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haikwritings · 4 years

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Haikyuu Boys / No Nut November - Part One

Part Two

Character Mentions: Ushijima, Atsumu, Bokuto, Tsukishima & Kuroo.

Warnings: Definitely Smut

Wakatoshi Ushijima

It has been a week since he started the No Nut November challenge along with his teammates; The Schweiden Adlers.

“Babe?” Y/n called as she got out of the bathroom, seeing her boyfriend in their shared bed reading a book about vegetables.

She was a bit annoyed and stressed about the challenge her boyfriend had accepted, but who was she to stop him from winning?

“What movie do you want to see?” Y/n asked sweetly.

They didn't really watch movies, but since sex was forbidden this month—there wasn't much of a choice.

“Anything.” Ushijima answered a little desperately.

‘Wow, he’s really taking this challenge so well.’ Y/n thought.

But what she didn’t knew though...

He was living a hell inside of him.

‘Cucumber, Carrots, Lettuce—’ Ushijima kept thinking.

He was trying to distract himself from her.

‘Kale, Broccoli, Spinach—’ Ushijima kept thinking.

He missed having sex, he missed being able to cum as much as he wanted.

‘Asparagus, Cabbages, Brussels—’ Ushijima kept thinking.

He had been hard and horny for days—

He didn’t knew how much he could resist.

“Babe?” Y/n asked confused.

He hadn’t notice, but he was too focus focusing on naming every vegetable in the world— that he didn’t notice his girlfriend calling him.

“Yes?” Ushijima asked confused.

“A-Are you okay?” Y/n asked worried, seeing him lost in his own thoughts.

His plan was failing, he was now focusing on her.

“Babe?” Y/n asked again worried, laying next to him.

He suddenly didn’t remember any vegetables—

“Babe?” Y/n asked as she touched his hand.

He felt his skin bristle at her sudden innocent touch—

“T-Toshi?” Y/n asked as she felt his body tense.

He felt like he could cum just right there and now.

“Babe?” Y/n asked worried as she stroke his hand softly.

‘Why isn’t he answering me?’ Y/n thought.

His heart was beating rapidly, he was having trouble breathing—

He was reaching his high and he didn’t knew how.

“I- I—” Ushijima managed to grunt.

Closing his eyes as he came from his high.

Cumming just from her touch.

“I—” Ushijima managed to say.

“D-Did you just—” Y/n was going to ask surprised but was interrupted by his sudden answer.

“Yes.” Ushijima answered bluntly.

Atsumu Miya

She knew what was coming when November came.

“No sex for a month.” Atsumu said proudly.

Not Nut November—

He was excited for this month, as he felt like he had control of himself.

“Well, if that’s what you want, babe.” Y/n whispered calmly.

Which, he didn’t.

“He won’t last an hour.” Sakusa whispered to himself.

Everyone was aware of how little self-control Atsumu had with himself. Everyone knew unfortunately how horny he was—especially his girlfriend, Y/n.

‘I guess he’s kinda right.’ Y/n thought to herself.

She knew he wasn't going to last, they both fucked like rabbits.

24/7, No Rest.

“It’s been six hours, ‘Tsumu.” Y/n whispered as she saw him standing on their window.

“I-It feels like a month.” Atsumu answered poetically.

She wanted to be supportive but Atsumu made it hard for her.

Specially if he was looking at her like she was a piece of meat.

“‘Tsumu...” Y/n warned as he stared at her a little more deeply, almost drooling in the process.

“W-What?” Atsumu asked innocently.

Again, it was difficult.

“You’re already hard?” Y/n asked in disbelief, seeing his hardened member throbbing in his pants.

Again, he had no self-control.

Is safe to think that sometimes he thinks with his dick.

“Wanna fuck?” Atsumu asked flirtatiously.

“Thought you'd never ask.” Y/n answered sweetly.

At least he made it through the middle of the day.

Kōtarō Bokuto

“Bo?” Y/n called as she came in with the grocery bags.

She had gone out to buy meat for her sad boyfriend.

“I bought steak and meat strips, your favorite.” Y/n said as she put them in the fridge

Reason for his sadness?

No Nut November.

“Y-You did?” Bokuto asked sweetly with puppy eyes.

Ten days had passed and he felt that he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Of course, I did.” Y/n answered sweetly.

What is the prize for the winner?

A BBQ party.

“Thanks babe.” Bokuto answered sweetly.

A BBQ party sounded awesome for him...

But he missed sex.

“So?” Y/n asked innocently as she sat on his lap, thinking that it would make him feel better.

But her innocent move— wasn’t doing him any good.

“I- I—” Bokuto stutter flustered.

He felt his hard member pressed against her ass, and his brain stopped working.

“What did you do when I left?” Y/n asked innocently.

He needed her to move, to make a friction— anything.

He needed to feel her somehow, otherwise he would go crazy.

“Babe?” Y/n asked worried as he saw him looking at her ass.

Immediately flinching as she felt his hand on her hips, moving her body slowly.

“Babe?” Y/n asked confused.

“I- I need to cum.” Bokuto managed to whispered.

She knew he couldn’t take it anymore and she knew well enough that he was going to feel bad afterwards.

“You wanna cum?” Y/n asked sweetly, almost teasingly.

So, she knew she needed to bring the best of him.

“Let’s see if you’re a good boy.” Y/n said sweetly, moving her hips against his cock just the way she knows he likes it.

“I- I’m a good boy.” Bokuto pouted, as he felt his breathing getting heavier.

“Show me.” Y/n teased sweetly, moving her hips a little bit faster.

She knew he was close, by the way he closed his eyes—

By the way he was muttering and moaning nonsense,

He couldn't form complete sentences.

“Prove it.” Y/n said sweetly.

She just knew him too well.

“I- I’m cumming.” Bokuto managed to moaned as he grabbed her and kissed her.

Immediately feeling his big load on his pants.

“T-That’s it babe.” Y/n preached sweetly.

“I- I—” Bokuto stutter, coming from his high.

“Such a good boy.” Y/n whispered in his ear.

Immediately jumping when his phone started to ring.

‘Who the hell is calling?’ Y/n thought.

“Yeah?” Bokuto answered his phone, trying to catch his breath.

“You fail didn’t you?” Atsumu asked on the other line.

He looked at her and smirked.

“Hell yeah, I did.” Bokuto smirked happily.

Kei Tsukishima

“What’s your problem?” Y/n asked confused and annoyed.

Annoyed by her boyfriend’s shitty attitude.

“Nothing.” Tsukishima answered annoyed.

Since the challenge of No Nut November had started, he had been colder and more unbearable.

“Tsuki. Is been two weeks.” Y/n said annoyed.

“So? I’m not loosing.” Tsukishima answered annoyed.

She wasn’t having it with his attitude.

“So, you better get that through your head.” Tsukishima warned.

And what better way to show it?

“Okay, Daddy.” Y/n answered sweetly but teasingly.

He felt his heart stopped as he heard his special nickname.

“Stop.” Tsukishima said annoyed.

She knew she had a lot of effect on him.

“Or what Daddy? Are you going to punish me?” Y/n asked as she smirked.

He was already feeling like cumming, just by her words.

“Don’t be such a brat.” Tsukishima warned.

“Brat? Oh. I didn’t know Daddy, why don’t you come here and punish me?” Y/n teased again.

He hated how she knew how to turned him on.

And he hated the brat she was being.

“Daddy?” Y/n called nervously as she saw him standing in front of her with lust in his eyes.

“Such a little brat, can’t even let me win a fucking challenge. Is that’s how needy you’re?” Tsukishima asked.

Because she knew how to push his buttons.

“On the bed. Naked. Wide for me.” Tuskishima command.

Making her heart flustered.

Tetsurō Kuroo

“Ku—” Y/n moaned at his rough and hungry kisses on her neck.

It had been fifteen days since Kuroo had decided to follow the No Nut November challenge.

“M- More—” Y/n pleaded softly as she felt his hand down her arousal.

It had been really hard for him— he was used to doing it ALL THE TIME.

“Where are your manners?” Kuroo whispered softly, teasing her.

So, it was hard for him not to get off.

“P-Please—” Y/n pleaded softly.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t get her off.

“Please what?” Kuroo asked teasingly.

“P-Please touch me.” Y/n whispered as tears slipped from her eyes.

“Anything for you baby.” Kuroo whispered as his fingers toyed with her panties—slipping them down slowly and teasingly.

He loved seeing her desperate.

“Baby, you’re so wet.” Kuroo teased as he touched her arousal.

And of course she was...

She was desperate, she haven’t felt him in fifteen days—

All because of that stupid challenge he was following along with Kenma.

“P-Please.” Y/n pleaded softly as he inserted his two fingers.

“Someone is desperate.” Kuroo teased, moving his fingers faster in that special spot of her.

“I- So good.” Y/n managed to moaned, feeling her body trembled.

She didn’t knew how he was surviving. She thought he wouldn’t even last five days, but here they were.

“I- I— wait.” Y/n moaned feeling something weird building up in her tummy.

She didn’t knew how to tell him, but her building orgasm was feeling a little different this time.

“K-Kuroo.” Y/n moaned, she couldn’t warned him since it felt so good.

“What got you so turned on?” Kuroo smirked.

He didn’t knew what was up with her,

She was a moaning and a blushing mess.

“Come on, just like that.” Kuroo teased, taking his thumb and pressing it to her clit, which make her go feral.

“Fuck.” Y/n moaned as she came immediately, grabbing unto his hair.

Her orgasm was definitely different.

Her turned vision white, she was dizzy— she was lost completely in the pleasure.

“I- I—” Y/n moaned, trying to catch her breath.

Suddenly noticing the mess that she had made thanks to his powerful fingers.

“Fuck.” Y/n said.

She had never squirted before.

“Babe?” Y/n said nervously as she looked at Kuroo who was perplexed—

“Fuck.” Kuroo smirked.

Suddenly looking down at his pants, seeing a big wet patch on them.

‘I-It can be.’ Y/n thought.

Could he had just cummed from seeing her cum?

“D-Did you just—cum?” Y/n asked seeing him blushing.

“Maybe.” Kuroo answered nervously.

A minute of silent for this loser.

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shima-draws · 3 years

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THIS IS SEVERAL DAYS (WEEKS?) LATE BUT I LOVE YOU ALL thanks for enabling me

-The AU begins with a casual city patrol. Izuku, Todoroki, Uraraka and Ojiro are teamed up. Things are seemingly normal until they accidentally bump into Shigaraki and Kurogiri—a completely unplanned encounter. Despite Kurogiri’s warnings, Shigaraki charges into battle against the students. Kurogiri jumps in to back him up by using his warps

-There’s a close call where Izuku’s about to get the jump on Shiggy—but Kurogiri manages to open a warp right before Izuku can reach him. This is where things get...funky.

-Izuku activates One For All as he disappears into the warp. Kurogiri opens a gate somewhere nearby. Todoroki and the others wait for Izuku to reappear...but he doesn’t.

-Todoroki, Uraraka and Ojiro gang up on Kurogiri and demand their friend back. Kurogiri doesn’t know what to do, this has never happened before, and he doesn’t know how to bring Izuku back. Apparently his warp malfunctioned, and Izuku seemed to get lost between dimensions.

-Finally, several minutes later, Izuku reappears. In the ensuing chaos Kurogiri and Shigaraki make their escape. Izuku is weak and shaking from the distorted warp, so Todoroki calls Aizawa and takes him back to campus.

-Izuku explains that it felt like he was falling, and almost like his entire body was trying to rip itself apart molecule by molecule—but then he fell back into the warp and came out on the other side like he was supposed to. Recovery Girl checks on him and just says that he’s in shock, no other injuries besides that. Izuku tries telling her about the strange feeling of pain he had, but she just says it might be a side effect of Kurogiri’s quirk, and that it might be some sort of delayed reaction. Izuku accepts that and things go back to normal

Rest is under the cut because she is looooooong lmao

-Except they don’t. Izuku starts to have strange dreams about somebody calling out to him. They leave him feeling unsettled and shaky in the mornings, almost like how he felt right after the warp. The dreams don’t go away—they keep coming back almost every night, and while they seem to get clearer, he still can’t figure out what they mean.

-Things start to get worse when the dreams transition over into the waking world, and Izuku starts to see flashes of someone with white hair and sad eyes in the corners of his vision. He easily gets distracted during training, and can’t seem to shake the worried feeling he has about this being important.

-It all comes to a head when Izuku suddenly finds himself in that weird place between dimensions during a training drill. He’s only there for a few seconds, but he’s finally able to catch a glimpse of what that world is like, because the last time he was there he was falling and spiraling and was too panicked to pay attention to his surroundings. After he snaps back to himself, he wonders if it was just in his head, but when it happens again and his friends have to shake him out of it, he realizes that his mind keeps transporting to that world...it seems like his place in reality is faltering.

-The “visions” slowly continue to get longer and longer each time, with Izuku slipping into that world more often. It’s getting harder to hide it from his classmates and teachers, and finally, there’s a time where it happens and Izuku is unresponsive for over 15 minutes. The person with the white hair keeps showing up, and Izuku is desperate to find out who they are

-During another training session, Izuku feels the lapse coming on, and decides to hide away for a bit to let it pass. Except this time he doesn’t just slip into the nether dimension with just his mind—this time his whole body transports there...and he finally figures out the truth.

-Izuku searches through the new world. Everything is distorted and gravity is all topsy turvy, and when he finally catches sight of the person reaching out to him in his dreams, he follows them. At long last he discovers just who has been communicating with him...and it’s himself!!

-The mystery ghost is finally revealed: an older Izuku, from another timeline. He explains to Izuku that the place they’re in now is a world between time and space that acts as a stabilizer and general overseer of other timelines and worlds. He refers to it as the Beyond, or by its more technical name, the nexus. Apparently the other Izuku has been here for a long time, keeping watch over all of his alternate selves and keeping the timelines in balance.

-Izuku questions just why he was brought there, and his alternate self tells him that when he activated One For All in Kurogiri’s warp, it ripped open a hole in space and he was able to make a connection to the Beyond, primarily because of his alternate self’s already existing presence there. That connection is unfortunately unstable so it kept pulling Izuku back in over time. The other Izuku has been trying to fix that connection but wasn’t able to do so without full contact, which is why he’d been reaching out to Izuku in his dreams.

-To make things easier, the other Izuku asks to be called Nexus. Izuku peppers him with questions, but Nexus is reluctant to answer. He decides to send Izuku back while he researches about his connection there to try and fix it—and then he makes Izuku swear that he won’t tell anybody about their interaction, mostly because outsiders shouldn’t be aware of the Beyond’s existence in the first place.

-Izuku arrives back in his world and realizes that several hours have passed since he vanished into the Beyond. His classmates and teachers swarm him when he returns, saying that they were about to send out pros to go find him. Toshinori questions Izuku about what’s been going on with him lately, but due to the promise he made Izuku can’t answer.

-As the days pass, Izuku continuously visits Nexus (mostly because he has no choice in the matter, being dragged there by the distortion lol) and tries to pry more answers out of him. Nexus is shockingly tight lipped and Izuku knows that something bad must have happened in his timeline for him to be here. Being older isn’t the only factor tying into Nexus’ general quiet demeanor and more serious attitude. Meanwhile, Toshinori and the Dekusquad are hurt by Izuku’s silence on what’s going on with him, and Izuku has an internal struggle over what matters more: the promise he made, or the trust of his friends and family. It’s a rough time.

-Izuku breaks down and Nexus realizes that maybe it’s time he starts being more forthcoming—he knows what the burden of secrets does to Izuku, being Izuku himself. Nexus finally reveals that his timeline had been completely wiped from existence centuries ago, due to an epic, climactic battle with AFO who was attempting to figure out how to access the Beyond and gain control over it in order to rule over all possible timelines. Apparently there was a backlash when AFO tried to access the Beyond and it caused the timeline to be erased. Izuku is absolutely horrified by the truth, realizing that billions of people existing in that timeline are just...gone now. Including everyone he loves.

-Izuku asks if AFO is gone too. Nexus looks haunted by that, but says he’s sure that he’s gone for good...leaving himself as the only proof that his world even existed at all. After Izuku leaves, Nexus decides to do a bit of digging, just to make sure that the AFO from his world truly is dead. And what he finds is not comforting.

-Apparently, after the timeline had been wiped from existence, Nexus wasn’t the only one who was tossed out before it happened. He discovers that AFO is still around, and that he’s been skulking between timelines, gathering new quirks and more power. Terrified, Nexus summons Izuku and tells him of his findings, and says that if AFO were to come after him in the Beyond, or any of them from any timeline, there’s no way they would survive the battle.

-Izuku convinces Nexus to come to his timeline to explain everything, because clearly this is no longer a one man job and something Nexus can’t handle by himself. The issue with that is that the Beyond has a strict no interference policy, at least on the basis of entering the timelines and tampering with them, so Nexus has been stuck there for centuries because he’s literally not allowed to go timeline hopping lol

-However, since Izuku was able to make a connection there and can travel between the two worlds freely (for the most part…) he’s able to utilize that connection to allow Nexus to enter his dimension. Nexus sees the sky for the first time in hundreds of years and is shaken into complete silence.

-The rest of the Dekusquad happen to be there when Izuku arrives with his alternate self and immediately bombard him with questions, but Izuku tells them the first thing they need to do is go see All Might and the other teachers to explain what’s going on.

-Upon seeing All Might again for the first time in centuries, Nexus bursts into tears (and this is a MONUMENTAL moment because Izuku hasn’t seen him cry once since meeting him, even when he told him that everyone he loved no longer exists). There’s a lot of fluffy family bonding and it’s very soft. Toshi holds onto both his boys and cries and I’M EMO LISTEN

-Nexus prepares to tell all the staff what’s going on, but first he reveals to Izuku that he didn’t...exactly tell him everything about what happened to his timeline. A quirk user is brought in who can read memories and project them on a movie screen, and the teachers and Izuku watch in horrified silence as they experience the last night of terror and heartbreak Nexus went through before his timeline was erased forever.

-The memories play back. Izuku is awoken in the middle of the night to find that the entire city is burning. The screams and pleas for help echo all around, and he finds that he can’t get into contact with any of his friends. Racing outside, Izuku looks up to see AFO silhouetted against the red sky, floating among the ashes and smoke. As Izuku hurries to catch up to him, he witnesses the sheer horror of a mass body count and hundreds dead along the way, including lots of minor and pro heroes that he knows.

-Izuku finally reaches AFO and immediately leaps into the fight. He doesn’t stand a chance. AFO has gathered too many quirks, and explains his plan to escape this dimension and gain access to the Beyond in order to spread his control further. Izuku is joined by his friends, but does not get to enjoy their help for long, because each of them are struck down, one by one. Fueled by rage and grief, Izuku ramps up OFA all the way and completely lets loose, chipping away at AFO while he cries over the deaths of his friends. Yeah this is gruesome and dark as shit and I’m not sorry

-AFO is about to get one final attack in—but Bakugou arrives at the last second and takes the blow for him. Bakugou dies in Izuku’s arms and that’s the last straw—OFA goes out of control right as AFO is preparing to open a warp to the Beyond, and the power spark causes a backlash that distorts everything, making the world glitch out.

-When Izuku wakes up, he finds himself in the Beyond with the blood of his friends on his hands. Information starts flooding into his brain about the Beyond and all of the timelines it’s tied to, and Izuku realizes what has happened. His home is gone...his friends, his family, the entire world...all wiped from existence. Now he is the only one left, tasked with taking care of the Beyond and mourning his losses for the rest of eternity.

-Needless to say, everyone watching the memories play are extremely emotional, and Izuku (our Izuku) is overcome with so much grief for his alternate self that they end up in an embrace, sharing a feeling that only they know between each other.

-Nezu and the other teachers agree to help Nexus defeat AFO once and for all. Nexus tells them that bringing in Class 1-A would be smart as well, and that he won’t make the same mistake twice and let them die. They decide to battle it out in the Beyond, it being the safest place to go wild without any risk of casualties or property destruction. And so!! Izuku introduces Nexus to the rest of the class, they all take a trip to the Beyond together, and so begins their grand training arc.

-Nexus preps each member of Class 1-A individually and on teams. They take turns going up against him and all get their asses thoroughly handed to them :) Nexus is hella strong and has had centuries to practice. He teaches them how to use the terrain of the Beyond, how to deal with the gravity and use it to their advantage. He tells them how to look for AFO’s tells and quirks so they can deal with his multipurpose battle style. Overall it’s a very fun yet stressful time with lots of bonding, sleepovers in the Beyond, and everybody getting a huge ass crush on Nexus because 1. He pretty, 2. He stronk, 3. He’s literally an eldritch being at this point, and 4. It’s Izuku. How can they not.

-There’s a time where Nexus takes Izuku to a special corner of the Beyond, and Izuku sees it’s covered for miles and miles and miles with gravestones. Izuku realizes that Nexus had spent years crafting as many as he could for all of the people that were erased from his timeline, even those he didn’t know, and at this point he’s lost count with how many there are. There’s a separated section with all of his family members and friends, and each of the stones are carved with special memorials. The rest of the class shows up and gets to look at their own gravestones and it’s fucked up as shit!! It’s very emotional and then everybody smothers Nexus with hugs and hgnhhhgh 🥺

Obviously there’s a lot that happens after this and the whole battle and everything but like. I don’t have all that planned out yet. But this is the general idea for the most part!! I’ve had a lot of fun brainstorming for this AU, I would do anything for Nexus period, and I’m super excited to start making content for it >:D

THANK YOU FOR READING and thanks for letting me infodump oh my god this is so long

#BNHA #Boku no Hero Academia #My Hero Academia #MHA #BNHA AU #Distortion Link AU #Midoriya Izuku #Deku #Dekubowl #Tododeku #Bakudeku #All Might #Dad Might #Toshinori Yagi #Nexus #Shima's AUs #Shima answers questions #Long post #Friends

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

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Raise

Ever since he and Nie Mingjue broke up, Jiang Cheng has only been going through the motions. He’s still fulfilling his duties as a Sect Leader—his pride in his Sect won’t allow him to do anything else—but that’s about it.

There’s nothing in life to take enjoyment from anymore and Jiang Cheng feels a lot like he did right after the war, except with less existential dread. But he’s lost and unmoored and he doesn’t know what to do.

He hates it a little bit that Nie Mingjue still has this kind of power over him, but mostly he’s just fucking devastated.

Now he understands his sister and her tears and her sad smiles a bit better.

Getting your heart broken really is the worse and Jiang Cheng guesses it doesn’t help that at least he knows that Nie Mingjue felt the same for him.

Jin Zixuan was a complete asshole to his sister, which must have made it a little bit easier Jiang Cheng hopes, because he wishes this for no one.

When he realizes that he lost himself yet again in his own head, he scoffs. It’s been happening a lot lately, and usually all of his thoughts turn to Nie Mingjue but he can’t afford to slack off.

No matter what his second in command keeps telling him on a daily basis.

If Jiang Cheng would take a day for himself, he wouldn’t do anything but wallow in his misery anyway, and he prefers working over doing that.

So he goes on, and on, one letter after the other, until he made a considerable dent into the stack that built itself up during his last weeks with Nie Mingjue.

Jiang Cheng grinds his teeth together when he realizes that he’s yet again thinking about the other man and he slams his hand on the table in his rage.

He really wonders just how long this will go on; how long he will be haunted by the thought of Nie Mingjue. Right now, he hears Nie Mingjue’s laugh echo in the hallways they frequently walked together, he feels Nie Mingjue’s phantom touch on his shoulder whenever he sits hunched over some work for too long, and he still feels all the love Nie Mingjue had for him.

But duty comes first, Jiang Cheng understands that. He doesn’t have to like it, but he understands.

“You can’t just—no, wait,” Jiang Cheng suddenly hears from outside and he lifts his head a second before someone barges into his study.

“You fucking asshole,” is what Nie Huaisang greets him with and Jiang Cheng knew that the break-up would throw a little bit of a wrench into their friendship, but he didn’t expect this.

“Huaisang,” he still greets his old friend, but he figures he shouldn’t have when Nie Huaisang glares at him, clearly too agitated to even get his fan out.

“Do not even dare,” Nie Huaisang hisses. “You absolute fucking asshole. You said you would love him!”

“I do,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh, getting up to close the door behind Nie Huaisang, hoping that not all of Lotus Pier heard him yet.

“Yeah, I can tell,” Nie Huaisang sarcastically gives back. “It’s so very evident in the way you broke up with him.”

“Don’t be unfair,” Jiang Cheng whispers, but he can’t meet Nie Huaisang’s eyes.

It still hurts too much.

“Unfair. Unfair! The only one being unfair here is you!”

“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng snaps, now slowly getting angry himself.

He can understand the protective instinct of a sibling, but this is really going to far. It’s not Jiang Cheng’s fault, and he didn’t actually want to break up with Nie Mingjue, but since it was what Nie Mingjue had wanted, he had done it.

And it seemed unfair to be attacked over this now.

“No. I’m going to ruin you,” Nie Huaisang lowly says and while usually Jiang Cheng wouldn’t give much thought to a threat like this, he knows that if Nie Huaisang really wants to, he will.

Going by the glare Jiang Cheng gets, Nie Huaisang really wants to.

“Why? It’s not my fault,” Jiang Cheng snaps at him and Nie Huaisang laughs right in his face.

“Right, not your fault. Of course not. How could it be? You’re just the guy who broke up with my brother.”

“Because he wanted to!” Jiang Cheng shouts at him, his heart still hurting so damn much and that at least is enough to shut Nie Huaisang up for a few seconds.

“He wanted to,” Nie Huaisang lowly repeats. “That’s what you’re going with? Really?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jiang Cheng asks, suddenly drained of all energy and he goes to sit back down at the table.

He doesn’t want to fight with Nie Huaisang and he doesn’t want to do it while standing up, and all he really wants to do is go crawl into bed with Nie Mingjue and curl up against his chest, but it’s not like he’ll ever be able to do that again.

“My brother finally opens up to you about the qi deviations and your first instinct is to run away and break up with him? And now you’re trying to twist it like it was actually his idea? You’re really something else, Jiang-zongzhu. I thought better of you.”

“That’s not what happened, Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng says with a small frown, because Jiang Cheng remembers that conversation a lot differently, and he was actually present.

“Then enlighten me,” Nie Huaisang hisses. “What did happen?”

Jiang Cheng desperately doesn’t want to speak about it—the pain still too near and fresh—but Nie Huaisang is levelling him with a look that promises pain and absolute ruin if Jiang Cheng doesn’t start speaking like five seconds ago and so he sighs.

“He told me about the qi deviations,” Jiang Cheng says, because so far they are on the same page. “That he’ll die soon and young and violently.”

“And you left him for it,” Nie Huaisang says with a nod, as if there could be no doubt about it.

“I love him. Do you really think that low of me?” Jiang Cheng asks, a new kind of hurt finding its place in his chest.

Jiang Cheng thought he was long over being hurt by people being disappointed in him, but it seems like he was wrong.

“Seeing as he is back home, absolutely devastated and you’re going on like nothing happened, I think the only possible answer can be yes,” Nie Huaisang sneers at him and Jiang Cheng sees red.

“I have to do this,” Jiang Cheng yells and shoots up. “I have to because if I don’t keep busy, if I don’t distract myself, I’ll be a fucking shell. I want to do nothing more than to crawl into bed and cry for a good week but what good is that going to do me? It’s not going to get me Mingjue back and my Sect actually still needs me. I was miserable all through the war and for a good while after and I don’t want to feel like that again. And besides; he made his choice. What use is there for me to cry after him.”

“He made his choice? The audacity you have! And don’t raise your voice at me like that,” Nie Huaisang gives back, clearly unfazed by Jiang Cheng’s explosion and it cuts all of Jiang Cheng’s strings.

It doesn’t matter what he tells Nie Huaisang, he realizes. He has his mind already made up.

“He told me about the qi deviations and that his Sect must come first,” Jiang Cheng still mutters. “He needs an heir.”

Jiang Cheng barely gets the words out, and he hates himself a little for how his eyes well up almost immediately. It’s been almost a week by now and the words still hurt as much as they did when they left Nie Mingjue’s mouth.

In front of him, Nie Huaisang freezes.

“What?”

“He said he needs to prepare, that he needs someone to take over eventually. It’s not that hard to understand his meaning,” Jiang Cheng whispers.

Nie Mingjue needs an heir. And for that he needs a wife. It’s as easy as that.

“Did he say it like that?” Nie Huaisang asks and Jiang Cheng nods miserably.

“That fucking idiot,” Nie Huaisang mutters and finally sits down himself, slamming his fan on the table. “Listen here, Wanyin,” he says and Jiang Cheng wonders when he switched back to being Wanyin again.

“I’m listening,” Jiang Cheng says because clearly Nie Huaisang is waiting for a response from him.

Though he’s not quite sure he can take any more accusations today.

“My brother is an idiot,” Nie Huaisang solemnly says and Jiang Cheng fights the immediate urge to defend Nie Mingjue.

He’s not sure he still has that right.

“Why?” he asks instead, because it seems like the safer option.

“I am his heir,” Nie Huaisang tells him and Jiang Cheng goes very still. “When father died and da-ge decided to not take a wife, they wrote that down somewhere. I’m to inherit the Sect should anything happen to my brother.”

“He—it didn’t sound like that when we talked,” Jiang Cheng carefully says.

It makes no sense. Nie Mingjue had looked sad as he had said that he needs to prepare. Why would he look sad if he already has an heir.

“There was sadness on his face when he said it,” Jiang Cheng weakly goes on, because he still remembers that look and it cuts him just as much as it did then.

“It was probably regret. Da-ge wanted to give me an intensive few months of Sect Leader training, so that he could hand off the reigns sooner, before his qi deviations get really bad. He resolved himself to not see you during those months, because he said you distract him too much.”

“No, he—” Jiang Cheng starts, putting his head in his hands. “That’s not how that conversation went.”

“Clearly, it’s not,” Nie Huaisang says drily. “But we both know da-ge and we know you. Both of you tend to draw your own conclusions. Da-ge thought he made himself perfectly clear—asking for a few months with nothing but letters for contact—and you thought he was breaking up with you. I can see where you would get that idea from, don’t take me wrong—da-ge is horribly bad at wording things—but it’s not what he wanted. He’s moping and heartbroken at home. I didn’t even get any training yet.”

“You hate training,” Jiang Cheng mutters, his head spinning.

“I like logistics and getting people to do what I want,” Nie Huaisang corrects. “And I would like my brother to be happy again,” he tacks on, with a raised eyebrow.

Jiang Cheng swallows.

“He doesn’t want to take a wife?” he asks, just to make sure. “He doesn’t want to sire an heir?”

“He does want to adopt a kid with the guy he had been courting for a while,” Nie Huaisang says, absolutely nonchalant as if it’s not blowing Jiang Cheng’s mind to hear that Nie Mingjue thought about a little family of their own.

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asks, his voice full of hope and his heart hammering away in his chest.

“Really,” Nie Huaisang assures him, finally picking up his fan and flicking it open with the by now so familiar gesture.

“I think I have to cut your visit here short, then,” Jiang Cheng says, already scrambling to his feet.

“You go on ahead,” Nie Huaisang waves him off, draping himself over the table. “The flight here was way too exhausting for me.”

“Sure,” Jiang Cheng says, rolling his eyes, but not actually bothering to convince Nie Huaisang.

If he flies alone he can push himself as much as he wants, and then he gets to see Nie Mingjue sooner.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng doesn’t bother to announce his arrival and Nie Mingjue’s disciples clearly don’t deem it necessary to do it, either, it seems, because Jiang Cheng simply barges into Nie Mingjue’s quarters without anyone telling him.

“What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue asks him, his voice rough and Jiang Cheng sees the dark circles under his eyes and how pale he is.

It seems they both didn’t deal well with the temporary break-up.

“Huaisang invaded Lotus Pier,” Jiang Cheng tells him and Nie Mingjue immediately draws himself up.

“Whatever he said, don’t listen to him. I respect your choice,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng wants to go to him and hug him and kiss him, but for now he simply rolls his eyes.

“He said there was a misunderstanding.”

“A what?”

“You said you need someone to take over the Sect. You never mentioned Huaisang. I thought you meant you want to take a wife,” Jiang Cheng explains in as little words as possible, because he is dying with the urge to finally get his hands on Nie Mingjue again.

“A wife,” Nie Mingjue repeats and blinks. “If anything she would be the second wife, because I intent to marry you.”

Jiang Cheng flushes bright red at that, but his heart is dancing in his chest. With happiness, for a change.

“Yeah, I should hope so,” Jiang Cheng says and dares to step closer. “But I understand duty to your Sect and so when you said it like that—”

“You thought I would ask you to step back so I can focus on my Sect. You would have allowed me to take a wife?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“Duty comes first,” he says because if he learned anything in his youth then it’s that. “I understand that. I didn’t like it, but it sounded sensible to me.”

“Nothing about that is sensible, I love you, what the hell would I ever do without you?”

Find someone else to love, Jiang Cheng wants to say, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t let him, because with two big steps he’s right in front of him and he doesn’t hesitate to crush Jiang Cheng to his chest.

“What would I even do without my heart?” he whispers again and Jiang Cheng’s resolve is broken.

He slings his arms around Nie Mingjue and presses himself as close as he can get, his breath leaving him in shuddering bursts.

“I didn’t like it,” Jiang Cheng chokes out. “I missed you so much. I love you.”

“Never think something like this again,” Nie Mingjue begs him. “I would never do that to you, not for any duty in the world.”

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng weakly says and Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to his head.

“Not for any duty,” he repeats and Jiang Cheng nods.

“Okay, alright,” he gets out, his voice choked up with tears.

For once they are tears of happiness because he’s finally back where he belongs.

Link to my ko-fi

#bt writes #mingcheng #the untamed #mdzs #angst #misunderstandings #temporary break-up #getting back together #hurt/comfort #nmj is alive #nhs is the best friend #and brother #and he will not let either of them forget it

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skiyoosmi · 3 years

Text

if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty three: seesaw

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Eerie. If there was one word to describe your current situation with Atsumu, that would exactly be the perfect term for it. As you sat across one another in a booth in a restaurant that Osamu apparently found for him (he says it’s the “best place” for the both of you to properly make up, you called it the “Osamu utters another bullshit” place), you find yourself unequipped of words to tell him, something you found odd considering you never had any dull or awkward moment with him. Well, at least not until our feelings got in the way, you thought, letting out a quiet sigh as you poked your food with the fork, completely aware of the stare that the blonde holds on you.

He fidgets in his seat, opening and closing his mouth as he tries to form his words because what else can he say aside from apologies (that he thinks are probably useless given that right after saying sorry, he finds another way to hurt you)? He doesn’t really have any other choice though so he takes a deep breath and begins his sentence, “YN, I’m really so-”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence or I might just stab you with this,” you cut him off, waving the fork you were holding in his face, snickering at his wide eyes that was accompanied by a large gulp. You put it down and place your chin on your hand, leaning your head towards it as you stared him down (more like glare, in his perspective), “Just wanna let you know, this will be the last apology I’ll ever get and accept.”

Observing the confusion that became more and more evident in his face, you continue, “Because if you hurt me one more time, then that’s it. I’m really gonna cut off my ties with you because that just proves to me that everything about this,” you gesture towards you and him, “is not meant to be… as friends.”

Not even as soulmates. In a pathetic attempt to make everything seem like it’s fine, you grab the glass that was right by your arm; the harsh flow of cold water down your throat is not even close to beating the suffocation of the truth that dawned upon you. How ironic - everything is just a cycle that keeps on repeating over and over again yet for some reason, the agony remains all the same. It never gets less and if anything, becomes more to the point that it just torments you every single moment of your breath. Always so pathetic, YN, always.

“YN…” he trails off but you hold your hand up, letting him know that you were not yet finished.

“So, make sure that this is the last. You know we both deserve so much more than a friendship that keeps on pulling and pushing us. We weren’t like this before, Atsumu,” you state as a matter of fact, sadly smiling as he bowed his head down, “what happened to us?”

Deep down, you already knew the answer to your question. No matter how much you wanted to deny it, deny her entire existence, you can’t. Because that would mean denying Atsumu and the happiness he desires. Yet at the same time, you just can’t let go of him.

“Yui happened,” he whispers, “I just… it’s inexcusable, the way I kept on pushing ya aside and hurting ya because of her… but I just… I thought she was her yanno? For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to meet my soulmate and Yui was just so bright and nice and I guess I got this hope in me that maybe she’s her… but she wasn’t and it’s so frustrating.”

The disappointment and sadness in his face squeezed your heart that thumped against your chest, the longingness that had always resided within you struggling to get out and give him a hug. As he spilled his heart out to you, you couldn’t help the guilt that began spreading in your mind, he wasn’t the coward; you were.

“It feels so frustrating to be so clueless every single time. I guess that’s why I took it out on ya, because I felt somewhat jealous that ya can see the threads and I can’t and for the rest of my life, I’ll be lost, wondering who my true soulmate is. And the fact that yer leaving me soon too… everything’s just so messy inside me, yanno? So I’m sorry for that, YN. I’m not excusing myself from the pain nor am I dismissing yer feelings but I hope ya understand where I’m coming from too,” he quietly speaks, fiddling with his fingers.

“Atsumu… I-”

“I said that but YN, I think I’m done waiting for my soulmate. I… I don’t want to seem selfish but… it has been too long of waiting… I’ve always tried to find them myself even though I don’t have abilities like yours. Thinking about it now, maybe they just don’t want to be found? Because if they did know me, wouldn’t they have told me right at the moment they met me? So, can’t you just cut off my thread please?”

And right at that moment, you felt your heart plummet down to the deepest and darkest abyss of your insides. He’s given up and you still can’t bring yourself to tell him the truth. I don’t want to give you up, please, not yet… You want to beg him; to just give you a little bit more time, a little bit more courage, a little bit more attention in hopes that he’ll see. Please, just look at me, look at me and you’ll find what you’ve been looking for, Tsum.

But the desperation in his face reels you back to the reality that he doesn’t want you; he wants some other girl, someone who can never be you and you find your heart being engulfed with bitterness so you scoff and stand up, “This bullshit again? You’re making me lose my appetite and I am not about to have this conversation with you, Miya Atsumu. ”

He gapes at you, obviously surprised with the sudden change of mood. It was already going good a while ago but perhaps, it was the calm before the storm, ready to ruin the both of you, “YN! Wait up! Stop! Come back here!”

He’s able to grab your wrist as soon as you get out of the restaurant, “Hey! Come on, I’m pretty sure the aftermath wouldn’t be that bad! Ya don’t need to be so uptight,” he pants. He never knew you can run that fast. But that’s totally not important at the moment because he can literally see steam coming out of your ears as you took a deep breath and turned around, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

“Uptight?! I’m in no way being uptight right now, Miya Atsumu! What you’re asking is… is dumb… outrageous… or nonsensical… AND dangerous!” you screamed, stuttering out of disbelief as the lad only looked at you with amusement. He chuckled; as much as he didn’t want to, he found your little tantrum cute. Your head whipped once again to his direction upon hearing his laugh, “you’re laughing?! Do you think asking me to cut off your thread is funny? You’re fucking ridiculous! Do you even know the consequences? Do you have no care for your soulmate?”

The grin leaves his face as he watches your eyes start to slowly but surely well up with tears, “Did you invite me just for this? Is this all you think our friendship is for? Jokes? Or the fact that I’m a fucking Moira who can fix your soulmate issues? I’m supposed to be your best friend before anything else, am I not?”

“Wait, no, YN… you know that’s not-”

“Because if you do think that way, you wouldn’t have thought about this in the first place because you’d know how much I despise cutting someone’s thread - have you even tried to think of what your soulmate will think? What would happen if she finds her thread cut off? You think she’d laugh too? She’ll just wake up one day with her thread being black, not even knowing what hap-”

“But she’s not here!” he screams, head down before he looked up, rage swimming in his eyes that even up to now, you still love, “She’s not here. And you’ve never even tried helping me find her so what makes you think you have a say on whether or not I should give up on meeting her? I’ve always asked for your help, didn’t I? But what? Every single fucking time, you reject the idea of me meeting her like it’s a plaque that will kill you.”

That’s because she’s always been here, I’ve always been here, idiot… is what you want to say but the painful truth of his words stopped you from retaliating further.

“She can find a new soulmate too! Y/N… please, I’m 100% serious about wanting to do this,” by now, any joke and teasing were gone from his voice as he begged the girl in front of him. But you were even more stubborn than him so you shook your head and crossed your arms, remaining firm on your stand.

“No. Stop being selfish, Tsum. It’s not always about your ‘needs’ and ‘wants.’ Breaking the bond… is something we mustn’t do, as much as possible. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret; I won’t let you,” you whispered, clutching sides of your skirt. Atsumu didn’t know what happened to him after that or why he stupidly chose to open his mouth again.

“You’re the one who’s being a selfish bitch, Y/N. Just because ya can’t find your soulmate and yer happiness, doesn’t mean we can’t too. You’re so needy that you can’t let us be happy without ya. I wonder what the gods thought when they gave you that power? Stupid gods, they can’t even do one thing right; giving it to a coward and a selfish bitch who can’t even cut her best friend’s thread for the sake of his happiness…” it was the crestfallen look plastered on your face that made him stop as soon as he saw it. Realization dawned upon him and immediately, he tried reaching out to you with his hand.

Ah, I give up.

“It’s okay…” you choked, pulling back from him and taking a deep breath, no longer giving any effort to stop the tears that now freely flowed down your cheeks, “I understand. I’m sorry that I care for you then.”

He opens his mouth, ready to say yet another apology but he knows… he knows it was futile now. He watches you as you hastily wipe your cheeks from any tear stain but they kept on coming so you felt yourself get frustrated even more. Stop being so pathetic for once, YN, for god’s sake!

“You know, Atsumu? I always feel like we’re in a seesaw that just never stays balanced. It’s either one of us is on the top while the other’s down and it just… gets so fucking tiring trying to understand you.” You took a deep breath, pursing your lips as you finally felt the courage within you. It’s a little bit late for it to come, isn’t it?

“You want to know why I never told you about my soulmate’ Because I’ve found him a long fucking time ago. But he can’t even be honest to himself that he at least feels something for me. He chooses to be blind with all the possibilities we could have if he just chooses to cross the line, even for just a little bit… right? Cause be fucking honest, Atsumu, it doesn’t even matter if I told you or not. Either way, you’re never gonna love me the same way I’ve always loved you. It’s quite funny, honestly, I’ve never told you because I wanted you to love me, not because I’m your soulmate but because I was YN. But I never expected that it would be the very reason why I can’t have you… because I’m just YN.” You let out what seems like a laugh but the waver in your voice failed to deliver that.

“... So don’t tell me I’m needy and selfish because if I were, I would’ve told you the moment I met you that it was you. But I didn’t want to lose you, so I thought it was okay. I can deal with the pain if it meant I can keep you beside me and not risk anything…” you trail off, “... but I’m just… I’m done pretending I can keep being on this playground with you.”

You took out the red scissors that you’ve loathed so much, nearing it to your threads as he stayed still in disbelief of everything that has been revealed to him seconds ago, “I love you, Tsum..... I only wish for you to be happy so… don’t ever regret this, okay?”

Atsumu looks at you and at that moment, he just knows… that for the rest of his life, he’ll remember the broken smile you gave him as you finally cut the thread that has connected you to him for the past years.

Don’t regret anything, Tsum…

“Because I won’t.”

I won’t even remember a single thing about you.

note. ah… at last we have come to the beginning of the end. two words from me to you: i’m sorry.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #haikyuu headcanons #atsumu x reader #atsumu smau #iwaizumi smau #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu angst #atsumu headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyuu writings

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glassessence · 3 years

Text

Elriel Hint and Analysis - includes analysis of Feysand & Nessian (ACOSF Spoilers)

I’m pretty new to the fandom, but I am currently obsessed with Elriel. This is my ship and I will go down with it until the day I die. As a fairly casual reader, I honestly had zero doubts the next book would be Elain’s and that the couple would be Elriel.

Then I discovered the existence of the extra POV chapters and Azriel’s threw me in for a bit of a loop. Especially with the ending (which I genuinely believe is a red herring. I lean very heavily into the lightsinger Gwyn theory).

However, stalking Tumblr made me come across this again:

Life and death and rebirth

Sun and moon and dark

Rot and bloom and bones

Hello, sweet thing. Hello, lady of night, princess of decay. Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn.

Love me, touch me, sing me.

And then my brain accidentally vomited an essay on the symbolism in each sister’s journey...

Life and death and rebirth so clearly symbolise Feysand’s journey. Feyre leaves behind her life of poverty for a brand new one with Tamlin. She journeys Under the Mountain for love of him and ultimately succeeds in saving not just him, but all of them. In the process, she dies. Not just in the physical sense, but spiritually too. Feyre the human perishes, giving rise to Feyre the High Fae. In a purely physical sense, this is definitely a rebirth. But it’s stilted, incomplete. She’s the newly born phoenix - young, fragile and yet covered in the ashes of its fiery death. Her spiritual rebirth lags behind her newly changed body. Like a bird in a cage, she is trapped in Tamlin’s realm, unable to finish developing, to spread wings and fly.

That all changes when she is whisked away to the Night Court. She learns to read and some of the ash falls from her body. She makes friends and some more ash is brushed away by the Inner Circle. The final remnants of ash are blown away by the taste of freedom and the kiss of wind, and Feyre’s rebirth is finally complete. Spiritually and physically, she is changed. She becomes Feyre the High Lady. From life back to life, she is returned through the power of love. Take note that while love is important in all the sisters’ journeys, it is the focal point and highlight of Feyre’s. She is someone who has never been loved in that wholesome, selfless way Rhysand loves her. Tamlin was possessive and abusive; Nesta was barbed and sharp. Elain was fragile and ethereal. Love was something she had never really known and consequently something she desperately, desperately needed. That’s why the phrase that symbolises her is love me.

Sun and moon and dark refers very much to Nessian. Nesta is the sun and she is burning. Has been burning for a long, long time. She is aflame, nothing but ashes inside, and her words are fire. She scalds anyone who dares approach, just as everything melts before the sun. Like Feyre, she has had her physical rebirth, but not her spiritual one. She is trapped in her own head, locked behind her own self-hatred, her own raging inferno that yields to no one. Like Feyre, she is also a phoenix, but one whose fire never stopped. In that sense, she has never died. Her spiritual rebirth is not simply incomplete; it has never happened.

Until she starts training with Cassian. Until she starts befriending Emerie and Gwyn. This is what marks the death of Nesta the human and the emergence of Nesta the High Fae. (I use the term ‘human’ loosely here, mostly as a way of conveying my point about her spiritual journey rather than the state of her physical being). She loses her solar flare, that inner blaze that was killing her and blackening her soul. She mellows from unapproachable sun to a softer moon. It’s here that she stays a while, seeming to progress and regress in her healing journey as the moon waxes and wanes. It’s not until the hiking scene that she finally breaks. She weeps despite Cassian’s expectations to the contrary. Through her tears, she finally extinguishes the long-raging fire and hatred that has been destroying her. No more blazing sun, no more wavering moon. Only darkness to cradle her, and acceptance. Through Cassian’s ceaseless efforts and her friends, her journey reaches its apex. She finally becomes Nesta the Valkyrie.

Her journey hinges heavily upon the fact that nobody could reach her through the flames. Nobody had kept trying after getting burned again and again. Nobody except Cassian. He reaches out, time after time, even when she hurts him. Even when she burns him. Until he succeeds and touches her soul. That’s why the phrase that symbolises her is touch me.

Of course that leaves only the last line: rot and bloom and bones. I wonder who this could symbolise! Surely not the Archeron sister who is associated with roses and has a complicated romance dilemma with someone from the Autumn Court (rot) and someone else from the Night Court (bones)! Surely not!

Jokes aside, I strongly believe this line reveals Elain’s journey. If we continue thinking of the words as a progression, I think it makes a lot of sense. Keeping in mind the theme of life, death and rebirth, this is how I think of it:

Life / Rot / stagnation, the start of the journey

Death / Bloom / change, the start of healing

Rebirth / Bones / ascendance and acceptance, the start of the future

There are several interesting things to note about the sentence:

The word bloom is nestled among rot and bones

Elain’s two potential love interests both have strong associations with those words

I’ll address each point as we delve into Elain’s analysis.

Let’s start with Elain the human. As previously established, this is when the character is at their worst, blind in the dark before the dawn. I see this as Elain’s forced transformation by the Cauldron. Everything she knows is ripped away from her and her marriage crumbled to dust. She is thrust into a world both unknown and at war. She emerges changed and cursed with powers she cannot control and does not understand. Her life, once a slow-blooming flower, has just rotted into nothing. She is lost, confused and deeply depressed. Her physical rebirth may be complete, but her spiritual rebirth cannot begin until she gathers the shattered pieces of herself back together.

This happens slowly. So slowly, in fact, that it’s hard to notice and easy to dismiss. She befriends Nuala and Cerridwen. Begins gardening again. Talks to the Inner Circle and buys them gifts for Solstice. Slowly, so very slowly, she is starting to piece herself back together. Off-page, she quietly unravels Elain the human and emerges from her cocoon as Elain the High Fae. Like a wilted flower that has dropped its petals, a new season has come, bringing with it new buds. She is blooming, opening herself to new possibilities for companionship, love and for a new self to rise to the surface. But blooms are fragile, newly born things. Elain hasn’t dealt with the full force of her trauma, of her lifelong lack of choice (I’m not going to delve into this as there are so many amazing analyses out there!). She is a trembling fawn, still trying to learn how to walk.

But her spiritual rebirth will remake her. Bones. It’s so different from the previous two words that it really leaves an impact. Blooms rot and fade. Flesh breaks and dies. But bones are strong, the frame that holds up our entire beings. Bones are unyielding and solid, taking no other shape like blood nor bruising like flesh. I see this as Elain standing up for herself, unswayed by external forces that have always governed her life and breaking away from the fragile flower people have always thought she was. By cutting away the rotting flesh, she will reveal the backbone beneath and ascend as Elain the Kingslayer/Seer.

Of course, closely tied to each sister’s personal growth arc is her love interest. For me, I don’t see it going any other way than Azriel.

SJM chose rot not only to represent the ‘life’ section of Elain’s personal journey, but also to represent Lucien. He has connections to the Autumn Court, a season that is often associated with decay and rot, but also with harvest and bounty. Highlighting the negative aspects of autumn invokes a strong sense of wrongness. Lucien is not right for her. Not to say anything bad about his character; he’s just not right for Elain. His presence in the books eats away at her newfound boldness; he rots away the path she is trying to carve for herself.

On the other hand, Azriel is closely tied with death, with blood and bones and shadow. He’s not only Rhys’ spymaster, he’s also his torturer. His association is with bones, a word that invokes a sense of everlasting, of persevering beyond death. Bones is also used to describe the ‘rebirth’ section of Elain’s personal growth arc, the final aspect that leads to ascendance, and acceptance of one’s past and present. Meanwhile, bloom represents Elain herself and the ‘death’ portion of her story, the aspect that heralds change and healing.

Rot, bloom and bones represent both her personal journey and her love interests. It’s all intrinsically linked. Lucien is ‘life’ and stagnation, Elain is ‘death’ and change, and Azriel is ‘rebirth’ and acceptance. As a progression, this is how I interpret the sentence:

By rejecting the bond with Lucien, she is stepping into herself and forging something everlasting with Azriel.

Lastly, let’s not forget that the phrase symbolising her is sing me. This didn’t make much sense to me until I read Azriel’s bonus POV. In it, he confesses to Gwyn that he does sing. Why include this if it’s not a subtle callback to this prophetic paragraph in ACOMAF? It feels like a treat to hardcore fans who like finding all the little connections (since they’re the ones most likely to have read the bonus chapters). The fact that Gwyn also sings signals to me there’s an important plot point regarding song. Maybe homegirl Elain will be forced to throw a hardcore metal concert to save Az XD Wouldn’t that be a plot twist HAHAHA.

I don’t know when SJM started planting seeds for Elriel in any serious capacity, so perhaps I am reading WAY too much into this. Either way, I am super keen for the next book!

Please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts! I am desperate for Elriel right now hahaha. Thanks for reading!

OH, BUT ONE MORE THING.

The greetings are really interesting. Sweet thing obviously refers to Feyre. Lady of night and princess of decay are clearly meant for Nesta.

Fanged beast and trembling fawn are left for Elain. It’s easy to write this off as being about her LI and herself, respectively, but I don’t know. The sentences build upon each other. A single moniker grows to two - the first separated by a comma, the second expanding to use an and. It’s something you see a lot in poetry, generally used to emphasise a point. I’m not entirely sure what the point is; it might just be a nice writing flourish, but wouldn’t it be interesting if both those statements were referring to Elain herself? Wouldn’t it just be juicy?

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bigwhispersbluebird · 3 years

Text

Look into my eyes, and lie

Synopsis: Taehyung and you have been dating for years, serious enough to announce it publicly. Everything was perfect until he starts ignoring you and the only thing that breaks the silence is a rumour that might be the end of this relationship as you know it.

Angst, written from OC's perspective

Warnings: Insinuation of cheating

Author's Note: This will be a two-shot, hopefully.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing off the hook. Even though I usually turn it to silent before sleeping but last night, I had consciously kept it on the highest volume in hopes that he would call.

Taehyung and I had met when my company was contracted to serve as publicists of Bangtan. Being attracted to one of the members went beyond every code of ethic that I had etched in my brain but there is little to be done when the only thing keeping you sane is a certain boxy smile and its owner's persistence. After a couple years of dating, Taehyung wanted to make it official by announcing it to ARMY, first and foremost. That was when the realisation had hit me that this relationship meant as much to him as it did to me.

While the media had tried to turn the situation against BTS, it was the faith and support of ARMY that helped in finding stability and an easy way through it all. Things had been great since then.

Until now.

Taehyung was out of reach, out of contact for days. Eventhough he had always made time before or atleast squeezed in a call, he had not even bothered to reply to my texts for days. More than angry or upset, it was worry that overtook my senses.

"Perhaps he was busy and finally got time", I thought suddenly when the phone rang again.

I sprang up and immediately started searching for it; hands splayed on the mattress, reaching out for him.

Although, as soon as I saw the notifications, my heart dropped. It was a bunch of calls from my company and hundreds of Twitter notifications. This could only mean one thing: another rumour or scandal.

I unlocked my phone, swiping left on all the notifications, searching for only one that I was looking for. But it wasn't there.

However, there was a message from Namjoon. Simple yet something that scared me to bits.

"I am sorry. Talk to me whenever you can."

What was he sorry for?

I tentatively opened Twitter, and soon I wished I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss and I would give anything to be the fool I was a few seconds ago still waiting on a call from the only person who had the power to shatter me like he just did.

"BTS's Taehyung spotted with a blond through the back alley of his private apartment. Unless Y/N has suddenly had a change of style, we smell something fishy."

Attached was a blurred shot taken through night vision camera. And if I hadn't memorized all the contours of his body, I would have second guessed who that person was for the sake of my sanity. However, one look and I knew that it was him. His arms around the waist of a blond I hadn't seen before. Her face was not visible but she seemed too close to him for my liking.

No, Y/N! Stop acting all paranoid. You know he is not like that. There must definitely be a reason for this image and the situation. And just because someone calls it an affair, doesn't mean it has to be. He would never disrespect you like that. Get a grip.

Repeating the same words in my head, I got up from my bed, ignoring the notifications that were still chiming on my phone. I almost believed what I was telling myself but the lack of explanation on his behalf made me question myself.

Shouldn't he have called me after seeing this? After knowing how it would affect me? Or maybe it is true and he doesn't have the nerve to accept it? Or perhaps, it is too much of bullshit for him to pay attention to it?

Questions after questions popped in my head as I got dressed for work, maybe he would drop by there? Amongst it all, the thing that was worrying me more was not the picture or the news but his absence from my life for so long that he hadn't even bothered replying to me. Whatever happened or didn't happen was about the night before so what was the reason of his anger before that?

Before leaving, I unplug my phone from the charger and once again scrolled through all the notifications. Messages from my friends, even his friends but none from him.

Frustrated, I climb into my car and turn on the music at the highest volume, hoping it would quiet down my brain.

*****

"Everything that has been reported is nothing but a misunderstanding and yet another manipulation of a simple situation to relay a story of your choice. Taehyung and I are still together and very happy and have only to be grateful to our fans that have believed us without reason. He is busy with his work and I am indulged in mine but please don't worry about us."

I turned off the television after watching myself strut inside the office building after giving a speech I wish I had believed with as much confidence as I had faked. But something had to be done about the reporters that had not moved from the building for the last four days. What didn't help the case was that his label had not come out with ANY statement nor were we spotted together. Everyone had assumed that we had broken up after Taehyung cheated. No matter what, I would not let a scandal tarnish his career.

My anger filled speech could not be nitpicked by even the most observant of people. That is what you get after years of being famous and now the head of the leading artist representative label.

But as I sat in my office room, overlooking the city, I could not mute the sound of my heart breaking.

I glanced at the frame on my desk. A picture we had taken on our trip to Rome. A simple one of us on the bike we had rented. Me holding on to his waist and him holding on to me, genuine smiles painted on our lips.

When did everything go so wrong?

I didn't even notice I was crying until my secretary knocked on the door, opening it simultaneously in urgency but soon halting noticing my state.

"It is okay, Kai", I waved at him, wiping at my face with the other.

"Um, apologies ma'am but Mr Taehyung is waiting for you."

My mind went numb. I didn't expect him to come anymore. Not after he had ignored my existence for so long now, acting like we meant nothing.

But he was here. He was here and I wish I had the courage to turn him away but I did not. I wanted to see him. Desperately.

Unable to voice out my thoughts, I just nodded at Kai who understood as he walked out, probably to lead him inside.

I immediately glanced at the mirror on the wall, my self respect intact enough to not let him know how much his indifference had hurt me. I would never give anyone that satisfaction.

But as he walked into the room, his familiar scent overtaking everything reminding me how every part of my own office was full of him. The picture on my desk, his guitar leaning on the farther wall, my side table still full of the lavenders he had bought me a month before, the coat hanger where his baseball cap still stands when we decided to leave our disguises and go on a sudden date. And well me, his from every aspect, body and soul. My heart almost stopped and my brain lost all reasons it had to put up a facade. I just wanted to run to him.

But all the emotions made me so exhausted that I kept sitting there, planted as if I would combust into ashes if I tried moving.

So I stayed, looking at him. Dressed like his usual self, a plain shirt with flared pants and a vitange coat. His hair styled like he had come straight here from work. He must have, I realized as I noticed what time it was.

"Tae...", I tried breaking the silence but all that came out was a meek croak. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "You came here from work?". Again, silence.

"Were you crying?", he said. His expressions stoic but worry shining from his voice and I wanted to burst into tears but I only had my dignity to hold onto right now.

"Not really. Kinda sick I guess so I might look red but I am fine".

I knew he didn't believe me but thankfully he let me live it down.

Moving forwards, he tentatively sat in the chair placed opposite mine and I knew how neither of us failed to realize how foreign that action was when usually he would grab a chair and place it right beside mine, pulling me closer to him until I was between his knees or how he would settle himself on the sofa and pat on it and I would rush to occupy the space beside him.

I tried to swallow another lump forming in my throat. This was his way of showing that things were different. And I wanted to know why. Was it someone else? Or did we just reach the end and I didn't see it coming?

I watched him as he looked down, fumbling with the belt of his coat, which he had not taken off, not expecting to stay long. His face which was always stoic failed to hide how desperately he was searching for words to make everything go away.

I saw it too and it was the only reason why I fought through all my resolve and spoke, not bothering to hide how vulnerable I felt.

"Taehyung, I don't want any explanations", I noticed as his eyes met mine, slowly, all his attention on me, "I don't want to know anything that happened before or anything that happened after you stopped talking to me". I stopped, my heart beating so fast I could hear it thump in my ears. His eyes fixated on me, his expression mimicking mine- awaiting what I would say next.

"Just tell me they lied", I spoke but it came out as a plea, my voice cracking as I tried to maintain eye contact with him through all the tears that were now brimming my eyes. "Tell me that nothing happened between you and the woman in that picture. Just say that and I will never talk about this again. I'll forget that these last few weeks ever occurred in our lives."

Taehyung's eyes did not leave mine, his expression unreadable now. As I continued speaking, his head fell low, trying to hide the tears that were in his eyes too.

"Tell me and I will take your word over everything. Please," I begged, " Please...".

I did not have the energy to continue as emotions overtook me and I helplessly sobbed, my entire body shaking and tears chasing each other down my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands, crying into my palms until I felt familiar warm hands on mine, pulling them to reveal my face.

My teary eyes met his and before I could try to understand what everything meant, he broke the silence, saying each word without breaking eye contact so I could believe it, "They lied. I can't...I didn't cheat on you...".

As soon as his words reached me, my eyes failing to find a lie, I couldn't hold it in as I burst into tears throwing myself in his arms which were quick to catch me, enveloping around my body tightly showing that he won't let go.

So I cried into him while I felt his own tears dropping on my shoulders.

Nothing mattered. Neither the several days of not talking, nor the reports pouring in since that night. I knew that he was not lying and that was enough to make me let go of everything else.

For now.

#bts #bts reactions #bangtan #namjoon #kim namjoon #fanfic #fic #canon #angst #kim taehyung #v #taehyung #reader #oc x canon

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chipper-smol · 3 years

Text

Feral Vessel Chain 2

reminder that these are being posted by when they finish and not chronologically

Prompt: Herrah has a heart to heart with Feral about looking after Hornet once she’s called to fulfill her duty as a dreamer.

( @reverieriver )

“Feral one.”

Herrah’s voice, calm as it was, immediately had their attention. Ghost wouldn’t say they were afraid of the Beast, not by any stretch of the word--but they also weren’t inclined to go against her lest they get on her bad side. They’ve seen her bad side. It wasn’t something they wished to inflict on even the Radiance.

“Come with me. I need to speak with you in private.”

Respect, that was it. Everything about her presence demanded respect. That wasn’t something they gave freely, but they respected her. They nodded in silent affirmation, and followed as she led them away.

It was only when the both of them were settled in a quiet room away from the bustle of the Palace that Ghost noticed the tiny, red-cloaked form of a familiar spiderling clinging to her mother in her sleep. Their heart did a little jump inside their chest. It was still difficult to imagine this adorable being as the cold and stern sister that tried to kill them twice.

“Ghost.” Once again, Herrah’s voice redirected their attention at once, moreso now with the sound of their name. So she did know it. Father or Mother must have mentioned it in passing. Why did she need to talk to them, though? They watched her with intent curiosity. She said nothing at first, taking the time to contemplate her words before she spoke again. “You know what is going to happen.”

They tried their hardest to tamp down the sudden surge of panic that threatened to rise up. What did she mean by that? There wasn’t any way she could know, right? There might have been suspicions, of course, but they thought they were pretty good at hiding the whole “I’m from the future and know everything that’s going to happen” deal.

“You know of the plan the Wyrm has for us.” Oh. Right. That. That was something they knew anyway. Of course they did, they were technically part of it. But why bring it up now?

They watched as Herrah gingerly plucked her daughter from her cloak to cradle in her arms instead. The hatchling fussed for only a moment, scrubbing her eyes with tiny hands before nestling against her mother and settling into sleep again. There was a look in Herrah’s eyes that Ghost wasn’t sure they’ve ever seen before as she gazed down at Hornet. A certain softness, a mother’s affection... but also, fear. Uncertainty.

“I...” She faltered, and took a deep breath before continuing. “One day, I will enter an eternal slumber. On that day, and all the days after, I will not be able to care for my child. I will not be able to raise her.” She hugged her daughter a little closer. Her voice wavered in a way that made Ghost ache to the very core of their void. “I won’t see her grow up.”

Finally she looked at Ghost again, after collecting herself. “Someone will have to look after her, in my stead. Someone I trust enough to hold my child’s life in their hands.”

She moved in close to them. Something shifted, and their arms reflexively curled around a gentle weight placed in their grasp. Herrah pulled back, and Ghost realized with a start that Hornet now rested against them. The hatchling’s eyes blearily blinked open, looking up at Ghost... and then she nuzzled into them much like she had with her mother, and went back to sleep.

They looked up at Herrah again. There was something like a sad smile in her eyes. “Out of everyone here, I trust you the most. Ironic, isn’t it?”

Their gaze dropped back to the little slumbering spiderling in their arms. She was so small. So light, she barely weighed anything. But the gravity of the situation sat heavy in their mind, as they remembered again that she was one day going to grow into the Hornet they knew. They remembered again how she looked when they returned from the dream realm after breaking Herrah’s seal. They remembered her grief, and their own guilt.

They wanted more than anything to change that; to see her grow up with her mother; to see what kind of bug she would become if she never lost her, and never closed herself off to the world, cold and bitter. If they succeeded, and the Dreamers never had to Dream.

But if they failed, if they didn’t find a way to get the Dream Nail or some other means to fight the Radiance, then what would all this be for? Hornet would still lose her mother, their sibling would still be sealed away, everything would continue to fall apart in slow motion and there wouldn’t be anything they could do about it.

Ghost wanted to protect their family, but as things stood now, they couldn’t even protect them from their fates. Couldn’t even protect the spiderling in their arms, so small and so vulnerable, from the pain they knew she would suffer in the future. Vaguely, they were aware of Herrah beginning to say something when--

“No cry!” a tiny voice squeaked.

They looked down, startled. They hadn’t even realized that Hornet had awoken at some point. Worse yet, they hadn’t realized the moment that tears began spilling down their mask. But she had. “No cry,” she pleaded once more, a tiny hand reaching in their general direction as though trying to offer comfort. They dipped their head towards her, and she pawed at their tears.

It almost made them want to laugh, that their baby sister of all bugs would try to comfort them right now. They carefully shifted her weight to one arm so they could have a hand free to wipe their eyes.

“You... don’t have to, you know,” Herrah offered. “I simply thought that, considering how I trust you and how she adores you--”

Ghost raised their hand with a quick motion to say, stop. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, that much was certain. But their resolve was set now; they were going to do everything in their power to make sure that they wouldn’t have to. Not that they could tell her as much. So they gave her a nod in answer. If, and only if, they did fail after everything was said and done, then they would take care of Hornet in her mother’s stead.

Herrah nodded in turn, and her relief was nearly tangible. They could only imagine how she must have worried for her daughter’s future. “Thank you, Ghost. Now, if I may have my child back?” She reached for Hornet, only for the spiderling to scuttle straight up Ghost’s head to settle between their horns in an attempt to get away. “Little one...”

“Wanna stay wif Ghos’!”

Herrah laughed softly. Ghost did as well, if only silently. “Well, alright, then. I suppose I can let you watch her for a while. I trust you’ll take good care of her.”

They nodded. No matter what happened, they promised: They would take care of their sister.

( @philliaesaya, https://twitter.com/ArtistPhillia )

( @ofstormsandfire )

If Ghost could speak, they’d have to say they very much underestimated just how high-energy their sister would be. But then, who would they say it to? They certainly wouldn’t admit it to the Pale King, who likely isn’t even aware of their current whereabouts, never mind Hornet’s. Herrah is a possibility. Their mother is also a possibility.

But due to a particular monarch’s insistence on his perfect vessel having no voice to cry suffering, Ghost is as voiceless as the day they were hatched. Never mind that they are, by choice, nearly as far from being that perfect, impossible vessel as anyone can be without actively colluding with the Radiance.

(That wasn’t a choice Ghost had ruled out, upon waking up in their past. They haven’t entirely ruled it out even now. But to do anything concerning the Radiance, Ghost would first need the Dream Nail. To get the Dream Nail, they first need to find the Seer. And, unfortunately, their drawings of moths when shown to others are always mistaken for surprisingly non-insulting caricatures of the king.)

“Ghostie! Be tall!”

Out of nowhere, Hornet leaps all the way from the ground to cling onto Ghost’s mask. She hangs there and giggles. Her giggles only intensify as she starts to slip.

If Ghost could smile, they would. As is, they catch her with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, and deposit her once again in the space between their horns. Hornet grabs both of them with a tiny cheer, and they start walking again.

They still can’t quite decide what is stranger: Hornet being this small, or Hornet being this friendly. This is a Hornet long before her life and her family fell apart, before any of the things that make her who she becomes go horribly wrong. But they still see the Hornet they know in her own, clumsy attempts at pranking the king, attempts that are slowly but surely getting better and better.

The Pale King blames Ghost, as he does for even the smallest and fully unrelated inconvenience. Ghost strongly suspects Hornet would have turned out like this with or without their influence.

Their wandering takes them to the Resting Grounds, as it often does. Never before has it been with their sister in tow. They pass the space where Xero’s grave will rest, the not-yet-built memorial to the Dreamers. Both are reminders of time running out.

Xero did not turn against the king for no reason. He has not, yet. He will not until their sibling is sealed away, and it is becoming clearer and clearer that the desperate plan the king pinned everything on has failed.

There were Six Great Knights, once.

And the Dreamers… Ghost cannot speak for Lurien, as the Watcher is conspicuously absent from his Spire whenever Ghost comes around. Perhaps he knows, somehow, that Ghost would exact revenge for his knights in prank after prank after prank. Perhaps he doesn’t, but merely suspects what Ghost is up to and hides himself away in preparation. But even he does not deserve to sleep forever, no matter how many times they were reduced to shade and broken shell attempting to reach him.

They have met Monomon and Herrah, however. Monomon automatically earns a place on their List Of Bugs They Like, Actually by sheer virtue of unintentionally assisting them in their sacred quest of vengeance (and on one notable occasion, very intentionally assisting them.) Quirrel had already been there, and nothing short of him attempting to kill them would take him off that list. Their opinion of him had shot up with his involvement in the Unn Incident, however.

Herrah is so much like the Hornet Ghost remembers that it’s painful. They’d overheard her, once, saying that a large part of why she’d agreed to this was so Hornet wouldn’t have to go through the things she had.

There had been no crimes committed against the king that day. They had been too busy crying somewhere no one would find them.

Lost in their thoughts, they almost miss the flash of movement up ahead. Almost. They do not, however, miss the gasp, nor the… was that a purple cloak?

It might have been. It was certainly some dark color. The Seer wore a dark purple cloak, or perhaps those were the wings they never saw her use outside the realm of dreams. That might not be the Seer. That could be any other bug, or even just a figment of their imagination.

But if it is her… why would she be hiding from them?

The answer is so obvious, Ghost could kick themself for not realizing it sooner. Of course the Seer would hide from a vessel, now. For all she knows, they could be their sibling, but even if she has no knowledge of the Pale King’s plans, of course she’d hide from someone close to the king.

They have no voice to explain otherwise. Somehow, Ghost gets the feeling she won’t stick around long enough for them to sign anything, and even if she did, she wouldn’t know their signs! Only they, their sibling (who Ghost stubbornly refuses to refer to even mentally as Hollow, because they are not) and to a limited extent, their mother understand their signs.

They can’t exactly write an explanation, either.

Maybe they can steal the Dream Nail? They would feel kind of bad, but it’s for a good cause and they can always just give it back once they’ve dealt with the Radiance, however they’re dealing with the Radiance. That might be their best option at the moment, actually, but what if the Seer attacks them?

What if she attacks Hornet?

They reach up to their horns, disentangling the tiny presence there that had just begun to purr. Internally, they apologize for setting her down.

“Ghostie? Where you going?”

I’m sorry. I’ll be right back. They pat her on the head and pull out a charm: Nailmaster’s Glory, no longer in Sly’s possession and unlikely to be returned to Sly’s possession anytime soon. Ghost places it in her tiny grasp and closes her grip around it.

“Keep dis safe?”

Ghost nods.

“Like Ghost keep safe?”

Their shoulders sag, but they still nod.

“I’ll be right back,” they sign, even though it will be a very long time before she understands half of what they say around her. Somehow, somehow, Hornet seems to understand.

“Back soon,” Hornet says impatiently. That, Ghost nods to much more forcefully, and then they turn and run.

They do not find the Seer, though not for lack of searching. Unfortunately, they cannot fit into all the tiny spaces they could when smaller. After they’ve looked through what feels like the entirety of the Resting Grounds, they eventually give up and return to where they left Hornet. They can’t help but be relieved when they see her there, sitting on the lip of a tombstone, swinging her lowest set of legs back and forth without a care in the world.

“Ghost!” Hornet cheers once she sees them. “Wanna show something!”

Ghost nods wordlessly, and kneels in front of her. Hornet chrrs in concentration. She reaches back into thin air, but there’s something shiny in her grip. The charm they left with her, perhaps? No, that’s in her other hand, and honestly, Sly never kept it in as good of condition as they did.

Then pink light erupts from her back hand. Familiar pink light, in the unfamiliar form of a needle. For a few, brief moments, Ghost is the closest to truly hollow they’ve ever been from the utter confusion radiating from them.

What the fuck, they think as Hornet swings.

The Dream Nail—Dream Needle now, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, passes through them harmlessly. It tickles, actually. Apparently learn what the Dream Nail feels like on the receiving end is something they can cross off their bucket list, although there’s a distinct funny feeling after. If they didn’t know what it was and what it did, they would have assumed the Dream Needle was merely a trick of the light.

But they found the Dream Nail. Hornet has the Dream Nail. Needle. Of course it would take the form of a needle for her. Has she even seen a real needle yet?

Hornet blinks innocently up at them and says, cheerfully, “Fuck!”

Their sibling finds them on the outskirts of the City of Tears, nail strapped to their back in the same way Ghost’s stick is. Free from prying eyes, they cross their arms and tap their foot impatiently, as if expecting an explanation.

Ghost signs, Not sorry.

“Holly!” Hornet crows from her perch atop Ghost’s horns.

Holly… that’s actually a name Ghost can get behind, for their sibling. As usual, Hornet is the best at names, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

“Hello, little sister,” Holly signs back, having apparently deemed Hornet safe enough. Even if she isn’t, who would look at Holly next to ghost and honestly assume that they weren’t hollow either?

The Pale King sure wouldn’t, and right now, that’s all that matters.

Hornet doesn’t understand a word they’re signing. Dream Needle tucked carefully in her dress, she proudly proclaims, “FUCK!”

Holly looks at Ghost. Ghost shrugs helplessly.

“We don’t even have a sign for that. How?”

Ghost shrugs again, because they don’t have a sign for the explanation either.

Holly sighs. They resume their typical, supposedly hollow stance. “Let’s go home.”

The White Palace is not home to Ghost. It never has been, and it never will be. But when Holly extends a hand to them, they take it.

The Pale King’s reaction, once they return, is glorious. And he can’t even really blame Ghost, because no fucking voice to cry suffering, asshole! No voice to teach their little sister to curse, either! Of course, he blames them anyway, but it’s the principle of the matter.

And no matter who he blames, it doesn’t change the fact that Hornet has a new favorite word, and it’s going to be echoing through the palace for weeks. Maybe it’ll drive him crazy. Maybe it’ll distract him from Hornet’s newest toy.

Ghost knows where the Dream Nail is now, but that’s just the beginning. They still haven’t seen anything of the Godseeker. Without the Godseeker, how the—to quote their favorite sister—fuck are they going to find the Radiance?

There’s much to think about. And they’re slowly, oh so slowly yet oh so quickly, running out of time.

At least they have Hornet scandalizing nearly every adult in the White Palace in the meantime.

( @tangelojack )

( @idiotjuicyy )

( @dovalore, https://twitter.com/dovalore )

( @lesiasmadness )

Lullaby Lament

Nothing was ever off limits to the princess of Deepnest. The fact that she hasn’t grown to be spoiled rotten was great testament to her graceful and collected nature.

“Only proves that she does take after my dear Wyrm,” thought the White Lady as she gently cradled Hornet. A little while ago the Gendered Child was carried by her collar into the garden by the Pale King, after an adventurous day in the Palace with her half brothers. The King didn’t give his wife many chances to figure out what exactly transpired that finally got all the little ones in trouble, but it definitely involved Grimm’s spawn setting something on fire and sweets. The queen allowed herself to giggle softly now that her sweetheart was out of sight, her branches shaking a bit, causing the child in her hands to move a bit in her sleep, only having drifted off recently. Silence finally filled the White Palace, a rare occurrence nowadays, as Hollow was sent to his fathers office to wait for his disciplining, Grimmchild was tossed into the troupe masters hands like a naughty kitten to his owner, and Ghost ran off somewhere, no doubt to resurface soon and unite with his new found nightmare spawn friend. But for a short while, all was quiet.

Hornet brought a new kind of chaos to the Palace. Something the White Lady should have expected, but couldn’t have predicted the feelings it would invoke. Hornet was an actual kid. Unlike the two vessels who could, as soon as they hatched, climb their way up the ledges most adults would struggle with, the Gendered Child needed to be cradled and fed, supervised at all times. In other words, she was vulnerable. Anything happening in her sight left a mark on her, and seeing those changes filled the queens heart and mind with fascination and worry at the same time.

The first time Herrah brought her little one to a meeting, the baby wouldn’t stay quiet, and despite all the disruption it caused, the White Lady wanted them to stay for as long as possible. For the first time in many years, she heard a child’s laughter. Ever since that day, any time Feral shook his shoulder indicating a mischievous chuckle, the queen's mind goes back to that moment.

Not a sprout of envy ever rooted itself in the White Lady’s heart. It didn’t even cross her mind until Dryya asked if she might be resentful of the Deepnest’s queen for getting to hear her daughter’s voice, while she didn’t even know how it felt to hear “mom” once. Her answer was that Herrah would never feel the same euphoria that came over White Lady when she finally figured out how to speak to her child with their hands,

seeing them sign, “happy! happy! happy!” over and over. The joys of motherhood came in many unpredictable ways, and the journey would never be the same for any two families. But despite the differences, and despite almost never speaking to each other aside from diplomatic affairs, the two queens understood each other in the feelings that plagued them at every waking hour. First, it was a desperate desire to have an offspring of their own. Perhaps that understanding was why, upon hearing the request to have the king’s child, the White Lady agreed even before her husband did. Then, another feeling resonated between the two. Constant, cold dread. Dread of their time with their children running out. It might take years before the time came for Hollow to step into his role of being a sacrifice to the kingdom. But even now, there wasn’t a moment when Herrah’s heart didn’t ache, not for herself being deprived of both life and death, as a Dreamer, but for her daughter being left on her own. At least White Lady will get to nurture the feral vessel even after Hollow is reduced to a living gravestone. But even then, the queen would soon lose her only link to the child. As every new sign they learned together only reminded her of how fast her vision was weakining...

“Root lady!”

The queen’s wandering thoughts scattered like a flock of startled maskflys. She hadn’t noticed Hornet opening her eyes a few moments earlier.

“Have I disturbed your slumber with my light, little princess?” “Nu! I’m not sleepy. I didn’t sleep! Imma go play with Ghost.”

Ghost tried to pull the same bluff sometimes, as if the letters on his paper didn’t trail off the borders, turning into a crooked line ending where his quill lay as he dozed off right there on the table, sometimes right in his mother’s lap.

“Oh? You’re not sleepy at all? Goodness, Ghost must have been running way more than you today” - The queen made an exaggerated confused expression.

“No! I run more! And faster! Ghost can never catch me.”

To much of Hollow’s confusion, Ghost often play-raced with his little sister, and always lost on purpose. Something he suspected was that she didn’t get much slack back home, as it wasn’t customary in Deepnest to go easy on anyone, even if it’s to humor a child. No doubt once she’s old enough to train with a nail, she’ll know just how much building character is prioritised over mercy in those lands.

“That can’t be right,” - The White Lady put a hand to her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. - “They surely are more tired. How can it be that Ghost is already asleep, but Hornet isn’t even sleepy?”

“Ghost sleeps now? Bleh, baby.”

“Maybe little Hornet should sleep a little too. Your mother is talking to the king about important things, but they are taking a longer time because, can you imagine? While they were having a meeting, some kids made a fire in the palace!”

The humm of the garden filled with Hornet’s chiming laughter, as she flailed her tiny feet a little bit in amusement.

“That’s Ghost! Me, too. We made sticky sweets!”- the little spider announced proudly, showing her hands, still covered in bits of burnt marshmallow.

“Really?” “Ye! The flying... The flying bug... Lilpet made fire with his mouth!” “Lilpet?” “Ghost’s Lilpet. They can fly and have pretty eyes.”

After a few seconds, the queen deciphered that Hornet gave Grimmchild that name hearing her mother call it “Ghost’s little pet.”

“Ah, I understand. Do you like them? “Lilpet makes soft sounds. I like them more than sounds at home.”

From Dryya’s tales, the White Lady knew that from every tunnel in Deepnest you could hear the hissing of its wilder residents. Although she’d expect living there would make one numb to such sounds. However, the only noise in the White Palace was the one kids caused. Perhaps the difference is playing with Hornet’s ears. Hornet liked it in the Palace. So many spaces for her to climb and stick her silk to, and brothers to look after her, who would always find a way to catch up, even on the ceiling, getting them to chase her was almost its own game. Besides, she’s never forbidden from doing anything, as Herrah wouldn’t let the king boss her child around, thus White Lady being the only one he cpuld turn to to tame the rambunctious child. At home, she’s probably running wild as well. Herrah had no reason nor will to restrict her child from anything that’s not dangerous. She wanted to spend what little time she had left seeing her little daughter curious, free, and happy. So causing chaos at home wasn’t nearly as fun as raising the roof of the palace, though, as she won’t get the same reaction she gets from the Pale King. And having an accomplice in Ghost makes it double the fun.

The noisy mischief those two cause amused the queen every time, but the moments of quiet the two share are much more precious. Ghost would often try to teach their sister their signs, and being young and clever, she picks them up no problem, although the learning process resembled charades. Hornet is often Ghosts voice, and she cheers as much as the vessel does once they manage to communicate something to servants in the castle or the knights. Watching her child indulge in the process of teaching others the same way she does warmed their mother’s heart.

“...When will mom co-...?” - Hornet yawned mid-word.

“They need some more time, little princess. But I heard sleeping makes time go faster.”

“You made that up!”

“My-my, you are a clever child! People can tell you a lot of lies, but you can ask your mom if what I said was true.”

“I can’t ask her now.” “We’ll just have to wait then, huh. ... Or you could try and see for yourself“ “But I can’t sleep. I’m not tired!”

“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?” “What is lulby?”

“A special song they sing to princesses when they can’t sleep.” “You made that up again!” “Well, I won’t sing it then.” “No, I wanna hear!”

“Lie down and close your eyes then.”

The queen wrapped her hands around Deepnest’s princess, dimming her glow, and a soft hum soon crept just at the edges of Hornet’s hearing. It grew into a melody, and somehow, a song, although the sounds weren't like words at all, they resembled ringing, resonating with the sound of the garden, and the specks of white glow seemed to dance to their tune. The pale beings song was not in any language, but the meaning of its lines Hornet would carry in her memory long after, and years later she’d put them into words she could actually sing herself.

Twist the spindle Round and round Princess sleeps Don’t make a sound Born of three

And left with none Stop the spindle thread is done.

In the darkness

Far below

Wishing star

Is born to glow

Thread by thread

The star has sawn Silky web

they’ll call their own

Soon came spring To be her guest

Gave her life Then left to rest Summer came Was brief and sad left behind

A cloak of red Autumn took The lone star in Made her strong Fit to be queen Winter shook The web star made Soon two bugs Came for her aid Hide the bugs

In her cocoon Safe from winter

Pale as moon Twist the spindle Round and round Princess sleeps Don’t make a sound Born of three And left with none Stop the spindle thread is done.

To the gentle hum of the song Herrah found her daughter sleeping in White Lady’s hands. No words were exchanged between them as she gently took Hornet and held her close, the little princess will soon be home.

( @huntersapprentice )

( @astronomicartz )

( @brimal-baspid )

#hollowknight #hollow knight #telephoneknight #otherart #otherfic #shitlordau #fanart #giftcorner #this one started off angst #but then went super wholesome #which i dont mind #long post #lets see if this one breaks tumblr mobile too #noticeablepronouns

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shoutoismybaby · 4 years

Text

Omega Shame Part 2

Part 1 / Part 3

Thank you guys for all your interest! It made me super happy to see so many people excited about my writing, so I hope you enjoy and stay tuned for the last part soon!

Warnings: Angst, depression, mentions of fighting (bc hero training)

***

The classroom didn't smell right. Not only was your serotonin inducing scent the class had gotten accustomed to in the past couple months missing, but a certain caramel smell had a hint of burnt rubber and ash to it. Despite some of the girls hearing commotion coming from your room, you didn’t answer their calls or knocks, so no one knew what was going on. The only knowledge the class had was that you weren’t in class and Bakugou was upset. Well, more upset than he usually was.

Even his best friends, whether or not he would admit that’s what they were to him, would earn growls and bared teeth if they got too close. Other than that though, Bakugou was generally unresponsive. Only caring when people got too close, but he didn’t respond when Aizawa called on him, or when the lunch bell rang. Only shoving the teachers hand off his shoulder when he came to check up on the blond.

Bakugou was just too caught up in his thoughts to really be aware of his surroundings as he followed his class aimlessly to the cafeteria.

Even though his body was in the P.E Training grounds, his brain was back in time to your dorm room. Back when your body began to tremble at the sight of him, the way salty tears rushed from your eyes when he started to speak. Your throat squeaking as you begged him to spare the nest you had constructed. It was beautifully made, if you had asked him. The way your soft blankets were woven together with your favorite weekend clothes, pillows being used to stable the walls. It looked incredibly comfortable.

Bakugou knew that Omegas could get upset if their nest was intruded without permission. But he also knew he was nowhere near your circular haven. Yet, you were crying, shaking, and begging.

It was then that it dawned on the hothead that you were scared of him. His omega was Terrified of him. It made his heart beat erratically, how could he make someone he cared about so scared of him? Especially his own omega. It was his job to keep you safe, to take care of you and make sure you were comfortable. You trusted him to fulfill this role, but you thought he was going to destroy your nest?

It made Bakugous’ buzz in confusion. It made no sense that you would be freaking out just because your alpha walked in your room.

Unless you weren't even his omega by choice. What if you just accepted his courting gift because you were afraid he would hurt you? He had been told multiple times throughout his life that he needed to stop being so aggressive, that he would scare omegas away, but he had always brushed those comments off. He had thought that he would find someone who liked him despite his anger, and he thought you were that person.

Clearly, though, you were too fearful of him to even reject his proposal. Your trembling body inside of your nest was undeniable proof of that. You were too scared to even tell him you were nesting, and if the sight was evidence enough you didn’t seem to have or want his scent anywhere close to your nest. He should have noticed it before. What kind of alpha scared those they were supposed to protect?

You probably just got off of your meds to make him happy too. You had made so many sacrifices to keep him happy, and the thought of that made his blood boil. He had been a terrible alpha to you. He had to end this, he couldn’t put you through anymore pain. His inner alpha cried at the thought of having hurt you.

His large hand moved towards his opposite wrist, gently shimmying the bracelet that sat on it off. It was your courting gift to him, since you insisted on making him something in return. It was simple, made of skillfully twisted threads in his hero costume colors. His heart had skipped a beat the moment you presented it to him, not that he would tell anyone that. Especially not now, not when all the memories he shared with you were put into perspective.

He remembered how it felt as though the threads burnt his skin on its way past. How it dragged his heart down with it as it fell to the floor. Since then, he felt numb to the outside world. It didn’t matter how many times Kirishima tried to get him involved in their 1-1 match, he mostly just stood there, letting his instincts do the bare minimum to protect his body.

“Come on man!” His body dodged another hit just enough before slacking again, causing the redheaded alpha to growl. “You’re not responding to anything and you smell, honestly bad bro. What’s going on with you!?”

The only thing “going on” in Katsuki’s brain was replaying the pain in your eyes over and over. Replaying how you were scared, no, terrified of the person who was supposed to protect you. His omega wasn’t his omega anymore, and his alpha felt broken. He felt alone.

He could only focus on how he failed to do his basic duties. How he failed you. Everyone had been right when they critiqued his anger. He was too aggressive to deserve an Omega. Clearly he couldn’t treat one right no matter how much their smile made serotonin speed through his brain. If he couldn’t protect you from himself it was ridiculous to think he would do anything but fuck up protecting Japan from villains. He was a terrible alpha who couldn’t even treat an Omega properly, so what was the point? He wasn’t even good at his innate purpose.

By now Kirishima was getting desperate. All day his best friend had been growing more and more despondent, and he was scared for what that meant. He just needed Bakugou to talk to him, Kirishima wanted to be reassured that he was okay. And he had an idea of how to pull Bakugou back into the present, even if he didn’t like it.

“I don’t want to do this but, I’m really worried about you. Bakugou is this about (Y/n)?” The blondes alpha perked up at the mention of your name, drawing Bakugou’s head up with it.

“The girls said something happened in (Y/n)’s room last night and,” He hesitated, ruby eyes falling to Bakugou's large wrists. “You’re not wearing the courting bracelet she made for you anymore”

His words caused a whimper to leave Katsukis throat. Kirishima had no idea what kind of pain that reminder brought to Bakugou, but he could guess. The way the blonds hands clenched and brows furrowed made Kirishima's heart drop, he hated bringing up things that could hurt Katsuki. But he could only fix the problem if he knew what was wrong, and for that he needed Bakugou to talk to him.

“Did, did you guys break up?” Kirishima kept his distance, afraid of what Bakugou would do once he snapped out of his trance. But all Bakugou did was begin to shake, blinking furiously as he became aware of his surroundings once again along with the hot tears that flooded his eyes. Kirishima ran towards his friend then, placing a hand on the other alphas shoulder in a hope to be any bit comforting without overwhelming his friend. He analyzed the way Bakugous nose scrunched, causing his large canines to show as the first sob burst out of his trembling frame. It was so powerful that the blond lost his balance, falling into the stunned redheads arms. Face tucked into his friends chest, shielded from the attention his sobs were bringing from his entire class.

“Bakugou…” Kirishima ran his hands up and down Bakugous back gently feeling the way the blond fisted his shirt in desperation, “What happened? You can tell me.”

“I’m a terrible alpha,” Bakugous voice was shaky and Kirishima almost felt guilty at how relieved he was to hear it. “No you’re not man, wha-” “Yes I am!” Bakugous voice reached the same volume as his sobs that interrupted his speech. “She thought that I was going to destroy her nest, she was scared of me. I was supposed to defend her when really I’m the one she wanted protection from.”

Krishima didn’t know how to respond to what his friend said. Eyes too wide in confusion as he looked towards his teacher for answers. You had always been absolutely smitten with Bakugou, just his presence in the room made it seem like you radiated love and positivity. It didn’t seem that Bakugou needed any further encouragement to continue though, as his next statement sent ice down the spines of the whole class.

“I failed as an alpha… I don’t want to be alive anymore.” All Bakugou wanted to do in that moment was curl up and die. He didn’t have a purpose anymore, so he didn’t see the point of existing. It was then that his body seemed to shut back down in order to conserve energy, he began to slack in Kirishima's arms leaving him sitting on the ground despite the redheads' many protests. The revelation of how his best friend felt bringing tears to his own eyes, and a recognition to his teachers.

“Aizawa, what's happening to Bakugou?” Kirishima asked, struggling to hold himself together as he knelt in front of his friend. Bakugou’s eyes seemed more void of life than ever as he stared aimlessly at Kirishima's shirt.

“Someone call Recovery Girl, I fear that Bakugou has developed an Alpha depression.”

***

Tag List:

@pasteldana-blog @fandomtrash1616 @cyntinaaa @my-neighbor-todoro @anime-weeb-bnha @professionalreblogs @thenerdyrebel @weeb-reading-trash @procrastinatingmurder @myherotrashbin @spicyfoodboi @tspice283 @inumorph @rubyreds-stuff @mscarterakaviola98 @arcticsakura

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha omegaverse #bakugou katsuki x reader #alpha bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #mha omegaverse

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angelicyoongie · 4 years

Text

desolate (12)

— summary: you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so, you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

— pairing: cat hybrid yoongi x human reader

— genre: angst, fluff, smut

— word count: 5.1k

— tag list: @mrcleanheichou @ladymidnightt @cheese123344 @xanny91 @dinorahrodriguez @best-space-boy @dulcaet @moccahobi @keijaycreates @staytrillswag @xsmilebitesx @serendipityoreuphoria @jiminot7 @beyond-the-swag @nananaum1 @mult1wh0re @faithsummers11 @twomilkmen-gocomedy @theonewholovestoread @karissassirak @veryuniquenamegoeshere @yourlipssoirresistible @ayoo-bangtan @murderyoursoul @btsxdoll @see3milyblog @gukiyi @mtgforall @narcissism-iskey @sp3ak-yours3lf @cesthoney @imluckybitches @hd-junglebook @sugarrimajins @btstxtgenre @multifandomgirl29 @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @bangtansleftnut @theresa-nam-nam-me @angeltothecore @ghostkat23 @deathkat657 @awixxx @httpmedxsa @veronawrites @bubbletae7 @serious-addiction @chogiyeol-utopia @nomimits7 @lorielulu7 @1am9root6 @sana-b @diamonddia-mond @jiminiessipabo @myhearttteu @rainbowmagicpixecorn @lidda @rosiethefairy @lovinggalaxies @midnight1199 @trinityautumn @linniewritesficz @fearhoshi @ess-place @juniesoftbot @kingalls00 @toribug2020 @daydreambrliever @moonlight-mochi @sleepyje0n @yoonie-bby @alltimeyoongi @honestlyfuriousharmony @itsoktheresbts @suzziequeuie @miss–insanity @illnevertrustmyselfagain @annoyingpessimist @lovelikeyouwant @originalpersonawobblerduck @cigarettes-after-tears @kookie-vuitton @thefangirlsoul @lmna990 @luvshorses08 @nanananisstuff @marvelstuck @kissmeimwitchy @crazyxforxmyself @hxsxxk-180294 @ratking101 @brittaney341 @shameless-army @yuukihime2097 @adoorinyourheart @heimdoodle @kissing-fear @toripeix @horanghae18 @redperson58 @awsome-small-k @salomea27 @johnnystolemywig @mihto @jisoosbitch @lyrxbz @forever-once-gone @sugalarity @out-of-jams @ithinkileftmycoatoutside @witchxlove @chocoflagcutii @alyboo-jpeg @ladyartemesia @tatiiz24 @boinko-boye @kaceyxmarie74 @fuckthatfeeling @makepastanotwar13 @airiguk @justliketheoceann @strawbewymiwk @skswriting @kofikats @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @mhmbrigitta @forever-yoongis @prybts @phatbussyincorporated @itsmethepancake @alterlovess @boredoomfm @furblrwurblr @moments-of-melancholy @barbikatherine @crookedstarlitnight @moonlightjoonx @ibsenova-nora @aphroditis-world @ramaali1 @inhalebts

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten (M) Part eleven Part thirteen Part fourteen (M)

”Cat hybrid?” You squeak.

”Yes. Forgive me for not knowing his name–“ Mr. Yang pauses, looking at you expectantly. Yoongi’s name tumbles out of your lips before you can stop yourself, your co-worker’s kind face making it hard to keep your guard up. And if Mr. Yang is really the one who orchestrated the breaches, shouldn’t that be enough to trust him?

“–Yoongi, I see. It was Ki-woo that alerted me about him,” Mr. Yang nods his head in the hybrid’s direction, “He picked up Yoongi’s scent once when he came up to fix Jihyo’s computer a while back, but he couldn’t quite figure out why it was so familiar.”

“While I must say I was surprised to learn that you had a cat hybrid’s scent lingering on you when you hadn’t adopted one, it made more sense once Ki-woo realized where he had smelled him before,” Mr. Yang says, a sad smile forming on his lips.

“You see .. Ki-woo’s old owner was a police officer. And a corrupt one at that,” Ki-woo hangs his head, his long hair falling forward to hide his face as your gaze flickers uncertainly back and fourth between the two men. “Ki-woo was forced to join as his hybrid companion, and I’m sure you’re aware of how that usually turns out.”

Your heart sinks.

You are. You’ve assisted multiple cases like Ki-woo’s before. Sadly, it’s all too common that the police officers that don’t care much for their hybrids force them to become their companions – which is honestly just a glorified term for a human shield. You’ve lost count over how many hybrids you have had to defend from their owners who believed that it was the hybrid’s job to protect them and risk their life for them. The blatant disrespect they have for other people’s life makes your stomach turn. There are of course always a few officers who treat their hybrids as partners and not companions, but those are too far and few in between. The fact that Ki-woo got a bad one doesn’t surprise you in the slightest, and that’s a horrifying thought.

“Ki-woo assisted him on multiple aspects of the job, but especially when it came to well.. losing evidence,” Mr. Yang sighs.

“A hybrid never forgets a s-scent, and that’s why I was so s-shocked when I realized that I could recognize the s-smell on your things,” Ki-woo glances up at you nervously, tongue quickly swiping over his lips. ”The last time I had s-smelled that was when I was helping my old owner burn a box of evidence for a murder case. I couldn’t figure out why that s-scent would be lingering on anything after s-so many years, but it would make s-sense if they were .. related.”

So, Yoongi must share the same scent as his mom, or at least a part of it. “But that all happened so long ago, and you don’t look that much older than me?”

Ki-woo swallows hard. “I’m not. I s-started working as a companion when I was fifteen.” That makes your blood boil. If he had been forced into such a dangerous and terrible position while he was still a child – you really don’t want to know what his life outside of work looked like. You can’t imagine he was taken good care of.

“I’m sorry,” You say. While it can’t do anything to change what has already happened, it still needs to be said. Someoneneeds to say it. Ki-woo gives you a small nod in return.

“But why do all of this? What do you gain from it?” You turn your attention back to Mr. Yang, the older man resting against the edge of a nearby desk.

“Justice,” He says. “There are too many cases that get swept under the rug and forgotten, and the hybrids involved deserved better. They deserve that someone cares.”

“Luckily we aren’t the only ones who think that. Social media has been a big help when it comes to demanding retrials – there’s strength in numbers, and it’s amazing how just a little heat can make someone slip up and expose something they were supposed to keep quiet about,” You find yourself nodding along to Mr. Yang’s words. There had been a significant surge in retrials for hybrids over the last couple of years, and most got ruled in favour of the hybrid the second time. To think that your own co-worker was behind all of that ..

“It can’t be just you two?”

The wrinkles around Mr. Yang’s eyes deepen as he chuckles. “Goodness no, we’re a big organization. But myself and Ki-woo have been involved for a long time.” That makes sense. They seem to know what they’re doing if your boss, or anyone else for that matter, hasn’t caught on to them yet.

“It was just a pure coincidence that the case of Yoongi’s relative was picked along with the others – they were chosen long before Ki-woo even smelled him on your things. But seeing as you’re here, I’m guessing you have some information that might be valuable to the case?” Mr. Yang watches you carefully, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

You’ve already come to the conclusion that you can’t help Yoongi alone. You have no power, no connections – but it seems like Mr. Yang and Ki-woo’s organization certainty has those. It can’t hurt to try.

“The cat hybrid was Yoongi’s mom,” You pause, the next words balling up at the tip of your tongue. Saying it out loud would make it real, so don’t– “and my old neighbour.” Surprise flickers across Mr. Yang’s face, but it seems to pass just as quickly, his face schooled back into a gentle encouraging smile.

“Mr. Park sold him off when he was young, and he didn’t even know his mom had passed away until he saw the news report. I had no idea that the neighbour’s cat was actually a hybrid either, I never saw her shifted,” You slowly dig your hands into your thighs, welcoming the burn as you rush through your next word, “I was eight, I didn’t know any better – I just thought his cat had suddenly passed away. I-I helped him .. bury her.”

A sudden hush falls over the room after your confession, your eyes glued to the floor. Does this make you a murderer too? What if they don’t want to help Yoongi now? Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything–

“Y/n,” Mr. Yang’s voice is firm, and you feel yourself shrink automatically, your shoulders nearly touching your ears. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t your fault. Like you said, you were eight. You were a child; you didn’t know what was truly going on. You’re not to blame for anything.”

You let out a shuddering sigh, blinking furiously to remove the tears clouding your vision. You’re not sure you fully believe him, but it’s still comforting to hear. It gives you the chance to at least pretend Yoongi won’t loathe you completely once you tell him.

“I don’t really know if our connections to the case is any help but he’s – we’re desperate to do something. I want to help him, but there’s not much I can do on my own,” You confess.

“Based on what you just told me, I believe we might already have everything we need to make a strong case against Mr. Park,” Your eyes snap up to meet Mr. Yang’s, your hopeful heart almost skipping a beat.

“Really?” He nods.

“Of course, we would still need to gather more evidence – but if you can act as a witness and point out where it happened, that would help the case tremendously,” Mr. Yang says. “We also need to prove that Mr. Yang sold hybrids illegally, and so if Yoongi wants, then his testimony would also be a big help.”

“I’ll .. ask him,” You know Yoongi will do it, but that’s what worries you. If he chooses to testify in court, his old owner will be alerted about it. You have no doubt that he’ll show up to claim Yoongi back, and then he’ll have no choice but to leave. And if Yoongi has escaped once, then his old owner will probably make sure that won’t happen again. You swallow down the bile that’s building up in your throat. Even though the idea scares you to bits, it’s not your decision to make.

“Good,” Mr. Yang smiles. Your gaze flickers back to Ki-woo, the hybrid already frowning before you meet his gaze. Crap. He can probably smell how upset you are.

“What kind of hybrid are you?” You blurt out, desperate to shift his attention over to something else. “You don’t really have any obvious characteristics.”

“Oh um, that’s kind of the point, it makes it easier to blend in,” Ki-woo grimaces. “I’m a lizard hybrid.” That at least explains why he had what looked like scales on his neck, and why he was so cold, but .. “Your tail?” You trail off, gesturing to his very empty back.

“I s-shed it,” His words makes your eyes grow wide. He does what?

“It doesn’t hurt,” He quickly adds, “Well. Not that much at least. But it just makes it easier to pass as human. I suppose I’m luckier than most hybrids in that regard,” He shrugs, but you can tell from the heavy weight he seems to have on his shoulders that it affects him more than he likes to let on.

“Ki-woo’s a free hybrid,” Mr. Yang supplies, “It was a long and difficult process to make it happen, but that’s what our organization is here for.” An ownerless hybrid. It’s honestly a very recent concept; the first free hybrid won his rights less than a decade ago.

The process is tedious and expensive, and most owners aren’t willing to go through it. After all, that would make their hybrids seem human, which the vast majority still believes they aren’t. Pets, were the term you most often heard when owners talked about their hybrids. We got a new pet. But it’s all just an easy excuse to tell themselves so that their abuse doesn’t seem as horrible.

“That’s amazing,” You say. You can’t help but think about Yoongi. How badly he deserves to be his own person, and to not be constantly hunted by his own past. Seeing a hybrid in the flesh that is actually ownerless just makes it more real, more doable, and there’s suddenly nothing you would like more than to make it happen for him. You will make it happen.

Mr. Yang nods, a thoughtful smile on his face. “I think it’s time for you to go home, Y/n. I believe you have quite a few things you need to discuss.”

“I’ll do it,” Yoongi says, his sharp eyes leaving no room for argument. You had barely even managed to finish your explanation before he agreed to testify.

“Yoongi ..” You mumble, your fingers picking nervously at the hem of your shirt. “What if he shows up? I can’t stop him from taking you back.”

Yoongi open his mouth just to shut it again, the muscles in his jaw working as his gaze flickers around the living room. He finally sighs, his dark cat ears pressing flat against his head as he says, “Then let him take me.”

“What?” You stare at him in disbelief, your heartbeat stuttering painfully in your chest. “Do you really mean that?”

Yoongi swallows hard, the skin around his thumb picked raw. “Yeah. As long as I can lock that fucker away, I don’t care what happens to me.” You bite down hard on your lip to keep quiet. You want to protest – want to beg him to reconsider and stay here with you, where he’s safe. But you can tell his mind is already set, and you can’t let your own selfish needs come before Yoongi’s wishes. And even if you begged, you doubt he’ll want to stay with you for much longer anyway. Tell him, an insistent voice in the back of your mind whispers. Tell him.

So you do.

“There’s something else,” You wince, “something you need to know.” As if Yoongi can sense your hesitation, he reaches forward to grab your hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

“Take you time kitten.” Yoongi could’ve just as well punched you straight in the gut, the term of endearment making your eyes burn. I don’t deserve you.

“I didn’t realize until yesterday, I had no idea any of this was going on until we saw the news report but .. do you remember the cat I told you about? Fluffball, my neighbour’s old cat that you reminded me so much of?” Yoongi nods, his head tilted in confusion as you draw in a shaking breath.

“My old neighbour was Mr. Park,” Yoongi’s hand tightens painfully around yours, your fingers growing white from the pressure, “And Fluffball, the cat that suddenly got sick and passed away, was .. your mom.” Your voice is barely above a whispers as you get to the last word, but you have no doubt that Yoongi hears you clear as day, the stricken expression on his face telling you everything.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Yoongi snatches his hand away as if he’s been burned; the sudden rush of blood reaching your fingertips making your hand throb as you pull it back into your lap. “I never saw any other cats around his home, and there was never any others after we buried her.”

“We?” Yoongi’s tail shoots up behind his back, his narrowed gaze pinning you to the couch, “What do you mean, ‘we’?”

“Not like that!” You blurt, horrified at your own poor choice of words. “I didn’t know she was a hybrid, I just thought she was a cat! I adored her, and I guess Mr. Park knew I was too young to know that something was off, so he let me hold a funeral for her when she passed,” You can’t bear to lift your gaze from your lap, even as the silence beings to stretch on. You can’t stomach to see the hatred you’re sure is plastered all over Yoongi’s face. “I really didn’t know, I’m so sorry,” You whisper.

“Why are you telling me this?” Yoongi says, his voice strained.

“Because I’ll need to testify as a witness. And I thought you deserved to hear it first,” You shove your trembling hands between your crossed legs, holding on to the fabric of your jeans for dear life.

“I .. I need some time alone,” Yoongi’s voice is bordering on a hiss as he gets off the couch. You don’t dare to look up until you hear your bedroom door slam shut, the sound echoing inside your small apartment.

It’s been a week, and you can still count on two hands how many times you’ve seen him. Yoongi hardly spends time in the same room as you, and if he does, it’s mostly just to grumble out a flimsy excuse before he leaves. You didn’t even realize just how well Yoongi had ingrained himself into your life before he began to pull away, the empty spaces left behind now more prominent than ever. Eating alone feels like a chore, and not even the mindless TV chatter in the background can fill the silence Yoongi’s mellow voice used to occupy. You don’t think you’ve ever slept so poorly before either, the lack of extra warmth and strong arms around your waist leaves you tossing and turning in bed all night. What makes it all feel even worse is knowing that Yoongi is in the next room over, that he’s so close, but also so far away at the same time. Yoongi asked for time, and that’s what you’re giving him, but hurts.

It hurts that it feels like he’s slowly distancing himself from you more and more with each passing day, and it hurts to know that it’s all your own fault. That you maybe could’ve saved him some of his suffering if you had paid a little more attention when you were younger. You can’t help but wonder if he regrets spending his rut with you, if he regrets ever stepping foot inside your apartment. If he wants to leave. And even if the thought makes your chest tighten – can you really blame him?

No.

But at the same time, you can’t help but hope that he’ll stay. Even if it’s selfish.

“Still nothing?” Jihyo asks carefully, her warm eyes peeking at you over her computer screen. It had actually been Mr. Yang’s suggestion to involve Jihyo, and you couldn’t be more thankful for it. If you didn’t have Jihyo to talk to, you probably would’ve exploded by now. Not only that, but you felt it was right to include her, especially when it was one of her old cases were broadcasted alongside Mr. Park’s.

You shake your head, your gaze moving back to rest on the unfinished document in front of you. Work has been hard to focus on with everything going on, and after your talk with Mr. Yang, it has all started to feel a little hopeless. Apparently the hits have never been random – no, the organization Mr. Yang is apart of apparently only targets firm that have purposefully foiled certain cases for monetary gain.

In other words, your boss has been in cahoots with officials to make sure that the cases that would soil either their own or their acquaintances’ names would fail, and that the represented hybrid would lose. Jihyo’s case was about a high standing member of your city that abused his hybrid, and the case was bulletproof – a sure win. At least it had been, up until your boss had to give it the final approval before send off. You suppose it makes sense now why the hybrid lost the case, if you boss was paid to make it happen.

You sigh, running your hands down your face in frustration. You’ve already given your statement to the lawyer and the police officer in charge for Mr. Park’s case, and both you and Yoongi have been chosen to testify in court. It seems like Mr. Yang managed to pull some strings and make sure Yoongi’s owner won’t be alerted until the day of the trial, so the only thing you can do is hope he won’t have time to show up to claim him back. So right now, the only thing you can do is wait. Wait to see if Yoongi is ever going to speak to you again, and wait for the trial to begin. Thankfully you’ll only have to deal with all of this uncertainty for another week; both you and Yoongi’s testimonies made sure they would have enough evidence to bring the case to trial much quicker than normal.

Your boss’ raised voice shakes you out of your thoughts, and you sink down so low in your seat that your butt is nearly touching the floor he stalks past your cluster of desks. You wearily watch his back until he enters his office, only getting back up when the door clicks shut and you deem it safe enough that he won’t suddenly pop back out. Your boss has been on edge ever since the news about the cases broke, but you’re pretty certain he’s more nervous about his own illegal involvement rather than the company being under fire for getting its systems breached. Logically you know that there isn’t anything tying you to the hacked cases, and it’s not like you’re the one who did it either, but still – even just your talk with Mr. Yang and Ki-woo is enough to keep the anxiousness festering in your stomach alive.

You do have something to hide after all, and you’re sure your boss won’t take too kindly to the fact that you’re the reason an old case he made sure would fail is getting a re-trial. Therefore, you’ve decided to stay out of his sight as much as possible, even just as a precaution. You rest your chin in your palm, eyes moving back to your screen only to read the same sentence over and over again. You have a feeling it’s going to be a long week.

You thrum your fingers nervously along the edge of your chair, praying that the small breakfast you had managed to force down earlier in the morning won’t make a surprise visit. You can feel someone glaring at the back of your head, obviously annoyed at the rhythmic tapping you’re making, but you can’t stop. At least if you’re moving them you can’t feel how badly they’re shaking.

You scramble to your feet as the judge enters the room, the sound getting sucked out of the room as he takes his place in front of the rest of the court. As the judge motions for everyone to take their places, you can’t help how your eyes stray to the opposite side of the room as you take your seat. The attorney’s assistant is whispering something under her breath, one of Yoongi’s ears turned in her direction while his gaze is fixed on the judge. His tail is curled around his waist, Yoongi’s pale hands running soothingly over his own dark fur.

You didn’t even get to wish him luck this morning; you had only managed to catch a glimpse of the door swinging closed behind him as Mr. Yang picked him up. Your co-worker had insisted on bringing him earlier to the courthouse to go through some of the details of the case, and you weren’t needed until the trial began. You allow yourself to look at Yoongi for another second, soaking in as much of his appearance as possible. This is the longest you’ve been able to look at him in the last two weeks. You swallow thickly as the judge clears his throat, the hollow ache in your chest leaving you feeling numb as you turn your attention to the officials in front of the room.

"We are here for the case of Mr. Park Geunho who is accused of the murder of his female cat hybrid Yoonsook, as well as illegal hybrid breeding and trading,” The judge motions for the guard to open a nearby door. The first thing that hits you is how much your neighbour has aged since you last saw him.

Your family moved away from your old neighbourhood a few years after what happened to Yoongi’s mom, and you haven’t seen him in the flesh since then. Despite his haggard appearance, there’s still that same animosity burning in his eyes as they swipe across the room. You see how his gaze lingers on Yoongi, a flicker of recognition passing over his face before he moves on. I often heard that I looked like my mom, Yoongi’s voice whispers in the back of your mind. Mr. Park’s eyes don’t seem to notice you however, but then, why would he? You were eight then, and a grown woman now. And you’re honestly thankful he doesn’t. Even just another ten minutes without those harsh eyes staring at you is more than fine.

The case passes by in a blur. Even though you’re sure you’re going to faint when you’re asked to give your testimony, you manage to get through it without too much stuttering. You don’t dare to turn to look at Mr. Park as you stand in front of the court, your eyes locked firmly on to the judge as you answer any questions thrown your way. But, you don’t need to look to feel the contempt radiating off him from across the room.

“Well done,” Mr. Yang mutters under his breath once you’re done, your co-worker having found a free seat next to yours. He wasn’t present at the beginning of the trial, but you suppose he must’ve been busy with something important. You give him a faint smile in return, your hands clasped firmly in your lap. You hoped that some of your nervousness would disappear once you were done, but as your heartbeat starts hammering away in your chest as Yoongi stands, you realize that maybe it weren’t yourself you were worried about.

Yoongi carries himself so confidently up to the stand that you almost would’ve believed that he wasn’t nervous if you didn’t know him any better. But you do. So, you notice how his ears seem to twitch around more than normal – how his fingers are digging into the wooden table in front of him. You see the back of Yoongi’s head turn slightly in Mr. Park’s direction, and you’re sure their eyes must have met by how Yoongi’s hands suddenly grow white and strained. He seems to be doing his best to keep his tail under control, you’re sure it would normally be trashing wildly by now. But instead, the tip of his tail only does a few agitated flicks before he turns his attention back to the officials in front of him.

Yoongi does really well. Not that you ever expected anything less, but it still amazes you how collected and calm he sounds when you know he must be dying to tear into Mr. Park. Yoongi tells the court about what he can remember of short time at Mr. Park’s, and how he was forcibly separated from his mom to leave with an unknown man. There are some details he’s never told you about before, and you can feel your anger steadily rising as he recounts them. It’s hard to gauge which party the court may be leaning in favour for, their blank expressions not really saying much, but you swear you see a flash of irritation crossing the judge’s face as Mr. Park’s lawyer tries to rebut something Yoongi says.

You let out a small sigh of relief as Yoongi is told to return to his seat – happy that he hopefully won’t have to face Mr. Park for much longer. Mr. Park’s face grows more and more aggravated as the trial goes on, obviously not pleased with the direction it seems to be going in. It feels like you’ve been stuck in the courtroom for days when the judge finally clears his throat, “The court will take a moment to discuss the final verdict, you may stay seated until we return shortly.”

You don’t dare to even move a muscle, too scared that even the tiniest movement will somehow affect the outcome of the trial. You hold your breath as the court finally returns, eyes glued to the judge as he takes his seat.

“Based on the overwhelming amount of evidence that has been presented to us here today, there is no doubt that the accused is–“ The judge moves his gaze to Mr. Park, “–guilty. Mr. Park Geunho, you are hereby sentenced to life in prison for the murder of the cat hybrid Yoonsook. In addition, you will be fined a hundred thousand dollars for illegal hybrid breeding and trading–“ The judge’s voice cuts off as the door to the court room slams open.

“Wait!” A hoarse voice calls out. You whip around in your seat to find an older man stomping through the room, his gaze seemingly locked onto .. Yoongi. Your stomach drops at the same time Yoongi seems to realize what’s going on, his panicked eyes finding yours. His owner.

You’re already half-way out of your seat when Mr. Yang grabs your arm, the sudden resistance making you stumble back into the chair.

“Not yet,” He shakes his head at your confused look, grip tightening to make sure you won’t move.

Yoongi’s owner stops near the front of the room, directly in front of the judge. He has a nasty scowl on his face as he gestures over to Yoongi, his fingers shaking, “Whatever he just told you is invalid! He’s my hybrid, and he can’t speak without his legal guardian by his side.” The man seethes.

“That little fucker ran away, I’ve been trying to track him down for months! If anything you should be punishing him for disobeying his owner.” No, no, no. Your hands are clammy with sweat, torn between staying put like Mr. Yang told you to, and the need to get up to knock Yoongi’s owner flat on his ass for daring to speak about Yoongi like that.

“Silence,” The judge’s voice cuts through the room, the expression on his face unfazed. Oh god, does this mean this happens a lot? Can he claim him back and turn his testimony invalid just like that? Your work ends when you hand in your files, so you have no idea about what actually happens when the cases go to trial. You’re regretting that a lot right now.

“You’re Mr. Min’s owner?” The man nods, still with a nasty curl on his lips. “So I take it you bought him from Mr. Park Geunho?” The judge asks.

The man puffs his chest out, as if it question is something to be proud of. “Sure did! So if you don’t mind, I’ll take my hybrid now and–“ The man takes a few steps towards Yoongi, the cat hybrid pressing himself back against his chair with a loud hiss as the outstretched hand in front of him comes closer.

“But I do mind.”

“What?” Yoongi’s owner spins back around, a dumbfounded expression on his face. “But he’s mine?”

“Not anymore, he isn’t,” The judge gestures for one of the guards to bring Yoongi’s owner the sheet of paper he had been looking at earlier, “As I was saying earlier, Mr. Park, you are not only found guilty of murder, but you will also be fined a hundred thousand dollars for illegal hybrid breeding and trading. This means that you will provide a list over all the hybrids you have sold, so that their ownerships can be nullified.”

“Once the ownerships are lifted, the buyers will be investigated for partaking in illegal activities.”

You turn to Mr. Yang with wide eyes, the older man releasing your arm with a kind pat. “Told you to wait,” He gives you a smug smile.

Yoongi’s owner takes an unsure step backwards, the scowl slipping on his face. “And that list seems to include you. Actually since you’re already here, you might as well sign those papers. I’ll make sure we’ll get it processed right away,” The judge motions for the guard to grab Yoongi’s owner, the man sputtering out excuses as he’s dragged into an adjacent room.

“Well then, I suppose there’s nothing more to say. Court dismissed.” The judge rises to his feet to leave the room, but pauses as his eyes find Yoongi, a brief smile grazing his lips, “Oh right! Mr. Min, if you would so kindly spare me a few minutes to meet in the next room over, we’ll discuss the nullification of your ownership –”

“With immediate effect, of course.”

- - - - Oh no .. Yoongi is now ownerless .. Whatever will y/n do ..

(Also I promise the angst will stop in the next chapter. Probably) And I know courts and trials don't work like this but it's fiction baby!! Also; Mr. Yang and Ki-woo best boys who only wants to help, and a few of you actually guessed what Ki-woo was very early haha! As always, i hope you’re all well and my inbox is always open if you want to chat about the story or just fics or life in general! See you all soon! In case you maybe enjoy my stories and want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here! 💖

#hybrid!bts #hybrid bts #cat hybrid yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #hybrid au #bts x reader #bts smut #bts fluff

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andilovetowrite · 3 years

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Chosen Couple (Part 3)

Peter Parker x Reader (The reader is an Avenger)

Summary- Peter and you have a movie night to celebrate the school year ending, but the night takes an unexpected turn. Suddenly, you wish you had never even gone to Peter’s house in the first place.

Warnings- Pretty bad angst, but then again, it’s my first time writing it, so I am open to comments and suggestions on how to improve it.

Posted: April 26, 2021

Word Count- 2.3k

Part 1 and Part 2

Feeling your face heat up, you read the card again and again. Could it be for you? Could Peter like you back? But you got your answer quite quickly.

“What are you doing?!” Peter asked, dashing to you, webbing the box shut.

“Uh, just checking out what was in the box…” you said, crossing your fingers behind your back. “Who’s it for Peter?”

He stared at you, and for a second, you thought he was going to say your name, tell you that he liked you back, tell you that he wanted to be more than friends. But it all went down the drain, and your heart sunk to your stomach when he blurted out. “MJ!”

“MJ?” you asked, feeling pieces of your heart tear into two. Peter looked shocked at what he said, eyebrows furrowed at the slight shake in your voice. But he couldn’t take it back now, could he?

“Y-yeah...uh, I.. um, like MJ, and I told Mr Stark the other day, and he helped me buy these things for yo-her”, he said, stuttering lightly. Maybe if you had paid attention, you would have seen the slight look of desperation on his face, but you were too busy trying to keep a neutral face.

“You told Tony before you told me?” you asked randomly, trying to mask the pain in your voice.

Again, Peter looked crestfallen, looking at the ground before nodding. “You know, because MJ is your best friend, and I thought that if you knew, you might tell her and she might reject me before I even could tell her how I feel” As Peter went on with the sentence, you could see his eyes start to shine a bit, and the small ball in your throat started to grow bigger, almost choking you.

You could feel a slight tingling in your stomach and hands, meaning your powers were beginning to become stronger. It usually happened when you were angry, but now, it made sense that it showed up whenever strong feelings were blowing up your mind. Numbly nodding, you picked up the beautiful copy of the book he had gotten her, now understanding.

You weren’t the only one who liked the book. MJ loved it as well. A couple of weeks ago, you two were chatting about it in the cafeteria, laughing and joking around, and then Peter had shown up, pulling you aside to ask you what was the title of the book that had you enamoured. Well, which had MJ enchanted. Putting it back down, you gulped, forcing a smile on your face. The air was uncomfortable for a couple of minutes, neither of you saying anything. Peter kept staring at the ground while you were blinking rapidly, trying to have a weak attempt at keeping the flow of tears threatening to burst out. Just as you were about to leave from the high tension, open the door and leave, the lights flickered back one by one, the TV’s sounds filling the room again.

“Um, do you want to finish movie night?” Peter’s voice asked from behind you, making you hesitate. You had two choices. You could either go home and cry under the comfort of your bed and then rant to Nat and Wanda about your conundrum, or you could suck it up and endure few more hours of torture, knowing that the last four years of your life spent on loving you best friend would be in vain…. See, you had never taken the easy way out in anything.

So you nodded at him, not saying a word as you slowly walked back to the sofa where you were just about to confess your feelings. Not even touching the blanket, on you and Peter earlier, you pulled your feet up, hugging your knees. Peter sat from across you, reaching out his hand as he might touch you but then pulling it back. You could hardly pay attention to the movie, which was probably the sixth one.

Instead, you focused on the clock, watching the minutes tick by slowly. Second by second. You knew him long enough to see that he wasn’t paying attention either. Any time you spared him a glance, he seemed far away, glassy-eyed and lost in thought. Just as the movie was ending, Peter asked out loud, his voice sharp and brittle.

“Why are you so weird?”

Looking at him properly for the first time since you opened the box, you were speechless. Why were you weird? Maybe because you thought you and Peter were close enough to share little things like crushes. Maybe you were mad that he could trust you with his life on the battlefield but not with his high school crush. Maybe you were furious that he went to Tony for help. Maybe because you thought that he and you were closer than him and Tony. Maybe because you were angry that he couldn’t just suck it up and tell you that he liked MJ. Perhaps because you liked him like he liked MJ, and just maybe because you thought that he wanted you like he liked MJ...

But you couldn’t tell that to him, so you just said back in an emotionless voice. “I’m not weird at all. Why do you think I’m weird?”

Not expecting you to beat around the bush, he answered back, hints of a frown showing up on his face. “Well, you haven’t said anything since I told you I liked MJ. Do you have some type of problem with her?” As soon as he finished, his face contorted into a frown as if he was in pain.

Shocked that he would even ask that, you shot back. “I don’t have any problem with MJ. Hell, she is my best friend. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me about this simple secret?”

He spat, answering me back as he stood up, towering over me. “What’s your problem?! Just cause I don’t tell you about my crush? Oh, and by the way, it’s not a simple little secret. I’ve loved her for years!” His jaw clenched lightly, slowly looking you in the eyes.

Shaking your head, you stood up, now standing the same height as him. “I’m don’t have a problem with anything. I just thought that you- uh…-”, gulping softly, you gaped at him, “Peter, why are you acting like this?”

Breathing heavily now, he glared at you, hate in his eyes, mixed with something you couldn’t make out. “Why are you acting like my mother Y/N?!”

“What the hell Parker? I could’ve helped you out. We’ve always done these things together”, you said, pushing out the words. Your stomach twisted as you said you would help him, curling with envy and jealously towards MJ.

“Oh yeah? Like how you asked for my help with Brad?”

Exasperated, you threw your hands up, light lavender light starting to show from your fingertips. “What is it with you and Brad? He’s a great guy!”

“Uh-huh, and that’s why you thanked me for launching you out of that problematic date of yours, right?”

Starting to feel tired and feeling the weight of your fight beginning to fall on you, you just gazed at him, trying to figure out why his face was red. “Is it because of the movie? Or the exams?”

“Y/N, I don’t know why you can’t just-”, going to sighed, hands running through his curls. The only time you had seen him this broken was when Tony had taken away his suit and when you came with him to find the Vulture. You took a deep breath, moving back from the couch. This was the first time you and Peter had ever fought on something so minute. So irrelevant. Something so damn hard to swallow for you. Peter clicked his tongue and then called out, fire laced in his words.

“Well, maybe it is because of the movie. You keep saying that you like Harry and have spent your whole life loving him as a... character, but now, judging from your glances at the screen, Ron’s the one you want, don’t you?”His eyes narrowed into tiny slits as he spoke.

“Oh yeah, and why’s that?” you asked accusingly, folding your arms over your chest.

“I don’t know? Maybe because you just have bad taste in men!” he said, sneering at you. Not once, ever in the six years you had known Peter did you see him sneer at you. But this only fueled the anger deep within your chest.

“Well, in that case, you probably don’t even like Hermione so much. You would like someone like Ginny Weasley! You tried to stop, but you couldn’t as you went on, airing all of your problems out.

“Oh wait, and your right, I do like Ron better. It’s because Ron is tall and cute, part of sports teams and oh yeah, he gets all the girls. He has experience with a girl, and I think that’s what makes him more interesting than Harry!” you said, knowing that the topic had gone off the movie long ago.

Peter almost looked hurt for a couple of seconds as you spoke of ‘Ron’, but then he clenched his jaw, face hardening. “Well, your right then! Ginny is the perfect girl. I mean, her life is smooth and secure, with family and friends surrounding her. Not like Hermione, whose parents don’t even care about her, let alone anyone else.”

As soon as Peter finished, you could feel the anger draining out of you, replaced by a blinding pain in your chest. You could see Peter’s eyes widen in realisation, softening apologetically. Letting out a long breath, you stood up, not wanting to let him see the tears welling in your eyes. “Why would you say that?”, You asked as you let out all the pent up energy, stress and emotions you had been holding in for the evening in one go. Picking up your phone, you began walking to the door, ignoring Peter’s calls behind you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” Peter said, calling out, his voice cracking towards the end. Gritting your teeth, you kept going. You were taught from a young age never to cry in public. You had kind of let that go with Peter, though. He was your best friend. You two used to talk about many things, about school, movies, family, friends. You had comforted Peter every year when his parent’s death anniversary came around. He was a shoulder to cry on when being an Avenger became just too much for you. But you had never cried because of Peter. Never but none because of your fight.

Oh, and coincidentally, that little piece of advice was given by your parents. Your parents who...left you. Almost forgot about you. Feeling a fresh new set of emotions burst through your mouth. Whirling backwards, you stared at Peter. He was standing in the middle of the hallway, almost hunched over under your vision. He glanced up at you, eyes bloodshot. “I’m sorry”, he whispered helplessly.

Dark purple light started emerging from you, making your hair stand up. You could feel your heartbeat get faster as you pushed out every last bit of hatred you could muster. Peter’s face was now reflecting the violet light, lip quivering ever so slightly.

“Why would you use my parents? You know how I-” Feeling a sob jump out of your throat, you collapsed on the floor, the purple ring around you flashing out before the apartment became as dark as before. Just as you fell, you felt Peter run over to you; arm’s circling you. You could feel his hair tickling your neck as he bought you closer.

“I didn’t mean it. Please…”, Peter said, holding you tight as his embrace. Wondering if you should push him back, you couldn’t be bothered. Instead, you hugged him back, letting yourself melt into him. You don’t know how long you stayed in that position, huddled near the door, both you and Peter trying to figure things out.

But at some point, when you were sure that you could stand up without becoming a bumbling mess of tears, you pulled away. Peter looked at you, eyes rimmed with red, cheeks puffy with his curls a mess. Sniffing, you stand up, not saying anything as you turn away, opening the door softly and looking back at him, your gaze diverting to the black box.

“Go give it to her Pete. I’m sure she would love it.”

And with that, you walked out the door, into the dark night, rain pelting on your head, but truthfully, you couldn’t care less at this point.

Damn, and I thought this would be a fun, fluffy piece, but it turned into something a bit more… Well, anyway, let’s see what happens next. Will Peter give MJ the box? Will Y/N ever even talk to Peter and MJ? Check it out in a few days when I put out the next part. Also, if you made it this far, maybe follow me to see some more short series and stories about our favourite spider boy :)

Part 1 and Part 2

Part 4

#peter parker x bestfriend reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader imagine #avenger reader #avengers #tony stark #mj #spideychelle #angst #peter parker and y/n #peter parker angst

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sirenprincess15 · 3 years

Text

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 15

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: Aleksander struggles to share his secrets with Alina until he finds her upset and needing him.

Recommended listening: Lady A "Need You Now"

Chapter 15

They went on that way for a couple of days. Alina spent most of her time with the tracker. It tore Aleksander up but he permitted it for her. Most of Aleksander’s time was spent handling details of the war, receiving intelligence reports, and managing Ravka. Keeping everyone alive kept him focused.

It was the evenings he spent alone that were driving him mad. He kept thinking of Alina’s desire to be fully honest with each other and Fedyor’s words of the importance of knowing and accepting a partner wholly, even with flaws. He had always been a strategist, always played through all scenarios in his head a thousand times until he arrived at one he liked. No matter what scenario he envisioned with Alina, none of them ever turned out as he desired. He desperately longed for the kind of love and acceptance that Alina called for. There had been so many years alone where he had yearned for someone to share things with. However, every time he tried to plan the discussion of one of his secrets, it all went to hell quickly. He had even spent one evening writing it all out for her in the hopes that would help him solidify his thoughts. It hadn’t, and he’d burned it all as he realized how beyond stupid it would be to give her such information in writing.

The problem, he realized, was that he could eloquently justify every decision he had made, but no matter how he poured his heart out into explaining it all, none of that would make the truth any less horrible. Marie was dead--that knowledge would hurt Alina, and he just couldn’t stand the idea of her experiencing all that pain. Genya was his spy--without the centuries of seeing Grisha persecuted to understand what it meant if they lost this war, without seeing the king’s ineptness firsthand, seeing the battalions they had lost because of inadequate supplies and wasted funds, she would never be able to understand this decision. It was unforgivable to leave Genya in that situation. He knew it was, even if Genya had agreed to stay in it herself. That didn’t mean it wasn’t the necessary decision, too. They weren’t mutually exclusive, but Alina would never be able to grasp that. He had a way to potentially take control of her power and use it against her will--would she ever believe he didn’t intend to use it? Was that even really true? He had always hated the idea and told everyone they would not be using it, but deep down he had always known it was the back-up plan. Could he even say he didn’t intend to use it if he knew there were circumstances where he would? All the thoughts swirled in his head and threatened to take him past his breaking point. And then she would be there to help him sleep and somehow it was enough to get him through the next day.

He was stuck, and he didn’t see a way out of this pattern. He couldn’t stop thinking of ways to try to explain things to her. He needed her. His desire for her to actually accept him was overwhelming. But how could she? As he imagined trying to explain things to her, he saw things through her eyes. It was a fresh perspective, and what he saw was horrifying. It all caused him horrible guilt, and, yet, he knew he would make the same decisions again. Over the centuries, he had become numb to accepting the small pains to prevent the true horrors. Alina had reignited emotion inside him, and suddenly everything was raw again.

Aleksander looked at the clock and groaned. It would still be several hours before Alina would visit his chambers to help him sleep. He could not take another night of tearing himself apart while trying to come up with words to help Alina understand how the murder and torture of Grisha over the centuries had forced him to make harder and harder choices. He should get up and do something productive, something, anything to keep his mind active. The library might be a good idea. He thought he had most of the good sources on the Stag in his chambers, but there could still be some good books with more information on relics in general that he and David had not yet read that could at least keep his mind engaged. There was the added bonus that the library reminded him of happier times with Alina. He had never seen someone smile so broadly at books. The memory of stolen kisses between the shelves brought a smile to his face.

Decision made, Aleksander strode to the library. He froze when he saw Ivan hovering near an alcove. Ivan was supposed to be guarding Alina. Aleksander raised an eyebrow, and Ivan gestured with his chin toward the alcove. Years of working together made a silent exchange possible. Alina was in the alcove, and Ivan thought Aleksander should go in there.

“Alina,” Aleksander gasped as he took in her appearance. In her nightgown and robe, she was disheveled, hair a mess, with tears in her eyes.

She desperately tried to wipe the tears away when she saw him. “Aleksander.”

“You’re crying,” he whispered as he closed the distance between them.

“It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

He reached out and tilted her chin until she met his eyes. “You never let me get away with that line.”

The tears started to fall again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. To his surprise, she started sobbing. He tentatively sent his power through to her. It caressed against hers and begged for a response. This time, she let the connection flow between them. Emotions echoed back and forth with the familiar comfort of each other. She was sad, confused, scared. He was concerned. He made sure to let her feel his love for her, whether she wanted it or not.

“I missed this,” she whispered after a long while.

He blinked. Didn’t she know she was in control of that? He constantly longed for the connection with her. She was the one who decided when they were allowed to have this. “I missed you.”

She sighed and finally let go of the stress in her. In their bond, she pulled for his comfort.

“Did he hurt you?” It was a quiet question, but there was a clear threat in his tone. If the tracker had harmed her, there was nothing that would stop him from enjoying that man’s death.

“No,” she responded quickly. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Are things not going the way you want with the tracker?” He tried not to enjoy that idea. Alina was hurting. That was bad even if it would result in the tracker being out of the picture.

“You’ll be relieved to know that we’ve realized what we are to each other and it’s family. I tried to kiss him. It was awful. So awful, Aleksander.” She made a face and then gave a soft little laugh. “I do love him, but that felt so wrong, and I realized it’s because he’s like my brother.”

“That is not why you are crying, though.” He could tell. He couldn’t let himself become distracted by the jealousy he felt at the idea of the tracker’s lips on hers, even if it was awful as she said. She was comfortable with the decision that the relationship with the tracker was not romantic. He might take more joy in that, but he could not because something else was devastating her. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

“I’m afraid it will upset you.”

Because the tracker had actually hurt her? Because she was going to say something against Aleksander? Something to break his heart? “I can take it.” He kissed the top of her forehead. “If I somehow found a way to talk to you about the Fold, you can share this with me.”

She looked up at him with uncertainty in her eyes. “I can’t. You’ll hurt him or ... lock him in the dungeons.”

So this was about the tracker. He might very much like to kill, mame, or at least imprison the tracker for whatever she was about to say next, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him unless he agreed not to hurt that idiot and she could feel that he meant it. He took her hand in his so she could get a strong read of his emotions. “I promise I won’t hurt him without your permission.” That, at least, he could agree to. He’d just convince her to let him kill the tracker if that was called for.

Unable to look him in the eye as she spoke, she focused her gaze on the floor and whispered. “He wants us to run away and hide. He has a whole plan. I tried to explain how I can’t do that. I can’t hide my power. I told him how sick it used to make me. I didn’t understand what was causing it at the time, but now I do and I can’t go back to not being able to eat or sleep, to feeling so exhausted constantly. Nadia told me some stories of Grisha who tried to suppress their powers and got seriously ill. But he just keeps saying it will be fine just for a little while.”

Aleksander tried not to react to the news that the tracker was trying to escape with her, but Alina could probably feel his response. Anger was there, of course, but more than anything it triggered his protective instincts. He swallowed as he tried to push away any concerns of the tracker stealing her out of his safe space in the Little Palace. That wasn’t why Alina had told him or what she was asking for his help with. “He doesn’t accept you as you are, but it’s only because he doesn’t understand you. What we are is impossible for him to comprehend.”

She leaned against his chest so he could wrap his arms back around her. “He keeps saying things against Grisha. Not against me, he says not me, but … I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it half the time. ‘We can’t trust her, she’s Grisha.’ ‘Those people always have tricks up their sleeves.’ Please don’t be mad at him. He isn’t trying to hurt me, but it does.”

“Prejudice against our kind is something learned at an early age. It’s so ingrained in Ravkan society, worse so in other countries, he probably does not realize that it is hate he is speaking.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to defend or slander him. It’s the truth you need to hear, Alina. He is otkazat’sya. You are Grisha. They have always hated our kind. Fight as we may to be accepted, we never are.”

“I’m tired of feeling so … foreign … other.” She sighed.

“Do you feel like that here at the Little Palace? When you are with me?”

“No, and when he says things like that … I … It’s stupid. I’m so stupid.”

She knew he couldn’t stand for her to put herself down, but he was trying to get her to open up and let all her feelings out, so he didn’t correct her. “Tell me. All of it.”

“I’m a mess, Aleksander. I’m such a mess.”

“You hold me together when I am a mess. I can do the same for you.”

“When he says things that hurt me, all I want is you. I miss you. I miss our connection. I find I can’t breathe when I’m not with you. There’s just this tightness in my chest that won’t go away. I long to reach out to our bond.”

“And that’s a bad thing? Maybe when he puts you down, you subconsciously reach for the only person who has ever made you feel like you are enough and worthy of being loved. I wanted to give that to you, Alina.”

“I’m so scared, Aleksander. I’m in here crying because I need you and I’m so scared to need you!”

“You have taught me it’s okay to need you. It’s okay to need acceptance and love, Alina. I offer those.”

“How can I need you if I don’t even know if I trust you?” Her voice cracked.

Aleksander sucked in a breath at the pain those words caused. “Because of what Baghra said?”

She nodded into his chest. “And the manipulation. If I didn’t know about the letters, what else don’t I know? What else are you doing to manipulate me? At times I think I am strong enough and I can tell when you are lying to me, so that will be enough for me to be able to stay in control of things with you. Other times I’m terrified that I’m still falling for you and I will end up your slave. I realize I’m not in control of anything. I don’t feel whole unless I’m with you! When I’m with Mal, I am constantly thinking of you. I thought that if I gave myself some space, I could separate from that and sort things out, but it’s only worse. It takes all my strength not to run to your rooms because I need you.”

He wanted to reassure her that he was worthy of her trust, but he wasn’t sure that was even true. Wasn’t he just a bit earlier going through the list of all the secrets he had kept from her? He hadn’t managed to confide any of them to her or even come up with a plan of how he could. “There’s so much you don’t know,” he admitted. “It terrifies me, too. Trying to find a way to share it all with you is destroying me.” It was the full truth for once. There were horrible secrets there. He did not want to be manipulating her. He truly did want her to know all of it now, but he wanted her to understand it all too. Figuring out how to make that happen was eating him alive. He focused on those feelings and opened their bond fully so she can know the truth of that. “I need you. I fear if I use the wrong words, you will leave me, and I will not survive.”

“So … we both are driving ourselves mad with self doubt and worry and the pain of being apart. What do we even do with that?”

“If I had come up with a solution, I would not still be tearing myself apart trying to figure it out.” He sighed at the familiar ache in his chest. “Do you … Do you want to just take a break from … trying to figure everything out? My only solace in life is you. If I am your only respite, can we not just give ourselves a night to have that?” He needed a break, and she needed his comfort. They both were in so much pain from trying to survive alone.

“I’d like that,” she admitted, finally looking up into his eyes.

Aleksander reached out his hand and cupped her cheek. She leaned into his touch, and the clenching in his chest finally relaxed. She wanted his comfort. He wasn’t quite sure what a break would look like to her. Would she just want to sit and read in the library? Hold each other perhaps?

Tentatively, he leaned forward to kiss her. Her lips parted, and her body arched into him as if she could not get enough of his touch. He was shocked at the flood of desire that she released through their bond. There was no doubt that she wanted more.

As much as he longed to make mad love to her right there in the bookshelves even with Ivan only an aisle away, it didn’t feel quite right to dive straight into ripping off her clothes. Their relationship was awkward and uncertain at the moment. They needed cuddles and contact and warmth before he reminded her what it felt like to have her body worshipped. An idea occurred to him. “Do you want to take a bath together?”

She smiled. “Yes, please.”

=========

Author Notes: I wrote this chapter a dozen times and deleted them all. Every attempt at writing Aleksander come clean was ridiculously bad. So I started writing about him feeling that way, and Lady A's "Need You Now" came on my station and inspired me. Aleksander was a mess of guilt, self-doubt, and fear until Alina needed him, and then the story just clicked and was so easy to write. All of the emotions felt right once he realized she needed him. He doesn't need to be perfect for her. He needs to be what she needs, and he can be that, even with the dark past. This version felt genuine to the characters, including Alina and Mal. Alina's future with Mal was miserable. I wanted to let her realize 'hey, I don't like this' and choose something else for herself.

#aleksander x alina #alina x aleksander #aleksander morovoza #kirigan x alina #alina x kirigan #general kirigan #darklina #the darkling #alina x darkling

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nygmobblepot-trash · 3 years

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I think it's so funny that Mobius is just some dude. No powers. No fighting skills. Not a super genius. Just a seemingly nice guy who likes jet skis and refuses to stop researching Loki.

My headcannon is if you get high enough you can get assigned to high level variants (people who are highly volatile so they have a lot of variants) to focus on. Low level agents just get assigned to random rare variants who won't really be much of a challenge.

So Mobius is taught by Ravonna. She quickly realizes he can't fight... like at all. Not only that he is too nice and she is afraid he won't be able to prune variants. Mobius tells her he can do it and she reluctantly takes him on a case. She picks one that she believes will be too much for Mobius but easy for her. She thinks he would be a better analyst and wants him to see that as soon as possible.

Unfortunately things get out of hand almost immediately. The two get separated and when Rovonna finds Mobius he is badly hurt and about to be killed. For some reason he has gotten rid of the pruning stick and is casually confronting the variant. He says a few words and the variant crumbles to the ground in tears. She is too far to hear what he said when she demands to know later on he shrugs and says he read the variant's files. Then he does something that further worries her. He argues for the variant's life. She explains that this is the only way to maintain the time-line and prunes the variant without any more arguments. She notices he looks upset by this but figures he will get over it. They all had to, it is apart of the job.

Years go by and Mobius still tries to do things his way. He only prunes if it is absolutely necessary. He also annoyingly goes to every trial and tries to repurpose the variants. Even though the Judge rarely allows it.

She questions his loyalty to the TVA often. She assures herself that he is just too nice and hates violence. This is why she makes sure he stays under her. She also takes credit for his work (technically it is her work as well since she has to prune the variant or bring them in when Mobius refuses). It's for his own good of course. Who knows what the time keepers would do if they found out one of their own agents didn't want to do things the way they wanted. By becoming Judge herself she would be able to protect himself from himself. Or maybe she fears what will happen to her since she is his superior.

Mobius quickly realizes he enjoys reading about people and figuring out what makes them tick. Not only that, but what tiny change could change a person's whole trajectory for life. A simple sentence could break or build a person. Sure not everyone is that simple, but there are times when they are. Everyone has at least one point in their life when multiple different outcomes could be possible. Thus nexus events are born. They are supposed to prune the area and move on, but Mobius hated that. Just because you took one wrong turn doesn't mean you couldn't get back on the same path again. He had proven that when he had the chance. When he was alone and not with someone focused on the mission. The variants are people who deserve to live. They aren't trying to destroy the time line. So he did his best to save every last one of them. To find the one thing to say to get them back on the right path before it is too late.

He wanted things to change so he kept solving cases to climb the ladder to get a voice. If the time keepers knew there was another way maybe they could order the agents to keep pruning as when all else fails. So he researched and researched. One day he found a file that was impossiblely long.

Apparently this person had more variants than anyone. He was intrigued. So he spent any free time he had reading about the person and their many, many, many variants. The more he read the angrier he got. Yes this person was extremely troubled, but they were always so close to being something more. If everything went how it should go they are killed after they decide to go to the good side. Otherwise the TVA prunes them before they can even find who they are. Mobius believes they want to do good, be good, but they just need someone to believe in them, to support them. If he could be in charge of finding this variant he could save them. It would be different this time though, instead of putting them back on the correct path to die, he will give them a new purpose. A glorious purpose the variant would describe it as. What that purpose is will take time to figure out. He prepares anyways, by looking for key moments where a nexus event may happen. One of these plans involved making a 'greatest' hits playlist of the person.

Years pass and a variant of the interesting person has killed the agent assigned to them. Mobius knowing he is about to be assigned goes to Ravonna. She explains it is up to the time keepers and tells him there is no way it will happen. She tells him he would be killed almost immediately. A week later she is at a lost for words when she receives Mobius's assignment. All it says is, Loki. When she shows Mobius he hides a smile. She pretends to be happy for him, but can't help not to see the writing on the wall. This is where he will learn what his kindness will get him.

More time passes and hunters are killed, but Mobius still lives and he is struggling to bring in the variant. As time goes on and more and more die she watches him get more and more desperate. He explains if he could just talk to variant things would change. The only thing saving his life is that he hasn't gotten his wish.

Then the hunters catch one of Loki's variants. She quickly moves to trial before Mobius can hear of it. Unfortunately he arrives as she tries to get the variant to plead. She is surprised when Mobius stays quiet even when she decided to reset the variant.

That is until the variant shouts, "You have no idea what I am capable of!"

Mobius arises nonchalantly and explains he might know what the variant is capable of.

Rovanna decides to let Mobius approach. As he does she quickly realizes what he is doing. The variant wanted a task force to go after the Avengers. Surely Mobius wouldn't be crazy enough to use this variant. He explains he is due to a hunch. She knows she should say no, but she is willing to do anything that may help Mobius bring in the variant currently killing too many TVA personnel. So she agree with a warning.

Now she isn't sure she made the right choice... or ever made the right choice. That tends to happen when what you fought so hard for turns out to possibly be a lie.

Mobius on the other hand is ecstatic. This Loki variant is perfect. He had prepared for this day for years. If his hunch was correct (and of course it would be) then he could stop the cycle. Prove that even a Loki can be saved. Variants could be allies. What better way to do that then to send a variant after a variant (he realizes the irony of this later)?

If you could ask Mobius if he feels the same way now, he would tell you yes. He would tell you he would do it all again in a heart beat. But currently he is burning down the TVA so you'll have to ask later.

#headcanon #Mobius #loki #ravonna renslayer #sorry this is long #i just sort of went off

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redheartwriting · 2 years

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Origins - Chapter XVI

<champi1612> *Rose leans against his sword, clutching on his wound, tore open and bleeding badly. The blood has soaked through his white hoodie, staining the armour, but combined with the blood of the raiders, he's not so sure if it's even his. A combination of tears, raindrops and blood makes up a light red liquid, dripping down his face, cutting through the mud. Breathing feels like a chore, like there was an anvil weighing over his chest, and it hurts, it hurts everywhere, to the point where it's delusioning him into feeling like there's no pain at all. Rose coughs, wiping away a bit of gore on his lips and smiles. He won. He survived and he won. The piles of body around him were maimed, completely irrecognisable, people indistinguishable from beasts. But he won. He steps forward, only to immediately fall to the grass, stained with blood being washed away by the rain. He won, and now he's going to die. Despite everything, this is still, most certainly, his fate. He only had two choices, either to outrun his pursuers or die fighting them. The Dragon had mercy, She gave him time, She was generous, but he defied Her, defied his unchangeable fate, his punishments have caught up to him.* "The power God promised to all of Mankind, the power over life and death. The power we hold to alter the very core of Mother Nature's delicate balance." *Rose whispers under his heavy breaths. He has long memorised the note, so that he will never forget, even if he lost it.* "Yet we still cannot outrun fate, our people were to meet our demise. We held power over the fate of others, but not of our own." *It was laughable, tens of thousands of years the Roguetian people outlived everything that tried to kill them, only for it to end with him, like this. If it was in any other circumstances, he wouldn't let himself give up so easily. But now, he isn't the last, he's no longer the lost child, he doesn't have to keep holding on. Rose is tired, he's exhausted, he closes his eyes. Just a nap, maybe, the rain doesn't bother him, and the grass is comfortable enough. He just needs to rest now.*

<ProcellaCor> *All at once, Quartz is once again by Rose's side. They had been out for days, trying to gather more rare resources and get a better feel for the land. But something had pulled them back home, and by the time they were back, the place had been pillaged. There were bodies everywhere, smoke and fire and rain blinding them. Thank the Dragon Addict was out too. But Quartz had made a mistake. They had trusted Rose to be able to defend this place alone. And surely he did, but at what cost* ROSE, WHERE ARE YOU?! *Their voice strains from their desperate shouting, barely cutting through the noise of destruction. They hear a soft voice and sharply turn, trying to see through their tears* ROSE- *they follow the sound of his voice, for once, grateful for their large ears. Any other species probably wouldn't have heard him. They scramble down to their knees in the mud, sliding a bit as they're next to him* Rose, no, no no no no no, *Their voice is quiet now, desperate. The world rings in their ears as they put a hand to the wound. It's too much, even they know it's fatal. They look at the blood on their hand with horrified wide eyes and look back down at Rose* No- no no no nonononono, stay with me *they can't get their voice above a terrified breath* Rose, stay with me, you son of a bitch you promised you'd stay, please stay- *in their terror and horror, they don't see the golden doll just on Rose's other side, nor that it's touching his hand. As far as they're both concerned, Rose really is about to die* P-Please, I love you, like I've never loved anyone, don't take that from me. Don't you dare leave me now!

<champi1612> *Rose can hear something, /someone/, but he can't make out the voice, or the words. Lapsing in and out of consciousness, it’s only a moment longer, it doesn't matter who's by his side anymore. Even if it is, somehow, a surviving pillager coming to bring him his long awaited end, at least he won't die alone. But he feels a hand on his wound, and the sounds of, what he thinks are, desperate cries. Someone to mourn him, how generous of The Dragon, She must have favoured him, to let him live til this point.* Thank... Thank you... *He tries his best to breathe out the words, but even he himself doesn't know if it was understandable. He also doesn't know that it's Quartz by his side, he just wanted to thank the person who's staying with him, and will mourn him through his death. Rose's mind wanders, as the rest of his body slowly shutting down. He should have told everyone not to make a fuss about his death, he doesn't want a funeral, or a grave, none of those fancy things, he doesn't want to be a bother Maybe just a tree plant on top where his body was buried, no need for a coffin even. He has to apologise to everyone later. The last candle of consciousness in his brain has flickered out. Rose is gone.*

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz takes Rose into his arms as he thanks them, their tears falling onto his wound* Rose, me non relinque... *their voice cracks, their arms shake as they hold him closer* Me cum mane... *they start to breathe in short, shallow, gasps. His body is getting colder, he's fading away. They remember something their mother told them a long time ago, that when you die, hearing is the last thing to go. Quartz pushes through their sorrow and anguish to keep talking to Rose, so he knows he's not alone, that he never was* Te amo... Rose, te amo. Me audis? *They ask him, knowing he won't answer as the light fades from his eyes* Te amo, te amabo semper *sobs choke them as they try to keep talking, as he slips from them* semper, semper, semper *they touch their forehead to his, jumping a little at the chill. For once, they feel the cold, they feel cold themself.* Ich liebe dich, that's how you say it in your language, right? Scis quo se volo... *they sob a bit more* Ich liebe dich, te amo, I love you, I love you, I love you. *Finally, he slips fully away. His body is cold, Quartz can smell the death from him. They hold him in horror for a second longer, their tears overwhelming their eyes, falling harder than the rain. They take in a couple breaths, and then they SCREAM. They scream to the skies, louder than thunder. They don't scream any words, but in their mind they're cursing the dragon, cursing fate, the pillagers, themself, everything, they're cursing everything but Rose, whom they just desperately want back. They keep screaming until their voice gives, and they collapse forward, breathing hard, still sobbing. They don't see the totem take effect, they don't see the totem at all. All they know is that Rose, Carnelian, their best friend, their love, is /dead/.*

<champi1612> *Rose is somewhere he has never seen before, but oddly, he remembers it. A bastion, unlike the ones he see in the nether now, it seemed brand new, marble halls and gold gilded walls, it was big, but it was empty. He starts walking, walking like he knew exactly where he was going. Into a room, one even larger than the previous, enough to hold a banquet, yet still empty, only a small child playing on the floor by himself. He's wearing a black and red suit, looks sort of like victorian fashion, a bit on the fancier side of it. And he looks up at Rose, the child with one red eye and jet black hair stands up to stare straight at him, and the boy said something, but before Rose could response, screams shattered the silence, he opens his eyes once more, and raindrops hit him. His eyes squeeze tightly shut again as he shakes off a bit of water before realising that every movement hurts, it /stings/, aching badly. And then it finally registers that he's in Quartz arms, that he's dead, or rather, was dead. Rose lifts his hand, to the best of his ability, and gently place it on Quartz's head, who's now hunched over his body. He scratches behind their ear, just gently.* I'm trying to sleep.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz jumps and gasps at the touch, their eyes widening again as they're still crying. They slowly look down at Rose, who now has the light of life in his eyes again. They stare in silence, but their face slowly lifts into a smile as they realize he's alive. He's alive. Thank the dragon, /he's alive/.* Rose... *they can barely whisper his name as they shake. They pull him up, hugging him tight. They can feel the cold of his fresh totem scar against them, but they don't care about that right now. They just care that Rose is here, with them.* Es vivus *their voice chokes, their tears falling onto his shoulder as they squeeze him, probably hurting him.*

<champi1612> *Rose let them pull him up, but his body is limp, he doesn't even has enough strength to hug them back. He can simply nod.* I'm alive. *The totem has revived him, but now he's certainly still in critical condition. His numerous wounds are still opened, untreated, he's exhausted, and /freezing cold/, and he has been losing blood this entire time. Rose can only cheat death once.*

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz shifts, standing, with Rose still in their arms. They run inside, not saying a word as they realize they could still lose him. They grab all their medical supplies and begin treating him. Cleaning the wounds, closing them. It probably stings like hell, but it will keep him alive. Quartz still doesn't talk as they work, keeping all of their energy and focus on saving the life of their love. The love of their life. They just desperately need Rose to stay with them.*

champi1612> *Rose lets them work on him, only occasionally hissing at the pain. He's too exhausted to even complain about it now. Though, in the middle of it, he puts his hand on theirs, still working on his wound, and squeezing it tightly, giving them a tired smile, like to reassure them, that he's okay, and to thank them.*

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz grits their teeth and works through it all, tears still streaming down their face. They work through the blurred vision of their emotions, just trying to save him. When he grabs their hand, they don't pause or slow down, but they do jump just a tiny bit. They make brief eye contact, but they don't say anything, they don't know /what/ to say. They look back down at the wound, finally closing it fully, allowing them to relax their hands. But he's still cold, still looks like he's in bad shape. They lean down, silently touching their forehead to his.*

<champi1612> Danke, mein Lauffeuer. *Rose closes his eyes, bringing his hand to their face. Instinctively, he leans up a little, touching his nose against theirs and nuzzle them.*

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz breathes out, trying to calm down and relax. They slowly pick Rose up and carry him to their bed, still not saying a word. They lay him down wrapping him in blankets, knowing he needs more body heat. But their eyes are wide, terrified. They know damn well they almost lost him because they weren't there for him*

<champi1612> *Rose reaches his hand out to them, holding onto their fingers weakly. He normally would open his arms and ask them to come join him, but this is the best he can do right now, he just hope they understand.* Come…

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz stares down at his hand for a moment, before they let go of him. They turn away, just sitting at the edge of the bed, with their head in their hands. They know they're being unreasonable, /he's/ the one who's hurt. But fuck, /fuck/ they were so close to losing him and they fucking know that. There's small, strangled sob as they try to get it under control*

<champi1612> *Rose, unvoluntarily, makes a low whimper in his throat.* Quartz... *He reaches out again, trying to hold on to them, maybe not their hand, but /something/ at least, just to touch them, to feel their warmth, he just needs it so much more than anything right now.* Mein Juwel, what's wrong?

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz shakes their head* Nihil, lassus solo sum. *They don't seem to realize they're speaking Netherian. They cannot focus on Common right now. Their ears flatten, and their shoulders shake as they try to hold in their sobs*

<champi1612> Quartz, talk to me, please. *Rose tries to pushes himself up, but to no avail, he already struggle enough just trying to speak at all.* Please…

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz swallows, keeping it all in. Internalizing it, like usual. They just won't let themself feel this, nor do they want Rose to feel this. They take in a deep breath* I-I'm just tired, and worried about you, th-that's all. *it's not completely a lie, they /are/ tired and they /are/ worried*

<champi1612> *Rose takes a deep breath, mustering all of what little strength he has left and pushes himself to sit up, though he immediately slumps over, leaning against Quartz. That's fine, he wraps his arms around them, and his wings made an attempt to do the same.* Bitte, meine Liebe.

<ProcellaCor> No, no no *Quartz, as gently as they can ever manage, shrugs Rose off, laying him back down* Rest, you need to rest. You almost- *they choke, they can't say it. Of course they can't say it* P-Please, please just rest.

<champi1612> *Rose holds their face in place, close to him, so don't won't go anywhere.* If you move it will be very painful for my torn muscle, so stay. *He leans their head down, until their foreheads touch.* Tell me, please, what's wrong?

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz freezes, terrified to hurt him. But they smile just a bit, chuckling* That is blackmail, you stubborn- *they cut off with a sigh* I... Rose. I'm sorry.

<champi1612> Why? *Rose looks up, locking eyes with them.* You helped me. You haven't done anything. And I was happy when you came by my side.

<ProcellaCor> You- *Quartz' expression shifts, their smile fades* You can't possibly /not/ be mad at me right now. *they whisper it, genuinely confused as to how Rose can be happy right now. They /swore/ to him they'd come running if he needed them, and they weren't there*

<champi1612> But... I'm not. *Rose, more than anything, just seems confused.* I'm not mad at you, and I don't know why I would be.

<ProcellaCor> *Tears escape from Quartz' eyes* You could have been killed. *they whisper it, barely able to accept the reality of it* You- you /were/ killed.

<champi1612> Yes, but I'm alive now. *Rose leans up, kissing away their tears.* I'm alive now, you helped me. And even when I was dying, you were there.

<ProcellaCor> No, no no no- *Quartz just can't accept that* I told you I'd protect you, that I'd come running, and you died, what if you didn't have a totem, or I wasn't here, or- *they begin to hyperventilate, not able to keep themself in check*

<champi1612> Quartz. *Rose says firmly, putting both of his hands on their face.* Quartz. I'm alive, against all odds, and I have been alive, all alone for years by myself. I'm sure I would have made it out other ways.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz takes his hands from their face, still trying to be gentle but completely overwhelmed. They've never let themself feel very much, and somehow Rose has brought out all their repressed emotions, and now they've almost lost him, now they know they can't lose him. That they'll shatter. They shut their eyes, they can't keep looking at their injured love, knowing (or thinking) it's entirely their fault.*

<champi1612> Please... *Rose's gaze saddens, his hand finds its way to theirs.* It wasn't your fault that I was attacked, and if anything, it was mine. You helped me, you still saved my life in time. Please. I love you.

<ProcellaCor> I shouldn't have left you here alone. *Quartz' hand is freezing and shaking* I- I promise I won't- not again. I shouldn't have- I was being selfish- I- *they can't get a full sentence out, they're too tangled up in all of it* I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

<champi1612> *Rose squeezes their hand, tightly, his thumb running back and forth over their knuckles.* No, No. I promise. I promise you weren't selfish, I promise that I'm fine. I'm alive, thank you for saving me, I'm still alive.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz shakes, they stare at him, and then all at once they hug him, sobbing. They're still gentle, but they're also clearly a wreck* Don't die on me. *they whisper it* Please. Please don't die on me. I- I need you. Like I've never needed anyone. I-I'm sorry, I know it's selfish, I- I just- I-

<champi1612> *Rose wraps his arms around them, tightly.* I love you. *His hand tangles in there hair, making soothing motions as he stroke it.* I love you.

<ProcellaCor> I love you too. *Quartz whispers it desperately, still shaking, every other noise a pathetic whimper* I'm not gonna leave you alone here again, I promise. I'll take you with me next time, or I-I'll stay. Whatever you want. But I won't let anything happen to you again.

<champi1612> It wasn't your fault that anything happened to me. *Rose scratches gently behind their ears, doing all the things he can do to comfort them.* I had to stay, I had to protect the village. It wasn't your fault.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz can't help a purr when Rose scratches behind their ears. And it does make them feel better, they let out a sigh. Relaxing finally* I /am/ sorry I wasn't here.

<champi1612> *Rose shakes his head, putting his forehead against theirs gently.* It wasn't your fault. You didn't know, and I promise I'd protect the village when you're gone.

<ProcellaCor> But- But... *they take in a shaky breath, holding Rose tighter* I'm supposed to be your Brute. I /can't/ care about the things I want, including exploration- I- *they pull away, just so they can look him in the eye. They put a hand on his face, gently running a thumb over his eyepatch.*

<champi1612> Take it off for me, will you? *Rose smiles gently, putting his hand over theirs on his face, leaning into it a little.*

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz blinks, a bit surprised. They slowly move to take the fabric from his face, but they hesitate.* Are you sure?

<champi1612> No one else is here to see but you, yeah? *Rose closes his eyes, nodding softly.* I can't always hide myself.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz smiles, and they gently take it, putting it aside* It's pretty. *they whisper, like they're still scared someone will overhear, that someone will come for one or both of us* Red like roses.

<champi1612> "Rose, that is now your name. You have never had a name before. Hide your eyes, hide yourself. You are Rose. *He recites, closing his eyes. It's refreshing, to take the eyepatch off, he usually doesn't mind it, but there is a visible difference, like a weight has been lifted.* I was assigned Rose, I could not care about the things I want, I am not supposed to love. But you made me fall in love, and everyone made me wanted to stay. I chose to stay. *He opens up his eyes again, staring deep into Quartz's.* Please, you have no responsibility over what happened. You offered to be our brute, but we would have let you stay regardless. And you're not just our Brute now, you're our friend, you're my love.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz listens carefully, and they smile. They still wonder about what could have happened between when they last saw Carnelian, and when they first met Rose.* I- I know. *they whisper* I know you would have let me stay. You and Addict are stupidly kind like that. *they lean forward, their forehead against his* But I don't think I made you do anything - I hope I didn't. You're my love too and you- I- *they stumble a bit, still ever bad with words* I can't let anything happen to you. Not now.

<champi1612> *Rose brings both of his hand up to cup their face, pulling them down to kiss him. Just a gentle and soft kiss, almost like a peck.* I fell in love with you. I /am/ in love with you. I want you to be happy, to do the things that make you happy. I can care for myself. You didn't let anything happen to me.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz kisses him back just as soft and gentle, putting their arms around him. They slowly lay them both down, wrapping blankets around them both* I know you can defend yourself *they whisper, running their hand through his hair* I just- I have to know I've done everything I can for you

<champi1612> You have. *Rose nods, smiling up at them.* There's nothing more I could possibly ask for. As long as I have you, nothing else matters.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz smiles and pulls Rose closer, letting him use their chest as a pillow* Don't ever scare me like that again. *they still whisper* I don't know if I could take losing you.

<champi1612> I'm sorry. *Rose smiles, snuggling closer into them.* I don't want to leave you, and I never will.

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz lets out a breath, running their hand up and down his back* I'm exhausted.

<champi1612> *Rose closes his eyes, already slipping away.* Me... too…

<ProcellaCor> *Quartz finally relaxes enough to fall asleep, Rose in their arms. Just happy to know he's safe and alive and going to stay that way.* Te amo. *they mumble it as they finally fall asleep*

#origins #word count: 3740 #total word count: 41092 #and happy birthday aggie!

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simpingw0lfi3 · 3 years

Text

rise and fall

happy birthday @yuikishirohana !!! here’s a smol gojo fic >.< hope u enjoy it hehe

Within the abandoned building, you could feel that the brittle concrete was going to give way anytime soon. But you did not move. Nestled in a single corner of a room barely lit by a single ray of sunlight seeping through the cracks, echoes of the relentless croaking and shrills of despair rung in your ear. Everything in your body told you to run, to book it and just hope that they wouldn’t catch you. Yet there you sat, quivering within the expanse of your own fears, paralysed.

“So you can see them.” Like a tangible ray of hope, the moonlight illuminated the locks of his alabaster-coloured hair as it gently swayed in the breeze that you hadn’t noticed amidst your agitation. The man stood in the middle of it all, nose held up high despite the disturbing creatures crowding around him. You didn’t know why, but there was this sudden relief that washed through you as your gaze lingered on his figure, something bubbling within telling you that if you stripped your gaze away from him for just a moment, you’d return to your pathetic shrivelling self, overwhelmed by your solitude and uneasiness. “Unsightly, aren’t they?”

“So you can see them too.” The words slipped out of your mouth, barely a mere whisper. Your words were no louder than the repetitive throaty screams of those unknown creatures, and yet, you knew he brought his attention to your mutterings from the slight grin that lifted up the corners of his thin lips.

“Of course~ I’m the most powerful sorcerer after all.”

“Sorcerer…?” Mumbling under your breath, you observed how he leisurely raised his hand up in the air. He did not cower. He did not seem to mind his surroundings. He was... absurd, to say the least. He called himself the most powerful sorcerer and walked into this battlefield of sorts that caused you great discomfort whilst wearing a blindfold… to call him ‘unique’ was an understatement. Questions ran through your mind. Why was he so confident? Was he like you, able to see these creatures that had been denied by everyone else you encountered? Who was he exactly? Despite the emergence of your erratic curiosity caused by this man, he looked like the calm in the tempest you were trapped in.

All it took was an effortless swipe of his hand. In a blink of an eye, the once-persistent abnormalities had vanished, leaving you stuck in the small corner lost for words. They’re gone… they’re gone. Chanting, a futile attempt of processing what had just occurred. The sight of a hand entered your vision, and you looked up to see the very man that saved you.

“I’m Gojo. And you?”

“...Y/n.”

“Hmm, that’s some nice cursed energy you’ve got there.” Even though he had a blindfold on, you could feel his stare lingering onto you. Observing. Judging. Cocking your head to the side in confusion, you clasped your hands in his as he pulled you up. “I’m sure there’s a lot of things you don’t quite understand yet, but I’ll guide the way.”

Gojo Satoru. There was this aura he exuded that brimmed with confidence and certainty. The man was the complete opposite of you - you were uncertain, not exactly the most outgoing… quiet and reserved.

All this time, you had been alone - lost parents, people who called you a freak for acknowledging the presence of curses, and a trail of curses would follow you everywhere you go causing you to run away at any destination unbeknownst to you.

But with his hand outstretched to you, beckoning you to follow him, finally. Finally you met people like you. And you had to thank the sorcerer for that, for bringing this newfound paradise to you. A journey filled with new knowledge of a new world.

“Hm…” Walking back to the dorms after a mission, Megumi’s hum of confusion put you to a halt.

“What’s wrong? Did we miss something?”

“No, no. It’s not like that… it’s just, Gojo-sensei has been supervising our missions a lot more ever since you joined us.”

“Oh, that’s true.” Itadori piped in, nodding as he raised his eyebrows in agreement. “I wonder why....” Itadori looked up into the night sky for answers, and you were thankful for the night sky that had encompassed all of you into darkness; blood rushed to your cheeks in embarrassment, thinking that Gojo had been keeping his eye on you.

You were just sitting on your bed, reading a book, when you heard a knock on your door. “Who is it?” Sliding the door open, you were greeted by those incandescent eyes of his languidly gazing on your figure. “G-Gojo-sensei!”

“It’s just us, skip the formalities.” He grinned at your flustered state while he walked over to your chair and sat down, crossing his legs in an overly casual fashion. “So, how are you fitting in?”

“Everything’s been going well, thanks to you.”

“I’m not doing anything~” Raising his hands in surrender, a slight chuckle escaped his lips. “It’s all your talent.”

Jujutsu, curses, energy… despite it all being a completely new discovery to you, it flowed through you naturally. And that, your cursed energy, uncovered something that changed your life forever.

“W-what? Me? Zenin…?”

“Seems like the clan wants to claim you after all.” Gojo’s voice echoed in the classroom, a hint of irritation in his tone of voice. Behind those sunglasses, you couldn’t see how he knitted his brows in frustration. “Damn those elites.”

“Do I not have a say in this…?”

“With a clan as powerful as them, no.” He sighed heavily, leaning against the door and looking outside. If someone like Gojo couldn’t come up with a solution then there was no choice but for you to accept it. “Your cursed energy flow is exceptional, sure, but why would they want you after all these years? They even went through the trouble of abandoning you as a child. It just doesn’t make sense.”

Silence. The two of you pondered, not knowing what direction this was taking.

“Are you okay with this?” His tone took a softer approach, his sudden concern shocking you.

“It’s not like I have a choice, right?” A smile of pity formed on your lips as you stood up from your seat, making your way out of the classroom.

“Y/n, if you ever need help, feel free to contact me. I know that clan, and they aren’t exactly the most forgiving.”

“I know. Thanks.”

Everything had changed. Gojo would stop overseeing your missions with the other first years, and there were days you could hear him bring a woman into the dorms. Every voice, a different girl. Every laugh, a different girl. It became common practice for him, and eventually the other first years had gotten used to it.

Distraction? Maybe that’s it… but he’s not acting like himself. Some of the first years had said.

I knew he was a playboy, huh? Right, Y/n? Kugisaki chuckled while the two of you went out shopping.

Was everything he ever said to you a lie? Were you just another one of his playthings? As you sat alone on your bed, the thought of how you actually believed that your relationship with him was something special… it made you laugh.

I pity you, Y/n.

Not a day would pass without the Zenin clan harassing you. As if separating you and Gojo was not enough. They wouldn’t stop, relentlessly forcing clan traditions on you, missions, training... it was hard to keep up, especially as a female jujutsu sorcerer. And before you knew, it rumours about you started spreading like wildfire in the clan.

If they were going to be so unwelcome, why’d they claim you in the first place? It almost seemed as if the moment you found reason in life, the moment you found joy, it only proved to exist to aid in your eventual suffering.

Itadori, Megumi, Nobara... Gojo... they saw less of you, the clan stripping you of your own qualities and locking you up within their mindset.

“Y/n.”

“W-what- Mhm-!” For once you could see his wavering eyes filled with emotion. Rather than the typical undulating calmness they held, there was this sense of desperation. Gojo’s stare bore into you, never once leaving. As if he could lose you, right then and there, should his gaze linger at something else.

“I don’t care what the Zenin clan says. Superiority? Yeah right, they’re just afraid.” The white-haired man scoffed as his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you closer making your head bump into his chest. “I… I don’t want to lose you.”

There was a slight tremble in his voice, and with your head pressed up against his chest you could hear the vigorous beat of his heart. His body quivered ever so slightly against yours. “Gojo…” He was the most powerful sorcerer in the world, and you knew he would always flirt with other girls in hopes to tame those desires of his. That he couldn’t ever possibly be yours. But here he was, shaking and holding back tears at the thought of never seeing you again.

He became weak at the thought of you.

“Hah… I can tell what you’re thinking. Me, of all people, acting like this…” The way he held you even tighter against him so that you were unable to see his face confirmed your suspicions.

“Why me…? You’ve never been so determined with love before…” It was true - he seemed to have women chasing after him, left and right, and there were many occasions where he welcomed those women in his embrace.

But now here he was, his warmth encompassing you as he muttered his hidden affections for you. Not that you didn’t hate it, of course - rather, knowing how he became so despondent filled you with this mellowness of sorts.

“I... I’m not so sure myself either. You were out of my grasp before I knew it, and the days that passed when you weren’t by my side had gone completely dull.” There was no longer his typical air of confidence behind his words. They were quiet. Reserved. “You’re a part of my life now, Y/n. And when you became unreachable, I guess I fell even harder.”

Gojo chuckled. Then there was another long silence that filled the room. So quiet, so still... you could only feel the rise and fall of his chest and how his hands were only clamping tighter and tighter on your waist.

“Fuck the rules, Y/n. Because I want you.”

#fanfiction #my writing #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk #jjk gojo #angst #fluff #anime #happy birthday my guy #love you

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