#and a husband willing to take the fall for the murder his wife commited even after she cheated on him

[brittie-frog]

I still laugh to myself at Warren Kole going from the homiphobic ultra Christian dad of a lesbian who's plane "crashes" and gets stranded in the wilderness to the ultra supportive husband of a women who's plane crashed and got stranded in the wilderness and had a homoerotic relationship with her best friend.

Love that the last few years he just saw wilderness in the synopsis of a show and went okay.

[itsclydebitches]

Hey Clyde, did you check out Wonder Egg Priority at all? The first ep is super promising, but the series as a whole is one of those real fascinating disasters from a story and a production standpoint that might be up your alley as a thing to pick apart haha.

I’d warn that it’s also reeeeal offensive and this generally gets worse as it goes though.

Hi, Phoenix! How are you and Cube doing?

Okay, I hadn't watched Wonder Egg Priority when I received your ask this morning. Now I have. In a fit of intense curiosity I settled down for a rare binge session and tore through all twelve episodes + OVA in a single sitting. It is now nearly 3:00am as I write this because I, oh so clearly, make fantastic life choices.

A question for you: what did I just watch?

The rest is going under a read more partly for spoilers, but more-so because WEP—and the summary I'm about to give, because I feel like I need to try and explain this to tumblr's faceless void for my own, dwindling sanity—comes with about every trigger warning under the sun. Seriously, if you are triggered by anything that we might think of as a "standard" trigger (meaning, not unique to you and your own experiences), best to proceed with caution.

Right! What the ever loving fuck happened in this show? Well, let's work through this chronologically. Two genius, frat boy brothers (I get their names mixed up so I'm not even gonna bother) are locked in their apartment and closely monitored because of Super Secret Science Research. Even though, I think, they're the ones who created this company. Not important! What is important is that they're bored enough to create an AI for funsies, thinking of her as their daughter and letting her name herself Frill. Frill is the perfect, cutesy, also genius child who has a habit of popping her lips — which the camera focuses on in an incredibly creepy fashion. One day Brother #1 (the hot one) falls in love with a random woman we know nothing about and Frill gets jealous.

"Jealous in a general sense?" you ask, thinking this show is in any way normal. "Like, just of her Dad giving attention to someone else?"

"No," I respond, patting your hand. "Jealous because she's in love with him." Which, beyond the subject matter itself, comes completely out of nowhere. Frill has a line about what you'd do if some woman stole your husband away. I, fool that I was, briefly considered that these two guys were lovers, not brothers. Oh no. They're brothers. Frill just considers Dad #1 to be her "husband."

So, in true evil AI fashion, she murders the wife, leaving only her newly born child behind. Who is a daughter.

Uh oh.

Dad #1 locks Frill in a coffin-esque hole in the basement and goes on with his life. Things are great! Until years later when the daughter reveals that she has fallen in love with her uncle (Dad #2 to Frill). She knows (somehow??) that both her dad and her uncle loved her mom, so if the loser uncle will just wait a few years he can marry her instead! He brushes her off, but the next day she’s found dead of an apparent suicide.

Realizing that this was somehow Frill’s doing, he marches down to the basement and confronts the murderous child they’ve had locked up for years. She’s now surrounded by screens in, again, true creep AI fashion. How did she get all this while she was locked up? Oh, just the three bug girls she created as friends prior to killing the wife. They’re devoted slaves, I guess. So the uncle says enough of this insanity and seemingly sets Frill on fire.

OH and Frill’s subtitled dialogue also puts “uncle” in quotation marks, implying that the daughter was always Dad #2’s??

Anyway, both brothers are now super obsessed with death and claim that they think Frill has had a hand in lots of girls’ suicides, even now after her own death. This is brought into question later when it’s revealed that they might have just concocted this scheme to try and bring back their daughter. I’m really not sure. Regardless, they use hand-wavey science to create eggs that I guess contain the souls of young girls who have committed suicide, then they sucker in other young girls who have lost people to suicide to try and rescue their loved ones in a dream world, saving others along the way. A tomboyish girl, Momoe, lost a classmate who admitted to loving her, but who Momoe rejected. Rika, a former junior idol, used and rejected an overweight fan only to learn later that she’d starved herself to death. Neiru, the 14yo president of some science company (yup) was attacked by her sister before she jumped off a bridge. Finally Ai, our protagonist, is a victim of bullying who managed to make friends with a single girl, Koito, who then jumped from their school building for unknown reasons. They’re all given the chance to bring these individuals back to life, provided they protect other victims of suicide by defeating the monstrous traumas that drove them to that act in the first place.

And you know what? That concept was great. However, the execution ranges from “Okay, that was pretty good for an anime. Kudos there” to “That’s the most offensive thing I’ve seen in my life.” Needless to say, unpacking all the battles they fight would take a lot more than this already absurd summary. Basically, if you can think of something horrible to happen to young girls (and one trans guy whose existence in that egg undermines the whole message of the episode), there’s an attempt to tackle it here.

During all this the four girls become friends and Ai works through her suspicions about Mr. Sawaki, a teacher at her school. What’s going on with Mr. Sawaki? Uh… everything! He’s somehow connected to Koito’s death, he’s dating Ai’s mom, and Ai apparently loves him too because her friends say so, even though this is never actually addressed and she barely interacts with him. It’s all quite the complication.

In time though the girls complete their “mission” of bringing their loved ones back to life. Rika and Momoe manage it first, only to find that Frill’s bug-girl lackeys have arrived to kill them. Why? Because that’s what Frill does, I guess. Momoe’s crocodile familiar (cute animals the girls were gifted to help them fight) takes a killing blow for her and the bug-lady then proceeds to carve up his corpse and force feed it to Momoe. Fantastic!! Building off of that, the next bug-lady who Rika encounters kills her turtle too, following in the footsteps of her bug-sister by, presumably, forcing her to eat parts of its head. Ai refuses to sacrifice her familiar to stay alive, but luckily the suicide she was protecting turns out to be herself from a parallel universe (that's a thing now!) and she takes the killing blow herself, which is done by pulling out the eye she’s sensitive about (she has heterochromia.) So parallel Ai passes on (again?) and the three girls don’t work through this trauma at all, instead becoming more traumatized through the realization that the loved ones they brought back no longer remember them. They’re alive, but the relationship they all had with them is dead.

It’s about this point that the main storyline wraps up and I’m relieved that there’s an OVA to finish things off. Surely they can somehow bring this all together in 45 minutes.

…25 minutes of that OVA is recap.

So with only about 20 minutes left, we learn that Neiru, the only one to not complete her mission yet, has mysteriously gone missing. It turns out she was an AI/clone/something all along, made to replace her sister and, presumably, that’s what caused the whole stabbing-suicide incident. She successfully brings her sister back, but stays behind in the dream world because Frill promises her she can become human. How is Frill here when she’s dead? How will Neiru become human? Isn’t Frill the “temptation of death” or whatever? There are no answers. A flashback finally reveals that Koito was having a relationship with a teacher at another school, he committed suicide, she transferred, she tried the same thing with Mr. Sawaki, he kept refusing her advances, and finally while threatening suicide to get his attention, she accidentally fell.

(So why was she in the suicide egg if it was an accident??)

Except, all this information comes through Mr. Sawaki himself, there’s a whole subplot about whether he’s really a villain, or if Ai is just making him into one, and this show might as well be titled How Much Pedophilia Can We Put into One Anime? So make of that what you will.

A dead character randomly shows up, but it's fine because she's actually just a version from a parallel world. How did she get here? Why is she here? Lol, it's cute that you think these are answered.

Rika, the character who cuts and almost committed suicide halfway through the show, breaks down saying how much she misses her dead loved ones, right after her friends refused to let her go on another mission that would surely end in her death and… that’s it. That’s all we get about her.

Momoe too, though she’s hopefully just vibing somewhere with that longed-for boyfriend.

Ai transfers schools and then one day randomly remembers that she loves Neiru and rushes back to start cracking eggs again because that will? Somehow?? Let her see Neiru???

When I say there are too many unanswered questions to possibly list here I really, really mean it.

Finally, in a personal attack on me, the protagonist with a name that is literally AI is not in any way an artificial intelligence.

And that’s it! Congratulations, you now “understand” WEP. And see, the funny thing is that the off-the-rails, bat-shit crazy aspects kind of catch you off guard? Yeah, the first episode is fantastic. In fact, I think I got through about six episodes thinking that this was a solid, if at times really messed up anime, but I was willing to shrug off a lot of stuff due solely to the amount of sensitive material they were attempting to cover (which is always quite difficult to do). Probably the only reason I was able to binge so fast was because the first half of the series was so engaging. The characters are charming. The animation is GORGEOUS. There's actually a ton of good here that is also worth yelling about. But then the plot comes in like a freight train and I was left staring dumbfounded at my screen as more and more insanity kept happening. Having watched the "explanations" I am now more confused about the show I just saw.

Phoenix, if you’ve bothered to read this rambling, 3:00am rant: thank you. I think? Idk if I should actually be thanking you or cursing you for tuning me into this, but it was definitely an experience, that’s for sure lol.

I'm off to bed now RIP the chance of having normal dreams ✌️

[anonymouslyangsty]

What do you think Assassin!Taka would do if he figured out how much his grandfather was manipulating him? Also, what do you think of an alternative Assassin!Taka where his first kill was his grandfather?

Very good question and very good concept.

Minor derailment for a sec (i swear it's relevant), but let's talk about Takaaki and Toranosuke in this au.

(warning, it ended up not being 'a sec'. I bolded the part where I ACTUALLY start talking about your question)

I feel like Torano's downfall was a bit of a slippery slope. He needed to gain some momentum before he went to murder and child grooming, as ya do. And I think the major step towards extreme corruption came through Takaaki.

I feel like those two have a rather tense relationship early on in the au. Takaaki knows that some of his father's dealings are fishy. Perhaps not criminal at that point, but not exactly clean either.

But Takaaki is still human. He's got a wife and young son to care for. If his father's slimy actions got out, they'd ruin the Ishimaru name. Plus, he isn't hurting anyone, right? So Takaaki leaves it alone.

That kind of dismissal only lasts for so long however, especially when you're as honest as Takaaki. Eventually, he's not going to be able to turn a blind eye, even if acting puts himself and his family at risk.

Perhaps Torano does something that goes a bit too far, that actually hurts people and ruins lives. Takaaki wouldn't be able to stand for it and, even if he cares about his father, he isn't going to deny his duties as an officer because of it.

But I think that Takaaki would make the critical mistake of trusting the goodness in his father just a BIT too much. He thinks he can talk sense into Torano, get him to change his ways without ruining his whole career. All Takaaki does is give him ample warning.

Torano cares about his son. Takaaki is a decent man, hardworking and honest. But he'll be damned if he lets his soft heart get in his way and ruin his legacy. So when Takaaki threatens to release info on Torano's illegal activities, he knows he has to keep his son quiet.

Toranosuke is very careful with how he does it. He can't just kill the man. If Takaaki shared his suspicions with anyone, his sudden death would be damning.

So he does the next best thing. Torano gets Takaaki declared clinically insane and locked in an asylum. He weaves this detailed, damning story, bribing as many people as he needs to to create a false narrative. Takaaki attacked him in his office, spouting conseracy theories and accusing him of murder!

Toranosuke deeply cares for his son, so he obviously wouldn't send him away unless it was for his own good, right? And if Takaaki's wife suddenly finds herself overwhelmed with life under the camera's eye, well. What kind of grandfather would Toranosuke be if he didn't care for Taka while his mother was away visiting family? He's just looking out for his family after all.

So that's all to say that Takaaki is alive in this au, locked away from crimes he didn't commit. After so long of being told he's insane, he slowly begins to believe it. Maybe he was becoming paranoid, seeing crimes where there weren't any. Maybe he had overreacted. Did he attack his father? He didn't recall doing so, but there was video evidence, so it has to be true.

It takes years for Takaaki to be deemed sane. By that point, he's convinced himself that he really had made up all those accusations. Taka's already gone at this stage, off training for his grandfather's purposes. But Takaaki thinks he's just off at boarding school.

Now I'll get to the point of this 'little' tangent. I think Takaaki's the one who proves to Taka that he's being used. Takaaki's an officer, likely far higher in standing than in canon. So it's plausible that he'd be employed to investigate a string of strange deaths that's caught the eye of a few officials.

It would be quite interesting for Takaaki to realize that the 'string' of murders is actually far longer than they'd realized. It'd be even more interesting for him to realize that his son is the one behind the deaths.

Takaaki is a father first and an officer second. There's no way he'll allow his son to take the fall, especially not once it becomes clear that Torano placed him into the role. Takaaki would absolutely try to make his son see reason, which means making him see that he's being used.

Okay NOW I'll actually get to the point.

If Taka found out he was being used by his grandfather...Well it sure wouldn't be a pretty sight. We already know how Taka responds to his world being destroyed: denial, unresponsiveness, and manic behavior. That's how he responded upon learning that a guy he was friends with for 3 days was a killer.

Assassin!Taka doesn't see himself as a murderer. He sees himself as an executioner, dealing out capital justice to those who abuse their power. He kills those that are irredeemable, who harm others without any empathy.

But if that was all a life, if he was working for the corrupt rather than against...He'd be just as bad as the corruption he sought to destroy. He'd be a murderer.

Put that revelation onto the realization that the man who raised him since his parents left, the man he looked up to as the pinnacle of greatness, is himself corrupt. Has himself committed the same crimes Taka killed to stop. That Taka was nothing but a tool for that corruption.

Literally everything that Taka is in this au would be a lie. He's not killing for justice, his mindset isn't the correct path, his grandfather isn't fighting for justice.

I honestly think Taka would have an extreme, violent response to that revelation. He'd see both himself and his grandfather as irreparably tainted, absolutely dripping in the blood of the innocent. And Taka has known no means of removing such blots on human society but to personally wipe them out. So that's exactly what he go out to do.

Now I'm thinking about Taka and Takaaki hunting down Torano for some vigilante justice. All while Takaaki subtly tries to convince his son not to kill both Torano AND himself. It would be very hard for Takaaki to convince Taka that he was a victim of his grandfather, and not equally as guilty.

(this is also making me think of an au where Taka's hired by the FBI for his skills in a Black Widow situation)

Speaking of that, let's get to the "Taka's first kill is his grandfather" au.

The first and biggest question is: who the heck puts Taka up to it? It would not be easy. I'm thinking that, in the normal Assassin!Taka au, Torano spends YEARS grooming Taka into accepting killing. Nobody else would have that kind of extended access to Taka except his parents.

...

Except his parents. I'm literally having ideas as I type this. New idea! I'm going to make Taka's mom relevant (and evil)! Also I'm calling her Nori because I just need a name.

Perhaps Takaaki's marriage was arranged for political reasons more than love. He had to marry wealthy, and ended up marrying the daughter of a wealthy businessman.

And that's a very useful position, isn't it? Nori is in a perfect place to learn the intimate details of the Ishimaru family. She can learn what little squabbles the family has amongst one another, what weaknesses there are, anything she could need.

Her parents are well acquainted with several politicians, all of whom are more than willing to act in favor of her family's company. All of whom are itching to become Prime Minister.

So a plan is made to leave the position of PM vacant. Assassinate Takaaki, frame Torano, get someone who'll act in favor of the company in control. Maybe throw in some Yakuza connections for flavor.

Nori is nothing if not a good actor. So when a bullet comes through a window during a banquet, going straight through Takaaki's skull and spraying the table with blood, she acts just like you'd expect a loving wife to. The event falls into chaos instantly, guards swarming the area. And little Taka, who'd been so excited to wear his new suit to the event, has to be dragged away from his father.

Nori's job at this point is to act the part of the mournful wife, suddenly finding herself a single mother. She also is tasked with beginning the rumor mill, whispering of the animosity her poor late husband and his father had for one another. How she's afraid that Toranosuke is somehow involved and, if she isn't careful, will act against her and Taka.

Somehow Taka ends up hearing about it. And well, Taka isn't the type to hide his feelings as a teenager, and he certainly doesn't do it as a child. It's an unexpected complication to the plan. Taka isn't going to just let the rumor float about. He's ready to go straight to his grandfather and demand answers, which would ruin everything.

They could kill the child, it wouldn't be terribly hard. But perhaps Nori has some attachment to him, even if she knows he was only born as a prop for her role. The only other option is to make him part of the plan.

Why frame Toranosuke for murder when you can convince his grandchild that he's a horrible man? A man so powerful that even the law can't touch him? A man so powerful that only someone truly dedicated to justice can bring him down?

It isn't hard to convince Taka to poison his grandfather. The hardest part is training him to hide his anger long enough to get the job done.

So now Nori has made way for a business partner to become Prime Minister, and she's created a hitman for the company. Taka would be a much more loyal assassin than simple money could buy. He's got a vendetta against corruption and a tarnished faith in the justice system. And Nori is in the perfect position to direct his righteous anger towards those that 'deserve it'. And if her definition of who deserves death is different than Taka's? Well, he doesn't need to know that.

[witching-hour]

Love on Hold [Jax Teller x Reader]

(A/N): was feeling angsty after watching a montage of clips from season six of jara — their worst and most heartbreaking season. this is based on the last episode of season 5 and includes season 6 elements which had not taken place yet, so bare with my little au. this rewrite really went from 1379 words to 2777 words

SUMMARY: the reader confronts jax about his questionable actions towards wendy and reveals her plans about leaving charming

TW: usual soa violence, s5 + s6 spoilers, character death

UNSHED tears of disbelief and anger clouded your vision, making you blink them back, looking away from your husband who had blatantly lied to your face. You didn’t want to believe what you knew, but the evidence was laying out in front of you, and you couldn’t just ignore the facts.

You saw how these past few months of overturned leadership has changed him. The gavel corrupts, Bobby once warned you after voicing your concerns about Jax’s new position with SAMCRO. Be prepared for anything, sweetheart. It ain’t goin’ to be easy.

You knew that his warning was not misguided or out of line. You saw what being president had done to JT and Clay. You knew with ‘great power came great responsibility.’ Jax would carry a heavier weight than he did when he was VP. He might have to make calls that may seem questionable as he will be faced with hard decisions that he won’t want to make, but will have to for the sake of his club. And with him as president, it made you the new queen of SAMCRO. He would be away from home more, leaving you to really step up to the plate as the First Lady.

You also had new responsibilities, which could be counted as benefits or drawbacks. You were not the VP’s Old Lady – you were the Prez’s. As Jax carried a heavier weight, you would too.

Jax may have been a bad boy – an outlaw, but he had a heart of gold. And that heart is what made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Your husband had confided in you when he got out of prison about how he wanted out of outlaw and wanted more for his kids than a life of chaos and danger. After the past couple years of shit the club had faced, especially the events of Belfast, you understood where he was coming from because you felt the same way. However, you were wary, mostly seeing it as post prison blues. All Jax knew was outlaw, it was in his DNA. Charming was his home and the Son’s was his family. You knew that Jax wanted to push the club in a different direction, a more legitimate one. It was going to take a lot of time and effort to do so, but you and many of the members believed that Jax would be the one to turn the club around.

You voiced your opinions, but Jax made it clear he wanted to be a better man for you and his sons. Too much blood had been spilt, and the club lost its way. Eventually you were on board. But things went south in your plan to get out of Charming. As you had dreaded but knew deep down it was inevitable. With the club and Gemma, how were you even going to be able to make it to the town’s border?

When Jax informed you of the CIA meddling in a case with the Galindo Cartel and them needing SAMCRO to continue the supplying of guns, or they’d push for the R.I.C.O. case they just finally gotten off their backs, you knew Clay had left one huge unfuckable mess behind to his stepson and future president.

With the CIA pulling the strings, Jax was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. While he wanted better for the club and pull it out from the darkness it’s been submerged in for so long, he would put the whole club and his family in jeopardy if he caused the CIA problems and got R.I.C.O. dangling over their heads again. He was keeping too many secrets from the table between the CIA’s involvement, the letters from his father about Clay’s betrayal, and Piney’s real murderer.

Then Opie was killed

– and Jax lost a piece of himself along with him.

Something in Jax had changed. He grew cold and detached. You tried to pull him from the darkness, but he was turning into a shell of who he once was. Jax was slipping and everyone saw it. The minute Bobby realized he wasn’t getting through to the man he saw as his own, he pulled out of SAMCRO and joined the Nomads; making Chibs VP and Happy the new Sergeant in Arms. Eventually Bobby came back after recruiting some Nomads and helping bring his prez back into his own skin. And for a while the Jackson you knew was back, but then he started slipping again.

He had all the power and not the first clue on how to deal with it.

Meanwhile all this was going on, you had tried to be there for him, but there was only so much you could do. He had found it less and less to come and confide in you. The agreement of full disclosure no longer existed between you and Jax. Your titles as an Old Lady and wife ceased to have meaning. Jax only ever kept you at arm’s length.

With full disclosure thrown out the window and secrets being kept and lies more common than none, who knows what other promises he made he failed to upkeep?

No lies.

No secrets.

No hurting women.

No infidelity.

You could cross at least three off that list.

He sat across from you at the kitchen table, watching as your jaw clenched and eyes glazed over. His eyebrows pinched together in bewilderment at your clear display of emotions; disappointment, anger, disbelief. He watched as you fought to keep the tears at bay. Your irises flickered up to the ceiling, growing wide as you blinked a few times, they finally met his laid-back figure in the wooden chair.

“Wendy showed up at my job earlier today – a complete wreck – frantic, clothes disheveled, hair a mess, anxiety practically seeping out of her pores…She accused me of putting you up to what you did. I didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about at first. I didn’t even know you went to her place last night, so I covered for you, just in case you were stuck with club business last night, and, boy, was I wrong.” The realization dawned on him as you spoke, shame stretching across his sharp features. His eyes closed briefly, and his head tilted up as his jaw clenched, anger simmering on the surface. You just couldn’t tell if it was from you finding out about it or him actually committing the act. Your guess was both.

“She’s been sober – she’s been clean for four years. How could you of all people take that away from her?” You scoffed, not even bothering to let him answer if he even had one. He didn’t. “Hell, Jax, you were the one supporting her when she was laid up in the hospital. When Gemma was telling her to kill herself, you were there defending her. You encouraged her to get clean; even offered her a place to stay.”

He didn’t say a thing, only stared down at the table where his ringed fingers laid in loosely held fists.

“Yes, I was pissed when Wendy threatened for custody over Abel, but, seeing it now, do you fucking blame her? He’s been kidnapped and used as leverage with the goddamn IRA. He and Delilah were in the car when Clay’s hit on me almost earned a payday. And we were all made targets when the Irish tried to fucking blow us up in the Clubhouse; the one place we were supposed to always be safe. If you didn’t see that damn pen, Jackson, we’d be dead – all of us. Our kids, Gemma, Nero, Chibs, Happy, Tig, Bobby, Juice, Quinn, Rat, Chucky....Should I go on?”

Still, he remained silent, only now his eyes bore into yours as silent pleas stretched across the table for this conversation to end before it got worse. He could feel where the end of your confrontation would conclude for your family. His heart fell heavy in his chest and his blood ran cold by the time he came home and noticed you sitting at the table playing with your engagement and wedding rings. He could feel the tension rolling off you in waves and they only got thicker as he made his way deeper into the dimly lit room. When you requested for him to have a seat he began listing as many ways it would go.

Yet as you continued to speak, he stayed quiet. He didn’t have any answers to the questions you were asking. Or at least any that would satisfy you.

“I didn’t want her taking my son, but that didn’t mean it gave you the right to take something she worked so hard on, and might i add, it was something she did for Abel.”

His jaw clenched at the mention of his indiscretion. “I did what I had to in order to protect our family.”

And how he couldn’t have sounded more like Gemma in that moment. Was she the one who twisted his mind up into doing something so horrible? Was it her influence? The club’s?

You loved Gemma. She was your mother-in-law after all. You may have bumped heads in the beginning of your relationship, but the matriarch eventually came around to you being a part of Jax’s life (and Abel’s). However, the last year or so you have seen her in a new light. Well, as new as it gets with Gemma. She could be downright manipulative when she wanted to be, that was a known. Especially with her golden boy Jax. It was a given Gemma would do absolutely anything to protect her family.

Sometimes you found yourself questioning how far she was willing to go – if there was a line she wouldn’t cross, but sometimes you also found yourself agreeing with some of the things she did. Since you were also a mother, you could understand, but it didn’t mean it was right.

You had recently gotten involved in some club business for your husband and your SAMCRO family, which blew back on you and raised suspicion with the authorities causing a case to be built against you. The case had gotten dropped and you took the opportunity to accept the job offer in Colorado that you were presented with long before Jax even got out of Stockton. You had politely declined but was called again around the time Jax voiced his opinions about leaving the club and Charming behind. Gemma had used her knowledge as leverage and threatened you the day before to rat on you when she found out you wanted to leave Charming and take the kids to Colorado – regardless if Jax was to follow you. Either way Mama Gemma was not about to let you take her son and grandchildren away from her.

Your eyes narrowed in disbelief, a small sound making its way from the back of your throat. “How can you justify that? Who even are you?!” You jolted from your seat, no longer finding yourself calm enough to stay seated. Jax followed your movements. “What…what happened to we don’t hurt women? What happened to women and children being off limits to the club’s brutality? Did that all slip away when you became president too?”

“What the hell s’that supposed to mean?!”

Hysterical laughs escaped you. Those uncontrollable laughs then turned into sobs. Your hand came up to cover your mouth, attempting to stop the cries, but failed.

“I – I – I can’t – I can’t do this anymore,” you cried. “When I look at you...I don’t know what I see…and that terrifies me.” Your confession rose emotions you couldn’t pinpoint in his body stature or those daring blues that make you melt at one look. You took in a shaky breath, an equally shaky exhale leaving you. “I refuse for us to be the next Clay and Gemma. I’m sorry, but that’s where I draw the line. The longer we’re here, the deeper we sink into the darkness, Jax, and the more we lose of ourselves, and the more we turn into the people we despise the most.”

He shook his head, clearly disagreeing with what you were saying. “We’re not them.”

“You’re right, we’re not.” You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest. “We’re worse. We pretend that we’re better. But how are we any better than them based on the things we’ve done.”

“Babe-” he went to move toward you, but you only took a step back putting a hand out and in between the two of you.

“No.”

“(Y/N/N)—”

“No!” he stopped dead in his tracks at your shout.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself, holding back the amount of tears that could challenge that of a tsunami. “I was offered the position in Colorado again. They’re promoting me too.” you told him. “I took it.”

Jax’s eyes widened at the news, his hands gripping the back of the chair, hunched over the wooden seat. “You made this decision without me? You didn’t think to talk it over with me first?”

“I’m way past asking permission when it comes to my life. Or my children’s lives.”

“You’re takin’ them from me.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement of incredulity. Had it really come to this? Had you both really drifted too far this time?

“You said it yourself last year, Jax. JT should have run Gemma over if it meant getting you and Thomas out of Charming and away from the madness of the club.” Using his own words against him. That was something you were known to do and relatively good at. It was scary, but effective to say the less. It would get your point across, didn’t it? “And if that’s what it takes, then so be it. I won’t make the same mistakes.”

“This is not the life we wanted for them. And if I’m the only one feeling that way, then I guess I’ll be the only one to do something about it.” You sniffled, doing your best to avoid his burning gaze. You knew if you even got a glimpse at the broken look on his face you would cave, and you needed to be strong for your kids. “You said you were gonna make it better. You said you were gonna get out of the drugs and guns. You said you were gonna get them out, remember?” You reminded him of the promises he made, but proved to be empty.

You wiped another fallen tear with the sleeve of your shirt. “I know that getting out of all the illegal shit was going to take time. I know that shit wasn’t going to just go away overnight. I know that you’re struggling with being the man you want to be and the man you have to be – not that you would say anything anyway.” you shrugged. “Baby, your slipping and I don’t know how to catch you. Your changing and it’s scaring me.”

“The club shit is getting so much worse and I can’t just sit here twiddling my thumbs pretending that everything’s going to be okay. I just can’t.” You sounded defeated but the stern tone didn’t cease. “I have to do what best for my babies.”

“And what about us?” He pleaded, throwing his arms out before letting them drop to his sides.

“This isn’t about us, Jackson. It’s not just us anymore,” you reminded him. “This is about them.” You told him, watching as the world in his deep blue eyes come crashing down. “I have to put my love for you on hold and theirs have to come first.”

His body was leant up against the cabinets, defeated and poignant. His ringed fingers ran through his already tangled hair from the number of times he pulled on it. One of them ran over his face before both hands met at the center, falling in the praying position.

Your heart was breaking. The end of your marriage was here, but you had to be strong; not for yourself, but for your two babies who were sleeping soundly in their rooms down the hall, oblivious to what was going on between their mommy and daddy. You had to be strong for them and your unborn child of eight weeks. You had to do better in order for them to live better a life. One that was worth living. Your love for Jax would never go away. You will always love him, despite anything he may say or do, nothing could possibly change how you feel about him. And perhaps that was the problem, but your children came first.

Being a mother came before being a wife or Old Lady.

SOA TAG LIST: @cutekittylexie @talicat713 @woahitslucyylu @xx--day-dreamer--xx @sweetpeaflower01 @rebelwrites

[onelastbreath-writes]

I’ll Meet You There (Part 1)

Pairing: Marcus Moreno/ Wife!Reader (AFAB, no y/n)

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Mentions child loss, loss of a spouse, survivor’s guilt, vague references to suicide/suicidal thoughts after loss of child (all located in the first 500 words, so it’s brief and not too dark, but please take care) and violence, swearing, and action/fighting.

Summary: What if Marcus’s wife didn’t actually die? What if she and a few others were kidnapped during an attack on Heroics’ HQ, and then held captive for years without realizing? If the only thing you “remember” from your past is that your husband and daughter were killed, well, you surely wouldn’t want to go back to the people who you believe did it. But maybe, with the help of a tenacious child and some re-awaking parental instincts, you’ll be able to break through the brainwashing and forced amnesia, and find your way home.

Tags: Hurt/No comfort (for now), ANGST, eventual happy ending, one really sad man for whom I just keep making things worse, #sorrynotsorry

A/N: This is my first We Can Be Heroes fic, and first reader fic, so please be gentle. I’ve got the rest of the story outlined, so I hope I can get down to writing and posting it soonish, but my RL is busy and doesn’t leave much time/energy for quick updates. If you like it and want me to do a taglist, let me know so you can know when I update again. Also a big thank you to the amazing Jay @disgruntledspacedad​ and her fic The Right Thing for inspiring this one, and for allowing me to use her wife!reader idea. Please go check her blog out, and give her some love <3

AO3 Masterlist

---

“You’ve been in a terrible accident, Doctor, and I regret to inform you of your husband’s and daughter’s passing. Our rescue and recovery efforts after the incident were unfortunately unsuccessful, and you have our deepest sympathies.”

It took months for those words to even sink into you; months before you even remembered anything about who you were... the accident, or the attack, as it was more commonly known by you and the other victims, took your entire life away in an instant. You survived, physically, but at the cost of your partner? Your child? All the memories of your life together? How could you be worth it?

“Your transcripts and accomplishments are phenomenal, Doctor, and I’m in need of talented and capable individuals such as yourself to help right the wrongs, and demand justice, from those who have committed such heinous acts against us. The Heroics are murderers, destroyers of peace, and they have gotten away with their crimes for far too long. They’ve been praised and applauded and worshipped as gods while all they truly are, are terrorists. How many more innocent lives can we allow to be lost to their carelessness? ‘For the greater good’ is quite the insult when the people saying such things aren’t the ones losing their families to the chaos, wouldn’t you agree? Join me, Doctor, and we can make a difference.”

It was easy decision for you, even in the early days of your recovery. From the distant and foggy memories of your past, your anguish in what you could recall, you knew that if you could stop someone else from having to feel the loss and pain that comes from losing their spouse and children, you would do so in a heartbeat.

Your husband had been an incredible man, your Everything, you would imagine, going by the ache in your heart when you thought of being without him. His name, his appearance; that was all lost to you when you lost him. His existence in what could be healed of your memories was just a shadow, a shade, the vague impression of the man you loved. You remembered his warmth, his kindness and gentleness, his love and devotion to you and the child you created together.

And your beautiful baby girl... if thoughts of your husband left your heart aching, then thoughts of your daughter left you in unparalleled agony, completely inconsolable. You tried to avoid thinking of her, if you were being honest, tried to leave all what-ifs and could’ve/should’ve/would‘ve’s behind... you had worked with people, mothers, who had lost children before, had seen them tear themselves apart in their grief, taking the blame for something that was in no way their fault; you had seen them destroy their lives with their hoarded guilt and perceived crimes... you couldn’t allow yourself to fall for that, those falsehoods, you had to be alive if you wanted to honour your child and husband’s sacrifice.  

“We will make them pay for what they’ve done to us, Doctor, I promise you that. Together, we can get justice for your husband, for your little Missy.”

---

Marcus knew something was wrong as soon as his commlink started transmitting static instead of his teammates’ conversations. The Heroics had been deployed to stop a hoard of rogue security androids that were infected by a virus or something (he couldn’t usually follow the technobabble), which had led them to escape their testing facility and target nearby civilians with their advanced weapons technology.

Evacuating the citizens trapped in the line of fire was the team’s first objective, and once the area was cleared of potential victims, they moved onto the containment and neutralization of the enemy combatants. The Heroics team was decently cohesive; they could work together to ensure the protection of innocent lives while in a firefight, but once the civilians were in the clear and the stakes not so high, the supersized egos of the members emerged with a fiery passion. This particular firefight was no different.

“Hey ‘Legend, bet you a week of incident reports that my count is higher!” Miracle Guy’s voice broke out over the ‘link, as eager to show-boat as ever, from where he was steadily piling up his deactivated attackers.

“I’ll take that action, Miracle, easy. It’ll be like taking candy from a baby!” Crimson Legend wasn’t the type of person who could ignore a bet, especially one issued from Miracle.  “You’re probably so behind already that you don’t even stand a chance, ha!”

Of course, they just had to make it a game, keep the superiority contest going; like a single mistake couldn’t cost them a life or a limb. And just to further prove how amazingly mature the rest of Marcus’s team of Adult Superheroes were, they all started in on the bet too.  

“If I beat your totals, I want a week off from training!”

“Ha! Like any of you have a chance of winning against me! I want my on-call weekend, off”

“If I win, you’re all my personal slaves for the rest of the day!”

Did Marcus say Adult Superheroes? He meant infants.  

And they had started the mission so well, communicating and strategizing, actual teamwork instead of bickering and joking around like children. Hell, even their children didn’t get into as much trouble as their parents could.  

“Guys, it’s really not the best time to be playing around. We need to focus on-” He was cut off by the loud static burst of an out-of-range radio. Shit. That’s not good. If his comms unit was fried, he couldn’t direct his teammates, couldn’t keep track of them, couldn’t help them.

They were pretty spread out by now, giving everyone room to use their powers without worrying about another Heroic getting caught in the blast zone. He knew from their most recent locational sound off that Crushing Low and Invisi Girl were working together near the intersection two streets over from him, and if he could make his way over to them, he could figure out what was going on.

Marcus needed to know if it was just his commlink that was out of commission, or if their entire network had gone down. The former scenario was a minor inconvenience, the latter was a major issue. Either he’d have to lead his team by correspondence, or he’d have to worry about them being completely alone in the field, without support from HQ, and without any chance of backup or rescue.  

He couldn’t worry about the details now, he had to keep focused on finishing off the seemingly endless wave of androids. Androids with guns. Androids with guns that he was trying to kill with a pair of katanas... Maybe he hadn’t thought his primary weapon for this mission out very well... It was just something that he’d have to come back to later. For now: sword, robot, teammates.

---

They didn’t pay him enough for this. He should have gone into acting like he had planned before his powers manifested. This sort of shit didn’t happen to actors.  

Marcus had destroyed all the androids delaying him from reaching his nearest teammates and was finally able to move to their location with relative ease and only minor distraction. He could see Crushing Low laying waste to the few remaining functional robots in the area, and could assume that Invisi Girl was around somewhere, disabling any downed but not dead enemies while protecting ‘Low’s back.  

He was proven right when he heard a feminine voice call for him to “hit the deck, Moreno!”.

“Thanks Vis! You two doing alright? What’s your comms sitch?” He stood back up straight, just missing being nailed in the head by a flying metal limb had it not been for her heads-up.

“We’re a-okay! Comms are out though. No known damage to them, no knocks or surges, might be the tech, or it might be the channel. We’ll have to see what Tech-No thinks.” She was still invisible, but Marcus could imagine her animated expressions and movements. She was one of the most... normal... of the Heroics, if normal could ever be used to describe any of the team. Reliable and observant, with a good sense of battle strategy. He greatly appreciated her skills and efficiency in the field; she and Tech-No being the most down-to-earth of the Heroics, most willing to help him keep the peace between the rest of them.

“I’ll watch Low’s back if you can go find Tech. We need to know what’s going on, ASAP. If all the comms are down, and Tech can’t get them back up, I need you to find everyone and tell them to meet back at the robotics facility. Get Miracle and Fast to help if you can. If anyone’s injured, they’re your first priority, okay? Thanks, Vis.”

---

Getting every member of the Heroics team back together took nearly an hour, all coming fresh from the fight but thankfully not too banged up or bruised. They set up a perimeter once enough of the team had arrived to their meeting spot, allowing Tech-No to deep-dive into  investigating their communications malfunction.

“It’s the network, not our comms. We’re dealing with a drop either from HQ’s side, or a forced drop here from RFI. But considering the standard distance and all the buildings and stuff around us, a radio frequency jammer wouldn’t be able to block our communications network as far out as we were. We must assume that the problem comes from HQ. which presents further concerns, obviously. I designed most of the technology there myself, so I know exactly how much work it would be to take down the whole system. We need to consider this as part of a bigger plot, and plan accordingly.” Tech-No’s eventual explanation hang heavy in the air, no one willing to break the silence following it... If something had happened to HQ… Their co-workers were there, their friends, their children…  

Marcus thought of his daughter and wife. They were both there today. His wife worked in the medical centre, and they brought their daughter there for daycare. If something happened there... shit. If he was panicking about his family already, his teammates were doing the same. He had to head this off. He couldn’t let this get out of control. He took a breath and squared his shoulders. It was time to be Marcus Moreno the leader of the Heroics, not Marcus the husband and father. Lead by example, they’re all counting on you.

“We have no proof that anything is actually wrong, and until we know for sure why we can’t reach them, we need to do our jobs. Finish the mission. We’ve always trusted our people to hold down the fort at home so we can help people out here, and they’ve never let us down before. We are not going to doubt them now, understood? Whatever happened? We know HQ is doing their best to keep our loved ones safe. So, we finish up here, quickly and thoroughly, and then we head back to base. Let’s get moving,” He met his teammates’ eyes, allowed them to witness his own fears, but also his stubborn determination. He wasn’t asking them to ignore or dismiss their worries, but rather, put it into finishing the mission so they could go home sooner.  

No one fought him; thankfully just picked their tasks and headed out.  

“Tech, we need transport. Now. I don’t care how you do it, just get it done, alright?” Marcus refused to acknowledge the slight tremble in his voice, tried to breathe around the lump in his throat and the dread sinking in his stomach. He desperately stopped himself from thinking about coincidences and probabilities. This was all a fluke, a random string of events that didn’t mean anything more was going on. They’d be able to laugh about it when they got home and saw everything was just as they’d left it. He had to believe that. He didn’t have any other choice.

—-

Transport home turned out to be a military helicopter big enough to fit the whole team, in addition to the fully outfitted squad of soldiers already inside.

“According to the press release your director gave, there was small but powerful group of gifted individuals who invaded Heroics’ Headquarters, intending to either kidnap or kill certain “important personnel” within the building. Didn’t specify much more than that, other than that your organization would be dedicating as much manpower as they could to bring “those who would cause such destruction and terror” to justice. The address was filmed in the parking lot, but there were a lot of emergency responders and vehicle in the background. I’m sorry we can’t tell you anything more, but well, we were scrambled to your location ASAP, barely had time for the news we got...” The staff sergeant sitting across from Marcus briefed the team about what the intel they had on the HQ attack. And that was what it was. An attack. The thing they all feared most.

“Thank you for the information, and for the ride back home; we lost communication in the middle of a battle, with no clue as to why. Now, at least, we have an idea of what we should expect when we arrive.” The mention of “important personnel” jump-started Marcus’s heart into overdrive. That was the code phrase they used when describing their most vulnerable people to the public, non-combatants and injured persons usually; a smokescreen meant to dissuade targeted attacks, and shift attention away from those who couldn’t protect themselves in the case of an emergency. It was also the code that frequently represented their children.  

The families of the Heroics were classified as high-risk targets; villains and enemies of their organization didn’t often have the moral decency to leave their loved ones out of the fight. So, to afford as much anonymity and protection possible, any time the team had to reference their partners and children in physical records and documentation, it was under that code phrase.  

This attack was centred on their kids.  

What kind of monster do you have to be to go after a bunch of kindergarten and primary school children?

Fuck.

The only good news was that there was no mention of the attack being a success.  

So, all the Heroics knew for certain was that a group of villains had tried to get to their children, and while obviously causing significant damage to HQ, they had been stopped. Were unsuccessful. The Home Team had saved the day again.  

Marcus thanked every deity he could think of for keeping his and his friends’ kids safe.  

The rest of the flight home was quiet. Him and teammates finally able to get some rest after all the fighting and panic, and the soldiers conversing just loud enough to be heard over the headsets and hum of the chopper’s motors.  

He was pulled back from the edge of unconsciousness he had been drifting along for a while when the pilot gave them their five-minute ETA.

They were home at long last, and everything was going to be just fine.

---

[Next Part]

[life-rewritten]

Flower of Evil: The Breakdown of the Psyche of Baek Hee Sung

Watching episode 15 of Flower of Evil is a thrilling experience that still haunts me till this very day. We could focus on the psychological state of Do Hyun So as he hears that Baek Hee Sung kills Cha Ji Won. I could analyse it as a Romeo and Juliet base;  dreadful outcome of miscommunication and how this has been foreshadowed since the very beginning of this show. But what's even more fascinating is how the ghost of Do Min Seok is used even more as a way to showcase the breakdown of his psyche again, especially when he starts to doubt Cha Ji Won in front of him because he always believed he wasn't sane. It's a fantastic painful scene. So yeah we could focus on all that, but I want to focus again on the actual message of the show being a flower made of evil/in evil, and look at the man, the coward, the villain of this show Baek Hee Sung. His reasoning, his descent into psychopathy, and his reasons for his thirst to kill.

A breakdown of the psyche of Baek Hee Sung

When we first look at Baek Hee Sung, he's found lying on a hospital bed secretly stashed inside a walk-in closet of his parents. His mum is hugely emotional and anxious about him, we can tell she holds a lot of guilt, and she's involved in his situation. His dad is there to hold her back from making mistakes, whilst also still making her feel guilty whenever she tried to actively move on and accept Do Hyun So as her family. (which she admits to him in episode 14) 

Baek Hee Sung lying on the bed doesn't feel as scary and whilst the clues are there that he is the missing accomplice; the reason for why the serial killings stopped after Do Min Seok committed suicide, (the day he went into a coma) and his family's need to conceal him away like a secret.  Even when he wakes up, he's still not as scary as his father who acts more coldly and heartless in situations and feels more dangerous than the guy who can't walk. It's until the audience is told he is the accomplice that things start to fall into place. The question is, why is Baek Hee Sung a killer.

The Guilty Party: His Parents

I've already posted about the irony of the identity of Baek Hee Sung, how both he and Do Hyun So are mirrors of each other, foils of each other destined to intersect. Just like Hyun So was taken to therapy at a very young age for hurting animals, Hee Sung was also there because he also dropped a brick from the roof on a dog/car with people in it. He blamed it on stress, and unease from his exams, he needed to let off steam, and whilst Hyun So doesn't react or give of emotions to the therapist, Hee Sung cries and acts guilty making people think he's not someone with a disorder. Including his parents, who feel guilty for making him into one later because of neglect and stress on him to succeed as a maths wiz. This is when Hee Sung meets Do Min Seok, and he tells his parents he was coerced and forced by him into the killing. 

Reasons for why his family continues to aid him into killing: 

The father and his neglect

The mother of Hee Sung states that from the very beginning she was the one who took care of Hee Sung, she was the one who taught him, stayed by him as he grew up. His dad was nowhere to be found because he was always working. Even in the past, when he was taken to therapy, his father wasn't at the hospital, it was his mother who knew and fully understood his character. The most important scene that is repeated is that his father refused to answer the phone when he ran over Do Hyun So and because he panicked he proceeded to try and bury him in the back yard. This is what caused the catalyst of his mother, stabbing him and realising the monster he's become. It's what drives him to be in the coma. Looking at this information and what Director Baek says, it's his guilt for not being with his son that causes him to act out if he was there perhaps Min Seok wouldn't have coerced Hee Sung if he was there or answered the phone his family would not be in the predicament they are in. His guilt is focused on ensuring his family is safe, protected and mended. Because he was not there at the beginning. From his cold attitude, and unfeeling persona about other matters, it can be assumed that he only focused on the fact that his son was a genius, and math wiz, he probably didn't think it was wrong as long as his status and reputation were good.  He believes after his son wakes up that by being by his side, he will change, he will now be part of it and control the other variables. This is what causes him to pardon Hee Sung continuously; he feels too guilty to try and stop him. (though his guilt doesn't stop him from being abusive, I guess.) He's even willing to kill to get his family protected, as long as he can manipulate someone else to take the fall. He uses Do Hyun So as physical place holder, hoping to get rid of him and return his son to that position, he even menace says that Hyun so's wife and child will end up being given to Hee Sung, and that's his goal. The father's character is three dimensional because as much as he acts cold and unfeeling, he does have one thing he cares about his son and family's reputation. This is why it can be proved as well that the environment for Hee Sung was also part of the reasons for his descent into psychopathy/murder. His father neglect that makes him more prone to following Min Seok to get attention.

The mother and her guilt

Baek Hee Sung has a different relationship with his mother; he indulges her and doesn't feel angry about her trying to kill him. He coerces her into helping him and his antics because he plays as well on her guilt. Different from the father's responsibility in neglect, his mum is representative of the burden in pressure. From the start of the show, the mother reacts anxiously to any hints of pressure: she rips up Eun Ha (her fake grand daughter's) maths work because it's too ahead of her, she blames the work for the reason for why it would ruin her life and her mum's, she also questions Eun Ha if her mum hits her, or hurts her when she gets the answer wrong suggesting that Hee Sung may have been forced into the life of being a maths wiz. Her character is over-reactive, and she makes mistakes all the time. She feels guilty for pressuring him into studying, especially when in the psychiatry hospital he says it's what caused him to throw the dog from the rooftop. In her mind, the pressure they instilled on her son is what made him look for refuge and release from Min Seok.  Her guilt continues to hunt her because she reacts to the reveal of his killings by stabbing him and putting him in an extended coma. Her guilt is what makes her hide him on life support in the closet, ensuring they keep him alive, and her guilt even worsens when she finally wants to end it all (and move on) by killing him again but only making him wake up. Not only is she feeling guilty for making him a monster because of pressure, but she feels guilty for trying to kill her own son who 'was a victim of the environment'. In her mind, her husband's neglect pushed him into wanting to seek someone else in his life as a mentor, and her pressure on him to succeed caused him to break down in need of release (he killed to feel calmer/distract himself from the stress). Because of this, and the fact that her maid betrays her (she doesn't have anyone else to trust but her family) she allows Hee Sung to coerce her into framing Hyun So. In her mind, because everyone else is terrible/fake because there is no one else who will protect her but her son and her husband she decides to team with them and keep protecting Hee Sung. It's all about guilt. Both the parents feel guilt, but the immense guilt they have is not knowing the influence of Do Min Seok in their son's life. 

Do Min Seok and his cruelty 

What Hee Sung tells his parents is that Do Min Seok forced him into the killing, he feared for his life, and so his only option was to kill. This is interesting if you do believe his perspective. We've seen Min Seok can be quite coercive as he tried to coerce Do Hyun So as well into hurting and maiming animals, he took him out on excursions waiting for potential to see if he was going to kill like him. Min Seok also approaches Hee Sung due to hearing about his incident with the brick, and he tells him that he's just like him. Reasons for why Hee Sung's parents would believe that Do Min Seok did do what their son says, is because of the cruelty of the murders,  and their refusal to accept his role in it that makes them see it as the only option/reason for why he did it.  However it is revealed that Do Min Seok did not need Hee Sung anymore once they captured Jung Mi-Sook, he wanted him to turn himself in and stop, but Hee Sung proceeded to kill him because he could no longer go back to his past life, and he now had a never-ending thirst for violence. And this brings the question why did he develop an appetite for murder? 

Baek Hee Sung and his thirst for violence 

The father figure

It's interesting when we analyse the scene when Min Seok warns Hee Sung not to bring his son into the conversation, his desperate need to frame Do Hyun So as the murder/accomplice, and why he reacts by killing Min Seok for wanting to abandon him. The intentions from Min Seok is clear; he understands that Hee Sung won't be in trouble because his parents are wealthy enough to acquit him for his murders if they pay enough. He's not selfishly abandoning Hee Sung, but he's giving him an excuse to stop killing. This goes against Hee Sung's own claim that Min Seok was abusive and forced him into the killing.  So why is he obsessed with framing Do Hyun So. From looking at the environment/nurture, he received so far before he met Min Seok, it could be possible that just as the neglect plagued his father, Hee Sung was plagued by it too. The first way Min Seok coerces Hee Sung into joining him is to speak about them as equal, he states whilst others see it frightening and weird to understand him, Min Seok is like him, and he should find others like him, so he's not lonely. Min Seok used Hee Sung's loneliness to bring him to his side.  One might guess that from learning and being mentored by Min Seok,  Hee Sung found a father in Do Min Seok, someone who let him be himself (aided his thirst to hurt/maim) and someone who understood him.  This can then explain why he is determined to punish/frame Hyun So for the murders; jealousy.  It seems that just as much as Hyun So in the future wants to be Baek Hee Sung the most to live, Hee Sung wanted the reverse to be like Hyun So, and have someone like Min Seok who understood his urges and thirst for violence but still cared.  The jealousy of Hyun So also can explain why he reacted and killed Min Seok.  Min Seok was about to abandon him whilst trying to protect Hyun So who isn't like them. Min Seok wanted Hyun So to be like him, he waited for chances to see Hyun So will want to kill (waiting for his skills to ripe) but overall still cared and wanted to protect Hyun So even till the end. This would have triggered jealousy in Hee Sung who didn't want to go back to his environment and wanted to continue killing. He didn't want to feel controlled or judged by others, so he got rid of Min Seok and resented him for making him a murder. His longing for a father figure might have pushed him to the edge, once he felt there was no hope of ever being normal/sane, and he didn't want to be. 

The stress

Again breaking down the other reason for why he was prone to follow Do Min Seok and found refuge under his mentoring and presence. He killed to relieve stress and tension. This could be relieving tension of the pressure on him to succeed in his studies or the anticipation of feeling suffocated that he must wear a mask to be seen as normal. (The crying and the unnatural act he put on when he was in front of the therapist.) Do Min Seok became the alternative to all that, and he developed an addiction to killing, a sort of release from it that he enjoyed and revelled in.  He became so addicted to it, that when Min Seok tried to stop it, he lost it and ended his life. He resented being this way, but he also enjoyed doing the act. Do Min Seok represented a sort of freedom for him, one where he didn't have to pretend or hide, or feel forced to live up to expectations of others. So his reaction in killing Do Min Seok makes sense when you look at the variables, he's not just a cold-blooded killer, he had incentives and reasons for why he did so. But this brings the question: Nature vs Nurture. 

The nature vs nurture

What made Baek Hee Sung a serial killer, was he born with it or was he made to become it. From how he reacts to his diagnosis/mostly when he fakes emotions, it's clear he was born with a disorder (psychopathic/sociopathic), his automatic reaction was to find something else to use as an excuse, and he himself refused to believe he was one, a psychopath. Two from everything we've analysed now, he's also made to become one, from meeting Do Min Seok and learning how to kill, to enjoying it, to wanting an escape from the environment he was from. Three the question, however, is if he hadn't met Do Min Seok would he be a killer. My answer is yes, it was only a matter of time before he found something else to latch on as an excuse for killing, so it's both, the environment he was nurtured in was toxic and would have made him search for ways to find release, but also with his money/ social reputation it would have made it easy for him to get away with his murders, but also he wanted to kill. He didn't feel any emotions in hurting people, so we can argue that he would have tried and hurt someone even without the help of Do Min Seok, as a reaction to something, when he felt threatened in the world, or he felt annoyed by someone, he would have ended up one way or another finding reason to kill. So Baek Hee Sung might be a victim of circumstance, but he isn't innocent. 

[novelconcepts]

I hope the messages get sent this time. A couple days have passed, but I was very intrigued by the theories posted about how Jamie passing on the story, maybe causes Dani to live on. It's very interesting and it ties to the way Flanagan goes about ghosts in his shows. Even more fascinating to me though, is the juxtaposition between Dani and Viola in their nature as Ladies of the Lake. Viola ended up a shell of a woman at the end of her life. Her family resented her. (1/3)

(2/3)I don't hold it against Perdita for killing her. It's valid to not want to waste away besides an ailing person. So no happy memories remained of Viola. Just a reference. I had a wife once. I had a mother once. And how else do we remain alive than through the memories of our loved ones? So Viola washed away. Which is a terrible fate. But then there's Dani. And I know the kids forgot about her. But I know it that feelings of love and gratitude remain in their hearts! I'm sure.

(3/3)And in any case there's Jamie. The love Jamie has for Dani is the stuff of fairytales. She doesn't only remember her, but also makes sure others do too. In a safe way. She wouldn't pass to the children the trauma of that heinous crime Peter almost committed. And do you realize that the only way Jamie knew Viola's story is that Viola's memories bled into Dani and they talked about it and Jamie wove it into a story?! Not just to pass it on, perhaps for her own comfort as well.

So, I was actually just talking to my wife about the third part of this last night--the sort of narrative structure of the show and how it breaks up for me in an interesting way with Episode 5. For her, Episode 5 is really helpful in answering questions, and it didn’t bother her at all. For me, Episode 5 is gorgeous--but it’s an intermission between Act 1 (1-4) and Act 2 (6-9). Episode 5 is the only one in the narrative that doesn’t really suit the fact that Jamie is telling this story, and for that to be true, Jamie has to know what’s going on. She wondered why it bothered me for 5, but not for Viola’s story in 8--and this is kind of exactly why. Because Jamie would know what Dani could tell her, and if those walls were breaking down between Dani and Viola, she’d get that story. Maybe in her dreams. Maybe in her waking, after a while. So it reads more true to what Jamie would be capable of narrating. 

As for the rest of your message, Dani as a juxtaposition point to where the Lady was--and what was done to the Lady to make her that way--and where Dani is at the time of her death is interesting to me. They’re both young, headstrong women. They both feel love and devotion to powerful degrees. They both form family bonds, and both are--to a degree--forgotten by part of that family. 

One critical difference, of course, is that Jamie refuses to do what Viola’s husband does. Viola is washed away by being forgotten, yeah, but the thing that strikes me most about her tragedy is that she is willfully forgotten. She is actively removed from her own story. Her sister killing her could read as a mercy, but the narration tells us that--at the very least--Viola certainly doesn’t feel that way. The word wasn’t mercy; the word was enough. As if Viola had earned her own murder. And there’s a lot to unpack there about the sisterhood and the years of quiet violent acts stacking up until Perdita snaps, but for Viola, it’s not going to feel like that. It’s going to feel like her sister murdered her with the express intent of taking her house, her family, and her things. And maybe that wouldn’t have been enough to undo her humanity, but then her husband and her beloved child work together to intentionally cast her off and just...leave her behind. She sort of loses her agency the minute that happens, because when you’re gone, all you have left is what is remembered of you.

And it’s easy to look at the kids forgetting Dani and think the same thing is happening there, but...I mean, that’s what kids do, to a point. Kids that young aren’t going to retain it all. It’s possible they forget because there’s a sort of magic to the curse being broken, and it’s just as possible they forget because kids’ brains are still growing and forming and they just got whisked off to America for the first time, and stuff just...falls away. I think the difference is that the kids forgetting Dani never feels willful to me, like them forgetting Hannah isn’t willful; why would it be? These people were their family. They loved them, they trusted them, but in the long run, they weren’t there for the majority of their lives. You choose the adults you keep in your life, but if those adults aren’t present...if they’re a state or a country away...what is there to do? 

And then Jamie comes back into their lives. And she brings Dani with her. And there has been no decision to erase Dani, no urge to toss her to the bottom of a lake and have done with all the dark memories, because that’s not who Dani was. Dani lived. Dani lived, and she loved as hard and as well as she could for as long as she felt safe doing so. Viola walled herself off when she realized her family was discarding her, and Dani doesn’t really have a similar story in that way--if anyone has a true parallel to Viola, I think it’s actually Henry. Banished by his family. The love of his life choosing his sibling over him. Sitting alone with his grief and his loss and his misery until he’s practically a self-imposed ghost in his own right. He climbs back out of it before it’s too late, but he still spends at least a year just drinking and hiding away from anyone who could help him. Dani doesn’t have that kind of story. She’s not hiding away--she’s trying her absolute best to stay. 

It’s all just a really interesting breakdown of active vs. passive forgetting, and what effect that has on a ghost who can only remain in the memories of loved ones. I think it’s really effectively done. 

[gvbejvmesmichaels]

Task 14: Genderbent

Legal Name: Gabriella Antonia James-Michaels Usually Goes By: Ella Michaels Why: She only kept the James-Michaels because she didn’t want the James name to end with her. She’s never felt as though she was a James or a Conrad. Michaels is the only last name that’s ever felt like hers. Former Names: Gabriella Antonia James (maiden), Gabriella Antonia Conrad (first marriage) Nicknames: Ella (everyone), Briella (Jocelyn) Relationship Status: Married to Jocelyn James-Michaels Past Relationships: Nathan Conrad (ex-husband) Children: Andrew Conrad, Constance Conrad, Arabella James-Michaels (by adoption) Occupation: Professional Tattoo Artist and amateur sculptor. She co-owns a tattoo shop called The Collective with Kaia Johnson where they specialize in Skin Artistry. Higher Education: B.A. in Art History from California State University Los Angeles (prisoner education program), the required certifications to become a professional tattoo artist Tattoos: She honestly doesn’t know how many tattoos she has. She can tell you that all of her tattoos have been done by herself, by Kaia, or by one of the apprentices at The Collective. Her two prized tattoos are 1) her first tattoo she ever did: a crude rendering of her brother’s name on her inner left arm done by stick and poke, 2) the tattoo on her ring finger she talked Joss into giving her. Her wife had been uncomfortable with the idea, and she definitely went too deep in places, but Ella is beyond proud of the shaky Joss printed on her finger. Quirks: Growing up Ella wasn’t allowed to wear pants, which of course means that now she lives in pants and shorts. Ella refuses to wear dresses or skirts. She even wore a fitted pantsuit to her wedding.

Ella James was born and raised in Roswell, New Mexico to extremely conservative parents. Her father was incredibly religious and forced his religious beliefs on his family. He had very strict rules about how Ella was to dress and behave. Her mother was one of those women that wanted nothing more than to be a homemaker. She was more than happy to go along with all her husband’s strict rules because she liked the idea of rules and structure. That was also probably why Ella’s parents only had two children: Ella and her younger brother, George. On the outside, the family appeared to be the American ideal: Husband, wife, and a pair of kids. On the inside, it was hell.

Life in the James household for Ella meant that she was supposed to dress modestly, speak only when spoken to, and only engage in activities that were becoming of women. If her father had it his way, Ella wouldn’t have even gone to school. The only places she was able to go to were school, the family antique shop, and church. So, she took advantage of every opportunity to get out of the house. She signed up for extra art classes, extra home economic classes, and even multiple bible study classes -- anything to get out of the house. Her only saving grace was her little brother, George.

George and Ella were attached at the hip. While Ella’s world outside of the house was art, her brother’s world was aliens. He lived in his own extraterrestrial world, which often brought bullies his way. The worst of the bullies was a boy in Ella’s grade: Nathan Conrad. As much as Nathan harassed George, all it took was a smile from Ella for Nathan to completely forget any bad feelings towards George. It didn’t take long for Ella to figure out that if she dated Nathan, George wouldn’t get picked on any more. As an added perk, her father loved Nathan, which meant Ella was allowed out of the house if she was out on a date with Nathan. So she went with it.

For as long as she could remember, she knew she was a lesbian. She has a very distinct memory of watching Smokey and the Bandit, seeing Sally Fields changing out of her wedding dress in the car and being very jealous of Burt Reynolds. She knew right then and there that she liked girls. The problem was that her family would never accept her sexuality, and she knew it. She’d sat through enough bible study classes to know that her parents believed homosexuality was a sin. So, she knew she needed to play straight until George was out of high school, and they could get out of town. Of course, life had different plans. 

When Ella got pregnant her senior year of high school, she knew she was screwed. Lesbian or not, she knew the only option that didn’t end with her losing custody of her child to her parents would be to marry Nathan. Having a kid at 18 and marrying her high school sweetheart, wasn’t the life she wanted for herself, but it was the life she’d been given. Nathan was very similar to her father so she knew what was expected of her. She was supposed to stay at home and raise their son. It was a miserable life, but it gave her the opportunity to build sculptures as much as she wanted. Besides, as soon as she realized that she was pregnant, she knew there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for her son. She’d never loved anyone as much as she loved George, until she gave birth to Drew. 

As much as she hated being a housewife, she absolutely adored being Drew’s mom. She took to motherhood like a duck to water. Being a mom was the only thing that made life worth living. So when she gave birth to her daughter, Connie, her whole life revolved around her kids. Motherhood gave her purpose, but there was still something missing in her life. So, she started going to parties that the women in the neighborhood used to host: Tupperware, Mary Kay, Avon - housewife parties. Or at least, that was the cover. In reality, they were hook-ups for women needing more attention than what they were getting from their husbands. They would mess around with each other, and go back home to their husbands like nothing happened.

Ella’s life went on like that until 2002. It was just any other normal Thursday. She’d been at a party, and wound up falling asleep. It was two in the morning by the time she stumbled home to a horror show. Her ten year old son, Drew, was sitting in the corner, covered in blood. She followed the trail outside where her brother, George, lay in a pool of his own blood. Immediately, she dropped to her knees and checked for a pulse, but he was long gone. By the time she looked around to see what had happened, it was too late. Nathan had called the police, and Ella was sitting there covered in her brother’s blood. No matter what she said, the police refused to believe her, and she was arrested for her brother’s murder.

The truth was that George was helping her get enough money together to leave Nathan. Her husband was just as terrible as her father had been. All Ella wanted was to escape with her children and start over somewhere she could be herself: like San Francisco or New York. Somehow Nathan had found out, and well… staged George’s murder to frame Ella for a crime she didn’t commit. He could have given a shit about the kids; it was controlling Ella’s life that he wanted, and he got his way and then some.

Her trial ended just as quickly as it started. All the evidence pointed to her, and no matter what she said or what her public defender tried to sell, the jury was primarily made up of men -- and all they saw when they looked at her was a killer. She never had a chance.

Once she was in prison, life got worse -- Nathan filed for divorce and full custody of the kids. As soon as it hit her that she was never going to see her kids again, she sort of gave up. She let herself slip away in prison. She took classes to get a degree in art history, and did tattoos on the girls for cigarettes and juicy romance novels. Ella didn’t exactly take life seriously. As far as she was concerned, she was a lost cause that had nothing to live for once she got out of prison. So, she fucked around where she could and lived in her own world.

Then her stupid cousin, Annie, had to get involved. Annie didn’t believe for one second that Ella would have killed her brother. So she did what she did best: she meddled and needled until 1) Ella was transferred from New Mexico to a prison in Los Angeles County closer to Annie, and 2) she found a lawyer who was willing to reopen Ella’s case -- and that was how Ella met Jocelyn Michaels.

Meeting Jocelyn was the last thing Ella had wanted to do, but hell, was she glad that she’d taken the meeting. Jocelyn was hot as hell, the smartest person she’d ever met, and stubborn as all fuck. Once she heard Ella’s story, she was invested and Ella found herself invested in Joss.

Somewhere between working on the case, they fell in love. If Ella was honest with herself, she never stood a chance with Joss; she’d fallen for her that first time they met. Ella was handling her feelings well enough. It wasn’t like she was acting on her feelings towards the other woman. She’d never actually been in love with anyone before; it was all new for her. And then… she managed to piss someone off in prison. She wasn’t sure what she did, but she’d always been real good at running her mouth, especially back then. One minute she was fine, and the next minute, there was a sharpened spoon sticking out of her side.

There’s not much she remembers about getting stabbed, but when she woke up in the hospital, Jocelyn was there. She knew right then and there that she was going to marry that woman one day. In fact, she must have said that part out loud because then Joss was kissing her, and not even two weeks later, they were married. 

The new trial was probably the most terrifying month of Ella’s life. If they lost the trial, if she lost Joss… She didn’t know what she’d do with herself. But by some miracle, Jocelyn was able to win the case and after serving 8 years for a crime she didn’t commit, she was found innocent, and for the first time in her life, she was free. 

Once she was out of prison, there were still a lot of things that needed to be handled and taken care of. As far as she was concerned, the most important thing was getting back custody of her kids. Drew was 18 by the time she was out of prison, but he was a senior in high school -- it didn’t make sense to have him leave New Mexico when he was so close to graduating. And Connie… She was 14 and wanted nothing to do with her mother. Even if Ella had tried for custody, Connie wouldn’t have gone with her. So, she gave both her kids her number and moved to New York with her wife.

Life in New York took getting used to. It was the first time that Ella had the freedom to figure out who she was, and what she wanted to do with her life. The first thing she knew for sure was that she didn’t want to be a housewife again -- that had been awful. So, while her wife settled back into New York like she had never left, Ella took it upon herself to figure out what she wanted to do. At first she was so overwhelmed that everything seemed like it was too much. So, she started taking long walks around Central Park, just enjoying naturing and exploring. That was how she met Zak. 

Zak was going to Central Park for the same reasons as Ella - he was trying to figure out his life. The difference between them, however, was that Zak had recently transitioned from having HIV to AIDS. He was dying, and he was trying to figure out a way to ensure his partner, Kaia, wouldn’t lose their self in his death. Throughout their short friendship, they figured out a solution. Kaia was a tattoo artist who loved creating pieces of artwork that took over their client’s backs. With Ella’s self-taught tattoo skills from prison, it made sense for the two of them to open a tattoo shop together. Sure, Ella still needed certification and training in styles other than stick and poke, but it gave both herself and Kaia a purpose and something to focus on.

Once Ella and Kaia officially opened the Collective, it was like the second half of her life had begun. For the first time, Ella was making friends she wasn’t related to or sharing a cell with. It had taken her a long time, but she’d found herself. She had a career, she had her wife, and she had multiple dogs. Her life was finally coming together, but there was something missing -- something that had been missing from the beginning: her kids.

When he was twenty, Drew moved to New York. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do in terms of school, but he wanted to be near his mom. Ella was, of course, thrilled. Jocelyn was a little standoffish about the whole thing, but having Drew staying in the guestroom made Ella happy so Joss warmed up to the idea of having at least one of Ella’s kids around. Or so she thought. 

It was around 2013 when Ella’s biological clock started ticking out of control. She wanted a baby, and more importantly, she wanted to have a baby with Joss. If they wanted to have kids with their DNA (in Ella’s head she wanted Drew’s sperm and Joss’s egg), they needed to have a baby now. As much as she begged, and begged, Joss was in the middle of running for DA so it wasn’t a good time to add a baby to their life, but they were 39 so… after many discussions, they froze Ella’s eggs at least. It helped soothe Ella’s ticking clock, but the desire never fully went away.

Instead of a baby, Ella put all her effort into her career and her marriage, but Joss’s career had taken off and her wife typically was swamped with work. Her wife must have realized how unhappy Ella was becoming because when Ella brought up having a baby again in 2017, her wife said they could make an appointment to potentially begin the process of surrogacy. Except… the meeting never happened; not really. Sure, they went, but Joss was so busy with work that nothing ever came of the appointment. So, Ella stewed and flashed back to her first marriage and then, after a particularly bad fight about Joss never being home, Ella left her wife and moved in with Kaia.

As much as she still loved her wife, she’d been unhappy, and if she was honest, she’d jumped from one marriage right into the next, so she did some soul searching. It was during their separation, that Ella refound her first love: clay. There had been a time where she thought she was going to be a world famous artist instead of a tattoo artist that people booked appointments for 6 months in advance. And she’d loved working with clay. So, now that she had free time, she found a local studio and began sculpting again.

After filing for divorce in 2018, Ella got a surprise. Her daughter, Connie, had been living in New York for about a year and had been convicted on a distribution charge. As her daughter’s closest relative and blood relation, she was given custody of her granddaughter, Arabella. Once Bella was put in her arms, Ella knew she was meant to raise Bella -- this was the baby she’d been yearning for. Much like the first time, she took quickly to motherhood, even though it had been decades between children. Unlike the first time, she was a single parent, which was a totally different experience.

By late 2019/early 2020, Ella more or less had her life together. She knew who she was, the shop was flourishing, she had an insane amount of YouTube followers who liked to watch her sculpt, and she finally had the single (grand)mom thing down. It was then that she realized that the one thing that was missing from her life was her ex-wife. The problem was that it looked like Joss had moved on, and yet, Ella still found herself trying to reconnect with her ex-wife. 

Falling back into a relationship with the other woman had almost been too easy. It was like going home again. Working on their relationship and getting back together had been great and fine until they were quarantined together with a two year old, and Ella found out they were still technically married. Joss had never filed the signed petition for divorce. If there was anything that could have fouled up their reunion - it was that. But somehow (and with the help of an annoying marriage counselor via Zoom), they were able to reclaim their marriage.

October 13, 2021 will mark one year of being remarried (okay, vow renewal). Ella has no idea where the time has gone, but she knows two things for absolute certain: one - she’s the person she was always meant to be, and two - she’s married to the  absolute love of her life. Things in her life may have been rough, but those things led her to where she was meant to be, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She hadn’t suffered through the bad, she never would have been able to appreciate the good.

[8uggestionamplifie6]

I was just reading some fanfics about what if anidala became public, and I realized somthing...

Anidala is dumb. Like, nothing about it does makes sense.

In most fanfics I read, the author blames the Jedi Code for being too strict and causing Anakin to Fall or whatever, which I understand BUT I myself also have a probably unpopular opinion.

I, a human being with emotions and feelings, AGREE with the Jedi Order's no-attachment rule or at least most of it. And you know why?

If I had a lover whom I were willing to ANYTHING for (killing, genocide, murdering, manipulating, etc.), I would Fall and become a Sith within seconds. Just like Anakin did. If I were a superhero who was attached to somebody, I would GLADLY watch Earth burn if it meant saving that one single person. I would kill innocents, I would pillage and murder and kill and do so many bad things—all in the name of saving this person.

Morally, THAT is extremely wrong on so many levels. Killing people and being selfish to an outlandish degree is wrong, no matter the justification.

Choosing ONE PERSON over THE ENTIRE GALAXY is wrong. That goes against everything about being a Jedi. Being a Jedi means being selfless, means caring about the galaxy at large, means putting the galaxy first. The Jedi are a people who look at the bigger picture and care about the bigger picture. They aren't selfish, they don't love possesively, and they don't put the people they love over the galaxy. A single life for the betterment of the galaxy after all, a sentiment which I wholeheartedly respect.

(Because starting a war, killing people, and committing various atrocious crimes is NOT something you should do, not something a JEDI should do.)

And Anakin KNEW THIS. He took those kriffing Jedi Knight vows WILLINGLY, just like how he took those marriage vows with Padme willingly. Most marriage vows consist of putting their relationship, their love, and their spouse above all else, which means that Anakin took these vows that heavily contradict Jedi Oaths and beliefs and HE KNEW BUT HE STILL TOOK THEM.

He was a Jedi. He could have left the Order. Sure, there was a war going on but NO ONE WAS FORCING HIM TO STAY. He could have left.

You can argue that Anakin had enough morals at the time to not just leave when there was a war, but that does not mean that he is excused for marrying Padme. He did not need to marry her if that were the case. If he were that in love with her, they should have just dated. Because they could not promise anything. They could not promise that they would make it out of the war alive. They could not promise that they would choose their love over their duties. They could not promise anything.

Which why they got married, I guess, which makes sense on some level. But if they already couldn't promise anything to each other then why did they take vows that they knew they might not be able to keep?

And if Anakin was going to choose the war, choose being a Jedi, over being a husband and lover to Padme, the wife he willingly made vows to, he shouldn't have married her in the first place then.

(In a relationship, both spouses must be treated equally. No one should come above the other and they should love and support each other. No wife nor husband deserves to be ignored when they deserve so much better, when they deserve the attention and love of their spouse and not be ignored. They deserve to get the full extent of their marriage vows.)

And I'm pretty sure that if they both had told the Jedi Council, they would have helped Anakin phrase his vows to Padme differently, in a way that would allow him to be both a Jedi and a husband without compromising either roles. If Ki-Adi Mundi could balance being a Jedi and being married then so could have Anakin. Except he didn't ask for help and that is why he inadvertently ended up chaining himself to the selfish vows of marriage and the selfless vows being a Jedi.

(I am not hating on people who are selfish because being selfish is a natural thing. Being selfish is okay, but being super selfish to the point where it makes no sense is not okay.)

Being married means being in a committed and serious relationship that is fair and equal and healthy. If Anakin was not ready for that level of commitment yet then he shouldn't have married Padme. He could not be both a Jedi and a husband, but he still wanted the best of both worlds and he COULD NOT LET GO of what he saw as HIS or HIS RIGHT TO HAVE.

He knew this. Anakin freaking knew the vows he was taking and he STILL TOOK THEM.

And yet, despite knowing this and despite taking his Jedi oaths, at the end of the day, when Padme's name was put on a list of all the people in the galaxy, only hers was the one that stood out and mattered to Anakin. Thousands, millions, billions of other names with histories and families did not matter when compared to Padme.

Which is why Anakin and Padme's relationship is so dumb and so selfish.

Because Anakin was willing to do ANYTHING for Padme (killing, maiming, becoming a Sith, you name it and he would do it without looking back at the destruction and mayhem he left behind in his footsteps) and their relationship was NOT particularly healthy either.

Anakin straight-up force-choked Padme and that is most definitely physical abuse

Let's be real here and face the truth. Anakin is possessive. He does not love selflessly. He loves obsessively and like a slaver (which is ironic, I know). Because he loved the IDEA of Padme and the IDEA of Luke & Leia. He had not seen Padme in over a decade during AotC and yet he was already in love with her. Like I said, Anakin was in love with the IDEA of Padme because she was HIS angel, just like how Luke and Leia were HIS children. He nearly killed Clovis for talking to and showing interest in Padme!

Their relationship was NOT balanced or equal. Anakin constantly had more power in their relationship.

Their marriage was not fair to Padme. She deserves so much (but not the destruction of the entire galaxy) and yet all she got were stolen moments with a husband she saw only once every 3-4 months. Anakin chose being a Jedi over her and no wife deserves to be placed second, especially not during the first or second or third years of their marriage and after they took specific marriage vows. Which is why they shouldn't have married in the first place. If Anakin was already going to choose fighting in the war over her, then he should have respected his vows as a Jedi and not taken marriage vows with Padme.

A SECURE relationship does not have these sort of problems.

Not to mention that they had only known each other for a mere WEEK before getting married and Anakin, by Jedi standards, was a CHILD, A PADAWAN, when he got married to Padme and Padme was five years older than him. I don't care too much about the age-gap but they should have waited for a few more years at least. Anakin was still a teenager. He hadn't fully grown into himself yet. In contrast, Padme already had and she should have waited for Anakin to mature and turn into a proper adult (mentally and emotionally because we all know he was not doing so well there).

In most cases, marrying young is a bad idea and doesn't really work because neither partners have fully developed into themselves or attained the experience they need for the real world yet. This means that the two spouses would have to learn to grow TOGETHER in order to keep their marriage, but for all their innocent young minds knew at the time they got married, they were apparently the 'perfect match'. This is why most young marriages end in a divorce because the couple does not grow as human beings together and instead grow apart because they are realizing that they are not so compatible as they first seemed.

And yes, Padme is just as much at fault as Anakin is.

She should have known better. She should have made better decisions. She was a politician and she should have known getting married to a Jedi was a bad idea. If their marriage ever got out to the public, her political career would be ruined and Anakin would have to leave the Jedi Order.

(And we all know that, for Padme, her career as a politician that can help people matters quite a lot to her, perhaps even more than Anakin.)

Being the Senator and representative of Naboo means being neutral in many legislations except Naboo affairs. If any legislation or laws about the Jedi Order came up in the Senate, she would be incapable of being neutral because Anakin is a Jedi and that's all that matters to her. If their relationship is revealed, all her decisions and votes on legislations/laws passed or talked about in the Senate would be questioned and scrutinized by her enemies and friends in the political community.

(Let's not even mention how she traded Grevious for Anakin during the Clone Wars without consulting with anyone. They could have taken out a major player right there! But no, she decided to be selfish and ignore her duties.)

Additionally, Padme took vows per her people's customs and she told NO ONE. Not her family, not her friends, not her people, nobody. Same thing for Anakin because he didn't tell anything to Obi-Wan, his guardian at the time, or the Council.

Neither Anakin nor Padme were ready for marriage when they did. They had their vows and their duties, but they ultimately decided that being selfish was the way to go.

The only reason why their marriage appeared to work during the Clone Wars is because of how little time they truly spent together. Instead of spending time together and trying to see which pieces fit where and whether their edges and curves complemented each other or not, Anakin was constantly on the battlefield and Padme was constantly in the Senate. During the small quiet moments they did have as a couple during the Clone Wars, they still did not have enough time to see if they would slot into each other like missing pieces or if they were actually compatible.

They didn't have that sort of time or luxury during the Clone Wars.

Which leads me to believe that Anakin and Padme would likely have gotten a divorce the moment they had to spend more than two weeks in each other's presence. Because, assuming the war had ended positively without order 66 and with palpacreep being killed, they would inevitably have to spend a lot of time with each other. And during the past 3 years of warfare and turmoil and strife, they had both grown into their own individual persons and the time they spent with each other during the war had not been enough to showcase that fact. Now, with the war ended, they suddenly have that time on their hands now and they both would realize just how much the other had changed and how different they really were. Because they had NOT grown TOGETHER like a couple should, they had grown separately.

The only way I can imagine Anakin and Padme staying together is for Luke and Leia, but even that's iffy. They'd probably just get a divorce and fight in court about custody rights and whatnot (and Padme would most definitely end up winning). If they do happen to stay together, they would be arguing left and right, and thus create a toxic environment for Luke and Leia to grow up in. I'd bet they'd be so focused on arguing with each other and trying to get their careers back that they'd unintentionally neglect babies Luke and Leia without even realizing it.

(And Obi-Wan, being the kind man that he is, would probably end up playing babysitter or something. Same for Ahsoka. And we all know just how much paperwork and problems they already have to deal with. They'd both be so exhausted taking care of the twins but at least they'll reconnect as grandmaster and grandpadawan.)

In other words, Anakin and Padme should never have gotten married or even been in a relationship. They were not ready for the things and details that come with being in a relationship and their reckless actions reflect that.

If they were going to be in a stable and secure relationship, then Anakin would have needed some serious therapy sessions before that and so would Padme because she literally heard him confess to murdering innocent men/women/children for the death of his mother and she IGNORED THOSE RED FLAGS. So obviously, they both deserve a therapist each.

In short, Anakin and Padme were both selfish people who made selfish decisions that badly affected the galaxy as a whole.

They should never have gotten together.

.

.

Remember, this is my opinion. If you don't agree, that's okay and I WILL respect your opinion. I'm not going to force you to see it my way because you're you and I'm me. We're different people with different opinions and that's okay, understand? Okay, good.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 43 - watching notes

The sun is setting on this show for me and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet 😔

(As if I will! Ha. Imma blog about nothing else the next ... probably years)

Last time on Sophie watches the untamed: We're still in the restricted section. The twin love-struck idiots of lan and wwx found the Collection of turmoil and suspect Jin Guangyao of intentionally bringing about Nie Mingjue's qui deviation.

As much as I love the "hihi. Wwx is wearing his boyfriend's underrobe" aspect of this, I also like the visual incorporation of lwj's colour scheme into wwx's clothes. (Not just through the undertone, his black tone also has slight grey seam.) It's as if now that they are finally fully committed to each other, wwx is displaying it for all the world to see

Jin Guangyao tore out a page to hide the evidence. That's not how to do that!!!

My heart is breaking for Lan Xichen. He looks like a man standing on a train track and watching the light speed towards him in horror while he's unable to move away

Feels like exactly no one on this show is getting their happy ending

*thinks about yi city and cries forever*😭😭😭

"Wangji, Jin Guangyao,in my eyes, is a totally different person from how you and other people see him." And we all know that lwj knows exactly what that's like

PARALLELS! 😭

(Sorry, I have a thing for those)

And lwj looks so pained

Thinking about it, it's now the man lwj loves against the man lxc loves (in whatever way. I still ship them. Not sure if its "canonically" romantic though). They can't both be right, so ... one of them is going to get their heart broken

Great, first the Yunmeng brothers, now the lan brothers are breaking my heart 🥺

Lwj says he's visiting "Grand Master", that's Lan Qiren right? What happened to him anyway? Haven't seen him in ages

I love how, even though it is wwx's word against jgy's right now, lan Xichen is still genuinely kind towards wwx

The whipping scars! I hadn't even thought about those anymore 😳

I'm probably going to get my heart ripped out soon, but before that

"You are not qualified to talk to me."

Sickest. Burn. Ever.

Also, no disrespect to the actor, but that's a backpfeifengesicht if I've ever seen one

(Backpfeifengesicht: "German compound word for a 'face that should be slapped'. Ex:. When GWB smirks on TV, my German friend Uwe tells me that he sees a 'Backpfeifengesicht'." Urban dictionary)

He went to burial mount after wwx was killed??? 🥺🥺🥺

I've noticed something with lwj. When he's distressed, he won't look people in the eye or not even at their faces, just in their very general direction. To me it seems like he almost... can't? Any thoughts on that? Cause I'm intrigued but I can't think about it too much right now cause I'm already writing half an essay in this commentary again 😅

Oh fuck YOU Jiggy!!!

Holy shit ... holy shit

Lan Wangji 🥺🥺🥺

He fought against everyone?

This is how he showed his grieve???

He went to the place wei Wuxian had called home and ... what? Protected or ot so they wouldn't desecrate it? To search for him? To ... what?

Oh god, Wangji! 😭

That image... I'm speechless. It's so powerful

He's half-mad with grieve and kneeling in the ruins of his dead loves home, having fought himself to exhaustion and I'm... not okay 😭😭😭

He had to repent for THREE YEARS??

Oh no, you don't

Holy ...

Holy shit

How can my heart break and be so full at the same time 💔🥺

Lan Wangji ... my love

I'm ... so proud of him and yet so sad

Here he is at his lowest, finally standing up to the orthodoxy he knows to be wrong

This is inhumane 😳

The corporal punishment of the lan sect always was but THIS

Fuck them

Or Lan Qiren specifically

That's his nephew. How can he even look at himself?

"Eradicate evil. Establish laws. Than goodness will be everlasting."

IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY!!!

WHAT EVEN IS "GOODNESS"? WHOSE VERSION OF GOODNESS? DEVINE EVIL! HOW FAR REACHING INTO THE PRIVATE SVERE SHOULD THUSE LAWS BE? DOES IT STOP AT "DON'T STEAL FROM PEOPLE OR AT "DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE AT DINNER"?

what I'm saying is: there are about 200 ethical question ls being raised by this rule alone!

And now lan Wangji had 3 tears to contemplate them

Wwx asking "why would he bother ...?" BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!

Ohhh! We're getting their parents' story 😱

Oh this IS a Lan episode 💙

So another Lan falling quickly and never looking back?

I'm sensing a pattern here 🤨

Wait what?

Let me get this straight:

Their father loved a woman who DID NOT love him back and then killed one of his teachers

(And I hope we find out why. That sounds like there is a REALLY interesting story there)

Then he takes her to cloud recess and DESPIT HER NOT LOVING HIM, marries her, fathers two children with her (um... how voluntary was that????) locks her up (as punishment for the murder?) then locks HIMSELF up and then fucks of and leaves his children with their uncle

What kind of disaster human being was their dad????

Did he do the right thing WHEN HE MARRIED AND PROBABLY RAPED A WOMAN WHO DIDN'T LOVE HIM???

NO!!!

The fuck kinda question is that ??

If you have to marry her against her will and then lock her up, guess what? That's not love, that's wanting to possess someone

I hope that maybe the connotation is different in the og Chinese,but I'm not holding out much hope

That explains why Qiren is such a lovely character through 😒

But god, my heart breaks for lwj and lxc :'(

Little Lan Wangji!!! 🥺🥺🥺

Oh darling ...

Oh no ...

Look at him look at his crooked little headband😭😭😭

He went there every month!!!

Oh Wangji 💔💔

Stubborn, steadfast, loving Wangji!

That seals it. I KNEW why he was my favourite character

He isn't so passive all the time, because he feels too little! He feels entirely too much!!! 😭😭😭

And that explains why lwj was so worried about wwx's demonic cultivation harming him!!! 😭

Oh god, it was such an old hurt for him. I had no idea 🥺🥺🥺

All of these characters need a therapist

Lxc playing the flute to what ... deal with his emotions? Express his grieve? Remeber their mother? (And god, do I want to know more about her!!) Either way, It's making me tear up 😥

"It's so difficult to determine others personalities depending on our perspective." Welcome to the human condition, my friend 💙

And that's love

I ... wish I could show you my face right now

I'm smiling through tears right now

It's so utterly beautiful

He looks so vulnerable here! With his hair (almost) down

And given what we've just learned, that's remarkable!!!

He closed himself off became the immovable stone-faced second Jade of Lan and yet, somehow, wwx wormed his way into his heart and sure, both of them needed to overcome a lot, but here they are, vulnerable and open,not letting their parent's fate decide theirs

I'm... *sniff*

I can never get enough of lwj with his hair like this!!

It's so domestic, so soft

And look at his face! 😭

And mister "alcohol is prohibited" is now serving it 😭

Oh my god this scene is so beautiful

I'm speechless

Was the second flute Jin Guangyao as well?

At this point I'm just expecting more plot-twists

He looks so young! 🥺

Both of them are exhibiting so much growth in this episode!! Wwx realising that the fact that the cultivation world had always looked for a scapegoat and that he himself was just the most convenient target, that it's not to any personal failing of his, that's HUGE!

And I'm so proud of him :')

Lwj starting to play in the distance :')

This is so utterly peaceful

My heart is bursting 😭😭😭

The music, the scenery ...

Also, both thinking they have a clean conscious!!! 😭😭😭

Again, it's them holding the same morals that's important! I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

(But wwx still cannot drink like a normal person :D)

The contrast to lxc sitting alone couldn't be starker 😔

Wait, why are there puppets at burial mounds again?

Are we going back to burial mounds? I'm weirdly excited 😅

Aaand Jin Guangyao just proved to them that he's lying. Poor Xichen

Yup, I'm pretty sure his heart just snapped in half

Little Apple!!! I've missed him 😁

Gosh, they're laying it on thick with the domestic husband bliss this episode and I'm here for it.

I love lwj's soft smile when he looks at bunnies so much!! 🥰

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere

It's the invasion of the bunnies

Who ever is the show runner *banging pots and pans together* IT'S GAY!! cab you all hear me? These two love each other! It's G - A - Y!!! Gay!!!

Probably

Lwj's shocked look when wwx says that he's not popular with little animals, as if to say "how dare they!" :D

Holy shit ... HOW MANY SCENES CAN THEY INCLUDE IN THIS EPISODE THAT MAKE THEM LOOK SO GODDAMN MARRIED???

Is wwx sitting side saddle?

Wwx plays wangxian :')

He finally remembers how lwj recognized him :')

Sneaky, show, very sneaky :D

Wwx about to casually steal some melons, lwj *wordlessly takes out money* ^^

MIANMIAN!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

I'd given up hope that we'd see her again!!!

I'm so happy I could burst!!!

Lwj's little exasperated head-shake before he stands up from crouching behind some hay 😂

Aww, look at her family! 😍😍😍

She build her own live :')

And look at this badass woman protecting the ones she loves!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WEI WUXIAN??? You don't remember her???

You better remember my wife!!!

Aaand another freeze frame. But I'm willing to forgive it because THIS EPISODE WAS SO GODDAMN BRILLIANT!

It made me realise why I was so drawn to lan Wangji as a character. Of course he is mu favourite character! He ticks every single box

Let me explain. My favourite characters almost always share the following characteristics: seems either cold and distant or ethereal and aloof, as if they are above such puny human things like feelings™️(bonus if they're actually not human and their argument is "I'm [insert species]. We can't feel [insert emotion they are definetly feeling very strongly]"). then, over the course of the story, we (along with they themselves because they were in denial) discover that it's not that they feel too little, they feel entirely too much. They're a sea of emotions so deep that the surface is calm, but don't you dare be near them when the storm is coming because all hell will break loose. (extra bonus point if that storm involves them rebelling against the oppressive society they were born into and adhered to until then because they realise their consciousness won't allow it any longer.) afterwards they realise that making themselves vulnerable once in a while is actually a good thing and they proceed to fuck the Rebel™️ who they've secretly been in love with the entire time, a feeling they only now allow themselves to act on

The last part sadly isn't always canon, but who has ever had time for that?

You know what this episode made me realise most of all? The Lan sect are just as human as the rest of them. In fact, they seem to be especially prone to acting rashly on strong emotions. (I don't remember the exact story, but didn't the founder of the Lan sect also have some kind of tragic love story?) It should be obvious, but the impression you get is that they are so detached from their wants, so rigorous and disciplined in their righteousness, that they are almost super-human. But no. Thise 3000 and some rules? They weren't born out of some enlightened mind that had the secret of live figures out, they're a crutch. Abiding by them without question rids one of responsibility to make even the tiniest moral choice for oneself. But that won't work because a) they're bounty to contradict each other at some point and b) that's not how human beings work. They're messy and unpredictable and beautifully complicated. The way Lan Qiren choses to apply them, he completely disregards that. At that point, the rules aren't there anymore to grant a harmonious society, but simply for their own sake. (Or maybe as a wall to hide behind)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

I think this liveblog has been the longest so far. I'm sorry for going on so many tangents, but lwj's backstory hit me really hard. I hope you guys weren't too bored 💚

(I also apologise for the mountains of typos that probably accumulated in this post. I'm too tired to check.)

[rockislandadultreads]

Historical Fiction: Biographical Stories

Fates and Traitors by Jennifer Chiaverini

The New York Times bestselling author of Mrs. Lincoln’s Dressmaker returns with a riveting work of historical fiction following the notorious John Wilkes Booth and the four women who kept his perilous confidence. John Wilkes Booth, the mercurial son of an acclaimed British stage actor and a Covent Garden flower girl, committed one of the most notorious acts in American history—the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. The subject of more than a century of scholarship, speculation, and even obsession, Booth is often portrayed as a shadowy figure, a violent loner whose single murderous act made him the most hated man in America. Lost to history until now is the story of the four women whom he loved and who loved him in return: Mary Ann, the steadfast matriarch of the Booth family; Asia, his loyal sister and confidante; Lucy Lambert Hale, the senator’s daughter who adored Booth yet tragically misunderstood the intensity of his wrath; and Mary Surratt, the Confederate widow entrusted with the secrets of his vengeful plot. Fates and Traitors brings to life pivotal actors—some willing, others unwitting—who made an indelible mark on the history of our nation. Chiaverini portrays not just a soul in turmoil but a country at the precipice of immense change.

Under the Wide and Starry Sky by Nancy Horan

The passionate and turbulent story of Robert Louis Stevenson and his tempestuous American wife, Fanny.

At the age of thirty-five, Fanny van de Grift Osbourne leaves her philandering husband in San Francisco and sets sail for Belgium to study art, with her three children and a nanny in tow. Not long after her arrival, however, tragedy strikes, and Fanny and her brood repair to a quiet artists' colony in France where she can recuperate. There she meets Robert Louis Stevenson, ten years her junior, who is instantly smitten with the earthy, independent and opinionated belle Americaine.

A woman ahead of her time, Fanny does not immediately take to the young lawyer who longs to devote his life to literature, and who would eventually write such classics as Treasure Island and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In time, though, she succumbs to Stevenson's charms. The two begin a fierce love affair, marked by intense joy and harrowing darkness, which spans decades as they travel the world for the sake of his health. Eventually they settled in Samoa, where Robert Louis Stevenson is buried underneath the epitaph:

Under the wide and starry sky, Dig the grave and let me lie. Glad did I live and gladly die, And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me: Here he lies where he longed to be; Home is the sailor, home from sea, And the hunter home from the hill.

The Unquiet Grave by Sharyn McCrumb

Lakin, West Virginia, 1930 Following a suicide attempt and consigned to a segregated insane asylum, attorney James P. D. Gardner finds himself under the care of Dr. James Boozer. Fresh out of medical school, Dr. Boozer is eager to try the new talking cure for insanity, and encourages his elderly patient to reminisce about his experiences as the first black attorney to practice law in nineteenth-century West Virginia. Gardner's most memorable case was the one in which he helped to defend a white man on trial for the murder of his young bride—a case that the prosecution based on the testimony of a ghost. Greenbrier, West Virginia, 1897 Beautiful, willful Zona Heaster has always lived in the mountains of West Virginia. Despite her mother’s misgivings, Zona marries Erasmus Trout Shue, the handsome blacksmith who has recently come to Greenbrier County. After weeks of silence from the newlyweds, riders come to the Heasters’ place to tell them that Zona has died from a fall, attributed to a recent illness. Mary Jane is determined to get justice for her daughter. A month after the funeral, she informs the county prosecutor that Zona’s ghost appeared to her, saying that she had been murdered. An autopsy, ordered by the reluctant prosecutor, confirms her claim. The Greenbrier Ghost is renowned in American folklore, but Sharyn McCrumb is the first author to look beneath the legend to unearth the facts. Using a century of genealogical material and other historical documents, McCrumb reveals new information about the story and brings to life the personalities in the trial: the prosecutor, a former Confederate cavalryman; the defense attorney, a pro-Union bridgeburner, who nevertheless had owned slaves; and the mother of the murdered woman, who doggedly sticks to her ghost story—all seen through the eyes of a young black lawyer on the cusp of a new century, with his own tragedies yet to come.

Prisoner B-3087 by Alan Gratz

Survive. At any cost. 10 concentration camps. 10 different places where you are starved, tortured, and worked mercilessly. It's something no one could imagine surviving. But it is what Yanek Gruener has to face. As a Jewish boy in 1930s Poland, Yanek is at the mercy of the Nazis who have taken over. Everything he has, and everyone he loves, have been snatched brutally from him. And then Yanek himself is taken prisoner -- his arm tattooed with the words PRISONER B-3087. He is forced from one nightmarish concentration camp to another, as World War II rages all around him. He encounters evil he could have never imagined, but also sees surprising glimpses of hope amid the horror. He just barely escapes death, only to confront it again seconds later. Can Yanek make it through the terror without losing his hope, his will -- and, most of all, his sense of who he really is inside?

[femalechibiblogger]

Mae Borowski Character Bio (Night in the Woods)

Age: 20

Occupation: College Student (dropped-out)

Family: Stan Borowski (father), Candy Borowski (mother), Aunt Molly (aunt), Grandfather (deceased)

Likes: Hanging with Gregg, playing bass, smashing stuff, walking on power lines, traveling through tunnels, being home, her parents, her grandpa’s ghost stories, reconnecting with old friends, feeling safe, tacos, pizza, fitting in, constellations, poetry, Witch Dagger, reminiscing about old times, horror movies, the train tracks, music.

Dislikes: Remembering ‘The Incident’, being away from home, fighting with friends, arguing with her parents, The Cult, having anxiety, mushy romance, school, beer, losing friends, being judged by her past, being forced to be someone she’s not, Possum Springs falling apart.

Voice Actor: None

Description

Mae Borowski is the main character of the mystery-thriller game: Night in the Woods. Mae is a 20 year old, college dropout who returns to her hometown, Possum Springs, and reconnects with her old friends: Bea, Gregg, and Angus. But many things have changed since she was last home, and Mae soon uncovers a dark secret within the town.

Personality

Mae is a tomboy with a troubled past. For some years, she has had a history of depression, anger issues, social anxiety, and has even suffered from hallucinations. Mae’s mental state has caused her problems throughout her life, and has landed her in trouble. Mae has a reputation of being a troublemaker and a delinquent, which is why she didn’t have many friends as a child. 

When Mae returns to Possum Springs, she has a difficult time adjusting to the changes that occured while she was gone. Mae tries to reconnect with her friends, but it proves to be a bit more difficult than she thought. Mae has a hard time adjusting to change. She is saddened to see that some of the places she loved years before are no longer around, like the restaurant ‘Pastabilities’ and the old Maellard float. Mae also has a hard time adjusting to the fact that her friends all have jobs and responsibilities, and are no longer as carefree as her. 

When angry, Mae will take her anger out by smashing bottles or breaking things. When she is very frustrated with someone, she will snap back at them for being so depressing and thinking that she doesn’t understand how they feel. She is especially like this towards her old friend, Bea, who had to give-up on her dreams of going to college in order to run her family’s store. 

Mae suffers from depression and social anxiety, which is shown to be quite severe if she is in an unfamiliar place. The reason Mae dropped out of college was because she grew very depressed and scared, as she had never been away from home before, and even began to suffer from hallucinations. She would either scarf down a whole pizza at once or go hungry, and couldn’t even sleep unless she downed a bottle of cold medicine. Mae has low confidence when it comes to her appearance and personality, as she does not believe that she is attractive, and even believes that everyone hates her. 

However, Mae is shown to have a kind and caring side. She tries to be optimistic and encouraging towards her friends when they are down. For example: She tried to tell Bea that her life was not over, and that she still had her whole life ahead of her. She also comforts Gregg when he starts badmouthing himself, and voices her disgust towards Angus’ abusive family. Mae also worries about a group of kids who hang out in the tunnels when she witnesses someone being kidnapped, and advised them to be careful. Mae is also willing to listen to someone’s concerns and worries, and also shows interest in their likes and hobbies. 

Mae shows a natural talent in demolition, as some have pointed out that demolition would be a good career for her. She also shows an interest in stars and constellations, and loves to hear the stories behind them. Mae likes to hear about Possum Springs history, especially if it involves mystery and ghosts. 

Mae is hinted to be pansexual. She had briefly dated a guy named ‘Cole’ when she was in high school, and even took a bit of interest in a girl that she met at a party. Mae doesn’t care about any specific genders when it comes to dating, and states that she is not too picky about it. She may not be aware that she is pansexual, as she does not know what that word even means.

Relationships

Stan Borowski: Stan Borowski is Mae’s father. He is a friendly but forgetful person, as he forgot which day Mae was supposed to come home from college. Stan loves Mae very much, and often urges her to spend time with him by watching tv with him. He likes to tell jokes that others do not find funny, and works hard to provide for his family. In the past, Stan had worked as a miner and even worked at the glass factory...before they were both shut down. He now works at the store ‘Ham Panther’, but admits that he hates it due to the low pay and lack of union. Mae mentions that he used to drink when he worked at the mine, but had to quit when he began to put his wife and daughter in danger (he likely became reckless while drunk). Like his wife, Stan wants what’s best for Mae and often worries about her. 

Candy Borowski: Candy Borowski is Mae’s mother. She is a kind and caring woman who loves her daughter very much, and is very patient with her. Throughout the game, Candy tries to get Mae to tell her why she dropped out of college...but Mae always avoids to answer her. Mae loves her mom, but the two of them often butt heads with each other. Candy may have pressured Mae to go to college, as she and her husband had high hopes for her after having multiple miscarriages before Mae was born. Candy can end up snapping at Mae, but the two of them make-up after talking things out. Candy often worries about Mae’s safety and well-being. Candy works at the church doing administrative work, and shares Mae’s love of murder mysteries.

Aunt Molly: Molly is Mae’s aunt and Candy’s sister. Molly is a police officer who takes her job very seriously. Mae doesn’t really get along with her, mostly because Molly is a cop and Mae often makes trouble. Despite the hostility, Molly really loves and cares about Mae, as she only wants Mae it be safe and to stay out of trouble. Mae knows that Molly is just trying to protect her, and will try to stay out of trouble when needed.

Mae’s Grandfather: Mae had a good relationship with her grandfather. He would often tell her ghost stories when she was a child, which is how she got her love for them. Like Mae, he was a bit of a troublemaker when he was young, and even vandalized his boss’ car because of the low pay and poor conditions. Mae’s grandfather worked in the mines when he was younger, and may have known about the mine workers pulling the teeth of their employers out. He was Stan’s father, and had passed away some time before the events of the game. He appears as a ghost in the Church library.

Beatrice ‘Bea’ Santello: Bea was Mae’s best friend until 7th grade. The two of them have known each other since they were little, and were even like sisters. The two of them grew apart in 7th grade, when Mae started hanging out with Gregg. Despite this, Mae still considered Bea to be her best friend, but was unaware of the hostilities between them. Bea had wanted to go to college after graduating high school...but her mother passed away during her senior year and her father grew depressed, to the point where he just stays home and no longer tends the store. Bea had to give-up her dreams of going to college, move out of her house and into a small apartment with her dad, and take over the store instead. Bea resented Mae for being able to go to college, and grew hostile towards her even more when she dropped out after two years and returned to Possum Springs. Because of the hardships that she faced, Bea has become pessimistic and cold after being forced to give up her dreams and witness Possum Spring’s economy slowly decaying. Unlike Mae, Bea is more grounded in reality, and has no time or patience for childish things. When Mae tries to help, Bea becomes angry and believes that Mae has no idea how hard life really is. Mae tries to help Bea realize that her life isn’t over, and that she can one day make her dreams come true. Bea thinks of this as just wishful thinking, and lets out all of her pent up frustrations. In the end, Bea and Mae apologize to each other for how they both acted, and their relationship slowly becomes more stable. When Mae told Bea why she dropped out of college, Bea voiced her concerns and realized that Mae has been dealing with serious issues her whole life. Bea was very worried when Mae was hurt by a cultist and was unwilling to let her confront them alone, as she revealed that Mae was like a sister to her. In the end, the two of them officially makeup and plan to go on a road trip together. Bea plays the drums on her laptop in their band.

Gregg Lee: Gregg is one of Mae’s bestest friends since 7th grade. Mae and Gregg often caused trouble and would often commit crimes together. Gregg is rebellious and talkative compared to his boyfriend, Angus who is tech savvy and quiet. Mae and Gregg are like brother and sister and are able to understand each other, as they both deal with problems involving mental illness and insecurities. Gregg is likely bipolar, as he states that he has ‘up days’ and ‘down days’ (Bea definitely believes that Gregg is bipolar). Like Mae, Gregg believes that people don’t like him, but Mae reassures him that he is loved very much. Gregg loves Angus very much, but he believes that Angus could do better than him...but Angus loves Gregg very much, and Mae believes that their relationship will survive. Gregg works at the Snack Falcon, so he and Angus could save money so they can move to Bright Harbor. Mae does not want Gregg and Angus to move away, but Gregg tells Mae that she can visit them in Bright Harbor any time. Gregg plays the electric guitar in their band. 

Angus Delaney: Angus is Gregg’s boyfriend and one of Mae’s closest friends. At first, Angus and Mae were not very close, but would hang out with each other because of Gregg. Angus is quiet, humble, and tech savvy. Angus wishes for Gregg to not commit crimes with Mae and hints that Mae may not be a good influence on Gregg, as he and Gregg are trying to save money so they can move to Bright Harbor. However, Angus is willing to help Mae when her laptop was glitching from a virus. He also allows Mae to hang out with him and Gregg...though he wanted it to just be him and Gregg. Angus does care about Mae, as he was very worried about her when she got drunk at a campfire party, and was willing to help and protect her when the cult was after her. Angus also told Mae about how he was abused as a child by his parents, to which she voiced her disgust and showed that she cared about him very much. The two of them become closer as friends as the game progresses. Angus works at the video store, and is the lead singer of their band.

Germ Warfare: Germ is one of Mae friends. Germ is two years younger than Mae, and have known each other for quite some time due to their friendship with Gregg. Germ is a bit of a mysterious person, as he often shows up out of nowhere and then disappears. Germ hints that he knows about the cult, as they had tried to sacrifice him at one point and was stalked by them...though he seems to have been spared since his disappearance would have definitely been noticed by his friends and family. Germ sees Mae as someone whom he can relate to, as they both have problems related to Possum Springs’ dying economy and being lonely. Germ often asks Mae to hang out with him, and even introduces her to his family. He lives with his parents, uncles, grandma and sisters. He had a brother who died, and states that if ghosts were real...then he would have been able to see his late-brother. Germ often watches Mae, Bea, Gregg and Angus’ band practices, and seems to enjoy their music. Germ and Mae become closer as friends as they continue to hang out together.

Selmers: Selmers is a girl who lives in Mae’s neighborhood. Selma is laid-back and easygoing, and is often seen sitting on the stoop of her house. In the past, Selmers was addicted to painkillers and even stole them from the Ham Panther when she worked there...which led her to do some jail time and spent some time in rehab. Selmers had also been married to a guy named ‘Dennis’...until he left her for a girl he met at a gas station. Selmers is a recovered addict who writes poetry, and is even a member of the Possum Springs Poetry Society. Mae often listens to Selmers’ poetry whenever she walks by her house, and likes to listen to her poetry and cheers her on. When Mae had been injured by one of the cult members, Selmers was upset and was angry that someone had hurt Mae so badly. Selmers want to live near the beach one day, something that Mae believes is a wonderful idea.

Lori Meyers: Lori is a 14 year old girl who often hangs out on the rooftops. Like Mae, Lori is a socially awkward and is a bit of a troublemaker. Lori tends to hang out by herself, but Mae ends up hanging out with her on the rooftops and train tracks. Lori lives in the poorer neighborhood of Possum Springs, which is right by the train tracks. Lori loves horror movies and likes to make her own, something that Mae encourages as she believes that Lori is talented at making horror movies. When Mae was injured by one of the cult members, Lori was angry and stated that Mae did not deserve to be hurt...as she felt that Mae was the only person who understood her. Mae acts as an older sister towards Lori, and wants her to give-up being a troublemaker so she can go on to have a better life. 

Pastor K: Pastor K is the new pastor at the Possum Springs Church. Pastor K is a kind and understanding individual who wants to help people, especially Mae and a homeless man named Bruce. She often butts heads with the City Council when she tries to set up a shelter for Bruce in the church, as they see him as just another ‘bum’. Mae sees Pastor K as a good person who cares about those less fortunate than others, and likes that Pastor K does not judge her for her past or lack of faith. Pastor K has some moments where she questions her own faith, but continues to pray and be optimistic. Pastor K prayed over Mae as she laid unconscious after being attacked by the cult, showing that her faith is still strong. 

Bruce: Bruce is a homeless man who sets up a tent behind the church. Bruce is a nice guy whom Mae gets along with, and likes to listen to his past from before he became homeless. Bruce had lived in Possum Springs has a miner back in the 70′s, and has a daughter with whom he is estranged from. Near the end of the game, Bruce decides to leave and reconnect with his daughter, as he feels bad that Pastor K has been going through so much stress from the City Council while trying to build a shelter for him. Mae hopes that Bruce and his daughter will be able to make amends.

Mr. Chazokov: Mr. Chazokov was Mae’s astronomy teacher in high school. Mr. Chazokov describes Mae as his ‘best/worst student’, as she hated school but love the constellations. Mae will go up on the rooftop to look at constellations with Mr. Chazokov, who will tell her the legends behind them. Mr. Chazokov cares about Mae very much, and even cried when she had been injured by one of the cult members. He was very happy to see that Mae had recovered.

Danny: Danny is a guy who is carefree yet always being fired from his jobs. He is 3 years older than Mae, and the two of them sometimes talk about employment and other things. Mae tries to be optimistic about him finding full employment someday. Danny began to work at the Ol’ Pickaxe, which Bea runs in place of her father. He was eventually laid off but found a new job at the new taco restaurant, and that he is actually good at making tacos. Danny lives with his parents and once had a girlfriend who dumped him.

Jackie: Jackie is Bea’s friend with whom Mae does not get along with. Mae tries to warm up to Jackie, but she makes it clear that she does not like Mae for not knowing about Bea’s troubles...though Mae cares very much for Bea just like Jackie does. Jackie is shown to be politically active and is against fascism. She often throws college parties, to which Bea always attends and allows Bea to pretend that she is in college, just so she can have the experience. Jackie is actually transgender.

Steve Scriggins: Steve Scriggins is a delinquent with whom Bea greatly dislikes. Bea has known Steve since high school, and is well-aware of his reputation of being an even bigger troublemaker than her. Mae only hangs out with him because he is friends with Gregg, though Mae sees Steve as an even larger bad influence than her, as Steve has them help him break into the old Food Donkey to steal an animatronic character from the basement. Though he is an adult, Steve still attends high school parties and hits on Lori’s classmates, showing that he may be interested in underaged girls. 

The Tunnel Teens: The Tunnel Teens are a group of teenagers who hang out in the old tunnel where the old trolley remains. The Tunnel Teens often make fun of Mae whenever she tries to relate to them. Despite this, however, Mae shows genuine concern for them when she witnesses a teenager being kidnapped by one of the cultists, and advices the Tunnel Teens to stay safe and travel in groups. 

Bombshell: Bombshell is a girl who Mae met at a college party in another town. Bombshell is a laid-back girl who finds Mae interesting, and even begins to flirt with her. Mae also finds Bombshell interesting and even finds her attractive. Unfortunately, their interactions are cut short as Mae goes to find Bea at the party. Mae realizes that she did not get Bombshell’s contact info, but has a feeling that they will meet again at another college party. Her real name is not actually ‘Bombshell’, as it is just the name that Mae gives her in her journal. 

Cole: Cole was Mae’s ex-boyfriend from high school. The two of them went out a few times, but their last date was senior prom. The two went together...but Mae accidentally caused him to bleed after trying to kiss him, accidentally chokes him with paper towels while trying to stop the bleeding, throws up on him, and floods the bathroom after stuffing the paper towels down the toilet. Cole ranaway and Mae returned home on a classmates’ tractor crying all the way home. The two of them broke-up after this...but Cole appears to not hold a grudge against Mae for what happened. When Cole returns to Possum Springs for the weekend, he was happy to see Mae and was worried about her. Mae becomes really anxious around him due to the prom incident, and gets drunk on watered-down beer and causes a scene. Mae once wrote a song about him called: Go Get Dead Angel Face. She is very, very embarrassed by that song.

The Janitor: The Janitor is a mysterious man whom Mae meets at the bus station when she arrives home from college. The Janitor is very down-to-earth and gives Mae cryptic messages and warnings, which she does not seem to understand. The Janitor appears and disappears quite mysteriously at certain parts of the game: The bus station. the Ol’ Pickaxe, the hospital, and downtown. When Mae was hospitalized, the Janitor appeared and reassured her parents that she would be alright. It is possible that he is some kind of deity or spirit that is watching over Mae, as he may have supernatural powers of some sort. 

Andy Cullen: Andy Cullen is an unseen character...but he plays a big role in Mae’s character. Six years before the story, Mae became dissociated with reality and began seeing objects and people as shapes. During a baseball game at her school, Mae had a breakdown and saw Andy as nothing but shapes...and began to beat him with a baseball bat. Mae eventually snapped out of it, and was horrified by what she had done to him. After this incident, the parents of Possum Springs told their children to stay away from Mae, and Andy was hospitalized for quite a while. It is unknown what happened to Andy afterwards, although it is likely that he got better and no longer lives in Possum Springs. Mae still feels a strong amount of guilt over the incident, and doesn’t even know why she attacked him.

Casey Harley: Casey was Mae’s friend from high school. Mae and Casey were very close and would do crimes together with Gregg. Casey played the drums in the band before Bea took over after his disappearance. While Mae was away at college, Casey suddenly disappeared and no one had heard from him since. Everyone believed that he ran away and hopped onto the tracks, which was something that he had often talked about doing, so no one was surprised when he disappeared. Nevertheless, Casey’s parents put up ‘missing’ fliers of him all over town, and all of his friends missed him dearly. It was later revealed that Casey had actually been kidnapped and sacrificed by The Cult, as they believed that he wouldn’t amount to anything and that no one would miss him if he was gone. The Cult claimed that Casey was going to deal drugs with his cousin, who died in a meth-explosion, but it is unknown if any of that is true. While Casey appeared to be a troublemaker, he was well-liked by everyone and loved by his parents. Mae and her friends were deeply sad and angry after learning of his death. It is unknown if Mae will tell his parents of his true fate or not.

Eide: Eide is a member of The Cult and the pseudo antagonist of the game. Not much is known about Mae, but he appears halfway through the game. Mae first spots him during Harfest, in which she witnesses him kidnapping a teenager and runs after him. Eide is somehow able to go through the tall fence and disappears. Eide appears to follow Mae at the graveyard, Possum Jump, and the Historical Society. At first, Mae believes him to be a ghost and is determined to learn more about him, and is also afraid that he will kidnap other teenagers. When Mae encounters him again, Gregg shot him in the arm with his crossbow, causing him to runaway. Eide then appears with the other cultists, and is angry about being shot in the arm. When Mae and her friends are allowed to leave, Eide follows them on the mine’s elevator and tries to take Mae with him. Mae is her friends are able to pull Mae away from him, and he goes down with the elevator. His fate is unknown, but he likely died when the mine caved in. As a member of The Cult, it could be that Eide wanted to sacrifice Mae to the Black Goat, meaning that he believes that Mae is not important to the town and will not be missed if she were to suddenly vanish. Eide appears to have supernatural powers, which allow him to become transparent and even teleport. While his real identity is unknown, some fans believe that he is the cult’s leader, Ed Skudder, who is said to have been granted the power to ‘walk through walls’. Other fans believe that Eide is actually a heavily brainwashed Casey Hartley who, instead of being sacrificed by the cult, became a member instead. Eide is shown to be a cat like Mae when she kicks off his helmet.

The Cult: The Cult is the hidden antagonist of the game. The Cult was formed many years ago by a man named Ed Skudder, who worked as a miner in Possum Springs. Ed came across a bottomless pit, where he claimed he heard an entity known as ‘The Black Goat’ sing to him. Ed claimed that the Black Goat offered to keep Possum Springs existing if Ed threw people into the pit. Since then, many more people joined the cult and sacrificed people to the Black Goat, as they believe that it is the only way that Possum Springs will survive. The members of the cult only sacrifice people whom they believe will not be missed, such as homeless people and runaways. The Cult has no intention of hurting Mae or her friends...rather, they want them to join because the current members are all old. However, Mae and her friends are disgusted by the Cult’s beliefs and practices, as what they are doing is murdering people. Mae believes that the cultists are doing this because it is the only thing that makes sense to them and gives them hope, though she is still disturbed by them. The Cult is located in the old mine. After an accidental mining collapse, it is very likely that the cultists became trapped in the mine, meaning that they will likely die from starvation and dehydration. Mae, Bea and Gregg felt guilty at first...but Angus felt no guilt for them because of their murderous actions. It is likely that the City Council does not know about the Cult, as they appear to keep themselves a secret. 

The Black Goat: The Black Goat is a mysterious entity that is worshipped by a cult in Possum Springs. The Black Goat supposedly lives at the very bottom of a pit inside the old mine, and is said to sing to people and give them strange dreams. According to the cultists, the Black Goat sung to Ed Skudder and made a deal with him: The Black Goat would help Possum Springs’ economy, in exchange for sacrifices. Since then, the cultists would sacrifice people whom they deemed ‘unwanted’ and would not contribute anything to society. It is also said that the Black Goat granted Ed Skudder powers, and that it is the one responsible for Mae’s strange dreams. It is unknown if the Black Goat actually exists or not, or if it actually kept Possum Springs from falling apart years before. The Black Goat may be more of a figment of Mae’s imagination, or possibly symbolize the Cult and Mae’s fear of losing their home and not knowing what else to do about it. 

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If I Die Before I Wake: Final Chapter

Vengeance is defined as punishment or retribution for a wrong committed against another. A single curse could derail and weaken the most powerful being in the world. A single massacre could take the entire world in one go; but it could centuries to execute the perfect vengeance.

Chapter Six

Mystic Falls

April 2010

“Nik.” Klaus froze, his crushing grip on Bonnie's neck loosened. His eyes snapped towards Caroline and saw that she was still lying on the table but her hand was raised and pressed to her head as though she was trying to massage away a fierce migraine. All eyes were trained on her, none of them believing what they were seeing. Caroline was awake. “Niklaus.”

In an instant, Klaus was by her side. Elena ran to Bonnie and knelt on the ground with her gasping friend. Yet, no one paid them mind for they all watched Klaus and Caroline. He placed his hands on her cheeks and gazed into her eyes. Her wide open eyes; for the first time in one hundred and forty six years he saw the pale blue of her pupils and it caused the dam inside of him to break. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks. Caroline reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.

“You cut your hair.” Klaus gave a humorless laugh and pulled Caroline to him; holding her tightly against his chest. He marveled in the feel of her in his arms. The feel of her alive and welcoming was Valhalla; a phrase he had not thought of in nearly a millennia. Caroline placed her hands on his shoulders and her nails dug into his skin slightly. Her face was pressed against his neck and Klaus could feel her hot breath. “I'm thirsty. So thirsty.”

Suddenly, there was a frenzy of movement. Rebekah launched herself from one side of the room to the other and grabbed the frozen boy, compelling him with the freedom to move. She dragged him towards Klaus and Caroline, shoving the boy at their feet. Klaus shifted and placed Caroline on his lap as she reached down and grabbed the boy. Black veins appeared under her eyes in the same moment that her fangs dropped down. The boy screamed and fought, almost pushing her away because her strength was still weak. Marcel snapped into action, pulling himself from his knelt position and held the boy still. Klaus pet Caroline's hair, whispering sweet words as she drained the boy.

The rest just watched. Stefan standing still, his sorrowful eyes taking in the scene around them and the smell of human blood threatening his monster to come and play. Elena and Bonnie still on the ground, the cries of the teenaged boy, one that seemed familiar, haunted them. Kol watched on with a smile, sharing a look with Rebekah-both thinking that their family was complete. Elijah remained motionless, whispering to Freya; making plans. Damon's body, whose neck hadn't completely repaired itself, remained motionless.

“Who was it? Who is she draining?” Bonnie asked in a hushed whisper, she didn't see who it was that Rebekah dragged in, too focused on the task she was about to complete. Her voice was hoarse from Klaus's grip. Blood ran from her nose and she wiped it away. She always bled when she did a spell that was too strong for her. Freya's magic helped but it still took a toll out of Bonnie and she knew that she was going to be down for awhile.

“Tyler Lockwood.” Once Caroline was done with Tyler's blood, she dropped his dead body to the ground with a harsh thud. His eyes were still open and Caroline licked the blood off her fingers. Klaus kissed the top of her head, not even sparing a glance at the boy. Marcel dragged the body to the side and stood beside Rebekah, both with wide grins on their lips. Caroline slid from table and the rest took in her appearance. She was still wearing the white pantaloons that she had the night she succumbed to the curse. The corset was still tight around her waist. Her hair was a mess and blood ran down her chin, staining the white fabric of her clothing; yet Klaus looked at her as though he had never seen anything so beautiful in the millennia he had been alive. Caroline took a few steps and stumbled slightly. Klaus caught her easily and Marcel was by her side in an instant. Neither willing to let her go just yet.

“My son.” Caroline placed her hands on Marcel's cheeks and leaned in to kiss his forehead. She smiled at him, giving him a warm gaze. Her eyes flickered upwards to see Rebekah vibrating with happiness and tears streaming down her eyes. Caroline held out her arms and Rebekah flashed into them, hugging her close. Both Elijah and Kol were by them in an instant, with Freya trailing slowly behind. Once she broke away from Rebekah, Kol scooped her up and spun her.

“Kol!” Klaus hissed as the younger brother put Caroline back on the floor. Caroline laughed and it echoed around them; a laugh that was joyful and warm, a laugh that brought the entire room to ease. Once her feet touched the hard wood floor again, her legs gave out slightly for a second time but Klaus caught her easily. It would be some time before Caroline would be able to gain her full strength back. Feeling his arms around her, Caroline melted at his touch. She looked at him and gave him a small smile. Klaus pulled her tighter and they all knew that Klaus would not let her out of his sight again.

“Welcome home Caroline.” Elijah stepped closed and kissed the top of her head. Klaus gave a small rumble in his chest, growling at his brother. Caroline laughed again. The growling ceased and Klaus's shoulders relaxed slightly. Elijah held out his arm to Freya who stepped closer. “May I introduce our sister Freya.”

Caroline took in the other woman, who she quickly realized was a witch, with a confused look. She cocked her head towards Klaus and he nodded. If her husband accepted the woman then Caroline knew that this Freya was fine but it was all confusing to her. Esther had once told her a story of Freya, the eldest of the Mikaelson children, and how she had died long ago.

“Freya was the one who discovered the ins and out of the spell that put you under and how to break it.” Kol smiled and put his arms around Freya, who in return rolled her eyes. Caroline saw and couldn't help but smile at her. “And I for one will take credit for it because I'm the one that discovered she was still alive and brought her into the family fold.”

“Still humble I see.”

“Always Darling.”

“Kol.” Klaus hissed. He always found it irritating how Kol spoke to his wife. However, Caroline just laughed and patted his cheek patiently. Settling into Klaus's arms, her eyes darted around and look in the scene of destruction in the room. Her head cocked and she stepped away slightly. Klaus didn't let her go far and Caroline just laced her fingers with his, pulling him behind her. For the first time she realized how different everything was. Her eyes fell upon the two girls on the ground. Caroline flashed to them and bent down. Her eyes focused upon Elena and she could hear the human heart beat in her chest.

“Another one?” Caroline took her in and for a moment, she could see Tatia peering through those brown eyes. The black veins appeared under her eyes and both Elena and Bonnie slowly began to back away. Caroline was always one for control and she mastered the urge to rip Elena's throat out quickly. She saw that both girls were dressed in what would be considered men's clothing. Once again, everything was different. “What year is it?” Neither of the girls answered and Klaus placed a hand on her shoulder. “Answer me!”

“2010.” Bonnie whispered and Caroline could feel Klaus's grip tighten. She stood and turned in her husband's arms. She placed her hands on his face. Her thumbs traced his cheek bones and her eyes pouring her entire soul into his. She pressed her lips to his and kissed him softly. Klaus's eyes fluttered shut and he basked in having her in his arms. There were a thousand emotions that flashed across Klaus's face; love, bliss, happiness, pain, misery and fury all at once. Caroline saw them all and the rest stilled at the change in the atmosphere.

“A hundred and forty six years, you've been alone.” Caroline and Klaus held their hands together, placing them just above his heart. Klaus rested his forehead against hers and kissed her knuckles. “We were dancing. There was no music but I heard it. I always did with you. But then there was so much pain. I thought I was dying, that I was fading away. I remember your tears and how you begged me to stay.” Fresh tears began to fall from Klaus's eyes. The walls and pain he held inside soon came crashing down. Caroline kissed him again, tasting the salt on his lips. “I wanted you to know how much I loved you. Still do. I didn't want to leave.”

“You didn't leave Love, you were taken. Never again. I'll never loose you again.” It was a vow. A vow that Caroline knew he would never break. Much like the vows he promised her a thousand years ago, he held them true. He was a liar and a murderer, except with her. She was the one person who saw behind that pain and the destruction. She held his heart in the palm of her hands and she knew that he would never betray her.

“Who?”

“Katerina.”

“Where is she?” The words came out as a hiss.

“Imprisoned for now. Magic.” Klaus replied and Caroline nodded. He could see her mind turning and plotting. He missed that look. He missed the calculations and cruelty that she could show towards those she deemed her enemy. The Caroline he married was sweet and innocent, if not a bit neurotic and controlling. Over time she lost that innocence, as they all did and she grew bitter towards anyone who was not family; but she was always a master when it came to the game. It was a glorious sight to behold. He loved her then and he loved her now.

“Bring me Nadia. Find her.” It was a command; one that no one was willing to disobey. Elijah was whispering to Freya and Kol; already putting Caroline's plan into action. Both Elena and Bonnie already knew that Klaus was terrifying and capable of heinous things. He was at the very top of the food chain but it was Caroline who controlled him; she was the heart of them all.

And she was angry.

*

It had been a week of silence. Not a single sound came from the Original family. In truth, Elena and Bonnie didn't leave Elena's house for a week. Bonnie's father had been out of town and knew nothing of the events that transpired. Jenna, who was still blissfully ignorant of the supernatural world around her, thought Elena had spent her time at Stefan's. Jeremy and Alaric were the only ones who were suspicious; mainly because Damon had filled Alaric in on the details when the two fixed the Boarding House's living room.

Bonnie was weak and tired. If it hadn't been for Freya acting as the anchor, Bonnie knew that this spell would have killed her. She had no desire to try magic again for awhile nor to be alone. They spun the story that Bonnie was coming down from a nasty bought of the flu and with her father out of town, Jenna decided it would be best if she stayed with them. The two best friends just wanted to know that the other was safe.

And to wonder what would happen next.

Not a single word has been heard from any of the vampires who came to town and turned their lives upside down. Damon would come by the house often and he stated that he spotted Elijah here or saw Freya there. Yet, not a single one sought out contact with them and Damon didn't think they would but he was more than willing to be prepared if they did. It didn't help that Stefan had gone missing as well. The moment Klaus flashed away with Caroline in his arms, Stefan followed suit and no one had seen him since.

“I wonder where they are now, Klaus and Caroline.” Elena said as she handed Bonnie a hot cup of tea. The other girl thanked her and shrugged. While Damon said that he saw Elijah strolling down the street with a cell phone pressed to his ear and Freya carrying what appeared to be shopping bags, neither Klaus or Caroline made an appearance in town. “Didn't you say she would be weak for a time.”

“Yes. A couple weeks if not a few months after she woke up.” Bonnie took a sip of her tea and curled up on the sofa while Elena who sat beside her. “Freya said that she had gone so long without blood but the spell prevented her from desiccating. She would have to feed more often and I'm surprised we haven't heard about bodies or any strange deaths. Other than Tyler's memorial, its been quiet.”

“I know.” Elena looked down at her hands. “Mrs. Lockwood isn't doing well. She just lost her husband and now Tyler? I should look in on Matt too. Tyler was his best friend.” Elena had known Tyler well enough when she dated Matt the year before and wasn't the biggest fan of him. He was a crude and treated whatever girl he was involved with poorly but he didn't deserve to die in such a cruel manner.

“Yeah, and after Vicki-” Bonnie paused when a knock sounded on the door. Elena and Bonnie looked at one another. “Are you expecting someone?” Elena shook her head and stood from the sofa. Bonnie followed silently behind her. Elena opened the door to see Caroline standing on the other side of it. Elena quickly rushed to shut the door but Caroline placed her hand up and both girls paused.

“I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk.” Neither Elena nor Bonnie replied. “You do not have to invite me in. You can stand on the other side of the barrier and just listen. But, you do have such a lovely porch swing. May I?” Caroline's smile was genuine and kind. Elena nodded and watched as the old vampire moved towards the swing and sat down. Bonnie linked her fingers through Elena's and they stepped out onto the porch. They looked at Caroline who was seated on the swing and her legs crossed at her ankles.

They looked at her in depth for the first time since she had been awake. Her long blond hair was down and hung around her waist. She was in a light blue long sleeved shirt that showed off her shoulders. She wore black skinny jeans and ankle boots with a small heel. She looked like anyone they would have gone to school with and it struck them how young she appeared. The week before she looked as though she stepped out of a historical horror movie but now, she appeared normal; peaceful even. There was a light about her that neither girl could explain.

“Why are you here?” Bonnie asked and her eyes flickered to the street. A black SUV was parked across the street and she was startled when she saw Klaus leaning against it. He appeared calm and almost amused. He wore dark sunglasses but Bonnie could see a smirk playing on his lips. “Why is he here?”

“I am here to thank you and Nik isn't going to let me out of his sight for a very long time. Don't mind him. ” Caroline's eyes flicked to her husband and she smiled at him. “Ms. Bennett, I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for my family. Freya spoke highly of you and she admires you. I may not know her well yet but I can tell that she doesn't impress easily.”

“That all could have been sent through a text message.” Bonnie said and looked confused for a second. “Do you know what a text message is?” That made Caroline laugh.

“I have been getting a rather large history lesson this week.” She smiled and both girls could see why the Originals wanted her back so desperately. “Yes. I know what a text message is and it is far more convenient than writing letters. However, some things need to be said in person. Nik fought with me, wanting me to stay in bed and rest for a tiny bit longer but I'm stubborn. I wanted out and I wanted to do this in person. You deserve that Bonnie. You deserve that respect.”

“Your husband didn't see it that way when he threatened to murder my family, keep me prisoner and kidnapped Elena.”

“That is true. Nik does have a flare for the dramatics. I may be behind on the times but I believe the term is drama queen?” Elena nodded at Caroline's assessment. “I cannot say that I would have stopped him. I might have even helped him. It wouldn't be the first nor the last bloodbath I've been apart of. But, it didn't come down to that, did it? You're both here, safe and fine. You did our family a huge service and we are now in your debt.” Caroline stood from the swing and walked over to Bonnie. She pulled a small slip of paper from her pocket and handed it to her. “This is my number. Elijah got my one of those small devices you call a cell phone. If you need anything, a vampire problem that needs solving, a cure from werewolf bite, just dial. We are in your debt.”

“So thats it. You drain me of my magic for a time, kill Tyler Lockwood and skip town, all the while saying you owe me a favor?” Bonnie asked. It didn't seem real. She had thought that if anything Caroline and Klaus would try and kill her. After everything Freya and Kol had told her about the Originals, that they were in fact the very first vampires in creation, Bonnie assumed they would sign her death warrant.

“This is how supernatural alliances are made. Trust me, you do not want us as your enemy Bonnie.” Caroline gave her a hard look. “And we are not leaving town, at least not for awhile. I need time to get my strength back.” Caroline looked out at the street. “It has changed so much but this had been my home once, Mystic Falls. I was born here. I married here. I thought I would raise my children here and grow old beside Nik. Strange how things change.”

“What do you mean? You didn't choose this?” Elena asked and Caroline really acknowledged her for the first time. Elena got the impression that Caroline didn't like her very much or any of the doppelgangers. After what Katherine had done, Elena supposed she could understand why, but Elena was not Katherine. “You're the first of the vampires, I had thought you all picked this life or something. Made some deal with devil.”

“No.” Caroline gave a sad smile. “No. I love being a vampire, do not get me wrong. I love being strong and young and powerful, but it wasn't the life I had pictured for myself. I was seventeen and in love when I was made what I am. I was newly married and adjusting to that life when my father-in-law murdered me along with his children.” The two other girls just stared at her. “I wanted nothing more than to bear Nik's children, to care for his home and love him. If I was faced with a choice then, I would not have chosen this path but if I had to choose now, to be vampire or human, I would stay as I am.”

“I'm sorry.” Elena whispered. Caroline looked at her in amazement. She had never thought that she would hear those words from that face. While she knew that this was not Tatia or even Katherine, it was hard to accept such an apology.

“I have known three other woman who looked exactly like you.” Caroline mentioned and it took Elena by surprise. She knew of Katherine and the one who they used to break the curse, but who else had they crossed paths with that looked like her. “They all had one thing in common. They all were selfish. They played men against each other for their own gain. Sometimes they didn't even realize they did it.” Elena paused and felt as though Caroline saw right through her. “You have the chance to change Elena. Stefan may make his choice soon and I don't know if you would like the outcome.” Caroline turned to leave but stopped.

“Wait!” Elena called to her and the blonde turned, cocking her head in question. “You know where Stefan is?”

“Yes.” Caroline replied and she could tell that Elena needed more. “Freya lifted the cloaking spell on our manor to allow Stefan entrance. He wanted to speak with Nik. A few words were exchanged, a few punches thrown and a vase that I had just had ordered was broken.” Caroline smirked and they all could hear Klaus's chuckle from the car. “He then spoke with Rebekah. He said he needed a few days to clear his head and then left town.” Caroline turned to Bonnie, shutting down anymore questions from Elena. “Think on what I said Ms. Bennett. I promise you, my word is good.” With that, Caroline sped off the porch and into the arms of her husband.

*

The Mikaelson Manner was all but complete. For the past week, Caroline and Rebekah have been working on furnishing the home. The girls and Klaus introduced Caroline to the joys of the internet and Caroline couldn't be more in love with it. In brought out the desire to control, design and conquer. Not only that, it was almost instantaneous and seeing that patience was never one of Caroline's virtues, the internet was a blessing.

Klaus let her have her way, of course. Since the moment he built that hut for her and she took over, Klaus knew that while he may provide and protect their family, she was the one who controlled their domain. Even now when the world had changed from the early days of their marriage, Caroline was the one who made everything a home. So, he just stood back while his wife and Rebekah, Freya staying out of the decorating, discussed paint colors and the difference between sofas and daybeds. He only stepped in when Caroline began to feel fatigued, making her to take a rest in their bed.

Only to rest. The reason they stayed in Mystic Falls was for Caroline to regain her strength. It would be easier to do that in a small town compared to one of the many cities his wife loved; especially New Orleans. The issue became that Klaus yearned for her. He hadn't felt her in his arms for so long but he wanted her strong. For her, it had been a week but for him it had been a life time.

“Do you think it wise to give the Bennett witch such a valuable gift?” Klaus asked as Caroline kicked her boots off of her feet and pressed them to the hardwood floor. He smiled at the scene, remembering how she always preferred to be barefoot. Unable to help himself, Klaus wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. “She could ask for anything.”

“I asked Freya about her. What she was like.” Caroline turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed his lips lightly. “She won't harm us; she is too smart for that. I think she knows that we will not harm her now, despite your threats made out of anger.”

“I won't apologize for them.”

“And I wouldn't want you too.” She gave him another peck for making her way towards the sofa and sitting in front of the unlit fireplace. She stretched out and Klaus sat at the end of the sofa, placing her feet in his lap. “I never would ask you to apologize for anything in your quest to protect our family. If I had not awoken when I did, I know you would have made good on those threats.”

“I would have burned this world to the ground just to hear your voice again.”

“Is that why you let yourself desiccate is Cleveland?” In a second, Caroline was in his lap, straddling his hips. “Marcel told me.” Klaus cursed and looked at her with fragile eyes. It was the same eyes who looked at her when Mikael beat him or when she was in his arms dying. She kissed him lightly. “Never do that again. No matter what happens to me, never let yourself fall into that state again.”

“Nothin will happen to you. I will never allow myself to loose you again.” Caroline didn't say anything, instead she just pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. Klaus kissed each of her eyelids before pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. “I thought we were discussing the Bennett witch.”

“We were.” Caroline replied opening her eyes. “She lost her mother, or her mother walked out on her I mean. I gave her the opportunity, the opportunity to find her.” Caroline smiled lightly and Klaus saw the calculation in her eyes. “If we find Abby Bennett, at her request, it would make us even. Therefore, no need for retaliation.”

“Always cleaning up my messes, Love?”

“It was written in my vows.” Caroline chuckled and Klaus rolled his eyes at her. “Beside, I think Ms. Bennett respects Freya more than she is willing to admit. Although, I don't blame her for that. I rather adore my new sister.”

“A century she searches by my side to break your curse but one week with you and she likes you more than me.”

“Nik, everyone likes me more than you.” If it came from anyone else, those words would have hurt him deeply but he knew Caroline; and she was the exception to his every rule. He just attacked her sides with his fingers and caused her cry out in laughter. “Nik!” In a flash he had her pinned to the sofa and withering beneath his fingers. “Stop! Please!” As she requested, Klaus stopped his fingers and just smirked at her. He saw her chest heave and her breath catch.

“Are you alright?” He thought, perhaps, he tired her out and that she over exerted herself. Instead, Caroline just smiled and placed her fingers on his hair line, pushing some dirty blonde curls to the side. Klaus could see the love shine in her eyes and he couldn't help himself, he had to kiss her. He didn't shut his eyes because he couldn't look away from hers.

“I'm perfect.” With that, she wrapped her arms around him and crashed her lips to his. The kiss was passionate and forceful. They felt the past century of loss and pain. Caroline opened her legs and Klaus settled between them comfortably. He couldn't help but grind himself into her clothes core, moaning as he did. Her fingers went into his hair and her nails dug into his scalp. He tore his his lips away from hers and hissed. He thrusted his hips again. “Niklaus.”

“We shouldn't.”

“Why? We're alone. You're my husband and I love you.”

“You're still weak.”

“I'm strong enough for this.” Any resolve he had broke. His lips descended upon hers again. This kiss was possessive and demanding. He completely devoured Caroline and she pressed herself as close to him as she could. Klaus's fingers played with the end up Caroline's shirt and quickly ripped it from her body. His lips moved from hers and trailed down to her collarbone. His tongue licked her skin and Klaus moaned at the taste of her.

“I've missed you. So much.” He kissed the valley between her breasts. Caroline moaned as his teeth nipped at her skin. He knew that his venom would cause her to weaken so he made sure that he didn't bite her hard or break her skin. His eyes took in the black lace bra that she wore and he swore that he never saw anything more beautiful than that sight. He kissed his way down her flat stomach and to the top of her jeans.

He pulled himself off of her and stood. He held out his hand and Caroline weaved their fingers together. He pulled her to him and Caroline jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist. They flashed towards the bedroom he crafted just for her. He tossed her lightly on the fourposter bed and watched as her long hair created a halo around her head. She laughed and pushed herself up on her forearms.

“Off.” She pointed at his clothes. Klaus smirked at her and pulled his Henley over his head; allowing the silver necklace to rest on his chest. He pulled the button from the top of his jeans and pushed them down to the floor. Klaus took one of her feet and kissed the top of it; a wicked smile appear on his lips. His hands trailed up the sides of her legs until he reached the fasten on her jeans. Caroline raised her hips and allowed him to pull them down her legs. She laid on the bed in nothing more than a black lace bra and matching panties. Klaus took in her appearance and a mixture of lust and love appeared on his face.

“The sight of a Valkyrie appearing from Valhalla lies before me.” Klaus whispered in a breathy tone. His eyes ranking her in. He looked starved and lost but finding home all at once. Caroline moved to sit on her knees and placed her palms on his chest. She kissed the skin that covered his still heart and Klaus just closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her.

“You said that to me on our wedding night.”

“And it is still true. Everyday.”

“I would have taken a simple 'you're beautiful'”

“You English women lack poetry. So prim and proper, even back then.”

“You vikings are all ruff and tumble but really just as soft on the inside.” Klaus laughed joyously. He missed her teasing. He missed the light she gave him. Her fingertips traced the birds that he had tattooed on his chest. He got them a decade prior when he wondered if he would ever hold Caroline again. “My viking. Only mine.”

“Yours. Only yours.”

“Love me Nik.” Caroline gripped the chain and pulled him roughly to her. Their lips crashed together and their tongues fought for dominance. They tumbled backwards and Caroline molded her body to his. Klaus's hands traveled over her body and slipped his hand into her panties. His fingers traced her slick heat and pressed his thumb against her nub. “Niklaus!”

“I won't last long.” He whispered into her lips before kissing down the side of her neck. He listened to Caroline's whimpers and hushed breathes. He slipped two fingers inside of her and began to thrust them in and out, curling them as he hit that special spot inside of her. She arched her back and tossed her head back. He could feel her walls tighten around his fingers and she screamed out his name. He kissed his way down her body as she came down from her high. Caroline laced her fingers through his dirty blonde hair and pulled him up towards her lips.

“There will be time for that later.” She quickly pushed on his shoulder and flipped them over so Klaus was on his back. She straddled his waist and reached behind her. She hadn't mastered the hooks of a bra yet so she just tore it from her chest and allowed her breasts to come free. Klaus sat up and kissed them greedily. He reached for her panties and tore them away as well. They held each others naked body in their arms.

Klaus aligned himself with her center and pressed his forehead against hers. Slowly, Caroline sank down onto him. They both groaned and hissed at the contact. She allowed her body to get used to the feel of him. She gazed upon his face and there was wonder there. He knew her body better than she did but she had to remind herself that he had been without it for so long.

Caroline placed her hands on his chest and pushed him down. Klaus allowed himself to fall against the mattress and just took in the sight of her on top of him. She raised herself up and then back down. Her pace was slow and tortuous. Klaus put his hands on her hips and helped dictate her movements. He wanted nothing more than to pound himself inside of her but he let her loose herself in him.

He hissed when he hit a sharp spot inside of her. Caroline's head tossed back and Klaus could see the black veins appear under her eyes. He sat up, changing the angle and causing them both to moan. He kissed her lips, his tongue grazing the tips of her fangs; cutting slightly. A small amount of blood made its way into Caroline's mouth and she moaned. The monster under skin came to the surface; clawing for more.

“Take it. Take it all. Take me.” Klaus whispered and Caroline bit down hard onto his neck. The fangs pierced his skin and the blood flowed into her mouth. His hips rutted into her and he flipped them. As she drank from him, Caroline spread her legs wider, allowing him more access to her. Klaus pounded harder into her. She pulled from his neck in order to scream his name. He lost himself completely and spilled himself inside of her. Their eyes locked, bodies intertwined mixed with blood and sweat. “Home. I'm home.”

*

Ancient Mystic Falls

Spring 1001

Caroline was cold. A soft breeze from the spring air flowed through the window of their hut. Her lower body was covered in furs. She laid on her stomach and her back bare to the chill of the morning air. She could say it was the chill that woke her but that would be a lie. Soft lips trailed kisses down her spine, calloused hands touched her hip and the memories of the night before flashed before her eyes. The wedding, the dancing, his hands on her and him inside of her. Caroline smiled, turning in the bed to see the eyes of her new husband peering down at her, his long sandy blond hair untied and hanging loose in his face.

She leaned up and kissed him. She wanted to feel him again, as she had several times through the night but the sun was up and they knew that their rest wouldn't always be excused. No matter how much Caroline wanted to lie in this straw bed with her husband, they had responsibilities. Yet, today she just wanted to kiss him on last time before she faced the world for the first time as married woman.

“We can not stay here forever.” She whispered.

“Yes we can.”

“No, they will send someone to look for us. They will want to know if we consummated our marriage.” Caroline giggled as Klaus's kissed made their way down her neck and he growled. His hands wondering and it still took some getting used to allowing another to have such access; even though she enjoyed it.

“Let them come.”

“They will send Kol. You know they will.” That got Klaus's attention and peered down at her. His face was alight with happiness and joy. Innocent would not be a word she used in these circumstances, for everything they shared the night before was anything but innocent, however she had never seen such freedom etched on his face as she did now. She mentally vowed to make him feel that way as often as she could.

“Never mention my brother's name when you're naked in my arms again.” This made Caroline laugh freely and Klaus's smile grew wide.

“Done.” She leaned up and kissed him one last time before he forced himself from the bed. He was completely naked and Caroline laid back down, enjoying the view. His back was lean and muscled. She could see the scars on his back from the many times Mikael has taken a whip to him. She was thankful that Klaus no longer lived in his home and hadn't for several weeks.

She watched as he tied his hair back and quickly dressed. He laced up his leather boots and grabbed some water from the jug by the window. As he drank, he made his way to the bed and sat down, smiling at his new wife. He kissed her gently on the lips before kissing her forehead.

“I need to see to the cattle. I would hate to give Mikael a reason to change his mind on sharing resources for the time being.” It had taken some convincing on his, Esther's and her mother's part but they finally agreed to share as long as Klaus continued his part of the upkeep, which he always had. “I also promised Henrik that I would teach him how to handle a sword.”

“It would be a shame for you to break that promise.” She smiled and kissed him again. She placed her hand on his cheek and stroked his cheekbones. She smiled at him and looked into his eyes. “You're going to be such a good father. One day.”

“One day. Hopefully soon.” With that Klaus pulled away and made his way to the front door. Caroline sat up and stood from the bed. She grabbed her shift and pulled a muslin gown from the trunk her father brought into the hut the day before. “Caroline.” She turned to look at Klaus who was standing in the doorway. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Always and forever.”

But that was the beginning of another story.

[life-rewritten]

Flower of Evil-The irony of Baek Hee Sung

A Hand To Hold

Episode 9 and 10 and 11 is when the show Flower of evil becomes the best so far it has been. With emotional growth, angst and depth to characters in a way that one could not predict. As a thriller, it does what it's expected to do, it keeps us on our toes, trying to guess how the characters will react to situations we already have information on. Episode 9-11 have focused primarily on Ji Won's ability to accept and understand her husband's new identity. She decided to let go of the marriage only to realise that he's not the label the world put on him, but a human who had to do what he did to survive, she also finally sees that even if he thinks he doesn't love her, his actions are enough for her. This is why the most touching visuals of the show was the camera on the two holding each other's hands tightly. 

Especially episode 11, when the truth is revealed to all our characters, Hyun So clings unto Ji Won's hand to help calm down and think about their relationship. Hyun So confesses also that he loves Ji Won repeating his gesture holding her hand and kissing it to show his heart. Lastly, they hold hands as the police officer tries to separate him and her away. To understand why this is so important (as a last visual in the show), we have to return back to the findings of the episode. Understanding the irony of Hyun Soo's life so far:

Just a pawn

The first critical information that was relayed is again about the terrible desolation of Do Hyun Soo. About how much of a victim of life he is because of the people he has had to deal with. The truth comes out terrifyingly, it seems that everyone apart from his sister (though we can argue that in a sense) has been out to use him for their own gain; emotionally, physically and mentally. He has thought that he had people on his side, perhaps not to trust but to actually have control of the situation and work together to help the two parties and be safe. However, everyone, he thought he could trust had been using him  like a pawn in a messed up chess game.

Mentally:

First of all, we have the truth about his father or well the semi truth so far. His father relished in the fact that he had a pause in emotional growth. We see his father trying to lead him into hurting animals, trying to push all the stuff he has to avoid as someone who struggles with perceived ASPD onto him and encouraging him to do so. We see a hint to a traumatic event and his development as a child. This suggested that even his own father used his perceived disorder for his own gain.  This is just from assumptions of the flashback,  I am still unsure if his father was actually as cruel as we are made to think especially by Baek Hee Sung who said he felt threatened by him. 

It's fascinating because Hee Sung is the same age as Hyun Soo, and so him being the accomplice is him essentially taking over as the son that the father probably required, the cruelness or the coldness the father wanted from Hyun Soo from the start. So we start to see that Baek Hee Sung is the foil of Hyun Soo; who people view as someone with violent/killing tendencies because of his condition, father, and family/incidents that linked him to murder. When in reality Hee Sung is the actual full manifestation of what the people think Hyun Soo is. The difference is he's protected by the things that are Hyun Soo's own downfall according to society;

PRIVILEGE OF BAEK HEE SUNG

CONDITION: It's because Hyun Soo grew up in the village where people had a lack of knowledge or understanding about his disorder, so they continued to abuse and hurt him thinking he was possessed. His condition was seen as someone with no feelings and violent tendencies who hurts life and doesn't feel bad at breaking things. On the other hand, Baek Hee Sung's condition (if he has one), is hidden by success and praise (his own psychological mindset leads him to be a genius, good at calculating and it makes him a champion. He is praised for his own oddness/coldness because it doesn't matter,  he's a genius essentially and so is viewed as  needed in society. He's also in the city where it's more difficult for people to be in his business or care about whatever issues he may have. Even if he had a tendency to hurt or maim like Hyun Soo, his parents would ensure that his secret won't get out.  His condition also leads him to easily help his sister escape as the murderer of the village head and so she also without meaning uses his condition as a way to avoid being on the run. 

FATHER:  Do Min Seok, the father of our protagonist was later revealed as a serial killer who committed suicide, and even his sister suffered the brunt of it (being dumped by Moo Jin because he saw her as disgusting). The Baek family status and reputation are insanely high, his father is a director of a hospital, trusted and seen as someone who heals not hurts. His wealth can buy out people and manipulate others to do his bidding. What's most important is that he might also be in on the murder  (I still think this) because he has a phone which connects him to the source of the people that are killed and bought by Min Seok and Hee Sung. The Baek Family are secretive and ensure that no trace comes back to them and so they are protected and viewed by society as trustworthy. This is also sadly seen in episode 11 when  Hae So relays her ideas of the accomplice to them without a doubt. 

FAMILY: The status of his father and the incidents that followed him are essentially what makes him hunted by people as the accomplice. The death of the village head is what essentially frames him as a murderer, to protect his sister he takes the fall for it and goes on the run. On the other hand, Baek Hee Sung is the one covered by the family,; his father is colluding with the source of the murders and ensuring that it's all done in secret, the last victim he actually killed ended up disappearing, and the person who he worked with to kill is even dead. And he instead frames that person as the reason for why he murdered people because he was threatened into doing so. It is ironic that Hyun So is taking the blame as a killer for family, whilst Hee Sung is removing the responsibility and playing victim to get his family to help protect him. One is protecting, while one is being saved because of privilege of wealth and status.

IRONY OF THE IDENTITY OF BAEK HEE SUNG

Physically 

This is still the same conversation about the character dynamics and shadowing of both Hyun Soo and Hee Sung. So after his father is announced dead because of 'suicide'. Hyun Soo goes on the run because of the murder of the village foreman. The contrast to when these two meets are incredible, Hyun Soo has nothing and is now on the run. Meanwhile, the real killer/accomplice is in the car, chill as can be and is planning another murder. Their collision is such an essential part of this story because it plays on dramatic irony and also fate and karma. But because of this meeting, we assume after a while Hee Sung enters a coma and in other to protect his secrets Hyun Soo who has met the family thinks he has an opportunity for the family and offers his face and  body to be of use. This is how he is manipulated and used physically without knowing, his body build, complexion, age and even they make him dye his hair to look just like a mirror image of Hee Sung, his actual foil/mirror character. He assumes the real accomplice name, identity and ironically becomes the thing he's trying not to be linked with ;his father's accomplice, a serial killer and a cold, heartless one. Ironic right? This is so brilliant and painful at the same time. Ironically as much as Baek Hee Sung identity provided him with a new life, kid and wife, a new place to start it actually was just him being the very thing he was trying to avoid. The thing he wanted the most is the thing he also dreaded the most. 

Emotionally

it doesn't end there. The Baek Family actually also use his  emotional state, they convince him to stay far away from people, avoid falling in love and if he does use it to his advantage, and they continue to use the fact that he's not emotionally available for their own benefit. Because he will be more willing to be cruel, to help make things easy for them, to pin crimes on and to manipulate into doing dirty deeds because he has no feelings. This is why the father automatically asks him to kill the taxi driver  in episode 4because he knows too much. As long as there are no emotional ties, he won't be an issue, he threatens and asks him to move far away without his family, mind you and start afresh. To just keep running and accepting the fact that he's doomed to not have anyone. The messed up thing about this is that his own son is probably that way. The doctor is also likely that way. Both are emotionally stunted determined to do what it takes to protect his name and status. The difference is his son actually murdered people and framed others for it. 

THE FLOWERS OF EVIL

So where does that bring us? Why is so important that we have these two fated characters as a message of the show. The idea of the show is called the flower of evil. The idea that something pleasant, and perceived as good/attractive is actually full of evil/negative connotations. The dramatic irony is that Hyun So actually is a  perceived flower of evil, and suffers because of it when in reality he's just the flower in evil, forced to grow and sustain even though the environment is harsh and evil. We have the Baek Family especially Hee Sung, he's the actual flower of evil, the real perceived pleasant and the thing that is actually tainted and born of evil intentions. 

We still have a few more episodes to go to understand if he's tarnished by his own family surroundings (perhaps cracking down due to pressure from his family to succeed in maths, or possibly being born a psychopath and being allowed to be one because it makes him smart, successful and significant, or perhaps he is right and he's just being forced into it by Do Min Seok) 

Either way it is all again focused back to the failure of the adults in society, of parents and how they view or use mental health and manipulate it for their own gain which in this case Yikes. 

This is why we have Ji Won who comes in to give Hyun Soo-an actual hand to hold, someone who doesn't use him or need him for evil but actually loves and sees him. Them holding each other hands and Hyun Soo having someone who just wants to hold his hand and protect him is powerful. In the end, even though he thought it was the identity of Baek Hee Sung (the flower) that is the reason for his family and happiness, it's actually the real Do Hyun Soo who has the detective wife who will fight for him and a daughter who will love him. And that's beautiful. 

[fuckthe10essays]

Othello is a pessimistic play; in it anything that can go wrong does go wrong

As Murphy’s law dictates anything that can go wrong will go wrong. As the title of this essay suggests, Othello is a fine example of that. As Shakespeare’s comedies end in happy marriages, his tragedies end in numerous deaths. Othello joins the likes of King Lear, Hamlet and Macbeth in its tragical ending but also offers a pessimistic perspective on human nature and just how far people are willing to go to get what they want. Combined with Murphy’s law, a catastrophic ending and an increasingly negative commentary on how easily people can use others for their own gain, Othello is a pessimistic play with a worryingly candor opinion on human nature and just how much greed and jealousy can afflict the human mind.

As soon as the first scene we can see as readers that this play is going to take a very pessimistic tone. One the very first page we learn that Othello, a Moorish general, has eloped with Desdemona, a white young noblewoman. A wedding is a celebration of both love and commitment, a triumph in choosing a person to spend the rest of your life with and to possibly have children with. But to Iago their marriage was just another thing he could use to get what he desires. He, along with Rodrigo, make a mockery of their union by shouting lewd, racist and false things to Desdemona’s father in the middle of the night from the street. ‘Even now, now, very now, an old black ram is tupping your white ewe.’ Brabantio initially does not believe them but soon sends out a search party to look for Desdemona. All the while Iago is hiding in the shadows, shouting things, but making it seem like Rodrigo was the one saying them. Letting him face Brabantio’s wrath. ‘Thou art a villain.’ This leads to Brabantio disowning Desdemona ‘I had rather to adopt a child then get it.’ and to insinuate to Othello that if Desdemona can deceive him, she could deceive Othello. ‘She has deceived her father and may thee.’ This scene shows Iago instrumenting the loss of any fleeting sense of happiness or optimism. He has allowed a seed of doubt to sow in Othello’s mind that will lead to his downfall. Iago is not what he is, and this play is only proof of that.

As easily as Iago manipulates situations to meet his own ends, he also manipulates people, namely Rodrigo. Rodrigo is a curious character in that, like Othello he believes every word that comes out of Iago’s mouth, but Rodrigo is also paying Iago’s way. He exists to fund Iago’s schemes but also, he is the only person Iago is in any way honest with apart from his asides to the audience. Iago uses Rodrigo’s misguided love for Desdemona as a reason to come to Cyprus. ‘Put money in thy purse; follow these wars.’ Iago has such a hold over Rodrigo that even in Rodrigo’s only scene where he manages to stand up to Iago ‘For your words and performances are no kin together.’ he is once again back in Iago’s grasp. Iago does this by tempting him with sex with Desdemona if he helps Iago kill Cassio. Iago doesn’t care one bit about Rodrigo’s love for Desdemona. To Iago, Rodrigo is just another pawn in his game. In this play Iago is a fine example of the lengths and willingness that people will go to get what they want. Rodrigo has sold all his land and has gone broke chasing after Iago. ‘I have wasted myself out of my means.’ but Iago feels no remorse, it helped him and therefore the consequences do not matter. He is the ugly truth of human nature, but he is not above fate, nor murphy’s law. For as the saying goes what goes around must come around.

Alas Rodrigo is not the only person to have been subjected to Iago’s cruel plans. Michael Cassio, Othello’s lieutenant suffers almost immediately after landing in Cyprus because of Iago. It is part of Iago’s plan to take Cassio’s job to become close to Othello and bring about his downfall. ’For making him egregiously an ass and practicing upon his peace and quiet even to madness.’ Iago does this by manipulation of Cassio and his inability to hold his alcohol. Iago knows about Cassio being a lightweight and uses this to his advantage, getting him drunk and initiating a riot. When Othello comes down to investigate, he asks Iago what has happened. This is when things start to go wrong, for Iago blames the riot on Cassio ‘I had rather have this tongue cut from my mouth than it should do offence to Michael Cassio’. This causes Othello to fire Cassio from his lieutenant and the allows for the first pieces of Iago’s plan to go into play. With Cassio now mourning his reputation ‘O! I have lost my reputation.’ Iago suggests that he go and plead his case to Desdemona, Othello’s wife. This suggestion leads way to Iago insinuating that Cassio and Desdemona are having an affair to Othello. It is in this moment that we can see the possibilities of what Iago will do and how much can go wrong for all the other characters.

Out of all of the things that have gone wrong in this play quite possible the worst and most damning one was Desdemona’s handkerchief. How something so small and inconspicuous could have such an enormous effect could only have been brought about by Iago’s hand and some bad luck from fate. With Othello on the verge of being convinced that Desdemona and Cassio are having an affair he demands that Iago shows him some proof. Iago tries to suggest that he had heard Cassio talk about Desdemona in his sleep, but Othello dismisses him. Iago is left to think what proof he could present to Othello when Emilia brings him Desdemona’s handkerchief, her first gift from Othello, which Iago had asked her to steal for him. He then conspires to leave it in Cassio’s lodgings to frame him for an affair with Desdemona. ‘I will in Cassio’s lodgings lose this napkin and let him find it.’ But something even better for Iago happens. Iago and Othello and are talking when they see Bianca, a prostitute, come and confront Cassio with the handkerchief, accusing him of sleeping with other women. ‘This is some minx’s token.’ Othello sees this. He sees Cassio with evidence, in his mind, of Desdemona’s infidelity and not only that but to him Cassio hasn’t even been faithful to Desdemona and has been sleeping with other women. This is all it takes to convince Othello of their affair. Long gone are the days of a happy marriage for now Othello is conspiring murder. ‘How shall I murder him, Iago?’ ‘I will chop her into messes.’ This a direct result of Iago’s meddling and of how wrong so many things have gone.

Othello’s descent into paranoia about his wife is one of the most successful achievements on Iago’s part. He so skillfully warped Othello’s mind, he so easily preyed on his insecurities and so artfully manipulated him that it’s not surprising how fast Othello succumbed to Iago’s schemes. It is a very sad aspect of the play because of how unrestrained Iago is in using Othello’s own insecurities against him. Iago manipulates Othello through what Brabantio said about Desdemona deceiving him and probably Othello ’She has deceived her father and may thee.’ by calling all Venetian women whores. It’s not that Othello is stupid to believe him, it’s that Iago is preying on doubts that are already in his mind and turns them against him. To go from the strong, confident and capable general we saw in Act 1 Scene 1 to the broken shadow of a man he ends up becoming is only possible through Iago using what Othello already thinks against him. At the beginning it would have been nearly impossible to imagine Othello then as Othello now, but Iago succeeded so well in his manipulation that any result other than death would have a surprising twist.

The play ends with three bodies on a single bed but four deaths in total. Simple Rodrigo was betrayed by Iago after his failed attempt on Cassio’s life and killed. ‘O dammed Iago! O inhuman dog!’ Desdemona was murdered by Othello for retribution for her supposed infidelity. Emilia was stabbed by Iago after she spoke of the handkerchief and how Iago asked her to steal it for him. ’She gives it to Cassio! No, alas! I found it, and I did give it to my husband.’ Once Othello heard the truth about the handkerchief and how Iago had lied, he made one last speech about his service to Venice ‘I have done my state a service and they know it.’ and then committed suicide by stabbing himself with a concealed knife. Falling onto the bed that the bodies of Desdemona and Emilia lay on. Emilia was murdered by her husband because she wouldn’t keep quiet about the handkerchief, but it was her husband Iago who did most of his damage talking. It is also ironic that Desdemona was killed by her husband for being ‘unfaithful’ when in fact one of Iago’s motives for doing all this was because he wanted revenge on Othello for supposedly sleeping with his wife. It is even more ironic that out of everyone the only person to have escaped unscathed is the person who delivered the most damning piece of evidence against Desdemona and the reason Emilia was killed, Bianca. While everyone else was either killed, sentenced to a life of torture or maimed in some way, Bianca suffered nothing.

In conclusion two of the main reasons that Iago did what he did was because 1. He believed that Othello had slept with his wife, Emilia and therefore he wanted revenge on Othello, and 2. Because he was jealous of Cassio and wanted his lieutenant job. Now I cannot say that if these reasons did not exist that Iago would not have done what he did but revenge, greed and jealousy certainly proved to fine motives for his actions. Othello is, if nothing else, a warning to not let yourself be overcome by things like revenge, greed or jealousy. For in every person there might not be an Iago but anyone could be an Othello, so overcome by their insecurities and doubt that they lash out violently and hurt people, or a Desdemona, so naïve in their actions or beliefs that they cannot see how it’s affecting those around them, or even an Emilia, through blind love and obedience be complicit in someone else's horrible action and only realize too late. So yes, in relation to the question Othello is a pessimistic play but you cannot reduce it to just its pessimism when it gives a very valid commentary on human nature and just how far we’ll go to get what we want.

[scared-aquarius]

signs as haunted places in Texas

(This post is part of a series where I assign haunted places from each state to the signs)

Aries: Highway 281, between Johnson City and Blanco TX- On August 24, 1885 in Blanco County, Al Lackey went on a murderous rampage, killing six of his family members including his mother, father, brother, daughter, niece and sister-in-law with a shotgun. After slaying these six, he went home and attempted to murder his wife and baby with a knife, however, the wife ran and after his attempt to chase her down failed, he cut his own throat. This did not kill him, however, and he wrapped his wound with a bandana. On horseback, he rode towards town, finding his neighbor who, unaware of the murders just committed, rode alongside him. He noticed the red bandana and thought it was simply red in color, not blood-soaked. During the ride, Lackey lunged at the man, cutting him several times but he, too, managed to escape. The sheriff eventually caught Lackey and after being tended to by physicians was brought to jail. On August 26, two days after his rampage, a mob of 50-60 people marched down to the jail and broke him out, demanding he pay for his crimes. They rode until they found a tree at a halfway-point between Blanco and Johnson City, which supposedly runs parallel to the current Highway 281, and hanged Lackey. The rope they used was thinner than rope normally used for hangings which prolonged the strangulation. The rope also dug deep into the laceration that was already present in his throat which caused him to bleed heavily onto his shirt. The sheriff found the body the next day and, with none of his surviving family members willing to claim him, he was buried in a pauper’s grave somewhere in Blanco. To this day, people report seeing a man with a red bandana and bearing Lackey’s physical description hitchhiking between Johnson City and Blanco, especially at late hours. Those who have stopped to help him claim he was holding a knife. Truckers and locals claim to not like driving down the road at night and they know not to pick up any hitchhikers on that stretch between Johnson City and Blanco. And now you do, too.

Taurus: Spaghetti Warehouse, Houston TX- Built around the turn of the 20th century, the building, originally called the Desel-Boettcher warehouse, started out housing fur pelts and then some years later it was owned by a pharmaceutical company. It was not until 1973 that it became the Spaghetti Warehouse. A former employee of the pharmacy involved in a freak accident as well as his wife are said to haunt the restaurant. The employee was said to be very busy one night and grabbed a stack of paperwork off his desk as he was rushing to get home. As he headed back to the elevator, he was not paying attention and walked into what he thought was the elevator but was actually an open elevator shaft. Having not returned home, his wife hurried to the warehouse looking for him only to find his body crumpled at the bottom of the elevator shaft. Traumatized and brokenhearted, she too tragically passed away only one year later. Today, their spirits are said to occupy the second floor of the warehouse. The restaurant is riddled with activity according to staff members, particularly during late-night hours, including full-bodied apparitions, bottles of wine inexplicably falling off shelves, disembodied voices calling employees’ names, guest’s hair being tugged on and shoulders being tapped. The wife is also said to rearrange furniture and make a mess of organized dishes and silverware. Guests have reported feeling ill or tingly as soon as reaching the second floor. Another spirit said to haunt the building is a former frequent guest. A man in his mid-fifties who was struck by a car outside the restaurant can sometimes be seen by employees, seated in the restaurant one moment and then gone the next.

Gemini: Miss Molly’s Hotel, Fort Worth TX- The building itself was built in 1910, serving as a hotel called The Palace Rooms for those who traveled by the new railroad. During Prohibition, it’s named changed to the Oasis and served as a speakeasy. By the 1940s, it was called The Gayette Hotel and acted as a bordello that mostly served cowboys and locals. This was a dark period for the building as many ill-spoken deeds and rumors of some of the prostitutes meeting unfortunate ends circulated. Eventually, under new management, the building stopped serving as a bordello and was split with the first floor serving as the Star Cafe and the second floor serving as a hotel- Miss Molly’s Hotel. Many of the ghosts who haunt the hotel are thought to be those who were present during its time as a bordello. Full-bodied apparitions have been seen, for example, that of a young girl around the age of nine has been seen in the former owner’s rooms. No one knows exactly who she is but she is believed to be a former tenant. One hotel guest claimed to wake up in the middle of the night with a pale blonde woman sitting at the edge of his bed. She is believed to be the ghost of a former working girl. There is also a tipping ghost who is said to leave coins in recently cleaned rooms. One cleaning lady even quit because she was frightened by this entity and did not want to risk having it attach itself to her. Throughout the hotel, unexplainable shadows and cold spots are frequently encountered. Strange smells are also present, with some being described as toilet water while others are described as smelling like women's perfume, perhaps from the hotel’s time as a bordello. Some of the hotel’s mischievous entities are also known to move guest’s belongings, play with their lights at night and make loud bangs in their room.

Cancer: Littlefield House, Austin TX- Located on the campus of the University of Texas, the Victorian-style home was built for Civil War veteran and businessman George Littlefield and his wife, Alice, in 1893. Throughout their life, they donated a lot of their money to the school and therefore became special figures for the college. It is said that for a long period of time, Alice had been locked in the attic to keep her safe from Union soldiers during the war. Because of this, Alice developed a severe mental illness and was constantly afraid she would be kidnapped or murdered. She was prone to nervous fits of hysteria, sometimes having to be restrained. Despite being told she should be admitted to a sanatorium, her husband instead kept her home and hired three nurses. After George’s death in 1920, Alice was devastated, but over time her mental state improved. She was able to become more social again and would host parties at the home but was rarely ever seen outside again. When Alice died in 1935, she left the house to the university where it is now used to hold classes on the first floor and house offices on the second. However, some believed that Alice never left and is trying to reclaim her home. Shortly after her death, full-bodied apparitions were seen throughout the house, colds spots were frequently felt and sounds of running, screams of fright and other eerie noises could be heard coming from the second floor and staircase nightly. Things are also said to be misplaced often as if Alice is trying to put her home back to the way it was before her death. Many students claim to hear her play the piano in her upstairs bedroom and her face can sometimes be seen peering out the window. While it may seem unsettling, many students refer to her as Aunt Alice and see her as a comforting and benevolent spirit.

Leo: Hotel Galvez, Galveston TX- The Galvez Hotel opened its doors in 1911 and is still in operation today. During WWII, however, the building was occupied by the US Coast Guard and no rooms were rented out to visitors. Over the years, many famous people had been guests there, including Jimmy Stewart, Howard Hughes, Frank Sinatra, and Franklin D. Roosevelt. In the mid-50s is when tragedy struck at the hotel. A woman in her mid-20s named Audra was planning on getting married to her fiancé, a mariner who sailed in and out of the Port of Galveston. She stayed in room 505 while she waited for his return back from sea. One day, after a terrible storm, his ship did not arrive when it was due in port. Audra heard that the ship had gone down and that there were no survivors. Stricken with grief, she hung herself. Not even a week had passed when her fiancé came back, having survived the sinking of the ship, only to find that she had taken her own life. Staff and guests alike have reported hearing Audra running up and down the hallways looking for her husband-to-be as well as hearing crying and doors slamming shut in the middle of the night. Strange smells and visions of orbs are also reported throughout the hotel. Staff have also reported seeing a young girl bouncing a ball in the lower level of the hotel and the housekeeping staff say that there is the ghost of a man who stands in the corner of the laundry room. There are also reports in the lobby and restaurant such as candles blowing out on their own and dishes moving and breaking. Heavy breathing and children’s laughter are said to be heard in some of the hotel bathrooms. After Hurricane Ike in 2008, some staff had to stay at the hotel while their homes were being repaired and many claimed to see a woman in an old maid’s uniform accompanied by a man walk through a guest room and disappear. 

Virgo: El Paso High School, El Paso TX- This high school has been in use since it’s opening in 1916. In 1922-23, its name was changed to Sam Houston High School at the bidding of a local chapter of the KKK but was quickly changed back after community outrage. During both World Wars, the basement of the school worked as an overflow morgue, taking in bodies of soldiers as well as Spanish Flu victims. Throughout the years, students and faculty exploring the basement have discovered classrooms from the early 20th century in seemingly untouched condition yet blocked off, with no reason given by the school administration for the hasty remodeling. There are also reports of slamming doors and “spectral pep rallies and games” occurring in the gym, only to discover the gym is empty upon further inspection. A teacher at the high school once reported seeing a girl in an old blue dress at the end of a hallway one night and instructed her to go home as it was late. He claims that when approaching her, she turned around, gave him a sorrowful look and then slowly vanished before his eyes. Another ghost girl is also said to be seen throughout the school, her identity being tied to that of a student from the 80s who slit her wrists and then jumped off a balcony which is now walled off along with the hallway and stairwell leading to it. Despite this, multiple people have claimed to still see a girl standing on that balcony. A famous class picture of the 1985 graduating class may capture this ghost girl as her face is considerably more blurry than the rest and no one can seem to identify her.

Libra: The White Sanitarium, Wichita Falls TX- Built in 1926, this sanitarium was made for those who were mentally insane. The founder, Frank S. White, wanted to create a place where instead of being locked in cells, the patients were free to roam and live a non-institutional lifestyle. He wanted it to be a home, not a prison. He only operated the sanitarium for about 5 years, though, as he himself had fallen ill. By the 1950s, the building was flooded and badly damaged so it was abandoned and sat vacant for another 50 years. It is believed that some patients never left, perhaps due to the now-banned medical practices on the mentally ill of the past which left patients permanently injured or worse. Those who have visited the site since it’s foreclosure have claimed to see glowing ends of cigarettes as well as full-bodied apparitions of patients in hospital gowns. There is also said to be a lady in white who roams the halls and looks out the windows of the abandoned building. Reports of children’s voices are heard and lights are said to sometimes be seen coming from the sanitarium even though there is no running electricity there. There is also a group of men who are known to be seen on the property playing a game of poker every now and then. Visitors have said they feel strange cold spots and feel a general “heaviness” in the air. People who claim to be skeptics have said their beliefs are shaken after visiting there as they cannot explain their experiences. Today, the building has been remodeled and transformed into apartment units.

Scorpio: The Jefferson Hotel, Jefferson TX- In 1851, the building was built originally as a warehouse to support the booming cotton industry. It is unclear whether the building became a hotel, with some speculating it was during the 1870s and others saying it was as late as 1900. As a hotel, it also served as a brothel as well as a speakeasy during the prohibition era under the name “The Crystal Palace”. The ghostly activity in the building is so frequent that the staff keeps a “book of the dead” at the front desk, with years of recorded activity and experiences within it and new encounters being written by guests to this day. There are at least five different known entities within the hotel’s walls. The first is a tall man wearing boots and a long coat who can frequently be seen by both staff and guests. The identity of the man is unknown. While he has never proven to be malevolent, guests find him incredibly unsettling as many times he can be seen sitting or standing in their rooms at night. The apparition is so solid and recurrent, some guests have claimed they had followed him down hallways thinking he was another guest only to turn a corner and see him vanish. The second known entity is a beautiful woman nicknamed Libby. Her exact identity is unknown, however, staff can agree that she is either the spirit of a woman named Elizabeth or Lydia. Both women were pregnant and stood up on their wedding day and subsequently both hung themselves from the hotel bed’s tall headboard. These suicides happened 50 years apart. Libby’s appearance is what points to either of these women being the spirit as she is said to wear a bridal gown and have golden blonde hair. She seems to appear in front of male guests traveling alone most frequently. While she doesn’t haunt a specific room, she seems to be attached to a bed which has moved to different rooms over the years, specifically room 12,14 and 19. Room 19 also houses another ghost, that of a teenage girl who was stabbed to death by a client during the hotel’s brothel years and left in the bathtub. She is said to appear in the mist when people are showering and writes messages, pleas for help and sometimes warmings, on the bathroom mirror. She is known as Judy as the name has been seen among her scribbles. The last two known entities are those of a young boy and girl around age 7 in 19th century period clothing who can frequently be seen chasing each other and can be heard laughing. They are thought to be casualties of the cotton warehouse. Despite their laborious lives and sad deaths, they are known to have fun by pulling pranks on guests by moving small items and turning lights on and off.

Sagittarius: USS Lexington, Corpus Christi TX- Nicknamed “The Blue Ghost”, the USS Lexington is an aircraft carrier built for the US Navy during WW2 in 1942. The ship got the nickname “The Blue Ghost” because of her tendency to reappear after reportedly being sunk, as well as her dark blue color for camouflage purposes. It was decommissioned in 1991 and is now docked, serving as a naval museum. Many spirits of soldiers are said to roam the decks of the ship. During WW2, a Japanese plane struck the ship near the engine room, killing many. Some employees of the museum claim to see figures frantically running as if trying to get to position to defend and maintain their ship. A security guard says that running footsteps can be heard frequently, especially in the early hours of the morning. Disembodied voices and screams are also heard and both staff and guests report being touched. A known ghost on the ship is a man in a sailor uniform who helps guests find their way back to the deck. Another who resides in the engine room is said to give lectures on how the turbines work before vanishing into thin air. Charles Reustle, a director at the museum who has worked on the ship for 26 years, is a skeptic but has had his own fair share of strange experiences. He claims that over a course of a few weeks, he kept losing his pen cap. After the sixth time, he turned his room over but still could not find it. The next morning, he found all six caps lined up on his desk. He believes a spirit may have been playing a prank on him. With the museum receiving hundreds of reports of supernatural activity a year, the executive director of the museum, Steve Banta, says that there are too many accounts that “there has to be something to it”.

Capricorn: Yorktown Memorial Hospital, Yorktown TX- This hospital opened its doors in 1951 and was run by the Felician Sisters, a group of nuns who kept the hospital open until 1986. The building was named in honor of those lost their lives in WWII. Under the care of the nuns, 500 patients died within the first 6 years the hospital was open. It reopened as a drug rehabilitation center but then closed again for good in 1992. Roughly 2000 people have died within the walls of the hospital and is known to be one of the most haunted hospitals in Texas. One employee by the name of Dr. Leon Norweirski was responsible for multiple deaths- he became known for his fatal mistakes during operations. In one patient’s case, he accidentally cut a patient’s throat while operating on his thyroid. This doctor’s mistakes may be a reason why the hospital is so active. There is a ghost of an eight-year-old girl named Stacy known to roam her old room on the first floor, basement hallways, and sometimes is seen in the library. Her favorite book to read during her life was “The Poky Little Puppy” which supposedly was given to her by none other than Dr. Leon Norweirski. She is known to be a playful spirit and supposedly will roll a ball if you ask her to. A few nuns seem to have stuck around as well, although some of them are known to be violent. Visitors have claimed to be scratched, choked, rushed at, and people with tattoos, piercings or other body modifications seem to be especially targeted. Another spirit is that of a man named Doug Richards. He was a heavy equipment mechanic who died there in 1973 and not much is known of his ghost but people say you know it’s him by his tall appearance and his white t-shirt and blue jeans outfit. During its time as a rehab center, a man who some call TJ came during late hours seeking help. When he rang the back-door bell, no one answered- whether the doorbell stopped working or the nurse on duty had fallen asleep, TJ didn’t get help fast enough and his body was found on the steps the next morning. His apparition can be seen today wandering the hall near the back door. Lastly, blood is still visible on the walls of the boiler room from a double murder that occurred after a stabbing due to a love triangle between a female employee, a co-worker and a patient. The hospital is also home to other less well-known entities and strange anomalies such as shadow people, full bodied-apparitions and top-notch EVPS. It is also said that disembodied voices and screams can be heard coming from the delivery ward.

Aquarius: Six Flags Over Texas, Arlington TX- After a trip to Disneyland in 1959, real estate developer Angus G. Wynne Jr. decided he wanted to build a rival theme park in his own state. Opening in 1961, the park was a huge success. By the 1970s, Six Flags Over Texas had expanded and added new rides and phased out old ones and by the 80s it was operating almost year-round. It had become one of the nation’s fastest-growing theme parks. However, despite its years of success, it still has its fair share of dark times and mishaps. On August 8, 1968, the park experienced its first ride-related death. Ride Operator John Raymond Nelson was only a high school senior when he accidentally lost his balance while unloading passengers on the El Sombrero. He fell into the pit beneath the ride and was rushed to Arlington Memorial Hospital where he was pronounced dead. In 1999, a 29-year-old woman drowned on a river rafting ride after her raft unexpectedly deflated and flipped. She was trapped underneath and drowned in 2-3 feet of water. A 64-year-old woman also drowned in 2011 after being found unresponsive in the lazy river. She was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead. Lastly, in 2013, a 52-year-old woman fell to her death while riding the New Texas Giant roller coaster after her seat restraint malfunctioned. Because of its history of death, it’s unsurprising that the park is known to be haunted. Ghost sightings have been reported all throughout the park as well as cold spots and sensations of being touched. While most paranormal activity is sporadic, there is one ghost known as Annie who is said to haunt a yellow house by the New Giant Texas roller coaster entrance as well as a candy store within the park. Believed to have passed in the early 1900s after drowning in nearby Johnson’s Creek, her spirit is said to be friendly and a bit mischievous. Lights in the yellow house are known to turn off and on with no one around, curtains open and close and doors slam shut unexpectedly. According to employees, doors also seem to not remain locked. She can also sometimes be seen by guests walking along the tracks in the Mine Train attraction.

Pisces: Frio River, Rio Frio TX- In the early 1900s, a woman named Maria Juanez was murdered by her brother-in-law, Gregorio, on the banks of the Frio River. Gregorio had fallen in love with her and after confessing this to her, she rejected him- she was already in love with a man named Anselmo. Often, Maria and Anselmo would meet down by the river bank at night. On one of these nights, while waiting for Anselmo, Gregorio decided to confront Maria to profess his love. After the rejection, he shot her with a pistol out of rage. Upon realizing what he had done, he hid underneath a large pile of hay in a barn until the next morning when he was found by angry townsfolk. Gregorio was tried for the murder of Maria Juanez and was found guilty, spending the rest of his life in prison. Maria had always dreamed of marrying Anselmo and having children of her own as she had loved caring for her sister’s children, however, that dream never became a reality. Instead, she was buried in a wedding dress along the Frio River, where some say she still roams to this day. She is said to be a very kind spirit, helping lost children, comforting them, or sitting at the edge of their bed at night to protect them. People who claim to have seen her say she is dressed in all white, being nicknamed “The White Lady”, and sometimes she is seen walking down the middle of the river in a mist or fog-like form. One man who cannot swim even claims that Maria saved him from falling into the river. He reported that as he fell back after slipping on a rock, he felt an unseen force push him back to an upright position.

New Jersey

Pennsylvania

Let me know what state I should research next...)