#and a jegulus version would be my end i believe it

[rabcantswim]

alright, listen. me before you au, but it's james as the caretaker and regulus as the one in the wheelchair. and barty is the ex-girlfriend who is getting married to the former best friend aka evan. sirius is the guy who was the primary physical caregiver. edit: REMUS. IT'S REMUS. and sirius is just regulus's brother. please i am begging, someone write this.

[goldenromione]

My Opinions on Harry Potter Ships (controversial but not for shock value)

I have tagged the ships that I talk negatively about under anti, so check the tags before you read this. Keep in mind there are a few here that I feel iffy on but did not tag as anti.

(Shrug means I prefer them sometimes or specifically in one medium over another (book vs. movie), check means I love them in every version, X means not at all)

Golden Era

Drarry: 🤷‍♀️ The appeal comes and goes; the further from canon it gets, the more I like it, but in a canon compliant universe I don't. Still, they were immensely important to each other growth wise, and I enjoy seeing the different interpretations of that.

Romione: ✅ One of the all-time greats. Sure, the books are kinder to their relationship, but the movies aren't completely lacking in the way some people would like to believe (newsflash: it's not just Ron's character that was butchered in the movies).

Dramione: ❌ I wouldn't be exaggerating when I say that finding out someone ships Dramione makes me lose respect for them. If you understand Hermione at all, and not the self-insert version of her that the fandom has created, you'd know that she would never.

Linny: ✅ I enjoy them, but specifically the book version of them that features Ginny as Luna's weirdness translator and Luna as the cryptid hanging out at all the Gryffindor parties under Ginny's arm. Platonic or romantic, they are a great match.

Deamus: ✅ Love, love, love. The fact that they are one of the few characters that don't have a confirmed marriage by the end of the series just adds to the delusion that they ran off together. Hard to find any content of them that I don't like.

Hinny: 🤷‍♀️ Harry finding happiness and a family after everything he was forced to go through is all that matters to me, so I never want to rain on his parade but, again, their relationship is so much better in the books. Ginny, specifically, is better in the books, but I digress.

Marauders

Jily: ✅ I hate seeing them shipped with anyone else. Their love literally saved their child. They're written in the stars: stag and doe. They were in each other's lives longer than they weren't. Plus, you know who else tried to separate Jily? Voldemort.

Wolfstar: 🤷‍♀️ I started out as a decent fan, but my appreciation has slowly fizzled out. Their dynamic is more interesting when you see them for how they really are: the last of their group. They aren't the ones they wanted, but the ones they got.

Jegulus: ❌ I have little else to say about it other than that I miss when it wasn't being shoved down my throat and washed down with Lily-slander.

[shivstar]

I have a guilty pleasure of reading Jegulus fics. Despite I shouldn't because of reasons-

#1 They are repetitive in their characterization. James is never shown as canon James that is cruel, arrogant and intelligent. Regulus is changed to diluted version of Sirius but with some self preservation because the dude went to Slytherin.

#2 I am majorly into Prongsfoot (obviously into romantic James and sirius for all those requiring clarification). So I feel like I am cheating on my babies for reading this fic where james is with sirius's brother.

# I hate wolfstar and Lupin with a passion. And if you had read a Jegulus fic, you will know that that pairing doesn't comes without wolfstar. Like ever. Ever. So, even though I have to suffer through this painful thing, I read it.

Why?

Because of the drama available there. Obviously. You get fluff. You get black brothers, you get strong women characters, you get different tropes and what's ifs, you get an ending where first war has better result as compared to canon.

But I hate it too because -

#1 James will never even look towards Regulus when he has the better black brother sirius right in front of him 24*7

#2 Sirius will never give a damm about remus when James is right in front of him for 24*7

#3 These fics forget that besides from the Wizarding war being about blood purity, it was also about dark wizards fighting for their rights. And Regulus black was a dark wizard. So okay maybe he does not want to be killing people for their status but if he also didn't want to be a dark wizard then you are making him sound like a very disfigured imitation of sirius but only more coward version who is a spineless, worthless follower.

I mean let the dude be a person who does not give a damm about whether other people are killed for their blood as long as he and his people are safe. Let him practice dark magic because he is a proud dark wizard unlike sirius who is a closeted dark wizard and has to hide his affinity to that part of magic just to fit with his friends.

#4 Every single Jegulus fic shows walburga and orion as physically and emotionally abusive parents. When I think it was never the case. I believe that with war on the horizon and with strong personalities, sirius and walburga clashed all the time because of their belief system. Walburga distanced herself when she felt that sirius was lost case and started focusing on Regulus who up until the point was not paid much attention.

Regulus was too happy to make his parents pay him attention, became even more malleable to their belief system in search of that affection while sirius thought that nothing he could do would be any better than Regulus so why try. He was jealous of his own brother. Like any normal child he resented his brother for getting his parents love. It was crystal clear in ootp if people dared to pay attention. {No but we were all busy paying attention to that brotherly hug in poa to have any brain cell remaining to pay attention to other books. Lol}

Why the reasons for sirius running away need to be exaggerated. Look around yourself. Have seen some parent child relationship in which there is no abuse involved, but still miscommunication, expectation, circumstances and belief were the reason of their estrangement.

#5 That point where you are reading form Regulus's pov and he has these abandonment issues because of sirius leaving him alone and not taking him away too and you feel for the guy because he is laying his heart out for his audience to see how much he suffered. He blames sirius and James. I feel that bullshit. First of all I think that Regulus was supper happy that he got to be having the sole attention of his parents. Again my version of his parents were not abusive people just two people who didnt know a thing about parenting. The guy was Slytherin, he liked winning. But he was also hurt by his parents still not being as concerned about him like they are of sirius, even when he is disowned. He hated his brother for having that concern in his parents' mind even now. He wanted to be better. He wanted to make them forget that sirius ever existed. He overcompensates by joining DE, he was not forced. He wanted to be make them pleasantly surprised when walburga never wanted that of her sons. She just wanted them to be bigots like her.

She absolutely despised the idea of her youngest bowing to someone. When Blacks are supposed to be the topmost. Practical royalty.

Regulus when he found out that his parents are in fact not happy with his decision, felt betrayed first and then lost. When he got the actual reality of death eating business, it was too late and he felt that he had no one in his corner. His only friends were all DE and quite happy in it. His parents were silently disappointed.

So when he found out about horcrux. He thought that he can make it upto his parents. But also he did not want to seek their help in his embarrassment. So he seeked to do it by himself and met his tragic end. Also I head canon that he could have fought to survive but his will to survive was lost because he felt adrift with no one to confide the complexities of his life, he felt alone. And he accepted death quite quickly with a relief because he was lonely in the world full of opinionated people.

So the bottom line is that I read Jegulus and then I hate myself for reading it. Because it is bullshit. But it has drama. And fanfics are their to entertain us even if it makes me pull my hair out and gauge own eyes.

[acewitch-writes]

Hello! I recently found your account, and I went on scrolling down and down...and now I hope you know how grateful I am. Thank u- Merci. About 90% of the content you share here has made me feel so much better. I realllyy hope wonderful things happen for you. I've been a fan of hp since 2001, but I'm not really a social media person so I haven't been active in the fandom. I had no idea what was happening here until recently..two months ago to be exact (other details are not important) and omg.. I ended up in a discussion with some I think, new fans. tbh I thought, "Great! I'm good at this, I read all the books more than once Let's talk :)"  and omg their very first question was "What do you think about Regulus?"

I was like, "Who?" *dying from secondhand embarrassment bc It turns out I'm not that good at this

but as the discussion continued, I became more and more baffled bc "Why was everyone talking about Barty, Evan, and Regulus? who is daddy Remu? and what do you mean people ship James Potter with R.A.B.? What?"

I swear for a moment I thought "Did the writer publish a new book? Did I miss something? " tbh, I respect everyone's opinion it's none of my business but I'm still shocked. The only thing that bothers me is everything that happened with this new Wolfsar

omg, for most fans around my age (or at least people I know), Sirius was the complete portrayal of a bad boy- a rebel, with boots, tattoos, a leather jacket, and a fucking motorcycle. so this new Sirius is like a stranger to me, and that's okay. Mein issue is kinda with this new Remus T T my beloved .

They (the fans I was talking with) told me Remus is "tall, so handsome, SO strong, and hot-headed person because,  yk he's a werewolf." I was like "hot headed? excuse me?" I tried to explain to them that Remus being a werewolf is a metaphor for illnesses like HIV, it's not some superpowery gift.  they didn't believe me, but then they literally looked me in the face and said, "Then why would Sirius like someone like him? He's poor, short, and ugly." I swear I wanted to cry right then and there.

What is this mindset that makes some people think that a person should be, Idk, hot and flawless to deserve to be loved? Yes I don't think Remus is tall and super hot and perfect and isn't it fine? and I am 100% sure he's so beautiful. not like Sirius ofc but he has this "warm, cozy, and soft" sort of beauty. and I don't think he was a coward (ok maybe he was a liitle) but I guess it's easier for us, humans, to take the worst or weakest moment of a character and amplify it until it defines them entirely. and omg I'm so sorry for my rant and my bad english. but once again thank you for your beautiful soul <3 thank you

Hi anon! I, too, am baffled by the recent obsession with Regulus in this fandom. I think Jegulus is fine as a crack ship, but it has become so mainstream that many fans have just gone ahead and canonized it to the point that you'll be vilified for not accepting it as canon. I underestimated how popular the "best friend's brother" trope was, apparently. I also think it appeals to many fans as a Marauders Era version of one of the most popular ships of all time, Drarry.

This new version of Wolfstar is my biggest complaint with today's fandom, too! I get that the Marauders have very limited canon information and therefore we have more creative freedom to flesh them out, but I really believe that it has gone way too far. Sirius and Remus in today's fandom don't bear any resemblance to the characters they're based on. Remus is just a generic alpha werewolf OC and Sirius is his generic himbo femboy love interest OC. They don't even share a physical description with their Canon counterparts, and their personalities and character traits are so far removed that I can't even fathom how we reached this point as a fandom. How can you claim to like these characters if you have to change everything the source material says about them?

You're English is great, by the way! I completely agree that Remus has a cozy-and-warm sort of beauty. He made a point to distance himself from the stigma surrounding Lycanthropy because it was the focal point of his shame and self-loathing. And I just adore Wolfstar's dynamic from this lens, with the intimidatingly beautiful, confident, headstrong Sirius Black, who could have his pick of anyone he wants, choosing this ordinary guy because he's cozy and soft and it's exactly what Sirius wants after surviving the harsh ideals and abuse of House Black.

[itsjaywalkers]

Hi! Would any of your Jegulus’ wear matching Halloween costumes? If so, what would they be for each of your fics?

THIS QUESTION IS SO FUCKING FUN NONNIE THANK YOUUUU <3

i believe they'd wear matching halloween costumes in . pretty much all of my fics . in some of them reggie would have to be forced or coerced and would do so very unhappily and unwillingly but . he still would sooooo

in making ghosts they'd wear matching costumes based on classic horror films bc james is a nerd even tho he can barely watch half of them without crying. they'd do like . popular slasher killers + their main victim!! and also hannibal and will, bc pandora gets reg into the show after they meet and reg convinces james to dress up like them even tho james doesn't have the stomach to watch the show (he HAS seen the silence of the lambs tho and they argue about it bc 'why can't we do hannibal and clarice reg THAT'S HOW THE ACTUAL STORY GOES U KNOW')

in nothing happens they'd go for . cheesier couple costumes i feel like . maybe danny and sandy from grease?? BUT ALSO reg is a lotr nerd in nh so i feel like he'd make james dress up as gimli so he can be legolas <3

in oby it'd be a mix of cheesy and slutty. like idk han and leia from star wars but a non-family friendly version of it??? or spiderman and mj (reg would end up going as gwen instead tho)

in the boxer au it'd be straight up slutty. and also painfully cliche............ im talking them going as an angel and a devil or even like . as the joker and harley quinn i wish i was fucking joking they're THAT couple. and james would think he looks soooo hot as the joker (he hasn't seen a single batman movie)

in the fucked up road trip fic they'd be . bonny and clyde or gomez and morticia addams !!

in feeling good they'd be victor and emily from the corpse bride (and this is actually canon hehe)

[saintlupin]

wolfstar: 3, 10, 27

and jegulus: 16, 22, 28

for the ship asks :)

hello, lovely! thank you for sending this in :)

for wolfstar:

3- Who cooks? Who cleans up? Who’s banned from the kitchen?

i think remus knows how to cook but doesn't particularly like to, but sirius cannot be trusted with something as simple as boiling water, lest it overflow and burn the pot. as for who cleans up, neither do! magic is the only reasonable solution. (thank goodness for that too because it's one less argument for the two of them).

10- Who drives and who picks out the music?

remus drives and sirius picks the tunes! remus doesn't really mind being the DD and actually enjoys the control it gives him in certain situations. he doesn't want to be there anymore? cool, he's out! but, he's also into some really weird/obscure music and sirius can't stand it when they're on their way home late at night (it gives him headaches), so sirius takes charge of the aux--which is fine, really, because remus and sirius do have a lot in common in terms of taste (remus' is just a bit weirder).

27- Who would propose? What would their wedding be like?

remus is convinced he would end up being the one to propose, but in all actuality it would be sirius! i think sirius would eventually get to the point where he's very confident in his relationship with remus and has the mentality of "you're mine and i'm yours" and would be eager to make it official. whereas, remus, forever caught in his own head, would worry about "the right moment" sirius would make the right moment happen. their wedding, contrary to popular belief, would be very extravagant. i don't think it would be very traditional in a wizarding pureblood sense, but i do believe that there are certain aspects that sirius enjoyed being witness to as a child and would wish to incorporate. i think he would want it to be intimate in terms of the guest list but over the top in regards to the procession of events. big ceremony, loud party, etc.

for jegulus:

16- What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

uhm, having sex. LOL. i think this is especially true for regulus because he would enjoy all aspects of playing house and the comfortability of that compared to james, who is happiest when on an adventure with his man. so, they come together and have adventurous sex and that really meets both of their needs.

22- How do they apologize after arguments?

regulus is very weepy in my mind, he'll worry a lot and over-think to the point of creating more issues for himself as a result. he'll internalize a lot of his mistakes as a failure and this would really frustrate james because james will usually get over things pretty quickly and he doesn't like to see regulus be so hard on himself. eventually regulus would learn how not to take these things to heart and apologize clearly and directly (james' preference).

as for james, he sucks at apologizing at first. he would avoid accountability only because he would really struggle to see regulus' side of things. i think james acts without thinking a lot of the time and as a result hurts people without realizing, especially regulus. eventually, he would understand that regulus is more sensitive than he lets on and likes grand gestures as apology. where james is quick to move on, regulus isn't and james would learn that apologizing to regulus comes in two parts: one) the initial apology and two) the gift giving, smooth talking, grand gesture that has regulus feeling special.

both versions lead to make up sex where there's lots of praise and emotional confessions of feelings.

28- What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

i think regulus and james are very private about their relationship and have very lowkey reminders. regulus has a tattoo referencing james in some way on either his hip of his ribs. i could also see him with a tattoo of james' signature on his ass, lmfao. the same goes for james, i think he has regulus' constellation on his ribs, right under his heart. regulus also has a photo of him and james cuddling as his phone background. james has a blurry picture of regulus covered in hickies as his.

from: ship asks

[sophsicle]

Last time wolfstar/jegulus

All to well 10 minute version JEGULUS

Love your work🕺🏽

The Last Time - Wolfstar

Part i

Find myself at your door Just like all those times before I'm not sure how I got there All roads, they lead me here I imagine you are home In your room, all alone And you open your eyes into mine And everything feels better

Sirius is certain this is a mistake. You don't fix one brash action with another. But it's killing him, letting this sit. Letting it fester. Knowing that Remus is somewhere out there hating him.

He fucked up.

He knows he fucked up.

But they have to - they have to be able to get past this. Somehow. He really isn't picky about the method. He'll grovel, and beg, and crawl. He'll fucking bleed if that's what it takes, if that's what Remus needs. But this isn't the end for them. It just isn't. And Sirius needs to know that Remus knows that. So he can't wait. He can't be patient. Or measured.

That's why he's here.

At the Lupin's front door.

Uninvited and unannounced.

It's lucky really, that it's Remus who opens the door when Sirius finally works up the courage to knock. He's not sure what he planned to do if it was someone else.

"Hi," he says. Probably could have come up with something better if he's being honest.

Remus doesn't say anything, just stares at him, eyes wide, mouth slightly ajar.

Sirius knows this is a mistake. He does. But it's too late now.

He opens his mouth to speak - hopefully to say something a little better than "hi", when a voice calls from inside the house.

"Remus? Who is it love?"

That seems to wake Remus up. "Er - no one - just - um - someone I know from town," he immediately steps outside onto the front stoop closing the door behind him. He's closer to Sirius now, standing in front of him in nothing but his socked feet. For some reason Sirius cant stop staring at them - Remus's socks - they make him seem so much younger somehow. Softer. More delicate.

When the silence resumes Sirius decides to try and speak again. He has a whole speech prepared. He's been practicing it. The first words out of his mouth are supposed to be I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Which he's already fucked up since technically the first words out of his mouth were hi.

"Nice house," is what he ends up saying. Jesus Christ what the fuck is wrong with him?

Remus blinks at him, blond hair sticking up at all angles, face scrunched in confusion.

Sirius nods at the building behind them. "You're house, it's...nice. Can't believe I haven't seen it before."

It is immediately clear that this is the wrong thing to say. Remus starts to fidget, looking profoundly uncomfortable. "It's fine," he says shortly, and then; "Sirius, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Oh, right, yeah," he gives him a sheepish smile that Remus does not return, rubbing at the back of his head. "I came to say sorry - I mean, I am sorry. I am sorry, I'm saying it right now. Sorry. I - I really messed up, I never should have told Snape about the shack. That was - it was so out of line I can't -" he lets out a deep breath. "I'm just sorry."

Remus's shock appears to have morphed into disbelief. "Are you kidding me?"

Sirius blinks, surprised, that's not quite the reaction he was expecting. "No?"

Forget disbelief. Remus is pissed.

"I could have killed him Sirius."

"I know."

"I could have turned him!"

"I. know."

"Do you?" Remus demands. "I mean do you really? Do you have any idea what that would have done to me? I would never - I would rather die then be responsible for someone being...like...this...like me."

Those words shock Sirius, he reaches for Remus without thinking and the other boy instantly shrinks away.

"You need to leave."

"Remus-"

"I mean it. I need you to go before I say something I'll regret."

God this is awful. So much worse than he thought it would be.

"I'm sorry," he says again. "Remus I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry - I lost my head for minute, just one minute. I'll be better, I swear I'll be better. You'll see. You just need to forgive me. I just need you to forgive me and then I can prove to you that you can trust me. That I'm...not...this person. I'm not this person."

He sounds like a spoiled child. Sirius isn't so completely lacking in self-awareness that he can't hear it too. But he's helpless to stop the words from spilling out of him.

Remus just looks at him sadly. "I don't know if I can forgive you."

"You can, of course you can. Say whatever you have to, whatever terrible, nasty things you're afraid of, say them. I can take it. I deserve it. I'll take whatever you need me to just as long as we can stop avoiding each other."

"Sirius," Remus says his name like it wears him out.

"I hate my life without you," Sirius says desperately. Pathetically. "Please Remus. Please."

The other boy lets out a sigh, scrubbing at his face. "This isn't fair," he says eventually.

It isn't.

He's right.

It isn't at all. But Sirius is selfish. Always has been. Selfish and spoiled and rotten. So he doesn't move. Doesn't leave. Doesn't give Remus the space he deserves because it hurts too much to be without him.

"Do you know how scary it is?" Remus asks in a small voice, hands falling away from his face. "That you can just...snap like that? Just stop caring about-about us? About me?"

Oh god it aches. It aches so deep in his chest it's like those words have carved themselves into the chambers of his heart.

"You think I'm not scared of me too?" Sirius asks finally, voice just as quiet.

Something complicated flickers across Remus's face, something Sirius can't decipher. For a second - one wild, mad second - it looks like he's going to reach out but then-

Remus sighs, heavy and ancient sounding, like a boy with the world on his shoulders. He turns for the door and Sirius feels his heart sink. This is it, he's going to slam it in his face.

But instead Remus pauses in the doorway, looking back at him over his shoulder. "Well?" he asks wearily. "Are you coming?"

Sirius is so surprised by the question that for a moment he can't speak. "I - you - Me?"

That almost gets a laugh out of Remus. Almost.

"You see any other twats standing on my front step?"

"Right - no - right. Sorry."

Remus holds the door open a little wider and with something like hope blooming inside his chest Sirius steps through.

Part ii

You find yourself at my door Just like all those times before You wear your best apology But I was there to watch you leave And all the times I let you in Just for you to go again Disappear when you come back Everything is better

This is ridiculous, it's his flat too after all. Or so he tells himself, repeatedly, as he stands in front of the door, afraid to open it. Because it is his flat, but mostly theoretically. At least lately. He hasn't been home in months. And he didn't exactly have the chance to say goodbye. He doesn't know how Sirius will respond to seeing him. He hopes he'll be happy - at least mostly - hopes he missed Remus as much as Remus missed him. Hopes he understands that it wasn't Remus's choice to leave.

But that's a lot of hope for a boy who considers himself something of a skeptic. He expects that's why he's having such a hard time pushing through the door.

In the end, however, the decision is made for him.

"Oh," Sirius freezes with his hand still on the door knob, clearly on his way out somewhere.

Remus tries to smile, it's a brittle thing.

"Surprise?"

The shock quickly disappears from Sirius's face, his expression turning blank.

"First potion I brewed at Hogwarts?"

Remus blinks. 'What?"

"Security question," Sirius replies flatly. "What was the first potion I brewed at Hogwarts?"

"Sirius it's me."

"It's protocol."

It's the cold tone of his voice, that's the problem, that's what's getting under Remus's skin, what's making him want to push back for no good reason. That, and maybe also the fact that he's tired, he's spent the last few months terrified and starving and so fucking lonely and he just wishes for once Sirius wouldn't make this so hard. That he could just understand, just pull Remus into his arms and hold him for a little while.

"Since when do you follow protocol?" he snaps back.

"Just answer the fucking question Remus."

He grits his teeth. "Babbling Beverage," and then he adds, unnecessarily bratty; "Do I win a prize?"

Sirius glares back at him. "Yeah, the prize for being the world's biggest asshole."

"Pretty sure that one already belongs to you darling."

"Six months Remus," the words are twisted and broken when they force their way out of Sirius's mouth. "Not a word for six fucking months do you have any idea what that's been like? Not knowing where you were or if you were okay or if you were ever coming back?" despite his clear efforts to hide it behind anger, the pain those words cause Sirius is clear and it makes Remus shrink a little.

"I'll always come back to you," he says, which only causes Sirius's eyes to grow dark.

"Don't you fucking dare with me right now - we have one goddamn rule Remus. One goddamn rule. We tell each other where we're going and when we're going to come back."

That used to be such a simple rule to follow.

I'm going to the pub.

To the shop.

To visit my mother.

I'll be back tonight, tomorrow, in a few days.

But now...now nothing is simple.

"Dumbledore asked me not to," he says finally.

"Fuck Dumbledore," Sirius snaps. "This is about you and me, he doesn't call the shots here, in this flat, in this relationship."

But they both know that's not quite true.

"We signed up for this Pads," he shrugs helplessly. "We knew what we were getting into."

Sirius laughs without humour. "Did we?"

Remus doesn't know what to say to that so he doesn't say anything, Sirius's eyes bleeding into his own. Oh how he missed him. Missed him so goddamn much.

Another few moments pass before he sees Sirius's shoulders sag, sees the fight go out of him.

"I thought I lost you," he says weakly - Remus would call it a sob except there are no tears in his eyes.

"Oh love," and Remus finds himself dropping his bag and reaching for Sirius, an unbelievable feeling of relief washing over him when Sirius comes without complaint, burying his face in Remus's neck, the pair clinging to one another.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into Sirius's hair, wishing he could promise that it won't happen again, but knowing he can't.

Eventually Sirius grabs hold of his shirt, wordlessly dragging Remus into his flat. Their flat. Whatever he had opened the door for in the first place now forgotten.

Part iii

This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong This is the last time I say it's been you all along This is the last time I let you in my door This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore

Remus lives somewhere else now. Somewhere Sirius has never been before. He doesn't know why that stings considering everything else they've done to each other, but for some reason it does. He feels awkward, standing there as a man - a too thin, sickly man - he has to fight the urge to turn back into a dog.

He doesn't know what he's expecting, it's been twelve years - twelve years of pain and bitterness and betrayal. Does Remus even want him here? Does he have someone else? When Dumbledore suggested that he find somewhere to hide there was only one name that came to his mind.

Remus.

Remus.

Remus.

They'd seen each other, but everything had happened so quickly back at the school. And now - well, now that the shock had warn off he wasn't sure what kind of reception he was going to get. Wasn't even sure what kind of reception he wanted.

His knuckles have barely touched the door when it swings open, a desperate looking Remus on the other side. For a moment all they seen capable of is staring. Twelve years and this is all he could think about. This beautiful man and everything he'd given to Sirius over the years. And how fucking stupid he had been to ever doubt him. Even for a second.

"I-" he starts, voice rusted through. He isn't sure what he intends to say but Remus doesn't give him the chance to figure it out, surging forward and crashing their mouthes together. He kisses Sirius with such strength that they end up stumbling backwards, Sirius's back hitting the wall behind them. For a second, in his shock, he doesn't respond. But soon enough he comes alive under Remus's hands, Remus letting out a whine as Sirius opens his mouth and lets him in.

They're a mess of desperate hands and lips and tongues. There is no technique, no artistry, just pure hunger.

Hello,

they say with every kiss.

Every touch.

I've missed you.

I've missed you.

I've missed you so damn much.

They part, breathing heavy, foreheads pressed together. It's only then that Sirius realizes that Remus's cheeks are wet. He brings his hands up to cradle the other man's face, thumbs wiping away his tears.

"You're here," Remus says, voice shaking.

"I'm here."

Remus pushes into him, like he can't be close enough, like he needs every part of them to be touching. "Don't leave again," he begs, all pride forgotten. "Please don't leave me again."

And of course they both know it's so much more complicated than that but right now Sirius is more than happy to pretend it isn't. To pretend they can be fixed this easily.

"I promise."

They're kissing again, Remus tugging him back towards the door but unwilling to stop. It's a messy business, but they manage it, stumbling into the flat with their hands and mouthes full of one another, Sirius kicking the door closed behind them.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Headcanons for Wolfstar personalities...

I’ve been carefully reading a lot of stuff about Wolfstar and people being unhappy/offended by the portrayal of Sirius (especially, I think?) by other writers. And I think that it’s based on assumptions that may be incorrect.

To explain: in my case, I happen to work as a psychiatrist and obviously I see mental health everywhere, including in characters I see in books. And it interests me to look at how someone is described in canon and what their background is, and to come up with theories as to how it could have affected them from a mental health perspective, in a positive and negative way.

Your upbringing and your early life experiences as well as your genes have a massive impact on your brain development and place you at varying risk for developing mental illness and/or personality disorders. This does not mean you are a weak person, far from it, it just affects how you view relationships, your ability to trust others, your ability to self-soothe, to calm your emotions, your fear of abandonment etc. mental health problems affect both men and women, just to note here. Members of the 🏳️‍🌈 community have higher rates of mental illnesses as teenagers, not surprisingly, due to the higher stress/shit they have to put up with.

Anyway....

So for me, based on canon evidence that Sirius ‘ mother used to scream at him, that he hates his family, that he ran away from home, that he made impulsive decisions and used to get into regular fights/hex Slytherin wannabe death eaters etc, I headcanon him as having borderline personality disorder. It just makes sense to me. And yes this means he experiences very intense emotions that can be overwhelming, he can lose his temper quite badly, he has fears of abandonment and finds it very hard to trust people and can become paranoid/quasi psychotic when very stressed (I’m sorry but if that doesn’t sound like canon Sirius???) - but in no sense whatsoever is that me implying he is in some way “feminine” or the female in the relationship. That’s like implying that only women have traumatic early life experiences???? It’s just me making sense of his background and what little canon info we have, and then imagining how it would have affected him. James is his secure base, that someone he has learnt to completely trust. The Potters seem to be the same for him. He’s way less secure when it comes to romantic relationships so that includes Remus. In my mind he gets depressed after being forced back into grimmauld place, unable to contribute and DO SOMETHING and reminded of the emotional abuse (and probably physical abuse and emotional neglect) he experienced there. He probably has PTSD as well. I mean who wouldn’t after being stuck in Azkaban for 12 years?????

In Grimmauld Place, he gets depressed, and he changes from the very helpful, supportive godfather to Harry earlier in the HP books to then making rash decisions and Hermione is worried about him in canon.

btw Boderline Personality Disorder occurs in males and females, although it is easier to get misdiagnosed as a male because often when you present with drug or alcohol abuse eg professionals don’t recognise the underlying problem which made you turn to substance abuse in the first place.

Okay, so in no sense whatsoever is my headcanon of Sirius as “dramatic” (if you want to call it that), based on misogyny or me thinking he’s the female in the relationship or whatever. It’s simply based on the info from the books, and how I imagine it affecting him. I hope that makes sense. It would be EXACTLY THE SAME if I was writing about a female character who had had the same life experiences.... it’s not based on gender. Sirius being into flying motorbikes, wearing ridiculous coloured t shirts with a Phoenix on it, sticking up multiple muggle women posters in his room - the guy does drama rather well in canon. And I don’t see any of this drama as at all “feminine” ... it’s just him. He’s also described as very good looking in canon. Again that’s not trying to make him feminine it’s just a fact. You can be very attractive and very male, lol!

Then Remus. So we know he suffered a huge trauma aged about 5 which changed his life forever. He thinks he’s too old, too poor, too ‘wrong’ to get married, he’s surprised he makes any friends and that they accept him as he is. In canon, He has low self esteem and won’t stand up to James and Sirius when they “bully” Snape after the exam. Anyway, I headcanon that he has PTSD, probably complex PTSD because each month is traumatic for him. And then after 31st October 1981 he experienced complete loss of all his friends and what he now believes is betrayal by his lover. I guess he probably became depressed for a time and may have drunk excessively to cope. With PTSD, people often feel closed off emotionally and that’s how I see Remus. Don’t get me wrong, I see both Remus and Sirius as being incredibly resilient despite their respective traumas. They are incredibly loyal, to their friends, to Harry, to Harry’s friends, they both risked their lives regularly with the Order to save others, they both die trying to save Harry and the next generation. They are heroes. Remus is a very kind and thoughtful person who the students love. Sirius is willing to live off rats in a cave to help Harry. They are both incredibly likable, strong characters. That’s how I write them and I really don’t see how that is in any way misogynistic at all. I think when you get where the characterization is coming from, then maybe this idea / assumption is not so valid? I mean you can still believe that, but it’s just not accurate.

In relation to who is top/bottom or don/sub etc, I don’t really care. I am quite happy to read either/all the above. Personally I think maybe they switch depending on time of the month?? I don’t think being a bottom equates being less male/masculine at all. I don’t see why it should. In canon Remus seems to be the only person Sirius immediately listens to (“sit down!”) so that may sound a bit dom I suppose. The greater tendency towards dom Remus is most likely also a reaction to earlier fandom ideas where Remus was very wet blankety/passive unpopular guy who has never dated anyone and Sirius was the suave/popular guy who had loads of conquests under his belt!! And to each their own, I personally don’t really fancy that version of Wolfstar.

But I have read fics with Dom Sirius and others with Dom Remus, fics with Blackinnon (even if I’m not usually a fan, I have been won over by brilliant writing @stonecoldhedwig 😍😍😍!), fics with Jegulus (even though Jily is absolutely my favourite but @wolfstargarden your writing is too good 😂!!!) fics with Remus being buff (💕💕💕@confunded-gryffindor !!) and fics with Sirius being a mechanic and others where he’s an artist( @jencala !!! ❤️❤️) or where Sirius is an Indiana Jones type character (@hp-shessocold😍😍!) you can be any of these things and can be either female or a male character. You can be a drag queen or a tattoo artist and be very Sirius (@jennandblitz 😉!) . I’ve read Sirius dying of cancer (ugh!! 💔) fics and Remus having a chronic illness quite a few times. As long as it’s well written and I love the characters , I don’t care. As you know, I read a LOT of fics and I generally let people know what I think about their fics (by gushing about the writing!) so you know I’m not making this up, lol!

There is some research suggesting that people with BPD traits often end up in relationships with people who are quite opposite e.g. don’t express strong emotions/are emotionally repressed/distant etc. maybe they compliment each other. So in my universe Wolfstar do compliment each other. I’m currently refusing to consider canon endings ☹️☹️☹️!

Anyway, that’s enough. I feel good for explaining what I think. You can agree or disagree. I happen to think that many people write characters based on their own life experiences and that this affects the portrayal.

I went a bit overboard with this!! I need a cup of tea or some sleep!! Up early tomorrow!

The Wolfstar fandom is full of incredibly talented people and I hope you can all put these disagreements behind you and move on. Good night❤️

[shivstar]

My take on Jegulus as someone who has been there and done that ( As a Sirius Black supporter)

Warning for the lovers of the ship to stay away because I don't have particularly positive opinion.....

So most stories make it seem as such a big forbidden love story. As these two as the idol lion and snake falling in love during times of war. And to make it seem more Romio juliet type, Sirius is shown as the guy who opposes him the most.

Now truthfully we don't know the exact state in which the black boys were brought up so everything is conjecture but we are sure that there was atleast emotional abuse to make a 16 year old to take such drastic actions.

And okay i can sympathise towards the teen Regulus that he didn't know any better or thought himself to be right. But in some way he was part of the family who made Sirius feel that leaving is a better option.

We know from canon that this man didn't let 12 years with Dementors completely break him. He had a strength to him even after being so so wronged by the side he was fighting for that the likes of Remus spineless lupin can never match.

So how can anyone believe even for a second that had Sirius had even a tiniest belief that Regulus could be helped he wouldn't have stayed. To drive the point home i would clear it that I neither believe that either black boy was pressured into joining Voldemort by their parents nor were they physically tortured at the hands of their own parents. This is my head canon. So he would have stayed had regulus been anything but the snobby pampered and secure kid. Similar to Draco Malfoy.

And i know there is no comparison but imagine that Harry was not physically abused at the hands of Dursleys. Just the typical emotional and psychological abuse. Now imagine a senorio in which either Ron Or Hermione went and fell in love with Dudley. .... Yeah that is the crude version of jegulus to it's core.

Because the only difference these two will be that Dudley was 1) Harrys cousin and not his brother 2) Dudley doesnt fall into beauty standard of the fandom 3) Dudley was not a wizard.

Because just like Regulus, Dudley too has a redemption ark in the books. He understood things to a certain extent, not fully mind you, which is very similar to Regulus.

Jegulus can be palatable if the ark is somewhat of black brother reconciliation first and then James and regulus becoming acquaintance then friends and then something more because anything else is really a betrayal to the highest trust and devotion Sirius has given to James.

Now most stories i have read in my stupid phase where i could stomach that thing was James going behind Sirius' back. Seeking Regulus out when he feels defeated for yet again being rejected by Lily Evans and finding solace in the arms of this guy while Sirius and Remus are having background drama because of the shack incident and thier own *blech* sexual tension.

I cannot express how much wolfstar i had to suffer just for reading Jegulus. I mean i hate Wolfstar with a passion. I cannot stand it but i did because I was going through this phase of jegulus. Obviously Sirius Black deserves better than Lupin.

All in all writers there are so great that they make you really hate Sirius for being against this relationship. Either he is the villian Or he is the road bump in their great love saga.

I mean i don't know where this thought came from making Sirius the problem behind everything in marauders era fictions. Yes he was a troubled kid, but aren't we all. Don't tell me that you had all your shits together by 21 years of age.

Jegulus for me is like a movie I have seen as a kid about fairies and princesses thta at the time I enjoyed the most as a child but now I find them ridiculous and laugh at my own younger self for ever finding fun in it.

But I guess that is what it means to grow up.

Alos as an end note Peter pettigrew is nothing but a tiny non existent character there. Even in alternative universe. So we know that that section of the fandom will remove anyone who hasn't got looks to support. I mean yes we all hate him, he did the worst thing but his importance is so so much more to Harry Potter than Remus Lupin's.

I mean James birthed him, Sirius is his support and family and motivation. Peter is the reason behind harrys eternal suffering but even if you remove Remus Lupin fron the story nothing significant will change.

If we remove James there will be no Harry. If we remove Sirius there will be 2 less books atleast. If we remove Peter then Harry would never reach his prophesied destiny. The only role Lupin plays is making sure Peter becomes an animagus along with the other two. But with how much Sirius and James were valedictorian level kids, they might have done it without the need to help their wolfy friend.

If anyone deserve this treatment it is obviously Remus Lupin because he has so less impact on people's life that it won't matter if he is just deleted.