#and a lot of them will try to guess words from first/last letters and context clues
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horrifyingly plummeting literacy rates aside that phonics post reminded me of work :')
#where did u get that p sound from shksfhskfj FELT#for context: I teach adults english and literacy#they barely have any education in their first language so they lack foundations in phonics and print#and a lot of them will try to guess words from first/last letters and context clues#but i always always bring it back to phonics#1 letter 1 sound!!! (unless its digraphs - but thats the next level up)#this is a post
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Memo to K-12: Teach kids to read in FIRST GRADE or get out of education. That’s the “Marva Collins Challenge”
Truth is, we have tens of millions of people who could claim to read in some sense. But they can't reach the important threshold that so many of us take for granted: reading for pleasure.
Lucy Calkins has been the queen of reading for the last 25 years. Her bad prescriptions were merely echoing the bad prescriptions of Professors Frank Smith and Ken Goodman, and before them the literacy pretenders who introduced Whole Word in the 1930s.
Here’s what all the false prophets taught: English is read by memorizing thousands of sight-words. As that is hugely difficult for most children, they should follow other clues: use context; consider initial letters; guess; skip ahead, consider picture clues. This nonsense almost guarantees illiteracy.
Balanced Literacy is now jargon for try-anything-maybe-you’ll-get-lucky.
During most of the time Lucy was preaching her fake theory, I was writing articles saying hey, this is obviously bad theory. I enjoy thinking I made a small contribution to her ideas being rejected by Columbia University and Teachers College.
(Here's some background: "Episode 118: Reading Rescued" -- https://letsfixeducation.buzzsprout.com/1792553/13712120-episode-118-reading-rescued-thanks-to-lucy-calkins-oct-4-2023 )
The knowledge was always there for anybody who cared to listen. Rudolf Flesch wrote his famous book in 1955 explaining that sight-words are the reason Why Johnny Can't Read.
More recently, Marva Collins, who operated her own school in Chicago, stated: Most children can learn to read in first grade!
My message to the slackers of education: if you can't do what Marva did, you should retire.
English is a phonetic language and must be taught with phonetics, i.e. phonics. It's a vast language with nearly 1,000,000 words but only someone with a photographic memory can memorize even 500 sight-words. Literacy rates have dropped continuously since the imposition of sight-words. That’s all you need to know to reject sight-words.
Here is Marva Collins in her book Marva Collins’ Way: “Children as young as 3-1/2 to 4 years of age, are admitted to my school at the beginning of every school year in September.
I guarantee that they will all be reading by Christmas, three months later. That has been the results since I started my school in 1975.”
————————------------------------------------------------------
Here's where we are now. If you search the terms balanced literacy, science of reading and similar, you will find a shocking array of conflicting opinions about how to teach reading. I doubt there has ever been such chaos in the Education Establishment.
I suspect one of the things the professors learned from almost a century of promoting bad ideas is that you don't need to win every argument, or enforce every opinion. You only need to inject a bad habit or two in every student. They will be damaged and literacy will continue to decline. I believe that is the goal.
So all the confusion is not necessarily a weakness. People don't realize where each kid is being damaged the most. So a lot of bad instruction will continue in plain sight.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you are hoping that sight-words do work, see this video. Only seven minutes and you'll know the horror.
“How Dolch Words Cause Illiteracy and Dyslexia”
youtube
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CODA: We need to get the whole country involved at a little higher level. That's how we get the reform we need. See Episode 118 on Let's Fix Education
.https://www.buzzsprout.com/1792553/episodes/13791258
#sightwords #phonics #illiteracy #communism #agitprop #dyslexia #knowledge #teachers #literature #books #academicsuccess #dumbingdown #ignorance #K12 #literary #dolchwords
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ep 30
"the prince from the letters" out of context is a crazy title. honestly if i was a bystander i would assume it was the frog
beroba doing the into narration
watching them in quick succession, the past 3 episodes and this one have really just been about alienating keiwa by making her friends into unrealized plot devices
anyways back to torturing na-go on her birthday i guess
honestly very mature of her to just walk out and not even lash out at kyuun. that's doll training i suppose
we paid a lot for this fight scene you're watching it again
eugh the way the spikes come out of the wall and skewer bishop is so violent for no reason
not gonna get the audio but when michinaga says "Did you think I couldn't win unless you pulled this crap?" with the most offended tone
and then this shot. a crucial and delicious morsel. they can communicate not only via expression but by /masked expression/
doll time
the way neon approaches her mom as if she's small. speaking softly, offering the na-go id core with cupped hands
this is so fucked. it never gets less upsetting to watch.
really funny tho that kousei's lounge has so many like. trinkets to knock over when hes belligerently drunk. he's paying for that. we've seen his actual house, it's modernist with minimal stylish decor. in this room tho there's just wooden objects for smashing.
so much of this show is about like. /the dead can't come back to life/. but it can't decide whether that's true or not. i like that. i like the idea that death is something that can be reversed/circumvented/made pointless. but it effectively costs the person's identity.
that being said fuck kurama kousei and his crocodile tears. i hope your daughter crashes your company and gives all your money to wild animals
god. "this was never my home." can you fucking imagine. if anyone reading this has tried to run away from home before, you know. it's really harrowing. it takes a lot to decide to do that, and even more to actually attempt it (and we know she's tried at least 52 times). it is a last resort that you take when you're in a situation where your only other way out is suicide. now imagine, after a year of trying to escape, if you found out the place you were fighting so hard to get out of, was never even for you. that you only existed to be a prisoner in that house. and the whole time you were a replacement for the daughter they lost. i'm thinking of "And did you know the Liberty Bell is a replica/Silently housed in its original walls/And while its dreams played music in the night/Quietly, it was told to believe" from last words of a shooting star by mitski
still struggling with this concept that neon was designed to kousei's ideals ? bc while she has an entrepreneurial spirit, she doesn't seem to care about the company at all. in fact, she's repeatedly tried to escape that life altogether. this is a very direct metaphor for how a parent's plan for their child will never come to fruition and only seeds resentment. but the dgp could have made a child that did follow his orders, and they didn't. who made that decision? niram? the game master who operated the wish command? the goddess herself? honestly, i think it was a combination therein bc they knew neon would make a good contestant when the time came
it's also useful to know the dgp has been in the modern day timeline for at least 11 years. and somehow kousei knew how to get a hold of niram? how did that relationship begin? networking???
kousei: the only way to save my daughter... is to marry her into your future wealth and status kyuun: um no fucking way
^ seriously even kyuundere the stalker doesn't agree with you man
COME ON
chirami knew about the situation with na-go Obviously and it's probably why she got picked to be the desastar in the first place.
tsumuri crying? shedding tears? over a player?! this is actually big news for the invisible tsumuri cult-breaking narrative that only i seem to know or care about
"You can't look away. Your job as the Narrator is to see how the players' ideals play out."
^ LIKE THATS CRAZY. tsumuri physically shutting her eyes, wishing that this engine would stop, and being told that she Must be complicit, she Must keep her eyes open and keep watching the show. and then she just turns back to the screen, fights her expression back into a neutral one and tries not to cry.
ok now quick ace shoot him in the head. shoot him. with the gun.
you're talking to ukiyo fucking ace, the mega autistic tv personality guy who racked his entire emotional state onto a fish hook that gets ripped out every six months. there is no shot The Sensitive Blogger has a worse inability to share earnest feelings than him. and he's still nice to na-go, arguably nicer to her than to anyone else. get real and also die
ace: [storming out before he crazy murders a supporter] kyuun: [another stupid fucking question]
neon has officially started seeing ghosts! congratulations!
geats is literally like those posts about people watching the wrong movie, like watching like a super heavy drama and waiting for a big monster show up. and then the dunkleosteus shows up.
now how did ace find neon? i'll chalk it up to his enhanced senses + plot convenience powers
the dunkleosteus that eats neon is actually so fucking scary i would die if that happened to me AND THEN ALL THE CAMERAS???? at least her hair and outfit are still fine and not super wet and ruined from getting carried in the jaws of a prehistoric fish
calling it a public execution. with the big cleaver sword. its like pyramidhead but for being a teenage girl
here's the part that makes it. will she let herself die? or is being a kamen rider more important?
back to ace's gay little run. the genuine shock on his face when he sees michinaga too.
michinaga blatantly acting in this scene. standing and talking like he's delivering lines straight into the audience v
michinaga revealing that his plan is to get rid of the entire dgp. i remember this being huge when it first aired, and how excited i was to be right. also his face gets so red after that little collar grab back and forth.
it's telling but not surprising that the audience actually loves the jgp. they want kamen riders to suffer.
oh and daichi is just in the jail room torturing keiwa for no reason. can we kill this guy already
some starting evidence for the Happiness axis of the magic system. this will become relevant quite soon!
keiwa saying that neon's wish is what justifies her right to happiness is interesting. i think it's her recognizing that neon's wish and her own wish for world peace come from the same place of wanting to make people happy, which is part of what makes them so well-suited (lol) to be kamen riders but not necessarily to the dgp
YESSSSSSSS YEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK YEAHHHHHHH
IF SHE IS NOTHING ELSE. SHE IS STILL KAMEN RIDER NA-GO. AND SHE REFUSES TO LET THE WORLD DIE
unfortunately bc she still has no will to live/to happiness, her suit reads that and isn't very powerful. this is an unnamed but established phenomenon in geats specifically. the amount you believe in yourself directly correlates to your suit's power level. that's why geats is so strong and also so fucking unbearable.
speaking of, geats on the sidelines coming to terms with the fact that hes not the only "chosen one" bc it means he can find camaraderie and purpose in being neon's friend. maybe neither of them have to be alone. and he's hoping if he believes in her hard enough, her suit will work.
AND IT WORKS! several recent happy memories are beamed into her head and she's able to get up! fuck yes!
HUD shot! also "armor break!" being a thing that can happen?? crazy
ok the go-pro shot of her going to the ground was unnecessary
ace's grin that totally doesn't reach his eyes as kyuun runs up. this is a narrative victory, not a personal one.
writing the letters and then reading them out loud is the right move so i'm glad he at least figured that out. it's the bare minimum and certainly not enough to redeem him. but its something. he prevented na-go from getting decapitated at least.
neon is literally bleeding on the ground like 'are you really monologuing right now? my ribs are broken'
TALK FASTERRRRRR SHES BLEEDING OUT
ripping up the letter in front of her is bad optics man. have some tact
neon looking at him like /i wish this meant anything but this guy was literally just mean to me and then wrote sappy letters and also never gave me buckles and made me responsible for his emotional burden and he's kind of still doing that right now by taking this moment of rock bottom in my life to break out of his shell and i'm smelling burning is that normal?/
AGAIN like this could have been SO COMPELLING if it was between her and the other riders, like learning to trust and found family and all that stuff, but it's just some random guy from the future instead. twice now we've seen a main character go through something seemingly unbearable but then they have to emotionally shepherd their fucking supporter through it. its odd
i don't agree with everything she did but i'm with her on this
one thing we're gonna see is ace fighting jamato in a hallway
ill be honest i kinda wanted to watch na-go fight. in the na-go centric episodes. i kinda wanted that to happen. but laser boost is cool i guess
this seems like a really awkward scene to shoot. also how does she know to put up her hands for something?
she finally gets a fucking buckle! its a basic fucking boost buckle. ok. geats got laser boost and it wasn't even his birthday and she got a fucking boost buckle? the one-use item? not even like a new axe?
healing my inner/ghost child when a giant winged lion robot brings me a boost for my power armor
this scene is neon forgiving her newfound survivor's guilt. and reshaping her perspective bc even tho she's not akari, she's the one who's still alive. she has to live for akari if nothing else.
^ imagine if this scene had been a conversation between her and michinaga (who has a similar position of being the one who survived and has to keep fighting) instead of being about kyuun. i dont think michinaga would stay to fight her in the "true" timeline, but i can still imagine her showing up to the fight via dunkie and michinaga urging her to stand up and fight, and she can't bc how could she? and michinaga gives her some hard advice about not letting yourself die, because then it was all for nothing. and she internalizes that and hugs akari and they both turn and fight dunkie. just a thought. if she's not gonna get a power up anyway
FUCK YEAH THERE WE GO. RIDING THE CARD INTO AN ATTACK FUCK YES
nauseating geats pov where he uses his spatial powers he has now
BEAT BOOST GRAND VICTORY! CUT THAT THING IN HALF!
daichi's pocket watch/stim toy that he just threw on the ground?
i don't fuck with this ending scene. i don't think kyuun has earned this at all. i don't think neon should be so thankful towards him. i get why she might be, in this distressed situation where he did save her life. but this scene is so nothing. when it could be between neon and a character that matters. also there's no world where neon chooses to go with kyuun over HER CLOSEST FRIENDS WHO ARE THERE FOR HER
there's that extended shot of ace like looking at neon over his shoulder and thinking then looking back and shaking his head and his jaw twitches. whats the point of that? when i first watched it i assumed he was thinking about asking neon to live with him but i don't know if that's really it
the implication of archimedel about to cut his hand off lol
oo yucky closeup of michinaga's current jamavine hand situation. also why is he still in the jamato hq? leave! i mean he tries to but he still listens when beroba tells him about geats
this scene the first time was so freaky. why did they do it like this. there was no reason for it to be a culty ritual thing like this.
"mitsume" as in michinaga doesn't know that name bc geats never said it to him and he doesnt watch the show. but beroba assumes he knows bc she watches the show and spills that it's geats' mom
this wrinkled tablecloth...
THE VISION DRIVER CONTAINS ALL RECORDS REGARDING PRODUCTION!
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Spider-Man Read-Through 016: Let's finish 1972! (ASM 110-115)
MASTERPOST
Dear readers,
This is it! The Lee-Ditko team is about to break up! Conway is going to take over Lee's mantel, a 19 years old dude entrusted with what was already a renowned character.
The last batch was painful at times, captivating some other times. I especially enjoyed the fanservice.
Want some context? Keep reading!
So this set of issue, Lee's last ish, introduces... the Gibbon.
And to be fair, the Gibbon is a nice character. For his last (regular, at least) outing, Stan introduces a character with a lot of empathy. Ostracized for his face and abilities, Marty is a gentle figure and immediately nice to the hero, which you never get enough of in these comics.
Both artists also gift me with some supreme Parker whump that just keeps on going. So here's a few panels to celebrate that!
A look at everybody's outfit: I particularly enjoy Harry's! It feels modern, in his own way. Is it because he has a much better mental health since he left the hospital? Maybe. Gwen has bold red, it suits her well.
Pete's still afraid of Flash stealing his girl, but Flash actually just promised Gwen he'd try to be a friend to Peter, which is great development. They do become roommates later on... Or is Ned?
Anyway, we get to see Peter's O-Face once again.
This issue's giving me everything I ever wanted: angst, whump, Parksborn, it's great.
When Pete wakes up, the Gibbon tries to speedrun TASM2 and quickly feels betrayed when Spidey laughs at him for suggesting they'd partner up.
Not far from them, somebody seems to be satisfied with what his gaze has set on.
A requested villain? No way... Surely... It can't be... The Wall?
(It isn't.)
Lee's last regular issue is a surprising delight, in spite of the first look I had at it. The ridiculous costume is acknowledged, and there's plenty of soap. Luv it.
I wanted to check out the reader's letters, but my scans don't have them and the archive I used last time was deleted. In the space of two weeks!!!! This is absurd.
Anyway.
Let's make way for baby Conway! What's his first SM story gonna be like, under Lee's supervision?
Well Kraven's sure gonna show us with his fabulous dancer's soles and sexy pantyhose. Turns out he wants revenge for his dino pet (understandable). So Kraven's basically Newt Geizler, nice.
As implied in the previous issue, May is going away, letting the readers (and the writers, who don't know what to do with her) breathe a sigh of relief. Peter wonders with whom May could leave, completely forgetting that she has a girlfriend in the person of Anna.
Kraven drugs the Gibbon and subsequently takes over him. It's no time for nipple lasers!
This leads me to think the reason Gerry Conway started in the middle of a mini-arc was for Lee to show him the ropes. The style is pretty much identical to Stan's, maybe so as to not shock the readers (in the same way Romita tried to imitate Ditko's style in 39-40).
(Peter looking like a sad boi.)
The issue features nice word art for Kraven's commands to the Gibbon.
Issue #111 is a nice one, not that remarkable. The Gibbon gets out of Kraven's grip, but nothing's too conclusive...
I have the letters, though! James Brandwein hopes Stan "doesn't do something dumb, like kill [Gwen]". Hahaha. He also hopes that Peter doesn't get married. Did he plot Mephisto's inference with the plot? Hmm!
Mark Wilson asks for a mystery villain, whose identity shall be unknown for years! He should be satisfied with the upcoming Hobgoblin storyline. He argues that back in the day, the Green Goblin's identity was a source of discussions with fellow fans. (I guess this ask actually inspired the Jackal, but his identity would be revealed not too late.)
In issue #112, Peter gets a few new facial expressions. The mystery of May's disappearance (because it's a mystery now, apparently) paces the issue. Gwen gets some welcome characterization and also says Flash had promised he wouldn't ~ride~ Peter anymore. She's very disapproving of their bedroom activities, obviously.
Doc Ock announced his arrival through Romita having a lot of fun drawing great perspectives. And continuing in issue 113, the perspective shots are at least nice to look at. The issue also advertises Team Up because they need that sweet money, but I don't care about it.
I was just thinking I missed the side characters when Randy Robertson pops up, which makes me very happy. He's no Hobie Brown, but he's still Randy.
The Peter whump continues to my delight, and Doc Ock looks for a nightclub. He's always had that Elton John look, so I'm not surprised. Seems like the gangs are fighting ahead, and a "Mr. H" namedrop leads me to think Hammerhead's back... I'm already dealing with him in Insomniac's Spider-Man DLC (hey, remember when he died but was revived after his death being a life-changing event for a developing character? that sucked!) And his squared head appears a few panels later, so I was right. The two villains start fighting, but Peter gets whumped harder and offers me some nice shots...
... and the whump soon turns into shirtless visuals, as is bound to happen...
... and turns back into whump so whumpy I might have written it when I was a teenager. 19-year old Gerry Conway doesn't disappoint.
Romita completely succeeds at making Peter look frail in these issues (and particularly this one), so kudos to him. Please produce more of this, please.
In issue #114, Peter finds himself a passion for architecture.
More importantly, Professor Warren's back too. Gerry Conway, I see you... And Gwen once again gets angry at Flash for him making fun of Peter. Déjà vu... but it makes me think Flash and Gwen could be a compelling couple...
Turns out May was at Ock's, being a nice little houseworker, and she does not take Spidey intruding gladly.
In the letters, Jeff H. Berlin complains about Peter's distrust of Gwen, and I agree with him. He has no faith in her and immediately jumps to the wrong conclusion.
May got away, and this is just a nice set of panels.
All is well that ends well (Ock does have a word with May before leaving with the cops called by Robbie), but Peter truly looks like a puppy with his shojo eyes.
Yeah, because making an old lady work is very nice of Ock.
Like I said, very sad puppy indeed.
You know, I'm very glad to have read this arc, because it gives context to what happens later... Hammerhead's first appearance and rivalry with Doc Ock, May's behavior, the relationships between Gwen, Flash and Peter... and since we just finished up with the year 1972, next time, we'll enter year 1973. That's right, baby, two (arguably, three) years I've fully read before, and multiple times too!
The Green Goblin (finally) comes back, in multiple ways! The first Clone Saga is ashore! Are we ready?
I repeat:
ARE WE READY?!
#spider-man#peter parker#whump#gwen stacy#parksborn#kraven#flash thompson#dr octopus#hammerhead#comics#comic books
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Love Delivered To Your Doorstep
Evan Buckley x Reader
Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of cheating, break ups and killing/serial killers. (<in a joking context)
Category: fluff for the most part.
Word Count: 3.9k
Author’s Note: Doesn’t follow canon, it has a little of buck begins in there but it doesn't follow a strict timeline. It also is written like Buck moves to LA and has his apartment from the moment he moves there while trying to figure out what he wants to do.
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Texting and calling was never your choice method of communication.
Letters had always been more of your thing.
Truthfully, they hadn't been your thing until your boyfriend moved halfway across the country for university. The two of you met in high school, freshman year and became inseparable since. Growing together and promising to always love each other no matter what -you always knew that couldn't be true but it never stopped you from telling him.
When he told you that he was going to be applying to UCLA during your senior year of high school, it came as a bit of a shock to you. The plan was always going to college together, get engaged when you were done school and then married with a house by 30.
You held out the hope of that being possible until the day he showed you his acceptance letter.
You were incredibly proud of him but it was real now, he was leaving.
You watched him pack up his entire life and uproot himself from New York and moved across the country. You sent the first letter to him at what was supposed to be his apartment.
September 30th.
‘Hi baby!
Just writing to see how you're settling in. How’s UCLA ? Have you gotten a chance to go around and get to see the place ? I know you’re there for school but you've got to live a little too. Hope your neighbours are sweet, your mom told me it’s a pretty nice place and it’s got a good view, sounds like your type of place. Hopefully I can come visit you soon.
I started my classes last week. My chem professor is a pain in my ass already, he expects us to read an entire textbook in a week - well not exactly an entire textbook but you get the point. My biology professor is a sweetheart, she showed us pictures of her kids and talked about them for an hour, I didn't realize being a mother was so interesting but she was cool. Also showed us a video of an appendectomy that one of her colleagues performed last week. How are your classes and professors ?
Did I mention I bumped into Sam at the grocery store ? Yeah, he’s back and he’s not fine to tell you the truth. He seemed like he was ready to snap but that might just be my judgment. He said to tell you hello if I spoke to you so- hello :)
I’m going to sign off here, I know this one is short but I don’t have much to update you on. Life’s been pretty dull without you. Hope you’re having fun out there, soaking up the sun for me.
Write me back soon, I love you.
Yours always, y/n’
You mailed the letter the next day, a few weeks had passed before you received a letter back. Except this letter had a different sender name but the same address.
October 22nd.
‘Hi y/n,
This isn't your boyfriend. (I'm assuming that’s who you're writing too based on the context of the letter) I’m Evan, I live in the apartment you thought belonged to your boyfriend or maybe you got the address wrong, I’m not sure. I know you were waiting for an update on all these exciting things that are happening at UCLA. I do not go to UCLA nor can I update you in anything exciting that’s happening there, sorry.
Anyways, the reason I'm writing you back is because I figured you’d want to know that this isn't the correct address and the person you were looking for isn't here before you send another letter and get no response. I was debating if I should have even written you back, but here I am, writing you back.
Your professor for chem seems like an ass to be honest (hope that’s not rude) and your biology professor sounds great, is she hot by the way ? because bonus points for that. Anyways, are you studying medicine ? I'm guessing yes because of the classes you're taking. I'm thinking of signing up to become a first responder but I haven’t decided yet on what yet or if I'm actually going to do it. Anyways, good luck on your classes and the shitty chem professor.
Hope you find your boyfriend (again, assuming)
Peace out,
Evan.’
To say you were shocked would be an understatement. How could the letter you sent to your boyfriend’s apartment belong to someone else ? Why was there someone else living in his apartment ? You dug through your apartment, searching for the paper he left you with the address, you finally found it buried in a drawer.
The address on the paper was identical to the one that Evan sent to you and to the one you sent prior to that. Either your boyfriend was lying or you were losing your mind.
November 4th.
‘Dear Evan,
I'm sorry that I sent the first letter to you and as you guessed, I was looking for my boyfriend who seems to be a bit MIA right now. His mother says that’s the right address and the place that she helped him move into. So I'm not really sure what’s happening there. Anyways, sorry for unloading all of that on you.
To answer your question, yes, I am studying medicine and no, she isn't hot. My bio professor is a 65 year old woman who loves her college aged kids very much. If that’s your definition of hot, then yes - she's got milf status
Have you decided yet if you’re going to sign up to be a first responder ? That’d be pretty cool. Imagine all the girls swoon over you and how many girls you’d pick up just for being a paramedic or a firefighter.
Wait, are you into girls ? Or guys ? You know, whoever you're into, just imagine how many of them you’d pick up.
Also, you’re not a murderer or anything right ? because I rather not answer questions when the police come asking about why I've been sending letters to a serial killer.
Anyways, signing off for now.
Yours always, y/n.
ps. if you do end up bumping into or meeting a guy that looks like my boyfriend, (tall, brown hair, brown eyes. he’s got a pierced ear and a little butterfly tattoo by his collarbone- though not sure why or how you'd see his collarbone) let me know or tell him that his girlfriend is looking for him.
Double ps, what size shirt do you wear ?’
Buck laughed at your absurd question. A person he didn’t even know was asking what size shirt he wore. The letter was set on the coffee table with the rest of the mail, getting buried under all of the stuff he had on there. It was almost the end of December when he realized that he hadn't written you back yet.
December 21st.
‘Hey y/n,
Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. Things have been hectic over here. I’ve been doing some ‘soul-searching’ - I guess you could call it that and honestly, I don’t think if this whole first responders thing is for me.
I tried out bartending or well, the technical term is mixologist and I’m liking it so far, I think i’m going to stick with it for now.
How have you been ? How’s school ? Surely, you’re on break for the holidays right about now or at least when you get this letter. I hope that you're spending the break doing something fun.
I’m not going to make this very long, I’m sure you’ve been busy with whatever you’re doing right now.
Also, I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you located the mysteriously disappearing boyfriend yet ? I haven't seen anyone that fit your description.
well, that’s not true- I did and just to be sure I asked to see his collarbone, he looked at me like I was a mad man so I guess it wasn't him ?
Anyways, I hope you have a good holiday and you're probably gonna get this sometime between holidays, so merry belated (?) Christmas and happy New Years y/n.
Peace out,
Evan.
ps. medium or large, depending on what it is. Hopefully that answers your question weirdo.’
January 13th.
The morning of the 13th, he went down to check his mail. A box was there with his name on it, the return address was one he had only seen on an envelope. The box returned upstairs with him, setting it on the counter before opening it.
Upon opening it, there was a letter and some colourful tissue paper with what seemed like a sweater under it. He opened the letter first.
‘Dear Evan,
Happy New Years! How was your holiday going ? Did you do anything fun ?
I’ve been good and school is good too, I'm almost done my first year, isn't that crazy ? Just a few more months to go.
How’s your job as mr. mixologist going ? I'm sure you’ve met some wild people and heard some interesting stories.
As for the boyfriend situation, that's over. I’m not surprised to tell you the truth but it still kinda sucks. Anyways, so what happened was that his older brother had come home from college last year and brought a friend with him. She went to the same school as his brother but transferred to UCLA- anyways long story short, they hooked up while he and I were still together and he moved in with her after his mom helped him move into the apartment I thought he had.
But! I’m single and chilling now so it’s all good. (bonus, she cheated on him and left him so yeah)
I got you a little something for Christmas and as a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present. I was in the gift shop and it made me think of you. Do you celebrate Christmas? I forgot to check oops. If you don't, count it as a just a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present?
I got a large because I wasn't sure if it would fit. I hope you like it. That’s all for now.
Yours always, y/n.’
He unwrapped the tissue paper to see a blue sweater with the letters NYU on it. He smiled, he assumed that’s where you went. It was sweet that you took the time to get him something, even if it was a by the way thing. Not a lot of people would send something to a person they had been talking to via letters and halfway across the country.
February 12th.
2 days before Valentine's Day, your least favourite holiday of the year. You weren't looking forward to watching all your friends going on with their boyfriends and girlfriends. The mail had arrived while you were out, you picked it up and headed in. There were two envelopes with your name on it, a plain white one and a red one. The red envelope was more squared than rectangular, you assumed it was a card- both had the same sender name.
‘Hey y/n!
Thank you for the sweater, it was nice of you to think of me and get me something. I didn’t know we were doing gifts or I would have sent you something as well and yes, I do celebrate Christmas.
My job as ‘mr. mixologist’ was going well until I quit. It just didn’t feel like the right fit for me you know ? I'm going to see what else is out there for me.
Sorry to hear about your boyfriend, he seems like a douche. Who would cheat on you ? You seem great I mean at least you are on paper (did you get my joke, it’s hard to tell)
Also, remember how I was thinking I might actually give that first responder thing a try? Imagine me as a firefighter, that’s pretty cool right ?
So I kinda did a thing and signed up and then I got in. I started two weeks ago and it was kicking my ass at first but I've gotten a hang of it and things are going pretty well. There's three other Evans in my class so everyone calls me Buck-I kind of like it.
The other envelope, hopefully you opened this one first, is a little something for you for valentines. Hope you like it.
Peace out,
Buck’
The red envelope was on your lap, you pulled the edges carefully not wanting to rip it. Inside was a plain white card with bright red letters that made you laugh. The cover read ‘I’m not sick of you yet!” Opening the card, a $20 fell onto your lap. There was a little message inside that went along with the cash.
‘Since we aren't together and can’t spend valentines together, there’s some cash to get yourself a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. Happy Valentines Day y/n
Love, Buck.’
You smile, this was the first time that Buck had signed with ‘love, buck’ it had always been ‘peace out, buck.’ You tucked the card into the drawer, one you didn’t use very often so you knew it’d be safe there.
*4 years later*
A few weeks had passed since Buck had last heard from y/n. His last letter to her was at the end of June, telling her all about the day he had spent at Hen and Karen’s. He always described every little detail so vividly that it made her feel like she was there with him- but it was now July, end of actually and moving into August.
4 years had blown like nothing.
It felt like just yesterday he got the first letter in the mail. 4 years and they still had no idea what each other looked like but they knew every intricate and intimate detail about each other, their lives and the people in it.
Y/n and Buck had grown rather close over the last few months- more than they already were. Y/n just went through a pretty shitty break up and Buck wasn't exactly big on relationships as of right now.
He had just gotten home from work, his keys set on the counter when he realized that he forgot to check his mail. Stepping back out, there was a woman in the hallway and boxes scattered across her, leading into the apartment down the hall.
She must be his new neighbour.
He wanted to go over and introduce himself but she was busy telling the movers where to set her couch so he decided that he would check the mail and then introduce himself when he returned so he did just that.
Except, she was still busy.
She leaned against the wall, watching the movers move what looked like a coffee table. She glanced up to see Buck walking by, she smiled and he returned the smile.
Buck reaches his apartment, the mail in hand and steps in. He sorts through the pile, bills, ads, coupons and no letter from y/n.
---
Your new apartment was a mess. You decided it was time for a change. You applied to a few hospitals after your break up and the one in LA hired you. So you dropped everything and moved- no family, no ties.
A fresh start.
It was a nice neighbourhood and the building was quiet. The neighbours you met were pleasant and welcoming. When you were having the furniture moved in, there was a blonde man who smiled at you and you assumed he lived in the unit down the hall because that’s where he stepped into.
It was almost 11pm when you finally sat down. You had been on your feet all day and just wanted to eat something. The box with the dishes was beside the couch, you pulled the tape off and opened it. There was an envelope sitting on top of the stack of plates.
Buck’s last letter to you.
You must have tossed it into the boxes while packing and you forgot to write him back. Tumbling through the boxes, you find a sheet of paper and a pen from your bag. Sitting on the floor, the paper resting on an unopened box, you begin writing.
‘Dear Buck,
I’m sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. I quit my job, and uprooted my entire life. The break up sucked major ass as you know, so I decided it was time for a change.
Guess where I decided to go ?
Did you guess yet?
No, not Canada, why would you guess Canada ?
LA!
Yeah, isn't that crazy that I ended up here of all places? Maybe we could get together one day (if you haven’t turned into a crazy serial killer that is.)
Anyways, that’s why I've taken so long to write. I was packing when I got your letter and I tossed it in a box and just found it again. Anyways, I hope you’ve been good, how have things been at the station ?
I promise I'll write again with more details soon, I just have to get settled in first.
Yours always, y/n.’
Folding the paper, you slipped into an envelope. The address being scribbled into the back of the envelope. You were about to seal it when the building number caught your eye.
It was the same number as the place you moved into. The same address, the building number, the same floor.
The unit number was the only difference.
There was no way you moved into the building that Buck lived in.
You knew the address felt familiar when you saw the listing but you didn’t think anything of it nor did it occur to you that you knew the address.
Stepping out of your apartment, looking at the number on the room and back down at the envelope in your hand. Buck’s apartment was down the hall.
Part of you just wanted to mail it and keep things as it was but another part of you wanted to meet him, to see what he was really like in person. So there you were walking down the hallway at a quarter past 11 in the dead of the night to meet a man you had been sending letters to for the last 4 years.
The end of the hallway, you stared at the black wooden door in front of you. Your brain weighing the options right now: he’s a sweetheart and welcoming and makes you feel comfortable or he’s a weird guy who’s been lying to you this whole time and you told him everything about you and now he’s going to kill you.
Before you could register what you were doing, you knocked on the door.
Glancing down at yourself, you were wearing a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt from high school that you found in a drawer while packing. Not an ideal outfit, maybe he’s sleeping and you can go home and change- the door opened, a man wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt stood there. He looked like he had just woken up.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“It's alright,” he yawned, his hand covering his mouth as he blinked away a few tears. “What can I do for you ?” he leaned against the door.
“Um, this is an odd question-” you shifted, glancing down at the envelope in your hand. “Are you Buck ?”
“I am, who are you ?”
“Y/n.”
You had never seen a man wake up that fast, he seemed surprised, confused and concerned all in one. “How- uh, are you- What ?” he mumbled.
“I found your letter in the box after I moved, I moved into the apartment down the hall” you point to your left, Buck sticks his head out of the doorway and looks at the door you were pointing to. You were the woman in the hallway that he saw earlier, he knew you looked familiar.
“I just wrote your letter and I noticed that the addresses were the same, just a different unit number so I decided to come check. Sorry if I bothered you, we can talk another day- it’s late and you probably have work” “Would you like to come in?” he opens the door a bit more, looking to you for an answer.
“Um, okay sure.” stepping in, you can’t help but glance around. The apartment was similar to yours, the layout was a bit different though. “Can I get you something to drink ? Coffee, water ? A beer ?” he rounded the kitchen counter, you took a seat on one of the chairs by the counter.
“Water’s fine, thanks”
He reached for a bottle from the fridge, sliding it over to you. You gave him a smile, he leaned against the counter and was now looking- studying you.
“I know we’ve talked to each other for 4 years but this is kinda strange” you chuckled awkwardly, Buck can't help but smile.
“Yeah, it is, isn't it? but can I ask why you moved to LA?”
“Well all of that was in the letter” you slide the envelope across the counter and he picks it up, opening it. Giving him a few moments to read, you watch his expression like you were hoping for some insight as to how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He let out a laugh, “how’d you know I'd guess Canada ?” you smiled at him, a small wave of relief washing over you for some reason. “Lucky guess I suppose”
“Do you-” “What are-” the sentences cutting each other off, the two of you awkwardly smiling at each other. “You first” looking at him, he hums.
“Do you have work tomorrow or are you busy ?” His eyes meet yours, you found yourself leaning forwards towards the counter- towards him. He made you feel comfortable, you’d go as far as to say safe, in a way you’ve never felt before.
“No, I don't start until the 21st. Why ?”
“I was thinking - if you're not busy and if you want to, of course. Maybe I could take you out for breakfast and I could show you around ? Or lunch or dinner ? Whatever works for you actually” he rambles, fiddling with his fingers to avoid eye contact.
A small laugh slips past your lips causing him to look up, his brows furrowed as he studies your face, looking for an answer.
“Breakfast sounds good, what time should I be ready for ?”
“Uh, is 10 okay ?” he asks, you nod. “I’ll be ready for 10 then.”
“Okay, I'll pick you up” he smiles.
“Buck, we live in the same building.”
“Oh right,” he chuckles, “well I'll be by yours at 10 then” the two of you smiling at each other.
“Okay.”
----
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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.
lol what
I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass
also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go
IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida
meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still
“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT
yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol
LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then
oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan
by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree
and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez
anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol
OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent
so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient
mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!
FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?
in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no
oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!
poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol
omg. well that answers that
so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible
(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.
and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)
by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol
WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI


YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR
okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward
dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”
actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol
(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)
whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT
-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao
and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices
poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS
FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami
okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces
um excuse me this is fucking awesome
wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk
TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY
WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE
and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji
KAMINARI OMFG
it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice
aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude
oh shit the mask!!
-- oh shit the feels
o(TヘTo)
fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...
and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance
(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.
incidentally, as @class1akids pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)
anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!
“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal
p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked
ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last
okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago
but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once
and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama
and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED
#bnha 320#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#asui tsuyu#tokoyami fumikage#kaminari denki#todoroki shouto#class 1-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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So I have been trying to read the paper on the destruction of Asgard for days now, and I was hoping to get some input/theories on it. I first wanted to read it because I was curious if Loki actually knew the Hulk was involved in Ragnarok in some way after using him in his salad example (or if he just simply was thinking about getting back at Hulk for what happened in Avengers lol). But the whole thing ended up being more interesting than I thought it would be, and I wanted to share my thoughts and hear from anyone else who would like to share their own.
After much zooming and squinting, here is what it says (anything in [brackets] is my best guess based on font, word length, and sentence structure):
EVENT INQUIRY DESTRUCTION OF ASGARD EVENT DETAILS
Event Analysis: Ragnarok (Class Seven Apocalypse): Total planetary body deletion of (1) Asgard (file: IPB-ASG-001)
Casualties: 9,719 (Entire Civilization Annihilation) (file: IPB-ASG-010)
Time Status: Displaced by 000:000:002:162
Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (IPB-SAK-324) (see case file: IPB-ASG-012) see case files: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892
Event Summary: Full event analysis may be requested. Please see IPB-[TVA-452?]. IPB-ASG-001 fell 000:000:002:162 off [schedule in?] an attack by IPB-ASG-012. IPB-ASG-012 was one of four (4) [possibilities?] for the event [IPB-ASG-893?]. These alternatives can be found on Page 7 of the IPB-ASG-895. Cause of displacement of the event was due to IPB-SAK-324 (see: Revengers), but with the completion of the event, the time variance displacement has been [deemed?] inconsequential by IPB-TVA-001. IPB-ASG-012 of IPB-NIL-001's destruction of IPB-ASG-001 has been deemed in totality. IPB-ASG-895 will be the final file of the IPB-ASG sequence. All other files regarding the further events of the people of IPB-ASG-001 can be found in IPB-ARK-001 and onwards.
RELATIVE CASE FILES Planetary Body: IPB-ASG-001, IPB-NIL-001 Event Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-010 Displacement Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892, IPB-SAK-324
(Further case files can be found in IPB-ASG-895)
(This gets very long... I’m sorry. XD)
First thing I want to touch on is all the dang CODES in this freaking thing, lol. Here is a (possible) full list of all of them:
IPB-ARK-001 IPB-ASG-001 IPB-ASG-004 IPB-ASG-005 IPB-ASG-010 IPB-ASG-012 IPB-ASG-157 IPB-ASG-892 [IPB-ASG-893?] IPB-ASG-895 IPB-NIL-001 IPB-SAK-324 IPB-TVA-001 [IPB-TVA-452?]
There are two we know for certain what they stand for:
IPB-ASG-001 = Asgard IPB-SAK-324 = Revengers
These are explicitly stated in the document. Knowing this, ASG seems to stand for “Asgard” and SAK would be “Sakaar”, which is where the Revengers were first formed. The other code letters used are ARK, NIL, and TVA. The last one is pretty obvious, and one could guess from context that ARK is likely referring to the Statesmen ship the Asgardians escaped on as it would be likened to an ark taking them to a new home and the fact that the letters have nothing to do with Tønsberg, Norway or New Asgard:
All other files regarding the further events of the people of IPB-ASG-001 can be found in IPB-ARK-001 and onwards.
Another possibility is it standing for “after Ragnarok”, but as ASG was referring to a physical place and not a time, it seems unlikely.
That would leave NIL. Let’s look at the context:
IPB-ASG-012 of IPB-NIL-001's destruction of IPB-ASG-001 has been deemed in totality.
IPB-NIL-001 seems to be another planet, one that IPB-ASG-012 is coming from. But this struck me as strange. The above sentence is talking about who is responsible for destroying Asgard, but the being in question has an ASG designation. Surtur is from Muspelheim, which not only doesn’t match the ASG code but doesn’t match NIL either. You could argue that Loki - who summoned Surtur - would fit ASG, but NIL doesn’t work for Jotunheim either.
Hela - who had long been banished to Niflheim - would, however, be a match on both counts. And to further bolster this theory, look at this line:
Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (IPB-SAK-324) (see case file: IPB-ASG-012)
The Revengers formed because Thor and Valkyrie wanted revenge against Hela, so it would make sense that to get further backstory on the Revengers, you should go look up Hela’s case file. So by this logic, this document is listing Hela as the one who destroyed Asgard, not Surtur or Loki.
I find this very interesting. I was under the assumption that Thor, Loki, etc got all of the remaining survivors out, but the death total of 9,719 made me wonder if that wasn’t the case. However if these are deaths caused by Hela, it could be that she killed over 9,000 people before Loki summoned Surtur to destroy the planet, so my initial assumption could still be true.
As for other unknown codes, IPB-ASG-010 could be referring to either the population of Asgard as a whole or the prophecy of Ragnarok based on these lines:
Casualties: 9,719 (Entire Civilization Annihilation) (file: IPB-ASG-010)
Event Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-010
The first use seems to lean towards the population but the second leans more towards the prophecy.
IPB-ASG-895 seems to point to Ragnarok in general as it’s own file as it is the last of the Asgardian files:
IPB-ASG-895 will be the final file of the IPB-ASG sequence.
And on top of that, the file we can read - pertaining specifically to the Hela side of the destruction - says to look through IPB-ASG-895 for further details:
(Further case files can be found in IPB-ASG-895)
And IPB-TVA-001 is pretty obviously either the Timekeepers or the TVA in general. So knowing/guessing all we do of the codes, let’s insert them into the file:
EVENT INQUIRY DESTRUCTION OF ASGARD EVENT DETAILS
Event Analysis: Ragnarok (Class Seven Apocalypse): Total planetary body deletion of (1) Asgard (file: Asgard, planet)
Casualties: 9,719 (Entire Civilization Annihilation) (file: Asgard, prophecy)
Time Status: Displaced by 000:000:002:162
Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (see case file: Hela) see case files: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892
Event Summary: Full event analysis may be requested. Please see IPB-[TVA-452?]. Asgard fell 000:000:002:162 off [schedule in?] an attack by Hela. Hela was one of four (4) [possibilities?] for the event [IPB-ASG-893?]. These alternatives can be found on Page 7 of the Ragnarok file. Cause of displacement of the event was due to the Revengers, but with the completion of the event, the time variance displacement has been [deemed?] inconsequential by the TVA. Hela of Niflheim's destruction of Asgard has been deemed in totality. Ragnarok will be the final file of the Asgard sequence. All other files regarding the further events of the people of Asgard can be found in the Statesmen files and onwards.
RELATIVE CASE FILES Planetary Body: Asgard, Niflheim Event Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, Asgard, prophecy Displacement Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892, the Revengers
(Further case files can be found in the Ragnarok file)
---------------
There are still a few file codes we don’t know. I had initially wondered if these codes:
Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (see case file: Hela) see case files: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892
were meant to be for the members of the Revengers themselves (Thor, Valkyrie, Hulk, and Loki?), but Hulk isn’t Asgardian and therefore shouldn’t have an ASG designation, and Hela is #012, but she was born before Thor and Loki (who might actually have a Jotunheim code rather than an Asgardian code, come to think of it), so it’d be weird if they had lower numbers then she did. I suppose the #004 and #005 could be Odin and Frigga, but other than being Hela’s parents, I don’t see why their files would be listed under the cause of the event and displacement.
Which leads me to what the file is actually saying, which personally I find fascinating! But first off we have to address the elephant in the room:
The “Zero Variance Energy Detected” that is so prominent in close ups is not actually in the document. Obviously this was simply an oversight, and they didn’t want to redo the entire page, so for ease’s sake, we’ll just pretend it’s in there.
So, based on that, it’s easy to see how Loki came to his conclusions about the variant being able to hide in apocalypses as this file directly states that there WAS some amount of time displacement caused by the Revengers during Hela’s attack but that no energy variance was detected. But even more interesting is this line:
Hela was one of four (4) [possibilities?] for the event [IPB-ASG-893?]. These alternatives can be found on Page 7 of the Ragnarok file. Cause of displacement of the event was due to the Revengers, but with the completion of the event, the time variance displacement has been [deemed?] inconsequential by the TVA.
Hela was only one out of four different possibilities to destroy Asgard, so when Mobius says that “it’s more complicated than that” in response to Loki saying that a nexus event is caused by “someone doing something they’re not supposed to do”, he wasn’t kidding! I wonder what the four different possibilities were. Was Surtur considered one? Who else could possibly be in that position to not only cause the destruction of the planet but also have killed all those people? Just how much wiggle room is there in this Sacred Timeline?
And this wasn’t even the 100% “correct” version of events! Remember, the Revengers did something that either brought the event on quicker or caused it to happen later than the Timekeepers planned through their Sacred Timeline. Thor did say that Loki was “late” in showing up, so maybe this is a nod to that line from the film.
Anyway, it is getting quite late, and I have written a lot. I’m not entirely sure it all makes sense anymore, but I have been thinking about this a lot and wanted to put it out there in case anyone else had any differing ideas that made more sense, lol. If you made it this far, have a virtual high five! XD
(I’m just really loving this show so far, ok? lol)
#loki#mcu#marvel#mcu loki#marvel loki#spoilers#loki spoilers#loki series#loki series spoilers#loki disney+#heck i don't know what tags people are using lol#gwy writes a literal essay#although i supposed this is more of a research paper lol#...i have been obsessed with deciphering this page man#my sister is so annoyed with me right now XD#but there are so many fun little tidbits in it#shut up this is my idea of fun lol
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Superman and Lois episode 11 season 2! Almost caught up!!!
"You're my son and I love you." YEAH YOU DO. Love a man who loves his son.
Okay so I got sucked into the episode and a lot is going on but mainly I'm just baffled by how hard we're leaning into the boys being right the last few episodes. Clark comes home and tells Jon that they're good, but he still wants to know why Jon didn't tell him about Candace. Jon literally starts his next sentence as if he's about to make a list of things he was thinking and Clark interrupts him after the first point to be like, "But shouldn't your girlfriend have been punished for dealing drugs?" Like, my dude, Clark, let the kid explain what he was thinking. Surely it would have occurred to Clark that Jon has had more than a month (I mean I know at this point Clark didn't know how long he was gone but he does know Jon had a few weeks to think at least) to think about that and he still decided not to give up Candace so can we please just hear him out. Like, Jon was right, Clark just doesn't listen. Clark opens up the space to listen, and then closes it as soon as he thinks!!! Jon has had his say. Which turns out is in ten words or less.
And then with Lois talking to Sarah, like Lois did the parental thing to do I guess, I personally wasn't mad at her. But her son is growing up and this is his first girlfriend and maybe Lois should be letting him fix or not fix his relationship with her. Give Jordan advice, and then let him go take it or not. I understand Jordan being upset, and Lois should maybe probably apologize for this? Like, my opinion is Jordan has a point by being upset that Lois took his phone (for what, exactly? was that punishment for something else or was it actually as random as it seemed?) when he was trying to talk to Sarah about it. And Lois later says that Jordan probably thought he was trying to give her context about their situation to Sarah BUT and I'm like Lois I know you didn't read the texts because that's uncalled for so what does she know how well Jordan was doing? And then she essentially forces him into doing her preferred method of figuring stuff out. Like, I think from an earlier scene Jordan found meaning in writing out the letter but still, he shouldn't have been forced into doing that. Jordan's pretty much valid, is my point here
And I completely get Clark and Lois being upset that both kids are upset about them while Lana is missing, but I think this makes a lot of sense. Jordan has been feeling misunderstood about the Sarah thing from the beginning of the season, and Jordan has been misunderstood this entire show. They can't ignore it anymore, they can't ignore their parent's not prioritizing their emotional needs anymore, even when the world is breaking. Like, when Jon started getting mad about Clark keeping his secret, I got frustrated with Clark for justifying the secret existing rather than realizing that Jon isn't upset about the secret. He's upset at his father's hypocrisy, at his father not listening to him, at Clark not stopping to consider what might be important for him. UGH, this is executed really well, this all feels messy in an actual family kind of way, and the longer it goes on, the less I believe it will be fixed in the family dynamic, which is probably how Jon feels bth
A side thought is that Jordan literally told Sarah that he was going through family stuff and she was like why don't you put me first and then Lois says exactly the same thing, and Sarah's suddenly all understanding about it like what on earth prime is going on here
Wait so Sarah finds out that Lana is gone, glass all over the living room floor and she doesn't call the cops?
I'm happy Sarah didn't take the letter, but I do wanna know what it says
Wait are we actually doing a thing here where we're blaming Clark's secret for ruining everything or something? Because Clark talking to Lana last night is probably the reason she didn't get kidnapped before she did. Clark is right that his secret gives his kids a normal life... the secret is not the problem, right? If you wanna tell Lana about the secret then fine but let's not pretend that the secret is the problem overall
I got invested again, I cannot believe that happened. The last scene... Lana knows. And Clark told her so beautifully. I felt that history I never got to see these actors play out. I might have cried, I'm fine.
Still don't think we should tell Sarah, but my goodness was the Lana of it all gorgeous. I have forgotten all other thoughts.
So there's another hiatus you say?
#superman & lois#superman and lois#s&l#lana lang#lana cushing#clark kent#superman#jon kent#jordan kent#lois lane#thoughtsfromthequeen
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Let’s Talk Calm-ly about Two Loves
OR: When you’re a grown man who writes stories for a living, you definitely wrote your own weird bedtime story, too.
The TLDR here is that H has taken one specific listener around the globe, notably to Tokyo and Jamaica. He quotes an old Victorian Poet who was an awful human but who’s lasting legacy is the phrase “a love that dare not speak its name” which is - you guessed it - a reference to queer love. He also is super excited to spend what seems like the foreseeable future with this listener and has bought a little house with a garden of daisies with them and it’s very sweet and domestic. Anyways this is a wild time and it’s all under a cut because it’s...really a lot.
Anyways I think the people I owe thank yous this times around to are @queenlokibeth who had to listen to me scream about this for a while, Astrid, who screamed with me when this came out, and “M” who convinced me to finally get to work in this fandom. And, of course, all of the lovely people tagged below who’s work I used to build my argument.
1.) Who Wrote “Dream With Me”?
Well, not H, or so the story goes. Two other people (Steve Cleverly and Sanj Sen) did! I mean, right, okay, for a while I was like...that seems like an odd choice for a man who didn’t want to hand Two Ghosts over to his own band because it seemed too personal. He wrote on every song in both albums’ he’s released thus far, because he seems to be passionate about telling the stories he wants to tell (even if he won’t tell you explicitly what they’re about). But for a while, I was totally going with the flow there, and the rest of this analysis would still stand: the writer of this story definitely referenced a poem by Lord Alfred Douglas and Harry’s own songs.
However, I then read this fun quote from the Co-founder and CEO of Calm:
“Well,” he said, “The the Harry Styles one is interesting because that came purely from Harry Styles himself...we took the approach of creating a sort of musical epic poem – he doesn’t sing, it’s spoken with poetry, but there’s a sort of musical sound bed to it and it’s pulling on things and themes that Harry’s fans really adore about him and associate with him. So his story was driven really by him – we really created a concept around him.”
- Chris Advansun, July 7th, 2020 via @hlupdate
And I thought, hmmm. This does not sound like a project that he was not involved in creating. From this point on (July, 7th 2020), I began to think of it as a three way co-collaboration between him and the other two authors. But this confused me a bit, because there was largely a nonreaction from the fandom. I was waiting for an actual transcript, because I always fall asleep to these meditation stories, but it was being referenced to as some sort of Y/N fic, which was...honestly not what I expected, but also not implausible, thanks to the ~lovely~ image this man has had since the age of sixteen. But also, twitter seemed to be concerned by other things at the moment, and no one was analyzing the story. .
In fact, I messaged a friend the day that this story dropped, because it had been kind of a shit show day on Twitter. Rumors were sort of flying about everyone and everything: had Liam shaved his head? Was he engaged? Had he and Maya broken up? Were Zayn and Gigi engaged? Had they broken up? Did Niall have a girlfriend? (this one was true lol). Were Elounor engaged? Were they pregnant? Had they broken up??? My personal fav was the bald Liam rumor, which he promptly put to rest in LP Act 1 by...having a huge mane of hair.
So then I thought - huh. Why has today looked like this? I’m not saying that there aren’t days that twitter goes wild because of boredom, because there definitely is - the articles about secret meetings in Italy that are coming out this week (8/12/2020) are proof positive. So that definitely does happen, but it doesn’t usually happen on the days that there’s a lot of content. And maybe I’ve just been starved for content in this fandom, but I would consider a 40 minute video quite a bit of content.
Then the transcript dropped. I’m using two as references - this one on Wattpad and also @carl-and-pearl ‘s version here (thank you so much for the transcript!!). We’re going to get into a more detailed description of what’s going on in the story, but the first thing I recognized immediately is that it was first person POV. I knew that going in, based on the number of Y/N jokes going around on twitter. Then I read it aloud, and I realized that it read like a letter. Like an experience specific to the writer and the reader. And while that’s not super uncommon to write about an experience from the author’s POV - I listen to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens: bedtime stories for adults which has a similar concept - I thought it was odd that they were trying to include both the author and the listener. I completely understood why the y/n jokes were pertinent. But at the same time, it felt like something had snagged in my mind - like a particularly annoying splinter.
The conversations I was having around this story - completely based on the content, concept, and my own instinct - was that this story contained specific references to one person. I thought that it did read like a love letter, and that most identifying features would have been taken out, but the essence remained. Which, once I thought about it, was something that H excelled at doing. Think about Sunflower Vol 6 and Adore You and Canyon Moon and even Watermelon Sugar and Golden. Ask yourself, What do I know about the person they are about? They have skin that browns, they have a secret, they have mesmerizing eyes, they’re willing to dance in the kitchen with him (to dancehall), they have a belly, they’ve been through hard times, they’re witty, they have an accent, and they have lips. I know - super specific right?
So the splinter grew into a thorn - what was I missing? And then - when I was looking for something completely different - I stumbled upon this old interview Harry did with Zach Sang and the Gang Show back in 2017. For context, he was being asked about Sweet Creature. As you can imagine, it’s hard for people to believe he wrote such a beautiful love song when he hadn’t ever really had a long term relationship (two hearts in one home?? Who did you move in with, you can imagine them asking. When did you have time?). So what did he have to say about this?
"In my opinion,” he explained, “I think most songs are written for one listener. Maybe there's one thing in there that only they'll notice about them.... It's so much easier to say something in a song than it is to say it to someone and I think it's really amazing to be able to communicate through that and be able to wrap up everything that you want to say in three and a half minutes and say it in a song."
- HS, May 3 2017
By this time, please believe that I was screeching. Seeing this felt like he put into words the exact feeling I had about “Dream With Me”. It felt like a nod to someone that I didn’t know, which made the story hard to listen to, tbh. Although, I will say that when I did finally listen to it, it knocked me out and gave me odd dreams so. Once was enough for me haha!
So my new operating theory is exactly what Advansun said: I think that H was the primary writer/the driving force behind the story. Because of the references I’m about to run through, because it feels like the way he tells stories, and because they admitted to him being more involved than they originally claimed. That’s going to be how I write the rest of the analysis - under the impression that H had a direct hand in the story that was being put forth. However, I think that the analysis itself would stand whether or not he wrote any of it. It would just be a more tenuous reflection of him than I believe it to be.
2.) How Do I Love Thee? In Two Ways.
Before I jump into the story, let’s talk a little about the poem that I want to compare it to: Two Loves, by Lord Alfred Douglas. Let’s be clear this is not at all a defense of who Bosie was - he was a terrible person, particularly in his later years, when he’d converted to Catholicism and turned his back on his younger self, and his partner, Oscar Wilde. He was violently anti-Semitic, and turned his back on his own community. I want to get this out of the way because I very much believe that we should examine artists for who they are. That is, after all, what I am trying to do here.
But his poem Two Loves has often been used - much to his disappointment, I’m sure - as an exploration of queer love in Victorian times. A line that I will be exploring more deeply in a second was in fact used against Oscar Wilde in his trail for indecency . He attempted - unsuccessfully - to explain it away, but it was too blatantly about their relationship for even the British Victorian society to ignore. I really, really recommend a read of this poem, because it is - despite it’s author - a good piece of work, which explores the themes of shame and love and longing between two men in that time.
I’m going to start with my own background, as someone who’s analyzed fandoms before. I first came across this poem in the Sherlock fandom, with this analysis by @the-7-percent-solution, when I was running in that fandom, and she explains the poem brilliantly in just a few lines. I’m going to take a little longer to run through it, but if you want a concise explanation and a brilliant meta, I encourage you to run to their blog and check it out. That fandom taught me most everything I know about catching symbols and recurring themes and “clueing for looks” and I love it desperately, still.
But we’re here to talk about this fandom, so on with the poem! Essentially, the poem outlines a dream the speaker had: In his dream, he’s standing in a field with flowers - beautiful ones of all kind - and he meets this young man with clear blue eyes and bright red lips and they kiss a bit and have a picnic, and it’s all lovely. If you think I’m kidding, I’m really not. Please, read it for yourself.
Anyways, after they did they did the whole picnic thing, the speaker and his date go on a walk in this field, where they come across two figures. The first is described as,
“...fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids And joyous love of comely girl and boy, His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy; And in his hand he held an ivory lute With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair, And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute, And round his neck three chains of roses were.”
- Two Loves, 1894
The speaker, however, was drawn to the second figure:
“He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight, And yet again unclenched, and his head Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death. A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold With the device of a great snake, whose breath Was fiery flame..”
- Two Loves, 1984
Of course, the speaker immediately asks the second man who he is. The second man says, “My name is Love”. The first man corrects him quickly:
“ He lieth, for his name is Shame, But I am Love, and I was wont to be Alone in this fair garden, till he came Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.”
-Two Loves, 1984
The second man sighs and acquiesces, “Have thy will. I am the love that dare not speak its name.”
It was, of course, this last line that really gave the meaning of the poem away. It was the line that was put to Oscar Wilde as proof of a romantic relationship, it was the line that went down in history as a way to refer to queer love, and it was the line that first stuck out to me when I was reading “Dream With Me”.
The reading here is clearly that “Love” is the love that is acceptable to society - easy, sweet, and cherished. “Shame” is the love that happens in secret - beautiful, alluring to the speaker, passionate, anxious ( as can be seen in the clenching and unclenching of his hands), and proud. He refuses to call himself as anything but what he is. The first man may call him Shame, but he refuses the name, and instead, offers a qualifier to his own descriptor. He is still love, he is just the love that can’t be spoken about.
3.) Walking in Golden Fields of Sunflowers
Now let’s talk about “Dream With Me”. I’m ignoring the first few stanzas (from the line “Have you ever wondered” to “What the two of us can find”.) because those are pretty standard introductory paragraphs to a guided meditation. So we start with the line “Let’s travel now to moonlit valleys...”.
I’m going to do the same thing I did with “Two Loves” first. I am going to describe literally, in general terms, what happens in the story. Warning, I change pronouns from “they” to “you” because the whole thing confuses me, but note that I’m always talking about the speaker and the listener:
So after doing the standard intro, the speaker and the listener take a walk through the woods enjoying nature, particularly the grass, the trees, and the blue sky above. You’re already clearly in love. Then you’re magically on a raft, with cherry blossoms all around you. If you want a good visual for that, here’s a site that has pictures from a boat rental in Tokyo where you can snuggle on a raft in the Chidorigafuchi moat. And then suddenly it starts raining, and they (you) watch the rain for a hot second, and then the scene magically shifts again, and you’re under a porch (although I guess it could be the boat rental’s porch. They do usually have covered areas).
Kind of furthering that theory, they then lounge by the shoreline, skipping stones and hanging out, looking at the snow capped mountains. In case you’re curious, because at this point I sure was, you can see mountains from certain areas in the city of Tokyo.
Anyways, then it’s snowing, and you’re magically in a cabin, just chilling by the fire, and you fall asleep again. You wake up somewhere else.
Where are you now? Well, you’re on a tropical island filled with palm trees. As an American, my mind immediately jumps to the Caribbean, but I suppose it could absolutely be in the Mediterranean as well. The island has white beaches, mangroves, a turquoise ocean, and a gorgeous, peaceful atmosphere.
If you’re curious as to what a mangrove looks like - and I certainly was - they are a group of trees and shrubs that live in the coastal intertidal zone and Jamaica is doing a massive restoration project involving primary school children to regrow this vital part of their ecosystem. More interestingly, there currently exist no mangrove forests in the Mediterranean, so my initial feeling that this scene would take place in the Caribbean was correct. On that note - again, because I was curious - Jamaica has gorgeous white sand beaches with turquoise oceans.
But I’ve gone off topic again! After you’re minds are “in tune” once more (trying to find a heartbeat, anyone?), you reappear in a meadow, with beautiful flowers of all kind, where you are now walking hand in hand through a field of sunflowers, which give the feeling a “warm and golden hue”. Then you come across a little farmhouse with daisies poking out (clearly I have no way of locating this anywhere in the world, but I assume that the UK has both sunflowers and daisies). It’s an empty house which was loved and left because of the passage of time, which inspires my favorite line in the poem: “ The thought of passing time inspires/A feeling that grows stronger”. It’s just...really sweet to me.
So, of course, they do what anyone would do when they come across an empty farmhouse, they go inside. And there, they begin to fall asleep, reflecting on all they have just seen, referencing other scenes of the poem: “ Moonlit valleys, Burdened forests, Gazing at the ocean. Summer meadows, Tranquil sunsets steeped in emotion”.
The next few stanzas are just going to be copy-pasted, and then I’ll go into them a bit, but this is the end of the poem, so they’re the final reflections;
“The tenderness we feel When we are close Two minds as one Surrounds us and connects us But we’ve only just begun.
For now we dream together Of all there is to follow. And know that sleep will keep us safe From now until tomorrow.
Maybe all the memories That we’ve gathered here tonight Are all dreams now remembered Or wishes in plain sight.
No matter what They’re with us now. For this night and forever. And every time we close our eyes They’re yours and mine to treasure.”
- HS, Dream With Me, via @carl-and-pearl
And that’s it! The literal story, in short, is that you started in a forest, then went to Tokyo (maybe) and then Jamaica (perhaps) and then back to a field of sunflowers and daisies in the UK (which is also a guess, it could be Italy or France or Idaho for all I know, but let’s call it an educated guess).
4.) My Dream Journal
So now that we know what happens in the story, how do we interpret this? Well, There are a few lines in the poem that I want to draw your attention to: the first takes place in the first part of this story, when you’re still in the forest. This is, I must say, the most direct reference to Two Loves in the whole poem/song/story. Both works are describing a walk in the woods with your loved one, and, in a fun reference in the middle of the story, Dream With Me says
The shimmering reflection Shows us smiling from above. But what we think But dare not speak is L-O-V-E love.
-Dream With Me, 2020
Remember that line I mentioned before? I am the love that dare not speak its name. Right, so that’s almost a direct quote. It also has a really fun nod to “I Would” (Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?/Well if it was me then I would), but I digress.
This first part of the narrative, I feel, really sets up what the rest of it will look and feel like, in the same way that “Golden” sets the tone for Fine Line. (You didn’t think I was going to make a post about Harry and NOT mention Golden, did you?? If you did, I’m disappointed!!). So let’s take a look at what’s happening, and the language he’s using to describe it.
One of the best things about this poem is how vivid it feels. Of course, I’m about to argue that it’s vivid because it was based in reality, but let’s talk about the sheer amount of detail he uses to describe the place he’s walking through. The valley (canyon lmao) is moonlit, the grass and the leaves make mosaics of green, you’re walking by the heather (the symbolism of heather is good luck, admiration, and protection), the sepia sunlight breaks through the trees.
You know what it kind of sounds like? Sweet Creature. You’re about to roll your eyes at me! I can feel it! But listen, okay?
“Sweet creature Running through the garden Oh, where nothing bothered us But we're still young I always think about you and how we don't speak enough”
Which, to be honest, sounds like what they’re doing. They’re walking through the garden in the sun, not daring to speak about the Love that he (they both) feel, and instead refering to it in veiled Victorian terms.
And then we head to Tokyo! I know that you’re about to ask me why I think it’s Tokyo versus...idk, anywhere else? Well, for one, he went to Tokyo (to let it go) publicly in 2019. He was there for a few months, and there are some great pictures of that time:

Look! Here he is with his club owner friend and his dog, and a fun red bandanna! But let’s be honest, the dog really steals the show here. But wait! there’s more! More dog content, too!

This was on Jan 31st, 2019, and he’s taking the dog for a walk! Very cute! If nothing else, he spent a lot of time with dogs in Tokyo! And the city fits the description of the story. So I feel rather comfortable with my interpretation that this first date is a memory of this trip - or another - to Tokyo.
So what did “you both”do in Tokyo? Well, chill on a raft while the cherry blossoms flutter around you, clearly. You also refocused your purpose. What did he do in Tokyo in 2019? Well, he took time to think about and write songs for the album he was about to go record. Kind of like refocusing on what’s next, right? And then, in the story when “you both” had time to think amongst the lake and the water and the rain and the moon, and you’d come to the conclusions you needed to, you left. What did he do when he did the things he needed to? Well, he left, too.
And where did he go? Well, in real life, I suppose he went to do his job. But, in the story, you’re meant to be falling deeper and deeper into sleep, so it’s sort of like traveling backwards, you see? Like counting down to one. So you end up on this island with turquoise ocean and mangrove forests. I’m calling this Jamaica. Why? Well, the description fits, for one, down to the four types of mangroves that exists within its ecosystem.
And - probably the biggest reason - I can place him there, too. Here’s him in 2017:

I added this picture because the water around him....looks rather turquoise, doesn’t it? Kind of like he’s enjoying his time on a tropical island by the beach?? Oh, and here’s another one!:

The red bandanna makes a comeback!
So what are you doing in Jamaica, according to the story? Well, you’re hanging out, basically. Enjoying the beach and each other, of course! What else? To be exact, “[Your] thoughts dovetail and unify/ In tune two minds together”. I’m so glad that you’re tuned like an old guitar now! Congrats! Really happy for you!
What was he doing in Jamaica three years ago? Why, he was recording his first album, or so the story goes. I’ll tell you something: finding press for that album was literally the most difficult part of this whole analysis. I got a fair bit of the tattoo roulette with Kendall Jenner, and some things about Carolina, but the interview with Zach Sang took me like an hour and a half to find again to link. The fact that a lot of it has been buried is...not great, for posterity purposes. He’s going to want that one day.
But I’ve gotten off track again! We gotta go back and finish our story, right? What happens now? Well, this does:
hahahaha okay, I’m really sorry, but I had to. I’m not, actually, making it up though! According to the story:
“ As minutes turn to hours We drift off somewhere new. And visualize a stairway To a door we now walk through”
- Dream With Me, 2020
So maybe Louis was just...demonstrating for you.
Anyways! Where do you walk out to? A golden field full of sunflowers. You walk for a minute, then come across an old house with daisies popping up out of the garden. And that’s where the story ends. I guess you’ve made that farmhouse feel like home.
Now to the little reflection he does on the outro. The lines I want to bring your attention are: “The tenderness we feel when we are close two minds as one surrounds us and connects us but we’ve only just begun” and “Maybe all the memories that we’ve gathered here tonight are all dreams now remembered or wishes in plain sight.”
Let’s talk about the first sentence first. In the context of finding a home that could be a shared home, and a future, this is very much an “end of the story, beginning of our lives” sort of thing. You’re back from all over, and it’s time to settle down, and see what’s next.
And now the second sentence. I think this is the one that really drives my point about this story being a collection of memories he has - that’s what he calls it. The story is “gathered memories” that might also be called “remembered dreams” (think of how people say of vacations, “oh it was a dream!”) or you might call it “wishes in plain sight”. This feels in line with the rest of the story. In this stanza, he’s sort of letting you in a bit. If I’ve read this right - and I really think that I have - he’s giving the larger context for the story. It’s a collection of memories he’s had with someone he loves.
5.) Cool! Can you prove it?
I mean, I’d argue that if you read this far, I have proved it, but let’s make some more links, shall we? This was called a “muscial epic” that was “driven by him”. I’d argue that if I know my Victorian literature (thank you, Sherlock!), then he definitely does. Then there’s the fact that he quoted it, so. That did happen. And he knows what it means. And even if he didn’t, there were two other people on the story. Someone was more than capable of catching that one, and the fact that they didn’t speaks to intent. They want you to think of that phrase when you read this poem. They want you to think of that walk in the woods while you’re going on this one.
And, as for my assumption that this is for and about one person, well. Think about it. He said that he writes his songs for a single listener. I’m not saying it’s the same listener each time, let’s get that right, but it is always just for one person. With that, and with the assumption that he’s been involved in the writing of this story, I’d say that the same rule applies. He went with someone to Japan and Jamaica (J^2 haha). And, if I had to guess, it was the same person.
Why, you ask? Well, for one, if that weren’t the case, then this poem would no longer be for one listener, it would be for multiple. And, for another, imagine how awkward it would be to listen to it with his current partner and have to explain “oh, yeah that was the super romantic vacation I took with someone else” . And, I suppose that because I think that attitude of “refocusing” and “dovetailing” and “tuning” and getting excited about imagining all of the tomorrows with your partner speaks to a long term relationship breathing easily, you know?
I’m also going to argue that describing the aura around the house as “golden” was intentional, especially when paired with the location - in the middle of a field of sunflowers. Those are both direct references to his songs. And those two songs are particularly linked by the number 28. The third song that features 28 is Fine Line the song, but that’s a different story. Anywho! “Golden”’s bridge just repeats the word ‘golden’ twenty eight times (if you go here , you can count the bridge) and “Sunflower Vol. 6″ ends the song with 28 “boops” (believe me, I wish I was making this up. I’m not.). So then, once again, you’ve linked a story to two already linked songs.
And, even if you don’t buy the intentional repetition, they’re linked another way, aren’t they? The color scheme and the sun symbol. Sunflowers were named because of their sun-like appearance. They turn to face it. They symbolize loyalty and adoration. And then, of course, the sun is - say it with me - golden. And it - like the person in golden - waits in the sky, beautiful and dangerous and constant. And here that symbol is, in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. At home.
This whole story feels like you’re taking the time to find that heartbeat that you think you might have lost, and sort of coming back to a space where you understand that this is what you want, now and forever. It feels like finding a home that could be yours forever, and it feels like walking through some of the moments that remind him of that.
It really is rather lovely, if you think about it, especially since he has a tendency to attribute “home” to people rather than place, in his songs. So it’s like. Going all around the world and always being at home.
#harry styles#calm#dream with me#two loves#honestly man#im happy for you#but ewww#be less sappy please#i mean#SOME OF US DONT HAVE THAT YET HAROLD#hahahaha i think im funny#long post ts#idk how else to tag this but im really proud of it#okay now i'll do the penguin song#promise hahaha
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So how’s Trials of Osiris now?
I’ve been wanting to do a follow up to on my essay “Trials of Osiris has been corrupting Guardians with Darkness“, and I figured no better time than when Bungie made a lot of changes to Trials gameplay.
No leak info or spoilers beyond week 1 of s15, this season’s Trials weapon is available in game from turning in last seasons bounty. I’ll cite like (this) the name of the lore, it can all be found on ishtar-collective since I’m having issues with links.
to recap: before Stasis and before Savathun!Osiris, Trials was a corrupting influence related to the Darkness, affecting both Ghost and Guardian, and driving them try to perma-kill each other.
What I find fun about this storyline, is that it has shifted from being about creepy unknowable Darkness into a story about the clash between Guardian’s use of darkness powers vs faith in the Light, that’s clearly meant to continue the themes from Seasons of the Drifter and Opulence. Bungie isn’t going to put this plotline ingame, so IMO it’s fine all the lore implications are obscure.
thesis: in universe characters directly list the obvious parallels for Shayura “"You're no better than the Dredgen ," he says ... "…or Malphur ."” (SW, Shayura's Wrath) but also Shayura is set up as a foil to Aunor Mahal.
Since Season of the Chosen where the Trials Armor lore detailed Shayura’s descent into some degree of madness from 3 points of view; the lore has mentioned that while Savathun!Osiris is interested by guardians being corrupted by Darkness they aren’t the cause of it, and didn’t know of it till Saint-14 brought it up (In Memoriam Shell) (IH, Igneous Hammer).
Basically Shayura’s belief that the Traveler wants her to do this, and her willingness to kill Guardian is her own (PAB, Pyrrhic Ascent Bond) (Shayura's Wrath). Although there is confirmed final death for a Hunter in Shayura’s Wrath lore, it is implied that she has killed an unknown amount of Stasis users “Fragments of Ghost shells are scattered atop the console” (PAB)
There is an additional trophy “the Human skull sitting in the middle of her command console. Its hollow eye sockets stare back at her” (SW) following Shayura’s attempted murder patterns, I’m guessing that skull was her fireteam member Aisha who is one of the few humans mentioned in the context of Shayura’s breakdown, and who “betrayed” her by using stasis. Further evidence would be that Shayura’s story was told from the 3 points of view of her fireteam: the only point of view since the Shayura Wrath lore has been from that of Reed-7(Reeds Regret).
side note: it doesn’t seem like Shayura is treating her Ghost well either. “A Ghost reduced to little more than a bare sphere of metal, deprived of a shell” (SW)
Dredgen Yor:
It’s hard to make direct comparisons with Dredgen Yor, most of his lore is from D1, and contradicts in points where it seems like it was handled by different writers. The other point of similarity besides being infamous and reviled for murder of other Guardians is the lore being clear that they suffer from the emotional toll of endless war.
Shayura:
"Can Guardians be unfit for duty?" Shayura wonders aloud, her voice muffled by the tabletop.
"I mean…" Aisha replies. Her hesitation has a palpable sting. (PAG, Pyrric Ascent Gloves)
Yor:
To Rezyl, the Captain was already an afterthought. ... Rezyl’s attention had shifted to the unknown, but inevitable, battles to follow.... Rezyl was growing tired of small wins, however meaningful. (Rezyl Azzir - War Without End)
It’s not the same emotion, but it’s not often Guardians doubts in their role in such a way. You could say Shayura is the Light version of what Dredgen Yor was, but while the Darkness encouraged Yor (Ghost Fragment: Darkness 4), I HIGHLY doubt the traveler is encouraging Shayura the way she thinks it is. (Pyrrhic Ascent Boots)
Taking the the ending words of "I killed an agent of the Darkness," Shayura says, ... .Bile rises in the back of Shayura's throat."They come in many forms." (SR). I don’t think its much of a stretch to think the lines refer to her as an agent of darkness as well.
Shin Malphur:
Shin Malphur and Dredgen Yor, have a fair amount of parallels, especially considering Shin Malphur = Dredgen Vale twist, but it’s unclear how widely known that twist is in universe and if that is what the dead hunter was referring to.
Shayura’s Wrath item text “"But here you are. This is truly a beginning…" —Shin Malphur” (SW) parallels Dredgen Yor’s last words “But here you are. This is truly an end” (Ghost Fragment: The Last Word 4)
it’s heavily implied Shin is speaking to Shayura, but do I think Shin Malphur would be helping Shayura? Not unless Bungie is planning on changing his characterization yet again. There are obvious surface parallels: two solar wielding vigilantes who hunt Guardians who wield Darkness and love extra-judicial murder (Source: too many pages to count where Shin talks about culling those who have gone too far into the darkness). But Shayura’s zealot belief in the Traveler and her crusade against darkness wielders are the opposite of Shin’s beliefs of using both Light and Dark:
“the building of a new world, one where absolutes cower to the might of compromise, where Light tempers dark and the dark opens new insight into the Light's many undiscovered gifts.” (Nothing Ends: The Long Goodbye)
“the shadows of dark power that tempt us are not inherently evil. In fact, they are simply another tool to be used if we hope to bend the unknown to our will, an impossible feat we must learn to master if we wish to push back the ever-aggressive tide of extinction.“ (Nothing Ends: The Liar's Trap)
I think in the end Shin Malphur is more of a contrast than a comparison to Shayura, I’d also be suprised if Bungie brings him back as they’ve had him give his retirement twice now (Letters from a Renegade, Nothing Ends)
Aunor Mahal:
both are/were members of the Praxic Order, both strongly oppose Guardians using power of darkess.
A key difference is Aunor still has faith in the Vanguard while Shayura does not (Pyrrhic Ascent Hood). Shayura is what the fandom who only listened to Drifter’s side of the story thought Aunor was, someone more than ready to kill Guardians and Ghosts.
While Shayura only consideres execution, Aunor has faith in rehabilitation
“You're costing us Ghosts—means to fight enemies of humanity. These Guardians represent more than potential Dredgens” (The Warlock Aunor: The Salt Mines).
Following the Trend of other corrupted Guardians like Sola or Trestin, whom Aunor confrots; I’m expecting to see Aunor eventually confront Shayura, it seemed implied in the Igneous Hammer lore.
Side note:
Even before Guardians used stasis, its clear there was a ramp up from when Gambit appeared with Guardian’s going too far with the darkeness to the Guardian and ghost corruption seen in Trials
“will face Praxic justice. Perhaps exile. We haven't had to lock anyone up in decade“(Message from Aunor VIII)
to
"It's affecting Ghosts now too. We should bring them back to the City. This makes five." (Temptation's Hook). “ You think she'll be lucky number… how many are we up to now? At this point, the only chance I'm giving them is the chance to kill me first” (The Messenger)
Shayura mentions she was locked up and escaped (SW), and it’s clear that the Praxic Order is stretched thin
“Aunor scowled. She was perhaps the most diligent of the Hidden ...Each time they met, she seemed a little gaunter than before. A little testier" (IH)
Aunor’s morals and loyalty to the Vanguard are some of her defininging characteristics and I don’t see that changing. But if this storyline continues in Witch Queen then I see things hitting a breaking point.
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,,,,okay i know i just said i wasn’t going to talk about the deh movie but actually yeah imma talk about it for just a sec bc y’all actually make me legitimately distressed sajkfndsmjkgds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ_A0H1otc i dont have the braincells to do a shot by shot analysis right now but here’s what we’re lookin at
under a readmore because ghhhhhhh
firstly, let me lead with this: yes, from what we know, there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie.
the worst, in my humble opinion, being the bts treatment of the (very few) actors of color, and the lack altogether of any production team members of color. that’s something that should be acknowledged, talked about, and fucking dug into especially at the current fucking period of time we’re living in. it’s unsurprising, but disgusting nonetheless, and it set this movie up for failure from the very beginning. i’m a white person so by no means so i feel inclined or like i have any authority in saying what one should feel wrt all of that, however i will say if there’s to be a boycott in not watching this movie, that should 100% be the reason why. it’s fully poc’s choice whether or not to forgive the production team or give this movie a chance for the irredeemable shit it did in regards to handling the movie’s production. the movie imo definitely doesn’t deserve their forgiveness, but again, that is not for me to say.
there’s some little things too that i can’t fully think of off the top of my head - like, the whole making larry connor’s stepdad thing fucking irks me, for example, but, like...... listen.
if you know me like at all, you know my favorite word is nuance.
so, i’m going to say it outright: the way you people are approaching this three minute trailer shows literally.... none?? no nuance ??? is it no-nuance november over here or ???? like i’m begging you i’m BEGGING YOU to put aside your pre-determined prejudices against this movie and like stop pretending to be a renowned film critic for ten seconds because it’s really not as outright fucking abysmal as you are saying!! and also it’s possible to have opinions that aren’t completely fucking polarized to one side because guess what, the deh movie? a piece of media! what is the shit y’all are constantly preaching about having the ability to consume media critically ? because you’re trying to cancel a fucking trailer based on the contents of the trailer alone !!!!! hello !!!!!!!!
media is bound to be problematic. if y’all were as quick to judge any movie as you did this one, guess what you wouldn’t be watching any movies like ever <3
anyway lets get into the parts that are probably going to get me cancelled lmao
ben platt - listen. LISTEN. listen i know he’s too old to be reprising evan we ALL know he’s too old to be reprising evan i’ve heard this same argument since the announcement was made we get it we all know. haha he’s a grandpa yes bestie ur so right ur so funny wow. i do agree that we should’ve maybe had a not-ben-platt evan moment but here’s some things to keep in mind: the arguments of “oooh ABF is right there !!!!!!” 1. who’s to say he was available? 2. the environment of a movie is so, SO much different than that of a musical -- as much as you wanna pretend you know everything from just a trailer, there’s no way of knowing what scenes were added that might’ve made the movie like.. idk possibly more intense story-wise not even COUNTING the fact that just inherently a movie set is different than a musical one? like yes ben platt might be just being used as a device but that’s probably not the sole and only reason. Also, if i see One (1) more comment about his FUCKING HAIR 😃 first of all it’s not that deep like... if you’re so distracted by an actor having their hair different that’s on you, but going as far as to call it bad or distracting or being like Vehemently a way about it? y’all i know it’s most likely not your intention but that is literally just ben platt’s natural fuckin ETHNICALLY JEWISH hair sajknfgkjds!!!! i’m not the first to make this point, but like dsjnfkjdsg!??! y’all are being so mean about it and for WHAT? again, maybe not intentional, but it reads as like high key Very antisemetic and you should.... maybe not 😳 be that way
connor. the thing about a trailer is that they don’t show you all the scenes because they want you to come see the movie. right? can we agree on that? all the connor scenes in the trailer had SEVERAL hard cuts, omitting a lot of the scene -- like the computer lab scene! we see the beginning of it, there’s a VERY obvious hard cut, and then he’s running out! in my opinion my first watch through of this trailer i had a very like “:// hmm all these actors feel a lil like dry”, but man oh man the comments ive seen about connor. holy shit guys. this boy gets 7 minutes of stage time in the actual musical, and the whole thing is we DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM. not to burst your bubble, and i by no means hate connor, i love me some good connor lives fics and stuff, but everything we write with connor being alive? that is !! speculation on our part !!!! those are headcanons and us using the little context we have!! connor doesn’t have any significant development IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL that is being adapted into a movie !!! you 1. can’t fully judge a character with already limited screentime in a 3 minute trailer, 2. can’t really call what connor has canonically in the musical as in depth character development !! what is his arc then !!!! he pushes evan, goes to the computer lab, has an outcast loner kid moment, gets upset, takes the letter, DIES. sorry stans, that’s just how it is !! and, AND, everything in between, all the idiosyncracies, that depends on the actor playing connor! speaking of, you know who the actor is playing connor in the movie? that’s right, colton ryan! so, i don’t know, maybe... have some trust in the process, in an actor who ALREADY has played connor on broadway???? and also trust that you will get more connor content then u are seeing from a 3 minute trailer!! dhgnijsdg and some of the comments on like his appearance specifically? like are you really made that he doesn’t have long hair?? they kept his nails and his rings but nahhh the hair was apparently a MUST HAVE (even though like.. not all connor actors on broadway always had/have long hair but w/e).. REGARDLESS. tldr on THAT , the movie would have to do a pretty shitty job if they want to take something from someone who doesn’t have much to begin with and i think y’all are being extremely harsh on this point
jared. honestly i’m a bit worried too about the like... name change, because it does have the potential to be taking out some representation, but... they did change the name to fit the actor’s ethnicity? it’s a really [hmm] topic because, again, from a trailer and from what we have been told we don’t KNOW a lot of the context, but i think it’s important to remember that uh.. jewish people aren’t just? always white ?? there’s a possibility they changed the last name to fit with the [ethnicity] while keeping him jewish?? ofc there’s the possibility that they Didn’t and ... again hm that’s its own thing altogether but just reiterates the point that you can’t knock a whole movie just based on the trailer. you can’t talk about things you know nothing about.
alana. same thing as before, you can’t.... completely bash a character based on a 3 minute trailer. there was discussion about how she seemed ‘shy’ when talking to evan, which like.. maybe she is but also that scene was them talking in a library like if u actually take notice of what’s happening in the scene jdskngsd though i do share the general consensus with many others that she won’t get a lot of screen-time but that’s neither here nor there 😔 moving on
scenes and the setting. one of the things i was most like.. tentative about in regards to a switch from a musical to a movie was how they were like... going to do certain scenes? naturally, a lot has to be different when we’re going from a minimal stage set to an entire movie with like.. settings. there are going to be new scenes because a movie lends to have like, physical places that aren’t just [evan’s bedroom] and [murphy kitchen] and [implied school]. so new scenes, new conversations, slightly different pacing.. this is all to be expected right like are y’all geneuinely surprised here or ........
there’s a lot we aren’t seeing yet because this is a TRAILER. again i already mentioned this re: connor but like... again, y’all are making some Claims that just... fucking outlandish. there are so many moments in the trailer that are very obvious Hard Cuts. you don’t have all the information yet. you are angry at a tiny fragment of something that is confusing you because you don’t have all the context. is there a chance that some of this shit is just genuinely Bad? yeah but you really cannot 100000% say it with your chest and gauge it without seeing the movie and understanding what that scene is in context. lowkey uhhh saw some jokes about the zoe scene in the car and :’))) ? jesus? christ????
concluding thoughts because my brain hurts but like. you don’t have to like the movie. you don’t have to WATCH the movie. like all media if you choose to consume the movie you should do so with some CRITICAL THOUGHT. but, just like the novel (and i do not want to have any discussions about that i don’t care if you think it’s good Or bad that’s not what this is about) you guys are going in this WANTING to believe it’s bad and completely polarizing your thoughts on what this is going to be. yeah, maybe there shouldn’t be a movie. i genuinely think we could’ve gone without. but it’s just a piece of media, it’s not a progression like all your (musical is good, novel is bad, MOVIE IS WORSE OH NO) posts are suggesting. they are all just. different pieces of media stemming from a source. at the end of the day it’s just a fucking movie. if you already hate it so much, guess what? you don’t have to watch it! you don’t have to put so much needless fucking hate into a 3 MINUTE TRAILER. you can stop being performative and dissing it for its poor treatment of POC while then going on to make fun of ben platt’s hair and just targeting a different group like! please !!!
i’m not trying to be a fuckin’ advocate for this movie because there’s so much opportunity for it to suck, i do Not have high hopes for it, and i’m not even really sure i want to watch it (i bought the novel when it came out and have yet to read it, and i’m sure the movie will like.. elicit very similar vibes from me lsdngjkdsg like im just not uhhh feeling it) but y’know what? watching the trailer did not bring forth the fucking onslaught of hatred in me that apparently has fuckin posessed all of y’all and like djnsgjksdg plagued my dashboard for this whole evening. don’t come into my inbox trying to like.. argue with me about this (preemptively im turning off anon because i like i Can’t lmao) this is just like... a rant i needed to get out of me real quick.
SO. tldr for now: have critical thought about shit you consume, there’s no ethical consumption under [the film industry], you can’t judge a movie entirely on its trailer, and y’all need to calm the fuck down
#garbage.txt#deh movie#ask to tag#irrelevant#bc this is lowkey a vent bc jfc#this isn't @ anyone btw this is just [in general mostly just from my dash] bc.. sighs#anyway im gonna refrain from making any more comment on this its just. frustrating.#edit: ok to rb
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(How I Learned) How To Read Irken: A Guide
(Pictured: Us....) (From @zimgay ‘s lovely animatic!)
Okay, I’m finally making this post.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you might have caught on that I can read Irken. When I started, I was completely confused over wether or not I was teaching myself correctly, how long it’d take, et cetera. But I’ve finally hashed it out for myself, and I thought:
Why not make a guide for anyone else who wants to learn but has no idea where to start?
So that’s what I’m doing. Some disclaimers, though:
- This is what worked for me. It may or may not work for you, I’m not sure. I think it’s a pretty good method, though.
- Reading Irken and Writing Irken are two different skillsets. I’m gonna show you how to do both, but don’t worry if you’re better at one than the other.
- This will probably take a while of daily (or near-daily) practice to learn. It’s not impossible, it’s not super challenging, but it’s not super easy, especially if you have memory problems like I do. (For context: I started in September. But I also have a really shitty memory so, like. It might take less time for you.)
Okay! Let’s do this!
First off, you’d probably do well downloading the Irken font for practice purposes. Messing around with it and typing in it is fun, and can help!
You’ll also need a notebook. It’s not required, but having it all in one place is super convenient. (And, if it’s tiny enough, you can carry it around whenever, and also have it on hand to whip out at cons.)
The first thing I did was write each individual letter over and over and over again. This is what’s at the start of my notebook, and writing the letters over and over helped me remember which were which. I also had to focus pretty hard on what letter this actually was, this is tedious as hell but it’s not something you can do mindlessly.

(Pictured: Normal levels of interest in a show.)
This is what my notebook looks like. Don’t worry about those simplified versions of the letters yet, but you’re gonna wanna leave room for them. Don’t worry about learning simplified/handwritten until later, it helps recognition if you really have to focus on actually drawing the letters, at first.
(And yes, I know my pen is really smudgy. And that my H’s suck.)
After this, three letter words are your friend. Pick just, common three letter words you know, and write them down a lot. I have just, the Irken for “THE” written in the margins of my class notebooks a TON. Once you feel like you can remember that word well, go onto another 3 letter word with a different set of letters. Recognition = good, so pick something you like, use all the time.
While I was doing this, I tried to string together Irken letters I knew into like, coherent phrases. I was very bad at this at first. Acronyms are your friend here, lmao. (I don’t think I can count the number of times I’ve written ‘u r a qt pie’ in my notebooks.) It doesn’t matter what you write, just that it makes coherent sense.
There are gonna be some uncommon letters that are gonna be hard to practice, like W and Z, off the top of my head. For Z, that was easy. I just wrote ZIM over and over and over. For W... I used UWU. You laugh now, but the absurdity of it cements that I will always recognize those two letters.
Four letter words are also good. (Please, absolutely write “FUCK” over and over in order to remember letters. I encourage it.)
There is also the absolute cuntwaffles. Y’know how in English, b, p, d, g, all look kinda the same? Yeah, Irken has that too.
(Pictured: Head hurting juice.)
The I and Z don’t look that similar now, but good luck without a translation guide. By this point, you should have memorized a good chunk of the Irken alphabet, and be able to recognize some others when you see them. If you’ve been writing common three- or four-letter words, it’s likely you’ve been using letters very common in the English language. Which brings us to our next stage, and the actual fun part:
READING!
You’re gonna want a translation guide on hand in these early stages, you will need it. The main goal of this stage is to read anything in Irken you can get your hands on- but start small! Fanart with Irken in it was a godsend to me. It’s not that long, so it’s not overwhelming. I did need to look up some letters at the beginning, and I read really slowly, but that’ll change quickly if you keep up with it! The specific fanarts I used are:
@inimoose ‘s The Last Irken comic, specifically chapter one: part one, and chapter two: part two have a lot of Irken. But I’d recommend reading the whole comic; it’s good!
@paketdimensioncomic ‘s page of lore for their comic! Spoilers, though. Again, I’d recommend reading through the whole comic, because it’s just that good.
@xryn-art ‘s Linguistic Au’s first comic has a good chunk of Irken! The other comics do have some, but it’s all translated. Still good practice, though, if you wanna... read them......... ;) ;) ;)
Yes, this segment was partially a way for me to plug my favorite fan-artists, (or at least the ones that use Irken,) sue me. It’s my guide and I make the rules here.
(I am very sorry if I bothered any of you by @’ing you.)
But just some sources isn’t enough, so I introduce you to browser fonts. And changing yours to Irken.
It will not effect everything in your browser, and it can be toggled on and off, so don’t worry. If you really want, you can download a separate browser to change the font of, and leave your normal one be. It’d be convenient if you could, since having your browser font be Irken is inconvenient if you need to use Wikipedia, like, ever.
Here’s a guide for that, for Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and Internet Explorer for some reason. You’ll see four options to change, I just changed all of them. Not every page is going to have Irken on it, though. For me, Wikipedia is all in Irken, and so is TV Tropes. And some Tumblr blogs (PAKet Dimension’s is one, just in case you need a reason to go back there ;)) But it might be different for you.
Whatever it is, now you have a nice way to practice. I read Wikipedia articles on stuff I already knew about (so I wasn’t completely lost and could figure out what letters I didn’t know were from context clues,) but not a page I’ve read before in recent memory- you might just be recalling what the page said, instead of actually reading it.
And about the absolute cuntwaffle letters: yes, this will help you in recognizing which are which. Seeing the letters in context is always going to be much more helpful than just, a bunch of meaningless squiggles floating in the void.
At this point, I personally am much better at reading than writing Irken. It’s one thing to know a letter when you see it, and another to recall it and write it down from memory. Right now, I’m trying to write song lyrics and dumb little phrases in Irken, to improve my writing skills. Again, nothing too long, don’t overwhelm yourself. This sounds stupid, but Vines are good. When I don’t remember a letter, I just leave it blank and look it up after I’m done.
Another thing that helps is having a friend to practice with, or someone to just give you Irken phrases for you to translate.
Once you’re around this stage, you can try to learn simplified/handwritten Irken. You can also try to learn it before this, I started it around when I started reading fanart for practice, it’s up to you. This guide is a good starting point, but you don’t have to follow it exactly. This is your handwriting, do what feels natural for you!
(Also, don’t even worry about speedwrite Irken. That has no place in this holy land and frankly I am scared of it.)
And that’s... pretty much it! Most of the process is just... practicing a lot.
If this post does well, I might make a server for people who wanna learn Irken to practice together and stuff. It all depends if anyone even wants to learn Irken.
EDIT: Well, guess what I ended up making just the next day. Here’s the post for the server, and please read the joining rules.
Also, if you wanna learn Irken numbers, here you go. But start with letters first, worry about numbers later. These are never used, aren’t even in the Irken font, and three of them look a lot like those cuntwaffle Irken letters.
Anyway I just really hope this guide helps someone out. If you do use it, tell me! And have fun learning Irken!! It really is just, a blast to do honestly.
#invader zim#invader zim irken#zadr#(for the animatic and one of the comics)#HHHHHUUUUUU IM NERVOUS TO POST THIS#ok. ok ok ok ok ok here goes. h.#live from conventia#if this is a godsend for even one (1) guy with a hyperfixation then i have done my job well
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tv rewatch: gg edition s2e1
LOL the recap of the last season is so DRAMATIC
i like how they start with nate making out in a car and all you see is blonde hair so you’re supposed to be like, is it serena??? no just an adult who should know better.
and now she’s betty’s mom on riverdale because ofc she is.
i don’t know of any reading where the author isn’t immediately talking to the people who came to hear them read. the bookstore sets you up with a table at the back of the room with a pile of your books and a pen because authors need MONEY.
“i told him it was good as your story in the new yorker” you mean his diary entry?
penn bulked up a bit in season 2 tho.
i get that they’re trying to show jenny is interning in a hostile work environment but if her superior is just talking about how everyone needs to do twice as much and jenny is already done, she wouldn’t deride her for already being done, she just would be dismissive and give her more work to do.
dan, you can start a story without a date being the title.
“blair will never forgive you for you did to her” it turns out that blair, in fact, forgives a lot of shit that chuck does to her. #truelove
lmao like they really would take the jitney. blair waldorf would not do buses.
“the only thing lamer than dating dan humphrey, is mourning dan humphrey.” lol blair.
i didn’t realize that robots got jealous, did they update your software while i was away? now, that line would be some terrible dialogue about patriarchy with a wooden delivery.
“well, if you call a different girl every night dating.” yes, jenny, that is literally what dating is.
ok i’ve studied with some harsh writers in the past but if dan is genuinely having writer’s block then his mentor would do something to help, like if he isn’t the type to actually talk about what it is that’s blocking dan then a free writing exercise or a prompt, a book recommendation.
honestly, nate’s makeouts/sex scenes with mrs. robinson 2.0 do not look hot.
“how well do you know blair waldorf is kinda boring for those of us who actually know blair waldorf.” “not to mention, transparent.” drag him.
chair angst! “see you at school” sounds better than nate’s “good catching up.”
i remember when i watched in real time when blair took the pin back i was like YAAASSSSSSSSSSSS oh teenage zal, you didn’t know then that chair would become one of your notps. lol.
“i don’t even like james!” “thank you i was waiting for that.” lol serena is nicer than me, i remember when initiumseries didn’t like a dude and she finally said it and i was like so are you done now? like are you done?
“besides, it’s tourist season in the city, easy pickings.” wow chuck are you ever not predatory?
you know, it’s interesting, rewatching gg and blair and chuck because in season 1, we see how chuck falls for blair, we see him view her in a way nate didn’t, we see him jealous, we see him enamored but really, post limo save for texting each other when she was at nate’s fitting and that one soft moment on her birthday, we don’t really see how blair views chuck because she’s so caught up with trying to work things out with nate. i mean, yeah, shippers are going to say she didn’t want to admit that chuck means anything to her, she felt guilty for sleeping with him so she threw herself into being with nate, but because chuck is blackmailing her and she’s stressed out the entire time by the time we get to the finale when they’re kissing on the dance floor and even now, it’s like hmm, i think i needed to see a bit more of what blair misses with chuck when she isn’t with chuck in season 1. we needed a little more of those texting moments where she’s happy and giddy while with chuck or a bit more of what happens in season 2 where she’s fantasizing about him and then stops herself. i just bring this up because when she’s talking about how she didn’t want chuck to know how badly he hurt her and stuff i’m like i get it, i’ll go with it but i think there needed to be more.
but dan’s writer block is stupid. just ... write something ELSE. at least TRY.
“I know that face, that face is not your friend!” lol eric.
nate is just so ... basic. lmao.
the hamptons is the richest they ever look actually.
“thanks for giving me another chance.” “thanks for being worthy of it.” what has jenny done to be worthy of it tho?
“trying to ruin my marriage?” you’re a grown ass woman.
cece just looks like she’s hitting on dan, it’s uncomfortable
i’m your biggest fan i’ll follow you until you looooooooooooooove me.
that kiss also isn’t as hot as it’s supposed to be, i guess because it’s supposed to look hot since it’s performative.
i actually liked serena’s dress. or well, i think it’s OK.
so finally rewatching the derena scene where dan sees the serenate kiss has me like, is dan an ass because he’d been two-timing girls throughout the summer? yes. is he wrong for being frustrated that serena is kissing nate to make someone jealous and she can’t tell him who or why? no, not when he says that it’s the same drama different city because this is exactly what broke them up in the first place, she can’t be honest with him about things that are happening even though those things find a way of getting involved in his life somehow. but this is the point of derena and the two people from different worlds context but instead of it being a class difference it’s mostly that serena always finds herself in some kind of drama involving the same people and dan will never understand why the drama has to exist at all but they love each other anyway, so it’s basically this
which is also supposed to be chair in a different way.
what’s funny though is that those girls are mad that dan was making out with one of them when he was supposed to be meeting someone else but the girl he was making out with brought a date without telling dan so, i mean. all they had to do was change ‘date’ to ‘friend’ to make him appear more of a sleaze.
blair’s face when marcus speaks in his english accent is HILARIOUS.
lmao why would nate and betty’s mom leave TOGETHER?
aww three words, eight letters... the way blair leans forward and holds her breath just trying to urge the words out, if there’s anything i can say about chair it’s their chemistry.
i feel like it’s unrealistic to think that dan knows how to build a fire.
also sex on the beach is like ... sand, man, sand EVERYWHERE.
xoxo zalrb
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Letters (part 2)
As Obi-Wan and Satine continue their written correspondence in the back half of their Hogwarts career, their bond strengthens to the point where it might not strictly be platonic.
ao3 link
Fifth Year Summer
Dear Ben,
I GOT MY MENTORSHIP REQUEST APPROVED! I’m going to be a peer mentor this upcoming year! Oh, I know this is going to be another responsibility when we’re already saddling quite a bit with OWLS and our duties as prefects. While it was your initial idea to join, I have no regrets. If I’m to influence the minds of thousands from the Ministry, it will do me good to have practice on a smaller and more impressionable scale. Besides, far too many first years are led astray in my opinion. Having firm and caring guidance will be most beneficial.
I hope you can write to me with the same news, even if I still believe you are pushing yourself far too hard. Just please consider your own mental health for this upcoming term. You’re already wound tighter than anyone I know. I would truly not like to partake in the bets that Fives and Echo make behind your back about when your head will explode. I believe either myself or Cody would win. We know you best.
Speaking of being wound tight, I have been dedicating my summer to the practice of enchanting muggle objects as per our homework assignments. Turns out, it truly is not that difficult. I’ve been careful not to alter anything that would come into contact with other muggles, but I look forward to showing you the results of some of my recreations. Between you and me, I’ve been constructing some that were not on the instructed list.
You’re not technically a prefect yet, Obi-Wan Kenobi, so don’t even think about making a wise remark about how you could see me in trouble.
Yours Truly,
Satine
Dear Satine,
I, too, just received confirmation that I’m to mentor a first year this upcoming school year! Regardless of your speculation and wariness, I stand by my decision. We will be kept busy, but idle minds mean time wasted. If you hadn’t agreed on principle, I don’t believe you would have signed up right behind me. As for my extracurricular activities, pretending as though I am not stressed in the slightest about the prospect of the coming year is futile, but I hope to work through it and to become a better student as a result of it. My father has relented on training by Quidditch form. There are bigger things to worry about such as OWLS, which is why I’m to be locked in all summer. No complaints there- I’d much rather read.
Speaking of reading, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the books you snuck into my trunk. Yes, I found them and they were quite a welcome surprise. A bit of relaxing education is just what the doctor ordered. Not literally, because I loathe visiting my family’s practitioner. He takes the term “witch doctor” to new levels and I will leave it at that.
You’ve always been far better at charming objects than I ever have. To be fair, I still don’t have a full understanding of what certain muggle objects actually do, but I’ve got most of the list marked off by this point. While I promise not to report you for deliberate rule breaking, I do admire your gumption. I hope you’ll one day let me see what you’ve crafted. You know I adore learning the novelties of the muggle world. I believe last we spoke, you were telling me about ‘computers’.
As always, I’d love to know more. You have a manner of speaking that simply can’t go unnoticed, at least not to me.
Best,
Obi-Wan
Fifth Year- Winter
Dear Satine,
I apologize if this owl reaches you at an indecent hour. I know how you are about your beauty sleep. It’s been strange being back home, even if for a couple of weeks. It’s only made me realize just how unreal this year has been in terms of excitement and mystery. Though I do not blame the boy for any of it, I won’t lie that it was a much quieter school without Anakin Skywalker present. I wouldn’t change any of it, of course. I believe I am making a difference in working with him. He has a bright mind, if he chooses to use it.
I still can’t get the vision of him foaming at the mouth on the floor out of my head. There’s no doubt that someone has it in for him. I can only imagine who. While eccentric, Anakin is still just a child. He’s harmless.
At risk of drastically changing the subject- my true reason for writing was to thank you again for the watch. My parents have ingrained in me the importance of writing thank you notes regardless of the nature of the gift. However, this might be the first time the sentiment has felt important in action. It may sound ungrateful, but a boy can only receive so many tie clips before he starts to sound a bit robotic in his delivery.
However, please note that every word I say, I mean through my very bones. I hope you didn’t take my silence at receiving it to be anything less than breathlessness. You always keep me guessing, Satine Kryze, and I would have you no different. I am still in awe every time I catch a gander at my wrist.
You did a marvelous job in transfixing and refurbishing it. Seriously, it is of no wonder that Charms comes easier to you than it does to me. Had I not known otherwise; I would have assumed this watch was always crafted with the intention of being magical. Even if it were just a standard watch, it would still have meant more to me than anything I’ve received simply because it came from you. My friend. I’m not sure I deserve it.
I suppose I’ve no excuse for fear of being late any longer, now do I?
It’s never coming off!
Obi-Wan
Dear Ben,
I’m no longer, by any means, insinuating that the boy is trouble. Or more accurately, I don’t believe he’s cognizant of these omens. What concerns me, is Qui-Gon seems to believe that a dark time is upon us. He won’t share his suspicions outright, but I can tell just by how he talks to Anakin with a certain level of wonder and curiosity. Surely, you see it too.
Even still, I say, when school starts up, we try and start our own investigation- off the books and away from Anakin, of course. We needn’t worry him more than he already is. Perhaps while Gryffindor has the field for Quidditch practice we can better research. There’s been too many strange occurrences this year for it to all be coincidental. I’d argue this is the tipping point.
We can further discuss a game plan back at school, but at risk of hurting feelings and potentially endangering lives, we should keep this between us.
I am, however, glad to hear you enjoyed the watch ♥
Yours,
Satine
Sixth Year- Summer
Dear Satine,
I received my OWLS results today as I’m sure you did the same. I wanted you to hear from me, personally, that I am, in fact, alive and well despite what I received as scores. I’m surprised at how alive and how well, quite actually.
For some context- I received all O’s in everything… With the exception of Arithmancy- of which I got an E. I’m not positive where exactly I went wrong in studying for it. I don’t recall the exam being particularly difficult. It’s never been a prized subject of mine as you well know, but I’ve always delivered nothing less than near-perfect marks.
My parents took the news surprisingly well. As opposed to blaming me for slacking off or being distracted by frivolous things such as friends… They were in support of me. In fact, they’re positive that the school is deliberately discriminating against me. I think it might have to do with the recent revelation regarding Anakin being the chosen one. They’ve been much kinder to me and the choices I’ve made as a result of my association with him. Where they believed I was wasting my time, I apparently “saw” what they couldn’t- even if my decision to mentor Anakin had absolutely nothing to do with the matter.
I still have not yet mentioned my pursuit of becoming an Auror. You have to space this kind of news out when you can. They’ve supported me on this, but I’m not sure they’d take that in stride. My parents have been itching to have me become a lawyer or a politician for as long as I can remember.
How were your scores? I’m sure you did brilliantly. I should know, I studied alongside you during all of this madness. I’m eager to properly celebrate with you when we next meet. My mother asked me where I’d gotten the watch the other day and I exclaimed that the brightest witch of my age crafted it for me personally… She assumed it was Ventress, but you’ve always thrived in the chaos of being underestimated, now haven’t you? I will never make that mistake.
Truly,
Ben
Dear Ben,
Don’t you ever scare me with such a dramatic introduction ever again! I nearly had a heart attack, assuming you’d gone and failed your OWLS in a fit of insanity. Given how unusual our fifth year was, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if it had another anomaly to toss our way. I thought I was going to have to portkey to you and shake the living daylights out of you for being so foolish.
You landed on your feet, as you always do and seem to make it look incredibly easy to those that do not know any better. We’re matching, actually, except my E was in DADA- likely during the practical session when I wouldn’t cast that Sectumsempra spell. To have us perform such an act on a defenseless animal is cruel (even if it was a spider), particularly in the name of ‘testing’. If they must endorse the epidemic of violence, can they not simply provide test dummies?
I’m actually surprised I scored that high, since the instructor looked at me like I had ten heads. I spoke to Cody today. He passed, despite how hard he doubted himself. We both knew that he would do fine, of course.
Ventress has been around a lot more frequently, hasn’t she? I know that she’s been quite displaced ever since Dooku’s outing. She’s quite smug and entitled for someone who hardly does anything aside from being an errand girl to a Sith terror. I’m sure she’ll be continuing her tricks this year. To think your family thinks you could be as shrewd and awful as her.
How is Anakin this summer? I contemplated sending him an owl just to see how he was processing the more recent revelations, but it would most likely sound more from the heart if it came from you. You were truly excellent with him this year, if I hadn’t already mentioned it. I know I convinced you to break away from the status quo and lean into your desires to become an auror, but you’ve got a real knack for teaching and seeing the best in people. It’s truly one of your best traits. That, and the fact that regardless how much of a mess you are, you always manage to look pristine from head to toe.
Actually, that last bit is borderline infuriating. I hope to see you before the summer lets out. I understand why that might be difficult, but it seems with your parents’ investment in Anakin, you might have a valid reason to be away from the homestead more often. If you understand what I’m saying.
Best,
Satine
Sixth Year- Winter
{A draft from the desk of Obi-Wan Kenobi}
[Boldened text in parenthesis] = out loud thoughts
Dear Satine,
How do I say this without sounding like a damn fool? You kissed me!
It’s been brought to my attention by literally everyone that we have a certain noticeable chemistry. [Why am I saying what everyone else thinks when I should be saying what I think?] Usually, when we are together, we argue. A lot. Sometimes, I’m surprised we haven’t strangled each other yet by how heated some of our debates become. You have this ability to get under my skin in a way that no one else possesses. Truthfully, I love [Too strong! Don’t go scaring her off now] truly appreciate that about you.
But there are times when I get this feeling… And it’s come on more and more the longer I know you… Like we could get beyond the possible strangulation phase and onto something… Better. [What is wrong with me?] You challenge me and I think sometimes I’m able to challenge you as well. I think having people in your life that push you to be the best you can be is a sign of true companionship friendship. You’ve become a constant in my life that I wouldn’t shake even if I could. Looking back, it’s only natural for me to grow feelings for you.
Where I tried to convince myself those feelings were simply an intense comradery, I cannot deny that I do not notice how the light casts on Cody’s hair or linger on him as he walks away [Blast that makes me sound like a pervert] wonder what his hand would feel like in mine. My heart doesn’t quicken if Cody touches my shoulder or laughs at one of my jokes. Cody doesn’t sit incredibly close to me at the dining hall, but if he did, I would be more confused than completely entranced. Cody is my other best friend, but my entire day is not made or broken by seeing him smile.
I wouldn’t be jealous if the seventh year boys decided to notice that Cody was beautiful.
And you are disarmingly beautiful, but I’ve always known that, even if I try to ignore it.
You can imagine how terrifying all of this is to realize at the remarkable hour of 3 in the morning- a mere 3 hours after you decided to kiss me under the mistletoe. How am I supposed to think of anything else now or ever again? Which leads me to think [Don’t be presumptuous] wonder… If you share these feelings. And if you do, we’ve got quite a predicament there. Because if I could blissfully convinced myself that we could never be, I’d be able to bury that deep within me, but even the idea of hope that you could see me in that light… I fear that would be all too tempting. The evidence says that you might. You’ve always been a better investigator than myself, but I can’t shake this feeling that we have these spellbound moments where everything slows down. And it’s just you and me. During those moments, everything is alright.
Usually, when I’m troubled as I am now, I do not hesitate to reach out to you. You’re my co-conspirator, my fellow prefect, my best friend. However, given the situation, that’s not very easy to do. Even if Qui-Gon speaks of it like it is . I wish it were, because now all I can imagine is the mark you’ve left with your kiss. It’s the same sort of feeling I get every time I touch the face of the watch you gifted me last year.
Should I ever muster up the courage to send this letter to you, which I definitely shouldn’t, because you deserve the sort of man that would bare his heart in person, please understand that while I’ve dedicated my life to studying magical text, I’m not nearly as well-versed in the subject of love. Since I’m so certain you’ll never read this, there’s no point in denying that it’s anything less than love.
Love,
Ben
Seventh Year- Summer
Dear Ben,
I wanted to ensure that you were on the road of being okay, all things considering. I tried to wait to give you space, but I couldn’t make it more than a week without knowing you weren’t going mad locked up in that house of yours. I’m not even positive you’ll write me back, which is infuriating, but understanding since Qui-Gon’s passing is not one to be taken lightly by anyone, but especially you. I wish I could alleviate the pain you must be feeling in any way.
I’m relieved just a little bit, knowing that Anakin is in your care. It was very surprising of your parents to offer him refuge, as he’s currently got no one else to possibly lean on. Hopefully the two of you can find some solace in each other during these difficult times. I care for both of you very much and my heart aches knowing I am virtually helpless in making this any better. I know you are likely placing an immense amount of pressure on yourself to distract you from addressing your own mentor’s death, but while your parents might encourage this behavior, it’s not a true way of coping. You need to let someone in.
Stay safe. Do not hesitate to reach out (no matter how cliché that sounds). Even if you talk to Cody instead, that’s fine. Just… Don’t lock yourself in that head of yours and go rogue. I’d miss you far too much.
With Love,
Satine
Dear Satine,
I’m not okay, but I’ll have to be soon. Anakin is safe and on the same boat. I’ll write later with a real reply. I’m not quite in the spirit right now. I just wanted you to know that I haven’t gone completely mad in absence.
~Obi-Wan
Dear Satine,
I’m sorry to be writing to you so late in “true” reply. I’ve been quite busy with Anakin this summer. It has been helpful having someone else around. While a gray cloud still seems to follow him around, I’d say he’s faring better than expected. It’s alarming how resilient the boy is, but also incredibly depressing that it needs to be that way. We’ve discussed the matter of Qui-Gon’s death a couple of times. While you won’t like this, I think there is some closure to knowing that Anakin’s attacker, who became Qui-Gon’s murderer, is dead.
Meanwhile, I must confess that it still haunts me every night. I haven’t said anything to Anakin, because like you rightfully assumed, I’m not about to unload that burden onto him. He feels it’s his fault just as much as I do. We’ve taken to playing Quidditch outside. My family owns several acres of land, so we are able to get out of earshot every now and then. Anakin actually gets on quite nicely with my parents, which is a massive relief. Getting back to school for our final year will be a good way to get back into routine. On the other hand, I’m dreading trying to attempt adjusting to a school without Qui-Gon.
I suppose studying my brains out for the NEWTS alongside you will provide for ample distraction. You, alone, are admittedly very distracting. I am referring to your character of course. A general statement.
There’s always Quidditch, unfortunately, which isn’t nearly as fun and carefree as playing with Anakin in the yard. Despite how massively competitive he is? He’s just turned 13 and he’s loads better than me already. I still hate the flying aspect.
I’m writing you, of course, because we just got notified that I’m to be the Head Boy to your Head Girl. This incredibly tragic time has truly made me appreciate the people I have in my life. You are, without a doubt, shining at the top of that metaphorical list in bold and underlined print. I wouldn’t be Head Boy had it not been for you.
A lot has changed thus far, Satine, and I’m growing tired of being afraid. Life is too short and it’s always going to throw negatives at us- some that are absolutely debilitating. However, there is always the light, which has made me think that perhaps this year, some changes don’t have to be bad. There are many things I’d like to discuss with you, in person. Because this sort of conversation should be the kind that happens face-to-face.
Would you like to meet before school?
Truly Yours,
Ben
#obitine#Obi-Wan Kenobi#satine kryze#the clone wars#star wars#hpau#magical forces au#fragments of the garden
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2020 Fanfiction Round-Up
I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year.
But oh well!
Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.
This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.
Overall Thoughts
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?
Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting.
But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.
What’s your own favorite story of the year?
Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment.
I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really.
I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.
But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.
Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things.
I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’
From my past year of writing, what was….
My most popular story of this year:
By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.
(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)
Most fun story to write:
Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head.
But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).
Story with the single sexiest moment:
I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January.
I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.
Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:
I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!
I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.
Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings.
the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.
Hardest story to write:
I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.
But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.
Biggest Disappointment:
I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them.
Biggest Surprise:
The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”
Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected.
Most Unintentionally Telling Story:
I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.
I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.
Favorite Opening Line(s):
1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)
2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)
3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)
4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)
5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)
Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:
I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.
1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)
**
2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)
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3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)
**
4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.
Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)
**
5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)
**
6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)
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7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)
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8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.
And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)
**
9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)
**
10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)
**
11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.
Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)
Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:
I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.
The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.
Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.
The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.
Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.
Fic-writing goals for 2021:
Finish Walking Far From Home.
Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.
Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.
#fanfiction round up#confessions of a frustrated writer#you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later
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What would happen if Syntax actually did get cured of the venom? Would he still want to hang around Huntsman and Goliath or would he Think 'huh. Maybe having the people who KIDNAPPED ME around me and my family Probably isn't the best idea.' - Pixel Anon
Uhhhhhhhhhhh yeah I think the answer is Not Good Things Will Happen. I think the answer is ‘Y’all are down an integral clan member hope you didn’t have any plans that hinged on technology or science in general right now.’
Honestly I think you don’t even need to throw Minyi and Xiuying into that equation to make that the answer. Even if you assume Syntax was essentially just alone in the world before spiderfication if he got the spider limbs pulled off and the venom drained from his system, no matter WHAT his Backstory is i think he’d just book it, he’d be OUTTA THERE he is GONE. He’s running before the purple has fully faded from his skin.
And when you THROW IN the ladies, then… well even more so. He’s got Minyi in one arm, a duffel bag in the other and loading into the gd car headed for Xiuying’s cabin to lay low for awhile.
(this gets long so it's under the cut)
Like, most people like to assume that there was a sort of… adjustment period when he had just been spiderfied, usually the flavor of ‘someone (usually Huntsman) reminding him of how he is at his base a human, not a spider, not one of them, and the second he stops being useful is the second he’s only good for how he’ll taste’ and even if he wasn’t afraid of whoever it was in the moment, confident in his ability to manuver extra limbs that aren’t there anymore and speed that wasn’t there either, all the physical additions that being a Spider Demon had are suddenly gone and that threat about being the next meal for the clan suddenly feels a lot more real. Even IF the others had actually grown attached to him and Minyi and even Xiuying, the fact of the matter is if these people decided to kill them all he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
Something I could see having kind of a ‘disney channel cartoon’ resolution in this setup is a thing idk if i’ve mentioned before involving Minyi or not. Bc Minyi, as i know i have mentioned, fucking HATES Spider Queen, and at first for awhile there she was very vocal about it, she hated that her dad was working for her, she hated that he wanted her approval, and most of all she hated that whenever she’d say any of that to him, he’d just sort of… not listen.
Even when even Minyi knows what she’s talking about is silly or irrational, she never really feels like Daddy isn’t listening. Even when she’s wrong and he has to explain to her what it was that was wrong, she still felt like he was listening to her as she talked. But not this. Never this. Minyi’s an observant child, her plotline hinges on it, so she knows when Adults tune her out, she knows when she’s being condescended to. And when Daddy tells her that of course he wants to stay Loyal to Spider Queen and she’s Really Cool Actually she can tell he wasn’t listening to a word she’d actually said. Because he never mentions forgiving her for stealing him, or that he knows it might look like she pushes him around but he knows he’s always in control of the situation, or anything that would actually ANSWER her questions or settle her worries. She just… might as well have stomped her foot and yelled like she was half her age.
And now that his head is clear he can look back on that and be… embarrassed? guilty? His daughter was warning him that whole time out of honest fear and concern that she only barely had the vocabulary and emotional complexity to understand And he brushed her off as if it was nothing. And to rub some salt into it now that his head is clear and the unrelenting force of the Spider demanding subserviance to the Queen is gone it’s obvious that his fucking six year old was right about his ‘boss’ being bad news. So of course he figures he owes Minyi an apology, but Minyi’s just happy that he’s listening to her again so it’s all okay in the end.
And if this is the Cyberhunt timeline then can I get an F in the chat for Huntsman? Bc he ain’t even getting a breakup scene, i don’t think he’d even get a letter outside of the ‘I’m leaving the clan and leaving the city with my family. Don’t try to find us’ that goes out to all of the clan (maybe even still implying that Syntax DOES still have that Spider amplification in him so it’s not just a flimsy ‘stay away’ from an equally flimsy human)
I could see Syntax as being pretty mad at himself for letting the relationship happen at all in that context. Like yeah, his brain was all scrambled up and he can’t ACTUALLY be held accountable for decisions made with the fact that he wasn’t really in his right mind for the whole thing, but it still happened. But now it’s over, and- and it was just some echo of venom that hadn’t quite metabolized yet that left a bitter taste in his mouth to acknowledge that those people weren’t really friends, that he wasn’t really-... His brain is still re-adjusting, he’ll be fine in time.
Minyi I don't think would quite get certain parts about this, in her mind, the big boss is always the bad guy and the other people around are just as scared of the big boss as the person they’re bullying. So to her only Spider Queen was the bad guy. So when Daddy turned back to normal and said that they weren’t safe from the bad guys anymore and needed to go stay at Auntie Xiuying’s cabin for awhile she’d thought that Uncle Huntsman and Uncle Goliath hadn’t come along simply because Uncle Goliath didn’t fit in the car. That they’d catch up with them soon. Because surely, they’d ALL be running away from the REAL bad guy together.
So, she figures they must have gotten lost and had to head back home. Thats not good, surely that means she needs to help them find their way here like how she helped Daddy find his way home. Auntie and Daddy were both too scared of Spider Queen finding them to contact her uncles, but Minyi knew how to evade that!
She knows Uncle Huntsman likes to hang out at their apartment because he loves Daddy (she’ll keep that to herself for now, grownups don’t believe in happily ever afters) so if she mails a letter to the apartment he might find it when he eventually comes over.
She knows Uncle Huntsman doesn’t like puzzles, but he’s good with them when its something important. So she makes a cipher and writes the letter in it, copies down the decoder, and chops it up into distinct shapes, seals it all up in a letter closes the envelope with a sticker on it, and slips it into the mailbox.
Eventually Huntsman does find the letter, written in childish scrawl, the puzzle to decode the letter, and the knowledge that theres only one child on this entire damn continent that would be this obnoxiously enigmatic about sending a fucking letter.
But whatever, he wasn’t gonna do anything except sit in the apartment surrounded by things left behind and feel sorry for himself--er, that is, scavenge for anything that could be used by the Queen and take advantage of the internal heating. So he may as well do something. So he puts together the decoder, she’d just sliced it into fourths. Then translated the letter.
“Hi Uncle Huntsman! If you’re reading this that means you unlocked my letter! Yay! I knew you could! So I know you and Uncle Goliath want to leave the bad lady’s clan too and I know you’re only not here because you guys got lost.” and she just… gave them the coordinates for the place her family was hiding away. (not REALLY hiding, it wouldn’t have taken much to track down the cabin’s whereabouts through Xiuying, but the secluded nature of the cabin may as well have been)
I guess… the way the story ends depends on how you want it to end. Because Huntsman has three options, but really only two. Does he accept defeat and burn the letter, or does he do something with the information he now has? Either way he’d be betraying the queen, but he doesn’t have it in him to turn in the coordinates of their lost clan member and his family. Not this time.
There’s this youtuber i like called Breadsword, he does movie analysis, and in his video about Millenium Actress he says something along the lines of ‘My favorite moment in a romance is somewhere in the last ten minutes, after we’ve followed our characters through the buildup, payoff, and premature destruction of what they had, as they go their separate ways and come to the conclusion that it wasn’t meant to last, one rejects it and takes flight in pursuit of the other... our dreams and our love are the only things truly worth running in the name of.
#Yeah i think Cyberhunt's gonna pull the win for this timeline#this is some good shit man#letters to vega#OC: Minyi#lmk Syntax#LMK Huntsman#cyberhuntshipping
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