#and again you needed to be at least passably literate to do that that was the largest roadblock

[canisalbus]

When Machete became a cardinal, did his parents ever recognize him?

Machete's home village was on the other side of Italy (and separated by the sea no less) and it was small, relatively rural and remote. It's very unlikely many news about Holy See's happenings made their way there. I don't think his parents had any reason to expect to ever hear about him again, he seemed to be somewhat of a lost cause when they dropped him off.

[microwave-core]

I've been plagued by thoughts about the cooking skills of the champions for some reason and have no choice but to write them down so here you go. Blue strikes me as the type of person who has the potential to be a great cook but rarely ever puts the effort in. He just doesn't care too much for cooking. He has other things to do and he can get food somewhere else. That being said, if he is cooking for another person, than he is going to go all out because he is a try hard. Complimenting his cooking gives him the biggest ego boost.

Red is a microwave cooker, as in at least 90% of his meals are going in the microwave. Average meal consists of a cup of noodles and a mug brownie. It's passable, it works enough for him and that's all he cares about. Dude lived on a mountain for a long ass time, he doesn't need luxury, he just needs to get by. He has a male living space, I'm sorry.

Lance is pretty average. Your not getting anything incredible out of him, but you know it's never going to be terrible. He also seems like the kind of person to eat the equivalent of chicken and rice for every meal almost every day of the week. He's not against making something else or eating out, but he would prefer to just make something quick and move on with his day.

Steven is banned from the kitchen. This man will burn water. Anything he touches will be scorched in an instance. Don't ask him how it happens, he doesn't know, his hands just turn ingredients to dust upon making contact, and no amount of supervision or guidance can save him. The only reason he should be manning a stove is to be making Bismuth crystals.

Wallace is a great cook and also loves cooking. He will make a banger meal, every meal, every day of the week, and he takes pride in that. He loves to cook for other people, both to show off and take care of them. He is also the only reason why Steven hasn't died of malnutrition. If they ever get divorced, Steven is in danger.

Cynthia would be on the better end of average. Still not anything incredible, but, again, you know it's never going to be bad. But she definitely seems like the type who would much prefer to eat out at any and every opportunity, especially with company. She doesn't dislike the act of cooking, she just doesn't like how long it takes.

Alder is a grill dad. At every event-family gatherings, league mandated meetings, Ghetsis' court hearing-he is outside and he is grilling. He's got the kiss the cook apron and sandals and everything. Whatever he makes, it is going to be delicious, and you will almost defiantly be sent home with tons of leftovers. Man is just dad shaped.

Iris feels like she ranges between incredible and terrible. As in, she will either make one of the most delicious things you've ever had in your entire life or the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth, and there is no in between. It's entirely dependent on what she makes, like she has some recipes that are baller and anything outside of that is risky at best. Also seems like the type who would make really good ramen.

Diantha is also a great cook, but she rarely has the time to do any actual cooking. Girl is way too busy juggling the work of being both a champion and movie star to set aside time to cook. She's almost always going to eat out, mainly around Lumious City. She's practically a regular at every major café, as she constantly cycles between them for each meal of the day.

Kukui is pretty good, but is also a group cooker. He needs to be cooking with another person, whether that be his wife, or his pokemon, or one of his many adopted children, or his actual child. It doesn't matter, he just needs to be with someone to talk and mess around with. it's lonely when no else is there.

Hau only eats Malasadas. It is the only thing he has consistently eaten for years. The fact that he is still alive is a mystery. People close to him are constantly offering to eat out because that is the only way he will eat literally anything else. It's not that he doesn't like other foods, or that he's a picky eater, he just really likes Malasadas.

Leon is on the lower end of average. He can usually make a passable meal, but he's gonna miss sometimes. He's also never at home, so he rarely even has time to cook with to begin with. However, as a baker? He's nothing short of immaculate. Easily the best baker on this list. He would win The Great Galarian Bake Off every year without any competition.

Geeta is an enigma. Is she good? Is she bad? Incredible? Terrible? Only she knows. She's also the type who barely ever has time to cook to begin with, being the workaholic that she is. She probably hasn't touched a stove in years, and has very little desire to change that fact. Do not ask her to cook, she will not do it.

[noforkingclue]

Hello again, Darling. I'm glad you're okay with that. But, again, if you are not pleased or not interested, everything is fine, just refuse.

You are in an established relationship with Homelander. You never show up with him at events, but, literally, the whole country knows, that his strongest supe has a girlfriend without powers. You are known by sight only in the Tower. And Homelander himself "protects" you from all this. He's not an obsessive possessive creep, no. How could you think that, no. He's just caring. And he is not suffocates you with his perverted notion of love, of course not. You are not under his eternal control, and he has not scared away your entire environment from you. Of course not, you're just imagining it.

In general, you are not so unhappy with him in a relationship. At times, he's very passable, even cute. Well, you youself, almost voluntarily, agreed to his offer to be together. You know, he's a monster, but, you almost feel sorry for him..? You're already used to him. You don't think it's Stockholm Syndrome, rather you've just always seen a little bit of good in Homelander. Well, probably yes, you probably love him. At least, that's what you think.

You have a pretty reliable, happy relationship. That's what he always thought. But after lunch, almost everyone in the building is kind of tense, and cautiously squint at him. And then, poor Ashley asks him to sit down and informs him, that you are no longer with them. That you're gone. And you did it to yourself. No note, no explanation, nothing. And that there was no way to save you.

But Homelander saw you this morning. You didn't cry, you didn't say stupid things. Everything was fine. You even kissed him goodbye. No, of course he knew, that you had such problems in the past, but he thought you were lying.

And what should he do now? How to react? What should he think now, how to live on?

Note: requests are currently closed

So I hope I got all the details in this request. I know I have quite a few long requests like this so if I don't get all the details in it I do apologise. Just the way my brain works!

Title: Gone

Warnings: suicide, unhealthy relationship

The Boys tag list: @captainofmybigwetdream, @scraftskhu35, @zannemes, @holy-minseok

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

It was a lie.

It couldn’t be true.

It wasn’t true.

Homelander didn’t believe it.

He didn’t want to believe it.

Ashley’s stuttering voice seemed to disappear into the background as he looked out of the window, jaw clenched. He heard everything. The voices, heartbeats, breathes of everyone in the city below him. He could hear the lives of everyone.

Apart from the one person he wanted to hear.

“-sorry.”

“What?”

He looked over his shoulder at Ashley who cringed back. He turned around so he was facing her fully and took a measure stepped towards her. Ashley staggered back on her heels, terror crossing her face.

“What. Did. You. Say.” Said Homelander

“That… that.”

“Yes?”

“We’re all so sorr-“

Ashley didn’t get to finish her sentence before Homelander’s hand clenched around her throat. He slammed her against the wall, smirking at the slight crunch of her ribs. Ashley clawed at his hand and he took a step closer, squeezing harshly. He closed his eyes and shuddered as Ashley’s nail dug into his hand and when he opened his eyes they were glowing red.

“Your heart is racing,” he said quietly, “Tends to happen when people are lying.”

“I-“ Ashley managed to choke out

“I don’t like it when people lie to me, Ashley.”

“Not-“

“Why are you lying to me Ashley? Why are you keeping her from me.”

“Put Ashley down.”

The calm voice of Stan cut through the tension. Homelander looked over at him, eyes still glowing red. Stan raised an eyebrow and after a second Homelander let go of Ashley. She fell to the ground, gasping in deep breaths of air.

“Ashley, I need to speak to Homelander. Alone.”

Ashley staggered to her feet and scuttled out of the room. Neither Stan nor Homelander spoke. Homelander walked back over to the window and said,

“Where is she.”

“Y/n is gone.”

“I want her back.”

“She’s dead.”

“She can’t be.”

“She is.”

“She promised that she’d always be there with me,” Homelander said, his voice shaking just slightly, “She promised. She was there with e this morning. She was happy. Why would she do this to me?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“We were happy.”

“You kept her locked up.”

“She’s human. She’s weak. She needs me to look after her, to protect her.”

“She was human,” Stan corrected coldly, “But she wasn’t weak.”

Homelander spun around to glare at Stan, eye glowing red. Stan didn’t flinch away and Homelander said,

“I love her.”

“As much as you are capable of loving anyone,” said Stan, “We’re already working on a story. I don’t believe that you’d want the public knowing that the girlfriend of America’s greatest superhero killed herself. Some of sort tragic, sudden illness I think.”

“Fiancé,” said Homelander, “Tell them y/n is, was, my fiancé.”

“Was she?”

“Eventually she would be.”

“Very well. I’ll tell the press office.”

As Stan left the room Maeve entered it. She pursed her lips as she remained by the door, not wanting to get any closer than necessary.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “About y/n.”

“You really mean that,” said Homelander, “You’re the first person who has genuinely meant that. Why?”

“Simple,” Maeve grimaced before fixing Homelander with a harsh glare, “She was too good for you.”

[crimeronan]

Oh my goodness! Thank you for the Darius Lore. I must now reread it several times then go reread WWAITSOATL with my newfound knowledge!! >:3 Would love to read the bit you said you've written of the with Belos, GG, and Darius should you feel like sharing (No pressure tho!)

i'd need to edit the full scene a LOT to make it worth posting, but i can at Least give u this snippet from the draft:

and in looking for this, i also found one more scene that i forgot i'd drafted, a bit of which is passable enough:

-

“Oh,” Darius says, surveying the scattered equipment and the sigil-less witches in the room. “Wrong door. I’ll be going, then.”

He’s managed to exit and stride almost all the way down the hall when a hand grabs his wrist, hard. His magic springs into action almost before he’s registered the movement, a tendril of abomination snapping out at the assailant.

The assailant’s grip does not loosen.

Darius whirls, jerking his arm out of the offending grip, and finds himself face-to-face with Hunter. No mask, full uniform, staff gripped in his other hand.

He’s about to snap something about personal space, but then Hunter grips his arm again and drags him through a previously-unseen gap in the castle wall. Possibly a previously-nonexistent gap.

Darius finds himself in a narrow stone alcove, the opening concealed behind a tapestry. Hunter presses him back against the wall, releasing his arm in favor of pressing a gloved hand over Darius’s mouth.

Darius makes an indignant noise. Titan only knows where the fabric has been lately.

“If it was anyone else,” Hunter murmurs, his eyes focused, intent, boring into Darius’s own, “this would be a different conversation. But I just need to check. Are you going to tell anyone?”

Darius flicks a glance down at the offending hand, raising an eyebrow. Hunter removes it from his mouth.

“Tell anyone what?” he says.

“Darius.”

“Honestly. Right now all I’m thinking about is how irritated I am with you. You give me a heart attack thinking someone’s trying to murder me, and then you get your slimy gloves and these slimy walls all over my clothes. I literally don’t know or care what you’re talking about.”

“Darius.”

“I will not tell anyone that you shirked a patrol to relax with a handful of other duty-shirking miscreants for an hour. You were all passing around apple blood and sharing gossip about weird former high school classmates. The irresponsible party vibes were astounding. Someone was most of the way to passed out under the table, I heard some whispered arguing about whether to fess up to the Healing Coven, and I’m almost certain I saw someone sticking chewing gum to the Emperor’s statue. About what you’d expect from a bunch of twenty-two year olds who don’t feel like doing their jobs.”

Hunter’s shoulders relax, just a tiny bit. He takes a small step back, putting as much space between them as is possible in the cramped area. “I can explain.”

“Are you going to get hurt?”

“Probably.”

“Then -- yeah. You will explain.”

[lyraoctaviawrites]

Thanks to Solitaire by Alice Oseman, I’ve started really enjoying writing in both first person and present tense, and I wondered what the ITP characters’ voices would be like if they were the narrator of their own book from this same perspective. Into the Phantasm is third person throughout after all.

So I decided to write a quick opening for each one because why the hell not?

If you write a lot in third person, feel free to do this with some of your own characters, it has been genuinely really fun. A simple change of perspective can do wonders.

Sarah:

Another night’s gone by with very little sleep. My eyes sting and my bones feel cold, but my alarm clock says that Sarah Taylor shall sleep no more. I think that’s a Shakespeare quote. I barely remember anything I learned in English. Why did I even quote that? Stop being weird, Sarah, it’s too early for that!

My alarm clock is way too loud. Feels like my ears are gonna fall off. I should really get a different one… I’d use my phone like a normal person would, but whenever I hear a phone vibrate I start to panic. No clue why. I’m weird. You should know this by now.

I switch my stupid clock off and get dressed into my blue hoodie and leggings. As usual, I check my mirror to see if I look okay, and as usual, I absolutely don’t. I’m passable at best and I don’t look my best today. The bags under my eyes are darker than ever and I just look really pale… It’s annoying… But, I put on my best smile anyway. I’m seeing Maya and Lillian today. A smile is the least I can do to brighten their day.

Maya:

My name is Maya Cadigan. Trans girl, half welsh, full time bitch. I love my friends, hate my mum, hate my life, hate the entire world to be honest. I just hate a lot of things, but that’s not my fault. If those things didn’t want me to hate them, they should stop being so easy to hate.

I realised I was trans a few months ago and to be honest, it’s been rough. Thanks to my mum being a phobic piece of garbage, I knew way less about being trans and queer than I should have. It took a lot of research and a lot of soul searching for me to say, ‘Hey. I’m a girl. I’m trans. And that’s okay.’

I like being a girl.

I wanna tell my friends. I don’t think I’ll be able to go into college if I don’t have them by my side in all this. I met up with them recently and hearing them deadname me made me wanna tear my whole fucking head off. I didn’t want to blame them but I couldn’t help… hating them for it. Of course, that just made me hate myself so I ended up leaving early and now whenever I think about it I cringe. I can be really illogical sometimes.

Sarah will be the easiest to tell. She’s a lesbian so she’s part of the community anyway, she’s literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my life and Lillian… I dunno, I guess I care a little more about Lillian’s opinion of me… Sarah first then. Before I have a chance to overthink and ruin it, I grab my phone and start typing.

Lillian:

Welp, here we go. Another day of being alive.

Late summer can be such a boring time, especially so when you’ve barely seen your friends recently and you always have to message first. It’s okay though, they both have busy lives. They both do a lot of stuff… without me… I’m gonna stop thinking about that now!

I contemplate getting dressed but I don’t really feel like going anywhere or even leaving the house. Pyjama day. Why not? Relax a little for once, why don’t ya, Lilly?

Note to self, stop calling yourself Lilly…

I don’t need my friends to have a good time. I can do all the cooking today, maybe bake something (cheesecake sounds heavenly right now, omg), and of course I can marathon some movies. Could watch a bunch of really terrible horror movies. Seems like a really terrible horror movie kinda day.

I’m fine without Sarah and Maya. Plus, when I see them again, it’ll be like they never left. I’ll be fine. It won’t ever be like the nightmares I’ve had about them leaving me. It won’t. It’ll be fine.

I’ll be fine…

Kora:

Day 272 on the run

What an exciting day this is turning out to be. This parallel dimension I’ve been reading about known as ‘Earth’ was real and I’ve just travelled to it! These magic mirrors really are fascinating. I don’t pretend to know how they work but that’s only because I haven’t finished reading the books I have about them.

I love reading so so much but I can tend to be a little slow because if I don’t give the words a little time to digest then what’s the point of even reading the book? I won’t remember any of it!

I’ve tested the mirror out a few times and it seems that moving only a short distance on Earth and warping again can cause me to appear very far away from where I first used the mirror in the Phantasm. However, when coming back to Earth, it sends me back to around the same place. I have no clue why this happens but there’s got to be an answer. My current theory is that the landmasses are a vastly different size but I have yet to prove it.

I seem to have stumbled upon some kind of training centre called a ‘College.’ Perhaps investigating it will give me some information about this amazing new world. For the sake of research, I must enter!

[raayllum]

Anyway let’s finally talk about

Dark Magic’s Cannibalism Motif

Dark magic has been compared to many things in fandom, most notably hunting by those who see nothing wrong with dark magic itself. However, I’ve always seen dark magic as been more adjacent to cannibalism — the consumption of self and others — as far as motifs and explicit explorations in canon go. 

This is for a few reasons, most notably Sarai’s speech in 2x05. In it, she critiques the labelling of the Magma Titan simply as a monster, instead positing

Does it think? Does it feel? Does it have a family? Or is it the last of its kind?

Simply put: is the Magma Titan sentient like a “human” (whatever that means) and therefore is murdering it much more ethically complicated than we want it to be? Is seeing something as a monster — as dark magic parts — the easy way out of the problem we’re in? Harrow is able to extend not seeing some lives as inherently more valuable than others on the basis of birth and borders to Duren, but he is unable to do so with Xadia. 

For example, if the Magma Titan is fully human in thought and feeling, but just speaks a different language — how would you feel if the spell had required an elf’s heart, meaning whichever unlucky elf they came across first would be slaughtered? What if it required an elven child’s body parts? Would you see the fault line then? Would you stare down the slippery slope and see the bottom?

While I think most dark magic spells that require only animals and plants and no magical creatures to be much more passable, even that is an ethical pit. What constitutes as an animal vs a sentient being in a world where some animals can talk? Is talking the basis for human intelligence, when plenty of humans do not talk and have routinely been ostracized and abused for it by society, seen as ‘less than’ to begin with? What if a magical creature is considered ‘sentient enough’ to not be magic parts in one kingdom, but not enough in another? 

Dark Magic is inherently about finite consumption. You have the materials for one spell at any given time; if it is going to be performed again, you need a repletion of these materials. (The one exception we see seems to be Claudia’s snake bracelets, although who knows how they’re enchanted.) Season three ramps this up further by showing how you can consume dark magic and how it can consume you — literally — particularly in the case of Viren.

“He swallows your heart.  He swallows your mind. He swallows your power.”

Translated dark magic spell from Aaravos when he and Viren are attacking Zym in the exact same way Ziard used in the 3x01 / 1x01 flashbacks with the sun birds. Time and time again, we see Dark Magic focus on parts and things rather than people. Dark magic, while it can use all parts in the body, even off handedly derides certain things and beings as useless. Additionally, organ harvesting every part of a person’s body is not the ‘winning’ solution here, either.

We see this in the way Viren, Aaravos and Claudia both treat other people like they’re inherently disposable (Rayla, the human soldiers - who although they fight, Ezran regrets and at least tried to give them a path; Kasef’s anger, the rulers’ lives, Khessa, Aaravos with Viren and Claudia, etc). We can also see this in the way Claudia only sees the parts of Viren she wants to, rather than seeing him for who he wholly is and who they are both becoming. 

So what is cannibalism, exactly, as a motif? Well, at its core, cannibalism is a transgressive motif, per the violation of the self and of personhood, and very common in the Gothic literature space in particular, although it pops up everywhere. Feeding on human flesh is routinely seen as a bad thing in the source materials (using that term loosely) TDP draws upon, like Greek Mythology (the Minotaur, who is half human in nature and in birthright with a human mother; Tantalus, who slayed his children and fed them to the gods and was punished accordingly). 

It also speaks to the religious Christian symbolism Viren is given in S3 (death and resurrection, parting a literal red sea, “only beloved son,” “do not be afraid,” etc). This lends itself perfectly to his God and martyr complex, believing so much in sacrifice of both himself and ultimately of others for ‘the greater good’ that only serves to incite more violence in the future. Christianity mythos is steeped in cannibalism with the body and blood of Christ being a literal belief in many denominations, including the one I grew up with (hi Catholicism). Furthermore, we see this cannibalism motif repeated more than once throughout the series:

CANNIBALISM is both a concept and a practice that may involve diverse themes of death, food, sacrifice, revenge, aggression, love, and destruction or transformation of human others. The many and varied examples of cannibalism are difficult to summarize, except in terms of the widespread idea of the human body as a powerful symbolic site for defining relations between oneself and others and marking the boundaries of a moral community. In violating the bodily integrity that prevails in ordinary social life, cannibalism signifies an extraordinary transformation or dramatization of relations between those who eat and those who are eaten. When it occurs in religious contexts, the act of consuming human substance commonly represents an exchange between people and cosmic powers, promoting union with the divine or renewing life-sustaining spiritual relations. 

This is the crux of Harrow and Viren’s disagreement over the Soulfang spell and the breakdown of their relationship, as Viren continues to push the moral boundary of the castle community while Harrow has his eyes fully opened. Aaravos is similar, with violations of the body and consumption of the other being a crucial part to furthering his and Viren’s bond.

TDP in some ways takes it one step further, violating not just the body but the spirit and the soul in some of the worst dark magic spells, hollowing out not just the victim’s body as a site of trauma, but the spellcaster’s body as well. 

We see this in Bloodmoon Huntress as the endgame. Kim’dael has been capturing and consuming elves - including children - for centuries, using their souls and bodies the same way Viren uses his butterflies. And we know from the coins and Through the Moon that souls used often in Dark Magic do not receive peace to the same degree as those who are allowed to rest, with both the assassins and the corrupted soldiers from the Storm Spire.

Dark magic destroys the world in an unsustainable way, as it can never be sustained by its nature; not in its ingredients, and not in the toll it takes on the user. Its endgame form, that we’ve already seen come to pass more than twice, is organ harvesting of children or innocent beings. The horror of cannibalism is desecration of the self through desecration of the other, of dehumanizing another person enough to use them on the most base level possible as food.

And well, that sounds like Dark Magic, to me.

[tuttle-did-it]

Tom Paris had to plan how to build The Delta Flyer (a large shuttle craft) for years. Paris, Tuvok, Seven of Nine, Harry Kim and B’Elana Torres spent days on the construction working flat out, around the clock.

How did Geordie build a whole damned starship in his spare time in a matter of days? The Enterprise D is the size of a city. They literally have shipyards where they build these giant starships- we’ve seen them in episodes with Utopia Planitia. Hundreds of people working for years to fit every bolt, every bulkhead, every panel, every turbo lift.

And Geordie was able to replicate it all perfectly, in his spare time, by himself, in just a few days? The Enterprise is at least several hundred times bigger than the Delta Flyer. Where were you hiding this humongous side project, Geordie? Why didn’t anyone notice this starship as big as a city in your pocket? Where did you get the materials? Where’d you get the warp core? Who helped you construct it all, or did you do it yourself? Because my man, if you built a fucking giant STARSHIP by yourself, in just a few days, in your SPARE time?? I mean you spent most of your days scolding your adult daughter about how she didn't measure up to you, so how did you possibly have time to build a dumbass ship?

If you managed to build a huge star ship in a matter of days by yourself, you should be the new Prime Minister of the Universe. You are the most powerful human being out there. That's like Q levels of magic.

Cos the entire Voyager crew was really tired working together flat out to build the Delta Flyer- a shuttle— and it still has to do test flights and corrections. The hull even breached on their first outing. They had to upgrade it several times.

How did you happen to know you needed to recreate your old starship to begin with? Again, Q levels of competency, there. Is Livingston the fish in Picard’s ready room replicated, too? Picard's archaeology books? His Shakespeare compendium?

How many test flights did you take out this giant star ship on in the couple of days you were working on this thing? You even had time to get the carpet right? And recreate the plaque? And do all of this without anyone noticing.

Even Data working at super-human speed couldn’t build the Battle Bridge or a shuttle the size of the Delta Flyer in a few days by himself- but you built a whole ass giant ship??

It took over 1000 people to run this giant ship on a normal day. And even with it fully automated, the idea that 7 people could run the entire ship into a battle?

CRUSHER: It's all perfectly logical to you, isn't it? The two of us roaming about the galaxy in the flagship of the Federation. No crew at all.

PICARD: We've never needed a crew before.

At least in ‘Remember Me,’ the idea of such a small number of people running a giant starship was preposterous- laughable. But apparently you can run a ship the size of a city with 7 people when the fuel is nostalgia.

Oh and after he’s rebuilt this perfect Federation ship, they’re not going to put it into service? They just rechristen the Titan instead? Or was it just so poorly put together that just the bridge was perfect and the rest was held together with duct tape? it really could only handle that one little battle? In which case, shouldn't you have spent more time making sure the ship was space-worthy instead of replicating and laying the fucking carpet??

The fact that Picard writers/show runners thought this was passable and not laughable is sad. audiences swallowed this bullshit is just pathetic, and shows how low the bar is for quality as long as nostalgia is the fuel.

Fuck. This. Show. Fuck this nostalgic impossible bullshit. Fuck this magic replica of a giant starship. Fuck Picard. Fuck that carpet.

[bluerosesburnblue]

I've been putting off writing this because just thinking about it pisses me off, but the last story update in HPHM made my blood boil. I just want to slap half of the characters here

Oh, I'm sure. Because you put in so much effort to keep things from getting to this point. Seven years of "oh, the professors are handling it" and now it's "oh, I was off-ground the entire fight WHOOPS"

You'd better hope that Rita Skeeter never hears that a criminal organization just stormed the bridge while you were away and a gang of students took care of it

He might be your dad, but I'm choosing to ignore both of your existences for the sake of my much better ideas regarding the Dwyn family

YOU LITTLE SHIT I WAS JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW UPSET I WAS THAT THEY NEVER FOLLOWED UP ON THE FORESHADOWING THAT THAT WASN'T JACOB. Jam City is actively trying to piss me, specifically, off with this, I swear...

What? How??? Were we actively ditching class to go talk to Perry? I wasn't informed of this! It's not my fault that they got rid of classes as a mechanic and replaced them with Assignments, Snape!

Which is all besides the point that this scene literally only exists to make you feel bad for poow widdle Mewuwa. She's good now. She didn't contribute a damned thing, but she stood next to you when it counted and that's all redemption really is, right? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And I'm supposed to find that sweet? "Awwww, she considers you family" NO SHE BROKE INTO A HOSPITAL ROOM UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. This should be very concerning because if the hospital isn't running background checks, that's a bad thing. Call the COPS

NO SHE DIDN'T. She literally was ON THEIR SIDE until the last second, and even then all she proved was that she wasn't loyal to Verucca because, again SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

"Aww, look how far we've come, Merula helped you make the potion that she initially sabotaged at the start of the game because she's a Good Person™ now" fuck offfffffff

Congrats on being the only person I can tolerate in this chapter, sir. The singular braincell in this entire game is in Snape's possession

A damned shame he just used it up, though

NO! No I'm NOT. She is BANNED FOR LIFE. And if she returns as a ghost I am banning her for her un-life. Once I graduate I'm getting a RESTRAINING ORDER

I will remind you that her vow was to remain loyal to her "true family." Betraying Verucca only proves that she did not consider Verucca her family. It doesn't prove that we are

Especially since I sure as hell am not

YOU WOULD SAY THAT. You WOULD defend your precious Y6 partner-in-crime. Don't you dare speak for me, I don't agree at all

She'd think "Oh my god, you're all the stupidest people I ever met, I'm so glad that I got out of this game back when the writing was at least passable" immediately followed by "why the fuck is Merula 'lock you in a closet with a Devil's Snare, 2x Niffler engorger which could kill it, betrays you to join a criminal organization and then makes excuses' Snyde here?"

Which is precisely why you tried to turn this organization into your own personal anti-Rakepick revenge group throughout Y6, I'm sure

What a shitshow

There's no need to evilly mug at me, sir, I'm non-canon

[omniblades-and-stars]

“Lou-Bug, you decent?” Daddy asked gently as he knocked on the thin wooden panel of her childhood bedroom door three times.

Lou groaned and wiped her eyes. She was sprawled on her stomach across the entire surface of the twin bed that creaked and moaned just about as much as she did as she shifted to look over at the alarm clock.

2:14 P.M., it taunted.

Lou groaned again and tried to sit up, finding that she had an empty beer bottle still clutched in her left hand, and that her bed was damp and smelled like beer. At least it was beer, and she hadn't quite fallen so far as to be literally pissing drunk. She was still wearing the same pair of sweatpants and tee-shirt that she'd been wearing for the last two days. And as she turned to sit up, she caught a whiff of herself. A charming mixture of old beer and sweat that rankled her nose and made her stomach turn a flip.

She was disgusting, and she was disgusted with herself.

“Yeah, I'm dressed,” she croaked out and closed her eyes, shielding herself from the shards of jittering light caused by her current state of hungover consciousness. The posters of boy bands and swimsuit models on her wall all stared down on her in judgment, mocking her with their beautiful, clean skin, and perfectly styled hair.

Her dad slowly opened the door, holding a small cup of water in his hand, and a bottle of aspirin in the other. He quietly sat down next to her, passing the cool glass to her waiting hands and then set about opening the bottle. He waited until she took some of the medicine and drank the rest of the water before fixing eyes that looked terribly similar to hers on her, with a concerned bent to his thick brows.

“Louie, heard you cryin’ last night,” he said quietly. He rested his hands, slightly wrinkled and weathered by the sun and his carpentry, on his knees.

She looked down at her feet and tried to fight the trembling in her lips, but she lost the battle and tears began to fall. “I'm stuck, daddy. Every time I look at that offer to go back to Ariake … I just,” her voice faltered and she gave over to quiet sobs. As Joseph Miller wrapped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in tight to his side, she whispered, “I can't go back. I'm too scared to go back.”

“Bug, you know I'd love it if you stayed here forever, but it ain't good for you,” Joe said kindly. “Baby girl, you don't have to go back to Ariake. You don't even have to go back to bein’ in a lab. Honey, there's a whole galaxy just waitin’ for you to go and show it your smile.”

Lou smiled and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. “You're such a sap,” she rocked her shoulder into his chest. “If I leave Earth, I won't get to see you as much.”

“Bug,” he started sounding very serious all of a sudden, “Don't you ever put your life on hold for your old man, you hear me? I ain't goin’ nowhere. I'll be here whenever you get a chance to come visit. Don't stay in this shit town just cause I can't leave it.”

“I wouldn't even know what to do if I left.”

“I bet there's technology out there that would blow your mind, baby girl. It's just waiting for you to get your hands on it and make it better.” He suddenly wrapped her neck in the crook of his arm and rubbed his knuckle against the crown of her head, “Or you can take all that money you got and just go enjoy your life dingbat, have an adventure. Hate seeing you like this.”

Lou couldn't help but erupt into fits of laughter as she pushed Joe back and made a passable attempt and smoothing her greasy hair back down. “Fine, fine. I see your point. I'll think about it.”

“Good. Now, please, for the love of God and all things holy, please take a shower. You smell real fuckin’ bad, Bug. Like a dead possum. You might need to burn these clothes-”

“Alright, alright. I get it, old man. I'll shower soon as I slam a sandwich.”

Daddy patted her knee a couple of times before standing and crossing to the door, “That's my girl. See ya in the workshop later? Could use your help.”

“If the headache goes away, I'll be there.”

Joe Miller knocked on the wood paneling of her door three times again as he gently closed the door. His knocking was followed by a fit of gasping coughing. Lou grimaced as she heard him knocking on the door to his bedroom three times as he entered.

It was a knocking day again.

[faelune-home]

FFXIVWrite 2023 #18: Fish out of Water

(A/n: This prompt was too perfect for Yuri's settling in arc, especially after the literal previous entry, so we continue with her perspective again today! Admittedly, this is a bit wordy and waffly, but I felt like I hit a lot of points for her - her homesickness, loneliness, and just general temper problems and how short she gets with others.

Being pushed onto errands she didn't ask for and busying her with work when she was doing something else, on top of not being great with new people, she feels like she'll literally snap at someone eventually aha.

I hope it all came across with her here.

Word count: 1580)

Yuri was almost at her limit with this city and its scholars and the inane back and forth they insisted on having her do for all these stupid errands. Needing a book for Krile that was still in one professor’s pile of things, but oh, they’d give it to her if she sent off some paperwork to the market vendor at the other end of the city, but then that vendor needed some help with getting some boxes down to the pier, and then the customs officer needed something as well–

Kami give her strength, she was this close to snapping back at someone and insisting they do the work themselves. Oh they would say they’re too busy, but everyone was busy, she was busy too, she was supposed to be back with Krile at the last bell! 

Though for a small blessing, Krile at least seemed to understand when Yuri showed up, unknown box in arm, explaining why she still didn’t have that book, but she did have a paper addressed to the Students, though she couldn’t recall where she’d picked it up from amongst the chain of work from the day. It was a struggle to keep the bite out of her words, it wasn’t aimed at the other woman.

“Here, why don’t you leave that here and go take a rest?” Krile had suggested, gesturing at the box, “I know someone that can take that up for you, save you some of the work. I’m sure professor Antoinaut will be finished by the time you return.”

The Last Stand was one of the only places that made decent food in the city, much to Yuri’s dismay. Not that the food itself was disappointing, it was as delicious as it had been described to her, and she would take the trip across the city, no matter how taxing her day had been, just to eat there. Better than the tasteless sawdust these scholars seemed to call bread, nutritional value be damned.

But truly, Yuri’s woes lay more in the lack of connection to her home, especially in the food. They certainly knew of Hingan dishes, and some few recipes had made their way into cookbooks upon the library shelves at Noumenon or even in the Last Stand’s kitchens. And bless the chefs, they’d made an attempt at some of them when she’d asked, even if they had to substitute much of the ingredients due to the last minute order, and the results were certainly…passable. Still tasty, and filling for what she was looking for, but compared to her memory of home, it was still somewhat different, enough to make her feel homesick.

(The waiter took her order, familiar with her requests after the brief time she’d spent in the city, leaving Yuri to people watch while she waited. The back and forth of the pier was the same as always, freight deliveries, gleaners going to and fro, some with a scholar chatting by their side. Many faces she still didn’t recognise in the throng - an idle lalafell standing around under the awnings in wait, a pair of students chatting by the water and pointing to the daylight skies, a miqo’te woman chatting away to Dickon at the desk, a box under arm.)

Even as she slurped her way through an oden bowl, her mind kept going back to the winters when old lady Yoko would prepare a big pot for the town’s young ones, or when Raiden would try to show off to the younger children with the heaps of konpeito he’d brought them back from his travels to the other town. And memories of the old faces just made her feel as though she stood out all the more keenly. 

There were few Hingan or Doman individuals in Sharlayan, most of them having moved with family from a young age and long since settled to consider the city their home. The few that were transfers on their own educational leave were still too estranged for Yuri to connect to, leaving her with just her father to talk with. But even he would be leaving soon for new pastures, his time at the institute come to an end.

She had to wonder how he managed so far from home. Perhaps his travelling had long since desensitised him to homesickness, his taste for knowledge and experiencing other cultures and discovery winning out over the pangs for the familiar. The appeal of travel and the world's wonders had her ensnared from a young age due to her father’s tales, but Yuri had always been wary of following in his exact footsteps for fear of that growing distance; the only solace to her that he never forgot her or mother during his long absences being his ever frequent letters and gifts home.

(A chill wind blew through the restaurant, making her shiver despite the warming meal she ate. Damn this city and how far north it was! She’d never been good with the cold, and the thought of travelling to lands as prone to cold as this did not sound appealing. Her father would surely tease her, a scholar should be willing to brave any weather after all to sate their curiosity. But damn it all, she didn’t like it! It seems others dotted around the pier felt the chill as well, as she could see scowls on faces and small clusters moving out deeper into the city. And that same miqo’te with a few new boxes piled in her arms stopping short and visibly shivering with the breeze.)

Those letters did still stoke the fires of her own curiosity, hence why she was even here, taking her own first step into the wider world, even if it was a smaller step than her own father had done, instantly setting off for the furthest corner he could reach. And as much as the menial work she’d been set with here was grating on her, almost fit to burst and scream at the next person who asked for a favour–

No. No. That wasn't fair. Perhaps every other market stall owner and studium professor was a pain about asking for more and more help when she was already on an errand, but the Students themselves - Krile and G’raha - had been more than welcoming. They’d taken their time with her to help her settle in and make sure she was alright with the work at hand - more boring affairs such as filing and organising the Annex, but given the state of it, she could understand the need.

They hadn’t asked her to do anything more strenuous than errands around town - which is what ended up flaring up the worst of her temper, but again, that was mostly everyone else sending her on extra trips at the same time before she finally returned to the Annex - but they always offered to help guide her if she needed it.

And often, she was turning it down as a way to showcase her own independence and not have to rely on them overmuch. But now she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe someone was present, her trips would cut straight to the point. But then they would be busy as well, organising their own work and keeping track of any far flung agents, could she really take up their time for a simple delivery to the library or a pick up at the docks?

Yuri sighed. It’d be best to ask rather than assume. Maybe if she went back now, with her food finished and temper cooled, she could broach the question.

She waved down a waiter to collect her empty bowl - delicious and foreign as it always was - and set off from the restaurant. A faint dusting of snow began to fall. Well, as much as she disliked the cold, she couldn’t help but enjoy the snow fall. It rarely lay and caused the problems snow usually would. Perhaps some form of magicks running through the marble path tiles? Or was that a tad too far even for the vaunted scholars of Sharlayan? Or maybe it was, since they managed to keep their plentiful water features from freezing year round.

“Ah welcome back,” Ojika welcomed her with a bow, “Enjoy your meal?”

“Well enough,” Yuri nodded back, “is Krile here? Or G’raha?”

“G’raha stepped out - something to do with a gleaner request in Labyrinthos - but Krile is here, and she was waiting for you actually. She has a guest she would like you to meet. Step right through.” Yuri’s interest was piqued, though she remained careful as she made her way through to the main hall.

The door was wide open and voices could be heard as she walked the corridor. She slowed to avoid her clicking heels from catching their attention before she arrived fully at the door, standing at the entranceway until she was noticed.

Krile spied her instantly of course, facing her way as she was while their guest had her back to the doors.

“Ah, there you are. Pleasant meal?” she asked. The other figure - fluffy tail twitching, her ears perked up at the sudden and silent arrival - turned. That miqo’te…

“If it’s alright with you,” Krile started, already gesturing to their extra addition, who herself was beginning to smile broadly, pointed teeth on show, “I’d like to introduce you to someone. She might just understand some of what you’ve gone through personally, if you recall our own chats before now.”

[thatonedreamer]

Seven people, seven lines

Thanks @wildswrites for tagging me!

We're gonna be dredging up some characters I haven't ever introduced on here for funsies.

Ambrosia (The Art of Storytelling) (which is a WIP I haven't touched in months)

“So I’ve gotten so predictable that you even know what time I’ll show up here? What a shame, maybe I should do something different sometime soon," Ambrosia said while smiling.

“There’s nothing wrong with some consistency here and there.” Consistency, that wasn’t really something she could afford in her life. She was a different person in this bar though, and this person knew what consistency was like the back of her palm. Maybe she would’ve been this type of person in a different life.

Damon (The WIP that is untitled but Passable was one of its titles)

He understood what it felt to not be noticed at times. Well, he used to understand it a bit more. He wasn’t completely alone now, not always. But the fact that he could end up being alone again was the thing stopping him from taking action to being less lonely. Ironic wasn’t it? Inaction, it was the best thing he could provide for most people in his life. He could explore the forest though, he knew one day he would. He just had to be desperate enough- no, he just had to take a few steps heading in that direction.

Finn (Passable WIP)

It’s amazing how the world can stop in its tracks. Well of course not literally, but there’s moments when the universe lets you know it’s taking a breath. And most people don’t realize those moments are happening until they’re gone. Finn realized that as soon as he had reached the front door. Seeing his mom sitting down on the couch was when most people would realize the world was taking a breath. She was so still, it creeped him out immediately. She was watching the news, or at least he assumed it was the news. He just remembers quickly going upstairs to his room and staying asleep until the next day. It was like his body knew what needed to happen before his brain did. Now that day isn’t even as traumatic as it could’ve been, but it was still an X mark on where his old life stopped and his new life began.

Ava (Passable WIP, y'all please keep in mind I haven't touched this in months either ;-;)

“Do you guys have to be so loud? What are you even getting your panties in a twist for anyway?” She sat down by a dark haired, equally dark natured at times, boy. Now what she meant by dark nature was that she’s never known someone to be so in love with nature in a morbid way, or at least she thought of it as morbid. He’s told them about a forest in his neighborhood, the “can’t be touched” forest or whatever he called it. She didn’t fully believe him, mainly because it seemed like he didn’t fully believe himself about it either. This boy was looking at her like she had her face melted off or something.

Logan (The Villain That Could)

“We can’t leave without the commander’s orders,” she quietly stated to the still grinning boy. This was his way of telling her she wouldn’t be able to reason with him on this. It also meant she’d have to come with him, despite the feeling of dread that overcame her when thinking of sneaking out. She took two more bites of her mashed potatoes.

“Why should that stop us? Come on, it’ll be like old times. Doing everything we shouldn’t be doing at night.” He nudged her gently on her side with his elbow as if that would make her comply; instead, she just rolled her eyes and kept eating. He was relentless, she knew this by the way he stayed up late to focus on tasks, the way his hands would sometimes shake with excitement, the way his eyes brightened. She nodded finally, in agreement. “Good, I’ll pick you up at 9pm,” this seemed to widen his grin.

And the last two are the beloved twins <3

Vanadey (The Villain That Could)

She stopped in her tracks to see his right hand man in front of her. She gave him the most frightened eyes she could. “Someone must’ve put something in his coffee… he gave me some papers to deal with prior to his death. I’ll give you the copies.” She even added a wiping of invisible tears to reel him in, “I’m so sorry this happened, I should’ve done more.”

(Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss)

Cora (The Villain That Could)

After spending two weeks at Pane-Metso, Cora wasn’t getting any further in trying to track down the villain. She had settled on asking a few citizens, thinking they would’ve seen things that cameras from far away wouldn’t recognize. The only coherent and not average answer she got, was that the villain had a gold coin on them that they had flipped before going into a building. She assumed Darthropos might’ve been… superstitious, which is ironic all on its own. Flipping a coin didn’t matter much to Cora anyway, if she wanted to do something, she’d do it with no hesitation. Going for things as soon as she got a chance to, was how she got the things she wanted.

I'll be tagging (no pressure ofc!): @vcaudley, @indigoreed1, @hexi-eibhin, @lexiklecksi

[riallasheng]

Bingo tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! actively dislike them!! with a side order of what watch order do you use?

...WHY IS THE FIRST ONE THE HARDEST ONE?! ;;o;;

Fireball XL5: Zoonie. The only one that's easy. I LOATHE Zoonie (just as I did Mitch the Monkey). I wince every time Zoonie is on screen and was so glad when Zoonie was written out of the TV21 comics right away.

Stingray: ...Uh. Oh God. ...Can I choose Oink even though he was only in like one episode really? ...I'm gonna choose Oink, there is literally no one else I actively dislike (I just really hate the 'cute animal sidekicks' okay?!) If I can't count Oink then... uhhhh... Jordon, I guess. I don't hate him, but he was an asshole and a coward and there was a vibe that he was only flirting with Atlanta to 'get at' Troy (and he was rude to Marina and Phones as well as Troy)

Lady Penelope: (Yes, she never had her own SHOW but she had her own comic strip(s), her own comic MAGAZINE, and three really cool novels.  She totally counts for this!!)  ....Oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaan....  uhhhhhhh.   I can’t think of one.  The villians are fun (Steelman ROCKS), the support characters are fun (poor Lyon, someone must have cursed him off camera), and the lead characters are two of my all time favs from ANYTHING.  ...I find Lil the Chef a bit boring and sometimes a bit annoying in the ‘Perils of Parker’ comics?  I don’t dislike her though, just...  don’t like her as much.       TAG: Sherbet.   I refer to my above ‘I really tend to dislike the cute animal sidekick.  (Plus he’s part of the nerfing of Lady Penelope from badass spy on par with James Bond to basically the ‘kind social elite’ and that only - which was Penny’s MASK, not her true self.

Thunderbirds: ;;_;; Would Braman be cheating? ...Probably would. Dang it. She's only in one episode, but the Duchess of Royston I guess fits. She was rude and condensending and acted a fool, and she damn near got herself and Virgil killed... and then after all that she goes RIGHT BACK to her bad habits of gambling. Don't hate her, but closest I come to active dislike.       TAG: i know I'm in the minority here, but I ended up actively disliking Sally in TAG. I found her ranging between boring to grating and actively dislike the Grandma centric episodes on top of it.  I also disliked MAX a fair bit... again, I tend to dislike ‘cute animal non-verbal sidekicks’, I don’t like the overly childlike AI thing that seemed to be going on in TAG with MAX and EDOS, and the main issue is Brains interacted (by a LARGE margin) with Max more than any other characters, and I don’t want to watch Brains interacting with new support OC, I want to see Brains interacting with the Tracys!! :/       04 Film: hm.  None of the characters were particularly horrible.  The Hood & the two henchmen were decently fun, passably competent, and could be threatening when needed.  I actually adore Fermat and Brains, Penny and Parker were brilliant, Jeff was decent, John was fun, TinTin was fun, Alan got annoying but he still WORKED and was no more annoying than normal Alan XD...  I guess if I had to choose, the other brothers cause they pretty much didn’t EXIST and were very one dimensional.

Captain Scarlet: I don't think there is a character I actively dislike in the show. The bad guys are wonderfully fun to watch, the good guys are tons of fun, and even the one-offs tend to be, at worst, a bit bland. But if we take the comics into account, then World President Younger. The guy was something of an ass, very full of himself, and often being tricked by outside forces (he almost started a world war like three times, he's technically responsible for the Earth-Astran War, he's tricked into disbanding Spectrum...) I tend to dislike him because he's an IDIOT :/       nCS: oddly, this one is easy.  I actively dislike nMagenta and nDestiny - and on Destiny at least I know I am not alone as apparently the fanbase disliked the new version of the character enough that she was basically written out of the Series come Season 2.  (which is too bad, as I ADORE Magenta and Destiny in the og series.

==============

Edit:  I FORGOT THE SIDE ORDER THING =_=

Pretty much ALWAYS Production Order.  Sometimes there’s an episode or two I need to move AFTER switching to production order, but broadcast order can be something of a HOT MESS...  actually no it is a Hot Mess with few exceptions (actually the only two exceptions I can think of is nCS where the broadcast order overall worked better, and the Lady Penelope novels where having the 3rd novel as the middle works better overall).

In Fireball one go to example is that the Space Spys show up BEFORE THEY ARE INTRODUCED, among other smaller issues

In Thunderbirds you have some missions that have a ‘we’re still learning the ropes’ feel happen late in the run, and instances like Grandma showing up before her introduction, etc

Stingray is actually hit really hard by this in the SUBPLOTS.  In broadcast order you have Troy flipping back and forth between Atlanta and Marina right until the end, to the point that it could be considered cruel as he’ll have a flat out DATE with Marina then next episode be hanging out in Atlanta’s bedroom dancing the night away.   In production order all of the ‘Troy / Marina’ episodes are near the start, but it fades pretty fast and Troy is focused on Atlanta after.  There’s some other nice subplot and character arcs that work best in production order too

Captain Scarlet has major issues of characters and plots showing up before their introduction and the ‘Moon Base’ trilogy is wrecked by broadcast, plus one or two other ‘multi parters kinda’.

[minuy600]

The Big 1978 Review Catalog

Are you eager to see me tear Atari's dismal 2600 titles apart again or enjoy Space Invaders a bit TOO much? Good news for you, i'm back with another annual overview. Once again, i'm going from worst to best. Let's rock. Again.

The Worst

#14 Hunt & Score - Atari 2600

This is the worst game i've played so far, easily. The other 'easy to do at home' games I could somewhat excuse, as they are more convenient ways to play those. Concentration is boring. Especially in singleplayer.

#13 Space War - Atari 2600

What the f*ck am I playing. Singleplayer comes down to alligning your spaceship with a dot that moves erratically across the screen. That's literally all you do. Dooooon't bother.

The Bad

#12 Hangman - Atari 2600

If you like Hangman, it is JUST okay. Functionality does not equal quality. Multiplayer at least has the grace of letting you think of your own words, I know, truly crazy ideas this game has.

#11 Code Breaker - Atari 2600

What was the point of this? If you got even 2 dollars and 1 person to play with, there is ZERO purpose to this game in the catalogue. Good AI notwithstanding, I suppose.

#10 Home Run - Atari 2600

For a very quick bout of a very simplified version of a sport that did not have a lot of video games at this point in time, this suffices well enough. Still bad, but I can appreciate how dumb it is, you know?

#09 Flag Capture - Atari 2600

This is a very meagre game. The fun factor is still there, but only for a quick bout or two. Even in 1978, there were maaaany games that could last you much longer with simple gameplay.

The Mid

#08 Brain Games - Atari 2600

Ehhhh, decent variety, ho-hum execution. All games are done within a very short time span, most only give you 5 problems to deal with before it is over- so that makes some of them last literal seconds. Overall, only Add-Me is genuinely cool to me, the rest are passable.

#07 Avalanche - Arcade

Remember Kaboom? This is the game that that was ripped off of. It's weird, it did suck me in even if it wasn't particularly enjoyable. Play it on Switch and you'll more or less weep.

#06 Sky Diver - Arcade

I can somewhat vibe with this. It's a slim concept, but much like Canyon Bomber, timing-based gameplay is not too bad for me. It seems all this sound engine can do is make awful squealing noises that are supposed to replicate a falling object.

#05 Outlaw - Atari 2600

Yep that sure is another 1v1 shooter. It's fiiiiine. Though you really need the multiplayer if you're gonna enjoy it. Singleplayer is JUST target practice. Hey, it beats Combat not having any singleplayer at all.

#04 Basketball - Atari 2600

I think that this game is better than the basketball mode on Video Olympics, but not by enough to make it worth the plunge over that in my opinion. There's just too little on offer, unfortunately.

#03 Breakout - Atari 2600

It deserves somewhat high remarks as it did enough spice up AND ease up the formula. If the 2600+ paddle controller is as good as it sounds, surely it'll lift this game up into Bronze Award territory.

The Bronze Awards

#02 Super Breakout - Arcade

Color me surprised, I actually think this is a good fun time. Breakout is not a game that is super exciting anymore, but you bet Atari tried their damndest to make this the definitive package of the genre without additional gimmicks. Even the controls sorta work this time!

The Gold Awards

#01 Space Invaders - Arcade

The first game to have a strategy guide? Check. The first game that gradually gets more difficult as you complete stages? Check. The first game to cause a huge uproar in Japan because of how everyone wanted to play it? Check check. Taito really could not have 'landed' any better.

Final Remarks

If Space Invaders didn't exist... we all still would be here but probably slightly less happy. Geez. One release basically lifted a terrible year for video games to a crucial one. Other than Atari releasing two good Breakout versions, there is nothing in here that you could desire to play outside of nostalgic reasons anymore. It sucks, but that is how early video game history goes.

The list of games with less than a 3/10 won't be super huge past this point as the general quality of games will pretty much automatically improve over time. Hunt & Score and Space War join Basic Math as the 3 horsemen of the apocalypse, but it may take a while before we see the 4th one rear it's ugly head. I have a hunch about what game it is, though no guarantees it'll actually be as bad as THOSE.

As mentioned before, i'll now take a break to focus on beating the latter releases of 1979, which do get more elaborate than anything we've seen now, and get back to you all then. The first half of the year shouldn't take too long to sift through at least.

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

[wasabito]

➽ impatient collab masterlist — hosted by the lovely @ultimate-astridwriting

➽ words: 1.0k

➽ prompt: “really? you wanna have sex... here? now?”

➽ cw/tags: heavy-petting, fingering, nipple play, pet names, established relationship & fun times in a public gym lol

Shouta Aizawa was the last person anyone would’ve called impulsive. He was a straight-laced man after all. It wasn’t in his nature to do things unpremeditated. Things were always planned out to the letter and executed with the utmost precision. A fact that held true even as he continued his career as a pro-hero and eventually a teacher at his alma mater. 

Nearly everything about him, down to the socks he wore each morning, was deliberate and intentional. 

However, life was fickle in contrast; realistically speaking, nothing really ever went according to plan. Sometimes, one had to learn the beauty of improvising.

Which was exactly what he was doing, lips locked with yours, two fingers knuckles deep in your cunt. Let no person say that Aizawa couldn’t be spontaneous when given the perfect opportunity, because that simply wasn’t true.

“Really? You wanna have sex…. here? Now?”

You had sounded so surprised, unsure even, when he first broached the topic. It was a novelty he was not accustomed to.

The 24-hour gym facility the two of you had discovered was somewhat of a hole-in-the-wall. Perfect for a hero like him who wasn’t fond of being accosted by civilians (though that was rare). You both had so much energy left to burn even after a full day's events, what better way to do so than with brazilian calisthenics. 

Who cared if it was well past midnight?

He kept his gaze on you nearly the entire time. With every twist and turn of your body, Aizawa felt his mouth go dry. The way sweat licked at your skin, glistening under the bright lights. The way your gym clothes clung to your body like second skin. Every move you made seemed to douse his libido in gasoline.

Forty minutes into the workout, and you had begun to breathe heavy. You bent over to stretch, perky ass tooted in the air—Aizawa would’ve accused you of teasing him if he hadn’t known any better. You looked about ready to topple over, there was no faking that.

“Let’s hit the showers before you pass out.” he said while he toweled off his neck. “If you faint, I won’t bother dragging your butt all the way home.”

You had pouted softly before taking a sip from his bottle. “So mean…anyway, I feel gross so there’s no need for empty threats.”

Grabbing your gym bag, you headed towards the communal showers, completely unaware of the downright debauched look your boyfriend was giving you while he silently followed behind. 

Despite your initial confusion, persuading you hadn’t been hard at all. You merely smirked, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as your fingers made quick work of his shirt, tossing the hindrance overhead. You’d backed yourself into a corner of a random shower cubicle with him in tow, providing yourselves with a barely passable amount of cover. 

“I really wanna ask what’s gotten into you, Shou. But whatever it is, I think I’m diggin’ it.”

Aizawa gave nothing more than a groan as you palmed his growing erection, wondering how long he had been enduring the strain in his pants. He had little to worry about though, you were intent on taking care of him.

You tugged on his waistband, and at the same time, he fumbled with the straps of your sports bra. 

“Here, let me.” Grinning wickedly, you pulled it off in one fluid motion. Your breasts were free for only a second before Aizawa had them in his hands, squeezing lightly and peppering them with kisses. 

It was a good thing the entire facility was empty. At almost two in the morning, the chances of you being interrupted was negligible. 

Aizawa’s tongue darted past his lips to lick and suck at your pert nipples. He rolled each one with his tongue, giving equal attention to both. All the while, you grinded into his bare thigh, desperate for some form of friction. Slowly, methodically, he kissed his way up your collarbone and neck until his lips were just shy of your ear. “Need a hand?”

You shivered and nodded.

Getting your leggings off was no great feat, but the strength to keep his shit together in the face of your naked body—now that required mental fortitude. You reached for him again, stroking him slowly, loving the way he panted in your ear. His calloused fingers had already slid between your thighs, prodding you. Soon enough he was slipping a single finger in, then another right after that.

“O-Oh, right there,” you breathed, backed against the cold tiled walls. “God—I can’t believe I let you talk me into this—” Your words were cut short by a moan falling from your lips.

“Oh, kitten~ you’re so cute, making those sounds for me. You can relax; I’ve got you.” 

At the sound of his rumbling voice, you felt as if butterflies had been set loose in your stomach. Though you could barely make out anything more with the way your heart was pounding in your ears. The fingers he had in you crooked, pressing against a specific bundle of nerves that had you quite literally seeing stars.

“Fuck, Shou—don-don’t stop.” You felt yourself tense against him, fingers digging into his shoulder blade. Your legs were like jelly, but thankfully, Aizawa held you flush against him. With your breasts pinned against his chest, and his fingers pumping in out of you, your attention was divided. You didn’t know what to focus on, except the fire burning under your skin. 

Aizawa pressed firm kisses along your jawline, trailing up until his lips were stitched with yours in a searing kiss. “Such a pretty kitty,” he whispered against your bottom lip. “Look at how wet you are. This all for me?”

You wanted to respond. But a half-second later, you both were shot with a spray of ice cold water, causing you to yelp, scrabbling further into Aizawa's fumbling arms.

“Shit—” 

“They’re automatic!” You squeaked. 

Apparently, the shower head that hung over the two of you was motion sensitive. And sadly, you had taken the brunt of it, leaving you chilly and shivering, your lust momentarily mollified.

Aizawa pushed his hair back with a sigh. “Guess we’ll have to finish this at home...any objections?”

With a pout, you crossed both arms around his neck, leaning your weight on his sturdier frame. Maybe you could get some of his body heat too.

“Not really… so long as you don’t fall asleep on me, ya bum.”

Your only consolation was a chuckle from him as he wrapped an arm around your hips.

“Trust me, I won’t. Not until I wear you out at least.”

You’d just have to hold him to that promise.

[misnomera]

On racial stereotyping of the Haans in TMA...

Right so as someone who is ethnically Chinese I have NO FUCKING clue how I didn’t notice this more distinctly in my initial binge of tma (going too fast and not paying closer attention to character names and descriptions, probably) but the Haan family storyline is, all horror elements aside, pretty fucked up in terms of racial representation re: stereotyping. This got long as hell, but please please please take a moment to read through if you’ve got time for it. thanks.

To start off, the Haans are one of the few characters in tma with an explicitly specified race and ethnicity—Chinese—and pretty much the only explicitly Chinese characters in tma, other than the mostly unimportant librarian (Zhang Xiaoling) from Beijing. But like, Haan isn’t even a properly Chinese surname, at least not in the way that it’s spelled in canon (it should be Han, one a. A quick google search tells me that Haan as a surname has...Dutch origins??).

Of course, that could be chalked up to shoddy anglicization processes within family histories, which certainly isn’t uncommon with immigrant families, so I’m not going to dwell on names too much (although I also find it interesting that John Haan’s name is so specifically and weirdly anglicized that he changed his own surname?? Hun Yung to John Haan is a very big leap of a name change and frankly not very believable. ANYWAY, this is not that important. I don’t expect Jonny, a white Englishman, to come up with perfectly unquestionable non-Cho-Chang-like Chinese names, though it certainly would be nice. Moving on).

What really bothers me about the Haans is how they almost exclusively and explicitly play into negative Chinese immigrant stereotypes. I don’t even feel like I need to say it because it’s like...it’s literally Right There, folks. John Haan (in ep 72) owns and operates a sketchy takeout restaurant. They’re all avatars of the Flesh—and John Haan is Specifically horrific and terrifying because he cooked his wife’s human meat and fed it to his unknowing customers. Does that remind you of any stereotypes which accuse Chinese people of consuming societally unacceptable and ethically questionable things like dog/cat/bat meat (which, if it’s not already crystal fucking clear, we don’t. do that.), which in turn characterize us as horrible unfeeling monsters? John Haan’s characterization feeds (haha, badum tss) directly into this harmful stereotype that have caused very real pain for Chinese people and East Asians in general. 

And Jonny does nothing to address that from within his writing (and not out of it either). And, speaking on a more meta level, Jonny could’ve easily had these flesh avatars be individuals of any race (like, what’s Jared Hopworth’s ethnicity? Do we know? No? Well then). Conversely, he could’ve easily, easily had a Chinese person be an avatar of any other entity. So why did he have to chose specifically the Flesh?

(This is a rhetorical question. You know why. Racial stereotyping and invoking a fear of the other in an attempt to enhance horror, babey~)

On Tom Haan’s side, Jonny seems weirdly intent on having other characters repeatedly comment on his accent (or rather, lack thereof) in relation to his race. Think about how, in ep 30 (killing floor), the fact that Tom Haan had spoken a line to the statement giver in “perfect English” was an emphasized beat in that statement, and a beat that was supposed to be “chilling” and meant to signify to us that something was, quote-unquote, “not right” with Tom Haan. Implicitly, that’s saying that it was unexpected, not “normal”, and in this case even eerie, for someone who looks Chinese to have spoken in fluid, unbroken English. Mind you, the line itself was perfectly scary on its own (“you cannot stop the slaughter by closing the door”), so why did Jonny feel the need to note the accent in which it was spoken in? Why did Jonny HAVE to have that statement giver note, that he initially “wasn’t even sure how much English [Haan] spoke”? 

This happens again in episode 72 with a Chinese man (and again, his ethnicity is Explicitly Noted) who we assume is also Tom Haan. This one is rather ironically funny and kind of painfully self aware, because the statement giver expresses surprise at Haan’s “crisp RP accent” and then immediately “felt bad about making the assumption that he couldn’t speak English,” and subsequently admitted that thought was “low-key racist.” Like, from a writing perspective, this entire passage is roundabout, pointless, and says absolutely nothing helpful to enhance the horror genre experience for listeners (instead it just sounded like some sort of half-assed excuse so Jonny or other listeners could say “look! We’ve addressed the racism!” You didn’t. It just made me vaguely uncomfortable). And again, having other people comment on our accents/lack thereof while assuming we are foreign is a Very Real microaggression that east asians face on the daily. If Jonny needed some filler sentences for pacing he could’ve written about Literally anything else. So why point out, yet again, that the crazy murderous man was foreign and Chinese? 

At this point, you might say, right, but yknow, it was just that the statement givers were kind of racist! It happens! Yeah sure, ok, that’s a passable in-universe explanation for descriptions of Tom Haan (though not John Haan, mind you), but the statement givers are fake made up people, and statement’s still written by Jonny, who absolutely has all the power to write overt discrimination out of his stories. And he does! Think about just how many minor (and major!!) characters are so, so carefully written as completely aracial, and do not have their ethnicity implicated at all in whatever horrors they may or may not be committing. Think about how many lgbtq+ characters have given statements, and have been in statements, without having faced direct forms of discrimination, or portrayed as embodying blatant stereotypes in their stories (though lgbtq+ rep in tma certainly has their own issues that I won’t go into here). Jonny can clearly write characters this way, and he can do it well. So why, why, am I being constantly, repeatedly reminded in-text of the fact that the Haans are East Asian, that they’re from China, that they’re Chinese immigrants, that they’re second-generation British Chinese or whatever the fuck, and that they’re also horrifying conduits for blood, gore, and general fucked-up-ness? It’s absolutely not something that is Needed for the stories to be an effective piece of horror; the only thing it does is perpetuate incredibly harmful and hurtful stereotypes.

And listen, I love tma to bits. It’s taken over my blog. I’ve really loved my interactions with the fandom. And I am consistently blown away by Jonny’s writing and how well he’s able to weave foreshadowing and plot into an incredibly complex collection of stories. But I absolutely Cannot stop thinking about the Haans because it’s just. It’s such a blatant display of racial stereotyping in writing. And I’ve certainly seen a few voices talking about it here and there, and I don’t know if I’m just not looking in the right places, but it certainly feels like something that is just straight up not on the radar for a lot of tma fans. And I’m disappointed about that. 

Just, I don’t know. Take a look at those episodes again and do some of your own thinking about why these characters had to be specifically Chinese (answer: they didn’t.). And in general, PLEASE for the love of god turn a critical eye on character portrayals and descriptions whenever they are assigned specific races/ethnicities (Some examples that come to mind are Jude Perry, Annabelle Cane, and Diego Molina), because similar issues, to an extent, extend beyond the Haans, though I haven’t covered them here. 

You shouldn’t need a POC to do point out these problems for you when they’re so glaringly There. But for those of you who really didn’t know, hope this was informative in some way. I’m tired, man. If some of the only significant Chinese characters you write are violent cannibalistic men with a perverted relationship with meat, just don’t do it. Please don’t do it. 

EDIT: Since the making of this post Jonny has acknowledged and apologized for these portrayals on his twitter and in the Rusty Quill Operations Update, which went up September 2020. A long time coming, but better late than never. This of course doesn’t necessarily negate the harm done by Jonny’s writing, and doesn’t make me much less angry about it, but is appreciated nonetheless. For more on this topic there’s a lot of productive discussions happening in my “#tma crit” tag and in the notes of this post