#and also calling her a liar??? there's a fucking video do you have no shame

[whydoeseveryonehavetobelesbian]

i don't know if you guys have been keeping up with the women's world cup but this past sunday spain won against england. and you would think this would be the best moment of their careers and their lives but you wanna know what happened?

the spanish football federation's president non-consensually kissed one of the players, jenni hermoso, on the mouth when they were celebrating. this grown ass man took it upon himself to ruin the celebration for ALL the women who just achieved the thing they have been preparing for all their lives, literally the peak of a football player's career, they did it and he by himself ruined it.

and i say all the women because the other players, along 58 currently inactive and ex-players, stood up for jenni hermoso and have refused to play for the team until luis rubiales publicly apologizes and renounces his spot. now the rfef says they'll take legal action against the players and jenni for lying and because they have an obligation to play for the team.

do you remember how the men's world cup celebrations went? i do, im from argentina. no one said anything to any of the players, they were treated like kings for months and they are worshipped to this day. and rightfully so! they earned it i guess. but we do see the discrepancy?

how is it that we allow as a society for one man to sexually assault a woman right after achieving the thing another group of men got ceaselessly venerated for not even a year later? what do women have to do to earn respect? win the world cup? become the pride and joy of their country?

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

x. what a shame she's fucked in the head.

— the one where they tell you what your word is worth.

❝𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦❞ —𝘛𝘢𝘺𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘵, 𝘊𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵.

warnings: abuse downplay, bashing towards taylor swift (i obviously adore her pls don't come for me haha), online bullying, new york inaccuracies, corny taylor references per usual, etc. 2k words + articles

in my head there's a mix of begin again and cornelia street playing as background music.

masterlist ✢ next

NO one likes a mad woman, but not for the reasons Taylor Swift made you believe in the lyrics of her 2020 song. Although we are definitely afraid y/n might get 'more crazy'.

Honestly, who gave her the right to speak like that about Aidan Kim? As it turns out, the three-year relationships she willingly stayed on was a 'dead-end' one, and Aidan "abused" (and I cannot stress the quotations enough) her through several stages of their shared time.

Well, I call bullshit.

How is it that after Aidan Kim helped her build whatever she has going on that people call a 'career' she wasn't bothered about being told 'how to look and how to act' (direct quote from her own video, by the way).

Breaking up with your sneaky link and calling him your friend won't save what you did before, y/n, it's the oldes trick in the book. Everything she said in her Youtube video, one I regretfully watched despite the knowledge that I won't get those 45 minutes of my life back, is rehearsed and calculated and just tried to paint the real victims in a bad light.

Playing the victim worked for Taylor Swift in 2009, 2017, 2019... but we surely won't let it happen again, right folks? y/n needs a new tactic to crawl back from the hell, because we're not believing anything that comes out of her mouth anymore.

It's true what they say, an untalented actress makes an untalented liar.

By Lia Yim

Victoria Presley is worried about best friend's y/n y/ln's well-being after the actress 'completely ghosted her' since moving back to New York.

"One day we were fine and the next, she had packed her bags and left my house," Presley said in an exclusive interview with iNTouch. "I'm not going to lie, I was deeply hurt by her actions. I offered her my home as a safe haven and she left without explanation."

y/n had been living in Victorias Los Angeles home since mid-February until this month when she returned to her infamous SoHo apartment, one she shared with Aidan Kim until their breakup.

"I can find it in my heart to forgive her, of course," 'Vic', as she's known on social media, added. "Right now, I just want my best friend back. I want the y/n I've known for years and not this person she became since Matilde Bassi and Charles Leclerc inserted themselves in her life."

Victoria Presley, the founder and CEO of Presley Beauty, is the daughter of Luke Presley and Claire Walker and has been in the influencing business for a few years now.

"If y/n ends up reading this, I want her to know that I will support her decisions but not in the way her new 'friends' are doing. I just want what's best for her."

SEE ALSO:

→ Vic Presley on having to start from zero: "I'm not a nepobaby!"

→ A look inside y/n's SoHo apartment, the one Aidan Kim paid for.

→ Is Charles Leclerc's career going downhill thanks to y/n?

By Beatrice Mann

With y/n y/ln's latest controversy, the whole world has turned their backs on the actress. But, is it really that bad? Or is it just because she's a woman in the business?

The online community's hottest topic is y/n's Youtube video where she speaks on her relationship with Aidan Kim, her friendship with Charles Leclerc and, most importantly, how all of this has affected her career. And I want to tell you all, y/n is right.

If the roles were reversed, Aidan Kim would be thriving on a newly unlocked 'Heartbreaker' persona and y/n would still be constantly humiliated for not being 'wife material'.

I believe y/n deserves much better than what she's getting. The woman admitted she escaped a relationship where her partner LAUGHED at her and manipulated her actions for his comfort. And people are still siding with the man? Seriously, people, use your brains and dig up your morals!

The only thing we're communicating to younger generations by constantly doubting women's words and putting them in the spotlight for standing up for themselves, is that only men's words are worth something.

June 14th, Manhattan, New York.

It isn't much of a surprise when Charles calls you while you're trying to get your Moka pot to work that morning. It's your third attempt at it and the previous mornings you've left it alone with tears in your eyes to walk down the street and get Starbucks coffee. You might be a little too attached to that coffee maker.

Charles got to New York city the previous night, and reminded you that you promised to show him around more than once. You intended to keep your promise, thinking you would have more time before the day came.

But as you walk to the restaurant where you decided to meet him, you can't help but think how exciting it is that you get to show the city you love so much to Charles. And just like that morning in Monaco, you can't help but remind yourself that this is a friendly get-together.

Charles has slowly, but surely, become one of your closest friends in the middle of the frenzy that your life is. With your ex-best friend saying you walked out on her and your failed fiancé insisting that it was you, who acted like a 'total psychopath' towards the end of your relationship, you have more fingers than people you can count on.

You watch him carefully as he smooths the napkin on his legs twice and then drops in on the table again, fidgeting with the loose threads in the corner.

Your wristwatch says it's 10:00 am, which is the exact time you agreed to meet. You wonder how long he's been waiting if there's an empty cup of coffee in front of him.

"You know, it's also rude to be too early for a meeting," you say as a form of greeting once you approach the table.

This startles him enough to drop the napkin on his lap again, proceeding to scramble to return it to the table before pushing his chair out to get up.

You chuckle, but before you can say you were joking, Charles is engulfing you in a hug. Your stomach flutters because of the way he holds the back of your head with his palm. It feels like you're being reunited after months instead of just two weeks. Time doesn't feel real sometimes, you would know.

"Soleil!" he says excitedly, putting his hands on your shoulders. "It's so good to see you,"

"It's nice to see you too, Charlie."

There's the nickname again. You've tried not to think too hard about it. Is it a European thing to call your friends that? When you asked him about it the last time he called before taking his flight to New York, his response was a simple 'it suits you'.

Charles pulls your chair for you and grabs your purse to place it on the empty chair between you two. He grabs his napkin again, pulling one last time on a thread before smoothing it down and forgetting about it.

"How are you?" Charles asks, a bright smile on his face. It falters in a barely perceptible way because he doesn't want to give you bad thoughts, which seem to come automatically every time the question is asked.

"Well, I'm okay," you assure in a soothing tone, "Still looking for jobs. And you?"

"Alright. Lots of work in the simulator and I'm hoping this is a good weekend,"

"Are you sure you'll be okay getting to Montreal tomorrow?" you smile at the waitress that approaches your table, "Can I have some coffee, please?"

"Of course," Charles assures, with a gesture of his hand. He's getting to Montreal at seven in the morning and running straight to his motorhome. "There's time for everything."

"What do you want to do, then?"

You don't want to exhaust him by showing him around New York, he has a long weekend ahead. To be honest, you really wonder what compelled him to make this stop instead of going straight to Canada. Sure you had talked about him coming to New York, eventually. Not a day before he had to start his Grand Prix weekend.

"Anything you want us to do," he replies, the single-dimpled smile on his face. "I'm open to anything."

"MoMA? Central Park? Something not so touristy?" you suggest, before thanking the waitress as she places a hot cup of coffee on the table.

"Just show me the places you like, y/n, don't stress about it." Charles laughs, eyes returning to the open menu in front of him. "I only care about hanging out with you."

"Thanks," is all you manage to say as you sip the scalding coffee, you do your best not to wince as it burns your tongue and down your throat. "Let's do it then."

"So, what do you think? Everything you expected and more?"

You're taking a walk in Central Park after Charles agreed to see the Alice in Wonderland statue. It's a warm morning in New York and although you haven't been walking around for that long, Charles seems content enough with what he's seen.

"It's very... you," Charles replies, and you're sure he means it as a compliment, but New York can be really ugly too. "In a good way!" he adds when he sees your expression.

"Thank you, Charlie." you laugh again. It's easy being with Charles, laughing with sincerity and really being in what's happening in the moment.

You didn't lie when you said you weren't afraid of speaking up anymore, but the dread of actually doing it is inevitable. Your words are being twisted and marked as false because Aidan is far 'more loved' than you are. Not to mention Victoria's interview about your lack of reciprocity to her humble feelings

You're still thinking about suing her. But it hurts to know that she was your best friend a week ago.

A few people stop you both to ask for pictures and autographs on the back of phone cases. A few of them ignore you, others smile politely at Charles before asking him to take their picture with you.

"I'm really polishing my photographing skills," Charles jokes as you walk away from a group of young girls who gush about how much they wish they could dress like you.

"Sorry if it bothers you," you whisper, looking at him only from the corner of your eye.

"Of course not, y/n. They ask nicely, and you're okay with it." he shrugs.

There was one time when a teenager, around fourteen or fifteeen, asked Aidan if he could please take a picture of her and yourself. It was an innocent question, she had already acknowledged him as 'that guy from Star-5' and how he'd been in Supercut with you.

But just by the way you saw his expression change, you told the girl a selfie was a better option, you would hold the phone yourself if she was okay with it.

You didn't hear the end of it for the rest of night. Aidan berated your career for the first time of many, saying it was frankly offensive that he’d been treated that way. It didn't matter that you told him the girl was barely a teen and she hadn't been rude. Still, he was more famous than you, he didn't deserve to be made felt like the opposite.

"What are you thinking?" Charles asks, touching your shoulder gently to make you pause your walk.

You really don't want to admit you were thinking about your ex-boyfriend. Not that it matters, Charles knows you think about Aidan often in a mostly negative light, but it feels weird to say it here. So you shrug and sigh. "I wish I thought of nothing, to be honest."

Charles squeezes your shoulder in a half hug. He doesn't push your boundaries, although he wishes he knew what was actually going through your mind.

─────────

It's when you two are having dinner in a restaurant in SoHo that Charles asks the question that has been eating him away since he landed in New York the previous night.

"Do you want to come to Canada with me?"

"Am I not blacklisted from the paddock?" you tease, although Elix is gone. You wonder if Ferrari people blame you a little bit for their sponsor dropping them.

"Absolutely not," Charles frowns, "And you would be my guest, you get to be in the Ferrari Suite like always."

"Thank you, Charlie–"

Charles tries not to seem disappointed as he waits for the 'but' to follow, so he drinks from his wine.

"—but I have some back to back things to do this weekend," you do regret not being able to make it, you loved the few Grand Prix you were able to attend and you would love to see Carlos too. But you have booked a few interviews with people who, more than anything want to consume gossip, but have disguised it as 'letting you tell your truth in more depth'. You cannot back down from what you started.

"That's okay," he assures with a quick wink. "You know you can come to races whenever you want to, though, right?"

"I can?" you raise both eyebrows and Charles rolls his eyes. "The benefits of having a Ferrari driver as a friend. I should have befriended you sooner."

"Very funny," he says as he hides his smile behind his glass of wine again. "Do I get invited to the Red Carpets?"

"You kind of befriended me at the downfall of my career. It's going to take a while for you to be on a Red Carpet."

Charles clicks his tongue and shakes his head. "You're only just getting started, soleil. Don't say that."

You hope he's right, because you have castings lined-up for next week too and you don't want to call him, or Mati, or your mom, crying about how unwanted you feel.

You shrug, drinking from your own wine.

"I'm being serious, y/n," Charles' tone is stern for a moment, yet not aggressive. "You have a lot of wonderful things to do in the future."

"Yeah, thanks." you dislike yourself for ruining the mood yet again, but Charles isn't bothered as he smiles at you once again.

"I mean it,"

He does, and so does Mati, and your mom. You are bound for great things, although they're taking time to find you right now.

"I know. Thank you Charlie, you're very kind. I hope you have a good race this weekend."

Charles huffs. "Yes, me too. Wish me luck?"

"I feel like I jinx you more than help you, Charlie."

"You didn't wish me luck in Spain, look how that went," he fakes a shudder and you snort. You hated every minute spent in Spain after FP3.

"Good luck, you'll do great." You pat the hand that he keeps on top of the table a couple times and before you can take your hand back, he grabs it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Your heart races and you take a deep, sharp breath, like that would help it go back to normal. You have tried not to overanalyze everything about today, from the way Charles looked to the words he said, to the way your body responded to it. You don't want to go down that specific spiral.

"Thanks for stopping by," you take your hand back and keep it busy with your almost empty glass of wine. The alcohol has turned your cheeks warm. "You really want to see New York, huh?"

"I really wanted to see you," Charles replies, nonchalantly.

And you know you'll be spiraling, despite your best efforts.

─── team principal radio: ❝thanks for reading! also thank you so so so much because last chapter got to 1k+ interactions and i was beyond shocked!! it means a lot that you're enjoying delicate!♡❞

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[catbountry]

One of these days I'm gonna get completely zonked and write out an entire fucking essay on why Mister Metokur sucks and I don't like him, but I feel like I could just say "he kickstarted the internet dumpster fire that was GamerGate" and have justified my position completely.

So fucking tired of orbiting communities that talk about internet weirdos/drama and seeing creators kiss the fucking ring of some guy just because he's got a voice for radio and surrounds himself with people who are stupider than he is so he can toss them aside as soon as they inevitably do some stupid bullshit that he can make fun of and feel justified in doing so, like Sargon of Akkad and Ethan Ralph, all while lamenting that internet culture has changed since the 2000's and people on the internet like furries now more than they like otaku.

Oh yeah and he's using James Somerton's suicide note as an opportunity to expose Hbomberguy for shit he did nearly two decades ago and shame him for "troll's remorse." If I didn't highly suspect that this is another ploy by James to manipulate people into feeling sorry for him, I'd probably be more disgusted, but it proves this man just operates on pure spite. Like yeah, I get it, overly-performative troll's remorse is fucking cringe, but you're on a podcast with Null making jokes about "stinkditches" and saying unambiguously racist shit while laughing (in a video conveniently deleted from YouTube from September 17th, 2022). And if it weren't for Jim's army of asskissers, I'd probably be way more open about this sort of thing. But who's even reading my Tumblr at this point anyway?

The first time I remember being alarmed by him was that video he did on that creepy pedo who looked at photos of kids in bathtubs, and he was in a call with this guy and some girl said pedo was friends with, and Jim lost his patience and called her a "hole" and to shut up. People kiss Metokur's ass over this video. I don't even know if any action, criminal or otherwise, was taken against the dude and it was just an exercise in lording not being a pedophile over some deeply disturbed guy who probably had some kind of mental disability.

I am pretty much always going to have a fixation on strange internet people, internet drama, and horrifying nightmare people given unrestricted internet access. This is a character flaw of mine. I have tried to view these people more fairly in recent years, though to be honest, there's quite a few of them that are pretty goddamn hard to feel sorry for. But I also recognize a lot of my fascination was probably, at least partially, trollshielding; if I join in with the people making fun of these people, that means I won't be a target. It was a survival strategy learned from childhood and I'm not proud of it. But I also can't do the full troll's remorse because some of those people I talked shit about really were awful people. That doesn't make it okay when I would be snarky and judgemental towards people that didn't deserve it. Trying to stop a pedophile or helping shed light on a zoosadism ring doesn't make you a good person because even bigots hate pedos and people that torture animals. Congratulations on having the faintest resemblance of a conscience, it'd be nice if you could show that same outrage on behalf of black people and trans women. But we know you ain't doin' that.

Also I swear to god if somebody refers to him as "daddy Jim" and they're not taking the piss I'm gonna give them such a pinch.

P.S. James is very likely alive, btw. Who could have seen the serial liar and manipulator telling lies and emotionally manipulating people?

[terramythos]

Top 5 favorite female characters? Top 5 books/movies/video games coming out in the future that you're excited for?

Thanks for the asks Wiz! 😘

Favorite Female Characters:

1. Akane Kurashiki from Zero Escape - surprising absolutely no one, she makes me go completely insane at all times and I've thought about her every day since I played 999 a decade ago. She is such a genuine surprise and a compelling character, there are so many layers and analyses one can have about her. Deception, narrative, fate, humanity vs godhood, thoughts shaping reality, etc etc etc. Blorbo In Chief.

2. Venat from Final Fantasy XIV - A very recent addition and I'm avoiding advanced story spoilers, but for a character that's technically introduced early but has the bulk of her development towards the end of Endwalker, I was very impressed with how well the writers pulled this character off. If you told me 2 years ago that she'd be on this list I'd call you a liar, but holy shit. They give her the coolest fucking cutscene in the entire game, no contest, which is in itself impressive, but her monologue and how it thematically connects to the story, lore, AND THEME SONG???? seals the deal. She also makes me go insane.

3. Midna from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - I think Midna is one of the most complex and compelling characters in Zelda, I love her character growth and how her relationship with Link changes over the course of the game. She seems uncaring and cruel toward the beginning and grows more compassionate-- a well known arc, but I like how here it's a mix of facade and genuine growth. I think it's a damn shame they haven't explored Midna or the Twili in subsequent entries, I think she fully deserves to join the core three, triforce or no.

4. The Luidaeg from October Daye - God there are so many layers to this character. Her genuine tragedy, cruelty, and compassion are a highlight of the series and one of the things that keeps drawing me back in. Her different faces and relationships with each character and how that ties thematically to her protean nature... chef's kiss. She's a terrifying, vengeful force of nature older than time itself, but also a protector and guardian of the helpless, but also just a woman and mother who has been deeply wronged time and again. God I could go on for hours about her. She steals every scene she's in and I look forward to seeing her every book.

5. The Psychologist from The Southern Reach - I debated putting her here, but she is a fascinating example of narrative limitation. She goes from a stock villain in the first book (the biologist's interpretation), to an obsessive weirdo in the second book (Control's interpretation). In the third book we finally get her full story and perspective and learn what a fundamental character she is to the whole series. I find her fascinating in how much she shapes the narrative and events of the story despite being killed off early in the first book-- and just how wrong both the biologist and Control are about her.

Top Things I'm Excited For

1. System Collapse (next murderbot novel). I'm SO glad it's a full novel again, Network Effect was incredibe.

2. The "A Wonderful Life" remake for Story of Seasons. I liked the Friends of Mineral Town remake so I'm glad they're doing another one. I spent so much time playing this on the GameCube and was soooo disappointed when the PS2 special edition was such an unplayable mess.

3. Shadow and Bone Season 2. I was skeptical but really liked the first season and think they nailed the casting.

4. These Violent Delights (next October Daye). Boy did the last book reel me back in. I'm wondering whether the Maeve reveal is going to happen this book or not, I'm so excited for it.

5. ??? I'm sure there's a fifth thing but I can't think of what :3

[thelittlemermage]

Hi, I literally have not watched Creepshow Art's videos in several years and I have NO IDEA what anything anyone is saying means. Could you explain it to me, please?

Oh boy, you better strap in.

So, popular art and commentary Youtuber Creepshow Art (also known as Shannon) was hit with some drama a few days ago when it was revealed that she had been posting on the lolcow forums for the past few years. For those who don't know, lolcow is basically 4chan but for drama? Just a general cesspool. Because Shannon cannot shut the fuck up about herself, and there are rules on the site against self-promo and also doxxing, when Shannon chose to dox HER OWN SIBLING'S TWITTER the admins de-anoned her and made public all of her posts over the years. It is known that people on these sites can easily pull your IP, so the fact that she was so reckless here....I have no words. But basically, she had been shit talking her close friends in the Youtube art community, as well as used slurs against LGBTQ people, made racist comments and fat shaming comments, and talked for and against herself, both of which could be considered fishing for attention for her channel. Now, this is a big fucking problem on it's own since she's the type to go hard for social justice issues, and has completely dragged others for doing less than she's done here.

And here's where she made the biggest mistake of her career. She didn't admit to it. She instead claimed her "stalker" Amy, a woman who has been harassing her for the past decade, spoofed her IP and has been posting on lolcow pretending to be her. Anonymously. On the off chance this would all one day be discovered. Over the course of 3 years. As she also created sock puppet accounts to have arguments with herself using different IPs. All very elaborate. And once again, this in itself is bad. But it's not this, but what this move led to that revealed more about Creepshow than anyone could have predicted.

Another Youtuber named Emily Artful dropped a 2 hour bomb of a video consisting of evidence she has compiled over the last 8 years, evidence that includes IP addresses. Shannon was dating, and is now married to, Emily's abusive ex. And they have been stalking and harassing her for 8 years. Like, they have nudes of her dating back to when she was a minor, they have called her place of work to get her fired, Shannon may have even became a YouTuber just to fuck with her, type stalking and harassing. The things Shannon and her husband have done to Emily over the course of YEARS is just insane. It goes beyond petty Youtube drama and has revealed that Creepshow Art is a fucking monster. And that's really scary considering how popular she was and how many people had contact with her. Though there were hints over the years (like how she drove someone by the name of Hopeless Peaches to attempt suicide). It's just...a lot.

Oh, and about Amy? Creepshow has made videos about her before. And now that Emily has come forward, it has not escaped people how eerily similar Shannon's stalker story is to what she was actually doing to Emily this whole time. It would appear that she was flipping the roles and putting this story out there to 1. garner sympathy because she likes attention and 2. create an environment where if Emily EVER came forward, she would be immediately called a liar because it would appear that she was copying Shannon's situation.

I never ended up watching a lot of Creepshow myself. She'd be in my recommendeds sometimes, so I have a passive idea of her. But something that really hit me was I knew from what I did watch that Shannon was previously homeless. She spoke of this a few times, and about how hard it was, and how this channel saved her. That was a lie. Her and her bf chose to be homeless for the sake of saving money on rent and for the sake of ~art~. She chose to be homeless and purposefully omitted that information from her audience to garner sympathy. Meanwhile, sending Emily's nudes to her place of work legitimately caused her to be homeless. It's just one of many pieces of a fucked up puzzle, but because it was one of the things I remembered about her, it really shocked me. I can't even imagine what the people who were actually friends with her or looked up to her are going through right now.

She has not made any videos or posts since then but has been deleting her social media and some of her videos like crazy. If there was any doubt that the accusations against her are true....innocent people don't hide and delete, do they? I'm curious what her next move will be when she comes back, because she surely will. Her whole life was online. But there's no coming back from this. She's an actual danger and it just goes to show you need to be careful with who you trust online. Being a big name Youtuber doesn't mean you're a good person behind the scenes.

There's a lot to this story I can't possibly address in one post so check out Emily Artful's video if you want. She's been putting up with a lot for almost a decade so maybe show her channel some love too.

[jellyfishinc]

Day 8

S1E7 Gift Rappers

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve finally reached the episode many of you have been waiting for, and it’s my turn to post about it.

And for the record, even if there weren’t any sibling moments, I would’ve made a post anyway, because it would’ve been a crime against the Warners not to.

The opening scene shows the Warners testing a catapult, and landing inside a set where they’re shooting for a music video.

Naturally, they have no idea who he is, even after he finishes rapping, and the audience fills him in. Jaypac La East, a self-proclaimed lyrical genius. (Jay-Z, Tupac, and Kanye West?)

Someone mentions he’s even objectively better than Shakespeare, and Yakko asks for confirmation.

The dumbass has the nerve to call Shakespeare a “sucker MC”, and we see THIS.

Obviously Yakko's reaction is golden, but see the look on Dot’s face right there? That’s a look that says, “Oh hun, you have no idea who you’re talking to, do you?.” 

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say Dot is well aware of Yakko’s love for Shakespeare, and has probably schooled her himself in the past when she tried to say the same thing.

The best part? This is all character continuity for Yakko, when you remember THIS from the original, when the narrator tried to suggest Yakko didn’t know what he was saying.

And before I dissect it, I’m just gonna share the whole Shakespeare rap, because...oh who am I kidding? Do I really need an excuse to share Yakko Warner, or Rob Paulsen, rapping Shakespeare?

I didn’t think so.

Now that we’ve had a moment to just sit back and appreciate Yakko’s theatrical genius, let’s break it down, shall we?

First off, of course Yakko Warner had a costume like that at the ready for something like this, because of course he fucking did.

Look at him!

Yakko starts playing the flute, and we see THIS from Dot and Wakko.

Makes me wonder if he’s ever played the flute for them to fall asleep to?

Next thing you know, we got this epic payoff of Yakko quoting Shakespeare throughout the whole verse.

And in case you wanted to know exactly which ones he was quoting, or if he was using them correctly, here you go:

“Alas, Poor Jay-Pac, I don’t know who you’re supposed to be” Hamlet, Act 5 Scene 1

“All the world’s a stage, but player, leave the stage to me.” As you like it, Act 2 Scene 7

“To rap or not to rap, that is the question.” Hamlet again, Act 3 Scene 1

“My boy Bill told us ‘pride cometh before the fall’” Richard II Act 5 Scene 5

“Else Yakk a liar call.” Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 5, Scene 1

Good enough on its own, right?

Wrong.

I was a wannabe theater kid, instead of an actual one, therefore I only know a little bit about how theater dynamics work, so forgive me if I get something wrong here:

If you’re going to be working with a partner, the thing that is stressed over and over is that whatever personal issues or drama you might have, leave it at the door, because the second you step on that stage together, you need to have 100% trust in the other person to have your back, so you can pull off something like this lift, because if you don’t, one or both of you is gonna get hurt.

That particular lift? Is the result of YEARS of trust and practicing lifts with each other, until they’ve perfected it to where they can do it within a second’s notice.

Jaypac goes next, and his first verse is to insult Dot and Wakko, and we see THIS.

And once he starts dissing the Marx brothers, they get up on stage, just in time to have the guy drop the mic on Yakko’s head.

Yakko’s up next, and Dot and Wakko get behind the DJ booth and camera for maximum effect.

Rob Paulsen, my hat is off to you, good sir, for spitting bars while also battling throat cancer, and having Yakko throwing out all kinds of references to both the original and the movie.

First there's a Wakko's Wish reference, which prompts THIS, which was also pointed out to me in another post, where apparently Wakko actually wasn’t saying this line, he was mouthing it alongside Yakko.

Then there’s THIS line, which is a reference to what their very first director Weed, said about Outback Buddy before bringing the Warners into it.

And by the end, Jaypac concedes, and of course Yakko, the little shit, can’t resist doing THIS just to mess with him.

Shoutout to all fans, who, like me, fell in love with rap battle themed episodes/segments because of the one in Regular show, and thus were stoked for this one.

Also, my sincerest apologies to Yakko himself for even thinking he could've possibly misquoted Shakespeare, when we all know damn well he'd do no such thing.

Shame on me!

This episode will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I can think of no better way to end this post than to just let our man of the hour, Yakko Warner, send it off right with now and forever the only acceptable way to drop the mic.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Christmas Specials: Fishcake

CW: Some hint of dehumanization and references to Bahram’s depression/past breakdown at the end, some brief emeto references, but really this is just fluff. Oh, also brief unintentional ableism that Miah calls out.

Introduction | Siren Song | Cries | Here | Not Sure | Draw Blood | Fish | Signs | Stop | Something New | Help | Please Don’t Let Me Drown  | Fish Food | Squeaky Toy | Fading | Fishcake

---

BAHRAM’S NOTES

December 24th, 20XX 11:15 pm Mer in Residence: 71 Days

Miah showed up tonight with a Christmas present for me, and now I feel like a giant dick for not having anything to give her. 

Christmas just isn’t a thing in my family. I mean, I have cousins who go overboard with it, kind of a fitting in thing, but my family never did. Baba does some kind of fast, but for Maman it’s just another day and for me it’s always meant mostly a day where I played video games all day because I didn’t have to be at school or work. 

Oh, I need to call Baba and Maman tomorrow, note to self. She always gets worried about me right around the end of the year, what with how they figured out I was quitting school and everything.

I guess getting a phone call from a hospital leaves a bloody impression.

Anyway, Miah comes in with this big shopping bag in her hand, waving at me all bright and sunny and cheerful. She set the bag down long enough to berate me for - she assumed - having not taken my medicine on time. 

For the record, she was right, but I didn’t tell her that.

Nearly drowning in saltwater made my lungs apparently terribly angry with me, so for the next eight days I’m on a run of antibiotics to handle a lovely case of bacterial pneumonia. Would’ve been far handier to get pneumonia right away, but instead I ended up in Urgent Care yesterday, paying 200 dollars and waiting two hours to see a doctor for less than ten minutes. 

Dr. L says she’ll reimburse me the cost, but still. 

Miah asked me how I was feeling, I said I felt fine, really, and then of course I had an awful coughing fit just to prove myself a wonderful liar. The coughing’s the worst part - every time I really get going, it’s like being underwater all over again. I can feel my lungs fighting to inflate, to take the air in, and I can hear how hard I’m working to get enough air to stop coughing at all. Miah can’t hear it, but she can see it all right, and she looked worried.

I signed, “I’m fine, it’ll stop, the doctor says it will,” and she frowned at me, but let it go, I guess. While she had her face turned away to greet the mer, I opened the pill bottle and dry-swallowed the meds really fast. Sometimes there are benefits to Miah not being able to hear things.

The mer - Kima, I can call him by his name in these notes, the ones only I see - was already at the side of the tank, watching us. He’s perked up a bit lately, since I started giving him live fish on the days Dr. L isn’t around and Miah brought him all these enrichment things. We’re doing what we can, but I know it’s still not enough.

Enough would be figuring out where his bloody family is and getting him back to them, but I just… I can’t even begin to explain, even to myself, the logistical nightmare of hauling a six-foot-long mer back to the ocean and finding someone who would take him back up north where his family likely is in the middle of bloody fucking December.

It’s the right thing to do, yeah.

But it’d just be too hard to pull off, not without losing… my whole taped-together life, yeah? Plus I’m still dealing with trying to figure out who exactly is my real employer at this point - who’s paying Dr. L - and what they want from the mer’s… thing he can do.

Miah glanced over at him and signed, “Don’t worry, I have something for you, too,” and Kima just looked back at her, head cocked to the side. She looked over at me and signed, “It’s a fish-cake.”

I have to admit, it took me a second to even begin to respond. My hands just… hung in mid-air, before finally I asked, “A what?”

“A fishcake. It’s like a fruitcake, but so much worse.” She leaned down to dig around in the big bag and pulled out a box, pausing to add, “I had to wrap it and box it or the car would have smelled horrible for days,” before she picked up and laid the box on my desk, opened it, took out something wrapped in layers of plastic, and unwrapped that, painstakingly slowly.

I glanced over at the mer, who watched with total fascination. Maybe he’d caught the sign for fish, he’s incredibly food-motivated. Which makes sense, of course, probably with his pod he’d spend a lot of his day eating and hunting for more, but

Bahram. Focus.

She was right - as soon as the plastic came off, I could smell it. 

“How can you handle that? Isn’t your sense of smell… really good?” Ah, yes, I am always so proud of myself when I forget a sign for a word I want to say and have to sort of cobble together the spirit of it with other signs.

She looked at me with this sort of dry are you kidding me expression, then signed, “I’m deaf, B, not a superhero,” in a way that made me feel about ten inches tall.

“Sorry. That’s an awful smell, though.”

And it was. I like fish as much as the next man, but this was foul. She grinned at me and picked up the tupperware the fishcake was in using towels to protect her hands from picking the smell up too, I guess, and went over to the ladder up to the platform. Her back was already to me, so I couldn’t ask her the question I had, or tell her not to do that one-handed. Instead, I just sort of… got up and hovered uselessly while she climbed up without looking back, and then followed her up there.

The platform makes me… nervous, now. I stay closer to the ladder, farther from the water. I hope the mer, that Kima doesn’t think I don’t want to be close to him or something.

Miah took the lid off the tupperware and waited. Soon enough the mer popped up near us, interested in what we were doing on the platform. 

I watched those nasal slits open wide when he smelled the fish. And I watched how his eyes went big and shiny with excitement. Whatever Miah had put in the foul thing, he wanted it.

She dumped it into the water - I didn’t see much, other than a sort of loaf-shape and a sense of texture I never want to think about again - and Kima tore into it. It was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen, and I have actually watched Kima eat raw fish that was living seconds before. I had to look away - and so did Miah, but she was laughing. She can’t hear herself, only feel the vibration in her own throat. Her laughs kind of sound almost honking, choked-off, just totally un-self-conscious noises she’s barely aware of.

I should tell her that I like the way she laughs.

Oh, I absolutely should not do that.

Maybe I should, though.

She grinned at me, still laughing, and signed, “This is disgusting!”

“It is,” I signed back, “And it’s your fault, don’t forget that!”

She was still laughing when Kima looked back up at us, fish bits smeared around his mouth, and she signed, “Merry Christmas, K-I-M-A,” to him. He stared back, signed yes, and then dove back under the water, present utterly devoured, leaving only gross little particles I will probably have to hose off the sides of the tank on cleaning day when the filters can’t quite pick them up.

Miah looked at me, and I just thought, you know, she’s really pretty even under the sun lamps, and nobody is pretty in that light. Then she signed, after this moment of stillness, “I bought you a present, too.”

“Me?” I pointed back at myself, blinking, surprised. “I don’t do Christmas, M, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “I know. But I still bought a present. Can I show you?”

“Um, sure.” I get nauseous when I’m nervous. For a second, climbing back down the ladder, I thought I’d just get sick all over myself. I was badly designed, my defense mechanism is just to vomit on myself to scare predators away, clearly my body thinks pretty women are dangerous and I have to embarrass myself until they stop looking at me.

Finally, though, we were back at my desk. The smell… lingered. I’ve since burned the candle Miah got me, and the sulfur from the matches and the scent of the candle itself have largely done away with it, but when we got back, it was still powerful. 

She didn’t pull anything out of the bag, instead she just took a small card out of her back pocket and handed it to me. 

I looked down at it. “Alborz?” I realized I’d spoken out loud, looking down, and looked back up quickly so I could repeat it in sign, so she could see. “A-L-B-O-R-Z? A gift card to a restaurant?”

She nodded, quickly, signing so fast I was having trouble keeping up. I guess… was she nervous, too? “It’s food like you grew up with, yes?”

“Yeah, more or less. I mean nothing is better than my mother’s food. But why-”

She reached out and grabbed my arm with one hand to stop me, leaned in so close that the smell of this super subtle perfume she wears was stronger, for a second, than the smell of fish. “B,” She signed, with heavy, slow emphasis, “Think about why I bought you this.”

I just looked at her. I didn’t get it at all, and told her so.

I’m so bloody dense.

She sighed, throwing her hands up in the air with an eye-roll and a smile, and then signed, “When are you taking me there?”

She had to repeat the signs three times before I realized she was asking me on a date.

So anyway, I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink tonight, and also I think I celebrate Christmas now.

Date-mas.

That was an awful joke. I’m leaving it there just to properly shame myself if I ever reread this.

---

@astrobly  @burtlederp   @finder-of-rings   @slaintetowhump   @moose-teeth   @misspelledwitch   @whumpfigure   @whumptywhumpdump   @boxboysandotherwhump   @whumpywhumpwhump   @yet-another-heathen   @fanmanga1357-blog @justabitofwhump  

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Serva me, Servabo te

save me and I will save you

pairing: photographer!Taehyung x f.reader

genre: angst, smut, slight enemies to lovers

word count: 7.3k  |  reading time: 40 min

chapter summary: flash backs clear the mystery of their first encounter, they fight over it, and then things get a bit heavier

warnings: there’s finally some sexy stuff going on yall, alcohol usage, metions of cheating, some dirty talk ig, some not very fluffy smut, almost angry fucking, dubious I’d say, fingering f.receiving, oral f.receiving, kinda dom!Tae, name calling kink? idk

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Chapter 5: Irresistible urges of the past

3 years, 2 months, and 14 days ago at 7:35 pm

The party was Yoonji's idea but you never complained. Well, okay, you complained a little bit. But that was only when you heard the approximate number of guests that had been invited so far and argued your small, shared apartment would probably collapse from the total weight in it. You offered to move the function over to the bar down the street, but apparently, that's not a house-warming party.

"How on earth are so many people coming, anyway? We have, like, five friends at most. And that is including the lunch lady."

Yoonji gave you those puppy eyes. "Well, actually, Jimin just made an Instagram story to get the word out, not thinking many would wanna come," she mumbled under her breath, almost like she was trying to avoid giving you the explanation. "But it turns out ever since that video he did, lots and lots of people wanna be his friend now."

You exhaled hard, making a pathetic sound. "You gave the guy you've only been seeing for a couple of weeks permission to invite people to our party?"

She pouted at you. "I thought you liked him. Plus, he offered to do this for us. We barely know people here, Amy, this party is going to be the best to see new faces."

You chewed your lip as you were setting the drinks on the table in a nice order and contemplated your roommate's words. "What do you need new people for?" you whined. "You already have a best friend and a hot boyfriend."

Yoonji bumped her shoulder on your arm playfully. "But you don't. Who knows, maybe you'll like one of Jimin's friends."

You rolled your eyes at her, but that didn't cover up the smile that had started to form. "Doubt it," you objected. "Models are not exactly my type."

You heard Yoonji laugh from the kitchen. "Jimin's not a model!" she shouted back. Then peeked her head around the doorway to raise an eyebrow at you. "I mean, you're not entirely wrong."

People that you had never even seen before started showing up at your place, and without fail, they all asked where Jimin and Taehyung were. Rude, you thought. That was not their party; something that could easily be deduced by how they weren't even there yet. Also, when had Jimin become so popular all of a sudden? And who the fuck was Taehyung?

At about an hour after the place was already packed and your roommate's boyfriend had finally made an appearance, Yoonji just so happened that she was constantly MIA, and the task of welcoming the people that kept and kept on coming, fell entirely on your shoulders. A task that briefly seemed not so bad when you opened the door and a brown-haired, pretty boy stood in front of you. You guessed models were indeed invited to that party, the only explanation you could come up with for why the most handsome man you had ever led your eyes upon was looking at you and smiling.

"Is this Yoonji's and... Amy's party?" he asked and you were taken aback by his deep, raspy voice that countered his charming face.

"Yes," you said, letting him in. "And are you on the bride's or the groom's side?" You hated the joke the moment it left your lips, a moment too late to take it back. Five full seconds spent with a cute boy and you were already acting weird.

But the boy laughed, and the sound quite literally lifted your spirits. "I am with Jimin if that's what you're asking."

"Of course you are. Jacket?" You offered your hands up for him.

"Oh, right, where can I leave this?" he asked as he slid the piece of garment off his shoulders. You opened the door right behind you, a door that normally led to a small storage space, but you had turned into a temporary closet with all the jackets and purses you had shoved in there. The boy leaned next to you as he tried to find somewhere to leave his outerwear without just dropping it on the pile on the floor.

"Let me," you offered, taking a random jacket that hung from the ironing board, abandoning it on the ground, and replacing it with the pretty boy's one. That's pretty privilege for you.

He chuckled. "Whose was that? Is that okay?"

"Who cares, it's my house."

"Oh," he exclaimed, watching you more closely as you closed the door again and turned to him with your lips awkwardly pressed into a thin line. You pinned your body on the wall, waiting for him to move or say something. "You're Amy?" You nodded, and the boy burst out a big smirk. "Well, well, well..." he rasped. "I'm gonna kick Jimin's ass so hard. He didn't tell me Yoonji had such a cute roommate."

The way your entire face felt like it had caught on fire in a split second almost scared you. It definitely made your eyes widen and your head go into a defense mode; you had never flustered before, of course your brain would think it was under attack. And of course you would reply with something stupid again, like snorting and saying: "Right. And you are?"

"Kim Taehyung, freshly graduated and aspiring big photographer," he proudly introduced himself. It all suddenly seemed to click and you barely held yourself from gasping right in his face. He extended a hand to you, and you took it, ready to shake it. Instead, he surprised you by bringing it to his lips and planting a soft kiss right between your knuckles. "Enchanté," he whispered with his dark eyes piercing yours.

The stupid fire all over your face got worse. So worse all you could do was quickly pull away and scoff at him, but also laugh. "That was too much!"

"Sorry," he chuckled and gave you a big, boxy grin. "I was trying to make you swoon."

You couldn't help but mimic his energy. "Does that ever work on anyone?" Well, what a liar you are. It had literally turned your stomach into a knot.

And Taehyung, almost as if he knew that, smirked at you. "You'd be surprised."

Okay, so you may have overreacted a tiny bit when you took off running away from Taehyung. There could possibly have been other ways to go about it, like gently pushing him off and telling him this was a mistake, trying to talk, or even staying silent. Your head was spinning so hard as you stumbled down that path wishing you don't get lost in the foggy state your mind had dipped in due to the haste. And it had almost cleared, you had almost stopped to think about this rationally and wait for the photographer so that you could walk home together, but the longer you thought about it more clearly, the faster you ran. You didn't even know if it was fear or shame that was powering your flight, but it had to be one of those.

The further you stayed locked in your room, the later emotion became more and more prominent. You saw Taehyung emerge from the trees sometime later and get in the house, you heard him on the downstairs floor, you saw the lights turn on and off... He was everywhere, and you were hiding away, terrified and ashamed. How could you ever meet his eyes again? But most importantly, how would you face yourself in the mirror? You knew that was the worst part of the whole situation; you let your own self down.

3 years, 2 months, and 14 days ago at 1:23 am

You returned on the corner that Taehyung and you had been occupying all night long with a drink in your hands, swaying around and trying to survive the mob of drunk college students that were doing what you were sure they thought was dancing in the middle of the living room. Some of the drink spilled on the way and you're not sure if it was because of all the bumping on people or the way you had started seeing everything double and losing your balance pretty easily.

"What the hell happened to my chair?" you whined as you found the photographer sitting there alone when you had specifically asked him to save you the seat.

He shrugged. "I couldn't defend it, sorry." Then he spread his legs wide and pat his thigh, looking up at you with a smirk. "Just sit here."

You didn't think twice; sat down on his offered position, swinging your legs to the side to completely lie on his lap and an arm around his neck for balance. Your face was inches away from his, so much so you could smell the alcohol in his breath, his hands instantly on your waist and hips to pull you close. But it felt so comfortable. Since the moment you met, you hadn't left each other's side, and you hadn't stopped touching. Touching as in holding hands while talking or pushing him while laughing, playing with your clothes or stroking each other's hair. It seemed like there was always an excuse, or, better yet, constantly a need to touch.

"Ugh!" he gagged when he took one sip of the drink you had brought right to his lips. "What is this shit?"

You giggled. "Tequila."

"Is it just tequila?"

You kept giggling. "Actually, we ran out of soft drinks so I mixed it with water."

His mouth dropped open and he started laughing, too. "Of course! Why wouldn't you!" His hands around your body squeezed you tighter and you had to squirm around, still a need to get even closer.

"It's not that bad," you proclaimed, then took a sip from the same straw and had your entire face scrunch up. "See?"

Taehyung had gotten serious, staring at you intensely, as he slowly brought the straw right on his tongue yet again. He took a generous gulp, then offered the drink to you, his eyes fixed on your lips and the way they wrapped around right where his had just been. His stare gave you goosebumps, and you pressed yourself even closer, your hip flushed right against his lower abdomen.

"You know I don't drink," he said in a whisper. He didn't need to speak louder, you were right there. "I'm only doing this for you."

"Well," you mumbled as your fingers ran through the back of his hair. "That makes two of us doing something we don't usually do tonight." And you meant it. You never did this; whatever this was. Sitting on a cute boy's lap that you had only met a couple of hours ago, ready to devour him with the first chance you got. And boy, would you devour him.

"We haven't done anything yet," Taehyung noted, his hand dipping between your legs to pinch your thing.

"Yet," you murmured, pressing even closer to him, feeling his erection grow against your hip.

Your eyes alone could communicate. And all they conveyed was the urgency to get out of there. The need to be alone. Your entire body burned with that need, or maybe it was the alcohol. With no words spoken, you both got up, holding hands not to get lost in the crowd, and searched in the apartment for an empty room. The bathroom was locked, the kitchen busy, one bedroom filled with boys playing video games and the other with smokers. Taehyung pulled you towards the exit; he wasn't about to let the moment escape him. He would get you in his car or even back to his place if he had to, just to get his hands properly on you.

But you didn't have time for that. You needed him right away. So you opened up that makeshift closet and shoved him inside. Space was limited and your bodies were naturally pressed together. The moment the door closed behind you, you realized how dark it was; the light switch being outside, forgotten. You felt his hands ran up your body, trying to blindly find your face with haste like he was being chased.

His lips found yours. And you indeed devoured each other. He had you pinned against the door and his fingers through your hair as he kissed you like a starved man. You know how first kisses almost always suck? How it takes a while to find the right rhythm, to lean into it just enough to match the other's technic? That was nothing like that. It was the best kiss you had ever had, it was so perfect and so right. The way his lips moved over your own and his tongue stroked you, it was like you had done this a million times already, or simply like you were made for each other.

Nothing could stop you now. Not even your common sense that would advise you against fucking just anyone in that tiny space, when everyone was still outside. But common sense had left you long ago. Your body was being controlled by an innate, animalistic hunger. And you moaned his name as you straddled his waist and let him suck hickeys into your neck. And you thought about how this is the best thing that had happened to you as you started taking off his belt.

You heard it again; a thump in the room. This time it was certainly not just in your head. You looked around -let's be honest- scared out of your mind because the last thing you needed right now was for something to be hidden in there with you.

"Tae?" you asked in a low voice, just in case he was playing a stupid prank on you. But you were met with silence.

Until it happened again, a louder tap, and this time you determined it was coming from the window. Slowly, while keeping your body as far away as you could, you got closer. You stared at the glass, trying to figure out why it was making that sound. Then you saw it; a small pebble clashing on the pane and disappearing just as fast. You opened it immediately and leaned outside.

"What the hell?" you shouted when you noticed the shadow-covered man standing in the garden under your room. "What are you doing down there?"

Taehyung tossed away the stones he had in his palms, straining his neck to look up at you. "I wanted to talk to you."

"And you thought -instead of just coming to my room- it'd be easier to walk downstairs, get outside and throw rocks at my window?"

"I thought you wouldn't let me in if I just knocked on your door," he explained.

You groaned. He wasn't wrong; you would have probably continued to hide away and avoid him. But he didn't have to be so dramatic about it. Well, not that you are one to talk. "Ugh, just- get your ass in here," you shouted back.

"You're gonna talk to me?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

You groaned again. "Yes!"

You saw Taehyung run inside as if he was afraid you would change your mind in the meantime. Perhaps you would. You really didn't want to talk to him. What would you even say? You had no excuse to give him, or no excuse you wanted him to know, anyway. All you wanted was to pretend he wasn't even there until morning came; then you could drive back home and go back to pretending you didn't even know each other.

"He is crazy," you mumbled to yourself as you decided you couldn't evade this anymore. "No, that man is certified insane!" you kept on complaining to no one as you opened your door and dashed away.

You ran into him in the middle of the staircase. Stood there, just a step away from him, with your arms folded over your chest, keeping your eyes anywhere but on him.

"So?" you spat.

"I wanted to talk to you," he said in a whisper, a tone that sounded like he was guilty of something.

"Yes, I got that. You can talk now."

He looked down at your feet. "Here?"

You scoffed and moved past him, jogging down the stairs and taking a turn towards the kitchen. The boy followed you diligently. When you reached the room, you immediately grabbed a glass and filled it with water, chugging it down in one go and going for a second turn. You really wished this was something stronger, looking around to see if you could spot a bottle of some kind of liquor. You would need it if you were to have the conversation you thought you would.

"I have a confession to make," Taehyung announced after he decided the silence was enough.

You froze, the glass of water still against your lips, and you looked at him from the corner of your eyes. "Oh, please," you groaned but still couldn't move. "No more confessions from you."

He sighed, walking until he got right in front of you so that he could look you in the eyes for this. "I remember your party."

See, this is exactly what you feared the most. This...This conversation was what was making this place truly haunted for you.

"What?" you weakly breathed.

"Your... welcoming party? With Yoonji?" he continued. As if you didn't know what party he was talking about. "I remember everything about it."

"But-"

"I wasn't that drunk."

The glass hit the counter with such force, for a second you thought you had broken it in your grip. But it had just provided a loud noise as you gaped at the boy in front of you. What were you supposed to say, now? Where to start?

"You didn't even remember meeting me!" you called out.

"Yeah I- I lied."

The worst part wasn't that he was pretending he didn't know who you were. No, that was low-key genius and you would have done the exact same thing if you were quick enough to think of it when you found yourself in that sitting room, across the person you least wanted to see. The worst part was that you had believed it. You felt like such an idiot. You had believed it and thought it meant you could have a clean start.

3 years, 2 months, and 14 days ago at 1:44 am

You didn't want to stop, but you still did, when Taehyung's phone went off. When he pulled away, gasping for air and apologizing. You thought you were having a moment there, you know, a moment where no matter who was calling, it wasn't important enough to pick up. But he apparently didn't see it that way. He took one look at his screen and asked you to be quiet.

Maybe your eyes accidentally caught the pet name on his contact for a split second, or maybe it was the girly voice that came muffled from the speaker, but your head started spinning without warning. And the space was suddenly too small, and it was choking you. You found the knob before he realized what you were doing, and with your body weight on the door, you were launched outside; into the light that burned your eyes. A girl was standing on the other side of the hallway, looking at you with judgement in her eyes and her phone in her hands, then immediately averting her pretentious gaze. A hand tried to hold onto your shirt to keep you back, but you escaped.

You stumbled through the place, not sure where you were trying to go or who you were trying to find, solely trying to keep yourself up and not barf on the new carpet. You wanted to get away, but where could you go? You lived there. You heard Yoonji's laugh before you even saw her, sighing in relief when you spotted her in the kitchen and letting your body fall on hers.

"Baby, baby, everything alright?" your roommate called for you, but you just held onto her without a word. She tried to bear your weight as best as she could, holding onto the counter so that you wouldn't both plummet onto the floor.

Another hand rubbed your back. "Did you drink a little too much, Ames?" It was Jimin's sweet voice. You whined into your friend's neck before you pulled back to look at her boyfriend.

"Jimin, is Kim Taehyung your friend?" you asked him.

He frowned, a little confused as to how the conversation got there. "Ye- yeah. He's my best friend. You met him, right?"

"Yeah," Yoonji responded for you. "I saw them talking earlier."

You took a deep breath; everything seemed to be against you at that moment, even the air itself, and you were trying so hard to not crumble. "Does he have a girlfriend?" you dared ask, even though you thought you might vomit if you heard the answer.

"Who? Tae?" Yoonji mumbled. You nodded, and she gave you a smirk right away. "Ohh... Why do you ask, baby? You interested?"

You rolled your eyes as both of them started teasing you. "No," you tried to tell them.

"Why, was he flirting with you?"

"How does he get every girl like that?"

"No, guys-"

"I don't blame her. He's so hot."

"Hey! I'm right here!"

"Just answer the damn question!" you yelled at them, and they finally stopped. Jimin looked at you with the same frown again.

"He does," he said and everything that was spinning in the room stopped abruptly. "Sorry, love. I promise you'll be the first to know when they break up."

Everything was foggy, and you felt numb. So numb, there was absolutely no thought in your head. You barely noticed the couple turn their heads to the door, barely realized who it was they were looking at.

"No, thanks," you whispered to Jimin then and pulled Yoonji away. "Bathroom," you simply stated and she carefully took you there, avoiding successfully the boy that was the topic of your conversation. For the first time of the many, many more that followed. All those times you stayed clear of gatherings you knew he would be at. All those times you changed your way, left a coffee shop, stayed silently in a corner in places there was nowhere else to go. You never told Yoonji exactly why you didn't want to be in the same room with him again, but she was very supportive no matter what.

You weren't sure why, either. Whether it was your hurt ego, your high standards for the people surrounding you, or the shame you felt every time you met his eyes, you couldn't tell. One thing you knew for sure was how you vowed to never fall for that again. Not from Taehyung, and not from anyone else. No more hooking up with random fuck boys at parties. No more associating yourself with people you don't even value enough. Kim Taehyung was an asshole, and you didn't care what he did or who he did it with, but you would rather be caught dead than be caught with him ever again.

Yet there you were. With him.

You cleared your throat. "And you're telling me this now because...?"

The photographer frowned, mostly at himself, clenching his jaw and looking at the ground. "Well, because you kissed me and ran away as if your life depended on it. Thought it might have something to do with that."

"Right." You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding slightly as you tried to think of what to say. Truly, what could you say? There have been so many things torturing your mind, but you didn't know which of those would be worth saying aloud. "Okay," you simply mumbled. "Are we done then?"

You tried walking past him but he held you back. "Wait, wait, hold on. You promised we would talk."

You just looked at him with your eyes wide. "You said you had a confession to make. You made it. There’s nothing more to say about that."

"Yes, there is."

"Like what?"

Taehyung snorted, finally letting you go. "Like what your problem with me is!"

You released a bitter laugh. "I thought you said you remember everything about that night."

He licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair. "It's been three years-"

"And you stay lying to me." He looked at you intensely but you didn't back down. You might not have wanted to have this conversation, but now that it was happening, you wouldn't cower one bit.

"Look," he started, taking a step closer. "What I did was wrong. Both to you and to my girlfriend. I understand, it was very shitty and I don't have any excuses. I'm not here to give you any excuses."

"Yeah, 'cause there is no excuse for such a thing," you bit back.

Taehyung sighed at your attitude, somewhat losing his patience, but continued. "Right," he mumbled through his teeth. "I told her what I did and we broke up. Actually, she forgave me and wanted to stay with me but I insisted on breaking up because I didn't want her to be in a relationship where I made such a mistake, I wanted her to find someone better."

You shrugged, folding your arms over your chest yet again and tapping your foot on the floor. "Alright. Good for her. What do you want, a cookie?"

"No-"

"You really did less than the minimum, there, buddy. I don't know what you want from me right now."

"I- nothing!"

"Then why are you telling me this?"

He paused, opening and closing his mouth again, clearly not knowing how to reply. Maybe he expected a different reaction, or maybe he was nervous and it all translated into a type of irritation, but he was starting to look angry. "Because!" he said in a louder tone. "Because you keep treating me like that, you're acting like I'm this huge asshole, and I get it- first impressions are hard to change, but I'm not! I'm not that asshole you've made me out to be and quite frankly it's starting to get pretty annoying."

You chuckled. What else were you supposed to do? You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "Excuse me, but I have the right to believe anything I want about you. If I have a certain idea of who you are and it's not affecting you in any way, then what's the problem?" You saw Taehyung roll his eyes and turn away, his hands on his hips as he shook his head and sighed. "If I think what you did is bad enough for me to never change my mind about you, then that's my opinion."

He was mumbling his words out, not being able to form a sentence long enough for it to make sense. "But that's- you-" He kept grunting and shaking his head at you until he finally spoke up. "Three years!" he announced. "It's been three years, Amy, and you're still punishing me for this. Alright, it's your opinion to determine the gravity of it, but don't tell me it doesn't affect me. Not when you've been avoiding me for three years."

"I haven't-" you tried to lie.

But he knew better than that. "Yes, you have. Every time I wanted to come along with my friends, something always came up and you'd bail. You didn't even show up at Jimin's birthday for crying aloud! Because you knew I'd be there. And I wanted to talk to you, apologize to you. I liked you and wanted to make this right and you never gave me the chance." He took a deep breath after having given his monologue in a haste, almost like he was scared his words would bail, too, if he wasn't quick enough. "And then you're wondering why I pretended I didn't remember you?" You blinked at him when you realized he was waiting for an answer. You had none to give him. "What was I supposed to do, huh? What could I have done that wouldn't have resulted in you getting back in that car and driving away?"

You stayed silent, looking at him through your lashes, then averting your gaze again. You sniffed your nose a couple of times as you were trying to get your thoughts straight. Kicked the floor once or twice as you felt your body squirm under his stare; he wouldn't relieve you from the scrutiny. "I..." you finally mumbled. "I'm not interested in reconciling with you." You gulped but noticed his stance and expression didn't change at all. Like he expected those words. "I'm sorry if that's what you wanted to do, and that I prevented you from even trying. But I won't change my mind about this."

He licked his lips, looking at you with a serious frown, then simply said: "Why?"

Why was he even asking? Was it not obvious? "Look, I simply don't like people who do things like these. I don't want them as boyfriends, or friends, or anything. Nothing personal."

"But that's what I'm trying to say!" he insisted. "I'm not like that." He came close, so close his face was hovering above yours merely inches away, staring into your eyes with a sort of urgency. An urgency for you to understand him. "I'm not normally like that. That night... I don't know. That night was an exception. I really don't want to give you cliché excuses, but I thought you knew. I thought you felt it, too. I'm not crazy, right? There was something there that you felt, too?"

You gulped again, looking him up and down with fire all over your face. Because you knew instantly what he meant. But it had to take a few moments for it to actually sink in. That it wasn't just you. And that he, too, was unable to keep his hands from you that night. It certainly didn't justify his actions or lessen your disdain for him. But at least it felt a tiny bit good to know that you weren't just a naive little girl who had fallen for the pretty boy's trick, just like dozens of others.

"That still doesn't explain..." you started saying, keeping your opinion openly still the same, yet not denying his words.

"I know it doesn't!" he was quick to say. His eyes traveled all over your face, the tone of his voice having calmed a bit. "It was very douchy of me and I don't expect to be forgiven for it. Which is why I didn't stay with that girl." You jumped slightly when you felt his hands land on your arms. But you didn't pull away. "But I don't understand why you have to be so harsh on me. It's been three years, and this is still obviously bothering you. You haven't let it go even a little bit."

You looked away, taking a step back, but he quickly made up for it. "It doesn't bother me," you said, tongue in cheek.

"Well, it clearly does," he insisted. "When you are cold to me one moment, kissing me the next, and then running away like I hurt you."

"You did hurt me."

The words left your mouth before you could stop them. Before you even knew what you were saying yourself. He hurt you. You had never admitted that before. Always blaming your anger and aversion to him on your morals or whatever. Yet that was the true reason you didn’t want to see him, and you didn’t want to talk to him, and definitely not kiss him again.

Taehyung paused, taking a deep breath. He leaned nearer as he looked down at your lips as whispered. “I know,” he said in a sweet voice as if to reassure you. “I know.” That meant you weren’t crazy. “But why is it still hurting you now?” You tensed up at his question. “Why do you care -about me- so much that this is, to this day, an open wound?”

You scoffed. But you couldn't say anything. You tried pushing him away, and for a moment he let you, but then he was right in front of you again. Even closer, perhaps. “What are you…?” you murmured, looking quite lost. Especially with the close proximity that was driving your mind into a frenzy.

“Do you still like me?” he asked, straightforward.

“No!” you called immediately. But he didn’t seem convinced, raising an eyebrow at you. "I’m not still hurt. I just… I told you. I simply don't want anything to do with someone like you. So it's fine when you keep your distance, but it's not fine when you kiss me. I said I don't want- ."

"Yeah, yeah, you don't want a boyfriend nor a friend like me," he interrupted you to finish your sentence. "Not that I ever offered to be either of those."

Your cheeks flushed and you looked away immediately so as not to get caught. "I- I didn't say I wanted you to."

Taehyung chuckled. The sound almost scared you more than when he was shouting earlier. Because you knew a casual, flirty Taehyung was always more dangerous. "You know, you kissed me!" he reminded you.

Your mouth dropped in a dramatic way. "You seduced me into kissing you!" you complained.

And the boy laughed even harder. "Seduced? Is that your way of saying you couldn't resist me?"

You tried to fight back at his remarks that clearly only served the role of firing you up -whether that was with anger or something else, you weren't sure. And then he had the audacity to wonder why you still didn't like him? But your voice cracked, as you backed until your body hit the kitchen counter and your hands held the edge tight. "Is not!" you managed to get out.

Taehyung’s arms trapped you in that counter, his hands holding onto it on either side of your body until you were caged between them, as he leaned even closer, standing one breath away and staring at you with a smirk on his lips. It was clear then, he wasn’t trying to talk anymore.

“C’mon,” he rasped, a voice so low that it vibrated in frequencies hard to hear. “I know you can’t resist me. You couldn’t do it three years ago and you can’t do it now.”

Your palms hit his chest, trying to push him away from you as you breathed heavily, hearing your own heartbeat in your head and feeling your control slipping through your fingers. But you still couldn’t form any words. Your brain had shut down when it came to that. Just spinning around as Taehyung kept getting closer. What the hell was he trying to do?

"I'm just saying… There is no one here to judge you for it. No one will know you went against your morals," he purred, a hand leaving your side briefly to swipe your hair off your shoulder and caress your neck in the process. The contact made your palms clench into fists, his shirt pooling under your grip. And there were two ways you could go about this; either push or pull him.

“Tae…”

“Go on then,” he said in a teasing tone. “Show me how much you hate me, princess. How you despise me and everything I stand for. Resist me.”

You did hate him. And you hated being proven wrong. So, those two together should result in you pushing him away and going to your room. Right? You should resist that man, it couldn’t be so hard, anyway. So tell me why the way he was looking at you made your knees buck? Why his words filled your stomach with butterflies, his scent numbed your brain like a hallucinogen? Why you couldn’t resist him.

Tell me why you pulled him in by the shirt.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap his lips around yours. Didn’t waste any time to hold you by the waist and press his body on yours. This was the third chance he was given for this and he was about to make it work. And he seemed to have been waiting for it. He already knew what to do, how to hold you, how to kiss you in order to make you moan in his mouth. It was the party scene all over again; as in, you were devouring each other in a sort of urgency, bumping your lips together like you were drunk and had just found the person you were feeling the craziest chemistry with, grinding on each other as if you were trying to merge together.

And maybe he was right; you could never resist him.

Your fingers dipped into his soft locks and he moaned your name. He snaked his arms under your thighs to push you up, letting you sit at the edge of the counter. He immediately filled in the gap between your legs, hands rubbing up and down your back, while you started kissing down his neck, making sure to mark him as if he was yours. He hissed and growled every time you bit him, riding your shirt up to get a feel of your skin underneath. Then finding your hands, intertwining your fingers together, and pushing them past your body, almost like he was trying to confine them away from him. And you hated not being able to touch him, hated how he pushed your body back to have you almost lay on the counter completely, and you couldn’t move. Because you wanted more.

And maybe he was right; no one would ever know about this. So perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to do this. This mistake. Taehyung.

“Princess, if you plan on regretting this and running away again, you better tell me now,” he rasped while kissing your collarbone. “I might not stop later.”

He was giving you an out. And normally you would have taken it. But at that moment the only thing busying your mind was that implied promise of what was to come.

“You better not,” you mumbled, more to yourself, but heard him chuckle when he heard it, too.

His hands clenched harder around yours before he released you in favor of grabbing your ass and your thighs. He squeezed you close, pulling you until your crotch was rubbing against his clear erection under his pants, and all you could do was whimper. Still kissing his neck, that sweet spot under his ear, biting his lob, and hearing him grunt at the way you were making him feel. Your hands, free now, could run up his toned arms and enjoy his body like you wanted to for a while.

He pulled his head slightly back to look into your eyes. His seemed so unfocused, so dark, like he had gotten high from you. “You want me to make you feel good?” he asked with a smirk. You weren’t sure if he was asking for permission or just building the anticipation.

“Can you?” No, you weren’t making a plea. You were questioning his skills. And he picked it up from your tone immediately.

“Can I?” he snorted, his eyes turning to the ceiling before he let his fingers slowly and very slightly brush your naked belly, moving further down. Your entire body squirmed with the rhythm of his fingertips. “You shiver every time I touch you. So, yeah, I think I can do anything I want to you.”

You immediately punched his chest, pushing him away. “God, I hate you.”

But his smug smirk wouldn’t back down. And he wouldn’t let go of you. “We have already established that,” he murmured, as he lowered his head down- and farther down- until it was right in front of the fly of your pants. And your stomach was sucked in the entire time, your whole body, actually, as if you were trying to take up less space. As if you were trying to pull away from him, even though at the same time you could feel your lower half burning from want, and your lips were already missing his.

But then he looked up at you too, as he was bent down there in front of your crotch, to stare into your eyes through his lashes with a hotshot grin and his tongue between his teeth; and you forgot how to breathe. And then he unbuttoned you with his mouth, biting the zipper and pulling it down slow enough for you to feel every vibration on your body, without ever breaking eye contact; and you thought your soul left your body.

He was back at his normal height, pushing your pants down while licking his lips and examining your face. “Alright, princess,” he spoke in a low tone. “I will give you my best, on one condition.” The pants were completely off and he was working on your unimpressive underwear next. “Every time I do make you feel good, you have to say my name.”

He had gotten you all naked from your waist down, yet he still hadn’t even glanced there; kept his eyes stubbornly on yours. But when you tried to press your legs together, feeling shy and exposed, he was holding them tight. “That’s your condition?” you wondered, not seeming too hard to do. You were probably going to do it anyway.

He leaned down, keeping his lips close enough to rub on yours when he spoke. “Yes. Every time. I want you to keep reminding yourself who it is that is making you feel this way.” When he kissed you, it worked almost as a distraction to how one hand crept in between your thighs and pressed around your folds, yet avoiding the place you needed him to touch.

His lips moved at the same rhythm as his fingers, his tongue slipping in your mouth right as he finally moved them closer, getting them all dirty with your wetness. Index and middle finger rubbing up and down, brushing against your clit and over your opening but never giving into either. You hummed in frustration as you bit down on his bottom lip, your hips trying to move forward, trying to get more.

“What did I tell you?” he whispered, increasing his pressure on your clit just for a moment, a moment long enough to make you gasp with your mouth open over his.

“Tae…” you breathed.

“Say it,” he insisted.

“Taehyung,” you moaned, closing your eyes as he started moving his fingers in circles over the sensitive bud like a reward.

“You’re so wet, already,” he observed, something quite obvious from the sounds the simple movement was creating. “Is that all for me?” He pulled his head back to watch your reaction better, smiling when he saw you nodding. “Good girl,” he purred, rewarding you yet again with sliding one finger easily inside.

"Oh,” you moaned, your body immediately arching towards his. You still needed more. The better it all felt, the more you wanted from him.

The photographer inhaled sharply through his teeth, stilling his actions. “Amy, what did we say?”

“Taehyung,” you immediately obeyed. And you didn’t need to be told twice. “Taehyung,” you moaned, again and again, as he worked his magic into you. As he kissed you in that way no one had ever been able to replicate. “Taehyung,” as he pushed a second finger in to stretch you out. “Taehyung,” as he found your g-spot and massaged it softly as if he was working with something fragile. “Taehyung, Taehyung,” as he made you come, once, twice, thrice. With his fingers inside you, on your clit, his mouth french-kissing your pussy, his tongue dipping in and out as he lapped at your juices.

All while you had to make yourself think of who exactly was fucking you like that. Who was making your legs shake, your head spin, your sight and hearing unclear. Whose hair you were pulling, whose teeth you had marks of on your thighs, whose name you were screaming.

Kim Taehyung.

Next Chapter

[adorpheus]

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site. 

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic. 

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom. 

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom. 

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~. 

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die? 

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday. 

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life. 

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here? 

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

 god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!! 

[comfy-whumpee]

Cat 2

@whumptober2020 Day 28: Normal. Taken from ‘Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.’

TW: Lindsey is kind of intimate in this, in a platonic but attracted way.

Taglist: @lonesome--hunter, @iaminamoodymoodtoday, @wildfaewhump, @ishouldblogmore, @lektricwhump, @that-one-thespian, @raigash, @eatyourdamnpears.

The captive was chained against the wall, long links of metal locked around the nailed-in loops in the concrete. The arms were above the head, the ankles together on the ground, and just like everyone else, the video camera was placed on its tripod in front of the victim.

It was all terribly, obnoxiously normal, except the person in the chains was Cat.

Lindsey had taken her blazer and searched her pockets, disappointed to find only the key card from the hotel and the empty packet of painkillers. “Not even your knife, Cat?” she’d commented, tossing the jacket aside. “For shame!”

Cat had only glared. Her glasses had been nudged slightly askew, and it made everything tilted, as though seasick. She didn’t have the hands to straighten them.

Now Lindsey was unbuttoning her shirt, leaning close enough that Cat could smell her, could hear her humming to herself softly, and the feeling of fingers popping the buttons of her blouse through was somehow the least disturbing thing about this situation.

“Okay!” Lindsey said, once she had unveiled her grim canvas. “Um, what’s next? Ugh, I suck at this bit!”

Next was to set the camera to record. Cat didn’t speak to tell her. Normally that was her job, so it stood to reason that Lindsey wouldn’t remember, and Cat was not interested in being a snuff film. She stared at Lindsey, and after a moment’s thought, said, “Now you fucking let me go because I’m the only person who’ll put up with your shit.”

Lindsey grinned. “Nuh-uh. You stopped putting up with me when you took Liam away. You weren’t gonna come back, Cat, I know you weren’t.”

Cat didn’t have anything to say to that. The comment had served its purpose; Lindsey had forgotten about the routine she was trying to follow. The camera was off. Fucking typical, that she’d be captured by someone who wouldn’t even remember to set the camera to record.

Someone whom she’d allowed to know her, who turned on her.

Fucking typical.

“Umm, oh, I know!” Lindsey brightened again. “Cat Herrera! You’re here because you did a bad thing! You left me, your wife, at home and ran away to elope with some guy. Also you took the nice car.”

“I’m not your wife,” Cat reminded her, for at least the thousandth time. “You know I—”

“Hate it when I call you that, yeah, yeah, I know.” Lindsey stretched her arms above her head, and gave Cat a sunny smile with a hint of slyness. “That’s why I did it. You put up with my shit! I know you hate the idea of getting married again so I, y’know. Played with it.”

The wall was suddenly very cold at Cat’s bare back. Lindsey had calculated that, too? How many more things had she missed?

Lindsey’s expression was in the shadow of the brightness of the single bulb, hanging behind her head like an ungodly halo. “You put up with loads of stuff. I cut people sometimes and you fixed it. I stole stuff and you fixed it. And you gave me people to torture! And you acted like you were a good person for doing it!” She moved forwards, beaming. “You were the dream girl.” Her voice softened. Her eyes were dark and bright. “All I had to do was keep you safe from that nasty world out there, and let you think you controlled me.”

Cat’s heartbeat was pulsing against her skin. She didn’t look away, didn’t break Lindsey’s stare, but it was no longer the glare of judgement. She looked up at Lindsey and recognised, distantly, that she was a prey animal caught in the sightlines of a predator, wondering which way to bolt.

Calm down. She knew which way.

“And you’re going to throw it away for a few days of fun,” she replied, and her voice was level. Lindsey didn’t get to do this. She didn’t get to win.

“Yeah, I am.” The knife came up, and Cat held still as the curve of the hook touched the bottom of her chin. “I can’t let you leave.”

One good thing about the gut hook was that it didn’t stab when she spoke. She spoke normally. She wouldn’t show fear, couldn’t. “I told you, I wasn’t leaving.”

“You were!” Lindsey cried suddenly, and the knife slashed down and caught on Cat’s collarbone, pain roaring to life as the tip caught and gouged through the skin. “I know you, Cat, don’t patronise me! You ran away from me! You took your fake ID and the money and the car and you disappeared and you didn’t tell me why, that’s not a lesson for me, you were running away!”

Her voice bounced off the walls, a pressure against Cat’s head as the migraine pulsed gently against her right eye. It was back, of course. Couldn’t do one thing at a time. The slow march of hot blood down her front was only part of the delights she had waiting for her today—

Focus. She kept her gaze level, breathing even, and voice steady. The more emotional Lindsey got, the calmer she had to be. “I made you think that, you idiot. That was the point.”

“No. No, the safe was a secret, the other ID you had.” Lindsey’s voice dropped back into conversational lightness dizzyingly fast. “You wanted to run. My own wife—”

“I’m not your fucking wife—”

“—leaving me for a boy.”

“I don’t even date, Lindsey.”

“Mhmm, because you know what I’d do to anyone you did.”

“No. You know I’m not interested.”

Lindsey shrugged away the truth. “You’re not a very good liar. You get all snippy and mean when you lie. C’mon, just admit it. You wanted to leave me.”

Cat glared at her, but she was thinking. If Lindsey really could tell when she was lying – sometimes, not all the time – then it was better to be honest about this one thing. Just one thing.

“I didn’t,” she said. She let it pause, let Lindsey’s eyebrows rise at it sank in. “I didn’t want to leave you, Lin. I wanted to believe you’d just messed up, that you really had changed and you listened to me. I wanted to ignore it. But Liam was like me, you know it. I couldn’t let you fuck him up. We’re supposed to protect people like that.”

Lindsey’s nose wrinkled. “That was your thing, not me.”

“It was our thing,” Cat corrected, sharply as she could muster. “It was what we built together. And you destroyed it because you couldn’t resist a victim under your nose. Don’t blame me for this, Lindsey. This was all you.”

Lindsey didn’t immediately reply. Cat breathed, controlled and regular, feeling her heartbeat slow. That was it, her last appeal to their relationship. A line in the sand, though Lindsey might not know it. If she listened, and accepted it was her fault, maybe Cat could get out of this alive. Maybe she still had a foothold, however small, in Lindsey’s artificial conscience.

For a long minute, Lindsey thought. She was frowning, which was a good sign. The less happy she was with the situation, the better Cat’s odds were. The less certain she was that this was what she wanted, the more likely it was that Cat could persuade her that it wasn’t.

“Mmnngh,” Lindsey groaned. “Maybe you’re right. I did kinda fuck up. I could’ve got you back. But you should’ve told me you weren’t running away.”

Relief couldn’t be shown. Cat rolled her eyes. “Fine. I will next time.” Glare. “Not that there should be a next time.”

“No,” Lindsey agreed, but she seemed distracted. “No, there wouldn’t be. ‘Cause, even if you were gonna come back, now...” Her eyes focused on Cat’s bleeding collarbone. “I did it, didn’t I?”

“What?”

“I hurt you.” She raised the knife and considered it, tilting it until a reflection of light crossed her face. She rubbed a thumb over the hook, smearing away a trace of Cat’s blood. “You said if I ever hurt you, you’d leave forever. And I just did.”

Cat watched, unable to speak, as Lindsey’s eyes moved back to her cut, fixed there. A hand rose, brushed across the skin, pressed where it was broken as if she could rub it away, and Lindsey sighed softly, happily. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”

Cat’s jaw set. “Let me down.”

“Mm-mm. Not this time.” Slowly, she raised the knife. With the edge of the blade, this time, she drew down Cat’s other collarbone, a long slice along its ridge that stung in the metal’s wake. Lindsey exhaled shakily. “Oh man, I’m so not allowed to do this.”

She knew. She did it anyway. The time for talking was over. Words wouldn’t stop her now.

“Cat,” Lindsey said, and it was still the same voice, the same tone, the same friend who had been with her for over a decade. “You look so good. You’re so pretty. I knew it, I knew you would be.”

Don’t be so fucking creepy, Lin.

There was no point. This was happening. Her nightmares had come true.

“I know you like blue,” Lindsey said, and the smile in her eyes was bright, too bright, fixated. “But I think red is your colour.”

[onisiondrama]

Crows Of Judgement Onision Interview Part 3

January 18, 2021

James says the doc will show tweets and write "actual tweet" under it, but show no proof of the original. James says the belly photos they showed of Kai were from his Instagram. He says there is a question of if they were even sent or if they were taken from Instagram. Someone says documentaries use deception.

James asks if they think it's weird it's been a year and the FBI and police never talked to him? The host says no because he thinks James knows exactly what the laws are where he lives. Host says the documentary doesn't establish anything close to criminal behavior and they admit the laws aren't caught up to the internet and James didn't do anything he could be prosecuted for. James asks if the laws were modern, what would he be prosecuted for?

James asks why do they call him a predator? He says it's life destroying when the Pierce County sheriff says he's a predator. Someone says the sheriff also said they were looking for real witnesses and victims. James says the sheriff called Sarah, Shiloh, all those people not real victims. (Their department didn't have contact with any of them when he said that.)

James says the contract they tried to get him to sign releases him of any way to sue them. He says they wanted him to sign so they could say whatever they want about him. Someone says Edwin had to sign a similar contract. James says that's cool if they got the same contract because that would mean it was less malicious.

The host asks how many women have accusations against James? James says 4 or 5 women accused him of being emotionally abusive. He says zero women accused him of beating them, sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault, an actual crime. James says they accused him because he kicked them out of his life. He asks them to name a single person who accused him who he didn't kick out of his life. The host asks if they could be mad at him for the way he treated them? James says he's mad at Billie for the way she treated him. The host asks again and James says anyone can be mad at someone for how they treated them if they want to perceive it a certain way.

James asks why did the majority of women accusing of him not go on the documentary? The host asks why didn't James go on the documentary? James says because they wanted him to sign away all his rights so he couldn't sue them. The host is talked over by James, but I think he's saying the women could have not gone on for the same reason.

James said the goal of the documentary was obvious, praising Chris Hansen and Steven Asarch. He says it was executive produced by Steven, who he doesn't trust. He says Steven argued with him about where he was during 9/11 and still keeps up a slanderous article about him. James asks why Edwin was on the documentary when he doesn't like Shiloh? He says Shiloh said she was going to kill herself in relation to him. Says Edwin thinks Shiloh is a liar and doesn't like Chris Hansen.

Someone asked if James has any regrets? He says when Sarah told them her mom beats they helped her out. He says she admitted they kept her away from drugs, hard situations at home, and illegal activity. She shits on them anyway. He says his biggest regret was not being able to see those people coming and avoid them.

James says he is in the process of seeking legal action against a certain person. He says it's hard because lawyers don't want bad Yelp reviews. The host says lawyers like money. James says he doesn't have a lot of money or income. He's trying to get a lawyer to be interested, but it's controversial.

Someone asks if James can see why people have a horrible opinion of him of Youtube. James says he had no idea what people were saying because he didn't watch 99% of hate videos. He would keep to himself in his Discord server. He says he doesn't think he's seen a full Repzion video. He says he was blown away when he saw the documentary. They were making him out to be Charles Manson, but they wouldn't even say what he did.

The host asks if it's correct that James filmed Shiloh having a seizure and uploaded it to Youtube. James says Shiloh told him to upload it. He said he was tired of her episodes so he recorded it to show her. He told her he could upload the video to help people who are going through that and he could go to sleep or he could stay up all night and make another video. She told him she wanted to go to sleep with him. He says when it went online and everyone was freaking out, he went "oh, that's interesting." Someone asks so the decision was should I stay up all night or do you want me to upload your seizure? James says "yes, that's how stupid the decision was." He says he was told Shiloh said in a video on Tumblr she was fucking with him, but it was conveniently taken down. (That didn't happen. There was no tumblr video and she never said that.) He says the video her ex boyfriend made about her trying to put him in jail is also conveniently taken down. She was threatening to put a knife in someone's text. He says if you only watch anti-Onision videos, he looks like the most insane mother fucker on Earth.

James says at the end of the seizure video, they were laughing together and fucking around in the kitchen. The host asks about how it would help people, if he provided a link? James says throughout the video there was text on the screen describing what was going on. James says there was a part of the video where Shiloh points out a family member and says they're not dead. He says if she lost her memory, how did she remember they died? She says her mom looked old, but how did she age that much in three years? (He explained in the actual video that her mom lost a lot of weight, so she looked a lot older.) He says that's what makes him believe the tumblr video. He says her ex talked about the fake seizures too. The host says he just skimmed through the video and he doesn't see where James told people where to go for support. James says he didn't tell people go for support, he said there was a narrative. The host facepalms. James laughs and asks "what's up?" The host says he doesn't know how James thought that was appropriate. James says he was used to abnormal behavior in that relationship. He called the cops on her 3 times. She would go full mental breakdown when he would breakup with her. He says she threatened to kill herself and make it look like he did it.

The host asks why did James bring her back? James says because she told him she was pregnant. (That's total bullshit. He knew 100% she was lying and called her out multiple times online for lying.) He says she called him before getting on the plane and told him she wasn't pregnant.

Someone asks about the miscarriage. James says there's a few alleged miscarriages. (There was 1 fake one, 1 real one. He knows it was real. He was there at her appointments.) He talks about how she uploaded a picture of someone else's premature baby and wrote "in loving memory of Rogue." (that was the fake one) He says she miscarried at 6 weeks and found out at 12 - 13 weeks. He says it was the size of a peanut on the ultrasound. He said it was a shitty ultrasound because it was a mom and pop doula and a tiny place. They said she needed to remove it, but she didn't have health insurance. She had Canadian health insurance so they sent her back to take care of it the financially responsible way. He said she later shamed him for that and he sarcastically says he's so sorry he's financially responsible. He sent her back for that then she posted the Rogue photo. (That's not true. The Rogue photo happened way before their real miscarriage.) He says it's a mature fetus in the photo, so she was misleading. He said when she faked the pregnancy, she took a photo with her stomach pushed out and faked a doctor's note. He says KatSketch from Shane Dawson's channel has a specialty with pregnant people as far as her schooling. She said Shiloh was pushing her gut out and he celebrated with Cyr that she wasn't pregnant because he didn't want to be with a "psycho" (he literally says "quote, unquote") again. He says days pass and he got lonely and convinced himself to take her back.

The host says he doesn't understand that. James says he was an idiot and his comment section was filled with people telling him not to be with her. He would make videos about how in love they were, pissing off his audience. James says even people in serious abusive relationship where they could die take their partners back.

[joda323]

I’m completely appalled and disgusted right now. And this is for all you fucking bitches who love to talk shit on Taylor, you fucking know who you are. You love to belittle her, and use the fucking Kanye situation to prove your hatred. In the last hour, the real phone call between Taylor and Kayne got leaked. She said she NEVER knew Kanye was going to say “I made that bitch famous”, he told her about “I feel like Taylor Swift might owe me sex” and that’s where he finished the conversation. She said she was fine with that lyric bc that’s how rapers talk. Kim recorded that phone call because she KNEW Taylor would be upset over it, and PURPOSELY edited that part of the call out when she released the phone call videos (which was ILLEGAL). Taylor Swift has broken more records than a majority of artists. In the past decade she’s had the most successful career, and has won more awards than any other artist (at least I believe so). Y’all love to tear down her Grammy speech about people taking credit for your success, and y’all called her a liar. She didn’t call out the line “I think Taylor Swift might owe me sex” once, she ONLY ever called out the line of him claiming her fame. Women work their asses off and men still assume they own it. Men believe women can’t be successful without them. I know not all men, but too many men. Taylor wrote her ENTIRE ‘speak now’ album on her own, and won TWO Grammys for that album. Too many of you “feminists” on my friends list always seem to find a problem in her, even though your attacks stem from misogyny. And it’s because she’s a powerful successful woman. We all fucking know if another “less controversial” artist was in the same spot, y’all would be defending her in an instance. I completely believe in white heterosexual privilege, and Taylor does too. Taylor has had her moments of ignorance and past mistakes, but if you see a single thing she’s done recently, you should know how much she’s done.

Here’s a list for all you “woke” folks who turn a blind eye to her good deeds.

- she heavily promoted the equality act, and her petition reached over 500,000 supporters. She has on multiple occasions publicly supported the bill and equality for the LGBTQA+ community.

- she’s publicly criticized women who don’t support women, specifically Marsha Blackburn.

- she’s shared her belief of systematic racism and the unfair legal system towards POC, and police brutality.

- she was sexually assaulted and won the case, but y’all still trivialize what she went through, when you wouldn’t do the same if it was another woman.

- she paid $250,000 to kesha’s legal fees with her trial against dr.luke. She also paid ALL of what dr.luke sued her for.

- she’s publicly spoken about her privilege during her sexual assault trial and how she was ‘lucky’ enough to have multiple witnesses and photos that proved it. She said her hearts break for the people who didn’t have that. For the people who never came forward because they were scared and feared they wouldn’t be believed, and that’s why it took me years to come forward.

- she’s donated at minimum $1,000,000 to LGBTQA+ charities.

- she got Apple Music to change their platform to ensure other artists got paid, even though it did not effect her.

- GoFundMe changed their policy due to her large donations.

- she’s donated countless amounts of money to schools.

- she’s an activist for a woman’s right to choose

- she publicly apologized to Nicki after she misunderstood that Nicki was talking about racism, and not attacking other women. Nicki publicly defended her after that.

- she wrote a song dedicated to Kayne after the VMA incident saying she forgives him.

- she’s been an activist against slut shaming.

- she choose to speak out against trump despite a room full of MEN telling her not to.

- she finally opened up about her eating disorder, which for me and other survivors of them, was empowering, and gave hope to those still suffering.

- she’s spent the past 2 years publicly sharing her defense with minority groups in America, while also recognizing her privilege, knowing that she isn’t a part of most of them.

- when Hayley Kiyoko used Taylor’s heterosexual privilege as an example against her homophobic experiences, Taylor publicly defended her and admitted that Hayley was being attacked due to her sexuality, and the two have since become best friends.

- Taylor wrote a whole entire song about supporting the LGBTQA+ community, and EVERY person in that video was apart of that community, yes, including trans people and people of color. But y’all would be rejoicing if literally any other artist did that.

- Taylor has spent millions upon millions of dollars for charitable causes.

But yeah, keep telling me how her amazing activism now won’t ever trump her previous ignorance.

I suggest all of you to watch her Netflix documentary, maybe y’all become a little less sexist.

My birthday is Monday and I’ve had to cancel LITERALLY every fucking thing, but Taylor finally getting her voice back in the Kayne situation is the best gift I could ask for.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[going2go-away4-awhile]

This isn’t What I Wanted: Chapter 4- The Miracle of Anger

Summary: Waking up in a hospital is always alarming, waking up in Hope County Hospital is terrifying. Suddenly thrust into a body that isn't hers and knowing nuclear fallout is on the horizon. Adaine must gather supplies while she can before the big day happens, and trying to stay clear of a radical cult is easier said than done.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25543036/chapters/62343265

TW: Brief mentions of Death and Torture  

   She looked rough, but what should he have expected from a former dead person. He could tell she was scared of them, from the way her hand tightly gripped the door knob, to the way her eyes were dilated. Jacob watched as she shifted nervously in the door frame in thought, before she motioned them into her house. The smell of cleaning products and fresh linens entered his senses as he took in the older house. From the lack of care around the outside of the property, coupled with boxes pushed against one another labeled with “Sell”; Jacob knew this wasn’t her  home.  She hadn’t settled into the place, there weren't any personal touches: no knick-knacks or photo frames of her life or her interests. It reminded him of open houses ones his foster parents went to.

  Easing himself in a kitchen chair, he declined her offer for a drink, and watched her move around the kitchen preparing John some coffee. Jacob raked her over, accessing the miracle his brothers were enamored with. She was a pretty thing and had a healthy glow to her. He noted he wasn’t the only Seed in the room to be taking in the sights. John wasn’t hiding his interest in the slightest, and Joseph's gaze was just as intense as it usually was. Jacob kept quiet as the woman and his brothers chatted, it was nothing of interest; though the tension could be cut with a knife.

It seemed that Joseph was done being a normal house guest and got to the reason they were here. “Ms. Adaine, we apologize for stopping by unannounced. But, I have come to tell you that I have seen you in my visions. I have seen you die and live again.” Now when people normally heard his brother’s prophecies they scoffed it off or even laughed at him, however Ms. Adaine here didn’t do any of that. In fact she didn’t do much of anything. Just sat there with a glazed look over her eyes. Jacob tuned out the rest of Joseph’s speech, and focused on Adaine. She didn’t fidget under the brothers’ eyes, she didn’t rebut Joseph’s claims, just sat and listened. He shifted ever so slightly to test her alertness. Her eyes unfocused and narrowed in on his form. Good situational awareness, she still knows there’s danger in the room. Good girl.  

She interrupted Joseph’s talk with a very interesting question, “So you know everything?”

_____________________________________________________________

   Adaine wished she could leave, she wished she could make them leave. He knew, they all knew.  She could feel her brain start shutting down in panic. Of course he got visions of her, why wouldn’t he? She wanted to throw up, I just wanted to duck my head down and live a relatively normal existence. But why did she ever think that anything would be normal again after waking up in a video game? She wanted to scream and rage, this isn’t fair. Nothing about this was fair. She was trying to rebuild her life. A life that was taken from her, over a stupid mistake to go on a walk. But man bun Jesus over there just couldn’t leave her alone. He just had to know about a walking dead girl. A miracle he called her, a new age Lazarus. A gift sent from God himself. So that’s all she was? Not a person, but an object? Fuck his visions, fuck his cult, and fuck his stupid ass family.  

A movement across the table, brought her back from the brink. She can’t lose focus, not when the devil himself is at her dinner table.  

Adaine knows what they’ve done and what they’ll do. How does she approach this? Joseph in his long winded spiel hadn’t mentioned her other worldliness. Knowing how the Seeds are, this won’t be their last visit to her place (and hopefully they won’t just take her to their place). With them lurking at her doorstep then it was only a matter of time before something slipped and they figured out she knew things. Very valuable things. She would be branded as a liar, a sinner. Adaine shuddered, she knew what they did to sinners. Burnt Corpses, people being kept in cages like animals, skin carved off the flesh, bodies poised like Christ’s on buildings, and walking corpses pumped full of Bliss. No, she had the slimmest chance of making it out alive by telling them things, and she would risk it. If she also had an even smaller chance of preventing total war in Hope County she would do it in a heartbeat.

 “So you know everything?”

Only the quiet breathing of the people in the room was heard for a minute. Joseph's eyes focused back on hers, and spoke in a solemn tone, “About you? No, Adaine I’m at a loss about certain things. But, I’m sure with time we can all get to know you better. About your death? Yes, I’ve seen and felt what you’ve felt.” He started offering her a warm smile but it went away with the shaking of her head.

  Taking a deep breath in, she steeled her nerves and went for it. “No, I’m talking about how you weren’t real in my world.” A humorless smirk worked its way on her mouth, “This is crazy right? I bet you’re normally the one being looked at with disbelief.” Adaine had the brothers full attention now. “This is a video game, all of it. You’re just a story made from pixels.  Yet, I found myself here. I know this story, I know your stories, but most importantly I know the ending.” Staring deep into Joseph’s eyes she continued. “The project fails because you kicked the hornets nest again and again and again. Till finally the snake enters the garden and strikes your family dead. Your pride killed your family and everything you held dear. You lived past the bombs, but it really didn’t matter because you begged for death in the end. A shade of a man consumed by grief.” Adaine waited with baited breath for one of them to attack her, to kill her for speaking so disrespectfully to The Father. She found herself not caring, if she was to die right now then she at least got to say her piece.

Watching her could be attackers, Adaine noted that John and Joseph seemed rattled, but she couldn’t get a grasp on Jacob's body language. Adaine watched as John’s shaking hands reached and grasped Joseph’s arm. “Tell me she’s lying, please Joseph, tell me she’s lying.”

  Grasping his baby brother’s hand he responded hoarsely, “No John, I’m afraid she’s not. I’ve seen the possibility- but I was doing it right. I thought I was doing it right.” Adaine watched as he gulped down air, before settling himself. “ This is why you’re here. This is the reason God sent you to us, a warning of our ways, we’ve sinned.” Quicker than she could react, Joseph’s hands now held hers in a warm tight grip. His thumb stroked the back of her hand as he spoke to her, “Thank you Adaine.” The look on his face could be a kin to that of a worshiping man at the altar.

  Holding her gaze he addressed his brothers, “If she’s here then the collapse is soon upon us. We need to meet with the project and discuss further plans.” Before Adaine could tell him off, no this wasn’t what I meant, you loon.  A knock sounded at her door once again that day. If that’s the Deputy themselves I’ll walk into that bunker and never leave.

  She watched as John and Jacob left the room to answer her door, still her hands still held by Joseph’s. Adaine felt her face grow hot under his intense look on her face. It was mostly her own discomfort at the situation but a small,very small voice in her head whispered. When's the last time anyone looked at you like that? Like you hung the moon and stars just by being there? Adaine wasn’t dumb, she knew Joseph liked what she had to offer and not her. However, it was nice to be appreciated, even for the wrong reason, every once and awhile.

  Hearing a familiar deep voice from the front of the house told her who her visitor was. Pulling her hands away from Joseph’s, Adaine made her way into the foyer. Scooching past Jacob’s imposing form, she came to rest beside John. Who sounded like he was in the middle of a small gloating fest.

“-Already looking for more members Pastor Jeffries? It’s a shame to say the lovely Ms. Adaine is not interested in joining such a small congregation.” A scowling Pastor Jeffries stood on her front step, clearly agitated by John’s needling.

  She tentatively placed a hand on John’s shoulder to shut him up. “Thank you Mr. Seed but I believe I can accept and decline invitations on my own accord.” She let her hand fall as she walked out to properly greet the Pastor. “Hello Pastor Jeffries it's good to see you again so soon.” She made a move to follow the man off the porch to talk away from the brothers, but a noise of disapproval from Jacob made Adaine stop and continue the conversation here. Nosy controlling bastards.

  Pastor Jeffries rightfully looked worried between her and the brothers. “I had heard from a friend that Mr. Seed was looking for you, but I can see he’s already found you. I wanted to stop and let you know Ms. Adaine that if you need anything at all, please call me.” Adaine was once again struck on how good the Pastor was. He helped her when his congregation had fallen apart: giving her a ride home when she had no one, getting her help with her house, and now he showed up personally to make sure she was okay. If this man ever needs help from me, he’ll find it 10 times over.  

  “Yes the Brothers came and visited today. I know that I’ll always have help from a friend.” He blinked in surprise then grinned at her. They spoke for a minute more before he parted in goodbye with a promise to call her tomorrow. Probably to check if she’s still breathing.

  Before he could get in his truck and leave, Jacob’s voice stopped him. “Tell your friend Eli I said hello.” Are all the Seeds this petty? The pastor paused and nodded at Jacob before leaving. What felt like the millionth time today Adaine sighed, before a yawn over took it. She was exhausted, today was too much. Her brain hurt as did her body.  A chuckle from the door, pulled her attention back to her guests.

  Joseph gently ushered his brothers out of her home. “It seems to be getting late Adaine, we’ll take our leave for the night. I’ll make sure one of us is back up tomorrow to keep you company.” With a final wave from Joseph and John, all three climbed into a black SUV and left her standing alone on her porch.

 Fuck my life.                          

[narperist]

Long post ahead;

Dominique, since you’ve been trying to drag me into this lately, here is your response. You wat me in? You’ll get me in. 

Firstly, before anything, let’s scientificly analyze the video Miss Haughton has posted, shall we?

PS; I will be using a lot of screenshots, etc in this, to point out my words even further and to make it easier for folks to understand. Since i will be using body language and facial micro-expressions to point out her behaviour, etc, i will use example photos of others aswell to compare so you will understand better. My entire video analysis will be based on science, studies on the face, micro expressions, etc. Because no matter how well someone may be able to lie or fake an emotion, or hide an emotion, faces don’t lie. And it’s the same in everyone, no matter who you are, what race, age, gender you are.

Right off the bat, the constant movement of hands and the body, that’s how a human body shouts nervousness and anxiety.

As she says “My blog has been pretty inactive”, look close to her lips, do you see the mouth shrug? A big lip shrug. That expression of one’s face is guilt. I’m unsure if she feels guilty for not being active, or guilty of the reason she is inactive. It’s also an expression on makes when they have no confidence in what they are saying. 

Example comparison; 

“I stepped away from Tumblr.... “ pause “Mostly for my mental health”. The eye movement whilst the words spoken, shows Miss Haughton was unsure of how to form that senteance. As she says she struggles really hard with seasonal depression, her face is sincere. So my condolences for that you suffer from such thing.

She enforces her senteance “i struggle with speech, i DON’T like it” with hand gestures. Pretty convincing. Though, the small curl on the corner of her lips does tell otherwise. It seems she almost enjoys speaking out like so.

Again, while speaking about stepping away from tumblr, an expression of shame appears on her face. Once again, unsure if it’s because she is shamed of why she stepped away, or that she stepped away.

Example comparison; 

Also, don’t think it’s gone without being noticed, it is quite clear that you highly dislike Nicole. There is a big expression of contempt on your face while you mention her. One side of the lip tightened, pulled slightly, it’s a very clear micro expression. You say you would sit down with her and speak over things, but you contempt her.

Example comparison; 

Miss Haughton, are you sure you want to discuss this matter you’re speaking of in the video? Because there is anger painted all over your face while you say you’re going to discuss it. Adding up with the expressions of shame, etc from earlier, i hope you know even only 3 minutes into your video, it is clear that you are being pushed into filming this.

Example comparison;

It’s also almost amusing when you lie. “I refuse to make assumtions about people”, couldn’t be any less clear of a lie. Classic one sided shoulder shrug. You had no confidence in your words, you knew you were lying when you said that. Amusing.

Damn, here’s a face of BIIIIG contempt. You didn’t even attempt to hide this one.

Example comparison;

“And i had never told Gerard this. I have never told Gerard....” Repeating senteances, enforcing your statement. Of course you told Gerard about it. My, you’re a terrible liar, aren’t you?

“When Gerard was telling me about his ex, he never used the word ‘crazy’ “. Girl. GIRL.... I literally have a voice record from Gerard himself where he says “i have a crazy ex who’s after to ruin my fucking life and likes to lie alot”. His exact fucking words. I can post that voice record from him if you want, just ask!

Why are you holding that pen against your lips? That’s a unconscious ‘shush’ motion. What do you have to say that you had to unconsciously shush yourself to stop?

“He never once called her crazy”

You know what, your face says it all. I don’t even need to word out this one;

What are you so anxious about when you’re talking about calling Nicole ‘crazy’? Put your voice on an analyzer program, you can very easily hear the rising nervousness in your voice. Next.

Let’s move from facial micro expressions into the body language a little. Legs crossed, knees pulled up to the chest, arms crossed over the legs on the bottom side. That’s vulnerability. Once more adding up to everything; you have no confidence in anything you are talking about. You are afraid. You are unconsciously shouting with your body and face that you don’t want to be here and don’t want to be doing this. Makes me wonder if Gerard is there with you to watch while he’s (probably) making you record this.

Man, the lack of confidence when you say “I’m an adult” is almost sad. You’re not trying to make us believe you’re an adult, you’re actually trying to make yourself believe that you’re an adult but you know that you aren’t. It’s sad.

“He never knew me as a minor. He NEVVVVER knew me as a minor”. Once again, repeating of senteance to enforce it onto people to believe. You know that senteance is a lie, which is why you’re especially pushing that senteance to ensure people believe it. Next.

I’m going to skip ahead a bit and cut this post shorter because i ain’t got the time to detail out every single second of this thing.

Why is your voice shaking a lot halfway through this now? Don’t bother answering, we know the answer. What are you so afraid of, though? Was he there with you while you recorded?

On the side from this all, i just want to add my own comment on one thing you say,

One of your biggest goals of life is to get married? Really? Are you THAT shallow of a person? And you wonder why everyone says you’re too young to understand things or questions your intelligence. 

I see you have a lot of confidence while talking about your job and you  are proud of it. I’m glad to see that. Very good for you, lass.

Voice pitch getting higher again, you’re starting to talk faster too. And again, you are shouting that you are nervous. My dude, are you okay?

Skipping the getting a text, walking out of the mall with the security, etc part, because there isn’t much to say about that period.

Nicole didn’t out his deadname. He outed it himself, putting it up on a public page for all to see. She only pointed that out.

Speaking of which, what the fuck do you think you’re doing posting screenshots of a private conversation between Nicole’s family member with her username up out there visible. You *know* about the amount of people that support/defend you and go to attack Nicole and other people because of the things you say. Can you not think that because of that you’ve also given those people another person to go and attack? 

Around after that, for a good while, there’s just discomfort on your face and body language. I’m not going to take the time to screenshot and point out every single one, but you’ll know what i mean when looking at the video. You’re just so uncomfortable and discouraged, and from time to time, your pupils dialate. There’s fear in your eyes here and there. Are you really that afraid of him?

By the Outsider’s name, this is getting hard to watch. Nearly anyone with the smallest bit of understanding of body language and voice reading can easily tell that you’re being forced to make this video and say what you’re saying. That you’re afraid, uncomfortable, discouraged. If he’s going to force you to make these kind of things, tell him to at least teach you how to lie better so that next time (if) i ever write out something like this, i’ll at least have more fun doing the analysis.

Ah, here it is. Increasing of cussing, another period of voice increasing. Nervous, aren’t you?

Another expression of guilt and shame. Why are you feeling guilty after saying that Nicole “needs help”? Here’s a wild guess, maybe it’s because he is making you say it? Such a mindblowing idea, ain’t it?

Skipping forward a bit more again, because i’m bored.

Sidenote, don’t call my sister a bitch again.

Oh, you’re bringing my name into this now, i see. (Which is also the entire reason i’m finally speaking up now. I’ve kept silent about this whole thing for a long time, but if you’re going to keep bringing up my name and pull/drag me into this, then i will come in. You want me in this? I will be in this. I’ll fucking enter it like Aragorn entered Helm’s Deep.)

I’ll talk about that whole thing involving me in another thing, this post is for analyzing the video. So, give it a while, i’ll get to that too.

And don’t think i didn’t realize you called me “she” in that video. 

Moving on,

Again, just more discourage and discomfort, visibly forced to say what you’re saying. I’m starting to get tired and feel like i’m repeating myself like a roken record here. So i’ll skip more.

Nevermind. There isn’t really anything else to say about this except repeating myself over and over. So yeah. Here’s another episode of “face&body-reading-with-your-local-plague-doctor”. Enjoy your day.

@moonflaws 

[parkersvibes]

finding out peter is spiderman

read part one here

a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:

(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )

warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst

pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader

• figuring out he was spiderman

• alright you’re a stark

• but no one knows that

• but you’re really intuitive

• so there were little things you started to notice

• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)

• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses

•and i guess started almost bulking up????

• he got WAY taller

• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him

• holy mother of god

• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT

• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK

• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs

• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??

• must be nice

• but then things got more sus

• all of a sudden he was skipping class more

• leaving early

• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned

• and you and ned were clueless

• you and ned started hanging out more

• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU

• he was like this little ball of happiness

• you found out his real name is Edward

• HOW CUTE

• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD

• ngl pete got a bit jealous

• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN

• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”

• “hm”

• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”

• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”

• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”

• “wdym?”

• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”

• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”

• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”

• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now

• “ned i just. it’s complicated”

• “like peter’s family?”

• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”

• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”

• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”

• “what’re their names”

• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING

• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”

• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA

• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”

• natasha was gonna have your ass

• “y/n,,,”

• “yeah”

• “you’re a horrible liar”

• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”

• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr

• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”

• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”

• so you told him the truth. you were a stark

• and well,,, he reacted with

• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”

• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy

• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology

• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky

(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)

• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers

• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”

• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*

• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*

• only the two of you getting vine and meme references

• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)

• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”

• anywaayyy

• ned was SHOOK

• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”

• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”

• *led to him asking 100000 questions*

• “does Mr. America smell like old man”

• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”

• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”

• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”

• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”

• “do they ever chafe in their suits”

• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”

• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth

• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD

• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”

• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same

• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned

• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”

• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”

• “peter cmon, it’s just me”

• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out

• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)

• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard

• ouch

• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt

• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone

• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault

• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it

• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”

• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”

• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings

• so you closed off

• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong

• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”

• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”

• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”

• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”

• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”

• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”

• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore

• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff

• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy

• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine

• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”

• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”

• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“

• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet

• needless to say

• your jaw dripped

• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”

• *seconds pass*

• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”

• *silence*

• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”

• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“

• spiderman- “y/n”

• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE

• you- “p-peter???”

• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”

• you- “so-something like that yeah”

• peter takes off his mask

• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”

• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”

• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*

*insert silence*

• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone

• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”

• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*

• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”

• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)

• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”

• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”

• you- “why didn’t you tell me”

• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)

• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”

• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*

• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON

• you stepped closer to him

• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”

• “no more secrets?”

• “no more secrets”

• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME

• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY

• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment

• wow he is really cozy

• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*

• led to MANY questions at dinner

• and so everything went back to “normal”

• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word

• WHAT

• so much for no secrets

taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238

some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites

[forkanna]

NOTE: Guys... I appreciate your interest in FTF III. Really. But poking me about it repeatedly will not make it appear faster. Especially stop asking on a completely different fanfic, it is a bit rude. Thanks in advance!

[AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

The room fell deathly silent. Chie had already known she made a mistake the instant the words left her lips, and the knowledge only hit her harder the more seconds ticked by. A little at a time, her head creaked around to look at her best friend.

Yukiko was crouching on the top step, legs out to one side. She still looked so elegant in her pretty kimono, despite the look of pure shock marring her flawless features. Helpless again. Chie knew her shadow had a point — that she did enjoy being able to protect her friend when she couldn't protect herself. The point of contention was that she didn't specifically want Yukiko to be helpless.

But who wouldn't feel a certain pride in being someone's Prince?

"Chie," she was breathing in dismay, the full blush flooding her cheeks bringing her crashing back to the present. "You… c-come on, you know I don't like those kinds of jokes. This isn't funny."

"You say that like she's joking," Other-Chie laughed harshly as she forcibly bent Other-Yukiko over, hand already twisted into her silky black locks. When did she get up there? Her princess only gasped and obeyed; no resistance whatsoever. "She's wanted to bang you since forever."

"I have not!" Swinging back around, she assured her, "Seriously, I haven't. That's a straight up lie!"

"It's really not. This right here? What we're doing?" She brought her hand down on the black lace-clad hindcheek, and both Yukikos yelped in response. "You've been dreaming about doing it for a long, long time, haven't you? Almost a year. Every time you look at this plump little ass."

"STOP. That's a lie! I d-don't even know about this kind of stuff!"

"Neither do I," her best friend whispered.

"We sure don't," Other-Yukiko giggled. "But we like it. And we're really, really curious about more…"

Other-Chie grinned wide, leaning against her princess's hip for a moment to gaze at the two best friends. "Ohh, Yukiko's too simple to lie, and too pure and naive to ever have a kinky thought in her whole life. She really means that. But her prince is another story. She knows about this stuff, and she keeps thinking about it." Now she ran her fingers down to press against the lace-shrouded crotch, earning a gasp and a whimper from its owner. "Every time they were in the showers together… every trip to the pool, every time they tried on outfits in the Junes clothing department… the prince was checking out the princess. Dark little thoughts swirling around in her head."

"You got it all wrong," Chie growled through her teeth. "She's my best. Friend. I don't think those- c'mon, I'm not that kinda girl! Really! This… this fucking thing is lying!"

"You know I'm not." Other-Chie was suddenly next to them both, sitting on the floor. Yukiko drew back in shock but Chie stooped down to catch her hand up, trying to lend support.

"You are. I never did that! NEVER! I don't 'check her out' every time!"

"Well…" With a tiny shrug, the shadow relented, "Maybe I'm stretching the truth. But you also know I'm not lying. I'm you, after all."

Before Chie could bite back that she most certainly was NOT her, Yukiko whispered, "What is she talking about?"

"Double-you… double-you… double-you." Other-Chie was smirking demonically as she went on, "Ex, aych, ay, em-"

"Whoa, whoa," Chie laughed nervously, holding up her other hand to ward off her double. "Y-you don't need to keep going! That doesn't matter, i-it's no big deal."

"Why not? You afraid sweet, chaste Princess Snow White will find out you're the Prince of Darkness?"

The remark on her name was almost cute. Chie could appreciate it; "Yukiko" meant "Snow Child", after all. But given that it was coming from this vile creature, she couldn't quite enjoy the turn of phrase as much as she might normally.

"What is she talking about?" Yukiko asked. When her friend didn't answer, she gripped her hand a little tighter with both of her own. "Chie…?"

"It's nothing. Really." Silence. "It was one time."

"One time that lasted a few hours," Other-Chie added, examining her nails as she rose to her feet, towering over both of them. Intimidating them. The real Chie kept her eyes on the floor while she explained; better that it come from her than this sham standing in front of them.

"S-so… I, um… I overheard some of the boys in class talking about some porn site one day. And that night, I went to it, and- but I was only curious, okay? I wanted to know why so many guys do that! Like, what was the big deal?" Swallowing hard, she felt her breath coming faster and shallower as she went on, "Wh-what she's talking about is… I watched one video with two girls… and… it was… really weird, but I couldn't look away, and uh…"

She had been trying to build up to it gently. Leave it to her doppelganger to blurt out with no filter, "And I couldn't help thinking, 'Would Yukiko do that with me?'"

"NO! That is not what I thought!"

"The fuck it isn't, you liar," she laughed. "It's exactly what you thought."

"I thought it for one second. Like, because one of the girls had long black hair! I-it wasn't something I wanted to try with her, not really, it was just a… I'm not like that! Really, I'm not a pervert, and I'm not a yuri! Everybody has thoughts that just… push… into their brains, even when they-"

The moment she felt Yukiko's hands pull away was the moment a light inside of her went out. Her voice fell silent, and her eyes swivelled to see pure disgust radiating off Yukiko. To her credit, she wasn't doing it in a condescending, holier-than-thou way. Her friend was genuinely shocked and alarmed by any such thoughts about her — which was no surprise. Even Yosuke simply commenting that she looked 'hot' in her kimono one day had earned him a slap across the face.

"Yuki-chan… I'm…" Her face began to crumple. "I didn't mean it… I… didn't…"

"Can we leave?" she asked her, eyes averting. "Th-this place is… terrible. I think… we should just get out of here, a-and forget we were ever anywhere besides Inaba."

"Listen to her, pretending she doesn't want to leave Inaba," Other-Yukiko giggled as she pushed her hips backward, eagerly awaiting more pleasure.

"Listen to both of them," Other-Chie cooed as she ground her hips against one of her fellow shadow's. "Is Prince Charming gonna cry? Because she got caught with her hand down her pants, thinking about bending her best friend over and eating her pussy like breakfast?"

Teeth gritting hard, she snarled at the other one, "STOP. I never, ever did that."

"But you wanted to. Can't lie to yourself, Prince; just because you didn't give into temptation doesn't mean you weren't tempted. Just talked yourself out of having some fun for once."

Completely defeated, Chie simply curled in on herself. Eyes watering, heart tight in her chest. And the worst part was… she could tell she was vaguely turned on. Too much attention had been called to her dalliances in the past, and knowing Yukiko knew was part of it. Being able to see Yukiko's exposed body — even if it was a copy being controlled by an otherworldly monster — was another. Either way, it only added to her anguish instead of being anything she could remotely enjoy.

"I'm sorry," she finally croaked out. "Yukiko… I didn't… you're my best friend, I…"

"She is not. She's our pet dog that we can do whatever we want with, remember? Just like Muku! And with this dog, that should include… a little show and tell. Like this." One hand pulled the leash now attached to the other Yukiko's collar taut as the other glided in a wide circle on her ass, then slapped it again — earning a squeal from its owner. "Which you love."

"We both love it," Other-Yukiko moaned aloud with a shiver.

"What?!" the real one gasped. "I do not! And I've never done such things, anyway, so how dare you claim I w-would ever like something like that!"

The doppelganger's golden eyes narrowed as she scoffed. "Really? So maybe you aren't chomping at the bit to join me up here. However, as much as you want to pretend your only reaction is disgust, we both know the idea is… interesting. You've never seen anything like this before, thought about it before, or had anyone confess to finding you attractive. Well, no one that you find attractive in return. And this calls to you in a way you've never experienced before. Right?"

Now, her best friend's deep, dark eyes were wide as dinner plates. "Attractive? Chie? I… sh-she is, but I'm not interested in other women. So that… doesn't count. Right?"

"What?" Chie blinked up at her. "Wait, whoa, really? You think I'm hot?"

"I didn't say 'hot'!" she hissed. "I said you're attractive!"

Waving that notion away with her hand, she said, "Come on, I am not. Like… you're so much prettier than me."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," her clone chuckled as she gripped the other clone's pussy hard through her panties, grinding her fingers against it. Both of their originals looked away in shame at the display, trying not to hear the quavering moan that resulted.

"That's not true," Yukiko whispered. "You're very pretty. And cool, and strong — and funny! And I don't think I'm as cute as you do, I'm… so plain, and uninteresting. You're unique, like a glorious peacock."

Chie's eyebrows shot up. "A peacock? Who, me? No way!"

"Yes, you are." For just a half-second, Yukiko smiled, and everything felt like it was alright again. Then the smile fell away. "Oh… is that not acceptable to say? Because you like women?"

"No, it's fine. Wait! Wh-what I mean is… I'm not into women, either! Like, why would I be?" Then she laughed a little too loud to be believable, which eventually turned into a sigh. "But I guess… I've never thought about guys that much, either."

Her shadow kissed her way up Other-Yukiko's thigh as she muttered, "You won't admit it for some reason. Why, you may ask? The answer might surprise you!"

"Don't…"

"It's because you're scared. Aren't you? That all your friends and family will see you differently if they know you're a dirty, dirty muff-diver."

"I am NOT, though! Seriously, what muff have I dived- doved. Doven?"

Yukiko giggled a little. When Chie looked at her in shock, she shrugged and whispered, "What? That phrase is already funny, and you can't… change the tense, so you…" The snickering got worse.

"This is SO not the time to have one of your giggle-fits!"

"Okay, okay." But despite her assurance, she started giggling again, anyway. In no time, her arms were wrapped tightly around her sides as her entire body shook with laughter. It was ridiculously unsuited for their current situation, and yet…

And yet, all of her fear and anxiety and self-disgust seemed to grow smaller. To lose its edge. That vortex of negative emotions within her became little more than the fog that settled over Inaba after a few days' rain; not nothing, but nothing to be overly concerned about on its own.

"Awww, look at you two, bonding and sharing a moment," Other-Chie cooed as she rubbed Other-Yukiko's crotch harder and faster, lips getting closer and closer. The clone of her best friend was becoming unmade, just as the girl in the video she had watched did. Almost exactly like that, in fact…

And that was when it really hit Chie. This was an exact repeat of the scene she had watched in the video, with one or two slight variations and some supervillain dialogue thrown in. As much as she had tried to deny it before, how could she pretend otherwise with so much evidence stacked against her?

"CHIE!"

Both of them whirled to look behind them at the doors as they burst open. In the lead was Yu Narukami, his washed-out grey head of hair gleaming in the light from the chandelier and torches lining the walls. In his hands was a golf club, which looked no more badass than his usual school uniform, but somehow he cut an imposing figure regardless. Right on his heels was Yosuke Hanamura, floppy brown hair flying out behind him as he skidded to a halt behind their leader, ever-present headphones adorning his neck like a bizarre ascot as he raised two gleaming daggers.

"Yukiko!" Yu demanded. "Are you alright?"

"OH NO!" Chie gasped out as she shot to her feet, took one look over her shoulder at the scene still being re-enacted on the dais, and held her arms wide. "Wh-what are you guys doing here?"

Yosuke looked confused, though still alert for any sign of a shadow attack. "What do you mean? Like… we're here to rescue Yukiko, right? And maybe you, since you ran off like that, you idiot!"

"I'm not an idiot! And… and everything's fine, you can leave! Go on, shoo!"

"Y-yes!" Yukiko said as she finally stood, doing the same as Chie. Apparently, they had tacitly agreed that they didn't want the boys seeing what their doppelgangers were doing just behind them. "We're fine! In fact, if you… will please immediately leave, we will follow you! In just a few seconds!"

"Leave?" demanded Yu, his eyes narrowed. He never said much, all things considered.

"Dude, so not gonna happen," Yosuke scoffed. "We're not letting you out of our sight! This place is totally dangerous!"

"Listen to them," Other-Chie cackled in her strangely out-of-sync voice from behind them. "Soooo dangerous… for your reputations."

Chie had to grit her teeth and slam her eyes shut for a moment. There would be no pretending that was her talking; the tone was too different, too paranormal and bizarre. Plus, they had been watching her like a hawk and would have seen that her lips didn't move.

"Are those… your shadows? Behind you?"

"Don't look!" Yukiko urged, and Chie grimaced; she had been hoping not to draw more attention to them, which was exactly the kind of thing a phrase like 'don't look' would do. "Please, look away! This is too obscene!"

"Obscene?" Yosuke asked, genuinely surprised. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means none of your business, you jerk," Chie snapped. "Come on, just… we can deal with this, a-and you guys-"

"Let them decide for themselves if they want to see the show," her clone purred as she stoked her counterpart's flames of passion higher and higher. "After all, you want them to know, don't you?"

Other-Yukiko giggled, "Not me. I don't want anybody to know how much I love what you're doing to me. But still… kinda curious what their reactions would be. So why not?"

Yu and Yosuke glanced at each other, shrugged, and began to approach the steps cautiously. Chie held up a hand to stop them, but she couldn't seem to get any more words out; she was too terrified of what they would do once they got to the top.

"Alright," Yu said firmly as they climbed. "Whatever you do… do not deny that your shadows are you. It will enrage them and cause them to become stronger, and turn on us."

"What do you mean?!" Yukiko gasped, trying to move her arms to cover the show behind them more completely. "Th-there's no- wait, please, just stay where you are!"

"Now you got me curious," Yosuke teased lightly as he smirked up at them. They had stopped halfway up the steps, but it was obvious they wanted to keep going. "What's going on back there? It sounds a little, uh… different than it was with my shadow."

"Nothing's going on! Please, just go back the way you-"

"Wait." Clearing her throat, Chie asked them, "What you said, a second ago… about not denying them. Like… aren't these just monsters, trying to copy our faces and do upsetting things? Like… like that one thing in Harry Potter?"

"Well, kinda," Yosuke sighed, becoming serious again. "They're a part of you. Like, something about this place, the world in the TV… it brings out the thoughts you don't wanna accept. Makes you face them. But if you reject them, you just gotta actually fight them with your fists instead."

"If we reject them… then they get upset…"

"This is insane!" Yukiko was babbling. And Chie could almost feel the two behind them listening intently, thirsty to hear said denial. "How can you think these things are us? Th-that's- you can't be serious! This is not m-"

"WAIT!"

Everyone fell silent, watching Chie carefully as she trembled on the spot. Then she pointed at the two boys, silently commanding them to stay put, before she turned back to look at the shadows.

"May I help you?" her own mocked with a slight smile. And now she could see that she had finally moved her Yuki's panties aside and had two fingers deep inside of her. The sight sent a mighty surge down to her own lower extremities, but she had to stay strong — had to ignore that heat and focus on what needed to be done. If she couldn't even do this, then she had no right to call herself Yukiko's Prince.

"You really are me, aren't you?"

Other-Chie smirked and nodded. "Yep. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this is all you."

"No… not really. But it's… things I've thought about. Isn't it?" She took a step forward. "You're what I would be if I didn't care about what other people thought… what my friends think. Like, a totally selfish version of me."

"Nothing wrong with being a little selfish now and then," she countered with a shrug as she caused more and more screams to spill from Other-Yukiko's lips. Just like in the video. By the tone, it was obvious she would be finished soon.

"Fine. Maybe… maybe you're right. But I accept you, so it's time for you t-"

"Wait, hang on," she asked, and an uncharacteristic pleading look had entered her expression. "Let me finish her off. Please… I probably won't get another chance, you know."

Chie didn't know that, because she didn't understand most of what was going on, but she was definitely caught off guard. But it seemed cruel to deny her this; they had already gone so far as it was. "Um… f-fine, hurry up."

"What… are you doing?" Yukiko herself turned, and her eyes went as round as her mouth once her jaw dropped open. "Oh! Oh my GOD!"

Now they were both watching their other selves engage in this display of debauchery. A quick glance over at Yukiko showed that she was definitely not hating it as much as she protested, even if the disgust had been genuine. As she said herself, she hated 'jokes' like these. Anything remotely sexual had been met with stern disapproval in the past. Maybe this would change now that she had been confronted by the darkest desires of her own heart.

"Uhhhh, girls?"

"CAN IT!" Chie snapped back at Yosuke. "Just… we're going to let them finish, since they're us, a-and then we'll accept them! That's supposed to stop them from hurting anyone, right?"

"Sure," he said, and a glance showed that his cheeks were flushed. "But like, it's cruel for us to hear what's happening and not be allowed to look…"

"You don't get to see this! Like, no way, are you crazy?! Just get out of here, already!"

"We can't," Yu said, even though he was clearly a little flustered. "Not when your safety is a concern." And from Yu, she actually believed him.

"Yeah, your safety." Yosuke, she did not believe.

"Yeah!" Other-Yuki was gasping out, hips rolling back against the punishing fingers. "A-almost there, Chie-chan! More! Give me more!"

"You got it!" Harder and harder, she punished her insides. "And you're going to call me 'Prince', aren't you?"

"OH! Yes, my Prince! YES! MMmhhhHHHHH!"

By now, there wasn't a face in that throne room that was any colour besides scarlet. The real versions of Chie and Yukiko watched their counterparts finish up their carnal act, sweat running down the sides of their faces… and something else running down the insides of their thighs. Both of them. It was obscene, but also somehow romantic; it felt like a lot of that animosity between them had dissipated once she started admitting that this wasn't purely a lie.

"This… is so unseemly…" Yukiko couldn't form words. She glanced up at Chie's blushing face, then pushed a hand against her own mouth as she looked at their clones again. "How can you think they're really us? Look at this! It's… so…"

"They are," Chie sighed — and it would have been weary, except she felt anything but tired. "It's… really messed up, and I'm sorry. But she's a part of me. I just haven't wanted to admit it, because… I'm so disgusting. But it's true. She's me."

Other-Chie stood and withdrew her fingers as her clothes melted back into the same outfit the real one was wearing. And then she started getting lighter, and lighter. A transformation was taking place within the spectral form: a yellow jumpsuit taking the place of the metallic bikini, a pointed white helmet covering her head, and a double-bladed ko-naginata in one hand. While she could still be seen, she laughed warmly.

"Wow. We're stronger than I thought we were, Prince. Maybe there's hope for us yet."

And then she was gone. No, that wasn't quite right; she had become part of Chie again. She could feel it settling into the pit of her stomach; guilt, nausea, desire. Not that it had ever really been gone from her while the shadow-clone existed — it was just a little harder to ignore now than before. Plus she felt fatigued as if she had just run a dozen meters, but it was nothing that a good nap couldn't cure.

"She's gone!" Yukiko gasped.

"Yeah, thanks a lot," her own clone whimpered, frowning. "Only got me off once and now she went away. And my Prince won't play with me; only the other Prince."

"W-we already played with you," Chie sighed. "And I did help, like I promised. I put the collar on you, and… and I let my shadow make you feel good. Right? So can't you go back into Yukiko now?"

"That's not how it works. She has to accept me, remember? That I'm part of her. That she loved what she saw just now, even if she's so confused by most of it…"

Distressed, Yukiko shook her head back and forth. "P-please, stop all these games. This isn't true! You're not mhhhgg!"

It was Yosuke's hands that wrapped around her mouth to stop her. Yukiko started punching at them but he had a decent grip. The clone had flickered for a second, become brighter, and then lapsed back into the post-coital depressed creature she had been again.

"Whew!" Yu sighed as he came up to stand beside the others. "That was close."

"Yukiko, stop!" Yosuke told her urgently. "I know this is probably… weird, and a lot to take in, but you can't reject her! Or she'll attack! Just… just accept that she's part of you so we can all go home now!"

When Yukiko looked not only distressed, but angry, Chie came to stand in front of her and clamped her hands down on both of her shoulders. "I… I know. I didn't want to, either, because… because I didn't want you to see. I didn't want to admit I've ever thought such terrible things, a-about you, or about our friendship. They suck. But it's me who sucks, Yuki-chan. Seriously, I'm a jerk, I… most of the time I do okay, but sometimes really stupid stuff goes through my brain. And it's not on purpose but it's still not right. I'm gonna work on it, okay? I'll do better, I…" She cleared her throat and set her face in determination. "But Yosuke's right. You can't fight this; that is you down there. It's a piece of you that you don't like very much, but she's you, and… and if you deny it, you'll only make things worse."

It seemed to do the trick. Yukiko stopped struggling, and her two friends let their hands fall away. Hoping desperately she would make the right choice. It took her a few seconds of shivering and thinking before she took action.

"Um…" Hands on her knees, Yuki stooped down and knelt by the sobbing princess-clone. "Yukiko?"

"Y-yes?"

"You really miss your prince, don't you?"

"Of course!" she bawled. "One minute, I felt amazing, and n-now… now she's gone! I hate it! I need my prince — I need my Chie! What am I going to do without her?! I… nobody can tell me what to do but her!"

Fresh embarrassment sprouted in the real Yukiko's eyes, but she powered through. "It's okay. We'll stay by her side together. Is… is that what you want?"

"You… you promise?"

"I do. I'll do my best from now on. You and I will together, since you're… me. I guess."

Even though Yukiko's face could only be described as a mask of disgust, it still seemed that her clone was thrilled with her. A look of pure elation was on her features as she faded from existence… turning briefly into the image of an ancient priestess that took Chie's breath away. Beautiful pink-and-red flowers with long petals fanned out from her hands, and the white shape of a heart covered her rose-tinted chest. Her features were very nearly… alien.

But she barely had enough time to register that she had seen it before they heard a vaguely echoing "thank you", and she was gone.

"Oh wow, that's a-" Yosuke didn't get any further than that before Yukiko started to sag toward the floor. "Whoa! Hey, be careful!"

Chie was just able to help him keep her from whacking her head, and they gently lowered her to the steps. They had won; they beat those annoying shadows into submission and got them to vanish! Even though she was still a little worried about the way they transformed into someone else before fading back into the host bodies, it was better than fighting them, at least.

But now they had to get out of here. Through their combined efforts, all three of them were able to carry her all the way to the entrance of the throne room.

"Whew!" Chie gasped, sweat rolling down her temples. "When did… she get so… heavy?! She's taller than me but weighs the same!"

"And there's three of us," Yosuke grunted. "Like, somebody put this girl on a freakin' diet!"

"S… sorry," she just barely mumbled.

"It's okay, Yuki-chan," her best friend assured her as she staggered to a stop. "But I think I… need a little… break… m'kay?"

That was the last thing she could manage before the floor was surging up to meet her, two voices were crying out in shock, and total darkness stole over that other world.

                                                To Be Continued…