#and an all around waste of everything good anyone tried to do for me

[x-brik-x]

I'm seeing a lot of people say that punk fashion is expensive and inaccessible, which is very wrong. here is a list of some ways you can make punk fashion easier, cheaper and more accessible for you, since that's... kinda the whole point.

others are encouraged to add onto this!! (just don't recommend corporations like amazon. not cool.)

1. patches!! you don't need to buy them. DIY patches are not ugly or boring. in fact, they are encouraged here!! DIY, in my opinion, is always the best thing to do when it is an option and is safe to do so.

2. speaking of DIY, spikes!! you can make them!!

cut the top and bottom off of an empty can. cut down the middle of the cylinder and flatten it, so it's just a flat rectangle of metal.

cut out a shape that is kind of a third of a circle, but around 3/4 of the curved edge is taken up by triangle shapes. (I'm not very good at describing, so here's a badly drawn picture)

roll it into a cone, leaving the 4 triangles sticking out at the bottom. this bit is optional, but you can fill it with hot glue to make it more sturdy, just be careful touching the hot metal. I tend to hold the cone by one of the triangles with a bit of fabric wrapped around my fingers for this bit. cut 4 small holes in your fabric in this kind of shape:

and put the spiky bits of triangle through the holes. fold the triangles in on themselves to secure the spike in place. boom. spike obtained. this is one I made and attached to a little piece of fabric to test this method out:

3. battle vests!! (like the base jackets). the best places to buy these are charity shops and second hand websites in my opinion, but if anyone else knows any better options, please reblog with those!!

a good trick I find works well on eBay is to filter search results to your country (or state? can you do that in the US? idk) so that a: fast delivery because local, and b: all the sellers of everything that shows up are in YOUR TIME ZONE.

why is this important? when people sell something for really cheap, it goes FAST. check eBay at like, 2am or something. all the scalpers in your area are asleep. grab the cheap stuff while they can't.

4. sewing!! want patches, but can't sew for whatever reason? I've heard of a lot of people with joint conditions like arthritis complain about the inaccessibility of patch stuff, and that does sound extremely annoying, however:

safety pins!! while they are still a little fiddly, they're much less work so you don't have to fiddle about for long. if you can, you could even ask a friend to help, since it doesn't take long at all I'm sure someone will be willing to help out!! (I know I would, but that's just me, and I love this kind of thing). safety pins on clothes are also widely considered to be a symbol of solidarity, so if anything, you're adding some extra love and meaning to your patch pants/battle jacket.

if that's still too fiddly, fabric glue is always an option. unfortunately this means you won't be able to remove/reposition patches, at least without leaving a massive patch of residue, but if you're ok with that then fabric glue is probably your best bet.

for people who prefer sewing: as for where to get the thread, I've heard a lot of people recommending dental floss, as it's apparently much cheaper and works just as well. I haven't tried this myself so can't confirm that, but I thought I'd share it regardless.

5. where to get fabric!! old clothes. rip em up. you don't need any kind of fancy fabric from the craft store. my patches are made of old jeans that I grew out of.

don't have any old clothes and you don't want to waste any good ones? I'm not sure about other countries, but in the UK, as long as you're not on private property (trespassing), dumpster diving is perfectly legal.

I definitely ;) do NOT encourage ;) trespassing rich people's land ;) to steal from their dumpsters ;)

or tbh it doesn't matter too much how rich the person is, since it's all going to landfill anyway. if it's in the bin, it's free game, but you didn't hear that from me. ;)

please add onto this where you can!! and if I missed something or got anything wrong, add that on too!!

[praisethesuuun]

AAAHHHH. ANOTHER ROR FAN! It's so hard to find people who like it 😭

Anyways, if you take requests at the moment, what about headcanons Hades, Buddha, Loki and Posideon being just complete simps for reader? (If that's too many, just loki or Buddah is fine!)

Just met the person and suddenly, guess I'm in love now, oops!

Anyways, thanks a lot, hope you have a great day!

you're too kind😭😭❤️❤️ It's always so nice to receive such sweet words! Anyway, there you go hun<3 hope you like it

RoR characters headcanons: them being total simps for you!

POSEIDON

🌊This guy is hilarious: he refuses to admit that he's simping over someone. "Gods are perfect. They don't bond to anyone" Yeah...that's a lie-

🌊Hades was the first to notice that something was wrong with his brother, but he decided to stay silent and wait for him to talk about it. Needless to say, he bursted out laughing when Poseidon told him everything: from what he felt when you were near him, to the way your presence brings a breeze of happiness to the midst of the seedy Valhalla.

🌊Poseidon will try to approach you starting from very sneaky things. For example, his favorite thing to do is sit next to you during gods' meetings, scaring anyone in his way. Once he nearly got into a fight with Shiva, because he practically pushed him out of the seat next to you, nearly knocking him off the entire stairway.

🌊During his fight, he will repeatedly make eye contact with you, boasting about his strength and hoping you can notice him... somehow. "Look at me, you fool"

🌊Tsundere mode: on. Poseidon will literally insult you everytime you'll try to talk to him. This dumbass will regret it later alone in his castle.

HADES

☠️Unlike his brother, Hades is more confident, courting you in front of all the gods and calling you "My queen" whenever he can.

☠️He's not sneaky at all and isn't afraid to hide his feelings for you. The only thing that could stop him it's the realization that he could ruin your reputation: it's not the best to hang out with the king of the Underworld, many despise him and he doesn't want you to be treated the same way.

☠️Expect to find your room flooded with various gifts and love letters, each accompanied by a black rose. You often feel sorry for Hermes and wonder how he can carry all that stuff. Yet, you get excited every time you see him arrive with a package, decorated with a delicate purple bow.

☠️Hades is jealous. He does not hesitate to scold and intimidate any deity who tries to approach you, even going against his own brothers (especially Zeus)

☠️When you're alone, Hades wastes no time in jumping on you and filling you with love. If, on the other hand, you are attending a dinner or a meeting, he will place his hand on your hips, refusing to remove it. Plus, he'll kiss you softly without anyone noticing.

LOKI

🐍He will be so annoying! Loki will stick to you like a tick, bothering you as a sign of affection (what a brat...)

🐍He will play jokes on you all the time, immediately bursting out laughing at your reaction. However, if you were to feel bad, telling him that he exaggerated, he will apologize instantly, hugging you and reassuring you. "I'm sorry, please look at me, bunny. I'm sorry... I promise"

🐍Loki is the type to put little flowers in your hair without you noticing, enjoying the view from afar and admiring your beauty. Daisies look so good on you! How could he not enjoy such a view?

🐍You'll likely get involved whenever he makes a mess, and don't be surprised when you're treated like some sort of human shield. Even so, you've never gotten into trouble. Deep down you like it when he suddenly enters your room to hide from Thor, who wouldn't dare to do the same.

🐍Loki loves to float around you, acting like the perfect watchdog. It makes him feel like a perfect partner: protecting you with dedication and love. But there are negative (or positive) sides, of course dirty jokes can't miss: "Look what a nice temper you have, it wasn't like this last night when I-" "SHUT UP"

BUDDHA

🍬He is the boldest lover that could ever happen to you. If he wants to do something, he won't hesitate to do it, everyone knows that. Yet, when it comes to you he becomes totally a servant, without hiding it from others. Do you need something? Well, give him just a second-

🍬Count yourself lucky, Buddha loves you so much that he shares his secret stash of sweets with you! The pocky challenge is a must, but he's favourite thing to do is kissing you indirectly making you suck on the lollipop that he already had in his mouth.

🍬Every once in a while, he lets you find a little love letter on your pillow with a chocolate next to it. He knows he looks like a detached person who thinks only of himself, so he does everything to make you feel his closeness.

🍬Buddha always calls you names. "Come here, sweetie!" "Aww honey, are you angry?" "Gimme one of your sugar kisses, would ya?" He loves the way you blush every time he does it, you're such a cutie!

🍬He trusts you blindly, in fact he doesn't hesitate to ask you for help when he needs it. You protect each other and for Buddha this is one of the most important things in your relationship. Please, tell him how much you love him and don't hesitate to talk about your feeling! You are too important to him, so feel free to tell him everything you want.

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024 ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘You’re always here. What are you doing?’

‘Nothing…nothing in particular.’

‘You’re Saibara’s grandson, right? Aren’t you working at the Blacksmith shop?’

‘I’m not interested in that. I want to go back to the city.’

‘Oh… I came from the city, too. My dad moved the family to this village because he was going to study plants. I felt lonely at first. But the people here are all very kind.’

‘I don’t feel lonely. But I can’t find what I want to do in this village.’

‘What is it you want that you can’t find here?’

‘Well, it’s…oh, nothing…’

‘My mother always says that if you can’t find what you want to do, then do what you can see to do now. Nobody finds what they want immediately. But if you waste your time every day because of that, you’ll never find anything... To tell you the truth, I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, either. See you.’

— Mary and Gray’s conversation from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature

SONG: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland

MOVIE: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Welcoming Love, True Love

VIBE: Ready for Your Love (feat. MNEK) by Gorgon City

end of a struggle – King of Swords

You’ve been incredibly and marvellously responsible for…quite a number of years, I think? For some of you maybe a couple of months or so. But your struggles have ended; nearing ending; or you just haven’t realised yet how everything has changed for the better now. If you take a moment to really notice yourself, I’m sure you can tell just how much clearer you’ve become about many things pertaining to your surrounding and sense of Self. I feel you’ve worked really hard to overcome excessive trauma noises that have caused you a great deal of psychological pain.

Starting this year, you can feel more confident in your intellectual capacity to gauge situations right in front of you. Making choices will be a lot easier now because you’re clear about who you are as a person and what it is you truly want out of your own existence. You’ve clearly set enough boundaries with those who didn’t have your best interest. Seems to me you’ve learnt the hard way to be more selfish in the spirit of self-preservation. And so, the adventure of a lifetime begins right this moment.

In fact, I feel like your entire Life up until this point has been quite the adventure—only it has been filled with sorrow and misery, sorta. Surely it was your Hero’s Journey taking shape for the early chapters of your Life’s Story. A slow burn of a lifetime, if you will. Beginning this year, you’re entering the most exciting part of your rise to glory and everlasting happiness!

in your favour – 8 of Pentacles

You’ve been hustling behind the scenes for the most part. At least, those who aren’t close to you will never know just how much work you’ve put into bettering your world from the inside out. You worked so much on your mindset; you must’ve exercised a lot, too; tried to eat more cleanly and healthily; worked on your glow-up; brushed your skills; etc. You were investing in yourself for the future vision you’ve always held close to your heart. And for that reason, the seeds are now blooming.

You’re making me think of the bamboo plant. Did you know that a bamboo seedling takes around 5-7, maybe even 8-10, years to gestate underground? All alone in the dark without anyone knowing what’s going on down there. And when the seedling shoots up to the surface, the bamboo plant is famous for being the fastest growing plant there ever is.

So yeah~ fast or no fast in your mind, the point is that you’ve done the work on yourself and all the plans you’ve ever had for your Life. This year, 2+0+2+4=8, is the year you reap all the rewards and grow even faster from where you are now. Whatever undertaking you begin this year will gain traction super fast! Pat yourself on the back because when things get super good, you deserve to take a small break and just enjoy how far you’ve come~! Breathe~

catching stars – Page of Wands

Your Story is totally far from finished. With the Page aenergy—a kid’s aenergy—you’re only on the precipice of entering a Life of passion and purpose. You could almost say, it’s a new Story altogether just because this chapter of your Life is SO SO SO super good in comparison to the chapters about your struggles. I guess you’d call this a new arc huehue

You’re young Hercules now. Pretty soon, there will occur some big event that propels you into a bona fide hero, and then, you’ll meet your Megara~ This part of your Story is where you enter a circle of true—at least truer—friends and lovers who will motivate you throughout the next chapters of your Life. Sure, sure, struggles don’t just end, poof, like that and you will continuously need to learn to sift through these new breeds of friends and acquaintances. But that’s also part of your next level growing up, so don’t sweat the possibilities XD

Throughout 2024, you could be moving to a new environment and then meet new friends. Highkey you’re gonna be meeting Soulmates and Soul Fam members; these are the people who resemble you so much either on the inside or outside. These are people who think like you, care about the same things as you; basically you’re gonna finally feel like you truly belong somewhere on this Planet. Love is in the air because you’ve been giving so much Love to yourself before this point. You are Love. You emanate Love wherever you go because you love yourself, and thus you become a magnet for people who also will love you just as good~

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💛

honey lemon juice – Silver Magus (Merlin)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Love

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Rising Up to Accept Yourself Wholly

VIBE: She Said from Kamikaze Girls

end of a struggle – Knight of Cups

You’ve kinda just gone through a death of a paradigm of sort. I feel that in the past, you simply didn’t really know who you were or what you were meant to be. This confusion of an identity was caused by your parents/caretakers not really appreciating you for who you were as a child or it could also be caused by your environment, race, culture, custom, tradition, stuff like that. It wasn’t your fault, you know. You literally grew up on your own and finally got clear about your own identity—you stopped caring if your real identity is too weird, too eccentric for this world.

Basically, you got tired of rejecting yourself. And you realised that you were doing that because you knew others wouldn’t accept you. Then you realised people are shitty and lame for the most part anyway, so you learnt to be OK with embracing all of your weird heart’s little desires. And you nurtured yourself and nurtured yourself until you rose above the lameness of most of Humanity. Did you know? You did the right thing, really. Through and through.

You’re definitely an Advanced Soul. I think even when you were a kid you always felt like there was some spirit/shadow parental figure walking behind you, guiding your thought processes. This older/bigger unseen figure was really just your own Higher Self, you know :D More than others would give you credit for, you’ve been such a good gal/boi for always listening to the guidance of your Higher Self~

in your favour – 3 of Pentacles

Beginning this year, you’re going to finally meet people who are similar to you. Similar as in, you’re going to meet a lot of colourful characters, really. People who also feel somewhat like society’s outcast. These people are going to come from various backgrounds and they will each have very interesting back stories and life experiences that will entertain you for a long time. These people could also have very strange, unusual hobbies that will spark your interest in new, alien pursuits.

With that said, this year could be the year you begin a new passion project of your own, with these people, new friends, you share a vision with. They do care about you and want to succeed together, so you can trust that these connections are going to bear sweet feelings for you. Most importantly, this year you’re going to know the sweet feeling of doing something meaningful with your natural talents born out of your innate interests. When you finally get the money, you will first and foremost taste gratitude from those who seem to love and enjoy what you do or have to offer~

Life really is getting better now because you’ve mustered the courage to explore your possibilities in all your eccentricity. Your Higher Self never meant for you to fit in anyway. You were always meant to be some sort of a genius trailblazer—a source of inspiration for the other lameass Humans who are too afraid to be themselves.

catching stars – 10 of Pentacles

What more can be said? On top of embracing yourself fully, loving yourself wholeheartedly, and meeting kindred spirits, you’re also going to gain a massive amount of money! Life’s always good when you have a lot of money! More money means a happier heart and more to share as well. But in your case, if you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, know that before a lot of money even trickles into your reality, it is the sense that you’re serving your Life Purpose what will make you feel rich.

After all, there could people reading this who came from a wealthy background and you may think you don’t crave or even care about money. Exactly. You never cared about a lack of money but didn’t you struggle with grounding yourself to this Reality because you didn’t know what you were put on Earth to do? This ‘10 of Pentacles sense of abundance’ encompasses a sense of material abundance that feels deserving; you can now feel worthy of getting paid for some passionate, incredible, show-stopping contribution you’ve made to society. Isn’t that such a wonderful feeling?

Some of you reading this could mend some broken bonds with family; some others could finally find a tribe—a Soul Family—and feel that you belong; some could start a family of your own with someone worthy of your high-grade affection. Congratulations~! You’ve really made it this far~ Things can only get better and better from here♥︎

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💗

honey lemon juice – Green Historian (Herodotus)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Patience

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Pile 3 – Stepping On the Pedestal of Destiny

VIBE: Cheer Up, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

end of a struggle – King of Pentacles

If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, I just know it that you’ve been working so hard on yourself, on a level that’s practically incomprehensible for most people. I’m sure you’ve survived so many deaths of the spirit—and perhaps even some of the more dramatic attempts. And you’ve come on top of your misery now. You’ve gotten healthier and clearer about where you’re going next. I sense sometimes you still doubt yourself but it isn’t a sin to doubt, it’s just a sign that you want to do well. And on so many levels, sometimes you’re afraid because you genuinely want this dream/vision to happen to you.

I assure you with this reading that you’re on the fast track towards a rendezvous with Destiny. Fast…is honestly relative to each Soul’s blueprint tho XD Time is on your side and what’s meant for you can’t miss you. So chillax, OK? One thing to know about this great dream/vision of yours is that you’re going to see it manifest because you’re different from the rest. Different in that you want to see it manifest to be of service to the rest! When you really think about it…

Don’t you just know from deep within your Soul that you’re deserving of this great destiny? It’s because you’re going to serve a massive purpose with it! So many people would benefit from your realising this dream. And that’s the very thing! You’ve been holding on to this vision, and you want it, because you’re MEANT for it.

in your favour – 4 of Cups

I’ll be referencing the 1971 ver. of Willy Wonka here. And honestly, I think you should watch it by the weekend or something because that movie’s whole vibe will feel tremendously validating to you, I sense hahah

Have you heard of the theories that say Charlie was literally singled out by Willy Wonka from the very beginning? That he had chosen all of those horrible brats because he wanted to punish, oops, teach them a lesson, and that principally he had been watching Charlie and wanted HIM to inherit the Chocolate Factory. If you watch the 1971 film you’ll literally get it! And with this 4 of Cups, know that that’s how the Universe feels about you stepping into your destiny. Willy Wonka, or God idk, doesn’t want anybody else but YOU to fulfil this role~!

You’ve literally been chosen and singled out by the Universe to win the grand prize! Just so you know, as I’m typing these words I literally have the Willy Wonka movie playing on another window and as I typed ‘grand prize’, the person in the movie is saying it right at the same time at around the 19:11 minute mark. Things can’t get any more synchronous than that!🤯

This year, you’ll really see how every single thing is going to work out in your favour. And knowing the inner work you’ve done on yourself, I’m sure you’re spiritually mature enough to sense, to notice every small nudge that tells you what you need to do at a given time😊New adventures are just around the corner, baby~!

catching stars – 5 of Pentacles

So you see, how is 5 of Pentacles appearing for a segment about you catching stars? This is, in fact, reaffirming that your dream come true will also serve as a salve for those who are wounded and hurting. You really are a medicine for this sick world. This year, you’re going to see serendipitous events and meetings what will open the door towards the physical manifestation of your dream Reality. Once you step on to the pedestal of Destiny, there’s no stopping you. You’ll be moving so fast it drives you mad!

This card is also saying you must be careful of possible leeches coming towards you; it’s best to use caution and discernment when revealing to others your plans and goals. Be stingy with information as per your gut instinct’s nudges, OK? Be mature enough to know not everybody will be happy at the prospect of your massive success that could potentially change Mankind. People get envious of such ideas, alright? Be careful not to hit the already low self-esteem of some people around you LMAO

I also feel that this year you will begin new routines that benefit your health and physical strength. If this is something you’ve been working on, you will see this year that the implementation of these routines feels more natural and effortless. You’ve managed to master your thoughts, emotions, and time management—or soon to do. Money will also come more abundantly, so all your basic needs are easily met. You’ve become a magnet for good luck—or soon to notice you’ve done so!🍀

APPLE STRUDEL🔻🧡

honey lemon juice – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[2af-afterdark]

"Would You Love Me if I Was A Worm?": The Kings' + Minhyeok + Angel Answers Versus the Truth

A/N: I need some random, goofy fluff. Please don't look at me.

Satan

“I don’t know.”

Honestly, Satan is the kind of guy who couldn’t answer you because, well, you aren’t a worm. How would he know if he’ll still love you? In reality, he would probably love you in a sense of the word. He would definitely take care of you and kick anyone who dared to get too close to his worm, because you know half of Hell would still be obsessed with you.

Mammon

“My master as a worm? How amusing.”

When he said he belonged to you, he meant it. Human or worm, that will always be true. So, yes, he would still love you as a worm. You would live in a worm palace and have all the pleasantries you could ever desire. He’d set you on his desk when he’s working and carry you around when he’s out. You are not some mere pet that stays at home when he leaves. You will always be at his side and pampered to an absolutely terrifying degree.

Leviathan

Yeah, he’s going to glare at you because the question is nonsensical and really dumb. He doesn’t even answer it because it’s a waste of oxygen to do so. 

Except the truth is that he would be the only one caring for you because he’d get jealous if anyone else tried to. The emotion isn’t exactly romantic love, but he loves you even as a worm regardless. You are his special little worm. He takes good care of you, although he’s not much nicer to you as a worm than he is when you’re human.

Beelzebub

“What a weird question. Sure.”

He says he would love you if you were a worm, but we all know that he would forget about you whenever he leaves the palace for more than 2 hours. All your care would fall on Bael, just like everything else does. He would definitely pay attention to you when he remembers to come home though. He would probably give you apple slices and watch you for a while whenever he returns. His feelings would probably be more akin to fascination than love; like watching a squirrel in the wild, except you're a worm in a terrarium. That’s sort of a form of love… Sort of.

Minhyeok

“Yes!”

Honestly, he responds before you’ve even finished the question. You got to “would you love me” and he already knew the answer. He will love you no matter what. He would want to be a worm too so he could be your worm husband and start a worm family with you.

Gabriel

“No.”

Why are you asking him this? He wants to kill you! A worm sounds really easy to kill. On second thought, sure. He’d love it if you were a worm… For about five seconds before you weren’t anything anymore.

Michael

“How tragic that you want a form different than the one God blessed you with.”

Again, he wants to kill you! Please stop harassing Heaven to ask weird questions. He doesn’t love you now, let alone if you suddenly became a completely different creature. He’s actually insulted by the question. Why are you like this? Yes, he would definitely be fighting Gabriel over who gets to kill your adorable little worm form.

Raphael

“Do you plan on being one? I'm sure I could keep you.”

The man is kind of obsessed, honestly. Look at how cute you are as a worm; truly the most beautiful worm in the world. Man would treat you like a pet but still expect your little worm self to show him affection. He wouldn’t want to leave home and would spend waaaaay too long watching you all day. Also, he would sleep next to you, even if that meant sleeping in the dirt. The man is weird.

[seijorhi]

invidia ii

a (very belated) christmas present for my beloved wife @iwaasfairy who has, for two years straight, begged me for more shinnosuke content. i hope you like it bby! kuroo tetsurou x female reader, kuroo shinnosuke (oc) x female reader part i w.c 3.1k tw: noncon/dubcon, slight daddy kink, (forced) infidelity, yandere themes, nsfw, smut, age gap, i guess hints of breeding kink, dilf kuroo

“Why did your parents split up?”

Mid-way through pulling on a pair of old, grey sweatpants, mopping at beads of water from his shower still rolling down his bare chest, Shinnosuke throws you a curious look, but shrugs easily enough.

“They weren’t ever really ‘together’ to begin with. They tried the whole co-parenting thing to start with but mom… they never loved each other. Hell, I don’t even think they liked each other most of the time beyond–” he breaks off, his nose wrinkling in distaste. It almost makes you laugh. “Anyway, dad always said she had one foot out the door from the start. Dad was the one who stuck around to raise me.” There’s no animosity in his tone, he says it like it’s the simple truth. You’ve never met the woman, never having shown up to any of the Nekoma games, his graduation, any of it. You’ve seen a picture or two, overheard the odd phone call, but for as long as you’ve known him, the only real parent in Shin’s life has always been his dad.

If there’s anyone he idolises, it’s his father.

 Which is why the words that he says next – casting aside the damp towel in the general direction of the laundry basket (boys) and sauntering on over to join you in bed – take you entirely by surprise. “We’ll go visit her in Golden Week. I want her to meet you.”

And again, the words are just that; words. Shin kisses you, a sweet peck on your lips, and wastes no time in scooping you back into his arms and settling back with a contented sigh. They’re just words, but there’s this look in his eyes when he says it that makes you think he means something more. 

Your stomach flutters.

—

‘You really wanna break his heart like that, kitten?’

—

“Still not feeling any better?” Shin asks, brushing your hair back to feel your forehead. The beginnings of a frown start to take shape, teeth gently burrowing into his bottom lip, but he straightens and sighs, and that hint of discontent smoothes over like it had never existed in the first place. He strokes your hair again and offers a small, sympathetic smile. “No temperature, that’s gotta be a good sign, right?”

You’re a coward.

“It’s not my head, I just…” don’t have any visible, plausible symptoms for the fake illness that’s currently keeping you curled up in Shin’s bed. Away from the creep who’d smiled and fucking winked at you Christmas morning. “I just feel off.”

“Poor baby,” he coos, laughing when your face screws up and you swat at him.

Right now, swaddled in his hoodie, his fingers carding through your hair and that stupid, impish, almost believable grin beaming down at you, you want to forget. To pretend. 

Because there’s a pit in your stomach. A bitter, gnarled, seething mass. This moment right now, in Shin’s bed, it’s like glass, paper thin and already cracked, it can’t possibly last, and yet you’re clinging to it so desperately, head buried in the sand, willing yourself to pretend, from one heartbeat to the next, that what’s happened won’t break the two of you. 

That your stomach doesn’t threaten to upend when you catch sight of those hazel eyes peering down at you – the same shape and shade as his father’s.

You shudder out a breath, and what little levity there was between you two gets sucked out with it. Shin’s expression gutters.

Yeah. 

His fingers don’t leave your hair, though. Playing idly with the strands as though the suffocating tension in the room doesn’t exist at all. “Dad’s taking us out to dinner tonight,” he tells you. Reminds you, because you knew all of this beforehand. Everything but the party. “Do you want me to run by the pharmacy to get you something?”

Another tap at the fractured glass. 

That’s Shinnosuke all over, isn’t it? You might’ve been the manager back in the day, but it was always Shin who kept an eye on his team, on you, to make sure everyone was good. 

“No,” you shake your head. “I’ll–” the words get stuck in your throat. “I’ll see how I feel in an hour or so. ‘m still a little tired.” 

“You want some tea, sweetheart?”

‘Shh, sweetheart, you gotta keep it down.’

A cold sweat breaks out on the nape of your neck. No. No, no, no, no–

“Baby?”

You flinch like he’s slapped you, jerking away from the hand he’s wound in your hair. The startled look he shoots you borders on wounded, but you’re already squirming towards the edge of the bed, stumbling to your feet like a newborn foal. “Bathroom,” you manage to eke out, your voice sounding far too strangled and hoarse to pass as anywhere near the realm of fine. 

Shin doesn’t follow, doesn’t so much as utter a word – all kicked puppy confused – as you throw the door closed behind you and collapse back against it, a sweaty, ashen mess. 

He usually calls you love. Baby. Princess when he’s being a little shit. 

Sweetheart’s a rare one. 

Your heart races, a runaway train pounding in your chest. His eyes, his touch, sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart.

Another shuddering breath in. Out. 

Fuck. 

There’s a knock – not at the ensuite door, the sound’s too muffled for that, and you didn’t hear Shin’s footsteps (though you’re not sure you would, over the pounding in your ribs) meaning that the knocking’s at his door. 

There’s only one other occupant in the house. Though you try your damndest to fight it, there’s no stopping the wave of panic that stabs through you. Shin’s door creaks open, soft voices barely creeping through the gap in the door, and your fingers go rigid, nails clawing at the black and white flooring as though you can ground yourself by breaking through it instead. 

You don’t realise you’re crying.

Not until the droplets splatter on the tiles by your feet.

—

You should’ve left days ago.

After Christmas, when you’d ducked out from under Shin’s arm and lurched for the nearest bathroom, when it’d finally clicked for him that you violently hurling your guts up wasn’t the result of a simple hangover, you’d tried. Short of admitting the truth – and swinging a bat at the bees’ nest – convincing Shin to leave his dad’s place goes about as well as drawing blood from a stone. 

He’s even less thrilled about the prospect of you going back by yourself, leaving him to spend what’s left of the week with his dad like they’d planned.

There’s only so far you can push without breaking something. You, probably. You and Shin, almost definitely. 

Even so, you might’ve had more of a backbone if he hadn’t been so… Shin. All coaxing and concerned. Logical to a damn fault. 

‘You don’t wanna be stuck in a car driving for hours when you’re feeling shitty, love, and besides, dad’s place is bigger than ours. Comfier. You’ll probably be on the mend by tomorrow anyway, so there’s no point in us heading back.’

If you weren’t trying to salvage what’s left, or maybe clinging to the idea that you can – and want to – then it would’ve been easier just to go.

You wouldn’t still be here, stuck in the house of the man who’d– who’d raped you.

You wouldn’t be avoiding your boyfriend’s eye.

You would’ve screamed the whole house down before Kuroo Tetsurou ever bent you over the kitchen counter.

But the gentle extrication in the early hours of the morning, Shinnosuke’s lips brushing against your cheek, the sleepy rasp of his voice as he mumbles a quiet, “Love you,” before slipping away – you barely stir, cozy and safe and content.

He loves you. Shin loves you. 

A while later – minutes, maybe, or hours, it’s hard to tell when you’re still in the grips of sleep – the mattress dips under Shin’s weight, and those strong, sculpted arms seek your warmth again, you only sigh and lean back against him. 

“I love you,” you whisper, not yet willing to open your eyes and face another day of lying to him. 

The arm slung over your waist curls tighter, his face nuzzling into your neck. The kisses he leaves there aren’t affectionate, exactly, they’re not gentle, when teeth catch, nipping sharply at your skin, only to be soothed by a lave of his tongue.

And the laugh that rumbles at your back – a shade off your boyfriend’s – is anything but nice. 

“Yeah? Fuck, you’re sweet in the morning.”

This time, you don’t hold back. You shriek, kicking out like a wild thing – or you would have, if Kuroo’s hand hadn’t clamped down on your mouth, if his weight hadn’t shifted so that rather than lying curled up behind you, he’s half on top of you, pinning you down to the mattress with a thigh lodged between yours. 

“Uh-uh-uh, we were doing so good, kitten. Don’t you wanna be daddy’s good girl?”

Your only answer is a ragged noise, torn from somewhere deep inside of you. He chuckles again, grinds against you, his cock a thick, unignorable presence pressed at your ass. There’s nothing but the thin cotton of your sleep shorts separating it from you, and from past experience, that barrier won’t do much to deter him for long.

Kuroo rolls you onto your back and slots himself nicely between your legs. Naked, you realise with a fresh stab of fear.

You scream the moment his palm leaves your lips to capture your wrists, scream for Shinnosuke – for anyone – so loudly that it feels like you’ll bleed for it. Let him come running, find you pinned and squirming, terrified beneath the man who raised him.

Let it be the final crack that obliterates everything. 

If Shin sees you like this, utterly petrified, on the verge of being raped again and still thinks it some kind of a betrayal, let him choke on it. You don’t care anymore, you just want someone to stop this. 

(Shin wouldn’t, would he?)

But Kuroo only snickers. Leans over to lick along the edge of your lashes, where hot, glistening tears are already spilling over, trickling down to disappear in your hairline. “Your boy’s not here, but we don’t have long ‘til he gets back. You’ll forgive me if we bypass the foreplay this morning, right, sweetheart?” You shudder, goosebumps prickling where his breath washes over you, and you squeeze your eyes shut and violently – pointlessly – shake your head. “We’ll have to save eating your pretty little cunt for next time.”

All too eager, he hungrily captures your lips again and yanks down your shorts, taking your panties along with them.

Christmas morning, you’d been shoved face down over the kitchen counter while he’d fucked you from behind. You’d give anything for that distance right now. At least then you hadn’t had to endure his suffocating warmth, having him squeeze and grope at your tits over your old, threadbare tee.

You wouldn’t have to writhe away from his mouth while he rucks your bare thighs up either side of his hips, dragging you closer.

Even with your eyes screwed tightly shut, you can’t pretend that this isn’t happening as Kuroo spits and a heartbeat later the thick head of his cock slowly – agonisingly slowly – splits you apart.

You forget how to breathe. 

Eyes popping open and back arching up into his chest, your fists clutch desperately at the sheets of Shin’s bed, trying to squirm away, only the grip he has on you makes sure there’s nowhere for you to escape to. He’s big, long, mostly, and you’re too tight to take him easily, especially without any prep. The spit doesn’t help any, and Kuroo doesn’t care, groaning out in pleasure as inch by inch he pushes himself deeper, until at last he’s seated firmly inside of you. “Good fucking giiiirl,” he purrs, a kiss pressed to the tip of your nose.

A tiny, drawn out whine is all you can manage when your lower half radiates pain. 

“Gonna fuck this perfect pussy nice ‘n full,” he tells you. “Give you everything you need, sweet girl. You can take it. I know you can, you just gotta breathe for me.”

But unlike last time, he doesn’t allow you the luxury of a minute to adjust. His hips draw back and punch forward, jolting another mewling gasp from your lips. And again. And again. The pace isn’t violent so much as intense, like each thrust ignites something inside of him that burns for more.

He clasps your wrists in one hand, pants into your open mouth between frenetic kisses, groans out your name in that shuddering gasp.

“Mine,” he pants, beads of sweat dripping from his chest, his chin, rolling down onto you. “You’re daddy’s girl– fuck!”

Your cunt reacts accordingly, flexing around his cock, easing its passage so that the wet, lurid sounds of him fucking you quickly fill the air. A betrayal that has your cheeks flaming. 

The muscles in your thighs burn, Kuroo all but forcing them back towards the bed, his weight driving into you with fervour. A quick adjustment to the angle of your hip and his cock hits a spot deep inside of you that has you choking on a moan of your own, a burst of bright, sizzling pleasure bleeding through the pain.

Kuroo grins ferally at the sound of it. Drops his weight on an elbow and bucks into you, hitting it again. Your inner walls twitch, squeezing and slick, dragging noises from you that make you wanna burn with shame – that, or cut yourself loose entirely. You can’t muster resistance when he swallows them down, sucking on your tongue, moaning into your mouth. His momentum turns rabid, his hand no longer encircling your wrists, but entangled with them, pressing them down to the mattress. “Almost… there…” he grunts, gasping as he curls over you, abs flexing.

A shudder rolls through him, his hips faltering just as something vital shatters inside of you, toes curling, white hot pleasure exploding from your core, rippling through your whole body like the aftershocks of an earthquake. With your pussy spasming around his cock, your body taut and locked with pleasure, Kuroo hurtles off that cliff right alongside you, a strangled noise somewhere between a moan and a growl escaping him as he pumps your cunt full of his seed, all but collapsing atop of you afterwards.

It takes a minute before he peels himself off of you; pushing himself up, braced on elbow so that he’s not crushing you entirely, Kuroo waits, buried inside your warmth, for you to stop trembling with the after effects of your orgasm, for his cock to soften and both of your breathing to even out. 

Waits for those glazed over eyes to focus back on him and once again fill with tears, stroking a hand through your sweat-dampened hair as he does so.

“You should go take a shower before Shin gets home,” he says after a minute or two, his voice a low purr. “He can’t be far off.”

But aside from rolling off you to allow you up, Kuroo makes no moves to follow you, or so much as get up off the bed. Naked, his cock soft and glistening with your juices, one knee propped up, he watches you stumble like a newborn foal into the bathroom (only half managing to close the door behind you) with damn near predatory intent, a smirk teasing at his lips.

It’s where Shin finds you a short while later, curled up on the floor of the shower, shaking through silent sobs. 

—

Shin doesn’t let go of your hand the entire trip home.

Uncharacteristically sober, he says little aside from the occasional murmur to check in with you – always unanswered – and keeps you tucked close, as though a fraction of distance between you might pry you from his side entirely. 

The hours pass in a haze of… nothing. Your tears dry. Numbness takes over. You move like a robot, Shin guiding you every step of the way until you cross the threshold of your apartment.

He never asks what happened. You suppose the smell of sex in his bedroom and the bruises and love bites scattered over your body tell the tale well enough. Shinnosuke’s never been stupid. He’s not dense. 

He’s not heartless, either.

In the sanctity of your tiny, shitty bathroom, you shower again. A proper shower this time, with the water turned up full blast, scrubbing viciously at your skin– or at least, you do until he steps in and takes over. You’ve never thought of your boyfriend as particularly gentle, but he pries the loofah from your hand with a delicacy you didn’t know him capable of and takes care of you, cleaning you up with a tenderness that borders on reverence.

You pretend not to notice how his eyes (so like his, sharp and hazel) narrow into a scowl every time he spots another bruise, another mark left by his father. Once or twice his fingers begin to ghost over them, burgundy fingerprints on your thigh, a love bite sucked into the delicate skin above your collarbone, only to catch himself, swallowing tightly and resuming his task like he’d never faltered in the first place. 

When you’re done, he dries you both off and helps you into fresh clothes – a pair of comfy sweatpants and an old hoodie of his and guides you back to the living room, setting you down into his lap on the couch.

“I–” his voice is hoarse. Quiet, especially in the stillness of the apartment, and when you glance his way, he awkwardly clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “I went to the pharmacy. I thought– I thought…” he trails off again, dropping his gaze. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

Your heart twists, and it’s your turn to comfort him. Or maybe you’re comforting each other, shifting slightly in his lap so that you can wrap your arms around him and draw him in close, burying your face in the crook of his neck and breathing in the fresh, clean scent of him. “No. I– it wasn’t…” but the words don’t come. You flounder. 

What are you supposed to say? It wasn’t his fault? Wasn’t yours?

You should’ve said something earlier? Should’ve fought back harder – against both of them, should’ve grown a spine?

A beat passes in the tense, thick silence, and when it becomes clear that you’ve got nothing for him, he makes an odd sort of huff that sounds almost irritated. You frown a little, but you don’t fight it when his arms pull tighter around you, when his cheek comes to a rest against your hair and his hands seek yours, curling around your wrists and stroking at the skin there. 

“We’ll get through this,” he vows. “I love you, this doesn’t change anything. It won’t change anything.” His lips meet the crown of your head in a soft kiss. “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

My beautiful, stupid maid

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Maid! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna, smut, Minors DNI, slightly dark themes, Donna's POV

Word count: 5,080

Summary: I don't know why I don't want you to leave...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!! Requests are open!! I love you all!!!

I thought I like to be alone.

Everyone told me: you need some company. They don’t know me. My family, as they call themselves, care about me, or so they think they do. I don't need helpless maids running through the halls. I don't need to waste time on people I don't care about. My life doesn’t revolve around achieving power, around needing the feeling of being above others, like my siblings do.

I was always a lonely woman, and Mother Miranda's gift could change many things, but not that. Not that.

Angie was everything I needed.

I know what they think about me, what they talk about: “Poor Donna, she's so lonely…” “She's not mentally developed,” “she only cares about her stupid dolls…” Comments that they think I don't hear.

To be honest, I never cared about that. I know what I’m, what place in the world there was for me. My dolls, my house, my loneliness. Sometimes I lose my mind and cry without wanting to. Sometimes I want to end the meaninglessness that my life has become. Angie takes me away from those thoughts, she calms me down. I didn't need anything but to keep serene and continue existing.

At least I thought I didn't need anything else.

Then you showed up.

“Mother Miranda has granted me the honor of working for you, Lady Beneviento,” you said, appearing in my house, in my territory. In all this time, many villagers had been stupid enough to approach my house.

None of them returned. Thanks to the gift that was given to me, I could enjoy seeing the fear in their eyes, seeing how terrible their thoughts are. At first I had to admit that I was even afraid of myself.

The human mind is so fragile... How much people can suffer just with their own memories is incredible. For some reason, I didn't feel the need to torture you.

You seemed shy, but you didn't stop smiling, even with my fervent refusal. I couldn't disobey Mother Miranda, and I couldn't stop looking into those bright, strange eyes.

Angie was just a lost part of my consciousness, some thoughts that left my mind when I granted her the gift of life. She thought that for you to work for me was a good idea. Not me.

I didn't even know your name, but I opened the doors of my house to you. Who was I to argue with Mother Miranda's demands? Maybe I just got carried away with Angie.

I tried to avoid you. I didn't want to think that you were here, with me, that I was no longer alone. But you... You came to me, like a fly to a light trap, blinded, surely by your innocence, heading towards danger.

“Is everything to your liking, my lady?” “Would you like me to make you some tea, my lady?” Always those stupid questions. Hearing your voice was nothing but torture for me, a reminder that you were still there, that, no matter how much your presence bothered me, I was not capable of throwing you out or of making you hallucinate so you would run away from here, so you would never come back.

Silence was always my response, the affirmation that I didn't want you to be here. I have never had the ability or the need to talk to anyone, not even to my siblings. You were not going to be an exception.

My lady... What stupidity is that? I didn't want to be your lady. I didn't want you to consider yourself my property. I was alone, and I liked it.

Unfortunately, time only revealed your annoying presence. My routine is always the same and to trip with you was inevitable. I curse the Black Gods for turning my gaze towards yours.

What a maid... You were clumsy. You didn't know how to clean properly. You served no purpose other than to disrupt my existence. But I could never hurt you. It didn't matter how many vases you broke, how many times you burned the food. I felt incapable of scolding you, of throwing you out of my house.

Someday I woke up with the decision to put an end to that stuff, to make you suffer and disappear forever. Those thoughts faded the moment my hidden gaze met yours again.

That smile, those eyes... That messy hair and the dress that framed your figure made me back away, give you another chance. Chance? I didn't want you to be here. I never wanted you to come to my house. I didn't want to see your stupid smile. I didn't want to, and yet, I felt the need to see you.

Are you also a creation of Mother Miranda?

I know that she experiments on villagers, that she creates aberrations. Could you be one of them? What exactly has the Cadou done to you? Were you some kind of sorceress?

I've read too many books about witches, about mermaids who trick sailors into taking their souls. I always thought they were stupid stories to scare children. But the more I look at you, the more I think you're like a witch from those stories, or like a mermaid. Do you want to trick me into taking my soul? Too late, girl, it's been a long time since I had a soul.

“Good morning, my lady, did you sleep well?” you asked every morning. My ability to ignore you faltered over time. Anyway, I couldn't lose anything by nodding.

That was my worst mistake, making you believe that I was somehow communicating with you. That small gesture gave you more confidence in yourself. It made you believe that you could annoy me even more.

One night I tried to relax, sit by the fireplace and read another of those mermaid stories. Suddenly, I felt the need to know more about these creatures. Somehow, I was afraid that you were one of them. That the movement my head made, forcing me to follow you with my gaze, was some kind of spell from you.

“Excuse me, my lady,” you said to me, with the nerve to put a hand on my shoulder. I was startled, but I knew how to hide it so you wouldn't notice.

I nodded for you to talk, even though I didn't want you to, what is happening to me?

“I'm a bit bored, I was wondering if you could recommend me a book,” you said with your hands together in front of your body, with that formality that I knew you didn't have.

I was thoughtful for a moment. My hands shook as they held Homer's Odyssey. Your mermaid song was not going to be able to defeat me, you stupid maid.

“A book?” I asked without realizing it, letting out my voice, a voice that I hadn't used for a long time and that I didn't want to use precisely with you. I had to calm down, or you would trick me.

“Yes, well... Books about plants are interesting but...” You said, looking away from my hateful gaze.

Did you mean to joke? What made you think you could joke with me? Moron.

“I've been looking for something a bit more entertaining but I can't find anything. Also, most of them are in Italian and I… Well, I can’t read them.”

I shook my head. Fortunately, you couldn't see my face. A smile involuntarily spread across it.

“My family was Italian,” I said in a hoarse voice, giving her an absurd explanation, which she certainly didn’t deserve.

“Oh, okay,” you whispered nervously.

Why were you nervous? Oh, sure... In these three months and five days you hadn't heard me speak. I have a horrible voice, right? I'm sure you hate me even more now. Everybody hates me.

The light from the fireplace rested on your face, dancing in your eyes, on your skin. Have you hypnotized me? I couldn’t stop looking at you.

I sighed listlessly, looking for an excuse for your eyes to stop enchanting me. I got up from the couch, looking for something that would keep you entertained, quiet. Your voice is beautiful, but I don't want to hear it. Beautiful?

“For whom the bell tolls... Ernest Hemingway,” you said when I finally gave you a book so you would leave me alone. You just had to take the damn book and get out of my sight. It wasn't that difficult, was it? “It’s a good one?”

“Yes, it is,” I responded with a dry throat, nervous about the subtle contact my hand made brushing against yours. When I touched you, the porcelain of my dolls came to my mind. Soft, delicate…

“Thank you, I promise that tomorrow I won't burn the toast,” you said amused, were you trying to make me laugh? Good luck with that.

Something had changed in your attitude. I wondered if hearing me talk had anything to do with it. I didn't want you to be here. I hate you, stupid maid.

Time passed slowly. I found myself counting the days, the hours you spent with me. Your overconfidence was disgusting. Some nights, you sat next to me, reading that book, commenting each of the things that seemed curious to you. I have already read it, you silly maid. I don't need to hear your... Your beautiful voice.

I've never been right in the head, I know that. Since I was little I had problems. Problems with my appearance, with people... I have never gotten over it and I never will. My past is a field of thorns that stick into my skin every night when I try to sleep.

But... My demons were not keeping me awake, your eyes were, those two beautiful pearls that you had on your face, ones that I couldn't stop looking at. What are you doing to me? What is happening to me? I feel weak, tired. I'm not hungry, I'm not sleepy. I don't feel like getting out of my bed, to face your gaze again.

Sitting at my old dressing table, I look at my deformed face in a mirror. I'm a monster. I should have gotten used to seeing myself like that, to having that horrible thing on my face, just as I got used to the changes in my body when I became Mother Miranda's daughter.

I felt my heart sink as I looked at myself in that mirror. A deformed monster, a strange creature, an aberration. Those statements that were going through my head were more present than ever.

“What's wrong, Donna?” Angie asked, climbing onto my lap. My sweet and faithful Angie, I don't know what I would have done without you.

“I'm a monster, Angie,” I murmured, with a tear running down my untouched cheek. I can't tell how many times I have burst into tears because of that. That night was different.

“No, no, that's not true,” the doll said. I wish I could believe her words. Angie was my creation. She was part of my consciousness. She would never hurt me... I don't even know what Angie is exactly anymore. “The maid likes you…”

“What?” I said startled.

I know Angie wanted to make me feel better, but she was never particularly good at it.

She couldn't lie to me. She didn't have the ability to do so.

Do you like me? What nonsense. I know you don’t. I know it's impossible. Anyway…why am I worried? Why I didn’t stop thinking about those words?

Love is a luxury that I could never enjoy. Loving a woman, being loved... Those were just fantasies in my head, a fictitious feeling that, like mermaids, only lived in my books.

Every day I kept seeing your stupid… Beautiful… Smile. You were still here, you hadn't left. I couldn't say when I started to worry about you leaving. I didn’t want you to be here but... I didn't want you to leave. I had never felt so many contradictions at the same time. I had never suffered so many anxiety attacks in the safety of my room.

You never saw me lose my temper. I didn't want you to see me like that. For some reason, I didn't want to.

I tried to push you away, but you were getting closer, touching me with your dress, touching my hand when you handed me a cup of tea. Were you really the one who did it? Was my hand subtly caressing your skin? It didn't seem to bother you either.

You were still here, like every day, torturing me with your eyes, with your smile, with your movements when you walked near me. Your gaze was tender and respectful, but your body wasn’t. Your body caused sensations that I always ignored in me.

“That doll is beautiful, Donna,” you whispered, taking my tea to the workshop. That place was always a refuge, the only place in the house where my thoughts were not focused on you.

“Thank you,” I said. To let my voice speak for me didn’t take long. I had been doing it for so long that I no longer stopped to think why it wasn't difficult for me to do it with you.

“Look, it has my eyes,” you said amused, gently picking up the newly made doll.

A heaviness in my head said there was something wrong. Yes, you were right. That damn doll had your beautiful eyes. Wait, shouldn't I say: That beautiful doll had your damn eyes?

“Yes, well, I...” I stammered, confused. I hadn't even realized it. Even without thinking about you, I was doing it. Even when I made my dolls, I put your same hair to them, your eyes, the marks that I could see on your skin… I was no longer safe even in my own workshop.

“It's very nice,” you whispered, returning the doll to me with a sigh. “Anyway, I think I should start making the soup… You liked it with a bit of dill, right?”

“Yes... I... Yes, yes,” I stammered, nodding, but without looking at your face. I was just looking at the doll, at your vivid portrait made unconsciously. I could no longer deny how obsessed I was with you, that I thought about you even without doing it.

I refused to believe it was love or anything like that. At night I tossed and turned in bed, thinking about what spell you had used on me. Your eyes stopped appearing in my nightmares, and now they were present in my most beautiful dreams. In them I see you, I see us together, close, with our hands intertwined. They were just dreams... Dreams in which I don't have that horrible thing on my face, in which your eyes shine when you look at me, in which your lips... In which your lips are too close to mine.

I felt unable to ignore the sensations that the mere fact of being close to you caused me. Love is something absurd, a waste of time. Everyone wants to hurt you, Donna, don't forget that.

My head fought with my heart, with the trembling of my hands when I was close to yours. You always were here with that smile, with that look, making me unable to think about anything but in your lips on mine, in your body very close to mine.

The nights got worse. Drawing your image in my thoughts usually helped me to stay calm and sleep, dreaming about you. Not anymore. I can no longer let myself be carried away by my feelings. The sensations were different, physical, overwhelming. I no longer imagined your smile, or a simple kiss. No, now your body was naked next to mine, now my caresses no longer wandered over your face, but over your chest, your waist, your legs…

Lust is a sin, or so my parents said. I was never ignorant, or stupid. My body had needs, and even more so after the change that Cadou produced in me. I thought it was routine, something necessary...

One more task to be calm, to relax. My mind traveled to unknown places, imagining faceless women while I soothed myself with my hands. It was pleasant, but empty, lacking in feelings or the desire to do it. I simply wanted to relieve my body so that my mind wouldn't become destabilized.

That night, my body was calling me again. No matter how much I tried to get my excitement to relax, I wasn't able to do so. I wanted something, my body wanted something, and I had to give that to it.

My hands moved down my nightclothes to my trembling erection, stroking it gently. Maybe it was my impression, but I could feel much more than other times... The difference? There were no longer faceless women in my head or erotic stories hidden in one of my books. I was thinking about you.

I felt the need to end that discomfort between my legs as quickly as possible and for some reason, I thought that including you in my lascivious thoughts might help. Quite the opposite. The pleasure of my hand going up and down, the gasps that came out of my mouth involuntarily made me want to go slower. I wanted to keep thinking about what it would be like to be inside of you, to hear you moan with your mermaid voice, to see you closing those bright eyes while I made you mine.

My movements were fast, but intense. My head was imagining how good it would feel to have the images in my head come true. To release myself didn't take long, but I felt I enjoyed doing it too much.

Cleaning myself in the bathroom, I looked the mirror again. My face was red and my breathing was labored. I wiped my hands with a towel and stood there, looking at my reflection, feeling a pang in my heart at the thought that everything I dream of were just fantasies.

I felt guilty for enjoying myself at your expense, for masturbating thinking about you, but... I also felt frustrated by how absurd was to think about how far my feelings had gone. So much so that I lost the little decency I had, the deal I made with myself not to fall in love, not to feel the need to hug a human body instead of a porcelain doll.

In my incipient desperation, I called my sister Alcina, telling her everything that was happening to me. Angie gave me nothing but absurd advices. I needed the opinion of someone more... Experienced.

It was of no use to me. According to her, my need to make that stupid maid mine was absurd. “You are a powerful woman, Donna. If you want something from that girl, just take it. She will never contradict you, for her own sake.”

Everything was so easy for a woman like Alcina...

A dark part of my mind seriously considered following her advice. I never felt remorse for torturing those stupid villagers, why would I feel remorse for taking what I want to make mine?

But no, that part of me that I'm ashamed of had to shut up. I couldn't just… No, I couldn't do it. I didn't want to do it, but I wanted to. I wanted you in an unbearable way.

The nights were torture, the days were even worse. At least at night I just had to imagine you, I didn't have to feel you, I didn't have to touch your hand. Yes, you kept rubbing your hand with mine. Have you ever done that? It was me? I wouldn't know how to answer. I would like to ask you, but I don't dare to do it.

You are killing me, you stupid, beautiful maid. You kill me slowly, you make me fall in love with you without mercy, you look at me, you talk to me... You are here with me. I’m here with you. You don't want to leave. I don't want you to leave.

One afternoon, I tried to escape from my carnal desires, from the feelings that filled my head. I was painting dolls, sewing without rest. I had been doing it for hours, I didn't know how many.

“Sorry for bothering you,” you said politely, entering disrespectfully, interrupting my bitterness.

“What do you want? I'm busy,” my words were cold, lacking that softness with which they always spoke to you.

“I'm sorry, it's just that... It's just that I... I have to clean this up. It's the last room before being able to rest,” you said shyly. Was it me or your cheeks were blushing? What were you thinking about? You were thinking about another way to fool me? Stop it. You've already done it. I feel that if I were a sailor, I would already be drifting, desperately searching to hear your siren song again.

“Okay,” I said briefly, avoiding your tender smile, looking at that doll, looking at your eyes on it again.

As you moved around my workshop, my clumsy and trembling hands made the task of painting correctly impossible. With you here, to concentrate was impossible for me.

My thoughts began to spin out of control as I tilted my head to look at you. There you were, leaning over one of the dusty tables. You looked at me, like you knew I was doing the same thing. I looked away and squeezed my hands tightly.

If you want something from her, just take it.

The phrase my sister said appeared in my head suddenly, treacherously, just at the moment when my crazy gaze was directed at the small spot that you had very close to your neckline. One I couldn't forget.

My actions took control of my body, causing me to get up slowly, like a shadow that stalks you without realizing it.

I wanted to tell you so many things... I wanted to be able to talk to you about my feelings before approaching you from behind, running a hand through your hair, brushing it away from your shoulders.

You stood still, but you didn't complain, you didn't turn around and slap me for my impudence. No, you seemed like butter under my touch, under my hands on your shoulders, on your neck.

An unexpected gasp left your lips as I got closer and closer, feeling your subtle but intoxicating perfume, feeling the heat of your body passing through my dress.

“I can't stop thinking about you...” I whispered without meaning to, confessing an undeniable truth, confessing that you are not the stupid maid that I didn’t want to have. You were the girl I wanted to love.

“Donna...” You sighed, when I removed the veil from my face to place my lips on your pale skin, behind your perfect ear.

When I started to be just Donna to you? What about the my lady thing?

Kissing your skin was like a cold breeze on a hot day, like laughing when you're sad. It was a feeling of relief, of pleasure.

Even being behind you, I could feel your heavy breathing. What did you feel? Were you in hell or in paradise?

I couldn't know and I didn't want to know. My hands worked on their own, covering every inch of your body while my mouth was cruel to your neck.

Having your chest in my hands, passing my fingers through the fabric that covered your breasts... All that things I imagined at night were mine in that moment. A part of my conscience was screaming for me to stop, to be sure that you wanted to do it. No, dear maid, I wasn’t going to ask.

You turned around slowly, letting my hands continue roaming your body. You weren't supposed to do that. You were supposed to run away.

“I think about you too...” You whispered, moving my black veil aside. There was nothing to fear anymore. You would be with me or you would disappear from my life. My face didn't matter. I didn’t care if you thought I was a monster. I was willing to force you.

Your smile remained tender, relaxed at the sight of my exposed face. There was no horror in your eyes, disgust in your gaze. No, there was only… Peace, tranquility, and that smile that kept me awake at nights.

“You are even more beautiful than I imagined,” you said, bringing your hand to my deformed cheek, running your fingers over my scar, as if it were nothing, as if it were of no importance to you.

I grabbed your wrist to stop you before leaning towards you, before placing my lips on yours. I had never kissed anyone and I was thankful I hadn't. Your kiss was my first one.

Little by little I moved closer, making your back collide with the edge of the table. I couldn't stop kissing you. I didn't want to stop kissing you. Your lips were addictive. They were everything I had imagined. Your body against mine, your hands going down my waist, you and me...

I could no longer contain my desire to make you mine, to love you, to make love you. I was willing to force you to do it, to not listen to your screams, to make you run away. I didn't have to. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who rubbed my hands with yours. You did it too.

My need to love you was put before romance, caresses, kisses and affectionate whispers in your ear. I had spent too much time thinking about how I felt about you. I didn't want to tell you, I wanted to show you.

I lifted your body by your legs, sitting you on the table, drowning in your kisses, letting my hands touch whatever they wanted... Just like yours. I felt like such a simple act was more than enough to feel my arousal rubbing against my underwear. You were irresistible, a goddess, a mermaid, a witch... But above all, you were going to be mine.

I looked at you, wishing it wasn't a dream and you were really there. You smiled again. What have you done to me? What did I do to you? Have you fooled me? Have I tricked you? Did you also think of me as if I were a mermaid?

Absurd questions that my body didn't have time for. I needed you, my beautiful maid. With a hasty movement, I put my hands into your dress while you hung around my neck, making to concentrate on loving you harder for me, kissing me eagerly, with a desire that I was unaware of.

Your underwear disappeared around your ankles as your hands left my neck, to play on my chest, to free me from my own clothes. Were you in a hurry as I was?

When I finally had access to you, my body moved on its own, lifting your legs slightly, remaining enthralled by those hidden corners of your body.

 You didn't say anything about what was between my legs. You just looked at it curiously. I don't like being looked at, tesoro, you should know that.

You bit your lip, but you didn't say anything. You just pulled me so that my erection rubbed against your wetness. There was nothing else to say, but there were a lot of things to do.

I entered you hastily, feeling a wave of unimaginable pleasure. I was not delicate, nor kind. I didn't know if someone had ever loved you, I didn't want to know either. Your walls hugged me tightly, keeping me right where you wanted, making you moan in a way that I already knew would drive me crazy.

You had more clothes than in my dreams, but the sensations you sent to my body every time they moved exceeded my expectations. You hugged me so well... You took it so well... You were perfect, as if your body was made just for me.

“Don't stop, Donna...” You begged, writhing on that table. My thrusts had relaxed as I looked at you, as I closely admired your beauty without the veil between us. I just shook my head, kissing you passionately as my hips resumed their movements.

“I think... I think I love you...” I whispered with a voice low enough so you couldn't hear it, camouflaging it between our moans. There came a time when I decided to close my eye and not look at you anymore.

Behind you, the dolls that I made rested, looking at me. They were judging me. I wasn't going to let my problems ruin that moment. My sick mind was not going to stop me from continuing to make love to you.

“My God, Donna... I'm so close...” You murmured, ignoring my declaration of love. Why would I want you to answer me? I said it in a way I which you wouldn't hear me.

My hips went out of control and my arms hugged your body, keeping it close to me, not letting you stop hugging me with your walls, not letting me stop making my way inside of you.

I stopped just when the pleasure became unbearable, letting my heat flood inside you, releasing myself inside you, making you mine forever.

You panted, exhausted. Your nails had scratched my skin as I cum. Did that mean you did it too?

“I think... I think I love you too,” you murmured, responding late to my statement, to my confession, hugging me, kissing me with affection, with that affection that I lacked.

“Don’t dare to leave,” I said with a dark voice, before consuming myself again in your kisses.

“I won't do it,” you answered on my lips, keeping me inside of you, not wanting to separate you from me.

I thought I liked being alone, but now I know I couldn't live without you.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

invades ur inbox again............ ur post abt the baby not being the yans inspired me, what if reader was pregnant but it was their baby ? :3

listen, i don't want kids, but there are some fictional men out there that give me baby fever like never before </3

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, delusional behaviors, obsessive behaviors, mentions of reader being pregnant and giving birth, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Pantalone would be thrilled but also a bit hesitant to have a kid. His position as a Harbinger makes him a high value target and thus you by association. He does his best, buying out all the best doctors he can find across Teyvat to watch over your pregnancy and ensure there are no complications. Anything you need or crave or ask for, he’ll have for you.

Pantalone sighed in relief as he entered the room, you had been quite restless these past few days, feet swelling to the point you couldn’t walk, but you had finally settled enough to lay down for a nap. The stress of pregnancy was tough on anyone and he did his best to help soothe the pains, help fulfill every craving, and reassure every worry. Everything he could do to help make things a little easier on you he wasted no time in completing. When it came for check ups and any other medical care, he made sure the best of the best were always readily available for you. He wanted to ensure nothing happened to you or your child, as not only was that the heir to his fortune, but a part of him growing in you. This child would tie you to him forever.

Yandere!Diluc while keeping calm on the outside would be absolutely freaking out on the inside. He doesn’t know how to be a father, he couldn’t even be a good brother! He’ll spend his free time reading up on first time parenting books, paying closer attention to the mothers who pass by with their kids as he tries to pick up on some subtle parenting tricks.

Diluc sighed as he absentmindedly wiped at the same glass he had been cleaning for the past twenty minutes. Just outside the tavern, right in view were a mother and her child. The child was throwing and fit in the middle of the walkway and the mother was trying to calm him. The noise wasn’t a problem, the walls of the tavern were pretty thick, it was just the thought that Diluc would be in that position one day soon. His own child pitching a fit over some small, ridiculous thing while he flounders about, desperately trying to find any solution to the incessant crying. Thinking back to his beloved, who was currently at home under strict bed rest orders, and he longed to see them. To lay beside them in bed, retelling all the bizarre things he’d seen out the window of the tavern today, discussing what kinds of parents they wanted to be and how they would handle it.

Yandere!Zhongli is thrilled, inside and out, to be a father. While he’s lived for many years and has been a role model to many, he’s never had a proper child of his own. He of course maintains a calm and level head, but you’ll see him visiting the shops in town more often, chatting with the older women about his soon-to-be child and asking advice.

Zhongli smiled at the older woman as he picked a few flower arrangements for you, being stuck inside the house all day could be so drab, he hoped to brighten your day up even if just a little. It was no secret around town anymore that the handsome gentleman was a father-in-waiting, and with everything he talked about with the lovely women who helped their husbands run stalls for many years, it was clear he had a good grasp on what to do. Zhongli was more than just an esteemed gentleman with stunning looks, he was an intelligent and strong partner, the perfect type to raise a child with. His darling boss Hu Tao even offered to give him reduced shifts for a few months when it got close to birth and after so that he could be there to help with the first few months.

[stuckinapril]

how do you fall in love with yourself

unlearn the idea that confidence is conceit. i see this belief imposed on women especially, that if they’re very unapologetic about loving themselves it automatically means they’re narcissistic / think they’re better than everybody else. that’s not true at all. you can love yourself while also acknowledging you’re not inherently better than anyone else. you can love yourself while also being kind & supportive to others. it’s okay to be both of these things at once.

let go of the scarcity mindset. women (everyone really, but especially women) get pitted/compared against each other all the time. you see it w female celebrities in the media, but it’s very prevalent in real life as well. this is very much years of societal conditioning & both women & men partake in this behavior. ignore it. rest easy knowing that there can be multiple beautiful women, multiple smart women, multiple funny women in any environment at any given time. there is enough clout to go around; you don’t need to feel like if there’s another pretty/smart girl it means you no longer have the space to also be a pretty/smart girl. instead operate from an abundance mindset: always (alwaysss) be happy for other girls when they succeed, when they’re praised, when they’re loved, whatever. see them not as competition but as inspiration. envy is such a colossal waste of time bc nobody else’s accomplishments have any bearing on your own!!

get to know yourself more. i love the analogy of dating yourself bc it’s true. i went through a rough period of being around my ex 24/7 to the point i didn’t even know myself, and then i spent the post-breakup year hanging around everyone else constantly to numb my thoughts. now i’m spending more time alone than ever & i’m getting to know myself so much. learning about my taste in fashion, music, everything. and i’ve had so much more time to invest in hobbies & skills, which is very instrumental to building healthy self-esteem. ofc there’s a more balanced way to do this, but make sure you’re not running away from yourself!

what do you like outside of everybody’s opinion? don’t interpret this the wrong way—it’s completely fine to be inspired. every single person you know has copied someone else to an extent. but if you find yourself going too far, not trusting yourself to make the simplest decisions, just following trends blindly and nothing else, you’ve left the inspiration territory and started crossing into plagiarism. move from a place of self-direction and really think about what is naturally appealing to you. it doesn’t matter if it’s not popular or nobody else likes it. if you like it & if it makes you happy, that’s all you need.

practice self-love! i had to do this lol but it works wonders. i started intentionally telling myself that i trust my own taste, that i trust my own choices, that if i think something’s cool it’s good enough, talking to myself kindly etc etc. eventually all this stuff will become natural to you & you won’t find yourself having to expend so much energy into simply loving you for you. don’t give up even if it’s hard to believe at times.

don’t give a fuck. seriously. just don’t give a single flying fuck what someone else has to say. there will always be That One Person who tries to tear you down, belittles you, gaslights you etc etc and if you know in your heart you’re not doing anything wrong, just ignore and keep it pushing. you can’t be everyone’s favorite person (nor should you want to be). think of your favorite celebrity. anyone ever. they probably all got subjected to hate. now think of how they’re successful still & how it didn’t take anything away from them. there you go <3

if literally everyone on this planet starts hating you, loving yourself is still the antidote. to clarify, how others perceive us does hold weight. but if legit every single person i know started hating me, and i still loved myself, i’d probably still live a full life bc my perception is all that really matters in the end. i don’t need anyone else to be my #1 fan—i can do that myself just fine. it technically is actually your world & everyone else is just living in it. so enjoy that! stop giving a hard time to the one person who will always be w you through thick and thin (yourself). eat good food & watch good shows & read good books & just have fun. i love u

[luna0713hunter]

Kiss me where it hurts the most

Zoro Roronoa x reader

Summary : sometimes,things happen and hearts break. Sometimes,everyone need a good cry. But maybe hiding away and crying alone,away from your boyfriend wasnt a good idea.

Warnings : none,just hurt/comfort,reader is having a hard time,break downs and panic attacks,soft zoro,fluff

For anyone who's having a rough time :) hope u get well soon

*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘

Leaning against the wooden wall of the storage room,you calmly sit down and try to make yourself as comfortable as you possibly can in the small space behind the stored boxes. You try to be as quiet as possible;not wanting to make any noise and wake someone up.

You didnt want to be found just yet.

You knew what you were doing wasnt actually wrong;after all,its only human nature wanting to hide away and have a little alone time. But for some reason,you felt guilty. Guilty for running away from your friends' help,and your boyfriend's concerned gaze.

It was too much.

Your life wasnt all sunshine and flowers,thats why you chose to join the StrawHats and sail away; hoping that maybe becoming a pirate,may solve your problems. But boy,you were wrong.

Problems seem to sail with you as well. And no matter how hard you tried to bottle everything up,at some point,it was bound to break,and break you as well. So when everything became too much,you skipped dinner,told your boyfriend that you're tired and instead of resting,you found a secret spot in the storage room to calm down.

And when the first tear rolled down your cheek,you knew you were screwed;once your tears start, there's no stopping them.

You hands tightly press against your mouth as you squeeze your eyes shut and try to muffle your cries. Everything feels so heavy. Too fucking much. You have no idea what finally triggered your breaking,but whatever it was,it fucked you up good.

You lower your head and rest your forehead against your knees;since when life became so complicated? sure,ever since you remembered,you understood way too much,more than your age. You were always the kid trying to make everyone feel better,helping them and be a shoulder they could lean or cry on. But ironically,no one ever did the same for you.

So when your own boyfriend,Zoro,tried to make you talk,of course you shut him out;not understanding why he would waste his time listening to your nonsense. You were fine,maybe feeling a bit down and suffocating,but you were fine.

You wouldn't want Zoro to leave you after all with your problems-

Zoro would only hate you-

Who we would want someone with so many baggage after all?

Trying desperately to shut up the voices in your head,you wrap your arms around your head to cover your ears;so when a pair of rushes footsteps hurry toward you,of course you dont hear.

You jerk shakily,your eyes snapping open when a pair of hands settle on your shoulder and squeeze with a small amount of pressure;trying to ground you and make you look at him.

Him

Your lips wobble as your eyes lock with Zoro's;and with a sudden rush of panic,you try to push him away.

He doesn't move.

"Y/n," his voice is thick, heavier than always, " whats wrong?"

When you dont answer and choose to bite your lips until they almost bleed,with a sudden move, he's pulling you to his chest

"babe,tell me what the fuck is wrong. I swear I'll fix it."

And thank god your face is buried in Zoro's chest;because as soon as those words leave his mouth, you're breaking down again.

Your sobs are loud and heartbreaking to anyone listening,and you feel Zoro's arms squeezing you tighter. You wrap your own arms around his back,and burry your face more in his shirt;taking in his soothing scent.

Zoro always smelled liked rain,apples and freshly cutted grass.

"baby girl," his voice is soft as he rubs up and down your back;one hand combing through your hair, "dont cry. Tell me whats wrong. Who hurt you? I'll kill them myself."

"just," your throat feels hoarse after crying so much,but you manage to get out few words, "stay. Dont go."

And Zoro never denies you anything.

So you just sit there. Half in Zoro's lap,with your arms wrapped around his neck,and your face buried in his neck. His hands never once stop rubbing your back,and for someone not a fan of talking,he never stops his sweet words and gentle praises.

For you,Zoro is always a different man.

After a long time,when you're finally calmed down and tired from all the crying,Zoro leans his back against the wooden wall and pulls you completely in his lap to cradle you against his chest. Your eyes are heavy when you look up at him

"sleepy?"

And after a nod from you, your eyes fall shut when his presses his lips to your forehead.

"then sleep. We can talk when you're awake."

With another nod,you close your eyes and fall asleep. And strangely,you dont dream of anything.

[sleepyjuice]

protective jj protextiive jj protecitice jj ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

yup yup yup say no more ‼️

one thing about jj is that when he loved someone, he was also fully committed to protecting them at all costs. his circle was small, so when he cared about someone, he would do everything in his power to keep them safe.

but with you, he fully knew he would die before letting anything happen to you. and it sure was a task having a beautiful girlfriend, because to strangers eyes, you were just a pretty face and a pretty body, and that was just a blessing and a curse to jj.

keggers always brought out the creeps, and jj’s blood pressure was always just a bit high every time the two of you went. he would still enjoy himself, but he didn’t miss the way guys would stare at you, eyeing your body as if you were just anyones to have. you weren’t naive about it, you knew people stared, but as long as no one tried to touch you or talk to you, you didn’t let it bother you.

but of course, you didn’t live in a perfect world so trouble was bound to find you every now and then. you had a few drinks and you were feeling good. you had spent the day with jj and this was a great way to end the night together.

“yo jj, I can’t get this keg to tap, can you help me real quick?” john b approached you and jj, gently squeezing the blonde boy’s shoulder.

“yeah I got you,” jj answered, turning to you once he spoke, “c’mon, let’s go baby.” he nudged your waist, nodding towards the direction of where john b had ventured back off to.

you shook your head, “nah it’s okay, kie’s gonna be here any minute and I told her I would wait for her here. you go, I’ll be okay.” you assured him with a smile, not missing the hesitation clear on his face. he didn’t want to leave you alone, but he also didn’t want to make you feel like you couldn’t be independent and handle yourself alone for a minute.

he inhaled sharply before responding, “alright, alright, yeah. I’ll be right back.” he told you, giving you a quick kiss before going off to help john b. you took another sip from your cup, pulling out your phone to check if kiara had texted you.

“no way a pretty girl like you is here by herself.” a man’s voice startled you as you looked up from your phone, a touron, presumably had wasted no time invading your space as soon as you were alone, great.

“yeah, no, I’m not. but I’m not interested. so thanks but no thanks.” you told the man, looking back at your phone, hoping that for once, a man could have the ability to read the room.

“jesus, entitled aren’t you? can’t even let me say more than one sentence to you before being a bitch?” the man snapped, his ego obviously bruised. you did feel a little nervous now, uncomfortable with how quick his demeanor had shifted. instead of responding, you turned to walk away but were stopped when his hand grabbed your shoulder harshly, yanking you around to face him again.

he had opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted by a fist to his jaw, and you jumped back in surprise at the sudden violence unfolding before you. you weren’t shocked to see that it was jj who had punched him and you set your cup down as jj kept going at him, reaching from behind your boyfriend to grab onto the fabric of his tank top, trying to pull him off of the guy.

“you think you can just touch girls, bro? when her back is turned to you?” he spat, tensing when he felt someone touch his shirt, glancing back for a moment to see that it was you.

“jj stop, stop, it’s not worth it, please.” you pleaded with him to stop, grateful that he had stepped in to help, but it wasn’t worth him getting potentially hurt over or in trouble.

“you’re a fragile ass bitch, dude. fuckin- apologize to my girl and then fuck off. I’m so serious right now.” jj eventually stopped his punches, but kept a grip on the guys shirt as he forced him to face you. he was indeed a bitch, because he barely muttered out a little ‘I’m sorry’ before stumbling back and hurrying away from the two of you.

“jesus, I leave ya alone for not even two minutes and these douchebags think they can try some shit,” jj rubbed at his now bleeding knuckles before pulling you into his chest, his hands rubbing at your sides, “you okay, pretty girl? you’re not hurt are ya?” you shook your head in response, relaxing into his touch. you hated when he had to resort to violence, but you did understand it in this situation. you were just proud of him for not losing control this time.

“I’m okay, thank you for saving me. that was lowkey hot as fuck.”

(not me getting carried away ummmm oops thank you anon <3)

[unreliablesnake]

MDNI, mention of sex, afab!reader

That son of a bitch shot him on their last mission. König was often in the way of bullets, but this was friendly fire. Ghost and him were on the same side, yet he managed to get a bullet in his side from the Brit. Maybe he was petty for not being able to forgive him. Yes, he did say it was okay, that there was no issue between them, but deep down he was mad at the lieutenant. So what was he supposed to do? Let it go? No, that wouldn’t be right. He hired a private investigator to find out more about him, to find his weak spot.

No one was allowed to see his face, but he heard his surname on the field, then he overheard a conversation about Manchester, and later Soap accidentally called him Simon in the pub during a conversation before making König promise not to tell anyone he said that. “Especially not the Lt, he would murder me if he knew,” the Scotsman slurred with a sheepish smile. He nodded, of course, then forwarded the now complete name and location to the PI.

That’s how he learned about you. Ghost’s pretty little ex, a precious porcelain doll he should have kept locked away to keep it safe. The PI was young, barely thirty and fairly handsome, so he had no issue getting close to your circle. According to one of the women you were friends with, you were the one who ended the relationship. “She said he was away a lot, but if you ask me, it’s the age difference. He was what? Thirty-four? Thirty-five? And he acted like he was over forty. She can do better. Too bad that asshole still bothers her to get her back,” she added with a roll of her eyes.

By the time his current mission ended, König had your address and some additional information about your daily routine on his phone. According to the report, you spent every Saturday with your friends in a pub near your apartment, so he went there and watched you from afar. Then he not-so-accidentally bumped into you, his hand falling on your shoulder as he checked if you were okay. “Careful, you wouldn’t want to waste that beer,” he said with a smile, then moved on towards the bar.

It didn’t take much time for you to find him, taking the empty bar stool next to him and flashing a disarming smile at him. “Your eyes are ridiculously blue,” you blurted out.

You were drunk, it was clear as day, but he didn’t mind. It would be easier to get close to you, to convince you to go to his hotel room with him and let him fuck you stupid. He would record the whole thing, making sure your cockdrunk expression was visible on the footage so Ghost could see what he took from him.

In his head he had everything planned out right to the very last tiny detail, because he wasn’t planning to stop at one night. No. Ghost has a good taste, he had to admit that, this is why he didn’t feel like letting go of a pretty thing like you too soon. He would have fun. Maybe he would marry you. Maybe he would put a baby in you to keep you near. Yes, he could surely turn you into a trophy wife, sitting home, looking pretty, raising your kid right, and of course taking care of the man of the house.

His fingers brushed your cheek as he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes fixed on your plump lips that shined so bright from the lip gloss. There was no way to fight the thought of having you on your knees in front of him, these shiny lips being wrapped around his cock as you tried to take more of him despite your gag reflex kicking in. He would talk you through it, whispering praises as he patted your head.

When you realized he wasn’t about to talk, you turned your head a little to kiss his hand and put a hand on his thigh. “Don’t you wanna buy me a drink, big guy?” you purred with a flirtatious smile.

He had a feeling it would be easy to pick you up, but this was almost too easy. You came to him yourself; all you needed was a touch of your arms as he bumped into you and now you were pretty much begging him to fuck you. Because König wasn’t stupid, he knew that’s what you wanted. And who was he to say no? So he flashed a smile at you then pulled you into a kiss, even slipping off the chair to trap you between the bar top and his body. You had your hands on his hips, thumbs moving under his shirt to draw circles into his skin.

“I have a better idea. Why don’t we go somewhere private, hm?” he asked as he leaned closer to the shell of your ear. One of your hands moved up to his back under the shirt, long fingernails scratching his skin in a way that made him shiver. You were truly something. No wonder Ghost still wasn’t over you. “Let’s go.”

[kishibei]

MOUTH BREATHIN'

shidou ryusei x reader | pwp smut, 18+ | 1.1k words

summary: when your boyfriend's team loses yet another game, you lose your temper. you like to run your mouth and shidou's got just the solution to the problem...

cont: throat fucking, hair pulling, rough sex, degradation, light dacryphilia (?), shidou is mean !!!

shidou doesn't know when to stop. he's never been good at it; knowing how far is too far when it comes to anyone but himself.

your knees hurt more than anything and that jaw he's holding open feels like it's about to unhinge when he tells you to open wider. ryusei's never been gentle, but this feels like it's gonna be his worst— you know it is.

maybe you should've been a little nicer to your boyfriend after his game today; offering him a sweet little kiss and some encouraging words as he walked off the field. but instead, you had yelled, giving him pointers on shit you didn't know two things about.

you realize you should shut your mouth more often, but the time for that introspection is long gone; ryusei's already decided that he'll shut it for you.

...

"ryu! please, i said i was sorry!" you whine, pressing your lips together as the man strokes himself in front of you.

all he does is laugh, tapping his cock against your pursed lips; smearing around the pre that beaded and dripped from its blushy tip. shidou always had a way of making you feel dirty, staining your face with a messy mix of his cum and the lipgloss that once sat pretty on those perfect lips.

you can't help but press your thighs together at that, trying to ignore the desperate clench of your pussy as ryusei grabs a fistful of hair, using it as leverage so that lost and hazy gaze of yours finds his.

"aw c'mon baby, y'know you wanna..." ryusei purrs, long tongue darting out to wet his mouth. he brings his length to your lips again, this time not even bothering to push past them. he knows you'll open up; you always do.

a twisted grin pulls at the corners of shidou's mouth, almost bisecting his face as he watches you part your lips for him. his eyes are trained on the thick threads of saliva that connect the roof of your mouth and the tongue you stick out for him, laughing at just how much you're drooling over this.

shidou doesn't waste any time, shoving his heavy cock down your throat as soon as he's given the opportunity. it's like swallowing lead— the way his weighty length is being forced past your lips and into the wet cavern of your esophagus. you can't breathe, and clutching onto his thighs, you gasp; only making you choke on him even further.

shidou buries himself deeper, smiling as he watches your eyes widen and gloss over; fat, miserable, tears threatening to spill right from them.

"here... since y'know everything, right?" ryusei sneers, gripping the back of your head as his hips snap forcefully. "you can take it, hm? 'cause you're just the best at everything, aren't you?"

shidou lets out a low growl, throwing his head back as you gag on him; the force of your throat constricting around his cock only heightens his pleasure.

you can't take it— breathing heavily from your nose, you nearly hurl; feeling your lunch churn in your stomach from the pressure of it all. bile burns at your chest with how he's fucking your throat now, causing the tears you had tried so hard to hold back to start flowing.

"please, ryu!" you try to squeak out, the words dying in your throat as they're converted into foul gurgles around the man's length. he finds this hilarious, pushing your head down even further until the tip of your nose is buried in the smattering of flaxen hair that covers his pubis.

"still running that mouth?" ryusei teases, pinching your chin between a finger and a thumb. "don't make me fuck it outta you, now!"

your boyfriend doesn't wait for an answer; he knows it's what he's been dying to do from the beginning. so when he gathers you by the hair, unlatching your mouth from his cock— you know it's all been planned, thought out from the very moment you mouthed off at him back at the game.

ryusei practically tears your bottoms off, pouncing on you like some kind of starved animal. it's beyond primal the way he tosses you onto the bed, not caring about how your crown slams against the headboard as he parts your legs. pressing them to your chest, he folds you uncomfortably; the burn of your thighs in this position only makes you wetter, mindlessly gazing up at him now; completely and utterly at his mercy.

you look so stupid under him: blown pupils set in shining eyes, your mouth hung open laxly while drool covered your chin and chest. ryusei chuckles, lining his cock up with your dripping cunt before burying himself deep.

"fuck, you're such a slut! i mean, gettin' this wet off suckin' dick?! how desperate..." he's toying with you now, laughing hysterically as he pushes in until he reaches the hilt, giving you all of him.

you can't help but clamp down on his length as he bottoms out, your cunt fluttering once his hips slammed against yours.

"you like this? getting treated like the little whore you are?!" ryusei laughs. "i'm starting to think you bitch on purpose! just so i can fuck you like this, yea?!"

shidou uses you to his full disposal, chasing his high with the knowledge that no matter what he does, you'll always follow after. he doesn’t let up in the heat of your wanton cries, thumbing at your swollen clit with the sole intention of overwhelming you.

"it's too much! leave me ryusei! i can't...!"

your pleas fall on deaf ears, the man’s pace increasing as his thumbs find purchase in the dips of your hips, guiding you along his shaft with reckless abandon.

he’s good at what he does; knowing exactly what spot to prod at to make you arch into him, how to fuck you dumb, leaving you sobbing and begging for him to give you a break.

ryusei swats your hands away as you try to grab at his wrists, body shaking uncontrollably as you writhe around in pleasure. you're close, he knows you are; the way you're repeating his name like it's the only thing you know is more than telling of the fact.

"ryu... ryusei! ugh, ryu!" is all you can spit out, squeezing your eyes shut as your skin prickles with goosebumps, giving yourself into the height of your pleasure. you whine desperately as you finish, gripping onto ryusei trying to ground yourself.

shidou doesn't let up, still slamming into you as you cum all over his cock. it isn't long until he reaches his own peak, spilling into you with a deep grunt, hips stuttering as he fills you to the brim with his seed.

"fuck!" he exclaims, looking down at you with a twisted grin.

"and i'm not even done with you yet..."

©2023 KISHIBEI do not repost, modify, distrib. or translate.

[finelinevogue]

tears of love

summary - a whole bunch of tears and a whole bunch of love for the album of the year grammy winner

warnings: swearing, tears, shyness?!, slight media hate mention

word count: +3.6k

pairing: new-boyfriend!harry x reader

The night before the Grammys, Harry had never been more stressed.

He had tried everything to get himself to sleep, but no amount of lavender spray or chamomile tea could get his eyes to close. 

He knew he needed a good night's sleep if he wanted to survive the next day, but not even a soothing bubble bath helped him settle down. So he resorted to the one person he knew would help him fall asleep, but he had been too shy to contact at first. 

His phone rang as he waited for you to pick up, his bitten nails a clear sign that he was stressed with both not being able to sleep and calling you. 

“Hi lovie. I’m not keeping you from anything am I?” He asked, not wanting to ruin your nighttime routine.

“Hi lovie. I’m not keeping you from anything am I?” He asked, not wanting to ruin your nighttime routine.

“No, no. Not at all. Wouldn’t even matter if you were anyways.” 

Harry smiled and laid back on his bed, running a hand over his forehead and back through his hair. He pictured you in a similar position, laying in your own bed across the city. He wished you could be laying beside him instead, but your relationship was only recently new and it was too soon to be sleeping over. 

There had been too many people coming and going in Harry’s life that it took him a little longer than most people to become comfortable, and safe, around the people he was dating. He was beginning to think you may be the exception though. There weren't many nights he wasn’t thinking of having you next to him always. He craved the intimacy of falling asleep with you and then waking up in the morning with you still wrapped around him. 

For now, he would have to deal with the fact you were across town and would see you in a matter of hours to get ready for the Grammys.

“Thank you.” Harry said quietly, more for himself than you.

“I forgot to tell you earlier, but my mum says have fun tomorrow.” You said.

“I wish she could be there with us all. I wish my own mum could be there, y’know?” Harry sadly chuckled, wishing more than anything he could spend more time with his loved ones and ones who love him.

“I have no doubt she has subscribed to Paramount plus especially to watch the Grammys, lovie.” That much you knew. Harry chuckled and nodded because he knew you were right. His mum was his biggest supporter, as any mum should be, and he was lucky to have a mum like her.

“I know.”

“She’s so proud of you, H.” You made sure he was reminded.

“I’m more proud of her.”

“Give yourself a little credit. You’ve not always had it easy either. The way the media harrasses you, I would have given up years ago.” 

“I wouldn’t have let you give up, just like you don’t let me.”

“You didn’t know me way back when, H.” You chuckled over the phone and Harry’s heart beamed like sunshine at the sound. There was no better sound for him now. Not even awards calling his name. 

“I wish I did. I wish I could have met you sooner.” He replied honestly, moving one hand onto his chest and over his heart where it stopped. If he pressed hard enough he could feel you there, where his heart was beating a little extra rapidly for you. No one had ever made him or his heart feel the way you do and his biggest regret in life was not having found you and that feeling years ago. Now you existed in his life, it made all the other moments seem insignificant to the ones you were now creating together. 

“Don’t think about it like we’ve wasted time, lovie. Think about it like we needed to break and fix our own hearts, to become stronger, before we could find the strength to begin again with each other. I think my heart is stronger for you than anyone else because of all the heartbreak it took to find you.”

Late night conversations with you were not a rarity, but it wasn’t common for you both to be so ‘heart-on-sleeve’ with each other. You were only 3 months into your relationship, having spoken for a couple months before that too, but both of you clearly felt something more than just a simple attraction for one another. Harry didn’t want to call it love, because he knew the consequences of falling in love too quickly, but he was scared that’s just what his feeling for you was. Little did he know you felt exactly the same way.

“I…” Harry had to stop himself short, “I think my heart is stronger for you too.” 

Harry looked up at his white ceiling, running a hand over his stubble beard that he would have to shave in the morning. Then he looked over to the other side of the bed. The neat side of the bed, where the sheet was still tucked into the mattress. He ran his hand over the expanse of the vacant bed and swallowed back a tearful lump at the back of this throat.

“I miss you.” Harry said softly. 

What he really meant to say was; I need you here. I love you.

You were quiet for a moment, making Harry think he said the wrong thing, but it was only because you were trying not to cry. Your heart hurt over the thought of it taking so much courage for Harry to be so open with his words. His feelings had often been so vulnerable to the crazed media and ex-partners, but with you he had never felt so safe. His feelings had never felt more protected and accepted. You knew what his words really meant and he could tell what you meant when you whispered the words back too. “I miss you too.” 

I love you too. 

•••••••••

Harry had gotten a good seven hours of sleep.

You had gotten a few more, since Harry had stayed on the phone to tell you stories of his life to lull you to sleep. Something about knowing you were peacefully sleeping made Harry fall asleep so easily. He knew you would be able to help, even if you didn’t realise it.

It was now only an hour before Harry had to head off to the Grammy red carpet venue. It was so hectic in his house, where he was hosting pre-drinks and the getting ready antics. Harry Lambert was busy ironing all of Harry’s outfits for the 15th time and Anthony would not stop taking photos. Jeff was busy social networking with Harry’s friends and family, whilst Harry was busy checking his phone for text messages off you.

Y/N: I’m here xx

Harry smiled, leaving his phone on top of his kitchen counter before jogging to his front door in excitement. He was dressed in a rainbow patterned jumpsuit and white boots, his hair styled so perfectly. He looked so fun and young, representing the younger generation of artists this evening.

He opened his front door and smiled so brightly when he saw you standing at the front door looking so pretty. Your hands were cradling a box of cupcakes, a bunch of flowers and a heart-shaped balloon. All of the gifts were lovely, but nothing could put a bigger smile on his face than you.

“Baby…” He pouted when he saw you, cupping his hands over his cheeks as his mouth gaped in shock.

“Surprise! Happy Grammy day!” You giggled excitedly, laughing at his initial shock and love-heart eyes on you.

“You didn’t have to do any of this.” He put his hands over his heart, itching to just have you in his arms now. 

He moved forward to take the cakes and flowers off of you, placing his other hand on your waist to tug you closer to him. He softly laughed as he desperately pulled you closer and titled his head down to kiss you. He didn’t wait a single second to kiss you senseless, giving you more than just a sweet peck. Your hand not holding the balloon snaked up to around his neck and held him close, making his lips crush over yours again and again. 

He tasted like a winner already with your cherry soaked lips on his.

You pulled away flustered, cheeks blushing and lips wanting so much more. You licked your lips to conceal Harry’s taste with you and Harry’s beady eyes watched every movement like he would be tested on it later.  

“Y’look amazing.” Harry spoke quietly, just wanting his words to be heard by your ears. 

“Thank you.” You blushed, not knowing how else to respond. “Did you forget a t-shirt?” You joked, snaking your hand down from around his neck and over his chest. His skin reacted by giving him a chill of goosebumps and a sense of pride rushed over you for being able to make him react in such a way.

“Just thought I’d get my tits out for you, baby.” He joked in return.

“And your millions of fans.” You patted his chest right over his heart he had been touching before.

“No. Just for you.” Harry reiterated, needing you to understand, like most things, he did this for you. He knew how much you loved it when he embraced his own masculinity and showcased who he truly was with his clothing, so when it came to choosing outfits for events he always kept you in mind and what you thought might be a good option. It seemed he had chosen well with the way your eyes had dilated upon taking him all in. 

Harry couldn’t help but lean in to kiss you one more time, turning into two, three and four. You smiled into the end two, making it harder for Harry to kiss your soft lips but he made do anyway. He couldn’t get enough of you, not even caring that he now had lipstick on and around his own lips.

“Are you coming in?” Harry asked, always making sure you were comfortable with everything before making you actually do it.

“I need the loo, so yes please.” You nodded. Harry took your spare hand in his and he walked you through the front door, shutting it with his foot behind him. 

He could tell you were nervous by the slight tremor in the hand he was holding, but he gave you a soft squeeze to let you know you were alright. He realised it was daunting to be in a room with a group of people you barely knew, apart from Harry Lambert and Jeff, so he made sure to stick close by. 

All Harry ever talked about to his friends was his undying adoration for you, but the majority of them had yet to meet you because Harry enjoyed keeping you just his for as long as possible. Your relationship wasn’t public, but even if it was your social media were private so the fans wouldn’t get a hold of anything anyways. Harry’s friends knew he had someone romantic in his life, because his smile hadn’t been so bright in years. 

They were all excited to meet the person responsible for the rebirth of Harry’s happiness. 

“Y/N!” Harry Lambert shouted across the room, putting down his iron and walking over to you with open arms. You would’ve done the same, but Harry kept a grounding hold on your hand, which you were very thankful for, and so you let Harry Lambert reach you before hugging him the best you could. 

“Hi!” You laughed as Harry Lambert hugged you.

“Oh you look incredible, darling!” He gasped as your outfit, similar to the way your Harry had. 

“Thank you.” You, once again, blushed.

“Harry is very lucky.” 

“I know.” Your Harry spoke up, pulling you back into his side with a tug of your hand. You smiled as he kissed the top of your head, feeling the butterflies all over. Your nerves were already calming just by having him close by like this.

“I need pictures of you two later, okay?” Harry Lambert warned you, knowing that you would both try and get out of it.

Once he had walked away, Harry walked you into the kitchen some more and dumped the cakes and flowers on the obscenely large kitchen counter. A chorus of hellos sounded as you both walked in the room and made yourselves present.

Harry took his time introducing you to every person, getting you to hug them as you did so. Everyone was so kind and lovely, complimenting you on your beauty and your outfit and your ability to bring out the best in Harry. You began to feel a little tearful towards the end of greeting people and after you were done you told Harry you were going to the toilet.

He didn’t think twice about it, until you still hadn’t come back after ten minutes. Yes, women stereotypically take longer than men in the toilet but ten minutes was quite long for you. So he went in search of you, seeing as you had to leave in five minutes anyways.

He went straight upstairs to his bedroom, knowing you would’ve chosen his bathroom rather than the downstairs one out of familiarity. He knocked on the door softly before opening it slowly. When he made it inside, he softly shut the door behind him to notice you weren’t in the bedroom. He rounded the corner to the bathroom and that’s when he saw you standing at the bathroom mirror with a tissue, drying away the tears that had clearly been running stray. 

“Baby… What happened?” Harry cooed, walking in the room and urging you to face him by cupping your cheeks delicately. 

You looked to the ceiling, trying to keep the next round of tears at bay, before shrugging your shoulders at Harry with a sad chuckle. “I don’t know what came over me! Just feeling a lot of emotions right now. Proud of you but then just feeling so loved and accepted by your friends.. It’s.. I.. Just, it’s a lot!” You laughed at how silly it sounded now you were trying to explain how you felt.

“Oh you emotional softie. You’re going to be a right water fountain today, aren’t you?” He rhetorically asked, but you nodded with a laugh regardless. 

“I can’t control it!” You exclaimed, your eyes watering over again. Harry chuckled at you, eyes crinkling and dimples showing from smiling so hard. “I’m not even sad. If anything I’m too happy!” 

“Well that’s a good thing, hmm?” 

“Yes, it is. Sorry!” You apologised for crying, feeling silly. “This is so embarrassing.” 

“Cry all you want, baby. It’s your day as much as it is mine. Any wins are yours to celebrate too.”

“Oh fuck off, you’re making me cry again…” You whined and Harry laughed along with your tears, before helping you reset your makeup in time to leave. 

•••••••••

You were backstage at the Grammys, in a room large enough to house all of Harry’s friends and family he had brought with him. 

Since you two weren’t publicly official, you decided it best if you stayed in the back room whilst Jeff, Kid and Tyler sat at the table with Harry. 

You had cried so much already from Harry winning best pop vocal album and his performance was just absolutely perfect. Someone had even had to bring another box of tissues for you, since you’d finished the first one you had been given. 

Anthony Pham had been taking photos of all the backstage fun and reactions, since Harry had asked to be kept updated on everything. Especially all of your reactions and enthusiasm. You had recorded yourself dancing and singing to his performance, ready to show him later.

“Oh my god, it’s the album of the year category.” Someone screamed and you pulled yourself away from the conversation you were having with Sarah to watch the screen.

You were already sitting on the sofa, but the next few moments of your life would be grateful for that.

The fans of the artists lined up on the stage, ready to give their respective artists the Grammy. Harry’s fan was an older woman and you aspired to be her when you were older. You couldn’t wait for the day you were 70 years old and still attending a Harry Styles concert with a feather boa. The woman was so cute and she reminded you of your grandma. Harry loved interacting with old people, so you were sure he would find her and hug her no matter the outcome of the award.

Trevor Noah stood centre stage and held the card in his hand. Everyone was on the edge of their seats waiting to hear the reveal for the biggest and most prestigious category the Grammys offered. 

“And the Grammy for album of the year goes to…” Trevor said.

He opened the envelope and paused for dramatic effect. 

You sat on the edge of the sofa, your leg bouncing anxiously. You clasped your hands together and stared at the screen so you didn’t miss a single moment. 

You were confused when Trevor didn’t announce the winner and instead moved over the fan of Harry. People in the room around you started to gasp lightly, catching on to what might be. Then the woman shakily held onto Trevor as she said the name.

“H-Harry Styles.” She said before screaming in congratulations. 

Your head fell into your hands as you sobbed. You had never cried so hard before, but this was an emotion worthy moment. Your sobs were heavy and loud, but they were silenced by the roar of cheers and laughter in the room. You were too buried in your hands to see, but everyone was up and screaming for Harry, running around the room. Sarah and Mitch had collapsed on one another in happiness. 

Someone came and hugged you from where you were hunched over. “He did it, Y/N, he did it!” They screamed excitedly and you couldn’t help but just cry and cry. You had never felt pride like this. 

Your emotions were so strong for someone who you’d only gotten to know for a mere five months. You were overwhelmed by how you felt for Harry in that moment, feeling nothing but… love.

Taking your face out of your hands you sat up and watched him with blurry eyes on the screen with his award. He himself looked really tearful and shaky with adrenaline. You just couldn’t put into words how you felt in that moment. 

The next five minutes were a complete blur. From Harry accepting the award from the woman, to Harry’s speech with Tyler and Kid. After they walked offstage you started crying all over again the minute someone said; “Harry is a three time Grammy winner!” 

You had no idea what you were going to say to him when you saw him, even if you saw him again tonight. No doubt he would be swept up in interviews, photos and parties. No matter, because you would have the rest of forever to express how proud you were of him. 

Anthony was busy snapping photos and you reminded yourself to have a look at them later, when you could actually see past your blurry eyes. 

As you started blowing your nose on a new tissue the uproar in the room started again and you shot your head around to see what was going on, only to see your boyfriend walk into the room with his Grammy held high. He cheered as his eyes watered, people patting him and ruffling his hair. Sarah gave him a tight hug and he kept on thanking her, no doubt because she had much of a part in the album as Harry did. 

You kept back, wanting Harry to get treated with the love from his closest friends and family first. You kept crying, picking out new tissues from the box every twenty seconds from how quickly you were using them. You definitely knew you looked a state, shoulders shaking from crying and clapping your hands in cheer. 

Harry’s eyes kept on you as he hugged the last few people, not turning his head away for one moment. You shook your head as you warned him not to come close, because he would only make the crying worse. You held out your hand to keep him at bay, walking backwards as he walked forwards. Harry was quicker than you, though, and used the arm not holding his Grammy to pick you up at the waist and give you a twirl. He spun you around, before safely landing you back down. 

You laughed out a sob when you finally got to look up at him close. A strand of his hair had fallen down over his forehead, but you made no effort to move it back into place. 

Cupping his cheeks with your shaky hands you licked your lips to wipe away the salty tears. His own tears were now silently falling, his eyes intensely focusing on you. His thumb was stroking soothing lines into your back and all you could think about was how he made you feel.

“Harry… I..” You started, hiccuping in between words.

Harry nodded encouragingly, “It’s okay. You can say it.” His eyebrows frowned as he anticipated what you’d say next.

“I.. I love you.” You said with a smile. 

Harry smiled nodding. He knew that’s what you wanted to say, because luckily he felt exactly the same way about you.

“I fucking love you, Y/N L/N.” And his lips were on yours for the rest of the night. And the rest of forever.

[sh0tanzz]

is it me or do i like men groveling

can i request riize second chance romance if that makes sense:’)

(ur work is amazing pls continie keeping us happy^^)

i love groveling men too it’s ok anon 😗

RIIZE SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE ~ based on their birth charts

reminder this is just based off of my opinion after looking at their birth charts and what I think would happen from my own observations these things are not exact fact unless they said it themselves !

Shotaro

SO MUCH ANGST OOOH MY GOF. Would be the most mature on the outside but on the inside he’d be ☹️☹️☹️. “I don’t even care about what she’s doing” [checked your instagram and other socials to see if you’re grieving as well or seeing someone new] He wouldn’t necessarily go out dating looking for a rebound he’d focus on his craft in all honesty and might even seclude himself a little bit. I see him taking a break with his s/o instead of just flatline breaking up and once he feels like he has emotionally healed as far as he can he’d return and it would be pretty serious like in a private closed space he’d want to talk everything out and NEEEDS you to be honest abt everything but he’d just want you guys back together and for both of you to be happy.

Eunseok

(I feel like Eunseok is aware that he could potentially fall victim to the “the one that got away” trope) but anyway. He’d be the biggest nonchalanter to ever nonchalant 😭 might even try to stay mutuals/cordial with you. Would date, see other people, have a mini roster and fwbs going on. But as soon as he realizes everyone else is boring him and wasting his oh so valuable time (And he hates. To waste his time.) he’d get so irritated at himself for letting go of such a good thing and would criticize criticIZE CRITICIZEE himself. Forces himself to not run from/internalize how he feels he’d reach out again, wouldn’t be the most sappy return ever he might even joke about what happened but he’d be as honest as he could ever be and would surprisingly admit where he fucked up.

Sungchan

His pride and the hurt he carried during the time apart would hold him back so badly. Would improve himself and boss up similar to Shotaro to show you what you were missing; try to find attention and praise elsewhere. But when he realizes you did the same thing and also became better in every way possible physically, mentally…and that people still have their eye on you like they did when he first met you..he’d cave. Would HAVE to shamefully put his hurt and pride aside. Cue his dramatic serious text at 11pm and him asking how you’re doing to see if the good things he’s heard about you were true (prays you say no when he asks if you’re seeing anyone) would ask you to meet him somewhere that was important to you two and nostalgic. Almost kills him to be wrong but has to accept it 😭

Wonbin

He’d be like “whatever” since he knows that so many girls want to be in your place, might even consider sliding back to that one ex. Would be torn between just letting things go back to normal but his stubborn stagnant attitude would leave him stuck in a victim state. But then once the pain slowlyyy seeps in and that what you two had was something genuine and you were one of few people that actually understood him and physically compatible with him then on the inside he’d lose it. Would have a wayyy more sappy lovey dovey way of coming back. Cue him using music in some way shape or form as his way of coming back. Would probably want to physically see you in a place that he’s most comfortable with.

Seunghan

So so sassy. Honestly he’d walk away pretty fast but would miss you pretty fast right after. He’d hesitate but only because he knows that he probably got a little mean when you two split and that you might not even want to talk to him. Tries to go dating around but wakes up and gets it together once he sees/hears that you’re talking to someone new (10 extra points if it’s someone he doesn’t like or thinks isn’t even close to how attractive he is ) . Tries to be cool about it but is hurting inside, would ask everyone for advice. The emotional side would take over and he’d just have to listen to how he feels and think later. His way of coming back is essentially him outdoing whoever has you on their sights or him showing you the epitome of affection. He’d have to force his virgo mercury to work and speak UP and apologize.

Sohee

Would seem pretty ok and normal compared to everyone else similarly to Eunseok. Talks about you but wants to jump someone if THEY try to talk about you. (“can’t believe she’d do this” “yea she’s crazy asf” “Don’t say that 🫤.” ). (Cue him singing “When I was your man” by Bruno Mars 😭). He wouldn’t want to constrict and limit himself or you after the breakup so he’d also try to date/talk to other people. Has to give in and accept that thinking about you while hanging out with someone else is a CLEAR indicator that he needs to get off his high horse and return. He’d probably word vomit about how he feels about everything and apologize but also goes on this passive lecture on how you two shouldn’t allow each others feelings to rip you two apart like that again and the principle of it all.

Anton

Word vomit pt.2. Could go two ways. Way one if the breakup was on good terms/mutual after the breakup he’d probably remain friends or still be in contact with you, then once he realizes he can’t just move on at the snap of his fingers and realizes that every person he’s with has resemblance to you whether it’s physical/personality he’d impulsively talk to you and get right back if he can. If it was on bad terms it’d feel pretty cruel ngl like you’d feel like he kinda just disappeared and made his way elsewhere..but once he’s alone with his thoughts he’d have to realize the errors of his way or the faults on his side he’d IMPULSIVELY come forwards with how he feels, would probably ask you to dinner and have the conversation there and says everything that he has to.

[yanderes-galore]

Could you do a Virus AU Fluttershy concept?

Yeah, sure! If anyone knows a better way to have the virus start... let me know!

Infection order for the AU can be found here

Previous - Twilight Sparkle

Next - Applejack

Yandere Virus! Fluttershy Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Love virus/Yandere virus AU, Love potion/spell gone wrong, Manipulation, Forced affection, Clingy behavior, Stalking, Mentions of blood/violence, Overprotective behavior, Forced relationship attempted.

Fluttershy, according to the poll, is the second pony to be infected.

This is surprising as the pegasus mostly spends time with her animals and Discord.

Twilight is the first infected, having been afflicted with the virus by trying to make a love spell/potion.

Or at least... that's a vague explanation for how everything starts.

Poor you is immune to the virus due to having the love magic cast on you.

You have no idea what's wrong... but other ponies find you irresistible.

This is obviously not Twilight's intention, she may have already felt a crush towards you and wanted you to fall for her, regardless on if she was yandere behavior.

But instead of making you fall in love... others fall in love with you... including Twilight.

Fluttershy probably gets infected due to you running to her for help.

Discord may be immune due to his chaos magic, but Fluttershy is not.

The pegasus is shocked when you come knocking on her cottage door.

She opens the door only to see you shaking and terrified.

In fact... does she spot blood on your coat?

Are you injured!?

Fluttershy wastes no time dragging you inside to tend to you.

She quickly grabs medical supplies and gets to bandaging your damaged skin.

She quickly asks what happened and you answer with fear in your tone.

Supposedly Twilight has gone rogue.

Some sort of experiment made her act weird towards you.

When you visited her she came at you with a violent yet possessive behavior.

You barely escaped her, which was the reasoning behind your injuries.

You fear Twilight is still looking for you... so you came to Fluttershy for help.

The pegasus... such a kind soul... promises she'll help you as best as she can.

Unbeknownst to her she's already fallen for the virus.

Fluttershy offers to have you stay with her in her cottage as you heal.

Discord may be the first to notice something wrong with Fluttershy.

The pegasus seems oddly protective of you when you express fear of Twilight.

Well... that's mostly normal.

But soon Fluttershy is leaning against you and nuzzling into you.

You feel fear envelop you when she wraps a wing around you or tries to kiss you at times.

Slowly but surely the virus takes its toll, causing the normally kind pegasus to become possessive over you.

She begins to lose control of herself.

When you're all healed... you thank her and say how you're going to get help before anypony else gets hurt.

But why should you get help?

You have her to help you.

You begin to realize your mistake of coming to her when Fluttershy starts blocking the door.

After all... you came to her for help, right?

If you go out there... Twilight could get you.

Neither of you want that, do you?

So... stay at her cottage...

She'll take good care of you.

Forever.

You end up having to get Discord to help you or sneak out.

If not... Fluttershy plans to restrain you in her cottage.

Can't have you getting yourself hurt, right?

When you manage to break out of her cottage you kick into your adrenaline once again.

You can't go to the library... you can't go to Fluttershy's home...

So you choose another destination...

You make your way to Sweet Apple Acres... in hopes neither Twilight or Fluttershy will follow you.

[marlynnofmany]

The Mechanic’s Burden

I pushed my way into the engine room with a tray of food, wondering what was keeping Mimi from his meals this time. He was a dedicated sort, taking his job as spaceship mechanic seriously, and sometimes that meant long hours grumbling in the guts of the ship.

“Dinner!” I called. There was no sign of green tentacles among the viewscreens of the main room, and I didn’t feel like guessing which passageway he’d gone down.

“Thanks,” grated Mimi’s rough voice from somewhere to the right. “Up here.”

I followed the sound of someone rummaging through a toolbox to find Mimi perched on top of one pipe among many, in front of an open electrical panel. Wires were everywhere, most held aside with twist ties to bare the problem area. Mimi clutched tools in many tentacles. He was the very picture of an annoyed octopus digging through his toolbox for more. I wasn’t sure which pipes he’d climbed to get there, dragging the toolbox up to what was head height on me.

“Hi,” I said. “Where do you want it?” There wasn’t space for the tray on the curving pipes next to him.

“Eh, over there.” Mimi gestured with a mini-welder toward a mostly flat surface on a bit of engine housing at knee level. “I’ll get to it eventually.”

I set it down. “Hopefully you can take a break soon. This is pretty tasty: roast fursqueak from Zhee’s planet with some kind of Frillian shrimp sauce.”

“Hm,” Mimi said absently.

“The sauce is a good one, though it’s a flavor that kinda sticks with you.”

“Uh-huh.”

I dug in my pocket for a stick of gum, deciding that I’d rather not have that particular flavor follow me around for the rest of the night. Mimi was likely too distracted to care, but it was only polite to offer him one. “Want some gum for after you eat? It’s peppermint flavor.” (We’d already had the “this is food you don’t swallow” talk, so it was all down to taste. Not everybody onboard liked mint.)

“That’s the one that tastes cold, right? No thanks.” Mimi shoved the tools around a bit more, then heaved a deep sigh that made him seem to deflate.

I moved closer for a better look, trying not too breathe to much mint at him. “What’s the problem?” I could see a wire sticking out of the mess, with the covering stripped off the end and the fibers twisted flat.

“A stupid one,” Mimi said. He started putting tools back in the box. “It took me all day to track down where the disconnect was, and it turned out to be just one single loose wire. Can’t believe how much time I wasted checking everything else.”

I considered before speaking. “You know you can ask for help, right? Not everybody’s busy today. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.”

Mimi waved a tentacle instead of shaking his head-body. “It’d take longer to train someone else than to just do it myself.”

“You sure?” I pressed. “They wouldn’t have to know everything to be an extra set of hands. Or tentacles.”

“There’s a lot to know,” Mimi said. “Even this loose wire takes a delicate touch to weld back in place. You’ve got to put the welder on just the right setting, secure the wire but not get your flesh too close, and watch through a filter so you don’t hurt your eyes.”

“Yeah, sounds like welding to me,” I agreed. “Do you have a welding mask?” I didn’t see anything that looked like a face shield, or even sunglasses. Not that those would fit his cephalopod head anyway.

“A small filter is fine for this scale,” Mimi said, holding up a dark paddle-shaped thing. “The mini-welders don’t throw sparks.”

I realized that he had enough tentacles that he could hold a thing in front of his face and still be able to work. No need for goggles strapped to his head. Must be handy.

He was still talking, warming to the subject. “Now while I could train somebody else to weld effectively, I don’t want to risk she ship’s integrity on a rookie. I also don’t want to send anyone to Eggskin with burnt extremities because they tried to hold the wire in place without fastening gel.”

I peered over the edge of the toolbox. “Can you hold it with pliers?”

“This mess doesn’t leave much space for pliers,” Mimi said, pointing a tentacle tip at the nest of wires. At the depths of all those, I could see the spot where the stray wire was meant to go. I could probably get a hand in there. But yeah, pliers and the welder both wouldn’t make it easy to see what you were doing.

Mimi said, “Now I could disconnect a couple sections, but I’ve wasted enough time already. I’d rather just stick it, weld it, and be done. But of course I already used all the gel in this box.” He gave the toolbox an irritated rap with the welder.

“Want me to go get you some?” I asked. “Where is it?”

“Ah, that would take too long to explain. I’ll just go grab it myself.”

“Wait. What about—” I took out my gum, wrapped it around the covered part of the wire, then reached in with fingertips and stuck it against the other end. “—That? Did I get it placed right?”

Mimi was quiet for long enough that I started to worry that gum was bad for wire casing, or was somehow explosive around alien welding tech. I probably should have asked first.

But then he raised the welder without a word, and held the viewing filter in place. I looked away while the welder glowed and fizzed.

“Done.”

I turned back to find him putting the tools away.

“Did it work?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Hooray!” I grinned. “Want me to peel the gum back off, or is the area still hot?”

More negating tentacle waves. “No, definitely too hot. I’ll get it after I eat.”

“Okay. Can I at least take this down for you?” I lifted the toolbox.

Mimi sighed. “Sure. Thank you.” He climbed down the pipes, suction cups popping quietly. That would have definitely been hard to do with the toolbox.

“You know,” I said, putting it down near his food, “Even Eggskin isn’t the only person on board who knows basic first aid. If they got hurt, we wouldn’t be panicking because they’re our only medic. You’d probably be doing your job even better if you made sure at least a couple other crewmembers could do basic troubleshooting.”

Mimi settled into place beside the tray, looking like he was trying not to sigh again. “You make a good point,” he admitted. “But I get pebbleskin just thinking about Blip and Blop rushing to adjust a loose rod, and jamming something that would cause a cascading failure.”

“Well yeah, you’d want to be careful who you entrust with what task,” I said. “But they’d be great at moving heavy things, like those panel covers you had to take off before.”

Mur scooped up a mouthful of food. “They probably would. As long as they follow directions and don’t touch anything else.”

“I’m sure they can do that!” I smiled. “If you need any wires cut or packages opened, Zhee and Trrili will be happy to do precise violence with their pincher arms. I can reach things up high, and…”

“And Paint would make a good heat sink, snuggling against overheated components,” Mimi said. “That’s occurred to me before.”

I laughed. “She’d probably love that. Who needs a heat shawl or other coldblooded accessories when you can take a nap in the engine?”

“She’d do it, too.” Mimi scooped up more food. “But no letting your cat in here. I know that animal likes warm things as well, and it would make the overheating worse.”

“You are absolutely right. No cats in the engine room.” I nodded. “Just crewmates.”

Mimi waved a tentacle and mumbled something about writing up a list of training possibilities after he ate. I left him to it, wishing him a good meal, then leaving with my minty gum and a quiet smile of triumph.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).