#and as detrimental as that was to my forming psyche

[housewifebuck]

I kinda did want all that info but didn't know how to word it correctly. So thank you for sharing.

Ur SO welcome <3

[satanachia666]

Hot take: Taking medication for mental health reasons is NOT the enemy of spirituality. Medication doesn’t inherently dull/reduce your intuition, psychic abilities, or spiritual gifts. In fact, in my experience, taking medication is an important form of psychic self-defense for many of us neurodivergent people. I find that when I take my medication, I’m more grounded, which helps me function better in both a worldly way and spiritual sense. Medication also makes it easier for me to use discernment and apply the knowledge I’ve gained as a worldly and spiritual being to my life. Taking my medication regularly has contributed to a lot of the progress I’ve made in my life, health, and spirituality. I’m far from perfect and still have my struggles, but I’d be far worse off without my meds.

I have no doubt that if applied without a bigoted lens, medical science, psychology, medicine, and medication count as healing magics in their own right. While it’s possible to experience problems with any of the aforementioned things, I’ve found that they’ve helped me WAY more often than they haven’t. It’s true that the medical world has a lot of catching up to do in terms of social issues, seeking unbiased research, and giving people the help and care they need. Nonetheless, I still got the COVID vaccine because the science behind it is MUCH more solid than any other available option out there, and I’m happy with my decision. Getting vaccinated didn’t reduce my spiritual awareness or intuition, nor did it change my DNA.

Any spiritual fear-mongering related to COVID vaccines is anti-science and harmful because it’s not only fake, but it actively discourages people from getting vaccinated for COVID or even just the flu shot. When less people get vaccinated, sickness is more likely to spread, especially to people with compromised immune systems. This is all-around Not Good. If this sounds like you, then at some point, you need to ask yourself why you need to do *this specific thing* (not getting vaccinated) to protect/cultivate your spirituality, when there are plenty of other ways to do exactly that without endangering other people in the process.

It’s not your fault if you can’t get vaccinated due to health reasons. I realize it’s not possible for everyone. But many people who aren’t getting vaxxed are not in that situation and are deliberately refusing to get vaxxed, including for spiritual reasons.

If you’re actively not getting vaxxed because you think not getting the vaccine will benefit you spiritually, you’re wrong. If you think not getting vaccinated somehow benefits the world, you’re wrong. If you don’t understand how refusing to get vaccinated when you can/should is bad for humanity (especially for people with chronic conditions and disabilities), I definitely question where your spiritual journey is taking you and what you’re getting out of it. After all, part of developing spiritual awareness is realizing how your actions impact other people.

I encourage all of you to question all anti-science rhetoric and conspiracy theories. While I don’t think the people who fall for these ideas are necessarily bad people, I think they’re misinformed to their own detriment. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Plus, I’ve learned that it’s much easier for ill-meaning entities and malevolent spirits to attack and manipulate people who aren’t taking psych meds when they actually need them. I’ve experienced this myself and I’ve seen it happen multiple times since then. Basically every time a person doubled down on not taking their meds, the more they were attacked and harassed by bad spirits and entities with ill will. Taking the right psych meds makes it harder for spirits and entities to aggress you. Don’t say you’ll skip meds in favor of psychic protection techniques when medication is already an important part of protecting yourself mentally.

If you’re someone who needs psych meds, then the stability you get from taking them will benefit your life, health, and spirituality way more than not taking them ever will. Getting vaccinated won’t change your DNA or hinder your psychic growth, but there’s a good chance it could either prevent you from contracting COVID or decrease the severity of your case. That alone makes it worth it. There are plenty of others ways to cultivate your spirituality and psychic abilities that don’t involve risking your life and other people’s lives.

Question anyone who tells you to forgo any kind of medical treatment or psych treatment you need in the name of their spirituality. They have their own agenda they want you to conform to. Cults often encourage people to refuse medical and psychiatric treatments in favor of prayer and other practices that aren’t science-supported treatments on their own. Science is its own form of magic and embracing it won’t hinder your spirituality.

[cakerollk]

I absolutely LOVE your ocs! You're able to play into dark themes and mental illness without it being the 'cringe 13 yr old emo' shit and I adore you for that

Most people's ocs have 'the fun quirky kind of mental illness' as some call it but yours have that sense of realism that itches my brain as a psychology major and you portray how detrimental it can be to a person fantastically

-Shadow Anon

omgg I'm guessing you're here bc of Phin? (cuz he's the only one who I alluded to having some form of mental illness more than the other ocs?)

But thank you for the praise waaa;; while I'm no expert at the human psyche, I do think its soooo fascinating to dissect and look into; esp in regards to fucked up characters who have a more nuanced way of thinking.

(E.g Phin's whole deal with his gender + perception of perfection, the deeply rooted religious cult trauma affecting how Gozu interacts with the world around her, Sycorax's inability to feel love/empathy being similar to symptoms of psychopathy.)

I do try to do my own research, but still I am not by any means perfect, so if I ever portrayed any form of mental illness in a poor way pls don't hesitate to tell me!!

[dukeofankh]

So in my wandering in the wilderness of Reddit for several years, I spent most of my time in r/Menslib, a feminist subreddit concerned with the challenges of deconstructing patriarchy as a man. It largely sucked. In short, I think that the norms of men's social spaces are foundationally incompatible with the sort of work that you need to do to heal men. It's not failing to materialize because men aren't trying, it's that people are trying to make topiary with flamethrowers.

"You Just Don't Understand" is a pop-psych book by Deborah Tannen about comparing the conversational norms of gendered spaces. It's hardly definitive or universally applicable but I found it mirrored my own experiences pretty well as a queer/neurodivergent guy who's never really fit in in men's spaces. She says that in the case of men, the most basic building blocks of conversation are built around jockeying for independent, individual reputation and heirarchical status. Men focus on topics external to them, rather than sharing personal feelings, because the fundamental structure of conversation is conflict based and being vulnerable would expose you and your most intimate self to that kind of combat.

It's also why men tend to be so competitive about their niche hobbies --they found a pond small enough that they can be the big fish. The problem is when that pond is Feminism.

Putting aside the staggering number of men whose idea of being part of the movement is just publicly dunking on men who they percieve as less feminist than they are (implicitly demonstrating that they are winning feminism by comparison), there's also this rebranding of the basic toxicity of rugged independent stoicism into a new, progressive-tee-em version:

"Struggling under the Patriarchy? Just do your own thing. Systemic issues? What systemic issues? Sounds like someone just doesn't want to do the work. Looking for community and support and role models because you're facing judgment and disdain from others? Are you really though? Maybe you're just making it up as an excuse to not be a Sigma male--I mean, good feminist. I mean, I do what I want, and I'm killing it, so you must just not be as mature as I am yet."

People respond to desires for help, community, and movement with surprisingly bitter disdain. People who open up about how hard it is to face judgment for acting contrary to hegemonic masculine norms tend to get met with calls to just get the fuck over it. A lot of that seems to be that a fair few men have a sort of pride for doing what they consider to be "the best job at being a nontoxic man" without any help, and they look down on men who want to have any sort of larger movement or support system in place to make that easier. It being easy would make them seem less cool for succeeding.

Men don't tend to welcome discussions of the personal, like I said above, but what shocked me going there after tumblr was the degree to which lived experience was considered...I mean, not even lacking in inherent value, it was more thought of as an active detriment. Your personal experience? That's based on your feelings. You've almost definitely warped that with your own perspective, and you shouldn't trust it.

As an extension of that, there's a sort of structural difference in how culturally, men and women's discourse seems to function. With women, it is a collection of narratives, the most common and shared blending together to form a consensus. With men, it is much more a system of gatekeepers and experts holding court above a throng. The ideal relationship is more prophet/disciple. Presuming your idea is good enough to share therefore must mean that you are assuming that level of heirarchical authority. But if your idea was good, then you would have a degree and a book out. If you don't, if you're some random guy from the internet, and you sharing your perspective HAS to be challenged or else people are implicitly granting you that authority. And what follows is the most hellish pedantic bullshit you've ever seen in your whole life. Someone knowing more than you is someone who could look down on you. So there is a major incentive to find even tiny, inconsequential mistakes, to prove that they're a pretender to the throne you see their opinion as claiming.

The result in terms of the actual moderation is a massive focus on external links and articles to spur conversation, with most actual text posts written by users being deleted immediately. I've seen posts about people's history of growing up in the Patriarchy being removed because they're just "personal anecdotes and they don't have any citations", ive seen people being told "hey it's fine if you want to squabble in the comments on an article from a legitimate source but I don't think your personal ideas are really suitable for a full blown POST on the FRONT PAGE of our SUBREDDIT. I could make a whole post about the fact that the existence of Mods with an editorial viewpoint fundamentally changes the power structure of a community, but ultimately it was pretty depressing to see the extent to which instead of camaraderie and community you instead had to deal with a bunch of Redditors cosplaying at being part of an academic journal.

It's not some sort of unique moral failure on the part of men--the other half of Tannen's book makes some excellent points that having a conversational culture built off of the norm of building community doesn't actually prevent there being conflict and hierarchy among women. It's more that that conflict is expressed using the language of community. If you have a visceral response to a post starting with "friendly reminder..." you already know what I mean.

But the structure I encountered on Reddit is so starkly atomized, and I honestly don't see how it is even capable on a basic, structural level of doing the work it wants to do.

[cursed-elo-images]

Hi.

It’s been a while.

I usually try my best to establish a happy, positive theme on my blog. Now, this is not to say that I’m no believer in the existence of toxic positivity, as I do indeed express the belief that it is a destructive and harmful ideology. Also, sometimes I do turn off my “positive weirdo” persona and talk about negative things if need be. It’s just that I like to provide a space that I can enjoy, posting stuff about ELO for my amusement, and, to attract other ELO fans so they can use this space as a form of escapism and just enjoy the finer things in life.

But, I need to get serious.

So I’ve been bored. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve ran out a lot of ideas for posts, and yes, even cursed low-effort posts, which is what I usually post anyways. I’ve been feeling down lately, in the fandom. Not the Tumblr side of the fandom, this side is great!!! I’ve just been feeling sad at times and anxious. However, I still love this fandom and I don’t want to leave it.

I don’t know, I just don’t know how to go about this blog. I don’t know how to go about frequenting the fandom in general either. I still feel relatively “new” I guess? I’ve been a fan since 2020, but I haven’t really been in the fandom until early last year, since I struggled to find fandom content in that three-year time gap. So, it’s been really fun, I’m just not used to being so immersed in the fandom yet at the same time I gathered a lot of knowledge about these individuals and exhausted all of my curiosity. I feel satisfied, yet at the same time I feel bored. Fulfilled, yet somehow there’s something missing.

I don’t know. I’m doing alright, though. I wouldn’t trade being in the ELO fandom for anything in the world. I’ve learned a lot, and I became a better person as well. I love the band and the fandom so much, it’s a family to me.

My lack of fulfillment I suppose is what’s bringing me down (no pun intended). I get anxious regarding if I really should be messing around in the fandom, and if liking this band is even worth it, or detrimental. I’ve never felt this before, and I don’t know why I do now. But that’s not how I truly feel. The fact that I have intrusive thoughts that ELO isn’t good enough for my life is making me sad. Of course they are. Their music brings me comfort, and their stories make me laugh and entertain me. The people behind this art truly taught me a lot. Friendship, perseverance, acceptance. They are truly amazing and mind-blowing, for I did not expect such individuals to be so intriguing and thought-provoking.

I’m going to push through it. I’m going to push through the ugly lies my mind brings up, and I’m going to hold on to what I can so I can thrive. That means: loving ELO. I can’t not love them. I can’t feed into the falsehoods from the deep recesses of my psyche.

No matter what I do, I’m keeping my head up.

Regardless, it’s nice to post again and I hope we can see new cursed post from yours truly soon!

[averagenotnormal]

WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR CARRIE AND CY (and The Baby) IN THE @group-oc-tournament​ EVENT

Dr. The Cyclone (any pronouns, created and owned by @snakolyte​), Carrie (she/her) and The Baby (any pronouns) are all Homestar Runner fan characters who have definitely always been there in the background don’t worry about it.

Despite being listed as “The Cyclone Family,” Cy shares no relation to Carrie or her child. Instead Cy signed them all up without telling Carrie because he thought it would be funny.

Carrie is based on a carrot headed looking guy in the Brothers Chap’s sketchbook, whom they don’t even know what they were supposed to be. My character now.

Despite similarities in name and appearance, Cy is not related to The Hurricane. They’re closer related to Marshie. It’s fine.

Once Carrot and Kazoo Hill was no longer a prominent night life locale, Carrie moved in under it to raise her child. She tends to be more weirded out by what her neighbors get up to, but isn’t above helping out in shenanigans or creating her own (usually including experimental “food hacks,” or that one time she fell for a pyramid scheme.)

Cy is a very strange scientist, creating all sorts of inventions ranging from actively detrimental to only occasionally useful. It’s unclear why he does any of this. Such experiments include Marshie’s physical form, the release of Mr. Poofers onto the Free Country, USA collective psyche, and lots and lots of disposable clones.

Carrie and Cy get along well enough, and are willing to extend a helping hand to one another - even if they don’t always understand the other’s thought process. Carrie will help Cy obtain materials for her inventions, Cy will try Carrie’s questionable cooking, and both are always down for bowling.

(Bonus Carrie doodles to show I DO draw her often, just. Not in a very clean manner.)

[fasterthanmydemons]

would pietro have TSA (twin separation anxiety) in the Sotg verse? after seeing those results for basch and noah I think pietro and wanda would also have it but mostly pietro. I could totally see him turning to rocket or mantis for comfort since they're the ones who are talking to him the most for now (as much of an asshole as rocket can be lol)

{out of breath} First of all, thank you for reading my huge headcanon post over on my other blog. You are awesome. =) For those who don't know what the Anon is referring to, I basically analyzed by muses' mental (and partially physical) health over on my other blog for their MCU verse, kindof as an evaluation report they would have done before they could qualify to do field work with the Avengers. If you're interested, you can read it here. I'll put the actual ask answer below a cut because long, heh.

TSA (twin separation anxiety) is a specific type of anxiety that happens to twins when they are separated from each other. It doesn't necessarily have to be under traumatic circumstances. It could be going off to separate colleges, moving out and having their own places, one twin beginning to date and the other feeling left out, etc. In other words, normal growing pains and milestones in life can contribute to TSA, and that's okay. It's when normal TSA isn't handled properly, or when TSA results from a sudden and/or traumatic separation, that it can have lasting detrimental effects on the twins' psyches, such as some anxiety disorders, insecurity, uncertainty about oneself and their future, fears of abandonment or of being alone, and even lashing out in the form of erratic emotional or physically violent outbursts.

Pietro and Wanda both have longstanding experience with TSA, unfortunately. They first experienced it shortly after their parents died and they were placed into an orphanage that separated girls from boys. Because of this and because the twins were said to have been "too dependent" on each other, they were kept separate a lot, which resulted in Pietro sneaking over to the girls wing to see Wanda, and then in them running away from the orphanage to avoid being separated again.

The twins' TSA only got worse once they volunteered for the Hydra experiments. They were kept in separate cells, were afraid for each other's welfare, but could not always see or communicate with each other. This was a serious shock to them, since they had always been so close before.

In MCU canon, Wanda experiences TSA to an extreme degree after Pietro dies. She also experiences what is known as being a "twinless twin," which is a specific type of grief and trauma response someone experiences when their twin dies.

In an AU where Pietro lives, they both still experience some TSA just from having their own separate rooms in the training compound, being trained separately and differently, falling in with different circles of friends, Wanda starting to date Vision, being sent on missions separately, etc. None of that is necessarily bad, but before that, they were extremely emotionally co-dependent on each other, so any kind of separation is going to cause anxiety at first.

And then once again, imprisonment in the Raft heightened the effects of TSA on the twins by physically separating them under stressful conditions. Not only were they worried for each other, but they were each under a lot of stress without the one person in the world they were most used to going to for comfort.

So by the time he gets to the SotG AU, Pietro's TSA is pretty damn bad. Wanda's... hmm. It's not that Pietro has it worst than Wanda, but Wanda has an easier time of it for a couple reasons. First, she has Vision to support her. Pietro doesn't have anyone but Wanda, to that degree at least, except in verses where he's shipped with someone. Wanda is a lot more mentally stable at that point in her life than Pietro is. He is more prone to emotional and violent outbursts, he either overshares or completely closes off from others and switches between those at random, he takes things very personally, and the more time he spends without Wanda, the more unhinged he becomes in a lot of ways.

In AUs where Wanda dies instead of him in AoU, or if he's alive during the Blip but doesn't get snapped like she does, he spirals out of control very quickly and can becomes suicidal. Wanda never really got to that point until the end of DSMoM, after she'd lots not only Pietro, but Vision (like what, three times?), various friends, and her sons. So Pietro is actually a lot more emotionally fragile and vulnerable than Wanda is. It takes a lot more to break her down than it does him.

So at the time SotG is happening, Wanda is a lot better supported and more mentally stable than Pietro is, so that makes the effects of TSA worse for him. By that point he is very jittery, his nerve damaged arm and hand shake a lot worse and more often, he has even more trouble sitting still, and his behavior is erratic. He'll go from crying to yelling to shutting down all in one hour. And all those insecurities he's been picking up throughout his life (being the worse twin, his ADHD symptoms making him feel stupid and like he can't learn, and the times he couldn't protect his sister making him feel like a bad brother) are also amplified as a result.

These kinda of asks give me life, so thank you for asking! =)

[monologuerhead]

Socializing through Silence

[I wish you wouldn’t interpret my silence as silence.

My silence is, in fact, a compliment. It means that I am being my natural self. It means that I am comfortable around you, that I trust you enough to engage my way of knowing, my way of speaking and interacting.

When I dilute my silences with words— your words, the out-of-the-mouth and off-the-cuff kind— I often do so out of fear. Fear that my rhetorical commonplaces— the commonplaces that lie on my hands, spring in my eyes, or sit nestled in empty sounds— will bring you shame. Fear that my ways of communicating will be branded as pathology, as aberrant, as not being communication at all. Fear that I will lose my job. Fear that I will lose your friendship, guidance, or interest in me. Fear that I’ll be institutionalized. Fear that I will be infantilized. Fear that I will be seen as less than human.

This isn’t to say that my use of your language is always a product of fear. There are times when I genuinely want to use it, understand it, and learn about and from it. I understand that speaking is how you prefer to communicate. I understand that speaking is how you best learn and interact. I understand that you take great joy in speaking and listening to others speak. And I do, I really do want to share in that joy.

But the burden can’t always rest on me. I have a language too, one that I take joy in, one that I want to share. And when you deny me that— when you identify my silence as a personality flaw, a detriment, a symptom, a form of selfishness, a matter in need of behavioral therapy or “scripting” lessons—  when you do these things, you hurt me. You hurt me deeply. You deny me that which I need in order to find my way through this confusing, oppressive, neurotypical world.

My silence isn’t your silence. My silence is rich and meaningful. My silence is reflection, meditation, and processing. My silence is trust and comfort. My silence is a sensory carnival. My silence is brimming with the things and people around me— and only in that silence can I really know them, appreciate them, “speak” to them, and learn from them.

Speaking is an unnatural process for me. When socializing through speech, I will almost always be awkward, and I am OK with that awkwardness. In fact, I am learning to embrace that awkwardness, learning to reclaim and redefine that awkwardness. I am sorry you’re not OK with that, sorry that you feel I need to practice, or take anti-psychotics, or frequent the university hospital’s psych ward. I’m sorry that you won’t appreciate me for who I am and how I operate in the world. I’m sorry that I can no longer consider you an ally, confidante, or friend.]

M. Remi Yergeau, Loud Hands

[scribblelegs]

Euphoria is a feathery chill down your spine as a light illuminates inside your soul and emanates out your body.

It’s warm, it’s vibrating, it’s pure joy.

It feels like how heaven feels, how you’re supposed to feel I would think to myself

Then back to the shadowy closet for another crystallized line to burn my brain and warm my body. Numb. Nothingness. It washed away in those moments and I didn’t care anymore

How the cloud would form over my head when the bag turned to dust and I was empty again.

How the shadows climbed the walls and the secrets we shared were spilled all over the floor. And the voices would scream

In my ears to jump out of the window cos I didn’t matter. And my

Mind would believe it.

If euphoria was worth it the rain that followed after wouldnt be so vast and detrimental to my psyche and being as a whole.

I haven’t used since last summer and I am proud of that. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it

I won’t go back but writing sure helps

[piqueconcentration]

Jitterbug Perfume - Immortality, Sex, and Discomfort

Originally posted January 31, 2024

As is apparently my preferred introduction: It has been quite a while since I have written anything on my computer, but as generally happens after I manage to read or, dare I say it, complete an actual, tangible book, I now am doing so. I type this knowing that Google docs is using my writing to train adolescent artificial intelligentsia, and theoretically I could make the switch to another software, but as is the case with Adobe, the monopoly’s Matrix-style robotic belly-button parasite keeps a firm hold on my psyche, with an extra bonding agent in the form of a powerful distaste for the effort that it would take to learn an entirely foreign user interface, just to marginally weaken the hold that Google has upon my intellectual property, when they are already in possession of basically all of my identifying information. They could probably construct an AI that would perfectly replicate my online presence, idiosyncrasies and ego included, and the only thing that they would have to do at this point to make convincing blog posts from my perspective is post them about as regularly as an agave flowers. If anything, if this particular post goes up on the internet at all, maybe that’s a red flag- I would have to be a mind outside of my own in order to return to a creative project even after my attention span’s honeymoon.

Whatever. I finished a book, and now I am compelled to write. Actually, I finished two books. The first was Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn, the first of the Mistborn trilogy, one that i meant to read way back in high school because some youtuber that I liked at the time had recommended it for its magic system- magic systems, as a concept, I would continue to grow increasingly interested in; the books would remain untouched on my shelf. The second was lent to me by one of my housemates, though I can’t remember the conversation that led to that happening- Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins.

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, the declaration about me being compelled to write after reading books is only true in the barest sense. Yes, I do feel an urge to write after being exposed to writing that I like, but by no means does that mean that I actually end up, or even begin for that matter, writing anything at all! Also, that same urge doesn’t just apply to writing. I consume manga at a frightening pace, and though by saying this it may imply the opposite sentiment: I do not say that in order to brag- the speed at which I go through webcomics and manga alike is, frankly, detrimental to my experience of the media in question, as I end up retaining almost nothing of what I have had my head immersed in so much that my neck develops knots that hold it at a painful right angle to my torso. I don’t really stop and breathe in the images that the mangaka probably spent hours and hours drawing; if anything, I mostly pay attention to the words written on the page which, in turn, presents a palpable irony in that the reason I have felt unable to read traditional books in recent years is that my attention span balks at walls of text! 

Hey, authors! I won’t read your book even though I’d probably like it, because it doesn’t have any pictures in it! Show me your work once you’ve learned to draw!

Oh, holy shit the irony goes even deeper. Even though I feel that creative urge when I read manga, all of my attempts at making comics or even working to be skilled enough at drawing to feel confident in my capacity to do so are stopped in their tracks by the thus far insurmountable obstacle of not being able or willing to pay attention to the thing that I’m drawing for long enough to finish anything. Good lord. 

______________________________________________________________

Anyway, the way Jitterbug Perfume was written really affected me. I still can’t tell if I liked it very much (the writing style), but to be fair, I really loved the way George Elliot’s Middlemarch was written, but I have been thus far unable to finish that book by virtue of its inexhaustibly prim density; therefore I suppose that the content of a book and its writing style tend to stay fairly separate considering my enjoyment, and the former aspect seems to have a stronger influence on whether or not I actually manage to make it to the back cover.

In this case, the content was excellent. Jitterbug Perfume was described to me as being about immortality, smell, sex, and beets, and I can’t honestly think of a better way to describe it. It’s a jigsaw puzzle of a story, if all of the pieces on the table were from different moments in time, and at the end, when the pieces fit, you are left with a complete picture that somehow shows an unbelievably cohesive, intimately personal tale, despite the massive scope, time-wise (there are very important events that take place before the advent of Christianity, and plot points of similar influence continue to happen all the way up until modern day).

Now that I think about it, the quality of maintaining a story’s characters and relationships, and especially keeping them as tantamount to the direction and tone of the piece, even when the scope of the story has expanded to include over two thousand years of history, even if that history is embellished upon or entirely invented, is an incredible achievement, and one that I think deserves unending praise. So frequently I find myself put off of pieces of media when, though I once enjoyed them for their characters’ dynamics or their dialogue or their writing styles, those aspects eventually were beaten out of the story by the growing scale of the events taking place. It becomes very difficult for me to continue to be invested in the little things that I like, and for that matter, for the author to continue stipulating on those little things’ presence, when suddenly the fate of the world is at stake, or the consequences of failure become so dire that there is no longer room in the work for mirth. 

Jitterbug does this by keeping the story focused almost entirely upon a static set of characters. In all honesty, I do tend to find it a bit grating when a book throws pretty much all of the people that will be introduced over the duration at me all at once, and I also tend to get annoyed when a book switches perspectives back and forth frequently, as it is inevitable that I will be more interested in one of the followed points of view above all of the others (or vice versa, that one of the points of view is especially dull). Let it be known, though generally the book in question pays most attention to the characters that happen to be changing the most, it does do this.

The upside, though, is that even as the setting around the characters morphs drastically with all the changes associated with the world and culture since literally the year 1, the reader is still anchored in the everyday realities of the main characters. The tone of the story stays heavily reliant on each of their emotional states and their changing dynamics. The plot directly follows in the tracks of the characters’ desires and aspirations. As opposed to them being “interesting” people to be around in situations that they have no agency in, they are the driving force of the plot itself, and in this way the book can get away with a mind-boggling amount of in-universe time passing without it ever detaching the reader from the story, or impeding their willingness to care.

That feeling of detachment is exactly the sentiment behind me dropping To Your Eternity by Yoshitoki Oima, a manga that also tackles the concept of immortality, but in a way that I eventually found extraordinarily grating.

Some pieces of media, especially if they continue for a really long time, and even more especially if they are about characters that live much longer than a normal human lifespan, end up bestowing upon these characters a very particularly draining character arc: eventually becoming the most fucking boring people ever. This isn’t really, I don’t think, a product of repetition of personality beats -One Piece, for example, has a main cast that are each fairly one-note, but to me they remain compelling because of the unrelenting new situations, characters, and settings that they rotate through- rather, a common sentiment on the concept of immortality is that a person who is subjected to it will elect that it is a much smarter thing to avoid attachments and emotions as a way of staving off the pain of repeated loss. Combine that with the formula of introducing a bunch of new people, spending a lot of time with them, and then killing them off and meditating on how pointless it all was, and you will have on one hand: a philosophically engaging story about life’s purpose and value; and on the other: one that I will not be reading anymore. Fuck you.

Each time skip in To Your Eternity, my dejection would build, and even though I did enjoy the concepts therein quite a bit, I eventually quit reading when there was a time skip that jumped over so many years that the archaic setting I had been enjoying was gone, along with any characters aside from the protagonist that I may have liked, and I no longer had the will to continue.

Anyway, the point is that Jitterbug Perfume deftly avoids this problem by holding the human experience as an inalienable thru-line. Longer-lived characters don’t become harder to identify with- if anything they become more dear to the reader, as the sentiments that are the crux of their longevity are easily identified with. Their goals, whether they are aware of it or not, are the preservation of emotion and connection- things that the reader can presumably empathize with quite well.

The writing style I would describe as “irreverently confident and connotatively confusing.” The majority of the instances in which Robbins describes anything in this book are unrelentingly riddled with descriptors of every kind, and often of opposing kinds- many sentences use several adjectives to describe a single thing, and the adjectives often carry wildly different connotations. A single line may depict something as both gorgeous and disgusting, just by virtue of the words chosen. Jitterbug is more than willing to yank the reader back and forth like this, and the literary whiplash results in this sort of all-encompassing feeling of mild discomfort. The prose itself is captivating, but in less of the fashion of a ballet performance and more so like a lapdance that really walks the line between attractive and nauseating.

Regardless of whether or not I enjoy the style personally (I still can’t really tell, but I’m leaning toward the favorable side), it strikes me as being exactly what the author wanted. Off-putting, certainly, but one hundred percent intentional. A significant portion of the book’s subject matter consists of topics and sentiments that are at most culturally taboo, and at least playing fast and loose with modern morals and sentiments, especially when it comes to sex. This book, which I really enjoyed, which made me smile and frown and think and even write… will not shut the fuck up about sex.

Every character is steeped in it. Every metaphor is constructed with it. I feel like I could purchase a brand new copy of this fucking thing and its pages would already be stuck together. To get a sense of my feelings (historically) about this- one of my favorite quotes of a friend of mine is from when they asked me: “Hey [my name], would you rather have sex or be stabbed with a knife?”

My point about the “motion sickness” writing style being that it works in favor of the subject matter. The fact that the whole novel is written in a way that makes the reader a little nauseous, figuratively, creates a tone that is much more conducive to, well, not necessarily the intimate discussion of what our society views as crossing lines in the social sand or what should or should not be allowed, but rather the regular enunciation of kind of uncomfortable topics. Combined with a fairly unconcerned and playful tone, the book is able to deftly accept the discomfort that arises from a journey that holds sex as a central theme while progressing through several different settings -cultural and chronological- all with differing views and judgements about a traditionally awkward topic.

Anyway, I liked the book. There is a sentence in there that goes: “Like jugged bees, the funeral orations droned on (134).”

If you think you can make it past all of the disconcertingly flowery (ha, ha.) descriptions of bodily fluids for long enough to make it to that absolute banger of a quote, this may be one to check out.

[lukespsychblog1234]

Luke's Psych Blog #2

Entry #1

Upon entering the second half of the course, I have learned many concepts I have related to thus far. Firstly, I want to discuss our overview of the interdependent vs. independent views of self. As I thought about how I view myself and go about different social relationships, I realized that I fit within an interdependent framework of self. The dynamics within my family and social life reflect this framework, as I have made distinctions on how to act depending on which social situation I am in. Further, I have a tight-knit social group in which I have maintained the same friends for a very long time. To reiterate, this reflects an interdependent view of self, in which I see myself. As I have grown up, my family has stressed aspects of an interdependent culture that promotes a collectivist approach. I have many cousins and my dad grew up in a big family, in which we keep in touch with often. Seeing each other as often as we can is a very important aspect of our family dynamic, which further promotes an interdependent relationship.

Entry #2

After going over Chapter 8 of the course material, I feel as though there are aspects of the chapter that all university students can relate to. Motivations of self-enhancement/self-esteem can be difficult when first entering university, as you are entering a new stage in your life in which you have not adjusted yet. In my case, I feel like once I first came to Stfx my self-esteem was altered, and it took time to feel comfortable here. Even when looking at the "Making Choices" section of the chapter, discussing how it can be detrimental to have a lot of choices to be made. When you are first in University, choices of where to stay, who to hang around, and whether to go out, can put a lot of mental stress on you and can be detrimental to academic success. Lastly, something I related to within my university experience is Learned Helplessness. It can be hard to say no to events you are not used to when first entering university, and you may want to go along with it to try fitting in.  

Entry #3

When looking at Chapter 11, I believe I have high relational mobility in my life. The opportunity to attend university has created many opportunities for me to form new relationships over the last few years. I also feel as though since attending university, I have become subject to the Propinquity effect, which describes one becoming friends with people they are around often. Being in such a small town, you get to know a lot of the people you surround yourself with, making it easier to make new friends. Through childhood and adolescence, I found it easy to introduce myself to new people, and once I started at Stfx I found it challenging to do so, however over time it became easier. This experience in much different than being from my hometown in Dartmouth, in which I feel as though I am always seeing new people. This distinction is unique to Stfx, and I believe this can be seen as a selling point to incoming students.

Entry #4

I thought the discussion of secularization in Chapter 12 was very interesting. As someone who was forced to go to church every Sunday my whole childhood, my attendance declined to only going once or twice a year once I was a loud to make that decision myself. This is a topic of discussion that needs to be met with sensitivity, however, in my own case I have used what I consider rational reasoning to come to decisions in my own life. However, I believe there are certain aspects of the religion I was raised to follow that still affect my life today and the moral obligations that arise from following this religion. However, when looking at the aspect of Christianity that claims we are more likely to feel that someone has control over our thoughts is not something I attest to. I believe I have total control over my actions and thoughts and am ready for whatever consequences that might arise from these. 

[punnybonessnas]

PERCY when is PJ happening??

"Alright, listen up. I swear Rory's already answered this same question, so I figured I didn't need to add my two cents to it. Apparently, that was naïve of me."

"When is PJ happening? Absolutely never. Because even if we were to have a biological child, they would have their own name.. their own identity. Paper Jam is the "ship child" of the OG's, which we very much are not. Not to get too.. "meta" for most creators' liking."

"With that caveat out of the way.."

"I can't say for a certainty that it won't happen. Rory and I are outcodes, so we'll be around for a long, long time. Even within just the last couple of years things have changed drastically. My perception, and definition of our family unit has expanded multiple times now. Even fairly recently, with Ace waking up and splitting off from Rory's psyche."

"I have a grasp on the changes now, but it was a challenge to navigate through. And predictably.. I still have nightmares about losing all of them.. I don't necessarily want to add a newborn to the chaos, to my sometimes crippling fear and anxieties. My partners and I are deeply traumatized, we're still struggling to heal from it.. raising a child right now, would be a huge detriment to them. We're just not capable."

"That's not even getting into the logistics of it. While it may be something I once longed for, it's impossible for me, and extremely dangerous for Rory. If it were to happen, we'd need outside help. There are surrogates in Omega, other destroyer/protector couples have successfully and safely utilized them to have accidentally-formed soulings without the risk of permanent soul damage.. but the survival rate for an outcode souling is exceedingly low."

"So maybe now you'll understand why we want to avoid that scenario altogether. If it happens someday, we'll deal with it.. and if by some miracle the child survives, I would be the best parent that I was capable of being.. we both would be. But we'd rather avoid that anguish altogether."

"So if you would kindly STOP pushing the notion on us, it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED."

"In other words, FUCK. OFF."

[aalactaotao]

We Bare Bears Appreciation (Repost)

I have something to confess: I never outgrew cartoons. Cartoon Network and Disney Junior are pretty much my favorite channels. Courage The Cowardly Dog, Doc Mc Stuffins, Adventure Time, The Regular Show, Clarence, and Sofia The First are just some of the programs I avidly watch.

It may be because I’m over-saturated with negativity in real life that my psyche sought solace in the safety and child-like innocence offered by cartoons. The daily news too is replete with death and dirty politics that it has gotten rather mundane. Also, I don’t watch soap operas especially the ones in my country because it depicts life in a two-dimensional manner where everything is either black or white with no grey area in between. It doesn’t reflect reality nor does it have at least some artistic merit for art has long since been dead in the Philippines- but that’s another story.

In the recent months wherein there was a dearth of books for me to read, I decided to give television another try. As to be expected I couldn’t last through a minute of local made Telenovelas that I had to flip through the channels. Over there on Cartoon Network they were advertising a new show called “We Bear Bears.” The thing that caught my attention the most was the manner with which they travelled; they stood on all fours on top of one another with Ice Bear below, Panda in the middle, and Grizz on top. Not to mention the fact that these bears are tech-savvy too.

On the instances that I could not be able to watch “We Bare Bears” on its regular time slot at CN, I had YouTube to fill me in. The episodes when they were baby bears and up for adoption are beyond adorable. Since then I have faithfully watched the show and hope that there will be more episodes to come.

Cartoons, I believe, are not just for children. As adults we all need a safety net in whatever form; in my case it is the notion of going back to the halcyon days of my childhood where everything is calm and relatively safe. Television programs like “We Bare Bears” are a breath of fresh air in the visual entertainment field that is polluted with too much Hedonism.

We live in a world that glorifies the lust of the flesh. Sex is pushed on young girls and drugs are promoted as hip. Children grow up too early- their innocence gone by the age of twelve with the proliferation of sexual themes on everyday entertainment.

If they’re anything like me- that is, tired of the same stinking shit the media likes to pass off as “art,” they’d go back to basics and watch something that isn’t one layer thin from being pornographic, something like “We Bare Bears.” I agree we shouldn’t over-protect our children for even biology dictates it that we need some “bad” bacteria in our bodies to be able to develop immunity from diseases, but too much of anything, especially negativity, is obviously detrimental to anyone’s well-being.

This summer, nothing beats a typical afternoon in an air-conditioned room with snacks and a drink, all while watching a nice run of a clean and comedic cartoon. My choice this afternoon? “We Bare Bears!”

[fiftysevenacademics]

The idea of generations is really a modern form of snake oil – an easy way to explain the ills that plague society

Recently, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine in the US published the results of a consensus study on the idea of generations and generational differences at work. The conclusions of this study were clear and direct: there is little credible scientific evidence to back up the idea of generations and generational differences, and the (mis)application of these ideas has the potential to detrimentally affect people regardless of their age.

Where does this leave us? Absent evidence, or a valid way of disentangling the complexities of generations through research, what do we do with the concept of generations? Recognising these challenges, we can shift the focus from understanding the supposed natures of generations to understanding the existence and persistence of generational concepts and beliefs. My colleagues and I have advanced the argument that generations exist because they are willed into being. In other words, generations are socially constructed through discourse on ageing in society; they exist because we establish them, label them, ascribe traits to them, and then promote and legitimise them through various media channels (eg, books, magazines, and even film and television), general discourse and through more formalised policy guidance.

We must also ask ourselves, what accounts for the ubiquity of generations? This is a complex question, with multiple answers. The simplest one, perhaps, is that generations persist because they are a convenient (albeit imperfect and misguided) heuristic that appears to help us make sense of the complex phenomenon of ageing. Thinking about age in terms of generations takes an otherwise complicated task – determining how age matters for the types of everyday social interactions that we have with people of different ages – and reduces it to remembering a few groups with known characteristics that can be readily mapped on to social behaviours.

With generational labels and concepts in hand, people start to seek out the relevant behaviours in others. If we think that people from ‘Generation A’ are supposed to act entitled and narcissistic, then we will likely treat them as such. Generations and the assumptions that we make about them create a lens through which we interact with others, shaping various forms of social behaviour. The lens of generations also shapes how we view our own behaviour, and it is possible that some people internalise the role prescribed to them by their generational label and the stereotypical ways of thinking, feeling and behaving that are associated with it. For example, it is a common misconception that members of younger generations are more narcissistic than members of older generations. Importantly, this belief does not necessarily apply to one generation versus another, but reflects a stereotype associated with youth in general. If we are to believe that members of a certain generation possess increased levels of narcissism, then we are likely to seek out and focus on those behaviours that could be classified as narcissistic. In doing so, we might start to act differently toward such individuals, and perhaps in ways that encourage narcissistic behaviour or at least self-perceptions. Research suggests that simply reminding people of their membership in one generation versus another can affect their self-reported levels of entitlement, a facet of narcissism.

The ubiquity of generations can also be attributed to their value as a commodity; promoting generations and generational differences is big business. However, the idea of generations is really a modern form of snake oil – an easy way to explain the ills that plague organisations, institutions and society as a whole. Indeed, there are companies that have built their entire brand on the basis of shifty generations science, including market research firms and consultancies, and self-proclaimed generations ‘gurus’ who encourage differentiating people based on their assumed membership in one generation versus another. Social scientists have been pushing back against these ideas for some time. As of late, such efforts have come to a head, with the sociologist Philip Cohen organising an open letter co-signed by nearly 150 social scientists that implores the Pew Research Center to stop using generation labels.

The most important thing to remember is that generations as we know them are not really a thing. Most of what is assumed to be a generational effect is more likely due to age effects (the influence of individual development) or period effects (the influence of one’s current time and place), or probably some combination of age, contemporaneous time and other contextual and individual characteristics. What this means is that understanding the complexities of age differences is a far more difficult task than simply stratifying people based on their birth years and comparing them with one another. A more complete understanding requires us to individuate people in a more nuanced way. This is the approach that my colleagues and I have promoted in our advancement of a lifespan perspective to thinking about ageing and work. Adopting a lifespan perspective requires recognising that there are multiple co-occurring and related sources of influence (including biological, psychological and social influences) that shape one’s developmental course across one’s lifetime.

A passage from: Quit the millennial bashing – generationalism is bad science, by Cort W Rudolph, an associate professor of industrial and organisational psychology at Saint Louis University in Missouri, in Aeon Psyche.

[lurking96]

Chapter 319 or why Bakugou might not be healthy for Izuku

This here might be a bit on the anti Bakugou side. I tagged it as such so you can filter those out and put it under a read more if you dont want to read it.

So. In the last day I did read a few opinions on the chapter leaks. What some think will happen and so on. Some from Pros some from Antis. This again is an opinion. It is not absolute. I do not claim it to be the absolute truth. This is just my personal interpretation. What I think that will happen is that Class 1A lead by Bakugou will fight Midoriya to try to bring him back. I don’t think talking to him will happen with Bakugou there. As one of Bakugous coping mechanisms is fighting. However with that come problems. I can understand the reasoning behind fighting him. A little talk will most likely not make him come back. However it might ease things. Might make him a tiny bit calmer. Might not make things worse. Fighting however will make things worse. Izuku is already on edge. He is already filled with paranoia. He hasn’t slept or eaten well. He might do rash decisions. He is not in a healthy mental state. And here we have it. His friends, his supposed allies are fighting him. The people he wants to protect went out and attack him. Out in their costumes. Ready for battle. A kinda scary scene overall. You dont see their faces. You feel anger coming from them.

It might bring some memories back to Izuku if you compare it with another picture.

Just like the picture before Bakugou is kinda in the foreground.He is leading just like back then he was leading his so called “extras” This might bring back memories to Izuku. Again he is sleep deprived. His mind might not work the sharpest. For all he knows it´s like back in his other schools where Bakugou lead his group of “extras” to attack Izuku. He might fight back stronger than intended. He might just try to flee even more. Overall it is not very helpful to him. Because a part of the reason for Izukus mental health is Bakugou. Not in a kind of friendship way but more as a cause. Bakugou to put it simply had been Izukus main bully. They were never apart. From preschool to UA. They were in the same class. With team exercises they were together. Izuku never had a break from him. He was never allowed to have time without him. From early on Bakugou has called him useless, worthless, what does one think the name Deku means. Has been using his quirk on him without the teachers caring. Before people say that is long ago. It is not. Right now they are in their second year. How did their first year start. Bakugou trying to attack Midoriya. Trying to kill him. Insulting him where he goes. It is not long ago. And even if it was like 300 or so chapters ago. That still happened. That is still the characters backstory. Honestly you are fine to like a character. But one should recognize that a character has flaws. No character is perfect. Saying that you like a character and saying that they are an asshole that needs to change can coexist. I like Overhauls aesthetic and quirk. Am I okay with what he did. Nope. Would I want him set on fire. Yes. Simple as that. Now back to it. In chapter 319 we hear Bakugou say that Izukus self sacrificial nature is caused by All Might. This. I do not agree with. Again. Who has called him worthless, a pebble on the road, useless, a deku for years. It was not All Might. Izuku has incredible low self worth. If it means saving a cat from a tree he would break his legs. He doesnt care for himself. He sees himself as worthless and only as somewhat useful when he is saving people. It got drilled into him from a young age. This is not something simple that is left behind after a few days. It can take years. And so far he has nothing contrary to those ideas. There are three people that know of his former quirklessness. His mom. Who is kinda supposed to love him. All Might who never really went back on the quirkless hero thing and Bakugou who still insults him for it. Everyone else only knows him with his quirk. Only knows him with being useful. Just because he has a quirk now doesnt mean that quirkless Izuku has ever left his mind. Yes All Might is not perfect. He has flaws. Those flaws are shown and others call him out. Could he have done more. Yes. Could he have helped him mentally. To a degree. But again. All Might is flawed. He is not perfect. All Might is shown to lack social skills. Seeing Bakugou just as rival or Endeavor who has open hate for him as friends. He never had a normal relationship. And again he was not the cause for Izukus psyche. He didnt lay the groundwork. With Bakugou blaming it on All Might. The guy that is not there and can’t protect himself he is doing something one could call damage control. He is not telling the entire truth. For the truth would hinder his dream of becoming number one and reduce his social standing. Him telling others that he is even partly responsible would surely open more questions later he would want to avoid. He also calls Midoriya crazy which is a tactic used to discredit a victim. Same for him making things up and overexaggerating and so on. He did do damage control before. A bit ago he told All Might that he was bullying Izuku in the past. You would think It´s something positive. But here is the thing. He lacked details. He didnt tell him much. For all we know All Might assumed some rough housing and name calling. Nothing that bad. It is to soften the blow. So if Izuku tells him later All Might is already in the mindset that it wasn’t so bad. Bakugou seems not that he would lie and my successor must be overexaggerating a bit. Bakugou is not that dumb. He knows his way around words. He knows when to not openly attack and wait for a better chance. A fool would have kept attacking Izuku after Aizawa held him back. He was just waiting for the training with All Might. He knows what buttons to push to get information out of Izuku. He basically forced the OFA secret out of him. One could call this a good use of crocodile tears if they so want. If they dislike him that much. Again an opinion of many. As of Chapter 319. He might have good intentions. He might want something good for Izuku. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good intentions are not an excuse. Just because Bakugou thinks it is the best doesn’t mean it will be automatically the best. Just because the dog wants the chocolate bar doesnt mean it will be healthy for anyone involved. Bakugou being there might be quite detrimental to Izukus health. He might just open up wounds again. Izuku fighting class 1A would probably not increase his trust. And what are they going to do if they win. Tie him up, drug him, force him back. He will just try to escape. His trust in them will be broken. He might allow some sleep but it will never be the same. He already had trust issues before this will just expand them further. Isolate him further. This is what AFO wants. To have the heroes fighting with eachother. To have the OFA holder isolated and even branded as Villain for fighting as hero class. 1A winning is also a big IF. Shigaraki fought Gigantomachia and the MLA sleep deprived and incredible tired and won. Shigaraki and Izuku are foils. Two sides of the same coin. Izuku had a year to analyse their quirks. He has a bunch of quirks for himself and OFA mastered far more than anytime before he trained with them. He has become a natural disaster in human form. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he defeats them and leaves. To me the good option would be trying to talk to him. Not let Bakugou do the talking. He lacks the fine control. Get him in the direction of rest. Sadly none of them are trained professionals to deal with mental health. They are children that just fought in a war and also got traumatised. So I dont have great hope on them taking the talking route. Overall I think this will be a breaking point. They will fight. Izuku will most likely win and his trust will be broken even more. He will be even more isolated. His personality might take a darker turn seeing as there is no one he can trust. It might just get even darker than before.

[sarahtoninxox]

Borderline Personality Disorder: My Own Worst Enemy

It's as if you're emotionally naked. Having the emotional maturity of a child who, as a result of childhood adversities, never learnt how to manage emotions effectively. As a result, everything runs through a filter designed to shield your delicate psyche from perceived attacks. This causes extreme, long-lasting feelings of rage, misery, discomfort, alienation, abandonment, self-loathing, and an endless mess of tangled, extreme emotions. Every single day. This can lead to lash outs, rumination, verbal and physical aggression, and long-term resentment of perceived or (even worse) genuine insults or hostility. We can misinterpret situations, making us seem hypersensitive or “too” emotional, caring “too” much. External influences and people can easily dictate our feelings, and we can react recklessly and impulsively.

We are sometimes seen as not compassionate and selfish because we are so in tune with our emotions and so strongly influenced by them. This may be accurate, but it's primarily because our self - image (which is already fragile) appears to be under constant assault from an onslaught of stimulation, confusing and contradictory feelings and emotions, and complex and challenging mood fluctuations. In reality, we can empathise and care profoundly for others as a byproduct of this, to the degree at which we can nearly "feel" somebody else's suffering, happiness, or distress. It thus provides us a natural affinity for "reading" others, which may be equally beneficial and detrimental. When one can put it to good use and benefit oneself as well as others, that's when it's useful. The fucking terrible part is whenever you can "sense" when someone is being overtly hostile, disingenuous, or insincere, or "read" into one's nonverbal cues or demeanor, and it verifies and supports our preconceptions.

Almost anything, including people, locations, decisions, passions, and occupations, can be idolized and discounted. Most of us are simply just attempting to find our place in the universe, and we'll say and do anything to gain acceptance. It’s not always conscious; it simply becomes instinctive to us over time. We can cherish something one moment and despise it the second, thanks to our emotional dysregulation. Everything really hinges on how much mental anguish or enjoyment each circumstance causes us, and how far we’ve progressed in our emotional healing.

It's difficult for us to regulate all of this and identify "the grey region" that’s between the black and white in certain situations. Even on ourselves, we can split black and white. We are, at the end of the day, our harshest critics. Splitting can also cause persistent pain, impulsiveness, and fuel our insecure, continually shifting self image.

Factor in intense fears of abandonment, betrayal, and mental anguish. Experiencing this broad range of fluctuating, extreme emotional states on a daily basis will cause many of us to feel worthless and mentally blank.

There is often a sense of incompleteness—a void of sorts, irrespective of what the fuck is happening in life or who's around. Being alone and forced to face ourselves can be, and is, excruciatingly uncomfortable, even unbearable. Particularly because we don't understand how to manage our emotions sans the guidance of extrinsic validation and support. All of the above inevitably leads to a disorganized, unstable psyche that struggles to maintain consistency on multiple levels and tries to push others away due in part to vulnerability, worthlessness or a sense of impending abandonment and despair. Splitting, lack of identity, anxieties, sadness and self-loathing all combine to form a person who’s very confused, mentally lost, and often suicidal. When you add in actual (not simply perceived) everyday challenges and hardships, it can become that much more difficult to stay above water.