#and as i said feel free to send another ask if there were any specifics you wanted!!

[jjkamochoso]

Hii!! I'm always hanging out in your askbox, sorry about that! I've got another Feitan request! A Feitan x Female Reader who, similar to my other requests, is normally an outgoing person with a girly personality, but behind closed doors she really appreciates a peaceful atmosphere. Maybe the two of them decided to stay together off troupe duty at a rented place or hotel, and she's less bubbly than Feitan is used to her being with the troupe around. Not that she's any less smiley, just a lot more quiet than she usually is. Bonus points if it's raining outside and they can enjoy the sounds of it together in a dimly lit room! Sorry if that was really specific, feel free to change it up if you like!! Thank you!

I LOVE that you’re always requesting omg don’t apologize!! I love writing for you guys and talking with you all about anything and everything so feel free to keep sending in whatever, whenever!!😁🫶❤️ this idea is SO good and I’m grateful you entrusted me with another wonderful request!❤️ thanks so much and I really hope you love this!!

Lightning Strike of Love

Fluff

Feitan Portor x f!reader

Warnings: slight mentions of violence

“So we’ll meet back up in a few days, right?”

“That’s right. Don’t have too much fun on your off time without me,” Phinks replied to you, shooting you a playful wink.

“We have free time?” asked Shizuku, confusion etched on her features.

Machi sighed. “Yes, Shizuku. You’ve know about this for weeks, remember?”

The girl’s big eyes blinked behind her large glasses. “No.”

Machi pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers in exasperation. You giggled as you listened to your fellow Phantom Troupe members talk about what they were doing in the upcoming down time allotted. You were sad that you weren’t going to be spending more time with them because they truly were your best friends and closest thing you had to a family. You were, however, looking forward to the peace and quiet of not being on a mission for once.

“Where you going?”

Feitan, stealthy as ever, made you jump involuntarily with the sound of his voice right near your ear. He snickered at your reaction, cocking his head as he awaited your answer.

“I rented a hotel room in the quiet part of the city. I figured it’s a good place to relax for a bit,” you said. “How about you? What’s your plan?”

“Nothing. I stay here.”

“At the base? By yourself? On our vacation?!” you asked incredulously.

“Tch. What else I supposed to do? I wait for you all to come back.”

“But won’t you be lonely?”

He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Why don’t you stay with me?” you suggested, stunning him completely. You leaned in towards him, smiling sweetly and lowering your voice. “I enjoy your company, Feitan. I’d really miss you if you weren’t there.”

Feitan’s heart wasn’t used to beating as quickly as it was and his cowl wasn’t doing any favors to cool his neck that was burning from your saccharine words. He wanted to accept your offer but if you kept gazing at him with that honeyed expression, he’d never survive the trip.

“Tch. You sappy,” he remarked, shoving his fidgeting hands in his pockets.

You checked the time on your phone. “So, wanna join me? The taxi will be here in about 10 minutes.”

“Fine, I go with you. But I not paying for anything,” he teased.

“Neither am I. A dead guy’s credit card will get you anything you want,” you told him, grinning triumphantly. “Now, go pack! We don’t want to keep the driver waiting!”

A suitcase, a suspiciously small duffel bag, and a taxi ride later and you and Feitan had arrived to the hotel.

“Why so fancy?” Feitan wondered, staring up at the old building with curiosity. Columns and arches were in abundance and the weighty, gold handled doors to the lobby were at least double his height. As you checked in, he took note of the indoor fountain and scoffed.

She out of her mind. This place ridiculous.

“C’mon, Fei! Our room is ready!” you called, beckoning him over. He obliged, still shaking his head at your go big or go home tendencies. You were always so bubbly and were attracted to sickeningly pretty things (hence the choice of hotel). He never understood how you two got along so well; you were polar opposites.

“I’m so excited to see our room!” you squeaked, clasping your hands together in anticipation as the elevator brought you up to your floor. Feitan couldn’t lie, he was looking forward to having you all to himself for the next few days, no longer losing your attention to the other Troupe members. He smiled from under his cowl.

Our room. With my girl.

You pulled out the key and opened the door. When you saw the room, you almost started crying. It was absolutely beautiful! The fluffy beds were calling your name and right after you put your suitcase in the corner, you kicked off your shoes and laid down, closing your eyes and quietly enjoying the silence that had filled the room. After a while you heard Feitan ruffle through his bag before lying down on the other bed. You peeked an eye open and saw he was reading a book.

“Oh, that was a good idea. I should’ve brought a book, too,” you said thoughtfully.

“I have extra in bag. You can get one.”

“Thank you! That’s very kind of you.”

His bag, filled only with books, made you screw your nose up in slight disgust.

“Where are your extra clothes?” you asked, afraid to hear his answer.

“I no bring. These fine for a few days.”

You grabbed the first book you saw, deciding to deal with that situation later. “Trevor Brown? I don’t know any of his works.”

Feitan chuckled. “Just look at it. You might like.”

After a few pages, you had seen enough.

“It’s a little too dark for me,” you explained, putting it back, which caused Feitan to laugh harder. “I know there’s a bookstore around here somewhere. That might be fun to do tomorrow.” You paused. “And I’ll take you shopping.”

After you resumed your position on the bed, Feitan enthralled in his book, you felt a chill blow through you. Since the hotel was older, the windows let in cold air so you were grateful that there was a fireplace in your room. With a click of a button, a warm fire began to roar and you smiled to yourself at how perfectly domestic this whole situation was. Having Feitan all to yourself in a place like this was a dream come true to you. You snuck a glance at the man as he read, his hair slightly hanging over his face, his lips, no longer covered by the cowl, pursed in concentration; he looked handsome beyond belief. Not wanting to disrupt him with your staring, you changed gears and grabbed the comforter from your bed, wrapping it around your shoulders. You then pulled a chair in front of the window and stared at the beauty outside, getting lost in your thoughts.

Feitan, on the other hand, was looking forward to you starting your cheerful chatting like usual. He was patiently waiting to hear your voice chirp up, talking animatedly about things that happened that day or what was on your mind. If anyone else spoke as much as you did, he would’ve sewn their mouths shut, but he tolerated—no, genuinely liked—your incessant jovial jabber.

“Why you no talk?” he asked, pulling you from your daydreams.

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You never stay quiet, you always talk.”

“Are you complimenting me or insulting me?” you joked, but Feitan was looking at you with such a serious face that you immediately stopped teasing.

“Around the others, all day long, talk, talk, talk,” he said, opening and closing his hand in a gesture to mimic you speaking, “but with me, you silent. Why?”

“That’s easy,” you replied, wearing a soft smile, “you make me feel relaxed. At ease. I love to speak with everyone, yes, and I especially love talking with you, but when it’s just me, or just us, like this… I like the calming environment.”

“Oh.”

Feitan was clearly embarrassed by his assumption, although he did think it was good to learn that you two weren’t total opposites after all, since he cherished his quiet time as well. You were completely unbothered by his question but you still tried to reassure him in your own way without making him feel silly. You picked up the big black book that was resting on the nightstand and took up the spot next to Feitan on his bed, your arm brushing up against his.

You opened the book to a menu. “How about we order some room service?”

After ordering and eating practically everything from the menu, you and Feitan were happy as could be. You two shared nice conversations over dinner, Feitan ecstatic at hearing your bad jokes and sparkling laughter, and you were feeling grateful that you were going to be able to share moments like this with him for the next couple of days. When the last of the empty plates were left outside your hotel room door to be picked up, you locked the door and got your pajamas on since nighttime had almost arrived. You exited the bathroom in your cozy attire and sat on your bed once more, feeling Feitan’s gray eyes watch you the entire time.

“Yes?” you asked, wrapping yourself in the comforter again.

“Nothing,” he blurted out, tearing his gaze from you. You giggled, browsing through a magazine provided by the hotel. You were about to turn on the lamp to continue reading when all of a sudden, you heard tapping on the window. You peeked out and saw rain had begun to fall. The last remnants of the sun’s rays were snuffed out by dark clouds hovering in the sky above you and your stomach fluttered at the change of weather. Hearing the droplets hit the building was sending you into a state of pure bliss and there was only one thing that could make it even better.

“Feitan?”

There was no answer but you knew he was listening.

“Come lay next to me.”

Again, no answer.

“Please? I don’t bite.”

“I do.”

Your eyes found his in the dark but he showed no sign of yielding to your request. “Forget I said anything. I’m sorry for pushing it.”

You weren’t going to force him to do something he didn’t want to do. You knew he had an aversion to any sort of touch that wasn’t tortuous, but you thought for sure he would at least sit on the same bed as you. You sighed wistfully as you leaned against the headboard, wondering if Feitan knew of your romantic feelings for him and this was his way of rejecting them. To your total surprise, you felt your bed dip as another body climbed on the mattress.

“You no apologize, don’t be stupid.”

This time it was Feitan who brushed his arm against yours as he climbed into the warmth of your comforter, leaving goosebumps where he touched. You two sat together, no sounds to be heard except for the falling rain and far off thunder. The hotel room was dimly lit by the fireplace and you were admiring the flicker of flames that highlighted Feitan’s profile. The tranquility you were experiencing was unmatched by anything else on this earth and you wished life could be like this all the time. You didn’t know what possessed you, or what wrath you were about to face, but your body moved on its own in its reach for Feitan’s hand.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” you whispered, your rationality catching up to your actions. Right as you were about to grasp his hand, a loud clap of thunder had you pulling back in shock.

“I no say stop,” said Feitan, closing the space between you by placing his hand on top of yours. You turned to look at him fully and he met your gaze for only a second before studying the fireplace instead. In that second, though, you saw more than just flames blazing in his irises—

You saw love.

Taglist: @killuagirly

[afreakingdork]

Yeah, I'm not taking this sitting down. Man, I really am not trying to have beef out here, but I refuse to have my good fucking name tarnished. To make a public post about me? Yeah, I'm going to share my side. The facts are as such:

I approached wolf on 12/20/23 about a NSFW commission inspired by one of their works. It would feature my sona and an aged up Donnie. As they mentioned, our initial conversation was good. We went back and forth during the sketch phase and I requested quite a lot of edits. I asked if I could pay them for these corrections.

it was right after this that wolf asked about Donnie's battle shell since it wasn't illustrated.

After this message, I did not hear back from wolf after 2/9/24 until I sent them a follow-up message 3/27/24

I did not hear back from wolf until today 5/6/24.

Now I cannot share the images of the art I received because it is NSFW, but I can tell you that the grey from my sona's body appeared to be missing. The ears of my sona were grey, but the body only looked yellow. Donnie was missing his purple arm marks, and his knee pads were still the same only now they were colored in black along with his mask. From here I will just send the conversation in its entirety.

For reference, this was the reference sheet they had.

I was then sent two pieces where the grey on my sona was very obvious and Donnie's markings were now present with the following text.

Now again, I wish I could show you the pieces, but I can't. I was offered a 50% refund for my troubles, but I was not interested in taking it because wolf had already done all the work.

I will say that I was extremely frustrated with the whole affair so the next part I will admit was a bit salty because while corrections had been made, I wasn't able to give any input so there were still mistakes in my sona's colors (specifically the underside of the tail was yellow instead of white and my grey arm had one side yellow) and Donnie's mask was still black. The following is our last correspondence on my blog.

This would have been the end of it for me. Except, I did not get the email. I waited in hopes it would come in, but none did. Since I was blocked I was forced to reach out from one of my side blogs @thisgoesouttoyoubaby which feel free to check. it's my reblog sideblog that I use to send my bestie memes. It dates back YEARS and is not used for spam.

As you can see I was blocked here.

Now I have been refreshing my email feed waiting. I know emails can take time, but I have no way to confirm if I'm getting my work because I was immediately blocked on thisgoesouttoyou with no response.

So I used another sideblog, this time @plowingon which you can again, freely search, its not a spam blog, but a blog I once made to record the live of my old german shepherd I had years ago when he was getting older.

And wouldn't you know it, I got my first email from wolf at

Coincidentally, only after I sent my last message to them.

Now I'm not interested in hurting wolf's reputation. I think you should still commission them if you'd like. I still am a fan of their art. I have no ill will, but fuck if I will stand by as someone tells me that I won't pay an artist. I never even said i wouldn't pay. I was just frustrated because they wouldn't follow their own three correction rule. They allowed me no recourse, and then they were petty before I could even confirm that I received the email.

Could I have been nicer?

Of course.

Could I have been more clear?

Absolutely.

But there is no world in which I tried to gaslight anyone. I pride myself on my honesty. I was not shy when paying them. I sent payment before we even began. I offered to pay them more and acknowledged I was a needy customer halfway through. So I apologize for this long post, but I wanted to make sure all of this was visible because how dare you call me a scammer, wolf.

You disappoint me.

[storm-angel989]

Hi,

I know you’ve been writing these themes a lot so if you are feeling sick of them or burnout feel free to just ignore this :) But if your interested I’d love a Velvette x Reader (platonic or romantic, whatever you’re feeling) where the reader was a model when they were alive and struggled with disordered eating because of the harsh industry standards. Now in hell they feel like they are better but after awhile of working with Vel it starts to come back. Thank you :)

P.s. I absolute adore your writing. I love your characterization of the Vees.

Hi Friend,

This is a pretty intense topic and mixing models with ED's makes sense. I'm not burnt out- not yet at least!

<3 Mandy

The clause itself was considered standard procedure, a non negotiable part of the contract Velvette offered. The requirement of full disclosure of any and all mental health issues her models faced before coming to her. Some might argue that requirement invaded privacy. Personal disclosure that had nothing to do with the job at hand. A stance Velvette both vehemently disagreed with and couldn’t give less of a fuck about. Sign the contract or don’t, she didn’t care either way. She had been in the industry long enough to know that the job requirements could send a being spiraling if they didn’t have someone keeping a careful eye on them. 

And truly, that was what Velvette cared about. Model’s passing out, a shirt slipping and revealing fresh cuts, constant shivering- none of it was a good look for the company, or her image. And so she kept careful note and watched constantly for signs that their work was taking a toll on them. Bi-monthy runway walks, clouted as extra practice for each model, put in place to keep their skills sharp, served a dual purpose. File in hand, she could observe and study the particulars of each girl. 

Velvette louged in her directors chair, leafing through her binder with each passing demon. Some pages boosted her handwritten scrawls, notes and dates of concerning, specific observations. As she sat watching as her models walked down the runway, her eyes narrowed as they fell to Reader. 

Reader. Her file boasted two notes. One from her arrival in hell. Another from the last modeling session. As her eyes studied readers appearance, she observed what most would overlook. Slight changes in her bodies proportions that indicated something wasn’t quite right. Quietly, she flagged the page. 

In her office later that night, she dialed Valentino’s number. In her vast experience, it took two to convince a demon they needed help. And as always, it helped that Valentino brought with him his own set of expertise- eyes that could and would pick a body apart if warranted. More importantly, he stood as her friend. Someone who understood the difficulties of this career, who was one of the two who stood by her side when she herself struggled. To her relief, he came within minutes and took his place behind her. Wordlessly, she handed him the file. 

“Call her in,” he said after a moment. “I’ll set up the scale.” 

The press of a buzzer. A call for her to Velvette’s office. A quiet escort in. Velvette looked at the terrified girl and softened her expression the best she could. 

“Reader. Let me be clear, you’re not in trouble,” she began as gently as we could. “But we have noticed something slightly concerning, and we need to get a weight on you. Undress and step on the scale for us.” 

It wasn’t a request. Velvette knew that, and she knew Reader did too. She watched as Reader took off her jeans and sweatshirt. Velvette did her best to hide the sense of relief that washed over her- she wasn’t layering yet. Obediently, Reader stepped on. Another good sign. She wasn’t defensive, she wasn’t fighting. Not yet, at least. Hope fluttered in Velvette’s chest. Maybe she had caught this one early enough. 

“What is my weight?” Reader asked in confusion as she stared down at the blank scale. 

“We have that information, bebita. Not something you need to concern yourself with,” Valentino replied as he showed Velvette the number on the scale, sent directly to his phone. 

Velvette’s heart sank. Ten pounds under hiring. And reader was already thin to begin with. She looked at Valentino and he shook his head. A silent understanding between the two. 

“You can step off,” Velvette told her. “We have the information we need.”

A look of dismay crossed Reader’s face. “Am I in trouble?”

“Trouble? No. But we are noticing a concerning trend with your weight. So we’re going to put you on a plan,” Velvette replied as gently as she could. “Twice a week you’re going to meet with a therapist. She’s going to go over a meal plan with you. What you say to her in these sessions will stay private, but we’ll reassess in two weeks. If your weight continues to drop, we’ll…” Velvette’s voice caught in her throat. 

Valentino put his hand on her shoulder. “We’ll cross that bridge if it comes to it. For now, you’ll be taken down the hall to meet your therapist and be given a through physical.” 

“I’m sorry,” Reader began.

“There is no reason to be sorry. This is a hard industry, we simply want you healthy,” Velvette replied instantly. 

As Velvette watched her be escorted out the door, a sense of relief washed over her. There was no protest, no fights. A simple acceptance of fact. Another good sign. Velvette laid her arms on her desk and put her head down. 

“Amicito, are you alright?” Valentino asked in a voice reserved only for those he loved. “I know this is difficult, but you did the right thing.”

“I hate this, Val,” she replied in a muffled tone. “I hate what we do to these demons. I hate that perfection is an unachievable standard and I hate…I hate seeing them fall, again and again, to a demon far more powerful than me.”

“But the standards we devised help stop them from falling. They keep both our workers safe and our company in good standing,” Valentino replied gently. “Come on Vel, let’s get out of here. You need a break, muñeca. Let’s call Vox and…”

“And have a night in,” she interrupted as she lifted her head. Slowly, she stood up. “I’m not in the mood to deal with people.” 

“Then you won’t,” Valentino replied as he slid his arm around her. 

Just before she went to open the door, Velvette paused. She looked at Valentino and he watched as the harsh mask she wore on the daily melted away. 

“Val? Thanks for not…for not letting me slide into the arms of my own demon,” she said softly. “I couldn’t, if I didn’t have you and Vox I’d…”

Valentino didn’t let her finish. Instead, her wrapped his arms around her and gave her a tight hug before releasing her.“Amicito, that’s what friends are for.”

[acescavern]

GAME OVER - LEE JENO X READER

GAME OVER

Navi - m.list

Pairing: Lee Jeno x Fem! Reader

Theme: Hint at college au! This is the same paring from my fic ‘Quiet’, fluff, smut, hint of angst? Crack maybe?

Synopsis: When your boyfriend invites you over to his place only to ignore you to play games with his friends all evening, you decide to go out and celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday instead. Jeno never minds when you go out to clubs and bars… only when a specific Loverboy doesn’t tend to leave your side all evening. 

Warnings: Lots of swearing, Probably over use of many variations of ‘fuck’, Big dick! Jeno, Pierced! Jeno, Possessive!Jeno, A hint of angst?, Jealousy, Jaehyun clearly likes you allot regardless of your boyfriend, He’s kind of a subtle dick?, the reader and Jeno are sort of in an argument, Unprotected sex, Exhibitionism ( They fuck in the restrooms and Jaehyun is outside), fluff at the end, Jeno is a smug little shit, marking,  idk what else. 

Word count: 2,698

Note: Hey my lovelies, another Jeno fic! I’m going to attempt to have all the NCT fics I write to be in the same universe. So, when Set Me Free is released it will fall in with this fic too even though it’s Intern!Mark. I know I said that last Jeno smut would be the one and only smut i do but honestly when inspiration strikes - you just gotta. I made the dividers and the header on Canva. Feel free to send asks about my fic characters. The spice is very brief in this one, i apologise - I didn’t want the smut to be too detailed. It's still my longest of the three i've published so far. I feel like my 'writing rust' is curing slowly? I apologise for any grammatical errors

Reblogs and feedback are appreciated! 

“Are you sure the exit is covered, Mark?” Jeno heard through the device in his ear. 

“For the last time, Yes,” Mark grumbled in exasperation, as he scanned the surroundings. 

Jeno could only chuckle, observing from his characters spot on a nearby rooftop. His thumb slowly moved the left analog stick to change the camera angle and look around once more. “Chenle, on your left - there’s Hyuc-” He abruptly called out, voice raising with the excitement.

“What? Fucking whe- Shit!” Jeno had to pull one of his earphones out at the enraged screech that followed, Chenle shouting for Renjun to come and revive him. 

One game soon turned into two, then three, and now four. And it was as if Jeno had forgotten all about you for the moment. You, who was sprawled out on your back, boredly counting each line of profanity you heard your boyfriend boom down his mic. This wasn’t what you had in mind when Jeno asked you to come over after class. You’d hoped that he would opt out of squad night and spend some alone time with you - seeing as you hadn’t really had much time to yourselves since way before the camping trip last month, and whilst you loved his friends like family there was only so much of their company you could take.

You lazily picked your phone up from the floor, responding to a few messages until you hovered over the most recent one. “Coming out tonight? It’s Xiaojun’s birthday.” Your thumbs hesitated in typing out a reply, chin tilting to glance over at your boyfriend, who showed zero signs of stopping his game. As you stood, your knees and ankles groaned in protest from being sprawled out on the fuzzy rug for hours. 

“Jen..” You called out, shoulders slumping when the other didn’t respond. “Jen!” You repeated louder, unable to keep the hint of annoyance from your voice. Jeno jumped, he would never admit it but he almost forgot you were there. He removed an earphone, muting his mic to turn toward you. 

“Yes, Baby?” He hummed, raising a pierced brow. He hadn’t caught on to the clear boredom in your expression, nor the dejected tone to your voice as you spoke again. 

“I’m gonna head out, Ten invited me out for Xiaojun’s birthday.” You explained, Jeno’s eyes creasing at the corners as he smiled at the mention of the two. 

“Make sure Ten don’t go home with Johnny again.” Was all he said, already beginning to turn back to his computer. 

You couldn’t believe that was all he said, he didn’t even offer to go with you nor drop you off. You stood there for a moment, left eye almost twitching in anger at the whole situation. You weren’t a clingy girlfriend, you never demanded to be with Jeno all the time. It was quite the opposite actually, but there were times when he acted like this and it got to you. All you wanted was some one on one time.. 

Deciding to forego the impending argument for tonight, you shuffled closer to him to press a kiss to his forehead so you didn’t disturb his game. “You’re coming back here, right?” he mumbled, not even waiting your answer properly before a harsh “You fuck head, Hyuck!” escaped him. 

With a mumbled ‘sure’, you gathered your bag and left him to it.

Jeno hadn’t even realised how he was acting. He still continued gaming with the guys for at least two or three more hours. He stretched his arms above his head on a groan, clicking his spine as he twisted in his chair. “Mark, pick another game. This one’s getting too easy to beat you at.” He snickered smugly. 

“You seen Hendery’s story, Jen?” The voice sounded almost devious. As if Jaemin was in on a secret nobody else was. 

Instead of answering, his hand swiped up his phone from beside his keyboard and swiftly unlocked it with his thumb. Jeno found Hendery’s profile and tapped on the story. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. It was you, Xiaojun and Jaehyun. The later, Jeno wasn’t particularly a big fan of… okay that was a massive understatement. Quite frankly, Jeno hated the way the man looked at you. He knew Jaehyun had asked you out a few times, before you and Jeno had gone public, and whilst he knew you turned him down everytime… he also was very much aware of how persistent the older man could be. Not that Jeno didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life but Jaehyun however? No.

Jeno’s gaze drifted over your frame in the picture, his breath drawing in sharply. “Fuck me…” he cursed. The dress you were wearing had him frozen in place. 

A short little black number, ending way too high up your thighs for his liking. Jeno could clearly see from your side pose that it was backless, the halter strings of the dress tied in a perfect bow at the back of your neck. The front? Jeno couldnt even think about the front right now, not when he could clearly see Jaehyun’s eyes were definitely not directed toward the camera lens. 

“Bro… you must have done something terrible in your past life.” His friend Donghyuck laughed into his ear. “The dude’s looking at her as if he won a fucking jackpot!” 

“Say’s the bitchless one.” Jisung quipped, adding on a rushed defense. “Not that ___’s a bitch, Jeno.” 

Jeno could only groan in despair. “What am I meant to do? I don’t even know what club she’s a-” 

“Envy. It’s written on the cup, Dumbass.” Jeno glared at his friends icon on the call, then glancing back to the image and sure enough, the black cup in your hand had the club logo printed on the side. “Jeno, you’re designated driver.. And who else.. Mark?”

Mark let out an unsure sound of agreement. “Uh.. yeah, sure. I’m not staying though, got work early in the morning and this internship is kicking my ass. I’ll drop you at the door and pick you up but that’s it.” 

Jeno was silently seething, continuing to tap through Hendery’s story as his friends made arrangements. In each one of them, the same guy was always with you. Even when you weren’t in the photograph, Jeno caught sight of you both in the background and with new determination, he shucked off his hoodie to get ready. 

You were having a good time. Much better than being ignored by your boyfriend, that’s for sure. Part of you still wished you'd put your foot down and demanded Jeno pay attention to you. He was the one who asked you to go over after all. But, you much preferred dancing with your friends over causing arguments with Jeno.

You were dancing with Ten and Jaehyun when you first spotted the familiar head of black and pink streaked hair. The grinning man approaching the three of you the moment he caught sight. 

“Chenle? What are you doing here?” You shouted over the music, eyebrows drawn in confusion. 

Honestly, you could probably count on one hand the amount of times you’d seen Chenle make an appearance at a night club. The younger shrugged with faux innocence, his grin broadening as his gaze caught sight of someone over your shoulder. 

“Ask him.” He simply stated, with the nudge forward of his head being a signal for you to probably turn around. 

From the way the colour drained from Jaehyun’s face, however, you weren’t sure you wanted to. You could physically feel the anger radiating from the person behind you - You were 100% certain who it was. It was solidified when a hard chest pressed against your back, hot breath against your ear. 

“Yeah, ____. Ask me.” You’d never experience this Jeno yet. This Jeno was mad, His voice sharp and heavy, the emotion making it slightly husky. 

Chenle only grinned wider, shooting you a thumbs up as he coaxed your friends to the bar. You didn’t face your boyfriend yet. Unsure of what you might see, if his voice was anything to go by you’d probably fold in thirty seconds flat. Jeno has a special talent in making you fold. Instead, you crossed your arms over your chest, straightening your shoulders. How dare he come and crash your fun? After he ignored you for so many hours. 

“Finally remembered you have a girlfriend then?” Was your snarky reply. 

You were so glad you weren’t looking at him, from the way a tense silence followed your words. Honestly, you stupidly thought you’d made him speechless. A smirk tugging at the corners of your glossy lips. The triumph didn’t last for long, the victory slowly fading from your face at the almost sinister chuckle. 

“Could say the same about you.” Jeno’s clipped tone bit right back, his strong hands settling on your waist. “Someone should tell Jung fucking Yoon-Oh to get his own girlfriend and stop making googly eyes at mine.” Your boyfriend’s gravelly voice rumbled into your ear. 

That made you step forward, Jeno’s hands falling away from your waist before he could tighten his hold to stop you. Your mouth opened to speak but your words got stuck in your throat. There he stood, Pink hair swept back in probably the only style he knows how to do himself, black skinny jeans and a dress shirt with only the bottom few buttons done up to leave it open to the bottom of his sternum. He looked mouth watering. You could feel your resolve crumbling bit by bit. 

“He-He didn’t touch me.” You choked out. “He’s just a friend, Jen.” 

Your voice didn’t sound like you, it was breathy and low but somehow he heard you. Jeno’s facial features were set in a hard line, stormy with jealousy, the constant flashing lights around you reflecting off his eyebrow piercing. His jaw flexed. 

“To you, yes. But to him? Baby, when you showed up here looking like fucking aphrodite in that dress… he probably thought it was his birthday.” He said tautly. 

You didn’t have anything to say to that. You couldn’t dispel Jeno’s worries either. Whilst you had definitely noticed how the man in question hadn’t left you alone all night, you’d done nothing to try and put any distance toward you. Your anger at your boyfriend had clouded your judgement -  your mind telling you that Jaehyun was just acting as a comforting friend and listening ear. Though with the amount of times he’s still asked you out and the amount of ‘jokes’ he makes hinting at you being ‘too good’ for Jeno, you can’t say you blame your boyfriend for his blatant dislike. In his defense, Jeno had voiced his insecurities surrounding the man many times to you and you knew it was something he was very much bothered about. 

At the thought, your anger dissipated like a deflating balloon. If you’d just spoken to Jeno in the first place then you probably wouldn’t be in this situation. The apology died on your lips when both sides of your face was firmly cupped and Jeno leant in. His nose brushing yours as his almost possessive gaze met your startled one. 

“Mine. ____ you’re mine.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his statement firm. You didn’t disagree anyway. 

“Only yours.” Your instant reply had his shoulder relaxing only slightly. 

The tension was thick and neither of you had leant away. It was as if a rubber band had snapped when your lips met, hungry and claiming. Hands all over each other desperate to find purchase.

That was how you found yourself in your current state. Pressed against the locked door to the club restroom with your dress bunched around your waist. Your high heels dug into the backs of Jeno’s thighs as each hard drive forward thudded your back louder against the wood. Jeno couldn't help but admire your smudged lip gloss, the rest of which he was sure to be smeared along his neck, the base of his cock, and his own lips. Eyeliner and mascara streaked further down your cheeks with each pleasured sob. 

Jeno’s firm grip on your thighs hoisted you against the door, he made no effort at all to silence your cries and moans. He didn’t want to this time. You were his and right now he really hoped Jaehyun was waiting outside for the restrooms to be unoccupied. With a deep moan of his own, his teeth reattached to your neck. It was as if he thought the bruises he marred your skin with would have faded in the last thirty seconds, his teeth pulling at the skin over them. 

“Say it again, Baby. Please.” He uttered breathlessly, delivering a particularly firm thrust.

Your words were incoherent, you may aswell have been babbling total nonsense. This man had filled you to the brim, pounding the same spot over and over enough for you to see stars.  An elongated whine left you, fingernails gripping at Jeno’s back underneath his shirt. Your thighs shook in his hands. 

“Yours. Jen-no! Always… Always yours.” You cried out, almost letting out a scream when he tilted your hips for the right angle. 

“Oh god… oh g-god!” Your sobs were like music to his ears, your pleas and praises fuelling his speed. 

Jeno lifted his head, sweat beading his brow as he kissed away your tears. His chest was flushed red from exertion. You tried to hold on longer, you really did but your orgasm crashed down on you almost abruptly, dragging a filthy, loud, wanton moan of his name from your throat. 

“Shit…” Jeno swore as you clamped down around him almost in a death grip, prompting his own release. 

You felt like your whole body was twitching in the aftershocks. You almost flinched at the sensitivity of Jeno’s piercing dragging against your sensitive parts as he slowly pulled out. The both of you were panting heavily like you’d run a London marathon. You made no effort to move and clean up yet, opting to draw Jeno’s torso into your body in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry for playing on your insecurities.” You admitted sheepishly into his ear. “I was just so annoyed.” 

A soft hum in reply was heard, the sound still lightly vibrating his chest. “Why were you annoyed?” 

“You invited me over to just ignore me for hours. I just wanted some quality time with you.” Your confession had Jeno’s mind clicking everything into place. 

“Oh… I didn’t think of it like that. ____ I just always want you around. I hate it when you go back to your apartment.” He lifted his head from where it was nuzzled comfortably against your marked chest. 

Your tongue darted out to nervously wet your lips, your right shoulder lazily lifting in thought. “Okay…” You started off, slowly. “Then… What if I didn’t?” You offered tentatively.

Jeno didn’t say anything as he processed your words, his lips pulling into the first smile he had directed at you all evening. “Then… I’d clear out half of the closet space for you… maybe get you a key cut.” 

“I’d like that.” His smile was contagious as hell, the corners of your mouth pulling up into an expression to match his own. 

Jeno quickly cleaned you both up after that with a mutual agreement that you should both go home and shower. His large hand wrapped tightly in your own. You both looked a disheveled mess, your panda eyes and his wrinkled shirt and messy hair. However, you’d made yourselves presentable enough to make it to the car. His free hand twisted the lock on the door, pulling it open to the stunned faces of your friends. None of them said anything but judging from the smirks and snickers, you’d surely get drilled in the group chat later. 

One face stuck out to Jeno amongst them all. The one closest to the door. The number one cause for his possessive streak this evening and whilst you were off saying goodbye to your friends, Jeno leaned in slightly for only Jaehyun to hear him. 

“Game Over, Loverboy.”

[skeletinmoss]

The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 10: The nightflame’s home

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If you’d asked Roman what he imagined the fabled NightFlame’s home would look like a week ago, he’d imagine an imposing tower in a deep dark forest with massive trees of similar heights surrounding it, glowing half inviting and half ominous in the darkness.

If you’d asked him that same question only yesterday, and he’d been asking himself the question ever since they started on this journey to said location, he might have altered his answer to a little cabin in similar dark woods. Not as imposing at first glance but isolated and hidden. But once you noticed it, it would be so obviously magical that any person with any sense would stay away.

Roling fields were not where he thought he’d end up. And there was no tower, or castle, or cabin to be seen anywhere. Just fields with tall grass and wildflowers and hills that looked like children should be playing tag and racing clouds in them.

It was almost idyllic. It filled Roman with a nostalgia for his childhood.

Especially with the setting sun. Virgil was fidgeting on Roman’s shoulder. Waiting for the exact moment he’d be human again so he could let them in. The sun got lower and lower and then Virgil launched himself forward to turn back to his human self in front of the horses.

“Home sweet home,” Virgil sighed in relief as he walked ahead of them. Roman and the others quickly got off and followed right behind Virgil, looking for any sign of a house somewhere.

Virgil walked forward with certain steps though. Following a path that was obvious only to him.

It wasn’t until he turned towards a specific hill and they joined him that they saw a door and a window in the hillside, a garden built into it. The garden was in dire need of weeding but it was still obvious that Virgil put a lot of effort and love into it when planting and maintaining it.

“Oh, that’s so cute!” Patton gushed. It did look rather endearing.

“We can let the horses roam free here. No one can get in this field without my permission,” Virgil offered moving his hand unbridling the horse while taking in his home, feeling elated to be here.

“We best hurry. There is no telling when the king will request Terance to check in on us. Or when he will decide to cut out the middle man completely,” Logan pointed out, clearly a bit excited to see the inside of this private high mage residence as well. From the sound of it Virgil fully expected it to be in a better state than the arch mage’s home and that had been mind blowing enough.

“Especially since he knows where we are headed,” Logan said, side eying Roman a bit.

“It was a direct request from the king! I agree that we should keep our cards close to our chest but I’m not quite ready to commit treason!” Roman argued.

Last night, after Virgil restocked and before they started their meditation the sending stone had alerted Roman that someone was trying to contact him.

“Lord Roman. I’m terribly sorry if I disturb you,” Terence had stammered. “But the king. He wants to know exactly where you are going right now,” he said.

Roman had panicked a little, looked to his companions for advice.

Logan and Patton had been startled. Virgil had just smirked at him and nodded his permission.

He trusted him to make the right call.

“Well. We are on our way to what we think might be a second residency of the arch mage. But we are making a detour to another location first. His notes mentioned the Night Flame High Mage a lot. So we hope that maybe there is some clue in his home. We uncovered its location and are on our way there now. We’ll likely arrive tomorrow evening,” he said, as honest as he could be.

There was a long pause. “I’ll inform the king,” Terance said. Strangely serious.

“What were you thinking!?” Logan chided.

“Likely that he has no clue where you guys will be going after we find my friends and he can’t make up a location on the spot without even the most guilible apprentice catching on,” Virgil stated in Roman’s defense. “The best way to keep a lie going is to speak the truth as much as possible. So he told the apprentice what he could without openly admitting that I am with you guys,” he added. Logan didn’t look very happy, but he couldn’t argue with Virgil’s logic.

“… I don’t like that the council is missing. Or that it took the king’s order for them to give us permission to look into the arch mage’s disappearance,” he admitted.

Virgil nodded. “That is all pretty suspicious,” he agreed. “From the sound of it the apprentice is reporting directly to the king though. And him you can trust. I am willing to stake my life on that,” Virgil stated sincerely.

“Lord Roman?” Terence called once again.

“Yes, Terence,” Roman replied. “Um, I told the king… He said that he trusts your judgement but to be careful. The NightFlame was not exactly fond of uninvited guests. He likely would have put up defenses against intruders and there is no guarantee that these simply weakened over time,” The apprentice explained.

Roman nodded his understanding, feeling Virgil’s smugness and considering it a confirmation.

“Of course. We will abandon the lead if it seems to dangerous,” he promised. “Have a good night Terance,” he bid. “Yeah. Good night sir,” Terance replied.

Logan still wasn’t happy with the choice to share this information but there was nothing that could be done about it now. The only path was forward. Into the home of the High Mage.

Virgil made a gesture and Roman could feel something shift in the air.

Virgil walked forward and Roman and his friends followed.

With a hand on the door Virgil turned to them. “Okay, if you see something move, do not freak out or try to attack. Nothing in there is going to cause harm unless you act aggressive first, understood?” he warned. Whispering for some reason.

The group nodded. Virgil looked at them for a long moment and then relaxed before turning to the door. Nervous excitement building.

Putting Roman at ease. Virgil cautiously opened the door. “Star?” he said carefully.

And the next moment he was on the ground buried under a massive black wolve, laughing in delight.

“Down, boy. Down. I’m back, I know,” he chuckled while the wolf greeted its master by sniffing and licking every of his face.

Meanwhile Roman realized that the wolf wasn’t just black. There were stars in his fur. Stardust, Virgil’s pet dog, was a Stellar wolf. Very rarely seen, and yet he had domesticated one. Roman would love to hear that story sometime.

“Oh!!!! The doggie is okay!” Patton exclaimed. Allerting said ‘doggie’ that his master had brought friends. And with a firm ‘woof’ and a yelp, Patton was tackled next to be inspected.

Logan was more prepared for Stardust jumping up against him and held his ground. “Yes. I am also here. Nice to meet you,” he offered, trying not to appear too excited by the fact that he was being befriended by an elusive magical creature.

Then it was Roman’s turn and stardust bounced between him and Virgil as though unable to decide who to pay more attention to.

“Yes Star, that’s a friend,” Virgil nodded before looking to Roman. “He can tell we are bonded,” he offered before looking back at Star and whistling making the big, loving, dog sit at attention and whine pleadingly. Breaking Roman’s heart.

“I know Star. I’m sorry for being gone so long. But if you show them how good you can be, I’m sure my friends won’t mind you coming along when we leave,” he offered looking at the group questioningly. Roman and Patton wouldn’t, and Roman didn’t think Logan was that practical that he’d make the poor dog be left behind once again so soon after being reunited.

“An extra protector could be beneficial,” Logan allowed.

“See? Now let’s go to the pantry alright? I need some things,” he offered as he held his dog’s face between his hands and scratched him behind the ears.

He got up and walked back to the door, closely followed by his dog, who kept sniffing his hand.

“Poor thing doesn’t trust he won’t disappear,” Patton whispered heartbroken for the wolf.

If whoever did this somehow hadn’t been on Patton’s naughty list yet, this would put him right at the top.

It didn’t exactly endear them to Roman either. And he was already hoping for an opportunity to give them a piece of his mind.

He stepped inside behind Virgil and completely forgot what he was thinking about.

Virgil’s home was… Breath taking.

Natural moon light streamed in from several windows that had not been visible from the outside and filled the wooden and stone interior aided by softly glowing crystals all along the walls. Which were lined with cupboards and bookshelves that all seemed to be part of trees that made Roman wish they’d arrived in spring so he’d be able to see if the foliage changed with the seasons.

There were shelves built into the steps that went to a higher level that should’ve at the very least be visible from the outside. They could look into the living room that had massive windows that looked out on a clearing in a forest with a lake and a waterfall that Roman could guarantee was nowhere near the fields that he could still see when looking behind him as Logan had stopped in the door opening to gape at the interior.

Logan was probably most taken by the countless books. Roman wasn’t a connoisseur, but even he could tell that some of these were handbound.

Books were not the only things on the shelves. There were all sorts of trinkets and accessories and nicknacks that Roman felt came from vastly different eras.

The home smelled like lavender and cinnamon.

They moved on to the livingroom. They passed a kitchen and something that looked like sleeping quarters and a study. Stardust jumped on the cushioned bench and looking at the group expectantly.

Roman though had noticed something else. “Is that music?” Roman wondered.

“Yeah, I like a little atmosphere around, it usually adjusts to my mood. But… I think the house mainly wants to welcome me home,” Virgil mused after listening for a few moments. The piece was indeed slightly celebratory.

“I’m going to my pantry to gather some ingredients then I’ll show you guys where we can rest before moving on… I’ll come back later,” he said the last part more to the house than to them.

He moved to one of the bookshelves and pushed against it, making a door in the wall open… Okay. That was very cool.

“How many rooms are there?” Logan asked.

Virgil paused and thought on that. “30, little more or less depending on how you count,” he informed him before turning to the collective. “You are guests so just, ask for something and if it is within reason, she’ll help you find it… Oh, that reminds me. Dex!?” he called out. A book flew up to him. He pointed at Logan. “He’s probably going to be in the library for the remainder of his stay here. Help him out,” he instructed before turning to the group again, the flying book moved to a fascinated Logan’s side. Hearing that in this home filled with books there was a separate library must be quite the revelation to their book loving friend.

“Feel free to try and find some books or stuff you think will help you out in the coming days. Read up on a new branch of magic, or see if you can learn something new with the one you are familiar with. Whatever you think is best. You have three hours, and then an hour rest, and after that we’ll be heading to the lake where they are holding Remus. Everyone okay with that?” Virgil asked.

The trio nodded. “Can I join you? I’d like to learn about some herbs I’m less familiar with,” Roman offered. He wasn’t going to say high level out loud. But he felt that everyone knew what he meant. He also wanted an excuse to be alone with Virgil for a little bit.

“Sure,” Virgil nodded, acting casual but Roman could feel that he was happy that Roman wanted to join him.

Virgil led the way through the door, past a room that Roman assumed was his study based on the desk the potion station and a window in the ceiling that showed the night sky. They moved through it and found themselves in a room of similar size, the walls filled with bottles and boxes and drawers of all sorts. Stardust pranced around the room looking up at the many boxes. Virgil chuckled and retrieved something from one and with a whistle, Stardust turned around and caught a treat that was tossed his way.

“Okay. I’m pretty sure I still had some crystals left last time…” Virgil mused as he moved past the walls and found the box he was looking for, pulling it out and smiling as he retrieved three crystals. “Got em,” he grinned as he put the box back. Roman looked at them for a long moment and his eyes widened in realization. “Those are mooncrystals,” he said.

Virgil nodded. “Yep. I use them as some extra light around the house and just in case I’m in a hurry and need moonlight. If those creeps are keeping Remus in his guide form with a sunstone then these should help us maintain human forms during the day. Though I won’t know how well it’ll work until we actually test it out. I don’t have sunstones but I’m sure we’ll be able to pick some up at the lake. Then we’ll be able to shift at will, hopefully,” Virgil stated.

Roman nodded in understanding. “So, what did you want to hear about?” Virgil wondered as he left the pantry to put the crystals out on the table to charge them… Hmmmm.

Roman was pulled out of his train of thought by Stardust nuzzling the pocket with the sending stone in. Roman was being called.

He took out the sending stone. “Yes Terence?” he asked.

Virgil looked up from the desk. He’d found a bag of his own and was transferring the contents of the borrowed bag into the new one.

“Lord Roman! Are you at the residence yet? Are you alright?” Terence asked, sounding worried.

“Yes. It is amazing here- woah!” he exclaimed as Stardust decided that he needed attention.

“Down boy!” Roman called out with a chuckle as he started scratching the wolf’s neck. “Yes you are very handsome and very good, but I’m talking here,” he chided playfully.

“Sorry Terance. It seems that the NightFlame’s wolf is quite happy to have company,” he offered.

“Oh, a wolf… He’s in good health? After so long?” Terance asked.

“Yes. It seems he is. Just very clingy,” Roman ensured him. The house is very helpful too. If there is something of use in here, I am confident we will find it. We’ll be moving on to whatever next clue we might find in a few hours,” he promised.

“Good. But don’t forget to rest. I’m sure the NightFlame wouldn’t mind you taking advantage of the shelter of his home for a night,” Terance argued. That was sweet of him. “Judging by how he decorated… I think you might be right,” Roman said, looking fondly at Virgil who rolled his eyes.

“Good. Yes… I’ll inform the king that he doesn’t need to worry. I’ll hear from you all soon,” Terance bid.

“Goodnight Terance,” Roman offered before putting the stone away.

“Can tell I’m a gracious host by my interior huh?” Virgil mused.

“Well, one. There is this guy here,” Roman pointed out, kneeling to pet Stardust more thoroughly.

“Who clearly isn’t too surprised or upset at you having guests over. Leading me to believe that despite this being your private, secret home, there have been visitors over the years and that they were treated as welcome guests,” he deduced.

“The table in your kitchen was too big to sit just one. And then there are the keepsakes,” Roman added.

“Keepsakes?” Virgil repeated curiously.

“Yeah. There were some accessories that don’t match your style and stuff like that. Things that didn’t quite belong,” he explained.

Virgil chuckled. “Not bad,” he complemented.

“Now, enough about me. What did you want to ask about?” Virgil wondered. Heading back to the pantry to restock his bag, put away the herbs that Lucas had salvaged for him and gestured for Roman to do the same.

“Well…” Roman found it difficult to ask about things he didn’t know. He had no clue where his knowledge lacked. What ways his education differed and lacked compared to the high mage…

Education. That was it.

“You were a teacher right?” Roman asked. Virgil smiled, a warmth spreading through him that Roman couldn’t recognize but he did have a name for it. Teaching had been Virgil’s calling. Whatever else he did, he enjoyed teaching the most.

“Sometimes,” he nodded.

“Teach me. I want to know how you would teach a fledgling herbalist,” Roman mused.

Virgil smiled as he put a leather drawstring bag from Lucas’ box in his bag.

He led the way out of the pantry and then went through a different door.

It held bags of different types of fibers, a few boxes filled with spools of different types of thread, a spinning wheel and a loom. The latter two looked very old but well taken care off.

Rolls of fabric were stored along the wall.

Interesting enough there was also a mannequin on a stage to the side and a cupboard full of what Roman would guess were sewing supplies.

That was right. In the memory… The clothes he’d been wearing. He made them by hand.

“Well, I’d take you apart and ask you, what made you decide on this path as your first specialization,” he mused as he walked to the mannequin and pulled the clothes he’d been wearing when they first met from the bag and started to carefully put them on the mannequin.

“Well… I guess, when I was little, I’d visit Patton’s family farm, and I’d watch Patton’s mother at work in the herb garden, and she’d tell me about the properties of certain spices and even weeds my parents would try to get rid of in our garden… well. That seemed pretty magical to me. So when I learned that certain herbs were actual magic, I wanted to know all about that, I wanted to discover which everyday plants that I hadn’t paid a second thought secretly held great magical power,” Roman explained.

Virgil put on the last piece on the mannequin and took a long look at the complete ensemble. Roman could tell he felt proud of it. He then made a dismissive gesture with his hand, making the outfit disappear, replaced by a different one.

Another luxurious looking set. Silks and gold and jewels put together to make a piece of art that Roman just knew would look gorgeous on him.

Another gesture. A new breathtaking set. And another one…

Wait a minute.

“You are bragging,” Roman realized amused.

Virgil blushed at getting caught.

“I… No. I don’t know what you mean,” he insisted.

“You are showing me your work,” Roman stated, looking around the room at all the gathered equipment. “You spun the threads yourself. You wove them into fabrics and you sewed them together,” he said, certain of his case. “Did you make the jewelry by hand too?” he asked, it wouldn’t surprise him at this point. He took Virgil’s hand in his own and held it to his chest, looking into his eyes, as though that would make his sincerity more obvious.

“You truly are an artist. But for whatever reason you don’t wish to brag. But you showed me your work and basked in the silent praise of my awe. You enjoyed feeling me be amazed at your work. The honest admiration that left no doubt on whether I’m just being polite. If you are uncertain of your talent as a tailor, then I am even more confident that you have been underselling your talent as a mage since we met,” he rambled.

Virgil was blushing hard now and looked away bashful. “Okay, you got me… You don’t have to lay it on that thick,” he muttered.

“I have half a mind to accept immortality just so I can spend the next century singing your praises,” Roman insisted. “Though I get it, artists are their own worst critics I suppose,” he mused.

“You’re an artist?” Virgil asked, curious.

“Well, I have been known to write a song or two. When I was ten I was so desperate for my parents to bring me along on their journey I wrote song upon song trying to prove I could entertain myself and them and maybe even help. I loved exploring the farms with Patton. But I also missed them…” Roman recalled, feeling nostalgic.

“It turned out a good thing that I wore them down. Because two years later… Me, Logan and Patton were found to be blessed. And so we went to the academy and I saw them even less…”

He didn’t fight the homesickness he felt. It was actually something he wanted to know about too.

“Is it… Hard? Never seeing them again?” he wondered carefully.

Virgil looked at Roman for a long moment and then chuckled. He took Roman’s hand and led him to the stool in front of the loom. Guiding him to take place on his lap. Roman was too taken aback to fight it.

“My parents were tailors. Mother taught me to use the loom. It was my older brother who showed me around in the garden. I loved helping him. Mostly I loved finding flowers among the weeds to gift to mother,” he mused as he picked up a shuttle and laid it in Roman’s hands, laying his own over them and guiding Roman through the motions of weaving in gentle, patient moves.

“I found that loved ones tend to teach you new things to love,” Virgil mused.

“I never set out to be much of a singer or a poet, but I once loved a man who asked a very similar question and he found my answer so profound, he had me help him compose a poem that I could recite to myself whenever I missed someone,” he offered.

“You wonder about the ones I left behind,” he hummed in Roman’s ear, making a shiver go down his spine. Weren’t they supposed to take it slow? He had to know how flustered Roman was right now. He hadn’t so much as held a boy’s hand. He’d been too busy studying with Logan and Patton ever since joining the academy. Figuring there’d be time for romance after they saved the kingdom.

“You ask how I cope with so much grief,” A deep sorrow brought tears to Roman’s eyes. The longing for all the ones who were forever out of Virgil’s reach.

“Let me ease your mind,” Virgil insisted, and the crushing grief lifted from Roman’s heart.

“Though their existence may seem brief, against my eternity,” he mused gently.

“And sure, it may have gone by fast. But the time they spent with me, it is forever in my past,” he offered, letting the silence ring and finishing another row, embracing Roman and leaning in even closer. “And now that we have me. You too have become a thread. In this tapestry of me,” he promised and Roman felt Virgil’s affection to him clearer than ever before. Virgil gave Roman some more room and continued weaving with him.

“My first memory, is in my mother’s lap just like this,” he smirked brushing his nose against Roman’s temple.

“The smell of flowers everywhere. On the walls and in her hair. I can hear her singing, I feel her kiss,” his hands on Roman’s tightened for a moment as his voice wavered before coming back strong. “And even after all this time, I still feel her hands over mine and remember the first fabric I ever made,” a nostalgic pride filled Roman’s heart.

“And I feel her lips so near, I hear crystal clear, My darling you did great,” Virgil whispered in his ear.

“Now that we have met, you have become a thread, in this tapestry of me.

And so I keep them all close, it’s true In the things we used to do.

My brother in the garden, my father in a horse’s prance. My little sister, I take her to every dance. The first man who I ever kissed, is sorely missed but he’s with me when I play his lyre. So you see. They are all with me,” Virgil was wistful, mourning… But not sad, Roman realized. His grief had become a joyous thing for it was proof of the bond that had been there.

“And now that we have met, you too have become a thread.

And forevermore you will be, a part of my tapestry,” he promised once more, and Roman had to take that in for a moment. This adventure, no matter what happened after, it would become part of Virgil. He would forever be remembered by him… Wow.

“Well, I think it’s time we regroup and talk strategy before we rest up, eat and head out,” Virgil mused as he made them both stand up and walk back towards the living room.

Right… Virgil’s friend was waiting to be set free. He’d been in that temple for far too long.

Roman righted his shoulders and made himself a promise that Virgil wouldn’t have to wait a second longer to be reunited with his friend. One of two people who might still remember the people Virgil had loved other than Virgil himself.

Learning more magic, getting closer to Virgil, bonding with his guide, coming up with a spell. All of that could wait a million years.

First they had a mountain mage to rescue.

[ridingtorohan]

𓇻 ft. jealous mikasa x gn reader. 𓇻 au. friends to lovers, can be read as modern or canon setting. you've agreed to run a kissing booth. Mikasa is, oddly enough, not as receptive to this idea as you are. 𓇻 enjoy! feel free to like, share, reblog or send in asks! ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎read on ao3! - masterlist - join the taglist!

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"No."

Hearing that one syllable, you let out a slow, resigned sigh. Mikasa stood to your right, brows knitted together, mouth pulled tight into a thin line. Your own eyebrows raised, unperturbed.

"It's not really your decision, Mikasa."

It really wasn't; nor was it any of her business. Mikasa had always been tight-lipped and serious, dutiful to her own responsibilities. You'd think she'd have taken a shine to your own iniative. Everyone knew how badly your division needed the funds. As juvenile as it was, a kissing booth seemed reasonable. Especially with the festivities. Rather, not too long ago, Mikasa had been put in a similar position- though far less willing.

Even now, you could recall how she looked at the Christmas party a few months back. How her pale skin lit under the festive hues, greens and reds dancing over her cheeks. How she stood standing beneath the archway, brows knitted just as they were now. Dressed in sleek black pants, white blouse that fit her broad shoulders, glass in hand.

You weren't sure whether Jean or Mikasa had been more disappointed when they caught each other under the mistletoe.

She has that same look now, barely concealed disgust curling at her mouth, lurking in the dark grey of her eyes. Which for anyone else looking at her, was scarce more than a shadow around the corner of her lips.

"It's for a good cause." You shrugged, nonchalant and almost irritated by her reaction. Mikasa stood for a moment - never hovered, indecision was never something she did-- with eyes half-lidded and narrow in thought.

"Then I'll match it. Every donation," she said firmly, taking another step forward. Her hand rest low at your elbow, grip insistent. Warmth seeped through the fine linen of your shirt, fingers curled sharp over the dip of your arm.

You've been privy to Mikasa's protective ways, how she coddled Armin and Eren at every turn. Rarely she's turned it on you - and right now it was stifling. With a careful twist, you pulled your arm free, grip still firm on the consent papers you were asked to sign.

"It's not a big deal," you countered, a creep of annoyance crawled in and made a home in your tone. Mikasa's mouth twitched, dark eyebrows lowered over an equally dark expression.

"I see. Then you'll understand it's not a big deal when I spend my time at the booth." Mikasa's voice held firm, her gaze even more level when you turned. There was no room to brooker a disagreement; everyone knew how stubborn the Ackermans were, wielding ferocity in their bloods. Just as they held intimidation in their gaze.

With her brooding at the stand, you'd lose a great deal of customers. Nevermind the ones who specifically came to see her.

Stifled under her steely gaze, you turned away, expression twisted with a grimace. "Mikasa. Be serious. Most of the donors will be there for either you or Levi." Her presence at your side remained, every line of her body rigid and terse. You tacked on, willing for a low blow, "The Azumabito Clan will be there."

Finally, after an eternity, she turned her face away, cheek exposed. Wisps of hair fell across her cheek, shrouded her expression from view. Even from the corner of your eyes, you watched her, how the muscles in her jaw flexed, tense with the improper weight of this situation.

The memory of the Christmas party lingered; the fleeting kiss under the archway. How not once did her look shift, even when Jean pulled away, an equal grimace on his face. Not when Sasha bumped into her, cheeks rosy under the temptation of drink. Not when Eren or Levi avoided the archway like a plague while Mikasa stood vigil, totally not conspicious at all. Not even when her gaze once caught yours, too fleeting to be anything meaningful when you turned to enjoy the cheer.

At first you had admired her resolve and after a while it had been just sad. Even worse when her knuckles ghosted over the fabric of your shirt when you passed through. By then, it had been Floch who stood awkwardly there, in a futile attempt to weasel out of a kiss - even when at the time, all you had wanted to do was the feel the gloss of Mikasa's lips, her breath on your skin.

It was hard not to be bitter that night and even more bitter now, especially when it shouldn't matter to her.

Tongue pressed to the inside of your cheek, your next inhale was sharp and through your nose. Papers crinkled under your grip, freshly inked words smeared across your palm. You couldn't find yourself to care, not when Mikasa stood firm to the one thing that might, heaven forbid, not only let you help out your career but get over her.

After a moment, Mikasa's words returned, nearly as firm as the grip of her own knuckles, arms stiff at her side. Even frustrated, she was pretty, righteous in her cold fury. "I don't want to be there for them. They doesn't matter to me." Her eyes cut towards you, lines smoothed from her face.

The scent of perfume, sweat and hay became pronounced as she stepped towards you. As tall and broad as she was, she nearly cut an imposing figure. Shoulders angled forward, insistent in the tear of her gaze. A familiar glint of determination roosted in her eyes. This close, you could feel the ghost of her bodyheat as her fingertips brushed over your hip.

This close, it's impossible not to feel your heart freeze in your chest, how it skittered under the intensity of her gaze. You can't focus on anything but the shift of her palm over your body, the act familiar and intimate. When you swallow harshly, Mikasa's dark eyes flicked down, traced over the swell of your throat.

"If I attend, it will be for you." Her eyes traced over the lines of your face, from your eyes, down the slope of your nose and, impossibly, lingered on your mouth. "I don't want you kissing anyone else."

Her grip tightened, firm on your hip. "Not unless you want to."

All you can do is stare into her eyes, pools of intense and focused grey framed by thick, dark lashes. This close, you could spot the sun freckles that curved over her cheekbones and bridge of her nose. She meant it, you realized. Meant it with the same passion and conviction she used in every other aspect of her life.

Her gaze wavered and darted between your eyes. Your foot is nudged by the toe of her boot. Slowly, by fractions, her grip on your hip lessened before it left altogether. Phantom warmth lingered and for a moment, you could breathe again.

"And if that's what you want," she continued in a low tone. Her chest rose slightly, breathing deep and eyes unfathomably dark. Mikasa's gaze cut down this time, past your jaw, expression slowly knit together - guarded. "Then I won't bring it up again."

It takes another longer, tense moment to finally remember how to breathe. Your eyes caught on the curve of her face, cheeks darker now with - embarrassment? Want? With a harsh swallow, you asked, "You want to kiss me?"

Immediately, she nodded, chin tucked down and strands of black hair fell across her clear forehead. There's no shame in her expression, though the knuckles in her hands pop white, fingers curled inward. Then, as unfathomable as it is, you realize with a start that Mikasa was blushing - that the dark hue that coloured the base of her neck was the start of a flush.

It's not hard to think then, of every moment that lead to this. Of knuckles that brushed over paperwork, how close she stood at your back when she corrected your training stance. Each lingered gaze over books, how her expression eased by fractions every time you two spoke. Then, unwittingly, how her hand felt on the inside of your arm as you side-stepped her from under the mistletoe.

Had she been waiting for you there?

You breathe again with a starlight explosion in your chest. She liked you. Out of everyone that she knew, everyone who vyed for her attention - it was you that turned her head.

Heat washed up the length of your neck. It felt like your heart reacted faster to this realization than your mind could: it skipped a few beats and thundered in your chest.

Mikasa wanted to kiss you. She had been willing to spend her resources, as limited as they were, to actually get a chance to kiss you. That Mikasa didn't want to choose any other kissing booth over yours.

"Yes!" It's a single word spoken in a rush, air hot and thick in your throat. Reflectively, your fingers clenched and a low papery crunch sounded. Though her eyes remained on you, eyebrows hung low. Then the corners of her lips pulled into a frown and almond eyes squinted.

"...Okay."

With a start, you recalled the last words she had offered you. "Wait," you get out in a rush. A beat passed- one where you hesitated, papers in hand. Then it's got in the next and you shove the forms into your bag for later. You'll decide what role you'll want in the kissing booth after this.

"Wait, I meant yes, I want that. To kiss you, I mean."

It's a near instant reaction, her perception zeroing in on your baited breath, the sincerity in your voice. Tension smoothed out of her forehead, lines gone from around her mouth, each breath steady as it always was. And she stood, as she always did, with her body angled in your direction, in orbit around you.

"Yes?" She repeated, soft and low. Mikasa's expression shifted when you said it again. Then, when your fingertips traced over lax knuckles, tapped to the edge of her palm, she responded in kind, hand turned to let you lace your fingers together.

Noses bumped together as you leaned in, drawn in her orbit now, caught in the current that was all Mikasa Ackerman. Mint rolled over your face with each exhale. Strands of black velvety hair fell across your face.

'Vulnerable'. It's a strange word to apply to someone like her, even in a situation like this. But it's the one that twitched in your throat. Because that's what she is, in a moment like this. Exposed. How a smile overtook her face all at once, radiant and beautiful, her eyes no less intense but honest. This is a side that you've only glimpsed at, have seen or heard in dark candlelit libraries or under starblessed skies. This is the side of Mikasa reserved for you.

Then your breath was on her lips, air warmer than your face. Soft, plush lips brushed over yours, a little dry but not unpleasant. Nice, actually, especially in the instant when she breathed out a 'hm' against your mouth as your hands rested over her waist. This time, you guided her like she once did you.

Then her hands settled over your skin, over your waist and the dip of your shoulder, grounded you to her. Calloused fingertips felt like home. She kissed like she's never been kissed before, like all the tension that had ground up between you settled into this one moment.

There's a thousand currents that thundered through your brain, insistent and fast. All that numbed to one pinpoint: the brush of her lips against yours, insistent tug against your hip, her warm breath across your face. To feel her skin against yours, to know that nobody else would have this. That she wanted you.

And the resounding electric current under your skin that whispered, it had always been her. For the both of you, this moment would exist forever.

[ghostlychief]

i saw that your requests are open, but i didn't see any rules for requests or anything, so let me know if there's something that you are uncomfortable with doing.

that being said, could we get a whump master chief fic where he comes back from a mission but he's a little scuffed and injured, and we take care of him? or maybe vice versa, where reader comes back from a planetary survey or something like that but encountered some malicious people there and came back slightly injured, so it's chief that takes care of us? (feel free to choose from either of these, i just couldn't decide which one to put down so i put both lol)

and thank you!! your master chief fics are amazing and have given me some very good dreams c;

I love the idea where John takes care of reader for once (since he’s usually the one all banged up from his missions) and thank you for your sweet message!! hope you enjoy <3

the one where John takes care of you

---

You weren’t used to combat, seeing that you were a civilian and a scientist. However, you did receive basic training due to the climate of the galaxy, and the never-ending threat of the Covenant, but again, you weren’t military.

So, needless to say you were a little thrown off when you came into contact with non-friendlies on the planet you were surveying. You were currently in the Luyten system, specifically Luyten 726-8, checking out an outer rim planet that had a small set of colonies. You and your team quickly found out they weren’t welcoming colonies, and in fact were offended at your arrival.

Luckily, three marines were stationed on this mission with you and your small team of five, but you didn’t come out of the altercation completely unscathed.

You were left with a few cuts and scrapes, and some bruising on your arms and ribs. Nothing a little R&R couldn’t fix. You were fine, and felt alright despite what happened. You were more concerned what John’s reaction would be when you got back to Reach. Hopefully he wouldn’t hear wind of this since you had a week journey back to home base. You figured most of your injuries would heal by then, but you think you’ve bruised or maybe broken a rib, so that one is for sure still going to be there by the time you touch down.

Nothing you can do now expect wait.

~*~*~

You let out a sigh as the aircraft finally touches down on base. The way back home wasn’t pleasant in the slightest. Everyone was on edge after what happened on Luyten 726-8 and being injured didn’t help the mood. In addition, you didn’t get nearly as many samples as you would have liked, so that means another mission is on the horizon. Lovely.

The only thing getting you through the day is that you get to see John. You had little to no contact with him while you were away, so you’ve been impatiently waiting for your reunion. Your boots haven’t even made it off the ramp when you spot John waiting for you in the hanger. He’s in his civies and he’s standing with his arms crossed, waiting. His face only softens when he makes eye contact with you, and your legs pick up their pace, and move into a light jog in order to reach him.

He envelops you in his long arms, and you wrap yours around his middle, and you subconsciously let out a sigh of relief.

Once you’ve hugged him for a few minutes, you finally release your hold on him, and step back to look up into his light eyes. You grant him a smile and he offers one in return, but it drops when he notices the bruises littering your arms and the red scrapes on your knuckles. His hand grasps yours and he rubs his thumb over the ridges of your knuckles and then brings it up to his lips and leaves a tender kiss there. He then asks, “What happened?”

A sigh leaves your lips as you explain, “We were ambushed and didn’t have much back-up. But we’re all okay, just a little banged up.” Your shoulders rise in a small shrug. John lets out a hum, still examining you and then says, “Next time I’ll make sure they send more than three marines. It’s absurd they didn’t send more security detail with you in the first place.”

“Well, why don’t you just come with me next time?” You tease, still smiling up at him.

He brushes his thumb under your eye, along your cheek bone and says, “That can be arranged.”

-*-*-

Hours later finds you back at your apartment waiting for John to be done in the bathroom for your “surprise.” He finally emerges and guides you in. You’re immediately met with a soft glow caused by the dozens of candles lit around your cozy bathroom. The tub is filled high, almost overflowing with bubbles that smell like lavender, and there are two glasses filled with red wine on the counter.

A small gasp leaves your lips, and John wastes no time getting you into the tub, him following behind you. You’re sitting comfortably in-between his legs, and you lean back into your boyfriend, finally feeling relaxed in the last few weeks.

Your eyes shut from the warmth of the water, and due to the embrace of your boyfriend, and you fight the urge to fall asleep. He brings his head down to kiss along your neck and shoulder.

He hums against your skin, “I’m sorry for what happened to you on your last expedition.” His hands come up and start lightly massaging your shoulders, releasing all of the tension built up there. You let out a small groan, and quietly you say, “Thank you. Could have been a lot worse than it was. Just happy to be back home for a while.” You crane your neck at John’s deft hands working the muscles there.

He trails his hands down your side and John wraps his arms around your middle, hugging you from behind. As they brush over your bruised ribs, you flinch a little, catching his attention. "What's wrong, are you okay?"

He moves his hands so they now rest on your arms as he waits for your answer.

"Yeah, I just bruised a few ribs, nothing major." You think you hear a sigh leave his lips.

“I talked to head of security for your section, and from now on there will be extra security detail assigned to all your missions.”

Of course, he talked to head of security.

“You know how I feel about you using your, status, for work-related things, John.” You weren’t really mad at him, but sometimes it made you feel self-conscious, and that people judged you by not thinking you deserved the job title you possessed.

“Can you let me take care of you?” There’s a light lilt in his voice as he asks this, and he leaves a kiss on your temple.

“Hmm, I guess so. Besides, you’re a pretty good masseuse. Maybe I should get beat up more often.”

He scoffs and you're certain he's shaking his head. He brings his mouth close to your ear, and says "How about, no."

His tone is dry, making you laugh. Although you slightly flinch again, as the pain in your ribs flares up. You know that John felt you jerk again, so his hands rub down your arms in a comforting way, and he kisses your head again.

You lean further back into him, and enjoy his tender touches for the remainder of the night, thankful he's here for you.

-*-*-

[unsaidthingsj2e]

that one good cologne, that you bought when we were fighting

Summary : Memories of the night Jude broke up with you are flooding back as you smell his perfume in the bus.

a/n : once again, ignore any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language,

this is inspired by memories by conan gray (<3) and most specifically by the lyrics i put as the title of this fic!!

this is just angst but also i don't know if anything i ever write has any value so don't get your hopes too high, tho i would love to know what you thought ab it!! love ya

It annoyed you, how memory worked. How the sight of a picture, the sound of a melody, the taste of a pastry, the texture of a shirt, the smell of the air would make you remember stuff you tried so hard to bury deep inside your mind.

You hated how it would hit you at the most random moments, taking you by surprise and sending you into memory lane without your consent.

Because you just entered the bus, eager to finally go home after a long day at uni. You had to run in order to catch the bus and not wait for another 10 minutes in the rain. For once, you spotted a free seat that would relieve your back of the heavy weight of your backpack, the bus ride would, for once, not be living hell.

Quickly making your way to the back of the bus where you saw the seat, you sat and sighed, letting the stress dissolve. After taking quick breaths in order to allow oxygen to course through your veins again, it hit you.

You found yourself physically unable to move as the smell of the air hit you. Your brain only took seconds to catch up, pairing the smell of the cologne the guy behind you wore with what you still describe as the worst period of your life.

Too vividly for your own liking, the scene seemed to play in front of you.

You usually weren't the confrontational type, always preferring hiding your feelings deep inside you, convincing yourself you overreacted when something seemed off.

This is something your boyfriend, Jude, made sure to change throughout your relationship. He made sure you knew he would not react like your parents and past partners always did when you brought up an issue.

You loved him, and this part of him, that was making sure you felt safe, was your favorite. He clearly cared for your bond and wanted you to be able to express whatever was on your mind.

Him reassuring you did not make the process less stressful, as you usually fell back into old patterns, but after a year of dating him, you were beginning to get more comfortable at the idea of openly communicating your feelings.

That's how it started.

"Jude? Can I talk to you please?" you said before you could chicken out of this

"Hi love, I didn't know you came home already" he left his spot in front of the TV to come greet you with a kiss, "sure, what's on your mind?"

This display of attention, that became so rare lately, made you pause, wondering if you were indeed making it all up. But when you made eye contact with the boy, you could still see all the space between you two, that wasn't there before.

"Can we go back on the couch maybe? I'd like to be sitting to discuss this" you tried to create an environment that would lessen the pressure on yourself, not trusting your knees not to break right here and there.

You used to be so sure Jude would be your lifeline, having been friends for so long before dating, and now, knowing how good he could treat you as his girlfriend, you could not help but be confused at what he was becoming.

His eyes grew cold and distant, the time he dedicated to you kept on reducing, the affection behind his nicknames seemingly gone. You wondered if you did something to activate this slow and agonizing descent into your personnal hell; a life without him.

You could see worry creeping up in his eyes, vector of so many emotions, or lack of thereof, he could never hide, "Whatever you'd like, is something wrong?" Jude asked.

"Maybe? I don't really know if i'm making all of this up but you're the one that always insisted I don't let myself spiral with my thoughts right?"

"Yeah, always love, I want you to be comfortable around me"

"Okay, uhm, I couldn't help but notice you slowly slipping away? It's just that you're not around as much, you don't seem to long for the physical touch you usually crave from me and, I feel like you don't even care about me anymore, like you've seen all that was to see and you've just grown bored"  you spit out in a single breath, worrying you could change your mind if you didn't say it fast enough.

It's the way the worry in his eyes shifted to a shade closer to annoyance that was the exact reason why you hated doing this, "Hey, I don't know where you think you saw that, but I still love you as much as I did yesterday and all the days before, none of what you said reflects what I'm feeling for you" his honey slicked voice tried to reassure you, but it just didn't seem enough this time.

Engulfing you in a hug to shut down any answer or further explanation you may have had, Jude started kissing your face everywhere he could, "My pretty girl spends her time worrying when she's the only one I see"

You let it slide only because coming up with this took all your energy and you still were unsure whether or not you made everything up,

but the next month just further proved your points

You did try again, multiple times, to bring it up. When you did, he would shut you up with physical attention, hugs that smelled of a new, foreign cologne he bought, and pretty words. Other times, he would straight up avoid the topic. The drastic change in his behavior concerning conversations came with a return of every insecurities he once erased, you stopped trying and just let it eat you from the insides.

A month ago, you had tried to surprise jude by going to his place before he could arrive, and prepare a romantic evening that would serve to cover up your broken relationship. Cooking his favorite meal, baking the desert that he could not get enough of and putting on your guys' favorite playlist, you were happy with your work.

While you were finishing cooking the main dish, your phone vibrated, indicating a new text from your man

"we should talk, come by my place in an hour?"

Not knowing what it could mean nor if you were supposed to reveal your surprise, you did not answer.

10 minutes later, Jude entered his appartement, not expecting to see you here already. You could tell he was about to ask why you showed up so early when he told you to come in an hour before he noticed the music, the smell, the state of the dining table.

"Hi, we should probably talk before doing all of this" he said while gesturing to all the stuff you prepared. the lack of kisses and "thank you"'s were not unusual but still stung as if it was the first time.

"Yeah, sure, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I'll go straight to the point to make it fair to you, because I haven't been. I met a new girl."

Time stopped

"I'm sorry that you were right about all these things you used to hold myself accountable for, but I found myself falling for her and it had to come with putting space between us. I wish things were different but I have to break up with you in order to make things fair for both of us, we just aren't made for each other and it's time we accept it"  he said, still filled with confidence and when you dared to look in his eyes, shades of honesty and the lack of empathy or sadness felt like just another knife being thrown into your back.

He was so convinced he was being the good guy, coming clean and acting as if the relationship was a burden to both of you. You wondered how long he has been feeling like that, what triggered the need to be fair now, when he hasn't been for at least a few months, if he said your accusations were correct.

You felt dizzy, confused, hurt, but neither tears nor words were coming out. You could only bet your face was one of stone, with pain all over it written in capital letter with glittery paint. All you knew was that you had to leave, so you did.

Jude had anticipated the shutting down part, knowing you well enough to know this many emotions and facts to process would send you into overdrive, so he did the talking, "As much as I appreciate you and I always did, I doubt a friendship between us would work again. It would, this time, not be fair to my girlfriend, I'm sure you can understand."

The word girlfriend being used for someone that wasn't you made an unexpected sob rip through your chest. You had an hard time believing the man in front of you was the man that used to be your best friend and lover. Such hard words used carelessly, no matter what you felt was so unusual for him.

That cologne, so foreign, caused an headache. Or maybe it was the wave of intense emotions, the contained tears and the broken promises. You made your way to the door, opening it and freezing.

You considered saying a snarky comment about dinner, attacking him about the trust you had put in him, asking about this new girl, but you just couldn't.

You'd look for closure later, when your mind was not foggy and threatening to shut down as well, but for now it's you leaving the double of the keys he gave you behind. More than a key, it was ornamented with keychains from places you had visited together, mostly places where he played with his team. And the key of the heart shaped locker you two had put on the infamous love lock bridge in paris, when he would insist you keep it instead of throwing it in the water, because you would always be the key to his heart.

All hope of a peaceful bus drive was gone, as you still found yourself glued to your seat, paralyzed by the scent of the cologne.

It caused you the same headache it had back then, accompanied by the tears you had held back when last confronted to this smell.

part 2 right here <3

[lord-angelfish]

So! This is the full argument that I made, copied word for word from the draft that I sent a dear friend of mine to proofread. This happened during the conversation with the other Bangs & Bangability mods leading up to my resignation sent in the discord server and the subsequent fallout here. I'll also include a direct transcription of the response I got to it. All under the cut because it's very long.

Regarding the earlier conversation, there are a few points I need to make with regards to the direction we seem to be heading in. To start, organizing in favor of a specific subset of participants to the detriment of another is unethical and unjust, which will make us seem and in truth be untrustworthy and unreliable in a management capacity. As stated previously, should that be the course of action taken, I will be obligated to step down and will no longer be able to participate in good faith. The reception and handling of the primary brought-upon issue (re: Wincest and incest inclusion) have been presented in a way that implies a strong personal bias amongst administration. If this was going to become a significant problem, or in the event that there were concerns with how it would affect the bang's run, it should have been addressed during the discussions and preparations before sign ups were opened to avoid false advertising and participant fallout. The point of a moderation team is that it's supposed to function as a team. Should a member of said team struggle with a personal bias or aversion to something stipulated in the rules upon sign up, yet still wanted to participate, then discussion ought to be opened up immediately. As I am someone capable and willing to handle the content prompting the aforementioned problem (re: Wincest and incest), the entire situation could have been smoothed over far sooner and with significantly more finesse. Personal boundaries can and should be set for both staff and participants, but without alienating an entire subset of participants or abandoning responsibility for said participants entirely, after already promising inclusion, safety, and accomodations for. On a personal level, fundamental to my moderation policy is that a moderator can not and should not be expected to be personally responsible for the triggers or squicks of every individual in their event or server. As a member of any given staff, one can only provide tools for each individual implement on their own to protect themselves at their own discretion. To wit, our goal should be to be able to say "We have enabled you to avoid the chat that makes you uncomfortable. It's now up to you to curate your space and stay out of conversations and spaces that upset you."

The response I got to this (transcribed directly from a screenshot and names left out to protect the privacy of the person in question) was this:

"Wow don't even. I would like to be inclusive and I did just open a dialogue with the mods, in the private mod chat, not in the middle of the fucking server. And if you read back, you will note that I said absolutely next round the rules are being changed. But you know what? If I need to do it sooner, I will. Bottom line, this is my baby and I can adjust so everything is copacetic for the majority of participants. And if that means alienating a handful of people who think fucking their siblings is a valid lifestyle choice, well, shit. Sorry if that's offensive to you"

I'm posting this in the interests of full transparency so please do not send hate or anything to the mods of the bang. I'm just very disappointed that an event that was supposed to be inclusive ended up going to shit for people. I'd also like to point out that the phrase "...a handful of people who think fucking their siblings is a valid lifestyle choice..." is just recycling old anti arguments and banking on a disgust reaction to back up the completely nonsensical argument made.

Please feel free to ask me any questions you have about this!

[cherienymphe]

Amnesiac II (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

WARNINGS: eventual NON-CON, eventual DUB-CON, violence, public sex, memory loss, underage drinking, drug use, non canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​​​ | divider by @firefly-graphics​

➥ series masterlist

summary: “There’s something wrong with your love story, baby...”

After a surfing accident leaves you with little to no memory of everything that happened before that day, you start to wonder if the blond in what little memories you do have is the same one who claims to be your boyfriend.

~

“When Rose said you didn’t remember anything, I kind of wanted her to be lying.”

Sarah was just as pretty up close as she was in your pictures. You had taken some from your mirror, taking the time to pour over them in the guest room when you returned to Rafe’s house. She was in a lot of them, hinting at just how close you two were before the accident.

Rafe was in the shower when she finally got you alone, and the tears of relief in her eyes made your heart hurt. You wanted to remember her so badly, but nothing about her face or name brought forth any semblance of recognition.

“I want to hug you,” she had breathed, standing in the doorway. “But I feel like that would be weird for you.”

She wasn’t wrong, but you pushed the feeling aside.

“It’s okay,” you had assured her, and her arms trembled when she wrapped them around you.

“Everyone was so worried,” she murmured, making you frown. “…and they only allowed a specific number of people to see you. Everyone thought the worst.”

There was that word again.

Everyone.

You thought about the pictures you’d been looking at, and you gestured to your bed.

“Everyone…?”

She looked around you, taking slow steps to the bed, and you watched the small smile that spread along her face as she shuffled through them.

“Yeah,” she breathed. “That’s Pope, then there’s me, obviously.”

She pointed at another picture.

“That’s you and Pope and Kie, his girlfriend…and…that’s John B. He and I are dating. They’re all your friends, and…”

She trailed off with a frown. You watched as it deepened before she flipped through all of the photos. You curiously watched her, her lips parting with a scoff.

“That’s weird. JJ isn’t in any of these,” she murmured.

Something about the name made your head hurt, and you stumbled back before forcing yourself to sit down. Sarah noticed, reaching out to you.

“Are you okay…?”

Her concern was evident.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Um…they said that things might come back slowly. I think I’m just getting a little overwhelmed.”

You were just about to ask her about JJ when Rafe’s presence filled the room. You blinked at him in shock, mouth parting before glancing away. His chest was still damp from his shower, and you gave him some semblance of privacy as he pulled his shirt over his head.

“What are you doing?”

The question was directed at his sister, and you glanced at him again before resting your gaze on her.

“Talking to my friend. What is it to you?”

“You shouldn’t try to make her remember so much at once,” he snapped at her, and you stood.

His annoyance was clear as day, and you understood that he was concerned for you. You hesitantly reached for Rafe’s arm, sending him a small smile when his gaze landed on you. It seemed to calm him down some, and you shrugged.

“It’s fine, Rafe. I wanted to know, but I guess… I guess it was a lot at once,” you placated him before glancing at Sarah.

Her blue gaze wasn’t focused on you or Rafe though but instead where your hand met his skin. Her lips were parted, and there was the most peculiar look on her face before her gaze lifted. She looked between you two with a deep frown, and in a way, it reminded you of how Wheezie looked between you the other night.

“You should take it slow,” he murmured, reaching for your face with his free hand. “It’ll come back in it’s own time.”

Rafe’s words reassured you of that, and you nodded. You turned back to Sarah, and she looked like she wanted to say something before glancing at Rafe and thinking better of it.

“Rafe and I are going to brunch. Do you want to come?”

Rafe’s voice was low when he spoke, filled with conviction.

“That’s sweet, but Sarah’s busy. Right…?”

He was looking at her too now, and Sarah looked to be contemplating it before crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah. Kie and I have plans, but…she’s been dying to see you.”

That was directed at you, and you suddenly thought about the friends you didn’t even know you had. You had the urge to meet them, but considering the dizzy spell you’d just had, you told yourself that it could wait until later or another day. You wanted all of your memories back just as much as anyone else did, you were sure, but you didn’t enjoy feeling like your head would explode.

You waved Sarah goodbye as Rafe pulled you away, frowning a bit.

“How come none of them have been by to see me?” you wondered when you were strapped into Rafe’s truck.

It was peculiar.

You had entire friendships that were even well documented in photographs, and yet you’d been released from the hospital for over a week now, and none of them came to see you. However, Sarah’s words contradicted their actions. When you looked at Rafe, he was smiling sadly at you before reaching out to brush his thumb over your bottom lip.

“I told you,” he exhaled. “Some people didn’t have your best interests at heart. Some of them your so-called friends.”

That thought made you sad, and you frowned just as Rafe pulled out of the driveway. Did you fall out with them? Have some sort of argument? If so, why did you still keep those pictures around? You supposed it was possible that you wanted to hang onto memories, or maybe it had happened recently, and you just hadn’t gotten around to tossing everything out.

But Sarah acted like you were still friends with them.

Brunch with Rafe included the presence of his friends. He introduced them as Kelce and Topper respectively, and it felt odd to meet them. After all, they certainly knew you, knew more about you than you did at the moment, and yet to you, they were strangers.

“We didn’t even know you guys were dating,” Kelce said, absentmindedly tapping his menu.

You frowned at Rafe at that, perplexed on why his closest friends didn’t know.

“We wanted to keep things private. You wanted to keep things private,” he corrected, and you mulled that over.

“Why…?”

Rafe took a sip of his water, and you kept your eyes on him as he answered.

“You were close with Sarah, and she is my sister.”

His answer made sense to you, but your frown deepened. You’d been dating Rafe and kept it from her? With as close as you two seemed in all of your pictures…that didn’t sit right with you. It seemed to you that your relationship started to become public during the aftermath of the accident. Rafe confirmed that when you were walking back to his truck. His fingers were threaded through yours.

“I almost lost you,” he quietly said, turning to look at you.

Your heart sank at the darkness in his eyes, the empty look at such a possibility.

“You looked so…lifeless. So unlike you, and…I wanted the world to know what you meant to me.”

You glanced down at that, nodding. Rafe rested his hands under your jaw, tilting your head up, and you swallowed as he looked between your eyes.

“I’ve made some mistakes…” he breathed. “…some that I’m still trying to make up for, but when I pulled you out of the water, I made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to make anymore when it comes to you.”

The desire to know everything about your relationship was strong. What mistakes? How bad were they that you could still see the torment they caused him in his eyes? What was your first kiss like? Your first date? You were so beyond curious. After all, you had this gorgeous man here looking at you like you were the most important thing in the world to him. How did you get to that point?

When Rafe leaned in, you ducked your head a bit, and you swallowed at his sigh.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized.

Rafe shook his head, a strained smile on his lips.

“Don’t be…”

“But I am. You’re my boyfriend and…you still feel like a stranger to me. It’s going to take a lot of getting used to,” you said. “…and I feel bad because…I don’t know what we were like before…”

Rafe tilted his head at that, a slight furrow between his brow, and you continued.

“I don’t know what you’re accustomed to in our relationship,” you slowly said.

You looked at Rafe, and he was such a stranger to you, but why did the thought of him leaving you, or God forbid, seeking someone else out make your stomach turn? How could you be so possessive of someone you hardly knew? Maybe that was your subconscious, the memories you couldn’t remember reminding you that he was yours.

He was yours…right?

He looked at you like he was yours, and he certainly touched you like he was yours.

“I like that you’re my boyfriend,” you admitted, and you didn’t miss the slow smile that danced along his lips. “…and I don’t want that to change because I can’t give you what you want, right now.”

Rafe pulled you closer, the corner of his lips pulling up into a smirk.

“That’s what you’re worried about?”

You gave a shaky nod, and Rafe chuckled to himself, perfect teeth winking at you. He leaned in, brushing his soft lips over your cheek, and he lingered there for a moment. The scent of him invaded your senses, and your lashes fluttered closed for a moment. When he pulled back a bit, you almost wanted to follow, but the intensity of his gaze held you in place.

His stare was unwavering, and Rafe smiled at you.

“I will wait for as long as long as it takes.”

Sarah glanced up at you when you knocked on her door, and you watched her close her book, setting her phone aside. It was hard to read the expression on her face, and you felt nervous…awkward. You cleared your throat before taking a step inside.

“Rafe told me that you didn’t know about us,” you slowly said.

Sarah looked away before heaving a sigh, pushing herself to her feet. You watched as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear, a sour look on her face.

“Yeah… That was quite the shock,” she replied.

You nodded, and you wished more than anything that you could remember.

“If we were as close as I think we were…then I’m sorry,” you said with a frown. “I don’t remember anything leading up to us, and I don’t know why I would hide that from you or at least not talk to you first.”

Sarah seemed to be thinking, so you continued.

“I wish I knew what I had been thinking because that’s not something a friend would do, and I really want to know what we were like as friends. I hope that this didn’t sour that.”

Sarah sighed again before fixing you with a look, head tilted.

“Yeah, it was shocking, but not really for the reasons you think,” she started.

You blinked at her.

“You simply dating Rafe isn’t the problem. We all grew up together, and you and Rafe have-had a friendship that’s separate from me,” she explained. “You always did, and I always suspected that he liked you.”

Sarah opened her mouth before snapping it shut. She glanced towards her window, frown deepening as she shook her head.

“You hated Rafe.”

She said this as she looked back to you, and you were reminded of Wheezie’s words that night at dinner.

“I mean, sure. You could’ve just been pretending. Clearly, you were, but… You were one hell of an actress, I guess,” she mumbled. “It’s just odd to see you as a couple when the mere sight of him used to make you bristle.”

Confusion tore through you.

“Why would I hate Rafe?”

Why would anyone? It was so hard for you to imagine because he was beyond sweet and patient with you.

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged. “I mean, sure, yeah. A lot of people don’t like Rafe.”

You blinked at that.

“…but it was different with you. He was always different with you, and then one day…you just hated him.”

You looked down at that, mind whirling, and you thought about what Rafe had said about mistakes.

“You never told me what changed. As far as I know, you didn’t tell anyone…except for maybe JJ.”

You looked up at her at that, brows knitting together. There was that name again, JJ, the sound of it touching something so familiar in you.

“I always got the feeling that he knew.”

You repeated the name in your mind, and you recalled that Sarah had mentioned the lack of photos with him. If you and this JJ were as close as she was letting on…,why didn’t you have any pictures with him?

“…but I guess it really was just nothing,” she said with a shrug. “Rafe can be a lot, but he is different with you, so if you’re happy then I’m happy for you.”

That brought you some relief, happy to know that you didn’t wake up having already destroyed a friendship you couldn’t even remember. Sarah still looked unsure, this much you could tell, but she pulled you into a hug anyway.

“How sweet.”

The familiar voice forced you to pull apart, and you looked towards Rafe, finding him leaning against the door. His expression was even as he stared at Sarah, maybe even almost negative before his gaze traveled to you, eyes softening and a slow smile spreading along his lips.

“Having a heart to heart?”

Rafe reached for you without moving, and you moved towards him, taking his hand. Sarah’s gaze was focused on your intertwined hands before she finally replied.

“Y/N was just saying sorry for not telling me about you two before. That’s much more than I got from you, Rafe.”

“My dating life isn’t any of your business,” he replied, and you didn’t miss the chill in his tone.

“It kind of is when it’s one of my friends,” she scoffed.

“Y/n was never just your friend, and you always did hate that.”

You were starting to feel uncomfortable, feeling stuck between them.

“Whatever, Rafe,” she sneered. “Kie, Pope, John B., and JJ are really worried about Y/N.”

You felt Rafe’s hand tighten on yours at that, and you glanced at him. His expression was unreadable.

“They weren’t allowed to see her the entire time she was in the hospital, and they haven’t spoken to her since she got out. They’re coming by to see her tomorrow.”

You didn’t particularly like being talked about as if you weren’t here, but you were much more distracted by the fact that people Rafe said had hurt you were coming by to check on you. Maybe they wanted to make amends? Perhaps they didn’t, but still just wanted to make sure you were alright anyway.

Rafe simply threw Sarah a weak smile, already moving to pull you out of the room.

“Can’t wait,” he sarcastically said.

Your sentiments were less sarcastic, genuinely curious about the group of people who may or may not be your friends.

After you showered, you found yourself going through some more things that you’d brought from your house. It seemed like a bunch of childhood memories, and you chuckled at the mini versions of you that you found. You hadn’t really paid much attention to the things you’d grabbed. Some pictures here and there, a small box or two.

You grabbed one of the boxes, thinking it was empty, when something in it clanged. You had thought that you’d grabbed everything out of it, but upon opening it, you were met with the sight of a necklace. It was simple and black, its only adornment a small shark tooth. You curiously fingered it, holding it up just as a knock sounded on the bedroom door.

You had a feeling that it was Rafe, proven right when you told him to come in.

He too was dressed for bed, it seemed, and like before, you felt your face heating up at the sight of his bare chest. Maybe you had been lying to yourself before. Maybe his attractiveness did intimidate you. Rafe struck you as someone who could belong in those surfing magazines you saw on the coffee table. His dirty blond hair was perfectly messy, still damp from his shower, and the blue of his eyes looked so much brighter in this lighting.

“Hi,” you softly greeted.

His gaze immediately fixated on the necklace in your hand as he shut the door behind him.

“Where’d you find that?” he lowly asked, eyebrows raised.

You chuckled.

“I found it in this box,” you answered, turning the necklace over in your hand to admire it some more.

“It’s just something you bought years ago from some vendor,” he waved off, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Rafe spoke of it like it was just another necklace, but the emotion that bubbled up in your chest at the sight of it made you frown. It clearly meant a lot to you, and so you put it back in the box for safekeeping. You looked up just in time to see Rafe hold up another necklace. It dangled in your face, and the light glinted off of gold metal.

“You lost the original during the accident,” he said, making your eyes meet his. “You never took it off, and so I just wanted to get you another one.”

“Oh,” you breathed, starting to reach for it when he pulled it back.

You got the hint, turning around and watching as he brought his hands down on either side of your face, necklace dangling between them. It was cool against your skin, and the feel of it made you shudder for some reason. When it was clasped, Rafe brought his hands down on your shoulders, kneading the skin in a soothing manner.

You brushed your fingers over the simple R initial.

You could feel Rafe pressing his face into your hair, breathing you in, and you couldn’t help but to lean back into him. His chest grazed your back with the action. His breath was shaky, and when you looked over your shoulder, Rafe lifted his head to meet your eyes. His fingers danced up your neck before gently pressing into your cheeks, his forehead pressing against yours.

“You have no idea…how happy I am…that you’re here with me,” he murmured.

You bit your lip, thinking on Sarah’s words before speaking.

“Sarah said that I hated you.”

Rafe’s jaw ticked at that, and he took a deep breath.

“Before. Was that just pretend or…?”

“There was a point when our friendship was a little rocky, yeah…but everything else?” he eventually whispered, closing his eyes. “That was all pretend.”

When he opened his eyes, the fire you saw there almost scared you. You wish that you felt as strongly about Rafe as he did about you, and you knew that it would come back with time, but it didn’t make you feel any less bad. He traced patterns into your cheeks, almost absentmindedly as he gazed at you, and you knew then that he wanted to kiss you. Badly.

“Everything else was just pretend,” he repeated, fingers dancing over your lips. “I could never hate you.”

His nose brushed over yours, and you could feel how fast your heart was beating. It made your breath short, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned in and pressed your lips just to the corner of his. It made your skin prickle, a shudder traveling down your spine, and when you pulled away, Rafe’s eyes had darkened considerably.

“I’m sorry that I’m not who I was before,” you softly apologized.

“I already told you,” he mumbled. “Don’t be.”

“But you-.”

He cut your words off, a finger pressed to your lips as he shook his head.

“You might not ever get your memories back,” he honestly said, and your heart sank. “…and that’s okay. I’m okay with that because we can always make new ones. We will make new ones.”

Rafe tilted your head down to press his lips to your forehead, and his words made you feel a whole lot better.

The world was spinning and spinning. Blue and orange and brown bled into each other until you were unable to separate them. The water had never felt so cold you before. Cold and rough. It was normally your friend, the one thing in this world you could count on to be on your side, but today it was your enemy.

It tossed you every which way, the strength of the waves working against you instead of with you. Water covered your vision and filled your nose and mouth. You could feel it burning your lungs, and the brief reprieve of air that you got could hardly be called that, the ocean pulling you under moments later.

Your surfboard was nowhere to be found, and you had nothing else to hold onto. To ground yourself with. You could feel the scrape of rocks against your legs, the ocean pushing and pulling you whichever way it pleased. It was so loud that you couldn’t even make out the sound of your heartbeat, and somehow, you just knew that you were going to die.

Relief and dread warred within you at mother nature’s violent display, and even under water, you knew that you were crying. The ocean swallowed your screams, merciless to your desperation to live, to get back to him. Your last conversation, your last fight, brought forth an intensity of feelings that made your chest ache. You were being swallowed by an endless blue, the same shade of eyes that you were desperate to get back to.

Your chest burned when you sat up, nails digging into your skin as you clutched at your sternum. You struggled to catch your breath, and you realized the burning in your chest was because of the raw screams climbing out of your throat. The memory was so vivid, so real that it took you the longest to realize you weren’t under however many feet of water.

You were in Rafe’s home, in the guest room, and you were safe.

Just then the door flew open, and you tearfully looked up at Rafe as he rushed inside. You could see Ward and Sarah worriedly standing on the other side of the door, and the more you blinked, the more tears that fell. You didn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around him, holding him close as he rubbed his hands up and down your back and arms.

“You’re okay,” he breathed, shushing you. “You’re okay, everything’s okay.”

“I was drowning. I was dying,” you sobbed.

“I know, I know,” he soothingly said, tightening his hold on you.

You buried your face into the crook of his neck, and you could faintly hear Rafe saying something as you sobbed into his skin. When you glanced up, Ward was gone, but Sarah lingered for a few moments more before disappearing too.

“I’m sorry,” you tearfully said when he pulled back.

Rafe looked confused, and he frowned at you.

“For the fight,” you explained, watching as his frown deepened. “The fight before…”

You trailed off into a fit of sobs, and Rafe shook his head at you, pulling you into another hug.

“That’s not important. I had already forgot about it when I saw you lying there,” he murmured, playing with your hair and stroking your back.

He laid down on his side, pulling you with him, happy to hold you as you cried.

“I told you,” he said. “We can make new memories. Better ones.”

The rough waves and harsh rocks were still on your mind, and your heart was so low in your gut at just how close to death you had really been. You wanted to forget it, and you pressed your face into his chest.

“Tomorrow…we can go somewhere, just you and me, and we’ll take your mind off of it,” he quietly proposed.

You nodded without hesitation, and Rafe shushed you, assuring you once again that you were okay. It didn’t even occur to you just how intimate the two of you were, and your fear outweighed any discomfort you might’ve felt at having him sleep with you. You couldn’t stop thinking about the faint memories of an argument, a huge fight before you had gone into the water, and the thought that that could’ve been the last time you spoke to Rafe made you shudder.

Rafe didn’t stop touching you, rubbing circles into your back or tracing patterns into your arm. It was comforting, lulling you to sleep, and you forced yourself to focus on the feel of your boyfriend’s heartbeat beneath your head.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Can we please please get more with your Magnetic series! So goodddd

Hi! Sure 😁 I can do little check ins for them! Feel free to send in any requests for anything specific you’d like to see from this pair! In the meantime here's this little thing:)

If you haven’t read the fics you can find them here!

It had been nearly two months since you and Harry got together, but you kept it on the down low because you both expected that his ex would immediately alert the media in one way or another. Only your families and closest friends knew that you were together. You really were just waiting for the other shoe to drop shortly after the break up but it never came.

Harry had been working on an album quietly for a while that was going to be released soon. So Jeffrey and Tommy had also been hoping the news would drop quickly so that it wouldn't impact the press release for his music. When they had run the completed album by the label they decided on a release date for the single and it would be dropping soon so that they could release the full album in time for the Grammy nominations is what Harry was sharing with you at the moment as you got ready for bed.

"-so we're releasing the first single on Friday, the second one at the end of the month and the album in August." he shared as he got his moisturizer on and you hummed in response with a distant gaze. "What?" he asked you and you bit your lip nervously.

"I just have an awful feeling about this, H." you explained and he frown.

"About what?"

"She's waiting for you to do something to talk about the infidelity. She's going to ruin your album drop." you said and he frowned.

"You think so?" he asked with concern and you nodded.

"I think she will. Based on what you told me about how you two left things, I mean...she has a lot of contempt for you. And like...obviously, we made a mistake, there's no escaping that fact. So I think you should prepare for your music release but also for an apology tour." you said and he sighed.

"I don't think I need to address it or defend myself. It's no one's business." he said with a resolute shrug of his shoulders.

"I know it's not, baby. But if it's made public then you owe it to the people who support you to be accountable for your actions, Harry." you said and he sighed before biting on the inside of his cheek pensively. "You're human. You're allowed to make mistakes." you reminded.

"I know that."

"Then what's the problem?"

"What if everyone hates me after that? Like...I don't want to disappoint or hurt anyone."

"Well that's unrealistic." you said simply and he smiled a bit, "And well, at the end of the day those people don't know who you are in here." you said as you placed a palm over his heart. "They don't know how or why you do the things you do or how you think. And honestly, isn't it just more refreshing when people are forthright about their mistakes?"

"Okay, but ummm...what about you? What if everyone turns on you. It's happened before with people I've been with, where they've been villainized for being with me. Especially, if they really liked the person I was with previously." he explained and you smiled.

"Well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. And well, I love you and you love me. We make each other happy. I mean, if things go to shit then...at least we have each other." you shrugged and he smiled.

"Right." he confirmed. "I just need you to know that if things come to that, I need you to know that I don't regret anything. You make me so fucking happy. I love you in ways I never knew were possible and I couldn't ask for a better partner." he said sweetly as he ran his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks.

"I love you so much." you whispered happily.

***************

Just as you thought, the day after Harry had released his first single an "anonymous source" dropped the story to TMZ about how Harry had cheated on his ex-girlfriend with none other than Rob Stringer's niece. Your family and close friends knew about it already but were still rocked by the information going public. Obviously, the information wasn't all that detailed because she didn't know how many times you two had slept together, but because you were pictured at his show in Reggio everyone assumed it had started then. That wasn’t necessarily wrong, but everyone just thought he had been cheating the whole time and it was hard. You could see how it affected him to see what people were thinking of him and especially you. But you just wanted to protect him so badly but it was all out in the open now and there was nothing you could really do about it until he got his chance to address it. You knew he didn't expect you to be strong about it because what some people were saying was rather hurtful, but you wanted to be for him. You were okay though because at the end of everything it was still you and him together and that was all you cared about.

The night before his interview with Zane Lowe, Harry hardly slept a wink. He spent half the night in his home studio where the interview would be taking place until you coaxed him to at least come lay down while you talked through things. You talked with him about all of his fears and concerns, you went through the pre-approved interview questions about the affair portion of your relationship and by the time it was 7am and everyone arrived to set up you had only slept maybe 2 hours, so you were exhausted, but ready to just get this over it.

Zane was the most kind man. He was also very cordial with Harry, they weren't friends per se, but they emailed each other on birthdays and things like that. Harry trusted him; he was intelligent, articulate and genuine. You didn't talk to him all that much as you were fluttering about taking coffee orders to call them in and pick up the breakfast sandwiches you had ordered the day prior. You were just about to grab Jeffrey who agreed to help you. When you approached, the four of them were sitting in your living room discussing Childish Gambino's new album animatedly. You were smiling as you walked up while watching Harry discuss the final track, "Final Church", with Tommy. He was radiating so much passion, it made your heart flutter and you remembered why you were so in love with him. He just loved engaging, feeling, and living. He was so good at being present and was teaching you how to be the same, so immersed in every moment that you couldn't help but be grateful for existing.

Zane just took a moment to just observe as you stood there and admired Harry with literal hearts in your eyes. The second you stopped before him, he immediately turned to look at you with a matching gaze. But more than that, there was an immediate warm and happy feeling that started overtaking the air around you. After a moment of holding each other's gaze Harry's smile had his eyes crinkling as he reached out towards your hand.

"Hiya, angel." he greeting you sweetly and you glanced away timidly, locking eyes with Zane for a second before feeling your face start to heat up before looking back at harry.

"Hi." you peeped out, "Ummm, I've got everyone's order in. We're gonna run and grab the sandwiches and then the coffees." you informed.

"Alright." he nodded as he pushed himself up to stand, "Be safe out there." he mumbled as you hugged and then he pulled back and pecked your lips, "Need you around. Forever." he said through a smile before pecking your lips again.

"Forever." you responded quietly through a smile. Seconds later you and Jeffrey were off.

**************

After everyone had their breakfast it was time to get started. Harry wanted you and his managers in the room for the interview. So you just sat off-camera but still within his view. You could see that he was tense as the camera crew finished getting settled and moments later the director was counting down for them to start.

Harry was completely honest when Zane asked him how he was doing. He said that he was feeling a lot of things through a nervous chuckle. He was happy with his life and his music, but nervous with everything else going on in the media. In an acknowledgement to that, Zane decided to start with the music first. The things that Harry really wanted to talk about and share with his fans. As always, there was excellent conversation revolving the album, as Zane had already gotten to hear it.

"Genuinely, this is some of your most honest work yet." Zane said and Harry smiled a bit and nodded, "And it almost seems like...there's two versions of you writing in here. Almost like a call and response thing." he pointed out and Harry nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose that's a good way to explain it." he chuckled nervously, already knowing where this line of questioning would lead. You watched him as he started to bounce his knee a bit. You wished you could just walk over there and encourage him for a moment.

"Yeah, that's what it seems like to me. But surprisingly it's not necessarily conflicting. It's more like dialoging. Like you're trying to...come to terms with yourself."

"Yeah, I think it was something like that."

"Are you still feeling that now?" he asked and Harry shook his head with a small smile.

"Thankfully, not." he confirmed as he glanced down into his lap. It was odd for him because he was one to hold eye contact all the time, all the way through.

"I think you might know where I'm going with this." Zane said with a smile, "I'm no gossip reporter, but in hearing you bearing your heart like this in your music and then seeing what was apparently going on in the background. It just...makes sense. You know?"

"Yeah." Harry hummed. There was a moment of silence.

"I know there's been some pretty...harsh things thrown around and I can imagine it's hard when you're also trying to celebrate what you've done with this new project..." Harry nodded, "So...How are you?" Zane asked and Harry sighed before biting his lip and glancing up at Zane.

"Can we take a short break?" he asked and Zane nodded.

"Of course." he said and you immediately stood and walked over to him. He stood up and hugged you tight as he exhaled shakily.

"You're alright, baby. S'alright." you hummed. "Hey, look at me." you said and he pulled further back. "I love you."

"Love you." he whispered.

"Just take ownership." You said and he nodded. "You don't have to go into any the details."

"Right." he hummed, "I'm glad it was you." he said and you smiled.

"I love you, H."

"I love you too, angel." he whispered before hugging you close again for a few moments.

"You've got this." you encouraged him with a small smile. "I'll be right over there." you assured and he nodded.

Moments later you were back in your seat and they were getting started again. And Harry shared about how he'd been. How he was just sad over what people were saying about you more than the things about him. But that overall he was feeling happier than he had in a while.

"I think it's always interesting how split people always seem to be. Some people defend your happiness and others kind of villainize you to the extreme." he said and Harry nodded.

"Yeah, that can happen." he said with a sad smile. "Clearly we did a bad thing. I did a bad thing. There's not denying that." he said, "But I can't say it was a mistake. The heart wants what it wants and at the end of the day I had to follow where my heart was taking me." he said and Zane smiled.

"I must say, seeing you with Y/N is very telling. Just in being around you, I can feel the affection for each other oozing from you two." he said and Harry smiled bashfully.

"Yeah...I'm so lucky to have her love me back. She makes me so happy." he smiled as he glanced over to you off camera and you smiled back.

"And how's it been for her?"

"Hard. But she's kept her head up more than I have. She's been really supportive and graceful through all of it." he said with a smile. "It's just sad to see people rip into her as if any of this were solely her fault." Zane nodded at Harry's response.

"There are a lot of people out there right now saying you don't deserve to be happy after hurting someone like that. Do you have any thoughts about that? Do you think you deserve to be as happy as you are?" he asked and Harry sighed before crossing one leg over the other.

"Well... to me, it's not about what I do or don't deserve. The fact is that I get to choose who I love. I'm just a person like everyone else, I can make that decision with or without anyone else's approval. So I'm with Y/N to stay. I'm in this and I couldn't be happier with that decision." he smiled simply before looking over at you off-camera again and you were already returning his smile.

When it was all over Harry felt lighter. You had been right about this interview. As scary as this was for him to say these things on camera, all that mattered was that at the end of everything you had chosen each other and no matter how the general public perceived this, the people that mattered the most knew everything and still showered you with their love and support. They saw every day how your love made you both step into the best versions of yourself and at the end of the day that's what it was all about, finding a partner to grow through life with. And well, you couldn't have asked for a better person to share this all with.

[barrenclan]

Been too afraid to suggest this for a while bc... social anxiety,, so I'm going anon.

Just another music ask!! "The Line" by Vera Sola feels like a very Barrenclan song to me

Oooh, this is a good one, I can definitely see it. A lot of vibes for original RoseClan/early BarrenClan.

She was the first one to go <- Wheatstar I'll be back for you, the final words she spoke He was the second one to leave <- Ladybugstar Whispered, don't you worry

Because time is a warm dark circle Day is returned to the looping of the line Night is only a passing thing We'll be back again when it's right

Fellas, is it gay to feel like this about your boss?

I don't show it but I quiver whenever you come near And I cannot decipher between the thrill and the fear I wanna stop it but like it too much to let it stop here It's wrong but I want you tonight It's not my own volition but I fell in deep By running the distance I've been advised to keep I trot to the wolf as a doting sheep It's wrong but I want you tonight

Rainhaze works with like 50% of songs ever made. He is my most Ashfur-esque character in that way.

There's a scavenger on the wind alone Where he roams in the land of the dust and bones

Nobody wants to be your friend when you're a scavenger on the wind

My mom is an oldschool fan of Laurie Anderson, and I listened to her growing up, so I was quite surprised to see that this song has become viral on TikTok. I highly recommend listening to the whole song, and her others as well.

And I said, "Okay, who is this really?" And the voice said "This is the hand, the hand that takes"

And when justice is gone There's always force And when force is gone There's always Mom, hi Mom

As long as people keep sending me songs, I'll keep doing them.

Maybe it's just a stupid dream I know you'd never change your life to be with me Six hours north in a city by the sea I want you herе right now I want you here with me

If I were closer, would you remember The way I made you feel in September? You said it's too cold in San Francisco But I keep you warm so you'll take me where you go

I am always here for a musical song, especially Into the Woods. Anything witchy character works for Nightberry.

THREE DAYS GRACE MENTIONED! The actual inspiration for the song came from an El Tango de Roxanne lyric, specifically this one:

"You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me And please, believe me when I say I love you"

I like this song a lot too. Cormorantpaw works with any thrash-type music.

I have to ask cause I need something to last Too many times I've been left behind <- ohh... the corm......

Will you love me or leave me forever? Will you love me or leave me forever?

HAH I love it.

Yeah I can see it!

My parents sold me to a preacher Now I miss my mom and dad I heard they joined a cult They say, mass suicidal death I’m locked inside the church They say the prophecy’s foretold

They’ll preach salvation as they tie my limbs And rip out my teeth They’ll soak their daggers In the pigs blood As I beg and I plead

The Garden is actually already on the PATFW playlist! For the reasons which you listed, and I agree with you. :) Never Love An Anchor is also Slugpelt's themesong.

It looks like this one has been suggested before, probably for Rainhaze or Deepdark! I love Saint Motel's music.

Nobody has ever seen his face But fear his smile I heard he'll drink your blood just for the taste

Everybody tends to disagree On just how evil A single human being should ever be And all your bones, they scream for more

[scarletttries]

Posed Perfection (Eddie Munson Request)

Pairing: Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) x F! Reader

Rating: Explicit 

Word Count: 2.7k

Author's Note: Happy almost Valentine's Day lovelies! To celebrate here is my first Eddie fic since I finished my YAIL series! Thank you so much to the anon that sent this exceptionally fun request in, I hope you enjoy it 😄 Thank you for all the support on all my Eddie posts, and feel free to send in new requests any time! 💕

Posed Perfection (Eddie Munson Smut)

"Just one more Eddie, then I'm sure I'll have enough." You asked, tone pleading, hoping your passion for fashion wasn't stretching your best friend's patience too thin. Ever since you'd been gifted a little polaroid camera for your birthday, you'd enlisted Eddie's help in putting a look-book together of your favourite outfits, something he'd been all too happy to help with. 

"Are you sure? It's a really pretty outfit, I wouldn't want you to miss out on any angles." He replied hopefully, his disappointment not as well hidden as he hoped when you shook your head. 

"I'm sure, I don't want to take up any more of our afternoon with my stuff, but I really appreciate your help Eddie." You let your fingertips trail down his arm as you took the photos from his hand, watching his eyes dart involuntarily to place your skin met his. You observed him as he gulped and forced himself to fight back a smile at the slight touch, trying not to get his hopes up that there was anything more than your usual friendly affection behind it. 

Eddie had been your best friend for long enough that you could read his every expression like his inner monologue had subtitles, and you loved every part of the hopeless dork more than you'd been willing to admit to anyone but yourself, but sometimes you couldn't help but what to grip him by the shoulders and shake him for being such an oblivious idiot when it came to girls. More specifically the feelings of one particular girl: you. 

When you'd first started this little photography project, you'd thought it would be the perfect way to test out if your own growing feelings were matched by Eddie's. You started subtly, wearing a slightly lower cut top, then a shorter skirt, noticing the way Eddie's face would flush with colour when you'd bend over slightly for the photos, giving him a glimpse of something that would have him shifting his arms to cover his lap for the rest of the afternoon spent in the trailer together. It wasn't more than a month of photo shoots together that you were sure Eddie's crush on you was more than your own wishful thinking, but no matter how flirty your poses got, or the compliments you paid him, or the little touches you let shower down on his nervous shape, he never once made a move, refusing to step over the invisible line between friend and lover. And so as you pulled together an outfit to take over for your shoot that fateful Saturday, you decided to go with something you were sure he wouldn't be able to resist. 

---

"That's another really great look." Eddie said excitedly as he held open the door to his little bedroom, the slight tremble in his hand as he ushered you inside betraying his confident exterior. You could always tell that before you came over Eddie had tidied up his room for you, a neat space cleared against the wall with his guitar, the perfect backdrop to capture your outfits against. 

"Thanks Eddie, you're always so sweet to me." You teased, the smile that lit up his face at your words a sure sign that this 'friendship' was close to its breaking point. "I've got a couple of outfits I want to capture today if you've got time?" You asked nonchalantly, fishing for confirmation that you weren't going to be interrupted. 

"Yeah, of course, no problem, Wayne's out all day and I've got nothing else going on, so i'm all yours." He replied, the sincerity of his final words clear from his tone. 

"Lucky me." You let a sly smile creep across your cheeks as you struck your first pose, trying position after position to capture the short dress you'd decided to kick off your afternoon with. You watched eagerly as Eddie's gaze trailed up your legs as you leant over his desk for one of the shots, confident you were ready for step two of your plan to short circuit his brain. 

"Think that's enough for this dress?......Eddie?" He snapped back to reality, shaking his head to try and clear away the thoughts of what he really wanted to do with you bent over his table, and trying to recover with a nod. 

"Uuhh, yeah, I think we've got some good ones. You're a real natural at this. Want me to leave while you get changed?" You watched his brow furrow as you shook your head, slipping your dress off your shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. 

"That's okay Eds, this is the outfit I want you to take photos of next." Eddie could almost hear his heart pounding in his chest as he let himself drink in the view; you stood confidently leaning against his poster clad wall in nothing but a matching, black, lace lingerie set, looking like a cross between the magazines carefully hidden under his bed, and a dream he'd had a week ago that made him change his sheets. He was sure he'd never been as awestruck as he was in that moment, both excited to see this much of you and struggling to make eye contact for fear of ruining his friendship with his favourite person. Slowly he raised the camera to eye level, snapping the first shot and watching as the blurred image slowly emerged from the side of it. 

"Sorry sweetheart, that's a little blurry, let me try again." His voice seemed to quiver along with his hands as he tried to snap a clearer picture, fighting to get his breathing under control before he gave himself away. 

"Take your time, like you said, we've got all day. You really are the best for doing this for me." You let your hands trail down your body as you spoke, Eddie capturing the moment and desperately hoping enough blood was left in his brain that he wouldn't pass out from excitement. With every deep breath you watched him struggle to take, you could feel your confidence growing, the sheer devotion in his gaze clear with each little picture he watched develop before placing carefully down on his bed. You could see the way he kept uncomfortable shifting in his stance, his legs crossing awkwardly to hide his reaction to you, and decided you were ready to set your trap, and finally get what you wanted. 

"One second Eddie." You stepped towards him until you were within reach, watching his hands instinctively drawn to your exposed skin before they retreated in cowardice. Eddie's eyes were wide with wonder as you took his hand in yours, pausing for a moment with a soft smile that had his heart doing flips before rotating his arm until his watch was in view. "Is that the time already?" You feigned surprise as you stepped away and pulled your dress back over your curves. " I promised I'd give Robin a call to plan our english project,  is it okay if I just call her from here?" Eddie nodded as you made a show of pointing to the phone on the furthest wall of the trailer, moving to close the bedroom behind you before adding, "It'll probably take us a while to talk through everything, just to warn you," leaving Eddie alone in his room with just his thoughts running wild. 

Finally out of your eyeline Eddie allowed himself to gather up the collection of polaroids scattered across his bed and examine each of them one by one. You were perfection. Every line and light and look was incredible, your smile in the first one so happy and confident and full of affection that Eddie let himself believe that it was for him alone. He pulled the next photo out of the pile and had to fight back the moan that threatened to leave his lips. You were draped over his desk again, this time his view of you only obscured by the small strips of black lace, your mouth slightly open in and your dark gaze full of desire. Eddie's mind was full of thoughts of you staring at him that way, sure it would be exactly what you looked like crawling up his chest with nothing between you, or letting him make you feel amazing with his head between your thighs. Eddie was so caught up in the fantasy in his mind, he'd barely noticed his hand shifting over the straining denim of his jeans, sighing with relief at the friction it provided. 

He glanced back over his shoulder, the door still closed and you deep in conversation, and ignored that voice in his head telling him it was wrong to do this with you so close, that you catching him would ruin everything. He made quick work of pulling his jeans down to his knees, freeing his aching length from his boxers and hissing at the overwhelming sensation as the cold air of his room met his sensitive, glistening tip. He'd been hard for what felt like hours of watching you model for him, another glance at your polaroids making him throb against his grip. He knew he needed to be efficient about this, but at the same time you'd be taking these photos with you when you left this afternoon and this was his one chance to use more than just his imagination to get himself off. He stared at every detail as he worked himself slowly and deliberately, trying not to let his eyes flutter shut for even a second.

You could hear the laboured breathing through the door as you leant gently against the wood, Eddie so fixated on the photographs he didn't notice the shifting light behind him. A certain smug excitement rushed through your veins at catching him in the act, your plan coming together in this perfect moment. 

The soft fluttering sound of your dress hitting the ground again was enough to pull his undivided attention to your shape in the doorway, frantically releasing himself from his grip and cursing the desperate whimper that left his lips at the loss of contant. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry (y/n), I just.." He started to apologise, looking the picture of pathetic as he struggled to tuck himself back in his underwear, balls aching with the pressure he'd built up inside of them, as close to cuming as he was to tears in that moment. His desperate eyes watched you step slowly over to where he stayed seated, lowering yourself on to your knees between his warm thighs as licking your lips as you looked up at him.

"Did you like the photos Eddie?" Your question was so clearly loaded, Eddie didn't know how to answer it without making more of a fool of himself, finally nodding his head in defeat. Settling one hand between his thighs, you ran a finger gently over the length of him through his boxers, watching his hips twitch in response, eyes widening at your actions, "Use your words, and i'll touch you again. Did you like the photos?" Eddie drank in your playful smirk like it might do something to quell the flames building inside of him, finally stuttering,

"I love them....Fuck." He cried out as you let your thumb rub circles on his glistening tip, red raw in its desperation for release. 

"I'm so glad you like them, because they're all yours." You said with a knowing smile, Eddie's brain completely lost as you rose up just enough to place your lips carefully on his. Between the shock of finally tasting your kiss, and the soft strokes your thumb was teasing over his throbbing erection, Eddie's brain was all but empty as he finally kissed you back, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you to straddle his lap, the lace of panties rubbing against him alongside your hand. 

"Oh god (y/n)." He groaned out at the contact, trying to find the words to put to his feelings, but struggling to do anything but moan as you kept up your slow, gentle touches, only making his aching desire for release that much more painful. 

"I know Eddie, you're so good to me, and I promise I'll make you feel good too. So good." You finally wrapped your whole hand around him, feeling his hips shake against yours, but not picking up your pace quite yet. "I could tell you liked being my photographer a little more than you should," as you spoke your free hand interlocked with his, squeezing gently before moving it from your hip to your inner thigh, feeling the electricity flood through your cells as his finger rested inches from where you wanted them most, "why don't you feel just how much I like being your model?" You watched as Eddie turned the words over in his head before finally accepting the invitation and letting his fingers carefully push the thin strip of lace aside, feeling your soaked slit for the first time. The soft moan you let out almost had Eddie spilling in your hand then and there as he ran his fingers through your slick, feeling you shiver with the sensation as he brushed over your clit. His own desperate need for pleasure forgotten, his lips crashed to yours as his fingers strummed over the sensitive bud, the feeling of your thighs shaking against his sending his mind racing, like there was nothing else he ever wanted to do other than make you feel this way. 

"Mm, Eddie." You moaned as dipped his fingers inside you, coating them in your own excitement before bringing them back to your clit with renewed dedication, working to hear his name fall from your lips again, confident he could spend hours doing this unwaveringly, until he had to pin you under him to stop you from squirming away. You could feel the grin spreading across his cheeks at the sound, letting his name fall from your lips again as you felt your hips start to buck against him, the tension inside you building as his fingers kept their unrelenting pace. You finally picked up the pace of the firm strokes of your hand, Eddie's movement faltering for a second as his own aching release seemed to quickly build again. 

"This isn't just a one time thing right?" Eddie stumbled out between moans, pleading eyes looking into yours with desperate longing. 

"It can be an all the time thing if you want Eddie." You reassured, lips meeting his again as his eyes drifted down to your chest, practically bouncing out of your lacey bra as your body shook against his hand, your release coating his hand as the heat inside you reached its pitch. He watched closely as your mouth fell open just like in the polaroid, rubbing you over and over in deliberate strokes, coaxing every drop of pleasure out of you as he fought back his inevitable release. 

"Eddie," you sighed out as you squirmed against his hand, overstimulated but still wanting more as his fingers started to dip inside you, feeling you clench against him as you rode out your high, "you know, once I'm covered in your cum you can take some more pictures." The moment you breathed out those words Eddie was gone, his whole body tensing as he let himself go, spilling himself over your hand and stomach, hips jerking violently at his long overdue release. Thick white lines dripped over your lingerie as you milked out every drop, only letting him go once his eyes blinked open again, still wide in disbelief at the exquisite sight in front of him. 

"Eddie," you whined softly at his still plunging fingers, moving to climb off his lap, but quickly being flipped onto your back, Eddie's hips across your legs ensuring he could keep you right where he wanted. 

"I think we should try that a few more times before I get the camera back out." He said greedily, lips crashing against yours as he brought his thumb to clit, taking your gasp against his kiss as his chance to speak again, "God you really are a model sweetheart." 

[bigalockwood]

Hey hey Lia 💜,

I only just realised that you were doing the fanfic asks, so I am a little late, but I am wondering about 8,17, 18, 27, 29 and 37 ( I know these are a lot of numbers, so feel free to just answer the ones you want to)

Wishing you a so wenig stressig wie möglich weekend!

Sophia thanks for sending so many!! I love talking about writing 💜💜💜

8) Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This took me ages to decide. I'm actually not even proud of it because I think it is necessarily particularly well written, but because it's a topic I have very strong feelings about and it felt so validating when I saw how many people resonated with it!

“No, you misunderstand, they didn’t out me. They just asked me about my sexuality and, you know, it was necessary. It’s the sort of thing they’d have to ask me for damage control.”

“Wille, I get that your life can be sort of strange at times and that it often follows different rules and all that, but that is, by definition, still what it means to be outed. I’m glad it didn’t feel like another violation of your privacy to you, but they still shouldn’t have done that,” Simon said, vehemently.

[...] “I’m sorry. I wished people stopped acting like they have any right to know our sexualities. [....]

17) Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Depends on the story! Royally Whipped I'm mostly writing in order since I don't have much time to write the chapters, so I'll only write down ideas for future scenes. For my new WIP I've written parts of different chapters already. In the chapters themselves I jump around and hardly every write one in chronological order.

18) Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

No. I have a very, very rough outline, but it mostly only has specific scenes or emotional stages I want to write towards. I never keep to any outlines and overthrow them within minutes after making them, so I no longer bother with them lmao.

27) How do you feel about collaborations?

I did one ages ago, when I was still in school. It was a lot of fun and I'd definitely be open for it again, but it certainly takes up more time and you need someone you can trust in.

29) If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Honestly? The answer is none, just because I don't think I could do any of my favorite stories justice. Not because I think my writing is bad, but because I love them as much because of the special something they have thanks to the author who's written them. Wouldn't say no to a sequel or prequel written by them though asfdhsfdkja

37) Talk about your current wips.

I've briefly talked about my next projects here. But my BIG WIP's right now are Royally Whipped which is very close to being done (probably two more chapters) and then #Simon's revenge.

Some people have been asking for a social media chapter for RW, which is extremely flattering, and I love reading those, but don't even know how to begin putting one together. So, that might happen, if I ever get my shit together (or someone else volunteers to do it ahsjfdasj).

Simon's renevge is a AU where Wille isn't Prince (still rich tho) and meets Simon under... interesting circumstances. Simon is seeking revenge on someone else and poor Wille becomes emotional collateral damage. It'll be less fluffy than RW, though hopefully just as fun. It's very gremlin!simon (channelling all his dodgeball energy). I have a moodboard that I might post soon and maybe some snippets leading up to it's release, if anyone's interested.

[coldflash-corner]

Worldbuilding/Etc: My Soulmate AU [1]

-My asks are open, so feel free to send asks if you want me to make a post abt something specific in this AU, whether mentioned in this post or otherwise

-In a reincarnation scenario, soulmates can change. In the case of Kendra and Carter, theirs have never changed before, so in most lives they believed that theirs could never actually change. This is wrong. Kendra's soulmate is not Carter Hall

-Connected to above: It is so extremely rare that people don't even think it's possible in some areas, but sometimes someone can have a soulmate but not be their soulmate. Which can be an interesting time for everyone involved, especially if there are romantic feelings in the mix

-Mick Rory does not currently have a soulmate, and has no memories of every having one. He has oft thought fire to be his soulmate, in a way, because watching the flames makes him feel warm, like there are flames under his skin

-^^in a synesthesia way not a horny way. Please do not be weird about the fire, I'm just a little guy (/lh)

-People can sometimes get a new soulmate after theirs died, but it's not overly common in the mortal communities. Much more common in the immortal circles

-Soulmates of time travelers can use heartbeat and what they know of their partner to figure out if they're talking to the version of their partner who is synced with their part of the timeline, or if they're from the past/future

-Having multiple soulmates simultaneously is possible, and can make some things confusing/fun

-Iris and Eddie are soulmates, but they took forever to tell each other their suspicions bc they didn't want to look like they were moving too fast or pressuring the other into anything

-The author of this AU keeps trying to give Barry 2 platonic soulmates on top of his soulmateship with Snart, but is actively choosing not to even when their brain is pouting about it

-Caitlin's soulmate is Ronnie Raymond. She's had... a time.

-Lisa had a soulmate, who she met when she was fifteen and they were dating until she was 16. This was another girl her same age, who lived in her neighborhood. Unfortunately, she died when they were 16, and Lisa took a while to come even close to recovering from that

-Lisa is especially attracted to Cisco because she thinks he also does not have a soulmate. He... technically does... but they aren't together right now and there doesn't seem to be any future plans of them being together, so he has forced the possibility out of his mind and pretends he doesn't have one

-Mark and Clyde Mardon are an example of platonic soulmates who are siblings

-Joe's soulmate was not his wife and he knows who they are, but he firmly Does Not Talk About Them. Iris and Barry both firmly know that topic is Completely Off Limits and never bring it up

-Hartley hasn't knowingly met his soulmate yet. They're still alive! So maybe one day they'll meet

-Fun Fact: Hartley once thought that his soulmate might be Dr. Wells, because the man seemed to have an eerie ability to track his emotions, but eventually realized that was wishful thinking and that this was definitely not the case

-Barry knew he and Snart were soulmates before Snart knew Barry Allen was the Flash. He didn't know how to approach this, so this led to him just turning Golden Retriever energy to 11 and hoping for the best

-Time travel and dramatically changed timelines can alter soulmate connections ^-^

-People are more likely to be soulmates with people in their general region than otherwise, but it is rarely possible to have a soulmate across the world

-There are "Find My Soulmate" apps where people can be like "Hey I had a panic attack at this time and it lasted for x minutes, did anyone feel that?" or "Hi! I play soccer, has anyone had elevated soulmate heart rate consistently on these days and times as if said soulmate is engaging in physical activity?" and other such things

-Sometimes when a person on a sports team meets a person through those apps who almost CERTAINLY is soulmates with a member of their sports team, they all run experiments together to make sure it's the right one

-If a time or dimension traveler without a soulmate time/dimension travels, there is a small chance they can become soulmates with a non-soulmate-haver in the area. Which can make things fun and spicy for everyone involved!

-Eobard Thawne had a soulmate in his future, but he killed them because the bitch got ISSUUEESS

-^^He was always on the lookout for that telltale heartbeat, in case the time travel fuckery gave him a new soulmate. It never did. But there was someone that he had wished, for sometime, that he would be given that connection with. It's so much better for the other person that it never did. (It couldn't have, really, bc their soulmate was still alive technically, but it's Really Good that it didn't nonetheless)

-Joe had really really wanted Iris and Barry to be soulmates, ever since they were little kids. And he didn't completely handle it well when he learned, without a shadow of a doubt, that they were not.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

Concept: Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Tags: @wraith--2 @lunarthecorvus @just2bubbly @real-fragments7 @ethereal-maia @cartoon-clifford @origami-butterfly

Content Warnings: in more general terms I want to remind people to be aware of the nature of Kaz and Inej's experiences and relationship since even if I'm not directly addressing these things they tend to be implicit in any writing about them, but specifically to this chapter there's discussions of intended murder (not graphic), ptsd, and illness from the result of drugs (implied to be rohypnol or similar).

Chapter 8 - Inej

Inej felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest when Aimee woke up. The girl was clearly ill and floating somewhere between the world of consciousness and dreams, but she was alive. Saints, she was alive. Inej could have cried.

She helped her to her feet and let her lean on her as Fiona stood and stretched.

“Are you a knight?” Aimee whispered

Fiona smiled as Inej raised her eyebrows slightly, but said nothing. She had no idea how to reply.

“Do you want some water?”

“Yes… please,”

Aimee’s breathing was heavy in between her words and her voice was a little raspy, but once she was sitting at the table with her water and Inej had quietly explained that they had left the Tulip Mill behind, she seemed a little better. She looked at Kiada.

“Can you say something so I know it’s true?”

The Zemeni girl paused for a moment, then said:

“The monster’s gone,”

Aimee nodded, though her eyelids were already dropping again.

“Is it dead?” she murmured, swaying slightly.

Then her head dropped towards the table and Kiada cried out in surprise as Inej’s arms shot out to keep Aimee’s forehead from slamming into the wood. Inej pulled Aimee back gently, as Fiona hurried across the room and began to check the girl’s pulse. From the corner of her eye, Inej saw Kiada draw her knees to her chest and put her hands over her ears.

“She’s okay,” said Fiona, “I think it’s just fatigue. Let her sleep for a while,”

She and Inej carried Aimee the few feet back to the sleeping mats and lay a blanket over her almost bare limbs.

“You need to sleep as well, Fiona,”

“So do you,”

Inej smiled.

“Don’t worry about me. Get back to the Wraith - I told them not to dock but there should be a few longboats in the harbour. Update the others on how the girls are doing, then get some rest. I’ll send a messenger if I need you,”

Fiona nodded.

“Saints speed,” she said to Inej, who echoed the words she knew were said for her benefit alone.

Fiona had given up on Djel, the god she was raised with, and had no interest in taking up another.

“Would you like some breakfast?” Inej asked Kiada, “I have porridge. You can watch me make it, or we can do it together, if it makes you feel more comfortable,”

Kiada nodded.

The pair stood over the little stove, Inej calmly explaining everything she did and offering Kiada the opportunity to do anything herself if she so wished.

“Tell me about Weddle,” said Inej, handing the younger girl a wooden spoon.

“There’s little to say,” she replied, “I have no parents, no siblings. I lived at an orphanage all my life,”

“Can I ask how you came to Ketterdam?”

Kiada stiffened almost imperceptibly and Inej wondered if she’d pushed too soon, but she said:

“I ran away. I… I was foolish, and I ran away,”

“To Kerch?”

“To a port town, I don’t even know what it was called. I… I ended up on a boat to Ketterdam, not knowing where I was,”

Images flashed through Inej’s mind.

“Did you speak Kerch?”

“No,”

Inej took three bowls from the cupboard and laid them out on the table. She had to speak to Maya, she knew she did. She couldn’t bare to.

“I couldn’t read it,” Inej said, “My contract was in Kerch,”

Maya deserved the truth. The Crow Club book was tucked into Inej’s jacket; dead weight pressing against her every time she moved.

“Kiada, do you want to go back to Novyi Zem?”

There was silence for a moment, then:

“One day. Not yet. I’m not… not yet,”

Inej knocked on the door, and listened for a moment. When Maya had called her earlier that night, she’d been tear-soaked on the verge of collapse. Inej had held her hair back as she threw up, and as soon as she was aware of it the girl had cried out and pulled away from Inej’s touch. But now, as she cautiously opened the door, Maya seemed far more in control.

“Fiona’s gone,” Inej told her, “And Aimee’s going to be okay. But I need to talk to you about something,”

Maya stepped back to let Inej into the little room, and with the girl’s permission Inej pushed the door shut.

“I got you something,” Inej pulled the paper bag from her pocket and held it out, “Semla, with almond paste,”

She’d bought it at a bakery on her way back from the Slat. Maya stared at her for a moment, then took the bag.

“Thank you,”

“I hope it’s okay, they said it was made using an authentic Fjerdan recipe but the Kerch have a habit of claiming things like that whether it’s true or not,”

Maya smiled a little. Inej’s heart was going to break.

“I also have some news,”

Maya’s brow furrowed.

“I think you should sit down, Maya, this might not be an easy thing to talk about. But it’s important that we do,”

Maya sat, eyeing Inej suspiciously. Inej sat opposite her, the spindly wooden chairs barely able to fit into the space.

“I’ve started looking into Kaz Brekker for you, and his connection to your father. And I’ve found something… important,”

“Already?”

Inej heard the blood rushing in her ears as Maya adjusted herself, eyes shining eagerly.

“I still don’t think that killing him is the right course, Maya. But I want to help you any other way I can,”

There was a look in Maya’s eyes that Inej knew, because she had seen it a thousand times before. It was one that said there was nothing else, no other way. Only the Reaper’s Barge.

“Brekker runs a gang called the Dregs, and I managed to get access to some of their records,”

Maya nodded, slowly.

Oh Saints, thought Inej. She couldn’t do it. Not all at once.

“They said they got information from a girl at the Tulip Mill, and since you told me-”

Maya gasped, clapping her hands to her mouth.

“No…” she shook her head, “No, no…”

“The man who used to pay you for information, do you know his name?”

Maya was shivering, and even though she felt terrible Inej knew she’d done the right thing. If Maya wasn’t ready for this then there was no chance she was ready to read the financial records sitting in Inej’s pocket.

“He never told what he did with it… he… oh, Djel, Celina… It was for Brekker, the whole time?”

“Your information helped support the Dregs,” said Inej, tentatively, “And it will have helped Brekker make more money. I’m sorry Maya, but I thought you deserved the truth,”

I’m a terrible person.

“But I… I’m going to kill him,”

“Maya-”

“I can’t believe… I… what’s that?”

“What -? Oh,” Inej looked down and realised she’d been twisting her ring again, “It’s my wedding ring,”

Maya nodded, blinking.

“Right… sorry, I just… oh Djel, what have I done?”

She buried her face in her palms. Inej wanted to comfort her but she didn’t know how.

“Maya, nothing that’s happened is your fault, it’s -”

“No,” she whispered, voice hardening, “No, it’s his fault. All over again. Me, Celina. Nothing is enough for him. Nothing I can ever do to him will be enough,”

Inej swallowed. She had no idea what she was supposed to say.

“Listen to me, Maya, there has to a way for you find peace without-”

“No!” Maya was on her feet now, pacing, “He has to pay for what he did. He… he…”

Saints, she had to do it. She had to.

“Maya-”

“Stop trying to calm me down,”

“Maya, listen to me-”

“I don’t want to calm down!”

“Maya-”

“Stop-”

“Kaz isn’t guilty!”

Maya stopped pacing. She turned to Inej slowly, hands shaking.

“What?” her voice was barely audible.

Inej took the book from her pocket, but she didn’t open it yet. One step at a time.

“Your father did owe Kaz money,” she began as Maya returned to her seat once more, “A lot of it. He lost a lot of money in a gambling den the Dregs own; the Crow Club. Do you recognise the name?”

Maya shook her head.

“Your father lost a lot of money, and then he started borrowing large amounts from the gang as well. The debt just kept getting worse. And when Kaz refused to extend him further credit until he paid back the money he’d already borrowed, he told him that he had an easy way of getting him the money. Kaz didn’t approve of it. He… well, here,”

Inej handed the book over, opening it to the bookmarked page. She watched Maya’s eyes fall across the words and waited. Inej had no idea how she was going to react. Saint, how was anyone supposed to react?