#and at the party the thieves meet all his family aka sees

[princekirijo]

Consider: Yuna and Ren bonding over their knife collections

I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH AND TBH I'VE BEEN CONSIDERING IT SO HARD!!! It's actually the reason I imagine that out of all Riku's friends, it's Ren and Futaba she gets on best with.

I really like the idea of them swapping knives and Ren likes to listen to Yuna ramble about the various different knives in her collection :]. I don't plan on doing this in Captain BUT if Yuna did have a confidant her benefits would probably be centered around Joker's knives, like she teaches him different tricks with them.

[bistevethor]

Steve Rogers Fanfiction Recommendations

Happy birthday, Steve!

I know that there are some (a lot?) of steve fans who sometimes struggle to find fics focused on him, so I am here now putting a list of Steve fics. I was going to fics that I haven't seen recommended a lot and most of the ones on this post have less than 200 kudos only, but I end up putting everything (it's probably easier to put my bookmarks as public but well...). It's a massive list (over 100 fics?), so it's will be separated into several posts/reblogs.

Not all of them are from Steve's POV or even have him as the main 'main' character, but rest assured he played an important role and is featured heavily. Lots of these are friendship-focused but I categorized them. The shippy ones are mostly samsteve, thundershield, and some rare pairings because I don't venture to other ships a lot and when I did it's to the rare ones instead lol. Hopefully, any of you can find some gems from this list and these are as enjoyable or as good as I remembered. I'll continue to update it, hopefully, every time I find new ones.

Fics are under read more.

General

The Rocket's Red Glare

Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order! Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head. Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it. And screaming goats.

an entry in the scrapbook of absurdity

In which Steve turns into a baby and bites people.

Baby Steve Adventures

Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't)

"Dragr," Thor called them. "Demons" Clint had said. "Thieves" is what Steve labels them as. AKA, the one where Steve is captured by creatures that feed off of happy memories, and the team is left to pick up the pieces. Post-Avengers.

In Search of (Bucky, Family, Home)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

A week following the events of CATWS, Steve recruits Natasha and Sam to help find Bucky.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Do we need to recap again? You were shot three times, beaten near to death by an enhanced super soldier with a metal arm and then almost drowned. Yeah, your ass is going to need a few more days of healing time.”

The Truth When Captains Meet

Steve Rogers wakes up on an alien’s space ship being carried bridal style by Carol Danvers. As far as first meetings go, it’s memorable.

Irish Coffee

Pairings: Jessica Jones & Steve Rogers

Jessica runs into an incognito Cap at a cafe. They form an unlikely friendship of sorts.

The Lifetimes of Steve Rogers (Series)

What happens when Steve Rogers steps onto the quantum platform to return the Stones? Where does he go? What challenges does he find? Who does he meet? How many lifetimes can one man have?

Fifty-Two Pickup

Less than a week after the fall of the Triskelion, Steve Rogers is released from the hospital. Although his physical wounds are almost fully healed, other injuries need a bit more time, and some help from friends.

little kids get big so fast

Steve ends up having to take care of the deaged Defenders.

Grampa Steve's Bedtime Stories

If Mommy was away for work, then Morgan’s Grampa Steve came over to stay with her. He’d tuck her in, let her give Mommy a kiss on video chat, then hand her the picture of Daddy for his kiss. Once Daddy’s picture was back on the bookshelf, Grampa Steve would turn off the bedside lamp so that Miss Friday could cover the ceiling with stars, and ask Morgan what story she wanted to hear.

“Captain Steve, Grampa! Tell me Captain Steve!”

Grampa Steve sometimes read to her from books and other times watched a movie with her, but her favorite by far was when he told her Captain Steve’s Adventures Through the Multiverse.

On Camping Trips

Sam is more Hermione than Natasha is, and Steve doesn't want to be Harry.

Powerful

Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

His Dream

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As if on cue, Steve cut him off with a loud sneeze.

"Yeah. Like that." Sam nodded. "And please sneeze into your elbow next time, dude. You could've just started an epidemic."

"Sorry. Allergies." Steve excused, and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's allergies?" Sam asked, and Steve sighed, putting the ingredients together and solving the mystery of what the gas had actually done.

The answer wasn't ideal. "It feels like the seasonal allergies I had before. Before the serum- and I haven't had them since the serum."

Realization clicked in Sam's head.

"The gas de-serumed you."

Steve swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

OR: Steve gets temporarily de-serumed, with his height and stature staying the same but his immune system being as bad as it was before, and has to stay in the hospital to prevent a severe allergic reaction or illness. Sam stays with him the whole time, making sure he's not alone.

A Strange Encounter

Things have gone awry and Strange is injured. With no other options, he's called for assistance from Captain America and his team.

even if we're apart, i'll always be with you

Steve finds a dirty toy bear at an abandoned gas station, on the way back from a school trip. He brings him home.

As Long as You’re Not Tired Yet of Talking

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

When Steve Rogers tells her, “Don’t be a stranger,” as they’re all going their own ways after New York, it makes her want to laugh.

Draw/Breath

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Natasha like knowing what makes people tick. She likes knowing things, about her teammates and her coworkers and herself. Oddly enough, sometimes other people like knowing her too.

AKA: Natasha wants to know why Steve isn’t drawing anymore, and takes the long way round to get her answer. Because why not.

With Magic We Do Fly

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

In Civil War we see Wanda fling Steve into the air with her magic. They must have practiced that, right?

Que Wanda throwing Steve against a wall. Many times.

Just Like We Practiced

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

Steve had said, in the movie when he asked Wanda to lift him into the building, "Just like we practiced." But just how did they come up with the idea of her lifting people with her powers, and putting them up somewhere like an escalator? Perhaps it was because Wanda accidentally sent a certain tall, blond Avenger face-first into the floor once and he decided he would help her learn to utilize this as a confidence building exercise. Natasha keeps an eye, Thor and Sam help build the training grounds, and Wanda has found her new home. Takes place between AGE OF ULTRON and CIVIL WAR.

Black and White but Red and Blue

They're watching black and white film reels, but Steve sees them in colour.

"My shield may be black and white but it was red and blue. Just like the blue sky under which red blood was spilled. Like Bucky's blue eyes and Peggy's red lips..."

The Road Warriors

Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff

It wasn't pretty, but somehow the four of them managed to make it through two years on the run.

We'll Fix It

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Steve has a hard time after his battle with The Winter Soldier and isn't sure what to do with himself. After not seeing him for a week, Natasha finally shows up to his apartment unannounced to figure out how they can get back to work. There is some crying involved.

From Here On Out

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

The Accords, the search for Bucky, the fight at the airport ... In a world where nothing will ever be the same, sometimes the road to rebuilding trust and friendship is a little rockier than it should be.

AKA, the story of Steve & Natasha and how they got to where they are.

Set post-Civil War but pre-Infinity War.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

Parings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision

Steve finally goes to Wanda’s tiny room and taps on the doorframe, although it’s hardly necessary, with the slightly warped floorboards creaking under his feet. “Hey,” he says. “Got a minute?”

Wanda's been a little withdrawn since Steve broke everyone out of the Raft. She's had a lot to think about.

to you.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark

It's Wanda's birthday today. She's not sure how to feel.

New Love

Pairings: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Steve Rogers

Near the end of World War II, Diana Prince finds herself attempting to reconnect to her long-gone, beloved Steve Trevor. However, she comes across Steve Rogers instead.

Sharing Life (And Canned Green Beans)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

It’s Thanksgiving, and Steve is hiding in the second living room on the 8th floor of the penthouse apartments with a can of green beans.

I'm Fine

Steve slowly began to realize that the problem with being a national icon, a hero, and a role model, is that somehow, he became more than human. He become a symbol, not a person. So when he becomes increasingly unhappy, deeply depressed, and utterly adrift in a world where he doesn't belong, the loneliness and isolation are unbearable. How could anyone believe that an iconic hero like himself was really just an ordinary kid from Brooklyn, dying inside because everything he'd gained still wasn't enough to replace everything he'd lost? How could he possibly bring himself to bleed on the ones he loves? So he tells himself the same lie over and over, hoping one day, he'll believe it.

dogpile

"My dog ate my mission report" An injured Steve remembers something he has to do. Unabashed Steve and dogs fluff. "Didn't peg you for a pet guy." "Allergies."

Alone In This World (Together)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

“We’re fugitives,” Steve said finally. “It might never get better.”

“The world’s always going to need saving," Sam replied. "We’re still Avengers. No one can take that away from us.” Then, like they hadn't been having an entire conversation before, “So when do we leave?”

“Once night falls.”

Do we have any idea where she is?”

“No.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “But I know where she’ll be.”

it gets the worst at night

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Here's how it goes: Natasha sometimes shares a bed with Steve. It's not what it sounds like.

(In which there are Colombian drug lords, awkward boners, cuddly super-soldiers and the Avengers are all giant dorks.)

Shelter

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Sam and Steve, right after the fall of SHIELD.

Princely Bickering

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Jane Foster, Steve Rogers & Thor

Steve allows Sam to lean up and inspect his head for bruises and blood. He then checks out Steve’s eyes. ‘Do you know where you are?’ Steve rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t be an ass, Cap, apparently you can break.’ ‘London, England, chasing apparently useless Hydra intel despite having about five hundred international arrest warrants out for us because we’re just that stupid,’ says Steve. Sam pats him - gently - on the shoulder. Life on the run isn't easy, especially not after an injury. Fortunately Steve still has a few allies left.

And The Seconds Tick Down

AU of Civil War. How the world ended in twenty steps when Steve died.

"Grant" and "Francis" Go Shopping

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve and Clint both have holiday shopping to do for their family of choice, so they make a day trip to an outlet mall, have a few heart to hearts, use some coupons, buy a bunch of presents, and eventually get through their shopping lists.

A Tune Without Words

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As he and Sam prepare to begin searching for Bucky, Steve gets various offers of help—some more unexpected than others.

Purpose

Tony Stark wins the fight in Siberia completely by accident.

Steve Rogers does not resist his arrest as he is taken to the Raft.

Sam Wilson, T'Challa, and Pepper Potts pick up the pieces.

Full of Wounds and Still Standing on my Feet

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

The five times Steve looked out for Wanda, and one time Wanda decided someone needed to look out for Steve.

Three Awakenings

The first three times that Steve Rogers woke up during his first twenty-four hours in the twenty-first century.

Making Your Own Future

Characters: Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Steve Trevor Five times -- plus one -- that Diana Prince and Steve Rogers encountered one another.

Better Living Through Pizza

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve takes some time off from soldiering and Avengering to get his head on straight, and Clint is assigned to keep an eye on him, because apparently SHIELD believes in the blind leading the blind. Steve really needs a hobby, since modern television shows baffle him, but Clint keeps bringing him DVDs and pizza.

Five Times Clint Barton Spoke with Steve Rogers about Growing Old and the One Time He Didn't.

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

When Steve Rogers reappeared from the past as an old man, there was a lot of catching up to do. Clint Barton made sure nobody got left behind.

Hammer's Totally Heavy-Handed and Incompetent Revenge

"So, at the end of IM2, Justin Hammer swears revenge on Pepper. He waits until Tony and Rhodey are halfway across the world to launch his attack.

Unfortunately for him, thanks to SHIELD, Iron Man and War Machine aren't the only superheroes in Pepper's rolladex. Steve thinks Pepper's just swell and doesn't take too kindly to somebody trying to hurt her."

Cue badass!Steve and competent!Pepper

Fan Mail

Steve starts getting his fan mail and receives an invitation to the prom. Written for a prompt at the Avengers kink meme. It was a great prompt, and so much fun to write and get feedback for!

Prom. Steve 'Grandpa Iceberg' Rogers at a 21st-century high school prom. "This isn't happening. This whole conversation is just an elaborate practical joke. Bruce really just has orders for widgets or something."

Bruce waved the printouts at him. "Fraid not. I don't really do practical jokes. Messing with other people's moods just seems. I don't know. Karmically unwise."

Mascot

Steve runs. People see Steve run. Steve gets adopted by the neighbourhood he runs through every week day morning. He finds this confusing. Tony finds it amusing.

Locks Not Replaced

Tony angsts back at Avengers' HQ, Ross is a bully and Steve makes sure he doesn't get away with it. In other words, there is much regret, a bit on the philosophy of locks, adventure and far too many Robin Hood metaphors.

woof

For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

Mission: Baby

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

The Asset finds himself in charge of the care of a small baby, but somehow he knows—he has to protect the baby from all harm, whatever the cost.

14 Tracks

Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team 14 tracks from Steve's iPod and how they got on there.

Life Will Rattle Your Bones

Pairings: Erik Lehnsherr & Steve Rogers

Captain America and the Howling Commandos find Schmidt sooner than they thought... wait, what do you mean this is a *different* Schmidt?

In war-torn Germany, the paths of Steve Rogers and Erik Lehnsherr cross, part, and cross again.

come build me up

Pairings: Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“Do you ever feel like -- like you joined up because you wanted to do good. You wanted to do the right thing but somewhere along the way, you just lost the whole fucking plot.”

“All of the time.”

Or: the one where Captain America and Agent 13 give long distance friendship a whirl.

Down in the Worn Out Place Again

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

“You don't look a day over 85, Captain,” Wanda says.

Natasha smiles, just barely, and nudges Steve with her elbow. “She makes jokes now.”

(Post AoU, stories about friendship.)

Satellites

Characters: Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Nick Fury Pairings: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

In the immediate aftermath of SHIELD's collapse and Steve's plunge into the Potomac, Natasha considers her place in the world. Also the fact that Steve is depressing.

Timeless Classics

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Avengers Team Five An undetermined number of times (six, apparently) Steve unexpectedly got the reference (sort of), and one time everyone discovered something new together.

you just wait and see

Pairings: Rocket Raccoon & Steve Rogers

“Thor said you’re the captain.” Rogers says, his voice distant, sad smile growing into a sadder grin. “Tough job.”

The Small Hours

Pairings: Steve Rogers & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

"I'm not getting him back, am I." The words were flatly delivered – not a question so much as fatigued resignation. "We will do everything we can to help him," T'Challa quietly replied, but he wouldn't lie, not about this. Not to a fellow warrior he respected on and off the field of battle. "The possibility does exist, however, that the triggers are permanent."

The Man We All Remember From the Newsreels

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

we're all choir boys at best

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

You are totally getting laid tonight. "Please stop talking." You hijacked my brain first, this is totally not my fault.

Epistaxis

Steve doesn't worry the first time he gets a bloody nose that won't quit. But when it happens a second, third, fourth... He, and his teammates, start to get concerned.

You Close Your Eyes and the Glory Fades

His body isn’t his own, he knows that, knew before the procedure that everything would change. That was the easiest thing to wrap his head around, actually, the physical changes. He’s used to his body betraying him, so this is just another thing to learn his way around. But the colors of everything, even the sliver of blue sky he could see, craning his head at the tiny window, look different.

Looking For Answers (From The Great Beyond)

After the Battle of New York is over, and Loki and the tesseract are returned to Asgard, Steve takes a road trip across the country, and tries to figure out what he wants to do next.

Mourning the Future

Steve's ties to the past and the future are pretty tenuous, and the serum ensures he lives in an eternal present state of ever-youthful vigour. When an old war buddy gets handed his last marching orders, Steve has to wonder if everyone will eventually leave.

Riviera Life

Sam and Steve have been traversing Europe looking for Bucky. Not everyone is convinced it isn’t an open invitation road trip.

Voluntary Bros.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

"Dude, you could be twins, they tested you before they defrosted you to see if you were a clone or something, or if he was a clone," Clint said.

"I want to talk to him, I think. I mean, a girl threw her latte at me last week for not calling her back and this dude felt me up at an art gallery yesterday," Steve said.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

Pairings: Miles Morales & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

Battle Fatigue

Steve thought he was doing okay. Things weren't going great, but they were fine, manageable even, and then suddenly they weren't.

We Become New Yorkers (or: Five Times Steve Rogers Looked For Home, and One Time Home Found Him)

New York is a million cities at the same time. This is how Steve found his.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

In which Steve and Peter learn that the best way to get through a bad situation is together. And to avoid collapsing buildings. And that concussions are terrible, terrible things.

Leviticus 25

"You want to save Bucky Barnes? You are going to have to put your own house in order first because he is going to need a rock to cling to. You are not ready to be that rock for him. You owe it to him -- and more importantly, you owe it to yourself -- to figure things out, figure out how you can be happy in this time and place, whether or not Barnes is with you."

Strike

Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

Conversation in Wakanda

“I have been told that you had the privilege to share a training session with some of our Dora Milaje,” T’Challa says. “May I ask how it went?”

“Well,” the Captain huffs. “There’s no polite way to say it: I had my ass handed to me. Repeatedly.”

He sounds and looks utterly delighted.

Contact Light

Everyone thought computers would be the thing that really blew Steve's mind about the 21st century. They were wrong. When he finds out that he missed the moon landing, it's the start of an ongoing obsession with space that maybe involves Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter, and Star Trek marathons.

Twenty-Two

“This is Lucky,” Clint said when a dog got between him and Natasha. Lucky’s vest was bright, like desert mornings and night explosions.

“Does he help?” Natasha asked.

Clint pressed his hands flat on the counter behind him. “He saved my life.”

Natasha looked at Steve, her expression fierce. Steve resisted the urge to yank down his sleeves. Instead, he dug his nails into the puckered skin on his forearms.

AKA An AU in which Steve is a veteran just trying to survive (or not).

Gray

Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school. He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.

We're Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.

"Tony isn't sure, but he *thinks* Steve Rogers is going to try and argue with him about not being a kid, while wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and plaid pyjama pants watching a Disney movie. Tony really hopes that is the case. The Captain America voice looses all affect when wrapped up in that blanket and Tony can't wait to inform him as such." - The one where Tony realises that Captain America and Steve Rogers are not the same person, and Steve is so much younger then he thought.

This Isn't A Love Song, This Isn't A Fable

Steve's not OK with people's perception of Captain America, no matter what he says or how much he pretends otherwise. It's like no one in this time period realizes that there's more to him than a spangly outfit. And yes, he's including the Avengers in that. ... or, the one where everything's all right, until it's not.

it's safe here in our new world

Post TWS. In which Natasha and Steve go shopping, have Thursday night movie nights, and learn that Natasha loves to platonically kiss Steve. Which is good, because Steve loves being platonically kissed by Natasha.

Shadowboxing

Pairings: Matt Murdock & Steve Rogers

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall – what matters most is how many times you get back up. Steve Rogers knew this lesson far too well and it was one Matt Murdock had endured all his life. With both men at their lowest, could a chance friendship bring each of them to their feet again?

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Sam says, gesturing with Steve with his spatula.

i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.

Status Quo Ante

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

A tale in which Sam suspects he should be used to this by now, for values of 'this' that involve certain folks he hangs out with and situations he finds himself in, Team Cap becomes Team Ex-Cap becomes TBD, and nobody but Clint really wants to know what happened to Scott Lang's GI Joes. (Sam Wilson from the final scene to the mid-credits scene.)

The Glass Parade

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

Steve thinks that he’s seen Natasha be at least three different people in the short time he’s known her, and he isn’t sure which one is real.

In which the most confusing part of the future is how much Steve has in common with Natasha, and the fact that she seems dead-set on being his friend.

Still Life

Steve Rogers and a very modern form of art therapy. (The one where Steve draws himself out of despair and into some notoriety when his cartoons hit the internet, but he's still not allowed to look at Tumblr without an okay from Pepper.)

Selective Service

The serum's given Steve a lot, but it hasn't taken anything away from him. Not even the things he never wanted in the first place.

I'm a Hustler, Baby

Steve Rogers has a talent for pool--and for making others believe he's terrible at it.

The Healing Properties of Felt-Tip Pens

Rapid healing has worked wonders on Steve Rogers' body, but occasionally it really screws with his head. In the aftermath of torture, Bruce Banner helps Steve to reconcile mind and body.

If I Die Before I Wake

It's his job, as their leader, to endure the sadistic focus of their captor, and that is the one thought that carries Steve through.

Even Gods Do

Captain America doesn't have a good relationship with sleep anymore. Also, he's not a toy.

Under My Skin

Written for a prompt on avengerkink: I want to see something where, for whatever reason, Steve's accelerated healing turns out to be a bad thing. Something where the faster healing is making things worse. I would prefer something other than the standard, super-healing allows for more torture without death. “He's lucky – to have the serum, to have you all.” Tony wasn't sure about that first part. When one faced death and destruction every day on the job, there were many advantages to having a healing factor...and a great many disadvantages as well.

A Glossary of the 21st Century

Pairings: pre-Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Steve's sick of not understanding what's going on, and the team are not all that helpful, so he starts keeping an illustrated notebook for further research. With the help of wiki, google and Logan he starts to settle in and find his place in the twenty-first century.

Blanket Gift Policy

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, with no real hope of being contradicted. Clint shrugged helplessly and passed him the large, soft bundle wrapped in shiny purple foil.

“Sorry.” Tony covered his eyes with one hand.

“I’m getting a migraine.”

“So,” Bruce said wearily, “counting Clint, me, Bucky, Tony, and Sam, that brings it up to five.”

“Excuse you, mine’s not a blanket,” Sam said. “Mine’s a slanket. Big difference.”

Bucky resisted the urge to throw the whole heap of parcels at Sam’s head. “Because it has sleeves? It’s still a blanket, Wilson. They’re all blankets. Even Thor’s direct-from-Asgard raven gift delivery was a cloak, which just means it’s a blanket with a strap. We all got Steve a goddamn blanket.”

One Tin Soldier

Written for a prompt at avengerkink: Because really, under any other circumstances, why would they follow him when he's some guy who's younger than the rest of them (time as a Capsicle aside), who goes around wearing that spangly outfit, who's not even used to the modern world? Why Steve Rogers, rather than a Norse god or the CEO of Stark Industries or anyone else?

“Love is for children,” she'd said, but respect knew no such bounds. The five times the Avengers accepted Steve as their leader, and the one time they followed without question.

and if there's life we'll see it

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask (Before Assisting Others)

Steve keeps going, because they need him. Being Captain America - having the serum - is a responsibility and a privilege he takes seriously, and he won't waste it by sitting around resting in the middle of a crisis. But then the work is over, and the original victims of the crisis aren't the only ones needing looking after.

Way of the Eagle

Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.

Walking Wounded

In the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, Steve's doing just fine. Until he's not. Fortunately, Thor is a perfect mother-hen, Tony makes decent back-up, JARVIS is a genius, and Soap Operas are life-changing. (Or, Post-Shawarma Feels.)

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarise:

-Jughead -the writers’ self-insert- is tripping balls in this episode. Make of that what you will. 

-Glen is justifiably suspicious when Betty mentions another man just after their romp. He immediately pulls rank and declares “No Jugheads allowed”. It’s the war of the moustaches in Riverdale and we all know who’ll be winning. Did you unironically wear your suspenders down for 3 whole years, Glen? I didn’t think so.

-It’s Parent-Teacher Night at Riverdale. Only 11 parents are present, which makes sense, as only the Drama Teacher and the Football Coach are there.

-Veronica’s “For God’s sake, Chad, stop wasting my time!” should be a tag.

-Same goes for Nana Rose’s “We must pray for deliverance!”

-Literary agent Sam and his hot dog stand make an appearance.

-Smithers also makes an appearance. He’s still working towards that pension.

-Jughead has been doing Maple Mushrooms for inspo. He orders some from his New York dealer aptly named Speedy. I am outraged on Cheryl’s behalf that the Blossoms are not involved in this maple mushroom story line.

-You won’t believe it, but Polyporus or Cerioporus squamosus aka the maple mushroom aka the Dryad’s saddle (which is a very cool name) is actually not a hallucinogenic.

-Why, Reggie, you smooth old-ladykiller, bringing Nana Rose roses!

-Riverdale acknowledges the ridiculousness of who has and who hasn’t the serial killer genes. And by acknowledges, I mean: mentions.

-The F.B.I. according to Riverdale consists of: Charles the serial killer, Betty the almost serial killer and Glen the serial killer fanboy.

-A reporter from the New York Times informs Archie that General Taylor and one of his missions are under investigation. Once it is pointed out to him, Archie immediately suspects that he might have been part of something shady. 

-It turns out that Veronica thought that her husband might have crashed the helicopter she was in on purpose, but that, somehow, hasn’t been an issue for her before? If only she had a friend in the F.B.I. to help her investigate Chad’s shady business ...

-No one comes at Juniper and Dagwood’s Birthday Party, which is suspicious: was Jerry the only classmate they pushed down the stairs??

-Riverdale has only one prison and it belongs to Hiram, who sets all the prisoners free so that they can trash the town. The prisoners attack Riverdale High instead of taking the money and running, because they might be convicted murderers but they’re not thieves, dammit!

-Archie opts for an atmospherical mortal combat under the dusky emergency lights of RHS, instead of fixing the fuse box and then hunting down the escaped prisoners. Jughead’s artistic vein must be rubbing off on him. Jarchie foreshadowing for sure.

-All prisoners attack RHS? No! Charles and Chick visit the Coopers to get married with their family in the most extra wedding ever! Chick has even let his hair grow especially for the occasion. #relationshipgoals

-Glen, who turns out to be Charles’ nemesis from the Academy, shows up uninvited. If it’s one thing the Coopers cannot abide, it’s lack of manners.

-Mr Smith (that’s the one without the serial killer genes) provides Betty (who has the serial killer genes) with a deadly weapon. Betty sees her chance to stab Glen without ramifications and goes for it. She then stubs Chick. Nature vs Nurture: 1-0.

-Penelope delivers the most epic line ever uttered in Riverdale:

“Nightmare child, I have escaped that hideous prison and praise God that I did. Flames are encroaching upon Thornhill.”

-There’s not enough time for the Blossoms to both chase Minerva (and sacrifice her) and set up a satanic altar. They chose the latter.

-A crazy windstorm saves Thornhill but most of the grove has perished. Is it time for Cheryl to turn to the maple mushroom business?

-It’s too soon for a proper bughead reunion, so the writers have Jughead hallucinating sex with Betty. Her presence is enough for him to write the new chapter of his new book. It’s called The Transubstantiation. He promptly transubstantiates himself into thin air.

-Uncle Frank’s tostitos can’t hold a candle to Hiram Lodge’s doritos. Fact.

-By this time Toffee has probably gone feral in the woods. Odds are she’ll be the first to find Jughead. All hope for Toffee finally meeting Jughead is not lost!

One down. Nine more opportunities for the writers to hallucinate the next episode.

[harrysbbby]

Don’t Forget Where You Belong - JJ Maybank x Reader - Part One

A/N: Hey guys! Long time no post! But after watching Outer Banks I felt inspired to start a new series featuring my new fav JJ. Hopefully more updates soon!

Outer Banks was a peculiar place to live. One half was uber rich- multiple houses, 30k boats and memberships at golf club. The other half lived, arguably, in poverty. No power when big surges came through, working two jobs just to get food on the table. You had been both blessed and cursed to have grown up experiencing both.

You were born on The Cut. To a single mother as your dad had dipped not long after he figured out what he thought was his summer fling was knocked up. Your childhood was pretty good even though you were poor. Swimming in the marsh near your house and days by the beach playing with your friends. Ah yes, your friends. You distinctly remember the day you met John B. It was first day of second grade as you sat in your assigned seat in the classroom. A curly-haired boy came and sat next you, inspecting your things on your desk. Being the snotty nosed 8-year old you were, you frowned at the boy, pulling your things closer to yourself on the desk and turning to face away from him. He then tapped you on the shoulder.

“What?” you asked him (rudely).

“Do you like surfing?” he asked abruptly, as any curious young child would.

“Yeah,” you replied, “My mum takes me on weekends. Why?”

“I like surfing too. It means we’re best friends now.” He said with certainty. And because when you’re 8 and someone tells you something, you believed them, you did. You believed John B would be your best friend. Little did you know, 8 years later, he still would be.

From that day on he had become your partner in crime, wreaking havoc across the poor neighbour. But how could any of your neighbours hate you when you were both so cute?

Your duo became a trio about a year later when you inducted JJ into your group. Even as a young child, the addition of JJ into your friendship circle made your stomach drop: “What if John B doesn’t want to be my friend anymore if he’s friends with another boy?”

However all doubts evaporated as the three of you became thick as thieves. The three of you got up to so much mischief in The Cut, and you created a brotherly bond with the two guys.

But the fairy tale only lasted a few years. When you were 12 you mother met a man. Nice, well-dressed and full-on kook. Within a year she married him, and your life of borderline poverty was traded for one of luxury. You were forced to move to Figure 8 aka the rich side of the island, leaving behind your two best friends.

You had been in John B’s backyard on the day you were moving.

“I’ll come visit I promise, you’ll see me on weekends. We can still go surfing.” You said, sadness laced in your voice. You really didn’t want to move. You knew it was going to be good for you. Stability, chance at a future, but it nearly tore you apart having to leave your best friends, your family.

“Yeah of course,” John B said confidently. He moved over to give you a hug after seeing your lower lip turn and begin to shake. You wrapped your arms around him.

“Thanks JB,” you separated from your hug and turned to JJ. He was still sitting sullenly, facing the marsh with his arms crossed defiantly across his chest. He refused to even look at you.

“JJ,” John B began but was cut off but JJ abruptly standing up and stomping his foot.

“No! She’s going to forget us! She’s gonna have a better kook house with better kook friends and a better kook life!” He stormed inside the Chateau, slamming the door. You sighed, as your shoulders dropped.

“He’ll come around,” John B said, patting your shoulder comfortingly.

“I hope he does.”

Turns out it was a lot harder to live the Pogue lifestyle from Figure 8. You were constantly being dressed up and dragged off to lavish parties. You started going to the private school with the rest of the obnoxious rich kids, who had no interest in surfing or fishing or anything you liked. And with your new lifestyle, it was hard to see John B and JJ. It started off well, meeting them every second afternoon after school, but as you grew older, and school got harder and life got busier, trips to The Cut became less and less frequent.

Not all the kooks were terrible though. You became good friends with two girls, Sarah and Kiara. Sarah was nice but you got on much better with Kiara. She liked going to the beach and cared about the environment. So, when Sarah and Kiara had their massive falling out when you were in 10th grade you didn’t know what to do. You had been at Sarah’s birthday party but left as soon as Kie rang you crying about being left out. By the next Monday at school, you and Kie were outsiders.

This eventually led you back to John B and JJ. You and Kie had taken the car your step-dad had bought you for your birthday, and had just been driving aimlessly. You had driven into The Cut and before you knew it you were at The Chateau.

“What are we doing here?” Kie asked.

To be completely honest, you had no idea what had led you to absentmindedly drive here. But as you got out of the car and ran around the back you knew exactly why. JJ, John B and a third boy you had never met were sat around a bonfire.

“Y/N” you heard JJ’s voice quaver quizzically. You smiled as you ran towards the two boys who were now sprinting towards you. You jumped into John B’s arms as he grabbed you and pulled you up. The three of you emitted melodical laughter as John B put you on the ground and you eyes stared back at JJ’s.

“Come here,” he said hoisting you off the ground and into his arms. You squealed as he spun the two of you around. He set you back down and you took a step back.

“What are you doing here?” John B asked as the other boy you hadn’t met and Kie joined your group from separate sides.

“I don’t know,” you said tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, “We were just driving and ended up here.”

“That’s all?” John B smirked at you. He knew you too well.

“I missed you guys!” you yelled exasperatedly. The two boys laughed as you continued, “The Kook academy is horrible, everyone’s so snobby and now they hate me. Well, us.”

“Us?”

“Oh yeah, this is Kiara,” you said gesturing to your friend. She smiled sheepishly and waved at the three boys. They all waved back. “She’s my friend from school.”

“Well this is Pope, he’s from school too.” They said gesturing to the boy standing behind them.

“Nice to meet you.” You smiled at the boy.

“Well,” JJ said draping his arm over your shoulder, and pulling you close towards him as he led you towards the bonfire. “Welcome back to the Pogue life.”

PART 2 UP NOW:

https://harrysbbby.tumblr.com/post/618181419525718016/dont-forget-where-you-belong-jj-maybank-x

[fateology]

witness my brain rot. tma raven cycle au but i haven’t looked at trc in many years so probably even more of a mess than it fundamentally is as a concept

martin blackwood as BLUE SARGENT

this is a pretty obvious choice since i casted jon as gansey already. fox way women include jane prentiss/annabelle cane/agnes montague, who all raised him as a spooky polycule. helen is there also opening doors in his bedroom when he needs boy advice (she is not to be trusted)

he is also the number one aglionbyphobe in town. comes very close to spitting on jon during their first meeting, which is a great coincidence, because jon, too, was dying to spit on him

they work it out though but only after many books of disdainful co-adventuring

his dad may or may not have been a tree

jonathan sims as RICHARD GANSEY

what is he looking for? glendower? jonah magnus’ corpse? probably jonah magnus’ corpse. when he was eight he nearly died after being attacked by i dunno a very large owl but he heard A Voice and survived. now he will not stop until he finds that buried old shithead

picks up friends like they’re fun rings. he’s not even that sociable so no one’s really sure how it happens

sits awake in monmouth every night with gerry/melanie and builds little cardboard panopticons that he sees in his dreams. why is he looking for the corpse of jonah magnus? unclear. he sure knows a lot about the man though

owner of a terrible horrible car that martin has definitely succeeded in spitting on at one point. the car is an extension of his soul so it was the next best thing

georgie barker as ADAM PARRISH

certain about this because georgie could so be an adam. aglionby is co-ed here so she can hate from within the club. the number two aglionbyphobe, she would be number one if not for the fact that she actually is in aglionby, which bumps her down one spot

begins a very intense rivalry/mutual interest with this other awful girl jon’s acquired as a friend aka wtgfs as pynch!

later on she gets psychic lessons from fox way ladies. scries in the aglionby girls toilet by plugging the sinks when she should be in latin class

(georgie, eyes black: WHAT DID MELANIE KING GET ON HER GATSBY ESSAY. AND WAS IT HIGHER THAN ME

cracks in the porcelain, rearranging: 89

georgie: FUCK)

melanie king as RONAN LYNCH

she is one half of two ronans because i split ronan into two parts. she’s ronan prime. the number three aglionbyphobe. rouser of tempers, flouter of school rules, breaker of nose bridges

she and jon are friends because she broke his nose in phys ed after he ran into her on accident

super into the other awful girl jon’s acquired as a friend, will not admit it even to herself. proceeds to have four books worth of angry dreams about it

drives her dead father’s swanky car around all the time because what is the raven cycle about if not driving your dead father’s swanky car around all the time. brotherless, except for gerry, who is basically her declan. they’re both greywarens and the worst kind of bffs

gerard keay as RONAN LYNCH, DOS, or DECLAN LYNCH, LITE

gerry is also a lynch sibling except that he’s both declan and ronan somehow

mary is niall and eric is aurora. instead of grieving for mary’s death gerry goes frolicking in the hills out of sheer joy (ABOUT TIME! and with a TIRE IRON no less! this is everything he’s dreamed of)

but also eric is dream-asleep except when he’s in the forest...what was it called...cabeswater. so not a full win. cabeswater was a keay/king team effort

anyway gerry greywaren indulgence 💖 he would do great with a raven on his shoulder. he was the one who brought jon to the nurse after melanie broke his nose, providing jon with the absolute coup of two awful new friends in one day. fast forward some months and gerry’s bunkbedding with melanie in monmouth

lots of gay rivalries (4 to be specific) and gay car races, which brings me to the next thing,

mike crew as JOSEPH KAVINSKY

except less of a douchebag and more of an asshole. primarily because the witch at the middle of the figurative bog of my prolonged tma brain rot is gerrymike. actually this would be tma dream thieves au if i’m being honest

lichtenberg figure = mike’s dream monster. mike does the counterfeiting thing mostly with rare books because he’s looking for something to exorcise the lichtenberg from his dreamscape.

that feeling when your family is rich as balls and you are functionally or genuinely an orphan and also you can manifest objects in your real life from your sleeping brain. nothing to be done about it except have some homosexual car races with your rival who happens to be sexy and a goth. once more, driving your dead father’s swanky car around all the time.

his dream pack includes jude perry/michael shelley/mikaele salesa except it’s not His dream pack because he doesn’t have the kavinsky ringleaderitis and they’re just weirdos who hang out together and occasionally do dream narcotics

sasha james as NOAH CZERNY

classic. the secretly been a ghost all this time! got #murdered years ago so she’s glad that her friends don’t seem to mind. everyone just thought she was like anemic or something.

depending on where you began the story it was about sasha james...was more when she was alive etc etc.

definitely was a skater. got beat to death with her skateboard by her best friend who was also quizzically named sasha

timothy stoker as HENRY CHENG

i don’t think i have to say much but yeah. he’s gerry’s fourth gay rivalry. wildly aglionby-popular which is honestly not something he should be proud of (he knows this)

constantly getting dunked on by all of jon’s friends but he can dunk back just as good which is a relief for him

embroiled in a mystic dynasty of his own thru his mom but way more well adjusted about it than gerry or melanie (they dunk on him to cope)

hobbies include toga parties and joining other peoples relationships (aka jonmartim as sarchengsey)

no real plot to all of it because i can’t figure out who’s who in terms of antagonists. all of them are jonah magnus wearing different people’s skins probably

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 1

There Is Strength in Sweetness 

Much like the years, the seasons of D20 start coming and they don’t stop coming. Fantasy High: Sophomore Year is barely in the record books and we’re already jumping into our new season--the Game of Thrones/Candyland mashup: A Crown of Candy!

If y’all have been with me since Sophomore Year then you know that I did very in depth recaps of every episode with a very specific format but I’m gonna try something new for this season.

The format might change a little between episodes as I figure out what works best so bear with me but the plan is to do more highlights and opinions than a blow by blow. But, like, we’ll see what happens.

So, anyway, saddle up your Meep and let’s visit Candia--one of the six kingdoms of the land of Calorum (aka: a fridge. We see you Brennan, it’s a fridge). Twenty years ago, the Ravening Wars wreaked havoc but they’re currently in a time of peace which (mostly) everybody is psyched about.

Meet the Family

This is not a new observation but, while most seasons of Fantasy High focus on found family, this season is all about family-family, specifically, the royal family of Candia and their associates. 

We’re first introduced to Murph’s character--Sir Theobald Gumbar (Level 3 Eldritch Knight)--who is the a huge, golden-armored, gummy bear, leader of the Tartguard, protector of the royal family, and the logical endpoint of Murph’s lawful good predilections. Sir Theo is, of course, on time with bells on for the big Saint’s Day/Coming of Age birthday party for the twin princesses of House Rocks. Unfortunately, he’s clearly never seen The Little Mermaid because when the heralds announce the princesses, they don’t show up. Frustrated, he goes to try and find them.

The first place he checks is with Zac’s character, Chancellor Lapin Cadbury (Level 3 Celestial Warlock). He is (in no particular order) the royal tutor, a chocolate bunny, an official of the main state sanctioned church of Calorum (the Bulbian Church), and a pompous ass. Oh, one more thing? He and Theobald can’t stand each other. There is nothing funnier than two very proper grown men who hate each other's guts. Sir Theo shows up to his classroom where the princesses are having a lesson--or at least they’re supposed to be. Further inspection shows that they’ve just left two straw dummies in their place. Classic.

So, we pan out to the city to meet my favorite characters so far (I absolutely play favorites but I also disclose when I’m doing it so I think I’m in the clear) the twin princesses/chaos gremlins--Jet and Ruby Rocks (both level 1 Rogues) played by Emily and Siobhan. Theo may not have seen The Little Mermaid but the twins have def seen Aladdin, because their number one pastime seems to be escaping the palace to roam the city--hilariously illustrated when they chuck a gem into a peasant's bag and his reaction is a super nonplussed, “Guess the princesses escaped again.” They’re got the Disney Princess-itis really bad because both of them feel stifled by palace life and want more--specifically, Jet wants to be a warrior and resents having been born in peacetime (especially since she’s slightly older and in line for the throne) and Ruby wants to run off and join the circus as an acrobat. They are total twin BFFs to the point that their Thieves Cant has been reskinned to Twinspeak which is a detail I love so much (and that will become unspeakably tragic if something happens to one of them Brennan). 

Jet gets a letter from her secret crush Thad, an Avocado from Fructera (these are the sentences I am being forced to write this season folks) and schemes with Ruby about how they can get to Comida (the capital city) to meet him--possibly by sweet talking Theobald which is easy because he’s so thirsty for respect. Sure enough, Theobald and Lapin soon find them, following their path of destruction and the princesses are brought back to the castle.

Back at the castle, we’re introduced to Lou’s character--King Amethar Rocks (Level 3 Storm Herald Barbarian)--who is having a somber moment, surrounded by the statues of his four older sisters who died in the Ravening Wars, leading his reluctant taking of the throne. He’s interrupted by Lord Calroy (his right hand guy and a full ass talking slice of cake because Brennan is trying to break me this season but I refuse to give him the satisfaction) who lets him know that his daughters have escaped and his delighted reaction immediately lets us know which side of the family they take after.

Finally (at least wrt PCs), we meet Ally’s character--Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker (Level 2 Ranger) who is a political prisoner/ward of House Rocks and a soft, outdoorsy, mountain kid who is perpetually followed around by his pet pig--Peppermint Preston whose death will absolutely force to me to Google “Best Denny’s Parking Lots for Fistfights.” He misses his dad but not his dick brothers because Ally isn’t allowed to have a fully happy family in any season. Liam is from the disgraced House Jawbreaker and his brothers seem to expect him to try and off the King while he’s in their orbit. While he’s in the woods, looking for seeds (as one does) he finds and accidentally breaks an important looking teacup, which we’ll get back to.

The other important character we meet this episode is an NPC--Queen Caramelinda, mother of the princesses, wife of Amethar, and keeper of 100% of the impulse control of House Rocks. She’s the main disciplinarian to Jet and Ruby, the clear decision-maker in the kingdom, and the only literate one out of her and her husband. She also seems to be the only character that respects Lapin’s authority. 

An Inciting Incident

So, with all our characters assembled, all that’s left is the plot hook which Caramelinda provides in the form of a personal letter from Emperor Gustavo--the head honcho of the entire realm and his old friend--to Amethar. He’s not doing well health-wise and he needs to name an heir that’s not related to him at a big tourney that he’s personally inviting Amethar to. Amethar is a little slow on the uptake but Caramelinda eventually connects to dots for him that it seems very likely that Gustavo is going to name him emperor.

Amethar is not vibing with that information at all but Caramelinda basically holds him by the ear until he reluctantly agrees to go--though he insists that Ruby and Jet also come along to keep him company. Caramelinda only agrees on the condition that Lapin goes with. She also invites Liam (who is caught off guard but game) and Sir Theo is basically going by default. Caramelinda is staying home to hold down the fort but the talking slice of cake is going because Brennan hates me and doesn’t want me to be happy. 

The traveling party is chosen, the twins have been gifted with sick, inherited weapons from their aunts: Flickorice--the Twizzing Blade (Jet) and Sourscratch--the Puckering Bow (Ruby). It’s almost time to be off, but there’s still one last thing to get to before we leave the twins’ party. 

Lapin, feeling the pull of something broken (told you we’d get back to it) subtly makes his way outside, but is followed by Jet and Liam. Now, if you remember, I said earlier that Lapin is an official of the Bulbian church. Which is why it’s so surprising for Jet and Liam to see him talking to the Sugarplum Fairy, a deity of the Sweetening Path--a non-sanctioned more animistic religion that really only has sway in Candia. He fixes the teacup and then she appears, telling him that he’ll need to be wary once he leaves her sphere of influence and that boldness will be required in the days to come. Lapin, who seems to be having this conversation very begrudgingly, asks if she’s asking him to do anything in an official capacity and she smiles and says that she’s not asking for her third wish(!). Then what does she want? She wants him to know that there is great risk in what he is doing, but not acting is the greater risk. The coming challenges will be great, but he must protect the royal family or all is lost. She wouldn't have used her second wish to bring him to them if that weren’t the case. They hustle back and spill this to Ruby, obvs.

Anyway, onward! The next day, the caravan is set up and--with a warning about a sugar free chocolate warlock (ominous, as sugar free chocolate always is) they’re on their way to meet their escort out of Candia. Ruby decides to do her acrobat thing and is hanging out on top of the carriage instead of inside it as she and Jet “subtly” (read:not at all) bring up the Sugarplum Fairy to Lapin to see if he cracks.

Suddenly, the caravan stops. There’s a tree felled in the path, which really only means one thing in this kind of story. 

Ambush.

Ruby, outside of the carriage and unprotected, takes 16 points of damage and is fully down with a failed death save due to some unknown effect. The carriage is riddled with arrows. 

Everyone rolls for initiative and that takes us into a new (sure to be recurring) segment I’m calling:

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m concerned about Jet and Ruby (and not just because I’ve been worried about Ruby for a while due to things the cast has said and because she fully *died* this episode). They have their genres so wrong. They think they’re Disney movie protagonists but they’re in Game of Thrones and they don’t know it. Being Wrong Genre Savvy is a BAD position to find yourself in. Carriage surfing shenanigans don’t fly in a world that wants you dead.

OK, Carameinda. I’m inclined to be pro-Caramelinda. Like, she’s the hardass but she needs to be because Amethar isn’t helping run the kingdom. If this was a different story, she wouldn’t give me any pause but I read Macbeth and feel some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Gonna be keeping an eye on her.  

Calroy and Sir Toby (didn’t mention him, he’s a slightly lower ranked Gummi Bear guard and friends with Theo). In a story like this, I’m looking for the possible betrayals before I get blindsided and the only people who can really betray you are people who are supposedly loyal to you. Calroy had a little aside with Amethar about how he shouldn’t be the Emperor if he doesn’t want to be--which isn’t wrong but is also something someone angling to keep him off the throne for other reasons would say--and Sir Toby decided to stay behind to help hold down the fort--again, either an innocuous decision, or angling to be left alone and to his own devices. 

Whatever is going on with the Sugarplum Fairy and Lapin? Do not care for that one bit. I understand that a Warlock pact is mechanically very similar to a Paladin oath and a Celestial Warlock pact is even moreso but guess what? Still don’t trust it. I know Ruby’s Arcana check said that she’s generally a chill spirit but I still don’t trust it. And getting Wishes from your follower? Weird and suspicious. What’s your game, lady?

Emperor Gustavo apparently has a daughter who is barred by law from taking the throne when he dies. That sounds like a very strong motive for *something* at some point down the line. 

I’m a little concerned Jet is being catfished by this Avocado. First of all, not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. Second of all, I’m probably just being paranoid. But that feels like a great way to get a princess alone for kidnapping or shanking or something. 

Update: Brennan did an AMA and, regarding the previous bullet point he said, and I quote, “You are right to be concerned!” so now I’m concerned about that too! Fun!

I’m concerned about the mechanics of how a slice of cake person works. Slice implies a full cake. Where is the rest of the cake Brennan? Where is it? And, like, Brennan said on the post-show stream that we’re making the “what do they eat?” question weirder than it actually is because we’re made of some of the stuff we eat but hey Brennan? If I could pick a flesh toned and textured apple off a tree? That would be weird, OK? And I’m sorry for everyone else who had to picture that but it had to be said since Brennan is insisting on walking us down this garden path.

I’m concerned about whatever the hell is happening with Liam. Disgraced dad, mom is a shaman of the local fringe religion (Sweetening Path, like Lapin), and his brothers want him to shank the king or something? No way this ends in smiles for everyone. 

Brennan said Pyramid of Food so I’m concerned about fruit rollup mummies. 

OK but more than anything, I’m concerned about the death rules of this game. Death in D&D is cheap but, in a campaign like this, it can’t be. I’m not super well versed in GoT but it’s my understanding that resurrection in that series is possible but rare. Brennan said he specifically didn’t let Ally stock certain healing spells and that’s very telling about how things are gonna be handled. I guess we’ll see in the upcoming battle episode how that works but my general thought is, I hope everyone made interesting backup characters.  

Five More Things

So, my thoughts on the new characters. I love Ruby and Jet with my entire heart. Watching Emily and Siobhan roleplay sisters and enable each other and hype each other up is so fun--or it would be if I wasn’t low key bracing to lose one of them sooner rather than later. Zac playing against type and Murph playing to type are both fantastic. I want nothing more than for Theobald and Lapin to continue sniping at each other. I hope that’s the first PvP fight of D20. Amethar is a lot of fun but clearly in over his head and I’m interested to see where he’s pushed. Liam is literally just vibing. Hope he doesn’t have to commit regicide!     

God, the House Rocks PCs are such a disaster family. I love it. The moment when Calroy comes in and is like, “The princesses have escaped,” and Amethar breaks into a grin and is like, “Dude, that’s so dope!” I was like OH, so it’s *all* of them, huh. But, honestly, this should have been on the “Things I’m Concerned About” list because come on. They’ve not all gonna make it. And then we’re gonna have to watch the remaining family members react to that? Oh no. 

Love Ruby’s bow. I have a player in my game who also has a magic bow that produces energy arrows because, truly, who has the time to deal with the logistics of how many arrows you had left after last fight? Magic arrows. Boom, done. Next. 

Getting bagged on by your Patron for not having a spell when she’s the one who gives you your spells is so funny. Also, Mending isn’t a Warlock spell which makes it even funnier. 

**I’ve given myself a 3k word limit on all of these to try to put some boundaries on myself but, Lol, prize to the first who guesses closest to the first episode I break that rule.**

[olliethealright]

Three Steps From Home: Update 4

Hey everyone! Long time, no see! Basically, I’ve been unmotivated for the past month or so, and as a result I’ve barely touched my socials. Good news, I’ve written the next eleven or so chapters of my WIP, and it’s almost doubled in word count lol. I don’t want to do a full sized update on every chapter because that would take a stupidly long amount of time, so I’m just gonna summarize and then give a little excerpt (this ended up being chapters 11-16) Not every quote has a picture because I am a tad lazy lol. Enjoy! 

Trigger Warnings: Emotional abuse, toxic relationships, homophobia, self harm, suicide, mental health, drug use, religious content

Disclaimer: Please don’t steal my words, ideas, characters, etc.

chapter eleven - problem child - 2118 words

theme song - if i get high - nothing but thieves

summary: Jude and Aaron have one last dinner with Jude’s mother before moving to Seattle. Shit goes down, Jude’s father is addressed, Jude’s mom has an anti-religious experience, everyone is upset. 

except - Jude thinking about his family before his dad left

I was two months from finishing my Junior year as a top student, six from applying to every out of state school I could think of, fourteen from leaving everything and never coming back. From the outside, the Alvarez-Carter family was a model of the American dream; we took family photos everywhere we went and cooked each other dinners on alternating days of the week. We  attended every house party, where my mother exchanged gossip like trading cards and my dad sipped Bud Light from a bottle and played cornhole. At those same parties, I flirted shamelessly with every girl in the vicinity, then cited my religion as the reason I wouldn’t do more than exchange pretty words.

The night dad left wasn’t the first time my parents fought in front of me, but it was the night they shattered the already paper thin barrier they had held between me and their issues. I never knew who started it, never knew who threw the first punch, but I knew who delivered the killing blow.

chapter twelve - golden days - 854 words

theme song - ribs - lorde,  also chelsea - phoebe bridgers 

summary: Aaron and Jude move into their new apartment, very light airy vibes, Jude idealizing everything, Aaron and Jude being adorable (yeah can you tell nothing actually happens in this one lmao). 

excerpt - Aaron and Jude leaving Montana

A taxi dropped us off at the Amtrak station the next morning. Our breath rose in front of us on the platform, I tiled my head back and tasted the sunlight; sweet and overflowing with new beginnings. Maybe, I’d be lucky enough to catch one for both of us. 

chapter thirteen - unholy creation - 900 words

theme song - reflections - the neighborhood

summary: Aaron’s mental health takes a turn, Jude is worried but has no idea what to do, Jude and Aaron fight for no good reason

excerpt - a description of Aaron falling off several wagons 

You were a shell of fragile bones and sharp edges when I wrapped an arm around you during a scary movie or curled against your chest late at night. You started wearing a flannel or a sweatshirt over every outfit, an extra layer to hide your ribs and hip bones and elbows, so sharp they could cut through glass. I stopped holding you so tight, afraid of the snap of calcium or cartilage or spirit.

okay one more because I like this chapter haha - Aaron getting mad when Jude asks about his parents

“It’s not about them, alright? I’m not going to talk about them because they’re not part of my life, they don’t control anything. Stop asking about them because they don’t matter, and I wouldn’t tell you if they did.”

You said the words like a chant, a litany, like you were the one who needed convincing. I pictured my mother in her dark dining room, palms up to God, praying for a miracle. You looked like her then, all the fear and anger coming out in one jumble of meaningless words. I flinched away when I should have stood my ground.

chapter fourteen - (has a title but I hate it) - 674 words

theme song - fear of falling asleep - TENDER  

summary - Jude has a mental breakdown, Aaron buys him sleeping pills and then takes them himself, they (kind of) fight, everything is toxic

excerpt - Jude watching Aaron sleep (it’s a weird chapter)

You took my meds that night, I cheeked them until you turned your back, then spit them into the dishwater and washed them down with green suds and scraps of tofu and rice. An hour later, you were passed out in our bed, skeletal limbs stretching out like the fragile branches of a birch tree. I watched as your chest rose and fell, dappled in moonlight and the neon buzz of constant electricity. For a few moments at a time, I convinced myself that your steady rhythm of in-and-out had stopped, I watched as you left this world and then came back. I couldn’t tell how much time was in between.

chapter fifteen - forest, electric (aka my favorite chapter in the book?) - 1279 words

theme song - are you bored yet - wallows 

summary - in an attempt to renew their relationship, Aaron takes Jude on a hike to a construction site in the middle of the night. The two sit on the roof and watch the sunrise. 

excerpt - starting the adventure

We walked four blocks south to meet our Uber, then set off down the winding streets of the city. It was one in the morning and if I looked close enough, I could convince myself I had woken up in a ghost town. Or maybe I was stuck in dreamland, where my boyfriend was perfect and everything I saw was real and I didn’t have to negotiate with myself when I needed an hour or two of rest.

excerpt - the end of the chapter that I just really like

We didn’t talk about our problems that night; we pretended I wasn’t sick and you weren’t hooked. That night, my mother didn’t hate you, we visited your parents once a year during glamorous Scottish vacations, we weren’t runaways. We dangled our feet over the edge of the roof, neither of us thought about jumping, about how our stomachs would drop faster than our bodies, about the inevitable crush of bones and life that awaited at the bottom.

That night, we leaned into each other and locked our hands and whispered ‘I love yous’ until a band of pink and orange lit the horizon and we realized we would get caught if we stayed much longer. We walked the two miles home and fell asleep curled in each other’s arms an hour before your 7:00AM alarm, two before you would leave the apartment again, eight before you would return home just before your high wore off.

I knew all these realities to be true at once, so I breathed in cologne and coffee grounds, took a picture in my head so that image of you, asleep and unaddicted and bathed in the sunrise, would stay with me forever.

chapter sixteen - gods and monsters - 1378 words

theme song - freakin out on the interstate - briston maroney 

summary - Aaron and Jude’s friends come over for the Fourth of July, Aaron comes home drunk and makes his friends leave, Jude’s friend tells Jude to break up with Aaron, Jude refuses 

excerpt - Jude convincing himself that everything is fine when it is clearly not fine (aka the theme of the book and also should probably be the title)

You were sallow and gaunt, your hair was greasy, your breath smelled of vomit and alcohol and whatever else you had taken. You were a monster in our bed, but I could feel that lazy half smile against my skin. I could close my eyes and see you sitting in that tea shop, long limbs sprawled over the pillows, the sun on your skin making you glow like a god.

That image of you couldn’t lie, not when I had lived that moment, not when it had been so beautiful. I wouldn’t leave you because you would be alright and this would pass. You convinced me everything would look better in the morning, all our problems would fade with the rising sun.

You were wrong. They didn’t.

Okay, this is getting way too long so I’m gonna end it here! Thank you so much if you actually read all that! If you want more information on any chapter, just message me and I will do that. The update on the last few chapters of the first draft should be out somewhat soon, and I may or may not have a new WIP coming up :)

ALSO, it has come to my attention that most people have these things called taglists? And I don’t have one? If you wanna be on mine for this project, or any future projects, message me or repost this and I will make one. Thank you for reading!

-Ollie

[darkelfshadow]

Session Summary - 88

AKA “After The Raid”

Adventures in Taggriell

Session 88  (Date: 26th June 2020)

Players Present:

- Rob (Known as “Varis”) Elf Male.

- Bob (Known as “Sir Krondor) Dwarf Male.

- Travis (Known as “Trenchant”) Human Male.

- Paul (Known as “Labarett”) Elf Male.

- John (Known as “Ragnar”) Dwarf Male.

Absent Players

- Arthur (Known as “Gim”) Dwarf Male. <Controled by Bob>

NPC

- (Known as “Naillae”) Elf Female. <Controlled by Travis>

Summary

- Fireday, 12th Gozran in the year 815 (Second Era). Early Summer.

- The party begin this session, just after midday, having ridden to Phlan.

- The party wait outside, hidden near farms and forest, whilst Varis makes his way into Phlan on foot. His presence is detected by a Cult spy when Varis exposes himself as a Rogue by using Thieve’s Cant. The Cult Spy alerts a passing patrol and then Varis decides to make a run for it. The patrol chases him, and soon Varis is forced to flee the town running for his life towards the large adjacent forests whilst numerous patrols and mounted Knights try to stop him.

- Hearing the sounds of war horns blazing and seeing Varis running out of the city whilst being pursued the rest of the party decide to hide in the forests. Trenchant makes the decision to ride alone to locate and help Varis.

- Just before the slowly gaining patrols catch up and find Varis, they are ordered to turn back, to deal with another threat. Varis overhears them talking about someone referred to as the Black Knight having attacked a Cult supply warehouse in the city.

- Varis and Trenchant reunite and then return to the party to inform them of what has happened. As most of the Cult forces appear to have moved over to the far side of the city, obviously to deal with this Black Knight problem, this allows the party to enter the city and make their way to the ruined manor of the Order Of The Gauntlet.

- Varis gets an uneasy feeling as he is walking through the city, like someone is watching the party.

- Sir Krondor hands over the captured Drow prisoner, Yustena Karas, to Sir Zern. Trenchant, using his Cloak Of The Elven Kind, makes his way alone to the port side of the city to meet the Harpers. He manages to get there safely, avoiding numerous patrols and seeing the occasional lone figure standing around watching carefully; obviously more Cult spies.

- Trenchant speaks to Olisara and hands the recovered Harper items to her. He informs her of the events that occurred within the Twilight Marsh and the Cult’s creation of a Dracolich.

- He learns that more people have gone missing. First it was adventurers, then gem and jewellery merchants, then other merchants and now random people. These abductions are not believed to be the work of the Cult nor of the local Thieve’s Guild, The Welcomers. Olisara takes Trenchant into a private sleeping chamber and shows him a young boy, the only known surviver of these abductions. The boy was found hidden under a bed, the rest of his family now missing and the house broken into. The boy has not spoken since, except for one phrase repeated over and over, “The eyes of Dendar”.

- Trenchant recognises the name. Dendar is a Yuan-ti god, known as the Night Serpent. It is said she was created when the first mortal dreamed, and she came into existence to feed off the nightmares of mortals ever since. Described as a gigantic primordial snake like creature, over 300 feet long, with blue black scales harder than metal, large yellow eyes that can see into the souls of mortals, and teeth filled with deadly poisonous razor sharp fangs.

- Trenchant uses his Bardic skills to try and pull the child out of his mental distress, which he manages to lessen for only a brief instant. The boys reals back in horror, obviously reliving a real nightmare, muttering to himself, “The snakes! The snakes! They come from the ground! They took …. they took everyone!” The child bursts into tears and is now unresponsive to any further interaction.

- Trenchant makes his way back to the Gauntlet Manor and rejoins the party, but he feels he is being followed on the way back, and he quickly makes his way back without delay.

- Reunited the party discuss what has happened. Ragnar too has noticed movement around the manor, in the shadows, but is not able to make anything out. Varis informs the party that he saw someone being pulled into a nearby alley and abducted by two shadowy figures. It was done quickly and quietly.

- As a group now, the party makes their way the short distance to the Velvet Doublet to return their borrowed horses back to Rolk. The party decide to wait here until nightfall and hopefully the increased patrols on the port side of the city, their destination, will be gone.

- After sunset the party make their way via back streets and alleyways. Along the way they see a mother and her child being harassed by a Dragonsoul officer of the Cult and two Knights Of The Tears Of Virulence, traitor Knights, having left the Order Of The Black Fist.

- The party won’t stand for this, as they watch the helpless woman being struck to the ground. The party races forward, with Labarett sprinting to impose himself in front of the prone woman.

- It is only then that the rest of the Knights, standing off to either side of the street, are then seen. Now the party face ten Knights lead by a Dragonsoul officer.

- The party hold nothing back. Soon the quiet of the dark night is broken as powerful spells are cast. A raging Wall Of Fire fills one side street, lighting up that city block for all to see, surrounding a group of Knights. The Knights force their way through the fire but are badly burnt doing so, some falling to ground burnt to death.

- The other Knights either engage Labarett or fall back waiting in a defensive line, crossbows ready. Trenchant covers this waiting group of Knights in a Stinking Cloud, forcing the Knights to slowly make their way out coughing, one by one.

- Sir Krondor and Gim have reached the combat, both of their weapons glowing from the power of the full moon of Harell, and are engaging Knights that emerge out of the Stinking Cloud. Varis, keeping to the rear, is picking off individual Knights with his arrows.

- During this time, the Dragonsoul officer, having flown out of the Stinking Cloud has landed on top of one of the building roofs and is hurling orbs of fire down into the party. Naillae has snuck upwards too, her Dragontooth Dagger striking back and forth. Trenchant has also moved upwards and is hurling insults towards the foes.

- Ragnar tries to stay out of direct combat, no longer having the defence of his shield which Throstulgrael melted in the Twilight Marsh, and instead casts spells at the enemy.

- When the party begin to get the upper hand having killed most of the Knights, more enemy forces arrive, bursting forth from a set of large double doors from the end of the street. Eight Red Plume Mercenaries lead by two Dragonsouls officers have run to the scene having heard the explosions and seen this city block lit up in the night.

- The Mercenaries form into three ranks and then send a volley of crossbow bolts towards the party, whilst the two Dragonsoul officers fly into air and land on the rooftops, hurling down orbs of fire.

- Trenchant casts Animate Objects, his most powerful spell, and six of the dead Knights float up from the ground and begin smashing their dead bodies into the newly arrived mercenaries. The rest of the party are still dealing with finishing off the remaining Knights.

- Varis, firing arrows from the rear, turns in horror to see more of the Knights appear from a rear side street. Six Knights with long bows move silently into two ranks whilst Knights with long spears moved into the front. Three more knights appear on one of the roof tops, near the first Dragonsoul officer. Leading this group is a Knight holding a banner with a Black Fist on it.

- Varis starts to duck low, expecting a volley of arrows to hit his body from the newly arrived Knights but instead the Knights fire over the party and send a volley of arrows to strike into the Red Plume Mercenaries.

- Looking up at the roof top, the three new Knights start attacking the Dragonsoul officer. Trenchant looks closely at the new Knights, though wearing the same armour, these Knights do not have the new green paint on the front of their chests nor have the green scarf around their visors. Tenchant yells out, “These are Knights Of The Black Fist! Allies!”

- The Dragonsoul officers all turn towards the Knights Of The Black Fist. One of the officers points towards the Knight holding the banner and yells, “Greycastle! Kill her!” All three Dragonsouls then hurl orbs of fire at this banner Knight. The agile figure dodges two of the orbs, fire exploding on the ground around her, but the third hits her on the back and head, knocking her helmet off. Fire still smouldering around her, the figure turns towards the party. Her scared face shows determination and courage. She drops the banner and instead pulls out a sword and shield. A small grey pendant worn on her forehead shows a Castle set on a waving sea.

- Narrowing her eyes she yells at the party, “Fall back! Vorgansharax is coming!” As if in answer, the faint sound of wings can be heard from the sky.

- Sir Krondor looks up into the night sky and can see a massive black shape that is blocking the stars, growing in size and coming straight for the battle. Running the Dwarf Knight yells, “Dragon! Get into the side streets!”

- All at once the party start running back away from the main street, as the last Knight Of The Tears Of Virulence begins to chase them down. Varis kills one Dragonsoul officer with an arrow, covering the party’s escape.

- Greycastle and her Knights Of The Black Fist start running away, down one side street, the two remaining Dragonsouls officers flying upwards to follow them rather than the party. Greycastle turns towards the party shouting, “Do what you can! Protect the people!”

- The remaining Red Plumes mercenaries, having previously fought their way through Trenchant’s animated corpses, start running towards the fleeing party.

- A large dark figure appears over the main street, blocking out the night sky. The shape flies fast and low over the city, the lights of the city showing it to be the Ancient Green Dragon, Vorgansharax. Poisonous gas erupts out from its mouth and flours into the main street killing some of the animated corpses and mercenaries. The gas flows over Sir Krondor and Gim, but they manage to just survive thanks to their Dwarven resilience to poison. Coughing the Dwarf Knight looks up to see the dark shape flying away but to his horror another dark shape, just as large but not as solid is flying towards the party. Now with true terror the Dwarf Knight grabs his cousin and begins sprinting towards the closest side street as he yells, “Dracolich!”

- The party decide they can’t reach the side street that Greycastle and her knights ran down in time and instead turn into the closest one. Ragnar pulls a metal cover off a sewer hole in the middle of the street and with much haste the party begin to descend into it one by one.

- As all the party have now entered the side street, they hear the roar of acid as the main street is now filled with acid breath from the Dracolich flying past them. Most of the remaining mercenaries and the last enemy Knight is instantly killed and melted.

- Not wishing to be caught in the open as the two Dragons turn to strafe them again the party all enter the sewer, pulling the metal grate over them.

- A fifteen foot wide circular sewer filled with foot deep watery sludge is revealed. The smell is terrible. Ragnar points at some fresh carved marks into the stone wall, “Looks like markers.”

<And as the party catch their breath from near certain death, wondering who or what left these marks, that is the end of the session.>

XP Allocation

Group - Combined (This is equally divided by the number of players who were involved)

Quests (Only quests that are completed or rendered undoable, during this session, are shown here)

- “Who? Me?” - Enter Phlan Undetected = FAIL

- “Justice & Order” - Return Drow Prisoner to Order Of Gauntlet = 800 XP (Sir Krondor only)

- “Secrets Kept” - Return Code Book to Harpers = 400 XP (Trenchant only)

- “No lose ends” - Return Spell Book to Harpers = 400 XP (Trenchant only)

- “Black Sheep of the Family” - Undiscovered Quest = FAIL

- “Finders Keepers” - Undiscovered Quest = FAIL

Creatures Overcome

- Knights Of The Tears Of Virulence = 7000 XP

- Dragonsoul = 2900 XP

- Red Plume Mercenary = 1400 XP

Individual (This is only given to that person and is not divided amongst all players)

Special Bonus (Outstanding Role Playing)

Nil

XP Levels and Player Allocations

Player : Start +  Received = Total  (Notes)

Rob : 112898 + 1614 = 114512

Arthur : 90502 + 1211 = 91713

John : 84321 + 1614 = 85935 (Level up to Level 11)

Travis : 102896 + 2414 = 105310

Paul : 91279 + 1614 = 92893

Bob : 100639 + 2818 = 103457

NPC (Naillae) : + (807)

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Descendants OC Compilation Part 1

Yes, another post to outline my Descendants, but now with all faceclaims and titles - this is mostly for my own reference but of course feel free to enjoy!  Also this will hopefully help me keep track of which OCs to make proper introductions for so feel free to tell me your favourites! 

Avalon Le Fay in King And Lionheart (fc. Emma Dumont): Daughter of Merlin and Morgana Le Fay (mixing disney with bbc’s merlin)

Nimue, daughter of Arthur and Gwen, and Avalon Le Fay, daughter or Merlin and Morgana, had always been thick as thieves, and had always been ready to declare war on Auradon.  Ever since the formation of the Isle, King Adam and the Fairy Godmother had been insisting that Morgana was still a villain, and therefore belonged on the Isle, and once Avalon was born, she agreed–so long as her daughter could stay in Camelot.  When Arthur was killed barely a year later, Merlin and Gwen partnered up to raise their daughters and run a kingdom, until the girls would be old enough to do so themselves.  Of course Auradon never trusted the one kingdom that refused to unite, and insisted that the girls be sent to Auradon prep, and so they went–reluctant as could be. Everything was fine, mostly–the other princesses looked down on Nimue’s love of swordfighting, and Avalon was never seen as anything but a villain kid, but they still had each other.  They could tolerate it all, biding their time. But at sixteen years of age, everything they’d ever planned gets thrown for a loop when it’s declared that four children from the Isle would be moving to Auradon. crossover with @seaweedhufflepuffocs​

Maria Frollo in Long Live The Queen (fc. Hazelle/Bellamie): Daughter of Claude Frollo

Maria Frollo hated her father.  It wasn’t an uncommon sentiment on the Isle, but it was still true.  She hated him.  More than she’d ever hated anyone.  Lucky for her, she met Queenie and Helena in the marketplace one day and found herself being taken under their wings.  She knows that she isn’t tough, not like they are, but if there’s one thing she learned from her father, it was how to rain hellfire down on her enemies

Queenie in Long Live The Queen (fc. Darya Lebedeva): Daughter of the Queen Of Hearts

First there was Mal, then there was Uma.  Mal defected, turned good; Uma had a martyr complex without the brains to do, well, anything.  Now they’re gone, and there’s a new queen in town.  Queenie, along with her right hand man Helena, and their loyal supporter Maria, is running the show now.  And if anyone crosses her, she knows what to do; off with their heads 

Helena in Long Live The Queen (fc. Kimmy Schram): Daughter of Hades

Living on the Isle wasn’t easy, but there was something particularly difficult about it for a goddess.  Her dad couldn’t be kept on the Isle–they’d tried, no one died anymore, he was allowed to return to the Underworld.  But when Helena was born, she was cast away to join the rest of the Villains and their children, forced to fend for herself.  Being a goddess had its advantages too, she was able to survive and rise up with no problem.  Soon she was the right hand to the newest queen, and hell would freeze before she let anyone take that away from them.

Elise Charming in Enchanted (fc. Lili Reinhart): Daughter of Cinderella and Prince Charming

Elise is Chad’s twin sister and polar opposite (well other than being preppy and a cheerleader).  She truly believes in second chances and is super excited for the VKs to come to Auradon?  And definitely falls in love with Evie but thinks that Evie is straight

Finley Rider in Stolen Heart (Fc. Virginia Gardner): Daughter of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider

Her name is Princess Finley Ryder - Corona is officially part of Auradon but they still have their own royal line.  When she was ten she was at some fancy gala party at the museum and got really bored, and got caught stealing Jafar’s staff (no one noticed that she also got both lamps) and she gets sent to the Isle on one of the shipping barges, and the first person she meets is Jay.  Once they’re a bit closer and she’s been officially accepted into the VK circle, she tells him that she still has both of the lamps, Jay makes her promise not to tell anyone else and they’ll keep them as a last resort bargaining stool.  And then they get summoned to auradon (she’s not supposed to go but Jay convinces Jafar who convinces Maleficent who “convinces” the driver) and she has to face the people who exiled her

Princess Isabelle in Tale As Old As Time (fc. Danielle Campbell): Daughter of Belle and Adam

Ben’s twin sister, who is actually the firstborn.  She believes that she should be the queen (and so does Belle) but her father insists on Ben because Isabelle is significantly harder to control.  Her endgame love interest was going to be Mal but now I’m torn between Mal and Audrey for her.

Violet Kingsleigh in Up The Rabbit Hole (fc. Meg Donnelly): Daughter of Alice and the Hatter

Violet Kingston loved growing up in Wonderland, she really did.  She loved spending mornings in her aunt’s - the queen’s - gardens; she loved fighting lessons with her parents and reading with Absolem; she loved playing with the Tweedles and hide and seek with Chess; and, of course, she adored her dad’s infamous tea parties.  Yes, Violet loved everything about Wonderland.  Especially that it wasn’t in Auradon.  It was perfect.  And then the queen is cursed, and all of Wonderland knows that Auradon is to blame.  But they can’t declare war without proof, so suddenly their young princess is being sent to Auradon prep to investigate.  Violet knows her mission.  Violet is absolutely and entirely focused.  Violet is most definitely not prepared for the boy-king to have invited a group of teenagers from the Isle Of The Lost to start school on the same day as her.

Harley Hook in Lost Girl (fc. India Eisley): Daughter of Captain Hook

Harley Hook was a pirate, through and through.  Always at her brother’s side, always with Uma and the crew, always near her beloved Gil, Harley Hook was a pirate.  And as a pirate, she absolutely hated Mal’s gang.  They thought that they were so much better than anyone, just because of Mal’s mom - big whoop, it’s not like Maleficent could even use magic on the Isle.  So yeah, Harley hated the VKs, her loyalty was to the crew, and she was never seen away from Harry or Gil.  And then the princeling decides to bring children of some of the worst villains to Auradon: Mal, Evie, Jay, Carlos.  And Harley.  Harley couldn’t be more furious at being taken away from her crew, or at being sent to Auradon, or at being forced to work with the VKs to get Fairy Godmother’s wand.  But she knows that if she wants to get back to the Isle, back to her family, she needs that barrier down as much as they do.  She’s just not sure that they can cooperate long enough for that.

Francie Facilier in Shadow Tales (fc. tentatively Amandla Stenberg): Daughter of Doctor Facilier

Why is it that people on the Isle only ever talk about Celia Facilier?  Well according to her, it’s because she’s the superior sister; according to Francie Facillier, it’s because she choses to fade into the shadows from which she came.  Francie knows everything about everyone, knows every corner of the Isle, even knows how to get off of it.  But even though she’s supposed to be evil, she’s not quite evil enough to force anyone else to listen to the villains lament on their glory days, on when they were the most feared in all the land.  Whatever, big deal, who cares?  Maybe the Beast-King should have left them all dead.  But he didn’t, no way of changing it now, so maybe it’s time for Francie to put all of her knowledge to work and crown herself Queen of the Isle.

Lani in One Foot In The Sea (And One On The Shore) (fc. Madelaine Petsch): Daughter of Melody

Melody’s daughter, the first second generation child to be born, and to go to Auradon Prep.  She’s half part of Auradon (because of Eric’s kingdom) but also Atlantian which is still separated, and she’s trying to unite the two but is being torn apart by it

Trina Tremaine in I’m Still Here (fc. Lana Condor):  Daughter of Lady Tremaine

a daughter of Lady Tremaine, much younger than the other two, only a couple of years older than Dizzy.  She and Dizzy are extremely close but are separated when she’s brought to Auradon.  Probably also treated badly by Lady Tremaine, ends up becoming quite close with Cinderella during that first family day where everything went wrong.

Rosabelle in The Rose Has Her Thorns (fc. Zoey Deutch): Daughter of Gaston

A daughter of Gaston, Gil’s little sister, Ben decides that he can’t bring other VKs and not the child of his parents own villain, so Rosabelle gets brought to Auradon.  I don’t know much but I’ve decided that she becomes quite close with Belle (I think that she would have been majorly mistreated by Gaston and Belle can tell as soon as they meet) and Adam really hates that.  Her hair is naturally blonde (like Gil’s) but she dyes it on the Isle.

Titania aka Tia in Two Roads Diverged (fc. Emily Rudd): Daughter of Fairy Godmother

in a slight AU where the Beast is honestly really dark, FG has twin daughters and he forces her to send one to the Isle (I’m not sure if it’s specifically because they’d be magic or if there’s a one child rule because he doesn’t want anyone being able to overthrow him) but FG hides her away somewhere instead?  Or she does go to the Isle but then escapes in D3 when the VKs and Pirates leave after visiting Hades.  I have very little plot beyond that but in D3 when Jane and co find the statue of FG, Jane thinks of getting the wand, but when she goes in she sees this girl taking it (and not being stopped by the shield because she has the same blood) and discovers that she has a twin, and then they overthrow the beast or something - introduces herself to everybody as Tia because of the power of real names

Noelle in Only Love, Only Hate (fc. Kiernan Shipka): Daughter of Elsa

Absolutely hates Auradon because they tried to send Elsa to the Isle, but is forced to attend Auradon Prep for political reasons and she and Ben fall in love, kind of a Romeo & Juliet vibe - title comes from the Romeo And Juliet quote “my only love sprung from my only hate”

Myra Frollo in Hellfire (fc. Elle Fanning): daughter of Claude Frollo and Cinderella (nonconsensual). 

Because of the Beast’s hatred of magic and the time period of both Hunchback and BATB, Frollo is not sent to the Isle (the Beast claims that he’s a hero for his valiant effort to protect the city from witchcraft). Frollo assaults Cinderella, and Myra is the result. Beast grants Frollo custody but she occasionally gets to spend time with her mom. She’s very close with both Cinderella and Chad, but not Prince Charming. Chad knows that her father is abusive and it’s a big part of why he is so opposed to VKs coming to Auradon - if Frollo isn’t considered bad enough for the Isle then how horrible must those villains and their kids be

Lyssa in One Last Hope (fc. Vanessa Morgan): Daughter of Meg and Hercules

daughter of Hercules who the fates predicted would be evil and is therefore sent to the isle as an infant and is raised by Hades but then Ben includes her in the group being brought to Auradon

Charity in A Twist In Truth (fc. Sabrina Carpenter): daughter of Belle and Prince Charming

Doesn’t know that Adam isn’t her father until a curse is placed on his bloodline and she realizes that she’s unaffected

Faith in The Hands Of Fate (fc. Paris Berelc): daughter of the Fates (their scissors are seen in the Villain Room of the museum) who was raised on the Isle

Blair in A Change Of Fate (fc. Adelaide Kane): Merida’s adopted daughter

Looked down on by the rest of Auradon because she doesn’t have the proper bloodline)

Cheryl in Daughter Of The Devil (fc. Margaret Qualley): daughter of Chernabog

Gloria in Mother Knows Best (fc. Camila Mendes): Daughter of Mother Gothel

Hannah in Wish I Were Here (fc. Kat McNamara): Daughter of Hans

Hannah never knew who her mom was, and knows that her dad has no magical abilities whatsoever, but when she steps foot into Auradon she discovers that she can do magic and finds herself on a quest to learn the truth about her past

Sonya White in Ties That Bind (fc. Grace Phipps): Daughter of Snow White (in the same series as NAME and Name)

Sonya and Snow both consider Evie family and Sonya is determined to do whatever she can to help Evie - including getting the wand

Anissa Radcliffe in Ties That Bind (fc. Maia Mitchell): A daughter of Anita and Roger Radliffe, from the same series as Sonya and Layla

Layla in Ties That Bind (fc. Naomi Scott): A daughter of Aladdin and Jasmine, from the same series as Sonya and Anissa

Casseopia in Where I’m Meant To Be (fc. Mackenzie Foy): Daughter of Meg and Hercules

Raised on Olympus by Hera and Zeus, their demand after Hercules turned down godhood, and recently sent to Auradon Prep

Isadora Darling in Second Star To The Left  (fc. Olivia Holt): Daughter of Jane Darling

After Adam became king of Auradon, he had Fairy Godmother put up a barrier around Neverland, just like the one around the Isle, but no one knows where it is - somehow, Isadora finds it and makes it to the other side.

Maisie in Who Is The Monster (And Who Is The Man) (fc. tbd - open to suggestions): (full name Margaret), daughter of Esmeralda and Phoebus.

Because of his hatred of magic and the time period of both Hunchback and BATB, the Beast sends Esmeralda to the Isle (a few years after the villains, when she’s three months pregnant). She names her daughter Margaret because it was the name that Phoebus wanted. When Ben finds out that she’s on the Isle, he thinks it’s absolute bullshit and immediate includes Maisie in the kids to be brought to Auradon

Hayden in Dying Is An Art (fc. tbd, open to suggestions with purple, green, or blue hair): Daughter of Maleficent and Hades, raised by Hades

Forever Tag List: @themildestofwriters​ @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz​ @dancerdramatic14​ @seaweedhufflepuffocs​ @iceandwaterfairytail​ @agb-random @foxesandmagic - want to be added to the forever/fandom/character tag lists for fics or all content?  shoot me an ask!

Descendants Tag List: @katiesocs

[fortysevenswrites]

Masterlist: FortySevens’ Kastle WIPs

Since @ck90 keeps CALLING ME OUT because she is the most enabling of enablers, I thought it would be a fun idea to compile a complete masterlist of my upcoming WIPs for after I finish @nxbodygoesafterher’s birthday fic, And World Peace (chapter 4 coming soon).

So, here’s the rundown, in no particular order, other than this is the order that they’re in on my computer.

Also ck90, no spoilers, because I know you know a lot of what all this vague nonsense means ;-)

FortySevens’ WIP Masterlist New Orleans Bath Bombs Post DDS3, Karen flees New York because Fisk puts a shoot-to-kill order on her head, and she accidentally gets adopted by the Thieves Guild. A year later, with a little help from Leo Lieberman, she’s reunited with Frank. Also with the help of the Lieberman clan, Karen gets to help one of her friends pull his head out of his own ass.

The Fourth Of July Post TPS1 - Inspired by my sister’s dog’s reaction to the Fourth of July fireworks show on the Charles River in Boston - Right before the Fourth, Karen realizes that Frank should NOT be in NYC for the holiday and takes him out of town for a couple days.

The One With The Time Loop Inspired by @the-restless-brook’s time loop extravaganza, except this time it’s Karen who’s stuck reliving the mess at the hotel and enlists a very confused Frank and David’s help breaking the cycle.

Two Franks, One Brain Cell Post TPS2 - Frank from the future travels back in time to save Karen’s life, shenanigans ensue. Present Frank is NOT happy with any of this, and Karen knows it. (Inspired by @superrpowerlesshuman’s gif of Karen and Frank in the hospital in DDS2 and TPS2, except it was running with DDS2 Karen staring down at TPS2 Frank, and then went ahead and broke my brain thinking about how to make time travel happen).

What’s In The Folder? Post TPS1, Road Trip AU - Karen is summoned to the DA’s office for a meeting with Blake Tower, who gives her a folder with information about [REDACTED]. Karen and Frank go on a road trip to [REDACTED].

Blue (aka the one that’s @ninzied’s fault) DDS2 through TPS1 - It’s not until Karen Page locks eyes with Frank Castle in his hospital room that she realizes just how much shit she’s in. In which soulmates see in color when they lock eyes the first time.

Mud For reasons I have yet to determine, Karen gets covered in mud. It’s Matt’s fault. Karen and Frank share a shower.

The World’s Most Awkward Dinner Party The third in the series that started with I Wouldn’t Know Where To Start and There Is No Easy Way To Explain, featuring, well…the world’s most awkward dinner party. Frank agrees to it because he’s petty and it IS the cutest.

5 Times: Karen Finds Frank In Her Bed Post TPS2 - Exactly what it says on the tin. Frank sure has a weird way of apologizing…

The Underworld Fic Post TPS1 - Frank adopts a dog, but…it’s not actually a dog. Karen’s the only one who can see that though. It causes a lot of problems, and Frank insists in following Karen down to the underworld, even if she doesn’t know if she’s going to be able to get him out in the end.

Beth Quinn Takes A Vacation Post TPS2, Beth wins tickets to the Rangers/Red Wings Game 7 in New York, and while she’s in town she decides to see if she can find out if Frank is all right after all the season 2 nonsense. She goes to Karen to see if she can find him. Hilarity ensues.

Five Times Frank Brings Home Very Large Foster Dogs (And One Time He Comes Home With A Kitten) Exactly what it says on the tin.

The Big Indulgence Post TPS1 - Karen befriends Sarah Lieberman, Darcy Lewis, and Pepper Potts, in that order, and her life is turned upside down because of it. Frank starts going to group regularly and meets Bucky Barnes, and his life is also turned upside down. Featuring a couple different Marvel crossovers, a classic case of miscommunication, found families, lost families, lost AND found families, [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED] causing some serious problems for our heroes, and [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] in a relationship.

The Sequel To TBI Found families, weddings, Hawaiian vacations at Tony Stark’s compound, oh, and Frank Castle might actually be a little bit [REDACTED].

The Other Big Indulgence (aka The Camp Fic - inspired by my trip to California this summer for what I call Camp Week) Post TPS1 - Karen is assigned to report on a summer camp in Vermont that burned in a fire five years ago and is finally reopening at their home location. The only reason the camp is letting her come while campers are around is because she grew up there, but Karen is reluctant to go because her family history is clearly very complicated. Frank volunteers to go with her to help keep her sane. Tropes galore, including fake-to-real relationship, bed-sharing, cuddling, etc. Oh, and some WHAM.

Star Trek Discovery Season 1 AU The one in which Karen is the comms officer, Frank is the head of security, and the Discovery not-so-accidentally ends up in the MirrorVerse. It gets even more complicated from there.

So that’s what I got. Excited for any one in particular? Let me know!

[sakurastyles]

☆*ﾟBIOGRAPHY: THAÍS

Salomé Thaís da Silva Arias

@twotiedships honestly idk why anyone’s worried?? she’s just another gold-digging beard ??

@tpwkbabe HARRY AND THAÍS ARE THE NEW GEORGE AND AMAL CALLING IT NOW!!!

Nicknames: Thai, Lo (to her Colombian family), S, Guayabita (to Juanlu)

Occupation: Immigration lawyer

Alma Mater: Received her undergraduate degree from Johns Hopkins University in linguistics and pre-law, finished her juris doctors from Harvard University, currently studying for her masters of law at Georgetown University.

Birthday: June 9th, 1994

Likes: América Latina (especially her home countries, but she’s biased), learning languages, stained glass windows, hand-rolled cigarettes (or spliffs), honeysuckle and jasmine, the pains au chocolat in Paris, the smell of saltwater and/or freshwater, cooking (especially with someone else), old vinyl records, thrift shopping, photography, traveling, museums (d’Orsay in Paris is her favorite), trashy reality TV, Picasso, gold jewelry, hard cider, peach flavored lip gloss, postcards, elephants, horror movies, crucifixes, passport stamps, guys with tattoos, humid climates, tropical fruit (mango, passion fruit, banana, guarana, guava, kiwi), fig jam and brie cheese, androgynous girls, knitting, rap music in other languages (especially French rap), reggaeton, not wearing makeup, public transportation, sand beaches, cobblestones, sunsets, mom jeans, Harry Styles.

Dislikes: Donald Trump (especially his immigration policies), INS / ICE, racism and xenophobia, the far right, jetlag, losing friends, losing her possessions, student loan debt, rips in her tights, red wine, driving, black and green olives in any circumstance, tight clothing, class barriers, being late, brown liquors, winter, motion sickness, long layovers, pretentiousness, social media, running out of film, creepy men, gentrification, scabs (she always picks at them), sometimes her husband.

Faceclaim: Luma Grothe

Ethnicity: Half-Colombian, Half-Brazilian-Portuguese

Nationality: Both a Brazilian and Colombian national, she received her permanent citizenship to the United States following her marriage in 2014.

Born: Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.

Raised: Medellín, Colombia.

Resides: Washington, D.C., United States.

Languages: Portuguese, Spanish, English, French, can read basic Latin, and she’s recently begun studying Mandarin Chinese.

Romantic Orientation: The only serious romantic relationship she’s ever had was with her husband, so the concept of romantic orientation is still very confusing and new to Thaís.

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Kinks: Daddy play/age play, pet names, dominant partners, choking, spanking, being held down/tied up, marks and bruises, masochism, exhibitionism/public sex, spitting, cum/raw sex.

Marital Status: Married to Caetano Rodrigues

Smokes: Yes (to both)

Alcohol: Yes

Political Affiliation: A registered Democrat, though she’s more far-leftist and radical than her party typically allows (basically a devout socialist/anti-fascist)

Religion: Catholic

Bio: She loves Brazil, adores it even, but something about Medellín will always remind her of home. She doesn’t remember much before Colombia, or the divorce that tore her parents apart, the one that drove her and her mother out of Curitiba and into the home of her tia and primos, family she’d never met before. A place that felt like a whole different world. She never saw her father again, or much else in Paraná, really. The wound’s still far too raw. Even if that singular, crystalline moment, the trauma of losing her father and the idea of what ‘parents’ were supposed to be, still haunts her, Thaís swears that the new family she gained made up for it. She finally had siblings, a brother and a sister, both older, both fiercely protective, and she grew up the way all little girls should - playing football and gossiping with friends and ultimately, happy. Until her mother left. Thaís was beginning puberty when her mother decided to seek work in the United States, leaving her only child with Tia Marlli and Tio Luis. Though she loved Colombia, and the home she had forged for herself there, the longing she felt for her mother never dissipated and she spent the majority of her formative years dreaming about the perfect life she’d be living in America. Unfortunately, despite her best attempts, Thaís failed to receive a visa during high school, though she worked hard at her aunt’s coaching to maintain high marks throughout her education. Instead of worrying about citizenship, she focused on university, and after her acceptance to Johns Hopkins University, she figured the rest would come easily. The culture shock of Baltimore had been a lot to take in at first, and she took a while to adjust and assimilate into American life. Her mother wasn’t all too far away in D.C. either, which helped, though it hurt Thaís to see the struggles she had been enduring, struggles that seemed very different from the American idealism she had envisioned in her head. She coped the only way she knew how - throwing herself into her schoolwork and studying diligently, with the knowledge she had to make a better life for herself, for her mother’s sake. Things at Johns Hopkins seemed pretty dull; until she met Gabriela, that is. Thick as thieves, it felt almost as if Thaís had gained another sister, one to study with and cry over boys with and practice kissing with. She even got to spend a semester studying abroad in Paris. Graduating early was probably one of her proudest achievements, only seconded to her Harvard law acceptance. Though despite her status as a student, Thaís’ status as an immigrant proved far more precocious and fearing the worst, she ultimately married American-born Brazilian hotel heir, Caetano Rodrigues, a relationship of mutual convenience. Thaís finally became a citizen and Caetano could get the wife his parents always demanded of him. Granted, it can be difficult to be with a man one hardly loves, but Thaís can’t complain, especially after he helped pay off her colossal student loan debt. After successfully finishing law school and passing the bar, she began practicing immigration law, representing people like her from countries like her own in a system that continuously puts them at a disadvantage. Much of her work is unpaid, though she doesn’t mind the grueling hours. It’s the emotional labor that’s truly taxing. She’s returned to college for her masters degree and continues to make strives in her career every day. But what she never anticipated was meeting a popstar and falling in love. Her education never prepared her for that.

FAVORITES

Location: Her family home in Medellín, Colombia.

Sports team: Either the Brazilian or Colombian national football (soccer) teams.

Music: Is she biased if she says her favorite artist is her cousin/brother, Juan Luis Arias, aka Maluma?? Other than him, she adores other reggaeton artists such as J Balvin and Daddy Yankee, all kinds of different rap (she’s obsessed with Kendrick Lamar), and some random bands here and there too (her favorite is definitely Glass Animals).

Shows: Narcos, How To Get Away With Murder, Lost. Anything that can keep her intrigued.

Movies: She always said Pulp Fiction was her favorite, but lately Coco’s given it a run for its money.

Artists: Picasso, Matisse, Klimt.

Food: Her avó’s cooking.

Beverage: An ice-cold Coca-cola (but it has to be in a glass bottle!)

Color: Green. Any shade.

[writingbeautifullyblog]

“15 Things You Didn’t Know About Al Capone ” by Lesley Patterson AKA Lady Opaque

May 29, 2019

15 things you didn’t know about Al Capone – by Lesley Patterson

Today I will reveal some exciting and lesser-known facts about the infamous, much loved, and most feared Prohibition Era Gangster and Crime Boss, Al Capone.

Alphonse Gabriel Capone was born to Italian immigrants Gabriele and Teresa Capone on January 17, 1899, in Brooklyn, New York City. His father was working as a Barber at that time, and his Mother Teresa took jobs as a Seamstress. Al was the fourth child out of nine, part of a large family, and a middle child among his siblings. The family was impoverished until Al was 11 years old, that’s the age he was when his father’s business started succeeding and making some profits. His father moved the family out of the dangerous slum area and into a more beautiful apartment in the Park Slope area of Brooklyn. You might say that “you can take Capone out of the city, but you couldn’t take the city out of Capone.”

Al was a promising student and good with his studies, but always the rebel, his educational years ended when he was 14 because he punched a female teacher in the face over a disagreement and was immediately expelled. Capone then works at different odd jobs around Brooklyn. Destiny called though when he meets his first mentor in crime, Johnny Torrio, and he begins associating with the local well-known smaller Gangs of the Forty Thieves, Bowery Boys, and Brooklyn Rippers. His vicious lusts had really taken root in him, and he continued to make contacts in the local Crime Organizations. His own more criminal, brutal behaviors started to blossom when he joined the well-known, most notorious Five Points Gang in lower Manhattan.

He then begins a job at a bar where he met his second mentor and fellow Racketeer, Frankie Yale. It was during his time there that he received the legendary scars on the left side of his face. He’d been working at a night club when he said something to a woman who was very displeasing to her, so her brother proceeded to take a knife and cut Capone’s face with it. People begin to call him “Scarface.” After that event, Capone would often hide the left side of his face from exposure during photographs and would talk about his “War Wounds.”

All too quickly though Al was again rising up the ranks in the Mob World and continued to make more illegal contacts. At 20 years old Al moves from New York to Chicago to become an Enforcer for James “Big Jim” Colosimo. He then works as “security” for a Brothel but ends up contracting the disease Syphilis, for which no treatment was ever sought. In 1923 he made a purchase on a cozy house in the city’s South Side for himself and his young wife, Mae Josephine Coughlin. Within just 10 years Al’s name started showing up in the Sports section of the local Newspapers where he was being hailed as a Boxing Promoter. His boss, “Big Jim” was murdered on May 11, 1920, and Al himself was once again suspected of committing the crime. His aforementioned violence had really started to rage from within, and Capone was utterly consumed by it. He was known in the Mobs for his brutality and ruthlessness, often going the extra mile to destroy a rival. During his time spent bootlegging he was said actually to blow people up in their breweries. “I have built my organization upon fear,” he’d proudly proclaim.

Johnny Torrio ran the most important organized crime group in the whole area, and he took Capone under his wing. One of his jobs was to focus on working out deals and the agreements for negotiations over Gang Territory. In January of h1925 Capone suffered an attack that left him wary and daunted, but not seriously hurt, and 12 days later Torrio was also assaulted and was shot multiple times. After he got well Torrio gave all control of the Criminal Organizations to a 26-year-old Capone. He was now the Big Boss and ran everything from the breweries to networks for transportation that stretched into other countries. He did it all with apolitical protection and the support of law enforcement. The people loved him, seeing him as a “Robin Hood” character because of his generous and frequent donations to local charities. After more murders and due to ensuing political wars, the need for protection for the bootleggers had become too, and this made Capone flee Chicago.

It had gotten out that Al allegedly gave Chicago’s Republican party William Hale Thompson $250,000 and supposedly a discussion had opened up about support for the illegal bars and breweries belonging to Capone. He bribed the politician with intentions of taking down Bugs Moran, who was the leader of a rival gang. All of this ushered in the 1929 Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre in which several people were killed when Al ordered a hit out on Bugs and his associates slaughtered seven of Bugs’ men while posing as officers of the law. The victims were ambushed, lined up against a brick wall, and shot to death. It later got out that Capone was responsible for the assassination and the local public who had once so revered Capone for his kindness and charity now saw what a monster he really was, and this resulted in the decision to try to lock him up and throw away the key, beginning Capone’s downfall.

Capone did indeed spend some time in jail for other much smaller crimes but was ultimately granted release when enough convicting evidence could not be found to persecute him. Al was excellent at not leaving traces and often used money orders instead of banks for his more significant transactions. This was so no one could tie money from the Gang’s forbidden bootlegging business in with him, as that’s where most of Al’s unlawful fortune and profits came from. Bent on catching Capone a Prohibition Agent named Eliot Ness assembled a team of trustworthy, steadfast agents who happened to be known as the “Untouchables” as they would not accept bribes and would not allow themselves to be bought off of the case. Ness and his team successfully raided several of Capone’s unlawful “businesses.” During this time Al repeatedly tried in vain to put a hit out on Ness, but it was always a fruitless failure, and Ness was never assassinated. Ultimately Ness was never able to catch Capone for his illegal activities regarding organized crime, but Ness did aid the IRS in popping him for evading his taxes, and he was sent to Atlanta U.S. Penitentiary in May of 1932. Due to suspicions and gossip of his manipulating and trying to bribe or pay off the other inmates, along with stories of him receiving special treatment, Capone was eventually transferred to the notorious Alcatraz Federal Prison. During his stay there, he was the victim of a stabbing incident and was wounded, but lucky for him, the wounds were minor and not fatal in nature.

Al was then transferred from Alcatraz and placed into custody at the Federal Correctional Institution at Terminal Island in California where he served the rest of his sentence for contempt of court charge. He spent the last year of his imprisonment in the Alcatraz Prison Hospital. Finally, he was officially released on November 16, 1939. However, by then he was in serious ill-health from the severe untreated case of paresis (or late-stage Syphilis) that he was just a shadow of his former self and became severely lacking in his mental faculties. His brain had literally begun to erode, and he was very pathetic and spent most of his time in confused, bewildered states and was utterly mentally unstable and depressed. Once finally paroled he was referred to a physician at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore who’d examined him and concluded that Capone now only had the mental capacity of a 12-year-old boy. Despite this, Hopkins denied Al any treatment because of the notoriety and severity of his crimes. However, Union Memorial Hospital was willing to accept him, and Capone was so appreciative of their medical care and helped that he even donated two gorgeous Japanese Weeping Cherry Trees to the hospital in 1939.

Capone left the hospital on March 20, 1940, and traveled to Palm Island, Florida where his mansion was located where he spent the remaining days of his life with his wife and grandchildren. He suffered from a Stroke on January 21, 1947. He had started to come around and was recovering until catching pneumonia. He then deteriorated further and went into cardiac arrest on January 22, and just a few days later at 48 years of age Capone died on January 25, 1947, in his home, with his loved ones gathered around him.

We want to learn more about Al Capone because we are inspired by his success, talent, ambition, brute-force, and hardcore lifestyle. If anything, this was a stubborn man who survived for a long time in dangerous circumstances, even after the repeated attempts made to take his life. He may have done it in an entirely unlawful way, but Al Capone was an intelligent and accomplished, high-powered, successful businessman. He had a passion for power and pursued it to the fullest. He’d amassed a very impressive Net Worth of around $100 million as of 1929, which today with inflation considered would be approximately $1.3 billion. Capone once said, quote “I am just a businessman, giving the people what they want. So, it’s time now to take a look at the ultimate Italian Mafioso Archetypal Legend with the 15 things you didn’t know about Al Capone.

Number 1: He was expelled from school for punching a female teacher in her face.

Capone was a good student and did well in his studies, but he disagreed with the strict rules being enforced by his Catholic School. One day when he was just 14 years old he struck a female teacher in the face over a dispute they were having. He was immediately expelled and never returned to finish his education. Instead, he begins joining smaller gangs like the Bowery Boys, the Forty Thieves, and the Brooklyn Rippers. He also took on many odd jobs including working at a bowling alley and a candy sweets store. It was after joining the gangs that he started to become involved in criminal activities which peaked when he met his first mafia mentor a crime boss named, Johnny Torrio. Capone decided to join a more massive gang and teamed up with the notorious Five Points Gang of Manhattan, New York City. From there he became heavily involved in even more illegal and severe activities and began to earn his own renown amongst his criminal peers.

Number 2: He pioneered and opened the very first Soup Kitchen for the poor in Chicago during the Great Depression.

The Great Depression was a severe worldwide economic depression that started in the United States and occurred in the 1920s and lasted throughout the late 1930s. It was the most far-reaching financially related epidemic of the entire 20th century. It began due to a nose-dive in stock prices that started at the end of October 1929 and was later appropriately coined as “Black Tuesday.” The effects were severe for both the rich and poor alike when finances from personal income, tax revenue. Profits and prices plummeted, along with International Trade coming in at deep under more than 50%. Unemployment in the U.S. alone escalated by a devastatingly, nose-bleeding high of 25%, with some countries rising up to 33%. People suffered greatly because there were not enough job sources to meet their basic needs. It was during these high-reaching, despairing times that Al Capone officially opened the first original Soup Kitchens for the poor in his city of Chicago. He was a pioneer who paid for everything to provide food to hungry and starving people who were suddenly without a source of food and rendered without any alternative income source. They literally had nothing, and Capone must have genuinely sympathized with them as he championed for his city’s people and showed an innovative, smart form of compassion and humanitarianism in a time of immense need.

Number 3: Capone grew up impoverished, but his family was law-abiding and respectable people.

Capone’s mother Teresa and his father Gabriele were Italian immigrants who came to America with hopes of making a better life for themselves and their children. They were an everyday, typical type of family and were very hard-working. His father was a barber and his mother a seamstress, and they were honest, folks who followed the law and were very devoted to their Family. Capone was not born into a life of crime, he got into it on his own and worked his way up in the world of criminal organizations. He made new contacts and with the aid of his many mentors, made it all the way to the top of the underground syndicates as a crime boss in a self-made empire that he owned and managed vivaciously.

Number 4: The Prohibition played a significant role in Capone’s amassing his fortune.

The Prohibition and the laws being enforced regarding alcohol consumption that made it so hard to obtain are a big part of how Capone made most of his money. He was so deeply involved with the illegal alcohol industry that he was known for blowing up bars, which he wouldn’t hesitate to do if they refused to buy alcohol from him. He eventually rose to power after his boss Johnny Torrio fled the country and gave control of the bootlegging to him. Capone was quoted as saying, “I am like any other man. All I do is supply a demand.” Despite all of this Capone had also stated to a journalist Howard O’Brien he was actually against Prohibition regardless of what most people thought. “It’s a lousy racket for the retailer, “he complained. “He’s got to work twenty hours a day and spend everything he makes to keep the cops off him.”

Number 5: His Net Worth today is valued at $1.3 billion.

It’s said that Capone was managing over 600 gangsters, all of whom were under his control and who helped to protect his business from rival gangs. Due to inflation, his criminal empire would be worth about $1.3 billion today. He liked to show off his fortune and loved the more beautiful things in life. When entertaining he was known to go all out on everything. He wore the most expensive, flashy clothing and jewelry that he could find and was very obsessed with it. He really enjoyed smoking fine cigars, and he has said to treat guests with experiences worthy of the book “Arabian Nights” and indulging them with silver buckets of iced Piper-Heidsieck from 1915, then platters of food, one after another. Capone’s large mansion at 93 Palm Avenue in Miami Beach, Florida just sold for $7.43 million in August of 2016. As of this date in October 2018, his collections of expensive and valuable items are being sold in an online estate sale. The collection of items for sale include Capone’s premium Diamond jewelry, his coin collection, mink coats, various valuable household items, decorative items like Persian rugs, and even his record collection are all being sold online now for very high amounts. It seems that everything bearing his name or connected to him is worth a lot of money just by the association alone.

Number 6: Capone was stabbed in prison over a haircut.

In 1934 while serving his time at Alcatraz prison, his swagger almost got him killed. After being sent transferred to the jail for being accused of receiving special treatment from the last one he was in, Capone still acted like he owned the place. Just one week after arriving at Alcatraz Capone allegedly tried to cut in line in front of about a dozen or so other inmates during prison haircuts, but one guy just wasn’t having it. A convicted bank robber, James Lucas took Capone’s disrespect and sense of entitlement badly, and he reacted by walking right up to Capone, grabbed him by the throat and told him to knock it off. When Capone boldly asked him, “Do you know who I am?” Lucas lost it and replied, “I know who you are grease ball. And if you don’t get back to the end of that fucking line, I’m gonna know who you were.” After which Lucas proceeded to stab Capone in his back and face with a broken pair of scissors. Lucky for the Capone the wounds were just superficial, not fatal, but his attitude of entitlement nearly got him killed that day.

Number 7: Capone was responsible for the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre in Chicago in 1929 where at least 15 were killed.

Capone couldn’t maintain his professional businessman appearance forever, and on Valentine’s Day in 1929 he ordered his men to dress as police officers and round up rival mob boss, Bugs Moran’s men against a brick wall after ambushing them, and Capone’s men did as he’d ordered and shot to death seven members of Moran’s gang. About 70 rounds or so of ammunition had been fired and ended their lives. The assassinations were discovered by the Chicago police from the 36th District investigated, and while it was said that Capone had ordered the murders, it could not be proven. However, when the story hit newspapers and media people worldwide were shocked by the brutality of the massacre and begin to see Capone for the violent killer that he actually was rather than the friendly, successful and wealthy businessman who’d started a soup kitchen and donated to charities. This marked his downfall as the public demanded justice and the law begins working on ways to get enough evidence of his criminal activities so that he could be imprisoned for his viciously vile crimes.

Number 8: He was dubbed “Public Enemy №1” by Newspapers, and a legal investigation was launched against him.

The story of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and Capone did not sit well with anyone, and the Newspapers continued to report on it. The scandal ran deep and was a popular topic in the city and even nationwide. People demanded justice, so the government acted and launched an investigation into Capone’s criminal activities. When he failed to show up for court after being subpoenaed in March 1929, a warrant was put out on him, and police arrested him on charges of Contempt of Court. Capone immediately posted bond and was released but was detained again in May for carrying concealed weapons. He served nine months in prison when he was released on good behavior. In February 1931 he was sentenced to six months in jail for the contempt of court charges. Frustrated investigators couldn’t find enough evidence to lock him up for his committed crimes and an investigation was opened against Capone by the U.S. Treasury Department who later on found enough evidence to have him charged with Tax Evasion and this resulted in him being charged with it and then sentenced to 11 years in prison in June 1931.

Number 9: His family brought out the soft spot hidden within Capone, and he was a bit of a mama’s boy.

In spite of the hard exterior, Capone had a soft center, and it was his deep love for his family. He loved his wife, his children, his grandchildren, and most of all his mother. He’d remarked to Journalist Howard O’Brien that he never wanted his own boys to get mixed up in the criminal racket that he was involved with. In his office were framed pictures of his family, and during an interview with O’Brien he was, he was overheard as referring to himself as a “kid” when he spoke to his wife on the phone. Later when his mother also called, Capone put her as a priority and began to speak Italian while he talked with her. In a letter that he wrote to his son from prison, he told him to stay strong and that he really wanted to see his son and his wife again. He signed the letter with, “Love and Kisses, Your Dear Dad Alphonse Capone, #85.”

Number 10: Capone was very into refined fashion and collected suits and jewelry to show off his wealth.

Capone was known for buying the most expensive, lavish things that he could find. One of his favorite indulgences was his stylized appearance, so he often bought, collected, and wore expensive suits, clothing, and jewelry. He always had a very ornamented appearance, and his suits alone were imported from Italy and cost him $500 each, which now would be valued at about $6,500. He would adorn these with white pocket squares and accessorize them with precious jewelry such as Diamond pinky rings, platinum jewelry, jewel-encrusted watches, and much more. Recently in 2017, this gangster’s diamond and platinum pocket watch was sold in an auction for an astounding $84,375.

Number 11: Capone has become the Archetypal icon of a hardcore Mobster and has lived on through print and film.

In 1932 a movie loosely based around Capone was released, it was the original first version of the well-known, very popular “Scarface” films. The movie was such a hit that Director Oliver Stone later re-made it into the version that we all know and love today which was released in December of 1983. There is news going around about another, an updated version of “Scarface” coming out, but it does not currently have a solid release date though at first Universal Studios claimed that it would hit theaters in August 2018. The movie is being done by a new director and actors and is being highly anticipated by “Scarface” lovers the world over.

Number 12: Tom Hardy to Star as Al Capone in the upcoming film “Fonzo.”

Tom Hardy is so good at playing the villain that he’s been cast as Al Capone in the upcoming new movie “Fonzo” created by writer-director Josh Trank. This was announced in August 2018, just two months ago and is being highly anticipated by fans. It truly goes to show that legends never die. “Fonzo” will be focused around the icons battles with dementia after serving nearly 10 years in prison. It does not currently have a release date, but when Fandango tweeted about it, they announced that we could expect it in 2019. (The tweet was later deleted.) Regardless, the news of its release has excited and delighted “Scarface” and Al Capone fans everywhere, and people are eager to see this new portrayal of the Mob Boss Mafioso. Pictures have been released with Tom Hardy dressed in character, and they’ve become trendy.

Number 13: Capone used to get bags upon bags of fan mail, literally up to two thousand letters each week.

Capon has always been a robust popular personality, and when he was alive and at his criminal peak he used to get movie-star good-sized bags of it, receiving about two thousand letters each week. He was quite popular, plus he never shied away from the media but instead seemed to enjoy being in the spotlight. He often did photoshoots and interviews like the one he did for Variety in 1931. This edition featured the title “Capone Kids Gang Films” and was written by Lou Greenspan. The focus of the piece was the mob boss’s reaction to all of the gangster films that were being released at that time. He has a lot of fans, and they seemed enthralled by him, and that fascination has endured for decades, making him a supremely favorite gangster mob boss and an icon that is sure to live on in our hearts, minds, and culture forever.

Number 14: Capone’s long untreated case of late-stage Syphilis is eroded his brain and was what eventually majorly contributed to his death at the early age of just 48.

Capone had the disease of Syphilis, most likely contracted at a brothel that he ran. (Although he loved his wife he was still a philanderer with a hefty addition to women and sex.) The disease could have been cured with Penicillin, but he never received or sought out any type of treatment, and the condition significantly contributed to his fast detention in prison. During his last year at Alcatraz, he was staying in the prison’s hospital because he deteriorated so quickly, both in health and in mind. The severe case of late-stage Syphilis was eroding his brain, and when he was examined by a doctor it was discovered that his brain had suffered so much damage from the paresis that he was now left with the mental faculties of a 12-year-old boy and his mental health was also failing him. He spent much of his time in a confused, disoriented state of psychosis and was severely ill. Capone had a stroke in January of 1947 and was slowly recovering and regaining consciousness when he contracted pneumonia, It was downhill from there, and he died three days later, on January 25, 1947, at his mansion in Florida surrounded by his family. The official cause of death was cardiac arrest.

Number 15: Capone made the Mafia look attractive and cool which has gotten him a loyal fan-base and some major crime organizations of today are only active because of him.

Capone impacted the world by birthing a new, more refreshing image of an Italian Gangster crime boss, and thanks to him, some new major crime organizations have him to thank for them still being around. He fed the dirty underbelly of the criminal underground, and to this date, his stomping grounds in Chicago continue to suffer and have of the most considerable crime rates in the US to this very day. His legacy lives on in the hearts, minds, and fears of others. Gangs still fight over the same territories that he had done negotiations on when he was the reigning supreme king of the underground. We’ve seen groups and that particular street culture become increasingly popular, and rather than disgust its greeted with a response of ever-increasing fans who think that Capone was a sensational, bigger than life personality and actually even envy or look up to him. His memory will forever live on, in the works that he did, the violence which he committed, and the flashy executive style that he dressed in. Our culture sees him as a pop icon of sorts and idolizes him. He did one good thing for the world by creating his Soup Kitchen, as it inspired the entire United States to start offering this service to the poor and hungry in each State from then on. Capone’s memory has not even begun to fade, and he is majorly responsible for our present-day culture seeing criminals in a much more relaxed, glorious, “larger than life” light rather than as the villains, scoundrels, and thieves who break the law for their own benefit. “Scarface” was so iconic that he will never truly die, as his actions have painted and tainted history with blood, gore, and gang violence that will stick with us to the end of time. Al Capone himself said, “Once you’re in the racket, you’re always in it.”

There you have it, some interesting lesser-known facts about the Mafioso Boss, Al Capone. Now that you’ve learned more about Capone, we’d like to know: Which one of his actions or qualities stands out most to you? Do you think that Capone really sympathized with the charities that he donated to due to his poor beginnings, or do you think he did it just to present the image that he wanted to portray to the public? Let us know in the comments.

Still here? Here’s a bonus fact just for you.

Number 16: He was called “Snorky” as a nick-name by his closest friends.

Despite being renowned for his famous nickname “Scarface,” his best friends and those close to Capone actually affectionately called him “Snorky.” The definition of the word snorky is ritzy, flashy, a sharp dresser, and a fashionable, elegant person. He certainly was a very snazzy dresser and fit that description perfectly. Capone liked the term, and he wished to be known by it instead of “Scarface” as he felt that it expressed and emphasized his image as the wealthy and successful businessman that he always had wished to be seen as.

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“Pretty Little Liars” recap S7 Ep20: Til death do us part

Pretty Little Readers, this is it. The last PLL recap I will ever write…until the inevitable reboot in 2032 that follows the adventures of teenage twins Lily and Grace DiLaurentis-Fields. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This was a two-hour finale with buckets of exposition, so let’s dive on in! I’m glad this show finally upped their budget and gave Jenna a pony   We open on a deserted Rosewood street, where the Liars are all drinking coffee and bemoaning the drama-less state of their lives. It’s swelteringly hot, but all anyone can talk about is how boring everything is without any mysteries to solve. Oh, and Lucas tap dances by in a white tuxedo. And Jenna rides by in a decorated horse like she’s a circus performer. And then it starts snowing.  Is that snow? NO IT’S COCAINE!!!   The Liars look to the heavens, and the camera zooms out to reveal they were inside a snow globe, which was no joke my fantasy ending for this show. But who is holding the snow globe? Mona Vanderwaal, queen of the heavens, runner of the games, genius among geniuses. She’s locked up in Welby with only her snow globe, which she drops to the floor when she’s confronted by a black hoodie. She asks them if they are there to kill her, and she smiles that Mona smile. Then the opening credits run for the last time, and all the Liars do the “sshhhh” together. TOGETHER!  For real though guys, who is in this coffin?   We then cut to ONE YEAR LATER, and check in on the gang. Ezria is on the Warner Bros. lot (which is incidentally where they shoot the show- so meta!) because their book is being turned into a movie. They are also getting married in a week. Spencer is rescuing horses with Melissa and bonding with her, and Toby returns to town after a long Eat, Pray, Shave tour of the world. Spencer is rehabbing a cute pony named Bashful, who is skittish around everyone but her. Don’t worry, this will come back later in a big bad way. Emily and Ali are juggling twins, Lily and Grace. Also, Ali has the worst bangs and it’s so distracting I had to rewind this scene twice just to focus. Ali meets up with Pam Fields at the Radley, and they have a secret conversation about taking care of/loving Emily. Ali continues teaching English at Rosewood High, where she discusses literary endings (wink wink) with her class. She’s still teaching mini-bitch Addison, who disrupts the class and calls Ali a lesbo. Ali is in no mood, and grabs Addison after class. Addison isn’t scared of her, but she IS scared of Jenna Marshall, who is now a life skills teacher at Rosewood. What life skills is Jenna imparting to these children?! How to seduce men and women alike into doing your bidding? Firecracker dodging? I have so many questions, the first of which is, where do I sign up? Addison tries to sass Jenna by waving her hands in front of her blind face, but Jenna grabs her by the wrist like she’s Dare Devil and tells her that she while she can’t see, she can smell a bitch from a mile away. In a world where teachers can sleep with and marry their students without censure, I guess calling someone a bitch is small potatoes.  BITCH CAN SMELL   Meanwhile, things aren’t sunshine and lollipops with Hanna and Caleb. Mona is being discharged from Welby, and Hanna invited her to stay at the loft without running it by her husband. Caleb is upset that the woman who tried to push his wife out of a bell tower is now their new roommate, but Hanna knows that while husbands come and go, ride or die BFFs are forever. On cue, Mona shows up at their door and Hanna welcomes her. Mona seems fragile and forgetful, and tells them that with her new meds, she isn’t as sharp as she used to be. If this series ends with a neutered and sad Mona I will never forgive Marlene. Why is the wifi password Hanily?!   The Liars and friends meet up at the newly renovated Lost Woods resort, which Spencer and Ali are re-launching. Everyone’s gathered for a surprise bachelor/bachelorette dinner for Aria and Ezra. There is wine and laughter and memories, and everyone is having a good time…except for Haleb, who can’t stop squabbling. Spying on them from the bushes is a black hoodie, who turns around to reveal MELISSA HASTINGS…or is it? Everyone is enjoying drinks by the fire pit, when Emily remembers that this is their first night without the babies and drags Ali to their room for some sexing. Then everyone else pairs off to hook up, except for Toby and Spencer who decide to play scrabble like a couple of nerds. We find out that Spencer is going to law school, working at her mom’s firm, and rebuilding her relationship with her family. Isn’t it nuts that we’re 25 and have two kids?!  Tell it to my bangs: they’re already 45.   While everyone else gets a lengthy sex scene, complete with saxophone music, Emily and Ali press their cheeks together and touch legs because that is how lesbians have sex on Freeform. At least, they are trying to…Ali is feeling all sentimental while Emily is trying to get it on. I feel like this would be a totally adequate sex scene by itself, but pairing it with Ezria’s lengthy romp only highlights the double standard when it comes to queer sex scenes.  Nothing says sex scene like closed mouth kissing!   Despite this disparate treatment, let’s all take a step back and marvel that this series is ending with a happy queer couple, where no one is dead or heartbroken. It’s 2017, but there is still something delightfully revolutionary about the awkward gay jock winning the heart of the most popular girl in school and living happily ever after. It’s kind of lovely until you remember what they did with Maya and Shana and Charlotte. In a less romantic sex scene across town, Hanna and Caleb are still fighting while Hanna sits with her legs up, trying to conceive. Yup, these two dummies are trying to have a baby. And in sadder fertility news, Aria gets a phone call from her doctor and finds out that she can’t have children. Why is everyone so baby crazy on this show?! Y’all are 25, settle down. Aria wants to call off the wedding, but the Liars convince her that Ezra won’t care. She tries to keep it a secret, but ends up telling him the next day, and he responds as he should: that it doesn’t matter, and there’s more than one way to make a family. Melissa watches the Liars comforting Aria from the bushes, and removes her mask to reveal MONA underneath. Dun Dun Dun! I would love it if A.D. turns out to be a Russian nesting doll of masks leading to an empty hoodie. Mona Facetimes with A.D. and demands to know who they are. You know what would really take this party up a notch? Jenna Marshall on a damn horse!   The next night is Aria’s rehearsal dinner, and Hanna brings along Mona, which is rude as hell. You don’t just bring your crazy hyperadrenalized murderer BFF without RSVPing for her first! No one is more shocked than Ashley Marin, who separates from the Wine Moms to give Hanna a talking to about co-dependency and toxic friendships. The Wine Moms keep talking about that time they got locked in a basement, yet another spin-off show that we’ll never get from Marlene.  A toast to the best parent on this show: Chardonnay!   Emily sees Alison sneaking around with Pam and assumes that Ali is hiding something from her. She gives Ali the third degree until she reveals that Pam gave her the family engagement ring—she was planning to propose to Emily somewhere romantic, but instead she’s doing it right this second in her pug dog sweater. Ali thanks Emily for loving her unconditionally, even when she was a zombie bitch who communicated through stolen birds and old witches. Even when she was flying a plane in a Vivian Darkbloom wig. Emily says yes, and they kiss.  If you can love me through these bangs, you can love me no matter what   Meanwhile, Spencer goes back to Toby and they have a lengthy sex scene of their very own. Spencer steps out of the shower and finds Mona in a black hoodie in her room. Mona says “Déjà vu bitch!” and knocks her unconscious. Spencer wakes up in a prison cell, disoriented. She looks in the mirror and checks herself out, until the mirror Spencer starts moving on her own. Holy crap, Twincer is real! And British! Kudos to everyone who predicted this twist, I honestly thought it was going to be someone else. This British twin is Alex Drake, aka A.D. and she’s busted Mary Drake out of jail for a family reunion. Put some pants on, we need to talk about Spencer’s accent: it’s not just British. It’s Eliza Doolittle meets Burt the Chimney Sweep meets Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd. It’s SO over the top and terrible and delightful. Just like this British evil twin conceit: soapy and ridiculous and I am so on board with this nonsense. ‘Ello Guvnah! I’m your twin I is!   In a series of flashbacks, we get the sordid tale of Alex Drake: When Mary was in labor at Radley (in the 1940’s) she gave birth to Spencer, who was quickly whisked away by the Hastings family. So quickly in fact, that no one stuck around for Spencer’s twin sister Alex to be born. To buy her way out of Radley, Mary sells Alex to a fancy British family who raise her across the pond…until they realize that she is the baddest of bad seeds and dump her at an orphanage for evil geniuses. Flash forward, and teenage Alex is pulling pints in a bar where she runs into Wren. Wren can’t believe he’s found a British Spencer, and tells Alex of her true parentage. They fall in love (eww) and Wren arranges a meeting for Alex and Charlotte. Once the half sisters meet, they become thick as thieves, each finding the family they were searching so long for. Charlotte falls in love with Archer, and they proceed to double date their way around Europe. It’s like The Parent Trap, but with more wigs, murder, and asylum stays.  This is my Sarah Manning cosplay…fancy a shag?   But Charlotte can’t handle being away from the game, so she goes back to Rosewood to play with her dolls, where Mona murders her in the bell tower. Consumed by revenge, Alex sets out for Rosewood and picks up the game where Charlotte left off. In her quest to find out who murdered Charlotte, she gets a glimpse into the charmed life of Spencer Hastings, and wonders what could have been if she had that life. You know, that idyllic suburban experience where your father bangs every mom in town, you’re related to all your friends, and you spend your entire adolescence being terrorized by a maniac in athleisure wear. Ah, the stuff that dreams are made of! Alex starts cosplaying as Spencer and pops up in a series of flashbacks: Alex was the one who held Hanna when she was locked in that barn. Alex asked Toby for the goodbye kiss. Alex also banged Toby and fell for him. Soon enough, she decides she wants to be Spencer full-time, so she’s locked Spencer in her new dollhouse and takes over her life. She’s so into mirroring Spencer that she makes Wren shoot her in the shoulder so she has the same scar. She also uses Wren’s sperm to father Emily and Ali’s babies, before killing him and turning him into a diamond necklace. Which she wears around her neck. EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. I mean, it’s no bracelet made of teeth, but it’s still pretty bonkers.   Does this seem like a lot of exposition? Because it’s an insane amount of exposition. Alex isn’t revealed until at least halfway through this 2-hour finale, and she hits the ground running, checking off every unsolved mystery this show ever made up. Bitch can summarize! Alex heads off to Aria’s wedding, where no one notices anything different about her. Aria comes out in her bridal gown, and it is some wacky vintage nonsense that only Aria could cook up. Frankly, I’m surprised it was missing her signature leopard print pattern. It’s the last ever Emily Fields cleavage appreciation post!   Meanwhile, Mary tries to comfort Spencer by making her Peruvian chicken and assuring her that living life in a jail can be fun. Spencer begs Mary to release her, and Mary gives her a hug. Instead of bum rushing her birth mom out the door, Spencer cries in her arms. Once Mary locks the door, we see that Spencer has taken a bobby pin out of her hair. Someone is about to Nancy Drew her way out of this underground prison! Back at Wedding Central, Ezra still hasn’t shown up. Aria is crying Byron is threatening to beat up Ezra, and everyone is confused. Did Ezra have a crisis of conscience and decide not to marry the girl he seduced at 15? Of course not! Alex abducted him and threw him in a jail cell next to Spencer. Does Ezra help Spencer escape? Nope, he just mansplains lock picking to her with a pissy attitude. Back at Radley, the Liars are all sharing a room and consoling Aria. Alex climbs into bed and strokes Aria’s hair, telling her that they’ll be the closest of all. How did she find out about Team Sparia all the way in England?!  Team Sparia for Life   The next day, Alex meets Toby at the stables, where the horse starts freaking out because he knows she’s not Spencer. That, or she’s a vampire. Toby starts putting the pieces together. Later, Jenna meets with Alex and can tell just by smelling her that she’s not Spencer. Finally, Toby takes the book of French love poems Alex gave him, and realizes that it can’t be Spencer’s book because there aren’t any notes in the margins. Toby brings this information to the Liars, and everyone is like, “evil twin? Yup, sounds about right” and they go off in search of the real Spencer.  YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!   Back at the bunker, Spencer picks the lock and frees herself and Ezra. They try to escape from the bunker and run outside of the house…only to realize that they aren’t outside at all. The ceiling is painted to look like the sky, and there is fake grass and everything, but it’s just a dollhouse within a dollhouse. Mona confronts the Liars and tells them that Wren tried to kill her in Welby, but she convinced him she could help bust Mary out of prison. Mona has also tracked Spencer’s coordinates to Toby’s house, because she is in this damn game to win it.  Here I am, explaining this game to you dum-dums one last time!   The Liars bust their way into the bunker, where they stumble onto the classic twin face-off: Spencer and Alex wrestling, and trying to convince the Liars that they’re each the real Spencer Hastings. Oh, and Ezra hits his head on a rock. Toby grabs one of the twins and demands to know what their favorite poem is from the book, and the real Spencer (in classic Spencer fashion) starts reciting it in perfect French. The cops rush in and arrest Alex and Mary, and Spencer is reunited with her friends.  I’m the right real Spencer, you barmy old chaps!   The Ezria wedding gets a do-over, and everything goes smoothly, even Marlene King’s cameo as a photographer who didn’t turn off her cell phone. The Liars walk around the only square in Rosewood, and talk about how much they’ll miss Aria while she’s on her honeymoon. Spencer is back together with Toby, and Hanna reveals that she’s pregnant. They all hug and it’s very sweet.  So long Rosewood…you’re the 6th bitch at this table!   But what of Miss Vanderwaal? We find Mona living in Paris, selling antique dolls and making out with a beefy French dude. She steps into her backroom, where she has dollhouse decorated with two brunette dolls. The camera pulls back and we see Mary and Alex Drake imprisoned in a dollhouse of their very own. Looks like Mona won the game after all.  Praise be to VanderJesus, for ever and ever, amen.   Then the final scene is a rehash of the pilot opening, with Addison’s mean girls at a sleepover (with Maya’s cousin) waking up to find their queen bee missing. Nice try show, but I’m not spending another seven years with this hot nonsense. And that’s it: seven seasons of masks, wigs, doll parts, Grunwalds, and interchangeable white guys. Seven seasons of Shay Mitchell’s shiny pony-like hair and two facial expressions. Seven seasons of that same damn yellow top that Ali wore on the night she died a thousand times. I started this show the way most of us did, by reading Heather Hogan’s recaps and laughing along with the #BooRadleyVanCullen crew. I didn’t know then that I would go on to write recaps for Autostraddle and AfterEllen, nor did I know that AfterEllen would meet a cruel and untimely end. I didn’t know that I would meet my very own Twincer, Dana Piccoli, who would bring me here to the Bella Books blog to complete this ridiculous journey. To everyone who edited my work, gave me encouragement, and provided me with screengrabs (shout out to @PLLBigA) I want to say thank you. Bitch can appreciate! At its best, Pretty Little Liars was campy frothy fun with some serious heart. It gave the queers of the world Emily Fields and Paige McCullers and Alison DiLaurentis. It also gave us Ravenswood, Ezria, and oh so problematic treatment of Charlotte. Most importantly, it gave us an online community, a world of inside jokes and memes that bonded us nerdy, pop culture obsessed queer folks together. Visibility still matters, now more than ever. I will miss recapping this show, but more than that, I will miss the weekly check-in on Twitter, and laughing my face off at all your hilarious comments. I’m taking a break from recapping to work on my own writing, film my web series, learn how to fly a plane, assume an alias, speak to birds, and life-jack my twin. But just like Alison DiLaurentis, I’ll be back. I hope you’ve enjoyed these recaps over the past couple of years: I’ve enjoyed writing them and getting to know all you beautiful weirdos. Ending these recaps is a real mannequin leg to the heart. What else is there to say but…XOXO bitches! http://dlvr.it/PRGG7Q

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I’m going to talk about RWBY V4

Because why not?

A bit late to the party I suppose, but everyone is doing it and I do have some thoughts on Volume 4 of RWBY, so I thought I might as well get some things off my chest. I’ll be starting from what I disliked the most and work my way up from there.

Blake’s Story

To be perfectly honest I found Blake’s share of the volume to be somewhat unbearable, it doesn’t really offer anything new for her, it’s just a retread of what she went through the in the first three volumes: she runs away from something that troubles her and a friend has to pull her back and tells her she is wrong. She runs away from Beacon and her friends in a bid to protect them from the White Fang, but she heads straight to her parents? We learned a lot about Blake’s pre-Beacon life and the more I learned about it the less I like it, her and everything about the Faunus storyline. While I can’t say it exactly contradicts anything we knew about her, the reveal that she was the daughter of the then-leader of the White Fang and now-leader of Menagerie does not gel with what most people were thinking about her life. Most people thought she had to struggle and endure a lot for the fight for equality, but she grew up in a tropical paradise, in a giant mansion, on an island where the populations seems to entirely Faunus? The biggest problem with this storyline is that we never see any sort of racism against Faunus, Weiss, Roman and Cardin were the only people who showed negative thoughts against them, and even then it doesn’t feel like I think it’s supposed to. Cardin seemed like an asshole to everyone, Torchwick was too enjoyable of a character, and Weiss’ views seemed like they were retconned back in V2. She came to Beacon thinking that all Faunus were murderers and thieves and given the proper chance would join the White Fang without hesitation, then she later says she came to Beacon to make things right by the SDC Faunus workers? Even Menagerie, which we were told was overcrowded and kind of shitty actually looks great, easily one of the better looking and more scenic places in the show with tons of space to in the jungles to expand. Overall this makes the White Fang seem like nothing more than cartoon villain henchman who are villains just because the heroes need someone to beat up. There was a moment, however, where we were introduced to the idea that Adam was leading a splinter group of the White Fang, but that idea was killed not even a minute it was introduced.

Another issues is that Blake is the daughter someone who led the White Fang and is now the leader of the Faunus capital. The name “Belladonna” should be a much more known name, Weiss of all people should have called Blake out on that, but no one ever says anything about it, not even when her name was on screen of the Vytal Tournament for the world to see.

Blake and Sun also suffered as characters. Blake was just unpleasant in most of her scenes, being snappy and dismissive towards anyone who tried to talk sense into her, and while I would have understood this sort of attitude given the situation, the fact that they’re repeating the same arc for her won’t let me. Sun somehow got it worst because outside his last scene with Blake everything that come out of his mouth is terrible, it’s like the writers simply can’t write him as anything as being a shitty comic relief. I’ve mentioned it before, but the things I hated most about the SSSN vs NDGO fight was that it was nothing but bad jokes for the sake of them, and none of them hitting, and that seems to apply to Sun on his own. It’s like they made no effort to write him in any serious manner.

0/10 honestly.

Yang’s Story

At the end of V3, out of all the characters Yang had been unloaded with the most baggage. She lost her arm and she was left behind by most of the people she cared about, put that on top of previously established abandonment issues, she had the most work to do when it came to her own personal demons. Out of everyone, she should have been a gold mine of things to work with, but we got nothing from her. While the first scene with her was good at establishing where she was in life, all the issues she had were introduced, glanced over, and were seemingly resolved in no time. She more or less was given fifteen minute, and the only thing that really happened was that she was given a robot arm at the end of her first episode, and had it on by her second. That’s the exact thing I didn’t want to happen, and it really makes me think that the fact that she had lost her arm will never be brought up in any meaningful light ever again.

3/10 here.

Weiss’ Story

While Blake’s story was terrible, and Yang’s was disappointing, Weiss’ was boring and predictable. It went like I thought it was going to go, hit all the story beats I knew it was, and there was nothing I didn’t expect. Like Blake’s, it’s just redoing her previous story and adds nothing really new aside from Whitley, who seems like the most last-minute addition of a character I ever saw. The moment I saw him I more or less guessed what his role was going to be, just to be an obstacle in Weiss way who just happens to be a Jacques 2.0, and it just seems redundant, and I don’t expect anything much more than that from him. I actually even lowered my opinion of Weiss because of the time skip, since V4 was about 6-8 months after Beacon, but she spent all that time moping and staring out her window? She really did nothing during that time to further her own goals? She wants to run the SDC, but all she did during that time was be sad? It really makes me wonder if she actually has a plan for the SDC since she didn’t seem like she really worked for it, that she was just expecting it to fall into her lap.

Then there’s the summoned knight. On one hand, as a Jojo fan I appreciate her knight since it would make Weiss a Stand User (it’s just a great sword variant of Silver Chariot), but from a narrative perspective I hate it. Things like Dust, Aura and Semblances have always been vaguely defined, and the way Weiss’ powers work makes it look like it’s just magic and that she can do whatever the writers want. With what she had to start with, Weiss already had a very variable moveset, so there didn’t seem like there needed to be a power up like that, which seems like a separate power rather than a branching ability of what she already knew. Then there is tying it to her character development, but that’s something that should have been from the start instead of 1/3 through V3. They should not have introduced something like this so later into her character development if it was going to matter this much.

So 5/10 for her.

Honestly the WBY stories fell like filler for the most par with the obvious end goal of each one to get them to Haven and have them meet up with Ruby. Splitting up the team seems more like a novelty than anything else, like they did it because they could but never put thought into what to do with that. It’s just the tournament all over again. It presents interesting ideas, but the way it follows them up is a massive let down.

Ruby/RNJR/Oscar/Villains AKA Main Plot

While I disliked WBY’s part of the volume,I have to say I much more favorable view the actual plot part.

At first I was rather skeptical of Hazel, Watts and Tyrian,Tyrian in particular, but after his encounter in RNJR and Qrow, Tyrian is on a fast track to becoming a favorite villain of mine. He was an enjoyable character to watch and his interactions with the heroes were great, and the reveal that he has this fanatical worship of Salem to the point where her being disappointed in him is enough to drive him to tear-ridden lunacy was just fantastic, and it gives me high hopes for Hazel and Watts. This volume also did a lot in turning my opinion on Cinder around. I disliked her very much because she was always over confident and smug without me feeling that she really earned it, skulking in the shadows being vague and mysterious for the sake of it with master plans, even though most of her victories were more of a result of her opposition’s failures than her successes. They tried to play her as this all seeing chess master, but the writers but they had to stick her into the spotlight, but she was terribly boring and all the other villains around her were so much better than her. Then V4 comes around and she is the broken and mute cripple who struggles to even stand up, she is the bottom tier of Salem’s followers and is openly mocked by her superiors, and the Maiden powers she tore Beacon down for seemingly came with a devastating weakness she didn’t even know about. Back in V3 she said she wanted to be powerful and feared, but she is now the antithesis of that, even though Beacon was technical success for her, she ended up being the opposite of what she wanted, and I want to see where this goes for her.

Oscar was also something I want to see where it goes. This random nobody farmhand who seems to now share head space with one of the more mysterious characters in the show now being shoved into the plot could lead to some interesting things, and I like their interactions enough to see how this goes for them, and what happens with them and what this means for the both of them.

We also had a surprise moment with Raven and Qrow, and everything about that scene was gold. All I wanted from Raven was for her to be a piece of shit who ran out on her family because she simply didn’t want to there, and I was afraid that they were going to pull some “greater good” angle with her, but not did they do what I wanted them to do, but they also made her the leader of a tribe of bandits that go around and pillaging and burning down villages. Her entire conversation with Qrow makes me want to see her again and more of her view on the world and her relationship with the people in her past.

The remaining members of Team JNPR also each had great moments this volume. We saw Jaune’s own way of grieving regarding Pyrrha, and as a Souls fan I appreciate that his weapon is now just Ludwig’s Holy Blade, and while I would have liked to see how Ren and Nora were dealing with this loss as well, we were given a gold mine on their backstories and history together, and everything about this was fantastic in itself. Then through those flashbacks and the fights in the ruined Kuroyuri the show was able to take huge leaps to redeeming the Grimm as actual threats. The Nuckelavee is the kind of monster I wanted, this unsettling and powerful creature that is more than just a fodder mook, if they’re able to keep their monster designs on par with this, then I’d be fine with the heroes tearing through Beowolves by the dozens if we get more monsters like this.

There were a few problems, of course. I liked the globetrotting aspect of their journey, but seeing as how Weiss, Blake, Yang and Oscar all took much quicker ways to Have it loses its appeal real quick. The Relics is also a problem because it seems to instantly outshine the Maidens since they seem to be the exact same thing from a narrative view, and there didn’t seem like there need to be both at the same time.The Haven airships coming to find RNJR was also a bit of a cop out.

Then there is Ruby Rose.

I’ve already talked about this but I’m going to better explain my views. After V4 ended someone tallied up the total lines between each character, and they found out that had it not been for her closing narration, Ruby’s line count would have gone from most number of lines, to third, just below Blake and Jaune, which has led to some people complaining about Ruby’s role in the story and that Jaune was stealing the spotlight from her. Personally I don’t see it as this way, at least not entirely, since I don’t view the number of a character’s lines as a very important part of how much impact or meaningful they are in the narrative. For example, even though Sun comes in fifth almost every line he has is garbage and not worth the time watching him, and even though he is not in the top ten, I much more enjoyed Oscar’s side of the story than Blake’s, who came in second in line count.

I’m been rewatching Samurai Jack recently to get caught up with the new season coming up, and it makes me appreciate how much a character’s presence can speak for them without them ever saying anything at all, there is a lot of silence in those episodes, and more often than not Jack will have less lines than anyone else around him. “The Princess and the Bounty Hunters” is a good example of this, since Jack only show up in the last two minutes, he says nothing and you don’t even get a clear look at his face, but that one scene ends up being the heaviest and most tense moment in the episode because of how much weight he carries into the narrative.

Ruby’s problem isn’t that people are stealing screentime from her, it’s that she has little to none narrative presences by default, and this isn’t even a new problem. All the way back in V1 when she had her argument with Weiss, that seemed to put more focus on Weiss than her, and it wasn’t until the last few episodes of V3 did she actually start taking the initiative in the plot and had all those hero moments. For the most part she didn’t matter in V2 to the point where anything she did could have been done by anyone else and there would be no changes. The only time where Ruby’s actual character mattered was when she shared scenes with Penny, and those aren’t going to happen anymore, and while she did have those hero moments in V3, they feel more like she had them because she was the Default Hero instead of them being important to her, that she was given them because of course she’s doing all the cool stuff, she’s the hero so she gets them by default. I don’t even really like how they’re trying to set up this Ruby vs Cinder fight since that seems so default, when I’d rather JNR fight her instead.

Ruby Rose’s writing is less about other taking from her, and more about her just not being given much to begin with. You could remove Jaune, Nora and Ren from the show, but then Ruby would just be overshadowed by Weiss, Blake and Yang and their stories, and outside removing every other character in the show, that won’t make the writing for her better. She needs more narrative presence, she needs to actually be important and carry weight for the story, and until they stop writing her as the Default Hero and figure out what they want to do with her, any other changes they make won’t matter.

So main plot stuff gets a 8/10.

V1: 6/10

V2: 2/10

V3: 7/10

V4: Averages out to 4/10

Also a shout out the World of Remnant pieces this volume, since they were actually good. Back when WoR was introduced, I thought they were a good idea, RWBY had precious little screen time as is, so I this seemed like a good way to get around explaining things that the average person in-universe should know, but the ones were got in V2 and 3 were hit and miss, mostly miss. They either repeated information to the point of being moot or revealed plot important details that should have been in the show proper. The ones we got this volume were well informed, they told us details of everyday facets of this world, giving us what we needed so the show could dedicate itself to explaining on a more detailed level. I think we now know what the average informed citizen of Remnant should know, and I feel that’s what World of Remnant should try to accomplish.