#and at this point i dont care too much about my grades and schoolwork

[eowylesbian]

i picked such hard, high effort subjects in school just to turn around 2 months into fifth year and realise i probably won't even go to college because what i really want to do after school is just. sing in punk bands

[lez-exclude-men]

im in high school right now and i just... hate it. so much. ive been on 3 different antidepressants, the schoolwork is just too much, i really just despise high school. all the drama and everything, i just hate it. my parents esp my dad just tell me im too negative and emotional and need to change my mindset as if i like being sad all the time... does life get better after hs? and how do i make it go by quicker?

Apologies for the delay, I wanted to make sure I was in the right head space to answer this as best I can.

Spend your energy on classes you enjoy, not classes that you're told to take for college. You are living right now, and while planning for the future is important, overloading yourself for the uncertain future is bad for your mental health. A low (but passing) grade in a class you dont care about and are told you should care about isn't a big deal, I promise.

Figure out where the drama is primarily coming from. Decrease your social interactions with them, effective immediately. If they're your friend and you care about them, you can still maintain that relationship without being privy to their drama, it just takes some balance and practice. Are you feeding into the drama in any way? Reevaluate your actions and see what you can do differently in the future.

Find a hobby you love and that CREATES something. Seriously I can not stress how helpful this is with mental health, especially depression. Ideally this is something you can take with you to school, or at least look forward to doing once you get home. Make it part of your daily, or at least weekly, routine. When things get rough and you need a break from the negativity, throw yourself into the hobby. For me, it ended up being crocheting. I can whip up a hat in a couple hours. And when depression would tell me I was awful and worthless, I would make an imperfect hat and go, see??? It's not perfect, but I MADE something that does a thing. Even better if I could give it to a friend and it would make them smile-- bc they were holding an achievement of mine, complete with all its flaws, and loving it. And that external, unsolicited and pure joy and validation was easy to turn into something I could wave in depressions face.

As for making hs go faster, free up some time. This is advice that isn't really approved of by teachers and parents, but it honestly helps a lot. Is there a class that you're good in without trying too hard, that gives you a lot of homework? Ideally this is a class that you make an A in but wouldn't mind a B, or make a B but wouldn't mind a C. Now, look at the homework category in your grades. How much of your class grade does it make up? 5% (no joke I had a class like that)? Congrats! As long as you pay attention and study, you can get by with never turning in another assignment. Quit doing homework. 10%? Do assignments here and there, but again, just keep up with the class material so you do well on tests and skipping homework isnt a big deal. 20-50%? Do the math, and see how many zeros you can have before it has a major impact on your grade. Congrats! When you're having a particularly rough week, purposefully get a zero on the homework for this class. Just keep an eye on your grades. 60%+? Be careful. Be very careful. But you can still miss an assignment on occasion. Or, as the better approach is, on the lengthy assignments, do the bits that are easiest, and half ass the hard parts. Congrats!!!! By doing this you have freed up some extra time to work on your hobby, or sleep. Which brings me to my next point...

Prioritize sleep. There's a balance to be had, of course, but if you've already hung out with your friends a few times this week, say no the next time they ask and go home and take a nap. If you have an off period, find a comfy chair or corner somewhere, and set a timer on your phone for 20-30 minutes. Cat nap that bitch. THEN do whatever you normally do in your off period. Try to get at least NINE hours of sleep each night. Don't be one of those kids that "competes" by saying "omg I only got 4 hours". While this may give you some temporary social status as everyone ooos and awwws over your seemingly superhuman self, it's not worth it. Trust me. I was one of those kids and we were all dead inside. Get some sleep. It makes everything so much easier to deal with. That said, dont beat yourself up if you dont get enough sleep one night. You're already going to have a rough day, dont make it worse on yourself.

Your dad doesn't understand mental illness. Depression isn't an outlook you choose, but an uphill struggle to try and enjoy some small part of your life. It's rough, it sucks, but it IS possible to manage. Discard all negative blogs you might have or follow rn. Be careful in how much you listen to depressing music. It has a time and place, and that is not when you're feeling at your worst or your best, but when you're just feeling a little shitty and need the outlet to get through the day. Keep a journal. Be as dramatic as you'd like in that girl, no one is gonna see her. Just make sure to end each journal entry with two things about today that lifted your mood, and one thing (no matter how small) that you can look forward to tomorrow.

Things do get better after high school, but that doesn't mean you should just wallow and wait and pray for this to go by as quick as possible. You have a life, right now, that is waiting to be lived. It's time for some spring cleaning, and then off on whatever adventure the day brings!

You've got this, I believe in you!!! And if you want more advice or clarification or just want to vent, feel free to come into my ask box again or stop by my dms. I'm no therapist, but I've been where you are, and I can try to help in all the ways o know how.💖

[little2wiki]

22, 25, 26, 34, 35, 39, 43, 45, 49, 76, 61, 65, 70, 71, 74, and 85 for sage? aaaa im so sorry and i know it's so much!! if you dont want to, you dont have to do them all!

i should be good!!  

22. Are they a supernatural being? nah!25. What type a high schooler are/were they? that type of kid who would procrastinate on their schoolwork and pull an all nighter and still somehow manage to get a good grade26. Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won? surprisingly no.  its surprising because the twins are routey as hell34. Have they ever broken the law? yeah prolly/technically35. Do they own a plant? no, in his opinion they’re too frustrating to take care of and plants in Bellona have a difficult time growing for shit39. Do they have any tattoos? to him it’s tempting but no43. Where is their dream vacation? he’d love to go back to his home country for a vacation45. Are they a quick learner? depends on the situation?  yes unless if he was in a stressful and rushed environment49. If they could have an extinct animal for a pet, what would they have? horned gopher!  something about those funky little animals really appeases him61. What is their favourite book? i may have mentioned this at one point?  cant remember??  The Hunger Games65. What makes them smile? he really loves small and stupid jokes.  they’re simple70. What do you, the creator of this OC, like most about them? okay i really really love adding more animalish characteristics to my ocs that have animal traits.  like with Deer/Sage they shed their antlers in the summer like regular deer do.  things like this just appease me so much71. Who is their ride or die? Johnathan74. Who is one person that can always make them laugh? Johnathan76. Who would be their cuddle buddy? Johnathan85. Do they like to cook? yeah!!

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

Things that are hot and sexy (because i do them)

• being unable to cite sources no matter how long you spend on it or how long you try

• getting a boost of motivation to work but on the wrong thing

• actually don't mind doing school work and have a thirst for knowledge but hate failure and not having time to finish assignments

• "wow i can't believe i finished all my assignments for the week! So fast. I have time to study and actually perfect my work and get better grades" *gets more assignments* *cries*

• i can't meet my own high standards

• being so stressed because of mom that i have horrible mood swings and im in a constant state of rage and anxiety

• being relieved when my friends invite me to do things because then i see it as an obligation and im "forced" to go (even though they'd understand if i said no, i see it as an obligation for my own mental wellbeing)

• wanting desperately to help others but struggling to even take care of yourself

• i can do the work, i can handle the workload. But i can't handle the pressure of my mom checking my grades

• i know that I'm smart and i know that I can do it. Ive been working so hard and my work is paying off but i need my mom to trust me

• overeating due to stress and went on an etsy shopping spree. Had to force myself to stop "stress buying" stuff and "stress eating"

• my dumb little passion project went on hiatus because im busy. Which is fine but a bit dissapointing

• i love it here. I don't want to leave. I love the art program. The work is a lot but i love my classes and my friends and my life here. What if one day something horrible happens and i have to leave because its too expensive?

• everything in my life is going good but my mom stresses me out so much that it's no longer going good

• I'm sorry for being incompetent... Even on my medicine. I am much better off than before and i can actually think but. I can't focus and i often miss intructions on assignments unless i write down absolutely everything. Why am i like this?

• my high empathy problems are coming up again because im so emotional.

• i am fine on 6 hours of sleep a night now but i wonder how long that will last. I don't have enough time to sleep for 8 hours every night. And maybe its because i take too many breaks but if i dont take breaks, i can't focus and everything just because thoughts that don't make sense

• im so stressed. Please just let me get my work done. All i ask is to be able to just sit down, relax, get my work done. I want to do so well on the exam later this week that I bump my B to an A or just even a high B.

• at least i enjoy school. High school and before was... Much worse. I don't enjoy spending hours trying to find out how to cite very specific topics and i dislike that one of my professors is a big perfectionist and so i often lose points on assignments (everyone does) no matter how hard i try to make it perfect. And i dislike having to check canvas so often because its difficult to navigate and i swear they try to hide assignments from us. And i hate that i have so much work that some weeks i wonder if i can possibly get it all done. And i hate group projects and i hate writing boring essays. But i love my classes at least. And i want to do well. I will do well. I am going to make all A's if it kills me. I was a B/C student in high school with occasional A's. If i just studied more (i never studied), i could have been one of the best students there, i believe. I didn't study, but I'm glad I didn't because it didn't matter as long as I got ok grades and I passed. I enjoyed my youth (not that im not still young...not that those years weren't the worst). But now i have to make A's or at least high B's because I know i can and I have to prove to my mom that I can do it. Maybe if i get good enough grades, she will back off some. Then I can prove to her that i really don't need her "help".

• this is way too specific of a list

• i want a job. If only i had time for a job. I have a strong work ethic. Im a good little capitalist slave. Please give me mone- i mean. Work. Yeah... Work...

But I dont have time for a job. Im very thankful that i dont need one. But I need to grow up and get a job because it will help me in the future

• speaking of which....a job i applied for months ago just called today... A lite late, buddy. Im 2 hours away now.

• but god... I so want to work there. I hear its a great place to work and the owner is gay (aka, not going to be homophobic to me)

• i wish i had my suitemate/neighbor's life. Like loudly talking on the phone and slamming doors as loud as possible all day long? And she's an RA so she gets paid.

• im calling my mom soon and getting this shit over with. Also i have somewhere to go with friends tonight so we can kidna- i mean recruit ppl for the theatre club. Im no theatre person but i am there for my friend and to make props.

• i can't do it.

• but if i do this, ill be free....

• maybe a quick meditation beforehand. Maybe self hypnosis so i can emotionally numb myself for a few minutes... Idk if im experienced enough to do that yet... But I've been doing it for years so might as well give it a try

• have i really resorted to self hypnosis to deal with the stress of calling my own mother?

• am i really so weak that even though everything is going well, something as simple as my mom calling to check my grades once a week makes me so upset that I cry almost every day about it?

• i know what she is doing is not legal. But what can I do about it?

• my mom thinks that im incompetent as well. That's why she checks my grades. She thinks I can't do it. She didn't even think that I had the ability to live by myself. I proved her wrong there.

• im working so hard partly because of her. So why does me working hard and thus not having time to call make her upset?

• it will all be over by tomorrow.

• perhaps calling her on the phone in a public space would be better. Maybe if she realizes that im not just in my dorm....

Luckily, my mom cares a little too much about social norms. She's used against me this all my life but perhaps it could be beneficial to me.

•thats right. I can just pack my stuff i need for my work. Then ill meditate for a bit and take a tea break. Ill go take everything to a public place with lots of people and call her then.

• i don't want to bring my friends into this, it wouldn't be right. But i wish that they would just sit next to me while I was on the phone. For emotional support at least. But i wouldn't ask them to do that, especially since we haven't known each other long. But i think it would make everything better if i had someone else to back me up

• people must be sick and tired of these posts. Im sorry.

• my mom says she's proud of me, but she doesnt act like it. She used to trust me. When i was 16/17, she would say that its up to me, my responsibility, that I knew what I was doing. Now, im 18. Why does she no longer trust me? I am an adult now. It doesn't make sense. I'm more responsible than I was at that age and im an adult now. It doesn't make sense at all, shouldn't she trust me more?

• i check my own grades religiously. Why is it necessary for her to do so too? What does that accomplish?

• i have an A, 2 almost A's, 2 low B's (but i know i can get the grade up and im studying hard to do so) and one C (it was an assignment that everyone did poorly on and another homework assignment that i did poorly on because I was exhausted). I know a C is bad but it's my drawing class. My favorite class. I do well in there and i think I'm probably one of the better peforming students in there. The C was just a small mistake and since we have more work in there now, getting that grade up will not be difficult. But i feel like all of my hard work just doesn't matter anymore. It will not satisfy her either way. Even if I had all A's, she would probably still be upset that I didn't have high enough A's. One of my professors says that she doesn't give A's on projects because "mistakes happen in art and you have to accept it".

• heavy workload... Im fine doing it but... I can't do it well with the amount of time I'm given. If i just had the weekend as well and not just the rest of the week. If i had just one full day more.

• this weekend will probably be dedicated to next week's work if i can do it early

• i can't call her. It's too stressful.

• im lightheaded just thinking about it

• i have every right to be angry. I have every fucking right to be angry.

• my day should revolve around schoolwork and studying. My weekends should revolve around taking breaks and light workloads. But every moment of every day revolved around my mom instead.

• and to think... If i lived in a place where college wasnt so expensive... Perhaps she would leave me be. Perhaps my grades would be so much better and perhaps I would be happy.

[omgkatherpillar-blog]

What was Freud on about?

Ah yes. Sigmund Freud. A name that probably crossed our lives once or twice. I have encountered his name before in a grade 12 English discussion, but we were only able to tackle the concept of id, ego and superego. But in my social science class, we were able to dive deeper into it 

 I’d be lying if I say that I wasn’t bothered and shocked by his concept of psychosexual analysis of the self. To think that there was such a thing as penis envy or even kids finding pleasure with playing with their genitals at the age of 6. I mean maybe as a girl, our sexual drive and libido isn’t as high as that of boys. Perhaps they did it before. And then there’s this concept of penis envy. Let me just say, I have never once thought of having my own penis nor did I get jealous of my brothers having one. That’s just straight up weird girl.

Although, as weird as his ideas are, Freud actually made sense. As much as I hate to admit it, some of his connected concepts are ingenious. He was right at some points.  For example, the first psychosexual stage that he introduced was the oral stage. As a nursery student, I remember being stubborn, and I was unable to let go of my pacifier. I would still bring it to school and chew on it at times, until my mom had to take it away from me because “I’m already too old for it”. Years later, I developed the bad habit of biting my nails, and as shameful as it sounds, I still haven’t let go of that habit. 

Moving on, what I find very impressive and relevant about this topic is Freud’s enumeration of the 10 defense mechanisms. I could make a checklist out of that, and even have a tally for each self defense mechanism I use when I’m under pressure and stress. Kidding aside, knowing these defense mechanisms can help us understand ourselves more and even regulate our actions and emotions. Whenever I procrastinate, I always think “Oh it’s just self-care I dont want to stress myself too much about my schoolwork”. After the discussion about these defense mechanisms, I’ve come to realize that what I was doing was simply rationalization, that by linking procrastination to self care, it is justified. Now, whenever I’m procrastinating, I just find myself going like “Hay nako ano na naman kayang excuse ko this time?” Which really does urge me to do my work already. Moreover, it helps me understand people more. When we were kids, my brother would always be chastised by my parents about his habits and the things that he does. Afterwards, he would always quarrel with me, and I would always cry because I thought that he was just mean to me. Looking back to it, I’ve come to realize that that is his self defense in order to cope up with the stress that he was going through. 

 With that, I’d like to say that Sigmund Freud’s study should be taken with a grain of salt. 

[cyrokinetic-iceman]

Here's the one thing people who've never been subjected to a toxic and manipulative relationship don't understand: you literally do not have the power to say no. Sure, sometimes you can. "Can we have pizza tonight?" "No because we had pizza last night." "Ugh fine we'll get something different." But that's with simple things. There's really important times that you can't. You try, but you can't. "Can't you pay more attention to me? I really feel like you haven't been giving me any attention today." "Sorry, I've been studying for finals." "Well take a break and pay some attention to me, please? I miss you. We haven't been talking a lot lately. I feel like we're drifting. I just want to know you love me. I miss you a lot. You don't pay a lot of attention to me, so can you please just take a break and talk to me for a little bit. Even if it's only ten minutes because you really haven't been talking to me." That kind of language, it's manipulative. It makes you feel like you're the bad guy because how dare you be doing something important for a prolonged period of time. How dare you study for your finals. How dare you not devote all of your time to your partner. How dare you focus on yourself. It makes perfectly acceptable and normal behaviour demonised and seemingly selfish. So then you say, reluctantly that you really do have to study because finals are in three days and you don't really know the material (because anytime you sit down to study or do schoolwork, they're pestering you for your undivided attention) and you HAVE to pass these classes or you'll lose your scholarship, you already did worse than you should have last quarter (because, again, all your time not spent sleeping or in class was forced in them or you were guilted into feeling like a bad person) and you can't afford to lose a $17,000 scholarship because your grades flopped. Then the whining and the pouting happens and the crying and begging and "can't we just call for ten minutes? I just really need to hear your voice. I've been having such a she's time lately. I miss you so much, we need we get to see each other anymore because you're always at school and you never call and I just really miss you and I just really need to hear your voice." And you could put the phone down or exit out if Facebook on your laptop but you know in an hour when you take a break from your work to get a snack or something, you'll have 99+ notifications from them whining and crying about how you're ignoring them and how you're acting like you don't love them anymore and they feel like they're going to hurt themselves and they've been thinking about killing themselves and they don't know how much longer this can go on. So now you feel gross and guilty because look what ignoring them as done. So you call them to calm them down because you love them and you don't want them to hurt themselves and you don't want them to kill themselves and you'll do better to make more time you promise, even though what should only have been a ten minutes break from studying has now become a two hour frantic phone call of them sob/screaming about how lonely they feel and how they miss you and how things are so bad without you there 24/7 and how they feel like a burden to everyone and "oh I'm taking you away from your studying I'm such an awful partner I'm so sorry I'm so awful i should just kill myself. Just ignore me and do your schoolwork I'll stop distracting you, etc..." But of course if you hang up on them or tell them okay, you're going to go back to studying, you can't focus because you have this gloomy cloud over you of: are they going to kill themselves, are they going to hurt themselves. I can't let them go in this condition. So you tell them it's fine and that you can talk for a little while longer but by now it's already 11 at night and youve been talking for four hours and haven't gotten any studying done. Or instead of ignoring them, you tell them you can call for ten minutes but that's it and then you have to go, but they keep prolonging your conversation so ten minutes becomes twenty, becomes thirty, an hour, and hour and a half and you REALLY NEED to go, but you can't end the conversation so you just stop replying vocally because you REALLY NEED TO STUDY and it's already 10 o'clock because your class let out at 8:05 and you tell her you need to go but "oh just one more thing it's been so long since we talked like this" but really it's only been a few days. Or instead of calling you say you'll be online and talk to them periodically but the second you stop rapid responding to them because you're studying or doing schoolwork they flood you with sad messages or those stupid sugar cub stickers that messenger has of the link koala crying about how it misses you and you can't stand the pestering and the constant berating of how you need to make more time so you tell them you need to go and you love them but then they're crying because they've annoyed you. It's an endless cycle that you can't escape from. And when you try to tell someone that your grades are slipping because of a toxic relationship, or that your grades skipped because of a toxic relationship, and they say that your bad grades are no one's fault but your own, they neglect to acknowledge the fact that for six months you TRIED to study and you TRIED to keep good grades but it's impossible to do when your study time is engulfed by your partner demanding your attention. And even after you've told your partner that they're modeling toxic and manipulative behaviour (because you're fully aware of what they're doing but you love them so much you're willing to let the fix it), all they do is cry about how shitty of a partner they are and how they're going to change but you never see the change. And when you finally break up with them, they try to pin it all on you and say how they bottled up so much because they felt like they could never come to you because you told them to give you more space, but they weren't bottling up the petty things and instead bothering you with those petty things and hiding big things from you. And even when you tell them that you need to break up with them orbits going to kill you because you can't handle the constant back and forth of it all and you just need room to fuckinf BREATHE, they act like you're the bad guy and call you abusive because you 'ignored' them and yelled at them. But you only ever snapped at them because they know you don't like being touched, especially sexually, and you don't like being pestered for sex, and you don't like being pestered, and you don't like going out for long periods of time and after all week at school and work and over-socialising you need just a few goddamn hours to yourself to relax and recharge because you're never alone when you have two roommates. But they don't leave you alone, ever, that was the biggest issue, and they don't stop touching you after you've asked nicely FIVE SEPERATE times, and your anxiety is clawing away at your chest and you can't HANDLE it anymore so you yell at them to LEAVE YOU ALONE. And now they're crying because you yelled at them and the spark is gone and "do you even love me anymore. I feel like you don't want this relationship to work out anymore. I feel like you're not putting forth any effort for this relationship anymore. Don't you love me? Why dont you love me?" But it's always you spending money to go across the sound to see them and it's always you sacrificing your time to talk to them. And when THEY have a serious problem, YOU need to drop everything to help them and talk to them and make them feel better. But the second YOU feel like you're going to kill yourself or that you're suffering from some health issues to cause a lot of pain and you just need some support, suddenly they can't be bothered, it's always a "I'm sorry babe :/" and "wish I could help you feel better." But if you were to respond with just those it would be unacceptable and "you need to show you care about me more" It's an endless cycle of you not being good enough, you not doing good enough, having to do better, never being better, you'll never be better, you can never be better because they don't really want you as a person they want you as an item, a title. "This is my partner," they say, beaming because they have a partner. But it doesn't matter that YOU'RE they're partner, they just wanted one. They were desperate for a naive enough person to be their partner so that could feel accomplished. They make you feel great for the first few months, maybe even the first YEAR, but once it's just you and them, once you're isolated (because of them) from friends and family, things go sour. Everything is your fault always, all the time, even if it's not. It is. You don't spend enough time with them but you live with them, my god, how dare you have a life outside of them that demands your attention to be away from them for more than ten goddamn minutes. Three years of this and you're so used to it, so far deep into it that you don't realise it's making you sick, making you depressed, hurting yourself and distancing yourself from your friends. you stop trying to make plans because plans interfere with your partner and how dare you have a life outside of them, remember? Your body becomes policed by them because they wanted a partner, remember, they didn't want YOU. So you have to fit the mold they created for their partner. You can't have this you can't have that, you can't wear this, don't get this, don't do this. Be this image they have in their head and if you dare deviate outside of it, then you might as well drop out of college and go back to living with them all the time. That's what they want. They want you 24/7. Anything less is not enough, and if you dare point that out they "just really miss living with you and going to bed next to you and don't you miss that too?" I don't know where I was going with this but these thoughts were all just building up in my head and I needed to get them out because maybe someone else can relate to this and get out before it's too late. But anyways, there were a lot of things I could have done differently in my relationship, but none of it would have helped and in the end I did the right thing by breaking up with them and taking a year off of school.

[mental-health-advice]

Submission from America

My life is a spiraling mess, From my point of view. I’m extremely young and just growing into adulthood I’m scared, freaking out and I want to change my habits so that I can live a happy life and enjoy everything I do. I’m not all that confident with my physical nor mental health in a sense however I’m amazing and I’m not afraid to show it. I’m an extraordinary student can you can tell my looking at my grades (straight A’s) or asking any teacher. I’m quite talented and can do anything you ask me too, one of my biggest passion’s is art and I can do just about anything. I’m a sophomore this year going into junior year of high school I’m very mature and have been through sh*t , my dad cheated on my mom and left us 3 years ago and so now my mom works full time in a hotel and of course me being the oldest I get all the hard work. I’ve always taken honors and this year I took an AP class and I’m signed up for 5 AP classes next year!! I’m very intelligent, responsible, and respectful. This summer I want to become a better person so that my life will flow smoother. I’m a little disorganized and I do have major anger issues that I can seem to get past. I want to be more social for I’m quite an ani-social person I want to be fun prosperous and just the type of person that anyone would want to be with. I want to go to stanford university in my future but I know that will take lots of work to get too. I mean come on the average GPA to get in is a 4.18 again not impossible to achieve but fu*k bro that’s going to kill me. I will literally need to be not human to be become such a perfect person not to mention I’m expected to be an athlete too. Another thing about this is that I’m quite fat and big and I dont feel nothing confident about that, well mostly but I do like my hips and legs plus my breast but other than that I have way too much fat and I can’t seem to find any rhythm to being able to start losing weight I come from a semi rich family and I can’t say that I have totally ugly features in fact I might be better looking than most.😂😔 sorry that was probably rude and now please any advice? - America

Hi darling,

You definitely are young still! You’ve talked about a lot of different things (which is completely okay by the way!), so I’ll address each point separately. I hope that’s okay with you. First of all, I do want to let you know that it’s okay to be scared about growing up. It’s really good that you want to live a happy life and enjoy everything you do, but I also think it’s important not to put too much pressure on it. You see, when you’re focusing on how and what to change to live a really happy life, you might miss out on the happy life you’re living now. It might not be as happy as what it can be after change, but it can still be enjoyable! And I also think it’s good to keep in mind that the perfect life doesn’t exist. It’s okay if there are some things in your life that are upsetting, as long as they are small and manageable! And the overall feeling you get from your life is positive.

I think it’s absolutely amazing that you can see the good qualities you have! Definitely keep that up!! You’re doing really well in school and that’s absolutely amazing. However the prospect of university and the requirements for that can be extremely stressful. There’s something about averages though that’s really good to keep in mind. It is an average number. That means that there are higher numbers but also lower numbers. More importantly is that admission won’t only be about your GPA, but also about the letter you write and what your resume looks like. If you can show in that letter and/or on your resume why that school can benefit from having you as a student, that can matter more than your GPA. Of course it will need to be at a certain level, but it won’t have to be the average number. I hope that at least can give you some kind of reassurance! Other than that I think it’s important to do your best, but to also have a close eye on how this ‘doing your best’ is affecting you. If you feel like it’s getting too much, or for example if it’s causing perfectionistic tendencies, then you need to take it slow for a while. I always tried to do my best, but since I struggled with perfectionism, I never felt like I was quite there yet, and this affected me really negatively, to the point of eventually not being able to do my schoolwork at all anymore because of depression. I just want to prevent that from happening to you! Maybe it can help to always make some kind of studying schedule that you stick to, so that you don’t get overboard. And I think a good golden rule is to not let it affect your sleeping pattern. You gotta sleep when you gotta sleep! One of the biggest mistakes I made was working through the night.

I’m sorry to hear about what happened in your family lovely. It definitely does sound difficult to go through, not only because now you have to do all the work at home, but also emotionally! How are you dealing with that lovely? Do you think it’s something you’ve processed already, the fact that your dad cheated and left, or is it still a painful topic to think and/or talk about? If the latter is the case, then I think it would be really good for you to speak to someone (maybe the school counsellor?) about this! It’s something that you need to work through. Sometimes it can seem appealing to just push it all away, but eventually it’s going to come up and it’s so much better to deal with it sooner rather than later.

Organising things can be really stressful sometimes. I don’t know in what way you’re disorganised, so I’m just going to give a bunch of suggestions. First of all, make sure you have a diary so that you can write down any deadlines, appointments, or anything like that. Then it can be good to invest in a planner. I have one that works week by week. So if I have a deadline coming up, I’ll write down when I want to start, and when I want to finish bit by bit. I always divide projects, or any assignment really, into small bits because then it seems more doable. Then I look at the due date, count how many bits I have, and count back, including one or more extra ‘catch up’ days. Then I know at what date I need to start the latest. I also found it really helpful to stick to certain routines. So I’ll have a little shower routine, I have a before bed routine, etc. The thing with these routines is that if I stick to them, my room will be less messy, which gives me a more organised feeling and actually helps me stay more organised!

Dealing with anger can be really difficult from time to time! We have a page on anger management here, so you might want to check that out! If it’s a major problem, I do really recommend you to speak to a professional about it though. They can help you more to manage it all better, or maybe even to reduce the problems, by finding the source of where all that anger is coming from and processing that. You can read more about getting help here.

Being social is something a lot of people expect of themselves. Sometimes I’ll look at some of my friends, and I wish I was as social as them. But then I realise that I’m an introvert and they’re an extrovert, and it just isn’t going to happen. Being in social situations drains me, and that’s something I’ve had to accept. Of course being alone all the time isn’t good either, but I know that I need to find a good balance between the two. I think what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay if you’re not the most social person, as long as there’s some kind of balance and it’s something you can grow to be okay with.

You say you’re expected to be an athlete too. Who is expecting this of you lovely? Is it something you want as well? If it isn’t, then I think that really is something you need to let go. You already have a lot on your plate, and sometimes it just is too much to do all together! At those times it’s important you drop what matters least to you, not to anyone else. It’s your life, and you aren’t obligated to fulfil everyone’s expectations! They’re their expectations, but that doesn’t need to have an influence on how you live your life!

I’m glad to hear that there are parts of your body that you do like! Cherish that ❤ When it comes to losing weight, please go about it the healthy way, and when you do keep an eye on that it doesn’t turn into an obsession. I just really want you to be healthy and not go down the miserable path of an eating disorder, because trust me - they’re horrendous. Losing weight healthily can be done by eating healthier and exercising. It’s important to still eat three meals a day and have snacks in between, but do keep an eye on what you’re eating. For some people it also helps to have smaller portions, but that’s also something you need to be careful with, as when the portions are too small and you end up getting hungry before the next meal time, it’s going to get really difficult to stick to the meal plan.

You weren’t rude at all lovely! I really hope that you find this answer helpful, and please do let me know if there’s anything else I can help out with. I wish you all the luck in dealing with everything, I have faith in you.

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful ❤

Love Pauline