#and because I just cannot imagine having one song on repeat

[luvmanifesting]

PURE CONSCIOUSNESS 101

what exactly IS pure consciousness? well its a state of consciousness where you’re detached from the 3D and mainly aware of the 4D. your 4D is anything that is within you. (imagination, inner conversations, playing a song in your head..etc etc) THAT is your 4D, you can induce pure consciousness at any time of the day and absolutely anywhere. most people prefer to induce pure consciousness at night because thats when the body becomes more relaxed in preparation for sleep. you can always set the intention to wake up in pure consciousness, fall asleep and then lucid dream and THEN induce pure consciousness or sleep paralysis (i don’t really recommend sleep paralysis) but hey, do what makes you comfortable. you may think that its too good to be true but its not, everyone has the ability to induce pure consciousness because its simply a meditative process. the traditional way people induce pure consciousness on TUMBLR is usually by closing your eyes and repeating the phrases “I AM” or “I am in the void state” or “i am pure consciousness” it doesn’t matter what affirmation you use just as long as its the intention of inducing it. you cannot fail this because it is impossible. news flash.. you induce pure consciousness as soon as you fall asleep every night.

you cannot force pure consciousness thats a thing most of you guys do, you wanna rush because you desperately wanna show your haters wrong. stop that, you don’t force yourself to sleep right? you don’t force yourself to breathe.. so stop trying to force pure consciousness. that will only keep you in the awake state. (awake state being you reading this right now and everything you see around you).

whats also common when people wanna induce pure consciousness is they wonder when they’ll start getting symptoms (floaty feeling, tingling, senses going out) etc, guys that’s simply just your brain checking to see if you’re awake, one of the reasons you “tap out” of pure consciousness was because you placed your awareness back on your body. as soon as your senses go out then you’re there. theres no “but i got floaty feelings and then i affirmed and i got nothing” well then you were not pure consciousness. and then theres your fear that comes into play whenever inducing pure consciousness.

you’re scared of failing, (you literally can’t fail a mediative state this isn’t rocket science) you’re panicking because you swore to yourself you would induce pure consciousness over the break and live your dream life and then you didn’t. *loud heavy sigh* you can’t fail this guys, its okay to be worried but this isn’t something that just can never not work for you.

now lets see pure consciousness from a law of an assumption pov, as we all know our best friend is law of assumption, works instantly and effectively. all you have to do is assume. “well ayami how do i assume?”. my response would be that the sky is glittery with magical rainbows. you would reply with “no its not” i would reply “yes it is” 1 second later the sky is glittery and has magical rainbows. why? because it was my assumption. i didn’t need any stupid proof, it was my assumption so it had no choice to happen. now if you told me “ugh im such a master at inducing pure consciousness” and i said “no you aren’t” you are NOT going to say “oh you’re right im not” YOU ARE GOING TO SAY “um what’re you talking about yes i am? you’re just jealous i can induce it instantly and effortlessly”. okay now bam you can instantly and effortlessly induce pure consciousness whenever you want because thats your assumption and you stood firm to it no matter what was said or shown to you. starting NOW you will assume that you’re a master at inducing pure consciousness and you will stand firm in that state no matter what the hell is shown.

now go induce pure consciousness.

[insidekatmind]

Pregnant~ Berlin(Song Jung-ho)

Wearning: +18, smut, age gap

Request: yes!

The sound of metal scraping against the floor echoes in the tense silence of the Korea mint. You are leaning against the wall, your heart beating furiously in your chest. Your eyes follow Berlin's every move as he gives orders with his usual icy elegance, every gesture measured and full of confidence. It is in those moments that you wonder how you managed to fall so deeply in love with him.

You are twenty-four, an age that seems made for living lightly and not for being involved in a daring and dangerous robbery. But Berlin... Berlin is like a fire burning in a freezing night, irresistible and deadly at the same time. And yet, with you, he is different. Sweeter. More human.

In the last few days, however, your body has been sending you signals that you cannot ignore. The accelerated heartbeat, the incessant tiredness, that deep feeling that something inside you is changing. You have always been careful, and yet now the suspicion has turned into certainty.

You are expecting a child. His child.

The knowledge weighs on your chest like a huge weight. You wonder how Berlin will react. A man like him, accustomed to control, to calculated perfection, to fleeting and controlled pleasures. What will he think of something so real, so irremediable?

When you finally decide to tell him about it, he is in his makeshift office, busy writing in one of his notebooks. He invites you to sit down with an elegant gesture of his hand, but his eyes immediately notice your agitation.

"What's going on, little one?" he asks in a soft voice, tilting his head slightly.

You clear your throat, trying to gather your courage. "There's something I have to tell you." Your voice trembles, and he notices it immediately, his gaze becoming more attentive.

"Speak." His tone is calm, but his eyes are two blades ready to cut away every lie.

"I... I'm pregnant."

For a moment, everything stops. His face remains still, his eyes locked on yours as if trying to read every nuance of your thoughts. Then, something breaks in his gaze, but not in the way you feared.

His lips part in an incredulous smile. "Say again." His voice is hoarse, as if he's afraid of misunderstanding.

"I'm pregnant," you repeat, louder this time.

Berlin bursts into laughter. A full, joyful laugh, like you've never heard him laugh before. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his arms, holding you with a gentleness you never imagined. "You really are the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me," he whispers in your ear.

"Aren't you angry?" you ask in a small voice, still unable to believe his reaction.

"Angry?" he repeats, pulling away slightly to look you in the eyes. "I'm the happiest man in the world. This baby... is ours. And even if the world is falling apart outside, that's the only miracle that matters."

His words warm your soul, making you forget for a moment where you are and the danger that surrounds you. In that moment, it's just the two of you, and the new life you've created.

"You'll never be free of me, you know that?" you whisper with a shy smile, finally letting go.

"And you'll never be free of me," he replies, fingers entwining with yours. "Because we're family now."

And for a moment, everything else disappears.

You smiled sweetly at his words and kissed him passionately. Berlin's lips respond eagerly to your kiss, his arms tightening around your waist as he pulls you closer. The passion ignites between you, a fire that seems to consume everything else. His hands roam your body possessively, as if trying to memorize every curve, every inch of your skin.

When you finally break the kiss, both of you are breathless. Berlin's eyes are dark with desire, his gaze intense as he looks at you. "You're mine," he murmurs, his voice low and husky. "Every part of you. Especially now."

His hand slides down to your belly, a gentle caress that belies the fierce possessiveness in his eyes. "I'll protect you," he promises, his thumb brushing over the slight swell. "I'll protect both of you. No matter what it takes."

There's a fierce determination in his voice, a vow that sends a shiver down your spine. You know Berlin is capable of anything, and the thought of him going to such lengths to keep you safe thrills you.

You kiss his jaw softly as you unzip the tracksuit he has on for the robbery. Berlin's breath hitches as your lips brush against his jaw, his skin tingling at the soft touch. He watches you with hooded eyes as you slowly unzip his tracksuit, revealing the muscular chest beneath. A low growl escapes his throat, a primal sound of approval.

"Careful, little one," he warns, his voice a raspy whisper. "We don't have much time before we need to leave."

But even as he says it, his hands are already reaching for you, pulling you closer. The tracksuit falls open, exposing his torso to your hungry gaze. Berlin's body is a masterpiece of lean muscle and sharp angles, a testament to the life he's lived.

He captures your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth with a desperation that mirrors your own. His hands roam your body, slipping under your clothes to caress your skin. Every touch sets your nerves alight, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you.

"Tell me you want me," he murmurs against your lips, his voice thick with desire. "Tell me you need me as much as I need you."

“I need you, so bad,” you murmured softly. Berlin's eyes darken at your whispered confession, a feral grin spreading across his face. "Good girl," he purrs, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "I'm going to give you exactly what you need."

He lifts you effortlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you to the nearby table. With a swift motion, he clears the surface, sending papers and objects crashing to the floor. The sound is drowned out by the pounding of your hearts, the air thick with anticipation.

Berlin lays you down on the table, his body covering yours as he captures your lips in a bruising kiss. His hands tear at your clothes, desperate to feel your skin against his. You arch into his touch, your own hands exploring the hard planes of his chest and abdomen.

"Berlin," you moan his name, your voice trembling with need. He responds by trailing hot kisses down your neck, his teeth grazing your pulse point. His fingers find your center, stroking and teasing until you're writhing beneath him.

"You're so wet for me," he growls, his voice strained with barely contained desire. "So ready. Tell me you're mine, little one. Say it."

“Yours,” you whispered and touched your belly. “And this is the proof,” you whispered.

Berlin's gaze follows your hand as you touch your belly, his eyes widening with a mix of awe and possessiveness. "Mine," he repeats, his voice filled with reverence and pride. He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to the slight swell, his touch reverent.

"You're carrying my child," he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin. "A part of me, growing inside you." His hand covers yours, his fingers intertwining with yours as he holds your belly. "I'll never let anyone hurt you. I'll protect you both with my life."

He lifts his head, his eyes burning into yours. "Marry me," he says suddenly, the words falling from his lips like a command.

You smile and tears roll down your eyes. "Yes," you whisper. Berlin's face splits into a rare, genuine smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yes?" he repeats, his voice filled with joy and disbelief. He kisses you deeply, pouring all his emotions into the gesture. When he pulls away, his eyes are shining with unshed tears.

"I promise to be a good husband," he vows, his thumb brushing away your tears. "I'll love you and our child with everything I am. I'll give you the world, little one."

He presses a gentle kiss to your belly, then captures your lips again, his touch tender and loving. "We'll have to plan a wedding," he murmurs against your mouth. "Something quick and discreet, given our... situation."

His hands roam your body possessively, his touch now filled with reverence and adoration. "But first, let me show you how much I love you," he whispers, his voice husky with desire. "Let me make you mine, completely and utterly."

He begins to worship your body with his lips and hands, his touch gentle yet passionate. Each kiss, each caress, is a promise of his love and devotion.

Berlin's touch is gentle yet passionate as he explores your body, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. He takes his time, savoring every inch of you as if committing it to memory. His hands caress your breasts, teasing the hardened peaks until you're arching into his touch.

He moves lower, his tongue tracing the curve of your waist, the swell of your hips. When he reaches the junction of your thighs, he pauses, his breath hot against your core. "So beautiful," he murmurs, his fingers parting your folds gently.

His tongue delves into your heat, tasting you deeply. You gasp, your hands fisting in his hair as waves of pleasure wash over you.

Berlin's tongue moves skillfully, stroking and circling your most sensitive spots. He groans against your flesh, the vibrations sending shudders through your body. His fingers join his tongue, slipping inside you, curling to hit that perfect spot that makes you see stars.

"Berlin," you cry out, your hips bucking against his mouth. He holds you steady, his strong arms wrapped around your thighs, as he continues his relentless assault on your senses. The pleasure builds, coiling tighter and tighter in your core until you're teetering on the edge.

With a final flick of his tongue, he sends you tumbling over, your orgasm crashing through you like a tidal wave. You scream his name, your body convulsing as he rides out your release, his touch gentling but never stopping.

As the waves subside, he kisses his way back up your body, his lips glistening with your essence.

He captures your lips in a deep kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. You can feel his arousal pressing against your thigh, hard and insistent. "I need to be inside you," he murmurs against your lips, his voice strained with desire.

He reaches between your bodies, guiding himself to your entrance. With a slow, deliberate thrust, he sheathes himself fully within you. You both groan at the sensation, your bodies fitting together perfectly. He starts to move, his pace measured and controlled.

"You feel incredible," he pants, his forehead resting against yours. "So tight, so wet. Like you were made for me." His hands grip your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he increases his pace.

The table creaks beneath you, the sound mingling with your labored breaths and moans. Berlin's thrusts become more urgent, more desperate. He leans down, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and biting gently.

You moan softly and kiss him. “I love you,” you whisper through your moans. Berlin's movements falter at your whispered confession, his eyes locking with yours. "I love you too," he says fiercely, his voice thick with emotion. "More than anything in this world."

He kisses you deeply, pouring all his love and passion into the gesture. His thrusts become slower, more deliberate, as if he's trying to prolong the moment. "You're my everything," he murmurs against your lips. "My reason for living, my heart, my soul."

His hand slips between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit. He circles the sensitive nub, his touch gentle yet firm. The combination of his thrusts and his fingers soon has you teetering on the edge again.

"I'm so close" you whisper.

Berlin's eyes darken with intensity, his touch becoming more urgent. "Come with me," he demands, his voice low and commanding. "I want to feel you, want to know that I've satisfied you completely."

He increases his pace, his hips snapping forward with powerful thrusts. His fingers work your clit with expert precision, pushing you closer and closer to the brink. "Now," he growls, his voice strained with his own impending release.

The sensation is overwhelming, and with a final cry of his name, you tumble over the edge. Your orgasm crashes through you, your inner walls clamping down around him.

Berlin lets out a guttural groan as your orgasm triggers his own. He buries himself deep inside you, his body shuddering as he finds his release. "Fuck," he pants, his face buried in the crook of your neck. "You're amazing."

He stays like that for a moment, his weight pressing you into the table, his breath hot against your skin. Slowly, he lifts his head, his eyes meeting yours. There's a softness in his gaze, a vulnerability that you rarely see. "I meant what I said," he murmurs. "I love you. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."

You cuddle up to him and touch his hair. “I’m so happy that you’re the father of my child.”

Berlin's eyes soften at your words, a rare, gentle smile playing on his lips. He leans into your touch, his hand covering yours on his hair. "I'm the happiest man alive," he murmurs, his voice filled with sincerity. "To think, I once thought I was incapable of love. But you... you've changed everything."

He presses a tender kiss to your forehead, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "We'll build a life together," he promises, his voice steady and sure. "A family. I'll give you the world, little one. Anything your heart desires."

His hand moves to your belly, cradling the life growing inside you. "And I'll be the best father our child could ever ask for. I swear it."

[luminoustarlight]

Passionfruit | Anakin Skywalker

Ingesting a foreign fruit leaves you and Anakin feeling strange.

rating: explicit | pairing: anakin skywalker x afab!jedi!reader | wc: 2.1k | read on ao3 warnings: literally no plot, just porn, SMUT [sex pollen of sorts, mildly dub con due to sex pollen, mutual masturbation, blowjob, cum swallowing, anakin spits in readers mouth, unprotected p in v, creampie, dirty talk], swearing

kind of but not really inspired by passionfruit by drake but covered by scary pockets. i really just use song titles as my titles bc I'm uncreative and lazy.

As soon as you and Anakin reach the ship, you both know something is wrong. 

It’s in the way your conversation halts, the way Anakin looks at you with inky pupils bleeding into his blue eyes, the way you suddenly feel like you can’t breathe. Your first thought is that you’ve been drugged. You’ve been together the whole day, you haven’t encountered any suspicious beings, you’ve eaten the same things—  “The fruit…” you mumble. 

Anakin is peeling off his black robe because his skin is so hot, he feels like he’s going to burn right through the fabric. “What?”

“The fruit!” you repeat, tugging at the collar of your tunic. The symptoms wash over you like a tsunami making landfall. Instantly and violently. Sweat has formed across your brow, your entire nervous system is on fire and your cunt has started to ache. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Anakin shouts, now undoing his utility belt and taking off the rest of his layers. “Maker, why is it so fucking hot in here?” 

He doesn’t mean to be cross with you, he’s just so fucking confused. Nothing makes sense. He has one singular thought. I need to fuck. 

He’s so painfully hard, he’s not sure if he has ever felt this miserable. This desperate. He needs his hand around his dick or better yet, slipped inside a tight pussy. He’s pretty sure it’s the only thing that will make him feel better. 

With Anakin’s broad chest and chiseled abdomen on display, it makes it impossible for you to make sense of the mess in your mind. You feel drunk, weak knees wobbling as you literally cannot resist the urge to touch yourself. 

Before you’re even conscious of it, you’re ridding yourself of your Jedi robes and everything else except for your bandeau and underwear. It’s an out of body experience realizing that you’ve stripped yourself almost bare without consciously thinking ‘ I’m going to take my clothes off ’. 

You’ve read about certain flora and fauna like this in the library at the Temple. Certain foods and flowers are known aphrodisiacs, containing a chemical that puts the person who is exposed to it in the mood. However, there are some that are so potent, it quite literally makes the person so aroused, the only way to remedy the symptoms is to orgasm. If you try to explain all of that to your Jedi companion, the one you’ve known since you were younglings, the words would come out as mush. 

“Fruit… horny… we need to-fuck,” your already weak train of thought gets even more derailed once Anakin starts palming himself over his pants. 

Anakin’s brow furrows but he doesn’t stop running his hand over his bulging dick. I want it in my mouth, you think. Although the fruit has left you and Anakin with the insatiable need to fuck, you feel a pit of shame in your stomach. Sex is not forbidden as a Jedi, but it’s not something you regularly practice. You usually take care of it yourself, as you’re too afraid to partake in something so intimate with a stranger. It makes you wonder if Anakin simply uses his hand or goes out of his way to find someone to have sex with… 

Possession quickly swallows up all of the shame you were feeling. Imagining Anakin with his lips on someone else, his cock inside someone else, making someone else cum— it makes you want to puke. You want him all to yourself. He’s your best friend, you’ve saved each other’s skin countless times, your bond is like no other. And now it’s going to be irrevocably changed because of something you ingested. Not because you finally acted on your true feelings for him. 

“The- the fruit made us… fuck,” Anakin groans. “I need to take my cock out, it hurts so much.” 

“I know, Ani,”  you watch him intently, impulses absolutely impossible to ignore. As he removes his pants and takes a firm hold of his cock, your hand slips beneath the waistband of your underwear and you begin rubbing quick circles over your clit. “Oh…” you whimper, even though you’ve barely scratched the surface of satisfaction. 

“Take it off,” he says darkly. His dick is throbbing and leaking an obscene amount of precum. His hand moves up and down with ease, brushing his thumb over his tip with each upward stroke. “Take off the rest of your fucking clothes, Y/N. I need to see you.” 

You nod, wriggling out of your underwear and slipping your bandeau over your head. Your fingers are back inside of you, prodding as deep as you can go. Anakin is going feral watching you fuck yourself with your fingers. Pretty tits on display for him, even more perfect than he imagined. 

Maker, he’s in awe of you. He always thought you were cute growing up. But then you seemed to blossom overnight and suddenly you were a woman. He wants to worship every inch of you, run his hands over the hills and valleys of your body, and then he wants to fuck you stupid. To fuck you so hard you’re screaming nothing but his name and seeing stars. 

“Keep touching yourself, Ani. It’s the only way we’ll feel better.” 

The wet sounds of both of your sexes fill the hull of the ship and you think briefly, that this is one of the worst places to experience the effects of a foreign fruit. At least it’s just the two of you on this mission. Just the two of you, the most mischievous Jedi pair the Order has ever seen, mutually masturbating in a Republic commissioned ship. And it’s not enough. Your fingers have never felt so pointless and disappointing in your entire life.

 “More…” you mumble, pulling your fingers from your cunt as they were doing you no good. “Anakin, I need more.” 

“Fuck,” he breathes, bottom lip catching between his teeth. Your pussy clenches pitifully as you imagine what it’d feel like to be filled with Anakin’s cock. He’s thick and long, and you’ve never particularly thought of dicks as pretty, but Stars, if Anakin’s isn’t the definition of pretty then you don’t know what is. “I’m gonna cum- I can’t help it, angel. It’s- fuckfuckfuck-” 

You’re in front of Anakin in a flash, dropping to your knees and throwing your mouth over his cock just as he begins to cum. Anakin can’t help but push you further down his length, groaning loudly when you choke on him. “Shit- that’s it, choke on my cock, baby.” Anakin pushes your hair away from your face to see you looking up at him with the wickedest eyes. He knows you need more and even though he’s just cum himself, he doesn’t feel too much better. It’s a good thing he was going to fuck you regardless. 

Your nose is nuzzled against his tuft of hair and the musky scent of him makes you dizzy. You’re rubbing your clit again, but it’s no use. Nothing is going to make you feel better but Anakin. You’d settle for his fingers or even his mouth. You just need him. 

Once Anakin is sure he’s milked everything out, he pulls his cock out of your mouth. There’s still cum on your tongue when he leans down to kiss you, pulling you up from the ground with just his hand around your neck. Your tongues dance around each other briefly before Anakin breaks away. “Open.” 

You open your mouth and Anakin spits the cocktail of your saliva and his cum back into your mouth. It’s the most erotic thing you’ve ever experienced. It makes your whole predicament worse. It’s actually cruel that Anakin has already cum and you’re still miserable. You’re still suffering the effects of the fruit. “Ani, please. I need to-” 

“Get on the floor,” he orders. “On your back.” 

You don’t need to be told twice. You hiss at the cool metal flooring of the ship, but it’s honestly like an ice pack on a battle wound. It feels amazing against the burning inferno you’re feeling from the inside out. This isn’t how Anakin imagined ravishing you. Ideally, he’d make you writhe against the mattress with his fingers, then with his mouth. It isn’t until you’ve cum at least twice, does he go about making you cum around his cock. But unfortunately, urgency is of the utmost importance. 

As he lifts your leg over his shoulder, his cock brushes against your folds. You whimper at the all-too-brief contact with his weeping tip. He’s going to stretch you out, going to hit so deeply you won’t be able to fucking walk for a day. “Oh my Gods, Anakin, please. I feel like I’m dying.” 

His perfect pink lips form a devilish smirk before he finally, finally pushes himself into you. Immediately, the fire feels like it’s beginning to extinguish. He hasn’t even begun to move yet. “Need my cock to save you, baby?” 

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you wish you cared enough to come up with a retort but it just feels so good to have Anakin inside of you. “Sh-shut up,” you clench your walls to tease him back. “Fuck me, Anakin. Hard.” 

“You’re gonna get it hard for being a little bitch just then.” Anakin nips at your ankle as he draws his cock almost entirely out of your cunt before ramming back in so forcefully it makes you scream. Like, bloody murder scream. “Louder, honey. I can’t hear you,” he taunts.

“Fuck!” Your arms stretch above your head, gripping onto the grated floor so you aren’t pushed away with each demanding thrust Anakin delivers. There’s no finesse to it, really, he’s just fucking you hard like you asked. His knees are probably aching from the uncomfortable surface of the floor but he doesn’t seem to give it much attention. 

“Is this how you wanted it, then? To be fucked so hard you’re basically just a toy?” Anakin leans down, which makes your hamstring stretch and sting as your knee is practically next to your face. The new angle with which Anakin’s cock is entering you is divine. You feel like he’s in your stomach with how deep the tip of him is hitting. 

“Mmmm,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around Anakin’s neck. You tug at his grown-out hair, bringing him down to your mouth. He still tastes a bit like his cum, along with the salty sweat that has formed over the top of his lip. You drag your hands down the expanse of his back, muscles tensing under you with each thrust. 

He’s driving into you with strong, punctuated movements. He kisses along your neck, over your racing pulse, and bites down. He hollows his cheeks to leave a mark that will remind both of you of the time you ate a fruit that made you carnal for each other. He soothes his tongue over your new bruise before leaving a butterfly kiss on your jaw. When his mouth settles over your ear, his hot breath sends a new wave of tingles down to your toes. “Feels so good, angel. Maker, your cunt is perfect. Just the tightest little hole for me to use.” 

“All yours, Ani-” your thought is cut off when Anakin’s gloved hand presses against your clit. Your back arches off of the floor and you know it’s only a matter of seconds before you finally reach your peak. Anakin knows just how to rub you so it pushes you along. Your long-awaited orgasm explodes like a firecracker. It jolts through your body, your pussy pulsates rapidly around Anakin and that sends him over the edge, too. He’s cumming for a second time and thankfully, he actually feels satiated. He just hopes you do too, because he’s exhausted and aching. 

It takes you several moments to calm down from your orgasm but the fog has finally begun to dissipate from your head. Anakin pulls his softening dick from you and collapses next to you on the floor. His chest is heaving from the exertion, which is understandable. But then he just starts laughing. 

You turn to look at him, totally puzzled. “What?” you can’t help but smile too, because his laugh is just that infectious. 

“I just can’t believe it took eating a fruit for us to finally make a move.” 

“We kind of didn’t have a choice.” 

“Yeah,” Anakin sighs. 

“Wait,” you prop your head up on your elbow. “You wanted to… you know…with me before eating the fruit?” 

Anakin mirrors you. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you?” 

You roll your eyes. “Could you be any more conceited, Anakin Skywalker?” 

“Actually, I could.” 

Yeah, he could. That was a stupid question. So your suspicions were right, after all. 

You and Anakin have always been close. A bit too close for the Council’s liking if we’re being honest. They would be lying if they said they weren’t worried about the two of you. 

It’s a good thing they will never know about the mess you two made in this Republic star ship.

◂ anakin masterlist ▸ main masterlist

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Not quite a question, but tbh I'm really frustrated that there will probably never been any canonical confirmation of eruri. I'm convinced there was smth between these two characters. And it's sad many ppl refuse to acknowledge the unique bond Erwin and Levi had, and refusing to acknowledge the romantic potential it had too.

So I’ve had a lot of asks like this over the years, and to be honest I’m always a bit bemused by them. Because, honestly, within the context of the story, what would “canon confirmation of eruri” look like, over and above what we’ve already seen? SnK is not a romance by any stretch of the imagination, although love is at the very heart of the story. This is a hill I will die on. However the way that love is expressed between characters is subtle.  It’s not all flowers and hearts and seagulls bluebirds, it’s more devotion and loyalty and sacrifice. And even when that love is made absolutely unambiguously explicit, as in the case of Eren and Mikasa, there are still those who refuse to recognise it for what it is and write it off as being “one sided” or whatever.  It really makes me wonder about some people’s expectations and experience of what love really is. 

So in the case of Erwin and Levi, what would canon confirmation look like?  They aren’t a pair of giddy hormonal teenagers, or star crossed lovers, they’re two 30+ year old war-weary veterans, who have lived lives full of trauma, violence, and loss.  We were never going to see hearts* and flowers**, and marriage proposals. And have you seen the way Yams draws kissing?? Thank the gods we were saved that. 

Instead we have a believable adult relationship, based on mutual trust, respect and understanding, which has grown and matured over the years. The foundation of Erwin and Levi’s  relationship is unshakable loyalty and trust, and when push comes to shove, the willingness to do everything in their power to help and support each other, even if that means making the ultimate sacrifice and letting each other go.   If that’s not the very definition of love, I don’t know what is. I’ve written reams about this over the years, which you can find in my Eruri relationship tag if you’re interested. 

I’ve said this before, but romance is rarely the most important or interesting aspect of committed, adult relationships.  However, when it comes to Erwin and Levi we do actually see lots of small, simple romantic gestures; quiet moments together, sharing meals, and clothes, gifts of small luxuries, private jokes and playful ribbing. 

I reblogged a lovely post about “true love” by @stellaluna33 recently and I’m going to share it again here because I think it bears repeating. 

In the older songs, "true love" is not some mystical quality, some type of connection that is magically better than other Loves. No. A love that is "true" merely means that your Love is "true TO YOU." "True" as in faithful and loyal and trustworthy. A lover who will stand by you and with you no matter what comes. True the way a good sword is True. True the way a good knight is loyal. The contrast is "False Love," which is a lover who betrays you, who cannot be trusted. "True Love" isn't something you find, it's a vow and a choice that you make, every day, to BE TRUE.

If people can’t see Erwin and Levi’s relationship for what it is, then I'm not sure I can convince them otherwise. That's their opinion and they're quite entitled to it. I just hope they are able to broaden their understanding of love one day. 

* I may have lied about the hearts…

** And flowers…

[heartavenue]

️₊˚‧︵‿꒰୨ Answer as your Dr self: Better Cr Edition ୧꒱‿︵‧˚₊

this is a shifting exercise created by @zaddizu thank you so much for making this!

࿔ WHAT IS YOUR NAME? :my name is Love Ma Cherie Sinclair, which translates to Love My Sweetheart Sinclair in English. When I was born my parents hadn't come up with a name yet, when I was born my dad held me into his arms telling me how much he loved me! There the name was born; my middle name came from my dad! (he comes from French origins) while I was still in his arms he continuously repeated those words over and over! There my middle name was born.

࿔ FAVORITE FOOD? :I love birria tacos, I'm talking I get it everytime I see it! I cannot get enough.

࿔ WHAT IS A SONG YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE FOR IN YOUR HEART? : easy honeymoon avenue by Ariana grande! I mean its the inspiration behind my username. When I was a little girl I heard that song for the first time and it was so good I became a stan for life! Till this day it makes me cry just out of pure nostalgia.

࿔ FAVORITE COLOR, GO! :pink yesterday, pink today, pink tomorrow, and pink FOREVER!

࿔ NAME THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO YOU :cliche answer but it's cliche for a reason, obviously my family (more specifically my sister) she is my other half, she completes me, I do not want I would do without her in my life, she made me the person I am and I would not trade her for anything else in this world. There would not even be a better cr if I didn't have my sister because she puts the "better" in better cr.

࿔ IN A CROWDED ROOM, WHO WOULD YOU LOOK FOR FIRST? :easy my sister! but after that it would be my best friend, they are the two most important women in my life (not including my mom and grandmom of course)

࿔ BEST MUSIC GENRE? : r&b! I mean I'm black it's in my roots, ain't nothing like a nice slow r&b song to end your day with. I'm talking Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Boyz II Men, Aaliyah, etc. I can always find myself going back to an r&b ballad.

࿔ A TOPIC YOU DEFEND WITH YOUR LIFE :billionaires should not exist and capitalism is slowing (I don't know so much about slowly anymore) killing us. I do not care what reality I'm in billionaires do not exist, I do not understand why someone should have a billionaire dollars. Even in my Dr where homelessness is not a thing a human does NOT need that much money. And as far as capitalism...if I get into that this would no longer be an intro to my better cr. Oh my gosh and don't get me started on AI.

࿔ GUN TO YOUR HEAD...ARE YOU FUNNY? :is the sky blue, is grass green, does Elon musk looked like an alien with botched filler?

࿔ FRUIT OR CANDY PLATTER? :imagine a big bowl full of mangoes, pineapple, grapes, watermelon, strawberries, kiwi, and peaches. You are sitting there with a big spoon in your hand to assist you, now imagine a bowl of gummy worms and m&ms....man give me the fruit.

࿔ SUGAR, SOUR, OR SPICE? :sour is an easy no, sugar or spice? mhm...spicy food would be more savory and I like savory foods more than sweets so I'ma go with spicy!

࿔ AMBIVERT, INTROVERT, OR EXTROVERT? :ambivert/extrovert. This is my reality, I'm the star, I need all eyes on me.

࿔ WHO WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE? DO YOU REGRET IT? :Ivy. My best friend in fact she is my first and only love. I'm not going to expound too much on our relationship because it's very personal, but let's just say I don't regret it not one bit.

IB: @meilarchives

[artytaeh]

do you think mattheo can sing? 😂 i have this fanatsy of him seeing electric love by borne or some bruno mars lmao

ngl imagining mattheo singing electric love made me cackle at 1:07am. also got me imagining mattheo singing when i was your man while he minds his own business in malfoy's manor, surrounded by death eaters, while he's going through some sadboy phase. or singing grenade, twirling on a broom, being silly. 😭

IT'S NOT A BLACK OR WHITE ANSWER, if mattheo riddle can or cannot sing. although he has a smooth voice, much like his father had during his school years, mattheo is a weird half term.

he isn't fatal to the ears, not enough to make people laugh at his attempts; he has a good tempo, can vocalize enough to not be ridiculous. at the same time, he's no superstar and much less eligible to sing alone for a crowd to earn compliments.

if anything, he's a decent opponent at karaoke. the enthusiasm and eagerness crashes the lack of michael-jackson-type of vocals or artist of the year.

because you mentioned some music options, it got me thinking what type of music mattheo listens to.

1 )╰୧ 🎧 : agreeing to this popular headcanon, mattheo riddle really likes the smiths. there's something about the wordplay and the emotional ressonance that appeals him; perhaps it voices an unspoken longing that mattheo feels, the melancholy that echoes a response to mattheo's own sorrow. at the same time that directly speaks to him in a personal level, mattheo definitely thinks that he has a superior taste for this being his favorite band.

the only friends mattheo respects and tones down about music tastes, might be blaise — because his taste is, in fact, immaculate along with his style — and theodore, because being best friends, theo warmed up to the band's songs as well. besides, theodore would be more than happy to tell mattheo to colorfully fuck off in italian, which sounds thrice as meaner than in the english language.

mattheo's favorite songs from the smiths could be, in my opinion:

i know it's over — this is a favorite that he shares with theodore. although his best friend isn't as much of a the smiths enthusiast as mattheo is, theo admitted that this entered his playlist. i know it's over easily is one of the saddest songs from the band, a feeling of a helpless resignation, that silences mattheo and plays a few times in loops, in specific nights that mattheo feels the need for a smoke, hoping that the silence of the night doesn't indulge his already bad thoughts. perhaps it's the repeated mention of a mother that doesn't care like a normal mother would, or the humbling of mattheo's mask of being so funny and handsome isn't enough to keep him from being so utterly lonely.

‘’ it's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate. it takes strength to be gentle and kind, over, over. / love is natural and real, but not for such as you and i. ‘’

how soon is now? — mattheo enjoys the instrumental, how it reminds him of a foggy evening in october, nearing the spooky season. not only is the vibe immaculate, but also the lyrics itself; speaking of an impatience that mattheo relates to, eagerly waiting for those better days that people insist that will come. besides, the ‘son and the heir’ remind him of his bloodline, which... isn't the most positive intrinsic trait of his, really.

‘’ you shut your mouth, how can you say i go about things in the wrong way? i am human and i need to be loved, just like everybody else does. ‘’

back to the old house — a classic. naturally, classics are popular because they tend to be good, and mattheo dies on this hill. once again, it deeply resonates with him and his thoughts; the bad memories from a home that he never knew, to the point that mattheo would sincerely prefer to never return there, if possible. anywhere that lingers the existence of his mother and father, no, mattheo doesn't want to be part of it. ironically, he shares this with harry potter, and with his father, years before him — hogwarts is his home. besides, a specific verse match my opinion of mattheo's cowardly behavior upon falling in love with someone, something i developed here.

‘’ and you never knew how much i really liked you, 'cause i never even told you. oh, and i meant to. ‘’

2 )╰୧ 🎧 : straight boy rap music. i don't know how to call this genre, but mattheo definitely listens to the same songs that the boys blast in the quidditch locker rooms, before practice, to hype themselves up for a good game to keep in shape. specifically enjoys rap that he can yell and feel like bragging for knowing the whole lyrics, flawlessly. these boys definitely listen to eminem.

3 )╰୧ 🎧 : the occasional heavy rock. for someone with an explosive temper and difficulty on controlling his anger at times, it feels unexpectedly calming to listen to something that matches the thunderstorm inside his heart. in the beginning, it's like someone's understanding his rage; gradually, as in, after long minutes of taking deep breaths, mattheo achieves a talkable mood. a song i'd like to suggest that would be in that specific playlist, could be killing in the name, from rage against the machine.

4 )╰୧ 🎧 : a secret that he's taking to the grave: white girl music. mattheo didn't want to believe himself that he had a fucking blast in one specific hufflepuff party, having the most fun while he was a little too drunk to care about glares and stares, to the sound of fucking britney spears. although mattheo boasts that yeah, he likes what he likes, so fucking what?!... whenever you mention the smiths, maybe. but, admitting that his realest hype songs are shut up and sexyback? no, he'd rather be hit by some jinxed spell, thank you.

i'd like to add a silly headcanon here: draco malfoy is another secret enjoyer of white girl music, behind the whole straight boy misogynistic playlist going on. socially, draco only hears those; in absolute secrecy and privacy, his favorites are in a playlist that he'd rather not share. would argue that lady gaga is the best artist within this genre, unironically loves barbie girl and had an odd obsession with everytime we touch from cascada.

mattheo, on the other hand, really likes girls just wanna have fun, and shares this favorite with pansy parkinson.

mattheo has an inner girlypop and draco is a pop diva. the two of them discover this side of each other by total accident. tried to deny it, attempted to make stupid excuses, then when both understood that the other was being too obvious, they equally gave up and somewhat opened up to their music tastes.

from two guys that barely interacted alone outside the friend group, this was what bonded draco and mattheo into becoming closer friends. unironically. and although some people might suggest that some shady business or similar trauma got draco malfoy a closer friend to mattheo riddle, well, the truth is a little more humiliating than that.

a friendship, as in: we jam to this together, but this is our secret. if i go down, you go down with me.

[pastorfutureletthembe]

Unpopular opinion probably, but everyone is set on vidding and animating this song in Lu Guang's POV.

And it's very popular:

X X X X X

But to me, Penelope's part would be Cheng Xiaoshi's pov, actually.

I mean, I get why the lyrics echo Lu Guang's feelings. Oh, I do. But also, Odysseus is the one who went through decades of longing and pain and loneliness and betrayal, with only reason to keep living the hope to see his (dead) wife once more. He left worlds and pieces of himself behind.

He isn't the same man. Cheng Xiaoshi... Is. He'll always be who he is because Lu Guang is the only one with a future, but the only future he accepts is his past life with his best friend.

He would go through billions of repeats if there is one chance of growing old with the man he loves.

Odysseus' theme is "Just A Man". And it is and will forever be my favorite song of all Epic the Musical.

Going through the Yingdu Chapter through Lu Guang's prism feels familiar and foreign. We know who Lu Guang is but not who he was. We have no idea what he went through.

An other unpopular trope in this fandom is that all these repeats somehow made Lu Guang lose his humanity, his compassion and his morals. He would become more and more selfish, blinded with his wish, making difficult choices and leaving people behind. Qiao Ling. With a godlike power, he would still be profoundly human. Doing whatever it takes to save Cheng Xiaoshi. Going back to the start to live in peace with Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi, unable to move on.

Why doesn't he say anything to Cheng Xiaoshi? Why does it try so hard to follow the script? Who is he protecting in the end? I would actually love to see Lu Guang do something unforgivable in order to save Cheng Xiaoshi.

In another meta, I mentioned Cheng Xiaoshi would be kind of pissed at Lu Guang for his hypocrisy. But no matter how pissed he would be, he would move mountains to help him come back from the dive back in time. Cheng Xiaoshi would never allow Lu Guang to sacrifice himself or his own happiness for him. He wouldn't let him erase himself from reality, from their story.

I do think Future Cheng Xiaoshi is diving in Yingdu, at the very beginning, because he won't let Lu Guang go. He keeps holding his hand. Again and again and again and he pulls him in right before Lu Guang gives up and gets sucked into self-sacrifice.

And I cannot wait for the reveal.

People asked me before what I thought would be Cheng Xiaoshi's reaction to learning the truth. I still don't know how to answer that, to be honest. Actually, I don't think it is relevant. I don't think Lu Guang would admit what happened, what is happening. Cheng Xiaoshi would realize what kind of horrors his best friend went through only when there would be no going back...

And after that?

He would get him back.

This part is exactly what I imagine the end of Link Click to be:

And whatever was said and done, who cares if billions of versions of their stories have been written? The core of them is the same.

Also. Penelope's game of asking her husband to move an unmovable bed just to prove a point is soooo Cheng Xiaoshi.

Anyway.

I hope someone will make an edit with the reverse possibility.

[stilljuststardust]

Hey my sister wants to shift, she’s 13, what is the most basic “here’s what you need to know and never listen to shifttok” song you’ve got for her?

∘₊✧Explanation✧₊∘

Thanks for the ask! I'm sorry this took me so long I've been having some health issues.

Disclaimer, please read:

There are SO many different perspectives on how it works. Mine is not the only one and though all perspectives are valid, I'm going to assume that you chose to ask me because you are familiar with my blog and how I personally view shifting.

I'm going to try to leave LOA out of it but that is how I personally view shifting.

What is shifting?

Shifting is when you become aware of the life you're living in another reality. The reality you shift into is just as real as the one you are currently in. It will feel real because it is.

How to shift

Strictly speaking, you don't have to do anything to shift. How people shift is so personal and customized and nothing is necessary to do it but I'll try my best to give "instructions" anyway.

You decide you're in your DR, you decide that it is true and it has worked, ignore anything outside of yourself that tells you otherwise, and know that it is true because you freaking said it was.

You decide you've shifted and ignore anything but that decision. That is IT. Don't worry about this reality, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about any aspects of this reality you can still hear see or feel, they won't stop you from shifting don't let them distract you.

ALL you have to do is become aware of your DR. I know that it can be hard to conceptualize that for a beginner so most people use methods.

Methods

To start off: It is not necessary to have a method. Many people just intend to shift and then they do. That's it. You don't have to do anything, however I recognize that for someone who isn't familiar with shifting "just intend to" is probably an unhelpful answer.

Most methods can be divided into two categories, awake and asleep methods.

Awake methods revolve around becoming aware that you are already in your DR.

Asleep methods revolve around becoming aware that you will wake up in your DR.

Common features in both kinds of methods:

Meditation

Visualization

Affirmations

Affirmations are pretty straightforward, you repeat a sentence that aligns with your goal over and over. "I have shifted. I am in my DR."

What I personally do

I robotically affirm all day "I am going to shift tonight" robotic affirmations are just repeated affirmations without feeling. So all day I just say it to myself again and again.

I then take some time to sit down and imagine my desired reality, my favorite street, pretty things I would see throughout the day, stuff that grounds me in the feeling of it.

Then I just lay down and tell myself I'm there no matter what. No matter what I feel hear or see I am there.

Doesn't matter I'm there.

Frequently asked questions

I am choosing to put these first because I feel like they really clarify what shifting is and how it works.

Will I have memories of my destination reality once I have shifted?

Yes, you have always existed in that reality and you have a life's worth of memories there. When you become aware of a reality and of the version of yourself that exists within it you also become aware of your memories there.

How does scripting work/ what is it?

It is a description of the reality you'd like to shift into, usually written. Think of it as an the address of the reality you'd like to shift to. You specify the details of the life you would like to become aware of. Having one is not necessary.

Can I script [insert anything here] ?

Yes. You can script anything, and I mean anything. If you can imagine it, it is possible. The realities we shift to do not have to follow the rules of this one and what is impossible here doesn't have to be impossible there. You want to script the sky is purple? Then it is. You want to have wings? Congratulations you can. I cannot stress this enough, ANYTHING you want can be scripted.

Relevant posts

Your desired reality already exists

An old post of my own shifting routines nothing listed is necessary, the list exists to give ideas not instructions

How to visualize

A good post on shiftok misinformation by my awesome mutual

[hardtobethebardbitch]

I want all your thoughts about Maya and the Three as well as The Book of Life (remember I'm Mexican bitch so I reserve EVERYTHING LATINA RIGHT to judge your answer >:3)

*claps hands together* HERE WE GO TIME TO YAP ABOUT THE BEST MOVIE EVER.

I literally grew up watching this movie. My earliest memory is showing it to my best friend at a sleepover when I was like 6.

My entire WORLD as a kid was Book of Life. Got my first phone, what was the first thing in my music library? Book of Life. Every birthday and when I was sick, what would I pick? Book of Life. Hell, I wrote a self-insert as Manolo's older sister who was best friends with Maria and in love with Joaquin(before I figured I was gay, but like...Joaquin)

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT WAS A JUKEBOX MUSICAL

Once I found one of my favorite cover artist Annapantsu's rendition of Can't Help Falling In Love With You, and I thought, "yes, she's seen Book of Life!" Ectasy of Gold? Saw those beer commercials and thought, "Hold up-" I heard Radiohead for the first time and I went, "Wait this was in Book of Life!"

But my God, I as a white person of European descent, adore Dia De Lose Muertos. It is my favorite holiday right after Halloween, because it's my excuse to watch Book Of Life on repeat. I know it entirely by heart, and-although I've now forgotten-I used to scare my sister because I could sing I Love You Too Much and The Apology Song in Spanish, without knowing a lick of the language otherwise. I HAVE A COPY OF A NOVELIZED VERSION OF THE MOVIE, ITS IN SPANISH, AND I UNDERSTAND EVERY WORD.

Okay okay, now onto the actual movie other than my experiences.

This thing is one of the best pieces of media I've consumed in literally forever. While it has certain flaws-pfft what am I saying, IT HAS LITERALLY LIKE ONE MINISCULE FLAW, AND I CANT EVEN PIN IT DOWN.

Im going to treat this as one of my movie reviews, just so I don't make this an entire essay lol

Plot: DUDE, THE PLOT?? it's just-beautiful. Just imagine it for a second, as if you were part of this as a main character like Manolo. You are in love with your best friend-your other best friend is in love with her too. You continue with your life, still in love even after she leaves for finishing school. When she returns you do your best to impress her, despite the fact you're kind of the village loser. You die, and when you get to the afterlife you find out that your love life has been betted on by literal gods, just cause they're bored?? I am shocked Manolo kept his cool as much as he did. And then the freaking bandits?? The battle?? I just fucking love this movie man.

10/10

Music: JUKEBOX MOVIE ALERT!!! Except one-I think two?-songs, everything is from somewhere else. And my gods, the conversion from whatever they used to be into the style of the movie is ASTOUNDING. I completely believed that Creep was supposed to be played on guitar like that. And then I could go on for literal hours about The Apology Song-and most of it would just be screaming in joy. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, IT'S JUST SO GOOD FOR NO REASON?

100/10

Animation: How the hell do I explain this with words? Just look at it yourself.

LOOK AT IT!!! Care and love was put into every single frame and it SHOWS.

10000/10

Writing: I do have to admit that maybe, occasionally, from time to time, rarely, the writing is a little strange. But then when there's real heavy scenes-okay who am I kidding, the writings amazing. Humor, pacing, and everything in between-they made due with what they got, and they left ZERO CRUMBS. JUST LOOK AT THD GRANDMA

Queen. AND THEN THIS FUCKING SCENE I JUST-

"Don't forget me."

Waiter! You forgot my tissues!

Characters: I...cannot stress enough...how much I love everyone in this movie.

Manolo? Peak. He molded what my type would be. Selfless, strong, but allows you to be independent, a complete pathetic cat to his lover. His conflict can be felt by anyone with disapproving guardians, or even those who just had disappointed figures in their life. And Diego Luna???? Fuck. Perfect character right there.

Maria? Badass. Likes to lead a little on, but what girl hasn't? She's the leader's daughter and has a pet pig. Need I say more? And Zoe Saldana fucking smashed the role.

JOAQUIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

I LOVE Joaquin. When I saw Deadpool and Wolverine and my friends pointed out Channing Tatum I went, "JOAQUIIN" and they stared like I was senile. I do honestly believe that he is extremely underrated within this niche Fandom. Just saying, I had an epiphany a few years ago: How did Joaquin feel?

Maria was believed to be dead. Blinded by grief he tells his best friend that it should have been him. I entirely believe that he was the one to return to the tree. To apologize, of course. And what does he find? His best friend, dead. He doesn't have anyone left. Maria comes back, and he can only imagine the pain she's feeling. He hates that General Posada is only thinking of marriage at a time like this.

And if he hadn't been the one to find Manolo? Then it was Carlos. And Joaquin watched as a man he respected carry his best friend's body out of the fog from the lonely dock. Or perhaps Carlos buried him right under the tree, and returned with nothing but grief.

And he completely accepts Manolo and Maria's love! He definitely felt hurt, but I'm sure it took a minute because he was just happy Manolo was alive man. He'll find love, I'm sure he will. He'll get a medal from me, no doubt.

Im simply saying, Joaquin had the most development of everyone in this movie.

La Muerte and Xibalba? Peak on and off married couple. La Muerte is hot as hell, and Xibalba's hilarious. Candlemaker, peak. Carlos, peak. The Mariachi Brothers, peak. Luis, peak. Carmen, peak. Book, peak. Even the detention kids were so incredible!

100/10

Overall movie: This movie has so many layers, and it can be enjoyed by all ages. I have enjoyed it since I first watched it, and I will adore it until I die. I will have this play at my funeral, and all you sick fucks are invited.

100000000000000000000000000000 x infinity/10.

And MAYA AND THE THREE???? UGH. MADRE DE DIOS I WANT TO CRY THIS THING MADE ME SOB.

I heard my dad call me from the living room. It was during COVID so I was a little under the weather. I go to the living room, and he's showing a new release on Netflix: Maya And The Three.

I CRASHED OUT. I was SCREAMING at him, begging him to give me the remote. I almost cried right then and there.

AND THEN I STARTED WATCHING?!?!?!!! AND IM INSTANTLY HIT WITH...ZOE SAL-FUCKING-DANA.

AND THEN...DRUMROLL...

DIEGO LUNAAAAA

(I'm fine guys I swear.)

Guys...this thing reignited something in me. The absolute fabulousness of the entire show screamed "Gutierrez". While no one was bursting into Radiohead this time, I swear my heart gave out from all the absolute nostalgia I was getting, and the new story that was tugging my heartstrings in a direction they had never gone.

(You can only imagine how I felt with that La Muerte Xibalba and Candlemaker cameo lol)

I adored every character, but I feel like one can guess who my favorite was haha...

Hes so pathetically down bad for Maya and I can't blame him one bit. LOOK AT THAT FACE!!! I wanna squish it.

Man his reincarnations are gonna feel that lovestruckness. (*cough,* MANOLO, *cough*)

This entire thing, even with all the deaths, I just adore.

I FELT THAT SCREAM WHEN ZATZ DIED. I FELT THAT SCREAM FROM MAYA DEEP IN MY CORE.

AND THEN THEY BROUGHT BACK THE MISBEGOTTEN SON OF A LEPROUS DONKEY BUT JUST A LIL DIFFERENT I CLOCKED THAT IMMEDIATELY AND SCREAMED.

And, of course the ever popular

Rico, Chimi, Picchu, Lance, Daggers, Shield, Camazotz, Puma princess, Micte, Queen Teca, Chiapa, Apush-I love every single character in this show.

AND THEN ALL THE THREE SYMBOLISMS JUST ARGGH

I can't go on man, I'm either gonna die of euphoria or pass out I have been writing this for almost an hour now. But it was so worth it, and I hope it was worth your time too.

No retreat, no surrender.

I am so behind on my French.

[syn4k]

🌿

unfortunately the only way to solve not wanting to create things is to not create things until you want to create things again.

"but Six!" i hear you protest over the angry yells of all my followers. "that can't be true! i hate that!"

i hate it too. But listen up you self loathing chucklefucks this is IMPORTANT.

if your brain and body is telling you that you are tired and that you need to take a break, fucking listen to them. Do not ignore them and continue making things anyways.

I do not give a fuck about your making one thing per day streak. I do not give a fuck about your follower count or engagement or statistics or whatever the fuck. I do not fucking care how stubborn you are. This rule is set in the laws of the universe itself just like the laws of physics are.

If you do not schedule time for yourself to recharge, your body will automatically do it for you and it WILL NOT ASK POLITELY.

that's what burnout and writer's block IS! you cant make shit if you're too fucking tired and depressed and busy trying to function as a person and don't have any energy left over for creative work! creating things takes ENERGY and EFFORT even the most self loathing low quality shitpost stick figure youve ever doodled on the back of an napkin. That takes effort too. This is your body realizing that you're going past your own limits despite everything and forcibly shutting you down so that you physically fucking cannot anymore for your own health.

Full stop.

If you take the time that you need to rest and regain energy and use it instead to continue doing things that require energy, your body will force you to allocate that time to rest at some point eventually.

So yeah. Sleep in hard over the weekends. Do nothing. Be unproductive. Fuck capitalism and FUCK the Protestant work ethic. I am being so fucking serious right now. This isn't just me repeating what I've heard, this is me sharing things that I've had to learn the hard way over the span of literal fucking years because my dumb ass kept ignoring it too.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, politely turn down outings with friends and family if you're too tired.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, take a day off from school or work if you wake up and know in your bones that you are too tired. (Make sure to let your teachers know beforehand. They'll understand. Skipping a day of work is a whole nother can of radioactive horses that I don't want to open right now but others here may have advice. Check the notes.)

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, do nothing.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, be "lazy" (if you're not enjoying the forced time off, you're not being lazy).

If you can only do the bare minimum to take care of yourself (i.e making low-effort meals, only using the bathroom twice a day, etc) then that's okay too. The more you rest, the more energy you'll slowly build up to do more things like going to the grocery store so that you don't starve and getting those assignments done and taking an extra two minutes to make yourself a glass of something warm in the mornings so that you don't want to die quite as much. Also, when you can, ask your friends for a script and call your doctor about prescribing you depression medication because I love you and this is not normal and you deserve better.

Living life is not supposed to make you want to die, and surviving is not the same as living.

your body has a built in hierarchy of needs and at the top of the list is creating things, which you can only do once you're at a certain level of energy and wellness. if something's wrong, your drive to create will be the first to go.

it's scary, but you'll be okay

be gentle and kind to yourself. imagine that your brain and body is a horse: kicking it when it's down and yelling at it to move won't help. you have to meet it where it's at and feed it and comfort it until it's ready to move on again. you can't write trail songs if you've got no path to roam

this quickly spiraled out of my hands but i am very passionate about this subject and also i love u. good luck.

[pixthefuckup]

the warriors but as the crazy shit I've done as a new Yorker myself

All: had been in Manhattan for something fun, then got lost on the q, then had to head all the way back from the end of the line to Queens, made it to one of the safe stations i could transfer only to face the MTA deciding multiple times that they could no longer send a train following the proper routes i needed (i got on and off so many trains), and ended up leaving from the closest station i knew, speed-walking home in the freezing cold, cursing God and the MTA, until my dad finally came to escort me home safely.

Cochise: i have gone to parties for way older people. i get all the nice perks with a twist: i have to do karaoke performances for my mom and her friends at parties or cheer on their karaoke. i've done this multiple times. my voice will literally die and i can't keep up after a couple of songs, even though these middle-aged ladies can. i persevere for the sake of food and drinks.

Cowgirl: once saw an extra virgin olive oil bottle and spaghetti and instead of being sane and thinking about recipes, i fully blurted out "once your spaghetti comes to a boil, stick your d*** in some extra virgin olive oil." IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWDED SUPERMARKET. IN THE LINE TO THE CASHIER SURROUNDED BY STRANGERS.

Fox: i once outran a train because i could. i had a bit of a lead because i was in the middle of the platform once it started coming in but trains are pretty fast. it was coming up from behind me but i kept running. eventually i could hear my friends saying i already outpaced. i looked behind me and sure it was, behind me. pretty cool.

Cleon: i was in a short film where i got beaten up multiple times. thrown into stairs, shoved against a wall, etc. not as bad as my co-star who i strangled and also shoved into walls but it was pretty bad. we also broke the boys bathroom door during this (it was in the stairwall we were working with) so it was a funny bit of teamwork where i was the lookout and the one holding the still working door shut in case staff tried to come in and the other guys were just doing their best to pick the door lock to get it open and unbroken.

Ajax: once shoved my head through the subway doors to try and get through while it was closing (i wanted to get home quick and my friends were already on). ended up accidentally getting it clamped on my neck so i basically had to shove it open with my bare hands. if it's funnier... i'm in middle school during this. so imagine you're like a full blown adult sitting on the train and all of a sudden, you're watching a 13 year old, with braces and tiny pink strands flowing through her brown hair, shoving a door open with her hands while her friends are trying their best to help. you don't know whether to continue staring or clap once she gets through and finally on the train.

Rembrandt: got high in the middle of the park with my friends and instead of being chill like i expected, i went on a rant about the artistry of dante and vergil, fanfiction, and both of their connections to each and the veil, reaching beyond life to things we cannot touch. i also was real rambly and uneloquent compared to how i am irl.

Swan: once had a sprained shoulder the day before my kickboxing practice. I still went in and told the teachers only to realize both didn't hear me. i didn't feel like repeating myself so i pushed myself through the rest of the class. i then listened to a scolding from one of the teachers at the end for not putting my all into it, nodding along as if i didn't have a shoulder injury because i didn't want to sound like i was making up excuses last minute.

Mercy: once had such a crazy crush on a girl that i was willing to brawl with some other people. i then got shoved under a bus seat while she was punching a guy on top of it. she helped me get out after but ugh did i have to stare at chewed up gum for a while.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I loved your analysis of the Romeo and Juliet reference in Taylors song it was such a perfect example of why people praise her songwriting so much without realising how hollow it is. I also especially loved how when someone commented that they didn’t have a large enough vocab to understand your post, you actually responded really nicely and offered to explain! It’s such a bare minimum thing but so rare to see on the Internet where people often just ignore such comments or become pretentious. Anyway, definitely earned a follow because your posts seem really cool and I hope you do more song analysis posts, whether they’re praising or critiquing music.

Hello! Apologies for taking so long to get back to you! I’ve been in middle of moving (and it’s taking up much of my time ahaha). I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed my Romeo and Juliet post. I love that play- mostly because of its sly, subversive nature and social reform thematic purpose. I remember reading it in High School and how that was one of the first times I was consciously aware of the power literature holds to shift culture and move public consciousness towards progressive ideologies. Remarkable. For that reason, Swift’s repeated misunderstanding, and blatant, purposeful ignorance surrounding the plays, has always frustrated me.  

I will be returning to the topic to write about the infamous “Love Story” (2009), and I’m also going to debunk a couple of her other literary references like The Scarlett Letter one. Also, I will be posting something about her bastardization of Daphne du Maurier’s “Rebecca” (1938) because she over-simplified the thematic point of the book and made it seem silly, and frivolous, instead of the hard-hitting social reform literature that it is. Much of my frustration with Swift stems from her use of literary genius, and the way she twists these stories into empty- ego-driven narratives that singularly focus on break-ups or centering her aspirations towards praising hetero-patriarchal standards in her music.  

I’m fucking over it- Y'all.  

She has this way of taking literary references, some of the most famous and important works in history, and remaking it into something dull, derivative and nonsensical. She incinerates the plotlines and erases the methodology of the literary work through demeaning the intrinsic social reform efforts of the works themselves. For instance, with my post on her work and the reference to “Romeo and Juliet” I mention how Swift purposely leaves out, or negates, Shakespeare intentional social reform phenomenological base to the line “O be some other name/ What’s in a name?” Shakespeare himself is clearly drawing attention to the ways in which people often judge not by the content of our characters but by shallow intonation of our names and station in society. He is using these lines, and the two characters, to show how hypocritical and judgmental it is to uphold petty difference over the ideal of believing in the prospects of human connection. Shakespeare was a radical in his day- he pulled no punches to criticizing the aristocracy or the values of post-feudal hierarchal institutions.  

Swift took such an intentional aspect of his work, his social reform efforts, and purposely divorced it from the line. Thus, remaking, rewording, it into her line, which was a silly, and self-centered, petulant line about how people really should have been nicer to her because she’s a good girl. It’s so fucking stupid- imagine trying to remake Shakespeare without understanding Shakespeare. I cannot abide- now that I’m grown, and no longer a child, who could mindlessly listen to her bastardization of important literary work- I simply must speak up. It’s important because, I think, that her purposeful misuse of the work- making it devoid of social reform- says a lot about her intentions as a person. She’s not the activist people think she is- she's just another pseudo-intellectual grifter.  

Anyway, I’m glad you found something worthwhile in that post- and I hope you’ve enjoyed some of my other posts since then. I admit that I sometimes venture into posting mere opinion- but for my more serious posts I will stick to interrogation of her work through literary invocation. It’s just what I know best.  

If anyone has any questions about my posts- or confusions about my vocabulary use- I am happy to chat and answer questions! I really meant it when I told that person that I would be happy to re-explain using some different words. Sometimes- I get carried away and slip into “academic jargon” but that’s not what I want my blog to devolve into. I want to share information with people who perhaps have not studied literature- or English. I wouldn’t judge anyone just for having a question or being confused about a certain word. I, myself, make a habit of studying other languages- besides English- and that does wonders for keeping me humble about my own knowledge of English. Haha. :) I do not express myself nearly so well in French or German- so it becomes much easier for me to empathize with those who have a hard time expressing themselves with language too. Language is hard- learning is even more difficult. But what a wonderful, rewarding venture it is to ask a question and learn something new!  

I encourage people’s curiosity- truly.  

And yes- I will certainly be posting about other artists as well. Haha, now that I feel comfortable doing so- I will have some fun with it :)  

Thank you for writing in- I am sending you well-wishes and good vibes.  

[darkleysgarden]

Rich Goranski and his Squip:

Let me explain!

(Lyrics: I'm her writer man and she's my biggest fan / Without her I would not survive / She feed me, comforts me, she is my family / We stick together and I thrive / She keeps me warm in the winter and dry in the rain / My thoughts start to splinter and she keeps me sane / There's paper in the printer, I'm feeling no pain / Cancel the hearse / I'm her writer man / Her writer man / Her writer man / And she's my nurse / Yeah! Uh huh! Yeah! Uh huh!)

In this first part, I connect it to his yearn for popularity when he first gets his Squip. In the song, the 'addict' is using the 'nurse' to help him achieve his writing goals. Instead of writing, for Rich, it is popularity. For Rich, everything seems great here. His Squip is helping him get friends, he likely has less pressure at home, he's no longer suicidal, etc. With a Squip, he's thriving in comparison to how he was before.

(Lyrics: You moan and grope and gripe and say she's not my type / But I do not think you understand / No, we might not make sense to you and she's a hair intense, it's true / But when she's got me by the hand / I write a mile a minute, I don't fall behind / Her Liberace records provide my mind / With some mad inspiration, so raw, unrefined / Don't have to coerce / 'Cause I'm her writer man / Her writer man / Her writer man / And she's my nurse)

Rich is changing as a person. This would be noticeable. I'm someone who imagines him being close with his brother before the Squip and they're driven apart. Maybe Rich is starting to get told he isn't himself and he knows it's under the Squip's influence. But, he looks over and he is still thriving in comparison to what he had before. His Squip is taking him by the hand and leading him through his day by day and he is listening. He doesn't have to be coerced because he wants to keep thriving.

(Lyrics: Ow! Uh huh! Ow! Uh huh! / And as my work is taking shape / I know that there is no escape / But she's not the one who keeps me here / No, I am the one who wants her near / She's just a nurse I use / I could leave her if I choose / Mhmm. That's right. Mhmm. Oh yeah)

This is when Rich starts to stray a bit, and shocking gets more intense. He's finally popular and has achieved his goals. But now he's stuck. He knows he has no choice but to follow the Squip if he wants to keep his popularity. He's the one who wanted the popularity. Therefore, he is choosing this life. He chose to get the Squip. It was all his decision. Plus, he knows how to deactivate the Squip. He could leave if necessary.

(Lyrics: It's not like I wanna quit I just pull away a bit / She does not like that very much / I say "thanks for all you gave but I am not your slave" / Now please release me from your clutch)

He wants his popularity, and he wants his Squip. He just doesn't want controlled as much as he has been. He wants to have some influence to think for himself. He doesn't want to do a lot of what's asked of him. But he has to. Even in The Squip Song, he is shocked intensely and then becomes a marionette necessary for an ad. The repeat of 'then' when he tries to break free and cannot. He's happy he has what the Squip has given him, but he's losing himself.

(Lyrics: And then she burns me and beats me and ties me to bed / And ruins my work and ruins my head / She held me so tightly I broke and I bled / It only gets worse / Cause I'm her writer man / She won't give up her writer man / Oh god, she loves her writer man / And me my nurse)

Because he's trying to pull away, he is facing manipulation and torture. He's getting so many shocks. Not just in the bathroom or fire scene, the entirety of the Halloween party, you can see him flinching and being shocked. Also, during Halloween, he's doing the exact same choreo as the Squip when nobody else is. His head is ruined as the manipulation and control drives him crazy. Their work is being ruined as he goes insane and creates this fuel for rumors that will ruin the social status the Squip helped him create. He searches for Mountain Dew Red and realizes there is no way to get it. He's stuck. The Squip won't let Rich get rid of it. He has no way to. He probably realizes as well that he has no way to live without his Squip.

(Lyrics (this repeats 8 times): She loves me, she hates me / She whack, whack! / We get to the end and we / Go back! / Again and again / And oh this is my curse / This is my nurse / One more time)

Just with the repetition, it fits his situation well. First of all, he is stuck in a cycle of waking up, being controlled, and then repeating that. He does little on his own. He is nothing but a puppet. Going into 2R and Off-Broadway Halloween, he is seen singing and dancing to the song long after everyone else leaves the stage. Rich is confused and disoriented and in pain, so he just repeats what he knows. Even during the fire scene, he continues singing Halloween. Repeating and repeating. He's so used to repeating. If he doesn't know what to do, he listens and repeats. For the specific lyrics, Squip loves and hates him. Yes, it is trying to help him achieve his goals and get an ideal life. It's also hurting him and telling him it hates him. It constantly tears him down to get him to listen. It doesn't like him, it likes the vision of him it's creating. The Squip helps, hates when he disobeys, punishes him, he listens, and it repeats. That's all his life became after the Squip. It's his curse and it's all he has. I would say this cycle finally ends with him breaking away and setting the fire. Although, even after the fact he is surrounded by people the Squip surrounded him with. He doesn't know who he is. A lot of his interests and likes came from the Squips suggestions. In a way, he is still stuck for the rest of his life. There are always pieces of the Squip influencing him.

In conclusion! Rich, like in the song, is in a situation where he seeks out someone else to assist him in achieving his goals. Instead, he ends up in an abusive cycle that tears him down.

[irisbleufic]

Of all the current Devil’s Minion writers your playlist is the one I want to see. Do you have one? If not, are there particular songs you’ve been listening into to while you write? The vibe of your prose with them is hypnotizing like the short story about them in the books, it’s impressive, and does your music also inform this choice if at all?

Intense question, anon. Fourteen-year-old me fucking hyperventilated after reading the DM chapter in Queen of the Damned (me, on the floor of my bedroom at 3am because I don’t want to get caught reading this book, staring dazed at the ceiling; me, now, three weeks ago, sitting shellshocked on the sofa after watching S1 and S2 over two days as a binge; me, over two of those weeks following the binge, rereading the first half of the Chronicles and starting to see double, tilt the prism, see what happens when the narratives are overlaid and blurred), and it still feels like that. Likely my prose turning out the way it is in these stories is about 90% my giddy teenage self having access to my adult self’s writing experience to finally write this beloved pairing without fear of litigious letters (IYKYK, my fellow elder Millennials in the fandom). I don’t often love film and TV adaptations of my favorite books, but I adore this show. It’s flawlessly transformative; its improvements only make the resonances and overlaps that much more meaningful. No notes.

However, I have been listening to the same small handful of songs on repeat for 6 days as I write these pieces. I imagine they are affecting my sense of scansion at points; my writing life didn’t begin with fiction, it began with years of poetry before I ever tried prose. These tracks are as meaningful to me as poems as they are songs. It’s as good a starting point for a playlist as any; I’ll keep adding and put it together on Spotify at some point.

1. Vesuvius - Sufjan Stevens

Vesuvius, I am here

You are all I have

Fire of fire, I'm insecure

for it is all been made to plan

Though I know I will fail

I cannot be made to laugh

for in life as in death

I'd rather be burned

than be living in debt

This song was my entire first 72 hours of writing. I’m that Autistic weirdo who will listen to a single song on repeat for a month and think nothing of it. Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii being the nexus point of their love story from beginning to end in QotD, this is everything to me; I was never going to be able to write about the show incarnation of them without integrating this location and this imagery in the most reverent love letter I know how. This is why my series title for these stories is Caldera. Volcanic crater blowout if ever I saw one; I ran with it.

2. I Forget Where We Were - Ben Howard

Hello love, my invincible friend; hello, love, the thistle and the burr. For you, I have so many words—and I, I forget where we were. I haven’t known this song for all that long in the grand scheme, but it found me via Spotify shuffle in 2022 right after something awful happened. The longing in this song hinges on one of the lovers in it waking up to something they’ve forgotten about their relationship, something precious, and I’m thrilled to finally have a fandom application for it.

3. Make You Better - The Decemberists

I sung you your twinges

I suffered you your tattle-tales

and when you broke sideways

I wanted you, I needed you, oh

to make me better

Oh, to make me better

But we're not so starry-eyed anymore

like the perfect paramour you were in your letters

And won't it all just come around to make you

let it all un-break you to the day that you met her

No excuse for this one; it does a great job of speaking for itself. Front-man Colin Meloy is one of my all-time favorite songwriters, and his work is frequently dark, creepy, and/or gothic enough in flavor that I could find a few more.

4. Song to the Siren - Elisabeth Fraser & This Mortal Coil

On the floating shipless oceans

I did all my best to smile

till your singing eyes and fingers

drew me loving to your isle

and you sang, “Sail to me,

sail to me, let me enfold you—

here I am, here I am,

waiting to hold you.”

This cover of Tim Buckley’s folk masterpiece completely transforms the vibe of the song, and in the kind of way you need for this pairing. This one is at responsible for the events and imagery in my “Still Life with Sunken Treasure.”

5. Hal - Yasmine Hamdan, Only Lovers Left Alive OST

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اطلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي شرّفي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وطلعت يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اتريحي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتلحلحي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وسمعت يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اتفرفشي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي قربي

لأ ما أقدرشي

فرشنا يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اقلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتجرأي

لأ مش ممكن

شلحنا يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اتغندريله

يا حبيبتي اتذوقيله

افهمي يا سيدي مش قادرة

وطبعا تقنعني مش واخدة

ايه يا عزيزة؟

ايه اللي إنتي عملاه ده؟

يا يا يا راجل يا هوه!

مش عيب عليك اختشي ونو

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اخلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتشخلعي

لأ مش ممكن

يا خيبتي يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اتبغددي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي جربي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وجينا يا ناس، غلبنا يا ناس

جينا يا ناس، غلبنا يا ناس

I don’t think the Arabic justified to the correct side when I copied this, but the translation is very easy to find. I don’t speak Arabic, but honestly the English translation is dull compared to the beauty of this language. If you haven’t watched Only Lovers Left Alive, what the hell are you even doing with your vampire-loving, monster-fucking life? All the tracks on it have the right vibe for DM, really.

[astro-osamu]

THIS SONG IS SO VERY VERY HUGO CODED.

EASY AS LIFE FROM AIDA

I'm now going to go over my ideas for it, in an over exuberant amount of detail 😌✌️✨️

Lyrics are in Blue

Notes/Thoughts are in white

----------------------------------------------------------

I was listening to the song on repeat while listening to this. Enjoy the rant.✨️👍✨️

Tell me if there are spelling errors😅

----------------------------------------------------------

This is the moment when the gods expect me to beg for help

Don wants him to understand that leaving her for team radical is not the right move. Much like Gothel trying to convince Rapunzel that running off with Eugene was a bad move.

but I won't even try

I want nothing in the world but myself to protect me

He doesn't want to owe her any more than he already does. Nor does he want to look weak in her eyes for not being about to choke down his feelings and move on.

And I won't lie down, roll over and die

He absolutely refuses to let Anyone have the upper had over him. Not Donella because he needed help from her to do what's expected of him. And not Varian because Varian has his heart.

All I have to do is to forget how much I love him

All I have to do is put my longing to one side

He truly wishes for a love and a life that is perfect for him, and he thinks the love can be Varian, and that life could be with Team Radical. But It'd be easier to betray him if he ignores that fact.

Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation

Passion would have cooled and all the magic would have died

He wants needs stability. He's trying to convince himself that what feelings he has for Varian are fleeting. The strength of the crush he has, is not worth throwing away his life with Donella.

It's easy, it's easy

He has to convince him self that it's something simple and easy to do.

All I have to do is to pretend I never knew him

On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart

Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding

It's best to forget any connection they had at all, especially times when they bonded, and Hugo fell for Varian more. It's easier to hurt people you don't know.

Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start

It's better to be agitated that you can't get to know people or have close friends. Not just pertaining to Varian, but possible loves and friendships in the past that he's looked over or walked away from.

It's easy, it's easy

Until I think about him as he was when I last touched him

He will slip up and think back to the time they spent together and how close they've gotten. But when he does, it's so much harder to ignore it.

And how he would have been were I to be with him today

Not only what connections they've made in the past, but what they could do in the future, if Hugo didn't betray them, if they had their whole lives ahead of them, what they could do, what feelings could grow

Those very rare occasions, don't let up, they keep on coming

As he emotionally pulls away from the group more and more, the more he misses the time they've spent together, he thinks of what could have been, the more he misses what could have been, what could be if he doesn't do what he feels he has to.

All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away

He's only ever wanted to life comfortably with the people he loves.

It's easy, it's easy as life

And then I see the faces of a worn defeated people

He imagines their faces, their reactions when they learn his true intentions and what he's done to them.

A father and a nation who won't let a coward run

(This one us less solid than the rest but)

I see Quirin and Varian's family (Team radical, Raps, Eugene, etc) not taking kindly to what Hugo does. Not letting him get away with hurting the people they care about.

Is this how the gods reward a faithful through the ages?

Forcing us to prove that the hardest things we've done

'The Gods' just refers to a higher power, this can in Hugo's mind, include Donella. In turn, is this how she teaches him that his life with her is easy, what she has him do and the life she has him live is easy. At least compared to the hurt he is going through with Team radical, and what he should do. No choice is am easier choice than a rock and a hard place.

They're easy, so easy

And though I'll think about him until the earth draws in around me

Even if the thoughts of Varian and what could have been haunt him for ever, he knows what he has to do.

And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love

Even though he is chosing to leave, and not join team radical, he is doing it for the love of his mother.

This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption

Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above

He tries to convince himself that it's not a betrayal, he's not really hurting them. What he's doing is getting back on the right path. He is redeeming himself in Donella's eyes and in his own because he is returning to what he should have done in the first place, the 'right path'.

It's easy, it's easy as life

It's easy as life