#and by all accounts it doesnt make sense that it would help

[laithraihan]

now i’m kinda curious to hear what you think of proshipping.. if you don’t mind of course

I'll share my thoughts, and if theres anything I say that doesnt make sense feel free to point it out to me because I mostly write with the help of a translator. Under the cut because I wrote too much stuff.

TLDR: proshippers hate me because I dont want to look at glorified depictions of pedophilia/incest/etc, antis hate me because my content isnt 100% sanitized. I stay around anti circles because I find it slightly easier for me to talk about my headcanons with them even though I think they can be insufferable.

So the thing about proshipping. From what I've seen it means being "anti-harassment" and being in support of curating your online experience, which sounds great on paper and that's practically what I do. I have over 3k accounts blocked on my personal twitter to navigate the website more easily and I also dont care if someone blocks me if they dont like my stuff.

Except proshippers never consider me a proshipper because I am uncomfortable with viewing glorified depictions of topics like pedophilia, incest, rape, all that stuff. The same way people are uncomfortable with excessive blood and gore (which I also can't really handle seeing). Whether or not it's always easy to tell if it's glorified is an entirely different topic, which is precisely why I stay away from all depictions in general to avoid being intrusive.

And what's interesting is that I do not label myself an "anti". Mainly because I don't even know what the term "anti" is supposed to mean ("anti-" what exactly. Genuinely please tell me because I actually dont know) But the ones who label themselves "proship" always call me an anti, because again I do not wish to engage with content related to pedophilia etc, and that alone apparently enough to be considered "a person who harasses others over fiction" even if I mind my own business and have no interest in forcing my personal tastes on others, especially if they make it clear that they wont change their mind. Which makes me believe that for a lot of self-identified proshippers, the definition of being "proship" would be more similar to "I love fucked up stuff and if you dont then youre lame and it obviously means you can't tell the difference between fiction and reality" which honestly seems like insecurity to me.

Forgive me for bringing up this up once again but I want to mention an example to make it easier for me to explain: yknow the whole thing with me drawing Minori and Reigen and labelling it "non-cp" which caused a wave of both self-identified antis and proshippers harassing me over that (I'll say that proshippers were more bold about it since the antis harassing me were all anonymous). Proshippers saw me saying "I dont ship that" and interpreted it as me being defensive and in denial, as if I said "guys I swear Im an anti !!! please dont think im a proshipper !!! ", when I meant "I dont want to discuss this with others in a shipping manner because thats not how I see it and I dont want to enter a space Im not comfortable with"

I admit I responded to this situation in a petty manner, but this was after several days of harassment done directly in my inbox and publicly (sometimes I wish yall remembered that group chats and priv accounts exist). My point is that simply saying you don't like seeing pedophilia in fiction is enough for proshippers to believe it's justified for them to harass you over it (and I'm fully aware they'll say it's not harassment, only when antis and "puriteens" do this to them then it's harassment)

Now about the anti side. Don't get me started on them either. If proshippers see me as an enemy then this must mean that I always get along with the ones who call themselves "antis" (I do not). Note that Im only talking about adults here, I dislike beefing with children and I think their feelings about this are entirely reasonable (I'll elaborate on this when talking about internet safety)

But anyways. I think a lot of adults are discourse-brained and do way too much. Im thinking of nonsense like "this ship is problematic because they are 'sibling-coded' so thats basically incest" "siblings giving each other a hug gives me proship vibes" things of that nature. And you're not allowed to do anything that even has the smallest possibility of being interpreted as "problematic", because then they'll harass you for it, and if you clarify your intentions, they expect you to apologize for "misleading" them because clearly they didnt do anything wrong by making assumptions about you.

There's almost no room allowed for creativity with them, everyone has to follow fanon because they consider it canon, if you ever want to try something other than the same boring domestic fluff then it's "too much" (and not even platonic affection is acceptable to draw in certain cases). Which is incredibly fucking boring to me who wants to see different types of content. People even said I was enjoying incest for drawing Reigen selfcest, and that I was "making others uncomfortable" by drawing it. Genuinely seems to me that they only care about moral superiority, that they never think about anything in depth, and I dont think they realize that it also shows in what they create: boring and repeated fanart and headcanons where the only thing you can say about it is "thats cute", nothing more because you saw it ten billion times already. You cant draw two people showing platonic affection that absolutely nobody would bat an eye if it happened in real life, you cant discuss something specific in more depth without people saying you have a fetish for it, and then they'll harass you based on their speculation that it's a fetish. I dont think many realize this, but fandoms are full of autistic people, so it's normal to see people who are interested in very specific things that dont make sense to others! I wish people were less judgmental, but at the same time I dont care if people think Im weird. I think what I mean is theres no reason to mistreat weird people who do no harm to others.

So yeah if you call yourself an "anti" I'll assume youre spend too much time engaging in fandom discourse and you're the type of person to believe that fanart where two people are holding hands is the equivalent to drawing them fucking each other. Which I think is a very childish mindset to have and it's worrying that many adults think this way. I also think that as an adult they should be capable of blocking stuff they hate instead of constantly arguing with people online because at this point it's just mental torture.

The thing about internet safety I mentioned earlier, I'd say this is the one thing that I'll always prioritize discussing whenever proship discourse comes up.... To put it simply: filter and limit the visibility of your content, do not put triggering stuff in the main tags, stay in your own circles. Whether or not you believe fictional rape/pedophilia/etc is bad is irrelevant, my point is that these are objectively triggering topics and should be filtered just like how there are warnings for violence and blood even if it's not real.

"But it's the parents' responsibility to control what kids look at online, this has nothing to do with me!" and I agree with the parents being the ones Primarily responsible. However the reality is that children are online and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Kids will also enter spaces theyre not allowed in, theyre children and children are rebellious especially teenagers, I was like this as a teenager too. You'd be lying if you said you were always obedient since childhood and never did anything you were told Not to do. And you can't really expect teenagers to always block and not interact if they see something triggering. It's your responsibility to block them if they interact with you, because what I see most of the time is adults bickering with teenagers who are uncomfortable, calling them "puriteens", putting them on blast and allowing other adults including NSFW accounts to dunk on them.

Humiliating and degrading teenagers does not "teach them a lesson", it only makes the teenager more stubborn and reactive. Adults must accept that kids will always find their way in there even if your content isnt easily accessible. So I think it's stupid to feel offended at a child because they got upset when they found upsetting content like how any normal child would react. Which is why I wish more adults would keep blocking without saying anything petty to provoke teenagers.

Before someone pancake-waffles me and says "so youre fine with antis doxxing people" no I do not support doxxing. Ive been doxxed so I know it sucks. However the only times Ive seen it go this far is after continuous arguing because nobody knows when to stop. Im not saying this applies all the time nor am I saying doxxing is fine, but there are ways to minimize this sort of outcome as much as possible. Both sides have doxxed people over petty arguments that couldve easily been avoided if they just blocked each other and moved on.

The topic above (internet safety) is probably the only thing related to this where Im actively telling others what they should be doing. It's not only teenagers who are triggered by depictions of pedophilia etc but also adults like myself. In my case Im old enough to block content I dislike without saying a word, however I cant help but think that there's not enough being done about filtering especially when I do not search for this type of content and I still see it all the time.

I also think it's important for me to mention that I have a very poor sense of morality. I do not have a personal moral code that I adhere to, and I mostly stick to the basic universal ones that make sense to me. So I will not discuss the "morals" of consuming this stuff because I am not adequate to share an opinion on this, and I know the most popular topic of discussion related to proship discourse is morality which I frankly find counterproductive. I dont understand why people should care so much if I find something morally correct or not, unless it's to make themselves feel better about having a "superior opinion" to mine. Though I will say that if a man tells me he's into rape "but only in fiction!" then I dont think it will stop me of imagining myself bashing his skull repeatedly with large rocks. Maybe Im too mistrustful of men in general.

Final point I want to clarify is that I am not trying to assert some sort of superiority over people by disliking both sides, like saying "Im not an anti or a proshipper Im a Normal person" or something like that, and Im not expressing a "neutral" stance on the topic of fiction's influence on reality either. There are topics like racism and orientalism in fiction that Im vocal about (which is expected since Im Algerian). I genuinely believe there are many things that are interesting to discuss and should be prioritized, but too many people are chronically online, subjective and defensive, at this point I dont even think it's accurate to say that disliking one side automatically means you support the other side regarding fiction. To me, "proship discourse" is not about the debate of the effects of fiction on reality, censorship in media, etc. It's about everything I described earlier that happens online.

[thirstghosting]

im also interested to know how much it cost you so leave that in the tags, if you feel comfortable with it.

[etherealkissed88]

𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐢’𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞

this is how to actually apply the law & this is how i personally manifest. it includes main points that i always try to share on all social media platforms. this guide will contain five steps for how to manifest. enjoy!

🎀 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

𝐈. know the 3d is neutral

𝐈𝐈. identify as the inner self

𝐈𝐈𝐈. be the desired version of you in imagination

𝐈𝐕. fulfill

𝐕. its done

🎀 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭

once you've decided what it is you want...

𝐈. know the 3d is neutral: everything in the 3d has no original meaning, it is always you who assigns it meaning; this is why you are the operant power. you always choose what everything means so stop labeling things as ‘circumstances’ when theres nothing against you, until you give it power by assigning it w meaning. everything in the 3d includes circumstances, thoughts, emotions, doubts, time, everything. all of it has no original meaning. knowing this means that theres nothing to fear and absolutely everything is under your control. as the only source of power, why would you worry about “will this thought manifest?” or “how can i get over this hard circumstance?” when you decide everything’s meaning? no circumstance has power over you, no anxiety has power over you, and this can help you feel more free to make it easier to accept that you really do already have what you want. you cannot be a victim in a reality that has no original meaning. its your choice to identify with any thought or feeling, meaning you have control.

𝐈𝐈. identify as the inner self: yes the human body experiences this 3d. but this human body and five senses are very limited. think about it: if you want to manifest an sp, you cant see your sp's thoughts or if you want to be rich, you cant see money getting transferred into your account, or fat cells burning to give you your desired body. you are also imagination playing the role of this human body and life. so you yourself is limitless, imagining what we label as "limits". imagination = the inner self. you are the inner self who is always present because you are always manifesting and its the inner self (imagination) who manifests. you are always the inner self but when you identify with your human limits you give power to those imaginary limits such as ‘negative thoughts’ and ‘circumstances’ while on the other hand, identifying as the inner self means knowing those limits dont exist. thats why its important to identify as the inner self (you can call it god) who is simply experiencing a human life and has the power to change any aspect of that life. to identify as the inner self, just know you are the inner self and you should never be limited to the human self. if you find yourself searching for shit in the 3d, thats a sign of identifying as the human self. experience what you want as the inner self in imagination to be free. to the inner self everything is instant: when you imagine something it is happening in the now, not past or future. everything is in the present. as the inner self, you remove the idea of a 3d. there is no human self or 3d now, just focus on limitless imagination.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. be the desired version of you in imagination: now that you know you are the inner self, be the desired version of you in imagination. this means imagine using any techniques you want. if you want to be rich, you visualize, affirm, script. use inner convos or sats (and other techniques) to imagine already being the rich version of you. once you imagine it you have already experienced it so it really is done. you also dont have to use a technique, you can simply decide you already have what you want but i personally recommend using a technique at least once. let me give you an example: nelly wants to manifest being rich so she chooses to visualize a scene where she is taking lots of money from the bank to imply that shes rich.

𝐈𝐕. fulfill: whatever you imagine doesnt matter. what matters is how it makes you feel. for example, it doesnt matter if nelly visualized the bank scene or if she affirmed shes rich because techniques dont do anything besides bring you to a fulfilled state. so when to fulfill yourself, imagine whatever you want that provides you a feeling of satisfaction by using whatever techniques you are comfortable with. keep repeating the scene or affirmation or technique until you successfully feel satisfied. you may be able to feel this fulfillment while doing it once or multiple times. you may be able to feel fulfillment in a few days or in one hour. the point is to generally feel good about embodying that ideal version of you. fulfillment = the feeling of knowing you are already that desired version. you reach this state of satisfaction therefore accepting that you already have what you want 100%. the more you continue to get into this fulfilled state, the more natural it becomes so its okay if you dont feel completely satisfied the first time. thats why i said repeat that scene or technique.

𝐕. its done: congratulations, you are what you desired. you are the one with the sp, the one with $100,000, the one living their desired life. continue being/identifying as that person in imagination aka persisting. persisting means continuously choosing to identify with the ideal version of you whenever you think about it. see the world through the eyes of the one who has to their desire already. move thro the 3d knowing it is done in imagination. this means you could continue enjoying your techniques by visualizing or thinking as the desired version of you. but also: thoughts come from your state so if you are in the state of being fulfilled with what you desire then your thoughts should naturally match that. if it doesnt, dont stress, just continue satisfying yourself in imagination. being in the state of the wish fulfilled aka feeling fulfillment helps make it easier to stick with your desired state/assumption. whenever you feel lack, fulfill yourself again and remind yourself that its already done. its already yours. theres literally nothing else to do since you experienced it in imagination, youve fulfilled yourself and feel satisfied in imagination and continue sticking with that regardless of the 3d. regardless of the 3d means you are indifferent to the 3d because you know you are the one in power above the dead 3d. you dont care about what the 3d is showing and you stay true to self because that is how you apply the law.

🎀 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲

know the 3d is always neutral so theres no such thing as something working against you, only you give thoughts and circumstances meaning and power. know this because that proves the only source of power that exist is always you so you control everything and nothing in the 3d can tell you no

identify as the inner self, not the human self because the human self is limited while the inner self is forever free and limitless and experiences everything instantly

be the desired version of you in imagination by using any techniques you want

fulfill yourself by satisfying yourself in imagination with whatever techniques or simple decision. return to this fulfilled state / repeat using your techniques to make it natural and give you that knowing feeling

its done meaning theres nothing else to do but persist. no depending on the 3d when everything is already within you. just experience it in imagination and its done instsntly.

🎀 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 + 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

“what do i do if there are negative circumstances in the 3d?”

- remember that everything in the 3d is always neutral. you can claim they are negative but dont identify with these ‘circumstances’ by making and dwelling in imaginary negative stories and thoughts. you can say and do whatever you want in the 3d because it never matters (since its all neutral) so theres no need to ignore circumstances. just dont accept them as final. let the discouraged emotions and thoughts out but know you dont have to accept them as true or identify w them. there are negative circumstances. okay and? if circumstances were so hard to get past how is it possible that people still manifest while experiencing the complete opposite of their desire in the 3d? because the 3d and circumstances never matter. you are imagination which always molds the 3d so why worry about the 3d when it will change either way? remember your only job is accepting you have your desire in imagination only. you can accept you dont have shit in the 3d and continue living your normal (shitty) 3d life while still being the version of you who already has your desires in imagination. you can accept the 3d circumstances and move on. im telling you: if you were really fulfilled, you wouldnt care about 'circumstances.' gently get back into the fulfilled state when youre ready. also: you deadass have the choice to identify w the 3d or identify w already having your desire. so its all up to you.

“what should i do if i feel anxiety?”

- whenever i feel anxiety i observe it and let the feeling pass because i know it is always neutral therefore anxiety has no power over me. i would do meditation just to calm myself down but i would not try to force myself to feel fulfilled or do techniques. mental health comes first so relax and calm down, then you gently get back into the state of the wish fulfilled. i dont identify w negative emotions and thoughts. and if i find myself dwelling in it and imagining negative stories, i just stop myself and decide it didnt effect me (or my manifestation in any way). returning to the fulfilled state is always the answer.

“ive been persisting for a long time but it still hasnt reflected”

- stop trying to get shit in the 3d and start being satisfied with already having it. these links might help: 1, 2, 3.

"i feel fulfilled but the next day i fall out the state"

just return to the state whenever your ready. thats all that matters. it doesnt matter what happens but how you react: are you accepting/assuming that you "ruined your manifestation" or do you just move on because you know you are still human who experiences demotivation? read these: 1, 2.

if theres anymore questions, check my masterlists for answers: tumblr, twitter.

🎀 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐬

- actually apply the fucking law. a lot of you just ask questions and then “try” to apply and when one thing seems wrong, you go back to asking questions and wasting both your time and mine. persist. apply the fucking law and stop looking for outside validation.

- get tf off your phone. this is my favorite tip ever because the internet and people can rly demotivate you. delete social apps like tumblr and twitter and insta etc. you already know about the law after reading this so give up on search for more info. being independent from the media and your phone rly provides freeness and calmness. you know when you tell your mom your sick and she says something like “its that damn phone”? well lemme be your mother real quick and tell you “its that damn phone” when you complain about “the law not working”. the law is always working. you just arent applying correctly to get what you want. get off the phone and find some other hobbies instead of overconsuming.

- dont use your past “failures” to validate your current experience. you can do it! i know you can! its too easy but you think its hard.

- you always hold all the power so dont identify with negative thoughts and if you do, you can just decide it doesnt affect you (either way it wont unless you identify with the thought/emotion). you always have a say in every second of your life. be the god of your reality.

- remember, your only goal is changing self: you change who you are being in imagination and stick with it. if this post was not clear enough, i have a law of assumption cheat sheet on twitter for clearer info. but after this, its time to delete your apps and actually apply. im not playing.

- for the links that are from twitter: some of them are threads and you could only see it thro the twitter app to see the full thread

thank you so much for reading. i rly hope this helps people and clears things up. now delete your apps and apply! it all comes down to YOU.

kisses, jani ☆

[afewfantasies]

🗡️ꜰᴇʏᴅ'ꜱ ʙʟᴀᴅᴇ 🗡️ - VII - KARMA

MASTERLIST

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 6.5K

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Feyd Rautha X Reader

ᴘʟᴏᴛ: Feyd-Rautha gets a bitter taste of his own medicine. His arrival on Arrakis is not all he hoped it would be with his lady. He learns she is far more than meets the eye and his desire for her is only heightened by her newfound agency. Feyd doesnt mind playing by her rules, so long as he gets lucky.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: NSFW, minors do not engage, sexually explicit content and violence.

The black and white hues of Giedi Prime blur as you sit in your chambers. Your chest rises and falls as people bustle around you. Pale women and men without hair dressed in black work efficiently to ride your chambers of every single personal touch you’ve placed within. White noise plays in your mind as the events of your time here blur together. Sadness has turned into anger, and belonging into loneliness. It leaves you in a gray haze. Beyond the palace cisterns of water are loaded on to industrial ships, as well as several months worth of excessive provisions for Arrakis. You can't help but wonder if your new home will bring happiness and stability. If you and Feyd will reconcile, if things will get better. You hear the whispers. The Fremen lore is so powerful it seems to scare the terrifying brutal people of Giedi Prime. It’s a fact that seems ironic to you. Feyd will have his work cut out for him, knowing how much he enjoys bloodsports you have little hope that he’ll have time for you. Honestly, you're not even sure of what you want from him. A throat clears pulling you from your daze. Feyd’s attendant holds a silver platter with a scroll on it. Instead of speaking you give him a bored look.

“From the na-Baron” he says, only your heart doesn’t flutter like it should.

Taking the scroll you read it out of mercy. Uncrossing your legs you lift yourself off the dining room table and step down into the sunken living room, then back up to the main doors. Feyd has requested your presence. A pod awaits and you enter before his attendants can help you in. You’re still angry at him. Livid actually. There are no flutters of anticipation as you speed through the corridors. It takes several minutes before you arrive at a foreign wing of the palace. You're escorted into an elevator that ascends just as fast and as violent as all the others. Your heart begins to race a little, your senses become acute. You feel like a rat in a trap when the attendants stop following you into the dimly lit room. You tense hoping your abilities can be of service but a bright light can be seen in the distance. You try to listen for the sound of the Baron’s suspension device and cringe in anticipation of his scent - only it doesn’t come. The air becomes light, with each step you find yourself breathing easier, the air is cool and light. As you get closer you see rich green foliage that goes against everything you’ve ever learned about the industrial planet. Looking around you make note of the rich plant life, several of which produce deadly poisons but are beautiful nonetheless. Feyd materializes dressed in his regalia, a long floor length tunic that accentuates his shoulders and striking features. His full lips stretch into a smirk. Once you’ve entered the strange room you see a table has been set elegantly. 

Feyd-Rautha steps into your personal space and in spite of the magnetic chemistry between you, you step back. He catches you at your waist, not allowing you to move any further. Swallowing you refuse to cower and look at him with defiance. Flowers and a nice breakfast don’t begin to account for the pain he’s caused you. It’s like he reads your thoughts and lets you go. Feyd steps back swallowing, shame flashes across his expression in vulnerability as he tries to understand your cold reaction to his gesture. He’d never put as much thought or time into anything for anyone before. 

“Na-Baron, you requested my presence” you speak and Feyd cuts his eyes at you.

“Breakfast” he says, omitting the truth that he’d gotten only a few hours of tortured sleep and felt convicted enough to seek redemption for his actions.

“I don’t have an appetite, thank you” you smile politely but Feyd knows well enough it’s insincere. He cannot feel the energy that usually accompanies the gesture.

“Should I call a physician?” Feyd asks.

“No need, I’ve had my prognosis” you comment looking at his rare meat. The iron rich scent still makes you a little queasy. More-so, now that you're upset with the na-baron.

“I was not made aware of any assessments” Feyd comments.

“I’m sick of this planet and the people on it.” You speak recklessly. Surprise covers Feyd’s expression. You’d ever been so uncouth or cold towards him. He watches you turn, giving him your ass to kiss. He’d have anyone else strung up for such insolence. He watches the swish of your step as you sashay away. It was a declaration of war, a death wish, a slight against people who would undoubtedly become yours in due time. Feyd-Rautha had never chased anything in all his years; he hunted, he stalked, he tracked. He was the predator and whatever he had set his sights upon was prey. Swallowing his pride he pursues you widening his stride. It only takes him moments to be at your side, your angry eyes slicing him with a gaze that levels him. He’d never seen anything like it.

“My Lady” he rasps, stopping you.

“My Lord?” You respond indignantly.

You radiate a defiance unlike anything Feyd had never encountered. Indignity and a disregard for your own well being. There’d never been any guideline on how to handle you beyond his feelings and intuition. If his socialization would have it, he would have you begging for death in an hour. The mere thought of such harsh punishment has him shudder stepping back. He’d been conditioned to respond to disrespect and defiance with brutality. 

“What is your issue?” He snaps grabbing your hand.

“There are no crowds, I am not required to perform” you snap. Clenching his jaw he lets your hand go. 

“Is that all they teach at the academy, how to twist a person's words against them?” He snaps.

“If you don't like your own words then maybe you should think before you speak!” you snap back.

“Mind your temper, mind our child” he snaps looking at your stomach.Swallowing you fight everything in yourself to withhold tears.

“Lets not go tit for tat Feyd, I will be on the ship, I will play the part that’s expected of me” you respond. He says nothing more as you approach the pod.

“Out” Feyd growls at the drivers, they disperse and you allow Feyd to get to your door. You don’t thank him for getting in and he drives to the docks. You relax in the passenger seat and he steals glances slightly impressed with your anger. He wants nothing more than to touch you, to lay hands on your stomach but he doesn't want to add to your newfound rage.

“Guess I should be happy you feel safe enough to behave this terribly without fear” he comments. “It means you know I love you” Feyd says instead.

“You just don’t treat me like it” you respond and he makes a frustrated sound. 

“Enough” he warns and you roll your eyes at him. The gesture is so flagrant he nearly loses control of the pod. 

“Not even close” you respond as the vehicle comes to a stop. Leia is standing with your other staff. You get out on your own as you hear the drums begin for his unmistakable score. Turning back to him you cast him a final look as the crowd begins their chant.

“Feyd-Rautha

Feyd-Rautha

Feyd-Rautha” 

Nothing else needs to be said. So you make your way onto the ship feeling his eyes on you the entire way in. Your heart races feeling exhilarated. You feel powerful, you feel like you have agency for the first time in very long.

Petty squabbles have never been your thing, since childhood you’d been keen to let things go easily. Time with the ones we love is fleeting and no one knows that more than you. Still, you find yourself resentful of what transpired. Your desire was not to throw caution to the wind, or to openly defy the Baron. Your thoughts had been with Feyd, your actions born out of love and fear for his well being. You had no desire to delve further into the spider's web, and yet the Baron still had you trapped. You just wanted the days and nights to return to what they once were. With Feyd’s insatiable appetite for you being at the forefront of his mind. You wanted to feed his physical desire for you, to satisfy him, to make his days easier. To ensure his cuts and bruises were on the mend to ensure the father of the child quickening in your womb was alright. His response to your love and care could not be so easily forgiven, no matter how hard you tried. 

“You must take your leave of me when we arrive in Arrakis. Take time for yourself, make friends, find someone” you smile. Your plight had become hers with a few exceptions. Leia reaches for your hand resting her head against yours as she scoots beside you.

“We’re sisters, I will never desert you.” She promises and you smile.

“We’re sisters, I will never rob you of your ambition or personal desires” you retort.

“Now that you’ve had a taste of love my company is not enough?” She smiles, taking you in a hug.

“It’s just a different yearning” you disagree. “If things weren’t so bad I could feel good. I could handle the distance but I’m so angry with him and I know nothing is promised but Leia, I am seething” you confess closing your eyes.

“You ought to be angry with him, going up to the Baron you were risking your life as much as he was and we know nothing of mindless customs. You meant no harm and he knows your heart is pure” Leia says and you smile at her for her alliance.

“Exactly” you nod.

“Feyd-Rautha is not known for being a rational or sensible man. His treatment of you is ill advised but for what he’s capable of, I don’t think anyone can deny there’s love there. No physical harm has come to you” Leia defends and you roll your eyes at her sensibility. You’d knowingly fallen for a monster, what could you expect. He hadn’t been a kind, gentleman. He was a killer, a brutal man prone to torture and treachery. He’d taken your maidenhead before marriage, he kept humanoid creatures as pets, the list of misdeeds were neverending, still you couldn't deny the love there.

“If what I’ve done is unforgivable then why not do away with me? Give me a tea to end the pregnancy and return me to the academy?” You ask not understanding the harshness of Feyd’s shunning. Feyd stops in the doorway, his acute sense of hearing trained to your discussion. Do away with you? Terminate the pregnancy and send you back to the academy? Had you listened to anything he’d said or paid attention to any of his actions? Anger surges through him again and he turns away heading to his own chambers. The thought of losing you too much, the thought of anyone else having you was too much. It was why he’d been upset in the first place. Your submission to his uncle. He was supposed to be the only man to bring you to your knees. You were never supposed to subject yourself, him, or an unborn child to that. He thought having you would end the obsessive thoughts, cool the fire within him, satiate his insatiable need but it had done the opposite. Therein lies the problem. Feyd-Rautha had never been able to control himself or hold back in any scenarios. Open defiance like what you had shown was a new concept for him. Other women would have never. Other women wouldn’t have survived it. It wasn’t so much that your acts were unforgivable, Feyd could never hate you long term but he had hated you in those few moments, he’d hated the image, what it represented.

Unsheathing one of his short blades, Feyd twists it into the table top as he ponders his next steps. He balances it on its point and then balances the blade rolling it between his fingers without cutting himself. Rising he turns to the cork wall in his chambers pulling out a drawer. Right now the board would be a sit in for the Baron. With each throw, blade after blade nicks the Baron. In Feyd’s mind, he’d sliced the shield off his uncle's finger before it could be activated. Then he’d began slicing and carving up the man that had his na-baroness questioning the love he bore her. Feyd holds nothing back, letting it all out. His guards tremble at the door mistaking his plan of vengeance from a foul mood.

“Na-Baron, we will be descending in half an hour” the attendant trembles, snapping him out of his dazed state. Feyd wanted nothing more than to drag you into the bathing chamber and place soap and a scrubber in your hands. He wouldn’t say a word, you’d have to figure out what he wanted. He would make you clean every inch of him thoroughly as he watched. Your anger and the charged energy between you both add to your electricity and the danger of it all. He could feel it now as he stepped into the shower, your soft hands running soap along his chest, the admiration for his form in your eyes always did something to him. He hoped anger would never change that. Top to bottom, he would guide you to your knees only to have you test your own work. He would guide his already hard manhood into your mouth. He’d speak for the first time asking you if it’s clean as he pushes it in so far you gag needing reprieve. He’d use your defiance against you, it would be the perfect recipe for a violent orgasm. He’d pinch one of your nipples to further his cruelty as you tried to undo him with your mouth. He’d grab a handful of your hair for leverage, he’d lie and tell you it was the worst blowjob he’d ever received through closed eyes and gritted teeth. It would incense you, he knows it would, but you won’t get up and walk away, you’d somehow get even better rising to the occasion. The hatred for him in your eyes fuelling his desire for you. Your eyes looking back at him as you draw in your cheeks adding more suction. When he was close he’d push you away by the throat to avoid the defeat of coming everywhere. He couldn’t grant you that victory with those defiant eyes. He could picture you turning to walk away upset and seeming unbothered and that’s when he would crack. His heart would race as he swiped two fingers at your folds, closing his eyes with pride when he felt your honey oozing for him. He’d put his dick where it belonged, burying it deep within you. He’d be undone by all the angry tension leaving your face and body as you re-acclimate to him. He’d steady you in the slippery bathing chambers thrusting hard. It would be quick, it’d been too long. He’d have your back against the chamber walls pressing his weight into you as he empties his arousal into you. He’d leave himself in, still hard and ready for more. That first kiss would be his apology, he’d get lost in it. There wouldn’t need to be any words as he looked into your eyes dispelling any concerns about the status of his desire for you. Disconnecting would be a task but it would be his turn to wash you up. The people of Arrakis would have to wait for the na-baron and his intended to dismount from the ship. He’d take your hand keeping you at his side so the people knew they had to answer to the both of you. On Arrakis you would be equals. He would teach you to keep your head held high. He’d take his time making love to you a few more times that afternoon before going on his first raids.

Opening his eyes Feyd releases a firm grip from his manhood. The mere fantasy of you is far more powerful than the prospect of another woman. Ridding himself of his mess, he leaves the bathing chambers getting on his garments and then his armor. Unlike most he needed to cover himself under the powerful Arrakeen sun. You hear Feyd's strong stride before you see him. Turning you see the na-baron, he has the flush he has after he’s made love to you. Your heart skips, your stomach falls and you feel loss - he’d been with someone. Frowning you swallow the sting of his infidelity bowing to him in the company of the huge procession traveling with you.

The bay doors descend slowly to a flurry of whispers and celebration sounds. The heat is strong, your robes blow slightly in the ever so slight breeze that seems to bring more heat than reprieve. Taking Leia’s had you step forward seeing the crowds. You go to take the discreet way onto the palatial grounds with the staff. Trying to remain calm in the face of the people about Feyd’s disloyalty. You look out at the hooded people and begin stepping down like the rest of the procession. A firm hand takes your wrist. Feyd looks down at you. His face is somewhat obstructed by a face shield contraption. Leia stops letting go when she sees Feyd’s hand around your wrist. To both of their surprise you snatch your wrist out of his grasp heading to follow the entourage. Feyd stands shocked allowing you to make several determined steps away before grabbing you by the arm this time. He presses the shield on his face making the screen go away.

“Walk” he commands tilting his head in the direction of the people. Blind rage has you angry enough to openly defy him once more.

“Go with him” Leia says telepathically. Swallowing your anger you adjust your robes and jewelry before turning to face Feyd. He holds a hand out for you to take it. You're so disgusted by his betrayal you cannot. Disgruntled Feyd grabs your hand before striding down the opening ship for onlookers. The reception is mixed, people shout different things, all respectful as far as you reckon. The strength of the sun mixed with the fire kindling in you is a dangerous combination.

“What’s the matter with you?” Feyd asks once you’ve completed the long walk into the palace.

“You don’t care” you grit. As the doors are closed behind you. Looking up you see the brown stone walls all around you. The attendants and staff are already more promising, not all of them are hairless and stark. Their eyes are warm and though there may be treachery in them you don’t foresee the same imminent danger as in Giedi Prime.

“Disperse!” Feyd roars, dragging you into a room as people scatter. He closes the door behind you and you turn, shoving him back reaching for the door as he holds it shut above you. Turning your back is against the wall, Feyd stands over you with his hand pressed against the door above your head. He doesn’t know whether to be turned on or murderous about your disrespect. Somehow your angry eyes are just as beautiful as your happy ones. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you stare back at him the tension thick between you.

“What?” You snap, stomping. 

“It must be the child that has you in this way!” He snaps with a clenched jaw.

“You were with someone on the ship here. Don’t lie to me, I know I can see it in your eyes, in your stance. Go to her and leave me be” you snap, turning to the door but there’s no knob and your strength isn’t a match for Feyd’s. When you turn he wears a smirk, losing it you shove him back for mocking you further. Chuckling he lets you take a few determined steps away.

“There’s one exit” he says, having you trapped. He undoes his armor and you wish you were strong enough to hurt him.

“There was no one else, no one else just visions of you and my hand” Feyd says, stopping you in your tracks. You stare at him, he’d never been a liar thus far and had no reason to lie but… taking a deep breath you pause trying to sense if it's the truth or not.

“I’ve already explained I need your love, I don’t do substitutions” Feyd-Rautha says and his tone does not waiver. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment over your behavior. You curse yourself for the colorful display and rush for the door. Your shoes make noise on the stone floor, the halls are deserted, you just follow the path until Feyd’s steps sound behind yours. When you reach the edge of the hall a few people look relieved to see you alive, Leia chief among them. 

“Anything the lady wants” Feyd speaks before turning in the direction of his war council. The sooner he could eradicate the Fremen rebellion the sooner he could tend to the woman he found himself thinking the gods had fashioned just for him. The crazy outburst stroking new flames within him. Going against his better judgment Feyd follows you into your chambers and the staff clears out. You turn to face him. He must think you’re a weak minded, stupid, lovesick, silly woman. The smirk on his face tells you he’s enjoying every moment of this. 

“Kneel” you tell him telepathically. You can feel resistance as he tries to decipher what’s happening to him. Feyd-Rautha falls to his knees. His eyes are on yours as you close the distance between you. “I may have been on my knees but I never begged” you say once again, your words leave your mind floating into his. You see comprehension in his eyes when he realizes your mouth hasn't moved. “It was never submission and if you opened your thick head and let me be there for you, you would know that! And then we wouldn’t be at odds and you wouldn’t have to have used your hand today. I would’ve been happy to show my appreciation to you and to walk at your side. Now I want you gone from my sight.” Your message is conveyed. Feyd goes to speak, “Silence” you declare and his lips close. “Stand and leave now, tend to your spice, finish your raid, leave me be” you add, turning away from him again. You can feel the resistance but ultimately in this area you are stronger than Feyd-Rautha. He says nothing, getting on his feet and leaving.

Deep admiration for you swells within him, at your strength, power and prowess. He’d been right about the gods.

———

Feyd-Rautha’s ability to focus is what set him apart from his brother. Unlike Rabanne he made everything coordinated on live feeds. There would be an overwhelming use of force in sync, giving the Fremen little time to react. He’d been tracking their movements and instead of wasting manpower he would use firepower to do as much damage as possible. He feared no one while out in the desert, unlike most he would not tire or dehydrate so fast. He’d withstood trials in extreme heat before and practiced fighting in the sand. Looking at the triangulation on the live map he uses the heat cameras to ensure the areas are as populated as was reported before callously pressing the buttons. Watching from the safety of his ship he sees all of the attacks have been successful. All possible entrances were destroyed. He has his reserve force evacuate the known alternate refuges. He’d had the doors re-wired to open allowing a large number of people inside before closing. Then those inside would be eviscerated in moments. The remaining living Fremen would be more desperate to crack, more pliable or more radical. Either way, there would be value in turning those few survivors. It would be consolation for all the restraint he required to deal with you. The success of his mission yields happy thoughts. Relaxing in his seat he considers his actions. In his preparation for Arrakis he had underestimated you greatly.

 Like one of his knives, the more beautiful the more deadly - the same was to be said for you. Your beautiful eyes were more piercing than a sword, looking as innocent as they do while yielding the ability to rob a man of his free will without a word. If it hadn't been for your blood within Feyd he never would have known it was you, as the sound of the voice in his head was his own. He felt the urge to kneel and do everything else you declared. Unlike with the late Bene Gesserit whose voice felt like a demand. The sound of shots being fired from the ship gets his attention as Fremen leaving the caves are killed.

“Should we go down and take hostages?” One of his men asks.

“No” Feyd says, not willing to risk his trip back home to you.

After a long day of fighting and bloodshed Feyd is satisfied by how things have gone. He could place harvesters down but he didn’t want to lose any others. He wouldn't risk it. He had better alternatives. Unlike his brother Feyd could take his time, there was no need for great haste just success.

“Reports of my betrothed?” He asks.

“She has had her lunch and dinner. She and her ladies went out into the night markets to give the excess to the people, specifically the children. She was advised against it but - she did as she wished.” The Mentat says. Feyd knows the creature's allegiance is to the Baron.

“If my betrothed requires advice I’m sure she will request it” Feys responds on your behalf.

“My lord it is unsafe and ill advised” the Mentat says. Feyd is no fool; he knows the objective of your exploration is undoubtedly to cause him grief but that frustration would be his and no one else’s. He slices the creature's throat without another thought and settles into his seat as the blood pools. Attendants carry the body out and silence falls on the ship.

Back on at the palace you feel far more settled and stable after a night enjoying the people and culture of Arrakis. It’s been so long since you’ve experienced any semblance of normalcy being at the academy and then on Giedi Prime. Your father had been a kind ruler and you hoped to be the same. Arrakeen mothers had been reluctant at first but then they’d come willingly. The kids had smiled as they ate things they’d never tried before, melons and other fruits not native to the desert. The party only grew in size as the people came to celebrate your kindness and arrival. You danced and laughed with Leia feeling as though you could breathe for the first time in so long. The blue eyed people sprinkled into the crowds brought you back to your visions but none looked like that woman watching you in a still suit. You return to your chambers with jewelry, silks and perfumes. Leia retires before you’re ready for sleep. You sit in the windowsill looking out into the nights shadows. You sense Feyd before you hear his soft steps. When you turn he’s in his night clothes, ready for bed. Unfortunately the technology in Arrakis is more analog and so keeping him out will take time. You’re happy he’s back safe, in spite of everything.

You want nothing more than to sit in his lap and melt into his arms. But, Feyd-Rautha has taught you much of the pride a na-baroness is supposed to have. The emotional control required of you, the constant calculation and maneuvering is exhausting.

“Come to bed” he commands, unwilling to submit. 

“Where are your quarters?” You ask and Feyd looks around. Frowning you raise an eyebrow. “It’s against custom, we’ve yet to marry” you remind him.

“You’ve chosen these rooms, there is no suitable room close enough to suit my needs” Feyd explains.

“Well as much as custom is important to you it is to me and I’d like you to take your leave” you comment taking the steps down from the window. Feyd smirks knowing he deserves your pettiness.

“Customs rooted in the opinions of others have no bearing on our relationship” Feyd says without humor.

“Since when?” you ask

“New place, new start” he declares conveniently.

“Why do you get the final say?” You ask as he closes in on you. Holding an arm out you keep him at arm's length. His eyes are on yours as he kisses the inside of your wrist. “Want to make it right?” You ask and he nods. “Sleep in your quarters, leave me be tonight” you tell him, getting a guttural growl in response. 

“No” he steps in and you step back.

“Yes. Then tomorrow; new place, new start” you respond, maintaining the distance. Feyds features harden; he steps forward again and you step back. It’s a battle of wills you're well aware Feyd could overpower you and your abilities only seemed to take when you were experiencing extremely heightened negative emotions. If Feyd pushed hard enough you’d crack wanting him as much as he wants you especially after this morning.

“Fine,” he agrees. Smiling you let your hand down, frustrated he turns away annoyed at your excitement. He takes a few steps down heading to the door without a goodnight.

“Feyd?” you call and he turns. “What was I doing in your fantasy on the ship?” You tease, his frown turns to a smile and he shakes his head heading to the door.

“I was giving you the hard fucking I should’ve started with” he says with his back to you. Turning to face you he assesses your pensive reaction. Shrugging you turn your back to him heading back up to the window.

“Maybe you can work on earning those privileges” you comment and he smiles shaking his head, he’d make you eat your words.

“Goodnight my love” he rasps.

“Good night na-Baron” you respond and he stops giving you another look. He gives you the opportunity to bid him the proper farewell and when it doesn’t come he strides to you up the stairs. Your heart races as his eyes fall to your lips instead he stinks down to a squat pulling you to him. He places a kiss on your stomach.

“Your father Feyd-Rautha loves you dearly, so I’ll let your mother have her way this night. I want you to be strong and healthy” Feyd says before standing. It’s high-level manipulation. You both know it as you melt. Feyd has never been known to play fair.

“Love you” he says again before leaving. You feel goosebumps pepper your skin. You lock the door behind him after palming your stomach. You step slowly back to your bedroom. Once in his quarters nearly five minutes away Feyd sits on his bed. It had been a foolish bit of architecture, clearly the previous occupants hadn’t loved each other, what other reason was there for such impracticality. He would have that rectified the moment the spice was flowing again. Turning on his screen he looks in on you. His eyes gape at the sight. There you are in a red and gold set that makes you look ethereal, wilder than any dream or fantasy his mind could ever conjure.

You had purchased a new wardrobe from the market. Undergarments and clothing said to stoke passion and desire from your lover. Something about the racy garments brought your thoughts to Feyd. It was supposed to be a surprise for your reconciliation but playing as dirty as he was now would have to do. Knowing his voyeuristic tendencies you put it on quickly before he could get into his room. You picture the lust in his eyes as he sees you on screen. The bra fits your breasts so well, the new volume of them confirming your pregnancy to him, as did the new curve of your hips. Barely visible changes to anyone else, but Feyd studied every inch of your figure. He watches as your hands hover over all the parts of you he loves so much. Untying the short red sarong of sorts he sees a small undergarment that covers hardly anything. Nothing similar could be found on Giedi Prime and he’d brought nothing of the sort from the academy. Arching your back you continue your striptease emboldened by Feyd’s own manipulation. You drag your hands up your behind the way Feyd does. You can feel his eyes on you as you pad to the bathing chambers. It's not as technical as the self cleaning mechanisms of Giedi but it will do. You part with your top before your bottoms baring it all unabashedly for Feyd your skin heating from the thrill of your seduction. You stand under the stream of water in view of the camera, facing him. You glisten, radiating confidence and seduction. He should be in there with you making his reverie come true. It’s a great miracle he remains seated growing painfully hard as he watches you wash up. He wanted to know you as intimately as you know yourself again. It should be his hands on you and yours on him. How could he ever be so stupid to risk you? Only you would be so crazy, so daring to push him so close to the edge. Freeing himself of his pants he uses his early arousal for slip.

You put on a show for him knowing he needs it, knowing he’s watching.  Adjusting yourself to the cameras you make sure he has the perfect view. Stepping from the shower to the air dryer you pad naked to your closet and pick out a sheer sleep set. Feyd can hardly stand not being able to touch you, he would let you be this once. Turning you lean against the intercom knowing it goes to him first looking at the camera he feels like your eyes meet his and he freezes mid stroke. Your eyes seem to be looking through him, your smirk all knowing as it curls into a smile. His breathing slows as you look to him coyly.

“White or lilac?” You ask looking up at the camera shattering his secret. His heart begins to race as it registers. The act had not been innocent but all for him. A tantalizing seduction you were taunting him with what was his and he yet he couldn't have.

“You're a bad bad bad na-baroness” he responds his voice is so guttural you know he’s pleasuring himself. Relaxing you smile nodding.

“So you’d better be a very good na-baron, going forward” you respond.

“Lilac your grace” he says and you dress slowly for him. “You don’t know what-”

You cut him off by pressing the button to chip him out, “Shows over Feyd-Rautha, sleep well my love” You say cutting off the light to leave him high and dry. As much as you want him you stand your ground as he had stood his. Smiling Feyd only feels arousal. It takes no time at all to finish himself off. His attraction to you was becoming dangerous, at this rate he would never stop having children.  He would need you every night, sometimes multiple times a day. You were teaching him so much about partnership, showing him grace where he’d shown you pride and immaturity. You had never asked him for change, you’d never asked him for anything really. He felt the shame of his actions, he was going to be a father soon and the only place he should be is beside you in bed. It had been his plan for Arrakis.  Feyd vows that it will be different come morning, he would hire the seamstresses to make multiples. He would begin the wedding preparations without the Baron’s consent. He would be the best lover and father. He would erase all ambiguity showing his love with the same unbridled abandon he showed his wrath.

The heated air rouses Feyd from an uncomfortable night's sleep. Coming to his senses slowly, you're the first thing on his mind. Checking the tablet he doesn’t see you in your chambers. Frowning as he stood there was no time to set up any other parts with such high tech cameras. He freshens up before dressing in his typical attire attaching his blade belt. Order would need to be maintained and fear would be his best motivator. Pushing open his bedroom door there’s no sign of movement. Looking around he heads to your quarters and stops at the scent of fresh blood. Running he sees dead guards littered all around the vicinity. Rushing to your door  he finds evidence of forced entry and pushes it open to find the room he’d seen on the screen, there were no signs of struggle. Heading to your bedside as your heart races he sees the lilac set has been discarded.

Leia comes to mind. He rushes over to her quarters and finds her tied up and gagged. Her tears weaken Feyds knees and he stumbles back into the wall. Taking the blade he cuts the bonds.

“They came looking for you, I heard footsteps but I couldn’t get to her in time. We were communicating telepathically, and I was about to get help when men came in and did this” she explains fast with tears in her eyes. Feyd has the urge to end her life but he already had enough to apologize to you for.

“Was she hurt?”

“No, there was a bag over her head. They were asking her for you” Leia explains. It’s the challenge of Feyd’s life. Pushing through he heads to the control center only to find all the surveillance systems down and workers dead. It had been an inside job. Grabbing a tablet he goes into your room's cameras rewinding the footage. You’re seconds away from pressing the intercom when they come in with guns pointed at you and his unborn. 

“Where is the Harkonnen scum?” you’re asked as you raise your hand in surrender. The guards repeat themselves and you go to scream only to have a black bag put over your head to silence you. They declare they’re taking you for questioning. The men leave and three women stand around you ransacking your closet. Feyd watches as they strip you, dressing you and then putting a still suit over your garments. Rising his chest heaves when he realizes you're destined for the desert. Seeing red, he vows to turn the dunes of Arrakis red with Fremen blood.

______________________

Authors Note:

I now this was a long one, probably the longest part I've ever written. Thank you so much for reading it. What do we think of the Lady's payback? Feyd's attempts to redeem himself and his double dose of Karma? Remember those visions a few chapters ago? What do we think happens next?

If you enjoyed, like comment and reblog.

See you in the comments below, xoxo

______________________

Tags:

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[mxqdii]

hey! i love love your work, and i was wondering if i could request a chris sturniolo x fem!reader?

maybe reader is also a well known influencer, or an actress or something of the sort, and there’s rumours about her and chris being together that they haven’t really confirmed?

but they are dating and she’s on live one day and he calls her like an intimate pet name, or just overall says something that shows they are in fact together and like the comments on the live just go crazy and stuff and shes like telling chris she’s on live or whatver

im so sorry if this doesnt make sense 🙏🙏

stop bc i requested pretty much this same thing to another author (on wattpad) a few months back, so when i read this request it was such an "i made it" moment (i love u sm, you're just like me fr fr)

baby - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris accidentally calls reader 'baby' while she's on live, revealing to the whole world that they're dating/

warning(s): fluff, reader calling chris bro 😔

not proofread

i'm sitting on the couch, watching tv, bored out of my mind.

then an idea hits me, i could go on live!

i used to go live a lot with the triplets, but only on their account, so it would be fun to go live on mine.

i open instagram and click the live button, watching the stream fill with thousands of people

"holy shit that's a lot of people" i say with a nervous laugh

"uhh i guess i'll answer any questions anyone has! so feel free to ask anything!" i add, smiling

i read through the comments, lots of them asking where the triplets are

i can't help but notice seeing a few asking if me and chris are dating.

fortunately, those allegations are true! but we've decided to keep it quiet for, just for now.

still, there’s only so much one can hide from the public

and although me and chris haven't said anything, i think everybody knows anyway.

people can see our glances, our gestures, how close we are, it's all pretty obvious.

i answer a few questions like my favorite singer, when my next video is coming out, podcast stuff with the triplets, and just some other various topics.

suddenly i hear the door unlock, looking over at it, but not really caring.

maybe i can get whichever triplet that is to join my live.

chris walks in and i smile in his direction

"hey baby" he says and my expression immediately drops.

i look at him, PALE.

(absolutely terrified to look back at the screen)

"what?" he says, walking closer, i turn my head to the screen, anticipating my death.

i let out a sigh of relief seeing the comments

@ssturniolo BABY???

@strniolo AWWWWWWWW

@lvrsparadise GOODBYE I LOVE THEM.

@ellieswifie this is such a chris and y/n mistake 😭

@lavieenvalentina i'm so happy for them i'll cry

(shoutout to everyone tagged ILY<;3)

as i'm reading the comments, i smile, chris hovering over me reading them too

suddenly he hugs me from behind, squeezing me tight

"chris!" i say laughing

"let me go bro" i whine

"you did not just call me bro" he says, immediately stopping

his death glare makes me laugh

"consider it payback for you calling me baby on live" i say laughing

(him clearly not amused)

"okay fine fine im sorry, guys it's all okay he's not my bro please let me redeem myself" i say joking on the last part

me and chris stay on live for another 30 minutes, answering questions about how we got together and just stuff about our relationship.

"bye guys we love you!!" i say, ending the live

i close out of insta, putting my phone down with an exhausted sigh

"so?" i mumble, anticipating chris's response

"so? so nothing" he say's with a smile and i face palm

"chris! we just told like, the world that we're dating" i laugh

"yeah, and i'm happy about it, like honestly i can't think of a better way it could've happened" he says

we both look at eachother and burst out laughing

"we're a little interesting thats for sure" i say

"i can't believe we tell the world we're dating ON ACCIDENT and then you start calling me bro" chris says, making me laugh harder

"i was nervous! im sorry!" i yell with my hands up in defense

"yeah yeah, it's fine" he says, wrapping his arms around me

"bro" he adds on

"chris i swear to god-"

TAGLIST:

@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm

[liliesbeauty]

konig x housewife!afabreader

Part 1 Part 2

warning(s): none

note(s): literally thought about this during class

translation(s): Liebchen - sweetheart, Liebling - darling, Arschlöcher - assholes (please note that I used google translate for these words so please correct me if it's doesn't make sense)

thinking about (y/n) writing cute letters to her dear husband while he's away on missions; lipstick kisses on the corners, handkerchiefs with her sweet floral perfume, little Polaroids of her posing with their Caucasian Shepherd (yes i did look this up) that konig insisted on getting for protection because who can protect his little wifey if he isnt here :( writes long pages of how she spends her days without him, doesn't matter how long the letters are or how boring they might seem, konig will read all of them with longing in his heart. only wanting to cuddle his little liebchen in their comfortable home.

and speaking about home, thinking about how konig built their home in the middle of the woods to ensure no one would kidnapp his wifey because you can resist her cute face (and totally not because he's a war criminal^_^) made sure to build in heating floors so her dainty feet wouldn't go cold in the winter since he won't be there all the time to rub them. built (y/n) her dream kitchen so that she can cook and bake till her heart desires, and of course, konig eating all of her creations without a complain, even if she messed up on any of them because his liebling worked hard to feed her strong husband. once in a while he'll join her with helping her gather any ingredients that she needs, helping her stir the mix so her hands won't grow calluses like his had over the years, and even frost some cute heart cookies. letting (y/n) decorate the house to her liking because if she finds it pretty, then he finds it pretty, and ultimately, it won't really matter to him because he isn't really at home anyways :(

thinking about how (y/n)'s only job is being an influencer because it's the only job that doesn't require to leave home and doesn't strain his beautiful wifey. getting insecure about all the "hot" arschlöcher that want his pretty wife's attention, but she never responds to any of the messages. posting cute tiktoks and reels together, either cooking, of course not showing his face, and trying cute trends. loves seeing his wifey get all glamed up for him to have an intimate dinner that eventually ends in the bed. Seeing how excited she gets everytime he comes home with huge bouquet and expensive jewelry that doesnt come close to putting a dent in his bank account from his mysterious job, only adding more to her collection and later on comforting her once she realize the flowers will die eventually. letting her take shopping sprees if only she models all the outfits she bought with his money, of course she's not allowed to spend any of her money even though she has her own money from her little job. konig still believes his wife's only job is to sit, look pretty and love him unconditionally.

literally kisses the floor his wife steps on because a goddess finds him worthy enough to love.

[arsonkoobi]

taekooker to jikooker: my personal experience.

this is merely how i felt and all the things i saw while being a hardcore taekooker for almost a year and a half. if you get offended, im sorry but the unfollow and block button is right there, i dont mind. i love taekook themselves, but i can no longer look at them in the way i used to. now they genuinely look like best friends to me. people change, and their perceptions and views on different aspects of life change. thats what happened to me.

I first joined this fandom 5 years ago in mid january 2018 through my friends. taehyung was my first ever bias, so most of the bts related yt recs i had were mostly of taehyung and ot7, and occasional ship videos among which taekook was the most prominent. me being a curious lil unsuspecting lamb, clicked on one, it also helped that my friends were taekookers as well so i dived pretty deep into the rabbit hole of taekook. im gonna be writing my thoughts and experiences on shipping taekook at different times of the year. i dont remember every single detail clearly (like this was 5 years ago) so forgive me if i sound vague at times plus this will only be a summary. without further ado, lets start, shall we?

february-march, 2018

by this time, i already watched quite a few taekook analysis videos, i also came across a few tkk_lives' videos(i think i came across her vids like much later but i just included it here) as well as other deluded channels. i fell even deeper into the rabbit hole. i thought taekook were the epitome of boyfriends silly in love, i felt like they had the best chemistry and that they were the ones whose ship actually made sense. i feel so embarrassed to admit this but one of my rather major reasons for shipping them was how good they looked tgthr🤦‍♀️(im a changed person now i promise). now i realise many tkk analysis channels tend to heavily edit things to make it look like theres something going on, overanalysing things to no end, it made me see them as if they were closer than they actually are, and as if theyre hiding something, but it was really just heavy and clever editing that forces your mind to get convinced. it was quite literally manipulative. plus back then, i was rather immature and hadnt even been in a rltnshp yet, so i blindly believed whatever they said. i believed every narrative and every theory they put out even if i knew lots of them didnt even make sense. they constantly also put out the jealous jungkook/taehyung whenever the other breathes next to another member..as i now realise, thats one of the biggest toxic traits a person can have. they were always pushing tkk as a toxic relationship without even knowing it(or just ignoring it). i also do not like jikook analysis vids where they are portrayed as the same territorial mfs who cant stand the other interacting with anyone else but himself. bc thats literally pushing their relationship as a toxic one and making them look toxic, and i would rather not do that.

march/april-september, 2018

i only watched taekook vids and funny bts moments for a long while as a baby army. i didnt watch official content very much, i ddint even know how to watch official content..i didnt know bangtantv existed yet💀 this tkk analysis watching continued for around 4 or so months after i became an army before i took an unintentional break from them(analysis vids) and i went on twitter. twitter, was so much worse(as i now realise). i didnt have an account at that time and learnt to browse on twt without one(it doesnt really let you do that anymore). at first, i found nothing weird or unusual and i enjoyed lurking on twitter, but slowly i started to see the ugly side of the community. i found multiple accounts directly or indirectly hating on jimin. i was weirded out. very weirded out. i was quite conflicted but..i only thought of it as jimin haters who were coincidentally tkkrs, maybe i refused to see tkk shippers in a bad light? probably, unfortunately i cant remember much and as i said, i was immature.

october-december, 2018

i stumbled across gcf in tokyo somewhere in october, i think it was in a fanwar on twitter and a jkkr said "at least we have this" or sumn along that line and put a link to gcft . idek how i didnt see it earlier. immediately after watching it, i felt..weird, conflicted, insecure. insecure about my ship. it seemed so romantic to me even then. but ofc i didnt let myself give up immediately, and i searched interviews + info about it, i found tkkrs saying vminkook were supposed to go tgthr and jikook only went bc they had a few days off and tae didnt. that gave me a lil bit of security and i held onto that thread of security and refused to believe or even hear out the actual fact(which i will come to later). as you can see, i was a stubborn mf. inside i knew that even if tae not having time off was the "only" reason behind jikook's japan trip, it was still unusual and suspicious to go on a trip with only your "bro" when said "bro" has told you and the world multiple times that they wanna go on a trip alone with you, when the hotel room you're staying at with your "bro" has a see-through glass wall for the bathroom and when you make a whole love confession in the guise of a travel log for your "bro" while your boyfie is waiting for you at home.

in conclusion, i was very insecure.

did i give up? no, not yet. we're getting there.

so as a masochist and out of curiosity caused by insecurity, i searched up jikook videos on yt, thinking "there's no way they could ever have more chemistry than taekook 🙄" - when i tell you i was wrong as fuck, i mean it. i was HUMBLED. the chemistry and tension between jungkook and jimin was undeniable. i felt uncomfortable watching some certain moments, felt things that i didnt feel while shipping taekook, saw things i didnt see in taekook.

i was confused plus the sinking feeling you get when you've been too loud about what you think and your opinions but then it turns out you were a stupid ass bitch.

there was a plethora of jikook vids, and i think my first jikook video was from Made in Busan, ig it was the "serendipity" analysis? back then it made lots of sense to me, but now it looks slightly overanalyzed (i still believe "serendipity" is very much connected to jikook tho). i slowly got more introduced to jikook in general. this mainly occured in like the first week of october and december as i had my boards in november.

december/january-february, 2019

so its been more or less of a year since ive become a tkkr, gcft is still in the back of my head screaming at me. and then jikook drop another bomb. that is, 2018 MMA.

this..was just, just..i cant explain it in words. jungkook had every bit of his attention directed towards jimin, they were giving each other loving glances, jimin giving jungkook a flying kiss, jungkook giving jimin a finger heart, jungkook subconsciously massaging jimins nape..it was just so domestic and coupley. i've never third wheeled so bad in my life. i felt like i was interrupting something by watching them. imagine how hyunjae next to them felt😔✊not to mention how it very much looked like jungkook was saying "남편"[ nampyeon] meaning "husband" and "형의 남친"[ hyung-ui namchin ] meaning " hyung's boyfriend" in their conversation after jimin pointed to himself and jungkook (forgive me if the spellings/romanizations are not accurate enough, im not fully fluent in korean). plus, after jungkook said it, jimin smiles and shyly looks down..LIKE??

watch from 31:00 to see for yourself. im not kidding.(p.s i love this video so much)

i was bamboozled. i was shocked. i was frustrated. i was feeling stupid. i was begging for taekook to drop something mindblowing or sumn that would regain my secuity in the ship and i found some moments during other award shows but, it didnt feel the same. to me it was really looking like taekook had boundaries and limits between each other, the limits that apply when you're good friends. but with jikook, i couldnt see how their gazes towards each other could be passed off as anything platonic, how their actions+body language could ever be seen as platonic.

so what did i do? did i give up? oh hell no im stubborn as fuck. but we're getting there.

i ignored every jikook moment and brought my focus back on taekook, i started watching analysis and moments again. in a span of a few weeks, the security around my ship had improved after pretending that i didnt feel like a stupid mf after MMA 2018. haha. it sorta worked lol. sorta.

march-may, 2019

these were my last months as a taekooker.

after all that shit, all i wanted was more taekook moments to make me feel better about myself. and i did get quite a few. however, as i said before, they looked like they had boundaries. i couldnt look at them exactly the same.

i was busy in april with my class tests, i doubt i had much time to catch up with the boys. so when the tests ended, it was most likely in the last week of april or the first few days of may.

we all know what happened in the first few days of may, don't we? in case you don't, this is what happened.

surprisingly, i clearly remember the first time i got to know about it.

it was in class, i just arrived and then one of my friends and i start talking and she goes [this convo is all translated from bengali]

"hey did you see what jungkook did at the latest concert?"

"no, i didn’t, what did he do?"

"he went and literally sucked on jimins ear!"

i was shocked once again, my eyes went wide, my heart did a backflip..all that shit. i didnt believe it at first.

"don't joke around like that, you're being absurd" i said.

"im not kidding bro, he sucked jimins ear in the rosebowl concert last week, ill send you a link too"

when i got back home, sure enough, the link was there and i saw jungkooks ear nibbling in all its glory, albeit a bit low quality. but no doubt he took that ear into his mouth and i knew it.

surely i must've given up now? no, but im this🤏 close we're almost there i promise

i went online and found lots of tkkrs denying that jungkook ever took jimin's ear into his mouth and that jimin's ear only got caught on jk's chin. but..if it got caught on jk's chin then that means his chin was behind jimin's ear, and his lips must have been at least kissing jimin's ear, given that we couldnt see them very well. the lip we could see was the upper lip, which again lead me to be believe that jungkook did indeed, suck jimin's ear.

yeah, my faith in tkk was crumbling into millions of pieces. because i couldnt see how jungkook, being in a supposed relationship with taehyung, could do that with tae's best friend. i sure as hell wouldnt let my partner get away with that, nor would i ever do that myself with someone else other than my partner. even if its to comfort them. it just goes way over platonic boundaries.

i was seriously considering shifting over to jikook by now. but before that, i searched lots of shit up abt jikook.

there i saw an interview where jimin talked about the tokyo trip with jungkook. what i believed until now was that vminkook were supposed to go tgthr but jikook were the ones with time off, and tae didnt have time off. jimin said he told taehyung and jungkook that he wants to go on a trip to Japan. he didnt say he wanted to go on a trip WITH taehyung and jungkook. yall, ive told my wishes to go to japan and turkey multiple times to my friends, does that mean im taking their asses with me? no. mind you, jimin has said he wanted to go on a trip alone with jungkook multiple times in their rookie era. on jimin's bday of 2017, jungkook tweeted a pic of him(jimin) with the caption "Its not over yet.." and shortly after, we find out jikook went on a tokyo trip by THEMSELVES with no staff, no managers and no other members. dropped off at the airport by jungkook's dad and brother and jimin's dad. jungkook paid for everything and put a hell lot of time into making the masterpiece that is gcf in tokyo WITH a bgm of a gay fucking song by a queer fucking artist and showed the fucking rainbow colored ferris wheel at the line "love is a road that goes both ways".

also

its clear who the main model of gcf is.

you can deny the trip being only for jikook, but you can not deny the symbolism and significance shown in gcf in tokyo. saying "jungkook didnt understand the song, hes not fluent in english" - is so small minded and belittling.

saying he didnt show jimin on the parts "boy, im holding onto something, wont let go of you for nothing, im running, running just to keep my hands on you" on purpose is not only straight up denial but also understimating jungkook's intelligence and artistic capabilities, saying that jungkook isnt smart enough to get the meaning behind these words. and just because hes korean. thats fucking racist if you ask me.

then i discovered the iconic osaka vlives, i was convinced. it was my last straw along with rosebowl.

alas, after around a week of denial, i gave up and became a jikooker in mid may of 2019. ive never looked back. over the years they've only given us more and more evidence and i doubt my beliefs will ever change soon.

i hope this was kinda fun to read, i had been planning to do this for a long time. im glad i finally got to say my thoughts out here. thank you for taking the time to read this<3

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello, I saw that this account can write for creepypastas so can I please have some headcanons for characters such as Laughing Jack, Eyeless jack and slenderman (and maybe Jason the toymaker) with a S/O who often holds their emotions and anger in and gets easily annoyed and frustrated but they dislike telling them the problem (like out of fear of being humiliated or lack of trust)

Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack and Slenderman x reader who bottles up emotions but becomes irritable!

not at all confident in my writing for jason since i never really got into him </3 hope thats okay !! runs around ehehehehehe another creepypasta request (chews) AND its with my favorites unrelated to this post but ik i said i was gonna get on that grind but admin hasnt ate yet today and he hungers for sammy so me thinks im going to knock out this request then take a quick break then come back!!

LAUGHING JACK:

honestly as much as i love this clown, hes a clown at the end of the day. he doesnt take many things seriously, and when he does hes still giggling and treating it lightly. so arguably, between these three he might be the worst.. unless having this goofy fuck trying relentlessly to get a smile on your face is helpful to you, at least in the short-term.. he DOES notice that youre tense and upset, but hes more likely to try to cheer you up or get you to laugh or smile instead of actually asking whats wrong with you. though, if youre crying.. i think thats where hed drop everything and ask if theres something going on. its that little caretaker bit in him thats still lingering from before he got all twisted, you know?

does not have much to say or any solutions, but he does offer to hold you while you cry or yell, hell he would even let you hit him around if it makes you feel better; though hes a little touched that the offer gives you pause.. clown physics be damned, you dont want to do that. crying/yelling into his chest it is then.. hes pretty soft and warm, i think.. might even start purring to try to soothe you during the tail end of your whole thing.. i know i just said that he doesnt have much to say but i think theres like. a tiny chance he would drop the most profound and effective reassurance.. so you know what maybe hes not the WORST, its just getting him to stop being silly can be a little tough...

dont snap at him, hes either going to keep riling you up or hes going to legitimately get angry, theres no in-between and it depends on the day and jack doesnt have the sense or thought to step away to let you guys cool down

EYELESS JACK:

doing ej first, but i think between the three hes the worst with you. not because he cant relate to you or that he doesnt care about you; but out of... him not being able to understand. which is a little funny since a lot of my hcs for him and his whole deal has to deal with suppressing himself but i think emotions and eating flesh are two different things. shrugs... every blunt with just telling you to talk to him, which can sometimes come off as cold and uninterested but rest assured thats not really his intention. he DOES care about you, but hes not exactly the softest person in this situation... rare that hes around when youre out and about doing things, given hes a hermit and is very careful about not getting seen... but when you do come to visit and he notices something is up with you he does ask if you need to talk. will snap back if youre being short with him, though, so both of you guys are going to need to take a few minutes before continuing the conversation to try to find a solution... if one can be found; he studied to be a doctor, not a therapist

though... i think overtime he would pick up on cues and things that make you untense just a tiny bit, and i just know he would utilize it. massages? hes already working the tension in your shoulders down. favorite food? sure hes not the best cook and he might have to go raid your pantry if hes visiting, but hes going to try his best to make you some food! just want to sit in the quiet? jacks already a pretty quiet guy, not too chatty, so youre set there already... wanna talk? he will listen, but a lot of his advice and solutions are more logical and straight forward rather than emotionally driven..

SLENDERMAN:

oh you dont think he would notice that you bottle your feelings up and shove them down? get real, he may not be the best with reading humans and understanding them but hes not clueless with your feelings. but do i think he would ask you to talk and open up? its hard to say... because on one hand i love the idea of slenderman just minding his own business, but i also enjoy the fatherly energy the old fandom have assigned him to... and finding a middle ground here is a little... hard... shrugs. he does take you away from situations that have you stressing out very quickly, though.. if youre alone? its as easy as just taking you and dipping.. but if youre around people (with slenderman standing off to the side out of sight, of course) hes going to wait until everyone is looking away. side note but to others it has definitely looked like you disappeared when a bus passed LMAO

rather than straight up asking you whats wrong and trying to coax you into speaking, i think he would give you journals so you can get your emotions out in some way... but if you want to talk to him, hes not going to stop you. centuries of living but not interacting much with others does offer some interesting advice, typically in the form of self care and meditation rather than trying to express your discomforts to others before they have the chance to stomp all over you... shrugs.. but if youre being irritable around him, similar to ej i think hes going to have to detach for a moment to avoid any conflict, though i dont think he would snap back at you unless you do something that REALLY gets under his skin.. buuuuut simple snark isnt going to do shit

[eahmybeloved]

idk if this makes sense but d/rrabella, especially with how it was done in epic winter, feels very forced,,,both with the ship and darings character as a whole

like, in dragon games, when daring realized he wasnt apples prince, he was genuienly distressed bc he didnt know what to do w his life afterwards, everyone was telling him he was her prince, so thats what he dedicated his life to

So, in epic winter, when the writers turn around and are like "whoops! nvm, ur rossabellas prince :)" which just,,,really? It couldve been SUCH an intresting world building opportunity if they kept darings destiny secret/ambigous, both to let people make their own theories and to give him room to grow

Like, we have characters who know what their destinies are and dislike/hate them (Raven and Briar to give an example), characters who know and actively want them (like apple and maddie), so having daring as a character who thought he knew and wanted it, only to be told otherwise? that wouldve been awesome !!! Darings self worth hinges on it, it wouldve been so intresting to see darings journey to figuring out who he is beyond that yk

and !! he still couldve gotten a destiny after that, after he acknowledged that hes more than his destiny and it isnt life or death to not have one (does that make sense ?? hopefully it does), like this may be bc ive been seein more dizzie content, but it wouldve been neat if daring was the future king of hearts

even if he wasnt, it could still go both ways, daring could learn that the destiny he thpught he had wasnt his at all and learn to grow and heal from that (bc it for sure wouldve affected him mentally) and then AFTER he gets his arc about that then he could learn what his destiny really is, or he doesnt, and both outcomes are ok

but now that thats out of the way, daring was also just very ooc during epic winter? like,,,sure, he can be arrogant at times, but he isnt that selfish? he dances with farrah so she can feel like the princesses she helps, keeps lizzies soft side a secret bc she wanted to protect her reputation, even at the cost of being publically humilated by sparrow, thats not something a selfidh person would do

but yeah, i might rb this later with more thoughts, but these are what i have rn

im open to discussion tho so feel free to add on n all that stuff :)) i made this account to better interact w eah tumblr after all

but yeah !!

[aequlinks]

genshin x reader smaus i recommend <3

i think it’s about time i did this in case anyone asked me about smaus i am interested in or if you are looking for something to read:] i will be listing their titles, summary, and what i like! these are just the ones i’ve seen (or remembered).

good 4 u by @ilkuni — a xiao smau

lesson learned! never challenge hu tao when you’re drunk bc you’ll just lose and now you have to post a thread of all your exes as songs from olivia rodrigo’s hit debut album sour … or: “yn desperate much!” “yn still loves xiao? yikes! doesnt he already have someone new?” “stop ruining my relationship u bitch!”

i’m sure we all know this one by now HAHA rosie is one of the genshin smau writers i have seen that’s been here as long as me by now

i actually was really interested in this one because it was an exes to lovers, and you all know how it’s one of my favorite tropes hehe

it was very interesting because there was foreshadowing here and there and the plot kept progressing without being confusing

10 things i hate about you by @x-xxiaos — a xiao smau

after breaking up with his since-high school-girlfriend, xiao made a long list of things he should and hated her for, so he won’t fall for her again in case name tries to enter his life once again. for five long years, xiao did a great job at keeping name off of his mind, but what would he do if she suddenly shows up at his door, asking him to work with her?

i’ve actually never watched our beloved summer where this is based off of, i first thought it was the movie because i remember there was one like that

this is also an exes to lover so i really loved it HAHAHA eyn update when /lh

i like how xiao kept deflecting it and yn kept going but this is for my job i don’t like you anymore, the dynamic was fun

i think he knows by @daixuki — a xiao smau

you’ve liked him since the first time you saw him perform in your school’s battle of the bands. so you do what any normal girl with a crush does: send him cheesy pick-up lines through a dummy account. he never replies. until now.

funny how angel told me she wanted to write a smau bc of me and my anons and now she’s writing one t_t so YAY

this is the first one here that’s not an exes to lovers but a my friend likes you but you don’t know so i’m going to help her secretly

it also gives space for angst because dayum what if xiao is conflicted i love it

someone you like by @rrinsluvr — a xiao smau

even after two years, she still hasn’t moved on. all hope was lost until he sent her a text.

this one is during the pandemic so it makes sense why it’s a smau right HAHA unlike mine where they literally meet each other and still text t__t nothing i just found it adorable that way

the way there’s a kazuha leading man vibes here too makes me ueue because i love kaed

i think xiao is on point here or it’s just me but i really love the way he’s portrayed here

still have my heart by @luvinelysia — a kazuha smau

IN WHICH, kazuha’s friend gets into a fight with one of your friends OR IN WHICH, two exes meet due to being involved in a fight with their friends

right off the bat, yessss bc i have a cameo HAHA but my title won for this so you guys should check this out because there’s conflict here OH and this is an exes to lovers

also ely shows us salty kazuha here so if you like that then feel free to read this one because i actually like salty kaed

and that there’s a side of a xiao x reader here so <3 ok i forgot this was a kazuha smau ely really needs to make xiao stop flirting with me

21 days by @v3nicee — a childe smau

after being busy with their priorities, ajax and [y/n]’s relationship went downhill. 4 years after that incident happened their path crossed again, and now ajax pleaded for 21 days to win her back.

exes to lovers world domination because this is an exes to lovers smau HAHAHA one of the best tropes i swear

i like how childe is portrayed in this one and that he actually makes time for yn instead of being an ass and not trying to win her back

oh and the whole aether as the second lead part makes me cry because i am weak i love my twins yall i hope that we don’t keep friendzoning him..

lowkey by @ilkuni — an ayato smau

it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

when rosie dropped this i was excited because i have never seen anyone attempting to make an ayato smau, partially me as well with a long fic because i’m not sure i’ll be able to play him out

the plot sounded good because i love those lowkey secret relationships IN FICS not irl i can’t do that sorry i’m loud irl i’d blabber my mouth

not the way i was caught in a chokehold with the recent updates of chapters 20 and beyond because of the arranged marriage

raised the bar by @skaramush — a scaramouche smau

yn thought she finally escaped the perpetual doom of placing 2nd after she graduated high school. but alas! the leaderboard has her name printed under another’s! a name she thought she’d never get to see again. better luck next time, i guess.

i haven't actually caught up with the updates in a while but i like the academic rivals to lovers trope

one of the lines i liked was when kuni found out yn was studying for a long time?

i alike that kuni isn't too offputting or too mean which many portray him to be as

f#cking bastard by @scarahours — a scramouche smau

getting off wasted at a party wouldn’t hurt right? that’s what college life is for - you study, eat, sleep and repeat. probably do something batshit once or twice. but who would ever know, it wouldn’t hurt right? so why do you suddenly find the social reject’s lips pressed against yours?

i don't think i've caught up with this one in a while but i like that diluc is portrayed as the ex because i haven't seen that yet

i like that the plot is unpredictable because i really didn't expect kuni knows yn

oh i also like that even if diluc chased after yn, she didn't agree HAHA

i think that's really all there is to this post! i might add in a few more smaus should i ever find some more:]

[metalyre]

worst popular infinite headcanon?

oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha

anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO

i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish

in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite

(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")

and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now

(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")

again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others

ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game

the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha

it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon

and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again

idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?

so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain

also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Always sunny anon replying: funny you mentioned Bojack being I believe Viv has said in the past on her twitter that she wants HB to be the next BH yet seems to not understand what makes a show like Bojack work to begin with. (I'll admit I haven't watched Bojack Horseman yet. I've been sleeping on it way to long tbh).

Yeah absolutely. Viv doesnt seem to get that bojack worked in not only in its ability to make people like bojack while not excusing his actions, but also how its structured as 'comedy turned drama'.

(major spoilers for bojack horseman btw, you can just skip to the end/the last paragraph of this post)

Now in bojack's first season, it was a comedy pretty early and stayed that way till later down the season and it continued to grow naturally to a drama (though the comedy is still there of course). Helluva boss though, seems to be all over the place as just after episode 1, episode 2 takes a more serious/dramatic approach when the show is meant to appear at first to be a dark humoured comedy, along with most of the season not even sticking to its original premise, instead focusing more of set ups and stolitz drama that both didnt go much of anywhere (striker might be an exception though i feel like the end with him could be another set up). What wouldve worked is that episode 1 - 4 is entirely on the original premise for helluva boss and the rest would be more serious (with strikers introduction, the agents and stolitz drama) with season 2 continuing the more serious approach. Hell, if their gonna include stolas family drama, why not portray it as comedy at first, then use it later on to portray it more seriously. Like in season 1 of bojack where he and sarah lynn slept with each other, its being treated as comedic. But when he revealed that he slept with her in the interview, its being treated completely seriously and use it to highlight bojacks problem from him with young women and his issues with accountability, episode 2 could portray the cheating as comedic (with stella throwing objects while rambling while stolas dodges them like a dodgeball game with octavia initially being presented as the typical 'lonely stuck in the mud teenager' but we still get hints of her being more than that later down the episode) and while it ends on them leaving the festival in an awkward comedic way, that would used in seeing stars where octavia vents about her family drama, including on how neglectful stolas has become as a father from the festival incident. Im kinda surprised viv didnt consider to use it because it would be a perfect tool for helluva boss to use.

Another reason why bojack worked compared to helluva boss is its characters. While bojack was written well, the rest of the characters (especially women) shine through and we get to see more of who they are overtime. We dont really get much on that with helluva (especially the women), sure we get their backstories though we dont really have much depth if that make sense. Like when we compare todd to moxxie, todd's deal is that he's extremely helpful and he actually have stuff going on for him, its only bojack thats holding him back so when he finally distance himself from bojack, not only is it consistent but its also not repetitive, instead we get to know more about todd, seeing his relationships, discovering his asexuality etc...hell, he even has his own episode where he learn to make time for himself too instead of always helping out everyone. Moxxie has an arc of overcoming his weakness but the thing is, it repeats the same arc that it can get tiring to watch. What would work for him is that he slowly develops him overcoming his weakness instead of it just being repeated (like maybe further snapping at blitzo or confess that he considers quitting) Its a real shame too because him being close to morally good than morally grey or bad (which i predict thats what most of hells beings would be) opens a gate to a lot of possibilities for him as a character like why he took the job, how he met his wife, how he views the world around him etc...but they clearly didnt know what to do with him especially when season 1 wasnt even properly planned (as viv literally admits this on twitter too) so its why he as a character feels stagnant. But a bigger comparison however, has to be the women in the shows. People tend to praise the show for how it writes its women characters, often from diane and princess caroline. They're shown to be as messy and complex as men like bojack in the show though other women characters had their time to shine like hollyhock, kelley, gina, penny, bojack's mother etc...Its clear that bojack writes both men and women well in the show. Helluva boss on the other hand, is quite unbalanced in its writing for men and women. Specifically with the men having more variety and generall knowledge about them than the women. Like millie and loona, despite being major characters, have very little depth especially with millie who wouldnt even be a character if we remove her from moxxie. And even with the other women characters, they dont have much depth either (or at last we dont get to see that depth often like with verosika), they all in some way are in the roles for men characters (octavia and loona being there to establish the good in stolas and blitzo or stella and verosika being there to establish to either be the villain or to show a part of the man's past) Its very clear that viv favours men characters than women as alastor and angel dust having more going on than charlie, the main character herself. I mean, both shows are technically character driven and to be character driven, your gonna have to make sure your characters can equally shine on their own instead of one having more depth than the other.

To put it shortly, i dont think viv really gets why bojack was successful to audiences to begin with and in turn, failed to achieve that success with it being how she structures her show for the 'comedy turned drama' style being all over the place when bojacks was of natural progress and her imbalanced/poorly planned writing of men and women characters where it wasn't an issue in BoJack

[amozon28]

something im really enjoying about the events happening in the latest chapters is that because Twilight isnt able to get involved because he isnt being informed and hes a full city away. is that in the aftermath hes going to be confronted with his two ideologies clashing. because yes, hes a spy that prioritizes getting the mission done for the greater good, his greater good being creating a world were kids wont have to cry alone like he did. in this stance his and WISE goals align. however he also cares about children on the micro level. he cares about the safety and well being of each kid he comes across. and this comes into direct conflict with WISE, who are willing to disregard the safety of kids if it doesnt help aide them in their greater plans of peace

Here WISE not caring about a busload of kids. saying that the police can handle this. and this is something Twilight himself tried (and ultimately failed to do) to prioritize his mission over the safety of one child when Anya was kidnapped in the beginning of the story.

Had it not been for the fact that Anya and Damian were on that bus, which jeopardized Operation Strix, WISE would have left it to the police. which isnt a bad thing its just where WISE and Twilight's desires dont always agree.

So when Twilight finally does learn about what happened with the bus and Anya hes going to be DEVASTATED. because as Twilight he was useless, being on a different mission, and a Wise agent he was useless, by not having a buss full of kids be on WISE radar. Hes Westalias GREATEST spy and he couldnt protect his little girl when she needs him most. thats going to HURT him, especially a man who tries to control and account for every possible outcome and blames himself for every failing.

however where hes going to fail as a Spy i feel like hes going to be reminded that being a spy isnt the only way to protect and make Anya feel safe.

Twilights mother wasnt a soldier or combat vet or spy or anyone of note. she wasnt someone who could physically protect twilight from the bombs raining down on them every night. yet as a child he felt SAFE with his mother because he inspired that feeling in him just by being there for him. sure it was a false sense of security, but as a child thats all he needed. and its still true to him years later as an adult when he cant even remember his mothers face, he still remembers how safe she made him feel in those scary moments.

and i think post this arc Twilight is going to be reminded how important this kind of strength will be for Anya. because while he couldnt protect her from the terrorists, or the bombs or the SSS police, he can hold her and comfort her and tell her “everything is going to be ok” as she falls alseep.

honestly i wouldnt be surprised if this arc ended with Anya asking if she can sleep is Papa’s bed with him because she doesnt want to sleep alone. and Twilight letting her, remembering how it made him feel as a child, and allowing Anya into his room, being another metaphor for slowly letting his walls.down.

because sure he failed to protect Anya as the spy Twilght, but he will succeed to protect her as her father Loid. because “Thats the sort of strength that will finish the job”

[nahalism]

Did you ever experience some kind of…almost debilitating anxiety? I’m talking of months or + gnawed and exhausted by fear and both mental and physical sensations that come with it. How did/do you move through it

luv

a long one in advance but lol yh bare times. ill answer ur question, but there's two sides to the route i took and i have 2 preface with everything i did and do is based off of what i feel is right for me at the time. it doesnt mean its right though, and im very aware of that, so ill share some parts, but ultimately each person has is their own experience. the first step to moving through something, is looking for answers so like.. deeper than whatever i have to say, the answer is not in my answer, its in the fact u want answers

anyway. throwback to 6 ish years ago, i was having a breakdown breakthru and i started viewing what i called anxiety, as hyper vigilance. i started to see i was using a way of perceiving reality, along with my ability for analysis, to create correlations between my present, based on my perception of the past, to determine/predict the future (both futile and fallible), not cause i wanted to know what was going to happen, but because i thought keeping account of all possible outcomes gave me control and control would keep me safe and stop me experiencing a version of life i didnt want to go back to (more specifically it stopped me feeling helpless & inconsequential). as i understood that, along with the traumas at the root of my hyper vigilance, and the anxiety (social and general cause they r v separate), i recognised that i wanted control because i wasn't confident i could take charge or respond to reality without immense preparation. on top of that, i was resisting the fact that i was anxious because i was calling the symptoms i was experiencing my anxiety, but the real anxiety was the way i thought, and i was actually addicted to thinking in that way, because even though i hated it, and what it did to my body/nervous system, it was protecting my ego by giving me a false sense of control.

so that was my first step. i began to take action from where i was, as i was. that meant listening to what made me anxious. for example, if a place or person made me anxious, i didnt interact or go. i validated myself and what i was feeling. & i dont mean that in an avoidant sense, ill say why in a second. but yeah i validated what i was feeling, and began to see that the more i gave myself permission to be who i was, and do what i wanted unapologetically, the less direct anxiety id experience. and that sounds like an easy decision to have made in hindsight but usually, the change a persons anxious to make is something that in the moment requires a huge leap of faith but seems inevitable in hindsight. anyway, that's when i really realised that i was anxious because i was living an inauthentic life based on premeditation rather than presence. i had/have concurrent ptsd, so there were a lot of emotions i hadn't felt in a long time without realising, like passion or genuine laughter, happiness, joy, peace. id literally forgotten anything but this autopilot need to protect myself, be there for the people that had been there for me and stay alive. in giving myself permission to be different from who i had been, i started to see the world free from what my past dictated it should be and everything started to open up as as a consequence. side note, id been studying metaphysics and philosophy since 6 form, and i can't underestimate how much the principles i learned there helped me transmute my situation. ive recommended all those books in here before, so u can find them, but yeah . it sounds pretty and idyllic and as essy as 'changing my mind' but it was fucking brutal. i transformed in every sense of the word i lost almost everything in the process. there were wins along the way but 90% of them were silver linings of my own deciding. however, nothing i lost needed to stay! and everything i chose to go through or was subjected to led me to understand me and opened options as to how i could cultivate a beautiful and real inner life that eventually began to bleed out into the 'real' world.

the dark side of that, which is how i reached most of those revelations and insights, is the experiential bit that i can't communicate. i literally put myself through hell, and i can type till my fingers fall of and still never convey the full picture of how what why when, but yh. when i said i listened to my anxiety, i meant that literally. as i said before, i didnt allow myself to be avoidant. so if there was a reason i didnt want to do something, i honoured it, but lets say the only obstacle to me doing something was my anxiety, id force myself to do it, to the point of masochism. literally, i was obsessed. day in day out i was reading on self improvement, i studied every religion, researched philosophers, listened to hour long lectures on youtube, i did everything i could do to understand myself, my mind, life, and how to reprogram what i was experiencing. at the same time as this i used to myself in situations that would trigger panic attacks, or dissociative episodes and find ways to 'function' through it. one that worked very well was smoking weed, sometimes alone, sometimes in bad company. weed gave me severe panic attacks at the time, so when i was on my own, id smoke to induce panic attacks so i could meditate, breathe, draw, write, literally do whatever helped to bring myself through the panic attack. then when i felt capable with that, id smoke in bad company and practice with the pressure of being in front of people and there would be times id b having full blown panic attacks in front of people, sometimes with, but usually without them knowing and the whole time was just training myself to understand or pay attention to my mental patterns, training myself to calm myself down, to reach a zone where i could see through what was triggering me, or at the very least just firm it. and the more i did that, the more i understood why i was dissociating, or collapsing, or having chest pains, hyperventilating all that shit. the more i understood, the more i reeeaaally understood, and then i got to a point where even though the trigger is there lol, it still exists, but when it gets pulled i can hold the explosion. because i feel it happening, i see it happening, but it happens to something within me and not to me now? and so i kind of watch it and love and appreciate it for what learning to temper it taught me. its like a familiar old friend has its quirks that i wouldn't change for the world and yh idk im just rambling i need to go to bed. but basically i stopped being debilitated by anxiety by living in complete debilitation of it until it couldn't debilitate me any more. id be lying if i didnt say it drove me to very dark, lonely, appearance of being semi crazy states of being, but it was worth it and still is.

without the period of isolation the second half of what i described put me through, i couldnt have found realignment cause i wouldnt have seen how incorrect my projection of my past onto the future was, or how to correct it. & deep it, if all u know is death misery lack poverty shortage economic & social insecurity, then all u can see for the future is that. once u open ur eyes and see urself and the world for what is u can start playing. it wasnt easy, and im still not over being anxious. but its not debilitating, just an uneasy emotion. & the way i see it at this point, its just my inner system seeing something what my eyes dont & making me aware. when i listen im redirected, and can find alignment. when i dont it gets worse, and the only way out is to be numb. but i wanna live and i cant live numb. hope i answered, love <3

[opal-owl-flight]

Okay, I read the new dialogue in EX mode (120 spheres) and (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

Tldr, this feels very shoehorned in.

Not only does it upheave so much lore, it also just...doesnt make sense? Mags' dream of building a grand theme park AND him thirsting for galactic control doesnt add up -- Esp when taking the old lines into account (where he seems almost ANTSY to get his grubby paws on the Crown. Hell, hes willing to fight Landia, and then sacrifice his new friends when he failed.)

He says hes willing to work hard for this supposed dream of his, so where does his desire for more power fit into the picture? It'd make sense if he believes that the Crown would help him make this dream come true, but no. He SPECIFICALLY says "rule the universe". What do theme parks and ruling the universe have to do with each other?

If his dream was to build theme parks from the START, and it wasnt born from his desire to make Kirby his friend again, why the hell did he go through ALL THE TROUBLE to acquire the Crown?

Which, by the way, he STATES would make one rule the universe? (Not to mention his whole monologue explaining that this was his plan all along, and the universe will bow to him.)

Unless the amusement park lines were a big LIE to get Kirby's trust again after he slipped up and said some very sus things, I dont see how it all adds up. Its very confusing...

[favoringeyes]

ok so hopefully quick saeru thread on why trying to empathize with him actually undermines his role as a character (im making this because im very passionate abt kagepro's overall narrative and it's themes, and saeru is a core part of that as the villain) this was originally on twitter and is very long so im putting it under the read more lol

to start off, all of azami's snakes were created from some sort of trauma or surivial instinct. despite his sentience saeru is STILL one of those snakes. his feelings are technically fabricated from azami's desire to find herself and later on her fear of change. the reason i believe he is sentient is the fact he was born from such a complicated wish, so he was created with the necessary complicity in order to carry out said wish for azami. and factors like other people, weren't taken into account for his creation. so the sentience wasn't an issue for the hundreds of years azami would be alone. it only became an issue when she met tsukihiko and started a family. this was an unexpected turnout on saeru's part, because the world azami created was one created from isolation and despair. saeru doesn't have the capacity to understand love or kindness because he wasn't born from it. (this is why the idea of him caring for kenjirou doesnt make sense either but thts a whole other can of worms). what he has for azami isnt love, it's devotion. such severe devotion that he is willing to do things that only hurt her just because it's what he believes is right for her. he has to keep living bc she needs him to survive. so now that we've kind of established saeru's character we can move on to his role in the narrative... kagepro obviously revolves around the idea of repeating time, or timeloops. from a simple story perspective it's because of saeru, he pushes marry to the brink of despair, causing her to rewind time in order to be with her friends again. going a bit deeper in manga route 2, we find out his real motivation is to keep living in order to grant azami's wish to find her true self. so lets go back to the idea saeru is only created from azami's loneliness, or her crushing isolation of simply existing, and combine it with the idea that SAERU is the one causing the world to repeat. that saeru hates the idea that azami could find happiness in others. that saeru believes azami cannot be happy in a world created in her image. that saeru causes so much suffering he recreates a medusa in marry, and he feasts off of that despair. what does this mean? thematically saeru is supposed to represent the idea of resisting change, resisting it through constantly forcing oneself to relive traumatizing and hurtful moments in life out of a belief that this is what it always should be. from the comfort in despair. so lets take that and apply it to a different character, the protagonist, shintaro. specially route x shintaro. in route x shintaro refuses to forget ayano, replaying moments in his head over and over and over where he shouldve reached out, shouldve done better. he ignores ene, someone who cares for him and wants to help him, because he believes that by completely indulging himself in his despair and regret over ayano, she will continue to live on in his mind. so, what is that similar to? it almost directly parallels to saeru's idea of causing despair in order to feed off of it to survive. but, there is something that separates saeru from route x shintaro. the fact that shintaro can understand love. when he deletes ene, he almost immediately regrets it. and is horrified by what he's done. he's so horrified that he literally ends his own life, essentially ending ayano's memory. this is the exact opposite of what saeru wants. saeru is desperate to keep living. to keep the despair, bc it's all he is. without it he's nothing. without it, azami is nothing. if saeru was meant to be empathized with, then it would encourage literally every bad thing to happen in kagepro's story. bc he is a representation of that, and can almost parallel to every character with it. kano's painful emotional stagnation, the unhealthy devotion seto has to marry resulting in neglect of his loved ones, kido's belief that she was born

essentially broken, etc. all of these r themes that show in saeru's character. the character that brutally kills the mekakushi dan over and over, seeing their lives as little more then warped reflections of his master. he views it as a game, he finds joy in tragedy. he mocks marry for finding love just like azami had, he mocks her for trying to change the repeating story he had written. he's a hypocrite, because just as marry tries to gain autonomy so is he. so basically, he is portrayed as pure evil because he is the resistance to finding happiness through others despite pain and trauma, and the entire point of kagepro is learning to love the world despite all of the horrible things in it because at least one person can still love another. that the time spent with others can be some of the most precious things in a lifetime, that even when those times pass, those feelings never leave. saeru is a subversion of this, basically screaming in the readers face that "good feelings are temporary and bad ones last forever". he is a direct antithesis to the narrative marry attempts to create as the new medusa, not a a story created from the despair of loneliness, but one from love and care. if saeru was ever meant to be empathized with, then it undermines the themes of summer time record completely. saeru is supposed to be a complete monster, and interpreting otherwise warps the themes jin is trying to portray in the first place.