#and by doing this harry doesn't get asked about it explicitly (maybe he has them banned idk) and still gets to do whatever he wants however

[finexbright]

.

[allthelovehes]

Make You Mine* | TEASER

Summary: Harry and Y/N are FWB but when Y/N has plans with another man Harry gets extremely jealous.

Pairing: FWB!Harry x reader

Word count: 1.2K TEASER of a 5.2K Patreon Exclusive!

Warnings: Smut, sir kink, cum eating, just really hot ok.

Taglist: @justmystyles @bitchybabyharry @harrysslut7 @swiftmendeshoran @lucasandharold @harrysbabycherry @htaylor18 @rose-garden-dreamz @myalovesharry @mellamolayla @hsonlyangelxo @yousunshineyoutempter @heartateasee @blueheisenbergtragedy Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! 🤗

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Ever since Y/N started this friends-with-benefits type of situation with her best friend Harry, they have been doing their best to keep their emotions in check. It's the same old story; it's fun and exciting, and then one or both of them ends up getting attached. They both know the deal, but it's too tempting to be together, and the sex is just so good.

They never agreed upon being exclusive but they also never explicitly told each other that they shouldn't have any other sexual partners. So now that Harry is busy working in the studio and therefore working most days of the week, he's starting to wonder if there's a chance Y/N might be seeing someone else.

He isn't stupid, he knows she has needs too, and he's sure she can find someone to take care of her whenever she needs it. The thought of her with someone else however is not a pleasant one. He isn't the jealous type, really, he's not. But still, the thought of her being with someone else makes him feel... strange.

He knows this isn't right, he's just being unreasonable. After all, they have never been officially exclusive, and she's allowed to fuck whoever she wants.

Harry's suspicions are confirmed when he texts Y/N to see if she's home tonight, he's desperate for some attention and hers is the only body he wants wrapped around him right now. He's met with an answer that is not quite what he's hoping for, and it makes him feel like he's just swallowed a bucket of cold water.

Y/N Can't tonight, I've got plans.

Plans. So it is another man then. She has plans with someone, and the worst part is, she didn't even tell him. She's never done that before, always kept him in the loop. Harry's chest tightens and his stomach starts to do flips. It's not jealousy, he tells himself, but it sure as hell feels like it. He doesn't even know for sure, how the hell can he be so upset?

Harry Plans huh? What's up?

He's trying his best to sound casual, but he's pretty sure he's failing. He's waiting for a text back, maybe she'll tell him. He doesn't have to wait long for an answer, which makes his heart sink even more.

Y/N I don't know if I should tell you

Shit. She's really going to make him ask then. He takes a deep breath and decides to bite the bullet.

Harry Is it a date then?

A little over a minute passes and his phone vibrates.

Y/N Depends

Harry On what?

Y/N On you

Harry swallows, his heart beating in his throat. He's not sure how to answer, his emotions are running wild, and he's starting to feel angry. She's got the answers he's desperate for, and she won't just give them to him. He feels the rage boil inside him and he just wants to go out there and confront her.

Harry Tell me Y/N

Y/N You'll either like it or not

Harry You know I'm not good at guessing games. Just tell me

Y/N Okay, fine It's not a date, but it is with a man

Harry And what does that have to do with me?

His hands are shaking, his heart is beating like crazy, and yet his stomach feels like it's somehow filled with butterflies. He can't believe he's having this conversation, but he really should have seen this coming.

Y/N I don't know. I mean, do I tell you about every single guy I see?

He feels his throat tighten, and his voice falters when he tries to form words.

Harry So you've slept with him

He knows that's not the kind of answer she's looking for, but he can't help it. He's too caught up in his own emotions and thoughts, and he's suddenly desperate to hear the words come from her own mouth.

Y/N No

Harry But you're going to

She's not stupid, she must be able to tell what he's thinking. He's not going to play this game with her, he wants an answer.

Harry Y/N?

A few seconds pass in silence, and Harry's heart rate rises.

Y/N Maybe

The air feels as though it's leaving his body, and he has to steady himself against the kitchen counter. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath.

Harry Oh okay

He can't bring himself to tell her to have fun. Instead, he just closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. He's feeling so many things, so many conflicting emotions, and he just doesn't know how to process them. He's trying his best to keep it together, but his insides feel like they're going to burst.

After a moment of silence, he opens his eyes again.

Y/N Why?

His head is spinning. He wants to go and tell her he doesn't want her to have sex with anyone but him, but he knows he can't do that. The thought of her having sex with someone else is driving him insane, but he also doesn't want her to think that he owns her. He doesn't know what to do.

Harry I don't know

He doesn't want to tell her about his feelings, it would make everything so much worse. He doesn't know if he can trust her enough to tell her the truth. After all, what if she tells him that she doesn't want to see him anymore, and they stop being friends? He knew starting this thing would lead to heartache, he just didn't think it would be on his side.

He decides not to tell her anything, and he locks his phone and sets it back on the counter. He heads to his room, but the anger and frustration inside him is just too much to be able to relax. He needs to let it out, somehow. He doesn't know how to deal with this.

He picks up his phone and starts typing out a text, but he erases it before he can send it. He can't tell her, he's just not ready. He's scared, and he doesn't want to lose her. He starts typing another message, but again he doesn't send it. He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know how to handle this.

He paces back and forth through his kitchen before making a decision. He picks up his keys and phone and walks out the door. He knows exactly where he's heading, and he can't wait to see her.

He drives there as fast as he can, and when he finally gets to her apartment, he doesn't even bother knocking on her door, he just uses the key she gave him and lets himself in. The lights are on, and she's standing in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hand.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Her voice is calm, but Harry can see her hands shake ever so slightly, and her eyes are wide as she looks at him. He's probably the last person she was expecting to show up here.

“I came to see you.” He says, his voice wavering as he tries to catch his breath.

“I can see that, but why?”

He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her, pulling her close and pressing his lips against hers. His hands find their way into her hair, and he presses her against the kitchen counter, his tongue pushing its way past her lips.

[ecoamerica]

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The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[sydmarch]

for a couple days i've been wanting to post about the coin operated viewers & my thoughts there but kept getting distracted by other writing until earlier today @frogean asked me about my thoughts on the fishing village wrt; why would evrart gentrify a village full of people who can't afford to live elsewhere when he seems to genuinely care about martinaise, is the thing with the signatures just a ploy to see if harry's trustworthy, etc. & since thoughts on the fishing village tie back into my thoughts on the coin operated viewer i'm just gonna make one big post on both topics.

quick note before i start rambling here: the point of this post is NOT to come to a "evrart's actions w the fishing village good" or "evrart's actions with the fishing village bad" conclusion or to justify said actions. i'm strictly interested in digging into evrart's motivations behind it all & what i imagine was going on in his head while making these decisions.

first - to discuss why evrart involves harry in this whole thing. yeah i do think it's pretty likely that it IS primarily a test of his trustworthiness. I get the feeling that if the signatures were really as central to evrart's plans as he makes them out to be he would NOT leave it to harry to take care of it (even if we assume the most cooperative w evrart version of harry) just wouldn't see him him truly trusting a cop with a task like that ESPECIALLY not when kim's involved and evrart is very obviously aware that kim does not trust him. & harry is very well aware of the possibility that evrart is playing him:

as for why evrart chose this errand specifically as a test for harry, i can't say definitively. maybe this task was chosen because in addition to being a good general test of harry's trustworthiness, evrart wanted to get a real idea of what harry's opinions on this plan are? maybe the signatures really aren't actually important in the grand scheme of things like logic suggests? maybe the signatures are only unimportant because evrart has the letter intercepted? he does explicitly state he's friends with the mail man

so it could very well be the case that if you forge the letter he DOES know about it but doesn't let on that he knows (i feel like it's very likely he knows about the forgery especially, if doom spiral signs it out in the open rather than harry passing the forgery check & doing it in private??). also worth considering where you're mailing it to:

like it's going to evrart's account, not some neutral third party. so any of those things could factor into why he sends harry on this errand. I think it's more likely that if he REALLY just needed the signatures that evrart would've had some of his union guys get on it - although there's also the possibility evrart decided having rcm officer ask for the signatures on his behalf could be advantageous to getting the documents signed. another possibility is that evrart picked up on harry's can opening abilities & thought that having not just an rcm officer but HARRY specifically on the task might be advantageous, in addition to being a good test of his loyalty with those failsafes in place for if harry betrayed him on this one. so yeah i do suspect it WAS at least partly/primarily a test but don't feel like i can say FOR SURE if that's all there is to it & would be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts on this topic.

second - to get into the village situation itself & the coin operated viewer. throwing this screenshot up for some context:

I think it's really interesting how kim disapproves of evrart interfering with this "revitalization project" while also disapproving of evrart's actions with the village (again it all comes back to kim just implicitly distrusting evrart but i find the above especially interesting):

not going to rehash my thoughts on evrart's feelings about/intents for martinaise as a whole here even tho it's relevant to bear in mind but one aspect of that topic i DO think is worth mentioning specifically when it comes to discussing evrart's plans for the fishing village is that (if we take him at face value with the following, & for the purposes of this analysis i'm going to go with that interpretation) yes, evrart IS planning to use the construction noise to push the residents out of the village, but he isn't doing so thoughtlessly or without a plan on where they will end up:

& i DO believe this is his genuine intent because it's in line with his characterization when you consider how he keeps rene, gaston, & leo on the payroll. especially rene where he doesn't just keep him on the payroll where so that he can get by without his pride being wounded too much - he had the guard booth built specifically for rene. it wouldn't make sense for someone who DOES look out for members of his community to this extent to not extend similar consideration to the villagers.

i don't think evrart views his actions with the youth center as gentrification (again i will not be discussing if it actually IS or not - all of this is just my speculation on evrart's own interpretation of things) at least not in the same way that i imagine he viewed the revitalization project in '49. from evrart's perspective he grew up in martinaise, knows everything about the district, has the best interest of the people at heart etc, so why WOULD he allow some design studio to come in and start putting up tourist attractions?

i mean, they're putting up coin operated viewers & that horse statue meanwhile people are living in buildings on the verge of collapse? that kind of revitalization in all likelihood WOULD lead to gentrification and displacement. evrart doesn't want the people living in the village displaced - he wants them properly housed, to have prospects, to live in a district that's more than just a post war ruin. now whether he's actually going about achieving that the right way or not & if the villagers would agree with him here is a whole different topic but yeah.

[indigo-scarf]

Draco and Dransy for the ask game please?

thanks for asking! (I'll try not to make this post too huge lol)

ask game here

💚 Draco

How I feel about this character: 

My precious little meow meow for 15 years (that's a crystal anniversary!). I actually can't explain how I feel about him without divulging my entire autobiography, but here are some relatable things we have in common:

being edgy because vulnerability is weak

going scorched earth sour grapes when rejected

jealous little attention whores

having done cruel things for said attention

impossible-to-please parental figure set in their callous ways and restrictive worldview

complicated feelings about Harry Potter

Sometimes I wonder if it's unhealthy to indulge such strong kinship with a character over mostly negative parts of both of us but anyway moving on

All the people I ship romantically with this character: 

Pansy, Harry, Theodore, Luna, Goyle, Scabior, Borgin, Tom Riddle (in some really abusive way), Neville, Cedric, Remus, Sirius, Marcus Flint, Zacharias Smith, Cormac McLaggen, any random man off the street apparently. Astoria maybe.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: 

Narcissa! Love to project my mummy issues. And I also ship them incestuously, but that would still not be romantic, more just expressing mother-son affection in messed up ways.

My unpopular opinion about this character: 

He doesn't need to be redeemed to be lovable!!!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Canon is perfect the way it is. Get out of here with your deleted movie scenes, let him be a confused Slytherin mess.

I don't even really wish he had married Pansy, because despite her being my beloved princess I sort of like how much JKR hates her + I guess that would be narratively weird, unless Pansy's character had been given more attention all along/had a "horrible to questioning" arc of her own.

my OTP:

I refuse to pick one (you'd think I'd say Dransy, but I can think of so many reasons why they could break up lol).

my cross over ship:

Any of my other mean rich kid blorbos: Blair Waldorf, Sharpay Evans, Cheryl Blossom, August (Young Royals), Nathan (Life is Strange), Ryle (The Riot Club).

a headcanon fact:

He always has two birthday parties, one on the actual day (and it's a whole thing that it cannot flop due to exams) and a bigger one after term ends that marks the beginning of summer holidays.

💕 Dransy (aka racistflower, raciststars, or racistracist)

when I started shipping it if I did:

Last year. I genuinely don't know why I didn't ship it before, must be misogyny (and the fact that there are so few fanworks about it).

my thoughts:

I like mean rich kids and two of those together is chef's kiss. Also there are so many different directions you can go with this ship, from the most wholesome to the most abusive, all of which l find fun to explore.

What makes me happy about them:

The comfort of being childhood friends (even if I don't think their friendship was equal or entirely healthy) to lovers. Empathising with each other's dark side. Romanticising the dramatic ups and downs of potentially toxic fictional relationships. Going shopping.

What makes me sad about them:

That it's such a niche ship! Come on, it was literally canon for a while, what is wrong with society 😭

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

What fanfic? 😭 But I don't like it when Pansy is too sassy-confident, when Draco is too traditionally manly, or when either of them is explicitly forced into their ideology like they didn't enjoy being bigoted little shits.

things I look for in fanfic:

Being mean together, struggling to be kinder, (getting used to) being vulnerable with no one except each other, fighting because they refuse to be vulnerable, doing rich people things together, struggling to do non-rich people things... But I guess the most important thing is I'm just picky af about the characterisation vibes.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

Draco: Harry, Theodore, Luna, maybe Astoria

Pansy: Daphne, Marietta Edgecombe, maybe Lavender (but if she's black it gets rather complicated) + I once made up an OC that was Pansy's French gf

My happily ever after for them:

Luxurious travels around the world, until they're coastal grandparents with or without any grandchildren.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

They both want to be the little spoon, but sacrifices must be made, so they alternate.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

Spa day! And taking Witch Weekly quizzes.

[mxrstar]

i genuinely love the concept of harry and kim as a romantic couple, but in my opinion it would take time and effort to make it actually work in the context of disco elysium's canon storyline. there are a lot of moving parts that are hard to address but that would inevitably be part of their future.

for instance, what will harry's healing journey look like? healing isn't linear, i am sure he would still struggle a lot with his addiction. who is going to be part of his support system, how is he going to cope with returning back to 'normal'?

it's also reasonable to assume that what happened in martinaise would change his perspective on what it means to be a cop. both him and kim will need to face revachol political's changes. what is harry going to do? is kim going to change his mind, is reality going to look as still and moderate to him? are they going to argue about it, come to some sort of agreement?

i love how much effort the game puts into highlighting kim's relevance in harry's life. ["Just make sure you don't lose him, you won't find another like him..." It's true in more ways than you know.] [It feels safe to know the lieutenant is got your back, now and always.] they obviously care for each other. by the end, they are the reasons they are both still alive.

i believe the story wants you to be hopeful. i don't like thinking that their relationship would immediately become codependent or unhealthy, i think that's cynic and it doesn't need to go like that. kim and harry work together. they don't speak the same language or even say the same things, but it's surprisingly easy for them to find their way back to each other. like playing tennis with a stranger and realising you could go on forever, no matter how different your playing styles are.

if they both worked on themselves and learned to challenge each other (in equal measure, reducing kim to harry's keeper makes no sense) in ways that are perhaps riskier than anything that happens between them in the game, they could push through.

all this to say: when i try to imagine realistic kimharry, i always think that any kind of longing would need to be the step in the middle and not the one right before they get together. regardless of how you characterise dora, harry obviously has a problem idolizing those he loves and (based on how you play him) thinking of his life in terms of punishment and absolution. i think that if at any point he were to seriously realise that he is attracted to kim, it'd be hard to process that healthily. for a while, he would likely need to live a life that lets him be close to him without sealing a connection that he would be disproportionally terrified of losing. kim deserves someone who knows how to explicitly ask things of him and who can also listen and give things back--not just because he loves him, but because he is stable enough in himself to figure out what he wants and what's good for him and his partner. and kim too, separately, as his own person, would need to figure out what he desires. if anything is missing. if change is possible and why and how he wants it.

the endpoint, to me, is some kind of domestic moment set a couple of years into the future. they have both changed and talked many times before, and suddenly they realise that the world is still kind of fucked and harry isn't Fully Healed™ because he never can be, and the mistakes of his past haven't been forgiven because that's never been the point, but they are relatively okay. and it just hits them then, that maybe they can do it. and so they try

[themountainsays]

How do you think Mirabel would get along with her cousins in the papa Bruno AU? Because I can imagine Dolores and Camilo kind of becoming a sort of safe heaven for her in the family, since they have a lot less stakes in the drama, but I can also imagine that Pepa might not be too thrilled about their closeness. Maybe she worries that her kids might start to think that Mirabel is normal (because surely if they understood incest is bad they wouldn't be so close to her, right?), or she's anxious about them being judged by the rest of the family for being so accepting of her. Depending on how close they are, she might even worry that her children are so comfortable with Mira because they are engaging in incest too (either with her or with each other).

So, Pepa tries to separate them. Initially she attempts to be subtle about it, but very quickly it turns into "you can't be near your cousin without supervision". Whether this makes them shun Mira too or that just turns them sneaky is up to you.

Ohh I like this 👀 I like this very much. I don't think they'd need too big of a hint - in fact I think they may understand that Mirabel means trouble pretty quickly and begin to avoid her without being told - but I LOVE the idea of Pepa growing desperate and paranoid and explicitly telling them not to be near her. Ahh maybe Dolores and Camilo stay away from her without needing to be told because they read the room and are trying to save their own skin but Antonio never picked up on it? So Pepa has to sit him down and tell him that cousin Mira may seem funny but she's no good and he shouldn't talk to her. I can ever imagine her insisting that Antonio needs to stay with her in her room until his ceremony, because she doesn't want him sleeping in the nursery with Mirabel ("who knows what that spawn of hell will do to him?"), and of course Alma is like No no actually Mirabel needs to go live with her mother, we can't let her take up space with sweet lil toñito whose parents aren't related and who isn't an inbred abomination of nature uwu.

So idk how big Julieta's room is but they'll get her a bed or something to put in the corner or whatever. poor girl is getting the harry poopter treatment TT_TT

Of course Mirabel is utterly heartbroken. She couldn't feel more unloved. Which is why, later, it means so much when Isabela eventually invites her to share a bed with her occasionally. The bed is big and soft and warm and safe and she's in the arms of someone who loves her.

sisc0n aside I do think Mirabel's relationship with her cousins would be a lot more clear than the one with her sisters and parents. Like, those are her cousins. That's Aunt Pepa and Uncle Félix, no questions asked. Meanwhile she doesn't know whether her sisters are her sisters or cousins or half whatever or nothing at all or whether she should call Agustín or Bruno dad.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[toa-arania]

Actual things that happen in Harry Potter

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

The owners of as far as we know the only wizarding bank in britain are a race of hook-nosed goblins who only care about money and keeping it safe, and we literally never see them do anything else.

One of the only explicitly black characters in the series is the star player of the sports team.

Twist villain with basically no setup that I remember because Joanne is into Snape or something idk.

Also the irish guy keeps exploding things.

The name "Severus".

The film renames the title to Sorcerer's Stone in the US for as far as I can tell literally no reason, despite the fact that the titular Philosopher's Stone is (presumably, I've never come across an american copy) not renamed in the story due to being based on an actual alchemical principle.

Voldemort and Quirrell are not a ship because Joanne couldn't stand the idea of anything being gayer than she desperately wants us to think Dumbledore is.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Slave race.

An 11 year old who instantly becomes obsessed with the HPD and basically never stops.

People being racist against Hagrid because he's tall and nice and just a lovely ball of Huffle- oh? No? Oh right, he's a protagonist, of course he's Gryffindor, my mistake.

On that note, 25% of students are deemed evil by a sassy hat and get sent to Racism Jail because they didn't say no.

Another 25% of students probably have gifted-kid syndrome, maybe 50% based on how Slytherin does.

Half of this book is set in a toilet because of a dead bullied girl. The fact that no one ever asks how she's doing is a plot point on multiple occasions and she is apparently so starved for affection that she is relentlessly horny towards anyone who doesn't actively abuse her.

The name “Gilderoy”.

All these fucking 12yos are horny for the same teacher.

I'd say something about the teachers and negligence but honestly we saw how COVID went so fuck knows.

16yo Voldemort being vaguely horny for 11yo Ginny.

This school was built before plumbing was a thing and has a secret snake dungeon built into the plumbing, which apparently no one found when they were building the plumbing.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chocolate is the solution to depression.

The metaphor for depression gets put around the school and the teachers are fine with this. I'm sure this means nothing at all. A character is called “Remus Lupin” and we’re supposed to be surprised he’s a werewolf.

Harry spends the entire book forming a father-figure attachment to Lupin and hating Sirius, and then basically ends the book by doing a heel-point turn into being obsessed with Sirius as a father figure.

I'm pretty sure you don't execute a horse if it kicks someone irl.

Time travel.

Death by snu snu.

I’m not joking, the metaphor for depression kills you by snogging you.

I seriously need to emphasise that the knockoff ringwraiths genuinely suck you so hard your soul literally leaves your body.

Now seems like a sensible time to mention this series's general treatment of Ron as one of the many Actual Choices Joanne Made because next up is book 4 and it's about to get a whole lot worse.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"People have died in these games before, so only the 17yos are allowed."

Murder is on the curriculum. So are torture and mind control.

Everyone is horny for the french girls. There are no french men.

Everyone hates the eastern european men because they are men and we hate them. Also they sat at the Slytherin table and that makes them evil, and is definitely nothing to do with what people think of russia.

The russian is also a war criminal, and I think a racist but I don’t remember offhand?

While fact checking whether he is a racist I discovered that actually the entire-ass eastern european school is systemically racist.

Someone illegally enters a 14yo's name into a competition that is supposed to only have three people and he is magically the fourth. We later find out someone is trying to get him killed but it completely didn't fucking work.

Dumbledore asked calmly.

Every single thing about the way Fleur is written.

Ron spends basically this entire book being a dick.

Harry also spends basically this entire book being a dick.

The dragon is just allowed to escape the arena and piss off.

Harry gets sexually harassed by a dead 14yo with the epithet "moaning"

Harry gets gaslit into thinking his friends are going to drown.

18yo Viktor is horny for 14yo Hermione.

The only explicitly asian character in the entire series is called fucking Cho Chang, is in the Smart People™ house, and basically serves no purpose except to stand around and look pretty.

I'm pretty sure this is the book that has a bit about Fred and George tickling the giant squid.

The slave race not only apparently doesn't want to be free, but treat those who are free as pariahs.

Admittedly the twist villain in this book actually was set up, so I'll give her that.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Umbridge is based on a real actual person who exists.

Propaganda round 1.

Actually, I'll give this one some credit. This book introduces Luna Lovegood, who I genuinely love, and has some commentary on the school system that I do quite like. It is also one of the only books that punishes Harry for something he actively chose to do in the knowledge it might result in punishment that wasn't just Harry Being An Idiot.

However this is also the first book that has Dumbledore spend its entire runtime gaslighting Harry.

Cho Chang continues to do nothing in this book except occasionally cry.

Umbridge gets kidnapped and possibly railed for being too racist.

Someone gets turned into a baby. I am not making this up. This is a thing that happens because someone gets yote into a stack of time machines and destroys them all because Joanne didn't know what else to do with that plot point.

This section feels really short because honestly this book didn’t actually have a lot going on, yet it somehow manages to be the biggest book. But don’t worry, the next two are also chonky as fuck.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Dumbledore feels bad for gaslighting Harry so much last book that he lets this fucking 16yo join in on the magical quest into other people’s memories.

Horace Slughorn, the only Slytherin in the series who is remotely nice to anyone ever still manages to be a racist at least once.

This book explicitly describes Lavender Brown as white over a year after the film of book 3 already cast a black actress. The films responded by re-casting her. I’m pretty sure she also spends most of the book dosing Ron with love potion but honestly I don’t remember much about this one.

Speaking of which, they teach horny teenagers how to make love potion because there's no way that can possibly go wrong.

The half-blood prince writes up his own spells, which sounds impressive on paper but all of these spells are just shitty latin anyway. It would’ve been more impressive for him to write up his own potions instead of working out that saying levicorpus levies your goddamn corpus.

This one contains a lot of flashback memory stuff. Like a lot. And it is basically all Voldemort backstory exposition. I don’t remember a lot of details but I think he was from one of those rich people incest families that get mentioned offhand in book 5.

Actually this is probably a sensible time to mention that although this series is ostensibly about how who your parents are doesn’t matter, the subtext is constantly smacking you over the head with how much it does actually definitely matter.

I’m pretty sure this is the book where someone teleports herself in half and is just fine.

This is the book where Snape goes from “teacher who is such a bully that a boggart turns into him” to “teacher who is officially instructed to bully harry into learning a thing that Dumbledore later tells him to just not do anyway”.

The death eaters instruct a 16yo child to murder Dumbledore and are surprised when he keeps fucking up.

I think this might be the book where someone eats dragon testicles but I might be misremembering that.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Honestly I don’t even know how much of book 7 I remember at this point, but a lot happened. Like a lot. The main thing being Joanne upending the entire bottle of major character death sauce even though Dobby was the only one anyone actually cried about. Fun fact, Dobby is also the only nonmagical death in the series because he just gets fucking stabbed by Helena Bonham Carter. Even other people who get killed without actual spellcasting are killed by magical creatures, which are- y'know- magical.

Propaganda round 2.

Joanne manages to retroactively queerbait Dumbledore with the prequel to Voldemort, refusing to be remotely gay with them in the text, but then saying they are anyway.

Joanne finally reveals the full extent of her obsession with Snape, and spends I think multiple chapters trying to redeem him and paint him as the secret hero without once even addressing how much of a dick he is to people that aren’t Harry.

In her fervent attempts to redeem Snape, Joanne accidentally makes him an incel.

In fact, Joanne tries so hard to redeem Snape that Harry names a kid after him when Hagrid (basically Harry’s actual father figure since book 1) gets fucking nothing, despite the fact that he is the only one of Harry’s five father figures to survive the whole series.

Cursed Child Bonus Round

Joanne, after having previously whitewashing Lavender, decides to blackwash Hermione instead of just making good poc characters in the first place. I’m pretty sure she said something about how Hermione could have been black all along despite literally describing her as white in the books.

The relentless queerbaiting of Albus and Scorpius.

In a parallel universe where he didn’t die, Nice Guy™ Cedric Diggory becomes such an incel that Voldemort wins.

Voldemort is pronounced with a silent t.

The lunch lady is an eldritch horror.

Hermione is minister for magic despite directly saying in book 7 that she will never run for the position.

Voldemort Day™.

Propaganda round 3, I think?

It’s been a while since I saw it, but I’m pretty sure this play casually kills off Harry at least twice. One of those is definitely a result of Depression Snu Snu.

Oh yeah, the time travel is back, but it’s a d i f f e r e n t o n e so the rules are different.

Voldemort and Bellatrix somehow have a baby for some reason despite Voldemort explicitly wanting to be immortal, so a successor would be pointless, and explicitly being “incapable of love” is like his whole deal.

Speaking of which, the main villain of Harry Potter is the villain because he is “incapable of love”, which I shouldn’t even have to say is intensely prejudiced against arospec (and probably acespec because I don’t think anyone could seriously tell me Joanne will see a difference) people, but it also means that (again, because I refuse to believe Joanne will see a difference) Voldemort has exactly zero reason (or ability, according to Joanne) to have a baby.

This baby is the main villain of the play, and I remember nothing about her aside from this fact.

I'm not doing Fantastic Beasts because I remember nothing about it and I don't want to.

[cantquitu]

idk louis pretty explicitly says "yeah i'm rich AF but i also experience the same things you do" like, he doesn't ignore his privilege.

No, he doesn’t ignore it at all, he calls it out. I didn’t suggest he did. He’s saying that his problems might look different because he’s rich and famous, but actually he’s just like us. Which is valid. But the way it’s phrased just makes me think, “Yeah, we know you experience heartache and loss and worry just the same, and you like a night in with your girlfriend and the pub on Sunday. But you’re also fuckin’ loaded. 

So yep, we’re all human  - but I’d rather be sitting on a pile of cash while dealing with the problems all humans deal with”. Which I doubt is the response he would hope for. Again, I understand his intention. But he has phrased it more eloquently elsewhere than he has in this song, in my opinion. 

Sorry I didn’t get to answer these asks earlier. Gonna publish them all together!

Anon 2: I like the idea of the song but I wish he went about it differently.. maybe he could’ve less literal? Idk but ‘i’m just like you’ sounds so weird to me, I can’t. I usually like Louis’ songwriting but this is not great imo :(

Yes, it’s a simple thing but the “just like you” is what grates with me. ‘Just like anyone’, ‘same as everyone’ would not grate as much.

holyfant said:I agree with your first thoughts; I think the sound of the song is nice enough but the sentiment *and* the lyrics are a bit cringy. “Yeah I get sad too”? That’s just a little… eesh. I can feel that he’s earnest about this but his exploration of the very interesting tension between a celeb’s public person and their inner life just feels a little childish and undeveloped. I like how he tends towards non-poetic and straight-forward lyrics but this falls a bit flat to me.

Yep, that sums up how i feel about it.

Anon 3: the lyrics are def cringe but i’d also rather hear the lyrics to just like you than “coke and bicardi, sipping lightly” and “she’s a devil between the sheets” tbqh :/

Oh god yes, anything’s better than either of those two lines!!!

Anon 4: I think the biggest issue is the “same stress” because nahhh neverrrr

I mean, the important things bring about the same stress - love, loss, grief, fear - but, yeah he has a lot of very different stresses (ones that I can say straight up I could NEVER cope with and  I don’t know how he manages), and then there are others that he is lucky enough to never have to experience.

Anon 5: I’ve just listened to Just Like You out of curiosity, cause I’ve never been a 1D fan and only became a Harry fan recently, I don’t follow the other boys careers. So coming from a sort of neutral listener pov, the song is lyrically quite cringy, yeah. I understand where the boy is coming from, but it’s not coming across right. If he’d focused on the human struggle side of things it would have worked, but talking about cars, money and glory makes it very unrelatable and works against the message. 

I don’t mind that so much because I think it would have sounded much more hollow if he didn’t acknowledge the privileges he has. I just don’t think it was done particularly well.

Anon 6: maybe the simpler meaning of JLY is about not wanting to be a topic in tabloids, not wanting to be that kind of celebrity. Louis wants the acclaim as a musician, he loves his craft but never signed up for the hideousness of the last two years in tabloids. this idea to sell art you must live every moment for public consumption seems irksome to him. He’s ready to return to being a musician sans the scrutiny. and JLY is the mandate just told in his soft lyrics

That’s certainly one interpretation but I really don’t think that’s his intention. First of all, he has said several times that this song is for the fans, to share more about himself with them. So I see it as directed to fans and the public rather than a call out to the tabloids. And I really don’t see it as being about him wanting to practice his craft in peace. Nothing in the lyrics indicates that. Especially as, let’s be honest, Louis signed up for the X Factor and I find it a very big stretch to believe he did it solely for the ‘art’. I don’t think he’d ever claim that himself. 

Anon 7: Feel the same about the song, and it’s also because of my tastes. I mean i liked jho, not too much bty, but i totally dislike jly. Still i’ll support Louis, but it doesn’t mean we are forced to love all he does just because we love him ;)

I’m off to listen to it again now, to see if it’ll grow on me. I like that Louis is being so honest, even if I don’t think it was executed particularly well. I hope people take it the song how it was intended …