#and could take a LOT of notes from Alexi

[imperiumwifestrikesagain]

Look- regardless of how we all feel about the promotion- the only thing I see anyone blaming is the fictional character Primm.

You know what that means?

Bad writing gets you mad at the writer. Good writing gets you mad at the characters.

This is a good thing ❤️

[libraryofloveletters]

Burnt

Darwin Nunez x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of darwin's favourite phrase 'yeah man 😁', dinner parties are a lot of work, darwin is regretting his idea, wandering hands, almost pg-13, alexis is a cockblock and reader gets to play with darwin's hair loool

Word Count: 681

Author's Note: this whole idea came from me and pookie joking about how darwin would be like 'yeah man😁' to whatever you suggest lmao - this one's for you bookie @themandaloriansdiaries

--

Darwin suggests you host a dinner party at your place for a few of his teammates before you all head out for the holidays. He seems to have underestimate how much work goes into said party.

Your boyfriend suggested you do a little something at home to mark the end of the first half of the season, perhaps a party. You made him aware that throwing together an entire Christmas party in a week wouldn't be possible.

A dinner party would be more doable and Darwin being the darling he was, replied with a smile and his favourite phrase - "yeah man."

It would be a small party, 7 of you in total. You and Darwin, Lucho, Gera and their little girl, plus Alexis and his girlfriend. Your boyfriend wanted to get everyone together before you were all off for the holidays - Alexis headed home to Argentina, Lucho would be visiting family in Colombia and you and Darwin would be in Uruguay until their return to training.

You agreed to cook dinner rather than Cather, you figured it wouldn't be that difficult seeing that you prepped whatever you could ahead of time.

Darwin peeked into the kitchen, you had sent him out to fix the malfunctioning Christmas lights outside. "Need help?"

"Did you fix the lights?" You asked him, cutting the peppers.

He nods, getting water from the fridge, "yeah man, had to change the plug." He says, arms wrapping around you from behind. His chin rests on your shoulder, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can help me cook."

Darwin looked at the counter, the bowls and ingredients lined up were overwhelming. "You're using all this?"

"Yeah," you laughed, "all of this is prepped, you should have seen the place when you were at training yesterday."

Darwin lets go of you, "is there something else I can do?"

You grabbed his wrist, turning to face him before he could pull away. "These are your teammates, you're helping me cook, Darwin."

Never have you called him Darwin unless you were serious about it, and that you were.

The man nods, making him busy. He was more of a hazard than a help; he almost burnt the pasta for the mac and cheese, gagged at the touch of the raw chicken and nearly lost a finger while cutting stuff for a salad.

You take the knife from him, setting it aside to check his hand. "Jesus, be careful, will you?"

"Yeah man," he nods, "I got it."

The two of you finish up dinner earlier than expected, giving you more time to get ready.

Darwin was getting out of the shower as you finished up your makeup, looking for something for you to wear. You had just gotten dressed when he appeared in the room, shirt undo as was his hair. "Babbeeeeeeeeee," he calls, walking over to you as you were putting on your jewellery.

"What?" you looked at him in the reflection of the mirror.

He sits beside you, squeezing next to you on the bench in front of your vanity. "Can you do my hair? It's not going the way I want."

You get up, letting him sit properly as you grab the hair brush. "Do I have a choice?"

"No," he grins, leaning his head back for you to brush his hair.

You manage to get his hair into a bun, smoothing out all the bumps as you wrap the hair tie around it to secure it.

Darwin smiles, "perfect." He turns around, pulling you between his legs. "Thank you." He leans up and you meet him halfway, leaning down to kiss him. You can feel your boyfriend's hands rest on your ass, grabbing at it as he pulls you into him.

Just as you go to get on top of him, the doorbell rings. Alexis's voice carried from downstairs. "Open the door!"

You laughed, your boyfriend's face is against your side, groaning. "He's early," Darwin grumbles as he stands.

"You're late," you inform him, "it's 6:30, we invited them for 6."

"So he's late."

"Technically, yes." You did up the buttons on Darwin's shirt. "But you should have been ready by now."

"Not helpful, baby."

"Wasn't trying to be," you smiled, giving him one more kiss before you two headed down.

[lotus-n-l0ve]

Hii just a random ask but who do you think are the mean Doms, the hard Doms, soft doms, brat tamers, and any other doms that I can't think of atm in Blue Lock?

I'm new to blue lock so pardon me for any mistakes I do. So sorry I couldn't do every character Anon.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐟 𝐃𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲?

— Blue Lock x Female Reader

SYNOPSIS : What kind of Doms are they + little headcanons.

WARNINGS : Cursing, mention of bondage, wipping, sex, sex positions, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

NOTE FROM LOTUS : Hey guys, I had to do something digging because honestly I have no idea about how many types of Doms are there and also which blue lock character falls in those catagories.

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 // 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍 + 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒 ➝ Barou, Kaiser, Shindo, Ego, Rin, Sae, Raichi, Kunigami, Koun, Nagi, Otoya

He is mean, so so mean that makes you want to cry almost every time. He doesn't care you are crying, yelling or throwing tantrums.

He loves you, he really does. But he also likes to keep you in check. He has rules that he expects you to obay and if you don't then get ready for punishment.

He has a lot of kinks. One of them being bondage and wipping. He secretly wishes that you do some mistake just so he could tie you up in bondages and bend over so that your ass is sticking out in the air.

He would wipe you without any mercy and make you count with each hit. If you fail to do so, then he would start from zero again.

You fail miserably each time. Just when you are about to finish the hit would get harder and harder. By the, your cheeks are covered in tears and your eyes are blood red and your nails are digging into the surface.

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒 ➝ Isagi, Bachira, Alexis, Tokimitsu, Rin, Gin, Kunigami, Zantetsu, Kurona

He is so sweet and gentle with you. Always looking out for you, if you have any special needs then he would pay special attention to them.

One of their favourite position is missionary. He likes to watch your face. He also prefers slow sex. When he is deep inside you, stroking your inside with his cock, he watches as pleasure takes over your face.

You eyes squeeze shut and head lean back. You lucious lips form into a 'O' and your back arched. He would run his hand in your sweaty hair and murmure sweet praises in your ears.

"That's like a good, girl." "You are taking me so well." "Just one more baby, just one more."

However, he sure does love to overstimulate you. He loves his pretty girl but when in action he sees your face morphine in pleasure he can't stop his body. He overstimulates you to the point that your thighs quiver.

𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒 ➝ Isagi, Alexis, Reo, Rin, Aryu, Chigiri, Gin, Kunigami, Otoya, Yukimiya

He is kind of a mixture of mean, hard and soft dom. He also has rules that he expects you to follow and punishes you if you don't follow them correctly. However he is a lot more patiant than hard doms.

He would always give you a chance to redeem yourself. But if you still don't hard punishment is waiting for you. He would call you calmly to come to the bedroom with a tone you know not to defy.

Then he would being a tortuous night of your cries and orgasm deniels. He would not let you come even once. By the end you body would be aching and begging for him to relieve you from the pain. Your trembling lips would utter pleas.

Other than that he is pretty cool. Never shys away from trying new things and life with him pretty adventures.

𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒 ➝ Kaiser, Shindo, Reo, Aryu, Kunigami, Yukimiya, Aiku, Sendo, Otoya

He falls between daddy doms and mean doms but he is more on the meaner side.

He isn't putting up with any of your bullshit. Evryone mentioned upon has their own way of taming you.

Some tame you with light punishment like spanking or silent treatment. While some tame you by edging you to your high and then completely pulling back, leaving you unsatisfied.

On the other side some just decide to fuck the bratty attitude out of you.

Some even choose to humiliate you whether in public or private.

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒 ➝ Barou, Kaiser, Shindo, Ego, Sae, Raichi, Koun, Aiku, Otoya

He thrives off of the raw passion. Condom? Out of the window. He doesn't want anything separating you from him. So you better have some other way to prevent pregnancy or you will have teams of football running around your house.

He wants to feel your clammy walls wrap around his cock like a glove. You will feel every vain of his dick stroking your inside with each thrust.

Bites and scratches are common. His teeth will dung onto your soft skin and draw blood, making you cry in pain. Some are sadistic so they like it even more.

He almost purrs when your nails leave trail of blood on his back. That means he is doing the right thing. Giving you all the raw pleasure.

He fucks you till you pass out. The next day when you get up from the bed with great struggle and walk into the bathroom. You stand in front of the mirror and adore the marks he had left on your body.

© 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐔𝐒-𝐍-𝐋𝟎𝐕𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 — all content rights belongs to LOTUS-N-L0VE. do not plagiarize any works and do not repost or translate onto any other sites.

All the rights and credits of the characters, gifs, songs and pictures used here belongs to their rightful owners.

[piffany666]

OK just one more punk progeny won't hurt ~

Chapter 8: exceptions

(Ftm trans Bright eyes - uses he/him pronouns)

(Lovely demi girl - uses they/she pronouns)

Fred's eyes lingered on the door that was closed behind Bright and Porter.

He had so much to think about after that meeting, and yet he couldn't distract himself from the interaction he had just witnessed.

Fred's pov:

Well...those two seemed to...get along.

Wait. What am I doing? Some crazy stuff just happened and I'm more focused on who Brights...associating with!?

....this is all.....a lot.

We don't talk for a few months and suddenly he's on his way to become a Prince!?

I know how stubborn he is but you'd think he'd at least tell me SOMETHING

Actually no. I know that no matter what Bright would've kept this from me for as long as he could. But Sam. Sam should have said something. Hell he's the one who apparently gave William permission to take him in! And since when did Bright get so close to William anyway?!

.........no. dont think that. Thats not-

"You alright kiddo?"

End of Freds pov.

Sam interrupted his spiraling thoughts.

"I'm...no i-i don't know"

Sam sighed, then sat beside him.

"Thought so. Listen, I'm sorry I didn't say anything about this sooner. It's just....you know Bright, he would've been pissed off to high heaven if I'd told you his business, and besides, it wasn't a definite dissension. Hell, I only just found out that he'd made his choice. I would've thought he'd have told you by now, if only to claim bragging rights"

"Nah, we stopped talking after we had that arrangement, and when Bright wants to avoid someone -"

He stopped himself for a moment, collected his thoughts then sighed.

"Let's just say he wouldn't brake the silence, even if he had something to brag about"

For a moment, the two just sat there. There was never much talking whenever they were together. Sam always showed his feelings best through actions, and while Fred was actually the tipe to believe talking is the best road to success in any relationship, they managed to maintain a fairly healthy one. The same couldn't be said for Bright and Sam, who, despite having many things in common, such as communication skills, couldn't stand each other.

The thought that almost made its way into Fred's head sat threateningly at the gates of his subconscious.

Sam sensed there was something Fred wanted to say. In the past, he would have let him be and allowed Fred to come to him when he felt comfortable to do so. However.

"Hey, whatcha thinking about ?"

"I-it just"

Fred tried to tell himself that what he wanted to say was wrong and, to an extent, cruel. Then he remembered the way Bright looked at Porter just now.

And he let it out.

"It just doesn't seem fair! He gets us both killed, he's disrespectful towards you, he ignores me and how is he punished? By becoming royalty!?"

As Fred said this he shot up from his seat.

Once he had finished he exhaled heavily as if holding that thought in was the equivalent of holding his breath.

"......your right. It's not fair"

Replied Sam after a moment.

"Believe me when I say I do understand, but you have to understand that William is a better fit for Bright. He'll be able to handle him better than I ever could, him being a Prince as a result of that is just an....unfortunate catch"

Freds outburst caught the attention of Vincent and Lovely.

Alexis didnt seem to care, or at least thats what she made it seem like.

The room was silent however Vincent could feel a disturbance in Lovely's emotions.

"Hey, Lovely, are you ok?"

He asked as his hand sliped into theirs.

"Im. Fine."

They said through their teeth.

Their tone seemed almost stern...?

Vincent took their word for it but noted that this conversation seemed to have an....effect on them.

He took their hand and squeezing it for a moment.

Suddenly, after retreating for a short while, William returned to the common room.

He began to adress alexis.

"Alexis, i know i said i wanted Bright and Porter to get more acquainted, however, it completely slipped my mind that i have a meeting scheduled with Porter in less than 20 minutes, could you at some point retrieve him and bring him to me?"

She gave a nonchalant hand gesture that suggested that she would do so whenever it best suited her.

"Good, the rest of you are permitted to disperse you know?"

"We're aware we were just trying to asses the situation"

Replied Sam.

"Fair enough, however, its getting early, so please try and be conscious of time, if it comes down to it, you could spend the day here?"

"Nah i appreciate it but i gotta get back"

"Alright, then keep an eye on the time Samuel"

"Yes your highness"

At that, his majesty dispersed and retreated to his study.

The remaining vampires paused for a moment, silently debating whether or not they wanted to continue the precious topic of conversation and subconsciously arguing over who would be the one to continue if they were to do so.

Fred was still being taunted by the image of Bright's eyes and the way he looked at Porter.

He had only ever seen that look on very specific occasions and he was far from the only one to be greeted with such a look.

And by the way they left together Fred was met with the reality that he wouldn't be the last.

His fists gripped the fabric of the couch.

"Bright should at least have to apologise to you before being made prince..."

Sam spent a few minutes hesitating between whether or not to answer that. Then he replied.

"I agree"

Once sam had responded, fred took that as a sighn to continue.

"After everything hes done, he think he can just up and leave?"

Sam sighed. There was no point in trying to maintain some sort of moral high ground and pretend like he didnt agree with him.

"I dont know what i expected, but yeah, showing me at least some gratitude would do him some good. He didnt even havd the decency to tell me himself, we havent talked in God knows how long, ive had to get all my information on this whole mess of a situation throught william"

Sam felt the same weight leave him as fred felt when he finally let his true feelings out.

"I-im sorry Sam, but i dont think William is right for Bright. I get that hes the king but what has Bright eyes ever done to get a promotion this big?! Ive had to suffer so much because of him and the only person to console me has been you, not my supposed best friend, you"

"Well-"

Sam looked around for a moment to check to see if alexis was still there but to his relief, she had silently disappeared. Despite this he still lowered his voice as he said.

"We all know how good william is at picking his progeny, not you vincent! You know i dont mean you"

He said this as soon as he saw Vincent gering up to say somthing.

Vincent slumped back into his seat, he notice again how tense Lovely looked.

"Do...do you think hes going to end up like alexis?"

Fred asked with trepidation.

Sam winced after hearing this. Then answered.

"Alexis is the way she is for a number of reasons. Bright and Alexis are very diffrent people, no matter how similar their....behaviour might be, however, that dosnt mean i dont think this...promotion will change Bright for the worst. Because i KNOW that it will"

He chose his words very carefully.

Lovely's face had gone dark by this point, Vincent was really begining to worry.

"If William were to allow him access to any of his possessions or any of the privileges that come with being his progeny it would make even worse of a reckless monster out of him"

Sam knew that alexis and Bright eyes are different people, but adam and alexis where both testaments to what this kind of power could do to a person, so Fred's concerns began to cloud Sam's mind.

"What do those 'privileges' entail exactly?"

Fred was naturally curious as to what kind of luxury would be at Brights disposal.

"Just the same as whats available to Vincent and alexis, money, real estate, just general expensive sh*t he dosnt need"

Another disapproving glance from Vincent, who was begining to question the implication of what sam was saying in regards to his 'privileges'.

"Oh great because thats exactly what he needs"

The irony and sarcasm in his tone dripped from every word that came out of his mouth.

Right before he was about to continue, he was interrupted by Lovely, who stood up as she said.

"I have a question"

Vincent's hand sliped out of hers as she made a fist.

"Why don't talk about me the way you do Bright eyes?"

.........

This question baffled Sam and confused Fred. Vincent's mouth parted slightly in shock.

"What?"

Sam asked coldly.

"Why. Dont you. Talk about me. The way you do. Bright eyes?"

She shortened her statement but started it just as bluntly as she did previously.

She didn't give Sam a moment to respond when they turned her attention towards fred.

"How old is Bright eyes?"

"W-what? What dose that have to do with-?"

"Answer the question. How old is Bright eyes?"

What Lovely was really asking was 'how old was he when he was turned' but its not like he'd aged since then. Or will age from then on.

"19.....same as me"

He answered while looking up at lovely, Fred had never considered Lovely to be an authority figure but he certainly did now.

"Right. You wanna know how old i was when i went to wonder world?"

Fred flinched at the mention of the place of his turning.

"24. I was 24. I went there and was given a warning and you know what i did? I went back there. Im an adult and i didnt know better, so what? Should Bright have known better? And if thats what you think then why. Dont you treat me. The way you treat. Him?"

Everyone was silent. This was a side of Lovely that neither sam nor Fred had ever seen before.

Vincent knew better than to make Lovely mad for this exact reason.

"Whats your point?"

Asked Sam, who immediately came to regret asking.

"My point is you need to give Bright some damn slack! From the moment he was turned you blamed him for what happend. He's a babby! Im a grown ass adult!"

They bellowed at Sam then turned their attention towards Fredrick.

"And look, i know you blame him because he peer pressured you into going into wonder world that night, i appreciate that, but you cant act like you where the only one hurt by his mistakes"

Vincent was begining to consider stepping in.

Lovely once again addressed Sam.

"He made a mistake! A stupid, life changing mistake! No one in this room can say they haven't done that, and yet you wasted no time making sure he knew it was his fault! Would you have done that to me? Imagine if somone did that to you when you where first turned. Imagine if somone told you to have known better? Imagine if somone told you to drive safer!

"Lovely!"

Vincent finally stepped in, interrupting her explosive rant, not entirely on purpose, he simply shouted at her out of shock.

This seemed to cause Lovely to realise the severity of what they just said and she began to blush out of embarrassment and shame.

Their head bowed as she tried to avoid facing Sam.

"I-im sorry i-i have to go"

She rushed out of the room, vincent tried to go after her but stopped himself.

She just needed time to cool off.

"I should go"

Sam said as he stood up.

Vincent didn't want him to feel like he needed to leave, but he knew he couldn't convince him to stay any longer.

Besides, the sun was bound to come up soon.

"C-can i go with you? I dont wanna have to spend the day here"

Fred's room was directly next to Bright's.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew from that look Bright gave Porter that Bright didnt intend to spend the day alone.

"Yeah, come on kiddo lets go"

Sam replied, fred stood up and they made their way out.

Lovely was aimlessly wandering around the manor.

She wanted to talk to Bright eyes. Ever since he got here sam discouraged everyone from talking to him, saying he wasn't 'sociable' or 'particularly friendly'.

But what would she even say?

She thought,

'Hello i know we've never had a real conversation but i just defended your honour. Could we be friends now?'

Lovely groaned.

Then she turned a corner and immediately bumped into alexis.

"OWW!"

"Ah! Oh! S-sorry i-"

"Ugh its fine i was actually looking for you anyway"

"R-really...?"

Lovely couldn't name a time alexis had even had a real conversation with her, let alone activly seek her out.

"W-why...?"

Lovely asked hesitantly.

"I just ran into Bright eyes....and Porter"

Her lips curved into a smug smile.

"Lets just say i caught them at a....bad time~"

"Oh? OH"

Lovely had a good idea of what alexis was refering to.

At first they were suprised, then worried.

Lovely knew how much Vincent hated Porter, hell she hated him arguably just as much and Vincent had taken a huge liking to Bright eyes. Lovely found it adorable how happy Vincent was at the prospect of a little brother, so how would he feel about this?

"Aha~ Porter told me hed rather not lose his head telling vincent himself but he knew i couldnt just keep this to myself, so im on my way to tell him in his sted, i suggest you dont bring this up with Vincent, he's got enough on his mind, he most likely would want to avoid this information as much as possible, at least until after the summit"

"Yes of course"

Lovely knew how much pressured Vincent was under, they didnt want to add to it by bringing this up.

And besides, if alexis was going to tell him anyway then hed talk about it with her when he felt ready.

"Alright then, where are you going?"

"Oh! I was on my way to see Bright but if he's....busy i-"

"Oh dont worry, when i walked in on them Porter chased me away as opposed to staying with Bright eyes, my best guess is that Bright got sick of waiting for him to come back so he went back to his room"

Lovely was suprised by her intuition.

"A-alright then, ill go see if he's there"

Alexis hummed then made her way past them.

Lovely still didnt know what she'd say to him.

Once she had turned the corrner that she had previously attempted to turn before bumping into alexis, her eyes where met with something she believed to be the answere to her dilemma.

@darlin-collins thank you for proof reading!

@anexistingexistence thank you for the dialog recommendations

@you-think-i-care-mate

[hippolotamus]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @giddyupbuck @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @disasterbuckdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @wildlife4life Thank you loves 💖

I don't really have anything new today (this cold hasn't been helping any writing). Have this snippet of with my heart in my lap that you've definitely never read before.

The rear door opens, allowing Twyla to maneuver inside while showing off the deep cut V that comes to a point halfway down her back.  Alexis clutches at the underside of her thigh, nails digging crescents into the flesh to prevent herself from reaching forward. So she isn’t further tempted to trace the expanse of bare skin, or spontaneously press a kiss to every visible freckle.  A wave of emotions crashes over her, making her want to call the whole evening off. To keep Twyla to herself so she doesn’t have to share. But, as much as Alexis wants to, that’s not a decision she's entitled to make.  “Hi.” Twyla’s greeting comes out breathy and light. The single word seems to float between them, fluttering across the space, gentle and delicate. Like something Alexis could catch in her palm and tuck away for later.  “Hey,” Alexis manages to answer. “You look… beautiful.”  Except Twyla is so much more than that. Beautiful doesn’t scratch the surface of how stunning she is. She should be photographed or, better yet, immortalized in a painting.  A rosy pink settles high on Twyla’s cheeks as she mumbles thank you and shyly averts her gaze. But then she tilts her head, looking at Alexis as though the rest of the world no longer exists. There’s a haze of sadness in her eyes when she adds, “You look like you’re going to break a lot of hearts tonight.”  Alexis pushes away the immediate ache that settles in her chest, fairly confident the only heart breaking tonight will be her own.  The rest of the ride to Elmdale they gossip about who’s coming out tonight, whether Roland and Jocelyn will be asked to leave for inappropriate dancing, and generally buzzing about the idea of an up and coming band performing so close to them.  Street lamps begin dotting the landscape, situated closer and closer together as they approach the edge of town. Cars and pickup trucks converge in slow moving traffic leading to The Quarter Note. When Alexis spies the electric blue sign at the front of the club, an idea begins to form as she peers at the long lines of vehicles.  “C’mon.” She grabs Twyla’s hand, pulling them both toward the door. With her free hand Alexis grasps the handle, tugging it open.  “Lex! What are you doing?” Twyla giggles behind her, scooting across the seat. The sound sends a thrill through Alexis, making her feel like she’s on top of the world.  “Getting us there faster!” They hold onto each other like a lifeline, fingers interlaced as they weave through the maze of vehicles, ignoring the horns blaring as they cut through.  People glare and mutter under their breath as they make it to the sidewalk, laughing and breathless. Alexis can't care what anyone says though when Twyla is squeezing her arm, head thrown back and eyes shut tight, voice ringing out like a bell.  Unwilling to separate herself for longer than necessary, Alexis holds out her arm, offering it for Twyla to take. She does, slipping her hand through Alexis’s elbow and connecting them together. Alexis enjoys the way they fit like two puzzle pieces. Like a sign that this is how they should be.

no pressure tagging @stereopticons @rmd-writes @apothecarose @welcometololaland @vanillahigh00 LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @hoodie-buck @daffi-990 @your-catfish-friend @jamespearce9-1-1 @spotsandsocks @ladydorian05 @indestructibleheart @lemonzestywrites @thewolvesof1998 @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @eowon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @elvensorceress @chaosandwolves @buddierights @911onabc @spaceprincessem @honestlydarkprincess @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @statueinthestone @exhuastedpigeon @spagheddiediaz and anyone else who wants to share

[lucem-stellarum]

Spoilers for the Summit pt 3, and under the cut for length

Damn, and I was so convinced it was actually Alexis too.

William, this was not the time or method to let Vincent learn about the murkier parts of your morality. You could have explained it when you told him he had to run the Summit alone. You were just worried that Vincent wouldn't play along if he knew, and you know what? You'd have been right. Everyone makes mistakes when parenting, but I love-hate to see it here. I love the repeated emphasis that William does love Vincent, because that makes it hurt even worse. There's a specific kind of pain with the growth and realization that your parents are people, with real flaws and that make real mistakes.

I'm not saying that Vincent is perfect, either. Porter was right that he was sheltered about it, but Vincent let himself be sheltered as well. Sam, Fred, and Bright Eyes (yes their storyline was scrubbed from the official canon, but then why does Sam get to make it personal about Quinn's actions on Halloween in their little extrajudicial confrontation? I'm getting off topic. Anyway) all had terrible experiences with other vamps, Adam was in the same clan and we all know how messed up he was. Vincent himself experienced how easy it is to push humans to a sort of second class citizen where it didn't matter if he hurt them or overrode their boundaries since he could just wipe memories and it was for his own survival. Why wouldn't other vamps develop that same sort of moral numbness to other people's pain and suffering? It only takes one remorseless vampire monarch for every single one of them to have to resort to those tactics to protect their own regardless of their own personal feelings about violence. Sort of the "carry a bigger stick" mentality that's ridiculously difficult to deescalate (and that's with the benefit of having human generational divides. with immortal vampires everything is personal).

I do wish that Lovely got to interject a little bit more about all of this. The Bennetts were mainly killed for their part in the Inversion. The Inversion which, just so it's stated for the official record, had a pretty big impact on our vampire listener character. Porter says to ask the Shaw pack if the Bennetts deserved to die, but Lovely was right there. I'm hoping there's a follow up with them and Vincent afterwards where they get to say their piece to him, and maybe it will help Vincent understand why William decided that they had to die. They might have better luck once the shock has worn off a bit, had time to settle in. In universe it's only been, what, 2-3 hours since the start of the Summit? I'm giving Vincent a lot of grief, but as a character he's a lot closer to the stress of it all both physically and temporally. The Summit is his duty, therefore (if William has taught him anything about taking responsibility) the Bennett's deaths are also his fault because it happened under his supervision when (in his mind) he was supposed to make everyone "play nicely together" for the evening. He didn't stop it, therefore it's his fault, and he's made it very clear how he feels about causing violence/death.

Speaking of Lovely being oddly quiet, there wasn't a whole lot about Sam being mentioned either. Alexis got brought up, because obviously she would when talking about the amoral and bloodthirsty side of the clan. I think Sam's going to be more pragmatic than Vincent is with all of this, but I can't decide how far he's willing to go about it. Thoughts?

Was anyone else inspired or intrigued by Porter saying that "William always does the right thing"? I was listening (with headphones) out in public before driving home, so the exact wording might be different, but that sounds like there's an interesting story there.

I don't want to have the reputation of someone who just hates on Porter, because damn it I ought to like him more. His character hits so many notes that I like to see. Vincent calling him William's weapon and attack dog? I love watching that kind of relationship and devotion. I've shipped it before, and I will again (though I have to say, that would make Porter's relationship with Vincent so much worse. I kinda want to see the trainwreck of the evil step father). His gray morality, his intelligence, his quick wit, his deft manipulation of people? I can enjoy and envy all of it. But damn his hypocrisy, inconsistency, and that fight is just infuriating. "I can't hold it against you that you act sheltered because you've been sheltered your whole afterlife". Bullshit, Porter, you absolutely did blame Vincent for being sheltered and that's one of the reasons you got in that fight with Vincent in the first place. Porter might not be actively lying to us here, but he's certainly not being truthful. I've already gone through and found quotes to prove it before here. Adding on to the linked post, the way Vincent and Porter are talking to discuss Porter's joining of the clan and how William treated him sounds a whole heck of a lot like Porter joined the Solaires before Vincent did, which only further supports my points there. Ughhh I was in the middle of researching for a different analysis post for other characters; I don't want to be distracted by writing up what I think their fight should have been about. It's almost worse that I don't like him because I keep thinking about how much I should like him and what it would take for me to support him wholeheartedly, flaws and all.

To cap it all off, this subplot has been wonderful so far. I'm happy that someone spelled out all the dirty little secrets for Vincent/Lovely/Us, because my head was starting to spin keeping everything straight and digging up the tiniest insinuations and turning into the Pepe Silvia meme. I know it's not over yet, but I think the evening is starting to wind down for the characters and I'm so glad that it is because the stress and intensity of it all is killing me. I know that this is probably the starting point for more developments later (what is Sweetheart gonna do after all of this in their official department capacity? is any of this going to put David in a rough spot politically? though Sam and Darlin ran into Alexis they didn't really get the chance to weigh in on the whole, y'know, state-sanctioned double murder? where are we going with that little teaser about Quinn having friends in high places? where's Treasure in all of this? Porter's ominous words about Close Knit planning another Inversion-level event??) I'm hoping there's gonna be a bit of a breather. Kudos Mr. Redacted, and thank you.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Erica pov of chapter 16; new love is in the air!

[A love larger than life]

There was nothing left for me in the mansion; I was so sure of it.  However, shortly after finishing a wonderful breakfast made by the box I’d come up with for her, Alexis dug through the rubble regardless.  I was about to tell her to just leave it alone, when I noticed the large wooden dresser she’d cast to the side, still intact.  “Hey, wait!" I called, "That’s my dresser!”  I know that must’ve been obvious, but I was so shocked to see it in one piece.  Alexis pulled away from the cliffside to let me across.  Once I got over, I yanked the drawers open wide.  Inside, a few sets of old clothes sat pristinely untouched.  

“Finally!” I cried out, holding up one of my shirts, “I can wear my own clothes!”  Oh how badly I’d missed wearing decent things!  Sure, I was given plenty of options in the hundreds of empty houses left in all the subdivisions that surrounded the cliff, but they were unnerving, really.  I could never quite shake the unease of wearing a person’s clothes who may or may not be getting tortured somewhere by some insane giants from the portals.

Putting together a decent outfit from the items in the drawer, I clambered back across the rubble to a small part of my house that was still standing.  “Ok, I take back what I said.  Maybe there are some useful things in here,” I noted as I ducked behind the single wall to change.

Once I’d finished, I stepped out from behind the rubble to examine myself.  “Damn, I haven’t worn this in forever.  Probably because I stashed it in there,” I said, gesturing to the dresser.  After that miraculous find, I helped Alexis dig through the rest of the junk left from the hazmat giants’ destructive pillaging.  I couldn’t do much with the bigger pieces of rubble, but Alexis was happy to push them aside for me.  With a few hours of searching, we collected a fair amount of my things that I’d assumed had long been lost.  Most of the items I was glad to see; they reminded me of my life before all of this, when things were more normal.  However, after Alexis cast aside one piece of rubble in particular, I recoiled away from what I’d found underneath.  “Oh, it’s.. that,” I addressed it in disgust.  

The safe where my infinite supply of money had been stored sat eerily pristine beside the rest of the torn up pieces of my house.  This was taking me on a trip a bit too far down memory lane — all the way back to the months Alexis had controlled me.  Curiosity hummed in the back of my mind, wondering how much money was still left.  But I had to remind myself that it didn’t matter.  Money’s basically worthless now, which is a crazy notion in itself.  Why would I even need to buy stuff anyway?  Alexis and I go out and sort through all the free things left in houses all the time.

Alexis and I both glanced warily at each other, immediately turning away as our gazes briefly met.  “I.. should get rid of that,” Alexis stated nervously, reaching down to snatch the safe from the rubble in front of me.  I stood in silence, recalling all the days I spent wondering if I would ever have my freedom back.  “You seemed so horrible back then,” I said quietly.  “I thought you were some invisible being from another dimension, playing god with creatures beneath yourself, using me like a character in a game to interact with my world.  Seems silly, huh?” I laughed bitterly.  “I really believed I’d never have control over my own body again.”  

Alexis hadn’t meant to torture me; she was only trying to give me her slightly twisted version of a normal life after watching me royaly fuck mine up a few different times.  She’d swore left right and center that she’d never do it again, so I wasn’t worried I’d ever end up like that.  In fact, Alexis would probably tear apart any giant who even tried to control me.  A lot had changed in those four years she was gone.  To think there was a time I was afraid of her — just yesterday I kissed her, and she kissed me!  And wow did it feel good!

I shook off the memories and turned back to Alexis.  Her cheerful expression had fallen into a look of despair.  I could only imagine the internal struggle Alexis constantly had to face, always haunted by her past mistakes.  Once she dared to look at me again, I held out my hands, palm up.  This was our signal to call the other person closer.  Alexis would offer me her hand so I could step onto it, and I would offer up my hands as a gesture for her to get more level with me.  If I was lucky, she would place her chin squarely in my upturned palms — close enough I could feel the breath on her lips.

Hesitantly, Alexis stepped forward, resting her chin on the lawn in front of me to get closer to my height.  “You weren’t the first person to make me feel like that,” I told her once she settled.  It was true.  During my horrific time with John and the others, I’d had about as little control over my body as I had while being actually controlled by her.

“However,” I added, “you were the first to apologize for it.”  Alexis stilled as I stepped up to her, eyes darting away from me and back again.  When we first befriended eachother, I’d thought that she was always distancing herself from me to stop us from getting too attached to one another — that way she could freely leave me without too much guilt.  However, over the last few weeks, I've come to realize her hesitation stemmed from an awful fear that she might hurt me in some way or another if she even physically came too close to me.  

So, if Alexis wouldn't fill the space between us — which was almost always the case — I made it my job to do so instead.  Closing my eyes, I took the final step forward and leaned against her trustingly, my forehead coming to rest on her brow.  “Thank you,” I whispered.  My voice was so quiet, I feared Alexis might not hear it.  “for letting me rely on you.  Stay with me, please.  Y- You probably want to go home by now, but I’m not ready for you to leave yet.”  

God, why can’t she stay here with me?  Or, better yet: why can’t we just go back to the way things used to be?  Before our little picnic by the lake that ended up driving us so far apart?  However, Alexis had warned me not to keep thoughts like that in my head.  She wants me- needs me to be here, not in the past.  If she’s ever going to get home, I have to be ready to take care of myself without her.  The thought of being without her now that I found out she loved me was cruel.  It practically tears out my heart whenever I think of it.

I took a shuddering breath as Alexis pulled away from me.  Moments later, her lips pressed lightly into the left side of my face.  Warm ecstasy spread through me from the spot where her very large kiss covered my head.  I still can’t believe she loves me.

“I wouldn't trade your company for the world, Erica,” Alexis told me lovingly.  I blushed, absentmindedly brushing my hand over the place where her lips touched my skin.  Before Alexis could retreat back over the cliffside, I rushed forward and hugged a few of her fingers in a strange embrace.  It’s unbelievable that this was how much of her I could hold — only a few fingers.

Alexis seemed a bit shocked at first, but she soon came around to the odd gesture.  The rest of her digits slowly folded in around me, creating a soft all-encompassing embrace.  Screw a normal hug; this was infinitely better.  My eyes teared up and I nearly gave in to the temptation to pull myself further into her hand.  I so badly wanted to curl up and let her hold me, but it just wasn't the time.  I have bigger plans on my mind.

Pushing away Alexis' fingers, I stepped off to the side of her hand just slightly as I quickly brushed the tears from my eyes.  "I'll finish sorting this out," I said once I composed myself, nodding at the lopsided pile of my things that we'd collected.  "But once I'm done I'd like to practice balancing myself on your shoulder."  The very second I announced my plan, Alexis looked ready to shoot it down with something along the lines of 'Erica, it's too dangerous, you could fall'.  

Before she could deny me, I held up a hand to silence her.  "Don't ruin the mood," I chided, "Last night you promised me I could try it again.  How am I going to get better if I don't practice?"  I watched Alexis' expression shift in thought while hopefully awaiting some sort of approval of my antics.  In the grand scheme of things, I understand why Alexis would be so protective of me.  I mean, I have been kidnapped twice now.  Add on the fact that she has feelings for me, making her doubly protective of me.  I'm certainly not complaining, though.  I need someone like that in my life; I've always needed someone like that — someone who could stop me from making bad decisions before it was too late.  Or just.. stop bad things from happening to me, period.

I began sorting through the pile of my things as Alexis still mulled over my request, clearly lost in thought.  Though all of these items brought back pleasant memories, some of them were a bit annoying.  Like my cell phone charger, for instance.  My phone is long gone — god knows where that thing is — but my stupid charger was still miraculously unaffected by the damage inflicted on my house.  I quickly got bored messing around with my stuff and wandered back over to the cliffside where Alexis stood.  I tried to be nonchalant about it, but I did really want to ride on her shoulder.  It's such a neat vantage point — almost like I’m a giant too — and I feel so much closer to her sitting there.  

Finally, Alexis lowered her hand to the lawn where I stood.  I could tell by the cute little expression on her face that she'd given in to my silent begging.  "You're adorable," I whispered under my breath as I climbed up and into her hand.  She obviously didn't hear me; she never did.  Alexis was far too big to ever hear me whispering to myself, which is probably a good thing.  I've occasionally made fun of her under my breath simply because I know she can't hear me.

"Hold on tighter this time, alright?" Alexis asked as she lifted me up to her shoulder, "I don't want you to fall over backwards like you did yesterday."  I nodded freverently, excited to get going.  "I know, I will."  Staying true to her protective ways, Alexis began walking agonizingly slowly.  “Come on!  You went faster than this yesterday!” I complained.  “Yeah, and you also fell off yesterday.”  I hate it when she’s right, but she is right.  However, after a few walkarounds of proof that I could handle that speed just fine, Alexis did steadily pick up the pace.  Over the next few days, we practiced at a faster and faster speed until I could sit comfortably on her shoulder with her normal gait.

Surprisingly, there were very few mishaps.  Most of the time I managed to right myself before I fell too far.  Only once did I completely fall off of Alexis, and it was partially her fault.  She’d pointed out how the creepy ruined water tower in the distance kinda looked like a satellite crashed to Earth.  I had to lean out fairly far to see it around Alexis’ neck, which was a bit too far past where I was safe from falling.  

One moment I was clinging to her shoulder, the next I was free-falling through the air, plummeting to the ground far below.  I barely had time to cry out before I was firmly pressed between two surfaces, both of which were pleasantly warm and soft.  Knowing that Alexis had caught me, I took a brief moment to calm myself down.  I assumed I’d been pinned between Alexis’ hands, so I hugged myself deeper into the surface below me, assuring my racing mind that I was safely in her grasp.  However, once I was nestled into her skin, I realized the surface was a lot more plush than it usually was.  Wait.. is this clothing material?

It took me a few moments to figure out what had happened.  Alexis had quickly pinned me between one of her hands and her chest to catch me, pressing me firmly onto one of her breasts.  I immediately flushed deep red as I realized what I’d just snuggled into.  Trying not to be too conspicuous, I pushed myself away from her slightly, only blushing harder as I watched my hands sink into her skin.  Seconds later, I fell backwards onto Alexis’ outstretched palm.  She’d finally released me.  

I sat dumbfounded in her hand as she scolded me to be more careful.  Her words were lost in my own thoughts.  I’ve never been held that close to her before.  I stood and stepped carefully over to Alexis’s chest again, placing a single hand over the place I’d been moments before.  I barely even processed what I was doing.  I was too mesmerized by the rhythm of Alexis’ heartbeat, mixed with the offbeat swish of air rushing to her lungs.  It was a strange sensation, feeling the thundering of her heartbeat beneath my fingers as her chest rose and fell with each breath.  This was proof that she wasn’t some impossible being, but rather one gigantic living thing.  It’s insane how impossible that seems.

Suddenly, I became aware of what I was doing.  “Your heart’s beating really fast,” I said awkwardly, pulling my hand back in embarrassment, “I can feel it, it.. sounds.. nice.”  What are you acting so embarrassed for? I internally scolded myself.  Do you want her to realize that you enjoyed snuggling up to her like that?!  A part of me responded with a ready ‘yes’, but I turned away and played it off as best I could.  Though she had confessed she liked me, I didn’t think Alexis was quite ready for that kind of intimacy yet.

I waved a hand nonchalantly at the cliffside where my house used to be.  “I’m ready to go back now.  I- I think that’s enough practice for today.”  Alexis gave me a curious look, but said nothing and headed for home.  The moment we got back to the remains of my house, I quickly changed the subject by complaining about my dirty clothes.  Alexis and I came up with a plan to visit the one house in the subdivision that still had power.  Hopefully the washing machine actually still works.

Later we ate dinner together, and all traces of my awkwardness had disappeared.  While I finished my meal, I watched Alexis patrol the abandoned neighborhood for signs of her own kind.  I'd told her how upset I was about them.  Could they control me like Alexis could?  She was adamant that it wasn't possible, but she couldn't know that for certain.  

Once she finished her search, Alexis came to rest on the cliffside to my right.  I absentmindedly drew a bit closer to her, rattled by the thought of the hazmat giants taking over my world.  Alexis must've noticed me move closer, because she shifted to the side, letting her head rest on the top of the cliff, level with me.  I know her well enough that this was a silent ask for me to move closer.  Normally, Alexis won't get too close to me thanks to the fear I may or may not have vested in her by scaring her off four years ago.  However, on occasion, she'd offer herself over to me.  My favorite times spent with her often come from these moments, where she would let me get as close to her as I dared.

I stood suddenly as a brilliant idea struck me.  Striding up to the place where she settled down, I lay back on the side of Alexis' face, sinking into her soft cheek.  The feeling was akin to sitting on a heated bean bag chair.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially since the nights were getting slightly colder every day.  I was distracted from her by the flickering of lights out in the yard.  For the briefest of moments, I thought they’d come from flashlights further down the road and gasped, causing Alexis to tense beneath me.  However, they were only fireflies.  I pointed them out to Alexis to put her back at ease.

In slight amusement, I watched her try, and fail, to catch the little bugs.  They were tiny compared to me.  I could barely imagine how small they’d be to Alexis, and how impossible they would be for her to catch.  She sighed longingly; I stood up, slightly concerned.  Alexis began a small story about her childhood — how much she loved catching them when she was younger.  Aww, now she’s literally too big to catch them.  Though, I’m not.

Moments later, I was out in my old front yard, stepping through the dark to capture the tiny floating lights, which mostly didn’t seem to care that they were being taken.  When I’d caught a few of them, I returned to Alexis with a smug smile.  “I got you something,” I told her nonchalantly.  “What is it?”  Her voice sounded curious, but I know she already knew the answer.  She’d watched me gather the little bugs.  “Hold out your hand and find out,” I replied, playing along.  

My heart skipped a beat as her right hand slid up to me, resting the tips of her fingers on the bottom of my cupped hands.  For a moment, it was jarring.  I mean, she can hold me captive between her palms just like the little fireflies crawling around in mine.  Despite her obvious ‘dangers’, the risk of befriending, then loving, her came with too many benefits for me not to risk it.

With the gentleness I’d want her to use with me, I released the fireflies into her cupped hand.  They drifted through the space between her fingers for a moment before floating up into the night.  Alexis’ look of pure awe reflected their light as they left, and I watched her as pride swelled in my chest.  I did that.  I made her so happy!   Then her pupils darted to me.  Her look softened with a small smile that made me giddy under her loving gaze.  Using a gentle grip I hadn’t even experienced from someone my own height, Alexis brought my hands into hers, pressing them softly between two of her fingers.

“Thank you.  I have something for you, too.”  God, how’d her voice get so hot all of a sudden?  Alexis leaned over the cliffside, her face coming up beside mine as lips longer than my forearms slid softly against my cheek, drifting down over my neck.  I froze for the briefest moment — my mind overwhelmed by everything.  Then, I practically melted against her, pressing deep kisses into her bottom lip.  I tried to give more, but she didn’t even move.  Was I not enough?  Or was it another one of Alexis’ moments where she somehow believed that she would be too dangerous for me?  Likely, it was the latter.

Sighing with loving annoyance, I stepped away from her just slightly, and her eyes fluttered open.  “I- I don’t want to sound greedy,” I began quietly, “but can I have a bit more?  It’s so.. big.  But I can tell you’re holding back.”  Her confused look soured into confliction.  “I don’t want to hurt you.”  I knew it.  She’s holding back to keep me ‘safe’ from herself.  When will she learn that she’s the safeguard, not the danger?  Shaking my head pityingly, I reached for her chin, which rose just below my face while she spoke.  “You won’t,” I told her sternly.

I worried that she might never want to be too intimate with me — fearing for my safety and whatnot.  However, she exhaled a slight chuckle.  “It’ll cost you extra.”  I was midway through rolling my eyes in exasperation when my chin was gently raised by a finger so big it took up the entire space of my neck.  Irrational, or actually, rational fear lit up my veins.  Any sane person would run or at least struggle feeling their throat pressed against something so heavy.  But I practically craved it.  

Alexis bent down over me.  Her lips were still slightly parted when I shifted up to kiss her.  My heart raced wildly in my chest as a tongue wider than my head slid over my lips.  I inadvertently made a small noise and pulled myself closer, sloppily kissing the gigantic slick muscle.  I know she’s big but holy shit, she’s big.  Her tongue slid into my mouth while I kissed her.  Because of its sheer size, all I could do was sit there and take it as Alexis worked to love me.  My jaw began throbbing as I opened it wide, disbelieving that only the very tip of her tongue was somehow all it took to make this happen to me.  Only for a second did I find myself frightened that my jaw would break loose, but then Alexis pulled away for a breath of air and I fell backwards, gasping for breath.

Saliva dripped off my face in globs that somehow made me queasy and horny at the same time.  “That was-”  I had to take another breath mid-sentence, still not fully recovered.  “That was a really good gift.  Mine kinda sucks in comparison,” I chuckled.  Alexis brushed a finger slowly down my arm before reaching out with a bit of the fabric of her shirt to wipe away the stuff left on my face.  If only we could go to bed together.  We do, but I always have to leave because she might crush me if I sleep with her.   …but what if I don’t sleep with all of her?

The moment Alexis was done cleaning me off, I ran to my sleeping bag.  Before she could take back her hand, I grabbed her pinky and dove into bed with it tucked to my chest.  I slid around it almost protectively, silently pleading with her not to take it back as I got comfortable with it.  The single finger was nearly the same size as me, and I treated it as if it were all of her, twinning it slowly between my arms and legs, finally resting my head on its side.  

After ensuring she couldn’t get out of my grasp, I glanced up at her.  Alexis stared down at me in shock, and I suddenly got the notion of how strange it all must look and feel to her.  “I- I know it’s not normal, but I uhh.. don’t think anything between us will be.  Not that that’s a bad thing!” I added, catching myself.  Shit, she’s going to think I’m weird, or.. or she’ll think I don’t like it!

“You can have your hand back if you want-”  I began to back off her, but Alexis quickly shook her head.  “Keep it,” she replied, moving her finger so it fit snugly against my chest.  “At least until you fall asleep.”  I felt as if I’d burst from joy as she curled up on the cliffside right beside me, gently pulling my sleeping bag closer until it was only a foot away from her chest.  The rumble of her voice was all-encompassing as she spoke, making me shiver.

“I don’t care what we have, as long as we have it together.  I’m so glad you confessed.  It was probably hard for you.  I don’t think I ever would’ve said anything if it weren’t for that.”  “Why?” I joked, “Were you scared of me?”  Alexis’ laugh sounded incredulous, and I frowned.  Is it really that impossible for you to be scared of me?  Haven’t you been scared of me? 

“Don’t take that the wrong way,” she assured me gently, “but it was the opposite; I was worried you would be afraid of me.  I didn’t want to end up forcing you into something you weren’t ready for or didn’t want… again.  I do love you, Erica.  I never want you to feel helpless against me.  Not ever.”

Oh Alexis.  My eyes began to tear up the moment her rumbly soft voice had told me she loved me.  The rumble in her voice only grew stronger as she spoke, more seriousness placed behind it.  “If you ever feel like that, tell me, ok?  I’ll stop whatever I’m doing.  I promise.”  Giddy with joy, I sprung out of bed and raced over to Alexis, hugging her as best as I could with her being so much bigger than me.  I pulled myself into the fabric of her shirt, breathing in her mostly earthy scent.  

A quiet thanks escaped my lips.  “God, it’s so nice to have someone I can trust again.”  I don’t think I’d been properly hugged in a long time — unless you count our reunion in the city while I was drugged up on who-knows-what.  Suddenly, I felt something press lightly against the backs of my legs.  Realizing it was Alexis’ cupped hand, I let myself lean backwards, tucking my legs up into her palm.

Again it struck me just how massive she was.  Her grip was all-encompassing as her fingers slid around me, tucking me against her chest.  I snuggled deeply between them, wholly uncertain of what to even do with such an overwhelming mixture of relief and comfort.  I pressed her fingers tightly against me, as if the pressure would calm away such a giddy feeling.  Their textured pads slid down my legs and across my body, holding me tight.

Alexis’ heartbeat sounded so close too — just like earlier.  Only, instead of the quick pulsing throb of her calming down from near disaster, it was slow and rhythmic and loud, but in a weirdly quiet way.  The sound itself was soft and muffled, but the sheer scale of it made my bones rattle.  I would listen to it the rest of my life if I could.

There was something indescribably comforting in the way she could hold all of me in the palm of her hand.  It was terrifying at first, but now it just makes me feel cared for in a way I never really have before.  Confessing my feelings for Alexis had been a long-debated internal argument that went on from the moment I realized she’d actually returned, not just in my desperate imagination.  I don't doubt for a moment that I made the right decision.

Past her fingertips, I watched Alexis’ expression.  It flickered in a myriad of miniscule ways that you could never have noticed unless a person’s face were so much bigger than your own.  Her loving gaze grew into a little lopsided smile, which grew into a wide grin.  Heat crept across my cheeks seeing her look at me like that.  It suddenly felt a lot warmer than it did a few moments ago.  I stifled a nervous laugh, “You look so happy for once.”  Stretching out of her grip, I tried to shake off the flustered warmth.  “I am happy.  Are you?”  I nodded without a second’s hesitation.  “Never been happier,” I told her confidently.  “You think we can make things work this time?  I’m feeling really good about all this, which.. isn’t actually normal for me.”

I know what ‘normal’ is supposed to be: love unconditionally.  Or maybe it’s just a pipe dream for someone like me.  Yet.. with Alexis it’s different.  She- She really does love me.  There was really a time I told myself this was impossible; now look at me.  I was lifted up steadily until I sat in front of her face.  Alexis rested her lips on me, just beginning to kiss me again, but I stopped her with a light shove.  “Just-”  I paused, trying to think of what to tell her — how to tell her.  “Stay like this.”  I let her lips fall back across my body again.  It felt heavenly — the texture, the plush surface. 

My giddy adrenaline spike crashed into a wave of tiredness, and I gently sank against her.  “I love you so much.”  The last thing I remember feeling before I fell asleep was the slight curve of a smile against my side before I couldn’t stay awake any longer.

[harkeepitreal]

I am like a lot of the fandom anxious, nervous, freaking out about 6.6 and what will happen to our Chenford. I am thinking I may wait to watch the episode until after I read reviews or see the updates here from all you lovely people. If I know they are still together then I go an watch but if not then I can walk away. Because I know if a break up happens this one will kill me. I have not loved a couple like this in such a long time. The last time I really shipped a couple this hard was in Younger Omg that break up, if it was not for my love of Sutton Foster I would have stopped watching. We need our Chenford support system to help guide through this. Here is hoping our babies work through this. Because it will be devastating to the fandom. I need to stop reading stupid reviews that are someone's pov. I just read one from Screenrant where the author was talking about how this season especially the last episode is foreshadowing a devastating break up. Why do I let these people get into my head? Oh yeah tons of ship Trauma. Looking at you Scandal, Arrow, Grey's Anatomy, Outlander (I still watch because it is one the best shows on TV), Bones, Castle, Younger, Sex and the City, Friends...the list goes on.

Maybe that is part of the reason I hate angst so much I just always think it will lead that direction. Although I do have to say ST Voy did help a little when Tom and B'elanna got together yes there was angst as there will be with a human and half human/half Klingon who tends to lean closer to the Klingon side. They showed that it is possible to put a couple together let them have their differences and work stuff out without breaking up. I think more shows are going this way now.

I remember reading an interview that Alexi said (take what he says lightly). God I wish I could remember the interview because I laughed and shook my head yes when he said it. He said something along the lines of if they did anything to Chenford that he knows the entire fandom will hunt him down and cause a riot. I also read I am not sure if it was here I think it was in the notes of a fanfic I loved that Eric had responded to someone not sure where that they will not break up. Not sure how true that is, not that I am denying what the awesome fanfic writer, wrote in their notes. But would he really spill something that big? Also read somewhere not sure FB or here that Melissa said that the season finale was going to be big for them. Again who knows how true that is. I don't have IG, Tik Tok, Instagram.

Sorry for the long post. I started watching the Rookie because I love Nathan but I have kept watching because of Chenford. My PTST (Post Traumatic Ship Trauma) is coming through and rearing it's ugly head. I am a literal person so unless it is said directly I tend to not believe it and even then I question. So here is hoping our babies stay together and work this out. Because otherwise I think I will be broken, and will probably stop watching.

Love to you all❤️❤️❤️

[guardian-angle22]

I read books! Sometimes, I remember to talk about books!

Here’s a roundup of some of my favorite things I read in 2023. I'll put half of this under a cut to save the timeline.

Middle Grade:

When Life Gives You Mangos by Kereen Getten - This is a sweet story about friendship, grief, and family set in a close knit community in Jamaica following a young girl who can't remember anything that happened the previous summer. I don't read middle grade often so I wasn't expecting to be on the edge of my seat during this book, but I sure was!

Garlic & the Vampire by Bree Paulson - An anthropomorphic village of vegetables - what more could you ask for? When the village learns a vampire moved into a nearby castle, they decide Garlic has to be the one to face him. A cute, wholesome graphic novel - and the sequel Garlic & the Witch was also lovely!

Nonfiction:

A Mind Spread Out on the Ground by Alicia Elliott - This is a collection of essays by an Indegenous author covering a wide range of topics including race, gentrification, parenthood, and mental illness. I annotated the shit out of this book... which is always a sign of a well loved read in my house.

Bad Blood by John Carreyrou - A fascinating account by the journalist from the Wall Street Journal who broke open the case against Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes. The entire story is absolutely bananas and made for a wild read.

Excellent on Audio:

How to Be Perfect by Michael Shur - If you watched and enjoyed The Good Place, this audiobook should be required listening. Pretty much everyone from the cast pops in at random times to narrate something. It was also just a great, thought-provoking book. I actually read this for a work book club and it prompted me to finally finish The Good Place. Most successful book club pick ever.

Finding Me by Viola Davis - She won a Grammy for the narration of this book (and earning her rightful place as an EGOT) and it was well deserved. I'm not usually one for celebrity memoirs, but Viola's life was incredibly interesting and her narration was amazing.

Thriller/Horror:

The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas - This is a Mexican, historical, gothic horror novel set after the Mexican War of Independence. It features a secluded, potentially haunted hacienda and a priest who might actually be a witch. Atmospheric vibes are peak here. Highly recommend listening to the spotify playlist the author made while you read!

No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole - The official blurb says "the gentrification of a Brooklyn neighborhood takes on a sinister new meaning" and that about sums it up. It also compares it to Get Out and that's a pretty good comp, in my opinion.

Poetry:

Artemis Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer - I'm not gonna lie, this poetry collection and the one in the series before it (Aphrodite Made Me Do It) were absolutely cover buys. The cover art is stunning! but luckily the inside is good too.

If My Body Could Speak by Blythe Baird - This collection deals a lot with the feminine experience, how we relate to our bodies and its traumas. Definitely check the trigger warnings for this collection first before picking it up.

Romance:

Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert - I'm not one to read a ton of romance books but I did enjoy a couple this year. This one was definitely the most explicit but also wholesome and something has to be said for being able to do both. Fun tropes include: fake dating & grumpy/sunshine.

Glitterland by Alexis Hall - While this is still a romance book at its core, it also deals heavily with depression. Fun tip with this book: definitely get the re-released edition with this cover because it has author annotation notes! It was very fun to read those at the end of every chapter.

Short & Quick Reads:

The Appendix by Liam Konemann - This is a very small little pocket book, part of the 404's Inklings collection. In it, Liam is reacting to transphobia he encounters through various media, but also discussing how he navigates being a gay trans man in today's culture.

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh - I think I would best describe this as a queer forest fairytale. I'm a sucker for any story that can transport me to a mythical forest and while this one clocks in at a little under 115 pages, it packed a good plant magic punch.

Misc Books I Couldn't Find a Category For:

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat - I never thought I would read this series, but I stumbled into the first one and then devoured the entire series in the span of 2 days. While I know the core of what people love about this is the love story... the political intrigue happening absolutely gripped me!

Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore - Another trope/plot device I love is time travel... or whatever weird timey wimey mess you would consider this: Oona faints after she's about to turn nineteen and awakens 32 years in the future in her 51 year old body. She learns that after each year completes, she'll leap to another age at random. It's as messy and complicated as it sounds but never a dull moment.

[raleighcarreras]

it's all so incredibly loud

Part 6: there's a flood coming to sweep us away

Pairing: wanda maximoff x black!fem!reader

Rating: M (sexual content, language)

Warnings: sex, not very descriptive but still evident, vaginal fingering (r receiving), pietro is the best wing man ever, he's going to make sure his sister gets laid or die trying

Wrd Cnt: 1.9k?

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Notes: one more chapter (unless i decide on an epilogue) to go! The song is teenage dream but specifically the glee version (stop looking at me like that) 18+ only im so serious

"I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight."

You had gotten maybe an hour of sleep all night. First, the fiasco with the boys, and then with Wanda less than a foot away from you, relaxation was hard to come by.

You told her you needed her with you to calm down, and in all honesty, you thought you were telling the truth. But the opposite had occured. As soon as you heard her soft breathy snorts of air, you were riddled with energy.

Sleep didn't find you until the 10 O'clock hour in the morning. After Pietro came into the room with Alexis hanging off of his hip, chewing on his shirt. He told you he'd take the boys out to a 24 hour arcade he saw during his 6 am run. Promising to feed them, give them a stern Uncle Talk (TM), and thus giving you space to rest for as long as he could keep their attention.

You whispered a small, grateful 'Thank you' and Wanda grunted out something unintelligible. Otherwise, she had been dead to the world all night and well into the morning.

Wanda slept like she hadn't slept in months. And you did too, for an hour.

At 11: 06, you awoke to an arm tightening around your waist. Wanda also awoke to an arm tightening around your waist.

She tried to peel away from you, "Shit, Y/N. I'm sorry. Force of habit I guess."

You stopped her with a grip onto her wrist that presented itself more forceful than you intended, "No don't. Please."

Wanda replaced her arm, "Ok. I'm not going anywhere."

You had no business feeling this vulnerable. No business feeling like your ex-wife was the only thing anchoring you to the ground so you wouldn't float away into the stratosphere.

And yet...

That's exactly how you felt.

You felt like you needed to roll over and bury your face into Wanda's neck or else you would lose your mind. So, you did. And Wanda let you because she understood. She just got you.

You reveled in it.

If Wanda hadn't started speaking you would have gotten your second hour of sleep.

"Are you okay?"

And of all the things she could have asked, she chose something hard. You would have been better off with a calculus word problem.

You shrugged, "No. Yes. I don't know. I just feel, y'know?"

"Yes. I do. I just feel all the time."

"How do you deal with it?"

You could feel Wanda's eyelashes flutter on the side of your forehead, "Well, lately? By talking about it. Normally, figuring out why I feel like that helps a lot."

Could you tell Wanda why you felt the way you felt? Could you tell her how your stubbornness was leading to your children thinking they were a burden? Could you tell her that in some ass backwards turn of events it was you who dreaded when she had to leave, and prayed for her return?

Could you tell her that Pietro took the boys out to the arcade so they didn't get the wrong idea seeing the two of you in the same bed, and now it seemed he should have taken you too because you were getting the wrong idea seeing the two of you in the same bed?

"I feel-I feel like I should have gone to therapy too."

Wanda laughed at that, "Don't go to Dr. Raynor. She just looks at you until you realize what you just said was stupid."

But you don't laugh, "I feel like I missed you. I feel like I missed this... being with you. I feel like I shouldn't feel those things. But I also feel like it doesn't matter if I shouldn't because I already do."

Wanda shrugged you away from her side so she could look at you better. The two of you mirroring each other on your sides.

"Can I tell you something?"

You nodded with a look of concern, "You can tell me anything." And you've meant that for years. You've never stopped.

"When I went off the deep end and Strange helped me come back to myself, and I said I'd never use my powers again unless it was the last resort...that flipped something in me. I had just lost my family and then I couldn't use the tools I was gifted to protect them if it ever happened again..."

Tears crawled slowly out of the corners of Wanda's eyes but she didn't bother swiping them away and neither did you.

"...that ruined me. Last night was the first time I've slept throughout the night in a very long time."

You grabbed at Wanda's face, your thumbs sliding over her cheekbones and smearing tear tracks in their wake, "Wanda, why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to seem weak. I didn't want you to worry about my problems. Yes, I realize how stupid that sounds now."

"We're a team, you know that, right?"

"I do, I just got a little lost somewhere in there."

"Good."

You assume that the fact that you can't tell who leans in first, probably insinuates that you both do at the same time.

But it ultimately doesn't matter when your lips touch for the first time in months, and as your hand trails down from her face to fist into her T-shirt, you realize just how lost you had been too.

You're still not too keen on telling her how her bottom lip between your own felt like coming home. And that her solid grip on your barely covered waist practically had you purring.

You sure as hell weren't going to tell her the last time you had been touched this way was by Sharon all those weeks ago and it didn't feel even a bit like this at all.

Though, when she repositions you onto your back to kiss at that spot below your ear, and you moan breathily into hers, you have a feeling she somehow knows.

Wanda's hand slithers up to your chest, raising your shirt up as it goes. Eventually, Wanda gets tired of the garment and slips it easily over your head. Her own following suit soon after.

Her hand tweaked at a nipple, smiling at your squeak of a response, "You're beautiful."

Another unoccupied hand trailed over your stomach before stopping at the hem of your shorts and underwear.

You've got the sudden urge to scream, maybe even beg, "Wanda...please."

"Are you sure?"

What about any of your body language in that current moment said 'unsure'?

"I'm sure. Touch me."

It's not make-up sex that you're having. At least, not really. Not...yet. It's more of 'thank god you're here with me and not letting me slip into a state of mortal peril' sex. Which is, of course, the next best thing.

When Wanda does finally slip underneath your thin garments, and the pads of her fingers trace delicately over your center, you think you might cry.

Whether it be from relief or some other feeling is the least of your worries at the moment.

In some way, you feel bad for Wanda, there's no way she doesn't feel your nails currently digging into her arm, but judging from the glimpse you get every time you manage to pry your eyes open, she seems pretty pleased with herself despite any pain she may be feeling.

The worst part? She's not even inside of you yet.

You're losing your mind over her fingers circling your clit and slipping, sliding over your lips. And you're drenched. Dripping some might even say.

"You're soaked, Detka..." Is what Wanda ends up whispering over your parted mouth. And you have no choice but to cosign.

You could feel her fingertips teasing at your entrance and your chest heaved. It took everything in you not to buck your hips to speed the process along. Only because you know Wanda. You know she likes to bask in your impatience. In your neediness. You know she likes it when you beg.

And you can't find it in you to do anything but.

"Wands, please fuck me."

She's leaning over you now. She had forgone general confidence and went straight to cocky, for lack of a better word. There's no need to pretend like you don't like it.

"Open your eyes." A simple request, it would seem. But it was easier said than done.

Soon, you manage to open your eyes, unfocused as they are. You stare back at Wanda with a bite to your lip and a strain to your neck.

"Say it again."

The words dribble from your lips like milk down a chin, "Wanda, please fuck me. I need-"

Your expletives cut off in exchange for a sharp inhale of breath.

Her fingers slipped into you easily, your resulting moan is the loudest one yet and just as sinful as your whimpers.

Wanda eyed you through her eyelashes, most of your energy was being used to stare back at her.

Her fingers rutted out, then back in. Pumping into you with enough force for your breath to hitch in rhythm.

You whimpered and panted, urging Wanda to pick up the pace. And she happily obliged.

"You look so gorgeous like this." The praise fluttering throught your ear and wrapped softly around your chest.

The hand that wasn't permanently glued to Wanda's poor bicep, reached for her neck, bringing her down into a deliriously arousing kiss.

She pumped into you, as firmly as your underwear allowed. Your bud caught against her palm. It was almost too much for you.

Your hips rolled against her hand, moans increasing in pitch and volume until Wanda had no choice but to muffle the sound with her lips again.

"God...Wanda!"

The kids may be gone, but you did still have neighbors.

It's not much longer after that you let go into Wanda's hand. Your legs trembling and your mouth falling open in a silent scream.

Wanda brought you down softly. Her hand on your waist to keep you from moving.

"But-"

"I'm good. Get some rest. I know you didn't sleep. I thought you would pass out somewhere in the middle of that, if I'm being honest."

You pouted and playfully swatted at her shoulder, "You snore and I got unused to it."

"That's not why you didn't sleep."

You bit the inside of your cheek, "It's not. I find your hog calling cute for some reason."

Wanda ignored the insistence that she snored, "What kept you awake?"

You weren't exactly sure what to say. The simple answer; you had been thinking all night. Too much and too little.

The complicated answer; you missed your fucking wife. And then, she was right there next to you and you didn't know what to feel. You didn't know if you wanted her back permanently or just needed the temporary comfort.

There was still a big question about this entire situation that you had yet to receive an answer to, and maybe then you could begin to figure things out.

"It's my turn to tell you something." You breathed out softly.

"Tell me everything."

You swallowed around the metaphorical lump obstructing your throat, "When I found out about...y'know....I couldn't help but think it was my fault, it was something I did to push you away. I thought that, and even though I didn't know what it was, I still tried to fix it, to fix me. And, that wasn't good...I-I just need to know if it was something I did."

"No. No, it was never you. After Strange, I guess I just felt like I wasn't enough. Like I couldn't be enough. And instead of talking to you about that like a normal person, I got so drunk I couldn't see straight and went home with someone who couldnt either. Fuck, I am so sorry I made you feel like that. I promise it was never you. You're perfect."

Your tears soak into the skin of Wanda's neck. Marking her in a way you've never done.

The silence that results is somewhere between comfortable and not, but Wanda breaks it anyway.

"Go on a date with me."

You hum, that time you really were seconds from passing out, "A date?"

"Yes. A date. I think we've changed a lot and should probably reintroduce ourselves to each other."

You nodded slowly, "Okay. You have to find a babysitter though and it can't be Pietro because he needs a babysitter too most days. I have a feeling he let Alexis chew his shirt right off his body today."

"Deal."

Another bout of silence. This time, you're the one who breaks it.

"Fuck, we're going to need so much therapy."

Wanda laughs.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." And you do. You know she is.

Eventually, you do fall asleep, and right before Pietro and the kids get home, Wanda slips out of your room into the livingroom. Making it look like she was there the entire morning.

[seekerbr]

So, a while back i wrote some notes for a fanfic idea that I had, about Kaiba adopting Jaden when he was very little; there is a lot of fanart about it and a few fanfics too, but a lot of them focused on ships i don't care a lot about so i wanted to write my own take on it... the only problem being that i haven't watched a lot of GX yet, so I didn't feel that confident on writing it, also don't really have a lot of free time.

So i'm posting my notes on it here! Maybe i finish it someday, i don't know, but here it is:

Plot: Jaden Yuki is actually Seto Kaiba’s adopted son, probably named Jaden Kaiba. His biological parents died when he was very young, and Kaiba at the time wanted to adopt a child (he would not admit it out loud, but he was feeling a bit lonely after Mokuba grew up and started to study a lot more and go out with friends, and so decided to adopt someone).

His personality is still pretty similar to the original, very cheery, lazy and childish, but a little smarter since he studied a lot more when he was younger (not a lot though…).

His relationship with his father is a little… complicated. His father clearly loves him, and wants to protect Jaden of any problem that could happen. Jaden also loves his father, and thinks that he is super cool and talented. But Kaiba can be quite clueless about people’s emotions and needs sometimes, and Jaden is pretty reckless and energetic in a way that frustrates his father quite often.

He also wants him to inherit KaibaCorp one day, something that Jaden really does not want to do (he finds this kind of job very boring) and instead wants to become a professional duelist, and become the next king of games. I imagine that the stuff with Yubel happening with him during his childhood too, and I can’t imagine that Seto would want him to spend a lot of his time dueling after all that.

He met Yugi and friends quite a few times, usually on his birthdays. Kaiba did not invite them, of course, but Mokuba wanted the closest thing he had to friends to meet his son. Jaden loves Joey and Yugi, and imitates them a lot, something that annoys his father quite a bit.

(BTW, Yugi has retired from dueling, and now works making games and in his grandfather’s gameshop. He works for KaibaCorp, and can give advice to Kaiba and Mokuba on how to deal with some of Jaden’s emotions sometimes.)

Besides Yugi’s friends, he also probably met Pegasus before (though I doubt that his father ever told him about the bad things he did in the past), as well as Zigfried and Chazz’s brothers. In fact he probably met Chazz when he was younger, but he would not recognize Jaden now.

That’s because Jaden would not be recognizable as Kaiba’s son for the average person; for one, Kaiba decided to not put the spotlight on his son a lot, especially after his childhood, mostly by the insistence of Mokuba to give him a better life as a teen and also stop him from getting kidnapped a lot. He also usually changes Jaden’s hair with gel when they are together, so people won't really know him by his natural “Kuriboh hair” look.

He ends up going to Duel Academy after fighting with his father about his future, with him initially not wanting his son to go; he creates a fake last name (Yuki, inspired by Yugi) and never tells his friends, other students or teachers about the fact that Seto Kaiba is his father (maybe Shepard knows about it, Crowler definitely does not); his father also does not know initially, but Jaden tells him pretty early on and he begrudgingly accepts it. He calls his father on the phone sometimes, probably lies about being in Obelisk Blue. (maybe his father learns the truth later on, won't tell Jaden though.) 

That means that when he helps people with their family problems (Syrus, Chumley, Chazz, Alexis… a lot of people actually) it feels very strange for him; he does not know how to solve the problems with his own father, and just wants to run away from his problems with him.

Eventually i guess Kaiba would finally visit his own school and finally discuss things with Jaden face to face, probably the two would fight about his choices for his future and the fact he's in Slifer. Jaden's friends would probaby be shocked to say the least

[alexithykia]

Grass, poison, bug and ghost for the ask game!! Whichever ones you'd like hehe

you- you left so many waaah !! dis is gon take mi a while - i decided 2 give one 4 each of these !! it wld be too long otherwise (꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)

you’re going on a picnic with your f/o! what are you packing for the trip and what does the scenery look like?

♡ sunexi ꒰ˆ◞⸝⸝◟ˆ ꒱੭ﾞ

oh oh oh oh !! picnic with sunday !! always packing fresh baked goods i make; he loves the croissants i make as long as i pack jam - i try making that too but it’s still work in progress… he’s patient !! and i also pack my fave fruits !! we also go to a pretty lake on sunny days so that i can watch the birds ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა look at the photo he took at our last picnic !!

“photography isn’t my strong suit but it’s easy to entertain alexi whenever there’s birds around. they’re symbolic to her so i’ll always provide her a chance to sit and talk to me about them.”

who’s the better caretaker in your relationship and how do you help each other when one of you is sick?

♡ lexipaz ꒰ˆ◞⸝⸝◟ˆ ꒱੭ﾞ

topaz is definitely a better caretaker than me… she’s usually overwhelmed by paperwork but she’ll always rearrange her schedule when i’m ill ໒꒰ྀི˶ ◞ ˕ ◟˶꒱ྀི১ it means a lot but i wish she wouldn’t !! work is sososo important… when she’s ill i have to stop her from working - i swear she’ll overwork to death… but i make her lots of food !! soup, stews, cups of tea… i always have to make a little dish for numby too !! he cuddles us when we’re ill hehe.

“so that’s why numby gained weight so suddenly… alexi.”

…oops… (｡•́︿•̀｡)

how do you comfort one another when you get scared? is there any teasing involved?

♡ avenlexi ꒰ˆ◞⸝⸝◟ˆ ꒱੭ﾞ

we both use methods of distraction !! he’ll take me out with him; to the casino, on the walks, to the shopping mall… he doesn’t exactly buy me gifts on every trip to the shopping mall but he does end up getting me at least one lavish gift… i just like picking out new watches for him ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა it keeps my mind occupied but if we can’t go out, he lets me read verbally my book to him !! meanwhile i play piano for him… or talk his ears off if i have the bunny zoomies !! sitting in his lap, playing with his attire or his earrings so he has something to focus on: me (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

“so that’s what you’re up to, little bunny? noted… and alexi might deny it but teasing is always involved. this little princess gets so anxious and panicky over everything, how could i resist not teasing her a little?”

has your f/o ever helped you get over a fear? have they ever pushed you out of your comfort zone?

♡ aletio ꒰ˆ◞⸝⸝◟ˆ ꒱੭ﾞ

veritas helped me get over my fear of public speaking… it was definitely a push out of my comfort zone ໒꒰ྀི˶ ◞ ˕ ◟˶꒱ྀི১ i wasn’t ready for it but i couldn’t attend the guild’s debates because i would get so anxious !! so he put my name down so that i had no choice… it was soooo scary !! but i did it !! n’ now i’m not so scared of speaking in public !! he doesn’t really know how to not push me out of my comfort zone but i know he does it with good intentions (｡•́︿•̀｡)

“you don’t complain this much when you get praised afterwards, angel. there’s no reason as to why you shouldn’t experience these moments of discomfort when they’re proven to be assisting the concept that these irrational fears of yours are only holding back your potential.”

[mermaidsirennikita]

Such a random ask, but can you recommend a Historical romance that could make me cry?. Lol need a cry fest or some angst even

Oh, for sure! I love angst. It's my favorite thing, lol.

Some of my favorite angsty books:

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. Somewhat angst-lite compared to others, but very ROMANTIC angst, if that makes sense. Heroine is a trans woman who faked her death at the Battle of Waterloo in order to transition. She has no angst about who she is, but she does feel guilty because she left her best friend with survivor's guilt, as he's believed her dead for years. He's suffering from addiction and chronic pain after the battle, and years later, she reluctantly accompanies some friends to help him out. He doesn't recognize her... at first... But when he does... it's romantic and tragic and made me cry.

For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale. BIG. DENSE. ANGST EXTRAORDINAIRE. A 17 year old medieval knight accompanies his mentally ill wife (who believes she's receiving visions from God) to a convent to drop her off (reluctantly) and encounters a married princess who he's immediately attracted to, though she scorns him. After he ends up wifeless, he finds out he's also been robbed, and the princess takes pity and gives him jewels to get back on his feet, after which he pledges his life (and his chastity) to her service. Flash forward 13 years and they see each other for the first time since then. He's lived to serve her from afar and has a romanticized idea of who she is, not actually knowing her. She's a total ice queen, now a widow, and ruthless. He ends up escorting her on this long journey, and it's like... Two broken jaded people slowly opening up to each other? Kinsale is very loyal to the era and doesn't tone down its issues, but I found it super romantic and moving but also quite emotionally impactful.

And it sets you up for the next book, which moved me even more, Shadowheart. Set years later, it follows a villainous character from the first book as he attempts to maneuver politics for his gain by forcing the heroine (who was raised as a borderline peasant but basically finds out she's the heiress to an Italian principality he wants to control) to marry him. I will warn you, the first encounter is non-con (though it's not, like... violent? It's very medieval "you will submit to your husband consummating this whether you like it or not", not good but accurate) but the relationship that develops after is like... Both dark and sweet, intense and romantic and just. They love each other SO much. And they're SO torn by circumstances. One of the best books I've ever read.

My Darling Duke by Stacy Reid. Heroine is in dire straits and wants to make her sisters more presentable to society so they can secure good marriages. She makes up this engagement to a duke who hasn't been seen in society for years, assuming he'll never find out and she can "break it off" after her sisters get engaged--he finds out and basically demands she play along with the engagement for a while... But he's been hiding because he became disabled after an accident, and uses a wheelchair. It's very emotional, very angsty, and very romantic.

The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie by Jennifer Ashley. Heroine is a widow being courted by a douchebag, and receives a note warning her about said douchebag from a younger lord who's somewhat ostracized by society because he's on the spectrum. They end up becoming friends before beginning an affair that's supposed to be temporary, but becomes much deeper. Ian is so misunderstood, even by the family that loves him, and his struggles are honestly very true to the era. It's super romantic and sad at once. I will say--these books do include the casual usage of the g-slur, though I don't know that it's used in relation to actual characters so much as "he had the look of a..." Which... I don't like. Unfortunately, it's something you do see in a LOT of older historicals, and I don't excuse it--but I also don't want people going into these books blind.

Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage is the second book in that series (same issue as mentioned above, though I again think it's pretty quick). This one is about a separated couple who's been living apart for years, and when she arrives to give him a head's up that his paintings are being forged, he decides to win her back. It's very "these two love each other but can't figure it out". Heads up: they did separate for many reasons, but the final straw was the emotional fallout of a miscarriage. It's super sad but well-done, imo.

Indigo by Beverly Jenkins. Heroine works with the Underground Railroad and ends up nursing the hero, who's super renowned for his work helping people escape slavery, back to health after he's injured. He's a rake and she's a virgin, and he tries to pursue her but she attempts to resist. Classic older historical, lots of twists and turns. The heroine was born into slavery and ending up becoming free, but her mother is still enslaved. This book is gorgeously written and made me cry like a little bitch, tbh.

I mean, most Lorraine Heath books are very angsty and emotional, but I'd super recommend:

Waking Up with the Duke--Hero got into a carriage accident with his best friend years ago, and the accident rendered said friend impotent. Friend is now asking hero to impregnate friend's wife, who hates the hero because of the accident (which also caused her to miscarry); hero reluctantly agrees once she consents, but oops, he's actually been holding a torch for her for yeeears. Gloriously angsty, so emotional, I cry at one particular scene basically every time.

The Earl Takes All--gorilla twins; hero goes on safari with identical twin, and identical twin is KILLED BY A GORILLA; the hero, by his twin's request, returns to England pretending to be his brother because the heroine is pregnant and has a history of miscarriages. Madness and angst ensues.

Between the Devil and Desire--heroine is a cold duchess whose husband just died, and she finds out that he left the guardianship of their young son to a total stranger; stranger owns a gambling hell and moves in. Much opposites-attract and angst ensues. TW: discussions of childhood sexual abuse. The entire Scoundrels of St. James series is.... a lot.

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt--hero is a virgin Quaker schoolteacher by day; a vigilante who rescues orphans by night. A society widow begins teaching him how to be a gentleman so he can secure patrons for the orphanage, while tangling with his alter ego after hours. It's crazy, but also an all-time favorite of mine, and so beautiful I could scream. Does include detailed discussions of miscarriage and infertility, as a heads up.

The Highwayman by Kerrigan Byrne--another big favorite. Heroine works for Scotland Yard, and the hero is a crime lord who ends up kidnapping her. He basically found out she had an inheritance he wanted, and she's also in danger because of said inheritance, so he makes a deal to marry and protect her... but she wants kids. His issue: he's so traumatized by an extremely horrible childhood that he cannot touch people skin to skin. He literally wears gloves all the time. And she's like.... welp, have sex with me enough times for me to have your baby, with the gloves on. CRAZY. EMOTIONAL. ANGSTY. I WEPT LOL. There's a lot more to the plot than what I can explain. TW: hero was sexually assaulted as a child.

The Day of the Duchess by Sarah MacLean. Not for the faint of heart lol, but I love it. Hero and heroine got married, and though he was initially in love with her, he ended up cheating on her while she was pregnant (there are reasons, and those reasons have nothing to do with him like... legit wanting anyone else, but still, bad). She leaves, then returns just in time to lose their baby. Years of separation later, she returns asking for a divorce, which he agrees to give her--if she helps him find his next wife. Which is an excuse to try to get her back, obvi. This is a very "grown people with grown people problems" book to me. It's not about the fairy tale. They have real issues to work through. Which makes it hit harder for me, tbh.

The Dragon and the Pearl by Jeannie Lin. Warlord hero in Tang Dynasty China kidnaps a former emperor's concubine to try to get information from her, then becomes obsessed with her. Two cunning people circling each other, trying not to catch feelings yet being helpless to resist. Sweeping, romantic, heartwrenching.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Give Me A Chance -Mitch Marner

A/N: Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been missing for so long. Shit’s been crazy but here is a Mitch story to hopefully start the beginning of me posting more again.

Alexis dragged me to the party. Well I shouldn't say dragged, I knew a lot of the other players that were there and it was nice to see them. Finding out he was my cousin had it's perks. However I knew when I came that there were people I wasn't fond of and that he would disappear pretty quickly, leaving me tipsy and alone.

And that's what I was, tipsy and alone. It wasn't the end of the world I just didn't know who to spend time with. I saw Auston refilling his drink alone so I decided he was who I'd hang out with for a while.

"Hey Aus, congrats on winning that award!"

"HI! Thanks (y/n). I didn't know you were coming tonight."

"Yeah Alexis convinced me it could be fun."

"And is it fun?"

"I suppose it's pretty fun." I said in an exaggerated nonchalant tone, making him laugh.

"Does Mitch know you're here yet?" He teased.

"No I don't think so. He hasn't bugged me yet so I'd say no. There's lots of people around. He's not gonna spot me in the crowd."

"You wanna bet?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm positive he'd find you in less than 10 minutes."

"And why do you think that?"

"Because I don't know if you've noticed but our dear Mitchy is quite smitten with you."

"Ew don't say it like that." I said, making him laugh.

"Well it's true!"

"He's not smitten Auston, he's horny. There's a difference."

"There is a difference, yes, but apparently you can't tell the difference."

"How do you know?"

"He talks about you all the time!"

"Oh shut up no he doesn't."

"He does."

"I've only spoken to him like 4 times. 2 very briefly because the second time I met him he was drunk and told me I was hot and would be fun to try out. I'm not interested in being 'tried out' Auston. Those days are far behind me."

"Well I promise you he doesn't just want to bang you. He asks everyone about you and wonders out loud."

"Auston come off it. You expect me to believe that? Besides he's dating that girl, it's absolutely not fair to her."

"Oh Mitch broke up with Stephanie aaaages ago. He didn't think it was fair to her either."

"Ah I see." I said trying to seem like I didn't care about that information.

"I still bet that if I told him you were here he'd find you in under 10 minutes."

"You're on Matthews."

"Okay, you go wander around, when you're confident in your place text me. It's gotta be in a party room though, you can't go hide in my guest room or something."

"Fine. We'll see how this goes I guess."

"Prepare yourself for an overly excited slightly drunk Mitch."

"How's that any different than usual?"

"He's drunk this time." He said laughing as he turned to go into the crowd. "Let me know when you're good."

He left and I started wandering around. I tried hard to find a good spot but eventually gave up and made myself another drink after texting Auston to let out the bloodhound. I looked at the time and made a mental note to check again when he found me. I moved from the drink area back to the living room and waited. After a couple minutes I felt arms jump and wrap around me.

"(Y/n)! I didn't know you were here, where have you been hiding?"

"Hi Mitch." I said, patting his arm then getting out of his arms ignoring his pout. "I haven't been here all that long, I ran into Auston and was talking to him for a bit."

"Yeah he's the one who told me you were here! I had to come say hi, see how you were. It's been a long time since last time I saw you and got to talk."

"I'm good! How are you?"

"Been kinda down honestly." He said with a shrug as he casually took a sip of beer. Curiosity got the better of me.

"I'm sorry to hear that Mitch, you okay?"

"Yeah of course, I mean I did break up with my girlfriend and my team did get beat in the first round again but it's fine, I've been managing. What about you though what have you been up to? We haven't seen you around much."

"I had finals and stuff. That kinda had to take a front seat for a while. My social life just had to wait. I've got an internship which is exciting! It's at the aquarium and I'm really excited to be working with the team look after the animals. I get to prepare food, feed them, clean, transport…it's been so much fun." I looked up and saw him listening intently with a smile and I panicked, looking away back at my drink. "Sorry I'm rambling, you don't care about all that."

"What do you mean?" He asked in confusion.

"I'm just blabbering about nothing important, people don't care about it I'm just over excited."

"(Y/n) what are you talking about? Of course I care. I could listen to you talk about stuff like that for hours." He said giving me a small smile. "So the aquarium huh? That means you'll be right downtown right?"

"Yeah I've got a place probably 10 minutes away walking. It's really nice, I love it."

"That's great! Maybe we'll see you around!"

"Maybe! Although I'm sure you guys are way too busy to entertain me."

"Don't be silly! Never too busy." He winked and I had to look down to keep him from seeing the blush on my face. "I'm out of beer so I'm gonna get another one, you want anything?"

"No I'm still good, no worries." I smiled as he left before walking around trying to lose him.

"Well look who it is! How's it going?" Auston said with a huge shiteating grin. "Did Mitchy find ya?"

"Oh fuck off you know he did." I mumbled.

"We should've put money on it."

"I wasn't willing to lose money."

"So you knew he'd find you?"

"Not 100% but I was pretty sure he would."

"Does he know why you're here?"

"At the party?"

"Don't act dumb, you know what I meant. Can we all hangout again or what?"

"He knows I'm here semi-permanently. I told him about the internship."

"Finally."

"It's been less than a month, Auston."

"And it's been killing me trying to keep it from him. He's like a fucky puppy (y/n/n), you get near a door he's coming too and is so dejected when you say no especially without giving a good reason."

"Well I'm sorry but he knows now. You don't have to do that anymore."

"You guys have kept this a secret from me for a month?" Mitch asked from behind me.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"Why?" He asked looking between the two of us, but mostly at Auston.

"Mitch I just wanted to get settled in, that's all." I said quickly.

"Well that's obviously a fucking lie." He snorted. 

"It's not. I did want to get settled in before you knew I was here."

"What why? I'm that annoying and overbearing that you couldn't get settled in and chill if I knew?"

"Mitch I-"

"Don't even worry about it. Point made." He said turning to leave. 

"Mitch come on." I tried but he just kept going to the kitchen, giving me the finger as he went. "What the fuck was that for?"

"He's really upset."

"I know that Auston but why? We've barely ever spoken!"

"He really likes you (Y/n)."

"I don't want to believe that." I mumbled.

"Why not? Why can't you just accept that he likes you and all of this is hurting him?"

"Because Auston, I don't want to hurt him. But if I start to believe that then I'm gonna start to get hope and then I'm going to be hurt."

"You're such a fucking idiot. Like I love you don't get me wrong, but goddamn. You're lying to yourself and hurting Mitch because you refuse to admit he might like you?"

"See it sounds rational until you say it. Maybe it's your tone?"

"You know damn well that this isn't rational."

"Neither is Mitch liking me! It doesn't make any sense! Why? What? I just don't get it."

"It doesn't need to make sense to you. Go talk to him! You're hurting two of my favourite people for no reason."

"What if he doesn't listen right now?"

"Then you deserve to wait until he's ready."

"That's fair. I'm going to try and find him."

"Just try to fix it. He's drunk but you are one person I fully believe he'd listen to right now. You can go up to your guest room to talk if need be."

"I'll see you later!" I called as I turned to find Mitch. 

It took a while, I think he was purposely avoiding me. I went through all the party space twice and didn't see him. I thought about going upstairs to look but just as I got to the stairs I saw him in the kitchen he saw me and started trying to escape but he was behind the island so he was kind of trapped.

"Mitch come on, let me explain."

"I think you've really said enough."

"Please? I really haven't." I tried to go around and he tried to escape but i caught him by the arm. He shook me off. "Mitchy please stop running from me and let me explain."

"I don't want an explanation."

"Please just listen because it's not what you think at all."

"No! Why would I give you the chance to just make yourself feel better?" He asked looking angry.

"Mitch it's not just to make me feel better."

"Yes it is. You've made your point, I'm a fucking burden to you, I've been bothering you every time I come up to you these last few months."

"That's not true, I want to talk to you, I want you to approach me."

"No you don't!" 

"Yes I really do!"

"Lying isn't helpful (y/n)."

"God, I'm not lying right now!" I said getting angry. "I wanted to finally be honest with you and explain why things have been the way they are but Auston was wrong, you aren't going to listen and don't give a shit about what I have to say just like I fucking told him you wouldn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't give a shit what I have to say. Like you said last time you drank with me around, you literally just want to fuck and that's it. I told him that too and he told me I was wrong but obviously that's not true because you don't give a single fuck." I tried to leave but he grabbed my arm. 

"Give me a chance!" He exclaimed loudly making everyone close by stare at us.

"Mitch shut up." I said as quiet as I could to still be heard above the noise.

"No (y/n)! Give me a chance!"

"Fucking come here." I grabbed him and dragged him to Auston's guest room. I slammed and locked the door. "What is your fucking problem tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"What the hell was that out there?" I exclaimed gesturing to the party on the other side of my door. "I get upset that the situation is exactly what I thought it was and you start yelling and making everyone stare at us!"

"The situation is not what you think it is. Like literally at all." He scoffed and laid down on the bed I always sleep in when I stay over.

"That's my side of the bed." I said stupidly.

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

"Not really." He said with a lazy grin that had me smiling at him.

"Can I sit?"

"Of course." He didn't move out of my spot so I just sat at the edge facing him, our knees were touching because he kept his feet off the bed when he laid down. He sat up a bit straighter but he kept our legs touching.

"Can I please try to explain? I completely understand if you don't want to and I deserve to wait until you're ready so please don't feel like you have to hear me out right now. Or ever really I guess if you don't want to." I said shrugging.

"I guess you can. I'm fucking mad though, let that be known."

"That's completely fair."

"Like a month? Seriously? You kept it from me for an entire month?"

"Well to be honest it's only been about 3 weeks but yes."

"Why? What on earth made you think that was the right move?"

"I meant what I said when I told you I wanted time to settle in, but not at all because you're a burden or annoying. Nothing like that, ever." I had put my hand on his leg to try and let my words really sink in. Or at least that's what I told myself.

"Why couldn't you have done that with me knowing you were living close by?" He crossed his arms as I got up. "What are you doing?"

"I can't look at you while I say this right now." I looked at the ground and he just stayed quiet so I continued. "I couldn't have you know I was there because of me, not you. If you had known I was that close I would have wanted you around every day. If you'd asked to hangout or something I would've said yes and I wouldn't have ever fully gotten everything done."

"I can still give people space, you know?" He asked getting up and standing in front of me.

"But that's just it, I don't want you to do that. I don't want space."

"This is a big change from the beginning of the night. How can I believe that this isn't a lie so I'm not mad."

"Mitchy I've been lying to myself the entire time I've known you. I lied to myself because of Steph, I lied to myself because of Auston, I lied to myself over what you said last time you were drunk. I'm not interested in being 'tried out' as you put it and I've been telling myself for a year that you don't actually like me and you just want to fuck so that I don't like you but I fucking like you dude. I always have and it's scary."

"Why's it scary?"

"I haven't felt like this in a long time and it's scary. You're incredible and I'm so fucking ordinary. Plus what you said before. I can't like someone that just wants to try me out."

"(Y/n) you absolutely sweetheart, you're so not fucking ordinary. I don't want that, I never wanted that. I literally broke up with my girlfriend for you."

"Wait that was for me? You didn't even know I was here."

"Of course it was for you. You're so special. It didn't matter where you were I couldn't stop thinking about you and it wasn't fair to anyone. I was ready to try and make a long distance thing happen."

"Auston told me that you guys broke up and it was mutual. I'm sorry I caused that pain in your life."

"Don't be sorry." He said reaching out to cup my cheek and get me to look at him. "I'm not sorry. I couldn't stay with her, it wasn't fair."

"But you're not doing good, you said."

"Not about that. I said it with the things I was sad about as a way to casually drop the information that I was single now and had been for a little bit. I'm bummed out about the playoffs. And I'm still bummed out you didn't tell me you were here." He walked back from me and sat down on the bed again, laying back in the middle of it.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to reach out to you so many times to see if you were okay but I didn't think it was my place. I meant what I said before though, I never would've finished dick all if I knew you were willing to hangout with me a lot."

"Come here." He said softly holding his arms open for me.

"What?"

"Come here. Stop denying me what I'm sure will be one of life's greatest pleasures." He said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes before slipping off my shoes and my flannel shirt leaving me in a t-shirt and shorts. I crawled into the bed trying to get situated on the other side of him but he pulled me down right on top of him. He took a deep breath and kissed my forehead. We stayed laying there in silence for a while and it was comfortable.

"Why have you been denying this?" Mitch asked.

"Mostly because of Steph. It just wasn't fair and I saw how it hurt her having your attention on me. I felt so guilty."

"Well there's nothing to feel guilty about. Let me be around. Let me prove that this is for real and that I really want to be everything you need." He said softly, moving a piece of hair from my eyes.

"Okay." I said, boldly shifting up to give him a kiss before teasing him  "I suppose I could give you a chance."

[pbandjesse]

Today gave me a lot of stress!!! It wasn't all bad but man did it go off the rails.

I was fully planning on waking up and leaving here around 1130 to go to the volunteering we were supposed to do with camp. But pretty quickly after I woke up Alexi was texting the group to let us know that volunteering was canceled and asked if we could just come to work for a few hours.

No problem. I let Alexi know I could be in within the hour and she said she would see me then!

James made me a sandwich for breakfast and i got myself ready for the day. And while I ate my sandwich I worked on my knitting.

I left here and went to the car. I waited for the car to warm up a little. And then headed to camp.

This did not last long!!! I made it down the street when the car started freaking out and saying the car had low air pressure and it was so stressful. I called James and told them I was coming home because I didn't know what to do.

When I got back here James brought their pump down hoping it was just a weird leak. But no. There was a piece of wire stuck in the tire and it was hissing. I got really upset when James pulled the wire out and it started deflating and I was just like. We both have taken first aid!! You know not to pull out the thing!!! So then besides being upset about the wire I was also just super upset with James and I don't know why but tire stuff makes me freak out. My whole insides feel on edge and freaked out. Is it trauma from when our tire exploded?? No idea. But I was really upset.

I texted Alexi that James was calling AAA but I would probably not be able to come in. She said it was all good and it would be okay.

I immediately tried to cool down by grabbing my knitting and sitting in bed.

I just knit and knit and knit. I needed to knit approximately 9 feet to finish the blanket I'm making. And I would do that. Like. I was just so focused and I got it done.

James would call AAA and they would take 2 hours to come. We would have things to do though. The loan office sent us a to do list. And so we worked on that. One of the things we had to do was take a first time homebuyers class. And because we had so much time we were able to knock out the whole thing!

After the AAA came and put the soare on the car James would give me a kiss goodbye and headed to the dealership.

I worked on my blanket and sewed it and I am thrilled it is done. And I worked on painting a few more things on my fish plate. A pad of butter and some tomato slices. I'm very pleased with this project.

James made it to the dealership and it would take 3 hours. And they weren't able to patch the puncture and we needed a new tire. But because we have a warranty it was covered! Incredible.

But this would mess up the plans for our home inspection. James would not make it home in time to get me and get us over to Patterson. So we decided at 230 that I would take a Lyft there and when James was done at the dealership they would join me there.

And that would work out great.

I haven't taken a Lyft in years. But the guy who picked me up was very nice and his car had a fun red interior. It was a quick drive and I got out and was absolutely lost.

I didn't recognize anything. And I knew I was looking for a brick front with a black door but the one I was looking at was not correct. I was very frazzled. But then I realized I was just on the wrong side of the street.

I went over to the correct house and I was soon greeted by the inspector, John. He was so lovely! What a nice man.

And I felt very knowledgeable. We had so much to look at and so much to do. I took a million notes and pictures. He said I was the best flashlight holder and he wishes I was on every inspection. So I obviously got a good grade in home inspection.

We did find a few concerns but they were small or fixable. And I feel really good about everything. I even got on the floor with him to look into the crawl space and we found a book! Neat.

We were in the basement for such a long time. Like a full hour. But there was a lot to learn. I got to learn how to light the pilots on the hot water and the furnace. And I really enjoyed learning about how things can be fixed and how to care for the house.

I spent a lot of the inspection measuring things. Counting outlets. Taking notes and trying to learn as much as I could. It was honestly a lot of fun.

When James arrived we were in the kitchen. And they were very tired, just a bit zonked from the waiting at the dealership. But I was happy they were there. And I really appreciated that John never deferred to James. He really seemed to get that I was the handy one but also didn't dismiss me for the husband.

The kitchen was great. The electrical panel was very neat. The windows have tilt opening which is great for cleaning. The back "yard" which is just a cement pad, needs work. It's ugly. But that is okay! I want to add a privacy fence to the back and replace the backdoor for more light. Upstairs me and James discussed the demo of the wall I wanted and reassessed it to create a better storage closet and I'm really excited and think we have a great plan. And the inspector said it is not a load bearing wall. Incredible! That will make it a lot easier.

John would check all the waters and water pressure. And me and James decided we are going to use the front bedroom and when we eventually add a porch to the back bedroom we will move there. I think this is a good plan. I am really excited about this house.

And John made me feel really secure. He was not able to check the roof yet because he tried to use his drone to check it but the wind took out his drone and crashed it. I felt so bad about that!! But he said he will be coming back on Thursday to finish the radon test and will have a new drone and will try again but from the few minutes he was able to see it he did think it looked great. And he really said the house seemed great and he will have the inspection to us very soon. Amazing.

We left the house and I was in such a good mood. I was so excited. James and me would debrief, and discuss stopping at the grocery store on the way home.

We got to the grocery store and got eveything for my mashed potatoes for the camp party tomorrow. When we got home James jumped on a DND game with their friends and I would make my foods and it was a really nice evening. Doing some collection of links for things I would want to decorate. It was a really nice night.

My tummy hurts a bit. But I am feeling happy. Excited. More excited then I had been. It feels more real. And there are still things that can go off the rails for sure. But what if it didn't!!! This might be buying a house!!!

James just got done thier game and I am texting with Jess and am ready to go to sleep.

I hope you all are feeling happy tonight and are taking care of yourselves. I love you all. Goodnight!

[aquadestinyswriting]

Splitting the Anvil

Summary: Merri ponders her situation, then tries to make her way back up to the main Cathedral to find those responsible for the Desecration of the most holy site in Fangthane. Unfortunately those who want her dealt with are a bit quicker to act.

Words: 2,011

Warnings: None that I can immediately think of. Possibly the religious themes and the false pretences for Merri's arrest?

Tags: @druidx @homesteadchronicles @asher-orion-writes, @blind-the-winds, @odysseywritings, @writeblrsupport

note: this is set pretty much directly after Where Secrets Lie

Meredith slowly lifted her head and looked up at the table and the jar upon it, wiping her eyes on the sleeves of her vestments. She frowned, it was obviously magical, but what was it and why was it all the way down here? She slowly stood, hand gripping the edge of the table so she could pull herself upright. A familiar tingle met her fingers the moment she touched the table. Meredith’s frown deepened, pulling her hand away and towards her. Her palm was covered with dust, dust which was now lighting up with a very familiar faint blue light. God Clay. Dim memories of finding a much more simple bowl and marvelling at what she could do with the dust that came off in her hands came back to her.

“Better lo'ed ye canna be,

Will ye no’ come back again?”

A distant, feminine voice, not Meredith’s own, sang. The cleric looked back up at the friezes on the wall. She stared at the second frieze. Though eroded beyond total recognition, she knew what it depicted, though how she knew that, she didn’t quite know. It did, however, fit with what she remembered Dar Alexis telling the Council. That Moradin was not of Titan. The knowledge didn’t bother Meredith, somehow, despite the exceedingly sacrilegious and heretical nature of the claim. Why did it matter so much that her God wasn’t originally from the world she inhabited? He still loved His children- adopted though they may be- and Kherillim was clearly content to let the dwarves revere Him. Meredith looked back towards the tunnel she had come down and frowned. The statues in the Contemplation Chamber now depicted something other than Moradin. Something demonic. Who was calling on the Demon Princes to oust the God that had held the people of Fangthane together for millennia? And for what purpose?

Meredith felt her attention being drawn to the book that sat on the table in front of her. Despite its age and the thick layer of dust atop it, it looked undamaged. She brushed the dust off the cover and placed the book in a pocket within her vestments. Whatever was going on, she felt sure that the book likely had some answers for her. Meredith smiled, gently teasing the God Clay dust in her hands into the shape of a small hammer. She placed it on the table next to the bowl, bowed her head and muttered a prayer before turning and leaving the tiny shrine. She didn’t notice the hammer she’d created lighting up with a soft, golden glow before vanishing, along with the bowl.

Meredith’s mind spun as she walked back up the winding tunnel. Whatever was going on in Fangthane clearly ran a lot deeper than she’d originally thought. But who could she trust to talk to about all this? As far as she knew, everyone in the mountain was convinced that she was some sort of Heretical lunatic, turned against King and God by the machinations of Drakemar and the leadership of Toreguarde.She had been incredibly lucky, or Blessed, to have escaped capture thus far, but she couldn’t keep hiding forever. Not to mention the fact that she was somehow back in the mountain had probably made its way back to her family by now, and who knew what kind of trouble they’d be in if anyone knew she was down here. She quietly cursed to herself. Being forced to take the most roundabout route to the mountain- thanks to the Brotherhood of Cleaving patrols on the roads between Toreguarde and Fangthane- had clearly allowed Grimbeard the opportunity to come back long before her to start spreading his own version of the events that had forced him from the city. Meredith paused at the entrance to the tunnel, inhaling sharply at the voices that now echoed around the vast chamber,

“What in the..?”

“Well, this all but confirms it. Such a shame too, the lassie had so much potential.”

“Don’t tell me ye’re getting soft, Agnar. We can’t afford to let our guards down.”

“Who said I was gonna? I’m just sayin’, it’s a shame that the lassie went away to that nest of vipers at such a young and vulnerable age. Keepin’ her here for a few more decades might’ve prevented all this.” 

“Aye, pity auld Vanskleig was convinced otherwise. Poor man must’ve been goin’ senile and no one wanted to point it out.” 

Meredith waited until the voices faded somewhat, an indication that they were walking away from her vicinity. She crept out of the tunnel and skirted around the edge of the cavern, making her way towards the tunnels leading up and out of the Contemplation Chamber. She tried to cool the boiling in her gut. Vanskleig speaking to the Council and getting them to agree to let her leave for Toreguarde when he did was the only reason Fangthane still stood. True, it had taken several months after she’d arrived for her to be able to get the God Clay to permanently seal up the Hellmouth beneath the human city, but even waiting just another six months would have spelled the end of all life on Titan as the people of Fangthane knew it. What was so hard to understand about that?

Meredith had just about made it to the tunnel up to the cathedral proper when her path was blocked by another dwarf, only a little older than her, with sandy blonde hair and wearing Inquisitor’s robes. The other woman blinked. Meredith held up a hand, an attempt to stop her from shouting out in her surprise. To Meredith’s amazement, the other dwarf nodded and pulled her back behind one of the statues,

“What are ye even doing down here?” the newcomer hissed quietly, popping her head around the dais the statue stood on before looking back at Meredith, “And since when were ye promoted?” Meredith shook her head,

“Long story and I’ve not got time to stand here and chat. Why are ye even helping me?” she whispered. The Inquisitor sighed,

“To cut a long story short, I don’t agree with a lot of what’s been going on the last coupla years.” she explained, “Grimebeard getting the High Inquisitor position is pretty much my last straw at this point.” Meredith’s eyes went wide,

“Wait, what?” she exclaimed as quietly as she could manage, “When-” she was cut off by footsteps rapidly approaching from the other side of the statue. The blonde haired dwarf hissed,

“Schist.” she looked at Meredith apologetically as she grabbed the cleric’s arm again, “I’m sorry,” she murmured. Meredith shook her head,

“Don’t be.” she murmured back, “I’ll not ask ye to put yourself in peril on my behalf. I know I’m innocent of all charges they want to throw at me. That’ll just have to be enough.” The Inquisitor nodded, looking at the other woman with a questioning look,

“Not fighting then?” she asked in a low voice, hearing the footsteps reach the other side of the statue. Meredith shook her head,

“No point.” she replied with a weary sigh, “There’re probably enough of you down here to see me no matter which direction I try to take to get out of here. Besides, I want to have a chat with our new High Inquisitor.” The Inquisitor sent the auburn haired cleric a confused glance, but quickly shrugged and dragged the other woman around the statue and into the light coming from the scrying pool,

“Got her!” she called. The two older dwarves turned at the sound of the younger one’s voice. The taller of the two smiled,

“Great work Vera. Where was she?” he asked. Vera nodded to behind the statue,

“She was trying to skirt around the edges of the cavern.” she replied. Meredith snorted,

“It was worth a shot.” she muttered. The shorter of the two longbeards shook his head as he pulled out a pair of manacles from his belt,

“It was daft enough that ye ran off to start with.” he said, “Now then, are ye gonna come quietly this time or am I gonna have to get creative?” Meredith eyed the brandished manacles warily. While anti-magic wouldn’t cut off any divine connections, it would make defending herself a lot more difficult. She wrested her hands free from Vera’s grip and held them out with a huff. The taller inquisitor gestured to the statues,

“So what did ye hope to achieve with all this anyway?” he asked. Meredith glanced over to him, wincing as the manacles were locked around her wrists. She tutted,

“Fancy actually doing your job and telling me what the charges are and reading my rights?” she sniped. “Unless the High Inquisitor has decided to throw due process out the window because of his little personal vendetta?” she added. She caught Vera’s frown out of the corner of her eye. The old dwarf sneered at her,

“Watch yer tongue, girl, ye’re in enough trouble as it is.” he growled, leaning forward and grabbing Meredith’s Holy Symbol. He tugged sharply on it, snapping the the leather and tearing the item away from the incensed cleric,

“Meredith, daughter of Gruk, son of Ovak, member of Clan Ironforge, ye have hereby been arrested under Section 3c of the Fangthane Criminal Charges act and Section 2a of the Church of Moradin Inquisitorial Doctrine for the charges of High Treason against His Majesty Low King Storri Goldseeker and the citizenry of Fangthane and Heresy against the doctrine of the Church of Moradin. All sub-charges will be described to you upon processing. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.” he intoned, placing the mythril hammer into a pocket. 

“Fergus, I don’t think-” Vera started, but cut herself off as the dwarf rounded on her,

“Ye don’t think what, Vera?” he asked, “This heretic -”

“Alleged.” Meredith grumbled. 

“- is no longer considered a member of the Church. Therefore, she is to be stripped of all the privileges and accoutrements of the faith.” he continued, ignoring Meredith’s interruption. He stared at the younger dwarf, who lowered her head,

“Aye, sir.” she mumbled, stalking up next to Agnar, who shook his head,

“Ye don’t need to be so hard on her Fergie.” he said, “The lass is still learning, and it’s not like we’ve ever had to deal with a situation like this.” the greying dwarf gestured to the statues. Fergus huffed an irritated sigh,

“I just want this dealt with so we can concentrate on fixing the problems this one had a hand in creating.” he muttered, grabbing Meredith’s arm and hauling her towards the tunnel leading to the Cathedral proper. Meredith glared at him,

“Again. Allegedly.” she sniped, stumbling at the pace the much taller dwarf was setting. Her arm prickled uncomfortably where it was being squeezed. She glanced back to Vera, who was walking alongside Agnar and frowned. How did neither of them notice the burning aura around their companion? It almost hurt to look at him, so deep was the haze of red around him. 

Vera caught Meredith looking back at her, an unsettling feeling building in the pit of her stomach. Something wasn’t right about any of this. But what was it the younger woman was seeing that she wasn’t? She looked to Fergus, eyes widening at the slight haze that had started appearing around him before Agnar slapped a hand on her shoulder making her jump,

“It’s alright, hen. The lassie’ll not be bringing us any more trouble now we’ve got her. Great job catching her. The High Inquisitor will be right pleased to hear you were responsible for finding our wee trouble maker.” Vera sent the man a tight smile. She wasn’t so sure that it was a good thing, but Meredith seemed confident enough that things would work out for her. So why couldn’t she shake the feeling that the two of them had made a terrible mistake?