#and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel

[dlsintegration]

it's 4AM . May 4th 2024 I am Begging for this episode to drop . theres only so much i can take

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x fem!reader

Summary: When you're having cramps, your boyfriend doesn't even think of shying away from helping you in anyway he can.

Genre: Fluff, hurt and comfort✌️😉

Warnings: talk of having a period. that is all.

Although you have been feeling horrible all morning, you haven't mentioned anything as you continue your essay in the comfortable silence of your boyfriend's dorm.

You're in James's favorite Quidditch crewneck, your hands tucked under the sleeves as you continue to scribble incoherent words on your parchment. You chew on your lip as another cramp hits you, the pain piercing your lower stomach.

You hear the door creak and shuffling behind you, accompanied by a call of your name, "Y/n!" you hear the smile in James's voice as he says, "I didn't think you'd be in here?"

He sounds a little surprised but he makes his way over to you eagerly, leaning down and kissing behind your ear. "How are you, baby?" he asks. James wraps his arms around your stomach, lifting the hem of your sweater (his sweater) and presses his hands to your warm skin.

On any normal day you would welcome his touch, but this time his hand on your stomach reminds you of how much pain you're in and how disgusting you feel. So, you squirm against him and pull his hands away. "James," you whisper, shutting your eyes as you feel another jab of pain.

How did it suddenly become so much worse?

James frowns, slightly hurt by your rejection, but kneels in front of you. "Hey," He says quietly, taking your hands in his. He turns you around until he can see your face and his heart leaps in his chest when he sees that your eyes are almost as scarlet as his sweater (as well as extremely swollen).

You blink away new tears, turning your head away from him. You're so embarrassed. James rubs his hands over your knee. "What happened?"

Your lip wobbles as you stare at the desk and the cramps return, "I'm on my period and it feels like someone is tearing my insides out. And I feel all sticky and gross," you pause and warn him, "You don't want to touch me when I'm like this."

James cracks a smile. "I wanna touch you all the time," he continues to massage soothingly across your knee and your lower thighs. "It always only depends on if you want me to touch you. If I had my way, love, you would never leave my arms."

You can't help but laugh and your expression softens. James sends you a lopsided smirk and reaches up to caress your cheek with his thumb. "Did you take something? To help with the cramps?"

You nod your head and mumble, "It hasn't worked yet."

James looks over you at his desk and the parchment and ink, "And what are you doing in here? You should be relaxing," he reprimands softly. He looks around the room just to make sure Remus, Peter, and Sirius are out.

"I have to finish this essay for tomorrow," you say, "And I was lonely. I missed you but I knew you were at Quidditch practice so I came here and — I was cold — " your voice is small as you lift your arms to show him his sweater.

James interrupts you with a small, "Dove," his voice is light with amusement and endearment. "I didn't mean it like that. You can always come into my room and steal as many of my sweaters as you like, I don't care. I just want to know why you're torturing yourself with this essay when you're in pain."

You smile a little, wincing when another cramp creeps up on you and you say,"I can't just put everything on pause because of some silly cramps. I'm okay."

James shakes his head. "Nonsense," he helps you stand and suddenly swoops his hands under your legs and holds you in his arms. You let out a breathy laugh as your arms loop themselves around his neck.

"I'm gonna make you relax, love," he states sternly as he walks to his bed and delicately lowers you onto his mattress. You curl up as you let the warmth of his fuzzy blankets calm some of the pain in your stomach.

James quickly shrugs his Quidditch uniform off, leaving it on the back of his chair, and you can't help but stare when he's shirtless. He turns to you and smirks. "Don't stare at me like that," he whispers teasingly and you whip your head around, pretending to find the walls of his dorm extremely interesting.

"Sorry," you mutter and feel the mattress dips as James nuzzles against you, pulling you in as he leans his head on the wall behind him. He's warm and the feel of his thumb sliding across your skin makes you shiver.

He leans down and kisses your cheek delicately. You squirm when another cramp hits you and James squeezes your shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry, my love. I hate seeing you in pain. How can I make this better?" you move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso as you bury your face into the crook of his neck,

"S'nothing you can do, Jamie," you mumble.

"How can I distract you then?"

You pause, thinking for a moment and then look up and make eye contact with him. "Tell me about practice today?" you ask softly.

James chuckles, "I didn't know you like when I talk Quidditch, love."

You smile and clarify, "I like it when you talk," you lean up a little and kiss his cheek. When you pull away from him, your smile widens as you admire how his cheeks look pinker. He smiles, mostly to himself, and leans his head on yours as he draws small circles on your shoulder.

"Well, Bennett had his head in his ass the entire fucking time," James doesn't hold back and you frown, swatting him on his chest. His eyes widen and he looks at you with a weak smile. "Sorry," he mumbles and you relax into him again. Another cramp hits you but this time James's voice distracts you, "I meant that Bennett had a hard time being a team player and you know I don't tolerate that."

You hum and let him continue, "I had to have a talk to him after but he didn't like that. Merlin, Quidditch players can be such dicks."

You giggle, "I know."

James looks at you. "What's that supposed to mean, baby?"

You grin and stoke a line down his jaw, explaining yourself, "I don't mean you, James. I just mean that it isn't something I don't notice when I'm with you and you're hanging around them."

"None of them ever bother you though, right?" James interrupts, concern weaved into his voice, "Because you would tell me, hmm? I'll kick them off the team no hesitation. No one messes with my girl."

You smile. "Oh, I think they're well aware. Frankly, if anything, they avoid me."

"And that doesn't make you feel sad or ignored does it?"

You laugh this time, sitting up and shaking your head. "No it doesn't. Jamie, you're the only Quidditch player I care about anyways," you wince from your movements and James sits up, his hand coming to rest on your stomach.

His hand falters as he remembers what you'd said, but just as he's about to move it away, you catch his wrist and push it under your sweater. You look at him with round eyes and James melts. "Can you? Your hands are warm."

"Of course," James says instantly. He smiles and starts to gently massage your abdomen. He lets you settle into him again and you close your eyes. The pressure from James's hand helps soothe your pain and just as you turn your head slightly to press a kiss to his neck, the door to James's dorm swings open.

Sirius Black throws his book-bag onto the ground and lifts his head to look at you both. "Y/n?" he scans you and James. James's hand under your shirt. Your lipgloss marks on James's cheek and neck.

Color drains from Sirius's face and he quickly covers his eyes. "Oh my fucking god. Prongs, what the fuck?"

James doesn't move his hand as he continues to massage circles on your skin, he rolls his eyes at his best friend. "Sirius, don't be so dramatic. Nothing's happening, Y/n just," he pauses and looks at you to make sure you're okay with Sirius knowing. You nod. "She's on her period and I'm helping her with her cramps."

Sirius's eyes widen and he stares at you as if you're an alien. "It's happening now? You're bleeding?!"

You frown and James sits up, grabbing the pillow from behind him and throwing it at Sirius. "You're such a child. Get out," James demands sternly.

Sirius holds his hands up in the air as surrender. "Hey, this is also my room!" he looks at you, his expression suddenly soft. "And I was only kidding, Y/n. I know bleeding out of your vagina is a completely normal thing that happens to a woman – "

James narrows his eyes and interrupts him, "Sirius. Door. Now."

Sirius just stares at James for a second until he eventually sighs and listens. When the door shuts behind him, your boyfriend is quick to apologize for his best friend. "I'm so sorry about him. He's such a pain in my ass."

You smile and murmur, "It's okay. He's harmless."

James nods, resuming his massages and you hum in approval, "Are you feeling any better, my love?"

You nod and move closer to him, still wanting his warmth. Your cramp have dulled because of the warmth of James's hand and you turn your head into his neck again, his hair tickling your cheek. "You're the best boyfriend, James," you say and you mean it.

"Oh, because I take care of my girl when she's in pain?" James scoffs, kissing your temple swiftly. "Please, that's the bare minimum, Y/n. I love you. I want to care for you. It's not a hard task. Nothing to be praised for."

You smile into his shoulder. You can't help but wonder if James Potter really doesn't know that he's one in a million. All you know is that if he doesn't you'll make sure to remind him that he is. Every second you can.

"I love you, Jamie," you mumble as James kisses your head again.

"I love you more," he whispers as you close your eyes.

[petew21-blog]

Workout routine

My best friend from school, Emily, married last summer while still being at university with me. She is still young, but claimed that her boyfriend truly loves her. Bullshit if you ask me, he never respected here and treated here like a trophy wife since the beginning. Yeah I hated him. He was a homophobic asshole and acting like some fuckin' alpha male. Why Emily dated him I never understood

One day we were on their garden studying for an upcoming exam. I was nervous most of the time cause James was working outside fixing stuff and eyed me like a prey. Emily went to get us some snacks and drinks.

He came up to me and started some homophobic talk how I could choose this path of sin and so on. I couldn't look up at him. Cause he was very close to me, very shritless and VERY sexy. Way too much. If I looked up even for a second, I would immediately get hard.

"You gays are the worst thing about this generation. You can't even work, y'all do your artsy useless shit and nothing usefull"

"Can you just let me live and go on about your life? I don't want to listen to this."

"Well you're on my property so you'll listen to whatever I have to tell you"

A call from inside the house. Emilly called him

"You're lucky. If it weren't for her you'd be already on the ground biting dust"

What an idiot. I was raging. I think I'll just leave and go home. I can't calm myself down and I don't want to cause any drama with Emily. Even if I think her husband is horrible, I don't want ot loose her a s a friend"

Emily came out of the house, smiling. She brought the snacks and water. She looked at me "Sorry for... taking so long. I had to sort something that couldn't wait. Now drink up, you haven't drank for hours. I should have brought drinks sooner."

I took the glass and took a sip. But then I felt really nauseaous. My vision was blurry now and I felt like vomiting. All I could make out of Emily's face was that she was smiling.

Then my vision started getting clearer again. But it was strange, I wasn't outside anymore. I was in their kitchen, holding a glass. "How did I get here?" went through in my head. As I looked for the nearest surface to put down the glass I noticed that I was shirtless.

Wait, what?!? This isn't my body!!!

I let go off the glass destroying it. But nothing could have prepared me for being this ripped in the matter of seconds. This is something I always wished for, but never thought I would get. I was always the skinny twink trying to build more muscles, but couldn't. And now, I have massive muscles.

I found a mirror in the hall. No, this can't be happening. I am James. I can't be him. He is an asshole. A homophobic asshole.

But his body thought otherwise. His dick got hard. And it isn't small. Which might be cool to play with, but now I was still angry everytime I looked at the mirror.

"Enjoying yourself?" Emily asked as she entered the house

"What have you done, Ems?"

"I gave you a new body. The one you have been lusting for. And as a side effect I got myself an improvement for a boyfriend. I loved him before, but I was blind and deaf to all the things he said on your account and to all the things he commented about me. Never appreciated me. But you are the best man I ever knew. And I wanted to be with you even if I wasn't your type. But now, I think I might be" she said as she placed her hand on my new crotch.

I thought I wouldn't like this, cause I was gay for my entire life, but James's body is still straight. But in my mind I could even picture myself with a dude and not be disgusted

"Ems, I think you didn't turn me straight as you wished for. I think I'm bi, actually"

"Whatever is best for both of us. I got a cute gay friend who you might like and who would love to explore your body, with me. But I think there might be some emotions involved, you know. Cause of the previous ownership and so on." she said and laughed out loud.

I took her up and put her on the kitchen table. Embracing her and going for a kiss.

"Ems, you are the best friend I could have ever wanted. I love you and I will love you now as your husband"

We could hear a scream outside coming from the garden. We could only smile at each other as we knew what was coming

Two months later:

"Hey, my name is James and this is my colleague Robert. Robert is a small gay dude friend from my wife. We are going on a road trip to get to know each other better with the permission from my wife. So we would like a room"

"Oh, there's only double bed? That's absolutely fine with us, right Robert? Bro's will be bro's and NO HOMO. Hahaha"

A story request from Inbox: Could you do a swap with a Twink and his best friend’s bodybuilder husband?

[rucksackmentality]

List of the truths shared in Nana Morri's Honesty trial (C3E79):

Imogen: I am genuinely scared to meet my mom again.

Laudna: Deep down inside, both Delilah and I want the shard...Fearne should have it, but I don't know anymore what's my opinion or desires or feelings, or hers.

Imogen: I love Laudna deeply but I'm disgusted at the thought of Delilah looking at us all the time.

Orym: I'm super lonely all the time, especially at night. It doesn’t matter if I'm bunking with one of you guys.

FCG: Sometimes I pity some of you because you have beating hearts and opportunities and you don’t do enough with them...Chetney, you have so much love to give and it doesn't seem like you're interested in anything other than wood! There's people out there who you could love and experiences you could share with someone else, but all you care about is wood!

Orym: I've always kind of laughed it off but I guess I do kind of wonder if Chetney is my dad.

Ashton: I am the reason that the Jiana Hexum robbery went fucking wrong, and the reason why I got thrown out of a fucking window.

Fearne: I feel like we’re very ill-equipped for this job and we're going to fail at saving the world. (Laudna: Honestly that's probably true, I'm right there with you.)

Chetney: While wood may be the superior material to metal, I do fear that, with the dwindling interest in it, that children will find my toys - and thereby myself - obsolete every year I grow older.

FCG: I think it's something buried deep down in my circuitry, but every time I hurt or kill something - it feels really good. It makes me sort of relax a little bit and some of my stress goes away.

Imogen: I know we're supposed to save the gods, but I've tried talking to them my whole life and none of them would ever respond. I think I'm tainted. I dont know if I want to save gods that don't love me.

Laudna: You know we could rip-cord out of [saving the world] at any moment...right? And sometimes I fantasize about it all the time.

Fearne: I sometimes do stuff to you guys while you're sleeping - not weird stuff, I just like to look at you closely...and maybe like, twiddle your hair or braid it. Nothing bad!

Ashton: Whenever it starts to get quiet, I start worrying that one of us - most of us - are going to end up killing another one of us accidentally...I have panicked thinking about when one you kills another one of us.

Orym: I have all the faith in the world in you guys...and I have also spent time thinking of how to neutralize each of you.

FCG: I kinda worry that I put all my eggs in the Changebringer basket and she might betray us all. I had a really weird conversation with her and I think she's just out for herself and she might not really care about me - but what if she does? And I'm saying horrible things?

Imogen: Fearne, I was really disappointed in you for running away from your power. You should take the shard!

Orym: I really miss Dorian, and sometimes I think that's okay, and sometimes I think it isn't.

Ashton: I feel fucking worse that I just fucked up Fearne's life way more than mine and I should've died instead of that happening.

Chetney: I grew up in the Bramblewood outside of Westruun, and when I was a kid, I came back from learning how to make toys and found that my whole family had left. All they left behind were toys. They ran when Errevon the Rimelord was running across the plains, and so I'm kind of afraid of dragons. And I had five siblings - Alabaster, Pepper, Sugarplum, Hermey, and Chad - and I was so mad that they left I never looked for any of them, and now I'm pretty sure they're dead. So I think any family I have is just gonna look for a reason to leave me. That's why I don't get attached to anybody.

[wandanatsgf]

Right Where You Left Me

Pairing: Maid!Wanda x Noble Woman!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Wanda is your maid who you fall head over heels for. But like all good things, you knew it wouldn't last. You knew your life was already decided for you, but that didn't mean you couldn't enjoy your time with her while it lasts.

Warnings: This ends sadly and contains smut. Read at your own risk. Also I wrote this in two hours so there's probably grammar mistakes so pls ignore those.

You had never understood this strange feeling inside of you, the way you would cringe when you danced with a man or when he kissed your knuckles. You didn't understand why the idea of marrying a man brought feelings of dread and despair. You didn't understand how such simple actions from a man could elicit such strong emotions in a woman. And then you met Wanda.

Wanda is your recently hired maid and god is she gorgeous. She has long brown hair and eyes as green as emeralds. You tend to get lost in them quite frequently, much to Wanda's chagrin. And every time her skin touches yours it sets you ablaze, which is what's happening right now.

"Does this corset really need to be so tight?" you complain to Wanda who is helping you get dressed. It's making it really hard to control your slightly labored breathing. Wanda's presence was really doing something to you today.

"I'm sorry my lady but I'm just following your mother's orders," she says apologetically. She continues to help you get dressed and then she gets to work on your hair.

"You know you don't have to call me my lady when we're alone, Wanda. Y/n is fine," you tell her as she fixes a curl that was out of place.

"Ok Y/n," she says, trying it out. Your name sounds so good coming out of her mouth, you could listen to her say it for forever. Unfortunately you have duties to attend to today.

"Thank you for helping me," you say once Wanda announced she was finished.

"It's really no problem, Y/n. It is my job after all."

"Yes I know but it's only right for me to thank you."

Wanda smiles at this and you swear you've never seen a prettier sight.

"Have a good day, Wanda," you say as you open your bedroom door and slip out of sight.

You spent the majority of your day entertaining your parent's guest, Steve, a lord from a neighboring country. You talked with him for hours, however your heart wasn't in it. You could've cared less about what he was saying. You would've much preferred to be reading a book or talking with Wanda. And by dinnertime you were ready to rip your ears off if you had to hear another story about a battle.

"Thank you so much for accepting our invitation," your father says as everyone takes their seat.

"It really mans a lot to us that you rode all the way out here to visit us and our daughter, Y/n," your mother adds.

"The pleasure is all mine," Steve says.

"This actually brings us to an important topic, Y/n," your father says. "We, your mother and I, are hoping you would be open to courting Steve." You knew he wasn't really asking, he was telling.

"I would love to father," you say, lying straight through your teeth.

"Well that settles that. I think this calls for a toast," your father says.

The rest of your night was spent drinking and pretending to be merry, but you couldn't get out of your own head. You knew your parents wanted you to marry soon, and you had put it off for as long as possible. Now you were being set up with Steve and you felt hopeless.

Around midnight you bid your parents and Steve goodnight and headed to your room. Maybe you could cry in peace there, but when you enter you see Wanda waiting for you.

"How was your day?" Wanda asks as she helps you out of your dress.

"Honestly it was horrible. I had to spend the whole day with Steve," you say, your face wrinkling up in disgust.

"He can't be that bad."

"He's not bad...he's just not interesting," you say carefully choosing your words.

"Well men never are," Wanda says. She pulls off one of your many petticoats, accidently grazing your thigh. You let out a low moan and you hope Wanda didn't notice. You don't think she did because she finishes taking it off and sets it off to the side.

"Oh?" you ask. You can't tell if Wanda is giving you a sign or not. Or maybe you're just reading into things.

"Well you know how men are. They just talk about hunting or battles or money. It's all very boring."

"Oh yes of course," you say agreeing with her. Wanda continues to undress you, but your thoughts are still plagued by the awful news you got at dinner today.

"You know my parents wish for me to court and probably marry him and I don't know if I can do it," you blurt out. You hadn't meant for that to come out, but you just feel so safe in Wanda's presence. Despite the short amount of time you've known her, you've grown close to her. At least as close as you've ever been to a person.

"Why not? It's not like there's someone else and Steve could give you a life of luxury." Wanda unties your tight corset and lets it drop off your body.

You think carefully before letting your greatest secret slip. "I don't think I could ever love him, Wanda. Not the way I love you." At this Wanda's hands still and drop to her side.

"Y/n are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I'm in love with you Wanda Maximoff. I know it's wrong and we barely know each other and my parent's would never approve but I can't help how my heart feels."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I mean every word Wanda."

"I'm in love with you too Y/n. I have been since I first started working for you," she admits.

You carefully turn around and plant a soft kiss on Wanda's lips. She tastes like strawberries and you can't get enough.

Wanda pushes her body as close to you as possible, slowly walking the two of you backwards until your body hits a wall. Your thighs open up to make more room for Wanda to position herself between them.

Wanda's lips move from your own to your neck, making you arch your back.

"Please Wanda."

"What do you want baby?"

"I want you to touch me please," you beg.

Wanda obliges and slowly moves her hand down your breasts, fondling them through your undergarments for a minute. You thrust your hips up against her, getting impatient.

"You're just so needy for me aren't you baby?"

"Mhm I just want you so bad Wanda please," you mewl.

Wanda's hand moves to cup your mound and one of her knuckles lightly grazes your clit.

"Is this what you wanted? You want me to touch you right here?"

"Yes Wanda," you breath out. Your loins were on fire and only she could extinguish it.

Wanda slowly rubs her fingers against you and it takes everything in you not to cum then and there. You never thought this would happen, and now that it is you didn't want it to end.

"Let go for me baby. I'll still be here," she says. Her fingers start to move faster against you and it breaks your resolve. You cum in your underwear, moaning like a mad woman.

As you come down, you see Wanda staring at you.

"What?" you ask.

"You just look so beautiful doing that I want to see it again."

This time Wanda gets on her knees between your thighs and slowly pulls your underwear off. She can clearly see your arousal and it turns her on, making her let out a low moan. She lifts your left leg up over her shoulder and dives in.

The wet slurping sounds are unholy but they only turns you on more. Your hands grab onto Wanda's hair and you pull her closer to your heat. Her nose bumps against your clit and your hips thrust against her.

"Right there Wands," you moan out. The brunette woman continues to lick and suck your clit until you finish all over her face.

Wanda slowly works her way up your body, leaving kisses all over your stomach and chest. She makes her way up to your mouth and leaves a soft kiss there.

You gaze into her eyes and see nothing but love and admiration. It makes your heart melt.

"Let me return the favor," you tell her. You swap places with her and gently take off her clothes. Saying she's gorgeous is an understatement. She looks like an angel.

You kiss her as you start to fondle her pussy, messing around to see what she likes. You can feel her moan against your lips and it gives you a surge of pride knowing you're the one making her moan.

You dip one finger into her entrance and you feel her buck her hips against you. Clearly you had a much stronger affect on her than you thought. Her wetness coats your hand.

You thrust your finger inside of her, watching her writhe in ecstasy. It was a sight you knew you would never get sick of. You add another finger and watch as her head rolls back in pleasure. Soon she is cumming and you continue to fuck her through it.

Once she's calmed down you take your fingers out and lick her arousal off of them. She tastes so good, and you tell her as much.

The two of you spend the rest of the night in each other's embrace, enjoying your time together.

You wake up and you think it was all a dream before you look next to you and see a brown mop of hair sleeping next to you. She looks so pretty and peaceful when she sleeps, but you have to wake her up.

"Wanda. Baby. Wake up," you say as you gently shake her.

"Good morning honey," she says.

"Good morning," you say. You lean down and place a kiss on her lips.

'We have to get up y'know," you say as her lips move against yours.

"Just give me one more minute," she says. She continues to kiss you until you can't breathe anymore and you have to pull away.

"Now we really have to get up and get ready," you say.

"Fine," Wanda grumbles.

You each help the other dress and look presentable.

Today you were supposed to hang out with Steve again. The only thing that made that even bearable was the thought of going to bed with Wanda by your side.

"I'll see you tonight," you say as you cradle her face in your hands. You place a passionate kiss against her lips before walking out.

You spend the next couple of weeks like this. You spent your days with a man you hate and your nights with the woman you love, the woman who owns your heart.

"You know we could run away together. We could live in that abandoned cottage near the woods and have a garden and never have a worry again," Wanda says one night. The two of you are cuddling in your bed.

Deep down a part of you knew it was nothing but a dream, but the thought of living with Wanda made your heart soar.

"I want nothing more," you say, never truly thinking Wanda was serious. You lean in and capture her lips with yours.

That night you fall asleep with a pit in your stomach. You still needed to tell Wanda about the now official wedding plans (well your mother was planning a wedding but Steve hadn't proposed yet. You knew it would be soon though), but you would rather live in delusion than end this. And that is what you did, at least until Wanda comes storming into your room a few days later.

"What is this I hear about a wedding between you and Steve?" Wanda questions.

You were currently brushing your hair at your vanity, but you set the brush down when she stormed in.

"There's nothing official but word is he plans on proposing soon and my mother is planning a wedding even though there isn't one yet."

"And you weren't going to tell me?" Wanda asks. You can see the pain and anger on her face and it makes your heart break.

"I was going to eventually Wands. I just couldn't. I couldn't ruin what we have just yet."

"Are you going to deny him Y/n?"

"I-I don't know. I don't know if I can."

"Of course you can Y/n. You have a choice here."

"I don't think I do Wanda."

"Please Y/n," she begs. She begs you to choose her, but you can't let your delusion cloud your judgement anymore.

"I'm sorry Wanda, but we should've known this would never work," you say. You can feel your perfectly applied makeup start to run down your face, but you don't care. You look how you feel, a mess.

"Why wouldn't this work?" You can hear the pain and desperation in her voice.

"Because..." you trail off. You don't want to give her the real reason. You're afraid. Afraid of your family, the townspeople, and a life full of unknowns. You knew that going with her to the cottage the two of you had always talked about would mean giving up everything you have ever known and loved.

"I'm sorry Wanda but I can't leave them and I can't disappoint them." She knew you were talking about your parents.

"You always complain about them controlling you, y/n and you're letting them do it now. Is your happiness really worth their happiness?"

You nod and that is all the confirmation Wanda needs to realize her life was about to fall apart. She was about to lose the love of her life and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Wanda," you say. You fall to the ground in a heap of petticoats and skirts. Wanda moves to comfort you, but she knew that would only make this harder.

"I'm sorry too Y/n," Wanda says. She leaves your chamber and you sob harder. You knew you brought this upon yourself, but that didn't make you feel any better.

The next morning a new maid walks in, telling you Wanda had quit last night. From that day on all of your days blurred together. Time was pointless without her. Living was pointless without her.

Exactly two weeks after you had ended things with Wanda, Steve proposed. You don't even remember saying yes, but you must have because you now have a huge, shiny ring on your finger.

You expected Wanda to come to you after the news of your engagement made it's way through the kingdom, but she never showed.

Maybe if she had came back for you things would be different. Or maybe if you had ran away with her you wouldn't be where you are now. But you had backed yourself into this corner and there was no getting out.

Your dress is beautiful. It's big and poufy and white. But the person at the end of the aisle isn't who you want to see. Instead of emerald eyes you see cerulean. Instead of a smooth face with delicate features you see a rough face with harsh lines. He's all wrong, he's not her. But you made your choice. Your parents and their wishes come first. Maybe in another life you could chase your happiness, but in this one you were chasing theirs.

After the wedding you resided yourself to a life you hated with a man you loathed, even though you knew it wasn't his fault. If only you could feel the same way about Steve that would make life so much easier. But no matter how much you tried to love him you were still repulsed when his lips touched yours or when you laid in bed side by side.

Sometimes you couldn't stop the sobs that would fall at night, knowing you had made a mistake with marrying him. You should've ran away with Wanda, but now it was too late. You had kids to take care of and an estate to run.

Despite that you let yourself dream about the woman you left all those years ago, the woman you still loved. You hoped Wanda had lived a life far more happier life than yours. You hoped Wanda had moved on and found someone else. You hoped Wanda and new her lover lived in the cottage that was meant to be yours's and had a plentiful garden and never wanted for a thing.

However Wanda's reality was much sadder than what you had wanted for her. Wanda spent her days at the cottage by herself, over come with grief. She never moved on. She spent her days gardening, reading, and crying. Everyday she hoped her lover would come back to her. She never did.

[a-living-canvas]

Leaky Fine Print

Maybe it's the torture, or something else, really. Caretaker couldn't pinpoint what exactly happened to their poor Whumpee. But it started after his recovery. Sure, Whumpee was back to eat again, and talk, socialising with people…but Caretaker wouldn't have expected him to be—

"Whumpee, put your legs down."

Caretaker said to the ignorant Whumpee who draped his legs on the table while reading a book. It's not…so Whumpee to be doing that. He's a polite and gentle kind man. But the sigh of frustration coming from him broke Caretaker's heart a little.

"I was asking nicely."

"I know."

"Then why the—"

"Why the attitude? Caretaker, can you mind your own business? You are not my parents."

Stunned, Caretaker huffed out a sigh and stood up from the couch before they walked to the kitchen. Whumpee leaned back on the couch, grumbling.

"[curse word]"

Caretaker stopped on their track. Their fists trembled slightly as they fought back tears. This is too much, Whumpee is too much.

Caretaker turned to face Whumpee, a look of anger evidenced on their face. They took a deep breath, their voices came out sharp with a hint of vulnerability in it.

"You are being very rude right now, you know?"

Whumpee raised an eyebrow, looking at Caretaker with a slight glare. The same way Whumper would do every time Whumpee tried to act defiance. "And who are you to tell me that?"

"Whumpee, this is not—"

Whumpee slammed the book shut against the table, startling Caretaker. He gritted his teeth, jaw clenching as he could feel the frustration bubbling at the back of his throat.

"You don't know anything about me. How much I suffer, the things that Whumper made me do. His mind games, his…all the disgusting things he did to me." Whumpee stood up from the couch, closing his distance with Caretaker who immediately backed away. "I was going through horrible things and you don't even care about me."

Caretaker's eyes widened, "No, no no Whumpee I do care about you! It's just…you…you've changed…! And I…I miss you…"

Caretaker tried to grab Whumpee's arm but the other just shoved them away. "It's Whumper, okay? It's all because of Whumper that I become like this." He sighed, looking at Caretaker with a tired expression, "Is that so hard to understand?"

~

"Shh…shh…I know. It's okay, I will talk to him, hm?" Team Leader said, rubbing Caretaker's back gently. Whumpee who was just about to return to his room stopped walking as he heard a few sobs coming from the living room. 

Peering behind the wall, he saw Caretaker crying on Team Leader's shoulder. Was…was it because of him?

"I-I don't know what happened to him, he's just…gone!"

Uh oh. Maybe it was because of him. He made Caretaker cry. That's enough to make his heart clenched uncomfortably inside. Maybe he should— no, no. It's not his fault. It's Whumper's.

Whumpee entered his bedroom, plopping down on the bed with a loud sigh. He didn't want to admit it, but it kind of bothered him a little. He shouldn't feel guilty about it…right?

Whumper was the one who made him like this, like him now. And it felt so good and…powerful. He could stand up for himself because of Whumper, he didn't have to burden himself with other people's problems anymore because of Whumper. 

Whumper, whumper, whumper

"It's not me…" Whumpee closed his eyes tightly, burying his face deeper on the bed sheet as the guilt slowly gnawed at him. But deep deep down in his heart, he knew it wasn't true. 

~

Prompt idea by @karmaiscalledsunny

~

@nothing-but-glitter-and-lashes @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @failgiao891 @jennyyy007 @possumhoe @theforeverdyingperson @heyyitsworld @risk606 @valravnthefrenchie @firebourne21

@electrons2006♡

[supercorpkid]

How You Get the Girl - part 2

Supergirl. Lena Luthor x Reader!

Word Count: 2995.

Part 1

Notes: should I do another part? Would anyone be interested in a part 3?

You make your way to a new Earth, with a quick search you find out that the DEO is still active. Lena works for them and Supergirl doesn’t, which makes way more sense than the other way around.

“Hey, there you are!” One of the agents greets you with a lab coat with your name on it. “Ms. Luthor is waiting for you in lab 3.”

“Oh, I’m not —“ you breathe deep. “Heh, you know what? Whatever. Which way?”

“Lab 3?” He repeats as if you’re supposed to know. Then points in a direction when he draws no reaction from you. “That way.”

“Thanks!” You put on the lab coat that clearly doesn’t belong to you, and follow the direction he pointed to. “Hey Lena!”

“Oh.” Lena says, not looking up from the experiment before her. “Look who is finally on time!”

“No one’s ever complained about my tardiness before.” You complain half to yourself, half to Lena.

“Not to your face.” Her response comes quickly and you roll your eyes to it. "Take your place, please." She looks at the chair and you make your way there.

"So, why do I have a lab coat with my name on it? I'm not a scientist."

"God, no. Thank God, no." Lena says and you roll your eyes at her one more time, unamused. "You're my guinea pig."

"Cute." You already don't think this will be your favorite Lena.

Lena throws one look back at you, then clicks something on her computer. She looks at the cameras and you follow her gaze to see they no longer have a red light on, so that probably means she shut them down. "Did either J'onn or Kara see you coming in?"

"No."

"Does Alex know where you are?"

"I don't think so, no."

"Great." Lena turns around, straddling your lap, and she holds you face with both hands before kissing you so hard, you're almost left with no air inside you. 

"Wait, wait." You try while she kisses down your neck, and her hands make way under your shirt. "I'm not your Y/N! I'm not –" Your brain refuses to work while her cold fingers slide on your bare skin. "I'm from a different universe!"

Lena takes her face from the crook of your neck and looks at you in disbelief. "Is this another excuse for us not to make out anymore?" She sounds uninterested. "Are you feeling bad for Alex again?"

"Why would I feel bad for Alex?" 

"Because she is your wife?" Comes in the form of a question. Like a duh.

"WHAT!" You push Lena from your lap and stand up in a hurry. "I'm married in this universe and you and I –"

You look disgusted, but Lena just stares at you like she is waiting for your tantrum to be over. "We're horrible people!"

"Ok. Ok. I see what's happening. Alex did something sweet and now you want to break things off and then in a couple of days you're gonna call me again." She sounds nonchalant about it, and you're almost throwing up while hearing it. 

"Oh no." You hold back the vomit on your mouth. "Hell no. I can't be stuck in this. I'm gonna get far away from you. You and Y/N from this Earth are both disgusting and messed up. I hope you know this." You take off the lab coat that doesn't belong to you and run so fast, you miss your counterpart walking in the DEO at the exact same time.

You land on a different Earth. It takes you a lot more investigation to find out where Lena is, and it's almost as if she is hiding. But you're a good reporter, you know Lena pretty well, so you manage to find her in a secret lab.

"Hey Lena." You have a smile on your face that soon fades when a gun is pointed to your head.

"You have ten seconds to tell me how you found me here, before I kill you." Lena's expression at you tells you she is not joking. She really means it.

"Shit. Wrong Earth. Wrong Earth." You fumble with your ring and thank God you get out of that place in less than ten seconds.

By the tenth trip it has gotten easier. Find Lena. Check if she doesn't hate you; if one of you is not married; if you two are actually gay; if the thought of you together doesn't make her gag. Explain who you are. Ask for advice. Get out of it empty handed. 

Everything becomes a blur, and your memories start to merge the different worlds together. The many Lenas you've met seem so different that none of them resemble your Lena anymore. In fact, the confusion in your mind grows so intense that you begin to forget what your Earth and your Lena truly look like. But you won't quit.

You arrive in yet another world. You've seen it all. Earths where Lena doesn't love you, ones that she is straight, others she is with Kara, and in some you and her are together. Though those weren't exactly helpful. If anything, they added to your confusion and desperation. Are you ever gonna get the girl?

In this reality, Lena is the head of CatCo, making her your boss—a less than ideal situation, to say the least. You drag your sorry ass one more time, to face yet another disappointment, you're sure.

"Y/N!" Lena smiles when you wander into her office. It's late, most employees have left already, but there's a handful of people still preparing to leave. "I thought you had called a day." She looks at her watch. "A couple of hours ago."

You wait, is there a kiss coming your way? Are you going to stop it before it happens this time or are you going to pretend you don't want it to happen after it does? The kiss doesn't come. This Lena is waiting on your response from the exact same place, which probably means you two aren't together in this universe.

You collapse onto her beige couch, letting out a huge sigh. You're so tired of this hopeless crusade. Perhaps you and Lena were never meant to end up together. Maybe the versions of you that actually got the girl are a fluke. Glitches in the system.

"Darling," She comes closer. "are you ok?"

"No. God, no. I'm not ok." You raise your head to see Lena's worried features, while she hovers over you. "Before I say anything, I need to warn you I'm not your Y/N. I'm from another Earth, and this is probably the 15th one that I visited so far. So I'm exhausted and far from ok, and I just want to cry."

Lena blinks. Green eyes framed with dark eyeliner, pink lips slightly open, so confused. Her straight, dark hair falls around her face, and you can't help but to steal a look at her incredibly inappropriate cleavage for show.

"Just call your Y/N if you don't believe me."

"No, I –" She sits next to you, calmly. "I believe you." Lena purses her lips, staring at your watery eyes. "So, how come you want to cry?"

You blink your tears away. "I love you." You breathe out. "Well, not you exactly. But you, from my Earth. But you don't love me back, and I've been everywhere trying to find one universe where it all worked out. Where you didn't love me, but I could – I somehow won you over." The tears are now streaming down your face without your control, and you don't even bother cleaning them. She stares at you with wide eyes. "But what if you and I are never supposed to work? What if Lena is never supposed to love me back?" Your breath shudders and you can't barely get your words out. "What if this is it?"

Lena licks her lips, unable to respond. You're unsure of the endgame here; you're merely using this Lena to finally unload your emotions.

"How do I just bury this feeling so deep down, when it wants nothing but to exist?"

The question falls heavy from your mouth. Loaded with more than heartbreak and it can be felt from the way your words sound. Lena feels it too. Surely, the whole world would be able to feel it. 

"You don't." She whispers back and you startle with the sound of her voice. You didn't think she would answer. "Y/N, I –" Lena breathes deep, gathering all of her courage. "I love you too. Well, you know what I mean. But on this Earth, you and Kara are dating."

"Yikes." Not yikes as in gross, but also, yes somewhat. Because you and Kara? That's weird and absurd and like dating a sister. But also yikes, cause you've landed on a universe where Lena loves you but she also didn't get the girl. "I'm sorry. I guess the last thing you needed was me crying on your couch about how much I love you."

She chuckles, looking up to hold back the tears. "God, this is so surreal." She turns to you like she's telling a secret. "I bought this company for you."

"Oh! You did that for Kara in my universe." You give her a watery laugh. "That's so very Lena of you." After a moment's thought, you lean in with a whispered revelation yourself. "I almost killed your brother to defend you. And trust me, I don't kill."

"Yeah, you – you did that for Kara here." 

You and Lena fall into a weird silence. You notice from the corner of your eye that a few tears started falling on her face and you make a move to clean it up. She holds her breath to it, and her eyes flutter closed when your thumb brush softly against her skin.

She is not your Lena, but God, do they look the same, sound the same, and even smell the same. She is everything your Lena is, plus one huge difference: she is in love with a Y/N.

"I have an idea." You whisper, not to startle her, then move your finger away.

She doesn't open her eyes to whisper back, "Please, don't say Parent Trap."

"Hey!" You defend yourself earning a heartly laugh from her end. "Parent Trap is always a solid idea."

Lena looks at you fondly, while trying to sound annoyed. "God, Y/N."

"No, that wasn't it." You actually defend yourself this time, and she sits up straighter, looking at you curiously. "I love you and you love me. Sounds like an easy fix."

"No." Her voice comes as if she is talking to a toddler. "I love you from this universe, and you love me from your universe. We're all different individuals."

"Not that different. You knew I could say the Parent Trap idea, you bought a company for someone you love and I almost killed for someone I love." She only blinks at you in utter disbelief. "Oh, come on. You're still Lena! You're absurdly smart, and beautiful. You call me darling, and laugh when I say something silly. And I am still me, I'm –" You can't find the words to describe yourself.

"You're a bright light everywhere you step in. You're the only one that makes me laugh so hard. You're the most charming person I've ever met, and you have terrible ideas and try to pass them off as good." You laugh when she says that. 

"What? I don't –"

"You've been to 15 different Earths just to find a way to make your Lena love you, instead of just talking to her about it."

"Yeah, whatever. Like you're so perfect being filthy rich and buying companies as a form of love." She chuckles again and you stare at her with renewed intent. "Come on, it's not that crazy. We can find out the differences between our counterparts, but I doubt there's anything you've done that would make me stop loving you."

"My scientist mind says this is the craziest thing someone has ever told me."

"But the stupid part that made you fall in love with me, says…"

Lena inhales deep, then lets it all out in one breath. "That I'd die for your kiss."

You've kissed many Lenas from different universes. Short and sweet kisses, big and passionate ones, and completely wrong ones as well. You can help that your heart beats almost out of your chest in anticipation for this one. This Lena, she's so much like the one you fell for, but there's an ineffable quality about her, something more. Without even a kiss, you sense that if she isn't the one for you as well, then no other Lena will ever be.

The office is bathed in a soft, dim light. The last employee left a few minutes ago, leaving you both in an oddly calm, private CatCo. You draw Lena's face close to you, feeling her hold her breath in sync with yours.

"What if this is it?" Lena asks and you realize she has different worries than yours. But you know, regardless of the uncertainty – whether this is going to be it, or not – the only way to have the answer is by kissing her.

The moment seems to stand still, as the question reveals to be the answer itself. Time stretched out so thin through the space between your lips. And you smile to yourself as the gap between you two doesn't feel insurmountable anymore. 

Lena closes the distance. It feels impossible to believe that you two haven't known each other all your lives, when the dance of your lips and tongues moves in perfect harmony. The kiss is explosive and urgent, as if it has been in the making for years. Breathless, desperate, and exploratory. It's everything, and it's only the start.

You part your lips, staring at her from so close the only thing you can look at is her glossy eyes. "I'll die." She whispers so close to your mouth you're sharing the same breath. "I'll die a little death if I can't have you again."

The floor seems to open under you, as your heart flies to your mouth beating so fast it's ringing loudly in your ears. And you cease to exist in many universes to just exist right here, in this moment.

This is it. This is love. The love you've been jumping around from one universe to another to find. The love you've been dying to have and you know it. You shared one kiss and you are sure of it.

Lena swallows a tear, a question, a whirlwind of thoughts going through her mind as she kisses you again. Then again. And each kiss becomes more passionate, more certain. It's so right it binds you two deeper and stronger at every lip and tongue and breath shared. It can't be undone. 

Lena has a million questions and you know that, can see it in her eyes, and God you have them too. How can you erase your histories? Is it as easy as this? As easy as sharing a kiss so right that defying the boundaries of many universes cease to matter? 

But you know, God, you know it's just the start. It's the start of a chain reaction that makes your heart feel alive and complete. It doesn't matter anymore if she is your Lena, because she is the Lena.

"How will this even work?" she whispers against your lips, but deep down, you both know—it will work, it must work. Nothing can stop it now.

"I don't know. God, I don't care." You answer between kisses, your breathless words expressing a certainty that defies logic. "I just know it will."

It's many, many kisses later that you both fall into a less desperate silence, tangled up in each other's arms as if this is the 100th time you've found yourselves in this position. You don't have to talk to know you're both thinking the same thing. How will this work?

"I have an idea." Your eyes widen and you untangle yourself from your place on her chest, so you can look into her eyes.

"Here we go again." She jokes lightly, but you know she trusts this idea will be just as good as the last one.

"I've been to one universe where I didn't exist. I don't know what happened to me there. If I was never born or if I'd died. But you existed and Kara was your best friend, and all of you would work in a Tower, and there was this guy Brainy, instead of Winn… Anyways." You stop your ranting when you realize you're getting a little side tracked. "I'm sure there's one Earth out there where both you and I don't exist. We could just –"

"Go to another world and start fresh. No two of you, no two of me. Just you and I making a name for ourselves." Lena completes and you smile at her, happy she understood exactly where you were going with this.

"I mean, you're stupidly smart and I have powers. Surely we can make a life for ourselves anywhere." You stop yourself when an idea crosses your mind. No, not anywhere. You smile. "And I know just where."

"You would do that?" Lena blinks, her question isn't coming from a place of confusion. She knows you would do exactly that and some more. The question is coming from a place of complete adoration.

"I'm dying to believe that you won't be the death of me." She kisses you one more time to be sure. And it's obvious. Every single time it's even more fated.

"What about everyone else on our Earths? Wouldn't we miss them?"

You show her your ring. "Have a portal –"

"Will travel." She completes it.

Yeah. This one. This one is your Lena.

[novembermorgon]

Op i desperately need to know about your bolton oc(s) for they are beginning to haunt my waking dreams 🙏 i humbly ask for your intel 🙏

FIRST OFF … thank you so much for the interest ive been really rotating them in my brain lately so it means a lot to hear you like them (��ƪ˘ﻬ˘)

i originally made them for funsies last year for a fic i didnt end up writing but i've gotten back into the swing of it so when i figure out how to put a story together i'll put it out there . for now... > here's a proper doodle of their fits i put together .

their names are ysabel and cayn bolton - their parents are maisie manderly and alaric bolton ( x ) . cayn is ~20 and ysabel is a few years younger but don't ask me about specifics because i ...... <3 haven't figured the timeline out yet .

ysabel is a severe case of troubled youth as a result of being raised in a household that centers its identity around the concept of flaying people . their dad is kind of balls off the wall nutso and insists very early on that both his kids have to uphold their family history and identity which leads to both of them being exposed to excessive violence before they really should have been and it definitely gets to her the most . at the core she's kind of squishy and more delicate than you'd imagine from the horrendous dead stare she has > growing up she definitely struggled more than cayn to deal with growing up in the environment she did > she has frequent delusions of what is basically a reanimated skin of a man that follows her around and gets in the way when she's especially stressed out . physical representation of the terror of her father's ambition and actions etc

she's kind of quiet and weird and doesn't have many friends aside from her brother but she IS very polite and well-mannered as is expected of a noble lady . very influenced by having a manderly mother in that she leans a little more into expectations of women as framed by the faith of the seven . likes poetry and embroidery and whatever else she's been told to like and is determined not to step outside her box of expectation . eventually spirals into further delusion of the religious kind when she gets to king's landing and things start to devolve politically > the spiral and downfall of what being a proper lady in medieval society means . her first encounter with aemond targaryen is in the king's landing gardens where she thinks he's about to attack her so she bites a chunk out of his neck so do with that as you will

cayn on the other hand is by all accounts outwardly pretty Normal . he's charming and an open book and very easy to get along with if you can disregard the ever lingering Blue Eyed Stare . being the oldest son just like ysabel he has a very specific set of expectations put on him but in a very different way . should uphold a clear image of being like his dad and learns to fight and hunt and rule but it all ends up being very fake . you look him in the eye while you chat about northern alliances and how to make sure this and that lord is satisfied and hes smiling but there is nothing behind those damn eyes .

definitely does not help that ... he IS a homosexual <3 both of them are meant to be people who put up very firm appearances of being well-adjusted, matching expectations essentially perfectly - only to have those expectations torn down entirely when they're strained enough . going to sound like a fucking insane thing to say but cayn to me is very medieval patrick bateman - in the sense that he's obsessed with appearances and what others think of him, but it's all just a means of covering up the fact that he is 2 seconds away from snapping and killing someone or himself at all times . i have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. something horrible is happening inside of me and i don't know why. my nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. i feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip etc, if you will .

the plot here is a little lost on me because i havent written it all out yet and i cant keep information in my mind for longer than a second but it's essentially dance of the dragons but if i took all the events and scrambled them around and made it completely different . ´･ᴗ･` more book-focused than show-focused at least in terms of the characterization of people like aemond and alicent (i like when they're a little meaner and more crude . my bad ...)

before the war begins - the greens plot away, realizing viserys is not going to name aegon heir even as his health worsens and tensions become more apparent at court. more political action is taken here with the starks declaring for rhaenyra in any matters of succession much earlier - working counter to this is a little already-formed cluster of northern houses that kind of band together under the boltons with the help of some marriage ties and general disagreements with the starks (ie ysabel + cayn's dad is married to a manderly, cayn eventually gets betrothed to a karstark before the starks can snap them up a generation later as they do in canon). with the north kind of silently divided the greens reach out with the intent to form an alliance there with the promise that the boltons will be given the spot as wardens of the north when the war eventually ends knowing full well when viserys kicks the bucket things are going to spiral without question . they accept and head down south - which obviously makes for even more tensions considering they're still stark bannermen . everyone is a little bit or more than a little bit mad at each other and viserys dies and things spiral as usual .

ysabel marries aemond to secure that northern alliance , goes to storms end and promises daeron + lands and wealth to make up for the fact he can't marry one of borros daughters himself, lucerys dies etc and well ........... i need to iron out some wrinkles . <3

as for their relationships obviously as mentioned ysabel marries aemond and its Weird . she really likes him but in a weird almost obsessive way . watches him from afar before they even get introduced officially and sits awake at night and stares at him and i think part of it is because she doesn't know how to approach . wants to be affectionate and loving but also wants things to be on her own terms while also knowing that the circumstances (WAR) doesn't allow for that to the extent she wants so she's at a loss at what to do . which manifests in Being strange . with both these relationships there's a touch of strange hunter prey dynamics and here its definitely more laid back than with cayn and aegon . you watch from afar but never strike . you learn someone's patterns and habits and the threat of having that used against you is always present but te tension only ever builds and never comes to a peak .

because ysabel is very tall and slender and kind of gangly she struggles a lot with pregnancy and when they eventually do have a child it's a girl . which she's intensely conflicted about . you have a child put in your arms and theres a moment of complete joy that turns just as quickly into horror because she believes so firmly that a son would have been what makes her husband and her family happier . sort of anne boelyn esque . she ends up with health issues and a line of lost pregnancies after that before having a son who is incredibly weak and sickly and doesn't make it into adulthood . horrorshow in the capital here

cayn and aegon ........... scratches my chin. on account of being gay in westeros it's obviously very different . aegon is married and cayn is betrothed and still i think cayn meets him and it's a case of well i will die before i give up being able to be with you . they're kind of similar on the surface in that they bond over sort of skipping out on court duties and prefer to spend time out in king's landing . a lot of watching aegon give out his attention to others freely and getting nothing in return (because shockingly you have to initiate sometimes instead of staring at someone you like longingly and looking like a creep) . again that sense of not knowing how to approach just like ysabel . a slow buildup of shared glances and mutual want that you both know will never be okay to anyone but the two of you . cayn wants to hunt and kill him and tear him apart and make out sloppy with him because it's all he can do to show that affection . violence in place of love in a society that would never accept your happiness .

when that hurdle of Figuring out they're both a little homo for each other is crossed they're definitely more direct than ysabel and aemond . very heavy handed physical affection moreso than verbal or emotional signs. rip at each others flesh but never express all the things you'd do for each other . share desperate fumbling kisses in some back alley but don't begin to think about what it might be like to run off and never be seen again or how differently youd be able to see each other if one of you happened to be a woman . i <3 medieval homosexuality !

THAT'S ABOUT ALL. sorry this was a whole load of nothing but i loved getting to ramble about them . final notes are some design pointers

the little eyes on the necklace ysabel wears + the eye on the armour design i did for cayn is meant to be similar to 18th century lover's eye jewelry! : -) essentially a form of affection in literally carrying a lover's gaze with you . i think it's very bolton esque

cayn has a little gold ring to tie back to aegon . and the earring is meant to look like a drop of blood

the armour is his dad's . he dies like halfway through the war and i think it's very telling to have the deeply imperfect son don his dad's fit after he dies . bad fathers who haunt their children etc

he does go off to fight in the war as well hence the scars and the hair . loses parts of his arm as well as parts of his face (lip + his eye is injured so he doesn't see very well) . unfortunately the rat tail had to go but it pains me as well

the white gown instead of black for mourning i think was mostly just for aesthetics (tough to fit with the dark background) but also has SOME intent behind it . atp ysabel ends up barely existing as a person properly as per what war does to someone especially when they're already struggling - it's meant to be a nightgown because she rarely gets dressed beyond that . white was also historically a mourning colour in specific countries in specific eras of history and i do really like that . gives sort of sad miserable ghost in the castle vibes idk

[rosazoldyckk]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐗 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⚠️TW⚠️ Mentions of the reader thinking they are useless and unworthy, reader pretty much hating on themselves.

PS: YOU ARE WORTHY!! You are awesome asf so please don't let this fanfic trigger any negative thoughts! you are worthy, capable and fucking spectacular and pls don't forget that!! Love you sm ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

1095 words

You had no one before him. Everyone else had left you. Eventually you gave up in trying to convince them to stay. Nobody tried approaching you due to your closed off nature. No one but him. Chrollo Lucilfer, the head of the infamous phantom troupe, or Chrollo as he likes you to call him.

You knew something was off about him, but you didn't care, because he was the only one who was willing to get to know you and stayed after finding out more about you. Even if what he did was somehow considered borderline stalking. You didn't give a damn. It was nice having someone try for you, after so long of no one trying.

You don't deserve him.

Soon afterwards he convinced you to move in with him, which you agreed to. Ever since then your daily life has been confined to his estate. You didn't mind of course; you were glad someone cared enough for you. But also, guilty. He shouldn't love someone like you. Someone so horrible and disgusting. Someone who could barely do anything right.

You don't deserve him.

You wish you could do something to repay all he's done for you. But surely you would just mess it up like you do with everything else. You don't want to be more of an inconvenience than you already are. Why didn't he pick someone else? Someone much more talented or prettier than you? Surely, he could do better. It still confuses you to this day.

You don't deserve him.

You feel weak. You wanted to believe him, but you couldn't. You truly were a terrible person. But you couldn't help but continue to be suspicious of his intentions. What if he runs away from you after realising how horrible you are? What happens then? You'll have no one. You need him. You pray to all the God's imaginable that he'll never realise how ugly and useless you truly are inside. Maybe he already knows and is toying with you? Your mind keeps swirling with all these terrifying thoughts, making you want to bite your fingers off with fear in case any of it turned out to be true.

You don't deserve him.

You feel tears stream down your face. You try your best not to let out any noise. Even if no one is home. It hurts so much. Why did you have to burden everyone with your existence? The hate red you had for yourself was immense. Tears continued streaming down as you wiped your nose. You hated this. This lonely, suffocating feeling but you were always too scared to reach out. You wanted him to be here, holding you tightly in his warm embrace as he allowed you to cry into the fur of his coat, whispering sweet words of kindness into your ear. It was a selfish wish you know but you can't help it. You wanted him to bruise you with his kisses, to be lacerated open and stitched together, sharing both blood and skin. You wanted to lock your lips to his with no intention of breaking from one another. You continued crying. You longed to sink into the endless depths of hell with him if it meant you could belong to him in peace, but what God thought thought you were deserving of something so blissful?

Out of nowhere you feel a pair of familiar arms wrap around you.

"I'm sorry I took so long, my love. Now tell me, why are you crying?"

You back away, trying to escape. But his grip was firm. It felt like you would never leave his embrace.

"I don't deserve you... Why are you doing this!?"

"Hmm, because I love you. And of course, you deserve me. My standards are high, but regardless you are the one that I love."

"But I'm worthless! Someone as useless as me doesn't deserve to be worthy of your time! Please Chrollo...don't burden yourself with me..."

"I'll tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me. You're none of these things your mind tells you. You are mine and I love you." He hugged you tighter, placing a firm kiss on your temple. "Even if others may think that. I will never. I promise."

You just sat there in his arms processing everything. You never knew how to respond to him. He's always so kind around you.

"But surely you could find someone better than me. I'm sure of it. One day you'll find someone who can give you everything I could only dream of giving to you." You sniffled, trying to hold back the tears.

"Even if I did, I would still choose you. No matter what. Because you are the one that I love."

"Are you sure? You aren't lying, are you Chrollo? Please promise me?"

"I promise you from the bottom of my heart. I would never lie to you." He paused for a second. "Come on my love, it's getting late. Let's get you to bed."

"Okay..."

He stopped hugging you and took your hand. He led you to your shared room. His hand were always so warm and comforting. He led you into bed, and you two just held each other, resting your head on the crook of his neck as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

"You are the beginning and end of who I am. You are everything I could ever care for and more. I'll rip my own veins out before I can love another. I'll praise every hair on your head, every breath you take, every glance you give my way. I'll never allow you to feel worthless again, love. You are my salvation. Your voice is my mantra, Your body is my church. I abandoned the faith of God a long time ago, but if it meant I could forever keep you close within arms reach, then I'll cry my prayers to the heavens for all to hear. Because I want you. I need you."

You really don't deserve him, but maybe for tonight you will allow yourself to believe. Allow yourself to hope that maybe you are worthy of him. Even if it's for a short time. You are at peace.

[lacyscabinet]

OML I NEEEEDD

Teen Nat x teen pregnant reader

WHERE READER IS STARTING TO GROW UNCOMFORTABLE IN HER BODY, AND NAT COMFORTS HER

Sorry this is the second request I said 😓😓😓

A/N: OMG!? not gonna lie, I was a bit taken back by this request cause I've never written anything for pregnant reader BUTTTT I tried my best to make something enjoyable!!! <3 (Also I saw your other request and WOAH it's crazy, I LOVE it, I just thought to put this out first because the other is a bit darker and I need some time to use it at the best of it's potential)

MASTERLIST

Pretend

Studying.

You were supposed to study.

And yet why were Nat's hands cradling your face?

"mmmm..." you hummed into the kiss, feeling Nat's soft lips on yours.

You were on your bed, math notes tossed to the side, Nat almost on top of you, careful to hold most of her weight with her stretched arm to avoid hurting you.

Her hand moved to rest on your thigh, covered by your skirt, her thumb softly rubbing the fabric, causing you to blush.

"You're so cute" she mumbled, sneaking her hand to rest at the hem of your shirt, slowly starting to take it off.

Taken back by it, you swiftly moved her hand to rest back on your thigh,

"weird" Nat though for a second, but then you grabbed the back of her neck pulling her closer and all her thoughts faded

Again, in the heat of the moment, she tugged at your shirt, and again, you shifted her hand and placed it on the bed, this time Nat pulled away

"Okay what's wrong babe?" She asked, you simply shrugged "Nothing"

Nat looked at you with a knowing look, raising her eyebrows, you exhaled loudly and got up, your own hands hesitantly reached up and went to your shirt, rolling it causing your belly to show,

In that moment Nat understood.

The bump wasn't prominent but it was starting to show, something that was predictable since you just hit week twenty of pregnancy

"oh..." she said "yeah... sexy" you answered sarcastically looking down at your tummy with a disgusted look, Nat frowned "You can't help it babe, it's natural...I mean...there is literally a baby in there"

"Don't say that" you said, instantly turning your head to the side, not wanting to face the truth just yet "I look horrible... I've been bloated before, but this..." you paused "god...I hate it"

Natalie really didn't know what to say, what can you say to a pregnant teenager who is growing a literal human inside of her?

She held out her hands, intertwining them with yours, trying to ease your nerves

"You're still gorgeous to me" she said, careful with her words, you looked at her in disbelief "You don't have to lie"

She looked at you, almost offended "I'm not lying, I'm a hundred percent honest, you are beautiful, babe, really"

that made you smile, it always made you smile when she tried to make you feel better "Thank you" you said in an hushed voice, tears threatening to spill from your eyes

As soon as she noticed, Nat hugged you "It's okay" she whispered in your ear, rubbing your back.

And as much as you wanted to believe it, you knew that whatever was happening wasn't okay, but maybe pretending for a little longer would make you feel better, and at the moment feeling better was enough.

A/N: writing this was a rollercoaster :)

[hrefna-the-raven]

Heart of Steel

Fallout masterlist - main masterlist

Chapter 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

Song for this chapter:

Summary: Maxson suffers through his hangover and makes preparations for the last evening before he'll need to let you travel to the Glowing Sea

Notes: a bit of an inbetween chapter, the next chapter will move faster through the story to finally move it up to Blind Betrayal :)

Warnings: smut (18+)

Chapter 9 - The morning-after-date

Maxson groaned, the throbbing headache along with knocks felt like a jackhammer demolishing the inside of his head. Despite the lack of response, Cade decided to enter and walked towards Maxson who buried his face into the pillow.

"Not now", he grumbled.

"I'm sorry Elder, but I'm here on behalf of a worried Knight. I  don't care how she knew, but given the state you're in, it was the right call to send me."

Reluctantly, Maxson allowed Cade to pull him up to sit on the bed. His eyes, bloodshot and weary, met Cade's concerned gaze.

"What do you want, Cade?", Maxson asked, his voice tinged with both annoyance and despair.

Cade reached into his leather bag and rummaged around, searching for something. After a moment, he pulled out a glass bottle containing a blueish liquid and held it out to Maxson.

"My very own anti-hangover recipe", he offered a gentle smile, "as to what I want, you instructed me to keep track of every soldier's mental health, which includes you as well. So you want to tell me what happened?"

Cade grabbed a chair from the desk, pulled it up to the bed and took a seat, watching Maxson inspecting the liquid before taking a sip.

"This is horrible", Arthur complained, the disgust on his face evident.

"Worse than the headache?", Cade asked, chuckling as he saw Maxson shake his head.

The room was filled with a heavy silence, broken only by the sound of Arthur's deep breaths. He looked at Cade, his gaze filled with hesitation, knowing the weight of his words as soon as they were spoken. With a resigned sigh, he began to recount the events around you that had led them to this moment. His voice quivered as he confessed that the weight of leadership and the constant struggle to balance it with his love for you had become almost unbearable. The responsibility of the Brotherhood's future rested on his shoulders while the desire for intimacy and love tore at him and it had taken a toll on him. Cade sat in attentive silence, his face a mask of neutrality, as he listened to the Elder's every word. When the Elder had finished, the doctor looked at him for a moment, a gentle smile forming on his lips before he spoke up.

"Arthur," he began, his tone gentle yet firm, "your burden is not yours alone to bear. We are a Brotherhood and we stand together, which also includes her now. I can assure you if you'd know what your soldiers are doing in their free time while still performing their duty with best consciousness, you'd be less worried about all this. Why do you keep torturing yourself? If you're in love with her, just tell her and see where is goes. It won't prevent you from being the Elder, you can still chase us all around."

Maxson chuckled at the last sentence. The doctor was right and it wouldn't matter that he had no experience on the matters of love, you never judged him for it, so all that held him back from gaining a little happiness in his life was he himself. He tapped the doctor's shoulder, thanking him for the advice and before he headed out, Arthur had to promise him to take care of himself and talk sooner next time.

You dedicated the entire day to enhancing and repairing your power armour. You had planned on checking in on Maxson but as you would head out to the Glowing Sea tomorrow and dying of radiation poisoning wasn't on your to do list, you postponed your visit to this evening. After a refreshing shower, you swiftly made your way back to your quarters. However, you came to a sudden halt when you noticed a neatly folded crimson fabric and a piece of paper resting on your bed. Intrigued, you examined the items more closely and discovered that it was a flared scarlet dress accompanied by a message. The hastily scribbled note simply stated: 20.00 Control tower. A grin danced on your lips as you had strong suspicions about who had left this here and you wasted no time slipping into the dress. Crafted from a soft garish red fabric, it hung snug around your chest, perfectly highlighting your cleavage, whereas from the hips downwards, it flared out gracefully, falling just above your knee. You put on some make-up, stepped into a pair of well preserved black ballerinas you found during your travels through the Wastelands and you made your way towards the control tower, excitement mingled with nervousness in the pit of your stomach. You couldn't help but wonder what awaited you at the top of the tower.

Finally, the elevator doors opened, and the sight that unfolded before your eyes left you in awe. The control tower was transformed into an enchanting setting, bathed in soft glowing lights that illuminated the space with a warm, romantic ambiance. Countless candles flickered and cast dancing shadows on the walls, creating an ethereal atmosphere. And then, you noticed him. Standing there, dressed impeccably in a pair of black suit trousers and a tight white shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, was the person you had suspected all along. Maxson awaited you with a gentle smile on his face. His eyes locked with yours, full of affection and a hint of desire as he took in the sight of you in that dress.

"Surprised?", he chuckled, taking a step towards you, his hands sliding around your waist to pull you into a hug.

You hummed in agreement, closing your eyes, inhaling his sweet scent before you took a step back again, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Do you remember yesterday evening?", you asked hesitantly.

"Why do you think I spent most of my day redecorating this tower?"

"Oh I don't know...perhaps you got up this morning and decided your grand plans to save the Commonwealth needed a more artistic flair?"

"I woke up with a pounding headache and Cade's disapproving glare thanks to a certain Knight", he joked, "I think said Knight may need to have a serious conversation with her superior."

The sultry tone of his voice went straight to your core. Placing a hand on his chest, a sly smile formed on your lips.

"Perhaps her superior should take care of that then", you whispered, your eyes darting between his and his mouth.

Maxson grew tired of the self-imposed restrictions, the desperation and fear, he only cared for you right now and he leaned in, his lips crashing on yours in a hungry kiss, finally letting go of all that was holding him back. His hands glided down your sides, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your butt. You gasped as he lifted you up, moving a few steps forward to settle you down on one of those faint blue pre-war machines. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching yours for any sign of approval.

"So, you wanted to talk to me", a mischievous grin formed on your lips, "here we are and I'm all yours", you purred, your hand trailing over his chest, "Elder."

Maxson let out a deep groan, pressing his forehead against yours and you could feel his grip on your thighs tighten. He had never thought the sound of his title could ever arouse him like this but every word leaving that irresistible mouth of yours had the potential to drive him crazy.

"Knight", he breathed, his lips trembling ever so slightly, "I...I..."

He tried to ignore his lust, the sweet temptation of your hand caressing the bulge in his pants, he had to resist for the sake of the most important words he'd ever speak.

"I love you", he took a deep breath, "I want this to be more, I want us to be more, a future for us."

You couldn't help but smile, pulling him closer to hug him tight.

"Me too", you murmured as you trailed kisses down his neck.

You felt your dress shift up while something pulled your underwear down and as you looked up into his blue eyes you saw the endless desire within them. You swallowed a moan at the sight of him, his lips parted slightly, his gaze trailing over your body while he threw your panties to the ground. Your mind went wild, flooding with images of how he'd fuck you right there but he suddenly dropped to his knees, parting your legs and dragging his tongue through your folds.

"Arthur", you cried out, your hand reaching for his head, your fingers entangling in his dark brown hair.

His licks were sloppy but relentless, drawing you closer towards your orgasm each time his tongue circled around your clit. His lips wrapped around your sensitive bud, sucking gently as he pushed two fingers into you, humming satisfied at how wet you were already. Your head fell back against the window, wondering for a brief moment if anyone could see you from the Prydwen but all thoughts were washed away the moment he started thrusting his fingers faster. You were so close, a breath away from the ocean of pleasure you'd gladly drown in but you needed more of him. You pushed his head away, panting while trying to calm yourself a bit before speaking. He got up, worries written all over his face but you wouldn't give him time to voice them as you took his hand, bringing his fingers to your lips and licked them clean. It was the moment Arthur almost fell apart, feeling his cock twitch within his pants while watching you unravel him with such a simple gesture.

"Arthur please", you pleaded, your hands fumbling to unfasten the buttons on his trousers before swiftly pulling them down.

He growled, rubbing his throbbing cock against your wetness. It was almost too much but the threat of sending both of you over the edge became imminent as he glided into you, your walls clenching around his length while both of you moaned loudly. He paused for a moment, breathing heavily, chuckling quietly upon seeing that you were as desperate as he was, pupils blown wide with lust. You wanted everything he would offer you, a burning desire to melt into him, nestled forever within his soul. Arthur began moving, slamming his hips into yours at a sloppy pace. Sinful moans filled the control tower as the shadows dancing on the walls bore witness to your intimacy. Your arms wrapped around his neck, lips clashing on his as you came, legs trembling as love and pleasure blossomed in a mind-shattering orgasm. Feeling your walls clench around him, Arthur promptly followed you, spilling his seed within you, moving away from you after a last few sloppy thrusts. Both of you were panting, broad smiles painted across your lips as you gazed into each other's eyes. Arthur took a rag, cleaning both of you up before taking your hand and leading you to the window, staring into the night sky.

"So what will happen now?", you asked, feeling his grip tighten at your question.

"Whatever we want to happen", he replied, "and after you return from the Glowing Sea we continue our plan to destroy the Institute and I will help you rescue your son."

He turned towards you, the sight of the affection held within your eyes made him weak. He delved into the knowledge of pre-war life, exploring the simple joys that people once experienced, the traditions they held dear—a glimpse into the life that could have been yours. In the harsh wastelands, where time showed no mercy, he yearned to bring you solace, even though romance and leisure were scarce commodities, especially within the ranks of the Brotherhood. Which was exactly why he had planned to ask you something important this evening but upon being in your presence, his courage faltered. Fear and uncertainty crept in, questioning whether it was too soon. He had no experience in such matters and was not long around his parents to grow old enough to ask them for their guidance in such matters. And although he valued Owyn's and Sarah's counsel, they never broached the subject of love with him. The connection that bound you two, it felt unique, a rare treasure he'd neither find nor share with anyone else, a truth he held close to his heart for now. He feared you might not be ready yet, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you, not at this moment. And so, he led you back to the Prydwen.

Chapter 10 - Institutionalized

Feel free to reblog if you enjoyed the story :)

[spookiesmausoleum]

❛ 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨 ❜ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Here's some quotes from "American Psycho" with a few content warnings just due to the subject matter of the movie even if I did try to avoid certain quotes: Drugs , Murder , Psychosis , Cursing , Violence

"Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people."

"I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly."

"Well, most guys I know who are in Mergers and Acquisitions really don't like it."

"There is an idea of a [name]; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."

"My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others."

"I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself."

"Not if you want to keep your spleen."

"My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs."

"I don't think we should see each other any more."

"But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I really don't think it would work."

"I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I've thought about that. You can have 'em."

"Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it?"

"You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?"

"You have a really nice place here, [name]. How much did you pay for it?"

"Well, actually, that's none of your business, [name]. But I can assure you, it certainly wasn't cheap."

"Let's see [name]'s card."

"Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark."

"Is something wrong, [name]? You're sweating."

"It's a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal."

"Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!"

"[Name] has mistaken me for this dickhead [other name]."

"It's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves."

"When I get to [name]'s place, I use the keys I took from his pocket. There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that [name]'s apartment overlooks the park and is obviously more expensive than mine."

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."

"Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why."

"My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy."

"I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

"Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower."

"That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway."

"No—I’m in touch with humanity. [name], I’m sorry, I just uh—you’re not terribly important to me."

"What’s that?"

"Duct tape. I need it for—taping something."

"Pumpkin, you’re dating the biggest dickweed in New York. Pumpkin, you’re dating a tumbling, tumbling dickweed."

"I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don’t want to get hurt, do you?"

"I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood."

"If you don’t shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you."

"Now, [name], listen. Listen very, very carefully—I killed [name], and I liked it."

"Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to?"

"I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special."

"I know my behavior can be—erratic sometimes."

"You hate that job anyway. I don’t see why you just don’t quit."

"Because I want to fit in."

"I’m leaving. I’ve assessed the situation, and I’m going."

"Hey, I’m a child of divorce, gimme a break!"

"Oh, that? Just mulling over business problems, examining opportunities, exchanging rumors, spreading gossip."

"Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly."

"God—I guess I was probably returning videotapes."

"I need to return some videotapes."

[lilpotatjj]

helloo so i have a request

could you write a bella ramsey x reader (romantic) where bella comes back to their shared flat late due to filming (could be for tlou or something else) and finds the reader crying because people on social media have been rude since they have a 5 year age gap between them (the relationship is legal)

maybe a wee bit of angst but nothing to bad, tyyyy!!

(make sure to get plenty of rest and stay hydrated!!)

A/N: Here u go Hope u like it and thanks for the great request. ppl can somtimes be really rude. no questions ask. don't let ur guard down my sweet Readers <3 you are precious the way u are!

Warning: rude comments and stupid acc names, fluff and sweet words for comforting reader

I don't care cause I love you always <3

Weirdo23: *Mom complex*

Duckface: *You don't deserve Bella, she's too young for you.*

JuStAtRoLl: *there's money that makes the music….don't love! you weirdo. As if she loves Bella*

Grudge666: *that will never last! Bella's too busy with everything and you're taking full advantage. shame on you!*

Bananaaaa: *wanting attention. the main thing is to be the centre of attention. How can Bella find anything to like about you? True love comes from both sides. Poor Bella, she really doesn't deserve this. I hate people like you!*

The horrible comments go on and on without really ending. Snuggled up with a blanket around you and tears in your eyes, you read through most of the disgusting comments. You shudder at the thought of stepping outside the door and feel that if Bella reads this, she won't love you anymore. People on the internet are too violent to write such nasty things…protected by anonymity.

One after the other, tears run down your face as you suddenly hear the crack of a key.

"I'm home babe!" You quickly try to wipe away the tears but the pain is too great and deep inside you, a sob slips out. "Y/N?" Bella asks while comming into the room you share together with them.

"Oh darling!? what happened? Are you okay?" Actually completely exhausted from filming the new season of the last of us, Bella comes straight to you and takes you in her arms.

You try to pull yourself together but when you feel her tender warmth you lose yourself completely in your grief.

"oh baby ssshhh…it's ok…….I'm here" Tight in her arms they lets you cry it out and just stands by you.

"I….I'm so s…sorry." You sob again and don't manage to look at her at all, so they hold your face in their hands.

I would really like to know what happened" Bella looks deep into your eyes. "What are you apologising for?" your Tears flow down their hands. You swallow hard and take her hands away from your face. Your phone is still vibrating, one nasty message after another in one of your collaborative posts with Bella, in which you give her a kiss on the cheek. They read some of the bad comments and look at your face wordlessly. "oh Dear….I'm so sorry! please don't let things like that get to your head!" she looks at you comfortingly.

"is that true? is there any truth about the comments? am i too old for you?" you look at her almost blankly.

"no, not at all. why? it's only 5 years, nothing big. besides, i'm almost 20! i think i'm mature enough to decide for myself who i love!" She looks at you with a serious look and means every single word.

Tears come to your eyes again at all her words. "I really don't want to lose you…..I love you too much. you are everything to me…"

"i love you too and i would never leave you because of such comments. let them talk! most of them are only unhappy with themselves!"

You just look at them silently and slowly come to your senses. "I'm so lucky to have you Isabella May Ramsey" You manage to smile a little, which makes her laugh too.

"That was sweet" she says and kisses you softly on the mouth.

"They'll just have to get used to me having you" she smiles proudly.

"cuddle?"

"yes"

My masterlist

[helyiios]

Imagine Ethan seeing the rope burns and bruising on Benji's neck soon-ish after Kashmir and assuming that Benji had attempted to kill himself.

What he likes the most of about Kashmir is the weather. It's cold, yes, but it's also always bright and sunny, and the blue of the sky helps making his recovery less boring. When his ribs allow him to walk around the medical ward he does so, and he likes to take in the view. The mountains were nicer to see when he wasn't strapped to a helicopter and dangling off the edge of a cliff.

It's not all wonderful, though. Mostly, he's worried about Benji, whom he doesn't see much. Which is odd, because he's their technician, which means he should be debriefing with them almost all the time, but, well. He isn't. And that worries him. A lot.

Which was leading him to that particular moment, standing right outside his friend's small house in the snow, barely knocking. Maybe he was sleeping ? Maybe he should come back. Maybe he was imagining things, and it wasn't that bad, and he was being too overprotective like what Julia'd told him, and he should give him space, maybe—

"Yeah ?"

Benji's standing in the entrance, skin visibly paler than usual, with bright purple stains under his eyes. His beard is unkept, and his hair is a mess of locks, falling freely in his forehead. Had he been napping ?

"Hey," Ethan kind of lamely replies, waving awkwardly. "Can I come in ?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. I guess."

His friend moves to the side, allowing the door to open wider and lets him inside the small barrack, where the bed was undone and multiple computers were laid on the covers. Not sleeping, then.

"It's pretty cold, huh ?" the older of the two remarks, "you should come 'round the foyer sometimes. They've got a nice fireplace."

"Huh ? Yeah, I guess," the other distractedly says, tugging at this scarf. That was his new fashion choice, from what Ethan could've noticed in the fast few weeks. That, or a turtleneck. "Did you need anything ? I'm...huh, a little busy, I guess."

"Oh, no, I just...I wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing, y'know ?"

"I'm fine," Benji retorts almost immediately, and his tone is barely snappy. "You know, same old."

"I mean, what happened with Ilsa was..."

"Nothing happened with Ilsa. Didn't you read the report ? We just knocked Lane off. More fright than hurt."

"No, I know, but still, I mean, we both know Lane and you have—"

"Have what, Ethan ?"

He pauses, visibly taken aback by the bite in his voice.

"Well. You...he doesn't like you, so I wanted to make sure that seeing him again wouldn't..." Ethan trails off, trying to find the right words, "wouldn't mess with your head."

"It hasn't," Benji replies, still tugging at his scarf, almost like it was choking him. "Was that all ?"

"You don't look comfortable in that thing," he points out, "maybe you should take it o—"

"NO !"

The yell rings out loudly against the four walls, and Ethan takes a step back in shock.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I didn't mean to..."

He stops himself, frowning in that way he did when something had just dawned upon him.

Not good, Benji thinks. Not good at all.

"Why are you always covering your neck ?"

"I don't want to catch the flu."

"It's not that cold."

"Okay, well, maybe not for you—"

"Benji," Ethan's voice turns serious, accusatory, even. "What's under the scarf ?"

"Nothing," the other horribly lies. "I told you, I'm fine."

"Alright. Then take it off."

"No."

"Benji, please."

"Why do you care so much ?!"

"Because you're my friend, and I haven't seen you in weeks despite us living in the same quarters, and you're acting all—all suspicious with it, and I'm scared something happened to you ! And I'm scared you're hiding it from me !"

"Oh, fuck this," Benji sneers, almost tearing the fabric from his neck, letting it drop harshly on the floor. "There. Happy, now ?!" he almost spits, face contorted in a mask of pure disgust. "Congrats, you found me out."

Ethan's breath catches in his throat, and he's pretty sure he felt the floor move oddly under his feet. Instinctively he wants to reach out to touch, but a flinch from the other man reminds him to know better.

The scars are ugly.

There's no other way to put it.

They're purple, yellow, red and black at the same time, and they spread around Benji's neck like twisted vines, almost cutting his veins in half. They're patches of pain and a testament of struggle, and they seem to be burning still, under the freezing air of the barrack. There are open wounds too, and they shine more crimson than they should.

"Wh..." he swallows harshly, trying to compose himself, "what happened ?"

"Nothing."

"This isn't nothing, Benji !"

"It's just scars. They'll fade eventually. This is all my fault anyway."

A beat.

No.

"Did you do this to yourself ?" Ethan manages to ask, voice small and in pieces, "Benji ?"

"What ?"

He'd heard that Benji had gone to several therapy appointments, after London. He knew, deep down, that his friend had never quite recovered from what Lane had put him through. How could he have, anyway ? God only knew what had happened between his capture and the restaurant. Had he gotten tortured ? He never talked about it, and it scared Ethan.

Because what else had he kept for him ?

"Did you—“ he chokes out, feeling ugly tears swell in his eyes, going to grab his friend's shoulders, "oh God, Benji, I'm—I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should've known, I'm so sorry, I should've been there, I—"

"What ? No, I didn't—"

"I didn't realise you were in that bad of a place, I'm sorry, I—I wish you would've told me—"

"I didn't try to kill myself, Ethan !" Benji manages to yell, raising his hands defensively, "I didn't—this isn't self inflicted."

A silence.

"Really...?"

"Look, I—" he shakes his head, a bitter laugh coming out of his mouth, and Ethan hates it, because never should Benji sound like that. It didn't fit him. "It was Lane. I went to help Ilsa, Lane was waiting for me and choked me, and then hung me to the ceiling. Ilsa cut the rope right after I passed out. That's it. That's the story. Alright ? There's nothing more to say. It's my fault, and I'll assume the consequences."

"Lane hung you."

"Yeah."

"Wh...why didn't you tell me ?"

The other man shrugs.

"You were busy with recovering. Didn't want to bother you with it."

"How would that be bothering me in the slightest ?!" Ethan screams out frustratedly, "Benji, I was worried sick !"

"Alright," Benji snorts, looking still as angry, "well, now you know. All good ? Can I go back to my coding ?"

"Don't do that."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're isolating yourself from me."

"I'm not. Look, I just...I'm tired. Okay, Ethan ? I'm tired, and my throat hurts, I've been eating soup for 11 days straight, and I can't cough, or laugh, and I'm—I'm just sick of it. And to top it off, all of this is my fault."

"No it's not," Ethan protests, voice now soft. "Please. Let me help you."

"I like your confidence, but you're not good enough to make rope burns disappear overnight."

"No, I'm not. But I can help with reminding you to apply cream, and do it for you, and stay with you if you need to talk. I—I want to. I want to be here for you. Please."

Benji's eyes finally meet his, and he breathes out. His shoulders slump, like tension had left his entire body.

"Okay. Can you...God, I—"

"Yes," his friend earnestly replies, impossibly close, "I'll do anything. Just ask."

The other man nods against his shoulder.

"Can you hug me ? Just a little."

Ethan smiles. Benji is warm against him.

"Yeah. I can do that."

[lunawish]

.

congratulations. you win the breakup. you've managed to singlehandedly alienate me from every single one of my friends - no one wants to speak to me, no one wants to be around me, and no one can even tolerate my presence. you tell me people care, you tell me you wouldn't think people would choose sides but of course, everybody chooses teddy. everybody chooses teddy the soft, white, femme enby that just cries easily. everybody chooses teddy because they believe you wouldn't tell their secrets.

teddy did you know how much you've broken me when first heard you black out drunk begging me to leave so you can kill yourself and thus free me from you? did you know how much it made me terrified of leaving when every single instinct inside me was telling me to run? did you know how afraid i was of your killing yourself because you couldn't go back to school since your grades weren't high enough? did you know how i wanted to leave you so bad when you came home drunk one day, and you peed the floor and i had to clean it up?

of course you don't. you don't because i didn't tell anyone else. those were your secrets. you were vulnerable. i wouldn't tell people that. i wouldn't tell people what pained you the most at your lowest point.

so why was it okay for you to go around telling people we both know when i was going through my worst times in my life. i know i told you i couldn't live without you and would probably die if you left ... but it's what happened. i lost myself to you. i lost years of myself because i loved you so much and it burnt me out. it burnt me out faster than any full academic course load ever could. it burnt me out, it consumed me. i didn't know who i was without you. i didn't know what i was living for if not you.

teddy you took everything from me and left me with nothing. i know i did horrible things too but at least i'm not lying to your face. at least i'm not telling you how i don't want you to torture yourself by constantly packing my things in an apartment that no longer feels like a home because every corner you turn you see something that reminds you of me. no, you left me to pack alone. you never answered my cry for help for you to come help me pack your shit. you left me here to torture myself.

you hugged me and i felt disgusting. you hugged me and told me how i'm so important, how i'm so cared for but in reality you alienated me from everyone. you told them my deepest, darkest secrets and now they don't want anything to do with me.

i kept your secrets like an oath and you spread mine like it was an issue from the sun. you i kept your secrets so close to my chest that it feels like i might just explode. it feels like i can't breathe.

and you know what? the funniest thing is even if i do speak now : no one would believe me. i know your secrets and i want to scream it back to the people you've told mine to just to get back at you, have you know how i hurt.

but the truth is ... i never want to see you again. i want you out of my life. i want your shit out of my house. i never want to see you again. you, who've managed to convince everyone that i'm your abuser, that i'm the one who was cold, neglectful, and disrespected you. you took everything from me and i became dependent on you.

teddy, did you really think i didn't want to clean up our shared spaces? did you really think i didn't want to cook for you or do the dishes? i did do all that. i really did. but do you know how exhausting it was to have to keep up with the clothes you toss on the floor, the cups you leave in every corner of the house, the random ass forks and spoons that just endlessly pop out of nowhere? i burnt out and i needed help. i was willing to pay someone to clean but you told me to grow up. but then when you've felt good about yourself and i was in the shits ... suddenly i'm painted as the abusive ex girlfriend within your social circle... OUR social circle. i can't even approach anyone who i think were my friends because every time i see them whisper it feels like they're talking about me.

i can't stand the way how the people who once claimed to enjoy my company decided to block me out of nowhere, flip me off despite me not knowing why, and the worst ... are the ones who leave me on read despite my every effort to heal.

you lied to me. you claim you cared about me healing, about me finding connections outside of you but you've helped sever so many of those that i, have to be the one to resort to using bumble. that i have to be the one who's going to fucking online discord servers for our local area while you can just be so comfortably nestled in your friend circle ... that you wouldn't have if you never met me. that you wouldn't have if i never started conversations with strangers because you were too shy.

you took advantage of my depressive episodes, my deep rooted cultural shame that prevented me from reaching out to people and for that i hate you. for that i wish you would get out of my life. for that i wish i could take back the seven years of my life you've wasted.

[tired-writer-in-progress]

I don't know how to feel about Wilbur. Don't get me wrong, support Shelby, but it's like.. a depressing feeling of sorts, like I just can't bring myself to be mad, disappointed or sad anymore. At this point all YouTube is to just watch people you thought were gonna be great either quit, ruin their own lives by either killing their body for fame or preying on their own fans because they thought they would never get caught. And honestly my only reaction is just thinking who's next? Who am I just gonna stop watching in the future? I've seen people from the Warriors Fandom, a fandom about CATS. Have some of the most disgusting people. And I've been let down before.

Everything feels too close together, YouTuber after YouTuber gets called out for a disgusted act and it just feels like it's happening too fast. And if you watch as many channels as I do, it feels like a big chance just for two of your most watched to just explode with controversy and proof of what they did.

We're watching the world burn inside of the internet, something that was supposed to take our minds off real life, but it's just turned into a dumpster fire. I guess things never go out in the intended way anyways but, the internet is a big example of that.

(And for some reason at least for me, it's mainly the people who write songs / animations that do it. I don't know why)

At this point my only hope from big YouTubers is Kwite. Considering he could actually prove himself innocent and bounce back like a madman.

Your feelings are totally valid, dude. Honestly, I'm also numb to this whole situation, considering I'm used to these situations because of um. Yeah, the gacha community. But that's a whole different topic.

It feels like a routine at this point, people getting exposed left and right for being horrible people, which is good, but like. Why were you all horrible people in the first place? Can't you all learn to be better people?

Not just Wilbur. Everyone is in danger to be exposed for their horrible actions, even me. People just need to learn to be better and not do crimes.