#and even if she were genuinely progressive she is the most annoying bitch in the game

[booperbeanv3]

overly emotional drv3 angst rant time. even though the fandom was actual hot garbage and gave me severe mental problems for a solid 8 months i genuinely do believe both characters and concepts could have been so so good

it gen maddens me like a battle royale murder mystery AND social sim is a gret concept and that’s why everyone likes dr in the first place but it’s NEVER been for the lore or even the gore. which is disappointing. bc the most fucked up thing ppl usually remember are the pedobait shills in udg

i dont care about thh or sdr2 even though they have more iconic characters and themes [thh is best in lore and setting ground down, sdr2 has best setting and Nagito Komaeda while drv3 has the best character roundup] [i never watched the anime or read the extra content since nobody but 5 komahina fans care bout them anyway]

maybe this is because of my recent dive into edgy territory but i think going for a more distrust-style approach would’ve been so good. there’s no such thing as “too violent” when your game’s m17 [well i guess you wouldn’t wanna be r18 but i doubt that’d come unless you showed hole]

having a mainstream gore game would’ve been fun... too bad the existing dr fanbase consists of children arguing about whether a flashy male is “gay coded” for saying saying maybe two slang words or if it’s a CRIMINAL OFFENCE to like a guy who said a homophobic slur in japanese [that was corrected in the localisation mind you] because japan finds regressive culture totes hilare

WHAT IS MY POINT. i fucking hate the community i’m shaking everyone to death

i gotta replay the games because actually i sped through the whole fandom without paying a lick of attention. they’re in my steam library but i never touched em. i never finished thh since ch5 annoyed me to hell and back and i never returned. it might annoy me too much though since i believe one of dangan’s MAJOR flaws is that it has too many characters

in sdr2 and v3 if your fave died before ch4 then you are deemed irrelevant forever and only your niche fans will care

and yet still nobody gives a shit about himiko yumeno. such is life

[fox-from-fairytale]

Doesn't matter if I already know how it ends, this game will never fail to make me cry.

It's so good that I'd replay it even if I've just finished it, but thankfully there are the other seasons. The thing is, the first one really is the best one. I've always found all the characters so well written and the story is so compelling, even if there are some awkward moments. Couldn't Clem kill the walker with the bat before trying to take the gun/keys? Why didn't the bandits follow Lee and Mark through the open fence? Did Ben really not see the walkers on the other side of the door? Still, those are little things compared to everything else.

The first time I was so focused on Clementine that most of the characters were just background noise to me, but this time I had the possibility to appreciate more of the game since I already knew it, and who shined the most was Lilly. I love that woman for both her good and bad traits, and I'm afraid to replay TFS now lmao 😰

It was a bit annoying how the game seems to try and antagonise her through the other characters bitching about her, but it makes sense since that's something that of course would happen to the only person with the guts to distribute food rations. But still, having Lee as the only one who can say something positive about her and what she has done when the player has absolutely no idea about how things are in the group because it's the beginning of the episode? Lmao fuck you. Also, why does she accuse Carley but if you save Doug she kills him as a mistake? Let my woman show no remorse towards both of them.

She's already hurt for losing the only family she had, so losing the other thing she was protecting so desperately because someone within the group betrayed them is the last nail in the coffin, along with being dismissed while she was trying to find out who did it. I'm not saying it was right to kill Carley/try to kill Ben (who did what he did for understandable reasons from his side), but I still see why she snapped and I can't hate her for it.

It's a pity the game gets rid of her, because seeing someone who still didn't lose her humanity (sure, she doesn’t want other mouths to feed, which should be obvious why since she is the one giving food and knowing they can barely survive with what they can find, but she shows it when she doesn't agree with Kenny if he says that Lee made a mistake putting the girl in Macon out of her misery or when she doesn't want to steal from the stranger - she doesn't want to bear the weight of more people because it would be impossible to take care of them too and she prioritise her family and then her group, but this doesn’t mean she wants to survive on other people's expenses, which, ergh... kinda changes) doing something so ruthless it's so interesting, and I would have loved to see her progression through the game. I guess we do in TFS, but at the moment I'm torn about what they did with her in that season... Also, I simply wanted more of her in the game lmao

Protecting Duck and Katjaa as much as I could + trying to save Larry was a good combo for Kenny, I genuinely think those choices gave me the best of him. I like to make fun of him for being a pain in the ass if you agree with him about everything but a single choice is what makes him despise you and even avoid to save your ass when you need, but I really liked how things evolved in the final episode.

Kenny isn't a bad person, no one at the motor inn and who can join the group later on is, and killing someone (who at the moment is defenceless) because it's what you think is the right thing to do to protect yourself takes quite a lot, and Lee not helping him surely would make him feel like being left alone in such a hard moment and would divide them. But in the last episode, after seeing the worst of him (I mean, I believe that's in s2, but that's another story) because of his loss, the fact that he comes around when Clem is taken and treats you as a pal and uses the last bullet for Ben? I loved that, I think it showed the best of him. I thought he was going to be an asshole till the end, but I'm glad I can be on Lilly's side without having to be hated by Kenny for the whole season. I still loved to kick his ass in the third episode though lmao

I've made some pretty different choices compared to the first time, putting more thoughts behind them, especially when it came down to end someone's life.

Lee is a man who killed before it was necessary to survive, but it wasn't premeditated (or so I believe at least), and still has the heart to take care of a random kid as if she was his own. In the end, I only made him kill the girl at the motor inn who was bitten, the one screaming in Macon, and the stranger. Following this, I didn't let Clementine shoot him, and I'm glad the game made me give the actual reason I thought about: killing changes you, and I don't think a parent (that's who he is in the end) would make their child go through that, especially when said parent knows what it's like, and not only after the apocalypse.

It's clear that in the world she lives in she'll end up doing it, but it wasn't necessary to her safety, and Lee is no coward, and I like to think that he would keep prioritising Clementine over himself even in such a moment. Yes, it's sad for Lee, and Clementine surely is going to regret this, but I wanted to make the choice as Lee, not as the player nor as Clem.

These aren't all my thoughts on the game but the rambling got a bit too long, so I'm going to end it with the love of my life being pissed:

[terresdebrume]

For the WIP askbox: Limo driver Joe please!!

There you go Nonners! :D

This one is still in the very rough stage but we're making progress bit by bit^^ Kinda warning for implied homophobia and bad familial relationships.

[Ask me about my WIPs]

“I understand things have been a bit difficult,” mom says in that prim, rich tone she uses when she says she understands family is important but the maid is still being very inconvenient about taking a day off, “but I hardly see how making yourself look like a lesbian is going to help anything.”

David, half his weight leaned against the limousine’s door, rubs at his clavicle with a loud sigh. It's still sore from the break, and the skin hasn't gotten back to its normal color where the seatbelt gave him a friction burn. His neck still itches with the phantom weight of a brace when he's falling asleep. And then of course: the nightmares. David hasn't had a full night's sleep since January, which his mother might know about if they had a relationship where they told each other anything at all.

“You had such nice curls,” mom says, leaning hard across the wide backseat to run a hand through David's cropped side, inches from where he knows for a fact his hair still curls at the top of his head. “Who's going to see them now?”

Objectively, the answer is: far more people than before. David hadn't let anyone see his hair arranged in anything other than a dancer-tight bun in years before he got the fateful haircut. Hoob, when they tried to have sex for the first time, even spent a solid two minutes digesting the fact that he'd never realized his girlfriend had curly hair. If he were here like they'd planned, Hoob would be pointing that out to David's mother in the calmest, most genuinely puzzled tone imaginable.

But Hoob is not here. He is rotting somewhere in Ohio, in a hole where his grandparents and several ancestors have been feeding maggots for generations, while Rob’s fucking ashes fertilize some emotionally significant garden in Loomis, Washington. The thought of them pierces David like a lance, the warm spray of blood and brain matter on his face surging up from his memory to make him gag. In the front seat, Joe is silent, focused on driving, but the edge of his mouth is lower than usual. That's all the comfort David gets before his mom clicks her tongue.

“Kenya, are you even listening to me?”

“No,” David says, truthfully. “I'm tired. I wanna go home.”

“‘I want to’ go home,” mom says, sighing when David crosses his arms over his chest. “Vicky is expecting us in half an hour for fittings, and you still don't have anything to wear. If you think I'll allow you to pick an old dress—”

“I'll have Joe bring me back next week,” David snaps, impatient. “I smell like an airplane. I want to go home.”

He's being pouty. He knows he's being pouty, because mom makes the annoyed sound she makes when David's being difficult for no reason, but fuck it. David is sore from his flight, from a sleepless night, from the strain of landing to two pecks on the cheeks followed by a deluge of vain gossip about vain people he couldn't give less of a shit about. If Vicky dearest, whom mom describes as a vainglorious bitch when they're alone at home, can't accept David having an afternoon to himself after he flies home from Europe, he will be absolutely delighted to be taken off the guest list from her wedding.

“Joe's contract will be over by next week,” mom says, and David groans, fingernails digging in the meat of his arms.

“Mom, I don't care, I want to go home!”

He wants to sleep for as long as he can manage, or at least stay in a dark and quiet room for a while. He'll stare at the ceiling with his heart in his throat, and feel like he's suffocating, and maybe sob a bit by the end, and then he'll wash up and sneak out to Joe's miniscule cottage on the property so they can play Mario Kart and piss each other off until mom has to be driven back from Vicky's stupid fitting.

[away-ward]

I really don’t understand Alex at all and I genuinely don’t like her . From the first time she was introduced I didn’t like her. If she hadn’t become friends with rika she wouldn’t even be in the books so much . She’d just be wills friend . And I find it so weird how every single time she introduces herself she says “ Alex palmer . I’m wills friend “ like we get bitch you are close . And she was doing too much trying to become friends with banks . And why does Will admire Alex so much ? What about Emory like hellooooo. Idk it bothered me a lot how close will and Alex are . And also the fact that Will does NOT understand Emory at all . Don’t kill me but I think Damon and Emory would’ve made a great couple cause they actually understand each other idk .

I haven’t talked extensively about Alex in a while, so why not now?

I myself was pretty indifferent to Alex at first. She was just there – she was a tool to send a message. It’s one of the most annoying parts of Corrupt, in my opinion. We’re force fed PD’s thoughts on something through their characters, though Alex is a bit easier to swallow than Rika’s spontaneous class speech about the new generation.

In Corrupt, Alex is meant to be a role model for Rika, who wants to break out of this good girl mold she’s been forced into. Alex introduces Rika to the reality that girls can have sex, for a good time and/or for money, and still be a decent person. Girls can also have sex with girls! Novel thought, that is.

It’s through Alex that Rika is able to become a more realized version of herself. She’s opened to new ideas and experiences that she has always been thinking somewhere in the back of her head. Except now she can say them without fear of judgement, all thanks to Alex and Michael.

However, as has been discussed, Corrupt was written without the three follow-ups in mind. Alex’s progression with the group was never planned. But PD loved her and so did fans. There needed to be another reason for Alex to stick around. A common pick-me girl quality is that they can’t be friends with other girls, but this has never been a problem with Rika or Alex. There would have been no problem with Alex just appearing every once in a while, as Rika’s college friend.

This is where is starts to get irritating. In Corrupt, Alex doesn’t really do anything deserving of the horsemen’s favor. Will likes her, but Will likes a lot of girls. He brings her out to Thunder Bay but pays no attention to her (on page). It’s clear that she’s Rika’s friend, not theirs. Now that Rika didn’t need her anymore – other than a neutral friend she occasionally joked about having sex with but never actually engaged with despite the group’s dynamic – what was Alex supposed to do?

PD’s solution is to shift Alex’s mainstay in the group from Rika to Will. In Hideaway, Will is no longer paying Alex for her company. In Kill Switch, she’s his "best friend" to replace Damon. And in Nightfall, she’s his reflection. All the things it would be natural for Alex to do with Rika she now does with Will because Rika doesn’t need her anymore.

To be clear, I don’t think PD planned on Will and Alex becoming as close as they were. I think as PD started getting the sense of Will’s story, it made sense by that point in time, they'd have a strong connection. It also gave PD a chance to satisfy Alex’s fans demanding a HEA, and their own desire to see Alex happy.

When I say I don’t mind Alex’s role in the series, I am specifically talking about her friendship with Will and her role as the group’s gopher. That's not a bad role to have, and if executed well, could have been interesting. What I hate about Alex is that she has a habit of putting people in situations that aren’t always good for them, that they don’t want to be in, and she has plot armor. No character, but especially a side character, should have plot armor. It would be one thing if she crossed the line occasionally but also faced consequences for it. It would be one thing if there were things asked of her that she was never able to fulfill, either because of lack of skill or it made her uncomfortable, or she simply didn't want to. But it never fails, no matter what happens, Alex is perfect.

And perfect characters just aren’t interesting to me.

There is the additional issue that PD loves Alex, and therefore the narrative never implies that Alex can be wrong.

Take Rika for example. She and Michael frequently argue, and while it’s annoying, I can see both sides of their issues, and I’m never told who’s side I should be on. With Alex, the narrative always implies I’m supposed to see her point of view; I’m supposed to be on her side; for all her failings, she’s sympathetic.

Sorry, but I don’t buy it. Never trust a character that’s always right.

But that’s my thoughts. Let’s address some of yours.

She’d just be wills friend

I think it’s interesting how even though she’s been tied to Will, she’s still different. Kai, Damon, and Will sleep around until their love interest enters the scene, but we don’t see any of those girls sticking close. So why does Alex get the exemption. Until Hideaway, she’s not doing anything that make her invaluable to the group. And after that, she basically becomes whatever they need when they need it.

Kai needs a personal shopper? Well good thing Alex is a fashionista.

Rika needs a friend to teach defense classes with? Well good thing Alex has a deep interest in promoting women’s rights. Never mind how she had the time to reach the level that she can teach in less than a year. It’s Alex.

Banks needs a girl to help her get out of her shell, but she doesn’t trust Rika? Well, good thing we have Alex.

Alex’s character was never meant to go anywhere, and if PD didn’t love her so much, she wouldn’t have even been Will’s special friend. She’d be the escort that lives in the build that they occasionally hire to help in some circumstances because she’s discreet.

why does Will admire Alex so much ? What about Emory like hellooooo

My opinion is that Will equally admires both. That’s why Alex knows about Emory before they meet – Will’s already talked her up. But by the time Emory, Alex, and Will are in the same room, Will is already so angry at Emory that his admiration it can’t come through.

The boys like Alex because she acts and thinks like them – she has no shame, doesn’t need any one’s approval, does what she wants, and has a good time doing it. It’s what actually makes her a pick-me girl. If it weren’t for her being so highly feminine, she’d be just one of the guys.

Then, when they understand that she doesn’t come from privilege like them, but built herself up, they give her their respect. And to be clear: it’s admirable that Alex faced the loss of her friends and scholarship. That’s a huge blow, especially at 18, and the fact that she was able to find away to support herself without missing a beat is a feat that should be recognized. It’s everything else about her that I have trouble accepting.

But I’ve said this before and I still believe it, Alex’s success does not diminish Emory’s by any means. Just because Alex can do all that with a smile on her face doesn’t mean that Emory surviving is less noteworthy just because she’s depressed. Likewise, Emory being mean because her life is incredibly difficult doesn’t make her more realistic that Alex. They approached two difficult situations with different methods and both should be recognized for it.

Will just has an easier time with Alex than with Emory. Alex doesn’t challenge his view of the world or his circumstances. Alex doesn’t expect more from him. Alex puts up with his bare minimum effort. There’s comfort and resting, which we all need at time, and then there’s wallowing in self-pity. It’s easier for Will to appreciate Alex’s success because he never wanted to be apart of it. Emory also succeed on her own, but he wanted to be apart of that story and she refused to let him. He’s bitter for sure, but he doesn’t deny that she’s done it.

also the fact that Will does NOT understand Emory at all

I kind of do disagree with this take. Will understands Emory very well. But again, there are times when he’s too clouded by anger to accept her. To me, understanding and accepting are two different things. When Will accepts Emory for who she is, instead of what he tries to convince himself she is, that his understanding really shines.

Don’t kill me but I think Damon and Emory would’ve made a great couple cause they actually understand each other idk .

See, I only see Damon and Emory working under a very specific set of circumstances. But outside of that I think they’re too similar. Yeah, they understand each other because they went though years of abuse, but they both need people who live outside of that world. They’d find comfort in someone who can identify with and validate their experiences, but they also need people who will push them not to live only with that in view. For better or worse, Will and Winter fill that role for them.

But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t read a Damon/Emory fic! I’m so interested in seeing how someone else would make it work.

This is probably a lot more than you were expected. Sorry about that. I just had a few thoughts about Alex dying to get out, and with your message, they refused to stay in any longer. Hope you don't mind!

Thanks for the message. I know my opinions on Alex are a tad bit more relaxed than others, but it's still interesting to see how divisive she is as a character.

[feitanswife]

So seeing as I’m gonna have to redo three hours of gameplay (I’m setting timers to save every 20 min from now on. I’ve had the fear of god put in me)

I figured I’d give some organized thoughts…

WHAT DOES GAMEFREAK HAVE AGAINST SPIDERS. WHY IS ALMOST EVERY SPIDER MON EITHER MID OR TRASH???? LET ME HAVE COOL SPIDERS PLEASE

Holy Johto Batman! I haven’t had this much issue leveling up Pokémon since I actually beat heartgold for the first time (after owning it for like ten years and just resetting constantly)

But I guess that’s a good thing cause Lordy this game is DENSE! There is so much going on. I’m taking down gangs, im fighting giant crabs, im annihilating the shinx population for no reason, im getting badges???? It’s so weird to get three badges and be like “alright! I’m like 10% done with the game!”

I haven’t found a character I don’t like. The writing is PHENOMENAL!

I did however nearly get stuck ten separate times and actually get stuck in a glitch loop of two starly’s chirping forever and lose all my progress so.

The Pokémon designs are awful and I love them. I’m such a sucker for genuinely stupid Pokémon designs. I have a tumbleweed baby and I love her so much!!!!

Except for whatever quaxly’s middle evo has going on. Like I get what they’re going for but I dunno it looks like it’s made of balloons.

Someone really said “what if spiritomb was a capitalist and we made the wisp quest even more annoying?” And I ate it up like the bitch I am. Anything for a ghost type.

Brassius is the opposite of how I thought he’d be and I love it

I accidentally spoiled most of the plot but I have no idea HOW any of it happens so. That’s gonna be fun. It’s like getting a cryptic text that says “one of the people in this room will die in the next twelve days” yay Suspense!

Also uh…. Miraidon (aka Vivi the Munchasaur, terror of the picnic table, and my sweetest baby the bestest baby ever yes you are yes you are) is the best Pokémon ever. I’ve only had this dumb bike lizard for… ten hours but if anything happened to them I’d kill everyone in this school and then myself.

I maintain that Arven is just jealous that Vivi likes me more and that’s why he’s such a shit to them even though they’re just a baby and none of this is even their fault!

Speaking of my friends. Someone needs to take the caffeine away from Nemona! She’s really sweet! I like her! But she needs to calm tf down!

Penny will not be winning an Oscar for her performance. Neither will Clavell. I think I’m the only person with a brain cell in this trio.

Why tf did I have to fight a car. Who is this sad DJ man who apparently has issues with micromanaging people? Can I give him a hug I think he needs a hug.

Also I didn’t figure out that you can fast travel from the beginning until after I already beat two gyms and was freaking out cause the level curve was bonkers and the gym leaders aces were multiple levels above my cap. It didn’t need to be. I could have gone to the other side starting area at literally any time.

[m-y-fandoms]

1 Thing I Love & 1 Thing I Hate About EVERY Danganronpa Character Part 1

Part 2

SPOILERS FOR ALL THREE MAIN GAMES

I’d love to hear our opinions as well in the comments or my inbox or DM’s! If you try this trend with DR characters, tag me!

Sayaka Maizono

♡ Her passion for her career and friends.

✘ The way she tries to screw over Makoto when the game had just begun. Like wait and see what happens before screwing over such a great guy? Leon didn’t deserve it either.

Leon Kuwata

♡ His voice actor (English), and how real and human his execution was in that we all would be so scared and irrational. It was just so iconic and sad as it’s our first introduction to the death in this series and we all think: “shit, this is real... they are really killing these kids.” I didn’t think it would be that brutal, just seeing his body limp at the end with the haunting music.

✘ His design is disgusting. I hate how he looks.

Chihiro Fujisaki

♡ So innocent, so kind, so intelligent

✘ Shouldn’t have been killed for such a stupid reason, also they did Mondo dirty with that motive for killing as well. Just a mess. As for the actual character, Chihiro cries right off the bat when you do your introductions and that was kind of annoying to me personally.

Mondo Oowada

♡ He has a lot of respect, understanding and emotions for someone I thought would be a hard-ass douche biker.

✘ The worst motive to kill ever in a game where you know you’re getting executed if you’re found out. Like you’d be extra careful and that’s his reason to kill? Lazy writing.

Celestia Ludenberg

♡ Bad bitch energy and her goth lolita design.

✘ Manipulation and double murder. Bad bitch energy only goes so far. Confidence is different then selfishness. Also, of all the chapter 3 triple murders... the worst motive to kill.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

♡ Emotions: secure in his masculinity, able to cry, show emotions, and apologize when he’s wrong. He’s funny and likable.

✘ The Ishimondo white hair thing was stupid. Taka was fine on his own.

Hifumi Yamada

♡ Writing takes talent, fan fiction as much as any other style or genre. Also the talent of his voice actor (who also voices Kiibo/K1-B0).

✘ Literally everything else about him.

Sakura Oogami

♡ I love everything about her. I love her wisdom, loyalty, design, voice etc. Just step on me, mother.

✘ Why the hell would she ever agree to be a spy even if it meant the end of her dojo? I just don’t think she would do that rationally because she isn’t selfish. The others would suffer for her spying. She remedies this with redemption in her letter in chapter 4 but still she should’ve said no off the bat. Everyone had something to lose. The dojo wasn’t worth spying for monokuma. Also I just don’t think she would commit suicide. She can’t help the remaining students survive and redeem herself truly if she’s dead.

Kyoko Kirigiri

♡ Bad bitch energy, calm and collected when I could never be.

✘ Especially in future arc of the anime, damn can you show some emotion please? Through your words and expressions not just your actions. Sure she was willing to “die” for Makoto but like I just want more emotion from her sometimes, even in THH.

Makoto Naegi

♡ So pure. I Love Bryce Papenbrook. Makoto reminds me of Sora and I love his design.

✘ In THH I didn’t mind his innocence but in the Danganronpa 3 future arc anime, when people started straight up abusing him and accusing him, he needed to grow a little backbone.

Byakuya Togami

♡ Love my dad, king shit, also love how over the progression of the games and animes he becomes a little more kind to his friends.

✘ Why the fuck did he mess with Chihiro’s body? Just so cruel and disrespectful.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

♡ Funny magic man. Sexy voice.

✘ Please. Please Hiro use your brain just once. Why do we have to prove Kyoko isn’t a ghost?!

Toko Fukawa

♡ Character development in UDG and I love Genocider.

✘ Putting down herself and others constantly gets old in THH.

Aoi Asahina

♡ Love her voice actress and her personality

✘ We really just gonna get everyone killed in chapter 4 huh? Surely you know they don’t all deserve that.

Junko Enoshima

♡ A very memorable villain with great hair and design.

✘ I just can’t stand her. I hate her so much.

Mukuro Ikusaba

♡ Her mercenary background is super cool as a concept.

✘ Too bad it wasn’t explored nearly enough.

Hajime Hinata

♡ Seeing the protagonist be a little less naive, innocent and positive than Makoto was a refreshing change, although I loved Makoto. I liked Hajime’s cynicism and expressions that sometimes just screamed “this shit again, huh?”

✘ I enjoy the way Izuru looks but I hate him as a character. He is sexy to look at but Hajime is just a better character overall

Teruteru Hanamura

♡ His love for his family and mother especially is so cute and heart breaking if you know the full story.

✘ He needs to know when to dial it back and quit with the perversions. And no it’s not just how he looks, Miu needs to chill at times, too.

Twogami

♡ I feel like he genuinely cares about his friends, just hides it well

✘ His death felt like a cop out and poorly written. It just didn’t sit right with me. Also his design is disgusting to me, his outfit and such.

Mahiru Koizumi

♡ Loyal to her close friends.

✘ I just have no interest in her as a character and I find her boring.

Peko Pekoyama

♡ Loyalty. Loyalty is something I value very highly in every form of relationship. Peko is also very hot.

✘ Come on girl... I know how you were raised but you should’ve known Fuyuhiko didn’t think of you as just a tool and you two should’ve expressed your true feelings long ago. Like even in secret. How do you live like this? Also I feel like killing Mahiru could’ve been avoided with a calm talk.

Ibuki Mioda

♡ Cute design, positive vibes.

✘ Cringe sometimes in the way she talks.

Hiyoko Saionji

♡ Beautiful character design and some very good insults and snarky remarks at times.

✘ Just irredeemably mean and annoying. Even when you do her free time events she is just so annoying.

Mikan Tsumiki

♡ I like her design as well as her hair, expressions, sprites and clothing.

✘ I hate her. I just hate her whether she’s in her true psycho form or timid stuttering form. She’s just annoying in my opinion.

Nekomaru Nidai

♡ So supportive, can hold my drink at a party. Respects everyone and wants the best for them.

✘ Bro Mechamaru was a stupid plot point. I just couldn’t stand looking at him and couldn’t take it seriously. Still sad when he died though.

Chiaki Nanami

♡ From chapter 5 of sdr2 on she is impossible not to love if you didn’t already. Just the selflessness, the sadness of the reveal and execution, how she returns to help Hajime at the end???? I love her. I love her hair design, color palette, her personality, everything.

✘ I’m bitter and miserable about her being the only class member to actually die (the despair arc anime) also her falling asleep at random times is kind of odd and she doesn’t seem to be like that later on in the game??? Like it seemed like a cheap joke but not actually who she is? Hard for me to explain.

Gundham Tanaka

♡ King shit, couldn’t praise him enough. He’s sexy, loves animals, and is funny as hell sometimes. His voice actor is a saint and a cool dude and I named my guinea pigs after the Dark Devas (yes I know they are hamsters in the games.)

✘ Come on dude. I get that being from Hell and magic and having evil powers is your shtick, but we all know that you and Nekomaru sacrificed yourselves so the others wouldn’t starve. We know you care about your classmates. There comes a time when it’s time to let personas and facades fade and be true to your heart. I just feel like him denying he cared at the end hurt. We all know he cared. I didn’t like how he was haughty until the end. He deserved better. I love him.

Nagito Komaeda

♡ I love him so much. So cunning and intelligent, always a step ahead. And he’s big sexy.

✘ Him killing himself in chapter 5 hurt me so bad I was like in denial for days. Also hate how Bryce Papenbrook gives him a raspy stoner psycho voice in the game then a light airy higher-pitched voice in the despair arc anime. It just bothers me. I love his voice still but the inconsistency just hurts my OCD

Sonia Nevermind

♡ I love that she’s so interested in her passions and love her feelings for Gundham

✘ Her outfit and bow are atrocious. Also why didn’t she start liking and talking to Gundham sooner on? Their romance bloomed late and it would’ve made for a better chapter 4 ending if they were a bit closer.

Kazuichi Souda

♡ Cool design and outfit, love his voice (also voices Kaito in V3) and his backstory is relatable at times. He’s also very human in that he’s scared a lot of the time or insecure or blames others in panicked situations. It’s not always a good thing but it’s human and realistic.

✘ Gosh he can be so annoying. Sometimes flirting or whining too much is well... too much.

Akane Owari

♡ Strong-willed and definitely someone I would be friends with

✘ What the hell is her outfit? Gymnasts and athletes don’t wear that shit. Stop objectifying her when it doesn’t even make the product or plot better. Like there’s absolutely no point to making her dress that way. I was a gymnast for 15 years. Even those who do parkour (which Akane seems to do more often than actual gymnastics in the anime and game) don’t wear what she wears. Also she’s underrated.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

♡ I love him. He’s the DR character I’m most like out of all the games and anime. Tenko is a close second. I think he’s adorable, love his character arc, development, redemption, and love his voice.

✘ In the anime/despair arc, Fuyuhiko is not done justice. He doesn’t get enough lines, has a different voice actor, just doesn’t give off the same vibes.

Izuru Kamakura

♡ Sexy man long hair good.

✘ Boring character. I wish he were just Hajime.

Kaede Akamatsu

♡ Loyalty and leadership are such attractive qualities in her. Also she faced her death with such class and dignity and I respect her because I could never.

✘ Some of the voice lines Erika does for her are just weird and cringe. Just random moans or grunts... I don’t know it’s like when Ann Takamaki from Persona 5 (also voiced by Erika) makes suggestive noises as well. Just grinds my gears. Also hate her outfit down to the hair pins.

Shuichi Saihara

♡ I love his nasally voice. I love his design and he’s so adorable. I love how emotional and compassionate he can be. He ties with Makoto for favorite protag of mine.

✘ That sprite where he sniffs his hand. And his ugly ass hat.

Rantarou Amami

♡ Sexy man, sexy voice, sexy piercings

✘ Ugly outfit, and wasted potential

Ryoma Hoshi

♡ I respect him and feel bad for his outlook on life and for how poorly he views himself. I love his little hat as well and he’s the first “different styled” character (Hifumi, Bandai, Teruteru) that I liked the design of.

✘ I hate when he says “got a long ways to go,” it’s overused and annoying, and wish he gave himself more credit. Also hate that when you first meet him he warns you that he’s killed people and is dangerous to be around. Come on buddy, you know you wouldn’t hurt your friends. Stop pushing them away.

Kirumi Tojo

♡ Competence, well rounded, skillful

✘ Boring as hell. I wouldn’t waste one free time event on her.

Angie Yonaga

♡ Dark skin, super cute, love her talent as an artist myself.

✘ Gives religious people a bad name and is super manipulative which I hate.

Tenko Chabashira

♡ I relate to her and feel bad when she’s misunderstood. She’s a good person deep down. Also love her sprites.

✘ There’s more cunning, funny and clever ways to write her digs at men.

Korekiyo Shunguuji

♡ I’m in love with this man. Long hair, voice, mystery, mask, intelligence, passion, talent.

✘ He definitely was a victim of abuse and a lot of people refuse to see that and just hate him. Team Danganronpa should’ve given him a redemption arc where he realized his sister abused him and changed.

Gonta Gokuhara

♡ I love his design except for his suit. Also he’s so cute and naive. I cried for his trail.

✘ No need talk like caveman. Better way to do this.

Kokichi Ouma

♡ Like Nagito, I value his intelligence and crazy cunning.

✘ Shouldn't have died. Also shouldn’t have manipulated Gonta. That was just cruel.

Miu Iruma

♡ She has her hilarious moments and her death surprised me and was sad.

✘ Sometimes she lacks basic empathy, i.e. calling Tenko “Tencrotch” when she just fucking died.

Maki Harukawa

♡ Amazing character development. Didn’t see her surviving until the end at the start. Also her love and passion for Kaito.

✘ “Do you wanna die?” gets old.

Kaito Momota

♡ Just the overall best bro you could ever have.

✘ Has some toxic masculinity issues and anger issues.

K1-B0

♡ Pretty much everything about him. His design, his attitude and personality, especially how amazing and cool he is chapter 5 onward, his execution made me so sad. He’s so innocent and funny without trying.

✘ When you do his free time events he’s very arrogant and just talks about himself a lot... it seems odd and not similar to the Kiibo we see throughout the game.

Himiko Yumeno

♡ Super cute design, love her voice and “Nyeh...” and her sprites. Her character development is great as well.

✘ Why did they take so long to make her important and likable?

Tsumugi Shirogane

♡ An excellent and well hidden reveal

✘ I hate her. So annoying, from the voice to the references and her personality.

[skunked-up-kicks]

About Allison yeah. I think people acknowledge she’s a bit ableist and classist but they erase the fact she was fine/complicit with Seth’s homophobia and treatment of Nicky (tbh it seems like all the upperclassmen were??) + what that post said. This isn’t hate I love Allison! But I think she’s much more interesting as a character with flaws that make sense with her upbringing and backstory rather than just #girlboss.

okay my response to this is ungodly long so, if you're interested...

1. her ableism

the thing is when people do acknowledge her ableism it's always with how she treats andrew (which makes sense cause it's the most obvious, and they're not wrong) but it kinda results in an issue. the way these fics that acknowledge this usually go is that allison calls andrew 'monster' and maybe talks about how he's 'psychotic' or something. then it goes one of few ways:

1) neil tells her (and usually all the upperclassmen as they get grouped together seeing as they all do this) not to speak about andrew like that, maybe he threatens her or something. the problem with this is that he's just scaring her into being silent, her mindset doesn't actually change.

2) neil gives a speech about how andrew is actually good, and generally how he's 'not as bad as she thinks' or something. now correct me if i'm wrong, but the issue i see with this is that, it's not actually telling her that her mindset about people with mental illnesses and/or trauma is wrong- just that andrew isn't the right person to direct her ableism too, but there are people out there who are 'as bad as she thinks'. it's kinda like the attitude that as long as andrew does enough to redeem himself he can be treated as human and not a 'monster' which is... yeah.

3) basically the same issue as the last one, andrew proves he's actually good because allison and the others see him do something outwardly affectionate. thereby proving he is actually all good now.

sometimes fics have a mix of these but basically the thing is that her ableism is never actually 'fixed' (for lack of a better word). most that happens is that it's no longer directed at andrew, but this is a worldview that she has, it's not just a dislike of andrew- realistically it's not just isolated to him.

to clarify though, i'm genuinely not intending to shame people who write these fics cause they are acknowledging her ableism, which is good. and similar with how people approach aarons homophobia, it's incredibly hard to write someone overcoming a prejudice. i certainly couldn't do it, and realistically maybe it's not somethìng that can be done in a fic. given that often it's a long-term process where you have to check yourself often.

it's especially complicated because she somehow needs to come to the realization that villifying andrew isn't right because despite the wrong that he has done- and he has done wrong, we can't deny that- he is still a person deserving of at least the deceny to not be compared to a monster and dehumanised in that way. she needs to realise that while andrew shouldn't do those things and can be called out for it, that the way he acts is a product of his trauma. BUT he is still responsible for his actions, and while she can rightfully choose to not associate with andrew, she shouldn't discourage others from doing so in the way that she does. it really is complicated and there's a lot of nuance there which makes it a hard topic to deal with cause... how do you write someone learning that?

but yeah, that's my thoughts on that.

2. her classism

i honestly don't see people acknowledge this a lot? i think one of the ways we see it manifest is how she talks about the way neil dresses... and in fics she often insists neil buys better clothes, usually more expensive ones. which is portrayed usually as her being a caring friend, which i get, but i think neil would actually find this really annoying lol.

i think an interesting way to look at her classism would be in her and dans relationship given the extreme differences they grew up. same thing with her relationship with seth, as he grew up poor too.

with seth, she might have sometimes been ashamed of the way he acted and dressed, maybe of the way he spoke too...? i can picture them fighting over that and her being a bitch about it. she would probably speak badly about the place seth grew up in too..

with dan, i feel like dan might get frustrated when allison, for example, doesn't know how much ordinary things cost (a thing a lot of celebs have shown to have no knowledge of). or dan might even get jealous or angry at the way allison can just throw away her moneyvand buy things carelessly (think of her reaction when her car got trashed, she could just get another 'toy'), while she was brought up saving money at any instance she could.

not much to say on this tbh... i think it would be cool to see this explored a bit more though.

3. complicit in homophobia

someone made a post on here about how allison would be the type of girl to preach equality while having a homophobic boyfriend... and yeah.. that's it really lol, hit the nail on the head.

again, a lot of people make her very progressive and woke, and i think this is tied to the very common hc of her being bi. (despite the fact that when betting on neils sexuality she doesn't consider bi an option which makes me think she is canonically straight..). i think it's hard for people to address the fact that she is complicit in homophobia while also headcanonning her as bi, cause it seems like she wouldn't be if she actually was bi. from my knowledge, bi women (and bi ppl in general) not being supportive of gay people and/or not standing up against homophobia isn't really a common issue? (pls correct me if i am wrong though) usually prejudice goes the other way due to the biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community. so it's hard to think about and write about.

when it comes to the other upperclassmen, i seem to remember dan and matt standing up against seth? though i could be remembering that wrong or getting it confused with a fic.

4. #girlboss

i highly agree with you that she really does just get reduced to just a #girlboss a LOT. and i think the same thing happens with the other female characters... i mean, just look at katelyn. there's no evidence that she is some kind of badass but many want to make her one.. but she can be an interesting character without having to fit this ideal #girlboss.

i understand wanting to make female characters cool and badass but in the process it feels like we're losing variety... i personally don't want the exact same personality and way of acting plastered onto every female character.

a strong female character is not defined by how much they can kick a guy in the balls but rather how well they are written, and to be written well they need flaws. and when making female characters #girlbosses we usually lose the flaws :(

like you said, this isn't to hate on allison. i just think sometimes we miss the parts of her character that make her truly interesting.. and i think that's a real shame..

anyway, i think that that's all that i had to say lol. if you read up till this point, thank you! and thank you for the ask anon :)

[golbrocklovely]

review of sam and colby's hell week

since hell week is finally over, and i've had time to process all the videos, i figured now would be a good time to write out how i felt about each video. i didn't want to post about their videos during hell week since i was in the middle of writing for my 13 days of halloween and i already had enough on my plate lol

so here's what i thought about each of the hell week videos. i'm gonna give my general reaction, my rating of the video, and whether or not i would rewatch it.

i'm also gonna rate them from my favorite to least at the very end.

this is really long btw, so feel free to skip around or settle in lol

dracula's castle: this was good video to start off on. i think it brought a good mix of creepy and silly. nate and snc have such great chemistry together, and i hope they collab again soon bc i genuinely enjoy when they all hang out and do videos together. colby's fascination with their tour guide being a vampire was hilarious to me. and i have to note that i do like this video a lot bc it was about vampires, so it was right up my alley. hopefully they go to another vampire castle bc that would be sick. and they better take me with them otherwise i'm suing. but anyway, i saw everyone on here talking about it, and i wanted to add my two cents in that it really is so fucking strange how so many ppl/animals/spirits are drawn to colby. every new person they meet somehow always focuses on colby. him saying 'why is it always me?' is the god's honest truth tho. i was definitely unsettled by the spirit box (which again, colby looking like he's gonna die while doing it scares me) and the music box going off. i think that the video gave off nice creepy vibes, and i dig it. and the two most chaotic things i've ever seen colby do is literally shove his fingers into dirty vampire water and then bite into cloves of garlic. this man is insane and i'm not sure why i still stan him lmao

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

~~~~~~~~~

catacombs: this video was interesting. this video didn't really fall into paranormal for me, but it reminded me of all the xplr videos they used to do back in the day. first and foremost, i would never in a million years go to the catacombs. beside that i don't like enclosed spaces like that, i'm a big bitch and personally believe with my luck and body that things would collapse bc of me. so... props to the boys for putting themselves into that whole situation. their tour guide not really caring about them or what they do was accidentally hilarious. the devil room they went into was definitely creepy and i can only imagine the vibe it gave off, regardless of if you believe in paranormal or not. occultist stuff is not something you want to mess with, and i swear to god i think the boys are trying to get something to follow them bc they don't protect themselves like ever. do i think it was weird that the candles burned out one right after the other, and the cloak fell? yeah i guess, but idk if it was paranormal so much so that they were already freaked out and it spooked them more. i will say, having that room get progressively colder and colby literally shaking/shivering from how cold he was was eerie. but idk... this video just wasn't as spooky as i would have liked it. also it felt kinda long and slow.

rating: 2/5

would i rewatch: maybe? not entirely sure.

~~~~~~~~~

queen mary: i find it really interesting how ppl on here disliked the video. i mean, i get it to some degree, but personally i really loved it. it's interesting how back and forth i go with amanda. in some videos i don't mind her, and then in others she's really kinda annoying. and in this one it was the latter. personally idk why she was there. she didn't really add anything or talk to any spirits, besides the guy that got crushed by the door. but even then she didn't really say much. i'm not entirely sure why the boys believe her when she says that she doesn't do research on these places (bc she also literally admitted to knowing facts about the queen mary so... you think she wouldn't research to see who "haunts" the ship???). while i believe in psychics and medium, something about amanda just seems... off to me. i don't think she's outright lying or making up the shit she feels/sees, but it just doesn't feel 100% genuine. also side note, amanda writing something down that didn't even really connect to what was said on the spirit box but acting like it did was so fucking stupid and funny to me. and then her saying 'you're not the darkest spirit, i've seen darker' or whatever was such an eyeroll of a moment to me. idk if she's giving off this energy of being stronger than she is for the video or for her own protection's sake, but idk it's all a bit much to me. AND HER NOT BELIEVING IN PAST LIVES??? that was kinda dumb. personally, if i could literally see ppl that were dead, i think my mind would be a bit more open past the traditional christian values lol alright enough about her.

matt was great addition to the crew and i just love how quick he is to pretend to leave. his humor is on par with what i would probably do. it was also fun to see the parts of ship that we didn't get to before. the ballroom was beautiful. do i think every crack was a ghost? no, but it was funny to see their reactions like it was. and then with b340... i'm not gonna lie, i got chills bro lol i do think something with that room is completely off. i can just feel it thru the screen. and even if you don't believe, you have to believe that whatever snc experienced in there has scared them to their core. i honestly believe that something in that room doesn't like being filmed and that's what happened to them. idk why they wouldn't either record with any extra camera or do a voice recording as well bc that would save them the bs of the camera shutting off and footage getting deleted. sam got really effected during this video and it makes me really sad. i hate seeing him upset. and i'm glad that both him and matt had the courage to walk away for a moment when things got to be a bit too much. especially matt. i hope he's doing better. nonetheless, i think the stuff that they captured in that room was definitely interesting and this was the first video i actually felt kinda spooked. and i need to mention it now, but i really do hope that in the future the boys find a way to record what the spirit box is saying and put it in the videos that way ppl stop acting like they are faking it.

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: probably

~~~~~~~~~

pine barrens: idk what it was about this episode, but i had such high hopes for it... probably bc i'm from the east coast, i've heard about the jersey devil, and since i've lived around forests and explored them back when i was younger, i was excited for this video. and it ended up being really boring. i love the banter that seth, josh, and snc have, don't get me wrong, and that's really the shining part of this whole video. but something about this episode was just really lack luster for me. the lack of evidence wasn't really it, but something about this just wasn't even remotely creepy or scary to me at all. and it wasn't even like an xplr video where i can be interested in just the place alone. this could have been any random forest in the country and i wouldn't have known the difference. nothing about it felt special. i will say the man they talked to (who they later called their friend which was so cute btw) was so east coast to me, it's kinda hilarious. and i liked the info he was able to give about the jersey devil and the pine barrens themselves. maybe it's bc the boys didn't really do all that much research into the forest or the fact that nothing really happened, but i just didn't really enjoy this video. it had it's good/funny moments, but nothing about it was all that interesting. no offense to the boys, and i'm not trying to say that they should have given themselves more work to do, but a video like this... should have just been placed on xplrclub instead bc nothing happened. i mean, it's good that they didn't fake anything or try to force some paranormal shit. i do appreciate that. but this is hell week for christ's sake. i want spooky scary skeletons worth of content lol

rating: 1.5/5

would i rewatch: i'm not even gonna remember this video in a week or two, so no.

~~~~~~~~~

hotel del coronado: amanda... oh amanda. i know i already complained about her in the queen mary video, but i need to speak on here again. while i believe her abilities, i don't think the confidence she has is warranted, if that makes sense. her half-ass attempt at a prayer shouldn't be the one thing that is protecting snc and faze from getting permanently haunted. and again, i just don't believe her not researching things. if i'm wrong, i will gladly apologize, but there is no fucking way. and honestly, i wouldn't mind if she did some research, it would probably do better for her to know who apparently resides in the building than to go in not knowing, plus it might help her connect to certain spirits better. and her stopping it right before sam could really get into things with the estes method... that's so fucking annoying. i'm sorry, but what authority does she have to ask a question that boils down to 'r u good or bad?' and expect an answer? if an entity is from a different plain altogether, has existed 1000s of years, and operates under the belief that god and satan are two actual beings... what makes you think it has to answer to you???? you're not god, you're not powerful. you are a 20 year old girl with the powers of the kid from the sixth sense. while i want sam and colby to be safe and do things methodically (so to speak), using amanda isn't gonna cut it. stop taking her on trips.

now onto the rest of the video, i know literally dick all about faze rug, but he seems lovely. i really like his personality and the way he vibes with snc. and good on him declining to do the estes method. that shit seems scary as all hell (tho i am kinda interested to do it but also really not). but i genuinely like how faze acts with snc. weirdly, i don't like his videos on his channel with snc, but i do think he brings a fun naivety to their content (not that they're any better at knowing lmao). the hotel itself is fucking huge looking and that hallway was definitely trippy. i get they have a beach theme, but you could have a nautical looking hallway without the stripes. that employee... i hope is doing good, bc you could tell that he was still choked up over what he experienced. i haven't had something like that happen to me but i do believe that at one point i experienced a time jump/a shift in the time line we're on now (feel free to ask me about that another time), and that freaked me out a shit ton so i can only imagine what he felt. also it was interesting to hear colby say that that seemed like his version of hell to him, just being stuck repeating yourself over and over again but going nowhere. and how i feel about the paranormal and spirituality was summed up well by the employee. so, the shit that happened to them in their hotel room was creepy, ngl. the estes method and colby are a match made in hell bc every time colby does it, it's too fucking intense for me. like, i just get more and more anxious as time goes on. and the things he was saying were spot on with the questions being asked. and that knock they had while sam was doing the estes method was crazy. i love how protective colby got, he literally grabbed amanda, faze hid behind colby, and then colby reached over to sam, basically throwing his arms in front of everyone. i'm still annoyed that the video got ended early bc of amanda. i believe that snc need to take precautions and stop when things feel too intense, but if they weren't feel uncomfortable and they hadn't gotten contact with something that scaring them... they should have continued. idk how amanda can go from chasing a demon out of the lizzie borden house to asking if a spirit is from the right or the left and that's the proof that they took things too far lol

rating: 2.5/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess

~~~~~~~~~

waverly hills: i genuinely enjoyed this video from start to finish. this is one of the only videos from hell week that i had no problems with at all. them bringing back and working with that investigation duo again was fun. i think they really balance out snc's behavior when it comes to paranormal stuff and reactions. there's a certain level of professionalism that they have that snc don't lol kat and stas were nice in the video too. i can't believe stas saw more figures. that's fucking crazy to me. i saw a figure once when i was kid and freaked out, i can't imagine seeing something like that now. the amount of evidence that snc got in this video was insane. the rempod going off like that... idk what could be doing that other than ghosts. colby's heavy breathing and being fucking terrified of the rempod and the noises it was making was scaring me. that boy really knows how to get under my skin. the music box acting up (also the comment of colby actually having a problem with the music box being dead was so funny bc i weirdly like the music box too) was also really strange. the story of william was so sad :( who would kill an old man just chilling in a building alone? it's nice that he was following them around and maybe even protecting them. and then all the activity they got on the fifth floor and the evp session. that shit was fucking crazy. i hope that snc buy a voice recorder at some point bc using that to hear sounds around you is awesome and really good evidence. that spirit box session also fucking scared me. the 'which hand' voice... oof i got chills bro lol

also i wanted to make a quick side note that when snc were talking about waverly hills and telling it's history, colby looked really hot. and he makes a lot of faces for some reason when sam talks sksksks

rating: 5/5

would i rewatch: 100%

~~~~~~~~~

conjuring part 2: you all know how i feel about amanda in this video, and if not, read this post lol

but she was such a small part of the video, that i'm not gonna let her ruin the rest of it. so... i've said it a lot in this review, but this video was crazy. crazy is too nice of a word. honestly, this video was scary. anxiety-inducing. the fact that the second they stepped onto the property they were told 'you guys are fucked tonight' was one hell of a sign. the constant evidence they were getting was incredible. the double estes method? that was sick. and the fact that both their names came from each other was fucking insane. the rempod and the music box going off back and forth, like something was teasing them... that shit was spooky. and then when they were talking to the music box upstairs in the birthing room, that was heartbreaking to hear that the soldier needed help. but the second half, where they did the prayer outside and inside... i have no words. props to colby for staying inside by himself bc he looked so fucking terrified. sam did too, but colby was literally shaking like crazy and breathing like he ran a mile. and then sam seeing a figure in the window and then the door to the basement being locked. colby sounded so scared, and rightfully so.

my anxiety was at an all time high the whole time this video was on. it was like a horror movie from start to finish, and all i could ask for to be posted on halloween.

rating: 5/5

would i rewatch: already have lol

~~~~~~~~~

overall rating of hell week: 3.5/5

while i liked pretty much every video, i wanted more spooks and scares. if you're gonna call something hell week, make that shit scary. this was their first time doing hell week, so i'll give them a pass bc i can only imagine the crazy stuff that could be coming up for next year. i would like for them to bring back matt, nate, and the paranormal duo again, because those videos were the most fun to watch. kat and stas are also cool, but i figure they're gonna be coming back regardless haha josh and seth were also great, just not in the woods lol

and less amanda please.

i definitely enjoyed these videos. it's gonna be weird to not see them post every other day for a while. i'm gonna miss it truly.

favorite video to least

1. waverly hills

2. conjuring part 2

3. dracula's castle

4. queen mary

5. hotel del coronado

6. catacombs

7. pine barrens

[tobesobri]

Bust | Part One: Chisel (7.8k)

“Disappointed?” She tilted her head, smirking at him. She had no right to think he liked her better than Rose. She, herself, liked Rose better too. So she was sure he had to be at least a little bit sad to see Rose missing.

He smiled and the second she saw those dimples she was reminded of his Instagram all over again.

“A little,” he nodded, pinching his thumb and index finger together in the air and she painfully agreed.

“Well, you get me all by myself tonight.” She didn’t realize how it sounded until it was too late. Until she was cringing at all the sexual insinuations she’d just made for absolutely no reason. She could have said something else that wasn’t laced in an innuendo. But no, of course not. She had to continue her embarrassing streak when it came to Harry.

Instead of being creeped out by her, however, and pulling a confused and slightly terrified face, he laughed. And, on God, his laugh was the most amazing thing she’d ever heard. This wasn’t the first time the sound of his laughter graced her eardrums, but it was the first time he was laughing because of something she said that wasn’t about crooked penises.

“Lucky me.”

In which Y/N is an annoyance in Harry’s sculpting class.

story masterlist | my masterlist

It’s not her forte. Her hands don’t know how to hold onto things. They tremble under pressure. They mess things up no matter how hard she tries.

Not that she had really tried very hard to begin with.

Sculpting was just not something she saw herself doing. Ever. Not with her lack of agility and poor attention to detail. But to appease her whining best friend… she’d do just about anything.

The class was held in a little art studio with large windows for ventilation and tall ceilings to display the mass amounts of student artwork on butcher block shelves. She never thought she’d be back in a classroom type setting after graduating college, but here she was.

Learning, what she proclaimed as, a useless skill.

The studio was smack dab in the middle of an inclined street. Little quaint buildings that sat on an angle because why not pour foundations on a hill and make her weekly walks to the studio a little sweatier than she would have preferred. Even if it was winter in their little beach village town. Sweat still happened. It just happened underneath a scarf and a hand-knitted beanie from the sewing shop next door.

She could not deny, however, that the late afternoon classes every Wednesday and Saturday brought her way more joy than she’d anticipated. She looked forward to meeting up with Rose at the bottom-of-the-hill cafe, sharing the daily special with her before making their way up to the studio. It was calm in the middle and end of her hectic weeks that she most definitely needed.

What she didn’t need, however, what she most certainly did not look forward to, what she could have done without, what took her joy and smashed it against a wall was him.

The instructor.

Harry ‘I have nice hands and a misleading smile’ Styles.

It had only been two weeks into their classes and he had already told her one of her bowls was garbage. That the way she sculpted a face was terrifying. That she couldn’t draw for shit and that made her attempts at sculpting even worse.

So by Saturday of their second week, she didn't care anymore. He was a jerk and she would be the best pain in his ass she knew how to be.

While everyone called him Harry, like he’d asked them to the very first day, she called him Mr. Styles. Just to see the way his eyes rolled back into his head and his nostrils flared. While everyone asked him insightful questions, like what glaze was best to use or what tool sculpted eyes most efficiently, she asked him if she could use the bathroom.

She got a fucking kick out of irritating him. Knowing he went home after their classes just as irritated as she’d been. With clenched fists and a pounding headache.

It helped that he was insanely too attractive to be teaching a bunch of millennials about sculpting in his free time.

“You should really leave him alone, he might kick us out, you know,” Rose said on their first third week walk up Justice Hill. There was no justice in walking uphill, and most fucking certainly not in the humidity-ridden beachside town. She found the street name personally offensive.

“Oh fuck him. If he kicks us out, he’ll have to refund us.” Y/N did not, even for a second, bother to lower her voice as they neared the studio, knowing any one of the other students could hear her if they were to walk by.

“Refund us what? We got the class for free, remember?”

Y/N racked her brain like she’d completely forgotten that little detail before shrugging it off. “Whatever. He won’t kick us out.”

“How do you know for sure?”

Before she could make some stupid remark about how Harry secretly liked her pestering him or about how much he seemed much too impressed by Rose’s progress to ever get rid of them, the devil himself turned the corner in front of them.

He came out from an alleyway that connected the street to a tiny parking lot. And while they were going uphill, he was coming down. He was hard to miss and so were they, but still he attempted to not see them.

“What a prick,” Y/N mumbled under her breath as they got closer to each other. And almost as if he could read her lips, he rolled his eyes so fucking hard she thought maybe they’d finally pop right out of his head this time.

“Shush,” Rose warned as the three of them finally met in the middle, at the door to the studio that was decorated with a bright yellow ‘Open’ sign, children’s drawings, hand-painted hours of operation, and one too many polaroids of past students and their sculpting creations.

They all stood and stared at each other for a moment before he opened the door first, holding it as, to Y/N’s surprise, he let them go in first. And while she was still in shock at the gesture, his body language said it all. Like he was forcing himself to be nice to the dynamic duo, to the bane of his existence. While she was too distracted by Harry and his clay-stained trousers and cable-knit sweater with a cartoon deer embroidered on it, Rose walked into the studio first. Giving Harry a polite smile that he returned almost… genuinely.

And right when Y/N made a move to follow, Harry stepped in front of her. She jolted back as he just about let the door slam her in the face.

Today was going to be fantastic.

*                                              *                                 *

“Right, so,” Harry began, clapping his dry hands together as he took a seat behind his messy table at the front of the studio. “I know some of you haven’t finished your heads yet, but our focus today will still be on the bodies. We’ll have a catch up on Saturday to make up for it.”

Y/N sought out her head on the wall where she’d placed it last week beside Rose’s, realizing for the first time just how ugly it really was. And to think she’d been trying to sculpt Harry’s annoying face. Even more annoying that no matter what she did, he was always a lot more handsome than her hunk of polymer clay.

“... because, like I mentioned, we have special guests today who will be modeling for you.” Harry stood again while two very thin and very conventionally perfect people came out in white robes. Y/N couldn’t help but gag.

“This is Hope and Jordan.” Harry motioned as he introduced them, not getting any further in his instructions before Y/N raised her hand in the back of the class.

Rose attempted to get her to put it down, too, because Harry was clearly in the middle of something, but it didn’t really work out so well. Y/N was a stubborn son of a bitch.

“Yeah?” He pointed at her, sighing while planting his hands on his hips. He knew nothing she had to ask was going to be at all beneficial to the group.

She cleared her throat and just from the smirk on her face, he braced for impact. “Are they going to be modeling nude?”

She made just about everyone blush, except for Harry. He hated how she never took anything seriously. That the art he’d spent years perfecting enough to teach meant nothing to her. It was all just a primary school joke in her eyes.

“Yes, actually,” he answered bluntly and then returned to what he was going to say before Y/N’s interruption. “So I want everyone to get a piece of paper and while they’re modeling, do a rough sketch of what you might want the body of your sculpture to look like. The importance is to get the proportions down so that when you use the clay, you’ll know how much you’ll need for each part. Just like we did for the heads.”

Harry walked around the class once the models were stripped and the sketching began. Rose started immediately, concentration on her face as she flipped between the female model and her piece of sketchbook paper.

All Y/N had was a scratch piece of grey-toned mixed media paper she’d found laying on their table. And absolutely no clue where to even begin.

She stared at Harry instead of the naked models, watching as he helped others around the room, pointing at their sketches and where they could improve. His other hand behind his back that gave her perfect access to stare at his rings. Remembering how he’d taken them off guide their first few sculpting lessons. Remembering how his hands had so gently but so fucking firmly caressed the mound of clay into the exact shapes he wanted like he knew exactly what to do with those things.

“See it’s going just as I expected back here.” When his voice was at her ear, she jumped out of her skin and out of her daydreams. Twisting her head around to him as he stood behind her, she found him staring over her shoulder at her blank piece of paper.

She narrowed her eyes at him once she’d fully processed what he said. “Sorry I’m trying to figure out the best way to scale up that dude’s micro-cock, proportionally, if you don’t mind.”

He just about choked on his own spit, and rightfully so. But when he glanced to her eyes instead of her disappointing blank canvas, with his eyebrows furrowed and his cute little nostrils flared just the way she liked them, it was clear his reaction wasn’t for the reasons she’d intended.

He was quiet. Lips pursed, mind completely empty apart from hearing her say cock over and over again. Echoing against his skull. Making a home for itself in his hippocampus for later purposes. When he was not in a class full of students with their eyes on him, watching him get hard at the fucking way she said cock.

“Leave you to it then,” he cleared his throat and continued on.

“He may not kick us out, but killing you is still an option,” Rose whispered once Harry was a safe distance away from them.

Y/N leaned back in her seat to watch him walk down the rest of their row. His hands behind his back again, eyes wandering over shoulders.

As long as he had those rings on while he choked her out, she was okay with that.

*                                              *                                 *

Everyone had moved on to their bodies. Gathering the clay they needed from the front and using their sketches as guidelines to build around the pre-made wire and aluminum foil armature. Most everyone had some sort of a form being attached to the heads of their sculptures by the time Y/N even got started.

Because she decided on using Harry as reference after all and he would just not stand still.

With the models gone, they were on their own, with help from Harry of course. He played several videos and gave various demonstrations to aide them. It wasn’t supposed to be perfect, but after she gave it her all for about ten minutes, she was ready to give up. Her body looked like a very lumpy, very deformed version of Shrek.

She took a break again, watching Rose sculpt for a while instead. She watched Harry sometimes too as he walked around the class again in gloves this time. Smoothing out features and picking up tools to aid in the process of forming collarbones and wrinkles.

The studio was in its typical state of disarray. Random cups of milky water on every table, pieces of clay smushed into the tile floor, tools and used gloves strewn about with no rhyme or reason. Harry thrived in that kind of environment while Y/N well… she hated it.

She wanted organization and cleanliness. Her nine-to-five called for that kind of thing. But she was slowly getting used to it. To letting go and embracing the mess while she was here. She wasn’t the one that had to clean it all up anyways.

The only time she wasn’t daydreaming was when Harry started up their aisle again, walking in front of their table this time however. He helped a couple others at the end of their row, watched some of them work before eventually landing right in front of Rose’s station.

He cocked his head to the side while he watched her struggle to form an even pair of breasts on her headless lady. And even though Y/N was trying her best to look busy, she just couldn’t help it.

Rose handed her work in progress over to him with a frustrated huff after he offered his assistance. And like… no way was Y/N missing out on Mr. Harry fucking Styles fingering some clay into the perfect set of boobs. No way.

Especially fucking not when he removed his gloves and used those fingers in their bare glory the way she wished he’d use them someplace else. She watched while he slapped some more clay on Rose’s poor flat-chested model and proceeded to smooth it out with his expert fingertips. She watched the clay melt under his touch, watching him dip into their shared cup of water to aid the process. She looked away long enough to admire the concentration on his face, the way he bit down on his lip and furrowed his brows the way she was used to. She watched again while he fixed all of Rose’s mistakes just by gliding his thumbs over the two perfect little lumps on her sculpture that sure as hell hadn’t started out so perfectly.

She had no idea why Harry sculpting a tiny set of breasts on what would eventually become a mermaid got her so hot and bothered but… it did. It did so fucking much, she was almost salivating like a dog by the end of it, thinking about what his hands could do with the real deal. But then he handed it back to Rose with a content smile on his face and burst Y/N’s little bubble.

“Might be better,” he said softly and Rose nodded in agreement. She hadn't noticed before, but when he stood to his full height it was clear he’d been leaning over on their table. Closer to the both of them than he’d ever really been before. And she knew he was tall, taller than Rose, who was five foot seven inches herself. And not just that but his shoulders were broad and his arms were a humble amount of muscular. Almost like he was a sculptor that kneaded clay a hundred hours a week. Maybe that was why she was a soaking wet mess.

He stretched his gloves back onto his hands and glanced Y/N’s direction. Eyes going straight from her disaster of an art piece to her flushed face and back.

“Don’t even know where to start to fix yours up,” he commented while moving slightly to his right until he stood directly in front of Y/N this time.

She looked at her abomination, wondering if it would be her worst idea to push more of his buttons or not. But, she went for it anyways. Her lack of impulse control would definitely come back to bite her in the ass one day.

“It’s the penis. Still haven’t gotten that down yet.”

He nodded, amused rather than his previous reaction to her antics. “Can see that, yeah. He’s got a bit of a crooked willy there.” Harry poked at it with his index finger and she became hyper aware of his closeness this time while he leaned over her tabletop again. Because his hands were right there, almost touching her own. And they were big, bigger than she realized. She could see him perfectly through the transparent gloves, his long fingers with clipped nails at the end that were well taken care of, considering.

She would need to soak herself in holy water for a while after this.

“Oh, is that not what the male anatomy looks like?” She teased, not fully realizing they were getting along for the first time and it was because of dicks. Because she’d put an oddly shaped protrusion on her figure before she’d even done much else with the blob of clay stuck to her form.

“No,” he laughed, shaking his head at her and standing up straight again. “Maybe if you paid attention when the models were out here, you’d know that.”

“Maybe if you hired someone who’s cock I could actually see from all the way back here without a fucking magnifying glass.” She was only slightly aware of how fully immersed she was in the debate over this penis.

But all he heard was cock again. She really needed to stop saying that. Because this time his mind was a little more imaginative while he stared at her lips and thought about the way she might say that on her knees in front of him.

He shook his head clear. She was an insufferable nuisance that he just barely tolerated on a good day. He didn't need her clogging up his brain with her cock talk too.

“Just fix it.” He mumbled.

She huffed when he left her to her own devices, not even bothering to offer his help, but she really shouldn’t expect any less. If he helped her, he would be doing it all for her. And that was hardly the point of taking a class to learn how to sculpt if the hot instructor was just going to do everything for you.

“Is there a reason why you’re arguing with him about penises?” Rose asked, hushing her voice around the apparently taboo word.

“It’s fun. And if I’m going to sit here in this stupid class with you I’m going to have some fun.” Y/N, on the other hand, was not hushed or subtle at all, as she ripped off the phallic piece of clay from her sculpture.

Rose cringed when she glanced past Y/N to find Harry looking right at her. He had been helping someone a few seats down and clearly not far enough away to have missed what Y/N said. All of his features drooped and he looked genuinely upset. Rose wished she could put a filter over Y/N’s mouth to save everyone from her insensitive outbursts. Especially Harry. He always tried so hard and for Y/N to brush everything off and boil it all down to a ‘stupid class’ even broke Rose’s heart a little. So she could only imagine how Harry felt.

After their typical hour and a half was up, once everyone at least had some semblance of a body minus the legs and arms, Harry called the class back to order.

“Alright, that’s time. You can put your armatures back on the shelves, carefully. As always, I’ll be around for a little while after. Have a great rest of your night, I’ll see you all on Saturday.” He finished his spiel, turning away to help clean up before a lightbulb went off in his head and his voice rang through the studio again, “Oh, and make sure you bring your sketches back with you!”

Everyone worked on cleaning up, including Harry. And while Y/N took both her and Rose’s sculptures over to their respective spots on the shelves, Rose walked up to the front of the class without any warning whatsoever.

She tapped Harry’s shoulder and watched while his smile faded just the tiniest bit after he turned to find her. That Rose’s poor face had to be associated with the thunderstorm that was Y/N.

“I just wanted to say sorry… about Y/N.” Both Rose and Harry glanced at the girl in question near the back of the studio, playing with their two sculpted bodies like they were barbie dolls. “I forced her to do this with me so she hasn’t really taken it seriously. But I’m really enjoying the class, you’re a fantastic instructor.”

His smile returned again and if he was being honest with himself, it really did make him feel better to hear her say that. He had some sort of a reasoning for Y/N’s horrible attitude and while he wished it was her apologizing and not Rose, he figured it was good enough.

“Thank you. You’re doing really well so far. I’ll see you on Saturday, yeah?”

She nodded, giving him one last polite smile before trotting back to Y/N and helping her clean up the last bits around their workstation.

“Please do not tell me you were flirting with him.” Y/N gagged, using a ball of clay to gather the little pieces spread across their table like a magnet.

“No, actually, I was apologizing to him for your behavior.”

Y/N snapped her head up, first at Rose and then Harry all the way across the room from them. “You what?”

“He’s just trying to teach and you’ve been a fucking knobhead.”

Y/N gasped in fake offense, which was actually slightly real offense. “Excuse me, he made fun of my bowl the first day, you seem to have forgotten about that.”

“A toddler could have made a better bowl than that, Y/N, and you know it.”

She frowned, grumpily averting her eyes to the table with her arms crossed over her chest like she really was a toddler.

“I’m just saying,” Rose started, a bit calmer this time, “stop pestering him.”

*                                              *                                 *

Y/N thought about everything Rose had said. About how much she wished she could take things seriously and not constantly get on people’s nerves all the time, but she simply did not know how to. Taking the piss out of things and making jokes was how she got through her days.

But she did agree. Harry didn’t deserve her behavior. Maybe he was a bit of a jerk to her to begin with, but insulting his class might’ve been crossing a line.

Because she didn’t actually think it was stupid. She quite enjoyed listening to him. She liked learning something new and following his instructions as he walked them through some of his techniques. She liked being connected to all the people in the little studio, even if only briefly. Complete strangers all shared that one little thing in common and it made her all fuzzy and warm inside each time she met up with Rose at the end of every Wednesday and Saturday.

Hiding behind a bit of humor, however, was a lot more comfortable than admitting she found pleasure in anything as corny as sculpting classes.

On Friday night, boredom got the best of her and she took a chance upon searching Harry’s name on Instagram while she took her weekly bath. It had been Rose’s idea, the bath, not stalking her attractive sculpting instructor online. That decision was completely her own. But the baths at the end of stressful weeks had a little influence from her best friend, as did most aspects of her life. Baths were a waste of time, in her opinion, and she preferred the efficiency of showering. But Rose had given her nice smelling soaps and weird fizzy things for bath time and well… she couldn’t let them go to waste.

So, amid her regularly scheduled, once-a-week bath, she scrolled shamelessly through Harry’s feed. Because he did, in fact, have an instagram. And she only knew it was him because every fourth post was a video and in said videos were his hands. And, fuck, they were just as nice on film as they were in person.

He didn’t post much of his face, which she thought was an actual crime, but there was a lot about him and his sculpting. She found out it had been his sister’s birthday recently, who, when she smiled, looked just like him. He’d also just finished a piece he seemed really proud of, a clay head and bust of a pit bull, to which he linked in the caption about a local shelter who rescued the breed specifically and needed donations. Her heart nearly fucking melted.

Harry wasn’t much of an open book, though, unless he let his art do most of the talking. He seemed to enjoy sculpting women the most, which is probably why he’d been so good at de-lumping the breasts on Rose’s mermaid. But all the female sculptures he made weren’t sexual at all. They had meaning behind them. Like every single clay face she clicked on throughout his photos had a story. Like he was uplifting rather than fetishizing.

And not every single one of them was skinny and had perfect features. She was shocked to see at least half of the creations she’d skimmed through were of larger women with imperfect breasts at times and asymmetrical faces. Not sticking to typical European beauty standards as she may have originally assumed he might.

It made glancing down at her very much imperfect body feel a little less like an attack. Because Harry spent his time putting all his love into his little sculptures with diverse body types that she almost felt ashamed for ever hating hers.

Once she was done clicking on just about every single post he’d ever made, she finally found a selfie. Well… not really a selfie. Someone else had clearly taken it of him candidly while he had been working. But there was an awfully cute smile on his face and very familiar dimples poking into his cheeks that make her heart warm up again.

He wasn’t a damn thing like she’d assumed he was from the beginning. She thought his art centered around the ideal, and that maybe he was a little condescending because of it. But his Instagram told a different story about his art. And she wanted to know so much more about him.

She was completely lost in her dreams about him that just the smidge of distraction led to accidentally liking a photo of his from two years prior.

She’d have to move countries. Change her name. Delete everything. Never look back. Y/N? A distant memory.

Before dropping her phone in the tub and really making a complete ass out of herself, she threw it, instead, onto her furry rug in the middle of the bathroom and sunk herself down into the water. Wondering if it would really be so bad if she just drowned a little bit.

Because she desperately wanted to. There was nothing she could do. Not even unliking the picture would help. He’d still see the notification. Still click onto her page and realize who in the fuck had just liked a two-year-old post of his that he, himself, had probably even forgotten about.

She wanted nothing more than to sink her head under the pink-tinted water and never come back up. Her mind would not stop with the visualizations of what his reaction might be. Things he might be thinking. Like is this that fucking bitch from my sculpting class? Or whether or not she might find herself blocked by morning.

God, just make it stop.

But suddenly her phone buzzed and her heart just about stopped beating. It had to be the notification that Harry blocked her. Was that even a thing? Did Instagram notify you if someone blocked you? And why was her phone on silent? Because her Instagram notifications and her text messages made very different sounds. If it was just a text, she’d consider ignoring it. She’d continue marinating in all her shame a little while longer. But it ate her alive not knowing what the buzzing was from.

So, carefully, she pulled herself upright and reached across the floor until she had her phone in her hand. Before she clicked the screen on, though, she closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath.

But when she opened her eyes and found out why her phone had buzzed, she let that breath out and settled her ass down again. It was Rose.

Hey, I can’t make it tomorrow for class. Felt like absolute shit at work today and had to go home because as it turns out I have the flu.

“Fuck,” Y/N mumbled to herself. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go alone because facing Harry after she just did what she did was one thing, but doing it all by herself was another. But a part of her did still want to go tomorrow. The part before her horrific accident when she was full on getting a love boner over Harry. She’d wanted to see him again so fucking bad.

Okay. I probably won’t go too then

Y/N physically frowned at the idea of waiting another five days to see Harry again. Her brain really needed to make its fucking mind up about him. Did she want to see him or not?

No! You have to go and tell me what I missed!

Y/N rolled her eyes, but felt relieved. Even after her embarrassing slip up, her desire to see Harry again still prevailed. And she hated it. How was she even supposed to look him in the eye tomorrow, both of them knowing damn well she’d been stalking his Instagram back to two fucking years ago?

*                                              *                                 *

It was beyond weird sitting in their usual cafe on Justice Hill alone, even without the whole Instagram fiasco of the previous night she was trying everything in her power to forget about.

However all the desperate attempts to bury that awful experience were fruitless when she glanced across the room over her latte and found a very familiar set of grumpy-looking eyes already staring at her. But once she did notice him, he immediately looked away, stepping up to the counter to order his own cup of coffee.

She nearly choked on her drink, having to set it down and wipe what had spilled onto her chin off with a napkin she’d already used to sop up another one of her messes.

Of the three weeks now they’d been going to classes and frequenting the cafe just before, she’d never seen Harry. It was like he didn’t have a life outside being an instructor. He just popped up in the studio and she always left before him so she had no idea what he did after class either.

But seeing him here was like seeing a fucking unicorn in real life.

She couldn’t help watching him either, even if she knew she shouldn't. But, in her defense, he was wearing beautiful wine-colored corduroy pants with a tight white t-shirt tucked into them and a beige coat thrown over his arm to match. And for shoes he had on his usual white vans that had gained a few more scuff marks since the last time she’d seen him. His fashion would look terrible on anyone besides him.

He glanced her way again, briefly, when he left the counter with his cup, fighting his legs from walking in her direction but not exactly winning that battle.

And to her surprise, he stood right in front of her, behind the chair where Rose usually sat.

And when she looked up at him, he completely forgot why he had come over. He had no fucking clue what he was doing there. But it was too late now for him to back away and pretend like it never happened.

“Your friend's not coming?” His voice shook, but she didn’t notice with the way he finally took his fucking eyes off of her and gave her a chance to breathe again. He glanced at his watch just to confirm that it was, in fact, only five minutes until class started and it seemed reasonable to assume Rose wasn’t meeting her before then.

She pulled herself together and pretended like his close presence wasn’t intimidating her in the slightest.

“Disappointed?” She tilted her head, smirking at him. She had no right to think he liked her better than Rose. She, herself, liked Rose better too. So she was sure he had to be at least a little bit sad to see Rose missing.

He smiled and the second she saw those dimples she was reminded of his Instagram all over again.

“A little,” he nodded, pinching his thumb and index finger together in the air and she painfully agreed.

“Well, you get me all by myself tonight.” She didn’t realize how it sounded until it was too late. Until she was cringing at all the sexual insinuations she’d just made for absolutely no reason. She could have said something else that wasn’t laced in an innuendo. But no, of course not. She had to continue her embarrassing streak when it came to Harry.

Instead of being creeped out by her, however, and pulling a confused and slightly terrified face, he laughed. And, on God, his laugh was the most amazing thing she’d ever heard. This wasn’t the first time the sound of his laughter graced her eardrums, but it was the first time he was laughing because of something she said that wasn’t about crooked penises.

“Lucky me.”

He left her so fucking speechless, that after he started backing away from her table, reminding her to not be late, she still ended up being late. Because she sat in her chair for what felt like a century repeating his two words over and over again in her head.

Lucky me.

She knew he was only teasing but the way he’d just gone along with her original joke and how his voice sounded when he said it, she could not believe it. She could also not believe how Harry had some kind of massive hold on her that she sat staring at a wall for ten minutes trying to figure out how to operate properly again just to get up out of her chair.

Lucky fucking me.

She could scream.

If she wasn’t in public.

There was an extra pep in her step as she took Justice Hill alone this time, partially because of how giddy Harry had made her and partially because she was late… right after he told her not to be. But how was she supposed to be on time after what he’d just done to her emotions. And to the throbbing mess between her legs, but that's another story entirely.

Everyone was all over the place when she’d finally arrived, though, so it made slipping in the back that much easier. Not that she got past Harry’s watchful eyes, though, but at least she wasn’t interrupting anything while the class readied their workstations for another full night of going ham on their sculptures.

Harry kept his eyes on her mostly the entire time she did the same at her empty little area, watching as she tucked her purse under the desk for safekeeping and threw a couple tools he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her use onto the table. When she wandered off to the wall of shelves to retrieve her absolutely horrifying work of art, he finally gave her some privacy again. But he couldn’t help the fact that he’d been worried sick when she didn’t show up on time after he’d just seen her at the cafe, thinking something horrible could have happened to her between there and here.

So making sure she was unscathed before he, too, got his area organized was essential.

She sat in her chair and stared at what she had made the past three weeks. They’d started with something simple on the first day, taking a pre-cut slice of clay and free-handing a bowl with a few tips from Harry thrown in here and there. Then they jumped straight in after he showed them a few clips of sculptors working, pausing to explain specific things about creating a head and face. They were given everything they needed to make sculpting a complete figurine of a human body as easy as possible.

And still, she managed to create a combination of Shrek and the abominable snowman.

She huffed, wondering if she asked nicely enough Harry would let her just start all over. But before she could even think to do so, he clapped his hands together and got everyone’s attention for today’s mini-tutorial.

He explained smoothing to them and how there were many different ways of doing it so that your end results weren't littered in fingerprints. He reminded them to use water to smooth out the initial shapes of the clay they wanted and if they were having a really hard time with too much warmth from their fingers to use the gloves.

He ventured a little into detail work of the bust, showing a short clip of another artist forming collar bones with just two tools and her fingers. He explained what tools those were and why they were the most efficient for details and went on some more about other detail tools that were good for different things.

And the entire time she was far too lost in his voice and how his eyes lit up passionately when he rambled to even think about the fact that she wasn’t taking a single note for Rose’s sake.

They’d done a few lessons on details for the face, but they had yet to really get that far, only having put on tentative eyelids, lips and a nose for their heads before he really dove deep into details in what she assumed would be a full class later on.

And when he finally took a break to ask for any questions, she was, of course, the first to raise her hand. He thought about ignoring it, knowing all too well that anytime Y/N raised her hand in the back of his classroom, she was up to no good. But he was too nice to do that to anyone, even her.

So he called on her by nodding his head and she cleared her throat while he grimaced, expecting the worst.

“So, um, for example if we were going to do bigger details like abs on a male figure, what would be the best tool for that?”

He could have sworn he was having a heart attack. He had to blink a few times just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. She was actually asking him a legitimate question, and a good one at that. He had to repeat what she said in his head first, just to make sure it was real, before he answered, completely unprepared.

“Um… well after you lay out the clay where you want on the body, you can use one of the knives to blend the edges,” he held up an example of one for her, “and then a large ball or oval tool like this,” he held up another, “to smooth everything out. You’d probably want a more blunt pointed end to shape them, though, after you blend the clay in.”

She nodded like she’d been fully absorbing every single word coming out of his mouth and then he watched as she dug around quietly in the tool kit on her desk, in search of the types of tools he’d mentioned.

He could not fucking believe it though. She finally showed a stitch of interest in learning about sculpting. And he had no idea why she decided to right now. Maybe it was because she was without her partner in crime, but either way he was stunned. Absolutely fucking marveled.

After a few more questions and some demonstrations, he let everyone go and continue working on their projects while he circled the room as he normally did. And he found himself glancing at her from time to time, all by herself in the back with a genuine look of concentration on her face as she attempted making her creature a little less loch ness monster and a little more human.

Eventually, after he figured she was giving it enough effort for him to step in and help if she needed, he headed her way. And just as she sensed him walking down her aisle, while she was busy shaving off clay, a piece of it went flying into the air, completely out of control.

He stopped in his tracks after almost being smacked in the face with a chunk of clay and bent over to pick it up before someone squished it into the bottom of their shoes. He leaned over the edge of the table in front of her again, setting the piece of clay down next to her gently while she bit her lips between her teeth and tried to hide her embarrassed red cheeks behind her hands.

“Sorry!” She squealed at him, further digging herself into a hole.

He shook his head, “S’alright. Not the first time that’s happened.”

She laughed at the thought of him actually getting hit in the money maker with a hunk of clay and it eased her worries a little.

“So how are those abs going then?” He asked.

She stared at her sculpture for a moment before she sighed and turned it around to face him. It wasn’t as bad as it had been before, but it was still pretty rough.

“Mind if I…?” He held his hands out and she, without a single hesitation, handed it over to him.

He immediately grabbed the shaving tool she’d been using, and since it still sat next to her where she’d put it down moments ago, his fingers brushed against her hand when he picked it up. Sending every one of her nerves in the general area on a field day to mess with her nether regions again. It’s just… his fucking hands were an art form in and of themselves. His knuckles prominent, stretching soft skin around the bone. His veins protruding every time he made a more delicate move that required precision. Even the ones on his arms underneath the ink when he was a bit more rough with her sculpture sent her over the moon, while he shaved off bits and pieces with firm pressure to define the shape of the body and somehow create a human-like figure from her mess.

Then he started smoothing down the surface with a little water on his fingers and she went batshit. His hands while dry were one thing, but sparkling, wet, slippery fingertips? Lord have mercy.

She watched him spread a chunk of extra clay onto what would be the figure’s chest to build it up a little more with the knowledge of their previous conversations about dicks and abs making it clear she was attempting to make a male figure. She couldn’t help but watch his muscles flex underneath his tight white t-shirt. From far away across the cafe it had caught her attention. And now right here, she was definitely not letting it go unnoticed. It wasn’t too tight that he looked ridiculous, but just the right amount to show off every curve of his biceps and triceps and whatever other -ceps he had hiding underneath the shirt. He was normally in oversized tops so she was taking full advantage while she still had the chance to.

When he handed it back to her, it was like he’d done some kind of magic spell to get it to look so good after what she’d given him to work with. He leaned forward a little more and pointed at the figure’s chest and she was only halfway paying attention to him when he spoke, mostly focusing on how close he was and every single time he accidentally brushed his skin against hers.

“So if you want to make the abs,” he paused to glance over and dig through her pile of tools until he found the one he was looking for. “Use this to kind of sketch out the shape like we did with the faces,” he took the ball tool and rolled it down the middle of the chest, making a short indent to separate where the pectorals might be, “then you can add on the dimension like I was saying earlier.”

She took over the tool when he flipped it around and gave it to her so she could try for herself. And he watched for a short while as she did what he said to do, sketching out tentative abs, but not really knowing exactly what they looked like to come to any sort of realistic end. Her figure started to look like a shirtless Johnny Bravo.

He just giggled and pointed his stupid finger back into her personal space, smoothing down her mistakes until they disappeared, “Have you never seen a six-pack that wasn’t on a cartoon character?”

She racked her brain, trying to say something funny, but once she looked into his eyes, nothing came to mind. “Of course I have. I just don’t know how to make them look realistic.” She couldn’t exactly remember the last time she’d been faced with a naked man’s chest, but she had seen them before.

“Well…” Harry sighed, resting his head on his hand and staring at her sculpture sideways, “he doesn’t have to have abs.”

And then she said it. Something worse than her earlier set of words back at the cafe. She had no clue what was going on with her tonight, but she needed an ass-kicking for it.

“Do you have abs?”

“Me?” His eyes flickered up to hers in shock and it was far too late for her to backtrack, she was here and she had to face what she’d done. Even while he looked at her like she was fucking insane.

“Uh, well. I mean…” She had no fucking clue what she meant. And even if she did, she sure as shit wasn’t telling him.

Then it clicked in his brain. “You’re not using me as reference, are you?”

After a solid three seconds of just staring at him, she laughed. “No, of course not.”

“Hope so after you gave him that wonky penis.”

She sighed once they were through it. Once he’d proved, yet again, that he didn’t make her embarrassing statements feel as bad as they really were. He kind of just... went along with it.

But then she made it even worse.

“So yours isn’t wonky and crooked, then?”

Jesus, fuck Y/N just shut up.

His smile never faded, however, and instead, he leaned close again and whispered, “Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to find out.”

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

Your mess is mine

Sue may only be a math major, but she knows this much about telling a story: it needs to have a beginning, middle, and an end.  

If she were to sit down and write one, here is where it would start — Emily laughs and she falls in love. It doesn’t matter the year, the month, or the minute; when Emily laughs, she falls in love. Sue’s a little slow when these things are concerned, love doesn’t come to her as quickly or as easily as it has historically come to Emily. I saw you in the coffee shop and I knew you were the one, she’s fond of telling Sue, usually during fights. It’s highly annoying that Emily thinks it’d work on her. Even more annoying is the fact that it does. 

Alright, does she have moments of intense déjà vu sometimes? Like when they’re lying in bed, after one of Austin’s house parties, and Sue curls up into Emily’s soft shoulders, plays with her pretty, pretty hands? Or when she catches Emily conked out in front of her laptop in a corner table at the café on her break and gently wakes her up? Sure. But isn’t that what love is? The same five gestures repeated in infinite ways, creating a well of infinite affection. So if walking the steps with Emily settles deep into her bones without flinching, as if they’ve done this before, she’s convinced that it’s because they’re well and truly perfect together. 

(Definitely not because — and this is something that has been occurring to her more and more lately — they were star-crossed lovers in a past life a century ago.) 

(That would be crazy.) 

(Right?) 

***** 

Falling in love aside, Emily can be really, infuriatingly, secretive about the worst of things. Sometimes it is charming, watching her having to pick her way through multiple explanations, create long-winded detours just to attempt to confuse Sue into getting exasperated enough to drop the subject altogether. But that’s at the very end, when it turns out that she was going to all this trouble to make sure Sue wasn’t going to find out she’d gotten her that one Hawaiian shirt Sue had off-handedly admired once, aeons ago. Or that she’s been holed up in their room all day because she’s been setting up lights in honor of it being exactly six months since they first hugged. Which is why she is more resigned that surprised when Lavinia sits down in front of her, leans in, and asks her what she’s doing for Emily’s birthday next week. 

Sue sneaks a look at Emily who is currently chatting with an old lady who usually comes in on the weekends. Her girlfriend happens to be one of those baristas who is beloved by the elderly, God only knows why. All the older ladies will hang back at the counter and tell her all about their grandkids’ schools and ballet recitals. In return, Emily will rant to them about college and apparently, Sue as well, which was something she discovered one day when she walked in and two old ladies gave her teasing yet approving smiles from their table. 

(And then took her aside to whisper — Showing a little skin wouldn’t do any harm and would keep your girl on her toes — which near about killed her)  

The entire situation is hilarious. Also the most adorable thing she has ever seen. 

“Why haven’t you guys discussed your birthdays yet?” 

“It’s just never,” Sue muses, “come up, I guess.” 

Austin rollerblades past, swivels to a stop and bends so he’s approximately level with their faces. “Are we talking about,” he says, lowering his voice to a comical whisper, “Emily’s birthday?” 

Lavinia pulls him down, so he’s sitting on the spare chair. “And Sue’s, apparently. Did you know her birthday falls, like, nine days after Emily’s?” 

Austin stares at her, wide-eyed. “That means it’s on the.... 19th? 

Sue nods. 

“The 19th of December? After Emily’s birthday, on the 10th of December?” 

“Y....es?” 

He swipes at his phone, taps a couple of buttons, and then looks up with a smug smile. “I knew I remembered something. Look.” 

Lavinia has to angle her whole body to see, but it registers for both of them at the same time. A certain poet and her muse, who also apparently shared the same birthday as her and Emily. 

“Huh,” Lavinia says. “Maybe there is something to Emily’s theory after all.” 

“You mean Emily’s theory that we’re the reincarnations of those two?” she asks, hearing her own voice get progressively more hysterical by the word. She clears her throat, takes a deep breath, adds it to the list of rapidly growing coincidences in her head that she’s never going to give a closer look to, because that would be crazy. 

“Really the only part of this I’m genuinely shocked by,” Lavinia says after a long pause, in which Sue is struggling to reason with the logical part of her brain, “is that Austin remembers Emily Dickinson’s birthday.” 

Austin smiles proudly, and the thought is so funny that it drives potential insanity out of her mind eventually. 

***** 

“Why didn’t you tell me your birthday’s tomorrow?” 

Emily startles from where she’s staring out the window of the car, and Sue has about a moment to regret blurting it out before they’re looking at each other. She’d spent the entire week setting up the entire thing for Emily and now it probably won’t even be a surprise, but she’s insanely curious. No better time for it, either way. She’d planned everything perfectly, from picking up Emily at the café in the classy car she’d borrowed from Austin, to making sure it wasn’t too late after dinner. And yet, here they were, surrounded by cars and honking people because traffic was a fickle bitch. 

“Is that why we’re taking this trip?” she asks, wide-eyed. 

Sue extends a hand towards her, ruffles up her hair, feeling fond. Trust her idiot girlfriend to not have figured it out yet. She moves her hand to Emily’s cheek, and feels Emily cover it with her own. Feels a soft kiss pressed against her palm. 

“What did you think it was, dumdum?” 

“Well, it is the three month anniversary of—” Sue’s alarm is probably showing on her face, so she backtracks quickly. “Kidding. Kidding. There’s nothing tomorrow.” 

Sue pinches at her cheek. “Except your birthday. Speaking of which—” 

“Eh,” Emily shakes her head, shuffles around on her seat awkwardly, “it’s.... uh, complicated.” 

“Is the complication that you happen to share a birthday with a poet from long ago?” she’s only half-joking.  

Emily laughs at that. “Caught on, did you? Did you also check—” 

“E-yup.” 

“That your birthday is also—” 

“E-yup,” she says. Then turns to look at Emily. “Wait. How do you know when my birthday is?” 

Emily opens her mouth, but before she can say anything Sue hurriedly cuts in. “And you’re not allowed to say you have your ways.” 

Years ago, when Sue was fourteen, one day her dad and her mom came home with the same vegetable. Same quantity. It was beans, and she could vividly remember all three of them staring down in mock dismay at the two separate huge bundles of beans that now took up most of the space on the table. Then they started comparing prices. Turns out her mother’s bundle had cost a couple cents lesser than her father’s. But it’s not the same , her mother had insisted, holding up both the bundles. See, yours weighs more. I think the grocer I bought it from took some off . 

To this day, she defines love as the way her mother’s hand fell over his, combined with the way her dad looked at her next — like a child who had just been told that the blanket fort he’d spent hours constructing, wasn’t going to be torn down. Like someone had just handed a piece of the world to him, and told him to make of it whatever he wanted.  

Sue recognizes it in the way Emily looks at her. Like she’s saying — Of course. Of course, you know me well enough to guess the next stupid thing that comes out of her mouth. 

(She’s not very good at love, but she hopes Emily can read the answer in her eyes just the same) 

“Birthdays are complicated,” Emily says, slowly. “I’ve had some very good ones and then some very bad ones.” First girlfriend who she asked out on her 20th birthday, and second girlfriend who she broke up with a week before her 23rd; Sue fills in the blanks as she talks. “So I guess I try not to tell people so I myself don’t expect anything out of it. Neutral birthdays are better than euphoric ones or sad ones, because at least they don’t haunt me forever.” 

“Baby,” she says, and then trails off. Sometimes she likes calling Emily endearments, or just say her name out loud, randomly, even if there’s no statement attached to it. The sentiment’s always the same, however. I’m glad you exist. I’m glad you found me. I like your name. I love you.  

(Emily’s fallen asleep by the time she’s driven to the top of the grassy knoll, by the time the clock hits midnight. Sue lets her sleep through it. There will be time to sit on top of the blanket and watch a sleepy Emily blow out the candles on a tiny cake that looks like a typewriter, to stare at the stars all night long while they listen to soft, slow songs on a pair of shared earphones. For now, Sue watches Emily sleep, head tilted against the glass and decides to hold off on telling her she loves her until the day after her birthday. It’s a perfectly neutral birthday. No use in spoiling it.) 

(Emily says it back though, in case anyone was wondering) 

***** 

Sometimes, when Sue sees Emily cooking for her, she loses her breath. 

(And sometimes, it’s not even due to the smoke from a burned dish) 

But there’s something peaceful about watching Emily cook, especially if she hasn’t yet cottoned onto the fact that Sue’s watching her. She’s one of those annoying people who always has their headphones on, so most of her cooking in the kitchen involves perfectly timing the beats with the swipes of her spatula. Sometimes she spins around in the middle of a pancake flip to see if she can catch it in midair. Juvenile shenanigans aside, what really gets Sue, even after almost a year of having watched Emily dance around in the kitchen is the care with which she handles food that they will eat. It’s so different to the kind of food she cooks when she’s just cooking for herself. Sue’s seen her slap on two days expired cheese on top of a tortilla and call it lunch. And yet. 

And yet. Sue will have the best of things. Lasagna that’s still steaming. A sandwich filled with the most delicious ingredients. Waffles topped with cream that Emily will get up early in the morning to get for her. Food enhanced with care, made better with love. 

Why don’t you make those nice things for yourself, she’s asked on multiple occasions, to which Emily’s always shrugged. It’s just me. I can have almost anything. 

(Emily deserves the best. Sue will make sure she has it) 

There are flowers on the table, an assortment of daffodils and lilies arranged on a vase. Right in between two shiny plates laid out with napkins folded carefully beside them. Sue slides into one of the chairs quietly, rests her elbows on the table and waits for Emily to finally turn around. 

There is a panicked scream when she does. Sue doesn’t want to be that girlfriend, but this is definitely going on the list of stories she’ll tell their future kids when they’ve grown. 

(Another day she would worry about how the term — Their kids — moves around in her chest comfortably like a sip of hot cocoa. Today, exactly one year to the day Emily told her she liked her, she shrugs it off) 

“You weren’t supposed to wake up for another half an hour at least.” 

Sue hums. “You did tire me out last night, that is true.” 

“Sue!” Emily says, scandalized, face rapidly turning red. “I — that’s highly — okay wait, first things first....” 

She walks over to the table, and bends to kiss Sue.  

“Happy anniversary.” 

Sue closes her eyes, kisses both her cheeks in response. “Happy anniversary, my love.” 

Emily grins back, then stands again. “Either way,” she says, as she ladles soup onto a bowl, and gathers multiple plates on a tray to subsequently bring to the table, “brunch! Courtesy of your beautiful girlfriend who finally managed to figure out how to make the perfect chicken pot pie without burning down the house, or worse, giving you salmonella.” 

Sue inspects what lies in front of her. “Babe, this looks amazing.” 

Emily looks proud, as she sits on the other chair. “And that’s not all, okay? This is just the start. Today evening I have gotten us both tickets to—” 

“Move in with me.” 

When Emily blinks, Sue startles. The words that had just come out of her mouth definitely weren’t well-thought-out, but now she was thinking about it and it seemed like all she ever wanted in life. To go to sleep with Emily, and wake her up in time for her morning classes, to be able to see her all the time, and not have to watch her go. 

“That wasn’t my gift, by the way,” she adds, speaking fast, thinking of the limited-edition original copies of a book she’d driven five hours to the next town to get. “But it’s what I want. Us. Living together. I love you. We should.... uh, live together so — uh, okay Emily make me stop talking please.” 

Emily shuts her up with a kiss. When they separate, she stays close to Sue, looking right into her eyes with that soft, soft expression.  

“Are you sure?” she asks. 

Sue takes in a deep breath. Nods. “Yeah.” 

Emily considers that for a moment. Then says with a teasing smile — “I thought this violated your relationship rules.” 

“What ae you—” 

“No kissing before the second date. No celebrating six-month anniversaries because that’s for dummies. No moving in before at least two years of dating—” 

“And if you remember correctly,” Sue cuts in, smoothly, “I kissed you two days before our first date. And serenaded you with a Taylor Swift song at the café on our six-month anniversary.” 

“You did do that,” Emily says, quietly. 

“And as long as we’re on the subject, I hate staying up past 11, or listening to sad girl music in the car, or watching that horrendous show about those two annoying men fake-dating,” Sue tells her, “but — it is my greatest honor that I get to do that for you. And with you. Emily, if you haven’t figured it out already, you’re kinda the exception to every single one of my rules.” 

Sue reads Emily’s answer in the kiss she receives next. 

***** 

The middle, the middle, everything boils down to the middle. It’s what Sue sometimes hears Emily muttering to herself in the middle of the night when she has an assignment due the next day. Sue will blink, look over to the desk where Emily is planted with her nightlight on, hands in her hair. Sometimes Sue will keep blinking slowly, taking in the sight of Emily typing until she falls asleep. Sometimes Emily will notice that she’s up, walk over to the bed, and hum snippets of songs until she’s drifting off again.  

And for all the beauty of the beginning, of first kisses and first dates and first times, there’s something to be said about the fifteenth time Emily plays her something on the ukulele, warning her beforehand that her voice might crack. Or the sixtieth burger she runs across the campus to hand over to Emily when she knows she’s got back-to-back classes scheduled. About the hundredth time she falls into bed, and scooches over, eyes closed, until Emily’s wriggling body is aligned against hers. There’s peace in knowing that a first time will inevitably lead to a second time, and then countless others.  

(There’s peace in knowing the middle lasts the longest)   

***** 

She knows she’s in trouble. Has known she’s in trouble the minute she came out of the store and discovered that there was a pileup on the highway. And then when Lavinia called her panicking because their house-warming slash house party was getting out of control because of a lack of beer and a general overabundance of Austin. And then when her phone died in the middle of her conversation with Emily.  

(So much trouble) 

She’s exhausted by the time she makes it back to her apartment (their apartment , she corrects herself, smiling at the thought) and makes her way up the stairs, hearing the volume of the music increase with every step. Opens the door and is assailed with extremes — the tiny sparkling mirror ball someone’s managed to hook up to the ceiling, the dancing crowd in their living room, and a very loud and weirdly on-point Austin making guitar noises on the karaoke microphone. 

“Lavinia!” Sue calls out in relief, when she catches sight of her. “Where’s Emily?” 

Lavinia excuses herself from a group of frat boys hanging onto her every word and walks over. “Sue! Emily!” 

“Yeah, I know! Tell me where she is!” 

Sue points towards the ceiling, and in the same smooth motion, grabs the crate of beer from her hands. 

Sue’s out of there before the first cry of “Beer” permeates the air. She climbs another two floors, and then the metallic ladder to find Emily sitting there, wrapped in her blanket, glaring up at her. 

“You promised,” she says, flatly. 

Sue drops onto her knees and takes Emily’s cold hands in hers. “I know.” 

“No, you,” Emily repeats, then pauses, looking like she’s struggling, “you promised you were gonna be here, okay? I agreed to the housewarming thing only because you told me there wouldn’t be many people and you’d stay with me the whole time—” 

“—baby....” 

“No, don’t baby me. Let me finish.” Emily waits until Sue nods. “And then you went off to the store.” 

“We ran out of beer,” Sue says, feeling sheepish. 

“I know — I know that, okay?” Emily says. “I know there’s a reason, and probably a valid one but I’m mad, okay? You promised me something and then bailed. That’s not cool.” 

Sue adjusts so she’s properly sitting down right in front of Emily. “I’m sorry,” she says, and means it. “It was inexcusable.” 

Emily sighs, and seems to relax a little. “Okay. Thank you for saying that.” 

Sue nods. “Some party, huh?” she says, after a while. 

Emily smiles a little, then. “Did you see Austin? He was performing the High School Musical songs when I left.” 

She laughs. “When I came in, I think he was doing the guitar riff to Bohemian Rhapsody.” 

“Hey,” Emily says, after they’re done giggling at that. “I never asked. What took you so long? I thought you just went to get beer.” 

“Uh,” Sue says, “I’d rather not tell you.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“Because I don’t wanna charm my way out of you being mad at me.” 

“Oh,” Emily draws the sound out, teasingly. “It can’t possibly be that charming.” 

If she wanted to play it this way, then okay. 

“I stopped at an animal shelter on the way home. There’s a young cat there I thought we could adopt. Consider her a housewarming present.” 

“Oh,” Emily says, then in an undertone. “Damn it.” 

“Charmed?” 

“Ugh, fuck, okay,” Emily admits, then pulls at their joined hands till Sue gets on top of her lap. “I hate you. I love you, but I hate you.” 

Sue kisses her in return, settles in more comfortably. 

“Tell me about her?” Emily asks, softly, in the quiet. 

“Well, she chased the light reflected off my watch round and round so it’s safe to say she’s not the brightest.” 

“I love her already,” Emily assures her. 

***** 

On her eve of her 25th birthday, Sue walks into her apartment and finds Emily, Lavinia and Austin panicking over how to fit the last half of her last name onto limited space on a handmade banner. She says hi to Juggers and Iguana, their two cats, then picks up their two-month-old puppy Rooney, all before one of the three already present humans in the room realizes she’s there. 

“Sue, I’m so sorry,” Emily says, walking over to her and looking at her with a slightly desperate look in her eyes. “We tried baking cake, but it’s half burnt, but we can’t decide what to get and all we have are balloons but then Austin’s going crazy trying to keep Juggers from bursting them, because guess what? The cat is the devil—” 

“—babe—” 

“—no, I tried to make it a good birthday, I really did!” 

She puts her hands on either side of Emily’s face, which forces her to quiet down. Then she looks over at the others.  

“Have you guys been here the entire time I was taking classes?” 

They nod. 

She feels a little overwhelmed. “Guys, I — thank you so much,” she says, then takes stock of the situation. “Can you order pizza? We’ll ring in my birthday with pizza tonight.” 

Lavinia side-hugs her on their way out to the couch, and then they’re alone in the kitchen. She kisses Emily on the forehead, then on both cheeks, trying to drive away the frown. 

“What?” 

“I just wanted you to have a good birthday,” Emily says, despondent. 

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Sue says. “And so are our friends, who sat and worked this hard for hours trying to make me happy. And we’ll have pizza! We like pizza.” 

“You’re just saying that.” 

“No, you idiot” Sue explains, fondly. “I mean it. We’ll have burned cake, and we’ll fight over the pizza, and even if the animals are outnumbered, we’ll probably lose to them. And then we’ll probably watch a movie, and somehow all fall asleep on the carpet because Austin always claims the whole couch. Either way, it’ll be a good birthday, because I’m happy. And you know why I’m happy?” 

Emily’s still pouting. 

“Emily, why am I happy?” 

“Because we’re together,” Emily completes, in a small voice, and then finally, finally smiles. 

(It’s the messiest birthday Sue has ever had. Also the best) 

***** 

Here’s the thing about endings: everyone who writes stories knows they don’t really exist.  

A famous author once said that they weren’t really the end of the story, just where you chose to stop it. Well, Sue agrees. Which is why this story in her head never ends. The imaginary typewriter in her head will keep typing long after, filling pages with anniversaries and birthdays and emergency dog adoptions. Maybe the next page talks about the day Sue breaks her arm, and Emily proposes to her with an onion ring she gets out of the hospital vending machine. Or the day Lavinia loses Rooney, walks around the entire block with Austin to find him and finally discovers he’s hanging out at the old café they used to work at. 

So. Yes. This is where she decides to leave it. Finish it. There will be more stories to write later.

The end. 

(Wink wink. Nudge nudge.) 

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

It's the ✨annoying little shit✨ again

The Gremlin anon😺

So, when Miss oh honey barged in my house (she has the spare keys in emergency case, that's how she got in) I told her what happend and OH MY GOD that woman screeched SO FUCKING LOUD I GOT DEAF (and fun fact, I have a really good hearing but... Well... not anymore after this)

After my hearing got back and she apologized for my poor hears, it hit me that she was here to be my wingwoman and I think that at this point everybody already realized that she isn't the most subtle of people

So I needed to talk with her about what she's going to do or say cause if she goes bold move I will kill her and then myself

So, I told her "What are you going to do to progress your ship?"

"Isn't it obvious darlin?"

"no, it fucking isn't"

"Sigh... I'm gonna ask roommates name why are they so nice to you"

"NO! DON'T DO THAT!"

"Why? You were going to do that yesterday but since you can't I will do it for ya"

"You can't do that"

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious darlin?" (I was mimicking her voice when I said that)

She looked at me with a very annoyed face (it was priceless XD) but then I explained to her that tecnically she doesn't know about the fact that my roommate is nice to me so she needed to be subtle about it, she agreed to it, fortunatly

By that time my roommate had already arrived home but since they went to the kitchen right after they got home we didn't notice, but they also didn't hear or conversation cause the kitchen has thick walls (I never felt so fortunate for my thick kitchen walls ;w;)

So, as we all were having a snack, Miss oh honey just remembers that she's a wingwoman to her ship and says "You seem to be getting pretty close huh?"

I ALMOST SCOFFED MY COOKIE OUT OF MY THROAT

DOES SHE WANT MY DEATH!!??

Oh but my roommate does worse by saying "Yeah, kinda close I guess. It's not like I can help it tho. And you have no excuse either. I saw you two chatting when I got here, and you seem close"

Miss oh honey just giggles and anwsers something that I don't remember what it was cause I was too busy PANICKING

But then I hear her asking "Anyway, what did you mean about not being able to help it get close to Gremlin anon" and they, again, do worse by saing "Look at her and tell me that she's not adorable, I dare you bitch"

I genuinely almost started hiperventelating

SINCE WHEN AM I ADORABLE!?!? AND HOW ON HELL IS MY ROOMMATE SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS!!?? HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!?

As they go on bitching with each other (like usual) I'm over there dying, but this time I got brave enough to ask my roommate "You think I am adorable?" and before my roommate anwsered I noticed Miss oh honey grin, and I could tell she was enjoying every second of this, but my roommate, as fucking casual as they are about this anwsers "Of course, why wouldn't I?" and just, froze

I stared at them for at least 5mim before Miss oh honey saves me and changes the topic

As they keep bitching with each other again I stayed quiet and didn't dare to move an inch cause my roommate was sitting right beside me and touching them means atention and atention means gay panic

This went on for a little while until Miss oh honey goes to the bathroom

As she walks out of the living room, my roommate turns to me and genuanly asks "Are you ok? You seem very unconfortable"

I just... I don't want to LIE and say that I'm not unconfortable BECAUSE I defenetly AM bit either way I can't fucking anwser cause I'M PURE GAY PANIC at this point

But OF FUCKING COURSE my roommate needs to do worse and do a sad kitty expression and say "I'm sorry if I made you unconfortable" and I cannot not anwser that sad kitty face, IT'S ILLEGAL NOT ANWSERING THAT FACE!!!

So I did "Don't be sorry I- I'm just not used to be c-called adorable, t-that's all really" and they calmly anwser "How is that possible? You're so fluffy and cute I could hug you all day! How are you not used to hearing that? People are so fucking blind these days"

I just-

CAN YOU STOP MAKING ME GAYER!?

PLS!!??

BUT OOOOH NO NONONONO

MISSES ROOMMATE NEEDS TO DO WORSE BY SAYING

"Can I do something? I promise it is nothing bad"

I nood in aproval and they lean in and kiss my forehead AND I donno why but I asked this before I could stop myself "Where you checking my temperature again?"

WHY DIDN'T I JUST STAY FUCKING QUIET!!?? WHY ME!!?? WHYYYY!!???

And that dum dum obviously needs to make me furriously blush by saying

"No. This time I did mean it to be a kiss"

And before I could process all this we hear Miss oh honey LOUDLY CRACKING LAUGHING and saying "roommates name you're blushiiinngg! How cuuutteee" and after that they proceeded to argue about my roommates blush that I didn't notice in the first place and now I'm thinking...

HAVE THEY BEEN BLUSHING ALL THIS TIME!!?? GOD SEND HELP!!! I'M TOO MUCH OF AN IDIOT TO KNOW!!!!

And now, after all this, we noticed that is already dinner time, and since it's late my roommate offered Miss oh honey to stay for the night and she very happly agreed (I never saw someone grin so widely in my life)

Now, my roommate is doing dinner and Miss oh honey and I are setting the table and prepering her a matress on my roommates room

So yeah, pls send help... I'M PANICKING AND MISS OH HONEY IS NOT HELPING WITH HER GIGGLES AT MY REACTIONS!!!

Help ;-;/

Have a great day/afternoon/evening/night :3

I will update you after dinner with what will happend cause I can feel it in my bonnes that today is gonna be the death of me ;-;

- scared Gremlin anon

Holy shit. Miss “oh honey” is very proactive in her ship, eh?

As for your roommate... the fact that they’re so casual about it all, even with their “sad kitty face”, is phenomenal. Like... we all wish we were that smooth 😂

But you’ve got this, Gremlin anon! We believe in your capability to make it through dinner with roommate and miss “oh honey”!

[sanktasansa]

So I finished Shadow & Bone (the TV series) and as a non-book reader, I liked it! The production value was *chef's kiss* and I really liked all of the characters and the acting. The characters were well defined and even the roles that could have annoyed me, weren't annoying because the actors brought just the right energy to bring them to life. However...I don't think I'll watch much of S2 besides whatever scenes the Darkling is in because the stakes of the plot conflict are just so... ill denfined.

Ravka and Fyerda (and Shu Han?) are at war for...reasons. It's never explained or I blinked and missed it. Is it just a land grab on all sides? Are they bored?? Bueller???

Also there is a civil war brewing...and we have no reason to care if Ravka does or doesn't stay together. The leaders on either side are rapey/ambush-y dicks; I am ambivalent.

So then you got The Darkling--who is a BAD MAN-- but he seems to be the only character interested in progressing the plot?? Because no one else has any plans to do something to major with the war?? Of course, his big idea is morally, ethically Bad because he's the Magneto, fighting for his people but in a genocidal way we don't approve of in this house! On the other hand, as a POC, I get the anxiety of "any second now the majority can turn on me/us when not outright persecuting us stops being useful to them", and that's without me personally witnessing the hundreds of years worth of atrocities done to my people. So yeah, Bad Manipulative Dude, no question, but The Darkling's motivation is clearly defined and he's brings the Epic Dramatics so no wonder he's the most popular character for the local bitches (I am local bitches). I'm just more curious to see what he does next then anyone else because I know what he wants and why it's so important to him. Also Bin Bons crushed it per usual.

I guess the Crows + Nina will be Oceans Eleven-ing and shit which will probably be fun but completely divorced from the A plot. They gave no hook for the Alina and Mal continuing story (to my show-only eyes, anyway) other than Alina wanting to eventual destroy the Fold, but it seems like she only wants to do so b/c she is hero now and that's hero shit. But honestly, I just want her to be as assertive as she was in E5. I kind of wish we had an extra episode of her training and gal paling around the Little Palace with Genya and her other girlfriends. She was so happy!

And you know, I mostly really liked Alina (Jessie is lovely) and I'm all on board with her being livid at The Darkling for his manipulations, but when she was like "You created the Fold! You killed my friends!", was I the only one like:

No, sis; it was YOUR codependent ass got your crew ganked in the Gash because you couldn't deal with your separation anxiety! And I'm not taking any "She couldn't have known!" because she destroyed maps of a sizable place; of course they weren't gonna take just one cartographer when they got a whole team that could split the work! She had to know she gonna be signing up at least one other person for danger. I know that it's different in the book; ostensibly this change gives her more agency, but when you give a character extra agency just to do dumb shit that gets people killed--and then it's never use for character or plot development-- what have you really achieved?

Shipwise, I feel perturbed that by the end of 8 episodes we already know that 90% of the ships are all A) requited, B) genuine, and C) the only thing keeping the two parties apart is personal baggage to could be worked on through consistent communication (granted, Nina and Matthias have a more complex situation but at the base is trust issues). All that is left is the actual getting together which is like, the least interesting part because we already can tell they all will be functional-ish couples. Idk it just feels like Netflix really shot their wad there.

And then...there's dysfunctional Darklina. Listen, no argument that it's toxic, but at least what pulls them together and what keeps them apart are connected both with specific character psychology AND Themes (i.e. ideology clashes, yin yang, magic soul connection, lonely gods, etc. etc.). That's that good angsty depressing Russian shit with a little German Strum und Drang b/c Alesi be spilling his emotions all over the place like mom's spaghetti! And whatever happens with them could actually effect the Big Picture (the saints have granted The Darkling a soulmate and he's making it everyone's problem), so high stakes. Also, listen man: they got nice horny chemistry 🤷🏽‍♀️. Don't @ me about how it's toxic; of course it is toxic, everyone is clear on this, including (and most importantly) the narrative, but in the absence of complex plot, imo (IMO!) it's the part of the story that is most dynamic; dynamics are entertaining, yo. It's gonna end badly (probably?) and I'm ready for the catharsis!

As for S2: I know there is a Lovable Rouge waiting in the wings, so perhaps that casting will intice me to watch the whole season. Regardless of my viewership, I really hope they get renewed ; this cast deserves to be employed and wearing beautiful keftas for years!

[archived-zombbean]

How I Got Into Batman

So I got into Batman on accident. See my wife (then girlfriend) @she-a-nice had been BEGGING me to watch the show, play the game, etc. and I refused for the longest time (my loss I know right?).

Anyhow, we’re in game stop and she pulls out the “Batman Arkham Asylum” game, and she’s like, “Look! It’s on sale for $XX! If worse comes to worse it’s not like you’ll be wasting money! Just give it a try and if you don’t like it I’ll stop bothering you about it!”

So I caved. I bought the game, let out the most annoyed sigh (I was easily upset before I started my Bipolar meds, I regret how immature I used to be) and we went home. I pop the game in, let it download, and drank some tea while I waited. After it finished downloading, my adventure began.

Opening up to the Asylum, right away I’ll be honest- I hated batman. The only version I ever knew of him was BTAS and this version didn’t sit right with me. He was so mean and cruel that it just made me really upset. The joker reminded me of the one I did know a little bit about, so that wasn’t so bad (learned later it was the same actor so whoot!)

Saw sexy Harley Quinn, but hated her outfit so much. GOD I HATED THAT OUTFIT. WHAT WAS THE POINT? SHE DIDN’T LOOK LIKE A HARLEQUIN AT ALL???

Again, I went into this game with a sour attitude and I tried to hide it. My wife is sitting on the edge of her seat watching me play cause she was so excited to see the game. She had stars in her eyes. She didn’t play video games. She was afraid too and would much rather watch me play them instead. So I bit my lip and kept playing. Seeing her happy and enjoying the game meant more to me than all the things that was annoying me about the game. Admittedly... the combat was pretty good for it’s time, and after playing the absolute disaster combat of Assassin’s Creed 1, it was a nice change of pace.

I do remember being quite fond of Killer Croc’s design, and hoping I would see him again. I’ll get into that bit, a little later.

So I’m playing the game, and I get to the part where you just get to/ past the medical facility? It’s been a long time since I played so I can’t remember exactly where... but... that’s when my opinion of the game started to change. I’m in an elevator and I come out to see people going fucking batshit crazy in a sealed off room, and this gremlin of a bastard scurry in the background. I have no idea that this guy is about to become my favorite character.

My wife, knowing my favorite character archetype, just fucking grins as wide as she can. I love horror. Anything horror related, video games, movies, etc... it’s always been my favorite!

Mind you, I have no idea whom this character is or what he does, but the music turns unsettling and I can feel my pulse quicken. It has all the atmosphere of a horror game. Batman’s eyes are glowing red, and the beat of the music is still heavy in my ears. The voices are starting to echo, and there’s a buncha really silent hill like bullshit happening.

I go through the morgue scene and I’m just fucking... floored? When the fuck did this game decide to be a horror game??? Like?? I started to LOVE it.

My wife is now in a fit of giggles, and I’m like, “Why are you laughing you hate horror?”

She just grins, “Oh... you’ll see! I just know you’re gonna love it!”

Okay... sure. So I keep going.

Cue Batman unzipping the bag and this guy with a bag on his head that reminds me of el salvadore from fucking resident evil 4 pops up, and he’s just cackling like a motherfucking maniac. His voice is AMAZING. The ambiance is frightening. He’s got fucking NEEDLES on his hands (Trypanophobia? Yeah I know her. That’s my fear.)

“Who is this dude?” I ask my wife.

As the sequence ends for the nightmare world I see the words pop up on my screen:

Character Bio Unlocked- Scarecrow

“Who the fuck is scarecrow?” I’m lost. That was literally my favorite sequence so far.

My wife looks like the cat that caught the fucking canary, “That’s Jonathan Crane~ He’s the scarecrow and he’s the master of fear!”

Okay. So she’s fucking right. I fucking love this character. I keep playing. Dude’s gotta show up again right? I never actually kicked his ass...

So I keep playing the game and I see a few other small things that start to pique my interest. It’s not longer a chore trying to play the game. I’m genuinely interested. I’m waiting for this asshole with a paper bag on his head to pop up again.

Que me getting to the next portion of the game where this SOAB shows up. I’m literally grinning from ear to ear. Is the scene beforehand sad? Yeah a little. But I’ve heard the same damn sob story for batman by fans so much that honestly... I... kinda don’t care? It’s hard to feel bad when every movie with batman includes his parents dying.

I get through that portion and I eventually wind up at the third portion. I swear to fucking god I was SO SCARED when I thought my game restarted and I lost all my progress. Turns out it was another fucking game sequence. Touche Mr. Scarecrow, touche.... Long story short I got through that sequence and I’m floored by how good the game actually is. God my wife is so happy. It makes the experience all the better.

Did I mention she’s a hard core Riddler fan? Did I also forget to mention she’s the one that found all the- and I quote, “Shineys (Riddler Trophies)” and solved all his riddles? Cause I sure as fuck didn’t know the answers. Dude got super pissed every time she found something, and it was HILARIOUS.

I got to Croc’s section of the game, and I’ll admit I was a bit off put and sad to see him take Crane into the water and out of view. Knowing he’s a cannibal, I thought for sure that would be the last I ever saw of my fave (Imagine how excited I was for Arkham Knight, and how disappointed I was in the end? LE SIGH.) To be fair tho, Croc’s portion of the game had me sitting on the edge of my seat a lot since it was dead silent, and followed up with an orchestra of music when he popped up.

By the end of the whole game I was relatively happy. The story was pretty shitty, won’t lie, but the characters were enjoyable, the play style was fun, and I got to learn a lot about some characters! I even surprised my wife by saying I wanted to buy the next game in the series!

Lucky for me? That game had just come out a week prior. So of course I bought that bitch and binge played it for my sweet, and wonderful wife. Of course I also fell in love with another character- Mr. Freeze, and of course I still thank her for getting me into the series.

Sometimes she’ll tease me and talk about how I was so reluctant to try something new that she’d known I would enjoy, and ever since I’ve made sure to give series she’s suggested a chance!

[princekirijo]

BRO, YUKARI. 👀👀

OK HERE WE GO STRAP IN FOLKS IT'S YUKARI TIME! Also a lot of this is kinda salty? I guess? So just a fair warning I just have strong opinions on Yukari 😔

Ok so Yukari. I love her so so much she's one of my favorite characters in the series and one of my trio of comfort characters (the other two being Akihiko and Mitsuru). She's such an interesting and complex character that gets heavily misinterpreted by a lot of the fandom (*cough* cishet men *cough*).

Like ok first off people say that she's mean but while she can be very rude and one of her big flaws is that she doesn't consider others' feelings she's not entirely a bitch either? I think the best example of this that not many people I've seen talk about is how she's the only character who objects to the protagonist and Fuuka joining immediately and wants to make sure they're not being forced into joining. While ultimately both of those characters join of their own accord, Yukari asks them multiple times if they're ok with joining, something the others never do (Mitsuru is guilty of being quite insistent on them joining but that's a discussion for another time). She also feels incredibly guilty for spying on the protagonist at the start, pointing out multiple times that it is a violation of their privacy. Both of these show that she genuinely cares about other people. Pictures are from you lol <3

On that subject when Ken joins Yukari is actually the nicest to him out of all of them, often making sure that he feels welcome and making an effort to talk to him. I think the only other character that does that (if my memory serves me right) is Fuuka. In her social link too she helps out that little kid that was crying in the middle of Paulownia Mall, staying with them until she found their parents or that they were safe. And even in Ultimax her relationship with Ken is just so cute she's so nice to him, she really is like his big sister. So to say that she's just mean and just a bitch is wrong because there's plenty of examples of her being a very nice person.

And actually a lot of people hate her because of how 'easy' her social link is to reverse (I've seen people on YouTube mention this a few times so I thought I'd talk about it). I think it's either rank 5 or 6 there's a scene where Yukari loses her purse and goes back to get it. You find her surrounded by a bunch of guys who are threatening her and are very close to hurting her. The protagonist steps in to stop them and then chases them off. Now I think it's only in the male route this happens (again my memory is bad so sorry about that 😞) but she gets annoyed at you for helping her and then you're given a few options. The correct one is to leave her alone (or something like that) but the one that most people go for which reverses the Social Link is the option to hug her. And people (male youtubers *AHEM*) get annoyed about this because oh yeah of course in this scenario hugging Yukari is a great option and why the hell would she get angry and reject them like that. Like jeez I don't know definitely not the fact that she's very clearly shaken up by the fact that she was almost attacked by three men (who could have done god knows what to her if we hadn't intervened). And definitely not because she's said lots of times that she doesn't like to rely on anyone (particular men) given the whole situation with her mother. The other thing is that I don't think it's outright stated but I really wouldn't be surprised if Yukari was super touch averse given the situation with her mother throwing herself at random men all the time. And (as we discovered lol) there's a very high possibility that her mother was an alcoholic because of this she says in the answer after Junpei's past where he talks about his alcoholic dad:

So like if her mother was an alcoholic there is a high chance she could have suffered some form of abuse which would lead her to being very anti touch. So it really drives me mad when people get annoyed about her Social Link being so easy to break because if you think for a second before doing anything, you'll realize it makes sense that she wouldn't want to be hugged.

But that's enough salt, I love Yukari for a lot of different reasons but the main one is (predictably given that it's me) her relationship with Mitsuru. Regardless of how you want to view it, they are so important and integral to each other's character development. From the tension between them at the start of the game to the end where they're so close, it's honestly one of the best relationships in the game in my opinion. You can really see how much they grow to care for each other. Yukari is the only character brave enough to call Mitsuru out for her bullshit and you can see how Mitsuru grows to appreciate that (because as much as I love Mitsuru, Yukari is absolutely valid to call her out for some of the stuff she does and she needs Yukari to do that). Yukari also ends up being the catalyst to Mitsuru's ultimate persona awakening. At the start of the game too, we're made to believe that both of them are very different. But as the game progresses we're shown that they're actually quite similar. Something I love that the movie does is this scene here (again thank you for pointing this out to me):

The way Yukari finishes Mitsuru's sentence so to speak shows that they actually have pretty similar reasons to awakening to their powers (Mitsuru in order to protect her father and Yukari to protect her father's memory and find out the truth about what happened to him). Yukari also helps Mitsuru open up to others (she's the only other person aside from Akihiko that Mitsuru calls by their first name) and Mitsuru helps Yukari (in a way I can't explain because my brain is failing me) to not judge people as much. They're so important to each other and their character development is so interlinked I just love it so much and it's a big reason as to why I love both of them.

And my other reason as to why I love Yukari is that she's allowed to express her anger in a way that isn't fake or cute (I honestly can't think of another female character who is allowed to do this but I'm sure there's other examples). The best example of this is of course the Answer which I've spoken about before so I'll do my best to keep it brief. I think Yukari's anger in the Answer is a very real response to grief. She's upset over the loss of the protagonist (whom she's heavily implied to have feelings for but I don't think it's outright stated) and she's jealous of Aigis because she inherited his power. She wants to save him so badly because she really cared for him so now that she has a chance and the others are stopping her (in her eyes) she feels betrayed so of course she's going to lash out. Now I fully acknowledge that what she was doing was wrong and she is acting very rude but as I said it's her way of dealing with grief. Something P3 does very well is show how different characters react to grief (eg Mitsuru closing off even more from the others, Akihiko deciding to take it in his stride, Ken having a similar reaction etc). And Yukari's way is no expectation and it's not bad because there's no bad or wrong way to deal with grief. Something people forget as well is that she acknowledges and apologies to the group after the Erebus fight for her behavior and she explains herself (another example of how she is actually a nice person and not a total bitch). I just really related to how she dealt with the whole thing and I love her for that. I also think that some of the other characters in the series (Ann mainly) should have been allowed to express their anger in a more... Real way? Ugly way? I'm not sure how to describe it but I would have liked to see them get angry in a way that wasn't cute (somebody pointed out that the negative reaction to Yukari's anger is probably what stopped future female characters from doing just this and it was an excellent point).

OK so this was super rambling and if you got to the end then wow thank you. I just really love Yukari and it makes me upset how a lot of fans treat her, either as a typical oh this is my persona waifu uwu or she's such a bitch I hate her with no thought process. I honestly understand why some people don't like her but I just ask that people think about how she reacts to certain things and why she acts the way she does before just essentially watering her down to a bitch with daddy issues. She's my emotional support bisexual and I adore how she interacts with the other cast (especially Mitsuru).

[creepercraftguy]

I decided I wanted to try one of those DR Ask meme’s, but I decided to do it a little differently and I’m just gonna answer all the questions.

This one is made by @muzumi-san but I didn’t repost theirs because I don’t want them to directly see my shitty opinions.

1. Favourite game?

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair. It just had the best characters, best plot twists and best trials in my opinion.

2. Favourite Protagonist?

It depends. If it’s in terms of writing, Shuichi. Otherwise, it’s either Hajime, or Kaede.

3. Favourite antagonistic character?

Kokichi is my favorite in general of the three, but as an antagonist, I like Nagito more.

4. Favourite character?

Kokichi Ouma. I know, he’s a fan favorite and you’re probably sick of hearing him get talked about, but dude, he’s just great.

5. Best girl?

Mahiru Koizumi.

6. Best boy?

Gonta Gokuhara or Gundham Tanaka.

7. Favourite class trial from all the games?

For Game 1, it’s Case 2. I love the twists and use of the Red Herring aspect in regards to the locker room. For Game 2, Case 4 is my favourite, but Case 5 is the better one in terms of mystery. For Game 3, Case 4. The fact you have to rely on video game logic to solve the case is really neat.

8. Least favourite character?

Without a doubt, Yasuhiro Hagakure, for several reasons that I’ve stated previously.

9. Least favourite class trial?

Game 3, Case 3. That whole case was just bullshit after Bullshit.

10. What would be your Ultimate Title?

Ultimate Animator, like Mitarai, but you know...Better.

11. Favourite cast?

As I’ve already mentioned, Danganronpa 2. My least favorite member of that cast is Akane, but even her, and the more disliked characters like Teruteru and Hiyoko, I love all of them. They’re all great.

12. Favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

Seiko Kimura. She’s such a fun character who I think deserved better.

13. What’s your opinion on the Danganronpa 3 anime?

I fucking hate it. The only episodes of it that I actually consider to be good, are the first two episodes of Despair Arc, and the final episode. The characters and cast genuinely piss me off half the time, especially Juzo, Munakata and Ruruka, and the writing was just generally shit throughout the entire thing.

14. What do you think about Danganonpa 1 anime?

I actually think it’s alright. Video Game anime’s tend to not be as good as the games (unless it’s Persona 4′s animation, which was actually awesome) and the same goes for Danganronpa. The game is generally more enjoyable than the anime, but the anime wasn’t bad all things considered.

15. Your absolute OTP?

SAI-MAT-SU! SAI-MAT-SU! SHIP-THAT-GETS-SHIT-ON-TOO-MUCH! SAI-MAT-SU! SAI-MAT-SU!

16. Your absolute BROTP?

I guess Sakuraoi? I get why people ship them, but Sakura is one of the characters who canonically has a boyfriend, and I just think they make really good friends other than girlfriends. No disrespect for anyone who likes them together though.

17. Do you have an OT3? Which one?

I’m not crazy about my OT3′s, since they’re mostly two characters who are romantically involved, with a third wheel/wingman on the side, but yes, I do have at least one for each game. For the first game, it’s Chishimondo (Taka, Mondo and Chihiro) for the second game it’s Sonsoudam (Sonia, Gundham and Kazuichi) and the third game, it’s Tenhimiangie (Tenko, Himiko and Angie)

18. Favourite rare ship?

There’s a ship I like called Nagiseiko or Komamura, which is Nagito Komaeda x Seiko Kimura.

19. Who do you think is an underrated character?

There are quite a few, like Nekomaru and Mahiru for instance, but I absolutely have to say Mondo. He has arguably some of the best characterization among the DR1 cast, and he’s my favorite killer in the first game purely because of his backstory and motive, and how he reflects upon the second case’s whole theme, and yet nobody seemed to focus on that importance. God Speed, you wonderful JoJo reference.

20. Who do you think is an overrated character?

Please don’t hurt me when I say this, but absolutely Chiaki. Many can chew me out for liking Kokichi, who in himself is overrated, but for a deuteragonist, Chiaki really doesn’t do an awful lot until Chapter 4-5

21. Favourite voice actor?

In terms of performance, either Derek Stephen Prince (Fuyuhiko and Kokichi) or Marieve Herington (Celeste)

22. Favourite talent?

Ultimate Detective. Shuichi and Kyoko are both really cool.

23. Favourite mascot?

Monokuma, duh! Compared to Monomi and the Monokubs, neither of them have shit on him.

24. Favourite Monokub?

1000% Monodam. All of them suck, except for him. (And Monotaro’s fine for the most part, but Monodam will always be the best)

25. Least favourite mascot?

Mono-fucking-phanie.

26. Favourite execution?

Leon Kuwata’s, the 1000 Blows. As they say, you never forget your first.

27. Least favourite execution?

Mikan Tsumiki’s, Bye Bye Ouchies. For reasons I don’t think I even need to state.

28. Favourite unused execution?

I really like Kazuichi’s unused execution that involves the drill.

29. Which character should survived in your opinion?

If we’re talking characters I wanted to survive, then I would’ve loved to see Chihiro make it to the end of DR1. As much as I love the importance of his passing, I really wanted him to get out alive and unscathed.

30. Which character would’ve deserved to survive?

In each game, there’s at least one character I think should’ve deserved to make it out alive. For the first game, it’s absolutely Taka, for the second, Hiyoko, even though I’m not strong on her, and for the third game, Ryoma, for the same reason everyone else thinks he should’ve lived.

31. Is there a character you think who shouldn’t have survived but did?

Yasuhiro did basically nothing to contribute to the class trials, or the overall progress in figuring out the mysteries of the academy. He never pulled his weight, and for some reason, he still managed to live through the killing game.

32. Least favourite protagonist?

I love her, but Komaru. She just doesn’t reach the same level as the others.

33. Character with the best clothing?

Celeste absolutely nails the gothic lolita style and it fits really well with the type of character that she is.

34. Best character design?

Gundham and Celeste.

35. A character who should’ve got more character development?

Kirumi, without question. She’s arguably my least favorite in the V3 gang purely because of her lack of development. She deserved better writing than what she got.

36. Character who looks amazing but you don’t like?

I love Ruruka’s design, but I hate Ruruka’s character. The same goes for Sonosuke Izayoi, who looks badass but got no development.

37. Favourite minor character?

For the little screen time he got, I vibe with Taichi Fujisaki.

38. Favourite eyes?

What? Uh...no preference?

39. Smartest murder plan?

Gundham’s plan in the 4th case of the 2nd game. He used pretty much every aspect of the funhouse to pull his plan off, and I love it.

40. Favourite culprit?

Gundham Tanaka, for what I’ve just mentioned, plus his motivation, and overall character.

41. Person you’ve never expected to become a culprit but they became? (Doesn’t include Chiaki)

I guess Mondo, Peko and Kiyo from each of the games. They all exude the energy that they COULD kill someone, but the chances of them actually doing it don’t seem that high, and yet...

42. Honest opinion on Tsumugi Shirogane?

I thought she was boring character at first, even after she was revealed to be the mastermind, but I’ve come around since then and I respect her as a villain a lot more. Being the only villain in the game who’s not directly tied to Junko, that at least gives her a bit of uniqueness.

43. Describe Monaca Towa in 3 words!

Piss Baby UGH!

44. Describe Nagito Komaeda in 3 words!

Extremely Entertaining Character

45. Unpopular opinion?

I think Hifumi Yamada is a pretty decent character overall. His Free Time Events, while awkward, were quite enjoyable, and he conveys the strong message that appearances aren’t everything. He’s aware of how different he looks compared to everyone else, but to him, it’s what’s on the inside and what he can do that matters.

46. Unpopular headcanon?

I don’t really have many major headcanons, and I have none that I would consider unpopular. I guess I’ll say “The V3 cast have a group chat in a Non-Despair AU that they meme the shit out of.”

47. A headcanon you have about a character?

In the ask blog that I run, Mikan and Ibuki are an item, and after they become one, Mikan discards her bandages and dyes a highlight in her hair. I live for that, so I guess that’s my answer.

48. Favourite OST?

If we’re talking about a game soundtrack, then either Danganronpa 2′s, or Ultra Despair Girl. If we’re talking about my favourite song in the whole series though, then my favourite is the opening theme to Future Arc in DR3, Dead or Lie.

49. Favourite mini game?

I don’t really have one. I have minigames that I like, and Minigames that I hate (looking at you “Improved” Hangman’s Gambit) But I guess I like Scrum Debate in concept a lot.

50. Favourite game design?

V3 is the most aesthetically pleasing DR game.

51. Character you thought you were gonna dislike but loved in the end?

Maki was such a piece of shit in my opinion at the beginning of V3. Of course, the development she gets reprimands that amazingly. I WOULD say Tenko, but I hated Tenko when I finished V3, and it was only after a short time later that I really turned around on her.

52. Character you thought you would like but disliked in the end?

I guess Angie? She was pretty annoying even before I outright disliked her, but then the whole third chapter brainwashing thing happened and I’m like, “this bitch suck for real!”

53. Favourite game end?

Danganronpa 2′s, and I don’t wanna hear all the “Ugh, the anime bullshit, ugh!” From a writing perspective, the second game just had the most enjoyable ending.

54. Least favourite game end?

I guess Danganronpa 1′s but even that wasn’t too bad. I have incredibly mixed feelings about V3′s twist ending, but I’ve grown to accept that it happened and there’s not a lot I can do about it...

55. Favourite love hotel scene?

Kaede’s. J-Just Kaede’s...That scene gives me the right amount of serotonin that I can keep going with my day.

56. Best free time events?

Hard to say, but I really liked Taka’s. Most of the FTE’s in Danganronpa tend to be pretty nice (unless you’re Hiro), but for him, I loved learning about the circumstances behind his family, how it corrolates with why he acts the way he does, his spite against people who call themselves “geniuses” and why they suck, and everything about his character just hits right.

57. Character who should’ve lived longer?

Kirumi or Ryoma.

58. V3 Pregame! headcanon?

“They aren’t evil creatures with a pessimistic look on life!” Seriously, why the hell do people headcanon the pre-game V3 cast as evil and masochistic bastards. Sure, their look on life was very cynical and pessimistic, and some of them wanted to join V3 for the money or the fame, but that’s just basic human nature and desire. That doesn’t mean everyone in V3 was an inherently bad person before they joined Danganronpa. They aren’t the remnants of despair for fucks sake.

59. Favourite moment?

Shuichi’s final stand in V3 really showed his growth in character, and his refutation “WE’RE GONNA END DANGANRONPA!” gave me goosebumps.

60. Saddest moment?

Gundham’s Execution made me cry, and I almost shed tears in Peko’s final moments. My answer therefore, is those two.

61. Character who looks like the love child of ???

Shuichi has always looked like the love child of Makoto and Kyoko or Makoto and Mukuro. I don’t have any parental headcanons though, and prefer to think of Shuichi as his own character.

62. Describe Mikan Tsumiki in 3 words!

Needs Love Mending! She’s an emotionally broken girl who needs love to heal her fragile heart.

63. Describe Kyoko Kirigiri in 3 words!

The Best Deuteragonist. By that, I mean out of all the characters who are most relevant to the plot alongside the protagonist and antagonist (which includes Chiaki and I guess Kaito too) Kyoko is the best one in my opinion.

64. Which character seemed like they were gonna be a culprit but they wasn’t?

I honestly expected Sonia to kill someone several times in DR2, but she ended up making it to the end. I’m not disappointed though, and I’m glad she never ended up snapping.

65. Who did you never expected to die but they died?

Kaede, no doubt about it. C’mon, she was set up to be the protagonist and then she got executed falsely. Rantaro also surprised me honestly, as did Fake Togami in Game 2.

66. Describe the last trial from V3 in 3 words!

An Absolute Clusterfuck. Not the bad kind, mind you, but Jesus, that trial was long and confusing.

67. Which character would you never want to meet in real life?

There are several honestly, but I’m gonna narrow it down and say Junko. Anyone who meets her is doomed to have their life ruined.

68. Which character would you like to meet in real life?

I relate to most of the weeb and dorky characters, so I guess either Hifumi or Non-Evil Tsumugi.

69. Choose one character which you would take with you on a trip.

Mikan would be handy to have around in case I get injured while on a hike or something.

70. Character you would have a sleepover with?

I don’t feel any sort of attraction to her romantically, and I tend not to for fictional characters, but Kaede is someone I’d really want to hang out and be friends with.

71. Character you can relate to?

Makoto, and I know that’s the whole point of his character, but even though he’s kind of basic and lacking in any significant personality, I still like him a lot.

72. Character you can relate to but you dislike them?

I sympathize with Kiyo’s plight, and how he suffered a lot of emotional abuse from his sister, but with his final moments and how much bullshit came from it (particularly the implied incest subplot) I just couldn’t feel anything except eagerness when I watched him die.

73. Character who deserved better?

Than what they got, I guess Taka.

74. What do you think of Hiyoko Saionji?

If she had survived the game, she’d have been recognized as great a character as Fuyuhiko, since she would have had time to develop. Unfortunately, her lack of growth thanks to her death relegates her into just being “that bitch from Danganronpa” In general though, I don’t dislike her at all, I’m just not as strong on her as I am the rest of DR2′s cast, or DR’s cast in general.

75. Describe Gonta Gokuhara in 3 words!

The Best Boy.

76. Favourite research lab?

The research labs are a cool concept that I really wanted to see more of in things like Fangans. I think my favorite is either Shuichi’s or Kokichi’s.

77. What do you think of the fandom?

Honest to god, I feel more comfortable in the DR Fandom than I do any other Fandom I’m a part of. We have cringe, toxicity and the same old jokes, yes, but other Fandom’s I’m in, like Persona and My Hero Academia, have the same on a whole other level. I think the majority of the Danganronpa Fandom truly does genuinely care about the game series and I appreciate that.

78. Favourite random/unnecessary scene?

The Man’s Nut scene in Danganronpa 2 was god damn hilarious. I never ever really thought the Peeping Tom scenes in each game were wholly necessary and just existed as cheap fanservice, but the Man’s Nut scene is SO damn funny!

79. Which character has the cutest design?

Chihiro is the most adorable bean in the universe.

80. Hope or Despair?

I have no real preference, but I choose Hope because I like to think I’m not a bad person.

81. Could you be the Ultimate Lucky Student?

Probably not. I dunno.

82. Favourite chapter?

DR2 Chapter 4. The funhouse chapter hit differently.

83. Least favourite chapter?

DR2 Chapter 3 and DRV3 Chapter 3. The former primarily due to the Despair Disease and Nekomaru’s death at the hands of Akane’s stupidity, and the latter because of reasons I’ve already mentioned, particularly Angie’s Student Council.

84. Which character do you easily forget?

Pretty much half the Danganronpa 3 cast. Particularly Tengan, Izayoi, Gozu and Bandai.

85. Could you be a Dangan Protag? Why?

I’d love to be, but I’m not as quick-witted or inquisitive as the likes of Makoto, Hajime and Shuichi.

86. Favourite Anthology chapter?

I like a lot of them, but the one where they all make chocolate is really cute.

87. Describe Peko Pekoyama in 3 words!

She’s pretty cool. There’s not much to say about her. Even if she is the one who killed Mahiru, a character I love, she’s a lot more important to the plot than many realize, especially in regards to Fuyuhiko’s subplot.

88. Describe Mondo Oowada in 3 words!

Completely Underrated Marvel. Just refer to Question 19.

89. Least favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

Pretty much any of them that aren’t Seiko, Ryota, or Yukizome. I’m gonna say Juzo though, because of his whole bullshit that Junko used against him, and how the tragedy is primarily his fault.

90. Do you like Junko?

Not at first, but I like her a lot more as a villain now. She wasn’t that fun in the first game, but was better in the second.

91. What do you think of Monokuma?

As far as game mascots go, he’s alright, however, the more the series goes on, the less relevant he becomes. In V3, he serves no real importance, and the game may have been just as good without him, leaving us with just the Monokubs. I hate the Monokubs, but that’s primarily because their existence just takes Monokuma’s importance away. V3 would be so much better if we had one without the other, either way around.

92. Least favourite Monokub?

*Heavy breathing* Mono... *Heavy breathing* Fucking... *HEAVY BREATHING* PHANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!

93. Did you like the Monokubs?

Not for the most part. Monophanie and Monokid suck, and I hate them both. Monosuke sucks for similar reasons, but he’s just kinda...boring...Up until the whole incest imagery in Chapter 4′s trial, Monotaro was actually ok, and had some really funny lines, and as I’ve mentioned, I love Monodam a whole lot, since he was the only one who had something close to a character arc.

94. Did you like the Warriors of Hope?

I guess? I do feel bad for most of them, but at the same time, they can be really annoying. They ARE just kids, so I get it, but still. Masaru, I really didn’t care for. He was arguably the most annoying, and Jataro, while I felt bad for him, wasn’t much better. Kotoko was pretty fun in the end, and Nagisa was a really well written character with a strong morality to him. Monaca is a pretty sinister villain too, but I don’t like her as much as Junko and Tsumugi.

95. What do you think of Gundham Tanaka?

HE IS EXCELLENT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Also, as I’m writing this, it’s his Bday, so happy Bday to Gundham Tanaka.

96. Who’s an overrated character you dislike?

I said Chiaki was overrated, but I don’t dislike her. I guess people like Kirumi too much considering how little development she gets overall.

97. Overrated ship which is your NOTP?

Komahina, do not test me on this. Everywhere I go, I see that ship that I know, from analyzing Nagito and Hajime’s relationship throughout the series, is incredibly toxic and would never realistically happen simply due to Nagito’s nature, and the way his FTE’s end means nothing to me.

98. Outfit you dislike?

Everyone’s always saying that Akane’s design sucks, and while I’m not too concerned on it overall, I do completely agree.

99. Your absolute NOTP?

Komahina again, and I guess JunkoMikan.

100. Opinion on all the Protagonists!

Makoto is relatable as hell, and I sympethise with him a lot. It’s quite fun to play as him in the first game, because he reacts more regularly to the characters in a way that most people probably would. I love Hajime’s reactions, and his backstory. I’m not too fond on most of the memes around him, like Organe Juice and the 91cm Titties, but in general, his reactions to things and the way he tends to call out his classmates is pretty entertaining. As I mentioned, Komaru, and I guess Toko, are my least favorite protagonist(s) but I still care about them both greatly. Komaru is as relatable as her brother, and UDG gives Toko the character development she so greatly needed in Game 1. Kaede is amazing, and is a character who gets too cussed out by people both in the game, and outside of it, and her death was super relevant, and an amazing twist I didn’t see coming. She’s just awesome in general. Shuichi, while Kaede’s death did upset me, he was an equally great protagonist, and I loved watching his growth throughout V3.

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

A Donna Pinciotti character study (and how I write her on my stories)

I'm apologizing in advance, this is too big, I talk a lot.

Someone sent me an ask a week ago asking why I write Donna as a nice character, and that inspired me to make a specific post about my thoughts on the characters and how I choose to write them on my published stories, more specifically, in Rock You Like a Hurricane and When The Levee Breaks. So here we go.

I love all the main 6 characters, not equally, everyone has a favorite, but in the end, they all have a very special place in my heart.

Out of the six characters, Jackie and Eric are my favorites. I have trouble writing Eric, but I really love him, I don’t get why he gets so much hate, he’s such a good person. They are followed very closely by Hyde, I relate to Hyde a lot, and honestly I love writing him. I think Hyde and Jackie are deep characters, with lots and lots of layers, and I love exploring them.

They are all complex characters with distinct personalities, each one has their specific storyline, and they all have their little quirks. They are not perfect, they have defects and qualities just like any other human being.

This post is about Donna, but I plan on making separate posts for each character later. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

Let's start off, shall we?

Donna was my favorite character, until I started season 4. One of the things that bothered me the most on the show was how much Donna's character regressed after her first break up with Eric.

Donna is a very likeable character in the earlier seasons, she's independent, determined, passionate about the things she loves, cares deeply about her friends, among other things. What I particularly loved the most about Donna, was how progressive she was for a teenage girl living in the 70s.

She and Eric were a sweet couple, and their love was pure. Their break up at the end of season 3 was heartbreaking, but it was very in character for me. Donna always wanted to be a strong, independent woman, and Eric was trying to tie her down. And while I could understand Eric's reasons, Donna also had a pretty strong point. I do believe things could have been solved with proper communication, but they were teenagers and these things happen.

After their breakup, both Donna and Eric acted immature, but after Donna's mom left, she... well, she's changed. And not for better. There's this one episode from season 4 that really upsets me. Right after Midge left, Donna slept with Eric, and Eric was really happy afterwards, he thought they were back together, but Donna had absolutely no intention of getting back together with him, in fact, she said "she would've done it with anyone". She used Eric in that episode, she should’ve been clear to him about her intentions, I get that her mom left and that she was sad, but that was kind of cruel of her and I felt really bad for Eric.

That's one of Donna's flaws: whenever she's going through something, she becomes this selfish person, too wrapped up in herself to focus on anyone else's problems. She refuses help and she acts up, showing really self-destructive behaviors (like purposely failing school, smoking cigarettes, dating Casey Kelso, etc). Donna’s kind of a hypocrite, she doesn’t like when people tell her she’s wrong about something. She also doesn't care about anyone other than herself when she's angry or sad, a clear example of that was running away to California with her best friend's boyfriend, because she was feeling humiliated about being rejected by Eric. That was a pretty shitty thing to do, Jackie did not deserve that.

In fact, Jackie did not deserve many of the things Donna did to her, but to me, Donna’s worst offence was to side up with Kelso during all the times he was an asshole to Jackie (yes, that includes when Jackie started to date Hyde).

As a self-proclaimed feminist, Donna should’ve been more empathetic towards Jackie. She should’ve told Jackie about Kelso and Laurie, she should have discouraged Jackie to get back together with Kelso on season 3 (everyone knew how toxic they were, even Hyde tried to stop them from getting together again in his own way - by breaking that egg - but Donna actually encouraged Kelso and seemed rather amused with the situation), she shouldn’t have shown her boobs to her best friend’s boyfriend on episode 4x20, she shouldn’t have ran away with her best friend’s boyfriend without even thinking about Jackie’s feelings, she should’ve supported Hyde and Jackie’s relationship from the beginning, she should’ve called Kelso out on his hypocrisy towards Jackie and Hyde on season 5, she should’ve been there for Jackie - without judging her - when her mother came back. She should have been a better friend to Jackie in general, Jackie was bitchy and kind of annoying, but she was a good person, and she was always there for Donna when she needed it.

Jackie was supposed to be the bitchy one with a huge ego, but Donna slowly took her crown. To me, in later seasons, Donna was worse than Jackie from season one - season one Jackie was a bitch, but she was also innocent, and she didn't know better, Donna did, and she loved calling Jackie out on her behavior. I'll elaborate more on that when I write Jackie’s essay. 

And (I’m afraid people are going to judge me for this one) Donna should’ve been a better girlfriend to Eric. People always say that Donna was too good for Eric, and well... I disagree.

In the first three seasons, Donna and Eric’s relationship was healthy, they were cute together, and you could see how much they loved each other. But they got back together in California and didn't even talk about why they broke up in the first place. They just ignored it and pretended it never happened. Like, wtf? And then out of nowhere Eric proposes and she says yes? She hadn't accepted his promise ring less than a year before, and now she accepted an engagement ring? I’m sorry, but that was very OOC to me. The reason why they broke up was that she didn’t want to make such a big promise because they were sill young, and then they just get engaged when they’re still in high school? That’s bad writing to me.

Their relationship in season 5 was okay, their engagement didn’t make any sense, but overall, they treated each other well and were in love.

Then Red had his heart attack and Donna decided to postpone college so she could be with Eric. Another thing that didn’t make sense to me. Donna basically threw away her whole future in order to be with Eric in season 6 and 7, and they broke up in season 3 because she didn't want that for herself. It’s just… well, shitty writing.

After she stayed for Eric, their relationship changed, at least from what I could tell. And then all the episodes had the same storyline for Eric and Donna: Eric does something stupid, Donna overreacts, Eric spends the day kissing her ass to make up for it, in the end she forgives him and it’s always the same thing “Donna, I’m a dumbass, you’re too good for me, I’m sorry” and bla bla bla. It’s a freaking cycle, and it only gets worse after Eric leaves her at the altar.

Eric was a good person and a good boyfriend, he had his flaws, but overall, he was a decent guy, he shouldn’t feel inferior to Donna. She mocked him for liking the things he did (Star Wars, Styx, roller disco), and often acted like she was too good for him, a good girlfriend is supposed to support her boyfriend in whatever makes him happy, not force him to quit something because she thought it was too girly.

(For example, when Hyde was going to work at the muffler shop with Red, Jackie didn’t like that idea, but she supported him anyways, she said “If it makes you happy then, I’m happy”. Donna wasn’t very supportive of Eric’s choices, the roller disco thing is a great example, I mean, yeah, it was girly, but he liked it, so she should’ve supported him).

In my opinion, Donna and Eric’s relationship on seasons 6 and 7 wasn’t a healthy one.

I’m not even going to mention Donna’s actions on season 8. To me, they were unforgivable, that’s why I totally understand why people write her like a bitch on post season 8 stories. But hey, everyone was acting OOC in season 8, that’s why I tend to ignore its existence most of the time.

In Donna’s defense though... That was mainly bad writing. I believe that the real Donna would’ve been more empathetic towards Jackie, she would’ve called Kelso on his crap, and she would’ve actually talked to Eric about their problems. She also would have gone to college, she and Eric could make distance work.

Up until season 4 we could see that the writers were actually developing a storyline for Donna. She was bitchy in season 4, but her parents had just got divorced, she and Eric had broken up, her mom left... Her life changed a lot, it’s understandable why she acted out, the writers knew what they were doing then, at least in the character development part, but then season 5 started and Donna was a whole different person.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense in this essay, I have trouble expressing myself sometimes because english is not my first language, but basically, to me, the writers stopped caring about Donna’s character development by season 5 and I’ll always be bitter about that. 

A clear example of character development is Jackie, Kelso and Hyde. They grew and matured over the seasons, Donna didn’t, not really, if compared to them. It's incredibly sad to see most of the characters growing and genuinely being better people, while Donna was just… being there.

Donna had her good moments, as I’ve mentioned before, Donna has qualities, plenty of them by the way. She’s passionate about the things she loves, she wants the best for her friends, she’s determined, she has a kind heart.

One of my favorite scenes from the show is when Jackie asked Donna to help her not to fall into Kelso’s “charm” again, when he was trying to grow a beard. Donna was an amazing friend in that episode, it really made me smile. Donna had some really good moments with Jackie. I wish she valued them more, but I blame that on the writers and their need to put women against each other for “comedy”.

The Donna I write on my stories is based on the Donna from the earlier seasons, it’s a Donna who still has her flaws, but she pushes her pride aside when she recognizes she's wrong and apologizes, she doesn't see Jackie as her competition, she sees her as a friend who she loves very much, and wants the best for her.

When The Levee Breaks Donna is the real Donna, at least how I think the real Donna actually is. After Eric sent her that letter, she recognized that she gave up too much for him during their relationship, and that she wasn't being herself by doing so, so she decided to no longer wait for him and be her own woman, that's why she moved to Chicago. No one is worth giving up her dreams for, not even the love of her life. 

She loves Jackie and wants the best for her, that's why she encourages Jackie to move to Chicago with her, and she also wants to make up for the times she wasn't the friend she deserved. Donna recognized how wrong she was by siding with Kelso, and admitted that she took Jackie's friendship for granted. 

This Donna lost all the respect she had for Hyde when he came back from Vegas, to her, that wasn't the same Hyde she grew up with (she wasn't wrong), and she wasn't going to stay quiet and let him destroy himself (and Jackie). She stepped up, and tried to shove some sense into Hyde's head before leaving with Jackie, but Hyde can really be an ass when he wants to, so she gave up and punched him, that was the last time she saw him until he got his head out of his ass and went to visit them at Chicago after New Years.

Donna was heartbroken, but she refused to dwell on it and tried her best to move on with her life. She's at the top of her class at college, she's trying to be there for Jackie (who wasn't doing so good when they first moved in) and she tried to date someone else. 

Turns out that you can't really date someone if you're still in love with your ex, so that didn't work out very well for her, but it helped her realize that what she felt for Eric was real, and that it wasn't going away anytime soon.

In Chicago, Donna and Jackie formed a strong bond, they were friends before, but Chicago kind of made them sisters. During those 6 months they've spent living together, Donna developed very strong protective instincts towards Jackie, especially after Jackie opened up about her childhood with her mother. She saw Jackie struggling every day, she saw how often Jackie cried over the things that happened in Point Place, and she started to understand her friend better.

Donna's protective instincts kicked in when Hyde and Eric showed up in Chicago, but they softened after she talked to Hyde and realized that he was being genuine. She was still pissed at him, but she could see that he was suffering a lot, so in the end, she just wanted to see Jackie and Hyde being happy again.

Her feelings with Eric were conflicting, she loved him very much, and she was aware of that, she got tired of denying to herself, but that didn't erase the hurt of their past. After a long talk, she and Eric agree to start things again, but she makes it very clear that she's not giving up her future for him anymore.

One of my favorite Donna quotes on my story is:

"Eric, I don't need you in my life. But I want you in my life, I really, really do."

So basically, that's how I write Donna in WTLB, she still has her flaws, but she's overall a good person and a good friend.

Rock You Like a Hurricane Donna is not so different from WTLB Donna, she's still protective of Jackie, but not for the reasons WTLB Donna is.

Donna and Jackie grew up together in RYLH, no Eric, no Hyde, no Kelso, just the two of them, and I believe that had a significant impact on both of their personalities.

Donna and Jackie first met in school, and became best friends after Donna beat up a kid who was trying to bully Jackie. Donna and Jackie both had no friends - Jackie was new in school, and Donna was new in town - so they started to play together and basically became glued by the hip.

The fact that she didn't grow up as "one of the boys'' changed Donna's personality a bit. Not too much, we still love a lumberjacky Donna thank you very much, but her behavior around Eric and the rest of the boys is sheepish if compared to her behavior around the entire gang on the show.

That changes after a while, she starts to get comfortable around everyone after a few months.

Growing up with Jackie had an impact on her, not a bad one. Donna's way less judgemental, and she's not a hypocrite, at least not like she was portrayed on the show. Jackie calls Donna out on her bullshit, and Donna does the same for her, they make each other better and they would kill for each other.

Donna's also not afraid of showing her girly side every once in a while, and she and Jackie support each other on their interests. As shown in some chapters, Donna sometimes even watches Jackie's cheerleading practices, and she's always there to support her in the games.

Jackie encourages Donna to write on a daily basis. She always loved reading Donna's short stories, she claims that if Donna ever writes a book, she has to write a character based on her, preferably, a princess.

They have a healthy friendship in both of my stories, it's how it should've been on the show.

That’s all, I guess. If you actually read this, please feel free to give me your opinion about Donna too, I would love to hear it!

I’m posting Jackie’s character study sometime soon. Thanks for reading my ramblings.