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#and even that the fact they don't Already have friends meaning They're not getting key help/backup as they try to bite & kill you....
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thirty tags generally never being enough: LOS-307 also having a perfectly neurodivergent time manifesting as their having a distressing/harmful experience that goes ignored (as does their talking about it, from [forewarning] to [increasingly urgently remarking on it]) b/c no one else shares it, and their efforts to help themself out by requesting a break from a task that's overtaxing them or trying to cool the room to cool themself are thwarted b/c [not continuing to overheat for their own current wellbeing And to avoid its exacerbation and an outright crisis] is dismissed for [i do want to keep playing this game to win it though] and [i would be uncomfortable if cold]. also that when it's way too late it's like oh ok Now um well just cool down it's fine lol. just like irl. iconique autistique
#LOS-307#i mean this like [the internal experience Can't really exist or be a Problem: not in any way that a) means anyone would take action to#help with that and/or b) means the affected person would be allowed to take action to help themself with that] is more broadly nd#of course nt people have parallel experiences but Do have the sense of being justified in expected their reaction to be Taken Seriously#& this can be tied in to Other [there's a power dynamic] experiences like environments / situations being structured around the norm for#one group while others are having to make all these additional efforts &/or endure a worse time while experiencing this#and the people they could complain to would be like ''well I'm not [experiencing that] & everyone's Been acting fine sooo''#but cue any sensory factor that is understood to be a ''normal'' & thus ''''universal'''' bother....#then anyone can immediately drop everything & move heaven & earth about it. like well of course?#fidget cubes as nd sensory/stim aids then interpreted Mainstreamly as a frivolous fad b/c what else could this experience be#gotta ban them from classrooms b/c adhd students stimming or doodling or just being unable to focus Always is like#well that's way deprioritized versus the concept of Normal Kids theoretically being distracted by a Toy#or that yeah say someone's needing to fidget or stim & that Is distracting someone else?#well guess who's always the one who has to stop. that there's not eve an Idea of conflicting needs/experiences when They're the one thrown#or yknow distracted by [w/e condition] or bothered or distressed or impeded from being able to do [xyz] or etc etc#and like i said all the [LOS-307 being chatty & friendly & enthused & reaching out & this isn't interacted w/at all for the longest time &#they have to go ''ok well i'm biting & killing you now?'' before it's recognized] like yeah a day in the life. I'D chat w/you bestie#and even that the fact they don't Already have friends meaning They're not getting key help/backup as they try to bite & kill you....#unfair tbh. connected devices aren't their friends#oh one Pure Visual Element....they had a vending machine price display go [hello lunella] as she walked by. & didn't notice that either!!#how cute of them & =( hello LOS....#giving them the ''well another autistic hero'' award. their experiences resonate! they deserve it!#they're melting down; they wanna be more chill; they're minimizing their own experience / telling themself what they Should do....#screenshot as they display an infinity symbol while saying they're only 8 months old but time is a human construct....
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tossawary · 17 days
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I think one of the keys to non-canon and rarepair relationships for me in fanfiction is that you have to respect the relationships that are already there. Not like in a "you have to do the canon relationships and then break them up first" way, because you can definitely make it so that the canon relationship in question never happened OR was never romantic or sexual if you want. But in a basic characterization issue kind of way.
For example, when I wrote a Shang Qinghua / Yue Qingyuan fic, I was looking at the ways to make that work given the Qijiu and Moshang situations. And I ended up making it so that Qijiu either never had or never fully developed any romantic or sexual feelings in this AU, but they're still inseparable as friends / brothers / platonic soulmates of a kind. You CAN'T write a Yue Qingyuan who doesn't care about Shen Jiu. It's just not on the table in terms of characterization.
(I mean, you could, I suppose, but then it's a case of, "Who the fuck even is this guy anymore? You undid his whole backstory and now he's a completely different person." I do think you can write interesting AU stories focused on character development in which Yue Qingyuan learns to move on after post-canon or in which perhaps Shen Jiu's treatment of Luo Binghe becomes an actual breaking point for their relationship, but even if things somehow get REAL BAD between him and Shen Jiu, I don't really think Yue Qingyuan will ever be able to stop caring completely.)
Likewise, I made it so that Moshang never fell into the master-servant situationship, and ended up as cooperative enemies / distant allies of sorts. But Shang Qinghua still thinks Mobei-Jun is sexy. That's his ideal guy! Airplane Bro still being a little weird about his favorite character is not really negotiable to me, even if he's in love with someone else. He has eyes! He can still look at other men disrespectfully! He just doesn't act on his attraction.
Like, you can totally just sidestep any romantic / sexual feelings and make it so they never existed, in order to pursue your pairing of choice. But you cannot easily deny, in my opinion, the basic fact of a character caring on a basic level about someone important to them. I think it gives weird "you're only allowed to care about your romantic partner / no friends allowed" vibes to just completely cut off all other relationships. There's not a hard line between "love-triangle-fixing polyamory" and "completely isolated from even friendships because maintaining friendships with exes is cheating somehow monogamy" as options here.
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Today's @wolfstarmicrofic is a Roommate AU!
(872 words.)
James is slowly going mad.
No, not even slowly. He's fallen straight into madness, and he doesn't know how to save himself.
When Sirius asked if one of his course mates, Remus Lupin, could move in for a while, of course, he said yes. Remus had been going through something, and James is always happy to help. Not only that, but Remus is bloody brilliant. He went from being shy, fairly withdrawn, to a hilarious, witty person who James is happy to call his friend.
Sirius clearly doesn't just want to call Remus his friend.
James doesn't think he can watch the two of them practically undressing each other with their eyes at breakfast, accidentally reaching for the same thing and blushing like idiots while they apologise, or trying their hand at fucking awful flirting. It's getting painful, the clear fact that they've fallen for one another right in front of them, while they dance around it like they've never been certain of anything less in their lives.
To be perfectly honest, James is starting to wonder if he should just lock them both in a room and-
"S'fine, I don't care," Sirius' voice cuts through James' thought process as he steps out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. James looks up just in time to watch Remus following behind him hurriedly. So quickly that he almost walks directly into Sirius when he stops and turns around to face him. "I'm not carrying you through the project just because you forgot you had shit to do, though. You can do your part later."
"When have I not done my work, Sirius? Christ, at this point I thought you'd trust me. I already apologised for forgetting!"
"Mhm, and I've already said I don't care. Go have fun on your date, Remus," Sirius says back, just a hint of bitterness settling in his words. It really does sound like he cares.
Remus must be thinking the same thing, because he walks out without saying another word. Sirius immediately heads to the fridge, dropping his head against the door and letting his shoulders slump with a sigh.
"Oh, Sirius, you're a fucking idiot," Sirius groans to himself under his breath. James chuckles.
"Agreed."
"Jesus buggering Christ!" Sirius jumps a mile, practically falling into the counter as he whips his head around to face James. "How long have you been sitting there?"
"Long enough to watch that trainwreck," James answers simply. For some reason, Sirius seems to decide that it's the perfect time to play dumb.
"What d'you mean? It's fine, Remus is just..."
"Going on a date," James fills in. "With someone who isn't you. Which, by the way, is really bloody stupid of him, so at least you've got that in common."
"No, that's not- I don't..."
All James needs to do is arch an eyebrow, and Sirius' shoulders slump.
"Okay, fine, yeah. I really like him."
"No, really?" James asks sarcastically. At Sirius' unamused look, he keeps talking. "Sirius, I'm not being funny, you should see the way he looks at you when you're not looking. Or even when you are, actually. I'm surprised you haven't seen it! You should have asked him out months ago."
"God, I've really fucked it up, haven't I?" Sirius groans, scrubbing a face over his hand. "I wanted to tell him ages ago, I swear! It's just, he-" Sirius drops down into the chair opposite James, eyes fixed on his hands. "He was going through a lot, and then I was asking him if he wanted to move in before I knew what I was saying! How am I meant to tell him anything when he's living in the same flat as me? That could go so wrong, James. I could literally ruin everything!"
Okay, James is at a loss for words. That's... a lot, and Sirius is clearly stressed out. He opts for reaching across the small table and squeezing Sirius' shoulder. Before he can say anything comforting, though, a rustle comes from the door. Someone's trying to get in, and if they have a key, they're really struggling to use it.
Sirius walks over to the door with a confused frown, pulling it open to find Remus, key held out and a stunned expression on his face. James watches the two of them hesitate in front of one another for a moment.
"Remus? What-?"
Before he can say another word, Remus expression fixes to one that James can only describe as determined, before he surges forward and connects his and Sirius' lips. Sirius staggers backwards for a moment, caught by Remus hands sliding around his waist as he reaches his own up to the nape of Remus' neck.
James doesn't know whether or not he should be averting his eyes. Thankfully, they decide that for him, Remus pulling away and starting to speak hurriedly.
"I got halfway down the street and realised that I was being so fucking stupid. I really like you, Sirius. I have for so long, and I guess I thought maybe a date would help me get over it but, God, all I wanted to do was come back here and see you, so..."
Okay, so they're both idiots.
Still, by the look on Sirius' face, he has a feeling that they're finally getting their act together.
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chocmoon-latte · 4 months
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"Hancock has no regrets about becoming a ghoul"??
It baffles me when some people think Hancock has zero regrets about becoming a ghoul. Absolutely none at all apparently. Like yeah, he plays it up when you first meet him before he's a companion, but let's be real he plays up pretty much everything in regards to the whole "sexy king of the zombies" image he projects.
It takes travelling with you away from Goodneighbor to give him some time to be introspective for him to finally realize that him becoming a ghoul was just another escape route from himself again. He's got several lines of dialogue that literally reiterate this. It's a key point of his character:
Hell, running from myself is what made me into… into a damn Ghoul.
Well, I mean, I didn't always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a Ghoul, I knew what it was going to do.
I just couldn't stand looking at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore.
The coward who'd let all those Ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys.
If I took it, I'd never have to look at him again. I could put that all behind me. I'd be free. Didn't seem like a choice at all. Turns out it was just me running from somethin' else in my life.
I mean, after reaching max affinity with you, he realizes that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all (because he's finally got an honest friend he can be open with now). He now feels comfortable where he is - but to imply that he doesn't have at least the tiniest amount of regret? Heck, if you go onto romance him (or attempt to), he stops referring to himself as handsome and literally starts calling himself ugly, which naturally goes entirely against the image he projects:
Why don't we just agree to keep it friendly for now or till they find a cure for ugly? Heh.
You don't want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.
You sure you want to be stuck with this ugly mug?
(You could even say he implies it beforehand with another line of dialogue elsewhere in-game when he says "I'd be mad too if I was that ugly." But that's a stretch I guess.)
Combine that with the fact that 99% of ghouls don’t choose to become ghouls. Hancock did. But he didn't do it for a fun experience. He was already in a bad place when he became a ghoul. He didn't turn to be cool and edgy like he pretended he did when first getting to know him.
He lost his appearance, any connections to his old identity and old friends/people he might’ve been associated with (for better or worse), and in return gained hostility from bigots towards him for merely existing, from an overwhelming majority of the Commonwealth population that hates ghouls. There's the Institute and Brotherhood who want to kill anyone like him on top of that. Plenty of people out there who think he and other ghouls are monsters for just being alive.
Not only that, but something which adds onto this is the fact that he's a client of the Memory Den, and they're very selective with their customers. And what's the whole point of the Memory Den? Reliving past memories. Irma's terminal entry about Hancock, as well as the other two ghoul clients Kent and Daisy, all imply the memories they go back to relive are primarily from their human days. (The one on Hancock straight up says "if you thought he was handsome and dangerous now, you should've seen him before he turned ghoul.")
I genuinely refuse to believe that Hancock has never had any regret whatsoever about becoming a ghoul. The man who's spent a decent chunk of his life running from his own problems instead of confronting them, has NO regrets about taking a drug that alters his entire being and functionality on a biological level and will force him to outlive everyone he knows? This man is FULL of regrets!
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seventhcallisto · 6 months
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Just had a little idea... flashing lights and eyestrain warning.
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❝you shine like emerald❞
LOADING...
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Happy House.
Stray Kids (ot8) x F!Reader (9th member addition)
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PREVIEW: "I am not a member of stray kids!" You kick up the papers littering the floor. Frustratingly pulling at your hoodie. "They're always screwing over those guys. I feel kinda bad." Your most trusted friend, Jiu, snickers behind her bright laptop screen. "I-i should have left when I had the chance! Should have joined that dance group that tried to recruit me! Why did I think I was gonna be the next jihyo!? Oh god." You pace, waving your hands around to drain the building anxiety curling into your lungs and making it's home there. You twist towards jiu falling to your knees and wailing miserably. Childishly.
"I wasn't even on the show. It's a boy group! I'm going to get eaten alive! I'm a trainee! They have years over me! I'm so dead. My career is already over before it started. My life is over." You fall to the floor. Completely done with this whole ordeal and the accident you've gone through, sniffling pitifully. "I told you to always read the fine print. You never listen." Jiu scolds. She, in fact, did not, but she wants to make you feel worse as your best friend. Pink nails flick tiny specks of popcorn towards your slumped body on the floor. And she's right. You should have read the fine print before some businessman shoved a pen into your face. What is so wrong with stray kids that you're being made a fool just to make them look bad? Would adding you tear the group dynamic? You know you're screwed as soon as your concept photos drop.
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SYNOPSIS: As if some type of double-sided punishment, you're manipulated to join one of jyps' most successful groups. Stray Kids. Added as an extra member and with no experience just to cast you off as another unsuccessful idol, all because you didn't read the fine print when they dangled the keys to your dream in front of your face. They've got tricks up their sleeves, and the contract you signed says you're a permanent member of the unsuspecting group of guys now. You had no idea you were signing that type of contract. And you especially have no idea why they're trying to bring down their biggest boy group.
table of content + cws: she/her pronouns. female anatomy. major age differences but not in a power-hungry way(ur 19). invisible honorifics, I swear. manipulation. jyp(ent) is kinda the villain here(ilyjypplsdontsueme). ace!trainee reader. inexperienced reader. forced proximity and friendship. the members r kinda mean at first. Sorry, not sorry. ooc stray kids bc no one knows them like they know themselves. overworking. growing friendships. polyamorous(sharingiscaring). quick mutual pining(but they don't realize it). eventual smut.
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Prologue. — 🧾
Chapt. ⓵ ❝_____❞
chpt. ⓶ , chpt. ⓷ , chpt. ⓸, chpt. ⓹, etc.
To be continued.. 🧷
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I accidently posted this too early (crying). Lmk what you guys think ! — calli.
[taglist is open]
© seventhcallisto 11/22/2023
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darkmasterofcupcakes · 3 months
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I think Heaven have two very distinct cultures.
Winners, who are at least decent people (at first anyway) who have their own morality from Earth, and Angels, be it the big G's direct creations or later heavenborn.
Things like homophobia would be foreign to the latter, same for marriage honestly I think, as they're just on a different vibe, and in general, heaven seeing genuine goodness being pushed would avoid the worst.
I'm pretty sure faulty interpretations of the Bible get shut down very quickly.
So overall, while the influence of Winners would affect things, it's not like it would be too much, especially when winners too would be influenced, unlike the Sinners who are stuck in Pride Ring but still disliked by the hellborns.
I view the disdain toward Angel Dust as simply a disdain for his actions while not caring of his emotions.
Doing drugs is bad, selling your body is bad, and Angel already is in hell.
That hell part really is important, because I think Lute wouldn't be like that regarding Winners who were prostitutes in life or other unsavory sex related jobs.
Beside, there's a difference in people's mind between sleeping with people and sleeping with a lot at the same time.
Just listen to her argument "crackwhore who fucked up already" and "he blew his shot", the argument specifically is regarding him already being in hell.
TLDR, that's just Lute not caring for Angel's reasons and being hostile because sinner.
Though Vaggie misunderstanding being in relationship with a man instead of being married to your child's father is understandable.
Overall, I think the members of the Sisterhood would be key to getting her to be honest about it.
The discussion between Lute and Vaggie about it is sweet to imagine, and it definitely make Vaggie angsty.
Small headcanon, but I think Vaggie wrote notes for her mom as a child when Lute wasn't able to be there and vaggie couldn't go see her, both so that Lute could see them and so that Vaggie don't forget something, and it was something Lute played along with, especially since before Heaven's phone equivalent, letter would have been the go to, just like for Hell.
And during the 3 year times she has been in Hell, she wrote letters "to her mom" when feeling too emotionally overwhelmed, despite knowing what Lute did to her.
The idea of the "Winners" and Heavenborn having different cultures from each other would make a lot of sense. Though I do think things can be complicated for people like Lute in my AU, who is Heavenborn herself, but was born to two parents who were "Winners", meaning she was raised more with their beliefs, but also learned and later developed a lot of the mindsets of most other Heavenborn.
That being said, I can and do imagine that there is some overlap in the beliefs structure, especially as time has gone on and more Winners would have been around to influence the Heavenborn. So, for example, I do think that while it wouldn't be as big of a scandal as it would be for Winners (especially ones like Lute's parents, who were likely alive sometime in the 1700s at the latest) having a child out of wedlock and choosing to be a single parent would raise some eyebrows among the Heavenborn. Though I also feel like, for them, "marriage" can just be two people being in a relationship and saying they're married; they don't need anything to make it "legal" or official.
Though I do feel like there are also things that Heaven itself considers even more of a big deal than they are on Earth and, honestly, in Hell for the most part. Two of those things being secrets and "rank". In reality, Lute being a single mother itself may not have been that big of a deal to most Heavenborn, but the fact that she kept the baby's father a secret was a bit of a scandal, and she kept the secret because while they could technically get away with having a casual "friends" relationship in public, with Adam being her superior/boss, she really wasn't supposed to be in a romantic or especially sexual relationship with him at all, and while they were mostly able to hide it, the baby did complicate things.
And that would make a lot of sense - Lute has a bias against Sinners and Hell, and the fact that she views herself as having "lost" her daughter to both by the time of the meeting would not improve her views on either. So of course, from her perspective, she wouldn't be willing to accept the idea that someone who was already deemed unworthy to get into Heaven could ever deserve a second chance. She just views demons and Sinners in particular, as flat out horrible people who will ultimately never be able to change.
Lute wasn't often openly vulnerable even to Vaggie when Vaggie was growing up, since she wanted to be "strong" for her daughter, to be the type of person she hoped Vaggie would want to become. But talking to Vaggie about her parents, and especially about her mother, did cause her to show a bit of emotion. Especially when young Vaggie, who was able to make the connection that her mom was sad because her parents weren't around, and the reason her parents weren't around was because they weren't happy about her being born, did ask if Lute ever wished she could still have her parents.
And Lute immediately tells Vaggie that even if she misses her parents, she wouldn't have given her up for anything. And if anything, she really feels sorry for her parents because, thanks to them not being willing to accept Lute's decision to raise her daughter herself, they're just missing out on getting to be part of Vaggie's life and seeing the person she's already becoming, even at that young age.
I could definitely see that happening. Vaggie especially did the "letters" a lot during the days she had to spend with Sera, when Lute had to go to Hell for the Extermination, and Vaggie was still too young to stay home on her own. And yes, she did still write the letters when she was in Hell, probably even up to the events of the series, but obviously she never sent them. Part of her wanted to just burn the letters, just write them to get those emotions and thoughts out on paper, but then destroy them because of the memories just doing that brought back. But she couldn't do that, so she has a little secret place where she just stores all these letters that she's never going to send, that not even Charlie has ever seen.
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baratiddyappreciator · 6 months
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Dating the main Baki cast HCs
Continuing on with these because... idk, I can't find many that I really like.
Baki:
You two would probably get together sometime after Kozue has had enough with his constant putting his life on the line and in danger.
He's not a good boyfriend, but he's not a bad one either. He's really only had experience with Kozue, and even then, they weren't really together for a really long time.
He's either very present or very absent, there is no in-between. Be prepared to be put on a back burner if he wants to train to defeat a strong opponent or just because he yes he absolutely needed to spend an entire month training up in the middle of nowhere.
He does try and be present for you though, he likes to show his partner that he cares and appreciates them. A lot of making food and cuddling whenever he's not obsessively training or getting ready for a fight.
Introduce this man to ASMR and he will absolutely melt tbh, he's already super chill, ASMR would just amplify that level of chill. Once you introduce the concept of a self-care night, he'll be fully on-board.
"Hey baby, are you ready for our quiet night in? The blankets are fresh out of the dryer, they'll be nice and warm."
Kozue:
You two would probably get together a while after she dumps Baki because that boy gives her too much stress to date, but she can indeed keep him as a friend. Let me tell you that the relief of having someone less likely to get themselves killed by being an idiot from planet strong does wonders for this girl.
A lot of average and basic dates, but that's okay, she doesn't need anything fancy as long as you have a good time. It's about the quality with her, and some good quality time is all she needs.
Self care is really important to her, considering she spends a lot of time studying and doing extra-curricular activities (as well as worrying about Baki's dumbass), so playing with her hair during down time or even a little shoulder massage while she's studying goes a long way with her.
High-key needs someone who can reassure her that she's doing the right thing or validate her worries and not make her feel like she's crazy or over reacting about something that stresses her out.
Pamper the hell out of her, this girl deserves it. Get her some cozy pajamas and a nice fluffy blanket, drag her into bed and watch a movie or her favourite idols performing live before bed, help this girlie pop relax after a stressful week.
"Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have crammed that project, I mean, it's not due for another while. Thanks for the help!"
Hanayama:
He met you at a bar, and the man absolutely did not waste any time expressing that he was interested. Unfortunately for him, he's basically physically unable of being suave or subtle, so he absolutely fumbled the bag in the beginning.
Don't expect him to have any idea what he's doing in the beginning, he'll be awkward and confused about what he's doing with you, a lot of just straight up staring at you and than saying something that is (probably) really weird or rude. It takes a while for things to click with him, but once they do and he figures out what sort of things you like, he's actually a pretty good partner.
He's actually really sweet once he figures out what you like. Do you like quality time? Yeah, he can do quality time once in a while, just don't expect him to appreciate it if you ask him to snuggle while he's in front of his underlings. He has a reputation to uphold you know.
He absolutely loves showing off how strong he is for you. Need that jar opened? No problem, he's got it. Just make sure you have a spare container handy for whatever is inside. You want him to help you reach something? Yeah, he can do that, up you go. Anyone bugging you? Not anymore. As a matter of fact, they're never seen again, and if they are, it's definitely in worse shape then they were last.
He's theoretically a great listener, but whether or not he's actually listening to you is a 50/50, because he might just be lost in his own head. He doesn't talk a lot, but when he does speak his mind, you should probably listen, because he doesn't really confide in a lot of people.
He'll absolutely spoil you to show off, but then sometimes he'll get you small, really thoughtful gifts that he knows you'll like. Did your favourite necklace go missing? Don't worry, he's gotten it cleaned, fixed and polished, he's got it in his back pocket in a box so he can give it to you later.
"Hey, I've got somethin' for ya. Turn around and close your eyes, trust me, you'll like this one."
Katsumi:
Honestly, you either met him while just out and about and saw him with the Shinshinkai karate boys, or you met him while you were just out and about. Either way, it's one of those situations where you wind up having no clue how you bagged this one.
He's absolutely the kind of guy to be able to charm your socks (and pants) off but he does it with pure intentions. He just wants to make sure that you know he has eyes only for you.
He absolutely uses his parent's relationship to judge if he's doing things right. Do you look at him the same way his mom looks at his dad? No? Well, looks like he needs to work harder then, because that's absolutely how he wants his pookie to look at him.
You know those giant plush teddy bears? Yeah, so does he. He would absolutely get you one. He would also crawl inside said teddy bear and surprise you, especially if you've had a rough day. So if he asks you to go grab something from the store, then be very suspicious.
Absolutely the kind of guy to cuddle you while you both sleep. He'll wake up a few minutes early just so he can spend some time cuddling you before he gets up to work out. Lots of sleepy kisses and little mumbled I love you's while he rubs your back or plays with your hair.
"Hey precious, good morning. Did you sleep okay? The sun's not up yet, we can stay in bed a little bit longer."
Jack:
Honestly, you likely met him while he was out and about, likely at a restaurant or while he was at the gym, and he probably ignored you the entire time, the man is incredibly used to having to ignore people staring at him, but he's not very used to those stares being literal heart eyes.
He's oddly enough a more competent partner than Baki, but not by a lot. He'll give you attention, sure, but you aren't really a priority in his eyes, just a nice bonus that makes life more enjoyable for him. He'll at least pause his training and workouts to give you a small kiss on the forehead or to look at you while you're talking to him.
Definitely not perfect, he's a stubborn man, and while he'll usually give in to some requests of yours. He's not going to ease up on his training, and he's not going to stop taking steroids, but he will at least refrain from taking them in front of you, and he'll at least bring water with him while he trains.
Katsumi has lazy mornings, but Jack has lazy nights. After his night-time run, supper and a shower, he's perfectly happy to curl up and laze around with you until one or both of you falls asleep.
His voice gets really rumbly when he's tired or right after he's woken up, so talking to him when he's right on the cusp of sleep winds up in him mumbling back to you, not even bothering to open his eyes unless it's just stupid enough.
He's more used to violence, so gentle touches absolutely make him shiver. If you gently scratch the back of his man's neck right at the base of his skull you can knock him out in under five minutes. He can't even complain, it probably helps with his back pain, and he's not above returning the favour.
This man radiates heat too, so a movie night in bed while it's chilly out is just pure bliss with him, because he'd absolutely start tracing little shapes on your back and thighs.
"Hey darlin', c'mere, you're gonna get cold all the way over there. The bed's warm and it's gettin' kinda late."
Kosho:
You probably saw him doing something dumb and dangerous (cough cough standing in front of a charging bull cough cough) and he somehow managed to not die??? And you also managed to not die??? Impressive.
He's not a distant partner, but he's not very close either. He doesn't want you to be seen as a potential weakness for him, but he also wants to brag about you because you're just so gorgeous and precious, and he's absolutely head over heels.
If you like taking care of your hands, that's something he'll have in common with you. His hands and feet are some of his greatest weapons, his fingers and nails especially. Give him a manicure and he will both kill and die for you.
Treating his greatest weapons with such care and gentleness is a surefire way to show that you care about him and his training. Show this man some love, he deserves it.
Playfully bullying each-other is a very large aspect of the relationship most likely, he is a younger sibling, he's gotta get that younger sibling energy out somehow, but he won't cross the line, he's not trying to be mean.
"Yeah yeah, and you're the president of the United States. Should I follow you around everywhere you go like a lovesick puppy to make sure you don't get kidnapped?"
Kureha:
You most likely met him at work, in school, or at the gym. And like most other people, you probably thought that he was really charming and well-spoken. Until you got to know him a little bit better and realized that he's just a straight up bitch.
Unlike Kosho, who playfully teases you, Kureha will sometimes actively be mean to you. If you can roll with the punches though, you'll be surprised to find that he'll start showing you that he doesn't actually mean anything by his snarky comments.
No, he will not let you play with his hair, absolutely not, that is his and his alone. You can look at it though. And don't use his shampoo either. Sure it smells good, of course it does. It's his.
I hope you don't mind messes either, because this man is either one of the neatest people alive, or one of the messiest. I'm talking just walking away from whatever he's doing for hours on end because he got called away to do something, or got the sudden urge to go workout again.
He's also a wild sleeper, so for the first little bit you'll get some good sleep, but once he gets into a deeper sleep you're probably going to get kicked or rolled around.
If you somehow manage to sleep through that, then his fifteen billion alarms are probably going to wake you up. You will not be in a normal sleeping position, because he'll have moved you around in his sleep.
He doesn't really cuddle, but he will let you curl up to him. He likes feeling how much more delicate you are than he is. He's also the kind of guy to just grab your hand and look at it for a little while, doing all sorts of random stuff like posing your fingers or bending your wrist.
"You do know that you've got some of the worst circulation that I've ever seen, right? Your fingers are always so cold, go stick them under some hot water before you give me hypothermia."
Retsu:
It's a case of right place right time with this one, because as far as you were concerned, you were just going to go get some groceries, and now there is a wall of man asking you if you know where they moved the seasoning to.
Very much an old man when it comes to love. He'll take you out on several dates before he actually asks you to be his partner. Not like, six or seven dates, nono, enough dates to just assume that you were already official.
Even when you are dating, this man is going to be working hard to properly court you. Do you want a quiet night in? He'll clean the place up, cook some dinner and set up some nice music so you can have a relaxing atmosphere.
He's also the kind of person to just spontaneously go on a walk. Sitting inside all day when there's good weather is such a waste of a good day, why not go walk through the park to go see the ducks or watch other people having a good time?
A few months into actually dating, he'll just sorta start reading you poetry. Really beautiful poetry too. The man has such a relaxing voice that he could probably soothe you to sleep. Ask him to read you a story during a rainy day and you'll be snoring before he finishes the first chapter.
"Did you want some more tea before I begin? How about a blanket? Alright, let's see what we have here."
Doppo:
Honestly, the only way I can see Doppo getting into a relationship with someone is if Natsue passes away, and even then, he probably wouldn't, but HYPOTHETICALLY, if he did, it would be with someone closer to his own age, he wouldn't want to feel like a cradle-snatcher.
We all know how devoted he is to Natsue, if he falls for you he'll fall HARD, anything you want, you can get it, just say the words. Hell, you don't even have to say the words, if he catches you looking at something for a while with that look of want in your eyes, expect it to be placed into your hands on your next date night.
Speaking of date nights, those happen frequently. He wants to make sure you know just how loved and valued you are, so he's taking you out every weekend for a nice quiet dinner somewhere cozy and pretty.
Expect for him to teach you a thing or two about self-defense. He may be your Superman, but he's not always right by your side, and he wants to know that you're safe.
Katsumi is pretty chill, so he wouldn't exactly mind another parental figure in his life either. Which is good, because Doppo does care about his son, and if Katsumi is against you being with him, he'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place.
He holds your hands a lot. When you're walking, sitting together, laying down to go to sleep, he just likes holding your hands and calling you pretty.
He's a suave mf, he knows how to compliment someone to get their heart fluttering. He'll look you dead in the eyes and give you the most thoughtful, love-filled compliment anyone has ever given you, and he won't stop until you make him shut up.
"Honey, you are the most stunning person I know. I'm lucky that you chose me, because your love is like standing in sunshine, like walking on a cloud."
Shibukawa:
I just can't see him getting involved with someone much younger than him honestly. Just imagining him with a sweet older partner that he can just sit and exist with and talk about life is just such pleasant imagery for me.
Someone who understands all his old aches and pains, and is there to support him through it. He's not decrepit, mind you, he's still pretty spry for a man in his mid seventies, so if anything, he's the one taking care of you.
He loves his early mornings, drinking tea and watching the sun rise, listening to the birds and the sounds of nature before the city comes to life, probably sitting out on a patio, just the two of you.
A lot of mischief. He's a mischievous old man, and you'd probably have to reign him in, he's not as spry as the youngsters he pranks after all, and sometimes someone needs to remind him to slow down a little sometimes.
He probably has a collection of all of his glass eyes, divided between old broken ones and new unused ones, all the way from his first one to the newest ones that he's had made. It pays to have spares.
You know the old people who pop out their dentures to scare kids? Yeah he does that with his eye, and you'd be left either trying to comfort this poor traumatized child or scold him so the parents don't get too upset. You can laugh about it later, don't worry, he certainly will be.
"Oh nonsense! That little brat needed to have a good scare, did you see the way he was treating his parents? It's just a glass eye, give him a few years and that'll be one of the coolest things he's ever seen!"
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effervescentdragon · 22 days
Note
Carra whump is so underrated like I so desperately need a beat up Carra being tended to by Gnev. Bonus points if he was brawling defending Gnev’s honour.
i had a certain au in mind but that one isn't really ripe for picking in my mind, however i saw this art of yours this morning in between my slumbers and, well. i really hope you like this <3
"Gaz, lay off - lay off, shit - ow, ow, c'mon -"
"Carra, I swear to fuckin' God, shut the fuck up you baby, you brought this on ya self -"
"Youse could be a bit gentler -"
"Then move your head, I can't get to the cut and it's still fuckin' bleedin', 's not stoppin -"
"Ah, it's nothin'. Might leave a scar, though, how cool would that be, just -"
"Shut the fuck up, James!"
Jamie shuts up, because Gary actually yells at him, loud and proper. The breath he sucks in after is shaky, his lips pinched and his eyebrows furled, but when Jamie looks into his eyes, they're... they're huge, and Jamie doesn't know what that means.
"Gary?" Jamie says quietly, his burst lip opening up again. He feels it start to bleed again and he licks the iron, not wanting Gary to get even more upset. "Gary, lad, I'm -"
"Don't call me lad, I'm older than you." Gary scowls. The paper towel in his hand makes a reappearance, and Gary's touch is surprisingly gentle when he dabs against Jamie's lip.
"Not taller, though," Jamie says on reflex. He's had a growth spurt from one summer to the other in his teens, and now, at nineteen, he towers over Gary for the third year in a row.
Well, usually he towers over Gary. Not right this moment, though.
Now, he's sat on the edge of the tub in Gary's upstairs bathroom as Gary tries to deal with the mess that's Jamie's face after the fight. Gary himself hasn't been hurt; Gary hadn't even been there. He'd got to the alley just as that piece of shit John threw the final kick, and seeing Gary, him and his two friends gunned it out of there like there was no tomorrow. Gary'd screamed at them, fiery as always and fully prepared to beat up high school kids, if the furious way he was swearing was any indication, but Jamie'd tried to move and groaned in pain. That distracted Gary thoroughly and completely.
"They aren't aren't in," he explained as he half-dragged, half-carried Jamie to his Aunt's house. "They're with the kids, some camp this whole week and I came in earlier than I was supposed to. Aunt Linda left the key for me, thought I could use some alone time away from my folks on my break," he'd said. "I already hate this town and it hates me, how the fuck am I supposed to rest when the first thing I see is your arse being kicked by some kids?"
"There was three of them," Jamie had tried to protest, but Gary scowled at him and told him to shut up and sit hii ass down so he could see how badly he was hurt.
That brought them to this; Jamie sitting on the edge of the bathtub and Gary looking down at him after cleaning his face with some alcohol and gauze. Jamie's head hurts, and he's pretty sure there's something wrong with his ribs, but Gary is fretting and he is mad - maybe at Jamie, probably, he's always mad at Jamie these days - and he is so, so cute when he's all commanding and taking charge. Jamie understands why he's the captain of the Under 21s.
"Where else are you hurt?" Gary asks, his hand tracing Jamie's busted brow, as if unthinking of the action, and Jamie suddenly also understands that his adolescent crush might not have been as far away in the past as it used to be. "Tell me."
Jamie's left hand is on Gary's waist. He's acutely aware of that fact, because he grabbed onto Gary for support when Gary started cleaning his face. He wants to hold on, but he makes himself let go.
"I'm fine, leave it. You fixed me up as well as possible, and I'll be -"
"Jamie." Jamie stops, again, because Gary doesn't call him Jamie anymore, not like before, when Jamie was fourteen and Gary was seventeen and the best football player Jamie knew and a friend and larger than life. These days it's all wrong, or it feels like it's all wrong. It's Carra when he's in a good mood and James when he's mad, and Jamie doesn't know what to do with this, or with the soft little, "Please."
He looks up at Gary. He's still larger than life, somehow. His eyes are still huge and a beautiful brown colour.
"My ribs," he says, equally quietly. "That cunt got a kick in at the end, and I don't think they're broken -"
"Take off your shirt."
Jamie tries not to react, but the tone Gary uses and the words, put together... Jamie's acutely aware he's not looking at Gary and that his face feels hot as he obeys. He's slow in taking of his dirty shirt. It's red, so at least the blood doesn't show. He drops it on the floor and closes his eyes as Gary bends over, then goes on his knees in front of Jamie to better look at his ribs.
Jamie takes one look down and shuts his eyes tightly enough he sees spots playing in the darkness behind his lids.
Cold fingers press against his skin. "Does this hurt?" Jamie shakes his head, and Gary continues pressing until he finds the place that makes Jamie wince. "That's what I thought. I don't think they're broken, but ya gotta take it easy for a while."
Jamie nods. Gary's fingers are warming up on Jamie's skin. "Aye, captain," he tries to put some scorn in his tone, but he knows it all comes out wrong. He still hasn't opened his eyes.
He hears Gary shuffling and huffing. His breathing is erratic and he leans on Jamie's thigh in support as he gets up. Jamie forces himself to open his eyes.
Mistake. Gary is staring at him like he wants to see inside Jamie's mind. "Why were you fighting?" he asks. His shirt is white. There's dirt on one side, in the shape of Jamie's fingertips. Jamie knows how soft the material is, and how soft Gary's waist is under it.
"They were talkin' shit," Jamie says. It's cold in the bathroom, but he's running hot. "I couldn't let them get away with it."
Gary rolls his eyes. "You talk shit, Carra, you should know how it goes. The fuck did they say to you to make ya think it's a good idea to fight three of them?"
"There were only two when I threw the first punch," Jamie corrects, and Gary lets out a giggle.
"You're an idiot," he says, and there is a little smile in the corner of his mouth that he can't hide. "You could've got seriously hurt, and then what? You'd lose the place in the squad, you just wrote me they're letting you debut for the first team, you idiot! Nothing they said is worth missing that shot, James, I told you to keep your temper, I told you it'll get ya into trouble, and I was right, look at your face now, all busted up -"
"What, am I not handsome anymore?" Jamie grins, his lip hurting like hell but worth it to see Gary scowl again. "I'm still the handsomest bastard youse've seen -"
"Bastard is right, ya' idiot, to miss a chance because of fightin' -"
"But hadsome? Rugged, wouldn't ye say -"
"I'd said it a million times and I'mma say it again, only an idiot would risk the first team for fightin' -"
"Well I was fighting for ye honour, so catch me doing that again when all it gets me is bein' called an idiot!"
Jamie doesn't think when he says it. Him and Gary had always bantered, quick as whips both of them, and Jamie had always enjoyed it a bit too much to truly think about all the shit he's saying when he's winding Gary up.
"My - what?" Gary looks like someone's struck him. "My honour? What the fuck're you talkin' 'bout?"
Jamie says nothing. He's got nothing to say, or at least nothing that won't break something between him and Gary. It's all wrong these days, with Gary staring for United and Jamie on his way to be starting for Liverpool. There's a difference, a distance there ever since he switched from blue to red. It's not something they've ever talked about but... Jamie remembers. He remembers kids in red jerseys surrounding Gary, big kids, bigger than Gary was back then and much bigger than Jamie. He remembers the taunts and the words that his Ma told him never to repeat if he doesn't want her to wash his mouth out with soap. He remembers Gary's look when Jamie kicked the ball back to him on the playground, and how his frown disappeared when he saw his blue jersey when Jamie was eleven. He remembers the frown deepening when Jamie came to their playground in a red jersey for the first time.
"James," Gary says, and both his voice and his eyes are serious. "What did they say?"
Jamie clenches his fists. "Nothing, Gaz. Leave it alone, I didn't mean to say it, just ignore me."
Gary is still looking at him, and Jamie hates how fucking beautiful Gary's eyes are. Hates how much he likes when Gary smiles, lines appearing around them when he laughs at Jamie's stupid jokes. Hates how fragile Gary looks in the bad bathroom lights, like Jamie could break him with one word. Hates how much he wants to feel how that stupid barely-there moustache would feel against his skin. Hates how he knows they don't have that much time anymore, to fuck around with the ball every summer like they've been doing so far. Hates that he knows a darby is inevitable. Hates how he can recognize Gary's smell, even over the alcohol and the blood. Hates how much he just - wants.
Gary furrows his brows, then seems to decide on something. He lets the dirty towel fall on the floor as he steps closer between Jamie's legs, and the movement startles Jamie so much he grabs for Gary's waist with both hands this time. He swallows, grasping onto the white shirt, his breathing a lot heavier.
Gary's hand is shaking when he brings it down to trace the bruise on Jamie's cheek he can feel forming. "Jamie," Gary says, and it isn't fair, how much that one word affects him. "Jamie, were you defending me? Is that why you got hurt?"
Jamie swallows around his dry throat again. His whole body is hurting. His whole body feels like he's on fire. He can feel Gary's heat over the material of the shirt, where his fingers press down.
"I'm no prince charming," he says, stupidly, nonsensically. Gary smiles, and Jamie's startled to realise he hasn't seen that kind of smile on Gary in a while.
"No, you aren't," Gary says. His other hand rests on Jamie's shoulder. "But you're pretty charming, all ruggedly handsome, you."
Jamie tears his eyes away from Gary's lips to look into his eyes. It feels too hot in the little bathroom. Gary's fingers splay across Jamie's neck. It feels like the whole world is pausing. Jamie feels like he can't breathe. He tightens his hold on Gary's waist, maybe pulls him closer. He doesn't really know. None of this makes sense.
Turns out, he can breathe.
He takes the next breath right from Gary's lips, soft and hesitant and hotter than anything he's ever felt before. The angle is awkward but he realises he can hug Gary close and -
"- for fuck's sake Jamie, I can taste blood, I busted your lip, sorry -"
"Nah," Jamie grins, opening his eyes. "Fuck it. Bust it again," he says, and pulls Gary in.
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nightqueen1221 · 2 years
Note
Hey, I have a request can you do what hxh characters think of our strength, Like strong or like what's their thoughts? Including the phantom troupe if that's okay with you of course! <( ̄︶ ̄)>
Sorry, I'm not doing the Phantom Troupe anymore. I don't really like them, but I did the main four if that's ok.
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Gon Freeces
-He isn't one to underestimate someone's strengths by they're looks, however he does have a bit of an idea on how strong you would be.
-He was in utter shock the moment you proved you were much stronger.
-Even if you use Nen or not, you have a pretty strong arua.
-"Wow Y/N, if you keep practicing you could become stronger than Killua!"
-"What!?"
-By all means, you could be stronger than him already, but it would be best not to say anything since he'll want you to prove it.
-He wants to spare with both you and Killua. It being you all closer together and it makes you stronger. Its a win-win.
-Did you go thought special training? Did You have your strength since birth? He wants to know!
-He doesn't make you use your power when you don't need to just to see you use it.
-He knows when you use it, you'll use it when the time is right.
Killua Zoldyck
- He is interested alright.
-The second you show any form of strength, he wants to know how you got it.
-He is also happy that you're strong enough to protect yourself.
-One less person he doesn't need to fight to keep safe.
-It's not like he would get annoyed if he had to fight for you. It's the fact that if he was away from you, he knows you would be safe.
-Also, he is interested in your full strength.
-Can you be stronger or weaker than him?
-What techniques do you use?
-When did you start training, if you did?
-Other than that he treats you as a friend. nothing more, nothing less.
Kurapika
-He views you as a valuable ally.
-He tries and treats everyone with respect.
-(Key word: tries)
-You however, he holds a great respect towards.
-He admires your strength and usage of it.
-He will ask for any advice you have on how to get stronger and ways to utilize it.
-If you just give a response of, "IDK man, I just kinda, do it?"
-He's going to be slightly pissed off.
-He's not mad with the fact its naturally given to you, it's just, he wants to know.
-If You actually give him a well thought out explanation, that is one of the times he will be at his peak of focus.
Leorio Paladiknight
-He... respects you.
-However, it really doesn't matter to him.
-Only if you did something really cool, his eyes would light up like a kid and he'd ask for you to do it again.
-If your power involves something that could get you seriously hurt (which it probably does) he will IMMEDIATELY rush to your side and help.
-He'd most defiantly brag about you to others.
-"Oh, them? Yeah, that's my S/O, their pretty strong if you ask me. Best you not try and do anything to them or you'll regret it~."
-(this is so short I'm sorry)
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hisokakissmeplz · 1 year
Text
What it's Like Dating Them
Sorry I've been gone so long things have been hectic.
❤️Adulttrio❤️
CHROLLO
Probably the nicest boyfriend out of the three
he's gone a lot bc of his job so he definitely always comes back with a bunch of gifts
Fancy smacy dates at the finest restaurant obviously
Always wants you to wear his jacket
You're also probably a member of the troupe
Doesn't like it when you go on missions with other men (even if they're a member too)
You're not allowed around Hisoka period
He loves when you guys do simple things together too like snuggling and watching TV in fact he prefers it to fancy go out to eat dates
Long walks together
Super protective too and won't let you out of sight
He gets jealous easily but tries to be understanding
Loves holding your hand or hugging you from behind if he sees someone look at you a way he doesn't like
He reads to you sometimes
Would always smile and tell you good morning
HISOKA
A real emotional rollercoaster for starters
He gone a lot too but he tries to make up for it
Carnival dates and your favorite flowers, picnics and long walks, trips out to town
He's up for anything you want to do
Buys you anything you want
Sometimes he's steals just bc he thinks it's fun
First thing he does when he walks through the door is kiss you
He already has keys to your house or he just breaks in
JEALOUS ASF
but unlike Chrollo doesn't try to be understanding
worse he'll do is kill them, or purposely flirt with people infront if you to make you jealous
If he sees someone looking at you in a way he doesn't like he will most definitely put on a show for them
Hugging you, kissing you, grabbing you all while looking them straight in the eye
He wants them to know you're off limits
Would kill for you any day
You just mean that much to him
He's awkward with feelings bc you're his first ever real relationship like he's never had a partner before so he's kinda learning but he's still super loving
If you're strong enough to fight him he'll want to fight or at least train with you
Don't get it wrong though if anyone hurts you they're done for
He helps fix up your injuries after if you fight or he'll call Machi
He does try to make you jealous sometimes if he feels you're being distant too
He'll start petty arguments too just to piss you off bc he loves hate sex
He'll apologize the best he can afterwards if you're still mad at him afterwards but usually you're too tired to be mad at him after
He's never actually mad at you when it's petty arguments but he can get pretty angry over big stuff
It's not like usual anger though
He'll be super calm and give you the silent treatment or he'll walk out of the house and won't tell you where he's going or how long he'll be gone like he usually does
He will apologize if he's wrong though, after awhile
ILLUMI
The most jealous out of the three
He sets out to kill anyone who might to steal you away
Exes, potential new partners, sometimes even concerned friends
He's not good with emotions or feelings either so he doesn't really know how to talk about them but he will always listen to you and whatever is going on
Oddly comforting
He's the oldest sibling so he's also super protective
This might sound weird but like mom energy yk
In the show one of the butlers comments on how much he acts like his mom or something so I feel like he would be super mom like just as a person
Ofc his mom is an assassin tho so it's not like normal mom energy it's like psycho mom energy
If that makes sense
He likes when you wear his clothes
He wouldn't tell you that tho he'll just sorta smile to himself or whatever he does when he's happy I'm not super sure
Also a fan of hate sex
He wouldn't purposely start arguments with you though, like Hisoka
He likes when you're both super mad at each other and then you fuck more as an apology
Probably bc he doesn't know how to apologize
He doesn't like the idea of you fighting even if you're strong enough or you're an assassin
You're also probably not allowed neared any of his friends (Hisoka and Chrollo)
Hates when you two fight even if he likes hate sex
He knows he's not a good person but he wants to be good to you because he feels for you
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akechi-stole-my-heart · 6 months
Note
no. 1 thing people get wrong about sumi? (Or royal trio in general)
i mean honestly that she's terribly written. she's not. there are flaws because of the time constraints of third sem being so short, and i do have issues with her writing, but people complain so much about things that aren't issues or were the entire point. for example, the first half of her confidant being boring. she's supposed to feel like half a person, like a mask, like there's something Off, that there's more to her she's keeping secret.
something that haunts me is how little she talks about her dead sister, which feels like should be the key to her character arc and her slump--she mentions her once, in passing, and doesn't get very upset about the fact that her sister and best friend is dead! but the thing is, sumire thinks she is the one who died, and so she doesn't mourn herself. because of course kasumi wouldn't care. no one would care if sumire died. anyway, my point is, before you find out she's sumire, the way the narrative completely brushes over the fact that her sister died just months ago feels like missed potential. but it's actually entirely intentional. that's how the whole first half of her confidant is.
oh here are a couple other things about sumi that i've seen people be wrong about in the past. there was a post going around about how sumire should have been allowed to be more angry and go apeshit about being herself and allowed to be depressed for a while and like i just don't understand that? did we play the same game??
sumire DOES get angry she DOES go apeshit she LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL YOU so she can remain kasumi. after you defeat her she refuses to talk to you for days and for the next couple ranks she's visibly upset and depressed. sumire's arc is about recovery. they had to show her getting better in the short amount of time they had, so she couldn't continue to be dark and depressed beyond those couple ranks, but it is there.
and like. sumire wouldn't get angrier or darker than she does, because she's far too respectful? it's not in character for her to be rude or angry beyond how she already is in the game. and on top of that, she idolizes the protag. so she's not angry with him, she's angry at herself for failing him by refusing to face the truth.
the other thing is the take that cendrillon in her entirety represents sumire, while cendrillon at the ball represents kasumi. which is a really nice idea and i'd love it were it true, but it just...isn't. when sumire awakens to cendrillon the second time, it's kasumi's "spirit" or memory that transforms into the persona. cendrillon is always symbolically tied to kasumi, whether that be sumire's desire to become kasumi, or sumire carrying on the memory of kasumi. and the latter idea is nice, but it doesn't quite work for me without a middle step where sumire embraces that she is herself, without the baggage that is kasumi, first. (which is why i gave her odile in code violet.)
as for royal trio, probably the idea that they're a really boring and overrated trio, which just. isn't true. i get that there is limited content of them, but royal trio is all about the potential. as someone who has written a 100k+ fic about them, trust me. the potential is there and just waiting to be explored.
and this isn't really a royal trio take persay, but the idea that goro doesn't care about sumire, dislikes her, only sees her as a useful teammate and nothing more, or is indifferent to her, is objectively false. seriously. the moments are few and far between, but goro does show that he cares about her. in navi dialogue, one particular moment during the royal trio infiltration that lives rent free in my mind where he seems genuinely concerned for her, even the way he refuses to fight her is in its own strange way an expression of care.
and ofc, most notably when he saves her life after their fight with maruki by stopping her from going after him. "he only sees her as a useful teammate" my ass. if that were true he could have let her kill herself going after maruki and it'd have been nothing to him, because their fight with him was over and her usefulness was moot. but no, he stops her, because her safety matters to him. can you tell i'm insane about that moment? because i am so insane about that moment.
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https-furina · 10 months
Note
Hi! Could I please request prompt 38 (“they’re coming. kiss me!”) with Heizou? Thank you! Have a lovely day/night!
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✎ i want you instead.
ft. heizou x gn!reader
prompt: “they’re coming. kiss me!”
w.c. 702 words
content: fluff (as always), reader has a fan club? picture them as the barbara of inazuma /j, best friends to lovers? a confession is included
notes: if you hear me screaming, sobbing, crying into my pillows - you really do i cannot lie it i love him
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an idol to the inazuman society, there isn't a soul among the islands that doesn't know of your voice and talents. that is of course not even limited to your best friend, detective shikanoin heizou - the man who you can't even remember befriending. one day it was like you'd suddenly acquired his genius intuition and witty remarks at your side, you could say like a sidekick but if anything, you would have been his. heizou is put on a pedestal regarding his skills as a detective - despite just being a regular doushin otherwise. sometimes you wonder how you managed to bond so effortlessly with someone at the opposite end of the job spectrum to you.
and when you call it effortless, it really was. heizou and yourself fit like puzzle pieces that had been missing each other - key components to the other. one time heizou had jokingly grabbed your hand in his, grinning as he threw out "snug like a glove" into the air but it was true, your hands moulded together so perfectly it almost fed your delusions about the detective in his absence. you could go days without seeing him - just like his colleagues - and in those painstaking days, you'd find yourself curled up under a blanket in your home, sketching every miniscule feature you remember of heizou into your sketchbook. you'd rather defy the raiden shogun than ever let him near that sketchbook.
thankfully heizou's keen eye and ability to read between lines unwritten means he is more than used to being a scapegoat for you when your so-called fans are more than rowdy after a performance. he's not surprised when you catch up to him backstage, smiling awkwardly as you greet him. he quirks a brow, almost waiting for you to request some absurd action from him like usual.
"heizou - my favourite friend, the smartest detective in the tenryou commission-" heizou clucks his tongue, folding his arms across his chest as he cuts you off with a grin.
"the only detective in the tenryou commission," he corrects you promptly and you roll your eyes in response - time is running thin as you hurry a glance over your shoulder, "what do you need this time?"
you scowl at the insinuation behind 'this time' and you're about to retort in all of your dramatic ways but there's hushed voices of fans around the corner and your heart is racing thousands of beats a second, virtually in your throat as you stare at him in a daze. you've long had a crush on this man, you ponder if he's already aware.
"they're coming," you breathe as if you've ran a marathon but your lungs simply cannot keep up with you, "kiss me!"
the request falls out of your mouth between gritted teeth but verdant eyes notice your panic and the shaking of your hands when the voices get nearer. he bites his tongue, swallowing so hard his adam's apple bobs when he leans to press his lips onto yours. what the hell has gotten over the both of you? kissing your best friend? but the thoughts wash away when it feels as it always does - natural. you mould together once more but it's not a platonic feeling and perhaps it's mutual when heizou sends a sharp look in the direction of prying onlookers, watching as they retrace their steps backwards and leave.
even in their absence, the two of you don't seem to part. in fact, shaking hands reach up to tangle in burgundy hair when heizou's hands grab at your hips, gentle as ever as if you're porcelain beneath him.
"all the suitors in that fan club of yours and you choose to pull shit like that?" his hot breath fans across your face and you scoff, eyes refusing to look at him in embarrassment.
"i don't want them," you utter, catching your breath from the borderline makeout session that'd just erupted in the corridor, "i want you instead."
there's a smirk on heizou's face and it has smug written all over it. you want to smack it off that considerably handsome face of his but his lips find yours once more when he mumbles "about time" against your mouth.
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© https-heizou 2023.
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monsamborabutterfly · 7 months
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Okay as every week here are my thoughts on this week's of EP and oh boy do I have thoughts lol
1) atom you dirty little shit I hope karma fucking gets you good. Zero empathy for him. I get it realizing you are queer can be tough & so can be sleeping with someone for the first time but falsely accusing Boston like that is horrible.
Title I think you're a great actor but stop playing such fucking annoying people please and thank you🙏🙏
2) the fact that all his so called friends just went with it without even thinking about it shows me that they all fucking suck. I hope atom will tell the truth and they'll apologize to Boston for once.
3) sorry to all my topmew babes out there but my god do mew and boing have chemistry. I want book and mond in a show together so bad now.
ALSO TOPMEWBOING angry sex give it to me
4) boing is a shady little bitch but God I'm living for it!!
5) low-key hope we see sand and boing kiss!! I love my sandray but the "not me ghost shipping part" of me would be fucking delighted to see it ngl.
6) oh daddy dan...hun I love you but it's time for you to go babes
7) sandray angst hurt so bad but I believe in them. They will make it🤡🤞
8) NOW TO MY FAVOURITE PART OF THIS EPISODE:
Oh BostonNick. This is everything I wanted and so much more than I hoped for. And it was perfect in my opinion. From Nicks pic on Boston's phone to them talking to them making love. I like that it wasn't dragged out. I like that it was so very BostonNick. I cried. Multiple times lol I hope they are allowed to be together now and won't have to go through too much shit anymore. I can't wait for next week's BostonNick in love era
9) I'm glad they're showing ray going to rehab. I don't think we've ever seen something like this in any bl before. I love it!!
10) last but not least I wanna talk about neo and marks acting in the talking scene. I've already seen some shitty takes. And yeah maybe I'm biased but I think they're talented as fuck and some people seem to forget who Nick and Boston are. Mark didn't overact. Nick is just a highly emotional person. He feels things so deeply and he's so in love with Boston it makes fucking sense for him to full on sob cause everything breaks out of him. And Boston cried too but he's very emotionally repressed. He's terrified to show emotions. He's not the type to full on cry in public. I mean we got more emotions from him than I thought we'd get. It was very fitting and I'm sure it's exactly how Jojo and everyone else wanted the scene to be.
Okay done ranting now! Great episode as always!
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nyxielovespythons · 4 months
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Why NejiTen should be canon
Before I say anything, I can recognise that NejiTen is not canon, although I want it to be lol. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, so I ask that you respect mine, and if you want to challenge it, you can *politely* do that in the comments.
The major countering ships to NejiTen are: NejiHina and LeeTen, so I will talk you through why these ships don't work out.
First with LeeTen (because I don't want you quitting after the drama of NejiHina). Lee and Tenten are seen as very close throughout the series, though Tenten makes it clear that she finds Lee annoying and hot-blooded. This is the opposite to Neji, who Tenten seems to admire a lot, since she liked to train with him, and even put on lipstick in the manga for his chūnin exam finals. They seem like the perfect best friend duo, in my opinion. Romance doesn't need to be involved in every since best friend duo, there are enough of them already. In the Boruto series, Lee is seen with his son, Metal Lee. Many think that Tenten is the mother, due to the eye shape, and I think she could easily be. I mean, she's the only kunoichi in Konoha in the same age group as Lee (I think, I haven't fact checked yet), and the girl in his team. Tenten is probably the easiest choice for Lee's wife that Kishimoto could've made. However, if they were to be married and have had a son together, they would now be divorced. This therefore means, that if they had got married, then the relationship would not have worked out, and LeeTen would've failed. If they had not got together, then Lee would've married a different woman, and even if Lee then divorced that mystery woman, they clearly do not have mutual feelings for each other any more. They might have had feelings for each other, at different stages of their lives, but they either both grew out of their crushes or it was only one-sided to begin with.
Second. The NejiHina incident. I'm sorry, but I will have to go on for even longer than LeeTen, because some people don't understand that this ship is incest, and I'll tell you why. Excluding the fact that Neji had strong resentment towards Hinata for quite a period of time, they still wouldn't work out. Their relationship only evolved into *family* love, as confirmed by Kishimoto, just as Boruto loves Himawari, or Temari loves Gaara. What's wrong with a "big brother-little sister love"? Why must everyone make everything romantic? Neji cares deeply for his cousin, as does Hinata. She calls him 'Big Brother Neji', showing that she only sees him as her older brother. Besides, Hinata was so deeply in love with Naruto, she would've never agreed to the marriage. Moving on, a lot of people, from a range of cultures, some of which invite cousin relationships, think that Neji and Hinata getting married and producing heirs is okay. Some of them (purposely?) forget that the reason you don't have kids with your sibling is because it increases the chance of genetic defects dramatically. Although having kids with your cousin is legal (at least where I am), it still has quite a high risk. These people try and back it up by saying that the Hyūga clan would've wanted a pure Hyūga-blooded heir. Hm... Uchiha clan, anyone? Sure, this was common, but there are plenty Uchihas that are so distantly related that it would be fine to have offspring (such as Itachi and Izumi). The same could be said about the Hyūgas. Maybe Neji would've been their best option for a pure blood husband, but there would've been other choices, more people that were much further distanced in relation. I've got this far, and I haven't even mentioned another key fact: you know that Hiashi and Hizashi are twin brothers, right? Identical twins, to be exact. Lemme show you something: "Identical (i.e., monozygotic, or MZ) twins share 100 percent of their genes". You see that? It means that Hiashi and Hizashi share the same DNA. And this means that Neji and Hinata are genetically closer than cousins. They're actually genetically half-siblings. Hm. The Hyūgas are smart enough to figure out that it probably isn't the best idea to inbreed them, right? Well. That doesn't matter, because even if they overlooked all this incestuous evidence, there's this. Hinata isn't even the current heiress. If Neji survived the war, he would not have married Hinata in Boruto. If the Hyūga clan forced him to marry the heiress, and have children to keep a pure bloodline, he would've married Hanabi. Hanabi is the current heiress, so she would be the one married to Neji. Got it yet? Neji and Hinata would never have happened.
The last reason NejiTen should be canon: their chemistry. Tenten is shown to greatly admire and respect Neji, constantly calling him a genius, and she has blushed because of him in the manga several times. He believed in her abilities enough to sit under the practice dummy she was hitting with kunai. Neji comments that her fight would be interesting, showing that he thinks she is a good fighter. He is also shocked at her defeat, further proving that. In the first databook, Kishimoto confirms that Neji and Tenten trained every day for a month in preparation for Neji's chūnin match against Naruto. During this training, Neji reverse engineered and perfected the moves only reserved for the main branch of the Hyūga clan, mainly the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms and the Eight Trigrams Palms: Revolving Heaven. You should also note that while all the other contestants trained with jōnin, Neji chose to train with Tenten. "During one of their training sessions, birds are shown flying in the sky and Tenten tells him that she is exhausted and can't keep going. Neji responds that he thinks he used too much of his chakra and faints. Tenten is seen running to him and asks him if he's alright." Tenten wore a different outfit to watch Neji's match, and as I said, in the manga she also wore lipstick. After his fight with Kidomaru, Neji remembers seeing Lady Tsunade with Tenten. In the Shippuden, during Team Gai's fight with Kisame, Neji rushes to Tenten's side when she seems to struggle in the Water Prison.
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In the image above, it shows the two finishing each other's sentences. They can communicate with little dialogue and know what the other is thinking with only one word. Tenten winks at Neji and invites him to go to the bathhouse with her, both in the anime and the manga. Later, after Neji's death, in the manga, she expresses anger, thinks about Neji and asks why he left her. In her memory, Neji doing the "nice guy pose," which has been performed in the past by Gai, Naruto and Lee. The pose signifies that one will keep their promise until death, as Lee states to Sakura during the beginning of the Sasuke retrieval arc after Naruto does the pose and promises to her that he will get Sasuke back. Neji doing this pose before Tenten implies that he promised her something that he intended to fulfill until his death. In the anime, Tenten holds her hands in a prayer and asks why he left her as she remembers Neji doing this "nice guy pose" to her, then she walks away crying and says that she's never going to forgive him. The implied promise that Neji made to her is not known, but it was significant enough for Neji, who tends to be stoic and serious, to use the cheerful and significant pose his "hot-blooded" sensei and teammate have used in the past. When caught in the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Tenten dreams of more mature versions of Lee and Gai as well as Neji being alive and by her side. She's the only person whose Tsukuyomi dream involves not only Neji being alive, but being with him.
They are shown constantly beside one another throughout the entire story, similar to the couples Asuma and Kurenai, and Shikamaru and Temari. While Neji is very formal and strict, he is shown to be comfortable around Tenten. He isn't shown to mind when she teases him or winks at him. He is also rarely portrayed as a character who apologizes to anyone, but he is shown apologizing to Tenten. In both the manga and anime, birds are present during the scenes where Neji and Tenten are shown alone together. In the manga, the only male character Tenten is shown alone with is Neji.
Other Trivia include:
Tenten's name and Neji's themes compliment each other. "Tenten" literally translates to "heaven heaven" in Chinese, while "Hyūga" translates to "place in heaven." In the new Chūnin Exams arc, Neji is shown holding two heaven scrolls with the characters 天天
Tenten's weapons shop in Boruto is named 忍具転転転, which directly translates to "Ninja Tools Turn Turn Turn." Furthermore, the characters "具転転" in the name translate to "revolving." Thus, the name of Tenten's weapons shop can be a reference to one of Neji's primary moves, Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven.
During the blank period, Tenten wears a uniform that includes a dress with a flame pattern similar to the flame in the Hyūga clan's emblem.
Neji and Tenten are depicted as compatible: the Databooks reveal that Neji is a Cancer and Tenten is a Pisces. In Western astrology, Cancer and Pisces are considered a compatible and harmonious pairing. The Databooks list Neji's blood type as O and Tenten's blood type as B. The blood type personality theory popular in Japan considers O and B blood types romantically compatible.
Neji, during his death, is portrayed as a Phoenix on fire. In the anime, Tenten utilizes the moves "Twin Rising Dragons" and "Exploding Dragon Strike." In Chinese folklore, the Phoenix and Dragon pair symbolize perfect harmony and balance between yin (Phoenix) and yang (Dragon).
Among the Konoha 11, Neji and Tenten were the only ones who were 18 years old during the Shinobi war, whereas Naruto and Hinata were 16 years old and the rest were 17.
Neji and Tenten share the same hairstyles as Hashirama Senju and his wife Mito Uzumaki.
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Hi, I'm always very impressed by your world building skills, even in shorter stories! Do you have any advice for aspiring writers on how to build their fantasy world?
So i drafted a response to this in between working just far too much and then my computer crashed and i lost it. Then i was even busier so i never got around to writing it again but i am making some time this weekend, so worldbuilding post - take 2
My main, high level worldbuilding tips are:
Rule of Cool: worldbuild things you think are fun and interesting. not only is that the best way to get ideas you like and are motivated to write about, but other people will also think they're interesting too. have fun with it.
Iceberg theory: know more about the world than ever makes it into the story. people can sense when worldbuilding is shallow, so even if they never see the true depths of the world they can often sense it's there. plus if u know the whole picture, everything the readers do see will seem more coherent
Integration: i heavily integrate the world i'm building into the story i'm telling--so dig into the plot and characters and make sure that the world and the story serve each other well. your world is there to contribute to the story so make sure its fulfilling that purpose
For more specifics about how i personally world build and for some examples from my stories of the above guidelines, see below.
So firstly, i love worldbuilding. i just think its a ton of fun and could easily spend hours just thinking about worlds in my head. (i mean what else is there to do when ur commuting to work, amiright?) i think that does make it easier for me to take the time to do it right and makes the world come through more vividly in my writing. it can get annoying or tedious or be more challenging at times, but since i like it/find world building interesting, i'm more willing to put in the time and effort to whip it into shape and i get less frustrated with that part of the process in general.
i'm also always thinking about world building to some degree in the back of my mind. picking up interesting information, facts, snatches of cool ideas or images or whatever. then i throw all that in like a junk drawer in my brain so when i sit down to more officially write or flesh out a world, i already have spare parts at my finger tips to use or drawn on.
Reading and consuming other art and worlds also makes it easier to make your own, just lik reading is a key part of writing practice. i don't just mean fiction, but just anything about the actual world makes it much easier to make up your own--that can manifest as awe at the fireflies that actually exist or spite that dragons dont. Whether that's random youtube video essays about the history of musicals or drinks or fashion to books and articles and documentaries or just my friend's niche interests (or their regular jobs). i'm always taking worldbuilding notes in the back of my mind.
For a more writing specific example, i read this short guide '50 Ways to Kill a Mermaid' (its locked for AO3 so u hav to sign in to read it) and it was super fun and cool to read that info from a writer who had studied marine biology. then when i was fleshing out Don't Shoot the Messenger a year later, the problem of Satrasi being a sea demon in a fresh water pool and bloating came to my mind because i'd stored that tidbit from the article away for later use.
My personal method for worldbuilding and plot outlining is sort a brainstorming/Q&A i have with myself (i hope this makes sense when i'm done writing this all out lol).
I've mentioned this before but the prompt that inspired Dale was: "You’re pretty sure your boyfriend was replaced by an eldritch being that can barely emulate being human. Weirdly, you enjoy a better relationship with them than your actual boyfriend."
So when that idea grabbed me, i started brainstorming about the world and asking myself questions. Why is the reader with the boyfriend if they don't really like them? What would make someone stay in a relationship like that? Do i want to make this a dark story? And i did not, i wanted it to be fun, so the arranged marriage angle came to mind. And if that's the premise then when is the story? is this our 'past' or another world entirely? diff world means more freedom so i automatically leaned in that direction.
Can the reader tell the 'boyfriend' has been replaced? Are demons a thing people know about? does the reader know that's an option? which is more fun? if the reader is worried about Dale getting caught, that's more room for hijinks so then yes, demons are known, but not common otherwise too many people would notice.
So my plot and worldbuilding are evolving in tandem and informing each other, based on the type of story i want to tell and how the characters i have in mind will react etc.
i run through a lot of ideas and turn them over in my head--trying out diff pieces to see if they fit--and am always willing to drop an idea or save it for another story if i don't think its working for the current one
For iceberg theory, i mentioned above for Dale would be the religions in that world. When i decided to introduce a priest like character (for discovery danger) i knew i needed to focus more on the religions than i previously had noted. the majority of what i came up with isn't int he story, but i think the fact that i know it helps me write when did end up in there, helped make it consistent, and means i can more easily work in allusions to it without having to work so hard those singular times.
For example, i'd decided to call the demon realm "the Depths" early on, which to me already invokes deep water and darkness, so i followed that through to sort height and air and light as being perceived more positively. fire and light are important symbols in this world and they primarily burn their dead--to bury someone below ground would be seen as almost condemning them and someone drowning is also seen as like, not good for their soul because what if it is 'pulled down' rather than 'ascending'. some of this was alluded to in the chapter, but most of it is not. this also helped me come up with the various "by the light" "dawn's ire" and other similar little 'religious' phrases and exclamations different characters use at times.
Meanwhile, in Sacrifice, the people living their are relatively non-religious--thats why they both don't pray to any other deities and it takes 5 years of problems to even bother trying an old god. it's not sacrilege because they're desperate people trying a long shot, not violating or abandoning a different belief. because i wanted the reader's main problem with it all to just be that they didn't think it work.
And why is she a translator? because i wanted to use the idea from that one post that goes around about how ridiculous it is in movies when their translated prophecies rhyme in english. why are they arguing about the translation? because its a dead language so no one really speaks it, that means the people who came up with it were here a century ago or longer. why aren't they here anymore? nomadic so they left and ended up staying away because of a natural disaster elsewhere. why is this town here now? a particular export/resource in this area became valuable enough for people to try to live here. the fact that its a lumber town due to some rare wood native to the area doesn't come up in the story, but i know it and i think that i know that about the town helps it feel more real, makes it easier for me to reach for new details when i need them
and going back to anything can be inspiration, let's talk about the doorlock in the very beginning of Finally Woken. its literally just a magical keypad/number pad but with different colored tiles instead of numbers because i wanted the reader to be able to get in, but i felt it didnt make sense for them to hav a physical key. and i thought it would look cool in Heshi's door and it went well with the fact that he's a glassblower . also, why is Heshi a glassblower? because i frickin' lov blown glass - i just think its so cool and pretty. that helped lead into the sort of artisan economy feel that world has.
Each of these stories has an outline and notes doc at a minimum. the notes doc is where i throw lik pics, inspiration posts, random worldbuilding ideas etc. only much shorter stories or stories that are heavily based in 'modern' world don't hav extensive random notes.
my Dale folder has subfolders for characters and the setting, as well as random worldbuilding files such as "demon summoning/magic" "spiritual belief and org" "fashion - feminine" and so on. Even excluding the plot outline and chapter notes (and not counting pics) i've got like, over 4k of random notes saved. dale is the one i hav the most of that for, but all my fics have some little section with stuff like that jotted down
in the end, i think the best way to sum up all that is with my three original rules of: put stuff u think is cool in your world, known more than you tell to help everything fit together and seem deep, and build your world around your plot and characters because they should all be working together to tell the story you want to tell.
honestly, i could ramble about worldbuilding all day so if anyone has any questions or wants more examples, just let me know ^^
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damonjuicyscock · 2 months
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Playlist-Chapter 15: Stand by me (90s Noel Gallagher X reader)
Pairing: 90s Noel Gallagher X Reader
Warnings: Sad, very sad. Angst, fluff, mentions of pregnancy loss, and death of a loved one, smut (unprotected P in V)
Words: 5211 (I got carried away this time XD)
Summary: After their son's death, Y/N and Noel's couple isn't doing fine. It's tearing them apart, there's only one way to heal.
A/N: Heya Y'all ! Here's chapter 15, I hope you'll like it, as per usual. As I said, it's another important chapter, dealing with pregnancy loss or miscarriage. This is a topic that sometimes isnt taken seriously, or people are told they're exaggerating. It's something that we must talk about. I promise the next chapters will be happier ones ! We're almost at the end of this fanfic (I'd say 4 or 5 chapters left), so soon, I'll finally work on the requests.
Next part this weekend !
Love y'all, take care of yourselves !
Enjoy !
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“Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday I've got a lot of things to learn Said I would and I'll be leaving one day Before my heart starts to burn
So what's the matter with you? Sing me something new Don't you know the cold and wind and rain don't know They only seem to come and go away Times are hard when things have got no meaning I've found a key upon the floor Maybe you and I will not believe in The things we find behind the door So what's the matter with you? Sing me something new Don't you know the cold and wind and rain don't know They only seem to come and go away Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows Yeah, nobody knows, the way it's gonna be”
January 1997- London:
I was depressed. So was Noel.
None of us knew how to act with the other. We were barely talking to each other. Andrew’s death shook us.
We moved in the house that would become “Supernova Heights”. And we didn’t have a minute alone for us on the evenings because it quickly became an open nightclub.
Noel wasn’t touching me at all when we were alone, but was all touchy when others were around, and I hated this.
I felt so alone, I didn’t have anyone to talk to.
So I started drowning my sorrow in alcohol, which wasn’t helpful because I ended up crying, then throwing up, and Noel was yelling at me because I was shaming him.
And a night, I lost it.
I became friends with Kate Moss not so long before, during Knebworth, and I was so fucking wasted I wasn’t good to be around.
So, how are you doing sweet Y/N? She asked
Trying to feel good as you can see. I answered, drinking my vodka
Trying? You should feel good with the house you have.
I don’t know if I have to remind you but I’m grieving my son.
Oh I see. But he wasn’t born yet so…
I was shocked.
I was almost 7 months pregnant Kate. It already was a human being.
Y/N, stop talking about this and have fun. Noel said, smiling but squeezing my leg, indicating me I should shut up
I’m sorry for your loss Y/N, truly. But you should try to get through it… She added
And oh, she shouldn’t have.
Listen to me Kate, I really like you okay? you’re a good friend, but you’ll make this kind of comment the day you’ll be pregnant and when your baby will come out fine, because he won’t have been strangled by his own umbilical cord okay? You didn’t lose a baby; you don’t know what it is and how it feels like! I shouted at her, standing up, on the verge of tears
Wait Y/N, it’s not how you should…
Fuck you. In fact, fuck all of you, I’m out of here. I said, leaving the living room
I went to the only room no one had the right to go to, not even me. Noel’s studio. I found Noel’s whiskey bottle and started drinking. I sat on the couch, fixing the ceiling, crying.
A few minutes after, when he saw I wasn’t coming back and after he searched me in the whole house, Noel entered, I heard him closing the door.
Are ye done? He said, coming in front of me, his arms crossed
Done for what?
Moaning like a mardy…
Don’t. seriously, don’t. I interrupted him, chuckling sarcastically
Ye owe fucking apologies to Kate.
I don’t owe owt to anyone! You fucking turned our house into a fucking nightclub without even asking me If I agreed to this, If I wasn’t too depressed or too tired for this because you don’t care and all this because you just don’t want to be alone with me!
Oh stop yer fucking nonsense!
I was sobbing, my heart was in pieces.
My fucking nonsense? You barely talk to me, you don’t touch me, you don’t make love with me, you don’t kiss me except when there’s other people around! Didn’t you think that maybe I needed some time alone with you after what happened? That we need to talk about it? To what fucking happened to our son, our Andy? That I suffer and need your support? No, you just let people come around and decide for me when to talk or when to shut up!
Others don’t need to know about this! Ye think I’m not suffering?
Well if you do, you hide it very well!
I’m just not showing it because it’s not people’s concern!
No it’s ours, but you’re acting like…
Like what? Fucking say it!
Like he never happened! I yelled
A little silence settled in.
In a way he didn’t.
For fuck’s sake Noel, do you even hear yourself?! I said, breaking down even more
We’ll try again!
You think that’s what I want to hear right now?! I don’t even know if I want to try again, especially with a man who doesn’t seem to care about his son or isn’t even grieving him.
Don’t ye dare saying that!
Please, just go back to your people. I need to be alone. I need to think.
About what?
Our future.
I just… need to think.
He sighed and left the room, slamming the door.
Is this alcoholic woman was who I wanted to become? Is this grieving and depressed woman was who I was supposed to be?
No, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t like me. I couldn’t and wouldn’t be.
After drinking the whole bottle and throwing up, I fell asleep like a little shit on the sofa in Noel’s studio.
*
The next morning, the smell of tea and someone caressing my face woke me up.
Mornin’ love. Noel said as I opened my eyes
Mornin’. I answered, shitfaced
I made ye a cuppa. He answered, handing it to me
Thanks.
I took it and drank. I was dehydrated. Noel cleared his throat.
So hum… did ye think well?
I looked at him with a jaded look.
Yeah I did. But you know, you can do better to try to have a chat with me.
Yea, ye’re right, soz. It’s just that… I don’t know how to act after being such a jerk last night.
Well I understood that. And to give you a proper answer, yes, I thought a lot.
And ye’re going to break up with me and leave, don’t ye? He said, lowering his head, so I wouldn’t see his eyes fill up with tears
I grabbed his face in my hands.
No Noel, I’m not planning to. But… I think we both need some space for a few. You have an album to finish, and we both need to get better. To heal. I’m going to leave for a few. I’ll be at Liam and Patsy’s. She has a kid so I think she might understand what I’m going through, and she’ll have good advice and methods to get better. By your side you also need to work on this. I know Andy’s death shook you too and that you’re suffering but you’re trying to make it all disappear with parties and drugs and alcohol.
Yea, ye’re right. He said, tears running down his face
I kissed him.
I think it might be the solution for us. We tried to face the situation, but it was too painful for us. It’ll save us, for a better future.
Noel sighed.
How long? He asked
I don’t know. The time we need to heal.
I can’t live without ye, and I need ye to heal Y/N.
I can’t live without you neither, that’s why I’m doing this. Or it will tear us apart. I’m not letting you go again.
Neither do I. Never.
I prepared a suitcase with the stuff I needed and left, kissing Noel’s cheek.
Don’t forget that I love you. I said before leaving
I won’t. And I hope you won’t too.
I gave him a weak smile, closed the door and walked to the nearest tube station.
*
When I rang at Liam’s door, a little boy opened the door.
Hello! He said, smiling
Oh hey there, you must be James! Is your mam here?
Yes, but who are you? He asked
I’m Y/N, I’m a friend.
Mommy! Y/N’s here! He shouted
Y/N? She answered, surprised
She came out of the kitchen, flour all over her clothes, and a bit on her cheek.
Heya! I said, embarrassed
Hey, what are you doing here?
I…um…
She saw my suitcase.
Come in, we’ll have a chat. I’m preparing a cake if you want to join. It’s good therapy.
She took my suitcase, putting it in the living room, and put cartoons for James to watch while we both went to the kitchen.
You did a good job with your son. He’s so cute, polite and careful.
Yes I know. Well his father also did a great job.
He’s Jim Kerr’ son, right?
Yup. She answered, insisting on the letter P
Well you raised him well.
Thank you.
A silence settled in. Patsy saw my sad look.
What’s going on in this little head of yours darling? She asked
Well huh… I hope you and Liam will accept to let me stay here for a bit… I know I came unannounced but…
Of course you will, you’re family. Now get to the main topic and mix the vanilla with the cream please. She interrupted me, handing me a bowl
I obliged and felt tears invade my eyes immediately.
Noel and I are not doing fine.
The opposite would have surprised me.
There are always people in the house, I don’t know most of ‘em. Noel is here, partying, alcohol and drugs never miss, he’s all touchy, smiling and laughing, but during the rare occasions we’re alone, he doesn’t talk to me or touches me, it’s like he’s even avoiding me…
I see…
And what happened yesterday was too much. I just… lost it. You know during Knebworth that I befriended Kate Moss. She was there yesterday. She made me feel like a fucking mardy get because when she asked how I was doing, I told her the truth. Noel told me to shut up, and Kate added the sentence she shouldn’t have said.
Which was?
“You should try to get through it”. I answered, imitating her
Oh shit.
So like I said, I just lost it. I got… so angry. I was mean and I escaped to Noel’s studio where I’m not supposed to go, it’s his space. But it was the only room I could go to be alone. And then Noel joined me and we argued. He told me the sentence I don’t want to hear. I’m not able to hear it yet. The famous “we’ll try again”. As if Andy never existed. So I got drunker, cried, threw up, thought and thought and thought again before passing out. And when thinking, I just saw who I was becoming, and I don’t like it. I don’t want to become this bloody alcoholic, this woman drowning her sorrow in liquid. So I told Noel that we need some time for ourselves, so our couple can get better. Because I love him so much Patsy. I don’t want us to be torn apart again…
Oh I know that you love him. And I understand. But you need to be at peace with your mind and body again. You were going to have a baby, that’s who Andy was. He was already a little human still growing in you, a person, you were excited, you wanted him. And just like that, he was taken away from you. You’re grieving. You’re grieving your son, who he was going to be, you’re grieving the mother you were about to be to him. And that’s perfectly normal. It’s as if you were grieving any loss A parent, a cousin, a cat… No one has to decide for you when it has to stop. But you have the power to do it, and for it, you need time. And of course you’re not done grieving only three months after. It’s common sense. Only a mother, even when she was a mum to be and technically in her heart, already a mum can understand this kind of grief.
She said everything. I felt less crazy. My situation was beyond normal. I broke down and she took me in her arms.
Thank you… I said
For what? For saying the truth?
Yes. Everyone except my mum, Peggy and you made me feel it wasn’t normal.
But it is. And Noel is also grieving. You both tried to face it but it’s too painful and you need to take time for yourselves.
That’s what I think, yes.
And you’re goddamn right.
*
When Liam was back home, we chatted, us three. It felt good to be understood. He wasn’t happy with his brother’s behaviour.
Fucking scouse schlepper. I know I can be a pain in the ass most of the time, me. But I would never behave like that. I don’t think he really remembers what our mam has been through. I know it’s something else, but I remember the nights where we could hear her scrinkin’ ‘cause she was struggling to make ends meet, to keep a roof over our heads, to feed us, to raise us despite all the shite we were doing and problems we were bringing her. From the moment she knew she was pregnant with each of us three, she loved us and already was our mam. She was so fucking scared of losing us and that the social services would come and take us away from her.
I already know all that Li’.
I know, it’s just to say that his behaviour towards ye has been fucking rank. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers where he fucking comes from.
He’s hurt too Li’…
He maybe is. But what is it right, is that he’s being a teetotal arsehole. Anyway. Ye know ye can stay here as long as you want, ye’re me sister Y/N. But I think ye need holidays. Like in Spain or summat like that, under the sun. Somewhere where ye’ll feel godlike.
And I’ll accompany you. Patsy added
It would be great, but I don’t earn enough for that.
I’ll pay everything fer ye.
Oh come on cock, you’re not going to…
I will. Ye saved me life countless of times Y/N. Let me do the same fer ye.
*
Patsy and I left two days after, when James went back to his father’s. We went to Malaga, in the south of Spain. It was sunny and hot. We would stay there for a full month. Sat on the terrace of the rented house on the hill, I was admiring the landscapes around. I could see the mere horizon and the silhouette of the African continent that wasn’t so far.
Have you ever been to Africa? I asked
Not yet, but I hope one day I will. Patsy answered
Me too. I always imagine the Lions, elephants, zebras or giraffes and the Saharan desert like it is told to us when we’re young folks, when you learn it at school or when you see it on TV. But I think there’s so much more to see.
Oh there is! What we’re learning or are always told is that the Saharan desert is only sand, but in truth it’s mainly rocky.
I know! In fact, us Europeans don’t know much about Africa. You and I should go together one day.
With pleasure! Oh get ready! She said, looking at her watch
Ready for what?
To get pampered! We’ve got spa and massages.
Wait, what the… Did Liam also pay that?
Yeah he did.
But it must be so expensive!
He just wants you to heal and feel better.
A massage won’t heal me. It always feels good though. But I’m still going to fucking kill him.
*
Three weeks later, the owner of the rented house came to give me a package. I opened it. I was surprised to find a CD with a word. It was from Noel. I could recognize his handwriting.
“Finally finished this song, It’ll be on the album. Please, give it a go. I love you with all my being and beyond. Tenderly, your Noely.”
On the CD was written the title. “Stand by me (mustique demo)”
I first heard the song in 1994 during a soundcheck in Japan.
I went to the living room where a CD player was. I put it in and pressed on play.
Patsy heard the intro of the song and sat on the stairs.
Is that… she started
Yup, a new song. It’s an Avant premiere.
It seems to be a special one since it was Noel who sent it to you, am I wrong?
No you’re not. And indeed, I think it might be one, yeah.
“ Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday I've got a lot of things to learn Said I would and I'll be leaving one day Before my heart starts to burn”
What does he mean? Patsy asked
After Noel saved me from Kenneth, he took care of me. Peggy tried to give him some advice to cook us meals to make sure we were eating properly. One day he cooked us a Sunday roast and it led to food poisoning. We vomited for two days. After that we came back to pot noodles.
Oh!
And then, the chorus.
“Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows Yeah, nobody knows, the way it's gonna be” 
I started crying. Noel was really scared to lose me. He was really scared I would leave him. But I wouldn’t.
Hey, are you okay? Patsy asked, when she saw my tears
Yeah, just got a bit emotional that’s all.
Oh, come here. She said, opening her arms to me
I found refuge in them.
“If you're leaving will you take me with you? I'm tired of talking on my phone There is one thing I can never give you My heart will never be your home”
Here he’s alluding to when we were first together, when he left for tour with the Inspiral carpets. We were calling each other everyday but it wasn’t enough to save our couple. He’s also talking about the fact we’re both clawing to our independence and a certain freedom. That’s even why he doesn’t want me to hang around in his studio at home and it’s perfectly understandable. Though, he’s lying a bit too because our hearts are each other’s home.
He’s talented. He knows what he’s writing.
Well at least here, yes.
What do you mean?
I mean that cocaine and alcohol might have helped during the creation of some songs. Like for Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova for example. They are masterpieces, no one is gonna deny that, but the lyrics are nonsense. Everyone feels these songs in their heart and give them the meaning they want. But if you ask people what the lyrics mean after a dictionary, they’re going to look at you and answer “in fact, I don’t know shit”. I feel like Noel didn’t realise it yet.
You’re right. You really are. Your analysis is clever.
*
Two nights after, I was watching the movie Highlander, and I was singing out loud everytime a Queen song was coming in the movie.
At the middle of it, I heard a noise that wasn’t part of it. I paused the movie and listened closely. The noise happened again.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! I said to myself
Rocks at my window. And it surely wasn’t Patsy.
I opened the window and stepped back.
Not this time me love; I saw ye open the window. He said
I approached.
What the hell are you doing here Gallagher? I asked
I… I miss ye. I wanted to see this pretty face of yers.
Jeez! I miss you too Noel, but please, respect my choices, I told you I would be coming back when I’ll be ready.
And I know ye enough to tell this day will never come. I’m actually losing ye. I can’t let that happen. Can I come in? I have two gifts for ye.
I hesitated.
No, Patsy might be sleeping. Wait for me, I’m coming to you. Just let me put on a jacket.
I couldn’t find my jacket, so I grabbed a plaid and put it on my shoulders. I went downstairs and opened the door. Here he was, standing.
Hey beautiful. He said
Hey. I answered
I took him in my arms and held him tight. I missed him too, but a part of me was still desperate because of what happened to us and because of what he told me.
Do ye… want to take a walk? I t could be good, and we could chat? He asked
Yeah, that’s a good idea. There’s a small forest in there. I said, indicating my left
I closed the front door behind me, and we started walking.
So… how are ye doing? He asked, not knowing where to start
I’m okay. Trying to get better. What about you?
I’m fine. I’m working a lot, so it doesn’t give me time to… think about it.
About him, Noel, not about it. Just say things as they are. What happened to us? Before Andy, we could communicate and say things as they were…
I didn’t mean “it” love. I just didn’t know if ye were ready to hear me say “him”.
Ready or not, he was our son Noel. Not just an object. I just don’t know how you function on this one.
Well I’m still coping with it, me. I knew ye never meant to sound selfish because I know ye’re not. But it shattered me too Y/N. And I didn’t know how to talk about Andy without making ye scrink, knowing it was already what ye were doing before sleeping and when waking up. It broke me heart to know our son died, and yer cries were breaking it more. He’s gone and there’s nothing more we can do.
But since it shattered you that much Noel, why did you say “we’ll try again” when you’re apparently grieving him? And why not talking about this with our supposed friends who are invading your house everyday?
Because they wouldn’t understand. Only us two know what it is and what it feels like. And I’m soz fer saying we’ll try again. It’s a sensitive topic fer us both and I want us to get through it. And we will, with time. Ye’re right we need to talk about Andy. And when I was telling ye I was starting to lose ye, I was right. Ye don’t call our home “our house” but mine. And if I didn’t come here, I’m sure you would never come back, because you’ll think we wouldn’t talk about Andy. We have lost a baby, that’s true. But I want this event to make our couple stronger. I want to marry ye, no matter what and have a family with ye.
I chuckled.
Noel, what you’re saying is beautiful, but you’re oh so blind. I answered
And why so?
You haven’t touched me in months! When we hugged a few minutes ago it was the first time since October! You haven’t kissed me. When I was scrinkin’, you were downstairs with your buds, drinking and snorting cocaine! Words are beautiful, but what about acts?
A silence settled in.
Sex isn’t what ye need when ye’ve lost…
Oh shut your cake ole. Stop finding excuses.
Ye’re right, I fucked up and I apologize. And don’t think I hold ye responsible fer Andy because it’s not yer fault. I know ye enough to know ye feel guilty. So please, don’t.
I think I needed to hear this. Because he was right. I felt guilty deep inside. And I needed him more than that. It just couldn’t and wouldn’t go like this. Not without his support.
Promise me.
Promise what?
That’s you’ll finally support me.
That’s why I’m here. And also to give ye this.
As we arrived in the dark forest, Noel took out too things of his pocket. The first was a medallion with Andy’s hand imprint. He insisted on doing it after his death. Just this should have made me understand he was in pain too. He put the necklace around my neck. Tears invaded my eyes.
Thank you. I said
He showed me his neck. He had the same.
He’s with us both.
The second gift was my engagement ring that I forgot in London.
And also this because I can’t let ye forget we’re a fucking team and I still really want to marry ye. I’ll support ye no matter what. I love ye Y/N. I fucking love ye beyond anything. We can get through it. I’ve been an arsehole and I’m so soz, because ye know this is not who I really am.
I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him. I just brought my lips to his and held him as tight as I could. He kissed me back and did the same. I started peppering his neck with kisses and he gasped. He wrapped his arms around my waist. When I stopped, I guided his body to the grass. He sat down, and I hovered him, kissing him again. I put my hands on both sides of his face, while he wrapped his arms around me again. I quickly felt him get hard under me.
Noel…
I want ye too Y/N. I need ye. Touch me… He answered
I unbuckled, unzipped and unbuttoned his trousers. I put my hand on his hard bulge and started massaging it.
He moaned lowly, before squeezing my ass and kissing my neck.
He stopped my hand and pushed me away before putting the plaid I had on my shoulders away and sliding down my nightdress off. He looked at my body.
Ye’re so goddamn beautiful. I hope ye know it.
And so are you, handsome.
I helped him get rid of his jacket and tee before dealing with his jeans and boxers.
When we were both naked, he started kissing me again, putting me on top of him again.
Tell me… He said
Tell you what?
Tell me what ye want me to do and I’ll do it.
You know what I want.
I’d like to hear it. I need to hear it.
I put my mouth near his hear.
I want you to make love to me Noely.
He took his member in his hand and guided himself inside me.
We both moaned in unison.
Are ye okay?
I haven’t felt this good in months. I answered
He started rolling his hips against mine, as I put my arms around his neck, enjoying the heat and the passion of our reunion. It as slow and tender. What we both needed.
Oh god… yes… Noel moaned
It was as if our lives depended on it. Our hands were roaming on each other’s body.
It was strong. It was powerful. Full of love.
I love you Noel. I said between moans
He went deeper with his thrusts, making me moan loudly as he touched my G-spot. I felt his arms getting tighter around me.
Our moans and the sound of our bodies slapping against each other were filling the forest and slightly echoing.
I felt myself getting closer to my orgasm as Noel’s member hit my sweet spot everytime. My walls were contracting around him, causing him to lose the rhythm of his movements.
Give it to us, love. Make us cum. Ye know we need it. Please.
I arched my back to give him a better angle, his hands on it.
He panted in my mouth, his eyes closed, his face slightly contorsioning with pleasure.
It was all I needed to be thrown over the edge. It felt so intense that tears invaded my eyes again, and sobs, sobs of pleasure mixed with moans took over.
A familiar coil exploded in my lower stomach, as I shut my eyes, tears spilling from them, my insides convulsing around Noel’s manhood.
I didn’t know it was as intense for me that it was for Noel, who cried out, sobbed, and finally groaned in pleasure, before emptying himself inside me.
My head fell in the crook of his neck, that was wet with sweat and… tears?
I looked at him. He was crying, just like me.
You scrinkin’? I asked, catching my breath
Yea… He answered
Why?
Because it was too much. And because I love ye so fucking much I would die without ye. I was so scared to lose ye again.
We’re scrinkin’ for the same thing.
Good. Means we’re connected.
He softened inside me, so I pulled out. We lay next to each other in the grass, Noel covering us with the plaid.
I really want to marry ye. Let’s do it when the occasion will let us.
I agree on that.
But let’s be clear on summat. I’m not doing or saying this to make ye me property or because I’m scared to lose ye. Ye’ll always belong to yerself. I’m doing and saying this because I love ye, I want us when the time will come again to have our family, and I want ye to stand by me.
And I will. Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be, huh?
He smiled, knowing now that I listened to the song.
No, nobody knows. But at least, we’ll be together.
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