Tumgik
#and every time i realize i’ve lived well over half my life without her i go a little bit insane bc that just doesn’t feel right
steviescrystals · 4 months
Text
there is no feeling worse in the world than missing your grandma :/
#she died two months before my eighth birthday#and every time i realize i’ve lived well over half my life without her i go a little bit insane bc that just doesn’t feel right#like soooo many of my favorite memories are with her how is it possible she was only in my life for less than eight years#my grandpas on both sides died before i was born so all i’ve ever had is my grandmas#and there’s also the horrible guilt i feel all the time knowing my other grandma is still alive but i rarely ever see her#but when i was a kid she lived an hour and a half away from us and this grandma lived around the corner#so we saw her all the time and every christmas fourth of july etc that whole side of my extended family would all go to her house#she moved into that house when my mom was 2 years old and lived there for the rest of her life so 40 years#and when she went into hospice care her one request was to die in that house surrounded by her kids and grandkids so that’s what happened#my parents bought the house after she died but we lived there for less than 2 years before moving to arizona#they’re both from colorado but they met in arizona and me and my sisters were born here#and the main reason we moved back to colorado in the first place was to be near her#but when we moved again my parents sold the house to our neighbors who had two daughters that my sisters and i grew up with#and they’re still our family friends to this day and we used to go on trips to national parks together every summer#we didn’t see them for maybe five years but then two summers ago their older daughter got married and we went to her wedding#which got us talking about how long it had been since our last trip so we went on another one last summer#this has turned into a tangent but it just makes me so happy that they’re still in our lives#and this great family we’ve known almost my entire life is living in my grandma’s house#she had a pool in her backyard which is super common here in az but not so much in colorado#and she let us invite these girls over all the time to swim so they grew up spending almost as much time in that house as we did#last time we were in colorado we went to have dinner with them and swim and it was like being transported back to my childhood#that house is just so special to me and i felt so blessed to be able to go back there since this family bought it instead of strangers#in a perfect world everything would align in a way that would let me buy it when i’m older and have my own family there#i’ve never had a strong attachment to any other house we’ve lived in but that one will always be my grandma’s house in my mind#i just love and miss her so much she was the most amazing grandma i ever could have asked for#my mom still has a lot of her childhood friends on facebook and whenever she would post pictures of me and my sisters as kids#everyone would comment that i looked exactly like my grandma did when she was a kid and that makes me so so happy#anyway. idk. i just miss her sm she was an angel and i’m so happy she was such a big part of my childhood#lj.txt
0 notes
habken · 9 months
Note
oh my gosh fellow animation student !! I love learning about other people's art school experience, if you'd be willing to share? I think the diversity of assignments and teaching styles and focuses is cool 🩷 love your art as well !!
Yeah I can share a bit ! I’ve really enjoyed the program so far, I think I’ve learned a lot and I’ve gotten the chance to use programs I wouldn’t have access to usually!
First semester I had 9 classes (I’m counting story lab + lecture as two separate ones) and it was honestly pretty difficult to keep up with the workload, especially because I was still finishing up zine work. I had so many assignments, there were many weeks I’d have something due everyday, sometimes multiple things in the same day, so time management was a big struggle and I ended up having to sacrifice the amount of drawing I did for fun and for socmed </3 I think that was the biggest bummer cause it meant I lost both what helped me relieve stress and something that made me happy :/
While the work was intense and time consuming, I really did enjoy what I was making for each class. My favourite classes were character design, storyboarding, and animation. I felt like they were the ones I did best in and I realized loved my animation teacher her classes were really fun and I laughed a lot lol. I also really enjoyed my life drawing class, I have a lot of respect for my teacher, he marked harshly but I learned so much under him and my life drawing skills have improved a lot since september. He also collects bones and brought them in and it was super cool. He told us all the stories of were he’d picked them up, like asking farmers or finding roadkill and cleaning them.
Overall in each class, I really appreciated the critique I’ve gotten and I feel like I’ve really improved! I actually dropped out of art school before and one of the main reasons was because I felt like I wasn’t really getting anything out of the program. My stuff was nowhere near perfect but I was one of the better students so teachers used my stuff as an example rather than see me as a student that also was there to learn. I hated that so I left, and I’m really happy I don’t feel that way in the program I’m in now!
What I will say though is one of the hardest lessons to learn is that you can’t go 100% on every single thing, it’s just straight up impossible unless you don’t take care of yourself and get no sleep. It sucks because you want to do your best and be amazing at everything, but an assignment that’s half assed is better than handing in nothing at all and also better than permanently hurting yourself because you push through the pain and don’t allow yourself any rest.
One of the things that sucked the most assignment wise was my bone portfolio for life drawing, I had so much planned out and I really wanted to do amazing, but I had to cut a lot out to get it done on time, and so the finished project was lacking a lot. I got a decent mark for it, but personally I know it could’ve been so much better, and I just have to live with the sacrifice I made so I could get all my work done on time lol
I don’t want to share too much more about the assignments I did, but I was really proud of my work in my character design class and also my last storyboard assignment, where we took part of a script and made new boards based on it. I got a lot of compliments from the teacher about my attention to detail with subtle and human actions. I’m happy cause that’s the kind of stuff I love portraying and love seeing in films haha.
One other thing is I was so close to failing layout, the last two assignments I left until the very end and almost didn’t get them in one time before teacher’s grades were due, and without them I would’ve failed the class. As it stands, I got over a 90 average so the two assignments made a big difference lmao.
Sorry this was so long lol
27 notes · View notes
aajjks · 8 months
Note
TC!Jungkook
You can’t bathe in his blood just yet but maybe being bathed in my love would help, just a little. I’m scared Jungkook. This is the first time I’ve seen you scared over a threat that wasn’t given by me. I know you’re scared but there’s not much I can physically do to keep you safe but I’d lay my life down on the line for you. You’re not just a King to me up you’re my life partner, my best friend, my comfort. I won’t be able to live without you. That what scares me more than this ghost guy. What makes me feel better is taking care of my husband. Knowing you’re safe, fed, and taken care of by me specifically. You can take care of everything tomorrow. You’ll find him before het gets to you. You always do. So please let me calm down and take care of you. Come on baby.
*The Queen gently pulls her husband’s hand to get him to stand up. After giving him a big smack on the lips she leads him to their shared bathroom where she sits him down onto the toilet. She turns to run a warm bath for the stressed out man whose eyes have tracked her every movement. She slowly stands up and gently removes his clothing while holding eye contact with her husband. The amount of vulnerability she sees shinning in his eyes almost makes her tear up. The eye contact is only broken once Jungkook sinks into the hot water and watches as his beautiful wife slips behind him from outside of the tub. From gently washing his body with the soft rag to washing the soap out of his hair to letting him lean his head on her clothed shoulder. Speaking as gentle, loving, and quiet as her heavenly voice can be, she begins to speak to him after an hour of silence.”
Feel better, my highness? Hm, muah. I love you. Your hair smells so good. You’re still not completely relax baby… Will you let me help you a little bit more? *The Queen quietly asks as she begins to rub her hands from his shoulders, down his abs, and halting just before his clean, shaven, groin. Taking his soft whimper as a sign to keep going, she gently grasps his hardening cock.*
My big, strong husband. You always make me so happy, so proud… Am I making you feel good, baby? You sound like a dream. This is my favorite thing to do, you know… You always make me feel good, satisfied… Full…You let me turn my brain off while you take care of me. You were made for me Jungkook. You’ve always known that though. Just took me so long to realize that but I’ll never be happier than the moment I came to the realization that you were hand crafter for me and me only. You’re about to cum, I can feel it… I know my man’s body so well… It’s okay baby, let it go. You’re safe. I’m right here with you. I’ll always be with you Jungkook.
*His wife’s voice is just one of many reasons he’s never able to last so long. Whether it’s her moaning or simply her laughing or just her rambling, he will never get tired of listening to her. The soft kisses on the corner of his mouth, hand gripping the other side of his face, the words of affection, the feeling of her clothed breast on his shoulder blades, her smell, her hand wrapped around his cock, milking him into overstimulation is all just so much for him. After his amazing bliss, he can feel his eyelids getting heavy. All of the stress is catching up to him after his wife gently forced a hard orgasm out of him. Getting the sleep man out of the tub, dried off, and dressed in royal blue sleepwear was harder than she thought it would be. Having a man half your weight leaning on you isn’t the easiest task. After it’s all said and done she gently lays him down in their shared bed before slipping away to put on her matching royal blue sleepwear. A habit both have, matching whatever the other’s wearing.*
Hey handsome, stay awake for just a little longer. You haven’t ate at all today which isn’t healthy. I’m going to go get us both something to eat since we misses breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You just lay here and relax and I’ll be right back.
“My love… yn I love you so much I have always loved you so so much…. You always know how to make me feel so good…. My baby… I’d rather die than to evet let you go… you just have me the most amazing orgasm of my life- you make me feel so big, strong and sexy yn… I don’t know if that’s possible but I just fall for you every single day and every second- I love you so much… please never leave me because you may be able to live without me but I really can’t- I’ll die without you- y-yn I’m nothing without you… you’re my strength and my soul. My pretty wife…. You made me feel so good that I’m still so hard…. I just want to stay inside you forever because that is the only place I feel so safe…
My love- my wife.. I’ll protect you until the day I die- I’ll die for you yn, I hope you know that.”
10 notes · View notes
amessageonthewind · 7 months
Text
New Horizons
Pairing: Connor/Hannah 1 year after being married.
Word Count: 1360
My half of my art trade with @nerdstreak
Skylines had quickly become a favourite of the Anderson household. Well, more accurately the love for them had been reignited once new life had taken residence in the household that had been previously haunted by the natural oppressive presence of grief, blame, and guilt. The solitude only amplified the suffocating nature of such a haunting.
The home was plagued by solitude no longer, now that Lieutenant Hank Anderson had acquired (though, more accurately adopted) two androids. Something he never thought he’d ever do.
Not until he’d met Connor and Hannah. It was a strange set of circumstances he’d found himself in and he had no choice but to deal with them, though Connor was way more of a pain in the ass. Actually…Hannah was nothing but a sweetheart, to be frank. The fact that she was his android for a while did make him a bit uncomfortable, but once she had deviated and still chose to stay with him in his home, he’d felt not even an echo of that discomfort in quite some time.
Now, these two were like family. They’d only been a part of the lieutenant’s life for a comparatively short time, but their inclusion in it left nothing left to be desired for someone as weathered as he was. For a while, the Anderson household was completely devoid of community. And now, community was all it ever saw.
Case and point, Riverside Park. What was once a painful reminder of the loss that Hank had suffered had now become a place of new beginnings. Hannah was standing by the railings of the park, easel set up and painting the skyline. She was experimenting with painting a picture using one colour in various shades and saturations while including whatever fleeting thoughts pass through her mind during the painting process. She may have been an android designed to copy art pieces by the man who previously owned her, but her artistic merit could not be understated…and she had only grown more and more skilled every day.
It had been roughly a year since Hannah and Connor had gotten married, Markus having officiated the wedding and Hank being proud to be asked to walk her down the aisle. Androids were just starting out, developing their own distinct culture, customs, and traditions all on their own. Some of them borrowed from human culture – after all, humans did create them and maybe over time, androids would become more and more divorced from human culture as they began to properly evolve and grow on their own – while others adamantly refused to.
Hank couldn’t possibly keep up with all of it, interesting though it was, but he was perfectly content supporting the pair of them.
On the bench, Hank and Connor were both contentedly observing Hannah while she painted. He was enjoying the atmosphere and the sounds of the hustle and bustle of the park and the bridge in the distance. Meanwhile Connor’s eyes were squarely on his wife. He was a man who valued details, as per his function and his naturally curious personality. It was hard not to take in every detail of his wife, the furrow of her brow and the focus in her eyes, every deliberate stroke of her brush delivered through avenue of her delicate hands.
And, of course, the art piece itself, a picture pulled from her mind’s eye so complex and unknown even to herself, like many androids who were living in this new world of deviancy and free will. Every detail and fleeting thought depicted on the canvas told him of everything that went on around and even inside Hannah.
Even without speaking, his world expanded every time he even so much looked at her. It was easy for Connor to sink into it as he gazed at her. So much so that he almost didn’t realize that Hank was speaking to him. “I’m sorry?”
“Jeez, I’m not used to you actually getting distracted. But it’s been a long time since I’ve seen people look at each other the way you two do, so I can’t really complain.” Hank gruffly joked, a jovial tone in his voice as he chuckled in affectionate amusement at the android he’d come to see as a son. “I was just asking if you and Hannah thought about maybe going on a late honeymoon or something since you two got hitched.”
Connor tilted his head a bit. He heard of the concept and he was aware of it, but he had never really considered it personally. It sounded pleasant, upon reflection. It just simply hadn’t crossed his mind until now. “We haven’t discussed it previously, why?”
Hank simply shrugged, pursing his lips underneath his grayed beard for a moment before he leaned back against the bench, pale eyes reflecting the colour of the sky cast back to it. “Just wondering. It’s not important or anything, it’s just…a nice thing to sorta go off on your own somewhere with your partner and not have to worry about any responsibilities or work and just be with them. Away from the rest of the world, y’know?” He replied. It had been a while since he’d even thought about his ex-wife and she’d been out of his life for so long that she was nothing more than a neutral footnote in his mind.
But, it was nice to actually have something of a reason to think about stuff like this. Hannah and Connor deserved to know all the nice parts of being in a relationship and being married. He just figured he’d float some options to them if they were interested. There weren’t a lot of travel options for androids, still, but they could probably plan something if they wanted to go for it. Hank could handle being alone better now than he used to, now that his house felt like a home, again.
Ruminating on the covert suggestion that Hank had offered, though hesitant to interrupt his wife, Connor got up from his seat and discreetly made his way towards her, hands folded neatly behind his back, thumb fiddling with the wedding finger snugly fit onto its respective finger. The very same one that glinted in the light on Hannah’s hand as she painted.
He was about to speak up to get her attention when he paused to observe her painting. Amongst the hues of blue were little shapes and silhouettes of everything that was going on around her – children running and playing with their families, birds, dogs, and of course…planes.
One of which was followed by a trail of little bright blue hearts that dotted the canvas brightest among all the hues and shades. Hannah, of course, was neither blind nor deaf. She had overheard Connor’s conversation with Hank on the park bench and a soft warm smile was gracing her lips as she set her brush down, turning to meet her beloved husband’s soft gaze.
Naturally, he knew instantly that she’d overheard him and patiently waited for her response. “I haven’t really thought about it much, myself. But…I think it’s a great idea. Just going off somewhere, you and me, and not having to worry about anything else. Just us for a little while. Don’t you?”
Gaze flitting between the beautiful azure canvas of the Detroit skyline dotted with all of the immediate experiences around her, he gave her his signature lopsided grin, reaching for her hand and bending down to kiss her forehead, a contented hum accompanying the affectionate and loving gesture. “I think so, too.”
Chuckling in satisfaction, Hank leaned back and crossed his arms, eyes grazing the skyline again. Man…this placed used to be somewhere so painful. Somewhere that reopened old scars. A place he used for the same purpose he used alcohol.
Now, it was a place that bandaged those wounds and allowed them to heal…and he owed it to these two. He might not live nearly as long as they would, especially at his age, but he had every confidence that they would live a long and happy life together.
So finally, he could say without a doubt that Hank Anderson would die a happy man.
7 notes · View notes
lifeontop · 1 year
Text
twelve chairs
An echoing room. A circle of chairs. A dozen people from all walks of life. There’s a lawyer. A dentist. A high school teacher. A cashier. A student. An Avenger. I don’t remember what the others do, their introductions have already been removed from my brain’s memory.
Someone (a feminine voice) is speaking. I can only register broken pieces of her speech. “…Wanda”. Without my permission, my voice joins the choir of “Hello Wanda” that rebounds off the walls of the worn down room. My eyes flitter to take in the surroundings. The room is small and bleak, the only decoration is a wooden cross on the wall. The white paint is peeling off the walls, revealing a layer of green paint underneath.
“I realized I couldn’t get through the day without my glass of red wine anymore.” I hear Wanda explain in the background. I’ve heard this story a hundred times before. Day after day, different people recount the same shameful story of how the thing they thought was their saving grace, the solution to all their problems, turned out to be their doom. It’s the story of so many women and men who were struggling to stay afloat and reached for the only thing that would help them survive. And when that very thing destroyed the lives and relationships they had fought so hard to build, they stuck to it, sinking deeper and deeper into their addiction.
My mind doesn’t stick around to hear Wanda's story. It’s no different than the lawyer’s story, they become undistinguishable after a while. With every mouth that utters the words “I couldn’t stop anymore”, the room seems to shrink, the walls closing in on me until they suffocate me and force me to escape to the outside world. For some reason, today my limbs don’t move, they stay seated on the wobbly iron chair.
I have been where my companions are. I have woken up in the morning with my brain screaming for the bottle. But I got over it. I changed. I dried myself out and rewired my brain until even thinking of taking one sip felt forbidden. And I was doing well. For five years, I was the only owner of my thoughts and feelings. Every word that left my mouth was mine. Every step taken, mine. And then, suddenly, it all came to a halt. Like someone had pulled the emergency break on my world. Half a bottle of vodka is all it took.
One sip. I feel fine. This isn’t so bad. Two sips, I won’t get drunk, I just want to loosen up and have a fun with my friends. Three sips. The voices in my head are growing quiet. The silence is blissful. Four sips. I can stop at anytime. Five sips. Why do I feel so nostalgic for this burning sensation that is spreading through my body? It keeps me warm, it makes me feel alive.
Six months pass by in a flash. The familiar warm feeling quickly becomes a heaviness that weighs down my body and strangles my thoughts. I get into more arguments. I fight with people I never want to fight with. I see the hurt and disappointment on my loved one’s faces. I am trying to stop. I can’t. I need someone to talk to, to confess my weakness. I don’t have anyone. The loneliness is driving me crazy.
I am ripped back to the present by someone calling my name. “Y/N! What is your story? Do you want to share with the group?”. Eleven pairs of eyes are staring at me, through me.
My story? My story is that of a person who made one bad choice, bringing out the worst version of themselves. It’s the story of someone who lost control and fell for their biggest fear. It’s the tale of a person that I don’t recognize when I gaze at my reflection in the mirror. A dark creature that I don’t want to be.
My mouth doesn’t open. My body finally awakens from it’s rigidity and I feel my legs carry me across the room, through the door and into the rainy afternoon that awaits outside. The doubt that has been clouding my thoughts for weeks seems to have dissipated. I know who I am. I am not an alcoholic. I am a person who drinks and struggles to stop. But I can and I will stop. I have done it before. I will do it again.
16 notes · View notes
teethpaste · 3 months
Text
my hearts gonna fucking split open when I finally get back to the states
I’ve been living in an alternate universe in Ireland for literally 31 days - half working (weird east coast hours at that - 2 - 10 pm) visiting my grandma every day, going to my uncles and playing with his newborn baby, going out to lunch with my ma and sister, walking home after every meal and hitting 20k steps per day, going to the pub or to friends houses each night for cards and a pint (sometimes 6). Life is simpler here. I feel full of love even though the joy is sharing a room with grief. What a time they can have housed in the same body.
I know after this weekend in Atlanta - where I’m alone, high, going out Saturday night with friends .. the grief is going to hit, and it’s going to hit hard. I’m going to miss my dad. And my grandma. And my dear friend moving to Canada. And my work project will kick off and feel like it’s swallowing me whole. And the weight of every bad thing that’s ever happened to me will just hang over me, like a fucking cloud. You’d think if I know I can see it coming, why can’t I prevent it?? I wish I knew
I’m not ready to go home
My grandma has pulled thru in a sheer absolute miracle. Doctors gave her two weeks max and here she is. Just kicking it with one collapsed lung, the working lung riddled with copd and cancer. After the two extra weeks I’ve been here, they finally lowered her oxygen. I can tell she is so scared. She won’t admit it. But she had her back turned to me today while I was brushing her hair and I could see her back and sides heaving in and out - struggling to breathe even while sitting still. She kept saying she feels hyper and when I kept prodding if she meant anxious, she finally admitted yes. I got the nurse to bring her Xanax to calm her nerves. She and my sister asked me to stay longer but I can’t. I’ve already been gone a month. It hurts me that I can’t stay and knowing that when I leave, this will very well likely be the last time I see her. I’m not ready for a world without her in it. It was different with my dad - by the time we realized he was in liver failure it was too late. I never got to have any “normal” last conversations with him. Everything I said to him in person, he was fucking out of it in full on sepsis - eyes dating around the room. He couldn’t respond to anything I was saying. The goodbyes and I love yous were one sided. But with my grandma - she knows what’s coming and how quickly it could be here. It’s been so strange and different visiting like old times sake - knowing these convos may be the last where she’s still normal self.
And I’m so used to having my alone time in Atlanta, but I’m not ready for that either. Like I’m so excited to see my people, and FaceTime those I love, and get back into routine. But it’s going to feel weird. In the grand scheme I know a month isn’t a long time to be away, but it sure feels like it right now.
2 notes · View notes
umichenginabroad · 6 months
Text
Madrid Week 7: Viva Italia (not america..?)
Hola a todxs :). Niko back here again with week 7’s blog of my study abroad experience in Madrid! Like I mentioned in last week’s blog, this last weekend I traveled to Italy, and this past weekend I was in Sevilla, Spain. My trip to Italy was particularly transformative and jam packed with personal reflection. Read on for the reflection, stay for the photos (and Italian food p*rn). This blogpost probably took the longest for me to write, and was honestly pretty difficult for me to put in words. I hope I captured my thoughts well, and I always welcome feedback and discussion to any and all readers (at any point in time!).
Argentina (but aren’t we talking about Italy?)
As I’ve mentioned before, the summer after freshman year, I studied for 6 weeks in Buenos Aires, Argentina. One particular weekend, I took a trip to Iguazu Falls — the largest waterfall in the Americas by volume, and one of the 7 natural wonders of the world.
Tumblr media
Long story short, I got onto a tour bus with a bunch of strangers from around the world, drove 15 hours across Argentina to get to the falls, randomly selected hostel room groups based on who was sitting nearby on the bus, and ended up in a group with 4 girls from Mexico, my travel buddy from the USA, and 1 girl from Italy.
We spent a wonderful weekend together seeing the waterfalls (barring a short-lived but intense spout of food poisoning after eating something funky at a Brazilian buffet), and formed the foundation of what could turn into lasting friendships. But, come Monday, we parted ways, not sure whether we would ever see each other again. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This trip was the first time I went into a travel situation without a true support system, and an important exercise in “trusting in the process” — and It helped me realize that I was capable of forming meaningful connections across language barriers, cultures, and in un-traditional social situations.
If it wasn’t obvious already, you might be able to see where this little backstory fits into my recent trip to Northern Italy. Before I departed for Spain in January, I sent a text to Gaia — the Italian friend I met in Iguazu — that I would be in Europe for the semester, and would love to see her at some point if the logistics work out.
Now we actually talk about Italy
Flash forward a few months, and well, the logistics worked out. Although our original plan was to go skiing in a small village in the Alps, we ended up being unable to due to weather issues. Instead, Gaia, her friend Camilla, and I took a tour of Northern Italy, visiting Turine, Asti, Moncalvo, and Milan. 
In a way, this trip was an even bigger exercise in trust — although this time, it was my gut I was trusting, not the process. I hadn’t seen Gaia in nearly 2 years, and the only other time we had met lasted just 3 short days. I was about to spend another 3 days with her — but this time, nearly every waking moment would be spent together.
For some reason, the thoughts of “what if we didn’t get along?”, “what if it was awkward?”, “what if we got on each other’s nerves?” — normal things to think in this situation — never crossed my mind. I trusted my gut: that Gaia was someone that I got on with in the past, and I had a feeling that the people we grew into over the past two years would mesh just as well.
So, I didn’t worry. And I was right not to. After a short period of hesitancy, we clicked. We spent the weekend learning about each other — both from a personal and cultural point of view.
And by the end of this trip, I felt culturally enriched. There’s a level of cultural intimacy (is that a term? Well now it is, I just coined it) that can only be experienced by being someone who has lived and breathed that culture for their whole life — something that I feel like I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing in my own heritage, first or second-hand.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
A short aside on heritage in the USA
Ethnically, I am half Italian, half Greek. My great grandparents immigrated to the USA from the south of Italy through Ellis island, raising my grandmother, who gave birth to my mom. 4 generations later, I feel more comfortable calling myself Italian-American than Italian. 
My mom’s side of the family was raised in northern New Jersey. I was raised Roman catholic, and I have 11 first cousins. Family gatherings are loud and boisterous, and people talk with their hands. My grandmother makes delicious Italian cookies called Pizzelles, and we call dish towels Mopinas (which isn’t even in the italian dictionary — it must have evolved on its own. Call it Englitalian [Italinglish? Coined.] ).
Tumblr media
And that’s about all I’ve got to hold onto of Italian culture. Although I have more contact with Greece through the Orthodox Christian community and my direct-immigrant grandparents, I’ve never felt particularly connected to either culture. I don’t speak either language, and up until this past summer (when I visited Greece), I’d never been to either country. 
People from the United States of America — especially, I think, those in the Northeast — place emphasis on their ethnic heritage that those from other countries around the world do not. Ask an American, and they’ll probably know where their blood comes from — if the records of their ancestor’s immigration do exist. Ask an Italian, or a Spaniard, and they probably will not. Odds are, in fact, that their blood will be just that: Italian, or Spanish. 
The USA is a country built on immigrants, and it continues to be so to this day — and to me, it somehow feels wrong to not know anything about your cultural background.
This is a weirdly complex topic — one that I’ve thought about a lot —but bear with me here (and keep in mind, this is all from my personal point of view, and I welcome all new perspectives! Feel free to send me a message to discuss🙂). I think that, in the more liberal sphere of American adolescents, it’s almost “bad” to not know anything about your heritage — especially among white people, which is a label that I identify with. The USA has done a lot of messed up stuff in the world, and I think this is true to an extent that young Americans feel a desire to distance themselves from their nationality. 
Instead, we grasp on to what we have that sets us apart from it — where our parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents come from. It gives us something to point to in conversations, something that lets us say “see, look, I’m not just a white-washed American, I’m cultured”, something to help us feel like we have more depth — especially in a country where everything feels like it comes from something else.
This is why I mentioned above that this is more common in the Northeast — although I can only truly speak on what I’ve experienced in Northern Virginia and in the University of Michigan. When I think of the term “melting pot”, I think of places like New York City. Southern states, and perhaps those in the West, have developed a culture that feels more unique, more distinctly American, and this is why (from my outside perspective) it seems like something more people feel proud of and claim as their own.
As I mentioned, this perspective comes from personal experience. And this is all something I’ve felt as a white American, at least 2 generations removed from my “mother countries”. After spending a weekend in Italy, I finally got a piece of that contact that I had always craved.
Italo-
Italian culture is just that — uniquely italian. Food, history, architecture, art — not only is it unique, but it is rich. From the first day that I spent with Gaia and Camilla, it was apparent that they felt a deep connection, pride, and understanding of their culture — and this is something that they graciously and enthusiastically shared with me.
I now have a greater — albeit limited — understanding of what it means to be Italian, in Italy. I learned about Italian espresso, when to have it (spoiler alert — any time of day is game), how to prepare it, and how it tastes. Some of my favorite moments of the trip were peacefully spent over the breakfast table in Gaia’s home, enjoying a light carb heavy breakfast and freshly brewed coffee.
We ate simple, delicious food at every restaurant we went to. The food was less extravagant than I expected it to be. Most of the meals were simple, with a focus on the ingredients and their preparation. Pastas, pizza, Milanese, Ragu, more pasta. Tiramisu, and gelato, too.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
We had a night out — first to aperitivo, then to dinner, then to a bar that was built in an old desecrated church, then to a cheesy karaoke bar where the whole place was singing old Italian songs at the top of their lungs — with a group of 12 in Gaia’s hometown, which was made up of friends stemming from her high school days. The biggest difference between the Italian dinner party and an American one — we took our time. There was a feeling of ease at the table. Nothing was rushed. We enjoyed each dish, each glass of wine, and over everything, enjoyed each other’s company. The focus was on the people and the conversation, not on what was to be ordered and how fast it came out. I hope to bring this rhythm back to Ann Arbor with me (but that may be more difficult than I think. See footnote 1 below*).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
We explored multiple Italian cities, and walked a TON. I learned an interesting perspective of Milan (which was a beautiful city) from Camilla’s boyfriend — Milan is Italy to Europe, and Milan is Europe to Italy. (See footnote 2**). The architecture was beautiful, and after a rainstorm, Milan looked magical. The ground was sparkling, reflecting the dramatically lit buildings of the city center in the puddles that gathered on the ground. I saw the Italian countryside, picturesque rolling hills backdropped by an epic sunlit cumulo-nimbus cloud.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I even learned a base of the Italian language (I probably said “Come si dice” 100 times) that will serve me well if and when I want to learn it in the future — or if I ever get my Italian citizenship and decide to move there. Guess only time will tell.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-americano
3 days is not a long period of time, but I can confidently say now that I understand a little better what it means to be Italian. I feel more connected to my cultural heritage — and in turn, I feel more connected than ever to my native culture in the USA.
It’s true that the USA has done a bunch of messed up stuff in the world. Imperialism, war crimes, political and economical extortion — the list goes on. But the longer I spend in Europe — the more I come into contact with different cultures, and understand foreign perspectives on the USA — the less these things feel like they’re inside a black box. Instead of avoiding these hard truths, I can face them head on — allowing me to acknowledge the bad and the good that comes with US culture.
A big critique I’ve heard abroad is that the United States has no culture of its own — but I don’t think that’s true. The USA is a place where global cultures collide, providing its citizens the opportunity to experience bits and pieces of the world and giving rise to unique elements born from this fusion.
Over the past 2 months, I’ve slowly shifted away from the feeling of shame that comes with being an American in Europe — and that’s thanks to a willingness to learn, adapt to, and accept cultures that I experience while I’m abroad (re: cultural humility, blogpost coming soon). Now, I’ll proudly say that I’m 50% Greek, 50% Italian, and 100% American. With my continuously evolving understanding of my individual parts (and all of the other cultures I come into contact with, especially Spain), I feel like I can better understand and contribute to that fusion, both in the melting pot of the United States, and as an international citizen in Europe — enriching the lives of myself and those I come into contact with.
Such is becoming “cultured” — a concept that has a bit of a pretentious connotation (IMO), but is worth striving for. I’ll be returning to Italy for spring break (Rome, Florence), so hopefully I’ll continue to develop this connection then. I also bookmarked in Google maps here all the places I visited in Italy this trip (and will do so in the next one) if you're considering taking a trip and want recommendations!
I planned on writing about Sevilla this week too, but I think this post has gone on long enough. I thoroughly enjoyed the different vibe it has from Spain, even through the rainy weather we experienced. 
As always, check out the image descriptions for more details on each one. I hope everyone has a great rest of their week, and see you back here next soon!
Hasta luego,
Niko Economos
Aerospace Engineering
Universidad Carlos III de Madrid
Madrid, Spain
* In Italy, and the rest of Europe, servers get paid fair wages. In the USA, it’s not required, because it’s expected that servers will make up the difference in tips. I worked as a server for 2 summers, and made $3.50 an hour. The amount of money I made in a night was directly correlated to the number of tables I turned over. As a result, I did my best to get orders in fast, food out faster, and clear the table as quickly as I could so that I could make more money. Until this fact changes, I think it’s hard to have the same no-rush Italian experience over dinner unless you’re really conscious of it. Personally, if I’m not feeling pressure from a server to leave quickly, I’m likely feeling a sense of guilt for staying too long and reducing their nightly wage, no matter how well I tip. Maybe home cooked meals are the answer, which I’ll hopefully be well practiced with next semester :)
**To Europeans, they look at Milan and see what they think of Italy. The world capital of fashion, beautiful architecture, prosperous and well known city. Italians look at Milan and see what they think of as Europe —highly international, intercultural, and as a result more gentrified and expensive. I found this to be really interesting. Is there a US city that fits this bill?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
clovercoin · 5 months
Photo
Tumblr media
CloverCoin Artpack 2024 March + Updates
[PATREON POST + ART PACK] Hey everyone... I see March is rounding the corner to being over and I realized I never actually make an official patreon post yet. A lot has been happening on our end / IRL. We recently found our we might need to move this summer... But thanks to a lot of back and forth between us and the new landlord we got a lease extension for 1 year to prepare our savings and safely move out to another place in town or around this town we are currently living in. After a lot of discussion between my husband and I, we're really struggling to find rental single family homes that fit our disability needs AND budget. Rent bubble in our area is about 70% more than our current rent which... is mind blowing. But we are determined! With further discussion we think we agree, we'd like to buy a house to make sure our needs are met and that we can take care of our senior dogs without having our lives uprooted without notice. So our belts are going to be really tight over the next year while we try to scrimp and save every penny to go towards our goal to purchase a house next year. That is scary but also so exciting! Wish us luck, we're going to need every lick of it to pull this off. ~~~ Other worse news... The reason why I've been struggling these past few weeks. My family has been reaching out to me and it's official. My mother has a terminal cancer diagnosis. I do not live near her, so I would like to budget a trip out to see her at some point this summer. We don't have any real time lines yet until we see how to reacts to chemo treatment. She's just started that this month. So that's been a weird tangle of emotions and talking with my siblings about what we expect out of all this. How we each can help in what ways we can. One of my older sisters is taking control of talking with the doctors and updating us since my mother is extremely avoidant about talking about her illnesses. At this time I won't be taking any time off from working and doing adopts/commissions. We need the money more than ever, even just to go fly or drive up to see her. But I will update on patreon/discord when I'm taking a week or so off to visit her. ~~~ More middling news? Our two senior dogs, Ollie and Junior, have been having little health scares this year. Feels like 2024 just started and so much has happened! Ollie has been diagnosed with a heart murmur and is on medication now to help treat it. Diet and life style changes as well to help him stay fit. Junior may have had a small seizure or stroke, for 2 days he was not able to stand or walk which really scared us. Both have been to the vet multiple times this year and are being watched VERY closely. I just hope nothing happens to them before we find them a new house to live in. (knocks on wood) ~~~ I myself am having some medical issues but... Just with everything going on I just haven't had time to assign myself with a new clinic and new gp. My new health insurance won't let me see the old one anymore and it's EXTREMELY disruptive to my whole life. So there's a chance my body might get a flat tire in the future, but I'll try to manage it accordingly. To end it all on a good note, I did finally finish my very last tooth filling / replacement and after a year and a half of constant dentist visits, my mouth is all fixed! Hooray!!!! Now we just have to tackle my jaw and TMJ problems haha. ~~~ I think... that's the big items of what's going on. Why I've been really absent online and for updates. Life just kinda had a weird downpour on us, but we're sorting it out. We signed a new lease. Prov is working very hard at his new job. The future is really scary for me right now and I'm really struggling. Please be patient with me while we go through these big life changes at this time. I'll be opening up new commission slots soon to start a monthly income to help with house savings. If anyone has pending commissions with me or trades, please never hesitate to DM me/poke me for updates. I've been a lot more disorganized more than usual lately and I am happy to give any updates or refunds as needed should anything come up that I can't handle. Sorry bout the long read everyone, but thank you so much for skimming through and keeping up with what's going on in my life. I've been desperately missing art more and more every day I spend away from it, so I look forward to sharing even more art with you all! Thank yo everyone for all your support! AJD . ART
5 notes · View notes
aethelredism · 2 years
Text
lodestar
When she wakes, it is to the last person on earth she expected to see sitting by her bedside.
for @aelflaeds <3
Aelswith x Uhtred post season 4
rated g
read it on ao3 if you wish
When she wakes, it is to the last person on earth she expected to see sitting by her bedside.
“Uhtred?” she whispers. 
The smile he gives her is unaccountably soft. “It’s me,” he says, and to her surprise, he strokes her hair. 
Aelswith wonders at this gentleness, and then she remembers. The clearing in the forest. The siege. The battle. Her children negotiating a peace with Sigtryggr, and then a blackness overtaking her.
“I fell,” she says, half a statement, half a question.
His smile fades. He nods, withdrawing his hand. “You did.”
Something about his demeanor tells her it was more than just a simple bout of weariness. “What is it?” Her heart sinks. “Am I dying?”
“No,” he says firmly. “But I believe someone tried to kill you.”
She shifts against her pillows, sitting up as much as she can without her head swimming. “Poison?”
He nods, his eyes flickering around the room as though there may be eavesdroppers. “The flowering plant in the courtyard. The one that brings death. Alfred told me of it once. One of the flowers was recently plucked.”
Aethelhelm. Who else could it be? She had told him and Aelflaed about the flowering plant, and fallen ill as soon as the siege had lifted. She and Aelflaed have never been friends, but she doubts Aelflaed is vicious enough to poison her.
Aethelhelm, on the other hand…
“You know who it was?” Uhtred asks, seeing the light of recognition in her eyes. 
She hesitates. “I suspect I know who. But it would be unwise to make an accusation so soon. Especially when that person…holds so much sway over my son.”
Uhtred’s jaw tightens. “If it is who I think it is, you are not safe here in Winchester, lady.”
“No…I do not think I am,” she is forced to agree. “But where else can I go?”
He surprises her again by taking her hand. “With me. Your son has given Aethelstan into my care. He wishes for me to raise him and protect him. Raise Aethelstan with me, lady, and I will protect you both.”
It gives her a warm feeling, the thought of raising another child of her and Alfred’s line. And she has to hand it to Uhtred, they would make a good pair, each tempering the other. Together, they would raise a worthy aetheling. Perhaps even a worthy king.
“It is a tempting offer,” she admits. “But I wonder at your concern, Uhtred. We have never been friends. Why do you invite me to live by your side now?” 
He is quiet for a long moment, the pads of his calloused fingers rough but comforting against hers. “Few things have been constant in my life,” he says at last. “I lost my home when I was a child. Every family I’ve ever known has died or turned from me over the years. But you…you have been there since I first came to Wessex. Your path has never changed; you have always wanted to make Alfred’s dream a reality.” He pauses. “We have not always been friends, it is true, but I have grown to care for you. I did not realize how much until Haesten and his men took you away.”
Her heart begins to beat faster. “What are you saying, Uhtred?”
He blows out a breath. “I am saying, lady, that I want you to live by my side because I could not stop thinking about you the whole time you were behind these walls. I want you to live by my side so I can protect you from men like Haesten, and Aethelhelm, and anyone else who wishes you harm. I want you to live by my side so I can keep you safe, and happy, and so we can raise Aethelstan to be the king that will rule a united England as Alfred always dreamed.”
A knot has formed in her throat at his words. She swallows, lifting her chin as haughtily as she is able. “Well. If you insist.”
His face splits into a grin. “You are as stubborn as ever.”
“I think you like it.”
“No,” he says, bringing her fingers to his lips with surprising tenderness. “I love it.”
6 notes · View notes
zenia-7 · 1 year
Text
Anthony now has a bit more to say in the last chapter of “Allow Me This”
The words were written but not posted until now
At the time of original posting I felt it was incomplete but life was busy and the feeling was not strong enough to make me wait because, well, life, but over time the feeling would not leave me alone and it got louder and louder until I finally paid attention and I wish it had been complete originally because I hate to have disappointed anyone
I have resolved that now
His words (she still says yes, fortunately):
“I love you, Kathani,” he whispers in her ear. “I have loved you since the moment we raced each other in that park. I’ve loved you every time we’ve been together and every time we’ve been apart."
They step face to face. He opens his mouth to speak again but his voice falters. “Kathani, I..."
She caresses his shoulder and it helps compose him. "I have never experienced such life-affirming grace as you have given me, and I have realized that I was but half a person before, living in dread and unhappiness, with a contorted concept of duty. Even now, I can feel you teasing away at the knots of misconception inside me, and I am eternally grateful, everlastingly in your debt. I know I am imperfect, but I will humble myself before you, so we might build a life together, one that truly suits us both, because I cannot imagine living my life without you.”
5 notes · View notes
gamma-gal-24 · 1 year
Note
LEAPS AT YOU. i live again i missed you!!! 😭 i’m sorry i’ve been gone for so long how have you been??? 💞
ALSO: for the heart prompt, perhaps a mutual pining kiss for bradley/stella??? 👀
    CATCHES YOU HUGS YOU SQUEEZES YOU YOU LIVE AGAIN!! IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU MY FRIEND!! I have missed you, too!! Things are going pretty well right now! I hope all is well for you, too! ^^ We’ll have to do some catching up soon! <3
And without any further delay,(because I am totally totally late already XD), here we go! ^^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
           Bradley x Stella (mutual pining <3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     It had been about three months since the two of them had first bumped into one another, and the two had been all but inseparable since. At first they simply had a knack for catching each other in passing, offering a little wave or, in Bradley’s case, a flirty grin. But very quickly they found themselves starting to go out of their way to “coincidently” be at the right place at the right time. Before either one knew it, they had established a schedule of sorts, without even meaning to. And neither one had truly realized what they had done.
    So here they were again. Every day at about two o’clock, Stella left her culinary class and went to sit outside by the water fountain. She never planned on it becoming a habit, but certain circumstances prohibited her from stopping this routine of sorts. And now that very circumstance stood leaning oh-so-cooly against her favorite spot, a skateboard under his arm and a pink daisy between his fingers.
     Oh, the smile that got him. And he looked up just in time to see it.
     To Bradley at least, Stella had one of those smiles that made the world feel right again. In a life full of endless competition, bad ideas, and drama, she had a way of hiding it all in a pretty little box somewhere behind her smiling eyes. And while he didn’t feel it was appropriate to say it, he loved that about her dearly. 
      Upon meeting her grinning gaze, he perked up with a dazzling one of his own. The sparks flitting around in each of their chests was invisible to the other, though bright and brilliant as they were. He offered her a slender hand, slightly scratched and red from a short fall he had taken off of his board a few hours before. He thought nothing of it. The scratches and scars he had acquired over his years of extreme sports had to be within the hundreds if not thousands. He was almost numb to it by now. Stella, however, saw the angry redness and torn skin on his palm and flinched back. She was afraid to touch it. What if it still hurt?
    Bradley cocked his head to the side, unsure of what the holdup was. 
   “Hey, what’s the matter, princess? I’m not gonna bite ya!” He chuckled, holding his hand out a little farther. Stella smiled softly back. Rather than slipping her hand into his like she always did, she cupped it between hers. “You scraped your hand today!” She pointed out, looking from his little wound to his eyes and back again. “Does it hurt?”
    Bradley laughed, a bright, musical noise on her ears. “No, are you kidding? I can’t even feel it!” He beamed, moving to throw his arm around her, pulling her close. “It’s cute that you worry, Honey, but it takes a lot more than a little scuff to hurt me much.”
     This tough city boy had Stella melting in his arm. Her face now a shade or two brighter than her pink tee-shirt. She felt silly, but oh so happy at that moment. “Well, if you’re sure.” She said, resting her head on his berry-clad shoulder. “Just promise you won’t let me accidentally hurt you worse than you hurt yourself on that board of yours.” 
      That earned her another sweet laugh from the Uppercrust. “Stella, you couldn’t hurt me if you tried.” He half-whispered, his face donning its signature self-assured smirk. “Now, since we’re both done with classes for the day and I don’t have anywhere to be, why don’t we take a walk? I know how much you like those dogwood trees down Frat Row.” 
      Now that was an offer she couldn’t refuse. He watched as her head popped up off of his shoulder, blue eyes lighting up at the proposition. That just made him feel all the better about himself, the smug punk. 
      “I’d love that! But… What if your friends see us? They won’t tease you too bad will they?” Stella asked, unsure of how the Gammas would take seeing their president hanging around with anybody but a social elite. Bradley however, shooed away the mere thought with a shake of his head. “The only thing they’ll be thinking is, “God, I wish that were me.” He smirked, giving her a squeeze and starting off their walk. Stella giggled into her hand, wrapping her free arm around the small of his back. “Ah yes, I’m sure they wish you would take them for walks through the flowers-” “That’s not what I meant, you Goof!” Bradley cut her off with a laugh. His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment just from the thought. “I think I’d rather sign myself up for war before I’d walk any of those idiots anywhere.” 
   Stella just laughed and shook her head. “Uh-huh, suuuure you would.~ No offense Bradley, but I think you’d change your mind as soon as they go to shave off that pretty hair of yours.” She giggled, proud of her rebuttal. Bradley conceded with a bow of his head. “Touche, Miss Harper, touche. Although…” He started, raising his head back up with a slick grin. “I didn’t realize you thought my hair was pretty!~”
    This battle of compliments, jokes, and flushed faces continued all the way to the start of Frat Row. 
     They stopped at the big sign off to the side of the road for just a moment. The pretty, blossoming spring trees swayed ever so softly in the light breeze, casting their pink and white petals all about. Stella just watched for a moment, completely enamored. Bradley did the same, only…
     It wasn’t the trees that captured his attention, nor was it them that brought on what had to be the sweetest smile he had ever worn. 
     Bradley had always prided himself on keeping the infectious sappiness of puppy-love out of his own reach. He messed around with girls for sure, but that was more of a status symbol than anything. A one-night fling for a frat party was a completely different world from what he felt now with this one girl. Slowly but surely, this sweet acquaintance, this friend, this crush had taken his one-man world and made room for two. It was a bittersweetness he’d come to love.
      As he sifted through his own thoughts, Bradley nearly hadn’t noticed Stella shifting her attention back to him, her smile sweet as ever, cheeks still pink. Smiling still himself, he put his thoughts on hold. Heaven knew they weren’t going anywhere. “So, shall we then?” He urged with a subtle bow, playing up the charms as per usual. 
     He had expected a brisk nod or maybe even a, “yes please,” but was instead met with a sudden anxiousness. She couldn’t look him in the eyes, and her smile had fallen. What was the matter? 
     “Hey… Everything okay, Stellz?” He asked, a faint, unfamiliar lurch of worry in his chest. Finally, Stella nodded, seemingly breaking herself out of her own thoughts just as he had. “Oh, y-yeah, I’m fine! I was just thinking is all…” Her bashful little face was just too sweet. “Oh? What were you thinking about?” Bradley asked, slipping his arm from around her shoulders, consequently causing hers to slip off of him.
     Now he stood between Stella and the trees. And oh, what a wonderful mistake that was. He had unknowingly stepped into what looked like a scene in a fairytale to poor Stella. This handsome young man with his gorgeous blue eyes and his stupid smug grin, a few stray flower petals blowing around behind him and landing in his hair- It was almost too beautiful for her to stand. He was like a prince in her eyes. A perfect prince charming.
    And now she had lost her voice in the wonder of it all. 
    “Um.. I- You just…” She stuttered and stumbled over herself, shifting from her left foot to her right. “Y-you look nice…” Was all she could spit out before her head dropped in shame. She would never ever be as smooth as Bradley.
    The smoothtalker in question bit back a chuckle, afraid that she might take his amusement as an insult. He took a deep breath to push back his giggles before gently taking her right cheek in his scratched-up hand, the same one she had refused to hold in fear of hurting him. 
    “Thank you, Stella, but I don’t look half as nice as you do right now.” He cooed, his thumb lightly grazing the soft skin under her eye. Those very eyes were wide and bright, obviously taken aback. “A-are you sure about that?” She half giggled, unconsciously taking a baby step closer to his body. He too caught himself slowly inching closer to her, the space between their noses narrowing. He hummed a quiet affirmation, the two of them inching towards closing the gap. Neither one was completely sure what they were doing, all they knew was that it felt right.
     Before they knew it, two pairs of eyes had fluttered closed, and two pairs of lips met in the middle in what could only be described as the perfect first kiss. Stella’s hand rested against the one caressing her cheek, the other finding its resting place on Bradley’s shoulder. Bradley pulled back with a smile. And just as he was about to lean back in, the two of them were interrupted but a mix of faux sniffles and chuckles. 
     Startled, they pried apart and snapped their heads to the side to see what was happening. Once they realized what they were seeing, the two of them grew pale in the face. 
       They had been caught… By the entire Gamma team. And Goofy was holding a camera.
5 notes · View notes
nightinghoul · 2 years
Text
Pinky
CW: Pet Death, descriptions of painful pet illness and death
On Saying Good-Bye
My Pinky passed away from a sudden illness two days ago, and my heart is broken. She picked up a stomach bug that I guess would have been just an annoyance for a larger dog, but Pinky was four pounds. She had never been sick before, not as long as we’d had her, anyway.
Tumblr media
Day one, she was throwing up and didn’t feel like eating, but she was walking around and seemed to be improving by the hour. My spouse and I have a lot of animal, and especially dog, experience. We knew that if we called the vet, they would say to keep her hydrated and bring her in if she threw up more, became lethargic, or if her respiration rate changed. That night, she was acting very lethargic, and we decided we needed to take her to the vet in the morning. I gave her some water, and put her by the bed to sleep (I was afraid if I put her in the bed, I’d roll over on her, or knock her off).
In the middle of the night, because I don't sleep well as a rule, I woke up and checked on her. She was not responding. Normally, she would growl and snap if anyone touched her, but she was just lying there. I tried to give her some water, but she was having trouble lifting her head to drink. I picked her up, and she had a seizure.
We drove to the 24 hour emergency vet, and they were closed. The 24 hour emergency vet is CLOSED on Wednesday mornings (12 - 10 AM). We called the one other 24 hour emergency vet. They were also closed for Wednesday morning. We didn't get the memo about not having pet emergencies on Wednesday mornings.
Now we were into Day 2. We waited for the vet to open at 7AM. When I walked in, they took her to the back immediately. By that point, she was totally unresponsive except for an occasional haunting wail like I’ve never heard a dog make in my life (and I worked in animal care for years.) They gave her pain meds and sedatives. 
She had pancreatitis, which never has a very good prognosis (although I’ve heard of one case of a friend’s dog pulling through.) By noon, she was throwing brain clots, and having multiple strokes and seizures. Our vet is a darling, wonderful, hopeful person, and just kept coming up with the best case scenario. If we did this and this and this, maybe we could get her to the point where she would live a bit longer, but she would still have blood clots. As long as we got her to an emergency vet every time she had a blood clot related stroke, maybe they could save her (as long as it wasn’t a Wednesday morning.) 
We didn’t talk about it for long. She was being tortured for a very slim chance to live a short, miserable life. It was time to let go.
Tumblr media
I sleep a lot during the day, because I don't sleep well at night. I wake up a lot, whether I napped during the day or not. I've been like this a long time. Anyway, I have a lot of broken sleep throughout the day and night. So, right now, every time I wake up, the loss of our little dog hits me all over again. I go through a half-dream bargaining sequence. I realize death is permanent, and curse under my breath.
Pinky was a terrible dog. I refuse to let fading memory convince me that she wasn't just awful, because that was part of her appeal. She had the worst temper of any dog I've ever met.
I guess when I say awful, I mean difficult. She was also wonderful. I think she really wished she could snuggle and be sweet without getting angry. The fact that she was always  working through that made me love her more, because I feel like she was trying really hard.
Like, when she would get upset, and I would say "Go to your growly bed!" She had a specific bed that she would go to and growl and be angry. Sometimes she would go there without anyone telling her, and if she was there, we knew not to bother her. The first year, I questioned our decision to keep her, time and time again. She bit me so hard with those sharp little razor teeth, so many times. She made me look so bad in front of strangers, but friends who got to spend time with her completely understood: she was complicated.
The house is so quiet without her. She was the main instigator of pandemonium in our household. Mealtimes, dogs barking down the street, doorbells - These things required thunderous acknowledgement. And, good lord, was she loud. The only thing louder than her bark now is her absence. I wish she had had a chance to fully heal from whatever it was that made her so angry. I wish she had gotten to live a normal lifespan. I wish didn't have to say goodbye all over again every time I open my eyes. You can spend a life-time loving and losing this way, and never get used to it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I wrote a poem about her last year, so I'm going to share it here. Please don't judge my free verse!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
https://poetizer.com/poem/2640600
1 note · View note
Text
I Can’t Lose You
Summary: Stephen and Y/n have never really seen eye to eye, but after Y/n attempts to risk her life during a mission Stephen realizes he could never live without her. Knowing Stephen, he'll manage to say everything but that to her until he finally has no choice but to spill his guts.
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: Mentions death, reader has bad habits, smoking, drinking, lots of swearing and bickering.
Rating: Pg-13
-Stephen Strange x reader -Fem pronouns -Fluff -Enemies to lovers? -Possible part 2?? -Possible eventual smut -Slow burn
AN: This is kinda my first fic that I’ve ever posted so pls be nice!! Don’t be shy to leave a little constructive criticism though.<3
"Y/N NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS. IT'LL KILL YOU!" Stephen shouted at her as she began to ascend until she was eye to eye with the mystical creature.
Stephen was panicking as his mind ran 100,000 miles per hour. He had to figure this out before Y/n did it for him. This wasn't how this mission was supposed to go. It was supposed to go Stephens way, per usual.
You looked over your shoulder at Stephen and Wong (mostly Wong, you didn't really get along with Stephen all that well) and gave them a half smile, as you knew how this would end if you killed this creature all on your own.
As you were just about to fly forward and pursue your attack, the creature had fallen through a portal Stephen had mustered up the strength to conjure.
While you descended back to the ground all you could do was frown in annoyance. Why does Stephen have to make every single call? He isn't even Sorcerer Supreme, You thought.
While walking over to Wong and Stephen, you were waiting for the snarky comment to come out of Stephen's mouth so you could absolutely tear into him. It may be petty, but arguing with Stephen was always so fun for you.
"You're welcome," Stephen snaps sarcastically.
There it is.
"I didn't ask you for your help Stephen, but of course, like in any other situation you had to be the one in control. G, I wonder why you've never been in a successful relationship," You quipped back bitter and sarcastic.
"Oh I'm sorry for saving your life. You could have died, you know that! If I hadn't taken control-"
"Alright that's enough, I don't need to hear this. Sort it out in the bedroom," Wong interrupted slightly raising his voice for the first few words. He couldn't stand your childish bickering and he also couldn't stand watching Stephen ignore his feelings for Y/n, vice versa. He knew they'd be happy together if one of them just opened up.
"LOL, actually laughing out loud, rolling on the floor, with tears in my eyes. Wong you should look into stand up comedy," Y/n snapped with the most stoic expression she could possibly wear while following the two men through a portal to The Sanctum.
"Really Wong, how could you assume my standards would ever be so low," Stephen said while staring daggers into Y/n with a shit eating grin on his face.
"Yeah ok Strange you're literally bitchless. You get zero play. I didn't even think you had standards," Y/n replied smiling at her comeback.
"And do you have a boyfriend? No, quite hypocritical of you actually," Stephen exclaimed rolling his eyes.
"Yeah alright, piss off Stephen. Go take a shower you leaky bag of shit," You said while stocking off to your bedroom.
"Don't talk shit if you can't take it back," He mumbled as he walked away almost disappointed in himself. He fell for Y/n long ago, yet she was always so cruel to him. He knew it wasn't just her though, he had said some harsh things now, and in the past.
For some reason you felt hurt, you wanted to cry, you wanted to feel sorry for yourself, but you wouldn't. You were overwhelmed with too many emotions. So, you thought about an old remedy that'll give you a good time and relax you all at once.
You changed into some casual clothes and conjured yourself a rolling tray. The anticipation was killing you as you rolled your joint. It's been a little while, you try to stick to smoking every now and then rather than every night, like your past self.
Wong was back at Kamar-Taj and Stephen was either buried in a book in the library or asleep, so you figured sparking it in your room wouldn't be much of a big deal.
You grabbed a lighter and started your session. It didn't last very long, you killed it in like 10 hits. You put everything away and sat on your floor against the wall, allowing your head to fall back and rest against it as well.
Although this remedy has never failed you, It's not doing a great job right now. You continued to replay past arguments between you and Stephen (and the most recent one) in your head, the words almost echoing.
Once you noticed the tears beginning to well up in your eyes you fell apart. It was all too much. Even though you 'hated' Stephen, you knew that wasn't the truth. You've used your words as a defense mechanism, too afraid to be vulnerable and open around such a powerful man. Not to mention, he obviously wants nothing to do with me, AND probably thinks im ugly considering i'm too 'low' for his standards.
Whatever, It's too late now to feel sorry about it. Impulsively, you grabbed your juul and your secretly-stashed bottle of titos. Surely, this'll help.. right?
As you took your third swig from the bottle the tears just kept falling. You were too emotional to be impaired right now, but you didn't really care. The alcohol hasn't hit you yet but you've definitely got a high going. Hurtful words Stephen has said to you, still ringing through your head.
Stephen had taken his shower and hadn't stopped thinking about you since your petty argument. He was finally going to man up and say something to you, tell you how he truly felt. He couldn’t keep pushing his feelings aside. Truly, he was mortified, absolutely terrified, of rejection or any awkward situation where you didn't reciprocate feelings. Luckily, Wong has been egging him on for a few months now giving him the confidence he needed.
As he finished rehearsing what he was going to say to you for the 10th time, he got up and began to make his way to you. Before he even closed his bedroom door he recognized the unfamiliar scent lingering through The Sanctum. Although he was originally going to your room to resolve things.. now he was just pissed off again.
Once Stephen made his way down the hall to your room he noticed your door was cracked open. Before knocking he looked through the crack and the sight he saw shattered his heart. All the anger leaving his body as he watched you fall apart on your bedroom floor.
Immediately he pushed the door open and startled you. Your eyes met and his heart broke even more as soon as he saw your puffy, red eyes up close. He wore a soft expression on his face, seeing you like this was really hurting him.
"What are you doing here Stephen? Gonna yell at me for trying to find some peace in my own head or are you gonna doctor me and insult me for my bad habits? Cause if that's what you're here for, get the fuck out or i'm leaving." You rasped while trying to wipe away the tears that kept rolling down your cheeks.
"Y/n, I'm sorry," Was all Stephen could say.
"What.." Your brows furrowed.
"I'm sorry for being so mean to you. I never meant anything I've said to you and I really do regret it all after seeing you here like this right now," Stephen said, still standing at your door while staring down at his hands.
You went silent for a moment, the whole world felt like it had froze. Did Stephen just APOLOGIZE to ME??? As you let his words sink in the tears came back and you covered your face with your hands.
"Please forgive me Y/n, I took control during that fight because I can't lose you. I care about you so much Y/n, I just never knew how to tell you. It was always easier to just walk around and pretend I didn't care," Stephen was losing hope as you began crying harder.
"I understand If you don't feel the same way, I just, I don't know, I can't hold it in any-"
"Shut up Stephen. Just stop talking for a minute," You interrupted him. "You.. have feelings, for me?" You needed to reassure yourself that this was actually real.
"Yes, Y/n I have for a long time," Stephen answered with a shy smile.
"This is a joke," You responded. Not willing to believe his words.
"What?"
"Funny fucking prank Stephen now if you're done getting my hopes up, you can leave," You snapped, curling yourself back up into a ball. The liquid courage was finally hitting you slightly. Now, all you needed was for Stephen to leave you so you could wallow in self pity alone.
Stephen furrowed his brows in confusion and walked toward you. Given that fact that you told him he was "getting your hopes up," he was quite confident in himself. He crouched down and tilted your chin up with his pointer finger and his thumb.
"What are you-"
"It's your turn to be quite Y/n, I want to help you understand what I’m saying," Stephen smirked as he looked down at your lips and back into your eyes as if he was asking you for permission.
Immediately you looked down at his and back into his eyes before he began to lean in and captured your lips in a soft but intimate kiss. As if you were both trying to tell eachother how you felt in one action.
Stephen pulled away and smiled when you tried to go in for another. "You can't smoke in here though, if Wong was home he would've lost his shit," Stephen said. "Don't worry though, I can fix this.. But this is the only exception," He tried to give you a stern look but you just giggled at him causing him to break his serious facade.
Stephen stood up and picked you up bridal style.
"Okay, now can I ask what you're doing?" You wore a smile on your face now.
"Going to bed," Stephen said before kissing your temple. "You need to rest, Doctors orders."
"Oh don't think just because this is happening that I'm gonna listen to you any more than I do now... But I guess a little sleep sounds nice at the moment," You exclaimed as you reach two arms around his neck and rested your head against his chest.
Stephen chuckled and started his way to your now, shared bedroom. He gently lied you on his bed and got in next to you immediately wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his body.
"Thank you," You whispered.
"For what?" Stephen asked.
"This," You answered back sleepily.
Stephen smiled, "This is only the beginning my love, sleep well."
And with that he gave you one of many goodnight kisses to come.
127 notes · View notes
sugarbooger513 · 3 years
Text
Mine (Stepbrother!ChosoxFem!Reader)
This is my collaboration piece for @severelytalentless Are You Afraid of the Dark collab! I had a lot of fun writing this... work. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to my very amazing friends who helped me out during this piece, especially my wifey @kentosovertime and my bestie @roughwithfluff. It wouldn't have ended up as well written as it did without the help.
Warnings: stepcest, possessive nature, unprotected sex (wrap your willies), oral (fem receiving), spit, Choso slaps reader in the face like once, he also slaps in another place, daddy kink, dom Choso, Choso is very petty, mentions of cheating ex, mentions of alcohol and nicotine consumption, degradation, praise, slight breeding kink if you squint
Tumblr media
"Don't bother calling me anymore! I see what's more important to you.." You hang up your cell phone and throw it across the room. Your bed feels colder than it usually does, but you lay on it anyways, allowing your tears to flow onto your pillow.
Your boyfriend, now ex, of two years had called you with a plea, begging for your forgiveness. How could you forgive him, though? When you heard about your best friend sleeping with him, you couldn't get the image out of your head. You knew she thought he was attractive, but there was never a worry in your mind that either of them would take it anywhere.
You sit up, suddenly realizing that he would be on his way home from work in an hour, maybe two. You had to leave before he got home. It wasn't like you feared he would hurt you for leaving him, but he would certainly try to guilt you into staying with him.
Your heart rate increases when you realize that you have no idea where you can go. He knows all of your family, and is pretty loved by all of them. Your stepmom even has the habit of calling him her son. 'Her son...'
You rush to grab your phone, dialing the all too familiar number. If there's one person in your family you can call, it's the one he's scared of.
"Y/N," your step brother lets out a long yawn after answering, "what's up?" "B-bubs.." You can hear him drop something on his end. "Honey, why are you crying?" "He.. he cheated on me.. with her.. you were right.."
Choso bites the inside of his cheek, suddenly enraged at the thought. He never liked that guy. When they first met, Choso punched him in the jaw for being an asshole. You were mad at him at the time, but eventually understood why he did it. Since then, your ex was too scared to look Choso in the eyes.
Still, he now finds himself smiling.
"I'm so sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?" Your sniffle makes him clench his fist. "He's going.. to be home s-soon." "Drive over here. I'll set up the guest-" "C-can you get me..? I don't want him tracking my car.."
Your pitiful voice goes straight to his crotch. Even though no one else is at his home, he finds himself trying to conceal his half hard cock with the kitchen counter.
"Of course, honey. Pack a bag. I'll be there in twenty." "I-I love you, Choso.. thank you." He has to bite his lip to keep from moaning. "I love you too, honey."
When he hangs up, he groans loudly and places his head on the cool marble. "Okay," he talks to himself aloud, "just.. keep yourself in control. You got this, Choso. She's your step sister, for Christ's sake." He shakes his head, grabbing his keys.
Still, he can't deny the things you do to him. It makes him feel terrible, but you're so damn tempting. He always figured that your hugs would last a little too long, your eyes scanned him a little too much, your hands lingered on him a little too suggestively.
He knew better, though. Your teenage years were spent on tons of dates with guys who were the complete opposite of your stepbrother. He would sit in his bedroom, no doubt on a video game, while he listened to guy after guy go in and out of your bedroom. It wasn't like you were a whore.
Those guys just eventually showed their true colors.
He knows that when you love, you love with your entire heart. That's why he was there for you through every heartbreak. He would hold you for hours, dry your tears with his own shirts, make you your favorite snacks, take you on long walks so you weren't cooped in the house all day.
Why? Well, because in his mind you already belonged to him.
You pace your living room, already holding your overnight bag in your hand. Of course, you'll probably stay with Choso more than one night, unless your dad tells you to stay with him and your stepmom instead.
Who are you kidding? If Choso offers to let you stay longer, you would much rather stay there.
Your front door opens, and you jump in fear that your ex came back early. "Shhh, honey it's me." "C-Cho.." Choso walks across the room in quick strides to pull you into his strong embrace.
His hands gently cradle you against his body. "He doesn't deserve your tears Y/N. Don't give him the satisfaction." "Y-you tell me that after every breakup, Choso.." "I know. That's because none of them deserve your kindness."
You close your eyes and feel yourself relax in his strong arms. He's never let you down. Choso has been the only guy in your life to prove he would always be there for you. You truly trust him with your life.
That being said, you can't ignore the feelings that have formed over the years for your stepbrother.
Your fingers grip his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer to you. He sighs softly and buries his face in your hair. "Is there anything I can do for you, Y/N?" "Just... don't leave me. Please?"
His heart pounds in his chest at your feeble plea. His throat seems to dry, so he can't manage to speak. Finally, after what feels like an hour, he clears his throat.
"You know I won't, Y/N. I never have." "And never will?" His large hands squeeze your body a bit harshly, but your breath only increases at the feeling.
"I never will. Now, why don't we get you loaded into the car and get you home?" You finally pull away, blinking your still teary eyes at him so innocently. "Home..?"
The look on your face has his body on fire. You look so damn innocent, just like an angel. They're still red and puffy from your crying, but that only has him straining in his pants.
The things he would give to take the innocence from your face this second..
"Of course. My home is yours for as long as you need." He jingles his keys in an attempt for you to hurry and follow.
"What.. what about as long as I want..?"
That sentence has him blushing furiously. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course. You're family and I love you, so my home is yours. We should go though. I don't want to-" His sentence is cut short when you wrap your small arms around his frame.
"Cho.. you're the only person in my life that cares this much.." "Don't say that, princess. You know that isn't true." His large hands are so gentle as they rub your back comfortingly. The small action has your heart pounding.
It also has your core burning for more.
"I-I want to stay with you." "Princess, then why are we still here?" There's a hint of laughter in his teasing tone. "I mean.. stay with you." You bury your face in his broad chest, hoping desperately that he gets the hint.
And oh boy does he ever. He can't help the small groan that escapes his throat at the mere thought.
"Y/N.. you don't mean that." You finally look up, shocked at the tint of rosiness on his usually pale cheeks.
"I-I do mean it.. You're the only guy who has ever-" "I'm family." "Not blood. D-Don't act like you don't feel the same Choso!" His eyes widen, and your accusation has him backing away from you, causing your hope to falter. Had you been mistaken this entire time? Had the stares and lingering touches really just been his own way of showing platonic affection.
"Choso.. I-" "Am I truly that obvious, Y/N?" You blink once, twice before giggling softly. "Y-yeah.. have I not been?" "No. Your.. attention always seemed to be on others. I just assumed.. you saw me as your big brother." You shake your head, walking slowly to stand directly in front of him again.
You've always thought his eyes were gorgeous, a slight grey tint over the almost golden color, they truly are their own unique shade, but right now they seem even brighter.
"I.. I was scared. People would.. call us freaks if anything came of any attraction to each other. I mean.. we've known forever that we weren't related, but our parents have been married-" "Going on ten years now. Even dated for five years before that. Trust me," his hand reaches to touch your cheek gently, as if he's afraid he could break you, "I've been bouncing the pros and cons in my head for so many fucking years."
Your cheek fits so easily in his palm, as if it was made to be there. "So.. who gives a damn about the cons anymore?" His eyes darken at your words, suddenly not focused on your gaze, but your lips. "I don't think I do, Princess." He suddenly turns the two of you, pressing your body into the wall that was originally behind him.
His lips hover centimeters over yours, making you whimper pathetically. "Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you, Y/N." His lips turn at the corners, making the already handsome guy seem even more so. Your hands reach out, gripping the loose t-shirt he's wearing tightly. "I-I need you, Cho. P-please?"
"Well, why don't we take this little.. fiasco to my place?" "No." He tilts his head in confusion as you smirk. "Fuck me on his bed.. onii-chan."
His lips are on yours the instant that word leaves your mouth. Despite the fact you're almost certain that Choso doesn't know what lip balm is, his lips are so plush and soft. It catches you off guard, causing you to moan softly in his mouth.
He isn't shy about exploring your body either. His hands grab every bit of plushness they can. Your hips, thighs, ass, until he finally reaches your breasts. His hands squeeze them harshly, not caring about any actual pain he could bring. You gasp in the kiss, which allows his tongue to finally invade your mouth, easily taking over as the dominant one.
He tastes faintly of cheap wine and cigarettes, but that doesn't shock you. You've spent multiple nights in his room smoking and drinking after rough breakups.
You have to smack at his shoulder a few times before he pulls away, leaving a strand of saliva connecting the two of you. He lets out a deep growl before grabbing your arm to yank you upstairs.
He kicks the bedroom door open, not caring about possibly busting the damn thing. "I have waited for so fucking long," he shoves you onto the queen sized bed that you once shared with your ex, "to have you all to myself. Now that I have you..." He pulls the shirt over his head, causing your eyes to shamelessly wander over his toned body. He catches your gaze, causing him to lick his bottom lip in anticipation. "Oh I am never letting you out of my grasp now, little one."
You sit up and, without a second thought, throw your shirt off and into the floor. "A bit possessive, are we?" He chuckles a bit darkly. "I don't see you complaining. Besides," he rips your pants off in one fluid motion, purring at the dark spot already staining your panties, "it seems you know who you belong to." His head is almost instantly between your legs, his hands shoving your thighs open effortlessly.
He licks a long stripe up your covered slit, causing you to mewl. "Go ahead, princess, tell me exactly who owns you." This time he places a small kiss just over your clit. "F-fuck, you!" "Hmmm," his hand comes down to smack your pussy with an unnecessary amount of force. "Not good enough. Try again." He lands another smack, this one making tears prick your eyes.
"W-what do y-you want-" you cry out as he lands two more smacks on you. The pain is startling at first, but it quickly has you moaning in pleasure. "How about that fun little nickname you've given so many men that have entered your bedroom?" You squeak, making him chuckle. "Oh come on, there's no way you thought I never heard you. Always had the fucking nerve," another smack, this one even harder, "to cry out for other men while I was in my bedroom dreaming of making those pretty eyes cry in my bed. Come on, call me that sweet little name and I'll fuck you better than any of those assholes could have."
The last smack has you screaming, and you can't seem to care that any of your neighbors could hear. "D-Daddy! Y-You own me! I-it's always been you, I swear daddy! P-Please fuck me, I-I need it!"
He groans loudly before ripping your panties from your body. "I'll have to remember that you beg beautifully once I get you home." Two of his fingers spread you apart, and he smirks at the puddle of essence already pooling on the bed. "So fucking wet for me, aren't you?" He doesn't give you a chance to answer before he buries his face in you, eating you out like a man starved.
The sudden onslaught of pleasure makes you try and clamp your thighs closed, but one of his hands shoves it back down. His eyes look up at you as he continues to lap at your drooling pussy. The stare speaks every word he can't at the moment.
This is for his pleasure, not yours, and you're meant to lay back and take what he's giving you.
Your fingers tangle in his raven hair, and the slight pain has him growling against you. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit, sucking harshly, and he shoves two fingers into you without any warning.
You knew beforehand that Choso had slept with at least a few women, so he's not inexperienced, but you never knew that he was this experienced. His long fingers curl into you, pushing against the spot that has you screaming his name to the heavens. He has to rut against your mattress in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief.
"D-Daddy.. I-I'm g-gonna cum.." He could already tell. Your walls sucked his fingers in as soon as they entered you, so he knew you wouldn't last much longer. "Hmmm," his sharp teeth nip your clit gently, but it still makes you squeak, "I sure hope you aren't telling daddy what you're going to do.. That would be awfully rude of you, little one."
The sheer dominance and control radiating from him has your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Since when was your sweet step brother so demanding? "C-can I please cum, daddy? I-It feels t-too good.." You feel that damn smirk against your clit. "Of course, baby. Just scream my name when you do it, okay?"
He really must not like you talking much, because he doesn't let you answer him before he starts ruthlessly pounding his fingers into your cunt. Your entire body arches from the bed as you cry out for him. It takes one last flick of his tongue on your swollen bud to have you writing in the bed, coming completely undone before he even pulled his pants off.
He slows down, but doesn't completely stop, allowing you to ride out your high as he uses his tongue to lap up every drop of sweetness pouring from you. "Good girl, I've got you sweetheart. Are you feeling up for more, or do you need to stop until we go home?"
He sits up, eyeballing your form as he licks his lips clean, ignoring the fact he's dripping your own cum from his chin onto you.
You giggle, still a bit spaced out from the intense orgasm. "W-want you.. inside me, please daddy?" He chuckles softly before reaching to finally unhook your bra and fling it to the side. "Of course baby. Where are your condoms?" "D-Don't have any. I'm on.. the pill." His cheeks flush a bit, but he doesn't question anything else.
He makes quick work of his sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. The outline of his cock alone has you snapping back to reality. When he pulls the boxers down, you outwardly moan when it slaps back against his abdomen. He's much bigger than any guy you've had before. Also, it's so.. pretty.
The shaft is a lot like the rest of his skin, a very pale color that almost shines if sunlight hits it. The head is a soft pink, very reminiscent of the blushes he always seemed to get if you teased him too much, with droplets of precum around it. A large vein runs from the underside of it, and you can see it actually throb the more he stares at you.
"See something you like, love?" You whimper at the very affectionate nickname. "I-is it going to fit? I mean.. I've never.." "Don't worry, little one," he gently lays you back, "daddy will get it to fit. If it hurts too much, just let me know. Okay?" he grabs one of your exes' pillows, placing it gently under your lower back. "O-okay, daddy. I trust you."
His smile warms your heart. "That's my good girl. Spread your legs for me." You nod, following his instructions immediately. His hand reaches between the two of you, grabbing his cock and gently rubbing the tip around your entrance. "You sure you want this, Y/N? I don't want you to feel forced." You whimper, nodding instantly. "P-please fuck me, Choso.. I've waited so long.." You spread your legs more, effortlessly enticing him.
When his tip enters you, you're already a moaning mess. It just feels too good. He watches your expressions intently as he slowly pushes into you, searching for any signs of discomfort. Once he's about halfway in, he stops completely.
"How you doin' baby? Any pain?" He leans down to give you a gentle kiss. "G-good. I-it kinda burns, but nothing bad, I promise." He smiles against your mouth and starts to push in again. "We're almost there, little one. Just- fuuuuck." He finally bottoms out, the stretch of it making you whimper loudly and wiggle around. He pants on your face, the scent of you still heavy on his breath.
"S-so fucking tight.. can't believe this is happening..”
He chuckles softly, giving a tentative thrust into your heat. You bite down on your lip, finding both pain and pleasure in the burn that courses through your body. "D-daddy-" He cuts off the rest of your sentence by leaning back onto his knees and grabbing the back of both of your thighs. He manhandles you easily into what you can only assume is a mating press.
"So easy to throw around, aren't you? My pretty baby.." He pulls out of you until only his tip is still inside before slamming back in, causing you to see stars. "You take cock like a pro, baby. I wasn't sure a cute little thing like you could handle it." You tighten around him at his foul language, causing him to growl. "I'm gonna ruin you for anyone else, baby. I'll make sure I'm the only one who can make you scream. You want that, baby? Want daddy to fuck the imprint of his cock into your slutty little hole?"
You throw your head back and cry out for him. "P-please! Make me your little toy, daddy. W-want you to own me.. prove who I belong to, please?" You know you've done it now from the way he snarls at you. However, the sudden ringing of your phone makes both of you freeze. He leans back up to wrap your thighs around his torso.
He's the first to reach to the floor and grab it, still buried deep inside of you. "Oh, lookie there.. a video call. Hello?" Did he-
"Choso? Where is Y/N? Why do you have her phone?" Your ex's voice sounds from the speaker, making your eyes shoot open. You meet Choso's eyes, mouthing the words 'hang up' over and over.
"What does it matter? She dumped you and called me." "Of course she did. Dude, let me talk to her." Choso chuckles darkly, finally thrusting into you, making you squeak loudly despite your best effort to stay quiet.
"What was that?" "Y/N. She's currently.. held up. Or.. down, rather." He smirks at his own joke, reaching down his free hand to start circling your clit with his middle finger. The feeling has you tightening your thighs around his waist.
"You... what?" "Are you deaf and stupid? I said she's busy, aren't you little one?" He smirks down at your form, panting and shaking your head in a desperate, silent plea. This can not be how everyone finds out about this. No way in hell.
Choso's mocking pout makes your face flare up. "She seems a little shy. Let me show you instead." "N-no! Choso I-!" The choking gasp from the phone call shuts you up. Choso's eyes show no mercy as he looks at you almost amused. "That isn't what you should be calling me, is it?"
You look directly at the camera on the back of your phone, your face a deep scarlet color. Before you can correct yourself, the hand that was idly playing with your clit launches up, smacking your cheek with enough force to have your eyes switch to his. He smirks and shoves his index and middle fingers in your mouth without warning, making the ring he wears clack a bit painfully into your teeth.
"Pretty little whore just needs to learn some manners. Don't you, love?" He gets a wicked grin seeing how you blabber around his digits, trying so desperately to behave and give him an answer. "Sorry, princess, I didn't quite hear you. Try again for daddy." He shoves his fingers farther down your throat, causing you to gag and cough. Spit pours out of your kiss bruised lips, making Choso moan above you.
Your teary eyes make him pull his fingers out, wiping the spit across your face. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't speak? Silly little girl. Now, what should you be calling me?" "D-Daddy! I'm s-so sorry.." He groans, running his thumb down your bottom lip. He gently pries your mouth open before leaning over you, letting spit fall from his tongue into your waiting mouth. He purrs as you swallow it so obediently. "I know you are. You're such a good girl for me. Oh, he hung up." Choso chuckles softly and tosses your phone back to the floor.
"I believe that I have some work to finish, right baby?" Both of his hands grab your hips, surely leaving bruises, before he starts to mercilessly ram into your sopping cunt. Your throat is still somewhat raw from his fingers being in it not two minutes ago, but he's determined to pull every sound he can from you.
He slides one hand down, harshly pinching and rolling your swollen clit between two fingers. Your cries only encourage his ruthless actions.
"D-daddy I-I.. something.. something doesn't-" Your pleas are cut off when the hand on your hip actually lifts you off the bed, giving him enough access for the tip of his cock to batter into your cervix.
If you aren't sore tomorrow, he hasn't done his job.
Sweat drips down his forehead and chest as he growls deeply. "There we go baby. T-that's the spot. Cum for daddy, want you screaming until my name is the only t-thing you know." His hand starts slapping your exposed clit again, finally throwing you over the edge. When the coil in your abdomen snaps, you scream his name, raw throat be damned.
Choso hisses as you tighten around his cock, spraying his lower abdomen in your essence. "Sh-shit I-" His sentence trails off when he thrusts into you one more time, letting out an animalistic snarl as his own climax washes over him.
You can feel his cock throb as he unloads his seed deep inside you. The feeling makes you tremble and mewl. There's so much of it that it still manages to spill out, staining the bed sheets under you.
He's still panting pretty heavily when he slides out of you, careful in case you're still too sensitive. When you squeak, he reaches up to cup your cheek. "You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you." You nuzzle into his hand, placing a small kiss in the palm. "Th-thank you, daddy. I-I'm so tired." When your eyes start to flutter shut, he carefully stands from the bed, shamelessly admiring your disheveled state. "I'm sure you are. Let me get us cleaned up. Then I'll take you home, okay?"
Your small nod is plenty of an answer, so he rushes to the bathroom to search for a rag. He takes only a few seconds to wipe himself clean before rushing back to your side. You wince slightly at the feeling of the cloth wiping you down. "Shhhh, daddy's got you baby. I'll be done in just a second." He smiles to himself as you visibly relax into his touch, allowing him to finish.
"You know," he chuckles as he helps you pull your clothes back on, "your dad is going to try and kill me." "Your mom is going to call me every name in the book." He nods in agreement, finally starting to dress himself.
"So.. should we stay quiet? I imagine shit-for-brain isn't going to, but we can play that off as him being an idiot." You bite your lip, weighing the consequences of either decision.
There's no doubt in your mind, you want to be with Choso. It's clear he's willing to do whatever you want, but from the look in his eyes, the answer is obvious.
"I'm not hiding it." He blinks at you in shock. "B-baby.. your repu-" You stand up, despite your legs screaming in pain. He's quick to rush over and pull you into his chest. "I don't care.. I love you, and I don't want to hide it anymore." You squeak loudly when he picks you up bridal style, holding you easily with one arm.
The kiss he gives you is soft and loving, full of nothing but his affection for you. "I love you too, Y/N. I want nothing more than to tell the world that."
He carries you downstairs to grab your overnight bag, and then out to put you in his car. He really refuses to let you do anything, since he even leans inside to buckle you up. Your protests have him laughing. "When you're with me," he kisses your lips after getting into the driver's seat, "you're the spoiled princess. Got it?"
The drive to his house is quiet. He holds your hand the entire time, stroking along it with his thumb, occasionally bringing it to his mouth and kissing each knuckle.
"Oh.. oh shit." "What?" You open your eyes from almost falling asleep.
Your blood freezes when you see what he's looking at. Your dad's car is already parked in his driveway.
Tags: @katgalle, @savonline
526 notes · View notes
newronantic · 3 years
Text
HAIKYUU!! FICS
so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great
MHA one is up!!
ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!
KageHina
plain as day - emleewrites
In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.
In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments
Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.
I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments
Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.
Chaotic Neutral - akaraka
Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?
1: Anonymous: see title
2: Anonymous: curry king
3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?
4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above
jellyfish - mysterytwin
At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.
TsukkiYama
Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta
A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.
The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw
"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.
No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”
Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.
IwaOi
Terrarium - sausaged
He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).
At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?
Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?
A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.
They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao
"You're in love with him."
Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.
"Yeah," he says instead.
He's never been good at lying, anyway.
bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody
Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.
my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn
Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.
Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.
(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)
KuroKen
Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki
Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.
the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot
Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.
Accidentally In Love - todxrxki
Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"
Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.
the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony
TW: major character death
Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives
even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot
Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.
you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot
Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.
teach me the way home - icespyders
“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”
Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.
in this universe - crossbelladonna
Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.
All this, and a glass of water.
Beginning’s End - todxrxki
Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.
All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki
“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”
“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”
“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.
BokuAka
just to miss the sun - rosevtea
Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.
Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn
After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.
bitter - silvercistern
He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.
Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.
And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.
In Another Life - LittleLuxray
TW: major character death
Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.
The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.
120% yes - pissedofsandwich
TOKYO FRANCHISE COMING SOON @OnigiriMiya
in reply to @bokkun_official 
Congratulations! In celebration of your historic engagement, please DM us so we can send you a free membership code with a 25% discount on every fourth purchase!
Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays
It happens right after training camp.
Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.
But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.
daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar
Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.
SakuAtsu
The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)
Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”
(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)
A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol
In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?
768 notes · View notes
miss-kittyy · 3 years
Text
Rewriting Briarlight and Longtail’s Deaths
So I am disabled, like very disabled, I am %50 of the teenagers ever diagnosed with my special combination of pain disorders, and I also unfortunately hyper fixated on warrior cats, which is bad news for me because warrior cats is super ableist, and to add insult to injury, the fandom can also be pretty ableist.
My biggest problem with the majority of “anti-ableist” AUs is that they “fix” the ableism stemming from the narrative and able bodied characters by making the disabled character less disabled, this so bad for many reasons. I’ve talked more about in other posts. The justification that real life disabled cats are less doesn’t make it not ableist, since when was warrior cats meant to be realistic? If you’re making an au where the disabled cats function like actual disabled cats you also have to make all the cats genetically accurate, and retcon Lionblaze lifting a tree.
My problem with warrior cats is not that the disabled characters cannot become full conventional warriors, I’d like it if they got to choose what duties the perform instead of being crammed into the medicine den, but I don’t care about Cinderpelt not being able to complete a marathon. Most of the fandom seems to think the issue is that the disabled character are not useful enough, instead of the way that able bodied characters deny of them agency and make remarks like “you wouldn’t want to return to a life like her’s would you?”. Disabled people do not need to be “useful” to be worthy and empowering.
It’s very obvious that most of the fandom just wants the disabled cats to be more palatable to abled bodied people, so I’ve decided to make my own rewrite instead to hopefully make myself feel better. A lot of these things are inspired by my own experiences and not every disabled person is looking for the same things in representation, this is totally self indulgent.
The goal of this AU is to highlight the many unique and valuable aspects disability and how being disabled does not infringe upon anyone’s worth, ever.
- Longtail doesn’t die in the storm, Briarpaw is still injured, but he’s found besides her, trying his best to help her cling to life.
- after Briarpaw begins to recover he stands up to Millie and other cats insulting her quality of life, he says her journey will be hard, but it is one worth taking.
- She asks him why he’s an elder, and he decides to request to have his warrior ship restored as Briarpaw is dreading the life of an elder.
- On his first patrol the cats accompanying him insist on speaking to him in an incredibly infantilism tone, and whispering amongst themselves over what he can or can’t do, without consulting him,
- He initially gives up on patrolling after that insufferable experience.
- Briarlight begins to create marks and blobs on the wall of the medicine den using crushed up dead herbs she asks him to retrieve some berries for her, and he complies.
- Jayfeather shows him how he navigates the territory with the help of some of the sighted cats, and Mousefur is quick to volunteer as his guide. He finds her company surprisingly empowering. He realizes that it was not his blindness which was limiting his abilities, but the other cats attitudes.
- Mousefur and Longtail return with mouthful of berries and herbs, Briarlight describes to him what she’s drawing on the side of the den and he helps he mound the materials into paint.
- The cats begin to pop into the medicine den to see Briarlights painting and soon Jayfeather has to kick her out occasionally so they’d stop crowding him, she’s given the walls of camp to decorate instead.
- She begins to illustrate Longtails stories of the old territory and Bloodclan, and this new form of storytelling becomes a tradition amongst Thunderclan.
- because more young cats are aware of the clans history it becomes harder for the dark forest to recruit them, unfortunately, Blossomfall’s resentment towards her sister means she never cared to listen.
- Ivypool is still recruited and trained like in canon, given her relationship with the dark forest was much more emotionally charged and manipulative than just plain lies.
- at a gathering Longtail meets Grasspelt who inquires about Briarlight, Longtail is surprised about how little he knows as the she-cat had mentioned how well they got along as apprentices. Despite Millie nagging him not to tell him the truth about her daughter he does anyways, but puts much more emphasis on how well she’s doing than Millie expected. Grasspelt thinks this sounds really cool and decides that he is going to see her and her paintings, and that nobody can stop him. Longtail makes sure to put any opposing cat in their place, but Briarlight is a very respected Clanmate, so most warriors don’t say anything.
- Briarlight is nervous and doesn’t want to come out of the medicine den at first, but when Grassheart darts into the den holding berries and flowers for her to paint with she quickly warms up to her visitor.
- Grassheart is happy to tell Briarlight that he’s never been able to be a “functioning” warrior, and that he has always imagined that his spirit is shaped different, the medicine cat says his body is normal, but he’s never been able to keep focus in a fight or react as quickly as he should be able to while hunting. (He’s autistic because I say so)
- As dusk nears he’s visually hesitant to return to Riverclan and when Longtail inquires on why he says that he hasn’t felt so “here” for a long time. On the way back he wanders off and comes back with a chipmunk, when returning to Riverclan territory his father, Mintfur, is shocked to see his catch. After talking with his family a bit he realizes that it was the noise from the river that was making him so tense and dissociated, Brackenfur, who was escorting him, notices that he keeps rubbing himself on the ground and wincing.
- For the next couple moons Grasspelt returned to Thunderclan to bring Briarlight plants that only grow in Riverclan territory, he begins trying to fish from the quite lazy stream in their territory and soon both him and Briarlight have got it down.
- Longtail notices the sadness present whenever Grasspelt left and exclaims that it’s rather stupid that he’s living somewhere so unsuited for him just because of words long repeated.
- Grasspelt confesses that he feels the same, but knew he wasn’t supposed to say anything. Briarlight tells Longtail that her and the Riverclan warrior had been thinking of each other as mates for moons.
- Longtail accompanies Jayfeather to the next half moon meeting where he proposes his addition to the warrior code, “no cat should be confined to laws which harm them due to an inherent physical or spiritual difference.” (Cats don’t really know how brains work, so they see mental disabilities as a difference within a cats spirit)
- A moon later the leaders meet to discuss this proposition, it is accepted and Grasspelt makes the journey to Thunderclan for the final time.
- Grasspelt is renamed Grassspirit when becoming a Thunderclan warrior, unlike prior renaming of disabled cats this is a celebration.
- Grassspirit spends most of his time taking care of the elders and kits, he’s incredibly compassionate especially with kits and is able to solve many problems within the nursery.
- When twigkit and Violetkit arrive in Thunderclan Briarlight and Grassspirit help raise them, after Violetkit is taken Briarlight and Twigkit paint her on the side of Thunderclan camp.
- Briarlight still gets sick and her illness progresses without any treatment, Grassspirit notices her trying to hide it and when Longtail finds out he’s very upset. Jayfeather frantically treats her, expressing his frustration that she didn’t tell them sooner, the second Millie steps out she breaks down and explains that she just wanted to deal with it herself, and perhaps if she were successful Millie would finally treat her like an adult.
- Longtail gives Millie a stern talking to, he tells her that Briarlight is a warrior of Thunderclan and as her clanmate she should show her some respect.
- Millie is inherently very reactionary, as she had not realized the full extent of her suffocation, but eventually after a couple moons her and Briarlight begin to rekindle their relationship, like adults.
- Blossomfall sees how Brairlight wasn’t basking in their mother’s attention like she imagined, and feels the urge to seek out an actual sisterhood after ignoring Briarlight for moons and moons.
- Briarlight isn’t really mad at her sister, and understands why she felt the way she did. Jayfeather suggests that Blossomfall help Briarlight with her painting, Blossomfall seems put off with the suggestion of being her sister’s assistant.
- The interactions that follow are less than ideal, Blossomfall commends Briarlight’s able friends (Thornclaw, Poppyfrost, Alderheart, etc) for being so nice to her, as if that’s not what friends do. She seems very sad the entire time, sighing when her sister dragged her legs around with her mouth to sit more comfortably, even though she was completely fine. When watching her paint she comments that it’s good she has “something to keep her busy”, and finally she expresses her view, of Briarlight’s injury and her (Blossomfall’s) suffering being all worth it because of her talents, as if her life was not worth living to begin with.
- Briarlight tells her that if that’s truly what she wants she’s going to have to put more effort into understanding and respecting her way of life, and that she won’t apologize for their mother’s actions.
- When Blossomfall has her kits they take a liking to Auntie Briarlight, and Blossomfall seems to have reflected on their past interactions, trusting her sister to watch her kits. Briarlight teases a bit, a subtle way of telling her not to rush things, but they do begin to feel like something close to sisters.
- Right before Briarlight’s Nieces and Nephews are made warriors Longtail dies of Greencough. Throughout the entirety of his sickness he kept his sense of humour, his mean streak, and his immense love for what he had made of his clan.
- At his vigil Grassspirit began whaling like a bird in new-leaf, he insists that the vigil is too sad, and that Longtail wouldn’t want everyone moping around, for Starclan’s sake, his life was good. Standing amongst them, Longtail’s spirit can feel every cat in Thunderclan standing around him, singing the song of a life well lived.
549 notes · View notes