#and this great family we’ve known almost my entire life is living in my grandma’s house

[steviescrystals]

there is no feeling worse in the world than missing your grandma :/

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

For the ask game:

8. What I like most about your writing

I like how deep you get into creating characters. There is so much detail put into creating them, with how their living circumstances realistically are (Peter is canonically poor and Midtown tech looks way to fancy to be anything but a rich private school, which would really impact Peter but the marvel movies kinda ignore a lot of the details there, and you didn’t) to how they would interact with the world/other characters (it’s great how you show how Peter’s life impacts his relationship with Frank). I love it so much!!!!!

9. A fic I’m excited for you updating

The first step of kintsugi!

14. A fic I didn’t expect to like so much

Kintsugi and Therianthropy. I know very little about Frank Castle (his show is a little dark for me and I haven’t gotten to him in Daredevil yet) but I ran out of Matt mentors Peter fics so I thought I’d give kitsugi a try. Now I am attached to Frank and Lisa, characters I know little about outside of your writing

15. A question about your fic

We’ve gone over MJ and Peters living situation, but what about Ned? Does he have parents or live with just his grandma? Is he rich or one of the scholarship kids like Peter and MJ? When did Peter meet him?

poverty was such a fundamental thing to peter's character that i really wasn't willing to like, write a version of peter that didn't have that be a part of his person. like, it's such cornerstone of who he is and why he makes the decisions that he does that i couldn't really conceptualize him turning out into the same peter parker that became spiderman without it. the writers of the mcu sort of made light of it, talking about how may could sustain them and how nobody wants spiderman to have to remember the eggs for his struggling aunt or whatever, which i feel just. misunderstands why peter parker became spiderman or what spiderman represents. it was surprisingly easy to lean into what the mcu had and weave in peter parker's canonical origins. so much of it was just connecting the dots with natural consequences, like how that might affect him in a visibly rich school and his relationship with frank, who's shown to have been living in a pretty nice middle class set up before his family died.

i LOVE fics where matt mentors peter and i'm thrilled you gave me a shot. (if you haven't read the staying close to the ground or dumpster fires verses, i highly recommend them). frank there's a lot of outside of my writing, lisa i made up almost wholesale. there's nothing. she's the perfect daughter who died too young, and so i wanted to pull her off the ice and make her half feral. i love her so much. she is so unwell. like, i like to use isolated POVs to sort of "narrow" the story and influence its framing, because i think the voice of a story almost always makes it an entirely different story, and therianthropy necessarily had to come through matt and only matt, so she was sort of absent from the last installment, but she is So Unwell. like i know a lot of people are waiting for frank to show up but we need to Unpack some of the shit she's got going on mentally first.

And Ned! ned ned ned! i love ned! he's so fun and almost entirely absent from kintsugi so far, so, devastatingly, he has very little known about him. he's going to be way more present, we just have to get a few more things out of the way before he can come and join the rest of the main cast.

i'm going to keep the answers kind of vague because some of it is going to be discussed in depth later in the story, and i don't want to spoil it. but, generally speaking:

Just his grandma.

he's in between. Wealth at midtown tech is sort of on a sliding scale. you have students who are poor, and i think that midtown is prestigious enough that that sliding scale goes allllll the way up to families that are in the range of "CEO to tech conglomerate" levels of wealth. like, for the most part, those families go to super ritzy private schools, but midtown has churned out enough successfully scientists that it's not unheard of for majorly rich people to send their kids there too. that's rare enough that you really don't have a student that wealthy enrolled right now, but you do have people whose families have net worths that are easily in the several million dollar range. MJ and Peter are really the only ones in the school that can really be called poor. like, if you took a poll of their classmates, MJ and peter would really be the only ones who can remember having times where they aren't really certain if the heat can stay on or if there's enough to eat. and there's a lot of reasons why that is, but i think the biggest one is that this midtown science has a scholarship system entirely dependent on merit instead of need. like, not to get too deep in the weeds on the scholarship program for this fanfiction, but i think the only way to get a scholarship for midtown is to do so through an official testing program. there is no analysis of need for scholarships. there is a need-based grant program meant to support students with financial difficulties, but it's structured in a way that makes it incredibly difficult to use and requires a new application every single billing cycle, meaning that most of the students are students from families that can afford tuition. because scholarship is merit-based, it's become a huge status symbol at midtown science. it's also why this system gets perpetuated--parents pay out their nose for private tutors to make sure their kids place extremely high on the placement exams, not because they need a scholarship, but because having a kid that got most of their tuition waived means they're the cream of the crop. it's basically the school acknowledging that their kid is the best of the best from the get out. so it makes the actual ability to get into midtown science highly competition and skewed toward wealthier families, because they're the ones that can afford these tutors. if you get 100% of your tuition waived? It's basically the school saying you were the absolute best and brightest of everyone we interviewed for your year. in every other year except for peter and mj's, those are almost exclusively kids who had been privately tutored for the exam. peter and mj had a target on their back from the start, not just because they were poor, but because they were poor and still better than all these kids who had to go home to parents who paid for a year and a half of private tutoring only for top billing to go to a couple of kids who just sort of showed up to the test. may and ben visibly had no idea what it meant that peter got full scholarship past "oh we're so proud" and "that means we can afford to send him here." it's like the family of Miss America showing up to the award ceremony thinking their kid won a little contest, good on them. MJ's parents didn't even come to the parent mixer. a lot of the really aggressive parents took this attitude as an insult and a way to feed their inferiority complex, which they projected onto their kids, who then turned around and took it out on peter and mj, who they perceive as having taken from them something they deserved more. that being said, ned's definitely on scholarship--probably 75% or so of his tuition is waived, which is good, because tuition would have been a big burden on his family otherwise. ned's family is definitely a lot better off than mj or peter's, but tuition gets expensive. i'd say pretty solidly upper middle class. he's never had to worry about rent money, because his grandma owns their house. he's always had enough where he can have pretty expensive lego sets. but his family isn't exorbitantly rich, just comfortable.

a few years back. they're like, 14 now? I say around 11 or so. beginning of middle school, when they both joined the midtown science district/feeder school. at first, they were just generally in the same class and knew each other in a distant sort of way, but they became close friends later. we'll go into that and how exactly they became friends in wayyy more detail later.

[weaselle]

Let’s talk about Witchcraft!

I used to pal around with people who considered themselves witches and pagans. California is a great place for finding people of a similar mindset, and I began a journey into what I then considered witchcraft with books by Aleister Crowley and a skill with tarot cards. Later, I celebrated a year’s worth of Sabbats with a group I joined in Germany. In Alabama I helped a couple people who were struggling with leaving christianity remain connected to a natural spiritualism through concepts such as the Lord and Lady. But my personal witching identity never truly fell in line with Wiccan paganism.

My grandmother had Gifts, I’ve written about them before. She had The Voice and she had True Dreams and some kind of Sight, all of which I personally witnessed before she passed.  I share the same birthmark as she, and, present at my birth, she pronounced some kind of minor prophecy regarding me when she saw the mark. My mother died when I was very young and nobody else took it seriously enough to remember this ‘prophecy’; Grandma herself when she recounted the story seemed to feel telling me her actual words would... not be a good idea.

I have my own variation of her gifts, more like Charm than Voice I would say; nothing special about my dreams when I have them at all, definitely some kind of Sight. But these gifts are not the kind of thing that are controlled or used on purpose, and, at least in my own family, come rarely into our lives. Altogether I have had noticeable access to these gifts perhaps ten times in my 40+ years.

However, I have developed a brand of practical witchcraft that suits me and seems more (not to be dismissive of other folks but) more real than what I was participating in when I was spending time with wiccan flavored witchery. Perhaps an example is in order. Let us consider the Athame, the witch’s blade.

Most of the people I’ve known to have an Athame have had some silly ceremonial decorative thing. Some chrome plated jagged shaped enormous monstrosity, and they only use it ten times a year to salute the 4 directions and ritualistically sacrifice some cheese or whatever.

But witchcraft is old. The OLDEST magic, the FIRST magic -- witching is older than the very concept of a decorative knife. Witchcraft, in my opinion, is a very practical practice.

My own Athame is my chef’s knife.

I use it every day. I know its weight, the feel of it in my hand, I’m skilled with it, I care for it daily, sharpening, cleaning; it feeds me, a part of almost every dinner I eat. If I lost it I would feel as though I lost a part of myself. I can use it to create things that will, for example, win over a romantic partner’s family (let’s be honest, cooking and witchcraft are closely tied together). It is well suited to butchering a small animal, if I was the kind of witch that did animal sacrifice, this is the knife I would use.

This, to me, is a witch’s blade.

The rest of a witch’s tool box is just as practical. Knife, music, wand, chalice, candle, pentacle. Other witch’s tools are basically these same things, much the way a torch is basically a big candle. Mystical as they may seem in a modern setting, these things are, in their purest form, simply the things you would need to be different than an animal, and survive as a human being in the wild.

You have fire (candle). A musical sound (bell is often simplest but plenty of witch kits substitute a flute, or a small drum, or some other simple instrument). A pentacle is little more than a flat work surface, like a cutting board, which is far more rare and valuable than we take it for if you live in the wild. And lets talk about the chalice and wand.

A wand is a stick. Possibly the first multi-purpose tool humans ever regularly used. You can use it to dig tubers. Draw diagrams in the dirt. Stir a stew or poke a fire. It extends your reach when getting fruit from trees or poking into holes for small edible creatures. A spear is, at its base concept, a large wand (the chimpanzees we’ve observed making and using spears are mostly mothers btw). And there are two reasons I suspect one might attach significance to waving a stick around in the air.

1: if you see a group of people talking and gesturing, but one of them is gesturing with some kind of stick, that one is in charge or has some special say in things. Right? I mean obviously there will be exceptions, but that basic observation is pretty true. In this way, it confers an invisible power.

2: if you are entering an old holy place, one that you only enter a few times a year, some kind of cave, or small grove, or temple... I can tell you from experience you’re probably going to want to find a stick and wave it around in front of you, around the entire space. Or you’re going to get that icky startle you feel when you catch a strand of spiderweb to the face. Imagine how that whole process might look to someone who doesn’t know what’s happening.

But there’s something else about a wand. A classic wand will have a pointy end (of obvious use in a variety of situations) and a thicker blunt end. This is not just for grip. That blunt end can combine with the chalice or cup to be a mortar and pestle. Now your wand, knife, chalice and candle are really coming together, because when you are done making whatever it is with the knife and mortar and pestle (probably on the surface of your pentacle) you can hang your chalice over the candle and heat it. This is how a witch might make a medicinal tea, or potion. 

Sometimes, one might attach something to the tip of the wand to specialize it, so a wand might have a rounded riverstone that would be a greater pestle. Or it might have a crystal that can make fire from sunlight. Or it might have a gem with a point hard enough to inscribe things on stones. All manner of things. Practical Things, though, is what I’m saying. Things that would have bordered on magic when the first humans had access to these tools.

So that for the tools. But what about Spells?

I don’t know how witching on the internet works. I’m old. But I’m going to tell you how a money spell I’ve used works, and that will give you an insight into my brand of witching and magic maybe. What you do is, you put a container on your altar (you have an altar. No, you DO. It’s either that place your keys and wallet always wind up, or the desk you do your creating at, or the spot next to the stove that’s supposed to be clear space but your cutting board and favorite knife is always there in front of jars of your favorite seasonings even though technically all that stuff has other places they are supposed to be kept. Sadly it might be your TV. These places fill altar functions. Unless you have a specially designated altar somewhere else already, of course) ANYway, you take a container, the bigger it is the stronger the spell but also the more time and effort it will take. Anyway, you put it on your altar. You stand in front of your altar and you make a solemn promise to put every penny you find there, in that container. Only literal penny coins, mind you. You vow to fill it to overflowing. You get an image in your head of what that looks like, and you concentrate on that, and you dedicate yourself to arriving in a universe in which this image is a reality. Basically, by spending time and energy on the promise, you make yourself take it seriously. You decide what you will do with those pennies. Be standing there making your penny collecting vow when you decide on that thing. It must be a whole thing, don’t add them to other money for anything, and don’t spend them on things you already set money aside for regularly; ideally you pair what you are doing with those pennies to concepts of reward and/or sacrifice. So you could vow to take them to a wishing fountain and throw them all in yourself or give them to other people to make wishes, or decide to take them all to a dessert place you like but rarely go to, and spend them on your favorite dessert they have for you or your bestie (fountain or cake, you walk away from spending them without owning anything more than when you started - hence an aspect of sacrifice… eating the pennies as cake or throwing them out as an offering is the same as burning them in a fire in many ways) And - this is important - you think about how money is desirable and vital enough that even the smallest possible increment, the lowly penny, is still worth handling and saving and spending in a planned and disciplined fashion. You THINK about that. Then you go about your life. But as you do so, you pick up and pocket every single penny you see. Pennies are worth so little, that we would often rather dump one in the garbage than pick through the dustpan to save it, but that’s not you anymore. Now, you will cross the street to pick one up out of the gutter if you see one. You’ll still put your change in the tip jar, but you’ll hold back the pennies. The more crazy into this you are, the stronger the spell… top-tier witches doing this spell would wade waist deep in cow poop to acquire a single shit-stained penny. You’re on a mission. You’ve made a promise. And you’re witching. When you get home with these pennies, at some point you’ll put them in the container on your altar. Each time you do, because of how brains work, you’ll be reminded of your promise. You’ll see your vision of overflowing coins again. You’ll imagine how fun the wishing fountain is going to be, or how delicious the cake is going to taste. And - this is important - you’ll think about how money is so desirable and vital that that even the smallest possible increment is worth handling and saving and spending in a planned and disciplined fashion. It may take you weeks to fill the container. It may take you months. But when you are done, when you have completed your vow, dispense the pennies as you planned. Don’t forget to give it extra time here. Look lovingly at the vision you have manifested, at the overflowing container when you have filled it. Feel the weight of it. Count them, roll them, recognize specific pennies that look different, think about pennies you collected in memorable ways. Fill yourself with pride and satisfaction, and carry that feeling with you to the fountain, to the dessert shop. Let your planned activity at that place magnify those feelings, reinforce those feelings. This is the culmination of the spell, the fireball leaving the tip of the wand -- experience the wonder and power of what you have done. See, true witching is, at its heart, extremely practical. It’s just a way for a human being to use intuition to reach truths housed in the dark mystery of our beings that science is only recently able to shed some light on. Things like how wearing clothes you perceive as “tough” will actually make you produce more “tough” chemicals like testosterone and adrenaline (according to studies that measured hormone levels of people switching between wearing leather jackets and pink dresses) or how if you BELIEVE a substance is medication, it can have some curative effects even if it’s just a sugar pill (placebos). Witching is often just working with these realities without access to detailed knowledge of all the science behind it.

Anyhow, when this spell is done, you will see money differently. Your spending habits will be different. You’ll think about money differently. Throwing your change in the tip jar won’t be a mindless activity, and maybe it makes you realize how little you’re actually putting in there and you wind up spending more money on tips than you used to - that’s okay, that’s good, the fact is, the thing you are doing with that money, how you chose to allocate your change from buying a cup of coffee, that is no longer an activity that you don’t really pay attention to; you put thought into it now. Money will have more value, now that not only are you WILLING to pick though dirt for a single cent, but it is actually habit to do so if you see one. Now something is no longer “just a dollar” it is ONE HUNDRED CENTS, and you have a visceral understanding of how much each of those cents is worth to you. And - this is important - you have completed an exercise in money management, wherein you dedicated to a planned expenditure, saved up the necessary funds, and followed through, laying paths in your neural network that take long enough to become habit and end in reward experience (it doesn’t have to be cake, simply completing your plan will give you the reward feelings, like finishing a video game level). You did this without having to change your finances, expenditures, or budget. It was just pennies, it wasn’t like when you try to save for a vacation and the saving is like a new bill you struggle to pay. This fit into your budget like it was nothing. Like it was extra money from nowhere, like it was… magic. The effects will keep spreading, rippling, transforming your life, your RELATIONSHIP with money will have been transformed, in a way too big to fully understand all implications - maybe people see a change in how you are with money and become more likely to trust you with it, more willing to loan you some when you need it. Maybe this will have filled you with ideas for other money management goals and the confidence to see them through and who knows where that will lead you? There is so much mystery and interconnection in this universe, the effects may well be long lasting and incredibly impactful. And that’s how a witch does a money spell. imo. Obviously, if you’ve read the first part of this post, you know I’m not saying this is how all magic works, or that there is no true mystery -- after all, did i not get suddenly taken to a casino for 15 minutes one morning so Grandma could win that poker jackpot with a royal flush in clubs that her late husband told her about in a dream? Clearly there is a great mysticism in the universe. But in my experience, much of the day to day experience of life and magic for a witch is rooted in practical practices.

Now go have fun darlings, and make magic happen

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Serendipity (C.B) | Chapter 13

Summary: Serendipity: (n) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Popular youtuber Isabella Hart, known as Bella to her audience, bends over backwards to separate her youtube life from her private life. Known for her overall clean content and her bubbly attitude, Isabella has a wild side to her that only those inside the youtube community know about. When Bella meets Colby during one of the trap house parties she finally meets someone she can be her genuine self with. When trouble arises after their meeting, will Bella be able to hand the pressure or will she destroy her relationship with Colby as well as herself in the process. [This starts in 2018]

Written: 2019

Word Count: 3,065

Warnings: swearing and suicide

(I  put a **trigger warning** right before the triggering part of the chapter and **trigger warning over** at the end of that part so you can read around it)

Serendipity Masterlist

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Colby asks for the millionth time.

My mother asked to meet with me. When I told Colby, he was worried that something would happen like last time and he wouldn't be there to protect me. After texting back with my mother she assured me that it was only going to be the two of us. She even suggested meeting at the diner we used to go to when I was little. I only agreed because of that. I have a lot of good family memories that don't include my father at the diner it brings me some comfort that this will go well.

"Babe, it's fine. Just come over in like two to three hours and we can hide from the world together." I reassure him.

The leak only happened three days ago. I've spent the past two days locked in my apartment. I refused to see or speak to anyone. Colby only partly obeyed my wished. He stayed at the house to give me my boundaries but he would still text and call me constantly to check on me. I needed a few days alone to try to process everything and I can't do that properly if Colby is cuddling with me all day; that would only make me forget about my problems.

"Okay, I'll come over soon. If you aren't there I'll let myself in and wait for you."

"That's fine. I'll see you later."

I open the familiar door to the diner. It looks the same as it did years ago. Suddenly, I'm nine years old again and my mother picked up my brothers and me early from school to take us to the doctor's office for check-ups. I spot my mother familiar brown hair. A small smile appears on my face. Maybe this the time will be different. As I walk closer to her I make sure to hide my smile.

"Hello, mother," I say as I sit down across from her. She looks up from her phone and her seemingly constant disappointed face does not disappear.

"Isabella, I can't stay long." She says as she puts her phone away.

"Then, why did you say to meet at a diner? We could have met at a Starbucks or—"

"We saw those pictures and videos of you." My mother says flatly. She barely makes eye contact and stares mostly at her cup of coffee before looking at me. No, it's more like she's looking through me.

"Y-you did? What do you mean by 'we'?"

"All of us, your cousin was the one to tell me. The entire family has seen them at this point. We also heard about you being fired from your management company. " What she doesn't say but I know she means that everyone has seen them including him.

"The situation is more complicated than you think. I didn't know about them being taken."

"Do you really think I would believe a single thing you've said after what you've put this family through?" Her eyebrows furrow but she speaks in a hushed voice.

"Excuse me?" My slightly raised voice only seems to anger her more. She gives me a look that warns me to be quiet.

"After you... spread those lies about what your father was doing to you, that damaged our family image."

"I didn't lie. They actually did happen. Why would I—why would anyone lie in detail about that?"

"I've read about girls like you who lie about things just to get attention or because something is wrong mentally. We gave you enough attention growing up so it must be the latter."

"I have never lied to you in my entire life." My voice is low but my voice is strong enough for her to hear the seriousness in my tone.

"So secretly moving out of the house on your 18th birthday and tell me you were going to be out with friends isn't lying?"

"I had to get out of there. I had to put myself first and leave before things got worse."

"I don't remember raising such a selfish whore."

That stung. I pause for a second trying to call myself down.

"I needed a way to numb the pain and block out what was happening at home. I couldn't talk to anyone and that's my fault. I didn't want Joey and Benji to be pulled out of the house and have their lives ripped apart. I didn't want you to have to lose all three of your kids as well as your husband. Even when I was going through all that I put you and my older brothers first. I should have told grandma or a teacher or anybody else."

"Stop fixating on the story you created in your head. Your father is a great man who would never lay his hand on any child, especially his own daughter."

"You know what mom, for your sake I've been dancing around this because I didn't want to cause you more pain than this information. But I'm going to say it because it is no longer healthy for me. He raped me, mom. Repeatedly for six years, dad raped me in my own bedroom at night when you were fast asleep. Before that, for as long as I could remember, he molested me almost daily. I know that you don't want to believe it and that's it hard to believe but it's true. He threatened me to avoid me from saying anything and when I finally got the courage to tell someone, you didn't believe me. You called me a liar and told everyone in the family that I was mentally unstable and told them not to believe me if I told them what was happening at home. Now you're going to sit here, in one of the places that I have so many happy memories, and do it all over again?" My mother looked taken aback by my words.

As she is about to open her mouth to reply the waitress comes over to the table and places a water cup in front of me. She looks between my mother and I. Maybe she could sense the tension between us and tried to defuse it. Maybe she's worried that we're just going to sit here and not order. I turn to her and nicely say we're fine. I turn back to my mother and see that her expression of shock and hurt have not left her face. The waitress leaves and my mother clears her throat and sits up straight.

"Don't call me that?" She says suddenly.

"Don't call you what?" I ask confused.

"Mom or mother or any other variation of the word."

"I don't—"

"When I asked you to meet with me, it was to tell you that you are no longer welcomed as a member of the family."

"Excuse me? You're kicking me out of the family?"

"You're behavior as of late has been unacceptable. Accusing Steven of such things was horrendous and traumatizing for all members of the family. To find out that you've been running around Los Angles like a slut and spreading your legs for any boy with a cute face and partying doing God knows what else is where we have to draw the line. Think about your brothers, who are actually in college trying to do something with their lives? Or your cousins? Your aunts and uncles? You think that just because you're rich enough to ruin your life you can ruin all of ours? We've had enough. You're dragging all of us down with you and tarnishing our family name in the process. I should have aborted you when I had the chance."

"I wish you had, not being born at all would probably have been better than being born into this shit show. Not that you'd care but do you know how many times I almost killed myself before I told you about what was happening? Or how much those thoughts multiplied when you told me that I was lying? Just to make things easier for everyone, I thought it would have been better to die."

"Maybe you should have, you would have saved everyone from going through all that you put us through." I stare at her in disbelief as she brushes off what she just said and reaches into her purse to grab her wallet. I quickly pull at mine and grab a $20 bill and a $50 bill. I slam the $20 bill on the table in front of her.

"No, no Lisa. You invited me out, the least I can do is pay for your coffee. Keep the change." I say flatly before getting up to leave. Before walking out of the diner I place the $50 bill in the tip jar. If they had to watch that loving family moment, they might as well get a tip from it.

When I walk out of the diner I'm visibly shaking. My face is dry and it's like my body is about to burst from all the pent up emotion. I try my best to keep it in because the last thing I need is for KeemStar talking about me having a mental breakdown in public. My head isn't even controlling my body anymore. I start walking and don't stop until I'm inside a small liquor store. I walk around mindlessly for a few seconds replaying the conversation in my head over and over again.

When I snap out of it I'm in the section with medical supplies. I eye a bottle of sleeping pills and hesitate before picking it up and walking to the counter. The woman at the counter scans my bottle not even paying attention to me. While she does that I quickly order an uber to take me home.

"Anything else?" She asked, probably wishing I don't so she can go back to doing whatever she was doing before.

"...Yeah, give me a bottle of vodka. I don't care which one." I say as I pull out my debit card. For the first time in my life, she doesn't ID me. She just looks at me for a second and then goes and gets a bottle from behind her before finishing ringing me up. Maybe her day is going just about as great as mine is and she doesn't care either.

When I walk out of the liquor store my Uber was already waiting for me. It isn't until I sit myself down into the car that I realized I bought. The rational part of my brain that usually tells me to stop doesn't. It agrees with the irrational me. Or maybe, the rational part of me is the one controlling me right now. My own mother agrees and mother knows best I guess.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

When I get into my apartment that's when all hell breaks loose. I close and lock the door and slide my back against it and cry and scream. Not only are the emotions I was holding from the conversation with my mother surfacing, but it feels like every single emotion I've ever felt is making an appearance too. I made up my mind in the car that I was going to go through with it. The whole time there was a little part of the rational side of me that kept thinking about Colby. I couldn't do this to him or anyone else the little family that I made with his friends over the past few months. But another part of me argues that I always put others before me my whole life, I deserve to put me first for once.

After calming myself down a bit I managed to get myself off the floor and placing the two bottles on the coffee table before getting a few things from my room. I walk out of my room and placed what I grabbed on the coffee table too. I wipe my tears and examine everything in front of me. I grabbed the notebook where I document everything about mine and Colby's relationship, a piece of paper, a pen, and an envelope. I can't make the biggest commitment of my life without letting Colby know how I feel and how none of this is his fault.

After pouring all my feelings and thoughts for Colby I scribble his name on the envelope and tuck it into the notebook. I took a few shots from the vodka bottle before tearfully taking small handfuls of the sleeping pills until the bottle was finished. I sat on the couch with the vodka bottle in one hand and my phone in the other. I continue to take sips; the taste seems to be numb to my mouth but still burns my throat as I force it down. I scroll through pictures of Colby that you have in your camera roll. I want his smiling face to be the last thing I see before I die. He's not going to be smiling when he finds out but this is how I want to remember him. As I scroll I see that Colby is calling me. Without thinking I answer the phone.

"Hello?" I say slowly.

"Hey babe, I'm walking up to your apartment right now. Are you home yet?" I can hear the happiness in Colby's voice as he speaks on the other end. Part of me starts to feel sad.

"Y-yeah." I choke out. I start crying more than I was before.

"How did it go with your mom?"

"Colby... I fucked up...I'm sorry... I made a mistake." I couldn't help but slur a bit. The tears are falling faster as I thinking about Colby finding me and my last memory of Colby won't be a happy one.

"What are you talking about? Are you drunk?"

Before I could say anything Colby suddenly appeared in front of me. I start crying harder, this wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want him to see you like this. To make matters worse I feel myself slowly slipping. I'm going to die in Colby's arms and ruin his life.

"Hey, why are you crying? What happened?" Colby says as he takes the bottle out of my hand and tried to wipe my tears.

"Colby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I cry out. My voice barely making it out of my throat.

"Speak up. I can't hear you and I want to help."

"Notebook..." Was all I could say while pointing behind him. I wanted him to get the notebook but I also wanted him to see the empty bottle next to it. I started slumping down on the couch. My eyelids were getting heavier with each passing second. This is not how this is supposed to go. I watch as Colby looks at me confused. He turns around and picks up the notebook. Before he turns back around he slowly picks up the pill bottle.

"Isabella... You didn't... Oh, fuck." I watch as Colby drops the notebook and pulls out his phone.

"I'm...s...sorry" I mumble out.

"Fuck! Izzy, don't close your eyes— Hello..." Everything drifts off into peaceful darkness.

**TRIGGER WARNING OVER**

****

I wake up to the sound of a constant beep. I open my eyes and quickly shut them due to the brightness of the room. I try to rub my eyes but both of my hands are tied to something. I open my eyes to see white, fluffy fabric around both of my wrist. For a second I'm confused but then everything comes back to me. The leak, my meeting with my mother, Colby coming to my apartment early— all of it came flooding back. I examine the room and see a familiar brown haired boy sitting this his head in his hands.

"Col...by..." I whisper out. My throat feels raw and I can barely talk. His head perks up and he stares at me for a second. I can see that his eyes are red and so are his cheeks. His face is still wet with tears. It breaks my heart that I did this to him.

"You scared the shit out of me." He says while walking over to me. He stares at me for a second before going in to hug me softly, not in the near body crushing like he always does. He hugs me as if he were to apply too much pressure I would break.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop worrying about me for a second. Listen, I don't have time before they realize that you're awake and they kick me out. I just don't want you to freak out but they might try to put you on a suicide watch and I wouldn't be able to see you for about 72 hours. I'm going to write my number on you because you are allowed to call me. You probably already know my number but just in case you get overwhelmed I'll write it for you. They're going to talk to you first to see if you need to stay." Even now when I've hurt him in probably the worst way possible, he's still taking care of me. I look at his face and see the stress from who knows how long he's been waiting for me written all over it.

"Colby—" I'm cut off by a nurse who walks in and tells Colby it's time to leave. I feel tears stream down my face. I can't cover my face or wipe my tears and now I have to let Colby see me like this again.

He said they wanted to talk. To evaluate me for now. I might be worse off if I had to stay here for 72 hours. When I saw Colby's face I instantly regretted what I did. The look on his face when he found me and the state that he was in, I instantly regretted my decision and I hated myself more for even doing it. I never wanted to hurt Colby. Somehow, at that moment, I thought that it would hurt Colby less if I left him a letter. As if a letter would make up for my lack of living. I would have given up on more than myself if I actually died. I would have given up on Colby, my friends, my education, everything I wanted for my life.

[heyyyharry]

Hi Allie, I recently lost my best friend to suicide. He meant so much to me and I’m going through the grieving process but it’s definitely not an easy time. I was just wondering if u could write a little peace about how h would comfort the reader in this kind of situation? Thanks so much and lots of love xoxo

I know it may be late but I’m deeply sorry for your loss. :( I’m sure your best friend was a very wonderful person, I hope he’s resting in peace now. I’m sorry that I took so long to reply to your message. Since this is a special request, I didn’t want to hurry and get it done so it’s done. I believe this means a lot to you, that’s why I took longer than usual to write it. It may not be the best because it wasn’t written from personal experience :( but I hope it doesn’t disappoint you my dear. Stay strong. If you need someone to talk to you can always inbox me. :)

…

“Love?”

You hear Harry’s voice as he opens the door and the light from the hallway floods into the dark bedroom you two share. Harry lets out a heavy sigh when he finds you sitting on the floor, with your back to the wall, and your knees to your chest. He can tell you’ve just finished crying and you’ve been crying for a really long time. It physically hurts him seeing you like this.

“You’re home early,” you mumble, wiping off the tears on your cheeks with both hands. Harry doesn’t answer. He walks to you and you really want to tell him to leave. Harry has enough to worry about already, you don’t want him to worry about you. But the thing is you just can’t do that. You need him now more than ever. 

You keep your eyes locked on Harry’s as he sits down next to you and carefully wraps his arms around your almost lifeless body, pulling you close.

“Your mum called me, she said you wouldn’t answer her calls.” He frowns. “She was scared that you…”

Harry doesn’t finish his sentence but you know what he’s going to say. You feel a deep pain coursing through your chest down to your spine. It actually hurts to talk about it or just even think about it. 

You’ve lost people you love before. Your grandma passed away just a few years ago. You were in school when you received the news and even though your grandma had been in the hospital for over a year then, it still came to you as a shock and caused you a great deal of pain. 

This time it came entirely unexpected. You didn’t believe it yourself when you got the call from your best friend’s mother. You were on the phone with him just one day ago and the next day he was gone. You completely broke down the moment that call ended.

“The funeral’s tomorrow…”

“I know.” You nod. “I’m not going.”

“Baby…”

“Harry you don’t get it!” you raise your voice and suddenly pull away from his arms, causing him to widen his eyes at you in surprise. “You don’t understand how I’m feeling right now. I’m still trying to take in the fact that my best friend is gone. I can’t be there to watch them lay him down in the ground…”

Your tears start flowing out again. Harry immediately holds you tight, lays your head on his chest and you fist his shirt for some kind of support.

“I know this is hard for you,” Harry speaks softly into your ear, “but don’t you think he would want you to be there?”

“I don’t deserve to be there, H…”

“Why would you say that? You meant a lot to Tyler, as much as he does to you.”

You slowly shake your head.

“He’s my best friend and I didn’t even know that he was having thoughts of doing it…” you sniff, your face buried in your boyfriend’s chest as he tightens his arms around your shoulders. “If I’d known, I could’ve stopped him, I could’ve saved him…”

“But you didn’t. You didn’t know. This is not your fault.“

“I feel like there’s so many things I could’ve done. I-I just, God. We were on the phone just one day before that day and I could’ve asked how he was feeling. I could’ve stopped him from doing that.”

“But you didn’t know, love. Nobody did,” Harry says and repeatedly kisses your hair.

“Why didn’t he tell me? I was his best friend…”

“He probably had his own reasons…” says Harry, his hand stroking up and down your back. “I understand that when we lose someone forever, we tend to wish we had done something differently or we hadn’t done something in the past. Same thing happened to me when I lost Robin. But we cannot go back in time and change anything. All we can do now is keep them in our hearts and carry on with our lives. Tyler would’ve wanted that for you. There’s nothing you can do or say now that could change what’s happened, but you can still make everything better for his family by showing up at the funeral baby.”

You press your lips together and stare down at how his fingers intertwine with yours.

“Will you come with me?” you whisper, but loud enough for your boyfriend to hear it.

Harry gives you a soft smile then nods his head. “Of course. Of course I will.”

…

You look at your reflection one last time and sadly give yourself a smile. You remember how Tyler used to tell you your closet looked like a funeral fitting because most of the clothes you owed were black. It was a harmless joke back then, now it’s too bittersweet to think about it.

You walk around the room to look for your purse. Once you’ve found it, you’ve also found something else, something you left on the table at the back of the room for two days now. 

It’s a letter from your best friend. His mom gave it to you. You haven’t read it because you were scared of what’s written inside. But now when you’re just a few hours away from his funeral, you think you should know what he wanted to say to you.

You grab the letter and sit yourself down on the edge of your bed. Your hands are trembling as you open the envelop and unfold the white paper which still smells like him.

Dear Y/N,

When you’re reading this, you’re probably mad at me. So first of all I want to apologize…

The voice inside your head is reading these lines in Tyler’s voice and suddenly you feel as if he’s still here with you.

…I’m sorry for all the things I could’ve said but I never did. You must be mad, which I understand, because I never told you what was going on inside my mind, all the things that led me to this big final decision. I just didn’t want to worry you or make you sad. So if you’re thinking this is partly your fault, it’s not; it’s never your fault, or anyone’s fault. Well, maybe it’s mine, I left you behind without saying goodbye to you in person. So consider this letter as my official goodbye. I hope this is good enough.

“Oh, Tyler..” you mumble as you read on.

The last time we spoke you didn’t know it was the last time, but I did, because that was why I called, just to hear your voice one last time. When you began talking about how Harry was coming home soon and how excited you were, how much you loved him, I knew I could count on him to take care of you after I left. Harry’s a good person, please don’t let him go.

It’s okay if you never forgive me for what I did, you’re allowed to be mad, but please know that I love you and I’m very sorry. I’m sorry I’ll miss our graduation and I won’t be there on the day you’re getting married. But life goes on. I’m not asking you to forget about me, I want you to remember me, not through what I chose to do at the end, but through what we’ve accomplished together, like the night we went to prom as a ‘couple’ because nobody wanted to go with us, or the time we lied to our parents to make a trip to L.A. I want you to remember me through our happy memories and I want you to live your life to the fullest. 

You have a family who loves you, other friends who love you, and a boyfriend, who I’m sure would run into a burning building for you because he loves you THAT much (though I hope this scenario won’t ever happen)…

You roll your eyes and chuckle.

…, and then me, you’ll always have me, no matter where I am, I’m always gonna be with you. So, Y/N, thank you for being the bestest best friend a guy could ever ask for. Andddddd I love you very much.

Your best friend,

Tyler. :)

A tear rolls out of the corner of your eye and makes its landing onto the page and blurs out a word. You sit there, staring at your best friend’s handwriting for a whole minute, and you’re smiling to yourself, while thinking of him.

“Baby, our car is here.”

You suddenly turn to the door and see Harry. Hurriedly, you hide Tyler’s letter into your handbag and stand up to make your way to your worried boyfriend. You don’t know if he saw you reading the letter or not, either way, he doesn’t question you about it. 

“Are you feeling okay?” asks Harry as he holds your face between his palms. You say nothing and immediately press your lips to his, which surprises him at first, but he still kisses you back. You two finally pull away and you keep your eyes locked on his.

“I love you so much. Do you know that?” you tell him. Your fingers are locked in his hair, his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

“I love you too baby, more than I can put into words,” says Harry. “But we should really get going now if we don’t want to be late.”

You nod. A small smile forms on your face. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

[bugheadfamily]

Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

This week the spotlight is on Cat ( @shibbycat ), our newest admin! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones | Graphic by Katie, @betty-cooper

Cat | @shibbycat

Name: Cat 

Age: I’m old enough to own a Sega Genesis bought in a store the year it was released, and yes. I still play it. 

Location: Northern Italy for the time being, but I’m prone to moving quite bit. 

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: I can do some conversational Spanish, and I can have Eric (my husband) tell me what you’re saying in Russian.

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: What gave you the impression that I like Riverdale or its ships? JK. Shockingly, I’m all about that Bughead. ALL about it. I care about most of the characters & their successes/failures… with Betty, Jughead, Veronica & Cheryl in the lead. 

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: Wow. Talk about a Sophie’s Choice. Here goes nothing. I legit yelled at my screen during The Look in 1x02, “omG. IT’S HAPPENING.” My childhood ship was exhumed. Best day. The dynamic between Jughead & FP in 1x07 rang particularly true to me. I also took away that Jughead talks about Jellybean like she’s his kid, not his sister. It guts me every single time. The end bit where Betty & Jughead walk away together really demonstrated how close they already were as a couple. Bonus for that being the scene where it clicks with Archie his two best friends were 5000% together, & their friendships was never going to be the same. It’s a small moment but I love it. Picking one thing from Season 2??? Co-Presidents. The absolute equality in their relationship was so perfectly on point here for me. The support and respect for one another was on display in blinking neon lights. WAIT. The hospital scene. I can’t leave it off. Jughead “I’ll never stop loving you” Jones almost gets murdered & only feels bad about not being there for Betty. All that matters to Betty is Jughead getting better. Plus, down-the-face kisses. I can’t with these two. 

What are your hopes for S3?: I’m really hoping to see more of a focus on the friendships. I want to see them all work together in general & specifically, to defeat Hiram. We got to see an entire season of Hiram doing nothing but succeeding in his various nefarious causes & successfully pitting Bughead/Varchie against one another. Seeing his takedown at the hands of those whose lives & relationships he thought destroyed as they’re instead working together? Yes. Very yes. I’m of course beyond stoked for the Bughead Detective Agency & them working/growing together in their relationship & lives. Some actual fun times would be great to see. Yano, ones that don’t end in someone getting murdered or going to jail.

Other fandoms you’re into?: Besides Riverdale, I only exist in lurker status (thanks anxiety!) for fandoms, but I lurk(ed) super hard in Harry Potter (Except that I’ve totally written terrible HP fic. Really happy no one’s going to read this to know that), Reylo, Doctor Who, & Sherlock.

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: Besides the obvious, just about everything Disney touches owns my pocketbook, dedication & continued attention. Parks & Rec, The Office (both UK & US), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gilmore Girls, Doctor Who, Star Trek: TNG, & Sherlock are all shows I can watch on repeat. I’m not even going to start on non-Disney movies, because I’ll be here all day.

Favourite books?: This is literally the most difficult question to answer, because books are life. I’m going to keep it brief & say “Harry Potter.” They changed my life, they saved my life, & they’re always there to welcome me home.

Favourite bands/musicians?: Favorites are so hard. I like a little something from most genres of music, but I can never turn off classic Elton John, BSB (I had full plans to marry Kevin as an 11 year old), Linkin Park, John Williams, Lady GaGa, Guns n Roses, The Killers, or Queen. Big picture wise, I’m particularly attached to Classic Rock, practically anything 80s, late 90s/early 2000s pop (I still know all the choreo to Bye Bye Bye & Oops... I Did It Again), The Great American Songbook, classical music, popular songs converted classical arrangements, and I’m a sucker for 1960s/70s R&B/soul. Long story short, I make a lot of playlists. 

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: Harry Potter for sure. Wands which choose you. Broomsticks which get released like new car models. Owls which deliver mail anywhere. Portkeys/Apparating/Brooms/Floo powder making travel dirt cheap/free. Butterbeer & Pumpkin Juice. If it’s not clear, I’m really into Harry Potter. OH. I also did a HP LARP a few years ago in a Polish castle, & it was the greatest thing EVER. 

Favourite food?: Oh food. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Seriously. I travel around just to eat. Limiting to one kind? Mexican food. I could eat it everyday. 

Favourite season?: Fall/winter. First of all, I like to wear a GRIP of layers. I’m also a big fan of being lazy & putting a beanie on over my unstyled (often unbrushed) hair. I’m also VERY into Halloween & Christmas. I decorate for both with gusto. Christmas goes up in my house the same day it does at Disneyland: 10 November. I’m also obsessed with Christmas Markets. So many quality Halloween/Christmas films too! I have an entire list of mandatory watches every year. 

Favourite plant?: Really large sunflowers with the dark red/deep orange petals. Their seeds also demonstrate the Fibonacci sequence, and I’m a human who believes math is the most beautiful thing in the entire world. 

Favourite scent?: There’s something magical smelling about old books for me. I also really enjoy the way rain smells on dry pavement when it first starts falling.

Favourite colour?: It’s been purple ever since I learned how the Phoenicians made it when I was 9. 

Favourite animal?: Cats. All kinds & sizes...except Sphynxes. & unicorns. Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: Night owl/early bird. The insomnia is strong with this one. 

Place you want to visit?: I’ve been lucky enough to check a lot of places off my “must see” list, but Madagascar is still a life goal. OH! & to visit every single Disney park around the world. 

Do you have pets? If you do, tell us a little about them: Ah! Something I LOVE talking about. I have 3 incredibly spoiled cat children who want to cuddle all the time. That’s right. Cat loves cats. They’re all rescues, Maine Coons, and little characters to be sure. Their names are Dorcas, Knick Knack, & Elmo. We’ve had Dorky for 10 years and Elmo & Knick Knack for 9 years. Knick Knack likes to walk on a leash & paws at the door for his walk. Dorcas plays fetch with toy mice, and Elmo likes to cuddle so hard Eric is genuinely worried I’ll be suffocated by his snuggles. 

Tell us a little about yourself?: My grandma once told me that I’ve always known exactly who I am, even as a child, and I’ve let that sense-of-self guide me (not always to greatness mind you) every day. I’m an introvert with fairly crippling anxiety & depression, and I simply don’t care who knows it. If me being upfront about it can help anyone, I’m happy to do it. I’m hypercritical of myself & what I put out into the world. Being frank, honest, and sarcastic are how I say “hello,” but I’m also a firm believer in “don’t say something rude just to say something rude.” Tact is key. Encouraging people to find their own happiness & fulfillment in life are things which bring me joy. Likewise, I’d do pretty much anything for a friend, & if there’s something I can do to help them/help someone in their journey to find happiness in life, I want to do it. Uuuummm, I laugh so hard I cry a lot, and my eyeliner runs. It always makes people think I’ve been crying for real & filled with emotions. It’s awkward. I guess I’m creative? I like woodworking, pyrography, crafting, and making nerd stuff through those mediums. 

Fun or weird fact about you?: I entered my wedding reception to “The Imperial March.” It’s safe to say I’ve been a wee bit obsessed with Star Wars for longer than my Sega Genesis is old.

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This is the ninth instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

[dailyaudiobible]

09/24/2019 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 43:14-45:10, Ephesians 3:1-21, Psalms 68:1-18, Proverbs 24:1-2

Today is the 24th day of September. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is a joy to be here with you today to take the next step as we move deeper into this week and as we approach the end of this month and continue to take steps forward each day through the Scriptures. So, we’re continuing our journey through the book of Isaiah and we are continuing our adventure through the letter to the Ephesians as well as Psalms and Proverbs of course. And we’re reading from the Voice Translation this week. Today, Isaiah chapter 43 verse 14 through 45 verse 10.

Commentary:

Alright. Since we started this letter to the Ephesians we’ve been talking about, you know, wide open vistas, we talked about that a lot yesterday, these beautiful places in the world here you can encounter beauty so pure, so pristine, so vast that it's almost like you're not looking at something real. It’s like it's too good to be true and like at least for me that’s just like how the book of Ephesians reads. We just keep going up and up and we come to these vistas and it’s like we can drive right by the vista or we can park and go like, “this is gonna take a long while for me to sit here and soak in the implications of what's being said.” So, in the letter today, Paul says, “specifically, the mystery is this: by trusting in the good news the Gentile outsiders are becoming fully enfranchised members of the same body, heirs alongside Israel and beneficiaries of the promise that has been fulfilled through Jesus the anointed.” Alright. So, that's a verse in the Bible but it was a sentence in a letter and that sentence applies to every believer in the world Jew and Gentile alike. And the promise that's given here is the riches of God's blessings. So, we can sit here at this vista and go, “that is a beautiful thing and I need to think about that” but why would Go…I mean like…seriously…like I know myself and hardly ever can figure out why God would be so gracious to me, right? I mean, don't feel that way? Like, why would He? I don't deserve that. I'm thankful. I'm grateful. I receive it as a gift…I’m humbled by it. I don’t deserve it but according to the letter to the Ephesians there's a reason and you better buckle up. Here’s what Paul says, “here's His objective”, meaning God's, “here’s God's objective. Through the church, He intends now to make known His infinite and boundless wisdom to all rulers and authorities in heavenly realms. This has been his plan from the beginning, one that He has now accomplished through the Anointed one, Jesus our Lord.” So, have you ever thought about God's goodness and His offering this goodness, an eternal life to you, in part because it makes His wisdom known and displays its unseen realms.? Okay, you see, we are at a big picture vista of our faith that is vastly beyond us. And because of His goodness, according to Paul, “Jesus faithfulness to God has made it possible for us to have the courage we need and the ability to approach the Father confidently.” Like, I know that we read scriptures like that and hear that kinda stuff to the point that it does not impact us anymore. But since we’re going through and pulling off at all these beautiful vistas, we should understand we are talking about the only, the one true, the Almighty Creator, God of all things, everything that we think we know and everything that we for sure don't know, the God of all things. What Paul’s saying is, God has a master plan that is far bigger than we even are aware of, but He has come for us and freely welcomed us because we took Him at His word, we believed, we be put our faith in Him. He has brought us into His family, and we can approach Him confidently. Again, we’re talking about God, the God, I am that I am God. Think about the implications of knowing and being able to approach God, the only God, the Creator God. Like we can enter the presence of the Almighty God boldly and confidently as a son, as a daughter would with any loving parent. I…I don’t…I mean…what is better than that. Even Paul seems to not…like…he's…like…where do you go from there? And, so, Paul prays a prayer today just embracing all of that. And let's go back over…let’s go back…let's pray. Let's pray the prayer of Paul today and allow that to begin to shape what our day looks like.

Prayer:

Father, out of Your honorable and glorious riches, strengthen we Your people. Fill our souls with the power of Your spirit so that through faith Jesus the Anointed One will reside in our hearts. And may love be the rich soil where our lives take root. May be the bedrock where our lives are founded so that together with all of Your people, we have the power to understand that the love of Jesus the Anointed One is infinitely long and wide and high and deep, surpassing everything anyone previously experienced. God may Your fullness flood through our entire beings. And we pray this from the Scriptures in the name of Jesus, the Anointed One. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, it’s home base, and it's where you find out what’s happening in and around the community. So, be sure to stay tuned and connected.

The Prayer Wall, of course, is at dailyaudiobible.com is a continual resource to pray and to be prayed for. So, stay connected there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in our shared mission to continue to bring God's spoken word read fresh every day to anyone who will listen to it anywhere, anytime, and to keep the global campfire burning so that we experience this together in community and know that we’re not walking the journey alone. If that is his life for you then thank you for your partnership and being life-giving and to the Daily Audio Bible. So, there's a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill, TN 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment there are a number of ways to reach out. A great one would be the Hotline button in the app, the little red button. You just press it and start talking. Or there are numbers, phone numbers that you can use depending on where you are in the world. In the Americas 877-942-4253 is the number to dial. If you are in the UK or Europe 44-20-3608-8078 or if you are in Australia or the lands down under 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, DABbers this is Sherry Running Desperately to Jesus. I’d like to pray for the young man that called in. God, it is amazing to me and it touched my spirit and brought me to tears God that this Young man Father has taken the step, Father to not only call in Father but to also pray for his enemies Father. God we are so quick to pray for our friends and our family Father, but hardly do we pray for our enemies Father. And its even more difficult Father for us to even pray a prayer for them that their heart be touched Father and that the turn toward You Father. Father, if he knows, if he remembers that no weapon formed against him shall prosper God and if he can also remember that if You are for him that nobody can be against him. God cover him with Your blood Father. Protect him when he comes in the presence of those other children Father. Let them see something about him Father that they don’t even know how to explain Father. You have something over his life Father, a calling for him. God, I thank You Father for this Young man taking the time Father to call in and speak good things towards his enemies and not wish bad things Father. God, I praise You, I bless You, I magnify You, I lift You up because You are the all and all. Father, and when You’re there nothing Father can harm him. God I would love to be present when You bring him to the walking that You’re planning for him Father, whatever the life his Father that You have planned for him Father we know that he’s going to include You in it. Your holy __ name. Amen.

Hello this is Ava I would like you to pray for my grandma because she’s super super sick.

Hello this is Luanne calling from New York City. I’m calling to pray for Wade the retired veteran who lives in Japan. I just listened to your testimony Wade and I pray that God lays upon you the sustainability that you need, the finances, the love in your heart to know that you are a wonderful person. You have devoted your life to this country and I’m so happy to be saying a prayer for you this morning Wade. Wade please hang in there. Know that God loves you. Know that the best is yet to come. Know that you will have the finances to make it back to America to see your mother. I pray blessings on your relationship with your son. Your father…your fathering is wonderful. You’re going to reunite with your son. You’re going to be the best father ever. He’s going to appreciate you. Lord, I pray that God just envelops you and gives you the love that you need in your heart to know that your wonderful and your worth all that he’s put you on this earth to be. Please don’t be discouraged Wade. In Jesus’ name I pray blessings upon you. Amen.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family this is Heidi calling from Minnesota. Today’s September 21st and as I listened this morning my heart just broke for two of our family members, Keira from Denver and Wade from Japan. And I just want to pray for them. Father God You are good. I thank You so much for this day that You’ve giving us, the blessing of a new day and that Your mercies are new each morning. Your grace is like a flood. You are so good. Lord when we go through hard times You are always there with us. You walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death. So, Lord I just pray that You would wrap Your arms around both Wade in…Wade in Japan and Keira in Denver. God, they are feeling alone, they are suffering, they are…they have challenges with their children and Lord You are with them. Would Your Holy Spirit please just make Your presence known to them? God, may they remember that they are loved, and they are loved by all of us out here listening and praying. They’ll love so much but You. God, I pray for people that would come into the life that would be encouraging to them and Lord that You would just fill their heart with hope and joy, and I ask these things in Jesus’ name. Thank You so much. Jill, Brian, this ministry is amazing, and I pray that you will continue…you will endure for many years to come. Have a great day everyone.

Hello Daily Audio Bible this is Lisa calling from Sweden and this is the first time that I’m calling, and I’ve been listening to Daily Audio Bible for over five or six years now. And this changed…this has changed my way of reading the Bible and I’m so so so happy and I’m part of this community and it’s so touching to hear all of you guys calling in to say your prayer requests. It’s really touching my heart. And I do have one prayer request myself now and it’s in my relationship with my boyfriend. And I know this sounds silly, but we really don’t know which way to go. Should we continue and get married or not? And it’s actually extremely confusing and we have a lot of doubt and a lot of fights going on. And I know this may sound silly, but I really need God pointing the way right now because I don’t know at all and he doesn’t know and we’re so busy but I would just like you to pray that I will hear the voice of God now because I really need it. And thank you so much guys for praying. I love you so much. And have a wonderful day. Bye.

Hi, this is Carmen from Germany again. I just listened to Brian’s reading September 21st and I heard the call and the prayer request from Wade in Japan. Wade I just want you to know I was just so touched by your openness, your request for prayer and the trust you have that we are all praying for you in a community that is…we don't even know what we all look like, at least the ones that haven't gotten together, but I just thank you so much for calling in. Not only am I moved to pray for you and lift you up and I have already immediately , but it makes me realize all the little things that I feel so bad and so hurt about just seem so diminished by the pain that other people are having. So, I just wanted to thank you for calling in. I want to encourage you to know that there are so many people out here praying for you now in this community, people…I don't know how many…hundreds…maybe thousands. And Wade we lift you up. And don't let the enemy tell you that you’re a bad father, that you're terrible. Don't let him take you down. Continue to look to the Lord daily, daily for your strength, for direction. And Wade I'll keep you in prayers and I know what people will too. And I just want to, yeah, send you a virtual hug and tell you that we love you brother and we're all praying for you and we’re knowing that God is taking care of you and that you're in his hands. Thank you so much for calling in and letting us know how you are doing and that you need prayer. And have a great day Wade. We love you.

[suckerforhobi]

Melancholy

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader (2nd POV)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: You almost only met him at funerals and weddings. You and he had several common points in your lives and you wanted to keep him as close as possible.

The first time you met the boy was when your paternal grandmother passed away, and her funeral was held, your eyes almost popped out when your father brought his new female companion - and the woman’s son with himself, whom no one knew in your family, not even your aunts and uncles.

Your family life was a mess but year by year, you had nothing else to do but accept it. Your parents divorced during the very first school year in your life which gave you a huge heartbreak at the tender age of 6, you could hardly recover from the memory of your dad tearing off the door and leaving you with two suitcases in his hands and your mother crying face which broke your heart even more. Looking back, years later you shouldn’t have been that shocked - they fought a lot, your dad came home too late and spent too much many. Your father didn’t act like an adult. Your parents were each other’s first love and you came when they were both so young, freshly graduated from the university. Still, your heart ached when you thought back to other kid’s parents - they were in love, they had mutual programs like visiting the zoo. That wasn’t the case with your eonma and appa - they loved each other but not that way anymore, the atmosphere tensed around them every single time.

Your father kept visiting you as much as he could, being a lawyer, he was pretty busy, not to mention he was living in another city. He supported you as much as he could, paying your mom every month the child support. Then, your father didn’t see you that much but still called every week. You missed him terribly but you knew he had a hard job, you wouldn’t hurt him.

That day you felt like you were betrayed. He didn’t see you because of that woman? Was she more important than you, his own daughter?  Did he spend time with her son instead of you? The 15-year-old yourself was beyond angry when you saw how much he cared about the two persons with him but not with his daughter who was few meters away. You cleared your throat in annoyance and your father turned to see you. He had a huge smile on his face. You had a couple of negative feelings towards your father. A new family and he missed you out? Why didn’t he tell you something about that?

“Hello, Birdie. I would like to introduce you to Hye and Hoseok.” You flinched when you heard your nickname your father gave you when you were a toddler. “Hye, Hoseok, she’s my daughter, Y/N.”

You were never impolite but deep inside, you would tell your father and his new chick with her son to get lost. However, it was your grandmother’s funeral and you wouldn’t have wanted to cause such a scene. She was an angel, she deserved a beautiful, peaceful goodbye ceremony.

“Nice to meet you.” You tried to sound as sweet as you could, it might hurt your soul to do that though you had no other choice. Hye who was the same sage as your dad and mom squeezed your hands and frowned.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I heard how much time you spent with your grandma. If you need anything and anyone to talk about, we are here.”

You nodded, giving them a smile which turned out to be more like a snarl. “Thank you, I’ll keep it in mind.”

You were inspecting the boy who did the same to you - his face had similarities with his mom’s, the timid smile he gave to you was identical to Hye’s. You would have been lying to yourself if you had denied the fact he was handsome. The way he looked at you was oddly comforting, despite knowing him for minutes.

“Y/N... are you free on on next week? We’ve bought a new house recently and you should see it yourself and we would decorate your room.”  

Your little heart was content. Your father maybe didn’t forget about you.

You found out more and more about both of your stepmother and stepbrother.  Hoseok was a few years older than you, he wasn’t a planned - how could he be when his mother was 17 when he was born? Growing up was surely hard for Hoseok, that’s why you weren’t surprised anymore how protective was your father of him. 

Hoseok was a graduating student from high school, you were surprised, he was so kind towards you, not the typical hormonal and cocky guy you thought he would be.  You two didn’t really meet often, just few occasions when he wasn’t with his girlfriend and you paid a visit to your father or at the wedding or funeral of your relatives.

It was the day of your dad and his mom’s wedding when you couldn’t keep your eyes off Hoseok - he was the most charming boy you had ever seen as much as you wanted to deny the fact. He was seated the opposite side of you, close to your parents. Your heart skipped a beat when he poked you gently.

“May I have a dance with you, sis?” His smile was contagious as you wore a matching one.”

“I would love to.”

The was the first time you were close to Hoseok, as you were now a 17-year-old teenager, your face was flushed but you still tried not to redden it more. His beautiful eyes, his warm smile, his comforting large hand resting on your waist.

“I never really said that but I’m glad I got a little sister.” He said softly, his eyes never leaving yours. From that moment, you knew he was the death of you. Luckily, his girlfriend’s whining turned you back to the real world, letting go his hand, to let them dance together.

“Y/N...” Your roommate called your name and you knew she plotted something for you. “I want to ask for something.”

You were nervous, if she asked for something, it never meant a good thing. 

“How can I help you, Haru?”

“Do you remember Park Jimin?” She asked and you nodded. Who didn’t know him? He was a popular guy, graduated a year after your first university year. He was a legend, many girls were the fan of his, worshipping him like he was a Greek God. Your roomie fell into this category, screaming every time his name was mentioned.

“I remember. What’s with him?”

“He asked me out on a date but he said his roommate has just broken up with his girlfriend, so he said we should go on a double date, he needs something to distract himself... and I thought...”

“I say yes but you owe me a lot.” You said and your goofy roommate suddenly pulled you into a tight hug, you felt your breathing becoming heavy as she almost choked you to death.

“You are the best.”

You spent on that October day hours on choosing your outfit for the night. You didn’t really have any fancy clothes, you didn’t really go out to have fun, instead of participating in some parties, you studied as much as you could. You were hard working and you hoped one day all your efforts would pay off. 

When you came out your room, Haru squealed like a proud mom when she noticed you in the red dress you had bought a year ago.

“Oh my God, Y/N, you look breathtaking! This dress is so lovely! I’m sure that guy would love it!”

You nodded, not believing her words entirely. Haru was almost like a sister to you, of course, she said nice words about your appearance.

“Where will we meet them?”

“Inside.” She replied happily and she was shining in happiness. You envied her,  she was always positive and cheerful, while you were so gloomy most of the time. This is who you were, the quiet, insecure bookworm. While she was a real Disney Princess.

Before you two entered the cozy Italian restaurant, you surely had imagined the mysterious guy Jimin brought with himself. Judging by his character, you trusted his choice, there was no way he would invite a boring, grumpy guy but a smiling and curious. But you never excepted to see someone you knew relatively well. Hoseok.

Both of you froze immediately, earning glances from Haru and Jimin.

“Do you know each other?” Jimin asked and Hoseok gave you a shy smile after hearing his friend’s question.

You wanted to tell the awkward truth but Hoseok was faster. “We are old friends.” 

You tried to be convincing enough, however, you didn’t really get it why Hoseok lied. Okay, he didn’t like exactly, you two had known the other for years but you were rather family than friends. Stepsiblings, to be exact. You guessed he said that to not upset your friends’ attempt to get a date for you.

“Is it true, Y/N?” Haru asked you with widened eyes, not really believing what she just heard.

“Yes.”

During the dinner, the four of you had a great time together but you were flushed as Hoseok never once took his eyes off of you, examining your face, waiting for your reactions. The faded crush from years ago that you thought of like a distant memory came back in once, making you confused. He was a forbidden fruit, a guy who off-limit, a platonic love. Still, you didn’t know how to handle when the dream boy of your youth was sitting with you on a date. On a date.

You had fun but you decided to go home earlier - your aim was to make Haru happy, your task was done. When you announced your leave, saying you are not feeling quite well, Hoseok stood up after you. “I’ll walk you home.”

The atmosphere was tensed between the two of you when you walked out of the building. You didn’t speak up but your brain was working on finding a possible, not awkward topic.

“We had a nice night, didn’t we, Y/N?” He asked smiling but not looking in your way.

“Yes, we had. It was good to see you again, not just listening to dad’s reports.”

“The same goes to you. I’m so proud of you, studying Psychology and you achieved your goals like a pro.”

Unlike Haru, you knew Hoseok would never tell you something he didn’t think seriously. His eyes were honest and you tried not to look in them, protecting yourself from falling for him too much.

“I tried my best.” You smiled sheepishly.

“Y/N. I want to meet you more, Sis. We are family and now I’m working and...”

“Of course, just text me and I try my best not to drown myself into studying.”

After that night you really met regularly, going to drink a cup of coffee together, or just hanging in the mall. Hoseok was in every time you called him up to meet and you reacted the same way when he wanted you to see your face. You never read anything more into those rendez-vous. You were just nothing more but brother and sister. Weeks turned into months, he quickly became the most trusted person in your life.

One day, everything changed.

“Will you go with me to meet my colleagues? We’ll have a small gathering and everyone brings a girl with themselves...” He explained laying his head in your lap, while you were sitting on your couch.

“Hobi, why don’t you ask the girl who lives in the same apartment as you?”

“Not my type.”

“The girl you were making out with at Jimin’s party?” You raised your eyebrows suspiciously.

“You will love this, she is engaged.”

“Noooooo. What a stupid chick.” You shook your head in disbelief.

“Are you free on this Friday?”

“I am.”

“Then we will go together there. Be pretty but not too pretty, I don’t want to chop off anybody’s di-”

You only responded by hitting his head with a pillow.

You got to know his friends beside Jimin, his colleagues at the I.T. company he started working not too long ago. The always grumpy but a soft guy, Min Yoongi and the incredibly intelligent Kim Namjoon, both of them brought their girlfriends who were happy Hoseok got himself a pretty cute girl (before you could tell you were related he once again stopped you from saying anything).

At the bar, you saw how everybody adored him. Indeed, he was the most amazing human being you had ever met.

He touched your hand, his body pressed to you, giving the warmth you loved.

You both drank but he surprised you when he put his lips on yours. You knew it was wrong, you panicked but you couldn’t push him away. It was a miracle, a dream, you thought. Then the loud banging music returned you to the real world, Hoseok still holding your lips as a hostage. That was when you realized... you couldn’t go back the way you used to be. You signaled him to let you go and he did but you could see the disappointment in his dark orbs.

You lied to anyone and you went home. It was a mistake. Stepsiblings should never do it.

You avoided him like plague afterward. You weren’t too happy when your dad and his wife, his mom had invited you to have a dinner together. You were scared, no, you were terrified. After a month, the pain remained, not healing like you prayed for. Hoseok caused you unintentionally a huge wound on your sensitive soul but you also harmed yourself as you ignored his existence. However, you had to stop your stupid, immature actions, for the sake of your family.

“Hello, Birdie.” Your father greeted you with a kiss on your forehead. Hye flew to the door to hug you and Hoseok was standing there, with an undetected expression. Of course, he didn’t cheer when he laid his eyes on you, he was surely upset with you.

“I missed you.” You said to them and you saw Hoseok turning away. He called you many times and you never once received his phone call, never replied to his messages on Kakaotalk. You wanted - God you really wanted - to answer him but you knew what had happened was wrong. 

The dinner went like the usual, his mom asking you about boys (you noticed Hoseok’s body stiffening), your father cracking the lamest jokes he’d heard in his life. You didn’t dare look him in the eye - you were afraid of the coldness in his usually shining pair.

When you went up to your room, your parents headed to the living room, Hoseok grabbed your wrist unexpectedly, making you almost scream out because of the sudden touch.

“Don’t go. We need to talk.”

You were ready to escape his grip but you missed him. You missed your stepbrother, who always made you laugh whenever you talked to me, who comforted you when you failed on an exam, he was there.

“What do you want to say, Hobi?”

“Don’t ignore me, like I am nobody to you!” He growled angrily, his unexpected outburst catching off your guard.

“Look, I needed time. It was wrong and we both know it!”

“Don’t say that you didn’t enjoy it, then you wouldn’t have responded the kiss.” His body was shaking as he was nervous and angry.

“The fact doesn’t change even if I did. We are family.”

You and Hoseok tried to ignore what had happened between the two of you that night. It was just a kiss nothing more but that kiss meant more to the both of you.You missed Hoseok like an alcoholic his favourite drink, you couldn’t ignore him anymore.

It was not long after the first few days of the new year when you woke up by a loud banging on the door. You groaned - you valued sleep as you could hardly fall asleep. You looked like a mad scientist with your messy hair but you opened the door.

Hobi was standing in your door, his eyes in tears. Your heart sank seeing him in that state but what he said burned into your memory for life. “Mom and Dad died.” You couldn’t breathe, collapsed on the floor. The man whom you loved the most and the woman you loved like your second mother were gone.

It was an accident on that winter day. Hoseok was the one whom they could call up. You couldn’t believe how he could remain sane - you felt like you were dead inside. Your mom visited you almost every single day, she told you also she lost one of the most important people in her life. If Hobi, Haru and your mom hadn’t been there, you surely would have fallen into depression.

But the only who exactly knew the loss was your step-brother. The tragedy brought you closer, you invited him over to sleepover beside planning the funeral. 

After the day of the funeral, you thought he would distance himself from you but he didn’t. He still wanted to talk to you, he still surprised you by giving little presents once in a while. One day you realized you couldn’t live without him by your side, in a way you should have never thought of.

“When will you admit you are in love with him?” Your mom rolled her eyes when she saw you texting with him. Involuntarily your lips stretched into a huge smile but it turned into a frown once your mother asked about him.

“Do you know about it?”

“Everybody can see how much you adore the other. Even your father saw it, Y/N.”

Your eyes widened, not believing your ears. “What?”

“Your father was a clever man and let me confess you something. We, the three parents talked about it one day and your father said he would feel strange. He got a son and the idea of dating with his blood, with his daughter...but trust me, as crazy as it sounds, Hye would have loved the idea of you two being together. But just think about that, your father wanted the best for you in all of his life. If that means you and him being more than step-siblings... Go for it!”

Later that night, after your mom left, it was your movie night with him.

You were watching a movie - you didn’t even remember its name as the movie was boring as hell - cuddling with him on the couch. Haru was staying with Jimin, so it was a perfect opportunity to ask him about his feelings.

“Hobi... I would like to thank you everything. Everything you did. You made my life better, you helped me through the darkest days.”

“Of course, that’s what brothers and sisters do.”

You frowned, sitting up to look at him. “I wanted to talk about us, too.”

He seemed surprised for a moment, unsure what to say to you. His silence pushed you further to talk. “I was thinking about the two of us. I loved that kiss and I love everything about you. I hate to admit but I’ve been in love with you since I was 15.”

He softly traced his fingers on your face. “You don’t know how much I love you. So would you give us a try?”

“I would.”

“Finally.” He pushed you down to his chest kissing you softly on your lips.This time you were sure you would never break the kiss. 

[tdrcharmschool4]

Charm School Homework #5: Mama Always Said I was Original… - Critiques

Kushboo, Luna, Marina, Nikita, and Ophelia are nowhere to be found, but we’ve found some new characters asking for critiques. Let’s see how they did!

Kushboo

Hi! My name is Granny Panny and at 85 years, I’m Delhi’s oldest MILF. I think that means I am modern, incredible-looking & fabulous. I support LGBVAUD rights also. Now I want to share my beauty and happiness with the world so I’m looking for friends on The Facebook , Instant gram as well as Grinder. Please be my friend ? I will teach you how to do yoga and bake you cakes for being my friend. If you will be my friend we will be soo happy and I will never ever leave you. Il love you for ever and ever and ever don’t worry. Here are some photos of me to keep in your heart. I can send you many many more. Can I have your number ? I love you. 

Analyse: KUSH. BOO. STOP SNATCHING ME BALD LIKE THIS. THIS is a character, and there are so many directions I can see this going for the test, so I really look forward to see what you do with that! The age makeup reads well, and I think the accessories really help to play up the “old person who thinks she’s cool” kind of vibe (aka Toni). I wouldn’t be mad at the hair being even rattier, but all in all, I really like what you have here. The fact that you’ve already got the humor of the character down in writing bodes well for the acting in the test. I can’t wait to see the full look and how this character is realized for the acting challenge!

Harper: I think you’ve got a really good start here! I got a sense of who your character was from your picture and bio, but I wish you had taken it to a draggier place. While I liked your aging effects, this is still a drag assignment! Sometimes you will be tasked with impersonating someone who doesn’t wear much makeup, and it’s important to adjust the drag makeup to fit the character (neutral shades, softer blends, etc) rather than to eliminate it entirely. So instead of doing regular old lady makeup, try using neutral colors, playing around with a more droopy cut crease, and adding sagging lashes to give off an older vibe while still maintaining a drag aesthetic. I would also like to see you refine the character a bit more, because right now there’s nothing separating her from a standard grandma stereotype. What makes her unique? You have all the materials you need here to put together a great character, and I’m looking forward to seeing your submission!

Luna

Latoya Toyota, formerly known as MariCruz Dominguez, is your every day girl from the hood. Her favorite activities include having herpes and being disowned by her mom. She’s single and is not ready to mingle because because “ese puto vato  El Cris” cheated and she doesn’t fucking play all that, cris why’d you do that Rebeca is a worthless piece of shit I’m the better sister. But, the thing that makes Latoya different, isn’t her personality, or her good heart; it’s that she’s been dead for 15 years. She died in 2002 when she finally caught on with the whole chokers trend, expect she wasn’t the smartest so she didn’t really grasp the whole “it’s not supposed to choke you” thing. But this minor detail doesn’t stop Latoya; after Hell FINALLY got service, she now is a devoted YouTuber that focuses on vlogging, lifestyle, and creamy beauty. She says “ Ey putas we didn’t have no beauty shit in the 90’s I had my Tia Cruz teaching me how to do a smoky eye so don’t fuken come for me cause love trumps hate” hell doesn’t bother either, as she’s had “a burn” since 1996 from Raul so the burn doesn’t really matter at all. Her hobbies now include, cutting a bitch for fun, looking for famous people in hell to get a pic, and living in eternal damnation. You can find a link to her patron below because fuck dude like she JUST started YouTube and it’s already ad hell like what the fuck also lol ad hell get it cause she’s in um. Anyway SUSCRIBE and SMASH that like button down below putas

Analyse: The first few sentences of your description, I was like “OH NO DON’T PLAY THAT CARD,” but then we got to the “she’s been dead the whole time” twist, and I was drawn in. I think makeup-wise, you can do more to show that part of the character and make it ooky-spooky, but right now, if I didn’t have your description, the pictures would just read very “stereotypical chola character.” I think the YouTuber character is going to be great to take into the challenge, because it immediately conjures up a very specific kind of image and personality. Really my biggest critiques going forward for the acting are to make sure that the look itself reads what you want it to and to make sure the humor doesn’t rely solely on stereotypes. Latoya might be a character, but we want to see Luna’s sense of humor shine through. Good luck on the test!

Harper: Hi Adore Delano Latoya! So first off, I liked how much detail you put into your bio. Even though your slutty chola ghost character was a bit all over the place, I still understood who this character was and where she was coming from, and I think she’ll give you a lot of options to be entertaining in the test. I will encourage you to make sure that your jokes are not getting repetitive, though… try to find ways to make her funny on multiple levels. Being a ghost leaves a lot of room for real subtle humor (can’t pick stuff up, pop culture references from 2002, etc), and I hope you will capitalize on that! I would like you to kick the look up a few notches, including brow coverage. I think you were probably barely alive during 2002, and so I really hope you’ll do some research into the fashion trends because I am an old bitch who remembers Y2K! It’s such a fun era of horrible fashion so I really hope you will take advantage of that. Nice work!

Marina

This is Susan Johnson-Johnson. Her mother and father had the same last name, but her mother insisted on hyphenating it. She also claims that her father is related to Dwayne the Rock Johnson, which is a bald headed lie as her bloodline is whiter than cottage cheese. Susan claims a lot of outrageous things and most of these tall tales are meth and tobacco induced. Being an ex prostitute due to her failing business, she is no stranger to a good drug. However, she’s very connected to spirituality and has a dream of running a successful tarot card business, which is why she wears her headwraps. I hope you enjoy my original character!

Analyse: Hi, Marina! I see some of the makeup critiques you’ve gotten being applied here, so it’s great to see that growth. The headwrap and fan add to the look and give it a level of interest, but I think my main probably with this submission is that this story is just all over the place in no sort of cohesive way. I think part of your challenge going forward into the test for this week is to make sure that you have a fully thought out and realized character, because right now, I’m not entirely sure who she is. When you only have a few minutes of video for the challenge, you don’t have a lot of time to spend introducing the audience to your character, so we want to be able to get that right away from the look, mannerisms, and personality of the character. I think you’re headed in a good direction, but for the test, I want to see you kind of clean up those loose ends and really give us a fully thought-out character in your submission. Good luck!

Harper: Alright, so I really enjoyed your biography, but I think there was a bit of a mismatch between your character’s description and her appearance. Before I read your bio, I assume that you were a part of a royal Court or a princess or something. From your description I would almost imagine some kind of hippie druggie chic (side note: tobacco does not get you high so I don’t know if that part makes sense), an ornate fan and sequins doesn’t really read meth-head to me. I do like the headwrap, but I’d like to see you wear a wig with it rather than use it as a wig replacement. Lashes and nails always, even for homework assignments.  I think you have a good head start for a character, but really make sure that you are putting the details in place. As always, the deans are here to give you feedback as your brainstorm if you need it. 

Nikita

Ophelia

I may look scary but I’m really nice, I promise!!! Hi new friends, my name is Misery but everyone just calls me ‘Chip’! For the most part, I like to spend my time helping as many individuals as I possibly can and adventuring!! Believe it or not through, I wasn’t always the happy go-lucky creature you see today though :( My ancestors originally descended from a demon many eons ago. Based on this, for generations, my tribe was subject to ridicule and fear from people on the surface, just based on our appearance! Can you believe that?!?! Eventually, they took their society underground, taking to steal from and enslave denizens of the surface world. I grew up experiencing and witnessing so much pain and misery but I always thought 'things could be different than this!’ Eventually, because of the horrible atrocities they committed, I saw my friends and family BANISHED by an unforgiving god, while they gave me a second chance if you will at life by being made to live on the surface! I wandered for a years trying to fit in with society and find my purpose, until one day I encountered a group of adventurers said to have been passing from village to village, helping people wherever they went and from there, I knew that was my call-….. Whoops! Sorry, I saw a butterfly with a broken wing and I wanted to heal it!!! :D ANYWAY! From then on, I’ve just been travelling from town to town, spreading good cheer and helping people!!! Whenever, I get sad or upset, I just think of the second chance that my friends and family didn’t get… :) Byeeeeee!

Analyse: Remember when I said I was excited to see where your creativity led you in this week’s challenges??? Because THIS is why I was excited! I think you’ve got a super creative concept here with the demons-for-an-ancestor-but-I’m-not-mean-I’m-nice character, and there’s definitely some storyline and drama that can come from just that. I think part of the challenge for you will be making sure that the character doesn’t read as very one-note in the video challenge, and make sure that we’re not just getting the same joke or idea over and over. For the look, I would love to see it feminized a little more. I know your art is a lot more blurred in the expression of gender and you’re not going for female impersonation or hyperfemininity as much, but the issue I’m seeing with submissions is that they can often read more “man with face paint” than drag, and while TDR is very much a place to explore and grow in that, The Real World™ isn’t always so open, and so before you have people coming for you and saying “that’s not drag,” you want to shut their mouths with your polish, execution, and creativity. Good luck on the test, and I can’t wait to see what you do with this character!

Harper: I appreciate you for trying something ambitious, but I think you missed the mark of the assignment here. I warned you about relying too heavily on a visual character, and I think you feel into that trap this week. The look of the character is not the important part of this assignment, having a well developed character that you will be able to act with in the test is. Almost all of your biography is background information on your character’s family history rather than telling me who your character actually is. I think it’s great that you are putting thought into that stuff, but it’s all extraneous when I still don’t really get a sense of your character on a complex level. Since you decided to go down this road, I will really want you to drag it up and not rely on body paint to be your makeup. Right now the prosthetics are a bit sloppy, and if you are giong to wear them I’d really like to see them refined. You can use hot glue to change the texture, or even adding painted effects. You’ve got your work cutout for you this week, make it work!

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #145 - ParaNorman

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #176.

Format: Blu-ray

1) It is with this film that Laika proves they were more than just a one hit wonder, that they could make a great film more than just once with Coraline. I’m glad they did, because now we’ve got four great films from the studio.

2) Whereas Coraline was Stephen King-esque in being atmospheric and creepy (almost German Expressionist), ParaNorman establishes that this is a different kind of macabre film. More the fun horror that marked the zombie movies of the 70s than the atmospheric haunts of Coraline. That is not to knock the film or even say it is better than Coraline, but instead to observe that they are different. This is mostly clearly established by the film within the film which opens ParaNorman, definitely made in the style of those old crummy 70s horror films.

3) Norman.

Just like with Coraline, Laika is able to craft a child protagonist who is - above all else - an honest representation of what is’ like to be an eleven year old kid. Norman doesn’t make any effort to hide the fact that he sees dead people and he faces ridicule for that everyday. Except he’s eleven! Eleven year olds are taught to not lie to adults, so why would Norman lie?

But more than that, Norman is a great representation of the “weird” kid. The kid who likes horror and old monster movies, the kid who exists EVERYWHERE in the world but doesn’t often see themselves represented in media (something which feeds their status as “weird”). Like most of these kids, Norman is largely kind but tries to keep to himself. It’s easier that way. Less people to make him feel like a freak. He knows how hard it is that no one listens to him, which makes his superpower being able to communicate to those who are often not heard (aka: dead people). But more on that later.

Norman is just a wonderful character and Kodi Smit-Mcphee does an excellent job as Norman’s voice actor. Like the writing, he is able to portray Norman honestly. No Breakfast Club-y “oh woe is me” stuff, just a quiet frustration from not being listened, from being written off as a freak time and time again. Smit-Mcphee is great in the part and I think Norman is better off by having the actor’s voice.

4) Norman’s family life is INCREDIBLY frustrating to me, but that’s the entire point. Both his dad and his sister are kinda jerks just because Norman’s weird. What’s so wrong with being a little weird? As long as you’re not hurting people. But again, it is a source of great conflict for the film.

5) Norman’s walk through town is uniquely imaginative, showing these ghosts not in a frightening but instead a fun and unique way. They each have their own character we understand in just a few seconds after meeting them. A great way to introduce us to his world.

6) Alvin just makes me…sad.

The total loser asshole who thinks he’s hot shit when really he’s just a moronic bully with an inflated ego of himself. The very existence of bullies like this makes me feel sad about their existence. (I don’t like bullies, can you tell?). Also how much of a tough guy are you if you’re named Alvin? Not to diss anyone with the name Alvin, but it’s not your typical bully name. That may just be the point though, as Christopher Mintz-Plasse (best known as McLovin in Superbad) is not your typically bully voice. In most of his early films, he was the character getting bullied.

7) I always appreciate creative ways of introducing necessary backstory to a film. This movie using the crummy school play to explain the Blithe Hollow witch and her curse is a nice, seamless, and entertaining way of letting us know information which is going to become VERY relevant later on.

8) Ah, Neil.

(GIF originally posted by @kpfun)

Neil is great. Another honest representation of a kid. In this case a kid who isn’t really bothered but the jerks. He knows who he is, he’s fine with who he is, and he’s not going to let anyone feel bad about it. He’s also IMMEDIATELY nice to Norman and throughout the film he is consistently loyal to him, always listening to what his friend is saying. He also just accepts the fact that Norman can see ghosts, without question and without judgment. I really like Neil. I think we all need to be a bit more like Neil.

9) Uncle Prenderghast.

John Goodman has a brief but memorable role as Norman’s Uncle Prenderghast, who can also see ghosts. HE is able to play Prenderghast’s sense of crazy quite well, coming off as wonderfully unkempt AND giving us our best earliest flavor for the film’s sense of humor.

[Uncle Prenderghast dies, his spirit starts to leave his body, then the spirit comes back to his body and he sits up.]

Uncle Prenderghast [laughing with glee]: “No! Not yet! Not ye-”

[Uncle Prederghast dies and becomes a ghost.]

Uncle Prenderghast: “Oh nuts.”

10) THIS. FREAKING. SCENE.

Norman [after causing a scene at the school]: “I didn’t ask to be born this way.”

Perry [Norman’s Dad]: “Funny. Neither did we.”

Sandra [Norman’s Mom, to Norman]: “You know, sometimes people say things that seem mean but they do it because they’re afraid.”

Norman: “He’s my dad. He’s not supposed to be afraid of me.”

Sandra: “He’s not afraid of you. He’s afraid FOR you.”

I have so many emotions here. After Perry’s snide comment I’m truly angry, but then when Norman makes the observation about fear I get sad and then after Sandra’s line about why Perry is afraid I stay sad but like a different kind of sad if that makes sense. It’s just, I love everything about that exchange.

11) I will say, this film I think is funnier than Coraline.

Uncle Prenderghast’s Ghost [asking Norman to keep the witch’s curse at bay]: “SWEAR!”

Norman [after hesitation]: “You mean…like the f-word?”

12) This film gives us two great meta jokes back to back.

[Norman’s phone rings and it’s the Halloween theme]

Text Message: “Come to the window.”

[Norman goes to the window and jumps at what he sees.]

Neil: “You wanna play some hockey?”

It knows the genre it’s playing in and does it wonderfully.

13) This line sort of breaks my heart.

Norman [after telling Neil about the witch’s curse]: “Go home Neil. I’m better off on my own anyway.”

Norman is used to people not listening to him and holding him back because of it. He really doesn’t feel like he has anyone to count on, so he’s not used to Neil’s support and instinctively sends him away. That’s a really lonely life.

14) There are certain quotes in films we should all try to live our lives by. This is one of them:

Grandma: “There’s nothing wrong with being scared, Norman. So long as you don’t let it change who you are.”

The brief moments we see between Norman and his grandma provide a nice, interesting relationship. I sort of wish there were more of them but I also appreciate how the film flows as is, so I’m glad we got the peek we did.

15) This film does a good job at being scary when it wants to be. The scene when Norman is snooping around his dead uncle’s home looking for the book he was told about actually had me jumping a little bit. I love that.

16) I just want to take a minute to appreciate how this scene is visually.

The horror fantasy of this world just erupted in a no-holds-bar way and that is made very clear to us as the audience in an effective way.

17) I love Anna Kendrick in anything, even if it’s just her voice.

Norman’s sister Courtney is a wonderful kind of awful. She’s the bratty older sister who doesn’t really care about her brother at the start, he’s just an embarrassment. But as the film goes on you can see that the two are siblings and that they will stand by each other. But while Courtney is being more antagonistic we are given some strong comedy and character and Kendrick’s voice just works wonderfully in the part.

18) Neil’s brother, Mitch.

Mitch is a really fun character. He’s sort of your atypical dumb jock type but we get to see more of that. We get to see how he’s not the worst older brother, how he’s less of an outright jerk to Norman and more just an insensitive dunce, and he has some of the best comedy moments in the film. Mitch’s voice actor, Casey Affleck (who I will only be discussing in the context of this film, not the controversy which surrounds him because this really isn’t the best place for me to talk about that) uses his wispier voice to add a juxtaposition between Mitch’s body and his mind, being able to convey his warmth/humor/thickness in a unique and entertaining way.

19) Once the entire ensemble comes together, there is some wonderful comedy.

Alvin [after the zombies trap him and Norman]: “Are they going to eat our brains?”

Norman: “I think you’ll be safe.”

Just a heads up: out of the next seven notes, about six of them deal with how strong the comedy in this film is. You have been warned.

20) The zombies trapping Norman and Alvin in dead Uncle Prenderghast’s house actually creates some nice scary moments, while still keeping the humor and heart this film has established so far. Working well in the genre it has established to create tension and stakes while also providing us with some good laughs.

21) There is some really strong slapstick comedy with the zombies in this film, let me just say.

(GIFs originally posted by @the-light-of-animation)

22) I told you the next few notes are me going to be commenting on how strong the comedy in this film is.

Courtney [to/about Norman]: “I just knew something like this was gonna happen tonight?”

Mitch [sincerely]: “You did? Wow! Because that zombie bit really threw me.”

23) This is quite possibly my favorite joke in the whole film.

Neil [to Mitch]: “You’re the oldest.”

Mitch: “Not mentally!”

24) Okay, I swear the next note after this will be more than just a comment on how funny something in this film is. But come on, the vending machine scene…

25) The message of this film ends up being incredibly surprising and compelling. The fact that the zombies are NOT the monsters in this situation, but the people just start attacking the zombies because they’re different. That the people are the ones who’s arms break through the walls of city hall like it’s Night of the Living Dead. That the living human beings who act based on fear and bias are more dangerous than the living dead. I think that’s a really strong message that the film works quite well with, elevating it above just your standard genre film.

26) Okay, this is the last note on a joke for a while I swear. But, come on…

(GIFs originally posted by @the-light-of-animation)

27) This is one of a few scenes which breaks my heart:

Courtney: “I’m scared Norman and I can’t listen to this anymore.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

The most frustrating part of the existence of the average kid is that no one listens to them. That they are written off or talked down to even when they’re right and/or dealing with some massive situation. “They’re just a kid,” is a common phrase to diminish the actions or feelings of a child. And that SUCKS. It sucks being consistently not being heard, being consistently written off. The reason so many kids feel like no one understands them is because so few people TRY to understand kids. We forget how hard it was being a kid because why would we want to remember that pain? That frustration? Being an adult is hard enough, it’s easier to think that being a kid was easy. But it’s not. And kids everywhere constantly wonder what they’re doing wrong that their life isn’t as easy as how adults remember being a child is. And it just sucks.

28) Honestly, this is the scariest part of the movie for me:

(GIF originally posted by @maggins)

The big bad witch, the one the entire town’s tourist industry is based on, the one who’s death has become pop culture for them inspiring casinos and school plays celebrating her death, that witch…was a seven year old girl who was executed because she was different. Because adults were afraid of her and acted badly out of it. And the scariest thing is: it’s not that far from the truth. Look at Salem. Look at somethings today. People hurting innocents just because they don’t understand them. Just because they’re different. History is marked by putting people - including children - to death because they were misunderstood. The scariest part, the most heartbreaking part, about the reveal that the witch is a seven year old girl is that it’s the least fictional part of this movie.

29) For how much of an awful sister Courtney can be in the first half of the film, remember this: she stands with Norman fist. It’s her brother standing in front of an angry mob defending a bunch of zombies and she doesn’t even really hesitate (only enough to process what’s going on) before she stands with her brother and shouts the adults down before anyone else. Before Neil, before Mitch, before Alvin. Courtney is there for her little brother. And because of her everyone else follows suit.

(GIFs originally posted by @the-light-of-animation)

And then she encourages Norman! She helps him! Albeit with a very Courtney speech, but still she supports him!

Courtney: “I have cheered the uncheerable Norman. I’m not letting you give up now.”

30) Okay, so I’m not done commenting on how funny some of the jokes are in this film.

[Norman, Courtney, and the zombie are in the backseat of their parents car]

Courtney: "Ugh, Norman! He’s on my side of the seat.”

Norman: “She wants you to move over.”

[Zombie groans at Courtney.]

Courtney: “Um, I heard that! Mom, stop the zombie to stop saying stuff about me!”

Norman: “Will you quite using the z-word?”

Courtney [mocking]: “Will you quite using the z-word?”

Perry: “So help me I will stop this car right now if all three of you don’t quite it this instant!”

31) Okay, the entire Norman/Agatha climactic scene.

(GIF originally posted by @ikejamese)

This line of, “I don’t want to go to sleep and you can’t make me,” as a whisper in Norman’s ear in nothing but silence is a great way of establishing how straight up scary Agatha can be.

I love this electric design of Agatha.

Agatha has always been stopped in the past by someone reading a bedtime story to here, and Norman KNOWS this isn’t changing anything it’s just delaying it. So he uses the format of a bedtime story “Once upon a time…” to relate to Agatha and what she’s been going through in a way which frightens her. Because that’s something she’s buried away. She doesn’t want to be afraid, she wants other people to fear her. And it really shows how Norman’s superpower is communicating because he is able to do what no one else has: he is able to actually talk to Agatha.

The visuals for this scene are just incredible. Not only with Agatha, but with the void and the fighting and…gah! It’s delightful eye candy.

And then when Agatha goes back to being Agatha, this scare little girl who was hurt worse than any seven year old ever should, my heart breaks.

(GIF originally posted by @laikaworld)

And in the continuing trend of this scene breaking my heart:

Aggie: “I just want my mommy.”

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

32) I think it’s really powerful that, once the curse is lifted and the zombies just go back to being ghosts, they don’t smile. They’re not at peace. They still have to exist with that guilt and the fact they murdered an innocent girl because she was different than them. They don’t deserve a smile. I love that.

33) THIS! FREAKING! SCENE!!!!!!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

I believe Mitch is the first openly gay character in a mainstream animated film. In an interview with EUR Web, co-director Chris Bulter said:

It was part of the tolerance thing. It seemed important that we be brave about it. If we’re saying to anyone that watches this movie don’t judge other people, then we’ve got to have the strength of our convictions.

I love that.

34) With this film, Laika starts a tradition of including a fun “behind the scenes” post-credits clip showing how they make some of their film. It shows just how much they care about their work and I love that we got similar bits in The Boxtrolls and Kubo and the Two Strings. It’s basically the featurette below, just watch from nine seconds to a minute and nine seconds.

ParaNorman is a great film. It has an incredibly strong message of tolerance and making sure you don’t let your fear change you, the animation is exquisite, there is just so much humor and heart, there are some truly wonderfully frightening moments, the voice acting is incredible, and it is just an amazing ride through and through. Go see it if you haven’t watched it yet. Seriously.

[justanartsysideblog]

Space Lesbians

Because we all wanted a Space Lesbian AU...and so now we’re getting one! Lela belongs to @feynites.

---

Carta Corps Eastern Quadrant Trading Post  

Maibrit finishes entering the last line of code when the alarm begins to beep. She glances out the window, at the expanse of space as far as the eye can see, just as Lela begins to stir. She places the tablet back into its slot on the wall, next to the window, and bends down to press a kiss to Lela’s forehead, “Morning Sparkplug.”

“…did you even sleep?” Lela murmurs, arm tightening around Maibrit’s middle. She seems dead set on ignoring the alarm she set last night. Not that Maibrit is complaining. Staying in bed with her girlfriend all day sounds like a pretty good use of time.

“I slept for a couple of hours earlier,” Maibrit supplies with a shrug, “I needed to finish running this diagnostic program. This entire hunk of metal is lucky it doesn’t fall apart the next time it rotates in full. You should see the blueprints for this place. I don’t know how it even got sanctioned to be built.”

“S’cuz your grandma told ‘em to,” Lela replies sleepily.

“Probably,” Maibrit agrees, “Hey, you need to get up, don’t you have an interview later?”

Lela groans, but does manage to extricate herself from the blankets. She leans over and presses a quick kiss to Maibrit’s forehead before practically rolling off the bed and stumbling toward the small attached bathroom.

It’s taking Lela some getting used to, living off-planet. Adjusting to the zero gravity had taken a month or so, and the time change is still a bit of a problem. Maibrit’s been moving around her entire life, from Thedas, to space stations, to Carta Corps controlled mining planets…this kind of hole in the wall trading hub feels like a home away from home.

Or just a home, considering she hasn’t been to see her family on L-1 since she was…fifteen. Home used to be wherever she went and wherever she could find a position away from Carta. But now…she glances over at the bathroom door and listens to the running water.

Lela’s home, now.

Her armband beeps, and she glances down at the signature reading across the screen, and frowns. Well, she’d expected this to happen sooner or later, she’d just kind of hoped it would be later. Like…a few years later.

At least Lela’s in the shower. No reason she has to experience the Old Nug.

She presses a few buttons, and the screen goes blank, before her grandmother’s dour visage appears. “Good Evening, Maibritren.”

“It’s morning here, actually.” Maibrit offers, not really expecting anything different. Her grandmother works on her own time, and everyone else bends over backwards to follow suit. And really morning is…well it’s relative anyway. There isn’t really a sunrise and sunset to go off of, so it’s a pretty arbitrary system.

“And how is your…?”

“My girlfriend? She’s great, thanks for asking,” Maibrit leans forward, “I’m sorry to inform you she hasn’t caught some viral space disease, and none of her organs have failed from any anti-gravity complications. A shame, I know, but it looks like I might actually get to be happy.”

Her grandmother gives a derisive snort, “You act as if I am personally invested in ruining your life, Maibritren. I do not care who it is you sleep with, so long as you uphold the family name. Otherwise I would have let your lover die on Thedas with the rest of them. But I did not, as you may recall. You asked for my help and I provided. Now I am doing the same.”

Ah, here we go. Maibrit lifts her hand unconsciously to her eyepatch. Help from her grandmother always comes with a catch, she’d known that. She hopes this time it doesn’t involve losing any body parts. “And what do you want me to do, Old Nug?”

A slight curl of her lips, in what could have been a smile, if her grandmother had possessed the ability to do so. “I have a business venture that I would like you to head.”

“You want me in charge of a Carta business venture?”

“The rest of the family is busy, and the readings from this planet are…very promising.”

Well THAT piques her interest. “How promising?”

“The compatibility of the foreign material to lyrium is nearly 100%. I can’t trust that kind of knowledge to one of your halfwit cousins, not if it proves to be correct.”

Well, Maibrit can agree that most of her cousins are halfwits, but she refrains from doing so aloud. A new material with a near perfect compatibility to lyrium…if that were true, if they could recreate a pure synthetic lyrium… “If this material is so close to lyrium naturally, who is to say that this planet doesn’t have its own titans? And its own people willing to fight to defend them?”

“That is what you are going to find out.” Her grandmother answers, “I’ll send you the data through a secure channel, as well as funds…and a proper escort to a ship that will be able to withstand the journey. There is also a roster for potential crew members.” The screen goes black.

The data arrives in a rush, as Maibrit takes the tablet back down and sighs, and begins perusing it.

By the time Lela comes out of the shower, however, Maibrit’s in far better spirits.

“Were you talking to someone?”

“My grandmother,” Maibrit nods, scanning the operational timeline her grandmother gave her.

“Is everything alright?”

Maibrit leans back and motions for Lela to join her back on the bed. “Well, no need for you to go to that job interview later. We might as well spend the rest of the afternoon in bed enjoying ourselves before the real work begins.”

“What’s going on?” Lela reaches for her, one hand on her cheek. Maibrit leans into it and places a kiss on her palm. 

“The Old Nug’s calling in my debt,” Maibrit answers cheerfully, “And I think I might actually enjoy it this time. There’s going to be decidedly less eye losing and way more lesbians. An entire colony of them, actually, if I have my way.”

Lela looks only slightly less confused as she frowns. “You think she’s going to let you have an entire colony of lesbians?”

“Nah, not indefinitely. I figure we’ve got a good decade or so before she decides the planet is viable for fullscale colonization and starts sending in cronies. But for those ten years, it’ll be a lesbian space colony. Ours, sparkplug.” And yeah, half the reason she’s only going to be hiring them is to screw with her grandmother, but she isn’t going to hire unqualified lesbians. She knows at least three off the top of her head that would be perfect for this job.

Maibrit taps the image of the planet until it appears in the air between them. “L-7. And all we have to do is check the planet for hostile life and hope the artificial titan takes. Easy.”

Almost too easy.

She really, really hopes there isn’t a catch.

----

Aaaaaaaand the Space Lesbian AU is a go!

So…background and headcannons:

A long long time ago, the dwarva, working alongside mages, found a way to create artificial titans. As space travel expanded, they learned that the Fade exists outside of the planet as well, which meant that mages were no longer bound to remain on the now increasingly Chantry-ruled world. 

The Carta saw this as an opportunity to begin colonizing other planets.

Carta Corps looks for planets with certain elemental veins that are similar enough to lyrium that the artificial titans can latch onto it and twist it into lyrium and begin producing. Each planet’s lyrium is slightly different, and a different color, but none of it so far is corrupted red lyrium, since that’s lyrium infected with the Blight. But the synthetic lyrium is not as strong or effective as pure lyrium, since none of the foreign elements have been close to being perfectly compatible…until now.

Carta Corps runs most everything outside of Thedas now. They hold the monopoly on lyrium, and only the old religious zealots back in Orzammar still think that only the pure lyrium and original titans are needed.

Most mages have fled Thedas, or try and book passage once they find out they are mages. Tranquility is still something that has happened, with some zealots. There was a big religious movement, an Exalted March that was basically a massacre of mages, riots, deaths, making mages tranquil…afterwards Carta pretty much spun it to make mages think that their only escape was through Carta Corps.

And…more world building will come later.

[socialattractionuk]

Woman who vowed to marry next date walks down aisle 55 days after they met

Ivana and Joshua at their wedding in Croatia (Picture: Antonio Mise)

After coming out of a series of bad relationships, Ivana Richey vowed that the next person she dated would be the man she married.

So when she met Joshua, 38, on 24 June, 2017 at a personal development workshop in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, hoped it would lead to something serious.

Fifty-five days later, the couple were walking down the aisle to become man and wife.

Despite only having known each other for seven weeks, they were sure that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

Ivana, 28, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I was tired of short-term relationships that didn’t lead anywhere.

‘I was always a hopeless romantic, and wanted the type of love I had seen in movies.

‘I also wanted more than an average relationship, I wanted a partnership in which we’d be equals – building a business together, traveling the world, and helping people transform their lives.

The couple had their courthouse wedding 55 days after they met (Picture: Antonio Mise)

‘It wouldn’t be just any person I dated. If I decided I’d be in a relationship with a person, that person would become my husband.’

The couple, now husband and wife, met for the first time three years ago, when Ivana was volunteering at a company workshop for an event that Joshua helped run.

There was an instant spark between them and they started dating shortly after, but Ivana didn’t tell him about her vow.

After the initial meeting, they were going back and forward visiting each other as often as they could, with Joshua in Oklahoma and Ivana in Florida.

They were also soon discussing the topic of marriage, as Ivana planned to take her new boyfriend to her cousin’s wedding in Croatia that October.

Ivana explains: ‘I had told my (now) husband I had never introduced anyone I dated to my grandparents before, so we started talking about maybe getting married after we come back from that trip to Croatia.’

Both also gushed about each other to friends and family, telling them they thought they had met ‘the One’.

Joshua says : ‘I told my friends once I came back from Fort Lauderdale after meeting my wife for the first time that this was the One I would marry. They said I was crazy and I wasn’t going to get married.

‘I also told my mom, my mema (grandma), and aunties Carliss and Angie (they were ecstatic), and they were all supportive.’

The couple felt they were soulmates soon after meeting (Picture: Antonio Mise)

Ivana says: ‘I told my my family (mom, dad, and brother) and my closest friends and they were supportive.

‘My friends knew I was serious because I never talked about marriage in the past and I always had high standards, so they said, “this must be the One if you know so fast you want to get married”. 

‘Everything happened spontaneously and quickly.

‘Our mothers were supportive and didn’t have any doubts.

They met at a work event in 2017 (Picture: Antonio Mise)

‘After we announced it on social media, there were so many shocked people (especially the ones from the workshop where we met). People said they didn’t even know we were engaged, and we answered, “we never were!”’

In August, Ivana went to visit Joshua and the pair decided that they didn’t even want to wait until after the trip to Croatia to get married.

They went to the courthouse, which was originally fully booked – but in the end, they managed to grab a last-minute slot.

Their courthouse wedding took place on 18 August, 2017 in El Reno, Oklahoma.

Ivana says: ‘We had absolutely no doubts about it being quick. Our souls had become one, and time was just a man-made construct.’

At that stage, the couple didn’t even live in the same place, so a month later Ivana moved to Oklahoma.

After the wedding, she told Joshua about her vow to marry her next date and it made them feel like it was always meant to be.

Ivana says: ‘We just talked about after we got married, and he didn’t react much because he had already brought up the topic of marriage early on in our relationship.

They had a wedding party with friends and family a year after their courthouse ceremony (Picture: Antonio Mise)

‘It was funny to him though because he had told himself he wanted to marry someone younger, educated, and that he could relate to on all levels and grow an empire with, so we had already envisioned our future marriage before we met.’

Despite feeling as if it was fate, they did have some difficulties getting married so quickly.

Ivana says: ‘It was challenging with certain parts, like coming from two different backgrounds, different upbringings, different mindsets, and different cultures.

‘ However, it was just that that brought us closer together and made us stronger.

They now work together and said that they have no regrets (Picture: Antonio Mise)

‘We realised nothing nor no one can break our bond, and that we had way more similarities than differences.

‘The differences were the programming by family and society (the outside shell).

‘The similarities were really who we were at our core and what we valued (the inside shell) – we both always felt we came to earth from different planets, and when we met, we knew we’d met our soulmate.’

Over a year later, on 2 September, 2018, they had a wedding party in Sustipan, Split, a small peninsula in Croatia, to celebrate their love with family and friends.

Ivana adds: ‘I really wanted it in Croatia and I wanted my family to be able to attend, so my husband agreed.

‘My mom is from Croatia and my dad is from Bosnia, but I grew up in Sweden, so family and friends from Croatia, Bosnia, Sweden, and the USA attended.

Ivana and Joshua (Picture: Antonio Mise)

‘My mom, Lidija Vuletic planned the entire wedding and with the help of our wedding coordinator Gordana Tomaš, made it nothing less than a fairytale wedding!’ Now almost three years on, the couple are stronger than ever and say that getting married so quickly was great for them.

They now work as life and relationship coaches, authors and speakers together. 

Ivana says: ‘We’ve now been together for two years and 10 months. We’ve been married for two years and nine months. 

‘We’ve learned so much. We’ve learned about how trauma can interfere, how important it is to love yourself, how important it is not to tell your friends and family about struggles and issues, to really nurture and care for each other.

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‘We’ve learned the power of real communication (beyond words), we’ve learned what true, deep, spiritual intimacy is, and to actually have a marriage that breaks the general stereotype of falling out of love after a year or two.

‘We’ve learned about the power of working on oneself and working on the marriage together.

‘The power of getting guidance, and the power of working together professionally, and helping other couples has given us the tools to not only help our clients but to make our marriage even better.

‘We’ve also had it confirmed that time means nothing – we feel like we’ve been married forever.’ 

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[hellogkchavez-blog]

Blog Post #8

INTIMACY! When reading this chapter I was thinking that nobody ever feels comfortable talking about intimacy because they think that intimacy is only sexual. Which, yes it is but it’s also much more than that. Being intimate with someone means that you have a close relationship with that person. It’s so much more than just “touch” and I feel like we need to steer away from that social stigma. Anyways, intimacy is awesome to put it in more simple terms. To be able to have a close relationship with someone and share personal things about yourself with others and to learn personal things about other people is a connection we need in our lives to form relationships. You’re able to share your emotions with that other person on a level that you obviously wouldn’t with the cashier ringing you out at the local market. One of my close friends and I have become more intimate as time has been passing and I’ve been able to realize it more and more. We’ve known eachother since middle school because of mutual friends and social media, but we became friends when we started playing volleyball together our freshman year of high school. Throughout high school, we were still somewhat distant but then became best friends I would say, end of sophomore year throughout that summer and into junior year because of our mutual best friend. We all hung out together and did things together which made us come closer as friends. Once we graduated high school, our mutual best friend moved to Florida for college, I attended NCC and she started at JJC. Because both of us were commuter students, we still lived at home in our little hometown, and our houses weren’t that far from each other (driving distance). I also got a job working retail at our local mall and because we were hiring at the time, they asked me of people who were also looking for a job. SO, I asked my friend, she got the job and we worked together. I definitely think that work brought us closer together for sure. At work, our entire staff was really close, inside and outside of work. With that being said, my friend and I became really really close. We would hang out all the time, do favors for each other, tell each other everything, I mean we were really close and we actually still are. Fast forward about a year and a couple of months, our friend who moved to Florida comes back (due to personal reasons) and starts school here again. My friend who has lived here and didn’t move away has had a really close connection with this girl basically for the past couple of years, but when she moved away the connection was lost. They became less intimate as I did with her as well. It was almost inevitable, even though we didn’t want to or plan to lose that connection. Anyways, she came back and my friend and I assumed that we would all be able to re-connect right away. Unfortunately that didn’t happen because of conflicting work schedules, class schedules etc. i should’ve added in earlier that my friend that moved to Florida has a very controlling boyfriend in which she would rather listen to and be miserable than do anything else. In his eyes, he sees them as friends with benefits (for the past couple of years now) and she sees him as the literal love of her life. Anyways, the Florida friend has been constantly deciding to spend time with him more than us, which has caused us to somewhat drift away from her and lose that intimate relationship with. But, this has caused me and my other friend to become more intimate. My now closer friend and I have obviously had really deep conversations about family life, boyfriends, other friends etc so we’ve gotten to know a lot about each other. The way our parents raised both of us is actually very similar. For example, the set of expectations our families hold on us are very similar. School comes first no matter what, family and friends follow. Also, both of our families are very open when speaking on topics going through their lives. In my family, my uncle was going through a divorce some number of years ago but my entire family had to be involved, they just had to. Whether it was talking crap about his ex wife when my uncle was around or not, we were all open about how we felt on the situation and had to share our thoughts and ideas with each other. My family has a really good understanding of not conforming to a certain set of ideas or beliefs. Another example of this is the belief of God. Growing up, I would typically go to church on like Wednesday nights and Sundays with my aunt because her daughters were around my age. So, we would go and I would learn obviously church things, but it was mostly for the quality time with my cousins and basically doing what they did. My parents would go to church on Sundays sometimes, but rarely ever. I remember as I got a little older I asked my Mom about her beliefs on God (etc) and I remember her telling me that she doesn’t care what I believed in necessarily because my beliefs were my beliefs and I was going to grow up and learn how to believe either way. I feel like on the topic of conformity, religion is a major factor, if not the biggest. I do think that if I were to grow up in my Grandma or Great Grandma’s house hold that conforming would not be an option, it would be a must. Anyways, moving on to the five love languages, I thought it was really interesting that there was an actual quiz you can take to determine what you like or what you look for in a potential partner besides appearance. In class, I rated my top to be quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and lastly gifts. When I took the quiz on the actual website, it was very similar but just some things slightly changing. In class, I feel like the entire class stood up for gifts being towards the bottom of their top 5 because gifts are appreciated but we all understand that relationships (not everybodies) aren’t built on materialistic items. To speak for myself, they are nice for holidays like christmas or birthdays but they aren’t necessary for those out of the blue days or made up holidays like sweetest day. I still feel like quality time is the most important though because without quality time, I feel like it’s harder to learn about the other person and vice-versa. With quality time, you get to learn so much more about that person and just how they act and react, that it determines whether or not you’d want to stick around for this person. Overall, I do feel as if the quiz was accurate because in reality that’s just what I like and everybody is different. With that being said, when my boyfriend comes over tonight I’m going to make him take the quiz just to see how he feels/his thoughts on it.

[victoriasblogs]

Blog #1 - July 5, 2017: INTRO- LIVE ALOHA!! 

ALOOOOHAAA! My name is Victoria Barroga, a 26 year old SINGLE female who has lived on the beautiful island of Oahu for almost 4 years now. Believe it or not, I was FORCED to move here! You see, after graduating Heald College in October 2012 as a Medical Assistant, I had no luck on finding a job for an entire year... Okay, i’ll admit- I was “comfortable” or in other words “lazy”. My parents and grandma couldn’t stand it, so they booked a one-way ticket for me to leave on September 3, 2013. 

I dreaded it so much to the point where I didn’t pack until the night before I left. Thankfully, uncle Joey & auntie Vangie provided food, water, shelter, and access to a computer for my broke-ass! I stayed with them for about 4 months, and moved out to Lolo (mom’s uncle) Madrid’s in January 2014. By then, I was already employed under Dr David Chou, Pacific Urology Inc. where I assisted him in minor surgeries such as vasectomies, orchiectomy’s, circumcisions, and procedures like cystoscopies, and prostate biopsies. That job required a commute to Wahiawa General Hospital & Queens Medial Center West Oahu, so mom and dad paid a visit in January 2014 to buy me a used Honda Acoord which I didn’t even get to keep for Long because: 

1. Ex boyfriend from Stockton,CA- Sopheaktra Sou, moved out here in April 2014 to be with me. 

2. I hid him from my family for almost a month. 

3. Dad found out, dad stopped payments without telling me. car got repoed. 

Well that shows you how much my family despises Sopheaktra. I can’t blame them as I look back and see the things I did for him vs the things he did for me. But let’s not get into that. EVER. 

Instead, let me talk about an individual who ended up becoming my best friend- Angelica Guevara, who everyone knows as Angel, and nick named as Anna Banana. We met in person towards the end of February 2014, but we’ve known each other since 2006 through Tumblr, Myspace, Instagram and Facebook. 

I remember feeling lonely during Valentines Day, but realized I just needed to get out of the house and make some friends. So one night i was scrolling through IG, and saw Angel post a picture and that’s where it hit me. She was on Oahu, so i hit her up, we met for dinner one night and had pho in china town. Since then, we hung out almost every day. We’ve been through ALOT together. 

Angel & I ended up getting a 1 bedroom apartment in Aug 2015, we stayed there for about 6 months and then moved into a larger upstairs complex (thanks to grandma) in Kaimuki in February 2016. which is where we’re still living together at. And we’ve had some great roommates along the way (Caleb Mason Beaty), and bad ones as well (Genevieve-bunny bitch, Wallace Del Rosario, Leslie). But as of now, we’re content, Edward Gonzalez and Jeffrey Linares are currently our roommates, and we’re all friends. They’re practically my family out here, and we all have each other’s backs. 

I’ve come to realize that if it wasn’t for my parents and grandma, I wouldn’t have learned how to prioritize what was important and what wasn’t. I’ve matured so much throughout the years, and just grateful for everything this life has to offer. It’s a bonus that not only i’m living in paradise, everyone here is friendly, and family-oriented. I’ve gain so much experience as a medical assistant working for a urologist (Pacific Urology Inc, David Chou, MD), pain management (Hawaii Pain Center, Damien Tavares, MD), and now for orthopedics, and sports medicine (IMUA Orthopedics Sports & Health, Elizabeth Ignacio, MD & Nicole Gesik, DO). My main goal in life is still to become a nurse. And if moving back to California is what I have to do, then i’ll do it. Because Hawaii will always be here, and I can always come back if I wanted to. But for now, my mind is set for moving back to California in December 2017 </3,  and Losing as much weight as I can before then. (LOL)

Until next time, 

Victoria S. Barroga