#and finding out that the big sam in the space in between is bad end sam!!

[huffle-dork]

Swap Across the CrystalVerse Chapter 25: Epilogue

Read Swapboys | Crystal’s AUs|

Read SITCV | SATCV Masterpost | AO3 Link

Alt and Jackie find themselves in a pitch black space. And yet, somehow, they can still see themselves and each other. Just... nothing else. 

Anti appears behind them. "Okay," he says. "Let's--" 

And then, suddenly, someone else appears. Bro, with Mag still slung over his shoulder. And behind him, another Anti with an eye-patch and green scarf. "Okay," that Anti says. "Let's--" 

And then the two Antis lock eyes. And they stop.

Alt stops as soon as he hears the other voice and puts an arm up to hold Jackie back behind him protectively. 

Bro's eyes meet Alt's and he breaks out into a huge grin. "Y-You're okay!" 

Alt and Jackie look relieved, "Chase!" they say almost at the same time. They all look like they wanna run towards each other- but they glance at the antis warily. 

"... how come you guys got an Anti too?" Bro asks, tilting his head. 

"Bro- this one hasn't even met us!" Jackie says. 

"what??? How does that work??" 

"Heh. You guys think you're the only versions of yourselves out there?" The Anti with Bro grins. "Didn't you see that shit back there? Lots of different worlds that are all pretty similar. I thought I was the only one of me, though." 

The Anti with Jackie and Alt nods. "Same. Maybe it's just the two of us." 

"Maybe." 

The Anti with Bro has a short sleeve shirt, and behind his tightly-wound scarf there are bandages around his neck. The Anti with Alt and Jackie is wearing long sleeves, and his scarf is looser, showing a bare neck beneath it. 

"So." Short-sleeve Anti gestures at his neck. "You... took care if it, then? Jack is safe?" 

Long-sleeve Anti nods. "From them, at least. We're having some trouble with IRIS. Did those guys fuck with you?" 

"Oh yeah. Give 'em hell." 

"Oh believe me, I will." A pause. "So... how'd you meet these guys, then?"

Alt watches the conversation with a furrowed brow. "...I feel like you are being really causal about this and its kinda freaking me out..." 

Jackie looks like he's gonna have a crisis thinking about other hims that are like him in the moment. 

Bro adjusts Mag on his shoulder and genuinely seems unbothered. He wouldn't be able to comprehend what all this means anyways. 

Bro then looks at long sleeved Anti and grins, "Oh! We got blasted into his universe by some black magic glitchy fuckery and he helped to save our friends from the messed up guys in your universe! Which... I'm guessing are the same considering how you two are talking." 

"I don't understand," Alt says, glitching forward and in between the two Antis. "How... are you guys the same but- you don't know what the other did? Aren't... you from the same world? The same things happen to you and... that's what makes you.. you- right?"

"Well... yeah, I guess when you put it that way," Long-sleeve Anti says. "We have to have shared most experiences." 

"Otherwise we wouldn't be so similar." Short-sleeve Anti nods. "I think I understand. The moment you guys showed up in our universe, it must've split in two--the version where you showed up, and the version where you didn't. That's why he doesn't know you guys. Hey, d'you remember Marvin's museum heist? With that weird ass doorway in the middle of the exhibit?" 

Long-sleeve Anti nods. "What? Something happen there?" 

"Marvin shot his magic at me while in that doorway. That somehow summoned these guys and two of their friends." 

"Ah. That didn't happen with me. I glitched out of the way just before. So that's the point of divergence." 

"ooh!" Alt says, eyes sparkling as he understands. "It's... its a timeline split! Okay... okay that makes sense!" He laughs, "I dunno why that's easier for me to wrap my head around..." 

"Would make sense," Short-sleeve Anti muses. "Marvin got really fucking obsessed with other worlds after that. If he never met these guys... none of that would've happened." Sadness flashes across his expression. "Jack would be safe right now..." 

Long-sleeve Anti glitches over to him. "You'll get him back," he says. "I know what we're capable of, and I know you can get him back." Short-sleeve Anti smiles. "...thanks."

Bro and Alt look kinda guilty and look away from the tender Anti moment while Jackie blinks a bit in confusion. 

Alt looks back to the Anti they know with determination, "...my offer still stands you know. If you ever need back up we can be-" He then cuts himself off and it dawns on him that... he can't make that promise anymore. The TRVLR is gone. Frustrated tears perk up in his eyes and he quickly tries to blink them away. "...well... n-nevermind can't... really u-universe hop anymore..."

Short-sleeve Anti raises an eyebrow. "I'm guessing something happened to your TRVLR." 

"Sounds like some IRIS shit," Long-sleeve Anti mutters. 

"Ha! That's exactly what it is. They got it from another world with them, stole it." 

"Nice." Long-sleeve Anti pauses. "You don't... think it's related to the rifts, do you? This TRVLR thing?" 

"I don't think IRIS is capable of doing shit like that. But... they might be linked." Short-sleeve Anti looks at the guys. "Well? What happened?"

Alt curls his hands into fists, magic flickering and sparking around him in anger. "...we were tricked. We thought the TRVLR got broken during a trip we took to that medieval world I told you about which is... such a long story. But- we thought it would be okay to take Jackie to go meet his superhero self! But then... it kept breaking- taking us to new places instead of taking us home... and we found out it was all a plan to bring the TRVLR to the universe we were in b-before all this rift stuff happened... and he, another Anti... he took Mag's magic and he destroyed the TRVLR and said he was gonna go d-delete other universes and... we couldn't stop him. The TRVLR tried to warn us! it said the universe was under quarantine but... I..." He gets angrier as he looks towards the still passed out Mag, "Mag got a hold of me right away and I- I couldn't warn anyone or get away and he... he-" Alt takes a couple shaky breaths to keep from exploding in anger, or bursting to tears. He honestly feels on the brink of both. "He got it and... We got sucked into the rifts and separated in the places you both found us. I... I dunno where he is now... who knows how many things he might have destroyed..." His shoulders shake and his voice breaks as he whispers out, "A-and it's all my fault...!" 

"Hey! Alt d-don't say that," Bro says gently. "None of us could have prepared for this..."

The Antis stare, eyes getting wide as Alt tells his story. Then they look at each other. 

"Must've been one of the places with a connection, right?" Long-sleeve Anti says. 

"Yeah." Short-sleeve Anti nods. "Couldn't have been the place with the facility, I don't think the Anti there cares for deleting worlds. Same with that place with the time loop city. So... the other one." 

"Yeah." Long-sleeve Anti nods. "That must be why They sent out a call. Because that Anti escaped. He can't do that much, though, can he?" 

"...connection... call... what are you guys talking about?" Jackie tries to ask.

"Some universes have connections to other worlds," Long-sleeve Anti says. 

"It's hard to grasp, I know, just... accept it and it'll be easier," Short-sleeve Anti adds. 

"Oh.. okay," Jackie replies meekly. 

Short-sleeve Anti frowns. Then he turns to Alt. "Your brother's right," he says in a quiet voice. "Nobody could have prepared for that. It's not your fault, okay? He was already working on a way out. He would have found it eventually, even if you didn't show up. It's not your fault. Okay? For some reason, people love to blame themselves for things that others have done. Not sure why. All it does is let the actual perpetrators escape blame-free, because they don't usually feel the guilt that decent people do. You gonna let this guy get away blame-free while you take it all?" He shakes his head. "It's not your fault. Anyone else in your situation would've been tricked, I'm sure. Even me. Or, uh, us." He gestures at himself and the other Anti.

Alt is quiet and is fighting back tears. 

Bro sees how this is affecting Alt and he throws Mag to the... well what they're standing on- hard to tell with all this black. And then hurries over to come and hug him. 

Alt seems resistant at first but eventually leans in, sniffling. He laughs half-heartedly at Anti's point and shakes his head. "... no...you're right I just... feel responsible..." 

Bro shakes his head rests his on top of Alt's. "You're responsible for your actions only, Alt. No one else's." 

Alt snorts and rolls his eyes. "Okay, Dr. J." 

"He has very good points! That's why he gets paid to say this stuff!" Bro laughs as he nudges Alt. Then, he takes in all the blood on him and gasp. "Holy shit Alt-!" 

From the combination of being tossed to the floor like wet garbage and the sound of the siblings bickering, Mag's eyes finally blearily open. He pushes himself up and has a nice purple bruise forming next to his eye on his left side. He notices the fact they're in complete darkness and there's two Antis and blinks super slowly, trying to process. "...the fucking hell is happening...?" He mutters dazedly.

The moment Magnificent is awake, the two Antis snap their attention to him. "So... who the hell is this guy?" Long-sleeve Anti asks. "A Marvin?" 

"Yeah, as bad as ours," Short-sleeve Anti growls. "I put him on the list." 

"Oh." Whatever that means, it apparently immediately sours Long-sleeve Anti's opinion of Magnificent, and he glares at him. 

"...I dunno what the list is but I'm intrigued... maybe I should have a villains list." Bro muses. 

Alt laughs, "Why bother? We all know Mag is at the top." 

"Not true! ...Overdose is up there too. ...and that King bastard." Chase says with a shudder. 

Short-sleeve Anti glitches over to Mag, crouching by him where he's lying on the black 'ground.' "Here's the deal, Mag," he says. "Right now, you're somewhere that only I--or this other version of me--can navigate. We could very easily leave you here, and you wouldn't be able to do shit about it. So, I suggest you play nice. Otherwise we might decide to just take these three with us when we leave. And keep in mind, your mind tricks don't work on me. Either version."

Magnificent stumbles back as short-sleeved Anti appears in front of him and looks between the two with even wider eyes. "T-There's fucking two of you?!" He gasps and tries to back up. He tries to save face by glaring at the Anti in front of him and glances at the other. But, eventually he sighs and frowns at Anti. "... I suppose that's do-able. I can humor you... until you idiots figure out a way out of this mess, I guess." 

"Man- can't believe Mag is actually scared of you guys," Jackie grins. 

"I am not-!" Magnificent tries to argue.

"Heh." Short-sleeved Anti gives a wicked grin, then glitches back over to the rest. "Well. Clearly, you guys all need to get home. Though I know what you'll say. About that other Anti who's running loose through the multiverse. You'll want to help, won't you? Or... at least you two will." He nods at Bro and Alt. "I'm not as familiar with you, Jackie." 

"I'm starting to realize I might not be the... adventuring type," Jackie says quietly, rubbing at his arm. "B-But I'd like to help where I can...?"

Bro smiles sadly at Jackie and brings him into a side hug, "You've been doing amazing, Jackie..." 

"They can't exactly help if they don't have a way to go to other worlds, though," Long-sleeve Anti points out. 

"Yeah. Which is why we need to ask for Their help. If anyone can figure out something to fix all of this, it's Them."

Alt blinks in confusion and looks between the Antis, "umm... who's them?" 

Even Mag's eyes spark curiously.

"Oh... just the most powerful being in this branch of the multiverse," Long-sleeve Anti says, giving a little chuckle. 

"They sensed when the rifts started opening up and sent out a call for anyone who might be able to help with that," Short-sleeve Anti adds. "I answered. And it seems like I also answered." 

"Sounded urgent," Long-sleeve Anti shrugs. "Especially since They mentioned people were out of place.”

"Hold on a second, They'll probably be coming here any moment," Short-sleeve Anti says.

Jackie notices it first, followed shortly by Alt. The area around them is pitch black, except for a small green dot of light in the distance. It grows bigger, getting closer. Baseball size, then basketball size, then beachball size. It keeps going. The size of a sofa, the size of a room. 

Mag senses it more than sees it as it approaches. When he first entered that world with the horror creatures, he felt Cait Coill's power was an ocean. This is like a million oceans... a million oceans of acid. The closer it gets, the more clear it is that he does not want this power in his body. The size of a house, the size of a building, and the green glow just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger until the whole sky above them seems to be glowing green. And then, the green glow rolls. A rim of blue appears, followed by an expanse of black. It is a massive, glowing green eyeball.

Magnificent's jaw drops, shuddering as he feels the power wash over him. 

Alt and Jackie gasp loudly. Alt tries to glitch back but realizes soon enough it's futile. They're becoming the very sky themselves. 

Bro is confused at first, "...why is the sky glowing green." Then, he sees the rim of blue and black and he makes a pog face then points up at the sky, "GIANT SAM??!" 

Alt bursts into awed breathless laughter, "i... I guess so…!" 

"Yeah." The two Antis say in unison, nodding identically. 

"What the fuckkk??" Jackie breathes. 

{I AM SORRY IF I'M FRIGHTENING YOU, BUT I CANNOT CHANGE MY SIZE OUT HERE BEYOND THE WORLDS,} a voice says in all their minds. {I WILL KEEP THIS SHORT. IT IS NOT SAFE TO BE AROUND ME FOR TOO LONG OUT HERE. I KNOW ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED. I'M SORRY THAT IT HAS HAPPENED THIS WAY.}

"..i..it's okay," Alt tries to reply. 

"But, the Antis said you could help us, right?" Bro asks hopefully.

{INDEED,} Sam says. {I CAN OPEN A WAY HOME FOR YOU.} 

"What about their TRVLR?" Short-sleeve Anti asks. 

"And the Anti that's going to fucking 'delete' worlds?" Long-sleeve Anti adds. 

{DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HIM YET,} Sam says. {HE HAS GAINED THE POWER TO JUMP THROUGH WORLDS, BUT DESTROYING THEM WILL TAKE MUCH, *MUCH, MUCH* MORE. AS FOR THE DEVICE... THAT WILL TAKE SOME TIME. IT WOULD BE BEST TO FIND THE PARTS THAT HAVE BEEN SCATTERED, AND EVEN I WILL HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH THAT.}

"I-If you could take us back to the world where we found it- we could just grab another one," Alt says, stepping forward. "There were so many more just lying around! All they need to work is my magic!"

{BUT YOU WOULD LOSE ALL THE WORLDS YOU HAVE BEEN TO BEFORE,} Sam says. {AND ALL THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE MET THERE. UNLESS YOU REMEMBER THE NUMBERS, THE ONLY WAY TO FIND THEM AGAIN WOULD BE THROUGH TRIAL AND ERROR.} 

"Couldn't you just give them a device with all the worlds marked?" Short-sleeve Anti asks. 

{NO. MY POWER IS NOT... PRECISE LIKE THAT. IT IS MUCH MORE BLUNT.}

Alt deflates and sighs, holding his arms, "But then... didn't we already lose them? Our TRVLR was smashed into bits... How can you possibly find every piece and put them back together?" He bites his lips, feeling the pinprick of tears again, "...I don't want to lose our way to them... but.. i...i dunno..."

{IT IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE,} Sam says. {I PROMISE YOU, I WILL BE ABLE TO FIND EACH ONE. I SEE EVERYTHING, AFTER ALL. BUT THE PRECISION OF GATHERING AND PUTTING THEM TOGETHER WILL REQUIRE AID. PERHAPS FROM ONE OF THE GLITCHES.} 

The two Antis look at each other. 

{BUT IF YOU WISH FOR SOME OTHER SOLUTION, I WILL BE ABLE TO HELP WITH WHATEVER YOU COME UP WITH.}

Alt is quiet for a second and Bro comes up and puts a hand on his shoulder. Eventually he sighs and looks up at Sam with a sad smile. "...I guess I'm gonna have to trust you guys... but I think I can do that...."

{VERY GOOD,} Sam says. 

"Well?" Long-sleeve Anti asks the other. "You or me? I think I have more free time." 

Short-sleeve Anti shakes his head. "I'm already involved in all this multiverse shit. I... have stuff to do back home, but I think I'm more qualified." 

"Hmm." Long-sleeve Anti purses his lips. "I guess... I've only really talked to that man who glitched into the In-Between and that young boy. You have these guys, they've visited your world and everything. But are you sure? What about your Jack?" 

Short-sleeve Anti hesitates. "I... have people who are helping. And I'm sure I can do both at the same time. Take care of your Jack, okay? I'd... rather that happen." 

"If you're sure," Long-sleeve Anti says quietly. 

{REMEMBER, ALT BRODY,} Sam says. {YOU CANNOT WORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU CAN ONLY TRUST YOU'RE CAPABLE OF HANDLING IT.}

Alt's eyes widen and he looks back at Sam with shock. "... You... was that... you? In the world where..." He swallows shakily. "...where i was corrupted...? or was that Sam... merely passing along the message?”

{THAT WAS ME,} Sam says, a smile in Their mental voice. {THAT IS THE WORLD I HAIL FROM. JACK IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE... AND ANTI IS MY MISTAKE. BUT THAT IS A LONG STORY.} 

"You're from that world??" Bro asks, "How... does that work? How did you go from a tiny thing back there to this... massive fucking thing?!" He spreads out his arms as wide as he can to emphasize his point. 

Alt looks surprised too but does smile hearing about Jack. And shudders thinking about that Anti...

{OH... I CAN BE THIS BIG BACK THERE, TOO,} Sam says. {IN FACT, THIS IS MY NATURAL SIZE. I SHRINK DOWN FOR OTHERS' CONVENIENCE. BUT I CANNOT OUT HERE. IT IS THE TRADEOFF FOR THE POWER I MUST USE TO OPEN A DOOR TO OTHER WORLDS.}

“Whattt???” Bro says, dumbfounded. 

“Do the guys back there know about that?” Jackie asks curiously.

{THEY KNOW I AM UNUSUAL,} Sam says. {THOUGH THEY DO NOT KNOW JUST HOW UNUSUAL. JACK DOES, I AM TELLING HIM EVERYTHING SLOWLY NOW THAT HE CAN HEAR MY VOICE NATURALLY. BEFORE THAT, COMMUNICATION WITH HUMANS WAS DIFFICULT. EVEN NOW, IT IS SLIGHTLY UNSAFE THAT YOU HAVE NOT ACCLIMATED, BUT I FEEL THIS WAS AN URGENT CASE.}

"We should get them home then, shouldn't we?" Short-sleeve Anti asks, nodding towards the four others. 

{SOON, YES. PERHAPS IF THEY HAVE A COUPLE MORE QUESTIONS, BUT KEEP THEM SHORT.}

Alt is quiet for a bit before he looks back up, “…how will you find us again? …none of us can get to here. And now we can’t travel to other universes… unless we use that doorway but… I don’t trust that thing one bit.” He glares at Mag who quickly looks away.

{I CAN OPEN UP A RIFT FOR A SLIGHT MOMENT OF TIME,} Sam says. {I TRUST ANTI TO GO THROUGH AND DELIVER ANY MESSAGES OR ITEMS TO YOU.} 

Short-sleeve Anti nods. "And I can get back to my home from anywhere."

“Damn lucky-“ Jackie giggles. 

Alt nods, “…alright. Then… I guess we’re all… good.” He still looks sad and uneasy about all this, anxiety about that escaped Anti clawing at his gut. 

“Our world is gonna be… safe, right? From that crazy Anti?” Bro asks quietly.

{YOUR WORLD IS FAR FROM HIS,} Sam says. {ON A DIFFERENT BRANCH. IT WILL BE DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO REACH IT. ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. IT IS A MIRACLE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REACH THIS BRANCH AND HOP THROUGH AS EASILY HAS YOU HAVE.} 

"If you see that crazy guy, I'll be right behind him," Short-sleeve Anti says. "Gonna fucking kick his ass for trying to reach you guys." 

Long-sleeve Anti raises an eyebrow. "You'd go that far?" 

Short-sleeve Anti pauses. "I guess I would."

“Awww have you grown a soft spot for us Anti~?” Bro taunts playfully. 

Alt smiles wide, laughing along. “…it’s good to know we can count on you, Anti.” 

Magnificent makes a gagging motion and Jackie kicks at him. Mag hisses at him.

Short-sleeve Anti gives a small smile. And at that, so does the other one. "Well... we should head home, shouldn't we?" he says. 

"We should. And you should too." Short-sleeve Anti nods at the four of them. 

{THEY WILL HAVE TO GO FIRST,} Sam says. {AFTER ALL, THEY NEED AN ENTRANCE, WHILE YOU TWO CAN GO BACK AS YOU WISH.}

“I guess… this is goodbye for now, then.” Bro says with a sad smile. 

Alt looks back at Sam, “thanks then… for all your help.” He smiles back at the Antis, “And you two too.” 

Jackie steps up next to his friends and laughs nervously, “Dunno if I’ll be doing another one of these things again anytime soon but… thanks.” 

Mag stays quiet and doesn’t look at anyone, rubbing at the bruise on his face.

The Anti in long sleeves nods. "Nice to meet you all. I can see why this other me got attached." 

The Anti they know rolls his eye. "You guys stay safe. I hope I'll see you all soon--to give you your TRVLR again." He glances at Mag. "And you." He doesn't say anything, just glares threateningly. 

Magnificent still flinches slightly- which have the other swaps giggling. 

Then Anti looks back to the others. "Here's to the future." 

{WHEN YOU ARE READY...} A bit of green lightning snaps down from the Sam high above. A small tear appears in the pitch-black of the Space In-Between, and through it... a familiar sight. Home. {STEP THROUGH. GOOD LUCK, AND GOODBYE.}

The swaps all watch in awe as the lightning strikes and then perk up at the small glimpse of home. Calling to them. 

Bro smiles and offers his hands to the others. “Together?”

Alt rolls his eyes with a chuckle. “Cheesy. But… yeah.” He takes Bro’s hand. 

Jackie grins, squeezing Bro’s hand, “One last hold for the road! Just in case it’s bumpy~” 

“By the gods your sentimentality makes me sick,” Mag grumbles. “Can we move on?” 

“Don’t be bitchy just cuz you’re jealous, Marv.” Jackie says, sticking out his tongue at Mag. 

Magnificent snorts but hides his look of anger. He teleports ahead of the others- just long enough to linger in the other side before he disappears from sight. 

The other swaps all roll their eyes and laugh- then, they step back through the portal, together.

They find themselves in a familiar place when they walk through the rift. The Brody brothers' apartment, right where they left. 

Magnificent is not with the three of them. When he walked through, he appears right where he left as well. In his warehouse.

The boys all look at each other and then collapse into different chairs or places to sit around the living room. They sit together in a long long silence- Their exhaustion palpable in the air. 

Finally, Bro speaks up, looking at Jackie. “…did you mean that back there, Jackie? That you don’t think you can… do these trips anymore?” 

Jackie doesn’t meet their eyes as he shrugs. He laughs uneasily. “Well… guess we do have a break now but… y-yeah… I think I… I need to step out of these.” Frightened tears come into his eyes. “…in the last world… I… I almost died- if Anti hadn’t found me in time… I… I…” he takes a shaky breath and holds his arms. “….all I could think about was Zara and the kids… never knowing what happened to me. I… I dunno if I can do that again…” 

Bro and Alt look at their friend with sadness and understanding. 

Then, the door to apartment opens quietly- before there’s a gasp, then an angry female voice yelling, “Jackie Finnigan Mann!! Where the hell have you been?!”

Jackie’s head snaps back to look at who’s at the door- it’s Zara. She looks a mix between angry and relived. “One day at most my ass! Where-?!” 

She gets cut off as Jackie clambers to get to her and almost knocks her over by hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry Zara! I’m so so sorry, love…” he whispers, voice breaking as he holds her tightly. 

Zara blinks slowly but then quickly hugs him back, “oh… love… you’re trembling…!” She rubs his back and kisses his cheek, “…I’m just glad you’re okay…” She looks to Bro and Alt with confusion, “what… happened?” 

Bro shakes his head, “it’s a long story, z… we can catch you up in a bit. I think we all need… some time.” 

Zara nods and squeezes Jackie before letting go- “here… you all look terrible and exhausted… come over to our house and I’ll make you all dinner okay?” Then she blinks and gasps, “holy fuck Alt! You’re hurt!” 

Alt blinks slowly and looks down, “…oh yeah-“ 

“Okay- first a trip to Ollie, then I’ll make you all dinner.” Zara says sternly. 

Alt laughs hollowly and nods, “okay… guess I can’t argue with that… Ollie has Glitches after all…” 

“Isn’t he not supposed to treat you now that you both are dating?” Bro asks with a smirk. 

Alt blushes and Zara snorts, “I think he’ll make an exception. Or we’ll see the other dooms I don’t care just-! C’mon you lot.” She leads Jackie out and Bro soon staggers up to follow after. He pats Alt on the shoulder and then walks out the door. 

Alt lingers for a second, noticing the empty feeling in his pocket more than ever. But, soon enough he follows after his friends. 

None of them had to do this alone.

[s1aywalker]

꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ straight to video. ꨄ

↷ ✩ —— video store clerk sam monroe headcanons. (nsfw 18+)

warnings: smutty smutty smutty. minors do not interact or else i'll collect your kneecaps. porn (duh), masturbation.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who lingers and hangs back a little too long in the furthest section of the video store every time he has to put away the lazily disinfected x-rated returns back into their designated slots.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who makes a bad habit out of scoping out the newest releases when he unboxes them before they hit the shelves. it's not usually anything super crazy— the same old titles with "busty" and "hot" in big bold letters. most of the covers are on the classier end, displaying lingerie clad women tantalizing the potential renter with what lies within. but some of them... some of them lacked any subtly at all.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who has to take a sneak peek at all the dirtier titles that occasionally came through their doors. the ones marketed as more "hardcore" that don't bother teasing or leaving the viewer wondering— instead showing blondes with fake tits on the cover, one or two or more cocks shoved into their mouths, full cunts on display and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination before even hitting play.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who doesn't always bother checking the most interesting ones out. they don't even make it out of the fucking store, let alone into the privacy of his own bedroom. he's instead taking his pick and inquisitiveness into the back room at the end of his shift when he should solely be focusing on putting a rewind on the stack of returns. the ones that are being dragged along under his arm with the selected gangbang in brand new condition that he gets to test run first.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who puts his curiosity before his nonexistent work ethic because he's known to be impatient, and immediately feeds the tape into the mouth of an older model vcr that brings the film to life with a mechanical whirr.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe whose impatience in question forces him to press fast forward as he sits on the shitty couch with stained cushions from spilled lunches and dinners. forwarding and forwarding until he finds a scene that makes his whole body react and his dick twitch, and he knows he has to make this quick.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who lets the explicit sounds of pornographic moans and skin against skin fill the space of the small room, and he's about to add to the harmony of it. his fingers are quickly undoing the buckle of his studded belt and letting it fall open just as the film plays at a normal pace, and he can't reach his hand into the confines of those baggy hot topic bought tripp pants fast enough.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who works his wrist at a deliberate and desperate pace that might've left burn marks if he weren't a seasoned, jerking off professional. he's trying to match the rhythm of the video playing out before him of a stretched cunt getting repeatedly fucked and hammered into, while her stuffed throat can't make any sound other than lewd gurgles. he doesn't even know what this chick really looks like, he didn't catch enough of the beginning. but he also doesn't fucking care what she looks like. his eyes are too busy glued elsewhere and he refuses to let them screw shut.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe whose teeth are clicking against the labret pierced through his lower lip as he sucks in harsh breaths in between groans, and bites at the skin while his chest heaves with whimpers. "c'mon please, please, please—" he's not sure what exactly he's begging for... the sweet release, he supposes. every tug and stroke from his fist brought him closer and closer and—

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who doesn't waste much time after cum coats his hand. the mess is lazily wiped on his shirt after he shoved his cock back into his boxers and it's like nothing happened at all. he reaches to rewind the tape back to the beginning until it clicks and the machine spits it back out, and it's shoved back into the pristine sleeve to be put aside before he moves on to the stack of returns.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Dp x Dc thoughts and stuff

New Dimension, Who's This?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

From Danny's short experience Jason was about as trusting as he first was when Fright Night joined him. He didn’t think Frighty’s method of accept my eternal loyalty or die would work very well here. The guy, despite looking like a brick wall and a fridge had a child, seemed to have a very gooey center. Now to hope that wasn’t just the contaminated ecto.

Contact was the easiest way to get the bad ecto (Becto?) out and he was NOT one for cuddling. Just mentioning it made the man squirm, well not outwardly, but his core shivered.

Danny didn't see a big deal in it, but maybe it had been the years in the ghost realm, where personal space wasn't really a thing when you can phase through people... his human half was also used to Tucker and Sam, whom he'd shared a bed with so many times Jazz ended up giving him a pamphlet on "healthy polyamory".

Alfred, the name of the butler, had convinced Jason to take him on a tour of the manor. There were about a million rooms, way too many living spaces (no one needed that many seating areas), a whole barn, and a really nice kitchen with food that didn't fight back.

As they walked Danny kept close, either a hand on his shoulder or floating close enough to be up against him.

Although Jason seemed stoic externally Danny could feel each and every emotion he had. He never seemed uncomfortable with Danny, but he was guarded. Some feelings, like nostalgia, became volatile from the corrupted ecto and quickly turned into anger.

One of these times was just seeing Tim, his brother, came out of his room with about 12 empty coffee cups in hand. The feeling, for just a second, started as care that switched to anger quicker than Danny had been expecting. There had been an emotion between the two, but Danny hadn't caught it. The anger seemed more ghostly than the first part, it was shaky and unstable.

With that shift came a surge of ecto that sounded like a screaming child, Danny placed a second hand on him to help filter it out. His eyes flickered green then went back to the light blue with a grayish outline that they had been before.

Tim had stopped in his tracks, frozen in place with his mountain of dirty cups. No one moved. Then, as if nothing happened, Jason continued walking, leading Danny to what he’d come to find was the library.

Danny loved to read as a kid, but he died, had to stop the ghost coming through his parent's portal, save the world, pass high school, become king, and give up a more human life to dedicate to ruling an entire dimension that he never got back into it. Especially once he'd established peace throughout most of the realm: a majority of his work consisted of paper work. Very boring paper work.

"You can grab a book if you want." Jason sat on a comfy looking chair, leaning into it and slouching down. He looked a lot less intimidating like this.

"Nah. I have to read a lot for work, but thanks for the offer." Danny floated above him, one hand anchoring him to the man.

"What do you do for work?" Jason asked, not putting the book down.

"Lot of people sell their soul." Danny watched his own hair flowing in the air like it was underwater, he's not sure when it started doing that, but it looked badass so he wasn't complaining. "It’s depressing paperwork when you have to define the worth of a soul in numbers."

Jason hummed and continued to read. They sat there like that for a while before Jason spoke up again.

"How did you know the pit rage was taking over, when we were in the hall."

"Ghost speak isn't translatable exactly, but your core kinda babbles like a baby." Danny looked down at the man, he'd closed his book. "It cries when it's angry and cries when it's sad, but your human emotions come first and are amplified by your core."

"So, what, you just heard a ghost crying?"

"More like I heard your human emotions through a megaphone and then ghostly crying right after."

Jason picked his book back up, but Danny had a feeling he wasn't actually reading it.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours to Danny. He didn't think it right to ask any questions. Besides, he was being vague about his own answers too.

Through the years he'd gotten the hang of being cryptic enough while still giving an answer from Clocky.

Clockwork!

Danny sat up, accidentally pulling Jason up with him a bit. "I need to get in contact with Clockwork!"

Jason grumbled and fixed his jacket, "Who's that?"

"The ancient of time, he'll know how to get me back and how to fix you... if he answers or wasn't behind this."

...

Jason did not seem happy about contacting the hellblazer/detective, but he was in town. What luck.

Danny no longer felt very lucky when the blonde detective with a strong English accent started yelling.

"This is the fucker wreaking havoc with the lazarus pits?"

Jason sighed, "Can you help us or not?"

The man breathed out a puff of smoke and mumbled to himself. "Yeah, yeah. I can help." He sat on the nearest chair and looked down at his PDA, or well, Jason said they were phones. This universe seemed a few years past his own. "The infinite realms aren't easy to get a hold of. You need to be pretty powerful to go in between the realms. How did you get stuck here anyway?"

"Was practicing with my dimension hopping dog, I went through a portal, he didn't. Now I'm stuck here." Technically that wasn't a lie, he was with Cujo when he himself had made the portal.

"Dimension hopping dog, right." He took another hit from his cigarette before grunting and standing up. Danny wasn't a fan of this type: arrogant bastards that believe you aren't worth their time. "Only thing I can think of is a summoning."

"Okay sure, how do we do that?" Danny asked floating behind Jason, a hand on his back. John looked at him skeptically, so Danny shot back. "I've never done a summoning that would be ridiculous! That's like standing in the same room with someone and calling them."

"Fine, let’s go down to the cave."

Once in fruit loop 3.0's basement the hellblazer pulled out a book and started drawing out patterns on the floor. Danny recognized a few words, which gave him confidence that the summoning would at least bring someone from the infinite realms.

The wording was very old, but from what he could read it was about summoning the most powerful being in the infinite realms.

Danny assumed it would be Clockwork, and just hoped its wasn’t some manifestation of Pariah Dark.

John finished, then turned to stand at the front as if he'd rather be anywhere else but here, and started to chant. The circle glowed a familiar homely green when he feels a pull in his gut.

"Fuck."

...

Jason watched as Constantine drew out the circle with strange hieroglyphs. He'd read that book when trying to find ways to remove the pit rage years ago. This summoning was meant for the strongest being in the entire realm. It could be any kind of monstrosity.

His stomach dropped when the sickly green glow filled the room. The shadows danced unnaturally and the room dropped a few degrees.

Behind him Danny made a blip of a noise and disappeared. For a moment he assumed the man was scared, making himself invisible to hide from the creature crawling out from a hell dimension.

Only he didn't feel Danny behind him anymore.

"Welp... didn't expect that. Definitely an ego boost I tell ya." Standing in the center of the circle was Danny. He didn't look anything like the man he'd spent all day with. He was a few feet taller, had pale green skin that shone almost white and six lanky arms with pointed nails. The fangs and slightly pointed ears he already had were pulled longer, his legs were just as unsettling as his arms, it almost looked like he'd been pulled through a black hole. Stretched through time and space.

His hair was longer as well, it floated above him like it wasn't experiencing gravity. Floating above that was a ring of a green aurora borealis. His face was hard to look at directly, it shifted. It was just the outlines, it was all eyes, it was empty, it was a black hole.

Around him shone little starts that twinkled occasionally, Jason had been part of the Justice League when a solar flare nearly killed half the planet. This being had the power of hundreds of those and was moving them around absentmindedly. one hand seemed to burn slightly, but it was too bright for him to focus on it.

He looked ethereal and terrifying.

Constantine broke the silence first, "State who you are!"

In a million voices that echoed through the cave and into Jason's chest Danny spoke.

"I am Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Champion of Pariah Dark, Bringer of Peace, Ancient of Space, The Great One." Da... Phantom looked down at the circle. There was amusement in his voice, "I see, the words I didn't recognize were a binding of truth, that means I can only communicate in ghost speak."

Constantine looked more fed up than scared, but he knew when the con-man bit off more than he could chew. He turned to Jason and whispered to him, "He's the bloody king. I'm not helping you fuck the king."

"I do not need help with that." Phantom said before shining brighter, a green tinge covering the edges of his body.

Constantine turned back, most likely expecting the creature couldn't hear them. "I met Pariah Dark, your magical essence is..."

"Ghosts have cores." Phantom corrected, crossing the central arms as the rest continued moving stars around.

"Yeah, yeah. Your core is different. Since when are you king?"

"Time moves differently between realms. On my earth it was about a decade ago, but by the zones standards it was nearly 50. When did you last hear about them?"

Constantine huffed, pocketing the cigarette that had gone out when Phantom appeared. “Three years ago, but I don’t delve into the infinite realms often.”

“Zatana helped me a bit with the whole being dead thing. Maybe she'll know?” Jason hadn’t talked to her much in the years that followed, she’d not been able to help him. Though now looking back he hadn’t given her much of a chance.

“Yeah, that might…” Once again Phantom interrupted Constantine.

“Wait, wait. I know this magical signature.” The two looked back at the being, “You're the bastard who keeps selling bits of his soul. Do you know how many disputes I've had to settle, how much fucking paper work I've had to do because of you!”

Constantine, ever the survivalist bolts. An act Jason hadn’t been expecting in the slightest. The hellblazer threw the book at him when he left, muttering something that changed the green color to something softer, less toxic.

Jason goes to stand in front of Phantom, the man he’d spent the entire day with was an eldritch being of unfathomable power. He excused the summoning with a wave of his hand, as the book showed.

Although he did shrink down to a more human size, only his face changed in appearance. The rest of him was still pale and lanky, the pointy ears looking cuter than they had before, whe they were as long as a sword.

Jason stayed silent. How was he meant to go about this. What had he promised to this being that it was willing to stay with him. What had he sold to the creature that dictates the value of a life.

 “Oh sweet!" Danny/Phanton did a strange squat and wiggle like he was trying his legs out for the first time in a while. "Wanna go for like a walk or something?”

Jason’s brain seemed to skip a grove when he heard Danny’s voice coming out of the blueish creature.

“A walk sounds nice.” Jason said, ignoring how his mind was racing with the possibilities of this being really curing him… and of what he’ll ask in return.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

@bjurnberg, @skulld3mort-1fan, @akikkobara @undead-bi-dinosaur, @amyheart19, @phoenixdemonqueen, @not-your-average-url, @seraphinedemort, @theywontletmeusetheoneiwant,  @satisfactionbroughtmeback, @kyrianclawraith, @i-always-say-yea, @gin2212

(sorry this took forever, im certain being a fanfic writter curses you or something. So many fucking things were happening at once gah. I've had this plotted out since i posted part 2, but never got around to turn it into a realish fic)

[silver-hwaberry]

EIGHTEEN: first impressions and revelations

Warnings: mentions of mental health disorder, mention of self harm scars

Word count: 9k

Summary: Seonghwa meets Lunas parents, the meeting goes well until her mom accidentally causes a fuss. It forces Luna to open up to Seonghwa and leaves her feeling drained but someone unexpected offers their support during this difficult moment.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

(A/N: this chapter will have a 3rd person POV towards the end. I want to start incorporating Ateez thoughts and actions instead of solely Lunas. I will switch between Luna and 3rd person from this point onwards. I would appreciate any feedback on this, good or bad so feel free to message me)

Seonghwa and I arrive at my parents' apartment, laughter already echoing through the door from within, it dawns on me that a relationship isn't just about finding someone who fits perfectly into your life. It's about creating a space for each other, intertwining routines and quirks, and embracing the journey with open hearts. I felt like I could have that with the guys but I also knew I could never ever allow my feelings for them to develop into love or anything near that.

My parents' relationship began in a unique way, their bond forged through circumstances yet blossoming into true love. I grew up witnessing their resilience as they overcame every obstacle thrown their way - from my father's long and difficult tours of duty, to my mother's constant packing and moving with little notice. My mom making sure I had the best childhood she could possible give me. Despite their opposing views and frequent disagreements on most topics, their love is unbreakable and together they are an unstoppable force. I always dreamt of finding that same kind of love with someone someday.

The feeling of Seonghwas fingers tighten subtly in mine pulls me from my thoughts and I look up at him.

"Are you definitely sure we shouldn't have brought flowers for your mom?" he asks me and I can see a flicker of nerves in his eyes

"Absolutely. She isn't a big fan of flowers. She only likes them for decoration and not as a gift. Wine is always a winner with her and the chocolates are for my dad." I answer. "If you think I have a massive sweet tooth, you are about to see exactly where I get it from!"

"Should I refer to your dad as Major Lee?" he asks

"It isn't necessary at all. My dad is not old school military where he expects everyone to call him by his rank or even as sir outside of his work." I say "He is incredibly laid back so don't worry!"

With a steady hand, I reach up to the doorbell and give it a firm push. The door swings open a split second later with a gentle creak and my mom greets us with a warm smile.

"Oh hello!!" she says as if we have arrived unexpected and she hasn't been camped out at the door waiting for our arrival. "Come in, come in!" she opens the door fully and ushers us in. We slip off our shoes and enter the inviting space of the lounge, where my dad stands up from the sofa, his expression stoic. My mom joins him, her smile never faltering, while my dad's eyes scan over Seonghwa with an unreadable look. The air is filled with a mix of anticipation and tension.

I briefly look at Seonghwa who is holding eye contact but I can see he looks nervous. I introduce, "This is Seonghwa."

He greets them politely with a bow, "Hello, Major Lee and Mrs. Lee."

"You can just call us Sam and Eunbi," my mom responds with a warm smile. "Gosh you are more handsome in real life!!" she adds before hugging him suddenly. I can see he is caught off guard, I should have warned him she is a hugger. However I've never seen her hug a boyfriend ever! "You two look so cute together, with your couple outfits!" my mom says pulling back from Seonghwa.

"Not couple outfit, we just happened to be wearing the same colours." I say

"Well that just shows how in tune you are with one another!" she smiles widely

"Is that a box of chocolates I see?" my dad says with a small smile on his face, spotting the gift bag in Seonghwa's hand. He has a knack for detecting chocolate from miles away. I can see he is trying to remain in scary dad mode but with the prospect of his beloved chocolate he cannot keep up the facade and I have to suppress a giggle.

"Yes sir." Seonghwa replies, handing them over to him

"Seonghwa also picked out a bottle of wine for you, Mom." I say

"Oh you didn't need to do that! Thank you Seonghwa." she smiles at him "Dinner will be served soon so make yourself comfortable!" she adds

"Please, have a seat Seonghwa," my dad invites him to the decorated dining table, adorned with fresh flowers and flickering candles. My mom has gone all out for this dinner tonight!

With a gentle hand on my back, Seonghwa guides me to the table and pulls out a chair for me. I catch a faint smile of approval from my dad. It was one of his classic tests, something he's done with all of my previous boyfriends. He wants to see if Seonghwa is traditional and a gentleman, helping me sit before taking a seat himself. I didn't bother mentioning the test to Seonghwa. He always pulls out my chair for me, unless one of the other guys beats him to it. I had no doubt he would pass this test with flying colours.

“I've made a cottage pie, I hope that's alright with you, Seonghwa,” my mom says, looking at him.

“Of course,” he replies, nodding and remaining standing by the table.

“Oh, that's a relief!” my mom sighs. “I'll go check on it.”

"Take a seat." my dad nods towards him.

I know Seonghwa was waiting for my parents to sit first before he did. He takes a seat next to me and pulls his chair closer to the table.

“What exactly is a... cottage pie?” he leans in and whispers to me as my dad heads into the kitchen to assist my mom. His eyes hold a look of confusion, causing me to giggle. Unable to resist, I kiss his lips.

“It's minced beef mixed with gravy and topped with mashed potatoes. My mom adds carrots, peas and onions to hers. It's really delicious,” I explain with a smile. "You will like it!"

“Well that does sound delicious,” he responds with a smile of his own.

"My moms cooking is so good!" I murmur with a smile, nodding in agreement.

Seonghwa leans towards me. "If your moms cooking is anything like yours, I have no doubt that I'll love it." His lips meet mine in a sweet kiss, and I can't help but smile at the gesture. I respond with just as much affection, savouring the moment as his hand delicately cups my face.

"My wife and daughter have impeccable culinary skills," my dad's voice interrupts us, causing Seonghwa to jump back and letting go of me. My dad stands there, holding two glasses of wine in hand and a playful smirk on his face as he catches Seonghwa kissing me. Knowing how traditional Seonghwa is, I can see the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

I can't help but laugh as my dad's mischievous side starts to show. It's a good sign, but I'm not sure how Seonghwa will react to it during our first meeting. After all, my dad has a unique sense of humour.

His eyes twinkle playfully as he walks over to the dining table and sets down the glasses in front of us.

"Honey, don't tease the poor boy," my mom scolds with a grin while placing two more glasses on the table. "Seonghwa, please ignore my husband. He thinks he's funnier than he actually is."

"How dare you!" My dad gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. "I'll have you know that everyone at work thinks I'm the funniest Major on base!"

"Oh honey, that's only because they're afraid of you!" My mom lightly taps his shoulder. "If they don't laugh, you'll make them do 100 laps around the base."

"Well, I never!" My dad sighs theatrically.

I can see Seonghwa begin to relax a bit as he watches my parents' playful banter. But his shoulders are still tense. Under the table, I reach for his hand to give him some reassurance.

"Why don't you be useful and help me with the plates?" My mom suggests with a laugh.

"I can help." Seonghwa offers, standing up from his seat.

"You will do no such thing! You are a guest here and your only job is to eat and drink!" my mom insists, playfully pulling my dad's arm back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that, my dad loves to joke around," I say with a smile as Seonghwa settles back into his seat.

"It's fine. I just felt a little uncomfortable that your dad caught us," he responds, sheepishly smiling.

"I know but don't worry about it. The fact that my dad is joking around with you means he likes you," I reassure him. "So don't feel awkward." I squeeze his hand before bringing it to my lips to kiss the back of it.

Seonghwas cheeks flush a little as he takes a deep breath and smiles back at me looking more relaxed. My parents start to bring in plates of food. We each have a large portion of cottage pie on our plates with bowls of vegetables, salad, rice and ramen in the middle to help ourselves to. I notice Seonghwas eyes grow a bit bigger at the sheer amount of food available.

"This looks delicious!" he says as my parents take their places at the table.

The aroma of my moms delicious cooking fills the dining room, making my mouth water in anticipation. It has been so long since I had her cooking. I glance at Seonghwa, and see his eyes shining with excitement.

"Well help yourselves!" my mom smiles gesturing to the food.

I notice her keen gaze fixed on Seonghwa as he takes his first bite of the cottage pie. He must be aware of her scrutiny, but he adeptly conceals it with a nonchalant expression.

"Wow, this is absolutely delicious!" Seonghwa's eyes widen in delight and I can tell he truly means it. He has always been a lover of food, savouring each and every flavour with an almost childlike enthusiasm.

"Oh I am glad!" My moms shoulders visibly relax as she takes a bite of her own food. I know she was anxious for Seonghwa to enjoy the meal she prepared for him.

As we all continue to enjoy our meal, the conversation flows effortlessly. My dad, always the entertainer, begins to regale us with a funny story from his younger days.

"So there I was, trying to impress your mom on our first date," he chuckles, his eyes glinting mischievously. I knew he was going to tell this story because he takes every opportunity he can get to tell it and honestly I love hearing it each time. "I took her to this fancy restaurant and thought I was being all smooth, ordering the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. Little did I know that Eunbi couldn't stand the taste of it!"

We all burst into laughter, including Seonghwa, who seems to have loosened up even more.

"It wasn't that I couldn't stand the taste of it, I had just never had such fancy wine before and it was a little strong for me back then!" my mom laughs

"You have the taste for expensive wines now though!" my dad comments

"I certainly do!" she says winking and holding up the glass of wine we brought before taking a drink.

"And then after all that you friend zoned me!" he laughs looking at her

"I was the best damn friend you ever had!" she replies looking back at him

"3 years later she finally agreed to be my girlfriend." he says, "and we were blessed with our little Luna soon afterwards!"

As our conversation continues, I can't help but pay attention to every small detail - the way Seonghwa chuckles at my father's cheesy jokes, his genuine interest in my mother's work stories. It all seems to be going smoothly, and I finally let myself relax.

"Luna has told us a little about you," my mom says to Seonghwa. "I understand that you need a degree of anonymity with your job and she's been very respectful about that."

Seonghwa blushes at her words, responding with a grateful smile. "I consider myself incredibly lucky to be a part of Luna's life," he says humbly. I reach for his hand under the table. The familiar warmth of his touch brings a smile to my face as I gently squeeze back, grateful to have him and the other guys in my life.

"Seonghwa, how did you get into the industry?" my dad asks, his voice gentle and curious.

"Ah, well, it started when I was young," Seonghwa replies "I always loved music, and when I saw kpop idols on TV, I knew that was what I wanted to do. So I auditioned for different agencies until KQ accepted me."

"Your hard work has certainly paid off," my dad says, nodding approvingly. "Forgive me, I don't keep up with kpop these days. My three daughters are the experts on that." he laughs "Luna says you're group is successful internationally. That's quite an accomplishment."

"Thank you, sir," Seonghwa responds, his gratitude genuine. "I've been fortunate to find a great team who supports and challenges me. We're like family."

As I listened to their exchange, I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for Seonghwa. His dedication to his craft and love for his bandmates was truly inspiring. I am proud of all of them and their hard work. I catch my moms eye, and she gives me a knowing smile. She understands how much this moment means to me.

The dinner has progressed smoothly so far, everyone enjoying the delicious meal my mom had prepared, the conversation had flowed so naturally and it was heartwarming to see that Seonghwa was fitting in so seamlessly with my family.

Out of nowhere, my dad breaks the silence with a serious tone. "Seonghwa," he begins, his voice holding a weight I can feel in my chest. "I have an important question to ask you." My heart starts to race as anxiety sets in at the sudden shift in his demeanour.

"Of course, sir," Seonghwa replies, his expression attentive.

“How serious are you about my daughter?” he asks

"Dad!" I interject, feeling mortified that he would ask such a personal question.

"I am very serious, sir," Seonghwa answers confidently without skipping a beat.

"We cherish Luna and only want the best for her. She has faced challenges with all our moving due to my job, health issues, and even moving to Seoul alone at 18 years old. I will always worry about her, regardless of how grown and independent she may be. I will do everything in my power to seek justice for her if anyone ever harms her or causes her the slightest bit of sorrow." My dad continues speaking. "But I trust you to take care of her, to protect her and ensure her happiness."

Seonghwa's expression softens, and he nods earnestly. His voice, laced with determination and sincerity, cuts through the air as he speaks. "I promise you, sir," he declares. "I will pour every ounce of my being into ensuring Luna's happiness and well-being. You have my unwavering word on that."

"Thank you, Seonghwa," my dad says with a smile, glancing at my mom who gives him a nod. "We approve of your relationship."

"I know that in this modern era, our approval may not hold much weight, and we're not exactly traditional people either," my mom chimes in, "but when it comes to the happiness and safety of our firstborn daughter, we take things seriously."

"I completely understand, and I also take it very seriously," Seonghwa responds, looking at me. "Your daughter means everything to me."

I can't help but smile at his words, feeling my heart swell with emotions for him.

“Wait until the twins meet you,” my dad beams, “They're going to adore you! We haven't revealed Luna's employer yet; mostly because Hyejin can be quite loud at times!" he chuckles along with Seonghwa. "But also because they are familiar with your band."

"Oh right!" Seonghwa smiles

"As a matter of fact, we took them to see you perform in London earlier this year. It wasn't until Eunbi mentioned it that I even realised Luna worked for you."

"Wow," Seonghwa says, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "I hope we met their expectations."

"Oh, you definitely did!" my mom joins in with a laugh. "They couldn't stop talking about it for weeks."

As the meal nears its end, I realise that tonight was a significant moment in our relationship. My parents' acceptance of Seonghwa was more than I could have hoped for. I know my mom will eventually figure out there is something more between us, but for now, I can relax.

After my mom practically pushes us into the lounge, refusing Seonghwa's offer to help with the dishes, I tell him it's best not to argue with them. We settle onto the sofa as my parents put away the dishes.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, his hand resting on my knee.

"I am," I reply, smiling at him and leaning in for a kiss. I feel his emotions through the touch of his lips on mine. "And you? My dad hasn't scared you off?"

"It would take more than that to scare me away," he reassures me with a grin.

As we sit on the sofa, our hands intertwined, I start to feel a mix of excitement and tranquillity.

"So, what do you think of my parents?" I ask, breaking the silence.

Seonghwa looks at me with a warm smile. "I can see where you get your kindness from," he replies. "They're genuinely caring people, and it's clear that they love you."

I blush at his words, feeling a rush of gratitude toward my parents. "I'm lucky to have them," I say softly. "And I'm lucky to have you too."

His eyes sparkle as he leans closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "No, Luna. I'm the lucky one." He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch sending shivers down my spine. "We all are." he whispers

I lean into his touch, feeling contentment wash over me.

My parents return to the living room carrying a tray of tea and biscuits, taking a seat across from us on the sofa.

"Would you prefer to have coffee Seonghwa?" my mom asks

"No, tea is perfect with me." he replies

"I assume my daughter has been trying to convert you all onto British tea!" my dad says. My dad knows me too well.

"She has been pretty successful in that sense!" Seonghwa smiles with a light laugh

The air was thick with a sense of warmth and comfort, like a warm embrace. But as my mom settled into her seat, I couldn't help but feel a subtle change in her disposition. The light in her eyes dimmed slightly, and the corners of her mouth turned downwards ever so slightly. A hint of worry or concern seemed to weigh on her mind, making me suddenly feel tense and uneasy.

"Luna, how have you been coping?" she asks me

My heart leaps in my chest as I know what she is referring to.

"I've been absolutely fine mom, you don't need to worry."

"Have you been taking your medication regularly?" she asks, concern evident in her voice.

Seonghwa looks startled by the sudden change in topic, his eyes darting between me and my mother. My heart begins to beat faster in my chest as I look at my mom and nod, replying in a careful tone, "Yes, Mom."

"Are you absolutely certain?" my mom persists. "Taking it every day, without fail? You know how crucial it is for your health to stay on top of that. With all the recent changes in your life - your new job, moving apartments, and a new relationship on top of all that - it would be easy for you to forget such things."

"Mom," I say with a strained tone, attempting to keep my composure. I plead silently with my eyes for her to stop her questioning. Seonghwa's concerned expression only adds to the pressure building inside me, and I know I need to reassure him too. As I struggle to maintain a facade of calmness, beads of sweat form on my forehead, betraying my true emotions. The air in the room feels thick and suffocating, like a pressure cooker about to explode. "I promise you, everything is completely under control," I finally manage to say, trying to sound confident.

"Honey, you don't want to end up in hospital again."

Seonghwa speaks hesitantly, his eyes shifting between my mom and me. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course," I respond, placing my hand on his arm in reassurance. "It's nothing to worry about."

My mom lets out a sigh, "Luna..."

Luckily, my dad senses the mood and jumps in. "It's okay, honey," he says.

But my mom won't let it go. "Sambeom, it's not okay!" she says, using his formal birth name. It's never a good sign when she does that. And when she calls me mine too it means things are really serious. "Younhas bipolar disorder is not nothing!"

I feel my chest tighten, my hands begin to shake as I anticipate Seonghwa's response to my mother's words and I find myself wanting to escape from the lounge and the awkward conversation. My eyes frantically scan the room, desperate for a way out, but I know deep down that I can't just run away from this.

"Mom, I really wish you hadn't said that." I say in English, my voice trembles.

"Why not?" she replies, turning back to look at me with furrowed brows.

"Because I hadn't told Seonghwa yet!" I reply, feeling more anxious than ever now that he is looking at me with concern in his eyes and confusion etched on his face.

But my mom, ever the worrier, couldn't let it go. "How could you not have told him?! Seonghwa has a right to know. How can he look after you if he doesn’t know?"

"Actually," I counter, trying to keep my emotions in check, "It's my decision when and how to share something so personal. And also, I can look after myself!! I don’t need someone else to do it for me!"

She questions, "Shouldn't your boyfriend know everything about you?"

"Mom..." I pause, unsure of how to respond so she continues

"How can you expect to have an open and trusting relationship if you hide important details like that from him? On what planet do you expect a relationship to grow when you can't even be honest with him?!"

I try to reply but nothing comes out of my mouth. I know my mom has the best intentions and is only concerned for me but I feel so angry at this moment. Telling Seonghwa I am bipolar was one thing but to question my relationship was another. As the tension mounts, my dad clears his throat and attempts to change the subject. "So, Seonghwa, tell us more about your life as a singer. It must be very exciting."

I struggle to pay attention to the new conversation, my mind consumed by the revelation of my secret and the vulnerability it has exposed. Seonghwa notices my distress and tries to comfort me silently by holding my hand, but I need some space. I pull my hand away from his grasp and excuse myself to the bathroom, quickly leaving the room before anyone can respond.

"Luna!" I hear my mom call out as I enter the hallway.

"Give her a moment, honey," my dad interjects.

As I close the bathroom door behind me I fall back into it. I look up and see my reflection in the mirror of the door. I look awful! The tears that had filled my eyes has smudged eyeliner and mascara. My face is flushed red. My appearance mirrored the turmoil within me, a dishevelled mess that I couldn't hide or fix.

“Fuck!” I moan quietly, sinking to the floor, my body heavy with frustration. I slide over to the bath and rest against it. I pull my legs up and place my head on my knees. My hands pressed flat against the cool marble flooring, providing some sense of stability amidst the chaos in my mind. I close my eyes and take slow, purposeful breaths, trying to focus on the sensation of the cold surface beneath me in an attempt to ground myself before I spiral further and let it consume me completely.

After 5, maybe even 10 minutes I hear a light tap on the door and I raise my head, startled out of my thoughts. "It's me, darling," Seonghwa's gentle voice calls from outside. "You don't need to open the door, but please just let me know that you're alright."

I lean forward to unlock it before moving back against the bath, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. The room is dimly lit, with only a small window allowing a sliver of light to enter. Seonghwa enters slowly, his soft footsteps barely audible on the tiled floor. He sees me sitting on the floor and quietly closes and locks the door behind him before taking a seat beside me. His long legs stretched out in front of him.

"You don't have to face this alone." He says softly. "You have the 8 of us right here with you."

As I listen to his words, my frazzled nerves start to calm down. His reassurance is like a soothing balm, but even with his comforting words, I can't shake the fear that my condition will impact our relationship, despite his promises.

I start to speak, my words hesitant and uncertain. "Seonghwa...I never intended to deceive you. To lie to you all."

He interrupts me, his voice full of reassurance. "You didn't lie at all."

The weight of my guilt hangs heavy in the air, suffocating me with every breath. My hands shake as I grasp onto my legs tightly, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill over. "I did lie, by omission," I finally choke out, my voice trembling with emotion. "You all made it clear from the beginning that honesty was necessary for this relationship to thrive, and I wasn't. My mom is right, if I can’t be honest with you all then this relationship won’t work!” I say holding back the tears.

Seonghwas head quickly snaps to look at me. “Darling, my feelings for you haven’t changed. I am not letting you go.” he replies, putting an arm around me. 

“But…” I begin but he stops me

"I'm not upset that you didn't tell us; I understand why. You are an incredibly independent person, you made it clear to all of us from the start that you do not like being fussed over and you probably knew that we would do exactly that if we knew. All I care about is your safety and how you're coping with it on your own. Are you okay?" he says

“I am!” I confirm, letting myself lean against his body while still keeping my arms tightly wrapped around my knees. “I truly mean it. I’ve been diligently taking my prescribed medication and regularly visiting my therapist."

"That is good!" I can hear the smile on his face. "Does your therapy help?"

"It helps a lot! Remember when I said I was going to the karaoke room with my cousin last week?" I feel him nod in reply "I was actually at one of my therapy sessions. I hated having to lie to you all, but Hongjoong knew where I was. He has known for a while." I take the opportunity to look at him, hoping to gauge his reaction to what we are talking about.

"That makes me feel better knowing you weren't dealing with it all alone." he smiles softly at me

"I was planning to tell you and the others when I was ready. I swear to you!” I say as I slowly unwrap my arms from my legs and let them move towards him

He pulls me closer, and I allow myself to fully sink into his embrace now. "I know you would have," he says as his hand strokes my face. "You just needed the perfect moment, huh?" I nod silently, feeling grateful for his understanding. He kisses the top of my head, and for a moment everything feels okay. His hands move me so I am sitting on his lap facing him.

"My bipolar doesn't define me. Just like my allergies don't but it is a part of who I am." I say looking into his eyes "As much as I want to, I can't change that. It makes people treat me as if I am about to break or a child who can't do anything for myself, like manage my medication or keep on top of my condition." I look down as my hands rest on his chest, "I was scared that you would all treat me the same way or decide I am not worth it."

"I know, Luna," he says softly, his voice unwavering. I feel his fingers touch the tip of my chin, gently tilting my head to look at him "We would never think you aren't worth it. And I don't normally speak for the others but I will now because I am 100% certain of these words - none of us are going anywhere. I don't think any of us can imagine life without you in it now." The sincerity in his gaze brings tears to my eyes and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I don't deserve such understanding and compassion. Leaning in, I press my lips against his, relieved when he kisses me back. We stay that way for a moment, our foreheads touching.

"I am sorry for leaving you alone with my parents like I did." I say with a small sigh.

He responds, "It's fine. You needed space. Your mom explained that when you get overwhelmed you need time alone to do a little reset." He takes my face in his hands. "Please don't be mad at me for what I am about to say next, but she does have a point. About the new changes you've gone through lately, I mean."

I pull back slightly to look at him, noticing the worry in his eyes. I lean in for a kiss to reassure him. "I'm not mad and of course she's right! She usually is but it just doesn't make her overbearing nature any easier to deal with." I say

"I can see that." he says softly "Do you want to go home now?"

"Yes, please. Anywhere but this bathroom floor. I'll speak with my mom tomorrow, when we're both in a better state of mind." I let out a sigh of relief that he understands what I need.

"I'll talk to your parents and grab your things. Don't worry," he smiles at me reassuringly. "I'll wait by the door for when you're ready. Take your time."

"Thank you," I smile back as he helps me up and stands up too. He kisses my cheek before unlocking the bathroom door and leaving. I look at myself in the mirror and groan. My makeup is smudged all over my face, making me look like a panda. I try to clean it up, but it's no use. I grab a makeup wipe from the counter top and remove most of it. Even though my face is still red and puffy from crying, Seonghwa has seen me look worse first thing in the morning and at this point of the evening I don't even care. I take out my contact lenses, which have become incredibly uncomfortable from all the tears.

As I go into the hallway I see Seonghwa and my dad at the front door. My bag and coat are in Seonghwas hands as he talks with my dad quietly. I can't hear what they are saying in their hushed voiced but they both have serious looks on their faces so I can only assume it is about me.

"There is my beautiful girl!" my dad smiles as he sees me and opens his arms. "It was lovely to see you both tonight." he adds as I sink into him

"Is mom okay?" I ask quietly. It didn't feel right leaving without saying goodbye to her but at the same time I didn't trust myself not to say something and inside there was still a bubble of anger in the pit of my stomach.

"Don't worry, she is fine! You two will patch things up when you are both in a calmer mood, just like you always do." he whispers into my ear. "Now make sure to text me when you are both safely home!" he add louder for Seonghwa to hear.

Seonghwa helps me put my coat on and my bag then we leave after my dad hands over a bag full of leftover food. As we walk out of the apartment building and into the cool night air, I feel a sense of relief washing over me. The tension that had built up between my mom and me is still there and will be until we speak properly, but for now, I feel a little calmer. Seonghwas hand clasps onto mine as we walk back to our apartment. In the dark surroundings of the night and without my contact lenses in, my vision is bad and I am relying purely on Seonghwa to guide me.

"Are you alright?" he asks with concern. "Your face looks like you're in pain."

"Oh no, this is just my 'I can't see shit without my glasses on' face." I reply

"What about your contacts?" he inquires

"I had to take them out in the bathroom. They were making my eyes irritated from all the tears." I explain.

"Darling, why didn't you tell me you couldn't see? Hop on my back and I'll carry you the rest of the way." he offers, moving in front of me.

"Aww, I appreciate it, but I'm fine!" I laugh lightly. "Just hold my hand tight and make sure I don't walk into anything like a streetlight or a plant!"

"Okay." he sighs, I can't see his expression clearly enough but the tone said it all.

He takes my hand in his again, guiding me gently as we make our way into the park. There is a peaceful quietness between us. Seonghwa leads me to a tree adorned with twinkling fairy lights, and in the soft glow, I can see his face a little clearly now. He pulls me into an embrace, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting gesture. I nuzzle into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent mixed with the crisp autumn air.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of this," he whispers into my ear. "But just remember, no matter what happens with your mom or anything else in life, I'll always be here for you."

A single tear escapes down my cheek, and I cling to him with even more strength. "There's something else I need to tell you," I manage to say. He remains silent, giving me the space and comfort to continue. "I only found out about my bipolar disorder because... I did something really really stupid."

He speaks softly as I pull away from him, trying to gather the courage to tell him face-to-face. "You can tell me," he reassures me.

"I-I tried...I wanted to..." I stumble over my words, struggling to voice what's on my mind. "I'm sorry, I'm just... scared."

"If it's too difficult for you to say, then you don't have to. Our relationship won't change either way," he assures me again.

"No, I need to tell you, it is the least you deserve." I reply taking a deep breath. "I was in a dark place early last year - overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted, and incredibly lonely. I was missing my family, missing my friends. Due to the pandemic I was working very long hours then going home alone. Everything just felt like too much to handle and I didn't know what to do. I wished for peace more than anything though. Just wanted things to stop. I wanted the thoughts to stop." I sigh looking down, scared to look at his face. My eyes focus on a button on his coat as I continue. "My friends brother found me. He was dropping off some food their mom had made for their neighbourhood, she always made extra for everyones friends too so Minjun dropped mine off. He thought I was working that night so had only planned to leave the food in my fridge and go but I wasn't and he found me unconscious. He drove me to the hospital and stayed with me while they.... fixed me" I struggle to say the exact words. "I was soon transferred to the psychiatric unit for assessment, even then he stayed in the hospital building until my Uncle Jihoon and Aunt Soomin arrived 2 days later. They had been in Jeju Island with her family. I stayed in the unit for 5 weeks, during which time I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started medication and therapy treatment." I can feel his arms tighten around me. "It is why I always wear a lot of bracelets or long sleeves, I don't want people to see the scars."

"Thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me," he says, his voice filled with empathy. "I can't begin to imagine the pain you've been through, but I want you to know that I'm here for you now."

A wave of pure relief washes over me. I hadn't expected him to be so understanding.

"Lets get you home!" he smiles.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The apartment is bustling with noise as we enter, now that more people are home. Mingi and Yeosang are engrossed in a game of Mario Kart on the sofa, while Yunho and Jongho watch them play.

“Ah, wasn’t expecting you two back so early!” Yunho smiles looking over at us

"We're all playing Mario Kart, you should join us," Yeosang suggests, eyes fixated on the television screen

I exchange a glance with Seonghwa and give a slight nod. To be honest, I just want to crawl into bed and sleep it off, but I know Yunho will start worrying if I do that. And Seonghwa would definitely be concerned as well, considering recent events.

“Sure.” Seonghwa says, his hand strokes my back gently.

Sitting in the middle of Yunho and Jongho, I catch a subtle exchange of looks between Yunho and Seonghwa. Suddenly, Yunho declares that he's going to make ramen for everyone. He leans in to kiss my cheek before heading to the kitchen, Seonghwa follows closely behind. My heart races with fear that Seonghwa might spill my secret to Yunho. He sees me looking at him, probably with a look of fear in my eyes and comes over to me instead, he surprises me by leaning down and planting a gentle kiss on my other cheek. In a hushed tone, he reassures me, "It's alright. I am just going to put the food in the fridge. Would you like some toast and jam?"

I shake my head, "Not hungry." I respond.

"Maybe a cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits?" He inquires.

"I'm fine," I say.

"Have some noodles at least, even just a little bit?" He suggests. I look up at his eyes and they look almost pleading-like.

"Okay," I reply quietly. There's no use arguing with him; I can tell he's determined to make sure I eat something.

Seonghwa runs his fingers through my hair gently before heading back into the kitchen. Jonghos body settles next to me on the couch, and I follow suit by bringing my feet up and crossing my legs. Mingi and Yeosang are still engrossed in their game as Jongho and I sit in silence, my gaze fixed on the coffee table in front of us. Tears begin to well up in my eyes again, and I let out a small sniffle that goes unnoticed thanks to the noise from the game as well as Mingi and Yeosangs playful banter with one another over who was in the lead. Or so I thought until I feel Jongho's hand slip into mine. I look at him, surprised by his sudden contact but also comforted by it at the same time. His eyes remain focused on the TV. My gaze shifts down to our linked hands as he gives it a gentle squeeze, our intertwined fingers hidden from view between us on the couch.

As we sit in silence, a sense of understanding permeates the air between us, offering an unspoken solace. I let my head fall against the plush back of the sofa and gaze up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I decide to focus on my breathing. With each inhale and exhale, I can feel my body slowly succumbing to the tiredness. I feel the heavy weight of my head listlessly roll to the side and come to rest on something sturdy and warm. The faint aroma of Jongho's signature cologne lingers in my nose as my mind slips into a state of emotional exhaustion.

─ ｡☆: 3rd person POV :☆｡ ─

Jongho's gaze shifts down to his shoulder as he notices that Luna has succumbed to slumber, her form nestled against him in peaceful repose. He can see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, her body completely relaxed against the side of his body. Unsure of how to proceed, Jongho takes in his surroundings - Mingi and Yeosang engrossed in their race, Seonghwa and Yunho bustling in the kitchen - before returning his attention to Luna, studying her delicate features.

Over the past few weeks, he has made a conscious effort not to stare at her. Which has been easier said than done when he wants nothing more than to look at her, wondering what she sees in him to want to be with him. His thoughts carrying away and convinces himself that maybe it's because of the others around him and he's just a small part of the package deal.

Whenever they are alone together, he becomes too flustered to even speak, let alone truly look at her. But now, for the first time, he can admire Luna's features without feeling self-conscious. He notices that her natural lip shape resembles a heart and she has light coloured freckles sprinkled across her cheeks, a little mole underneath her left eye and a tiny indent of a very old scar on her cheek. He takes this opportunity to fully take in all of her unique features. Jongho allows himself to sink into this moment, feeling grateful for the calm bliss it brings. That Luna feels safe and comfortable enough with him to fall asleep beside him.

As soon as Luna had sat down beside him, he could sense the tension in her body. The murmuring tone of her conversation with Seonghwa when her voice is usually animated even when being quieter, the way Seonghwa looked at her like he was concerned and then the soft sniffle he heard confirmed that something was bothering her. He couldn't just ignore it; he wanted to offer some kind of comfort to her. Without drawing attention or making her uneasy by asking if she was ok, he gently took her hand in his. For a moment, he was worried she might pull away, but when he felt her hand relax in his grasp and he knew she welcomed the support. Now she had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

As Seonghwa comes in from the kitchen holding some bowls of ramen he quickly noticed Luna on Jonghos shoulder.

"Is she sleeping?" he whispers, setting the bowls down on the coffee table.

"Yeah, she just dozed off suddenly," Jongho replies.

Seonghwa disappears into Luna's bedroom and returns with her favourite kuromi blanket in his hands. Mingi and Yeosang turn their attention to Luna as well.

"Is everything alright? With Luna, I mean." Jongho asks as Seonghwa gently lays the blanket over her as Yunho comes in with drinks.

"Yeah, she is fine." Seonghwa replies

"You sure?" Yunho asks, his eyebrow raising slightly

Like Jongho, Yunho had also picked up on her body language when she got home and the look in Seonghwas eyes.

"Yeah, she was just tired on the walk home. I think seeing her family after so long probably took a lot out of her." he explains, gently stroking Luna's cheek. "You know how we can get when we're away from our families for too long."

"Yeah, we definitely do." Mingi nods his eyes looking at her, "It must be harder for Luna though. Her family doesn't even live in the same country as she does."

"How will we get her into her bed?" Yeosang asks

"We can let her rest here for a little while. I don't mind sitting out of the next game, Seonghwa can take my spot. If she doesn't wake up within an hour, I can carry her to her room and one of you can help get her ready for bed," Jongho suggests.

They all agree with that plan. Seonghwa and Yunho sit down and they begin to eat and play. As time passes by, Luna remains sound asleep on Jonghos shoulder, not moving an inch and their hands still entwined. The room is filled with a hushed silence, broken only by soft laughter at the game antics and the occasional clink of utensils as they ate.

Finally Luna begins to stir, feeling a slight stiffness in her neck from the angle her head had been at. Her eyes flutter open, trying to take in her surroundings with her blurred vision.

"Hey sleepyhead!" Jongho greets her quietly with a gentle smile

Luna suddenly sits upright and looks at him, realising she had fallen asleep on him. "Sorry." she mumbles, her hand leaving his. "You should have nudged me to wake up!"

"It is okay, you must have needed the sleep." he says

"You want some noodles? We have some left over." Yunho says

"No thanks, I just want to go to bed. I have work in the morning." she replies yawning loudly "Oh sorry!" she covers her mouth, blushing lightly at how loud it was.

Yunho's hand caresses Luna's back, eliciting a small smile from her to him. He senses something is off, but he doesn't want to pry. At first he thought she was feeling uneasy about their night together but then remembered how she cuddled into him earlier as she waited for Seonghwa, kissed him infront of both Mingi and Seonghwa. While in the kitchen he had asked Seonghwa if everything was okay with Luna, he received the same answer as everyone else - she was just exhausted. And when Yunho discovered her sleeping soundly in the lounge a few minutes later, it seemed to confirm that. However, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the insecurity she had confided in him about the night before.

Yunho is pleasantly surprised when Luna turns to hug him properly. Seonghwas eyes carefully watch her, looking for any signs of feeling upset, as does the others. She stands up from the sofa with the help of Yunho and Jongho, exchanging hugs and goodnight kisses to each of the guys except Jongho. She wasn't sure if he was ready for that level of physical contact yet since he has only held her hand twice and then there was the near kiss in the kitchen the week before.

As she bids Jongho a good night, he reaches out and gently strokes the side of her head before she can turn away. His smile is soft and kind as he looks at her. The others begin to tidy up the lounge, taking the dishes into the kitchen, leaving them alone in the lounge.

"Sorry again for falling asleep on you." she says

"My shoulder is always available if you need it again." he laughs lightly "I hope you have a good sleep sweetheart." he adds moving his hand to cup her cheek delicately.

Luna feels her heart skip a beat at the pet name he has suddenly started calling her recently. Resisting the urge to hug him, she simple smiles and says "You too." before going to her bedroom. Unbeknown to her, Jongho was also holding back from pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly.

Luna smiles as she sees the large kuromi plushie Yunho got her on the bed indicating to her that he had put it in her bedroom while she was out this evening. Immediately she goes over to it and pulls it into her arms, lying on the bed. The soft fabric and faint scent of Yunho giving her comfort.

Once a few moments have passed, she stands up and prepares for bed. She follows her nightly routine of washing her face and brushing her teeth before selecting her pyjamas for the night. After glancing at her usual long-sleeved nightshirt she throws it onto the chair at her desk and instead pulls a vest top from her dresser. It is too hot at night for such a heavy material of the long sleeved shirt and tonight she just wants to be comfortable, not covered up.

She puts on the top and a pair of shorts before picking up the clothes scattered on the floor and tossing them onto the chair with the discarded night shirt.

A soft voice interrupts her thoughts, causing her to turn around and see Seonghwa entering her bedroom. He closes the door behind him before walking over to her.

"I just wanted to check on you before I go to bed," he says gently. "Tonight was a lot for you."

"It was, but I'll be okay Hwa," she replies. "I feel safe here... in my home with all of you."

"I'm glad this feels like home to you, because it is. And I think it's safe to say that we all feel more at home with you here too," he responds.

Luna moves closer to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, feeling his warmth against her own body.

"Are you okay?" she asks. "Tonight must have been overwhelming for you too – not just my parents, but everything else that occurred. You had a lot of heavy information thrown at you."

With a serious expression, Seonghwa says, "I won't hide the truth from you." Luna takes in a sharp breath, bracing herself for whatever he is about to say. "I know it's a lot to handle, but all I want is for you to be happy and healthy. If you tell me that you have your bipolar disorder under control, then I will trust you. But please promise me that if you start feeling like things are slipping or not quite right, you will tell me or Hongjoong immediately." He leans in closer, looking into her eyes as she nods in agreement, her hand moving to the side of his head. "Promise me!"

"I promise you, Hwa. I will tell you." she replies firmly.

A look of slight relief washes over his face, causing his features to soften into a gentle smile. He reaches for her hand, carefully threading his fingers through hers and pressing a tender kiss against the delicate skin of her wrist. Normally, she despises any attention being drawn to her scars, but with him, she feels nothing but safety and acceptance. She knows that he sees and understands her past struggles.

"If you need anything tonight, just come to my room. Even if I am asleep, wake me up." he says looking back at her eyes

"I am sure I will be fine but thank you." she replies

Seonghwa smiles softly at her, nodding his head in understanding before pulling her close and pressing a gentle kiss against her lips. Their breaths mingle in the air between them, warm and sweet.

"All right, then," he whispers back. "Let's get you tucked into bed."

Luna nods as Seonghwa helps her lie down on the soft, cosy pillows of her bed. The sheets are cool against her heated skin but comfortable. He hands over the kuromi plushie, smiling fondly at it as she wraps her arms around it while he pulls up the blankets over her, taking care to make sure she's snug and warm. He tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear and leans in close again to kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight, Luna," he whispers, stroking her cheek with his thumb as he pulls away from her slightly but not letting go of their entwined hands.

"Goodnight, Hwa," she replies softly, her voice barely above a whisper too.

She watches as he switches on her fairy lights, turns off her bedside lamp and makes his way across her room to her door. He gives her one last smile before leaving. She yawns and closes her eyes, as she hears the others quietly making their way upstairs to their respective bedrooms. Tonight didn't go as planned, however Luna knew one thing for certain - she felt lighter knowing she wasn't lying or hiding something from one more person in her life but hoped the time would come soon she would feel ready to tell the others, and that they will be as understanding as Hongjoong and Seonghwa have been.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Taglist: @kiwibaekie @fudgeflyssworld @kodzukein @elk-1998 @khjcoo @pepperony-7 @ateez-babygirl @starillusion13 @stephy-nicole13 @truthbehindthereflection @livingdeadlisa @stayteezdreams @atinyapple1117

[bullet-prooflove]

We had the thing that everyone wanted - Sam Abrams 😏

The Fight Before Christmas - You and Sam get into a fight after he discovers you've been keeping a secret from him.

Should Have - Companion piece to The Fight Before Christmas - There's a lot of things Sam should have done.

Fraught - Companion piece to The Fight Before Christmas and Should Have - Sam makes a decision regarding your relationship.

The thing about your marriage is up until now it was rock solid. Your friends they’ve always told you, ‘I want what you and Sam have’ because Sam, he had always adored you and you, you had always loved him.

He just needs time, you tell yourself when you find his wedding ring on the kitchen table, he needs space but then the divorce papers arrive and suddenly you realise just how serious he is about leaving you.

And that’s what drives you to break the stalemate, because the past couple months  have been a no man’s land between the two of you. Sam shutting you out and you not pushing because you’re scared of this exact thing happening.

Well now it’s happening and it’s time for you to pull up your big girl pants and face it only Sam won’t take your calls, he doesn’t respond to your texts. So you turn up at his office.

If there’s one thing Sam doesn’t like it’s surprises so the sight of you before his desk disarms him completely.

“I don’t have time.” He tells you because the truth is he doesn’t want to deal with this, he’s not emotionally equipped to deal with this.

“Make time.” You tell him, setting the envelop down on the desk in front of him.

He doesn’t know what to say to that because you have never spoken to him but this way but then again he has never put you in this situation before.

“Do you hate me?” You ask him, shoving the divorce papers towards him. “For what I did, for keeping that secret?”

Sam sighs because this is what he’s been trying to avoid, this messiness, the emotions that come with something like this. He’s tired of feeling, he wants to go back to that numbness, to the way he was before he married you.

“No.” He tells you, his gaze focusing on his pen instead of you. “I don’t hate you.”

“Then why…”

“Because being with you has made me soft, weak.” He says as he sags back in his chair. “Before when something bad happened, it didn’t touch me but now I feel everything, the good and the awful and I don’t want that, I don’t want…”

He exhales because his heart, it hurts, it’s been hurting ever since he found out about Lucy. It feels like he’s bleeding out, like his soul is just pouring out of his chest like a river and this is the only way to stop it.

“Sam, you can’t just shut yourself off.” You say softly. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“For me it does.” He says and he sees your jaw clench because you know when you look at him, that this right here, this is the end. “Please don’t fight me on this, I don’t want to take this through the courts but I will if you force me to.”

You feel like he’s punched you, like he’s plunged a knife right into your chest. He reaches for the envelope, removing the paperwork before he turns it towards you and sets the pen down on top.

“This is really what you want?” You ask him, your voice breaking as you pick up the pen and meet his eyes.

“Yes.” He tells you, his finger sliding down to the place where your signature is required. “You need to sign here.”

Love Sam? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

@kmc1989 @secretsquirrelinc @caffeinatedwoman @maryelizabeth13

[madiomens]

I would love to see a cute fluffy Halloween with reader and Noah. Go to the pumpkin patch, freeze together and keep each other warm, come home, carve pumpkins.. all of it 🥰

Hi!! Thank you for requesting <3

I had so much fun writing this. It's so cute :')

Halloween time

"I can't believe you talked me into this." Noah said as I styled his hair.

"Hush. You love me." I said, focusing intently on my work.

The pumpkin patch down the road was hosting their annual costume patch fest. Every year, they have people come down in their halloween costumes and walk around the pumpkin patch, along with the corn maze and hay ride. They have a petting zoo, hot chocolate, and the night ends with a costume contest.

I was currently spraying Noah's hair silver to top off our costumes as Danny Phantom and Sam, and as much as he's been complaining I know he's loving it. I perfectly spiked his short locs and sprayed them with the hair paint along with hairspray to ensure they stayed in place as long as we need them to. His hand kept sliding around to my ass, to which I kept smacking away so I didn't mess his hair up. After the tenth smack he decided to just pout and let me do whatever I needed to do.

"Ok!" I said, clapping and hopping off the counter I was sitting on so that I could properly reach his head. "My work here is done."

He looked at himself in the mirror and his mouth turned down with a head nod, signaling he did in fact enjoy this more than he admitted to.

"Not bad." He said, turning his head side to side.

"Good, let's get going. I don't want to miss the petting zoo." I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him behind me.

He followed my steps down the stairs and I grabbed my necessities before we headed out the door and to his car. It was a short drive to the pumpkin patch, and before I knew it I was petting a miniature cow in complete heaven. Noah laughed as he snapped pictures of me in my own little world, perfectly content if I was to stay with that cow all night.

He decided it was a beautiful idea to go into the corn maze and leave me alone, though. I spent the better part of 10 minutes trying to find him, giggling as I yelled "DANNY!" instead of Noah just to make his little game more fun. By the time I found him, he was a pile of laughter and my teeth were chattering as it got colder with the sun going down.

Costume is real cute, but not suitable for the cold.

We got hot chocolate before making our way around the pumpkin patch to figure out what pumpkins we would carve later. Noah decided on one that's incredibly too big but insisted it was perfect, and I decided on the actual perfect size for carving. He kept wrapping his arms around me and giving me kisses to try and warm me up as my body shook against him. Anytime he hugs me, it's like a warm blanket wrapping around me that provides me with instant comfort.

We made our way back to our house and I quickly started making some coffee to warm up while Noah cleaned the pumpkins off and set up our carving area outside. We made sure to take plenty of pictures before I decided to throw on one of his hoodies and a pair of sweatpants. His hoodies always hang almost to my knees, making me look like a toddler but I will never stop stealing them.

Noah already decided on trying to carve an Attack On Titan pumpkin, which I have no clue how he plans on doing, and I was carving the cheshire cat. I sat between his legs as we carved them. I insisted that it was going to make him carving his impossible, but he proved me wrong with his slenderman arms. At some point, he gave up on his idea and just started freestyling a design. I finished mine and held it up, showing off my masterpiece but was met with silence.

I furrowed my brows and turned to look at him before I burst into laughter, instantly pulling my phone out to take a picture of him.

"What? You don't like it?" He questioned.

This man had just carved an entire open space of his pumpkin along with a hole in the bottom and had it on his head. The space framed his face so that all you could see was the center of his face, nothing else.

Laughter shook my body as I looked at him. He finally burst into his own laughter as the pumpkin slid down, effectively covering his eyes so he could no longer see. I pulled the pumpkin up on his head so I could see his eyes again, shaking my head at him.

"You're such a doof." I said through my laughter.

He grinned at me, smile sending butterflies into the pit of my stomach. "You love this doof."

I shook my head and leaned in kiss him, laughing against his lips.

"Forever and always."

[lightthewaybackhome]

Be All My Sins Remember'd

The story against the Replicators races towards its end. When you watch Stargate in chronological order, we have been fighting the Replicators for a really long time. But, the fight is almost done.

I love the team-up with both the Travelers and the Wraith. I love a common enemy uniting old enemies. I love the struggle that comes with creating a machine in human form. There are many memorable moments in this episode: the colonels, Mckay and Radek bickering, Sam standing up for McKay, and more. Sam standing up for Mckay is great because they've had so many bad interactions mostly because Rodney says things he shouldn't.

But, there are two moments that get me every time. The first is when Larrin tells her people to shoot Todd. Sheppard moves to stand in front of Todd. That's great enough, but what's even better, is how quickly Ronon shifts his position so he can back up Sheppard if he needs to. I watched this split-second scene multiple times because it's just so well done. It's so well done that you don't notice it. Ronon without a thought or a command just seamlessly moves so his field of fire doesn't include Sheppard, giveing him the room he needs to defend his people. At the same time, Sheppard doesn't react to Ronon at all. He doesn't have to. He knows Ronon has his back all the way down. The level of trust in that one shift between them is beautiful.

The other is when Sheppard learns Teyla is pregnant. It breaks my heart every time. The agony that passes quickly over his face as he realizes he's not only been putting a child in danger again and again, but Teyla's child, is so hard. I start crying almost immediately. It has been established over and over that Sheppard is good with kids. For a man like that to find out that he's put a child in danger is like a kick in the gut. Not only that, but he feels betrayed by Teyla. She didn't trust him with this vital information for over two months, meanwhile, they've gotten beat, tortured, and stunned along with who knows what else. What if something had happened to the baby?

I love the very real and raw way Sheppard responds to the incredibly difficult situation that he just got handed. It's real. He responds like a frightened and hurt person. You can see the wheels turning in his mind of all the ways Teyla's child could have been hurt in the last three months.

I love Ronon's response too. I think he probably feels a bit like Sheppard, but he also understands that Teyla is still processing the information and so he gives her space and support. He's like a big brother in every way. Ronon's response is the advantage of not being in charge. Sheppard is responsible and feels like he's been kept in the dark which means he's been making bad decisions. Ronon isn't bearing the weight of that responsibility, so he can come along side Teyla.

I love how both men responded, and that they responded differently. But oh holy cow, Sheppard's fear for Teyla and her child, for all that could have happened, is so gut-wrenching.

[bodybeyondstories]

Gifted - 5

Justin, having a hard time dealing with his changes, runs into Nikhil in the showers before encountering Sam and Darius during his shift. Things get messy (obvi)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (Previous)

Male TF // Ass Growth // Dick Growth // Growth // Size Difference // nsfw

I actually had no impetus to continue this series, then had the sudden urge to write about this awkward sad boi. I'm sure I'll figure out what happens a year from now lol.

Melons had been on Justin’s mind since the night before.

He had been up late muddling through a paper, folded uncomfortably into the too small wooden chair of his room, hunched over his laptop with a look of grim determination. He had gotten a cryptic text from his coworker asking him to cover his opening shift at Shuck’s the next morning (something about getting caught up or whatever at one of the sports bros’ houses), taking away any time that he actually had to work on this paper during reasonable hours. His brain was all but exhausted of any capacity for critical thought, let alone stringing words together into some semblance of a coherent argument. His eyes kept drifting away from his laptop screen to linger on the moonlit scene of the path leading away from the dorm, peacefully empty of activity, except, briefly, for the unmistakable figure of his crush strolling through the pools of streetlight.

Though his face was shrouded in shadow as he walked away, Justin recognized Sam immediately by the pair of cheeks ballooning from his backside and squeezed into form fitting leggings. He’d recognize that ass anywhere. No matter how comically large it had become, Sam’s signature bubble maintained the same proportions. It was obvious how these weird changes going around had impacted his crush. Only months ago, Sam’s ass had been a showstopper but well within the bounds of normalcy. At this point, it seemed nearly beyond belief. Melons, he thought, awestruck.

Justin was down bad about more than Sam’s prodigious posterior. He had developed a genuine crush. The fact that he could barely get over his own awkwardness long enough to talk to him for more than twenty seconds somehow deepened his fantasies of them ending up in some adorable rom-com scenario. His main impetus for getting out of bed in the morning were their brief instances of contact in the bathroom. Both being early risers, it would usually just be the two of them, Justin lumbering past and nervously acknowledging Sam’s cute grunt of sleepy greeting as he brushed his teeth in nothing but skimpy briefs stretched taut over his huge bubble butt, caressed by the early morning light.

Justin’s eyes lingered in the shadows of the scene outside long after Sam had passed out of view, wondering where he could be heading off to at this time of night, hoping Sam would still make it to their early morning meet cute in just a few hours.

—

His alarm brought him back to consciousness in the wee hours of the morning. Lifting his head off the desk, Justin groaned internally at the triple whammy of a paper unfinished, a bed not slept in, and an even earlier than usual start to his day. He just knew this was going to be a mess. Stumbling around in the dark, he managed to grab his toiletries and snatch his towel off the hook on the wall, reaching out through muscle memory to find the door frame with a wandering hand before he smacked his head, ducking under it and continuing on to the bathroom. A bubble of disappointment rose within him as he realized the space was empty, his crush–and that ass–nowhere to be seen.

To say the shower stall was cramped would be putting it lightly, and it had been getting worse and worse over the course of the year. He had already been tall before he had moved into Richards Hall at the last minute last fall because his so-called friends bailed and his actual housing fell through. And he had already been annoyed with being tall. But there was a big difference between a shy 6’3” beanpole who hated attention and…whatever was happening to him now. At this point, it seemed like everyone in the dorm was dealing with inexplicable growth spurts and changes, but as he felt the new sensation of his head lightly brushing the ceiling of the shower, his heart sank yet again.

Oof, I thought this was done, he thought. Or really he had just been self-delusion. He had stopped measuring  a while ago, convincing himself that a jovial “I don’t know” was a good response to the perennial questions about his height, as if being sufficiently nonchalant about the situation would let him fade into the background as nothing special. But he had also convinced himself that maybe, just maybe the changes had stopped, and if he didn’t have any updated data, then he wouldn’t have to reckon with the possibility that even the term ‘7 footer’ was no longer accurate.

But he stooped down and began maneuvering in the compact stall whose shower head struggled to reach his nipples, squatting until his tight butt threatened to part the shower curtains on the other side, just to wash the sleep out of his eyes. The changes had been slow, and he had always been adaptable, but it was becoming apparent that he was becoming too big for the normal infrastructures of life. He didn’t really know what to do about that.

And he especially didn’t know what to do about the python swinging freely between his legs, beyond setting the temperature colder and colder in a futile attempt to get it to shrink to a more manageable size. While his body took off to new heights, his dick really got the memo, stretching to inhuman proportions that looked ridiculous even on his super lanky frame. It was becoming impossible to hide in his day to day life, requiring its own creative solutions as he constantly adjusted and altered his wardrobe to keep up with his slowly stretching body. An issue exacerbated by the fact that his libido had apparently kept pace with these changes. His monster dick had become a beacon of constant sexual need, and at this point even the slightest arousal would set him on a course to either soaking his pants in precum or ripping right through the seams. He had spent many mornings already moaning into the spray of the shower as he slowly stroked the unreal length of his penis, his back and butt smushed against one wall and his foot braced against the opposite, fantasizing about Sam’s amazonian booty in just the next room as he woke himself with a powerful orgasm, painting the tiles in jizz. But this morning he was already late for work.

“What am I going to do with you?” he muttered, soaping up the semi-hard pipe that stretched down toward his knees, careful not to tip the first domino of pleasure, wondering if there was a setting even colder.

—

As he ducked out of the shower into the spacious bathroom beyond, he seemed to unfold as he allowed himself an early morning stretch, shaking the mop of loose curls on his head. He felt his dick jiggle with the movement, enjoying the feeling of its unconstricted motion between his legs as he began to towel himself dry. He swished his hips back and forth, noticing how his dick formed its own pendulous arc through the air, wondering if it could build enough momentum to leave a bruise on Sam’s cheek.

No, no, he thought, bringing himself back to reality as his penis began to lengthen with arousal and deep, urgent need. No time for that. Fantasizing about his unrequited crush could end up eating up a chunk of the morning which we did not have, and he was in no mood to try and clean a pool of spooge off the bathroom floor yet again. The sway of his hips transitioned into a subtle swish that supported his long loping gait as he turned to see a slight figure cross his path unexpectedly.

He hadn’t noticed anyone else in the bathroom. Assumed no one would be up this early. Certainly not a bleary eyed Nikhil with a neat toiletry bag tucked under his arm. Justin had been sufficiently jolted awake by the ice bath that had been spraying from his shower head, but it still took him a solid three seconds to realize that Nikhil was pointedly not staring at the pendulum cock still bobbing playfully in the space between them.

“Oh, fuck!” Sharp realization dawned on Justin’s face, and turned to a flush of frustration as he tried and failed to cover the extensive length of his dick with one, then both hands, eventually realizing that the towel draped around his shoulders could provide the coverage he needed. “Um, sorry, I just didn’t think anyone would be here this early.”

“Yeah, I was kind of banking on that,” Nikhil responded with an awkward chuckle. “Figured if I got up early enough, I wouldn’t have to deal with the usual attention.” He glanced reflexively toward his crotch and the serious bulge that still managed to fill his loose sweats, looking comical on his small frame. “Less chance of being seen.”

They shared a brief moment of mutual understanding, as if brought together in the liminal space of a pre-dawn communal bathroom by their nonsensically gargantuan members.

“Totally,” Justin offered, attempting to build on this budding connection. “I heard about your, uh…I mean not that I heard about it like people are talking about it, at least I don’t talk about other people’s…situations–I mean I’ve noticed your predicament, not that I’m trying to or anything, it’s not my business, also not like it’s a predicament, but like I mean mine’s a predicament, it’s really becoming an issue, honestly, and I don’t know maybe you’ve had similar experiences or whatever, I mean at least you fit in the…shower…”

At this point, Justin’s cheeks were in full blush of embarrassment and exasperation, his mane a halo of gloom as he loomed high over Nikhil, hair still dripping onto his narrow shoulders.

“I just…” one last try.

“It’s good to know someone dealing with similar issues,” Nikhil said with a practiced smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Speaking of, your towel looks a little, um, short?” 

Justin glanced down to discover, to his chagrin, that his towel was no longer long enough to cover the tip of his flaccid cock. Meaning no matter how much he tried to deny or downplay, his mysterious growth was sure to prove otherwise. “...Dammit. I should go get dressed. It can be kind of an–”

“Ordeal. I know.” Nikhil’s irises caught the light for a split second as his eyes rolled toward the ceiling and back, his face a tight acknowledgement of their shared predicament. “Actually,” his eyes lit up, “Just got a pair of briefs off this website that are supposed to have extra support and specialize in unique…pouches. If you want the link or whatever.”

“Uh…yeah, let me know how they fit.”

“Will do,” agreed Nikhil with a sharp nod.

—

Ordeal was accurate, but bumbling around into his work uniform was an ordeal he was used to. His long dick maneuvered just so into his boxer briefs and positioned parallel to his waist–any normal pouch was useless at this point–then a layer of compression shorts for extra control, followed by his khakis, then a few minutes of repositioning his cock and experimenting with the folds of his pants until he fooled himself that the ridiculous bulge spooling out toward his hip could be passed off as a trick of the light (it couldn’t). The fact that his pants didn’t reach his ankles and his mustard yellow employee polo was giving sneak peeks at the light fur of his lower abs were issues to be dealt with at some point in the future.

He reached some semblance of rolling peace as he biked across town to the grocery store, his self-consciousness ebbed by work of navigating city streets, and anxiety dissipated by the mix of physical exertion and chill morning air. He enjoyed the quiet early morning as he locked his bike and strode with long, loping gait to open the store. It was just him, soon interrupted by a single customer who had been waiting impatiently to inform him that the store’s official opening time was three minutes ago, unfazed by the literal giant that came to greet her.

It was shaping up to be a perfectly uneventful shift, just as he’d suspected and hoped when agreeing to cover it. He stocked shelves, did inventory, dealt with the slow drip of customers passing in and out. There were no crises on the horizon, no stressors on this sleepy morning. Except, of course, for the unrelenting weight of pent up sexual frustration and the burgeoning heat of his manhood. He regretted not taking the time this morning for his usual wake up jackoff session–and bonus shower date–and was bitterly annoyed at his lack of coworkers, whose presence would allow him to take fifteen minutes to unload the pressure constantly building in his groin. His dick, dutifully tucked away under multiple layers of restrictive clothing, was slowly becoming the center of the known universe, the locus of attention by way of Justin’s desperate focus on not focusing. The slow burn of sexual pressure was grinding his teeth and laboring his breathing, but it was just barely manageable. That is until Sam walked in.

 He was cute as ever, and that ass looked somehow bigger in the soft morning light, compared to the mix of shadow and streetlight that Sam had passed under late last night. He was probably the best and worst person to roll into the grocery store during Justin’s slowly worsening crisis. A familiar, friendly face, yet also a yearning crush, an undeniable reminder of the yawning gulf of need emanating from Justin’s crotch. His already fraying emotional fabric was twisted even further as Justin, ever observant wallflower, connected a few more dots: Sam was wearing the exact same outfit from last night, though somewhat disheveled. And he was not alone.

Justin was distantly aware that Darius lived in the house that Sam frequented, but didn’t know they were cool with each other. At least not early morning food run cool with each other. Or light touches along the small of his back cool with each other. Or playful squeeze into a prodigious ass cheek cool with each other. Justin, frozen in place with a mostly empty crate of ramen as Sam and Darius grabbed a cart and began to mosey down the next aisle over, was distraught.

He had no idea they were an item. Not that he thought his fantasy of being in Darius’s place on his own cute errand dates with Sam would be anything more than wishful thinking. Justin was all angles, skinny, overstretched, and awkward, with ridiculous proportions. And Darius was, well, Darius. The corded musculature of his arms and shoulders seemed to take up the entire aisle, threatening to burst out of his clothes with even the most casual movements. He exuded confidence and an easy, deep beauty that seemed to draw Sam into his deep, brown eyes. And of course when it came to Sam’s assets, Darius was thinking along very similar lines.

“Hmm, what’s the point of comparison with this ass these days?” Darius asked, his hand resting casually on Sam’s butt. “Volleyballs? Basketballs?”

Sam gave a laugh that read more like a swoon, resting his head briefly–to Justin’s dismay–on Darius’s shoulder. “At this point, watermelons might be closer.”

“Watermelons?” Justin–in his horny stupidity–cut in. Stupid, stupid, stupid, why would you say that?

He had forgotten that being able to physically see over the shelves into the adjacent aisle was not a normal thing that normal humans could do, and as Sam and Darius turned in unison to gaze up at him stocking ramen in the next aisle, it dimly occurred to him that they had no idea he was present for this conversation. A mistake he made pretty regularly even before these changes. I need to get out of here.

“They’re still in the back,” he said. “Just came in!” 

“Justin?” asked Sam. “I didn’t know you were working today.”

Butterflies. He knows my regular schedule? Justin practically swooned. But he had to flee. “Let me run and grab one for you,” said Justin. “Be right back!”

And hustled off back to storage.

He was really struggling to hold it together as he paced around the back room, having already forgotten what he even came there for. In his fugue of horny panic, it took a second to register that the short rumble in his pocket wasn’t his supervolcano dick preparing to erupt, but a series of notifications on his phone. Vibration was the last thing he needed anywhere near his tightly packed crotch, but his heart leapt into his throat as he saw that they were from Nikhil. 

[Hey, those briefs I mentioned got in early.]

Oh no.

[Not as comfortable as I had hoped, but the fit is pretty decent.]

Oh no.

[At least for now, right? 🙃]

Oh no.

[Also, they sent a couple extras, let me know if you want to try a pair. We’re probably around the same size.]

The chain of text on Justin’s phone screen jumped up to make space for a gray rectangle with a thin line slowly drawing itself into a circle. He stood frozen in anxious terror as he waited for his sluggish phone to download the image that he desperately hoped wasn’t the exact one he was currently forming in his head.

Nikhil was standing in his room in front of a full length mirror, phone in one hand, held just to the side of his abdomen, head cocked slightly to the side, his face an image of intentional focus. His rich brown skin looked lovely in the morning light, which came in from the side at an angle just right for showing off the lean musculature of his swimmer’s build. His whole body seemed to be shaped for practiced, graceful movement, made of deliberate lines that all drew the eye to the colossal package hanging between his thighs. 

It looked more like a jock than a pair of briefs, a framework of elegant, reinforced elastic support structures designed to hold a pouch that many would assume was some sort of manufacturer error or gag gift. He was titillated by the idea that they weren’t a joke item and that there was some small customer base out there that was as unreasonably and mysteriously hung as them. But on Nikhil they fit just right, though somewhat straining to hold his massive member in place. Justin realized that as frustrated as he was with his unreal height, at least it allowed his dick to look relatively proportional. Nikhil on the other hand struck a comical figure, his short stature looking weighed down by the pipe that extended from his groin, his overworked lower abdominal muscles brought into sharp relief.

This was an innocuous, professional message. Knowing Nikhil, he had no idea he’d just sent a brain melting thirst trap. No idea what he had just done to any hopes of Justin’s pants surviving this shift. His dick lurched against its confinement, as if to issue a challenge.

“Don’t you start!” he practically yelled at the bulge running from his crotch along his hip. “Please, not now.” His dick twitched in protest, warmth building in his crotch that hinted at a threshold to which he was dangerously close. He paced around the storage area, trying to distract himself with the visual messiness of things that needed organizing, moving, and inventorying, until his eyes landed on a small crate of green and white ovoid shapes.

The melon! I forgot about the melon, he groaned internally, unaware that Sam and Darius weren’t exactly waiting on him to return with the fruit. He took his time perusing the top layer for the choicest options, giving each one a hearty slap to test for ripeness–until they reminded him too much of the melons he’d prefer to be handling, which were moseying around the store.

He snatched one up and power walked back out to the floor, watermelon held proudly in front of him, cradled by his large hands. He stopped in his tracks at the end of an aisle, trying to make sense of the scene before him. Sam was bent over at the waist, breathing heavy and held up by Darius’s strong arms. His hips were hinged backward, pointing his ass in Justin’s direction, who couldn’t shake the impression that it was…growing. He had certainly noticed it getting bigger and rounder over the past several months, but it looked like it was inflating with muscle and a healthy layer of padding in real time, ballooning against the fabric of his leggings, which were riding up his calves. As Sam’s breathing calmed and he stood up straight, he matched Darius in height, his amazonian legs and colossal booty looking wildly disproportionate compared to his unchanged arms and torso.

“I…found the watermelon,” Justin uttered, drawing the attention of the only two patrons in the store. His hands were glued to the fruit in front of him, eyes locked on to Sam’s unreal bubble butt, which seemed to flex with a last gasp of growth. “Oh, um, wow.” He was frozen in place, a jolt of panic shot through him as his cock twitched insistently in his pants. He had already lost the battle against his own libido, it was just a matter of realizing that.

“Wow is right,” said Sam, gazing at the bulge that threatened to tear Justin’s khakis to tatters unless they addressed this urgent business immediately.

As if on cue, a light ripping sound filled the space between them, followed by Justin’s small, anxious moan. “Sorry,” he said, still holding on to the melon for dear life, but taking his eyes off Sam’s rump just long enough to cast a worried glance at his prodigious bulge. “This thing’s been out of control and it’s just…kind of hard to ignore for too long.”

“Then let’s give it some attention,” Darius cut in.

—

Justin was able to rub his last two brain cells together just long enough to lock the door and put up an away sign. The store’s steady customer base of no one would have to deal for 30 minutes. As he led Sam and Darius to the back–for some reason still holding the watermelon in the crook of his elbow–he was in mild disbelief that this was even happening. A more plausible explanation would be that the hurricane force of sexual need emanating from his monster cock had simply short circuited his brain and he was having a vivid hallucination while laying on the floor, surrounded by packs of ramen. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

The camera in the storage area still worked–though no one ever checked it–but the one in the break room did not. Dutifully, Justin power walked down the back hallway to the modest room of vending machines, microwave, table, chairs, old couch, and small window, the others struggling to keep up with long, purposeful strides. Sam still seemed to still be getting his balance, as his center of gravity was now noticeably higher and heavier than it had been just a few minutes ago. Darius kept a watchful hand on his lower back. 

They fell to the couch in a blur of lips on lips, shirts being thrown unceremoniously on the floor, fingers intertwining and disengaging as the three urgently explored each others’ bodies to remove layers of pesky clothing as quickly as possible. Darius was smitten by the embarrassed smile on Sam’s face as he tried and failed to get his leggings and underwear over his ass. He leaned over and worked the fabric with the corded muscle of his arms, peeling it down slowly and deliberately, resisting the urge to simply rip it off of his body in one quick motion. 

Justin was beside himself with anticipation, surprised he hadn’t flooded his khakis with jizz at the sight of Sam’s monster butt cheeks, though he had already pumped out an ungodly amount of precum, with more oozing on the way. “Fuck,” he uttered, as the light dusting of hair across the round expanse of Sam’s posterior was revealed, Darius leaning in to bury his face between those gravity-defying globes. It looked even bigger unclothed. Justin was still firmly in disbelief that these two extremely hot people were about to have a threesome with him, let alone at his place of work, let alone one of them being his fantastical crush with a fantastical bubble butt. It took him a second to pick up on the fact that both of them were staring hungrily at the bulge threatening to ruin his pants.

Right, he thought, with a twinge of nervousness. Just confident enough that Sam and Darius wouldn’t run in terror, he steeled himself and with a resigned sigh, pushed his pants, compression shorts, and underwear off of his bony hips, revealing inch after inch after inch of his python until his cock head bobbed off the end of the couch, drooling precum onto the floor. He was filled with relief at finally being freed from his confines, his head lolling back in pleasure as one, then two, then three hands–his own or others’, he couldn't tell–began to slowly work the length of his prodigious dick. 

The train had left the station, so to speak. He’d been yearning and itching for this for far too long. He felt a now-familiar lightheadedness as his body coordinated around bringing  his penis to full erection, his breathing falling into a deep, almost meditative state, muscles working and contracting as the pressure continued to build. He moaned in pleasure as Darius’s lips parted over his dick and Sam’s nuzzled his neck, sending static down his spine.

“You want to fuck me?” Sam asked with a hunger mixed with uncharacteristic shyness, his hands running along the curves of Justin’s clavicle.

“Are…are you sure?” asked Justin, almost as a warning. He hadn’t been intimate with anyone since he was half this size, and was visibly worried about the destruction his ungodly dick might cause.

“Oh, you’re good. I got loosened up earlier.”

A moment of terror as Justin tried to mentally process whatever behemoth had made Sam confident enough to take his own. He nodded in trepidation, and the other two switched places, Darius straddling Justin’s chest and giving him a taste of his own salty precum as they indulgently made out, while Sam positioned himself over Justin’s head and began to lower onto his dick. 

He began to work himself up and down with unbearable slowness, easing farther and farther with each of Justin’s strokes. Once they got a rhythm going, Justin felt practically sucked in by Sam’s hole, giving up on any sort of explanation in the realm of human possibility as he bottomed out. He slapped his huge hands against the melons of Sam’s ass, wishing he could see them jiggling as uncontrollably as they felt, groaning into Darius’s mouth as Sam picked up speed. He was beside himself, eyes rolling back as he ascended into some other plane of existence, some boundless torrent of orgasmic possibility. He came like a firehose, hands sinking into Sam’s fat cheeks as he gushed into him for what felt like an eternity, Sam beginning to spray himself with spunk simultaneously.

They fell into a pile on the couch, Justin sandwiched between the other two, wrapped in Darius’s long arms as he caressed Sam’s butt. Eventually he got around to pulling himself out of Sam’s hole, feeling an odd but pleasant tingling along his dick as it came out with a pop. He carefully extricated himself from their warm hands and soft kisses, getting up to gather some cleaning supplies. The tingling faded into a residual sensation, the pull on his groin slightly heavier than he expected as he moved around the room, but he thought nothing of it.

Justin squatted down to kiss Sam and Darius in turn, twitching in slight discomfort as his dick touched the cold tile floor. They were pretzeled together with seemingly no intention of breaking contact for the foreseeable future.

“We should do this again, sometime,” said Sam. “Maybe somewhere more comfortable,” with a wink.

“Really?” asked Justin, incredulous.

“Yeah, dude,” said Darius. “Maybe even a date or something. Imagine!” he chuckled.

How is this really happening? Justin thought, still lost in post-coital bliss yet aware that the store was currently unstaffed. “I should, um, get back to it I guess,” as he slid his underwear on and began the struggle to get his dick to cooperate, the tingling feeling remaining as he jiggling and maneuvered it back along his waist, growing stronger as he trapped everything under his compression shorts. His dick still felt warm as he pulled his khakis up. Really warm. “Y’all don’t have to rush, my shift runs for another couple hours, you can–”

Just was interrupted by a sharp contraction of his groin muscles, leaning over slightly as a hand shot to his belly. The tingling along his dick intensified, along with heat radiating from his crotch.

“You okay?” Darius asked with obvious worry. “Lightheaded? Need to sit down for a second?”

“No, no, I’m good,” said Justin, belied by shortness of breath and the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His attempt to play it cool was cut short by a grimace of discomfort as he was doubled over by an even stronger contraction, his dick a furnace of static, sliding along his hip on an urgent return to erection, but in a way that felt…different. He caught his breath for a second and exchanged glances with Sam, who reached out to steady him, wearing a look of familiarity.

“I just, just need to…” His dick was pulsing with his heartbeat, heatedly struggling against the confines of too tight fabric. As his breathing became labored, he fumbled with his belt, trying to move fast but not fast enough. Sam and Darius were transfixed as the massive bulge straining Justin’s seams visibly surged past its previous ungodly length just a few minutes ago and ripped through the thin fabric of his pocket, angry cockhead jutting several inches out from his hip and drooling precum into the open air.

I should text Nikhil.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Many Roads Diverge in the Woods

A JSE Interactive Fanfic

Part One

Welcome, everyone, to the special Halloween event: a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-style fanfiction! I'm super excited to get this started, and very curious about what the collective of Tumblr will decide to do. The five septics head out to a cabin in the woods for a fun vacation. Little do they know that everything is not as they seem in this place...

A reminder, the poll at the bottom to decide what happens next will only be open for one day, expiring on October 2 at 12:00pm PST. The next part will be up on October 4th at the same time.

Now, let's get started! :)c

<><><><><><><><><><><>

The others were complaining about it being a long drive, but Chase didn’t mind. It was mostly boring. The scenery outside was just empty fields for the longest time, until they finally got to the forested area that Jack had told them about. From there, the road lost its paving, becoming gravel and then the dirt it is now. The trees grow closer together, though never close enough to block out the sun completely.

“It’s really pretty,” Jackie comments, peering out the passenger side window at the passing trees. “Usually autumn leaves are kinda underwhelming, but this is really nice. Looks like a painting.” Indeed, the vivid, fiery color of the fall leaves are striking.

Marvin leans forward into the spot between the front two seats. “Chase, are we there yet?”

“You sound like Sam,” Chase mutters.

Schneep laughs. “He is calling you a child.”

“I got the implications, thanks.” Marvin rolls his eyes. “But seriously. Are we there yet?”

“Do you see a cabin?” Chase takes a hand off the wheel to gesture at the forest around them. “We have to be close, though. There wasn’t anywhere to turn. Was there?”

“Not that I saw,” Schneep says. “Marvin? Jamie?”

“Nah,” Marvin mutters. Beside him, JJ shakes his head.

“Oh! I think it’s clearing up!” Jackie leans forward. “There miiiight be something there.” He points out the windshield.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s it.” Chase puts his foot down on the gas, speeding up a little bit.

The trees part again, revealing a small clearing in the middle of the forest. In the center of this clearing is a house made of red-orange wood, with a green-tiled roof and wide windows. “Whoa.” Marvin raises an eyebrow. “When Jack said it was a log cabin, I was picturing something more... quaint.”

“Well it had to be big enough for all of us,” Chase says. The dirt road curls around the cabin, ending in a space barely big enough for two cars to fit. He pulls the car around and parks in that space. “Shame Jack couldn’t come, too.”

“Yeah, I feel kind of bad about it,” Jackie agrees. “Like we’re taking advantage of him.”

JJ clears his throat. Everyone turns to look at him as he raises his hands and begins signing words. You know Jack would feel even worse if we canceled. He was very insistent that we go.

“Yeah.” Chase sighs. “Still. Sucks that this, of all times, was the time he got sick. I hope he’s feeling better by Halloween. I don’t want him to miss JJ’s birthday, too.”

JJ smiles. I’m sure it will be fine. Now, shall we head out? 

“Sure.” Chase turns the car off, putting the keys in his pocket. “Everyone get your own bags from the trunk, we’re not making Jackie carry everything like at the beach.”

The group had talked about taking a vacation out of the city for a while now. It was only a couple weeks ago that Jack remembered his family had a cabin in the Scanrúil Forest, and suggested that they all go out and spend a few nights there. Everyone had jumped at the chance. It took them a while to arrange everything (Schneep had a hard time finding people to cover his shifts at the hospital, and Chase couldn’t have the trip take place on a weekend because that was when he had custody of his daughter) and by the time it finally came for them to go out there, Jack had fallen ill. Still, he insisted the others go without him. “I’ve been there a million times, anyway,” he said. So they headed out without him.

Jackie peers out at the trees surrounding him. “It’s a bit spooky, isn’t it?” he comments. “I guess it’s fit for the time of year. Hey Marvin. Is this the kind of place you’d want to live?”

Marvin pauses halfway through pulling his suitcase from the trunk. “Is that some sort of jab?”

“Well, you’re supposed to ‘commune with nature’ right?” Jackie says. “For your witch stuff.”

“I mean, I guess, but I don’t like the way you say that.”

“We all respect people’s beliefs in this group,” Schneep says. “Even if they are strange.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Marvin shakeshis head. Then he chuckles. “That’s a bit weird coming from the guy who asked Chase if I was his ‘occult friend’ the first time we met.”

Schneep goes red. “Well I-I did not fully understand at the time!”

You do dress a bit occult, Marvin, JJ adds, gesturing vaguely at Marvin’s mostly-black outfit.

“Being a witch and liking gothic fashion are a complete coincidence in my case. Most witches I know actually dress like you.” He gestures back at JJ.

“Speaking of which, JJ, are all the clothes you brought like that?” Chase asks. “I mean, they’re nice, but what if you want to go on a hike or something?”

JJ adjusts his sleeve cuffs and vest. I enjoy looking like this.

“The day JJ wears anything but formal wear is the day hell freezes over,” Jackie adds. “Now can we all just head inside? It’s kinda chilly out here.” He shivers. “And I’m the one who brought a hoodie.”

They all walk up to the cabin’s front entrance. Schneep pulls out the keys Jack had given them—everyone had deemed him least likely to lose them—and unlocks the door, letting them all in.

The interior of the cabin is somewhat rustic in design, but doesn’t lack modern conveniences. The front door opens up immediately into a wide living room, where the main feature is the circular coffee table that looks like a cross section of a tree. Oh yes, and the flat screen TV mounted on the wall. “Whoa!” Chase walks over, examining it and the nearby shelves. “Jack didn’t mention that he has a fucking PS5 here!”

“Wait, really?!” Jackie also hurries over. “No way! And an Xbox, what the shit?!”

JJ rolls his eyes. He walks straight past the living area and towards the staircase in the back of the room, putting down his suitcase to sign, Are the bedrooms upstairs?

“Yes, that is what Jack said,” Schneep confirms. “There are only four, so two of us will have to double up. There is also a second bathroom up there.” He looks around. “The kitchen and dining room are through those arches to the left, and those doors on the right are, I think, another bathroom and perhaps a closet. Oh, no, wait, this is the closet.” He opens a door right by the front entrance. “What is that second door over there, then?”

“That probably goes to the basement,” Marvin says. He walks over to the doors and tries opening them. One swings easily, revealing a bathroom beyond, but the other is locked. “Oh. Welp. Guess we’ll never know.”

“That is fine, we probably will not need to go down there. Jack said it is storage, laundry, and where the power box is.”

“Oh! Is the power on, actually?” Jackie asks. He picks up the TV remote from the table and uses it to turn on the TV. “Great. Now the question is, do we have wifi?”

Chase takes out his phone. “Yeah. And three bars, that’s really good for being out in the middle of a forest.”

You all need to think about things if you’re surrounded by a beautiful autumn forest and you’re still concerned with the internet, JJ says.

“Hey, we didn’t all grow up in an anti-tech family,” Chase says defensively. “We’re not used to this.”

JJ laughs silently. That is true. Well, let’s put our stuff away, then we can figure out what to do for our first day.

It only takes a few minutes for them all to get settled. JJ and Schneep end up sharing the largest bedroom, with Chase, Marvin, and Jackie all getting their own. Chase is pretty sure he got the best room, if not the biggest. The window looked out the front of the house, giving him a great view of the forest, and the bed was softer than the one he has at home. It’s also the one closest to the upstairs bathroom, so he would get first claim whenever he needed to.

Come to think of it, the bathroom has a pretty nice bath and shower. He hadn’t cleaned up in a while, since his water at his apartment had been out for a couple days. Hopefully it will be fixed by the time the trip was over, but in the meantime, maybe he should take a shower.

“Hey!” Jackie stops in the open doorway of Chase’s room. “Are you ready? Cause I was thinking about setting up that PS5 and trying it out.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m all put away and stuff,” Chase says. “That does sound fun.”

“Yeah, of course it does!” Jackie says excitedly. “I haven’t even seen one of those yet!”

“Am I hearing this right?” Schneep walks down the hallway and stops next to Jackie. “You want to mess around with video games? You can do that at home.”

“Not on this console!” Jackie protests.

“Okay, okay, if you are so excited, that is good,” Schneep relents. “But it is getting close to dinner time. Before we do anything, we should check out the kitchen. I think Jack mentioned stocking the cabin with groceries, but we should be sure.”

“Oh shit, yeah, we need to eat,” Chase agrees.

“Exactly!” Schneep nods. “That is sort of important, yes? If we have food, we should start cooking. If we do not, we need to drive all the way back into town to pick things up!”

Chase hesitates. There’s a clock hanging on the wall in the bedroom. The time is around 5 o’clock. It’s a ninety-minute drive back to town; if they don’t have groceries, they won’t be able to eat until 8 o’clock at least. “Yeah...”

“Jack said there’s food, I’m trusting him on that,” Jackie says. “And I’m not that great a cook anyway. I’ll just get the console set up. What about you, Chase?”

“Uh...” Chase thinks over his options. He can take a shower, like he was considering earlier. Or he could join Jackie in some gaming. Or he could check out the kitchen, getting food if they need to and cooking dinner if they already have stuff. Hmm... 

[spnmusicalbang]

SPN Musical Theater Bang Masterlist

As the curtain falls on this year's Musical Theater Bang, let's have one more ovation for the amazing writers and artists who contributed! You can revisit their original cast recordings below.

Truth, Beauty, Free Will, Love by @Tossukka with art by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes Summary: Dean is a courtesan and the star of a nightclub longing for a normal life and a chance to find his brother again. Castiel is an angel living in the shadow of his siblings, wanting a chance to make his own choices for once. One night their paths cross. This story is about truth, beauty, freedom but above all things, this story is about love.

Phantom of Midsommer's Nightmare by @Kyra_Kiara_Elizabeth_Mai with art by @zybynarx Summary: During some downtime at the bunker: Cas is worried about Dean it has only been a few months since Dean was cured, the mark is draining him everyone can see it, and desperation leads him to a long shot. Sam is using this time for research, his own personal interest. Until Donna calls him with a conundrum. Dean is trying to lay low, relax, and not let everyones worry get to him.

Sugar, Butter, Flour by @raimykeller with art by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes Summary: Dean works in a diner in a small North Carolina town and is a genius at creating unique pie recipes. Without any family of his own, he has carved a space for himself in a little group of loving misfits who work with him at the diner. When fellow waitress – and Dean’s best friend – Kelly finds out she is pregnant by her deadbeat husband, and their diner loses one of their line cooks, Dean’s quiet, but boring life is changed instantly. Join Dean as he falls in love, protects his found family, and bakes a lot of pie.

As One In Love of Chess by @Raven_Fuchs with art by @lotrspnfangirl Summary: Drama student Dean Winchester has a lot riding on the university’s annual big musical. Not only is his graduate thesis tied up in the production but if he’s cast as one of the leads it will be his graduate showcase as well. The choice to produce selections from the musical “Chess” means that there really are only two male lead roles up for grabs. He never could have imagined how his life could change when he meets a blue-eyed music grad student. While the characters on stage are unlucky in love, can the actors avoid a similar fate?

Oh He's a Curious Cat by @preetkiran1016 with art by @hexentaenzerin Summary: It’s Dean’s last year at Juilliard’s school for the performing arts. He’s almost done, ready to jump into the acting world- when Professor Balthazar takes a year sabbatical. Castiel Novak filling in as his substitute makes surviving the year a hell of a lot more difficult, Dean’ll tell you that much. Between learning to dance in a lycra cat suit, dealing with his friends and their constant teasing, and Novak staring daggers at him every second- Dean’s not sure he’ll make it.

Three Little Pigs by @hectatess with art by @lotrspnfangirl Summary: What happens when the fairytale ends? When the curtains are closed, what becomes of the characters? Well, those that survive lead their lives. And sometimes those lives collide again. Like with one little pig and a big, well, only slightly larger than average, but still bad wolf. And their offspring…

Oh, Lover (I'll Cover You) by @lotrspnfangirl with art by @deancodedcastielenby Summary: Nearing Christmas, when the city was frozen, a group of friends found the warmth they were missing. 

My Unfortunate Protuberance by @whaddyameanno with art by @aleriya-darling Summary: Dean and Cas have been in a long-distance relationship for two years, and Cas always goes to Dean’s opening nights, knowing just how important it is to his boyfriend. When plans fall through and he isn’t able to go anymore, Dean gets upset. Will this spell the end of their relationship? Or will Cas find a way to make it to the show and make it up to Dean?

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Free to Be You and Me

Welcome to “Bert is to Ernie as Dean is to…: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e3: Free to Be You and Me

Sam and Dean have gone their separate ways for now, and this episode splits time between the two as they each have their own adventures. Sammy is incognito and working as a bartender, doing his best to stave off the annoying advances of a coworker, who eventually finds out that people who try to get close to him get held at knifepoint by hurt-butt hunters mad at Sam for starting the apocalypse then quitting the biz (or worse - EXPELLED). Meanwhile Dean and Cas go looking for Raphael to pump him for info on where God ran off to, the whole time giving each other Looks and throwing all sorts of poorly-disguised gay references at each other. Just make out, already, yeesh. Turns out Raphael is 100% that d-bag and God’s nowhere to be found. Dean and Cas then have a heart-to-heart in Baby, during which Dean claims he’s happier without Sam around. Cas smells manure. More tortured loving glances. THEN, cut to Sammy dreaming about Jess, who turns out to be Lucifer trying to gaslight his best vessel. Lots of fraught going on here, folks.

Mace:

Oh Sammy, quit sulking about that tart

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

I have jealousy issues

oh LOOKIT HIM

Lor:

well I mean you ARE way better than Jess

RIGHT?

Mace:

I appreciate the support

Lor:

shuttup not!Jess

Mace:

YES

SHUT. IT.

AND QUIT CALLING HIM BABY

IT’S DUMB

oh Sammy.

pets him

Lor:

seriously, Jess. Baby is the car. WATCH THE SHOW

Mace:

oof hot and naked and crying I CANNOT

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

lol

oh I forgot this song is in the show. Jensen sings this a lot at cons

Mace:

interesting

this montage is so good

Lor:

omg lemons versus vamp blood

Mace:

and so is that shirt on Sam

Lor:

YES

YES

aw Dean taking care of his things

Mace:

HAHAHA boundaries Cas

Lor:

"Don't do that!" LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

“hello Dean”

“my apologies"

Lor:

"personal space" oh hush, you know you like him in your personal space

Mace:

RIGHT?!

Lor:

"can I have my damn necklace back, please"

Mace:

oh lookit him getting right back in that personal space

Lor:

TMN angel haaaaahahahaha

Mace:

AND THE LOOKS THEY’RE GIVING EACH OTHER

Lor:

YAS

Mace:

come on, people, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS

Lor:

HE JUST COMPARED THEM TO THELMA AND LOUISE YOU'D HAVE TO BE BLIND

Mace:

they are both so pretty

RIGHT??!

Lor:

Right? and they look so good together

Mace:

and Dean keeps licking his lips

THEY DO

Lor:

WHAT WAS THE LOOK DEAN JUST GAVE HIM OMG

Mace:

“I DIDN’T POOP FOR A WEEK”

Lor:

lololololol

Mace:

Dean just wants roadtrip time with Cas

Lor:

YES

Mace:

stop flirting with my stringbean, bitch

Lor:

RIGHT? even if you do have a cute smile

yes, barman grandpa, it does seem like the end of the world

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

HE'S FIXING HIS TIE LIKE HE'S HIS WIFE

Mace:

YESYESYESYES

Lor:

"that's how you become president" lololol ow

Mace:

YES

THE BADGE MEME

Lor:

omg fixing the ID

YAAAAAS

Mace:

I LOVE YOU CAS YOU BUT WALNUT

Lor:

YES

Mace:

*big (But I’m okay letting but(t) stand)

Lor:

LOLOL

"pump and go" do they do this shit on purpose? they must

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

the DEMONS…DEMONS…DEMONS OMG

Lor:

"we all have our demons" lololol Dean

no, Kolchak

Mace:

“thank you” and the look

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

YES

Mace:

“jumps my bones” COME ON

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

omg Bobby’s snark

Lor:

I LOVE WHEN BOBBY DADS THEM

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"arid" I LOVE HIM

Mace:

YES

he brought Dean…oil…special oil...

omg Dean is using the last night on earth line HOW IS THIS NOT ON PURPOSE

Lor:

he is this close to giving him the "last night on earth" line

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BERT AND ERNIE ARE GAY

Mace:

oh he’s had occasion, but he’s been waiting for Dean

Lor:

YAAAAAAS

Mace:

I MEAN COME THE FUCK ON

Lor:

HOW is that RELEVANT, DEAN? UNLESS

Mace:

RIGHT?!

Lor:

What the HELL would be wrong with "Keith Samuel"?

Mace:

right?

bitch, butt OUT

Lor:

i mean I wouldn't PICK it, but it's not BAD?

Mace:

agreed, esp with the package it’s labeling

Lor:

God that SHIRT

YES

Mace:

YES

READ THE ROOM, HAG

NO MEANS NO, BITCH

Lor:

RIGHT?

look, Dean, when you told him he wasn't gonna die a virgin, he was hoping for someone else

Mace:

RIGHT?!

he’s all mussed I CANNOT

Lor:

"this whole industry runs on absent fathers" you would know, Dean

RIGHT?

Mace:

RIGHT?!?@?@?!?!?!

“years…” oh honey

Lor:

oooof

you DO mean to pry stop it

Mace:

all you’ve been doing is prying you stupid horse

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

LOL

nnnnnngggggg his deep ass voice speaking whatever that is. Enochian I guess?

Mace:

part fake Latin part nonsense

but yeah the voice is quality

Lor:

I have an advantage here in that none of it meant anything to me

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

"I thought you were supposed to be impressive" DEAN

"by the way, hi, I'm Dean" OMG

Mace:

NICE

DED

Lor:

all casual taking a beer and then turning around and GLUGGING it because he's actually terrified

Mace:

YES

Lor:

THEY HAD A PLAN I LOVE THEM

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"don't look at me, it was his idea" and then the look to Cas like "sorry, hon"

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

look, dude, demons ain't new

Mace:

it’s not his fault you’re incompetent at your job, idiot

HAHAHA

Lor:

lol

RIGHT?

Mace:

Meh, knife her, we don’t care

Lor:

okay, she's a pain, but hunters taking civilians hostage at knifepoint? come on, dillweeds

HA!

Mace:

Yeah

Lor:

look Raphael, if you think the 20th century was worse than all the rest of history, you have not been paying attention

Mace:

Daddy ran away- so angels are all prostitutes?

Lor:

"he didn't happen to work at the post office did he?”

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOLOL

LORD he looks good

Mace:

YES HE DOES

Lor:

omg lookit Cas and Dean all rain spattered

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"but today you're my little bitch" DED

"what he said" HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

WHAT HE SAID AHAHAHAHA

Lor:

mmmmmrrrg little peek at his back

Mace:

YES

but wtf is wrong with these a-holes?

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

why can’t everybody just leave my Sam alone?!

Lor:

seriously

he does look kinda hot with blood all over his face though

Mace:

he really does

and all pissed

Lor:

YES

Mace:

oh so EVERYONE is a prostitute in this episode, then

Lor:

"who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas. what do YOU believe?"

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

YES

Lor:

oh Dean

Mace:

knocks him upside

Lor:

"and you're not that much fun"

you're not ALONE you DOPE you're with Cas

Mace:

right?

Lor:

oh ope. careful what you wish for, Chucklehead

Mace:

HA

Lor:

SAM WINCHESTER YOU ARE NOT THIS DUMB

Mace:

right?!

oh hey, Luci

oh god that tatt peeking out of his shirt

Lor:

RIGHT?

I LOVE THIS WHOLE STUPID SET UP SO MUCH

Mace:

YES

Lor:

they are PLAYING this as homoerotic and it still doesn't hold a candle to Cas and Dean just, like, standing next to each other

Mace:

NOPE

ooof. shit’s gettin’ real.

Lor:

YAAAAAS

[sergeantsporks]

Maybe for the sake of everyone in the Gilded house including himself, Phoenix needs to live elsewhere after all is said and done. Like you said, his curse is forever, and unless something changes, it just feels like the current living situation is not good for anyone, especially if it's permanent

Lemme get this straight. Your solution is for Phoenix to exile himself from everyone he knows and loves (sans Darius), therefore isolating himself from his support system (Caleb and Jason, and, to a lesser extent, Cherry, Sam, and Evelyn), because of a condition that he cannot help. As well as depriving Ghost of their Nee-Nee, who they are INCREDIBLY attached to. Yeah. Something IS going to change, but it's not going to be Phoenix's living situation. There's going to be compromise. Phoenix is going to find a system of management and take precautions, and the other grims are going to learn to live with the curse being there.

Aside from a couple of minor stings/burns that came from people directly touching it (something everyone now knows not to do), and maybe some bruises on Ash from Phoenix saving their life (and any method of saving them from that fall would have left bruises), the curse has not hurt anyone in the family. Phoenix is the one taking the most damage from it (stressed joints and bones, loss of energy, it literally eating him alive when it gets testy). Even in situations where the curse COULD have easily hurt someone innocent (like when Phoenix fought the scouts, or when Novus' contraption went haywire), it didn't. And, of course, Phoenix ended up using it to save Caleb and Ash. There is, technically speaking, no precedent of Phoenix's curse being particularly dangerous to anyone in the house. The curse is most harmful to Phoenix himself. So like Ash said, it wouldn't be fair to kick Phoenix out over a perceived danger where there likely is none.

That being said: obviously, the grims have had negative experiences with the curse when someone else had it. It's left them with lasting trauma. To say "just deal, your fears are invalid" is unduly cruel. While there TECHNICALLY and LOGICALLY is nothing to fear, we all know that fear and trauma are not going to be logical, so it wouldn't be right to ignore their feelings. They're going to need some way to negate possible panic attacks; Phoenix may have to remove himself to his room if he feels the curse's effects coming on, or at the very least, give fair warning to the other grims so that they can remove themselves or prepare themselves if they feel it's necessary.

On the whole, when Phoenix is having a good, no curse day, when he's literally just existing, he should not have to censor his existence from his own family just because they know that he's cursed. That would be awful. Even when he is having a bad curse day, while him moving away from grims who might be triggered by one of his attacks is reasonable, erasing him entirely from the family's presence (and, again, his support system) would be unfair.

The last thing that needs to be considered when thinking about this is: it has been one day. While that one day has translated into 2 VERY long chapters that took me actual months to put out, the time in fic that has passed between when Phoenix had his first big attack and the present is less than 24 hours. Everyone's still sorting out their feelings, so you can't make a judgement on what the best step would be right now. Initial gut reactions are still in play, and there hasn't been space for everyone to sit down, find a management system, and think themselves through everything.

Like Sam said, "they'll get used to it." Even just in that 24 hour time frame, Novus, Sam, Cherry, and Matt have already "gotten used to it" or at least gotten to a place where the curse doesn't matter to them because it's still Phoenix. And that's just grims who have come to that realization as seen in fic. The actual number of grims who have already reached a "don't care" status is probably greater. In the end, it's only going to be a select few who will have a continuing extreme reaction to Phoenix's curse, and finding a management/warning system so that they'll be able to comfortably live with each other won't be as difficult with those low numbers. Give it time. They'll figure it out.

[stuckphantom]

Hey, Pinkroboticunicorn here! Decided to post my Danny Phantom AU here as well, so people can catch up with the story.

Note that this is an unfinished fanfiction that is for Tumblr, and a Prologue, more story to come, anyway here ya go!

Prologue: Danny Phantom.

Danny was always a ghost hunter, through and through like his parents, he never really quit or retired, but he got outted big time, and not in the way you would expect.

It was a seemingly regular day, he was now a sophomore in school, and had just returned from summer vacation, when in the middle of class he just out of the blue transforms into his phantom form, and can't change back. It was COMPLETELY out of the blue, and he kinda panicked, and by panic I mean PANIC! Everyone knew Danny Fenton was Danny Phantom, the reaction wasn't too bad, but it led to a life altering path.

Firstly Danny was stuck in phantom form permanently, but he learned how to alter his clothes from the usual jumpsuit he'd wear, so he could wear normal clothes, but anything he wore had an eerie after glow to it. It's whatever though. 

Valarie needed some space after learning what she did, she just couldn't face Danny until she was ready, but she came round in the end, and even embraced him, and his powers.

Danny's parents were shocked, but not surprised, and apologized for trying to hunt him down, and in solidarity of their son proudly dyed their own hair white.

Vlad, after finding out panicked big time that it might happen to him, so he abducted Danny and studied him for the short amount of time he had him, to make sure it wouldn't happen to him.

Sam, Dani, Tucker, and Jazz absolutely defended him and had their guard up around everyone, but let their guard down when people started to accept him for what he was, a phantom kid.

Dani also found a home with the Fentons as the youngest kid, and officially got adopted from Vlad, else Vlad would suffer the wrath of Maddie Fenton, which is something he didn't want to do, since then Dani has had happy times ahead with her new parents.

Of course during High School they discovered, and rediscovered themselves, Valarie after coming back from her much needed space, began to catch feelings for Danny again, but not just Danny Sam too, and vice versa, so they entered a Poly relationship in their Senior year of High School, and have been going strong ever since.

Dani is still discovering herself, but finds she crushes on boys, girls, and anyone in-between as a pan teen, but it's only crushes.

Now Tucker is a curious case, for the womanizer he was, it was merely a compensation for his real self, he was gay, but didn't want Danny or Sam to know at all, because he was afraid, he was bullied by his last friends for his interests, so he needed to make no one knew he wasn't straight, and only managed to come out officially during Senior Year, when he saw Danny's relationship, and knew he couldn't hold back any longer, he had to come out, and started to date Paul.

Paulina had come out as trans Sophomore year, before the Phantom incident, he changed his name to Paul and everything, and his friend group oschrisized him, and kicked him out, since then he kind of just drifted towards the "loser table" AKA Danny, Sam, Val, and Tucker, since then Paul was a bit of an awakening for Tucker, as the hottest "girl" in school became the hottest boy in School, and he protected him from everyone who would try to bully and mock him, and the like, and they just fell in love.

And when Tucker came out, Paul made his move, and they've been dating since then.

Danny and his friends have fought many villainous ghosts! Danny has also fought villainous ghosts with his family, and he's been doing it still as a now 18 year old, however sometimes you do gotta take a break from time to time, like maybe after graduation, and going through all those tests a nice relaxing cruise with your family?

[pinkroboticunicorn]

BIG FAT DISCLAIMER!! NOT A PROMPT!! A PROLOGUE TO MY FANFICTION!!!

Coming soon after the third and final Prologue, thank you for your patience.... roll prologue!

Heroes AU: The Cruise

Prologue: Danny Phantom.

Danny was always a ghost hunter, through and through like his parents, he never really quit or retired, but he got outted big time, and not in the way you would expect.

It was a seemingly regular day, he was now a sophomore in school, and had just returned from summer vacation, when in the middle of class he just out of the blue transforms into his phantom form, and can't change back. It was COMPLETELY out of the blue, and he kinda panicked, and by panic I mean PANIC! Everyone knew Danny Fenton was Danny Phantom, the reaction wasn't too bad, but it led to a life altering path.

Firstly Danny was stuck in phantom form permanently, but he learned how to alter his clothes from the usual jumpsuit he'd wear, so he could wear normal clothes, but anything he wore had an eerie after glow to it. It's whatever though. 

Valarie needed some space after learning what she did, she just couldn't face Danny until she was ready, but she came round in the end, and even embraced him, and his powers.

Danny's parents were shocked, but not surprised, and apologized for trying to hunt him down, and in solidarity of their son proudly dyed their own hair white.

Vlad, after finding out panicked big time that it might happen to him, so he abducted Danny and studied him for the short amount of time he had him, to make sure it wouldn't happen to him.

Sam, Dani, Tucker, and Jazz absolutely defended him and had their guard up around everyone, but let their guard down when people started to accept him for what he was, a phantom kid.

Dani also found a home with the Fentons as the youngest kid, and officially got adopted from Vlad, else Vlad would suffer the wrath of Maddie Fenton, which is something he didn't want to do, since then Dani has had happy times ahead with her new parents.

Of course during High School they discovered, and rediscovered themselves, Valarie after coming back from her much needed space, began to catch feelings for Danny again, but not just Danny Sam too, and vice versa, so they entered a Poly relationship in their Senior year of High School, and have been going strong ever since.

Dani is still discovering herself, but finds she crushes on boys, girls, and anyone in-between as a pan teen, but it's only crushes.

Now Tucker is a curious case, for the womanizer he was, it was merely a compensation for his real self, he was gay, but didn't want Danny or Sam to know at all, because he was afraid, he was bullied by his last friends for his interests, so he needed to make no one knew he wasn't straight, and only managed to come out officially during Senior Year, when he saw Danny's relationship, and knew he couldn't hold back any longer, he had to come out, and started to date Paul.

Paulina had come out as trans Sophomore year, before the Phantom incident, he changed his name to Paul and everything, and his friend group oschrisized him, and kicked him out, since then he kind of just drifted towards the "loser table" AKA Danny, Sam, Val, and Tucker, since then Paul was a bit of an awakening for Tucker, as the hottest "girl" in school became the hottest boy in School, and he protected him from everyone who would try to bully and mock him, and the like, and they just fell in love.

And when Tucker came out, Paul made his move, and they've been dating since then.

Danny and his friends have fought many villainous ghosts! Danny has also fought villainous ghosts with his family, and he's been doing it still as a now 18 year old, however sometimes you do gotta take a break from time to time, like maybe after graduation, and going through all those tests a nice relaxing cruise with your family?

[hawksonfire]

space AU for Clint&Sam?

Clint is a space cadet turned alien smuggler for aliens who need to get off their home world and make it to a new one, obviously, and Sam is a telepathic species of alien that looks human, but are so very much not. Psychic powers, etc. Clint’s ship breaks down about halfway between the planet he’s escaping and Sam’s planet, and he has to use either his escape pod or slap together a way to make it there, idk.

So he ends up on Sam’s planet with a bunch of refugees (maybe like. Peter and Wanda and Pietro and Kate) and they are being chased by the bad guys who don’t want the refugees to escape, but!! Sam’s people are able to disguise them and keep them safe when the bad guys come looking, until one of Sam’s species gives them up because they don’t like outsiders. Sam of course is super curious and wants to go on adventures etc and peppers Clint with questions about his space life.

In the meantime, Sam and Clint are building sexual tension which is weird because neither of them know if they’re physcially compatible, but they can’t hide the emotions because psychic powers, duh. and they’re right about to find out when another ship lands!! and it’s the bad guys!

There’s a big fight and Clint saves Sam’s life during it, resulting in a mid battle kiss (i.e., pirates of the caribbean style), and then after the battle is over Sam leaves his planet with Clint to be his partner in smuggling refugees.

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Freedom Is A Kiss

Dean Winchester x ofc

Read with caution ⛔️ dub con with a demon/p in v/angst/supernatural typical violence/drinking/soulmates

It is said that you don’t have just one soul mate but a soul family. There are souls with whom you’ve traveled through space and time for millennia. You may all change roles and dynamics but, at the core, your souls have always been a unit. Sometimes though, there is one soul that your soul is drawn to. One soul that matches yours so perfectly and so completely that you might consider them your most perfect mate. But, since this is real life and not some fairy porn romance, not everyone finds their mate. Hell most people don’t even believe in that sort of thing. But it's as real as any of the horrible things we hunt. And, damn me to hell, Dean Winchester is mine. 

Most people aren’t even aware there is such a thing as a soul bond. But I can see the energy of the bond between people. The bond between lovers is the strongest connection there is. And, the only way to lock it into place is if both lovers acknowledge and accept it. If it’s ever broken, the pair rarely survive. 

How do I know all of these things? Well I come from a long line of psychics. My mother Pamela had the unfortunate experience of doing business with the Winchesters. Didn’t end well for her. She’s fine now. We chat. In fact, she’s the one who led me to these boys. Not without many words of caution.  But, they always seem to be in a bind so here I am. And I’ve been here for five years since I’ve graduated.

I was supposed to be a lawyer. I went to law school. Passed the bar. Had an offer at a big firm in New York too. But, duty called or some shit like that. My mom talks to me usually in my dreams. We mostly catch up just like any mom and kid would if they lived far away from one another. One night she came to me so vividly that I swear she was corporeal. “Baby girl, you have to get to South Dakota. Find Bob Singer. He needs you to help him find his boys.” She practically screamed at me. I left two hours later. Never went back. 

I hadn’t seen Bobby Singer since I was a kid. After Mom left to chase greener pastures, I stayed behind with my dad. For my safety she never told anyone about me. Bobby was the only hunter who knew. 

As soon as he saw me that fateful morning, I watched the relief wash over his face. “‘Mom sent me.” I said as I shouldered past him. 

“Damn glad to see you, kid.” I helped him find Sam and Dean. Helped him fight a jinn. That was the first time I ever stabbed something. I wish I could say it was my last. When we freed the boys and got them back on their feet, Dean stared into my eyes and with actual gratitude and something like recognition in his eyes and said, “Thank you for your help…..I’m sorry” he laughed softly, “I don’t even know your name.” 

“Jessamine. Like the flower. But everyone calls me Jesse. You knew my mother. Pamela.” He laughed and then smiled at me in a way that stopped my heart. That’s when I knew. I knew that he was my soulmate because I recognized him too. In every conceivable way he was mine and I was his. Too bad Dean Winchester doesn’t believe in soulmates. 

So, for the last five years, I’ve been following behind him and Sam saving people and hunting things like it was also my birthright. I rode couches and slept in seedy motels until they found the bunker. Now I stay here to “do research”. Sometimes I babysit the angel who blinded my mother and Lucifer’s kid. Fun times. The boys never let me hunt with them anymore. I got kidnapped by the king of hell one time and they never let me out with them again. 

It’s just as well. The longer I ignore my bond with Dean the more it tears me apart. I can see it eating at him too. He looks at me differently now. Less like a sister and more like someone he would actually want to fuck. One night we even got drunk enough that we almost tumbled into bed together. Almost. I’ve never seen him sober up that fast. His rejection sent me spiraling into a depression that I couldn’t shake. It doesn’t make it any better that Cas and Jack can see my bond with Dean clear as crystal. I forbid them from telling him. It would only complicate things. Dean doesn’t think he deserves happiness. He’s said as much more times than I care to count. So I just sit back and let our bond slowly eat away at both of us. 

In any case the boys were on their way back from taking down a vamp nest. Nothing major. Just another day at the office. Jack and I finished cataloging a few things Rowena left behind and I’m headed to bed when I hear the familiar clang of the door. Instead of going out to greet them I scurried off to bed. Dean's scent after a hunt is too much for me to handle. I have to control myself but it’s getting too difficult. Best if I just keep to myself. 

While I brush my teeth I could hear Dean’s gruff voice and the sound of bottle caps hitting the glass table. Doesn’t sound like things went well. I hesitated but turned down the corridor to my room when I ran smack into Cas. He stared down at me with a grave expression. “Save it, Cas. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” 

“How can you take this? I’ve seen true soulmates turn themselves inside out for each other. How can you just let it fester? It will never go away, Jesse.”

I had to. These boys were my family and I loved them, something fierce but nothing good comes from being in love. Not in this world. It’ll end bloody. “Just drop it.” I said quietly, not noticing him looking over my shoulder. 

“Drop what?” My spine stiffened. My eyes plead with Castiel to steady his face. He was such a shitty liar. Before he could open his mouth I turned to Dean yawning. 

“Nothing. I’m going to bed. Glad you both came home in one piece.” I tried to walk away but Dean was in the mood to fight. That’s how he dealt with stuff sometimes. I noticed Sam had already retreated to his corner with Eileen. He probably got the brunt of it on the way back. 

“Out with it, J. If you have something to say, say it.” His eyes were hardened glass clear and laser focused on mine. These are the times when my knees are weak and I can’t muster up my quick wit. Every instinct in my body was urging me to touch him, feel his warmth, soothe him. 

“I have nothing to say. You know I get antsy when you two are gone for too long. And save the speech about this being the lifestyle. I know it is. Is it a crime to give a crap about you?” He softened a little, letting his face relax. 

“No. It’s not. Come on. Have a beer with me. I feel like less of an alcoholic when you drink with me.” A smile tugged at his lips not quite reaching his eyes. I fought the bond hard and won this time thank goodness.  

“You don’t need me. Not when Casa Erotica 27 dropped this morning” I sang.  The dopey grin on his face told me I was in the clear. 

“I love how you know me so well.” He kissed the top of my head and practically skipped to his room. I let out a sigh and went to my room still aching for him. Sleep wouldn’t come easy for me tonight. It rarely did. 

The next morning I went to the kitchen to make some coffee and Sam was already awake. Eileen must have already left. She preferred to keep her place in Lebanon, KS to escape the constant talk of hunting though her upbringing was just as bad as Sam and Dean. I couldn’t blame her for wanting a place to retreat to when things were quiet. 

Sam was already at work looking for the next job. The two of us have developed a routine in the morning that consisted mostly of grunts and raised eyebrows to communicate. I knew how he took his coffee and eggs. He always had the lemon water waiting for me at the table. Sam was easy to get along with and I appreciated his willingness to be quiet in the morning. 

He finally broke the silence as he cleared the breakfast dishes. “I think I found something in Lincoln. You up for a drive?” I was shocked but kept my cool. No way Dean was going to agree. 

“What are we looking at?” 

“A string of bizarre deaths all classified as ‘broken heart syndrome’. But get this, all of the victims are relatively young. Usually occurs in women. But every one of the victims are male and under 50.” 

He turned his laptop towards me so I could see the article in the local paper. “Weird. So what does this have to do with me?” 

“Their partners have all gone missing and were later found sucked dry.” He said warily. 

“Vamps?” I continued to read looking for answers. 

“I was thinking an Incubus. They don’t leave a lot of evidence behind other than the body of their victims. They rarely strike in the same place twice. There are ten victims…5 couples. I thought maybe if you were near the bodies, you could get an echo or something. Maybe sense what happened.” 

I was definitely up for a little adventure. “Yep. I can be ready in twenty.” Sam and I left the kitchen to get ready while Dean was still asleep. No sense in waking him. A few minutes later I heard the two of them arguing. 

“Absolutely not. Not after what happened last time.” Dean barked. 

“The Crowley situation has been dealt with. It’s ancient history. She’s ready to get back out there with us. And, frankly, we need her help.” Sam was always good at getting Dean to see reason. But, when it came to me, he rarely backed down. Cas said it was an instinct due to the soul bond. While that might have been part of it, I think he feels guilty for not being able to save me. 

“No. Find another way.” I stood in the doorway and cleared my throat to announce myself. 

“Don’t I get a say?” Dean rested a protective hand on my shoulder and bent to look me in the eyes. His hold was disarming. I could barely focus on what he was saying. 

“Look, Jesse, I trust you. You’re a damn good hunter. But I was out of my mind when we couldn’t find you last time and I promised I’d never let that happen again.” It was true. He slaughtered every demon who held me by himself. Damn near killed Crowley too. 

“I can take care of myself.” I said deadly calm. Our eyes were locked neither one of us wanting to back down. 

“Ok. Fine.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned to Sam. “You never leave her alone for a minute do you hear me? Get what you need and get back here.” Sam nodded and we both headed for the stairs. I looked back at him before closing the door. His brows were drawn and his breathing harsh. We didn’t speak a word to each other. Didn’t need to. He was terrified and he had no idea why. 

Baby roared to life and we pulled away music blaring. I caught Sam glancing at me every few miles out of the corner of my eye. “You ok?” he asked. 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I’ve never seen him so worried. Kind of feels like how much I worry when Eileen goes out by herself.” A knowing smile played on his lips. 

“Dean and I aren’t the same as you and Eileen. You’re in love with her. It’s different.” I shuffled through the cassette tapes until I found something loud enough to drown him out. I popped in Alice In Chains and turned it up. 

Sam shut off the radio completely leaving nothing but the rumble of the engine and road noise to fill the car. “I thought Jess was my soulmate until I met Eileen. It was like we recognized each other. Not that it surprised her.” he smiled to himself “Of course she knew all about actual bonded soul lore. The only person Dean ever went postal for was me. That is until Crowley’s flunkies caught you. I have never seen him like that.” For several minutes I didn’t respond. Just kept staring at the road flying beneath us. “But if you don’t want to talk about it…” he went for the volume knob when I spoke up. 

“I know he’s my soulmate. Cas and Jack can see the bond but I knew before Jack said anything. I can see it too. Smell him. Sense him when he’s miles away. I can sense his moods. Sometimes I think I can hear his thoughts. Probably can. You know what would happen if he acknowledged this thing even existed. I can’t take the rejection.” Sam didn’t respond. He knew exactly how Dean would take this information. He would push me away out of fear. Fear of the target that would inevitably be placed on my back. Fear that something would happen to me every time I left the bunker. But, more than anything, fear of the pain I’ll endure for simply loving him. Being in love with Dean Winchester was a full contact sport and no one made it out unscathed.  

We didn’t speak about it again. I knew I was placing an unnecessary burden on Sam. He didn’t meddle in my personal life. Never says a word when I try to sneak in in the wee hours after a hookup. He lets me live my life and that is why I feel terrible about him keeping this from his brother. But he knows it’s for the best. 

We made it to Lincoln in a little more than three hours having changed at a gas station just outside of town. He gave me my badge with an unremarkable name typed on the ID. Only Sam and I knew Agent Wilson was after Ann and Nancy Wilson from the band Heart.  

The medical examiner went through his preliminary autopsy with Sam while I examined the body on the slab. He was male, 25 and newly engaged to his high school sweetheart. His fiancé was found a dried out husk on the floor of their bedroom. He was five feet away, hand extended like he was reaching for her. His heart gave out less than ten minutes after her T.O.D. near as the ME could figure. I placed my hands on his temples and waited for the vision that would slam into me. I waited to feel his horror and pain but I didn’t feel any of that. I felt intense pleasure and like I was satiated. I wasn’t seeing through his eyes but the eyes of the killer. I watched the whole horrific scene play out and promptly vomited into a trash can. 

Sam and the doctor watched confused from the doorway. “First time seeing a dead body.” Sam explained as I grabbed napkins from above the sink. I tried to listen to their conversation but everything was muffled like I was under water. The two men finished their conversation and Sam lead me quickly back to the car. 

“What did you see?” He asked slowly as I regained my composure. I recounted the whole sordid tale not leaving out any details. 

“I get the feeling. I think I know where it’s going next or where it just was. I don’t know, Sam. I think I opened a link to it.” 

His brows knitted together with worry, “You could have inadvertently. Can you still feel it? Can it be closed? I mean, before the thing realizes.” 

I tried severing the link when I went hurling back into another vision. I could smell the victim's perfume. Heard her partner screaming.  She was warm beneath me. This wasn’t the past. This was happening in real time. I went back. Back as far as I could to see any details of their location. Anything that could pinpoint where they were. It would be too late. I saw an address on an envelope and snapped back to consciousness. “516 Meadowdale. Go!” 

By the time we got there, they were already dead. “Do not touch anything. I’m going to call this in anonymously and we’re getting the hell out of here.” Sam dialed 911 as we were speeding towards the freeway. 

I was utterly drained and couldn’t keep my eyes open. Every time I fell asleep I was seeing through the monster’s eyes. He was reliving his kills over the last few days. The psychopath was getting off on them. 

We made it back to the bunker by nightfall and I headed directly to my bed. Dean was waiting for us to get a full report but I couldn’t stand. “What happened?” He asked Sam. I kept walking. 

I didn’t even bother taking off my boots. Sleep came fast and I was deep in another vision when I jolted awake. Dean was sitting in a chair at the end of my bed watching me. “What time is it?” My voice sounded like it was dragged through gravel. 

“A little after 2am. Another nightmare?” He handed me a glass of water which I drained in two long gulps. 

“Yeah. I assume Sam told you everything?” He nodded, planting his feet firmly on the ground ready to scold me. 

“He did. We have to figure out how to get you unlinked from this thing. Sammy’s on the phone with Rowena now. If anything changes. If it becomes aware, you need to let us know.” He hesitated to touch me but he tentatively took my hand in his. “You scare the shit out of me sometimes, kid.” I wondered if he could sense me like I could sense him. If he even realized he could. He pressed his lips into a hard line and then pressed his mouth to the top of my head inhaling my scent as he did. 

“I scare myself sometimes too.” I said quietly. “What do we know about the demon?” All I wanted was to change the subject and get out of his hold. I didn’t want his sympathy or fear to overwhelm me. I could link with the demon and I could find out where it would strike next. I scooted to the edge of the bed and tied my hair back readying myself to head to the war room. 

“Whoa whoa slow down. Sam’s working on putting together the victim statements. We have time. Rest.” Dean grabbed for me but I was just out of his reach already making my way down the hall. “J, stop. We’ll handle this.” 

I was absolutely livid that he wouldn’t let me hunt this thing with them. I was our best shot at preventing anymore killings. “You sidelining me, Winchester?” 

“And what if I am, Barnes?” I kept walking and he stalked after me. “Do not walk away from me. You need to rest.”

“I can’t! Every time I close my eyes I’m letting my guard down. The deeper I go the more I can feel, see and hear. It’s only a matter of time before it catches on. You need me.” I left him brooding in the hall making my way to the rest of the boys. I pulled up a chair and grabbed a folder out of the pile in front of Sam. The newest victims' smiling faces stared up at me from a picture, frozen in a happier time. A small bag of personal effects was stapled to the front of the folder. No way I could touch it. I’d relive the whole thing. Sam and Cas stared at me waiting for me to say something. Anything. Dean walked past us into the kitchen grumbling under his breath. Fuck him. I let him throw his temper tantrum and gave Sam and Cas a look pinning them to their chairs. “What do we know?” I asked, keeping my eyes focused on the pages. 

“None of the couples have anything in common except they’re all from Lincoln. There has to be something connecting them. He’s not choosing them at random.” Sam scowled at the table. We’d keep looking. Until the wee hours if we had to. “Anyway. Rowena gave me a spell to cloak you from the demon. It’s simple and I have everything we need here.” 

“Let’s go.” I said dropping the folder. Cas and Jack would keep looking into the couples. We got a few family member interviews that the sheriffs office already conducted. Maybe that would shed some light. 

Sam gathered the spell ingredients while I cast a protective circle. It was a simple incantation and some muddled herbs nothing major or life altering. Sam recited the spell while I closed my eyes and opened the psychic link with the demon. 

meos, sed videam.  Odi odor, sed sensus.  cor pallii, sed benedictum Dominum sentio

Sam’s voice was distant, a mere breath on the wind as I went deeper. Everything was cloudy, almost veiled but I could see clearly. It was on the move. Through its eyes I could see the sign “Now entering Kansas: The Sunflower State.” He was headed south but I had no inkling on where he’d end up. I tried going through its memories to gather information. I went back to the date of the last murder and saw Sam and I running from the victims house. It knew who we were. I stayed in the trance much longer than I should have. The demon started to feel a pounding in its head. It wouldn’t be long before it realized why it was in pain. I pulled back quickly, my eyes flew open to see three horrified faces staring back at me and one pissed of Dean calling my name. “Call Eileen. Tell her to pack a bag. It’s headed south. It was still at the scene of the last murder. It knows us. Sam, no stops. Get her here fast.”

Sam nodded and left to call Eileen right away. Before I could head back to the war room Dean stopped me. “What the hell was that? Do you have a death wish?” 

“No. But if I’m the best way to find this thing why wouldn’t you use me?” He was unusually protective of me this time. Then again, I rarely fight this hard to hunt. “What is going on with you, man?” 

“Why are you pushing this so hard? It’s like the demon owes you money or something.” We sized each other up, both of us more than ready to fight. No way I’m backing down. He’s right though. I’m taking it personally. I felt…the demon felt like it was looking for something specific. Like the more love the victims felt for one another the more he enjoyed the game. Got off on it when they begged for their soulmate's life. Soulmates! It was then that I realized it was looking for bonded pairs. 

“All the victims were soulmates.” I said before I took off for their files. I held their personal effects in my hands and let the whole horrific scene play out like a crappy slasher flick. The guy fought like hell but the demon was stronger. It immobilized him and made him watch his wife get sucked dry. His eyes held hers the whole time pleading with it to take him instead. I couldn’t see the demon’s face but could see his body, it’s hair draping strategically over it’s features. When she drew her last breath, the guy wailed and thrashed trying to get out of the demon’s hold. The sick bastard just left them there. Vanished into thin air and left them there. It wasn’t long before everything went hazy. I dropped the bag and collapsed into a heap on the ground sobbing into my hands. I was right. I saw their bond bright as sunlight and then I saw it go dark. And now the thing was coming after Sam and I. It would take Eileen. No way I would let that happen. Later I’ll go somewhere quiet and open the link again. Maybe it got somewhere that I could recognize. 

Cas and Jack were at my side checking me for injuries. I didn’t realize it at first but blood was dripping from my nose. I batted them away. They had no reason to fuss. When I went to grab another folder Dean stopped me. His face was twisted in pain and his hands trembled. “No more. I can’t watch that again. I don’t care if you solve the whole damn case. This ends now.” His nostrils flared and his chest heaved. He was like a coiled spring waiting to tear apart whatever had me in its grasp. “You were screaming like it was happening to you, Jessamine.”

Jessamine. He only calls me that to tease me or when he’s beyond pissed. Last time he called me Jessamine was when I had a few too many and took Baby. She was fine. It was all “Jessamine Lorien Barnes, if you ever touch my baby again I will not hesitate.” 

I got to my feet looking towards the table for another folder. “It could go after Sam and Eileen!” I pushed past him to the table but he was quicker. 

“It could come after us!” The whole room went still as death. He knew we were bonded. Knew it and never had the balls to acknowledge it. The sting of rejection left an acrid feeling in my stomach. 

“You knew about us?” Tears stung my eyes but I willed them not to spill. 

“Of course I did. Why do you think Crowley took you instead of Sam? The damn thing is like a beacon for every creep we fight. And if we actually did solidify the bond it would be endgame for us. You would never be safe. This can’t happen. We will never happen. You know better than anyone how things end with me. Look at what happened to your mom.” He paced back and forth ranting but I couldn’t listen any longer. 

“I get it, Dean. I understand.” I was t minus seven seconds away from bawling like a schoolgirl. I had to get out of there. “I um…I’ll leave it alone.” The first tear spilled before I could look away from him. His guilt washed over me and made me feel ten times worse. I quickened my pace and slammed my door shut then I let it all out. He didn’t outright reject the bond but it felt like agony nonetheless. I knew they could hear me wailing. Knew Dean was hovering outside of my door. Mercifully enough they let me be. 

Once I collected myself and I could no longer sense Dean I slipped out of the bunker and drove up to a nearby diner. This was my go to place when I needed time to myself. The coffee was strong and the burgers were greasy. Perfect for wallowing in my self loathing. I pulled a book out of my bag and slid into a booth in the back where I wouldn’t be bothered. My favorite waitress was on tonight. She knew my order and asked me only pertinent questions. The thrum of the diner offered me peace and, before I knew it, I was adrift in my own consciousness. 

I drained three cups of too strong coffee and polished off half of my burger when I was jarred by a vision. Normally I had to touch something but this one felt different. It felt like it was sent to me. I saw through the demon’s eyes an address to a house where it watched from the bushes. It was showing me its next victim. It was daring me to find it. I had absolutely zero doubts that I was walking into a trap but I didn’t care. I had to end this. I lowered the veil so it knew I was watching. I could feel its amusement tickling up and down my spine. Once the vision ended, I paid my check, entered the address into my GPS and started driving. Everything in my gut told me to turn back or to at least call one of the boys for back up. My pride got the better of me and I drove on. 

I thought of my interaction with Dean during the entire drive. I knew he would react the way he did about being my soulmate and I still couldn’t handle it.  I had really never given much thought to being Dean’s person. Sure we were great friends but anything more had never crossed my mind. The longer I suppressed the bond, the harder it became for me to be around him. Like my baser instincts were taking over pushing me towards him. I suppose there are lots of ways to be family. They didn’t always have to be romantic. But, the more I thought about it I didn’t want to just be his close confidant. I wanted to be his. Wholelly, unequivocally his. Something deep within me told me that we were meant to be. Dean didn’t believe in “meant to be” or “happily ever after”. I hadn’t really either until now. I sure as hell don’t believe in happy endings. Hell, I suppose any hunter who ends up with another hunter is bound by shared trauma more than tender loving feelings. I understood his fear. Both he and Sam are constantly in the cross hairs of all manner of beings. Eileen was a strong hunter but Sam worried just as I’m sure she worries for Sam. But isn’t that what a relationship is? Your pain is their pain right? Dean seemed to shoulder the world’s pain. He couldn’t possibly find space within himself to shoulder mine too. Dean was also notoriously private about his feelings. If he thought for one second that I was possibly taking on anything he held, he would push me away even further. Hell, maybe he did know which is why he constantly kept me at arms length. There were times though that he couldn’t seem to leave me. Those were the nights we drank and laughed together. He said it was how he forgot all the crap in his brain and it was just better to do it with someone else. I think he can’t fathom doing it without his other half. I had to put these intrusive thoughts out of my head and get my game face on. There was no time for lamenting. 

I finally arrived at the address the demon showed me and the place appeared abandoned. It wasn’t lit up warm like the vision it sent. Now I know it was probably a memory and I was very much walking into a trap. It knew I was here so there was no turning back. I sent my location to Sam and held my breath as I walked up a long driveway to a sprawling broken mansion. “Hello?” I clicked on my flashlight and surveyed the place. The furniture was broken and dusty and covered in fallen faded police tape. The whole place smelled of decay. I could feel the demon’s presence as I got closer to the upperrooms of the house. “I know you’re here. May as well show yourself.” 

“If I told you where I was that would take all the romance out of it now wouldn’t it? Come find me, little mouse.” Its voice was low and enticing. I kept searching rooms until I got to what I assume was the primary bedroom of the house. The demon sat in a chair next to a ruined bed illuminated by dozens of candles. 

“With all this kindling around here are you sure candlelight was the way to go?” I asked, hoping my sardonic tone masked my fear. The meat suit the demon infected was beyond normal conventions of attractiveness. The human host was tall with mysterious dark eyes and muscles in all the right places. “You called me here. What do you want?”

“You and your friend were so interested in what I was doing I would be remiss if I didn’t invite you to play with me. And I am nothing if not well mannered. Tell me, little mouse, did you enjoy what you saw?” Strong hands stroked the arm of the tufted chair and I found myself wondering what those hands would feel like stroking my body. I could feel my resolve slipping. I let my hand slowly drift to the hilt of my demon blade as I walked closer to where it was waiting. “Now now. You won’t be needing that.” My hand was pinned to my side and I kept walking though I willed myself to stop. 

“I’m not here with my mate. He rejected me. So if that’s your kink I’m sorry to disappoint.” My voice was shaky as I lowered myself onto its thigh. My core was hot and sticky to the point that I could no longer hide my arousal. The smell of the host’s skin sent me spiraling and I leaned into its touch. 

“He didn’t reject you, sweet little mouse. Your bond is strong as ever. That Winchester boy will come. And when he does, he’ll watch me take you just like all the others. Then I’ll watch his heartbreak take him too. It will be too delicious. Who knew how simple it would be to take down Dean Winchester?” it chuckled against my throat. Its lips brushed over my collarbone and down to my decollete. My body betrayed me at every turn. I couldn’t help but press myself down onto his thigh to relieve some of the ache building there. I whimpered as it put its hand at the small of my back and encouraged me to move. “Yes, that’s a good little mouse. Look at how hot and bothered you are and I am barely touching you. What would happen if I touched that sweet little pussy? Hmm? Would it be as wet as I think?” Its hands slipped into the waistband of my panties and brushed against my clit causing me to cry out. “Mmmh even wetter. That boy doesn’t know what he’s missing.” My mind was screaming to stop but I physically couldn’t help myself. I rocked against its hand allowing my orgasm to build. Just when I thought I would break it stopped. “Now, slow down, Sugar. Let’s wait for the rest of the party to arrive.” It lifted me off of its lap leaving me panting and frustrated.

I have no idea how long I was in that room before I heard the front door burst open. The demon laughed when he heard Sam shouting my name. I was naked and splayed on the floor watching the demon divest itself of its clothing. The host’s cock was already dripping, waiting for the perfect moment to sheath itself in my waiting core. It lined itself up between my legs and began its slow tortuous ministrations on my aching cunt making me moan loud enough to hear over the sounds of splintering wood. “Yes, little mouse. Call out to your mate.” Crack went another door and I heard Sam again. My whole body shook from another orgasm. “Call his name, little mouse. Let him know where you are.” 

“I’d rather say yours” I managed to say. “You’re the one making me cum.” I couldn’t move my hands to touch it but I could stroke its ego. The way the host’s face lit up let me know I was on the right track. 

“My name? Oh, little mouse. I have many names. But for tonight, you can call me Master.” It spread my legs wider fucking hard into me bringing me into another mind shattering release. 

“No, demon. Your real name. I’m calling you out. You have to answer” It’s whole body went stiff and it grabbed my chin to stop me from talking. Demons have very few rules but telling you their name when called out is one essential rule they cannot break. 

“Saleos!” It grunted. “Crafty little mouse. Say my name then. Scream it for your mate to hear. Let him know how good I’m making you feel.” It rutted into me so hard I could barely speak. But when it lifted the host’s head and stared into my eyes I could see its pleasure building and I knew I had it. 

“Saleos huh? Don’t want to blow your load before he’s able to see right? Better hang on for me. Or is my pussy that good?” I wrapped my hands around the back of its neck and pulled it close to kiss and began to whisper instead. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica…..” The demon inside started to twitch and flicker but I held on tight continuing the words that I had committed to memory. The black smoke plumed from the nostrils mouth and eyes, weakening it enough for me to grab the knife it hadn’t thrown far enough away. I plunged the knife between the hosts ribs and saw the black fade from its eyes just as Sam and Dean burst through the door. It’s naked body fell limp and heavy on top of me. I managed to push it off and quickly grab a few shreds of a ruined bedsheet. 

Sam turned away to give me a bit of dignity. “You ok?” he muttered. 

“Fine. Can you give a girl a second?” he left the room but Dean remained wordlessly staring. 

“Save it. Whatever speech you’re about to give me about my safety I do not care to hear it.” I managed to find my clothes and surprisingly none of them were torn. Dean seemed to be in some kind of trance. “What’s wrong, Dean? You act like you haven’t seen a naked woman before.” 

“Did it…did it finish…I mean did…I don’t know what I want to say right now. So many thoughts are running through my head and all I want to do is rip those panties off of you. I literally cannot focus on anything else.” He stalked toward me like a lion about to devour its prey. He unfastened his belt and tore his shirt over his head revealing his tattooed chest already glistening with sweat. The scent of his arousal was so overpowering that I had no choice but to comply. 

“Uh uh.. I didn’t give it a chance to finish.” I whispered too stunned to speak any louder. 

“But it made you cum.” He pressed against me letting me feel just how much he needed to be inside me at this very moment. 

“I couldn’t help…” A brutal kiss stopped me from saying any more. 

“I can do better” he growled. “Sammy, get lost for a while!” he shouted. Sam’s heavy footsteps retreated out to the Impala as fast as he could carry himself. Dean kissed me again soft and slow, still managing  to get the rest of his clothes off without breaking away from my lips. I was already soaked from the demon but when Dean looked me over I was a goner. A fresh wave of arousal hit me and his nostrils flared when he scented it. With one swift movement he grabbed my hips and slammed into me. We both moaned at the sensation. He moved inside me like he was possessed himself. “I was so scared, J.” his head fell forward onto my chest, whining as he drew closer to his release. “I thought I lost you.”

“But you didn’t and I’m sorry I scared you.” I retorted breathlessly. We didn’t speak anymore. The only sounds to fill the decrepit room were the sounds of our moans and the slap of our bodies. His pace became erratic and I knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. I placed my hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look down at me. We said nothing but stared long and deep into each other’s eyes as we both met our end then he collapsed, satiated and warm onto me. We held each other in the darkened room simply feeling each other’s feelings and thoughts. This was right. It felt like we belonged together. I knew at that moment that I loved him. Could feel that he loved me too. But something was off like he was conflicted. I didn’t want to ruin it by asking so I let him lay on my chest for a while longer. 

After several moments we heard Sam calling from the foyer, “Are you two going to be much longer? I’m bored and hungry.” I laughed but Dean didn’t so much as crack a smile. 

He stood up grabbing his clothes and throwing mine over to me. There was a hint of regret playing at his face which started to enrage me but I shut it down and finished dressing. “Do you want me to ride with you? I’ll let Sam drive my car home.” I was searching for anything that let me know he was happy with this. He gave me nothing. 

“Why don’t you take Sam with you? I’ll meet you at the bunker.” He never made eye contact with me once. And it wasn’t lost on me that he said “the bunker” instead of calling it “home”. 

“I’ll go alone.” I murmured. No response. “Hope you enjoyed yourself.” I said as grabbed my shoes and headed for my car. He didn’t follow me and I didn’t expect him to. 

“You two good?” Sam asked with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. But then he saw my face and the tears that were about to spill. “Ok, not good? I’m confused.”

“I need to get out of here.” My voice broke as I fished my keys out of my pocket. “Move, Sam. I have to go.”

“Jesse, look at me. You are a wreck. Let me drive you.” he grabbed my keys but I pushed his hand away. Dean started to descend the stairs looking down at his feet instead of towards me. 

“Please, Sam. Let me go.” I pleaded with him. He finally relented and I took off before Dean could stop me if that was even his intention. Once I was in my car I plugged in my phone, put it on “do not disturb” and found a song loud enough to drown out any memory of what just happened. Fuck Dean Winchester. Fuck him and his stupid self loathing. I pounded my fist on the steering wheel in time to the drums in the song I had blaring through the car’s speakers. I needed a drink and a shower and to start looking for a new place to live because I was done. Fucking done with his bullshit. I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone. I just wanted to get lost. 

Once I made it into the bunker I grabbed a bottle of something brown and headed for the shower. Cas and Jack were smart enough not to say a word to me as I stormed past. Sam and Dean made it a few minutes after I did. I hurried out of my clothes and started the shower. Not only did I lock the door but I barricaded it with a chair that I grabbed from in front of the desk in my room. I turned the water on as hot as my body could stand and used my loofah to scrub every place Dean and Saleos had been. I scrubbed so hard at my thighs that the skin began to turn red and split into fine scrapes. I watched the blood well on my skin through blurry tears. 

I got myself together and went back to my room to start throwing things into a bag. I had a few credit cards that I hadn’t used. What was left on them would be more than enough to get me a few towns over. I chugged from the open bottle relishing the sting in the back of my throat. I had no real plan other than getting as far away from Dean and this ridiculous bond as possible. I could hear him and Sam arguing from the other room but he didn’t come after me. He must have wanted me gone as much as I wanted to leave.I drained the rest of the bottle feeling the effects of the liquor starting to take hold. It only made me feel bolder and ready to throw some punches. I trekked back to the main room where everyone, including Eileen, were silently drinking. Eileen and Sam signed to each other but no one interjected. I didn’t say anything as I headed for the stairs. Dean watched me, making me angrier with each step that I took. 

Jack was the only one to get up from his seat. He put his body between me and the stairs and placed his hands on my shoulders, “I don’t know what happened but I won’t let you deal with it alone. If you have to go, fine but I’m coming with you.” He held my shoulders tight, his eyes pleading. “You don’t have to do this alone, Jesse.” How did this kid know exactly what to say to make me feel guilty? 

“Thank you for always taking care of me but I have to go, baby boy. I love you so much.” I hugged him tight, swaying a little from the effects of the alcohol. 

“Stop her, Dean! You're in love with her. Don’t you feel it? The woman you love is walking away from you.” He begged and begged while I took the slow trudge up the stairs to the door. 

“She wants to go, let her go. She wants to act like a little girl, that’s her right.” Dean grumbled. “All of you stay out of it. This is none of your business.” A laugh bubbled up from somewhere deep in my belly. 

“Fuck you, Dean.” I flipped him off before yanking the handle on the door. 

“No! This is absolutely our business. We are a family!” Eileen hugged Jack around his shoulders trying to shush him. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was now or never. Do or die. Walk out the door and reject the bond once and for all or stay here and live with this hot and cold act that Dean does. 

“You’re right, Jack. We are a family. And sometimes it’s ok when Mom and Dad fight. But we aren’t fighting are we, Dean? Wanna know what happened? Sam and Dean walked in at the exact moment that I ganked the demon all by myself.”

“Because that’s how you wanted it!” Dean shouted, taking the stairs two at a time to get in my face. Like that would intimidate me.

“You’re right! That’s how I wanted it. I let that black eyed piece of shit fuck me and I finished the job. But instead of being fucking concerned about me.. instead of giving a shit about how I was feeling you let your primal instincts take over and you fucked me. Had to mark your territory didn’t you, baby? Like you have some claim on me. And now he regrets it. So he’s letting me go to assuage his guilt. Does that sum it up?” I stood back and waited for him to say something. Anything to let me know that he cared even a little. 

“Yeah that sounds about right. I feel fucking guilty. I regret that I couldn’t control myself. I feel fucking guilty that I wasn’t there to stop that fucker from violating you. And I’m pissed that you didn’t let me do this with you because I promise it wouldn’t have gotten that far. I went absolutely insane when you sent that SOS to Sam. Broke every traffic law on the books to get to you. And that’s what I had to walk into? Had to see that..that thing on top of you? Inside of you? The bond took over and I reacted and I feel like shit for taking advantage of you. Happy now? Go if you want. I won’t stop you. But you walk out…you walk away from me…from this, say out loud that you reject the bond so we can both move on.” We stared at each other, neither of us willing to relent. The problem was we were both incredibly stupid and stubborn and neither of us had the guts to really say what we felt. I guess he did just then but in general. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and let him hold me the way I knew he wanted to. His hands were curled into fists causing the veins to pop out on his forearms. He was holding himself back just as much. Like I said, we’re idiots. His eyes narrowed and he moved closer to me, “Say it.” 

“I love you.” I blurted out. It seemed to take all of the wind out of his sails. From some distant corner of the room I heard Sam laugh and Eileen smacking him for doing so. 

“I love you too!” he shouted back. “Don’t ever leave me again. It hurts my feelings when you do!” 

“Fine! I had no idea where I was going anyway.” He tried not to smile but he lost that battle. 

“Holy hell you two are idiots.” Sam shouted from the lower level. “Someone order a few pizzas before Jesse sobers up. She gets cranky when she’s hungry.” 

Jack happily bounced up the stairs and took my bag while Dean and I continued to stare at each other. And we stayed that way for several more seconds before I walked past him to plop into a chair next to Cas. The angel put his arm around me grinning like a fool. “This relationship is going to put us all in harm's way isn’t it?” 

“Oh none of us will survive it.” The