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alister312 · 2 years

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What Do We Canonically Know About Gregory?

“I must say, I don’t think I belong with these rogues. I attended school at Yardale and had a 4-0 grade point average.”

Gregory may have only ever appeared as a secondary character in the 1999 film South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, but years after the film, the SP fandom still loves him. However, with such a disproportionate ratio of screen time to fan appreciation, what is fanon versus what is canon can get confused. Therefore, today I’d like to go through everything we canonically know about Gregory, with some light personal speculation based on the canon.

To start, I’ll state that what I am taking to be canon is everything that happened in the movie, along with South Park Studios wiki page about him (as close to an official wiki as I can get).

In the very first scene Gregory appears in, we learn a few concrete things about him.

Firstly, he can ice skate and it seems he��s relatively talented, as he mentions doing jumps earlier. Second, he introduces himself as “Gregory” and mentions he has just transferred from Yardale where he had a “4-0 grade point average”. His fandom wiki page mentions that Yardale is meant to be a portmanteau of Yale and Harvard, though I haven’t found anything to back this up. If it’s true, though, it speaks highly of his intellect. Whether it’s true or not, it’s clear that intelligence, or perhaps education generally, is important to Gregory, if he tells others his grades before even his last name. This tracks for later in the movie, when he and Wendy smile at one another when Garrison says that there’s “a lot to learn today” before class.

The value that Gregory places on intelligence and education are likely why he seems to only want to interact with Wendy. He tells Stan that he and Wendy spent time “talking of memories past”, which probably involved her frustrations with being one of the few more mature (and therefore “intelligent”) kids in her grade. Gregory quickly loses interest with Stan when he mentions that he’s gone to see the Terrance and Phillip (T&P) movie, saying a simple “Oho!” before leaving to talk with Wendy more. Considering they’re the only ones who didn’t wear T&P shirts to school, he obviously sees Wendy as his only intellectual equal.

Despite this, Gregory readily joins in with the others during “It’s Easy MMMkay”. He does have a line about how he doesn’t think he should be there, yet he sings and dances throughout the song/rehabilitation. He even laughs with the other kids at the end of the whole thing! In fact, I’d say this song is the time when he is the most similar to the other kids. It’s possible that the song and dance components brought that out in him.

This sequence is also the only hint we ever get towards Gregory’s parents, and not even that in depth, but I wanted to mention it anyway. Mr. Mackey tells all the students at the beginning that “[their] mothers insisted they be taken from [their] normal schoolwork and taught not to swear”. Therefore, we can reasonably say that 1) Gregory at least has a mother and 2) she believes in good manners. Based on how poshly Gregory conducts himself, I’d go a step further and say that his mother (and perhaps dad if he has one) places a heavy emphasis on manners, especially if she’s willing to pull him from schoolwork (something he has previously demonstrated to be of great importance to him and likely his parents as well).

Now, let’s get into political Gregory, another key canonical component of his character. The first instance we see of this is when Garrison makes a comment about all the mothers being on their periods, a lame explanation as to why they’ve arrested T&P. Wendy whispers something to Gregory and he feels compelled to share what she told him (“Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement”). It’s unclear why Wendy didn’t say it out loud herself, but my guess is that because Garrison is a sexist, she assumed she’d be dismissed and hoped Gregory would be taken seriously. If this is the case, then Gregory is aware of the privilege he holds and is keen to use it to uplift and bring attention to those oppressed.

Since we’re talking about political Gregory, let’s circle back to the idea that Wendy is Gregory’s only intellectual equal at school (in his eyes at least). For most of the movie, only they (and arguably Christophe) demonstrably understand the political nuance of the Canadian war and what it implies. When the declaration of war is announced, Wendy and Gregory appear to be the only students who are scared rather than confused. Even when Gregory tries to explain why this is wrong, what he says goes over everyone’s head except for Wendy.

However, while they’re mostly on the same page, there’s a few differences in what exactly they seem to take issue with. During Gregory’s recess soapbox speech, he seems to fixate on how this is an issue with America as a country (“The American government thinks it has the right to police the world. Your government is going to kill two Canadian citizens, an action condemned by the UN. Home of the free indeed!”). These lines tell us that Gregory is not American (“your government”). This is further confirmed when he uses kilometers as measurements later in the movie. Additionally, his direct accusation of the country and sarcastic tone at the end indicates that he doesn’t think very highly of the U.S. at all.

Wendy, meanwhile, seems to focus more on freedom of speech and censorship, suggesting that she is not quite as radicalized against America as Gregory is. After she speaks, Gregory starts talking again, although we don’t get to hear what he says because Stan (the current audience perspective) is distracted. However, based on the fact that Wendy asks Stan what he thinks afterward, I think it’s likely that Gregory is explaining why he feels so strongly and why others should too. This could connect back towards his potential want to use his privilege to educate and uplift others.

I believe Gregory is able to accomplish this to an extent! While it’s Kyle (along with Stan and Cartman) who puts out the call for others to meet for La Resistance, when Gregory shows up with Wendy, he says that others are coming. Considering he’s new in town and has no friends besides Wendy, how would he know this? I think that, once he and Wendy learned there was a resistance group, they went and convinced others to join. Only two kids leave when they learn there isn’t any punch or pie, so the rest are actually dedicated to the cause. Considering how uninterested they were before, it makes sense that somehow Gregory was able to get through to them.

Even if this is what Gregory wants, however, it’s obvious that he struggles at being patient with anyone who isn’t as informed as he is. He is impressed by Stan and the others’ willingness to try, he is quickly frustrated at their lack of experience. He has enough manners in him to ask “May I?” when it’s revealed that Stan’s plan is useless, but not enough patience to wait for a yes before he takes over the La Resistance meeting. While this could be seen as rude or snobbish, it’s evident that Gregory has already spent a lot of time researching, likely already planning to do something himself. How else would he so intricately know the layout of the base where T&P are being kept or the exact window of opportunity during the USO show?

Gregory’s song, of course, says a lot about his perspective on the world. For starters, despite his pessimism about America, Gregory does seem to believe in freedom. He is not just fighting to dismantle– he is fighting to improve. Also, religion seems to be a rather heavy influence for him. Not only does he invoke God when talking about fighting for freedom, but he claims they are all “blessèd” and ultimately “only the righteous” will stand. Often, the connotation behind righteousness is a religious one, or a moral one which can stem from religious teachings.

Another tenet of Gregory’s belief seems to be the idea that sacrifice is admirable, necessary, and inevitable when fighting for freedom. He describes various potential and graphic scenarios where they die for the cause, but these are meant to be inspiring rather than scary. Additionally, he implies that these are not hypotheticals (“when you all get shot”, “when they torture you”, “that’s the way it goes / in war you’re shat upon”). Gregory definitely takes revolutionary work very seriously, but he also seems to romanticize the idea of being a martyr. While that paints him in a slightly naive light, he is at least willing to be hands on and isn’t scared to be a part of the body count (switching from “for though you die” to “for though we die”).

The way Gregory acts throughout the whole of the La Resistance meeting and later in the film (when he realizes Stan and the others failed) really shows that Gregory has a lot of self confidence, which can manifest as arrogance. It’s not as if his confidence is unearned– he is clearly very competent and experienced when it comes to revolutionary work. However, Gregory does automatically assume others can’t handle dangerous or complicated tasks (and is unsurprised when proven right). I don’t think he realizes that he is coming off as pretentious, considering how unfazed he is whenever people get annoyed with him.

In fact, the only time Gregory seems truly offended is when Wendy vocally renounces him, saying “Fuck Gregory, fuck him right in the ear!” This isn’t the first time she’s looked at him angrily or the first time he’s been “insulted” right to his face (earlier when Cartman called him a “fucking faggot”), but this is the first time it upsets him. Why? I think it’s a combination of two things. First, he doesn’t seem that great at picking up on subtleties. He couldn’t tell when Wendy was annoyed with him, or when Stan was, and he’s not great at being subtle himself. Second, either Gregory doesn’t consider faggot to be an insult or Wendy’s opinion is one he actually values, especially when compared to Cartman. Both of these are possible, though the latter is more likely.

Is it possible for Gregory to overcome his arrogance and dismissive mindset when it comes to others? It seems so! The way he praises Stan for volunteering and seems impressed when he finally understands the heart of the issue (i.e. freedom of speech) suggests that Gregory grows to like people as long as they are trying. He even entrusts the very symbolically important role of La Resistance banner holder to Butters, despite the fact that Butters trips when he holds it. This could even connect back to why Gregory is so into Mr. Mackey’s rehabilitation– he appreciates when others put in the effort to better themselves and the world around them. This is likely why he praises Christophe (calling him an expert), as Christophe is shown to be a very dedicated and determined individual, even if he’s misotheistic (contrasting Gregory’s positive tone towards God) and prone to toilet humor (the “buttfor” joke).

So now that we know all there is to canonically know about Gregory, what are the core components of his character? He places a lot of his own worth in his intelligence/education and expects others to as well. I’d argue that his high expectations of hyper competence tie into this as well. All of that contributes to his slight arrogance and inability to truly connect with others who aren’t on the same level as him, with Wendy and Christophe (and perhaps Stan by the end) seeming to be the only ones who have his respect. Despite this, Gregory uses his privileged standing to advocate for others and speaks out against (and actively fights) injustice. He has very strong (perhaps Christian-inspired) morals and isn’t afraid to sacrifice himself for what he believes in.

#south park #sp #gregory of yardale #sp gregory #south park meta #sometimes you just gotta spend 2k+ words dissecting literally every bit of canonical info about an extremely minor character ya know #and for anyone about to 'um actually' about me neglecting to mention his connection to enjolras #the only concrete evidence i can find about that is on his fandom wiki and there is no source to back it up #like ya it's universally understood by most of his fans but unless u can point to m&t saying that's his inspo i won't include it #christophe's part coming whenever i get around to it... idk when that is but rest assured i will not neglect my favorite boy

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the-sympathetic-villain · 4 years

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The Stowaway’s Heart: Chapter 7

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Description: Virgil is rescued by selkies after being abandoned at sea and brought back to their pod to recover. Virgil’s poor, gay heart may just explode from how attractive they all are.

Word Count: 8012

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of past abuse/neglect, Mentions of past control, Mentions of blood, Brief mention of spiders w/o detail, mentions of past abandonment, false accusations, mentions of blood, hypnosis-like trance, anxiety/panic, sexual innuendo, cuddling (Let me know if I missed anything!)

“I didn’t do what they say I did.” Virgil murmured softly, not looking up from the desk. “I'd never hurt anyone.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Janus eyes darting from side to side, watching the air above him. “I know, Virgil. Why don't you tell me what happened?”

Virgil crossed his arms, going limp in his chair. A familiar wetness fell down his cheeks and raised his wrist to wipe the tears away. “Is this part of the reading?”

“No,” Janus leaned forward off the edge of the bed. “and even if it was, you don't have to tell me anything you don't wish to share. I'm asking you to tell me because I think it would benefit you to tell someone the truth.”

Virgil looked up at him, eyes glistening as the lamplight flickered chaotically in them. Janus returned his ice-cold gaze with a smooth smile and tilted his head so his golden scar glistened in the amber light.

“Perhaps, you would feel more comfortable if I shared my sob story first,” Janus opened his mouth with a dramatic pause, before looking to Virgil with a devilish grin. “Oh, that’s right. You already know my tragic, origin story.”

Chewing his lip, Virgil crossed his arms as he petulantly looked away. “I said I was sorry that they told me—”

“—and I told you it wasn’t your fault.” Janus grinned, standing up off the bed to cross behind Virgil. “In all seriousness, I do not intend to hold the action of your lovers against you.”

Virgil tensed. The feeling of being watched crawled up his neck as Janus circled around him. “Why bring it up then?”

“Because I believe people find it easier to open up when they’re not the only one being vulnerable.” Virgil winced as Janus appeared on his far side. With a subtle flourish of his white pelt, he leaned against the edge of the desk to face Virgil.

Virgil eyed him suspiciously. “You mean it's easier to pry into people’s minds when your being relatable.”

Janus turned his nose up at the thought. “I'm not simply trying to manipulate your emotions so you’ll spill your secrets to me, Virgil.”

“Then why am I here?” Virgil growled, crossing his arms tighter across his chest.

Janus’ smooth expression faltered. He softened his voice, leaning closer. “Because you clearly need help, Virgil.”

Virgil’s eyes flitted up to him cautiously, but he remained silent.

“I don't expect you to give trust I haven't earned. So, let's build some rapport, Virgil.” Janus continued, nonchalantly tipping his head toward Virgil. “You've heard my tragedy. Would you like to hear my love story?”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed in on him in confusion. “Why?”

“My reasons for sharing will become apparent at the end of the story.” Janus grinned, letting the temptation hang over Virgil’s head for a moment before continuing. “I'm not exactly the touchy-feely sharing type like your lovers, so this may be your only opportunity to hear the story of how Roman and I met.”

“Roman?”

Janus' grin widened and Virgil clamped his mouth shut, realizing he'd taken Janus' bait.

“Are you surprised?”

Virgil furrowed his brow, casting his gaze toward the ground as he feigned disinterest. “I don’t know either of you particularly well. Why would I be surprised?”

Janus smiled deviously down at Virgil as lifted his head. He stroked the white fur on shoulder, drawing out the moment as Virgil’s curiosity grew. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you wondered about Roman’s judgment. After all, even if he is my soulmate, he didn't have to settle for someone like me. Even if their pod had abandoned them, any other pod would have taken him in a heartbeat. He could have had his pick of anyone and h

“He came after you?” Virgil leaned forward curiously as he looked up at Janus. “Like how?”

“Yes, he, um—” Janus bit his lip with a fond smile. “You see, there places in the world where selkies meet during certain parts of the year. They meet on the beach and eat, drink—” Janus paused with a subtle smile. “—and mate.”

Virgil grimaced, barely resisting the urge to stick his tongue out in disgust. “And you met Roman at one of these things?”

“No.” Janus stared at the ground bitterly. “I would never have been allowed to participate in such events. I was barely allowed to see members of my own pod, let alone the member of others.”

“Well, that's bullshit.” Virgil watched as Janus tilted his head up with surprise.

Janus stared at him for a long moment and Virgil’s skin started to prickle as Janus' eyes danced over his body. Virgil shrank back into his chair, feeling vulnerable as Janus gaze lifted from his chest to his eyes.

“You actually believe that."

Virgil tightened his arms across his chest as he watched Janus wide-eyed look as he stared over Virgil’s shoulder. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Of course, I do.”

Silence hung over them as Janus' movements stilled. He seemed to ponder Virgil’s words for a moment before returning to his story. He looked to the ground and his voice fell to a whisper. “Roman was at one of these gatherings when he overheard my podmates—my brothers—talking about leaving me behind. They were relieved—” Janus sighed. “—They were relieved to be rid of me.”

“I'm sorry—”

“Roman wasn't sorry. He was furious.” Janus smiled as he spoke. “I'm sure you've noticed he is particularly attached to his family.”

Virgil scoffed. “I think that's an understatement.”

“Well, apparently seeing mine treat me so poorly was quite the trigger for him.” Janus smiled. “He caused quite the scene he realized what my pod had done to me. If it weren't for Remus interceding, he may have actually torn them to shreds.”

Virgil eyed him suspiciously. “I thought you said he wasn't the violent type.”

“Well, to be fair, he didn't actually kill them,” Janus shrugged as a fond smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “and he really isn't prone to violence under normal circumstances.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head in a show of disbelief, but he was finding it difficult to ignore the sweet smile growing on Janus' face as he talked about Roman.

“Roman dragged Remus miles out of their way to find me,” Janus sighed. “They could have done anything, but those fools chose to go after me.”

“What about Logan?” Virgil leaned forward curiously.

Janus glanced up at him with a shrug. “The four of them were only recently forced out on their own without their pod at that point. Patton was only a baby. Someone needed to stay with him and he was still only really used to Logan back then.”

Virgil stared at him curiously. “So that's it? Roman and Remus went and fetched you. You realized you were soulmates and here you are?”

A soft breath from Janus drew Virgil’s attention upward and he blinked, confused. Janus’ eyes were distant and his shoulders slumped as he continued to breath slowly. “It’s never really that simple, is it?”

Virgil watched as Janus drew a deep breath and looked up at him. “I didn’t know Roman was my soulmate until months after they rescued me.”

“What?”

“I was in a bad place, Virgil.” Janus stared down at him seriously. “Years of isolation and neglect had left me raw with emotion and the barest touch nearly caused me to collapse on multiple occasions.”

“I'm sorry.”

Janus didn't look up at Virgil’s attempt to reassure them. “I never questioned that fate wasn’t real until I met Roman. Despite my ability to see the forces of the universe at work around us, it always seemed too cruel to be planned.” Janus paused, looking up at Virgil. “Yet, truly what are the chances that my soulmate happened to be in just the right place at just the right time to save me at a time when I was certain I was going to see the end of my life.”

Virgil looked up at him and the knowing look in Janus' eyes gave him pause.

“I have a theory, Virgil,” Janus mused as he crossed behind Virgil once more. “I don't think that soulmates' psychic connection begins at the first touch. I believe it merely becomes stronger. Whether it is by fate's design or not, I think our soulmate’s can tell when we are in danger of destroying ourselves.”

Virgil tilted his head up to meet Janus' serious gaze. “I didn't exactly lock myself in that cell.”

“Perhaps not,” Janus stopped just behind Virgil’s shoulder. “but you were ready to give up. Even now, you’re struggling to believe that's not what you deserved.”

“Get out of my head.” Virgil muttered bitterly.

“I don’t have to be in your head to see that's true, Virgil.” Janus sighed as he lowered himself on the bed to watch Virgil chewing anxiously on his lip at the desk. “Tell me what's going on, Virgil.”

“I wasn’t even around when it happened.” Virgil dropped his gaze to the ground. “Everyone believed them, but I didn’t touch him.

“It’s okay, Virgil.” Janus watched him carefully. “I believe you.”

“The people I worked for—They were bad. I found out what they were doing and I think they—I think they hurt someone—"

Janus leaned forward, watching as Virgil curled forward in his chair. “Why don't you started from the beginning, Virgil?”

Virgil glanced up at him. He could feel tears welling in his eyes and he frowned as he forced his voice to remain steady. “I grew up in a home for kids who didn’t have any other place to go. It was a miserable place, but I survived. I'd been so close to just aging out when they sold me off. Gods, if only they let me go. I would have been better off on the streets—”

Janus tensed, slowly reaching to pull Virgil’s hands away from where he was tugging anxiously at his own hair. When he spoke his voice had a edge to it that felt sharp enough to cut glass. “The home sold you?”

“They placed me with a family of nobles for a price.” Virgil shrugged. “It worked out for both of them. The home didn't have to pay to take care of me anymore and the family that took me got cheap labor. At the time, even I thought it sounded like a good deal.”

Janus frowned. “You were a child.”

“Barely, and I needed the money to—” Virgil paused, glancing up at Janus suspiciously. “Whatever, I just needed the money and it seemed like a good deal so I agreed to it.”

“But they were awful?”

Virgil nodded slowly.

“Why didn’t you leave, Virgil?”

“I couldn’t. No one else in the city would risk their wrath to hire me. They barely paid me enough to get by, let alone save enough to leave the city,” Virgil paused. “I was trapped. Even when I finally became an adult, I was too indebted to them to ever be allowed to leave.”

Janus sighed. “How are you here then?”

“I stole from them.” Virgil’s voice was numb as he continued to stare down at the ground. “Nothing serious. Just medicine for a friend. I didn’t think they'd even notice.”

Janus glanced down at Virgil trembling at the desk and looked up at him. “You’re safe here, Virgil.”

Virgil ignored him, unable to stop himself from speaking. A weight seemed to lift off his shoulders as the words he'd been holding back fell from his lips. “Honestly, they may not have even noticed. They may have just decided I had outlived my usefulness.” Virgil sighed, looking up at Janus. “Either way, I tried to go back through the servant's quarters that night and there were soldiers waiting at the ready to arrest me.”

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, casually leaning back against the wall with a guarded expression. “For stealing medicine?”

“No. Something else happened that night. There was blood in the hallway.” Virgil bit his lip. “I—I think they killed someone and framed me.”

A long pause hung between them before Janus cautiously broke the silence. “You don’t even know what you’re accused of?”

Virgil stared into the distance, leaning his chair back as he balanced precariously. “Wanted posters were already going up when I hopped on the first ship out of there. I couldn’t afford to wait around and find out.”

Janus stared at them in disbelief. “And then you ended up on that ship?”

Virgil nodded stiffly, crossing his arms and leaning his head down onto the desk. “It's all a blur from there. One of the crew caught me stealing food and they threw me in the brig. The ship was boarded that night—pirates probably. They killed the crew and they clearly didn’t know there was a bounty on my head or they probably would have taken me. As it was, they didn't even bother to kill me before fleeing the ship with their loot. They just left me to rot away.”

“You know I've never gotten to say this without feeling hypocritical but you’ve got some pretty shit luck.” Janus stood up, absently pulling a small, black pouch out of his pocket.

“Janus, I have to know.” Virgil exhaled sharply. “What are you going to tell them?”

“Tell who?”

“Don't play dumb, Janus. What are you going to tell Logan and Remus?” Virgil growled into his arms on the desk. “And Roman, for that matter, since he's made it clear that he’ll rip out my throat for even one false move.”

Virgil glared at him, but Janus merely stared at him, dumbfounded. “Those lovers of yours truly don't share a single brain cell between them—”

“Hey—” Virgil snapped, spinning around. He jolted in shock as he turned and Janus was inches from his face.

“Relax,” Janus’ smooth expression didn’t falter as Virgil bared his teeth at him. “I only mean that, while they were freely divulging unnecessary personal information about my life, they clearly neglected to convey to you the very relevant fact that everything you say here is private, Virgil.”

Virgil blinked. “What?”

“I'm not here to interrogate you and report back to Roman, Virgil.” Janus let out a stiff chuckle. “If posed an actual threat, perhaps —

“I have a bounty on my head—” Virgil snarled at Janus.

“For a crime you didn’t commit,” Janus commented lazily, moving away from Virgil and dropping the black pouch on the desk in front of him. Virgil glanced up at the pouch before looking up at Virgil cautiously. “We’re selkies. Every one of us is worth a fortune, if we were found and captured. Your presence here is not any more of a threat than anyone else’s.”

Virgil’s mouth hung agape with disbelief. “You really aren’t going to tell them?”

“No,” Janus smiled patiently. “though you may consider telling them yourself.”

“I will,” Virgil ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. “I want to tell Logan and Remus—”

“—but you don't trust Roman.” Janus supplied dryly, looking up at him.

Virgil hesitated, hunching down nervously in his chair as Janus walked behind him. “I-I’m sorry, Janus. I know he's your soulmate, but he doesn’t like me—”

“Well dear,” Virgil shivered as Janus finger dragged along his shoulder and his long fingers came to rest at the base of his neck. “That is simply not true.”

“What—” Virgil froze as Janus’ grip tightened on the back of his neck. He shuddered, feeling the strength in Janus’ wrists. Virgil bared his teeth and hissed his next words compliantly in Janus grip. “I'm pretty sure Roman has considered murdering me every time he's seen me.”

Janus leaned over his shoulder with a smirk. “You probably should have considered that before deciding to shove your tongue down his brother’s throat.”

Virgil turned his head up to Janus cautiously. “How do you know—wait, brother?”

Chuckling as Virgil swallowed nervously, Janus nodded. “Now, if you thought he was protective of Logan, you can only imagine how intense he gets regarding his own flesh and blood—”

“Wait, I—I didn't know—" Stiffening, Virgil stared at Janus with wide eyes, feeling his heart speed up in his chest.

Janus chuckled. His demeanor softened as his grip on Virgil loosened. “Relax, Virgil. I'm only teasing you. You’re not in any trouble. In fact, I daresay Roman might actually quite like you.”

Virgil stared blankly at Janus. “What?”

“Don’t get me wrong. There was no lost love for you at first. He would have been glad to leave you to your own devices on that ship, but—” Janus held up a finger as Virgil bit his lip nervously. “—since your incident with our smallest podmate, his opinions of you are no longer so black and white.”

“You mean Patton?” Virgil straightened upright, suddenly curious.

“Roman has a sweet spot for the kid,” Janus nodded slowly. “and you made quite the impression on Patton. He won't stop talking about you.”

Virgil smiled warmly at the thought and shrugged. “Kids tend to like me.”

“You have experience with them?” Janus asked nonchalantly, staring into the space above his head.

Virgil tensed, eyeing Janus suspiciously. “That’s none of your business.”

A tense silence hung between them as Virgil remained silent, but Janus merely smiled, staring into the space around him. “Clearing your mind doesn't change what I see, Virgil. If anything, it makes it eas—”

“Stop.” Virgil hissed. “Logan said you wouldn’t pry into anything I didn’t want you to and this is off limits. Otherwise, I’m ending this conversation.”

Glancing up one last time, Janus forced his gaze down to meet Virgil, ignoring what he was seeing above his head. “Very well. The point of this experience is not for me to make you uncomfortable.”

Virgil watched suspiciously as Janus leaned on the desk.

“Selkie children are often more intuitive than adults,” Janus mused absently as he crossed his arms, staring at the ground. “Personally, I believe it is because their magic is not fully concentrated into their pelt until it changes. They sense danger far quicker than adults. Human children are often similar. Are they not?”

“Sometimes." Virgil cautiously stared at Janus, who seemed suddenly lost in thought.

“Patton had no reservations about you, Virgil. In fact, he would have made more attempts to see more of you, but fortunately the child seems to respect my authority even when he disregards the others.” Janus lifted his head to Virgil with a curious look in his eyes. “Now, what do you think that says about you?”

Virgil hesitated. He looked down, considering Janus words. “It says nothing about me.”

Janus frowned, staring at him intently. “Roman believed you were a threat when Logan brought you here, but Patton’s reaction to you has given him pause. I think, given everything he’s seen of you, he’s beginning to doubt that you are actually a bad person.”

Virgil sighed. “Well, he's wrong.”

“I don't think he is, Virgil.”

Virgil tensed, chin tucked into his chest as he muttered breathlessly. Guilt welled in his chest as his voice trembled. “A good person wouldn’t have hid the fact that there’s a hefty price on my head from the one person who seemed to care if I lived or died on that ship—”

“Oh, please.”

Virgil blinked, looking up at Janus as he interrupted him. “What?”

Janus stared down at him seriously. “Any person with a shred of self-preservation would have recognized that sharing that information could have gotten you killed. You were only trying to survive, so spare me the pitiful display of self-indulgent self-deprecation.”

Virgil stared blankly back at him for a moment, before his eyes darkened once more. “I healed to a point where dying wasn’t an immediate threat days ago. I had no excuse to continue to hide it from them.”

“Oh really?” Janus replied dryly. “If you had been asked to leave, how long do you think you would have survived once we put you on a boat and shipped you off?”

Virgil stared at him quietly.

“Thought so. Your negativity towards yourself will not fly by me unchecked, Virgil.” A compassionate smile spread across Janus’ face as he paused. “You did the best you could, given the situation. No one was significantly at risk for your lies and you are alive.”

“Whatever—” Virgil gritted his teeth and muttered before Janus interrupted him.

“—and you shouldn’t be afraid to tell the people that are supposed to care about you that you’re in trouble—”

“Well, I'm not afraid of them. I'm afraid of Ro—” Virgil spat defensively.

“I will handle Roman.”

“What?” Virgil looked up at him in shock.

Janus stared intently at Virgil. “Roman will not bother you. You have my word that you can tell your lovers without retaliation from him.”

Virgil watched Janus blankly for a moment as he absently picked up the black pouch he set on the desk earlier. He opened his mouth, nearly speechless as he spurted out the only word that came to mind.

“Why?”

Janus glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow at him. “I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

A guarded expression stretched across Janus' face as tumbled the bag in his hands. The light sounds of stones tapping each other filled the silence as Janus stared at the ground. “I know what it's like to be a stranger here, Virgil. The other have known each other for years, and if I hadn't had Roman on my side, I don't think I would have ever gotten comfortable. You deserve that chance as we.” Janus paused with a subtle smirk. “Besides, I rarely meet people with as shit luck as myself, so I’m feeling the need to be generous.”

Virgil couldn't help to small smile that curled on his lip as he stared at the ground. “Well, I appreciate the buffer. If it keeps him from killing me for a few more weeks, I suppose it's worth it.”

“You might also begin considering you may live longer than the next few weeks.” Janus remarked dryly. “It would probably do your heart some good to start believing you’re safe.”

“I'll consider it,” Virgil smirked, eyeing the pouch in Janus’ hand. “if we move this process along.”

“Very well." Janus pulled his pelt off his shoulders, smiling as Virgil eyed the bag suspiciously. “Relax. It doesn't bite. Only I do that.”

Virgil glared at him as Janus playfully bared his sharp teeth at him. “Forgive me for not being a fan of the idea of spilling even more of my secrets to someone I barely know.”

“Oh, don't worry. The time for my questions is over.” Janus smiled coyly. “Now, it's time to see what the universe has planned for you."

Virgil tapped his fingers, anxiously tracking Janus' movements in the corner of his eyes as the selkie pulled his bright, white pelt off his shoulders. “What if I'm not interested in what the universe has to say?”

“Even if you aren’t, I am.” Janus stated dryly. “If something is coming our way, at least one of us should be on the lookout. So, I'm going to ask you to pull the stones anyway.”

“Fine.” Virgil snarled, watching Janus carefully.

“Are you ready?”

“As ready as I'll ever be.” Virgil tensely turned forward.

Virgil listened carefully as Janus stepped forward behind him. The familiar feel of the soft fur being placed on his shoulders sent shivers down his body. A strange tingling trickled down his shoulder as his energy seemed to drain from his body. He felt his eyes begin to close as his body relaxed.

“Wait—” Virgil mumbled tiredly, barely managing to lift his hand in protest. Janus hushed him and he felt a hand rest on his own, stopping his mild resistance.

“You’re safe with me, Virgil.”

Janus' soft whisper faded, one last sound as his vision darkened.

“Alright, my new friend.” Janus whispered, watching Virgil sway as his eyes glazed over. “Let's see what the universe has to say about you.”

Janus dropped the small black pouch on the desk in front of Virgil and stepped back, crossing his arms. “Virgil, please reach into the bag and pull the stones that speak to you out of the bag. Spread them out on the desk however you see fit.”

The disoriented man slowly reached out and dipped his hand into the pouch. Janus absently looked away, staring into the gaslight as he waited for Virgil to stop moving.

A sharp crack sent Janus' head spinning back to Virgil. Janus rushed back to him, frantically looking for injuries. He could see no apparent injury as he swayed back and forth, stones spread on the desk in front of him. Curiously, he turned down to view the spread as waves of energy radiated off then sending shudders down his body.

Spread out on the table were four jet-black stones. Symbols etched in gold on each piece glimmered in the firelight as it flickered chaotically in the gas lamp. His mouth hung open as he found himself staring at the final stone.

“Virgil, what happened?”

The small piece of obsidian was cracked down the center, splitting the gilded symbol down its center.

“The Elder Futhark has spoken,” Janus whispered, tipping his head in reverence to the stones before returning his gaze nervously to Virgil sitting mesmerized in his chair.

A soft, purple haze shifted slowly around the man's body. The gently moving aura was beautiful, but the dark streaks of black radiating from the man's chest unsettled Janus, stark indicators of the battle raging in the man's heart. He glanced down, running a finger along the edge of the broken stone.

“Wunjo, the rune of kinship.” Janus ran his finger over the broken symbol. “You’ve lost someone—or given the situation, perhaps you believe by staying here, you’re giving them up.”

Janus tilted his head up as Virgil groaned. An uncomfortable expression crossed the man's face as he began to shift, resisting the pelt. Janus patiently rested his hand on Virgil’s, whispering quietly. “Relax, my friend. I am not going to pry any further, but I am—I am sorry for your loss.”

Virgil seemed to relax, dipping his head to his chest. Janus’ heart clenched at the sight of wet streaks tracing down Virgil’s face. He gently rubbed his thumb along Virgil’s wrist as he turned back to the stones. “Let's finish this quickly, Virgil. I don't think it's best to leave you in this headspace for too long.”

He turned his eyes to the stones. The first stone in the series caught his eye. “The Dagaz, the rune of awakening.” Janus sighed, staring at the black streaks radiating from Virgil’s chest. “Light and dark struggle for balance within you. You are on the precipice of great change, but only if you choose to let the darkness go. If, not, the guilt you’re feeling may well eat you alive."

Virgil winced, subconsciously recoiling as the black streaks swirled menacingly around his heart. Janus squeezed his hand, smiling at Virgil “It won't be easy, but we'll help you quiet the storm inside your heart.”

“The Dagaz is paired with the Uruz, the rune of survival and endurance.” Janus stared intently at the rune’s stark shape as he ran his fingers over the engraving. “There’s no surprise that Uruz appeared. Surviving is all you've been able to do for the past few weeks.”

“And finally, the Nauthiz,” Janus stared absently at the final rune. The room darkened for a moment as a breeze drifted through the room, nearly blowing out the gas lamp in front of them. “The rune of friction.” He sighed, heart aching as he stared at the dark circles around Virgil’s eyes as his arms hung wearily at his sides. “This conflict isn't over. Your past is going to find you one last time."

A soft squeeze of Virgil’s hand sent shivers down his body. He looked up to see Virgil’s eyes cracked open. Fear flickered in his eyes as he leaned forward. Janus gasped as Virgil collapsed forward. He lunged forward, catching Virgil’s chest with his hand.

“Breathe, Virgil. I've got you."

He quickly slipped an arm under Virgil’s legs and behind his neck. Janus lifted his light frame out of the chair, carrying him to the bed.

“You do not need to fear, Virgil. We’re going to help you survive whatever is coming.” Janus whispered, setting Virgil on the bed next to him. “I'm going to save you some stress and let you forget this, Virgil. Please, let me bear this for you.”

A choked sound escaped Virgil as he leaned into Janus' shoulder, hands tightening on Janus’ shirt. Janus arms curled around him and his eyes glowed a fierce amber as he hovered protectively over Virgil.

“You are safe here.” Janus whispered, a deep magic flowing through his body. “If you trust me, leave these memories with me so you may continue to heal unhindered.”

A sharp gasp escaped him as Virgil relaxed in his arms. “Thank you for your confidence, Virgil. I'm going to take back my pelt now, and waking may be rough, but I'm here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Janus clutched him protectively as he pulled the pelt from Virgil’s shoulders, heart aching as Virgil grasped at his shirt.

“I'm so sorry, Virgil.”

I'm drowning.

Virgil gasped for air, clutching absently at the space around him as he struggled, unable to move. Through his fighting, he could feel air slowly filling his lungs as he squirmed uncomfortably, pulling at the soft fabric in his hands. Slowly, the fear abated as he was able to draw a long breath and started to become aware of his surroundings. He sucked in a sharp breath, looking up.

“Janus?”

The grip around his shoulders loosed as Janus looked down at him with a soft smile. His gilded scar glimmered beautifully as Virgil found himself staring.

“Virg—”

Loud footsteps from the corridor abruptly stopped Janus’ statement in his tracks. They both turned their heads up at the sound of metal creaking to see Remus burst through the door with Logan shortly on his heels. They rushed forward anxiously and their anxious expressions seemed to settle as Virgil looked up at them from where he was curled in Janus' arms. Remus relaxed slightly, locking eyes with Janus.

“Jannie, what happened?”

A shadow of movement at the door caught Virgil’s eye as Roman stepped through the doorway with a sleeping Patton hanging off his shoulder. Roman’s eyes flitted carefully over Janus before turning to stare at Virgil. Feeling the burn of Roman’s eyes, Virgil instinctively pulled back from Janus’ shoulder, swaying as he sat upright.

“The—” Janus looked down as Virgil pulled away from him before tracing his gaze to Roman. Virgil watched Roman’s expression soften as Janus turned to him and a gentle smile spread across his face. Janus paused, hesitating before turning up to Remus to continue. “The reading hit a nerve and waking was a bit uncomfortable for our new friend.”

“I-I’m fine.” Virgil frowned as his voice cracked. He straightened upright, trying to force his breathing to slow as he tried to force the attention off of himself.

“Love, you've been crying.”

Virgil turned to Logan's concerned expression. He flushed red as he reached a hand to his face, feeling wetness on his cheeks. He dipped his head, muttering to Janus as he wiped the tears from his face. “It’s nothing. I told you the universe never has anything good in store for me.”

“Well, perhaps never is rather strong assertion, my dear.”

Virgil tilted his head up to see Remus and Logan watching him sheepishly for a response. Adrenaline jolted through his body as he realized what Logan was implying. “That’s not—No! I’m sorry. You guys are good—so good—”

Remus raised and eyebrow at him with a devious smirk. “Do you hear that, Lolo?”

Virgil turned to Remus as he stumbled over his words. His mustache twitched playfully as he stepped toward Virgil.

“We’re good."

Virgil shivered as he traced Remus' gaze to over to Logan. Logan blinked for a moment before straightening slowly, flashing a sultry grin at Virgil. “Oh, Re. That is simply unacceptable.”

“I know, right?” Virgil tensed with anticipation as Remus abruptly stepped forward, wiggling his eyebrows. “We're a god damn delight.”

“Wait, I didn’t—” Virgil held his hands up in surrender as Remus seductively punctuated his words with steps toward him, barely containing his giggling as he crept forward.

“We're an absolute treat, Re.” Logan smiled coyly as he stalked toward Virgil, his piercing eyes locked onto him. “I think perhaps Virgil needs a reminder of how lucky he is to have both of us.”

“—and I'm out.”

Casting nervous glances at his soulmates as they closed in on him, Virgil reached a hand out as Janus casually pushed himself up off the bed. “Wait, Jan—”

Virgil’s plea was abruptly cut short as Remus’s shoulder connected with his back and his face unceremoniously landed on the soft blanket in front of him. His grunt was muffled as Remus wrapped his hands around his waist. Remus let Virgil roll to his side as he curled around Virgil’s back. Virgil grimaced, letting his hair fall over his hair as he tried to hide his smile. The gentle pressure of Remus' chest pressed against his back was comforting and his breath caught in his throat.

Remus pulled him closer tipping Virgil back until he was almost laying on top of Remus. His gentle breaths on his neck sent pleasant shudders down Virgil’s body. A soft gasp escaped him as Remus cradled his chin into the nook of his shoulder.

Fuck.

Virgil closed his eyes, flushing with embarrassment at his reaction. He groaned, muttering into the blankets as Remus squeezed him. “What are you trying to prove?”

“Oh, gloomy boy.” Remus purred into his ear, giggling as Virgil sucked in a sharp breath as Remus breathed on his neck. Virgil nodded stiffly could almost hear Remus smile as he whispered in his ear. “I'm just the distraction."

Fingertips brushed his cheek and Virgil jolted, his eyes shooting open. Virgil’s heart pounded in his chest as he stared into Logan’s eyes, inches from Virgil’s face. Logan paused, resting his hand on Virgil’s cheek. He waited for Virgil to relax before resting his knee on the edge of the bed as he leaned over Virgil.

Fuck.

“Lo—” Virgil whispered breathlessly closing his eyes as Logan’s lips brushed his own.

“Oh, Lolo.” Remus giggled. “You stole his breath away.”

Logan chuckled as Virgil shivered. He reached his hand around Virgil’s next “Tell me, love. Do you still feel unlucky?”

Virgil swallowed, tasting Logan’s breath. Emotions welled in his chest at his soulmates’ efforts to distract him. He relaxed into Remus, feeling grateful for their gentle attention as he whispered. “No.”

“Good, love.” Logan smiled, leaning back as Virgil leaned into his hand.

“Thank you.” Virgil smiled at Logan as the man stared adoringly down at him. He sighed with relief as he relaxed into his soulmates’ touch.

Remus giggled and Virgil smiled as Remus squeezed tightly around his waist. “If you needed for us to get you all hot and bothered, all you needed to do was ask—”

Virgil tensed at the sound of Roman clearing his throat across the room.

“Do remember there is a child in the room, Remus.” Janus' familiar drawl filled the air. “The last thing any of us need is to have Patton parroting your filthy mouth.”

“Kid's knocked the fuck out—”

“Remus—”

Virgil tensed as Roman's growl filled the air. Logan slowly straightened upright, giving him a clear view of Roman across the chest. Remus pushed himself up allowing Virgil to sit up timidly. He shrank behind Logan as he stared at Patton curled into Roman’s chest. Janus hooked an arm around Roman' waist from behind him, resting his head on Roman’s shoulder as his chest pressed to Roman's back. Virgil could almost smile as the intimidating selkie’s expression softened as he looked over at Janus with adoration.

“Patton’s heard worse coming from you two than me—” Remus pressed, jumping up off the bed.

Janus rolled his eyes as Remus approached. “All of Roman and I's displays of affection in front of Patton have been perfectly tasteful.”

“Yeah,” Remus giggled, leaning close to Janus. “If by tasteful, you mean tasting the inside of Roman's mouth—”

Remus abruptly stopped his mocking as Patton shifted subtly in Roman’s arms. Patton’s soft murmur stopped all movement in the room as he lifted his head. Remus smiled at Roman before leaning close to brush Patton’s hair out of his face. “Hey, Pattoncake. Did you have a good nap?”

Patton nodded tiredly as he absently reached up to grab Roman’s collar.

Roman smiled. “Are you ready to go to bed, my little hero?”

“No, I'm ‘kay.” Patton protested weakly, pushing his head off Roman’s chest as he looked around, blinking wearily.

“I think it's probably best we get you—”

Virgil looked up as Roman gasped loudly.

“Vee!”

Virgil couldn’t help but smirk at Roman’s shocked expression as Patton hung halfway out of his arms, squirming to get down. Roman kneeled, trying to lessen the fall as Patton slipped from his hands. Patton started to bolt forward, only making it a few steps forward before Janus' voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Patton, that wasn't very nice.”

Virgil watched as Patton hesitated, clearly aching to run towards him, but surprisingly he turned and hung his head. “I'm sorry, Jannie."

“Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Roman. He's the one you scared halfway to death when you decided to jump off his chest.” Janus smirked at Roman, who rolled his eyes with a soft smile.

“Sorry, Roro.” Patton kicked his feet at the ground impatiently before looking up at Janus. “Can I go see Vee now?”

Janus raised an eyebrow at him.

“Please?” Patton pleaded, fidgeting with anticipation.

Virgil couldn’t help but shrink back as Roman looked up at him. The expression on his face was unreadable as he stared at Virgil.

“Ask permission before you smother him, Patton. "

Janus smiled as Patton turned, beaming as he bolted over to Virgil. Virgil smiled as Patton approached. He was excited to see the kid again, though he couldn’t seem to keep from nervously glancing up at Roman's intense stare as Patton stopped at the edge of the bed.

“May I come up there?”

Virgil smiled, heart warm at the obvious excitement in his eyes. “You want to sit with me?”

Patton nodded vehemently, leaning his arms over the edge of the bed.

Glancing up at Roman staring at him, he hesitated. He looked to Roman's gaze for permission, but his face remained unreadable. A slight frown formed on Virgil’s face as he turned back to Patton. “Listen, kiddo, maybe not this time, but—”

“It's okay, Virgil.” Janus’ voice drew Virgil’s gaze up. He watched as Roman’s eyes slowly turn to Janus before returning to him, his face unreadable.

“I—”

“If you’re okay with Patton joining you on the bed, I promise you it's fine.” Janus smiled encouragingly at him and Virgil looked to Roman. The man's intense stare continued, but he nodded stiffly at Virgil.

“Okay, kiddo.” Virgil turned to Patton with a nervous smile. “Come on up then.”

He watched as Patton scrambled up the edge of the bed. Excitedly, he slid in next to Virgil, curling underneath his arm as he yawned. “Guess what, Vee?”

Virgil’s skin prickled with awareness as all eyes in the room turned toward him, but he smiled watching Patton cuddle comfortably against his chest. “What?”

“I scared all the spiders away.” Patton muttered quietly.

Virgil smirked. “Oh yeah? How did you do that?”

“I yelled real loud.” Patton yawned again, snuggling into Virgil’s shoulder.

“And that worked?”

“I was smart. I did it at their bed time so they were extra scared,” Patton mumbled, eye drooping. “I made sure to run through the whole tunnel so I got ‘em all.”

“If you’re the spookiest thing in the room, nothing can touch you,” Virgil chuckled. “and it sounds like you've got that mastered, kiddo.”

Patton nodded into his chest, reaching an arm across and mumbled. “I even scared Roro.”

“Running down the halls screaming like a banshee in the middle of the night would chill anyone to the bone, Pat."

Virgil looked up, relaxing at the soft smile on Roman's face as he crossed his arms, watching Patton drifting off on Virgil’s shoulder. He'd almost relaxed when Roman's eyes flicked to him, noticing him staring. Immediately, Virgil dropped his gaze from Roman, feeling his heart beat in his chest.

“I think it's time we take him to bed.” Glancing down at the child snoring lightly under his arm, he nodded, feeling reluctant to let the child go so soon.

“Good. Take him,” Remus cooed. Virgil looked up to see Remus jostle Roman with his shoulder as he grinned wildly down at Virgil. “because we’ve got places to take our boy too.”

Virgil looked up at Remus. “What?”

“Well yeah,” Remus smirked at him. “Lolo and I have something planned for your first night of freedom. You didn't think we were just going to leave you in here again tonight, did you?”

“I mean, I didn’t—” Virgil started before wincing as Roman’s deep growl interrupted him.

“Remus—”

“What, Ro? That was the deal, wasn’t it?” Remus instinctively stepped between him and Virgil. “He jumped through all your hoops. Is he free to go or not?”

Roman held his ground as Remus leered at him, staring Remus down. “Me allowing him to be free to roam the island does not mean you get to ignore the rest of the rules. Where are you planning on going, Remus?”

“We're not going to the beach, Roman.” Logan’s voice was almost timid as he interrupt. “Remus and I are not intending on taking any risks.”

Virgil stared at him in disbelief. His demeanor was uncharacteristically solemn, almost apologetic as he looked up at Roman. Virgil watched as Roman hesitated, looking down at Logan with concern in his eyes.

“Let them go, Roman.”

Roman turned to Janus, staring for a moment before returning his gaze to Remus. “Promise me you’ll stay off the beaches and out of sight.”

“I'm not an idiot—” Remus protested with a snarl.

“Promise me now, Remus, or I'm not allowing it.”

“Chill out.” Remus sighed dramatically, though Virgil couldn't help noticing Remus take a step backwards respectably as he conceded to Roman’s authority. “We're only going to the rocks. We will not leave the tunnels.”

Virgil felt a chill travel up his spine as Roman continued to stare at Remus without blinking.

“I promise, Ro.” Remus grinned reassuringly, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I'm not going to take any chances tonight.”

“Very well. You may go.” Roman’s stern gaze softened and a smile twitched at the corner of his lips. He turned his head, barely concealing his smile with a stern look. “Virgil?”

Virgil jumped at the sound of his name, looking up at Roman. He shivered as Roman turned to him. “Yes?”

“You are free to explore the island.” He paused as Virgil nodded nervously. “However, I expect either Remus or Logan to accompany you—”

Roman paused, holding up a finger as Remus and Logan began to protest. He flashed a stern look at both of them and waited until they settled uneasily before turning back to Virgil. The hair on Virgil’s arms raised as Roman's stern expression landed on him.

“This is for your safety as much as everyone else. There are rules I expect you to follow, if you are to stay here, and Remus and Logan will be responsible for showing you the ropes. Is that agreeable?” He waited for Virgil to nod stiffly before looking to Logan and Remus. “And I will hold both of you responsible, if he breaks them under your watch. Got it?”

Remus growled petulantly but nodded in agreement.

“We accept your terms, Roman.” Logan nodded, compliantly, watching Virgil’s nervous demeanor as he gave Roman his affirmation.

“Once you are on your own, you will be responsible for your own mistakes.” Roman paused as Virgil dropped his gaze to the ground and nodded. “I will not treat you differently than anyone else here, but know that these rules are in place to keep everyone here safe and I do not take transgressions of them lightly.”

Virgil bit his lip and nodded, submissively dropping his gaze.

“And Virgil?”

He lift his head slowly, surprised to see an encouraging smile spread across Roman's face. Virgil blinked in disbelief, looking to Logan and Remus uncertainly before turning back to Roman.

“Please, allow yourself to relax. I'm not your enemy.” Roman smiled as Virgil stared at him blankly. “I know we had a rough start, and I apologize. My personal biases nearly cost you your life and I intend to begin to rectify my mistake by making this transition as easy for you as I can.”

Virgil blinked, nearly speechless with shock. “What?”

Roman paused and started to step forward. He approached slowly, giving Virgil a chance to object as he moved towards him. Smiling gently, he leaned over the bed. Virgil watched him as he slipped his hands under Patton’s arms and lifted the child up to his shoulder. Patton’s hand grasped around Virgil’s shirt for a moment before relaxing as Remus pulled him away. Roman stilled above him for a moment as Patton murmured sleepily into his chest. Virgil found himself staring at the soft look in Roman's eyes as he waited for him to continue.

“I only wanted to keep everyone safe. I'm sorry.” Roman paused, looking up from Patton. “You have a place here, Virgil, if you choose to stay.”

Virgil’s eyes flicked to Janus, but the look of surprise on his face immediately ruled out the possibility of psychic intervention as a result of the spiritually sensitive selkie. He looked back to Roman’s earnest smile, blinking in disbelief that Roman had just apologized to him of his own free will.

“T-thank you.” He managed to mutter, still blinking in shock.

“You’re welcome. Enjoy your night, Virgil.” Roman smiled before glancing at Logan and Remus. “and stay safe. All of you.”

Virgil stared blankly at Roman as he indicated him with the others.

What the fuck just happened?

He shivered and watched as Roman turned away from him, carrying Patton towards the door. Roman nodded for Janus to follow him and the scarred man smirked, rolling his eyes as Roman passed him by. The subtle gold on Janus face glimmered as he gave Virgil a quick nod before taking his cue to follow Roman, leaving Virgil alone with his soulmates.

“Love?”

Virgil took a deep breath, trying to abate the shock in his chest as he looked up to see Logan looking over his shoulder at him at the end of the bed. He watched as Logan held his hand out to Virgil with a cocky smirk.

“Are you ready to see the island, dearest?”

His eyes drifted up to the eager look in Remus' eyes as he stood by the door before turning back to Logan’s confident smile. Virgil smiled, heart light as he nodded and took Logan’s hand. An excited breath caught in his throat as he allowed himself to be pulled off the bed and dragged to the door as they stumbled out into the tunnels.

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binunus · 4 years

Text

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them.

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess.

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you.

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again.

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends!

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !!

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years

Text

hello hello hello! and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural.

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12. I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round. HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance, and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad). Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation. **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?) We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily]

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY

How do you know all that?

DEAN

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY

John Winchester.

DEAN

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME. Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”). The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas. I HATE it here in super hell. Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt. This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines). We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand. That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment? In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment. This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John. That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean. Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument. That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN. We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried. The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone. The part that helped Amara. The part that loves Cas. And that’s why Amara brought her back.

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth -

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean.

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok? Ok. You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people. Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks.

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY

And you took it?

GREGORY

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that. Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing. You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.

#spn #spn meta #spn analysis #spn recaps #season 12x01 #season 12 #supernatural #destiel #dean cas #spn fandom #toni bevell #sorry this is long af #but not really sorry bc its mainly due to the additional pics of Toni bevell #and you need her in your life #myspnmeta

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softsichenghours · 5 years

Text

just like in highschool {n.y}

summary: in which it’s been five years since you’ve seen your highschool sweetheart, nakamoto yuta. that is, until your dreaded highschool reunion.

word count: 4.8k

you sighed as you turned off the engine in the driveway of your best friend’s house. it had been five years since you had been in your hometown, and you weren’t planning on going back anytime soon, until you got the news of your highschool reunion. it had been only five years since you graduated and moved away promptly, but a few of your classmates had put together a reunion. you supposed if you attended this one, you wouldn’t be obliged to attend the rest in years to come.

your parents had since moved out of your hometown, and you would rather stay with your best friend, ellie, instead of staying with distant relatives or in a hotel. but you still found yourself stalling for time by sitting in the parked car and staring at her house. it was the house she grew up in and it was passed down to her when her parents also moved away, so you knew it well.

you knew you had to face the music sometime, so you took a deep breath and grabbed your bag from the backseat before exiting your car. you walked up to her front door and rang the doorbell, hearing excited footsteps scatter to the door.

“y/n!” taeyong said excitedly, pulling you into a bear hug. you couldn’t help but laugh at the same silliness your best friends fiance still had five years since you had last seen him. you got a good look at him when he finally pulled away from you. he had gotten more handsome, which you thought was nearly impossible for taeyong. even in highschool he was a heartthrob, but he had much more of a boyish look back then.

“you’re looking great. come in.” he beamed.

“you are too.” you chuckled, taking a step into their home. it had barely changed since you were younger. “where’s–” before you could finish your thought, you heard a voice yell from upstairs.

“is that y/n?” ellie called. before taeyong could tell her that it was in fact you, she was barrelling down the stairs as fast as her tiny legs could carry her and crushing you in a hug.

“hey, you have to be careful!” taeyong laughed, but she didn’t listen. as soon as she took a step back from you, she was asking you questions at a rapid fire speed.

“why haven’t you come to visit any sooner? how are you doing at your job? is there anyone special yet?” she wiggled her eyebrows with her last question.

“1. i haven’t had the time, 2. it’s good, and 3. no. there’s no one yet.”

“so, who else is still around?” you questioned as you sat around after dinner that night, sipping on your glass of wine. “just you guys?”

“us, jeonghan, nayeon…that’s about it. johnny lives in the town over now, but he’ll be here for the reunion.” taeyong explained, looking at ellie to make sure he didn’t miss anyone.

“yeah, that’s really it…” she sighed.

“oh! and yuta will be here, too. he flies in tomorrow.” taeyong added.

yuta.

“what even goes on with him anymore?” ellie questioned, leaning back on the couch.

“i don’t know, i haven’t talked to the guy since graduation. i don’t think anyone has. he’s a singer, i think.”

“i heard he got divorced from asami recently. like, within the past year.” ellie mentioned.

“really? i thought they would be together forever.” taeyong pondered. you kept out of the conversation, not being able to open your mouth to speak about him.

“no, i followed her on social media, and they didn’t really seem happy.”

“how long were they married?” taeyong raised an eyebrow, finishing the last of his wine.

“gosh, it must’ve been…three years? or it would’ve been three years. they got married when they were around 19.”

ellie must have noticed how quiet you were, and quickly changed the topic. she knew about what went on between you and yuta back in highschool. you wished you had forgotten.

you thought you weren’t ready to face everyone from home, but you definitely weren’t ready to face yuta. that’s why when he walked into the restaurant you were eating at the next night with ellie, taeyong and johnny, you almost choked on your water. you froze, memories coming back to you all at once.

“yuta, over here!” ellie called, waving him over. he seemed different, but so the same as he sauntered over. he even looked different. if you had thought taeyong had gotten more attractive, it was nothing compared to yuta. he had matured a lot, and looked like a man now, not the geeky teenager you knew. you noticed his long hair was dyed red and half of it was tied up in a small bun and that his eyes still looked like they held all the stars in the sky.

as he sat down next to taeyong, his eyes met yours. in that moment, it was like you were both saying a thousand words to each other. in that moment, you both knew.

nakamoto yuta wasn’t satisfied with his life. after his divorce, he felt like a piece of him was missing. maybe it was his ex-wife, asami, maybe it was just her company and love. he tried to fill the hole with his career, playing small shows and writing songs. but at the end of the day, he still came home to an empty apartment. that’s why when he heard about the reunion, he knew he had to go. he wanted to see all his friends from highschool and hopefully reconnect with them. you had crossed his mind many times, but he never expected you to show up. that’s why when his eyes met yours for the first time after five years, he knew.

when you had all finished your meals, johnny was the first to start a conversation.

“so yuta, how’s the singing career going?” he questioned, a slight hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“it’s– going,” he laughed. “i play a few small gigs at bars and local festivals every now and then. i think i have more songs than i’ll ever need.”

“you’ll get your recognition one day, man. just keep at it.” taeyong reassured.

“what about you, y/n? what do you do now?” johnny questioned you next.

“um,” you thought about what you did, working as the senior vice president of an accounting company. “i have an office job.” you chuckled, trying to make a joke.

“boring! isn’t that like watching paint dry?” johnny insulted.

“no, sometimes i actually do the painting.” you replied in a joking matter.

“what happened to the teenager with big dreams of being an artist?” yuta questioned cockily, crossing his arms and leaning back.

“life happened. y’know, some of us are trying to survive and don’t have our heads in the clouds still.” you jeered. everybody fell silent.

“yeah, well, some of us want to be happy, not rich.” he fired back. “and weren’t you the one who told me to pursue this career?”

“o-kay!” taeyong exclaimed before your little argument could grow bigger. “we should get going, it’s getting late.”

you wanted to say you felt bad for lashing out at yuta, but as you lay in bed that night, you knew you were right to stand up for yourself. he hadn’t contacted you in five years, he had no right to talk about your job. as for his, although you had made fun of it, you respected what he did. you hadn’t heard him sing since highschool, but even then, his voice was calming and angelic. you remembered lying under the huge oak tree in your backyard with your head in his lap as he sang sweet melodies to you. things were a lot different back then.

you couldn’t seem to sleep because of the thoughts running through your head, so you sat up and grabbed for your phone and headphones on the nightstand. you quickly searched his name, nakamoto yuta, and searched for his songs. the first one you found, you assumed it to be the most popular, was called sun&moon. you listened as his voice filled your ears again, the lyrics making your mind swirl.

“when my moon rises your sun rises as well under the same sky in this different time our hearts are connected under the same sky

you and i you and i you and i our own secrets you and i you and i you and i we are like one

will i be able to see you again? at the end of this long journey? want to be together in the same time in different places this distorted fate.”

the lyrics reminded you so much of yours and yuta’s relationship. well, it was never a “relationship”, but it was definitely something. you decided to turn off your phone and get back to trying to sleep, neglecting the tears filling in your eyes.

tap, tap, tap.

you almost didn’t hear it over the soft lull of the television and oscillating fan in your room the next night.

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

you furrowed your eyebrows as you watched the tiny pebbles hit the window. when you looked out, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you. yuta stood in the backyard, throwing rocks at your window. just like in highschool, you thought to yourself. he smiled to himself when your face appeared behind the window. you opened it quickly, before sticking your head out.

“what are you doing?” you questioned. it was almost midnight, after all.

“um,” he looked down at the pebbles in his hand. “throwing rocks at your window? come down, please.”

“and why?” you fired back without thinking, not meaning to sound rude.

“because i want to talk to you.” yuta answered simply, a perfect smile appearing on his face. you couldn’t stop your stomach from doing a flip, just like in highschool.

that’s how you ended up on the rooftop of the abandoned gas station on the corner of pine street, a place you commonly hung out at in highschool. the gas station had been closed for over 10 years, and yuta had discovered that the back door was unlocked in your junior year. now that you were here as adults, it felt like all those memories were just a weird fever dream.

you were the first to speak. “i’m sorry for what i said the other night. i never meant to start an argument.”

“it’s fine. i see where you’re coming from. music is the only thing that’s ever made sense to me.” he said, staring down at his feet dangling over the edge of the roof. you were reminded of his song lyrics that were so closely related to your relationship with him.

“i listened to one of your songs.” you mentioned, inhaling sharply.

“really?” he looked at you and smiled. “which one?”

“sun&moon. it’s really nice. the lyrics are beautiful.”

“thank you…i knew you’d like that one.” because it’s about you, yuta wanted to say. “what have you even been up to lately?”

you took a deep breath and looked forward at the town. “not a lot. just working.”

“oh, i see.” he said simply. “that’s tough…i mean-! work is good sometimes!”

“no, you’re right. work shouldn’t be the only thing occupying my life.” you said with a short laugh escaping your lips.

“is it? there’s no one…special, if you know what i mean?” yuta joked, nudging your shoulder with his.

you laughed at what he was implying. “no yuta, there isn’t anybody. a few boyfriends here and there over the last few years but nothing lasting.” you sighed.

yuta was silent for a moment, both of you looking out over the rooftop, both of you wishing it was highschool again when you were–

“i’m sorry to hear you haven’t had luck in that area.” he cut you off from your thoughts. “i guess you heard what happened with me and asami…”

“yeah, ellie told me. i’m really sorry, yuta.” you looked over at him and watched as he smiled with nostalgia.

“it’s okay. it’s what we both wanted. well, i guess we wanted different things in life. she wanted to travel the world and always be on an adventure. i wanted to settle down within the next few years.”

“sadly that’s what ends a lot of relationships at this age.” you chuckled with a bitter tone. you had so much you wanted to talk about with yuta, so much you wanted to ask him. like why did he chose her over you? and why did he act like nothing ever went on between you? but you couldn’t bring it up so soon, he only wanted to have a civilized conversation.

what you and yuta had was like no other relationship you’d ever had. but there was never a label on what you had. you weren’t girlfriend and boyfriend, but you both knew you were lovers. for almost two years you were attached to each other. you did everything a couple would, went on dates, had sleepovers, and showed affection. you were each other’s first, well, everything. first date, first meaningful kiss, first time. you were each other’s first loves. well, you were in love with him. madly, at that.

and you thought he felt the same towards you, but then he started going out with asami right before graduation. you were so heartbroken, you must’ve cried three rivers that night. the only person you ever told about how you were feeling was ellie, so naturally, she knew about how you felt about yuta. you had never gotten to talk to him about it, as you both were so busy then. and after graduation, you went your separate ways to different universities. for years, you wanted to know why he did what he did. but now that he was sitting next to you in such a vulnerable way, you couldn’t seem to talk about it.

yuta couldn’t either.

“hey, y/n, here’s your yearbook.” ellie laughed and tossed the hardcover to where you sat on the couch. you caught it quickly, a confused look on your face.

“wh- how’d you get this?” you questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“when your parents moved out of town, they found it in their attic and knew you’d want it one day, so they gave it to me to hold on to.” she smiled, sitting next to you and opening hers. you turned over the slim book in your hands. truthfully, you had never even looked at it.

“oh my gosh, look how small and awkward everyone was!” she giggled, finding the seniors page.

“i’ve never even looked at mine…” you pondered.

“wait,” she looked up from the pages. “really? not even to look at the autographs?” she asked with disbelief in her voice.

“not even to look at the autographs. i guess i was so heartbroken that i didn’t even want to see them.” you said in a quiet voice. “should i look now?”

“no! i mean, they’ll do autographs at the reunion, so how cool would it be if you looked at it for the first time after that? you’ll see everyone’s original comment and their comment from now!” she suggested excitedly. before you could say anything, she took your yearbook from your hands and stood up. “you’ll get this back at the reunion.”

the night of the reunion crept up on you faster than you wanted it to. you had been excited to see everyone again, but now that you stood by the door waiting to go into the venue they had booked, you couldn’t stop your mind from racing. ellie noticed and laid a hand on your shoulder comfortingly and leaned into you

“don’t worry. you won’t have to see these people ever again after this if you don’t want to.” she whispered. she was right, but it wasn’t just everyone you were nervous to see. the thought of yuta made your hands tremble, as you had decided to talk to him tonight about what he had done.

after a few hours of socializing, yuta had completely slipped your mind. you were talking to some old friends when you noticed his figure slip out the back door. you quickly excused yourself from the conversation and followed after him, grabbing two beers from the bar on the way.

yuta’s head didn’t even turn when you walked out into the cool night air, the metal door slamming behind you.

“hey, you good?” you sat beside him on the step, handing him a beer. he looked over at you and tried to smile, but it was obvious something was weighing him down.

“yeah,” he looked away from you, “i’m good.”

“no you’re not.” you said without missing a beat. “i know you, yuta. something’s on your mind.”

he was quiet for a few seconds, the noise of the party inside filling the silence.

“i’m just feeling a bit…lonely. everyone is in a relationship, or happy with their life at least.” he sighed, running a hand through his thick red hair and taking a sip of his beer.

“not everyone is.” you said without thinking. yuta didn’t say anything. “why did you do what you did to me in highschool?”

“hmm?” he looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “what do you mean?”

“why did you pick asami over me? why did you just start going out with her one day when i was in love with you?”

“y/n…” he sighed.

“no, yuta, i deserve to know. i’ve asked myself those questions everyday for five years, i just want an answer. even if it’s not what i want to hear.” you said, your voice shaky. don’t cry, you had to tell yourself. yuta still stayed silent.

suddenly the door opened, and taeyong poked his head out.

“hey, i thought i’d find you two out here. we’re signing yearbooks now if you want to join.” he smiled. you heaved yourself off the concrete steps and huffed, taking a swig of your beer. you went back in with taeyong, leaving yuta alone outside.

yuta wasn’t ready to go back inside just yet, leaving his mind to wander to what you had brought up. he knew you were hurt over what he did back then, but he didn’t realize that you were still hung up on it. the truth was, he had only started going out with someone else because he knew that after graduation you would have to part ways anyway. he didn’t know if he could make the long distance work and knew we couldn’t handle the breakup because of it. still, he knew he should’ve talked to you about it first.

yuta had been so in love with you, and he wished you knew you weren’t the only hurting. even though he was with asami, it took him a long time to get over you. even though he was with asami for almost four years, he had never felt a love like yours. if he was being honest, he still found himself thinking about you too often. and he would never tell anybody, but he knew he would never find a love like yours again.

the next day rolled around quickly and soon you were packing your barely unpacked suitcase to go home again. your mind and heart were heavy as you thought about leaving your friends again, but as always, life got in the way. you thought about yuta. you knew he was flying home today, too. you hadn’t even gotten to talk to him that much, which you regretted. you didn’t even know why you wanted to.

“hey y/n, here’s your yearbook. you left it downstairs when we came home last night.” ellie spoke from the doorway, making you flinch at her sudden presence. you forced a smile and took the slender book from her hands.

“thanks…” you muttered and almost shoved it in your suitcase until she stopped you.

“are you going to read it this time? aren’t you curious as to what everyone had to say five years ago and today?” ellie urged. you pushed your suitcase out of the way and sat on the edge of the bed, opening the front cover.

“i guess i should, right?” you looked up at her. ellie just smiled like she knew something you didn’t before closing the door again, leaving you to read. had she secretly flipped through your yearbook without you knowing? you didn’t really care at this point. you skimmed through the pages, a small smile forming on your lips as you looked at everyone’s pictures.

right before the autograph page was the senior superlatives page, something else you had forgotten about. you read about the most athletic and the most likely to be famous, none of them sparking interest to you. your eyes fell on a picture of yuta with the caption “biggest flirt”. well, they got that one right. then you spotted a picture of you and yuta that you didn't even know existed, with the caption “most likely to remain highschool sweethearts”. all you could do was chuckle bitterly.

when you turned the page to the autographs, you smiled widely once again. you always tried to be kind and made friends with everyone in highschool, so everyone had something nice to say about you. you must’ve read through twenty “i’ll miss you!”s and “you’re the best!”s, before reading the more sincere ones.

you laughed at what ellie had said about you being her bestfriend forever, even if you didn’t have a choice, and what johnny had said about you being the best lab partner in chemistry for three years. just when you thought you had read all of them, you recognized yuta’s messy writing.

“i think i’m in love with you. -yuta” if that, what he had said in highschool, didn’t make your heart skip a beat, the words directly underneath it in neater handwriting from the night before made it skip two.

“i know i still am. -yuta” the only thought that ran through your mind was that you had to find yuta before he got on that plane.

you drove through the backstreets to the old house where you knew yuta’s parents still lived. you knew the route there like the back of your hand still, like it was just yesterday you were spending your days there, messing around with yuta.

when you pulled into the driveway, your mind was so foggy that you almost forgot to turn off the engine of your car. you ran up the front steps and knocked on the door, hoping someone was home. hoping that someone was yuta.

“y/n dear, how nice to see you!” yuta’s mother beamed, pulling you into a hug.

“hi mrs.nakamoto.” you smiled, catching your breath.

“what brings you here?” she questioned, holding you at arms length to get a good look at you. you looked over her shoulder into the house, memories washing over you. memories of yuta chasing you down the stairs with a pillow in hand when you would have childish pillow fights during your sleepovers, of many bowls of popcorn being burnt in the kitchen, of almost waxing yuta’s eyebrows off in his bathroom, hell, you had even lost your virginity in that house. but now there was no trace of yuta.

“i’m looking for yuta.” you said, looking at her once again. “is he here?” you asked as hope bubbled in your chest.

“oh, i’m sorry. i’m afraid you just missed him, sweetie.” she said, an apologetic look settling on her face. you sighed as all hope dissipated from you. what did you do now? it would be too late if you drove to the airport, and you had to leave soon too. did you just have to accept the fact that you were in love with each other and you wouldn’t be together? it hit you that that was the first time you acknowledged that you were still in love with yuta.

you ran your hands through your hair and looked away from the older woman, trying not to let the tears collect in your eyes. you blinked them back when she spoke.

“is everything alright, dear?” her kind eyes bore into you, the same kind eyes yuta had inherited.

“yeah, everything’s fine.” you forced a smile. “i just wanted to say goodbye.”

“well i’m sure you’ll be back here at the same time again and you’ll get to see him.” she smiled gently.

“you’re right. thanks mrs.nakamoto.” you smiled softly. “i should get going, i have a plane to catch, too.”

you said your goodbyes to her and got back in your car, your heart heavy and crying in your chest. maybe if you had just looked at your yearbook when you got home the night before! there life went, getting in your way again. you collected yourself as best as you could and turned on the engine of your car, getting ready to go back to ellie’s and finish packing.

as you drove down the narrow backroad, you noticed a familiar head of flaming red hair leaning against his car which was pulled over on the side of the road. yuta! you caught his eyes as you pulled over behind him and noticed a grin spring to his face. you quickly got out of the car to talk to him.

“y/n, what are you–?” he started but you cut him off.

“i saw what you wrote in my yearbook.” you smiled, the same feeling of hope building in your chest.

“finally!” he laughed, taking a step closer to you. “so, what about you?”

you took a deep breath, hoping you wouldn’t come off too strong. “i’ve realized that the thing missing in my life that i’ve been wanting, is love. i know this sounds really cheesy and i feel like we’re back in highschool again but these past few days i’ve realized that i can’t stay mad at you for what you did because i’ve never really stopped liking you.” you blurted out.

“i feel that way too! i mean, i tried so hard to stop loving you, but it was hard to. seeing you again just brought it all back to me.” he reciprocated, his wide grin growing even wider.

“listen, yuta. i know life is going to try and keep us apart because when has life ever worked out in our favour?” you paused while he laughed.

“you’re right about that.”

“but i want to be with you and i’m not letting anything keep us apart anymore.” you said confidently, although you were sure your hands were trembling at your sides. yuta leaned down, his hands grasping either side of your face, his lips landing on yours. it felt like fireworks all over again. just like in highschool.

you closed the door to your apartment behind you, stifling a yawn and kicking your heels off. you had had a long day at work and all you wanted was to cuddle up in your bed and sleep for three days. the mouthwatering smell of dinner cooking hit your nose and you smiled softly, knowing what was waiting for you.

“is that you, babe?” yuta’s voice called from the kitchen. you hung up your coat and trudged into the kitchen to see him standing at the stove, preparing whatever meal he had cooked for the both of you.

it had been two months since your highschool reunion. yuta had packed up his life and moved in with you only a few weeks after. since then, your days had been filled with happiness instead of constant work.

you wrapped your arms around his middle and rested your cheek on his back, breathing in his scent and letting your eyes close.

“no, it’s not me.” you replied with a giggle.

“how was your day, munchkin?” he asked softly, putting his hands over yours and removing your arms from him just so he could turn around to see you.

“tiring.” you sighed, looking up at his glowing face. you could tell yuta was a lot happier here, too. “how was yours?”

yuta had started working for a music production company and was excited to make music everyday. you were lucky that he had shorter days than you, because that meant he could be home to greet you when you got back from work everyday.

“my day was amazing.” he smiled, pulling you back into his arms, your head resting on his chest. “let’s have dinner and then go to bed, yeah?” he suggested, a hand rubbing your back soothingly.

“yes please.” you chuckled lazily, your eyes fluttering closed again. you stayed like that for a moment, the way yuta was swaying you gently almost making you fall asleep in his arms.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispered, placing a kiss to the top of your head. yeah, this was definitely what was missing from your life

#i'm back :)#yuta #nakamoto yuta #nct #nct 127 #nct au #highschool reunion au #nct fanfic #fanfiction #yuta fanfiction #yuta fluff #yuta angst #nct fluff #nct angst #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst

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prxttypxrker · 5 years

Text

[secrets: part six]

[part] one two three four five

The more he thought about it, the more he justified his actions. If you went on to becoming friends with his heroic side or something more - which would’ve made things very awkward - then he would be spending at least half of his time worrying about whether you made it home safe or not. However, the friendship was something he couldn’t lose. He only had three people he was close with, especially at school, and you were one of them. Was he really willing to throw it away because of a secret?

When he walked through the doors of the school that morning, he made a beeline for where Michelle’s locker was located. He normally met you at the front before going inside, but after a few minutes of waiting he figured you were already in with MJ. However, you were nowhere in her vicinity. Peter reached her and looked at the girl with an anxious look, causing her to look at him oddly. “What's up with you?”

“Y/N - have you seen her?”

“I have - we walked here together.” MJ stayed silent after that, and the brunette widened his eyes just a bit.

“Are you not going to tell me?”

“Nope.” She closed her locker and readjusted the strap of her bag, giving her friend a sarcastic smile before heading in the opposite direction he was facing. He scrambled to catch up with the pace she was walking, keeping a hold on the straps of his bag until he was right beside the decathlon girl. She didn't even pass him a glance after noticing he was still there, ignoring his presence for as long as she could. Feeling his gaze on her, she sighed and crossed her arms. “Look, she's pretty hurt by whatever you've been doing. So if you want me to tell you, you'd have to fix the problem.”

The brunette boy gave what she said some thought. It was an obvious solution, but not a simple one. If anyone against Spider-Man found out about your connection to him, it would cause more than a distraction. There was a good chance you'd be targeted; possibly kidnapped or injured just to spite him. His conscious just wouldn't allow him to tell you anything, but he knew it had to be done eventually. The fact that the risk of losing you was so high because of a secret was ridiculously... ridiculous? There was a reason heroes kept their identities hidden from everyone around them. Yet Peter couldn't help but think of some supers who had friends or family find them out and ended up being a huge asset to that side of their lives. So with a deep sigh that caused Michelle to raise an eyebrow in his direction, he looked over at her and nodded his head. “I'll fix it.”

•••

It still took longer for him to get anything out of MJ about where you were. Class didn't start for another half hour, so that gave him enough time to get there, tell you who he was talk to you, and hopefully come out being friends without anything else going wrong.

Once Peter made it to your location, he stopped and caught his breath as he stood before the closed door. Through the small window all he could see was an empty chemistry classroom save for your figure hunched over an open textbook and several types of equipment. He didn't move, only started to overthink. Each and every possible scenario that could happen roamed around in his mind as if they were regular memories. You could be in awe or shock. You could love the fact that your friend is a superhero. You could get upset because he didn't tell you and he really did lie during all the incidents that had happened. You could even stop speaking to him as a whole because of how big a secret it was without you even knowing. It all kept him in place and frozen in anxiety.

Any confidence the teenager had faded away in an instant when you noticed the unmoving person on the other side of the door and raised an eyebrow. With a slow wave and confused expression, all he could do was give you the same gesture with a nervous grin to match the way he was feeling. He continued to look between you, the doorknob, and down both ends of the hall before catching a glimpse of you starting to speak. Your voice was muffled, but he was able to hear it well enough to know what you were saying. “Are you coming in or not?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah.” Peter nodded his head, but still didn't move an inch. He tried to build his confidence back up as much as possible, which only confused you as the only thing you saw in that moment was him closing his eyes. With a deep breath on his end and a shrug on yours before you went back to work, he opened the door and walked through, making sure to close it behind him. He made his way over to the desk you were hunched over, not surprised when you didn't make any movements to properly acknowledge him. “So... hi.”

“Hi.” It was silent for a few seconds, but those seconds felt like forever to the boy with another identity. He just wanted to blurt it out, but he knew that with the amount of distance this has caused, it wouldn't help soothe the result of telling you.

“What are you doing?”

You looked up at him. “My grade is still slipping, so Mrs. Simms gave me an independent project.”

His ears perked up at the sound of an opportunity presenting itself to him. Maybe if I help her she'll be more relaxed! Peter moved himself to the other side of the surface so he was right beside you. His eyes scanned the contents of the book. “What do you need to do?”

“Um..” You stared at him while he continued to flip through pages of the section the textbook was open to. It was obvious you weren't too keen on speaking with him, as that seemed to have been the way of the world the past few weeks anyway. Yet here he was, wanting to stay and likely help out despite the weird tension around you two lately. “Just to create something new? I don't know. She seems to think I have this huge potential.”

“You do.” He looked at you, bent over the equipment and chemicals placed around the lab bench. The expression on your face was neutral, but he knew just how much pressure you felt, and it weighed on him. He was part of any stress you were having. From unintentionally neglecting the friendship to showing up as Spider-Man and implying they couldn't be friends to you knowing he was keeping something from you. Not to mention the pair of you were usually science buddies, which was partially why you did so well. Since the internship began, there was no time to study or work on an assignment together outside of class, so there was a fair chance that discouraged you from trying harder on your own.

You chuckled and stood straight, “I'm glad one of us thinks so." Your gaze traveled back to Peter's to find him already looking at you. Despite the drama that's gone on for weeks now, the crush you had on him never went away. However, you were still frustrated with the main issue of things being kept from you even with the several, weird Spider-Man situations going on. “Anyway—what is it that you needed?”

It seemed like you spooked him when his eyes widened, but really he just nearly forgot the actual reason he went looking for you in the first place. “O-oh, yeah. Um. I wanted to talk about what happened on Friday.”

It was quiet for a moment, then— “Okay, so talk.” You moved to another desk and used the surface to pull yourself up so you could sit on it.

Peter turned enough for him to face you fully, the nerves making their appearance again when he realized he was about to expose himself as the neighborhood's hero. There was no easy way to tell someone that you were the guy in red and blue swinging around and shooting spider webs at bad guys. Especially when that someone was important to you. Even with the amount of anxiety the current predicament gave him, he just wanted to get it all out. He took in a large breath, and opened his mouth. “I'm Spider-Man and I really hope you aren't angry but I swear the only reason I didn't tell you was because I wanted you to be safe so I'm really really sorry for everything but please don't hate me.”

The words tumbled out like a tsunami. Somehow you were able to catch each and every word in his rapid vent, and it only made your own breath hitch in your throat. It all made sense to you now. He wasn't just “friends” with the suit clad hero who saved your life, he was that hero. That was why he had Ned try and give the spider boy a bad name at lunch. That was why he was always late to hangouts or missed them entirely. Why he didn't have time for you guys after school. He was off doing brave and heroic things to keep Queens and other cities as safe as he could. Though, it also meant he was the one who came to you that night and—behind the mask—told you you couldn't like him or be friends with him. You even asked him after that night if he knew anything and he denied it when it was clear he was the only choice for how the hero knew that information. He wanted you to be safe, but was it really so dangerous when you were best friends with him?

#marvel #marvel fandom #peter parker #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #hollander #marvel fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #reader insert #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #fanfiction #mcu #peter parker au #tom holland au #fandom

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destiny-smasher · 5 years

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I used to be close friends with one of the composers for Steven Universe. I watched them rise from a YouTube remixer living in a cramped bedroom in a shared apartment with nothing but a mattress on the floor and a keyboard beside it to owning a house, happily married with a whole backyard garden and a cat because they found success working on one of the biggest cartoon shows I’ve known. But they broke off that friendship earlier this year and it’s made my biased love for Steven Universe become very difficult to grasp with. Understanding how and why we weren’t friends anymore was likewise difficult to grasp, even after hours of us trying to hash things out and resolve it. And while we DID resolve things amicably (I hope) and peacefully, it wasn’t until Steven Universe: The Movie that I was really able to feel like I could see the forest from the trees and ‘get’ what happened. This will be a kind of review of the movie, but mostly it became more of a personal ramble relating my real life experiences with Aivi to those of characters within SU, especially the antagonist of the Movie. This is lifted from this Twitter thread, so it was originally written stream of consciousness and I’m sharing it here to keep it more readable and archived. This is a bit of a read so tucking it behind a ‘read more.’

"You keep on turning pages for people who don't care about you And still it takes you ages to see that no one's there Everyone's gone on without you"

Time to finally talk about the #StevenUniverse Movie. Strap in 'cause this gon' get personal.

It should go without saying BUT I am gonna be talking about the movie! Dunno how in detail per se but I can't properly say what I wanna say without diving into some of the important plotty stuff. So yea.

Don't read this thread if ya don't want #spoilers #sumovie

First off, I wanna talk about what this movie does well. Going in, I had heard it was framed like a musical. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that idea, though it wasn't surprising. After all, the 'musical' style episodes tend to resonate quite a lot.

I think they work great when it's one song in a 10 minute episode, but an hour and a half of songs? I wasn't sure how well that would go. Turns out, pretty well. This is due to many factors but primarily the variety of song styles and art styles used throughout. Basically every scene has a primary song that drives it home, and basically all of them have a different genre/tone as well as visual presentation style. A lot of work went into getting it all to work together and feel cohesive. TBH for me personally the main highlight of the movie was honestly the animation. Average TV goers might just see "yup sure looks like a cartoon" but on the whole, on average, the movie is CLEARLY animated and framed with much more dynamism and detail than the majority of SU. Getting to see these characters we've gotten to know over the past few years a couple years in the future, generally at peace with things, but animated with more detail than ever, THAT is the true highlight of the film for me. Naturally, there was a lot of bits of comedy, often relying on knowledge of what the characters have been through, and I felt a lot of bittersweet smiles throughout as this felt like a good send off for Steven and his Space Moms. It managed to work in cameos from basically everyone you'd expect, some of which...didn't work out as well as others (specifically, the Diamonds bookending the movie was a bit forced and weird IMO but they ARE important to the lore even if I find them boring tbh) It was nice getting to 'catch up' with everyone, and the plot itself uses a generic 'gotta save the world again' thing (bleh) in a creative way, at least -- it all becomes an excuse to "re-live" the four primary heroes' stories through song. Cool enough. Something the movie inadvertently highlights, however, is the fact that SU as a series really started spinning its wheels a lot for its second half, in particular. Much has been said about how and why and why or not this doesn't matter, etc. etc. I was just along for the ride. I've repeatedly expressed my personal bias in the series' favor for a long time, and now? I kinda don't really have that personal bias anymore. I still love the show, I still think it's one of the best cartoons I've ever seen. But those rose-tinted glasses are off now. Taking said glasses off and actually listening to and looking up what critics of the show had to say kind of unearthed a bunch of things I had kept sweeping under the rug for the sake of personal bias/support of someone I loved and cared for a lot. We'll get back to that. I say all of this because the movie ironically failed to do much of anything NEW, something the series itself kind of struggled with for a while until it finally got around to the conclusion of Steven's story arc. The film ultimately kind of ends with "yeah Steven can change!" Which, um yea? Obviously. He's a completely different person than he was in S1. But he's kiiiiinda been the same person for....some while now. The weird irony of SU as a series is that about halfway through the narrative, the protag has essentially grown up, done. The last half or third or so of SU's narrative was basically Steven having to cheer everyone around him up and help them deal with their shit, and...kinda just going about that essentially the same way every time. The power of love, the friends we made along the way, etc. To be clear, there's nothing BAD about this, and in fact it's what sets Steven apart from most every other narrative of this type. The protag is almost always forced to change in ways they don't want, do things they don't want to do, etc. But when you put it side by side with something like Avatar or Gravity Falls, those series saw everyone growing alongside each other. There are clear arcs for everyone, almost all of which get resolved in ways fitting each character. It's imperfect but it's varied. SU has a tendency to just...hammer everyone's character flaws and arcs with ONE option: just love yourself and be nice, and everyyyyyyythinggggg 'll work out in the end! Which is fine, but when a story does it for so long, over and over, always the same, it gets a bit weird. I specifically LIKED in the film, at the end, that Steven actually does have to fight, because THAT is what Spinel needed to do. She needed to let out all of that anger, and that violence was her own way of doing it. 'you can't just sing a song to make everything go away' etc. It's typical, perhaps, for protagonists to have to tackle problems in different ways because that's LIFE. The fact is, Steven's approach will NOT save everyone. Lapis stilllll kinda stands as an example of this but an as of yet unresolved one. I liked that at the end of things, Spinel still doesn't come into the same fold as everyone else. Basically "sorry, I already fucked this up too much, I can't really deal with this," and that is IMPORTANT and I really liked it. Before really digging into the personal angle, I want to bring up how fascinating it is that the movie essentially had a real BUDGET and so they deliberately seemed to design an antagonist that would take full advantage of that animation budget. EASILY, by far, Spinel is the most interesting-to-watch antag in the whole series imo, in terms of how she moves and fights, etc. They really just wanted to flex and they did it, but like any SU antag there's (somewhat predictable) motives. This gets back at what I was saying before -- how the series spins its wheels a lot -- but Spinel's motivation/back story isssss kiiiinnndaaaa a lot like many many characters' issues and, like, I get it. We get it. Steven's Mom was Not The Best does that have to be the basis behind kinda EVERYONE who goes against Steven? Or the Gems? Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot all offered more varied motivations, and even THEN, Bismuth was still essentially in the same boat? Anyway, I digress. I DO appreciate the way the series set up Rose as this wondrous lovely lady and has severely dissected and broken that down to the point where I really do not like Rose, in any of her ID's, as a character or a fictional person, and it did so gradually. A lot of what the movie did was kind of expected. Right? Songs, singing, check. Steven going about things the same way, check. Re-living/celebrating how far he and his moms have come, check. What I didn't expect was -- OK, well, there WAS that one fusion...which, um

But the actual thing that really latched onto me was how much I conncted with Spinel. As is the case with any story that has well presented characters, you can attach to SOME part of just about all of them. I associate most closely with Pearl overall but can relate with just about anyone prominent. I see parts of me and Jenny in Steven/Connie, in Ruby/Sapphire, in Peridot/Lapis. I see what kind of woman I might've become in Amethyst (and sometimes am). Spinel, though, is a really weird case because I see my adolescent self in her SO MUCH and yet fairly recent events in my life -- directly tied TO the show itself, mind you -- make that connection weirdly poignant and present. For some context, I used to be good friends with Aivi, one of the musicians who works on the series with their husband. Spring 2018, Aivi and I vocalized to each other that we considered one another one of the closest friends in each other's lives. We're no longer friends. To make sure this is clear, I think Aivi is a wonderful person, and our breaking apart wasn't violent or dramatic or anything, Aivi just...decided they weren't interested in the relationship anymore. And neglected to tell me this until like a year later. The context is of course not at ALL as severe or dramatic as Spinel/Pink, so please don't assume there's some one-to-one there. But OOF are there some harsh similarities and it really made Spinel's backstory sting in a very confusing way. I say 'confusing' because, as I mentioned, I see my adolescent self in Spinel. The way I was going about making friends matches her 'happy' self. The way I acted in my senior year of college matches her 'angry' self. There was no single person that created any of that, though. In high school, I was like Starfire, in college, I tried to nurture that, play to my strengths. I failed miserably. And what I feel is a big part of why is inherently tied to my transitioning (which is, still, something I feel I am failing miserably at). By the end of college I was more like Raven, and there I remained through the duration of my first long-term romance, into a very weird and atypical marriage and breakup, and then I moved to CA and started changing. Fittingly, my current self can't quite ID with any single Teen Titan. I'm not a teen anymore, after all. Throughout a lot of my friendship with Aivi, they really seemed to fixate on comparing me to Pearl. It sometimes made me uncomfortable the particular ways they did, though. I strongly identified with Pearl's flaws and strengths in personality (though we're obviously different people), and so seeing Pearl go through redemption via self-love and self-acceptance meant a lot to me. "It's Over, Isn't It?" I was IN THE ROOM listening to Aivi and their husband work on the chorus to that song. Obviously they couldn't talk about it but I knew damn well what it was about, and anticipated that piece for a long time. Now it's even more weirdly painful. I met Aivi because they made Mario arrangements they put on YouTube and they happened to live a few blocks away when I was subletting my first summer in CA. They seemed very kind and caring and eager to Be Nice and at the time I really needed that at a very vulnerable and fragile time in my life so I latched onto that. -In The Garden- The week when the LiS terfs freaked out on me and that Bad Spinel side of me lashed back, and I found myself suffering from being gaslit and facing the fact that the worst part of myself that Trigon in Raven's mind that Angry Spinel was still THERE was still ME It was too much For the first (and thankfully, only) time in my life, I experienced suicidal thoughts. And Aivi REACTED to that shit. Strongly. In a way no one ever had for me before, ever. They drove across the Bay to my house, picked me up, had me over, and helped me process it. And in the months to come, as I was healing and coming to terms with how That Worst Part of Me That I Wanted to BE RID OF was still THERE and apparently could just fucking show up, through all of that, Aivi helped me work through things, and we really bonded. In retrospect, though, it's SO damned hard for me to tell if Aivi and I became so close because of mutual respect or pity or just conditioned behavior to Be Nice and Keep Up Appearances. I dunno. What I know NOW is that apparently Cost More than I would've thought. I'm not Aivi so I don't want to really dig into 'dirt' (again, Aivi is a great person who works very hard and that's WHY their work is so good) but looking back, it's wild to see their progression into SUCCESS and fame while I just stood by, floundering The thing is, Aivi was a super busy person. We barely got to spend time together -- when we DID, it was a multi-hour affair and apart from like, Jenny, Aivi is prolly the person I've had the deepest, most vulnerable conversations with. They were next to me when I realized 'oh huh I'm maybe trans??' because they were there when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I never ASKED them to be there, to Be So Nice and as it turns out, Being So Nice is harder than it looks. So to kind of loop this back to the movie, I wasn't some Skullgirls Peacock Cuphead grinny goof or anything like that but I AM WILLING to bet that from Aivi's POV the way Happy Spinel acts toward Steven is prolly how I felt in Aivi's life at points, at the least. The irony is that we would go weeks, months, barely interacting. But looking back, the way Aivi talked about things, the same phrase keeps dominating my mind: Aivi got bored of me. I wasn't 'useful' to them anymore. Aivi said that day in spring 2018 was like 'the climax' of our friendship, or something like that. Way they talked about it was like...the finale of a season of TV. Our character arc together was over. Even though we TALKED about it, came to mutual understandimng of The Logic behind Aivi's decision to cut ties, I don't think it ever REALLY made sense to me, how Aivi must've felt about our friendship, until Spinel. By spring of 2019, my role in Aivi's life -- from what they have told me, from what I can perceive -- was more like I existed in a separate space from the rest of their life. I was that one interesting person always waiting in The Garden for them to visit when they felt like it Because while Aivi had gotten BIG, gotten MARRIED, gotten a HOUSE, found legitimate SUCCESS in their creative field I was still poor still stuck in retail still unable to find an audience still unable to understand the pressures of Success And OOOOFFF in those last couple years, interacting became more and more strained for both of us, from opposite ends of things. Aivi had responsibilities, PEOPLE vying for their attention, people wanting to hire them, projects to complete, a house, a spouse, etc etc My life was (and kiiiinda still is?) nothing like that, and as our Mutual Creatives Struggling to MAKE THINGS and Get By transforming into Yep I Am Still Here but you are SUCCESSFUL I think that really put a lot of strain on things I never accepted until Spinel. After Aivi hit it big with SU, in particular, they gradually started...acting differently. Acting in ways that made less and less sense to me. They were a Diamond now. And I was still just what I was. When drawing comparisons to characters on the show, Aivi persistently compared me to Pearl. A fact I once took pride in. They repeatedly compared themself to Garnet. Which...always kind of didn't make sense to me. Aivi wasn't really like Garnet. They are more NOW, though? In the sense of how they act, I suppose. Specifically, one of the last things Aivi said to me was that trying to be friends with me had started feeling like Pearl trying to force Garnet to fuse with her. This was problematic because from my POV nothing of the sort was happening. All I was looking for was occasionally hanging out a few times a year. Like. Ya know. Actually a lot less than what I was looking for with basically all of my other friends. And that was still Too Much? But when I start looking at things like Pink Diamond and Spinel instead of Pearl and Garnet, somehow things make a lot more sense. I was probably too clingy, too exciteable, and what amusement or relief I could provide eventually stopped being useful. Aivi eventually didn't even want to spend time with friends to just...spend time with them. Everything had to have some kind of practical Purpose to it, it had to be contributing to a Goal. I still don't get that, tbh. But I'm also not A Diamond. I'm not Successful. The most responsibility I have right now is fucking hanging up the laundry to dry. I have college loans that have and continue to feel pointless to try and repay. I have severe dental problems I haven't been able to fix. My body fell out of shape because of retail hell, and what energy I’ve had to spare from that always ends up going into the people I love, and trying to keep Making Things. Let's not forget The Complications of coming out and wanting to transition but not possessing the resources to do so. (Aivi was actually super supportive of this btw and was the first person to make me feel comfortable wearing feminine things so yea) Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that MY LIFE is not together. My personality is? I feel like I am finally Myself in terms of mental/emotional stability. And that is largely because Jenny helped me get there. But Aivi helped a lot with that, too. But I think Aivi got to a point where Success was more of a measure of how Grown Up and Healthy one was because despite my behavior, my personality, my mood, what I was asking for, and what I was giving, all changing DRASTICALLY after being with Jenny, I think Aivi still...looked at me the way Pink Diamond looked at Spinel during that song. Like, "yeeeaaaa ok kiddo it's time for me to go now, kinda done here" This is what's so confusing about all of this metaphor/etc. I'm not...like Spinel anymore? My current, post-coming-out self doesn't really relate with Happy OR Angry Spinel. It's almost like Aivi couldn't see me for who I became, and could only see me for who I had been. And maybe that's like why Spinel can't be friends with Steven at the end. It's too painful. I used to take pride in being associated with Pearl because "I'm enough" and "being strong in the REAL way" but now it's more like "oh you just think I'm still hung up and needy and clingy?" which uh don't feel so great a comparison. I can't help but wonder if while working on the movie, Aivi saw some of themself in Pink. Because I'm not the only person who apparently wasn't 'useful' to them anymore. And I'm not saying we should've kept forcing something that wasn't working. Not at all. What we had was good for both us, but it also entailed a lot of patience on my part and effort on theirs. And unlike any of my other long term friends, I often ended up waiting weeks, months, "Happily wondering night after night, Is this how it works? Am I doing it right?"

Years and years of broken friendships, one after the other, most lasting merely 6 months, MAYBE a year at most, with a handful that have lasted since middle school (but which are so much harder to maintain) took a toll on my Adult Self until Jenny, anyway. For quite a long time - the majority of my life, currently - I assumed I just was Too Different and that was why my friendships didn't seem to last, didn't seem to extend to the depths I was looking for. That's perhaps one critical difference between Spinel and I: she's looking for FUN, for smiling faces, for attention, for creating smiles, I just want some fucking consistency. At this point, I'm not even sure WHY I still reach out to people. I don't NEED friendships in that desperate way I used to, back in the Happy/Angry Spinel times. And I've come to terms with that Other Max part of myself and integrated it, accepted it. My worst parts are still me and instead of suppressing them (often by relying on bids of deep friendship with others) I just have to let them EXIST and let them do their thing once in a while. This is ALL why Celeste hit me as hard as it did. Because even if I'm not actually much like Spinel anymore, and Aivi's not really like Pink Diamond, even if I don't actually share much in common with Madeline (other than the subtle 'I drink sometimes to deal with my problems' thing, which I don't anymore) I still comprehend and resonate so much with that concept of just needing to accept the worst parts of yourself and work with them rather than trying to keep them caged up and then they escape and rampage every 5-10 years or so and ruin your life As I felt myself coming to all of these Good Feelings I FINALLY felt like I could help Aivi in the ways they had helped me. That I finally had something to offer I didn't before. Turns out, I didn't, apparently. Aivi had More Important Things to do than visit me in The Garden. And I couldn't blame them. Not a bit. Especially if they had gotten bored of visiting me. I didn't like feeling like a burden on them, either. Can't really argue with that. During the last time we talked, Aivi didn't use the WORDS, didn't literally say them, but I finally could see it: I wasn't Useful anymore. I couldn't Understand, either, because I wasn't Successful. Our friendship was rewarding, but because it required effort. And that effort was still worth it to me, but no longer to them. I was no longer worth it. And despite that, despite starting to feel those hunches, I spent those final months -- as had been the case before, they were afraid to hurt me so avoided actually confronting the problem -- I remained "Happy to listen, Happy to stay Happily watching her drift away" I have no idea if any aspect of our friendship impacted anything Aivi had worked on creatively. TBH Aivi seemed to approach even relationships themselves with more of a logical, pragmatic style -- it was entirely unique compared to anyone I had ever connected with. But if you've read @lis-allwounds then it might not surprise you to know that a lot of what I expressed through Stella and Max, as well as Other Max and Another Stella, channels a lot of these things. I even quoted Aivi directly in the story's end (perhaps foolishly optimistic) And yes, that epilogue moment of sorts is gonna be entirely different if I ever do finish the visual novel. The fact is that we were ALWAYS very different people and our friendship was weird and complicated and hard for one or both of us throughout its, what, 8 year duration? Ironically, I think I took away the opposite 'Character Arc Lesson' they did from all this. But that's just the thing, nothing is permanent for a Human Being. We aren't Gems, we don't actually fuse, we can't just change our appearances when we feel like it, or project ourselves to look how we want to look, or exist for thousands of years. But we DO all have different needs, different ways of understanding those needs, and different ways of needing to adjust or change ourselves or our environments in order to pursue what we want to pursue with the limited time we have here. We tried, hard, and it lasted long enough. If I'm not useful, I'm not useful, I guess? I don't have any ill will toward Aivi, I loved them as a friend and I know they loved me, too, and were better at showing it than most any friends I ever have had. If I'd been better at reciprocating in ways that were actually useful, that would've been good -- but then maybe we wouldn't have become friends in the first place if I hadn't needed 'saving' in the first place, I don't fuckin' know. And I hope my saying all of these things doesn't make anyone think any less of Aivi because your relationship with them is, very likely, not at all personal like mine is. And you know as well as I do how good they are at what they do. Aivi took the time to ease me out of things. Aivi did NOT suddenly up and vanish for thousands of years. While the dynamics of the situation might bare sharp points of similarity, Aivi is not like Pink Diamond and I'm not like Spinel -- not in the present, anyway. Stories help us because they share THREADS with reality but it's always important to recognize those threads for what they are and not confuse them for ropes. And me ranting and tossing all of this out there is something part of me has wanted to do for months but needed to take the time to grieve and process and accept. And maybe it's selfish to be posting all of this, I don't know. But it helps me accept myself and them a lot more. "Finally something finally news about how the story ends" Aivi likely has brand new friends, better ones than me, and I'm willing to bet some of them worked on this movie. And it turned out pretty good, all things considered, probably in part because Aivi was able to focus on it That person I became friends with, she doesn't exist anymore. Just like how who I used to be when Aivi first me, he doesn't exist anymore, either. We both changed, and grew in opposite directions, I guess. We've found happiness and growth and relief in different ways. In the end the Movie helped me come to terms with all of this in a way Angry Spinel younger me couldn't have still hurts yo

"Isn't that lovely?

Isn't that cool?

Isn't that cruel?

And aren't I a fool

to have happily listened,

happy to stay,

happily watching her drift away"

#Steven Universe The Movie #Spinel #Personal #SU #SU Spinel

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legendarymasterwolf · 5 years

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Izuocha Week 2019 Day 6

Prompt: Blush

I’ve decided to use this fic I’ve been working on since last year. Also I've wanted to write about this cute concept for awhile now.

Inko goes to visit Izuku in the hospital after a tough mission and finds out an interesting secret her son has neglected to mention until now.

Set sometime after the Internship Arc.

And awaaaaaaaayyyy we go!

__________________

Inko Midoriya marched through the halls of the hospital. Right now, she was not in the mood to be stopped by anyone. Especially since the reason she was here involved her son.

She'd gotten a call that Izuku had hurt himself again and she had to find out third hand from a hapless All Might. No sooner had she hung up on him when she took the first cab she could get to the hospital.

Why did he put her through this? He wasn't even a pro hero yet and still he got himself hurt, worrying everyone who cared about him. He knew they all worried, so why did he still end up like this?

As she neared the wing his room was on, Inko began to hear someone crying nearby, shaking her from her thoughts. As she neared her son's room, she realized the sound was coming from there.

In front of Izuku's room was a girl about his age in a skintight pink and black suit complete with boots, a collar, and what looked like bracers with handles attached. She was sitting in one of the chairs out front and was sobbing into her hands. Inko thought she looked familiar.

"Um... excuse me?"

The girl quickly wiped her eyes on her sleeves and looked up at Inko. "Yes, ma'am? Sorry, am I being too loud?"

Inko quickly waved her hands, smiling. "Oh no, dear, it's quite alright, I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm just here to see my son." The girl chuckled at this, confusing Inko. "Was it something I said?"

The girl smiled. "The way you said that reminds me of my boyfriend, that's all. He can get really flustered sometimes." She thought for a second, then laughed. "Okay, all the time."

Both women shared a laugh before Inko asked, "I think I've seen you from somewhere before. Maybe on TV?"

This caused the other girl to perk up. "Ah, yeah, I was in the UA Sports Festival."

Inko gasped. "I remember now! You were the girl who went up against Katsuki! That was incredibly brave of you. Ochako Uraraka, right?"

Ochako smiled, blushing. "Yeah, that's right. And thank you, miss." A thought struck her then. "Hold on, are you familiar with Bakugo?"

"Well, he was friends with my son when he was younger...", she began, but stopped at the surprised expression on Ochako's face, "are you alright?"

"I don't think I got your name", the young hero managed to eek out, her cheeks turning redder by the second.

"Oh, right. I'm Inko Midoriya. My son goes to UA. I actually came to see him since he hurt himself again. I think you're in the same class, right?"

Ochako went scarlet and jumped up. "Eh?!"

Now Inko was concerned. "Was it something I said?"

Ochako scratched the back of her head nervously. "About that, Mrs. Midoriya. I'm here to see my boyfriend. He got himself hurt on a mission again. Not seriously, but this happens a lot."

Inko frowned. "And where is he now?"

Ochako gestured a trembling finger to the room behind her. The room Inko had been told Izuku was in. It took her a few seconds to make the connection.

Her eyes widened. "You're Izuku's girlfriend?"

"Yup." The heroine chuckled nervously. "It's a pleasure to meet you in person."

For a moment, Inko did nothing. “So he does have a girlfriend”, she finally managed to say. She lit up and grabbed Ochako’s hand, shaking it rapidly, surprising the brunette. “Oh, wow, it’s great to meet you! You’re adorable! I swear, why did Izuku never tell me he was keeping a beautiful girl like you from his own mother?”

Ochako blushed furiously. “Um, I-I-I don’t know, he’s usually a v-v-very open guy, so he’s probably got a good reason for doing that!”

Fortunately, she was saved from further embarrassment when the doctor came out of Izuku’s room. “He’s awake if you want to talk to him, Miss.”

“Thank you!” Like a bullet, Ochako sped past the doctor and to the still-groggy Izuku’s side. He had taken a beating from a few villains, but it was nothing he wouldn’t recover from. He lit up at the sight of his girlfriend.

“Ochako, I’m so sor-”

“Izuku, before we get into that...well...the thing is...”

Izuku noticed his mother standing behind her, beaming. That was all it took him to realize what had transpired.

“She knows, doesn’t she?” Izuku’s face quickly turned a shade of red that matched Ochako’s.

“Yeah...sorry about that. Still, Izuku, you didn’t tell her about us?!”

“These past few months have been really busy! I tried to get around to it, but...”

He broke off when he noticed his mother tearing up and laughing at the same time. “Mom, are you alright?”

Inko sniffed. “I’m doing great, Izuku. Your girlfriend is a keeper, that’s for sure, and I’m glad you’re doing alright now. I’ll leave you two to talk for now.” She smiled as she closed the door on the blushing couple, and continued to do so as she walked out and Ochako scolded her boyfriend for making her worry again.

Inko, however, was far from worried. She knew her son was in good hands with Ochako Uraraka.

She’d enjoy meeting this girl in the future.

_________________________________

I wanted to write about this for so long, also I need a scene in the manga where Inko meets the rest of 1A, especially Ochako.

Join us tomorrow for the conclusion of Izuocha Week 2019!

Feedback is always appreciated!

Until then!

#izuocha #izuochaweek2019 #izuku midoriya #ochako uraraka #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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cmerysdfyghksj-blog · 6 years

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.･:*:･ﾟ’ twenty-two year old demiboy emery redd was made in brooklyn and attended st. jude’s. he/they still reside in new york, and are currently studying classical piano at mannes school of music and working as a library aide. they are oversized sweaters and a hot cup of tea, old books with creased spines and yellow pages, bright blue eyes behind smudged glasses, fingers like butterflies on a keyboard, anxious hands fidgeting with a decaf cup of coffee. onlookers say they resemble troye sivan.

hello friends! i’m nev n i’m so excited to meet all ur characters n plot with you !! i’m bringing u a tiny soft anxious nerdy baby about whom you can read a bit below ( it’s like……….half bio half intro idk rly just bear w me im tiredt )

trigger warnings for: eating disorder mentions, homophobia

emery was born on the gold coast of australia with a twin brother ( @mvrlcy ) and a younger brother, both of whom managed to capture their parents’ attention more successfully than emery ever did. with marley being a phenomenal dancer and following in their mom’s footsteps and their younger brother being the more masculine son their father had hoped for, emery grew up feeling distanced from his family and not especially important–save of course for marley, who always went out of his way to make sure emery never felt neglected. because of this–and because of a mild-to-severe anxiety disorder as well as burgeoning gender confusion–marley became from a very young age emery’s life support. as children, you would never find emery anywhere that marley was not, and when marley was at his dance classes, emery was typically at home, either reading or practicing piano ( for which he had an incredible affinity, but in which neither of his parents took much interest )

much as marley looked out for emery, em had sneaking suspicions early on of a growing eating disorder in his twin that their parents were not aware of, and in his own soft, anxious way would often try to urge marley to exercise a little less and eat a little more, but has never found it in him to bring it up as a real subject

when he was very young, emery had a stutter as well–he’s grown out of it through a combination of aging and speech therapy, but he’ll still talk a little slower out of anticipation of messing up, and because the anxiety still exists to a large degree, he doesn’t talk much in general. so when he does, it’s something he very much wants to say, and he’s painstaking about trying to articulate things clearly

because he was unable to explore his gender confusion at home for fear of alienating his parents further, it was only once he and marley moved out together that he began experimenting and learning to be more himself. you’ll typically find him in soft, oversized sweaters and a pair of jeans, and although he generally refers to himself using he/him pronouns, they are entirely flexible

he’s relatively nerdy, wears glasses most of the time unless he feels like putting in his contacts, spends a lot of time transcribing piano music and writing some of his own stuff, but mostly learning to play his favorites. he’s in school for classical piano at mannes school of music on a scholarship and the only reason he can afford being here is because he came with when marley’s dance company put him up in a nice apartment

they moved from australia to brooklyn when they were about 13 !

does a tiny bit of photography on the side, mostly doing marley’s photoshoots

does not particularly like the nickname baby redd ( which came as a play on marley’s nickname of little redd ) but will never actually stand up for himself and tell anyone to stop

he got broken up with about a month ago by a bf who was cheating on him with marley but em doesn’t know.........that’s the case. so he’s still very sore about that bc it was his first bf and he’s heartbroken !!!

all in all, em is a very soft, anxious little baby with a warm heart and a great yearning to start living life in a way his anxieties have always kept him from doing

connection ideas

a close-knit group of friends, people emery can be himself around and shed a little bit of his crippling shyness

maybe?? some?? people who are not particularly nice to him?? idk bc he’s rly quiet and weak looking he’d be easy to pick on euyrafghdjs

the bf! who cheated on him w marley! i’ll make this a wc if no one takes it up ✌️

probably a boy he has a lowkey new crush on but will absolutely NOT SAY ANYTHING EVER and just admire from afar and barely be able to talk to him tbh

alternatively someone who has a crush on em but he literally has no idea

would love to have the kind of thing where?? em was friends w someone back in hs but they sort of left him behind after school bc he’s literally so shy and impossible to get to go out

AND in that same vein somebody he wasn’t friends w at all in hs and has become rly close to these days

somebody who’s rly protective over him

hookups of marley’s that em’s rly awkward w when they’re over at the apartment

somebody or somebodies who have mistaken em for marley and tried to make a pass only to realize!! they’ve got the wrong twin

um anything angsty ok hmu to plot w any other!!! ideas!!!!!!

#xointro

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everythingshawnmendes · 7 years

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Roses Part 2 (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

sorry for such a long wait!!

@3naomo3 @sassysweetstories @deanwinchester08 @almightydolans @zipline-mendez @swxxt-pxa @lily–lilac @ajisantisocial @briannareneea985 @sarahdorst @melunicorn77 @escarjorts @firsttimeihadsomethingtolose @beckymendes14

Part 1

“AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLATINUM-SELLING ARTIST FROM CANADA, SINGING HIS NEW SINGLE ROSES WHO IS UP FOR AN AWARD TONIGHT, SHAWN MENDES!”

Y/N stood on the edge of her seat, positively shaking with pride.

Shawn came out on stage and looked directly at her.

“This one’s for you.”

I’m not try'na start a fire, with this flame But I’m worried that your heart might feel the same And I have to be honest with you baby Tell me If I’m wrong, and this is crazy But I got you this rose And I need to know Will you let it die or let it grow? Die or let it go?

It’s not that I don’t care about the love you have It’s not that I don’t want to see you smile But there’s no way that he can feel the same ‘Cause when I think of you my mind goes wild

Y/N swayed to the music but stopped dead in her tracks when she caught on with the lyrics.

The song was ending and Shawn pulled out a single red rose and climbed down into the crowd. He made his way to Y/N and stood in front of her with the rose.

“I got you this rose, and I need to know, will you let it die or let it grow?” he sang softly to her.

“Shawn you’re on in 10.” A Grammy technician waved at him.

Shawn snapped out of his reverie. His hands were moist with sweat and his leg was shaking. He looked around him. He was sitting in a dressing room, on a white couch, and in front of him was a white coffee table that had a cup of water and his guitar on it. He checked the time. It was 9 minutes to when he was supposed to go on. He wiped his forehead. Okay, so he didn’t go on. What he had just envisioned was but a dream. He exhaled heavily in relief. If that happened in real life, he would be in really deep shit. He revised his game plan in his head. He goes on stage, sings his song, plays the piano at the end, then presents the next award. Best Country or something, anyway he had a teleprompter to read. No stupid grand love gesture to Y/N or stupid walking up to her with a rose.

She’s engaged. Shawn swallowed the acrid taste in his throat that he got each time when he thought of her with Luke. He grabbed his chest out of habit, soothing his breathing. It’s weird. If love was a metaphoric thing, why does he feel the pain so physically? He felt it in his abdomen, feeling the muscles rip open and get salted each time he thought of Y/N with Luke.

“Good luck bud.” He heard Andrew say to him.

Weirdly enough, Shawn wasn’t nervous. This may be the biggest event he’s played at, but it didn’t feel that way. The whole Grammy nomination didn’t even seem to have impacted that deeply. Because his mind was somewhere else these days. His mind was somewhere else ever since that visit to Y/N’s parents.

Y/N waited at the edge of her seat, twiddling her engagement ring nervously around her finger. If you looked closely, it was almost like she cared about Shawn’s performance more than he even did. More than her own upcoming wedding.

He got out on stage sat down at the grand piano colored shiny black. He debuted the song, fingers cold and nervously pressing down on the keys. The audience did not notice. He began to sing softly and as he reached the chorus, the stage lit up and his band came out and started accompanying him. He got up to his usual mic stand and did his usual. He tried to put everything he had been feeling these past days in every lyric. His eyes skimmed through the A-List audience full of his idols and stopped until they landed on Y/N who was near tears of pride.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

“And the Grammy goes to…”

Y/N clutched onto Shawn’s hand as if it were the only thing keeping her sitted.

“Oh my god Shawn this is it, you know how many times we talked about this?”

“Y/N, you never know. I’m up against legends.”

“ED SHEERAN!”

They both clapped, Shawn honestly relieved because he would not be able to do an acceptance speech about Roses right in front of Y/N, whom it was about and not mention her. He was also incredibly happy for his friend.

Y/N let her head fall but smiled and cheered, having practiced her gracious loser face many times with Shawn during sleepovers.

In the cab ride home, Y/N had her entire body pressed against the window, fast asleep.

Shawn merely watched her, his gaze flickering between the lights of the asleep city and how they shone onto Y/N’s moonlit skin.

He grabbed her hand. If only this hand was his to grab.

He approached softly and kissed her. First on the forehead, then her cheek, then her lips. He felt her stir and before he knew it, the pair of lips under his were responding to his touch.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open slightly to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She saw a flicker of brown eyes before she closed her eyes again and pretended to sleep.

Shawn drew back to see she was still asleep, he must have imagined her kissing him back. He dropped her hand and stared out his own window.

Y/N peeked through one eye when she felt for sure that Shawn’s body had turned the other way. Deep down, she always knew that there was something between them. Everything they did with each other was so natural, and more than once throughout their friendship had she considered maybe them being more than friends. She never had the gut to admit it to him though, because it was a huge risk, and the price was too heavy. What if he didn’t feel the same? She could not afford to lose the best friend she’s ever had.

She had noticed that he might feel a bit more. He often just stared at her, their hugs were sometimes just a millisecond too long. But they can never. Y/N needed stability and routine in her life. Shawn taking over the whole world, they would not make it. In the end, Y/N felt like their relationship would be doomed, and their wonderful friendship would go down with it. So she stuck as friends. It worked better for the both of them that way.

Plus, she was engaged to Luke. He was beautiful, loyal, grounded. He would be able to give her everything she ever needed. Wanted? Maybe not. But Y/N did not dare open that door in her mind in fear to see cons of her marriage to Luke.

Shawn had read somewhere a beautiful quote. “Maybe we’re not meant to be together right now. Maybe in another life.” He could not remember from where he had picked it up, but decided it wasn’t too shabby of a life-motto. He truly felt that there was never going to be anyone like Y/N, anyone who was a better match for him. Y/N was flawed, as is any other human. But every little flaw, imperfection, perfection, detail made her who she was and that mixed with his own self made their connection irreplaceable. So what if I don’t get her in this life? Shawn thought. I could dedicate this entire life to her and making music and art about her. And maybe in another life, we’ll be together. It was rather tragic, but not all artists live a bubblegum pink La La Land life. He’d rather his art to live on forever than to be recognized when he was alive but forgotten once he was gone.

When the car pulled over at Y/N’s driveway, Shawn woke Y/N up who feigned regaining consciousness. Both neglected the kiss they had. At the doorstep they both stopped.

Normally, they would’ve busted down the door and pigged out in front of the TV. But it was different this time. Everything was different now. Y/N was an engaged woman. Shawn couldn’t just spend the night with her anymore.

“Well.” Y/N broke the silence. “I’m still fucking proud of you.” She smiled.

Shawn smiled.

“I love you.” Y/N said.

They would tell each other that all the time casually. But this particular one wasn’t platonic.

“I love you too Y/N.”

Shawn stared intently at her, while she waited for his next move. He huffed and unclenched his fists.

“Fuck it.”

He pulled her to him and kissed her once again. Y/N kissed back, way more fervently that she had done in the car.

The next morning.

“Fuck.” Shawn said. It was like the worst hangover he ever had, except he hadn’t consumed alcohol, he had consumed Y/N.

“I know.” Y/N said, burying her head in her hands. “How the fuck did we let that happen?”

“I’m so sorry. You’re engaged.”

“It’s not your fault, I reciprocated.”

“Look-“

“Let’s just forget this happened.” Y/N said.

“Yeah.”

“I love you.” Y/N smiled weakly, stroking Shawn’s cheek. “Always will.” Tears filled her eyes. Shawn instinctively pulled her into a hug.

“I’ll always love you Y/N.”

A month later.

A white and gold letter came into Shawn’s mailbox.

The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of

Y/N Y/L/N

to Luke Bryant

The letter proceeded to add date and time, as well as a dress code. Shawn sighed, throwing the letter in the trash but marked the date in his calendar. He was practically Y/N’s male maid of honor, but since there was no actual thing as that, he’d be a mere audience member at the ceremony.

His phone rang.

“Hey Shawn!” Y/N’s voice came through.

“Hi! Just got your invite.”

“Perfect. Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I see you used my suggestion of gold instead of silver.”

“Course I did.” A pause. “So…you’re coming?”

“Wha-of course! Why would I miss my best friend’s wedding?”

“Aw sweet. Well, um I’ll see you then.”

“I mean, you wanna go for a walk or something? I know you love the woods around this time of year.”

“Oh I can’t. Gotta go to Luke’s parents. And um I love you dude, but maybe we shouldn’t see each other before the wedding. You know, just to get rid those tiny feelings we had.”

“Oh right. I thought we agreed to never speak about that night?”

“Right, sorry Shawn. Bye then, for now. I guess.”

The line clicked off painfully awkwardly. It was weird for both of them to not see each other every day and to not have anyone to confide in anymore. Shawn shrugged off the phone call and went to the gym, and trained ten times harder.

The wedding day finally came. Shawn dressed up in a navy suit, looking very sharp indeed. He drove to the address marked on the card and was very surprised to pull up at a church. He always heard Y/N say something about wanting a rustic garden fairy-light wedding.

He got out and joined a couple of friends. Sitting down, Shawn looked around. Everything was minimalistic and white. He hated to admit it, but it was beautiful. The church’s high arched ceiling was decorated with white butterflies, and white petunias. Those must’ve been Luke’s choice, because he knew for a fact Y/N wasn’t a fan of white flowers.

Slowly as everyone turned up, the ceremony began. Luke stood at the altar, dressed in a black three-piece suit. His shoes were so neatly polished, if pointed at a certain angle, they would be able to reflect a beam of light perfectly. He looked happy.

The band began to play, and everyone turned around. First came in the bridesmaids accompanied by the groomsmen, Shawn recognizing a couple of Y/N’s friends. Then walked in Y/N’s little niece with a flower crown and a basket full of rose petals. Those must’ve been Y/N’s choice.

She walked down the aisle happily, decorating it with bright red petals. She waved at Shawn, who has babysitted her numerous times.

The audience rose on their feet as the bridal march came on. Shawn’s stomach was twisted in a tight knot.

Y/N took a deep, deep breath and held onto her dad’s hand. And she walked out.

Y/N emerged and walked slowly down the aisle. She kept her eyes focused on Luke the whole time. She looked happy.

Shawn’s heart stopped. It froze, feeling like his arteries and veins stopped pumping blood. It just laid there in his chest, unable to function.

An angel, that’s what she looked like. What he would give to be looking at her from the altar’s point of view. She had her hair tied up, strands falling beside her cheeks. She had makeup on, a little more than necessary Shawn thought; but that was because Shawn found her mesmerising even with shadows under her eyes and chapped lips.

Y/N dared not to look on both sides in fear of seeing Shawn.

The walk that felt an hour-long ended as she got to the altar.

“Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join this man and woman in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined.”

Shawn shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Y/N held her breath. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw a tall brunet man dressed in a navy suit raise from his chair.

Y/N took her fiancé’s hands in hers and looked up to him. Tears threatened to spill, how happy she was.

“Y/N, do you take this man to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death parts you?”

Y/N answered through a wide smile.

“I do.”

Shawn’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at Y/N.

“Shawn, do you take this woman to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death parts you?”

“I do.” Shawn answered, squeezed Y/N's hands happily.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst

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omfgtrump · 4 years

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The Tale of Two Viruses: Part 11

“Open Sesame” says the Very Stable Genie Genius Don. “Your wish is my command,” reply Republican governors, as they open their states for business, even though none of them have met the administration’s own guidelines for phase one opening up. ( A few Democratic states have opened as well.)

In a move so outrageous and unconscionable, he has not allowed a CDC report to be released that details specifically step by step actions to enable states to open up safely.

The Don believes his only chance for re-election is to return to the economic glory days of his administration (Read that as: the rich got richer ,and the rest…meh?). The problem is he is doing it the wrong way; his delusional nature, coupled with his inability to listen to the facts, will backfire on him. Anyone worth their two cents has made it clear that the only way to steadily and securely bring the economy back is to effectively deal with the health crisis first: more testing, tracking, isolating those exposed, and repeat!

Let’s face the facts, Don.

Businesses opening doesn’t mean customers will patronize them.

The most recent polls show 65% of the country against opening up too soon.

Customer 1: Mr. President, I think I’ll take a pass at getting that ice cream cone or new pair of Levis, as from where I sit it ain’t worth dying for.

As soon as someone goes into a business and there is a Covid infection reported, that business will become a pariah.

Customer 2: Hey, you can’t drag me out my own home and force me to go to the mall.

Customers 3-100: Oh shit, see that store over there, we are never going in that place again no matter how much they clean it.

For businesses to make money, people need money. 33 million people are now unemployed and that probably isn’t the true number because millions have not been able to file, not to mention the workers who have had their pay and hours reduced.

Customers 101-1000: I spent 3 hours in my car waiting for food from a food bank so I don’t think I’ll be buying new tires for my pick-up, Mr. President. And why won’t you increase food stamp allowance? Are you trying to starve us to death?

Fintan O’Toole from the Irish Times wrote: “The country Trump promised to make great again has never in its history seemed so pitiful. Will American prestige ever recover from this shameful incident?”,

Say what about America the Great? Who ya callin pitiful? I am going to makes some calls and round up my posse and we are going to show Ireland what pitiful is. Them is fightin words and America will kick your ass for even thinking that.

But sadly, O’Toole is hauntingly correct.

Fact: In early March South Korea and the U.S. both had the same small amount of cases. As of a few days ago, South Korea had 250 deaths and we have over 70,000. Even if you multiply South Korea’s population by 7 (which would equal the U.S’s population) the total number of deaths would come to about 2,000. How did South Korea achieve this: testing, tracking and isolation of those exposed and repeat! (By the end of April, new cases in South Korea were down to less than 10 a day. In the United States at that time, the pandemic raged at a daily rate of more than 25,000 newly sick.)

So yes, The Don’s response has been pitiful, dreadful and “deadful.”

When asked about the impact of opening up too soon, The Don said:

“Will some people be affected? Yes. Will some people be affected badly? Yes, “but we have to get our country open and we have to get it open soon.

Wow, some will be affected badly. Is that bad like I got an F on a paper? Has it ever crossed your mind to equate bad and dead? Said like the true amoral creature (was going to use the word human) he is. It reminds me of the classic scene in Monty Python’s Holy Grail where the night is having his limbs dismembered one by one and nonchalantly saying: “It’s just a flesh wound”.

youtube

Mr. Bone spurs encouraged Americans to be “warriors.”

How about this Mr. Wartime President: I’ll go in to the mall if you go? I’ll go to work at the meat plants if you go. So? Don’t think so, you pathetic pusillanimous pea-head!

And Mr. President, you would have to wear a mask. “Not for me”, you say.

“I didn’t even wear a mask when I went to the mask factory in Arizona. That’s what a warrior I am.”

That’s true. The Don and his feckless musketeers toured the factory without masks despite signs saying:

Please wear your mask at all times.

However, he did wear goggles, as he thought they were kind of cool. Made him feel like an Olympic swimmer.

Rumor has it that he had this conversation with an aide.

“Have I ever told you about how great a swimmer I was?

“But Mr. President, these are construction site goggles.”

“Nah, I saw Michael Phelps wearing them in the Olympics. How many medals did he win? He’s lucky I became a real estate billionaire or else the record would have been mine.”

“I don’t doubt it Mr. President. You were an amazing athlete. If I recall, the best baseball player in New York during the time of Mickey Mantle.”

“Very impressed you remember that. Come see me later I have a cabinet post for you.”

“Anyway, this mask thing is so silly. Maybe I would consider a Batman mask. Maybe this factory should be making those kind of masks. Make people feel more like warriors when they get out there and restore the economy. Batman is a hero. Maybe I’ll bring that up with the head of the plant. What a genius idea, don’t you think?”

“Like you, he is a man who saves people’s lives. But a couple problems with that kind of mask, sir.”

“What’s that?

“Well, the virus is thought to have come from bats, so wearing a Batman mask might not be the best look.”

“Um, and what’s the second problem?”

“The Batman mask doesn’t cover your nose or mouth.”

“And that’s important?”

“Mr. President, let’s keep this genius idea between you and me for now, as they are waiting for you to continue the tour.”

And to think the tour of the mask factory was accompanied by Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die.” Honestly, you can’t make this shit up.

Reigning in the pandemic is so old news and boring for The Don that he decided to disband the Coronavirus Task Force. After all, we are focused on the economy now, so who needs a bunch of people wasting their time trying to manage a pandemic that is now predicted to take 130,000 lives? We are witnessing what I am calling a genocide of neglect. There is no outrage that more will die; there are no tears. Instead we have a malignant narcissist akin to Hitler himself who is annoyed that people don’t want to go shopping at malls and forcing people to go to work where there is a chance they could die. Hannah Arendt called this The Banality of Evil.

After pronouncing the end of the task, The Don received feedback from some of his people that it might be bad optics to shut it down. Some were saying that people might get the impression that he really didn’t care about people dying, that the virus was just a bug he could just ignore without a plan to get rid of it. So he changed his mind.

“I thought we could wind it down sooner,” Mr. Trump told reporters as he hosted nurses in the Oval Office to sign a proclamation honoring National Nurses Day. “But I had no idea how popular the task force is until actually yesterday. When I started talking about winding it down, I got calls from very respected people saying, ‘I think it would be better to keep it going.’”

Once again, The Don is all about ratings. Like a terrible TV show with a cult following the producers convinced the network to create more episodes. The new iteration may have new characters. Perhaps they will kill off some current cast members. You know, the ones who try to tell the truth. (Watch your back Fauci, there may be poison in your club soda!)

And in a cruel twist in “Survivor,” The Don will continue trying to toss out all of the Affordable Care Act, even as some in his administration, including Attorney General William “Lower the Barr” have privately argued parts of the law should be preserved amid a pandemic.

“We want to terminate health care under Obamacare,” said The Don. Rumor has it that he whispered to an aide : “I don’t care how many people have to die because they lose their healthcare as long as I kill everything that is connected to that black president.”

And on a positive note, Joe Biden is leading The Don by 10% points among older voters. At this point, Hillary was down by 5%. If this disparity continues The Don can’t possibly win his re-election.

The Don didn’t take this news well. He was perplexed that the most vulnerable population might be concerned about his handling of the pandemic. So The Don’s people came up with a strategy.

Standing in the ornate East Room at the White House earlier this month, for instance, Mr. Trump surrounded himself with health officials as he signed a proclamation declaring May to be “Older Americans Month.”

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outta-the-junkyard-angel · 7 years

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walt task 004 ;; interview with the player

Describe your character. How do you see your character in your own eyes and not based off the bio. How have you developed this character into your own?

I see Angel as a complex human being. There are so many sides to her, so many hidden traits that even after four years I still find myself learning new things about her. On one hand, she’s a street smart, independent woman who doesn’t need to rely on anybody else. She’ll figure things out on her own and isn’t afraid to defend herself however she has to. She’s confident in her ability to provide for herself even if the means aren’t necessarily legal. She’s a firecracker. On the other hand, she’s got a lot of insecurities and fears. There are still times in her life when she feels like she’s easily replaceable and that those who claim to care are just a snarky come-back away from leaving for good. There are days when she doesn’t feel good enough. When she’s ashamed of her background despite how strong it made her because she doesn’t have the same advantages as some of her friends. Angel is a sweetheart to those who make it past her walls, to those who dare to see her as more than just a pretty face and she’s incredibly loyal. It’s hard for her to let go of people because she knows how it feels to be let go of.

What’s your favorite thing about your character? What’s your least favorite?

My favorite thing about Angel is definitely her vulnerability. She does her best to hide it and probably only a handful of people have ever seen that side of her but it’s so honest and pure when she lets her walls down completely and opens up to those around her. Those threads always put me on an emotional roller coaster. My least favorite thing about her is probably…how stubborn she is. She does not let go, even when she should. Example. Brett. She knew she should have left a long time ago but unwilling to lose another person in her life, she chose to stick around. Angel had this idea that she needed him, that maybe he could change and that this was where she was meant to be.

What are some of your favorite relationships your character has formed?

Favorite relationships wow wow wow. Okay. So Angel has had five million interactions (that may be a slight exaggeration) and quite a few relationships that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with. I’m gonna start with some characters who are no longer here or maybe are played by different people now. First, we’ll start with Anne’s Dodger. MY BROTP man. Danger was the ultimate reckless friendship but they supported each other through everything, even when they were breaking stuff with bats. He was there for her through her break up with Eric and supported her throughout all of it. Elise’s Dodger is another relationship that I loved. He quickly became one of her best friends and he was one of the few people that have seen her vulnerable side. After years of pining over Scott, she realized that she needed to move on and Dodger was the first person who made her heart skip a beat again, who made her feel safe. Let’s just take a second to talk about JAMES P. SULLIVAN okay? The big brother she always wanted and never had. Their threads gave me LIFE. He was so understanding of all the things she did, and was always there to help pick up the pieces when her life was a mess. Eric. Eric, Eric. Eric. This man. My first OTP at Walt. This relationship, even though I consider it AU now, will always hold such a special place in my heart. He didn’t care where she came from. He didn’t care that she had nothing. She didn’t care that he had money. They loved each other for who they were and we put them through a lot of shit they didn’t deserve…but it was fun. I honestly do love hateships, okay and Jafar was one of the finest. Angel has not gotten along with a single Jafar this RP has had. Not a damn one and I love it. Jafar has always been able to get under her skin and rile her up. It’s amazing. Jafar is amazing. Peter Pan...that little psycho. I loved the messed up relationship they had. Like...Bia...I miss Peter. Come back to us. Come love us. Let’s finish this horrible game.

And now for the current people in her life: Brett. @junkyard-buster Oh my goodness. Brett. Buster. This man. I waited ten million years for somebody to pick him up and I am so glad that Bre did. He was the first man she ever loved and I think part of her is always going to care about him. Even now when she hates his guts, she wants him to see that there is a part of him that’s worth loving. She’s seen it but at the end of the day she hated being treated like a trophy. Scott fucking Lazzari, @s-lazzari ladies and gentlemen. She is so heart-eyed over this boy and it’s funny because she tries to play it off like she’s not. Angel would die for this goofball. She’d stand between him and Brett any day of the week. His arms are home and if something ever happens in the normal verse where she loses him, I honestly don’t know if/how she’ll recover. Now for my girls. Okay, Angel loves the fuck out of Alice @aliddellmimsy and so do I. Their friendship brings me life and I love these sassy blondes. They’re a dynamic duo and one of my all time favorite brotps. Merida Dunbroch. @redwaywardarcher These two never fail to find something to do and I feel like it probably always ends up with somebody getting punched or them running from the cops? They’re reckless, they’re hellions and Angel would fight anyone for Merida. Daphne. @d-blake Angel’s not into the whole clothing and make-up side of being a girl, but she thinks Daphne’s pretty cool.

Has your character changed you in any way? Or do you yourself in yourself in your character?

TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE/NEGLECT, DRUGS, ALCOHOLISM. Read this next section with caution if you are easily triggered by these.

Angel has definitely changed me. Honestly, out of all my characters, Angel is the one that I connect most too. I was never a foster child and I never ran away from home, but my parents were both drug addicts and alcoholics. I was neglected and emotionally abused. I was told that I would never amount to anything, that I would end up alone. I was told that I did an okay job but here’s all the things I messed up. Reading her bio...that broken part of me connected with the broken part of Angel and I knew that I needed to be the one to tell her story. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about her and a lot about myself. We hold on to people longer than we should just because the thought of living without them leaves a pit in our stomach. We pretend everything is fine when everything has spiraled out of control. We love others too much and ourselves not enough. Angel has taught me to be strong...to find the people who actually care and won’t run whenever my darkest side shows. She’s helped me come to terms with the fact that family isn’t always blood. And most importantly, she’s helped me see that even when I’m afraid that I should never be afraid to love.

Do you think your character has had a big impact on Walt? Is it a good impact or bad?

I would like to say she’s had a good impact. To see that others view her as this strong, badass woman really means a lot to the both of us.

Favorite thing your character has done and worst?

My favorite thing would probably be standing up to Brett. It needed to be done because they both needed closure. She needed to close the chapter on that part of her life in order for her to move one. Least favorite thing...Probably letting Scott go for the “space” he claimed he needed. She didn’t fight hard enough.

What is some progress you hope to have with your character in the future?

I’d really like to see her forgive her parents. Like, she claims she doesn’t care but she holds a lot of resentment and I’d really like to see her move past that.

What is one thing you would tell your character?

You are worth it. You don’t see that sometimes. You see yourselves as a placeholder in people’s lives but you aren’t. You deserve to have friendships. You deserve to be loved and to be in love. You deserve to be happy.

What has been your favorite thing about Walt?

Honestly how long I’ve been able to call this place a home. Overall, this place has been a safe place for me and reignited the spark I had for writing.

Has your experience been a positive one?

For the most part...yes. This place has been such a big part of my life. I’ve met some incredible people, shared incredible adventures, laughed so hard that I cried, and cried over threads that held intense emotions. Walt has brought some wonderful friendship into my world and I am beyond thankful. There are times, even recently that I’ve felt on the outskirts but overall, I love all of you dearly.

Got a favorite memory? Share it!

Um...is it bad if I say Brett showing up again? Cause damn that was some good drama.

What are you looking forward to in the future?

I want to see Walt thrive. I want to see it continue to grow and for each member to be welcomed with open arms. Zuley has put a lot of work into this place and so have I. I want Walt to be home for all those who apply.

Have you had a favorite event? Favorite plot?

This scream event omg. I also love Angel if future week.

Favorite Character that’s not your own and why?

I want to start this out by saying that everyone is going to get mentioned. I have seven characters and I split it up because I love all of y’all. So here we go.

@s-lazzari am I biased? Hell yes. But I love Scott with all my heart and SOUL. I love Lady & the Tramp 2. Scamp is one of my favorite characters. He wants to prove that he’s more than just a rich boy, that he’s tough even though underneath it he’s a goofball and a marshmallow.

@junkyard-buster again...biased af. Listen. Brett is a great villain okay. He is calculating and he knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to go after it. I love the development we see him go through in the future thread with Angel.

@voodookingfacilier He’s just so well written. Like...every time I read his replies I get the creeps and I love spooky things so that’s a-okay with me.

@zer0-de-luca I just wanna hug him. Like...honestly. He’s a cutie.

Ideas, shoutouts, requests, dedications, questions?

Again, the love is split up among several characters, so your time is coming, buttercups.

Zulema, where do I even hecking start. Of course I had to put you with Angel’s task because I owe you so much. Angel’s bio brought me to this place but it’s people like you who have kept me here. You have been such a blessing. Thank you for allowing me to text you all in caps because I’m excited about Kentonie or Scangel. Or even just freaking out about something on the dash. You are an incredibly gifted writer and your dedication to those you care about is amazing.

Arlene, GIIIIRL. I absolutely adore you and I hope you remember that always. Writing with you is such a pleasure and shipping with you is always guaranteed to cause me a hurricane of emotion. Getting to know you has been one of the highlights of my time here at Walt. A million hugs to you, lovely!

Jill, loml. you are so freaking talented it kills me. Your responses are spot on. Your characters are flawless and so are you. I am so glad to have had the honor of writing with you and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for Max and Rita, Noelle and Elara , Atlas and Kailey, and Noelle and Henry. I love youuuu!

Bea, you also belong on Angel’s because Angric. You were the first person I had a ship with once I took up RP on Tumblr. Prior to that, I’d only written with people I’d known for a while but the chemistry Angric was was unbelievable. Thank you for suffering with me on the roller coaster of emotions, even though you inflicted most of it (; I’m glad you’re back, boo.

#i'm emotional #watask

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brosura · 7 years

Text

memento mori (the curious case of the baker on baker st.) pt. 4/4

Word Count: 4629 Rating: T probably Pairings: Prompto Argentum x Ignis Scientia Warnings: minor character death, major character death (VERY temporary), alcohol consumption, survivor’s guilt, mentions of child abuse/neglect

“Ignis Scientia, young baker and private investigator’s assistant, has a peculiar gift. With a touch, he can bring the dead back to life.”

AKA the promnis pushing da*sies au no one asked for

in the final chapter, four rowdy boys and a good dog do a stake-out

big thanks to @danielkesslers for the quick read n check!

[start with part I here] [read part II here] [read part III here] [fic on ao3]

“This isn’t our old neighborhood,” Ignis observes, as they all pull up to the Hammerhead garage in Gladio’s little electric car.

The facts are these.

The Hammerhead garage, owned by a certain Cid Sophiar, is housed in the remnants of an old small aircraft hangar. For years, local elitists in the community have insisted that the giant hammerhead shark - a grand old thing Cid had built on top of the garage as soon as he’d come across enough scrap metal - be removed to avoid lowering property values. And for years, Cid Sophiar has told them, in no uncertain terms, to “shove off, ya nasty city rats.”

At any rate, it’s become something of an establishment for car people and mechanics alike, and it’s garnered the reputation as the place in town to go for a tune-up or an upgrade. That’s what had drawn a young Prompto in after he’d taken his father’s car into the shop for him. What had prompted him to take his first and last job as an apprentice to the head mechanic in the shop.

“Y-yeah,” Prompto stutters. Basil is sitting in his lap, a pre-emptive measure since they’ll be keeping each other company while Ignis, Gladio and Noctis talk to Prompto’s old co-workers. “I sort of listed my boss in my emergency contacts? I don’t know, I didn’t really want my parents to know where I was going, and I was worried the company would send them mail, so I put my workplace as my permanent address.”

“Makes sense,” Noctis says. He’s been a remarkably calming presence in all this, and an excellent sport to sit through a murder investigation that he had no reason to be invested in. Ignis owes him as many tarts as he wants.

“Um,” Prompto starts, bouncing a leg nervously as they all move to exit the vehicle. Basil’s tongue flops erratically out of her mouth. “Could you guys like, send a signal or something? If they’re ok?”

“I’ll leave my phone with you,” Noctis says, already removing it from his pocket. “Ignis’ll text you with an update.”

Prompto gives him a grateful nod and a nervous little smile as he takes the phone, then they’re heading out of the car and pushing open the front doors to the garage.

“So,” Noctis draws out the syllable in the buzzing silence of the lobby. “What happens if the murderer is like… there.”

“Let me worry about that,” Gladio says, rolling his shoulders. “Just try not to get in the way.”

“Of what?” Ignis snorts. “Your ego?”

“Nice try, Ignis.” He sends him a cocksure grin. “You don’t see the take-down so I don’t blame you, but I’ve wrestled my fair share of perps. Guy coming from behind? Plastic bag? Not a lot of confidence there. I’m sure I could beat him hand to hand.”

“Oh man,” Noctis deadpans. “Ignis, let’s get out of the way. It’s his ego.”

“Very funny,” Gladio says with a roll of his eyes.

“Well, what’s the joke?” comes a high-pitched and smooth voice in a southern drawl as a young woman steps behind the counter with a friendly smile.

Ignis instantly recognizes her as the young woman from the funeral. Only this time, instead of her Sunday Best, she’s wearing a set of coveralls that are zipped down to the waist, fastened there with a knot tied with her sleeves. And she’s covered in grease, even the t-shirt underneath the coveralls and her baseball cap weren’t spared. Even so, she’s very pretty, so Ignis isn’t surprised when Noctis balks and shrinks subtly behind him. He never was good at meeting new people, much less new attractive people.

But Gladio has no such qualms. He’s leaning over the counter like he’s an old friend, all charm. “Nothing worth repeating, ma’am.”

“Aw, shucks. Ain’t no need for all that fancy business. You can call me Cindy, darlin’.” She gives them a wink. Ignis can feel Noct’s panic rising behind him. “What can I do for you boys today? Something with your car need fixin’?”

“No car trouble today, Cindy.” Gladio says with an amicable smile. “My name’s Gladio, and I’m actually a private investigator. These two are my, ah, assistants. We’re currently looking into the death of a Prompto Argentum.” The name scarcely leaves Gladio’s mouth before Cindy’s entire face falls. “Take it you knew him?”

“Yeah,” Cindy says, taking off her cap to run a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I knew him.”

“Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?” Gladio asks, gentle. He waits for Cindy to nod before continuing. “He listed this garage as his last workplace, and we were hoping to speak to his boss. That you?”

“Not exactly.” Cindy bites her lip, looking thoughtful. It occurs to Ignis that Prompto might have picked up the habit from her. “Look boys, why don’t you come to the back with me? I reckon whatever I can’t answer, Paw Paw’ll be able to. He runs the place.”

She gestures for them to follow her behind a closed door, then winces as if remembering something. “Just- Just let me do the talking first, alright?”

“Is he mean?” Noctis whispers, looking nervous. “Ask Prompto if he’s mean.”

Cindy ok. Ignis texts, dutifully. Is boss mean?

Very mean. Prompto responds. Then there’s a picture of Basil. For support.

“Yeah, I knew Prompto.” Cid says with that southern drawl, sipping lazily at a cup of coffee that they’d all seen him pour whiskey into. If he wasn’t sure before, Ignis knows now that it’s Cid and Cindy that gave Prompto the habit of switching to the accent. “One of my older staff, quick with his hands. For a smart kid, he sure was a real idiot.”

“Paw Paw,” Cindy hisses. She gives them an apologetic look. “Paw Paw took him on as an apprentice when he was just a little thing. Couldn’t have been more than seventeen. He didn’t talk about it much, but we knew his parents didn’t pay him much mind, so we tried to make him feel like he was family here.” She sighs. “He was a real sweet thing. Didn’t deserve to go the way he did.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Gladio says with a cold detachment that might have seemed professional if Ignis didn’t know that it was merely a product of the ‘real sweet thing’ in question currently sitting in his car with a very small dog. He leans forward, fingers steepled over his own mug, filled with only coffee. “We’ll try to get out of your hair as soon as possible, but could you answer a few of our questions?”

“Shoot.” Cid gives them a half-hearted wave and takes another long sip from the mug.

“Right, could you tell us if you noticed anything strange about Prompto before the trip? Like, was he behaving strangely or was someone asking questions about him?”

“Can’t say I did,” Cindy answers. “He’d been jittery to be sure, but he seemed more excited than anything. Wanted to know what it was like to travel and all that, but Paw Paw and I don’t leave the garage much ourselves.”

“And he didn’t have a stalker or nothin’, if that’s what you’re asking,” Cid grumbles. “Real shy boy, stayed out of the spotlight. Took years for him to warm to me and Cindy. Woulda noticed if someone came round askin’ for him. Hell, half this garage woulda noticed.”

“Alright,” Gladio says after a pause. He’s making a show of jotting down notes, but from Ignis’ perspective, he can tell they’re just chicken scratches. “How about after the trip? Anything strange happen around the garage recently? Anyone acting strangely?”

Cindy purses her lips. “Hm, couldn’t say. Why do you ask?”

“We’re just pursuing the possibility that the murderer might have been personally connected to him.”

“Well, you can quit pursuin’,” Cid says with finality. “I know my people, none of them would do anything as sinister as you’re implying, city slicker.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Gladio smirks. “Last question, and we’ll be on our way. I understand he’d listed you as his place of residence, and the cruise ship might have sent you his personal effects.”

“Yeah,” Cindy sighs. “Yeah, we got ‘em.”

Gladio leans forward, grin almost predatory. “Mind if we take a look?”

“Well,” Noctis chuckles. “Those are definitely tonberries.”

“That they are,” Ignis says, turning the tacky plastic tonberry around in his hand. They’re heavy, but he’s not sure if it’s real or the imagined weight of knowing Prompto lost his life for these little things.

“So, what do we do now?” Noctis asks, fiddling with his own tonberry.

“We leave them,” Gladio says.

“Excuse me?” Ignis finds he can’t sound affronted enough. “Are you suggesting we continue to put Prompto’s friends, his family by the sounds of it, at risk?”

“They’re at risk whether or not we take the things,” Gladio growls, crossing his arms. “The guy probably went through Dino’s papers and came to the same conclusion as us. The fact that Cid and Cindy haven’t noticed anything says he just hasn’t acted yet. We take them and he gets here and can’t find them? Doesn’t look good for Cid and Cindy.”

Cid and Cindy who, they’d since learned, lived in a small attachment off the side of the garage. Loathe as he is to admit it, Gladio does have a point.

“So what?” Noctis asks for the both of them. “We just let him take them?”

“We leave them,” Gladio explains, poking a tonberry at them in a way that might have looked dramatic and inspired if it weren’t for the fact that it was a tonberry. “And then we wait.”

The facts are these.

Ignis Scientia - twenty-two years, six months, three weeks and five days old, veteran baker, practiced private investigator’s assistant and novice stake-out participant - wishes he’d charged his cell phone.

There’s only so much tenseness stretched between the silences he can take, after all. And with Noctis and Gladio on the other side of the garage - Noctis had split up the groups with a sly look to Ignis - there’s no one else to direct his attention towards.

Well, there’s Basil. But Basil - at a scant 5.5 pounds - is too light to disturb the eggshells they’re currently treading on, and she walks between Ignis and Prompto’s laps in Gladio’s car unaffected.

“So,” Prompto finally says. “Wanna, er, wanna talk about it?”

“About what?”

“The ‘it’s not an unfamiliar feeling’ thing,” Prompto explains. He switches into an exaggeration of Ignis’ accent for part of it, and Ignis finds himself equal parts charmed and offended. “Wanna talk about it?”

It’s not something Ignis was prepared to talk about, he’d been able to put off the memory of his mother and Prompto’s father for this far. But, he can’t lie to Prompto, not anymore. Still, he’s afraid to use the details. “I made a mistake when I was younger, when I first learned about my powers. I lost people who were very dear to me and I knew it was all my fault. I thought I was a monster, that I didn’t deserve anyone’s kindness. If Noctis hadn’t been a nosy little boy so intent on befriending me, I’m not certain where I’d be today, to be honest.”

Prompto lets out a hum, curling up in the seat to hug Basil, who has settled in his lap.

“You’re not,” he says after some time. His fingers curl and uncurl in Basil’s fur, who pants obligingly. “You’re not some monster. You know that, right?”

“Some days more than others,” Ignis admits with a rueful smile.

Prompto frowns. “I mean, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I know I kind of yelled at you.”

“You were right to. Even it was a lie of omission, I still lied to you and I kept making excuses to lie to you. You deserved to know the complete circumstances of your, er, revival.”

“Yeah, yeah I mean you’re right about that, but I didn’t have to say all that shit about not wanting to talk to you.” Prompto turns to give him a bashful little smile. “To be honest, I was really overwhelmed and I just didn’t want you to see me cry. That would have been really uncool.”

“I understand the desire for privacy, but rest assured I think crying’s a perfectly natural response. Had our positions been reversed, I would have cried at the outset,” Ignis reassures.

“Well, yeah maybe, but you’ve got that perfectly chiseled face and all that,” Prompto says. Ignis waits for him to stutter and blush, but he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps going. “Hell, you probably look great when you cry! All dramatic and noble. Totally unfair, because I just get all red and splotchy. It’s very unattractive.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I want to see you cry anytime soon.” Ignis laughs. “But I think you’re perfectly attractive, no matter the situation.”

Prompto scrunches his nose. “There’s a word for that. Starts with an N.”

“Are you suggesting I’m a necrophile?”

“Yeah, that. And I mean, you are flirting with a dead guy,” Prompto says, but he’s smiling as he says it.

And it’s that warm, longing smile Ignis didn’t think he’d see again, one that pulls at Ignis’ own lips until he’s smiling in return. Suddenly they’re both children again, back in that tree at sunset. Only this time, Prompto is looking at him with the same wonder that must have been written on Ignis’ face that day. Ignis wishes this was some fantasy land, he wishes he could lean in the way he wants, give Prompto a kiss the way he wants.

But once again, Ignis’ wish wasn’t granted. This wasn’t a fantasy land. It was a stake-out.

And they’d just missed their murderer.

The facts were these.

The man that breaks into Hammerhead in the dead of night has made a substantial name for himself by having no one know his name. He’s mysterious, dresses in all black, takes cash only, and was promised a very hefty sum from one Izunia, A. for retrieving a pair of plastic tonberries. Extreme sentimental value, he’d been told.

This has resulted in more murders than he’d initially planned, but he’s not one to complain. The plastic bags that rest in his back pocket are the closest thing he has to a signature, and it’s unfair that he’s so rarely appreciated for his work.

It seems there’s no need for his special methods today, though, because he makes it through the garage undetected. After a moment of searching, he finds the tonberries in a suitcase next to the familiar camera of the boy he’d murdered on the cruise ship. Secretly, he’s glad it seems intact. It would have been a shame to break such a nice camera.

He’s just congratulating himself on a job well done after no end of inconveniences when a flashlight draws his attention.

“Put the tonberries down,” a gruff voice whispers.

He does not put the tonberries down.

No, he throws the closest article of clothing he can find from the suitcase at the shine of the flashlight and runs. He can hear a muffled curse as the gruff-voiced man makes chase, but neither of them make it very far before he’s colliding with two more people.

“-mpto!” comes an alarmed cry, but he pays it no mind as he catches the smaller one around the throat. For now, at the very least, the body in front of him will shield him if his pursuers have guns and value their friends.

“Don’t move!” he growls, fumbling in his pocket for his knife, but as he fumbles, he finds himself crinkling the plastic bag on accident.

“Oh, fuck no,” his hostage growls. “Not again.”

Then he’s being flipped, dropped ignobly on the ground for someone as professional as him. This won’t do, naturally, so he grabs his hostage-turned-assailant’s hand and kicks at his midsection, flipping him in turn onto the ground and pinning him there by his throat.

In the dim light of the garage, he just makes out the face of the man, only to find it eerily, eerily familiar.

“Didn’t I kill you?” he asks, incredulous.

But that’s all he gets to ask because the lights flicker on to reveal the scene. There’s him, the nameless man on an errand from a mysterious Izunia, A. halfway through strangling what should have been a dead man on the ground. And then there’s three men frozen in place and scattered about the room, each looking on with some kind of horror at the man in the doorway.

And then there’s the man in the doorway.

“Oughtta read the sign, boys,” Cid Sophiar says, cocking his gun. “We’re closed.”

And that is how Cid Sophiar, age sixty-two, shoots Prompto’s would-be second time killer dead in the Hammerhead Garage.

“You sure your friend is ok?” Cid grumbles, pouring more whiskey into his whiskey. “Looked to be in a real bad situation when I walked in.”

They’re all sat in the office that Gladio had questioned Cid and Cindy in, trying to ignore the dead body in the other room, evidence that their stake-out had been... too active.

Distantly, they can hear Basil barking from the car that Ignis and Prompto had fled from in haste when they’d seen Gladio’s shaky flashlight signal from the opposite side of the garage before they’d walked directly into a short-lived hostage situation.

By some miracle, Prompto had the sense to look away when Cid had turned the lights on, and Noctis had the foresight to grab one of the shirts from Prompto’s suitcase and throw it over his face when their culprit rolled, lifeless, off his body.

“He’s fine, sir,” Ignis says, as Prompto - t-shirt wrapped around his head- frantically gestures with his hands a message that he must hope comes off as ‘Yeah, really fine!’ “He’s, ah, he’s just very shy to be seen by other people. This whole experience was very...trying, as you can imagine.”

“I can imagine just fine,” Cid says with a laugh, seeming more charmed than anything by Prompto’s strange behavior. “That big old boy was lookin’ right at you, wasn’t he? Taught him not to trespass in a mechanic’s garage, though, I sure did.”

“That you did,” Gladio chuckles.

“You really think that’s the little asshole that killed Prompto?”

“I strongly believe it, sir,” Gladio says. “I’ll be sure to inform the police so you can collect the reward.”

“Reward was shootin’ that bastard dead,” Cid grumbles. “Well, I reckon I’m not gonna complain about some extra gil, either.”

Noctis, as if sensing Prompto’s anxiety, asks, “Your granddaughter ok?”

“Oh, Cindy’s just fine.” Ignis can see Prompto visibly relax next to him. “Out on the town with her girl. Reckon she’ll get a surprise out of watchin’ the cops draggin’ a body out of the ol’ garage, though.” Cid turns to Prompto, but Prompto can’t tense because, again, he can’t see it. “You oughtta head out then, I reckon. Can’t imagine it’s much better gettin’ gawked at by a bunch of boys in blue.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Noctis says, getting up. He pulls Prompto up by the hand and starts to lead him out of the room, pausing only to give Ignis a look of comfort. “We’ll meet you guys at home.”

And they’re gone just like that. The three remaining men in the room sit in companionable silence until the police arrive, broken only when Gladio curses.

“When did that little brat steal my keys?”

The facts are these.

Noct’s apartment is a spacious penthouse loft on the top floor of one of the only high-rises of the small town they live in. It includes such features as a living room with floor-to-ceiling windows and a small balcony with several struggling houseplants that offers a perfect view of the city. As such, it’s the perfect place to get a breath of fresh air after a particularly long talk with the police, and the perfect place for a dramatic conversation.

“So,” Prompto says, sliding down to sit next to where Ignis is leaning against the railing of Noct’s balcony. He slips two bare feet between the bars of the balcony to kick them over the expanse. Basil waddles to his side to shove her face between the bars. “Bummer about the reward, huh?”

“Well, Cid seems to have some ideas on how to spend the money.” Ideas, of course, that he’d been sure to outline to Gladio and Ignis in the thirty minutes it had taken for the police to show up.

“I’m glad,” Prompto smiles. “He’s a grumpy old guy, but he’s nice. He deserves some cash.”

“I’m inclined to agree, but I’m also not above wishing to see some of that reward money.”

“Same,” Prompto laughs. Then he tenses, ever so slightly as he continues. “I was kind of hoping to pay for that funeral director’s, well, funeral.”

“Ah,” is all Ignis can think to say.

There’s a pause where the only things that they can hear are the quiet sounds of the restless town beneath and Basil’s quiet pants.

Then Prompto laughs. “Think they give employee discounts for funerals?”

Ignis gives him a fond smile that Prompto returns, then he’s looking out over the city again, fingers coming to tangle in Basil’s fur.

“Y’know, to be honest, when I found out that guy died for me, I felt really guilty,” he admits in a soft voice. “But it wasn’t because I thought I should trade my life back for his or anything. It was- Well, I just scared myself because I was so relieved. It felt so selfish, but he was like, sixty or something, and I remember thinking ‘at least it wasn’t a kid,’ like somehow that made it better. And I was happy to be alive or whatever, but it was just… so much at once and everything was so fucked up. It’s fucked up, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s ‘fucked up’ to be happy to be alive,” Ignis answers. “I think that’s just how it is.”

“Yeah,” Prompto breathes. “Yeah, maybe. Either way, I was hoping I could get rid of the guilt by paying for this dude’s funeral, but I guess that’s out of the cards.” He looks to Ignis with a hopeful expression. “Was he really that much of a dirtbag?”

“Dirtiest of the bags,” Ignis says. “Absolute scum.”

“Wow, what happened to ‘don’t speak ill of the dead?’” Prompto laughs.

“Well, I’m sure the rules can be suspended for a man who regularly stole from the dead.”

“Oh, wow, he really was a scumbag.” Prompto blinks. “I thought you guys were just trying to comfort me.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” Ignis says, casually.

But Prompto turns to him with a knowing look in his eye. “Really?”

“What are you trying to imply?”

“Nothing,” Prompto laughs. “Nothing, I just. I figured it out, you know. What you were talking about in the car. My dad, that was you, right?”

“Er,” Ignis chokes.

“No, it’s alright, it’s alright,” Prompto reassures. “I’m not mad about it, I don’t blame you. I just wanted to tell you that.” Prompto pulls his feet from off the edge and puts Basil in his lap, curling up into a little ball around her. “My dad, well, he was kind of an asshole, when I think about it. Yelled a lot, drank a lot. Never hit me, but I wasn’t really around for him to try. Y’know, the reason why it seemed like I was outside all the time was because I pretty much was. I’d spend as much time out of the house as possible just to avoid him. So, you can quit beating yourself up about that.”

He lets out a shaky breath. “I was a kid and it was scary being alone, but I think my life would have been a lot worse if I stayed in that place.”

“Prompto,” Ignis chuckles something that’s at once solemn and fond, caught between his sadness at the pain in Prompto’s life and the joy at seeing him finally wanting something for himself. “You died.”

“Yeah, but I got to solve my own murder!” he says with a grin, honest and bright. “I mean, how cool is that?”

They both laugh at that, then Prompto’s looking at him with that thoughtful, longing expression. After a moment, he hums and uncurls himself to stand up in front of Ignis.

“Hey Iggy?” he asks, reaching into his back pocket to produce a plastic take-out bag. Have a nice day! it says in cheerful letters. “Mind doing me a favor and putting this bag over your head?”

“Plan on killing me?” Ignis jokes, but he’s taken the bag and is pulling it over his head regardless. “I suppose that’s karmic justice, in a roundabout sort of way.”

He doesn’t quite hear Prompto’s response over the crinkle of the bag, then suddenly the plastic is being stretched over his face and for a moment Ignis thinks, ‘ah, he really is trying to kill me.’ But then warm hands come to cup around his cheeks and there’s a gentle press against his lips and Ignis can’t think anything at all.

It’s a chaste kiss, necessitated by the plastic bag, and only a moment, but it’s more than Ignis could have imagined. Prompto, it seems, was the imaginative one between the two of them. It’s not his first kiss, not even his second, but it’s the first time he’s kissed someone and imagined a future instead of only the worst case scenarios. It’s the first time he didn’t wish anything was different.

But it’s not long, and he’s left standing dumbstruck in the aftermath as Prompto tugs off the bag and fumbles with it in his hands, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“I was kissing this big smiley face, so that was a little weird,” he laughs, a little nervous and a little breathless, as he stretches the bag out in his hands. He slips a hand inside. “And you used tongue! Look at you, Iggy!”

“I, er, I was caught up in the moment.” Ignis stutters out a laugh of his own.

“Careful,” Prompto teases. “Last time you were caught up in the moment, you killed a guy.”

“Hey!” Noctis cuts in abruptly, slapping a hand against the sliding glass door, making the both of them jump. “If you two are done flirting, I’ve got something to show you.”

“How’d you manage to steal those?” Gladio says, incredulous.

Those being the tonberry statues that Noctis had, apparently, lifted while leading Prompto out of the garage.

“We all have our vices,” he says, in lieu of a real answer. They’ll have to have a talk later, but that can wait because Noctis turns to Prompto, who’s turning one of them over in his hand and says, “Wanna do the honors?”

Prompto grins and raises the thing above his head. “This is for getting me murdered!”

The cheap plastic comes away with a crack to reveal the telltale glimmer of pure gold, the trait that’s likely responsible for the unexpected heaviness of the statues and the fact that someone had been willing to kill for them. This means nothing to Basil, who approaches the statue to lick at it.

“’They’ll make you very, very rich,’” Prompto breathes, remembering Dino’s words.

“Very, very quick,” Gladio finishes, testing the weight of one of the statues in his hand.

“Speak for yourselves,” Noctis shrugs. “I’m already rich.”

The facts are these.

Ignis Scientia - twenty two years, eleven months, three weeks and five days old, full-time baker, part-time private investigator’s assistant and host/co-star of a recently developing series of instructional cooking videos titled Baking with Basil - is about to have the best birthday of his life.

The reason for this being the man curled up on Noct’s couch. Prompto Argentum - recently re-raised freelance photographer, roommate (of Noct’s) and boyfriend (of Ignis) - isn’t doing anything in particular. He’s just existing, just breathing, and to reiterate, he’s Ignis’ boyfriend. And it’s the most wondrous thing Ignis could have hoped for. There’s nothing better he could have imagined in twenty-two years, eleven months, three weeks and five days.

“What are you staring at?” Prompto says, pushing his glasses farther up his face.

“Nothing,” Ignis gives him a fond smile. “I just like to look at you.”

“That’s gross,” Prompto says, scrunching up his nose. But he’s grinning. “Noctis, hold my boyfriend’s hand.”

Noctis, who’s been mercifully accommodating of Prompto and Ignis’ peculiar circumstances, merely makes a noise of understanding and flops out a hand for Ignis to hold.

“So, wanna take a trip for your birthday?” Prompto says with a smile.

“I’m not averse to the idea,” Ignis says, but that’s entirely an understatement. He’d go anywhere with Prompto, at this point. “What did you have in mind?”

Prompto’s grin turns mischievous. “Definitely not a cruise ship.”

THATS IT! (or is it?)

i may revisit this AU in the future! but for now, i have to work on my WIP for the big bang and some other stuff!

hope you enjoyed!

#ffxv #promnis #prompto x ignis #ignis x prompto #my fic #tbh i can't believe i got this all done to publish on consecutive days y'all must b like who dis

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dartlekey · 8 years

Text

A walk in the park

~For the MP100 Valentine’s week challenge, Day 1~

Category: Gen, M/M

Pairing: Serizawa Katsuya/Reigen Arataka, mention of Terumob

Word count: 2363

Warnings: Child neglect, Child abandonment. Also some Death (well, you know. Dead people. It’s a show about espers, ghosts and exorcists; what do you expect)

Notes: Yes, I managed to take a cute, fluffy topic and turn it into an absolute angst fic - although it does have a fluffy ending, so please forgive me ;)

***

"Cinnamon Park?"

The client, a young mother with tired eyes, nodded nervously. "I always go there with the twins in the afternoon, because there's a great playground. Lots of my friends bring their children there too, and the kids have lots of fun together - or at least, they used to. Since a few days ago, a spirit has manifested in the tube that connects the play structure, and violently attacks anyone that goes near - even the adults! My friend Mina still has the scratches to prove it!"

As if on cue, the small girl on her lap started crying; whether she understood the words or just got frightened by her mother's fearful tone, Reigen didn't know. He couldn't even tell how old the kid was; he'd never been good with children. Dealing with Mob from a young age had only worked out because the small esper was so insensitive to social interaction, and despite his naiveté so very mature for his age. (As Reigen had learned, the two weren't mutually exclusive.)

To make matters worse, the other twin, a small boy resting at the mother's feet, looked up because of the noise and realized his sister was crying - and suddenly his lip was wobbling as well.

The mother herself winced, looking exhausted already; she'd probably suffered through a lot of this in the past few days. "There, there," she said half-heartedly and patted the girl's back, but the kid didn't let up, and the boy started sniffling.

"E-excuse me - may I...?"

Both Reigen and the mother looked up at Serizawa, who'd previously been standing off to the side, taking notes, but now had stepped up to them, looking nervous.

The mother shrugged, while Reigen hesitated; he had no idea what Serizawa planned to do and also doubted it was the best idea to let someone with strong social anxiety near a crying child - but surprisingly, Serizawa didn't wait for Reigen's okay. Instead, he crouched down, picked up a toddler with each hand, settled them on his lap and said, "Hey, do you like sparkly things? And colors?"

The girl ignored him and continued bawling, but the boy looked up and wrinkled his tiny nose at him in confusion. "Oh, you do? I love them as well. Blue, yellow, green... my favorite is orange, you know. What's your favorite color?" The boy hesitated, then stammered out: "W-wed..."

The girl looked over suspiciously, seeming almost irritated that her brother was hogging the attention, and started to cry louder. Serizawa, on the other hand, beamed at the boy. "Oh, yes, I love red! A strong color for a strong boy... Oh, maybe I can call it here... 'Red! Red, appear!'"

Even though he still wasn't very susceptible to such things, Reigen could feel the aura charge collecting around Serizawa - and suddenly the dark-haired esper and kids were surrounded with pulsing red swirls and sparkles, flowing and weaving around them. The kids stared at the sparkles, completely baffled. The girl even stopped crying, she was so surprised.

And then the boy started laughing and clapping his hands. "Pwetty!!!", he squeaked, bouncing up and down on Serizawa's knee. "Pwetty!!!" Serizawa smiled, and turned to the little girl, who was still pouting. "And what's your favorite color?"

The girl pressed her lips together, then mumbled, "Blue." Serizawa's smile widened, and he said, "How fitting, a cool color for such a cool little girl. Could you call for it, do you think? Call for blue?"

The girl frowned, then hesitantly nodded. "Blue. Bluuuue!"

Serizawa flicked his fingers, and more swirls burst foward, the blue mingling and intertwining with the red, creating a starburst like fireworks. The girl, fascinated, reached out to grab one of the strands, and it flowed towards her and nuzzled against her cheek; there was no other word for it. "Warm!"

Reigen and the mother stared down at the little scene, lost for words. "How does he do that?", the mother asked. "No idea," Reigen responded, not realizing she meant the aura manifestation. How does this guy get more amazing every time he walks into my office...?

Then he shook his head to regain his focus. "Anyway, this spirit, you want it exorcised? No problem at all, as you can see, this office has three strong, capable espers to take care of your problem."

The woman frowned. "Where's the third?"

Reigen scowled, about to retort angrily - until he realized his mistake. "Oh, right, Mob isn't here today. He has his date..." He frowned. "That Hanazawa kid better not mess this up, Mob's been excited about it for days..."

He turned back to the woman, who gave him a confused look. "Ah, no matter. Lets discuss the different exorcism courses..."

An hour later, Reigen and Serizawa were walking through the park, on their way to the playground. It was a beatiful day, the sun was shining and the first cherry blossoms were opening on the trees despite that sudden frost five days prior. Wow, Reigen thought drily, such a wonderfully romantic setting for an exorcism. The spirit will be thrilled.

Why not you?, an unacknowledged part of him whispered. After all, you're here alone with Serizawa...

No! No, shut up, brain!

Even so, Reigen couldn't help but glance over at Serizawa, who was marveling at the cherry blossoms. It had been more than two years since Serizawa had joined the Spirits And Such office, and in that time, Serizawa had grown so much. In the beginning, Reigen had actually thought that he'd be dealing with just another frightened child, but he'd been so wrong that it made him cringe now. Because once he'd finally managed to coax Serizawa out of his shell of fear, Serizawa had turned out to be so much more. So thoughtful, so dependable, so kind, so gentle, so sincere... always so sincere.

Not someone a fraud like him even deserved to be working with. Reigen was constantly afraid of the day when Serizawa would shed his past insecurities completely, and realize he could do so much better than Spirits and Such. But Reigen had no right to keep him tethered here, and definitely no right to ask for anything more than friendship.

No matter how much his heart ached.

"Uh, Reigen-san? Is there something on my face?"

Reigen blinked, and realized he'd been staring. "Ah, sorry, no... I was just, uhm. Thinking. That you were really good with the kids back in the office. Amazing, actually. I hadn't expected that."

Serizawa smiled, flushing at the praise, and Reigen felt a stinging in his chest. "Ah, thank you, Reigen, but that was nothing. Children are easy to understand, it's the adults that are difficult... Not that I think you're difficult," he quickly added, "but-"

"It's fine, I understand," Reigen quickly interrupted, "but well. You know. I couldn't have done it. I'm terrible with children, and always have been. Maybe it's hereditary. But I always feel like their big round eyes are judging me, like they see right through me. And that makes me nervous, and that makes them dislike me."

Serizawa chuckled gently. "Huh. Well then, I guess we'll just have to stick together." Then his eyes widened and he blushed. "F-for balance, I mean. Socially. Dealing with adults a-and kids. Um. Ah- sorry. Forget it."

Reigen swallowed, and forced a smile. Of course he doesn't want to stick with me for other reasons. "Right."

They spent the next few minutes in silence, only broken when they finally reached the playground. Reigen slowed his walk, letting his gaze trail over the swings and monkey bars. "Do you sense anything?"

"Only a slight presence," Serizawa responded, frowning at the tube.

Reigen chuckled. "Then I guess this'll be... a walk in the park."

Serizawa paused, then snorted, a grin sneaking on to his face. "Indeed."

Reigen felt absurdly proud of himself.

He walked over to the tube slowly, and started doing what he did best: talking. "Hello? Spirit, are you in there? Can you hear me?"

He stepped closer, but as soon as he neared the opening, an angry array of something spiked and broken lashed out, narrowly missing him as he jumped back.

Reigen inspected his tie. About half of it had been torn off and ripped to shreds. "Um. Well then."

"Reigen-san!" Serizawa was immediately at his side, staring alternately at the deceased tie and the tube. "I... the aura just expanded tenfold. I think the spirit was hiding it... I apologize for not noticing -"

Reigen waved his hand airily, hoping his legs weren't shaking. "Ah, it's fine, no harm done... Spirit? Why are you here?"

A buzzing like of a thousand bees, and a distorted voice, "gO aWAy;.!"

Reigen frowned. Not a good start. "Spirit -"

"gO aWaYyy; . aND dO''Nt caLL mE ThAt;;!"

Reigen stepped closer again, frowning. "What? 'Spirit'?"

Another explosion of spikes, this time blocked by Serizawa. Reigen felt his hair stand up on end, but remained still.

"My nAMe iS kaITo.,."

"Kai-" Reigen faltered. Something about the way that the spirit spoke, petulant, almost whining. So adamant about it's name, but only giving its first name, not the surname. Could it be -

"Are you a child?"

The spirit was silent. Then, "I dON;t AnsWEr tO StrAnGeRs,,."

Reigen exchanged a worried look with Serizawa, because that answer was as clear as any. They were definitely dealing with the spirit of a child, and those were violent and unstable at the best of times.

Serizawa stepped forwards, and crouched down to the tube even though he couldn't see in - the entire opening of the tube was blocked by dark, writhing aura tentacles, shimmering like oil slicks. What a powerful spirit, Reigen thought and shivered.

"Are you..." Serizawa wet his lips and tried again. "Are you waiting for your mother?"

A pause, then. "i DO';nt HaVE a mOTheR;.,."

Did it sound sad? Reigen couldn't tell through all the buzzing.

"Then, your father?"

The spikes flashed out again. "hE,,'S CoMiNg:., HE prOMiSeD!!.-,!"

Was it... agitated?

Serizawa slowly shuffled closer. "He's coming for you? Did he say when?"

Another pause. "DadDY wOrKs LonG. loNG. DaRk alReaDy. KaITo WaiTs."

Serizawa smiled softly and inched towards the psychic mess leaking out of the tube. "Because you're a good boy, a very responsible one. Practically an adult."

The tentacles withdrew a bit, became a bit more see-through. "ThAt'"s RIgHt.,. i;'M stRonG.. NoT cOLd.;,,-. Don#;T fEEl coLd--.,,,."

Reigen leaned closer, confused. "You're cold?"

"NOT COLD!;::!!;"

If not for Serizawa's shield, they would both have been shredded. "NoT cOlD. ,, nOT slEePy.;:: i WaIT.;;;:.-,-"

"Yes, you wait, like a grown-up," Serizawa said soothingly, then turned to Reigen, worry evident on his face. He mouthed, Should I excorcise him now?, but Reigen held up his hand, signaled him to wait. Because he had a horrible feeling in his gut and a growing suspition in his head that he needed to prove.

"How long Kaito? How long have you been waiting?"

"i,::,"

The spirit paused, became even more see-through. Reigen and Serizawa peered into the tube; they could just make out something small and lumpy at the bottom of it.

"I wAit.;::"

"More than a day?"

"i wAIt.;:-"

"Two days? Three?"

"I WaiT..,;:-"

"A week?"

Silence.

Reigen clearly remembered the weather report. '- experiencing a sudden cold front despite the previous approach of spring. Be sure to bring your jacket if you're going out at night, because temperatures are dropping below zero degrees celcius-'

"Five days?", he asked.

The spirit paled even more, almost translucent now. Reigen leaned as close to it as he dared, staring into the tube and confirming the shape of of the lumpy thing.

"I----:;;--:... hE PrOmiSEd.;:!:;,"

Reigen looked up at Serizawa, and swallowed hard. Exorcise it, he mouthed, feeling close to throwing up. Now.

Serizawa blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Now!"

And Serizawa - Serizawa shook his head.

He shook his head, and said to the spirit, "Of course your dad will come. He'll be here. Because he loves you."

And suddenly, there was a little boy crouching at the edge of the tube, form glowing green, looking up at them with empty eyes. "he dOEs,,:?;,.,"

Serizawa smiled softly. "All parents love their children. But your dad? He loves you the absolute most."

The spirit smiled, and glowed gold - and then it dissapeared, gone forever.

Reigen swallowed.

Then he reached into the tube with trembling hands, and pulled out the corpse.

The former body of small Kaito smiled blissfully in death, happy with a promise that may or may not have been true. "Not all parents love their children," Reigen said hollowly, gently brushing the hair back from the bluish tinged face, not even caring about the smell of five day's decomposition.

Serizawa gently pulled the body away from him. "They do. Even yours did. Even if they weren't there when they should have been."

Reigen stared at him.

Stared at Serizawa, his insides exposed; opened and closed his mouth without words coming out. "How...?"

Serizawa smiled. "Reigen-san... if anyone, I know what real fear looks like. You were projecting onto Kaito."

Reigen suddenly feels a tear running down his cheek without being sure how it got there. "I..." He swallowed again. "I guess I was, huh."

Serizawa reached out, hesitantly, and brushed the tear away. His hand was so tender, and Reigen leaned into the touch.

"Don't worry, Reigen-san. I'll never leave, as long as you want me to stay. Because you're important to me, so, so important. Because I -"

Serizawa hesitated, then plunged onwards, "Because I love you."

Reigen's breath hitched, but Serizawa didn't notice. "And I know you don't love me back, not in that way, but that's okay. I don't have to be your lover, and I won't leave just because I can't be... I just want you to know that you always have a shoulder to lean on."

Reigen stared into Serizawa's warm brown eyes, and thought, I don't deserve you... But I want to, I want to, so much.

And Reigen leaned forwards and as his eyes closed, he brushed his lips against Serizawa's; carefully, tenderly. Serizawa froze, at first, but as Reigens hand came up to cup his face he melted into the kiss, a soft sigh escaping his lips and warming Reigen to his core. Never cold again.

He pulled back and smiled softly, saw his blush mirrored on Serizawa's face, as the esper stuttered, "R-reigen-san?"

And for the first time in too many years, Reigen thought he'd like to hear his own first name again.

"Please, call me Arataka."

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 valentines week #serirei #terumob #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #kageyama shigeo #hanazawa teruki #angst #fluff #child neglect #child abandonment #death #wow i feel like a terrible person #sorry reigen

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