#and for inheritance it definitively doesn't

[sungbeam]

BIRDS OF PREY — thirteen

nonidol!kim hongjoong x f!reader

living in gray areas of your city, out of the way of gangs and mafia territories, could only keep you safe for so long. it was only a matter of time before you began running into problems, or rather, problems began running into you.

▷ genre, warnings. nc-17, strangers 2 lovers, slow burn, mafia au, angst, swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of money laundering, skfnskjdkdjd one intimate moment., mentions/thoughts of murder

▷ word count. 5.3k

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a/n: yk i didn't even plan for this to be released on fri the 13th, but here we are 💀

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: HONOR AMONG THE DISHONORABLE

KIM HONGJOONG HAD KILLED BEFORE, and he was not afraid to do it again, not even in front of a room full of people. But strangling Bang Chan in front of you wasn't on his bucket list, especially when your eyes were already as wide as a deer's, and he could see that you were reeling from all the new information thrown at you in the last fifteen minutes. 

(But he was right about Aurora. It was definitely your shade, and he was going to be as smug about it as possible… once the man across from him was dealt with.)

Wooyoung had tracked Bang Chan's license plate to this location last night. It was almost too easy, he reported, but Hongjoong didn't have much choice but to insert himself anyway. He needed to pull some strings, and sometimes, the only way to do things right was to do them yourself. 

What a fine coincidence to bump into Chan here, seated in your section, waiting—whether it was for you or for Hongjoong or both of you, he couldn't quite figure it out. But now, Hongjoong was certain what this all was; Chan wanted Hongjoong to pick up and follow his trail of breadcrumbs to lead him here. Chan knew who you were, knew who you were to him, and that in itself was dangerous. 

There were several things on Hongjoong's mind, one of which was eliminating the glaring DANGER sign across from him. If Chan put you in jeopardy, he would have Hell to pay. 

“I want to propose a partnership,” Chan said. 

Hongjoong narrowed his eyes. “We have one.”

“You have one with Jinyoung, not me.” The heir idly swirled around the liquid and ice in his glass. “What I mean is I want to know how you… took over your predecessors, and to ask for your assistance in doing the same.”

The words were being absorbed, but not fast enough. Did Chan just say he wanted to forcibly take over the GV mafia family? Hongjoong's expression contorted into one of pure confusion. “Come again?”

“Aren't you literally inheriting the family business?” you piped up, equally incredulous as Hongjoong. He was glad you were both at least still on the same page. 

Chan took a generous gulp of his whiskey and set the glass back down. The relaxed persona he had on earlier had given way to a tension in his posture. That was what conspiring toward mutiny did to a person. “I am,” he confirmed, his lips pressing into a grave line, “but Jinyoung doesn't plan to give me sole ownership. I'm sure you've been actively working on your own problems, but our problems are more linked than I'd like them to be.”

This was certainly not going in the direction Hongjoong was expecting. Then again, none of what happened thus far had. “You've gotta be shitting me.”

“Dove!”

Heads whipped upward. You turned, nearly jumping out of your skin, and Hongjoong warmed a hand on your lower back. A co-worker of yours was waving you over, gesturing to a large pile of dirty glasses on a table. 

“Go,” Hongjoong murmured to you, “I'll catch up with you later, dove.”

You casted a weary glance over at Chan, then to Hongjoong beside you. With a small nod, you left to do your job; Hongjoong's fingers lingered on the fabric of your dress for as long as possible. 

Hongjoong picked up the Calliope Sonata drink you'd gotten for him and took a ginger sip of it. He pulled the glass away with a pleasantly surprised lift of his brow. It was exactly as you described it, sultry rich with the right amount of burn. And gorgeous to look at. (It reminded him of someone he knew.)

As he placed the glass back down on the table, he grappled with the heavy conversation at hand. He bit his lip, carding a hand through his hair. He didn't want to confront the actual possibility of the pieces that clicked together in his head. 

“So you're saying what I think you're saying?” Hongjoong asked Chan. 

Chan nodded stiffly. “Your skeletons have risen, and my boss has made a deal with the devil.”

“Shit,” Hongjoong huffed. He and Chan both took another swig of their drinks. “So why do you want my help? What exactly did you mean when you said you weren't going to have sole ownership?”

“My boss has been getting nervous, especially with his looming desire to step down and escape,” he said. “This importing thing—the one through your ports—this was going to be his last hurrah, and his last bid for funds. He wasn't planning to split anything with you.”

The realization dawned over Hongjoong with a shadow over his face. “He struck a deal with my enemies that would lead to my downfall, and thus, relinquish any control I had over his importing and the ports.”

Chan nodded, and swallowed the rest of his whiskey. He shook his head. “In return,” he continued, “you-know-who would own part of the family. My family. I don't want his bullshit poisoning my ranks. You understand, don't you?”

Hongjoong rubbed his lips together, drumming his fingers against the side of his glass. “I do, unfortunately.”

“Good.” Chan knocked his knuckles against the table absentmindedly. “Then we have an agreement.”

“Not” —Hongjoong cut in, placing a palm on the table— “yet. We have much to discuss before we can come to a full arrangement, Bang. And I'll continue to hear you out—just not here.”

His counterpart bobbed his head. “Fair enough.”

“I'll have an address sent and we'll meet there.” Hongjoong began to stand up from the booth, chugging the remainder of Calliope Sonata to usher in the burn he needed to fuel him through the next hour or so. “Don’t try to double cross me, Bang.”

Chan lifted his palms in surrender. “Wasn't on my mind.”

“And don't fucking mess with her like that ever again.” 

Hongjoong left a hefty tip on the table and disappeared into the crowd. Chan could fill in the blanks; he knew exactly who Hongjoong was talking about. 

But with one problem temporarily dealt with, there was yet another giant looming in the mist. Hongjoong made his way toward the bar on the far side of the club in search of the hallway that would lead him toward the managers’ offices. The managers of a Lioncrest Society establishment wouldn't recognize Hongjoong as himself or as his alter ego; they were too low on the totem pole. If he could establish himself in the right light, he would be able to push things into motion. 

The heavy bass in the room reverberated through his body, pulsing hard enough to affect the rhythm of his heart. He kept his gaze forward, stride confident. The thing about walking behind enemy lines was to act like you belonged. 

As he stepped into the back hallway that led to the kitchen, he heard his name—no, the fake name he gave himself tonight—called from behind him. He threw a glance over his shoulder, steps slowing to a halt to allow you to catch up to him. 

His eyes drew to a wad of bills rolled between your fingertips, and he glued his gaze to that instead of the lace around your leg, the smear of red painting your lips, the glazed-over glint in your eyes. Hongjoong tucked one hand into the pocket of his pants. “Dove, wasn't it?”

You stopped before him and held out the bills to him. “Yours.”

He bit his lip, only looking at the money—his money that he'd left on the table. “Yours,” he parroted. “You're not about to get caught returning money to a customer, are ya?”

You hesitated and your fingers curled around it slightly. With a glance behind you to check for witnesses, you stepped closer once. 

Hongjoong swore he could count your eyelashes now, smell the tantalizing scent of orange blossom and vanilla bourbon. He didn't know where to look with the money out of direct sight. 

“Play along?”

Gladly. He ran his tongue along his teeth, playing up a feigned interest. “Do you want me to talk loud or let people fill in the blanks?”

Your hand found his chest, lingering a painful breath away from the opening of his dress shirt. The money pressed between your palm and the fabric. “Are there people watching?” you asked with a smile. There was a flirty curl to the expression, one he hadn't seen on you before, and if he had been drunk, he wouldn't have been standing anymore. 

Hongjoong's eyes flitted lazily past your head to the outer room. There were definitely people passing by the hallway opening to peek inside. Some curious clubgoers, others he guessed were your peers. “I'll make it interesting for them,” he said, and moved his hand to brace beside your head against the hallway wall. “Something wrong?”

“What're you doing here?”

He blinked. Well, that wasn't what he'd been expecting. He kept his face at careful ease and used his free hand to cover yours. Slowly, he turned your hand around and enclosed your fingers around the roll of bills. “I'm gonna make sure you get into that meeting,” he said. 

Yours and his hands remained between your bodies, fingers entwined, palm over palm. 

A microscopic crease formed between your brows. “By what? Walking straight into a danger zone? Somebody wants you dead, Joong.”

“I can take care of myself,” Hongjoong replied with a slight tightness in his mouth. “I told you I had an idea; don't worry about it.”

“No one's gonna recognize you?”

He shook his head. “They shouldn't. Not here, anyway.”

Your mouth quirked into a slight frown, and he brought his thumb to your bottom lip. He almost wanted to muse that it sounded like you cared about him, words you once said to him. 

He leaned over to put his lips in line with your ear, his words only for you to hear. “This looks good on you,” he murmured. “And as for everything Chan said and did��I’ll take care of it.”

“I swear to god I had no idea that that was who he was,” you said lowly as he pulled back. There was a flash in your eyes, twin glints of steel. “Truly was, at least.”

Hongjoong pressed his lips together. “You act like I don't believe you. I trust my people, doll.” He took your hand again and pushed the money toward you; he took a step back, adjusting his lenses and flashing you an easy, flirty grin. “Take that as reimbursement for the new accessory.”

With nothing more than a slight wave goodbye, he turned on his heel and returned to his goal. When he had a hand against the back door, he glanced back. You were gone from the hallway, out of sight. 

He pushed out a breath. Good. 

He couldn't tell if the erraticness of his heartbeat was from that encounter or what lied ahead of him. Being the Captain didn't mean he didn't get nervous, because you were right—he shouldn't be here. But there were necessary evils, risks he had to take to ensure he could keep taking them.  

By the end of your shift, your jitters from earlier had yet to settle. You spotted Hongjoong leaving a few hours ago, not long after he disappeared to “make sure you got into that meeting.” You assumed he would act a part—trust fund kid with too much money taking an interest in some bottle girl. That was the story you managed to concoct anyway. You hadn't been able to say anything to him before he left, but he had left in one piece, and that was all you could hope for, you supposed. 

You stood by the staff desktop to clock out and lock in the remainder of the profit you racked in tonight. There were undoubtedly even more whispers after the stunt you and Hongjoong pulled in the hallway. They were as unavoidable as your colleagues avoided you, their shoulders just slightly more cold than usual. 

You could imagine some of the things running past their mouths. 

A presence arrived in your peripheral vision, their hip leaning against the wall beside you. “So about that guy earlier,” Sabine trailed off with a teasing twinkle in her eyes. She brushed a strand of wine colored hair out of her face so you could really see her impish grin. 

You rolled your eyes, locking in your inputs. “I already told you,” you teased back. The two of you began making your way toward the kitchen and backrooms. “There is nothing about him; he didn't even give me his number.”

“But that tip—that tip money was probably the highest of the night. And that's saying something.”

The kitchen doors swung violently behind you as you both entered. Jungwon was by the large, industrial sink as usual, dish rag over his shoulder while he put washed glasses on a drying rack. 

He raised a hand to you, finger flicking in the direction of the employee entrance out at the back.

You nodded with a thumb's up. “I guess you're right,” you replied to Sabine, feigning nonchalance. It was bad for business if you seemed to catch feelings for a customer. You'd been in this business long enough to at least have seen it happen. 

Your counterpart lifted her brows at you. “He was kind of into you.”

“Nah,” you laughed, shaking your head. The back of your ears were inflamed, but you knew something she didn't. The image of him up close flashed in your mind, and the phantom sensation of his lips at your ear nearly made your knees buckle again. “They always talk big game but can never play it.”

“And isn't that the truth,” she snorted. 

You turned into the break room with Sabine and your eyes snagged on Ha-yi lingering by the other hallway, her head buried in her phone as she typed something. When you and Sabine entered, however, she lifted her head up and beckoned you over with a pair of curled fingers. 

Sabine clapped a hand on your shoulder. “Remember me when you're serving the VIP lounge.”

You sent her a playful shrug before bounding over to Ha-yi. Even if you could pretend to be Dove, this persona you had come up with—this caricature of yourself—the person beneath it all was the complete opposite at this moment. You needed this promotion for motives greater than this persona. 

“You served Mr. Bang and his friend tonight, correct?” she asked, even though you were certain she knew the answer. 

You nodded. “I did. His friend was… Jun, if I'm not mistaken.”

She gave a little inclination of her head. “Right, Mr. Kim Myungjun. He seemed to take a shine to you, Dove.”

Ah, well, maybe Hongjoong should have considered becoming an actor. You folded your arms over one another, tilting your head as if recalling him. “I'm guessing you saw me and him in the hallway, huh?” you asked with a little wince. “He left me a tip at the table already, but when I was cleaning up—y’know, I found an extra roll of bills on the seat and thought he might have left them by accident.”

“And then he let you keep them?”

You hummed. “Yeah, but I logged it into the computer, I swear—”

“I know,” she said. “I just wanted to let you know that I've been given permission to let you keep all of it.”

Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. “Pardon?” You hadn't counted all the bills Hongjoong left you, but it was more than enough to cover the cost of your garter. You could have probably bought an entire season's worth of them. 

Ha-yi's mouth lifted the slightest bit, and this was probably the closest to a smile that you would ever receive from her. “You heard me,” she confirmed. “Management says that you convinced Mr. Kim to become a VIP member of the club. Nice work, Dove.”

Huh. So that was Hongjoong's game. 

You managed a smile. “Thanks.” It wasn't your efforts, though, that got him to do it. And you weren't walking out tonight with a promotion, just a bonus. How much longer would you have to wait for a decision to be made?

About half an hour later, you and Jungwon sat in the front seats of his sedan, the engine running and the radio playing at a low hum. The two of you waved to Sabine as she disappeared through the front door of her apartment complex, somewhere near Sakura's neighborhood. 

The back of your head hit the headrest and a sigh loosened from your lips. 

Jungwon chuckled as he grabbed his phone from the cupholder, tapping the screen awake to check for notifications. “Some night, right? I saw the Captain strolling through the kitchen and almost squirted soap in someone's eye.”

That at least got a laugh out of you. “Me too, except I'm glad I wasn't carrying drinks when I saw him,” you said. 

“So he didn't tell you he was coming?”

You shook your head, pursing your lips. “No. He's the boss, dude—he’s not supposed to owe me an explanation, is he?”

Jungwon lifted his shoulder in a half-hearted shrug as he pulled the car away from the curb. “Guess you're right,” he said. “I just assumed since you two are pretty close—”

“Don't tell me the gossip mill got to you,” you groaned, covering your face with your hands. 

“I can't help it—I hear what I hear!” he exclaimed helplessly, but guffawed at your embarrassment nonetheless. “Oh, by the way, I have to stop by Kkura's; she has a hard drive that needs to be passed along to Seonghwa.”

You lifted your palms. “I got you. Do what you gotta do, Won.”

The road to Sakura's apartment was a familiar one and you spent most of it with your dazed eyes out the window. Hongjoong's run at the Dionysus management was to use money and influence to get you on the VIP staff line; however, that was also what Chan did, and no progress was made. You wondered if your little, gallant act with the money would convince them—somehow. 

But if you were being honest with yourself, it was likely just a matter of time. You didn't know why they were taking so long to make a decision with the meeting barrelling full speed head, but you were sure that you had made yourself the best possible candidate that you could. 

Jungwon pulled up in the alleyway by Sakura's house and promised to be quick. 

He left you in the silence and darkness of the car. You turned your head back to the front as the exhaustion from the night's shift weighed over you. You hoped Hongjoong got back okay; you hoped everything would be alright with Ryujin. Why had Chan even gone to those lengths to weasel his way in front of you? To make a statement? 

He claimed it was reconnaissance, but he couldn't have been less invasive? Maybe it was his paranoia. After all, you thought as you rolled your head to the side to rest against your own shoulder, he was planning a mutiny—

The car lit up with the arrival of a text message on Jungwon's phone screen. Then came another, and another. 

Your eyes blinked at the brightness, squinting. Just before the screen turned dark, you caught a glimpse of the contact name: “Jjong hyungie.” 

Oh. You could have sworn Jungwon said he was an only child, but maybe it was just a close friend of his who was older than him. 

The alley door opened, and Jungwon emerged from within. He threw himself into the front seat, tossing a plastic USB into the cupholder next to his phone. “Everything good out here?” he asked absentmindedly as he clicked his seatbelt into place. 

“Yeah, 'm fine,” you said as the car's engine hummed beneath you. “I didn't know you had an older brother, by the way.”

Jungwon's body stiffened beside you. “You were looking at my phone.” It was less of a question and more of an accusation. His hand snatched the device up, his eyes flickering over the screen, before shoving it into the pocket on the other side of him. 

You straightened in your seat, nerves on alert at his tone. “It wasn't on purpose,” you swore. “I just saw the name, that was all—”

“Just” —he pressed his lips together, eyes narrowed in a way that made him look like a stranger to you— “don't do that.”

“Sure,” you stammered. “For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Jungwon.” 

He didn't say anything, and you sank in your seat and returned your gaze to the window. 

If Park Seonghwa didn't have morals or respect for him, Hongjoong was certain his second in command would have had him swimming with the fish by now. 

“Your infinite patience humbles me.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” 

Hongjoong pursed his lips, settling his hands over the head of his cane. His friend's tone was message enough—Hongjoong had crossed a great many lines recently. It didn't matter that Hongjoong was technically his superior; Seonghwa had every right to worry. 

From beside where Hongjoong sat, Seonghwa stood as stiff as a statue, his hands pressed behind his back and his face settled into something stony. The two of them were in Jung Joonseo's old office in the abandoned Strictland stronghold. Hongjoong thought it would be an apt meeting place to discuss a possible arrangement with Chan. He would be here any minute. 

“I can't believe you.”

There it was. 

Hongjoong massaged his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “I don't know what I can say to convince you that I'm sorry,” he said. “It was important.”

“Do you not have faith in your own agent? Is that why it was so important?”

“That's not it,” Hongjoong insisted. He paused though. There wasn't a way he could articulate the feeling needling at the back of his mind about you. At least, not in a way that Seonghwa would understand. “Of course I trust her.”

Seonghwa's nostrils flared. “Then let her do what you assigned her to do.”

Hongjoong jammed his tongue in his cheek, hand fitting over his jaw. There simply wasn't enough time for you to establish trust with the Dionysus management the natural way. Plus, he never liked this idea of you being there in the first place. His active involvement was what kept him sane. 

A sigh from above his head: “What exactly is the nature of your relationship with her, Joong?”

“What a funny question.”

“Answer it.”

Hongjoong's eyes skirted up to Seonghwa, then returned to face forward. “There's nothing.”

“You really can do far better than that.” A beat of silence passed, and the sound of the clock in the room ticked loudly. “Is it because you still owe her a life debt?”

The thought had him shaking his head furiously. “No,” he said. “We are far past that right now.” But if you did call upon that last debt… He pressed his lips together. Was it so terrible for him to admit that he hoped you had forgotten about that offer?

“Then admit that you like her. You've grown attached.”

Hongjoong scoffed. “That's ridiculous.”

“The part where you like her or that you've grown attached?” 

He remained silent, and it was enough of an answer for Seonghwa. To him, if there was any reason for Hongjoong's hyper-involvement, it would have to be a damn good one. It wasn't as if Hongjoong had never been in danger before—but he was just asking for it, at this point. He might as well have slapped a big, red target on his back and frolicked out in the east corner. 

Furthermore, what would happen once all of this was said and done? You boarded this ship with the intention to help Ateez smoke out their enemies, but once Strictland was gone for good, did that include you, too? If Hongjoong was becoming attached to you—no, that was something that needed to be addressed later. Thought about later—Hongjoong would decide how to shift his masts once the wind blew.  

There came a knock at the office door, and Yunho appeared in the opening. “Cap'n,” he greeted with a nod, stepping aside to reveal Chan on the other side, as well as Jongho and Mingi taking up the back of the escort. 

Chan's eyes swiveled about the new space. He was still in the suit from earlier, as Hongjoong was, the alcohol smell permeating the room. Hongjoong could imagine that Seonghwa wasn't too pleased, but they couldn't just prop a window open. 

“Cozy,” Chan said as he took a seat across from him. 

Yunho closed the door behind him, standing at Chan's back, his arms crossed in front of his body. 

Hongjoong made a vague motion with his hand. “It's not mine,” he said, “but it'll do. My commanders have been brought up to speed on your proposal.”

Chan nodded, leaning forward to lock his fingers over the table top. “Alright then, what do you want to know?”

Helping Chan in this case would mean a combined effort against mutual enemies. Chan would be useful in passing along intel in regards to Jinyoung's moves and motivations, as well as anything they know about Strictland's possible next actions. 

“How much do you know about Strictland and their revival?” 

The heir made a small movement with his head. “I’m not allowed in the room where they have their meetings, but Jinyoung tells me about them afterward. But I recognized that man from the Kidult Company break-in; he's met with Jinyoung before.”

Hongjoong's brows creased. He must have meant Mr. Young. “They've met face to face?”

A nod. “Only once, but it was to discuss finances, because apparently the guy was well-versed in money in his past life,” Chan replied airily. 

Mr. Young made sense then, in this case, especially if he recognized his face. And if Jinyoung wanted a smooth retirement with plenty of income, that meant he needed this deal with Strictland to go well—in the sense that Ateez didn't have a hold over them. How could Jinyoung want this so badly that he was willing to hand over partial control of his empire to a complete stranger over Chan? What an idiot. 

“I believe Jinyoung was approached a few weeks ago about a partnership from Strictland,” he continued on. “The timing was… interesting. Jinyoung was getting nervous about you, Captain, I'll give you that. So much so that he fucked his family over.” Chan gave a disgruntled shake of his head, an indignant huff falling from his lips. 

Hongjoong supposed he could spare an ounce of sympathy for Chan. If someone took him in and practically treated him like a son, only to pull a stunt like this, it would be a knife in the back. The only difference was Hongjoong was the one doing the stabbing, and he was about to teach someone else how to pull the knife out to use himself. 

“So then what are their next moves? Do you know?” Hongjoong asked, his cheek still resting against his knuckles. 

Chan pressed his lips together. “No, we don't know their exact, next moves. But I can tell you that it'll be discussed at their next meeting.”

Hongjoong heard the pianissimo-level scoff from his second above him. He lifted two of his fingers off his cane, a signal—wait. “And when is this next meeting?”

“I thought you already knew, seeing as you've got an agent there,” Chan replied, his brows arching. “It's at the Dionysus club only a few days from now.”

So you were right, not that he doubted your instincts or information. If the leaders of this ridiculous revival act were going to be at Dionysus to meet with the heads of the Lioncrest Society, it would be an opportunity too fruitful to miss. 

Hongjoong made a small nod with his head. “Yes, we did know. The thing we need to confirm is who's coming to dinner.”

“I need to know you'll back me first,” Chan countered. He straightened in his chair, a move that made Yunho's hand slowly shift to the shadow beneath his coat. The heir had moxy—that much Hongjoong would give him—his chin was held up, shoulders confident. There was an air of authority that Hongjoong recognized. It was a shame that Jinyoung was a coward. “We make a pact of alliance, and when my people move on the head of the family, you'll support my bid.”

He had it all figured out, huh, Hongjoong thought. It was, unfortunately, a rather good move. Respectable, even. 

Hongjoong flexed the fingers over the head of his cane. “Deal,” he said. He lifted his head off his fist and extended his hand across the table. “You'll pass us information and we'll back you.”

Chan's mouth lifted into a slight smile, relieved and satisfied, as he clasped his hand with Hongjoong's. “A fine-sounding deal to me.” When he withdrew his hand, he sighed. “Jinyoung and I will be at the meeting,” Chan said, his lips pressing against one another into a line, making a dimple press into the side of his cheek. “Allegedly, the top brass from Lioncrest will be there, as well as representatives from Strictland.”

Hongjoong furrowed his brows, leaning forward in his seat. “Representatives?”

“Right,” Chan confirmed, “that Mr. Young fellow and the imposter Captain find this kind of group meeting beneath them.” He rolled his eyes, adding, “At least that's what Jinyoung mutters about. They won't be there, but there will be people there with direct access to them.”

It wasn't exactly what Hongjoong was looking for—or hoping for—but it was something. If Jinyoung had interactions with the imposter before, then he must have deemed this meeting in particular a risk he didn't want to take. How frustrating. 

“That's—fine,” Hongjoong said finally. “Nothing much we can do, but we'll work with it.”

Chan nodded in agreement. “Though, I should add that the GV and Strictland planned to move on you lot before our overseas shipment got to port.”

“Before? Then…” Hongjoong's voice trailed off. The last update he'd received from his soldiers planted in the GV's section of the dock was that the boat was about a week away. He suppressed any outward signs of concern; if Chan hadn't warned him, then the GV would have acted sometime soon with Ateez being none the wiser. 

An uncomfortable bubble filled Hongjoong's chest for the moment. How had he not seen any of it coming? Where was his head? It was impossible to be fully prepared for anything, but his peace of mind almost always came from being over prepared. 

There was much to do. 

Chan retained his solemn expression. “I trust that you'll know how to prepare? We haven't been given marching orders yet.”

Hongjoong massaged his jawline. “There are only so many ways to prepare for the unknown,” he replied. 

“True.” Chan seemed to mull something over, then inhale and ask, “You're planning to get Yn into the VIP staff to wait on the meeting, aren't you?”

“Yes, I thought you already knew that,” Hongjoong drawled. 

“Well, yes, but… no one else knows who she is, right?”

Something in the room pulled taut. Hongjoong's gloved hand enclosed around the beak of his crow-headed cane, eyes narrowing even as a lump formed in his throat. 

Seonghwa was the one to speak, though. “I suggest you tread carefully, Bang,” he said in a low voice. His hands remained behind his back, not a single falter in his stance. 

“I just needed to make sure there weren't loose ends.”

“How thoughtful of you,” the Captain replied wryly. Hongjoong fixed his opposite with a stony stare that spoke volumes on its own. “But you need not concern yourself with Yn anymore.”

It was a clear message to the Gold Village heir—Ateez protected their own like blood, and he was not kin.

a/n: pls reblog if u enjoyed !

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[syndrossi]

I had an excellent question for you today, but I was in the middle of class and couldn't steal enough time to write it down, and now I can't remember what it was. 😭 I just remember that it was a good one. Ah, oh well.

Some random questions:

- If Helaena asked Jon and Rhaegar what their favorite bugs are, what would they say? If she asked them to hold a spider for her, would they do so?

- If a Volantene decided the best way to get to Jon and Rhaegar was to hold a hostage and thus kidnapped easier prey (Helaena, Jace, Luke, one of the babies) as a lure, how would the castle react?

- Are Jon and Rhaegar good swimmers? Would Daemon allow the Velaryon boys + Laenor to take them swimming? (Thus question is honor of my town being 99 degrees today, and me having to unexpectedly walk home in it. 🥵)

- Regret!AU, assuming Alicent is pregnant or will be pregnant very soon with Helaena, once she's born, does Viserys immediately look at Daemon with betrothal expectations?

- We all love Daemon's short hair; does Rhaegar ever have to cut his? If so, would Daemon or Jon cut theirs in solidarity?

- Princesguard tourney plans. Will there be a feast? Dancing? Obviously Arthur's not going to show up, le sigh. Will it also work as a harvest celebration, or is that separate/not happening within the fic? I may have said this before, idk, but I feel like a children's mock melee/duel/joust/archery competition/whatever could be a fun addition to a tourney essentially all about the children... or maybe a mini-mummer's play!? Or Rhaegar could finally sing/play the harp for people! Thoughts on this?

Speaking of, will other children/heirs be encouraged to attend this event and socialize with the royal kids? I feel like it should be the ball of the season, so to speak, lol. How often will there be a tourney specifically for selecting 7+ new guards for the royal family's children??

On that note, the princesguard tourney is the singularly BEST time to insert the small(er) small council. Just saying. Imagine the little table. The little chairs. The little marbles. Otto being all 🤯 when Aegon isn't playing as "the king". (I obviously want Jon or Rhaegar to, but it'd be so cute if they all insisted Jace has to, lol. Jon and Rhaegar and Luke because he's the heir, and Aegon because he's lazy and doesn't want the job, Helaena because everyone else is, and Aemond because he's outvoted. Aemond can insist he or Rhaegar needs to be the hand then. For balance. 😂)

Wow, the last question may have gotten away from me a bit. IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN.

Favorite bug

Definitely firefly for Rhaegar. A fiery flying creature? Wholly up his alley. I could see Jon having an appreciation for spiders, honestly, given that they're excellent pest control for other crawlies that might cause problems for the Watch. Otherwise, perhaps brightly-colored beetles that aren't indigenous to the North?

Jon would be perfectly comfortable holding a spider. Rhaegar would be frozen in terror the whole while, clinging to the demands of chivalry (and stubbornness to match Jon's bravery) to make it through the harrowing moment.

Volantene Tactics

If what they want is the twins, going after one of their cousins is one tactic, but I'd argue it's a rookie move unless executed very well. Because if word reaches Daemon at the same time, he is going to sit on his sons to ensure they don't attempt anything rash. Rash behavior is his trademark! (Everyone else agrees that it's clearly an inherited trait.)

The smart move is to go after Daemon. He's infinitely more reckless with his own safety, easy to lure, and once you have him, he can't stop his sons from flinging themselves into the obvious trap.

But if they did go after one of the cousins, there would be quite an uproar. Jace is second in line to the throne, with Luke and Joff right behind him. Meanwhile, Aegon, Aemond, and Helaena have yet to claim dragons, so there's the very real fear that Volantis might seek to hatch more dragons with them. (Otto will muster every possible resource for the latter scenario, of course.) Meanwhile, could his younger children being kidnapped actually spur Viserys to give more than two shits about them? It's possible!

Helaena being kidnapped would probably be the greatest scandal, short of Jace, and pretty sure everyone would be frantic about her being taken.

Swimming

King's Landing is a coastal city, so I'm confident that Rhaegar would have had the very best swimming lessons. Jon meanwhile is a summer child, so even though the options in the North are...much colder, I have to think Ned would have anticipated his children frolicking in the same pools and ponds that he did as a child and thus taught them. (And if he didn't, surely Cat would have insisted for her own children, meaning that Jon likely tagged along.)

So I'd say that Jon is likely competent, with most of his lessons being "how not to drown" while Rhaegar is practiced in technique. As for the Redfort twins, it's a good thing they had Jon and Rhaegar's memories to draw from because you know Allard never gave a second thought to having them learn to swim, despite the presence of many a river and lake in the Vale.

I don't think Daemon's at a point where he's comfortable leaving them alone with anyone, even Laenor, but in the future, where the threat is less imminent, he might allow it after confirming himself that they are skilled swimmers. (He got a glimpse at their ability at the Giant's Toe, which is likely where all Targaryen children of his generation and the prior learned to swim.)

Regret!Helaena

Quite possible! Viserys is hoping for more prophecy babies from Rhaenyra and Daemon, but he's not certain it works like that, so he also has to guard against the possibility that it's just the twins. I think he'd hedge some, wanting to see if Daemon and Rhaenyra have a daughter or two first themselves. But he'd be speculating for sure.

Short-haired Rhaegar

I could see the potential for something incredibly comedic (a mishap/mischief that Jon is involved in that forces Rhaegar to cut his hair), or very dramatic (cutting his hair in a symbolic moment or to free himself from someone grabbing him by the braid). Rhaegar has no in-between with his hair. Either way, it is such a tragedy that Daemon and Jon absolutely join him in solidarity, because he looks so distraught when one of them gathers their longer hair up.

Princesguard Tourney

I haven't plotted out the entire event. The timing does somewhat coincide with the harvest celebrations, but slightly after per a remark from Aegon in an earlier chapter. Some lords who had planned to come for the harvest feast will likely stay longer, and some who had not originally planned to might come early so that they're present for both events. I may shift things around, depending, but for now that's likely what's going to happen.

But yes, plenty of lords will be jostling to have their heirs socialize with the royal children, especially since, as you mentioned, it's really the event of the decade--or more, given that this is an entirely new royal order of knights being founded, essentially. And they're hoping to perhaps leave behind a few children as companions for the princes/princesses.

Jon would love planning some martial events for the children, even though he'd trounce all of them. Maybe he'd try to put together a pre-teenish (10-12-year-old) bracket that he could compete in to be on a more level playing field.

And if Rhaegar has his say, there will be some harp playing at the very least!

I am always tempted to insert the small(er) council into Resonant! It'll be a matter of seeing if, tonally, it works. I could see it as a small side story at the very least that happens "in the background" of the planning. But it does have interesting political elements to it, especially if/when Viserys gets involved.

Otto is gonna hate the way Aegon constantly passes on the role of "king."

[goddessofroyalty]

In your verse, Amaranthine is an alfa, beta or omega?

Im sure both her and Naph could get flack for being zaunite/half zaunite/adopted but how would react Jayvik if they were critizied for both being omegas?

Like, when people talk shit because you only had girls (happend to my dad btw)

Amy, Isha and Naph causing trouble together is my new favorite

I haven't really settled one the designations for the younger generation of kids (and probably never fully will) because in my head I'm mostly thinking about them as well... the pups of the family. And so haven't presented yet instead just being the general young children.

I think Jayce mostly gets comments about the adopted/half zaunite thing. Just because Piltover (and Zaun) doesn't seem to care all that much about gender in canon (nobody makes a bit deal about Cait being the only heir to the Kiramman's and the name clearly has come from her mother's side) and I tend to try and match canon gender discrimination levels in omegaverse discrimination levels (plus I have plenty to play with just from the Zaun stuff). Way back when we did discuss the idea of people assuming Naph was the adopted one because of how much more he takes after Viktor over Jayce (and fact that he does tend to have a more Zaunite bent in his style) and it driving Jayce crazy not because he thinks it matters whether his kids are adopted or not they're both his kids but because of the implications behind why they think Naph is the poor orphan he took in and not the more Piltover-looking Amaranthine.

Yeah I'm really enjoying the idea of the three of them getting into trouble. Although it's probably more Amaranthine and Isha leading Naph into trouble because he's a little bit (couple of years) younger than both girls (and more mild tempered). Their families reputation definitively proceeds them and means they can get away with a lot more things because people don't want to bring the wrath of their family down on them if they make these kids cry. But the flipside is also there is so many adults across both Piltover and Zaun who know who they are and will dob them in to their parents.

[bitchthefuck1]

In case anyone else has the brain worm that makes them want exact details anytime people talk numbers, in Too Much Birthday the offer to buy Kendall out says that he has 12,904,663 shares of Waystar (worth ~2bil at $156/share), so assuming he didn't sell any stock after that and also that Shiv and Roman all had an equal stake, which the show implies, that means that when they sell the company at $192/share in the finale, each of the siblings gets just under $2.5 billion, half of it in Gojo stock, not counting whatever they inherit from Logan.

[s2pdoktopus]

Something Ene, and only Ene can do, weirdly enough is to tell you that you're a person.

In their world, at least for the artificial humans, how you came to be is quite important. After all, the only reason they are not seen as a human is the method of how they are made. They are made in a lab, they are tools, and that's all they ever will be.

But if Enea, the god whose domain is fertility, the one who allows something to even be conceived, to be born, says that you're a person regardless of how you came to be, then you are a person.

You are a someone and not a something because Enea said so.

[sussex-newswire]

"It’s not surprising that Meghan and Harry, 40, use the last name Sussex.

"As royals with titles do not usually have last names, they typically use their title as their family name. For example, when Harry and Prince William were growing up, they used the surname Wales because their parents were the Prince and Princess of Wales.

"When Harry and Meghan inherited the Sussex dukedom upon their marriage in 2018, their family name became Sussex.

"Speaking to People in an interview published on Monday, March 3, Meghan said the Sussex name is part of her 'love story' with Harry.

"'It’s our shared name as a family, and I guess I hadn’t recognized how meaningful that would be to me until we had children,' she told the outlet. 'I love that that is something that Archie, Lili, H and I all have together. It means a lot to me.'

...

"Meghan and Harry have never used the last name Mountbatten-Windsor. On Archie’s birth certificate, Meghan’s legal name was listed as Rachel Meghan Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex.

"Harry’s was listed as His Royal Highness Henry Charles Albert David Duke of Sussex."

[tittyinfinity]

My mother confuses the fuck out of me

[oliveroctavius]

I haven't really done anything with oliverpideyverse Miles but in my current concept Ollie fakes Spidey's death very dramatically maybe a decade into his career, intending to take six months off to recover from some injuries and major burnout. A couple months into his break Miles takes hold as Spider-Man (similarly to 1610, he was bitten a little while back, but felt pushed into it by the survivor's guilt of not having helped Spidey when he was alive). Oliver is like, awesome, then I'm perma-retiring. Except for making sure this kid doesn't die for real because I would feel pretty awful about that.

At some point Oliver would intervene a little too dramatically (helping to save his family, perhaps?) and Miles would figure out the faked death thing and be mad. Ollie is a little miffed because he always wanted to be the wizened mentor but Miles is having a hard time getting past "I was having STRESS NIGHTMARES about your APPARENT DEATH for MONTHS. Asshole"

[wallabywannabe]

I just had an idea come out of nowhere and decided to look up some estranged relatives...

I was born after the estrangement. My grandfather had a dispute with his only brother about their inheritance (how boring) and they just...never talked to each other again. My grandfather died in 2000 and my great uncle was talked about like he was dead.

But he wasn't. I just looked him up and he died in 2021. He had 1 child and 2 granddaughters who are about my age. 1 of them has the same name as my sister and the other has the same name as my cousin - because they're family names, of course.

Very weird. I wonder if my mother would like to see her cousin again.

[cursedcola]

Prompt: Couples will evidently begin to mimic their better half after some time. What traits do you steal from him, and vice versa? Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Characters: Everyone - because I want to and I’m amidst fleshing out all my Yuu/Character dynamics + designs Format: Headcannons. Masterlist: LinkedUP Parts: Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde (Here) | Diasomnia (Here) A/N: HUZZAH YET ANOTHER SERIES FINALLY COMPLETE

Habits You Steal:

Heels (Developed): Malleus is quite tall. No, scratch that. He towers over everyone. The horns give him an added height that really sells the deal. Unless you want to crane your neck back and develop a hump? It's wise to start wearing heels.

Prose (Inherited): Malleus. We love his little riddles and mysterious aura . He obviously read the wrong script and came straight out of an early 2000s YA novel named 'Evermore' or something akin. Yet he quite literally cannot get to the point sometimes. It’s a Diasomnia thing for sure but he’s the worst of the litter. It's infuriating. On one hand, your vocabulary has vastly improved. If only he could rub off on Grim, Professor Trein would be ecstatic. The problem is that sometimes you lapse into an 18th century sonnet, and your friends give maximum shit for it. Especially Ace. No mercy.

“Apologies everyone, it’s now past twilight hour and both the prefect and I need to conclude our evening agenda. Please excuse our absence and continue to delight in the night’s festivities.”-> Dear god Malleus - just say you’re going to walk them home and that you’ll see everyone in the morning. The misunderstandings that come from using big words is worse than sounding improper.

Sleeping on your side (Developed): Malleus requires a special pillow to sleep and it's one of those long ones that is positioned center of the bed. Most nights he rests like the dead, flat on his back so his horns don't tear the cloth. Laying on his side is a challenge, but he also wants to be touching you. It's one of those scenarios where once someone who's touch starved gets a taste, they can't go back. So most nights you'll sleep on one side (doesn't matter which) with either your head on his chest or your arms wrapped around one of his. Oh yeah - you get to keep one of those fancy pillows in Ramshackle. It's stored in a spare room but grim steals it quite a bit since the quality is high. The nights Malleus isn't around, you'll wake up with Grim smothered in your arms instead. Guess the whole 'can't go back' thing doesn't apply ONLY to Malleus here.

Luck (Inherited?): Fae blessings are a thing - we have confirmation within a 'discussion' during the main plot. I won't say when to avoid spoilers. Point is, the partner of Malleus Draconia most definitely has fae favorability cast upon them. You could make a HEFTY deal with Azul if he ever found out, so maybe keep the knowledge in your back pocket for a rainy day. Maybe offer to sit by him during a game of poker? Haha, no. You're actually 100% unaware. Only other fae can sense a blessing, and Lilia isn't a snitch. Expect your luck to turn around. Perhaps not entirely, but enough for the grey hairs to stop sprouting prematurely. It's difficult for other fae and supernatural to sense who placed a blessing, but they can recognize raw power. There is only one person on campus with enough magical potency to cast such a powerful charm. All thy need is two brain cells to connect the dots (some do lack this, unfortunately). You won't be sucked into any messes such as the Ghost Bride, etc. anymore, at the very least.

"Hm? I've little to no involvement with the others in my dorm, dearest. Yet, is it not a good happenstance that they treat you with the upmost respect? Do other dorms behave so uncouth that you are wary of proper manners? Diasomnia would welcome you, all you need do is ask." <- It is technically not a lie? He's not explicitly making anyone behave a certain way, but surely the strong aura acts as a deterrent for anyone with bad intentions. It just so happens that most fae-born students reside in Diasomnia. Not that he'd take kindly to any of his acting like anything but proper gentlemen towards you. This includes Sebek, by the way. The tonal whiplash with this one is insane the moment he recognizes Malleus' magic.

Gargoyles (Inherited): There is not much to say on this topic. Malleus is the sole member of Gargoyle Studies, and while he won't force you to join? It would make him very happy. You will become accustomed to travel and find comfort in desolate places. The dewy chill in deep ruins, nature's overgrowth from time's passing - certainly Malleus revisits places he once knew held life, and have been left to deteriorate. You can't truly feel the heavy nostalgia as Malleus can, but the appreciation is still shared.

"I once deeply enjoyed the solitude of ruins. The weathering of time somehow captured in architecture. Trapped in place as the world continued to live on. Yet I now find more joy in sharing them with you, rather than basking in their atmosphere alone. It perplexes me, and yet I find no problem with it." -> Malleus discovered the happiness that comes from simply being near someone you love. He just...doesn't realize it yet? It's a difficult feeling to characterize in words. Different than with his family, certainly. The entire point of going to a ruin was to enjoy the abandoned atmosphere. Malleus cares for his family yet there is a divide. Unspoken, and unable to be crossed. His world turns while he remains at a stand still. Yet whenever he discovers a new ruin, he couldn't find that tranquility he used to. Enjoying it alone is almost unthinkable - harrowing. He can't without you, or else it feels lacking. Even if you sit together in silence, he'd be happy. He just wants you there, your reactions, your company - it brings life back to the emptiness. Leaving the place more harmonious than he found it, coating it with pleasant memories for future visits. Hopefully ones where he is not alone.

Habits He Steals:

Artistry (Developed): Malleus has plenty of time to develop skills. The resources as well. He's fearful that one day your memory will become just that - a memory. One where he cannot picture your face in his mind. Where he's the only one left who recalls your existence. Be it because you pass on, or decide to leave him prematurely and return 'home'. Even if he firmly believes that there is nowhere more 'home' for you than in Twisted Wonderland. Regardless, he doesn't trust others enough. He needs to capture your likeness on his own. With his hands rather than magic - even if using magic to do so is child's play. He does not tell anyone of this budding desire or disquiet in his heart. Not even Lilia, who's likeness is forever immortalized in textbooks. The unspoken implications are too much for Malleus to confront.

People Watching (Inherited): It’s a work-in-progress, getting Malleus to see people as…well, ‘people’ and not subjects or those he’s obligated to protect. To cure his social awkwardness, there’s a need to get him ‘loosey-goosey’ and in touch with improv. What better way than to people watch? Except you don’t just sit there with him to observe. Malleus is thrown for a loop when you start making up backstories for everyone - based on their clothes, what they might be doing, or whatever else. None of it’s true. The ideas are all super embellished and with characterization holes…but it’s fun, and it gets him to think about how specific a person’s life can become, whether they live a lengthy life or not. Something utterly pointless to do, suddenly becomes one of Malleus’ favorite pass times.

Earth Slang (Inherited): It's a give and trade scenario. He improves your vocabulary, while you do Lilia proud by being the newest gremlin on Malleus' shoulder. Rather than teaching him Twisted Wonderland slang, it's much more entertaining for him to learn Earth lingo. Which is different. It's our metaphors, legends, and phrases like 'it's raining cats and dogs'. You're going to talk in SpongeBob quotes to him and he's going to believe it's philosophical. How novel, indeed. He gets to learn more about you as a person, and you get to have a bit of fun while also fostering a language shared only amongst the two of you? Like a secret code that friends have, or lovers? Huhu. It's not hard to crack at all but still fun.

"Hm? An 'updog'? Is this another saying or legend from your world? No, I have never heard of an 'updog' anywhere in Briar Valley. What is an 'updog'? A terror of some kind?" <- Heh.

Domestic Tasks (Inherited): Be still Sebek's heart, because bro might need to be resuscitated. Malleus wants to help you. Except he's found a situation where there isn't anything he can offer? Sure, he can offer coin and trinkets. Anyone can. It also is not his place to insert himself and solve your problems. You're an independent human and he isn't foolish enough to overstep that. So? Acts of service, even if said acts are 'beneath' him. This revolves back to him simply enjoying your presence, no matter what. Since you come with him to enjoy hobbies, it's only fair he does the same. Now he doesn't fully believe that you 'like' cleaning, but it's what you do most. So he'll help hang the sheets outside and then cast wind magic so they dry faster. He'll set up security charms outside Ramshackle, and enchant the paint brushes to freshen up your fence while you both share a pot of tea on the porch. You seem happy, and even a tad amused. So he'll relinquish some pride. If only for you to smile.

“Do all without magic need to take such…’extreme’ measures to clean windows? Please do not perch on the sill like this when I am not near. Else allow me this task, a simple water spell is far more proficient and safe” -> Man catches you ONE TIME, leaning out one of the second story windows to clean the outside glass and his heart skips a beat. Not that you wouldn’t make a lovely gargoyle on the roof, but spare him. He cannot fathom why one of the ghost residents can’t do it in your stead, but Malleus much prefers your feet planted on firm flooring (who’s going to tell him about all the holes and weak floorboards in Ramshackle?)

Nicknames (Developed): Malleus ceases calling you 'Child of Man'. There are many other children of men. It just so happens to be his default when you met. You are more. Much more. Which is why you cannot be his 'Child of Man'. Malleus actually takes to calling you your name more often than not. Names are meaningful, after all. Yet he dubs you 'Mooncalf' as well.

“Mooncalves are beautiful creatures that inspire. A name given to ‘those who dream’. That is what you do, is it not? Dream, and bring novel ideas that spark life in others.”

Strength (Developed): This is quite difficult. Controlling his strength when touching another is like trying to crack an eggshell with a power-saw. Yet the more you are together, the more he desires to touch you. So he has to learn. Since if he ever injured you, Malleus would never forgive himself. Often he hovers near, guiding you yet never making direct contact. His palm hovering near the small of your back as you walk, or taking extreme care when holding your arm. He's broken more teapots than you can count, and it takes months to share a bed. The fear of hitting you in his sleep caused insomnia for days...just, goodness. Don't even start on his tail. That thing has a mind of it's own.

"Fascinating...Hm?. No, no. I am by no means upset. Quite the contrary. Could I trouble you to humor my curiosity with examples? Oho, this is a wonderful evening indeed." <- Malleus showcases one of his pointed smiles - chin grasped between thumb and index as he listens intently to his juniors go in great detail about how you've begun to resemble him. The one other students will shy away from, but little do they know just how genuinely overjoyed he is. At first they showed mild distaste for the Ramshackle Prefect daring to go after someone like Malleus Draconia, yet all know better than to admit such a thing to his face. Else pity the fool. Yet nothing could dour his mood, their formal report reading like a lovestory in his mind. It is not that he is 'naive' to your mannerisms. You are always changing - as are many - and he would not dare to make any assumptions. Yet if others are noting these subtle changes as well? Malleus is...overwhelmed. Joy, appreciation, humor, and a bit unsettled if one asked for full honesty. If you are admiring him, including him in your person, as much as he is to you? It's an intimate commitment that comes once in a lifetime for his kind. He needs to think, but for now he will enjoy the 'implications' as much as he can.

Habits you steal:

Light Feet (Inherited): The king of jump-scares, ladies and gentlemen. Lilia is quite the cheeky fellow. He wades through corridors, skulking around like a bat on the walls. Both body and humor seem to ascend to new heights with this one - who without a moment's hesitation will drag you into his schemes. You may not be able to float, but that is no excuse to clomp about like an oaf! No, my doves, the greatest joys in life come from a good thrill. Others learn to keep a keen eye out for this bat's lover, as you slink about and appear at the most random moments.

"Oho!....my, my - your stealth is improving by the day. Don't get too cocky now, else I'll be forced to show you how a professional jump-scare is done!" <- Leona KingScholar himself has threatened to stick a bell collar on you, those from Savanaclaw taking a step back as you begin to resemble the more worrisome Diasomnia residents by the day. Dropping from treetops and banisters aplenty, the trickster ghosts at Ramshackle love their new fourth (and fifth, counting the ancient bat who haunts the halls just as much as they do).

Impish Glint (Inherited): Kehehehe~ it's physically impossible not to mimic that mischief laden smile of Lilia's! It's not as intimidating without the fangs and blood-red eyes, yet still oh-so charming. Why, the bat himself finds it positively adorable. It's one thing to have others call him cute - he now gets to witness the effect first-hand. The fact others can point your resemblance to him is just an added bonus. All you're missing now is the pink streak in your hair...can he? It would make such a lovely memory!

"Well aren't you just the most fetching gremlin this world has ever seen. Come along dear, I want to stir some youthful envy!"

Nose Picking (Inherited): Just kidding lol.

Historical Info-Dumping (Developed): One can only be corrected so many times before learning a topic inside-and-out. History lessons are a breeze with a personal dictionary at your disposal. Lilia is happy to help, but get ready for long stories with his bias weaved in-between. He never outright lies though, and it's a fine evening to sit with him by firelight and talk the night away over junk food. Treat it like hearing the story of an elder veteran. Except Lila has hundreds of stories to tell. There will come a day where your knowledge abut Twisted Wonderland extends far beyond what you ever knew of Earth - and you are the person people come to for notes. Even the studious Riddle Rosehearts trusts your word-of-mouth as much as his precious texts (only for history though, fair warning).

Speed Dial Takeout (Developed): This one is self-explanatory. Lilia's curiosity in the kitchen isn't something you want to deter him from. Let bro live his life, so long as it doesn't lead to the end of yours. It took months to find the TWST equivalent of speed-dial Chinese, yet a slip to Azul along with some recipes was enough to get the ol' ball and chain rolling. The food already exists, but you just had to plant some ideas to make sure that 3am last-second-craving availability was indeed an option.

"Don't look so glum now - once the oven is fixed I'll whip up a batch of Silver's favorite Mushroom Bisque! Ah - there's no need to cry. Now where did I put those takeout menus...." <- Now it's just Lils, Silver, and yourself chilling out at midnight with some egg rolls and moo-goo-gai pan after the fourth oven's been blown up in the past year. Thank Seven Malleus worked a plan with Azul set up a chain in Briar Valley, else y'all would starved.

Briaran (Inherited) : Briar Valley is indeed a land of tradition. You don’t need to learn their language to converse with fae. Most people in TWST are Bilingual - knowing common tongue and that of their homeland. Plus there are spells to help. Very few speak the ancient dialect from hundreds of years ago, which dwindled out after the war between man and fae with the ushering of a new generation. You already speak common tongue, but as for Lilia? Fluent in multiple languages. Ancient Briaran being one he slips in from time to time. You will undoubtably pick up many phrases of Briaran. Especially when he converses with Malleus, Silver, and on occasion Sebek. The third still a beginner to his personal chagrin. It’s like being a child in an immigrant household where your elders talk in their native tongue when they don’t want you to understand the conversation, so as a kid you gradually put together meanings through context. Y’know, as they go in between languages.

"I hadn't thought it possible to fall fall deeper in love - yet as always, you continue to surprise me." <- Lilia never asked you to learn, but nothing makes him melt faster than seeing you pick it up. You’re listening to him. He won’t ever jest over this, no matter how tempting, afraid it might deter you. He adores the way you mumble words under your breath, even if they’re mispronounced. He will only interfere if you ask, and be more than willing to teach. Ask him.

Habits He Steals:

Walking (Developed): Aside from when he's cheeky and looking to have some fun? Lilia will not float near you. He prefers to walk, feet firm on the ground, his hand in yours and enjoy the sweet serenity. There isn't a need to rush. Not anymore. Strolls with Malleus are a commonly discussed subject, but with Lilia? It's less like a sonnet in steps and more akin to walking the streets on a cold, winter night. Plenty of laughter as your linked arms swing between. Somehow slowing your steps on purpose, drawing out the time shared. Even if your lungs hurt a bit and joints are stiff. You don't have to. He could easily zip you both wherever need be, but the journey is part of the fun. He's gone his entire life at differing paces - and now Lilia is happy to match his final gait alongside yours.

Repeating Others (Developed): This goes hand-in-hand with you learning Briaran. Without prompting, Lilia will often repeat things his sons just said in common tongue. Sometimes dropping context clues so you can piece things easier. Not in a way that makes it obvious for you (sparing your feelings), but definitely noticeable to others in the Valley. It's an unspoken understanding not to ask 'why' he repeats himself two maybe three times tops.

"...eh? Scuzele mele. Ne vom întâlni în trei ore pentru antrenament. Da. Pentru practică. Asigurați-vă că nu vă zăboviți, altfel veți rata antrenamentul! - why that face, Sebek? Careful or your muscles will freeze like that khee hee!" <- Does it come unnatural? Maybe, but two out of three of his conversation partners can usually pick up when you're struggling to understand something. Sebek fails, but wouldn't dare question Lilia's speech and risk offending him. Translation: "My apologies. We'll meet in three hours for practice. Yes. For practice. Make sure you don't linger, or you'll miss practice!"

Intimacy (Inherited): Lilia is cheeky with most, but not touchy-feely. Not in the way that matters. He becomes clingy. It's odd being with someone actively seeking to be at his side all the time...and yet he does not mind. Which is unheard of for the loner - he spent 700 years of solo trips, wouldn't change a single one (okay, maybe a few. He could do without some scars), but the taste of a couple's vacation? A couple's intimacy? Romanic candle-lit dinners atop the castle ramparts, legs dangling over the edge as mindless talk comes and goes. Hiking through mountains hand-in-hand. Running raids online, shouting at each other from the next room? Sipping mimosas on a cruise ship - picking out souvenirs for your family an tasting cuisine. Even if it's places he's been before...with you? It's all new.

""You know...it was quite cruel of you to leave me behind. When? On that little journey to Fleur City, of course! Be it ten years ago or not - I understood at the time that it was a decision out of your hands, and yet you hadn't brought me any souvenirs...the hurt lingers to this very day and can only be healed through another vacation, won't you be my guide this time around?"

Normalcy (Developed): Lilia actively pushes the cute bit with others. Many portray his character as two sides of one coin: Lilia the General, and Lilia the Cheeky Prankster. What you get to see is...just Lilia. Not even Lilia The Father - because even with his kids, he has a part to play. Has to set a good example. Is it corny to say that he doesn't have to act cute for you, because he trusts you'll adore him? Isn't that what love is? To truly release your guard around him and not stress? It's like how on earth we all have our work mode, family mode, public mode, and then...well, us. The person we are when in a quiet room, alone, and simply being. That is the Lilia you, and only you, get to see. Lilia wouldn't get involved with someone that couldn't bring this side out of him. The one jamming out to metal while pretzeled on the ground, sifting through his wardrobe and eating burnt crisps out of a bag with chopsticks.

Time (Developed): In his last hundred years of life, with his magic dwindling, Lilia casts a glamour that lets him physically age with you. Not technically a habit, but also something he would never have spared the energy on without you as a deciding factor. Time comes for us all. He’d rather not emphasize this to his sons more than necessary…but they’ll watch you age. In an odd way, this is Lilia’s greatest ode to you. To them. To himself. You won’t have to age alone, watching him in a standstill as he’s been the past 700 years. This is his final thrilling experience, his final adventure- to grey and feel time in his blood beyond magic.

"You are as lovely as the day we first met, dear...surely I'm just as cute too, no?" <- No matter how quick you reply, he still is the same cheeky lil shit at 780 as he was at 700. Only with one heavy case of arthritis.

Nicknames (Developed): Lilia calls you ‘Dove’ for reasons best derived on your own rather than my telling. He will also be an ass and use teasing ones like 'shnookums' and 'poppet', but dove is for the softer times. On very rare occasions he will say ‘inima mea’ which is Romanian for My Heart, also known as Briaran in the world of TWST.

"Why, thank you! Kee hee hee, is it so obvious that I adore my little dove beyond comprehension? I've finally found my 'partner-in-crime' as you kids say, and my days have not been this lively in many years. Humor the musings of this old-timer, enjoy the blessings life offers while they are within your grasp." == Those who have lived as long as Lilia in Briar Valley are witnesses to his personality change. The general from hundreds of years ago is not the same bat flying about. He's a prime example for fae and humans alike that time changes us all - and so he doesn't mind popping in to humor gossiping soldiers. If anything, he hopes his open adoration serves as an example that it's never too late to welcome sweeter things in life. Family, friends, adventure, and even the once in a lifetime 'eternal love'.

Habits you steal:

Calling Lilia ‘Dad’ (Inherited?): Not Father. Just Dad. Daddio. Peepaw. Pops. Ye old man. So informal. So funny. Lilia loves it and Silver turns red every time. One? Because you’re already thinking of him and his Father as your family. Two? Please. Please, let him breathe. Flustered is the most consistent emotion he shows aside from that graceful little smile of his, and people are starting to notice. He’s not used to such bluntness and it’s killing him. You need to be more careful! Not everyone knows about his situation! Lilia is such cheeky as shit over it and teases his son every off moment. Welcome to the Vanrogue’s, my friend. It’s a clusterf*ck. You’re going to love it.

“…N-no, I haven’t seen father since lunch. Perhaps check over near the club rooms. I can escort you before my next lesson, come along and take my hand.” -> Silver will never get used to you asking ‘Hey, have you seen Dad anywhere?’. He bites back the warning for you to lower your volume. It’s turmoil - truly. He doesn’t want you to ‘stop’ per-say…but maybe keep it in private? He adores your energy but the rumors.

Compliments (Inherited): Silver gets plenty of compliments. He’s amazing, after all. This is a habit because his reactions are priceless. Why is it developed? Because the man in question is the most wholesome being to exist. He effortlessly drops one-liners out of thin air, and then has the gull to act confused when you clutch at your chest. Silver is brutally honest when it counts. His words and his reactions are genuine. Truly priceless. His confidence desperately needs that bolstering, so much that you never go a single visit without paying him a compliment. It’s only fair. You do it until he takes them with anything other than a pass off or a denial. Even after, because appreciating Silver is the best part of your day. Congrats. You’re a simp. Big Ol’ simp - side note, being so forward for his sake has turned you confident in other aspects of life as well. Congrats on being the social one.

"Your hands are unnaturally soft for a student. Perhaps I am used to callus' from training, but yours are warm enough to feel through my gloves. I heard once that you can tell a lot about a person by their hands. Yours must reflect a gentle personality, which is true - hm? What's wrong?" <-Wholesome. Fucking wholesome.

Animals (Inherited): How do you feel about woodland creatures? Would you consider raising bunnies, or leaving the window open in the mornings for songbirds to perch? The answer is yes. Always yes. Otherwise they will whack at the glass until you do. Silver is beloved by nature. Being around Silver means being around all the animals that perch at his side when he clocks out in random places. Eventually you'll be waiting with birdseed in your pocket, prepped to distract those that perch on his head. Ramshackle has multiple bird baths out in the gardens, and you've built shelters for the wildlife on campus to camp out in when they visit (always when Silver does. Coincidence? No).

Just Chilling (Developed): Not relationship-exclusive. Any time you find Silver clocked out, it’s instinctual to just drop everything and lay down next to him so it looks like you’re both chilling out. Doesn’t matter if he’s asleep for ten minutes or two hours - you don’t leave him. Not unless someone trustworthy comes to take your place.

Haircuts (Developed): A lil snip here, a chop there - and you're cutting his hair in the kitchen at 9:00pm with one of the old sheets tied loosely around his neck like a bib. All it took was one time for him to nick his ear while doing it himself, and you so graciously forced him in a chair. Now you cut both his and his father's hair. Since Lilia's a little turd, and if Silver gets a freebie than so should peepaw. Briar Valley could use another stylist, y'know. You already have two loyal clients!

"Thank you. My bangs can get in the way of my training, so I try to keep them short. Maybe I should adapt a cut similar to Kalim's?....Why are you looking at me like that?" <- Kalim's hair is adorable, but if Silver cuts off his shimmering silk-soft locks it will literally be a crime against cosmetology.

Alarms (Inherited): You sleep through alarms. There isn't much to say. Have you seen his bedroom? There's like - a dozen clocks in there. The only one that gets him up is you, usually whacking him with a pillow because no amount of love will ever make up for dealing with nonstop ringing every morning. You started off having a near heart attack on the first night. A few years down the road, and it takes about 2-4 of the clocks to go off before you're up.

The Way Of The Sword (Inherited and Developed?): Another one without much to elaborate. Silver insists on teaching you some swordsmanship. He does not play around either, and is a very stern teacher. Lilia engrained the danger of weaponry and battle into him from childhood.

"Steel your nerves. They will only impede your progress. Do not worry about anything other than my instruction while there is a blade in your hand. I am here for that." <-The sword exists to protect, but that does not mean you are invincible. He won't put you through a Knight's training - but as one of the few 'sane' people? Homie, you really need to learn some self defense. It isn't even about his feelings (although he does worry).You are a walking magnet for bad luck, and a firm understanding of defensive combat is necessary so you don't end up dead in a ditch.

Habits He Steals:

Wet Wipes (Developed) : It’s so tempting to draw on Silver when he’s complete zonked out in the ninth dimension. How he hasn’t woken up to any uh…hehe, ‘special’ and ‘totally not vulgar’ images all over him on a daily basis is an honest shock. Especially in a campus full of dudes. Some not so friendly with the whole dorm rivalry going on. Then again…maybe it’s his aura. Drawing a dick on Silver’s forehead feels like a crime punishable by Lilia’s homemade gazpacho.

"...I sense a disturbance." <- Regardless. It’s your civic duty to make him a work of art…much to Silver’s reluctant compliance. Some day’s it’s heartwarming. He’ll wake up and find little hearts on his cheeks, or a note on his collarbone. A lipstick kiss left smack center of his forehead…which takes endless scrubbing to get off before equestrian club. "Mngh...ah, you're here father? I could smell jasmine and oakwood and thought - wait, isn't that MC's pencil case?" <- Other days Silver wakes up covered in tic tac toe games with his father snickering over him and your form making a speedy guilt-ridden retreat off in the distance - and yes, Ramshackle smells of Jasmine and Oakwood. From repairs and the herbal cleanings.

You’ve Got Mail (Developed): Squirrels make good messengers. It helps that you live in a dilapidated dorm with a lovely forest not too far for them to skitter about. It would be troublesome if you lived somewhere like Heartslabyul…Riddle would never allow Silver’s animal friends to stay. Since you’re so open to suggestion, and skittering about yourself, he’s made a habit out of using the animals for communication.

"Please take this gift to them, would you? Today is a special day, I must take precautions not to forget." <- He’s not too big on phones since he might pass out and miss a call…or forget. So Silver likes to pen his notes when he can and trust his little buddies to make sure you get them. It especially helps with big events like anniversaries or days he cannot make it home.

Mints (Inherited): Someone get this man an Altoid, stat. Whatever curse is on his ass, crack open that tin and shove three strong peppermints between his teeth. They’ll spark more than just a crack of the great beyond in him. Giving Silver a tin of strong mints is like giving a Victorian child one singular sour patch kid. You carry the things around to punish Grim. Y’all know it’s bad if the living garbage disposal won’t even eat them….now if we could just somehow compress Lilia’s cooking into a pill form, we might be onto something bigger.

"This is a remedy from your world? Oh - it's candy? Maybe it will work then...thank you. I'll update you if there are any changes."

The Open End (Developed): Silver’s precautions extend to all matters, big or small. He’s trained to be Malleus’ guard since he was a little boy, going through strict training and beyond in order to match royal standards. Some might think him cold, but his father raised him to care deeply, truly, and so he is proactive in ensuring your comfort. When at the cinema, he sits in the inner seat. Both so he’s blocking you from strangers and so you can have the chair with two arm rests. He walks on the street side of the sidewalk, shares his umbrella but covers you fully at the cost of his sleeve, gives you more of the blanket at night and once gave you his shoes when yours were pinching your toes. If there are two cupcakes, he pushes you the one with more sprinkles, and he never forgets to ask how your day is.

"Are you happy today?...I see. That's good. I've been working hard to not disappoint you as a partner. It is nice to know my efforts have been yielding results." <- Ever the hard worker. Silver works on your relationship like it's training - but not in a bad way. He just doesn't want to reflect poorly on you, especially when this is new to him and tracking his performance in a relationship isn't the same as studies or physical training. He could do with some verbal affirmations, just saying.

Smelling Salts (Developed) : Silver does not want to sleep all the time. He is determined to overcome it - and you support him by suggesting method after method. Sometimes it takes an otherworldly person to bring in new ideas? Another cook in the kitchen, y'know. Can you believe that in all of Twisted Wonderland, with their fancy shmancy potions and charms, no one thought to get him military-grade smelling salts (or trigger his fight/flight by putting a bit of Lilia's pot roast in front of his nose)? His curse is potent, but it staves the episode off just enough for him to get to a bench or out of a clearing. I swear - magic spoiled these people. It's a blessing and a curse. It's no cure but he'll take anything at this point. Who knows what other ideas you might bring.

"Mm...thank you. I am lucky to have someone as wonderful as them in my life. I strive to be a good partner and influence. Your compliment makes me quite happy. I will be sure to pass on the message." <- Silver's expressions are typically difficult to read, they're so miniscule. Yet it would take a blind man to miss the way his disposition softens. One might mistake the far-away look in his eye for an incoming siesta, but no. He's merely in love and excited to tell you how appreciative he is to have you in his life. Whatever dreams he has that night, you're in them. As always.

Habits you steal:

Volume (Inherited) : Spoken like a true Queen. Literally. Sebek’s volume blasts your eardrums like a child’s screech plugged into an amplifier broadcasted over the Night Raven intercom. Mans has his vocals, there’s no doubt about it. The thing is that Sebek won’t stop until he’s been heard, so you have to get loud for him to listen. That can be hard to tone down when he’s not around, and you have to remind yourself that Epel will hear you just fine at a level 2 not 6.

"Disrespectful! My human can speak to their desire, apologize for suggesting otherwise this very instant. It is an honor to hear their voice!" <-Aye...sometimes your volume hits the frequency where people cover their ears, just as they do for him. He misinterprets this as a smite on your freedom of speech.

Gotta Keep Up (Developed): Get those legs moving prefect. Ya gotta go sonic fast. Sebek-y long legs over here moves in big strides. Big strides for his big personality. One of his steps is the equivalent to three of yours, no matter how tall or jittery you are. He will out jitter you with his Type-A pacing. You’d think he was on a mission and not on a date with how Sebek zooms through a shopping mall. Sebek, honey, we’re here to buy clothes, not race the evil sales clerk and save Malleus from the storage room.

Bookies (Inherited): You never know when you’ll be stuck waiting around or following Malleus with him. Sometimes it’s a sacrifice you have to make for some quality time together, and it’s not so bad. Malleus is cool with it, Silver’s good company, and Lilia is mildly stressful company. You could just go on your phone to pass the time, but Sebek limits your screen time. No IPad partners or brain rot on his watch. Read a book. Don’t make him quiz you, ‘cause he will.

"I have been thinking to start a book club, and you can be the first among many initiates! This week we will be reading My Liege's autobiography as sourced from the Royal Palace. I can think of no better introduction!" <- Dear god, he'll put in the request too. Stop him. You love Malleus to pieces but 600 pages on his birth alone is just destructive.

Prim and Proper (Developed): It’s a bit hilarious that he takes personal offense when you’re not groomed properly. Especially when near Malleus (of course). If you want to follow with the troupe, you need to look the part. He’d likely ask for a Diasomnia uniform on your behalf if it wasn’t against the school dress code. Secretly though? He enjoys fixing your tie, hair, etc. It makes him feel useful but that sweet emotion gets masked by a scolding.

"Tsk. It is an honor to wear this uniform. You should take precautions to ensure your appearance doesn't reflect on Lord Malleus. As his chosen friend and my partner, you are a representative of Briar Valley. Step forward and allow me to preform an inspection." <- Sebek has more than one jealous bones in his body. They’re all jealous bones. Make sure he’s the one to fix your tie and not Rosehearts, unless you want him to sulk.

Battery Pack (Developed): Lowkey? Sebek zaps you frequently. Think the electric buzz from pulling out a plug too quick. The sparkles come out when he gets very emotional - which is all the time. So…yeah, you might secretly carry ointment for that. Don’t tell him? He feels awful. Not awful enough to stay calm when you ask him to charge your phone. Jokes on him. The anger zap brought it to 100%.

Habits he steals:

Response (Developed): Sebek has this teensey-weensey annoying habit of answering on your behalf. He thinks it a way of proving his devotion. Partners are meant to know each other down to the tiniest detail, no? So when he responds correctly, it’s like he’s passing a test by knowing exactly what you’d want.

"They will do no such thing! Your childish antics will only reflect poorly on your dormitory. You will not taint them into participating in needlessly reckless activities!" <- While his intentions are pure, the act itself can be frustrating. Especially when he puts his values in your mouth when chatting with friends. It’s a work in progress, but he will still become overzealous to order your coffee or recall your schedule if asked.

Handkerchief (Developed): Exchanging handkerchief with one’s partner was a popular courting method in the past. Considering the handkerchief Sebek carries is meant for his lord, him offering it to you is a grand gesture. Especially since he does not replace it with one meant for Malleus, as this is something exclusive to lovers, and carries one from you instead. If you don’t have one? Well - expect to get one asap. Author’s authority dictates that you will not disappoint him.

"The embroidery on this handkerchief is exquisite. According to Master Lilia, it is the same style as lacework from my homeland's establishment...and it is yours. Please accept this as a token of my affections."

Portrait (Developed): Sebek keeps your picture hidden at NRC. There's one stuck between his mattress and the boxboard, one behind his ID card in his wallet, and a small portrait he keeps taped under his deckchair. He cannot properly display it like Malleus' - partially from not wanting to disrespect his Lord and partially from bein emotionally constipated. Expect the exact opposite when he is older though. Listen. Do not try to tell me this man wouldn't commission an extra-large oil painting of his spouse to hang up in his barracks room in the palace. He's literally the blueprint of a fanboy, and if there's no available merch then us nerds get to commissioning.

Escort (Developed): Sebek Zigvolt can and will sit in the husbands' chair while you try on clothes in the store. He will carry your bedazzled hot-pink purse with pride, guarding the thing like it's worth millions. You can leave your cup with this one when at a ball worry-free. You have somewhere to be and he isn't on duty? Sebek is hot on your heels. He has no shame. Better yet? He's the one shaming anyone unable to do such simple things.

Gotta Slow Down (Developed) : Pairs with 'Gotta Keep Up' as he tries to match your stubby legs. At first Sebek attributed your slow pace to a lack of stamina, but no. He's just a jitterbug. Obviously he can't tug you along or stop every other minute for you to catch up either. It's funny watching you both try and forget to consider the other. On loop, a never-ending cycle. NRC hasn't seen a pairing like this in centuries.

Chivalry is not dead (Inherited...just not from you) : Lilia fucks with him and you’re subjected to many, many odd courting attempts…some he unironically takes a liking to.

"What must I do for you to reciprocate my intentions?! I have bestowed pearls shucked with my own hands, invited you to dance under moonlight, hung dried thyme over every door and given earthly offerings to all your kin! I implore you for transparency this instant!" <- Oh...oh, His trust in your batty elder wanes for months after being tricked so cruelly. Only until you accept (out of pity?). Then he feels guilty for ever doubting Lilia and begs for forgiveness. At least life never gets boring? Haha...hah...ha...

‘My human’ (Developed) : Sebek gets hit hard with a crippling awareness for your mental well being. He defended your 'honor' once and had it thrown in his face that he calls you a human more than your own name. Old habits die hard, and he prostrates himself on the ground as an apology. He really didn’t realize it came off so derogatory. Especially considering your relationship. Felt awful. Apologized profusely. Only says it in an affectionate way or with pride now. Tacking in the ‘my’ makes it better somehow? It's a work in progress.

"An apology is in order. My actions until now were unbecoming, and I am truly repentant. I cannot begin to beg for forgiveness, knowing that my words have struck you. I was wrong. You are no mere human, you are my human. A very special one whom I could not have foreseen in this lifetime" <- You know it's bothering him when he takes a gentle tone, looking directly in your eyes with shame open on display. Responsible enough not to look away and face his wrongdoing in the face. Even after you forgive him, Sebek will carry this lesson with him forever.

Flower preference (Inherited): In the language of flowers, which means a great deal to fae kind, he goes for the one associated with your birth month. Carries a pressed one as a bookmark, changes his cologne, and places a vase of blooms by his bedside that never seem to wilt.

"It is an honor! I shall never cease striving to improve. It is only natural that my partner does the same. Your acknowledgement is noted and appreciated. Please continue to treat them well." == Insulting Sebek is a challenge. The comment could be made with the most nasty undertone, but he only hears that you're behaving like a model citizen. You must, if you are beginning to resemble him in so many ways. Hearing that you are a positive influence on him is nothing short of baseline knowledge. Of course you are? He picked you to be his partner? Honestly. If people have time to sit around and gossip, they could go do something more productive.

Habits you steal:

Acronyms (Inherited): Does this truly come as a shock? Big L on your part if so. C'mon, this is Idia we're talking about here. Bro cannot go two sentences without pullin' some quote out of his mental backlog. Since you're stuck in TWST, not watching their culturally founding shows and cartoons is a crime. You'll be speaking in pseudo-lingo like how Spongebob quotes make their own language around these parts.

"Whehehe way to debuff your charisma stat - you might want to craft some mimic gear before Professor Trein locks ya in detention....n-not that I care! It's just that I'll have to solo tonight's raid and you're the one with the rotation buffed character!" <- On one hand? You get all his jokes and are able to translate what he says to other people. That's good. Less work for Idia. On the other hand? You get all his jokes and are able to translate what he says to other people. They're totes going to make fun of you now and it'll be his fault. You'll get lingo-lashed by professors and feel burdened and - okay. He'll shut up now.

Evil Laugh Who? Villain Where? (Inherited): We all know Idia has two modes: nerdy and sofuckingarrogantheneedsacoldshower. You know exactly when he's feeling number two via his laugh. That over boisterous 'WHEE HEE HEE' which is way too high pitched to belong to a villain but perfect for when Idia's in the zone. It comes out when you're feeling especially ecstatic or embracing your inner gremlin. A bit more subdued than his, but you've seen him do it so many times that the adaptation is subconscious.

"Ah -?! What w-was?....No! NO I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING! Just hurry up before we gotta interact with more NPCS! Awahhh my blood pressure's already spiking back up..." <- He first caught it when you insisted on playing one of those cheap festival-games outside the main market in Fleur City. All he wanted was to grab a grape juice and get back to his group before they noticed he ditched, but you saw some handstitched plushies and just like in some mainstream otome, he just had to get it for you. It was easier than sitting there watching you get cheated by a sleaze. He was amidst convincing himself that he robbed you of the fun, handing the doll over while sucking down his second grape juice when he heard it - on one hand, is this what he sounds like to other people? Scratch that. No way he's this cute - wait. No. He didn't just think that -

Gatcha (Inherited): One of Idia's go-to hangouts is playing an MMO. The dude already gave you a console as a gift for what happened at S.T.Y.X. One inkling of interest towards one of his main games and he won't hesitate to build you a PC. He'll take care of the maintenance and even send over some matching accessories. Ortho will be the one to drop it off of course, but it'll already be set up with whatever games he thinks you'll want to tag-team in and some extra money to explore on your own....and thus, the addiction begins.

"Hey, press this button for me real quick. I need to test something. N-no! I'm not setting you up, uggh just do it would you?" <- Your pulls are better than his and Idia can't decide if lady luck is smiting or blessing him. On one hand? Ultra rare pulls are going to a beginner account. Yet you're more likely to keep playing this way....fate truly tests the Shroud name every day.

Night Owl (Inherited and Developed): Freedom...is powerful. As the Shrouds are responsible for Blot Control, you're left with little to do at S.T.Y.X. You can work anywhere in the facility. As a lab assistant, tech maintenance, heck even the kitchens if you want - but Idia's on that night-life and likes to work when most are asleep. So you match it. Maybe not to a T - going to bed at 6:00am and waking at 4:00pm like him - but time does get a bit disoriented in a place where the sky is simulated.

"Why're you still up? This isn't a 24hr stream, y'know. Even I'm not crazy enough to do multiple all-nighters in a row...well, I'm off for now. Wanna watch the PREMO concert from last week with me?"

Vitamins (Developed): You take them. Idia is taking them. No matter what bro says - he cannot live off the Ignihyde snack machine. Get him the kiddy gummies if you have to. You started taking vitamin D in preparation for moving to S.T.Y.X in the future. Surely they've got something better than the options at Sam's, but you won't be developing Seasonal Affective Disorder anytime soon.

Snacks (Developed): A very simple kindness. Idia uses deliveries as an excuse to get you to visit Ignihyde, and in the future that doesn't change. Expect calls to do deliveries around S.T.Y.X and run 'confidential' reports whenever he's antsy for a visit. We all know he won't explicitly ask...ah, it's reminiscent of all the bogus orders he'd put in at Sams so you'd stop by.

Habits he steals:

Financial 'Responsibility' (Inherited): You both are very bad with money - and by bad? I mean that Idia is a jerk who thinks he can solve everything with money. Minor red flag - something to address. Definitely the type to apologize by sending an unnecessarily gigantic stuffed bear or something akin since he's afraid of saying something that will make it worse. Then pray you don't say anything as he stews over a fight like 12hr simmering sauce.

"Please spare me your double-standards the next time you're shoving vitamin water in my snack stash. SRSLY, Headmaster's a worse deadbeat than I thought if you're living like this....uh, don't tell him I said that" <- On the flip side, he's also flippant with that Shroud inheritance and will buy stuff on your behalf all the time. He's the type to go 'Oh, I thought it was going to be more. You live like this?' when wiring you money for groceries (because Grim ate your allowance in tuna smh). As for how you're bad? You're just flat broke man, so he's responsibly irresponsible as a result.

Vitamins Again (Inherited): Bro. Bro, genetics are making you pale but that diet is what is making those eyebags so prominent despite having a decent skincare routine. You need Vitamin D but he needs the whole spectrum. His potassium is so low, that you'll be staring him down with a plate of cooked salmon in one hand and a bottle of vitamins in the other. Is it pushy? Sure, but you don't want him keeling over within the next decade. Eat the vitamins or it's time to raid his search history. Ortho, get them medical reports out stat.

RPG (Developed): Every chance he gets, Idia will model his MC after you in an RPG. A character customization screen HATES to see this man coming, because he will sit there for hours until it is as close to your image as the system allows. You won't even know since he plays these games solo and has photographic memory to recreate you without a reference. If caught, will deny it despite the evidence being right there. Flat out takes this to the grave.

Sour Candy (Inherited): Fun fact? Citric acid is the perfect stimulant to shock someone out of a panic attack. You find the sourest candy he can tolerate, and it does it's job. If anything it creates a placebo effect, where when Idia tastes it he'll make an association with being anything but anxious. One time he ran out while stuck in a work meeting, and Ortho had to swipe a lemon from the cafeteria.

"Eugh! Sour! Sour! My tongue's gonna shrivel up like a prune! I should have knew this was a prank -" <- Proceeds to forget why he was anxious. Stops himself mid-rant, face sours realizing that you were right, apologizes under his breath and doesn't question you again.

Protective (Developed): Idia teeters the yandere line, to be fair. He's highly protective of the things he considers worth caring about - scratch that, the things he allows himself to care about - which are few. Very, very few. His self-doubt both keep this protectiveness in line while also fueling it. He is quick to convince himself that he has little right over your person, and that it's only a matter of time before his role gets snubbed or written out. Yet the moment his position becomes threatened by something he considers inferior? He hates the thought of some noface coming along and making a muck of your life. It's not his fault if you don't realize Idia's doing just that - but he'll be damned if someone else puts their two cents in, pushing him towards a bad ending.

"Hey - so uh, totally unprompted question that you can just ignore in all honesty - but what's it like living with so many ghosts? They don't give you any trouble or anything - 'cause if they do we've got a few empty rooms over in Ignihyde....only if you wanna! I mean - we're a buncha shut ins but it's pretty quiet and stuff. Okay, fading into the background now." <- Do you remember the Ghostbride? Idia does. Vividly. He also remembers you were the only person aside from Ortho who actually wanted to help him and didn't need cohersion. Stupid move on your part but he's hyper aware of the paranormal now regardless.

Sharing a bed (Developed): Unheard of. Especially since he's stated how miserable he was sharing a dorm - Idia surprises himself with this one. Not a single person would believe just how clingy bro is - but he's only clingy because 'you're' clingy - or so Idia loves to say if anyone teases him for going back on his whole 'solo for life' rants. He goes from the whole 'eww normie love bleh bleh' to 'oh you normies just don't get it because you don't have it hwee hwee'. Look. You're the one matching his sleep schedule, making him used to sharing a bed and having something other than a pillow to curl around - he didn't want to get used to it, he was adamant that this lifestyle was an absolute no-no, but now he's ten years too deep and he's screwed.

"Snkk - funny joke, Ortho. Almost got me there with that one. Inheriting any of my skills is like welcoming a one-track path straight to doomsville. You and I both know it." == Ever observant Ortho is very eager to share all the little changes he's seen in both yourself and Idia. Especially when the latter enters self-deprecation mode and is insistent that your relationship is nearing a band ending. In truth? Idia notices. He doesn't feel entirely himself anymore, and it terrifies him. Not everyone's meant for companionship, and for a long time Idia thought he was one of them. Someone perfectly content on their own with absolutely zero need for other people. Especially those hot-shot nosy hero types that would try to fix him without asking if he wanted to be 'fixed'. Thing is? You haven't pushed him to change at all - and he's freaking out because he's not supposed to want this. You're not supposed to want him.

[kurokawaia]

dabi, hawks, bakugou reaction to kid yelling at their mom ?

DON'T YELL AT YOUR MAMA!

⋆·˚ ༘ * FEATURING :: Bakugou Katsuki, Hawks, Dabi - (separately)

⋆·˚ ༘ * WARNINGS :: none really, bakugou x fem!reader, hawks x fem!reader, dabi x fem!reader, x fem!reader, second pov, reader is a mother, kids have a little bit of attitude, kids are around 5-8 years of age, slight spoilers for dabi! + more? MINI DRABBLES.

DABI

Dabi and yours first child has definitely inherited everything from Dabi, there isn't one thing that has been missed. Red hair, blue eyes and that same, quite annoying, sass and attitude. You didn't allow your son to have another cookie, keeping in mind he has had seven, causing him to retort, "Dad doesn't care! Why can't you be more like Dad! You're so annoying, Mum!" This wasn't the first time that your son has lashed out but it was never directed to you, so you didn't know what to do, you just stood there frozen with your lips slightly agape.

Dabi doesn't play around when it comes to you, not even his own child, no one will disrespect you, so you watch your son freeze up as he feels his fathers eyes glaring into the back of his head. "What did you just say? Do you want to repeat that or are you going to apologise?" Dabi asks, leaning down behind him, head next to his sons.

HAWKS

"You're not the boss of me!" Your daughter yells and you froze in place and you could feel Keigo looking at the both of you from the couch. You were both playing in front of the couches, on the plush carpet with her toys when you had told her, kindly, to pack up because it's time for bed when she began to yell at you with a tone you've never heard from her before.

Hawks makes sure to be a chill dad, being as nice and calm as possible is the best way to go in his mind. He doesn't yell, he never really has, so he wonders how she even learnt how to raise her voice. School, he realises. Keigo lets out a sigh before sitting upright from his previously laying down status and rests his elbows onto his knees. "I know I didn't, nor your mum raise you to speak like that, kid," Keigo scolds very lightly, but it's quite obvious that he doesn't sound very playful anymore. "Apologise," he says without any room for any back chat. Your daughter looks to the floor with tears welled in her eyes already.

Then, later on, he talks to his daughter about how to process frustrating emotions like that so she doesn't hurt her mama's feelings.

BAKUGOU

Bakugou truly tries to take the gentle parenting method that you opt for, but when his son is a carbon copy of him, it's really hard to do. His son has the exact same tone an attitude that is surprising for a kid to take on at that age but then again, his dad is Katsuki. "There's just one more broccoli on your plate, sweetheart, do you think you could eat it for me?" you ask gently and you were met with an immediate scowl from your son. "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I AM NOT EATING THAT!" All you could do was blink in shock, that was probably the first time that your son ever yelled at you directly about... well, you.

Beside you, Katsuki was about to drink some water but he stopped midway, glass halting in the air as his vermilion eyes lasered onto his sons. "You wanna repeat that?" Katsuki says in almost a dark grumble and his son immediately tenses up, knowing that he stuffed up. Katsuki will not have anyone talk back to you in such a tone, never. "You don’t ever talk to your mum like that again. Not unless you want me to ground your ass for a month. Apologise."

Your son mumbles one with his eyes to his knees.

"I didn't hear you, say it like you mean it or I'll consider that grounding," Katsuki says more sternly and then your son emits a louder apology while looking you in the eye which was enough for you. Because you knew that Katsuki at that age would've never done that so you're proud that he can make his carbon copy can. Instead of giving his son the little scolding later on, Katsuki gives you a scolding on telling you to stop being so nice.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

honey's a/note:: I hope you guys enjoyed this, im supposed to be working on my report for my assignment but i got bored ^^

[suiana]

bruh i was talking to my friends about our types in guys and i said "i like boyfailures, absolute losers" and rambled about how they were just so cute and I'd be going 'yeah that's cool babe, tell me more about your pokemon and dinosaurs☺️' but then later on in the dsy i realised bro what if i AM the loser and someone thought of me like that 😵 therefore i give you yandere! golden boy x loser! reader

basically you're a loser who doesn't think they're a loser. you're the type of loser who talks a lot of shit online about how 𝖘𝖎𝖌𝖒𝖆 and hot you are when in reality you can't order a meal without hyping yourself up for 5 minutes beforehand.

you'd be pretending you're hot and mysterious but the second someone indicates the SMALLEST hint of anything you're interested in, you go on full on rambles and rants. then you snap back to reality and realize that hey! you don't even know this stranger! and just... walk away.

you're the type of person to go to the doctor with your mommy because you're scared to talk to doctors yourself and you'll look at her when the doctor asks any question, expecing her to answer for you. 'so what's your name? looks at mother' ahhh reaction.

yeah. basically, a loser. with hyperfixations on anime/game characters that you consume millions of content of. you probably sleep with plushies too and read fanfiction before sleeping. or you're doomscrolling reddit/tiktok/some form of social media and sleeping at 3 in the morning.

enter, him.

the golden boy. the perfect boy with perfect grades and a perfect body and- basically everything. he does like 3 sports, speaks 5 languages, everyone loves him, he graduated from an ivy league or an ivy league equivalent, and he's going to inherit his father's company! rich, tall, handsome. he has everything set out for him. cool beans.

anyway!

you don't know how, and you don't know why, but this man is now in love with you. you... probably met him while working your minimum wage job at some fast food restaurant.

"hi, i think you're really cute. would you like to go out on a date with me?"

"h-huh? erm..."

yeah, you don't know how to react so you just malfunctioned briefly before taking another customer's order. but he wouldn't let up. not at all, because he'd find your socials and have HOURS of conversation with you, on total accident, of course! no dirty work involved. totally. just pure coincidence, just like god or whatever is above intended!

"heh, must be my aura that allowed me to get that limited edition skin... what do you think, best friend?"

"yeah, this is the one guys. I'm marrying them."

"what did you say, best friend?"

"oh, nothing at all ☺️ go on with your rant, sweetie."

by some stroke of luck, definitely not him pulling some strings, you get a job offer that somehow is related to- wow, what do you know! his company! so you leave your boring 9-5 job and sign the contract. what a nice friend he is!

"here, just sign down on the line and you'll be able to start working right away."

"wow this contract is really long, best friend."

"haha... right, I'm definitely just a best friend..."

a contract that definitely does NOT bind you to him. yeah, no, definitely not. nuh uh. what? you're trying to read the fine print? there's no need for that! it's all just boring stuff...

yeah, definitely no conditions that will allow him to legally keep you trapped with him... and should you ever try to leave. well, it's just not possible.

but hey! at least now you get endless cash and you even have this cool best friend who really seems to spoil you!

oh, and now he's asking to be your boyfriend.

"sorry, you're not my type... i like the losers. boyfailures, even."

"sweetie..."

..

...

yeah, so now you're dating. it's all cool. yeah, you... totally don't mind this.

"best friend can we get some chicken nuggets? i really want some chicken nuggets and fries, best friend."

"it's boyfriend, sweetie. but of course! anything you want ☺️ we can get those chicken nuggets and more if you want."

okay well, at least it's not that bad... he's rich and handsome, he spoils you and loves you! like those guys in fanfiction, right? maybe a little too much though.

"sweetie, I'm throwing away all your merchandise of this man thing, okay? I'm replacing it with merchandise of me."

"don't tell me you're already throwing it away..."

"☺️"

"we're OVER."

[chowadoe]

my Metamy kid!! his name is Dusty Rose :D ft. single mom Amy Rose and Absentee baby daddy metal sonic LOL

his name's Dusty Rose after Dusty Miller, a plant that looks like metal/silver. Dusty Rose is also a pink color ! it also rhymes with Rusty Rose. im so smart (/j)

born from Metal Sonic's core and infused with Amy's biosignature, Amy and Metal Sonic had a very brief 'thing'... eventually Metal Sonic was soft rebooted and sent away yet again, but he left a piece of himself (part of his 'core'? infused with chaos energy..?) to Amy, which then became Dusty. leaving Dusty as the last true remaining testament of their love

(I just love the idea of Amy with a Waitress style character arc... finding love again in raising her child and not the way she used to think, being spent with another person)

Dusty would be very fixated on the idea of love, after all his mother raised him on the notion of that. Amy's standards for true love and fairytale romance have definitely changed being with Metal Sonic, but the root message being that love is all encompassing and transformative.

He was 'created' to look like Mobian, and Amy treats him no differently than any other Mobian/human. Still, he believes that he should hide all the parts that 'other' him from society, which means his robot parts. (legwarmers!)

He's got a bit of a bad boy edge to him LOLLL i kind of created him that he'd be an emo kid. (fall out boy.. my chemical romance.. a bit of IDKHow) really good at electric guitar and part of a band. eventually he finds his passion is in lyric-writing (all those love stories and inheriting his mother's gift for writing love letters)

he often wonders what a beating heart is like, as someone without one. he's interested in the heartbeats and the pulses of others, but he is a total sweetheart himself.. still, even to other mobians unaware that he is an android (a weapon at that), it's still a little off-putting..

more abt him belolow

Dusty's core is already made/designed after Amy's biosignature, and in meeting other people, he's able to read their biodata and stash it into an archive, but he doesn't reproduce it onto himself. (though unsure if he could? either his code has a blockade or he chooses not to)

Dusty, additional to his stash of weapons, has the ability to shift too like his papa... become something similar to Metal Overlord but not entirely... like a half robot dragon boy or smth.. IF he's under the right conditions to have it pulled out of him. or something

Dusty DOES "grow" up. basically, he's an inorganic being whose core is trying to emulate/copy the growth progression of other organic beings.

As it would grow in size (and Dusty's cognition "matures"), his mother and her friends would modify as needed to adjust his frame, etc, but rarely were things ever replaced. Like a mollusk, its shell growing in size- but one needing accommodations. A heart bigger than its own body that threatens to spill- a chick that has outgrown its shell, well before its expected date- needing modifications to keep it inside and protected

Metal Sonic and Amy would have something profound-- one of those tragic, star-crossed enemies-to-lovers dark fantasy romance stories Amy's always loved to read about- but then having it play in real time and having to come to terms with the real world implications of actually having one. It's just that- a fantasy. and metal sonic would grapple with the ideas of love, which i think would be inherently dark and a little possessive given his upbringing-- but what him and Amy have would be sweet at the very core of it. so him giving a piece of his core that reads and adapts to Amy's biosignature and oops... accidental baby....

Dusty finds himself drawn to music. his mom and dad couldn't quite communicate love language physically (with Metal Sonic's claws and his lack of mouth) so I hc that Amy taught Metal Sonic how to hum and sing and communicate their love through music and vocalizations (which carried onto Dusty)

4th pic is Dusty doing breathing exercises with his mama... Dusty gets embarrassed super easily so him and Amy would regularly do breathing exercises so he doesn't overheat like a PC

[queenpiranhadon]

╰┈➤ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ✿ .ᐟ: While you're making dinner, you make a small offhand complaint about your husband's forgetfulness- however your children overestimate the seriousness of your tone and jump to conclusions, thinking you don't love their father anymore.

✿ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Fluffff, Satoru being a loving husband, you two are married, crack, kisses <33, you and Satoru have a daughter and a son, f!reader

✿ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Satoru Gojo x Reader

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: ✿

You're more than a little sleepy, having just woke up, but besides their looks, if there was anything your kids inherited from their father, it was their appetite.

And thus, when they got hungry, they got hungry - which was why you were being dragged out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5am on your day off, your daughter and son whining that they wanted pancakes for breakfast.

Yawning, you make your way to the kitchen, your kids impatiently asking you to hurry up and you chuckle tiredly, groaning under your breath as you eye the stack of dishes in the sink that you definitely knew weren't there when you last checked.

"What's wrong Mommy?" your son asks, bright blue eyes staring at you with such an intensity you can't help but wonder is your husband asexually reproduced because his children are carbon copies of himself.

You roll you eyes playfully, adopting a faux grumpy face. "Weeelll.. your father forgot to do the dishes last night being the lazy potato he is...so Mommy's just a little annoyed." You say, being sarcastic obviously - Satoru had came home exhausted from a late night at work, and so being the loving wife that you were, you set out dinner for him, knowing he'd be too tired to wash the plate right after.

However, your kids don't detect the evident sarcasm in your voice, the two instead adopted identical frowns on their faces.

"Do you not love Daddy anymore?!" Your daughter asks, aghast.

"What-"

Your son takes his sister's hand in his with a comical amount of urgency.

"We gotta warn Daddy!" he says, and your daughter nods with the same urgency- the two children now bolting to your bedroom.

You groan - what was the point of dragging you out of bed if they were going to your room anyways?!

Sighing, you decide to continue making breakfast, knowing that with the appetite of your husband and children combined, you could probably feed an entire classroom.

You're just about done, adding the last pancake to the sizable stack you created when you feel two muscles arms wrap around your waist.

You chuckle softly, feeling fluffy locks of white hair tickle the skin of your neck as your husband peppers a few sleepy kisses to your shoulder, reveling in your warmth.

"Mmm...morning baby..." he murmurs and you hum, rubbing gentle circles into his forearm.

"Morning 'Toru... did you sleep okay?" you ask and Satoru nods, his answer a little muffled from his face still nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

"Yeah...wish I could've cuddled with you more though..." he whines, and you can feel his dramatic pout against your skin.

"Aww...poor baby...is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" You say teasingly.

Satoru grins."Well...there is one thing...maybe a kiss from my gorgeous wife..?" " he suggests, and you laugh, turning your head to press you lips against his, only for two pairs of little hand push your clingy husband away from you.

"No! Daddy's ours now!" Your daughter says adamantly, and you gape at her in mock offense.

"What?!" you say incredulously, and your son nods solemnly.

"You said that you didn't like Daddy because he doesn't wash the dishes!" he says, and Satoru raises a teasing eyebrow at you.

"You said what?" he asks teasingly and you cross your arms.

"I said nothing of the sort!" you say, but your kids are unfortunately extremely stubborn. "All I want is a little kiss, is that so bad?"

Your daughter exchanges a glance with her brother before running straight at you.

"Run! And take Daddy with you! I'll hold her off!" she yells, grabbing some random whisk off the counter and jabbing it playfully in your direction, acting like a sword.

However- you knew that there was no point in fighting back, there was no need.

Because if there was one thing that could beat your children's stubbornness, it was your husband's love for you, and his constant need to shower his pretty wife in endless affection.

Your point was proven the moment your husband and son barrel into the kitchen once more, the latter trying in a futile attempt to slow him down by clinging to his father's legs - a small "I couldn't stop him!" being cried out as your daughter sends him a dirty look. However, before she can do anything, the little girl in scooped up into her father's arms, trapped in his embrace, and squirming profusely and Satoru finally smashes his lips against yours in victory.

When he finally breaks apart, he's grinning at you with a cheesy grin, watching your breathless state with those gorgeous blue eyes you fell in love with. (Your kids are groaning in the background)

Satoru: 1

Kids: 0

A/N: LMAO they're all so silly - lord forbid they're all competing for your attention one day 😭

𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @tootiecakes234 @gina239 @its-liberty-frazblair @lilyadora @callmeanythingyouwant00

@milkm4nz @lightsgore @skaiblu-e @that-one-lightskin @hahajsphaha

@mcgriddleggs @beaniesayshi @abinformyobsessions @sharycatx3 @riririr11

@ladygojooo

[chuluoyi]

✎ treasure

- gojo satoru x reader

the strongest sorcerer meets his match in his petulant son, who inherits his six eyes and is having trouble with them

genre: taking care of your son with dad!gojo, fluff/comfort

note: AAAA i love this waaay too much!😭 this brilliant idea gave me baby fever so bad came from an anon who so energetically dropped by my askbox, thank you! and seeing this artwork by Yoon in twitter definitely gave me more ideas too!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

"No!"

"Why? This helps—"

"That's ugly! I don't want to look ugly—like you!"

Satoru blinked in utter disbelief, and you broke into the most satisfying fits of laughter. In front of him, standing tall and sullen and very much like him was his own son, now barely five years old.

Your boy mentioned that he had been experiencing discomfort in his eyes lately, which also caused him to become dizzy. And Satoru attempted to persuade him to use a blindfold like he did because it was effective.

However, as we can see, his son didn't take his suggestion well at all. His bright blue eyes, ones your husband passed down, bore an intense glare aimed squarely at him.

"I..." Satoru sputtered, his eyes twitching. The sight was comical as no one had ever managed to elicit such a reaction from him. And no one ever considered him an unattractive person too! "I'm not—"

"You are!"

Once again, you let out a triumphant cackle, and this time your husband shot you a glare. But you didn't care. All those years of tolerating his antics had paid off. His son had finally put him in his place!

When he was a baby, you thought your son was Gojo Satoru incarnate. He was the spitting image of him—with all gaits and expressions too. And you had worried if he would turn out to be just as much of a menace as he was.

But apparently, life has other sweet plans because like you, he was a relatively calm boy, diligent, and didn't like to make a fuss. Satoru argued that it was definitely in his genes—claiming he had also been a sweetheart when he was a child, but you couldn't quite imagine him being remotely as reserved as your son.

That aside, the cause of this hilarious exchange did actually make you worry a bit.

"Look, I know it probably looks odd," Satoru gestured at the blindfold in his hand, but your little boy still didn't seem convinced by the pout he displayed. "But it will help you, I promise. If only you would—"

Oh, but it was almost like karma because besides his appearance, the other trait your son inherited from your husband was his strong sense of winning.

His face reddened from sheer indignation, and he once again screamed, "I don't want to! I'll just cover my eyes with—" he took a nearby napkin and pulled them over his eyes, "—this!"

Satoru sighed in annoyance, and you decided to jump in. Crouching down next to him, you gently pried the napkin from his hand.

"Papa just wants to help you, okay?" you reasoned, cupping his plump cheeks. Gods, he used to be this round thing in your and Satoru's arms and now he was already this big. "He uses it everyday and he has no problems, see?"

"But it doesn't look good..." Your son drooped his head in disappointment, and you could feel Satoru rolling his eyes beside you, evidently miffed at the thought of him being less than good-looking.

Parenting is challenging, especially when your husband still holds onto some of his childlike tendencies. So you decided to end the discussion here.

It was later at noon, while you were in the kitchen preparing lunch when you heard your son's scream and something crashing. Your heart was in your throat as you rushed to the backyard, only to see something that made your heart lurch even more.

Your sweet boy was wailing on the ground, clutching his head, and Satoru—

His expression was as horrified as yours if not more, as he ran and caught your son in his arms, pressing him tightly against his chest as if shielding him from the sun altogether. "Shit. Hey, hey—buddy, you okay?”

Satoru lifted him up and carried him inside. You were right beside him as he settled on the sofa, gently hushing your son, who was still shaking and had his eyes covered against his chest.

"M-My head..." your son whimpered, tears streaming down his chubby cheeks. "...h-hurts..."

"It's okay, it's okay..." he murmured, caressing the child's hair in a soothing manner, and it reminded you so much of what he would do to you in the early mornings. "I've got you now, nothing’s going to happen to you. Hang on a little longer, yeah?"

You felt warm tears threatening to well up in your eyes at the sight. It was heart-wrenching to see your son in such torment, and the way your husband was consoling him deeply touched you. It served as a poignant reminder of just how many years had passed from when Gojo Satoru was still that brat who used to mess with you during high school.

Soon, your little boy's breathing became even, and he went to sleep in Satoru's comforting embrace.

You looked at him while biting your lip, undiluted worry in your voice. "What should we do? He's been experiencing pain often lately..."

Satoru really wanted to wipe that expression from your face, but with his precious child clinging onto him for dear life, even he didn't have the heart to.

"Don't worry, I'll be with him," he assured, a plan already forming in his mind. "If he hates blindfolds that much, then I'll get him some pairs of glasses just like the ones I have—for kids. We'll start with that."

Bearing the weight of his clan's revered eyes was a heavy burden, and honestly, he would prefer it if none of his children had to inherit them. After all, he went through it all too as a child—the manifestation of the six eyes' powers marks the beginning of life as a sorcerer. The perilous world he was still trying to keep away from his son.

Nonetheless, he would be there for him every step of the way. It was what he vowed to himself on the day he was born. He wouldn’t let anything befall him—or you.

You had calmed down after hearing his plan, and as you gazed at your precious boy’s innocent face in his protective grip and the gentle pats he gave him, you suddenly found yourself in a mischievous mood once again.

"Heh, quite the doting papa, aren't you, Satoru?" you winked, a teasing smile on your face. You could have sworn his cheeks slightly flushed as he retorted:

"Hmph. He is my personal little body warmer, after all."

[pennzance]

Havelock Vetinari is literature's most dangerous tyrant.

Astute, learned, and wickedly clever, there are no ends the man will not go to in achieving his goals. There is no one he will not manipulate, no one too important to remove by a variety of means, and no one so powerful as to threaten his position.

And this applies, most importantly of all, to himself. Who watches the Watch, after all?

But Vetinari is literature's most dangerous tyrant because he is at once, yes, a tyrant, but ALSO literature's most dedicated civil servant.

He cares for the city. And ONLY for the city. It is from this position of being the man who truly only cares for Ahnk Morpork that he derives his authority. After all, who cares as much as he does?

Vimes? Perhaps, but he's a married man and a father with private concerns that should take his attention as well (even if Vetinari has to constantly remind him of that fact). He has other things to worry about, but good job that man for sticking to his lane: a sledgehammer sized scalpel for repelling threats and keeping the peace.

Carrot? Certainly, but Carrot cares more for the PEOPLE than the CITY. His mind is on the present, keeping the ones who are alive upright and breathing and getting justice for those tragically cut short. He is not concerned with the welfare of the CITY, as such. Not with the future the next generation shall inherit.

The guilds? Self-interested fools who were happy to take what Havelock gave them: stability and a piece of the pie no sane person would eat. They are content to squabble over portions of nebulous power, and all of them recognize that if Vetinari were gone... well, it doesn't much bear thinking about, really.

The nobles? Self-interested fools who are UNhappy with what Vetinari has given them: a slow walk to total obscurity and an eternal life in the back catalogues of Twerp's Peerage. Besides, they tend to only be effective when they can convince others to foolishly do their bidding, and the market for such men has seen a suspicious dearth in supply as late.

The wizards? Certainly not. Tried that before, thank you, and everyone seems much happier when gravity remains consistent and no one randomly becomes newts. Let them remain in their university, fat, happy, and most definitely NOT doing any bloody magic.

Lipwig? Maybe. In time. If he is convinced that it is in his own self-interest and things remain... interesting. But he also has Spike and the Bank and the Post Office, and a man can only juggle so much before suddenly there's a chainsaw in the front row and an awful lot of screaming. Best to keep him in practice of course, but... no. Not yet.

Vetinari uses all of them. They are tools in his box as he tunes and fixes and cares for the Disc's greatest city. The Turtle moves, but so does the Patrician, and it is a close contest on who shifts greater mountains. It is easy to imagine more than a few of the gods on Cori Celeste are keeping an eye on him and wondering what he's up to.

Except for the smart ones. They are doubtlessly taking notes.