#and genuinely the greatest girl on this whole entire planet

[clarablightt]

your local ✨aroace lesbian✨ has been laying in bed thinking about nothing but her girlfriend for almost 4 whole hours

i truly miss her so much oops hehe

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

Ranking My 2023 Fics + hints of a planned 2024 fic (that im hoping to actually get done lmao)

I did this last year so I’m gonna do it again 🏃🏾‍♀️

Side note, before I begin, I would love love love to say a huge thanks to all of my readers, everyone who’s been interacting, enjoying and sparing a glance at anything I’ve written over the year. It tends to get really busy sometimes but I push through for you guys so thanks a ton :)))

ALSO I got a beta reader this year and they are one of the swaggiest people on the planet and I def would not be here without ‘em so an extra special thanks to @justicecaballer (who also has a few fics out) 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

OKAY LETS GET STARTED

1. dear, hello, salutations, love, sincerely, from, goodbye (8.99999/10). Im lowkey obsessed with this fic????

Like obviously it’s based off of my favourite movie of all time (DONT GET ME STARTED ON TO ALL THE BOYS-) and it also gives me the chance to explore Caitlyn and Vi’s relationships with their parents. Handling Vi’s grief AND being able to research lacrosse (I’ve been watching gameplay for the upcoming chapter lmao), something I’d never do if it wasn’t for this fic, has just been so fun. I still worry about my characterization of Cait and Vi, but I feel like I’m doing a pretty solid job right now. Also this is officially my longest fic to date and I’m glad I’m getting more and more comfortable with descriptions and getting better at pacing. The slow burn is kind of hitting I can’t lie, they’re so in love it hurts!!!! I’ve also been loving writing Caitlyn’s friendships! I’m SO GLAD I decided to write in Kai’Sa I’m obsessed with her. Jayce appearances have been few and far between, but they’ve been quite nice. I’m super excited to have this fic be finished and to get all of my ideas out!! More of Vi’s family dynamic is coming soon 🤭🤭🤭. ALSO, more scenes from the movie and even the book will be included I’m so excited lemme stop yapping!!!!

2. play stupid games, win gay prizes (8.8/10). SO FUN I CANT

This was my first beta read fic and also just one of my favourite fics of mine in general. It is genuinely so fun. I wish I added more festival/pride month vibes, but Caitlyn and Vi annoying each other did it enough I think LOL. That vibe of them just being the biggest nuisances to each other unfortunately didn’t last super long in the show so exploring it in this fic was exciting! The make out scene most definitely hit………. Like come on they’re soooo obsessed with each other it’s embarrassing. The bingo scene was most definitely iconic!!! The twister scene was too! It was just an entire bundle of fun no one gets it. Maybe I’ll post my notes for this fic. Part two…… is in the works…. Expect it by spring maybe?????

3. fix my galentine (7.5/10). Cutie patooties 🤭

I’m sorry but the whole “lemme just break something in my house so hot lady comes over to fix it” just kind of hits to me???? Like Caitlyn was so disastrously down bad it was the cutest thing ever. The reveal of what Mel (the greatest wing woman of all time) asked Vi was just so fun as well. There was no angst or anything in this one, it was just cute valentine vibes and flowers and love and all of those gross stuff so it was great to get out and enjoy. LET THE GIRLS BE HAPPY! I also thought a lot about Caitlyn’s job in this, weirdly. She was Hextech’s lawyer and something about that is just so fun to me lol. Was also thinking about a scene where some pipe bursts in the company building and Vi’s called to fix it and everyone is drooling over Vi but Vi’s just waiting for her job to be done to see Cait in her office and in a suit 🤭. First person was definitely a choice but I don’t think it hurt the fic all too much. ANYWAY, super cute and super fun.

4. who tf is this girl (6.5/10). Anniversaire 🤞🏾

Honestly nothing too interesting. A short little one shot to pair with the first ever fic I wrote and posted on ao3. It was just a fun little thing. I don’t know if Caitlyn would really be a jealous person…. Protective, most definitely, but jealous just doesn’t fit her too much in my opinion. It was nice little thing tho that I still enjoyed writing and finishing. I think I could see a lot of my improvement from the og fic to my this one. I just love their established relationship shenanigans idk let them be a normal couple fr.

5. hunting prize (6/10). Ooooo suffering.

SORRY THIS IS LAST LMAO. This fic was lowkey just exhausting to get through lol. It most definitely is not the worst thing in the world, but I’m starting to realize how draining it is to just write constant suffering. It’s still technically incomplete lmao. The last chapter is supposed to be about a year or more later. Caitlyn wipes out the enforcers and brings in the Wardens and then asks Vi to be the Undercity lead for them as they dance at a ball for the official announcement. I appreciate everyone who stuck with this fic because it took soooo long to actually finish. Whump is just really not my thing lol. I have yet to truly do the canon verse any justice in one of my fics but next year I’m locking in, I swear.

This year has been so great for my fics and everything, so a massive thanks again for all of you friends :))))

MORE TO COME!!! Count on it :)

Idk when I’m finally gonna get this one done but expect it probably mid year!!!????

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

have I ever talked about my theory that Phantom Planet could have been a dream created via a Nocturne/Spectra alliance because

bruh

that entire episode is literally all of his worst fears and also his greatest wishes all rolled into one weird nonsense ball

Nocturne knew that trapping him in a regular dream didn't work because he could break out like last time, so he teams up with Spectra to create a dream that felt more real and as a result was harder to become lucid and break out from

it couldn't be perfect because he'd know something was wrong and break out, it couldn't be a total nightmare because nightmares have a tendency to wake people up

so they craft a dream that has good and bad, his fears and his desires, it's still kind of bizarre and absurd but in a regular dream way where it feels normal until after you wake up and realise 'what the actual fuck was that'

like all of it makes sense this way, Danny is finally pretty confidant and secure in his ghost hunting, everyone loves him

but now there's a new ghost team that constantly show him up and make him feel useless and humiliated

he turns it around and realises he has a chance to be normal again, he goes back into the portal and it works! yay! he's an ordinary human again, this is what he WANTED

and then it turns out that his best friend is treating him like shit because he got rid of his superpowers, because maybe that was all she cared about this whole time, maybe she never really liked him at all

and then Vlad goes full supervillain?! it's exactly what Danny was always afraid might happen, Vlad is in control, Vlad has the world in his hands, and Danny is powerless to stop him, he's probably had literal nightmares about this

Everything goes to shit and then they make a plan to fix it and when everything seems terrible OH WOW HE GETS HIS POWERS BACK!! and he convinces all the ghosts to help him! he's a hero again!! his friends like him again!! yay!!!

Danny's dad beats up Vlad, honestly this feels very cathartic for Danny I can absolutely imagine him genuinely dreaming up this scenario

He saves the day, gets kissed by the girl, his friend becomes the Mayor (?????) and Vlad is gone once and for all and he reveals his secret to everyone and everything is good and happy the end!

I can almost hear Spectra and Nocturne throwing these plot points at each other, Spectra gets her hit from the fear and misery, and Nocturne gets his from the joy and happiness, win win for everyone

the problem then becomes... what now? the story they created can't just end there, how long can they keep milking this? how long has it already been? they're going to run out of ideas, the dream world is going to start coming undone, things will get more and more nonsensical to the point where Danny can't ignore it anymore and he'll realise something is wrong

eventually Danny's gonna wake up

and what the fuck has happened to everyone while he was asleep?

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Adam Maitland

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous) 

(I would most definitely write about your meeting story and him having a crush on you in more detail, if anyone's interested.)

- You met Adam while applying for a job at his shop. He was delightfully surprised when a pretty little thing like you walked in and inquired about the help wanted sign out front. His face immediately brightened and he ushered you into the back for an impromptu interview. 

- There weren’t many applicants to begin with and after seeing you, he just couldn’t get you out of his head so he decided that he had no choice but to hire you; and boy was he glad he did. 

- The two of you act more like friends or flirty coworkers than a boss and his employee. Adam is a fun guy to be around, he doesn’t usually take things to seriously, and the shop is never very busy so you have a lot of time to goof off with each other.

- Since you’re the only two people working there, you spend a lot of time together and become close fairly quickly. By the end of your first month on the job, you consider him a friend and he considers you his dream woman. 

- He asks you out about three or four months after he hires you. He doesn’t want you to think that you only got the job because he’s interested in you and he wants to make sure that he really does like you, the whole you, before he jumps to any decision.

- But anyways~ The two of you were closing up shop when he asked if you’d like to have dinner with him. Adam’s a handsome man, a sweet handsome man who treats you better than anyone you’ve ever met, so; even though dating your boss may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, you take the plunge and agree. 

- He comes to pick you up at around six and, in no time at all, the two of you are sat at his dining room table, eating a delicious home cooked meal.

- In the middle of dinner, his models come up in conversation and he shyly asks if you’d like to see them after you express interest in his work. Soon enough, you’re traveling up his stairs and entering the attic where he’s got the whole city display. He loves the way your eyes light up upon seeing it, especially after he turns on all of the lights. 

- He laughs quietly and shrugs when you call it amazing, modestly downplaying how talented he is. But you won’t allow that, insisting that “No, really. It’s wonderful” and quietly adding that he’s really wonderful.

- When you turn to look him, he’s gazing at you with a much more serious expression on his face; serious but soft at the same time. Your eyes meet his and you stand still as he slowly closes the distance between the two of you.

- His face nears yours until his lips are only inches away from yours. He hesitates for a lingering moment before he finally leans forward and kisses you. It’s gentle at first but it soon turns into something much more passionate, your arms wrapping around his neck as his hands splay themselves across your back.

- When you pull away, you’re both near breathless and aren’t sure of what to say. He breaks the silence by cracking a small smile and suggesting that maybe the two of you should keep the shop closed tomorrow. All you can do is smile, shake your head, and pull him into another kiss.

- Formal and sweet Pda. Adam likes showing people that you’re together; and just giving you affection in general, but he doesn’t like getting too intimate when you’re in public. 

- When Pda is happening, it’s that juvenile, puppy-love type of pda where you’re just always smiling at each other, exchanging quick kisses and lovingly touching each other. 

- He has a slightly strange fondness for being able to fix things on you for you, like if you have something on your face or your hairs getting in the way; things like that. He’ll gently sort it out, a small smile tugging at his lips the entire time. 

- He likes keeping his arm around your waist. He’s practically always glued to your side because of it. 

- Handholding. He has a habit of reaching out and grabbing for you whenever he can. 

- Neck kisses, he adores hearing you giggle as his lips tickle your skin. He knows all of your sensitive spots and uses them against you; he’s evil. 

- Piggyback rides. 

- He likes to lift you up in his hugs. A lot of the time, he’ll pull you up so that you can wrap your legs around his waist and he can plop you down on something beneath him and kiss the hell out of you.

- The two of you like to goof of with each other, always teasing and messing around. He’s pretty fond of playing little tricks/jokes on you and/or fake wrestling, though he makes sure to be gentle with you. 

- Getting pulled into kisses. He likes pulling you down into his lap or back against the couch and caging you in so he can get a proper smooch. 

- Once you get one kiss, you can’t get enough. He won’t let you go until he’s had at least three. 

- He enjoys nights in with you over any other kind of date. He likes simplicity and is a bit of an introvert at heart so being able to just have some relaxing alone time with you is a dream come true. 

- Pulling off his glasses so you can kiss him better. He always smiles against your lips whenever you do, he thinks it’s the greatest. 

- Getting called things like honey, hon, and sweetheart. He talks to you like he’s your1950s husband, and you know what? You can’t complain. 

- Sitting with your legs in his lap whenever you’re talking or watching television on the couch. 

- Sitting and watching him work on his models. Sometimes he’ll ask you to help him or to fetch him something that he needs from the other side of the room. You always get a kiss in return. 

- Cute comments. He always says the sweetest things to you. 

- He’s sorta clingy. It doesn’t matter what either of you are doing, he just likes having you around him at all times. He can never get enough of your company. 

- He’s a blanket hog and; oftentimes, tosses and turns in his sleep so the two of you don’t really stay cuddled for long. But when you fall asleep, you’re either cradled in each others arms or being the little spoon to his big spoon. 

- Playful massages when you’re stressed. He’ll place a kiss on your shoulder while making a joke, moving his strong hands across your shoulders and trying to ease the tension that resides there. 

- He’s always making sure you’re alright and comforting you when you’ve had a rotten day. He hates seeing you upset and always tries his best to cheer you up. 

- You never have to feel insecure about something when you’re around him. He loves you; every messed up and flawed part of you. 

- Lets hear it for all you tall girls who are reading this~ Adam loves you. He’s six foot himself so it isn’t an issue for him; not that it would bother him if he was shorter. 

- Chasing each other around the house. 

- Getting each other gifts for random occasions. 

- Sitting by the fire together. 

- Dancing; albeit clumsily, with each other.

- Stealing his flannels. His frustration upon finding them missing immediately disappears when he walks in on you wearing them. 

- Taking walks around town. He has a lot of friends in the town and always says hello to them whenever he’s out with you so people are usually very kind to you, even if you haven’t ever really spoken to them before. 

- Drive-in movies. He’s very fond of them, especially when they play oldies. 

- Going out and getting milkshakes; there’s an old diner in town that he loves bringing you to. I don’t know, something about him just screams adorably old fashioned, at least when it comes to dating.

- You’ll never have to worry about dealing with spiders on your own again. He genuinely likes them and not the small, baby one’s either, we’re talking the huge, hairy ones that could make a person pass out from fear. 

- He owns a hardware store so you know he knows how to fix whatever's wrong with your house. Picture this~ Adam in a tank top and jeans, hair a mess, and a light sheen of sweat covering his forehead and arms. …What more could a woman ask for? 

- He isn’t the most fond of driving so you’re probably the one who takes the keys when the two of you go somewhere. He likes taking the time to watch you, the way your face changes, the shape of your hands wrapped around the steering wheel. How did he manage to get the most beautiful girl on the planet? 

- Soft, sweet kisses. He’s usually pretty gentle with you but he can definitely get a little rougher when things get heated. 

- Teasing each other. He likes saying jokingly hypocritical things and covering your mouth or insisting that “it’s different” when you try to correct him, all the while failing to hold back his laughter.

- Talking about conspiracy theories and cryptids. He believes in bigfoot, we all know that, but what else does he believe in? What do you believe in? He wants to know. 

- Little drives around town. He likes going out and getting some fresh air with you, sometimes running errands or just wandering for the sake of wandering.  

- He’s a pushover for you. Anything you want will; most likely, be given to you just because he can’t look you in your beautiful eyes and say no. 

- You don't really expect it from him but Adam can get surprisingly jealous when it comes to you though you live in a somewhat small town so there isn’t too many people to be jealous of. Regardless, when he’s jealous, he’ll interrupt and drag you away from the person or snap at them, especially if they don’t get the hint. 

- He’s when it comes to you, always butting in when he see’s someone or something is bothering you and taking matters into his own hands. He’ll bluntly tell them to buzz off, leaving no room for negotiation as he steers you away from them or blocks their access to you. 

- He’s your rock. Whenever you’re scared, all you’ll have to do is grab hold of him and he’ll take the lead, acting tough so that you feel a little reassurance, even if he’s just as scared as you are.

- You and Adam don’t really fight all too often, he’s completely smitten with you so everything you do is wonderful to him. Plus, you just get along really well so there really isn’t anything to argue about.

- If you ever did have a fight, you’d probably just bicker, maybe raise your voices a little; mainly out of frustration or stress from outside forces. After a little bit of arguing, he’d snap his mouth shut and just go “this is stupid” before calmly trying to explain himself. 

- As I said before, Adam usually realizes that the fights you have are sort of pointless and shuts them down fairly quickly. He’ll apologize for whatever it is he did to upset you and then try to reason with you like “two adults”. It doesn't take long before the issue is resolved. 

- The two of you always seem to be in that puppy love/honeymoon stage no matter how long you’ve been together so saying “I love you” is very commonplace in your relationship. He’s constantly saying it and so are you; its just how the two of you are with each other. 

- I have to say this~ he would be the best dad in the universe and that’s a fact. You saw the way he was with Lydia, he’s the adorable, push-over, goofy dad that you can always trust to help you.

- He’s already planning your future together. He loves you with all his heart and probably bought a ring a month into your relationship, already convinced that you were the one. 

[liria10]

Favorite Benny books?

Ok so. Tumblr crashed as I was typing this on mobile. I am retyping it on desktop cause fuck this site, and I Have Opinions, and my friend I will let you hear them or so help me!

.... This got. Really. Really long. I am adding a read more to spare you guys from that.

Ok so! As a preface, I haven't read many VNAs with Benny in it, and of her solo books, I still have 2 of her Legion books to read.

I'm going to (re)start this with the VNAs!

Love and War: a very classic answer perhaps, but it is a really good introduction for Benny, even if the book has its flaws and can certainly show its age nowadays. Cornell absolutely nails her right off the bat, and from her very first page, Benny is just a character that keeps you interested. Not only does she work great as a counter to both Seven and Ace, but she also brings a breath of life to the whole range the way only a prose character can.

Plus, I think one of the greatest successes of that book lies in how Benny appears as a rounded and flawed person from the beginning. She’s not your ordinary girl dragged to a whirlwind of adventure and an universe of wonders, but an older, adult woman, with a good chunk of life experience and adventures already behind her, and while setting foot inside the TARDIS opens up a new and unexpected chapter in her life, it does also remain just that. A chapter. Benny had a life before the Doctor, and from that moment, while noone could have predicted it then, she would have one after him as well.

The Left-Handed Hummingbird: I just finished that one last week, so it’s obviously both fresh in my mind, and one I'm thinking highly of at the moment. Well I mean, it’s Orman! Or course I love it. She really is great at writing both intricate, large stories, and yet focusing on the personal, on the human side of things. And I find that this book does a great job at putting benny in the role of the grounding presence both for ace and the doctor, as well as exploring how time traveling as they do, and dealing with seven’s schemes can be frustrating for benny. That whole tardis team is a mess, and none of these people really… work well together, but it’s because they’re so dysfunctioning that they’re fascinating, and orman absolutely nails that.

Theater of War: A very different type of book, it is honestly a fun romp, and it has Benny being an actual archeologist, down to dealing with the academia side of things. And it’s the little things, but I love it when Benny books remember that about her tbh? Also, it has some nice theater theming, and well, as an introduction for brax, it certainly works well! It’s one of those VNAs that I think is just fun. A well crafted story with good takes on the characters, that’s always enjoyable to me!

Return of the Living Dad: Orman again?? What a surprise! But frankly, I love how this book is all about Benny and her daddy issues, be it with the Doctor or well, her actual dad. Between that, her budding marriage with Jason, and finding out so many old wounds reopened, I just. Really love how raw Benny can be under Orman’s pen? How underneath it all, she still has that side of the scared orphan that lost both parents to a war she was far, far too young to ever comprehend, and how that just left her rebelling against the world in general, and resenting deep down her parents for that abandon. I mean, it’s neat character stuff, but it can very easily be written as dull & cliche shitte you know? And Orman really… always get down to the heart of it all, and boi does it make for some great reading.

The Dying Days: It’s a very fun book, and well, technically works as the first round for Benny as the lead woman after all! It’s a joy all throughout, triumphant where it needs to be, and managing to both celebrate the Doctor and what he brought to the VNAs, as well as setting up the stage for Benny to go on to her own range. It’s basically one last run of the old team, and well. I do love Benny & Eight, and yes I am blaming Parkin for it. Also, big brained take to have Eight give her Wolsey because I love that cat and Benny deserves a cute kitty in her life. We all do.

Ok!! Now on to the NA, and my personal favorite era!

Dragon’s Wrath: It’s a fun one!! I do really like the story being centered again on archeology first and foremost, and it’s a good romp that has some really good take on Benny. Especially the trial scenes, I love how those one get down to Benny as someone who despite everything, loves history, and cares very very deeply about the artifacts she uncovers. Also, it introduces brax as a mainstay of the dellah era, and does so in a rather nice way. Overall, a very enjoyable book!

Beyond the Sun: Benny & students stranded on a planet with mystery to uncover, that’s already a fun premise, and then throw in all the various queer themes present, especially with Emile, and the whole scene of them all in drag performing on top of a bus, and it’s just a rather good book. Plus, I love how it mirrors the whole VNA Doctor mantra, except with a very Benny twist. Sometimes cruel, sometimes cowardly, but trying her damndest to do good. And well, that’s just Benny isn’t it? I always harp on about the very heart of Benny being her humanity, and if there’s something that book highlights, it’s that.

Deadfall: Jason takes center stage in this one, and well, I do really love Jason. It’s overall a fun book with some nice lore ideas, and I love how it works Cwej in the whole Dellah setting. Also, at least it’s a story with Jason in the lead that doesn’t end in utter tragedy, and that’s always nice!

Tempest: Ok so. That book isn’t great. The story’s cliche, the characters aren’t the best, and the plot itself? Forgettable, it’s another in the list of “sort of base under siege story in the dellah era” which you’d think wouldn’t be super common and yet! So… why am I listing it here? Cause the concept of the planet!! The idea of a world of storms and disaster, run through via a blind train as the only means of transport? The fantastic animal life described in it??? That book left an impression of me, and that’s not something I can say of all of the others.

The Medusa Effect: … Justin Richard writes a good Benny. Like, legit. I love how that one really works with the setting & history of Dellah, and gives further information on the planet’s involvement with the Dalek war. Plus, it also got some really, really nice aesthetics. I am soft for good aesthetics ok? Benny, dancing with a skeleton on the deck of an old spaceship made to look like a cruise liner in an hallucination/dream sequence type of thing? Sign me right up!

Beige Planet Mars: That one is a blast. I remember just, absolutely loving it when I read it tbh. Between the overall description of Mars, the further Lore Implication of the Mars invasion & all that, as well as it basically being one last round of more… Normal dellah books before everything goes to hell? It’s one i’d highly recommend if you want to have a good time.

Tears of the Oracle: Probably my favorite of that whole range? (apart from dead romance, which I am not counting as a benny book) I love just, how much overall… feelings isn’t quite the words i’m looking for, but i can’t think of a better way to put it… there is throughout the book? It was thought to be the end of the NA as it was written and well, that shows. I love how it weaves the whole mystery of “what happened to that legendary archaeologists?” with the whole side of what’s basically some of the only survivors from dellah going on one last round of discovery. The status quo of the range was destroyed quite a few books before that one, but imo, it’s there that they take the time to stop for a bit, and just. Deals with what that means in actuality. And ngl, I love the entire sequence of Benny & Brax walking through the wreckage of what used to be their home, it’s a scene that works really, really well.

And well, it does a great job at setting up the future as well after all! Yes, there’s still 3 books after it, but when you look at where Big Finish picked up… they went for what Tears of the Oracle was setting up. It really makes the transition flows well between those two, unlike my rambling for a full paragraph before going to “here’s the BF books I like”

The Doomsday Manuscript: A very good start for the range! Not only does it set up the whole collection, but it also introduces the Fifth Axis as a major threat, and does so in a wonderfully well paced book that keeps you hooked throughout. I like how it also sets up Jason’s loss as something Benny is still suffering over, as well as how she hasn’t lost hope in finding him again. Plus frankly, it’s also a really good story.

The Glass Prison: You’d think that for a book where Benny spends the majority of it in prison and not very active due to being near the end of her pregnancy, not much would happen, but the way Jacqueline Rayner builds up an atmosphere of unease, mistrust and a genuine disturbing ambiance throughout the book is just, fantastic.

Genius Loci: This book. This book!!! Ben Aaronovitch writes an absolutely powerful story of Benny as a young woman, lost and finding herself faced with far more responsibility than she ever thought possible. The way he writes the whole mystery, while also making Benny as a 20yo not only believable, but quite distinct from Benny as the adult we’ve all come to know and love is just. So good. My main grip with this book is how abruptly it ends, and how we’ll never get the sequel. I want to read Terra Incognita and more of Benny slowly finding herself damn it!

Dead Men Diaries: Just like Doomsday Manuscript, does a great job at establishing the collection as well as the recurring cast. I really enjoy most of the stories in it, and I think BF started out so strong on those books srsly!

A Life in Pieces: I love it so much. It’s pure brax at his most manipulative, and for such petty reasons. I really like how it both deals with the aftermath of the Fifth Axis occupation, as well as the repercussions Brax’s schemes have for the people living on the collection. Also, it’s just 3 very good novellas in a row that build up to something more, and I always like seeing that.

Nobody’s Children: That book has the best Draconian story in the entirety of doctor who and related. Like, yeah just that. It’s also nice to see the fallout of the Mim/Draconian war. It’s one I didn’t expect a lot out of, and frankly, I ended up really loving it.

The Vampire Curse: The middle novella is one I absolutely hated, but the other two are really good, and mixing benny and vampires is just, very fun. Also!! Predating the Predator is in it, and it is a really good take on vampires in a science fiction setting that also has some nice creep factor as well, and manages to be both a good vampire story, and a good sci fi story, which isn’t always an easy balance to find.

Life During Wartime: It’s a surprisingly hard hitting anthology about living under a fascist regime, and the compromises you have to make, the personal sacrifices and small rebellions. Honestly, there’s a lot I love about it, but certainly one of my favorite moment, is when Benny, having to dine with one of the officers, miss jones & jason, sees that the officer is nearly on to her hiding peter away, and that split second moment of “if I have to, I am willing to kill everyone in this room to protect my son” before he just laughs it off, it’s a lot of tiny moments that build up to a really well done ambiance tbh.

Something Changed: While it did the terrible, terrible sin of introducing Doggles to the world, I really love the concept of every chapter after the first being a different split universe, and how they’re all spiraling more & more out of control. It’s got some really good stories in between too, though they can also be rather hit & miss. An aspect I love about it too is how impactful Wolsey’s death ends up being.

Present Danger: That one is fun, I love how it’s basically everyone vs the deindum, a situation slipping more and more out of control, mixed with some neat stuff one the deindum’s whole temporal deal. It’s again a bit hit & miss, but it’s still a blast, and as the last anthology of the collection era, it does send it all off with a bang.

Welp. Far, far too many words later, and here we are!!! I love Benny a lot ngl, and I genuinely think that prose is the medium best suited for her. I have been rather disappointed with the more modern books, I find them far more bland than what I personally expect from Benny but ah well. Can’t always get everything.

And while it’s neither a book, nor even an official story in any mean, the fanfic “Sepelio” that’s an Hannibal au set in the Dellah era is great, and the benny story I have been enjoying the most lately. I would be remiss not to at least mention it!

[feelitstillmp3]

i was going to dump this into @time-and-space​‘s inbox, but then it spiraled out of control and became super long. so im making it into a post. heres some thinking abt doctor who/torchwood/class/merlin parallels ! (specifically abt the parallels between tenrose/janto/charlie x matteusz/merthur) (keep in mind that my knowledge on merlin is not so good) (also feel free to correct me if im wrong or add anything on) (also this contains spoilers for ... all the shows. pls watch them, theyre good)

ive been thinking about the whole theme between charlie and matteusz where theyre like ?? scared to lose each other ?? and how it totally parallels to the other things like .... we have one character whos different and immortal and alien (not to mention the trauma they've been through-), but another who is supposedly "normal" and human. so, they work with it right ?

but then theres the ever-present danger of what they have to go through daily, and the fear that its going to leave them alone. i mean, they've already been left alone, but now that they've actually fallen in love, its different. its harder now.

consider the following lines:

"i think of it every day, and the only thing that stops me is you." (class, e6) 

"i take it all back, but not him!"(torchwood, s3e4) (theres probably a better quote but no think, head empty)

"i could save everyone, but lose you." (doctor who, uhhh idk but i swear the doctor said something like it at some point, pls correct me if im wrong)

and yes, theyve felt this before, the pain of their entire race being wiped out, no one left but them, and everyone seems to leave them in the end. but for one second, they stop and actually think they have a chance for a while. someone who might stay.

ALSO it works as like .... the normal person is scared of the other, scared of what they can do and how they are ....

consider the following lines:

"im afraid of who you are, of what you're capable of, of what you will do" (class e6)

"you like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all." (s1e4)

"what about you, doctor? what the hell are you changing into?" (doctor who, s1e6)

the person who has been through so much is capable of doing so many things, and sometimes it scares the other one. but they witnessed genocide ! and theyre probably traumatized over it ! theyve probably done some terrible shit as a result of it ! both of them are so valid in being that way.

and another parallel i have just thought of, mentioned a lot already, but the recurring theme of killing off an entire race and how that affected the alien character ....

consider the following situations:

doctor who - the time war, in which the doctor participated, and eventually ended. // when 9 was planning to kill off the last of the daleks in the parting of ways, hesitating for a bit, knowing that it would end up destroying earth in the process, making them no better than what the daleks are

torchwood - jack's planet and how it got invaded, how his parents died as a result and why his brother did everything that happened in exit wounds. // ummm i think maybe how willingly jack was able to give the girl up to the fairies to save the human race, like hes seen what the fairies are capable of, hes seen what disasters mass murder can bring. he doesnt want to see it again. 

class - well, the shadowkin invasion, both on rhodia and when it happens on earth (both times) but also the invasion with the flowers ? // how much he really wants to just kill the shadowkin like ! he even mentioned it once ("i want to murder the shadowkin. every last one ...." e6) and he just wants to do it out of revenge. but “we shouldnt avenge genocide with genocide” (we're not going to talk abt how the only thing stopping him is that he would lose matteusz in the process)

but yeah ! theyve seen first hand what it like, and when prompted to do the same thing themselves, they end up hesitating, eventually choosing the other option instead. (well... except charlie. he does it once at least.) 

and finally, immortality. this ties in a lot w my first point abt losing the other person .....

doctor who - pretty easy to think about, the doctor has had so many companions over the years, and each time they end up leaving them. even after he meets rose, who wished to stay together forever ("how long are you gonna stay with me?" "forever.") but then she ends up leaving, the doctor is left to continue on for so much longer ..

torchwood - pretty same as above, jack never commits himself to a relationship, he knows everyone will leave him anyway. but then he meets ianto jones. and it all changes, he falls in love, which he said he would never do, and thats why he doesnt ever say "i love you," because once he says it then he cant deny it any longer. once he says it than he will have to admit that ianto, someone that he does love, is lost to him.

class - ok, charlie isnt technically immortal from what i know, but i am assuming he probably has a longer lifespan than humans (basing this off this line - "you want to know who would be the last one standing out of the five of us? i would." e6) so ! its mentioned a lot (and is the main theme, as i said earlier) that matteusz and charlie dont want to lose each other. i want to specifically point out the line “every day i think, please dont go where i cant follow.” (e8) because it just so implies that charlie is different. he can go places, live longer than matteusz ever can. 

going to add this onto the end here, but i just thought that actually merlin kinda fits into this too ! 

loss - the loss of his father, of his one childhood friend (will?), the knights of the round table (pretty sure a lot of them die too, correct me if im wrong) and even arthur who leaves in the end. everyone around him just seems to leave or turn bad 

fear - we all know merlin is powerful, right ? i mean i swear it says somewhere hes like ... the greatest sorcerer to ever live or smth. and yes, arthur doesnt technically fear him, but if we think about what would have happened if merlin revealed his magic earlier, when camelot was still under the rule of uther and arthur was still scared of ppl w magic .... idk abt this one ndjnsjd it works in my head okay

trauma - had to get some help from @a-confused-contradictory-mess​ here and she brought up some good points ! when he was younger, because of his magic, he never really fit in. his mother made him hide, because she feared what would happen if he found out. (i ... think?) imagine what that does to someone, having to hide something about yourself for so long.

immortality - after everyone leaves around him, theres kinda no escape. he has to live with it for all the years that his immortal life goes by. this ties in a lot w how jack and the doctor feel, with everyone around them making them left all alone. 

tldr: losing the one person they always thought would stay, one being scared of the other's power, the trauma affecting one of them, immortality and the price that comes w it are all some really good parallels between these ships/shows and genuinely kill me inside

[filmmakerdreamst]

Xena: Warrior Princess Review

During Pride Month 2020, I finally got around to watch ‘Xena’. A show that had been in my to-watch list for years, but never got around to start. And when I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised. It was not what I expected and it was everything I think my 11 year old self would have loved.

The one thing that surprised me about the show, was the lack of packaging. Even though it was a fantasy, it also played with different kinds of genres too. I’ve talked about this before in my other review - ‘Xena’ was made at a time when TV had very few rules/rarely had a set audience, since there were parts of the show that were clearly for kids and there were other parts that were clearly for adults (therefore had much more flexibility). I admired how they weren’t afraid to break barriers and touch on deep themes such as religion, morality, redemption, spirituality, motherhood, forgiveness etc - even more than shows of today are able. I also loved how they played into the idea of ‘murder’ and how much it can damage a person - not just the person who commits the act, but the many people affected afterwards. I wasn’t expecting it to be that extreme. It made me think that this must of been the inspiration for ‘Game of Thrones’. 

I see a lot of comments here and there, saying how ‘cheesy and terrible’ it was but to just accept it because its part of the fun. And while like any show it does suffer from the occasional spell of bad writing (the whole of season 5) but it was also shown to be very aware of that fact and never took itself too seriously - unlike some shows I could mention. 

And regarding the ‘cheese’ factor (what 90s show wasn’t) It definitely can be, but I would call it ‘camp’ and ‘experimental’ more than anything else. (Don’t diss the poor use of CGI - I’m personally sympathetic to what was avaliable to them at the time) The style of humour reminded me of Taika Waititi’s filmmaking. If you’ve watched any of his films such as ‘Hunt for The Wilderpeople’ or ‘Jojo Rabbit’, then you know what I’m talking about. I liked how little they cared about being accurate or logical, which added to the ‘bonkers’ element in the show - which you can see in all of Taika Waititi’s films.

In all seriousness, a show centered around two women in their late twenties, who are realistic sizes (not trying to play teenagers). One of whom is a reformed mass murderer, who has lived a life experience, trying to do good in the world for the first time, picking the other one up who has no life experience prior (after they bugged them until they said ‘ok fine’) in their path to redemption. Just two women who become friends travelling the world together, fighting crime, having a laff, learning from one another without any toxicity - when suddenly when the stakes are raised - they realise ‘oh I'm actually falling in love with this person’ I have watched a lot of badly written shows in my childhood enough to know that, that’s not ‘cheesy’. I’ve never seen a story like that in my entire life. I’m not at all surprised that Russel T Davis was inspired by it while writing the Doctor and Rose’s relationship in ‘Doctor Who’ since he’s gay himself.

What’s more amazing about their love story is how they’re both develop as separate people as well. There was this video essay explaining ‘Why you should watch Angel’ the spin off series to Buffy; how ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘was all about growing up and ‘Angel’ was all about being an adult. With Xena: Warrior Princess, you have both of those stories at the same time. 

Xena’s character was such a multifaceted experience to watch. And I can’t imagine anyone else who could play her as well as Lucy Lawless. What planet did they get that actress from? She's flawless! The amount of skill she has to put herself into a very physical role is astonishing. I personally had a love/hate relationship with her character all series long. Not in the way that I hated her, just that I couldn’t trust if she was all good or bad, which I know was intentional on the writers part. I haven’t seen a character quite like her before. She felt very much like a fallen angel; almost like the villain of her own story. Some of my favourite episodes come from fleshing out her character and dark past (‘Locked up and Tied Down’ is one of them) which reminds the audience that's she's not the stereotypical hero everyone expects. I loved her transformation from being this incredibly stoic warrior to being content and happy with who she is in season six, all because of a woman she fell in love with along the way. 

I’ve always thought of Gabrielle as the real hero and narrator of ‘Xena’. She’s the prime example of ‘a normal person becoming extrodinary’. Gabrielle’s coming of age story starting out as an innocent girl from a poor village dreaming of adventure, and ending as this vicious warrior who realises the ‘adventure’ wasn’t how she made it out to be is honestly the best character arc that I’ve ever seen. I loved how travelling with Xena made her realise her passion for writing (which was never going to happen in her home town, given the ‘sexist’ and ‘heteronormative’ ideas) and that she became a amazon princess like Xena. In regards to her sexuality, which is more up for debate than Xena’s (which I think we can all agree is bisexual) I personally interpret her as gay, just in terms of how she was written. Theres this moment in season 4 where she's being held up her hair, and Xena “symbolically” cuts it off ‘freeing her’. And she never really gets with a man afterwards, unless she’s being ‘possessed. It reminded me of a moment in one of Hayao Miyasaki’s films ‘Laputa, Castle in the Sky’ where the bad guy Moska shoots Sheeta’s ‘princess hair off’ which symbolises her transition from child to adult.

The cinematography was breathtaking. There was some great utilisation of New Zealand as the scenery. So was the soundtrack. You could tell it was made by experienced filmmakers. One of my favourite things about the show was the domestic elements - moments in the show where time seemed to stop - which made the world around the characters seem very real and magical. Even though it was a show that featured a lot of action/adventure, there was also this gentleness to it as well. For example, you could feel the wetness of the rain, the warmth of the sun and the clashing of the waves. This technique is used in Hayao Miayasaki’s work a lot .

The technique is referred to as ‘MA’ 空虚 meaning emptiness in Japanese. ‘Miyasaki describes this as the time between a clap’

“If you just have non stop action, with no breathing space at all, its just busyness. But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension” - Hayao Miyasaki

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The episode ‘A Day in the Life’ in season two is a really good example of this technique being used.

To my understanding, they used a lot of the local actors in New Zealand, which according to Lucy Lawless, consisted of ‘African immigrants and other different ethnicites’. It was so refreshing to see such a diverse show (despite some slip ups) especially in the 90s. I appreciated the idea that if the actors or extras couldn’t do an ‘american accent’ people could just talk in their natural speech which was also very refreshing. 

The LGBT representation was surprisingly amazing. I never expected so many queer characters in one show - especially under the censors. There was this one episode where they had a trans woman - played by an actual trans actress - win a beauty contest. It made me cry. Not to mention the actress was an aids activist. It was actually Lucy Lawless’ idea to kiss her which was incredibly controversial at that time considering how everyone thought you could catch aids just by kissing. I can definitey see how it validated people back in the 90s.

When people told me that Xena: Warrior Princess was one of the greatest love stories, I thought they were exaggerating a little. But no, watching the show in context, I found out that it really is. Despite its obvious restrictions, It made me realise (regarding token gay couples today) how often television writers rely on physicality and drama to convey a ‘love story’ and how much of it is actually pandering the audience. One of the reasons why Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship felt so genuine is because it was built on mutual respect/compassion and they were also best friends. I felt like I was witnessing something very real and private. It didn’t need kissing scenes or drama to make it interesting. 

It really helped that most of the writers were queer also. There’s this opening scene in season 4, panning over to Gabrielle giving Xena a massage (metaphor for sex - because they weren’t able to show that on screen) which I consider to be one of the most iconic scenes in media - considering how I wanted to sick up my supper when I watched the 10 minute ‘empty’ explicit sex scene in ‘Blue in the Warmest Colour’. The difference when something is written by a queer women vs a straight man.

Because the creators weren’t allowed to write their love story in the normal way, due to the studio forbidding them to, they found creative ways to showcase that love on screen - which made for a very magical/sensual experience. And I can safely say, if anyone has doubts about watching ‘Xena’, whenever I expected to be queer baited at a few points in the show, I was proved wrong time and time again. It’s the most romantical show I’ve ever seen in my life!

[ryttu3k]

Hello naughty children it's Gehenna time.

...which means I'm going to read the book properly this time and write notes on each scenario, partially for my own reference, partially in answer to an ask from @rayshell22livejournalcom​ from about a zillion years ago. Sorry about that!

Mood soundtrack: Godspeed You! Black Emperor - F# A# ∞; Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven; Yanqui U.X.O.

Prelude: Netchurch is an interesting character. Very skeptical, despite, well, the entire setting, although that's definitely, uh, broken by the end. Feel very sad for Afifa, who was a pawn in all this. Creepy babies galore!

Introduction: "While Vampire favors that futile, tragic, and - we'll say it - angst-heavy conclusion" - lmao you don't say. Although I do like how they have the consistent golden rule that if you don't like it, just ditch it! (Of course, the Gehenna scenarios as a whole have been completely retconned anyway by v20 and v5, so this entire book is a good example of taking what you want from it and ignoring the rest.)

"Some people are on opposite sides of this thing. They're elders who don't want to knuckle under to the Antediluvians (most elders will accept their proper place in the heirarchy again with the rising of their progenitors) and poor, misled souls who bought into the lie and are pissed about it (paging Mr. Pieterzoon). Bottom line: the Camarilla collapses like Enron/WorldCom as the worthlessness of its foundation becomes public knowledge. Chaos ensues among the vampire community, princes find themselves besieged by their own locals, and it's all a big clusterfuck."

Have I ever mentioned I love how VtM phrases stuff? Also F to Jan.

I like how they have a masterlist of what's actually going on with the Antediluvians. Spoilers ;D "For example, note that [Tzimisce] is simply referred to as [Tzimisce]. Even here at the game studio, our limited mortal minds weren't able to comphrenend the creature's real name." Lovecraft only WISHES he had eldritch abominations this spooky! Ennoia is 'Active and scary' and apparently spooks the devs just thinking about it. Makes sense. "Giovanni (Augustus Giovanni): Augustus is a pig, and he should probably die as one of the early events of Gehenna. He's the youngest of the Antediluvians and probably possessed the greatest ego (in mortal terms), so it'll be cosmic justice when he eats it." I love how no one likes Giovanni, even his creators. Malkav may or may not BE the Madness Network, in which case they cease to be an Antediluvian and just become... a part of the Malkavians, I guess? Absimiliard may or may not be chilling at the bottom of the ocean, because mood. Tremere / Saulot is definitely a fun one to play with, yeah. Although, oof, if Saulot ever gets control of their shared body, he's going to be fucked up if [Tzimisce] activates, so. Probably better to create a nice fresh body, like what BJD suggests with the child Saulot.

Chapter 1 - the lead-up: Basically a rundown of the signs and how they're interpreted. "An angel dies: How does an angel die? Who has the gall to rise up and slay one of God's firstborn? Or perhaps this is another metaphor. An angel could be a pure and gentle creature, or then again, it need not be one of God's angels (not that God's angels are necessarily pure and gentle). A feared and particularly vicious Necronomist Tzimisce, Sascha Vykos is sometimes referred to as the Angel of Caine. Many would rejoice the night that Vykos died." Hey rude :( I vote they kill Michael instead. He wants to be an Archangel? Fine, he can fulfill a prophesy XD

Honestly I really do dig that Ennoia Earthmelded with the entire planet. You can go so many directions with that, good or bad! Ennoia as The Beast Below, or Ennoia as Gaia? (Wow, that'd really fuck with the Garou XD) I love how the general consensus on Haqim is like, no one knows if he exists or not but lbr Ur-Shulgi is bad enough. Kinda dig the idea of the Toreador ante, Ishtar/Arikel, being genderfluid? I mean yeah essentially demigods have no need for gender anyway, but the constant debates over whether the Toreador ante is the female Ishtar or the male Arikel (or, uh, was it vice versa?) does lead to some interesting concepts. Ooh, similar to [Tzimisce] being linked to its entire clan (and the Tremere, anyone who's ever taken part in the Vaulderie, and anyone who knows Vicissitude), [Lasombra] may be connected to anyone who knows Obtenebration? [Ravnos]... yeah, probably dead. F to the clan. And yeah I think [Tzimisce] is flat-out the scariest one of all, and probably the one most likely to actually start the apocalypse, lbr.

Ugh this is one of the books that calls Sascha 'it' :-\ Do not like. ...Also do not like the suggestion that they're an unknowing agent of the Eldest, given, uh, the last chapter of the DA Tzimisce novel. Shoo! Shoo! You've ruined their unlife enough as it is!

Epistolary material! I do dig those. Most interesting: a letter to Sascha mentioning apocalyptic visions of New York but with the Carpathians in the background, and an anonymous letter to Hardestadt warning him of one of his line tearing down a castle that the writer feels believes the Camarilla. GO JAN FUCK IT UP.

And on to the scenarios themselves!

Chapter 2 - Wormwood: This is an interesting one. Literally a Biblical vengeance - God takes a good look at the Children of Caine and goes, "Well, this is fucked up", acknowledges that Caine never really sought true forgiveness and repentance, and sets forth Wormwood, the Red Star. The truly repentant are saved, the rest just. Die.

Herald here is a dhampir girl named Alia - thinblood father, human mother. When she's twelve, she becomes God's chosen, basically. Traveling with three thinblood guardians, one night, she's approached a Gargoyle named Ferox with True Faith, who sees himself as a fallen angel. And Alia offers him a way of redemption - find the chosen true believers, wait out Wormwood, receive judgement. Anyone can seek sanctuary, only the true believers and the ones genuinely willing to repent will survive the judgement itself. Alia and Ferox set out to find the other chosen ones.

Whew. Very full-on - the players remain in one place with a whole bunch of other vampires for forty nights. I mean, that's a test in and of itself XD All welcome! (Except infernalists and the antediluvians and Caine himself. They're fucked no matter what.)

Like. All welcome XD "Some Storytellers might feel that this character roundup could get too silly, suddenly having all these celebrity Kindred get together for a big slumber party, and they would be correct." Fuck that give me a slumber party AU XD

Am very glad about the note that the vampires inside only lose one blood point per 10 days, rather than every day. Otherwise, uh, it'd get gory.

Yeah, this is a really interesting scenario. Very character-focused, very introspective. All about the characters trying to work out what it means to be good people - not the strongest vampires, not the most powerful, but good people. Are they worthy of salvation? That's the crux of the story. Of course, it's very, uh, Biblical, heh, but it's first and foremost about morality and redemption. I dig it.

Also, giant vampire slumber party.

Chapter 3 - Fair is Foul: Ooh, this is a Lilith vs Caine scenario.

This one has the Withering hit in weird ways, including clan-specific ones - like the Banu Haqim only able to feed on vitae, then only able to gain sustenance from diablerie. Gangrel turn even more animalistic. Lasombra take to the seas, Obtenebration ripping holes straight to the Abyss. Malks, uh, leak madness. Nosferatu get even uglier, Toreador devolve into debauchery. Tremere develop third eyes, and yes, I did laugh out loud when I read that. Tzimisce... hmm... get a bit, uh, uncontrolled. And Ventrue find they can now only feed on... other Ventrue. Fun times!

"At your discretion, Lilith might be particularly vulnerable to Jewish True Faith, as the Jewish tales about her are the source of nearly every negative sentiment ever directed against her in writing. As a result, most orthodox Jews bear Lilith great contempt for defying her husband and her God." Yeah ngl I think she's pretty dang cool and I can just see, like, most of my ancestors facepalming at the idea XD;; Fuck obediance you do your own thing.

"Trying to work out traits for Lilith, Lucifer, Caine, or any of the Antediluvians would just be a waste of our word count and your time." I like the time they published a guide for fighting Caine. It was two words. "You lose."

Ah. Okay, Saulot in Tremere's body being taken over by the Eldest = scary, because have you ever been attacked by an Antediluvian wielding Thaumaturgy, Valeran, and Vicissitude at the SAME :) TIME? :) Yeah :)

Really dig the idea of Abel showing up as the first Wraith. The forgiveness element.

Overall, this isn't my favourite scenario, I think? It feels very chaotic, and while it's probably the most traditional to play, I'm not sure how much it literally challenges the characters, unlike the sheer soul-searching...ness of Wormwood?

Chapter 4 - Nightshade: Chapter starts with, "We all wear masks" and my first thought was "boy you have no idea" XD

Awww yes this is the masquerade break scenario! See here for my thoughts on that and how the Nephtali could be adapted to v5, heh.

Yeah okay earthquakes, volcanoes, and riots are normal enough. A horrible blood virus where it appears some flesh-like thing is living in people's veins and feeding off their blood sounds like something that starts with T and rhymes with Shzimitze. ...Probably. No one knows how the fuck it's pronounced anyway. Oops, those riots are apparently over the existence of vampires. Yeah that'd be... unfortunate. And more earthquakes, this time due to Kupala vs the Eldest. Whew. Red star, yep, standard. MORE earthquakes, this time due to the Second City rising. Sounds legit. Bad times all around!

The details on breaking the Masquerade are interesting. Basic emotions: denial, rationalisation, fear, anger, acceptance. The acceptance one is interesting, because I can definitely see some jumping to it straight away.

So, on to the scenario itself! Jan recruits the players to fight the... uh, mass under NYC. This is the corpse of the Eldest, which is more or less a giant fungal infection held together with Vicissitude, which frankly is just icky. This actually is  canon-compliant with BJD, since it apparently has only just... dissipated? or whatever there, or if it still remains, it's no longer conscious. In this one, its soul flicks back to Tremere's/Saulot's body and wakes up, and basically every Tzimisce, Tremere, and anyone who has ever drank Tzimisce blood (which would be the entire Sabbat via Vaulderie) spontaneously frenzies. Godspeed. Cyscek, a Tzimisce methuselah, helps defeat the, uh, blob at the expense of his life, and warns with his last words, "The Dragon rises. You must stop it. Find Vykos. [They] know." (Okay yeah the text says 'it knows' but also fuck that.) Ooh, plot point!

Aaaand then they retreat from the battle, exhausted, only to find the whole damn thing broadcast on every TV screen, vampiric Disciplines and Cyscek dusting and all. W h o o p s.

Lots and lots of details of a major masquerade breach here. Hardestadt shows up and tells Jan he's proooobably gonna get Final Death for, you know, trying to save the world. Gonna share this bit because it's Very Satisfying.

Please refer to my tag #hardestadt has no rights ;D

Anyway! The characters now recruited, Jan leads them back to London for the Convention of Fire. He's working with Calebros and... like a bunch of others, probably anyone can end up here, so long as they want to actually help and not just fall apart like the remnants of the Camarilla (trying to diablerise their way into keeping power) and the Sabbat (...ditto tbh). Those definitely in attendance are Ambrogino Giovanni, Hesha Ruhadze, and Fatima! And lbr the Nod Squad are probably there too. As if Beckett would pass up the chance to NOT witness what's happening with Gehenna. And Anatole is literally a prophet of Gehenna! They found the Nephtali, led by a council of twelve, with Jan at the head. Name means 'the highest point' or 'no further' - as in, Gehenna goes no further than this.

Oh lmao here we go, the scene I mentioned earlier - Jan vs talk shows.

F to Jan.

Tremere's body (inhabited by Saulot) disappears from beneath the Vienna chantry. Tremere's body, with [Tzimisce] now well in control (having overtaken Saulot; Tremere, meanwhile, has taken over Goratrix's body, with Goratrix's mind stuck in a mirror... it's complicated), wipes out the Vienna chantry. RIP to the Vienna chantry, which doesn't survive in either timeline tbh. Hey, I wonder if that means that Saulot (in Tremere's body) is dead in v5? Etrius manages to escape and reports that the Eldest is now on the way to Ceoris, where it'll call all the remaining Tzimisce to it to become, uh, a part. Pleasant.

Everything between Krakow and Bucharest is straight fukk’d. Ceoris is the centre of all this - IIRC it's somewhere in the southern Carpathians, nearish Brasov. Either way, hell of a fight results with what can only be described as an eldritch abomination, finally both managing to destroy Kupala (the Eldest's goal) and reducing The Thing down to a human-looking body. This bit is interesting! Tremere (in Goratrix' body) and Etrius take one look at each other. "Master..." "I... I know. But where the hell is Saulot?!" Good question, because he sure ain't in Tremere's, uh, former body any more, which was in fact what was fighting them the whole time. Either way, Tremere-in-Goratrix'-body leaps at [Tzimisce]-in-Tremere's-body and diablerises his, um, former body, which must be weird as hell, then tries to turn on the characters and his powers fuckiNG FAIL. EAT SHIT TREMERE. And then the players kill him too and realise that over the course of one night they've destroyed the demon Kupala and two Antediluvians, Tremere and the Eldest. Not bad. This is the battle that causes that second lot of earthquakes I mentioned earlier.

Back to London! They find the mirror containing Goratrix amongst Tremere's belongings. Poor fucker sorry not sorry.

And now the players receive a summons to escort someone from Montreal to the Nephtali headquarters in London! Namely, a Tzimisce named Myca Vykos~ They've recently defected from the Sabbat and want to help take the Antediluvians tf down. (Note: the book here has reverted to using he/him pronouns since they're back in their original form, I'm going to keep using they/them because biological sex does not determine gender identity or pronouns goddammit. ...Anyway. I AM going to use the name Myca since that's the name they're using themself, mostly because, uh, 'Myca' is a bit less noticeable than 'Sascha Vykos', haha.)

So Gehenna has started. Myca's woken up in their original form and being like, "Hey you know what I am preTTY SURE I don't want to serve the Eldest" and promptly joins the Nephtali.

From New York to London to Romania to London to Montreal to London (...London is a hub world apparently), now off to Turkey, to Kaymakli! Which is actually a real place, my brother's been on a tour there. Anyway, this is the part of Kaymakli that they don't show the tourist and that's been sealed shut with lots of angry Cappadocians instead, so that was fun. Presumably Kapaneus hasn't been chilling out there in this one.

Also Colombia has completely been overtaken by the Sabbat so that sucks.

Into Kaymakli! Which usually doesn't let Cainites back out so it may be one-way. Don't worry, there's a ritual for that. At the bottom, they find Augustus Giovanni! Who is pissed off he never actually got to eat Cappadocius' soul and so wants to eat God instead.

As you do.

The book very strongly encourages the players to kill him. Just 'cause. Which is a mood, tbh. Killing him also reveals a beaten, bound Nosferatu, having been Giovanni's most recent food source. An F for Okulos. He's been there for four years, having managed to get a lost fragment of the Book of Nod for Beckett, who promised to come back for him and. Didn't. Which is just rude tbh and I can kind of understand why Okulos ends up betraying Beckett in the Gehenna novel but anyway. (Not canon as of v20, he's perfectly present and chill in BJD.)

End results - the fragment that Okulos went to retrieve shows how to restore the Second City, which holds a complete Book of Nod and may hold the key to stopping Gehenna. It's in Enochian so your player characters probably won't be able to read it (book suggests asking Sascha or Ambrogino). Next stop, Egypt, and a meeting with Hesha Ruhadze! Man this scenario has a lot of signature characters. It also suggests getting third parties in here too, so Beckett would actually be a really good choice. Either way, they find the probable site, and suddenly, a Second City.

Archeologists make grabby hands. Beckett, somewhere, is probably crying in joy. They find a vial with some very old blood in it that they definitely shouldn't drink because otherwise they'll explode (the book uses Sascha as the example here XD;; ). Along with some mystical enscriptions, they return to London and get to work on the prophecy - namely, it suggests that 'the gentle one' (likely Saulot) will die at the hands of another, but arise in a new form, and will stop Gehenna that way. Etrius, one of the only Tremere left and having joined the Nephtali, goes 'fuck it what do I have to lose?' and goes to find whatever new form Saulot is in (potentially can also involve Goratrix here).

Hm. Well. Saulot is apparently in a research centre outside Sydney. Apparently we're mostly chill with vampires, aside from Christians XD Go figure!

Apparently it's a cloning facility. One of the rooms had, past tense, a child, successfully cloned six-year-old, who was in perfect physical form but vegetative from birth. Religious characters will pick up that it's because the kid's body didn't have a soul. Now, it does - Saulot's. Having been thrown out of Tremere's body when the Eldest took over, his soul fled until it could find the most suitable vessel - a soulless cloned body. No actual soul to have to subdue. Saulot ends up reborn, albeit in the form of a six-year-old and without any memories. Turns out, the child was taken by a cult of Thinbloods, believing him to be the messiah.

Sydney's messy situation gets described here! Short version, Sydney's Prince is/was Sarrasine, who was a Toreador. Except he wasn't a Toreador, it was a fairly open secret he was only POSING as a Toreador - he was actually a Caitiff. (Except he's not actually a Caitiff. He's a sixth-gen Setite. Sydney is Like That, yes.) Given Sydney's independence from the sects and its apparent Caitiff Prince, it's become a major site of Caitiff and Thinbloods, which Sarrasine is just thrilled about but can't do anything about because he doesn't want to actually go 'lol I'm a Setite'. Anyway, either way, everyone is unaware of Saulot's return, so the players seek out the little boy, who's pretty spooked and confused. Asks the characters, "Who are you? What is this place? What do all these people want?" and his third eye opens. Tada! Salubri Antediluvian, and like the prophecy mentioned, he's 'unholy' and 'a mockery in the face of God' - a clone.

Back to London with kid!Saulot. The Nephtali have been trying to work out what tf is going on. A researcher tried drinking from the vial. It was messy. The characters might get some downtime. Sarrasine's followers may attack to try and get the kiddo back. Either way, everyone goes to bed, and wakes up to find a Darkness having overtaken the sun, which is generally not good for anyone, and Lasombra characters are just, feels bad man. The Veil of Darkness means vampires can be up 24/7, along with other things that don't like sunlight, and I imagine things like... plants not being thrilled. Also probably very confused animals. I'm not sure if it's like a dark atmosphere, or a physical body between the sun and Earth that just eclipses it whatever vantage point you look from, or what? Disciplines like Auspex, Obfuscate, and Obtenebration go a bit fucky. Then, a few days later, everyone feels a... Summons. For low-generation vampires with still-living Antediluvians, it's strongest. Higher gens with destroyed Antes, not so bad. So I'm sure you can guess what's summoning them.

Yep. Antediluvians. Banu Haqim are getting summoned to Alamut instead so Ur-Shulgi can turn them into an army against the Antediluvians, so godspeed resisting that, Elijah.

Off to the city of Gehenna (it's nearish Jerusalem). Elders of all stripes have been heading there to kill their childer in hope of being rewarded by their Antediluvians to get their powers restored, which is terribly rude. Indeed, the Antediluvians basically go, hey, can you not, and also can you start Embracing more childer for our armies, because they're not very nice either. Pretty much all the characters have been summoned for their crimes against the Antediluvians, and now they're gathered before them - Set, [Lasombra], Ennoia, Absimiliard, Malkav (as like... a cluster of identical little girls with glowing eyes because of course Malkav would use the Creepy Child trope), and [Toreador], who's so beautiful no one can tell if they're male or female. When the players and child!Saulot get there, they question him, but he's literally a six-year-old boy and is spooked. He also has the vial, somehow. Set takes it, and Kiddo says, "Don't drink it. You'll burn up." So Set makes Kiddo drink it instead, because he's a nice guy like that.

Kiddo's third eye opens. A giant black throne appears. The dozen small girls that are Malkav say, "Father's home." Kiddo!Saulot says, "No, Father's dead." Girls start screaming so loud people start bleeding thick black blood from their ears and doesn't stop until Set kills all twelve. A random stranger, now with their glowing eyes, steps forward and basically goes 'wow rude'.

Powerful beam of light appears. The Antes (aside from Kiddo!Saulot) writhe in pain. Angel appears, asks Saulot if he's willing to atone for all vampires. He agrees. Throne explodes, Antes fuckin' die, and everyone promptly frenzies and tries to eat each other, because vampires. In the aftermath of that, vampirism basically... ends. The player characters may be rewarded by becoming human again, as do a lot of Thinbloods, but most everyone older just, uh, dies. Vampirism ends, but the Earth has been saved.

That is... hmm, bittersweet, I think. It's a pretty compelling chronicle, very dramatic, but it's much less character-based and is more, 'the characters get dragged along to Do Shit'. I kind of like the idea of it being a story involving the characters we know, but for original characters, I think Wormwood is a much more compelling scenario so far.

Chapter 5 - The Crucible of God: Okay I'm tired now and this is the 'rocks fall everyone dies' scenario so gonna skim-read this one.

This is the chapter that introduces the level 10 power for all disciplines - Plot Device. The Antediluvians can do shit because they feel like it. Whew. Also, if an Ante spots anyone of their blood line, they can just make them... explode and their blood gushes into their mouth. Monch monch. Spot another clan mate? Roll to avoid frenzy. Just woke up? Roll to avoid frenzy. Good times!

And then the Tzimisce Antediluvian awoke as a mass of Vicissitude flesh fungal infestation with tentacles and lampray mouths and stuff and ate anything in reach until it ate, uh, every living thing in Manhattan. In one night. Bad day tbh. Eventually it burns when the sun rises, but what's left underground is still there and shit's still messed up. Like picking a leaf off a dandelion and it starts bleeding. Trees with faces, swarms of insects forming into eyes and watching. Nice and creepy. In the aftermath, it's basically infecting every life form on Earth with Vicissitude, which is distinctly uncool.

Absimliard has an animal army and currently looks like a giant humanoid jellyfish.

Oh boy here's the Banu Haqim part XD;; Interestingly, it's a lot better for them! Haqim doesn't eat his childer, they feel themselves strongly bonded to him but still maintain their own minds and wills. Downside, anyone who doesn't follow Haqim alone gets hunted down so he can eat them, so Ur-Shulgi's probably having a field day at being vindicated and poor Pyre/Elijah is hiding tf under the bed. Plus side, it only lasts a few months before something kills Haqim, so hey! And there's genuinely a way to become human again, especially for high-humanity, high-gen vampires, so that actually would be a genuinely good outcome for Pyre/Elijah.

Malkavians end up as a giant hive mind. Like, more than usual. [Lasombra] covers the world in darkness, then it stops. Ennoia merges with the entire planet and starts eating people. And vampires. And Methuselah. And other Antediluvians. She's kinda hangry at this point.

Tremere attempts to rule the entire world using the Human Genome Project as the true name of the entirety of humanity. It lasts about two minutes before [Tzimisce] turns him into a meat crime, along with, uh, the entire rest of the world, aside from the players, who were part of Tremere's ritual and thus immune from it.

Also Saulot, who they just met in the form of a little old man.

Turns out, he planned it all along. Lured Tremere to him, knowing that his body was tainted by using Tzimisce blood to become a vampire. Knew that when the Eldest returned, he'd be succeptable, and Saulot would be able to bounce out when the Eldest took over. Now, he can lead the characters in the only way to stop Planet Tzimisce, which is, uh, prayer and letting themselves get eaten. Could actually work! And you end up human again in the bargain!

End result - all vampires gone. Some of the more human ones do end up human again. Either way, world's still fucked. Open Antediluvian rule for several months has destroyed most of humanity. There are still remnants - former Malkavians who are still a bit weird, former Tzimisce who are a bit... Vicissitudey. Ennoia's still around! She's mostly chill except when she occasionally feels like rearranging landscapes. Otherwise, it's time to recover.

Alternate endings - that last one wasn't depressing enough, so here's a scenario where All Is Tzimisce, here's one where there's global extinction of literally everything except the player characters who gradually drop into torpor and never recover (or just flat out burn if they're outside), or there's one where the players are the only vampires left and start a new cycle with them as the new Antediluvians or something, oh and Caine's still kicking and is Very Displeased that God won't let him die already. Gooood times!

Rest is how to basically play it, and character sheets. Which go back to calling Sascha ‘it’ again *sigh* (And using the whole alien look despite explicitly mentioning that they look human again. Of course.)

So, final thoughts! Gehenna is... an interesting scenario. Lots of possibility for introspection. It’s very... apocalyptic, and that may bother a lot of people, since, well, for the most part, it’s going to be the end of playing your character as a vampire. Which I figure most people are playing Vampire the Masquerade for. So it’s basically either a hell of a finale, or you just don’t make use of it.

Favourite scenario did end up being Wormwood. I just really like the introspection and opportunity for hope. Did also enjoy Nightshade, but in a different way, I think? Like for Nightshade, I’d rather read it as existing characters working together, maybe as a novel, whereas for Wormwood I’d want to play it since it’s such an intensely personal kind of thing.

(I also still want a slumber party AU ngl.)

[tothestarsandbackmoved]

Rant about interstellar

i have before but ill do it again!

interstellar touches me for many many reasons.

first off, the entire premise and setting and the world building in it. the dust storms, the failing crops. the protagonist does say at one point- "humanity was born on earth. they were never meant to stay here" and that just,,, hits me you know? presently we've seen the emergence of no human exploration besides the probes and the ISS. there are plans but the same curiosity just seems dead. interstellar stretches that and shows us what would happen when human curiosity and the desire to explore would die. we'd kill everyone on the planet and soon starve ourselves. the blights- the illnesses- the dead medicare- that's a very bleak future, but a very real one. the movie does both its part about scaring the viewer about it- as well as giving us hope about wormholes and quantum data and singularities and how we'd save ourselves. you can see that the old generation is talking about their days and how better or worse it would be. in the end, on the cooper satellites, you see the interviews being played- and it really breaks me. that was a generation that thought it was the end. the end of human life. the final descent and that was it. and then they see the five dimensions and getting lifted and their lives are essentially turned around. this isn't just the older people though. we see that the gen z then, like cooper's son have also mostly been brought up to *live*. we see that he tries to get into school and actually get into uni and find a job in one of the remaining sectors of the world which still offer something other than farm corn- raise family. You see that the teachers also say this? they teach them to fight blights and sustain crops because they’re losing more and more to disease each year. Humanity’s slowly being packed up and demolished and they aren’t seeing it coming. at all.

then there’s the quote which is recurring throughout the movie:

“do not go gentle into the good night”

the professor says this all the time. as they’re leaving- his last few dying words- as they’re preparing. and you know what? i’ll say it. this is where the next important theme comes in. Desperation. When he initially sends them out- he hasn’t solved gravity yet, and he knows he never will. Not without the quantum data from a black hole- something again, he can never get. Which is why he implies that there’s a Plan B and cooper can see murphy again (this is also very important- scroll down for this). He breaks all their trust- and he knows he’ll die before seeing the end of the mission- and you can’t die with guilt, not really. He knows that he can’t be held accountable because he’s dead. He’s well aware that his plan is a hail mary- and it wouldn’t have worked anyways. He’s counting on Plan B, and that’s all there is to it. He uses the quote as a reminder to himself- because he’s torn too. He isn’t inherently evil, at all. He’s the precarious thread the entire mission dangles by- but he’s willing to risk that too. He’ll be long, long dead before humanity dies- or moves- and this is his last try.

Now for the second part of this quote. As I talked about before- the quote feels more like a reminder to himself- and not actually something that inspires hope in the crewmates. But ironically, it ends up becoming what guides murph. As the professor is dying, she tells him “you’ve been doing this with both your arms tied behind your back”- that’s actually when she finds out about his whole plan. This is the failure of the professor- but at the same time, it becomes the moment he passes the torch to murph. The professor died, knowingly sending his own daughter into the reaches of space. He prioritized his need to save humanity over the love for his own daughter. But, murph isn’t like that. When she finds out about this, she remembers the promise her dad made to her.

“I’ll be back when you’re the age I am now”

and now, she knows he’s lied. But he hasn’t done it on purpose. and she understands that. She makes it HER goal that they don’t go gentle into the good night. She knows that this is probably futile, but she’s going to try. and she’s not going to try thinking that she’ll probably fail- like the professor did (in resignation for plan B)- she’s going to try to bring cooper back.

Third, coming back to desperation. A bold, bold act of desperation is what dr mann did. (I have some qualms about the actor playing estranged astronauts- anyways). Him sending out that sensor- knowing that it will bring humans back to him, while simultaneously jeopardizing the entire mission, and possibly the fate of humanity. He knows what he has done- but he has gone insane alone- and he’d betray his entire cause to see a human face again. This movie really says something about what humans are willing to do. On one hand, you have a woman who singlehandedly saves them all- for human love, and on the other, a man who is willing to commit genocide (that’s what i think it is, dont ask) to see someone else. He messes up everything, deliberately, and goes from “the greatest and bravest man to walk the earth” to a “cold and desperate villain”. This theme has a lot to do with what is happening right now too. Forgive the activism, but we do have people who knowingly exploit and burn and ravage the earth, for their own good- and they’re insane to the point that they genuinely can’t see right from wrong. Sure, you could argue that he was motivated by the need to preserve your own life. But if you give his cause *any* context, you see how wrong he is. This is flailing human desperation, pure and simple.

Now, approaching the themes that actually make it as good as it is. Dr Brand is easily my favourite character in the movie. We get to see her as a brilliant scientist initially, and her arc- is perfect, honestly. For example, take the wormhole handshake- as their going through interdimensional space- where time isn’t linear and your brain gets fried if you try to comprehend it- she recognizes a *being* in that space. If you recall that scene, she reaches out, and meets *them*- someone she knows is otherworldly and entirely above humans (we later learn it is Cooper in the matrix- and i have things to say about that too) and makes contact. She suggests, as both a human- and a scientist- that it may be love that transcends dimensions. She makes first contact with beings that may be their salvation- or destruction- and i think that is definitely the peak of human existence.

She argues that love may be what connected the crew to higher dimensions, and I'll dare to say that she’s right. Love is what made Cooper try to contact murph. Love is what made them dare to save humans. Love was what got her there. She tells them to go to Edmund's planet- not just because she loves him, but because she also makes relevant points AND her gut. It might be stretching it to say that was why she was right- but it is worth introspection. Dr Brand represents the best of humanity and she does carry it, doesn’t she? She settles on the planet for ‘the long nap’ in the end. She tries to save everyone- like on the mountain planet- and she loves. She hopes and she trusts and is unwaveringly honest and courageous. This could become a Dr Brand stan blog for all I care.

Moving on

We have the ‘them’. These are the mysterious threads that tie all parts of the movie together. A black hole to a little girl’s bookshelf. Worlds galaxies apart. A very important thing to note here is that the characters recognize that this is humanity, just very, very far out. And most importantly, wise. This is a civilization who has surpassed the ordinary dimensions, and *mortal* time. They could’ve easily saved all of humanity and given them the planet they were looking for. But their entire ineffable plan, and only putting things where they were needed- was what made them greater than just someone who helps others. Only being able to get binary signals through an intergalactic wormhole, building bookshelves that become a huge metaphor for humanity trying to claw at knowledge- and actually slowly pushing the books forward. The ‘them’ weren’t ordinary humans at all. They definitely hinted and gave me a brief, fickle glance beyond what humans could be- raw possibilities.

Then, we have cooper. This makes it hard to write for him- and do his character justice- but I will try. His character, essentially, is brought down to selflessness, love, a brutal, brutal sense of humour- and the courage- the heavy, heavy courage to sacrifice himself. He’s also the polar opposite of what Dr mann stands for. 

His first important point- in my opinion- is when the movie is starting. I didn’t walk in expecting this from him, not really. You see a dying earth- and this man is (alone in his fight, NASA doesn’t count yet) fighting the system alone. He fights for his son, tries for his father in law, and then the most important relationship- his daughter. He’s seeing an earth where not even *children* are curious, or willing, or interested in anything greater. He sees this in his daughter, though. Hence, the bookshelf- the gravity, and the plain curiosity. 

I’ll dare to say that at this point, humanity’s a dying, dying flame. And what he sees in his daughter, what we see in his daughter, is a rebirth of potential. She has the human spark, so to speak. He sees that, and he makes promises, and is willing to bring the world to its knees to protect her. And he knows he might not be there when Murph burns strong, and bright, and becomes the saviour of humanity- but he hopes.  An important element is the promise, which I mentioned earlier, but it defines their relationship. The promise that he’ll be back when they’re the same age. They both know that it’s not true. They can see the lie, but that promise also empowers them to do what they did when their paths diverge.

Cooper goes to Mann's planet with the vague hope that he’ll be back in time. Murph does most of what she does because she thinks that it’ll bring her father back. Even towards the end, when Cooper willingly jumps into gargantua, a supermassive black hole- which is the literal heart of darkness, he does it in the attempt to save his daughter, and hopes she can get the quantum data at the cost of his life. 

About Murph, we mostly see her through the eyes of Cooper in the beginning. A curious and lovable and stubborn tween who just wants to grow up with her dad and do their science experiments. Her perseverance is phenomenal- she loses her dad despite her warnings and asking- and realizes that her loss is something undefinable, but there. In a way, she grows to understand both her responsibility and her part to play, and why her father did what he did. The ‘ghost’ is another plot device- a mysterious figure who messes with the gravity and knocks her books down. And she sees a message there. She tells him about ‘don’t go’ and i can’t begin to describe how beautifully poetic and heartbreaking it is that they realize the significance of that at the same time, and how it ties together. It is hard for me to fathom that scene really- cooper is in an interdimensional matrix, inside a supermassive black hole, and he tries to tell his daughter two things. (a) trying to stop himself from going out and on the mission, which he knows is deemed to fail and (b) sending the quantum data, because that is what mattered in the end, anyways. The ghost comes full circle- and also says what he had to say, when it was most important. And for those who’ve seen the movie, i just really have to put this quote out there:

‘It was you. It was always you. You were my ghost, dad’

And in that, the movie completes itself. It talks about unfailing love, the peak and fall of humanity, and the potential of curiosity.

In this essay I will...

[keyofjetwolf]

Hi would you like some rage about She-Ra season 5?

If the answer is no, please don’t click below. For real. Really for real. I’m not looking to piss in anyone’s Cheerios. I think if you were satisfied (or better!) with the show, that’s fantastic and I envy you. As I have always said, love what you love. My opinion is mine and means precisely nothing beyond that. If you think you may be even a little bummed reading about how someone didn’t like it, skip this post and go on with your day, I promise you’re not missing anything worthwhile.

IN A SIMILAR VEIN: If -- before, during, or after reading -- you feel inclined to argue with me, I am begging you to please not. I cannot begin to tell you how much I don’t want to be argued with on this right now. I’m still extremely disappointed and cranky, and I’m not much in the mood to have a measured, reasoned debate about my feelings. Much as my opinion has no bearing on you, your opinion has no bearing on me, and as I’m giving you the option to opt out, I’d appreciate the same courtesy. If you want to write your own post on your own blog, go nuts! Just please leave me out of it. I PREFER TO BE CRANKY AT TELEVISION SHOWS THAN PEOPLE.

The rest of you, come on down. I don’t promise coherency, but I DO promise a lot of stuff said in all-caps!

---

Hello! Thank you for joining me! We watched the remaining few episodes of She-Ra last night! I hated them! Yaaay!

What did I hate? OH HO HO MANY THINGS FRIENDS MANY THINGS. It’s not just stuff from the final couple of episodes either, I want to clarify. It’s the entire final season, settling on last few episodes like the freshly fallen snow on your front lawn that some frat boys decide to pee their names into. By the time we’d gotten to these last episodes, there was really nothing left for me but confirmation of all the shit I’d come to hate. SO THANKS I GUESS FOR PROVING ME RIGHT

Which isn’t to say there was nothing to enjoy in the final episodes! There was!

5. She-Ra’s Triceps. GET BUFF GIRL. I LOVE how Adora and She-Ra look similar, but very much not identical. Adora’s no slouch when it comes to physical stuff, but they go the extra mile to show us how She-Ra is that much more. HOW RARELY DO YOU GET TO SEE A WOMAN WITH MUSCLES. I’ve been nothing but impressed by the ways the show drew the line between Adora and She-Ra, and however I felt about its handling of other elements, it didn’t let me down here.

4. Sometimes A Family Is A Twink, A Lizard, And Their Imp Baby. I don’t have further commentary on this, and I need none.

3. Welcome Home, Daddy. THIS WAS SO SPECTACULAR. Glimmer had, I would argue, the most realized arc in the story. It was so gratifying to see this as a culmination, not just of her own struggle with her magical power and ability to harness it, but her willingness to do what needs doing, however personally difficult. That was a stumbling point Angelica could never overcome, continually trying to micromanage and protect Glimmer rather than trusting her and recognizing her for the asset she was. Also though, more succinctly: YESSSS BITCH

2. A Shanty! THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS PERFECT NO NOTES. Just the right blend of silly and sincere, a genuine delight as even brainwashed Mermista had had enough of Sea Hawk’s shit, AND so much more clever than it seemed at first glance. THIS IS THE ONLY VALID HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN SHE-RA I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME

1. Shadow Weaver. SHADOW FUCKING WEAVER. What a complicated, fascinating character, bar none the most interesting in the entire series. I do think they pulled their punch right at the very end with her, but I AM capable of remembering I’m watching a kid’s show, so I can only get so disappointed about it. Mostly, she remained a beautifully morally complex character, and she was one of my greatest personal delights from beginning to end*.

(*) Boy did this show have one single solution for mommy issues though.

THAT WAS ABOUT IT. So let’s get to why we’re all really here, and that is MY SCREAMING OH MY GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN

Nah, I know exactly where to begin.

GLIMMER AND BO JESUS MCTRISKET I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AND SHOWER THE UNIVERSE IN THE SHRAPNEL OF MY HATE

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

WHERE DID IT COME FROM

HOW CAN I SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HATEFUL SPEWHOLE THAT SIRED THIS BULLSHIT

WHY WHY IS THIS HERE WHY IS THIS IN MY FACE WHERE MY EYES HAVE TO SEE IT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THIS IS THE MOST UNNECESSARY SHOEHORNED IN HET ROMANCE FUCK A DOODLE NONSENSE I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO BEAR WITNESS WHAT IS IT DOING IN THIS OTHERWISE EXPONENTIALLY GAY CARTOON

WERE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS

WHY ARE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS I ASSURE YOU WE ARE COVERED BOTH HISTORICALLY AND FICTIONALLY

ALSO NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED HETEROSEXUAL PERFECTION

NO MERMISTA NO WE ARE NOT ALL JUST LIKE OKAY WITH THIS

Oh my FUCKSTICKS, I could’ve rolled with so much more that angers/disappoints me about She-Ra’s ending if every single thing I feared about this hadn’t proved true.

AND. IT. WAS. SO. UNNECESSARY.

What exactly did pairing off Glimmer and Bo do for the story? For their characters? THIS IS THE PART THAT’S STABBING ME IN THE DELICATE WEBBING OF MY TOES. Because -- COME WITH ME A MOMENT SWEET ANGELS -- because I was under the impression that, oohhhh, I dunno, FRIENDSHIP WAS A HUGE FUCKING IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PASTEL HELLSCAPE

Is it, She-Ra? IS IT REALLY???? When not one but BOTH of your childhood friendship pairings end in romance? When you close out your five seasons with romantic relationships so painfully and specifically sown across the character landscape like an overzealous gardener turned loose on the world?

You know what you have at the end? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

THIS ISN’T A BEST FRIENDS SQUAD IT’S A DOUBLE DATE THAT NEVER MERCIFULLY ENDS

And again I ask, Why?? What was it about Glimmer and Bo’s relationship that needed them to become romantic? What was LACKING that this was the solution?

THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN SHITTING MIND I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS INSIPID MYOPIC TRASHBAG OF A CONCEPT

I believed She-Ra’s entire premise about friendship, I believed it wholeheartedly, and I’m so PISSED that at the close of day, narratively, it swept it all the bin. AND YES, YES IT DID, otherwise, WHY IS IT THERE. It serves no story-based need, it serves no character-based need, it has no NEED at all. So is it meant to be a “reward” to Bo and Glimmer for winning the war, as if their lifelong friendship were not reward enough? Is it meant to show they’ve walked through the flames and emerged with stronger, deeper bonds, because of course a relationship can only go SO deep without fucking. There’s no avenue to Romantic Relationship that doesn’t simultaneously point to something lacking in Platonic Relationship, AND I AM FURY PERSONIFIED

I am so tired of this. I’m SO TIRED of this.

And it didn’t need to be there. They didn’t even TRY to give us a good reason. That may be the part that makes me the angriest. Of COURSE they hook up romantically, of COURSE their platonic love would grow into “more”.

Fuck YOU, She-Ra. I thought you were better than that. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO BETTER THAN THAT

THEN THERE WAS CATRA

I get it, I guess. I mean, I think it’s shittily written, but I GUESS. Honestly, end of day, I just don’t care about Catra enough to really get too angry about it, particularly when as I’m so fucking incendiary over something much more important to me. But it’s also the show’s greatest creative failure, and even if I HADN’T gotten angrier at other choices, it would’ve still cut its own legs out from under it.

Catra’s “redemption” was weak and sad and did a disservice to her and everyone involved. She started self-centered and shitty, and she ended just as self-centered and shitty, only we’re fine with that now. She learned nothing and changed nothing, but also nobody ever demanded it of her, so I can only lay so much at the character’s feet. The problem is ultimately creative, where I think Noelle Stevenson got lost in her own love of the character, and somewhere along the way forgot that if you take them out that far, you have to be willing to walk them the long road back. Compare to poor Glimmer, for fuck’s sake, whose greatest sin was being desperate enough to be manipulated by the character whose entire fucking DEAL is being THE manipulator. How much shit did she get for that? How long was she punished? Meanwhile Catra becomes THE Big Bad for a while, nearly unravels all of reality in a fit of supreme lesbian angst and self-pity, directly leads to the death of the planet’s ruling monarch who also happens to be GLITTER’S MUM and DIRECT FRIEND TO THE SHOW’S HEROES, but that’s fine, you did one sorta good thing one time and even though it was also wrapped in a thick film of self-pity and a final fuck-you at Adora, all is forgiven!

Speaking of, Adora suffers just as much from stunted growth. From the beginning, her thing was control, unable to free herself from the responsibility of everything and everyone. What did we have at the end? Adora as the only one who could save everything and everyone. Yeah, they kept asking what it was SHE wanted, BUT THEN SHE NEVER ACTUALLY GOT TO CHOOSE. NOT activating the failsafe wasn’t an option for her, and while she wound up not having to die to do it, even that wasn’t her choice in the end, it was Catra’s. (Don’t even get me started on her nth hour “You love me?” fuckery when it wasn’t once for one single second shown to be a question of such life-turning importance.)

All of which could be interesting! That Catra and Adora went through all this, came so far to wind up right where they started? AWESOME. LOVE IT. FUND IT. But really all that happens is nobody minds now that Catra’s a self-involved little shit and tee-hee another Best Friends Squad Mission being bullrushed by Adora within five minutes of ending the last one isn’t that funny?

I can’t even dig much enjoyment out of Adora and Catra as a trope subversion (if one of them was a male, their romantic involvement wouldn’t have even been a QUESTION), because the show lost its fucking mind with romantically pairing everybody off in the final five minutes. WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO MY PREVIOUS SCREAMING SO I’LL STOP THERE.

There was other stuff, of course. I think it was a TERRIBLE decision to spend the last season with the focus split between the two groups of rebels, and writing half the cast into brainwashing. I think the Nettossa and Spinnerella stuff was wasted and lacked any punch at all because the show for some reason or another couldn’t be bothered to let us spend any time with them to care. The waste of Scorpia and Mermista especially (to people named Jet Wolf who are me) was fucking CRIMINAL. Speaking of Scorpia, wouldn’t her showdown with Bo have been so much more poignant if they’d had really any kind of interaction before that moment to build from? (Sure, it’s Scorpia, so if you’re going to sell the lack of context with anyone it’s her, BUT ALSO.) Hey, remember Huntara? No? NEITHER DID THE SHOW.

All my details aside though, MY MANY MANY MANY DETAILS, what kills/rages me most about She-Ra was how so much potential from the first four seasons was just flushed away. Whether it was the creative team shooting itself in the foot or corporate pressure and rushing from Netflix, I don’t know. I don’t CARE. This is the show I was given, so this is the show I have, and that kind of fall after that kind of potential doesn’t just irritate me, it makes me SAD. I wouldn’t be this disappointed if I didn’t think it could have been -- WAS -- so much more.

Time will tell if I can separate out the final season from how much I loved those that came before it. I like to hope so, because I did love it intensely and loved whenever I got the chance to really dig in and talk about it.

WHATEVER ELSE I SUPPOSE I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS

Again please remember that I am not at present looking to argue or debate my feelings and opinions. I get to just be angry and disappointed, as a treat!

[prettygirlseat]

TW.

Guys for anyone who follows me with disordered eating habits, anyone who’s in recovery, or anyone who may be triggered by this, i want to first put out a warning. i will be talking about eating disorders, binging, food, calories, and other diet-related topics. please read at your own risk.

So. I finally watched Shane Dawson’s “The Return of Eugenia Cooney”, and... wow. First, I had never heard of her before his video; I may have seen pictures here and there on Tumblr or other sites but I never knew who she really was.

At first I was incredibly triggered, and within 3 minutes into the actual video, I had to pause it and catch my breath because I (not expecting to see what I was seeing) was not mentally prepared to watch a video like this. That being said, the video was very good, but that’s not why I’m making this post.

If you’ve been following me since BEFORE I was even in recover and I was a thinspo account, you’d know that, mentally, I was incredibly sick. I remember seeing one of my old posts a few months ago where I documented what I ate that day, and I only had eaten 500calories. At the darkest part of my eating disorder, which has yet to be professionally diagnosed (for reasons I’ll get into in a second), I struggled to eat, my hair would fall out in large clumps, I’d have bruises everywhere from lack of iron, my skin would be dry and flakey, and I would be cold in 80 degree weather.

I suffered from disordered eating habits my whole life. Blame it on partly my problem with certain foods (food aversion & sensory processing, which led me to eat a very little variety of foods), growing up poor and not being able to afford the luxury of some foods, my mom’s lack of knowledge about nutrition, and other mental factors like family life and other mental illnesses. However, things got progressively worse for me when I was in 7th grade (about 10 or 11 years old); that’s when I first noticed I was beginning to purposely eat less and less food OR I’d easily eat an entire tub of cheese balls in the span of 2 or 3 days.

When I got to high school, I started doing cheerleading, and this was a problem because cheerleading is the type of sport (yes sport, stfu) where certain things are dictated by your “size” aka how much you weigh. If you were lighter/smaller, you’d be a flyer, which meant you’d be the girl in the air. If you were heavier/bigger, you’d be the girls holding the flyer in the air, etc. Well, ever since I could remember, I wanted to be a flyer so bad, but I was never small enough. I wanted to be thin so that I could be the girl in the air. Not to mention the small uniforms with the tiny skirt and little top made it harder as well because I wanted to look good, I wanted to feel cute and “small” in my uniform.

When I turned 15, though, that’s when things peaked for me, in terms of my eating disorder’s severity. I had begun losing a lot of weight, I was in love with a boy at the time who didn’t love me back, and my sick brain convinced me that if I was thinner, maybe he’d like me. *spoiler alert: he didnt* So yeah, I was losing weight, going to the gym everyday, binge every few days, and I even created what I called a “thinspo” diary to keep track of what I was doing. AND. I made a thinspo account on Tumblr. hence how this account was originally born.

The more weight I started to lose, the more compliments I received, which motivated me to lose even more weight. However, by the time I was 17, I had met a girl that had just moved to my school and was a “friend of a friend”. She was also suffering from an eating disorder, and she was in the process of getting help. With her encouragement and the encouragement of recovery blogs on Tumblr and my own desire to escape the hell of my ED, I finally went into self-recovery (because, keep in mind, I had never been properly diagnosed by a doctor and since no one in my family knew what was going on).

Self-recovery, first off, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done (and still fight with every single day). If you or someone you know is in self-recovery give yourself/them some love and encouragement because truly I feel like no one understands how hard it is to pull yourself out of the pits of hell all on your own. With that being said, I was struggling for awhile with my recovery at this point. Now, fast forward to February 2018 (I was a senior in high school), I had caught the flu. Left me unable to hold down food or water for 2 days. I was sent to the hospital because I had thrown up 7 times in 10 hours, which doesn’t seem like a lot maybe but let me tell you that was the worst physical illness I had to endure, and I was sick for 2 weeks.

During these 2 weeks, I could eat maybe a sleeve of crackers and a can of coke if I was lucky. I was at a very low place mentally, and overall I was just miserable. I had been attempting recovery for a few months at this point, and I was seriously struggling. So, like any logical person would do, I tried to reach out to people for help. I decided it was finally time I come clean to my mom about my illness. I was laying in bed and I had gotten up to go talk to my mom, who was doing dishes in the kitchen. I walk up to her and, meekly (which is something I’m NOT in the slightest) tell her I might be sick with an eating disorder, and that I thought I needed help. She, who worked as an Emergency Room technician and had treated patients with stabbings and gun shot wounds, told me that 1. I was not thin enough to have an eating disorder (because technically I was at an average weight for my height) and 2. she knows me well enough to know when I’m sick and that I’m not actually sick.

As someone who struggles with any mental illness, but especially an eating disorder, all you want is someone to recognize you, validate you, and give you reassurance. In this moment, I knew I would never get any of those things from my mom about my illness. And this may sound dramatic to some people, but I think a part of myself died that night. Because that wasn’t the first time I had gone to my mother for help, and time and time again she had either outright denied my need for assistance or had said she’d get me help and just never did. And I still remember how devastated I felt in that moment, and I know there will permanently be rift in her and I’s relationship. It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her for; when I was at the absolute worst and practically begging for someone to give a fuck, she turned her back on me and left me to basically fend for myself.

I’m finally happy to report, that as of July 2019, I am the happiest and most at peace I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’m recovering/recovered, I’m physically healthy, I have recently met some of the greatest people that are now in my life, and I finally feel like I got away from the grips of my ED. I’m not sure why I made this post, to be honest, but I’ve been struggling a little bit wit body dismorphia, positivity, self love, and everything else. After watching Shane Dawson’s video on Eugenia Cloony, it really put things into perspective of my own journey and how far I’ve come and how genuinely happy I am. I, like every other person on the planet, have many things I could improve upon, but I am so proud of where I am now. Shane’s video was triggering, but I needed to watch it to remind myself that: 1. I don’t want to die 2. I don’t want to be skeletal 3. I don’t want the people around me to fear for my life 4. I want to enjoy life, enjoy food, and just be happy 5. I am so much more than this body. I have passions, dreams, fears, goals, just like any other person.

If you think you can handle it, I recommend watching Shane’s video because it does shed a little light into the mind of someone with an eating disorder and how they can twist your life and perception. If you read all the way through this, thank you so much. Maybe this helped you, I’m not sure. But I’m glad I have this outlet to share my feelings and personal accounts, if for nothing else, than to just get these feelings off my chest; I don’t even care if no one reads this. But anyway, please know that my messages are always open if you’re struggling or you wanna talk or you need advice or even you just wanna send memes and gifs. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day.

[jungwooswift]

Hi, first off please take care of yourself friend! Secondly, I just saw your post which was an intro to SVT. I’m a different anon but also pretty new to SVT and I was wondering if you could do a follow up post to it discussing the members’ personalities? So far my favourites are Minghao and Junhui. Whose your favourite member? Thank you! Hope you have a good day lovely ^^

HI FRIENDO. LOVE YOU. LET’S TALK ABOUT SEVENTEEN.

So Seungcheol is the leader of the whole ass group as well as the leader of the Hip-Hop Unit! He is the softest man on earth. He is full of love ALL THE TIME, love for his members and for Carats. He cares a lot and worries himself over things but, man, he is a good, kind, sweet man.

Jeonghan is a little shit, a true Libra. He is cunning and hilarious. He is extremely intelligent and a force to be reckoned with. He’s the kind of friend who is always listening when someone speaks and never lets his friends flop.

Joshua is, by all definitions, a gentleman. He is gentle. He is polite. He is kind and genuine. Seventeen routinely votes him as the scariest member when he’s angry. He is very clean, takes the longest showers and loves making the members (especially Dino) laugh.

Jun is... perfect. He can sometimes seem juvenile or young (he has a habit of imitating whatever his members are doing) but he is actually very tender-hearted and takes care of his younger brothers. He is talented, he is shy, he is goofy.

Hoshi is a fireball. He is high energy, driven, extremely silly and lives to entertain. He works very hard, makes a lot of stupid faces and sometimes acts as the mood-maker.

Wonwoo is a bookworm! He has bad eyesight but loves to read, loves cats, loves cheeseburgers. He is very quiet, very smart but actually really, really funny. He is sexy as heck and he KNOWS IT but he’s a really sweet, unproblematic guy who runs his rap lyrics by female staff members before submitting them to a song to make sure women can relate/enjoy them. He used to love videogames but now he works out instead.

Woozi is my ult bias and the person on earth I love most of all not named Nicole or @kykyrose. He is complicated. He is a shy, awkward, introverted boy who wants to stay home and speak to NO ONE. He has a hard time sharing how he feels and a hard time talking to/dating girls but he can be completely himself and completely FREE when he writes music and that is how Seventeen’s music is so deep and relatable. He is athletic, smart, poetic and laughs with his entire body. He LOVES his members but sometimes has a hard time showing it (pls read the lyrics and listen to Smile Flower) but you can see it in tiny ways like how he cuddles DK or laughs at Seungkwan’s jokes. He’s a really amazing guy.

Minghao is an enigma. He is an artist. He loves wine, fashion, painting and photography. He works very hard to make sure Carats take care of themselves, study, date, socialize and don’t make their entire lives about Seventeen. He is intelligent, well-read, cultured and he’s come out of his shell A LOT since Seventeen debuted.

Mingyu is one of the best human beings on the planet. He is big, strong, sweet, focused, talented and everything in between. He is a good cook. He is a good singer. He is a good rapper. He is a good dancer. In Seventeen Project, Mingyu made promotional stickers for Seventeen. He takes care of his members. He loves Carats. He is someone who you can trust with your life and I would do anything for him.

DK is a ball of sunshine but he’s sensitive. He is hilarious and will do anything for a laugh. He is an immensely talented singer and he loves his members more than anything. He is goofy and soft and he cares a lot about what people think of his vocals.

Seungkwan is the variety king. He plays up how silly he is but honestly, he is REALLY funny. He’s witty, he’s quick, he’s willing to sacrifice his image to be funny. He has one of the greatest voices in K-Pop. He’s super emotional and cries a lot (it’s very endearing) and he takes things to heart. He is someone who can make anything fun.

Vernon is a free-spirit. He loves the whole world. He loves fashion and music and bright colors and meeting people. He is talented. He is smart. His mind is deep. He is often misunderstood as someone a little dopey but honestly, he is really a deep thinker and he has SO much to offer this world.

Dino is the hardest-working person on the planet. He is constantly trying to better himself, trying to become a better singer, rapper, choreographer and dancer. He spends most of his time in the practice room. He is patient. He loves to teach the other members choreo. He is outgoing, confident, funny and strong. He is a POWERFUL dancer and performing. Entertaining is his entire life. It is what he was born to do. He loves his hyungs but teases them constantly and he gets away with a lot. He is very sure of himself and very stable and he’s good at everything he tries. He is the future of K-Pop and I love him a lot.

I hope this helps, anon! Thank you for letting me talk about the 13 best boys on planet earth.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Punk Girl/Civil War Submission by The Wild West Pyro

Heyo, good morning/afternoon/evening/night

My friend on discord (The Wild West Pyro) had an absolutely mind-blowing theory concerning who the band ‘Punk’ Girl is, why she’s important to the story, and how she will lead to the rift in the Calypso Twins relationship. I don’t want to spoil anything for you guys, so I’m just going to dive right in.

(A majority of this will be directly from our conversation, with [some edits by me] to help with context and add in pictures.)

Here we go!

So we figured Punk Girl is in some way related to the CoV, or the cult in general, as she makes an appearance on what seems to be a cult-centric shirt on the gearboxloot instagram page (more credit to @ifalnasminiatures for providing me with this link!) 

“Well, there are [a few] ways this could go:

Punk is linked to the COV and is intended to spread their message even further with the typical subliminal brainwashing thing. So they can broadcast outside of the planets the Cult has a presence on.

It’s a sore subject between the Twins, but one they hide rather well. The girl is related to them, she’s just considered by one of them as “that disgrace who refused to reclaim the birthright and ran off to join a band instead, ugh.”

She’s a band that works for the Cult sometimes. But in fact, she’s the eyes and ears of the Alliance within the Cult. Best of all is that she’s directly related to the Twins. Secretly, she disapproves of what they’re doing, but she’s the Alliance’s best hope of what’s going on.”

[That last one is the one he goes over the most, and it’s super interesting.]

“The Twins never suspect that the spy was in fact the one closest to their hearts.”

[my response: It would explain why there are no other bosses on the MoM that we know of (excluding the twins bc those are guaranteed), because she’s never going to become a fight even tho she looks the part]

“Also, [regarding] the last bit of your post, it’s just asking for a sidequest where it’s revealed that all the Gen 3.0 VHs known how to play some sick bass.

Punk Girl: ‘Hey, my bass guy is sick, can you take over?’

Zane: ‘FECK YEAH’”

[We talk a bit here about a Scott Pilgrim-esque Battle of the Bands, with Mr. Torgue as the competition, so there’s a bit of a transition that’s missing.]

“Hey, you know how Athena encrypted her messages between Engorge commercials? Punk Girl cleverly hides her messages in her music or backmasking. That’s how she sends her info to the Vault Hunters.

The twins never suspect a thing, and when she finally reveals she’s been working for Lilith, they’re genuinely shocked- and then the rift develops. One sibling would want to protect the girl, the other would want to punish her. The twins seem extremely close, so I personally feel it’d be odd if one of them up and betrayed the other [without outside influence].

It would be a great twist, too. Jack always had something planned out to trip up the Vault Hunters. But Lilith has learned much within these seven years. It turns out, Lilith is far better at pulling the strings than we ever thought Tyreen was.

Also, when Punk Girl reveals that she’s a spy for the Alliance (likely mid-game), this happens:

Tyreen screaming “YOU BITCH” amongst other horrible things and ECHOing up Punk Girl to verbally abuse her for hours, which continues through the rest of the game.

Troy trying to gently persuade his youngest sister to “Please come back” and “I don’t want to kill you”, attempting to smooth-talk her back into supporting the Cult. He keeps on ECHOing her gift baskets.

The twins arguing with each other over the fate of Punk Girl. Which, if done right, could potentially lead to a civil war within the Cult…

And to think it was all over a nice girl in a cool band.

Of course, both Troy and Tyreen are trying to kill the Alliance still, they’re just now divided over the fate of the girl and who’s gonna get the power of the vaults.

Which would add a human layer to it all- in the end, it’s just two selfish children squabbling over some big, universe-shattering toys. Albeit with billions of lives ended in the crossfire.

The war predicted by the Watcher was terrible. Zarpedon said so as well.

And, honestly, nothing’s more brutal and vicious than a civil war several galaxies-wide.”

[It was at this point that I absolutely lost my shit (in a good way) bc goddamn bro]

“Ideally, Tyreen goes out of her way to harass, demean and try to ruin poor Punk Girl’s life, and the [Crimson Raider] Alliance have to help her stand emotionally as Punk Girl undergoes a truly horrible campaign of cyberbullying, physical assault, very violent death threats and actual attacks on her band members. Tyreen mobilizes all her loyal followers to just try to hurt Punk Girl on whatever way they can.

Troy is a little different. He’s supposed to represent the streamer who manipulates fans into giving him what he wants, or scams folks by pretending to be disabled or whatever. Or the handsome fellow who’s a total self-centered jackass on the inside, but charms many people’s hearts nonetheless. So he tries to subtly brainwash Punk Girl into returning over to the Cult, and sweet-talking her to try and get her back on his sides. He’s like the caring, warm big brother on the surface, but really he just wants a new loyal sibling at his side, someone he can control far more easily. Troy’s promises are extremely alluring, his followers appear to be proposing an alliance with the Raiders (which Lilith refuses at all costs) and it’s going to be difficult for Punk Girl to resist his brainwashing techniques and honeyed words.

Basically, protect Lilith’s most treasured and loyal agent, including asking out Atlas and maybe other friendly corporations for favors to protect Punk Girl and her bodyguards (the new VHs). Bonus points if Punk Girl really is a latent Siren or something, and her power has to be safeguarded.”

[So, we know the unknown Sirens (there are two atm) are, if we understand Siren powers correctly: 12 and 7 at the time of bl3. 

HOWEVER. It’s been stated by Danny Homan that there are multiple ways for someone to receive Siren powers: 

The most important part of this exchange is the idea that, in universe, somehow, existing people can become Sirens. Now, I am not sure if this is solely through other Siren powers (Tyreen), or Vault bullshitery, or if they just wake up one day with the tattoos, but according to Homan, it’s definitely possible. In fact, I would go so far as to say the writers are keeping things intentionally vague for this reason.

What I’m trying to reason here is that even if Punk Girl is older than 12 or 7 (odds are she is, if she’s in a band!), she could still be a Siren, just that she got her powers at a later age, like 11 or so, meaning she’d be about 23 or 18 in BL3, respectively]

“If Angel does return, and Punk Girl is going through utter hell thanks to the twins, Angel will be the finest confidant and greatest friend she’ll ever have. Angel went through similar treatment at the hands of Jack, and she’s not going to let another girl with wings get hurt again. 

I mean, most of Punk Girl’s story arc would be heartbreaking, as it really seems like the Twins have fully turned their wrath on her rather than Lilith and the Alliance. Luckily, the Vault Hunters are there to act as her shield. Like, whenever you pass her in the ship, your character can give a random line of encouragement in the really tough times she’s going through, or something like that. 

And if Punk Girl turns out to be the final Siren after all, Lilith, Angel, and Maya would all ensure that she’d never be hurt like they were in the past. 

As the abuse Punk Girl would be receiving is from her own blood relations, [it] would be far more painful for someone to experience.

Now, for how the corporations may get involved, they’ll probably just start by trying to exploit this new galactic-wide civil war (especially as it’s hinted that the Twins do mass brainwashing or something [in the] Psycho character guide), then throwing each others’ armies at their rivals in support of one Twin or another. Although I’d imagine that Atlas and maybe Jakobs would stay out of it. [In addition], the Hyperion analyst in Moze’s ECHO from Commander Lily has dialogue that implies that all the corporations are preparing in case a Second Corporate War breaks out, since the first one essentially made the BL universe what it is now.

There we go, we have the war set up, as entire populations turn on each other, having become psychos pledging undying loyalty to one of the Twins. It’s going to be a mess.

[To end] on a comical level:

Maya: (hugging both [Ava and Punk Girl]) I love my dumpster children.

[Also:]

Tyreen, with this red background and thrash metal playing in the background and “angry war face” makeup: HEY MY WHORE OF A LITTLE SISTER, YOU ARE A [insert hate speech from evil liverstreamer gremlin here].

Troy, in a fancy suit and in a warm armchair with a fireplace roaring behind him: Hello, little sister. You remember the time we played at the beach together? Well… [insert sentimental tale of sibling love and fun here that is really a thinly veiled plea to rejoin the Cult].

That’s it, that’s both their streams from that point on.”

[I don’t have much to add, to be honest. This was great.

I love the whole thing, all the way down to his characterization of everyone involved. I can totally see Tyreen being the loud, explosive one out of the two, with Troy being quieter, but far more manipulative. I think it would contrast nicely with their designs and what people might be expecting from them, especially with how Troy is the big one with his cybernetics and always scowling, and Tyreen is shorter, always smirking and looking like she’s in control. It’d be so funny to see those two roles reversed and I really, really hope that’s the plan. Especially after the reveal that Troy is the one with the braincell lmao.

The idea that this small incident could end up causing a huge, brutal war, not just between the twins, but the corporations as well, is great. We know the Watcher claims ‘war is coming’, and this would help explain what we should expect. It would be very interesting if we needed to pick a side of aid at the start of the fight (i do imagine this will be Troy if The Wild West Pyro’s characterization of the twins is true), then turn on that side once the other is eliminated.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I do!! Massive credit to The Wild West Pyro for literally all of it. It was a really fun read.]

[bisame]

okay some Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters / City on the Edge of Battle / The Planet Eater thoughts under cut

majority of the characters were kinda dull? there were a bunch of minor characters that interested me (they seemed to have more personality than the MC), but Metphies was Good. he’s one of my favorite humans (humanoids?) in the entire Goji franchise, so that’s cool. Haruo was a mess and while I think the ingredients for an interesting character were there, the execution wasn’t that effective. 

i seriously thought Haruo and Yuko were siblings/cousins so the awkward and very uncalled for kiss in CotEB made me go metal gear solid alert sound times ten. like, i was shocked

and about being shocked as fuck, the whole deal with Miana, Maina and Haruo was so fucking odd. like, i literally thought the twins were something like 13-years old because they look so much younger than the rest. Okay, they aren’t fully humans but seeing how the other members of the clan age the same way as humans do, Mai and Mia can’t be older than Yuko, who is 19yo. They look like Ahsoka from star wars or Talim from soul calibur, and both of them are something like.... 13-16...

I MEAN

SO, when Miana (?? i guess??) suddenly stripped ALL OF HER CLOTHES in Haruo’s presence and was like “i guess this is what you people do :)” i literally paused the movie and took a break. like first of all, WHERE DID SHE LEARN THAT?? anyway, thank god Haruo didnt bang her BUT THEN!! SAME WITH MAINA ??!! and then it was implied they had banged... AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, Haruo and Maina (??) get married aND HE KNOCKS HER UP?!!! like??? what the fuck?? enjoy your child bride I guess???? that was so uncalled for and came out of nowhere. i would’ve taken the pointless Haruo/Yuko relationship anytime over this fucking mess. Like, how can anyone look at those two girls and think they’re ADULTS let alone suitable partners for a 24 YEAR OLD MAN??? this is my greatest issue with these movies.... 

the first movie was so confusing and messy, and while i think it was visually most pleasing, i had to watch it in three parts because it got too overwhelming at times. the movie assumes the audience already knows about the humanoid species (i cant even remember the names) and technology and stuff, but.... no. i guess it’s my least favorite of the three, even though goji herself is cool as fuck.

the second movie was better in my opinion, but it was just a Bad Move to talk about Mecha Godzilla and then be like... oh, it’s a city now lol. The Vultures were neat, tho. Also, love how the message i got from this movie was “technology bad >:( logic worse >:((” like yeah i get it, sacrificing people for the greater good isn’t always the answer buuut.... sigh

the third one was the best. i was so glad my boy Metphies turned out to be a grey-area villain-ish character, and it broke my heart when Haruo cried when Metphies died.

the goji / ghidorah parallels..... MMMWAH! <3

this has to be my favorite version of Ghidorah ever. it’s terrifying and they really had fun with the concept of it being an alien / a creature from another dimension. i was genuinely afraid the whole time it was on screen.

tho why did Metphies take the other twin (Miana????) on top of the hill with him? like... it felt so pointless lmao. okay maybe Haruo went there to save her, but it would’ve been a good enough reason for him to go find Metphies because they knew someone was controlling Ghidorah or smth

The ending was.... Okay, I guess. yeah, technology bad >:( but I like the idea of a new generation of humans trying to live WITH godzilla instead of opposing her. i also thought it was very fucking weird of them to keep Yuko’s comatose body there all those months (years?) in the exact same place where they had left her lmao.

IN SHORT. i kinda liked these movies but i wont revisit them in a short while.... definitely some of the stronger goji movies out there, especially planet eater, but there are a lot of things that needs to be changed in order for these movies to be really good. Like, the fact, that the Mothra twins are, yknow... KIDS, and are paired up with Haruo, an adult dude.

[hjelm26hjelm-blog]

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[fyeahfantasticfour]

How did all the F4 meet?

Ben and Reed were college sweethearts roommates. As we see in Fantastic Four Annual v1 #2, Reed was looking for a boyfriend roommate, and, having failed to get into Victor Von Doom’s good graces, stumbled into Ben’s:

They both adored each other instantly. Ben would make sure that Reed got out of the lab and had fun every now and then, as we see in Thing v1 #2:

And in return Reed went to every one of Ben’s football games and cheered him on even though he didn’t have any idea what was happening, as we see in Fantastic Four Unplugged v1 #2:

Cut for length!

They were in love! So much so that they eventually ended up signing up for the army together after they graduated because they didn’t want to be separated (in the Lee/Kirby origin story – I think in current canon Reed at least worked for the U.S. military (especially while building his rocket), but I’m not sure if he was supposedly actually in the army).

Reed and Sue’s first meeting is more complicated. Prepare yourself, because I have Opinions. 

Originally, in Fantastic Four v1 #11, Reed says that they were childhood sweethearts who grew up together and that Sue was the girl he left behind when he went off to war:

So we can assume that they met when they were both children, and that they were likely not too far off in age – certainly not more than four years or so, if they were already dating when Reed was 21, i.e., right before he joined the army. They were childhood sweethearts in canon for 25 years, and I like it a lot! It’s cute! I like the idea of them knowing and being in love with each other their whole lives! Sue and Johnny could have been Californian like Reed! There is so much potential for good in the childhood sweethearts origin story! 

I also think it explains a lot about her early interest in Namor. Reed was the safe, conventional good guy who loved her and treated her (by the era’s standards) well and who she took for granted (and maybe he did the same) because they’d been together so long. Maybe he was the guy everyone had been telling her she would marry since she was very young, and she genuinely didn’t know how she felt about that – did she really love him, or had she just always been told she did? Namor, on the other hand, was new, unknown, dangerous, sexy, taboo, a bad boy, an undersea prince, and exactly the worst guy she could’ve lusted over. However, he treated her infinitely less well than Reed (who never, you know, kidnapped her or assaulted her or tried to force her to marry him or anything AND HOW WAS THAT A HIGH BAR TO PASS, NAMOR?), and ultimately that pattern of bad, misogynist, toxic behavior on Namor’s part led her to choose Reed. (Literally – she ends things with Namor permanently in Fantastic Four v1 #27 after he kidnaps and imprisons her and tries to force her to stay with him for a day to “give him a chance” that was equal to Reed’s, and she just…refuses to go along with it because he kidnapped her and then accused her of “”””making””””” him do it because she wouldn’t choose between him and Reed and he was going to force her to – a stark contrast to Reed, who, as you can see in the panels above, backed off immediately when she told him she couldn’t make up her mind and said he’d never bring it up again and then didn’t – and then she tells Namor it’s over, she chooses Reed.)

But then in the 1980s, John Byrne had to come along and ruin everything. He decided that since Stan Lee had, in the letters page and not in the actual comic (i.e., the canonicity of this is disputable, and, oh, I dispute it and I HAVE REASONS), stated that Reed was in his late 30s and Sue in her 20s at the time they got their powers, this origin story didn’t make sense, so he came up with another one that I completely loathe. 

In Fantastic Four v1 #291, Sue recalls her first meeting with Reed. He moved into her aunt’s boarding house for a summer when he was a senior in college, she fell in love at first sight, and, oh, did I mention she was TWELVE? 

Reed was, to be clear, terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and had zero interest in Sue at all:

He moved out of her aunt’s place, and that was, it seemed, that.

They ran into each other again about ten years later, and that’s when they started dating. Since Reed was 20 when they met and Sue 12, Reed was 30 and Sue was 22 when they actually got romantically involved. This is from Fantastic Four v1 #557, and, yes, that’s how long this was canon:

I’m sorry, but no. This is just…SUCH a sexual fantasy for male nerds. Little 12yo Sue is too young to have had any experience with men, so she’s completely awestruck by a nerdy guy and thinks he’s the greatest thing ever (I mean, this is made slightly better by the fact that Reed IS pretty exceptional in every respect, but it’s still being written for/by nerdy men who aren’t). Then she grows up to be gorgeous and glamorous and an actress and still idolizes the guy and worships him the way she did when she was little and so ends up marrying him. Read this and tell me that’s not how it strikes you:

An eight-year age gap wouldn’t be unacceptable if they were both mature, experienced adults at the time they met – my best friend’s parents are eleven years apart in age, and their marriage is happy and good, and, I mean, a 38yo marrying a 30yo isn’t a big deal – but the fact that Sue was a literal child and Reed was a grown man when they met makes it inappropriate and clearly led to an unequal power dynamic. It didn’t have to be this way, John Byrne. You could have gone with the childhood sweethearts/girl next door origin that was actual canon instead of the letters page that wasn’t. You can’t say they were “kids together” if Reed was an adult and Sue was a child, so you intentionally got rid of the childhood sweethearts origin just so you could introduce that eight-year age gap and have Reed meet Sue when she was a child and he wasn’t. Just. Why not get rid of the kid part too? Bad choices all around.

But, anyways, along come Matt Fraction and Tom Brevoort in Fantastic Four v4 #4 in 2013, and they decide – and oh, god, thank you – that the Byrne origin…is not the most appropriate beginning for a modern-day love story. Gender politics have shifted in the past 30 years and it isn’t really acceptable to have your hero marrying a woman he first met when she was barely hitting puberty and he was a grown man. So they aged Sue up to nineteen and kept Reed in his early twenties, thus eliminating the age gap entirely and going back to something more like the Lee/Kirby childhood sweethearts version, although they kept the boarding house element intact. I really love this origin because it’s SO adorable and what Byrne’s always should have been. In this version, it’s Reed who falls in love with Sue at first sight, which I also appreciate, because, yes, Sue is amazing:

If you love ReedSue, please read this issue. It’s basically a love letter from Reed to Sue. I have many problems with Fraction’s run, but this is one issue I wholeheartedly love.

Ben and Reed met Johnny around this time – and assuming there’s a ~7 year age gap between Johnny and Sue, Johnny would’ve been around 12 at the time. (He would’ve been five in Byrne’s origin, just FYI, when he met Reed and Ben, which is the only good thing about it.) I think a lot about Johnny’s relationship with Ben and Reed is explained by the fact that he met them when he was extremely young, combined with the lack of father figures/positive male role models in his life. Think about it – a lonely, orphaned, nerdy boy meets an extraordinarily kind, patient, smart man and his popular, star linebacker best friend – they must have seemed like the best and coolest guys on the planet. I don’t think Johnny’s ever entirely stopped seeing them that way. I really wonder if Johnny’s pranking of Ben was a pattern of behavior that started when Johnny was a kid because Johnny desperately wanted to get Ben’s attention. He was cool! A jock! Popular! Girls loved him! Reed loved him! People paid attention to him! He was everything Johnny wanted to be and everything Johnny wasn’t. Johnny’s uncritical hero-worship of Reed and constant need for Reed’s vocal approval DEFINITELY started then. I also wonder how much the way Johnny was then colored the way Reed and Ben still see him – they always think of him as a kid, of course, but also his loneliness must’ve been very apparent to them.

This is Sue and Ben’s first meeting, although we, unfortunately, have never seen Reed and Ben’s first meeting with Johnny:

Ben’s wearing his State U sweater, so clearly he was still studying there. But because Marvel can’t keep track of anything, James Robinson complicated things further in Fantastic Four v5 #14, because he depicted Reed and Sue as first meeting while Reed was at Columbia, not State U.

[Yes, that first panel is Johnny and Sue, and that’s how young Johnny was when he met Reed and Ben in contemporary canon. He looks around 11/12, I’d say.]

They kept Reed’s sweater vest the same but changed the school? Why must they make everything so complicated? I would assume that Ben still met Sue and Johnny during this time, although that’s not for sure because he probably had graduated from State U by this point and was likely already in the U.S. Air Force, working as a test pilot and astronaut. But I think in most versions of the post-Byrne origin story, that is when they met.

But, anyways, Marvel, it is about time you actually showed us the first time Johnny met Reed and Ben and also Sue, just so I can enjoy how cute and tiny Johnny was. Marvel 2-in-1 gives you the perfect opportunity!