#and he didnt make me look at the placement or anything i dont even think he marked it at all

[ghoulodont]

ok the fic im working on is raindrop going out and getting ear piercings. here was the original brainworm: a lot of peoples ghouls have pointed ears and its soooo cute and also many have piercings which are especially cute on pointy ears, however (and this should surprise no one at all) whats the logistics of that? and then it spiraled out of control and became ice cream and ibuprofen

[guideaus]

tristamp ep 12 thoughts

12 seconds in its... as heavy handed as always

wolfwood said im out

meryl miraculously got unstuck despite that being her excuse the last half ep for not doing anything (even tho she had a gun)

zazie's mask is strong

they sure did go hard on the impregnated plant stuff. im so blocking anyone who praises this lmao

also hate stampede's change of plants here? vash is Full Dependant plant, so humans mean nothing to him now? Orange really did make them soulless? and need the miraculous twin's "assistance" to not be soulless?

HATE them giving knives' line from trimax to vash. i think that scene was an illusion, but still

does tristamp knvies actually have mommy issues lol? like did Orange just put too many women in the motherly role, so it looks like that, or is it an intentional thing??

Orange said rem's one (1) personality trait is liking geraniums

are they actually going to acknowledge rem's influence on vash

i guess not

knives grew one wing like sephiroth, but they didnt exactly focus on it...

vash just got better for some reason

i dont really know why knives is attacking meryl tbh, she didnt do much. but ig they want the cliche "i heard her voice" thing

his hair sure is vertical

things sure are animated

also i fucking hate conrad now here. he's roberto's replacement for explaining information straight to the audience. come on

i guess they made wolfwood show up in some way. i was gonna say meryl is also useless except for the cliche "girl waking up bf in danger" thing, but whatever

i said this before, but tristamp really does have a stange placement of comedy

i also dont really know whats going on rn. tbh

vash has a typhon arm, but yet again they arent putting much focus on it for some reason...

how did these random ppl recognize vash flying through the air lol...

this scene also feels very contrived. vash flys low and towards soldiers, circles them, and theres the "mean humans hurting vash" scene bc of that

knives killing those ppl reminds me of omni-man's "that's your fault" hehe

also theyre now focusing on his wing. he does look a little strange floating in mid air but idk. who knows what a floating person would look like

there's smth off abt what vash just said but idk

wolfwood now cares

i was gonna say why does vash have his goth skin on, but now that theyre toussling in the sky, i see its like 98, maybe knives was super white in trimax too, who knows

i feel like tristamp messed up the plants or maybe knives? theres also smth Off abt this convo

they sure did animate him running, but that is not a good thing. that was literally my criticism of trimax's end. this feels just like when tristamp presented his rudolph ass as a good thing

i dont really get the significance of him declaring his name, but i cant say anything w/o comparing trimax

knives' va sure can scream, but i couldnt help but laugh at the scene

i also dont get why theyre going into space. do these plants not need oxygen

wtf was the point of going into space

that photo made me realize that is the only time vash promises for peace...

is zazie talking abt the humans. why did they see meryl as significant enough to tell that to

again the mention of humans from earth made me realize tristamp dropped gunsmoke attempting to reach them

i imagine mention of the insurance society and milly would excite fans, but it feels so ridiculous to me

nightow's other show reference. either wolfwood's been there or meryl smokes now??

we got eriks and the girl (i forgot her name sorry :( ). his hair better get long though. idk wtf kinda building theyre in though

i thought they were gonna show the hole in the moon :/

chronica.

[malevolententity]

project 16!

16 and a half hour. this project took me 16 and a half hours and i think i want to bash my head into a wall. not because its bad or anything i actually quite like it! but. i started this and thought itd be a 6 hour project. surely only 6 hours. no. 16 and a half hours. this does not look like 16 and a half hours. and yet? and yet it is! i am going insane! i am being taken into the spiral much like the lusidius. 16 and a half hours.

ANYWAYS made a hammock! as i make more things i realized i needed a more permanent and better place to hold all my items so just kinda winged a hammock! i am gonna be messing with placement for the next forever because m not totally happy with the bottom right. i may add a string to that corner so i have a longer anchor somewhere else so i like it more but eh! now we shall see if it actually holds up or if it sucks and i gotta reinforce all the corners.

fun fact! theres about 7 color changes in this because i was winging it with scrap yarn! i wish i coulda planned this better so that stripe of orange and brown was in the center but oh well!

SEASON THOUGHTS SO FAR

i dont even know how to go about this. so. last we left off it was the end of episode 11! i now have exactly one hour and 12 minutes left to the season! i am on episode 16!!!!!!!!! 16!!!!!!!!!!! ive loved every second of this. the twists have been so interesting and so beautifully hinted at that on a rewatch i know m gonna point and yell at things because oh!!!! thats what that means!!! you fucker!!!! i am so so enchanted and endeared to this cast. thiago isnt dead yet!!! thats fun!!! thats cool!!! hes currently asking for a cigarette [02:26:34] because hes probably gonna die right after i hit play on the rest of this episode!!! m not gonna be okay but its fine!

i think. i am going to wait to post this until ive finished the episode. i dont feel like starting a new project yet, i just wanna give myself the treat of watching the ending. with no distractions no matter how small they are. so. i guess thats where ill leave this.

oh shit its an amount of time later and i finished the season time to scream. or cry. i am writing this title before hitting play :D

vou me matar na sua frente. that was a really good ending for the season. everything happened that i anticipated and yet, i have still been a sobbing mess for the past hour. god what a great fucking story.

i wanna double cry tho because the revelando doesnt have subtitles and i Know its because equipe t is focusing on the actual seasons but ohhh i wanna know the secrets i wanna hear everyone talk about things that didnt get shared.

fucked up that i have to wait for desconjuração to finish being translated. last update i saw was in like july they were doing final revisions on the first half but its been silence ever since. hands and knees that they say something soon about how its going i wanna sink my teeth into it.

god m not ready to say goodbye. there may be a slight spam happening immediately or just filling up my queue we shall see. fuck

also fun fact!!!!!! ive been watching season 2 since the beginning of july!!! july 5th was my first post that happened at the start of season 2!!! it took me 16 weeks to watch this season!! the same amount of time it took to record it!!! that wasnt even planned that just kinda happened and i think is fun!

[henlex]

@bonknanab here's your taeho reading💕💖💕💖💕 get ready to be emotional

This is so long rip

P1harmony:

Theo🤝Keeho

Sun

Theo: Cancer, uwu. Protective sweethearts. That mom energy. But can be v protective of themselves too. That's the kind of the hard exterior you could see A Lot when he was first in camera, and the shy aurora even tho he's an extrovert. He's just trying to protect his soft self from the world. They really like to feel safe (kinda like taurus) they like to have a home that's secure so they tend to resist change. They can be pretty sentimental. They're guided by their emotions. They're pretty vulnerable and have a deep capacity for love. Very sensitive, can get hurt easily. Can be touchy, dependable and caring

Keeho: libra, air. Very sociable, just really love being with people. Very approachable. They really like balance but they can unintentionally cause problems because they spread themselves too thin. They really have good intentions but they could 100% lie to not create waves. Theyll kind of do anything to keep the peace. They can be pretty indirect/ hate confrontation, which can drive some people mad (🙋🏼‍♀️its me😂)Real masterful at avoiding things. They have high expectations and tend to compare things.

Moons

Theo- scorpio: I love this boy so much wow😭

He's and emotional boyyy. So he really likes emotional intensity. He feels things really deeply. They can really see through to the soul of a person. They unconsciously get uneasy when things are too calm/ easy and might seek emotional excitement/ drama. All or nothing. They dont want flings, they dont start things unless they'll finish them. Ok so they love commitment, they seek it ok, but they're also super cautious and suspicious of everyone. They tend to unintentionally test the people in their lives for loyalty...But after theyve committed they're incredibly loyal and protective😭Some people can be intimidated by them but others are drawn to them. They seem to just know things, crazy good intuition.

Keeho-Aqua, air. Unique, used to being different, shy kids. They're kind of detached and like to observe and try to understand others. So he has pretty strong barriers. They're pretty sociable but still have the heart of a loner☹. They really love letting other people know they're different and possibly shocking them. They brag about their loved ones uwu. General kindness towards others. Can be willful. The need a certain amount of freedom, and are pretty independent, at least emotionally.

Mercury

Theo- gemini, air. Scattered, eclectic interests. They have a basic knowledge of a lot of things. Quick learners, take in a lot from their environments. Can become restless. They can be very logical (but his water definitely adds the emotion and intuition) Very adaptable, not very attached to their ideals. Smooth talkers, possible deceptive humor (like poking at someones weakness, but lightheartedly) Good communicators and decision makers.

Keeho- libra....this boy is all air wtf. These people irk me because if you take a stance they automatically take the opposite "so it's equal"

Anyway they strive for that equality and diplomacy. Very pleasing communicators. They might be focused on trying to sound smart they forget to listen to the other person😂 They're gentle and adapt to others comfort levels. They are always looking for compromise, they hate absolutes in opinion. Great mediators (wow great leader) They can get lost in indecision because they weigh the good and bad almost endlessly. HELP it's hard for them to give a compliment without adding something 😂BOY. They try to make everyone happy. They tend to need other people to make a decision....but when they give input this mf will probably choose the other option💆🏼‍♀️

Venus

Theo- taurus- I want to give this boy a hugggg😭

So they need to be comfy. They need dependability in their relationships. Can be possessive in love. They're very touchy in their affection. They do hate change but they are incredibly dependable. To win them over you need to show your loyalty and show how much they mean to you. They can take a while to warm up but that's just because they're a slow/ cautious earth sign. Dont push them, but get comfy with them, do cozy things together. " Harmony and peace are important factors in the art and music they are attracted to." They really said harmony💖

Keeho- virgo, earth. Not flirty👀👀 pffft ok. Tries to win someone over with devotion and showing them a ton of attention. Cautious, slowly makes his way into their heart. Sensitive and insecure in love😭 They need to know feelings are mutual before they make a move..... Can childishly tease their crush💆🏼‍♀️ But they have good intentions. They arent attracted to show offs, they like understated, unnoticed people. These people love quietly helping and doing the little things. You'll win them over if you recognize their efforts, they just want to be appreciated.

Mars

Theo- sagittarius, fire.

When they feel attacked or threatened they have the need to run and just go do something else. Then they come back. It's really go for these people to be physically active, they need a healthy outlet. Can be pretty scattered, they just do what they want to in that moment which can mean leaving a ton of projects unfinished. Optimistic, fun loving. Love a good debate, but with his gem mercury I highly doubt it would get as heated as with a less flexible sign (like me). Passionate, open-minded, but can be blunt. Lol they can be confusing because they go from fun loving to intense. They need space and freedom, probably not a ton cuz he is a cancer, but like freedom to express himself. They have grand and idealistic ideas.

Skip S*x mentions: ok so doesnt have a lot of patience for anything too complex. Loves to have fun and laugh. Lowkey selfish. Can be very direct but almost innocently? Not a fan of people playing hard to get. They dont care for anything to serious in the bedroom (idk this might not be so true with his other placements, but the emotions probably come right after.

Keeho- cap, earth: this boy is v interesting.

Lowkey energy LOL. Very determined. Very goal oriented and focused. They like to be on top of everything. They have a lot of self control. They like to be in control. Really reliable, great leader.

*Straightforward and simple. Will want to keep it v private. They like when they're with someone who's experienced and powerful.

Messy thoughts

Ok but keeho would love theos mercury because hes unlikely to have extreme opinions and they're both very adaptable, I can imagine them getting into any serious arguments at all. I know keeho would annoy me so much but theo is probably totally fine. K- want to go to A ot B for dinner? T- B,  K- ok but what if we go to A. T- ya that's fine. Like wow🤝

Earth venuses😭😭😭😭 they're actually perfect dont touch me. Needs dependability/ wins you over with dependability. Perfection. They both play the long game, slow burn. Keeho literally is attracted to wall flowers goodbye. Just say theo is your soulmate and leave. Keeho called theo his love for a reasonnnn also theo fr didnt say anything cuz yes we are each others love.

They both need their own space

Ok so I think theo would really appreciate keeho non-confrontational self because theos pretty sensitive 😭

It's really looking like theo is the type of person to get lost in their emotions and keeho could really help pull him out of that and help him just chill? Have fun?

Ok sooooo their moons are not the bestttt. Cuz scorp is super emotional and deep and aqua is like... detached. Their emotional selves are very different. But also they could be so intrigued by each other, like trying to understand wtf is going on in their heads.

Ok but theo can 100% see passed keehos emotional barriers and like See him. And I feel like keeho might not have ever felt that before and😭😭😭 idk they could be really really close.

Keeho sounds so sweet and perfect for theo. Always making sure hes comfy😭

(They really both said keep it simple in the bedroom. Like damn ok, keep being a perfect match)

[energyanon]

ITS TIME FOR:

THE SEBASTIAN STAN MEGAMIX:

Don’t you dare go through the rest of the reading without getting yourself hyped with the link first cause I spent OVER TWO HOURS ON THIS READING AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I ASK DAMMIT.

* https://youtu.be/nendMLrpI-s*

ALSO: no one kill me, there is a very unpopular opinion that unfolded. I just feel the energy, don’t avada kadavra the messenger. It’s not my fault if it doesn’t match your ideal, man.

I’ve put Seb down first - just on his own.

I know I’ve said he seems like a sad bitch, and this might be because it was his birthday like.. what yesterday? And maybe I’m in his current energy (I’ll check on a different timeline) but…

Fans are gonna say it’s fake - he’s happy.

He’s really content. He’s swaying a bit which is why I feel like there’s like a tiny bit of drunk-ness hence why I feel like I’m in his CURRENT energy, but there’s 0 fault. He is so peaceful and happy and content. There’s nothing else to it.

So I closed that off, switched him over to “2021 energy” just to see how he’s been going for the most part rather than right now. And there was an immediate change, specifically to the middle of my head, a sort of pressure there. Heavy eyes, not as happy and starting to get hot. Specifically in shoulders and arms and hands. Hands is usually anxiety, shoulders and arms… I don’t usually get. The happiness is there but the smiles are fleeting. Otherwise it’s not sad it’s just… floating through, getting by. Pressure in my head is getting worse though and now my back is itchy. With energy letting me know that, I can only assume there needs to be a placement of something behind him.

Ok, placement behind him whatever it is, is DRAGGING him down. Mood changed entirely. And he’s being pulled BACK to this thing almost like he wants to fall into it. He’s really focused on in front of him, not quite scared, but eyes wide. Panicked. He does NOT want to look behind him.

The feeling now is.. almost a depression; tired. And he’s looking on the ground now. That almost always means that he’s looking at someone who has died.

Guys? Any death around him recently??

YOOO OK THATS FUCKED AS SOON AS I WROTE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN MY ROOM THAT MOVED ITSELF WITH A GIANT CLANK 👀 I AM NOT DOING A SEANCE TONIGHT FOLKS I AM OUTTIE.

CLOSING THAT ONE OFF REAL FUCKING FAST JOLY SHIT. Gimme a sec to get whatever the fuck that is outta here.

Ok no that’s a lie. Why does it feel like Grandparent Stan.

Guys, has one of the grandparent Stan’s died? It’s not a bad energy, but to him it feels like depression. I’m taking a moment just to speak to them cause they clearly wanted my attention. I tried to end it there cause I don’t fuck with spirits, but as soon as I tried to close my apps it said “no” really sweetly, so…

Ok so I just spent about half an hour doing a mini constellation for them. When it comes to grief and also the ~spirit~ letting itself be known I knew they were gonna stay around until I helped. It was pretty personal, but I got them through it. Felt a lot like a grandma from one of the sides I’m not sure who. Gave me some very cute images of her and little Seb playing in a park and cooking 🥺 Seb cried alot, but was also VERY happy to see her. They said their bits, he knows she’s a support. She’s agreed to be there for the rest of the reading however he needs her. They’re currently holding hands in letting him keep her there.

Let’s move on.

Didnt think I would cry in this one but here I am.

Ok I’ve got him in his previous position, Grandma?Stan is behind him, we’re moving on.

He feels A lot better now that the grief has been sorted through. Feels fresh.

Career/fans came up in that mini constellation so I will put that down next.

The only thing he brought up about the fans was he feels like they’re ripping him apart. He feels like everyone wants a piece of him and he can’t give them that.

I put career down. Career is in front of him facing him to his left. The fans, surprise surprise, wanted to be right on top of him. And he is CHOKING with that being the case. Throat clamping up, airways are BLOCKED. I’m moving them off.

Even then, the fans are too close, Seb has taken two steps back.

Even then they’re still too close. He’s moved to behind career, so career is blocking the view of him and the fans.

Here in this position he’s standing like a statue, he feels like he’s successfully hidden and it’s here he’s gonna stay.

Moving to career:

Career is super confused at where he went and also feels like fans are a bit close. also feels like it is better than the fans. Kind of giving them a look of disgust. Career seems to understand that the fans are gonna be stuck close to them but they think of them a bit like they’re looking at something a bit dirty.. like career doesn’t want to get their hands on them. Career wants to turn to Seb.

Career is bigger than Seb by quite a bit. Not as overbearing as Chris’s career was though, and seems to be on good terms with him. It doesn’t have any feelings of animosity towards Seb, it’s just looking at him like “you good?” And then looking back at the fans and being like “cause of THEM? Really? Lol ok”

But career feels fine to block him off from fans, that’s ok it doesn’t mind. Career doesn’t want Seb to take his eyes off it though. Eyes on career. Keep your eyes on career.

Don’t look anywhere else. Eyes on career.

Back to Seb:

Seb agrees, eyes on career. He’s very obedient to that.

There’s nothing else for me to do with these two so I went to see if he wanted to look past career at fans. He didn’t. Eyes on career.

(What have you guys done to him, i followed him back in CA:WS and he wasn’t like this at ALL. Damn guys.)

I went back to fans and they just kept making the same movement, they wanted to be on top of him. Close wasn’t close enough. I’m not moving them back there though cause then it will just go in circles and we want MOVEMENT.

I’m leaving fans there.

I am adding GF

Ale? Is that what people call her?

Ale has placed herself behind career. She is currently fully in the fans view, but she’s facing career and seb, career has back to her, seb is facing her way.

She seems to know that career is most important and she’s ok with that. She’s kind of expectantly trying to get his attention though. Like the feeling of waiting for someone to get off work and waiting for them at the door. She’s just waiting. She looks at fans like they’re beneath her though. Doesn’t like them. Not dislike, but they’re beneath her, she doesn’t need to interact.

No other movement from her besides the fact that she wants seb to move over to her so he can be by her side.

I went to the fans and they’re just all BORING their eyes into her. No need to even look at seb it’s ALE. No movement from them otherwise.

Moving back to seb:

Eyes on career. Eyes on career, except ale is more interesting now and he wants to shuffle over her way, but also career? But also ale.

He doesn’t want to go the obvious way, he kind of wants to sneak past career.

I’m gonna sneak him past career.

He’s doing it sheepishly and very slowly. Like a little boy shuffle.

Ok seb is now in front of ale, career is behind him, backs faced to each other.

Ale is taller to him. (Usually means he thinks highly of her OR that she’s in a more powerful position in the relationship but it doesn’t feel like that he’s acting like a simp)

So weird this is such simp behaviour, I moved ale back a little cause they were practically on top of each other but he was like “noooooo” and moved himself closer again.

Like dude you’re practically breathing in her organs. Chill.

It’s weird though Hes not feeling like He wants to cuddle her or be anything other than just close to her. He seems to be completely mesmerised by her. Short breaths though, he’s not relaxed. But he cannot take his eyes off her.

Moving to Ale:

She doesn’t really take her eyes off him either but she’s much more easily distracted.

She’s very fond of him though. She feels very content. She likes him, she’s happy there.

No more movement from either of them so let’s ask questions.

I asked both parties if they loved each other. Ale said yes, seb said I don’t know.

It’s also not “I don’t know” in a 😬 way it’s.. a curious and nice “I don’t know” kind of like.. “I’ve never felt like THIS before.. is THIS love?”

He does feel a bit blocked though, like he’s not admitting to himself 100% but it’s so bizzare his feelings and his words aren’t matching up cause I feel so fond of this woman so why is he saying I DONT KNOW?!

Ok I see the problem now. I just said one word:

Q:

Marriage? Ale said “yes please :)”

And sebs immediate reaction was 😳 😬

Ya boy. Has commitment issues. He’s making sense now. I swear to god if he has Gemini in his chart.. I swear.

Q: ale, why did you get with seb?

He seemed nice 😊 (also an image of a yacht on the water popped up?)

Q: do you have pure intentions towards him

She… didn’t know how to answer that, it was a very hesitant yes.

Q: are you with him for the money?

The answer was a pretty clear yes but she tried to cover her tracks with “it’s nice 😊”

Q: If Sebastian lost everything would you still love him?

No hesitation it was still yes.

So what I’m getting here is she does like the money, she does like him, money is a main factor but… she genuinely likes him I don’t know what to tell you guys.

Q: seb do you like ale?

Yes

Q: why did you start dating her?

She’s hot! (He laughed at that) and then said she’s funny, she’s cute, she’s sweet… great body

Q: do you think you’ll spend your life with her?

Same reaction as the marriage question it was a very hesitant “I’m not sureeeeee….”

The energy is drifting a bit now so I’m ending it here:

Q: is there anything else you want to say.

I wish they would leave her alone

Q: do you want them to leave you alone?

No, I can handle it. They can do what they want, I just want them to leave her alone.

That’s it!

That’s all I got.

I didn’t get any bad vibes from Ale at all.

She seems to like him. I don’t know why everyone is so mad?

Seb also seems to like her. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have Gemini in the big three or Venus, cause that’s exactly like me, ive got Leo Venus, cancer sun that makes me all lovey physically but in my gemini moon and merc make my head like MMmmmMmmMmM BUT DO I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM THOUGH? Haha.

Someone look up his chart for me pls.

Edit: I did just realise I didn’t even ask if it was PR. Sorry, my bad. Assess the above how you will.

That also didn’t go how I thought it would at all. I know you guys thought he was super sad and making all the wrong decisions, but he really only seemed dragged down from something else entirely. That being said I didn’t add the agency you guys warned me about but it also didn’t pop up at all. Maybe in the next one. I did make a couple of mistakes here in terms of probably not asking the right things that will make the entire situation clearer. Sorry guys when I’m in it I’m only thinking of what pops up and going where the energy leads me. 😶

Peace ✌🏼

[zoefandom127]

Uhhhh this title is def subject to change. I saw a comment for a drabble idea but ive been dreaming abt this for a while and i dont want to forget it so im gonna write this real quick

No Answer

"You stay here while we go inside to find the refugees. We'll radio you when we need transport from the inside."

John explained as he, Marcos, and Lauren jumped through the portal and into a dimly lit hallway. Rumors say that Sentinel Services have set up random stations all around the city, harboring troubled mutants who seek help and liberation. Though many are widely known, they are extremely hard to locate let alone infiltrate. But Sage, being the genius that she is, found one just on the outskirts of the city in a manner of hours.

This warehouse had a series of buildings surrounding it, one of the larger facilities in the system meaning more blind spots in the security. They were hidden in an alley between what looked to be a conference building and the east side of the main warehouse. After going through the blueprints of the warehouse, Clarice memorized every section and hall, every nook and cranny while Marcos, John, and Lauren memorized keypad codes and camera placements.

"Copy that."

John looked back at Clarice. "Be safe. Stay out of sight." Don't get caught. Don't die. Unspoken but so clearly heard.

"Right back at you." Clarice nodded back.

He wasn't too keen on leaving her alone but for the sake of the mission, he kept his mouth shut. Plus, he definitely didn't want to be on the end of Clarice's hard glare and cocked hip at the discussion that he "thinks she can't take of herself." The portal closed behind them and Marcos pulled a piece of paper out of his back pocket.

"Sage wrote down the directions. We take a left up here."

The group cautiously walked down a hallway and turned into a wider, main hall. Lauren placed bubbled air in front of cameras to blur the lenses, dropping them as soon as all three of them were not in view. They took another left and stopped in front of a large metal door labeled "Rfge Subjects". Lauren stepped up to enter the code, whispering the numbers under her breath before pushing them on the keypad. The door opened to reveal ten, maybe twelve, mutants ranging from ages 12-18, every one of them huddled in the farthest corner of the room. They kept their heads down and didn't make eye contact with Lauren and Marcos when they walked in, John standing outside the door to watch for Sentinel agents walking by.

Marcos flashed his hands in the dark room to make everything easier to see. The refugees perked up slightly when Marcos showed his abilities. Lauren walked up to one of the younger mutants with hands held up in front of her to show she meant no harm.

"Hi. We're from the Mutant Underground. We're going to get you all out of here." She looked around, addressing everyone.

The refugees looked at one another wearily.

Lauren tried again. "We're one of the good guys. I promise. We can explain later but right now we've got to go."

The 15-year-old, the one Lauren was trying to get through to first, stood and quickly walked over to Lauren's side of the room, looking back at the others and waving at them to join. One by one each refugee stood up to join one another. Lauren smiled down at the 15-year-old and nodded her head.

"John, we're all good here," Marcos spoke up.

John looked in to see if everything was okay before pulling a walkie-talkie from the waist of his jeans and pushing a button to call Clarice.

"Clare, we're done. Portal to room 118."

He released the button and waited but was met with static for a good 20 seconds.

"Clarice?" John's eyebrows knitted together as the tone in his voice changed to concern.

Marcos looked back at John's stiff posture. "What's going on?"

John waited a moment before answering, hoping Clarice would respond before he spoke.

"Something's wrong."

"Guy's what's happening? Why isn't the portal here yet." Lauren questioned, worriedly.

John placed the walkie back in his waistband in stiff movements. "I don't know but Clarice isn't answering. We gotta find another way out."

Marcos took out a paper with written directions to an exit in the south wing. If they opened any door without clearance an alarm would sound throughout the whole building and alert everyone in the building. So much for being discreet.

"Alright, let's go quickly." Marcos ushered everyone out of the room and into the hallway, Lauren already disorienting the cameras that could potentially see them.

"You guys go ahead without me," John spoke gruffly once the big metal door that held the mutants was closed. "I have to find Clarice."

Marcos simply nodded. There was no way he was stopping him. "Be careful."

With that, he and Lauren turned and led everyone down the opposite hall.

John ran down his intended hall, taking the rights, and left he memorized to take him to the side door of the east wing. Without anything to cover the cameras, he would surely be recognized so he had to move fast before people were sent to find him.

As soon as it was in sight, John busted through the east side door without hesitation. The alarm blared through the building loud and unyielding but he didn't care. He looked both ways of the alley before his eyes landed on Clarice with her back turned to him slumped on her knees in front of a figure dressed in a black and red trench coat. The figure had both hands just inches away from either side of Clarice's head. Their hands had red electrical beams coming from the palms and directed to Clarice's temples.

He rushed to her before he even knew his feet were moving. "Clarice!"

The figure looked up, alarmed, to see John and very quickly sunk into the ground. Gone.

John kneeled down in front of Clarice, cupping her face in his hands. Her face was tear-stained and her eyes were glassy. She kept staring ahead. It didn't even seem like she was aware of John's presence.

"I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry," she whispered shakily, still looking past John's face ahead of her.

"Clarice?" John whispered to her, rocks dug into his knees but weren't registered.

On both temples, red-looking veins expanded from her hairline to her eyes and the apples of her cheeks.

"I didn't know. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

John looked behind to see if he could find who she was speaking to. Nothing.

"Clarice," he brushed a tear just as it fell from her eyes. She was trembling, distraught. It was scary to see. "Clarice we've got to go."

No answer.

He could hear Sentinels and they're not too far. They needed to get out of there.

He stood up and hauled her up with him but her legs proved to not work as she slumped against him. Still, her gaze didn't move. John bent down to place an arm behind her legs and back, lifting her up against his chest. She shuddered and muttered more apologies, to who and for what, he had no idea.

John held her more firmly and brushed a gentle kiss against her hairline as he ran to find Marcos and the others.

there will be a part 2 just so y’all kno😂 i wrote 2 chapters yesterday so go check out the other one on fanfiction.net and ao3. Im prob gonna go back and edit this one l8r but i was really excited to write this! Call me out on any mistakes cuz u alr kno i didnt proofread!

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

[imagineurfavs]

Pentagon Kino - Birth Chart Analysis

“Hi! love ur writing huhu do you think u could do a birth chart analysis thingy on kino from ptg??? ik hes an aquarius but he doesnt really seem like one??? sdfd thank u :)”

aaaaaah thank you so much for requesting this, ive been aching to write sth like this for ages lmao. i didnt know from which angle you wanted it, like relationships, sex or whatever so ima just do an overall kinda one. lmk if you want something more focused aha Also i agree lol, hyunggu doesn’t really seem like a straight up aquarius, i wish i knew what time he was born i could see his ascendant lmao ALSO. I’ve just done the first 6 placements as they seem to be the ones most people care about lmao, lmk if you want me to do the remaining ones

Sun (our true self, the soul) - Aquarius (1st Decan): This is what makes Hyunggu the social butterfly he is lol, what’s probably responsible for him being in so many different social circles. Aquarians have many many varied fields of interest, which usually end up being quite niche or “out there” lol, just like how Hyunggu, the 22 year old man in 2020, LOVES old school jazz music and classic movies. 1st decan Aquarians are (mostly) open books who really do shine more when they have an audience, or at least with a lot of people surrounding them. But with that being said, they're also totally happy to be in their own company bc they know themselves so well, they’re comfortable with themselves. They also have persistence like no other lol; when they set their mind to something, there’s no lengths they wont go to to achieve it. AKA Kino the workaholic who spends his life in the studio lol

Moon (emotions, instincts, our vulnerable side) - Capricorn: Much more emotional than people think, but he prefers to keep it private. He’ll only let his emotions out fully if he totally trusts the people he’s with. (the fact that unis have seen him cry numerous times is a testament to how much he trusts us ig sdgjsg so sweet) He loves taking care of people; he likes to feel needed. With that in mind though he can be a bit of a “fixer” lol which might not always be a good thing, he’s attracted to people who look like they need some help. One of the most devoted placements in terms of relationships, they aren’t ones that really go for one night stands or short fling type relationships. This placement makes him surprisingly traditional in relationships lol, like he loves homely warm kinda vibes in that sense. Likes to show off any relationship he does have though lol, like he wont air out any private details, but he does want the world to see how well yall are doing lol.

Mercury (How we communicate & express ourselves, intellect) - Capricorn: DONT EVER BREAK A PROMISE WITH HYUNGGU OMG. He’ll never forgive you. This boy takes promises so seriously, and takes any secrets with him to his grave. If he ever gives you his word on anything, you best believe he means it with every fibre of his being. Kino isn’t someone to mince his words, he always means what he says. He’ll still try his best to not hurt any feelings, but he won’t lie. This is what helps him follow through with all the ideas that he gets, he’s great at planning and knowing what’s worth seeing through to the end and what just wont work. Which is probably why everything he’s ever put out to the public is god tier shit lol, he wont spend time on anything less than perfection. Another placement that favours tradition, you wont ever catch him slipping up on any honorifics or social formalities lmao.

Venus (how we are in love & romance, creativity, what brings us joy)  - Capricorn: Kang Hyunggu perfect husband material confirmed. Capricorn is the sign that cares most about traditions and stuff in relationships. Not always like old school kinda traditions, but he cares greatly about anniversaries and stuff lol. Very cautious in love, he wont open up or admit his feelings easily and he wont even bother pursuing someone he doesn’t see at least somewhat of a future with. Insanely loyal and steadfast in love. He’s someone you can always count on no matter the time or place, and he wants someone who’ll do the same for him. He wants a fairy tale romance lol. He wants to be remembered for what he does, to leave a legacy that lasts forever. Big on validation, he loves to be complemented and revered; then he’ll feel like all the hours of work and effort he’s put in actually meant something lmao. 

Mars (sex, passion, anger, what drives us) - Pisces I feel like this placement is the reason why Hyunggu can get so mushy and emotional. Pisceans are totally driven by their emotions, sometimes to a fault. So when it comes to something that he’s so so passionate about: ie. Pentagon, his emotions can just totally overwhelm him and before we know it hes sobbing on national TV (im looking at u rtk...). Sex isn't something he takes lightly at all, if there’s no emotion or love involved, it just doesn’t feel right to him. He views sex as something that’s good for the soul lol, its very much an emotional thing for him, as opposed to just a physical need. Very much a hopeless romantic; the type to write poetry for their significant other and cry whilst they read it to you lmao. He’d really give his all to someone he loves, to him self sacrifice is the grandest gesture of love lol. Just remember that it was him who wrote Die For U...yeah...he’s very that. It’s all or nothing with Hyunggu lol, if he chooses to give you his heart, you’ll get his soul too. (Side note this might also be what makes him sensitive and sulky lol)

Jupiter (optimism, luck, philosophy & just good vibes lol) - Aquarius To me, this placement is what makes him so agreeable like, he accepts everyone no matter what. He doesn’t care about gender, race, orientation, religion, anything like that. If someone piques his interest, nothing else matters to him other than getting to know them. He’s always ready to question authority, to break away from the norm and try new things. If he wants to do something, he’s gonna do it the way he wants to, not necessarily the way he’s been told to do it. He’s not afraid to be different, he likes to be a bit of a pioneer lmao. Mostly enjoys being with a lot of people, he loves having many different personalities to bounce off of, ig he got lucky being put in such a large group lol. But he still likes to have his freedom; or more so he wants everyone to have their freedom, so he can for sure be a bit of a philanthropist. Lowkey wants to change the world for the better lmao

[flobro]

Omovember 2020

Day One - In a Vehicle

Kageyama x Reader

Kageyama’s PoV 

Could i get any stupider?

In the rush of Hinata, Y/n and I finishing our tests, scrambling into Tanaks sisters car and setting off immediately for Tokyo I hadnt had time to pee.

Hinata was sat in the front passenger seat as Y/n and I were in the back of the car.

To make matters even worse, i had a huge crush on Y/n and the nerves of sitting next to her were bugging my bladder even more.

I tried to keep my breathing steady because i knew that if i panicked things would only get even worse for my nerves.

I wasnt too desperate yet but the need was still there. We had only been driving for about ten minuets so i definitely couldnt ask how much longer we had to drive yet otherwise everyone would definitely know something was wrong with me.

I crossed my legs which seemed to ease the pressure a little bit and made everything a bit more bearable and i tried to focus my mind on anything but my need to pee.

I jumped slightly as Y/n tapped my shoulder five minuets later and i felt my bladder twinge slightly, making me squeeze my thighs together as descretely as i could.

‘Whats up?’ I asked Y/n, who sent me a stunning smile.

‘You look bored, you wanna listen to some music with me?’ She asked, holding out one of her earbuds to me.

I nodded and shakily grabbed the headphone, ‘Yeah, thanks.’

She just nodded, ‘No problem!’

We had to shuffle slightly closer to eachother so that the earphones could reach to both of our ears and i couldnt help but notice how my seatbelt uncomfortablely pressed down onto my bladder, making my desperation go from a 4/10 to a 7/10.

Hinata and Saeko (Tanakas sister) were chatting happily about volleyball and the tiny giant in the front seats and i was glad that they werent focused on me because then i would feel even more pressured.

Another fifteen minuets had passed and I had tried my best to get lost in Y/n’s music but now my bladder was almost at its maximum capacity and i was beginning to shuffle around a bit, squeezing my thighs together as tight as possible.

Y/n looked at me and yanked the headphone wire, making them fall out of both of our ears.

Y/n went closer to my ear and whispered, ‘Hey, are you okay? You seem uncomfortable?’

My body shivered at the feeling of her breath on my skin and it relaxed my body for a second, making a bit of urine leak out of me.

I gasped and crammed my hands onto my crotch, tensing my body up again, stopping the flow as fast as i possibly could.

Y/n’s eyes widened in realisation and i blushed a deep red, hiding my face away from her, waiting for her to tell me how disgusting and gross i am.

But she didnt...

Instead, she placed a hand comfortingly on my shoulder, her touch making my heart rate speed up even more.

‘Is there anything i can do to help you?’ She whispered to me once again, continuing to keep her voice low so Saeko and Hinata wouldnt ask questions.

I shook my head and tried to calm myself down. There was no way in hell that i was gonna show myself up in front of the girl i like by acting like a four year old.

‘N-no,’ I said, trying to act as calm as possible, ‘Im f-fine dont worry.’

She didnt look like she believed me so i slowly removed my hands from between my legs to try and prove that i wasnt as desperate as it seemed.

Bad idea.

As soon as i took my hands away, another bit of urine left me and i gasped once again, putting my hands back onto my crotch.

This time the flow was harder to control and i knew that there was a 99% chance that there would be a wet patch on my shorts.

Saeko and Hinata must have heard me gasp because their conversation stopped abruptly.

‘You okay back there?’ Sakeo asked and i felt my throat dry up.

Hinata began to turn around to look at us and Y/n and I both panicked, knowing he would see my obvious state of desperation.

Y/n suddenly unclipped her seatbelt and laid accross my lap gently, covering up my crossed legs and hiding my odd hand placement.

Her arm momentarily dug into my stomach, pressing on my overfilled bladder, forcing a two second stream of urine out of me which i painfully cut off, knowing that my boxers were almost fully soaked now.

‘How come your laid down, Y/n?’ Hinata asked her and she sighed.

‘I just feel a bit car sick,’ She said, ‘Do you know how long it will be until we get to Tokyo?’

*Slick* I thought to myself. She had somehow managed to cover up the fact i was about to pee myself AND had a good reason to ask how long it would take until we would arrive.

Hinata frowned, ‘Oh thats not good, i hope you feel better soon!’ and turned back around to look out of the front window.

‘We will arrive in half an hour but were gonna be on this stretch of road for another twenty minuets and wont see another place to stop for a while.’ Saeko said, sounding worried about Y/n.

Y/n frowned at me and sat up again, ‘Okay dont worry, im feeling a bit better after lying down but when we come across a place to stop it would be nice to be stationary for a while.’

Saeko chuckled slightly, ‘Okie dokie! Ill keep that in mind for you!’

Y/n mustve seen the tears in my eyes and my expression showing that i had completely lost hope as she placed an arm around my shoulders, hugging my side for a second before whispering, ‘Sorry i couldnt help you much. Dont stress out, we’ll find a stop for you. You’ll be okay.’

I got butterflies in my stomach from her touch but i ignored them, not wanting to focus on anything else other than holding myself in.

Y/n clipped herself back into her seat and I decided that i would have to speak up. Y/n already knew and Saeko wouldnt make fun of me. Surely i could just scare Hinata into keeping his mouth shut too.

‘C-can you drive a-any faster?’ I shakily asked, panic evident in my voice, ‘I r-really need t-the bathroom.’

Saeko immediately sped the car up, ‘Ill drive as fast as i can. We’ll reach a stop in about fifteen minuets. Can you last?’

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, feeling pathetic and stupid, ‘I... I d-dont know!’

‘Its usually me who need to pee.’ Hinata said from his seat, making me bubble with anger.

‘S-shut up idiot! This i-isnt funny!’ I growled at him, unable to make my voice any louder.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, putting all my energy into keeping my muscles tensed as much as i possibly could.

My eyes widened as my body began to relax itsself against my will.

‘No... NO.. NO!’ I panicked, ‘YOU N-NEED TO PULL THE C-CAR OVER!’

Saeko quickly turned the wheel and brought the car to the side of the road and i unclipped my seatbelt, threw the door open, and scrambled out of the car.

As soon as i got out i immediately crumbled onto the floor, my legs giving out underneath me as my lap began to feel warm.

Wow. I had really gone and done it hadnt i? I pissed myself in front of my senpais sister, annoying volleyball partner AND my crush. Could it have been any worse?

My shorts were completely soaked and a puddle had began to grow around me. I couldnt even bring myself to try and stop it because my body felt so weak.

No amount of embarassment would ever compare to what i was feeling in that moment. I didnt even want to begin to imagine what Saeko, Hinata and Y/n were thinking of me.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and i kept my head down so no one would be able to see my face.

It took at least a minute for my bladder to fully empty. I felt so pathetic and dumb but there was nothing i could do other than just sit there and wait for myself to be finished.

A pair of shoes came into my line of vision and i looked up slowly to see Y/n with her hand stretched out to me, offering to help me up.

I looked away from her quickly, my voice barely above a whisper, ‘You s-shouldnt touch m-me. Im a-all gross. Even m-my hands.’

She crouched down and placed a hand on my cheek, wiping away one of my tears and making me look up at her, my face even redder.

‘I dont care. Dont stress about it okay? Its a human need. There wasnt anything you could do to avoid it.’ She said in a calm and genuine voice.

I nodded and she grabbed my slightly damp hand. I glanced at her face and she want even slightly disgusted.

I stood up and Y/n kept her hand laced with mine.

We got back into the car, I was sat on a towel. Saeko said that she didnt mind and strangely Hinata hadnt even mentioned it which i was thankful for. Although everyone was being very calm and unaffected by it, i still felt mortified. 

Y/n suddenly lent over to me to whisper in my ear one last time, ‘Dont worry about it so much. Ill always have a crush on you.’

My face reddened as i looked at her, ‘I h-have a c-crush on you too.’ 

Y/n giggled, ‘I guess that makes me your girlfriend then.’

~~~~~~~~~~

hey guys !!

this was my first time writing an omofic so i hope you liked it !!!

~ flobro 

[amjustagirl]

Hii nikki jie!!!! Idk if you've had time to read the tags on the reblogs of a sea of flowers in bloom but in case you havent i just wanted to drop in and tell you that i love every single chapter sobsob. Pls i didnt even know there was a tag limit until i reached it when i was rambling after one of the chapters. This fic has officially gotten me through my first 2 weeks of uni and life will not be same without more kita for me to look forward to every tuesday as my sch week starts and every friday as my sch week ends lsjkdfh HAHA

anyways i absolutely loved how you handled kita's insecurities and reader's character growth was absolutely incredible. Her learning how to grab happiness with her own two hands and that leading her to give kita a chance after he apologised was soso beautiful to me 😭 like idk i feel like usually when a character has that kind of growth it ends up with them not having a man which is a great learning lesson on how you dont need other people to be happy BUT this time reader also knows how so very kind kita is and gave him a chance and STILL had her happiness and i think that's why the line "You’d already learnt to grasp happiness for yourself, but with his companionship, his friendship, his love (and gods, his kisses are to die for), the sprout of happiness you’ve cultivated multiplies into a whole sea of flowers in bloom" resonated with me so much i full on sobbed when i read this askjfksd

I loved all the pictures you painted throughout this whole fic; the ocean, drowning, life rafts, jumping off a cliff, all eventually leading back to 'a sea of flowers in bloom' it was absolutely amazing. I loved kaiyo and tsumu's banter and reader's friendship with kaiyo (and reader making friends with the msby boys had me crying too🥺).

As for outtakes, if i may offer asami and shoma? Maybe one of their playdates or even when asami introduced shoma to her parents as her boyfriend HAHA but if youre not comfortable or inspired to write that no worries :> is it too shameless to say i would just take whatever crumbs you give us HAHAH

Help not me spending like 20min to write this out instead of doing my tutorials asdfkjs sorry for the long message i just felt the need to make my love for a sea of flowers in bloom known HAHAHA hope you have a great day and a good weekend :) (Ive only sent you an ask on anon like once without signing off cuz i was too shy but i think ill start signing off cuz i would probably want to drop in more often 😆) ~ann :> (if thats not taken?)

ann <3

dw bb i've been reading and rejoicing over ALL your tags - the number of times ive gotten weird stares cos i giggled on the mrt is....more than my fingers HAHAHA. ahh i'm glad i made such a difference to the start of your uni sem! if you ever wanna rant about uni or life my inbox is always open, yeah!!

and adff,sgjkldfj;dsfdskj maybe it was me wanting to be greedy and give reader-chan the best of both worlds - growing into her strength while leaving space for love. she definitely doesn't need kita to be happy, but i recognised that he has the potential of making her happier - so that's what i was rly going for in this story. and that line you quoted (pls don't sob bb *wipes your tears away gently*) really encapsulates her growth and destination at the end of the fic. and it also signifies both of them coming together by marrying the imageries they're associated with, the sea imagery with the flower imagery and yeah :3

omg ty for appreciating the imagery!!! sometimes i wonder if im going overboard with it, whether im being poetic for the sake of being poetic but like...idk they kinda speak to me and i do try to be intentional with their placement. i'd say (as mentioned above) that there are two main imageries - sea (i.e. lift raft, ocean, drowning), and flowers (the river of flowers, sprout of happiness etc) that each character is associated with, and then married together as their paths converge and perhaps a dash of imagery for fun (and to tie it back into the storm chaser universe where taking a chance was likened to jumping off a cliff ><)

oh i am definitely gonna write the asami / shoma outtake sometime soon HAHA. let's torture kita and make him sweat a bit. and pls don't be shy about sending asks or even slipping into my dms! i love to chat, and i 100% am happy to talk abt anything under the sun HAHAHAHAHAH. i hope you have a lovely weekend, darling <3

[shhh-no-ones-home]

tattooed on my heart steven adler x reader

+++++++++

havent done an actual imagine in a while so heres a super soft/cute one

imagine: steven dating an alternative/goth girl. hes a v soft boy and everyone is super confused how that works but he is absolutely smitten with her and her style.

song: fingers crossed by coin

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse

+++++++++

"hey, ill be right back."

i said standing off the couch and kissing steven gently.

"okay."

he said not wanting to let my hand go. we had been invited to a party and i was definitely feeling out of place. with their rock star life style i had anticipated more leather and chains but it seemed like duff and i were the only ones participating in the trend. even axl chose to wear jeans. i didnt really mind though, i was used to being stared at and thats exactly what happened as i made my way to the bathroom. every wall was lined with people lingering around each other and most of them were gawking at me, a few of them reaching out and grazing their fingers against the chains hanging off my leather jacket.

when i reached the bathroom i sighed in relief, closing the door and looking at my tired eyes in the mirror. the black around them was smudged and smeared down my face from the long night of partying but it kind of went with the 'dont fuck with me' look. not that the teased up Mohawk didnt do that or anything but still. i laughed at the thought of myself standing next to steven, the complete opposite of myself in every way. he was such a ray of sunshine and happiness; i was practically dating a golden retriever. i knew he loved me though, i fascinated him, or at least thats what he told me.

i tip toed up a bit to see my legs in the mirror above the sink, looking at the two week old tattoo sitting just below the hem of my dress. the velvet felt nice on the healing skin but i needed to wash it again. thats the one thing i hated about new tattoos but the outcome was always worth it. i dropped back to flat feet before propping my leg up on the sink and washing my leg off, some of the dead skin falling away in bits of black and pink. i heard a knock at the door just as i was drying my thigh off, queuing me to leave. when i walked back into the living room of the house steven was still sat on the couch talking awkwardly with a way-to-interested female. she was cute if i was being honest, herpale blue blouse made her look nice in contrast to the other more bold women at the party.

"hey baby."

he said relieved, noticing me and holding his hand out for me to take.

"sorry, my leg was starting to itch."

he nodded.

"sarah this is my girlfriend y/n."

he said, smiling widely at me and helping me into his lap to sit, now that the couch was full. she laughed a little bit as he slid my dress up a bit to inspect my tattoo, he absolutely loved it. hes the one who helped me pick the placement and all that too, saying my thighs were his favorite part of my body so why not add more art to the art that was already there. it did take up the majority of the space after all.

"youre joking, right?"

she asked as i draped my arm around his shoulders.

"hes absolutely not."

i said looking down at him endearingly. he smiled back up at me with the widest smile, rubbing his thumb lightly into the inside of my thigh, being careful not to push into the tattoo.

"how the hell do you date someone like that?!"

she asked, eyes wide. slash , sitting behind the woman and talking to someone else, leaned over and tipped his glass towards me. he knew exactly what i was thinking.

"we ask ourselves the same question at least three times a day darling."

he said amused. she looked over at him as i laughed, stevie looking a little confused by what he meant. slash turned back around, her gaze falling to the floor a little expressionless and shocked to say the least.

"what do you like about her? youre so normal in comparison."

she pointed out, a bit shell shocked. when i looked from her back to him he was already staring at me, a small smile on his lips.

"whats not to like?"

he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, petting his thumb into the velvet of my short dress.

"just look at her, its like dating a walking art museum. plus shes the most interesting and unique person ive ever met."

he said generally, still keeping eye contact with me. i couldnt help the blush creeping its way to my face.

"i love everything about you, from the way you make your coffee in the morning to the way you stay up with me at night to make fun of those stupid late show hosts. and not to mention how you make me feel, like i belong in every every part of your life. hell you even let me pick where your new tattoo went, how many people would do that? and now as an added bonus i get to look at my favorite thing on your body all decorated."

i leaned down and kissed him gently. when i pulled away he looked over at her, a lazy smile playing on his lips.

"not to mention she is much more interesting to look at without her clothes."

i laughed nervously and hit him square in the chest with my hand.

"steven!"

i scolded and he just squeezed me tighter to him.

"look babe, i love the outfits but you cant tell me you dont look stunning naked, decorated in ink and design."

he awed and i kissed him again.

"i love you stevie."

i said admiringly, feeling the couch shift.

"if youll excuse me i need to go re-assess my approach to getting guys to like me."

i laughed a little bit, catching her hand before she was gone.

"hey, dont change for any guy. if they truly love you then you wont need to. i know i didnt. mohwak and all."

she finally smiled back at me and nodded knowingly.

"thanks."

i let go of her and she walked off into the kitchen. i turned back to steve, holding his head in my hand and running my thumb over his cheek bone. he seemed absolutely in love with me and i couldnt help but melt. he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, crazy life style included.

"is it lame to ask for another kiss?"

he said softly, looking between my eyes. i shook my head no.

"of course not."

i said, leaning down and kissing him gently. he hummed into it and i sighed at the sensation. when i pulled away i rested my forehead on his, eyes closed.

"i love you baby."

i said softly. he kissed me again, smiling into it.

"i love you too."

[rkivepacks]

TITLE: i’m good, i love you Series: why are you sorry? it’s not your fault you don’t love me [see previous work] Pairing: taekook/kookv/vkook (Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook) Rating: PG13 Genre: angst but you’ll live Word Count: 2,029 Trigger Warning/s: swearing(?), one or two sentences of questioning self worth but not too graphic Cross-posted on: AO3/dtgloss

NOTES: ∟ banner by @rkivepacks​ ∟ request banner here ∟ request prompt/send commission here

∟ unbeta-ed ∟ the requests for a sequel for the first one was from a long time ago and im p sure when they said requests they were hoping for a fluff one but i wasnt in the mood for fluffy when i did this so...

Summary:   the difference between want and have is you

his eyes roam the words carefully printed on the wall, on the lower left part of the painting. it is where the title, date and artist are usually placed.

a piece of me is always found right beside you it follows you wherever you go it’s lonely from what i see where i stay far from you

alone.

taehyung, these days, is alone.

he is used to it but routine never makes it okay to be alone.

his sadness should not be a routine but, oh well, it is.

he stays in his average house that’s one in the lined town houses in the village. the area itself is decongested, only the people habituating each house goes in and out of their little village and everyone is almost familiar, if not knows, each other.

his own house in particular looks lived on. more so on the side of used but not so worn out. maybe the walls are not as white and clean as they used to be, a few scratches and dirts that got on it as days pass by but no ceiling has started falling down unprompted and everything works how they’re assigned to function.

taehyung would like to think he’s more sad than alone. he still has friends anyway but friends cannot always live with you on your house guised under the cover of it being a sleepover that turns into days.

but friends just like him have their own personal matters and cannot always be with him. he understands when hoseok cannot stay for more than two days and has to leave just before lunch to meet up with a close friend of his, one from outside of their group of friends so taehyung can’t have the option to ask to come with. he understands when jimin cannot come on days he���s asking him to and sometimes comes on a saturday instead of his friday night invite.

when he’s so down, he thinks he’s not entitled to his friends times but they assure him it’s not the case.

so no, he is not alone.

he goes over to the next display, going over the sculpture itself and then to the artist description posed near the display. the sculpture itself is a form that resembles a man that is slightly haunched, although it takes more than a second to realize as the form only captures the head to chest of a human body, but considering that the back part of it protrudes slightly the way a man would when lax. the main body is that of charcoal color but it was designed to portray a visual effect of a dripping paint from its head, represented with different colors which are bright enough to contrast its dark body.

the display is almost familiar and it has been staring at him longer than he stared at it.

the title is printed in bold, a sinner

love is not a sin but my thoughts about you and the way i see the word love around you is

taehyung moves on to another display, it being a worn out stack of paper that looks as if it has 300 pages of a4’s binded by a clip. he steps closer to it to inspect, knowing displays are off limits and can only be appreciated through the eyes, he skims over the word of what he found out would be a script of some sort.

he reads,

i’m drunk, i love you

the difference between want and have is you

he walks over to the last one if its placement by the exit is anything to go by, just like the last one he’s looked over, it’s a display with a single ring in the middle.

all alone

and it sits there as if it has been assigned to mock him and the ring that sits on the very bottom and far end of a box full of things he doesn’t need but can’t seem to throw away.

he reads the title and wow, yes. it’s definitely mocking him. he had been giving it the benefit of the doubt but the title is the last straw. this whole exhibit is out to mock him.

taehyung thinks he’s being over dramatic. but he also thinks this last display is offensive to him, absolutely personal.

—

taehyung sits at home, eyes on the tv he has playing as he waits for night time news.

it seems like the words of the last display he went to see that day have been imprinted on his brain, on the wall in front of him, on the ceiling as he looks up, when he close his eyes.

—

Once you told me, your eyes are always on me.

And you did, you took care of me.

Because you are that kind of person.

You put me before you.

All the time.

Which is why you are the best.

To be honest, I would not even put me before me.

—

taehyungiehyungihyung,

have you been well? i hope you are. the longest time i’ve been away from you is now and still counting— the present. the second one would be during Christmas breaks because you and your family spend it on your relatives home alternately and don’t come back until after new years. anyway... is your hair longer now? i hope it is and i hope you dont cut it. i seem to have a lot of hopes.

im packing up for a trip to a long trail not too far from here. they said it was too pretty to pass up and you get to reach the clouds.

, jungkook

taehyung reads the letter. he received it yesterday late afternoon and it doesnt have a date. jungkook often forgets to write dates so he assumes they were written at least three days ago.

it wasnt the first letter he received. he doesnt keep count but he has a few kept behind his door where he puts his mails.

in the first letter, jungkook said its best to not have taehyung write back. he goes from one place to another, he said. so, taehyung merely reads them and keeps them.

in the first letter, he also said about his sudden departure. he wanted to be away for a while and he knows his best friend would need him for the wedding so he decided to do it after. he didnt even get to say goodbye and only got a whiff of the younger when the letter came that day.

jungkook didnt say why he left and where he went. he just did. right after taehyung’s wedding, he packed up and went away from taehyung’s vicinity as far as he could.

does he know? taehyung asks. does he know i’m not married anymore?

—

his divorce with minji was something that stemmed off a petty thing.

falling out of love is a petty thing.

but, he guesses, they both cannot trap themselves in a house they’re not happy in anymore.

it was sudden, the divorce.

minji told him that she doesnt feel the same anymore. they agreed to stay off the house and after more than a week of a cool off she said she doesnt feel anything at all.

in taehyung’s case, he did not feel it the same way minji did. he only noticed once minji told him she felt that way. it made him feel that the heaviness in the room when they’re both in it was a foreboding for something.

taehyung is a giving lover. the time away from minji made him think a lot. he knows he doesn’t have a choice but to agree on the separation. forbid his thoughts, but he doesn’t want the time to come when the both of them completely falls out of love and seeks warmth from another person and then go home at night to sleep in the same bed.

he texts minji, because as accepting as he is about the decision, he’s not too keen watching a soon to be ex wife pack up and leave.

both of them were gradually moving out their personal items from the house. properties they bought with their shared money will be sold as secondhand items and some are donated.

in between moving out and settling in to a new apartment, he’s had namjoon and jimin with him and if yoongi has extra time mostly at night, he helps sort out his things.

he knew there was a missing person. he wanted to tell jungkook about it.

but jungkook wasn’t there.

—

until one day, jungkook is back.

suddenly, he’s there attending the dinner party for jin’s birthday, sat beside hoseok.

he casted him wary glances throughout the night. at some point he was even referencing to taehyung like everything’s so normal, but taehyung knows it’s just a very jungkook way of letting him know ‘i’m here and i will talk to you and acknowledge your presence whether you like it or not’. taehyung isn’t one for being petty so he went along with it. thankfully, their friends don’t seem to give too much thought into their two other friends sat on the opposite sides of the table.

the next day, jungkook seems to have arrived in taehyung’s new home at the same time a delivery for taehyung came. it eased jungkook’s nerves that he doesn’t have to go through knocking and then purposefully being ignored.

“did you order anything?” jungkook asks just as the delivery person makes their leave.

“i went and bought some essential oils.” taehyung silently gestures for the other to come in and jungkook did, locking the door behind him.

“how are you, taehyungie?” jungkook was sat in front of taehyung in the living room. there’s only the makeshift coffee table and some mats on the floor to sit on since taehyung have yet to buy a sofa.

“tired these days. in between work and unpacking. i’m jealous of kids who do nothing when they’re moving into a new home because they get a free pass to not do things around.” taehyung pouts silently, looking at the soda in can at hand while he traces a finger on the lid.

jungkook chuckles at that and after, no one speaks until, “i’ve heard about it.”

when taehyung makes no motion to respond to it, jungkook continues, “jimin hyung mentioned it to me one time that they were helping you move out so i asked... sorry.”

“it’s okay. i had friends who helped me. i got by.” taehyung winces.

“i wasn’t.” jungkook says, the here that follows hangs in the air which they know would follow.

“you were busy.” taehyung says instead.

jungkook would retaliate but he knows there’s no point.

“i sent you an invite to my exhibit. you went?” jungkook asks, hopeful.

“i did.”

“you didn’t insist to text me or write. i kind of assumed you would once you see it, but it’s okay. at least you did go to it.” jungkook pats his own thigh lightly to distract him.

“i wouldn’t know what to say. at the wedding, and even before that. i would feel something but i didn’t want to be that person and assume. i could be seeing it wrong, i don’t know.” taehyung rambles. “but then the other boys would also drop a few comments here and then.” and it’s true. sometimes jin would say teasing words and taehyung only acts as if he doesn’t get it and sometimes, he acts as if he didn’t hear it at all.

“you were happy. i don’t have any excuse.” jungkook whispers.

“now-“

“now what?”

“i guess to some extent, i liked you back. but i didn’t see it until now so i’m not going to rush this and jump into a relationship with you right away. it’s not fair to the both of us.”

“i understand. after all, your divorce is not yet finalized. i’d be here for you but i’m not gonna distract you from it.” jungkook assures him and that’s all he needs. everything will be okay.

“i know it’s the last day of your exhibit today. wanna go together?” taehyung smiles at jungkook and indeed, everything’s okay.

[autisticmob]

HELLO everyone i am now ten days out from my tiddy surgery so i think while everything is still fresh-ish in my mind I should get a rough timeline of how things went for me, just so anyone having similar stuff done in the future can have it as reference?? 

so under the cut is how shit went down, warning we are gonna be tmi about it for Max Information Dissemination, i will be talking about IV placement, Needles, Bleeding, Bruising, Bathroom Stuff In General, etc. so like. Be Warned.

OKAY SO what did i have done and how did i get it:

- i got a bilateral breast reduction with a “T,” “keyhole,” or “anchor-shaped” incision. this procedure, unlike double-incision top surgery, does not detach your nipples at all, but it DOES leave a decent hunk of breast tissue behind to avoid the nip graft. this connecting tissue keeps your nip attached and supplied with enough blood to survive. that means with this one, theres basically a limit to how much they can take off, and it depends on how big you are to start off with. 

- i went with the T-incisions because as a NB person, I wanted to sidestep the “gender-confirming surgery” route with my insurance. technically, I believe it would have been covered if i had gone through the process of talking to a therapist and getting a note that the surgery WOULD help confirm my gender, but i suspect it would have taken much longer, and I was afraid that my doctor and community resources would not have ended up approving me FOR the surgery since I don’t exactly fit the typical trans narrative. and luckily for me i had Massive, Spine-Bending G Cup Tiddies to contend with. so every doc that took a look at me said “yeah, you need those taken care of for medical reasons.” so i thought hey, let’s see how far this will get me!

- i talked to my primary care doc about my back pain and mentioned i’d like to look into a breast reduction, and she referred me to a local surgeon who could do the procedure. at the time i was still entertaining the idea of double-incision, but as it turned out, this surgeon just didnt do that. but i knew for certain my insurance would cover him, his results were good, and he was local, so i said yes to the T-incisions, which he said would likely get me down from a G to at least a C. it wasnt my ideal scenario admittedly, but frankly the back pain was getting to be too much, and i needed it to be addressed sooner rather than later.

- i had a consultation with the surgeon in early december, and they took pictures and measurements to send to my insurance so they could confirm the tits WERE in fact Too Bomb To Live. Doc said that it varies between insurance companies, but most will have a minimum amount of tissue that needs to be taken off, in grams, from each breast. he was like, “your insurance needs at least 1000g total removed, which’ll leave you on the small side, is that cool?” and i was like “My Man, take AS MUCH as you possibly can, im sick of these” and he was like “cool, makes my job easy then.” 

- it took my insurance like 1.5 to 2 months to get back to me, but late january the surgery place called me and we set a date for february 5th, 2020!!

PRE-OP:

- before i went into surgery, the hospital made me go over my medical history with them over the phone, informed me of all the risks, and gave me a special scrub kit to shower with at home for the last 2 days before the surgery

- fun fact this soap will make your whole bathroom and body smell strongly and exactly like a hospital and it is gross as hell if you hate hospital smell

- i also had to go to my primary care doc to get the OK that i was healthy enough to go under general anesthesia, and also get some blood tests and a urinalysis done. i fucked up the urinalysis tho (which is a whole other story) so i had to redo that the morning of the surgery when i got to the hospital anyway. 

- when i scheduled my surgery they also gave me a list of things i had to NOT DO before i went in. this included stuff like avoiding herbal medications and non-prescription supplements and not drinking any alcohol for like 2 weeks prior to surgery, and not eating anything after midnight the night before surgery.

- then it was SURGERY DAY!!!

- i went in with uhhh a LOT of anxiety about what everything would entail, ngl. i knew i had to do it because staring down the barrel of life with tiddies forever was way scarier than surgery, but yknow whenever you go under general anesthesia they legally do have to let you know that you could die and thats just a lot to consider, PLUS the whole thing involves just, really mangling your torso so like. its a lot! its okay to be scared!

- both my parents went with me for moral support which i appreciated a lot, but i didnt actually see them much since they had to spend a lot of it in the waiting room.

- when i went back with the doc they had me Wash The Tiddy Off with some antiseptic and change into a gown. i got some grippy socks out of the deal which is probably not a universal experience, but this hospital did it so shoutout to them for the socks i guess

- then they asked me all my medical history stuff again and checked me for any like, rashes or open sores or anything. i had some Tit Zits but they did not seem to be worried about that.

- then the surgeon came in and drew lines on me for the incisions. bro when i saw how high up my nips were gonna be i was losing my damn mind. this is one of the really exciting parts, because you finally get to really visualize what your end size is gonna be!! 

- once he was satisfied with how everything looked, they started really Prepping Me For Surgery.

- they hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff, a heart monitor, and some compression leg thingies that would inflate and deflate intermittently around my calves to help me not get blood clots. this felt weird but tbh also like kind of a nice massage

- then the iv placement. bro im not lying when i tell you this is the worst part. the nurse numbed me with some lidocaine before placing the needle and let me tell you that shit HURTED. lidocaine Stings and Burns when it hits and this was arguably the most painful part. but the good news about that is it means nothing else after that is all that bad. and i got THREE lidocaine shots because these two nurses could NOT find my blood anywhere. they finally called in their ringer (an EMT named kirk, s/o to kirk) who got that sucker in my arm with NO numbing and NO pain in like, 2 fucking seconds. i pray you all have a kirk. kirk knows where your fucking blood is and hes not gonna fuck around getting to it because he JUST wrestled a drunk dude into an ambulance like an hour ago and compared to that this is nothing. kirk had sleeveless scrubs. im obsessed. anyway.

- then they put a plastic, inflatable, heated blanket over me? it was between two regular blankets so it wasnt as uncomfortable as you might imagine, but it was strange. warm tho so that was nice.

- THEN they wheeled my bed down to surgery. i was having so much anxiety at this point it was like... dreamlike. getting wheeled into the OR was just surreal. i was like, no thoughts head empty, just taking everything in.

- once i got there the surgical team was very cool about keeping me calm tho. they were playing their like, pump-up music and one of the guys was like “hey fyi about halfway thru the surgery we will be turning the lights off and having a rave, just in the interest of full disclosure. promise not to leave any glowsticks in there tho” and i was like what no i would LOVE glowstick tiddies

- i had to kinda roll from my bed onto the operating table, which was significantly harder and smaller. that kinda made things feel real, so i got a little more anxious at that point.

- to help me calm down they had me breathe in some straightup oxygen thru a mask while they hooked my iv to the fluids and such, and the guy was like “WHOA you got some lungs on you dude” and i was like yeah thanks im recovering from hyperventilating

- then they let the anesthesia into the iv, letting me know the whole time what was happening, talking to me until i was just OUT, which was not a lot of conversation time because i was out in like 5 seconds or less. they didnt make me count down or anything, but i promise you it was nigh instantaneous.

POST OP

- it really was instantaneous. i know everyone says that but it really is the truth, it feels like the whole thing takes seconds. like one moment youre laying there in the OR feeling the drugs Hit, and the next youre waking up in the little wake-up room feelin kinda groggy with a nurse talking to you, and youre still druggy so youre just rambling to her about how fucked your voice sounds right now and as soon as shes contented that youre basically lucid they start wheeling you to your room where youll ACTUALLY stay while you recover.

- THE THING I WAS THE LEAST PREPARED FOR WAS MY THROAT

- your throat will Hurt afterwards, but even more than that, you will be producing So Much Mucus. my surgery took about 2 hours and during that time, all my muscles were paralyzed by the anesthesia, including my lungs, so i was on a breathing tube. my throat, understandably, hated this, and started producing Gallons Of Fucking Mucus to protect itself. it then continued to do this for the next two days or so. the nurses were encouraging me to breathe deep and cough Hard to combat this, and avoid getting pneumonia, so i did. but THAT hurt the tiddies. it was really a vicious cycle. but its necessary because god if i had to have pneumonia on top of all the other recovery shit?? god. 0/10 wouldnt recommend. so it might hurt but dont worry your tiddies wont bust open or anything.

- i spent basically the rest of the day still hooked up to all the machines i listed earlier, PLUS a thing that would beep at me if my heart rate went too high, which it did a lot because i have anxiety, but luckily the nurses didnt seem too concerned. it really kept my breathing on track though because if i didnt breathe deep enough my heart would shoot up super fast and it’d beep and god that was just annoying and im pretty sure that was The Point. you kinda have to get used to breathing again, and the beeping trained me.

- they gave me like a bunch of crackers and a huge mug of water to work on at my leisure. i actually had lunch pretty quick after waking up? i know a lot of people have nausea issues from anesthesia but i didnt experience any of that. i DID move like a fucking sloth while i was eating tho. the pain meds and general grogginess of recovery slowed my whole body down sooooo much. my mom was actually like “are you okay??? like neurologically??????” and i was, totally, i was just. on slo-mo.

- anyway i didnt have to get catheterized for this procedure thankfully but they DID make me measure my pee every time i went to the bathroom. like i had to pee in a little bucket attached to the toilet and the nurse had to come check it every time and i felt really weird about that. so idk just be prepared for that i guess lmao

- also idk if it was the pain meds or the anesthesia itself but post-op, i couldnt shit for like a week. the constipation is real so get u some fucking laxatives asap when you get home, this is not a joke lmao

- they also had me put on a belt every time i got up so the nurse could hold onto me in case i decided to fucking biff it. they got me up a couple times throughout the day/night to walk up and down the hallway outside and get my body used to being upright again

- oh speaking of i never got to lie down completely flat, they had my bed locked at like a 30 degree angle minimum to help with... something. im not quite sure what, but im not gonna question it

- when i got up the next morning they had a couple nurses come in and help me un-bandage so i could shower and finally look at what the tiddies looked like for the first time!! and it was exciting but i didnt cry like i expected lmao i think i was too drained and too distracted by the bleeding

- the bleeding wasnt too bad actually, just little beads kinda coming out of parts of the incisions between the stitches. but once i got in the shower obviously stuff started getting diluted in the water and it looked like a lot more than there actually was, so dont be alarmed by that! 

- SHOWERING: its a little complicated. youre not supposed to soak the incisions, and youre not supposed to apply direct water pressure or actually touch them at this point. so what i had to do was get a washcloth wet and soapy (with antibacterial soap, i think it was hand soap honestly. hand soap’s what ive been using at home so........) and then just kinda. squeeze it at your collarbone and let it drip down over everything kinda minimally. its kind of a process but it works fine. washing your hair and like, tbh literally everything else is gonna be hard. reaching over your head is hard and scary at this point. i will admit my hair care Suffered the first week. 

- then i got bandaged back up and they got me back into my own clothes and ready to go home! they also put a bra on me over the bandages in my new size. i was only there for about 24 hours total, since i didnt really have any complications. 

- on the ride home i had to make sure the cross-chest part of the seat belt was NOT touching me. if whoevers driving you hits a pothole, your soul WILL exit your body tits-first for a moment. im sorry if you live somewhere like here in nebraska where the roads are garbage but its not gonna be fun.

ONCE YOU’RE HOME!!

- i live at home with my mom and sister and if you live alone, id try to have a friend basically move in for the first week. you will need Help with things. basic things. you’ll mostly want to sleep because of the pain meds but those made me pretty dizzy so it was cool having my mom around in case i like. fell on the way to the bathroom and died or anything like that.

- changing bandages is really kind of a 2-person affair too, and youll have to do it at least once a day post-shower, so keep that in mind. 

- the bleeding is like, not that bad after that first day honestly. i never had to change the bandages more than just the once per day. 

- basically from here the procedure is just to take it easy, get up every few hours and walk around a little to keep the blood clots at bay, and enjoy yr new silhouette basically

- worst thing about recovery honestly? im a stomach/side sleeper, and i cant manage anything other than laying flat on my back with my arms at my sides right now, and thats just like.... idk i really cant sleep like that. its not comfy. ive had to set up kind of a pillow fort around me to keep me from rolling over in my sleep bc im afraid i might hurt myself accidentally like that, but idk how well-founded that fear is.

- i will say as someone who did have back problems before this, the difference is IMMEDIATE. i literally had better posture like Day 1. im still a little hunched over because the stitches create a bit of tension in your chest, but like literally it was instantaneous. god. once i got healed to a point that i could like, kinda relax and not be so fucking tense all the time? back pain has basically just been GONE. 

- other fun things to notice: i had some pretty significant stretch marks before, and now they are running in a completely different direction. i crossed my arms over my chest the other day and they actually touched my torso for the first time in like, well over a decade. if i close my eyes and try to grab my tiddy from muscle memory, i stop like a full 3 inches from where my tit actually starts now. the size i am now, just like, freeballing it? this is how i looked when i wore a binder before. if i wore a binder now i imagine id be completely flat, and honestly if i layer up at this point you cant really tell that i have anything more than the average chubby dude’s moobs, which as a kinda chubby person is totally fine. 

its a trip relearning what i look like and what im supposed to feel like but its just. such a fucking improvement over where i was. absolutely no regrets, regardless of how hard recovery has felt at times. anyway i hope this information is at least interesting and maybe helpful to anybody considering anything similar!!

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Broken Mirrors

Author: Evil_Kingdom

Year: 2010

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Vince/Richmond

Another Night, Another Bar...

Richmond takes a sip from his drink, some fruity dark red coloured drink, hell if he can remember what the name is. He takes a long gulp, shuttering at the after taste of alcohol. He thinks to himself what a weak man he is, far from what others he works with are like. Even Moss is stronger then him, and to everyone that says a lot.

But I thought you liked Moss?....

I do.

But you know he doesnt like you right?....

I know. No one likes me.

Oh dont be so hard on yourself Richie...

Shut up inner thought. Im tired of you being the only one to talk to.

He shakes his head, believing that maybe going out for a bit of air will be the solution to his problem. He gulped down the rest of his drink, places it carefully on the table, looks a round the room to see people giving him odd and funny looks

See? Maybe if you only dressed like them... maybe the would actually like you...

Not you too inner evil thought. Shut up

Richmond gives his head a big shake, then flattens out his long dark hair back into place. He then takes the steps through the crowd of people dancing irratically to the DJ with the toys up in the booth. He thinks to himself that maybe it was a bad day to come to the bar, a day when there is just too many people around. Not that he really minds that there are people around, it just isnt his type of people, so it makes for more awkward moments.

He instantly feels the cold air wrap around him as he pushes open the door. He cracks a small smile, feeling the comfort of a familiar friend

Hello Wind, nice to feel you again

He leans against the cold wall, closing his eyes for a brief moment, trying to collect all his thoughts and feelings.

Maybe I should just go home... Its not like im going to find anyone tonight.

Maybe you will never find anyone....

I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.

He lets out an exasperated cry, slamming his fits beside him into the wall. Tears start to gather in his eyes as he opens them, looking up into the shine of the moon,

It will be ok Richie, it will all work out soon....

Thanks moon, I can always count on you.

Im the Mooonnn....

Looking out onto the darkness of the streets, he sees gaggles of people, all sorts of people, dancing and being happy, drunk and laughing.

Why cant I be like them? Why cant I have some friends?

Richmond sighs again, standing up a bit straighter, rubbing the scratches on his hands.

No need to be sad anymore. Im better then this, I can get through this.

Being depressed just makes you a stereotypical goth Richie...

Thats right inner thought. And I'm not one to be stereotypical.

Pushing off from the wall, brushing his hands softly over his dark red velvet jacket, he gives himself a smile. Tomorrow will be a better night, tomorrow he will find someone to talk to.

Tomorrow tomorrow...

Richmond stares at himself in the mirror, checking every pore on his skin.

Perfect whiteness. Though I could lay off the sun a bit more, then it would be more perfect.

You know its fashionable to have a tan now a days Richie...

I know. But thats not who I am, I am a confident attractive young man.

Just keep telling yourself that....

Shut up inner evil thought. You cannot ruin my mood today. I am going to go out a meet someone. Just you watch me.

Giving himself a big smile, flashing his clean and white teeth, he applies the final stages of his eye makeup, adding a touch of black glitter to the corners of his eyes making his blue eyes sparkle.

Moving to the closet double doors he looks into rows of reds, deep purples and blues, hints of green, and rows upon rows of black. But at the very end, far back in the walk in closet, you can see a hint of his past, 3 normal suits still hang from bar, still unable to give away the last of the past.

He holds onto them thinking one day, one day, he may actually have the want to try them on, try on what he used to be, what it was like to be the cool guy, the guy with talent, friends, and a job that doesn't include staring at flashing buttons in the basement.

As he grabs his favourite creepers, a pair of black spiderweb socks, and a deep purple button up jacket, he sits on his bed and begins to hum a Cure song, one that he cant seem to get out of his head...

Oh please don't ask me who i am

Or when and where my life began

Or why i ended up like this or how

Standing up he brushes himself off and walks out into his hallway, out the front door, and on to the streets. Walking at a slow pace he watches the moon that sits high up into the night sky, surrounded by little stars, faint to see in the brightness of the cities lights. Continuing down the street, turning left, then making a right, he finds himself smack dab in the middle of bar and nightclub alley.

Now which one shall I pray upon tonight... hmmm decisions, decisions.

You make it sound as if you will have people just throwing themselves at you when you enter the doorway, you do know you will probably drink yourself stupid and wander home, just like every weekend.

Shut up inner evil thought. I told you. Tonight is my night. Tonight I will come home victorious. Gotta be confident, show them that Im a great person.

Richmond smiles to himself, confidence beaming through him like a flaming dagger sword from his heart.

And then he sees him.

The perfect figure of a man.

Gleaming black hair, shiny with product, perfect shape and placement

But not a goth.

Richmond gives a questionable look, heart beating faster in his chest.

Well he is a he...right?

That doesn't change anything, Im quite happy with any sexual preference. Not to say i'm not picky, but love is love you know, it doesn't have a gender.

For the first time in his life, his heart beats fast, quickens his pace, and jogs up to the club, slipping through the door, staring at the slight in front of him

Lights gleam from the ceiling, flooding the crowd with different colours, music loudly playing, but not loud enough to destroy eardrums. Not a bad selection of music, thankfully, Richmond hoping that there wouldnt be an idiot DJ tonight. He searches the club trying to find the man with the perfect hair... Bingo. Right next to the bar, sitting alone.

Here's my chance. Don't fuck it up.

He takes a deep breath, straightens out his clothes, fixes his hair, and makes a casual walk towards the bar.

“One cherry vodka sour please.”

He leans on the bar, trying to be casual and confident, thinking to himself that it probably doesn't look the case, but as long as he doesn't look ridiculous, its all that matters.

Well there he is Richie... go for it..

I will I will. Don't pressure me. You know what happens when I get pressured.

You get all clammy and your voice goes all squeaky and then people stare and laugh at you....

Thanks for the reminder asshole.

Richmond turns and glances towards the man. He makes eye contact, seeing full well the man beside him is staring. His face goes pink, but he can't look away...

“Can I help you? Are you starin' at me for a reason?” The dark haired man tilts his head

“Uhh... ummm... no, I was just looking over, sorry to bother you. I don't mean to make any trouble..”

Youre pathetic Richie. What happened to your confidence?...

“I don't mean to be mean, you don't have to get all defensive.” The man gives a small laugh,

“My name is Vince, Vince Noir, you probably heard about me, I am the king of Camden Town”

The man, Vince, flashes one of the most gorgeous smiles he's ever seen, his confidence clears.

“Umm no, sorry, I haven't heard about you...”

But I would love to..

Richie go for it. Give him something else to smile about....

“My name is Richmond, and I would love to find out why everyone knows you”

Richmond tries to give himself a confidence boost, giving a small cheeky smile, turning back to pay the bartender and grab his drink.

“Would you like a drink? My treat?” Richmond glances over Vince, seeing that he chooses the glam rock style, not something he is used to, but man does he make it look hot. He slowly gives him a once over, looking at his tight shiny shirt, trailing down to his black tight pants...

His eyes linger on his bulge, his perfectly pressed bulge against his pants, perfect...

“Oi mate, eyes up here, k love?” Vince flashes a coy smile, giving a small chuckle

He snaps out of his daze, face going red

“Im sorry, I didnt mean to, I mean I wasnt..”

if your face could get any redder, you would be a tomato.

“I'll take you up on your drink offer, a flirtini please, extra sour” Vince motions for him to take a seat beside him, giving him a cheeky grin.

He returns with drinks, placing his preferred drink in front of him, sliding into the booth beside him.

Now what are you going to do Richie? You cant just get him wasted you know

I know that... Im working on it.

“You alright mate? You arent the drug type are you?” Vince tilts his head towards Richmond, catching his eye, “You look a bit spaced out. I hope im not boring you or nothin”

“Oh no, no... no problem. Im just not used to someone being nice to me, usually I get brushed off quick and that is that” Richmond tries to smile it off, like its nothing.

Vince grins, his hand slowly creeping up Richmond's leg, stopping to grab his thigh. “Good. A pretty boy like you wanted to know about me, so heres how it starts”

Popping the cherry from his drink into his mouth he leans over, hand trailing down Richmond's thigh. His mouth getting ever so close, Richmond feeling his alcoholic breath push against his face, heart racing a mile a minute.

This is it. He is actually into me

Richmond leans forward, opening his mouth, tongue flicking forward hitting the cherry stem, before closing the gap with his lips..

Tonight be all i dream

There isn't any yesterday

Tomorrow starts a day away

This here and now with you is how

Always should always be

This

Here and now

With you

[coridallasmultipass]

Tmi / talk about menstruation and iud / venting / but i just wanna get this out, and maybe someone else is in the same boat as me because ive never been able to find any accounts of similar experiences ... I wanna preface this by saying im 26 and have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia/chronic pain, which is probably related but i dont know how. I normally have super heavy periods and debilitating cramps, along with discomfort during penetration (or similar activities) on some occasions. Ive tried a couple different birth control options over the years and each one has given me constant cramping. Its weird because the cramping on the pill (2 or 3 different kinds of BC pills in different times of my life) and depoprovera shot were the same in that i would get terrible cramps whenever i did any kind of activity but especially when i stand up from a sitting position. I remember being in college and standing up and having to immediately sit back down hunched over until it passed. I got the depo shot a few months ago and it was the worst thing ever. I had severe cramping with all kinds of movement (and havent been able to even touch myself without setting off the cramps) and after a month of it i started bleeding for a month straight until a doctor gave me estrogen pills on top of it to stop the bleeding. The pills stopped the bleeding but not the cramps, so the plan was for me to wait it out and try an iud next since the medicine would be administered locally instead of by pill or shot through my whole body.... three months during the depo shot i could not exercise or do any physical activity, which of course is making my fibromyalgia and mood worse. I feel like ive lost a whole year to the depo shot, on top of other health problems that have been acting up before the depo. It sucked and im not trying it again. I had about 2 weeks until the mirena iud insertion where i was taking the estrogen pills and still cramping (along with getting a full heavy and bad cramping period during the vitamin-pill week while i waited for the prescription to come in. The cramping was so bad i almost wanted to go to the emergency room, but it lessened by the next day even if i was still going through so many pads.) Before the iud insertion i took a pill the night before which the doctor said could help loosen up my organ to allow for easier insertion since ive never had a kid. I knew i could expect a lot of pain given how sensitive i know i am, but the few people ive heard get them said it was only really painful during and they were fine after, so i figure i could be strong and deal with it if its going to help stop my monthly cramping and bleeding. Turns out the insertion was the worst pain ive ever felt in my life. Normally having a speculum put in already puts me in considerable pain (a speculum feels like a shard of glass shoved in me) but it pales in comparison to getting the iud. I was crying out and struggling to stay still during the proceedure but once it was over i hoped it would start to feel better. It burned with pain and still does days later. I didnt realise i would get severe cramping immediately after the insertion, but i could barely stand up. The doctors had to let me stay in the room for like a half hour before i could limp back to the car. Im lucky i had my mom to drive me home because i could still barely breathe it hurt so badly. I took tylenol about a half hour before the proceedure but i dont think it did anything. I couldnt take advil because of other medicines im taking. So the only other thing i could do is lay there screaming in pain with the heating pad pressed on me. A few hours later my mom had to call an on-call doctor from the same hospital and he said to go to the er so we went. The rest of the night is kind of blurry i was in so much pain and could barely think. The er gave me a painkiller and later a muscle relaxant before telling me i have to stop my other meds so i can take advil. I was there for like 6 hours i think, feeling waves of terrible cramps that feel like a knife is slicing the inside of me - the same feeling as the iud insertion. I feel bad for everyone who had to hear me screaming every 10 minutes and my mom who had to stay with me. The doctors kicked me out immediately after giving me advil and i went home barely able to even walk or move. It took me another 2 hours to manage to fall asleep even though i was so exhausted and had the worst chest and body pain from being so tense at experiencing the worst pain of my life. Nornally, if unmedicated, ill get periods so bad im screaming in pain, but it will only last 1-2 hours until the advil or tylenol kicks in and dulls it down to a bearable ache, so this iud was supposed to be my fall back on options to eliminate cramps. (I really wish the doctor would just let me get a hysterectomy i dont ever want kids and this whole situation is giving me severe gender dysphoria) Yesterday i spent the whole day sleeping off my traumatic er experience and today im still getting really horrible waves of cramping and nausea. Thankfully im not bleeding (...yet?) But it still feels like having a tampon being yanked out of me that wont come out. The knife feeling isnt there so im not screaming, but the cramps are still so bad and i dont know if i need to take it out. The er doctor said to take it out if the advil doesnt help, and that this is most likely anxiety making the pain get out of control. The er nurse said this is normal. Like??? How the fuck to people deal with this im scared about taking it out because thats probably going to hurt even more. I forgot to ask my prescribing doctor if theres a risk for toxic shock or something but like i dont have a fever its just so painful feeling it there. The placement is "right" according to the ultrasounds but it hurts so much and is still giving me cramps I really dont know how anyone could deal with this the whole thing is so upsetting i want it out but i dont want to deal with the proceedure to get it out and that same severe cramping i dont think theyll allow it to be a surgical removal but i wont be able to sit there and deal with it again!!!! Just thinking about all of it is giving me more anxiety too, i have such dysphoria about my internal organs and such a terrible phobia about even having them!!! This amount of cramping should not fucking be "normal" i hate being invalidated at the er like that God i just dont know what to do the cramping is so bad and im still scared of getting an ulcer from the advil. Thats another thing. A year ago i got an ulcer from taking advil because of period cramps, so ive been suffering taking tylenol! Thats why i want a BC that works to get rid of cramps and bleeding!! Now here i am with the worst cramps and bloating of my life!! How am i expected to function like this!!! I dont remember half of the past few days because ive been in so much pain!!! I can only hope this gets better because it feels worse today than it did yesterday, even if its not as bad as the day before when i had the insertion done. The doctor said if im still having the same kind of cramps ive been getting with the other types of birth control after a month i can look into other options (hopefully hysterectomy!!) But thats so far away and i havent been able to practise driving or apply to any jobs because i cant fucking do more than sit or lie down because of the god damn cramps Ive lost like all my personality and enjoyment of life and lost any one i could call a friend because this is consuming me and i cant fucking do anything i hate it i just want something to go right for once i want to be able to exercise again i love exercising and i havent been able to go for a walk without getting winded and severe cramping I cant even find other people that get cramping on birth control when standing up or doing activities so i dont know why this is happening to me ive looked everywhere i can and all i get is dysphoria because """"mensutruation is a womens health problem"""" and my phobia of pregnancy makes it impossible to browse forums I dont know what my point to all this is i just really need to vent because i feel so alone with this specific problem Life sucks and then you die i guess lmao

[sweetfictionalthings]

Hello

Helooo its been a year.

Nothing much happened, beside i actually got a job this year. In a freaking ministry, with a badass minister (woman!).

At the beginning of the year what i wanted was only to get a decent town for my placement. Along the way, i got into this mess called feelings.

At first it was this stupid crush over this guy, nothing happened though, he was not cute or smart or anything just a little bit charismatic (that, and there were not many options available). We didn’t talk much (hell we only talked for like, a day). There was this training for two weeks, and i didnt even got a chance to talk him, so it was safe to say he was not even my friend.

That two weeks training is over, so lets move forward to the “three weeks training”. Okay it’s too long. Should i call it “a training where i expected nothing NOT even best friends but at the end of the month i weep uncontrollably because i dont want to lose them”? SHIT too long.

Lets break it down shall we?

I was blind. I did not see the hidden gem in front of me! I did not even know him UNTIL the first day of class. I mean he was not attractive, but i gotta admit he was a lil bit cute! He was funny though, REALLY FUNNY that his presence alone made me laugh. Thinking about it now making me sad.

Here is the thing: I was pretty sure he liked me lol. But now? Nope.

The eye contact? Man i swear to god he was looking at me first. I was not attractive, not even in the slightest, so i took it as a pinch of salt. There were thirty of us but somehow we always managed to sit together (to be fair the four of us, we will get into it later).

He was real nice to everyone, so everytime he was being nice to me, i was just yaudah.

Update; it was just a crush, in 2020 i got over it :)