#and he says none of them fully fit but one of them is closest

[vicariouseyes]

.

[sweetkpopmusings]

stray kids soulmate aus | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: eeeeeee my favorite kind of aus: soulmate aus!!! i was going to put all of the boys' pieces in the same post, but i could not resist writing more than a short blurb for them, so they are each getting their own post :,-) i'll add links to each of their names as i post these ! i'm not doing them in any particular order, but it felt right to start with the love of my life, hyunjin <33 pics not mine~

content: fluff, soulmate au | wc: 1.3k | warnings: none! | pairing: soulmate!hyunjin x gn!reader | requests: open

♡ chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin ♡

each soulmate has half a quote that is important to their relationship tattooed on their body.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

hyunjin rubbed his fingers over that one spot on his collarbone. i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. those words, the half of a whole, were the only tie he had to you. touching that engraving on his flesh was the closest he could come to being held by you, and he craved that comfort the most when his heart raced like this. 

today was the kind of day hyunjin wished would wrap up sooner than later. he knew it wouldn’t, not when the sun had only recently risen and his day had started hours ago. days like this, full of schedules, full of practice, full of work, full of stress–these were the days that went on forever. adrenaline and caffeine buzzed through his body. hyunjin was ready to race through the day, fully aware that his limbs would ache at the finish line, leaving him with nothing to do but collapse into rest as soon as it was over. 

i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. 

hyunjin had missed chan calling his name five times, forcing his eyes to turn in the general direction of chan’s whereabouts when he finally replied, “yeah?”

“we are going to the convenience store. want to come with?”

chan’s question came out as more of a suggestion, and hyunjin did not need much convincing to get a change of scenery. he caught up with his members, walking quickly at the back of the group, his feet falling on the ground in a steady beat of i remember we broke into. maybe the stress had his mind too jumbled to be down on earth. maybe he was lost in questions of what in the world the other half of that quote could be. maybe he was annoyed that he forgot to bring his good sunglasses on a day the sun was shining brightly. maybe he simply yearned for his bed and a break. regardless of the reason, something preoccupied hyunjin, which caused him to bump his shoulder against someone else’s body. 

“ah!” hyunjin grabbed his shoulder.

“i’m sorry! are you okay?”

one of your hands clasped the shoulder with which you had hit hyunjin. in your other hand, you held something that captured all of hyunjin’s attention: a banana man plushie, fitted with a deadpan expression and a bright yellow hoodie. hyunjin, without registering much else of the situation, burst out laughing. you were surprised by this, to say the least. however, once you followed his gaze and saw that he couldn’t take his eyes off your friend’s birthday gift in your hand, you burst into laughter yourself. that banana man, in that moment, was the funniest thing in the world. you and hyunjin knew that for a fact when you felt your stomachs cramp and ache from the laughter. the way that you two were giggling and fighting for air was nothing short of contagious, so all the people walking around you started to believe that the plushie was top-tier entertainment. not that either of you noticed, when all of your attention was focused on something special between you.

hyunjin took a gasp of air he desperately needed. while the banana man was captivating, he looked toward the source of the laughter that mixed so sweetly with his own, and he found you.   for the first time that day, his eyes completely focused on the world in front of him. hyunjin couldn’t look away, and, heart fluttering with a joy and excitement he didn’t quite understand, he smiled and savored the sound of your final chuckles. after you caught your breath, you absentmindedly massaged the point of contact on your shoulder, and you waited for hyunjin to answer your previous question. he stared at you, confusion furrowing his brow slightly, until he felt a small pang in his shoulder and remembered you two had just crashed into each other. 

“yeah, yeah, i–i am. sorry, are you..are you okay?”

you nodded, endeared by his light laughs lingering in the air, the way he stumbled over words as he caught his breath, and his brown eyes. there was a pause, so you moved your hand away from your shoulder to grab your bag, though you had absolutely no intention to leave. something held you there; this moment between you and the beautiful boy in front of you wasn’t meant to end yet (or, at least, you weren’t ready for it to). unbeknownst to you, that simple movement of your hand revealed a tattoo just like hyunjin’s. the words were different, but the script, placement, size, and even the slant of it beneath your collarbone was a mirror image of the words hyunjin carried on his body.

laughter when we saw each other.

hyunjin’s heart raced.

laughter when we saw each other. 

his pulse found a new rhythm, one his mind fell perfectly into step with, as his eyes danced across each letter on your skin.

laughter when we saw each other. laughter when we saw each other. laughter when we saw each other.

hyunjin’s jaw dropped. you looked back at the wide-eyed man, unsure as to why you telling him that you were okay after your collision was shocking news.

“i remember we broke into laughter when we saw each other,” hyunjin said softly.

you heard him perfectly clear, though you weren’t entirely sure what he meant by that, so you teased him, “we did just see each other, so i hope you’d remember that.”

he smiled, another quick laugh falling from his lips as he moved his shirt collar to reveal the words on his collarbone, “i remember we broke into laughter when we saw each other.”

now your jaw dropped, “oh my god.”

a flurry of butterflies unleashed in hyunjin’s stomach because he couldn’t believe how cute you looked when shock and wonder filled your expression, but he managed to ask, “do you know what it’s from?”

“no, i–”

your answer was interrupted by chan calling out hyunjin’s name. hyunjin whipped his head toward him, signaled with a wave of his hand that he’d be there shortly, and returned his attention to you. you stared at his collarbone, seeing the tattooed words clearly, despite the fabric of his shirt covering them. he giggled as he reached his hand out to you, a new contact page opened on his phone.

without having to think, you accepted the phone and typed in your number, “i don’t think i’ve heard that before.”

“well, i have to go back to work, but would you be able to look it up and send me what you find?”

“of course,” your fingertips brushed against his when you handed the phone back, and you smiled brightly in response to the soft electricity.

“i’m hyunjin.”

“i’m y/n.”

he inhaled as though he were smelling freshly baked bread, and serenity washed over him, “i’ll see you soon, y/n.”

“i sure hope so, with us being soulmates and all.”

he laughed as he waved goodbye, and you laughed as you watched him walk away. i remember we broke into laughter when we saw each other.

unable to resist the temptation, you stepped out of the flow of pedestrians and typed those words into the search bar. Ada Limón’s “What I Didn’t Know Before” popped up immediately. reading the last four lines over and over again, you felt butterflies swarm your stomach and certainty rush through your heart.

“I remember we broke into laughter / when we saw each other. What was between / us wasn't a fragile thing to be coddled, cooed / over. It came out fully formed, ready to run."

this poem was, without a doubt in your mind, the correct solution to the question you had been asking your whole life. you also knew, without a doubt in your mind, hyunjin was the right person to hold your heart, after it had been calling out to someone from its first beat. you sent hyunjin a link to the poem, holding on tightly to the banana man plushie as you walked toward your next destination.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[ijustliketoreadstuff]

I will now list my favorite things about each S5 episode, I'll list one thing to keep it short

 1.finding out Fu met Ladybug and Cat Noir in the past. It could have been anyone who helped him that day in "Origins", but he always knew it would be them.

2.Adrien attempting to greet Marinette with a kiss on the cheek. It's normal for Parisians(and others I imagine) but for a lot of us it tends to only happen with people you feel the most comfortable and closest to.

3.Marinette actively being the image of stress and responsibility piled onto one young person as she tries to think ahead and plan for the worst possible outcome.

4.Ladybug checking Mr. Damocles pocket in hopes there really is a clue to Monarch's location.

5.The cafeteria identity reveal, it was chaotic gold *chefs kiss

6.Luka purposely trying to make Adrien jealous to get him to realize his feelings for Marinette.   ufvbhgfvbnjhgv!!! XD

7.Nathalie accepting Emelie's blessing to be a mother to Adrien.

8. The miraculous ancestor making their official debut into the show.

9. Marinette being open about her frustrations and telling everyone its unfair she be the only one who shouldn't love whomever she wants.

10. Alya and Zoe becoming the new(but still temporary) holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous.

11.Adrien unknowingly defying his father and taking back the ladybug earrings from him.

12.Everyone adding their phone numbers to Kagami's contacts so she knows they are all there for her.

13.Luka's vision shifting back and forth between viewing Marinette and Adrien as civilians and heroes.

14. Sabrina gradually realizing that Chloe has no respect for her.

15.Marinette making the effort to not fall back into her old habits, but still struggling none the less cause its hard.

16.Adrien switching to his pajamas so Marinette doesn't feel embarrassed about showing up to the mansion in her pajamas.

17. Marinette being considerate of Zoe's feelings while giving her a proper rejection.

18.Amalie realizing that the rich people she spent her whole life trying to please and fit into is filled with terrible people who don't care about her or her family.

19.Marinette standing up to Gabriel and not taking any of his smack talking, she was ruthless and it was glorious.

20.Lila collecting blackmail, she's evil, but man is she good at it.

21. Lila finally being exposed as a liar, I've waited 80 years(not really) for this very moment.

22. Adrien being rebellious and talking back to his dad, with mom-I mean Nathalie fully supporting him. Him saying bye to Nathalie and not Gabriel was a nice cherry on top.

23. Marinette refusing to let Chloe belittle and hurt her once again.

24. Adrien's nightmare and him still retaining that nightmare. The chaos, the desperation, the drama, holy smokes it was awesome. (I like chaos)

25 and 26. All of it.....all of it

[eclipse-rain]

Olo'eyktan Ao'nung and his cold Tsahik!reader;

☆☆☆

Warnings ; angst, reader is Neteyams ex-mate, aged up characters, no pronouns

Masterlist~

☆☆☆

- it started when you came to the Metkayina clan with the Sullys

- from a young age you were brought up to be the Tsahik of your clan, like Neteyam was to be Olo'eyktan

- it was an arranged marraige but soon over time you and Neteyam fell for each other

- you loved each other so much that you mated, although not for life, and became pregnant while staying at the Metkayina clan because although you would no longer be together as leaders you still wanted to be together regardless

- that didnt last long of course as Neteyam ended up dying because of the humans

- thus another arranged marraige was put into place for your well being and for the well being of the clan

- no Tsahik had been brought up to wed Ao'nung as none were seemingly qualified to fit that role, but you were another story, you were perfect in every way

- After Neteyams death everyone left you be to grieve but soon the idea of finding a new mate was brought up by your closest loved ones, even Neteyams own parents, for the sake of your health as it was a key oart in life for all Na'vi people

- you couldnt dwell on the past forever, you would have to move on eventually Neteyam would want you and the rest of his family to do so, for your sake and theirs

- Ao'nung saw how you were more open with Neteyam than anyone else, shedding your cold exterior when your mate was around

- once he died you never revealed that part of you again to anyone else, not even him

- not even after mating for life and becoming Tsahik, not even after all the years you had been together and having children with each other

- you were a bit different towards your children though, being more of the strict parent in public while softer and kinder when in private for their sake

- everything you did now was for them and although there were whispers and rumors about you loving and cherishing your eldest son, the only child you had with Neteyam, over the rest of your children who you had with Ao'nung they were all simply just that ; rumors

- you loved them all equally and although you were strict, you were graceful and stratigic in everything you did, living for your children, for your clan, for Eywa

- and while Ao'nung loved you like he never loved before, like you were his first and his last and his only, you stayed removed from him

- you couldnt love again, not romantically anyway, maybe for the fear of it, you werent sure but you didnt care to try and fix that anyway, there was no point you two worked together in perfect harmony as it was, it didnt need to be ruined with unnecessary feelings

- Ao'nung grew up to be the fierce tough leader he was brought up to be, he had his father and mothers strongest qualities like how they had wished for

- even so he never hesitated to take care of you in everyway possible, give you anything you wished for and while he was determined in everything he did he would only bend to your will

- only to you would he back down on a matter or take your side over anothers

- you also had the highest say in matters dealing with you and his children especially when it came to the one that wasnt his by blood

- he would accompany you to Eywa when you wished to see Neteyam or even just if you wished to find comfort with her or pray

- They said you would eventually get over it, that time fixes everything and you were happy now, maybe even happier then back then but you never did get over it fully, never did let him go

- you couldnt, not when you saw the ghost of him everyday in your first born

- he was even sometimes ostracised by other clan memebers for it, for not being their Olo'eyktans blood, although not out right and they never dared to aimed such thoughts at you

- because it was ture that you really were perfect as Tsahik, it was like it was the most natural for you, you had this will about you where anyone would shrivel back i to themselves just in your presence

- no one ever wanted to see what you were like if you got mad, but you never did, you always stayed almost unnervingly calm

- you and Ao'nung made a ferocious pair and soon would be known as the strongest leaders in the history of the clan

☆☆☆

Really wanted to make a fanfic out of this but i got lazy and thought it would be too sad and no one would read it 🤷‍♀️

It ended up being pretty short compared to what i usually write too :/ oh well

If you guys havent voted on my recent pole (its important to me) pls do here

[jebewonmorelike]

Let’s Win This Love

part 2: keita's ending; matthew's ending (coming soon) wc: 2.6k pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: I think I said h*ll maybe a couple more swears, otherwise pretty silly and fluffy and fun summary: keita and matthew (aegyo) battle for an oblivious planetmaster/idol!reader's affection in this semi-realistic fictional retelling of boys planet episodes 3 & 4 ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ A Cancer and a Gemini having the same taste and then duking it out is literally so typical, I can't. Honestly, this one has a very respectful dash of crack, I think I wrote Zhang Hao, Kuanjui, Zihao and the star masters a little too funny, but that's why it's only "semi-realistic". Hopefully you think its funny too. :) Also, this technically exists in the same world as the Junhyeon one... Since I wrote that the reader is also from my new canon fictional idol group "Virtual Reality". So if you want to believe that this is a prequel to that one, that is hilarious and I fully support it. This was a request and I was so happy to get it, please send more <3

"Okay, this is Kill This Love practice room. G-group are on the far side, K-group closest to the door," a producer explains quickly while a stylist smoothes your hair down.

"Thank you," you say with a smile, nodding at the stylist first and then the producer.

"Whenever you're ready," she says, backing away so you can open the door. You reach your hand out, grabbing the door handle and pulling slowly before stepping inside the practice room.

You stand there for a moment, looking at the two groups of boys sitting very endearingly in little circles on the floor. A smile creeps onto your face as you watch them carefully discuss what positions they should take for their performances.

"OH MY GOD!" One of the trainees shouts suddenly from the other side of the room. It startles you a bit as the other trainees begin to freak out as they recognize you as well.

You nod respectfully to them in a greeting, laughing at the boys' excited reactions. "Hi," you say with a little wave.

The boys shout their hellos back.

"I'm (Y/N) from Virtual Reality, for anyone who doesn't know. I'm here as a Planet Master to help you throughout the week with your performances," you explain. "I'd love to sit in for a while as you decide your parts for the song, if that's okay?"

"Can we go first, please?" A very tall and intimidating boy from the K-group team asks as he jumps to his feet.

"Yes, since you said please," you agree with a nod, making your way over to the circle of K-group trainees on the floor. You sit with them for about fifteen minutes, the process of divvying up parts going incredibly quickly. They all seemed to have an idea of exactly what they were going to do before they even sat down, all ring-led by that giant boy who, as it turns out, is a golden retriever in disguise.

Making your way over to the G-group now, you quietly join their floor circle as the boy on your left speaks.

"It's natural that we all want the killing part, but we have to think of what is best for the team's performance first and foremost," the dark-haired boy says articulately. You can't help but notice he looks a bit familiar to you. He turns to you, smiling, but his name tag is blocked.

"Please, keep going! I love how you worded that," you compliment him, hands gesturing for him to continue.

"Thank you," he accepts, as he sits with one knee hugged to his chest. "I think the best way to figure out who gets what part might be for everybody that wants it to try it out. Then we can determine who fits it most."

They audition the Killing Part first. Each boy takes a turn, the brown-haired boy to your right named Matthew seeming very determined to win, but it's clear that the trainee best suited for the part is Keita, the boy on your left. They put it up to a group vote after everyone has taken their turn.

"Do I get to vote?" You ask with a laugh.

"Yes, but only if you're going to vote for me," Keita says, grinning.

"Wooow," you sigh in disbelief.

"Of course you get to vote," Zhang Hao, the leader, confirms. "But... Only if you vote for me."

Zhang Hao prompts everyone to point to their choice in three, two, one...

Almost every finger is pointed at Keita, including yours. His, however, is pointed at Matthew.

"Keitaaaa, okay, okay," Zhang Hao congratulates. The smaller boy bows his head gratefully and there's something about the way he does this that confirms you have in fact seen him before.

"Keita..." You think out loud, brows furrowing. "Keita, why are you so familiar to me?"

He laughs. "Because I sat behind you at the Asia Artist Awards last year."

"OH MY GOD! You're the one that stepped on the back of my shoe!" You say, finally remembering where you'd seen his face before.

"Exactly!" He confirms much too happily, before realizing what you said. "Hey. I apologized for that!"

"I'd like to change my vote to this one," you say, pointing at the boy on your right. "He would never step on my shoe."

"You're right, I would never step on your shoe," Matthew confirms with a smile, but you take notice of how sad he looks after losing the part.

"Too bad, you were only allowed to vote if you voted for me anyway, remember?" Keita says with a grin.

You roll your eyes. "Whatever, shoe-stepper."

The boys continue voting on parts; the main vocal first, then the main rapper, then subvocal one, then subvocal two... You watch as Matthew, the youngest member of the team, loses each part and, in turn, all of his confidence. His eyes are glued to his lap and your heart absolutely breaks when you see a tear fall onto his pants leg as he's handed the subvocal two part.

"Aw, this one," you say with a little laugh, motioning with your hand for Matthew to lean over to you. "Come here, I need to hug you."

The boy stares at you for a second, doe-eyed before quickly moving into your open arms.

"You look so sad, I can't stand it," you say, patting his back comfortingly as you squeeze him gently. Pulling away from the hug, you keep one hand on his shoulder. "You're doing great. I know you probably feel a bit rejected and that's not a nice feeling. But this is the right part for you... and whether you wanted it or not, you have to make the best of it. Also, I'm not gonna lie, it's actually my favorite part of this song."

He nods quickly, clearly flustered by the attention you're giving him. You have been told before that your ability to never break eye contact is both impressive and incredibly intimidating.

"The year is 2019. The world is about to basically explode and nobody knows it yet. All I care about is releasing our next song," you start to say dramatically as you turn to address the whole group.

"Oh! Are you sharing a personal anecdote that will resonate with each of us and motivate our team to work together cooperatively to win the challenge?" Zhang Hao asks excitedly.

You blink back at him, a pout eventually forming on your lips. "Well I was going to, but you ruined it."

"I was actually wondering something."

You turn to your left as Keita speaks. "Yeah?"

"I actually got the Killing Part," Keita says carefully, before looking up to meet your eyes. "Why don't I get a hug?"

Chen Kuanjui falls flat on his back with a shriek as Zhang Hao snorts so loud you swear he's part horse.

"Didn't you hear?” Kuanjui asks rhetorically at the ceiling. "You only get a hug if you look sad.”

"Jealousy was blocking his ears," Wang Zihao quips.

"Oh," Keita considers, nodding. "I can be sad."

"No! No more sad!" You interject, placing one hand on Matthew's knee and the other on Keita's. "Neither of you are allowed to be sad."

"Would you like us to be sad then?" Min asks.

"NO!" You shout, hands flying to your head as you grapple with the weight of the existence of boys. "None of you can be sad anymore starting now."

"But then how am I supposed to get a hug?" Keita asks, smirking back at you.

"Shoe-steppers do not get hugs under any circumstances anyway, not even sadness," you reply with a frown.

"Well Keita can keep the killing part if it means I get the only hug," Matthew figures, smiling at you sweetly.

You watch as Keita's eyes narrow at the younger boy.

"(Y/N)! Time to switch rooms, please," a staff member suddenly calls, holding open the door for you.

You sigh, pushing yourself up with your hands to stand and scanning over the team with a sigh. "No more sadness. No more hugging. No more shoe-stepping."

Your eyes fix on Zhang Hao. "And no more interrupting people's personal anecdotes that they so graciously prepared for you."

All of the boys nod in agreement.

"Please work hard. There's a ton of talent in this group. I can't wait to see your progress in a few days!" You say before walking to the door, waving to all of the Kill This Love trainees.

"Fighting!"

~

"Hi," Keita greets, hands behind his back.

It's evaluation day and you're sat with pH-1 to your right and Seok-hoon and Young-joon to your left on a folding chair in a large practice room, waiting for the Kill This Love G-Group to join you. Keita is the first to arrive, hesitating for a moment at the door before walking straight up to you.

"Oh," you say, admittedly a bit surprised. "Hi."

"You were right the other day. I didn't ever get the chance to properly apologize for the whole shoe incident," he says, bottom lip between his teeth.

"What? What shoe incident?" Young-joon asks curiously.

"Oh, he... He stepped on the back of my shoe at the AAA's last year," you explain quickly.

"Not on purpose, of course," Keita adds.

"I fell down and everything."

"OKAY, WILL YOU JUST--..." Keita stops himself and laughs disarmingly. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry."

"What's behind your back?" Seok-hoon prods.

"Oh, um..." Keita produces a small bouquet of roses, handing them to you. "For you."

"Holy--," pH-1 starts, but Young-joon shushes him.

You stare at the flowers. "Are you... trying to buy my forgiveness?"

"Yes," Keita agrees hastily, then shakes his head. "No. Well... Sort of. I just wanted to say that, like... I obviously wasn't glad that you fell or anything that day. But I was glad that the whole incident made you remember me."

"Yes, negatively."

"Right, well. I know we might've gotten off on the wrong foot... No pun intended. But I just wanted to try to fix that," he offers awkwardly, shifting his weight from one side to the other a few times.

You nod. "Thank you. I'll consider it."

Keita smiles hopefully before going to take a seat in one of the chairs to the left of the room.

"Wow," pH-1 sighs. "You're cold."

"What? He made me fall on national television."

"Yeah, but he clearly really likes--." The rapper is cut off by another trainee entering the practice room.

Matthew runs up to you, planting himself in front of you before bowing slightly with respect. "Hi," he says with a shy smile.

"Hi," you greet him, smiling back. "How are you doing, my favorite subvocal two?"

You hear an exasperated sigh from the left side of the room.

"I'm good! Thank you for being so nice the other day. What you said really helped me," Matthew says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small pink box. "Uh, I just bought you something as a proper thank you."

You open it, finding several expensive assorted chocolates inside. "Oh... That's... That's so sweet of you. But I'm actually allergic to chocolate."

Matthew's eyes widen with sheer panic as you put the lid back on the box and hand them to Seok-hoon, who begins popping them in his mouth gleefully.

"It's okay, he'll eat them," you assure Matthew, whose cheeks are bright red. "Thank you, though!"

He nods apologetically and runs off to take a seat on the left side of the room.

"Can I ask what sort of magic spells you were performing in those practice rooms, (Y/N)?" Young-joon asks amazedly.

"I’m not complaining," Seok-hoon replies decidedly, throwing back the last chocolate.

As the whole Kill This Love G-group team finally files into the room and takes their positions for their evaluation performance, you watch as Matthew and Keita appear to send each other very competitive and almost hostile glances. Keita's eyes narrow in the same way they did when Matthew had subtly bragged about getting a hug. You wonder what could possibly be going on with them.

Your suspicions only grow stronger as their performance continues. Matthew and Keita's parts are riddled with elaborate and distracting bits of aegyo and, at one point, the two seem to be engaged in some sort of full-on aegyo battle. The rest of the boys dance around them, the incredibly annoyed expressions on their faces actually much more fitting to the theme of the song.

When the song concludes, Seok-hoon fully turns around in his seat, head in his hands as he stifles his chuckling. Young-joon is scribbling furiously on his note pad and pH-1 is just sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

You figure now's as good a time as any to chime in.

“Matthew.”

The boy’s eyebrows raise in anticipation as you sternly call his name. You watch as Keita looks down at the floor, smiling to himself.

“Keita."

His head shoots up to look at you, visibly surprised that you’ve said his name, too.

“Respectfully… What in god’s green earth are you both doing?”

"I've been asking myself the same question all week," Zihao comments dejectedly.

You watch both of the boys glance at each other nervously before turning back to you. “What the hell is with all the aegyo?"

Seok-hoon brings his clipboard up to cover his mouth as he bursts into laughter.

"Yeah, you know, I noticed that too," Young-joon agrees with a smirk. "I thought you were trying to kill this love... not make it."

"That was a terrible joke, but he's right. The whole point of this song is to voice your anger about the pain that love causes. Kuanjui, was this your choreography?"

"You know it wasn't," he deadpans.

You nod. "I do and I admire your willingness to throw your teammates under the bus."

"Is that admirable?" Seok-hoon asks.

"It is when your teammates are acting like Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber," you answer, shaking your head in disbelief. "Seriously, what is going on?"

"What's going on is that you're Tweedle-Dumbest," pH-1 says with a snort.

"What? What do you mean?" You question, one eyebrow raised in defense at the accusation.

"I mean, you're sitting in between a bouquet of roses and a pink box of chocolates," Seok-hoon says, gesturing to the gifts on either side of you as deafening silence sweeps over the room.

"... They're both in love with you, Sunbaenim," Zhang-Hao announces loudly.

Your mouth hangs open slightly as the realization hits you. "Oh," you manage to squeak out with a nod, knowing a blush is creeping across your cheeks. "I am Tweedle-Dumbest."

"Why do you boys never bring me presents?" Young-joon questions. "Don't you think I'm pretty?"

You finally muster enough courage to look up again at Matthew and Keita. Matthew looks like he wishes he was being catapulted to another planet, while Keita is just grinning at you like an (adorable) idiot.

"Sorry for calling you names," you say softly, bowing your head apologetically. "I appreciate your sweet gestures."

"Well..." pH-1 says with a sigh. "Which one are you going to choose?"

"WHAT!?" You yell, rolling up your papers and smacking him with them.

"Personally, I would choose Matthew," Seok-hoon says nodding appreciatively at the younger trainee.

"There's just something about Keita though, you know?" Young-joon poses, his hand reaching up to his chin as he pretends to daydream.

You shake your head in defeat, groaning into your hands. This is a logistical nightmare. Suddenly, you lift your head as you think of the perfect answer to pH-1's question.

"I'll look forward to a date with whichever one of you debuts," you announce, followed by a chorus of satisfied 'oohs' and 'aahs' from both the star masters and the other boys. You watch as Keita and Matthew exchange competitive yet amicable looks, the older of the two holding his hand out for the other to shake. Mentally, you pat yourself on the back for being able to restore the atmosphere with the brilliant solution.

“But what if they both debut?" Zhang Hao asks suddenly.

"ZHANG HAO, I SWEAR TO--."

[the-paper-shredder]

Overanalyzing The Juniper Tree concerning Wick

HELLO EVERYONE! This is my second Wick theory posted here and I'm glad that I decided to do The Juniper Tree because Oh My God. There's SO much packed into this fairytale.

Long post ahead.

Anyway, for some context: what is The Juniper Tree? Well, it's an old, dark German fairytale that is featured in Journal Page 29 (aka the one related to Caleb)

Well, technically the actual fairytale isn't word-for-word written like how it is in Wick, but still. It's literally a variant of The Juniper Tree. Most people assume this is a poem made by Hellbent Games themselves just to be like “Yeah Mary killed Caleb lol” but it's a full fairytale published by the Brothers Grimm.

So, what are the themes, before we get into all the passages? Well...

Child abuse, murder, CANNIBALISM, and biblical symbolism. Very much in line with Wick, especially Caleb. Be warned, however, the cannibalism thing is an absolute jumpscare if you're reading it for the first time.

Anyway let's get started.

Alright, first things first is that the mom dies during childbirth and another woman (the stepmom) takes her place. Do I think this has any heavy relevance to Wick? Not really. It could be symbolic with Mary, as in once she had Caleb the past her “died”.

The next part about the stepmom loving her daughter but hating her stepson to the point of abuse suggests something not many consider... Caleb, like Tim and Tom, was abused by Mary as well. You'd think for seeming to be the golden child of the family, Mary wouldn't do that to Caleb, but expectations aren't always reality. I mean, none of the items relating to Caleb mentions anything about Mary caring for him, and Old Man Edwards even talks about how Mary seemingly neglected all of her kids. Of course, it'd extend to Caleb.

Another thing is that “the Evil One” is referenced throughout the story. This is a title of, obviously, the devil. Considering that throughout Wick, there are implications of another supernatural entity, likely a demon, haunting the Weaver family before their deaths... yeah, this is just more evidence.

And now we come to the son's... very fucked up death. This reminds me of how it's sometimes theorized that before being buried alive, Caleb had been struck in the head by the shovel. Like, the “DIG THIS!” achievement's picture shows Caleb being hit with, you guessed it, a shovel. If you look closely at Caleb's model's face, he looks to have some scarring on his face.

Another thing about this scene is the son saying “Mother, how angry you look. Yes, give me an apple.” almost feels... defiant in a way? Even if he's always afraid, he still fights back in his own way. This could be how Caleb was as well.

We now have a name for the daughter: Marlene. Or well, in the original English translation, it's Marlinchen, but I'll still use Marlene for simplicity.

This part of the story possibly gives insight into the aftermath of Caleb's disappearance/death. Caleb was likely not fully buried but still died, which left Lillian (who is obviously in the place of Marlene, she is the only daughter after all) to find the body. Being younger, and also the closest to Caleb via the version of the fairytale in the Journal, was devastated.

And then comes the... really fucked up part.

I don't have much to discuss for this, since this part was seemingly removed in the Journal's version. But seriously, this is actually messed up. The dad, largely absent until now, unknowingly EATS HIS OWN SON. The absence of the dad certainly fits with John being absent during the war.

First off is Marlene gathering her brother's bones and tying them up in her (best) scarf before lying them beneath the juniper tree. Like the stepmom killing the son, this matches up with the Journal's version of the fairytale. Lillian likely reburied Caleb, but while Mary was malevolent in burying him alive, Lillian put thought and care into burying Caleb's body as seen in the rags he's wearing in-game. (Another thing is the “crying tears of blood” which makes me think of Lillian's design in No Way Out.)

Second off is the firey entrance of a bird (specified to be a crow in the Journal's version). Fire obviously reminds us of Mary's death, which we will get to later. The bird, if it isn't obvious enough, is the son reborn, and sings atop a goldsmith's house his sad tale. This brings us back to the start of our journey, the Journal's version of this line of dialogue.

I'll skip some of this, but in short, the bird goes to three locations. A goldsmith, a shoemaker, and a mill. Each time, he sings his tale to the people there, who want him to sing it just once again. He's defiant, telling them he'll only do it if they give him something in return.

The goldsmith gives him a golden chain, the shoemaker gives him a pair of red shoes, and the mill workers give him a millstone. The first two are easy, but what in the world is a millstone? Well, it's a stone used for grinding grain and apparently corn. We'll see what it's used for in a short bit.

The bird returns to his father's house! As shown, the dad is happy while the stepmom and Marlene are upset (for different reasons). After this, the bird sets himself on the juniper tree and sings his tale again.

Of course, the stepmom is practically losing it due to the presence of the bird and his singing, but the dad thinks otherwise. He decides to go out and see the bird despite his wife's anxiety.

Quite an interesting line, considering Mary's fate.

Once the bird finishes, he drops the golden chain as a gift to his dad. In response, the dad goes back inside and despite his pleasant encounter, the stepmom is terrified to the point of falling onto the floor. Holy shit. Anyway, the bird sings once more.

Marlene decides that she'll go out and see if the bird will give her something as well. And as the bird finishes, he drops the pair of red shoes down to her as a gift. Marlene became content and happy, putting on the new shoes and going back into the house.

In response, the stepmom...

The stepmom goes out to see if she'll be given something as well. Technically, it did happen. The bird dropped the millstone onto her, instantly killing her. We're back to Mary's death. And even after this, everything related to fire rises, and from that appears the son, no longer a bird, stew, or a corpse.

I don't think this is a “Caleb set the fire” type of thing. There's more evidence for the twins and the pastor anyway. What I do think this could lead us to is that Caleb at least saw it as a ghost.

Besides that, the line of the dad, son, and Marlene happily going inside and eating is the ending to The Juniper Tree. Which marks my ending to this post!

Thank you for reading my (probably over) analysis of the fairytale concerning Wick's lore. What do you guys think? Do you have any other thoughts about how the story could connect with Wick's lore?

[writingrenna]

Brassius x GN!Reader

"A Wandering Mind"

The reader is VERY awkward and is afraid of Brassius rejecting their attempts at getting closer to him. Watch as they catastrophize basic interactions and almost reject themselves!

Reader is gender neutral and a HUGE softie for Brassius. Also, no language will hint at your appearance, the closest being the mention/hinting at that you're an adult.

No mention of what your Pokémon is/are, but you have at least one. Could be a whole team, though!

Tone/Ending: Slight Angst, Wholesome, Open-ended (Brassius is already fond of you, and you two finally talk as friends instead of just fellow fans of Pokémon and the art world. Reader has B A G G A G E relating to not fitting in with the norm/people finding them weird, and Brassius is slightly more vulnerable than usual. Can be seen as platonic or the start of romance)

Warnings: None other than a very socially awkward reader who seems to flip-flop on their confidence in themselves. Also, first fanfic in, like, YEARS, so this is more to warm myself up some #brassiushasmeinachokehold

Words: Somewhere around 6,000

-*-

You watch from afar as the man wildly paces in front of the Artazon Gym. You were thoroughly acquainted with the spiky-haired sculptor, having beaten his gym a while ago, but you still occasionally checked back in to view his latest pieces.

Truth be told, his art fascinated you. Sure, it was very... as he'd put it before, "avant-garde," but it really did tickle your brain in a way you couldn't quite put your finger on. You had always wondered what went through his mind whenever inspiration struck, but apparently, right now, it was a lot.

You took a deep breath before finally taking a few steps forward, wishing to calm the man down and lessen the burden of, well, whatever he was fighting himself on at the moment. You couldn't help but consider that maybe this was just a part of the process. But then again, he seemed truly stumped, even adding a stray hand gesture toward the sky from time to time as he vaguely mouthed something. Was he mumbling? Was he trying to sort something important out? Was he almost done with this "ritual" of sorts? Oh Gods, what if you ended up ruining his flow? You didn't want to be the reason he fell into another depression.

You try to turn back when suddenly, you hear your name called. Freezing in place, you turn back to see him. He was still in the same position he was when you started to make your leave, as if he'd stopped in his tracks, but his head was tilted towards you, an unmistakable smile plastered on his face. You even saw a bit of teeth in that grin.

"Oh! Afternoon, Brassius! I... uh, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, I was just checking back in on the local art scene... y'know..."

You make an awkward hand movement similar to jazz hands that doesn't actually convey anything discernable. Brassius, however, seems to fully understand, sitting up straight(er) and turning his entire body as he strode over to fully greet you.

"Ah, yes, another one of your art tours! I do look forward to these, I appreciate someone who wishes to fully feel the art they're consuming."

You made a small "ah-" noise, caught off guard by his casual confession. He looked forward to seeing you? Like, specifically you?? He didn't seem nervous at all saying it, so you decided to lock that thought away.

"Yeah! I do, um, like, doing that? Um-"

You looked towards the ground, realizing you were too distracted to properly take in and respond to what he said. You really analyzed every little thing this man did, didn't you?

"I-I'm sorry, sir. My mind has been all over the place today."

His smile faltered and fell for a split second. So fast, you didn't even notice as you looked back up at him. But a softer smile replaced his previous beam. He placed his right hand under his chin in deep thought, fidgeting with the whip on his side with the other, something he seemed to do a lot.

"Ah, do not apologize for a racing mind! It was not meant to be restrained. We're all searching for meaning in this big, mysterious world of ours, whether it is through discovery, creativity, or even simply sorting through feelings from within."

Your face felt a wave of warmth as you took in his words. You couldn't help but notice, again, that he seemed... softer? In his word choice there? You'd almost say he got that from Hassel, although you know this is something he personally deals with. Either way, you appreciated his comforting pearl of wisdom.

"Thanks, Brassius." you started, beaming back at him. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

-*-

You sat up the next morning, bleary-eyed and confused. 'What will today have to offer me?' You wondered to yourself as you stretched with a yawn, feeling your whole body shake a little from the unexpected intensity.

"Woah, Ok," you muttered to yourself, suddenly wide-eyed. You were certainly awake now.

After getting ready for the day, you decided to head out. But where? You were taking things slow during the Treasure Hunt. Something told you that letting the kids of the academy have their time in the spotlight would be nice. Plus, you really weren't sure what your treasure would even be. You hadn't really had a set dream even when applying for the academy the previous summer, and you still didn't have an idea of what to do once the fall semester started and you were already accepted.

But enough of those thoughts, this is a good chance to walk around, let your mind wander. Wherever your heart took you, you'd go, allowing it to take the lead.

-*-

"Ah." You said, looking up at the giant windmill of Artazon in the distance. Of course. 'At this point, it's probably just because it's so close by comparison.' You assume.

You walked forward, glancing around at your surroundings. You see a man ordering toppings at Deli Cioso, an older couple walking along the pathway in the upper part of town, and a little girl staring up at one of the Surrendering Sunflora statues at the entrance with her companion, a Shroomish, but other than that...

You sigh.

Wait, what were you expecting to see...? Ah well, better keep wandering.

As you walked around, you heard hushed whispers. You couldn't help but wonder if it's gossip. Brassius did seem rather preoccupied yesterday. Perhaps he's in the throughs of inspiration? Like, 'Stay up until 3am and wake up at 6 am' type of inspiration? The type that keeps you going no matter what nature or Dialga has to say about it? Yeah. You couldn't help but shake your head at the thought, although an amused smirk crept onto your face as you did so.

You jogged up the stairs again. Mindlessly wandering around Artazon certainly didn't give you career ideas, but it did work up an appetite. You started to make your way over to the Artisan Bakery, craving a jam and cream cheese sandwhich for you and your Pokémon. As you briskly sprinted across town, however, you heard a yelp. This caused you to flinch mid-stride as you stood on the stairs, head whipping around to see what you did wrong.

"Oh no, I'm sorry! L-lemme help you!"

You had awkwardly turned around several times at this point before spotting a man on a bench, who had been staring wide-eyed in your direction. It was him. Your panic was gradually replaced with confusion, however, as he seemed mortified by your presence, even though you didn't do anything... you think? You squinted and tilted your head at him.

"...Brassius?"

His eyes remained wide, breathing still catching up with him, but his posture loosened up quite a bit all at once. His eyelids drooped again as he seemed to gather the courage to speak up, although he dared not make eye contact.

"Ah, I... do apologize, I simply... well, in truth, I truly was not expecting to see you again so soon..."

His eyes were focused on the ground now, shyly looking away. It was then that you realized he was clutching a sketchbook close to his stomach. Oh?? That's certainly interesting, especially since he seemed... so...

Oh, Gods. Would he rather you not be here??

"Oh, I'm sorry! Really, I am! I didn't realize you- I mean, you seem to- I-I'll get out of your hair if-"

"No, no, you are fine, I was ju-"

Suddenly, he grimaced, clutching his stomach. You held your hands up to your ears, yelling in sheer panic, wondering if you had somehow caused this.

"OH! OH NO!! WHAT DID I DO?!? "

"No- nothing, nothing! I- I forgot to eat breakfast this morning," he groaned. "That is all. Do not fret over me. This happens a lot."

You suddenly calmed down, hands slowly lowering before floping down, awkwardly hanging by your sides after momentarily swinging.

"...oh..."

The two of you stared at each other for a good three seconds before you suddenly remembered: 'Oh, hey! I'm hungry, too!'

"Oh, hey! I'm hungry, too!" You said, suddenly beaming as if you didn't just condemn yourself to the 'he hates me and never wants to see me again' zone. Before he could respond, you started back on your journey to Artisan Bakery, but not before asking him to stay put.

"Oh yeah, don't move! I'll be back, I just gotta get some ingredients!"

"But-"

And just like that, you headed off.

-*-

You jogged back to the bench. To your (only mild) surprise, Brassius was still there, although he seemed to angrily mutter a bit to himself, teeth clenched, madly sketching something in his book, which was only cracked open. You wondered what secrets or plans he was guarding, but decided it wasn't your place to ask. Instead, you proudly whipped your backpack to your front, opening it as you walked towards him. He suddenly looked up, scowl upturned the instant he made eye contact.

"Ah! You have returned!"

He snapped his book shut as he said this, face looking oddly neutral, with an undercurrent of enthusiasm.

"Yep! Sorry about the wait. I got a LOT of stuff, cause uhhh, I realized I don't know what it is you... like, actually? So uhh, come with me! We can have a picnic!"

His mind seemed to suddenly go blank, staring at you with a peculiar expression you couldn't quite place. It was certainly a look you hadn't seen from him in quite a while, although you were only really sorta-friends.

"A... a what?? "

"A picnic! Y'know, a taste of that Paldean culture?" You made another weird hand gesture, continuing to make more as you explained your reasoning. "Spreading your stuff out, relaxing outdoors, letting your Pokémon roam free? That way, we can make whatever we like without worrying about getting in anyone's way!"

His face has barely wavered at this point, perhaps the corner of his mouth twitching a little as his gaze quickly darts away and back.

"Plus, you could use a break." You nodded as you said the next bit. "I can tell."

You stared right back at him, awaiting his answer. He seemed... bewildered by your sudden word-avalanche, eyes lightly darting around your face. You could almost see a light dusting of pink on his cheeks as he glanced between you, the ground, and the sketchbook in his lap. Suddenly, a guilty panic settled into your chest.

"Uh- only if you wanna come! Of course? It's really up to you, you know. I don't wanna disturb you or your work or anything."

The look in his eyes finally faded as he loosened the tension he didn't even feel in his limbs. He sighed, worrying you, until suddenly-

"Of course I would." He stands up with a small grunt. "Who am I to turn down such a kind and spontaneous offer?"

He smiles warmly at you, causing your stomach to flip.

"Hahhhhhhhhhhhh, Ok! Let's, um, go to... uhhhhhh..."

You had pressed your hands together as if praying, resting your chin on the tips of your middle and ring fingers as you not-so silently thought to yourself, although Brassius felt the need to butt-in.

"I know just the spot, my hierochloe."

-*-

Of course Brassius would know of a quiet little field to sit in. You had set up a simple picnic, no table, not wanting to take up too much of his time despite deeply enjoying his presence. He was sitting, eyes wandering around at the scenery and his Pokémon interacting with your own as you shuffled around on your knees. His eyes would occasionally come to a rest on you before briskly looking around at everything that caught his eye again. You had just laid the ingredients out in front of him, letting him take his pick. You had even splurged with your league points, getting stuff from Deli Cioso and Sure Cans, thus giving him more variety, although you wouldn't admit to doing that.

"Whatever you want, I'll make! No matter the combo!"

Brassius glanced up at you for a moment before looking back down. He decided to go for a cheese sandwhich, but with the kick of jalapeños, pointing to every ingredient without a word.

"Huh. Neat! Ok, I'll make it for ya, just gimme a sec, Ok?"

You were looking at him through an 'Ok' hand, one eye closed to make it easier. He seemed mildly amused by this, a light chuckle emanating from him, although he then proceeded to abruptly stop himself and turn away. You were slightly disappointed, but you went off to do your thing.

It had been about a minute or so of an oddly comfortable silence, but then-

"TA-DAAAAA!"

He turned his head, although his body stayed facing away. He looked at the sandwhich he was presented with, eyes widening with delight.

"Oh my, you! You have an eye for design!"

"Huh?"

You tilted your head back slightly as he took the sandwich, staring at it with glee.

"Yes, the way you arranged everything, this precise cut, the pick choice!"

He pointed at the green pick you skewered through one half of the sandwhich, specifically chosen for him, although again, you wouldn't admit to that.

"Yes, everything came together to form a beautifully cohesive work of culinary art. I even dare say, I feel almost guilty knowing I will have to devour it!"

You were smiling uncontrollably, but you didn't realize it. It just came so naturally, hearing him gush about the artistic vision you had while laying jalapeños on top of cheese and avocado. He sees the beauty in everything, it seems. You can't help but idly wonder how he views you...

-*-

It was nighttime in Artazon. The lights of the town illuminated the area in a way that really made you wish you came here after dark more often, or perhaps even stayed here for a bit? Either way, the idea of heading back to the academy seemed to quickly fade from your mind. You wandered around, enjoying the serene sounds of nature all around you, when suddenly-

"No, no, NO! This simply will not do!"

You turned. You can hear a commotion near the pool from here, which is where you caught a glimpse of the man that seems to plague your mind.

Curiosity struck, and you found yourself quietly approaching the situation. You paused when you were able to hear an exasperated sigh.

"This color. It does not even BEGIN to match the hue of their uniform..."

Hold up. Uniform?

"Nooooo... AHHHHHHH! "

He practically fell to his knees in anguish as he crouched next to the pool. He seemed to be in deep thought for a few seconds when suddenly, an idea struck.

"Oh, I know! I shall choose a color that captures a feeling instead! Yes, yes, I must write down how I feel..."

He shuffled over to his stuff, holding his sketchbook and scribbling down some notes while muttering to himself. You noted his voice seemed to waver at that last part. How he feels? About what? And why was a uniform so important to this piece?

You snuck closer, this time being unashamed in your interest, when suddenly-

"UHP-"

You didn't notice the incline leading to the pool was right there, too focused on seeing if he noticed you. You slipped down. It wasn't a terribly tall slope, but the top was probably around your height. Plus, falling on concrete? You lied there on the ground for a few moments, trying to figure out what went wrong when you hear your name called out.

"M-my goodness! That was quite a tumble, y-your form was simply dreadful! Are you feeling alright? Was your vision something more graceful?"

You rolled over onto your side, looking up at his worried face. He truly did look panicked.

"Yeah! Yeah, I-I'm fine..."

You stared up at him. His eyes somehow managed to widen even more as his frown softened. You let yourself roll back over onto your face, a small muffled laugh sounding out.

"Sorry for scaring you like that, sir. I was just wondering what you were up to, no crazy feats were attempted by me, no siree!"

"Oh..." He said, voice sounding oddly dejected, although you weren't able to see the face he made. "If you wished to get a look at my creative process, you really could have asked me. You know I love sharing the world of art with you."

That line made your stomach flutter. 'You're in too deep...' A small part of you said. But another part of you thought 'screw it! Let those Vivillon fly free!'

"Uh, actually, that'd be really nice." You abruptly said, finally rolling over again. So abrupt, actually, that you didn't even register what actually came out of your mouth until the silence kicked in. He was staring down at you, mouth turned up in a weird sorta half-smile and eyes showing a... fear?

You were mortified, lying on the ground, having taken an offer that may have been extended out of pity. There go those insecurities again...

"Well, actually, never mind, I kinda... um, I uh, I gotta..."

You quickly looked away, not wanting him to see your eyes well up with tears. The silence was getting to you. He was always oddly quiet around you. It seemed like he just went through the motions of your visits. So, in a panic, you got up and ran off down the path, ignoring his confused calls of your name.

-*-

It had been a few weeks since you last visited Artazon. You've heard through the grepavine that Brassius has been acting... stranger than normal. As much as you tried to avoid thinking about him, you couldn't help but wonder why. Was this a normal 'working on an intense project' strange or 'my personal life is imploding on me please send help' type of behavior? Truthfully, you kind of wanted to head over there and ask around to see if anyone knows why. After all, he is your sorta-friend. You wanna be there for him despite the pain of rejection. So, you got out of bed, gave yourself a... series of pep-talks, and headed out to Artazon.

-*-

One flight later, there was an immediately tense feeling in the air. It was hard to describe, but you could tell the vibes were off. Everyone was going about their days as normal, but something just felt... weird. You reluctantly made your way over to the Artazon Gym, where he seemed to be pacing yet again. This time, however, he didn't seem to be preoccupied with thoughts of art. Instead, he seemed contemplative, almost crestfallen as he half-heartedly walked up and down the front of the building. You freeze, not wanting to get any closer for some reason.

You hear him muttering angrily to himself, something you, again, noticed he does sometimes. But this time, it was more resentful than frustrated.

"...no, no, this... this will not do..." He said quietly. He made a frustrated grunting noise as he stomped once, fists clenched as he shook lightly.

"...this won't do at all..." He roughly lamented in a shakey sing-songy voice. Through gritted teeth, shaking his head while facing the ground, he roughly threw his arms down to his sides, his frame never ceasing to tremble.

His eyes... you were kind of afraid of what tale they'd tell right now. What has he gone through these past few... however long it took to get to this point? You looked around, wondering if anyone else was seeing his breakdown, but nobody seemed very bothered.

'Who the heck keeps gossiping if nobody's paying attention? Why didn't they get him help?' You thought to yourself before turning back towards him.

When you looked over, he was gone.

-*-

"BRAAAAASSIUUUUUS! HEY, BRASSIUS? WHERE ARE YOU!?"

You didn't want to resort to yelling, but he was nowhere to be found even 20 minutes later. He was... surprisingly nimble considering his fluctuating health, but then again, he made a grand entrance from atop a windmill every time he held a gym battle, so...

You walked through the gates of Sunflora Lawn yet again. Nope, nowhere in or around there either. What would compel him to just bolt like this? And where to?? There were three areas surrounding Artazon that had grassy terrain, although you weren't sure he'd go for any of them. This honestly reminded you of your gym test, if said gym test was to find a singular angry Bramblin instead of 10 Sunflora.

The breeze was light and warm, complimenting the beautiful sunshine that shone brightly, yet not too hot. It was such an amazing day out, yet frustration was all you could really feel. You debated just storming upstairs inside the gym building to see if he simply went home when you heard a small, shuddering wail.

You weren't sure what it was at first, stopping in your tracks at the noise. You stood there for a second, waiting to hear it again when someone jogged out of the Artazon Gym doors.

"Oh!" She paused at the sight of you before whispering something under her breath and changing her path to come to you. "Hey there!"

She seemed relieved to see you.

"Um, h-hi??"

You broadly waved as she jogged over to you. You could now recognize her as the lady that usually tended to the Sunflora Lawn. You thought it was weird that nobody was there.

"You! You have no idea how glad I am to see you!" She smiled, the largest grin you'd even seen (on someone that isn't Brassius) on her face. "Brassius, that poor guy, he could definitely use your reassurance right now.

You stared at her, wondering what she meant.

"Rea... surr...ance??"

You blinked twice. It was at this point that you heard another odd, strangled sob. Was it coming from behind the gym itself??

"You hear him? He's been inconsolable the past few days, saying 'his inspiration has left him'. I think it has to do with you, trainer."

You jump back in shock, hands up defensively.

"ME? WHAT DID I DO?? "

She waved her hands slightly, an indication that it isn't like that at all. You listen.

"Hey, no, don't panic! You yourself didn't do anything, it's just that... well, the man has grown attached to you."

Your eyes widen. She continues.

"When you didn't come back around for your usual art tours, he... well... he lost all motivation to work on his current project, and he doesn't know what to do next."

You immediately felt a rush of guilt course through you. You... caused this?

"I... I'm sorry!" You cried. "I didn't mean to hurt him! I-I thought he didn't want me around anymore! Nobody ever wants me around!"

At this point, tears were threatening to spill from your eyes. She looked on at you, feeling sorry for you.

"Aww..." She walks over to console you. "I doubt that's really the case. I can't help but feel the relaxed aura you emit whenever you come by. You have a very welcoming presence, you know!"

You looked up, wiping tears from your eyes.

"Y... huh??"

"Yeah," she responded in a soft tone. "He very much notices that too. That's why he likes going deeper into his works with you." She looks away. "Well, part of why."

"Huh?"

You were fully invested in the conversation now. She came closer.

"Do you mind if I lean in? I need to tell you something that's kind of a secret between him and the staff."

You panicked, wondering if something would happen to her if she told you.

"Oh! Uhhh, th-th-that's OK, ma'am! I don't need to, um, know his secrets or anything..."

You looked down at the ground, nervous due to rejecting her. You really did just want to make sure he was OK. She smiled.

"Ah, that's quite alright. It may be best if you simply talked to him, though. Want me to show you where he is?"

-*-

It was truly a sight to behold. The man was behind the gym, sitting high up on a tree branch as he held on tight to the trunk of it, bawling loudly as if he had lost a loved one. He didn't notice you, too consumed with misery to notice either of you. The Sunflora Lawn attendant leaned in slightly.

"Best of luck! You've got a nack for calming him down."

Wait, what?

You turned, but she was already gone.

The people of Artazon sure do know how to make a wild entrance... and breezy exit.

This was sort of a big ask. You had no idea how to calm someone down, much less someone as... eccentric as Brassius. But, seeing as though this was technically your fault (at least in your mind), you decided to walk over. You tried to catch a glimpse of his face, but it was squished into the tree, as if he thought applying more pressure to himself would ease the pain.

You winced slightly. You wondered if his calloused hands helped the situation at all.

"Ok, Brassius?"

A sob was hitched in his throat.

"T-take a deep breath! Everything will be OK!"

You really had no idea what to say. Most of your friends were online, and you weren't much for watching overly-serious entertainment outside of shows with lore and angst. That being said, you tried to be there for him, imagining what you'd like to be told in this situation.

"Um... OK! So uh, I don't know what it is you're looking for! Truth be told, I'm... also... lost right now. BUT, I think if we talk things out, it may help? Get your feelings out there? O-only if you want. And, um..."

You looked down.

"I'm... sorry. For avoiding you like that."

You continue to look down, closing your eyes, not really expecting a response. You, however, wanted to wait a bit, instead of running off like last time.

The silence was oddly calm. The sense of dread you expected to feel was more like a grey veil than a tumultuous mess. He had even stopped his moans and cries when he first noticed your presence, but you weren't sure if it were a good or bad thing. Still, though, you decided to let fate seal the deal. Whatever he wanted, you'd do.

It took a few- Ok, quite a few moments, but eventually, you heard the rustling of leaves and the sound of someone landing nearby. You then heard some quiet footsteps make their way toward you, a gentle hand now resting on your shoulder. His voice was less shaky, but quiet, almost breaking into sound when he first hesitantly spoke up.

"Come with me, then, young trainer."

-*-

You made your way into his art studio, silently walking behind the man. He hadn't said anything this entire walk. However, he seemed... determined? You were always bad with words, but something intense was about to be said, you could feel it.

He opened the double doors that lead inside, and what you saw... both surprised you and didn't surprise you at all at the same time.

The room was very bright, with plants crawling up and down the pillars and walls. There were even plants on the ceilings, a feat you may need to ask him about later (if you were still on speaking terms by the end of this conversation, that is).

The room was as organized as one could get it when it came to his greenery, but his art stuff was, well, not, to put it lightly. Paint, clay, rock, you name it, it was probably splattered or crushed somewhere. Papers and plans galore were scattered across the floor and hanging on any surface he could find. You even spotted shattered glass and sand on the ground near the sinks...?? The only clear spaces were the mezzanine platforms. Was this a repurposed warehouse?

You saw a few small rooms in the back, one being a small bathroom, one being storage of some kind, but the other you couldn't quite tell, although you can make out the fact that there are markings carved into all of them. The exit door in the back lead to an attached greenhouse. It was bright in there, natural light coming in droves, but all you could see were giant shadows of the plants looming within. 'Wow.' Was all you could muster while taking in the sight.

You didn't even realize you were staring in awe until you heard your name called, snapping you out of it.

"Please, come. Sit over here."

He had cleared off a dusty yet otherwise clean looking couch. You hadn't even noticed the small seating area near one of the front windows. The couch, the recliner, and the table all situated in such a way that someone could comfortably watch from the corner as Brassius worked on his masterpieces, and then chat with him face-to-face across the table during his breaks. You couldn't help but imagine Hassel sitting there with tea, partaking in light conversation as he watched his dear friend work during his down time from the academy and league duties.

You sat on the couch and nodded at him, who returned the gesture before making his way to the chair. Why you nodded, you're not sure. Maybe you're trying to reassure both yourself and him that everything would be alright?

He sighed as he sat down. You couldn't help but take in how long his legs are when he did.

He spoke in a very lowered voice, something you quickly took note of. You wished your mind would stop overanalyzing everything, maybe it was to compensate for how little you understand people?

"Well then. I suppose it is time we cleared the air." His voice was somewhat dark as he spoke, as opposed to the cordial yet animated tone he usually had. This frightened you, but you carried on.

"Y-yes, I suppose so..." You roughly jammed your pointer fingers together as you glanced to the side, not wanting to make eye contact as you spoke. When you looked up, however, you saw that he was looking rather intensely at you, although there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Indeed." He started. He looked at you to gage your reaction, which seemed very apprehensive. As he expected, really.

"I am glad you returned, I really do miss your visits."

"Oh yeah? Heh, well I, um, s-sorry..." You hung your head again.

"Nonsense!" He leaned in slightly before catching himself, leaning back again and clearing his throat.

"Now, what sort of person would I be if I held everything against you?" A hint of his usual flair was back, although you could tell he was trying to reel it back in.

"But... you should??"

"Why?"

"Because I s-suck?"

A silence fell over the room.

"You..."

He wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he simply moved on with a huff.

"You agreed to my proposition that night, but then you ran off and ceased all visits to Artazon for over a month" he started, eyes closed tightly, gripping the armrests on his chair as if to channel his negative emotions. "Why?"

You... truly didn't know how to answer that.

"Well, I uh, had something to do."

"For 5 weeks?"

"Um- yes."

He knew you were lying, but he didn't push it. He has frequent, often longer projects, too, after all.

"Alright. Well, why don't we reschedule, then?"

"Erm-"

You didn't expect him to try and arrange something else.

"Sure?? I- I mean, we can certainly do that."

You grinned, although it looked strained. He stared at you for a few seconds. His mouth seemed to twitch slightly, as if suppressing a grin of his own, but he continued, letting it fade on its own.

"Avant-garde! We will certainly make time to schedule it after our little catch-up."

He looked at you from the bottoms of his eyes. You sunk into the couch a little.

"Yeah! Yeah, we, um-"

He decided to interrupt your odd ramble this time.

"You seem so unsure of yourself. Is there a reason why, dear trainer?"

Ok, now you really felt trapped. Your mind raced a thousand miles per second, yet it came up blank at the same time. What could you say as an answer here?

"I... don't know." You say truthfully, eyes wide and sitting up to stare at him.

He stares back, although he looked like he was thinking hard about what he was going to say next. He sat up some, leaning in before beginning.

"...you fascinate me to no end, you know that?" He said, eyes intense and boring right through you. "You are certainly one of the stranger trainers I have dealt with. It is quite... beautiful, watching you navigate the world. You surprise me every time you visit, doing things I would least expect, yet make sense in the context of you! I have always wanted to get to know you better."

Your face heated up again, although he simply continued.

"I actually had something I wanted to show you, but sadly, my artistic vision has... ceased being clear to me. I have not been able to work on it for a while as a result. Mind if I bring some ideas out? Perhaps I could learn more about you now."

You were shaking. You wanted to say yes, but you didn't want to seem too eager. So, you thought of a compromise.

"Y-yerm..."

There's a difference between an idea and actually executing it correctly.

His face contorted into one of sheer confusion.

"Yerm??"

"Sorry, I, uh, got nervous and didn't wanna say 'yeah' too hard, so uhhh..."

You trailed off. His gaze was transfixed on you.

"Uh-huh." He clapped the awkward tension away as he continued. "Let us commence, then! Sit tight, I shall bring my sketches and prototypes out."

He got up, placing his sketchbook on the table before going over to a table with some clay figurines. They were obvious works-in-progress, but they still looked very interesting. In fact, you'd gladly take them off his hands once he was done with them.

"I use these as prototypes before working on projects like this" He said with a smile. "I want to capture a certain feeling, but in a less spontaneous way. I was..."

He looks away, a far more obvious, yet still light blush gracing his cheeks.

"...I was inspired by you. I wished to capture your essence in a piece of art, but I... can't possibly emulate you in just one piece. I keep getting overwhelmed by all the ways you..."

He trails off when he sees your face. You seem slightly flustered, having sunken into the couch, staring with a very peculiar expression that screams 'OH MY GODS'. He doesn't continue his sentence, instead starting a new one.

"Oh heavens, I must apologize for overwhelming you, I know this is quite a lot all at once..."

He slowly lowers the tray, a dejected look on his face. You scramble to fix this.

"NONONOWAIT!" You wildly wave your hands around to reassure him, although you weren't sure what to actually say.

"I-I'm flattered, actually! I'd, um, be honored to, er, help... and inspire you... 're pro...ject??"

You grin and tilt your head, arms locked in a perpetual shrug. Brassius simply stares back at you.

The silence is dread-inducing, wondering how he'd respond, when...

He grins.

It's sort of ardent, in a way.

'Ardent-garde', you think, momentarily ruining the moment in your mind.

"Why, it is I who feels honored. Very rarely do I meet a soul as bewitching as yours to truly appreciate!"

You smile. For the first time in a while, your heart feels at peace. Is this that real-life connection you've been searching for? That, dare you say, treasure?

"W-well then!" You squawk. "Where do we begin, maestro?"

A/N

OK!! SO! Originally, this was just going to be a story about your presence calming Brassius' constantly tumultuous mind and him making art based on you. But after I started writing your expy as "The MOST Confusing Human in Paldea (TM)," I decided it'd apply to both you AND him! Pretty fun, huh? Like, you ground him and snap him back to reality even when he's in his zone, and he causes you to take a moment to breathe and be self-aware of your catastrophic thinking.

I had more I wanted to write here, but I can't think straight (I finished this after a W I L D trip, so I'm super duper drowsy). Just know this was more of a practice run because THIS MAN RIGHT HERE MADE ME WANNA WRITE AND POST FANFIC AGAIN. Have some food! It's more of an appetizer. I promise to get better, I'm just so used to writing my own characters so sorry if it's lackluster/OOC/everywhere. I have a bunch of Brassius stories planned (he will regain his usual batshit energy in those once he gets used to you being a permanent part of his life, although he will always have a soft spot for you), as well as a few Hassel, Clavell, and Larry, cause old/middle-aged men make me weak apparently. Next will be Hassel, so stay tuned! Hopefully I get in the flow more next time.

(ALSO I HAD TO EDIT THIS ON MY PHONE SO SORRY IF IT'S A FORMATTING MESS OK???)

[igotanidea]

Workout : Dick Grayson x OC

this one's for @deadpoolgirl23 :)

Third person POV

Hal Jordan didn’t need a sidekick.

Despite the fact that every other member of the League of Justice (which he founded) got one, he was convinced he was better on his own.  Robin, Wonder girl, Aqualad and other teenagers  seemed like a liability to him. No such menace for Green Lantern. Not ever.

Too bad that one day, a 13 year old sneaky daughter of one of his pilot coworkers came across that crazy-shit space ship of his and got hit (like literally hit) by the wave of green energy. Now, Hal had no choice but to take care of her. At the beginning he hated every minute of such attention given to the girl, but after a couple of months and some space adventures it started to work.

Mostly because of the fact that they were both sarcastic, a bit arrogant individuals who respected each other space but also learnt how to work as a team. She was not a sidekick, more like a companion (in her words) or a tag along (in his description). None of them would say it out loud, but given all the hero-teenager relationship in League of Justice, theirs were the closest to actual friendship. A bit rough at the edges, snarky, teasing and challenging, but still friendship. She was also dead set on getting a bit more creative name then other teenagers involved in hero stuff, so instead of calling herself Green Girl of Kid Lantern she was appointed the name Flux. It fit her just right.

Of course after a while she get to meet Robin. They clicked almost instantly, forming some sort of bond that could not be named with one word. Together they came up with the idea of creating a team of their own. Titans. Living and working and training together only brought them closer. It was pretty obvious to everyone they were deeply in love with each other, but their complicated characters made it challenging to really be together. They were always there for each other, ready to jump into danger to protect the other one, but at the same time they were scared. Scared of being open with their feelings, emotions, vulnerable…. How long can a relationship like that last? It was constant pulling and pushing, wanting to be together but not fully capable of it. It all ended up with one final push they could not recover from. And then she was called by Hal to attend some important mission and had to leave. When she came back Dick was already in the relationship with Dawn. It hurt like hell but she just shrugged it off with some ironic comments and moved on. A year  later Dick fucked up another relationship, run away for some reasons he never explained. But she knew. He was worried he was becoming too much like Batman, and to be honest it was true. So he escaped. It was quiet for four freaking years, until he met Rachel and the first person he called for help was Flux. Given her mental abilities it was the only choice, but meeting him again after all this time was …. weird and moved something inside her. And perhaps in him too, judging by the way he was looking at her and her every move. Due to some unexpected circumstances, including Deathstroke coming back from death the old team of Titans were back in the Tower. Back to living, working and training together. Flux was staying there for a while now, taking care of the kids, especially Gar, who quickly became her best friend and practically begged her to stay. How could she refuse? Of course it was only because of Gar, Rachel and Jason, but the old flame slowly started to come into surface again…..

Flux POV

Deathstroke was back. Apparently stronger than ever before. And therefore we needed some intense workout to get even the slightest chance of standing against him. Despite Donna’s objections of doing it again I stood by the point of view it was our job to do. So at the moment I was in the training room, putting all of my abilities to the string of tests. It’s been a while since I used all of my powers and it was such a freeing experience reminding myself who I was deep inside. Flux. Powerful, skillful, independent and unstoppable. Strong and confident. And watchful. Throwing and controlling my own green light I did not miss some steps sneaking behind me and before I was attacked I spun blocking two escrima sticks aimed at my back.

“Really, Robin?” I smirked “that was a bit unfair. Not that I couldn’t take it, but seriously where is your honor?” I took a step back eyeing him carefully.

“Hidden deep inside. And definitely lost during battle.”

“You call that a battle?”

“Just wanted to give you easy treatment.”

“Really?” I laughed “it’s truly been a while since you fought me. Maybe you forgot how to do this…..” I teased

“Wanna give it a try, flux?”

“Show me what you got Robin” I raised my hands ready for whatever attack he had in store.

And he came running at me with his sticks in hand, doing all those unnecessary flips and turns and twists.

“Show-off!” I called him, knowing well enough it would make him angrier and try better and harder “come on, Robin!” I was just spinning and sliding avoiding all his attempts to reach me without any effort. “I have nothing to work against!” with a blink I was on the other side of the room and his face was now full of rage.

“You were always the one to avoid the fight and use tricks instead of truly participating in it!” he run at me but once again I wriggled and ducked and he missed

“Just saving the energy, you know. I’m not a fan of those useless gestures of yours….”

“You used to love some of my gestures….” He trailed stopping for a second and throwing his sticks down. A sudden flash of memories caught me off-guard as my eyes widened and I froze in place. Not for long though since I was only able to open my mouth trying to form some snarky comebacks and a second later I was pressed into the wall, Dick’s lips on mine, claiming me with all the rage and anger he gathered during the fight. I should have pushed him away, I shouldn’t have wanted this. This was toxic before and nothing has changed. I was supposed to stop it, but shit if I did not miss his touch, his hands on my waist gently caressing all the exposed skin he could find and the way he was keeping me trapped between the wall and his body. My hands found their way alongside his arms up to his shoulders and neck pulling him even closer and closer and closer. Closer than it was physically possible and it made him groan under my touch. I was pathetic and he was a sneaky bastard for catching me off guard this way. But he was also desperate in the way his lips trailed down towards my neck and collarbone, going down and down….

“Dick? YN? Are you down there?”

Fuck. Gar may have been my best friend but his voice and interruption of this moment could be the cause of his extremely painful death. Dick did not seem to bother however as he was still pressing me against the wall, sucking and licking on my skin, sending shivers down my whole body and making me blush like crazy.

“Let go of me, Robin.” I whispered but once again it came out as a moan and I hated myself for being so submissive

“No.” he whispered “I missed you too much to stop now.”

His deep voice, the way he was touching and holding me like I was the most precious and fragile thing in the universe almost made me forget where we were, all the senses consumed by the thought of him, him, him….

It was only because of the three pairs of loud feet approaching that made me strong enough to push him away, immediately missing the contact. But shit, steamy make out session was not something those children were supposed to see. To be honest, all the emotions may have made me act a bit too forceful since with a flash of light I send unsuspecting Dick flying through the whole training room making him crash with the floor with a loud thump.

“YN?” Gar peeked through the door

“Dick?” Rachel asked at the same time immediately checking on him “are you all right?”

“Just some broken trust. And that’s by my teammate” he muttered looking at me with the sad and hurt expression.

“Sorry.” I muttered looking down “but it seems to me like you have lost your touch, Dickinson” I smirked using the nickname I gave him long time ago. “Did you guys want something? Maybe watch me taking Dick down another time?”

“I would love to ….” Gar started but Jason cut him off

“If anything I would love to fight against you, Flux. Bet you got moves….”

“Jason!” Dick yelled appalled by the way the other Robin winked at his girl while said girl was just holding back a laugh.

“We just wanted to let you guys know Gar found out some energy spike. May be where dr Light and Deathstroke are hiding. You should check it out.”

“Yeah, we will be there right in a second. We’ll join you, ok, Rachel?” acting so out-of-character Dick motioned them out “we just need to have a little talk about team trust and support…..”

Rachel looked between us but finally nodded and the three of them left.

“What happened, Dickie? Embarrassed of the humiliation? Bet it was painful when Rachel saw you so helpless and defeated?”

“You think I’m losing my touch, hmm?” he grabbed my waist making me squeal “Your body tells me something different….” Before I could react he tackled me to the ground, his body above mine, holding my hands above my head “who is helpless now, little one?” he muttered before his lips were back on mine.

"is that all you got bird boy?" I gasped when he pulled for air

"don't worry sweetheart I was just warming up" he smirked

Guess when he promised Rachel we will be there in a second he didn’t really mean it.….

[from-the-clouds]

We won! He's free, we can fix him ❤️

We also lost BUT WE WON!

Okay so yeah let me just talk out my thoughts. I’m seeing a lot of people on here talk about how tragic this ending is. But my spicy hot take is how shockingly hopeful it was.

Of course it wasn’t fully happy. There are tragic elements to where some of the characters ended. But I think all of them basically losing the company is the closest they’ll ever get to breaking the cycle. Also they’re all fucking so rich now I can’t feel bad for them not even for Shiv. None of them ever have to work again if they don’t want to. Roman seems to be almost relieved.

As for Kendall, if I know anything about being a kengirlie, that he is RESILIENT. This is not the first time he has thought all hope is lost. He always picks himself up off the ground even at his lowest points. And with Colin around I really don’t think he will die.

He was horrible to both of them in the end - but he was desperate. I still don’t think it’s the end of his relationship with his siblings. Their dad only died like a week ago. Things will be shitty for awhile but life will go on.

But yeah, he is free and he is alive which I honestly thought we’d only get one or the other. :)

Very satisfied with what happened tbh and sure I can pick apart how sad certain aspects are but they are still free??? I don’t know, it’s hard for me not to say this isn’t the best and most fitting ending they could possibly have in this world.

[catsafarithewriter]

A/N: PART 19 of the Bedlam au! In which Baron and Muta finally garner some answers!

X

Baron doesn't know how much time has passed when they eventually stumble across the tale of the Beldam.

It's in a scroll of feline legends, stories collected by rumour and hearsay, this one recounted by a stray cat, in his roaming between worlds.

"The souls the spider collects call her the Beldam, Baron reads aloud, "and it seems to be the closest thing the monster has to a name. In all my travels, I have never seen anything so reminiscent of the monsters told in my kittenhood, as is to be found in the Beldam. She is a kind of witch, nearly fae in her love of games, and resides almost entirely in an adjacent world of her own making. When she does venture out, it is only to lay her traps – button-eyed dolls mimicking her prey – through which she watches them.

"Just as well we left it back at the Bureau then," Muta remarks. "Wouldn't want it to know we're onto it."

"It would explain the strange magic in the doll. Once she has collected enough information," Baron continues, "she then alters her world, weaving puppets which pose as improved, or perhaps idealised versions of her prey's friends and family, using them to create a..." and he falters, if only for a moment, "wonderland kind of life."

"Doesn't sound too bad," Muta says.

"When her prey has fully fallen for the other world, the Beldam offers them the chance to stay forever," Baron reads, "if they allow buttons to be sewn over their eyes."

Muta gags. "I take it back. No wonderland is worth that."

Baron's stomach turns in quite a different way as he sees the next sentence. "This done, the Bedlam is free to take the soul of her victim. What she does with these souls, I do not know. I am only grateful that her appetite seems to be limited to human children, and I have encountered only one who has managed to escape her grasp."

The ensuing silence hangs heavy between them.

"That's it?" Muta asks. "No 'here's her one fatal flaw' or 'kick her in the left ankle and she'll go down like a sack of potatoes'? These things always have a weak point."

"If she does, our author here hasn't seen fit to include it."

"What about the kid who got free of her? How'd they do it?"

"It doesn't say, Muta," Baron says, frustration creeping in, despite his best efforts. "Perhaps they saw the Beldam for what she is, perhaos the Beldam made a mistake, I don't know. All I do know is that it seems she has turned her attention onto Haru."

"We don't know that for sure," Muta says. Even he doesn't sound like he buys his own words. "I mean, all we've got is a weird ragdoll, yeah? Doesn't mean it's the Beldam."

"A ragdoll with strange magic, a missing Toto, and a Haru who still seems to be vanishing off to join the Bureau, despite the fact that none of us have seen her since she left."

"Yeah, but... she's smart. She wouldn't, y'know, just blindly trust some button-eyed doppelgangers, would she?"

Maybe she would if she was pushed, Baron thinks, and he has to barricade his heart off from the barbed regret of his treatment of Haru. If he hadn't barred her from the Sanctuary...

"There's one way to find out," he says instead. "Set a tracking spell on the doll and follow it back to its place of origin. If this Beldam is the cause, we'll know."

[very-gay-poet]

Harry’s Patronus/Animagus isn’t a Stag.  (When I wrote this I was severely sleep deprived and just wrote this out so I could stop thinking about it so i apologise if I don’t make a lot of sense, repeat stuff or spelling errors. I also do loose my point somewhere in here but be patient I do get it back at the end enjoy!)

A stag is James Potter’s animagus and most likely his Patronus. 

James and Harry are not the same person. 

I hate the idea of Harry’s animagus being a stag since that is just not Harry! 

Stags symbolise gentleness, innocence, intuition, and unconditional love, as well as safety, strength, and protection. Basically everything we know as to be James Potter. 

His unconditional love with Remus, his protection over Sirius when he ran way, safety and strength is practically his moto and what the rest of the marauders see in James. His strength and the feeling of safety around him is what made so popular. 

Harry’s Patronus/Animagus isn’t a Stag. 

This maybe a bit of a stretch, but idc, Harry first did a Patronus when he was 13. 

When he was 13, he knew fairly a lot about his parents. One thing we really know is that his dad (as Harry thought at the time) was put on a pedestal as a man with no flaws. Harry had met his parents best friends (Remus) and obviously heard a lot about his dad mostly from off handed things like them looking alike.

Harry continuously takes pride when someone’s says this to him in his first couple years in the wizarding world. 

But what happened when this pedestal broke? What happened when he found out that his father, a man to be described as the closest thing to perfect, had a lot of flaws (the main one being his arrogance). 

In the beginning of OoTP Harry is fully able to produce a Patronus (albeit with a bit of trouble but the kid had still been processing Cedric’s death and Voldemort coming back to life and the graveyard thing so give him a break) but by the time Harry saw snapes memory and went as far to think that Lilly was forced to marry James, he didn’t (as far as I’m aware of) produce a Patronus. 

By the sixth and seventh book (when he was questioning who his father was and if he could’ve been too naive) he wasn’t able to produce a Patronus at all. 

In my opinion, Harry’s Patronus came from the love and admiration of James. It isn’t even too far fetched. 

Tonks and Snape’s both changed to match the ones they love. 

Tonks’s turned into a wolf and Snape’s to a doe.  

If Tonks had an animagus form it 100% would not be a wolf. It’s the same with Snape. It would most likely (said by the author herself) be a Bat. 

Your animagus and Patronus is not the same thing. 

As I’ve said, Stags/deers represent gentleness, innocence, intuition, and unconditional love, as well as safety, strength, and protection. This does not suit Harry at all. 

Gentleness is not Harry’s forte when it comes to his hot temper, for innocence he has seen more then most adult wizards have and witnessed so many people die, was tourchered by the most powerful man of the age aka his parents murderer, following the death of a classmate/companion, and the person who’s the reason he’s an orphan cut off his hand to rebirth said murderer, many people were there and laughed, etc etc (I could litterly go on all day), the boy is about as observant as a brick wall, unconditional love I can get behind yes he shares that trait, boy has never been safe before in his life what you on about, strength yes he does have a ton of strength for not just getting a gun and shooting bloody old Voldy in his none existent nose and yeah so pretty good with that, protection is a hot topic, since this could mean one of a couple of things:

Lilly’s protection 

People y’know dying for him 

The boy has never really been protected since he was one sooo

As for all reasons above, Harry Patronus is a stag, not because it fits him, it’s besucase he loves his dad goddammit!!!!  AND IN THE DEATHLY HALLOWS MY POINT IS LITTERLY PROVEN WHEN HARRY SAYS: “The fact of his own survival burned inside him, a talisman against them, as though his father’s stag kept guardian in his heart.”

FATHERS STAG!

A better fit for Harry, in my opinion, would be a black cat. 

A black cat, to many, is an omen of bad luck. Is some other cultures it’s a sign of good luck however. And we can sure as hell say that his boy has both on his side simultaneously and is fighting each other constantly. 

When asking Google what a cat symbolises it says: 

“The cat symbolizes grace, intelligence, cunning, and independence. The cat is a fascinating animal that cultures around the world have long revered. They are agile and nimble, able to move with silence and stealth. At the same time, they are also fiercely independent, choosing to live on their own terms.” 

Let’s break this apart. 

Grace 

Grace means, in a short form, elegance. 

Elegance is something Harry definitely has, just not on two feet. 

When Harry’s is on his broom, playing or practicing Quidditch, he is extremely skilled, earning his spot of the youngest seeker in a century. In his first Quidditch match, Harry won for gryffindor by standing on his broom, somehow balancing his weight perfectly, and was able to catch the snitch. (This may be only in the movie sorry).

Harry’s skills on his broom and in Quidditch are to thank his ability to have such grace on a broom. 

Intelligence is something Harry 100% does not lack. “—not a bad mind either—There’s talent, oh my goodness yes—“ - the sorting hat, 1991. 

“Not a bad mind either” is to reference that Harry would’ve been a good fit for any house, as in the it referenced all four houses, and the simplification of people in each house value. 

Harry is also the person to completely understand  Dumbledore’s plan in the deathly hallows so quickly I was honestly shocked

When I read DH I was actually very shocked on how fast Harry picked up on Dumbledore’s plan. He said, almost word for word, what his plan was and Ron and Hermione (mainly Hermione) didn’t believe it. 

It was clear here, by just this example, that Harry has far more open mindedness than his friends and intelligence in general. 

As he was the one to figure out that Voldy used the R.O.R to hide the Diadem. 

Cunning. 

Cunning means having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by deceit or evasion. 

This can be shown when Harry and Ron (in the CoS) were going to Moaning Myrtles bathroom when Harry made the quick excuse saying that they were visiting Hermione in the hospital wing. 

“Having or showing skill in achieving one’s end by deceit or evasion” 

And he was supposed to be in Slytherin! 

Independence is clearly not an issue when it comes to Harry. 

He was alone for ten years and he didn’t turn out half bad! 

He spent ten years alone and in CoS and GoF he spent them years almost completely alone. He clearly doesn’t mind being alone (as seen through the series as a whole). 

“The cat is a fascinating animal that cultures around the world have long revered.” 

“The boy who lived is a fascinating person that cultures around the world have long revered.” 

I CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP IT JUST FITS SO PERFECTLY!!!! 

“They are agile and nimble, able to move with silence and stealth”

in the CoS he tells Fred and George when they’re picking the lock to his cupboard to get his wizard stuff that the bottom step creaks. It seems he understands how to to be silent in the Dursleys house at all times. 

In Ps he says something like he wished he nicked one of Dudley’s watches so he knew when the Dursleys were asleep so he could sneak into the kitchen. 

He clearly knows this house inside and out to know what time, the exact time, the Dursleys go to bed. 

Nimble is an easy one too. As seen in reason cunning fits him.

Nimble means along the lines of quick thinking. 

As seen beautifully presented to us when Snape wants to see Harry’s potions book after what happened in the bathroom with malfoy (when he almost killed him). 

Harry quickly asks ron if he could Borrow his potions book.

“Rooni Wizlab?” 

“That’s my nickname.” 

And goes on to explain what a nickname is. 

“choosing to live on their own terms.” 

I don’t think I even need to say anything about this because that’s just the definition of Harry James Potter there. 

In conclusion: 

Harry’s Patronus is a stag because he loves his dad and his animagus is a Black Cat okay goodbye

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

sorry im gonna send you another ask cos im Obsessed with you. now do star trek. um specially ds9 but also tng pls and thank you also i love you . And you can answer for tos too if you want 😋

KICKS MY LITTLE FEETS IN THE AIR FOREVERRRRR 🤭🤭🙈🙈🙈 YAAYAYY MUTUAL OBSESSIONNNN ❣️❣️❣️❣️ILYYYY

Favorite character: tos is spock tng is data ds9 is quark HEEHEEEE 🤭🤭🤭

Second favorite character: tos is jim tng is UHM. IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE. BUT MY SWEET ANGEL WESLEY 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 OR MY SILLY ANGEL WORF 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 and ds9 i loveeee jadzia… 💙💙💙

Least favorite character: tos i dont dislike anyone on the crew so probably mudd bc even tho i really love his eps hes a good villain hes also a misogynist </3 tng is pulaski like SORRYYY to all the thinkpiece bitches out there saying its not feminist to hate her bc shes basically the same as bones its like. 1. okay so shes kind of badly written bc they just tried to rip off bones and 2. her thing with data isnt the same as his with spock bc spock was bitchy right back but data just didnt get it. so she was just being straight up cruel to him all the time and nobody defended him. YEAH SHE GOT ME HEATED. and ds9 i got distracted by so many other tv shows shes been on hiatus for a bit but kai winn booooo we hate your ass 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

The character I’m most like: now. Uhm. literally fighting one million years with myself to determine kirk or spock and i never fully decided so we will leave it at they are two sides of the same coin and that coin is MEEEE ^_^. tng is hard to say bc i love them all but none of them ever grabbed me by the throat and shoved me into a mirror like so many other shows have done. i think either data geordi or picard (minus his leadership skills) would be the closest fit for me. and well as those who were here for biquark url know. 😏🤭

Favorite pairing: tos is obviously spirk 5ever and always like it changed the world. they are the fucking blueprint for everything they invented gay people. tng literally everything is so fun i think everyone has huge chemistry such interesting dynamics with each other. deanna and riker invented t4t bi4bi love but then geordi and data invented my lovely robot wife but then rikorf invented silly boy and autistic boy love and then qcard invented me and my wet crumpled paper bag weirdo boyfriend. HOW COULD I DECIDE… 💔💔 and ds9 quodo is everythang… i love you sillies ❤️

Least favorite pairing: this has less to do with tos and more the crimes of other trek series using tos characters but. spuhura i guess you had some moments but why did they do both your characters the disservice :(( and tos chapel and spock was so nice and hurting like i love her she crucified herself for the right to love a stoic alien (girl i get ittt) and snw fucking slaughtered her. literally feel sick thinking about how horribly they adapted her. evil and sick and twisted. anyways. tng i didnt love geordis weird hologirlfriend and also barclay stay your ass away from any woman on board. ds9 whaaaleeeee i dont really hate anything at the moment ^-^ i guess when i swing back around to it i may have more to say…. 🧐

Favorite moment: OHHHOHHHHOHHH. WELL. tos pretty much anything with spock he is my beautiful angel. but ill say the entirety of city on the edge of forever its so insanely good and has me vomiting up blood. oh also i love kevin riley when he goes crazy and is singing to the ship :•) tng oh god when data is on that planet with the little girl hes pen pals with. ingrained in my brain forever. but there are honestly so many moments i could name like i think they might be my favorite crew ever like i said the chemistry between each and every character is so fucking amazing. and also horny. i love you deanna and riker 🫶🏻 and ds9 frankly im obsessed with quark and the undercover girl ferengi bc hes so bisexual with her in drag well um. who said that

Rating out of 10: 10/10 fucking all around forever theyre my three beautiful weed smoking girlfriends. We Dont Have To Talk About The Movies.

[thegroundsofbrooklyn]

the combination of liking west side story and doing a benvolio monologue for an audition is brutal. i have so many opinions on the fact that a lot of people seem to say that riff is a combination of mercutio and benvolio

and since this is the internet i will be sharing these opinions

okay so.

i guess people think this because in romeo and juliet, romeo has two best friends - mercutio and benvolio - whereas in west side story tony only has riff. but while riff and mercutio's characters line up almost perfectly, riff and benvolio are POLAR OPPOSITES. benvolio is kind, cautious, good-natured, avoids conflict, etc. and i love riff but he is basically NONE of those things. while on the other hand mercutio is rash, chaotic, and fully prepared to fistfight someone he doesn't agree with. not to mention in general riff's actual actions align with mercutio's a lot more (like stepping in for tony / romeo during the fight)

i actually think that the character closest to that of benvolio is baby john. granted, there are still a lot of major differences, and it's pretty clear that the character of benvolio was intended to be more or less just omitted from west side story entirely - possibly because it would be difficult to create and justify a character who is involved with riff and the jets but still remains an objectively good person from the perspective of the audience - but if i had to pick out the west side story character closest to him, it would be baby john.

he's the jet who's the most cautious / reluctant to just jump into fights (for example in the original movie all the jets are planning what to do to the sharks and he suggests that they just forget the whole thing) - which tbf isn't really saying much but yknow. he's presented as the most classically 'young and innocent' of the jets, and he's the one who always seems the most hesitant to actually do anything with the gang despite seeing them as his friends, which actually fits benvolio's character a lot.

anyways that's just my Thoughts that have been swimming around in my brain for several months hope yall enjoyed

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragonball Z: Abridged Episode 9 Review

Originally posted August 17th, 2015

The difficulties of adaptation.

One of the most important decisions I made when preparing to review Dragonball Z: Abridged was to treat it the same as any other adaptation, because that’s essentially what it is. And like any adaptation, DBZA can be constrained by the limitations of its source material.

The difference between DBZA and most adaptations, of course, is that it uses and re-edits the animation of the original show, splicing together clips to fit their own narrative, rather than adapting a story from one medium into another. This is a pretty significant limitation, and it means that Team Four Star is required to follow each beat of the original story, with next to no freedom to stray off from that story.

Up until now, Team Four Star has made the most of this limitation, using clever editing and writing to add comedy to a very broad and often disjointed story. They also were able to manage pacing very well, thanks to the number of characters whose story needed to be told; they’d cut to a character, progress them as much as possible in a couple of minutes, and then cut away to the next character, progressing their story as much as possible.

It often didn’t work in their favor, and a lot of their writing only served to make the stories feel more disjointed, but it still gave them room to experiment. And then in episodes 7 and 8, they tightened the story, focusing in on one group of characters and letting their interaction be the source of most of the humor.

The content of episode 9 makes both of Team Four Star’s previous approaches impossible. Most of the characters are already dead, for one, and the only events that they can cut between is Krillin, Piccolo, and Gohan facing the Saiyans, and Goku traveling down Snake Way to join the fight. Their solution is about as optimal as possible, as they choose to focus the story on the conflict on earth, while only giving us a brief look at Goku’s progress in the intro.

None of this is to say that episode 9 is bad, of course; it’s still streets ahead of some of the earlier episodes, and most of the jokes land really well. Gohan’s outburst, in which he descriptively defines the word “skullfuck,” is hilarious and well-earned, considering that Gohan just lost the closest thing he’ll ever have to a father.

Character wise, we get some great development for Vegeta, with his narcissism and impatience on fully display as he refuses to acknowledge Goku’s superior strength and kills Nappa for costing him immortality. Piccolo’s sacrifice is also handled quite well, as he realizes at the last second that he should’ve just moved Gohan out of the way, and then proceeds to scold Gohan for his failure to dodge as his dying breath.

Rating: 4/5

If you liked this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

As bad of a joke as Princess Solid Snake was the first time around, I do appreciate that they keep her voice consistent.

[jenoloqy]

romancing | lee donghyuck

REPOSTED FROM MY OLD BLOG!

pairing. lee donghyuck x female reader

word count. 23.7k

genres and warnings. fluff, comedy, college au, enemies to lovers, podcast au, contains: loads of banter, swearing, weird references of tinder and tiktok references; and hyuck being whipped asf

synopsis. running a romance advisory podcast with lee donghyuck means clashing and feuding with him because you’re too hopeless while he’s too realistic. practically everyone in campus listens to it, which is why you have no idea that your co-host has started asking the show for love advice since he’s fallen for someone. for all you know, lee donghyuck does not fall in love, but you don’t know what’s changed.

author’s note. i am so scared to repost this. idk why. but ahahahaha i hope you enjoy my favourite fluff monster

Welcome to Romanicing, a romance advisory podcast hosted by two broke college students who are only doing this to pass their Speech Communications class. Nothing really special, except for the fact that the two broke college students starring this podcast haven't actually been in any form of romantic relationships. Fun, right? If you believe so, tune in every Friday 8pm for mediocre content and send in your love letters for your story to be featured!

EPISODE 1: the art of online dating sites

If there is one successful dating tip that you know could never go wrong, it would be to never chase over people that do not have the same values as you and will not care to change theirs for the sake of the relationship. You’d like to give full credit to your history teacher back in high school for introducing you to that idea, because now that you’re more exposed to the dating world with all it’s perks and scandals, you’d like to say you survived a good portion of people and their opposed political views from yours. 

It is the reason why all your tinder dates have been a failure; none of them can’t even go past the first date level and it almost scares your neighbour from seeing the amount of dinner dates you come home from with the worst scowl on your face. In fact, your tinder dates are worse than Jaemin’s calculus marks, and everyone knows he failed that course twice already. 

You won’t fully admit that this dating tip has been the major factor to why your dating life has been a total flop, you’d beg to differ. It actually gives you a greater hope that one day, you’ll find the perfect person that will actually fit your standards out of all the other ones that haven’t fit it. And when you finally find that person, it will be the best day of your life. 

For now, let’s focus on the worst day of your life. 

The day you are forced to chase a person who doesn’t have the same values as you. All for a decent mark in your Speech Communications class because your professor had the audacity to partner you up with Lee Donghyuck even after witnessing all the heavily tensioned debates that ensue between the both of you in class. 

“The fact that this is all going to be pre-recorded but we sound like complete idiots makes my headache,” you mumble to the microphone, earning a look of displeasure from your partner, “Anyways, I’ve recently opened our PO box, and I didn't realize that tons of you guys would actually participate. Thanks for the support.”

“With all the posters you placed on campus and peer pressuring anyone that passes by you in the hallways to send in some love letters, I’m surprised if nobody would participate.” You watch as Donghyuck rolls his eyes, and if it only weren’t for the expensive equipment separating the both of you across the table, you would’ve thrown the closest item to you, which is your morning coffee. 

“It’s called advertising, Donghyuck.”

“No wonder why you didn’t pursue business; wise words from a Communications Major.”

There’s a sparkle of satisfaction running through his blood when he sees you taken aback. And knowing that you can’t do anything about that witty remark, he leans back on his chair, watching as you make an attempt to keep yourself composed during the recording while he lets out a light chuckle. 

The moment he notices you clench your fists, the smile on his face grows wider.

Fake it till’ you make it. 

“And since we’re talking about communication, the first set of love advice we’ll be sharing with you guys is about online dating and meeting people through Omegle—you like what I did there?” You say to the recording. Not to Donghyuck — never Donghyuck. “Many of your stories were surrounded by this concept and it’s only fair if we start off this podcast with a bang.” 

“I think online dating is stupid,” your partner comments unhelpfully. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t read any of the love letters and has been relying on you to carry the project. Curse him and his invalid opinions. “I’ve never seen anybody that used Tinder to have gone farther with their relationship other than the talking stage or one-night-stand stage”

“That’s because you're searching in the wrong places,” you take his words to heart, almost pettily because you have to deal with a person who easily stereotypes the online dating world when you know there’s so much more to it. You can’t really say much about it (since your experiences really aren’t the best), but the fair share of documentaries and stories you heard about the successful matches should get into people’s heads. 

“Look— there was a couple that started dating through Omegle, and the boy lived in California while the other is currently living on campus. They’ve been together for two years.”

“Oh. That’s cool, I guess.” He shrugs, still seeming unconvinced. You’ve made a lot of bad decisions throughout your lifetime, but creating a podcast surrounding the concepts of love and dating with Donghyuck is your worst decision yet. Because now that you watch him tap the pencil on the table with little to no interest on his face, you conclude that Lee Donghyuck knows nothing about love and the perks of it. 

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” You stare down at him, agape. 

“I mean— What else do you want me to say?”

“Donghyuck, this is a podcast.” With that, he looks at you as if you’re speaking to him in a foreign language. You don’t understand why he chose to pursue this type of education when he doesn’t know the basic means and fundamentals. “You need to… you know… talk…”

“Can’t we just cut this part then?” Donghyuck raises both of his hands, his tone sarcastic and emotions unbothered.

“Don’t play stupid. I’m not going to spend most of my evening editing this just because my co-host, which to note is pursuing a career that consists of talking to other people, can’t think of the proper words to say.” You let out a loud sigh, grabbing your mug of coffee and chugging down the lukewarm drink out of stress. They say that doing group work means less individual work, but when your partner does the bare minimum, it feels as if you’re doing double the work instead. 

“Okay, okay, calm down.” he chuckles lightly, whisking away his hand and adjusting the office chair to speak closer to the mic. He looks straight into your eyes when he talks, and you don’t know if he’s doing it to tease you. “Hmm, I’m just a little sceptical about meeting other people through the internet. I have my skepticisms on it. The first and last time my housemate tried online dating, he just got catfished.”

“Are you talking about—?” You suddenly get reminded of Jeno. 

“Mhm.” He nods. “So yeah, big red flag for me there. If you guys want to find sentimental, genuine relationships with others. I’d say look for the people around you in person.” Donghyuck is right and wrong at the same time. 

“I don’t think online dating sites take away someone’s ability to be genuine to another person. I don’t think it really takes away anything for the matter. Yeah people use it for hookups but there’s a whole other side where people actually look for love. In fact, it probably makes relationships stronger; especially when there’s a distance, a screen that’s refraining you from actually meeting a person until you do; it just shows how even through this separation love can bloom.”

“Now you’re just sugarcoating.” He wails and leans back aggressively on the chair, the both of you done with each other's opinions but have nothing to do with it because you need this assignment mark. And it seems like even with 50% worth of both your grades worth on the line, it seems he can put his differences aside to make this podcast seem less of a circus and instead a decent outline to get dating advice. 

“I’m just spreading hope. Unlike you over here who probably hasn’t made an attempt to download a dating app.” It’s no use trying to correct someone who doesn’t want to be corrected.

“Did any of your Tinder dates work?” He attacks out of nowhere, and your heart stops for a second when a smirk forms on his face mirthfully. 

“Pardon?” You ask, blinking your eyes repeatedly.

“Answer my question.” 

The heat on your cheeks keeps Donghyuck’s face looking satisfied because he knows that he’s cornered you at the end of the alley. And it’s worse that you're a person who never lies, “No…”

Your hands slightly clench under the table. “And that concludes our stance on online dating. It. Doesn’t. Work.” At that, Donghyuck pats himself on the back.

Your eyes widen. What is he doing? It’s like Donghyuck wants to lose viewers and lose both your credibilities. And now, you genuinely hope your professor steps on a path of Legos for partnering you with him. “Don’t listen to him, I swear one day you’ll find someone! Love takes time! You’re first right swipe isn’t necessarily your life-long partner, you just have to be patient—”

“Are you going to listen to someone who can’t even find a date herself?”

It’s when Donghyuck bites his lip to refrain himself from laughing that you’ve lost all the last droplets of your patience. 

“Your face looks very punchable right now.” You tell him through gritted teeth. 

“Come at me. I don’t mind.” The beam that breaks out on his face doesn’t make the situation any better, and your whole body collectively agrees to never be in the same room with him, alone, after this project ends. 

EPISODE 2: the morning after (the show went live)

Right off the bat, you knew the podcast would gain some talk around the campus, but you didn’t actually expect for it to blow up over night. 

You have a faint idea as to why it happened, and it’s no surprise that the first two thoughts that popped up in your mind would be because of the excellent marketing skills you’ve contributed to the project or; because Donghyuck is the school’s well known striker in the soccer team and (you hate to admit) a heartthrob and most of the views are coming from the people that think he’s hella cute. You hope for the former.

But when Jaemin reads out the school’s bi-weekly paper in the middle of his tutoring lesson, you realize that the reason why people in your school are tweeting about the podcast is because of a whole other reason. 

The reason being, yours and Donghyuck’s on-mic banters. 

“That was so hilarious,” Jaemin gets distracted for the upteenth time during his tutoring session with you, indulging himself into some talk about your new podcast with his roommate while he throws his pencil up in the air in a frantic manner. Fun fact, actually really really sad fact, the reason why you know Donghyuck on a personal level is through Jaemin, and being the wonderful best friend he is to you (insert the sarcasm), he finds it absolutely lovely you can interact with his roommates. 

“For you, it was.” You shove in a piece of broccoli from the college meal plan in your mouth. Well, Jaemin’s piece of broccoli because he refuses to eat it and gives it to you instead. You chew your food as you talk, “I mean… yeah people got a good laugh because of it. But I don’t want to enter the lecture and see a disappointed look from prof’ after hearing how unprofessional me and Donghyuck were.”

“Uh…” Jaemin chuckles nervously, not knowing what to say as he scratches the back of his head. There’s a meek smile playing on his lips, “It’s not about being professional. I think it’s nice that you guys are able to banter like that, it shows your personalities… and some on-mic chemistry.”

“C-Chemistry?” You stare at him in the most awe-struck expression your face can muster up, lips turning pale at the fact that Jaemin thinks that you and Donghyuck have a dynamic like that. It’s weird to think about. You and Donghyuck... with chemistry... you feel a shiver run through your back. 

“Well, yeah. You guys always know what to say to each other.” Jaemin absentmindedly comments as he closes his calculus textbook. You’re pretty sure he’s stalling at this point and he doesn’t want you to talk anymore mathematical terminology, but you’re too worried about his opinion to continue teaching him.

“That’s because we argue a lot. I practically think of arguments in the shower so I make decent comebacks from his insults.” You raise your arms in defeat, leaning back on your chair and unable to realize that Donghyuck is listening well to your conversation with Jaemin.

“So you think about me in the shower?” He says from the living room — which is honestly only ten metres away from the dining table — and a smirk lingers on his face, “I love that.”

You hate his egotistical mindset, “Not in that way, you idiot.”

“Oh,” he shivers delightfully, “I love the degradation, keep on going, princess.”

You jerk your head to face him, squinting as you watch him sit down on the couch, placing his sports bag right on the vacant area beside him and turning his periphery back to you to notice the literal death glares you're giving him. He likes the attention.

You decide not to argue further, unless you want to make Donghyuck satisfied. You don’t. He wants you to piss him off, to give him all the attention you can give. So you give him the opposite of what he wants. 

“Anyways, Jaemin.” You turn your head back to face your best friend, opening up his textbook and watching as he slumps down. Jaemin really thought he could get away with his act, “Look at problem number four...”

And while you start to get back into the tutoring lesson, Donghyuck watches you argue back and forth in the slightest ways with Jaemin, his heart racing when he hears the small giggles that elicit your mouth when you let Jaemin complain to you how much of a pain his mandatory calculus class is, or when your eyebrows furrow at reading his textbook. He thinks it’s cute.

Wait, what?

“So... How long are you gonna put up with this act?” Donghyuck almost forgets that Jeno is in the same room as him, which is why he jumps from his seat when he sees Jeno looking up from his laptop to look back at Donghyuck with such a taunting expression. 

He clears his throat, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Donghyuck makes a reminder to himself to keep his tone low, because even if yours and Jaemin’s voices are too loud to be able to hear the other conversation happening on the other side of the room, there’s still a possibility you can hear it.

“Yes you do.” Jeno chuckles, standing up from the love seat and making his way so he can sit on the same couch as his roommate, “You definitely know what I’m talking about.” 

At this, his throat turns dry.

There’s a confession Donghyuck needs to make, and probably everyone has already been aware of this secret before he even confesses it. Well, not everybody. He doesn’t actually hate you. In fact, he doesn’t know what catalyzed him to pretend to hate you in the first place. But you don’t know that. Not when you’re too busy mustering up your next argument with him to realize he actually doesn’t reciprocate the hatred you give.

He doesn’t hate you. He thinks you’re pretty cool. Pretty and cool. 

And the thing is, when Donghyuck thinks someone is pretty (and) cool, he would like it if he could get their attention. Even if that attention isn’t the best form of attention that could exist. It’s stupid. It’s his beautiful and absolute form of desperate measures. But you’re pretty and cool. 

He wants your attention.

"Okay, listen," he keeps his tone low, leaning closer in order for Jeno to hear his whispers. It's almost passive aggressive, and he talks through gritted teeth. "You don't just say this out loud, what if those two hear you?”

Although it contrasts Donghyuck's stance, the last thing he wants to happen is for you to find out about his perception of you. It's better this way, he assumes. It's better because he doesn't have to over-analyze anything. If anything, it keeps him more at bay; obviously excluding the times Jeno has to call him out on how whipped he looks. Because he isn't whipped nor infatuated, he just finds you tolerable more than you can account. And, again, pretty cool.

“You’re. Right. What if those two hear us? Will something happen?” Jeno emphasizes; still not empathetic of Donghyuck and deciding to talk in such a loud manner.

Donghyuck's heart races when you momentarily turn to their direction, eyebrows furrowing at the commotion of the two boys. It makes him freeze to his spot, terrified of almost getting caught before you turn back around casually and continue on helping with Jaemin.

Jeno watches as Donghyuck releases a breath of relief, and this causes a nudge on the shoulder, because Jeno should know when to keep his mouth shut, yet he still decides not to. He wiggles his eyebrows at Donghyuck with a mischievous glint taunting his eye, enjoying the scowl on the boy's face.

“Don’t.” Donghyuck leans back on the couch, sending Jeno those words in a whisper-yell.

If Donghyuck ever regrets any moment he's done in his life, and his you-only-live-once agenda, it would be that he told Jeno of all people his secret. And with every passing second, Donghyuck feels as if he's falling into a miserable hell hole because of anxiousness, trying his best not to look back at your figure just to make sure you aren't listening to the conversation.

He feels like a high school student being painfully obvious about his crush. But he knows better than to compare this to a crush. It's not a crush. It's just you. The bane of his existence. And that can mean something different depending on the context and perspective you look through.

“Don’t what?” Jeno tests. Yup, he hates his guts. And the chuckle that escapes the other boy's lips is turning Donghyuck crimson red.

“Fuck you.” He mutters underneath his breath, trying to fleet his mind of the situation as he plays with the laces of his soccer shoes inside his backpack; anything to distract him. He doesn't even know why Jeno has the audacity to bring this up now, he knows you're at the same roof as him; and his eyes light up when he hits a nerve.

“Imagine all the girls that will be disappointed when they find out that pretty boy over here can swear.” Jeno shakes his head in faux disappointment, making his way to grab the remote controller and turning on the television. In attempts to drown out the noise they are making. “Now tell me, what with Y/N that makes you act like… this.”

The question causes him at a halt. Why is he even acting like this? What the fuck?

After a five second pause, he speaks up, “Nothing. I just think she’s cute.” Donghyuck shrugs, finally making an effort to compose himself instead of staying flustered in front (but not really in front) of you.

“Yeah, sure.” Jeno rolls his eyes. He doesn't buy it.

Blame his marketing tactics, because Jeno knows when someone is lying or not. It's a business major instinct, to know if someone is being genuine with their words, or just saying them to save face. He knows Donghyuck is just saying that to save face.

And you know what gave it away?

It's when he looks down at the ground, smiling to himself when he says those words. No one does that unless they are whipped.

“What?” Donghyuck looks up, furrowing his brows and staring at Jeno questioningly, his eyes asking for him to elaborate.

He has a slight idea of what Jeno is implying.

“So, you’re not going to tell her.”

Jeno says more as a statement rather than a question, nodding to himself to accept how that situation will end up as. For some reason, Donghyuck can hear the downheartedness enlaced in his roommate's voice, and he doesn't understand why so. Because Jeno knows you, it's not even that serious. He knows Donghyuck isn't that type of person.

But it's the fact that it is you of all people that caught Donghyuck's eye. You. Just regular, mediocre, you. Jaemin's best friend who visits the apartment every other day and shares an 8am class with him. Nothing special at that. But something special enough to gain a reputation from Donghyuck that is not part of the people that likes him for clout. You're the enemy-not-so-enemy.

It's almost flattering that you both end up like this. It keeps him up his toes, excited at what next argument you'll be able to muster up in front of him. There's no compliments nor sweet interactions. It's purely of insults and dirty looks and maybe a casual interaction once in every new moon. And he thinks that that is pretty cool.

“Hell nah. She doesn’t need to know.” He likes it this way. It's fun, new, refreshing. “I don’t want to see her getting all gassed up because of it.”

Donghyuck chuckles to himself, zipping up his backpack.

“Or maybe you can actually have a chance.” Jeno corrects, but Donghyuck refuses to let this get to him.

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “Never that.”

And he will take this stance till’ the day he dies.

Because Lee Donghyuck, soccer player, campus heartthrob, will not say those words out loud. Lee Donghyuck refuses to, and he too refuses to fall in love. Romance podcast or not, he will not fall in love with anyone; his extent will only be thinking of someone as ‘pretty cool’, and that already, is sending red flags his way.

EPISODE 3: the sports captain stereotypes 

The next two weeks, you find yourself in utter chaos as you navigate through the waves of learning how to properly detail the podcast so it will be user-friendly enough — curse being a Technology Grandma™ in the first place — and; doing the editing, rough scripts and idea planning all by yourself. All while your supposed partner in crime does the bare minimum.

You try not to blame him, since he did mention that his schedule is pretty hectic: Tuesday and Thursday mornings are designated for going to the gym, Wednesday to Friday at 3:00pm is for soccer practice, his weekends are also busy because he uses that time to party and study; and though you have your fair share of college struggles, it isn’t as ridiculous compared to a student athlete, which is why you brought it up to yourself to carry the assignment. 

But it still doesn’t change the fact that he must still contribute to the good mark, after all, he too is one of the professor's favourite student’s (along with you, surprise), and he would be dead-fucked if he fails this course. 

It doesn’t help that you hate his guts.

It doesn’t help that you have to put aside that hatred to get this project finished, instead of hating him more for not doing anything. 

You don’t know how you’ve managed to memorize his schedule… then again, you also remember Jeno’s schedule so it shouldn’t be that of a big deal… but you decide to take advantage of this piece of knowledge and proceed to reach out to Donghyuck.

It’s a shame that desperate times call for desperate measures, because if Donghyuck had the initiative to at least help you with some parts of the project, even with his schedule, then you wouldn’t end up with this predicament.

Jaemin and Jeno says they will wait in the car, eating away the fast food takeout you three ordered earlier (you doubt they will even save some food the time you return) and sending you an encouraging thumbs up before they bury their faces in the burgers, you looking at them painfully disgusted before grabbing your laptop and notebook, trudging across the parking lot and towards the campus field. 

Right from the get-go, you can already dread the image of talking to him; Donghyuck, the one who’s most likely dripping in sweat because he’s just finished practice, feeling the shivers crawl down your skin the moment Donghyuck realizes that you took the time to work on the assignment even under the sun. Especially with your whole “I don’t chase people” ordeal, he will definitely not forget this. 

To you, Lee Donghyuck is merely a boy who you will only act respectively because he’s your best friend’s roommate, and for the sake of getting a good mark. There has always been a principle to his arrogance and smugness — something that will unforcebly cause your face to scrunch in disdain. And with the amount of torment he’s given you by just simply existing in your life, you’d like to say you have your fair share of valid reasons why you don’t want to be in the same league as him. 

But nevertheless, you will still work with him. Again, just for the sake of getting a good mark.

The sun delicately drips down the soccer field, rays of golden light seeping down the grass patch just while the Coach’s whistle blows, the sound of him screaming ‘thirty seconds left’ from the sidelines causing the team to speed up their laps around the field. At the opposite end of the field from where you're standing, is the specific person you’re looking for; he who has placed more effort than anybody else to sprint the last few seconds.

“Oh,” you accidentally let out when your eyes trail to Donghyuck’s figure, seeing how his jersey tightly clings onto his body. Although everybody else in the field is decked out in the exact same uniform, you could easily recognize the outline of his ass and how his shorts perfectly hug his skin like it’s already part of his body. And you instantly look away, hating that you can admit such a fact in the first place. 

A smirk plays across his face when he realizes he’s the first one done the laps, his chest heaving up and down heavily and placing his hands on his knees, catching his breath. You swear, you don’t mean to look at him, heck you don’t even know why you still look back at his figure, but the odds are never in your favour when Donghyuck looks up. 

He feels a presence looking at his figure, and when he decides to see where it’s coming from, he sees you, standing meekly by the sidelines, hugging your laptop like it’s a safety blanket and the tote bag tempting to fall off your shoulders, and the smirk on his face grows wider.

And Donghyuck is good at maintaining eye contact, because his gaze lingers on you for a little while, wiping off the sweat trickling down his face all while keeping his eyes on you. You can feel your cheeks heat up, and when you turn to stare at another soccer player to save some embarrassment, Donghyuck scoffs and chuckles to himself.

He stands straight, turning to the coach and lifting his hand.

“Coach give me five,” he calls for five, and the whistle blows loudly through your ears. It's only been less than thirty seconds since your arrival, and you can already feel yourself regretting going here in the first place. The hold on your laptop gets tighter when he walks up to you, an aura of confidence and mirth radiating his presence as he moves closer to you.

You glare at him, but it doesn't make your side of the situation any better. Instead, the smile on his face unwavers. The annoyance dripping against your gritted teeth reaches the maxima when he stops in front of you, only inches apart, placing both hands on his hips and wondering why the hell you're here.

“Well, if it isn't my favourite girl. I’m glad you came to cheer for me,” the sweetness in his voice irks your skin, if your hands weren't full in this moment, then you could've used it to push him away from you.

“Woah, calm down for a sec’,” you step back, opting to place your stuff on the bleachers beside you and giving him a slight glare, “I’m not here to ‘cheer’ for you, I’m here against my own will just so I can find time to do this project with you. So if you can, will you please catch your breath quicker and do this with me?”

He pants heavily, touching his chest and controlling his breathing. When he sees you roll your eyes at his act, he snickers and proceeds to swipe his hair back, feigning amusement when you try to ignore what he's trying to do to you.

Honestly, you could just turn your heel around and act as if you never made the decision to visit him during practice. You can act like this was all just a plain dream and pretend it never happened; just texting him later in the evening to do his part of the project and hope for the best that he will, actually do it. In fact, you can pick your stuff up from the bleachers and just eat the take out in the parking lot with the other two boys, but because Donghyuck has called a five minute break just, it's the simplest reason why you're holding back.

“Feisty.” Donghyuck notes to himself aloud, and you send him a snarl, only for him to make another step closer to you, “Anyways, you know we could’ve just done this at my place.” He crosses his arms, waiting for another one of your (excuses) retorts and waiting for you to pretend as if everything he does, does not matter to you.

“And everytime I try doing it at your place, you end up stalling and telling me to hang out with Jaemin instead.” You spit, moving aside to grab a seat, the heat of the metal causing you to wince for a quick second before getting accustomed to it.

If only Donghyuck isn't a pain in the ass, then you could've been doing this project peacefully at his dorm; though you realize after years of hanging around with him and the other boys that he is not like that. Donghyuck is of spontaneous, messy schedules that end up seeming as if he has his life down to a t. He can do these things with you anywhere other than mid-practices, but that really doesn't sound like a Donghyuck move to do so.

So, this is what you have to deal with for now.

“Fine then,” he sits beside you by the bleachers, grabbing a quick drink of water before facing you, “What do you want me to do?”

He watches as you turn on your laptop, giving him your notebook in your tote bag and a pencil to write some stuff down. Little do you know, the rest of the team, along with the coach, is giving the captain a strange look; pretending to talk amongst themselves about new game tactics and such, but they instead are just observing your interactions.

Especially since they all know that you both host the new hit podcast around the school. And they all know about the on-mic banters that ensue you both. They briefly wonder if that's all a popularity stunt, a hoax, a marketing plan so you both can get clout, or, if you and Donghyuck actually hate each other.

And seeing how uninterested their captain looks, while you on the other hand look stressed, they assume that whatever the hell your relationship holds with one another, they know that it isn't one that is good.

“I need a new idea for next week.” You start to type on the document that stores all your podcast ideas, Donghyuck just waiting for you to say something that will have to deal with his contribution. “And, I won’t be able to edit this week’s audio. I have to study for a test in my other class, so I was wondering if you can do it just for now?”

You look up from your screen, and you notice that he's holding back a laugh.

“Damn.” Donghyuck nods to himself, drawing scribbles on the notebook for good riddance while you look at him confusingly.

“Huh?”

“This is the first time you’re begging me for help.” He drops the notebook in front of him, propping his hands behind his back on the seat.

His eyes light up when he realizes he's hit another nerve in you.

The shit-eating grin seems to never leave his face, and you can just pull his locks away from his head out of displeasure. You want to wipe off that sickening look on his face, but your annoyance seems to gain him more pleasure. Remind you that he does this all for simple measures — to gain your attention, nothing less, nothing more — and you're just giving it to him.

“I am not ‘begging’ for help, Donghyuck.” The amount of time you have to talk back and answer/correct him for the past few minutes has already started to make your head spin. If only you really could, you would've stuck up the middle finger at him right then and there, but you're desperate, and even if you don't want to admit it, you are begging Lee Donghyuck for help. You sigh, hesitance enlaced in your words, “Listen, if you don’t want to do this. I’ll find a way to do it myself.”

“You talk too much,” this time, he rolls his eyes, placing his hand out, “Just give me the USB. I'll do it.”

Your eyes widened in surprise at how easy this was, “Are you sure?” And you can't blame yourself to think that he might just be pulling a joke on you, and at the final second, that he might pull his hand back and tell you to do this yourself because he needs to work his ass off for the his stupid, upcoming game.

Wait, no. He actually looks serious this time.

“It’s my project too, you know.” He says out loud, exasperated, yet for some reason, you can also hear a tone of reassurance in it. “I have to do something.” 

You almost think he’s a hypocrite for saying such words — and since you're already in this topic, you would like to complain just how group projects are just pure, blissful pain. Period. Because Donghyuck could’ve been doing something this whole time. 

Well, it’s still partially your fault for volunteering to do the majority of the work, but still! Who’s going to do it if it isn’t you? Your trust with group projects doesn’t make your reliance on him any better. At least he’s the professor's second favourite student? Oh. You totally forgot about that.

You look down, smiling at yourself at the amount of stress you're giving to your body and how crazily worried you are, at this point, it’s better to just shake it off. After this day, you make a mental note not to underestimate the man sitting across from you, and maybe, rely on him more often, only if he’s deemed worthy.

“Well, I’m glad you know that.”

You giggle, and Donghyuck’s heart starts slamming out of his chest, taking a breath of relief and shifting on his seat. He’s in a state of bewilderment, almost taken aback that you didn’t scold him this time or tell him that you will punch his face. And he doesn't know how to feel about it.

“Okay,” his voice doesn’t come off as strong as he initially wanted it to, but he’s thankful you’re not paying much attention to it, immersed in your own feelings to worry about his’. “For the next episode, what if you talk about secret admirers, I’m sure there’s a lot of love letters they gave us about that.”

It’s the first idea that pops up in his mind. No clue to how he got that idea. But it works. It makes sense. And probably better than any idea you can think of on the dot. You quickly type it up on your laptop, and you too are surprised at how easy this conversation has been in the end. Well, compared to all the others then yeah.

“Hmm, okay I’ll write that down,” you give him a meek smile before shutting down your laptop, taking the notebook away from Donghyuck and facing away from him to fix your stuff, “Thank you, I guess.”

“Whatever,” he proceeds to stand up, you see his shadow on the ground, and you’re unable to see Donghyuck’s gaze lingering on you a little longer, “I have to go now, coach is calling. Do you need anything else?”

“I’m good now, thanks.” You shrug, glancing up at him for a split second before going back to placing your items back in your bag.

Donghyuck takes one last sip from his water bottle before he walks back to the field, the coach blowing his whistle and everyone rounding to huddle in a circle.

“Wait.” 

Oh my god what are you doing? 

Donghyuck turns back at you, puzzled. “Do you want me to wait for you until practice ends? Jeno and Jaemin are in the car right now, and we’re going somewhere after.” 

His eyes soften, you can feel a weird flutter settling in your belly, having the sudden urge to slap your head at the spontaneity of your question. Donghyuck can assume you probably didn’t mean it at all, and it was just an act of kindness. But he can tell that you're trying. “It’s fine. I might have to do more drills after practice, but I appreciate the offer.”

He wants to say yes, after all, this is the first time you're offering for him to join whatever you, Jaemin and Jeno are up to, but he feels as if you’re just doing it for the sake of being nice. 

What Donghyuck assumes is something far from the truth.

 “No worries.” You tell him it’s fine, and Donghyuck rubs the back of his head, taking a step back awkwardly. Just then, his coach screams out his name from across the area.

He apologizes, before running towards the huddle circle with his team. You watch his demeanour shift during his practice, and you let out a sigh, trying not to over-analyze the whole situation. You stand up, heaving another breath before turning your body to walk to the parking lot.

Donghyuck turns to look if you're still there, but much to his dismay, he sees you figure slowly exiting out his periphery.

Maybe next time, he tells himself. 

If there even is a next time.

EPISODE 4: for lovers who hesitate

Donghyuck reads the set of love letters for the first time during the podcast. After reading through just one of them, he has made a conclusion to never read another one for the remainder of the season, and he will partially — or maybe wholeheartedly — blame it on the way the letter was almost as if it was directed to him. 

It isn’t directed to him, he wishes.

Because he feels awfully attacked by it.

“Dear Romancing…” He follows through, eyes glued to the paper as he reads it aloud in front of the microphone, “I have a friend. He’s a great guy, really, but I sometimes think he’s the dumbest person to have ever existed. He says he doesn’t fall in love. But it looks like he wants to fall in love. And I think that’s really weird because I don’t know what’s stopping him. I hope he listens to this podcast, because I want to knock some sense into him.”

It’s the last sentence that makes his eye unconsciously twitch, sending imaginary daggers to the person who gave the letter because he knows exactly who wrote this. Either it has to be related to the things he said to a certain someone, or he’s just overthinking and this isn’t actually about him. But his gut feeling is telling him it’s about him.

Yeah, you could say that these type of friendships are the ones that are keepers, since they tend to be chaotic yet for a reason, and Donghyuck honestly thinks having friends like that are cool, but when he’s on the receiving end of the slander, he just wants to take his soccer ball and drop kick it to the person’s face.

Because he can imagine the look of amusement on Jeno's face when he placed this letter on the PO box. 

“Oh wow. That’s so cute.” You giggle quietly. Usually Donghyuck would feel some sort of butterflies when hearing it, but he feels more at fear for himself and has no time to give a damn about what you're saying. Because all he cares about is to save face from you. “People who have friends like these are the best. Right, Donghyuck?”

He’s reading the letter quietly one more time, the only thing remotely important at this time is if any part of the piece contains any easter eggs that will show that his roommate (and now-ex-best friend) is the cause of this.

“Hyuck?” You call out his name, turning to see his eyes glued on the piece of paper. 

“Mhm. Yeah. What you said.” You can tell he’s not listening, it’s all evident from his facial reactions. 

“Are you even listening?” You drum your fingers on the desk repeatedly, waiting for Donghyuck’s gaze to shift to you as you raise your tone of voice a little louder. There’s a difference between someone being able to hear a person and someone listening to the person. And you know for a fact Donghyuck can hear you, he literally winced when you spoke up, but the thing is, he’s not paying attention.

“Mhm.” Donghyuck mumbles, if it wasn’t for the podcast currently recording you would’ve easily just grabbed the paper away from him and asked him what’s his problem. But you have to act like a proper civilian here and add even one more droplet in the smallest bottle of patience you have for the boy. 

“So if you were forced to be in a room full of creepy dolls, then you would?” You raise your brow, testing him.

“Mhm.” And he replies immediately. 

The corners of your lips twitch up.

“And if Jaemin asks you to buy him a $100 meal tonight, would you give it to him?” 

“Mhm.” This time, he adds a nod to his answer, nose still up the paper. To that, you let out a snort, glad that this conversation is even recorded in the first place so now people can realize how much of a fool your co-host is. The noise coming from your mouth makes Donghyuck look up, “Wait, what?”

“I think there’s a little birdie in the room that can resonate with this letter.” He gulps at your word, and you feign innocence in front of him, acting as if you didn’t just make him agree to buying a hundred dollar meal for Jaemin, “So… Hyuck… How’s your love life going?”

The taunt in your voice makes him want to add you on his ‘people to drop kick list’, and the way your batting your eyelashes, attempting to keep things at bay at the same time poking fun of his actions, gives him more of a reason not to tell you about his slight attraction for you.

The moment you find out about that, he’s completely, one hundred percent fucked. He doesn’t think the idea of it stroking your ego would be the best. And this idea makes the one hundred dollar meal for Jaemin look more appealing. 

“Shut up.” He mutters underneath his breath, before sliding the love letter across the table. You take it from him and read the words yourself, the smile on your face evident that it will stay there for a while. 

“Okay but really. To whoever sent this letter, I too get confused when people get scared to fall in love. I swear it’s the best feeling ever.” You gush over it, exasperated and talking to the mic, it makes Donghyuck want to barf. He gags when your cheeks heat up at the thought. “Or that’s probably just me being the hopeless romantic that I am, but people are missing out if they hold back with love.”

“At least you admit that you’re hopeless,” he sighs, tempted to slap his palm on his face, but deciding to do so mentally, “It doesn’t hurt to think rationally sometimes.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You give him a look, taken aback at his offense as you fold the letter closed. 

“It means your acting as if being in love is the solution to everybody’s problem.” He’s diving onto an even more sensitive topic over here, and the smile that was evident on your face slowly dissolves with each nasty word coming out of Donghyuck’s mouth. It’s nasty because you know he isn’t wrong, which on your part is a struggle to admit. “Maybe the friend is hesitating because they are scared.”

Donghyuck, ever the realistic one between the both of you, leaves you tongue tied again. Your heart drops at the thought that someone would refrain themself because of fear.

“You’re right…” You swallow the pill in your mouth, feeling some sort of lump in your throat as you search for something— anything from Donghyuck that will make you understand further. “But I don’t get why they would be scared.”

You don’t get why people are scared because you’ve never felt the reason to be scared.

You fall in love because you find you have a reason to, even if you don’t know specifically who or why you like the feeling.

Donghyuck thinks it’s naive for you to think so.

You think it’s heartless for him not to think so.

“I don’t know.” Donghyuck slowly rolls his thoughts off his mouth, shifting on his seat. It doesn’t take him long before he finds the perfect excuse for him and his predicament, something so simple yet effective, and it’s the two sentences that he tells everybody else when they ask him why he doesn’t fall in love. No one gives him follow up questions after he says it, “Maybe they already felt it once. And maybe they don’t like the feeling.”

Donghyuck lets out a quiet breath of relief, assuming that you’ll understand now that he doesn’t want to talk about it. But much to his dismay, your eyes light up instead, concluding that he says his words so vaguely because he wants you to talk to him more about it. No. He doesn’t want that. Sigh. “Have you ever fallen in love before?”

You prop your elbows on the table, curious as ever, and so oblivious. Donghyuck makes a mental note to not read any more of the love letters during the recording. He also makes a mental note to discuss what weekly themes the podcast will talk about before recording sessions, so he won’t act like a complete idiot in the room. Sigh.

“Do you want an honest answer?” He’s hoping you just drop the topic, but he might as well just say it. He might as well just say it in front of the fucking podcast, for thousands of people to hear, for you to hear. Just so you won’t bother him about it again. After all, if you think of him as Mr. Pessimist, you might as well know why.

“Well.. yeah.” Your body tenses up the same time he does this, you almost regret saying you want to know about what happened.

“Then yes. I did. And I think it’s overhyped.” Donghyuck says it firmly, and it gives you a reason to shut up. He doesn’t say anything as well after, and the recording turns dead. You conclude the podcast with an awkward chuckle, a meek apology to your co-host for being so nosy, while his jaw is clenched and his heart is at closed doors.

When you leave the studio that day, you take along with you new knowledge about Lee Donghyuck. Firstly, he might potentially have a hopeless heart. And that hopeless heart started to become a little too literal till it finally crushed him into pieces. The idea terrifies you. Mainly because you have a hopeless heart right now. And you wonder what would happen if you were in his shoes. 

Secondly, Lee Donghyuck fell in love once. And you briefly wonder who that person is, before wondering why they would break his heart. Truth be told, Donghyuck is a decent man to an extent, and you wonder why they would make him feel this way.

You walk back home with a messy recording ready to be edited, and Donghyuck walks home with a shard of glass running down his body; pissed and anxious. He feels the vibrations of his phone, and it doesn’t make his mood better, but at the same time, it doesn’t make it worse.

[2 messages from Jeno to Hot Boy Shit]: so… how was the recording? did you like what i sent? *smirks*

[2 messages from Jaemin to Hot Boy Shit]: wait whats happening lol ive just got a text from bestie that you owe me a 100$ meal ?!

[2 messages from Donghyuck to Hot Boy Shit]: nah fuck you  both of you

EPISODE 5: past and present roads collide

Donghyuck comes home to a lot of things.

He comes home from the sight of Jeno doing his marketing homework, papers sprawled in the middle of the dining table while his oversized hoodie gets the best of his body. 

He can also come home from Jaemin’s failed attempts at baking, the weird smell of something burning seeping through the air, and him fanning a cloth over the smoke detector just so it won’t alarm.

Honestly, it’s safe to say he’s seen a lot of things when he comes home, whether it be something so simple, or something so questionable. This is his small ball of a constant, and him being a strong advocate of habit, he thinks this is all part of routine.

But there he is, coming home from soccer practice, his headband pulling back some parts of his hair away from his face, and he sees a sight he’s not accustomed to (Spoiler: it’s not you, because that sight of you is something that's already been part of his constant).

In other words, Donghyuck thinks he’s seen it all, seen so many oddities in the past years of being roommates with two fools, there will be nothing that phases him.

Or so he thought.

“Congratulations!” 

Because there goes Jaemin with a light pink party hat, standing by the front door of the apartment, holding up a banner alongside Jeno that says the exact words that elicit out of his mouth. It’s ten past seven, and Donghyuck was expecting to come home and take a fat nap, but he looks at the sight in front of him, and tries so hard not to drop his duffel bag on the floor in awe.

“Awe, what’s with the face? Do you not like it?” The enthusiasm in Jaemin’s face drops, and although Donghyuck doesn’t like seeing him being the killoy of all this, he genuinely can’t understand why there is an all of a sudden surprise party. He looks around, and there are faces here that he is more so familiar with, like yours, and some others he sees passing in the hallways.

“What is happening… is it someone’s birthday?” Donghyuck rubs the back of his head, awkwardly chuckling. He tries to look around the room if there’s any clues to the occasion, and he is completely aware that it’s neither anyone he’s close to having a birthday around this time… so?

Jeno steps forward, grabbing Donghyuck’s sports equipment, placing it on the corner of the room and proceeding to take off the boy’s headband, replacing it with the same designed party hat as Jaemin’s, “You know how you reached 10k listeners the other day? Yeah, Jaemin wanted to celebrate.” 

He points to your figure, who is busy interacting with a group of first years. You look like you don’t mind the party, and he pulls the tiniest form of a smile when he sees you laughing over something the girl beside you said. The party hat on your head looks like you’ve a unicorn puked over your head. He wonders if you know how much of an idiot you look with it.

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s lips part, turning back to his two roommates, he doesn’t really know why they decide to host a party over something like this. But you know, they are college kids and uh— Jaemin will find every reason to party, even if it means celebrating the amount of clout you and him gained over the podcast.

“I swear to god, Hyuck. If you don’t show enthusiasm I will kick you out of this house.” Jaemin squints his eyes, his arms dropping, tired from holding up the banner and waiting for a decent reaction to come out of Donghyuck. Don’t be mistaken though, he’s lowkey touched by this celebration, because the boys always take the time to accomplish him with any milestone he’s reached, he’s just in awe. 

Who even knew that he had the luck to get such roommates? He’s so starstruck, to the point he can even formulate the proper words, but apparently Jaemin thinks the opposite.

“No, no. It’s wonderful, I’m just shocked.” There’s something about this that Donghyuck finds so fucking endearing after each passing second, because when he looks around the room more, he sees a small cake in the middle of the table, and if he listens closely, he can hear the speakers blaring the recordings of his podcast (but let’s be real, Donghyuck hates to hear the sound of his voice).

Donghyuck pats his friends’ back as his gesture of a thank you, and takes off his shoes slowly.

The two boys move out of the way so Donghyuck can see the commotion they’ve done. You turn away from the first years you’re talking to and do a double take when you see Donghyuck finally home from practice, and Jaemin takes this as his cue to leave, “Okay, then. We’ll be playing Monopoly in Jeno’s room if you’ll be looking for us.” 

“I won’t,” he jokes around, but when he peaks through Jeno’s bedroom and sees five more people trying to fit in there just to play that game, his words might be truer than he supposes. He cringes at the sight, before making his way to you. 

“Well you seem grumpy in this fine evening,” you call out, watching as Donghyuck approaches you with ease, giving a head nod to the people he is familiar with, and pausing to stop in front of you, “Who am I kidding, you always look grumpy.”

He gives you a look, before clearing his throat. “Y/N.”

The way he says your name stiffly makes you scrunch your nose in disgust. And Donghyuck too crunches his face in disgust when he’s up close, next to you. You reek of alcohol. But you don’t look like you're getting tipsy, maybe give it a few more minutes, but the looming smell surrounding you explains why you’re easily talking to Donghyuck. 

You hold out your bottle of alcohol and offer it to him, as if you guys are friends sharing a drink. “Here, drink this. It will help you loosen up.” The group of first-years move to a different spot in the house, maybe to get a drink from the kitchen, who knows, but for Donghyuck, he hesitantly takes the drink from you.

“Thank you.” He takes a sip from your cup, a small smile forming on your face when he doesn’t bother to hesitate — you repeat, as if you guys are friends taking a drink. You both know this won’t happen again, not unless you're sober. “Congratulations by the way, to us, that is.”

“Can you at least not sound dead when you say it?” You giggle, and Donghyuck awkwardly chuckles, chugging down another sip of the drink and facing away so you won’t study his reactions.

Donghyuck made a terrible mistake by doing that. 

Just when Donghyuck is ready to loosen up and have fun at the party dedicated to him, he sees two figures he’s been trying to avoid since senior year of high school. 

And he has no idea which one of the people in the room concluded that they have the audacity to bring these two here as their plus… two. 

Two years of not seeing them. To be specific, two years, seven months and three days, but who’s counting? Definitely not Donghyuck. 

He mutters curse words underneath his breath, and you’re too busy talking about how many streams the podcast reached and how much pride you take in doing so, but Donghyuck honestly is not listening. The second time he’s done that to you in the past month. Somewhat the same reason — or same context — because he feels so bothered looking at the sight right across from him.

Your back is facing it, continuing to ramble on and on, all while Donghyuck feels his heart just pondering just as his mind unlocks a distant memory. 

“You good?” You finally look up at his face, and realize the wrinkles on his forehead from frowning. Before Donghyuck can get further welled up by the sight, he turns right at you, and musters up the fakest smile possible. You reek of alcohol, so he hopes you don’t sense this facade he’s putting up. 

“Yeah uh, I just need to g—” his words trails off, before glance at the sight of the girl he onced loved, and once of his best friends in high school, looking at each other like they are so in love. He wants to scoff at it, he wonders if they even know that they’re doing such an act at his home. 

And he asks himself, again: who the hell invited these two?

He’s not mad. Because it doesn’t feel like his blood is boiling, instead it feels like it’s turning cold.

“What are you looking at?” As you turn your head back, curious to the cause of the boy’s suspicious behaviour, he sees the two, observing an interaction between the two that just shows that they are a happy couple before turning back to Donghyuck, who’s not fully chugging the rest of the alcohol in the cup. “I—? Um— Mark?”

“You know him?” Donghyuck looks at you, tilting his head, clearly flustered and confused. 

“Yes, he was in one of my classes last sem,” you explain to him, taking one more glance at the two, “I’m guessing that’s his girlfriend.”

The word girlfriend makes him wince. His heart tries to get accustomed to the title, and he hates how the cup in his hands is empty. He can’t drown those sorrows away. 

“Yeah…” Donghyuck sighs, he feels helpless. Which is weird, because he rarely feels helpless, and all of a sudden it’s all crashing down on him.

You can tell something is up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask, grabbing the empty cup in his hand and walking towards the area with the drinks, refilling it for him because you almost feel bad.

He leans his body on the wall, amused at your observations. “Woah. Did I just hear that right?” 

“Huh?” You hand him back his cup, and he chuckles.

“Last time I checked, you don’t care about me.” He calls you out, in a light tone, not spiteful. His almond eyes continue to regard you with keen interest as you tempt yourself away from slapping his arm.

“Shut up.” You mutter angrily, but soften up to him when he spares another glance at Mark and his girlfriend. It’s the fact that he is acting like this matter isn’t making him feel some type of way, while his eyes tell a different story. 

“But really, do you want to talk about it?” Look, this will be the only time you’ll feel empathetic towards him. (It’s the alcohol in your system that makes you talk to him like this. That’s all.)

But it’s enough to make Donghyuck try to forget. He shrugs, lips forming into a thin smile. “I’m good.”

“No. You’re not.” You say as if you’re talking to a child, causing another sigh to escape his lips. The small persistent nature in you has been making Donghyuck say too much about himself to you, and he doesn’t know why he keeps on word vomiting such vulnerable parts of his life. To you. 

And he knows it’s not your pretty (cool) privilege that he has for you.

“Remember that one podcast episode, when I told you I fell in love with someone?” You nod, remembering it clearly because the idea of Donghyuck — the boy who doesn’t fall in love — actually falling in love has been living in your mind for the past few days. “I liked Yeri before, That’s Mark’s girlfriend.”

He swirls his drink, taking another aggressive chug before moving his gaze at the two. The more he keeps on glancing at them, he thinks it will make the pain less, since he’ll start getting accustomed to it. But the more he sees how in love they are — how in love his old best friend is, the pain he tries to subside doesn’t get easier. 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” He glances at you, and you try to reassure him. But he doesn’t know why you're sorry. You don’t know why you’re sorry. It’s not your fault Donghyuck's life has gone to this. He chose to love, and though he once understood how much of a beautiful thing it could be, he refuses to do so again. It’s not your fault he feels this way. It’s his. He doesn’t know why you’re saying those words.

And he doesn’t like that you’re saying those words. Because you of all people don't know how it feels to be heartbroken like this. 

He won’t despise you for it, though. After all, he once knew how it felt like, and he won’t take that away from you, nor place the negative emotions penting in his body towards you. “It’s no worries, you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

If he thinks about it, he’s thankful that you’re here. It makes the fog trafficking his thoughts subtly clearer. 

And you try to change the topic. To make the atmosphere between the both of you lighter. It’s a party dedicated to a milestone you both reached, and it would be foolish if you spend the rest of the night worrying about what could have been. You pat Donghyuck’s shoulder awkwardly, yet with sentiment, and it’s enough for him to forget.

“By the way, there’s cupcakes in the refrigerator. Don’t worry, I baked it this time. If you need it, you can take the whole batch.” You gesture to the kitchen, and your head starts spinning when you take a step forward.

It’s the way you barely drink. Oh god.

“You’re being awfully kind to me,” Donghyuck looks down at your figure, taking a hold of your hand before you accidentally tip forward. It’s his first time making contact with your skin, and his heart — from being so stone cold — warms up at the thought.

“At least I’m not being a pain in the ass this time, you're welcome.” The corners of his lips tug up when you try to compose yourself. This is much better than being a heartbroken fool at your own party.

“You’re so drunk.” He grins when you swat his arm away from his hold. 

Who knew, huh.

From the corner of his eye, he can feel someone’s gaze lingering his way, but he’s too busy to notice. 

“No I’m not. I only drank half a bottle.” You argue back, trying to keep a firm stance but your voice starts to slur. As you try to explain yourself, Donghyuck takes the party hat off his head and swipes his hair back. Oh. 

“So you’re lightweight?” Though he tries to refuse the delight creeping up his way at your drunken state, Donghyuck can’t help to feel at glee, especially after seeing you just gulp down harshly, unknowingly keeping eye contact with him for longer than the normal.

You look away immediately when he smirks. “No no no. I’m alright. It will take an awful lot of effort for the alcohol to do its job, I’ll be alright.” Your words and actions say two different things, and when you take one more step, your mind suddenly faces some difficulties.

These difficulties come in the form of you almost tripping over air, and Donghyuck having to grab a hold of your wrist, you throwing your body at him, and him scoffing at you for it.

“If you say so…” He most likely drank more than you with his two complete chugged down drinks, yet here you are, looking like a complete idiot. As always. If he can, he would declare it as your brand.

“Yes. And let’s get some of my cupcakes and go play Monopoly with the others.” You finally reach the kitchen, and Donghyuck props his weight on the counter with an eyebrow raised, watching you (try to) open the fridge. 

“Who said I want to do that?” He does not want to play Monopoly with the boys in that sweaty room. 

“You want to stay here and watch those two lovebirds?” Even when you're intoxicated, you still find a way to say smart things, and Donghyuck hates that for you. He doesn’t glance back this time. 

“So… cupcakes?”

Monopoly it is.

Donghyuck moves towards you and then beside you, helping you take out the batch of cupcakes after seeing you struggle to get it yourself. The proximity makes the butterflies in your stomach do some flips, re: you’re drunk and you won’t think of this while you're sober. 

But while you’re still not-sober, you turn your head to face him, realizing your faces are inches apart from each other’s. He gives you an endearing beam, and that not-sober mind of yours makes a pact that smiling looks better on Donghyuck than a frown, and you’ll do whatever it takes to see it again.

Re: you’re drunk.

EPISODE 06: the rise of secret admirers

Lee Donghyuck does not fall in love, but maybe there could be a few exceptions.

“Okay so I will pick out our fifth love letter of the day… again, by natural selection.” You try to joke around, but your attempts to do so ends up in the trash when the boy across from you rolls his eyes. And you shoot him a sarcastic grin back at him out of impulse.

With Donghyuck, there’s bound to be endless banter from left to right, no matter how much progress the both of you made to try and cross the line between being in each other throats to finally having a decent form of friendship, all costs and efforts are lost the moment one of you open your mouths to say something to the other.

“Please. If you’re just going to laugh at me, why don’t you say something interesting instead.” You wail in frustration, throwing your rough script up in the air hopelessly. Being a comedian has never been your strong suit. “We need content. And I’m the only one giving proper content to the media.”

“Excuse me for being a prude,” Donghyuck straightens his posture on the chair, staring right at you as he speaks, “But I have made my fair share of top tier content for this podcast. You just don’t have the humor to think mine are okay.”

“No. Shut up.” You grumble.

And he puts up a taunting grin, “You’re just mad that I’m right.” He begins to tease, voice echoing with rich velvet and mirth, “And watch your language, we’re recording.”

“College kids listen to this, not elementary kids. I think I’m allowed to swear.” You fire back. There are so many things tempting to come out of your mouth, but the evident distaste in your features leave him with pure entertainment. He’s such a hypocrite, because you know that in the next few seconds, he’ll probably blurt out some foul language that is much more inappropriate than your simple ‘shut up.’

You continue to stare down at him, sending daggers at Donghyuck’s way and him easily dodging each one. 

“Just read the goddamn letter.” See? What did you say?

After that night, the night where you treated Donghyuck as if he was a friend — someone that can lean on your shoulder when times get tough, he seems to search for the version of you through the days following. But the more the both of you keep firing fire in the pit, he slowly wishes that he never associated with you in the first place. Because you are a pain.

You are so intolerable. 

He doesn’t even know why he likes you.

“Dear Romancing, I’m the friend that got called out the last time. The one that doesn’t fall in love. I don’t know, it’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t think I’m ready.” You begin reading another letter from the pile, but this specific one causes Donghyuck to freeze. He forgot he wrote that out of impulse.

Let’s see. How shall we explain this? So to keep a long story short, he did it for a variety of reasons that absolutely make no sense, but if they had to come down to the top three, most rational, valid explanations it would be because of Jeno’s peer pressure, content for the podcast, and seeing your reaction without directly asking it from you. 

It’s like a beta; to see how you would present yourself in this type of situation, and how you’ll handle it, so Donghyuck will know what to do when he himself introduces his not-so-loving self to you. He wants to see if you can teach him to fix it.

But he can’t imagine that the letter — out of the hundred others in the mail — that this one would be the lucky draw. If he calculated correctly, then the chances of his letter being read out loud would be lower than the acceptance rate of Harvard. 

This says a lot about his fate, because if you think about it, Donghyuck is one lucky bastard.

Your eyes blink at the paper, forming sparkles as it moves across the sheet. He hopes that the look on your face is a good thing. “But there’s this girl. And even though she can be an ass sometimes, it just feels nice to be around her. But I don’t want to admit that.”

As you repeat the words written, the tone of your voice can depict your excitement. And if only the both of you were filming a Youtube Video instead of recording the podcast, the audience would be able to witness how bad your cheeks are heating up. You think it’s absolutely cute how the person sending the letter is able to find exceptions in his stance.

At the same time, the boy across from you contemplates on how oblivious you are, because there’s a complete set of puzzles set in front of you, and you still haven’t pieced any of the dots together.

“Now this is content.” You chide delightfully, enthralled that there even is a part two to this specific love-advice-story. Everybody, say thank you to Donghyuck for this.

“Damn.” He comments quietly; nibbling his bottom lip to refrain from word vomiting.

“Mr. Guy That Doesn’t Fall In Love, let me just say one thing, because I have a feeling you already know what you're feeling inside.” You beam, sitting on the edge of your office chair as you clear your throat. “If you feel happy with that girl, it’s most likely you’re making the girl happy too.”

His eyes widen. 

What the fuck.

“What type of advice is that?” When Donghyuck bursts, you look back at him with an unphased expression, shrugging at him because you know that what you said is correct.

This is not what he was expecting from you. He expected something along the lines of ‘aS a hOpeLeSs rOmAnTic, i tHinK yOu sHouLd gO fOr iT,’ then that could give him a sense of validation that falling love wouldn’t be so bad. But… this?

You tell him that you won’t say anything because you apparently know what he’s already going to say… and you end up giving him reassurance about giving each other happiness…? 

What does that even mean—!

“It’s great advice. Better than what you can think of.” You commend yourself with great honour at the piece of advice you gave; Donghyuck thinks it’s pure bull. It keeps him in place, it reminds him why he doesn’t fall in love with people because they too don’t know how to properly explain why it would be so great to do so. 

But at the same time, though he utterly, unquestionably, undoubtedly thinks that sending in this letter is such a waste of time, now that you have given him one of the worst replies — and those words only start with the letter ‘u’, there’s much more where he comes from — it still lifts some sort of weight. It did jackshit, but nevertheless, it made Donghyuck somewhat better. Just a little bit.

He feels so conflicted.

“You said something?” Donghyuck pretends to be deafened, holding up his hands to cup his ears.

“Get out of here.” You groan, attempting to ignore Donghyuck as you make an effort to give the patron the advice they are looking for, “But Mr. Guy That Doesn’t Fall In Love, if you feel something towards someone, don’t stop yourself. Don’t be like Donghyuck. Look at him now, he’s a miserable motherfucker.”

At that Donghyuck looks at you in disbelief, crescents in his eyes forming, and though he tries not to show it, he thinks that that was one of the best things you’ve said all day. Even when the ridiculing is directed to him. It made him smile.

“Cute.” 

Donghyuck’s pretty sure he said that in his mind. Not out loud. But when you look at him, taken aback, he flutters his eyes shut and wishes he can erase himself from the embarrassment. You perk up, and he knows you won’t let this off the hook.

“Thank you, I know I am.” You over-exaggerate how flattered you are, flipping your hair dramatically and straightening your posture. Deep inside, you still feel flattered, but by acting over the top, it makes it seem like your heart isn’t failing on you at this moment. But it is.

This is the art of sarcasm, and it has given you a whole lot of perks. 

“I wasn’t talking about you.” He tries to take back what he said, but it’s already engraved in your mind. 

You lean forward to the table, “Then what are you referring to as cute? The guy in the letter?” 

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Donghyuck has reached peak humiliation, and he doesn’t know why he can’t just embrace his slip up and act like the charismatic guy he is towards other people. It’s your fault he’s like this. It’s your fault everyone will find out how whipped he is for you the moment this podcast episode goes live. 

He wonders why he can’t act normal toward you, why he can’t ever do his almost-playboy antics— but it’s you. He uses this as another opportunity to learn something about you. And it is exactly how hard it is to figure out who you really are that keeps his interest levels high. He could go whipped for any other person, he is the star soccer player on campus, but his dumbass-of-a-brain chose you. 

“Loser.” You voice out Donghyuck’s thoughts about himself. Because he’s starting to slowly admit how much of a loser he is. And it’s all your fault. 

EPISODE 7: the first-first kiss

Slowly but surely, Donghyuck starts to admit that he is going through a free fall. Well, not really a free fall because there would be air resistance — the air resistance being his metaphorical refusal that he is indeed going down. And if this version of Donghyuck told the version of him several days ago that he will one day admit this calling, past Donghyuck would not take it well.

But here he is now, grasping in the atmosphere of his defeat; he almost feels like those Ancient Gods that carry the weight of losing an important battle, but he doesn’t know which one specifically because he hasn’t taken any world history courses. 

Lee Donghyuck has hit rock bottom with his relationship with you. He is like a lost puppy, a clown embarrassing himself in his own circus, a shrivelled up leaf on the sidewalk, and every other comparable item that he can think of on the top of his head. 

So when he looks up at the ceiling, he acts as if all the answers could be found there, throwing and catching the soccer ball in his hands as he lies down on the couch as another awful sigh escapes his lips. He can hear your voice inside his head spewing out nonsense. Honestly, you’ve been living in his mind for a while now and could ask you to pay for the rent you’ve been occupying. 

He’s immersed in his own thoughts, that he has forgotten that you are actually here, and he can hear your voice. And it’s not the voice that he’s imagining. “Can you stop sighing, it’s getting annoying.” 

Donghyuck catches the ball with his hands, holding it firmly before proceeding to turn his head to your voice. When he looks at you, he’s faced with the wrath of your dead face, seeming as if you’ve been sick and tired of his noises of complaint, that he isn’t aware he’s doing. It’s the way you have your arms folded, waiting for him to do something, as you sit on the floor by the coffee table with your laptop in front of you with a bored expression that makes him sigh even louder. 

“Why are you even here?” He sits up, leaning his back on the cushions and mirroring the expression on your face, “Aren’t you done tutoring Jaemin?”

“Yeah. But is there something wrong with me staying here?” You interrogate him, and he just closes his eyes in despair. Does he want to deal with this right now? Not really. 

Here we go again. “If you’re wondering why I’m still here. I’m going to make those Dalgona Coffee things that’s everywhere on Tiktok with Jeno. I’ve been dying to make them, and Nana did not want to do them with me. He says it’s too messy—” 

You stop your rant abruptly when you realize that Donghyuck has been staring at you quietly. He’s nit-picking one of the pieces of loose thread on the throw pillow, and even listening to you, which is to your surprise.

“Oh?” He tilts his head when you quit mid-sentence, waiting for you to continue on, but instead you shake your head, shifting closer to the coffee table and typing away on your laptop.

“I went on a tangent, my bad.” You purse your lips, and you still feel the weight of his eyes directed towards your face. 

He feels his heart soften at how casual you are just seconds ago. All while you feel hues of crimson taint your cheeks, bashful at your passionate ramble about coffee. “And you didn’t try to ask me?”

You tilt your head up, eyes churning to see Donghyuck with a grin on his face, which causes you to furrow your eyebrows, “Because you’re going to say no?”

“You never know. I could’ve joined you.” You’re pretty sure this is all talk; last time you checked, you and Donghyuck never did something together voluntarily. 

“But knowing you, if you did join me, I would’ve probably thrown all the ingredients at you in less than five minutes because you would make me mad. Plus, Jeno seems like he’s actually down to do them with me. You’d probably feel forced to do it.” You take note that you’re rambling again, and you want to slap your forehead for it.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep kicking in your system, because that always has been bringing you to do this you won’t usually do on the norm (I.e. talking to Donghyuck properly), of course other than drinking alcohol, that also makes you do weird shit. 

But you're making the coffee with Jeno later in the evening, most likely around 11pm, since he needs to use the caffeine to stay up for his Marketing assignment. That’s still in a few hours, though.

“Wait. Do you perhaps have any fever patches?” You shut your laptop and ask. 

Donghyuck is taken aback by it, eyes slightly bulging out of his head from worry (but you don’t know that), “Are you sick?”

“No,” you trail off, rubbing the back of your head meekly, “I’m just getting really sleepy and I need to stay awake.” You don’t explain further to him, you don’t need to. But he finds that there’s a certain level of oddity at your proposition. 

Remembering that one kdrama Jaemin indulged in around a year ago — where the guy placed a fever patch on his forehead during a midnight study session, because the coolness kept the guy awake — Donghyuck nods in acquiesce, not bothering to question if those things actually work. 

That’s probably why Jeno once bought a whole stash of them one time, “Okay, lemme get them. I’m sure there’s some in the bathroom.” He gets up and pats down his shirt before proceeding to get the fever patches.

You fidget and tap on the surface of the desk while waiting for Donghyuck to come back, yawning shamelessly and shaking your head furiously to remove all the sleepy jitters trying to crawl your skin. From your periphery, you can see him coming back with a fresh box of the item you asked, speculating it before diverting his eyes to you.

He stops in front of you, kneeling down to level himself alongside and letting you watch as he rips open the packaging. “Oh. Thanks.” You try to grab it from him, but he pulls his arm back.

Wait, what.

As you try to grab the fever patch from him, he preps it and holds the edges of the square with both his hands, making sure he doesn’t touch the sticky part. “I’ll put it on you.”

“There’s no need— oh.” Donghyuck shifts his weight, leaning forward as he takes off the grasp of one side of the patch to tuck your hair back behind your ear. Your breath hitches when you take note that his body is inches away from yours. 

He delicately swipes back more strands of hair before aligning the patch straight on your forehead, rubbing it with his thumb softly to ensure it won’t fall off. You look up at him, seeing that he’s focused on putting it properly. This is probably the closest you’ve seen Donghyuck.

“I must say, you don’t look that bad up close.” You comment, Donghyuck feeling your breath hit his skin, and his lips twitch up. The way you’re studying him gives him the sole reason why the butterflies are fluttering in his stomach.

“It’s good that you know that, Princess.” He smirks, finally mustering up the courage to bolden up, just to cover up the fact that he is clearly flustered at where you both are positioned. He wonders where this energy has gone a few days ago.

“Not the nickname again.” You cry, letting out a huff before pushing him away from you. He’s still sitting in front of you, and there’s an evident glint in his eye. “Nevermind what I said earlier, sometimes your face looks very punchable.”

“Oh, really?” He tests you, lifting up one of his eyebrows. 

“Yes. Really.” You squeak, looking down at the carpet with a smile, but as your gaze diverts back to him, you can suddenly feel a lump in your throat when he looks right back at you. His eyes pierce into you, as if he’s searching for something in the stars of your own set, “Donghyuck, what are you doing?”

You awkwardly clear your throat. 

“Looking at you.” He says straightforwardly, and the way he’s still looking at you sends shivers down your back. Donghyuck notices the effect it has, and it makes the crescent of his lip more apparent, “Why? Am I not allowed to?”

“It feels weird.” You reply truthfully, wanting to bury your head in a hole or maybe run to the opposite end of the country just to avoid this contact. It’s leaving brushes of shimmer against your skin, and you don’t particularly know how to feel about it.

“May I know why it feels weird?” He waits for an answer, so confidently, as if he wants to challenge you. 

“You better stop what you're doing.” As you warn him, it only makes him more satisfied, more bold.

“But you said I don’t look bad up close.” There’s a tone of mockery enlaced in his voice, trying to reach and copy the same tone of your voice, only to end up pitches higher as he pouts. The way Donghyuck’s eyeing your lips don’t go unnoticed and your eyes unknowingly rests on his as well, “Don’t tell me you regret saying it. That would be unlike you.”

“Shut. Up.” You say through gritted teeth, looking at him through your lashes as your heart continues to beat rapidly. It’s so intense, you swear if Donghyuck is paying attention to it, he would be able to hear it synchronizing with his own heart. 

He looks back up at your eyes, only to catch you staring at his lips.

“Make me.”

Before neither of you can take back the situation, his lips smash against yours.

You don’t even know who decided to finish the act, whether it be you or him, because he asked you to do it, but you don’t know if Donghyuck was impatient and just did it a millisecond before you. But there are goosebumps rising on your skin when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss; his lips finding solace in yours, it just feels so sweet. 

You don’t even know if you're doing it correctly, but Donghyuck makes it so that your stomach knots harder and unravels quickly again, a bloom blooming throughout your chest as you relax under his touch. 

If he’s being honest, he’s always associated a pair’s first kiss as something so over romanticized. Because he’s never felt that way before. And he would always scoff at the idea of first kisses feeling like fireworks or warm vanilla. He doesn’t know how to describe this one. But he knows it feels right. 

Donghyuck doesn’t fall in love, but if this, if this is what it feels like to fall in love; the one that you won’t ever shut up about, then maybe he wouldn’t mind it at all.

Because maybe he’s growing fond of the idea. 

EPISODE 8: shoot your shot

“And there we have it, Lee Donghyuck scores another goal!”

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Neither of you talk about The Incident for the next few days and you’re thankful Donghyuck doesn’t taunt you for it nor bring it up. If you think about it, it might be better this way. It’s just as if that distinct memory you shared with Donghyuck by the coffee table banished right after it happened, and you blame it for your sleep deprivation that it even happened because having lack of sleep should be able to make you irrationally kiss the boy you would never think of kissing. Yeah. Totally.

At least Jaemin, or Jeno, did not see whatever that was. If they did, you would’ve hid in the closet for the rest of your lifetime. But they didn’t. And that’s all that matters. 

Which is why when the two boys drag you to one of Donghyuck’s soccer games — as their means of being supportive to their roommate, as well as to drag you out of your dorm to get some sunlight — they don’t act differently towards you, and they don’t interrogate you about the status of your relationship with Donghyuck. Because they don’t know what happened. 

Unbeknownst to Donghyuck, he doesn’t know that you will watch his game. Especially since you never even bother to participate in watching any of the sports games held around campus, so he believes that he has the liberty act however he pleases, just because a specific pair of eyes, that belong to you, isn’t watching him. And it’s doing him hella justice. 

Or so he thinks.

“He looks so cool.” Jeno says through the food he’s eating, leaning forward on his seat to get a better view of the game while there are spots of ketchup and mustard left on the corner of his lip from the hotdog.

You raise your head to get a better view of Donghyuck, finally spotting him as his brown locks are pulled back by a headband as he jogs from one end of the field to the other. His tongue is slightly sticking out as he runs with the ball, eyes following it attentively and glancing up to see where his opponents are going.

As you carefully take a bite of your hotdog, you focus your periphery on the main action on the field, seeing the ball fly up in the air towards Donghyuck’s direction, before it lands on the ground a few metres away from his foot. You realize that there aren't a lot of people with the ball other than Donghyuck, and when he sprints to it, there are multiple opposing players trying to take the ball away from him or stopping him from getting closer to the ball.

He slides past them like it’s such an easy feat to do so, and the crowd goes wild when Donghyuck makes a successful long-distance pass, kicking it to one of his teammates before it reaches the other team’s goal.

“Oh my god, did you see that?” Jaemin stands up next to you in excitement, turning momentarily to see your reactions with an awe-struck one laid on his face. 

“Yes, Nana. We saw it.” You chuckle, shaking your head with a smile before shifting at your spot once more to find the best view to the game, since there are so many heads in front of yours and the three of you came to the stadium with half the seats already filled.

As you jerk your head to follow the ball, you see the backs of two familiar figures, pointing at the game and clapping just like everybody else is. 

“Is that Mark and his girlfriend? Over there, look.” You point your lips to the two, nudging Jeno’s side so he can look at where you are looking. He snaps his neck and widens his eyes when he recognizes Mark and Yeri.

He then turns to you in question, “Yeah. What about them?”

“I don’t know. Donghyuck told me something before.” You shrug, lifting your shoulders. 

“Wait. He told you?” Jeno purses his lips, before a knowing smile slowly forms in his face, thinking the most out of the situation. “I didn’t know you were close like that.”

“I don’t think we are? It was a one time thing.” You answer honestly, a nervous chuckle coming out of your throat as you avoid the way Jeno is staring down at you. He scoffs in disbelief, and when Jaemin is finished cheering, he sits back down and joins the conversation, leaning his body to hear what you two are saying.

“I’m surprised that it’s only a one time thing, since you guys have been spending a lot of time together the past few weeks.” Jeno confesses, which makes Jaemin nod furiously as he adds on. “I think you’ve been spending more time with him than me.”

Your gaze shifts back and forth at the two boys, tongue tied because you don’t know how to reply to that. The fact that they are stating this out of the blue, in the middle of a freaking soccer game, makes you want to cough out the hotdog you're eating. 

They might be right about that, how you’ve been spending the past few weeks a little more than your liking with Donghyuck; but them of all people should know that you’re only doing so because of reasons that include everything along the lines of ‘podcast assignment’ or ‘mutual friends’. 

Your heart races at the idea, and when you can feel Jaemin and Jeno waiting for your next move, you suddenly just want to break out in cold sweat. 

What makes you even more terrified, is that you’ve only realized now that you stopped complaining about Donghyuck to Jaemin. 

“Go, Hyuck!” The girls sitting behind you scream out loud, causing you to flinch while the two boys jerk their heads to see why the crowd is suddenly getting hyped up. You let out a huff of relief when they finally quit the curiosity towards your relationship with Donghyuck, and now moved to the game instead. 

But your half-second calmness is immediately replaced with a new problem.

Because as you decide to see the commotion, and why everyone is starting to cheer for the captain (yet, again), his eyes land where you are sitting. He notices you. He looks down at the ball for a second before turning back to you, and it causes you to freeze at your spot.

Everyone around you is cheering loudly, some of them even standing up from their position in enthusiasm. Donghyuck grins smugly and looks back at you, pointing his index finger in your direction that has several fellow watchers trying to find who he was exactly pointing to. Your cheeks start to heat up when Jaemin’s jaw drops and looks at you in disbelief.

“Holy shit. Donghyuck has never done that before. You saw that, right?” Jaemin says in excitement, his lips curving up the slightest as it replays in his mind. “Y/N. What the fuck. He’s fucking flirting with you.”

Oh no.

“He was just pointing at me. I don’t know what that means.” You lie. You have an idea what it means, but trying to admit it will only make you feel even more flustered, so it’s better that you avoid it and play dumb.

“He just straight up dedicated his next shot to you. Come on, Y/N. Did you not find that cute?” Jaemin tries to get something out of you, but you don’t bulge; your eyes are still on the game, Donghyuck gets the goal in and the yells from around you helps you ignore the crazy thumping in your chest.

Yes you find it cute. Nobody’s ever done that to you before. Donghyuck’s never done that to you before. Now shut up before you start feeling some type of way.

“Oh, please. He’s probably done this to other girls. It’s not that serious.” You shake your head, trying to get your mind out of the gutter. You’re trying to remember that Donghyuck and you still despise each other, but you begin to take knowledge of the little things that are changing in this relationship. 

“I’d beg to differ.” Jeno smirks, leaning back in his seat with amusement taunting his iris’. You turn your head with a frown. 

“Shut up, let’s just watch this game.” Jeno laughs, shaking his head at your denial. 

“What if Donghyuck likes you?” Jaemin gasps at the sudden idea he’s thought of, proud at the on-the-go assumption he’s made, while you look at him disappointingly. “Come on. Don’t give me that look. It was like he was dedicating his next score for you.”

“Jaemin.” You warn him, and he lets out a giggle. 

“Look at that. Someone’s blushing.” Jeno pokes your shoulder teasingly. You should’ve never allowed them to bring you to the game if this is what they were going to do.

“Jeno.” You say through gritted teeth, and you don’t miss the way the two boys bump their fist together behind you.

“So you like him.” They say as a statement instead of a question. You wonder why they are so convinced you like him, because you haven’t done anything to make them think in such a way. Well, unless Donghyuck told them about the kiss— if he did, you would whoop his ass. You suddenly think back to the time Jaemin noted to you that you and Donghyuck seem to have ‘chemistry’ while recording the podcast, and you don’t know if he’s taken those words to heart.

“I don’t like him. And he doesn’t like me. It’s as simple as that.” You make an attempt to sound strong and firm, but your words come out as a mere squeak. 

If anything, you’d like to say Donghyuck has turned into a friend. That’s only if you’re willing to call him such, because the past few weeks prove to you that he really isn’t as bad as you suppose. But you don’t like him, you swear. Maybe.

“If you say so.” They drop the conversation, since there’s still a game you have to focus on.

You don’t even understand why you’re getting affected by this; last time you checked, you and Donghyuck don’t share the same values. He doesn’t fall in love. And you want to fall in love. But if you fall in love with someone who doesn’t, then it won’t do you any good. But what if he’s changed? But what if—

“30 seconds on the clock.” 

The commentary snaps you back into present time, a quirk of an eyebrow while you flick your eyes to the scoreboard makes you realize that both teams are on another tie. 

HOME: 3 | VISITORS: 3

“Oh shit.” You hear Jaemin curse, moving his butt closer to the edge of the chair while he grasps on his hotdog tighter. You too, feel the rate of your heart quicken. 

“Here comes Lee Donghyuck with the ball—”

Fixated on his figure, your able to follow where Donghyuck is moving with the bolded #1 on his jersey, seeing that he’s running towards the ball with all his might, zipping through all his opponents and flashing through the grass like lightning. A player with a different coloured jersey starts to run beside him, and it cues Donghyuck to pick up his pace. Everything is getting intense, and Donghyuck starts to grow in desperation after every passing second just so he can touch the ball and kick it to the net. 

Jeno’s holding the handle of the chair like his life is on the line, muttering in hushed whispers ‘you better get this one, idiot’ and you want to laugh. But you have no time to laugh. 

“Finally!” Jaemin shouts when Donghyuck gets a hold of the ball after failed attempts prior, kicking it to the other side of the field where the goal was. Every student who is rooting for the team is now standing in excitement, ready to cheer if Donghyuck delivers the winning point. Since he’s captain, though you might now want to acknowledge so, you believe that he can do it. 

It’s not until he moves closer to the opposing side’s goal, moving past the defence players and slipping in between the gaps as they try to take the ball away from him. Donghyuck uses his footwork to keep the ball to himself, and your fists subconsciously turn white at how it’s clenched.

Donghyuck looks at where he’s trying to shoot, doing his best to break the tie and win this game. In a millisecond, he swings his leg back and kicks the ball with just the right amount of energy, causing it to fly before it stops at the net.

“There we have it. The winning shot from none other than the captain himself!”

The commentator tries to scream the stats louder than the noise in the crowd, but everyone is busy screaming in glee, Jaemin and Jeno included as they almost throw their food up in the air from all the exhilaration. Jeno claps his hands, and Jaemin hollers. As for you, you let out the biggest breath, not realizing how apprehensive you’ve become.

A soft giggle elicits from your throat as you watch Donghyuck run through the field haphazardly, his teammates scurrying over to him to engulf him in hugs and pats. And you feel at ease. 

When Donghyuck takes off his headband, wiping the sweat off his head with his arm. He takes a sharp inhale, and eyes going off to search the crowd, immediately stopping when they meet yours in the crowd. There’s so much screaming from the crowd, but you hear bells. You hear bells ringing through your ears and everything about this just feels too good to be true. 

He ignores the pushes and shoves from his teammates when his gaze is at yours, and it’s just as if time has stopped just for you to share this moment with him. You give him a smile, a small-thumbs up, and he reciprocates the act, making your heart set off into a rocket.

“So, what’d you think about your first game you watched?” Jaemin asks, “Is it good?” The thing is, you don’t need to say anything for them to know what you're feeling.

“It’s… okay…” And both Jeno and Jaemin know that you’re lying. Your eyes are telling them it’s more than okay. In fact, by the looks of it, they can tell you won’t be needing your Tinder app anymore. 

The two share a knowing look at each other when you continue to look back at Donghyuck, a whole galaxy painted in your eyes. If only you can acknowledge them.

EPISODE 9: meet-cute (and puppies) 

There’s a shift. 

You can just sense it. 

Or perhaps, you can’t only just sense it, but you know it. And you know it because you have never looked at Donghyuck in that way before. Not in a way where you seem like you're looking for something in him: something specific but not knowing exactly what it is. 

For the most part, this acquired proposition doesn’t completely impact your relationship with him: there’s still the occasional banter from one end to the other, and his continuous foolish acts still makes your skin boil, but now, the way you act around him, when it’s only the both of you in the room, is more tense.

And not the good kind of tension.

 “Hey, are you okay?” Donghyuck says softly, his eyes showing worry when he’s caught you lacking and staring off at a random spot in the room for the past few minutes. 

Your eyes avert to him, and you swear, it feels much weirder to look at him straight in the eye. It doesn’t feel natural. It feels like you’re hiding something from him, but you don’t know what it is in Donghyuck that’s making you feel this specific, new way towards him.

Nowadays, you feel yourself holding back when you converse with him. It takes you an unusual amount of willpower to not all of a sudden worry about the way you speak to Donghyuck. He’s supposed to be one of the people you have no filter for, to be yourself and not worry about what he thinks. But it really doesn’t feel the way you want it to be at the moment.

He waves his hand across your face, causing you to get your mind off your daydream and you give him a faint smile of reassurance before sitting up straight. “Yeah, I’m good.” You clear your throat, adjusting your headset and placing your face closer to the microphone, muttering an apology.

You can still feel Donghyuck’s stare on you. You’re unable to meet his eyes without panicking, which is why you avoid looking at his figure. 

This shift is making you shift on your seat uncomfortably.

“Your shoulders are tense. We can’t have you breaking cold sweat now.” Donghyuck notices the tension in the air, trying to fix it by calling you out and chuckling it off. But everything comes off as awkward. A disconcerting feeling starts to stir in the pit of your stomach, so you take a deep breath and try to forget that Donghyuck is in the room.

Just pretend you're talking to someone else. Absolutely. This is going to work out perfectly if you act like it isn’t your crush that’s right in front of you. Wait— holy shit you did not just say crush. 

“Right.” You yelp, and flick your leg to stop acting like a total fool. Donghyuck just stares at you suspiciously, before he suddenly grabs the notebook where your podcast ideas are written down and pretends to not notice the strained atmosphere. He gets ready to talk, pressing the resume button on the recording and your shoulders drop in ease that he total focus isn’t on you anymore.

“Anyways, I’ll be the one introducing this week’s topic.” he brings himself closer to the mic as he looks up at the ceiling, trying to formulate and visualize the proper words to say. He looks really pretty. “I think it’s my first time introducing the topic… huh.”

“It’s about time,” you mumble, blushing when you feel the sudden weight of his gaze. He gives you a warm smile when you're finally trying to talk to him properly, and it makes things seem much easier to do so.

“Okay, okay. Here we go.” He says excitingly, and your wariness slowly fades away; the bliss he’s giving you when he gives you a knowing look that reminds you that you both are going to talk about a topic you’ve been dying to discuss in the podcast. Donghyuck checks off that topic from your list as he talks, “We’re going to be talking about meet-cute incidents. A topic that has been on our list of discussions for a while now. But we only decided to talk about it now for one specific reason:”

He gestures for you to continue on. He sends you a message through telepathy on what to say, and you hold back a grin suddenly remembering why you and Donghyuck decided to make this your theme this week. Because of Jaemin. The boy across from you feels his heart blossoming when you start easing up in the room. 

It’s like the saying, ‘seeing you happy makes me happy,’ in this case, that form comes in you.

“We have this friend, and when he came back home from his volleyball practice, he brought home a dog that he picked up on the sidewalk because apparently the owner couldn’t be found. At first, we thought that the dog had rabies so we told him to kick the dog out, but he insisted on finding the owner.” You start to talk about Jaemin’s incident from earlier this week, and Donghyuck finds that the small giggle coming out of your mouth is very pretty. “Next thing you know, the owner comes and picks up their dog. And our friend just looked so starstruck when he opened the door.”

Here’s the thing: you’re pretty good at sharing stories about other people in your circle without spilling out their names, and although most people know and associate you with Jaemin and might have an idea that this story is about him, you still do not mention his name for many reasons. But at least it gives a mysterious element in the story, because they wouldn’t officially consider that you are talking about him unless you straight up announce it. 

You try to stop yourself from smiling at the memory too hard, picturing how Jaemin looked when he met the owner of the puppy for the first time, because minutes after the puppy is gone, he either wouldn’t shut up about how cute the owner looked, or would just start grinning to himself at the small memory. You, Donghyuck, and Jeno saw him almost trip on his foot once because of how distracted he’s gotten. 

“I never seen him with that look before. It looks nice on him.” Donghyuck laughs wholeheartedly, neither of you getting slightly worried that Jaemin will come screaming at you for telling his story to the podcast. But again, you did not say his name. And if anything, you can drag Donghyuck down with you if Jaemin does get mad.

“It does.” You agree with him, and he throws his head back in bemusement before huffing a sigh of content.

“To the person who picked up their dog from our friend. This is our love letter to you. Our friend is probably whipped for you now.” Donghyuck does his job as a love advisor, but this time, a matchmaker too, “Last time we talked to him — which was a few hours ago, he couldn’t stop blushing while doing his calculus assignment.”

You’re happy for your best friend, you really are, but the more you see romance happening all around you, from the podcast to now your best friend, your mind goes back to asking when you’ll have that moment as well. Because you, of all people, have been waiting patiently for your turn.

“I wonder when I’ll have my meet-cute moment,” you say out loud, and it perks up Donghyuck’s interest.

He wonders if you remember the first time you met him.

“You know, when I first heard the term 'meet-cute’, I thought it meant that you’re meeting a really cute person for the first time.” This makes you giggle. You nod at him, agreeing because you thought the same thing as him when you first heard of this term. “But it isn’t necessarily that.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Yeah…”

You clear your throat. “Okay, I’ll get started with the love letters. Donghyuck, pick one from the pile and give it to me.” Grabbing the basket with all the letters you place on the table in front of Donghyuck, as he picks one out, there’s something about the way he looks up at you; it makes your body feel as if it’s zapped by electricity. He’s barely doing anything to make you feel like this, but it almost makes you dizzy — like the blood is rushing hard around your head. 

“Here.” He takes one and gives it to you, your hands momentarily brushing which makes your whole body jolt. A warm tingling feeling courses to your own fingertips, and you wonder how holding his hand would feel like. 

“Thank you.” You mumble bashfully, your cheeks painted with scarlet hues as you try to open the letter. When you unfold the piece of paper, you are meeted with a full page, and you look up at Donghyuck, widening your eyes. “Oh. This one’s a long letter.”

He chuckles, and leans back on his chair, as you start reading. 

There is a shift. You can sense it. But for some odd reason, you’re starting to let it grow on you.

“Dear Romacing…”

EPISODE 10: professor’s matchmaking services

If there is one (1) professor that has been bearable throughout your years as a college student, it would be Professor Dae. And you have a variety of supporting evidence to why you picked her.

For one, she too is a hopeless romantic and will rave over classic love stories she’s stumbled on through Netflix with you. Professor Dae allowed you to email her some Kdrama recommendations, throwing the professionality aside and even giving you five minutes of time after the lecture just to talk about it with her. It’s lovely. Dae is lovely.

And she also likes mint chocolate chip ice cream— though, she seemed more like a caramel ice cream lover. But when after hearing that fact about her during the icebreakers on the first day of school, you knew that you would get along with her easily, because unlike all the others that think mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste, there’s someone you know that finally has a good set of taste buds.

You love your professor just as much as you love your romance films and mint chocolate chip, but after the stunt she pulled, where she made you and Donghyuck partners for this project, she became one of the teachers in your list of ‘watch-out -for-next-semester’ professors. 

“So, how’s the projects going along?” She looks around the classroom, blazer and suit in check, clasping her hands sweetly with a warm smile and her overly large glasses looming over her face when she turns to face you. “Donghyuck? Y/N?”

You freeze when you hear your name, shifting your gaze away from the powerpoint slide filling the window in your laptop, and turning to see everybody in the class looking at you in anticipation. Professor Dae notices you trying to tiny yourself in your spot, and she chuckles. 

“I’ve been hearing a lot from yours. Care to share a little bit with the class before we start our lesson?” She raises her eyebrows, she’s not offering you to share what’s happening in your project, she’s making you share what’s happening in your project. Professor then moves her head to look at Donghyuck, who is seated on the same row as you as she coughs aggressively, making him turn up in surprise. 

“You don’t have to share if you don’t feel comfortable.” You have to share whether you feel comfortable or not. 

You and Donghyuck give each other a look from across the lecture hall before turning back to Dae.

“It’s been good…” you clasp your lips together, your cheeks heating up from all the attention. “...We’ve been getting a lot of… exposure.” 

“Oh really?” Her eyes widen, though little do you know, Professor Dae already listens to your podcast (look, she listens to all her students podcasts, there’s no favouritism here). And she knows what has been happening, at this point it’s just playing the oblivious role. “It’s that good?”

“Well, I’d like to think it is. But there’s probably more arguments in the podcast than actual advice.” You can feel yourself beaming like a complete fool, in front of everyone that’s watching you, and potentially Donghyuck too, which is super risky. But he doesn’t notice because he himself is grinning behind his laptop screen, scared that you’ll catch him.

Professor Dae bites back a simper.

“I’m excited to listen to it.” She claps once, enthusiasm radiating through her words that gets a couple of students to laugh. “Especially since you two would always get into arguments here. I’m surprised you two haven’t gotten along yet.”

Your eyes widen, shy to respond while your tongue gets stuck in your mouth, unable to tell any of them you did start getting along with Donghyuck just recently, but you’re too afraid to admit it. You’d expect Dae to move on and discuss with another student about their communication assignment, since you’ve stopped talking and moved on to continue reading the Powerpoint slides, but apparently she’s not done.

“Well…” She waits in anticipation, but you have no idea what she’s referring to.

“Well—?”

Oh. 

Oh.

So she does want you to correct her.

“We’ve gotten a little bit closer? I think?” You don’t sound as confident as you intend to, because the mere idea of getting closer to Donghyuck, and tipping over that relationship that consists of you despising each other to tip over to friendship, makes your gut, mind and heart ricochet right before your eyes.

You turn to his direction, seeing if he will correct you and say that you both are still what you were at the beginning of the podcast, but when he looks at you, he sends you a subtle grin, as he nods hesitantly.

Professor Dae snickers, face livelier than ever, “Then that’s nice to hear. It’s about time that happened.” She shakes her head, and finds a new group to taunt.

Hold up.

EPISODE 11: there’s just something about you

Donghyuck’s mind is engulfed by you. 

And it means a lot coming from him.

When you sit across from him across the recording studio, he feels like the luckiest man alive that Professor decided to partner you up with him. There are plenty of victories he can acknowledge that happened during his college life — the notable ones including his numerous wins during his soccer games — but this one feels special in it’s own way. There’s triumph in this sense, and his mind can’t simply phantom why he particularly feels this way around you.

But he finds solace in it. He finds solace whenever he sees your eyes from crescents over the smallest things, whenever you try to hold back that smile of yours, whenever you pout or frown over something stupid he says. 

He’s always enjoyed the attention from you, the way you banter with him because you're not like the other ones who easily let him into their lives. But the very moment you showed him the other side of you, the side he didn’t think you would ever give him, you make it feel like it’s a dandelion wisp, something so fragile that he’s scared he would never see it ever again.

It feels so beautiful and painful in every way, and Donghyuck didn’t know he would ever have the capacity to hold such emotions for you. 

“So, we’re nearing the finale.” You note out of the blue in the middle of the podcast, “How do you feel?”

He remembers when you both were so done after the first episode, but after all the things you’ve been through, he can genuinely say that he will miss this. “Delighted. I don’t have to talk to you as much anymore, and we can go back to our separate ways and ignore each other.” He jokes around, it’s all shown in the way his eyes sparkle.

“Fuck you, Lee Donghyuck.”

“I’d love that.” 

And maybe. Just maybe. You're going to miss Lee Donghyuck; questionably humbled soccer player, decent podcast co-host, not so charismatic and more awkward boy, and the boy who’s somehow entered your heart in the weirdest way possible.

“This will be our last week of accepting letters, so get everything in while we’re still here. We won’t be having a Season 2.” It leaves you with a bittersweet taste in your tongue saying these words. You’re going to miss this, but you don’t think you’ll be able to tolerate spending another series of sleepless nights just to edit and think of ideas. Yeah the clout is cool, but it has drained you out a lot. 

“We have reached the end of this week’s recording, so a reminder to hit that five star rating and tweet to us your thoughts of this episode.” You start to sound like those Youtubers that shamelessly promote their content, and it makes Donghyuck’s lips curve up to a grin. You sigh, confessing your thoughts, “I’ll miss this.” 

“No you won’t, you’ll be thrilled we’re done with this. No more pulling all-nighters to do the editing.” He says in a sing-song tone, and you place your hand by your heart in faux pain. 

“That was so uncalled for.” You sneer at him wittily, and as much as you can agree with him, you don’t like the way he’s bluntly saying it for the world to hear. Who knows. Maybe Professor will take off part marks for saying that.

“Okay but I think I’ll miss this too.” When you turn back to Donghyuck, his features soften; the words escaping him simmer in the silence between you, and you never could have imagined that things would end up like this. That you both would actually be at a level where you’ll feel weird going back to the lives you had before Professor brought you together. 

And you press the stop button. Sighing, full of contentment and giving Donghyuck an air fist-bump, in which he gives back through tired eyes.

You take off your headset and gather your bag from under the desk, standing up from the chair and slinging your backpack around your arms, clutching it tightly as you get ready to get out of the room.

“Do you need a ride home?” He asks while you get ready, he’s still sitting down, watching as you move and scurry along the recording studio. 

“Nah, I’m good. I’m meeting up with an old friend in that Korean Barbecue place in thirty minutes.” You play with the strings of your backpack as you reply to him, standing awkwardly by the exit. He stands up, 

“Should I drop you off there, then?”

You shake your head, reassuring him that you’ll be fine, “It’s okay. Thank you, though.” But he looks at you as if there’s so many things drowning his mind, like there’s so much more of the unspoken words that you share. For some reason, you want to say yes to his question, just so you can spend just a few more minutes with him. 

When you turn your heel and turn the door knob, you hear Donghyuck quickly clutching on his keys, the metal clinging furiously as his chair pulls back. 

“Wait, Y/N.” He hurries to your side, and next thing you know, you can feel his fingers wrapped around your wrist. You give it a glance, and you suck in a deep breath, your heart dead struck at from his touch. 

“What is it?” You whisper, doubting your own voice. 

“I— I need to tell you something...” His voice trails off, and you turn back around so you can see his face, which is inches apart from yours. Donghyuck’s nerves wrack together as he finds the right way to say what he’s been dying to tell you for the last few days, and when you look at him so patiently, so lovingly, he thinks it’s no better time to tell you but now. “I think I might’ve caught feelings for you.”

There’s a grace period that happens immediately after, the delicacy of his hold starting to tremble as he waits for an excruciating amount of time to hear if you feel the same way or not. He hopes he has a chance, he hopes he’s just not misinterpreting everything that happens, and you as well felt the same spark he felt. It’s like his heart is getting ripped out of his chest, and though you don’t mean to, you might’ve broken him as you say your next words.

“Are you sure you’re not just saying that?” You know why you don’t want to admit how you feel about him just yet. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can believe you.” 

“You can’t?” He releases his hold. 

“I’m sorry…” But it’s not that you're scared of him, no, you feel everything but that. But there’s just stopping you from telling him now. You don’t think it’s the right moment. There’s a glint flickering your iris’, a heavy burden that makes you want to believe that Donghyuck does feel the same way about you, but he said he doesn’t fall in love. And it’s hard to believe that someone who doesn’t want to have those feelings suddenly gains them in a span of weeks.

There’s a reason why Donghyuck teaches you to be realistic at times, and these are one of the circumstances where you have to. 

“B-but I like you.”

The way his body is sending you the message makes you want to believe him. Because heck, you like, really really really feel the same way. But now that you’re able to finally accept what it feels like falling in love, you’re almost terrified at the idea. You’re scared that Donghyuck is just saying that because this was the first time he felt something different, or if he sincerely feels that way toward you. 

“Then— then prove it to me, I guess.” You tell him, and this makes Donghyuck feel his body that was slowly falling, earning its wings. “I don’t know if I should trust your words, when just weeks ago, you told me, and everyone that listens to our podcast, that you don’t fall in love.” 

And he thinks your words are valid. It’s the way you're giving him a chance that keeps him up his toes. And he knows you’re not purposely playing hard to get, because that game has already been going on since the day you met him. “So what do I do when I prove it?”

You place your hands on his shoulders with a small grin painting your lips, before opening the door. “Do it first. Then I’ll tell you what I’ll do after.”

“Is this a challenge?” 

“I don’t know. Is it?”

For some reason, even though it should feel like you indirectly rejected him, he still feels like there is hope. After all, you did not completely shut him down.

EPISODE 12: let’s fall in love

Donghyuck does not know how to ‘prove it’. If he’s being real, he does not know what that statement even means, but after talking it out with the only person who seems to wholeheartedly understand him, also known as his roommate: the Lee Jeno, he’s been given a good pep talk and decent advice to what he should do. 

It is the exact reason why he’s gone through with his plans right after his soccer practice just so he can tell you. You asked him to prove it, and he will do just that.

He’s panting at your front door, not because he’s exhausted, because everyone knows he has way too much stamina to feel out of breath from just running to your place for a good three minutes. But instead, it’s him standing at your front door, already knocked at the piece of wood with his practice uniform that makes him feel as if he’s ready to give his heart on a platter in any form he can. 

You open your door, wearing one of your worn out high school club shirts and flamingo pyjamas, hair tousled and mix-match socks, and Donghyuck still thinks you're absolutely breathtaking. Your eyes almost bulge out, bewildered at the fact that Donghyuck is standing in front of you at an hour you don’t expect him to. “Woah— what are you doing here?”

“You asked me to prove it to you. So I’m doing it right now.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so straightforward with it, but as he collects all the courage he can muster up so he can talk to you, he believes that this is his one and only chance to make things right. Everything about this feels so right. The drink he's holding, that you still don’t notice, still feels so right.

“Okay,” your face perks up. His attempt at doing this makes you laugh. It’s airy. Light. Saccharine. And it gives Donghyuck hope. So much hope. It gives him hope that love is worth it. “How so?”

“Here.” He holds up the drink in front of you, and you look at it with furrowed eyebrows. “Does this remind you of anything?”

“It’s bubble tea.” 

He gives off a single nod, eyes flickering at the same time you look at him in concern, blinking repeatedly, causing Donghyuck to close his lips shut, refraining himself from the crescents tempting to form his lips. It’s just a simple drink. Taro bubble tea. You don’t know why he’s giving it to you.

“It’s how I first met you.” He beams, simpering when you turn speechless. “You said you wanted a meet-cute moment, maybe I can help you remember ours.”

This alarms a strange, familiar tightening in your chest.

“Donghyuck…”

“We met at the bubble tea shop near the library. Jaemin wanted to introduce his best friend to us for the first time, and he was pretty excited and told us all about you. Then you enter the shop with the warmest smile on your face, and I remember feeling so ecstatic seeing you.” He takes a deep breath, and he doesn’t remove the contact he has with your eyes. If he only can, he would choose to be lost in them for an infinity. 

And it makes you burst through the seams, letting him take your hand and hold the drink. 

“But then when we got our orders, my drink accidentally spilt all over your shirt. And you got so mad at me after that because the purple stuff is now stained on that shirt.” He chuckles, looking down at what you're holding, then back to your face. “You hated me so much after that, and the debates we had in class didn’t make it better.”

“That was not a meet-cute.” You tell him the truth, it’s probably a meet-messy more than a meet-cute, but no matter what it is, the idea of Donghyuck even remembering this keeps your cheeks vividly flaring and fingers quaking. He fucking remembers. 

You look at him gently, sharing a comforting moment through the borderline of your dorm and the hallway. 

“Yes, it was.” Donghyuck begins to groan, “It was the first time I felt hopeful. After what happened in high school.”

You study the drink amusingly. You can’t believe you, the mediocre and simple you, was able to be the reason why Donghyuck has learned to find the value in falling in love. “I can’t believe I did that.”

But what you can’t believe is that you, the hopeless romantic and tinder date searching you, was able to find your reason to fall in love through Lee Donghyuck. The bane of your existence. But now, that has a different meaning.

“Yeah you did.” He wants you to believe him. “I know I say I don’t fall in love, and I know I have been firm with it. But god, Y/N. If only I knew this is what love would feel like.” And you do. You do believe him in every sense, in every word that he tells you.

“Can I drink this?” You hold it up higher, waving the drink at his face and poking the side of the straw, seeing his face drop because just when he’s sure that you will say the words back — because he knows — you do this instead.

“Are you being for real right now?” Donghyuck gawks, looking at you in disbelief, and you put up your best meekful expression. He really wishes you're messing with him right now, he really does, but it’s exactly the way he just gave his heart to you like that only for you to pull this card on him. “I— you know what. I can’t do this. Nevermind what I said.”

He huffs out a breath, taking a step back and getting ready to head to the elevator.

You grab his wrist. 

“So do you love me or do you not love me?” His back is facing you, refusing to turn and look at you because he refuses to make a fool of himself to you one more time. “I can’t believe you're running away already.”

“I said what I said.” He says with a sigh.

“Answer my question.” Deciding to spare a glance at you, he thinks he will be greeted by a stern, or maybe a mirthful expression, but he notices neither. There you are, opposite of hard, of everything fond, sentimental, poignant, compassionate, he really thinks you would play with his feelings for another time.

Instead, you give him a look, one willing to listen to him, one filled with everything he’s been looking for. Seeing how your eyes don’t hold anything back anymore, you hold onto his wrist a little more delicately, like how you would hold his heart, and it makes Donghyuck loosen up and feel jittery at the same time.

“Yes, you fool. I do. And if I want to prove it to you by kissing you, but instead I had to make a whole monologue just so you can believe me. But look at where we are now.” Hearing his blunt words, his voice trembling at the same time, you cup his cheeks, making him look at you.

“You talk too much when you’re nervous.”

You let go of his wrist, moving it to rub your thumb across his cheeks, and Donghyuck finds himself relaxing under your touch.

“So… what are you gonna do now?” He asks you. There’s a twinkle of light that you don’t miss in his eyes, a subtle hint from him to you in hopes you’d continue instead of turning the other cheek.

“I don’t know.”

“I answered your question and you’re not going to say anything—?” Before he can say anything further, or reprimand you for fooling with his heart again, you cut him off, placing your lips on his, and it feels no less than the first time you did so, back by the coffee table. 

Donghyuck’s head is spinning, letting out a gasp of air as honey and sugar drips from your lips, he kisses you, brings you closer, realizing right then and there, though he already knows, that you feel the same way. He’s reassured that you feel the same way.

“Oh.”

You smile at him, lovingly. Ready to tell him anything and everything. “Lee Donghyuck. I have started catching feelings for you too, and I knew falling in love would be wonderful, but I didn’t know it would feel like this.”

“Good.” He says teasingly, and you push your drink against his chest, chuckling, not bothering if you spill it, because that’s how you met, right? “Because if I didn’t say it already, I love you.”

When Donghyuck smiles at your expression, you best believe that it is the most beautiful thing in the world. His mouth is formed so tender and lovestruck and his eyes turn into moons, it’s such a sight to bask in under the constellation painted in the night sky. You probably realized this a long time ago, and you have only come to terms to admit it now — Donghyuck is beautiful. His smile is beautiful. Everything about him is so beautiful that he can easily turn your world around just from his presence.

“I love you too, Mr. Guy Who Doesn’t Fall In Love.”

“Wait, you knew that was me?”

“Excuse me what?” You look at him weirdly, unable to register his words until one, two, three seconds, and your head snaps up. “I just said that as a joke. Oh my god, Donghyuck.”

“Oh well,” He shrugs, before the corners of his lips turn up for the umpteenth time, pulling you into an embrace. “At least you know what happened to his story now.”

Project Title: Romancing Member Names: Lee Donghyuck and Y/N Final Project Mark: 95%

Taglist. @vocalracha @jishyucks @strawbaeri-s @neoteez01 @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @b1kon131 @freesmbdy134 @teardroplover @haruharux23 @haechanswhore @ndr1271 @channiedani @fullfarmrascalpeach @ellethereal00 @jensbae @bluejaem @hhyuckkkk @jensrose @zcl01 @tyunsie 

if your user is bolded, it means i could not tag you. 

[kiyosamu]

back up.

---♡---

pairing: rintaro suna x female reader

genre: dark, angst, (slight) enemies to comfort, some comedy in the beginning. // one shot, 3.9k words

synopsis: being the younger sister of the miya twins definitely has its advantages and its... disadvantages. sure, it comes with all of the teasing from both them and their friends, but it gets more serious when people hold grudges on them and try to take out their anger on you.

content warnings: descriptions of assault, threats, sexual assault (no penetration), violence, injuries

---♡---

“Osamu!” You screeched, attempting to push your older brother off of you. “Get him off!”

Atsumu had tackled you to the ground and was sitting on your back, cackling with satisfaction as he pinned you down.

“I can’t help ya.” Osamu smirked as he walked by. He sat on the couch adjacent to you and Atsumu with an amused glimmer in his eyes. “Shouldn’t have eaten his pudding.”

“Why do you care if I eat his pudding?!” You growled, thrashing around under Atsumu to get some kind of leverage while he sat on you with all of his weight, rendering your limbs useless.

“If you eat his pudding, then he eats mine.” Osamu shrugged, “And I hate it when he does that.”

“Take it up with him! I just grabbed whatever was closest. You guys are so weird with your labeled food!” You tried to throw a punch at Atsumu and he caught your fist easily, snickering when you let out a loud whine. “Atsumu, get OFF!”

“No can do, kiddo.” He grinned, “Ya know what happens when you eat our food.”

“I’m gonna tell mom.” You mumbled.

“That’s dirty. Don’t bring mom into this.” Osamu interrupted and you shot a death glare at him.

“Stop involving yourself! I don’t need your commentary.”

“Don’t be such a tattle tale.” Atsumu teased, finally easing up on you and taking a bit of the weight off of your back. You gasped dramatically as you could finally take a full, deep breath.

“Thank you, god. You’re heavy.” You said quietly, deciding to fully submit and just lay down on the living room floor.

“Did you just call me fat?!” Atsumu gasped, crawling over to your face to look you in the eyes.

“Yes.” You nodded. Atsumu immediately turned to Osamu, who burst out laughing at his offended expression.

“Laugh it up, ‘Samu. If I’m fat then so are you.” Atsumu muttered as he finally stood up to take a seat next to Osamu on the couch.

“I can’t stand either of you.” You mumbled, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at them.

“Why’s baby Miya throwing a temper tantrum?” A familiar, monotone voice was coming from the entry way. You hadn’t even heard him come in.

“None of your business, Suna.” You glared at the tall boy. He responded with a crooked smirk while he walked in with his hands plunged deep in his pockets.

Suna was over at your house almost every day. He also teased you as much as your brothers did, if not more.

“Jeez, what’s with the attitude?” He snorted, “You sound like Atsumu. I swear you’re triplets.”

Suna jumped over the back of the couch and plopped down between the twins. You sat up, looking at the three of them for a second before getting up and retreating to your room.

“Aw, come on baby Miya. Where are you going?” Suna called after you while you walked down the hallway.

“I need to get ready. I’m going out tonight.”

You retreated to your bedroom and sat down at your vanity. Before you could even pull out a hair brush, Osamu had burst into your bedroom.

“Where ya going?” He asked, leaning against the doorway.

“Out?” You replied, getting up to sift through your closet for something to wear.

Your friend had set you up on a blind date tonight. Your mom had held your brothers back a year and since you were only 10 months apart, you were all in the same year. This meant you all had the same classmates, knew all of the same people, and they were constantly in your business.

When your friend had told you about this guy, he sounded too good to be true. He had gone to another school that was a bit further away, but since you had all graduated a few months prior you figured a bit of distance wasn’t that big of a deal. After all, you were all adults now.

“Out where?” Atsumu asked, pushing the door open all the way and standing against the other side of the frame.

“On a date…” you muttered. The moment you said that, your brothers came in and promptly sat on your bed.

“Where are you going?”

“With who?”

“Where did you meet him?”

“How old is he?”

“Is he picking you up?”

“How long have you known him for?”

“Oh my god.” You groaned, pointing at your door. “Can you guys get out? I need to get ready. Why are you asking so many questions?”

“Believe it or not, kiddo, we just want to make sure you’re safe.” Osamu said, standing up and walking over to pat you on your head.

“Ugh, ‘Samu, you guys don’t have to treat me like a kid still. I’m an adult now, you know.” You said, crossing your arms.

“But you’ll always be our little sister.” Atsumu smiled. “Mom can’t keep track of all of us all the time. So we need to do it for her.” His words were genuine. Even though the three of you bickered and teased each other, you were protective of each other. You knew your brothers would do anything for you.

You’d never tell them, but you’d do anything for them, too.

“If anyone needs keeping track of, it’s you two.” You smirked. Atsumu rolled his eyes and Osamu shrugged you off.

Your brothers tried to pry more information out of you, but you only told them the bare minimum. After all, you barely even knew anything. You didn’t even know his name.

“So? Where’s she going?” Suna asked as the twins came back into the living room. He was sprawled out on the couch and flicking through the tv channels.

“That restaurant downtown. The one a few bus stops before your house.” Atsumu said with crossed arms. “She won’t let us drive her.”

“I’ll take the bus with her.” Suna shrugged, “It’s on the way, so I’ll make sure she gets there safely.”

“Good. Then you can tell us who she’s meetin’ there.” Osamu smirked.

Whether or not Osamu had asked, Suna was planning on finding that out regardless.

“Call is if you need anythin’!” Atsumu called to you as you walked to the door.

“We’ll come! Just call us, okay?” Osamu added.

“I’ll be fine, but thanks. I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.” You said loud enough for them to hear you in the other room. “Love you.”

“Love ya!” They replied in unison.

—

“Are you sure you’re not just spying on me?” You mumbled just loud enough for Suna to hear you from the seat behind you.

“Just decided to go home, baby Miya.” He replied, leaning forward. “Why? Do you want me to spy on you?”

“No!” You turned around and squinted your eyes at him. He looked back at you with a playful smirk and then went back to paying attention to his phone.

You got off the bus and hesitated for a moment, half expecting Suna to get off after you.

Except he didn’t.

You sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up and realizing you really were all alone now. Meeting a man you didn’t know, and unsure of what to expect.

You looked around and pulled out your phone to check the message from your friend again to refresh yourself on the characteristics of your blind date.

Dark hair, about 5’10, dark green eyes, ah-

“Miya, is it?” A man fitting the exact description was standing in front of you, a rose in hand and suspicious smirk across his lips.

“Yes, sorry, what’s your name?” Your voice was trembling and you had no idea why. You chalked it up to nerves, but it might’ve been the uneasiness you’d felt when you made eye contact with him.

“Daishou Suguru.” He said melodically. He handed you the rose and lightly pressed his hand to your lower back. “Shall we go inside? I have a table for us.”

You nodded, walking inside with him.

——

“So, Miya, any relation to those twins?” He asked, leaning in with his chin on his palm. He stared at you intently as if he wanted to soak in every word you were about to say.

“Oh, yeah. They’re my brothers.” You smiled. Even though they irritated you, you always liked to talk about them. You were proud of your brothers and all of their accomplishments, and talking about them was easier than having to come up with things to say about yourself.

“Ah,” Daishou nodded, thanking the server as she passed your dishes to the two of you. “Those two are real shit talkers, huh?”

“Yeah,” you laughed, a bit too casually for the occasion and realized you’d never even heard this guy’s name prior to tonight. “Wait, why do you say that?”

You were familiar with pretty much all of the volleyball players that your brothers had faced off against. Inarizaki’s own team were like family, but the other teams were around so often you’d gotten to know quite a few of the players from other schools just by going to the games and tournaments.

“Played against them once.” Daishou mumbled, the previously warm expression in his eyes was gone. “I don’t know which one I hate more. The mouthy setter or the spiker with the ego.”

You got goosebumps when he spoke these words. These weren’t normal rivalry grudges. This sounded like pure, unprecedented hatred.

You started to feel uncomfortable.

You hummed in acknowledgement. You weren’t sure how to reply, but you wanted him to know you’d heard him and were listening.

“So, how are you going to make it up to me?” Daishou asked. You froze, looking up at him.

His previously cold expression was warm again, cheeks round with a big smile. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh,” you giggled nervously and decided to focus on eating your dinner.

The rest of the evening went by okay. Little comments like that would have you unsure if there were ulterior motives, but when you’d try to look into it you’d see a happy smile from your date. Maybe he really was just joking, and was nervously trying to make you laugh.

When it was time to go, Daishou paid for the both of you and you left the restaurant together.

It was dark outside and pouring rain. You sighed, looking down the street at the empty bus stop. The bus wouldn’t be coming for another 20 minutes.

“Let me wait with you for the bus.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist again. “I wouldn’t want you out here all alone.”

You reluctantly accepted but tried to keep your distance. While his arm was around you, your arms were crossed and you were trying to stay as far from him as possible. Something was off, and you wanted to get as far away from him as quickly as possible.

You sent your brothers a quick text to let them know which bus you’d be on.

“Let’s wait over here. Out of the rain.”

Before you could reply, he grabbed your hand and yanked you down a small alley. It was covered by the overhead of the buildings roof, but was pitch black.

“I had a nice time tonight.” Daishou purred, pressing his body against you and trapping you against the cold brick wall.

“Yeah, me too…” You said quietly.

Only a few more minutes.

Daishou leaned down, trailing his hand up your chest and wrapping his long fingers around your throat. Your breath hitched and you felt tears well up in your eyes. You knew something was wrong. You knew something was going to happen. Your gut feeling was never wrong.

You tensed up, preparing to punch him the moment you felt pressure from his fingers. Instead of choking you, however, his hand rested gingerly on your skin and he leaned down to kiss you.

You kissed back, completely uninterested but not wanting him to know that.

“So, you are easy.” He smirked against your lips. He grabbed your hands and held them against the wall. His tongue started to force its way into your mouth and as you tried to break away, his body pressed into you harder, making you unable to move.

“Please stop,” you whimpered, “I don’t- I don’t want this.”

“Just relax.” He dug his fingers into your wrist, holding both of your hands together with just one of his, and using his free hand to move down your body and fondle your chest.

“Daishou- I-“ you gasped when he bit down on your neck. It didn’t feel good at all, and was just a swearing pain.

“You know, it really is a shame that you’re related to those two.” He muttered against your skin. “You’re a pretty girl. Probably would’ve liked you had your shitty brothers not have been such dicks.”

“Please, please just get off-“ You sniffled. You fought your brothers all the time, so why couldn’t you get him off? Why were you tensing up? Why were you crying? Just push him off, just push and run.

“Shut up.” He muttered. He slipped his hand into your pants and you let out a sob.

“No, no! Get off of me! Stop!” You were crying now, your voice getting louder as you attempted to break from his hold.

Unfortunately, he was just too strong for you. He smacked you across the face and pressed his palm to your mouth.

“I told you to shut up.” He growled. “Blame the twins for this.”

You were sobbing now. Completely terrified as this man assaulted your body in this dark alley and all you could think about was how badly you wanted to get out of there. How badly you wished your brothers had spied on you, how much you wanted them to protect you in that moment.

Daishou glared at you as your wails got louder, pulling back and slapping you across the face so hard you thought you were seeing stars.

“That’s what happens when stupid girls like you don’t listen. Now be quiet!”

Your vision was blurred and dark and you thought you were about to pass out when you felt the weight of his body completely lifted off of you.

You immediately felt relief, not in the form of safety by any means but you felt like you could somewhat breathe again. The blow he’d given you to the head had you feeling dizzy and you sunk to the ground against the wall.

“You fucking-“ *whack*

“piece-“ *whack*

“of shit!” *whack*

You squinted your eyes open at the familiar voice. The same voice that had annoyed you earlier that afternoon. The voice that immediately gave you a sense of safety in that dark alley.

“Suna..?” You barely managed to squeak out. You were sure he didn’t hear you considering you could barely hear your own voice.

“You’re going to regret this for the rest of your life.” Suna spat, landing another punch directly to his face. “If you have issues with someone, take it up with them like a fucking man.” He growled. “Instead of preying on their little sister. You’re pathetic.”

Suna stood up off the ground and all you could do was watch through squinted eyes and your knees pulled to your chest.

He pulled something out of his pocket, it shined under the street lamps and you weren’t sure what it was. He grabbed Daishou by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to stand up before pressing the object against his throat.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t just kill you right here.”

You closed your eyes, covering your face in your arms when you heard Daishou start to sob. He sounded like you did a few minutes ago.

“I’d go to jail for her, no questions asked. Trust me when I tell you that I won’t hesitate.”

Suna was much bigger than him. Stronger. Taller.

“Hey,” Suna growled, pushing him against the brick wall. Daishou looked as light as a rag doll when Suna was throwing him around. “Answer me when I’m talking to you.”

“Please- I don’t- I’m sorry-“ Daishou choked out.

Suna laughed. A completely genuine laugh that made your skin crawl.

“Are you? Are you sorry?”

You looked back up at the two men, closer to you now and you could see that the object Suna had against his throat was a knife.

“Suna, wait-“ You tried to say to him, but your voice was still shaky and quiet.

Daishou was sobbing now, tears flowing from his eyes and wails ripping from his throat.

“Not so tough when you’re the one on the receiving end, huh?” Suna glared, putting his knife back in his pocket and throwing Daishou back onto the ground.

“Get the fuck out of here before I change my mind.” Suna said in a dark, low tone you hadn’t heard from him before. “And if you ever come near her again, I really will kill you.”

Daishou scrambled to his feet, holding his head and trying to stop the bleeding on his face that was surely from one of the rings Suna was wearing on his fingers.

You trembled against the wall, staring at Suna’s back as he watched Daishou leave. As soon as he was out of eyesight, he quickly turned to you and crouched down.

“Hey, it’s okay.” His voice softened, his gaze was kind and he hesitated before touching you. “Can I help you up? Can you stand?”

You nodded weakly and he crouched down, putting his arms under yours and standing you up. You could feel your legs wobbling and held onto his arm for support.

“Ugh,” He sighed, the pain in his voice coming through when he saw the true damage that’d been done to you. His hands carefully put you back together as best he could. He buttoned your shirt and pants back up, and shrugged off his jacket to put it on you instead.

You grabbed onto the sleeves and pulled them over your hands. It was even bigger than your brothers’ jackets, and you sunk into the soft material trying to grasp onto any little piece of comfort you could get.

Suna picked you up and held you against his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he supported you from under your legs.

“How did you know where to find me?” You asked, your voice still quiet and strained.

“They told me what bus you were taking home so I came to make sure you got on okay. When it came and left without you I got worried and looked around, and then I heard you crying.” Suna let out a stressed out breath, “You know, I really would’ve done it.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” You said, closing your eyes. You couldn’t even process what had just happened and didn’t know what you would’ve done if Suna wasn’t with you right now.

——

Suna’s house was only down the road, and you agreed to go there and get cleaned up before heading back home.

“Here,” Suna handed you a pair of comfortable pants and a t-shirt. “They’ll be way too long on you, but it’s better than your soaking wet clothes you’re wearing now.”

“Thanks…” you accepted the offer, stepping into the bathroom to change.

When you came out, Suna had changed too, but his eyes widened with shock when he saw the extent of your injuries.

He swore under his breath and approached you. When he reached out and touched your neck, his cool hand soothed the sting of the deep bite Daishou had embedded in your neck.

“Can’t believe he fucking bit you.” Suna’s voice was so quiet he was practically whispering, and you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or just thinking out loud. He trailed his hand around your throat and pressed his fingers on the deep bruises forming from when you’d been choked.

“That helps,” you sighed, leaning into his touch. Suna pulled his hand back as if he wasn’t even aware he’d been touching you.

“What do you want to do now? Should we call Osamu and Atsumu? Want me to take you home?” He placed his hands on your shoulders and continued looking you over. Suna brushed your hair out of the way, inspecting your face closely and grunting when he looked straight on at the black eye starting to appear.

You winced when his thumb grazed over the side of your head and he immediately pulled back.

“You were hit really hard. You should go to the hospital.”

You shook your head. “I don’t… I don’t want to go anywhere. Not right now, anyway.” You stepped over to his bed, sitting on the edge. “Can I just lie down?”

Suna nodded and pulled the blankets open, gesturing for you to crawl into his bed. He pulled the blankets on top of you and patted your arm.

“I’m just going to go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I’ll shut the light off so you can rest a bit.”

The moment you couldn’t feel his presence in the room anymore, your mind travelled back to where you were earlier that night. Being attacked in a dark alley and suddenly you were feeling suffocated.

You sat up, gasping for air and Suna ran in, turning the light on and sitting next to you.

“Its okay, it’s okay,” He murmured, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into him. He stroked your hair and let you cry out your fear as long as you needed to.

“I don’t…” You sniffled, “I don’t know what happened. When you left I just felt so scared all over again.”

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, pressing his cheek against the top of your hair.

“Please don’t leave me alone.”

Suna nodded and stood up to go turn the light off again.

“Wait, where are you going?” You felt the panic start to take over again when the bed dipped down beside you.

“I’m right here.” His voice was kind. The Suna you’d known to always tease and annoy you had been replaced by something you could only describe as being your safety net.

Maybe this side of him was always here, and you just hadn’t ever noticed.

You laid back down beside him, moving close and nuzzling into his chest just like you had when he was carrying you. He wrapped his arms around you and softly trailed his hand up and down your back.

“I’ve got you, okay?” He whispered, “You’re safe with me. I promise. Just try and get some rest and we can worry about everything in the morning. You’ve been through enough tonight.”

You nodded and felt the relief wash over you. You knew you had a lot to deal with tomorrow, but having Suna by your side made it seem a little less scary.

Thinking back, he always was by your side. He would defend you when the twins would get too rough, and was definitely guilty of giving guys an intimidating glare when they’d try to hit on you.

You sighed, soaking in the feeling of his warmth.

You knew that from them on, you wanted nothing more than to be on his side.

And for him to stay on yours.