#now my feelings are hurt for no real reason because i understand where he was trying to go even though i disagree

[creatingblackcharacters]

"Let's Have a Talk, First"- Stereotypes, pt 1

Come sit down. You and I, before we get into any of the things I'm sure you're impatient to know: we need to have a come to Jesus talk, first.

There are some things that I've been asked and seen that strengthens my belief that we need to have a reframing of the conversation on stereotypes in media away from something as simple as "how do I find the checklist of stereotypes to avoid". Because race- and therefore racial stereotypes- is a complex construct! Stands to reason then, that seeing, understanding, and avoiding it won't be that simple! I'm going to give you a couple pointers to (hopefully) help you rethink your approach to this topic, and therefore how to apply it when you're writing Black characters- and even when thinking about Black people!

Point #1: DEVELOP THE CHARACTER!! WRITE!!

Excuse my crude language, but let me be blunt: Black people- and therefore Black characters- will get angry at things, and occasionally make bad choices in the heat of the moment. Some of us like to fuck real nasty, some might be dominant in the bedroom, they may even be incredibly experienced! Others of us succumb to circumstance and make poor decisions that lead to crime.

None of those things inherently makes any of us angry Black women and threatening Black men, Jezebels and BBC Mandingos, and gangsters and thugs!

Black people are PEOPLE! Write us as such!

If all Black characters ever did was go outside, say "hi neighbor!" and walk back in the house, we'd be as boring as racist fans often accuse.

I say this because I feel I've seen advice that I feel makes people think writing a Black character that… Emotes negatively, or gets hurt by life and circumstance, or really enjoys hard sex, or really any scenario where they might "look bad" is the issue. I can tell many people think "well if I write that, then it's a stereotype" and to avoid the difficulty, they'll probably end up writing a flat Black character or not writing them at all. Or- and I've seen this too- they'll overcompensate in the other direction, which reveals that they 'wrote a different sort of Black person!' and it comes off just as awkwardly because it means you think that the Black people that do these things are 'bad'. And I hate that, because we're capable of depth, nuance, good, evil, adventure, world domination, all of it!

My point is, if you write your character like the human being they are, while taking care to recognize that you as the writer are not buying into stereotypes with your OWN messaging, you're fine. We have emotions, we have motivations and goals, we make decisions, and we make mistakes, just like anybody else. Write that! Develop your character!

POINT #2: YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE READERS!!

Okay. You can write the GREATEST Black character ever, full of depth, love, nuance, emotional range, all those things…. And people are still going to be racist about them. Sorry. There is absolutely nothing you can do to control a reader coming from that place of bias you sought to avoid. If it's not there, TRUST AND BELIEVE, it'll be projected onto them.

That passionate young Black woman who told the MC to get her head out of her ass? Yeah she's an angry Black bitch now, and bully to the sweet white MC. Maybe a lesbian mommy figure if they like her enough to "redeem" her. That Black gay male lead that treats his partner like he worships the ground he walks on? Yeah he's an abusive thug that needs to die now because he disagreed One Time with his white partner. That Black trans woman who happened to be competing against the white MC, in a story where the white MC makes comparable choices? Ohhhh they're gonna be VILE about that poor woman.

It really hurts- most especially as a Black fan and writer- knowing that you have something amazing to offer (as a person and creative) and people are gonna spit on that and call it "preference". That they can project themselves onto white characters no matter what, but if you project your experiences onto black characters, it's "pandering", "self insert", "woke", "annoying", "boring", and other foul things we've all gotten comments of.

But expect that it's gonna happen when you write a Black character, again, especially if you're a Black writer. If you're not Black, it won't hurt as personally, but it will probably come as a shock when you put so much effort in to create a lovely character and people are just ass about them. Unfortunately, that is the climate of fandom we currently exist in.

My favorite example is of Louis De Pointe Du Lac from AMC's Interview With The Vampire. Louis is actually one of the best depictions of the existential horror that is being Black in a racist White world I have ever seen written by mostly nonblack people. It was timeless; I related to every single source of racist pain he experienced.

People were HORRIFIC about Louis.

It didn't matter that he was well written and what he symbolized; many white viewers did NOT LIKE this man. There's a level of empathy and understanding that Black characters in particular don't receive in comparison to white counterparts, and that's due to many of those stereotypes and systemic biases I'm going to talk about.

My point is, recognize that while yes, you as the author have a duty to write a character thoughtfully as you can, it's not going to stop the response of the ignorant. Writing seeking to get everyone to understand what you were trying to do… Sisyphean effort. It's better to focus on knowing that YOU wrote something good, that YOU did not write the stereotype that those people are determined to see.

POINT #3: WHY is something a stereotype?

While there are lists of stereotypes against Black people in media and life that can be found, I would appreciate if people stopped approaching it as just a list of things you can check off to avoid. You can know what the stereotypes are, sure, but if you don't understand WHY they're a problem and how they play into perception of us, you'll either end up writing a flat character trying to avoid that list, or you're going to write other things related to that stereotype because "oh its not item #1"... and it'll still be racist.

For example: if you wrote a "sassy Black woman" that does a z formation neck rotation just because a store manager asked her something… that's probably stereotype. If you thought of a character that needed to be "loudmouthed", "sassy", and "strong" and a dark-skinned black woman was automatically what fit the profile in your mind, ding ding ding! THAT'S where you need to catch your racist biases.

But a dark-skinned Black woman character cursing out a store manager because she's had a really bad, stressful day and their attitude towards her pushed her over the edge may be in the wrong, but she's not an "angry Black woman". She's a Black woman that's angry! And if you wrote the day she had to be as bad as would drive anyone to overstimulation and anxiety, the blow up will make sense! The development and writing behind her led to this logical point (which connects to point #1!)

I'm not going to provide a truly exhaustive list of Black stereotypes in media because that would ACTUALLY be worth a college credited class and I do this for free lmao. But I am going to provide some classic examples that can get y'all started on your own research.

POINT #4: WATCH BLACK NARRATIVES!

As always, I'm gonna push supporting Black creators, because that's the best way to see the range of what you'd like. You want to see Black villains? We got those! Black heroes? Black antiheroes? Assholes, lovers, comedians, depressed, criminals, kings, and more? They exist! You can get inspired by watching those movies and reading those books, see how WE depict us!

I've seen mixed reviews on it, BUT- I personally really enjoyed Swarm, because it was one of the first times I'd ever seen that "unhinged obsessed murderous Black fan girl" concept. Tumblr usually loves that shit lmao. Even the "bites you bites you bites you [thing I love]" thing was there. And she liked girls, too. Just saying. I thought it was a fun idea that I'd love to see more of. Y'all gotta give us a chance to be in these roles, to tell these tales. We can do it too, and you'd enjoy it if you tried to understand it!

POINT#5: You are NOT Black!

This is obvious lmao, but if you're not Black, there's no need to pretend. There's no need to think "oh well I have to get a 100% perfect depiction of the Black person's mind". That's… That's gonna look cringe, at its best. You don't have to do that in order to avoid stereotypes. You're not going to be able to catch every nuance because it's not your lived experience, nor is it the societally enforced culture. Just… Do what you can, and if you feel like it's coming off hokey… Maybe consider if you want to continue this way lol. If you know of any Black beta readers or sensitivity reviewers, that'd be a good time to check in!

For example, if your Black character is talking about "what's good my homie" and there's absolutely no reason for him to be speaking that way other than to indicate that he's Black… 😬 I can't stop you but… Are you sure?

An egregious example of a TERRIBLE way to write a Black character is the "What If: Miles Morales/Thor" comic. I want to emphasize the lack of good Black character design involved in some of these PROFESSIONAL art spaces, because that MARVEL comic PASSED QA!! That comic went past NUMEROUS sets of eyes and was APPROVED!! IT GOT RELEASED!! NO ONE STOPPED IT!!

I'm sorry, it was just so racist-ly bad that it was hilarious. Like you couldn't make that shit up.

Anyway, unfortunately that's how some of y'all sound trying to write AAVE. I promise that we speak the Queen's English too lmao. If you're worried you won't get it right, just use the standard form of English. It's fine! Personally, I'd much rather you do that than try to 'decode AAVE' if you don't know how to use it.

My point is, if you're actively "forcing" yourself to "think Black"… maybe you need to stand down and reconsider your approach lmao. This is why understanding the stereotypes and social environment behind them will help you write better, because you can incorporate that Blackness- without having to verbally "emphasize how Black this is"- into their character, motivations, and actions.

Conclusion

We need to reconsider how we approach the concepts of stereotypes when writing our Black characters. The goal is not to cross off a checklist of things to avoid per se, but to understand WHY we have to develop our Black characters well enough to avoid incorporating them into our writing. Give your Black characters substance- we're human beings! We have motivations and fears and desires! We're not perfect, but we're not inherently flawed because of our race. That's what makes the difference!

And as always, and really in particular for this topic, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

[getosbigballsack]

Random thought! - Husband Gojo x Wife Reader-chan #inside the diary

Hear me out! Gojo read your thoughts in your diary and came to realize that he was a terrible husband to you.

He knew he was a good lay, hence the reason he managed to knock you up three times. But as of lately, he came to realize that you weren't interested in having sex with him.

At first, he thought it was just because you were too tired, having to take care of the kids while he works, all day by yourself (in which he understands, and he praises you for being such a wonderful mother).

But that wasn't the case. He just happened to come home early from work while you were out shopping with the kids, and he got a hold of your diary.

Interestingly, he took it upon himself to skim through the pages of your book, just to see what's inside your little head. Nothing out of the ordinary, just little notes and reminders to yourself about the task you had to complete and a few words of encouragement here and there.

He usually doesn't read through your thoughts, always thinking that if you had an issue you'd come and talk to him, so he was about to put your diary back where he found it because he didn't want to pry further into your thoughts, but that's until one page in particular caught his eye.

I find it difficult to enjoy sex with my husband nowadays and I don't know why?

Words in blue handwriting are written beautifully on the paper. He kept on reading, and as he continued to move further down the line, he felt his heart break.

It’s just me, but I don't think I'm attractive enough to have sex with my husband.

I wanted to suggest the last time we had sex [that was a month ago], but I didn't wanna ruin the moment for him because he looked like he was having fun.

Satoru came home today and wanted to have sex. I told him no. He never forced himself on me. He only kissed me goodnight and left to go sleep in the guest room. I know he was upset but did he really have to leave?

It's been 2 months, and Satoru hasn't tried touching me since that night. Am I not worthy of loving anymore? He doesn't even buy me flowers anymore or take me out on dates.

He doesn't compliment me anymore, doesn't tell me that I'm beautiful. He doesn’t even call me baby girl, doll or even honey.

No more I love you, only kisses to the forehead and peck on the lips before he leaves for work in the morning.

He comes home late, I'm always alone with the kids, no more family dinners, no more kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom conversations. No more late-night kisses, no more holding me tightly in his arms while he sleeps.

Does he not want me anymore?

Sometimes I wanna visit his office with the children but I’m afraid that he’ll find my presence a bit annoying. I feel lonely without him here with me.

I should've said yes that night and spread my legs for him,

That's my duty as his wife.

To have fulfilled all my husband's needs without complaint.

But it hurts to have sex, I'm just not in the mood. I'm too tired, I just need my husband to hold me, but he's not there.

I can't complain, he's the reason I don't have to work.

But is it so bad to ask my husband to love me without having the need to touch me?

The last entry to your diary reads.

I'm going to do it today, bare the pain and have sex with my husband, just so that I can feel his love once again. 

Now he knows the real reason you won’t have intercourse with him, or let's say the reason you don’t enjoy having sex with him. You feel as though he doesn’t love you anymore, and he needs to fix that. So, until he can figure out a way to prove to you just how much he loves you, he’ll have to deprive himself of your warm loving touch. 

Later in the day when you came home with the kids, you saw your husband cooking up a storm in the kitchen. “Hey baby girl, want something to eat? It’s been a while hasn’t it.” too stunned to even say a word, you just watched as your kids, ages 3, 4 and 6 ran over to their dad and engulfed him in a big hug. He giggled and stopped whatever he was doing to bend to his children’s height and kissed every single of them on their cheeks. “Hey boys. Did you all take your mom out shopping today?” Oh, that’s right you’re a boy mom. You managed to pop three boys, all of them came out looking just like their dad, especially your eldest son. 

The boys chatted away with their dad until he excused himself and walked over to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. You're in a state of shock, unable to move for a moment until he whispers, “can I get a hug back?” and you did give him a hug. 

“Welcome home, have a seat, dinner’s almost ready. I cooked vegetable curry today, I know it’s your favourite,” and indeed it is your favourite. For the rest of the day, he spent time in the kitchen cooking while chatting with his kids, not without taking small glances at you. You all ate dinner together, got the kids ready for bed when night falls, before preparing for bed yourselves. 

You remembered that you wrote in your diary that you were about to try and have sex with your husband, all for the sake of feeling his love again, but that didn’t happen. Instead, you found your husband already waiting for you on the bed, fully dressed in pjs, a cup of your favourite tea in his hand and a warm loving smile on his face. 

He immediately started up a conversation with you, asking you about your day and your trip to the shopping centre. You had no clue what was going on inside your husband’s head, but it’s been a while since he last sat down and had small conversations like these, and you weren’t about to miss this opportunity. 

So with a smile on your face, you told everything that happened today and even the fact that you had to buy a bag of grapes you had no intentions of buying, but you did so because your 3 year old son stole and ate a few while you picked up a bag of oranges. The conversation went all a while until he sighed. 

“Y/N,” he whispered in a serious tone. “We need to talk. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I can’t bear the fact that my wife would be going to bed with doubts about our relationship and my love for you.”

You swallow thickly and rest your now empty cup against the nightstand before turning to face your husband fully. He reached his hand out for you, and you gently placed your left hand in his. He wrapped his large hand around your finger and gently pulled you until you were straddling his lips. You swallowed that thick lump yet again, before whispering, “So what is it that we need to talk about.”

“Why do you always refuse to communicate your feelings with me?” he asked as he let go of your hand and wrapped both hands around your waist and rested his head up against your chest. “I know I haven’t been a good husband to you these past few months, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you or that you’re not worthy of loving.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

He sighed heavily before taking a deep breath. “I found your diary in the living room when I got home, and I read through your notes.” Your body tensed up in his lap, your mind immediately racing towards negative thoughts. Is he angry? Why did you have to carelessly leave your diary out in the open for him to see. 

“Oh!”

“I’m sorry for reading through your diary, but I’m happy that I did because my wife won’t communicate with me,” he said with a frustrated sigh. 

You frowned, “Would you have listened even if I tried?”

“I would’ve dropped everything and listened to whatever it is that you have to say. I know it's my duty to ensure that my wife is living her best happy life, and that it’s also my responsibility to take care of your wellbeing, but I can’t always know what's going on with you if you don’t communicate with me.” 

Communication on your end has always been a big issue in your relationship with your husband. It bothered him and he’d hope that after a while you would’ve grown out of your bad habit, but he guess he’s wrong, because here you are now after 8 years of being a relationship total and that includes the four years of marriage, and 3 kids later, you still struggling to figure out a way to communicate your feelings with him. 

“I broke my heart when I read that you thought that as my wife, your duty is to only provide for me sexually or even the fact that you don’t think that you’re attractive enough to have sex with me. What hurts me the most is that you have so many doubts about my love for you. Y/N you know that I love you right?”

“I do,” your voice trembled slightly as you answered. 

“Then why are you doubting my feelings for you? I apologise for leaving you to sleep in the guest room that night, it was wrong of me to be upset all because you told me no.” There was a moment of silence, you figured he was waiting for a response in which you never gave.

“I know I don’t say this as much as I need to, but I love you. I LOVE YOU so very much. I love you as my best friend, my wife and I love you even more as the mother of my children.” Tears started to obstruct your vision as you stared off at your wedding portrait that was above your bed and listened as your husband poured his hurt out to you. 

“I need you to stop thinking that you are not worthy of loving because you are more than worthy. You’re an amazing woman, an amazing wife, and an amazing mother to our children. Just the fact that you're a mother makes you worthy of loving.” 

“Satoru… I- I,” you stuttered, trying to formulate the words inside your mouth, but even if you did, what are you going to say to your husband? You had not one clue. 

“I’m not a mind reader Y/N, so you need to start communicating your feelings with me, because if you don’t tell me, I’m not going to always know,” he said to you as he snuggled his head against your chest. 

“I- I’ll do better.” 

“I’m happy to hear that, and I promise to show you just how much I love you and do whatever it is to ensure that my wife is happy, because your happiness means the most to me. I’ll get you those flowers you want, and I’ll try my best to buy you loads of flowers in the future. And about visiting my office.”

“Yes?” you said. 

“I would love for you to pop up at my office one day with the kids and surprise me. My workers have been dying to meet my beautiful wife and children. And about the late-night work meetings. I can’t promise you that there won’t be any more late-night meetings, but I'll do my best to get home as early as I can to be with you and the kids. I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve abandoned you with the kids. I’ll take a few days off from work too and take the ends out. You’re right we barely have family time.”

“Thank you,” you said smiling as you allowed those tears to run down your cheeks. 

“I’ll do better as your husband. It wasn't my intention to not cuddle and hold you tightly while we sleep. Baby you know you can always smack me in the head or do that cute silly little thing you do and crawl underneath my arms if you want to cuddle with me,” he said to you, and you let out a small giggle. 

He chuckled too as he removed one hand from around your waist to cradle your cheek. “Lastly, this is about our sex life. If I make you feel physical pain, or uncomfortable at any time during intercourse you need to let me know because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. In your diary you said that you wanted to suggest the last time we had sex. I want you to tell me what it is.”

Your face heated up immediately, why would he have to bring that up now. Couldn’t he have waited until a better time. But nonetheless despite the obvious look of embarrassment on your face you whispered, “I was wondering if… if…”

“Yes?” 

“I was wondering if we could try something outside the usual vanilla sex,” you said to him, and he cocked his eyebrow towards you. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy vanilla sex, I love having vanilla sex with you and you know how to be rough when you need to be. But I thought it would be nice if we could do something different.” 

“What do you suggest?” he asked with a sunning grin on his face. 

“Maybe we could try using some sex toys.” 

“Sex toys heh?” he said, and you quickly covered up your face with your hands. “I’m open, I don’t mind getting a few sex toys here and there for us to use. I can order us a few online on another day.”

“Ok…”

“Good girl. I love you.” he whispered as he kissed your lips. "I promise I'll be a better husband for you."

“I love you too, Satoru.”

[adelliet]

Wolverine x f!reader

SCHOOL HEAT

Summary: You're a teacher at a school for gifted, and even when you sometimes have worries about fitting in, your colleague, to whom you've always been really close, will help you overcome them.

Warnings: MDNI 18+, strong language, teasing, flirting, jelousy, traumatic experience, nicknames (princess, good girl...), oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex (p i v), mirror sex

The story takes place in the multiverse with a young Charles Xavier

A/n: Uhhh I don't understand what happened but this is again so freaking long, I'm truly sorry. I just always get lost in it. Also sorry for grammar mistakes, if there are any, English is not my native language. However I hope you'll like it, enjoy! <3

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Since the first day Charles convinced you to join the X-Men and be a teacher in a ‘school for gifted’ aka mutant school, your mind couldn't stop thinking about one of the members. The typical cat-ear haircut, stern expression on his face and a huge belt holding his jeans. Logan Howlett.

In the first days, you were worried and anxious. After all, you are the only human in here without any powers, any special gift. That’s why you were afraid that the mutants would judge you, want to kick you out or that you would be left behind. But all these worries were immediately gone when you met Logan.

As soon as you met, he helped you and always tried to pull you into the conversation whenever you felt left out. He didn't have to say anything, just his act was enough to show that you were one of them without being gifted.

You still didn't quite understand why Xavier wanted you among them so urgently, but it didn't take long for everyone to find out the reason. Your grace, kindness and brain. You are an amazing scientist.

Even the students didn't make fun of you or bully you in any way. Well, from time to time there is a trouble maker that threatens you, but it doesn't happen often. Maybe it's because everyone are aware that if they hurt you, Logan would punish them.

Withal there is no secret that you two have a thing for each other. The endless flirting during breaks, the looks when you pass each other in the hallway or the subtle touches whenever you're a little close together. But it was never more than flirting. After all, you have your dignity and respect for work and for yourself.

However, this flirting of yours is not inconspicuous to others. Storm asks you every day if you've kissed yet, the students also ask questions about your and Logan's relationship, and Charles is always silently grinning whenever he sees the two of you in the same place. It's kind of annoying, but in a way, you kinda like it.

Now you were teaching biology and it was the last class before your break. You couldn't wait for a good cup of coffee while you put your feet up on the table and relax. Maybe even play some music in your headphones, for the full experience.

When the bell rang, you breathlessly smiled at the students and wished them a nice day. You grab a few books that helped you teach and left the classroom, straight to the teacher's cabinet. It's a room where are meetings and all the teachers meet even during breaks.

When you walked in, you were in for a pleasant surprise.

Logan with his feet up on the table and a mug of coffee in his hand. You smirk as you glance at him, putting your things on the table. “’m starting to think these little breaks are the only reason you teach”

He chuckled, leaning back in his chair while watching you turn on the caffee machine. ”You caught me. The kids? Just a bonus. But spending time here with you? Definitely makes the day worth it” you could feel his eyes glued your back.

You smiled teasingly as you turn around to face him.“Oh, so you’re saying I’m the real highlight of your day? I had no idea I had that effect on you” of course you knew that.

Logan grinned, his eyes sparkling while looking at you through his dark eyes. “I thought it was obvious. You’ve been distracting me all day. Not that I’m complaining...”

You raise an eyebrow, walking to him a little closer “Oh really? And how exactly have I been distracting you? I’ve barely said a word to you today” you adored this banter, your pulse increased whenever Logan spoke and he knew that.

He playfully lowered his voice “You don’t need to say anything. You’ve got that look, you know? The one that makes me forget whatever lesson I’m teaching.” He was driving you crazy but you kept your cool. You learned that after all these months with this heartthrob.

You laugh softly, tilting your head “Hmm… I think you’re just looking for an excuse to be distracted. But I can’t say I mind the attention” you smoothly turn around on your heel, grabbing your mug full of that brown liquid.

Logan leaned in his chair a little closer, his voice teasing “Well, if I’m going to be distracted, I’d rather it be by you. Though, if you want me to focus, you might have to step in and help keep me on track”

You smiled mischievously, eyes sparkling with playful viciousness “Oh, I’m sure I can find ways to help you…focus. But that depends, what’s in it for me?” You sway your hair softly, leaning against the counter.

He grined tilting his head while his eyes were full of sin images. “Hmm, how about this? You help me stay focused during the day, and I’ll make it worth your while after hours. Dinner, drinks… your choice.”

You bit your lip playfully, the thought of Logan inviting you on a date doesn't sound bad at all, even tho you have only professional relationship “Tempting offer. You’re really working hard to get my attention, aren’t you?”

Logan just smiled confidently, his dick twitching in his pants at your risky attitude “Oh, I’ve had your attention for a while now. I’m just making sure you know I’m worth yours”

A playful grin appeared on your face, taking a sip of coffee before talking again. “But don’t think you’ve got me wrapped around your finger just yet.”

Logan keep his smirk on his face, locking eyes with you “Oh, I’m not worried. I’ve got a feeling it’s only a matter of time. And I’m patient… when I need to be.” You bit your lip again, as your mind filled up with scenarios where Logan needs to be patient and god bless you, they were naughty.

“We’ll see about that, Logan. Keep working on it, and maybe you’ll get your chance.” A soft scoff escaped from his lips, as he kept eye contact with you. You took a sip from your coffee when suddenly, Storm walks in.

You both turned your heads towards the door and as soon as she saw you both, she started apologizing. "Oh sorry I didn't know you are in here" "It's okay, I gotta go anyway..." you grab your things from the table, giving Logan a devilish smile.

When you were ready to leave, Storm stopped you, whispering in your ear. "Did you fuck already?" you tiredly exhale and shake your head, but couldn't stop smilling. When you finally left, you felt butterflies in your stomach and goosebombs jumped all over your body. Talking with Logan is definitely an experience.

You went to your office where you exchanged some books and got ready for the next class. Suddenly you hear a soft knocking. You look behind your shoulder and said “open!”, curious who is behind the door. When Charles appeared in them a slight disappointment awoke in you, because you wanted to see there someone else, but your smile didn't leave your face.

"Hi Charles, you need somethin'?" you asked after you moved your head back in front, focusing on books laying on the table. Charles closed the door and walked closer to you. "Yeah...you have a lesson now right?" you nodded and fully turned around to face him.

"Don't worry, I won't bother you for long" with those words he handed you a small poster. You gave him a confused expression before you took it and explored it.

MUTANT PARTY TOMORROW was written at the top with the biggest font they could use. You couldn't help but lift up your corners a bit as you read the title. "So a party huh?" you asked but keeping your eyes still glued on the poster.

Xavier nodded and watched your eyes go from left to right, reading every piece of information that was there. "The invitation is also for teachers" he added and you nimbly lift your head up with excitement in your eyes. "Really? That means that I am invited too?" Charles just nodded with a grin and you tried your best not to hug him so tightly, until his organs explode.

Charles scoffed suddenly and you frowned. "Stop reading my mind" you hissed bitterly and he just looked down, with that stupid grimace on his face. "I'll be happy to see you there" he added and left, finally leaving you freedom to show off your happiness.

You jumped few times and quietly screamed, before you returned back to reality. You fixed your clothes and hair quickly, grabbed your teaching supplies and headed off like nothing happened.

You don't even know why you're so excited about some school party for teenagers. You probably miss those years when you went to the club every weekend with your friends and danced your soul away. Now is your chance to go back to those years, even if it won't be the same, it's still a party.

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The school was silent now, all the students tucked away in their rooms for the night. You’d slipped out of the hallway, your steps quiet as you made your way to your room. The evening had been long, and you were ready to sink into bed when a familiar voice caught your attention.

Logan was casually leaning against the doorframe of his own room with a toothbrush in his mouth, his voice low and inviting. “Hey… heading off to bed already?”

You turned towards him, a smile tugging at your lips as you caught the glint in his eyes. Logan looked relaxed, his sleeping pants were loose and you could tell that he has nothing underneath, sending a pleasurable waves between your legs. His sleeping white shirt was tightly fit on his musculing body, emphasizing his biceps.

“I was. Why, do you have a better offer?” You said playfully, stopping near your room.

Logan smirk, his eyes roaming over you slowly before locking with yours. “Actually, I do. How about a drink in the kitchen? Unless you’re too tired for a little company…”

The suggestion hung in the air, the double meaning unmistakable. Something about the way his voice dipped on the last word sent a shiver down your spine.

You raised an eyebrow, pretending to consider it. “Hmm, I think I could make some time for a drink… as long as it’s interesting” you finished the sentence with a teasing smile, making Logan grin.

“Oh, I can promise it’ll be interesting” he said, dissapearing in his room to spit off the toothpaste he had in his mouth and before you blink again, he was back in the hallway, waiting for you to join him for walk.

You slowly peeled away from the wall and merge with Logan's footsteps, his eyes pinned on your body. He didn't care if you noticed he's checking you out, you knew it anyway.

When you walked into the dimly lit kitchen, the soft glow from the overhead light casting long shadows across the room. Logan followed close behind, his presence warm, almost electric, as he moved to the counter and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

He poured two glasses, his eyes flicking up to meet yours as he slid one across the counter toward you.

He then leaned forward, his voice was low and teasing. “So… what exactly does it take to keep you interested?”

You took a slow sip of the drink, your eyes never leaving his as the heat of the whiskey spread through your chest. The playful look in his eyes had your pulse quickening, and you leaned forward just enough to close some of the space between you.

“That depends. Are you up for the challenge?” You said with a sultry voice and teasing smile.

Logan chuckled softly, the sound deep and smooth, sending a jolt of anticipation through you. He stepped closer, just inches away now, his hand resting on the counter next to yours. The air between you seemed to thicken, the tension palpable as his gaze dropped to your lips for a split second before meeting your eyes again.

“Oh, I’m more than up for it” His voice husky, his breath brushing your skin. Your grin didn't leave your face.

“Are you sure? I can be a difficult beast to tame” You were a little surprised by your own words, but you loved the tension between the two of you. Your core started throbbing as he leaned just a bit closer, the space between you almost nonexistent now.

"Trust me, I can tame anything, even you" his eyes darkened and his grin fade into devilish smile. You felt your breath catch in your throat at his words, the raw intensity in his eyes sending heat pooling low in your stomach.

The tension between you was crackling now, both of you standing on the edge of something dangerous, something neither of you seemed willing to back away from.

However, your really lustful moment was interrupted by a student, who went to the kitchen. You both quickly moved away from each other and awkwardly cleared your throats.

Both of you were so lost in each others eyes, that you didn't even hear his footsteps. "Hey kid" Logan quickly turned the attention away from us and greeted the little boy who really judged you by his face. He kept his eyes on you the entire time, as he opened the fridge and took out an ice cream.

"It's pretty late don't you think?" You noticed how Logan tightly held the edge of the counter, his teeth clenched and his muscles flinched, he really wanted to get rid off that kid. "I can't sleep" he said and casually walked passed Logan to get a spoon.

Logan dropped his head down and shut his eyes, waiting for the kid to leave, but he lost his patience really quickly. "Hey, why don't you eat it in your room?" he snapped at him sternly and the boy was frozen for a moment, before he shrugged and finally left the kitchen.

You chuckle a bit, trying to cover it with your hand but Logan heard you very well. "Somethin' funny?" his voice was stern, but it didn't scare you. "No...no" you tried your best not to laugh when you looked into Logan's eyes again.

"You're a pain in the ass" he exhaled annoyed when he noticed your struggling and took a sip of his glass. You giggled and nodded, letting him know that you are aware.

"Are you goin' to that party tomorrow?" you asked curiously, your voice soft. You decided to change the subject and finally pick up some dignity. After all, you are at school and if only the boy came in a little later, who knows what he would have seen. It definitely wouldn't be professional.

Logan raised his eyebrows and looked at you. As he placed the glass on the counter, he finally answered. "You mean that 'mutant party'?" you nodded and he started laughing, annoyingly. It was a mockery of you for even asking.

You didn't move a nerve in your body and waited for Logan to calm down. "Are you serious?" he asked as he checked you and noticed your stern expression.

"Yes" you hissed and Logan spluttered again. You rolled your eyes and took a sip of whiskey, accompanying a tired sigh.

"You know it's a fucking teen-party right?" he kept giggling at you, making a fool of you. "And? Charles said he'd love to see me there" Logan immediately stopped smiling and finally got serious. "Charles?" He repeated his name to make sure you meant the same person. You nodded, taking another sip from your glass.

"Why the fuck would he want you there" you hit him with an offended face, but when you saw the jelousy in his eyes, you couldn't stay mad for long.

"What? Any problem with that?" you asked, your corner lifting up a bit as you saw Logan struggling to keep his rage under control. “No, I was just surprised” he said in his typical deep voice, but you knew very well that it wasn't true.

"Sure, well I'll come there anyway and I'll be happy to see you there too" you winked at him flirtatiously and took your and his empty glass to the sink. Logan just watched you with unreal lust and admiration, you were the apple of his eyes and the hope of all his desires.

How many nights did he stay up with only you in his head, how many lube did he use over the picture of your beautiful face, all that just for barely touching you in reality. He wanted more, if he could he would fuck you right now and then, but he knows it's not possible.

“Well, I should go to bed now…” you said as you put the glasses down. "But it was nice to have a drink with you" you turn around but your own words got caught up in your throat, as Logan suddenly appeared right in front of you, dangerously close. His eyes were dark, a mischievous grin appeard on his face and his hot heavy breath tickles your skin.

His chest almost touching yours and you gasped quietly when you felt his massive hands gently grabbing your weist. Without much effort he pulled you even closer to him, your inner thighs feeling his growing erection in his pants and your nipples, still covered by clothes, touching his chest. The only thing that was still quite far away were your lips.

You parted them, the throbbing between your legs was unbearable and Logan's provocation of his squeezing of your hips didn't help much too.

He tried to go as far as he could beyond the limits. "Come on, let's stop playin'" he whispered, leaning his face to your ear so you could hear better. "You think I don't smell the wetness in your panties right now?" you froze, not only did his husky voice bring goosebomps all over your body, but his words made your heart skip a beat.

You forgot that he is a fucking Wolverine, and can smell those kind of things, but how could you prevent it? That man can make you climax just by his voice.

Logan chuckles in your ear before moving his face back in front of yours, your noses almost touching. Your breaths were heavy, both of you were one inch away from ruining your professional relationship.

"I know you want it" his grin grew and his hands on your body gave you a light squeeze. Something about his palms on your hips brought you comfort and security, you felt safe with him. You felt like no one could hurt you, like you had superpowers too. It was an inexplicable feeling.

You were so lecherous, so lustful for Logan, for his wet lips, for his cock that makes his pants tight, for him. But after all, you had your conscience, which told you to let it go, to go to sleep, but your body wanted the exact opposite.

It was a fight against yourself, you lick your lip and try to think with your brain, but your body kept failing you. Logan's eyes keep switching from your lips to your eyes, deciding if he should already break the barrier, or wait for your first move.

Fortunately, your difficult decision was solved once again by the boy with the ice cream, who stepped into the kitchen. You pulled away from each other and looked around like nothing happened.

"Hey what you're doing here...again" Logan spoke through his clenched teeth, digging his fingers into the counter. He really wanted to get rid of that kid. "I was just returning the spoon" the poor boy looked confused and quite scared by Logan's expression. He was absolutely killing the boy with his eyes, even though it wasn't the kid's fault, that he always interrupted you. Maybe it was a sign that you simply can't be more than colleagues.

You smiled at the boy and tried to ease his nervousness a bit, but he was gone from the kitchen like a flash. You felt a little sorry for him, but you were too tired to blame Logan.

You yawned and decided to go sleep, finally. "Well, it's really late Logan" you informed him, slowly walking towards the door. "But thank you, for a beautiful evening" you glanced at him one last time and he let you.

Normally he would try to convince you or just simply run to you, grab you and hold you until your limit break and you kiss him, but he didn't do that. He was still leaning against the counter, looking at you through his heavy eyelids and his corners up. He knew nothing was going to happen today.

"Was it interesting, as you wished?" you chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, it was" your voice calm and sleepy, fully ready to drown into a web of dreams.

“Goodnight Lo” you gave Logan one last smile and walked away. You were both disappointed and a little grateful to be apart from each other. It was a really challenging evening, mostly for the psyche. Logan was impatient, waiting for you to break while you tried not to. You both deserve a long, uninterrupted and sweet sleep.

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The next day went smoothly. You had no problems with waking up, you picked your outfit easily, without throwing out all your clothes from your wardrobe and even the kids didn't make any troubles today.

These days are special and usually these things happen when some important event is coming up, which in your case, is that party.

Although you fell asleep quite easily yesterday, it took you a while. You tried to count sheep, as everybody said it helps, but your thoughts always stopped them. Thoughts about tonights party and Logan.

The moment when you were in the kitchen stuck perfectly in your head. His hands firmly gripping your hips as his hard cock teased you and prompts you to prioritize your sexual desires over rational solutions. That tiny distance between your lips, you kept wondering what would happen if you just broke it? How must his lips taste? He is definitely boss in kissing and you were a little disappointed you didn't find out yesterday.

Either way, you were getting a little annoyed with the way your brain kept going back to the image of Logan over and over again. Of course, you taught perfectly in class, as always, but it was much more difficult to stay on topic and not start yapping about something you definitely shouldn't talk about in front of the students.

When you finally had a break, you were in your office, correcting tests. You almost drew a line across of a whole paper, when you heard an aggressive knocking. When your heart calmed down, you shouted. "Come in!" your voice a little frustrated at the interruption, but not for long when you saw an excited Storm in the doorway.

She quickly closed the door behind her and hopped over to your desk like an excited bunny. "Am I disturbing?" She asked out of politeness, even though she didn't care. "Uh well, I'm correcting tests right now-" you innocently tried to give a hint, that you were busy at the moment, but Storm didn't even bother to catch that signal.

"You're going to that party tonight right!?" She was like your nine-year-old daughter, coaxing you to go carousel. You let out a exhausting breath and nodded your head, instantly getting a pitched squeal in response.

Even if you're not in the mood for her childish outbursts sometimes, Storm never fails to cheer you up, at least a little bit. Whether she makes you laugh with her behavior or just with her words, you always have to smile.

"Is Logan gonna be there too?!" you jumped a little in your swivel chair when Storm suddenly got serious and slapped her hands on the table. But the word Logan immediately brought you back to reality. The name was like some kind of trigger for all your emotions to activate.

You took a deep breath and pursed your lips into a thin line as you answered in a slightly mad voice. "I don't know" as soon as you said that you didn't even wait for Storm to answer and continued to write into the papers.

"What do you mean 'you don't know'? Didn't you talk to him?" You flinched slightly as you remembered last night and what Logan's title of the party. "I did. He said that 'It's a fucking teen-party'"

Storm rolled her eyes and grunted in annoyance. "Oh my god" she added looking at you, but you didn't react, you just silently agreed with her reaction. "So he's not going because it's a 'teen party'?" she asked you with disbelief in her voice and you just shrugged your shoulders unconsciously. "I really don't know. Maybe he'll come, maybe not.”

You said it so boldly as if you didn't care at all about Logan's presence there, but the reality was different. You wished and prayed to all gods that he would be there, that he would come and see you. Maybe the last night would repeat itself and maybe something could actually happen if he was there, but right now you have nothing else to do but hope.

"Well fuck him! Even without him you'll enjoy it, because you'll have me" you raised your head to look into Storm's eyes and give her a grateful look.

“Charles is supposed to be there too” you hinted subtly as you finished one paper and rushed to another. Storm froze for a second before she realized. "And how do you know that?" she raised an eyebrow, clearly suspecting you of something. You couldn't but giggle a bit, still paying full atention to the chimney of papers under your hands.

"He said he'll be happy to see me there, so I suppose-" Storm gasped loudly and slammed the table one more time, almost breaking it. "Are you kidding me?!" you shake your head and look up at her, her dramatic shocked expression made you chuckle more.

"But it doesn't mean anything, he just invited me there-" "It doesn't mean anything?! Are you serious?! He wants you so bad" these words were your last straw and you had to laugh. Maybe the burst of laughing was also caused by the little adrenaline in your body and the thought that someone other than Logan would want you. You couldn't lie, you kinda like the idea. It was exciting, it gave you confidence and even chills.

"Like come on! You can date a telepath!" Storm joyfully said with sparks in her eyes. "Storm, calm down-" you chuckle at her random energy boost, but inside you were a little afraid of her.

"I mean, on the other hand, Logan has big claws...maybe that's not the only thing that's big" you couldn't believe Storm's words. You quickly blinked at her a few times, before you shook your head from the shock.

"Okay you dirty minded whore, don't you have a class?" she thought for a second, before her eyes almost popped out of her dimples. "Shit!" was her last shout before she flashly disappeared from your office.

"Crazy..." you slowly shake your head as you keep chuckling. Storms words were hanging in the air and every time your brain plays the image of her saying that you can date a telepath or the thing about Logan's claws, your heart surges with adrenaline and you have to laugh. You definitely have abs by now from the endless sniggering.

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The gym had been transformed for the party—soft lighting, music humming low in the background, and clusters of your colleagues mingling around. You felt the weight of the night disappear as you walked in, your dress hugging your curves in all the right places, a bit more daring than what you'd normally wear at school.

Logan was leaning casually against the far wall, talking to couple of teachers, but the moment you stepped through the door, his attention snapped to you.

His conversation faltered, and his breath caught in his throat. For a second, he could only stare, eyes tracing the shape of your dress, the way it clung to your body, revealing just enough to send his mind wandering. He’d never seen you like this before—confident, radiant, undeniably sexy.

As you made your way toward the drink table, Logan excused himself and crossed the room, his heart racing with each step. He couldn't tear his eyes away. You noticed him approaching, a small smirk playing on your lips as he finally reached you.

“Is this the same person who hides behind a stack of books and coffee mugs all day? Because I don’t remember you looking like this…” Logan said as he gently place his hand on your waist, his hand traveled around your belly as he walked around you. He wanted to touch you so badly, much more when you look like this.

You laugh softly, turning to face him with a knowing smile. “That's the charm of women. A little make-up and revealing clothes and see what a wretch you can make of a man" you looked confidently at Logan, as a cocky smile appeared on his face.

"You're right. You're absolutely right" his voice was low, his eyes traveling over you, lingering just enough to make your pulsw quicken.

You tilted your head slightly, enjoying the effect you’re clearly having on him. “I thought you wouldn't show up here” Logan furrowed his eyebrows at first, confused but then the puzzles in his head connected together.

"I thought this is a fucking teen-party" with this comment you made it even clearler to Logan why you are surprised that he is here.

"Yeah but I've decided to give it a try" he looked around before his eyes landed on you again. The angle of him being way taller than you, looking down at you was sending shivers down your spine.

Logan leaned closer, his voice dropping as his lips touched your ears. "But mostly I'm here because of you" you could feel the heat of his body, his presence almost overwhelming as he stood just inches away, his breath brushing your ear.

The room seemed to fade into the background, the soft hum of the party drowned out by the way Logan moves his head back, his eyes drinking you in. There was something about the way he looked at you now, with a hunger that makes a fountain in your panties

It took a while for you to regain all your senses back, but when it did, you were confident again, but still slightly nervous. After all, who wouldn't be nervous, if a big handsome man stood opposite you, with a sinful expression on his face.

"Fuck, I’m just wondering how long I can keep my cool with you looking like that” he licked his lower lip, his pupils widen and he curled his fingers into a tight fist, fighting all his demons and inner thoughts from touching you.

Your heart skipped a beat at the playful edge in his voice, your skin tingling with the unspoken tension between you. The air felt heavier now, charged with an attraction you both seemed to be dancing around.

“You’re doing a pretty good job so far. But I have to say, it’s fun watching you try” you grinned, your eyes sparkling with mischief.

Logan grinned back, clearly enjoying the banter. “Oh, I’m not trying. You’ve got me right where you want me” he leaned even closer to you, his rusty voice tickles your eardrums.

You raise an eyebrow. “And where's that?” voice softening as you hold his gaze, pure innocence in your eyes, while your mind was far from this word.

Logan paused for a moment, his eyes flicking to your lips before meeting your gaze again. His smile turned softer, more intense, as if weighing his next words carefully.

“Standing here, wondering what it would take for you to finally break the barrier of our professional relationship”

The tension between you was palpable now, the playful flirtation slowly shifting into something deeper, more dangerous. You could feel the pull between you, like an invisible thread drawing you closer, even though neither of you made a move. It was intoxicating, thrilling, the way you both hovered on the edge of something you weren’t quite ready to dive into, but couldn’t fully resist either.

"We'll see" you looked up at him with your corners up, all your skin covered in goosebombs, your body hot but not from the temperature in the gym, but because of Logan.

Neither of you moved, content to let the moment linger, the promise of something more hanging in the air. The night was young, but the tension between you was undeniable. It wasn’t a question of if something would happen, it was just a matter of when.

"Anyway, have you seen Charles here?" you looked around trying to find your target but Logan's dangerous silence caught your attention much better.

"Charles?" he growled through his teeth, clearly showing he isn't really happy about you mentioning another man in his presence. You find it cute, that he can't hide his jealousy and his possessive side shows easily.

"Yeah, I wanna talk to him" you nodded and started looking around again, almost stepping out as you saw a familiar figure, but in a second you move your leg, you felt a tight grip on your wrist.

You immediately snapped behind your hand and then looked at Logan. His eyes dark with a dire warning, his stern expression makes your legs flutter and cheeks hot. Before you could tell Logan to let you go, or do practically any interaction with him, Charles appeared to you.

"Hello" he said calmly, breaking your intense moment as you turn to face him. "Hi! I just wanted to look for you!" Your smile shined at Charles, with the purpose of provoking Logan even more. He just cleared his throat and nodded in greeting. Your teasing was more than successful.

"Oh really? Well here I am" you chuckle and quickly check Logan, who doesn't even flinch to look at you, his eyes were glued to Charles. Of course, every telepath knows what's going on in your head, so naturally even Logan's.

When he read his mind, his eyes widened a bit before he recovered.

"Well, I don't want to disturb you, I just wanted to thank you both for coming" he put his hands behind his back and smile. "You're not disturbing at all!" you throw your hand at Charles, Logan giving you a death glare.

"And we thank you that we can be here. It's very nicely decorated" you looked above yourself, where diamonds and blue stones were scattered, before glaring back at Charles. He looked a little nervous, but not because of your presence but rather Logan's.

"Okay well...keep an eye on the kids to avoid some accidents and enjoy yourself” Charles said with a deep sweet voice and with those words he left you and Logan alone again.

As soon as you turned around, Logan grabbed your waist and pulled you dangerously close to him. He didn't care if anyone saw you or if it was inappropriate, his wild side took over. You gasped quietly at the sudden movement and looked up into his lustful eyes. He didn't need to say anything, his face spoke for itself that he has no self-preservation anymore. All he needed was your permission and he would fuck you without hesitation, in front of everyone.

"You really think I didn't notice what you were doing?" his voice grainy and low, very similar to the voice of a wolf. His myschiev grin sends a passionate vibrations right into your core, which started throbbing immediately since Logan landed his hands on you.

You take a deep breath to calm yourself and your pulsing between your legs down, only for Logan to give you a strong squeeze, making you whine and drop your head. He scoff at your reaction and started picking on you. "Not so confident anymore, are we?"

You swiftly put yourself together and dare to look back at Logan's face. You put an effortless smile, trying hard not to melt into Logan's clutch.

"And what exactly was I doing?" You plaguinly yet innocently ask, knowing the answer damn well. Logan insidiously smirk, sensing your intentions. He leaned closer, so close that you could feel his heart beating on your chest.

“You’re playing with fire, and you know exactly how much I like the burn” he grunt, your tip of your noses practically touching and your warm breaths mixing with each other. Your pulse quicken, your whole body covered in goosebombs.

Before you could manage to give Logan an answer, your mind senses a loud cheering and screaming. Without delay you turn your head towards the noise, squeezing your eyes to have a better view.

There was a crowd, surrounded by someone. You couldn't really see who was in the center, but that doesn't change the fact that you must intervene. You and Logan looked at each other one last time, before quickly stumbling towards the cluster.

Logan was yelling at them from a distance but you were quiet and tried to move over the kids to the center as quickly as possible. Of course, Logan with his height had found it easier to free himself but that didn't stop you.

When you finally walked over all the kids to the crime scene, you saw two boys standing across from each other. They both looked pretty pissed and probably getting ready for fight. One had a blue hand, apparently wielding ice while the other played with fire in his palm. You recognize these trouble makers immediately. Bobby and John.

The whole school knows that these two really don't like each other. Every time they are together, they immediately start arguing and fighting. Not only do they make a mess, but they often gamble with their and others health This was not an exceptional situation.

Since Logan quickly choose Bobby, you have no one left but John. You quickly stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Bobby and Logan. “Hi John” you put your hands ahead, giving him a clear sign you're surrendering. He looked even more upset when he saw you.

"Get out of my way" he snarled and made his flames on his hands much hotter. You were scared. Of course you were scared, you have absolutely no chance against him even if you wanted to. He could just touch you and you would turn into coal and powder instantly. Despite your fear, you had to calm down and stop the situation to avoid injury. That is the main reason you are here.

"Listen buddy, I know you and Bobby have some disagreements" John moved his head around you and huffed, trying to see over you but he had no chance. That makes him even angrier. "Get out of my way or you'll get hurt!" threatening, his favorite activity. "John just calm down-" you barely started to speak when John cut you off.

"No you calm down and listen to me! I can kill you in a blink of an eye and you'd be nothing but an atom! So get the fuck out of my way or I'll kill you for real" he started charging his flames, making your pulse quicken and hands shake from the dread. The worst part of all of this was, that he was absolutely right, he could make you vanish in a snap.

But you were brave and despite how much you wanted to run away, you still tried to save it. "Yes, you could kill me easily John but trust me, that won't drive your anger away" your voice softened, trying to play on emotions this time. "But I don't want that anger go away!" you quickly sense his body language going for a flame shot. You swiftly dodged, promptly looking where the fire went, so that no one would get hurt. Luckily it flies into empty space where no one was standing, but it was still a shock for you and your body. You started breathing heavily and turned around to face Johny again, who goes for another blast.

You were about to evade again, but this time it was too late. It flies right into your face and you were ready to accept your fate. You closed your eyes when you suddenly felt large hands on your shoulders, turning you around and pulling you sideways. Everything happened so fast that you didn't even have time to recover.

Your head was spinning, people's voices started fade into a loud murmur and everything suddenly slowed down. You saw Logan asking you something and he looked pretty worried but how could you answer him when you couldn't hear his words. He kept squeezing your arms to wake you up, his concerned face was more and more intense because you weren't answering him. He knew something was wrong but how could he know what, if you didn't speak.

You just looked at him dazed, as if you had just drank 3 shots of vodka and smoked weed on top of it. The thing that woke you up was a moment Logan stopped paying attention to you but to John. He looked at him really furiously, his nostrils were big and his clenched teeth were sharp, ready to bite. The world returned to normal speed, the muttering was now clear and you could finally speak.

As Logan stuck out his claws and was about to dash after John, you stopped him. "No! Logan!" you screamed as you placed your hand on his chest, fully stopping his motion. He looked at you, a spark of hope in his eyes as he finally heard you speak. "Are you okay?" he asked again, this time was probably the 30th try. "Yeah but don't do that" you quickly nodded and changed your hand placement on his knuckles, giving him a clear sign of what you meant.

He looked down at your hand, really fighting his every urge to run towards John, but your convincing eyes got him. He retracted his claws and nodded his head, before a reassuring smile formed on your face.

"Hey kid, get lost befote I do it myself" Logan warned John in a gruff voice, who at first looked like he was going to keep fighting until he extinguished his fire out of nowhere, turned around and walked away. You and Logan looked bemused at each other, so did everybody else, but everything makes sense after Charles appeared in the circle. He looked at Bobby, didn't control his mind but just gave him a ‘get out of here’ look and he obeyed him.

It was all too much for you. You were still kind of shocked, after all you faced your own death a few minutes ago in front of young people, who would definitely be traumatized. Not only that, but they could insurgend against teachers, which could cause an unwelcome war. Maybe it wouldn't happen, maybe it's just your unstoppable overthinking but you still felt incredibly anxious.

You needed to get out of there, you needed personal space to chill out, before you break down in front of everyone.

Logan was talking to Charles, you didn't catch what he was saying but that didn't bother you. You took the opportunity of the two of them not paying attention to you and ran towards ladies toilets.

Naturally, Logan was screaming your name as he notices you, but that didn't stop you. You knew he was running after you, and no offense but he has much better condition than you, so he could catch you easily, but you still managed to get to the toilets before he did.

You breathed heavily as you leaned your hands against the sink, head dropping down and eyes tightly shut. You tried to focus on your breath, but the memory of the flame right in front of your eyes kept hitting your mind. You couldn't control it anymore and tears were streaming down your face.

Before long, Logan shows up, ambling towards you straight away. You no longer had the energy to pretend and keep smiling, you let everything out.

"Hey hey shhh it's okay" Logan reassure you, as he grabs you into a tight embrace. He was rubbing your back slowly as you were sobbing into his chest. Your make-up was probably now plastered on Logan's t-shirt, but he didn't mind.

"It's okay princess, I'm right here" he whispered, his voice calm and low, making you feel safe. "I could've died" you stammered, still crying with eyelashes stuck together. "Don't say that" he put his hand on your head, caressing your hair.

He could smell your fear and feel your heart beating like never before. He felt so sorry for you, he wanted to help you and somehow transmit your fear into him, but that wasn't possible. Even so he wanted to help you and comforting was the only option here.

"It's fine now, you're safe" he kept brushing your hair softly, making goosebombs jump on your skin from that feeling. You were much calmer now, listening to his heart while his chest moves up and down under your head, it was like a psychiatric aid to relax and it worked.

After a while, you pulled away from Logan's breast and snuffle few times. Logan cups your cheeks right away and makes you look up at him. He checks your eyes, which were still filled with tears. This view of you like this stabbed straight to his heart.

He frowned sadly and rubbed his thumbs against your face. "Please don't cry" his voice was so soft, you never heard him like this before. "Please" his plea broke your knees and you almost cried even more, but you tried to be strong and think positive. You are alive and well, you have no injuries so why do you keep want to cry?

You didn't want to admit it, but you felt like you didn't belong at this school. Your fears at the beginning, when you started working as a teacher and practically join the x-men, were strong, but over time they eased…until now.

As if John actually told you that you have no point to be here because you will never fight back. You will never be stronger than mutants. The thought broke you again. "I don't belong here" you pursed your lips to indicate that you were driving on a thin ice to starts sobbing again.

"What? What are you talking about?" Logan gave you a confused look and caresses your cheeks with more pressure. "I am not a mutant, I am just a human who was almost killed by a child" you spilled out, tears falling from your eyes. "Oh princess I though we already talked about this" he sighed, giving you a gloomy look.

"It doesn't matter you're not a mutant. Of course you belong here! You're one of us now, whether you want it or not, you're x-men" he smiled at you, his voice sincere as his praise warmed your heart.

"Today was just a small mistake, nothing a cigar or a glass of whiskey couldn't fix" you laugh at his words and the fact that he's thinking about alcohol again.

"Yeah" you sniffled and nodded, while a big smile appeared on your face. "So don't ever think about this again alright? You're smart, you're strong and you're so fucking sexy" you felt your cheeks heating up, but you couldn't hide your face since Logan still held you.

"Stop I have to look like a total mess" you nervously chuckle and shake your head, trying to free your cheeks from his grip, but obviously that didn't work out.

"Mess? Are you kidding me?" he got your attention again. You looked at him like he was a holy angel, a treasure you've been looking for all your life and you finally found it, you looked at him so submissively, that Logan's dick started twitching in his pants. You have gorgeous eyes that drive him crazy whenever you hold eye contact for more than five minutes.

He looked deep into your eyes, his voice soft but full of conviction. “You're stunning, even now, especially now. Your eyes, even when they're teary, they're still the most captivating I've ever seen. And that smile...even when you're trying to hide it, it lights up everything around you” his laud was sending straight rays between your legs but also throughout your body. Your blood was boiling in your veins and you were red as a tomato. But Logan wasn't done.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, inside and out, even in moments like this. I'm here, and I see all of you... and I'm not going anywhere” this was the last straw to do what you've been dreaming of for so long. You break down barriers, throw aside all dignity and let your emotions take over. You quickly reach for Logan's neck and pull him right into your face, pressing your lips against his.

At first he was astounded, frozen in place with his eyes wide open. But when he absorbed the fact that you were kissing him, he immediately began to cooperate. He moved his hands from your cheeks to your hips and nimbly pulled you closer to him.

You ran your fingers through Logan's hair while he was squeezing your hips, making you whine into the kisses. Initially pliable, soft and smooth kisses where you both keep your hands at a certain area turned into rough, coarse and hungry bitting into the lips. Sad thoughs disappear in a snap when lust and need for Logan replaced them.

Both of you started groaning while keep gluing your lips against each other. You were starving for more, your hands smoothly moving from his neck to his back, ending up on his torso. Logan, on the other hand, couldn't get enough of you. The way your hands were exploring his body sends exciting waves directly into his veins on the dick.

Your body was full of thrill and anticipation, your core was throbbing and your panties were already soaking wet. Both of your hand movements were out of control, you reached out to each other wherever you could to feel the other's body and remember it well. However when Logan felt your arousal, he stopped controlling himself and he no longer thought with his brain but with his penis.

He growled loudly as the scent from your panties hit his nostrils and stopped kissing you. He was eagerly tearing off his shirt and you were helping him. A satisfied grin appeared on your face as you noticed Logan's lips being messy from your red lipstick. He didn't care, all he was focused on was getting the useless clothes off him as quickly as possible.

When you both manage to finally take off his shirt, he flashed you with his huge muscular body. The cherry on top of it all was that he was hairy, which just gave him points for attractiveness and made you even more horny.

You couldn't resist and ran your hand on his breast to the top of his pants. It was even hotter to touch. You let out an exciting gasp and Logan just giggled. "Like what you see princess?" he asked you with tease and you readily nodded your head. The image of this body fucking you on school toilets drives you wild.

You disorderly jumped at him and kissed him passionately while your hands unbuttoned his pants. Every time you've touched him his erection grew and he was eager to see your body too. That's why he didn't hesitate and grabbed your dress and lifted them up, but you stopped him.

"Not yet" you whispered with a smirk and continued unbuttoning his pants. His hands were still firmly on your hips, as his eyes curiously followed your every move. As soon as you stripped his pants off, seeing his erection begging to be free from his boxers, you gave him amused expression, before getting on your knees.

You took off the last fabric that separated you from seeing Logan in all his glory and dropped your jaw. He was fucking massive. You admired his bulging veins, his little hairs, his pink tip that was already a little wet. You could watch him all day and not get tired of him, but now you didn't have time for this.

Your mouth pooled with saliva while your pulsating was in insane speed. "Good girl" he gently grabbed your hair and waited for you to finally put him in your mouth. You didn't wait long and while you kept eye contact with Logan by looking directly up at him, you slowly lick his tip, making him shudder.

You repeated this few times because you just loved to provoke him. He was keep swearing under his breath but until you got to his limit. His grip on your hair tightened and lightly jerked your head to warn you. This time you took his signal seriously. You lick your lips and softly open your mouth. Wrapping around his tip you make him whine and struggle to keep eye contact with you. This was just the beginning.

You painfully slowly collected his length, your moans sending heavy vibration to Logan's cock, so that his growls got louder and he needed to lean against the sink with his hands. Your mouth was perfect, small and narrow, like it was made just for him. He knew he won't last long with you.

When you accomplish to take him more, your mouth was damn full. There was no way that you could fit him deep balls, so a little part was still left. Even so he was already brushing the back of your throat with his tip, desperately trying to stir up some friction.

His grip loosened as you slowly suck him, sliding your mouth on him like he was the most tasty lollipop you ever had and indeed he was. After a few motions you grab his base with your hand to help yourself a little, and started picking up the pace.

The combination of your hand and your mouth jerking him off at the same time was sending him to the edge rapidly fast. He always dreamed about this moment, you on your knees, looking at him while your mouth is full of his cock, this is just too good to be true.

Your mouth sometimes slipped off, as you try to breathe in, but you immediately pulled him back in. The wet, clammy sound began to surround the entire toilet and you both prayed that no one would come now. Logan's growl was harsher whenever his tip, already leaking with precum, touched your wet spongy throat.

After a while, you started deep-throat sucking him, moving your head as fast as your body allows. "Fuck" he throw his head back and massage your head, as you tried not to interfere him with your teeth.

He was close, his dick was twitching inside your mouth, his veins pulsating and his whining was choppy. His hips automatically thrusting into you as he tried to catch his climax already. Your eyes watery from the pressure while you felt a drop rolling from your panties.

The last few thrusts took place before Logan hissed loudly and plunged his cock deep into your mouth, making your gag reflex hit a bit but luckily, it wasn't serious. He burst into you, his seed hot and salty but also really sweet. You swallowed everything down to the last drop.

He moved into you few times, trying to catch his breath and ride out the orgasm. You allow him to do that, your lips still tightly wrapped around him, before he finally takes him out.

You admired his face, how tired and devastated it looked. God so many months and so many chances you always avoided and you could have this. His hot breath tickles your nose, as he keeps massaging your head, making you purr and leaned against his touch.

"Fuck you're amazing" he chuckled as he finally opened his eyes and looked at you. His pupils big and his eyes dark, his body full of testosterone as he tried to process the intense climax. You watched him quietly, eyes full of expectation and passion.

After Logan got some rest and regained his strength, he grabbed you and forced you to stand back on your feet. Without further ado, he pinned his lips to yours as he unzipped your dress. His movements were quick and gritty, as soon as he got his energy back he was ready for the next round.

He lost all his patience and interest in whether someone would catch you, when your dress gently fell on the floor, exposing your black sexy lace underwear. As if you knew this moment would come and prepared yourself.

Logan looked you over swiftly and grunted in excitement. "You're driving me crazy" he hissed before he aggressively started tearing off your bra and panties. All were gone in a second and you feel goosebombs creating on your skin and your body hair straightened up, as the cold fresh air touched your naked body. Logan was hungrily kissing you, fighting with your tongue and from time to time biting your already bloody lips. You really did drive him crazy.

You both breathed heavily and moaned into the kisses, as the impatience started being unbearable and you longed for much more intimate than just exploring each other's naked bodies with hands. You wanted his dick and he wanted your core, so why not finally indulge?

He turned you around and adjusted himself to enter you without any trouble. You were in front of the mirror, your lower stomach pressing into sink and you watched Logan's reflection, as he looked intently at your ass. He slapped you hard, making you whine loudly and held your hips.

After that, without further delay, he slowly started penetrate you. He was slow, enjoying the way your pussy was even tighter and wetter than your mouth but at the same time, respecting your pain.

You shut your eyes and dropped your head, despite the pain from his entering, your body automatically reacted and your ass moved backwards. Logan groans as you unintentionally pushed yourself against him, gaining more of him. He wasn't all the way in yet, but you already felt full, like there was no room for more, but he still continued and fit into you balls deep.

You let out a loud whimper as he spread your walls and throw your head back. Logan gentlemanly waited for you to get used to him, but his desire didn't allow him to wait long.

After a while, he started slowly and gradually moving his pelvis, stretching you even more. Your jaw dropped and whenever he pushed himself against you, your throat let out a sigh. Little by little he started to speed up his movements and pick up the pace as he strengthened his movements as well.

The clapping sound began to reverberate throughout the toilet and the atmosphere became stiff. Your unrelenting throbbing stopped right away, when Logan found your spongy cervix and began to hit that spot over and over again, making you seeing stars. You sighed his name while your eyes were still closed so that your brain could focus only on Logan inside you.

He noticed your eyes shut, but he needed to see them, how beautiful they shine in reflection of light and how pathetic you look at him. He grabbed your hair tightly and shook your head a little. "Open your eyes" a grunt in his voice as he was thrusting headlong into you.

You struggle a bit to open them, since your eyelids were really heavy, but somehow you manage to do it. You look at yourself, sweat forming on your forehead, boobs moving rhythmically with Logan's thrusting and you keep rolled your eyes, because the pleasure was now indescribable.

However, you weren't just curious about yourself and you had to look at Logan too, who was mercilessly hitting the right spot inside you. His teeth clenched as he looks at the part you two were connected. His face expression really focused and passionate, while he still held your hair firmly. He flicked his eyes at you in the mirror, smirking as he realized you were watching him the whole time.

He couldn't get enough of you. You were the goddess of all his desires and needs, you were the goddess of orgasm.

He lost his control in his lower body and just instinctively slapping your ass by his lower stomach. Your mind was turning off as you felt dizziness hitting. At the same time, your vision got worse and you saw nothing but blurriness, it was no longer worth keeping your eyes open.

You scream Logan's name as you start feeling the weird urge to pee, your walls clenching against him, making him closer to his edge too. You were both huffing, moaning and grinning. Your overwhelming feeling started kicking in and you slowly stopped feeling nerves in your legs.

Logan sense you are getting close, but he wanted to see your face closely when you're gonna cum. In few quick moves, he pulled out of you, turned you around, grabbed your legs and pushed into you again. Your shock from the sudden position change was immediately replaced by the urgent feeling of cumming.

Before you could warn Logan, you tense your body, trembling until you let everything out and finally release.

A chill ran down your spine when your core pulsates and Logan still hurshly thrusts into you, until he cum too, definitely in a much dramatic way than you. His groan must've been heard miles away.

He dropped his forehead to yours, closing his eyes and desperately trying to catch his breath. You also had a problem with oxygen in your lungs and your head was still spinning from that intense climax. Last time you had sex was months ago, you even forgot what it's like.

Logan chuckled as his eyes were still closed, trying to come back to his senses and you had to laugh too.

Suddenly you heard a door opening. You both snapped and turned your heads towards the sound. Of course, there was none other than Storm standing there.

At first she surprisingly didn't notice you, but it didn't take long for a shocked expression to appear on her face. "Shit I'm sorry..." she quickly grabbed the handle and closed the door, only for opening it again. "I'm sorry?!" she looked at you with huge devilish smirk with a teasing and surprised voice.

"Get out!" Logan scream at her, which was a bit mean but on the other hand, you get it. You were sharing the most intimate moment and Storm was just scanning you breathlessly.

"Fine fine…" she obediently closed the door slowly, giving you a thumbs up before closing it completely. You laugh and Logan just shakes his head. "She won't stop yapping about it" you said and Logan grunted in agreement. "She's our biggest fan" his voice was crusty and low, his wolf tone melted your heart.

Well, if Logan is going to calm your fears like this every time, then you're afraid you won't be able to ever walk again.

"Shouldn't we go back?" you asked with huge puppy eyes and Logan scoffed annoyingly. He really didn't want to leave your warm body and go back among those pesky kids.

He loved your presence and wished he could hold this moment forever. But that didn't happen and after a few minutes, you plucked up the courage. Both of you got dressed and put yourselves together, before casually walking out of the toilets like you just weren't missing for about half an hour.

You quietly walked consecutively and when you returned back to the hall, luckily, no one noticed you. "I'll go grab some whiskey" he leaned to your ear and tickles you by his voice, before smacking your ass and walking away. You gasped and incredulously shook your head with a pleasing grin.

You watched Logan slowly disappear into the crowd and let out a satisfied sigh.

The only thing you regret was that you didn't break down these barriers sooner and thus find out how damn good he is at pleasing a woman. You couldn't wait for him to show you what else this maniac can do.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[bakugoushotwife]

blessing and curse

summary: yuuji is a wonderful boyfriend...you just wish he was able to fuck you... warnings: post shibuya, aged up duh, yuuji struggles with ptsd, night terrors, as well as anxiety, you both see therapists, oral (fem receiving), penetrative sex, fem!reader, pet names, (pretty girl, baby, cutie, etc), rough sex. wc: 3k a/n: this is my first yuuji piece nom nom nom i'm actually obsessed and soaking wet tbh i'm thinking thoughts for yuuji.........anyway to my lovely requester i hope you enjoy this <;3 jjk masterlist here

yuuji feels things very intensely. it’s a blessing and a curse, though the latter is more often experienced than the former. guilt, loss, regret–all things that nearly swallowed him whole while he fought for his friends and the people of japan–for the whole world. it’s so hard to be him, to live with what he carries on his shoulders–on his soul. he’s unloveable. he’s the one who caused all of the pain—things would have been easier if he died. there’s a number of people whose lives ended because of and for him. he was only just adjacent to a murderer. months after the fighting ceased and the war was won, he would wake up numerous times through the night with night terrors. he couldn’t even call them nightmares because they weren’t fabrications of his imagination. they were all too real memories that kept making their rounds–reminding him that he would be forever burdened with a layer of hell no one else could claim to know about. 

he met you in the waiting room of his therapist’s office. he remembers seeing you and wondering what you could be talking to his specialist about. it meant you also had to be a sorcerer—clearly he couldn’t see a normal one about his specific traumas and baggage, and apparently neither could you. he remembers not even knowing you and his heart still hurting for the pretty young girl that must be hurting like him. he remembers hoping that you hadn’t been through anything like what he had—the anxious voice in the back of his mind wondering if somehow he caused your pain via sukuna’s rampages or the destruction and death that followed him. he remembers you meeting his eyes on a seemingly unremarkable thursday afternoon, catching him in the middle of one of his staring way too long episodes. you narrowed your eyes and tilted your head at him in amusement. 

the rest was easy. you were easy to talk to, to admire, to hold, to love. you made him feel intense things in a good way–in a way he had nearly given up on. his world had slowly become a mixed palette of blacks and whites and muted grays–but your smile brought color back. your touch made vivid purples and yellows; your laughter the brightest of pinks and the most warm oranges. you became the blessing where he was the curse, the savior of a damned man bound to paint on smiles and pretend that sacrificing his soul and everyone he’s ever loved was worth it. now he felt unimaginable comfort and love by getting to know you. his smiles weren’t so fake anymore—and the only things that woke him in the night was losing you. truly the only fear that yuuji itadori has left: cursing his blessing. 

you thought he was the best boyfriend around and an even better man. you’ve slowly but surely unraveled the reason he was visiting the therapist through his eventual opening up to you and telling you just a fraction of what he’s experienced in his life and you can understand his intimacy issues. see…yuuji is easy to love. he’s wonderful, attentive, sweet, careful, strong and chivalrous. but he won’t fuck you. you’re too nervous to push him any further—all too aware of his fears of letting anyone in, of loving and showing that in ways that make you vulnerable. he’s all too conscious of what it would mean—of the danger he would be putting you in.

there’s been many times here lately that you’ve thought that line will finally be crossed—heavy petting and make-outs that get you squirming in his lap and soaking through your panties. it always goes this way, no matter how innocent the two of you try to keep your dates. move night, game night, even cooking together ends up with yuuji’s tongue down your throat and his hands under your shirt. tonight is no different, some youtube video plays in the background—a forgotten video game walkthrough that yuuji had been paying careful attention to until you leaned in to rip it away with those teasing kisses to his jaw. you know exactly what buttons to press after four months of nothing past second base driving you to a point of restlessness. 

you just wanted him to see your perseverance. you would do this for as long as it takes, anything to prove that you’re here to stay. you want to make him comfortable enough to tear those walls down—the ones that make his eyes flutter shut and his hands fist at his pants in order to keep them to himself. his eyes close to will himself to concentrate on something–anything—other than the feeling of your warm lips tracing his pulse, smooth fingers sliding under his shirt to outline the dips and muscles of his torso. it’s not that he doesn’t want to this, he craves you like nothing ever before. your touch is the medicine bringing him back to life, but he can’t allow himself to ruin you—taint you. but as you move into his lap and change your kisses to more intense nips and sucks at his skin, his body betrays his mind. he can feel the blood rush to his cock as your thighs trap him beneath you, and he moans out at the same time you do. the pressure of your clothed cunt sitting against his needy dick has his hands moving before he can tell himself to stop. he grabs your waist, accidentally and automatically rutting up against the friction you offer with a hiss. 

“fuck, cutie.” he groans, your lips covering his parted and pouty ones to keep him from protesting further. his fingers only dig into your side as the two sides of his mind argue with each other. he wants you badly, your body slotted against his perfectly and the way you kiss him like you’re trying to touch his soul drives him crazy. anyone with a girlfriend as hot as you would be a fucking idiot to keep denying himself of her. his hands knead the warm flesh of your body as an instinct, his body knowingly responding to your advances. his tongue slides over yours in a frenzy, his head becoming fuzzy as saliva trails down his chin—something in him telling him to stop when his hands slide upwards to palm your chest. you cry out at the feeling—so starved for his affection that you know you’re soaking wet already. just his rough hands scraping over your sensitive nipples sends you into rutting rhythmic circles of your hips over the tent in his pants, breaking your sloppy kiss in order to remove your shirt fully in a silent show of what you wanted to happen next. 

“aw baby—you know i can’t,” he whines, his lips swollen and even pinker than usual. he drops his hold to your hips, making comforting circles over the bone beneath his grasp. your face drops to instant heartbreak and he can feel his own heart try to rip itself apart for making you so sad. he never thought about how this must affect you, a woman with needs and desires for her boyfriend. he knows this can’t last much longer or he’ll lose you anyway. the room is just a mixture of your heavy breathing and the monotone droning of the tv for a few moments, and then you whine in retaliation, picking up his hand and moving it back to your breast. you search his eyes, seeing the fear flickering in those brown embers of his. you just need to show him there’s nothing to be scared of, that you need him worse than you need the oxygen in this room and would do anything for him today and forever. 

“yuuji,” you gasp out in such a voice that he knows he won’t be able to hold back this time. four months of seeing your body in your cute date outfits and in his shirt after you’ve spent the night; the feeling of your curves under his fingers as he guides you to the safe side of the sidewalk or the swell of your hip as he guides you through the door he’s just opened—four months of draining his balls after he’s sent you home with nothing more than a few wet kisses and tit-squeezes. the way your eyes shine like you’re about to cry if he denies you one last time…it’s too much. “please—i need you,” you breathe out, reaching those gorgeously soft hands out to sweep against his cheeks, to plead with him to be a good boyfriend. he can’t make you suffer any longer—”i need you so bad yuuji, please don’t push me away…i’m your forever girl!” 

oh fuck. he might cum in his pants from hearing that alone. suddenly, silence falls upon his mind. he can only hear the echoes of your cries for him–no more voices in his head arguing about the best way to continue, only you. a guttural groan rips from his throat and he stands with your legs wrapped around his body, a broad hand snaking up your back to keep you pressed against him. you squeal a little at the sudden shift and the deep growl that he let out, his face now devoid of that playful man you’ve come to love. he looks so focused, so serious, his brow furrowed as he looks over your face. 

“i’m sorry i made you wait so long, pretty girl.” he nods, letting your body bounce on the bed as he’s set on immediately removing the remainder of your clothes. he pulls you to the edge, legs dangling over the sides. you almost think it must be too good to be true, sitting up on your elbows to catch a glimpse of that ravenous fire consuming his previously kind eyes. he’s leaned back to peel his own clothes off, but his eyes never leave your body. he looks over your lip pinched between your teeth to your pebbled nipples to the glistening slick coating your inner thighs. he doesn’t even know where to start, but he’s going to ensure that you’re finally taken care of. “i’m a dumbass—thought i was keeping you safer like that.” he mutters, leaning over to kiss the space between your ribcage. he makes his way to your jaw, licking a hungry stripe between your breasts and claiming your neck with bruising nips at the delicate flesh that greeted him. 

you’re set to mewling immediately, the flip switched in your boyfriend making you rub your legs together in anticipation. he chuckles and you can feel him smile against your skin as his hand snakes down to keep you from squirming. he quickly pecks your lips. “m gonna make it up to you now, baby girl.” his eyes are wide, but glazed over with affection. you nod, feeling his strong fingers dig into the supple flesh of your thigh to keep you from closing them, his abs raking over your sensitive clit as he lowers himself to his knees at the foot of the bed. your face burns as you realize what he’s going to do, but he doesn’t give you time to think about it before turning your mind to mush from the feeling of his fat tongue splitting your lips apart and breaching your tiny hole. he seems pleased by the way you react—back arching off the bed and hands gripping at the sheets from the surprising burn. it’s a good burn, the kind you’ve been craving for the months you’ve been with a man who loves you like he does, your wanton moans just cementing that his choice was the right one. he’s growing addicted to this already; your flavor on his tongue, your moans echoing in his ears and your thighs pressing in to the sides of his face. he feels your silky walls clamp down on his tongue, making his eyes roll back at the thought of putting his dick in something so tight. he slurps at the arousal slipping out, sliding his tongue to the hardened bud waiting at the top of your cunt. he wraps his tongue around your clit, making you jolt at the sudden increase in sensation. it’s amazing—goosebumps prickle out over your skin and you reach down to tug at the silky pink locks woven between your fingers. you can feel every nerve running through your body and how it builds with a fiery pleasure that you know only yuuji can give you. “oh my god—yuuji!” you cry out as that pleasure mounts to a tipping point. his teeth scrape against your hood to encourage you to fall over that line so he can see what he’s been denying you of for four achingly long months. 

you make the sweetest face when you cum, it has him closing a fist around his own dick to calm himself—the promise of having your pussy making him jerk at his own touch. you even sound so pretty as you shatter, legs jerking and your grip on his hair yanking almost painfully hard. it only makes yuuji smile wider, feeling a bubbly sense of satisfaction ripple in his own gut from making you feel so good. 

“nngh, yuuji–” you whine, your vision returning to normal after a few seconds of respite. he’s already pushing you back to the pillows, manhandling you into the bent position he wanted. you’re on your back, knees by your ears and a boyfriend giving you no time to be anxious about the angry and leaky horsecock sliding through your folds. you thought he was a sweet man, and maybe he still is–but his own excitement to have you has him forgetting his normal chivalrous behavior. “fuck–yuuji!” you claw at his biceps, fighting against that true splitting burn. his tongue was nothing compared to the girth he pierces you with—and he’s smiling so tenderly at your wiggling and struggling. 

“s’okay, cutie. you can take it, you’re already taking it!! didn’t you ask me to?” he raises a brow, face flashing with mock-confusion as your hands shove at his chest, all in an effort to get used to the feeling of him inside you. his thumb brushes your cheek, his other hand keeping the back of your thigh shoved back. “nyeh—you begged me! come on pretty girl–you gotta loosen up!” he laughs airily, moving the hand from your face back down to pinch and roll your aching clit. you jump at first, the touch sending another jolt of pleasure circulating to your brain–and then you relax enough for him to move. he’s got you folded in such a way that you can hardly breathe–or maybe that’s from how he slams into you recklessly, tip catching on your poor, innocent, cervix each time. it hurts, it burns everywhere—but it’s the best feeling in the world. his breathing grows ragged once he settled into a pace, brutally slamming into you in a way that led you to believe he wasn’t doing this on accident. 

soon, your hands around his biceps slip to your sides, eyes lulling into a pleasure-induced haze. you watch him, the twitch of his nose and the way his hair gets curly once it sticks to his forehead from his sweat. he’s perfect, and he’s finally giving you all of himself, really devoting himself to you, conquering any fear. you don’t mind if you’ll be bedridden for the next week—feeling his heavy cock in your chest from how hard he ruts into you—it would be well worth it to hear his grunts and whimpers of satisfaction, to feel the bruising grip he has on your body like he’s afraid you might disappear. it’s all so good, and exactly like you craved. “there she goes—takin’ it like a champ now!” he cheers you on, panting a little as he leans over your body and grabs the headboard, deepening his angle as if he wasn’t already fucking you brainless. 

the new angle makes your jaw drop in absolute earth-shattering bliss. you two could be the only people left on earth and you would never know—to consumed in yuuji itadori to notice anything else. you’re back to pawing at his chest, the coil in your gut building rapidly as he fucks into you like his life depends on it. you wanted everything, he’ll make sure he gives you everything. the headboard creaks, the bed moans with you and you truly do worry he might break it for a split second–but his broken moan of your name swallows up any wandering thoughts. a bead of sweat slides down the slope of his nose before it drops onto your cheek, the evidence of his hardwork. he moans your name again, warning you that the end was approaching. you nod as he moves your legs to his shoulders, leaning as close as possible to wrap you in his arms and kiss you in short, desperate bursts. he treasures you more than he thought possible, that look you give him right before your eyes roll back into your head from your orgasm makes his own dick jump within your vice-grip of a cunt. you make that sweet face again, a face he knows he’s hooked on—your pussy spasming around him to welcome his fat load gets him to make his own kind of special and beautiful face, lip between his teeth and adam’s apple bobbing at the same pace his balls slap into your backside. you swear you can feel his heart beating, his lungs filling and emptying as he flattens his chest to yours and fills your guts with his loving cum. he keeps thrusting even after he’s done, just watching your face contort and shift, your body bouncing in his arms. he likes the ache of overstimluation, and loves the way you mewl and hug him, eyes all sleepy and far away. 

“that’s it, you did it, so so good.” he praises in a soft tone, kissing your lips and then your nose and then your forehead with equal adoration. “can’t believe i kept us from feeling like that!” he shakes his head, kissing your cheeks to continue showering you in his love if not to keep you awake. he sits back up and slides out of you, quickly snatching his t-shirt up to catch the spillage. it’s hot, watching his seed trickle from your abused pussy—he whines a little at the sight, puppy dog eyes flickering over your body as if to wonder if you could take another round…

now that you’ve gotten him to start, you may never get him to stop.

[darkbluekies]

I have a request: insecure s/o is feeling down about their appearance, chubbyness and overthinking too much. Yandere preferable Silas/Dr. Kry is trying their best to comfort them ( 〃▽〃)

Silas & Dr Kry drabbles: darling feeling insecure about their appearance

Yandere!mafia x reader x yandere!doctor

Warnings: talking about weight, insecurity about appearance

A/N: I tried my best to not go into it too much because I know that it can be sensitive. I've tried to focus more on the comfort part<3

Silas

He opens the door too quickly. You flinch and try to hurry to wipe your tears. Wasn't he supposed to be out on a mission?

"I forgot my fucking keys-", he starts, but cuts himself off. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing", you whisper with your head turned away, hoping that he won't see your tear stained cheeks.

"Don't 'nothing' me, sweetheart. I fucking know when something's up."

He walks over to you and crouch down next to you on the floor. You flinch in fear and try to twist your head away, but he grabs it in his rough hand.

"Why are you crying, baby?" he asks , wiping your cheek with his thumb. "Tell me."

"I don't look good", you whisper in shame. You've been drowning yourself in the thoughts for so long that saying them out loud makes you embarrased. Escpecially when Silas looks at you with that look in his eyes — mezmerized by you.

He can't believe what you're saying, has to have a doubletake. "What?"

"... I don't look good."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He rises to his feet and pulls you up on your feet, forcing you in front of the mirror.

"Do you see this?" he asks, gesturing with his hand towards you. "What about this does not look good?"

"My- ... my ... everything."

His jaw drops. "You've lost it. Little thing, you're absolutely magical? I can't even believe that you are real sometimes, and you dare think like this? I don't ever want to hear you talk shit again, not about my husband/wife, do you hear that?"

New tears blur your vision. You try to hold in the sob, but it aches throughout you. Silas turns you around and hugs you tightly as you cry against his collar bone.

"You're absolutely perfect", he tells you and strokes your back. "I don't want anything else than what I'm holding in my arms right now, do you understand that? I don't ever want you to think these idiotic thoughts again. I love you so much, for fuck sake. Oh, it hurts me to see you so upset. Baby ... you know what, I'll stay home tonight, my second in command will have to take my place. I can't let you be alone when you're mean to yourself. I will make sure that you know about how perfect you are until you believe me ... I don't care if that takes a week straight."

Dr Kry

"Doctor?" you ask quietly.

"Yes?" he asks and looks up from his check up list.

"Can we not ... check the weight today?"

He frowns. "Why?"

You squirm and avoid eye contact. Dr Kry sighs and puts down the paper on his desk.

"Have you been thinking things you shouldn't while I haven't been in your room?" he asks suspiciously. "In that case I want you to tell me now so that I can fix it."

"I don't like myself", you mumble and tug at your hospital gown. "How can I feel good when I look like this?"

"That's what it's about. I see." He takes your hands in his. "Y/N, look at me."

You glance up at his blue eyes through tears.

"Listen to me when i tell you this", he starts and wipes your tears, "you are perfectly good right where you are, okay? If the hospital gown makes you feel worse I will get you some pajamas or sweatset, okay?"

"It's not just that. My body ..."

"Oh, stop it. There's nothing wrong about your weight, Y/N. Nothing at all. Nothing wrong about you at all ... well, besides the reason why you are in the hospital. But nothing wrong about you aestethically. Personally, I think you are very attractive."

You blink in disbelief. "What? No."

Dr Kry smiles halfly. "Yes, I do. Listen, I don't want you thinking such nonsense about yourself, okay? And if you ever do, I want you to tell me so that I can reassure you of how good you are. You have nothing to worry about, this is all in your head, okay? Say it with me. 'It's all in my head'."

"It's all in my head ..."

"Good job."

To your surprise, he hugs you. The doctor who hates physical contact, actually hugs you.

"I know that the hours in here can become long and repetitive, but you mustn't let it affect how you think about yourself, okay? I think that you are absolutely perfect the way you are. You don't have to change anything."

He squeezes you tighter, persistent that he will make you see yourself the way he sees you — absolutely magnificent.

[beenbaanbuun]

Hey!! I just read your most recent Addams!MATZ fic and the angst is DELICIOUS. Your talent for writing is incredible and your creativity really shines through with each and every fic. The fluff, angst, and even the smut are so wonderfully well done, you're one of my favorite ATEEZ writers.

If you're up to it, and feel free to ignore this, but I'd love to see a part two to the angst Addams!MATZ where seonghwa talks to hongjoong and hongjoong comes to apologize. If that's not something you see yourself continuing, I completely understand!

Make sure to keep yourself healthy and hydrated and get plenty of rest.

thank you for the compliments!!! they mean the world to me. i’m glad that my passion for writing and my love for these boys shines through in my work. here is a continuation <333

——————————————————————————

seonghwa doesn’t even bother to knock before barging into his husbands office. yes, he thinks anger is an ugly emotion, but that doesn’t mean he is immune to it. in fact, it’s the only thing running through him as he steps through the doorway and slams the heavy slab of oak behind him. hongjoong hasn’t shown you the courtesy of being polite; why should seonghwa show his husband the same.

upon hearing the bang of the door, the overworked businessman turns around, pen still in hand and glasses low on his nose. he was half expecting to see your feisty little self again, but instead he’s met with the sight of his husband. if it weren’t for the sneer that twisted up his husbands pretty face, he might’ve explained the same thing he’d tried explaining to you. something tells him that seonghwa wouldn’t have appreciated being told ‘i’m busy, i’ll come and talk to you when i’m finished designing these pieces.’

“what’s wr—” hongjoong doesn’t even get to finish before seonghwa cuts him off with a scoff and a petty roll of the eyes. it’s hardly like him to wear his emotions on his sleeve, and yet hongjoong can see each one of them clear as day. hurt, anger, disappointment; emotions that he never wants anyone he cares about to feel. his heart sinks just a touch as he realises who those emotions are aimed towards.

“you are a piece of work, hongjoong,” seonghwa spits, sounding beautiful even with venom laced through his voice. hongjoong knows that’s the last thing he should be thinking right now, but he can hardly help admiring his husband, even when he is seething. it takes the man a second or two to knock himself free of the love-induced haze and allow the words to sink in. “do you think you’re in the right for yelling at our darling? do you think that just because you’re overworking yourself it gives you the right to make her cry?”

hongjoong’s world comes to a standstill. the clock on the wall stops ticking, the heart in his chest stops beating, and most importantly, for the first time in weeks, the brain in his head stops thinking. finally, finally, it’s no longer filled with a myriad of complex ideas, each one overlapping yet individual in its own right. finally he just has one singular thought. it’s just a shame it isn’t a good one.

he made you cry…

hongjoong made you cry…

it repeats in his head, over and over like a mantra. it taunts him, the idea that he’d upset you so much feeling like nails on a chalkboard. his hairs stand on end and his breath catches in his throat. lord below, what has he done.

“where is she?” his voice is weak, pathetic, nothing like he usually sounds. seonghwa has to admit that his resolve takes a hit when he hears it leave his loves mouth. he reminds himself to remain strong; your pain is his priority right now. “seonghwa, please—”

“take a guess, hongjoong,” seonghwa replies, once again cutting his husband off. this time it wasn’t out of anger but of fear that he might cave if he has to listen to hongjoong’s heartbroken pleas for much longer. the pained look on his face is enough to send seonghwa’s heart into overdrive; he doesn’t need any more distractions from the real reason he’s here. “where might you usually find her when she isn’t with one of us?”

the rug in front of the fire—jongho.

hongjoong almost feels ashamed that he even had to ask; he should’ve realised the second you silently left his office that you’d gone to seek comfort in your favourite onikuma. realistically, though, he should’ve realised a lot of things. it hurts him to know that he was too focused on work to do so.

he stands, and he’s grateful when seonghwa shifts to the side to allow him past, even going as far as to re-open the heavy door for him. hongjoong isn’t quite sure he deserves the soft hand that’s placed against his back as he walks through the doorway, but he appreciates it nonetheless. now isn’t the time to be wondering how he ended up with such a beautiful individual as a soulmate, but he finds himself lingering on that thought as the two of them begin their journey to the living room. it’s hard not to when the warmth of seonghwa’s touch never once leaves him.

in fact, it’s only when the two of them step through the archway that seonghwa gives a small shove to the bottom of hongjoong’s spine before going to reclaim his spot on the couch. with a single nod in your direction, seonghwa redirects his husband’s attention and hongjoong lets his gaze flicker to the floor.

the first thing he’s met with is a glare from the mutt he’d been so reluctant to allow into his abode. normally, the beast would be scolded for being so bold as to openly disrespect his master, but he let it slide this time. he can hardly tell him not to give him the attitude he so clearly deserves. in fact, this is light compared to what he would’ve expected from the overprotective creature.

at least hongjoong knows he’ll make a wonderful guard dog…

“dove,” hongjoong coos softly as he dips down to your level. he can’t remember the last time he’d sat on the floor, but this feels necessary. the closeness is something that he finds himself craving, wanting nothing more than to have you next to him again. he won’t lie and claim that the sole purpose of this is to comfort you; he needs it too, to stave off the guilt that has begun to eat him alive. “can you look at me?”

there’s a certain element of pain in his voice that tells you he’s being sincere. that he truly does feel remorse for how he treated you. whether or not it’s seonghwa that forced it upon him, you don’t particularly care. all you want is to feel hongjoong’s warmth again, so you listen. you turn your head until your watery eyes meet his.

“there she is,” he gives you a humourless chuckle, a sad smile twisting the corners of his mouth up and the corners of his eyebrows down. the warmth of his hand as he places it on your cheek is comforting; more so than any words he could say. you just need him close. he seems to realise that as he turns to the werewolf, dangerously aware of the way his ears twitch angrily above his head. “may i take her, yeosang? i promise i’ll be gentle with her.”

“you weren’t gentle with her earlier,” yeosang growls, behaving more akin to what hongjoong expects from him. it almost has hongjoong flinching back in fear of yet another bite-shaped bruise on his hand.

“that’s true, but i would like i make it up to her,” hongjoong is soft as he speaks, less so for the sake of the angry mutt, and more for the sake of you. he doesn’t want you to see any more anger from him. “besides i really think it should be my little dove’s decision as to whether i get to hold her, don’t you?” yeosang snarls, huffing in dismay as he unravels his arms from you and lets hongjoong swoop you into his. manipulation never really has been the man’s style, but he has to admit that it works wonders with the mutt. use you as leverage, and yeosang will behave like a fully trained lapdog. he’s just like them in that respect; so desperate to make you happy that they’d risk everything, dignity included.

it’s not hard for you to let yourself be passed around like some kind of teddy bear as a pose to a real, living human. you’re tired from crying, not to mention desperate for the confirmation that you’re still hongjoong’s good girl. in fact, as hongjoong tugs you into his grasp like a rag doll, you find yourself leaning into his grasp. it’s so soft compared to his sharp words and cutting tone earlier, and his familiar scent of spices fills your nostrils. it dizzies you, but hongjoong is there to catch you…

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your ear as he pulls you up to straddle his crossed legs, “my darling dove, will you forgive me?”

you don’t answer. you don’t find it necessary to. the way you see it there’s nothing to forgive; you annoyed him, he yelled at you. it’s give and take, and despite your emotions getting the better of you, you refuse to place the blame on hongjoong. not all of it, at least.

“only if you forgive me too,” is the answer you finally settle on, mumbling it into his neck. he squirms a little at the tickling sensation, and in your own mind, you find yourself thinking he’s cute.

“you have nothing to forgive, my dove,” he answers, “but if it will make you forgive me, then yes; i forgive you…”

[mylittleredgirl]

i know some of you have been pressing your faces to the glass waiting for me to see this one in particular SO i saw "the nurses" the other night and am still thinking about it!!

i love love love it when characters get pushed to a point where you can almost see their childhood selves pop out, like are they even talking about what's happening right now? or are their 12-year-old hearts just screaming?? i love that margaret's outburst is both irrational (the hostile work environment is coming from inside the house; i was yelling at my tv "baby it's your fault!!!") and so so honest.

[this turned into a bit of a character thesis, so not only is there a readmore, there will also be a reblog soon with the rest of the post because i maxed out the image limit] [edit: part ii now in the reblogs!]

this whole time, margaret has treated her subordinates with a heavy hand because she thinks it's the right and fair thing to do. the rules say this is how it works!

she maintains a high standard of excellence in brutal circumstances, but she's also reactive, moody, and unforgiving. she's often shown on the edge of losing control and authority, she inflames situations by overreacting, and the thing she punishes most egregiously is disrespect (toward frank, toward the army, toward herself). she intentionally underlines the distance between herself and the other nurses at every turn.

from season 3 "there's nothing like a nurse": [all IDs in alt]

really, everything she thinks and does comes from a place of "they're not supposed to like me," but the childish part of her that is completely unable to see her own behavior is confused and hurt because "i'm just doing my job so why don’t they like me???"

it's her job to maintain discipline, but especially here in 4077-land, she doesn't have to lead with the whip. henry was beloved because he was an overly permissive clown, which will never be her speed, but colonel potter has all the same training as she does. he's loved and respected as the Good Regular Army Guy because he leads with discernment and mutual respect.

it's easier for him. he's more experienced, he's respected and supported from above and below, and he has a calm temperament — which isn't nothing.

from season 4 "the interview":

whether she's aware of this as a problem or not, we at home can see how margaret's inability to control her emotional reactivity causes her as much grief as her inability to control other people.

if she were capable of laughing off small slights, hawkeye and trapper wouldn't have used her as a chew toy so much, and henry might have taken her real concerns more seriously if they weren't lost in the noise of daily fits, you know? she rarely started it, so i'm not blaming her for the hostile chaos circus of seasons 1-3, but i am saying she would have had a better time if she knew how to take a few deep breaths.

this description from the script, after the near-brawl in the nurses' tent in act one, is basically her character thesis statement:

and here, when she's reacting fully emotionally, the truth comes out! the reason that she won't be flexible and show compassion to the nurses isn't because of the rules, but because they're mean to her!!

that's obviously a very bad place to lead from. she has enormous institutional power over them, including controlling their freedom of movement, but she feels like all the other girls in school are hanging out together and they hate her. because they are! and they do! the fight in act one boils over when they make fun of her hair, and that sent all of them back to middle school.

and in many ways, that's where margaret's emotional maturity is stuck (which is, i think, why i find her so endearing). she can't see herself. she knows they don't like her, trust her, or want her around, but she doesn't understand how she dug this hole herself, or how to get out of it.

to add insult to jealous injury, one of the nurses (mary jo, who gets between margaret and baker to stop the fight and takes care of the others in different ways) is margaret's age, and the others look to her as their chosen leader and personal support.

and i'm sure margaret had NO IDEA this was the messy truth until she heard it come out of her mouth.

and her emotionally breaking on the "one lousy cup of coffee" in particular…

i wonder, how often does some version of that first tent scene happen? does she deliver their assignments every night? she walks in already defensive, they immediately stop laughing, and then... she either finds a reason to scold them or they ice her out until she leaves. (and they probably start laughing again as soon as she does!)

from her perspective, when she arrived for the dreaded sleepover and they turned out the lights the minute she walked in, it's like they cancelled the nightly coffee klatch just to avoid spending one social minute with her.

i also think the nurses are right when they assumed that she wouldn't have accepted an invitation to hang out with them (and might even have snapped at them for being inappropriate for asking). she doesn't cross that emotional line, even when she should — she didn't know gaynor was spiraling after losing so many patients in a row, and didn't respond compassionately when she learned.

has she ever invited them for coffee or a friendly chat? no.

...... but her circumstances have recently changed.

[reblog with the rest of it is here!]

[kiame-sama]

Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x Fem!Reader) Monster AU- pt 3

Warnings; yandere themes/behavior/actions, mix of platonic and romantic yanderes, monster AU, reader is the only human, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, Monster AU Grim has arrived and my heart already hurts for him, poor decision making, Selkie, Crow Fae, Minotaur, Drider, slight gore, an actual monster of this AU make a guest appearance,

~~~~~~~~

"(Y/n) (L/n)... The last Human in Twisted Wonderland."

Those words echoed in your mind as you followed the Crow. Supposedly there was a dorm on the campus that didn't have anyone in it and he intended that to be your home. You didn't trust any of these creatures because they all seemed to think you were some kind of exotic pet and not actually an equal. There was no way you would stay with any of these creatures and you found yourself looking for a chance to escape.

What you hadn't expected was how hard the Dragon man took your refusal to stay in his nest permanently. When he was guarding you, he had been full of energy and crackling with some kind of unknown power. When you said you wanted to be left alone and wanted to go home, the man practically looked like a kicked puppy who couldn't understand why his new play-mate didn't want to stay with him. In some ways, you felt guilty for saying no to the Dragon, but you also were afraid of how you would be treated by the man who had already claimed you as his own.

The Crow actually decided your request to go home was a reasonable one and brought you before the mirror that had been so prominent in the center of the coffin room. Despite your pleading and the Crow's requests, the mirror said there was nowhere in their world you could have come from so there was nowhere in their world you could return to. You tried arguing that your home was real and you needed to go back to it, but the mirror refused to speak to you again and simply stopped responding to you.

This lead to where you were now, feeling like a prisoner marching down death-row flanked by the two men who came with the Crow to retrieve you from the Dragon. Everyone you passed stopped and stared as you went by, their curiosity clear as they all tried to get a good look at you. Some even tried to reach out to you, but the two men flanking you shut it down quickly and chased the curious onlookers off. Despite how the Crow said he was taking you somewhere safe, you didn't trust him in the slightest.

When your opportunity to flee presented itself, you took it with both hands.

There was a forest that seemed to line the far side of the campus with many dark trees and shadowed trunks. Surely you could hide in there and find your own way home despite the fearful feeling in your gut that insisted you were stuck in the unusual world of fantasy you now found yourself in. As you drew nearer to what looked like an abandoned and ramshackled manor, you slowed your pace just enough to make a bit of distance from you and your guards before you darted into the forest.

Even as the branches whipped and slashed at you, you kept running blindly into the woods. Surely you could get some distance from the monsters that tried to keep you like a pet, and maybe then you could work on finding a way home. To your real home, wherever that was in comparison to where you were now.

~•§•~

"Damn it, Crowley!"

The black and white Selkie snapped, immediately trying to follow the frightened little Human into the forest. He knew what kind of creatures stalked those woods and a soft little Human like you was not going to survive long. The moment the branches began pulling at his pelt, he had to retreat back from the woods. His own self preservation was far too strong to allow his pelt to be damaged or removed from his shoulders, even to save a protected species like the little Human.

"What did I do? I have been nothing but kind and that Human keeps running away!"

"They're running because they are terrified, confused, and not even from our world! You should have just let us use the dark mirror to get to the dorm, not making us walk! Not to mention how unsafe and rundown the dorm you want them to stay in is..."

The Selkie gave another annoyed noise as he watched his minotaur companion barely even make it past the first tree before his horns caught on the foliage around him. They couldn't enter the forest after you because they would get just as lost as you currently were. The forest was not a warm and safe place to be for anyone given the rampant number of Direbeasts and other creatures in the untamed areas of the isle.

"We can't follow them like this- damn it! Rook, front and center, pup!"

There was a slight skittering sound before the lovely blond Drider easily cleared the wrought iron fencing nearby and came to a halt before the Selkie professor. Naturally, the Drider was curious about the Human and followed the entourage with a keen eye and even keener instincts. He knew the Human would run before the professors did, and despite how he wanted to give chase he remembered the horrified look the Human had given him when they saw him for the first time. Rook wanted to befriend and study the unusual prey that was his new little Human muse, not terrify them into fleeing from him.

"Yes, Roi du Selkie?"

"I know you were watching where the Human (Y/n) ran and you are better at navigating the forest than we are. Find them and bring them back unharmed."

"You wound me, Roi du Selkie! I would never harm the little Trickster Human! Now, I certainly wouldn't mind hunting them down for a bit of sport, but I wouldn't harm a hair upon their fragile little head."

"Yes, yes, I know your proclivity to The Hunt, but this is a fragile creature that we can't risk losing, especially when they are the last of their kind. Make sure you get to them before the beats of the forest do."

"As you command, Roi du Selkie."

~•§•~

No matter how far you ran, the forest only seemed to get darker. It had already been late in the evening when you fled, but the forest was a near abyssal dark. Not even the light of the moon could reach beneath the canopy of leaves. Every little sound made you jump and you could only imagine the creatures that lurked in these shadowed woods.

Perhaps fleeing into the woods away from a warm bed and meal was not the best idea you've had. Granted, the last time you fled resulted rather positively given the fact you fell asleep under a stone statue and woke up safe in a comfortable bed. The same bed you chose to give up because you didn't want to be someone's pet. Well, hindsight was always 20/20, after all.

You were so preoccupied with the forest around you that the second a gnarled root caught you foot, you went tumbling to the ground with an undignified yelp. The root you had fallen over was pitch black and seemed to actually be the opening of what looked like a den for whatever creatures called this land home. When you breathed a sigh of relief at not seeing any feral creature within the den, a sharp voice snapped you back to attention.

"Hey! Watch it!"

Crawling on their belly out of the den, you caught sight of shaggy gray fur and burning blue eyes. You got a good look at the little creature when it stood up, dusting the dirt off of itself and pouting in your direction. The little beast was fairly stout and almost fooled you into thinking it was some kind of cat before you noticed the extra limbs adorning the rounder body.

"What... Are you?"

"I'm the greatest mage to ever live, Grim! That's what I am! What are you? You don't look like the usual fancy-pants students that wander around the woods."

"I'm not... I'm just lost-"

You cut yourself off with a gasp as the little creature hopped up on your knees, staring at you closely with those bright blue eyes. They gave you a quick once-over and even a few sniffs for good measure before they nodded.

"Yup. I see. I can say with absolute certainty that I have no idea what you are!"

The odd words of the critter drew a short laugh from you. Your laugh was a mix of confusion and incredulousness, but in it held the hint of genuine humor. It seemed those in the supposed school knew exactly what you were, but this little creature didn't have the faintest idea. Something about this Grim helped put you at ease as they seemed much more rounded- quite literally given their chubby belly- and less aggressive than the others had been.

Where the others had made you feel like an exotic pet, this little creature made you feel like someone who could stand up for themselves and talk for themselves. As you took a good look at the creature, you noticed what seemed to be small blue flames along their ears and various scars riddling the soft fur. Though the creature was small, they had clearly been through a rough life as even the little wings on their back had been shredded to complete uselessness.

"I'm a Human."

"Yeah, I have no idea what that is, but it smells like you don't have even a bit of magic on ya! Don't worry, Hooman thing. I- the Great and Powerful Grim- will protect you as you make your way through the forest! There's all sorts of bad things in the woods that would hurt someone soft like you. In return, you can be my henchman! Every good mage needs a henchman. Nyehehe!"

Before you could respond to the odd creature Grim, the rustling of the bushes near you filled you with dread. You had no way to defend yourself or fight back against whatever threat came for you, let alone protect Grim. That dread only compounded when you saw the creature that emerged from the foliage.

Standing on all fours, it almost looked like some kind of bear that was missing half of it's face. Where fur and flesh should have been, a large gaping wound covered in flies and rotting from the bone of the skull was on clear display. The eyes of the beast were no more than glowing light blue pits that glowered hatefully in your direction. Even the black fur of the beast seemed to be dripping with some kind of rot as the foul stench of the creature assaulted your nostrils.

Nothing about this beast was natural and the twisted fangs that glinted in the maw of the beast only made icy fear grip you. Each fang had been broken by the neighboring tooth, all overgrown and twisted in the maw of the creature. Some teeth grew up and back into the gums, some teeth grew out jaggedly though the mouth of the creature, and some were empty sockets where a tooth once was.

The beast lowed and huffed, sounding like it was struggling for air as it breathed out a toe-curling reek in heavy pants. One paw fell after the other as you felt rooted to the ground, trapped in terror upon gazing such a disheveled and vile creature walking around. Beyond just the face of the creature, you could see exposed bone and further signs of decay clinging to the sides of the beast. Open wounds were covered in pustules filled with some kind of inky black blight on ragged and bloodless flesh.

"Th-that's way bigger than I thought it'd be..."

Grim's voice squeaked out and his torn ears dropped in obvious fear. The bravado he had moments prior was gone the exact same way your own had faded away. This was not some natural creature and you realized just how woefully prepared you were to face the creatures of the night.

The beast turned the one remaining eye it had towards the two of you and Grim tried to hide behind your legs, huddled down on your stomach. You were in more than just a dangerous position seeing as you were sitting on the dark earth beneath you after tripping over Grim's hiding-spot. Both you and your new companion were caught completely unawares by this wretched beast.

As it looked like the thing was about to lunge, a sudden rush of fire slammed into the beast, piercing into the side was an arrow that burned brightly with flames. The sudden attack was enough to disorient the beast as it howled a screeching wail of pain and lumbered back into the woods, deciding to find easier prey elsewhere. You wanted to cry in joy at seeing the creature retreat, finding yourself hugging the odd cat-thing Grim who joyously returned the affection as you both got to live another day.

"I see you are unharmed, my little Trickster, c'est magnifique!"

You looked over at the sound of the voice, only to realize that the voice came from above you instead. Hanging suspended on a thin strand of silk was the lovely giant Spider man. Two of his legs held the silk and the others hung down as if reaching down to you.

"Myeh! A giant spider! Run for your life, Hooman!"

Grim screamed as he hopped off of your stomach, trying to flee from the descending spider that had save you both from the monster bear. He didn't get far before a sudden strand of silk wrapped around him, pulling him back with ease.

"Non, there has been enough fleeing for one night. As beautiful as the forest is when it is dark like this, many dangers far worse than the Undying Ursus Minor live in these woods. It is time to return mon Trickster to the safety of their new home."

"Myeh? A safe home..? Hey, spider guy, that's my henchman! Where they go, I go too! They wouldn't leave me out here," Grim turned to look at you with surprisingly soulful eyes, as if willing you to agree, "right?"

You felt more than a little put on the spot, but you didn't see any harm in bringing this strange creature with you. They were more than a little proud but seemed so out of place among the dark forest you two found ourselves at the mercy of. That and the fact that you couldn't get the image of the many scars on their soft little body out of your mind. The world was unkind to Grim and maybe you could do something to change that for the better.

"Right."

The blond spider nodded with a patient smile, his body safely touching down on the ground next to you.

"Trés bien, I will bring your new friend with us. First, I worry I haven't been very polite with you, Trickster. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Rook Hunt, hunting enthusiast and passionate admirer of all things beautiful. Honored to be in the presence of one so rare~"

After his short introduction, Rook was quick to free Grim from the webbing and picked the little creature up, setting the fluffy beast onto his spider half's back. As the spider man approached you next, you still felt wary of him but knew that at least he wasn't looking to harm you like the beasts of the forest.

Before you could accept the help of the smiling spider, he suddenly picked you up, pausing with a look of surprise. His hands were beneath your arms and held you from the ground with what seemed to be little effort, but he was a spider and so likely had more strength than a Human would.

"Oh? It seems my little Trickster is a Mademoiselle Trickster. Odd I didn't notice before. I am usually quite good at discerning the sex of my prey, as some species are only free to hunt if they are one sex and not the other, but this is still a welcome surprise. Roi du Règles will be most pleased to know this, him being a Unicorn and all."

"Wh-what the hell are you talking about? Were you hunting me?"

"Calm yourself, Trickster. I admit, you interest me in many ways, but non, I tracked you down at the behest of Roi du Selkie. The forests are no place for a soft Human such as yourself. I certainly would not mind a game of chase with you, but this is neither the place nor time."

He set you next to Grim on his back, grinning over his shoulder at you.

"Hold on, Mademoiselle Trickster, I do not intend to have you fall on our way back to campus."

You were quick to grab Grim, holding the soft critter with one arm and the other wrapping around Rook's warm torso. Once he was sure you were holding onto him securely, his many long legs began to move with a surprising speed, carrying you towards what you assumed to be the school you fled. Grim was content to snuggle into your body for warmth, seeming to actually relax in your hold now that he didn't have to constantly be looking over his shoulder for danger.

You weren't thrilled to be going back, but you also now knew what kind of dangers lurked around the campus and in the woods. Perhaps you would be better off in the protection- for whatever it was worth- of the monster men and their school. Even if it was temporary, it beat being the lunch to something bigger and meaner in the forest. At least you knew you weren't going to try running again.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Lesson 1: "White Man Painted Black"?

Okay, I recognize that this is a strong foot to step off on! But! If you learn nothing else from this series, if you decide for whatever reason to forsake me: this is the ONE perspective I'd like you to take away!

You may have heard this quote before, when Black fans deride a character design as 'a white man with the brown bucket tool'. On its face, it means exactly what was said. But specifically, what it means is that we recognize that whomever designed the character drew the way they normally draw for a 'default' character in their mind- default usually meaning White/Eurocentric features- and they added a shade of brown within the line art to make that character now 'Black'.

Now if you're feeling defensive, wait just a moment! This discomfort is not inherently a bad thing!

I'm going to use both a 'real world' example first, to show you what your Black fans and peers are seeing, and perhaps you will also understand our discomfort!

(if anyone was curious, my folder for this lesson is titled 'brad' lmao and you'll see why)

(I'll have y'all know that I actually worked very hard to make Blackface Brad look mildly presentable lmao I'm sorry, I'm wheezing, I can hardly breathe looking at him 🤣)

You see how, despite knowing where this was going, and using one of the darkest shades of brown in my Skin Tones arsenal, you still know that that's Brad Pitt? That nothing about his hair texture, his lips, his nose, or really anything other than the palette change... changed? And you can still see that?

It's incredibly hurtful to be told that that's supposed to be you. You know it's not, you know why it's not, but rather than hearing how it makes you feel unseen and what they could do to be better (since they wanted to draw a Black character!), the artist lashes out at you.

And as an artist, you might have worked VERY HARD to do this! That might be a real handsome guy you drew!! But... is he really Black? Did you walk into it with the intention, that you were drawing a Black Character, or did you draw a character that just happened to be Black? It seems like a silly thing, but it matters!

Okay. I just finished laughing over Brad. Now let's get into some more perspective changes:

Now, imagine you drew a character. You want to make her Black, so you change the hair and skin colors. All right! You have your Black character... right?

Changed ONE feature about her? (You should obviously change more than one feature, but let's just go with the simplified example.)

What if, instead of just changing her palette, we changed her:

Hair?

There isn't nearly enough time in the world, let alone in this little scribble and blurb, for me to describe the IMPORTANCE of Black hair in Black character design. There are so many ways to do curls, afros, braids, twists, locs, SO MANY HAIRSTYLES!! Get used to searching in the 3C-4C hair textures!!!! I plan on doing an entire lesson or two on hair alone, but suffice it to say, Hair Texture is thee BIGGEST giveaway that you 'painted a white person Black'- from cartoon styles to realistic! It reveals itself in your writing as well- just based on how your character takes care of their hair, how your describe the texture, how other people might perceive it... it lets me know just how much research was done. Because we can have straight hair! But again, that's a conversation for a whole 'nother lesson so- come back later 👀?

Lips?

I love our lips, I really do. There's a long history of shaming Black women in particular for the way our lips look. So when I see them done in all their glory, it makes me very happy. Two-toned lips vary in shade and intensity, so make sure you're using references if you want to be 'realistic', but it doesn't have to be that hard. Even a little subtle shift like this in the design/story description lets me know that a creator was thinking about me.

Nose?

One thing I've noticed ever since I starting drawing is that... people in a lot of mangas/manhwas barely have noses! I admit, out of all the features on the face, the nose isn't the most important. I think they should be, especially when you want to emphasize that your characters look different! People have different types of noses! I especially want to gear this towards those with a goal of drawing realistic portraits and the like- there, the nose is ANOTHER dead giveaway. There are Black people with aquiline and straight noses- we aren't a monolith- but is that why you drew it? Consider why you went for that nose specifically. That's part of the intent, in all this!

Now, you might be looking at me and going "Ice... this is just character design". To which my answer is: Yes! It is! It feels so basic, and yet if you ask your Black friends/peers how often they've come across this feeling of not being properly drawn/written, from fanart to professionally produced works, it's unfortunately common despite how simple of a concept it is.

I hope that you can walk away from my first lil lesson with new eyes. Remember, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 17

part 1 | part 16 | ao3

Heat rolls through Steve’s gut; low and quick, a vicious flare, and then he coughs and looks away. “Jesus, man," he splutters, "learn to take a joke.”

“Mmm-hm.” Eddie's smug smirk spreads wide, grows teeth; gotcha bitch, and Steve’s about to tell him to fuck off when he claps his hands to his thighs and abruptly stands up. Does a big stretch, swinging his arms out side to side, reaching overhead until his back makes a noise like a twisted sheet of bubble wrap.

“Holy shit!” Steve frowns. “You’re gonna break your spine.”

Eddie gives him a flippant smile. “That's the idea. Anyway...” He pretzels himself up again, groaning as his neck and shoulders pop. “Seeing as we’re trapped in here for the foreseeable future, you wanna do what the little psychos asked? Play twenty questions or have a heart-to-heart or whatever?”

“Seriously? And just give them what they want?”

Eddie shrugs. “Seems like the fastest way out of here, so yeah.”

“We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

“Please. You negotiate with them all the time." He folds forward at the hips, looking at Steve upside down between his legs, and twists a curl around his pinky. "Those kids have you wrapped around their grubby little fingers."

"They do not!"

"They totally do. Besides," he swings back upright, "I’ll negotiate with anyone if it gets me back home to my girl.”

"Oh." Steve stumbles at that. "Didn't know you had a girlfriend.”

Eddie laughs big and bright, shaking his hair all over the place. “Yeah, Harrington, I have a girlfriend. You're funny. Y'know, Henderson could have saved us a lot of time here if he'd just told me you were fun—”

“Okay, then who’s your girl?” Steve interrupts with a huff, because Eddie’s just hopping around in circles while he laughs like Steve's a fucking moron for making a totally reasonable assumption, and he doesn't understand what's so goddamn funny about it.

“My girl, Harrington,” he all but coos when he collects himself, “is my guitar.” He bites his lip and mimes playing a riff; Steve doesn’t know shit about guitar, but he knows that Eddie’s fingers are quick, nimble and impressive as they jitter through the air. “We’ve got a show this weekend. Like, a real one this time, not just playing to three drunks at the Hideout.”

“Cool,” Steve says, looking away from his rings. “Congrats, man. You any good?”

“You could say that.” Eddie’s mouth goes smug and pleased, genuine pride shining in his big eyes when he rocks back on his heels. “The frat that booked us seems to think so, anyway.”

“Oh, shit!" Now Steve's impressed, because it's the weekend before Halloween, and that means, "College costume party.”

“Of course you’d be excited about that.”

“Hey, great place to get laid,” Steve shrugs.

Eddie chokes on his own spit. “You’re kind of a slut, you know that?”

“Rude,” Steve says mildly. He's not a slut; he's an opportunist.

The ground's starting to hurt his ass, so he stands up to join Eddie's impromptu yoga session. Eddie leans a hip against the workbench, folding his arms over his chest and giving Steve room to move.

His eyes flit to his hemline when it rides up on a stretch. "Would you..." he clears his throat. "Would you want to come?"

"Huh?" Steve twists around.

"To the show," Eddie adds, ducking his head to hide his face behind his hair. "You'd have to cram into the back with Frankie and the drum kit, but uh..."

Steve lets himself picture it for a moment, some alternate dimension where he's allowed to say yes: the winding highway to Indy, a van full of dudes cracking jokes and fighting over who gets to pick the music next, losing himself in the thrum of a crowd while he drinks and dances and watches Eddie on stage.

His throat feels tight, suddenly. He reaches for the flask and takes another sip of whiskey. "Don't all your bandmates hate me?"

"I mean... not any more than I do." Eddie's answer is quiet, his eyes swimming with candlelight; Steve doesn't know when they moved closer, when a hush settled over the room, but it feels like...

"Yeah?" he hedges, his voice barely above a whisper. Then he steps out onto the ledge; icy cliffside, slippery holds. The mountains are so much scarier than the deep sea. "And how... How much is that?"

His pulse kicks in his chest. Echoes down to his wrist, a nervous current beneath his skin. Eddie's eyes are so soft. Big and brown and dark. Dark like the deep woods; endless; sort of mesmerizing.

"Steve, I—"

The cellar doors shriek on their hinges.

—

part 18

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@heartsong18 @hellion-child @hiimlevi @hotluncheddie @jackiemonroe5512 @jaytriesstuff @littlebluejane @lololol-1234 @marklee-blackmore @melonmochi @messrs-weasley @mrsjellymunson @mugloversonly @nburkhardt @nerdyglassescheeseychick @noodle-shenaniganery @notsopersonalcharlie @novelnovella @nuggies4life @pending-dope-username @perseus-notjackson @ppunkpuppyy @questionablequeeries @remosdeerica @runninriot @sadcanadianwinter @shamelesspatrolshepherdcowboy @silver-snaffles @singmeyoursimpsong @slowandsteddie @slutforcoffein @solalasoforth @spookednsaucy @steddieas-shegoes @steddie-island @stevesbipanic @steves-strapcollection @taleah-bonnick @teatimeeverybody @th30ra3k3n @thealwithnoname @thespaceantwhowrites @thestarslittleking @thesuninyaface @trensu @violetsteve @wormdebut @yourmom-isgay @zoeweee @zombiecreatures

[laneywrld]

futile devices | Lewis Hamilton

request: you have a real talent for angst hehe. can i request one with lewis where he broke up with reader bcs he said he needed a break. but then not long after he was out with other women. the breakup broke reader she turned into a whole diff person. and she was like "i dont think any of that was real" when she talked abt her past with lewis? please tear my heart apart into pieces, im begging you

word count: 2.4k

warnings: ANGSTTT, dissociation, therapy, religious talks.

listen while you read for the full experience:

apple music, spotify

You read something once, it goes, did god create humans because he was lonely or humans God because they were lonely?

Now, you were never strongly religious, enough to go to church three times a week or remember to pray before each meal or bedtime, a part of you wants to believe that there is a God. A flicker of you does feel like, hey, there has to be someone out there pushing my hand like this, there has to be a reason for this.

And that's human nature, needing a reason.

When you don't have a reasonable explanation for things, your mind searches for that reasoning. History shows, that when man knows nothing man creates, look at mythology for an example.

In ancient cultures, the world was filled with mysteries—natural events, life and death, the changing seasons—that seemed inexplicable without invoking a higher power or supernatural beings.

So, what did humans do?

They have created gods and mythical figures to explain phenomena they didn't understand.

In a way it's a beautiful thing, what that has done is infuse our real world with a sense of order and meaning in a world that could often seem chaotic and purposeless.

That is what life is without reasoning, a big fucking question.

Humanity sought not only to explain the world around them but also to find their place within it, weaving their existence into the larger tapestry of the cosmos.

We have an enduring need to seek meaning in the face of the unfathomable, to transform the mysterious into the comprehensible, and to infuse our world with a sense of purpose and coherence.

The point is this, maybe you were blind to it all, maybe your brain forced you to believe it. Forced you to see things as they weren't.

Lewis Hamilton never loved you, he never even cared. You can see that now.

The point is this: maybe you were blind to it all, maybe your brain forced you to believe it, to see things as they weren't. For the longest time, you believed Lewis Hamilton loved you. His charming smile, the way he looked at you, the tender moments you shared—they all seemed so real, so genuine.

But in the end, it was all a façade.

It started to unravel one evening when Lewis sat you down, a serious look on his face. "I need a break," he said, his voice devoid of the warmth you were used to. "I need to find myself."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. You wanted to understand, to support him in his quest for self-discovery. But as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, the truth began to surface. The only thing Lewis found was himself under different women.

The news and rumors reached you like whispers in the wind, each one a dagger to your heart.

It boggled you, it really did. How could someone who seemed so loving, so dedicated, turn out to be so deceitful? You replayed your memories, searching for signs, for clues you might have missed. Maybe you were blind to it all, or maybe you wanted so desperately to believe in his love that you ignored the red flags.

There were moments that stood out now, in harsh clarity. The late nights he claimed were for training, the mysterious phone calls he brushed off, the growing distance in his eyes. You had chalked it up to stress, to the demands of his career. But now, it all made sense. It was never about finding himself; it was about finding excuses.

The realization hurt more than you could have imagined. You felt betrayed, not just by Lewis, but by your own heart for leading you astray. The love you thought was real had been a carefully constructed illusion, and you were left to pick up the pieces of your shattered trust.

Did god create humans because he was lonely or humans God because they were lonely?

You were lonely, and you filled that void with Lewis, even if it wasn't real, you allowed him to fill every crevice of your life with a warmth and excitement you had previously been lacking.

It became clear that it's a bad religion to love someone who could never love you back. Loving Lewis had been like worshiping a false god, investing your heart and soul into something that could never reciprocate your devotion.

You didn't know who you were without Lewis.

And that was the problem, yeah you realize now that true love, the kind that is worth believing in, is mutual and nurturing, not one-sided and destructive.

But he's fucking ruined you to the point of no return.

You always thought that those people who let their lives be flipped upside down over a breakup were dramatic. You used to believe that heartbreak was something you could just push through, that it was a part of life everyone had to endure and move past. Yet now, you understood fully. It's crazy how losing someone—or rather, being left by someone you thought loved you—could indeed flip your own life upside down and launch you back further than you knew you could go.

There was no point of return. The realization that Lewis never truly loved you was a blow that shattered your world. The man who once filled your days with laughter and your nights with tender whispers had left you with a void so profound it felt like you were lost in an endless abyss.

Lewis made you lack a belief in everything.

The trust you once held sacred, the love you thought was mutual, the future you had envisioned together—everything now seemed like a cruel illusion. His departure didn't just break your heart; it broke your spirit. You found yourself doubting your worth, your judgment, your ability to ever truly know someone.

You didn't know what was real or fake.

Nights were the hardest. Alone in the quiet of your room, memories would flood your mind—the way he used to hold you, the promises he made, the plans you both had. The betrayal felt like an echoing void, reminding you of the deception hidden behind charming smiles. You felt untethered, adrift in a sea of emotions with no solid ground in sight.

You began to see the world through a lens of skepticism. Where once you saw possibilities and hope, now you saw uncertainty and doubt. Lewis’ betrayal had sown seeds of mistrust in your heart, making it difficult to believe in anything or anyone. The optimism that once colored your outlook on life had been replaced by a grim resignation.

You didn't even know if you believed in God anymore, or purpose, or happiness. Lewis had taken every ounce of reasoning from you. Your brain couldn't decipher what was real or fake.

Was it real or was it fake?

Did Lewis love you or was this a sick game?

Did he love you or were you just lonely?

You didn't know what was real or fake, and it made you feel so fucking crazy.

The questions haunted you, relentlessly looping through your mind.

You replayed your relationship over and over, scrutinizing every moment, every gesture. What was real? What was fake? The uncertainty gnawed at your sanity, eroding the foundation of your life.

The world around you seemed distorted as if reality itself had become an unreliable narrator in the story of your life.

Your faith, which had once been a source of comfort and strength, now felt fragile and distant. You questioned everything you had once held dear, everything that had given your life meaning. Was there a higher power? A divine purpose? The betrayal had not only broken your heart but also shaken the very core of your beliefs.

Purpose felt like a cruel joke. The plans you had made, the dreams you had shared with Lewis, all seemed meaningless now. Happiness, once a tangible goal, now felt like an elusive mirage, always just out of reach. The void left by Lewis's departure was filled with a consuming darkness that threatened to swallow you whole.

You tried to find solace in the familiar, in the routine, but nothing felt the same. Your friends and family offered words of comfort, but their reassurances felt hollow, unable to penetrate the depths of your despair. You were trapped in a maze of confusion and pain, each turn leading you further into the unknown.

There were moments when you questioned your sanity. The line between reality and illusion had become so blurred that you wondered if you were losing your mind. You felt disconnected from yourself, from the person you used to be as if you were living in a surreal nightmare from which there was no escape.

You felt mindless, maybe he had taken your mind with him.

It felt as if your head could collapse at any given moment.

Your family wanted you to try therapy; you weren't yourself. Maybe, aside from taking your mind, Lewis also took the person you were with him. Therapy was hard, and though you've had session after session, you feel the same. Where was the progress everyone promised? Your therapist's voice drones on and on, and you feel like you're watching her from the hollowness like you've taken a backseat to your own life. Every single day felt like you were watching your life from another person's gaze, or like you were sitting inside your brain watching from your eyes, except it wasn't you.

Your therapist is still talking. Nothing she says helps; you want her to shut up as she spews the importance of finding yourself again. You want to scream at her as she preaches about purpose, but when you zero in, you're still quiet, eyes dead and hands folded. You're screaming inside your head, but she keeps talking.

You don't mean to cut her off, or maybe you do, but when the words tumble from your lips, she cocks her head in a way that tells you she's going to have fun studying this session later in the day.

"I feel like I'm not even here," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like I'm watching my life happen to someone else."

Your therapist pauses, her pen hovering over her notepad. "That's a significant observation," she says slowly, as if measuring each word. "It sounds like you're experiencing dissociation, a common response to trauma."

You want to roll your eyes at her clinical response, but you can't muster the energy.

"Why does it matter?" you ask, your tone flat. "Knowing what's wrong doesn't make it better. I'm still...gone."

She leans forward slightly, her eyes searching yours for a flicker of connection. "It's the first step," she says. "Understanding what you're experiencing can help us find a way to bring you back. It's not a quick process, but it's a start."

You feel a surge of frustration. "Everyone keeps saying that. 'It's a process,' 'It's a journey,' 'It takes time.' But what if I never get back to who I was? What if I'm stuck like this forever?"

Your therapist doesn't flinch. "It's a valid fear," she acknowledges. "But healing isn't about returning to who you were. It's about integrating your experiences and finding a new sense of self. It’s about moving forward, not backward."

Her words echo in your mind, but they don't penetrate the numbness you feel. "I don't even know who I am anymore," you admit, the confession feeling like a weight lifted and a burden simultaneously.

"That's why we're here," she says gently. "To help you rediscover yourself. To help you heal. It's okay to feel lost right now. What's important is that you're here, trying to find your way."

You sit in silence, her words hanging in the air. Despite your resistance, a small part of you wants to believe her, to hope that maybe, just maybe, you can find your way out of this darkness.

But for now, you're still watching from the hollow place, detached and distant. Therapy might be a lifeline, but it feels like you're grasping at straws. You hope that someday, the promises of progress will become more than empty words, that you’ll find a way to step back into your own life, whole and strong.

But for now, that hope feels unrealistic. All you want is to know what was real. Were you that lonely? You had never felt lonely before him, never felt like a piece of you was missing. Before Lewis, you felt content with life, fulfilled.

The question haunted you. How had you become so dependent on his presence, his validation? You had always prided yourself on your independence, your ability to find joy and meaning in your own life. Friends, family, your work—these had always been enough. So why, after Lewis, did everything feel so empty?

Your mind raced back to the beginning, to the thrill and excitement of new love. You remembered how he made you feel special like you were the center of his universe.

It was intoxicating, a heady rush that blurred the lines between reality and fantasy. You realized now that you had mistaken the intensity of those feelings for something deeper, something real.

In the quiet of your therapy sessions, you wrestled with these thoughts. Your therapist's words often felt like background noise, drowned out by the clamor of your own doubts and insecurities. Yet, there was a part of you that recognized the need to confront these feelings, to understand why you had allowed yourself to become so entwined with someone who ultimately proved unworthy of your adoration.

Were you lonely? Or was it that Lewis had awakened a vulnerability you didn't know existed?

His departure left a gaping wound, exposing the raw edges of your heart. The loneliness you felt now wasn't just the absence of his presence, but the loss of the illusion of love he had created. It was the shattering of a carefully constructed facade that had made you feel whole, if only for a fleeting moment.

As you sat in your therapist's office, the background noise of her voice suddenly halted. For the first time, you murmured a sentence that showed progress, even if it was wrapped in sadness.

"I don't think any of it was real."

the way I just wrote this in 38 minutes, in my dark ass room with the linked song on replay while it's raining. what a great day. I'm really convinced that I can only write angst!

to the anon who called me sad and smutty ilyyyyy 🫶🏽😭 I'm making it my bio

also, I don't have access to the form for the taglist right now, so if you would like to be added or if you already submitted your user, pls just send me an ask with your user pls <3

[callsigns-haze]

Memories Fade III

Eris x Rhysand's Sister!Reader Summary: Not so long back Rhysand lost his sister. Years after Helion and Elain can raise her memories from the past to see what truly happened to Y/n. Warning: Mentions of death and drinking

Part 1 here

Eris led Y/N down the narrow, dimly lit corridor until they reached a small, unmarked door. He glanced around once more to ensure they were alone before opening the door and pulling her inside. The room was cramped and cluttered, clearly a storage space for cleaning supplies. He shut the door behind them aggressively, the sound echoing in the confined space.

Before Y/N could react, Eris had her pinned against the door, his body pressed close to hers. His eyes burned with intensity as he leaned in, capturing her lips in a fervent kiss. Y/N's initial surprise melted into desire, and she kissed him back, her hands tangling in his hair.

For a moment, the world outside ceased to exist, and all that mattered was the heat between them. But the urgency in Eris's kiss reminded her of the reason they were here. With a gasp, she broke the kiss, her breaths coming quick and shallow.

"Eris," she whispered, her voice filled with a mix of longing and determination, "tell me what’s going on."

He rested his forehead against hers, his breaths heavy. "I heard something from my father," he began, his voice low and tense. "The Spring Court... they're planning something."

Y/N's eyes widened. "What do you mean? Planning what?"

Eris took a deep breath, his grip on her waist tightening. "They're trying to break from the peace treaty. There are rumors that they might attack one of the courts. It's not clear which one, but the threat is real."

Y/N's heart raced, the gravity of his words sinking in. "But why? What could they hope to gain?"

Eris shook his head. "I don't know all the details, but my father believes it’s a power move, a way to disrupt the current balance and seize control."

She swallowed hard, her mind reeling with the implications. "We have to tell someone. Rhysand, my father—"

"No," Eris interrupted sharply, his eyes fierce. "You can't tell anyone. Not yet."

Y/N frowned, confusion and frustration bubbling within her. "Why not? They need to know. We need to be prepared."

Eris cupped her face in his hands, his expression pained. "Because if they know you heard it from me, it could jeopardize everything. My position, my father’s trust, they could hurt you—everything we’ve worked for. We need to find another way to confirm the information without raising suspicion."

Y/N nodded slowly, understanding the delicate balance they needed to maintain. "All right. But we can’t just do nothing."

Eris kissed her forehead, his touch gentle despite the urgency of the situation. "I know. We’ll find a way. But for now, you have to promise me you won’t say anything."

She looked into his eyes, seeing the determination and concern there. "I promise. But be careful, Eris. This is dangerous."

He gave her a small, reassuring smile. "I will. And you too."

As they stood there in the cramped broom closet, the weight of their secret pressed heavily on them. The world outside continued on, unaware of the storm brewing within the courts.

---

Back in the chamber where the memories were being relived, Rhysand sat tensely as Helion and Elain prepared the next sequence. The Inner Circle watched with a mix of anticipation and concern, understanding the gravity of what they were about to witness.

Helion's power flared, and the room grew dimmer as the memory began to take shape. Rhysand braced himself, feeling a familiar, painful tug at his heart as he was drawn back into the past.

The memory unfolded in the dimly lit corridors of the palace. Eris and Y/N were huddled in a cramped broom closet, their bodies pressed together. Rhysand watched, his heart clenching as he saw the urgency and fear in their eyes.

"Eris," Y/N whispered in the memory, "tell me what’s going on."

Eris's voice was low and tense as he explained the threat from the Spring Court. The details were stark and unsettling, and Rhysand's mind raced as he listened.

"They're trying to break from the peace treaty. There are rumors that they might attack one of the courts. It's not clear which one, but the threat is real," Eris said.

Rhysand felt a chill run down his spine as he absorbed the words. The memory continued, showing Y/N's resolve and her promise to keep the information secret. Then, as the memory faded, Rhysand was jolted back to the present.

The room was silent, everyone absorbing the weight of what they had just seen. Rhysand's breath caught in his throat as the pieces began to fall into place. He turned to Feyre, his eyes wide with realization.

"That conversation," he said, his voice strained, "it happened exactly a week ago before..."

Feyre's eyes widened as she understood. "The Spring Court attack..."

Rhysand nodded, his heart pounding. "It was the attack where Y/N and our mother were ambushed. Our mother died, and Y/N... she lost her wings."

The room fell into a stunned silence, the gravity of the revelation hitting them all. Mor covered her mouth with her hand, tears welling in her eyes at the memory. Cassian and Azriel exchanged grim looks, their jaws clenched in anger and sorrow.

Rhysand stood, his body trembling with a mix of rage and grief. "This isn't just a memory. It's a warning. We need to act, and we need to do it now."

Feyre placed a hand on his arm, grounding him. "We'll get justice for them, Rhys. We'll make sure of it."

Helion stepped forward, his expression serious. "There's more to uncover. We need to continue the memories to understand the full extent of what we're dealing with."

Rhysand nodded, though his heart ached. "Yes, let's continue. We need to know everything."

As Helion and Elain prepared the next memory, Rhysand took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever came next. The past was painful, but it held the key to avenging his mother and protecting his sister. He would face it all, no matter the cost.

---

Y/N stood in the woods beside her mother, the twilight casting long shadows around them. The air was thick with the scent of pine and earth, and a sense of unease settled in Y/N's stomach. They had been told to come here and wait for Rhysand and her father, but something felt wrong.

"Mother, do you think they’re running late?" Y/N asked, trying to keep the nervous tremor out of her voice.

Her mother smiled, though her eyes were alert. "I’m sure they’ll be here soon, dear. Just be patient."

The rustling of leaves drew their attention, and emerging from the shadows was the High Lord of Spring, his eyes alight with malevolence. Flanking him were his sons, their expressions hard and unforgiving. Y/N's heart skipped a beat, her instincts screaming that this was a trap.

"Tamlin's father," her mother whispered, her voice tight with tension.

The High Lord’s eyes were cold as he regarded them. "I’m afraid your wait is over."

Without warning, they attacked. Y/N and her mother sprang into action, their training taking over. Magic and steel clashed in the dim light, the sounds of battle echoing through the trees. Y/N fought fiercely, her sword meeting each strike with precision, her heart pounding with adrenaline.

In the midst of the chaos, she heard a scream. She turned just in time to see her mother being stabbed by one of the High Lord's sons. Her mother’s eyes widened in pain and shock, and she fell to her knees.

"Mother!" Y/N cried out, desperation clawing at her chest.

She lunged towards her mother, but before she could reach her, a sharp pain exploded in her side. She looked down to see a blade protruding from her abdomen, her blood soaking the ground beneath her. The world blurred and tilted as she fell to the ground, her strength ebbing away.

Through the haze of pain, Y/N watched in horror as the Spring Court fae descended on her mother. They cut her wings off with brutal efficiency, the beautiful appendages falling to the forest floor. Her mother screamed in agony, a sound that would haunt Y/N forever, before they silenced her with a final, fatal blow.

Tears streamed down Y/N’s face as she tried to crawl towards her mother, every movement sending waves of agony through her body. One of the sons turned to her, his expression devoid of mercy, and with a swift motion, he severed her wings too. The pain was blinding, and she screamed, her vision going dark at the edges.

"Leave her to bleed out," the High Lord’s voice said, cold and dismissive. "She’s no threat now."

They left, their figures vanishing into the woods, leaving Y/N and her mother to their fate. Summoning every ounce of strength she had left, Y/N dragged her bleeding body across the ground. Her vision swam, but she kept moving, inch by agonizing inch, until she reached her mother’s side.

"Mom" she whispered, her voice a broken sob. She reached out, her hand trembling as she touched her mother’s cold, lifeless face.

The world seemed to close in around her, the pain and grief overwhelming. She lay there, next to her mother, the life slowly draining from her. But she clung to one thought, one last piece of hope: Rhysand would find them. He had to.

With that thought, Y/N let the darkness take her, her body going still next to her mother’s.

-

Eris sat in the grand throne room of the Autumn Court, the flickering firelight casting dancing shadows on the walls. He was engrossed in a book, trying to distract himself from the ever-present political intrigues that plagued his court. The pages turned slowly under his fingers, but his mind wandered to thoughts of Y/N and the complicated web of emotions he felt for her.

Suddenly, a searing pain tore through his chest, unlike anything he had ever experienced. It was as if his very soul was being ripped apart. The book fell from his hands, landing with a dull thud on the floor as he clutched at his chest, gasping for breath. The pain was relentless, a torrent of agony that left him reeling.

"What...what is this?" he gasped, his voice barely more than a whisper.

As the pain intensified, a horrifying realization dawned on him. This wasn't just any pain; it was the pain of a mating bond snapping into place. And not only had it locked into place, but it was being flooded with the murderous agony of his mate.

Y/N.

Y/N was his mate.

The name echoed in his mind, bringing with it a surge of emotions: shock, fear, and an overwhelming need to protect her. He knew, with a certainty that left no room for doubt, that Y/N was in danger.

Eris forced himself to stand, his vision blurring with the intensity of the pain. He stumbled towards the nearest door, his steps unsteady. Each movement was a struggle, but he pressed on, driven by the primal urge to find his mate and save her from whatever horror she was enduring.

The halls of the Autumn Court blurred around him as he pushed forward, his mind solely focused on Y/N. He could feel her pain, her fear, as if they were his own. It was a connection he had never expected, yet it was more powerful than anything he had ever known.

He burst into his father's study, his eyes wild with desperation. "Father, I need to leave immediately."

Beron looked up from his papers, his expression one of mild irritation. "And why, exactly, do you think you have the right to leave?"

Eris struggled to keep his voice steady, the pain making it difficult to think clearly. "There's an urgent matter that I must attend to. Please, Father, it's a matter of life and death."

Beron's eyes narrowed, his expression hardening. "You have no right to leave the court without my explicit permission, Eris. Whatever this is, it can wait."

Eris's heart pounded, a mix of fear and frustration coursing through him. "Father, please, this cannot wait."

Beron stood, his presence imposing as he loomed over Eris. "You will stay here, Eris. You have duties to the court that cannot be ignored for your whims. If you defy me, you will face severe consequences."

Eris clenched his fists, the bond's agony nearly bringing him to his knees. He couldn’t tell his father about the mating bond—it would only complicate things further, perhaps even endanger Y/N more. But the pain was unbearable, each second a testament to her suffering.

"Understood," Eris managed to say through gritted teeth, his body trembling with the effort to remain standing. He turned and left the room, his mind racing. He couldn’t leave openly, but he had to find a way to reach Y/N.

As he made his way back to his chambers, he devised a plan. He would have to be discreet, find a way to slip past the guards and leave the Autumn Court without drawing attention. His mate's life depended on it.

"Hold on, Y/N," he whispered fiercely, "I will find a way."

The bond thrummed with urgency, a desperate call that he could not ignore. Eris steeled himself, determination hardening his resolve. He would find a way to reach her, no matter the cost.

--------

The room was heavy with silence as the latest memory faded away. Rhysand stood motionless, his mind reeling from the intensity of what they had just witnessed. His breathing was uneven, and his heart pounded painfully in his chest. He could still feel the echoes of Y/N's and Eris's agony, the depth of their connection, and the horror of the attack.

Feyre, standing beside him, looked up with concern etched on her face. The rest of the Inner Circle shared her worried glances, the gravity of the memories weighing on them all.

Rhysand's gaze was distant as he pieced together the fragments of the memories they had just seen. The pain, the urgency, the raw emotion—everything clicked into place with a terrifying clarity. He clenched his fists, the reality of the situation hitting him like a tidal wave.

Feyre gently placed a hand on his arm, grounding him. "Rhys, what is it?" she asked softly, her voice trembling with concern.

Rhysand turned to face his friends, his eyes dark with the weight of his revelation. The room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for him to speak. He swallowed hard, his throat dry as he finally found the words.

"They were mates," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper but filled with a profound mix of shock and sorrow.

The declaration hung in the air, a stark truth that changed everything. The Inner Circle exchanged stunned glances, the full impact of what Rhysand had said sinking in. They understood the implications, the depth of the bond that had been so cruelly severed.

For a moment, no one spoke, the enormity of the revelation settling over them like a heavy shroud. Rhysand closed his eyes, the pain of the memories still raw in his mind, knowing that this discovery was just the beginning of a much larger and more dangerous journey.

"He knew she was going to die."

Part 4

Tagging some:

@callsign-magnolia

@kmc1989

@hardballoonlove

@senawashere

@hookslove1592

@marvel-molly

@lucky7rosie

@daughterofthemoons-stuff

@lilah-asteria

@crossfandomslut

@pit-and-the-pen

@inky-sun

@the-sweet-psycho

@why4anne

@bunnyredgirl

@rcarbo1

@pandabiiissh

@adalia-jaycee

[imagionationstation]

From Mercy To Murder

I love how Leo likes people, unless they have proven themselves as a (real) danger to his family. Then the only reason immediate murder is not forthcoming is because it may scar his impressionable brothers.

And this protective streak heightens an insane amount once he becomes the father/Sensei. He takes his role SERIOUSLY.

Miyamoto Usagi leads his brothers off a cliff? A CLIFF?

Nu-uh, no way, instant red flag. NOT TODAY!

Who cares if he's their only hope of getting home? Not Leo!

Dude killed his bros?

Welp, time to fight him to the death. There's no other option here, it seems. Leo will fight him and he will win- but, heck, if the leader fails and dies, he joins his brothers so there's really no losing here.

Dracula is my absolute fav Sensei moment.

There were little implications that they were going to do anything more than simply trying to talk to the Vampire until Raph got separated and knocked down. Now he's realizing the potential of all of them getting hurt or worse. Suddenly, Leo craves violence.

He's never even made eye contact with the guy, but Leo will stake Dracula through the heart with zero hesitations if it means that the current dangers posed to his brothers will end sooner than later.

Donnie loves his brother and he understands where he's coming from, but he feels like a family intervention may be needed someday.

[weebsinstash]

Thinking bout how mean demi Alastor would be regarding the post cheating/meltdown/breakup sex… he’s still a sadist and now that he’s more comfortable with physical intimacy and like 20% more deranged that def gets reflected in his “catering to your needs”. Overstim, edging, anything that leaves you at his “mercy”

Reader, visibly sweating because YOU know that HE knows most of the dirty dirty nasty NASTY SHENANIGANS you've committed in the last month or two of Just Straight Up Sluttery: so Alastor, now that you've discovered this new part of yourself, surely you've, uh, developed some new tastes and healthy outlets for intimacy?

Alastor, who's just spent the last several weeks rounding up all your sexual partners and he does mean ALL of them to torture every last detail of what you did out of them, and has recently discovered how much he likes the feeling of a riding crop in his hands, along with a list of kinks where cheating/cuckoldry is definitely NOT one of them: oh yes :) healthy outlets :) so anyways my pet, about your punishment--

You're just like "ok Alastor um, since you're new to this and old fashioned you probably want to, cuddle, and, ease into it, and--" bitch he wants to tie you up. Bitch he has developed SUCH a craving for watching you tied up and helpless because, oh you're so sweet and vulnerable and need him to protect you ❤️ his sweet vulnerable little doe ❤️ aw, your struggling is so cute ❤️ do you want to be let go? Guess you better beg nice and pretty~

I dunno man... I was LITERALLY discussing a concept like this with an asexual buddy of mine actually, the amount of aces horny for Alastor is giving, truly, and we were MUTUALLY like, "listen... listen... asexuality is real and we respect that, ok... but it's also a spectrum... and I want this man going his entire life and afterlife not caring or having a taste for those things UNTIL he meets you and he has to deal with, discover, and come to understand all his new desires" and I keep thinking of multiple ways to swing that?

Just him having his equivalent of his first schoolboy crush and not knowing why he can't stop himself from laughing at your jokes? Why is he suddenly so... POSSESSIVE of your company? Why does he want to hurt the men who come around you even more than usual? He goes to Rosie for advice and she's just, DROPPING HER TEA CUP, "oh ALASTOR HONEY, you've got yourself a little crush!!" and all but squealing with delight as she wants ALL the details and, well, Rosie IS a trusted friend... and once he starts talking about you, he can't stop himself for some reason, he just enjoys sharing little details and stories and things about you amd, oh gosh Rosie you should hear this thing that happened the other day it was just the most charming little--

I want this man coming to take you back and he's kicking some door down and he finds you THROATING A GUY. I want it AWKWARD. I want him finding you doing something that immediately makes everyone involved go OH SHIT. I want some dude freaking out hollering "THE RADIO DEMON?!" because he and a buddy were spitroasting you on your hands and knees and you give a very recognizable "alastor????" around the dude's meat CLEARLY KNOWING THE GUY and your unlucky one night stand has his Oh Fuck moment as he makes perfect eye contact with the notorious cannibal who is currently witnessing this, uh, gentleman having his hand fisted in your hair as he--

Just the mental image of, it's the end of the night or even the morning and the fucking sun is coming up or, their time equivalent of sunrise since I don't think they have like days and nights, but, Alastor is just sitting there reading a book humming to himself, completely put together not a hair out of place, with candles going, a gentle song on the radio, and beside him you're just facedown completely naked in bed with welts all over your ass as his shadow gives you a nice aftercare massage. Dude just sips some coffee, humming and smirking as he regards you "now did we learn our lesson about... making impulsive unsafe decisions without consulting our partner?"

you, still face down as your legs still refuse to stop shaking: that if I want to get fucked really hard all I have to do is commit adultery?

Alastor, who has recently discovered all the Super Fun New Ways he can fuck 'discipline' you for riling him up and getting him jealous on purpose because now that he's finally acting like this it's all but making you a cat in heat 'being a brat', smiling with legitimate sadistic glee as he reaches for a pair of leather gloves: incorrect :)

[hamliet]

the notion that bnha is pro authoritarianism or social hierarchies is nonsensical not to mention acting like being pro cop is bad

Err... BNHA is pretty pro-authoritarian. I actually find it pretty disturbing. And that's even if the story turns out with the League alive at the end.

As for being pro-cop--cops are human individuals, yes. But people have in recent years in multiple countries (including Japan, by the way) protested against cops being used as tools to maintain social hierarchies wherein people who are not part of that hierarchy suffer for daring to want to be treated as human beings. When I say I'm anti-cop, I'm not saying I hate anyone on the basis of being a cop. But I am saying that the ways in which the police force are used in many countries does societal harm. Critical thinking, yo.

Honestly I feel like this whole story (BNHA) and fans reactions throughout (especially when compared to other stories) demonstrate how people are not using critical thinking. And that can have real world consequences, though it doesn't have to.

I just find it weird that people are okay with a story where the ruling class is always right and always wins. Like... how have they not? I mean, even stories that end up suggesting the ruling class isn't entirely wrong or show flaws in rebellions generally don't go hard on the authoritarianism. But Horikoshi... is doing this.

The whole thing is so weird to me personally, too, because Horikoshi's wishy-washy framing and switches in coding generally seem to be the result of him caring, deeply, what his audience thinks and feels. Too much, really, but it also seems like he genuinely doesn't want to hurt people. Except this ending--even if Tenko does reappear as New Character and saves the League--is the exact opposite. (If Tenko doesn't reappear, then everything I'm about to say is multiplied by a thousand.)

It's catering to mean-spiritedness, and while I do understand fiction isn't reality, the side he's catering to now is making the argument that fictional crimes are real crimes and thus must meet real penalties.

I can play this game too.

If people are gonna make those arguments, I'm going to say they're the problem and the reason we have wars, genocides, assaults, and more.

If you ever want a cycle of violence/abuse to stop, someone has to accept that they've taken the last punch. Not keep going until the other side is WIPED OUT.

If you equate justice with equalizing losses, then you are enacting Dazai from BSD's statement on justice: justice is a weapon. You can never heal by it.

If you want to heal, you have to stop fighting and bandage wounds. And maybe you are too injured to do the bandaging. That's okay. But someone else can, and if you try to stop them on the premise of "but no one bandaged my wounds" you're a bitter person who makes the world a worser place.

If you say a tragedy is the story, sure. But you have to set up tragedies from the start. See, Attack on Titan, which's ending I love. It began with someone crying and an ominous message to the future. You don't set up your first chapter with "this is the story of how I become the greatest hero!" spend 200+ chapters criticizing hero society and have the hero fail at the goal he'd been repeating for 200 chapters in the end and join hero society and still think you wrote a story that delivered in what you promised. You failed.

Either you wrote a tragedy and are trying to pass it off as a happy story (see how well that works usually) or your understanding of a happy story is pretty much just fascist propaganda. And yes, BNHA does have fascist themes at this point. Way more than AoT ever did. But they have smiles and cute frog girls so it's not nearly as dangerous, right? (sarcastic).

The thing is, this is where the lack of critical thinking comes in. While I've seen people talk a bit about how BNHA seems like copaganda, it's taking things much, much further than other stories usually do and into territory where I'm frankly disturbed.

Yes, BNHA started out as a clever critique of hero society and of the very idea it's now seeming to uphold: that the human instinct (which is universal in real life to) to idolize people leads to a lack of humanity for those who do not have those traits we idolize, whether their fault or not, and for people to become villains in response. But not only has it failed to deliver on this premise by upholding society (hey, Naruto and to a degree Tokyo Ghoul also failed to completely change society), it's gone so far as to endorse what it previously criticized.

It's more akin to Game of Thrones Season 8 upholding racism, sexism, and classism, than it is to Naruto or Tokyo Ghoul. GoT ended with a joke about prioritizing brothels being open, as if the misogyny was actually a good thing and not what caused a lot of the problems. There's no critical lens here. It's just like "hey, there was no point in struggling. Monarchies that abuse women, rah rah, let's go!"

BNHA seems to be going a similar route. Deku's murder of Shigaraki, Ochaco's crying over Toga, the way Shouto reaches out to Touya--it's sad, but not framed as something the audience should see as a wrong done on behalf of heroes. In fact, the heroes are not criticized at all. Frickin' Edgeshot, whom no one cares about, is fine. All of them are fine. Their statuses are generally fine, too, except maybe Enji's and even then he's not like going to face the fate of the League and die alone. His family still supports him. Hawks is completely fine and framed positively. His regret over Twice is pure lipservice. Deku really did just need to kill Shigaraki, and all his "I want to save" spiel, much like Ochaco's, is for naught. He just needed to learn to grow up and get in line.

Even if Tenko comes back, and even if Deku like... somehow knew this would happen via vestiges or whatnot (let's be real, he will if this is the case), and the message is just that society isn't ready to move forward, but at least they can live, then... I don't know, y'all. That's still depressing. I don't see how Deku is a hero for that, much less the greatest number one hero. He decided to be a hero at the cost of his own integrity, and if this was a gritty story about the realistic struggle of living in a capitalistic society where ethics are always compromised that would make sense, but... it's not. Even until the final battle, the characters were endorsing idealism.

At the very least, Horikoshi didn't deliver on his promise in the first chapter. At the very worst, he's endorsing fascist ideals.

Like, I'm sorry, but "kill this person for the good of society," the violent upholding of oppressive societal hierarchies, the importance of being a cop hero and the way the military hero brutalities are worshipped, the way heroes are lauded and everyone who doesn't get in line with this is punished, went from being criticized to being endorsed. Those are all central elements of fascism.

The little guy deserves to lose, but, but Deku is the little guy, so it can't be! Except it can be. Because it's actually pretty common irl even to trot out examples of people like Candace Owens to be like "hey, you can't possibly say Republicans are racist!"

And don't you dare say "but Japanese culture makes it unreasonable to expect a non retributive justice!" The Japanese people are not a monolith. Not to mention... Naruto, Bungou Stray Dogs, Monster, Hunter x Hunter, Yu Yu Hakusho, Mawaru Penguindrum, Oshi no Ko, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, and Tokyo Ghoul all say hi.

I hated the TG ending, and still hate it, but I'm not going to say that it upheld the CCG as right all along because it didn't. BNHA thus far is doing that with hero society. And even if the answer is for the League be revived and to leave society or whatever, then how can we be happy Deku is a part of this society? How can we root for him, or his classmates? Is he going to work from the inside to change it? Why wasn't that emphasized beforehand as a theme or struggle?

tl;dr Horikoshi has cooked his story no matter what he does now, and I don't think it's salvageable. Either way it has themes that are disturbing especially considering real world events across the globe, and that people should be more aware of instead of focusing solely on stories that have fascism and monsters in them but don't uphold it.

[frvnkcastles]

Could I please request one where reader is dating Frank but kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering when or if Frank’s going to break up with her constantly since her last boyfriend (and several ex “best” friends) left/ghosted/broke up with her unexpectedly for no reason so she doesn’t know why and worries about her body/everything she wears and everything she says and does and is trying not to do anything wrong so Frank doesn’t do the same to her but Frank of course catches on, finds out the problem and makes her see different and that’s she beautiful and worth staying and being cared for even though it’s hard to believe because no one has ever chosen her and wanted to stay before…

Thank you, I love your work ❤️😊

I CAN SEE A LOVE RESTRAINED ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You’ve been hurt one too many times, and letting Frank in isn’t as easy as you’d like it to be.

Warnings: Abandonment/trust issues, body image issues, angst, hurt/comfort, reader is friends with Matt, feminine nicknames, language

Word count: 3.2k

Author’s note: Thank you so much for the support, anon! I definitely understand this feeling that you described and it really sucks. That said, I’m positive people will appreciate you and see how wonderful you are, don’t give up <3

It was fair to say that your past relationships, romantic as well as platonic, had left their mark on you. You were a naturally affectionate and loving kind of woman but being left on multiple occasions had hardened you, made you more reluctant to share the love that you had within you. It was a natural reaction — you just didn’t want to get hurt again, and so, you settled for keeping people at a distance, never really allowing yourself to lower your defenses enough to let anyone in.

That proved to be extremely hard when you met Frank. He was handsome and intriguing, not a very talkative guy but he had effortlessly made you smile and laugh, regardless. He had been reserved about you, too, mostly because he wasn’t looking for anything casual nor serious, and he certainly didn’t trust Red to find him the kind of company he liked. But when his friend of sorts had insisted on introducing you to him, annoyingly persistent, he had caved in and figured it couldn’t hurt to give a chance to the person Red spoke so highly of.

”How come you ain’t together if she’s so perfect?” Frank had questioned, fully suspicious of Matt and his intentions, but the man had quickly laughed him off.

”I don’t think we’re meant to be anything more than friends. But she’s a wonderful person and I think you’d hit it off. I’m not just doing this for you, I think she could use some company, too”, Matt had explained, not entirely acting with your blessing. In fact, you had no idea what he was up to, but he knew you well enough — you were getting lonely whether you wanted to admit or not, and despite their disagreements, he knew Frank could be worthy of your time.

And that was how you ended up shaking Frank’s hand in your favorite bar where you never went to find company, just a drink after a long week. Matt had known you’d be there and more or less shoved Frank inside, and as annoyed as he was, Frank couldn’t deny that the sight of you immediately made his heart skip a beat.

”Did Matt put you up to this?” you asked eventually, well-aware that the two of them worked together often. It wasn’t frequent for Matt to set you up with anyone, but he was the only thing common between you and Frank, and you weren’t stupid.

Caught, Frank chuckled. ”Yeah, yeah, he did. I ain’t gonna lie, I had my reservations but uh, talkin’ to you… I don’t regret comin’ in here. You seem real sweet”, he admitted, his eyes lingering on your figure. Not only did he find you sweet, he thought you were absolutely gorgeous, and he fucking hated the fact that he was going to have to tell Matt he had been right.

You blushed at Frank’s words and shrugged. ”Thanks, but I—I’m not really looking for anything right now. You seem great too, don’t get me wrong”, you gave him a half-apology, chewing on your lip nervously. He was charming, you had to give him that much, but you really weren’t up for having your heart broken yet again, and so, you found it best to keep Frank at an arm’s length.

”Hey, I get it. Can’t say I was expectin’ anything much when I walked through that door but I guess you kinda got me rethinkin’, ’s all”, he nodded in understanding before licking his lips and taking the plunge. ”Maybe we could get another drink sometime? No pressure, no expectations. Just hangin’ out, I guess”, Frank went on, a hopeful look in his eyes, and it wore you down.

”Sure”, you swallowed, feeling familiar anxiety rush in your veins as you agreed.

But like he said, there were no expectations. It could just be two friends grabbing a beer, nothing more. So, you gave him your phone number and hoped for the best.

You met up a couple of times after that. Frank couldn’t believe he was being so forward and that he really was so into you, but it was a fact he couldn’t deny. He had a strong will and good self-control, but he found himself losing all of that around you. Previously used to solitude and being wary of new connections, he now felt hooked on you, needing more and more even if he was willing to do it on your terms.

He could tell you liked him back, though. As much as you tried not to, you couldn’t help it. You started to feel less lonely and he occupied your thoughts on a daily basis, and it scared the shit out of you. You weren’t ready to fall in love again, but it seemed your heart wasn’t waiting for permission.

A few weeks passed with you getting to know one another, and one night, he was walking you home in the dark night, far too protective to let you make it all by yourself. Once at the door of your apartment building, you both lingered, not quite ready to say goodbye, but unsure what else there was left to say.

”I had a good time, sweetheart. I’m glad you ain’t sick of my clingy ass yet”, he joked, and it made you smile nervously. You were mere inches away from each other, his taller build towering over you with his fingertips brushing against yours. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you could feel the undeniable tension in the air, and so could he.

”Of course, not. I like spending time with you”, you whispered, quiet but close enough for Frank to hear. His heart soared at your words, flattered and honored that for someone who chose her company carefully, you had given him the time of the day.

His eyes fell to your lips, and when you didn’t pull away, he made the move and leaned in. Right before his lips could graze yours, though, you ducked your head with a swell of panic in your chest. It was all too real suddenly and the idea of moving from a mutual interest to something concrete terrified you.

”Shit”, Frank breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut. ”Sorry, I shoulda asked. Just thought… Doesn’t matter. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”, he added while stepping back, and in an instant, guilt and regret took over your body. Seeing the rejection on his face hurt worse than the risk of letting him in, and that was enough for you to know that kiss or no kiss, you were in too deep.

”No, I’m sorry. It’s me, I—I just can’t. Sorry”, you repeated before turning your heel and rushing inside, too embarrassed to stay and look at Frank’s hurt face any longer.

He frowned at your words, but let you go. He had pushed your limits enough for one night, but even if he didn’t stop you from running indoors, he couldn’t help but get stuck on what you had said. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him back, something else was holding you back, and that caused worry to flare up in him. Clearly, someone had hurt you badly, and he felt pure anger at the simple thought of it.

That same night, he tracked Red down, itching to pick a fight, but mostly he wanted to find out what was stopping you from going all in. He could sympathize — after all, he had closed himself off to relationships after Maria, and even now, when he had grown so attached to you, he struggled with that little nagging guilt in the back of his head that didn’t want him to move on.

”She ain’t ready, Red. Wanna tell me what happened or should I punch it out of ya?” Frank grumbled as he joined Matt on the rooftop, an unhappy look on his face that only deepened when he saw the mysterious smile on his friend’s face.

”You weren’t ready, either”, Matt retorted before sighing deeply. ”She’s been hurt a lot, Frank. Every guy she’s been with has broken her heart. It’s the same with best friends, too. Everyone leaves her. So, yeah, she’s careful about who she lets in”, he continued, causing the anger to fade from Frank’s face. At least Red had stayed, but he knew he wasn’t the most stable presence, either. He didn’t think he himself would be, for that matter, but he wanted so badly to prove to you that he’d stick around.

”She don’t deserve that”, Frank grunted, unable to understand why anyone would turn their back on you. Sure, you were stunning in a way that took his breath away, but you were also a good, caring person. You had such a big heart and you were an excellent listener, not to mention how funny you could be. And even though you knew who Frank was and what he had done, you had never judged him.

”I agree. That’s why I wanted you to meet with her. Platonic or romantic, I knew you could appreciate her for who she is”, Matt explained, and sighing, Frank couldn’t deny that he had been right. He thought you were amazing, and he really wanted you to know that.

So, the next day, he made his way to your apartment. He was uncharacteristically nervous, his usual cool demeanor cracking under the pressure of the situation, but he was good at concealing it. He stood on your doorstep, calm and collected, and once he had knocked and you opened the door, you couldn’t have suspected he was feeling troubled in any way.

”Frank”, you exhaled, honestly surprised. You were sure that your refusal to kiss him would have pushed him away, but here he was, and you reluctantly felt relieved. You had given him enough reason to walk away, but he kept showing up, and it gave you hope.

”Red told me about your shitty exes. I want ya to know that they’re assholes for leavin’ you like that and that… that I wouldn’t do that. I know I come with a lot of baggage, but I swear to you, I’d treat you right, sweetheart. Shit, you really… you really got me, y’know? I really care about you and I wish I could make you less scared ’cause I know you care about me, too”, he rambled, calling you out in a way that maybe you needed to be.

Gulping, you nodded to confirm he was right. ”I do care about you. I wish I didn’t, but I do”, you confessed, sending his heart reeling. ”I just don’t want to be let down again. I really can’t do it again”, you pointed out, not sure if Frank would get it, but he did.

”I hear you, sweetheart. It ain’t the same thing, but I know loss, and I don’t wanna go through it again. Maybe we could learn to trust again together. I know it’s fuckin’ scary to let your guard down, I sure as hell have a hard time with it, but you make me wanna try”, he shared, his voice so soft and careful. He wasn’t used to opening up about his feelings, but he knew you needed honesty, and he wanted to give it to you.

”Okay. I… I think I can do that. I want to trust you”, you told him, sparking a smile on his face.

Hesitating, he stepped closer to you and took his hand in your own. ”Can I kiss you?” he asked in that low, husky tone of his, full of want, and it sent a shiver down your body. You nodded, and he broke into a grin, cradling your face in one massive hand and dropping his mouth to yours. It was slow and careful, just testing the waters, but you could tell he was holding back, and it made your stomach do flips. He really wanted you, needed you even, and that felt so good.

He was willing to take things slow. However you wanted him, he was yours. And sure enough, you fell into a comfortable rhythm with him, both of you head over heels for one another, and Matt was pleased whenever you two showed up to a night out together, Frank’s hand protectively around your waist. The three of you began to spend more time together, allowing Frank to see the more carefree, relaxed side of you that Matt brought out, but you also dedicated plenty of moments to just you and Frank. Right before your eyes, you built a relationship, and you were so happy with him.

Nevertheless, there was something of a dark cloud above your head, invisible to Frank but so heavy on you. Your mind fed you constant worries and anxiety — since everyone else had left, surely Frank would do the same. And without even fully realizing it, you began taking great measures to avoid such a fate.

”Which one do you like better?” you asked Frank, holding up two dresses that were casual enough for your movie date, but too important for you to make the decision on your own. You had become highly worried about everything you wore, always wondering if Frank liked what you had on or if he was ashamed to be seen with you. Maybe your body wasn’t good enough, to begin with.

”Why’re you askin’ me, sweetheart? You’ll look stunnin’ either way”, he chuckled, not really seeing the point, but his answer didn’t satisfy you.

”Pick one. Please?” you pleaded, desperately wanting his input, and it twisted his face with surprise.

”Uh, alright. The one on the right”, Frank chose, and instantly, your stomach dropped — you had thought the one on the left was better. But it mattered to you what he thought, as you certainly didn’t want to give him any reason to leave you, and so, you put on the dress he had pointed out.

You picked at it the whole drive to the movie theater, uncomfortable with how your body looked in it and convinced that Frank was seeing it, too. You felt insecure and you wanted to cancel the entire date, but you didn’t want to upset him, so you swallowed it down.

”Somethin’ wrong with the dress, baby?” Frank noticed your compulsive touching at the clothing, and feeling exposed by his question, you gave him a weak smile.

”No, no, nothing. It’s alright”, you insisted, before swiftly changing the subject. Still, Frank didn’t forget about it. If anything, he was starting to notice a pattern of you seeming so uncomfortable in your own skin, leaving him stuck between wanting to reassure you and fearing he’d only be creating a problem by bringing it up.

He picked up on the anxiety that followed you pretty easily. But it wasn’t until you began putting yourself down out loud that he cut in.

”Hey, bring me that black shirt f’me?” Frank called out from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth, preparing for the day ahead of him. You reacted to his request as quickly as you could, digging through his designated half of the closet to find that one button-up you loved to see on him and hastily carrying it to the bathroom for him.

You handed the shirt over, and you instantly clocked the look on his face. ”Oh, shit, I shoulda specified. The other one, sweetheart. This one got all torn up from that one asshole’s knife the other night”, he corrected you gently and with care, but it hit you straight in the heart, making you feel like you couldn’t do anything right.

”Sorry. Sorry, I—I’m stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking”, you stammered, turning around to go back to the closet, but Frank stopped you with a grip on your wrist.

”Hey, you ain’t stupid. It was a mistake. Where’s this comin’ from, huh?” he glanced you over with concern, hating the sound of you criticizing yourself like that. He saw no need for it, and the way you jumped to it was something he wasn’t going to look past.

You shrugged, trying to move on from it, but Frank wasn’t that easily convinced. ”Look at me, sweetheart”, he demanded softly, and shyly, you brought your gaze up to his. ”I don’t like you speakin’ that way ’bout yourself. You didn’t do anythin’ wrong, yeah? It ain’t a big deal”, he promised, and his attempts to reassure you got your eyes to sting with incoming tears.

”I just don’t wanna do something to make you leave me”, you whispered, wiping your eyes to avoid him seeing you cry. ”Sorry”, you added, and shaking his head, Frank pulled you in, his head tilted down at you. He was so close, you could sense his warmth and his stare, and you felt so vulnerable in the small space.

”There’s nothin’ to apologize for, sweet darlin’. Hey, listen to me. There ain’t a thing you could do to make me leave. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, ’m here to stay. I wanna be with you. The real you, includin’ every little thing you think I couldn’t love. I do”, Frank started, staring you down and trying to make you see he was completely serious. He would have never done anything to hurt you on purpose, and he wished he would have had the words to convince you.

”You really mean that?” you asked weakly, trembling from anxiety. You really wanted to believe him, but it was hard to unlearn everything you had grown so accustomed to.

”I mean it, baby”, he swore, leaning in to kiss your forehead. ”Is this why you keep bein’ so careful with what you say around me? And why you ask me what you should be wearin’?” he wondered, and embarrassed to admit it, you nodded.

”I just want you to still think I’m worth it”, you sighed, breaking Frank’s heart.

”Clearly I ain’t been very good at this boyfriend thing, ’cause I never want you to doubt how I feel ’bout you. You’re fuckin’ gorgeous, and I adore everythin’ you do and are. Can’t think of anyone sweeter and kinder than you. You’re the best thing to happen to me in a long while and I… I love you”, he told you, sincere and full of feeling. His words made your eyes widen, and for a moment, you were at a loss for words, but eventually, the right thing tumbled out of your mouth.

”I love you, Frank”, you smiled, unable to hold back the joy you felt upon hearing that. ”I’m always the one to love more. To get more attached. But you… you really care about me, don’t you?” you spoke in amazement, starting to see that he was serious about you.

”You’re goddamn right I do. And you’ll always be worth it to me, pretty girl. Nothin’s gonna change that”, he emphasized, his dark eyes filled to the brim with something fiery. For the first time since you had met him, you trusted in him one hundred percent and didn’t let the inevitable anxiety and doubt shift your faith.

As he leaned down to kiss you, passionate and needy, you felt like you had found your happy ending. And for once, you had hope, and thought that with Frank, you actually had a chance of healing.