#and he's a bit blind to that because he's trying to compensate for peter

[lucy-moderatz]

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

The struggles that come with being a Stark

Summary: Y/n has been very down lately and feels completely alone even if the tower is buzzing with Avengers every day. On one particular morning y/n is forced to come out of his room and he heads down to his father’s lab, y/n feels very ignored and storms out crying. Peter goes after y/n and gets him to open up. Can something deemed “broken” be fixed?

Words: 2.4k

⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, some light swear words

Pairing: Tony Stark!dad and reader!son

Note: the timeline is all funky to my understanding but please just roll with it... again

It had been good for a while, really good, but in the back of your mind, you knew it was only a matter of time until things got bad again.

And eventually, they did. Like always

It started with the little things. When you didn’t have the energy to put the freshly washed clothes you thought nothing of it. It started with feeling the need to sleep all the time, you tried to blame it on stress, not wanting to admit how bad things truly were.

Getting up in the morning was harder, showering was suddenly too time-consuming. Before you had the time to realise what was truly going on, you were laying in your own filth. Surrounded by stuff you couldn’t remember ever bringing into your room, the blinds were closed. Sometimes you opened the one closest to your bed, it was nice to watch the outside world from time to time. You saw how your friends ran and played outside, ever since Peter joined the Avengers it was like they just got more and more childish, but it was nice. All of the Avengers had rough lives and seeing them so happy made you feel a sense of relief. This was all Peter’s doing, he was keeping the atmosphere good, it didn’t necessarily matter if you weren’t there, they’d be fine.

That’s what you told yourself, ending it all wasn’t something you necessarily thought about, but it was a game in your head. A fantasy really, a game you noticed yourself playing more often than not. The game kept you busy, sometimes for an entire day.

  But there were days when the game wasn’t as fun, on those days you went outside of your room, you tried to do it so that no one would see you, sometimes you’d run into Steve or even to your dad, but not often. Your dad, Tony, made jokes of how you had ”emerged from your cave” and if you were too unfortunate enough to walk out of your room when a lot of them were in the kitchen or in the living room, you’d get an ”oh how nice of you to join us”. You knew that he didn’t do that to hurt you, but it ended up doing exactly that. His words stung, they haunted you even when you were alone, like an echo in your head.

You woke up when the sun hit your eyes, you had forgotten to close the blinds, again. ”Jarvis, close the blinds,” you said, voice groggy. No answer. ”Jarvis?” You asked again, receiving no answer. You groaned as you realised that you had to go down to your dad’s workshop, to tell your dad that Jarvis wasn’t working in your room. You sat up on your bed, feeling hazy. You slowly stood up to walk towards the elevator.

Your dad was working with Peter in his workshop. ”Dad?” You called out from the door, no answer. ”Dad?” You tried again, louder this time. Peter noticed you as you stood by the door. ”Mr Stark,” Peter said, immediately catching your dad’s attention. Peter pointed in your direction. ”Oh, what’s up?” Tony asked, quickly looking at you before turning back to his work. It frustrated you to see your dad ignoring you in such an obvious matter, it annoyed you that he didn’t hear you but he heard Peter.

Frustration turned into sadness as tears prickled by your waterline, you tried to blink them away as you cleared your throat, catching your dad’s attention. ”What is it?” He asked, sounding annoyed in your opinion. ”Nothing, just that J-Jarvis isn’t working in my room,” you said as you walked away. You didn’t want your dad or Peter to see when you cried. ”What’s up with y/n?” You heard Peter’s voice ask as you walked away from your father and him. ”I don’t know, maybe y/n’s feeling a little upset,” you heard your father say, clearly trying to say it in a way so that you wouldn’t hear. ”Should someone check up on y/n then?” You heard Peter ask. You didn’t hear what your father said due to the fact that the elevator doors had closed.

As the doors closed, your tears began travelling down. You weren’t jealous of Peter, you couldn’t be, he brought so much happiness to everyone. It kind of pissed you off how smart he was, you had your fair share of skills which your dad used to take interest in, he tried to get you interested in anything that might involve your skills, thus making you develop. But since Peter came along, it was all about him, it was good that your dad had someone to share things with, since you weren’t really interested in his field, but it still hurt to not get even nearly as much attention from him as you used to.

You weren’t really feeling your nest today, just in case your dad came by to fix Jarvis, which you highly doubted, you wanted to be somewhere else. Maybe the vents, there you could spy on people, you used to love being in there as a child, but abandoned that when you turned older.

You climbed inside the vent and were surprised by how spacious it still was, even for a young adult like you. You had no idea which way you should go but decided to follow the noise that reached the vent, Natasha and Steve in the training area. They were fighting each other while having a rather loud conversation. ”I don’t know what’s wrong with y/n, but I also don’t think that it’s okay for Tony to just ignore it all. He’s not doing anything to make y/n feel better,” Natasha said as he swung Steve’s legs from under him. Steve’s back hit the ground, getting his air lightly knocked out. ”But young people get sad all the time, why should he jump at y/n’s every whim?” Steve asked as he slowly got up from the floor. ”Y/n isn’t just sad, something is wrong and we should help,” Natasha said and kicked Steve in the chest. Steve grabbed her leg and sent her flying across the room.

You didn’t bother listening to their conversation anymore, was everybody suddenly talking about you? Why was suddenly everyone on your case? Why did they care?

”Hey y/n,” you suddenly heard from behind you, making you yelp loudly. ”Hey sorry it’s just me,” Peter apologised. You fell against the wall of the vent but decided to stay there in a sitting position. ”What are you doing here?” You finally asked after calming down a bit. ”I came to check up on you, you seemed a bit off,” Peter explained. You groaned loudly, ”Why is everyone talking about me today!” You complained.

Peter settled to sit next to you, but still giving you space.

”Everyone is just worried, you look sad and we barely even see you anymore. You’re hard to even recognise nowadays.” Peter said, stealing glances at you. You groaned slightly, trying to decide how to possibly end the conversation.

”I do realise that I might be the last person you want to talk to, yet I’d beg to argue that I’m the one to understand you the best.” Peter was right, and you hated it. You banged your head against the wall of the vent in frustration, ”I hate that you’re right.” You finally admitted. You took a deep breath before opening your mouth, might as well. ”I don’t know, it started out small. I was a child and some bad stuff was going down and I really didn’t know how to deal, people are more likely to notice a depressed child than a depressed young adult I guess.” ”Dad got me some help. Talked to a real nice lady, gave me blocks to play with and all. Yeah well anyway, I thought I was better. A lot of years went by that I was completely okay, until recently.” You explained as you pulled on any loose cuticle or nail you could find on your fingers. ”It just crept up all of a sudden, I didn’t have the energy to fold my laundry or make my bed. And then I just started sleeping a lot, like a lot. And before you know it, I’m awake at three in the morning, on the roof, and I’m looking at an at least 20 story drop. And I have no idea what the hell I’m doing there.”

It felt like some weight was coming off of your shoulders, you silently shook, eyes getting a little teary - that was good, right? "And then there's the fact that I'm a Stark. I'm Tony Stark's son and expectations are laid on me every day, if not by him then the world. I don't know if I have what it takes. I mean, I am smart but I'll never be able to fill his shoes." You continued, drawing the curtain open a bit more.

”Did you ever think about telling Mr Stark?” Peter asked, curious.

”Well I mean, at first I didn’t even notice anything that alarming, and when I finally did notice, it felt like it was too late, you know? Like how would I even bring that up? Hey, dad, I kind of want to jump off of a building because I’m sad!” You said, the last part overly cheery to compensate the tears that currently were cascading down your cheeks.

Peter moved a little closer to you, ”You know, it’s never too late, Mr Stark loves you very dearly and he wants to help you.” When you didn’t answer Peter he took the chance to do his own monologue. ”You know, he never shuts up about you. To him, you’re his most successful invention, he always talks about you, never fails to mention your achievements, no matter how small. You’re the best son Mr Stark could have. He’s genuinely so proud of you and he loves you more than anything, it breaks him to see you like this because he’s so lost he doesn’t know what to do to help you.”

After that Peter let the silence sizzle in the air, he waited for you to say something. You needed a moment, what Peter said opened your eyes, you had never thought that your dad even could be proud of you and to hear that he was the proudest of you and he loved you that much just put things into perspective.

”To be completely honest, I was kind of jealous of you and the bond you have with my dad.” You admitted when you felt strong enough to talk again. Peter laughed a little, ”why on earth would you think that?”

”You build stuff together, the two of you as a duo looks like the most normal thing this tower has seen in years. It feels good to know that dad has someone to share his passions with since I’m not all that talented or interested in whatever the hell it is that you two do, yet I sometimes feel jealous. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel bad, it’s just my brain. I’ll get over it.”

”Do you want to go talk to Mr Stark?” Peter asked after a while. The moment was over, but you still wanted to thank him. ”I think I have to. By the way, thank you. Thank you for finding me and talking to me, it really means a lot.” You said and offered Peter a smile, a smile that was for the first time in months, genuine.

Peter returned the smile, ”It was nothing really, you would’ve done the same for me.”

”Mr Stark!” Peter called out once you entered the workshop, the dishevelled head of your precious dad shot up from somewhere admits all of the ”junk”.

”Y/n wants to talk to you!” Peter said before turning to you. ”It’ll be alright,” he reassured you and gave you a thumbs-up as he walked out, giving the two of you some privacy.

”Son! What’s up?” He asked when you approached him. He climbed out of a machine he was building. You took a deep breath as you sat down on something you felt would hold your weight. You felt your dad’s burning gaze, yet, you decided to not return it. You stared at your shaking hands as you slowly began. ”D-dad, I think I need help.” Silence. ”I don’t know, I’ve been feeling pretty bad lately and I feel like I should talk to someone about it.”

You heard your dad pull out something with wheels on it, he seemed to sit on it and roll towards you. His feet quickly came into your view. His hands slowly grabbed yours. ”Look at me,” he said, his voice shook just the tiniest amount. You slowly found his eyes and took the sight in. There was no disappointment or anger in his voice, just worry. ”I want to help you, and I will. But I need to know what’s going on.”

You sniffled a little, breaking the eye contact to collect yourself.

”I didn’t even notice it at first. I just didn’t have the energy to do the everyday things, I was exhausted all of the time. The next thing you know I’m having a staring contest with the concrete from the roof in the middle of the night. I don't even know why. I guess I'm just not happy anymore. It's not that my life sucks or something like that. I'm a Stark, people expect things and I don't know if I can amount to that greatness. I'm not like you, I'll never be." You said, trailing off at the end.

"Y/n, I'll never want you to be like me. You are perfect just the way you are, you are my son - best one anyone could ever ask for. I'll always love you and you're the most important thing to me in this whole world. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I promise I'll get you all the help you need and I promise to never leave your side." Tony said all of those things with ease, his voice shook but there was so much meaning in his voice. It was gentle and loving, like the hug he offered you. You accepted the hug since your dad was the best hugger in the world.

His arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders as you laid your head on his shoulder. "Y/n, I love you 3000, don't you ever forget that." He whispered into your hair.

[princessanneftw]

How Princess Anne became the shining light of the beleaguered monarchy

Once seen as haughty and aloof, today her old-school approach has never been more in demand

By Camilla Tominey, Associate Editor of the Telegraph.

Visitors to the Princess Royal’s house, Gatcombe Park, are often surprised to be greeted with antique-display cases groaning with ornaments, bookshelves overflowing with hardbacks and piles of magazines dating back to the 1970s. According to one friend, the 18th-century Grade II-listed Gloucestershire stately has a ‘homely’ feel, thanks to the frugal Princess’s reluctance to throw anything out.

��It’s quite a nice thing really,’ they said. ‘There’s barely a place you can sit down in her house. Every time the staff go in there they try to take something away.’ A surprising revelation, perhaps, about the Royal family’s resident stickler, whose decadesold ‘updo’ and penchant for wearing white gloves on royal engagements suggest a somewhat starchier outlook. But as the Queen’s only daughter prepares to celebrate her 70th birthday this month, it seems that appearances can be rather deceiving.

Now more valuable than ever to an institution not only trying to reposition itself in the wake of a global pandemic, but still smarting from the fallout of Megxit and the Duke of York’s association with Jeffrey Epstein, Anne’s old-school approach has never been more in demand. Despite describing herself as ‘the boring old fuddy-duddy at the back’, who keeps reminding the younger royals not to forgo ‘the basics’, the Princess Royal, who has always put duty first, is finally getting the recognition she deserves.

Her appearance in June alongside the 94-year-old monarch for Her Majesty’s first ever video call shows how much the Queen is coming to rely on the Princess. And the public response to her appearing to snub Donald Trump during a Nato leaders’ reception at Buckingham Palace last December suggests the nation is finally warming to her modus operandi.

Where once Anne was regarded as haughty and standoffish, she is now hailed as one of the great English eccentrics whose unparalleled royal work ethic, carrying out more than 500 engagements a year, has rightly earned her national treasure status.

And having allowed a film crew to shadow her for the past year, the Princess, who is usually reluctant to blow her own trumpet, has never appeared more at ease with herself. She was persuaded to take part in last week’s ITV documentary Princess Royal: Anne at 70 because its makers, Oxford Films, had successfully produced Our Queen and Our Queen at 90 about her mother. Shadowing Anne on her dusk-to-dawn engagements – and featuring interviews with her children Peter, 42, and Zara, 39 – the documentary revealed just how much the Princess is cut from the Queen’s ‘keep calm and carry on’ cloth.

Having been regarded as a bit of a royal renegade as a teenager – and chosen to forgo titles for her own children, despite her own HRH pedigree as a ‘spare to the heir’ – Anne’s life story is a contradiction of both protocol taskmaster and occasional rule-breaker. As one insider who knows the Princess well put it: ‘She can turn from laughing and joking one minute to being an absolute stickler for the rules the next. She’s extremely dutiful and would hate to be regarded as being on the wrong side of protocol. You’d never dream of asking her a political question and she’s not at all gossipy.’

Erin Doherty’s portrayal of Anne in The Crown, as the deadpan princess with the permanently raised eyebrow, certainly sums up her teenage years when the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were apparently so concerned about their daughter’s lack of direction, they asked the late Dame Vera Lynn for advice. Prince Philip, who famously joked of his daughter, ‘If it doesn’t fart or eat hay then she isn’t interested,’ allegedly confided in the Forces’ sweetheart: ‘We are concerned about Anne at the moment, trying to get her to make up her mind about what she wants to do.’

According to her school friend, Sandra de Laszlo, who boarded with Anne at Benenden: ‘She was a very normal teenager – sensible and fun.’ Leaving school with six O levels and two A levels in 1968, Anne had already resolved to follow in her parents’ duteous footsteps. Less than a year later, she made her official debut on 1 March – St David’s Day – when she handed out leeks to the Welsh Guards at Pirbright Camp in Surrey. It was to be the start of one of the most industrious royal careers in modern memory – with more than 20,000 engagements clocked up since.

Soon after she started work, she began dating – and in 1970, Anne’s first boyfriend was Andrew Parker Bowles, the dashing young adjutant of the Blues and Royals, who went on to marry Camilla Shand – later to become her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cornwall. The Princess and the brigadier – described as her ‘horsey husband’ – remain close and accompany each other to Royal Ascot and other race meetings every year.

Anne is also on good terms with her first husband, Captain Mark Phillips. A Sandhurst graduate with an equestrian streak, like Parker Bowles, Phillips met the Princess at a party for horse lovers in 1968 and reconnected at the Munich Olympics four years later, when he won team Olympic gold in the three-day eventing. They married in 1973. He was at the then 23-year-old Anne’s side a year later when she was threatened at gunpoint in an attempted kidnapping. The couple were returning to Buckingham Palace following a charity event when their limousine was forced to stop on the Mall by another car. When the driver, Ian Ball, jumped out and began shooting, Anne’s bodyguard, Inspector James Beaton, was injured, along with her chauffeur Alex Callender, and journalist Brian McConnell and Michael Hills, a police constable, who happened upon the scene.

But the attempt to hold Anne to ransom for at least £2 million is even more memorable thanks to the impervious Princess’s refusal to obey Ball’s order to get out of the car, replying with a trademark: ‘Not bloody likely!’ Eventually, she exited the other side of the limousine, as had her lady-in-waiting, Rowena Brassey (who is still with her to this day). A passing pedestrian, a former boxer named Ron Russell, punched Ball in the back of the head and led Anne away from the scene. Anne later told officers: ‘It was all so infuriating; I kept saying I didn’t want to get out of the car, and I was not going to get out of the car,’ according to files later released by the National Archives. ‘I nearly lost my temper with him, but I knew that if I did, I should hit him and he would shoot me.’

She was similarly sanguine about becoming the first member of the Royal family to have a criminal conviction after one of her dogs, a three-year-old English bull terrier called Dotty, attacked two children in Windsor Great Park in 2002. Pleading guilty to being in charge of a dog that was out of control in a public area, she insisted on no special treatment and took the £500 fine and £500 compensation on the chin.

The incident followed a number of brushes with the law for motoring offences, with Anne having twice been caught speeding on the M1 in the 1970s. She was also fined £100 and banned for one month in 1990 for two speeding offences and fined another £400 in 2000. On both occasions she pleaded guilty immediately, insisting she was late for an engagement.

As she said in the documentary, mistakes do happen when there is no ‘training’ for the job of being royal. ‘It’s just learning by experience. But hardly ever does anything go quite according to plan. You have to learn that.’ It wasn’t as if she didn’t feel the pressure of being the sovereign’s second-born, either – once describing the fly-on-the-wall Royal Family film, which followed the Windsors for a year in the late 1960s, as ‘a rotten idea’.

‘The attention that had been brought on one ever since one was a child, you just didn’t want any more. The last thing you needed was greater access.’

Famed for telling reporters to ‘naff orf ’, much of Anne’s mistrust of the media appears to stem from its rather uncomfortable coverage of Phillips fathering a love child, Felicity, with New Zealand art teacher Heather Tonkin in 1985. The Princess didn’t emerge unblemished either, having been revealed by The Sun to have received love letters from Tim Laurence, then the Queen’s equerry, in 1989, when she was separated – although still married to Phillips.

Anne and Mark finally divorced in 1992 and the Princess remarried eight months later, choosing Crathie Kirk in Scotland, as the Church of England did not at that time allow divorced persons whose former spouses were still living to remarry in its churches. The Prince of Wales had nicknamed Phillips ‘Fog’ on the grounds that he was ‘thick and wet’; but with his Royal Navy pedigree and impeccable manners, ‘quiet man’ Laurence fitted into the Royal family perfectly. One friend described the vice admiral as ‘a thoroughly decent man who never forgets a face’, before adding that ‘some may regard him as a little bit boring, but he’s a much safer bet than Mark ever was.’

Ever the pragmatist, Anne allowed Phillips to remain living on the Gatcombe estate, even after he married Sandy Pflueger, an American Olympic dressage rider, with whom he has a daughter, Stephanie, 22. As one equestrian insider put it: ‘The horsey set has always been very incestuous. Yes, Mark was serially unfaithful but there’s a lot of that going on – Anne just turned a blind eye.’

Now divorced from Pflueger, Phillips, 71, has vacated Aston Farm on the 730-acre estate, to make way for Zara, her rugbyplayer husband Mike Tindall, 41, and their daughters Mia, six, and Lena, two.

Peter also lives on the estate with his estranged wife Autumn, 42, and their daughters Savannah, nine, and Isla, eight. The couple are still living together despite announcing their divorce in January – an unexpected development that has left the Princess ‘sad and disappointed’, according to insiders.

One source said: ‘One thing about the Royal family is they are incredibly close. They are the most dysfunctional family there is, but the Princess and her children and grandchildren are as tight as anything.’

As ever, horse riding remains the tie that binds, with Anne – a former European eventing champion, BBC Sports Personality of the Year and competitor at the 1976 Montreal Olympics – passing on her enthusiasm for the sport to Zara. In recent years, Peter has taken over the running of the Festival of British Eventing at Gatcombe.

By her own admission, breaking with royal tradition by insisting that her children were called Mr and Miss ‘probably’ made life ‘easier for them’. ‘I think most people would argue that there are downsides to having titles,’ Anne said recently. Having initially been brought up, Downton Abbey-style, on the ‘nursery floor’, with her parents often away for months on end on royal tours, it was Anne who insisted she go to a ‘proper’ school – the first daughter of a monarch to do so – rather than be home-taught.

Both Peter and Zara were sent to Port Regis, a co-educational prep school in Dorset, before following in their uncle Charles’s footsteps to board at Gordonstoun in Scotland. Unlike the heir to the throne, who described it as ‘Colditz in kilts’, they thrived in the outdoorsiness of it all, excelled at sport and both ended up at Exeter University – Peter to study sports science and Zara, physiotherapy – despite university having eluded both their parents.

Zara also surpassed her mother’s equestrian achievements by winning the Eventing World Championships in 2006 and a silver medal at the 2012 Olympics – all while Anne was watching proudly from the sidelines.

One friend recalls how the Princess would think nothing of queuing up for the Portaloos at competitions like any other parent, much to the horror of Zara, who would tell her: ‘Mum, you can’t do that!’

Inconspicuous in her trademark Barbour jacket, tweed hat and sunglasses, Anne would regularly be stopped at events on her own estate by police not realising who she was. ‘I remember it happening a couple of times,’ said one source. ‘She was very good about it – she said: “Don’t worry, you weren’t to know.”’

After Zara collected individual and team gold medals at the 2005 European Eventing Championship in Blenheim, Anne invited the entire team, grooms and all, back to Gatcombe to celebrate, serving up ‘sandwiches and scampi in a basket’, in the courtyard. Very much a hands-on mother and grandmother, the Princess has a number of long-serving aides – but no large entourage. Along with Rowena Brassey (now Feilden), Lady Carew Pole has also been the Princess’s lady-in-waiting since 1970.

Unfussy Anne still insists on doing her own make-up and hair – which hasn’t been let down publicly in decades. Although according to one source who once witnessed the rare sight of her unclipping her bun and redoing it during an equestrian event: ‘It really is quite something. It’s still as long as it was when she was in her 20s.’

Part of Anne’s agelessness is down to genes. ‘She always says she doesn’t have very good role models for slowing down,’ Peter told the documentary. As Countryfile presenter John Craven found out when he dared to ask if Anne still rode, only to be rebuked: ‘Her Majesty is still riding, so come on!’ But as well as inheriting her mother’s DNA she shares HM’s strict adherence to style codes – and her aversion to profligacy.

Guests at the 2008 wedding of Lady Rose Windsor, the daughter of the Duke of Gloucester, were astonished when Anne arrived in the outfit she had worn to her brother’s wedding to Lady Diana Spencer, 27 years earlier. The size-10 Maureen Baker floral-print frock still fitted perfectly.

Quite what Anne must have made of Diana and Fergie’s wardrobe expenditure in the 1980s has never been disclosed – although it has long been reported that the Princess never thought too highly of either sister-in-law, regarding Diana particularly as ‘hogging the limelight’.

There were even reports that she viewed the pair as ‘lessening the stature’ of the Royal family, describing them behind the scenes as ‘those girls’. As royal biographer Penny Junor put it: ‘There was Diana on the one hand, who was incredibly touchy-feely, who hugged children, who put children on her lap, who even kissed people in public. And there was Anne, not touching anyone, not playing up to the cameras at all.’

As far removed from the suburban housewife as you can get, when Anne was once spotted mending fences at Gatcombe, she apparently retorted: ‘Somebody’s got to do it!’ ‘She’s never shirked anything in her life,’ said a friend. ‘She’s a real grafter.’

Weekends will invariably be spent with her four grandchildren. Revealing a surprising knowledge of popular culture – despite her dislike of indoor pursuits – the Princess revealed her familiarity with Catherine Tate’s stroppy schoolgirl character Lauren when she commented that Mia’s attitude to equestrianism was, ‘Am I bovvered?’

‘She’s superb with the kids,’ said a friend. ‘She’ll often be in the stables with the grandchildren. She’s got a tremendous sense of humour and is very likeable and kind. She loves Mike [Tindall, Zara’s husband]. He makes them all laugh.

The friend also pointed to Anne’s ‘surprisingly fruity’ sense of humour, adding: ‘And the Princess can swear all right. I’ve heard her use some quite colourful language.’

If the Queen instilled in Anne a love of horses then it was her father who encouraged her other great passion in life: sailing. Anne would regularly accompany the former Royal Navy commander to Cowes Week, and it is a testament to Philip’s infectious love of seafaring that Anne and Tim have kept their yacht Ballochbuie on Loch Craignish in Argyll, since 2012. The couple enjoy nothing more than cruising around the Inner Hebrides, where Anne indulges her passion of visiting lighthouses. She is patron of the Northern Lighthouse Board and is understood to have ‘bagged’ more than half of the UK’s 206.

But it hasn’t always been so easy combining work and pleasure. Anne was put to the diplomatic test when she became the first member of the Royal family to visit the USSR, at the invitation of the then-leader Gorbachev in 1990. In typical style, the Princess didn’t shirk the responsibility – and stayed for two whole weeks. Visits to war zones including Sierra Leone, Mozambique and Bosnia have been similarly taxing – with Anne once insisting after a particularly gruelling tour of Africa: ‘I don’t come here looking for trouble. I come to see if I can help.’

Her association with Save the Children, which dates back to 1970, has seen her slum it on camp beds and visit disease-ravaged Mozambique refugee camps. Once urged by photographers to hug an emaciated child, she refused, saying, ‘I don’t do stunts.’ And in response to a comment on her supposed lack of the maternal instinct, she said: ‘You don’t have to like children particularly to want to give them a decent chance in life.’

Yet her reputation as one of the most diligent royals ever has also been honed by her dedication to little-known domestic causes, like the Wetwheels Foundation, which provides ‘barrier-free boating’ for the disabled. One of more than 300 charities the Princess is involved with, its founder Geoff Holt, a paraplegic who was the first disabled person to sail solo around Britain in 2007, and then across the Atlantic in 2010, has known Anne for over 30 years. ‘I’ve got photos of us going back decades. I’ve got older and older and she’s stayed the same,’ he joked.

‘She’s got to be one of the most hard-working people I know. I’ve never known anything like it – the amount of engagements she packs in. She doesn’t do sycophancy, though.

Michele Jennings, chief executive of Hearing Dogs for the Deaf, of which the Princess has been patron since 1992, also tells staff ‘not to fawn’ when the Princess visits. ‘She hates that,’ she said. ‘We’re a pretty down-to-earth charity and when she comes she’ll have dogs jumping at her shins and crawling all over her, but she doesn’t mind one bit. There’s no awkwardness.’

Another source revealed how during one royal visit, Anne had joked about missing out on all the posh canapés – royals are discouraged from eating in public. ‘I’ll just have to put up with Great Western’s finest,’ she quipped, referring to her train journey home.

Although a ‘daddy’s girl’ growing up, since the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret died in 2002, Anne has become ever more devoted to her mother. Having helped to counsel the Queen through many royal crises over the years, the Princess has been HM’s first port of call when discussing recent tumultuous royal events. Although one can only guess what stalwart Anne makes of Harry and Meghan’s behaviour, she has made no secret of her opposition to royals trying to modernise the institution, seemingly referring to the Sussexes when she remarked recently: ‘I don’t think this younger generation probably understands what I was doing in the past and it’s often true, isn’t it? You don’t necessarily look at the previous generation and say, “Oh, you did that?” Or, “You went there?” Nowadays, they’re much more looking for, “Oh, let’s do it a new way.” I’m already at the stage [of ], please do not reinvent that particular wheel. We’ve been there, done that. Some of these things don’t work. You may need to go back to basics.’

When she turned 60, the Queen elevated Anne to the Order of the Thistle and there was a joint birthday party with Andrew, who was 50 that year. But Covid-19 – not to mention Andrew’s fall from grace – mean this year’s celebrations will be more muted. Indeed, she is not thought to have had much contact with her brother, with whom she shares a love of country pursuits, but little else.

With the Queen having been self-isolating at Windsor Castle since March, it is thought Anne will be reunited with her parents at Balmoral this summer, where she and Tim will once again take in Scotland’s sights by sea.

At a time when the monarchy finds itself somewhat cast adrift, it is the indefatigable Princess Royal who is proving to be its trustiest anchor. As she prepares to turn 70, showing no sign of slowing down after half a century of engagements, lighthouse-lover Anne has become the Royal family’s beacon of good, old-fashioned public service.

[fourdaysofrain]

A Symphony of Color

Summary: Peter wakes up with synesthesia after a fight.

(Before Infinity War, but they know Dr. Strange. What are canon timelines, anyway?)

Read on AO3

He hears a voice (cinnamon brown) cut through his ebbing and flowing state of sleep. 

He frowns. (Or, at least, he thinks he does. To be honest, he isn’t sure if he’s attached to his body currently.) Brown? Weird. He’s not used to hearing that. 

There’s something rubbing circles on the soft flesh between his thumb and forefinger. It comes with another voice (old rose) murmuring somewhere above his head. The sound comes towards him as petals in a spring breeze. He thinks he reaches to grab them. 

(Peter’s hand twitches against May’s as he lays against the stiff sheets of the hospital bed. Tony sees it from the corner of his eye as May quickly straightens against the uncomfortable hospital chair.) 

“Kid, are you waking up?” someone says (cinnamon brown again), and the question zings slowly around his head like an electrical current in slow motion. The words get lost somewhere on the journey from his ears to his brain. 

Something in him knows that he should pay attention to the colorful voices. They float lazily around him, fat bees leaving a dotted-line trail in their wake. The colors are an impression. When he tries to look at them directly they vanish, but if he unfocuses his eyes (an easy feat currently) they dance easily on the back of his eyelids.

The pillowcase slides against his cheek as he turns his head to the side. He might be drooling. He hears a groan. He thinks it might have been his own. He’s tired of moving his eyes to see colors. Being awake, in whatever capacity he is right now, is exhausting. There’s a pair of scissors in front of him, and they make their way to the black threads twisted together in a rope that is coming from his chest. The scissors cut through them with one great snip, and he falls blissfully backward into the inky black silence. 

---

Peter deftly dodges the beam of orange light that came from the sorcerer on the other side of the rooftop as it briefly cut through the night. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish here, but I’m gonna guess it’s something bad,” he says, trying to elicit a response from the sorcerer. Nothing comes in return besides a sneer and another beam of light to avoid.

“Alright, more of a strong and silent type. I get that. We can’t all be endearingly snarky.” He avoids the next shot with a flip, landing too close to the edge of the roof. He teeters dangerously, and that’s the only window the sorcerer needs. 

A beam of light straight to the chest.

Falling.

Falling.

Fal--

---

A woman’s voice (violet) says something as Peter slowly drags himself to consciousness. Again. 

(“I lowered his dosage an hour or so ago. He should be coming to any minute now, but don’t worry if he still isn’t lucid,” Helen Cho tells the small group of people waiting in Peter’s hospital room.)

He tries to move first. It takes a herculean effort to stretch his fingers against whatever he’s laying on. 

Next, he stretches his senses out towards the room like laying out a picnic blanket on a grassy field. 

The first sound to reach his ears is the harsh beeping of a heart monitor to his left. Then he tries to tune into the voices he hears (violet and cinnamon brown and silver and old rose) coming from around the room. Still not quite able to decipher exact words, he just sees an undefined colorful cloud floating on the back of his eyelids. 

He peels open his eyes, each small action a little easier than the one before it. His vision slowly focuses on Tony, who’s standing at the foot of his bed next to a woman in a lab coat. His eyes light up like a lamp behind frosted glass when Peter makes foggy eye contact with him. Peter slides his eyes to the right to see May and Pepper looking at him expectantly. 

He tries to croak out a greeting, but all that comes is a series of colorless garbled consonants hitting against the roof of his mouth.

“May and I will get you some ice chips, Peter,” Pepper says (silver), helping May out of her chair. They both glance knowingly at Tony and the doctor before leaving the room. Peter’s forehead crinkles in confusion. He swears he just saw something in front of him, a flash of a silver chain, when Pepper spoke. 

“Pete, you’ve met Dr. Cho, our resident Spider-Doctor. Among other things, I’m sure,” Tony says (cinnamon brown) as he motions to the woman on his left. She rolls her eyes. He forces his eyes to focus on her, looking through the strange screen of color. His slowed brain finally puts the puzzle pieces together before his eyes light up in recognition. He’s only seen her when he’s injured, but he knows who she is. He tries to move his eyebrows in what he hopes is the equivalent of a wave. She gives him an amused smile in return. 

“Mr. Parker, you feel off a building last night,” Dr. Cho explains, and purple blooms in front of Peter’s eyes like grapes falling off a vine. He tries to track it with his eyes as he listens to her. “Thankfully it was only a few stories, but you landed on your right leg, breaking it in two places. We had to put you under while we worked on setting and casting it. You’ll have to use crutches for a week or so, even with your enhanced healing factor.” 

He nodded slowly, eyes still bouncing around the room as he wonders where the color came from. 

“Eyes here, kiddo,” Tony motions to his face as a soft red-tinged brown appears in Peter’s vision like ground cinnamon sprinkled on top of hot chocolate in the winter. He ignores it to the best of his ability as he makes eye contact with Tony but eventually gives in to trying to look directly at the colors. 

“What are you looking at, Peter?” Purple grapes dance in his vision, joining the cinnamon sprinkles as they wax and wane with the voices around him. It takes him a moment to understand the question posed, and another moment to decide what to say. 

“Fireworks,” he croaks (denim blue) through a hoarse throat. He wishes that May and Pepper could come back with the ice chips soon. Blue joins the show of colors as the cinnamon and purple begin to fade. His eyes close without him thinking about it, still not quite there enough to keep up with other people. He watches the purple and brown reappear and swirl behind his eyelids as he slowly dips back into sleep. 

(“He’s still high as a kite,” Tony sighs in disbelief. Helen Cho places a hand on his arm in comfort. 

“He’ll be okay, Tony.”

“He better be,” he responds, rubbing a hand across his face, “I’m going to go get Pep and May.”)

---

The next time Peter opens his eyes, he is lucid. His head still feels like there might be bits of cotton stuck between a few neurons, but he’s finally able to comprehend the scene around him. There’s light from the late afternoon sun filtering through the window blinds, giving the cast on his leg a set of stripes. He looks over to see Tony dozing in one of the hospital chairs to his right. It’s far from the first time he’s woken up in situations like this. He’s glad that the only injury he has this time is whatever’s up with his leg. 

Peter debates the pros and cons of waking Tony up, but just as he’s about to say something, his eyes blink open. They look at each other for a beat before Tony breaks the silence. 

“How’re you feeling, bud?” His sleep-rugged cinnamon voice falls lightly across Peter’s vision, causing him to frown in confusion. 

“Fine, I--” Peter cuts himself off as a blue that matches his comfiest pair of jeans rises in front of him like oil in a lava lamp. His eyes track it subconsciously; It’s hard to look at directly. 

“Kid, what are you looking at? Is there something Cho missed?” The red-brown in his vision gets more saturated as Tony’s volume increases.

“No, it’s--” the blue returns “--ah. Give me a second.” He scrunches his eyes shut against the colors, only to see them remain as if painted on the back of his eyelids. After a few beats of silence, they fade into nothing.

He opens his eyes again to see that Tony moved his chair closer to where he’s lying. His face is masked with worry. 

“I’m fine,” he knows to stop Tony’s anxiety before it starts. The blue appears again, but he ignores it this time. “There’s just... “

“Just what?” Cinnamon lines of lightning shoot across his eyes.

“Colors? Brown and blue right now. They go away when no one’s talking.” He tries to keep his sentences short, unsure of what the colors mean.

“Cho said it was just the leg,” Tony mutters, and it’s unclear whether it’s to himself or to Peter. “Do you remember what happened?” The brown lightning bolts zip faster around him as if compensating for Tony’s growing anxiety.

“I… I think I was fighting some sorcerer guy, and he hit me with a beam of light like Dr. Strange’s, and then I fell off the roof?”

“Great. I love it when wizards meddle in our business. I’ll have to go through the baby monitor.” He rests his head in his hands as his elbow rests on the metal bar of the bed. The sentence gives way to a companionable silence for a moment. 

“I got an alert,” Tony cuts in sharply, the edges of the cinnamon splashes focusing to become almost like blades, “at 12:30 am. A little robot birdie said my #1 intern fell off a building. I flew over to find him crumpled in the alley like an old oil rag.” He pointedly looks towards the window, avoiding Peter’s gaze. 

“I’m really sorry, Mr. Stark,” Peter starts, the blue lava lamp reappearing and upping in speed to match time with his heartbeat. Tony stops him before he can continue, the sharp edge to his voice softening. 

“You don’t need to apologize for getting hurt, Pete. I- We’ve learned that we can’t stop you from doing the right thing. We were just worried. You should get some more rest, you’ve still got a bit of drugs to burn through. Enjoy it while it lasts, because May and I will lecture your ear off when she gets back from work. Until then, I’ve got a magician to call.” Tony starts to move as if preparing to leave, and Peter jolts up a bit.

“You can call him in here,” he blurts out without thinking. He quickly starts to backtrack, “I mean, if you want to. You can leave if it’s private. But I don’t mind the noise.” He smiles sheepishly up at Tony, who returns a small, knowing smile. 

“I’ll be quiet,” he says, punctuating it with a soft pat on Peter’s shoulder. He leans back in the chair, already fiddling with his phone. 

Peter closes his eyes and relaxes into the hospital bed as much as he can. 

Most people count sheep when they try to fall asleep. Peter, on the other hand, imagines himself swinging down an endless city street. He breathes in as he swings upwards, and exhales as the ground rushes toward him. He makes it a few blocks before he can’t keep track anymore, a cloud of subtle cinnamon dust settling over his eyes as Tony murmurs into his phone a few feet away. 

The lecture from May and Tony never comes.

---

“He’s waking up,” Peter hears a deep scarlet voice announce, entering his vision like the main curtain of a play. 

He groans. He’s starting to hate waking up in a hospital bed. With lucidity comes a dull throb from his leg. He opens his eyes to see a small group of people in the room. Dr. Strange is at the foot of his bed, while May and Tony are to the side. He gives them all a shy smile.

“Morning everyone,” he says with a small, awkward wave. His words cause little blue bubbles to pop up around him as the red fades away. He gets a smirk from May which tells him it is decidedly not morning. 

“How are you feeling, honey?” May’s question brings with it soft, dusty rose-colored spots in his vision, floating softly like clouds. 

“My leg aches a bit,” he ignores a colored remark from Tony, “and I keep seeing colors when people talk to me.” He expects some sort of reaction from that, but May just nods and glances towards Dr. Strange. 

“That’s what I’m here to talk about,” he starts, more red blooming on the sides of Peter’s vision, “we believe that the sorcerer you fought somehow gave you a mild form of synesthesia. Chromesthesia, to be specific-- the instant association of sounds with various visual stimuli. Yours is limited to the association of voices with colors.” He ends his explanation with a flourish of his hands that causes the ring of a bell, and Peter nods. He doesn’t see anything new. 

“That’s kind of--” Peter gets interrupted by Tony before he can finish.

“If you say ‘cool,’ I’m kicking you out of the medbay and you’re healing on your own.” Tony’s cinnamon-colored threat makes Peter stumble on his words.

“Kind of interesting, I was going to say. Did he do anything harmful?”

“Besides causing you to fall three stories?” May says sourly, her tone contrasted by her voice washing pink over the room. Peter scratches his eyebrow and grimaces a bit. 

“Yeah, besides... that.”

Dr. Strange clears his throat and continues with his scarlet monologue, “As far as we can tell, there are no other side effects. There’s no way of knowing if this is permanent or how it will act in the future, but rest assured, I’ll be looking for the spell he used to figure out the reversal. Have a nice day.” He does his hand thing and walks into a portal, causing May to startle and Tony to roll his eyes. 

Peter starts to laugh.

“I just realized, the color of his voice matches his cape.”

Tony and May don’t laugh with him.

“Peter, what did we say about putting yourself in danger?”

“...Did we say we liked it?”

He spoke too soon about avoiding their lecture. 

---

The first thing Peter does once he can effectively maneuver the compound with his crutches is find a notebook that can fit in his pocket. He grabs a pen from one of the many junk drawers and starts a list of everyone he’s talked to so far.

Mr. Stark - Brown, the filling in cinnamon buns, the teddy bear in the baby photo hanging on the fridge.

Aunt May - Dusty pink, Grandma Parker’s old couch.

Pepper - Silver, fancy necklace chains, handcuffs.

Dr. Cho - Violet, purple grapes.

Dr. Strange - Scarlet, his cape, May’s date night lipstick.

He taps the end of the pen against his chin. He needs to talk to more people. 

---

Peter starts to get a new appreciation for classical music. He has his Spotify sorted into playlists by activity, but since he started seeing voices as colors, it was easier for him to just stick to his Study or Die playlist no matter the occasion, which doesn’t have a single word to share among the 50+ songs included. And when it’s quiet around him, whether he’s in his room or on the rooftop at night, and he closes his eyes, he swears he can see the colors of the individual notes waltz under his eyelids. 

He keeps eyeing the fancy piano in the common area, wondering if anyone would be mad if he tried to play it. He’s just so bored with his broken leg. He can’t even get his suit on to try to go patrolling, and he’s on compound-arrest before he gets his cast off so no one from his school can ask why he only had it for a week.

Well, Peter thinks, glancing around the room, ask for forgiveness, not permission.

He slowly stalks over to the piano and sits at the bench. There’s always sheet music laying in the stand, and he still has a rudimentary sight-reading ability from his years in the school band. He opens the cover, surprised to find a distinct lack of dust on the keys. But then again, there’s never dust in the compound. He figures that Pepper probably plays it, or something like that. 

He straightens the sheet music and then starts to play. It’s slow work, but he can close his eyes and see the beginnings of a watercolor painting. He’s just starting to put more energy into it when he hears someone come into the room. He quickly pokes his head out above the sheet music to see Tony leaning against the entryway.

“If you wanted to learn how to play the piano, you should have asked me.” His cinnamon-colored voice is already a comfort to see. Peter gives him an easy smile.

“Do you play?” His blue question floats over to Tony lazily as he walks over to the piano.

“My mom did. She taught me a few things and I taught myself a few more. Shove over.” Peter obediently scoots so Tony can sit beside him on the bench. “Any requests?”

Peter shakes his head. Tony just hums in response as he shuffles through the sheet music and pulls out a slightly-yellowed page. 

“This one’s a duet. Follow this--” he taps on one of the two parts “--it’s the easier one.”

Tony counts them in, and they start to play. Peter can’t quite keep up, but Tony slows to match his pace. 

Eventually, Peter takes his hands from the keys, choosing to simply close his eyes and listen to Tony’s music. Tony continued playing the melody alone as Peter leaned his head on his shoulder. 

The notes danced in a fireworks show just for him, full of vibrant color. 

---

Tony tells FRIDAY to let Happy know they’re on their way down and when FRIDAY responds, Peter just laughs and laughs.

FRIDAY - Turquoise, sea glass.

Happy - Slate gray, medieval castles, cement blocks.

---

Peter finally gets the all-clear to go patrolling again. He wonders how human something has to be before he sees a color for its voice. 

Karen - Green, emerald, the ocean.

---

It’s a quiet evening in the Parker apartment. Peter and May already had dinner, and are now winding down by working on homework and reading a book, respectively.  

Peter can’t pay attention to his homework. He’s had something on his mind ever since he thought about it on patrol earlier that day. He chews his lip in frustration before deciding to just say something. 

“Hey May?” Peter’s words bubble out of him, mirroring the blue that shows up in his vision. 

“Yeah, sweetie?” She looks up from her book, shrouded in soft pink. 

“Do you have… any recordings of Ben?” Peter hates how weak his voice sounds. May doesn’t respond immediately. She smiles at him softly, her eyes already misty. 

“Let me get something from the closet.” 

May leaves to go to her bedroom and returns a few minutes later, holding an old shoebox. She sits next to Peter on the couch and opens it. It’s filled with pictures and CDs. It’s like the sun, Peter can’t look at it directly for too long before his eyes start to water. 

May cards her hand through his hair and they go through the memories together. 

As the night goes on it gets harder to tell if the blue he sees is from Ben’s recorded voice coming from the TV or his own choked sobs. 

---

May gives him a long hug before he goes to bed that night.

Ben - Navy blue, overripe blueberries, the sky after the sun sets but before it’s night.

Dad - Barn red, the suitcase gathering dust in the closet, a worn-out Iron Man shirt.

Mom - Pale yellow, banana smoothies, the paint in the hallway bathroom.

--- 

Ned and Peter rope MJ into watching a Star Wars movie with them after school. 

Ned - Orange, tangerine, really old traffic cones.

MJ - Lilac, May’s dress in her prom photo.

Harrison Ford - Rusted orange, tabby cats.

(Ned is delighted to have a similar color.)

---

Tony, Pepper, and Peter are eating dinner at the compound together on a brisk Wednesday evening. Peter got picked up by Happy right after school for a surprise mid-week trip while May had to work late to cover for a coworker. She had thanked Tony and Pepper profusely, just barely believing them when they told her it was their pleasure. 

Peter has his eyes closed and his head tilted back against the chair as Tony and Pepper talk about Stark Industries, soaking in the colors of their conversation. Pepper’s silver and Tony’s cinnamon brown mesh nicely together. When they start to banter off each other, the brown almost looks like polished bronze. 

The first couple of times Peter did this, people thought he was asleep. With time, they realized that it’s just a new quirk. Whenever he can’t think of anything to contribute to a conversation, or he feels overwhelmed, he likes to close his eyes as people talk around him so he can watch the colors. Peter wishes he had a video of the time he listened to Tony and FRIDAY’s conversation while hanging from a web in the lab. The noise that came out of Tony when he noticed him there was unreal. 

Peter’s neck prickles as their relaxing meal is interrupted by the sound of sparks and an open portal across the table from him. Dr. Strange steps through it, his wine-red voice demanding attention.

“I found a cure for Peter.”

Peter snaps to attention, taking in the sight of Tony and Pepper frozen in their discussion, a fork still hanging limply from Pepper’s hand. To their credit, they recover in record time. Dr. Strange barely gives them a moment to gather themselves before continuing in his monologue. Peter wonders if he has to practice what he’s going to say in front of a mirror before he portals somewhere; he goes through his speeches like a trained actor. 

“The attacker was just a novice. He intended for the original spell to act as an amplifier, eventually causing you to go blind and deaf. He didn’t take into account your enhanced nature, so it ended up being harmless.” Everyone lets out a breath they didn’t realize they were holding. 

No one brought it up, but Peter could tell everyone was walking on eggshells around him the past couple of weeks. They were all just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to drop to the ground convulsing because of some time-delayed aspect of the spell. He’s glad he can finally relax.

“Harmless besides the three-story fall,” Pepper adds, her silver chaining up the red in Peter’s vision. Dr. Strange looks sufficiently cowed, while Peter is just glad May isn’t there to chew him out. 

“Sorry, metaphysically harmless,” he pauses, giving a small apologetic smile to the table. “Either way, the cure is quick and painless. I can do it right now if you’re ready.” Pepper and Tony turn to look at Peter expectantly. 

“Wow, okay,” Peter bites the inside of his cheek as he figures out what to say, “I’m glad you figured it out, but I actually kind of… like it. Do I have to get the cure?” He looks around the table to gauge reactions, but everyone has their face carefully blank. 

“You’re sure there’s no chance of Peter being hurt by this?” Pepper’s silver voice strikes through his view. 

“To the extent of my knowledge, which I assure you extends quite far, he has a clean bill of health,” Dr. Strange confirms. There are a few beats of silence as his scarlet remark hangs in the air. 

“In that case, I think we were in the middle of dinner, Criss Angel,” Tony says dismissively, and Peter has to stifle a snort as the reddish-brown dust from Tony’s voice returns. 

“Very well,” Dr. Strange’s face is unreadable, “Let me know if there are any new developments.” There’s another fizzling sound, and he’s gone as quickly as he arrived. 

There are a few moments of silence after his departure, which is eventually broken by Tony complimenting Pepper’s cooking. Something about the entire situation breaks something in Peter, and he starts to laugh. 

“You alright there, kid?” Tony’s cinnamon voice is tinged with barely hidden concern. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. You guys are just--” he laughs again, not sure why his eyes are starting to water “--You guys are great.”

Tony stammers, probably trying to think of a joke to deflect with. Pepper just smiles softly and pats Peter’s hand. 

“We love you too, Peter.”

---

Tony and Peter work in the lab until late at night, listening to Tony’s dad-rock blaring through the speakers. 

Brian Johnson - Bright red, fire, roses.

Ozzy Osbourne - Neon purple, tie-dye before it’s washed, Barney the Dinosaur.

---

Peter gets detention… again. At least he gets time to pass notes with MJ. 

Captain America - Forest green, pears.

---

Peter supposes it was only a matter of time before people started to ask him more about what he sees when someone talks. It’s hard to explain, but he is able to share a basic understanding of it to Tony and May as they sit around their slightly cramped dining room table in Queens. The weekly dinners at May and Peter’s apartment every Friday were May’s idea. It was part of her post-figuring out Spider-Man’s identity plan to be on the same page as Tony. At some point, the tone of them changed from strictly business to almost familial.   

“Does it get in the way during patrol? I don’t want you to get hurt because someone’s voice blocked your sight while you were fighting them.” May’s faint pink floating into Peter’s line of sight is a comfort.

“I can ignore it pretty easily. It’s not actually there, so I can look through it when I need to. It’s nice to just watch sometimes, though.” The blue that appears moves more erratically than normal to compensate for his rambling. Tony nods to himself, and Peter knows that if it was an issue, he’d invent a way to get around it. 

“So kid,” Tony says, his voice in the same soft register that it always changes to when he visits the apartment, “What color am I?” Peter watches it appear around him for a moment before responding.

“Brown. Like cinnamon, or… wait a second.” Peter excuses himself from the table and goes to grab a photo from the fridge in the kitchen. It's a picture of himself, around two years old, holding a teddy bear close to his chest as he sleeps. He walks back over to the table and offers it to Tony.

“The same color as this,” he says, pointing to the bear captured in baby Peter’s tiny arms. Tony laughs loudly. 

“May, I’m going to need a copy of this for the lab. Something to humble the kid when he starts to get too many ideas.” Peter makes an indignant noise and looks to May, who just smiles and winks before taking the picture and returning it to the fridge. They eat in companionable silence for a while, the only sounds are the soft clink of silverware. 

“Brown... Why couldn’t I be something more exciting?” Tony says, successfully getting a laugh from the two Parkers. 

“Actually, remember last week when you helped me with the gang? When you talked through the suit, you were bright red.” Tony puffs up with pride as Peter and May continue to smile at him. 

“That’s not going to help his ego, Peter.” May ruffles his hair as she starts to gather the empty dishes. 

“May, let me help with those,” Tony offers, also getting up from his chair.

“No, you’re a guest here. Hire dishwashers in your own house,” May responds with a smirk, “You and Peter can go to the living room while I clean up so I don’t get distracted by your science-talk.” She gives Peter a pat on the arm as she passes by him getting out of his chair on her way to the kitchen sink. 

“No use arguing with her, kid. Let’s vamoose.” Tony puts a hesitant hand on Peter’s shoulder as he leads him to the living room. 

As soon as Peter sits on the couch, he feels the weight of this week’s stress press on him. He spreads out over the cushions, looking up at the ceiling. Tony quirks a brow at him. 

“Long week?” Peter likes to imagine that he hears genuine concern underneath the sarcasm in his voice. 

“Yeah. I had like a million tests and assignments, MJ scheduled two meetings for Decathalon this week instead of one, and Ned and I were supposed to hang out on Wednesday but I canceled on him so now he must hate me--” He cuts himself off, not wanting to annoy Tony with his teenage drama. 

“If best friends start to hate you after one rain-check, Rhodey and I wouldn’t have lasted past the first week of classes. Also, you’re Ned’s only connection to the Avengers. I doubt he’d give that up easily.”

Peter snorts. He slides his eyes over to meet Tony’s and sees a comforting look on his face.

“Anything I can do to help?” Peter hums, idly watching the shades of Tony’s voice float around him before he gets an idea. 

“Actually, can you-- uh, nevermind.” Peter ignores the nervous ripple in the blue that shows up in the corner of his eye. He looks back to the ceiling. 

“C’mon Pete, I thought we were over the whole ‘not telling me when something is wrong’ thing. I’m just a guy, you don’t have to be embarrassed.”

Peter flicks his eyes back to where Tony’s sitting. He really does look… normal. He’s just wearing a worn band tee with jeans, his new norm for the weekly dinners after an unfortunate incident involving pasta sauce, an expensive suit, and a very apologetic May. His hair is less gelled, he’s not wearing any of his sunglasses, and underneath the shoes that May made him take off at the door, he just has some store-brand socks on. If Peter ignores the finely groomed goatee and faint glow of the nanoparticle housing unit, he could just be another tenant in the building. It’s strangely comforting to see him like this, with all of his hard edges and metallic finish smoothed and sanded out. Peter comes out of his reverie to see Tony looking at him expectantly. 

“Can you… read to me? If not, that’s totally okay! I just like watching your voice, especially when I’m feeling stressed out, because it’s comforting to me, and I’m definitely kind of stressing out right now, so I could--” Tony cuts him off with a look.

“Kid, all you had to do was ask. I do, despite what you may have heard, know how to read,” Tony successfully gets Peter to let out a small laugh, his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Any requests?”

Peter shakes his head, leaning back further into the couch.

“Work emails it is. Pepper would actually be proud of me right now--” he pulls out his phone, “--Alright. This one’s from Charles Healey. He says, ‘Good afternoon, Mr. Stark…”

Peter sighs and closes his eyes as Tony continues to read aloud. He watches Tony’s voice appear like cinnamon snow. As he relaxes, the walls he puts around his senses slowly come down. He can hear May’s pink voice singing to herself in the kitchen as the sink runs. He starts to hear the murmurs of people walking on the street below. The colors mix and swirl in front of him, each individual person adding their own unique shade. His vision becomes an impressionist painting, one that pulsates to the beat of his heart. It belongs in a museum, but it lives solely in his eyes. Something the world made specifically for him. 

His very own symphony of colors. 

Tag List: @ironfamjam

[steal-this-idea]

Babylon 5 rewatch continues...

Now with a LINK to the original post that I had let grow to unreasonable length instead of forcing the two people who will see this scroll through ever last piece of dumb shit I’ve had to say first!

JUMP TO ORIGINAL LONG POST HERE

(Learning Curve)

I’ve taken the talk on meditation to heart (the “anyone can meditate in silence” bit) to the point where I think I can become impatient or even annoyed by those who insist upon quiet to do so (think especially for certain sports like golf and tennis...like, if you’re to the point where you’re a professional, some asshole in the stands should be able to neither faze you nor distract you)

If garlic stinks then what’s saffron? (the meal where Garibaldi starts laying into Lochley’s past and Zack is obliquely commenting on it, asking if anyone thinks the food tastes funny, suggesting saffron when it starts getting awkward and concluding garlic after Lochley puts Garibaldi in his place)

Continuing my Takashima just disappeared rant: N’grath, our season 1 praying mantis gangster, gets a mention in this episode but Lt.Cmdr. Takashima? Who’s she?

I do love that the Minbari are an advanced race but not an impassionate one...which honestly makes them scarier, as the Earth-Minbari War shown to us throughout “In the Beginning” demonstrated...

Meaning does not exist independently... I wonder if this episode is where I got that idea from?

(Strange Relations)

I don’t hate the ex-wife of Sheridan revelation of Capt. Lochley. If anything, it kinda complements how Cmdr. Sinclair got appointed to run Babylon 5. I assume, like with the Minbari when the station first came online, Sheridan insisted on veto power over anyone EarthGov might select to run Babylon 5. I wonder if Capt. Lochley was far down the list too?

Zip ties: Still good enough for the 23½ century :-)

The bottle tossing Hyach is at it again...

(Secrets of the Soul)

I do like Season 5 being like a mirror of Season 1 and giving us more standalone type episodes which allows us to be given closer looks at members of the (former) League of Non-Aligned Worlds. This episode, the Hyach; the next episode, the Brakir; and the one after that, the Drazi.

And I have to say this again. Even when he’s cheesy, I don’t hate Byron.

I think Lyta made me love bangs :-)

I liked the detail of the Drazi record not being in English

Also, why didn’t we learn Byron’s secrets too? While, yes, dramatic effect for the later episode, sure...why not? I suppose also Lyta’s walls coming down during her intimacy may have simply flooded everything else out too. Hard to say. I also wonder why Lyta’s eyes went black during their lovemaking when, since this is a Vorlon-influenced memory, they should’ve glowed white? Again, I’m sure it had something to do with dramatic effect...

(Day of the Dead)

I love that Capt. Lochley hates Rebo & Zooty. It’s like, ugh...these hacks :-)

And I also love Delenn’s reaction to one of their jokes. I wonder what Mira Furlan was thinking about to get herself to laugh so heartily and convincingly?

Nice that the guest spots got end credits billing and not upfront so as not to spoil the surprise (unlike what happened with Anna Sheridan). I wonder if that cost TNT a fine with the Screen Actors Guild? I know Lucas always had to pay a fine to get out of putting traditional title screen credits over the start of each Star Wars film.

I presume there is plenty of A.U. fiction out there about who the other characters would have met had they been on the other side of the line?

Do you think Kosh would have appeared in its encounter suit to Sheridan had he been there or would it have been more open like in the death dream sequence (or even in its true squid-like form)?

(In the Kingdom of the Blind)

The Centauri are ultra racist. That dude’s not even attempting discretion: he’s gonna talk shit about Narns right in front of a Narn with not even a hint of concern that G’Kar might understand what he’s saying or be capable of feeling hurt by it.

As much as I hate what Byron did after learning how telepaths came to be and what they were intended for, I also can’t imagine an equivalent shock that could so forcefully shake the very foundations of my world and thus how I would react to such knowledge...

Would the Drakh have worked better if they didn’t have visible sclera? I just can’t help but feel if their eyes were entirely black or red instead of looking human, if it would have increased their visual menace or just made them look goofy?

But that lighting on the Drakh’s reveal though...magnificent

Isn’t that a Brakiri warship? How could it have been unarmed? I’m not in any way justifying the attack on them but, like, of *all* the ships you could’ve used to illustrate an attack on a commercial transport...

(A Tragedy of Telepaths)

I’ll admit I’ve tried using the “There’s No Bomb” technique in my desperate attempts to quell my allergies. Trying to tell my itchy, runny nose that, despite its objections, there’s no need to sneeze. There’s. No need. To sneeze...

Can’t say it ever worked though...

Byron just dropping that some worlds developed telepaths naturally which seems strange because I thought I recalled JMS mentioning that if a species were to develop telepathy they’d never advance to civilization. Being a telepath would just be another technique a predator could use to snare prey and/or a technique a prey animal could use to avoid being eaten.

Still, if I’m going to grant him this, I wonder if the Soul Hunters were an example of natural telepaths? The behavior of the two we meet in the show’s second episode is reminiscent of telepath behavior we witness in later episodes (like Byron sensing that man’s impending death and the Soul Hunter being able to pick up on Delenn’s secrets as the machine she was hooked up to slowly killed her). Were Soul Hunters like vultures originally? Always feeling for the impending death of an animal so they could eat that night? But that particular ability wouldn’t necessarily have prevented the kind of generalization necessary for the development of language, tools, and technology so the ability served them rather than limited them and as they developed and went to the stars, the idea of preserving special souls became of paramount importance to their raison d’être. Comments? Concerns? Good idea? Poorly thought out idea?

G’KAR: Would you like some jala? It’s cold.

LONDO: Get that away from me. Jala needs to be hot. It takes heat to cultivate its flavor. To consume cold jala is to insult a Centauri. I don’t even know where you got it.

G’KAR: I saw it on a tray heading into the south end of the palace. I assumed no one would mind if I took it.

LONDO: That’s right. Only Narns can stomach it cold.

It would be interesting to have a culture which marks the peaces rather than the wars. I don’t even know if that would be so far-fetched to imagine such a people given the Incas made “constellations” out of the dark parts of the sky as well as its luminous parts.

Byron’s demand for compensation is SOOO much more reasonable than his threat of blackmail. It’s a shame he didn’t think of it first...

Is the Interstellar Alliance basically the Minbari Empire? Minbar’s going to be the home office of the ISA. After the White Star fleet (which really cannot be rebuilt), the Minbari military is the strongest in the known galaxy and I have to assume it is their fleet the ISA would lean on in the event of a major war between powers. I don’t know. I just think of it like if we were to form an EarthGov right now and it actually had real power, its power would almost certainly be heavily reliant on U.S. military might, making an EarthGov like a de facto U.S. empire, no? It’s outside the scope of Babylon 5, but I wonder if such a thing will come up in the ISA’s future?

Babylon 5 did for me with telepaths what Buffy the Vampire Slayer did for vampires. I can no longer accept any alternative :-)

(Phoenix Rising)

I wonder how this telepath colony plot would have unfolded differently had Byron had the foresight to have some non-human telepaths among them so they wouldn’t be wholly under Earth’s jurisdiction?

Do you think Bester spoke to his underlings at the briefing because he *had* to or was it solely for our, the viewer’s, benefit? I just think back to when Bester first met with Sinclair...

Regarding Bester’s “How stupid do you think I am?” speech: I’m so glad JMS didn’t pad the scene by going to commercial as the music climaxed with Garibaldi holding a PPG to him. That immediate release of dramatic tension because there never was any there to begin with; that subversion of expectations, was an effective choice.

I don’t drink but after that scene, I’d probably start drinking too...

Peter’s telekinesis seems underwhelming. I suppose I could blame it on the show’s ability to do that special effect (the ring Eilerson fires in that episode of Crusade was an effect done well). But how hard was he casting those objects? I feel like I could throw harder and more accurately; like his telekinesis was really an inefficient way to go about things, y’know?

I know from reading around that had Claudia Christian remained on the show, she would’ve been the one to fall for Byron and I have to admit it’s still hard imagining Ivanova in that role. I think I’m glad she didn’t not because it would be unbelievable but just that it would be yet another tragic love and broken trust story for her and it’s like, damn, give this woman a break already...hasn’t she suffered enough?

Did Byron program his followers with that hymn? The way they gather around him before he immolates them is practically instinctual. I suppose it’s not so far-fetched. Byron *is* a strong P12 and more than once he desperately tried to get back to his people in order to calm them down suggesting his hold over them may not have been charisma alone. I don’t know...

(The Ragged Edge)

The Drazi with the vomit bag on the shuttle, haha. I love those touches they put into the show :-)

Is it my imagination or is G’Kar’s room less red?

[riddle-me-this-mr-nygma-blog]

The Stark Internship (Part 3)

“Y/N?” I looked up to the boy in the mask. “You have a really pretty smile, you know?” I felt a blush creep across my cheeks, looking down to the pad. “Why’re you blushing?”

“So, I’m thinking, keep the spider on the chest, but we’ll go smaller, and I think I’ll put some controls in it” I thought out loud, copying the spider from Peter’s suit onto the drawing, but much smaller. “People will soon learn your name, you won’t need a massive spider to let them know”

Peter and I began work on the suit, extending the red from his chest down the arms. We decided to include a black stripe, which would spiral around his arm subtly, leading to the web shooters. We talked about trivial things, musical tastes, food preferences and favourite subjects growing up as I sketched through the design.

“Do you mind, if I asked about the song they played in music today. I assume it reminds you of your parents” He asked quietly, taking a shaky breath. I nodded then looked down.

“It’s just hard. 7 years on and still that song… god. When you hear something, and it reminds you of someone you lost… there’s nothing you can do to stop the pain that it brings, and” I took a shaky breath as Peter reached out, placing his hand on my leg. I looked down and smiled gently. “Tony knows how it feels, to some extent. He was much older than me, and he lost both. But to lose a parent, it’s something no kid can get over” I sighed.

“My parents died when I was six” Peter dropped, “car accident” he elaborated, making another sob escape my throat. “Ben was shot, by a robber that I let escape” he added. “I know what it’s like to lose the people you love, and even to blame yourself”

He held onto me tightly, just combing his fingers through my hair.

“I lie and say I never knew my mum, in reality, she and my father both died in a car accident” I looked up to Peter, I didn’t need to see his face to know he was sympathetic. “I was in it too…” I sighed, looking down.

“Your accident…” he muttered, I nodded to myself. “you don’t need to talk about it”

“I do, I need to tell someone that isn’t Tony or Happy” I ran my hand through my hair before letting out a sigh. “I don’t want to be here… Tony said I missed so much by not going to school, I don’t think I did, I don’t miss the days being free of staring, taunting…” I sighed and pushed the glasses further up my nose.

“School sucks, but we’ve got three years left and then we’re done. You’ve already got a job for life, and either way you’re too smart not to get one immediately. I’ll find something, just to get me by, because I just want to help people” he sighed gently. I nodded and turned to Peter, smiling. We’re so young, but he’s right. I’ve got my job, the job I’ll do for the rest of Tony’s time as Iron Man, and he’s Spider-Man, no matter what he does, Peter is a good person, and he’s a strong, grown guy.

“We were going to an interview, for a private school. From very young, my parents knew I was different, they knew I understood things far advanced than other children my age, I remembered everything ever said to me, everything I had seen. This school, it was founded for extraordinary children. I don’t know how they found me, my parents hid my gifts from those around. We were nearly there, and…” I took a breath, and Peter squeezed my thigh gently. I nodded and smiled to him before continuing.

“A truck ran a stop sign, it hit my mother’s side, she died on impact, dad had broken bones all on his right side, but he was alive. The truck overturned, it had corrosive materials, alongside other things… illegal things” Peter gasped and I nodded, he took my hand in his free one, holding tightly, which calmed my nerves.  “I got out, running to my dad. I was a kid, there was nothing I could do, but I wanted to save him, I was so scared. I opened the door and he was unconscious, I somehow got him out, and laid him on the road, I was crying, screaming. Trying anything to wake him up… finally he did, just as the explosion happened. The last thing I saw was his brains hitting my face, alongside the materials and fuel” I heard Peter’s shaky breath, but he didn’t say a word. I swallowed and wiped away a tear, squeezing tightly on his hand.

“His phone rang, and I was in so much pain… I couldn’t see, but I picked it up, answering… it was Tony. I screamed down the phone, and he knew. He could hear the pain, I couldn’t get anything out, just the screams that ripped through my throat. He got JARVIS to track down the phone, and he flew there. Tony arrived before an ambulance could. I remember him prying me from what was left of my dad’s torso. I clung to him, and I never let go, not even when they flushed and tested my vision” I bit into my lip and fiddled with the ring Tony had given me, his mother’s ring.

“That’s why Tony is so protective, why he pulled you out of school and why he trusts you with so much” I nodded and sat upright in my seat. Peter let go of my hand, his arm wrapping around my waist as he pulled me closer, his stool wheeling closer to me, as he hugged me tightly.

“He was there when the doctors said I would never see again, he fought the courts to have custody of me. They believed he was unfit to care for me because of his lifestyle… Tony proved that there would be no-one better. He adjusted everything in his life for me.” Peter nodded and I could tell he was smiling “He even launched his own investigation, I don’t know how much he spent, but there was a team of investigators… It turns out it was some mob, moving nuclear weaponry. The route was not often used anymore so they used it to move products”

“What did he do?” Peter asked quietly, I chuckled.

“Have a guess, this is Tony Stark” I looked at the suit and smiled to myself, we’d already come up with so much, pretty much completing the aesthetic parts.

“So, when you first went blind… how did you adjust?” peter asked another of his many questions. I chuckled and shrugged.

“How does anyone adjust, you have to. At first Tony got me a stick, which I hated. But it helped me with my spatial awareness, I learnt echolocation and how to read braille. Happy and Tony allowed for me to learn to better use my touch senses, also helping me to learn Happy’s face, and his expressions” I smiled and watched as Peter’s head tilted.

“I never knew Happy before, he’s always known me as Tony’s blind tag along” I smirked.

“How do you learn expressions?” Peter asked and I smiled. “Like, do you guess based on what you remember?”

“Close your eyes” I whispered, “have you closed them?” I asked and Peter nodded, I took his hands in mine, removing the gloves before gently placing them on my cheeks. “Forget what you remember about me, feel, tell me what you notice” I whispered. “Don’t think, just say what you feel” I relaxed my face and closed my eyes, feeling his hands graze across my skin.

“Your cheeks are warm, warmer than the rest of your face. The skin is smooth, and soft. You haven’t had acne issues” he noted and I nodded gently. His fingers slowly moved higher, sliding quickly over my glasses, taking them off and running the fingertips across the tip of my nose, tracing the shapes of my eyes. “You have a slight bump, probably from the glasses you wear” I smirked and he ran a thumb across my eyebrow.

“What do they tell you?” I asked and felt him shrug.

“Nothing, you have eyebrows” he laughed. I shook my head, pulling the glasses from my face, watching as the faint details faded to black once more.

“Take off the mask, I can’t see. I’ll show you” He nodded and his hands retracted, I heard the static material of his mask slide over his hair, and Peter lifted my hands to his cheeks. “warm, you’re blushing. This is very intimate for you, something you aren’t used to. Unsurprisingly” He smiled and my thumb grazed along his jawline. “Smooth, but not shaven, you haven’t started growing facial hair yet. The mask makes your face very warm, you’re not completely comfortable in it yet. It irritates your skin” He nodded.

My fingertips moved higher, to his forehead, I quickly felt over it and bit into my lip, my hands moving to the corner of his eyes. “Your skin is tense over your forehead, a sign of youth, but the corners of your eyes have small, almost unnoticeable wrinkles, you crinkle your eyes when you smile and laugh, which you do a lot” he nodded and I took a deep breath, grazing my thumb over his lips. “smooth, soft. You lick your lip a lot, but not your top lip. Probably when you’re in deep thought, an innate habit”

“You’re good at this” he laughed and I nodded, sitting back. I waited until Peter pulled the mask back on before putting my glasses back on.

“I did research into it, as I do with everything. It turns out, when you lose a sense, that sector of the brain doesn’t just turn off. It adjusts, it compensates, taking in more sensory information from other receptors. Auditory ques are registered in the visual part of my brain, that’s why the small change of wind when you smile is still registered. I know expressions based on the wind, the warmth, the sound sometimes” He let out a sigh and nodded.

“That’s incredible” I smirked then looked down to the page, tracing my finger over the lines. “that’s how you knew I was lying when we met?” I nodded and he chuckled. “So I can’t lie to you?” I shook my head.

“Not even about that girl you like” He sat back quickly, took in a breath and I smiled. “I won’t tell her, I’m blind, so what would I know” I chuckled and he slapped my arm gently. “So, tell me about her?”

“She’s smart, and kind, but I don’t know if I would want to go anywhere with it… I don’t think we would work, as much as I would love for it to” He contemplated.  

“Good, but Peter… if you want this” I motioned to the suit. “You need to really think about it… because dating this girl, it would put her in danger, a lot of danger. Its why Tony and Pepper ended, its why Tony and I have never officially revealed how we know one another. Only Happy actually knows”

“How do you, I assumed your dad worked for Tony” Peter muttered and I nodded.

“Everyone who heard the story did. Gregory Howard wasn’t a name many people would know, because he dropped his surname. My father was Tony’s twin, the older twin. Named after an Uncle and his Father. Dad dropped the Stark name after his parents died, he didn’t want anything to do with Stark industries, but he still loved his brother, even though they lived completely different lifestyles. My father had a small house, married his childhood sweetheart. He had a child and worked in accounting for Stark Industries. He calculated Tony’s funds” Peter gasped and I shrugged.

“But your name…” he pointed and I nodded.

“My mother’s maiden name, she never changed her name after marriage, and they agreed to not name me my father’s name, because of the onslaught that would come with it” Peter nodded and I smiled. “We had a simple life at first, until the accident. I didn’t even understand why Uncle Ant would come and go so randomly. I was just happy to see him, because he was fun. He brought fun toys” I smiled.

“Tony must have loved it” I nodded, “a smart niece to play with”

“Tony hates kids, but he loved me, from the day I was born… Tony would visit at least once a week, always bringing me toys, and books. He bought me my first calculator when I was one. He would read fusion theory to me at bedtime” Peter laughed and I nodded, remembering my old house. “Dad hated it, he didn’t want me to be involved in Stark Industries, not while they were distributing weapons. If he knew what Tony did now, I think dad would have accepted it” I could feel his smile and the warmth coming from Peter, even from his distance.

“Your father would be proud, no matter what you did” Peter whispered and I sighed.

“I hope so, I do everything I can to make him proud” Peter wrapped an arm around me and squeezed me against this chest gently. I smiled.

“I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I know things have been rough for you. I think I know what you’re feeling. You’ve been going through a lot of difficult things, with not having your father and all. Well, take it from an old man. Those things send us down a road. And I know that whatever road you’ll end up on, you’ve got great things waiting for you, son. So, come on home, Peter. You’re my hero, and I love you” Peter whispered, I looked to him and he pulled out his phone. “The voicemail Ben left me, it’s the last thing he said to me, and I’ll never delete it” he put the phone away and let out a sigh.

“What happened, I know you said he was shot?” Peter nodded, I bit into my lip and he sighed. The smell of salt flooded my nose and I frowned, he was crying. I reached up, quickly wiping away the tear. “It’s okay Pete, you don’t need to talk about it”

“We had an argument, over something so stupid. I was stupid, I went out to ‘save the world’ and forgot a promise I made to him. He confronted me about it, like he should have. But I got mad, I was annoyed because he didn’t know what I was doing. Now I see he was right, I should have been there for May… but I walked out, it was late, and dark. Ben came looking for me. I saw a man robbing some place, I can’t even remember where it was… I didn’t stop him. Ben tried, he wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t even fit. He was an old man doing the right thing, what I didn’t do. And he was shot for trying to stop something I could have” Peter let out a shaky breath and I smiled weakly to him, not even sure how to console him.

“I held him as he died, he knew I was there, he whispered my name, just before he died. I went after the guy, I haven’t found him yet, but I won’t stop looking. Ben told me once, something my father stood by, something he stood by. It’s what I will always aspire to stand by, and why I will always be Spider Man” I raised an eyebrow and Peter smiled. “He believed that if you could do good things for other people, you had a moral obligation to do those things” Peter let out a shaky breath and I took his hand in mine, squeezing lightly.

“He said that in the argument, didn’t he?” Peter nodded and I sighed.

“and I threw it back in his face, I asked where dad was, why he wasn’t telling me himself. It hurt Ben so much, and I’ll never be able to take that back” Peter whispered, I sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I can’t pretend to know how it must feel, but Ben loved you Peter, as did your mum and dad… they all loved you, they knew you would grow up to be an amazing man. More than anything, Ben knew you loved him” I muttered, softly. Hearing his shaky breathing, and the sobs that caught in his throat.

“May tells me to stop carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders” He smiled, I nodded and let out a sigh.

“you should, it’s a dangerous thing Peter” He raised an eyebrow and I frowned. “It’s nothing, just thoughts of a concerned girl” I mumbled then stood up. “Drink? I’ve got juice, water?” I asked casually and peter shook his head. I quickly got a glass of water before sitting down and smiling to the boy in front of me. “you can change out of it now, if you want. I’m getting a headache” I mumbled, Peter nodded and walked out. “What are you doing to me Tony?” I groaned, slouching back.

My phone rang, and I quickly picked up, holding it to my ear.

“Sorry to call so unexpectedly miss, but things are moving fast. I think Tony is planning something soon. In Germany, he knows our plans to move Bucky to an isolated location” Steve mumbled, clearly trying to be quiet on his end.

“Yeah, I’ve heard him bringing up Germany” I heard Peter hiding behind the door. “Listen, I can’t talk too much right now, I’ve got a friend round. I’ll speak to you later, if you’re free?”

“Sure, just call me on this phone. I’ll be with Bucky all night” he responded before quickly hanging up. I put the phone in my pocket.

“Peter, you know you can’t sneak up on me” I called out, he walked around the corner, chuckling nervously.

“Who was that?” he asked shyly. “You were talking about Germany?” I nodded quickly before smiling.

“My only friend from Malibu, talking about planning a holiday… we want away from Tony. So, we’re planning on staying away from where he might be” I chuckled and smiled. “Otherwise my holiday will be spent with Tony telling me not to do things”

“You won’t be going to Germany with him?” I shook my head and he frowned. “Damn, I was hoping I’d at least have a friend with me” he laughed, making my heart drop slightly.

“Tony wouldn’t even let me near the country. I wouldn’t want to go anyway if you are. Even if we both asked. You’re definitely going then?” he nodded and I sighed.

“What?” he asked, sitting beside me.

“I don’t want you to, it’s dangerous. I’m worried Tony is going to get you killed” Peter hummed quietly and I bit into my lip. “You’re not ready for this kind of task. Have you ever killed someone Peter?” He shook his head. “Because everyone there has, most of them have killed more than a dozen… hell. You’re going to be fighting Steve Rogers, and he’s the most moral man, but at his age… just think about how many he killed in the war, hydra? When the avengers first came together, how many aliens attacked?” Peter nodded and I let out a groan.

“then the three hydra hele carriers, they can hold up to 3000 people on each. I’ll give Steve the credit that they only had skeleton crews, but that’s 700 a piece. 2100 hydra agents he killed that day, probably alongside a few other people. Don’t think he’s a killing machine, I mean I like Steve. We get on quite well, even if Tony hates it. Steve doesn’t like killing, he hates it, but if its kill or someone else will get killed. He will do anything to protect the people”

“Do you think he’ll try to kill me?” I shook my head.

“He’ll know you’re a kid, Steve isn’t stupid. He’ll also know this was Tony’s plan, use a kid to distract him. Steve will hate this as much as I do. He doesn’t want young people involved in saving the world, hell if it were up to him then it would only be him and tony having this confrontation. He doesn’t want people involved” Peter nodded and I sighed. “My uncle is much more dangerous anyway, I’m worried about Steve”

“You think Mr Stark will hurt the Captain?” I nodded.

“I love my uncle, but Steve hasn’t nuked an entire alien population, Tony hasn’t ever shown any fear over killing someone to get his job done. He wont hold back just because he worked alongside these people. They are just another enemy to him now, standing in the way of what he wants” Peter bit into his lip and I ran a hand through my hair. Just be careful Pete, this war, it will have casualties” I took a deep breath, looking straight ahead.

“are you worried about me?” he asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, but don’t let that go to your head spiderling” Peter laughed. “I see so much potential in you, not as a hero but as a person. Tony doesn’t see Peter, he sees a distraction in the fight” the boy next to me nodded and I sighed.

“Do you think I’ll get hurt? Or..” he trailed off, too worried to say what he was thinking.

“I don’t know. Honestly Peter, with this war. I can’t guess who will make it out, but I don’t think it’s going to end well. I’m just hoping Tony comes back” I mumbled, Peter’s breath caught in his throat. “Even if he doesn’t get injured, how do I know he’ll still be uncle Ant when he comes back from this all?” I asked quietly, Peter placed a hand on my shoulder and sat in the seat beside me.

“Mr Stark isn’t going to get hurt, and he isn’t going to change” Peter whispered and I rolled my eyes. “I promise, I will make sure he does” I shook my head quickly and stood up,

“No, Peter. Forget I said anything. Nothing was discussed. You forget what I said about Tony and we never talk about it again” I quickly snapped, walking to my desk and shutting the notebook. “We aren’t friends, I’m here to watch over you and mould you into a hero, don’t start trying to be my friend” I mumbled.

“But, I thought-“ I cut peter off by letting out a sigh.

“What, that by some miracle the young girl Tony brought along just happened to want to start school, with you, the next day… this is a part of his plan okay. He wants us to be friends, he wants you to fall in love with me, because he knows that if you did, you’d do anything for him, to keep me happy” I groaned, running a hand through my hair.

“I think it would be best if you just went Pete, I’m not in the mood to be dealing with Tony’s shit tonight” I snapped, not saying another word. I heard Peter gathering his things, his breathing uneven and his heartrate getting faster as each moment passed. He walked to the door, stopping as his hand held the handle.

“I don’t think Mr Stark was trying to get me to fall in love. I think he wants you to” Peter whispered.

“Why would he do that, I’m broken Peter. I’ll never have a normal life, and even if I could… why would he want me to date someone with powers? He sees what it did to him and pepper, to my family. He would never want me to fall in love with you Peter” I mumbled, keeping my back to the young boy behind me.

“At least you decided that early, before we could start caring about each other” he breathed, before quickly walking out of the room. I groaned and fell back into the sofa, burying my face into the cushion. I pulled out my phone and dialled the first person I could think of.

“Rogers, what can I do for you?” He spoke, cheerfully.

“Hi Cap. I need to talk to you, is an hour good?” I asked softly, not wanting to sound suspicious.

“Yeah, same building?” I hummed and closed my eyes tightly. “You okay kid?”

“Yeah, just need time away from Tony and the Spider… I realised there a lot more to Tony’s plan, not to hurt you though” I sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve offered, looking across the roof as I landed. “Spider?” he asked softly.

I looked around, listening out for anyone suspicious. “We’re clear. No Stark spies around” I smirked.

“Okay, that’s going to need explaining… but first, you called about Tony and some Spider?” Steve asked, I nodded and shifted in my seat.

“Tony’s up to something, and I’m not completely sure what, or who it’s supposed to affect. But I just know he’s trying” Steve cocked an eyebrow. “He was so determined for me to meet this guy, to come with him, he used the excuse of our ages… but he enrolled me into this boy’s school, and I know for a fact he paid them off so I would be in all his classes. He wants me to design his suit, and even…” I bit into my lip, trying to figure out what to call Peter.

“We’ll call him Tom, for sake of conversation” Steve offered, I nodded quickly.

“Even Tom asked me to help design his suit, not aware that Tony had already requested it. And he’s rushing it. Tony wants the suit done by next Monday. But, today with Tom… it’s like, we’re quickly becoming friends, and he even offered to ensure Tony came home safe, so I wouldn’t worry about Tony coming home safe… I’m not sure if Tony’s doing it to get P-Tom to be a sacrificial lamb, or if he’s trying to keep me distracted so I don’t try to end it before the battle begins” I ran a hand through my hair and Steve let out a sigh.

“You know what I think?” Steve asked, and I shrugged lightly. “I think, Tony doesn’t understand. I think he probably has brought you together to get Tom to be more willing to fight beside him, but only because he knows the boy will fall for you, and I assume Tom knows who Tony is to you?” I nodded.

“Tom falling in love with you would only do Tony more good, because he would fight harder to protect you. I don’t think Tony planned it that way, but it’s how it seems it might play out. But I think, in all honesty, I think Tony might just have brought you along because he found someone like you, someone that can keep up with that brain of yours” Steve tapped my temple and I chuckled. “Seriously kid, I think he just wants you to be happy, and feel like a normal teenager for once”

“I doubt it, but I would like to think so” I laughed, making Steve chuckle.

[v-writings]

It's a little bit after the events in Apocalypse. Peter is happily teaching Physics & working hard with the X-Men, he visits his mother & sister frequently, he told Erik the truth, & overall, he's happy & at peace. They're happy for him, but they can't help but notice the tinge of sadness that appears in his eyes whenever he sees a happy couple. His friends & Erik worry about him, not wanting him to end up all alone (& Erik also wants lots of grandkids). So, thinking they could be perfect (1/?)

matchmakers for their friend, they start discretely sending him on blind dates without his knowledge. Whenever they find someone they think he'll like, they invite them to hang with them & get to know Peter. Sweet boy is completely oblivious & it isn't until around the twelfth time does he realize his friends are trying to set him up. He kindly but firmly tells them to knock it off, that he appreciates the help, but he's not looking for anyone right now because he's content with his life. They decide to step back & leave him be, but they still worry about him. Flash forward a couple months after all their shenanigans, Peter begins being extra jittery as the days go by. At first, everyone thinks he's been chugging too many energy drinks to compensate for all the grading he has to do with finals coming up, but on the last day before Winter Break, Peter is beyond hyper & jittery; he's ecstatic & ready to burst & nobody knows why, until a new professor comes to Xavier's. Everyone's shocked when Peter races over to them & spins them around a little before dipping them for a big kiss, not believing their eyes as the apparent couple reunites after several years apart. Turns out, Peter had been in a relationship this whole time his high school sweetheart, but had to resort to having a long distance relationship when they went to another country to complete their schooling. Suddenly it all made sense: the constant trips out if the country over any school break, refusing to date, keeping to himself, & that sad, homesick look he gets when he sees couples; Peter missed his babe, & apparently, everyone else missed them too. As the two lovers continued to their very public reunion with more excited kisses & hugs, Erik nearly passed out & the others practically gasped when they saw the huge rock on Peter's s/o's left ring finger."YoU HAVE A WIFE & YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL US?!???""Fiancé, actually--""PeTER"

this is perfect and amazing and fantastic and i have no words and also i am dead

[creativeashproductions]

Heat of the Moment [Part 1]

Prompts #20: “Let’s have some fun. A little truth or dare never hurt anybody”  and  #26: “Wait, where are my clothes?” #28: I wasn’t listening, I was undressing you with my eyes...?” and  #5: “Damn you are a kinky motherfucker...I like it.”

Author(s): Caitsy and Ash

Warnings: Swearing, use of sexual words, Nat being sexy, Stucky,

Disclaimer: We do not own marvel or any characters. We also do know any gifs, images, jokes or songs that appear in this prompt.

Summary: Things get heated when Peter Parkers older sister comes for a visit when Peter’s never talked about her. Things get heated between reader and Scott. Bucky and Steve land themselves in an uncomfortable situation with each other. What really went on that night?

Requested: Yes. Anonymous

A/N: This is the first time Ash and I have co-authored something because we were stumped individually on how to take this so we did role-play lol. Enjoy.

Masterlist

Prompt List

Give is how we co-authored this shit out of this.

You weren’t that well known to the Avengers mainly because you were the older sister of a bug. Peter Parker was your little brother but he refused to let you anywhere the superheroes at the beginning because he saw you as the cool sibling. Actually Peter finally relented on not telling the Avengers about you so here he was was shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

“I have a secret.” Peter said drawing in a deep breath. Everyone dropped what they were doing to watch the bug boy talk.

“Did you murder your brothers Spider-boy?” Sam questioned leaning back into the couch.

“No that’s to be expected, I think Spidey is hiding something way more intriguing. I bet he’s secretly plotting to unleash a world of spiders. Maybe even a spider Godzilla.” Scott said. Everyone just looked at him wondering how this genius had a degree in electrical engineering.

“As cool as that sounds that’s not what I’ve come to confess.” Peter took in an even deeper breath. He went to speak only to be interrupted by a voice coming from the back.

“You still haven’t told them about me, have you punk?”

“Hey! That’s my nickname for Steve!” Bucky exclaimed not expecting it.

Peter face palmed as his older sister, as per usual, barged in when he was trying to do his thing. Everyone looking at the newcomer had a hard time grasping his Peter knew someone like this woman.

“How did you get into my building?” Tony questioned climbing to his feet in worry.

“Better yet how did the bug get her in his life?” Sam joked looking at the newcomer with a grin.

“Y/N Parker at your service.” You smirked taking a seat in the open chair crossing your legs, “By the way Tony, you’re technology isn’t all that strong against someone like me.”

Tony muttered pulled out his tablet with a glare towards the woman as he tried see just how she had gotten in without an alarm going off. Finding nothing he sat back down and emotionally isolated himself.

“Excuse me. I have to go reprogram and strengthen my security.” Tony huffed storming towards the elevator.

“Everyone, this is my sister.” Peter said reluctantly but with a bit of pride in his voice. He walked over and leaned down grabbing her around the neck. He whispered something in her ear making her laugh.

“Wait, just wait a minute.” Scott threw up his fingers not sure if he actually believed what was going on. He was secretly waiting for Ashton Kutcher to show up and let him know he was Punk’d.

“She’s your sister? I mean … you’re a bug. She’s hot. How does that work? You’re adopted aren’t you?” Scott moved his finger accusingly between the two of us. Peter and I just sat kind of dumbfounded before shaking our heads and laughing.

“We came from the same womb and parents.” You chuckled, “You blind there or does your mind stay the same small size?”

“Oh you have jokes, funny. Your jokes are as bad as his, you guys are definitely related.” Scott just shot you a wink and a sly smile. This guy was going to be trouble.

“My ‘bad’ jokes are better than your flirty words.” You rolled your eyes stretching your legs out, “I mean are you compensating your small dick or something?”

Scott seemed a bit taken back unsure of how to respond you. He’d never met someone so..feisty. If he was being honest, he rather liked it. “I don’t have to compensate for anything, my dick is quite the prize. Maybe you’ll find out at some point.”

“Um. No. I prefer men with...well not someone like you.” You chuckled as Peter made a sound is disgust.

“My sister’s practically a nun thank you very much.” Peter sniffled crossing his arms.

“Oh baby brother. Don’t you remember my boyfriend? We closed the door and we sure as hell weren’t play board games nor having a tea party.” You laughed as Peter gagged and shook his head.

“Oh (Y/N), you’re just full of surprises. Aren’t you?” Scott said in a coy tone. I could feel him looking me over and I knew ideas were just rolling around in his head. This weekend was going to be an interesting one to say the least.

“Well you know since you are new here and we barely know you. I think we should change that. A few drinks and a welcome to the tower party are in order.” Scott noted.

Steve groaned along with Bucky because they both knew that they would have to babysit drunk Avengers once more. Last time they played a drinking game Steve almost lost an eye when Scott decided to try Clint’s bow and arrow.

“Maybe we shouldn’t.” Steve calmly said, “Remember last time? Scott you-”

“Oh what did the little nuisance do?” You pouted, “Ants are such strange and unneeded creatures.”

“Strange, yes but unneeded … that’s a big no.” Scott said walking closer to where I was sitting. “And for the record, let’s just say tequila and archery don’t mix.” Scott said as he mock wiped the conversation over with his hands.

“Besides, who says bug boy’s sister could even keep up with us?” Scott scoffed. “She’s probably one drink and done.”

“Oh jesus.” Peter groaned collapsing onto the ground beside the chair, “Can we not talk about my sister’s life?”

“You’re just sad that you’re a lightweight.” You shot back at your brother before turning towards Scott again, “You’re looking at the current record holding in drinking games. I’m so legendary at college that Peter’s child friends know all about me.”

“It’s true! She drank so much she almost had alcohol poisoning.”

“If drinking was a career I would be fucking rich and the best. I can drink the strongest vodka straight vodka only.”

“Do they know all about you for your drinking or because of the tea parties you like to throw behind closed doors?” Scott said narrowing his eyes at me and running his eyes over me. Oh, that cocky bastard.

“You did not just accuse my sister of being a whore!” Peter shouted almost in rage and turning red.

Steve and Bucky grabbed the seething young Parker holding him tightly as to ensure the oddly strong boy from swinging. The team shifted uncomfortably at the entire time Y/N and Scott were bantering.

“Holy shit the sexual tension has grown.” Tony said as he made his reappearance, “FRIDAY informed me the words ‘drinking games’ was used at some point.”

“Of course alcohol would bring you back.” Bucky said rolling his eyes.

“Feels like a frat party with the sexual tension. Impressive given it’s only two people.”

“I need alcohol.” You moaned before opening your backpack to pull out a bottle of vodka. Everyone in the room froze at the sight before you looked down at it, “I was taking it to a girls night but I’m going to need it here.”

“Oh god, my sister is an alcoholic.” Peter muttered under his breath while shaking his head.

“I’ll grab the glasses and three more bottles.” Tony said whisking away to the bar that sat in the back of the room. You saw Steve and Bucky share knowing glances “we’re in for a long night.”

“Did that Thor guy leave any of that strong alcohol from wherever he comes from?” You asked getting looks from everyone. Peter had to take another glance at you in slight shock.

“How the hell?” Peter, “You drink alcohol like water. Holy fuck”

“Like a wise man once said, ‘that’s my secret, I’m always mad’”

“Wait you’re drunk all the time?” Steve exclaimed.

“No. I just like the quote.” You laughed, “I’m tipsy like forty percent of the time.”

“So you are an alcoholic. This explains a lot of things actually. “ Peter said kind of just shrugging it off.

“Alright children. Now we know everyone here is either a drunk, a pansy or just a weirdo we can get down to the important stuff. What game are we playing?” Tony asked coming settle back between all of us.

Scott’s hand shot up. “Really Scott, none of us are in pre-school” I quipped back.

“Ok alkie, I say we play something that’s a little unconventional and a little old school. For all the old people in our presence. Cap and Bucky I’m referring to you.” Scott said as he flashed a pointer finger their way, “Let’s have some fun. A little truth or dare never hurt anybody”

“So did that hot guy leave his magic drink here?” You questioned tilting your head, “I want to see a tipsy Stucky.”

“Stucky?” Majority of the room questioned while Tony held up the bottle of Asgardian liquor. You gestured over to Bucky and Steve. They awkwardly looked at each other with disgust before shuffling away.

“Why do you look disgusted punk?!” Bucky exclaimed looking quite offended at his best friend, “I’d be the best lay you ever had, everybody wants a piece of me. I can do wonders with my-”

Most of the room wrinkled their noses and quickly shook their heads make Bucky even more offended.

“I wouldn’t mind a piece.” You said taking a swing of your vodka while bringing your eyes over the supersoldier slowly, “Actually a Stucky threesome...mhm.”’

“JESUS CHRIST!” Peter screamed.

“Damn, you are a kinky motherfucker...I like it” Scott said giving me a thumbs up while looking over at Cap and Bucky. “Actually that would be pretty interesting to see. Could I take photos? I think Tumblr would have a field day?” Scott asked pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“I feel objectified.” Steve trailed off looking towards an equally awkward Bucky, “Bucky and I would never have a threesome.”

“No.” You sighed, “You two like the world thinking you’re clean missionary boys. I see the truth. You two are dirty freaks in the sheets. With each other.”

“OMG! Y/N SHUT-UP! I CAN’T...JUST...WHO ARE YOU EVEN?” Peter asked completely mortified. I should feel bad turning his childhood hero into some raunchy soccer mom’s fantasy, but I didn’t feel bad. I rather enjoyed it.

“Who wouldn’t want to see that? Two super soldiers having kinky super sex. That’s porn gold. I agree with (Y/N). There are hidden secrets there. Which means we are playing truth or dare, no objections.” Scott pronounced as if a lightbulb went off. It seemed like a grand idea. Peter was red in the face, Stucky was mortified but not completely objecting.

“Y/N I’m going to need that alcohol.” Peter groaned reaching towards the bottle. You literally hissed pulling it closer to you.

“Get your own bottle.” You glared taking a another swig of it, “Did you think I was going to share with my friends?”

“Oh have pity on the poor kid, I think you’ve emotionally scarred him.” Tony said passing a bottle of vodka and a glass to Peter. Peter grabbed the bottle silently thanking Tony. As he poured himself a glass he looked back over at you. You silently mouthed the words “I will kill you.” You made a mental note to slap Tony later.

“So now the question is who wants to go first?” I asked in a sauntering tone looking over at Steve and Bucky. Silently begging them to go first.

Steve facepalmed not wanting a minor drinking but if he was Peter he wouldn’t already drunk by chugging a bottle. He looked over to Bucky as his eyes slowly up up and down Bucky’s body. Feeling a gaze Bucky glanced over making both the men awkwardly shift and look away.

“Stop it.” Bucky grunted glaring away. Steve nodded before gluing his eyes at the group. He didn’t even look when he felt Bucky’s eyes give him the once over.

“Seeing as you’re the guest and a female, it’s only appropriate if you go first.” Steve said trying to remain calm, cool and collected. You could see him trying to keep his eyes focused on anything and everything. You were taking mental notes of the glares and once overs Bucky kept passing his way.

“Alright we’re going to play it the way my friends and I do.” You announced as everything sat on chair in a circle, “We mash it up with Never Have I Ever-”

“What’s that?” Steve asked.

“Let me explain.” You glared over at him, “What you do is when a player decides truth...everyone else takes a drink if they’ve done that the player is asked.”

“Oooh I like this.” Tony approved.

“If Peter said truth and I asked him if he’s ever pissed himself all the others players who have will take a drink.”

“I get it.” Steve nodded understanding.

“Nat the every quiet spy...truth or dare…” You smirked.

“Truth.” She cooly answered.

“What’s the longest you’ve ever given head.” You said, “Was it less than ten minutes.”

“A minute longer. He was average.”

You picked up your drink and took a swig causing Peter to shudder and nearly take a swig but he didn’t want to accused of doing...that. He was straight. You were surprised when Scott took a swig.

‘What?” Scott asked, “It was college! It was a dare that gave me a thousand dollars. I needed it!”

You just shot a smirk Scott’s way as you leaned back in the chair. He had peaked your curiosity. You felt Peter’s eyes shift to you as he shook his head. He waited for the next person to speak before taking a huge swig of his drink.

“Ok, Peter ...the innocent and golden boy, Peter Parker.” Nat smirked and you could see a devious glint cover her face. You saw Peter turned red and you just prepared yourself to take a big enough swig to get past whatever was about to come out of your younger brother’s mouth, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Peter practically squeaked out.

“Have you ever thought about being a stripper?” Nat questioned leaning back against the couch.

“NO!” Peter shouted. You took a swig of your drink along with Wanda.

“What?!” Steve exclaimed staring at Wanda. You could tell that he saw her as a daughter by the parental tone of voice, “Wanda!?”

“Times were hard for my brother and I!” Wanda defended herself.

You pursed your lips understanding exactly why she had to do it following the death of her parents and just before she volunteered to that HYDRA thing.

“I actually did it a couple times.” You shrugged, “It was the month that Uncle Ben died and it hit Aunt Mae hard that we almost lost the electricity. So until she got back on her feet she thought I got a waitressing job.”

“That’s why you came home in sparkles.” Peter nodded to himself. He set his sights on Sam, “Truth or Dare?”

“Dare. Bring it it bug.” Sam glared at him.

“Stand outside naked for three minutes.” Peter announced.

“WEEEAKK.” Scott shouted along with Sam and Bucky. Sam stripped before strutting out the balcony wiggling until he was leaning against the wall beside the door.

You didn’t happen to miss the way Steve and Bucky both watched Sam strip and walk out. Then turn back to each other and quickly divert their gaze.

“Scott, truth or dare?” Tony asked holding up his glass of scotch and taking a huge swig. Scott looked at you giving you a once over before turning to back to Tony. He stood up taking a deep breath before taking a long swig.

“Truth. You metal man. Hit me!” He exclaimed, he made it no secret that the liquor was starting to hit him. You just giggled watching the antics.

“When you first had sex, did you suffer from premature ejaculation?” Tony just sat there as if his question was every bit normal. Everyone looked at Scott. There was a unanimous yes that filled the room and you noticed Tony, Steve and Bucky all taking a swig of their drink.

“For the record, No I didn’t. That has never been an issue. But nice to know all the big men in the room have to compensate.” He scoffed and just mumbled something under his breath.

“Y/N...truth or dare sweetcheeks?” Scott smirked looking over at you. You chuckled before leaning forward.

“Dare...bitch.” You laughed returning his smirk.

“Kiss someone of the same sex.” Scott grinned. You shrugged before looking towards Nat.

“You single?” Nat hummed in response, “Wanna make out like teens?”

Nat laughed before coming over to you swaying her hips as she walked over. She leaned down placing her hands on either side of the back of your chair and whispered in your ear. You could feel her lips running over the shell of your ear, down your earlobe and softly but barely across your jaw. She pressed her body a little bit closer to yours before straddling herself on top of you. You took her hands and pressed her face closer to yours. “Let’s give em a show” you whispered and she happily nodded, “Peter go to the kitchen for a minute, we both don’t want to have this happen with you in the room.”

Nat ran her fist in your hair while you kissed with furiosity. You let a small kiss escape your lips as you battled for dominance and Nat took that moment to slide her tongue inside. Both of you exploring and devouring each other. You could feel her hands sliding down your chest and above the hem of your pants. You moved your lips to her neck biting, teasing, sucking while your hands made their way to her chest. You felt Nat starting to grind against you. She let out a soft moan and you gave her neck one last bite before capturing her lips once last time.

Pulling back you saw the shocked expressions on everyone along with all the men besides Tony looking mighty tighter in some areas. You straightened your shirt as Peter walked back into the room without looking at you or Nat.

“I had a girlfriend in college.” You waved off the questions, “Bucky...dearest Bucky. Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.” Bucky said giving you a look.

“I’m not even sorry about this.” You shrugged before fixing your eyes on Steve too, “I dare you to...lick Steve from his neck...past to his navel and just slightly above his the elastic band of his boxers. Make it like you’re seducing him.”

Steve and Bucky looked at each other. You could see both of them tense up and squirm a little bit at the dare. “Guys, we don’t have all night the clock is ticking.” I said teasingly.

“I’ve never been one to shy away from a dare and I damn sure won’t start now.” Bucky said as he stood up. “Trust me pal?” He asked Steve placing out his hand for Steve to grab it.

“Always” Steve said as he started to take off his shirt. “No let me.” Bucky whispered.

Bucky gently placed his hands against Steve’s and pushed it back down to his side as he softly smiled. He snaked his hand down his chest playing with the hem of his shirt as he started to kiss on his neck. “Just enjoy” Bucky whispered in his ear, just a bit loud enough for everyone to hear.

Steve’s eyes closed shut, almost uncomfortably. It took both of the men a minute to let go of the tension. As Bucky started to kiss on Steve’s neck you saw his eyes become less tight. His hands made their way into Bucky’s hair gripping at the chestnut strands. Bucky was biting Steve’s neck just enough to feel a little pressure. He ran his metal arm underneath Steve’s shirt. The cold metal was a nice contrast against Steve’s boiling hot skin. He felt Bucky’s fingers dancing on the waistband of his pants … right above where things were starting to get a bit to tight. Steve and Bucky seemed to forget about everyone in the room as Bucky ripped open Steve’s shirt. He ran his hands over Steve’s chest teasingly over his hardened nipples which made Steve moan slightly.

“Fuck Bucky” Steve moaned out as Bucky started to lick and kiss his way down. He stopped at Steve’s nipples taking a moment to kiss, suck and lick. Steve’s grip on Bucky’s hair tightened and you heard a moan escape the brunette’s lips. Bucky dropped to his knees in front of his best friend and Steve looked down at him through lust blown eyes. Bucky kissed and licked his way down from Steve’s nipples to his navel dipping his tongue inside. He made it a point to trace the outline of each ab...nipping and biting. He made his way to Steve’s pants tugging them down just enough to expose that glorious v-cut and make you wonder how much more he needed to pull down to expose Steve’s cock. Bucky took his mouth and traced the v-cut on each side. He teasingly and softly kissed right above the line of Steve’s pants. He bit it softly, sucking just a tiny bit. He only pulled away when he noticed a purplish-blue mark forming.

“Told I could do wonders” Bucky smirked into Steve’s ear as he stood back up and went to go sit down.

“Sweet jesus fuck.” You choked out shifting in your seat, “Nat they made us look like inexperienced school girls. It was hot as hell, I think I need shower...or a man.”

“I cou-”

“I said man. Not Ant.”

“Man is in my n-”

“Mhm. We’ll see.” You trailed off taking him in before deciding if it could happen, “So is Stucky going to happen?”

“I think it is.” Peter said staring harshly at the wall, “I’m not innocent anymore.”

The night turned into a long drinking game with two bottles of Asgardian liquor was finished by the drunk supersoldier. Clint waved to everyone, nobody was sober enough to notice, as he felt a rather large need to video chat his wife. Everyone was really drunk.

“Scott...t-ruth or daaaree?” You asked not knowing who was left in the room. You could see him staring right at you and not looking like he was going to answer, “Scott are you listening?”

“I wasn’t listening, I was undressing you with my eyes…? See you in my dreams sweetheart.” Scott answered before he passed out on the couch.

That was the last thing you remembered until you woke up in the room surrounded by people but nothing really woke you up until you noticed you were cuddling with Scott and liking it. Suspiciously Steve was absent from the room but Bucky was crashed still on the couch he had take to.

“Wait, where are my clothes?” Sam asked looking down at his chilled naked body.

DO YOU WANT A PART TWO? WHERE THE AFTERSHOCKS FOR STUCKY HAPPENS?! LET US KNOW

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[fwittrocknews]

The Gentleman Caller Cometh: Finn Wittrock on the Endurance of ‘The Glass Menagerie’

By Drew Grant • 03/16/17 6:00am - Posted on Observer.com (This interview goes along with the photoshoot in the previous post)

The first time I saw Finn Wittrock, he scared the shit out of me. As Dandy Mott in the fourth season of American Horror Story (that would be the “Freak Show” one, for those not keeping up), Wittrock, 32, was a rich mommy’s boy-turned-serial killing clown (because in a Ryan Murphy production, one naturally follows the other) who turned matricidal when he didn’t get his way. Wittrock, with his cleft chin and movie star good looks, has a polish that tends to cast him in a darker light: as mere mortals, it’s hard for us to imagine anyone that attractive hasn’t just been over-compensated for some defection of the soul. Which is why he’s made such a good foil in the last three seasons of Murphy’s seasonal anthology, playing everyone from Dandy to Rudolph Valentino to a vampire/male model named Tristan (and that was in the same season!) to, most recently, a backwoods inbred cannibal in American Horror Story: Roanoke …a role that required the actor to transform himself with so many prosthetics that he was barely recognizable.

But outside of AHS, Wittrock has enjoyed a killer career trajectory, beginning with an off-Broadway stint in 2011 for Tony Kushner’s The Illusion and a year later, on Broadway in Michael Nichols’ production of Death of a Salesman, a rendition made famous by its applauded reviews and Philip Seymour Hoffman’s performance. (Wittrock, along with future Spider-Man Andrew Garfield, played Hoffman’s prodigies.) Wittrock, like his AHS co-star Evan Peters, seems at home playing smaller parts in larger ensemble films, like his turn in Adam McKay’s The Big Short (where he played a young garage investor, Jamie Shipley) and most recently, as Emma Stone’s clueless, pre-Gosling boyfriend in La La Land.

Luckily, Wittrock didn’t manage to be part of the coterie on-stage during the epic #OscarFail of 2017, as he was in rehearsals for his return to Broadway in Sam Gold’s The Glass Menagerie. (Prior to that, he’d been working with Gold for New York Theatre Workshop’s production of Othello.) As he splits his time between Los Angeles–where he lives with his wife–and New York, where he performs alongside the likes of David Oyelowo, Daniel Craig and Sally Field, Wittrock sat down with us on his day off about Tennesse Williams, Ryan Murphy, and while he’ll always be brushing up his Shakespeare.

What do you think will surprise people most about this production of The Glass Menagerie?

I think people are surprised by how many laughs there are in the show. I was surprised when I first read it.

I don’t know how Sally Field managed to embody both my mother and my grandmother at the same time.

I heard she did some research on that, talked to them about it.

The play struck so close to home, the last third act I was just muttering into my hands “Shut up shut up shut up, you’re making it worse!” Both to your character and Field’s.

A lot of people have felt that it’s close to home, and maybe not in a totally comfortable way.

My first experience watching you was originally on American Horror Story, when she showed up in season 4 as the rich brat-turned-clown-serial-killer. But I had always wished that I had been able to see that performance of Death of a Salesman that you starred in with Philip Seymour Hoffman.

That was a life-changer.

Was that your first big introduction to theatre?

Not with theater as an art. I’ve been doing theater since I was a kid. But it was definitely like, in terms of my career, a big break for me. And just artistically too, working with those people opened me up, I would say, in a big way. So it’s kind of cool, looking back at what I think is five years ago, now.

You were what, in your early twenties?

I turned 27 during the production. It’s fun and beautiful to come back to Broadway, to see how I’m different, how my confidence is different.

As the Gentleman Caller, Jim O’Connor, you’re VERY confident.

Well…I’m acting that way. But I still feel like a kid when I’m onstage.

I was reading The New York Times‘ profile of Sam Gold putting on this production, and they gave you guys a glowing review. And I guess I hadn’t known that Madison Ferris, who plays Laura, has muscular dystrophy. That wheelchair she sits in through much of the play isn’t a prop. I just thought she was making a very specific character choice for a part that only requires a slight limp.

I think Sam is very sincere in trying to expand the pool of what we’re used to seeing onstage, and trying to crack that open; trying to crack open the norms: the normal shapes and sizes and colors of what we see onstage.

I imagine that makes the production extremely hard to block around. The scene where you are trying to get her to dance, and you knock over a figurine…the entire time, all I could think was “They must have rehearsed that scene endlessly.”

The blocking was very specific and very intricate. Though it seems very simple, there’s a lot of work that goes into making it seem that natural. The analogy is perfect for the whole production because the set looks completely bare-bones, but if you see that Times piece, you see there were, however, many thousands of pounds of concrete poured onto the stage. All the sprinklers. This contraption to make the table move back at one point, that’s an incredibly elaborate contraption of shifts and levers and things. Which, basically, no one notices. Because it’s all to make a table move back, seemingly on its own, when the spotlight is elsewhere. All the work that goes into making something seem effortless. But that’s the kind of magic of it.

I haven’t done theater since high school, but even then, I remembered just how exhausting it was. The everyday grind of it all. Rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal, opening night, all these performances…and that’s just like, a high school production of Guys and Girls. I can’t imagine what that must be like on Broadway, especially coming off doing television and film.

It is, it’s very different. The fundamentals of acting are still the same, but the kind of athleticism of doing a play is just more demanding.

I imagine everyone has to be in just really good shape.

Internally, too. Also, I think the biggest difference to me, is, say, I have a tough emotional scene to complete in a movie or a show. That will be like, a really tough day at work. It will be like 8-12 hours that are really rough, having to go there. And then it’s over; it’s done, and I never have to touch it ever again for the rest of my life. It’s in a can, it’s in a computer program somewhere and someone edits it, and it’s gone. But if I have an intense scene in a play that goes well one night, I have to go back the next day and do it again. There’s no finale, you know?

Your character, Jim, reminded me so much of most of my ex-boyfriends. One of these guys who means well, but is always trying to–for lack of a better word–“mansplain” everything. He’s a little bit of a blowhard.

I think he’s a guy who lives by self-help books. He’s a guy who lives by an idealistic, gung-ho America kind of thing. But I think he believes in it genuinely. And I think the trap is having him fall into a lecture-y egotist. I think he is selfish, but completely unconsciously. I think he is trying to help her, and the scene does play deeper.

The way he’s just hitting that beat over and over, that her problem is a lack of confidence.

I think he’s like a lot of people. A believer in hard and fast solutions. I started reading this book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. It’s one of the first kind of real self-help books. It may actually have been….Tennesse Williams might have taken some inspiration (for this character) from it. The way Jim speaks is very, very similar. So I read that every night before I go on stage.

At its core, the book actually has a nice message. It’s like “Make it about the other person, don’t make it about you.”

And explain their personalities to them.

That’s the trap, yes.

In general, I’m not the hugest Tennessee Williams fan. Melodrama is its own certain thing, and where we’re at right now as a country, it feels like watching a show that’s so claustrophobic in its view of family is maybe a bit…melodramatic. But the way Gold did the show felt very modern: there was a lot of physicality, the way the characters are constantly touching each other, that I’m pretty positive Williams didn’t write into those bare-bones stage directions.

I think Sam is always looking to how to be faithful to the play as written, but also be very affecting for people in 2017 walking into a theater. How to do both things at once, but always leaning to the side of what will affect people the most, rather than playing homage to another dead playwright.

At the very opening of the play, after Tom’s speech, someone right behind me yelled out “Sounds like Trump!”

Oh yes. I remember that. The line was about “the huge middle class of America was matriculating in a school for the blind.”

That’s a great line.

I know, Tom has all the best lines. You think of these plays as sort of dated, but it does become amazingly pertinent when you strip it down. And the stuff Jim says about America…it still hasn’t aged. We haven’t aged out of that mentality.

I think the play is really harkening back to a time that is simpler. Because the play is written just at the cusp of World War II, but is set in the 30s. Tom is looking back at a time just before the world blew up with a kind of nostalgia, but also, things weren’t so great then, you know?

No, it seems almost…uncomfortably tight.

Tight, exactly. Claustrophobic. The family as the microcosm for the national blow-up that was about to happen. And I feel like there’s a sense of that now. People are, even from a few months ago, nostalgic about the past.

Oh my god, do you remember a couple months ago? Things were great!

I know right? The world was so simple!

The play is about memory, and that never gets old. You don’t think about memory in a vacuum. Every memory you have is connected. You feel something about that memory. Anything you harken back to, you feel a certain way. Your stomach is connected to your head. I think that’s what the play was after: really stripping memories down and making them about bare-bone human essentials.

Let’s go back a little bit. You said you did theater in high school?

Even before that. I was born in Massachusetts, in Lenox, and my dad worked at this theater company called Shakespeare and Company. Mostly summer, but they do some stuff year round with Shakespeare. I kind of grew up running around the hills of the Berkshires, listening to actors do Shakespeare and being like the pageboy for whatever play was happening at the time. So that’s where I caught the bug. I was young.

Were you a big Shakespeare fan?

Yes. I would say so. It was nice, I got to Othello right before this with Sam, which was great. So that’s where I began, and then I moved to LA when I was 12 and went to this arts high school, called LA High School for the Arts.

Then you came here, did Death of a Salesman…so how does this lead you back to Los Angeles and getting hooked up with the Ryan Murphy crew for American Horror Story?

Ha, it’s funny how life becomes like a domino effect, right? You can track back like “How did I meet that, from that, from that?” I was in a movie called The Normal Heart, which Ryan directed, which Mark Ruffalo was in…and actually, so was Joe Mantello (from Menagerie). He was in it on Broadway, but plays a different part. It’s a beautiful movie. I just got that from an audition. Salesman had exposed me to a lot more casting directors at the time, so I started going out a lot when that was over, and I went out for The Normal Heart and found out three months later that I got it. And then shot the scene…I mean, it’s a nice part, but it’s a smallish part. Really intense and cool, though.

I met all those guys, and then Ryan one day on the set was like, “I have this crazy idea for a character in my show. Do you want to do it?”

What he doesn’t tell you is that the following season, you have to play two characters.

Or I’ll have to wear so many prosthetics that no one recognizes me.

American Horror Story: Roanoke, will live forever in my memory as “the season we barely saw Evan Peters or Finn Wittrock.”

Yeah, it’s the season where everyone showed up and immediately died.

Well, to be fair, that’s often how AHS plots develop.

But that’s the thing about the show! Being dead doesn’t mean you’re not going to work! Kathy Bates I think, talked more AFTER she was dead.

Are you a dancer as well?

(laughs) Who told you that?

In the Hotel season of American Horror Story, you have a great tango with Lady Gaga. I thought “This guy has some moves!” And then watching the heartbreaking way you “dance” with Laura in the Menagerie…

Oh, that’s sweet. I’m married to a dancer, actually, so maybe she’s rubbed off on me through osmosis. They do make me dance on that show, that’s right. They don’t make me sing, luckily…for everyone’s sake.

I have to say, for a lot of my friends, Dandy from American Horror Story: Freak Show is their fan favorite character.

That’s cool. That’s pretty wild. He creeps me out, personally.

Ryan Murphy is heading up approximately a million projects right now: AHS, American Crime Story: Katrina, Feud….are you going to be involved with any of these projects?

You know, Ryan is a very loyal guy. I’m sure I’ll get an email from him one of these days with something to do, and I’ll inevitably say yes.

So, let’s talk La La Land. You had a small role in the film as Mia’s boyfriend. Were you there at the Oscars?

No, I wasn’t. The nice thing about doing a play is it makes for a perfect excuse not to have to go to those things. Or anything else. I guess I might have been there, if I had been in LA.

Did you watch the now-historic moment when La La Land handed the Best Picture Oscar to Moonlight?

Yes, I watched the whole thing. It was…tense. I would say the word “tense” could be used.

But it also made for some great live television.

It did, it did. I have to say, I felt bad because the Oscars had done really well, up to that moment. The show was going really well, it was a relatively diverse year, the jokes were pretty funny, people had nice speeches…and the ONLY thing people are only going to remember this fiasco. The last few seconds.

But yes, it did make for a great moment on live TV. I just don’t know you’re supposed to compare La La Land to Moonlight; it’s like comparing two totally different art forms.