#and he's replied to my story saying the song i posted is a banger | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

not-alien-girl-v · 1 year

Text

Vampires Will Never Hurt You (Harry Styles)

Chapter 7

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

We left the festival at 2 am. Charlie enjoyed the night more than he thought he did. Once a band started playing some random song I think I heard on the radio in 2011 (so you know it was a banger), Donna forced him to get up and dance with her. I'm glad they have each other, even if Charlie won't admit he's been in love with her for the past 60 years.

But at the moment, the ship (Chonna? Darlie?) was the least of my concerns, because somehow, someway, Louis Tomlinson saw the post of Harry I publicly put on my story.

I had been up stressing about it since we had gotten home and I had ended up staying awake all night.

I was currently sat on my kitchen counter and looking through who viewed my story to see who snitched. I know Louis wasn't following me before today, so someone said something and I suppose word traveled around.

And about what Louis said to me, well, it was a simple 'how do you know Harry?'. Not too pressing, but then again, what was I to say to him? We're friends yet I get the suspicion he doesn't actually like me? Funny story, I turned him into a vampire and now I'm training him to be the best one out there! Are we even classified as friends? I feel we're more acquaintances. Acquaintances who are forced to spend time with each other. So basically friends. Sorta like the friends you make through school, where you are always together and just happen to form a positive relationship around that. Would we be friends if I didn't turn him? We're friends, I'm sure. But are we though?

"Good morning!" Donna exclaimed as she walked through the living room over to the kitchen. "Have you been up all night?" She opened the fridge and pulled out some eggs, butter, toast, and bacon, which she was to cook.

I nodded my head. "You know Louis Tomlinson?" I asked and continued to vigorously type on my phone.

"Are you really asking a directioner if she knows who Louis Tomlinson is?" She snorted humorously. She pulled out a pan and placed it on the stovetop.

"Wait, is that what you guys call yourselves? Never mind, anyway, so he saw my story post with Harry and he DMed me. He's our number one loose end, and it's not like we can kill him, so I've been worrying about what we'll tell him," I could tell I was tired but my mind was racing a mile a minute, telling me I was far from falling asleep.

"Tell who what?" Harry walked into the kitchen this time.

"Have you checked your phone this morning?" I asked him and he shook his head and pulled it out after sitting down at the island. "So, I suppose there's a loose end we have yet to consider: Louis," I settled in my seat, "technically, it's none of my business, so if you don't want me in this, I'll stay out of it, but he did message me asking me how we know each other, and I have no fucking idea what to do about it." I was never much of a rambler before, I'm just the type to say what I mean and that's that.

"I should call him," Harry stated, and I got the impression he wasn't really listening to me the whole time, but it was fine.

"What are you going to say to him?" Donna asked, cracking an egg into a pan.

"Good question. Do I tell him? About everything, I mean?" Harry hovered his finger cautiously over Louis's contact.

"I mean, how much does he really mean to you?" I put an emphasis on 'really'.

"He's my best friend, I can't just ditch him, he needs to be a part of this," he stressed, and I agreed. Harry did say he had a vampiric incident with his friend a few days prior.

"Well, it's just that, I mean, technically, we're not supposed to go around loosely telling mundanes all of our witchy secrets and shit," I replied to him and he contorted his face into a strange expression, almost like he didn't believe me.

"You told me pretty quick," Harry countered. "Why did you?"

"Because you are just so gosh darn cute. I suppose you could tell him if it means a lot to you," I said to him. He completely disregarded what I said in the beginning, which I didn't mind one bit because it was only a joke.

"Then I swear to you we can make this last," Donna mumbled under her breath.

"Alright, I'll tell him. That might involve us meeting, would you mind if we met here?" He asked me, hesitantly.

"Of course. Until you get your shit sorted, this place is yours for the taking. Also, do you want us to be here if he does come? Because we can leave if you'd rather be alone," I thought back to when I shared a house with Charlie in 1927. Let's just say, it's better to ask if you should stay away from the house at night then to find out for yourself. I've seen some things I wish I could unsee, trust me on that.

"No, actually I'd prefer you'd be here. Just don't invite Charlie, if you don't mind," he avoided eye contact, like asking for Charlie to stay away was a taboo topic. I'll admit, we hang out with him a lot, so it may seem rude of him to suggest, but it isn't.

"What's wrong with Charlie?" I furrowed my eyebrows and frowned, leaning toward him.

"I'm not quite sure, I just don't think he likes me," he shook his head and played with the food Donna had set in front of him.

"What do you mean? He loves you!" I dismissed, exasperatedly.

"Well, he didn't talk to me, he didn't look at me, and he just rolled his eyes every time I said something."

"That's just how he shows... affection..." I trailed off, knowing Harry had a point, because Charlie is quite fond of me and Donna, and although he is rude, he isn't that rude. "Alright, I'll talk to him sometime. But in the meantime, you should call Louis to meet us today."

"Alright, I'll get to that, I suppose," he finished his breakfast and went back to the guest room, I'm guessing to call Louis. It was then I realized that I probably should get blood bags for him since he's bound to be hungry for more than just an egg and a couple of strips of bacon. I then decided to feed Jorge, who had been sitting obediently in his cage for the past couple of hours. Don't worry, we take him out sometimes. Well, Harry does. Vampires must have a thing about each other because the two are practically best friends.

I carefully placed a small container of blood that I had bled earlier into his cage and closed it. He eagerly drank from it, then sat back on his little pedestal, staring at me all cute like he wasn't vicious when set free. And with that innocent look, my mind went back to a time 50 years earlier.

It was 1968. I was walking through what once was my old village. Yes, that old village, the one I was born in, like, a long time ago. It had changed so much. If I wasn't good with directions, I wouldn't have been able to find this place, let alone know I used to live there. I recalled where my old house was as if you could even call it a house, and then on my way to my car, I saw it.

A garage sale, and a man carrying out an antique birdcage. It had to be at least 50 years old. If that wasn't enough, once the man set down the birdcage, he revealed his pretty blue eyes, pale skin, and straight blonde hair. He noticed me standing there, and stopped his actions.

"Hey! I haven't seen you around? Did you move in?" He asked me.

"No, just passing by. I'm Faye," I held my hand out to him and he shook it.

"Dean," he smiled back at me. I was about to comment about the antique birdcage he had just sat down on a foldable table when a young girl burst through the front door of the house.

"No! No! No! I love him, and I'm leaving!" She exclaimed to a clearly exasperated father. I noticed her American accent, unusual for a girl living in such a boring part of England. Normally, tourists stick around the big cities. She had long, blonde hair and green eyes. I watched her aggressively argue with her father for about a minute before he gave up and went back inside. She huffed and sat down at the edge of the curb.

"I'm so sorry about my sister," Dean apologized to me. I would have been annoyed by this girl if she hadn't intrigued me so much.

I tore my eyes from her for a split second to look at Dean. "It's alright, I've been there before," I chuckled, and walked over to where the girl was sitting and sat down next to her.

Up close, I could tell that she was young; she couldn't be any older than me.

"What's the deal with your dad?" I asked her. She huffed in annoyance, thinking back to the argument she just had.

"He's an absolute ass! I just want to go back to Woodstock but he's insisting I stay in this boring old town and rot with him," she grumbled.

"Rot, that's a strong word. What about the guy?" I questioned her in regard to her previous words.

"What guy?" She opened a pack of cigarettes, lit one, and took a drag, then held it out to me in an offering. I took a drag from it.

"You know, the 'I love him and I'm leaving' guy?" I watched the smoke swirl around us. I could feel Dean staring at us, I can't imagine he enjoyed me smoking with her. I can't imagine he enjoyed her smoking in general.

"Oh right. Him. He's a huge dick, but he's my ride to New York, so I'm dealing with him until he takes me there, then I'm gonna ditch him," she explained, nonchalantly. I was surprised at this. She really knew how to get what she wanted. I admired it. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Faith, but call me Faye. You?" I stared up at the sky. It was nighttime. I doubted she wanted to go back inside, but she couldn't stay out all night.

"Donna," she looked up at the sky too, her silky hair falling off her shoulder.

"Do you wanna get out of here? I think I can get you to New York."

She turned to me and smiled. "I'm so in."

I smiled happily at the memory. I could recall that in a matter of months, Donna was obsessed with all things witchcraft, and later that year she turned herself immortal and joined the coven. Sometimes I wonder if she regretted it. She was so young.

"Faye!" Someone yelled from behind me. I whipped my head around quickly to see Florence. Florence? What was my boss from IHOP doing here?

She walked through the door that was somehow opened even, with Charlie walking in behind her.

"Hey bitch," Charlie greeted me and immediately walked to the kitchen and started raiding my fridge.

"Charlie? Florence? What are you doing here? Unannounced?" I asked rushed; Harry specifically said not to invite Charlie.

"The A/C's out at my place," Charlie grabbed my milk jug and started drinking straight from it.

"OK, but what are you doing, you know, together?" I asked more specifically.

"She's my girlfriend," he looked at me as though this was common knowledge, also as though I should have known this. No one tells me shit.

"What!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, guys, I think I'm going to make grilled cheeses sandwiches, do you guys want one?" Florence seemed oblivious to our conversation.

"Yeah, sure. Charlie? Could I have a word with you in the other room?" I tried to bite back my anger but I was seething on the inside.

"Sure," he put the milk down and walked back to my room. After I closed the door I spun around and gave him a look. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why am I looking at you like that? Charlie, what the hell! How long have you been dating her?" I prayed neither Florence nor Donna were overhearing us.

"We've only been official since last night, but we met last week."

I perched myself on the side of my bed as he completely laid down on it. "Last week? Last night? What about Donna?"

"What about Donna?" He scoffed like she was completely irrelevant to the situation, but I could see straight through him, and he seemed angry at the mention of her name.

"Don't lie to me, Charlie. I can tell when you're lying. What happened with Donna? You two have been practically in love with each other for half a decade! That's not something you throw away overnight!" I said something to him, for the first time since he met Donna.

"You don't know that," he got quiet for a second, "Donna never liked me back."

I gasped. "So you admit it! You admit that you like her!" I lunged forward to him and pointed my finger to his chest, accusingly.

"Liked. In the past tense. I have Florrie now, and she's great. Don't you think she's great?" Charlie reasoned with me, trying to guilt-trip me for not liking Florence right now.

"What? No! Of course, she's great! I mean, I've only known her for a week, and she's sweet and all, but she's not as great as Donna is for you," I snapped my fingers to emphasize my point.

"Why is Donna so great for me? If anything, we're just bad for each other," he lowered his head, shaking it.

"I'm not dumb, Charlie. I've been both you and Donna's best friend for a long time now, and I think- no, I know you two would be great together," Charlie opened his mouth to interrupt with more bullshit but I didn't let him. "I know you liked her. You've liked her since the day you met her. Maybe it took Donna a little while but trust me, she likes you back. You two always argue but you never really mean it because you love each other. I don't know what happened between you two, but I can tell you whatever it is, it isn't worth using some random girl you don't even like to make Donna feel bad."

Charlie seemed like he had a tsunami of words just waiting to crash out of his mouth, no doubt ones that would tell me everything, including his true feelings about Donna, what happened between them, or why he even thought dating Florence would be a good thing to do, but he bit the inside of his mouth and held them in, even though I knew he desperately wanted to give up, he was stubborn. Even if he knew that I knew that he was being dumb and pulling a load of bullshit, he wouldn't even admit that I was right and he was wrong.

He stayed silent. I scoffed at him. I was about to say something else when someone knocked on my door.

"Faye?" Harry asked gently.

I started to panic. "I- um- I'm changing my clothes," I lied. My brother shot me a strange look but ultimately kept his mouth shut.

"Oh, ok. I called Louis. He's going to be here in," he paused, and I assumed it was to check a clock, "a couple of minutes, actually. I thought I'd let you know. Hey, can you be the one to tell him the basics of, well everything? I'd do it myself but I can't help but feel you haven't even told me everything."

"Yeah, sure," I replied, hoping to get him to leave the other side of my door so I could figure out what to do with my older brother and his 'girlfriend.' I still don't buy that nothing happened.

I could hear him walk away, then the door to the guest bedroom, well, his bedroom, now, close.

I spun around. "You," I pointed at him, "need to take yourself and your girlfriend and skedaddle. You're not supposed to be here."

"Wh-" Charlie was cut off by the doorbell ringing, informing me that I was now out of time.

"UGH!," I exclaimed, stressed. "Okay, stay here, don't leave until I say so," I didn't let him get another word out as I slammed my bedroom door shut behind me and speed-walked down the hallway to the kitchen, where Florence was now sitting at the kitchen island, eating her sandwich. I didn't question why she didn't make more than one, I just pulled her up and grabbed her plate, and swiftly shoved them both into my room.

I actually ran to the door, now, opening it, very out of breath, to reveal a concerned-looking Louis. "Hello, you're the girl from Instagram, right?" He questioned my out of breath self.

"Y-yeah," I heaved, "Harry's inside, come on in." I stood to the side of the door to let him enter the premises of my home.

I turned around to see a nervous-looking Harry standing in the space between the couch and the kitchen. He didn't seem to nice me, however, as his attention was placed on Louis, who looked equally as nervous.

"You're not going to try and bite me again, are you?" Louis interrogated and took a wary step inside. I stepped out of their way, hoping they could figure out the basics on their own, without me having to intervene.

"No," Harry responded, yet even he sounded uncertain. "No, I'm not. I promise." He walked around to the other side of the couch and sat at one end, and Louis got the message that he should sit at the other end.

"What happened?" Louis asked with sympathy in his eyes, making me wonder just exactly who they were to each other. What had Donna told me about? Larry something? Whatever it was, she sure was invested in it.

Harry chuckled in a sad way and straightened his hair out with his hand. It had grown a bit longer than it was when he last came to Los Angeles, about 3 years previously. At the time, he had just cut it for some movie he was starring in. "What hasn't happened?"

"That's a bit vague, don't you think?" Louis returned the laugh, and it almost made me uncomfortable being in the room with them at this time, I felt like I should give them their privacy. I stood up silently and began walking to the hallway when Harry gently grabbed my arm.

"Wait, don't leave, I need your help explaining." I nodded awkwardly and sat on the arm of the couch that he had been leaning against.

"Right, then, where do you want me to start?" I inquired, and for some reason, I felt uncomfortable looking Louis in the eyes.

"Wherever you want, Faye," he smiled kindly at me, and it was at this moment that I started to panic for absolutely no reason, other than the fact that I had to talk to someone new and there was no exact conversation prompt.

"Right. Well, um, I'm Faye Callahan. I'm, wait hold on," I held out my finger to him as I opened the notes app on my phone, "574. Well, I will be on the 30th of November."

"Do you really have a note on your phone about that?" Harry asked through laughter.

"Well sorry I don't feel like getting a calculator out every time someone asks how old I am," Harry interrupting made the situation slightly easier, but my heart was still beating loud enough that it was affecting my voice now.

Meanwhile, Louis had a surprised expression on his face. "Oh right. I'm immortal. And now, Harry is too. But, not the same kind of immortal, you know? Like I can't die, trust me I've tried and I'll never get any older, and Harry can die, it's just really hard. Also, he's a vampire." I couldn't help but feel I was doing a horrible job at explaining, but he'd get it eventually.

"Wait, how are you- how did he-" I didn't let Louis finish his words because I had something to say.

"Oh yeah, so like, I'm a witch. I'm in a coven, mostly my siblings and friends and stuff. We do magic, I guess. Aside from witchcraft, I don't really know what else is out there."

"Wait what?" Harry seemed half amused and half scared of my sentence.

"Well, I mean, obviously there are probably more covens out there who have different spells for different things, but I don't know, us witches don't have like a witchy Twitter or something. We don't really know each other outside of our covens," I offered him a smile. "Any questions?" I asked Louis.

He sat on the other side of the couch, speechless. Harry took this time to rest his elbow on my thigh, which was somewhat invading his space.

"I fucking knew it!" Louis suddenly yelled, and I was worried that he didn't get the entire memo. "I knew there was weird shit in this world! I fucking called it, didn't I?"

"It's true, he did," Harry murmured while nodding his head.

"My whole life! I knew there was magic!" Once he calmed down, he turned to me again, his eyes holding me in an intense stare. "So were you born a witch? Are you a supernatural being?"

"Me? No. I'm a human. I just practice witchcraft. Any being can, if sentient enough. Practicing witchcraft is the only criteria that would make one a witch." I said. I bet a dolphin could do it.

"You have to teach me! Please!" He launched himself forward, nearly falling on Harry but he caught himself.

"Um. Okay. I guess I could. I'd have to ask my mom. Shit, I have to tell my mom about all of this."

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

1 note · View note

remythologise · 3 years

Note

I don't have twitter and I'm seeing posts but a lot of them involve knowing what I'm looking at...can you pls explain the latest spn/Jensen news, pretty please?

Sure! Explanation of the events of the past week (some of these dates might be relative to my timezone, apologies for any errors):

JUNE 24: News breaks that Jensen Ackles and Danneel Ackles’ production company has a prequel in the works focusing on John and Mary Winchester; entire fandom displeased

Fandom ire at the prequel focusing on John and Mary momentarily overshadows the fact that it seems like Jensen Ackles has the rights to Supernatural (!!!) and has ‘five shows in the works’ of which this is only the first

Showrunner is Destiel fan-favourite Robbie Thompson, responsible for such Absolute Banger Episodes as ‘Meta Fiction’ (see more here)

A lot of blowback from absolutely all sides of the fandom - BiBros et al mad that it focuses on Not The Brothers, Destiel fans mad it focuses on Not Resolving Destiel, everyone largely mad it focuses on John Winchester (widely regarded as abusive) and the ‘epic love story’ of John/Mary (canonically forced by cupid magic)

Various cast members including Misha Collins, Jim Beaver, Jake Abel, Ruth Connell and Julie McNiven reply to the article with comments indicating they’d like to be involved

Eric Kripke tweets that Jensen and Danneel are ‘the perfect people’ to take control of this story and Jared is ‘too busy Texas Rangering’ to be involved

JUNE 25: Jared Padalecki tweets about being left out of the loop on the prequel; absolute chaos ensues

See this ask reply for a list of tweets, events and reactions

I’ll also add that this gets large enough to get coverage on Vulture, Variety and other news sources

Robbie Thompson retweets his tweet from 2019 saying ‘I ❤️ you #SPNFamily’ in response to… everything

JUNE 26: A scramble for Jensen, Jared and Eric Kripke to do PR damage control on the Jared issue. Meanwhile, Misha Collins does his best impression of this scene from the Lion King to promote GISH

Eric later deletes all tweets about the issue, which is VERY funny. Man can’t handle the heat!

Very funny contrast between Jared’s ‘have a talk, as we often do’ and Jensen’s ‘miss these talks'

Jensen later changes his twitter header and bio from Supernatural/Dean Winchester to The Boys/Soldier Boys which IS somewhat unfortunate and perhaps deliberate break-up related timing

Jared tweets that he ‘doesn’t want anyone to receive hate or threats’ which is like… Jared YOU started this, YOU tweeted this to your millions of followers

JUNE 26: Jensen Ackles does further damage control by tweeting ‘Canon? we got you’ and linking to this article about what the show might hold, which points out the Problems of John Winchester

See article for further details but this implies Jensen actually does care a lot about doing right by the fans and the narrative canon

This, combined with the fact Robbie Thompson is running it, convinces most Destiel-side fans that the show Might Be Better Than Expected and one CW-approved stepping stone to greater things

BiBros are furious because article is written by ‘known Heller’ Natalie Fisher, who is friends with writers such as Meredith Glynn and Robert Berens

Meanwhile, Steve Yockey references the ‘Steve Yockey is dead?!?’ tumblr meme on twitter in a reply to Ruth Connell

JUNE 27: Gen Padalecki posts an instagram story which may or may not be shady commentary on Jensen Ackles

However, yesterday Danneel Ackles also promotes the Padalecki MLM product on HER instagram - can I just say I simply love the use of a) product promotion and b) instagram stories as tools of warfare and diplomacy

JUNE 28: Various scripts drop thanks to the team at tumblr’s spnscripthunt (go support and fund their efforts if you can!)

Notable changed content includes Castiel telling Dean to ‘parent’ Jack in 14.16 and Castiel texting emojis to Claire in 12.16 (possibly an in-script joke about Dean being attracted to a poodle?)

JUNE 29: News breaks that Chaos Machine Productions was started as ‘Free Will Entertainment LLC’

The name was apparently changed in October 2020 - was that as a result of the 15.19-15.20 filming? Or something else?

The idea that Jensen set up a company called ‘Free Will Entertainment’ to continue telling the story of Supernatural is honestly BONKERS. A lot to unpack here to do with the textual and metatextual narrative of Supernatural that I don’t have time to get into, since there’s about twenty wild implications that could be speculated from that name alone

Stock price on ‘Jackles’ Sexy Silence’, conspiracy that Jensen didn’t like the ending of Supernatural and was quietly plotting to take the narrative under his own control, to bring Dean back to life and possibly to canonise Destiel, reaches historic high

The fact does not go unnoticed that, through coincidence or not, Jensen and Danneel registered the company on a Thursday very close to September 18, the Lazarus Rising/Castiel Anniversary Date when Dean was saved from Hell

JUNE 30: Misha Collins makes a social media post with Castiel art for the last day of Pride Month

Twitter post liked by Robbie Thompson

On his instagram, Misha also puts music on the story of ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love With You’ a song made famous by Elvis and then subsequently Destiel AU Fanfic Twist and Shout

“The song was initially written from the perspective of a woman as “Can’t Help Falling in Love with Him”, which explains the first and third line ending on “in” and “sin” rather than words rhyming with “you” - Wikipedia knowledge obtained via @jurisffiction

Falling… sin… But we don’t have time to unpack all of that-

JUNE 30: 8.17 Goodbye Stranger script excerpt surfaces with Dean’s ‘I love you’ to Castiel

Fandom has long known that the ‘I need you’ was formerly an ‘I love you’ because Jensen believed Dean saying it in that moment to Castiel was out of character - but we did not have the script to prove specific changes

Additional ‘I forgive you’ not included in the episode - the original scene reads as very romantic, since this was Dean absolving Castiel for past crimes and telling him he loves him in the moments before death, as well as ‘I love you’ of course being what ‘broke the connection’ of Naomi’s control

Notably this episode written by Robbie Thompson, the very man Jensen and Danneel chose to helm their next project

JUNE 30: Misha Collins misses his blanky text

To cap all this off, Misha Collins texts fans a selfie of himself at ‘the spare room at Jensen’s apt in Vancouver’, saying he ‘misses his blanky’, implying he has spent many nights there

It has been an open secret that Misha basically shared Jensen’s apartment in Vancouver since around 2018 due to [redacted dubiously obtained information] but it’s never been publicly stated (to be clear, this does not imply anything other than friendship, as actors in Vancouver often share accommodation and Misha had previously couch-surfed at Jared and Jensen’s places)

Cockles shippers go wild. Does the ‘blanky’ refer to Jensen? Was there a reason to send this on the last day of pride month? Will this man ever shut up?

Hope that helps! May this wild carousel of News About A Show That Ended Eight Months Ago never end!

#ask #anonymous #kira for ts #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #long post for ts #there ARE people out there who blacklist that tag… this one’s for you #making a text post like. well now what do I say in tags.#god this took me a long time anon I hope you appreciate the hours I spent on this sourcing lskdflskjdfdfsdf #this post was scheduled for 3am no idea why it posted at 10:15 pm thank you to Broken Website #UPDATE SORRY FOR INCORRECT LINK ON THAT ASK THING CHRIST #again broken website I was meant to check links BEFORE it posted

3K notes · View notes

carcinized · 3 years

Note

Hey hey hey I don’t have Tumblr BUT I saw your post about C!Tubbo dissociation headcanons and here I am, asking for them. And possibly more C!Tubbo headcanons. Preferably angsty. Just. Any of them. Please. Thank you.

oh, a fellow starved c!tubbo enthusiast. hello there, i do have some headcannons to spare luckily, hope you enjoy!! mostly this is the dissociation ones but i have some miscellaneous ones & songs at the end for you :]

so obviously uhhh tw for dissociation/depersonalisation/derealisation in this post!!! also going to put them under the cut bc this is long lmao

oh and disclaimer: this is very much based off my own experiences with (near constant) chronic dissociation so it might be different from other experiences!! yeah.

oh ALSO this is disorganized and probably missing stuff because i am going through a bad bout of spaciness as of right now, so apologies if anything is confusing, feel free to ask for clarification!

idk background timeline stuff so it fits into the story

at first he didn’t even realize he felt disconnected from things. it started off as a coping mechanism during combat and felt so similar to the feeling of being “in the zone” he’d known before that he didn’t question it

after a bit, it spread from only being there during battle to during conflict in general. still, he didn’t mind it—it actually made arguments more bearable because they felt almost secondhand.

eventually he came to use it as a crutch so much that it became constant.

that was when he started wanting it to go away.

and then because i can’t bear to give my precious c!tubbo constant dissociation he probably gets breaks from it sometimes idk lmao

his experiences:

gaps in memory

auditory processing issues

lots of depersonalisation and not recognizing himself in the mirror (which is even more fun/terrifying if you add in shapeshifter headcannons)

a lot of the time he feels like his actions aren’t his, which helped him to feel less bad doing morally ambiguous things (spying, exiling tommy, hunting technoblade, etc)

after it all he was left with near constant dissociation almost all the time.

it nearly always feels like the world is secondhand to him and he has no control/impact (ironic considering the power he has, and he knows that, but)

often wonders if he is dreaming and just waiting to wake up from a coma he’d gotten from one of his many battles.

when things get really bad he wishes he could just wake up from it.

often doesn’t recognize his hands looking down at them, especially with the burns he has now. they’re not his hands, right? but they are. they’re his hands. huh.

uhhh examples of where it could have been shown in plot if you squint lol

for example, that famous clip of him dancing while wilbur and tommy argue in the background would be a physical representation of him zoning out (dissociating) to get out of/away from an argument.

the whole yes man thing could have either been an auditory processing issue where he replied yes to wilbur without hearing what wilbur had asked OR a gap in memory where he didn’t remember telling tommy the opposite

he pulled away for like 5 months into snowchester and talked to hardly anyone but his husband and son. dissociation is hard to interact with people during because you feel so isolated for so many reasons—sometimes you feel you’re the only real thing there, sometimes it feels there’s a glass wall between you and everything else that IS real. and even ignoring that, most people can’t relate to feeling that way, leaving you even more alone. he could have pulled away because it was too much too keep going through that (i did that don’t recommend it tubbo JSJD)

miscellaneous headcannons that i don’t see very often:

after winning a battle, his instinct is to play a disc and look out at the sunset because that’s what he and tommy always did (see his lore yesterday (june 18th)—he did it with ranboo despite tommy not being there)

i’m rather fond of my original-l’manberg-citizens-consider-haircuts-and-fixing-up-appearances-affectionate-because-wilbur-did-it headcannon so i’ll add that here—basically wilbur gave everyone military cuts and new suits and everything. and while that was just for war, it was also because he cared about all of them. ever since, they all considered fixing up someone’s appearance an act of love.

tubbo refused to let anyone cut his hair after the red festival, not trusting anyone. he would probably let ranboo do it now, only he’s rather attached to the way it hides his burns and some of his horns and keeps him warm in the freezing snow.

he builds walls like how tommy builds cobblestone towers—a reflex, a coping mechanism, a habit. he built the l’manberg walls and ever since the defense has been second nature, whether for the best or the worst.

ive been waiting forever to share these i have way too many. i pass the hours staring out the window listening to misterwives and imagining c!tubbo animatics to it and now i have a chance to share them oh my god

so without further ado,

c!tubbo animatics i have in my head:

whywhywhy by misterwives: ok this one isn’t chalked out but it has him vibes

alone by misterwives: just him and ranboo. figuring things out. helping each other heal. i legitimately have an entire animatic in my head to this lyric by lyric and could make a fucking storyboard for it if only i could draw. if anyone wants me to write out lyric by lyric what it WOULD be though feel free to send an ask aHAHHAHAHA

over the rainbow by misterwives: a montage of c!tubbo just. finally going apeshit. that would be so cathartic alright and it’s such a badass song he deserves it

it’s my turn by misterwives: pretty much any times that tubbo finally got to do something back at someone who wronged him—the butcher army going after technoblade, him yelling at quackity about borders saying “well don’t i get to put my foot down too?” the lyrics “i know you’ve got your version of the story, i’m sick of saying sorry, i’m sick of always having to explain” during his spy arc PLEASE he had to justify everything he did and the “are you happier?” comment and schlatt breathing down his neck aAAAA give my boy a break (also the instrumental uses a lemon demon-type sound which makes me think of ranboo so i love imagining a cool bee dup building the outpost montage there snhshagahffn)

find my way home by misterwives: idk the vibes just fit man

oxygen by misterwives: hhhrnggg clingy duo angst oW

i did say i spend a lot of my time listening to misterwives and daydreaming c!tubbo animatics didn’t i?

anyways yeah. here’s some c!tubbo content to help us poor starved c!tubbo enthusiasts :’D also misterwives propaganda go listen to them female led band with a fucking badass lead singer with banger songs and incredible vocals and lyrics ANYWAY

#dsmp #tubbo #dream smp #mcyt #dissasociation tw #feel free to add your headcanons btw or ask for clarification on these!!! i would love to talk abt c!tubbo with you SHJDJDJDJD #dissociation tw #depersonalisation tw #derealization tw #allyster rambles #ask #anon

13 notes · View notes

mooosicaldreamz · 4 years

Note

We obviously need your song by song analysis of evermore please!

i got asked to do this about four times so here it is.....much anticipated. i know. please note that when i say that i hate her or despise her i don’t actually mean that. but i do

EVERMORE

OK LETS GO

WILLOW - ok, groovy first time you hear it, right? has a strong rumbly wiggle. let’s VIBE. the low of the verse, the high of the chorus…oh my goodness! what is she doing. she’s just out there! wow. “wherever you stray i follow” is a banger. “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind” with the overlay oof let’s go.!!!! a shockingly strong first entry of the record…best one since “welcome to new york” maybe!!! let’s just say it!!! for some reason “i come back stronger than a 90s trend” throws me off though…i don’t know. it’s just so moody pop, no one is doing it like her!!! i hate her

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS - every time i listen to this song i listen to it four times. not a joke. it’s perfect. i don’t think i need to convince anyone! it’s perfect!!!!! what are you doing? taylor swift, the most dramatic bitch, has been writing dramatic bitch songs since she was fourteen and yet, somehow, she contrives to write even more dramatic things as she ages. this song is a JOKE. there are not ENOUGH songs about denying proposals! it’s just simple and sad. oh my god. it’s insane. the fact that she wrote this with her boyfriend (i have a running theory that they are married, we are going to refer to joe as her Perfect and Glorious Husband from now on) …… come on. the ENTIRE BREAKDOWN. “YOUR MIDAS TOUCH ON THE CHEVY DOOR / NOVEMBER FLUSH YOUR FLANNEL CURE / THIS DORM WAS ONCE A MADHOUSE / I MADE A JOKE WELL ITS MADE FOR ME / HOW EVERGREEN OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS / DON’T THINK WE’LL SAY THAT WORD AGAIN / AND SOON THEY’LL HAVE THE NERVE TO DECK THE HALLS THAT WE ONCE WALKED THROUGH” ……. concluding with that absolute stabby killer “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” oh my god……….. and the song resolving in a very adult “you’ll find someone else” god

GOLD RUSH - ok so like this song is like ok it’s got the same groovy high /low that’s happening on willow but it’s so different! it’s so good! the pulse of the beat propelling the whole thing through and then the falling apart “oh what must it be like to grow up that beautiful”……………..ok. the visceral image of “my eagles t-shirt hanging from the door” …………. i admire very much taylor’s oncoming gift of moving through high/low imagery…… i love her so much? it’s so HARD. “my mind turns your life into folklore” beautiful! BEAUTIFUL! also i have some belief in me that this is about karlie kloss but i shall not dive into that hole.

TIS THE DAMN SEASON - oh so i’m supposed to LIVE with this song EXISTING. WHY!!!! HOW……..oh my god………..taylor was like, yes, i’m going to write a song about a famous girl going home and banging her high school flame for a week and jack and aaron were like oh ok. “i parked my car between the methodist and the school that used to be ours.” she is such a joke. “you could call me babe for the weekend” like ok emo!! emo!!! OK. I LOVE THIS SONG

TOLERATE IT - taylor really gave us the most depressing track 5, but it’s absolutely a banger and i love her! she is just vibing! oh my god. what a specific emotion to pinpoint with this song….it’s such a gift. no one is hitting this space

NO BODY NO CRIME - this song has no business being on this record but in the BEST WAY, like how daddy lessons mysteriously appears in the middle of lemonade. oh my goodness. this is just pure country revenge song. taylor was like oh actually i haven’t forgotten my roots and i hate men more than i ever have. and she got haim to sing with her. and it’s so good. the low “i think he did it” oh my goodness. this song is a joke. how is it real? it’s just a perfect radio song. it reminds me very much of “before he cheats” but it’s a lot more sonically calm

HAPPINESS - similar to “tolerate it” and i think “champagne problems” this song is beating on an emotional bush that is really really hard to hit the head of. like, so she collabed with the national and bon iver on this record and previous obvi, and i LOVE them, but their music can often be very………impressionistic? perhaps? is how i might put it. it’s sometimes hard to get a note of specificity from it. imo. but taylor loves a fucking story bro. and she has figured out how to tell made up stories. she can’t be stopped now. like…this space of a breakup and knowing that it’s for the best and being sad in this way? name a pop star who has a song this nuanced. for real! god. i despise her. “across a great divide / there is a glorious sunrise”

DOROTHEA - the other half to the far superior TIS THE DAMN SEASON and a banger all the same. it has the bouncy joy of the most buoyant national songs. in the same vein as the also far superior BETTY, she has her sweet dumb boy slurry and less intelligent voice. i love that she paints these narrators this way, it’s just nothing she would have ever reached for ever before this period. she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband now and she has begun to understand teenage boys, FINALLY.

CONEY ISLAND - i have upon many occasions opined that i love the national VERY MUCH. i once went to a festival with my gf and her sister to see them even though i was expressly not invited and you know what despite the fact that it caused a lot of angst, i got to see the national play TERRIBLE LOVE in the middle of the night and I SCREAMED IT. so like, listen. what is matt berninger doing here, to me, specifically????????? i was somewhat hesitant about how their voices might blend, but it works astonishingly well. and i think that it’s so wonderful, i can’t. the imagery of a dreary coney island…..”sorry for not winning you an arcade ring.” as taylor always proves, the bridge is spectacular. “were you standing in the hallway / with a big cake / happy birthday”……”and when i got into the accident / the sight that flashed before me was your face / but when i walked up to the podium / i think that i forgot to say your name” sorry to yOU calvin. she had ISSUES. and now she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband. also “sorry for not making you my centerfold” ok kaylor

IVY - this song is about emily dickinson and i DARE you to tell me that i’m wrong. I DARE YOU. I DARE YOU. you’d be wrong! embarrassing for you. taylor finally writing a probably legitimate queer song and it’s about fucking emily dickinson is so on brand…..it’s dripping with poetry and groove and she’s so fucking dumb i hate her so much. her narrative of ivy and poetry and the lakes district…….ok taylor. i know. i know you watched all the dickinson things that came out and you identified with her. the gentle sway of the “oh, goddamn” and the “oh, i can’t”……i CAN’T EITHER TAYLOR !!! i CAN”T TAYLOR!!!! “oh goddamn / my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / taking mine but it’s been promised to another / oh i can’t / stop you putting roots in my dreamland” TAYLOR. and then she says, “oh you didn’t realize this wasn’t gay?” “i want to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed” like @ emily yourself taylor “he wants what’s only yours”……TAYLOR. give me the entire catalogue of emily dickinson songs!!!!! i can’t do this. “springs breaks loose / but so does fear” “i’d live and die for moments that we stole / on begged and borrowed time / so tell me to run / or dare to sit and watch what we’ll become / and drink my husband’s wine.” taylor if you see this post, a, i love you, b, i need you to tell me about ivy, and c, PLEASE can i have tickets to your next tour in the year 2025 or whenever because my gf never buys me any to your shows……….i love this song if it isn’t clear. i think i’d love it if it wasn’t gay

COWBOY LIKE ME - ok this will sound weird and if you’ve read this far i’m going to assume that you don’t care about me being weird…but this song reminds me of the fanfiction STAY THE NIGHT by lynnearlington (maybe u’ve heard of it). please reply if you think about this and feel the same. “never wanted love / just a fancy car” “you had some tricks up your sleeve / takes one to know one / you’re a cowboy like me” the opening line re: the tent-like thing reminds me very strongly of the fourth of july at our family’s country club and they set up a tent over the parking lot and this song just makes me think of that vibe????? i don’t know. i have vibes. i love this song a lot, which is impressive because it follows after the gay euphoria of IVY. perhaps this is because it gives me its own gay euphoria. “now you hang from my lips like the garden babylon” ???? is one of the most gay, seductive, brutal lyrics i have ever heard. she wrote that down and was like, oh yeah, vibez, hundo p. she did that to me

LONG STORY SHORT - this song is an honorary sequel to I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED from the lover era (honestly i’m still in the lover era). but i actually think this song is better! so we are taking that. “actually i’ve always thought that i looked better from the rearview” ok taylor let’s access that feeling! “no more keeping score / i just keep you warm” is like, stupidly sweet. rip to calvin but now taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband.

MARJORIE - made me cry, simple and beautiful. one of the more personal songs on the tracklist! and something that i had never considered that she would write about, but i think the quarantine period has allowed a lot of us to dig into our feelings, so….vibez. we’re vibing!

CLOSURE - this song’s production sounds a lot like bon iver’s recent productions, very tech-y and repetitive and spare. rip to karlie kloss but taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband and karlie’s legal last name is kushner so who really won? hmm? i love “i’m fine with my spite / and my tears / and my beers / and my candles” the inclusion of candles is just. vibez. there are four candles lit rn in our apartment!

EVERMORE - i think this song is very intriguing and i’m still puzzling with it! the simplicity of her depressive gray November phase and then the very ebullient and bold bon iver interlude……..really has a manic/depressive, sad/angry vibe???? it feels so on brand for this pandemic quarantine…..and it works shockingly well, except for that i’d rather listen to the bon iver part for 10 minutes more. “all my waves are being tossed / is there a line that i can just go cross” and then taylor’s sort of call and response with his interlude……should just be the whole song. but it’s still good. that’s how annoying she is

#tswizzle #tswizzy #tsweezy #i literally have totally ruined the tags

30 notes · View notes

1ddiscourseoftheday · 5 years

Text

Tues 27 Aug

Louis: "are you quite finished? All right HOLD MY DRINK..." holy fuck y'all. Okay so quick recap, promo for Louis' new single just went from zero to one thousand, it's (aptly) called Kill My Mind and it's already killing us. Please just take it as read that I'm still having a full on conniption about every scrap of this but it'll be 5k if I actually emote even a small percentage of what I'm feeling. So: first the song was registered (co-writers are Jamie Hartman and Sean Douglas) and then Louis tweeted "Here we go again..." He liked a reply quoting Clouds ("another go round for all my friends") but in fact was referencing Back To You as a clue- streaming BTY on spotify revealed it had a new short video attached of black and white footage of Louis with lettering, BTY title stuff, but with red accents picking out KMM. Why BTY? Maybe because he's close to hitting a billion streams on spotify, this should tip it over, the brilliance... as for why that single I feel like it being the only one that the title info actually has the letters KMM in it is possibly a significant factor. Anyway, his website also updated to a red and black theme, and after giving us like an hour to freak out Louis came back and tweeted simply "KMM"; right after that the cover art with (not yet active) pre-save and purchase links was found, they'd made the link and not shared it yet. And apparently didn't intend to whoops! It's back down for now and probably someone got in trouble as they kind of should: if you're gonna set us hunting for things be prepared to have us, you know, finding things. Remember the hidden TOU director's cut though? There's so much we aren't finding right now probably... (overwhelmed tears) Anyway the cover feels like it goes with the TOU cover (LT1 theeeme) but features a close and intimate and soft but mildly confrontational Louis picture where TOU was more remote and introspective feeling, and loud high contrast red and black and white in place of the TOU cream tones, in summary my crystal ball says you're all correct and it's gonna be the "loud and in your face" pop punk banger we were promised and have been waiting on (oh yeah and we're all gonna die)!

The fan who won the comic relief breakfast with Louis revealed that they've known the single title since then, then retweeted the "took some time cos I’ve ran out of energy of playing someone I’ve heard I’m supposed to be" lyric tweet. Louis said that he will play "4 or 5 new songs in Madrid," one will be released before then, and the album will have "10, 12, 14" songs, "not decided just yet." We learned that the Madrid set will be televised, thank god, at some point we'll have HQ video of it. Jordan Green said the BTY video footage wasn't his which was weird but then he was like oh wait no it is! Lol. I take this to mean it's his footage but they didn't have him do the edit as he usually does. LTHQ posted a pic of Louis in studio featuring (well I say featuring, spotted with eagle eyes more like) a joint and a Winnie the Pooh mug; the cup features a stuffed bear on one side and a bee on the other.

In short, it's only day one (1) and already Louis' promo, again, looks to be absolutely on point, flawlessly coordinated, and so perfectly Louis: smart, interesting, a little mischievous, and catering to the best parts of a fandom they clearly know inside and out, rewarding our attention to detail and desire to make connections and decipher clues. I feel (mutually) respected and seen and fed and I absolutely LOVE IT. I cannot wait to see what comes next, it's going to be amazing...

AND other things happened today as well, can you believe? Harry, who was not in fact quite finished, followed the "Tina she's gay" fan (who was excited about their coming out story being featured in Rolling Stone, a privilege usually reserved for famous musicians), and HSHQ made an attempt to remind us that the gucci campaign is still a thing that exists by posting a pretty picture of Harry glowing in the afternoon light of the Italian countryside. More importantly we got an 'outtake' (??!?) from the RS shoot of him barefoot on a slippery ledge by the water in his fetching shorts suit and cropped sweater and feathered rich widow chapeau that's absolutely to die for.

The Liam charity drive reached goal well before his birthday (the 29th) and the man himself retweeted the announcement, adding "thank you so much this is truly amazing."

Live Lounge is coming soon and there's a TBA spot Sept 16 and everyone is eyeing it for their fave but no news yet, and the SNL new season is also coming soon and has performer slots open; Niall responded to a tweet about how nice it would be to see him on the Nov 2 SNL with "it would indeed." He also tweeted "what's your name," a Nice To Meet Ya tease one assumes, and, never one to like things by halves, gushed about the new Taylor Swift song, making TWO posts telling us it is "important," "a classic," and "will stand the test of time." "Thank you Niall!" Taylor posted. The Omega Masters ft Niall opens tomorrow, and he is there already, and met some happy fans and took pics.

335 notes · View notes

popscenery · 5 years

Audio

LMFAO, »Party Rock Anthem«

by Jake Cleland

‘Party Rock Anthem’ isn’t the best song of the decade, it is the song of this decade. The rotten nucleotides that comprise its DNA and its video’s captured everything that would define the 2010s even before the decade had properly started. JJ Abrams’ franchise dominance, cinema’s sequelitis, Malcolm Goodwin’s role in iZombie — seen in retrospect, ‘Party Rock Anthem’ makes LMFAO seem downright prescient. But as an early decade phenomenon, it’s also an epitaph to a brutally missed 2000s. The Cobrasnake-via-Dim Mak-via-Ed Banger-via-Mad Decent street party fashion makes the post-#mensfashionadvice 2010s look hopelessly conservative.

So much of art and politics was deastheticised by the project of fundamentally reorganising how art and politics meet and whether that casualty was necessary has yet to be reckoned, although it was probably inevitable. But ‘Party Rock Anthem’ came out when hipster irony (a phrase, kids, that folks used to use with a straight face) was only uncertainly dead, with poptimism still holding the gun cautiously to its chest. The ensuing cultural/political schism ultimately wasn’t drawn on the line between left and right, but overwrought exegeses on the meme of any given week (sup) vs. pleading to just like what you like (aka Like Everything). Two fronts battling basically for the same humiliated cause of pop supremacy made the previously delicious sport of music snobbery just not very fun. The only available rebellion was to [extremely Big Sean voice] go stupid.

(This also meant the only space left for sincere irony was, like, /mu/ and /r/indieheads and Fantano’s comments section. (Pass.))

If ‘Party Rock Anthem’ came out a few years later, it might’ve been wilfully embraced, although its pariah status also left the life in it, so we take small blessings with gratitude. After all, it’s a safe song to like: it is exclusively about the unifying force of The Party. Lyrically it even reifies the previous paragraph: “Stop: hatin’ is bad.” Where it missed a trick was not predicting the trickle down stanonomics of K-Pop’s influence, but it was a utopian vision. Superficially, it’s apocalypse-pop but if so, it’s the only example that doesn’t sound hopeless or lifeless (James Murphy arrived five years late to this, but succinctly, at least, with LCD Soundsystem’s ‘tonite’.) You watch Redfoo - convincingly scared while two-stepping through a sea of Air Jordans and lame - finally succumb to The Party and tell me that the alleged zombies aren’t the good guys. NB: the only other guy afraid of them is wearing a shirt and tie.

He’s also the only one pushing a product in the whole clip. For all the zombies-as-consumerism metaphors, who’s really a conformist consumer here? Let’s not stretch this too far, but hand-on-heart finger-tapping-forehead: makes you think.

A month before ‘Party Rock Anthem’, Tom Ewing wrote a piece for The Guardian I still think about a lot. Riffing on Girl Talk’s pointillistic reference dropping, Ewing laments the deficiency of celebrating Moments in songs/albums/patchwork sample monster mixtapes which get lost in the holistic approach. In that spirit, the Beats product placement in the ‘Party Rock Anthem’ clip created a Moment which gummed up my brain creases all through this decade almost more than the song itself. The lone survivor tells LMFAO to use their earbuds. “You got ‘em in?” he says. And Skyblu says:

“What? Vitamins?”

No matter which way you interrogate this moment, it is downright hilarious. To research for this piece, I watched over 100 music videos. I watch a lot of music videos, so the research for this piece consisted of a lot + 100 music videos. That’s more than a lot of music videos. I also watched the ‘Party Rock Anthem’ video more than 100 times, just to make sure I was awarding this Moment the appropriate gravity. So I can say with scientific credibility that not only is ‘Party Rock Anthem’ the song of this decade, but that this moment is the Moment of every decade. It is a non-sequitur nonpareil. Was this scripted or improvised? And either way, in that moment, why would someone say to them, “Vitamins”?

The story of LMFAO concluded in another particularly 2010s way. Another victim of the neverending Scam Season, Redfoo allegedly ripped Skyblu off of all LMFAO royalties. Karma rewarded Redfoo a couple years later when he was hit with a glass in Sydney. In this, we may see ourselves, inevitably disgraced by time.

There are ways ‘Party Rock Anthem’ predicted the zeitgeist and ways ‘Party Rock Anthem’ created the zeitgeist and I was present for plenty of the latter. At least in Melbourne, LMFAO’s recycling of the Melbourne Shuffle filtered back to nightclubs in a way Klein et al. warned was already happening generally. Happy to have our culture regifted if it was also represented, it was less impossible than you might imagine to find yourself inside your own LMFAO music video. But it’s what I came home to after those nights that makes ‘Party Rock Anthem’ the song of the decade, which was: inbox notifications, gchat alerts, dashboards full of posts and replies wringing meaning from meaninglessness in the most seriously unserious way. Epitaphed plenty elsewhere, Music Tumblr doesn’t need another bouquet laid here, but ‘Party Rock Anthem’ is prominent on the playlist of associations I have with the first definitive part of the decade (other triggers: ‘Video Games’, ‘Gucci Gucci’, ‘Bangarang’, ‘What Makes You Beautiful’, ‘Furisodeshon’, ‘Hey QT’, SSSSSSSSOME NIGHTS I STAYYYYYYYY UP...)

Coming from the Gawker/Defamer/Idolator readership to find a group of mostly-communal-but-sometimes-adversarial-but-for-the-better (via “Iron sharpens iron” - Coach Wade) weirdoes eager to unwrap celebrity looms large, I have no doubt, in the definitions of this decade for the people involved. Most have since left music writing or been pushed out and found fulfilling lives elsewhere, but although the pop of the era trended towards the annhilistic, let’s not cave. When I first started writing about music on Tumblr, old heads were quick to say the jobs were gone. Defiant and determined to prove them wrong, I made a pretty good go of it, and others are still doing as much. All the pieces are there for anyone with a willingness to be wrong to pick up.

That’s enough navel gazing for a time long ago. Put it to bed. The revelation of ‘Party Rock Anthem’ isn’t that you should never leave The Party, it’s that the whole world is The Party. “Dancing all night isn’t legendary, only dancing all night is.” The only thing to do in the decade ahead is to keep listening attentively. Let music fill you up. It’ll get in your bones.

#lmfao #party rock anthem #vitamins

19 notes · View notes

r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 5 years

Text

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 58)

"Promos, Sass & Tappen' Dat Ass"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@kellysimagines

@crystalbaby12

📷 cred @queenofthesouth

"That sucks." Casie says bluntly when Luna explains that she's leaving again.

Colson laughs in agreeance.

"I'm sorry, Dilla." Luna turns in her seat. They're driving Casie to school. "You're gonna meet me out there in 2 days..." She gives the little girl a brave smile.

"I know..." Casie responds begrudgingly.

"What if we got you some new shades?" Luna tries to bribe her.

"Can we pick them out together?" Casie has incredible negotiating skills.

Laughing, Luna agrees as Colson pulls up to the drop off line. Casie unbuckles and leans up into the front seat. Kissing her dad first, she then gives Luna a tight hug telling her she'll miss her. She pops out of the car shouting "Love you guys, bye!" over her shoulder. Colson and Luna calling "Love you too." behind her.

--------------------------------------------------

After dropping of Casie, Luna and Colson head to the radio station. Buring two joints along the way.

Luna's dressed casually in a black shirt, skinnies and nude heels. Accessorized in her normal jewelry and coffee .

Colson is in a black T also, jeans and black Docs. Wallet chain swinging low.

They walk into the station holding hands as always.

"Ehhh!!! Ricky!!" Colson calls out aftereeing the host.

"Kells!! My man!" He replies as they exchange daps and hugs. "This must be That Brooklyn Bitch." He reaches his hand out as Luna takes it, greeting him. "Hi." She smiles brightly. "You can call me Luna. Off Air." The three of them laugh as she corrects herself.

"It's a pleasure, Luna." He finally says to her nod. "You guys ready? We go on in 10."

Luna and Colson give each other a knowing look. Colson follows Ricky into the studio, leading Luna behind him.

--------------------------------------------------

"GOOD MORNING, CLEVALAND!!" Ricky starts off. "We've got a great show for you today. Hometown hero Machine Gun Kelly is in the house with his new lady That Brooklyn Bitch. They're here to talk about their killer new single Bad Things and his upcoming album and tour." He turns to Luna and Colson "How you guys doing today?" He asks them.

"Great!!" Colson answers first. He rests his hand on Luna's inner thigh. "We just dropped the kid off at school and are gonna hang out with you for a bit, Ricky."

"So tell me about this single you guys got." Ricky leads.

Luna and Colson look at each other and smile.

"It just kinda happened. We were hanging out one day, she came up with the chorus on the spot... and I was smart enough to record it." Luna giggles and grins at his description. Squeezing her leg as he grins back at her, he continues. "She was out of town one night and I was really missing her so I started going through my phone and found the audio clip..."

"Awww, you missed me!" Luna pops in, teasing him in a flat tone. Colson laughs while telling her, she knows he did.

"You guys are cute." Ricky interrupts them. "How'd you meet?" He asks.

Colson blushes while Luna laughs. Teasing him once more, Luna looks between Colson and Ricky. "Kells had a 10yr crush on me." She says grinning again. The name feels super weird in her mouth.

"Maan...." Colson tries to reply but Ricky cuts him off.

"10yrs, My Guy??" He asks in disbelief to Luna's laughter.

"I hate you." Colson laughs along with her before answering. "Yeah. She's got that kinda haunting quality about her." He says as he gives her a side eye.

Feeling bad, Luna pipes back in. "In his defense, I was crushing on him the whole time too." She says, placing her hand on his.

"But 10yrs?? No wonder you two seem to have exploded everywhere!!" Ricky exclaims, astonished.

Luna and Colson laugh as she smirks "It's kismet, ain't it." She catches an amused side eye from him on that one.

"So tell me more about how you created the single. Because it's just you two, correct? No other writers?"

"Nah." Colson and Luna answer in unison. Both laughing again.

Luna takes this one. "It's just us. I was over in Seoul when he found it. I had forgotten about it until he played it for me over the phone. We both worked on it while I was gone and then when I got back..." She looks at Colson "once we got together in the studio, we had it written in less then an hour...."

"AND THEN WE GOT TATTOOS!!" Colson interrupts her.

Luna laughs as Ricky asks about the tattoos. Colson proudly displaying his as Luna lifts her arm to showcase hers.

"Those are TIGHT!!" Ricky exclaims. "So you guys literally went and tattooed something on your bodies for each other. To look at forever?" He asks amused.

"Life is Art as Art is Life, right?" Luna answers him with a riddle. Her hand on Colson's thigh now.

"What you should know is, what you hear isn't the original version. Lu. Ah, Brooklyn here, insisted we re-record it live with the harder rock/rap/pop rhythm. Originally it was a lot softer.

"Really?" Ricky asks intrigued. Turing to Luna he says. "Now I've done some looking into you, Miss Brooklyn. You ain't nothing to play with. I didn't realize that Nightmare was YOUR song. I thought that was a Halsey joint..."

Luna interrupts him. "Actually, it's a collaboration. We created that whole peice together too. Top to bottom. From the lyrics to the chords to the video to the direct help and exposure we hope it will bring to Alabama's new abortion laws. And actually..." She continues "Col.. Kells and his band backed us. So, all of us will be performing it this Saturday on SNL."

"Really?" Ricky asks as he leans back in his seat.

"Mhm. Strong men can back strong women." Luna states. That is her message.

Leaning up into the mic, Ricky nods his head. "I can dig it." He agrees. "The video's bad ass. Actually both of your videos, especially Bad Things, have a really natural flow to the story they're telling."

"That's all her." Colson chimes in, putting his arm loosely around Luna. "She arranged the whole thing. And any picture without her in it, she shot." He looks over at her proudly.

"So, it's literally the story of your relationship." Ricky muses. Without missing a beat he goes on. "Tell me then, how does it fit into an album where on Hollywood Whore you rap 'Even if I get a wife, she's just somebody I fuck.'?"

Luna laughs out loud. She's been waiting for this. Colson has an answer though.

"You gotta listen to the album." He tells Ricky. "It's out July 5th. Hotel Diablo. A trip through my head. You gotta see for yourself. How I begin and where I end up."

"You got that other banger joint climbing the charts too. It's with.." Ricky looks at his notes. "Yung Blud, right?"

"Yeah." Colson answers him.

"That's on the album too?"

"Yup. Like I said, Man, messed up trip through my head." Colson answers Ricky with a laugh.

"I can tell it's gonna be a ride!!" Ricky laughs with him. "So, this tour. It's selling out all over. Will you two be playing together? Can we expect a pop up from Yung Blud along the way too?" Ricky pries.

"Yeah, I mean Brooklyn will travel with me when she can... And Yung Blud and I have some surprises in the works. Summer and this tour are gonna be lit, Dawg. And don't forget we have ESTFEST the beginning of August, you know that shit gets wild." Colson laughs.

"That it does!" Ricky laughs along with him again. "Now, Brooklyn, will you be on tour this summer yourself?"

"No." Luna shakes her head. "You can catch me with MGK or Halsey. I'll just be kinda floating around this summer." Luna responds.

"So, Summer of Freedom?" Ricky asks with a smirk.

"Yeeeeah.... I guess." Luna dismisses him.

Taking the hint, Ricky leads them out. "You heard it here first. Machine Gun Kelly on tour this summer. Dropping an album July 5th..."

"Hotel Diablo!!" Luna shouts, interrupting him to Colson's amusement.

Ricky grins at her. "Hotel Diablo. That Brooklyn Bitch. Catch her with Halsey and MGK this summer..."

"And SNL this weekend!" Colson interrupts, following her lead.

"SNL this weekend." Ricky adds. "Thank you guys for joining us."

Luna and Colson both thank him for having them.

"Check out Nightmare. We're gonna play you Bad Things. If you ain't got them ESTFEST tickets you better come correct!! We'll be back after this." Ricky finishes before flipping them Off Air.

"You guys were great! Thanks for coming!" He exclaims to Colson and Luna as he pulls off his headphones.

Doing the same, they thank him again. Ricky and Luna exchanging pleasantries as Colson guarantees him a FEST ticket before they exit the studio.

--------------------------------------------------

Pulling out his phone as they walk to the car, Colson posts a selfie of him and Luna from a couple days ago to his Insta. The caption reads:

Bad ass interview on #z1079 with these #BadThings 😈❤🐈 #HotelDiablo #HollywoodWhore #IthinkImOk

--------------------------------------------------

"How long are you gonna be gone?" Colson asks Luna as they walk into his house.

"Well, you'll meet me Friday night. So, two sleeps." She smiles at him over her shoulder as she slips her heels off.

"Two sleeps too long." Colson tells her, coming up from behind as he grips her body tight in his arms. "I'm gonna fucking miss you." He says into her hair.

Feeling her body heat up, she turns around to him. Standing in her tippy toes, she kisses him deeply, telling him she'll miss him too. He lifts her up as she wraps her legs around his waist. Draping her arms around his neck, she kisses him sloppily and passionately. Feeling the fire of him burn inside of her.

"FUCK. I hate leaving him." She thinks as she pulls on his blonde hair. Kissing him all over his face and neck.

Colson pushes her up against the closed front door. Kissing her back hard, Luna rips her shirt off over her head. Unsnapping her bra for her breasts to fall into his mouth.

Using the door as leverage, he presses her against it firmly as he sucks on her tits. Running his hands up her body.

"Fuck me, please." She begs. He submits carrying her over to the couch. As he takes off his shirt and jeans, she wiggles out of hers. Climbing up on her knees, she leans against the back of the couch. Popping her ass in the air.

"God DAMN, Kitten!" He says in admiration before ❗SLAP❗He spanks her bare ass.

She looks over her shoulder at him coyly.

❗SLAP❗He catches her with another one as she moans.

"You want it?" He asks, kneeling on to the couch behind her. Pulling her hair back, he bites her neck, making her pussy flare.

"Yes." She pants.

"Yes, what?" He bites her again.

"YES, PLEEEEASE!" Luna cries out in pleasure.

Colson pushes off the couch, pulling her hips out with him. Running his finger along her wet pussy, he seperates her lips.

Sliding into her, he yells "FUUUCK, LUNAAA!!" like it's his first time inside of her.

Colson has Luna bent over the couch. Facing the front windows. Fucking her relentlessly with the blinds open.

Luna grips the back of the couch, trying to stabilize herself as Colson slams into her deeply. She grabs one of his bare ass cheeks with her hand. Gripping it as he thrusts into her. Again. And again. And again. And again.

Breathing hard and bouncing her ass of his dick harder, Luna feels a rush through her body as she gets light headed.

"OH, FUUUUCK!!" She cries out, cumming all over him. Feeling her tighten and buck harder against him, he let's go too. Cumming inside of her.

"Holy FUCK of a cracker." Luna sighs as her body goes limp under Colson. He lays down on the couch, pulling her with him.

Naked, sweaty and sex stained, they lay together catching their breath. Colson reaches for his jeans, pulling out a joint and a lighter.

"You never cease to amaze me." She chuckles with a sigh.

They lay naked, cuddling in their sex and getting high while going over the next couple of days together.

--------------------------------------------------

They shower and fuck again because life. Colson lights a joint as Luna gets dressed. He doesn't say anything while he watches her bang two 30s. She trades her black shirt for a simple logo white T, a flannel, jeans and Docs. She stuffs her jean jacket in her travel bag, trading it in for her leather.

--------------------------------------------------

Luna's flight is at 2p. Colson drops her before he had to pick up Casie. Refusing to let him walk her in, he pulls her over for a deep kiss. As she pulls him closer by the back of his head, he slides his hand acrossed her throat.

"FUCK." They both think.

"Let me know when you land? And be safe?" He asks her once they seperate.

"Of course." She responds with a smile. She kisses him on the lips again. "I love you. I'll see you in a couple days." She tells him sweetly.

He nods before kissing her back. "I love you too." He says as she pecks him again before opening the door and sliding out.

She grabs her bags out of the backseat. Before shutting the door, she gives him that One Look. With that she disappears inside of LAX.

"THIS fucking girl...." Colson minds trails off thinking about Luna as he heads to grab Casie.

--------------------------------------------------

By time Luna boards the 30s have kicked in. She knocks out the entire 6hr flight.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson and Casie head over to Ashleigh's for dinner. Most of the band is meeting there They need to go over details of the tour. It kicks off in less then 10 days.

Over pasta, salad and beer, they work out every aspect, especially Casie's traveling to both Colson and Ashleigh's satisfaction.

The rest of the night is filled with jokes and Mario Kart until it's time for Casie to go home and get ready for bed.

--------------------------------------------------

Luna hits NY around 9ish. She's caught off gaurd by the paparazzi.

"WHAT THE FUCK....??" She thinks frustrated. She's never had this problem before.

She quickly hops in a cab to BedStuy where she's renting an Air B&B. Pattie doesnt know she's in town early. There's some things Luna likes to keep to herself. Being alone in The City for a bit is one of them. She leans her head against the cab window as she watches the lights dance by her.

"It's good to be home....." She sighs, finding a certain comfort in madness of NY. "Fuck. I hope they don't leak that I'm here..." She thinks suddenly of The Paps and her grandmother. "Steph said it... Fucking fame monster." Annoyed with her new impeding status, Luna pops a bar trying to forget what she seems to be becoming.

--------------------------------------------------

To be continued......

15 notes · View notes

sauveteen · 6 years

Text

Burned Out Pt. 2 | s.m

this is part 2. catch up here.

warning: LONG ASS CHAPTER BECAUSE I HAD SO MANY IDEAS THAT I WANTED TO FIT IN UWU hope this makes you CRY / lots of build up i'm so soRrry (ran out of text blocks on this one so had to shorten it RIP)

The last time Shawn saw you was at his album launch party. He was reluctant to invite you, for reasons innumerable, but he couldn't not invite you either. He could tell you didn't want to be there, tell that you were all but shrivelling under the gaze of his friends and colleagues. Only you didn't know why until after you listened to the album.

To one's surprise but yours, you were his muse. Not for a song or two, like you had expected, but for an entire album. Titled Because I Had You, Shawn's fourth studio album was a sixteen track masterpiece lined with one heartbreak anthem after another. If you thought the title single was bad, the rest of the album had you sobbing in bed at night, stomach churning at the thought that the entire world was now a witness to what were supposed to be private moments, only for the two of you and no one else to see. It wasn't even the subtly sexual songs like Particular Taste that maddened you, but the way he wrote about your love. Bold, powerful, passionate — when, in reality, it was everything but.

What Shawn and you had was delicate. It was beautiful, like a dainty flower creeping through cracks in a cemented floor. Like a green leaf on an autumn day. Not what he wrote, and definitely not what his music videos portrayed.

And that was that. Whatever little hope you had harboured of Shawn being a nice person, of him respecting your wishes and leaving you the hell alone after what happened went down the drain. All you had expected from him after the terrible way he'd left you, no questions asked, was your private life back. No instagram posts, no tweets, and certainly no interviewers entertained. He had seemed sincere enough when he promised to do nothing of the sort, pinky finger held out to you in the adorable manner that only he could pull off. Your heart had lurched, then, calling yourself stupid to ever think that Shawn would disrespect you like that.

And then when the album came out — you hadn't told him not to write songs about you, had you? So it was only fair. He kept his end of the promise, he said. Never took your name, he said. But he did name you, in every other way possible. Your eyes. Your hair. Your scent. The books you read, the songs you sung. All out in the world for people to listen to, and pick you apart. All because he needed a banger of an album to top his previous ones and what better publicity than an unexplained, undramatic breakup, right?

In that moment, you'd said Fuck him and never looked back.

Until today. Despite pushing it back for as long as possible, your friends had coaxed you into hosting a party at your place, since you had completely distanced yourself for the best part of the year after the breakup. It hurt too much to see Shawn completely unbothered, drinking the night away, a girl that wasn't you snuggling into his side. God, you weren't jealous when you were together, so why did it hurt so much to see him with someone else when you two were apart? But your friends being your friends had managed to weasle their way back in, and here you are again. And here Shawn is again.

For the most part, you avoid him. You know he's been looking at you all night, stealing glances when his date doesn't isnt looking, his cheeks tinged red with the alcohol he'd been nursing, loud laughter reverberating through the room. Know he's been looking for signs of him all over your apartment, little titbits of the glorious time you had together.

Tough luck, champ, you scoff to yourself as you head towards the fridge to get out another case of beers out and ready on the counter. As soon as you were coherent enough to function again, the first thing you did was dump all his things in a storage unit and mail him the key. You couldn't bare even the briefest of conversations, and that was the best solution you could come up with at the time.

Well, everything except the ring. While all the love and fondness attached to the piece of jewellery had completely vanished over time, its value still remained. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get rid of it. Probably never will, either, but that's a story for another day.

But you digress. Currently, like always, you have more pressing matters on hand. Your fridge seems to be all out of Coronas, and while your friends like to act pretentious, no amount of Chardonnay can get them buzzing like a gold old bottle of beer. Sighing to yourself, you decide the only solution is a quick run to the liquor store, since you're the only one sober enough for the job. You smooth your dress down, grabbing your keys as you announce your departure to your shitfaced friends.

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes, tops. Please, for the love of God, do not touch my record player."

"Are we allowed to go into your lingerie drawer?" One of your friends, Kooper teases, raising his glass of scotch towards you. You grin, lifting a shoulder in response, "If you can find it, sure."

"I'm sure Shawn can help," Comes a slurred reply, and you can feel your cheeks start to redden. There's a couple of chuckles around the room, and before Shawn gathers his thoughts to respond, you're pulling the door shut behind you.

Shawn is left staring at the door, where you were standing mere seconds ago. His neck feels hot at the thought of going anywhere near your lingerie drawer again, so he chooses to keep quiet. Taking his bottom lip between his teeth, he tries to focus on what his date is saying (something about politics, he really doesn't understand a lot), but it's hard to ignore the dull ache in his heart, growing more painful with every second that passes.

You look gorgeous. Ravishing, almost. And Shawn's always known that, always questioned how exactly he ended up with a catch like you in the first place. Especially tonight, however, because you're wearing red and it's such a look against your tan skin that it has his mind spinning at the sight. The beer in his veins is enough to keep him floating a few centimetres above reality, chucking him into an alternate universe where he didn't break your heart and your trust, and you didn't hate him for either of those two.

His date places a hand on his thigh, and he reacts almost immediately. Although her touch is innocent, hands still animatedly flying around, his mind is everything but.

"Hey, babe," He interrupts sheepishly, "While I would love to talk about Trump for the rest of the night, is it cool if we... get out of here?"

Her smirk then is one that has him blanching in anticipation. It's just the right amount of teasing with a lethal amount of mischief as she grabs at his collar, leaning in close to whisper into his ear, "Why do you want to get out of here? We can do whatever you need, for however long you need, right here."

Even shitfaced, Shawn knows he's breaking every fucking rule in the How To Act Around An Ex 101 rulebook if he follows through with what she's suggesting. Normal exes don't even invite each other to their houses, let alone fuck someone else while they're out. That doesn't stop him though, because seconds later the pair are excusing themselves and stumbling blindly into a bedroom, her lips attached to his and his fingers digging into her sides.

He smells you the moment his back hits the bed, your citrus scent all he can remember from the time you two spent together. However, before he can mull on the fact that This might not be the guest bedroom, her fingers are tangling into his curls and body pressing against his front. The moan that tumbles out of his lips when she sucks at his neck is almost pornographic, appalled at how quick she found his spot.

Not as quick as you had, however — because the first time Shawn and you had gone to town was a day that he would never forget. You had him reeling and begging under you with just your fingers and mouth, placing your fingers against his chest to push him back down every time he got a little too excited. He had never been happier to lose control than in that moment.

Fuck, he thinks as his date's hand palms at his crotch, I really shouldn't be thinking about my ex right now.

Right now? His mind answers almost instantly, Pretty hard when you're literally always thinking about her, right?

He's so lost in his thoughts and her touch that he doesn't hear the door to the bedroom opening, or even notice the light that streams into the room from the corridor outside. However, when a voice exclaims, "Jesus fuck, Shawn!"

His eyes take a moment to adjust to the dim lighting of the room as he tries to figure out who it was that shouted at him, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that it's just Geoff. Not you. Thank fucking God for that. He rubs lazily at his face, turning away from the door, but Geoff isn't having any of it. Asking his date to please leave, he slams the door shut behind her, storming over to Shawn.

"What the fuck, dude?!"

"What?" Comes Shawn's annoyed mumble, "Jealous you aren't getting any?"

"How much have you had to drink?" He grabs Shawn's chin, inspecting his eyes to see just how red they are for him to pull some dumb shit like this. When he sees that he's not even close to being as drunk as Geoff first assumed him to be, he steps away. Scoffing in disgust, he continues, "You were going to have sex on your ex's bed? What is wrong with you?"

"I thought it was the guest bedroom."

"No the fuck you didn't, Shawn," He's pushing a hand through his hair, fingers clenching around his cup in anger, "You're still not satisfied with what you did? Wanna break her heart even further?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? It was a mutual breakup."

"Was it, though? Or were you just as self-centred then and didn't give a single shit about what she did or did not say?"

"Shut the fuck up, Geoff," Shawn gets up, pushing his friend away, but Geoff's fingers are curling around his arm before he can storm off.

"No, you listen to me. I've had enough of your bullshit. You're my brother, man, but she's more than a sister to me. It hurts me to see her hurting, and if you can't behave around her, just stop showing up. She's been through enough already. Can you imagine her reaction if she was the one who had walked in on you? It would've killed her, Shawn."

"I don't— what are you talking about? We're over. We've both moved on."

Geoff's scoff is painfully mocking, and Shawn is narrowing his eyes in anger, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Move on? It's almost sad how hung up on each other you guys are. You can't stop writing songs about her, and she can't stop—" Geoff trails off, catching himself before he can let anything spill. You would absolutely annihilate him, and that's not something he wants.

"What?" Shawn spits, "She can't what?"

"It doesn't matter," He mutters through grit teeth, "If you can man the fuck up and apologise for all the shit you've pulled on her, great. If you can't and want to continue being an ass so you can cash in your cheques, fucking fine by me. Just stop coming over when she's around. I didn't take taekwondo for nothing."

"You're not seriously threatening me."

"Try me."

"Fuck you, Geoff. You don't know jackshit about what happened between us."

"Yeah? Let me summarise, then. You got over her, you dumped her. Don't you dare make it sound any deeper than that," Shawn opens his mouth to protest, but Geoff isn't done yet, "And then you proceeded to make an entire album about your love, something so volatile and so private, and released it without her consent. She could've sued you for defamation, but she didn't. Do you know why?"

Shawn shakes his head, bottom lip latched between his teeth. There's so many thoughts running through his head that he doesn't even have the energy or the mental faculties to give his friend any attitude anymore. After the breakup, the both of you had managed to convince your friends that it was long coming, mutual, and amicable. Shawn had wanted it to be that way because he didn't want to be painted as a douche for springing something so sudden on you, and you had gone along with it because...well, he had no idea why. Maybe he should've asked.

"Because she's still in love with you, you fucking jerk. And it isn't my place to tell you this, but if it keeps you away from her, then so be it.You got over her, Shawn, but you didn't give her any time to ease out of it. You kept showing up with new girls every time, kept releasing these...these PG-13 sex tapes. The album was probably the final blow. With everything you did, her condition worsened, and we all saw it. We thought you did too, dude, because it was so painfully obvious."

There's a sour taste in Shawn's mouth, like the acidic tinge that puking leaves in your mouth. He's pretty sure he's completely sober now, but his mind keeps spinning, to the point where he has to sit down to steady himself.

"What have I done, Geoff?"

"I put up with this for as long as I possibly could, but it's not funny anymore. If not for her, please— for me, stop what you're doing. No amount of fame and money is worth the pain you put her through."

"Jesus fuckin' Christ," Shawn rubs at his face, trying to slap some reality back into him. He didn't break up with you because he got over you. He broke up with you because he was sure he never would. It took him a while to realise how toxic your relationship was getting for him, with no fault of your own. He had fallen and sunken so deep that if you had asked him to throw himself in front of a moving car, he would've done it, no questions asked. To the point where he was so dependant on you that it physically hurt him to leave you. Where he was so used to you helping him through his attacks that one without you make him felt like he was going to die.

His mom had called him stupid, told him that he had let the best thing in his life go because he couldn't commit. But Shawn knew love, and love wasn't supposed to be so scary. He cried because that was the most difficult thing he had done in his life, to date. Not even releasing a completely different genre of album, not knowing if anyone would enjoy listening to something so raw, had made him shiver so bad.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt you. He cared about nothing more than you. The album was a desperate cry for help, him putting out into the world just how much he needed you, as a friend or otherwise. Instead of forgiving him, you chose to distance yourself from him. In hurting you, he had completely broken himself. That's what they say, isn't it; play with fire, and you're bound to get burnt.

"Just— take it easy, man," Geoff claps a hand down on Shawn's shoulder, "The situation sucks over all, don't make it harder than it has to be. Also," He opens Shawn's palm, dropping your lost earring into his hand, "Put this back, 'kay? I don't know where it goes. l'll meet you outside."

Shawn nods solemnly, waiting until he hears Geoff's footsteps fade and the door click shut after him. Forcing himself to breathe, Shawn manoeuvres around your room, suddenly overwhelmed with the memories that surrounded his time there. The self-care nights, the pillow fights, the cuddling. The I love yous. He gulps, trying to see as little as possible of his favourite place in the world, pulling open a drawer in your vanity. Carefully dropping the earring on a glass tray, he moves it around a bit to make it easier for you to find it if you were looking for it.

Just as he's about to close the drawer, something catches his eye, causing him to pull the drawer open a little farther to inspect. Nestled behind one of your divider trays is a simple, tiny, royal blue suede box. Shawn's eyebrows furrow — He had never seen that before, had he? It could only hold a ring, he was a pretty sure, and he finds himself reaching towards the box before his conscience can stop him. He turns the small cuboid in his fingers, illuminated by the soft light mounted atop your vanity. Dried water drops stain the otherwise smooth surface, and his lips part in realisation not long after. That's not water, is it?

Deciding not to mull too long, he flicks the box open. Immediately, he desperately wishes he hadn't, because he feels his breath catch in his throat. Sitting inside the box is the most beautiful ring he's probably ever seen, silver and glinting in pride. As he brings it up to his face to inspect it better, he notices the strinking resemblance it has to his own ring, the one he had bought in Tokyo and never taken off after. There's two feathers interlinked together, just like on his ring, but there's a third, more intricate one binding the other two together in a perfect knot. He doesn't know what to make of it, doesn't know why he found it in your drawer, so he stands there. Twisting the ring in his finger, trying to convince himself that it has nothing to do with him.

And then the light catches the inscription on the inside of the band, and Shawn steps closer to the table to see better, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched in concentration.

120915 to forever, I'll love you.

12th September 2015 — Shawn doesn't even need to rack his brain to remember that that was the day you had first told him that you loved him. You were both strolling through the park, laughing about the fact that were people in the world who bit their ice creams, when you had stopped him midstep. Leaned in, kissed his nose, and told him that you loved him. The blush that coloured the both of your faces after was the most fiery shade of red that Shawn had seen. 120915; the last track on his album.

Shawn's mind is immediately thrown into a frenzy. He would be an idiot if he tries to deny the fact that the ring in his hand is most certainly an engagement band, because it looks too expensive to be a promise ring and the two of you had already exchanged your promise rings a year back. But when, how, and why? Why is there an engagement ring so obviously designed for Shawn just sitting in your drawer? Why are there tear stains on the box? Why does the forever looked like it had been scratched at?

Slamming the drawer shut, he all but stumbles out of the bedroom, making a beeline towards your kitchen. If his date sees him or any of your friends notice his panicked state, they choose not to comment on it, distancing themselves from the distressed boy. Slowly but surely, each of them trickle out as Shawn digs through your kitchen cabinet, looking for a file he knows would answer all his questions. When Geoff is the only one left, he contemplates staying. He owes you that much — not leaving you alone with an ex that you're still head over heels for, but he decides against it. You deserve the closure. The both of you deserve and need the closure, and if it means leaving you to deal with your vices, then he is ready to make the sacrifice.

Shawn doesn't notice a single thing around him, all his attention focused on the binders sprawled across him on the island. Carefully thumbing through the files, he ticks off the months in his head — July, August, September, October, November. Immediately flipping to the month of November, he pulls out all the receipts you had so carefully filed and spreads them in front of him. Wild eyes flying across the documents in hopes of finding what he's looking for.

And not long after, he does. A tiny, barely noticeable piece of paper, labelled Bijoux, avec Amour — Jewellery, with Love — printed on the top in cursive. He swears his heart plummets to the very core of the earth when he sees the date on the bill: 7th November 2018.

Not even two weeks before he left you.

His mouth dries out, and he has trouble inhaling. Falling to his knees, Shawn stares between the box and the receipt, feeling his body shake with sudden, overwhelming fatigue. His head feels heavy, like it's been bashed against a stone and left wide open, waiting to be stitched up. His breaths are coming out exaggerated, wild, making it seem like he's just run a marathon. He has, though, hasn't he? He's raced against time. Against your love for him. And Jesus Christ has he lost.

It doesn't take a genius to join the dots with all the hints laid out right in front of him — literally. You were going to ask him to marry you, and he had taken that hope, balled it up, and spat it back into your face. Maybe he should've had another track on his album, a track about how much of an idiot he had been. He would've titled it I'm Worse Than a Fucking Munchurian Ball.

You expect chaos when you return, because really, what good can a bunch of drunk adults get up to? And chaos you get, but definitely not the kind you had anticipated. At first you're confused to see your house empty, no signs of life anywhere. You weren't gone for that long, were you? And then your attention pans to the kitchen, and suddenly you're living that day again. Shawn staring back at you, teary eyed, hands in fists, and you helplessy trying to maintain his gaze.

You immediately start assumed the worse. He's hurt, he had an anxiety attack, his date did something. When you rush towards him, however, dropping the bags in your hands and falling to your knees, you see what you had never, ever wanted to see. His ring — in his hand. He's holding it up to you, so close to your face that you have to lean back to get a better look. Your hands are balling into fists at your sides, stomach twisting into knots. When your gaze falls to the bills strewn on the counter, you know you're done for. Shawn knows. He knows everything.

Fuck.

"Shawn," You try to keep your voice as level as possible, but it inevitably starts breaking, "Where did you find that?"

"You wanted to marry me," Shawn's voice is monotonous, his eyes glazed over. He can barely meet your eyes, gaze focused behind you instead, "You wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. And I.... I fucking dumped you."

You have seen Shawn cry before. Seen him breakdown before. Never, ever had he sounded as defeated as he does right now, like the very life had been sucked out of him, like it was paining him to utter mere words.

Exactly how you had felt all this while.

"Shawn..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"This," he wags the ring in your face, sniffling loudly, "Was this with you when I broke up with you?"

You nod, feeling your heart pull at the sight of him so... so distressed, so lost. You can feel tears of your own starting to form, but you try pushing them back. This time, however, it doesn't work. They start flowing down your face like fireworks on the 4th of July; loud, uninterrupted, and seemingly with no end. You fall limply against the counter, feeling Shawn watch your every move. Wiping beneath your nose with the back of your hand, you manage to choke out, "Yes.. and—and I was so fucking sure you were going to say yes when I asked you. And then you—"

You can't find it in yourself to continue, and Shawn's hands go into his hair, tugging at the roots in utter frustration and helplessness. He had claimed that the both of you had moved on not even an hour ago, and now he can't even find it in himself to laugh at the irony of the situation. Two adults, crying on a kitchen floor. What a fucking joke.

"You should've told me," Shawn mutters through tears, rocking back and forth, "God, if only you had told me— it would've changed everything."

It's your turn to be angry now, and your body shivers as you spit, "Told you so you could laugh at me? Tell your friends about the girl who proposed to you as you were breaking up with her?"

"No! No, you don't get it, do you? I would've said yes. I would've called a priest and married you then and fucking then."

"No," you mutter, shaking your head. Louder, you repeat, "No, you don't get to do this. You don't get to feed me these lies and these Would Haves and What Ifs!" Pushing against his chest, you sob harder, "You didn't get to leave me! But you did. You left me when I was so in love with you that I could see nothing else. Fuck you, Shawn. Fuck you for leaving me."

"Slap me."

"Shut up."

He grabs your hand, placing it against his wet cheek, all but begging you, "Please, slap me. Punch me. I fucking deserve it."

You pull your hand away, cradling it to your chest, as if his touch burns you, "I don't want to fucking slap you! It won't fix anything."

"What— what will fix everything?" Shawn's hiccuping now, eyes red from his tears, "What can I do to go back? What will it take for you to forgive me?"

"I don't know, Shawn," You reply between fits, shaking your head, "I don't know if you can fix this."

"I'll do anything," Shawn whispers, "I'll do anything to be able to love you again. I'll marry you, for fuck's sake. I'm not the same without you," He lets out a chuckle, shaking his head, "I won't ever be the same. You're like... this part of me that I won't ever get back. Life's been a living hell without you. Don't you feel it too?"

You can feel your determination frailing, weakening, but you're not giving into him again. You're never giving into the pain that is Shawn ever again, so you wipe your tears away, putting your brave face on, "I don't. I really don't. I agreed with you on something I shouldn't have once already, Shawn. I'm not doing it ever again. As a wise man once told me, I don't deserve that. If a constant rotation of girls and a rocket to fame are a living hell for you," You inhale audibly, convincing yourself that this is where it ends. There's no going back from here. "Then I wish you the best of luck. But you can't fix this. Not now, not ever."

"But—," He's pushing himself up, making his way towards you, and you cower away. Something breaks inside the both of you, something so delicate that it can't ever be put back. Not by each other, and certainly not by someone else. Shawn's head drops, and you can almost feel the words emanating off his self before he even speaks, each word laced with pleading, "I love you. Please."

Your tears haven't stopped still, and they probably never will, but you can't let yourself go through the same thing again. No matter how much you love him, no matter how hard he tries to convince you that he loves you too, you know for a fact that the gaps between the two of you couldn't be a bridged by a couple of sorrys and a kiss. It would require something much more sacrificial, like jumping headfirst into the emptiness and hoping, praying that you could steady yourself along the way. You would rather head towards uncertainty than doomed failure.

"I'm sorry, Shawn. You should've thought about that before striking the match."

TAGLIST: @babywhenithinkaboutyou @catalinamgarcia @shawnm521 @holybrandt @fuckneymar @brenda-sucks @livelifesosily @yourwonderbelle @astromendes @ashwarren32 @grunge-pun-kat @truly-l @sunflowerinthefield

#shawn #imagine #mendes #shawnmendes #blurb #angst #fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #breakup #burned out

1K notes · View notes

miki-agrawal · 3 years

Text

From Carole Baskin to Leslie Jordan, the Unlikely Stars of the Quarantine

A look at the people and products who captured our imaginations (and, in some cases, our hearts) during a strange moment in history

Originally Posted On lamag.com By Paul Schrodt On May 17, 2020

It’s hard to think of the COVID-19 pandemic and its impact as anything other than a series of downturns: in global health, the economy, our cultural lifeblood, and moods. But as in any crisis, there are positives deserving praise. Dr. Anthony Fauci, unknown to many of us months ago, now has his own bobblehead—and deservedly so. But other experts and personalities—some with direct ties to the novel coronavirus, others who are delightful distractions—have captured our collective imagination. Here are 20.

Carole Baskin

Netflix’s zeitgeist-defining docuseries Tiger King is teeming with wilder-than-the-last characters, but one rises above the rest. Baskin—the 58-year-old former big-cat breeder turned conservationist and archrival/attempted murder victim of central subject Joe Exotic—sports an enviable feline-inspired wardrobe; coos her memed-around-the-world tagline, “Hey all you cool cats and kittens”; and prefers not to answer questions about her mysteriously missing ex-husband. A morally ambiguous figure for our uncertain times, she’s also sure to be one of Halloween’s most popular costumes—so stock up now on the fiercest tiger prints you can find.

Dua Lipa

The British singer, 24, didn’t want to release her second album, Future Nostalgia, into a pandemic—she announced its arrival with tears on social media. But its neo-disco bangers are exactly what a lockdown dance party demands, and the release is her first Top 10 LP in the U.S. She’s liberated the masses to move while (fabulously) self-quarantining with her model-celebrity-spawn boyfriend Anwar Hadid. But how hard is that?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAayNagnmHF/

Ryan Heffington

Heffington, 46, had already been motivating Angelenos to hone their hip shaking  at his Silver Lake dance studio, the Sweat Spot, but the Grammy-nominated choreographer has turned his Joshua Tree house into a makeshift gym space. For his five-day-a-week Sweatfest cardio class on Instagram Live, he coaches around 8,000 viewers at a time through unique moves. Fans are known to end sessions with a cathartic cry.

D-Nice

Born Derrick Jones,  D-Nice had a moment as a hip-hop  artist in the ’90s that  quickly faded. But  the 49-year-old DJ  reached newfound fame streaming his live Club Quarantine sets from his downtown L.A. apartment, drawing hundreds of thousands of stay-at-home revelers, including Rihanna, Oprah Winfrey, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Michelle Obama. The funk-and-soul-heavy playlists are more than a sonic escape—they’re an act of communal transcendence against all odds.

Zack Fox

A previously undersung L.A. comedian and internet provocateur, Fox, 29, racked up more than 300,000 views with a stone-faced parody—which made perfect use of Three 6 Mafia’s “Slob on My Knob”—of Gal Gadot’s viral-for-all-the-wrong-reasons “Imagine” sing-along.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B98XjQ7AK9X/

Juan Delcan and  Valentina Izaguirre 

The local artist couple, based in View Park-Windsor Hills, illuminated the power of social distancing with their “Safety Match” viral video, in which animated matches light up in a row until one of them steps out of the way. Viewed roughly a million times, the contemporary art piece achieved what no government PSA could.

Alison Roman

The New York Times cooking writer (and native Angeleno), 34, had already achieved food-world stardom with two best-selling books before lockdown. Under quarantine, Roman’s simple yet flavor-packed recipes for dishes like caramelized shallot pasta—and her unfussy-but-particular Brooklyn boho banter—have become required reading and eating. Roman went from darling to pariah in May when controversial comments she made about Chrissy Teigen and Marie Kondo went viral. If only shallots made you immune to Twitter backlash.

Ina Garten

More than 3 million people on Instagram watched the tranquil Barefoot Contessa, 72, demonstrate how she keeps her “favorite tradition,” the cocktail hour, alive under desperate conditions. The Food Network star has been a rightfully beloved figure for nearly two decades, but her mixing a gigantic cosmo was a hilariously refreshing reminder of what a true treasure she is.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-cJUwUpxbM/

L.A. tap water

You’re not good, we never loved you, and yet without gallons of overpriced filtered alkaline H2O, we’re suddenly overjoyed to guzzle you.

Bidet attachments

After hoarders cleared out the toilet paper aisles, the makers of bidet products began cleaning up with their water-jet-shooting self-cleaning devices. The brand Brondell saw a 300 percent spike in sales, while the cleverly marketed Tushy sold out entirely. The future may be wipe free.

Zoom

The video-conferencing platform—which has raised security concerns and provides the same service as FaceTime, Google Hangouts, and Facebook Messenger—has become a key part of life under quarantine. Zoom stock has jumped more than 100 percent since January.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAAihoslm_O/

The brothers Cuomo

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, 62, has been lionized for leading his state through the darkness. But his cute younger brother, 49-year-old CNN anchor Chris, stole plenty of shine when he  tested positive for  COVID-19 and  without missing a  beat continued hosting  his show in self-isolation from his basement. Despite regular potshots from  right-wing critics, the younger Cuomo managed to come off  as more sincere and urgent than ever. One NYC matchmaker says the duo are topping her “most wanted” list, beating out even the Jonas brothers.

Reply All’s “The Case of the Missing Hit” 

Podcast Reply All delivered a blockbuster with a mind-bending search for a song—which might not exist—that a man says got stuck in his head in the ’90s. A reflection of the unanswered questions inundating our lives, except with far lower stakes, the March episode has sparked a 35 percent increase in the show’s listenership.

Trolls World Tour

Universal’s Trolls sequel, with a bizarre rock-versus-pop premise and a message about cultural appropriation that will likely go over the heads of its intended audience (and perhaps that of star Justin Timberlake), set a record for the biggest debut for a digital release, topping every relevant platform during its opening weekend in April. The $20 two-day rental price seemed steep to some, but to parents with stir-crazy kids it was a bargain.

The Womanizer vibrator

With Tinder hookups on hold, we’re turning inward—and reaching for sex toys. This cheekily marketed device has seen  a 152 percent year-over-year rise in U.S. sales thanks to quarantine orders. Its resonant new slogan for those hungry for pleasure: Stay home.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAp1cWNpQz6/

Sourdough bread 

It’s a cliche at  this point, but  making it ourselves is truly com forting, if not always Tartine level. No wonder more than 100,000 posts have been tagged with #crumbshot on Instagram.

The new class of badass reporters

Journalism is never more important than during a national emergency or the mass dissemination of misinformation. We happen to be living through both. A young crop of reporters in the White House briefing room—including Weijia Jiang of CBS, Kaitlan Collins and Jeremy Diamond of CNN, Yamiche Alcindor of PBS, and Kristin Fisher of Fox News—has resisted President Trump’s theatrical boasting and mugging, pressing for straightforward information and fact-checking on the spot.

Leslie Jordan

The 64-year-old veteran actor from Will  & Grace and American Horror Story has amassed more than 3 million Instagram followers since March as a result of absurdist check-in videos in which he appears to be either very bored or very stoned. Pointing to his DIY painted toenails, he shares: “I messed this one up.” Relatable.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAtA9Nfhat7/

My Year of Rest  and Relaxation 

Ottessa Moshfegh’s  2018 best-selling novel, about a beautiful, lazy, pill-popping  young woman who attempts a yearlong  hibernation in a Manhattan apartment, had  been celebrated at the time of its publication for its dark humor. Now its wit is hailed as beautifully horrific, as evidenced by the literary critics who are circling back to it. Vice declared of the book in one recent headline: “Blacking Out in a Juicy Couture Tracksuit Is a Lockdown Mood.”

The smart bike

Already a cult obsession, Peloton’s $2,245 souped-up stationary bike has never been more covetable as gyms lie dormant. The company’s stock bounced 50 percent in March, leaving an offensive Christmas-ad debacle in the dust. Cheaper competitors are also racing ahead. Echelon, whose bikes start at $839, reported a tenfold increase in sales the same month.

Tushy is a bidet startup which aims to replace toilet paper, Tushy was founded by Miki Agrawal.

0 notes

drippeddaily · 7 years

Text

US Hiphopheads who are open-minded to UK stuff. My full list of links to welcome you. [OC]

EDIT2: THANKS FOR THE LOVE AND INTEREST...

I have compiled this list with sub-sections for any Americans that are curious about the UK rap, grime and trap scenes but the only thing they know about it so far is “the ting goes brrrrrrrraaaaaaap”

I have tried to break it down in to sections so if you like a particular type of rap in the US e.g “story telling,” you may find some songs in here to suit you.

For the UK people, this is not necessarily THE ABSOLUTE BEST list of UK songs or ones that “we get.” I have tried to make this a good mixture of credible English songs but still have some kind of an appeal for an American listener. No newbie American is going to get our slangs or understand the type of characters we have after listening to a few songs. I also want to share as many songs with an official video as possible.

Lastly, my preferred links for all of these will be Youtube but if no Youtube link is available, I will post an Apple Music link. Feel free to manually spotify.

If you like the sound of a certain style or certain artist, message me and I will try and find you similar stuff or albums of work.

Edit: thank you for the feedback. I have added some requests that I have missed.

.........