#and her comment about not being selfish has been stuck in my head ever since she said it

[enmmyheavenscg]

GREETINGS !

Hello everyone, it’s been a while, no?

I’m sorry for the inactivity, but I have not been in the best mental state im afraid.

TW FOR SUI MENTION, CHILD ABUSE [neglect, physical & emotional] , SH, HOSPITALIZATION, HEART ATTACKS & INCEST

Now through out the entire month of June, my mental health has gone downhill. I have shared this a couple times, yes but- I have not shared the full story.

On June 1st, my brother had recently gotten out of the hospital, during the time I had been living with my grandma. My grandma is absolutely horrible- she does nothing but make comments about me aswell as make me uncomfortable.

when my brother had gotten out and I was recently back home, all the attention had been on him- usually, I wouldn’t care and that would make the most sense, Yes but- to completely ignore your own kid- me. It’s the whole family that’s been ignoring me overall, which I don’t even care, it’s been like this my entire life and I hate it.

My mothers behavior hadn’t changed, she had even gotten worst, she’d raise her hand and hurt me- she does not understand how her actions affect me, and after she physically lays her hands on me she acts as if nothing had happened and that everything was normal. Her comments about my body, my health- my everything affects me and she finds it oh so ‘hilarious’ I’ve tried to tell her how I feel and she’s laughed in my face before- I hate this family in everyway.

The worst thing that had happened was when I happened to have a heart attack in call- and she brushed it off like it was nothing- we had also just recently been driving back from the hospital because my brothers stomach was hurting- wow because a kid having a heart attack is less important than a stomach ache-

I don’t mean to be selfish im just ? Angry with her, Angry with the whole world. My body is always in pain yet nobody could ever care, im always suffering . I’ve tried to end it 3 separate times and failed, I’ve relapsed multiple times aswell. I’ve been little so often it makes me feel guilty, Yes I know I’ve said before- ‘there is no such thing as being too little’ but I genuinely want to be big for once- I’ve had to mask being big multiple times and I just hate it, i wanna be a little kid. I want my childhood back. I want my old happy self back, nobody understands me- I don’t even understand me, dude.

June 25th- my brother had been in the hospital again during this time. He’s currently on the day Im writing this (July 10th) out of the hospital! He had been since July 1st. He had been in the hospital for a while during this time but- on June 25th I was heading to my cousins house, Finally. As much as I had fun there I was also extremely

Like- EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

My cousins were there- my cousin who forced me into a relationship with her, made me do uncomfortable things with her was there.. and so was my younger cousin, my younger cousin who would touch me in places I asked her not to, unlike the older cousin, I had genuinely told my mother that my cousin was touching me in places I didn’t want. My mother didn’t believe me, she used to be like ‘oh she’s just a child, she doesn’t know better’ which was just disgusting.

June was just. Absolutely horrible, if I had the chance once again, Id truly end it all. It’s not fair, why does everyone hhab it good but not mme I deserve to be happy, Don’t I?

I’d truly start a fundraiser for myself so I could leave this house but, im stuck here. There is no way in hell I could possibly leave- perhaps when im 18, I’ll have the chance to.

But but- this whole post isn’t about me pitying myself, it is about me taking a break.

I will be going on break Yes, I’ll mostly be on in discord, just won’t be speaking to people much, if you decide to check up on me in discord I’ll probably reply, apologies if not.

I wont be away for long as much as I’ve gone through a lot, I’ll probably take a couple days

I mite take like .. 5 days (on discord and all my social media..) and be back. PLEASE. Please try and reblog this if you can.

Remember to stay safe everyone and that i love you all !

This is Emmy signing off ! Bye bye ! 🩵

[angelguk]

omg so i sent in an ask re angst jock jk n oc ! but then i also realized its highly possible these 2 break up at one point while in uni mostly bc of the "are we dating bc its convenient" kinda dilemma and then it just pushes them apart bc they think theyre losing theirselves while being in such a close relationship,,,cue save ur tears by theweeknd BUT i just know when they grow up a lil bit more, theyll end up together <3

here we go! (the beginning of the end....may be...)

didn’t include save your tears as the soundtrack but may haps for the follow-up :3

pairing: jock!jk and oc

warnings: angst, yes the break-up scene, jaykay being an ass (a very huge one motivated by his own insecurities and selfishness – translation: he’d rather break her heart and carry that weight than be the heartbroken one), chayoung is no longer Seed of Doubt but something else (still up for debate but she’s fairly nice here), not edited but hey atp that’s part of my branding (also i would like everyone to consider that oc is not the greatest gf ever like guys don’t hate jk alone!!)

soundtrack: bags, clairo + stay, gracie abrams + say you know, alina baraz

(titled — honeymoon fades)

Jeongguk’s contact name hasn’t lit up the screen of your phone for six days now and you haven’t seen his face for just as long. It’s weird to go from constant incessant  communication to complete and utter radio silence. Not a single meme deposited in your Instagram inbox, no random notification from his Twitter. Just silence, quiet brewing silence. 

It breaks two days later when Chayoung finds you coddled under your duvet, mouth stuffed with the saccharine sweetness of mint chocolate. (Jeongguk kept a stash of it at your place but who was around to eat it anymore apart from you?). 

“And why do you look like you live in a dumpster?” She’d hummed, ripping open the curtains you’d involuntarily welded shut. 

“Because that’s how I feel inside,” you’d retorted, pushing aside your laptop. The screen is stuck with an image of an idiotic character named Nabi kissing the spawn of Satan. You hope for her sake it works out. Chayoung had huffed at your response, fondly whacking your head with a stray pillow. 

“Well get over that feeling cause we’re going out tonight.” A declaration, the fierceness in her feline eyes a warning that you’re not allowed to even think of saying no. That doesn’t mean you hadn’t tried – sorrowful eyes and pouted lips as you begged her to spare you. But Chayoung is a force of nature, one that could easily wreak havoc on your delicateness. And she does though, with a string of comments that propels you out of the miserable burrow you’d dug up. 

“You’re killing everyone, you know?” She’d supplied, yanking open your closet. “You’re sulking, Jeongguk is shutting down. He’s said like five words since this whole...thing...you have going on.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff at that, toying with the corner of the large grey shirt donned on your body. Jeongguk’s shirt. One of his favourites actually. You’d thought about stealing it after spying it on his obsessively neat laundry pile, but after seeing your wandering eyes he’d given it to you instead. 

“He always does that,” you’d said after Chayoung had whipped her head in your direction, curved eyebrows perplexed. “I mean, shut down. It’s his emotional response to things that bother him. Complete detachment so it hurts less.”

She had just stared at you, a long meaningful look at left your skin prickled. 

“Huh.”

“What do you mean ‘huh’?”

A measured step forward, her body weight sinking into the edge of your mattress a moment later. “I mean, you know him so well.”

“Of course I do he’s my best-friend,” you’d said, indignation coating your words

“No–No you're not getting me. You know him. You know he wouldn’t make the move to reconcile–”

“But he should!”

“You told him to go away! He’s trying to listen to you even though he’s hurting!”

And maybe that was it, that simple implication that you were causing him pain that had you pausing, reviewing the things you’d said to him – the things you’d felt. 

“But,” a timid rebuttal, “I just–I just need him to show me that he cares.”

“He does,” Chayoung had returned. “So much. And he misses you. He’s probably just afraid that you don’t feel the same.”

“But I do! He knows this.”

“Does he?” A question in her eyes, one that you’re afraid you know the honest answer to. 

You say things and never mean them, he had said, eyes hard.

That had hurt you but perhaps he was right, there are things you hadn’t told him, feelings you hadn’t truly expressed. And Jeongguk had always been good to you, so understanding and caring, trying to fill the places were you lacked. Wasn’t he the one who planned the majority of your dates? Remembered all the important milestones of your relationship while you contributed the bare minimum. You hadn’t even told Chayoung about the surprise he had planned for your one-year anniversary, the shame of your own choice hanging heavy over your head. 

So that’s why you’re here, staring at the back of his head forlornly as the music drifts around you, flashing florescent lights bathing him a hazy glory. He hasn’t seen you yet (something you’re thankful for because oddly enough you feel sick to your stomach). It feels like you’re skating on thin ice, waiting for the impending crack to sound through your heart, ice water swallowing you whole immediately. Chayoung is the one who pushes you forward, gingerly plucking the idle drink from your hand, Jimin aiding her efforts with a soft smile your way. 

It’s time for you to try the way Jeongguk has, put aside that bumbling ego that oversees your actions and adopt the humility he’s always granted you.

“Go,” she murmurs. “He misses you.”

And God you hope he does because you’ve missed him too. 

Except the moment his honey eyes land on you you know he hasn’t.

“Jeongguk,” you mumble. Yoonoh is frozen beside him, concerned gaze flicking between your faces. Your own eyes are stuck on him, the shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the subtle hint of the dimple in his cheeks. 

You’ve missed him, and it slips from your heart and brims in your eyes, vision blurry as your blink those stray tears back inside. 

“Hi,” you add, when his silence doesn’t break.

“I should probably go,” Yoonoh lets out, awkward words bumping into the wall of tension standing firm between you to. He settles a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, sending him a look that feels loaded. “See you guys later, right?”

You nod, finally noticing the lump clogging your throat. “Yeah, sure.” Jeongguk just hums, the edge of his cup caught between his lips. Yoonoh flees within seconds, leaving you to wade through this alone. 

“I–I know you’re not happy with me right now, but please, can we just talk?” He blinks at you, it feels like a premonition. “Please?”

“Okay.” The simple word fills you, like a hollow you weren’t aware of finally found the cure needed. 

“Okay,” a small smile on your lips. Jeongguk’s face is still unreadable. He guides you up and away from the deafening sound of the song bleeding from the speakers, into an empty room, the door closing behind him muting the music and giving way to the own pounding in your head. Nobody says anything for a second, both of you navigating this uncharted territory of animosity. Until Jeongguk sighs, melting into the bed at the centre of the room. You follow suit, allocating enough space between the two of you. You’ve ever had to do that before.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Jeongguk finally cuts through it, eyes unforgiving when he glances at you.

“I did! I do–Just Jeongguk,” you can’t help it drifting out. “I miss you.”

Nothing, not even a flicker in his eyes. He eyes shift to the floor instead. “Okay. I that what you wanted to say?”

“No–No not just that! I’ve missed you Jeongguk and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that i went off on you like that and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best towards you and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t care about you–or made you feel like the things I said or did had no meaning behind them. Because they do–they do because I love you. I love you so so much and I’m sorry if I made it seem like otherwise.” You automatically extend out for him, hoping to grasp on his thing floating to fast away from you. Jeongguk shifts and you hand tumbles down to the empty space between you instead, halted by his hesitance. 

His head drops into his palms a second later, a broken exhale leaving his lips. The motion cause the silver bracelet on his wrist to slip down the length of his arm. It jolts something in you. Jeongguk had given you a matching one but you’d ripped it off after the last argument and hadn’t considered putting it back on. But Jeongguk was still wearing his. 

“Do you really?”

“What?” He’s staring at you know, doe eyes cloudy.

“Do you really love me?” There, that stupid evil vile question that you thought you had the answer to but the words vanish in your head the longer he looks at you.

“I do–what? What are you implying? Of course, I do.”

“Of course, you do,” Jeongguk echoes. His eyes turn to the window located over his shoulder. You can see his head working through something, and you’re suddenly terrified fingertips itching to wander through his curls and coax those thoughts from his head. 

“Jeongguk? What the hell are you talking about? Talk to me, please.”

He sighs again, at it feels like your heart splinters. A sudden shake of his head and Jeongguk twists back to face you, a silent tear falling down his cheek.

“You don’t love me.”

“Wh–What are you talking about? I do! And how can you decide my feelings for me?”

“No. You don’t love me the way you think you do–the way you should.” It feels like he’s saying it to more than you, like he’s saying it to himself. “Maybe this the wrong choice to make. You know. Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.”

You shatter just like that, shards on the floor as you stare him, this person that you thought you knew. And maybe the feeling is mutual because Jeongguk is staring at you in a similar way, searching for the courage to say the words you know lie in his heart. Like a loaded cannon, waiting for the match to strike and leave you lying in pieces. 

“I think we should break–"

“No,” you cut him off with an adamance that you didn’t know existed until right then. “No, you’re not gonna say that and we are not doing this.”

His eyes narrow then, jaw set. “This is not about ‘us’, I’m doing what’s right for me.”

“How is that right? Huh, Jeongguk? Don’t you care about this? Don’t you care about me?”

He looks away then, ignoring your questions, his throat stuck. 

“Jeongguk...” You reach out again, and he allows it, shoulders sinking with the weight of your hand on them. “Don’t you care about me?”

Another heavy exhale, his eyes blinking hard. “I do. And that’s why this won’t work, not the way it should at least. I really think we should end this, or at least reconsider the reasons why we’re together. You say you love me–you say you always have but really–really think about it. About me and us and what we are. I’m sorry, I really am but I just can’t do this anymore.”

He rises then, your outstretched hand tumbling down to the empty space he’d left behind. You can’t move it, can’t breathe, your heart hurtling out of your chest and onto the ground where it lies, fragmented beyond repair and bleeding bare. You glance up through tears, watch him open his mouth and then it and look away. 

“Do you mean it?” You finally ask, and his eyes snap to you. He knows what you’re saying. There’s a pause that stretches out for eternity, coloured by the sound of the ringing in your head.

“Maybe.” It cuts right through you, lodging itself deep with intent. And then you just have to nod, swallow the scream clawing at your throat. He murmurs one more apology before his feet carry him away, and you watch, forlorn as you burn his frame into your memory, as your whole world walks out the door.

[ysljoon]

Lunchbox Friends|Park Jimin x Reader

This fanfic is mature so please avoid if you are not 18+. This is also a yandere fic so there are sensitive topics.

Warnings: Drinking/mentions of alcohol, partying, oral sex (f receiving), assault (Jungkook gets punched by Jimin), choking, noncon sex, Jimin is a peeping tom, masturbation, creampie. threats, mentions of a knife

Jimin had been by your side since middle school and you guys have been stuck together by the hip since then and refuse to separate. You don’t ever plan on living your life without him as he has seen you at your highest highs and your lowest lows. He knows you inside and out and you wouldn’t want this any other way. It wasn’t until you guys went to college that you realized your friendship had overstepping boundaries. It wasn’t noticeable to you until your friends pointed it out to you and even then you were still in denial. Why would your best friend suddenly not look out for you? It just didn’t make sense to you and you wanted to push it out of your mind.

Tonight was Hoseok and Jungkook’s party and you felt the whole campus buzzing with excitement. You were never close with Hoseok, but you had a few run-ins with Jungkook since he was friends with Jimin and Jimin had introduced him to you. Jungkook seemed like a sweet person and you had your eye on him for a while so you thought tonight was the perfect night to make your move on him. Once your classes were done you took the shuttle to your shared apartment with Jimin to get your outfit ready for tonight. When you reached the apartment you saw Jimin on the couch just watching TV.

“Y/N! You’re back, come give me a hug I missed you!” You dropped your bag by the couch and collapsed in his lap. He attacked you with tight hugs and kisses on the top of your head. Your friendship is very close and touchy, but this is just what happens after years of friendship so boundaries were very few and far between. You snuggled in his lap and scrolled on your phone to kill time and he continued to watch some drama filled reality show that he constantly loved to watch.

As time passed you realized it was an hour before the party so you tried to get up from Jimin’s lap but he wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you down. “Y/N can’t we just stay here for the night you can have so much fun with just me! We don’t need to go to some dumb party to have fun on a Friday.” Jimin whined, but you pried yourself from his arms and made your way to the bathroom to shower. You stepped in the shower and played music to get you in a hype mood to be in the party mindset. You were singing your heart out and didn’t hear the bathroom door creak open to create a slight opening that allowed your body to be exposed to prying eyes. Those prying eyes belonged to Jimin and you were unsuspecting of the fact.

Jimin ogled your naked body in the shower through the steamy glass panes and it started to make his pants tighten. Jimin started to palm himself while admiring the curves of your ass and breasts. You were in the middle of shampooing your hair, your bottle of body wash fell off the shelf and you bent over to pick it up and that had Jimin groaning from pleasure. He unbuttoned his pants and slid his underwear down enough where he could fist his cock with ease. He filthily spit into his hand and rubbed his dick slowly to not build up to his orgasm too quickly. You started to sway your hips back and forth to the rhythm of the upbeat song in your playlist. This had you looking so sexy in Jimin’s eyes. He wasn’t only getting off on how good your soapy body looked in the shower, but also the thrill of knowing he’s jerking off to his best friend who doesn't know how much he wants to ruin her right on the spot. Jimin hurriedly came to his orgasm when he realized you were almost done with your shower and hurried to his room when he stroked out his high.

You finished getting ready and slipped on a tight dress. You slipped on your shoes and waited for Jimin on the couch. After 10 minutes of impatience you knocked on his door and he swung it open after the second knock. “It really surprises me how impatient you are, it’s a wonder how I’ve tolerated you for this long.” You just rolled your eyes in response and grabbed his hand to leave.

Once you enter the house party you notice both Hoseok and Jungkook talking in the kitchen. Just seeing Jungkook brought butterflies to your tummy. Before you made your way to the men you found the table filled with bottles of drinks and poured yourself about two shots worth of fireball and downed it in one big gulp. You needed liquid courage if you wanted to make any progress with Jungkook tonight. Jimin watched you with wide eyes at your sudden behavior and you just gave him a wide smile while you made your strides to the kitchen. Jimin stood in his spot dumbfounded on how easily you left him. It irked him and made him feel disposable. He tried to brush off the feeling but it loomed over him for the rest of the night. He followed the direction you traveled to and saw you talking to Jungkook. You were giggling to no end and your cheeks were so round from how much you were smiling. This whole night bothered Jimin as he expected to spend it with you and only true. He walked away from the scene and moped on the couch while watching the party go down. If he continued to watch you throw yourself at his friend he would end up doing something he would regret.

“Y/N I’m surprised we haven’t properly hung out, you’re so much fun outside of class!” You rolled your eyes at his comment and poured yourself another mixed drink. The drinks helped you and Jungkook start to get cozy with each other. Hoseok even left you two alone when he noticed the atmosphere start to change between you two. Somehow the two of you managed to get rid of any space between each other and were now in close enough proximity to be skin to skin. The two of you were drunk enough to be bold but also not drunk enough to forget what happens if your actions don’t work in your favor. You started to eye his lips and Jungkook noticed because he started to come closer to you and get rid of the already nonexistent space between you two. Slowly your lips started to mold together and your stomach felt like there were fireworks bursting inside you. The two of you pulled away and Jungkook kept his hand on the small of your back. “Y/N, I hope you take me up on this offer or I’ll feel like a total idiot, but do you want to go up to my room and continue?” You were quick to agree and fervently nodded. Jungkook gave you a grin and took your hand in his and you two were quick to go up the stairs to his room.

Jimin saw you two go up the stairs and now he was livid. His best friend ditched him to go get fucked by his friend. You were selfish and he was going to make you regret your decision of being such a whore in front of him. He downed his drink and rushed up the stairs to Jungkook’s room. He swung open the door to find you completely naked and Jungkook’s head between your thighs. Oh how he wishes it was him instead. You looked at JImin mortified and crawled under Jungkook’s bedsheet with haste. Jungkook came close to your side and held your shaking body. “J-Jimin you could’ve at least knocked or something!” You were borderline angry at this point as Jimin wasn’t taking any hint to leave. Jimin took it upon himself to invite himself further into the room and locked the door behind himself. Now Jungkook was starting to get agitated. “Bro you’re my friend and all, but I really think you should go right now. I wasn’t doing anything to your best friend that she doesn’t want.” Jimin was furious to hear Jungkook’s words and in a blind fit of rage he punched Jungkook out cold and watched his body drop to the floor with a loud thud. “Jimin! What on Earth are you doing?” Now you really were scared as you have never seen Jimin act out so violently.

“Y/N, you have no idea how much I want you and have fantasized about you. Now you’re going to see tonight how I’ll make you mine!” He grabbed you by your throat and threw you down on the bed. You started to strain yourself to get any chance to breathe, but any chance you got Jimin held onto your throat tighter. He had a sinister look on his face and you were scared for your life. When your vision started to go in and out from darkness Jimin released his grasp on you and you dry heaved for oxygen. He did that just to put you in a weakened state and he used it to his advantage. He crawled on the bed and loomed over your body and grabbed your legs to drag you closer to him. He tried to force his head between your thighs but you clamped them together but he managed to pry them open. He gave you a hard slap on the back of your thigh. “Princess you won’t like me if you disobey me and fight back so just please just let me love you.” Jimin tried to give you a soft look, but you can still see the darkness embedded into his eyes. You forced yourself to comply without making eye contact. The idea of your best friend was gone and you would do anything to have him back and not have this monster in front of you.

Jimin lowered his head down to your core and gave you kitten licks on your clit. You felt so much sensitivity and you clamped your legs around his head. You felt Jimin let out a light chuckle and you tried to block the sound out of your mind. You tried to make the situation better for yourself by imagining that it was just Jungkook above you instead of Jimin taking advantage of you. Once Jimin had his fill of eating you out he lifted himself up and freed himself from his pants. Once he had his cock out he shoved himself into your tight, wet cunt with no mercy and you gripped onto the sheets with a vice grip. “Kitten, don't you love how my fat cock feels in your hole? Don’t I make you feel so good.” You had your eyes shut trying to acclimatize to his cock, but the pain was taking too long to subside. Without even getting a chance to answer, Jimin grabbed your jaw to make you look at him. “Y/N, I want an answer. Tell me how good I make you feel.” You felt so embarrassed, but you just needed to give him an answer to please him. “Y-yes you make me feel so good! “ Jimin loved how his cock looked sliding in and out of your pussy and how your tits bounced and that it brought him close to his orgasm. You felt his grip get tighter on your hips and you felt his thrusts get rougher and his groans get louder. You knew he reached his high when you felt his hips stutter and his cum start to leak out from your hole. Once he was out of you he got dressed like what just happened was not troubling. You stared at the ceiling and felt the tears drip down your cheeks. Just when you thought it was all over Jimin’s body was above you again and this time he had a pocket knife pressed to your throat. “If you ever try to get with Jungkook or anyone else I will kill you. You are mine and only mine you need to know that.”

Notes: I hope you guys are currently enjoying the start of my yandere series! I will eventually get to all the members. I am also working on making a masterlist so in the mean time if you would like to find my other works you can find them under the tag ‘bts fanfiction’ or ‘bts fanfic’ if you search my page! Again if you liked what you read please leave a like and a reblog it really helps! You can also give me a Kofi if you would like to help support my work!

[rowanaelinn]

Fire on Fire - Chapter five.

chapter four // chapter six

As the days merged into weeks, a routine settled in.

Aelin alternated between college, her work as TA, homework, cheer practice, her work at the bar and she didn’t have a moment to herself. She liked it that way. She knew how to manage many things at once, has been doing it for years, but she didn’t know how to handle boredom. These moments where you did nothing and you started thinking about everything in your life? Aelin didn’t know how to handle that.

For the first time in a month, Aelin had a night to herself. And instead of spending it to sleep as her body begged her to, she and Lysandra organized a party. Nothing too much, just some of their friends, music, and alcohol.

She was in the kitchen, pouring herself a drink as she talked with Chaol and Dorian. They had brought their roommate but Aelin had no idea where he was, and to be honest she didn’t really care. “I’m not joking, she knocked at our door at two in the morning.”

Aelin laughed at the situation Dorian was describing. “Well, you got to give her points for her determination.” She poured a drink to Chaol and he smiled warmly at her.

“So, how’s life here?” Dorian asked and Aelin shrugged. They had spent a lot of time together lately, they just didn’t speak much.

“Nice.”

“Nice? That’s it?” Lysandra joined them, sitting on the kitchen counter. “What about that roommate of yours, Rowan?”

“Please,” Lysandra huffed. “They’ve been giving each other the silent treatment for a month now. It’s even worse than when they yelled at each other.”

“That bad?” Dorian laughed and Aelin rolled her eyes.

“I remember a year ago, we were partying and suddenly everyone heard you scream. I turned around to see where you were and you threw your drink at his face.” Chaol laughed and she did too, remembering that night.

“You complained when we always argued and now you complain because we ignore each other. You’re so annoying.”

“It’d be okay if you were just ignoring each other. But if looks could kill, you would have killed each other long ago. I hope you realize that everyone notices.”

“What are you even doing here? Stop sleeping with my cousin.” Aelin said and Lysandra barked a laugh. She winked and wiggled her brows and Aelin had to stop thinking about them. Lysandra always had a crush on Aedion, Aelin knew that. But she wasn’t used to seeing Lysandra hanging out in this house, not to be with her but because she was with Aedion. Well, technically they weren’t together. They slept together and both of them were stupid enough not to realize the other’s feelings.

Fenrys came behind Aelin and put an arm around her shoulder. She tried to get out of his grip but he was too strong. “You four, stop isolating yourself and come play with us.”

“Depends, I’m too drunk for Twister.” It was an understatement, she barely could keep her legs from falling. She was too drunk for everything, but she liked it. With the right number of drinks, her brain stopped processing things, that’s exactly what she needed.

“Being drunk is what makes Twister worthy, Ace. But no, what about seven minutes in heaven?” He wiggled his brows and Aelin was ecstatic.

“I love seven-minute in heaven!” She almost screamed and Fenrys laughed at her enthusiasm.

“I would know,” Dorian said and she stuck her tongue at her friend, it just made them laugh harder.

“That was an awful first kiss.”

“You’re joking? We found you making out again an hour after the game.” Lysandra laughed. It had happened when they were fifteen and Aelin didn’t have a lot of memories of that night. Actually, she didn’t have a lot of memories from her teenage years.

“That’s a story I want to hear,” Fenrys said, always curious about everyone’s life.

“That’s nothing, wait until I tell you about that time she played with Rhys-”

“Stop!” Aelin screamed, throwing a spoon at her friend for him to shut up. She didn’t know what he wanted to say and that’s what worried her. She decided her brain made her forget for a reason other than alcohol, as stupid as it was.

“Rhys like Rhysand Night?” Fenrys asked, surprised.

“Yeah, Dorian and I have been friends with him and his brothers for ages now.”

Their parents all knew each other and the five of them kept meeting at parties. And while Dorian and Aelin tried to avoid the spotlight as much as they could since they turned eighteen, the three brothers left for Velaris and became either musicians or actors. Gods, she hadn’t seen them in ages now. She missed these idiots.

“You’re coming to play?” Fenrys asked and they all joined him in the living room. There weren't enough seats so Aelin just sat on Dorian’s lap. Aedion sent them a furious look but didn't comment, Aelin just rolled her eyes. Lysandra made the bottle turn and of course, it fell on Aedion. Aelin decided not to read too much on the look in her cousin’s eyes and just took another shot, ignoring them.

“Ten bucks we find them half-naked,” Lorcan said and Aelin laughed, remembering another time when she had a similar bet about her cousin. She turned her head but Lysandra wasn’t there, neither was the others. Her heart clenched at this feeling of loneliness even if she was in a room full of people.

Instead of thinking too much into it, she took another shot. When she looked in front of her, Rowan Whitethorn was watching her, a disapproving frown on his face.

------

Rowan wondered why he was still looking at her when she drowned a third shot. This time her eyes didn’t leave his as she drank and she winked, leaning more into Dorian Havillard’s embrace.

He didn’t know why he had to clench his fist to avoid shaking, why seeing her now made him so angry. He had been angry all the time since that conversation a month ago, and not at her. He was sure he would wake up the morning after by Lysandra stabbing him, but none of that.

Aelin didn’t tell anyone what happened in the bathroom, and it made him so angry at her.

It made him angry that she didn’t cry to her friend and cousin the day after, asking them to defend her, like Rowan thought she would. No, the morning after she looked nothing like the woman he found in the bathroom, she didn’t look half-dead as she did the night before. No signs of the breakdown.

It made a small part of his head wonder how many times she had been in this state and nobody ever noticed. But he liked to ignore this part of him and focus on the anger.

He was glad of it as he watched Dorian’s arm curl around her waist and her arm around his shoulders. They both laughed as he held his drink to her lips, making her drink everything. Rowan finished his first drink, clearly not as drunk as the two in front of him were.

He had no idea what they were for each other, they acted like friends. Close friends, yes, but still friends. But Rowan had heard too much these past four weeks. Heard how there wasn’t any actual work every time he came here to study.

He hated her for it, hated her for being selfish and not caring about the noise. He also hated himself for noticing Dorian came here to study every time Rowan could see Aelin’s eyes lined with silver, see how her smile was a little too forced, or how her hands shook. Things that didn’t seem to be noticed by anyone else.

He hated himself for noticing, even though he tried not to, that there was no pleasure on her part. But he was probably reading too much into it, why would she keep doing it, then?

When he finally looked away from her, he found Lorcan looking at him, a weird look in his eyes. Rowan arched a brow in a silent question but his friend just looked away and joined a conversation with Fenrys.

When Aedion and Lysandra got out of the closet after Vaughan knocked on the door, Rowan fought a grin on his face at the look on Aedion’s face. He silently waved his pants so that he noticed that his zipper was open. The smile on Aedion's face did not falter as he fixed it, Rowan rolled his eyes.

“Your turn, Ace,” Lysandra said as she sat down next to her friend. Rowan found his new drink more interesting than the blonde girl turning a bottle.

“Fuck,” Dorian said.

“You’re kidding me,” it was Lorcan’s turn to speak.

Rowan looked up when Fenrys burst out laughing and his heart stopped. That fucking bottle pointed toward him. What had he done to the Gods for them to hate him so much? “do it again” He groaned. Why did he even agree to play this stupid game? He thought the worst that could happen would be being stuck with Fenrys, totally forgetting about her.

“Scared to spend time with me, Whitethorn?” Aelin arched a brow, a small smirk on her face. Rowan suddenly hated that part of him that was too proud to back down from a challenge.

“Get in that damn closet already,” He said, standing up and walking toward it, not caring if she followed or not.

When she closed the door after her, Rowan started counting in his head. Surely, seven minutes wasn't that long.

The closer was way too small for Rowan’s taste, he could feel her body brushing his in many places. “I didn’t know being so close to me disgusted you, Whitethorn.” She said after thirty-six seconds.

“So you speak, now?”

“What? You missed me?” She asked, voice full of fake sweetness. The dim light let him see her eyes fixed on him, he fought a shudder at the intensity of her gaze.

He huffed a laugh. “You wish, princess. This past month has been better than the last two years.”

“I know, living right next to me is such a delight.”

He clenched his jaw, fighting the urge of groaning at her for the way she twisted his words. She laughed softly, her breath tickling the skin of his throat. “You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?” It was better to attack her with his words than to focus on his body’s reaction to her proximity.

She made a low noise as if she was thinking very hard about her answer. “I am not, just realistic. Have you seen me? I’m amazing.”

“I don’t even think you believe that yourself,” he stated and it was true. You just had to try to see more than the facade she kept in front of everyone to see it. Rowan was surprised no one had made comments on it. He wondered if everyone noticed and decided to not say anything, as Rowan did, or if they really were that blind.

“You know nothing about me.”

“You are not hard to figure out, princess.” Lie, Rowan was a liar. It was so damn hard to find a reason for everything she did, to explain why she hid everything about her real emotions.

“Is that why you hate me so much? Because I am so easy to read?”

“You’re not important enough for me to hate you,” He said, voice low as he looked at her eyes. They were objectively beautiful, everyone would agree on that. The ring of gold around her pupil always seemed to catch fire whenever she was angry, it was his favorite part about her eyes.

What the hell happened to him? He didn’t have any favorite part of her.

She laughed softly, shifting to be more comfortable but it just brought her closer to him. He couldn’t keep his groan to himself this time, apparently for Aelin’s delight.

“You know what I think?” She asked, raising herself on her tiptoes. “You can’t stop thinking about me.” She was almost as tall as him this way, she put her hands on his shoulders to stay stable, and even if he should have brushed her hands away, he didn’t. “I think you want me, and it’s not me you hate, but yourself for wanting me.” Her thumb brushed his neck and held in the noise that threatened to come out at that touch. “I think that maybe it even makes you feel a little bit dirty to want me, and you both love and hate it.”

He pushed her to the wall, putting both of his hands on the wall on both sides of her head, blocking her from any movement. He lowered himself slightly, his lips close to her ear. Somewhere in the back of his mind, something whispered that she was right, but he ignored it. Focusing on his anger, that’s how he had always kept people at bay these past ten years. “Tell me Aelin,” he started using one of his hands to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear, brushing with the tip of his fingers the sensitive spot of her skin right behind it. “Why would I want a coward?” Her whole body tensed at this and he was happy with himself.

“Shut up.”

He laughed softly, still murmuring in her ear. “Don’t like that word? Because that’s what you are, Aelin. A coward. You always run away the second it becomes hard.” He had seen Aedion take his car and go pick her up from wherever she called for help too many times. He remembered Aedion having to drive out of the damn city because she had left, and it didn’t happen only once either.

Before he could say what was in his mind she pushed him off her, with more strength than he knew she had. “Fuck you.”

“You’re just proving me right.”

“I have nothing to prove to a bastard like you.” She spat and left, slamming the door behind her. Rowan took a minute to sigh, thinking about what he said. That was true, she always ran away, but he wasn’t better. And he noticed how she struggled, he might as well have kicked a man already down.

------------

Aelin smiled at Dorian as she came back, hiding the fire inside of her. Everyone arched a brow, she knew it had been less than seven minutes but she would have killed him if she had stayed one more minute with that bastard.

“Will we find his dead body in the closet?” Lorcan asked, and surprisingly enough that sounded like… a joke. She might have answered in the same tone as him, might have joked with him, had Rowan not ruined her mood for the night.

“Want to be next?” She arched a brow and didn’t wait for an answer, taking Dorian’s hand and making him stand up. She didn’t comment to anyone as she dragged him up the stairs and pushed his back on the wall, not wanting to kiss him.

She needed to feel something other than that consuming rage, and needed the distraction. Dorian didn’t wait before kissing her back hungrily. His hands found her ass and pressed her closer to him. He didn’t need to bother with soft, loving, touch. It wasn’t a part of their agreement, it was just sex. Nothing else.

They had slept together twice in their teenage years even if she didn’t remember it, too high and drunk to remember anything, but they had started again three months ago. He had gotten mad at her for sleeping with however she could, telling her it was unsafe. But even if she never told him why she did it, Aelin was sure he understood. So he had told her to sleep with him instead.

It was his own way to help her, knowing he couldn’t do much else. If Aelin thought about it long enough she would cry of shame and fondness for her friend, but she didn’t think about it. It was the whole point of it, not thinking.

“Shit, sorry,” a voice interrupted them and Aelin looked surprised at Dorian and Chaol’s roommate. “I was looking for the bathroom but I couldn’t find it.”

“Downstairs,” Aelin said, breathless. “There’s only my room and my roommate’s room here.” She said but the mention of him just relieved the flame in her. The flame that begged to burn everything she tried to keep safe inside her. He nodded and smiled, walking past them.

“I’m not going home tonight, Chaol will drive you back. Is it okay with you, Cairn?” Dorian asked and when Cairn nodded and left, Dorian kissed her again.

As he took off her clothes, she focused on the feeling of him, Dorian, her friend, on her.

When his fingers found her core and started getting her ready for him, she fought against the voices in her head. You are a coward.

And as Dorian took a condom and entered her, she closed her eyes. He thrust into her hard, the way she liked it. He kissed her neck, breast, and lips. Trust me, Aelin, you will like it. She bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to hear him. She moaned Dorian’s name as he gave her a particularly hard thrust. Let me show you what a real man can do. She shut everything out, moaning too loudly to hear anything else.

As she and Dorian climaxed, they were both breathless. He disposed of the condom and fell on the bed next to her, not hugging her but staying close to her. After a while, Dorian’s breathing calmed and she knew he fell asleep.

Aelin stood up and took a long, hot, shower. Washing away the touch of anyone on her skin. And as she often did, she wondered how long she would keep living that way. She had given up the hope of recovery a long time ago. but she still hoped that one day the pain would ease.

------------------------------------

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[pigeonp0st]

hi! I'm new to tumblr so sorry if I request wrong or something but could you do a natasha x reader where the reader is natasha's secret girlfriend and the team finds out? You can take it in whatever direction you want but some ideas are them almost breaking up because one of them doesn't want to tell the team or the team being surprised that the reader is the opposite of Natasha in a lot of ways or the team finding out after one of them casually lets it slip in conversation. Thank you!

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #4

Words: 1,569

Warnings: I don’t think there’s any?

Notes:

Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy! (Sorry for spelling mistakes! Looking for them is something I despise to do.)

———-

Natasha is captivating, you’ve come to realize.

You knew it before, when the two of you were just partners and friends, but now—now it shines in the brightest of ways.

Natasha is captivating. She’s captivating to you like watching your favorite character in a TV show, or like honey is to bees, or like the ocean is at first to baby turtles trying to make their way to safety.

Natasha is also safety...which in hindsight probably makes you the turtle, and since you’re the turtle—the Avengers are the birds trying to eat you.

(Yes, this is a messed up analogy.)

Instead of rushing through the birds and taking risk—the risk being coming forward about your relationship with Natasha—you’ve decided to hide in the sand, away from everything scary..and really, so be it if you starve because of it.

Natasha thinks the whole turtle and bird analogy is dramatic, but she says, looking concerned and slightly confused, the ocean and the turtle one is sort of, weirdly, sweet.

Then she says, hesitantly like she’s not sure if she’s understanding properly, “if the birds are keeping you from the ocean—me—then, I mean, you aren’t with me right? You aren’t safe.”

It takes you a couple of long moments to catch what she’s saying, but once you do you slump into bed besides her to curse into the pillow, and for the rest of that night Natasha distracts you with food and movies.

———

You think about the conversation two weeks later and realize that Natasha isn’t safe either. These people, these Avengers, they’re her family. They’re the people who have accepted her, and if this is the one thing they can’t accept—if you loving her, and her loving you in return is the one thing they can’t accept about her—well...it’ll ruin her.

You don’t want the relationship the two of you have to be the thing that ruins her. Even the thought of it, of being the reason she loses something so vital to her...it makes you feel nauseous.

Thus...stuck between a rock and a hard place (a really fucking suffocating rock), sitting in the empty kitchen at six am in the morning, is where you vow to do your best to hide your relationship; for her, but also for you.

It’ll be hard but you have to TRY, because the other option is…

It’s Plan B.

———

There’s a weight on your shoulders that wasn’t there before, and it keeps feeling like it’s getting heavier and heavier, and you just—

Fuck. You just want to love. Why does it feel like you’re hiding and scared more than not. Why does it feel like Natasha’s happiness rests upon your ability to be discreet?

And yeah, maybe you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself but also maybe you’re not, because all it takes is one wrong move. One wrong move.

...maybe Plan A is selfish. Plan B is safer...but sometimes she looks at you with this softness on her face that just...makes you feel selfish.

You can’t break up with her. Plan A will work for as long as it has to, because it has to.

———

Plan A fails.

It’s your fault.

You and Peter are sitting on the couch chatting, with half of the Avengers scattered around the room, and Peter says, distraughtly, “I know you haven’t dated someone for a long time but i’d like for you to help me ask out this girl I like.”

Without thinking you quirk an eyebrow at him and say, “who said I wasn’t dating anyone?” and then proceed to completely freeze when your brain catches up to what you’ve said.

Peter tilts his head at you, confused, “you’re dating someone?”

There’s too much anxiety in your forced out, “NO,” and is everyone looking at you? It feels like everyone is looking at you.

Wanda is instantly intrigued, along with the other Avengers, and though you are using every fiber in your being to not look at Natasha you know she’s looking at you too.

Wanda asks, smiling comfortingly, “who are you dating?” Like your no was a yes, and maybe that’s exactly what it sounded to them.

There’s multiple things you could say to respond to her question. Smarter things then what you actually end up saying, but your brain is full of anxiety, and your heart is much too loud, and the only thing you can think of is to protect Natasha anyway you can, so you force out, trying to keep your voice as even as possible;

“A girl I met online.”

There’s immediate quiet. Your eyes are shut tightly because you can’t bring yourself to see their faces, you can’t bring yourself to see Natasha’s face, because holy fuck. You’re scared. You’re so scared. You’re doing this for her, so she knows how they feel, but why does it have to ruin you instead.

“Y/N?” Wanda says, placing an arm on your hand. Your eyes immediately snap open. Hers are apologetic and concerned. “Breathe.”

That’s when you notice your hyperventilating.

You feel arms wrapping around you from behind and you just immediately know who it is. What is she doing? What is Natasha doing? You don’t look at her, you’re afraid your eyes will give away to much, but you hear Natasha whisper in your ear—her voice so even it’s obvious she’s forcing it not to tremble;

“It’s okay, okay? You’re okay. Look at their faces.”

You do. They all look concerned, and a bit confused.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, laughing bitterly. Natasha’s arms tighten around your torso.

(What is she doing? You’re trying to save her.)

They all look at each other, uncertain, and then finally Steve asks gently, “what’s her name?”

It’s the moment the weight falls off your shoulder. (It’s the moment where the turtle realizes that there’s not actually birds around, and that the turtle isn’t actually a turtle. It’s a human, with a family that loves unwaveringly.)

“Her name…” you pause, eyes growing watery, “uh…”

“Her name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova, otherwise known as Natasha Romanoff,” Natasha says, meeting Steve’s gaze directly, and then the rest of the Avengers. Even Peter. She looks defensive, but not of herself, of you. She’s behind you, but it feels like she’s shielding you like you were trying to shield her.

Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be needed.

Most of the Avengers look shocked, others look unsurprised (Tony hands Wanda some cash). Some of them looked more shocked when you said it was a person you met online.

Well.

“So...are you going to tell me how to ask out the girl I like now?” Peter asks, his voice unsure.

Natasha looks to be about to say something snarky but you squeeze her hand to silence her and grin at him, “sure thing, kid. Sure thing.”

“I’m sixteen.”

———

Later, before you and Natasha head off to bed you make a loud comment in the hallway that causes a couple of loud antagonized groans. “I’m going to sleep with Nat now! Well—not sleep with her, sleep with her, we’re going to be sharing a bed. As couples do...like we’ve secretly been doing but now are doing openly—the sleeping next to each other. The other sleeping together won’t be open. Well, unless—“

Natasha quickly drags you into the room before you manage to finish that train thought.

“The other sleeping together won’t be open,” Natasha grumbles. “So whatever you were planning with that girl you met online...cut it out.”

You smile at her, completely and utterly in love. “Babe, are you jealous of a made up person?”

She rolls her eyes playfully, then, abruptly, her eyes turn soft and she pulls you into a tight hug you weren’t prepared for.

“Oh. This is nice.” You wrap your arms around her too, though you’re confused. “Are you alright?”

Natasha shakes her head. “What you did earlier...don’t ever do that again. Don’t put your heart on the line in effort to protect mine,” Nat says, and she sounds more vulnerable than you meant her to be. “Your heart is my heart. It hurt me to see you looking that alone and scared. You aren’t alone. We’ll face things together.” Then quietly, Natasha says, “you’re my ocean, too. I need you to be okay for me to be okay.”

“Alright.” You promise, pulling away from the hug to cup her cheek and meet her eyes. You don’t want to hurt Natasha. You won’t. She’s already been hurt too much. “But, by the way, it really doesn’t make sense for you to be the ocean to my ocean.”

Natasha lets out an amused breath in response, then relents with; “then your my sun. You make me brighter.”

She looks so adorably proud of her analogy that you can’t help your laughter. “That’s cheesy as fuck.”

It’s perfect. Especially when Natasha snorts and pushes you away with a mocking; “okay, turtle to my ocean. Whatever you say.”

“You wound me, ocean, you wound me.”

“So now i’m a bird attacking a turtle?” Natasha asks, and now she’s just being rude. “Wounding you like they would?”

“I don’t expect a mortal to understand the poetic words of a god.”

Natasha laughs so loudly you’re sure her room neighbors can hear. You don’t have to care about them hearing anymore. “What?” You mumble, flabbergasted, “it is kinda poetic!”

“You wish.”

[sekceesimps]

The Dragon’s Requiem (A Zhongli x Reader x Childe oneshot)

Summary:  Zhongli reflects on his past with the reader as he watches her move on with someone new. 

angst with fluff and maybe a lil nsfw?

Pairing:   (past) Zhongli x Reader. Childe x Reader  

a/n  NOT THE GENSHIN HCs GETTING 600 NOTES WHAT THE HECK THANKS EVERYONE! That was such a great present to wake up to (who needs a S/O? smh I have my 200+ tumblr followers). 

I tried writing the reader as gender neutral, but since I’m a female it might not have come across as that, so I’m sorry ahead of time. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys, leave some requests and feedback (it means so much to me)! 

Sincerely Coffee 

Your fingers tangled gently into his dark locks, tugging him closer to you. You smile softly at him as he delicately places light kisses across your face and jawline, slowly inching towards your neck. You bask in his warmth and glowing attention as you arch your back to get even closer to him. In times like this, he couldn’t help but admire everything about you. From how happy you look, to the way you slept so peacefully just moments ago, or the way that you would look in a few minutes with your face flushed and begging for him.  

Zhongli has always been a man who lived in and cherished the past. He could spend hours talking about Liyue’s history or explain the customs and cultures of a time long before. It would bother some people, but never you. He admired you so much. Your patience for him, the openness of your heart to allow him to come into your life, and the unique beauty you had that surpassed anyone else in his eyes.      

He never really cared for humans. Yes, he knew he had a responsibility to them, but he never truly loved them. At least, he never loved any mortal the way that he loves you. He has been alive for thousands of years, but he had never felt this attached to someone, especially not a seemingly simple mortal. It was his strange attachment that made losing you all the more difficult.    

His greatest insecurity had always been his lifespan. If he could give everything up to spend his life with you, then he would have. He knows he has responsibilities as a protector of the nation of Liyue, but the promise of your sweet embrace and a meaningful future with you was too good to pass upon. With you, he wasn’t stuck in the past, but looked towards the future. 

“Childe! You’re such a tease,” your soothing voice sharply breaks him out of his reveries of the past. 

“Well it’s not my fault that you’re too stunning to contain myself around,” the harbinger known as Tartaglia shot back playfully and moved to grab for your hand. You take quick notice of his actions and allow him to wrap his fingers around yours. 

“Can we have dinner there!” you point excitedly at the Liuli Pavilion. 

“Anything for you, love” he grins and pulls you two towards the restaurant. 

The crowds parted at the sight of the young Fatui and his darling Y/N. He was accustomed to showing them off to everyone, proud of being able to pull someone as stunning and kind as them. Zhongli looks down, feeling sick, was that the feeling of seeing his dear Y/N with that man. He didn’t really move on. He stayed in Liyue’s harbors, sometimes you even caught glimpses of the God who stole and broke your heart in a different time. 

“I love you,” Childe grins after pulling away from you. Allowing you to catch your breath following the heated kiss, before you respond, 

“I love you more,” smiling back at your boyfriend before leaning in to steal another kiss. You move your arms to the back of his head, digging your fingers into his hair as he passionately returns your kiss. His own hand traveling low and playfully squeezing your ass. It was a simple show of affection between a young couple in love. A couple that most everyone was familiar with and adored. Of course the two of you thought you were in a secluded area, but there are people who have known this land and it’s hiding spots for years. 

It was a shame, he thinks, as he watches you and the auburn haired man enjoy your day out together. Together. The word really hits him right then and there. You had moved on past your days with the archon.              

He knows it’s selfish to continue to long for you. He left and hurt you so unfairly. You were someone precious to him, and he broke you without a care in the world. 

“Zhongli, are you ok?” you asked meekly as you walked into your shared home. He’s agitated, pacing and scrunching his eyebrows. The normally calm composured man looked flustered and sad in a way. 

“I want to take a break” he pronounced unexpressively. With blank amber eyes he tore your heart out. No, I don’t want this. I want to be with you forever. I don’t want to hurt you, he chides himself internally

Your silent tears hurt him more than any wound he’s received in battle. This is for you though. You don’t deserve this pain, but what you feel now is infinitely better than the suffering he would inflict on you in the future. 

He stops himself from reaching out to you. That would only serve to give you false comfort. He leaves without another word, heart shattering more and more as you finally let out your sobs behind the door. This will be better for you, he justifies to himself, I could never give you what you wanted. 

It was you who changed him. It was you who showed him how to really and truly love someone for the first time in his thousands of years of life. It was you who made him want to be better and grow. 

“Why do you love me,” you asked suddenly, breaking the calm silence between you two. 

“What kind of question is that?” he had questioned in return, slightly tilting his head to face you, truly puzzled as to why you were asking something like that. 

“Well I’m not particularly special. My fighting skills are average. I’m not as attractive as others around here. I guess I’m just wondering why a God like you is interested in someone as average as me. I’m sorry this is probably annoying you” you mutter and turn away from him slightly to hide your face. 

“You’re not average. You’re stunning, brave, true, and compassionate. You are so much more than even that. There has never been any other mortal that has ever captured my attention like you have. I only have my eyes for you so don’t apologize,” he answers honestly, gazing into your eyes, which were now welling with tears. 

“I love you,” you whisper and let him wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close to him and offering a comforting touch. 

“I love you more than you could ever imagine,” he mumbled into your hair and placed a light kiss on your forehead. 

Something inside of Zhongli curls up and dies when he hears your illuminating laughter and head thrown back, as your E/C eyes gleam in the sun’s light. That should be him making you laugh. Him causing your happiness. Him kneeling on one knee. Him devoting his life to you. 

“Yes!” you exclaim in shock at seeing the man you’ve spent the last two years with get down on  one knee in front of you.

“I haven’t even asked anything yet,” he teases as he slides a silver band onto your finger, “but I’m glad you said yes.” you smile back at him and place soft kisses all across his face. 

“Come on, let’s eat some golden shrimp on the roof over there!” he declares as he places another kiss on your cheek right before he takes off towards the roof of a building on the harbor. 

This would be the final time Zhongli swears to himself again as he takes another glance at your grinning form. He knows it’s a useless promise because he knows that he’ll be back soon. 

He thinks it’s ironic that it took leaving you to realize how much he can’t live without you. 

As he turns away from the scene of the grinning couple, his heart crumbles, but it’s the thought that you would finally be happy, keeping him from breaking forever. Yes, he would be at your side for the rest of his days, it may not be in the way that he wanted, but he holds you too dear to leave for good. 

“Goodbye for now my darling Y/N” the archon murmurs. He hopes you hear his requiem for what the two of you had. For what he would still protect and cherish, even as he watches it get replaced by someone you deserved more. 

You hear a familiar voice faintly echo as you cling further into your now asleep fiance's arms and rest your head on his shoulder. As you feel a shadow of a kiss on your forehead you can’t help but think back to those precious times with your geo archon, “Until we meet again Zhongli. Perhaps in a different life I’ll be enough for you,” you whisper into the night.  

The dragon lets out his final song, all the while your own resolve crumbles away, longing for the man you once called home, but accepting this wonderful future with a man you love. 

a/n  Feel free to drop a like or comment, it boosts my fragile ego. In a bit of pain if you couldn’t tell. I’ve also gotten too addicted to this game and it’s sekcee characters, please send help 🤧  

[20moonchild21]

𝗦𝗲𝗵𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵𝘁 [𝗯𝘁𝘀]

⇉ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 11

[pairings]

JK x female!oc, Bunny!JK x human!female!oc, Jin x female!oc, Leopard!Jin x human!female!oc, Jimin x female!oc, white Tiger!Jimin x human!female!oc, Taehyung x female!oc, black Tiger!Taehyung x human!female!oc, JK x Jin x Jimin x Taehyung x female!oc

[warnings]

self-doubts, mentions of an abusive past

[words]

4.0k

[author]

Hey there! I really hope you had an amazing week so far. For me, I finally finished all my exams this week. This means I will have finished school forever in only 4 weeks!😱 How crazy is that?!

Important information:

Next Wednesday I won’t upload a new chapter, because I am at a funeral, and I don’t think I will be in the mood to do anything that day anymore. I hope you can understand🙏🏼

If you don’t want to wait until next Sunday for my next chapter, I can only recommend you to check out Inferiority complex written by my friend @starlightauroras-main. It’s a super cute and exciting story about Hybrid!Jimin and the reader. Please, leave her a lot of likes and comments, because she deserves it!

Here in Germany, it is Easter weekend next week. Do you celebrate Easter where you come from?

Stay safe and healthy!

Mꨄ

[chapter 10 ||| chapter 12]

Jungkook was sitting crossed legs on his favourite spot in the middle of the hallway, looking dreamily at the photo wall, where now the photo of him and Jin was hanging as well. It was one of the day were he had nothing to do at all.

In the morning, he had already finished his sport routine, ripping Jin out of his sleep as well when he had punched against his bag. After breakfast, he had practiced the guitar and read in his book again, before he helped Jin to get ready for his grocery shopping tour with Hope. Hope always offered that they could join her when she would go buying groceries, because she wanted to offer them as much freedom as possible.

They had put Jin’s long, fluffy tail down the leg of his trousers, while a black beanie had covered his ears from the other people’s glances. Lucky for them, autumn had arrived in New York, so it wouldn’t be strange to wear a hat when going outside. The both of them had left a few minutes ago, and since there was nothing else for Jungkook to do, he had sat down and looked over the photos.

Sometimes, it all felt unreal to him. Just about 2.5 months ago, he had been strolling around the streets, not knowing what the next they would hold for him. He had thought that his whole life would have to include fear and submission, because that was the only thing he had learnt in life. Never had he thought, that he would do simple things like watching TV, sleeping in his own bed or just sitting at the same table as a human.

Not once Hope had askes anything from him, since she had taken him and his brother in. She gave them anything, showing them that they were worth it all. In the past, he had several thoughts about not worthing all the things she offered. It was stuck in his brain for too long.

He often asked himself why people were so cruel these days. Hope had told him what had happened a long time ago, and how the people told themselves that their minds had changed. Since he had been living with the girl, he somehow didn’t felt that different anymore. He was just living his life with his brother, doing the things he liked without being punished for it. He wanted everyone to have that possibility.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door behind him opened with a small squeaking sound. He didn’t need to turn around, because by now, he knew Jimin’s scent. The smaller tiger and his grumpy brother had been staying with them for over 1.5 weeks now. Jungkook wasn’t that happy in the beginning when they crashed into his life without warning.

Especially, when that grumpy tiger growled at Hope that one evening or when he showed off his fangs. Though he hadn’t sharp tooth like him, he would not have been afraid to kick them out of the flat, but he had tried to calm himself down when Jin used his stern tone on him. His brother was right, a few weeks ago, him and Jin had been in the same position as Jimin and Taehyung. They laid scared and injured on the girl’s sofa, begging for her to help them.

“What are you doing?” Jimin had stepped out of the room and was now standing behind Jungkook, looking curiously at the bunny Hybrid.

Jungkook had to admit that he somehow like that white tiger. Jimin was a calm person to hang out with. He wasn’t sure about him in the beginning, because he had thought he was like his grumpy brother, but once he had talked to him a few times, he had developed sympathy for him.

“I look at those photos.” Jungkook turned his head and looked at the smaller male.

Jimin’s white ears stood up in attention, while his tail was slightly wrapped around his left thigh. He was looking at the photos on the wall, before he took a step closer and carefully sunk himself down next to the bunny. Jimin had definitely changed since the first time he came here, Jungkook could tell. He had become braver, talking and joining them sometimes while eating or watching TV.

Jungkook didn’t mind thought. He had wanted a friend (who wasn’t his brother) for a long time, because when Jin was cooking in the kitchen and Hope was working on her computer, he often got bored.

“Are you only looking at them all day long?” Jimin had crossed his legs as well, as he carefully studied the pictured on the wall.

“I –“ Jungkook stopped. It was hard to explain his affection for pictures. “It just – when I first came here, I was so scared that maybe Hope would be as cruel as my – as my last owners. But then she showed me around and when I saw those pictures and she told me the stories behind them, it just felt right. They made me feel – safe and like I was home, you know? It’s hard to explain, but I just love that wall.”

Jungkook pulled up his knees towards his chest, before putting his head onto them. Jimin next to him just hummed in response, but he wasn’t saying anything for another few minutes. Jungkook knew it may sounded selfish when he talked about his now happy life, while he knew that Jimin and Taehyung technically didn’t have one. After all, they weren’t living here.

“It must be great to have Hope as your owner.” Jimin suddenly said, his voice held a lot of sadness. “Since I can think, Taehyung had been my only family. It had always been just him and me.”

“Jin and me were alone for a long time, too.” Jungkook turned his head to look at the older male sitting next to him. “I always thought that I would spend my whole life with those cruel people. I thought that I was destined to live like that, but then I met Hope and everything just turned upside down. She is just – she gave me everything I could have ever asked for.”

Jungkook didn’t realized that he was already rumbling about the girl again, but Jimin did.

“You are talking about her a lot.” Jimin just stated, as they looked into each other’s eyes. “You like her, don’t you?”

Of course Jungkook liked her. Hope was the only human he knew who would actually treat him as if he was a real person and not just some animal. She gave him a real home. A home that he loved to wake up in every morning, and a home he felt safe to go to sleep in the evening.

In addition, Hope was a really beautiful girl in his eyes. He always like the way her skin would glow in the sun when they sat at the breakfast table. The way she always closed her tired eyes, as she sipped at her coffee mug, or how that two dimples would form on her cheeks every time she laughed along with him. Somehow it would always make his own cheeks reddened when caught himself thinking about her.

Not to mention her scent, that was all over the apartment and the furniture. It was nothing he could describe or compare with something, but still, it was the most beautiful scent he had ever smelled in his life. He never wanted to miss that anymore.

He wanted to feel that closeness they had while they would be cuddling onto the couch, watching the Simpsons over and over again. As well as her small kisses on the head when she would say good-night to him, or when she would massage the back of his head. He wouldn’t even have a problem with her touching his ears by now.

“Yes, I like her.” He whispered back, confessing it for the very first time to another person.

Jimin pulled his eyebrows together in surprise and confusion. Of course, he had noticed that the girl was very natural and nice, which made her likable, but he also hadn’t known her for as long as Jungkook.

“Did you tell her that?” Jimin innocently asked the bunny Hybrids after a few seconds of silence.

“No, it’s not appropriate, Jimin.” He said quietly, fixing his eyes on the photo were the girl smiled at her graduation ceremony. “I am just a Hybrid after all. She would never get involved in something like that. She deserves better than me.”

Jimin just nodded in response, before he fixed his eyes on the photo wall once again, getting lost in his own mind. Jimin was clearly a person you could tell your matters and secrets without feeling judged un some kind. Jungkook felt really comfortable in the older one’s presence.

“Why is your brother even so grumpy all the time?” He suddenly changed the subject, wanting to cheer up the mood a little bit. “He is always pulling a face when I see him.”

Jungkook tried to imitate the older black tiger, making some funny grimaces that mad Jimin chuckle slightly. The white tiger shook his head, before he looked behind him to make sure Taehyung would not be standing behind them.

“Usually, he isn’t like that. Really.” He sighed, turning his attention back towards Jungkook. “He has been through a lot in the past. I swear, he would never hurt a fly, that would not be him. He can be really caring and protective, that’s why he reacted the way he did the other night. I am sorry for him, but he is only scared.”

Jungkook nodded, understanding Taehyungs reaction in some way. He probably would be the same way, if he would be in his position.

“I understand.” He mumbled, before a smile spread over his face. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he is a big, grumpy cat.”

“Oh my god, Taehyung.” The girl gasped, as she removed the bandage that had been wrapped around the older boy’s injured arm. “That looks much worse than yesterday. Did you scratch it or something?”

The black tiger’s arm had become much better over the past few days. The infection had been gone down, but now it looked horrible. The skin was red and swollen again, with some blood coming through the injured skin.

“I – ehm – no?” He stuttered around, not looking her into the eyes. She cocked her eyebrow up and gave him a stern look. “Okay, it was itching badly last night, so I scratched it a little bit. Are you happy?”

Hope just rolled her eyes when he tried to talk in his loud way. He could be so stubborn. I he would just had asked her, she could have gave him some salve which had avoid that scenario. But he, he was too proud.

“Taehyung, this is no joke.” She grabbed the wet glove and tried to remove the small amount of blood, which made Taehyung hiss. “Your wound got infected again. You have to be more careful. If it itches again, just come to me and I add some salve to alleviate it, okay?”

She sighed when he just rolled his eyes in response. She had tried to show him that he could talk to her in a normal way, without intimidating her with his fangs or snapping at each other, but somehow he seemed to isolate himself on purpose, and she couldn’t understand why, because Jimin was the complete opposite.

The white tiger had clearly opened up over the past few days, talking and joking around in his bubbly way that was nice to watch. He even got a tiny little bit closer with Jungkook. She sometimes saw the two younger boys talking or watching TV together.

“Where did you even got that injury?” She suddenly asked without thinking. As soon as the words had left her, she noticed her mistake. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you that. It was inappropriate. You don’t have to tell me of course. I was just curious.”

Taehyung had bit his cheek inside his mouth, as she just turned her attention back towards his arm and continued to clean up the injury. For a short moment, she thought that he would again try to intimidate her with his fangs, but instead, he shook his head, before he turned his head away.

“After Jimin and I managed to get away from that audition – “ He hesitantly began to talk in a slow, deep voice. “ – they sent some chasers after us, that should catch us and bring us back. We ran for hours, when Jimin had suddenly spotted that old, rotten building. We tried to find an entrance, but we there was none, so we tried to climb through one of the windows. I wanted to jump from the window sill, when my arm got stuck at a nail, that I haven’t seen in the wall. That’s the beginning how I ended up here.”

Hope didn’t miss the bitterness in his voice when he talked about his escape. It took her much to not break out in tear in front of him, even though her heart broke at his story. She knew that inside in, Taehyung was just a normal boy with good intention, who deserves to live in a peaceful surrounding. He definitely didn’t deserve to live a live on the streets.

“I definitely need to be more careful the next time, what?” He suddenly joked, chuckling slightly.

It took the girl a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. Her heart skipped a beat when reality hit her. Jimin and Taehyung weren’t living here after all. She had told them in the beginning that they could stay until Taehyung was healthy again, and that day would come along soon.

Both tigers would leave the apartment again, going out on the streets an living their lives there. It broke her heart when she thought back how scared both of them had been when she had found them a few days ago in that abandoned parking house. In addition, winter would start soon and the temperatures were already falling. It would be crazy to spend the nights out there alone.

“Do you – “ She stopped, battling in her head if she you ask him that question or not. “Do you know where you want to – to go?”

Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. She actually didn’t want hear his response, knowing that it would stuck in her head and wouldn’t let her sleep anymore.

“No.” He whispered back, still refusing to look into her eyes. “We – we will just try to hide somewhere, I guess.”

“Goodnight, Jimin.” She slightly waved at the white tiger, before he closed the door, leaving the small girl alone in the hallway.

The conversation from earlier was still bugging at her brain. She wanted to take in any Hybrid that was suffering in this world, but she knew it was impossible.

Over the past days, she had often thought about Jin and Jungkook and how she had just taken them in. Should she ask Jimin and Taehyung too? After all, the apartment offered them more than enough space to stay and it seemed like Jungkook and Jin got along with at least Jimin. But maybe Jungkook just acted nice because he knew that they would leave at some point.

It was not a decision she could take on her own. Jin and Jungkook were living here as well. She would have to accept their decision like they had always respected her decisions.

A shiver ran down her spine when she thought about how she would have to tell Jimin and Taehyung that they would have to leave again. Where would they go? Taehyung had told her that they would try to hide on the streets again, with no one to protect them, with no warm place to stay.

Carefully, she turned around and walked towards her boys’ door. She softly knocked against the piece of wood and stepped in when Jin told her so.

“Hope!” Jungkook jumped off the bed and walked with big steps over towards the smaller girl.

Gladly, she accepted the bunny’s hug. He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her closer until her face was pressed against his chest. She pressed her cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and closed her eyes. Even though her nose wasn’t as good as theirs, she smelled his manly scent through the shirt.

When Jungkook let go of her, he took her hand and pulled her over towards the bed, before he sat down and pulled her next to him. Jin was sitting at the desk, writing something into his notebook when he spotted the girl. He closed the book and walked over as well, giving her a quick side hug when he sat down.

Hope was glad that Jin had warmed up to her over the past weeks. In the beginning, he had often kept his distance towards the girl when she was near. But by now, he wouldn’t pull his hand back when their hands would touch while they set the table, he wouldn’t move over to the end of the sofa while watching TV, and he even gave her small hug when they would say goodnight to each other.

“Why did you come, Hope?” Jungkook asked, as his big, brown orbs looked into her eyes.

He was still holding her smaller hand in his bigger ones, which made her heart beat a little bit faster. She had noticed that the small things he or Jin would do would make her cheeks redden or her heart beat a little bit faster. She told herself that it was because she never had such intensive contact with a boy and that she eventually would get used to that. What was going on with her body?

“I – ehm – “ She began to stutter, trying to remember the reason she came. “I wanted to talk to you about something. What – how are you doing so far? Did you feel different since I adopted the both of you?”

She decided to not jump into it right away. She was afraid that she would offend Jungkook with her huge request. Jin was another thing. She knew that he had a pretty calm and rational personality. He never let his emotion take over him like Jungkook, who spoke before he had thought about it.

“Amazing.” Jungkook swarmed, squeezing her hand slightly. “I feel so happy now that we can live here. But I wish we could do more to help you with everything. Sometimes, I feel bad because you have to most of the things alone. I wish that I could just do more.”

The bunny sunk his ears next to his head. His eyes were filled with sadness.

“Oh, Kookie.” She lifted her hand and carefully drove it over his thick hair. “You do more than enough for me. Look, you always help me doing the laundry and set the table for me, this is a big help, you know? One day, you can do anything you like, I promise, okay?”

Jungkook’s head shot up, before he nodded quickly. He rubbed his head a few more times against her hands, before he looked over towards Jin, who was slightly smiling as well.

“I – “ He stopped for a shirt moment. “I feel truly happy. Sometimes, I still think back at – the those people – but then – I am not scared anymore, because I know that I have Jungkook and you and then it’s okay.”

“That’s nice to hear, Jin.” Hope took his hand in her right on and squeezed it slightly. “But what do you think about Jimin and Taehyung? I know you didn’t like them being here in the beginning.”

Immediately, she felt the hand to her left side tense up at her question. Jungkook didn’t seemed to be so fond of that question.

“I like Jimin.” Jin said without hesitation. “He is fun to hang out with. He helped me cooking a few times. But that other boy, Taehyung, I have barely seen him, and if he was grumpy. I think he is still scared.”

“I hate him.” Jungkook hissed, pulling his hand away, before he crossed his arms over his chest. “He is angry all the time and I don’t trust him. He growled at you, Hope. Jimin is okay, I guess. It was fun to play the PlayStation with him, but that doesn’t mean I trust him completely.”

The girl sighed at the bunny’s words. That was what she had been afraid of to hear.

“What about you, Hope?” Jin had obviously noticed her mood. “What do you think about them?”

“I – listen, I know that you are no sure about them, and especially not about Taehyung.” Her voice was slightly shaking, as she began to speak again. “But I know that they do have any bad intentions. I just think that Taehyung is scared and worried about Jimin. I want to be honest with you. Taehyung’s arm is healed soon – “

“Good.” Jungkook interrupted her, a slight smile on his face. “That means they will leave again, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does.” The girl pulled her hands away and began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. “But – but I don’t want them to leave again.”

At the end, her voice was nothing more than a whisper, still afraid to say the wrong words.

“What?” The bunny’s eyes went wide when he hear her statement. “What do you mean, Hope? Do you want them to live her with us? This is – ”

“Jungkook.” Jin spoke in a warning voice now. “Let her finish.”

Jungkook looked at his brother for another few seconds, before he nodded and took the girl’s hand again.

“It just doesn’t feel right for to kick them out, when I swore to myself that I would protect any Hybrid with everything I have.” Hope was near to cry now. “We have enough room here, and I really like the both of them, even Taehyung. He is not like that all the time, he talked to me yesterday. He told me about how they fled form those cruel people and how scared he is. I won’t let them stay if you don’t want to. I respect your decisions. I felt like telling you about my concerns.”

She hadn’t noticed the tears that were now sliding down her cheeks. Why did she had to be so emotional about anything? Jungkook had noticed it too, and lifted his arm to carefully whip the we stains away with the sleeves of his shirt.

“To be honest – “ A small smile was playing on Jin’s mouth. “ – I already knew that you won’t want them to leave. Jungkook and I know what they are going through, and we were more than lucky that you found us. I am willing to show them that there is another life for them, so it’s fine with me if they stay with us.”

“Thank you, Jin.” The girl whispered, the tears were still spilling out of her eyes.

She bent over and wrapped her carefully around Jin’s broad shoulders. He had gain more weight lately, so he wasn’t just the thin, tall boy anymore.

Jungkook was still sitting there, eyes flickering between his brother and the girl. Hope could tell that he was having a huge battle inside his head, whether he should agree or stay with his opinion. He sighed, before sinking his head, ears dropping down next to his face.

“Kookie, what about we give them a chance.” The girl let go of Jin and was now sliding over to the bunny. “You don’t have to be best friends with Jimin and Taehyung, but we can try to get along.”

Jungkook’s big brown eyes were looking up at hers. His brown orbs held a lot of sadness, as he carefully nodded his head. Hope smiled widely, before giving his a tight hug from the side.

“But if he growls at you one more time at you, I won’t hesitate to kick his butt.”

[taglist] ⇉ you know what to do!

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@starlightauroras-main

@wishesunderthestars

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@angelicyoongie

[semisgroupie]

 The Woman Who Used to be Mrs. Jones

Genre: smut, fluff (kinda at the end?), angst

Pairing: Aoi Todo X F!Reader

Word Count: 6.4k words

Warnings (some of the content can be triggering so please read through the warnings before reading this): cheating (in this Todo is the other man/reader is in a loveless marriage where her husband cheats on her/her husband is just a huge asshole), toxic relationship, sexual scenes, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), dirty talk, multiple creampies, bathroom sex, praise, risky sex (they fuck at a party the reader and her husband is hosting), mention of a small altercation between Todo and reader’s husband, mention of a child & brief mention of pregnancy (not detailed),  if I missed anything let me know

A/N: I do not condone, support or encourage cheating! It is not good, don’t do it! The song Me and Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul helped me with creating this piece so I recommend listening to it while reading this. This has depicted sex within this so MINORS DNI (I’m not gonna cry bc I don’t cry but I am not afraid to beat some ass) So I hope you all enjoy it, comments/reblogs are very appreciated!!! I also apologize in advance if formatting is weird on mobile :/

Flashbacks are bolded & italicized! Also separated by a border!

Todo walks up to the counter of the cafe and orders the usual for the both of you. He came early since he was done with work earlier than usual so after paying for the drinks he carried them to the special spot you two shared. Once seated he takes his phone out to check the time while taking a sip from his drink.

The time read 5:45. You got out fifteen minutes ago and your job wasn’t too far from the cafe, so you’d be there soon. The bell chimed to the cafe and Todo looked up to see you walk in.

His heart pounded in his chest, you looked as beautiful as you did the first day he met you all those years ago in high school. Once you two made eye contact you flashed him a smile and made your way over to him.

“Hey baby, I didn’t think you’d be here before me.”

He felt his cheeks flush at the pet name. You leaned down to hug him and give him a kiss, placing your hands on each side of his face caressing him as your lips met. Once you pulled away you sat down and started talking about your day at work.

He couldn’t help but lose focus as to what you were saying. He knew your day was tough from how your hair looked a bit disheveled from running your hands through it, a habit you had picked up when you were extremely stressed.

Time passed as the two of you spoke about each other’s days and then you were both done with your drinks.

“Wanna go home now Aoi? As much as I love it here I found this new recipe online that I would really like to try out!”

He nodded as you both got up, tipped the cashier one last time before heading to your shared home. The distance was short from where you both were currently and when you two were together even one hundred miles would feel like two blocks.

As Todo put the key in to unlock the door he sighed in content. Once you both were inside he took your jacket off and put it away. He leaned on the kitchen island while you started taking out ingredients for dinner.

“This isn’t a dream right Y/N?”

It just felt so unrealistic to him he just had to be dreaming. Your laughter filled the air as you walked towards him. You wrapped your arms around his body and looked up at him.

“While we did this in the most unconventional way it is very much real” you removed your left hand from his body to put your hand close to his line of view, “this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.”

Unconventional? Was that even the right word to explain the events that led you both to where you are now?

You started your arrangement with him two years ago. You became “Mrs. Jones” a year before that. A happy marriage was wished to the both of you, but your marriage was anything but that. Six months after you both said your I do’s you found your husband in bed with his boss. They didn’t even think about trying to conceal their affair.

To say it broke your heart was an understatement. You felt like he ripped your heart out of your chest and destroyed it slowly as you watched. Soon there were lonely nights filled with you drinking and crying yourself to sleep. Soon after you just became numb, you got used to putting up a facade whenever your friends or family asked how married life was.

The only one who knew of the affair and how horrible your marriage actually was, was your best friend Valerie. When she first found out you had to hold her back the next time she saw him because she was just filled with rage. You were trying to find a good divorce attorney, but you just didn’t have enough money yet, so you were stuck for the time being. Then it was time to plan how to celebrate one year since the day you married him.

Valerie said that she would bring a special surprise for you, but you just pushed it to the side. You settled on hosting a party at your parent’s house since it was big enough. The fake smile you had plastered on your face burned your soul more than the cheap ring on your finger. A cheap ring that meant the entire world one moment but now means absolutely nothing.

You were leaning on the wall, holding a glass of champagne, next to your husband as Valerie approached you.

“Y/N! You look absolutely stunning!” she gave your husband a side glance as she begrudgingly said his name, “Declan... anyways I have your surprise so come with me to the backyard!”

Before you could say anything she grabbed your hand and weaved both of you through the crowd of people. She opened the door and you almost dropped your glass at the sight.

“Aoi? I thought you were away in Sweden?”

Todo brings a hand to his neck.

“I was but my job relocated here, and Valerie told me everything. As much as I’d love to say congratulations, I can’t.”

Your body moves on its own as you approach him and hug him. He holds you on instinct and all that is heard is sniffles. You move back and quickly apologize for your abrupt actions.

“Hey, don’t apologize pretty girl” he brought his hands to cup your face and wiped the tears from your face, “Declan should be the one apologizing, how could he take someone like you for granted. I know you might not believe me, but you look just as beautiful as you did when we were in high school.”

The two of you were high school sweethearts but got accepted into different colleges. The inevitable happened and you both broke up, heading your separate ways losing contact. The last thing you heard about him was he had a job in Sweden and that was it. After college you met Declan and he seemed like a knight in shining armor, but it was too late for you to realize he was the devil in disguise.

You leaned into his touch as if you two were the only ones there. Only if he was the one you married; you both would be so happy. You wouldn’t have to worry about any mistresses or affairs because even in this moment you felt all his love. Todo moved in and before you knew it you felt his lips on yours.

You melted into the kiss immediately kissing him back until he abruptly pulled away.

“I am so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to you’re still married, and this is the anniversary party and he’s inside—”

“I don’t care about Declan. The only one I care about is you. Valerie always says I should be a little selfish and now is the time. I still care about you Aoi, I still love you. The piece of my heart that left with you is now back and I’m whole again. I understand if you’re not comfortable with this, I am trying to find a lawyer and once I get the promotion at my job I can finally pay for one.”

You looked up at him hoping he would indulge you in one last kiss even if it would be the last one you two ever shared. You watched as a smile grew on his handsome face.

“I love you too Y/N, I always had and I always will. When Valerie told me about everything I cannot explain the anger I felt not only at him but also myself. If I never left then you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe you would’ve been with me.”

He leaned down and placed another kiss on your lips. Before it could continue Valerie ran out to the both of you.

“Hey lovebirds as much as I love seeing you two together Declan is starting a toast and wants his wife by his side.”

She rolled her eyes as your husband’s name left her lips. You took a deep breath and turned inside, Valerie and Todo following you. You took another deep breath as you made your way to your husband putting up the fake smile. He handed you a glass of champagne and started the toast.

“This past year with my beautiful wife by my side has been the best year of my life. Waking up next to her every morning is what fuels my fire. I love this woman so much and marrying her was the best decision of my life. Thank you all for coming and supporting us. Here’s to a happy, healthy marriage and for many more years to come!”

As glasses clinked and cheers filled the room you were filled with disgust at his words. How could he spew such garbage knowing it meant absolutely nothing?

“Come on honey, you can do a better job with that fake fucking smile. Make everyone believe that we’re in love and that I haven’t fucked almost every single one of my coworkers. Maybe I’ll even indulge in you tonight.”

“Fuck you Declan, you piece of shit.”

You excused yourself to the bathroom shoving your heel into his foot making him wince in pain. Todou followed you upstairs a few minutes afterwards hearing your sobs. He knocked on the door once, twice until your shaky voice responded.

“Hey it’s me, I wanted to check on you.”

He waited hearing your heels click on the ground until you reached the door to open it. You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, eyes puffy from all the rubbing and wiping your tears away. Todo looked at you with so much love it was as if Eros struck him with his bow.

He quickly placed his lips on yours, the kiss feverish but also very loving. As if he was telling you how much he loved you each time his lips met yours. He picked you up and placed you on top of the bathroom sink, quickly running to shut and lock the bathroom door.

“Please let me make you forget about him. Please let me show you what it is like to make love and not fuck. Please Y/N.”

All you did was nod before placing your lips back on his allowing your hands to slide down and undo his belt. He allowed you to undo his belt and pants letting them hit the ground while he was lifting the skirt of your dress up.

“As much as I’d love to take my time worshipping your body we have to make this pretty quick beautiful. But please if you want to stop at any time stop me.”

You nodded at him as you felt his hand lightly graze your clothed pussy. He moved your panties to one side as he slipped a finger in, slowly moving it then inserting a second finger moving it just as slow but each movement made you moan and shiver. You started getting impatient and you grabbed his wrist.

“Please Aoi, please make love to me.”

He slotted his lips against yours again as he removed his cock from his boxers. Moving the tip against your folds making you both moan in the kiss. Once he entered you, slowly and gentle, you broke away from the kiss to throw your head back and moan. Once you gave him the okay he started thrusting.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby. Just holding me like you don’t want me to let go.”

He moved faster hitting all the right spots. It was as if his cock was designed to fit inside your pussy. Both of your moans and groans filled the small bathroom. It quickly became heated as the mirror started to fog up. He started thrusting into you faster and harder making you throw your hands on the mirror for stabilization.

He placed sloppy kisses along the column of your neck. He lifted himself from your neck to lick two of his fingers and place them on your clit, moving them in small tight circles.

“Come on baby cum for me. Cum all over my cock and I will fill you up. I’ll make this pretty little pussy so fucking messy with my cum and you’ll walk around in that party filled with it. You look so fucking gorgeous baby. I love you so much.”

That sent you off the edge, creaming on his cock with a high pitched moan of his name. He continued pounding your pussy through your orgasm as he was nearing his own. You pulled him in for another kiss running your nails up and down his clothed chest. Feeling your nails against him made him reach his own peak, filling you completely with his cum.

Todo peppered kisses along your lips, swollen and puffy from kissing so intensely, as you both came down from your highs.

“I’m going to pull out now okay?”

“Okay that’s fine.”

You didn’t need to tell Todo to be gentle, he was already treating you like fine glass. He slowly pulled out and quickly moved your underwear to cover your cum filled pussy. A low chuckle left his lips.

“Don’t want you leaking cum all over the place.”

He lifted you off the bathroom sink after picking up both his pants and boxers. Before you could even smooth out your dress Todo did it for you, fixing any flyaways in your hair and placing one last kiss on your lips. He unlocked the door and helped lead you to the stairs.

“We should head down at separate times so we don’t look so suspicious.”

You nodded, placing one last kiss one his lips.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

You went downstairs and walked to your parents. You had a small limp and it filled both Aoi and yourself with joy seeing how your husband stared, completely confused at you. Valerie leaned next to you close to your ear.

“I already gave Aoi your phone number, go get that dick again.”

She lightly smacked your ass, a small yelp leaving your lips. The party went on for a couple more hours, lingering glances shared between you and Todo. When the party ended you had to figure out a ride situation since your husband drank way too much and you were a little tipsy.

Declan’s brother offered to take him back and before he could offer you a ride Todo came up and offered to take you home, to which you immediately agreed. The ride was filled with laughter and talk of memories. Also, when Todo parked at a secluded area near where you live you thanked him for the ride with a mind blowing blowjob.

He dropped you off in front of your place, being the gentleman he is, he walked you to the front door giving you one last kiss.

“I hope to see you again soon beautiful angel.”

“How about tomorrow? We could go get drinks or dinner.”

“There’s a cafe near my job, I’ll text you the address. Meet me there tomorrow when you’re done with work.”

You nodded as you fished your keys out of your purse. Taking a deep breath you unlocked the door and put your things away, heading straight to the guest bedroom because you refuse to sleep in the same bed Declan had all his whores in.

You thought he went to sleep until you heard a groan of your name. You rolled your eyes and continued going to the guest bedroom, ignoring him until you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“What do you want Declan?”

“What, I can’t touch my wife? You looked really sexy tonight so I thought I might do you the favor of fucking you.”

Fire burned in your veins. Every time you tried to pull yourself away from his hold, his grip got tighter.

“Declan, you’re drunk, and I hate you. Even if I was drunk I still wouldn’t go to bed with you, so make good friends with your hand or call one of your whores up because I will never sleep with you again.”

He turned you around.

“Listen here you bitch, you will never talk to me like that ever again. I did you the fucking favor of marrying your sorry ass now you treat me like this? I haven’t touched you in fucking months and this is what you tell me? Fuck you.”

“My sorry ass? Did me a favor? Did you also do me a favor by cheating on me over and over again? Did you do me a fucking favor then Declan? Rubbing it in my face that you didn’t love me the way I loved you, fucking anything that had tits and bringing them back here. I. Fucking. Hate. You. Rot. In. Hell. I don’t know what those girls see in you anyways, I had to fake almost all my orgasms and your dick has a weird curve, you should go see a doctor for that actually. I can’t wait until I have the money to divorce you and properly leave your sorry ass in the dust.”

You snatched your arm from his grip and locked yourself in the guest bedroom. You took off the heels and unzipped your dress letting it hit the ground as you made your way to the bathroom that was connected to the room. You took off the ring on your left hand flushing it down the toilet.

“That’ll be the last I see of you.”

You turned on the shower letting the water run, steam filling up the bathroom fogging up the mirror. You slipped your panties off the memory of your time with Aoi in the bathroom of your parents’ house filling your mind as you picked up the cum stained panties and put them in the laundry basket.

You entered the shower letting the water run over your body. After your shower you put your pajamas on and sent a goodnight text to Todo setting up the time for meeting at the cafe tomorrow. The next morning you woke up to an empty house, you let out a sigh of relief not wanting to deal with Declan after the stunt he pulled last night.

Your day at work went fairly quickly then it was the end of your workday. Inputting the address Todo gave you into the GPS you realized the drive was going to be pretty short. Once you found parking you walked into the cafe, the little bell on the door chiming with the movement. You looked around and saw Todo sitting at a corner side table, isolated from most of the crowd.

That’s when you started the arrangement. He was fine with being the sideman for now until he could properly have you to himself. Little dates and mind blowing sex filled your lives for the next four months.

~Four Months Later~

Todo was sitting at the table that basically became the unofficially assigned table for you both as he heard the chime to the door. His head shot up expecting you to come through the doorway. It was just an elderly couple. He checked his phone again, checking for any new messages from you and nothing. Just the last message that read: “I’ll see you soon my love”.

Today was the day you would find out if you got the promotion. With the promotion you would get a huge increase in your salary and a $2,000 advance once it was official. $2,000 was the amount you needed to finally afford the divorce lawyer.

Ten minutes passed and Todo ordered another drink for himself. To say he was nervous for you would be an understatement. He was fidgeting like crazy. He received the drink and sat back down at the table. The door chimed again and he looked up to finally see you.

You waved at him and gave him a small smile. Worry filled him and he was afraid to ask you how everything went.

“There’s no way she didn’t get the promotion. She has the best relationship with her boss and she works so hard.” He thought to himself.

You greeted him with a kiss on his head and sat down. He stood silent watching you.

“So I should tell you about what happened at work right Aoi?”

“You don’t have to honey, it’s fine.”

A smile graced your face, a genuine smile, the only type of smile that you shared with Todo since he filled you with genuine happiness.

“I got the promotion.”

Todo sat there in shock.

“What? What did you just say?”

“I got the promotion. I just came back from meeting the divorce lawyer to fill out necessary paperwork, that’s why I came so late.”

He got up from his seat and lifted you up into his arms.

“I’m so happy. I could yell from the rooftops.”

So he did the next best thing, he yelled about your promotion to the entire cafe. The people inside applauded you and gave you words of encouragement. The elderly man approached the both of you after Todo put you down.

“Congratulations to you young lady. This young man seems to be extremely proud of you. I didn’t mean to interrupt the celebration but it’s just that the both of you remind both my wife and I of us when we were younger. While we met under unconventional circumstances we have spent the past 30 years together. I wish you both a happy, healthy relationship.”

You both thanked the old man and watched him walk back to his wife.

“Do you think we’ll be like them one day Aoi?”

He pulled you close to him.

“I don’t think we will, I have a feeling I know we will. Now let’s go pick up your things and bring you back to my place to properly celebrate.”

He drove you to your house and walked with you inside to pack your clothes. In the midst of packing things you both heard the front door slam shut, meaning one thing: Declan was home.

“Care to explain the car in front Y/N? I know you don’t have enough money to afford a new one.”

You sighed and continued packing with Todo.

“I was asking you a fucking question -- oh who’s this? Why are you packing? Oh I get it now, finally got a new guy to deal with your shit? Good luck buddy--”

Before Declan could get another sentence out Todo walked over and shoved him against the wall.

“Don’t you ever speak to Y/N like that again asshole. For your information, she’s leaving you and coming with me. A guy who actually loves her.”

Declan stood there shocked that someone stood up to him. Once you zipped up your bag Todo left Declan to help you. Todo walked behind you with your bag in his hand. You turned one last time to Declan.

“Oh by the way I’ve been having sex with Aoi for the last four months and the first time was at the anniversary party. The reason I was limping was because of him not because of my heels. And you’ll be getting my divorce papers soon, go fuck yourself Declan.”

You walked with Todo to his car and he drove you back to the cafe so you could bring your car to his place. Once you entered through the front door he was on top of you. Placing sloppy kisses all over your lips and neck.

“You looked so fucking sexy there Y/N.”

He picked you up and brought you to his bedroom while you were peppering kisses along his neck. He put you on the bed and started stripping, you followed suit until you were left in your bra and panties and he was left in his boxers.

He pushed you down on the bed and crawled over you. Placing kisses down your body, removing your bra once he got to your chest and removing your panties once he got to your hips. Not one inch of your body was left untouched by his lips except your pussy. The place you needed him most.

“Aoi please.”

“Please what baby? Tell me what you want.”

“Need you—your mouth on my pussy please.”

He wasted no time. He licked from your leaking entrance to your engorged clit. Making you throw your head back.

“I don’t know how but you taste better every time. I’m fucking addicted to how you taste.”

He dove back in, wrapping his lips around your clit and using a finger to tease your entrance. He was alternating between light sucks and harsh sucks making you buck your hips against his mouth.

“Aoi please fuck me. Wanna cum on your cock please.”

He gave your clit one last suck and took the finger he used to circle your entrance and put it in your mouth. The feeling of your tongue swirling around his finger made him even harder if that was possible. He stood up and took off his boxers, throwing them to a random area in the room.

He spit on his hand and pumped himself a few times as he made his way back on the bed.

“Are you ready my love?”

You spoke breathlessly “yes Aoi, please.”

He aligned himself and entered you slowly, going inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you. A moan leaving both of your lips.

“And correction my love, I don’t fuck you” you furrowed your brows but that expression quickly changed when he pulled himself back until only the head of his cock was inside you and he bottomed out again in a swift movement, “I make love to you.”

He leaned down placing his forearms on either side of your head slotting his lips against yours. His thrusts slowly increase in speed. He breaks the kiss to praise you.

“My beautiful girl is so talented. You look so gorgeous right now. So fucking beautiful, I love you Y/N. I love you so much.”

“Aoi, feels s’good. Please I’m gonna cum soon. You fill me so good, like you were made for me.”

You wrap your legs around his waist and he slides his hand down between the two of you to rub circles around your clit. Your moans start increasing in pitch signaling that you’re going to cum. You bring your hands to his back and rake your nails down, digging into his skin, sure to leave marks. His ruts increased in speed bringing you to your orgasm.

“Fuck baby you’re clenching my cock so tight. I’m gonna cum so deep in your pussy baby. I’m gonna fill you up every single day because now you are mine.”

He emphasized each word with a hard thrust. He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Once he cums he sinks his teeth in trying to conceal the guttural moan that leaves his mouth. Coming down from his high he lifts his head up.

“I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to—”

“There’s no need to apologize Aoi, I’m sorry about the scratches on your back.”

“Don’t apologize pretty girl, with how often we’re going to be making love I’ll get used to it.”

He slowly pulled out and you felt the cum leak out of you. He picked you up and carried you bridal style to the shower. Let’s just say both of you were lucky that the neighbors were gone for the night.

~1 year later~

The both of you have been together for a year and four months. Todo was by your side the entire time throughout the divorce preceding. Comforting you and supporting you the entire time. Once your divorce was finalized your relationship received an official title.

Both of you were extremely happy but there was the voice in the back of Todo’s head that gave him doubts. When he went to go engagement ring shopping with Valerie the voice was there.

As he picked out the perfect ring for you the voice was there. His head was filled with doubts. Of course he loved you, he loved you more than anyone or anything in the world. He knew you loved him. His love for you was immortal, unconditional but he wasn’t so sure if it was the same for you.

That voice in his head hammering doubts over and over again it made him nervous. He started to wonder if he should bring the ring back. If he should change his mind. It was that voice.

“What if she gets tired of you like her husband did with her? What if she finds someone better than you? What if she doesn’t love you as much as you love her? Could you handle the heartbreak Aoi? Could you?”

He started getting distant from you, less kisses in the morning, leaving without saying goodbye, barely initiating sex, it made you worried. What if he’s getting tired of you like Declan? You texted him wanting to meet at the cafe after work. He just sent back a simple “okay”.

Reading it made you even more nervous than before. When you were done with work you drove as slow as you possibly could to the nearby parking lot. You opened the door to the cafe and once you looked around you saw Todo there, fidgeting.

“Is he going to end things with me? We were supposed to move to the new house next week.” You wondered to yourself, you both had so many plans for the future but the future is uncertain.

You sat down and it was silent. He nudged your drink over to you and that was the most interaction you got from him since you got there. It killed you to not talk to him and it was killing him too.

“Y/N, I’m scared.”

You looked into his eyes and saw the fear within them. But what could he possibly be scared about?

“Aoi, what’s wrong? What’s scaring you?”

“What if you get tired of me? What if you meet someone better than me? What if—”

“Aoi. Stop that please” your voice started shaking, it broke your heart to see the man you love being plagued with such fears.

“Aoi, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my love. You’re my soulmate. You make me happier than anyone in this world. You brighten up my day, the small things you do make me fall even more in love with you.”

You got up and bent down to hug him. You pulled back holding his face in your hands.

“Aoi I will never get tired of you. I let you leave me once and I never plan on doing it ever again. I love you Aoi Todo, I will love you until my heart stops beating and I will love you long after that. In every life I will look for you to recreate this love over and over again. If I had to go back in time I would go through this all over again just to be right here with you.”

Tears were falling down both of your faces by the time you stopped speaking. You wiped his tears away and he lifted his hands to wipe yours away. He pulled your face closer to his and kissed you.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so so sorry.”

He muttered apologies against your lips and when you both pulled away it was his turn to speak. You sat back down holding his hands above the table.

“I just got scared Y/N. I love you so much and I just can’t imagine my life without you. I look forward to the future with you, I want you by my side through every single endeavor. You’re my everything. You’re the sun that brightens my day. You’re the stars that shine through my night sky. You’re the air that I breathe. I love you.”

You stood up and pulled him along with you as you both walked out of the cafe. You drove the both of you home and once you entered you led him to the bedroom. Once you entered you undid his work shirt and pants stripping him to his underwear. You led him to the bed and sat him down.

“I never want you to question my love for you ever again.”

You kissed him and placed kisses down his body. Little nibbles along his pecs, a flick of your tongue along his nipples, slow sensual kisses until you reached the waistband of his boxers. You tugged at the waistband and he lifted his hips to help you properly take them off.

His cock slapped against his abdomen. You took it in your hand and gave it a few gentle strokes. You placed featherlight kisses from the head of his cock to the base. You took his head into your mouth swirling your tongue around it and letting it go with a pop.

You took your hand and spit on it using it to lube his cock for you and you started to take more of him into your mouth. His moans and groans filling the room along with the sounds of you gagging yourself on his cock.

When you popped up for air looking at him he could swear he just saw a goddess in front of him. Even with your saliva and tears coating your face he has never seen anyone more beautiful than you. Even Aphrodite herself could not even come close to your beauty.

You got up and stripped off your clothing. You pushed him back gently to lay on the bed as you straddled him aligning his cock with your pussy. You sunk yourself down onto him, he tossed his head back into the bed feeling your warm slick walls welcome him in.

You started moving up and down slowly before gaining a rhythm bouncing on his cock. You moved your upper body close to his grabbing his face and making eye contact.

“I love you—ah fuck—Aoi. I love you so much. You fuck me so good. You are so handsome. Thank you for loving me.”

You felt his arms reach around your waist as planted his feet on the ground to pound into you. Once he started jackhammering into you repeatedly hitting your g-spot you felt yourself cumming around him over and over again.

He used this position to pull as many orgasms as he could from you until he had his own and with how tight you were around him it would be extremely soon. You felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Please cum inside me Aoi, please please please. I need you to fill me up please I need your cum.”

He pulled you down and his hips lifted bottoming out inside you, filling you with his cum. You let your full weight go onto him as you were catching your breath. Hard breaths filled the room. You looked at him and kissed him again.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you more Y/N.”

The following week you both moved into your forever home. Todo made dinner and ordered your favorite dessert to celebrate the move. It was also the day that he was going to propose. He knew how much you hated public proposals and receiving unnecessary attention so why not do it at home?

When you were doing the dishes making small conversation on how you saw a documentary about female serial killers he got the ring and went on one knee.

“So all of her victims were just random men who had green eyes, isn’t that—”

“Y/N.”

You turned around and dropped the sponge in your hand. Your jaw drops at the sight of the man you love and the most beautiful ring you have ever seen.

“Y/N, you have made me the happiest man the past year and four months. Time with you has been amazing. You make me feel like I have been floating on air and I never want to come down. I love you so much. Will you continue this journey of life with me, as my wife?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

You bent down to kiss him and he slipped the ring on your left finger. A few seconds later Valerie called, already aware of what Todo was planning to do. You set the date of the wedding six months from the day of the proposal.

The wedding was small and filled with only close friends and family. It was the happiest day of your life and everyone preferred Todo over your ex husband, even your father, who never liked any of your boyfriends.

“I like this guy a lot Y/N, I mean I’ve always liked him.”

“Dad you threatened to hunt him down when we first started dating in high school.”

“Oh honey it’s just dad stuff but that was a promise and it still stands.”

“Dad! He’s not like that, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world and like I’m a precious gem.”

You both looked over at Todo sharing a dance with your mom and when he looked at you, you could see your future in them. Wherever he would go you would be there beside him as his wife.

“this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.” Todo leaned forward and kissed you holding you in his arms. 

“I never thought that one person could make me feel so loved and make me feel so much love for them Y/N.”

Now married life was doing the both of you well. Nothing could tear the both of you apart. Not even the news on your one year anniversary that you both were going to have your first child. If Todo felt like he was on cloud nine before then holding your beautiful, healthy son in his arms made him feel he was in seventh heaven. 

A/N pt2: thank you all for reading this, I’m really excited about how this work turned out I hope you all enjoyed it. This is by far my longest fic so I really appreciate you reading it through. I have much more on the way, if you have any requests my ask is open! Again thank you so much for reading I appreciate you all! — D <3

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

A FMC x Lavinia hurt/comfort fic, where Lavinia comforts FMC or the other way around. I feel really lonely currently.. I'm going through a tough time and I kind of crave some comfort :/ Thank you and sorry for bothering you. Take care :3

Written by @blue-is-the-coolest-color

It felt good to be in the camper again. Between fluffy blankets and surrounded by random books Lavinia has picked up from libraries or bookstores that have interested her. It’s a strange collection, fairy tales and fiction, a few vegetarian cookbooks scattered about the small kitchen area, a few books about animals or fauna. A collection to capture Lavinia’s curiosities of this world.

Speak of the devil. Annisa had to move her arm quickly as the taller woman shifted next to her until she managed to snuggle up close against her, wrapping her arms around Annisa and placing her head on her chest. Annisa rolled her eyes affectionately as she put down the book she had been flipping through in favor of running her hands through Lavinia’s hair.

“You’re very affectionate tonight,” Annisa pointed out, though she really couldn’t blame Lavinia for a bit of clinginess. It had been weeks since they had been able to have a moment alone, but she could tell the ordeal with Rapunzel had caused something short of frustration to play on Lavinia. The girl was distant since she arrived at the camper, deep in thought at moments with her brows furrowed together and lips tight. Annisa had played it off as exhaustion after everything, but now she was a bit more worried as she felt Lavinia cuddle as close as possible.

“Thinking.”

“Ever articulate.”

Annisa teased as she started rubbing circles into Lavinia’s shoulder blades. Soothing the tension that stuck there and causing a soft sound very reminiscent of a purr to leave Lavinia’s lips. The two stayed like that for a moment before Lavinia gently pushed away until she was on her elbows hovering closely. Annisa could see the confusion and frustration in the other woman’s eyes as she waited patiently to see if Lavinia would deflect or if she would say what had been haunting her for the last hour and a half.

“Ranpuzel has killed innocent witches. Simply for being witches, and she wanted to kill me regardless of what it would do to the people of my kingdom. She even threatened the witchling, and yet-” Lavinia’s eyes narrowed slightly in a brief glare as if the reasoning of it pissed her off, “and your friends are really going to let all that go? Even though she’s proud of those she’s slain.”

Annisa listened patiently, not commenting as she felt Lavinia’s arms tense and relaxed with the statements, as if Lavinia was trying to keep from letting the anger consume her more than it has.

“We are not unalike.”

Lavinia admitted reluctantly, as if the statement was acid in her throat.

“We both grew up in less than ideal situations, used or thrown away, isolated, forced to struggle for years. We crawled out of it in different ways, killed people, did horrible things in the name of our own selfish justice or reasoned it in whatever way. We both-”

Lavinia trailed off hard and Annisa had to fight the urge to brush the long silver hair out of her face as it slipped from her shoulders. There’s a pain in Lavinia’s voice, on that Annisa hadn’t heard too often from the other girl before.

“Gothel,” Lavinia tried to articulate what she wanted to say, but it’s choked and Annisa feels her heart break at the sound.

“Lavinia,” Annisa pushed herself up a bit as Lavinia hastily rubbed at her eyes and tried to go back to how she was laying.

“Forget it, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not,” Annisa argued as she let her hands move to Lavinia’s face, trying to get the woman to look at her, “it’s hurting you, so it’s not nothing.”

Lavinia looked away, a bit of shame crossing her face.

“I was once a student of Gothel. There was a time, back when I was young, that I wanted to be strong and feared like her. Because then maybe I could hold on to the things that mattered to me, then maybe-” Lavinia’s eyes darkened and she tried to turn her head as to no look into Annisa’s eyes, but Annisa still saw the tears the threatened to spill over, “I was orphaned when I was very young, I couldn’t use magic, I was alone. Gothel had this power and I wanted her to teach me. She didn’t at first, but decided I was amusing and worth playing with. She’d send me on these ridiculous errands and I’d do an insane amount of magical research to try and convince her I was worth her time.

Then my magic appeared, my ice alignment made itself known and suddenly I was the only student Mother Gothel wanted to teach. She taught me spells she wouldn’t utter to the other witches in her coven. It felt like she had taken me under her wing. I would have done anything for her.”

Annisa listened quietly, horrified by the raw pain that had claimed Lavinia’s throat. She had known Rapunzel was a victim of Gothel, but hearing that Lavinia had also been a target caused her heart to ache for the woman in her arms.

“She told me about how she planned to kill the ice king and needed my help. I was important to this mission and she needed me to follow her orders to the T. I was so excited to help her, to make a real difference and to take down the Tyrant who abused his power and caused the mass slaughter of so many magical beings in the ice kingdom. The king liked to set up his own witch hunts where he’d release a witch he had captured into his private woods to hunt down and kill. Our plan was for me to get captured and to wait for Gothel who would come and stage a breakout. During the panic she would kill the king while I distracted all his guards with a permafrost spell I had read about in a book.

So I did my part, I let the king catch me and I lived in the dungeon underneath the castle. I waited for Gothel to appear. I waited weeks, starving in a dark wet cell. I was so hungry, I hadn’t felt hunger that strong since arriving at the orphanage. Eventually it was my turn to be hunted, and when they let me into those woods I decided I would kill the king myself. So I used an old spell Gothel had me test a while ago and I slaughtered almost all of the king’s men in the forest. And then I killed him and sat on the throne covered in blood and announced that the king had fallen.”

“Gothel had left, abandoned me there, then had the nerve to show up two weeks after my coronation and demand I give her magic in exchange for teaching me. We fought and I threw up the magical barrier around my kingdom using one of her spells for spite.”

“I guess that explains how you don’t age.” Annisa interrupted and then almost hit herself for such a sudden outburst, but Lavinia nodded.

“I don’t age because it’s the same spell Gothel uses to steal magic, only my people can refuse to give me their magic, they offer up their magic to keep the barriers around the kingdom, so I guess in a way I’m not giving them much of a choice.”

Lavinia sighed, balancing herself on one arm for a moment to run a hand through her hair.

“I let all my pain get the better of me, and I hurt more people because I was too afraid of losing my newfound power. I wanted to keep everything out, because that’s how everything could stay safe,” Lavinia shook her head, “I sound like a maniac.”

“Lavinia, it doesn’t matter what you did before, all that matters to me is that you’re trying to do better now,” Annisa flashed the other girl a soft smile, “what Gothel did to you was horrible, and you shouldn’t have had to suffer to feel like you weren’t alone.”

“But I always am, somehow.”

It’s so quiet and heartbreaking to hear Lavinia’s voice like this. Annisa’s smile dropped as she tried to process the hurt, pain, and anger flashing through Lavinia’s icy eyes.

“To have a chance like Rapunzel has been given. To actually be allowed to keep writing my story without having to hurt you more to do so. I’d have to bend over backwards to be given a quarter the chance at redemption that she’s been allowed after everything. Why? Because her story deemed her a hero despite her murders and crimes?”

Maybe weeks ago Annisa would have said something to defend Rapunzel, defend why she should be given chance after chance where Lavinia shouldn’t. Lavinia dropped her head back to her shoulder in frustration.

“...You’re mad because they won’t give you that chance,” Annisa commented as she wrapped her arms around Lavinia’s shoulders, keeping her in place when she felt her start to shift, “I didn’t think you cared so much about what they thought about you.”

“I don’t,” Lavinia grumbled into her shoulder, “but I know it would be easier for you if they trusted me to keep you safe at least. Then maybe you wouldn’t have to sneak around to see me.”

Annisa held the woman tighter, placing a firm kiss to her head as she felt her relax into her arms.

“They’re not all against you. Arin wants to give you a chance, and I could convince Oliver to as well. And you have me.”

“As long as I have you.”

Of course the melting queen would sneak in some sweet nothings while they layed there, Annisa couldn’t say she was surprised by the familiar affection in Lavinia’s voice.

“So you're using me as a pillow here all night? I’m supposed to be home.”

Lavinia smirked, wrapping her arms tighter.

“Stay, please?”

“Oh my,” Annisa pretended to swoon, batting her eyelashes, “did her majesty just say please? To little old me. What a blessing that has bestowed upon my unworthy ears!”

“Brat,” Lavinia laughed, a beautiful light sound that Annisa would kill to hear, “you’re not allowed to leave now, punishment for mouthing off to a queen.”

“You love when I mouth off to you.”

“Maybe.”

The smirk caused Annisa to blush, suggesting a far dirtier joke that Lavinia had opted out of saying.

“I wish I could stay here,” Annisa sighed as she looked up at the ceiling of the cabin, the little snowflake fairy lights making her smile, sinking her fingers into unbelievable soft silver hair as she felt Lavinia tilt to head, eyelashes brushing against Annisa’s neck in soft butterfly kisses, “I love being this close to you.”

Lavinia hummed her agreement as Annisa’s fingers scratched at her scalp and wandered through her hair.

“It’s certainly a treat, watching the Ice Queen melt just for me.”

“You’re the only person worth melting for.”

Annisa hated how her mind immediately flashed to a certain snowman character from a Disney movie. She couldn’t control the way the giggles shook her form. Lavinia propped herself up on her arm, trying to look bored but the soft look in her eyes betrayed her horribly as she watched Annisa laugh at a joke she didn’t understand.

“Remind me that I need you to watch a movie with me.”

Lavinia hummed and let her fingertips trace patterns into Annisa’s arm before bringing her hand up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss that caused Annisa to blush.

“Do you really have to leave now?”

“I guess I can spare five minutes.”

Five turned to an hour, but it wasn’t like Annisa was complaining.

[angsty-omi]

the friend zone.

levi ackerman x reader

no proofread— i wrote this at 4am

tw: mentions of blood, cursing, and levi being a fucking dick.

out of all the comrades in the survey corps, levi only fancied a few amount. hange, erwin, and you. you couldn’t understand why, it wasn’t like you were any special. honestly if you didn’t dye your hair pink using a mixture of berries and flour, he wouldn’t have even noticed.

it all started when everyone was in an ordered formation, while levi eyed down every single newbie. not necessarily saying anything, just staring into their soul. until, you caught his eye, and immediately he skipped over everyone else to face you. the people before you in line sighed with relief. maybe he was here to compliment my hair or critique my stance. it was none of that. in fact, he blew your knees so you’d fall forward. under your ragged pants, you could feel the skin on your knee starting to bleed. you looked up at him with shock, and he grabbed the back of your hair putting you much closer to his face. you couldn’t help but admire his tired eyes, or his wrinkles from furrowing his eyebrows. aside from that, he’s actually quite handsome. his voice interrupts your thoughts.

“scrub this shit off or else i will feed you to them” levi scolded and shoved your head onto the ground.

them as in the titans? you feared. as you looked over the other commanders, they inadvertently looked away from the two of you. you politely complied, and hoped he and the others ignored the tears running down your face. once you got to your quarters, you went straight to the shower. the color was slowly but surely getting off, showing your brown hair underneath. it’s been a while since you’ve seen your normal hair color. back in your village, you were known as the one with the artsy look, which was basically a polite way of saying the weird one. the shower head was also burning your fresh wounds from that morning and then some. you couldn’t help but think about your experience with levi and how he a complete dick he was. you swore to never get close to him nor acknowledge his presence unless required.

so how did you get here? leaning back on his chair with your feet on the table, waiting for him to come back from training the new fleet. shortly after, your not-so-fun first encounter, levi warmed up to you through back and forth banter and snarky comebacks. you’ve learned his lingo, when he says “i hate you,” it means the opposite— to the extent of “you’re okay.” if he says, “brat,” then he actually likes you. it’s the people he doesn’t remember the names of that should be scared of him. you read him like a book and vice versa.

he knew you, a bit too well. over the past few months, he could tell that you’ve started to like him afar from just friends. while he loved you as a comrade, his heart did not have the capacity to have an actual lover. so, he’s been hinting for you to not confess. scared is a term he never uses, but this was one of the few that did. levi was never scared of titans, literal human-eating monsters, rather, he was scared of you confessing your feelings for him. as the meticulous man that he his, he anticipated that today was the day that you’d express your feelings. how? over the past week, you’ve been trying to pry any sort of response for your unrequited feelings. while you thought you were slick, levi knew. that’s why he stalled the new members by running strenuous amounts of laps, because once he came back, you’d do it.

levi couldn’t hide from you any longer. with his hand on the knob, it slowly turned. there you were, with a bright smile on your face greeting him. it warmed his heart, platonically. your heart, however, was beating a million times faster once you saw him. you understood rejection was a high possibility, but you were at your limit.

“levi?” you fretted.

he nodded in response.

“you should sit down,”

levi took in a deep breath, knowing that this was the talk.

“i think i’m in love with you,” your eyes glossed. talking about your feelings always made you cry.

silence was your answer. even though, you knew this was a high chance, damnit did it hurt. you’ve been wounded by titans, and yet, this hurt the most. seeing levi’s face conflicted, trying to find the words to say to kindly reject you.

“y/n, listen you’re great. i love how you make me smile, your dumb jokes, snarky comments, and shitty roasts. but, i’m not in love with you, nor do i think i will ever.” he expressed, not looking at you in the eye. thinking, you were about to breakdown and cry, he was surprised to you see a stoic face.

“good, because i have other news.” you sighed, with a stressed out hand rubbing your temple.

news, what other news? what has she been keeping from me? levi wondered.

“my parents have found me a husband. at first, i completely shut it down. but then, starting to think of it, it would be nice to just leave and live a normal life. i was truly, truly, considering it but my love for you had to be addressed.”

“and i guess, since we’ve cleared that road... i’m leaving levi,” tears started dripping down your cheeks. looking up at levi, he had the same monotonous face. you couldn’t read what he was thinking.

“say something please” you begged.

“get out.”

“what?”

“i said get out.”

“what? why? you don’t even want to talk about this?”

“what is there to talk about? you’re leaving for some comfy lifestyle and ignoring reality. y/n we are literally dying every day. no one has the opportunity of being able to just leave. and yet, here you are leaving. you’re such a fucking pussy, i can’t believe i ever let you get this close. i was right when i first met you, you’re just some privileged girl who wanted to see a change of scenery.”

the love of your life just ended your whole career. but what was more upsetting? was that he was right. you were afraid. seeing all your friends dying was detrimental to your mental health and you saw this as a way to escape.

“you’re right, i am scared. of everything. but levi think to yourself why have i stuck out this long? why have i allowed myself to continue to serve after seeing all my comrades being ate up like chicken wings? because of you. i’m so fucking in love with you that i could handle all that. but if i don’t even have you what do i have left?” you sobbed.

“you still have me! just not that way and why does it have to be?”

“because seeing you so touchy with petra hurts. it fucking hurts seeing the man you love fall in with others!”

“seriously levi, tell me to my face that you don’t like her.”

again with the silence. something so loud, but so quiet.

you angrily slammed the door closed. your five year friendship, gone just like that. you leaned your back against the wooden door, slowly sliding down not feeling your legs. your sobs were loud, apparent that levi could hear it from the other side. if he could, he would. as soon as you felt your legs, you left.

once you got to your quarters, you grabbed your suitcase trying to pack as many things blindly. only ten minutes in, and you heard a knock at your door.

“leave me alone, i understood your message completely and now am leaving.” you screamed, knowing exactly who it was. the door slammed open with heavy pressure.

“what do you want levi,” you cried.

you felt arms wrap around your back with a head nestled into your neck.

“i think i’m in love with you too.” he whispered so quiet, that if you weren’t listening you’d miss it.

“you’re just saying that,”

“no i mean it. selfish enough, the thought of you being happy with someone other than me physically hurts my heart.”

now you’re silent.

“from the day i first landed my eyes on your ugly pink hair, to now you always had my attention one way or another. but it’s like, if i’ve accepted these feelings it’ll hurt even more if you die. i buried it down. down so far that on the surface it felt platonic. but your dumbass dug it back up.”

you swiftly turned around and pressed your lips against his. his eyes shocked at first, but then slowly melting into your lips. both desperate to show the other how much they mean to one another.

as you slowly pulled away, he instinctively moved forward which made you laugh.

“does this mean we’re something?” you gleamed.

“y/n” he said heavily.

your face dropped once again.

“you’re fucking ridiculous. are you serious levi?! i’m not going to wait for you forever. god knows how long i’ll live, and i won’t be dragged around like a little puppy.” you scolded, furious at yourself for thinking he changed.

you continued to rummage through your clothes and decided that it was enough.

“goodbye levi, i hope when you figure all your shit out you’ll finally be happy. whether it’s with yourself or with petra, but it sure as hell ain’t me.” you tipped your head at him, tears still blinding your eyesight.

if you had looked behind you, you would’ve saw levi crying. it wasn’t dramatic— no, more like tears were slipping that he himself didn’t even notice. this was the life he chose, and he knew he couldn’t get close with anyone. his young self never thought he would’ve found someone to truly care about. and if it meant letting his soulmate go, then so be it.

[vrishchikawrites]

About YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids Post-WWX Arrival

Dear Dee, feel free to delete or ignore this or post it, whatever floats your boat. This just stuck in my head after those posts and I had to blurt it all to someone. Thanks for taking the time to read my word vomit.

So I had to do this instead of an ask because it got long and I wasn't sure how many asks it'd need or how short I could cut it down without losing parts of the argument. And then other things came up as I was writing and, well.  Well..... >_>;;;; 

But you know, after that post/ask you had about YZY fics saying 'Fuck U' to YMJ/JFM & leaving both with her kids, I had a sarcastic 'yeah right' attitude about it. Mainly due to a lot of negation emotions to such an abusive (and delusional) bitch, partly due to how she wouldn't do that since it doesn't seem to be something her sort of character would consider either because she'd think of it as 'losing' (losing what, IDK, it's why I consider her type of person crazy) or she legit wouldn't think about such a viable action.

But then later, in the shower, I seriously went 'Wait, she can't fucking do that' and it wouldn't be about how MXTX uses her as a part of the narrative but entirely about the/their culture in the novel; the actions that have and would be taken in response; and her entire toxic personality as well.

1) We already know that the sects and the cultivation world in general is sexist, elitist and so Capital T 'Traditional' to the point that it's starting to petrify and any deviancy from this is an exception rather than the norm. YZY might be a madame of a great sect (for what that's worth considering how shit of a madame she's been and the titles she's chosen for herself) but she's still a woman even with her high rank and the things she's personally accomplished.

Even if she was in her rights to leave a 'bad' marriage, she'd be the one who'd get scolded more instead of JFM by her natal family, her former husband's family and by their entire society at large even if she had a few singular supporters. Because That's Not How Things Are Done in their society and I do believe that such a thing was rare even when it was accepted method by the upper echelons. Especially since it would have to be done by more than YZY simply deciding that She Wants Out and just- goes and Gets Out. With no serious allegations that would allow her to divorce or separate from YMJ/JFM without the input from her family, JFM's family and, I think, possibly some measure of compensation as well. And no, having or bringing in a 'bastard child' is not a serious enough offence for such a humongous decision. I think something more along the lines of treason or crimes against multiple, high-ranking parties would be more along the lines. Maybe.

And even if she does this, she'd be considered 'Used Goods' (such a terrible comment) and there'd be no other good/proper marriage prospects for a divorced woman with children let alone a woman like YZY with her entire abrasive personality and attitude put off even easy-going JFM.

(If she'd been widowed then it'd be more forgiven but I consider that a Real Bad End since, IMO, it would lead to the sudden and inevitable decline of YMJ either via mass exodus of disciples and/or residents of LP; being merged with another sect due to it's unstable leadership; or create an internal political war 'cause I bet you anything that the YMJ Elders/relatives (if they have any) Would Not Want YZY in charge of YMJ when she's already proven herself such a shit betrothed let alone madame.)

2) Speaking of families, while YMJ/JFM/LP as a whole might be glad to see YZY's back, I don't think her natal sect, MSY, will be glad to see her come storming back after all the effort they put into getting that particular marriage alliance with YMJ. And if she brings her children with her? Oh man, oh boy- mother or not, that could be considered as kidnapping or line theft (is that a thing?) especially if YZY is also seriously considering divorce proceedings and raising them as Yu and not Jiang. That could give leave to, for anyone more unforgiving and maybe JFM if he's pushed enough, disown both JYL and JWY from the Jiangs through no fault of their own (though I'm sure YZY would make it so as well as blame JFM for her own decisions and mistakes).

Therefore, any inheritance or benefits they might gain for being legitimised children of a great sect are forfeited. JYL will likely lose that betrothal with JZX because JGS will drop it like a hot potato and JWY won't be a sect heir because YZY literally decided to remove that by deciding to raise JWY as a Yu, no matter their blood relation to JFM. They leave him, they leave YMJ and everything attached with it. Which is if YMJ/JFM doesn't demand MSY to give back their heir/ess and to punish YZY for her actions. Or send all three of them back for the appropriate reactions/decisions.

Their society would demand no less in reaction because, to them, it would seem like YZY had gone mad and JFM would look weak (or weaker) and imply that YMJ is vulnerable and exploitable if JFM doesn't do something in response to her actions. That's not even getting into what the other smaller sects may try to do in an attempt to curry favour with YMJ or what LLJ or QSW would try in order to destroy or diminish YMJ. And whether JFM chooses to demand his children back or not, it may not change the fact that this may give him reason enough to choose a nephew or niece to be the new sect heir especially if, even after getting rid of YZY's poisonous influence, JWY grows up to be his mother's child more than his father's or even his own person.

Either way, such a thing would bring great backlash on YZY, and MSY as well as the collateral. No one would want to give face to her or her children because it would bring up some very uncomfortable questions and scenarios to the other sects- specifically, what would happen if the female members of their clans/sets decided to follow the footsteps of YZY and leave with their children and heirs. Especially if they use it as an excuse to leave for their own comfort and whims and not some legitimate wrongs and dangers. That would create some more restrictions on women thanks to YZY

3) And lastly, if any one of those idiot YZY stans think that she'd ever give up the status of being a madame of a great sect they'd be as crazy or crazier than her. YZY is all about status and power and face. Specifically, her status, power and face and how people in her reach reflect her or 'insult' her. She is a selfish, terrible, abusive and toxic person and can only see people in regards to how they would benefit her and the elevation of her and in no other way. Especially her family. They cannot be their own person, they can only be an extension of her and gods forbid they go against her.

We can see this in how she treats the people she supposedly loves. JFM? Arguments day in, day out along with accusations and slander of cheating, having one(1) supposed 'bastard' and being 'in love' with CSSR. Which all seems sus as hell. And that's when she's actually there and not out 'night hunting'. Even her 'training' seems to border on unhelpful rather then helpful if my vague recollections of juniors fainting from exhaustion can be relied upon (please call me out if they're not or find proof).

JYL? Berated by not being 'strong' but not helped at all to be 'strong'. It doesn't help that YZY seems to believe in the same standards strength in their society- that is, of martial masculine strength which does not and should not apply to JYL who has been said to be sickly. Which means h should have been learning a different way of cultivation/fighting anyway.  If that was something she wanted and had been offered in the first place- which I doubt. That isn't even getting into her repeated generational trauma mess of a betrothal which was decided only by those 'sworn sisters', accepted by her as a way out of her terrible home life and puts her squarely within reach of JGS who we know to be a womaniser, rapist, predator and a possible ephebophile considering we don't know the exact age of his youngest 'conquest' or the age of MZY's mother when they met which could be anywhere from 14 to 21.

JWY? Gods, so much meta on him and his(non-) relationships with his parents that I don't think I can contribute more to it. It's been all said and done. Unless people want me to stir the pot by saying that, maybe, just maybe, YZY resents JWY as much as she 'loves' him.Either because he's her son and yet never manages to 'accomplish as much' as WWX or because he's a boy and therefore, more benefits and allowances than a girl/woman- more than anything that YZY ever got without either a fight or screaming at someone about. *shrug*

So, in conclusion to this sudden an unexpected essay that I wrote(I'm so sorry about that, I thought it would be shorter -.-;;;;), YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids? Impossible. Not without some sort of personality transplant or a complete AU. She's too prideful, too bitter, too angry, too everything negative and little positive. She's a resentful product of the values and restraints of her society taken to the extreme negative with a willingness to inflict her pain on others to an abusive degree. But she's also too obsessed and reliant on those same values and restraints to keep up the image of her status. So her? Giving those up? You'd be more likely to see WRH as a doting grandfather than that.

---

Dee - All of this is true and yes YZY leaving YMJ is highly unlikely. While there will be consequences if she decides to leave, she does canonically lives separately from her husband. They seem to be in a situation where they are married but living separately, which was a common way to end a marriage (at least in spirit) back then. She essentially had all the perks of being Madam Jiang but fulfilled none of the responsibilities.

Afaik, her training the Jiang disciples is a donghua thing? I may be wrong but I recall she spent most of her time nighthunting.

As for taking her children along with her- that's completely impossible. At that point, children were the property of the father. She could leave but she would've never been allowed to take JC.

[deceasedanddesist]

unrequited ( lily evans )

this is for @strawberrywafer​‘s 300 writing challenge 

pairing: lily evans x griffyndor!reader

fem! reader ( pronouns are not specified )

warnings: lots of angst, not a happy ending, mentions of homophobia, lots of talk about emotional turmoil and pain.

notes: i love me some angst, especially if its sapphic. i personally have experienced being in love with your straight best friend and I may or may not have cried writing this. enjoy :)

word count: 2.2k

you were in love with your best friend. it was the most gut wrenching form of self sabotage that you could fathom, and the worst part was you couldn’t even be mad at her, or even james potter for that matter.

its not like you couldn’t see the appeal, i mean he was stuck in the same boat as you. almost. if you didn’t see her subtle double takes when he walked into a room or the lingering disappointment in her eyes when he did something ridiculously immature, you probably would have bought the half-hearted glares and demeaning nicknames. if only you hadn’t paid so much attention to her striking emerald eyes as she watched the back of his head at the first feast of seventh year, you probably would have been fooled along with everyone else.

that was when you knew you were royally fucked, because she just didn’t seem into it this year. at first you tricked yourself into thinking it was because she was finally sick of him after all the years of extravagantly expressing his undying love for her, but a few weeks into your final year at hogwarts you knew. you knew it wasn’t because she was tired of him, it was because she was tired of pretending she didn’t love him back.

so no, you weren’t mad at james potter, in all of his arrogant, quidditch all-star glory. and you weren’t mad at lily evans—but who were you kidding, you could never be mad at her. you realized the anger you felt, that burning, self destructive pit in your stomach, was directed at yourself.

how could you let this happen? it had been in fifth year when you realized the feelings you harboured towards your roommate were not something a friend should feel for a friend. you kicked yourself for it then and you do the same thing now, because you always knew the red-head talked about james potter too much for it to just be out of hatred. what was it that you were always telling her, “there’s a thin line between hate and love, lils”, and it felt like you took a stake to the heart when you found out that she began to look at him with something in her eyes that you knew oh-so well. it was the one thing you and potter had in common.

then they were together, it happened faster than you could say quidditch. one minute james potter was professing his love, as per usual, and none of your peers looked twice at the impromptu great hall confessional. well, until people realized lily wasn't yelling and calling him an ‘arrogant toerag’. 

you knew it was coming, and as much as you wanted to squeeze your eyes shut until they’d have to be pried opened by marlene, you forced yourself to watch as she finally said yes to the love of her life. you don't know why you did it, looking back, you would’ve walked out as soon as you came to the realization. maybe you felt you deserved it, after all, your parents aren't very supportive of who you love. maybe your mom’s world-crushing passive aggressive comments, or your dad’s suggestion about sending you away to some church town in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere were finally getting to your head. 

they found out this summer, unbeknownst to all of your friends and peers. you still aren’t quite sure what happened, all you knew was that they found a more than friendly unsent letter to a beautiful red-head, and you certainly didn’t think your life could get any worse.....until now. 

you hadn't realized your head had gone off into space until mary macdonald nudged you back into reality, giving you time to evaluate the situation. 

lily had sat back down and began to furiously blush, while james was getting patted on the back by people from numerous houses, even he himself looked quite shocked she actually agreed to go out with him. 

you told yourself you tried to listen to what lily was telling the group of girls, but in reality you were accumulating strategies in your head on how to slip away unnoticed to go cry somewhere. you didn't want to hear lily talking about where james was going to take her, and you certainly weren't gonna listen to her go on about how hard it was to keep up her resolve all of these years. 

so you left, and when you looked back, she hadn't even glanced your way. 

it didn't even come to a surprise to you that you were easily forgotten, and you hated yourself for it. you hated yourself for ignoring the obvious fact that lily evans and james potter were always meant to be together, and you hated that you would ignore factoring it into the equations you imagined in your head.

you hated being out of control, so you focused on the one thing you could. staying away from her. 

it was completely selfish. you knew it, and so did marlene, mary, and dorcas. but you didn't give them time to convince you, because in your head this was the only option to help you get over her. 

you walked into the dorm after you got confirmation lily was asleep, and you were gone before she woke up. lily didn't have any idea why and you almost felt bad for her, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. why? because she's the one that gets a happy ending, and the absence of one friend ( no matter how important you were to her ) isn’t going to fuck that up. 

you were unlucky enough to get the short end of the stick, and it made you want to scream. the pressure of doing good on your n.e.w.t.s so you don't have to spend another suffocating summer with your parents, and now, with all of this unexplained weight on your chest that you have yet to figure out how to get rid of. it was infuriating, and letting it all brew up inside yourself was bound to make a mess later. 

you knew that later would come eventually, but you never knew it would be in the form of james potter. 

the realization came to you as soon as you saw the look on his face as he walked towards you in the hallway outside of the potions classroom you just walked out of. he looked spooked almost, like he felt a severe sense of dread to have this conversation with you. 

“hey.” he dragged it out as the one word left his mouth. yup, definitely dreading this. 

“hi.” you matched his awkwardness, he cringed like he was realizing how stupid he sounded. “you’re here about lily.” 

you saved him the trouble. both of you didn't want to be here having this conversation, and he looked like he was on the verge of a stroke. not the confrontational type, you noted silently. 

“yeah,” he paused and took the time to observe your stance, his brows furrowed almost, like he was wondering why you were so nonchalant about this. “just here to clear up a few things.” 

it was your turn to furrow your brows. clear up a few things? why would lily send james to do her bidding? 

“I don't know what exactly needs to be cleared between us, potter.” you unintentionally spat his name out like it was poison to you. immediately deflating when you saw his face drop, this wasn’t his fault after all. 

“okay, it’s clear that you don't like me, but I don't know what that has to do with lily.” he paused once again before reluctantly continuing, “at first I thought it was because you fancied me-” 

his words were cut off by your laugh, “how heteronormative. no offence james, but you’re really far from my type.” 

his eyes widened, you nodded.

“if lily wants to ‘clear up a few things’ she can come to me herself.” 

you left with the last words, and a bewildered james potter as an added bonus.

it had been a few weeks since that conversation, and you didn’t think lily got the message. well, that was until she somehow bribed mary into telling you she went to sleep early and  managed to clear out the room. you guys always joked that she was the weakest link.

you were dissatisfied with yourself when you found that when you looked at her, all you could think about was how beautiful her eyes were. her red tresses appeared to be lazily thrown up into a bun, and she adorned some gryffindor pyjamas that the school provides you with every year.

you let out a breath you’ve been holding ever since the decision to distance yourself from her. it was like the weight you’ve been carrying was replaced with dread, because now you had to tell her, and you weren’t worried for your feelings, you were worried for hers. one think you knew for sure was that lily evans had an enormous heart, and it would be like passing the weight of your unrequited feelings onto her, and who would want someone they loved to deal with that.

“hi.” you decided to initiate the heavy exchange that was about to occur, you don’t know why you did it.

“we need to talk, y/n”

you just nodded. wanting to hear what she had to say first, you gestured to her meekly.

“i know you and james had a conversation, he told me,” she paused, seemingly collecting herself before she addressed the question that you knew she already knew the answer to. “i’m just a tad confused about the context of your side of it.”

“no you’re not lily.” you whispered it so softly you weren’t even sure she heard you, but the bit of breath she took in out of shock let you know she caught the innuendo.

“i-,” she collected herself once again, “i don’t know what to say, y/n.”

you looked down, because the pitying look she was giving you was going to make you mad if you looked at it any longer. with every utterance of your name, you felt a pang in your chest, the congestion of emotions finally clawing their way out. it was thick and it was coming out of you with the speed of a freight train, you broke the silence first.”

“look, you don’t have to say anything. i know you don’t reciprocate, and i’ve accepted it.” you hoped the one conversation you could never control the outcome of was over, and you did try to leave it at that by walking to your trunk and grabbing your night clothes, but something lily said stopped you.

“why did you keep this from me?” she seemed a bit angry, and the shock of it rolled through you as you processed the tone in which she spoke.

but to her surprise you just let out a wet laugh, wishing she would just let it go and let you sob it out in peace, but before you could even open your mouth to speak she did it for you.

“you just ignored me, like i had no business knowing that you feel this way towards me. it could have been different, you know.” she looked like what she said pained her to do so, and you hated it.

the tears were already flowing freely down your cheeks when you turned back around to face her,

“i was right here lily, by your side all along but you never saw me, did you?” you were full on snot nosed crying now, but you continued anyways.

“i know you’re angry because i’ve been ignoring you, but i just want you to be happy, and that can’t happen if you know i’m in love with you.”

“why-”

“because i’m around you constantly, lily. you’d never forgive yourself for not reciprocating, so we’re better off like this.” she looked like she was gonna disagree, so you added “i know you, and you know it’s true too.”

she took one unconscious step closer to you, to which you stepped back.

“just let me go,” you begged, “it’s better this way, i promise.”

she took one good look at your tear stricken face, “how can you know this is better y/n, look at you.”

you wiped your nose on your sleeve, “i’ve been dealing with this for so long. just let me go, if not for your sake, do it for mine.” she wasn’t going to let up until you looked at her and attempted to once again beg, but it just came out as a silent plea overcome by your fresh tears.

you just looked down, waiting until you heard her footsteps out the door to let your knees give out.

you really hoped all this pain would be better for you in the long run.

[itsthewritergal]

All to myself - D.M. x reader

Happy new year my lovelies :) If you have any requests send them my way! I’ve got a lot more time on my hands at the moment so I’m planning on writing more :) 

As always- lots of love xx 

“You coming down to dinner?” Pansy asked quietly, drawing Y/N’s eyes away from her potions text book.

“Don’t think so, I’ve got to get this done” Y/N hummed sadly ignoring the pain in her stomach from the lack of food

“Ok, I’ll try and sneak you some up later” Pansy grinned walking out of the Slytherin Common Room, Y/N smiled at her friend’s gesture.

Y/N turned back to her potions text book with a frustrated sigh, she had been working since classes finished yet she was no closer to finishing her project. Grabbing a different textbook she hoped desperately that it would explain things in a better way

“You’re working late” Draco said sitting himself down on the desk next to Y/N

“Need to get this potions work done” She said not in the mood for any of his snarky comments

“Can I help?” Draco asked

“Why would you do that?” Y/N said looking at him in confusion

“Because I’m your friend, now what are you stuck on” Draco deadpanned

“Everything we did today” She answered honestly

“Ok, lets start from the basics yeah?” Draco asked Y/N nodded,

To Y/N’s surprise Draco spoke calmly and slowly explaining each potion to Y/N, he was patient, more so than Y/N had ever realised. “So what do you do with the eye of Newt?” He asked

“You add it to the potion and heat until it turns yellow?” She said in a unsure tone

“Is that a question or an answer?” Draco challenged

“An answer” She nodded “You add it to the potions and heat until it turns yellow” She said feeling much better about her answer when Draco broke out into a grin

“Right again!” he beamed “You’ve got this” He said

“Thanks, I had a good teacher” She smiled “I hope you don’t mean Snape” Draco chuckled

“You two look comfortable” Blaise grinned, cutting Y/N off from answering Draco. The moment the words left his lips Draco pushed himself out of the chair and away from Y/N

“You know how it is, didn’t have anyone else to bore me” Draco laughed,

“Thought you couldn’t stand her” Blaise said as they made their way over to a sofa

“I can’t but nobody else was here, what was I supposed to do?” He hummed,

Y/N closed her potions books and stormed up to the Slytherin dorm rooms, anger bubbling up she threw her books at her bed, with a muffled scream.

— — — — —

“Has anyone seen Y/N this morning?” Pansy asked as they sat at the breakfast table, Draco couldn’t help but listen in to the conversation, he had felt bad about what he had said he knew Y/N heard every word of it.

“I’m right here” Y/N said sitting herself down next to Pansy,

“What happened to you? Suddenly find out you were related to a supermodel or something?” Blaise said running his eyes up and down her body,

Y/N fluffed her freshly curled hair and winked at him “Oh no, I just decided to stop being a bore” She hummed turning away from him, the words clearly aimed at Draco.

“You look insane” Pansy grinned

“So good” Daphne agreed

“I know” Y/N beamed,

Y/N spent the day enjoying the looks she was getting as she walked down the halls. Gone was the shy slytherin girl, in her place stood the new and improved Y/N and everyone was seeming to love her. Y/N stood outside the potions class room talking to Neville

“Did you manage to finish your herbology project?” He asked her

“Not yet, I’m thinking I might go to the library after dinner and make a start” She said

“I could come with you, you know if you needed help” Neville said “but only if you want me to, I understand if you don’t want me t—”

“That would be great Neville” Y/N smiled sweetly, she’d always had a soft spot for him, he was the only one who paid any attention to her before she’d dressed herself up.

“Think she’s a bit out of your league Longbottom” Draco sneered coming up and standing next to Y/N “Don’t be an arse” She snapped,

“Y/N” Draco started quietly,

“Don’t even think about talking to me, wouldn’t want to bore you” She growled

Snape ordered them into the classroom before Draco could respond. He cursed himself silently for everything he had said about Y/N to Blaise, now knowing that he really had messed up.

— — — — —

“How was your date with Neville?” Pansy shouted the moment Y/N walked through the Slytherin Common room door

“It wasn’t a date Pansy you know that” Y/N laughed it off “but he was lovely” She added with a giggle

“Malfoy’s been asking about you all evening” Pansy said,

“Good for him” Y/N snapped “Sorry, I just don’t want to talk about him” “He’s the reason you did all this isn’t he?” She asked

“He called me a bore, and said that he couldn’t stand me” Y/N said quietly noticing Blaise’s eyes on her

“Look I know he’s sorry, but I’m going to suggest you make him prove it to you” Pansy grinned with a wink “now are you coming?” she asked sitting herself down with Blaise, Draco and Daphne.

Much to Y/N’s annoyance the only seat was one next to Blaise, which she took crossing one leg over the other she relaxed into the conversation.

Blaise threw flirty comments over to Y/N every moment he could, Y/N didn’t mind too much. But the moment he put his sweaty palm on her thigh she felt herself snapping. Picking it up she shoved it off of her bare thigh, she thought she had made the message clear enough until he did it again, and again, and again.

“You put your slimy hand on my thigh one more time I’ll hex you so hard you won’t live to see next week. Got it?” She snapped loudly,

“If my last moments would be of your face I’d die a happy man” Blaise grinned placing his hand on her thigh once more.

Y/N snapped.

All she saw was Blaise’s stupid smirk as she slapped him.

“Touch me again and you’ll regret it” she said once more

“Come on, what do you expect when you’re dressed like that?” He laughed,

Y/N stood up, clenching her fists she tried to make her way back up to the dorms.

“One for good luck” Blaise said as a hand came down on Y/N’s arse, she turned to him face full of anger. Grabbing her wand she racked her brain for a good hex

“Don’t do something you’ll regret” Draco stood, placing himself in-between Blaise and Y/N, his hand placed gently on her arm

“But he” She started

“I know, leave him to me okay?” He said calmly  “I’ll deal with you later” Draco seethed at Blaise before leading Y/N up to her dorm room.

— — — — —

Y/N stood at the mirror, harshly rubbing a makeup wipe over her face. The false confidence now replaced with disgust.

“You’re going to hurt yourself doing that” Draco commented

“I want it off” She snapped

“Come here” He hummed taking the wipe from her “Do you mind?” He asked his hand hovering over her face, as if he were terrified to touch her. Y/N smiled and pushed her face gently towards his hand, not knowing the words to ask him to help.

Draco tilted her head up to meet his eyes as he gently wiped the make up off of her face

“I was an idiot yesterday. You’re not a bore, not at all. I told Blaise I didn’t like you so that he would stay away as well”

“I don’t understand Draco, why would you do that?”

“Because I’m selfish, I wanted you all to myself. When you came in the great hall all dressed up I hated it because everyone saw what I already saw” He said tearing his eyes away from her and sitting himself down on the bed

“Draco you barely looked at me before yesterday” Y/N hummed

“That’s what you think, there’s a reason I asked Snape to move to the back of the potions class, it’s so that I could look at you. You have this adorable face when you don’t understand something. I couldn’t see it from the front, transfiguration you sit next to Longbottom, and whenever you get a question right he gives you a high five. Charms, you and Granger have a tally of who can get the most marks. Y/N I’m completely enamoured by you and I don’t really know what to do about it”

“How do you know all that?”

“I know it can’t be love just yet, but I think it could be” He said “You don’t need makeup or fancy hair to prove to me that you’re not a bore. If you want to do that then I’ll be here to beat up any guy who looks at you funny but I like you just as much before”

“Are you going to stop acting like you dislike me around your friends?” She asked

“Only if you promise me that you’re not going to fall in love with any of them” He chuckled

“I’ve only got enough love for you Malfoy”

TAGLIST :) 

@whitewineandpizzapuffs

@planet-naptune

@thefandomplace

@sebby-staan

@witch-and-a-half

[wouldpollyapprove]

Child’s Play

Summary:  She will only ever be seen as a child in Tommy’s eyes. That’s what she gets for being Finn’s friend. No matter, her feelings for the man refuse to fade. Finn tried to help her, tried to get something out of his brother, but the man was unbreakable. Y/n decides that maybe it’s time to move and the best way to do that is to avoid him. If she can’t see him then he can’t bother her, right? Wrong. You can’t avoid Thomas Shelby.

Request: Helloo can i request an imagine where the reader is way younger than tommy(maybe around finn's age or between him or john)works for him and has a major crush on him but she's vv insecure bc of her age, grace has already died, and because it's very hard to figure out if tommy likes her or not, so she gets sad bc she really wants to be with him and have children other than his own

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Lanuage, age gap

A/N: I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. Sure, it didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it to, but it’s pretty good either way. Oneshot requests are still closed and I wish you guys would respect that. It’s not all of you, just some. I want to have all my oneshot requests done before I open requests back up and I can’t do that if people keep sending them in.

Masterlist 

Life was hard.

That was a common fact that everyone knew. Y/n didn’t believe herself to be any the wiser for knowing that one simple thing. It just made life easier to deal with. When the market was out of apples or her seamstress ruined her favorite dress, she simply remembered that life is hard. That meant that not everything was supposed to go her way. She didn’t fret over anything, knowing it wasn’t worth it. Life was hard and if it was meant to happen then it would happen.

However, she was young and naive, and those words didn’t always mean as much as they should have. 

Her life became extremely hard when she started working for Thomas Shelby. Y/n had been a friend of his youngest brother’s, Finn, since they were children. The two would often be found creating havoc throughout the streets of Small Heath along with the other children they’d befriended. Y/n never spent much time at the Shebly household, though. Her mother always wanted her home in time for supper with enough time to get chores done before the table was set. 

Finn and Y/n were close, not as close as Finn and Isiah were, but they were close nonetheless. And Finn cared enough to get her a job at his family’s company when she was old enough. It was a sweet offer that she couldn’t pass up. Her parents didn’t bring in much money and what was brought in her father usually spent on beer. So with shaking hands, she entered Thomas Shelby’s office and accepted the job. 

She wasn’t given an easy job, being one of Tommy’s secretaries, but not for the reason she would have thought.

“Don’t tell me it’s still bothering you,” Finn rolled his eyes, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. The two sat across from each other in his family’s private room at the Garrison. It was one of Y/n’s days off and it had been a slow day for Finn so he decided the two needed a drink. Being early in the day, just around noon, the pub was empty except for them.

Y/n leaned back in her chair, a sigh escaping her lips. “Yeah, I mean I see him every day. What am I supposed to do, forget about him?”

Her friend nodded and handed her a drink.

She scoffed, taking the drink. Looking down at the amber liquid, she said, “You just don’t get it, Finn. I know I don’t stand a chance. Fuck, every woman in fucking Small Heath has fallen for your brother. I’m not special and I know that, but that doesn’t change how I feel.”

“God, you really like him, don’t you?” he shook his head, a smile on his lips.

Y/n nodded, taking a sip of her drink. She hated how she felt. She had always been an emotional person. Not everything made her cry, but it wasn’t hard to have tears prick her eyes. She hated being confronted or yelled at because the tears always showed up and didn’t know when to take their leave. And that didn’t change when she started to feel something towards her employer. Those feelings were always present and could never leave her alone. Y/n tried her best to keep it from interfering with her work, but it was hard when the man was always around her.

Y/n hated that she loved, not liked, Thomas Shelby.

“Yeah, I do,” she mumbled more to herself than Finn.

At first, she hadn’t even realized she was falling for the man. But over time, Finn started to notice something was off. He had known her long enough to know when something was wrong and something was definitely wrong. Y/n would have thought that he would be upset with her for liking his brother, but he simply laughed. Honestly, if she was in his position, she would have to. Since then, Finn went out of his way to tease her about it.

“I could probably talk to him for you,” Finn offered, giving her a small encouraging smile.

Y/n shook her head. “I don’t need you to do that, Finn. It’s my problem, not yours.” There was a short pause while she sipped at her whiskey. “I can barely talk to him on my own, it wouldn’t be worth having you do anything.”

He laughed, “Did you ever think that it’s him and not you? Tommy is shit at communicating with people, doesn’t matter who it is. And have you seen the way he looks at you?”

“He has only ever seen me as a child,” she scoffed. “And he lets me know every day.”

“You know he’s not good with feelings, right?”

Y/n rolled her eyes. Sometimes she wished she was as distant when it came to emotions as the man she loved. It would probably make life miserable, but not as miserable as she was at the moment. “What about Grace, uh? He still loves her. And what about Charlie? Tommy seems to be content with what he has.”

Finn leaned forward, looking his friend dead in the eye. “Grace was everything he was looking for in a woman, but that doesn’t make it love. She betrayed him and didn’t do much for Tommy but give him a son. That’s it. He’s moved on.” He shifted in his seat. “Tommy deserves someone real and Charlie deserves a mother. I hate to say this, but I hope it’d be you. You care a lot about Tommy and his wellbeing and if he can’t see that then fuck him.”

Maybe that was true, maybe it wasn’t. Y/n had no clue, but she hoped that there was truth to what Finn had said. She hoped that something would happen. It was stupid, she felt like a school girl all over again, waiting for her crush to make a move. She just hoped that there was some truth to those words, maybe then she stood a chance.

*~~*~~*

A few days later, Finn had found himself over at Tommy’s house, helping him look over plans for a new stable. John and Arthur were supposed to be there, but they both had family matters to deal with. It didn’t matter, though, as the work was small and gave more time for drinking. 

Sitting in one of the house’s many sitting rooms, Finn leaned back in his chair while he watched his brother fetch a bottle of whiskey. The conversation he’d had with Y/n days earlier was still at the front of his mind. He felt bad for her, for the position she was stuck in. Finn knew all too well how hard it was to fall for someone and he remembered Y/n telling him almost the same thing he had told her the other day. He wanted to do something for her, help her out any way he could, but what was he to do? There was little that could be done when it came to his cold, distant brother. Few could get through to him and even fewer could read what he was thinking. But Finn was certain of one thing, the way Tommy looked at Y/n. It was more loving than how he had once looked at Grace. It wasn’t lust, it was love. It was more than just one emotion. It was happiness, love, lust. Anything that sparked joy, that is what his eyes showed when he looked at Y/n. Finn knew his brother felt something for his friend and he was going to get him to admit it.

Tommy reappeared with a full bottle of whiskey and poured himself and his brother a glass. He handed one to Finn before taking a seat across from him. “Are you ready to go to the races?”

Finn looked over at him and shrugged. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been before. “I suppose.”

“There shouldn’t be any problems this time,” his brother commented. Mentioning the races gave the youngest Shelby an idea. “Could Y/n come then?”

Tommy raised a brow, sipping at his drink. “Why?” his voice was flat, not exposing anything. 

“Why not? She’s never been and if it’s supposed to be calm then I don’t see why not,” he explained.

“No.”

Finn frowned and rolled his eyes. “Come on Tommy, why?”

The older brother sighed in frustration. “Because she’s never been and she would just be a distraction for you. Y/n’s practically a child as it is, she’d just get in the way.”

“She the same age as I am! Why can I go but she can’t?”

“Because this is family business and you’re family!” Tommy almost shouted at him. “Y/n probably wouldn’t want to be around a bunch of Peaky Blinders as it is.”

A laugh escaped the younger brother’s lips causing Tommy to frown and set his glass down. “Are you blind or something?” Finn asked, laughing. “Are you? Do you not see that she likes you? It’s very fucking obvious! The fucking king would even notice! Not to mention, you seem to feel the same way. So, why don’t you invite her and make a date out of it?”

Tommy rolled his eyes and decided to stare out the window. He was silent for a long while, Finn sitting restless opposite of him. “She’ll get over it. They always do.”

Finn sighed in defeat. He wasn’t quite sure what he was trying to accomplish but it wasn’t going to happen. Nothing was going to happen. Thomas Shelby was a brick wall, that was how Finn could best describe him. A brick wall that nothing could penetrate. You could throw things over it, but more often than not, everyone fell short. 

Now, what was he going to tell Y/n? He tried, he really did, but there was no breaking Thomas Shelby. He was a selfish bastard that only cared about his own wellbeing. Sure, he’d tell people everything he did was for them, but it was nothing but a lie. He only ever cared about himself.

*~~*~~*

It had been a few weeks since Finn and Y/n had talked in the Garrison and things with Tommy hadn’t improved at all. In fact, they had somehow gotten worse. She wasn’t sure what had happened, but the man was more distant than normal. But only towards her. He never called her into his office to go over paperwork like he used to, instead asking for Lizzie. And he did his best to keep her out of things. Everything she used to be a part of, she was shut out of.

Y/n tired to think nothing of it at first. Tommy was a strange man and his mood changed with the wind. It wasn’t worth it to read into anything. But then there came a point when she had enough and wanted nothing more than to confront Tommy. She told Finn about it but he simply told her to leave it alone, that it wasn’t worth bringing up to his brother, so she didn’t. 

Instead, with all the newfound time on her hands, she was given time to rethink her life. She no longer wanted to be hung up on a man who would never love her back. Why waste her time when there were plenty of men who wanted her? Y/n laughed thinking about all the times she had refused men’s advances because she thought that Tommy would come around. Foolish. Fucking stupid. She was wasting her life and she just couldn’t do that any longer.

So, she wasn’t going to.

Y/n then started to go on dates, they were boring, but it was better than sitting at home, feeling sorry for herself. Some of them worked in the factories, covering dust, and others were businessmen that wanted nothing to do with Small Heath. It was too poor for them, too dirty, too this, too that. It always made her wonder why they wanted anything to do with her as she was a great example of what came from Small Heath. No matter how many dates she went on, though, she found nothing she liked. But she just had to wait it out, the right one would come.

She was only 19, she had time to find someone and settle down. But there was only one man she wanted to do that with.

In the back of her mind, she still had feelings for Tommy, but if she never spoke of them, then she believed they weren’t real. He no longer caused her problems and was only apart of her work life. And as Tommy started to distance himself from her in the office, she decided to do the same. It would help her move on because being hung up on that man would be the death of her if she didn’t.

Putting her finished paperwork in a file, Y/n placed it in a bin on her desk for Tommy to look at later. She stood from her chair, placing a few files on Lizzie’s desk for her to go over the next day and started to clean her own. The door to Tommy’s office opened, but she didn’t hear it close, telling her he was lurking in the doorway, something he was known to do. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he stated.

Y/n shrugged, not bothering to look up at him. “Only because you have.”

He was silent for a second, searching his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. Once found, he dragged it between his lips before placing it between them and liting a match. “It’s nothing personal, Y/n. Just business.”

She scoffed, searching for her bracelet that had fallen off earlier in the day. She thought it landed in one of her drawers, but they were both empty. “Oh, yeah, I figured,” she spat. “Everythings always about business to you.”

Try as he might, Tommy couldn’t fool her. Y/n knew what it was like to not be welcome. To be pushed away. Most of her life, her father wanted nothing to do with her and he often did what Tommy was doing now. Without saying anything, he would just leave her out of things and when she was in the room, he would keep her out of the conversation. The girl was used to it at home, but she didn’t like the treatment at work. And not from someone she cared about.

“I’m glad you understand.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and finally looked up at him. “You’re glad I understand? Understand what? That you’re a fucking arsehole? Yeah, I’m glad I understand that.”

“Y/n I-” he was cut off before he could say anything more.

“I’ve been avoiding you because you’ve been avoiding me. And I know Finn talked to you, I’m not stupid and that boy is shit at keeping secrets! So, how about you just tell me how you feel instead of keeping me from my work? I’d rather know the truth than be treated like shit!”

Tommy didn’t say anything, he just stood there, blank face and all. It was hard to read him, but Y/n didn’t even bother, if he couldn’t give her an answer then she wanted nothing to do with him. 

“Forget it,” she mumbled and grabbed her coat off the hook. Shrugging it on, she headed for the door, leaving Tommy standing in the doorway of his office. 

The man let out a sigh once he saw her slip out the office door. Pushing himself off the door, he went after her. He didn’t know what he was going to say as he wasn’t good at expressing his emotions, but he couldn’t let her leave like that. He’d seen what pushing her away had done, Y/n was miserable yet she pretended to be cheerful and happy. It broke his heart that he had caused that and Finn made sure he knew it. 

“Y/n wait,” he jogged after her once on the street.

She sighed, turning around as he came to a stop. “What now? You want to tell me it’s childish to be upset over this? That it’s just fucking life? What Tommy?”

He shook his head. “No, no. None of that. I just…” He let out a sigh. This was one conversation he should have thought through first. “I like you I do. Fuck, I might even love you, but I can’t risk it. Not with what happened to Grace, not with what’s happened to everyone around me. I can’t do that to you.”

“You can’t do that, but you forget it’s not just your choice. Everyone in your life has chosen to be there no matter what happens,” she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m Finn’s friend, I work for you, so no matter what I’m at risk. So don’t give me that bullshit.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Y/n,” he sighed, a look of defeat in his eyes. “I would rather see you sitting at your desk, alive, then dying in my arms somewhere down the road.”

Y/n laughed, giving him a small smile. Tommy raised a brow at the action, unsure what caused such a reaction. “Life happens, Tommy. We can’t predict it and we can rarely change it. It’s not worth fretting over especially when you’re not in control. But I know how I feel,” she told him. “I love you and I’ve tried not to, but it doesn’t work like that. I love you, Tommy, and I could see a life with you, but if you can’t see that then fine. Just tell me and you never have to hear about it again.”

Tommy took a drag of his cigarette, processing her words. He looked around, distracting himself with the people on the street. Was he ready to risk it? Was he ready to willingly put his heart on his sleeve for a woman again? He wanted a life with Y/n, she was smart, beautiful, and caring. Tommy could honestly see himself with her and maybe down the road, they would have a few kids. “Come one.” 

He tugged on her arm and started walking away. Y/n quickly fell in step beside him. Looking over at him, she asked, “Where are we going?”

“To dinner and I promise I’ll stop pushing you away if you do the same.”

A smile lite up Y/n’s face. She honestly didn’t think she’d get through to him, but the man was full of surprises. She knew that it would take Tommy time to adjust to being in a relationship, she understood that, but she was willing to wait.

*~~*~~*

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[uniqorrn]

Love at First Fall

Draco X Reader:

Summary: The reader accidenlty runs into Draco malfoy knocking him down on the way to lunch. At first, draco finds her annoying and to make it worse he has to share potions class with her. However, Draco finds himself falling in love with the clumsy girl who quite literally falls into his life.

Warnings: Some Angst but hopefully not to much to hurt your little Draco lover hearts. Fluff, and more fluff at the end.

——————

You smiled lightly to yourself as you walked down the corridors of hogwarts on your way to the great hall for lunch. Your arms moved freely beside as you as you skipped down the hallway whistling a small tune to yourself, Your eyes looked around the hallways you walked down admiring the architecture and designs of the walls of the castle you got to call your home every day. You rounded a corner rather sharply, your foot caught on your other one and let out a grunt when your chest hit someone and you fell to the ground with a painful groan. You reached hand up and rubbed the side of your head where it had hit the wall, a small bruise was already forming in the spot and you frowned.

Another gross was heard in front of you, your eyes widened as you looked in front of you. Standing up and sighing I in annoyance was Draco Malfoy the slytherin prince. You were a fellow Slytherin so of course you had seen him in the common room and your classes. However, it was the start of your fourth year and so far you hadn’t seen him in any of your classes.

“I’m so sorry” i said quickly, I stood up a little too quickly because I almost tripped over your own feet on the way up. He laughed lightly at my clumsyness. His eyes galred at me with a gaze that could only mean he was quite annoyed and irritated with me. My face fell as his brow furrowed in irritation.

“Watch where you’re going next time, clumsy” he stated, my face fell again but this time my head moved with it to look at my shoes. He looked at me for a moment, I could feel his stare on me as I stood there. Guilt filled him as he stared at you. He didn’t know what to do, he’d never felt guilty for ever making snarky comments at someone before so why was he feeling this way now? As his gaze softened he studied you, he looked at how the light shined off of your soft smooth silky hair. Your skin looked soft to the touch and all he wanted to do was slowly rub his fingers softly over the back of your hand. And Your smell was entoxicating... the smell of lavender filled his nose which caused his muscles to relax immediately and his heart beat to pound in his chest. His cheeks slowly turned a light pink color, he rubbed his face to try and hide it hoping you wouldn’t see it.

He shook his head, he had seen you around mostly because you were in the same house together but, he had never actually talked to you before. So, why did you have such an affect on him..? He shook his head again, a sigh left his mouth and he repeated what he had said before, not wanting the girl in front of him to think he was nice, one could say. He turned and Stalked off, leaving the small girl there who was playing with her fingers out of embarrassment which Draco found adorable.

It took you awhile to bring yourself back together before you slowly and quietly entered the great hall for lunch. You slipped into your seat back towards the end of the Slytherin table and sighed a sigh of relief when you realized you hadn’t brought any attention to yourself. Your naturally shaky hands grabbed a plate and started to fill it up with some food. As you were setting your plate down in front of you your hands began to shake and you spilled some food on your robes, you went to reach for a napkin but your face fell into a frown when you heard laughs from somewhere at the table. You froze in your tracks, did someone see me spill..? oh god.. are they laughing at me..? You thought to yourself. Your eyes rose up to look around, you looked down the table a little ways to see a group of Slytherin boys looking at you whispering to each other and sharing laughs. You didn’t really care till your eyes landed on that familiar platinum blonde hair. Your face fell into a frown immediately as you watched him share a laugh with one of his friends and look at you.

Tears pricked my eyes as i looked back down at my plate. I quickly grabbed a napkin and cleaned myself up before i started to eat. I weren’t sure why I was so affected by Draco laughing at me. I hadn’t ever talked to him before so why would he affect me..? I pushed the thoughts out of my mind and continued to nibble at my food alone. But, what i didn’t see was the the blonde haired boy was sitting in his seat looking at me with guilt was filling his heart once again as Blaise gave him a friendly push. He brought himself to turn away from you and go back to the conversation with his friends.

————

It’s been several days since the accident with Draco in the hallways and in the great hall. You were currently on your way to your potions class, your books were pressed against your chest as one hand reached out and grabbed the doorknob to the classroom. You were early as always but that didn’t bother you at all. However, when you walked into the room the last thing you thought you would see was Draco Malfoy sitting in the middle of the room. You didn’t know he was in this class.. the thought of having to share this class with him made you nervous in both a bad and good way.

You took a deep breath and walked past the table he was sitting at not paying him and attention to him as you made it to your table. You usually worked alone during potions, no one sat your table because no one wanted to be partners with the girl who wasn’t good at potions. It’s true, potions wasn’t your best subject. You weren’t really sure why because you spent countless hours studying and working on your potions but, no matter what you did you just couldn’t seem to do it correctly.

“Alright, good morning class.” Slughorn said, “we’ll be working with partners today to make the potion, Amortentia. So, move along find a partner”

I mentally cried to myself, I wasn’t ever good at finding a partner to do things with in this class. I looked around and watched as people went from table to table and found partners of their own. I sighed and got out my potions book to start my own potion by myself.

“Mr. Malfoy, I see you don’t have a partner. Why don’t you work with Ms. Y/L/N?”I heard the teacher say. My heart skipped a beat and my hands started to shake as I heard Draco sigh in annoyance and shoot his friends a look that said “help me” my lips formed a frown as he sat down in the furthest seat from me. I sighed and flipped my book to the correct page before reading the instructions;

After reading the instructions you realized what potion you were making. This is one of the if not the strongest love potion in the world and for the next nine days you’ll be working on it with Draco Malfoy. You blushed slightly ans smiled to yourself, maybe you guys could get to know each other over the course of this time.

“Ahem” Draco cleared his throat, “y/n, did you hear me?” He snapped at you. I guess the friendship thing won’t happen.. and wait, he knows my name? your eyes widened and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Go get the water” he said simply before returning to what he was doing. You nodded and moved over to the sink to grab the water needed for the potion. Your hands began to shake as you carried the jar of water back to your table, you mentally kicked yourself for being such a clumsy mess. As you walked past one of the skytherin tables one of the skytherin boys sitting there stuck his foot out in front of you causing you trip over his foot. The jar of water and you tumbled to the ground, the water landing in your lap causing your robes to get completely soaked. Laughs erupted from the other students around as tears pricked your eyes. I finally gave up and let the tears flow freely as I stood up and grabbed my things. My watery eyes glanced at Draco only to see a small smirk was planted on his face. I sniffled and grabbed my potions book and made my way out of the class room.

Draco’s face fell as he watched the girl leave. He wanted nothing more than to follow you and comfort you in a warm embrace. Why couldn’t he just be nice to you and talk to you? He grew frustrated with himself at being so selfish and rude and stood up suddenly, his chair sliding across the floor of the cold room loudly as he pushed his way to the door of the classroom.

“Did you see that Draco! That was hilarious” his friends laughed as he walked by their table, he stopped and gave them a deadly glare and scoffed.

“It wasn’t funny, Blaise” his voice was cold and angry as he responded to them. They slytherins looked st him with shocked eyes and open mouths as he strides out of the door. He looked down both sides of the hallway hoping to find you somewhere but, you were no where to be found.

He took long and fast strides down the hallway as he searched every corridor and corner for you. He didn’t know much about you, but what he did know was that you had an affect on him and watching what happened in class felt like a knife stabbing in his heart. His heart swelled with guilt and sadness. How could He just watch that? Draco was so angry with himself that he let the woman he seemed to care for her hurt.

He suddenly stopped in his tracks when he heard a small sniffle. The prefects bathroom was right around the corner, where the sniffles seemed to be coming from. He slowly entered through the doorway of the bathroom and saw the girl he’d had been looking for over half an hour now sitting in the middle of the floor with her knees to her chest. His heart broke at the sight of her sitting there against the wall.

“Are you okay..?” He knew she wasn’t, but it was the only thing he was able to get out. Her snapped up to look at him, her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She has fresh and old tear stains down her face ans her body shook from the sobs she tried to hold in. She shook her head “no” and hid her head in her knees once again. She looked so weak in front of Draco, his heart hurt seeing her there.

He finally walked towards her, bending down so he was on his knees in front of her. His grabbed her arms that rested in her knees with hands and gently, (not wanting to hurt her anymore than he already had) pulled her shaking body into his. The girl complied and allowed him to bull her into his chest. He held her there gently but tightly hoping to calm the sobs that shook her body. His head rested on the top of her head and his hand rubbed her back soothingly. All of this just felt natural to him so he didn’t hold back his actions.

After awhile her sobs calmed down and her breathing evened out. She pulled back just slightly to peer up at him. Her eyes were still a little bit wet from crying. Draco moves his hand up and wiped away the tears from her eyes with a gently stroke of his thumb.

“W-Why did you d-do you hate m-me..?” Her voice was weak but she still managed to ask. His face fell, he looked down at his lap but kept his arms around her.

“I don’t hate you” he said after a moment of silence. He looked back up at her and swallowed his nerves. She looked at him confused, her brows furrowed and her head tilted slightly which caused the blue butterflies to erupt in his stomach. Everything she did was so adorable to Draco.

“Then why did you do all of those things” he started at the girl in front of him for a minute before answering.

“Because...” he paused trying to find the words to say.

“Because, y/n I think I love you. No.. I know I love you. I don’t know how and I don’t know why I just.. that day you ran into my a few days ago I just couldn’t get you off my mind. You were just so beautiful and sweet. Everything you do I find adorable in some way, everytime your scent fills my nose and I can’t focus on anything but you..” he breathed out. The butterflies in his stomach only fluttered more as the silence continues to get longer. He was about to get up and leave until the girls small hands wrapped around his neck and pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss. Their tongues danced together and their lips moved in sync as they held each other in a tight embrace.

“I think.. no I know I love you too” she smiled and giggled once we pulled away from our kiss. I rolled my eyes playfully and brought her into another hug.

Even though they knew nothing about each other one could say that love at first sight is real..

[scullydubois]

baby, in your kingdom (for valentine’s <3)

read on ao3   tagging: @today-in-fic @iusedtoknowwhatawishwasfor @scullllaaaaayyyy

Mulder proposes to Scully during the Requiem bed scene.

So you may have seen the text post I wrote imagining a version of Requiem where Mulder proposed and didn’t go off to Oregon at the end...I couldn’t stop thinking about that, so it turned into this. This is my favorite prose that I’ve written for a fic, and it might turn into a series someday because this concept is just so rich and worth diving into. Happy Valentine’s Day, and enjoy a treat on me to numb the pain hehe. 

T, 1.7k, more angst than fluff (oops) but the tenderness is there too 

----------------------------

He needs to tell her one thing and ask her another. Should be simple enough, except it never is when it comes to words passing between them. It's in both their natures to leave the sweetest sentiments unsaid lest they lose their luster when voice meets air. And what he has in mind is not exactly the easiest of utterances, neither the former nor the latter. One is the kind of admittance we fear when the phone rings unexpectedly, the other a declaration the unluckiest people go to their graves without getting. Delivering both at the same time is a sin if he’s ever committed one. And for once, he cares what count God has against him. What if he isn’t able to see her again, even in the afterlife? 

He’s been weighing one decision for awhile, looking for the balance between his conviction and her virtue. He could have done it when she came back to him with her baby-faced blush, accepting the cross he clung to in lieu of her. Or when she showed him the x-rays, and they spelled out no hope. When he cried by her bedside and she didn’t stir--he could have done it then, she wouldn’t have known. But it means nothing unless it means everything to both of them, and she wouldn’t have--no, couldn’t have--given him the answer he wants back then. He holds this as the sacred truth that governed him then and will govern him now. He has no room for regrets.

The scuff of their shoes against the baseball diamond was the first time he realized that maybe, maybe this manic impulse of his had some basis in reality. Not a solid one, nothing they could cross a canyon with, but in time…

And then he was inside her brain, privy to her thoughts, and what was an unsound bridge had become a stairway to Heaven only they could climb. Fuck a safety net, he wouldn’t be needing that anymore.

Then he got the call from Billy Miles, and he thought of her ouroboros, and isn’t that what they’ve been doing this whole time? Circling some greater truth that they’ve always known? 

Every circle ends where it begins and begins where it ended. This is what he’s thinking when he spots Billy’s badge, and they glide over the X he painted when they didn’t yet trust each other (but so badly wanted to), and when he lays eyes on Teresa Nemmans and she is not Nemmans but Hoese, and there is a child in her arms. 

Seven years. And what do they have to show for it? What they mean to each other has changed, but it’s not like anyone can tell. He called Scully his partner then, and he calls her his partner now. Oh, the time they have wasted.

But it will be wasted no more. Seeing her with the Hoese baby, cooing a lullaby into its precious ear…seven years ago, he told her of the government’s conspiracy and how nothing else mattered to him. That is no longer the truth.

There is a truth they both know that is stronger than anything. When she appears at his door, flushed and shivering like a puppy left out in the cold, his head and his heart finally hit the same wavelength. He will shy away from fate no longer.

She doesn’t wait to be invited in, she knows his bed is hers for the taking. He lifts her shoes off her feet like he’s kneeling at an altar, wraps his arms around her as if it’s what he was put on this Earth to do. Contrary to popular belief, he has quite a reverence for domestic bliss. He’s been searching for it since his own reflection of it was shattered at twelve years old, and it has finally come to him.

He is scared to death that he’ll fuck it up, but not so scared that he’ll back away. In other words, his approach to everything in his life. It occurs to him then, with his lips on her temple, that he would set his own flame to the office and every X-File in it if she asked him to. If that’s what she wanted. He wouldn’t even have stepped foot back in that haunted place after its first burning if she’d given him an indication that it was not her desire.

“Scully,” he starts, nuzzling her neck, “I was thinking about when you asked me if I ever wanted to stop...if I ever wanted to get out of the car.”

“Uh-huh,” she breathes so faintly that he wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t felt it in her lungs. 

“Well, I do want that. I’ve always wanted that. Remember when we were in Home and I said I’d like to settle someplace like that?”

Scully chuckles against him.

“Obviously not in Home, but you know, some place with the small-town sentiment without the, uh, familial connection.”

“Mm-hm,” Scully murmurs, sensing a larger point that he has strayed from.

“I just never knew how to get to it--I never thought that I could get to it, because I grew up thinking my parents had that, and then I saw they never did at all.”

Scully tucks his open palm under her chin, listening contentedly. 

“So I spent my time chasing apparitions,” he continues, “things I couldn’t see, because I stopped believing in the things that I could. It’s like…the invisible things could surpass my expectations easily, but the visible ones could only disappoint.”

Scully feels cocooned, protected, and warm. She latches her attention to Mulder’s voice to keep from drifting off, kissing his knuckle to show that she’s listening.

“And I’ve realized, Scully,” he says, an edge in his voice, “that it’s a fucking waste of time to live like that. Like doing laps on a lazy susan and wondering why you’re never getting anywhere.” 

“I know,” Scully says, her voice quiet but certain. 

Mulder laughs lightly. “I know you do, that’s what you’ve been saying all this time...I just didn’t see it before.” He kisses her shoulder, lingering in the final moments before doing what cannot be undone. “And so I have something to ask you, but there’s something I have to tell you first.” Rawness permeates his voice. 

At the sound of this, Scully cranes her neck, her gaze falling upon his face for the first time since they laid down. She can barely see his hazel irises through the reflecting pool in his eyes. 

“What is it, Mulder?” she asks, concern pressing up against her urgent need to know.

He closes his eyes, the sight of her too much for him in this moment. What he wouldn’t give to feel like he could live with himself if he kept this a secret.

“I’ve seen a neurologist, I’ve had MRIs, it’s all conclusive. My brain is diseased from whatever Cigarette Smoking Man did to me. Fatal, my neurologist says.”

“Mulder…” Scully sits up, her whole being gravitating toward him. She runs her fingers along the space where she knows he bears his scar. 

“Who told you this? And when? Have you had symptoms…?”

Clearly, she does not want to believe him, and he understands.

“I’ve been going back and forth to appointments for a few weeks. It was just confirmed the other day, I didn’t want to worry you until I knew more.”

“And your symptoms?” 

He recognizes the darkness in her eyes and pucker in her forehead that forewarns tears. “Disorientation, dizziness, memory loss...sometimes I feel like I sleepwalked right through my day. “

‘Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice crackles.

He kisses her hand. “I thought you might go to some dark places if you tried to diagnose me.”

“Well, you’ve just turned the lights out on me with no warning!”

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m sorry...I didn’t know how best to approach it, I just knew I wanted to cause you the least pain possible.”

“You wanted it to be nothing so you wouldn’t have to tell me,” she notes, not accusing, just speaking plainly.

“Well, yes. That would have been ideal.”

She swallows back tears, wrapping her arms around his neck with grave sincerity. “But now I’m here to fight right alongside you.”

This is what they do--have done, for years. Make his pain her pain and vice versa. Hurt hurts less when shared.

Mulder pulls away first, and it feels like peeling off a layer of his skin. Still, this is as necessary as anything he has ever known. 

“That’s why I was wondering--and listening to it now, I realize this is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t know, I thought you might understand...will you marry me, Scully?”

Her breath catches and before she can think of anything else, she is careening toward his t-shirt to cover her tears. She clutches at the material, pulling it from his midsection to her face.

As far as Mulder’s concerned, there’s an elephant stuck in his throat. “I really don’t know what that means,” he stammers.

Scully lets him see her, tear-stained skin and all. “Yes, Mulder, my god yes! Do you honestly think I’d say no to you?”

“I would, especially in this situation.” 

It’s a classic Mulder comment, but Scully’s not laughing. She pulls him in again, just wanting to feel his skin against hers. Their breaths slow in time with each other’s, their heartbeats matching pace. Scully’s lips brush his mole.

She speaks into his skin. “You saved me when it was impossible. I will do the same for you.”

Mulder thought he might hold it together until those words slipped from her lips. The elephant in his throat turns to stifled sobs. 

With silent tears still streaking down her cheeks, Scully runs her thumbs along his lips. Just as she did when they thought his brain was getting better. The love in her eyes is equal to then too.

“My constant, my touchstone, remember?” she professes. “Then, now, and always.” She presses her lips to his forehead, and he thinks she must be healing him.