#and hes starting to play melee for the first time ever

[samarecharm]

Watching a streamer do some joker matches (vs sora) in smash and i forgot how much i looooooove jokers moveset in this game; hes such a little menace ☺️

[zvdvdlvr]

Hi there, friend . Please write if you have time a Soap, Ghost, Price, Alejandro, and Konig headcanons about a male partner with really big veiny hands.Hope you have a pleasent day or night .

- 141, alejandro, and könig with a male partner with large hands

☆ - warnings :: some nsfw topics, coarse language, neck snapping, features sub!könig, usual call of duty violence, male reader, short HCs,

☆ - characters :: john "soap" mactavish, simon "ghost" riley, captain john "bravo six" price, alejandro vargas, könig

☆ - k.j.'s diary says... i haven't written for CoD that much so i apologize for any inaccuracies or any out of character-ness.

kyle "gaz" garrick

SLUT ME OUT, SLUT ME OUT, SLUT-SLUT-SLUT ME OUT

bro was flabberghasted when he saw you gloveless- like, yes, he knows your hands are huge because of how easily you handle massive weapons but god almighty kyle almost started drooling when he saw you flex your hand while stretching your arm

silently admires the way you move in battle, your melee attacks, hand-to-hand, etc.

when you are dating, gaz for sure hints at his attraction to your hands if that wasn't obvious

gets turned on when you pin him to the ground while sparring and it shows

goes off on tangents about your hands when drunk

"they just- *hiccup* -they look so good, y'know? they'd look really nice around my ne-neck" (bro was passed out not even half an hour after saying this)

simon "ghost" riley

encourages you to snap someone's neck while out on the field

"christ, y/l/n" ghost (the first time he saw you do that

was drinking tea the first time he got a hood look at your bare hands

needless to say, tea was spilled in simon's lap

when you're together simon would come up with all these bullshit reasons to see your bare hands

not really into being choked, but would love watching you choke someone out

would ask you if you could choke-slam people

the answer was yes

simon loves being flipped off by you idk he thinks its hot

i like to think that while off duty simon can be a little bitch sometimes so whenever he turns around to go sulk he LOVES when you grab onto his belt loop or whatever and turn his ass around

captain john "bravo six" price

tried to keep his cool

also kept really quiet about his feelings

like

quiet.

loves holding your hand when off duty

so let's say price is the typa guy to enjoy back hugs? even better when he looks down to see your hands wrapped around his middle

has you demonstrate ways to snap/break necks to the newbies while watching with absolute adoration

did i mention price loves hand holding? i did? ok well just reminding you

u dont have to have big hands to know john loves kissing you with one of your hands in his hair and another tugging his belt loop so he's closer to you. hawt.

john "soap" mactavish

smiles widely while watching you snap someone's neck like it's nothing

doesn't even care if you choke him out if you did at least it's by your hands

choking kink question mark exclamation point

loves getting neck/upper back massages (non sexually you pervs) especially after a long day

a true simp.

will praise you till the end of time no matter how many war crimes you commit on the field

johnny likes when you help him trim/maintain his hair

it's such an intimate thing for him and the fact that you're helping take care of something so personal to johnny makes his heart swell

alejandro vargas.

will absolutely bring attention to the fact that your hands are massive

wolf whistles, even.

alejandro thinks it's the greatest thing ever making you flush

absolutely gushes to rudy about it

ok so now ur in a relationship:

ONE TIME alejandro was getting a bit too big for his britches so you stalked up to him and grasped his neck lightly. (if ur taller than him is what im imagining but wtv) ale was turned on

always wants to be touching you or you touching him

when he has free time he'll come find you, cuddle, play with your fingers while tou watch a movie or something

thinks about you jerking him off when you're both in a meeting or in a semi-public space

practically sings praises about how he loveloveloves your hands

könig

ok if your hands are larger than his than yes bro would pass tf out when he realized

would be very quiet about his attraction to your hands but his obvious staring spoke volumes

would immediately want to be slutted out when you had sex with him

plays with your hands when he's bored or really anxious

REALLY into you holding him by his neck and showing you how much he wants to be taken care of

loves when you tend to any sore muscles or wounds

honestly könig wants a simple, domestic life with all of the things hes seen

HAND HOLDING IS A MUST‼

watches you disassemble, clean, and reassemble guns like you didn't have ur fingers in his mouth the night before with a lopsided smile

you both spar together, learning from each other and being the duo that no other trio or group want to fight

together, you both are unstoppable. the admiration and personal connection you both have baffles many

[tourettesdog]

I am having extremely specific and niche ideas I must share. Specifically headcanons for Danny Phantom characters playing World of Warcraft

I feel like Sam would have been the first of them to get into WoW. Something other to play than Doomed, with a heavier focus on questing. She'd play on a PVP server and would be something of a legend on her realm.

She'd pretty much do everything, from hardcore raiding, to achievement hunting, to a little roleplaying on the side with friends.

She'd have two characters she swaps between, a troll warlock and an undead rogue, and would have the most min-maxed gear she can possibly get at all times. A "for the Horde!" girlie all the way. The warlock has tailoring/enchanting for professions, and the rogue mining/jewelcrafting, and she's got every recipe she can get her hands on for both.

I could see Sam trying to get Tucker and Danny into WoW, only to be wildly disappointed with their character decisions as both of them cozy up Alliance-side on a roleplaying realm.

-

Tucker takes one glance at worgen and goes "I'm gonna be a fucking werewolf" and it's all over from there. His main would be a guardian/feral druid (tank and melee dps) with the corniest RP name you've ever seen, and he loves them dearly. He's always looking for new transmog to dress up with, and he takes his mining/engineering professions a little too seriously. He mostly plays with Danny, but probably has a horde alt Sam forced him to make so they could actually play together before cross-faction became a thing (I am being intentionally Vague about what expansions they'd be playing in).

Tucker's horde alt would be a tauren druid that ALSO runs engineering. Pretty much the same character, especially considering he spends 90% of his time in animal forms.

-

Danny would start off playing a night elf monk and would get more into the RP of it than he ever wants to openly admit. He loves all of the flips and shit the monks do, and he's all in on the night elf aesthetic. He swaps between mistweaver and windwalker (healer and DPS), depending on what him and Tucker need to get shit done. He doesn't really focus a lot on the professions, instead going for dual gathering with mining and herbalism so he just has a lot of rocks and plants to throw at Tucker or onto the auction house.

After the accident though, Danny takes a long, staring look at death knights and decides he needs to play one-- for the memes. He's dogshit at it after playing monk for so long, but you can pry his frost (dps) death knight from his cold, half-dead hands.

The DK is just another night elf and when he's RPing, Danny likes to say it's the same character as the monk.

(Also I specifically think that Danny would play a nelf instead of a draenei because, as a trans Danny truther, I feel like the too-buff male draeneis would be a little Much for him, and the femme ones would be too dysphoric.)

-

Val would very begrudgingly start playing WoW with them once she joins Team Phantom. She'd go Horde-side with Sam, with a tauren warrior decked head to toe in red. She quickly gets sucked into the game, and gets a little intense with farming for all of the things she wants-- mounts, cool transmog, some battle pets. She likes to do a lot of content alone, finding it fun to just go off questing, but she'll let herself be dragged into dungeons ever now and then. She just doesn't have the time or energy for raiding consistently.

Val winds up making a bunch of different alts eventually to keep collecting shit, and she gets scary good at gold farming so she can pay for her subscription with in-game currency. She's got a bunch of different professions she runs on her various alts, but the warrior's got mining/blacksmithing since the idea of making her own armor won her out.

-

Dani plays on a laptop bought with Vlad's money, on a subscription also bought with Vlad's money. She takes one look at Val and Sam playing Horde-side and decides there is no other side to play.

She mains a vulpera hunter and is a troll through and through. She lives up to the hunter stereotype of accidentally pulling everything, but makes up for it by being scary good at DPS and PVP. Her and Val do a lot of mog and mount farming together, and some of her favorite things to collect are the battle pets and toys. She's got Meerah's Jukebox (a toy that plays a song about alpacas before exploding) hotkeyed to drop at a moment's notice.

She winds up getting a little too invested in alchemy, insisting she needs to be good at making goop.

-

Wes would not play WoW, and would instead play FFXIV and would never shut up about how much better it is than WoW.

Bonus:

Lancer plays a lot of WoW during the summer when school is out. He's got a human mage who looks a bit like a buff version of him that he's been playing since the game released, and he's got all sorts of achievements and collectibles held onto from that era. He runs herbalism/inscription as a profession, and has every recipe for it under the sun. He still insists on riding his first horse mount that he ever got, and it has a Shakespearean name.

[misshoneyimhome]

500 FOLLOWERS FESTIVAL

My warrior - Laying on their lap as they play with their hair until they fall asleep I Freddie Andersen (*)

Summary; It's a role reversal for you and Freddie as you witness him losing his usual calm demeanour for the first time. Despite typically being the steady one, tonight you must be the rock for him, offering support and stability in his moment of vulnerability.

Tropes & warnings; Frederik Andersen x reader, established relationship; no hard warnings; mention of soft sexual behaviour, sexual intercourse;

Other notes; This part of the celebration is dedicated to all the fans of Freddie out there! 🤗🌺 I know it's a bit brief, and this beloved man deserves an abundance of affection, but I hope you still sense the heartfelt emotions I aimed to express in the post 🤍

Word count; 1.9K

Taglist; @couldawouldashoulda50 @findapenny@justwanderingbutneverlost @cixrosie

➼｡ﾟ

You had never seen your boyfriend Frederik Andersen in a fight before. Sure, he’d been in a few scuffles and had thrown his 6’4” and 238 pounds around in the crease, but an all-out brawl? That was new. Tonight, though, was different. The match against the New York Islanders had been intense, with tempers flaring on both sides and the tension palpable from the very start, with heavy checks and scrappy plays that kept everyone on edge.

And as the second period progressed, the score was 3-2 to the Hurricanes and the atmosphere in the PNC Arena was electric. You could feel the energy of the crowd, a mix of anticipation and anxiety, like a storm waiting to break. The Islanders’ forwards were pressing hard, the defence had to be sharp, and it was during one of these heated moments that it happened. An opposing player took an extra whack at Freddie after he had covered the puck, pushing him over the edge.

Before you could even fully process what was happening, gloves were off, and fists were flying. And Freddie, usually the calm and collected type, was right in the thick of it, trading punches with the Islanders’ enforcer as he was forced down onto the ice. His eyes, normally so serene, were now blazing with intensity, while the benches cleared as players from both teams rushed to support their teammates, creating a chaotic melee on the ice.

The crowd erupted, half cheering, half screaming in shock. You watched with bated breath, heart pounding in your chest, as Freddie held his own, showing a side of him you’d never seen before – fierce, unyielding, protective. He wasn’t just fighting for himself; he was standing up for his team, making a statement that they wouldn’t be pushed around.

Finally, the referees then managed to pull the combatants apart, and Freddie, slightly battered but unbowed, skated to his position in front of the goal. And as he passed by, he glanced up into the stands, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. There was a flash of a smile, a silent reassurance that he was okay, and you couldn’t help but smile back, feeling a swell of pride and affection.

It was a night to remember, a night when you saw a whole new side of Frederik Andersen – the warrior beneath the calm exterior.

_

You had always known Freddie as the calm, towering goaltender for the Carolina Hurricanes. Ever since you met him just over a year ago, he had been a steady rock, his tranquillity almost intimidating. Sometimes, you wished he would break his façade and reveal his true self. Yet, as you got to know him better, you realised it was simply his nature.

He was very much your opposite; always grounded, with few words from his perfectly pink lips, and his breath always steady. In contrast, you were more of a chatterbox, constantly talking and probably oversharing - at least with those you felt comfortable around. When meeting new people, you were initially reserved and held back, but as people got to know you, you’d gradually open up, eventually letting your mouth run freely.

And Freddie had always thought you were the cutest. You were like a dachshund compared to him being a large Golden Retriever. Even from the first time you went shopping together, you dashed from store to store, eagerly picking out clothes to try on for both of you, and Freddie couldn't help but smile. You were nothing but adorable, especially with your caring and generous nature, and it was that quality which had captivated Freddie from the start.

Your energies simply balanced out. He was the easy-going, focused, and serious goaltender, while you were the energetic, supportive, and caring girlfriend. It was a perfect match.

Tonight, however, Freddie had lost his temper and broken from his calm façade, something he’d never shown you in this way before. Yet, to his great surprise, you became the calm one; the person he could now rely on to comfort him and bring him back to the ground where he belonged.

_

Back at home, the adrenaline rush had long faded, revealing the toll it had taken on Freddie. He lay sprawled on the sofa, eyes half-closed, appearing more exhausted than you’d ever seen him. His hair was tousled, a few strands spilling across his forehead, and a faint bruise was starting to emerge on his cheekbone, a reminder of the night's events. Fetching a blanket, its softness a stark contrast to the harshness of the ice, you draped it over him, then settled down beside him, gently cradling his head in your lap.

“Are you alright, babe?” you asked softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from his brow. Your fingers traced the curve of his brow, the warmth of your touch offering solace.

Freddie managed a weary smile, his eyes fluttering shut as your fingers began to comb through his ginger hair. “Just need to recharge, min skat,” he murmured, his voice husky and subdued, anchoring you both in the quiet of your living room.

The fireplace cast a gentle glow of golden light across the room, its flickering flames adding a soothing rhythm to the atmosphere. You continued to stroke his hair, your touch gentle and calming, as Freddie’s breathing gradually steadied, his body relaxing further with each passing moment.

The intensity of the fight replayed in your mind, the way he’d defended his teammates and stood his ground. It had been both terrifying and inspiring to witness, and now all you wanted was to take care of your boyfriend, to help him unwind. And the crackling of the fire provided a comforting backdrop to your thoughts, a reminder that in this moment of quietude, you were exactly where you needed to be.

Yet, amidst the serenity, a playful glint danced in your eyes, a hint of mischief lurking beneath the tranquil surface.

“Didn’t know you had it in you,” you teased softly, your voice a gentle melody in the hushed room. “My very own warrior.”

Freddie chuckled softly, a tired but genuine amusement tugging at his lips. “Guess I surprised myself too,” he confessed, his tone laced with fondness. “But having you there, cheering me on like that, really gave me all the strength I needed.”

Your heart swelled at his words, a warmth spreading through you like the glow of the fire. Then leaning down, you planted a kiss on his temple, the gesture filled with love and tenderness. “Well, now you can rest, my warrior,” you whispered, the playful banter mingling with the affectionate embrace of the moment.

Freddie’s hand sought yours, his fingers intertwining with yours as he held on firmly, and you could feel the tension gradually dissipating from his body, his breathing deepening and becoming more regular. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, your movements gentle and deliberate, each stroke aimed at easing him further into relaxation.

Minutes drifted by, the room descending into a tranquil hush, with only the gentle hum of the city outside and Freddie’s steady breathing breaking the silence. You observed as his features softened, the weariness and tension melting away as sleep finally enveloped him.

So, with a tender smile, you continued to run your fingers through his hair, content to remain in this moment for as long as he needed. In this instance, nothing else mattered. It was just you and Freddie, finding solace in each other’s company, the outside world fading into insignificance.

And as you sat there, holding him close, a surge of love and protectiveness washed over you. Whatever challenges lay ahead, you knew you would face them together. And right now, that was all that mattered.

The city lights cast a soft glow through the window, bathing the room in a warm, gentle light. You listened to the distant sounds of traffic, the occasional wail of a siren, and the faint murmur of life beyond, but it all seemed distant, a mere backdrop to the peaceful sanctuary you and Freddie had created. Your hand continued its soothing motions through his hair, each stroke silently promising your unwavering support, through thick and thin, through battles and moments of calm.

Tonight, had tested your strength and determination, but here, in the tranquillity of your home, it was evident that love and solidarity were the true foundations supporting you both. And as Freddie slumbered, cocooned in your care, you knew that together, you could overcome anything.

The next morning, you awoke to the soft dawn light seeping through the curtains. Freddie lay still beside you, his head now nestled on your pillow, his breathing tranquil and steady, as you gazed at him for a moment, soaking in the serenity of his expression, the gentle rise and fall of his pale chest.

Then with a delicate touch, you traced a finger along his jawline, feeling the faint stubble beneath your fingertips, causing him to stir slightly, emitting a soft Danish murmur as he began to rouse. His eyes then slowly fluttered open, meeting yours with a sleepy smile.

“Morning, min skat,” he whispered, his voice still husky with sleep.

“Good morning, love,” you responded, leaning in to brush your lips against his in a tender kiss.

Freddie’s hand instinctively found your waist, drawing you closer, as the warmth of his body against yours was reassuring, a testament to the love and bond between you. You sensed the steady thump of his heart, a comforting rhythm that echoed your own.

Nestling closer, your bodies aligned seamlessly. Freddie’s hand trailed up your back, his touch gentle yet sure, sending a ripple of sensation down your spine. You then kissed him again, this time more deeply, your lips lingering as you poured your love and affection into the embrace.

And slowly, his hands explored your form, tracing the familiar curves with renewed tenderness. Each touch, each caress, was deliberate and unhurried, a symphony of intimacy that spoke volumes. 

As the morning light slow grew brighter, you and Freddie moved together in a symphony of soft murmurs and tender caresses. The outside world faded into insignificance, leaving just the two of you enveloped in each other’s embrace as Freddie hovered you into a missionary position. It was a moment of profound connection, a reaffirmation of the love that had grown stronger with every obstacle overcome and every triumph celebrated.

The way he gradually surrendered to his morning desire, slowly entering you and merging your bodies in a romantic, passionate rhythm, drew you closer to a peak of pleasure. There was no haste, no urgency, just two souls intimately entwined after a night filled with the intensity of hockey.

Finally, as the morning sun flooded the room with its golden glow, you lay intertwined in each other’s arms, revelling in the afterglow of your shared intimacy. Freddie’s fingers traced leisurely patterns on your skin, and you gazed up at him, feeling a profound sense of contentment and tranquillity.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” his deep voice suddenly broke the comfortable silence.

“Well, luckily you’ll never have to find out,” you simply whispered, your voice brimming with warmth and sincerity. “I love you, my warrior.”

“I love you too,” he replied, planting a tender kiss on your forehead.

In that serene, sunlit space, you knew that regardless of what the future held, you would always have this – the love, the connection, and the unwavering support of your partner. And as you lay there, cocooned in each other’s embrace, you felt prepared to confront whatever lay ahead, hand in hand.

[mrcarriertheii]

Oh boy 1AM thought that has to be put to words immediately

Not-so-Wooden Horse

Log 15: January 12th, 2194

Our battle against the humans in sector gamma is finally shifting in our favor. We managed to get a perimeter around our capital ship making the humans unable to recklessly attack us. However the battle isn’t won yet, the humans are cunning, they use tactics only the insane would ever use. I still remember the look on everyone’s faces in the control center when a human battlecruiser rammed a flagship Supercruiser, killing everyone on both vessels instantly when the fusion reactors lost coolant.

I shall record another log in the coming week

Log 18: February 15th, 2194

Our victory draws near, we have destroyed 80% of the human navy in this sector of space, they have only 12 cruiser, 7 frigates, and a single malfunctioning and disarmed battleship left. We managed to get a direct connection the humans, we announced that we are going to give the humans a chance to surrender, none of us wanted this war and we want it to end just as much as they do.

I shall report once the humans have made their decision

Log 19: February 16th, 2194

Surprisingly the humans have decided to surrender, we are confused because humans are known for never giving up, even when faced with inevitable failure. But we are glad that this is over, they are sending their malfunctioning battleship with everyone on board to our capital ship. I can only assume they surrendered because they have “no cards left to play” as the humans say.

Will report once all humans are transferred to their cells.

Log 20: February 18th, 2194

They had one last card left to play…

When we let the ship through our perimeter and they docked at the capital ship we expected that they would walk out and let themselves be captured, we greeted them with open arms…

They greeted us with superheated spears…

Every single human was armed and armored and they stormed the capital ship, they used primitive spears that burned brighter than a reactor. Our armor was made to protect against lasers and radiation, we never accounted for such primitive melee weapons to be used in actual combat.

The battle over the capital ship quickly turned in our favor as surrounding ships began to drop reinforcements. But as we came across the last human, the general, he simply smiled and laughed.“did you like our little gift horse? Because I have one last little surprise for you.”

As he finished his sentence alarms started blaring, the alarms that signaled critical overheating of the reactors. “Your reactor security system used a mere 256bit password, guess us humans aren’t the only ones that ignore IT.” Said the human as I processed what was unfolding. I ran immediately to the nearest escape pod and left with a few surviving coworkers. I watched from external cameras as only mere minutes after we took off the entire capital ship, and the entire fleet around it, was vaporized.

This was my first time writing a story of some kind so I hope it Is ok, also sorry for grammar mistakes.

Should I write the perspective of the human side of this?

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Ten: I Hate That You're Right

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

‘We’re heading back now. See you in a few hours,’ Gordon’s text read when Benrey returned to his phone post indulging in a hot shower. It was dated twenty minutes ago so that ‘few hours’ still stood as a long time. But at least when he did finally get here, Benrey would have someone to play games with again.

‘k’ Benrey sent back. He’d behaved, despite largely being bored for this long, he could last a little longer. With nothing else to do for now though, he settled in for more solo gaming.

Over the next hour or so, he exchanged a couple more texts with Gordon, nothing substantial, just idle chit-chat. Not too long after that conversation petered out, Tommy texted him with, ‘Mr. Freeman fell asleep in backseat. I’m a bit worried after yesterday. This morning he said he slept the whole night through after falling asleep at the table so he shouldn’t be tired anymore, right? Dr. Coomer says its probably fine but IDK. Humans don’t normally sleep this much, do they?’

Gordon had lied; he’d been on the phone with Benrey most of last night again, claiming his nap had been enough sleep so he wanted Benrey to play the rest of Wind Waker ‘with’ him. The call had ended because he needed to head to breakfast before heading out. If he was lying about having slept to Tommy though then perhaps he’d been lying to Benrey too. Staying up all night wasn’t a non-issue. Maybe the napping made up for it but then why was he lying about it to Tommy? Benrey had no way of knowing so… ‘idk’

‘Yeah. I guess you wouldn’t know either. Maybe it’s the car making him sleepy because he fell asleep during our 1st ride too.’ After staying up most of the prior night too. Something was up for sure.

How important could sleep be even for fragile humans though? Gordon was an idiot sometimes, sure, but he wouldn’t willingly do something dangerous. The sleeping all night thing was probably just because humans liked the sun and didn’t want to fall asleep randomly in the middle of the day like Gordon kept doing. The sun was nice after all so Benrey understood. ‘prbly its fine’

From there their conversation drifted to other things before also petering out. Having a good conversation over text message was a bit hard and Benrey quickly grew too antsy to sit still for it. This was the longest he’d been away from Black Mesa ever and the call to wander the town more couldn’t be ignored now that it was really starting to sink in that this might be a permanent life change. Being in a similar boat, Bubby might want to go on a walk with him. They could bond over being lab experiments seeing the world for the first time. And so, leaving his phone on charge, he grabbed his camera and headed off to find Bubby.

***

The first thing Gordon did upon returning to the hotel was take a long shower. During which, he did his best not to worry about where Benrey had got off to. A text from Bubby had revealed that the two of them had gone off on a walk that had taken them further than they’d intended and were on their way back. Nothing to worry about, it made sense in fact, but… what were they doing on that walk?

Such thoughts were just Gordon being anxious though. Less than good sleep the past few nights made his anxiety spike. As far as he knew Benrey had behaved since it had been made clear to him what he had to gain for doing so, there was no reason for him to stop now.

Despite having mostly soothed his worries, he was hit with a rush of relief upon stepping out of the bathroom and finding Benrey sitting in one of the chairs, waiting for him. He’d shifted back to a less human look; his skin a light gray-purple, his hair dark purple, and his eyes an even more piercing yellow than last Gordon had seen them as such.

“Yo, play with me, you said you would.” He gestured with the Game Cube controller in his hand to the TV screen which already had the Melee character select menu open. His voice sounded odd in person after how long they’d talked on the phone for, almost as if it belonged to a different person. His phone friend that had kept him sane the past few nights couldn’t possibly be the same Benrey that had once tormented him.

Shaking off that odd feeling, Gordon walked over to sit in the chair next to him, picking up the other controller laid down on its armrest. “Good to see you again too.” That was entirely true because somehow his ‘phone friend’ and Benrey were indeed the same person. Probably for Benrey it had all been just more games and him being bored; he didn’t care about keeping Gordon sane, he just wanted something to do as well as the PS3 promised for good behavior. But that was fine, Gordon had never had much in the way of friends so he’d take whatever he could get because he’d really needed it the few few nights and still needed it now.

~

They played Melee and then Mario Kart for longer than was probably wise. In Gordon’s defense, Benrey insisted on playing just a little be longer each time he brought up that they should probably quit soon and Gordon hadn’t had the willpower to deny him when he wanted to keep playing too. Eventually though, partly due to his need to get something to eat, he did break away to go out for food.

By unspoken, unquestioned agreement that only hit Gordon as odd once in the car, Benrey went with him. Sitting down for a late lunch with him should’ve felt odd too but instead it felt completely normal even though he didn’t eat anything despite Gordon’s offer to get him something. Instead he sat across from Gordon, making idle conversation even as he played more on the Game Boy.

Afterwards came finding a storage facility with enough room for all the Black Mesa stuff they currently had packed into all the cars they’d brought over plus whatever else might be salvaged before they found a good temporary lab. Dr. Coomer and Tommy were still off with the rest of the scientists who’d returned to Tuefort. A quick text conversation with them ensured they’d continued to be kept busy for a while longer, allowing Gordon to not have to worry about dropping Benrey off back at the hotel before starting the search.

Tuefort being a small town made it easy to find a decent looking place that sold storage units. Because it wasn’t his money and in case the lab took a while to find and set up, Gordon went ahead and rented the biggest storage shed available. With Benrey’s help – who surprisingly didn’t complain too much upon being asked for assistance – he unloaded everything in the car he’d borrowed. It then took another trip to grab the rest of it from the other vehicles and store that too.

Once that was done, he was basically free for the rest of the day. Not that there was a whole lot of the day left. But it wasn’t so late that the library would be closed for another hour or two probably. So, still trying not to let his exhaustion show too much, he headed that way next. If he was lucky, he could do some good research today and then in the next couple days settle on a suitable place to live, allowing them to move out of the hotel rather quickly. Probably it wasn’t going to be that fast or easy but the sooner he started looking, presumably the sooner they’d be out too.

Speaking of moving into a more permanent place though, the assumption was that Benrey would be moving in with him. At the time of making that assumption it had felt like a somewhat unfortunate necessity, now it didn’t seem so bad. In fact, it would be rather enjoyable; constant company and someone to play games with. But well with his opinion of Benrey going up… “Do you want to live with me?” he asked as he pulled the car to a stop in the library’s mostly barren parking lot. It was rude not to ask him what he wanted, right? They were friends now and thus his thoughts on where he wanted to live mattered.

Benrey looked up from his game. “Uh… I don’t really got anywhere else to go.”

“Yeah but… well, I was talking about it with the others the morning Bubby left to head back here. I floated the idea that we find a place big enough for us all to live together, share the rent and all that. Tommy declined though ‘cause he prefers living alone with just Sunkist and Bubby said he wants to try living alone too. So we all kinda decided to just get our own places but uh… you weren’t there of course and it was already kinda assumed you’d stay roommates with me but… do you want that?”

“The other option is Coomer, right? Uh… nah, he’s not as much of a gamer as you.”

“The other, other option is you get your own place too.” Gordon still didn’t like the idea of Benrey going off into the world on his own without anyone nearby to even attempt to keep a leash on him but… it felt wrong to not bring it up as an option. He’d lived in the lab his whole life, not having his own space except for the gamer pad but presumably that was just a single room. He deserved a chance at more. “You can’t right now ‘cause you don’t have a job but you could start looking for one. And then once you find one and are able to, you could move out on your own.” That would hopefully delay it long enough for Benrey to be more set in being good and thus it would be less of an issue.

Benrey was silent for a few seconds as he stared out the front window. “So I could uh… have my own like, house? All mine, no one else’s?”

“Yes. Obviously getting you a job is easier said than done since you don’t have like a social security number or whatever. But we could figure something, I’m sure.” People forged those kinds of things all the time, didn’t they? “Just something to start thinking about and maybe working towards if you want it. For now though, you are stuck with me so c’mon, let’s go do some research and stuff.” He opened his door, allowing him to slide out.

After pocketing the Game Boy, Benrey followed suit, falling in step with him as they started for the library entrance. “How’s the library gonna help us find a place to live?”

“They got computers we can borrow to do research on.”

“We could’ve just used the hotel manager’s again. They leave pretty early, I think.”

“Nope. I can’t walk through walls so I’m not risking setting off an alarm by breaking in. But uh, you ever been in a library before?”

“In games, yeah. They seemed boring in real life.” Figures he’d both think that and that that would be the case.

“Nah, they’re cool. I’ll get you a library card while we’re here so you can use a computer and maybe check stuff out if you want to.”

“Hmm… okay.”

***

True to Gordon’s word, the library was cooler than it had seemed in theory. The books were indeed boring but there were so many of them, more than Benrey had ever seen in a single room before, they wrapped back around to be interesting to look at and run his fingers over as he walked along the aisles. In addition to them there were also movies and music CD’s available to check out. No video games but according to Gordon that might happen one day. The computers didn’t have any games installed on it but it was free to use with nothing but a library card which was pretty cool.

In all, it was enough to keep Benrey entertained while Gordon did his research. Occasionally he quietly called Benrey over or just texted him to get him to look at and give his thoughts on this or that apartment or house listing. Benrey didn’t have much of an opinion on most of it but Gordon considering his input to be important was novel enough he tried his best to provide some anyway.

Despite the newness of his environment and Gordon’s occasional desire for his opinion, his thoughts kept circling back around to having his own place. Never had he considered the idea before Gordon offered it. Not just a small room in an out of the way part of Black Mesa but a whole living set up, multiple rooms, possibly even a whole building, that was his and only his to do with as he pleased. He could set the temperature as high as he wanted, decorate in whatever way was fun, leave things as much a mess or as clean as he felt like at any given time. On the other hand though… living alone sounded like it might get lonely with the whole ‘alone’ part of that phrase. It was certainly an idea to chew on.

Eventually, around the time the novelty had mostly worn off, it was time to leave because the library was closing. “We can drive around and look at places tomorrow if you like,” Gordon said as they walked out back towards the car.

“Uh, sure.” And perhaps while doing so Benrey would pay attention and try to figure out what kinds of things one was supposed to watch for when looking to buy or rent their own place.

It was starting to get dark by the time they returned to the hotel. Despite that they hung out for a bit with the rest of the Science Team in the dining area for dinner and then a few hours more just to hang out. Upon returning to their room, Benrey had expected Gordon to go to sleep; he’d been yawning a lot, acting rather tired and he’d told the others he was off to bed. As soon as they were alone in their room though… “Wanna play some more Melee?”

Benrey didn’t bother with a verbal response. Instead he went over to pop the game into the console before turning it and the TV on while Gordon pulled the chairs back over. Why they’d even bothered to put the chairs back by the window was beyond Benrey. Who would want to sit idly by the window when there was a TV with a console connected to it?

As they played though, it became more and more obvious that perhaps Gordon should’ve gone to bed after all. Benrey was of course playing one handed, making it fair enough that he could rightfully tease Gordon for losing but also so he’d be challenged still. The latter wasn’t happening anymore. Gordon had been openly frustrated by the losses and the teasing which was fun but that emotional energy started petering out after a couple hours, leaving him boring to play with. Beating him was too easy and he didn’t seem to care, not even when Benrey called him a noob.

So as nice as it was to finally have someone willing to play games with him for a long stretch of time again… “Should probably give up and go to sleep now, huh?”

“Nah, nah, I’m… good for another round or two. Or maybe we could switch to Mario Kart or uh… Mario Party might be fun.”

Benrey, having nabbed Player 1 this time, backed out to the main menu. “You’re tired, it’s making you more stupid than normal.”

Proof of that was Gordon’s failure to look annoyed at being called stupid. “I’m fine. It’s only… uh…” he turned to check on the clock on the nightstand, “it’s not even midnight yet. I can stay up a bit longer.” … He was planning on staying up all night again? Really? Well, time to call him out on his lie then, huh?

Benrey stood and turned off the console and TV. He then walked over to stand in front of Gordon, letting him be the one looking down at him for once. He extended a hand for the controller still in Gordon’s hand. “You had a nightmare one night and then uh… the next night you asked me to help keep you up all night and then you did the same last night too, right?” Basically anyway, he’d called like halfway through it but had ended up staying awake for the rest of it.

Gordon looked at him in silence for a few second before sighing and handing over the controller. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

“Mm-hmm.” Benrey unplugged the controller from the console as he started loosely wrapping its cord around its middle. “And now you wanna stay up a third night in a row.”

“Uh… not the whole night maybe, just a few more hours.”

“But you said on the first night that missing one night wasn’t a problem but otherwise you need to sleep every night.” Benrey had paid attention because Gordon was his pet and he wanted to be a good pet owner.

“Yeah… I guess I did say that. But um… I’ve been napping and that makes up for it?” His voice rose a the end of it, making it a question, not a statement. Benrey wasn’t always good at picking up on those kinds of nuances but Gordon was often bad at not showing his emotions in some form on his face, in his words, or in his body language, making him easier to read than most people. It’s part of why Benrey liked him.

Benrey put the now neatly wrapped controller in its spot next to the Game Cube and unplugged the other one to start wrapping that one too. Wrapping the cord too tightly would be bad for it so he was careful to make it loose. “You lied to Tommy too. Said that uh… you slept all night last night when you didn’t. If napping made up for it, you wouldn’t’ve lied, right?” There wouldn’t have been a need to.

Gordon seemed to shrink under Benrey’s gaze. “Tommy told you I said that, huh?”

“Yep. Said he was worried ‘cause you fell asleep in the car after supposedly sleeping all afternoon and night.” Done wrapping the second controller now too. Which left him nothing to do with his hands as he turned back to Gordon so he just crossed them over his chest instead. “You’re a dirty lil’ liar, huh? Naughty boi.”

With a grimace, Gordon stood. “Look, I know I should sleep. It’s bad not to, I know that.But… well… I know I’m less likely to have a nightmare now that I’m finally out of that hellhole again. But I can almost guarantee I don’t have one, or at least don’t have a particularly vivid one,if I just stay up until I’m so exhausted I pass out. I promise that’s it’s… well, actually that is really fucking bad now that I’ve said it out loud but I just…” He trialed off with a groan as he rubbed his hand over his face. “I hate that you’re right.”

“Ha ha. I’m always right.”

“No, no you’re not. But you are right about this. So I guess I gotta go to bed. Do you think that we could…” He stopped as he looked away. Benrey waited for him to continue but after more than a minute of him just staring off into space, it became clear he wasn’t going to.

“We could what?”

Gordon flinched before he finally looked back up at Benrey. “Sorry I’m… real fucking tired. I’ll get ready for bed now. Thanks for… thanks.” He shambled over to the closet to pull out his pajamas before heading into the bathroom.

Benrey stared after him for a couple seconds before pulling out his phone. His first instinct was to text Tommy because Tommy knew lots of things about all sorts of stuff. But Tommy wasn’t human and didn’t need to sleep – though he did so every night anyway because he liked to, he was weird like that. Bubby also wouldn’t be a good person to ask when it came to matters related to humans sleeping because even though he was human, he was genetically engineered and thus likely his needs in that area probably weren’t the same as the average human’s. Leaving Coomer as the best person to ask. Presumably he’d once been a normal human before all the cybernetic upgrades, cloning, and whatever else they’d done to him had made him whatever he is now.

‘can humans die if they dont sleep enuf?’ Surely not, that was ridiculous, but Gordon had just implied that it was bad for him to skip sleep and ‘really fucking bad’ if he did so long enough to pass out. The question was how bad? He’d already proven himself not to be trusted when asked about such things though so Benrey had to go elsewhere.

Before Benrey could even finish lowering his phone, it pinged; Coomer’s reply. ‘Yes. Prolonged periods of sleep deprivation can lead to death in most animals, including humans.’

‘really?????’ Coomer had to be messing him, right? How could humans possibly be that weak?

‘Yes, really. Getting a proper night’s rest is essential for one’s health and well being. Most commonly sleep deprivation related deaths are the cause of impaired brain function leading to an accident. Such as a car, or other motorized vehicle, crash. In extreme cases, lack of sleep can lead to organ damage that eventually results in death.’

How was Benrey supposed to keep Gordon alive when something as dumb as not sleeping could kill him? Especially when his dumbass was over here trying to not sleep for multiple nights in a row. What the fuck was wrong with him? … His nightmares must be real bad, huh? Could the nightmares kill him too?

Before he could finish typing out that question to Coomer, Gordon returned. “Do you think you could uh… If you’re planning on hanging out here, if I start acting like I’m having a nightmare, could you wake me up? If you wanna go off and… I don’t know, play on the hotel manager’s computer some more instead, that’s fine too and stuff just…” He trailed off again.

Benrey put his phone away. He’d ask Coomer for more info later. “I’ll wake you.” Even though apparently if he did so too often Gordon could die. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to.

“Thanks. Good night.”

“’Night.”

Gordon shambled over and flopped onto the bed. This time he did remember to take his glasses off beforehand. He forgot to turn off the light though so Benrey did it for him, casting the room into darkness.

With a sigh he turned one of the chairs to face the bed before gathering up the Game Boy bag and sitting down in it. With a little bit of fucking around with the way his eyes worked he should be able to make himself see well enough in the dark to make the Game Boy’s lack of a properly lit screen a non-issue. So between that and texting Coomer for more information about humans’ required sleeping habits, he should have plenty to do to keep himself occupied while he watched over Gordon as he slept.

~

Next Chapter

[shaakyhaands]

CODVN but (some of) the princes play DND:

How they start playing, idk. Maybe it’s a dare. Maybe it’s a genuine, honest to god attempt from one of the princes to learn more about MC and her habits/hobbies/culture. Imo, Fenn probably did something and of course, the other princes got dragged into it.

Mc: DM

• is the one who introduced the game.

• Teaches the princes how to play

• tortures them when possible.

Toa and Guy:

• Wizards, because MC punked them.

• Convinced them they were the most powerful class at higher levels, neglected to inform them that they start with fuck all health.

• “Here’s this: if you’re so smart, why don’t you play a mundane who has to study magic? Humans play this class all the time, I bet you can’t handle it…”

• “You bet??? YOu BET?? Very well, speak less” *gets hit once, almost dies from 7 points of damage*

• Guy demands the opportunity to change his class, MC responds: “Okay! I’ll let you change your class— and everyone else will get the chance to multi class :)”

Toa: “multi… class?”

MC: “Oh, it’s when you get to reap the benefits of your character occupying two classes at once :)”

Guy grumbles, and falls into a stony silence.

• the two *barely* survive levels 1-3, but somehow they pull through. And suddenly, outside of game, they’ve started acting with a little more respect for those not magically gifted…

Fenn: Paladin.

• Still charisma based, so can still rizz and charm like Fenn is used to.

• But playing as a Paladin also serves as wish fulfillment, because that’s what DND is all about.

• You might be thinking, “A paladin?? But Fenn should be a Bard, it’s so clearly the best fit”. And I get you! But that’s exactly it— Fenn is already a Bard in his real life. Playing as one in game does nothing special for him. There’s no escapism, no fantasy. Here, he can be a knight in shining armor, upstanding and righteous, and all the other things not typically associated with Fenn. All the other things people don’t let him be, that his reputation prevent him from ever really achieving. Here, he can basically role play as Greyson. And honestly, who wouldn’t?

• is the first prince MC introduced the game to

• lowkey gets into it, and eventually does some of his own campaigns :)

Roy: Bard.

• Again, the name of the game is DND Wish Fulfillment. Roy looks up to Guy, who’s attribute is charisma. What class is based on that stat again? BARD. And now, Roy doesn’t have to be morally upstanding and perfect and unsoiled. He gets to be a little shit and enjoy it.

Lynt: I have no idea, NGL, but I’m thinking warlock.

• This is basically a DND joke— if you don’t know, warlocks have like, two spell slots. So if they want to cast more spells, they need to recharge, which is basically some form of rest.

• Don’t let this fool you, warlocks can be fucking BUSTED. Those two/three spell slots, they put them to fucking WORK. But they gotta get their rest in, dawg.

• in this way, they remind me of our sleepy boy. Quietly powerful as hell, but really only fuck around if they HAVE to. Otherwise, they kind of just mind their business.

Rio: Barbarian

• one of the easier classes to start with— and I know they’re ALL just starting, and I love Rio, but he can use the training wheels. Ain’t no shame in that.

• he approaches life in a way that’s very similar to barbarians: in a story, when Toa was telling him he was trying to put too much magic through too small an opening, Rio’s response was “oh, I know what to do! That just means I need to use EVEN MORE magic!” Like, shit, go off king.

• unlike some of the other princes, I don’t think he would be adverse to using melee over magic.

Lance: Rogue/Druid RANGER

• Lance gets to multi class because 1. I’m biased, and 2. I can see arguments for both classes.

• you may be thinking, “but shaaky, he’s the prince of wrath! His kingdom’s main export is mercenaries, ffs. Shouldn’t HE be a barbarian, or at least a fighter?” And again, I hear you! But, you gotta remember the magic words! Say em with me: “DND is wish fulfillment”. Lance fucking HATES how his kingdom is ran. That’s like, 80% of his story. He wouldn’t WANT to play a character built like that. Unless… it was for the people.

• correct me if I’m wrong, but Lance is the only prince who knows what it’s like to be poor. Not just a commoner, like actually destitute. He’s probably the prince with the most street smarts. And lowkey, he’s probably had to steal shit to survive at some point. He 1000% would ace the rogue class, and would probably stun the princes while he did it.

• Lance: “I loot the body”

Toa: “pardon?”

Lance: “I slit the guards throat, he fell over prone. I loot the body, for whatever valuables are on his person.”

MC: “make an investigation check”

Lynt: “…😨”

• Druid is there if he wanted to just fuck around and hang with animals.

• RANGER, oh my GOD ranger is RIGHT THERE, how did I miss that—

• Ranger is basically the flavor you get when you mix rogue and druid together, so it makes sense that it would fit Lance

• the man fucks off to the forest first chance he gets, everytime.

• just give him a bow already— he probably knows how to use it given his Ira background

• it’s the final battle, the other princes are up against the BBEG: Toa and Guy are on the brink of death, Roy and Rio are down, Fenn and Lynt are barely hanging in there— and then out of nowhere, a hissing noise rings out above everybody, followed by a sickening thwa-CHUNK. An arrow has lodged itself smack dab between the BBEG’s eyes, he falls over, dead. From 600 yards away, Lance’s character stands up, says “finally”, and leaves.

Other silly little head canons:

• instead of maps, MC uses magic to generate basically holograms of bosses and character minis.

The holograms move. So when the giant beast bellows, I mean it literally bellows, claws out and spittle flying and everything. More than once have the princes jumped back in their seats, genuinely scared by the images she generated.

Toa, traumatized: “Remember when I said you had no imagination?… I take it back. I take it all back…”

Guy, thinking to himself: if she ever did go evil on us, we’d be fucked…

• MC will call them on it if the princes lapse out of character.

MC will remind them their characters are, in some way very starkly, different from themselves, and for the story, those differences matter.

Guy: “what do you mean, he said he wouldn’t let us past?”

Mc shakes her head, does an accent: “gainst the rules, boy. Can’t be doing that”.

“Against the—?! You will LET ME PAST, you insolent mongrel—”

Mc: “roll to intimidate.”

Guy: “roll?”

Mc: “I’m sure, being a huffy prince of a powerful kingdom and all, demanding stuff usually works for you. But might I remind you, your highness— that you are playing a game. and in this game, your character is a scrawny, bookish sapling of a man who weighs about a third as much as the guard you’re talking to, and is around half his height. Tell me, what’s your charisma modifier?”

Guy frowns, but looks through his character sheet.

Guy: “… negative one?”

MC smiles: “Your character has the charisma of dragon piss filled boot. Which means you need a 16 or higher, otherwise this guard is going to laugh in your face and pat you on the head.”

Guy stares at MC, but says nothing.

Mc: “Now, your wisdom modifier?”

Guy: “what?”

Mc: “your wisdom modifier, what is it?”

He checks his sheet again.

Guy: “… it’s a positive 4.”

Mc: “you’re right, it is. Which is a hell of a lot better than a negative one. So, while it may not be intuitive, you’re going to be much more likely to convince this man to let you through if you utilize a wisdom based approach, as opposed to relying on charisma.”

Toa snorts: “what would you know of wisdom?”

Mc: “might I remind you that being an asshole is not listed as one of your character’s traits? Also, your character is currently otherwised engaged, trying not to die from missing the last step on the staircase. As such, you can’t hear this exchange.”

• Eventually, after getting familiar with the games mechanics, the princes do a campaign where they get isakied to Earth.

MC throws a lot of mundane shit at them, and they absolutely flounder trying to make any sense of it.

Guy: “Peanut butter?? What do you mean he’s allergic to peanut butter, what the devil is that??? Epipen??!”

Lynt, confused: “Almond milk?… how do they…?”

Toa: “I assure the woman that I am not, in fact, “tripping”, as she so claims. The floor is clear and level, and there are no staircases in sight.”

Fenn: “what do you mean he’s 63??? Good Creator, how long are humans lives again? Wasn’t it at least a 1000 years?…”

[fayes-fics]

Moments: Epilogue 2

Moments masterpost

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Paring: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: It’s six years after the wedding. Let’s check in with James Darby and his family!

Warnings: none… domestic/family fluff.

Word Count: 0.6k (this epilogue only, 24.5k total for all chapters)

Authors Note: My loves, this is the last in the Moments story. But there will be a few one-shots set in the Moments-verse. Including an art lesson and a Christmas special :) I hope you enjoy this sweet footnote, which was actually written before chapter five haha. I always had an ending in mind ;) Thanks as ever to my beta @makaylan and to @chaoticcalzoneranchsports for suggestions on amending one line. <3

Epilogue 2: Moments from another family life

Six years later

“Please stop that,” his voice is exasperated, struggling to be heard over a toddler’s wailing, “give it back to Amelia now.”

“But, daddy, that’s not fair. I wanted it before she did,” the five-year-old girl whines petulantly, her eyes wide and pleading.

“Well, she had it first until you took it away, which isn’t nice. Let Amelia play; then you can, please,” he attempts to placate. “Besides, there’s plenty of other dolls for you to choose from.”

“But I want this one,” her pout becoming epic. 

You walk in with one-year-old Thomas balanced on your hip.

“Isobel Bridgerton, you play nice, or you don’t play at all. Do you hear me?” Your voice stern.

“Yes, mummy,” she mumbles and hands back the toy doll to her little three-year-old sister, who stops crying and whoops happily.

“How come they always listen to you more than me?” Benedict bemoans, running a hand through his hair a little harried, watching Isobel pick out another doll and start playing happily.

“Because you are too nice to them, my love,” you reply with a chuckle, bumping him gently with your shoulder. “Those girls have you wrapped around their little finger, and they know it.”

“Well, maybe if they didn’t look so much like their mother, I wouldn’t be so utterly beguiled by them,” he counters with a pointed look. 

“Hmmm, is that right?” You tilt your head and give him a playful smirk. 

He leans down to kiss Thomas' head, sleeping against you. “Besides, they are my babies; how can I ever not be nice?” He grumbles good-naturedly against his youngest son's hair.

“You can be loving and be strict too, you know,” you lecture gently. He huffs a sigh, then turns his head, this time his lips meeting yours. 

“Father, must you?” James' voice rings out from across the room as he wanders in from the garden.

“I’m allowed to kiss your mother, James,” Benedict shoots back at his eldest son as he pulls away from the kiss.

“Preferably not in front of me,” James retorts tartly, every inch the surly eleven-year-old he now is.

“James! Don’t be impertinent,” you chastise, “or we will kiss all afternoon just to annoy you.”

“You wouldn’t,” James pulls a face of disgust that is so identical to Benedict’s that you can’t help but laugh a little.

“Oh yes, I would,” you warn, raising an eyebrow, handing sleeping baby Thomas to your nanny with a smile, then looping your arms around your husband’s neck.

“Issy and Milly don’t like it either,” James scowls, trying to rally support for his cause— that his little sisters roundly ignore. 

“I’m just fine with you following through on this threat,” Benedict whispers, his hands low on your back as he shoots you a charming crooked smile.

“Yes, and it’s that exact face which got us into this predicament in the first place, Mr Bridgerton,” you scold affectionately, “so stop smiling at me like that unless you really want a fifth bloody child.” 

He spins you around in his arms, so you both survey the melee in front of you, a mess of children and toys cluttering your drawing room. His arms wrap tighter around you from behind, his breath warm on the shell of your ear.

“I’m not against the idea Mrs Bridgerton,” he murmurs. 

You huff a laugh. “Want some good advice?” You ask, running your hands up his forearms.

“Always,” he hums against your temple.

“Enjoy this moment. Because in about two seconds….” As if on cue, Thomas starts wailing. 

“How do you always know?” he sighs, releasing his hold on you. “I'll take him,” Benedict calls to the nanny, walking to pick up his smallest child. “Maybe you are right; four is enough,” he concurs as he soothes Thomas.

“Smart man,” you wink.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @wysteria-clad @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @crowleysqueenofhell @baebee35

Moments only taglist: @queenofshinigamis @khaleesjj @starslibrary @magical-spit @honeylovemoon @justwant2read8421

[dimneo1010]

Meet the Problemaniacs!!

Aka 90% of the Yung's.

Let's start with the wisest of the triplets,

Seiko

His main interest is rap and beatbox. He is pretty okay with guns but if he had to choose a path in life it wouldn't involve them much. He and his brother Marsh work as a team to make their own songs. (Also their idol is YV but they don't want to admit it hehe)

He tries his best to always act rational when his family members don't. But that doesn't mean he can't get goofy too.

Marsh

He is very much shy and not good with the guns. Loud noises scare him. Very much good with crossbow and distant aiming.

He is the music composer. He can rap and sing aswell but always works as a background singer.

When he's not with Seiko he spends his time in his room either listening to music or sleeping. He's a timid fella.

But very empathetic and cares about other's feelings. That's the first thing he notices.

AS FOR THE QUEEN OF VIOLENCE HERSELF..

VETA!

She is very much skilled with firearms. She is very hot headed, fearless and easily loses her temper. Sadly her no sense of danger makes her a little stupid and jump into situations without thinking.

Out of all the triplets she has a huge potential to become the next Gun God. And she probably might.

She managed to summon her golden revolver at a very young age.

She is more skilled than YV ever was.

Of course, family is all that is on her mind and she would kill for them.

Little feral beast.

Yung Cuz!

Cuz is the eldest out of all the children in the Yungs household. He and his brother Fluff view the triplets as little siblings and consider them as such.

Of course, he loves gaming and spending time playing on his consoles.

His main weapon of choice is anything melee. He is the Blade God. It is an unofficial title but he can very much summon golden close combat weapons.

But as the eldest, YV expects him to control his siblings and puts him in charge when he's out.

Fluff!

he’s the second oldest

he likes to collect rocks when out of the mansion (an unhealthy amount each time.)

literal god at rhythm games, or well anything that has to do with rhythm in general but usually spends his time around rhythm games (aka on his beloved DDR machine)

fun fact! his real name isn't even Fluff! that's just a nickname. He doesn't use his real name much. Though, it abbreviates to Y.R so take that as you will

if anything, one of—if not, the most optimistic out of the 5. Can be energetic as well.

Sentimental towards most things.

Distracted easily if off the DDR set. Like, waayyy too easily.

fairly naïve. not much to say here other than he once fell for a scam because the person was nice to him for only 2 seconds

sensitive asf. he's good at masking it though if he feels hurt. (only for a bit though)

knowledgeable in only certain topics—that being about rhythm and flow, and a bunch of rock facts. occasionally, a bit about astronomy too (he can point out the brightest stars anywhere in the sky, but that’s about it)

Also the fella is mute. He may let out few noises but speaking is not an option in his case. His family can understand him, though.

(also the feller belongs to @ciphercalamitiez)

[autumnslance]

for the ask game — c'oretta's feelings on urianger!

also not really relevant but i was wondering where your tumblr username originates from? guessing it's related to dark autumn but she's a bard, right? or is she a lancer too?

This is where I remember I actually have a document in my files where I figured out my OCs feelings on the main Scion cast and several world leaders, and vice versa. C'oretta on Urianger, for instance: Urianger is so smart and funny and honestly everyone needed to figure that out much sooner and if anyone ever breaks his heart C'oretta will turn them into a pretzel OK? :D He's a bro! And she appreciates his patience and his eloquent way of speaking.

Urianger finds her energy and intellect endearing, she's always been able to keep up with him and is very helpful at trolling his comrades. She also got the closest to figuring out his scheme in HW, and what his plan was in StB even, which is almost scary. She only didn’t figure out ShB cuz she wasn’t in the First with them.

-

The blog title does have to do with Dark Autumn, but unsurprisingly that simple of a title was long taken when I got around to making this side blog when she was still my only character. Dark actually did begin as a Lancer/Dragoon when I started playing in early Heavensward. It was a part of a challenge to myself to try not only DPS, but melee, as my time in WoW was entirely on tanks and healers, with some ranged DPS I was bad at, but melee was worse (I legit got angry and couldn't play my paladin if I tried to go Retribution spec, I hated it so much). FF14's longer GCD and combat play works much better for me! I took all 2 years of HW to get through ARR cuz it was my side game at the time. I tried Bard in 4.0 after finally catching up to main story and fell in love with it (as it had actually been completely overhauled in StB from turret caster to the current mobile form).

In character lorewise, Dark is a Gridanian Lancer, and studying at the lancer and archery guilds together is how she met Aeryn, as Dark got back into adventuring after a long and necessary break from it (she'd been at Carteneau as part of the foreign levy with her then-free company; all handwaved backstory, I did not play 1.0). Dark and Aeryn also sought out Jehantel together. Aeryn's the one who went on to become a Dragoon, thanks to her then-secret backstory, while Dark excelled at Bardic skills that Aeryn treats as more of a hobby/flavoring to her spellcasting. Dark's "canon" tank job is Warrior, though she knows a smattering of most of the martial jobs; while I've leveled all the jobs, she cannot IC spellcast anything beyond level 10 or so. Just no ability or aptitude for it, nor does that bug her as Aeryn's own difficulties troubled her. And in the end, Dark always falls back on the Gridanian methods of archer and lancer. They're practical.

So it's still my blogname, and it'd break far too many links to change it, it's printed in some fanzines that way now, and it'd just feel weird to try to change it to something else after *checks sideblog's age* Heck, 9 years.

[gaysheep]

now my experiences might not be universal but as far as im concerned you asked far fewer questions about video games when you were a kid. the first time you encountered waluigi in mario tennis or mario party or whatever other mario spinoff you encountered him in for the first time because they only put him in spinoffs you didnt say "who's this goofster stomping around like he's a member of the crew?" you said oh ok that's waluigi i guess.

super smash bros melee the crossover fighting game starring all your favorite nintendo characters (well pikachu was second party but thats pikachu everyone knows who pikachu is) had a whole three characters who nobody in north america knew who the fuck they were, two of which were from games that weren't localized at all and one of which was from a game that was enough of a commercial failure in the united states hardly anyone remembered it a little under a decade later. now to be fair ness was in the one on the n64 also but its not like he'd gotten another game. "oh earthbound's failure was overexaggerated" you say that but my brother lived the super nintendo era and not a single one of his gaggle of friends had even heard of earthbound it was not on anyone's radar come on. but no one said "hey these aren't iconic nintendo characters" we all went "well i guess they can be here too" and now we say "you cant main a smash character if you havent played their game" like we werent saying "thats marth i dont know who the fuck he is but hes like a brother to me" in 2001

youd just go into the store and look at a game's boxart and decide you wanted that one and yknow what it usually worked out for you. i did this longer than you'd expect too i was in 7th or 8th grade and thought to myself "yknow i havent really played any console rpgs lately" so i looked up "rpgs for the wii" and i saw a gamefaqs rec thread or some shit where a guy went "well xenoblade is coming out." and i looked up xenoblade and found virtually no information about it other than that it was coming out and thought to myself "yeah xenoblade... that looks like an rpg i could get into." and you know what i did? i preordered it this may very well have been the first game i ever preordered i thought "well they were talking about it on gamefaqs so it must be a big deal i wanna make sure i can play it day 1" but i didnt need to reserve a copy of fucking xenoblade chronicles the store probably could have given me every copy in stock for no profit loss when i walked in there with my gir t shirt and my little receipt because i was one of all three and a half people in north america who played this game counting the gamefaqs guy. and xenoblade chronicles knocked me flat on my ass it was one of the best games i'd ever experienced i'd played plenty of story heavy rpgs before but this one hooked me in a way none of them ever had.

fast forward around 4 years the 4th smash game comes out but this one was different. this was when we really started to go in on the crossover fighters, character slots were now real estate that potential entrants had to earn the right to occupy as if one game ago they didnt make a failed NES peripheral a playable fighter and give it an emotional subplot in subspace emissary. no longer was it "cool i guess this guy is here" it had become "who the hell is this and what do they think they're doing in smash bros?"

and thus came that fateful night when amidst crazy new character reveals like the fucking wii fit trainer they unveil a cinematic trailer and announce that shulk from xenoblade chronicles was joining the fight. to which the unilateral reaction was "who the fuck is shulk why was this trailer framed like we already have a rapport with shulk i dont know this man why does he say stuff like 'im really feeling it?'"

but i knew who shulk was.

[krystalkitdemi]

Multiplayer AU

A sub AU of @saltymongoose 's AU. What if Player had friends that were dragged into Nevada alongside them?

Part one.

You waited as the loading screen of your discord call lit up, Loading and making a chiming until some other faces filled the three boxes that your private group had. Your friends who played with you on your streams in games that had a multiplayer function. You waved with a friendly smile. "Hey guys! how are you all doing?," You greeted. You got different replies from the two who responded, One saying he was fine and the other gave a Careless wave. The third Stayed silent and typed a 'Okay' in the text. You smiled, Relieved they were okay after being worried about their radio silence for a few days. Especially the one who waved, as she had been in a motorcycle accident a few days prior. All of you knew each other from school, Highschool and college, and have been close ever since. "So what's with the sudden call? Did you find a new game to play?," You heard one of your friends ask. "I certainly did, Here, I'll send you all a link to it.," You replied and sent the link in text chat, "I Think we'll enjoy it." "Madness: Project nexus?," You heard one of them ask. Your eyes went to the fourth camera window with the face of the silent friend in it, She was signing a question, 'Can we play this on stream together?'

You beamed at her question, "We sure can. That is what I planned for us to do!" She made a small smile, something that made you know that she was happy with this. You waited as they installed the game. You reminisced about how you met all of them. The first one was the one who had the accident, she was and still is, a rough but reliable young woman, albeit with a bit of a hothead temper. Her Attitude is a bit aloof, yet she was a good person. She always wore her favorite red leather jacket for everything, it was her lucky jacket. You met her in high school after she moved in and you helped her feel more at home in an unfamiliar place. She became your player 3. The second was in the first year of college, where you met a young man who had a bold, yet laid back attitude and a cowboy hat. He was an honest person who was hard working and strong. You found yourself talking to him after classes sometimes and became friends. His patience was able to break through to your other friend and he acted as her anchor. You also found that he also was very strong, something that may have attributed to the rumors on campus of him killing a man with his bare hands. He became your player 2. The third was someone you met during your final years at college, someone that was dragged to your hangout place by 2 and 3 after they saw she was basically alone and getting pretty badly bullied (3 also already knew her from an incident in the past). It was soon apparent that something was very wrong as she would not speak. You decided to be her friend and found that she played some of the same games that you did. She comunicated more in the text chat of those games when you played with her, but she always dodged the question of why she did not talk. You knew she was not deaf as she would respond to you and the others asking her questions, but she only communicated with either texts or sign language. After becoming closer, she became your player 4.

You were brought back to the present by the others saying that the installation was complete. All of you continued to talk as the game loaded for all of you. You saw their faces light up when they recognized the characters in the tutorial stage. All four of you started streaming together after the tutorial stage. You started chuckling as 4 shook her hands in excitement as she saw who she was playing as. Player 3 immediately ran out of bullets from being so trigger happy and resorted to beating the enemies to death. Player 2 took his time while playing as Sanford and used both melee and unarmed. Player 4 kept back and shot enemies from a distance before using throwables to take out enemies. It was incredibly fun overall to play together. Plus your fans seemed to love it. It was even better for you since your friends loved it.

In the corner of your eye you saw a notification. Bigbadaud666 had given you 80000 bits on your stream. You of course had to reply to that overly generous new follower during the intermisson period while you and your friends talked. Player 2 was very happy about the gameplay and the music, his favorite track being Deputized. Player 3 discussed who was the best character to play as, getting into a bit of an argument with chat. Player 4 had to think of new sign language names for the characters as she would be talking about the grunts with you a little more regularly. Overall, the stream was a massive success. You did not have the heart to tell them that you had already played this game a little bit before getting them hooked on it. So perhaps they will encounter the same interesting bugs that you have found. After a few hours, 2 and 3 signed off for the night, leaving you and 4. "Hey, Are you and 3 okay? She's been snappier lately.," You inquired about your friend. 4 looked away, more than likely looking at one of the jars that was on her bookshelf, then looked back at the camera and raised her hands to sign. 'That accident was a close enough call that I think she was reminded of...' 4 stopped and you waved your hands, "Hey, it's okay. I get it. Tell her that we should all stream together again, today was fun." You got a nod from the silent friend who gave you a sad smile. "Good night.," You smiled. She signed 'good night' back to you and you both logged off for the night.

A few days later you all were playing the game once more on stream when 3 piped up, "Hey is it just me, or is this guy more difficult to play than usual?" You and the others paused the game and had a quick intermission to talk and take a break. 'Want to switch?,' 4 signed, 'I can take him for a bit.' "No, I just think it is strange.," 3 replied, "Plus it sounded like he was grumbling something. That's not part of the usual voice line pack that we can get from examining the data files." 2 Nodded, "Yeah, Sanford and Deimos have been difficult as well. It sounds weird but, it feels like they don't want to follow commands. Is something wrong with your copy?"

"Now that you mention it, There have been some odd occurances.," You sighed, "Something akin to side missions have been popping up for me lately, like for characters others have not even unlocked yet. Like a solo mission with Doc." You noticed that 4 sat upright in her seat and leaned in close to the monitor to look at the characters onscreen while you and the others talked. "That doesn't seem like something the devs would send to only one beta tester. If nobody else is reporting on it, there might be something up with your-," 2's screen cut off before he finished speaking. 3 piped up and got cut off too, "Hey wha-" 4 only pointed to the screen before she cut out as well. You looked at the screen and saw that the game had crashed mid stream. It did not respond to anything you were doing. So, you shut off your computer and went to do some chores. Your phoned pinged from texts from your friends asking what happend. You told them that it was okay, you had some issues on your end and that you guys could stream tomorrow. They all replied with different versions of 'okay see you then'. You sighed with a smile and walked away after putting your phone down.

You called your friends over to hang out on the weekend, deciding to forgo a regular stream and do a single collaboration stream with everyone involved. You were excited, they have not been to your home since college study groups you had together. You heard 2's truck as he pulled into the driveway. You opened the door to welcome him in. He tipped his hat to you after parking and walking up. "Mighty fine to be here again.," He chucked, "Brought my guitar." "Going to regale us with more cattle driving songs?," You asked teasingly. "Perhaps.," He gave you a grin in return, "The ladies should be getting here soon." "They always come fashionably late anyway.," You chuckled and let your friend in, "I played a little more of Madness: Project Nexus without you guys on a stream. Some odd things popped up on the chat feature." "Strange. Need me or 3 to peek at the codes?," 2 asked. "No, it should be okay.," You responded, "Make yourself comfortable." 2 walked inside and plopped himself on the couch, "You really refurnished this place, it looks good."

"You can thank some of my new followers for that, Bigbadaud666, Hookman, and Hotstuff.," You snickered at the names that have been giving you some ridiculous amounts of bits. "That first name is very familiar.', 2 said and pulled his hat over his face to block the lights from his eyes as he leaned back, "Think I've seen it somewhere." You shrugged and went to peek out the window, wondering what was keeping the other two. You did not have to wait long as You heard the sound of a motorcycle engine, before seeing said motorcycle pull into your driveway. The taller lady driving the motorcycle shut it off and took her helmet off. "Hope we didn't keep you waiting too long.," 3 laughed, "She thought it was a sleepover or something and packed a lot of shit." 'Did not.,' you saw the smaller young woman sign behind her. 3 parked and pocketed her keys before unpacking some things from the Saddlebags on her beloved motorcycle. "I brought drinks, so who wants cocktails?," The leather clad woman asked and brought some bottles and cases in. 4 walked in with a small wave and a bag on her back.

"You're riding that thing so soon after the accident?," you asked with much concern for your friend. "Hell yeah. It'd be a waste to let my baby rot in the garage and gather dust.," She replied and began to pour different alcohols in a shaker, "Besides, It was not my fault. The other guy clipped me when he made that illegal turn. I had the right of way. That camera I got on a whim proves it." "Glad to see you're.... okay?," You replied and looked at the bandages on her, "Do those scrapes need to be cleaned and rebandaged? They look like they could be getting infected." "You know she hates hospitals after that incident.," 2 piped up, "That's why 3 hangs around you. Free healthcare." "Oh hush Cowboy.," The biker hissed and took a drink of her cocktail. You smiled at their bickering and looked down when you felt a tug on your shirt. 4 was standing next to you and holding something. She presented a cutely wrapped box. "Oh? For me? Thank you.," You gaciously took the box and opened it, seeing the baked goods inside, "These are so cute. And you made them in Madness combat theme!" You saw your silent friend beam a smile as wide as she could, She appreciated your acknowledgement of her efforts. You patted her head as thanks for the cute pastries. He put her hands and neon painted nails up to sign. 'I brought dinner for all of us, too' "You did not have to do that.," You smiled, "3 already brought the bar. But I guess we will need some food to counter her alcohol." 4 nodded and followed you to the kitched to put the food out and reheat what needed to be reheated.

What you did not know was what or who was watching you from the phone camera you set on the counter. They saw you and your friends and listened to your conversations. Like a predator in wait, they watched and listened. After all, soon, they will have the prey they were hunting in their claws....

And the day they were going to pounce, was soon. After all, one can only be so patient.

[best-jimmy-buffett-song]

Round 2 Schedule and BONUS CHRISTMAS ROUND!

Hello everyone! Round 1 has wrapped up, and we will be entering Round 2 soon! But first, since it's December and not a single Christmas Island song was nominated for this tournament... WE'RE DOIN A BONUS CHRISTMAS ROUND FOR DECEMBER!

So basically, the songs from Christmas Island and Tis the SeaSon will be going up against each other so we can find out what the best Jimmy Buffett Christmas song is! I randomized the matchups yet again (except for Mele Kalikimaka, the two versions from each album will be going up against each other) and the final matchup should wrap up on Christmas, so afterwards we'll proceed with Round 2 of our regular tournament. :)

Below is the matchups for the Christmas bonus round starting 11/27/23, as well as the schedule for Round 2, which will start in January.

We will also be doing a tiebreaker for Livingston's Gone To Texas and Schoolboy Heart this week!

In the meantime, spread the word! And enjoy!

@tournament-announcer @dailyjimmybuffett

BONUS CHRISTMAS ROUND SCHEDULE:

Round 1 (Starting 11/27/23)

Mele Kalikimaka (Christmas Island) vs Mele Kalikimaka (Tis the SeaSon)

A Sailor's Christmas vs White Christmas

Baby It's Cold outside vs Jingle Bells

Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer vs Drivin' the Pig (Manejando el Cerdo)

Wonderful Christmastime vs Run Rudolph Run

Up On The Housetop vs Santa Stole Thanksgiving

Christmas Island vs Merry Christmas, Alabama (Never Far From Home)

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth vs Winter Wonderland

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree vs What I Didn't Get For Christmas

I'll Be Home For Christmas vs Twelve Days of Christmas (Parrothead Version)

Ho Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum vs Jingle Bell Rock

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) vs Christmas In The Caribbean

Round 2 (starting 12/4/23)

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

Round 3 (starting 12/11/23)

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

TBD vs TBD

FINALE (starting 12/18/23)

TBD vs TBD vs TBD

Regular Tournament ROUND 2 (starting January!)

Group A:

Peanut Butter Conspiracy vs Beach House On The Moon

Come To The Moon vs I Wish Lunch Could Last Forever

Manana vs Cheeseburger in Paradise

Treat her Like a Lady vs Son of a Son of a Sailor

Brown Eyed Girl vs Little Miss Magic

Changes in Latitudes vs Coast of Marseilles

Life Is Just a Tire Swing vs Havana Daydreaming

Boat Drinks vs Stranded On a Sandbar

Group B:

Grapefruit Juicy Fruit vs The City

I Will Play For Gumbo vs Twelve Volt Man

Lucky Stars vs Frenchman For The Night

Lovely Cruise vs Banana Republics

He Went to Paris vs Tonight I Just Need My Guitar

Stars Fell On Alabama vs Growing Older But Not Up

Fin vs False Echoes

Southern Cross vs Margaritaville

Group C:

Only Time Will Tell vs Changing Channels

Coconut Telegraph vs The Weather Is Here

Burn That Bridge vs Coast of Carolina

Desdemona's Building A Rocket Ship vs Flesh and Bone

We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About vs Fruitcakes

Bring Back The Magic vs Pirate Looks At 40

Knee Deep vs Sail On Sailor

Great Heart vs Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move on.

Group D:

Last Mango In Paris vs Six String Music

Come Monday vs Jolly Mon Sing

I Don't Know And I Don't Care vs Wonder Why We Ever Go Home

Take It Back vs Caribbean Amphibian

TBD

Wings vs Happily Ever After (Every Now and Then)

The Captain and the Kid vs Vampires, Mummies, and the Holy Ghost

Death of an Unpopular Poet vs Railroad Lady

[divineerdrick]

Warhammer 40,000 Dark Angels Changes for June 20, 2024

The Unforgiven haven't had a very good start to the edition. Their special units aren't good, their Index Detachment was pretty weak, and the Codex didn't really give them much more to play with. Further, while The Lion is a pretty good beater, that's basically all he is. As a result they currently sit just above Deathwatch in the rankings. Not an enviable spot.

So now it's their turn to get some Detachment boosts. Grim Resolve gets an additional ability that doesn't require your units to be Battle-shocked for once. Now you also get to pick a unit to just get +1 OC per model until your next turn. This is a nice little boost, but I don't think it makes up for a set of Detachment rules that want you to be Battle-shocked.

Next, they take a stab at improving the Inner Circle Task Force. The first ability probably will only see use if you're already in a commanding position. The second is much more useful than it was before, allowing you to mark multiple objective markers to try and claim. This means your opponent can't just choose to focus somewhere else on their turn while avoiding the Vowed objective. I'm still not sure this is enough to compete with the Codex Detachments, but this definitely makes the Inner Circle more compelling.

Next we have the improvements to Deathwing Knights and Inner Circle Companions. Both are now much more dangerous in melee and actually have comparable power weapons. For Knights, their power weapon is now Dmg 2, which it should have been before, and their mace is now a credible threat to Vehicles and Monsters. For Companions, the Calibanite greatsword is also now not only a proper power weapon, but also gains more attacks on the sweep too. Again, providing these units haven't been nerfed, they should actually be good now.

For FAQ and Errata we only get a single new clarification, and it was one that the timing already spelled out. Yes, your opponent loses the CP when a Stratagem fails due to All Secrets Revealed.

Unfortunately, Deathwing Knights did take a nerf in addition to their new toys. They've gone up 4 pts a model, which I think is a bit much considering they didn't see a lot of play and the whole point was to make them competitive. That's 47 pts for a melee Terminator with 4 wounds. Strangely the Ravenwing is also marked for a nerf, but it hasn't actually changed. It is aircraft though, so it wouldn't surprise me if it had been earmarked for one.

I think this puts Dark Angels overall in a better spot . . . when taking Space Marine detachments. I still don't think you ever take Unforgiven Taskforce. But maybe you give Inner Circle Taskforce another look. For now at least, their specialized units can actually take the fight to the enemy.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Things Doctor Alto Clef is No Longer Permitted to Do On Site

As ordered by Site Command, O5 Counsel, The Administrator, several SCPs, and generally everyone who ever met the man, Doctor Alto Clef is no longer permitted to do the following:

Not allowed to point at anyone and state "Someone tell 049 quickly, here's a clear case of the Pestilence if I ever saw one!"

Not allowed to give anything with artificial sweeteners to 999. Poor little blob had a horrible stomachache after the infamous episode with the sugar-free gummy bears. Incidentally, the cleaning bill is coming out of your pay.

Not allowed to suggest anomalies to "reeducate" or "reclassify". We know how you'd prefer to classify 682, but it can't be done. And a more intelligent person would stop trying.

Not allowed to smile at staff or anomalies "in a threatening way". Frankly, you're lucky Agent Markovich only gave you a black eye.

Not allowed to "menace" staff with that damned ukulele. But feel free to torture the Chaos Insurgency to your warped heart's delight; those guys are assholes who can not just eat a bag of dicks, but choke on them.

Speaking of bags of dicks... stop sending them to Doctor Bright. His entire desk is overladen with gummy genitalia.

Not allowed to suggest movies to Doctor Bright. The "SCP Fight Club" was your fault, a bad idea all round, and got much worse once 076-2 tagged in.

Not allowed to read bedtime stories to any children on site. We do NOT need another incident of " Where's My Cow?"

Not allowed to tell D-Class that 096 "just needs a hug" and "he's not so scary, just sing to him and you'll be fine".

Not allowed to suggest Site Spirit Day ideas. Yes, Daganronpa is a great series. But... no one wants to live in Hope's Peak Academy, if only for one day. And the Monokumas were just overdoing it.

Not allowed to follow Doctor Gears around with a music app set to "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. Doctor Gears is NOT a robot or any variant thereof.

Not allowed to cook for anyone. Seriously, those pancakes were so hard you could use them as clay pigeons, and somehow the bacon was so raw the pig didn't even notice it was missing yet.

No more gurney racing! We get more than enough injuries on site to begin with.

Not allowed to dress the anomalies. 173 may not have cared about the wig and dress, but we dare you to try it on 076-2 or 106 if you're THAT bored.

Not allowed to start sing-alongs. You know what you did.

Not allowed to barter, buy, sell, lease, or rent souls. How do you even rent a soul? Never mind, that's a rabbit hole best avoided.

Alcohol is not permitted on site. Even if Doctor Bright drives us to drink. Where did the vodka even come from?

Not allowed to request alcohol from 294. Just in case.

Not allowed to use his ukulele as a melee weapon. Just play it, whomever is attacking will surrender instead of hearing that.

Not allowed to create improvised explosives. Kung Pao Chicken does NOT require gunpowder. How did you even turn a live chicken into a clucking grenade?

Not allowed to practice horticulture. Combustible lemons were bad enough, but making them insult you as they hit you is a bit much.

Not allowed to "decommission" anomalies without authorization from above. Doctor Bright does not count. Doctor Gears does count, but he's not likely to agree.

Not allowed to refer to new hires as "fresh meat for the grinder". First... creepy much, Alto? Second, it's just cruel.

No more than 75 kills per day. Sorry, but in this economy ANY help is hard to find, especially good help.

Not allowed to feed the anomalies marijuana brownies. We don't even know how 073 was even able to eat it due to his properties. But seeing 682 stoned was funny. Who knew the big nearly undead bastard had a plethora of dad jokes? Not the three D-Class who nearly died laughing. Still, don't do it again.

For the last damn time... 714 is NOT a Green Lantern Power Ring, we have no such item, there is no Power Battery hidden in the Keter Wing, and you should stop telling staff and D-Class this. We're losing 6 people a day to this nonsense.

Not allowed to refer to his exploding poultry as "chicken riggies", no matter how humorous it may be.

Not allowed to go "undercover" in the women's restrooms, showers, or lockerrooms on site. No, not even for "research". Especially not for THAT kind of "research". Get a RealDoll, Alto!

Not allowed to encourage Doctor Bright in his shenanigans. Does Jack Bright really need encouragement like that?

Not allowed to perform unauthorized tests on staff or anomalies. Putting a "Free Hugs" sign on 049's back was not funny, and if 049 hadn't noticed who knows what would happen.

Not allowed to point at staff in hazmat gear and chant "Unclean. Unclean." Especially not around 049.

"More shotguns" will not solve all problems. Stop suggesting it.

There will NEVER be a "Dress Like a Ninja" day here. Stop trying to make it happen.

Not allowed to "rent" out his services as a "divorce mediator". No one needs your kind of mediation.

No stalking the staff. Period. No, not even if they're a suspected security risk.

If it's on the Bright List, don't. And stop suggesting new ideas to him.

There are no maps for the Wanderer's Library. Please stop selling them.

Jello shots do not typically involve firearms.

Stop referring to Bright Duty as "Witless Protection".

Not allowed to show episodes of "The Twilight Zone" to anomalies. Ferdinand is still looking for that damned cookbook.

[ridiasfangirlings]

bandou gaming online and coming across a really really bad player and starts talking shit to them ("damn u suck ass uninstall" etc) and when the player responds it turns out to be munakata and the moment he starts talking bandou immediately leaves everything forgetting how he was in 1st place cuz no way did he just say that to the blue King- few days later he forgets about it until munakata comes round to educate him on proper online communication

Oh. Oh no. Imagine poor Bandou’s face when he realizes who he’s been trash talking to, like on the one hand screw the Blues he’ll tell their King to suck it if he wants to but on the other hand Kusanagi might get mad and anyway there’s supposed to be a truce now and what if Munakata wants to suddenly bond over their shared interest. Like imagine after a game night with Fushimi Munakata decides he shall try these fascinating ‘video games,’ in a way they’re almost as mentally stimulating as puzzles. And big battle royale melee type games can be fun for him strategy-wise, even if he isn’t the most skilled at the controls I can absolutely see Munakata basically putting himself in a strategist role and having a great time.

So one day Bandou is playing one of the games that he’s best at, there’s a tournament running and he’s been bragging that he’ll definitely take first place. He ends up coming across this one player who just wants to type a million words of bullshit instead of just playing and it’s super annoying, Bandou being all ‘tl;dr, get good’ as he tries to kick this guy’s ass. Bandou’s actually getting annoyed enough that he starts trash talking over the headset, like dude uninstall, you are so bad at this it’s making me feel pain. He can’t believe such a loser would want to challenge the great Bandou Saburota and then suddenly he hears this cultured voice over the headset ‘I see…Homra’s Bandou Saburota.’If it had been anyone else Bandou would have been like that’s right and don’t you forget it, not cowed in the least, but hearing the Blue King causes such a visceral reaction that he pulls off his headset and immediately logs out, forgetting that he was in first place until now. Afterward I imagine he’d be really annoyed though, hanging out at the bar complaining that his streak got ruined and all because of the stupid Blue King, Bandou should’ve just told him where to shove it. There’s the sound of someone clearing their throat and Bandou slowly looks up to see Munakata in casual clothes nursing a drink beside him, very curious about what he’s supposed to shove and where. Bandou stutters out a ‘what are you doing here’ and Munakata smiles as he says surely any paying customer is welcome at a public bar. Bandou looks helplessly towards Kusanagi, who is already moving well out of range with a ‘you made your bed now lie in it’ expression. Munakata says what a stroke of luck however, as he was hoping to speak with Bandou about this so-called ‘trash talk.’ Bandou quietly groans and makes a note never to use his real name while gaming ever again.