#and how they create such interesting and intricate episode with all of these topics

[kvibe-test]

Unlocking Artists' Success: The Mind Sketch Journey

One of the most fascinating journeys I’ve embarked upon is the creation of the Mind Sketch Podcast. The idea took root during countless conversations about the intricate dance between art and business. I frequently found myself deep in thought about how artists, whether they be musicians, magicians, abstract artists, writers, or filmmakers, navigate their careers in these ever-evolving fields.

After spending years working closely with a variety of talented individuals, it became glaringly evident that many people outside of these creative professions don’t understand the complexities involved. There's an assumption that artistic talent alone is enough to succeed, but the reality is far more nuanced. This misconception sparked the concept of the Mind Sketch Podcast.

The Concept Behind Mind Sketch Podcast

The Mind Sketch Podcast was designed to bridge the gap between the creative essence of art and the practical aspects of business. The show delves into the lives of artists from different disciplines, sharing their personal voyages and highlighting the seldom-discussed realities of the industry. We explore what it truly means to be an artist and the unique challenges that accompany this role.

I believe that creating art and managing a career are two sides of the same coin. A successful artist is not only a master of their craft but also a savvy businessperson. This dual nature of being both artist and entrepreneur can be perplexing and demanding, yet it’s a reality that many don’t realize. Hence, the inspiration for the podcast stemmed from the desire to illuminate these hidden aspects and offer a platform where experiences can be shared and learned from.

The Motivation Behind the Creation

My primary motivation for creating the Mind Sketch Podcast was education. Through my interactions with various artistes, it was clear that each person's journey held invaluable lessons. By uniting these stories in a single platform, we could create an educational resource for aspiring and established artists alike. The goal was to foster understanding, encourage learning from others' experiences, and dispel the myths about the artistic journey.

The idea was also driven by a passion for storytelling. A podcast allows for deep, meaningful discussions that can unearth the rich tapestry of an artist's life. Every artist has a unique story, filled with challenges, triumphs, and lessons that are worth sharing. This storytelling aspect helps humanize the journey and provides a sense of connection, making the knowledge more relatable and impactful.

Business Meets Art

One of the core themes of the Mind Sketch Podcast is the integration of business acumen into artistic endeavors. The stories we share often reveal the strategic decisions, entrepreneurial efforts, and business insights that artists employ to sustain and grow their careers. This blend of art and business is essential in today’s world, where the lines between creative expression and commercial viability are continually intersecting.

The podcast is not just about motivating artists to improve their craft but also to empower them with the knowledge to navigate the business side of things. We discuss topics like branding, social media presence, networking, and financial management, all of which are crucial for artists who wish to thrive in their respective fields. This dual focus helps in demystifying the business side of the arts, making it accessible and less daunting for creative individuals.

The journey of creating the Mind Sketch Podcast has been immensely rewarding. It's been an enlightening experience to hear first-hand accounts of so many artists and share their stories with a broader audience. The podcast continues to evolve, and each episode reaffirms the mission to educate, inspire, and connect artists and business minds.

As we move forward, I hope the Mind Sketch Podcast will become a go-to resource for anyone interested in the interplay of art and business. It stands as a testament to the belief that understanding and collaboration between these two worlds can lead to enriched and successful artistic careers.

#MindSketchPodcast #ArtMeetsBusiness #CreativeJourneys #ArtistsUnite #EducationalPodcast

[th0ught-chr0nicles]

Blog Basics + Get to Know the Author!

My name is Madelyn and, after exhausting my poor friends and family for years with my endless lectures on random, generally useless information, I have decided to instead burden strangers on the internet with these info-dumps! The topics may range from exhaustive analyses of a painting or sculpture, to a chronological retelling of the come-uppance of an ancient civilization, or any other whimsies that I might find encapsulating at the time. But, do not fret, our path will not always be so studious ;)

I often find myself playing the role of Alice, getting sucked down the rabbit hole of intricate pop culture moments such as how the “Ginger Kids” episode of South Park has been credited with fanning the flames behind the social mockery and ostracism of its moniker- even sparking “National Kick a Ginger Day” in recent decades. Or perhaps, the not-so-secret promotion of eating disorders in the worlds of modeling and media influencers, effectively creating an environment where bodies are trending commodities. One’s bone structure and fat distribution may be stylish in one decade and abhorred the next (see the rise and fall of the “flat butt” among western beauty standards).

My ultimate goal with Thought Chronicles is to do just that! Chronicle my ever-changing hyper-fixations and topics of interest in an educating manner while inspiring others to pursue their own nerdy, niche subjects. That being said, I am by no means an expert on… just about anything. If I make mistakes when relaying the facts, they are mine alone- please let me know in a kind and courteous manner so that they may be amended! My inbox is always open for any asks, comments, or even just a friendly chat (I promise I won’t bite… unless you claim that the Catcher in the Rye is overrated, in which case you are a phony and I might advise you to proceed with caution.)

Get to Know the Author:

I have tried to keep this concise and resist the allure of talking about myself at length, so keep in mind that these are the bare bones!

Interests (outside being a Geek™️): Game of Thrones, South Park, The Sound of Music, Lana Del Rey, coffee and tea, Frank Sinatra, spirituality and natural healing, 90s Rap and R&B, films of all shapes and sizes, Tyler Childers, Classic Literature, basically reading in any form and genre :)

Personality Types: INTP, 5w6

Astrology: Libra Sun, Gemini Moon, Aquarius Rising

Hobbies: working out, baking, hiking, reading, listening to music, art + painting, watching stupidly long video essays on youtube, playing with my cat, Stanley/Stan (named after Stan Marsh of South Park… I also have a cat named Butters), meditation and yoga

Favorites, ranked in no particular order:

color: wine red

books: The Picture of Dorian Gray and Jurassic Park (for the sake of nostalgia)

songs: Feathered Indians, Time, Somethin’ Stupid, Saturday Night

movies: TSoM, anything Studio Ghibli, Hereditary, White Chicks (I love a good spoof)

I believe that just about wraps things up! Let me know if anyone actually made it this far LOL. I look forward to sharing this long journey for the pursuit of knowledge with all of you!

~Au revoir, mes amis~

[hissesssss]

Ok so,,,,

Hello, that video was really something(something good don’t worry) and I have a few thoughts about it. First off though, I just want to say that I appreciate Thomas and the crew for talking about such an issue because as someone who deals with them as well, the way he explained and presented them was spot on and it was just really interesting seeing how he deals with them throughout the episode. So thank you, Thomas and crew, for talking about what so many of us have to deal with everyday.

Anyway, back to the episode,,,we have a new player in the game! The Duke, or Remus. Remus, who in myths, was said to be brother to Romulus and was killed by his brother so that Romulus could create Rome and rule it himself. And like,,,,what a fitting metaphor for him, especially with the repression of his really bad thoughts and the fact that Remus was essentially cast into the back of Thomas’s head until the Others were brought out. 

Speaking of the Others, I don’t know about you but Virgil being one of the Others(im capitalizing bc i like this name for them better than the Dark Sides) shook me to my core not because I wasn’t expecting it(let’s be real, if you are a Famder, you have read at least one theory or fic about Virgil being part of that group of Sides in Thomas’s brain) but because of the events prior. Virgil felt terrible for not being able to protect the Sides and Thomas from the Others and so he has this inner turmoil leading to him blocking out any and all instances of bad human I guess personality traits that might reveal those Sides to Thomas. Like, props to the writers for coming up with that, I am wowed.

Moving on, fucking Logan. Jeez, my love for him and his personality is never going to go down. He just went in, logic-ed his way out of the mess the Duke cause and was completely praised for it because he deserves ittttttt. I just feel like ever since the puppets and the crofters episode, he may have been getting a bit more agitated with the other Sides when they wouldn’t even consider his input until the situation became dire. But now they’re all taking a step back and understanding that he isn’t spouting bullshit and that calming down and thinking about the situation at hand for a bit is really the best solution to a problem. Ugh please give our logical boy all the love he deserves. He’s so cool.

That brings us to the other Sides though. Patton, oof, he’s been through a lot and as far as I could tell from previous episodes, there was a definite coddling of events from Patton. In fact, he was the one who always wanted to change the subject and talk about anything else besides the obvious problem at hand. Same with Virgil too. I feel so bad for him because of the Others popping out but at the same time, I have to agree with Thomas. Holding all of the burden so that the rest of the Sides don’t have to witness Thomas’s less pleasant parts helps neither Virgil nor the rest of Thomas. I guess it’s just unhealthy for him to have that kind of mentality ya know? But I’m glad to see Logan and Thomas instilling more positive and constructive thoughts so that Virgil isn’t as,,,hostile to the whole Other Sides sitiuation as he would be. 

Hopefully, we’ll get to see more of the Other Sides situation very, very soon. Let’s talk about Thomas though? Like, I didn’t even realize the impact all of these events have been having on him?? No wonder he was becoming more and more down on himself as the episodes went on. His head is spiralling into unknown territory which is definitely reflecting on his life outside of his head poor baby. So hopefully, as more Sides are introduced and as more problems are solved out, Thomas will find the stability he needs after such world-rocking events.

So like, not gonna lie this has to be my favorite episode. Not only did we get a subject that is so important to so many people, but we got a new Side/twin brother, Patton and Virgil starting to work their inner turmoil out, Thomas getting sleep, Logan being listened to, and dick jokes everywhere. I swear, every 5 seconds, Remus would pop out a new dick joke. (and lowkey though can we talk about the fact that we got the name of a new side and not of Deceitlsfkjd;jfs)

Anyway, let me know what y’all think of the new episode and if you have like anything to add that you noticed in the new episode because I need it all. I loved this episode, Remus bottom, and I’m never getting over this yay.

[saintobio]

sincerely not. (10)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

with an arranged marriage set in place, the sacred bond is doomed with a wife who wants to make the relationship work and a husband who’s ready to ruin it all. unbeknown to him, a tragic fate already lies within the pages of his romance book.

genre. heavy angst, unrequited love, arranged marriage, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. profanity, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of infertility, violence, blood, infidelity, illness

notes. 10.8k wc and very minimal angst. thank u for beta-ing and for always helping me out @suhkusa && @inarizahki :’) i appreciate u both so much <3 please enjoy this chapter everyone.

series masterlist -> episode eleven

The Zen’in estate was better than you expected.

Despite knowing that their clan has a reputation of being one of the most affluent families in Japan, you were still surprised to see the palatial residence that housed their entire family. The exteriors of their grandiose mansion resembled the Versailles—an 18th century French palace with its antique simplicity and exquisite neoclassical architecture. The interiors boasted of ornamental Rococo decorations with a combination of ivory white tones, intricate ceilings, and gilt-bronze moldings. Everywhere you looked was a sight of grandeur as you passed by their grand staircase to their spacious hallways.

The architecture of their chateau reminded you of the same luxury mall in Shibuya that their family owned, as well as their 5-star hotels and art galleries that catered to the elite. Their taste for European-style designs were in great contrast to the dark and modernist preference of the Gojou family. You liked both, but the Zen’ins just had a notable, more inviting atmosphere around them.

It wasn’t just the house, but the people themselves that exuded such warmth to make you feel at home. When you entered their estate, the servants immediately took you straight to the twins’ boudoir, where you explained that you were there because you needed to get their measurements to assist in creating a tailored outfit for them.

Mai, being an open supporter of your taste in fashion, was extremely eager to know that you were creating designs specifically made for her. “I can’t believe it,” she enthused while you measured the width of her shoulders, “Ah! I’m so excited to see how you’re gonna make them!”

You matched her smile with gratitude, guiding her to turn around so you could take the measurements of her bust. “I’m all for designing and conceptualizing, but this wouldn’t be possible if not for my seamstress.”

“Well, you can hire a team at this point. These are really good,” praised Maki who was sitting on the couch, browsing through your iPad to see your new collection. “Your style reminds me of Jacquemus and Chanel combined.”

You briefly looked at the elder twin and beamed approvingly. “Yeah, I do take inspiration from them.”

Mai chimed in with overflowing vivace, “That reminds me. Did you see the recent Jacquemus show, nee-san? I fell in love with the dress Gigi wore.”

“I did. Simon’s craft is amazing, I could never reach that level of talent and skill,” you replied in the middle of jotting down all the numbers you could get from Mai. You had to admit that being able to talk about these topics with younger girls who shared the same interest brought you some sense of felicity. It wasn’t really something that you had with Gen since she was all about the business, and Satoru didn’t exactly talk about these kinds of things with you. Everyone around you was more interested in the realms of money, stock, and the ever-growing market. Only now with the Zen’ins were you able to experience a fun and exciting exchange about something that you were passionate about.

“Mai, look at this.” Not long after, Maki adjusted her large-framed glasses and walked over to her younger twin showing one of your designs. It was a cutout evening ensemble, with a window to the ribs and a double slit that ended just a few inches shy from the pelvis. You remembered designing the dress after seeing the recent Proenza Schouler collection which inspired you to create the added asymmetric paneling and modest peek-a-boo placements.

Mai’s eyes immediately widened as soon as they landed on the iPad’s screen. “Gosh, that’s stunning! Is that the dress you’re gonna make for us, nee-chan?”

You chuckled and scrunched your nose apologetically. “That’s too mature and revealing,” you explained, sitting at the armrest with a tape measure on hand. “I actually designed that for myself. I’m not sure where I’m gonna wear it, though.”

Along with the gleam of intrigue that lingered in her eyes, she also teasingly raised her eyebrows up and down. “I bet your husband’s gonna go crazy if he sees you in this. It would totally look sexy on you.”

“Agreed,” Maki claimed with a grin resting on her lips, “one of the very few things that would make Satoru Gojou fall on his knees.”

Receiving compliments from the twins was not what you came here for, but it was difficult to just dismiss their friendly nature. How could you not adore them? You loved their positive presence, their enthusiasm, and quite simply, their appreciative words. Not to mention, they were nothing but respectful and genial towards you. Although you had to suffer from the arctic atmosphere with your husband back at the penthouse, talking to these two was the best temporary escape you could ever have. “I doubt it’ll make him fall for me.”

“Isn’t he already head over heels in love with you, Y/N-san?” Maki reckoned, crossing her legs as she sat more comfortably on the couch.

Mai, on the other hand, was heading towards the mirror to adjust the ribbon around her waist. “True, he even got her those Diana shoes. If my husband did that for me, I’d be the happiest wife in the world.”

Unfortunately, being the ‘happiest wife’ was far-fetched in your romance book and would never even reach the pages. You wondered how these two would react had they discovered that those shoes were not for you, but for another woman. A mistress by law. What would Maki and Mai’s opinion be on the topic of extramarital affairs?

You had to remind yourself that they were too young and that these problems were better discussed with adults. The twins should be spared of the details concerning your pathetic marital life, not only because it was distasteful to talk about such topics with teenagers, but also it was not a very good image for you and your thin string of pride. You wished not to ruin their image of a perfect spouse just because yours didn’t turn out the way you imagined. What you could share to them, rather, was your personal take about the relationship shared between married couples.

“Girls, love can’t be measured by material things,” you tried to make a point while they listened intently, “the shoes are gorgeous but it’s nice to value the thought more than the physical gifts. I promise nothing’s more gratifying than receiving genuine love, trust, and care from your partner.”

Because you had none of those.

The twins didn’t say anything much but from the looks on their faces, they seemed to agree. They were still at an age where dating was only meant to be at surface level and not something as committed as marriage. It was a practice of trial and error一they could still change partners by simply breaking up and forming new relationships. That was not exactly the case for you anymore. When they grow up and life hits them with reality, they would certainly look back and understand what you mean.

“You’re such a devoted and loving wife.” Maki gazed at you with admiration. “I hope he’s treating you well.”

You suppressed a sigh and smiled instead. “I’m curious though,” you began, “what do you guys think of arranged marriages? It’s pretty common for affluent families.”

None of them were aware that you and Gojou only got married to keep the family ties, so it wouldn’t harm to hear their opinion by playing it off theoretically. Funny enough, it didn’t even take another second before Mai gave an answer, “Onee-chan said she wouldn’t do it, but I don’t mind. Whether it’s arranged or not, it doesn’t matter because we’ll end up loving each other, anyway. Imagine living with the same person every day—you would fall in love for sure!”

Maki already had a counterargument prepared. “But that love feels forced. That kind of marriage is not exactly something that the husband and wife willingly got themselves into, this is why arranged marriages are always bound to fail.”

Ouch. You knew that the girl was spitting facts, but you also couldn’t deny the gnawing pain that creeped inside your heart because since the beginning, your marriage was indeed a failure. It was your selfish desire to turn a wedding done out of convenience into a fairytale.

With Gojou, nothing was a fantasy unless you were Sera. Their relationship was the true-to-life damsel in distress and you were the privileged villain who didn’t deserve a taste of a happy ending. Simply put, you were a side character and Sera was the protagonist.

“Sorry, we’re a ‘lil bit late.”

As you turned around to the voice that cut you out of your trance, you saw Toji’s towering figure leaning in to give you a quick kiss on the cheek and you could smell his masculine cedarwood fragrance from the beige sweater that he was wearing. It was hard to believe that the man could look good in both casual and formal wear, something that not a lot of guys his age could pull off.

“Hey,” you said, offering him a smile. “Where’s Megumi?”

Just as you asked, his teenage son came into view by making his entrance inside the room looking shy and a little bit aloof as he glanced at his cousins, who both cooed at him for waking up late. You chuckled at how they teased the youngest in the household while he tried to hide his embarrassment by acting calm and composed. Although his movements seemed stiff and restricted, he acknowledged you straight away and gave you a respectful bow before greeting you. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Gojou.”

How polite and extremely handsome, too. With the same physique and a nearly identical chiseled face, the son surely took after his father. His hair might be all over the place, but his eyes, his gaze, and his facial structures made him a carbon copy of Toji.

“Nice to meet you, Megumi.” You gently grabbed his hand and caught him by surprise, but you showed your tape measure to clarify why you did so. “I just need your measurements, okay?”

After nodding, the boy shot an amused look towards his father, who sat on the table just a few inches beside you. “Be careful around my dad. Women think he’s attractive but he spouts the dumbest things,” Megumi warned, which caused Toji to widen his eyes and the twins to burst into laughter.

Because Toji had him young, his bond with Megumi was similar to that of an older brother who casually and comfortably joked around with each other. You have yet to hear about the story of his mom and how his father had him when he was only twenty-years of age, but out of respect, you preferred not stick your nose into family matters that they may not willingly talk about outside of their clan. On the bright side, you decided to play along while you measured the length of the boy’s torso. “Interesting,” you quipped, “your dad can be pretty playful, huh?”

“When have I ever played you?” Toji defended, playing with a tennis ball in his hand,a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. You could only give him a good-humored eye-roll as you encircled the tape around his son’s waist.

As it turned out, when you looked at his face, Megumi was cringing at his father. “You’re embarrassing, dad.”

“So embarrassing,” Maki supported her cousin’s comment with a visibly smug expression, “were you trying to flirt with nee-san?”

Toji didn’t deny nor did he agree—only kept a small smile that restrained his desire to show more. “Stay professional, kids. Where are your manners?”

“You’re the one who started it!” Mai retorted, chuckling.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words could not leave your mouth when another presence joined the rest of you in the room. The black tips of his blond hair, the sharp piercing eyes, the permanent smirk一it was Naoya Zen’in in the flesh.

“Is it time for my grand entrance?” he asked, taking graceful steps inside the boudoir with narrowed eyes glinting with intrigue. The more he stared at you, the more you were self-conscious because you have heard a lot about how frivolous this man could be. He was not only a notorious casanova, but he was also a very hubristic individual who possessed qualities that you didn’t particularly like. “Look who Toji-kun brought in. You’re into married women now?”

Maki groaned. “Ugh, the annoying prick is here.” She propped her elbow above the armrest and glared at the guy. “Get out.”

“Yeah! Way to ruin our day,” Mai hissed, and you didn’t know whether you should laugh or feel bad for Naoya, who was stunned at the sudden wave of antagonism from his own relatives. Toji and Megumi were already sniggering at him, but neither father and son defended him.

“I... Shut up!” Naoya whined at the twins, burying his hands inside his pockets. He was wearing a plain black tee tucked under his grey pants, a look that heavily reminded you of your husband. How was Satoru right now? You had left him cold-heartedly back in your shared home, though you were certain that your absence wasn’t all that new to him. Still, you guessed that it was normal for you to think of your own husband despite your decision to completely detach yourself from him. “So, Y/N-chan. How’s Satoru-kun doing?”

Toji made an effort to sit closer to you so he could place a protective hand on your shoulder. You weren’t sure what his intention was on doing that, but you continued taking the length of Megumi’s arm while you entertained the only blond Zen’in in the family. “He’s doing fine,” you mumbled an answer, writing down on a paper. “I’ll send him your regards.”

Naoya hummed, staring between you and Toji with mirth in his eyes. “I heard marriages are supposed to be rocky in the first year,” he suggested with an impish smile. “No matter how tough it gets, I hope he’s not gonna do something stupid, you know… like having an affair with a prettier girl. It’s a pity ‘cause no one else has a better status to compete with you.”

In silence, you let him blabber about Satoru while you thanked Megumi for allowing you measure him. You could tell that Naoya knew something about your husband’s infidelity, but you would never confirm it for Satoru’s sake because it would paint a bad picture of you as his wife. It was your choice to remain taciturn about the ugly truth behind your marriage in order to save face. Unfortunately, Naoya was too adamant on keeping a conversation with you by sitting on the table. How awkward was this situation? You gave him a smile nevertheless. “Don’t worry. Satoru’s a good man.”

“A good man but not a good husband,” Naoya assessed your words, quickly chuckling and waving his hand defensively as you looked up at him. “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that he’s一”

“Okay, enough of that nonsense.” Toji took the initiative to hold you on both shoulders, urging you to pick up your things so that he could get you out of this situation. You didn’t really find it insulting. Naoya simply loved getting under people’s skin, which was why his words were entertaining albeit derisory to some extent. But even in your calm and understanding nature, Toji didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. “Join us for lunch before you leave.”

“No, that’s okay. Thank you, though,” you shyly told him, but received a series of incessant requests for you to stay by everyone else.

Mai even got up and quickly looped an arm around yours. “Come dine with us, please? We’re having grilled lobsters today!”

A moue suddenly appeared on Megumi’s face. “Who the hell requested lobsters?!”

“I did, got a problem?” Maki challenged, only to receive Megumi’s cute, sulking face in response. Because he was the baby among his cousins, it was normal for him not to complain further and you actually found his reaction adorable.

“Aww,” you didn’t mean to coo out loud, but couldn’t help it as you smiled at the boy. You wondered if Toji acted the same way when he was a teenager like his son.  “Are you not into seafood, Megumi?”

A huff flew out of his pouty lips. “It’s alright.”

“Aaah—! Toji-kun, you’re harsh! I was just trying to talk to her!”

Behind the rest of you was Toji and Naoya, with the former putting the latter on a tight headlock. “You’re a menace,” was Toji’s remark for the blond before he rubbed his knuckles against his head. None of them found the scene shocking, so you assumed that it was a normal occurrence for Naoya to be scolded by Toji this way. It was actually such an amusing sight to see that even if some of them disliked each other, they all still bonded like a real family. They joked around, they laughed together, they argued, but they shared a picture perfect familial relationship which was something that made you feel at home.

One thing for sure, this definitely wouldn’t be your last visit.

Satoru hadn’t been able to stop looking at his phone for the past few minutes, habitually checking to see if he had received any new messages from you because he had no idea where you went. The lack of updates from his own wife prompted him to stalk your Instagram account, where he scrolled through your feed and clicked on the latest photo of you in Bora Bora. The trip brought you nothing but painful memories so he was surprised that you still haven’t deleted it from your account. As your rightful husband, he browsed through the comments left on your bikini photo out of curiosity and saw a particular one that instantly made him grit his teeth.

“Off to paradise, huh?” he murmured the words with a scoff. Why the fuck was Toji Zen’in hitting on a married woman? What a piece of scum. Gojou felt irritated more than ever but he immediately buried his scowl when Gen came back to the living room.

Your sister, inside and outside of the office, always carried such an intimidating aura around her. Satoru had grown accustomed to it since he was a kid because he remembered being yelled at by Gen whenever he got you two in trouble. When you scraped your knee that one summer when Gojou asked you to climb the tree with him, memories of Gen angrily screaming at his face were still vivid in his head like it was yesterday. He admired her for being such a protective sister, but at the same time, he was digging his own grave for impulsively deciding to visit your mansion thinking that you would be here.

“She’s not here,” as confirmed by his sister-in-law, she sat on the couch adjacent to him. “Dad called me saying he’s gone horseback riding alone, too. Maybe she’s with her friends?”

Satoru hasn’t even met any of your friends to have an idea. He was already feeling unsettled as is, but more so did he feel small under Gen’s scrutinizing stare even if she played it off with a smile. “I just tried my luck. I miss her.”

The woman leaned back and took a sip from her tea. “You know,” she placed the teacup on the ceramic plate, “I thought it was weird that Y/N would stay for a whole week with us even if she claims that she just wanted to spend time. You two fought, didn’t you?”

Could he even deny it? Gen’s gaze was already suggesting him with a warning that said ‘don’t lie’ or else it would make things worse. It was futile to try and hide. So with that, he admitted to the truth. “We had, uh, a small argument.”

“Whatever it is, it must be bad if she’s avoiding you. She’s usually very patient with people,” your sister noted and Satoru had to hold his breath for a good minute.

There was no point in sugar coating things, but with Gen around, he needed all the sugar that he could get in order not to see her wrath. “I’m fixing it. How do I win her back? You know her best.”

Frankly, he was hurt when he saw how you simply walked past the bouquet of roses that he got you and he was certain as hell that you would let them wither away, too. You had paid no attention to it nor did you even spend a single minute to appreciate it. But how stupid was he to think that a flower could fix everything? It might work on Sera, but it didn’t seem to work for you.

When you told him that he had to make it up to you for the rest of his life, God knows how surprised he was to see this other side of you. Detached, indifferent, stern—he realized just how terrible he was that he had turned his loving and gentle wife into that. Who was she? It broke his heart. Wrecked him, shattered him. He was in desperate need of some good advice, or else he could actually lose you.

Thankfully, Gen was willing to help by enlightening his mind. “Be consistently sweet to her. Show her how much you appreciate her. Care for her. You should know your wife better than anyone else, Satoru. You’ve been together since you were kids.”

Yeah, but that was before his life took a turn. “I’ll keep trying. Did she… Did she say anything about me when she was here?”

Gojou expected that you would confide in your sister by spilling the truth about all the shit that he has done to you, so he was immensely surprised to hear another answer from her. “She just keeps saying how you probably couldn’t sleep well at night while she’s gone.”

Fuck. Satoru’s heart dropped. Despite the amount of pain that he had mercilessly inflicted on you, you still thought about how things felt like in his shoes. He knew for a goddamn fact that he should learn from you about understanding other people’s perspectives but he just didn’t have your selfless personality. It was difficult enough to absorb others’ pain when you were struggling yourself, so how come you were so good at handling it? My wife. Only my wife can do that. He couldn’t ever lose you.

Gen watched how her brother-in-law let out a deep exhale, propping his elbows on his knees as he pondered intensely. Seeing him in such a state allowed her to open up about you. “Satoru, you’re aware that Y/N is very close to our mom, right?” She immediately received a nod from him. “Well, when she died, her death devastated Y/N the most. It was traumatic for her because she had to watch her die while she was holding her hand, and that kinda stuck with her. It put her in a depressive state for a long period. It was a domino effect after that—she lost track and couldn’t know how to proceed with life because she placed so much emotional dependency on our mom, even to the point where she shut herself off from the world. She usually does that when she feels helpless, so the last thing you should do is make her feel lonely.”

It was the first time he had heard about your own trauma, and he deemed himself a horrible husband for never asking how hard things had been for you. Throughout your marriage, you were always patient at comforting him whenever his most painful memories visited him in the dead of night. You were always there to prevent his father from inflicting physical and psychological damage on him. You were there, waking him up with an angelic smile on your face, treating him with kindness every single day despite the hell that he had put you through. People say we do things that we regret later on and the topmost on his list was making you suffer more than you deserved.

He misjudged you just because you grew apart and changed, mistreated you just because he was blinded by unreasonable rage. The marriage may be for business purposes, but at one point in his life, you were his best friend. You were his first crush, his first kiss, his first image of happiness. Why did he let himself lose his sight of you along the way?

“I fucked up really bad,” he sighed, burying his face in his hands forlornly. There was an unfamiliar pang in his chest that reminded him of the same pain whenever he thought of his mom.

Gen could see his restlessness and wanted to lighten up the situation. “You two are married. It’s normal to have arguments here and there.” And while she did say that with a comforting tone, she also gave him a playful warning. “Just make sure you don’t put her back in a depressive state because if you do…” she paused, smiling, “...I’ll ruin you.”

Once a month, it was obligatory for you and your husband to visit their mansion and have dinner with his family. You were aware that they wanted it solely to check on whether the relationship between you and Satoru was still intact or if they had anything to worry about. It had been six months, nearly seven, since you’ve married him and it was normal for them to be concerned if things weren’t going right. But aside from that, they must have been curious as to why you two were still childless up until now when they were told that you have been continuously trying for a baby. Well, they were not informed that the whole baby topic was what essentially caused the heartbreak in your severed marriage. They were not informed that he had a mistress that he loved enough to cast his wife aside. They were not informed that your heart was at its most fragile state and that the accumulation of stress from being with him could lead you to your deathbed. There was no one to blame but the universe for allowing your fate to turn out this way.

Did you really see yourself being a part of their family after everything that you have gone through? If the agony had been unbearable six months into your marriage, how much more for another year or two?

His family must have noticed how reserved and silent you were throughout dinner, never once looking at your husband’s face as your father-in-law incessantly talked about business and politics. At some point, you noticed how his stepmom was glancing at you and Satoru as if to think ‘they’re definitely fighting’ and that was when you snapped out of being outwardly lukewarm. Once again, you had to put on a front of being the stress-free wife that they expected you to be.

“My dear,” Nana softly spoke, wiping her lips with a napkin right across from you. “Do you not like the food?”

You quickly fixed your emotions. “Of course, I do. I love it, Nana.” Italian dishes, specifically requested because they knew you liked them. “Sorry, I just wasn’t feeling well before I came here, so…”

“Must be morning sickness?” Satoru’s stepmom suggested with a knowing smile. Pregnancy talk, again.

You expected Satoru to react against his step-mom with his usual antagonism but it seemed that being hostile to her or Yuuta wasn’t his priority tonight. In fact, when you looked at his face for the first time since dinner began, he had a strange, puppyish look on display as though he was guilty of something really grave. Technically, he has some liability for the things he did but you wouldn’t expose that.

So for the sake of pretending, an awkward chuckle escaped from your lips. “I don’t think I’m pregnant yet.”

Satoru’s father lowered his fork and took a sip from his wine. “I had a conception dream, you know,” he revealed with enthusiasm. “That could be a sign that a grandchild is coming along soon.”

Instead of playing along, your husband’s face turned pallid. The sudden lack of color made you confused because he looked like he was panicking internally. For what reason? That the conception dream could mean that you were pregnant? You hadn’t stopped taking your birth control even if you were no longer intimate in bed so he had nothing to worry about.

“Stop pressuring us to have a child,” Satoru mumbled a reply, eyes glued on his plate and you were tempted to squeeze his hand but stopped yourself this time. Boundaries. You knew your boundaries.

There was a look of restraint in your dad-in-law’s eyes as he gazed at his son at the far end of the table. “There’s no reason for you not to have a child unless you’re infertile,” his strict voice silenced the whole table一with Nana pressing her lips together, with Yuuta worriedly glancing at his older brother, and with your stepmother-in-law suppressing a smirk behind her glass of wine. Seeing the intense atmosphere in the Gojou household allowed you to compare them with the lively ambience with the Zen’in family. The stark difference was notable, and you felt bad that you enjoyed the latter’s company more than the ones you called your family.

As much as you wanted to stay detached, you wanted to prevent your father-in-law from finding another reason to chastise your husband. “Don’t worry, dad. We’ll keep trying,” you reassured, intertwining your hand with Satoru’s. “He’s just been really busy with work.”

“Satoru, take a week off,” his father immediately ordered, nodding his head over at his son in a strict manner. You could feel Satoru’s grip tightening his hold around your hand despite the tension between you two. “Spend more time with your wife.”

God, spending more time with him was the last thing you needed right now. With your silent defiance, you met your husband’s cerulean eyes for a brief moment before you looked away. He must have assumed that you had finally warmed up to him, when that was far from the case. Ever since you learned how to put a wall between you and him, your chest pains hadn’t returned and you certainly wouldn’t let any form of stress put you at risk again.

Fortunately, the mansion was spared from any family conflicts after dinner even though Satoru had to sit down and talk about business ventures with his father who also kept bragging about how Yuuta was going to make him proud. Even from a distance, you could hear his dad’s endless chattering that were all targeted to put pressure on Satoru as the next in line as the CEO of the Gojou Group, threatening him that his chances of becoming one would be slimming down if he didn’t show enough competence. You thought it was cruel for a parent to subject his own child with that much negativity instead of paying attention to the positive contributions that he had made for the company. You and Satoru may not be on good terms right now, but you had always believed from an early age that he was meant to lead a business empire. He was raised with the prestige of being the sole heir of a conglomerate whose goal was to take over not only Japan but the whole world. Satoru had big ambitions as a young boy and you were the little girl that encouraged him through it.

It was sad to see how much has changed in the absence of both your mothers and how everything fell apart to the point of no redemption. Because things were no longer the same, you just had to accept that your marriage would find its tragic end one day.

For now, your spouse seemed to be showing more interest in you than he usually did. You noticed how his eyes would often trail on you wherever you went as if he didn’t want to lose sight of you. If you were the same person in the first few months of your marriage, this would have made you ecstatic. Any attention from Satoru that was not hostile would have given you joy. But unbeknownst to him, it didn’t feel that way anymore. All that was left was a sting in your heart that you wished to stay away from.

“Nana, are you tired?” You turned your attention back to his grandmother who clutched your arm for support. “Will you miss me if I don’t visit for another month?”

Her eyes didn’t radiate the same spark as you and her caregiver ushered her up the stairs. “Of course. I wish you and Satoru visited more and more these days,” she sighed, patting your forearm affectionately. “Ah, but how can I demand time from a newlywed couple? You should be spending every minute together.”

You let out a silent chuckle by the time you reached her room. “Wouldn’t that be suffocating?”

“It isn’t if you’re in love with each other.” The frail old woman was tucked in her bed with the assistance of her caregiver while you sat at the corner holding her wrinkly hand. You didn’t know what life Nana had for the past eighty-seven years, but you were curious if things had always been a fairytale with her late husband. It seemed that she loved him so much that she still kept a framed painting of Satoru’s grandfather in her room, lovingly gazing at the man with yearning. “My husband. He’d been a dedicated husband to me until his last breath.”

The thought swarmed you with envy, but in a positive way. “It must be nice to have that kind of love,” you dreamily said the words before realizing it.

It was too late to take it back because Nana looked at you with a puzzled face. “Is my Satoru not faithful to you?” she worriedly inquired.

You had the option to confirm the truth, yet you still covered up for him. “He is,” you swallowed a lie, “and there’s nothing to worry about, Nana. I was just saying how it would be nice if Satoru and I could stay dedicated to each other even as we grow older.” Lies. You hated lying, but you had to play pretend because you couldn’t let her know that her grandson loved another woman. It looked like Nana had no idea who Sera was or if she was even introduced to her but the fact that she hadn’t mentioned her even indirectly could only mean that Sera had never been acknowledged as her grandson’s lover. Not one of your husband’s family would have welcomed her either way.

Should you be happy? No, you weren’t raised to smile at other people’s misfortune. Sera would have been the perfect daughter-in-law had they all given her a chance outside of her social status.

Avoiding Satoru was inevitable because you had to sit inside his McLaren when he drove back home, passing the busy streets of Tokyo that was as bustling even at ten in the evening. You tried to look at the window just so you didn’t have to look at him, but conversations were just as inescapable as being inside his million-dollar car. You already knew that he would try and attempt to start a conversation when he started clearing his throat, going as far as reaching for your hand to hold it as he drove.

Was he going to ask where you have been all day? Was he going to question why you were obsessed with ignoring him?

None of those questions came out of his mouth. What he asked was something that took you by surprise. “Do you wanna have a bowling date with me tomorrow?” he offered, nervousness evident in his tone. “I have meetings in the morning but I can get Miwa to reserve this place for us after.”

A date? When you said that he could make it up to you for the rest of his life, was he actually doing it now? You weren’t sure of how to feel. “Why bowling?” you asked, turning your face away while he brushed his thumb along the back of your hand.

You could feel him smiling as he spoke. “I just feel like you’d have fun with it. Remember when our parents used to take us with them to bowling alleys when we were young? There was a bowling section for kids and we always teamed up. You didn’t even wanna switch partners because you wanted to be with me.”

“Right.” That memory was hardly vivid in your brain’s archive but you knew that he would be disappointed if you voiced it out. It was strange enough that he remembered your childhood all too well when he was the one who initially acted like you were a stranger on your wedding night. Gojou was hard to fathom and you weren’t sure if you would be able to fully connect the puzzle pieces for him.

Disappointed with your indifference, he still didn’t let go of your hand as he held the gearshift. “So, are you free tomorrow?”

How do you even politely tell someone that you don’t want to be around them? How do you protect your heart without hurting him? It was tough to decide on an answer, so you went along. “Yeah, sure.” You saw the smile that quickly tugged at his lips. Was that real or was that a charade? “I’ll just meet you there, I guess.”

He might as well release a sigh of relief because it was obvious that he had been keeping his breath until you gave him an answer. He’s trying, you would give him that, but at the same time, you were finding it hard to trust his intentions especially now that you had to take good care of your heart because only Gojou could elicit intense emotions out of you.

At half past ten in the evening, you were stuck in heavy traffic because there was a festival in the metropolitan city and some roads were closed. No wonder the people have swarmed in every direction like bees who had just come out of their hive. All you wanted was to go home and get some good rest after a long day, though it looked like it would take at least another hour for you to reach the penthouse. It didn’t help that the car was completely silent and you could hear your husband drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he peeked at the traffic lights.

Suddenly, he proposed an idea. “Let’s play a game.” Tugging your hand, you looked at him with a question mark painted on your face. “Every time you see a blue car, I’ll tell you something I like about you.”

Huh? You cocked your head to the side to see if he was serious, but after he placed a kiss atop your hand, you realized that he truly wanted to play the game. Things he liked about me? That alone was surprising and part of you was undeniably curious to hear what he had to say. You figured that it wouldn’t hurt to know一that it wouldn’t cause much harm to listen to the husband that once hated you, say the things he liked about you.

With that in mind, you started the game despite your pretentious insouciance. “Blue Nissan to your right.”

He hummed, keeping his eyes on the road as you instinctively glanced at his lips. “I like how you’re rich but you’re not high maintenance,” he answered, smiling at the thought. “I mean, it looks like you are but you’re not. I live with you so I know.”

How ironic was that? He was the one going around claiming that you were an entitled, spoiled brat who couldn’t live without getting what you wanted. You didn’t even want to ask when he started to change that perception he had towards you. “Peugeot, navy blue. To my right.”

“I like the shape of your nails,” and by answering so, he caressed your index finger and checked your French Tips. “It’s one of the first things I look at in a woman. Yours is by far the nicest.”

You took a deep breath. “By far,” you quoted his answer. So that means that he would still pay attention to other women’s nails. As you turned around to find any other blue cars, you only spotted one after a few minutes. “Ford, sky blue.”

Satoru had been driving for a few minutes and you hadn’t realized that you were near the building because you were surprisingly invested with his little game. “I like waking up next to you,” he mumbled, rendering you speechless with his honesty. “I like our morning routines—how you prepare breakfast, write those post-its, pick my suit. Sometimes we shower together.” Your husband erupted into a soft chuckle at the last sentence. “Or sometimes we stay in bed doing other things. You always wake up before me, but I feel more satisfied when I wake up before you because I can look at your sleeping face.”

This couldn’t be real. He was making it sound like he was enjoying the little things in your marriage, when he had made it crystal clear that he wanted nothing to do with you because you were nothing but a fill-in for Sera. He married you because he had to, not because he wanted to. ‘I never wanted this marriage’ were his exact words back in Bora Bora when he left you alone to sob your heart out. He despised being wedded to you.

So to hear him say all the domestic things that he apparently enjoyed with you opened a new gash in your heart and brought faint tears to your eyes. You couldn’t let him see how it was breaking you inside. You promised yourself that you weren’t going to be swayed by something like this, not now and now ever. Even if he did notice your silence, you averted your head and pretended to look for any other blue cars. “Tesla, in front of us.”

He was already driving up the building’s parking space to the special garage that housed all of your five cars combined. As he maneuvered his McLaren along the upward spiral, he thought of an answer. “I like how you call me baby,” he claimed and he felt a little embarrassed with his chosen response. “Daddy, too but I’ll save that for something else.”

“I thought you hated it.” That being said, he probably had more on the list of things that he hated about you. That was the real Gojou, not this vocally affectionate one.

“I don’t.”

“Okay…”

Silence stayed with you while your husband parked his car in reverse. In less than a minute, he released your hand to grip the steering wheel, pressing his forehead against it in deep thought. What was going on in his head? You didn’t have all night to stay in this parking space so you started unbuckling your seatbelt, but felt his hand halting your next move. “There aren’t any blue cars but,” he paused, leaning in closer, “I like your lips.”

As the distance decreased, your heart rate increased. It was as if you were paralyzed on your seat with your husband in close proximity, face inches away while you couldn’t prevent yourself from staring at the most beautiful pair of blues you’ve seen. His eyes, eyes that spoke a million words before he shut them as he encased your lips with his in a perfect lock.

The kiss was not rough or passionate, it was soft and gentle with his lips moving from sucking your lower lip to your upper. Your skin was burning from the feeling and you had no other option but to submit with equal affection. You could feel his head moving to the side to deepen the kiss and you were greeted with a pounding heart that rang an alarm in your eardrums.

Literally, because you realized what you had done and pushed Satoru away after your smartwatch signaled your unusually rapid heartbeat. Only recently did you purchase the watch in order to monitor your heart rate and forgot that it could also detect an unstable beat in all circumstances. Whether you were making out with a man in the car or you were having a heart attack, the watch’s purpose was to inform you to relax and take a deep breath because your heart was running laps.

“What’s that?” Disappointment laced your husband’s voice as you scrambled to turn it off. “New watch?”

You didn’t explain its function nor did you spend another second staring back into his eyes. This wouldn’t have happened had you not allowed him to kiss you. The wounds from the recent trip were still fresh and you had to remind yourself that getting swayed by Satoru was a dangerous game.

“Please refrain from kissing me without my permission.”

He watched you fully unbuckle your seatbelt with a perplexed look. “But we’re married.”

“Yes,” you said, opening the door so you could step out of his car. “By paper.”

Flashback — Gojou Mansion

Satoru had not had any sleep since his mother left two weeks ago without his knowledge. If he didn’t come home from school earlier than usual, he never would have had the chance to chase after his mother who refused to even look back at him as the cab left the mansion. It was the first time he ever realized the true meaning of heartbreak. His mother, his number one supporter—she chose to leave him behind as if she had never nurtured him from day one.

Why did she leave? Why didn’t she fight for her husband?

He was disgusted when he saw his father’s mistress sitting on the same couch where his mother used to sit. Just because she had left, it didn’t mean this tramp could act like she owned everything else in the mansion. At the end of the day, she was a gold-digging whore. A homewrecker. What kind of demon possessed his father to have an affair with a woman that didn’t even match his mother’s class?

“Get the fuck off my mom’s seat,” he spat, unwilling to pay the woman any respect. “You don’t belong here.”

She was gritting her teeth when she crossed her legs, raising her chin up high to show her newfound authority. “Your mom’s gone,” she said those words to Satoru like she was forcing the thought in his head. “Your father never loved her. He never even wanted their marriage. He just couldn’t divorce her right away because he pitied her.”

Gojou clenched his fist. “And you think he loves you?” This woman was vile and clearly had poor education. “You’re just a mistress. You’re a leech!”

He expected that she would fight back, but he was flabbergasted when she suddenly buried her face into her hands, and started faking her sobs. What the hell was she doing?!

“Y-You’re so mean!” her cries were clearly fake, but Satoru saw his dad coming down the stairs in deep concern. “I-I just wanted to treat you like my own son, Satoru.”

As confused as he was, he saw his father rubbing his mistress on the shoulder for some comfort before he turned to his son with an unyielding glare. Satoru was frightened from his domineering presence, but he was all the more horrified when his dad suddenly slapped him across the cheek. Not once, but many times.

“How dare you speak to her that way?!” he growled, sending his son to the floor because of the impact that he had received. This was the very first time his father laid a hand on him. This was the first time he received violence from his own parent who defended his mistress over his flesh and blood. “Learn to treat her with respect!”

Blood seeped out of Satoru’s nose as he wiped it with his hand. “Respect?” he asked, humorless laughter filling the room. “You want me to respect a homewrecker?”

“You ungrateful bastard—!” A kick to the rib. And another kick to his right hip. Satoru could not believe that he was receiving all this physical abuse just because his mom left. How could she leave him behind with this demon of a father? He was flooded with tears from the pain in his heart and the pain from the bruises he received. He could not breathe and his visions had become blurred, but he could hear Nana yelling for his dad to stop before she scooped her only grandson in her arms, crying as she saw him all bloody and traumatized.

How could you leave me with him, mom?

“Miwa, can you take care of the documents that we’ll be distributing to the shareholders next week?” Gojou gave orders to his secretary while she assisted him in removing the suit so he could go for a more casual look. “Hand them over to Mei when you’ve collected all of them. I gotta go. My wife’s waiting for me.”

Secretary Miwa presented him with a confident smile as she hung his coat on the rack. “I got it, sir. Don’t worry. Please enjoy your date.”

“I will.” Hopefully, he didn’t sound too excited even though he was visibly rushing out of his office just to get to his car. It had been awhile since he looked forward to actual dates, and he couldn’t deny how eager he was to finally have the chance to enjoy a fun activity with you. Following Gen’s advice, Satoru figured that spending more time together could allow him to make up for all the unforgivable things he has done to you for the past few months. He knew that the damages couldn’t be fixed overnight so he had to work hard to win you back before it was too late.

Frankly, he didn’t even think that you would agree to the date because you have been consistent at giving him the cold shoulder ever since you two came back from that damned Bora Bora trip. He couldn’t blame you for reacting that way, but things were getting better than how you completely ignored him from that night when you first came back home. If he ever had to see you breaking down like that again, he would most likely never forgive himself anymore. He was actually amazed that you still had the capacity to tolerate your husband’s presence despite the numerous times he had hurt you. Others would have walked away, screamed at his face, slapped him with all their might.

You didn’t, because aside from being level-headed, you probably didn’t think he was worth all the effort. If he put it that way, wouldn’t it be much more painful? Wouldn’t it mean that he wasn’t worthy enough to win an argument with? Sometimes, Satoru could not understand his own logic when it came to you.

It was already a quarter past three when he arrived at the bowling alley, about fifteen minutes late after he took a longer route because most roads were still closed. He wasn’t surprised when he immediately spotted your white Corvette parked outside of the establishment and he got even more animated knowing that you were already waiting for him.

He had a satisfied grin by the time he entered the premises, but lost it all once he stopped in his tracks to see a different woman. Confusion bathed his crystal blue eyes.

“Sera?” She turned around at the mention of her name. Dressed in a pink cardigan and a white fitted pants was his girlfriend. “What are you—?”

She, too, had the same astonished look. “Getou texted me saying you guys wanted to meet me here.”

Getou? What the hell was going on? Where was his wife?

“Oh, hey guys! Just in time!” The owner of that voice was Shoko Ieiri who approached both Gojou and Sera with Getou following her behind. “Y/N’s practicing in the bowling lane. Let’s go.”

Satoru’s breathing had ceased. “Getou, why are you guys here?” he asked, infuriated. “This was supposed to be just—” he had to pause and sigh in frustration because Sera was fast to cling to his arm, “—this isn’t happening.”

Suguru patted his back from the other side. “Y/N invited all of us. Are you disappointed?”

Damn right, he fucking was.

But he felt even more furious when he saw his wife laughing with a man as you two stood at the end of the bowling lane. The man, whose muscular build and scarred lips immediately made Satoru’s blood boil. Was this a fucking joke?

Toji Zen’in gave him a nod of acknowledgement but Gojou only paid attention to you. You barely even looked at your own husband as you glanced at Sera with those rigid eyes. In spite of your cold exterior, you still forced yourself to greet him and his lover.

“Glad you came,” you said, looking away nonchalantly.

“Y/N, what’s the meaning of this?” Satoru confronted you then and there, but you never bothered to give him a proper response. “I thought it was just us two.”

You let out a weary sigh. “You never said that I wasn’t allowed to invite anyone,” you muttered. “I was already with Toji so I thought it’d be nice if he tagged along.”

Gojou was about to respond until Sera cut him off to utter an insult. “You’re wicked,” she said to his wife, scoffing in disgust.

You displayed half a smile. “Says the one clinging to my husband.”

This person. This person wasn’t his wife. Toji probably had something to do with this and Satoru wasn’t very pleased to see the sudden turn of events. Were you doing this for revenge? But inviting Sera would not even do you any good. Moreover, his business rival was looking at you as if he was proud to see that you were sticking up for yourself in front of his mistress. The atmosphere was so suffocating that Satoru had to adjust his collar.

In the first place, why in the goddamn fuck was his wife hanging out with Toji Zen’in? What kind of betrayal was this?

“Y/N,” Satoru warned, feeling an ache creeping into his heart each second.

Ieiri had to cut the tension in between by separating you two. “Okay, why don’t we just have fun while we’re all here?”

You didn’t think that Satoru would be hurt when you ended up inviting everyone to your supposed date.

The devastation on your husband’s face made you feel terrible inside and you wanted to apologize for disappointing him, but you had to stick to your role and eliminate all of the guilt that was trying to consume you. You had good intentions when you invited these people and it was only because you weren’t ready to fall for Satoru’s trap again. Being alone with him would only complicate your goal to detach yourself, so even if it hurt to see his reaction, you had to prioritize your own heart.

Fortunately, Toji, Getou, and Ieiri immediately understood your actions which was why they were making things comfortable for you throughout this odd situation. Sera, on one hand, didn’t seem to care that much because she was even hugging your husband from the back, smiling at him in an attempt to cheer him up.

The bowling teams were divided into two; you, Toji, and Ieiri versus Gojou, Sera and Getou. The teams alone seemed to have ruined your husband’s mood because you knew that he wanted to be on the same team with you just like you always did back when you were kids.

Well, you were adults now, so he ought to act like one.

“Strike!” Ieiri squealed, meeting Toji halfway for a high five as she hit all ten pins. You couldn’t help but adore how easily they got along despite having little to no interaction prior to this. “Y/N, your turn!”

You could feel Gojou and Sera’s gazes trailing on you as you got up from the couch and headed towards the rack to pick up a bowling ball. “I suck at this,” you admitted to both Toji and Ieiri.

“No one said you didn’t,” Toji joked to which you responded with a playful pout. “Just kidding. You’re doing great.”

Breathe in, breathe out. You forgot how to actually play bowling, but you tried your best to deliver a smooth roll until you ended up hitting seven pins.

“Not bad,” said Shoko, offering you a thumbs up. “We’re still the best team.”

“Pardon?” To your right was a grinning Getou who was preparing his form as if he was a professional bowler who could hit consecutive strikes with his eyes closed. “We are the best team.”

You left Shoko and Suguru alone with their banter as you returned to your seat on the couch to rest for some time because you weren’t particularly skillful in bowling either way. You weren’t meaning to look at them, but you saw Sera who now moved onto Satoru’s lap with her arms around his shoulders and her head resting atop his. They were talking intimately like any normal couple would although it looked like their conversation wasn’t a happy one. You didn’t miss the arm that was locked around her waist and the hand that rested on her belly as they conversed.

The sight made your heart race and you already anticipated the alarm that would go off from your watch until Toji came to join you on the couch, ultimately distracting you from the pain that was nearly going to rip your heart into shreds.

“If someone steals your favorite food, would you get mad at them?” Toji proposed, sitting beside you with his parted legs. You could very much see the outline of his chest from the shirt that he was wearing and you had to look away before he would get the wrong idea.

“I won’t get mad,” you replied, wondering why he asked the question. “Why are you asking?”

The man kept his gaze in front of him and you realized that he was intrigued at how bold Satoru and Sera were for displaying their affair in front of everyone. It wasn’t like there were many people, anyway. Just a few staff who didn’t care much about the elite society. Still, it was clearly Toji’s first time to learn about your husband’s infidelity because you never mentioned it to him before. “That makes sense,” he affirmed, looking away from the adulterous couple so he could stare at you, “You don’t get mad when other people steal from you. You’re just selfless that way.”

Not really, but… “I guess so,” you told him, crossing your legs. “She’s attractive, huh?”

Toji grabbed the can of beer that was on top of the table and sipped from it. “Being a mistress isn’t attractive to me.”

“Touché.”

“Wanna make him jealous?”

His proposal caught you off guard, but you smiled at him nonetheless. “He doesn’t get jealous.”

“You don’t know that. He seems possessive.” Toji scooted closer and you met his verdant eyes with a glint of interest. “We should test that theory, don’t you think?”

You doubted it. Whatever theory Toji had in mind, it wasn’t going to work because Satoru would always forget the whole world around him whenever Sera was a hair’s breadth away. They were inseparable and they proved it all during  the Bora Bora trip. Because the flood of memories started coming back in your head, it was your spite that took over when you agreed to Toji’s deal.

And at once, he was pulling you out of the couch to replace Ieiri from the bowling lane. You already expected that this little theory would fail, though you had to admit that you weren’t prepared when Toji stood behind you, holding your waist as if he was teaching you the best posture to hit a strike. You played along when he winked at you, soon noticing how he glanced in Satoru’s direction with a smirk.

“You know he’s looking, right?” The upward curve of his lips was meant in jest but what made your heart pump twice as fast was when he brushed his thumb on your back, moving an inch closer to whisper in your ear. “You’re good at this game.”

Before you could utter a response, you were startled to see your husband’s veiny hand gripping Toji’s wrist with seething rage. “Don’t fucking touch my wife.”

Hypocrite. What a hypocrite. Even Toji wanted to tell him that, but decided to just smile it off. “I was just guiding her,” he jeered, but didn’t manage to lessen Gojou’s pique.

“Hell! Why are you even here?” Gojou narrowed his stare at the older guy. “Trying to steal somebody else’s wife?”

“Satoru, let him go,” you instructed sternly.

“You think this is funny?” your husband questioned you, derisively. Although he did release Toji’s wrist, his stare on you didn’t leave. He was hurt, you could tell that he was hurting inside. “I get that you’re mad at me, but you didn’t have to take it this far. Why can’t we just spend the whole day together by ourselves like a normal married couple? Why can’t you let me fix my mistakes while I live in regret? I’m trying my best, Y/N.”

Your sympathetic heart felt for him because he was your husband and you were his wife. Despite the loveless marriage, your sacred bond was what made you have this emotional connection with him that no one else in the room would have understood. They could all stay silent listening to you and Satoru fight all day long, but they wouldn’t ever feel the intensity of your emotions because none of them saw pain in your perspective. The pain that you had to suffer as his wife.

How funny was it that you had to endure his actions—his neglect, his insults, and his blatant display of affection towards another woman since at the start of your wedding, but he couldn’t even handle having the same treatment for five minutes?

You’ve woken up to your senses. You could never allow him to destroy you the second time.

“Don’t get carried away,” you said, choosing the words he previously told you and returning it back to him. “You said you never wanted this marriage.”

He clenched his jaws and lost it. “But I want you!”

The intense atmosphere had quickly dissolved when you heard someone sniffing from behind, only to see Sera with tears falling from her lachrymose eyes as she glanced back and forth between you and her lover.

“Sera.”

She didn’t stay for another minute and ran out of the place, wiping her tears as she sobbed from Satoru’s outward display of emotions towards you. You remembered the same scene happening that morning when she had learned about you and your husband sleeping together. Back then, you had felt bad for her for having to witness how his lover was willingly sleeping with someone else despite the conditions of your marriage.

But now, you couldn’t feel any ounce of pity towards the woman who consistently disrespected you to your face.

While Satoru was stuck on his feet deciding whether to chase after Sera or to stay with you, you gave him an answer.

“You should follow her. I think she needs you,” you urged, turning away to focus back into the game. “I don’t wanna be called an attention seeker again.”

You hated that you ruined it for everyone seeing as how Shoko and Suguru were both standing on the side in silence anticipating what their best friend would do.

Don’t they know him well? Because you did. And you knew that his choice wouldn’t be you.

After a heavy sigh, you heard Satoru speak to you one last time. “I’ll talk to you at home.” He disappeared from your sight in a desperate attempt to run after his mistress, who was and always would be his first choice.

Unfortunately, you didn’t prepare your heart for the oncoming surge of pain, because your chest pains came back to subject you into agony and had Ieiri scurrying onto her feet to reach for your GTN spray. After two sprays under your tongue, you were asked to sit back on the couch at the onset of an angina attack. This was exactly why Satoru Gojou was dangerous for you.

And yet, all you could ever think of was one question.

When would you ever come first in your husband’s heart?

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[sam-t-a]

Okay. 

*Deep breath* 

I think I’m finally calm enough to put into words exactly why I hated the finale and why I wasn’t completely surprised that I hated it. 

(Heads-up: this is really long and pretty negative. If you disagree, I would of course appreciate your point of view and love to hear it, but just thought I’d let you know in case this is the kind of post you would like to avoid.)

To me, it felt like every character on the show got betrayed in some way or another, but the main ones are Han Seo (devastatingly), Chayoung (obviously) and Han Seok (bear with me). 

Cha Young: 

She started out as a solid FL who annoyed some people for sure, but who had so much promise as someone unconventional and bold. The way her mother’s death affected her and caused a clear shift in her personality was a super interesting plot point that really never got explored. We have no idea how she came to sacrifice her morality in joining Wusang, just that she wanted to spite her father, which is a very superficial exploration. She gets cute idiosyncrasies in lieu of an actual character and an actual character arc. 

We also, halfway through the show, seem to forget that her father's death was the initial trigger. Cha young does not suggest bold ideas or intricate plans, she doesn’t fill the gaps Vincenzo is incapable of filling (because that would require that Vincenzo have flaws, and that’s not something the writers can abide), and she’s literally victimized in episode 19 and bedridden in episode 20, and that is IT. 

Someone who started out supposedly as Vincenzo’s equal just became another piece in his chess set, no matter how important a piece she may be. 

So her role as a badass avenger is trashed. That leaves her role as a love interest. Now, as Vincenzo’s love interest, she was supposed to get kidnapped in like episode 5 or 6 at the most if the villain has any brains whatsoever (Han Seok may or may not, more on that later). We need a reason for that not to happen too early. Cue villain is somehow in love with her for all of 15 minutes or so throughout a 20-episode series because a love triangle is inconceivable with the show’s current structure and for its purposes. 

So, she spends 15 or so episodes making the first move on Vincenzo, every time, putting herself out there, creating cute moments, getting nothing in return, and then he leaves. No confession, nothing much, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye or give her the choice of coming with him. 

I’m sure more chayenzo-oriented fans have already expressed all the necessary outrage over this, so I’ll move on to the part that I’ve personally been way more emotionally invested in from the get go: the Jang brothers. 

Han Seo: 

I was among the minority that  hated the “Vinny hyung” angle from the get-go and I’ve ranted about it in another post, so I won’t get into it here in-depth, but basically it was because I felt like Vincenzo hadn’t earned it, so to have the last words Han Seo hears be “You deserve to be my brother” or whatever the fuck he was on about PISSED ME OFF. It’s VINCENZO who doesn’t deserve to be Han Seo��s brother and hasn’t done a single thing to earn it. He was a good ally. The situation he allowed Han Seo to be a part of was beneficial to him, but Han Seo’s attachment to him was neither healthy nor heartwarming, and it certainly wasn’t returned on the level he offered it.

Vincenzo’s disregard of his death didn’t strike me as odd because I never saw enough indications that this was a two-way street and Han Seo’s safety and well-being came second so often that I didn’t get the impression Vincenzo was doing much to keep him alive. This is what I meant when I said the show was glorifying a torture survivor’s trauma responses. Han Seo himself, as a torture survivor, meant nothing to them. He was just there to create one more contrived comparison between Vincenzo and Han Seok. Instead of recovering from the trauma, it’s simply employed to someone else’s favor. He doesn’t go to prison for Han Seok, he takes a bullet for Vincenzo, and we’re supposed to see that as so much better.

All of that might (JUST MIGHT) not have ruined the show for me if he’d died better. 1) It was narratively pointless and totally avoidable, 2) they could’ve framed it as heroic, but instead Han Seok’s hand patting his head is pushing it down, so he can’t even get shot with his chin up and his back straight, Taec’s already taller, so the angle’s fucked and the whole cinematography screamed “kicking an injured puppy” and most certainly NOT “survivor finally stands up to his abuser”. The final nail in the proverbial and literal coffin is that he is mourned by no one. They’re FLIRTING not 3 MINUTES LATER, it felt so tone deaf and left such a bad taste. As I said, I didn’t expect significant mourning from Vincenzo (gotta say, I didn’t expect no mourning, that was a shocker), and Cha young and the tenants had no real interactions with him and no reason to mourn him, which left only one person who could. 

Which brings me to Han Seok. 

Han Seok started out as a solid villain, clear goals, clear skills that help him achieve his goals and basically make him a villain worth defeating, and a very complex relationship with both his own psychopathy and his brother. 

Let me get it out of the way: I do not believe Han Seok is capable of killing Han Seo because he had every reason and every opportunity to do so in previous episodes and couldn’t do it (I say couldn’t because a certain degree of reluctance is in itself inability). Han Seo’s danger far outweighed his material value the minute he shot Han Seok and then completely lost any value once he came out to the world as the chairman and it became clear that the prosecution would be going after him if anything happened, and not his brother. But time and again, he’s proven he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to Han Seo (killing-wise, specifically). 

The scene where he asks him to beat Vincenzo to death could be interpreted as him wanting to give Vincenzo the “painful death” he would have given him, but honestly, I think he was way past that point. He just wanted him dead in the “You crazy? we have to kill him before he kills us” sense. To that end, killing off a key ally of Vincenzo’s, who betrayed you and almost got you killed a bunch of times, should take priority, but Han Seok’s priority is reclaiming Han Seo by forcing him back onto his side. Now, much like his “love for Cha young”, Han Seok’s keenness on not killing his brother was essential to the writers so that Han Seo can justifiably make it this far and still be useful to Vincenzo (he can’t help if Han Seok completely excludes him from all events, plans and management processes, so Han Seok needs to want to keep him on his side enough not to do that even when it’s more prudent). 

All of this isn’t to say it’s unbelievable that he would kill Han Seo, but it’s DEFINITELY unbelievable that he would stay the same man after killing him. Someone here (I’m sorry, I don’t rememebr who) once said that Han Seo had become, over time, far more of a foil to his brother than Vincenzo was. To me, this means that Post-Han Seo Han Seok would be out of balance (tilted screen), unhinged in a way he never was before. The Han Seok we see shrugs and “oh, well”-s and moves on in a flash, not really any different from the villain he was four minutes and a whole brother earlier. 

This is very consistent with the way the show has been de-humanizing him from the start. I’m not saying this to defend Han Seok in any way, he’s a serial killer, an abuser and a total maniac. But you can be all those things and still a human being. In fact, you can ONLY be those things if you’re a human being. The show used its villain vs villain idea to justify a lot, but in the end, Vincenzo had to be a protagonist. He had to follow up every “I’m a villain” with a contrived “but at least I’m not (insert something worse)”. 

On the level of humans:

1) Vincenzo is supposedly different because he doesn’t hurt children or women (unless the women deserve it, and shooting a parent in front of their kid doesn’t count as hurting.) 

But we never see Han Seok hurting women or children either. In fact, if we proceed with the “chayoung is the myung hee of the good guys” comparison, he hasn’t hurt any women nearly as badly as Vincenzo did. 

2) Babel vs Mafia 

Babel’s corruption is compared a lot to the mafia, with Vincenzo commenting repeatedly that the people are WORSE than the mafia...which is bullshit. Babel is a set of companies that provide goods and services, but use illegal means to maximize their profit, so they hurt/kill people in the process because they want more money and care about money more than ethics. The Mafia is an inherently criminal organization that functions PURELY on the basis of its criminality. Every single dime Vincenzo spends is blood money. None of it is clean. And while we’re on the topic, I find the whole “taking Miri under his wing” thing pretty unreasonable too because he tried to have her killed you guys, I cannot believe we’re just glossing over that. He had everyone who worked on that vault killed, just random fucking construction workers. And he’s not sorry. And the show tells you he shouldn’t be. 

3) Repentance

Han Seok says outright he won’t atone, and while Vincenzo says no such thing out loud he just...doesn’t repent, I guess. He keeps the blood money, he goes back to being a full-time mafia dude doing mafia things. He leaves the same man he arrived. 

So, if on the level of harm inflicted upon humanity, Vincenzo and Han Seok are pretty much equal (and Vincenzo might actually be worse), then why should we root for Vincenzo? 

Well, my friend, that’s where the dehumanization comes in! 

I was initially very excited to see their portrayal of a psychopath because of the very interesting ways in which the informal moral code and official justice system surrounding a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist affect their behavior and their chances of not turning out rotten, and the show looked like it was looking at corruption in general. 

But as the show went on, the villain vs villain thing proved not to be enough, Vincenzo has to be better in some way (or if you’re as obsessed with him as the writers are, then ALL ways), so it became a villain vs monster narrative. Vincenzo isn’t ethical or fair or in any way interested in having a remotely positive impact on society, but at least he’s A HUMAN BEING unlike SOMEBODY. So, the characterization goes to shit, Han Seok becomes a cartoon card-board cut out of a villain and emphasis is put on how pointless his violence is, as opposed to how purposeful Vincenzo’s is. 

This is dangerous on multiple levels (and I promise this is the last point I’m making). 

1) For people in general, dehumanizing abusers/murderers/etc. makes us very liable to forget that you don’t have to be “a monster” to cause harm, and it makes people complacent in their belief that they are “not bad people” since they aren’t total monsters. The Banality of Evil is a thing, and in this series, it goes completely ignored. No one is inherently incapable of good or inherently undeserving of humanity. 

2) For victims of abuse in specific, it’s dangerous to portray abusers (including serial killer and non-serial killer ones) as entirely bad and unlovable, because it poses the dual risk of making victims less likely to acknowledge their abuse if it comes from someone who cares about or loves them on some level because the idea that someone cannot both love and hurt you is so stereotypical. Your abuser can genuinely want you in their lives and need you and, on some level, love you, and IT DOESN’T MATTER if that love doesn’t stop them from hurting you. 

On the other hand, portraying the victims of abuse as capable of flipping an off switch and hating the abuser with no hesitation or second thoughts to the point of unapologetically and cheerfully helping someone kill them and having no mixed feelings about it sends the message that if you CAN’T do that, then are you really abused? Are sure you’re not complicit in your own abuse? Do you even want to get rid of them? 

So this is basically why the way the show ended was so painfully disappointing for me. And the main reason it hit so hard was that it was initially so good and had so much promise. I really expected more.

[cafeinthemoon]

The Home I Crave - Chapter 4

Title: The Home I Crave

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: Tobirama Senju x reader

Rating: teen and up

Word count: 2938

Chapter: 4/?

Symbols: ⭕ | ➕ | 💛 | ▶️▶️

Read the previous chapter here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Though your future husband had his own residence separated from the Hokage’s, you weren’t sent there after being informed that you would stay in the village for the next days. Instead, you would be a guest in Hashirama’s house, and Mito would provide you the orientation you’d need in your new role.

The Uzumaki princess, with her vivid presence and smartness, helped you to find ways to fill your days with meaningful activities, so you wouldn’t see time passing until the wedding and wouldn’t have many chances to feel like a burden staying in the house of strange people counting on their assistance. You couldn’t entirely avoid this sensation, which led you to decline from small favors and treats that were offered to you from time to time; on the other hand, you found some relief once you realized that the manners showed by the Hokage’s wife during the reception were not mere formality: Mito’s interest in your well being was genuine, and she was not going to give up on making you as comfortable as possible under the current circumstances.

It was better this way, you thought. So you just let her be the friend she was willing to be.

In fact, Mito Uzumaki was an excellent friend: she would always answer your questions and doubts with honesty and objectivity and never hide when she didn’t have the information you needed; the things she asked about you were never embarrassing or invasive, and you always saw yourself willing to talk when she made you questions. You spoke to her about your life with your sisters, your training at your clan’s compound, your use of Doton and how it is a characteristic of your family since the oldest generations; Mito explained that her clan was specialized in sealing techniques the same way your were proficient in Earth Style, and when you asked her about them, she described the history and the creation of the most important among them.

During your time together, most of your conversations consisted in you two exchanging your experiences as shinobi, your families and your relationships with your friends. You discovered opinions and preferences in common despite the obvious differences in your personalities: while you had a tendency to live in your head if you were left alone and not speak your mind unless you were invited too, Mito was straightforward when it came to expressing her thoughts, though she was never rude while doing it; many times she took the initiative to start the conversations, and the mission of taking out your thoughts would almost always fall on her shoulders, no matter how many times she assured you that you were free to speak whenever you needed to.

One day, when this situation happened, she looked into your eyes and gave you an advise for which you would thank her later, when you’d be a married woman facing the challenges typical of your new condition:

- I am always encouraging you to not keep everything to yourself when you have the chance to talk, but maybe I’ve failed in explaining why I insist so much in this, y/n-san.

You blinked in surprise and curiosity.

- In this case, let me ask you your reasons for doing this, Mito-san.

- This can be good for you in any circumstance of your life, of course, but the main reason is that this is the most efficient way to communicate with Tobirama.

You clenched your hands to avoid the trembling that was about to reach them after you heard his name. It’s been a while since it was mentioned between you: you’d usually hear it when Hashirama came home and mentioned something concerning his work or a message sent by his brother. However, you always felt it differently whenever it was said by Mito.

You asked little about him since that conversation you had when you first met the Uzumaki woman. You didn’t like to think you were avoiding the topic, though your attitude would say that this was exactly what you were doing; the case was that you didn’t have so much to ask about him after everything she told you that day, and knowing that he was the brain behind the measures of the new alliance between your clans already said too much about the person he was: any other minor information you’d get would sound superfluous compared to that. Mito noticed your reluctance in this, and despite never asking about your reasons for it, she chose to respect it.

To speak the truth, you would only talk about Tobirama when you got in touch with something – a place, a circumstance, an idea – that, according to Mito, reminded of him in some way. There was a time when you were taking a walk at the shores of a river around the village and she commented that you were walking at one of his favorite places to fish and spend time alone after stressful days.

- If he suddenly disappears, it is almost certain that you will find him here – she smiled – But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to come here unannounced when he’s trying to get some rest. He’s too attached to his privacy.

You looked around and couldn’t judge him for this feeling: that was a beautiful, calm place; you wouldn’t appreciate being interrupted if you were there seeking for relief from the burdens of the day.

Episodes like this happened with some frequency, and you took the opportunities to enrich the image you were creating of him. Everything you discovered was interesting in their own way, though you weren’t still able to decide if your final opinion was good or not. Maybe it was something between the two – shinobi were always in the gray zone of the human moral compass. And when you remembered that you, as a kunoichi, were included in this account, you refrained yourself from pointing your finger at him.

However, there was a parameter that remained unconsidered to you among all the others, perhaps because of your lack of attention or the great amount of urgent preoccupations you already had, and about which you’d only come to think when you were directly led to it – Tobirama’s physical appearance.

After your experience with Hokage, you were aware that sometimes informations could be deceiving depending on their source and the person who received them. With all you’ve heard about him and considering what you thought of the arrangements led by him, it was possible that your betrothed’s looks were just like his personality: not the most pleasing one, and even scary at some point. But when you added the fact that he had a brother like Hashirama, well, maybe he was nothing like this. At some moment, you started to imagine that he could resemble his brother in some traits, or he was just like the men you saw working in the office during the meeting: all of them had a certain level of resemblance, something that made it possible for a stranger to identify them as members of the same clan, even if they were not blood relatives.

Whatever the truth, all you had was a just a vague idea, a second hand thought that you weren’t willing to turn into a concrete concept or to confirm with Mito: it was more interesting just to hear her talk about his actions and attitudes.

You would only change your mind when, thanks to an unexpected incident, you ended up finding a portrait of him.

You were still getting used to the structure of the Hokage’s house: though your own residence at your clan’s compound was large, formed by many rooms, the corridors were few, not enough to form the same intricate labyrinth of the building you were now. Still, you wouldn’t avoid walking through them without company in order to train your sense of direction, and thanks to the orientations you received from Mito regarding the rooms you had permission to enter, you weren’t afraid of invading the wrong place. But you would still  get confused if you entered the wrong corridor.

This is what happened that time, so that instead of reaching the living room you got into a narrow hall with a collection of photographs on the walls of both sides.

You recognized some of the landscapes in them from the path you and your group took when you arrived at Konoha’s territory: hills, rivers and the forest’s entry; some of the residences and farms were there too.

You also identified some of the people: there was a rectangular portrait of Hashirama Senju in what you understood to be his official clothing as the village’s governor; Mito Uzumaki appeared in another picture right beside it, surrounded by a group of men and women with their hair as red as hers and dressed in the same style, leading you to the conclusion that they were part of her family or were close friends; there were also pictures with some of the people you saw in the office beside those two.

The majority of the photos were of people you didn’t know but were certainly close to the ones you knew. There was a photograph of a middle aged man wearing a reddish armor; wrapped on his forehead there was a white stripe with the crest of the Senju. The man had his skin as tanned as Hashirama’s, and his hair was straight and dark just like his, though it wasn’t that long. Looking closer, you noticed the two shared similar face traits despite the lack of gentleness and freshness of the older man if compared to the younger one. There was no identification in the picture, but you thought that this man could be Hashirama’s father. If this was the case, they must haven’t had nothing in common besides the appearance.

Near this photograph, there were other, larger, with a group of children surrounding a woman, all of them wearing the Senju traditional clothing. One of the children, a boy with a bowl haircut, shared some resemblance with the man of the previous image: you looked at him for a moment and recognized Hashirama. The other children, all boys, and the woman were too different from him and between themselves, but there was something in them that told you they were relatives, so that if that was the Hokage’s mother, those boys should be his brothers. With this, your natural reaction was to wonder which of them could be Tobirama.

The first kid, close to Hashirama, had a scar on his cheek and brown hair; he was the one with the widest smile. The second, sitting right after him with a sweet look and some shyness in his manners, had white skin and a hair parted in two contrasting shades: white on the right side and dark brown on the left. The third boy, standing up beside the woman and separated from the others, was the one who most resembled her; he was staring at the camera with a serious, firm look. He had the same light skin tone of the second child, and his shaggy hair was of a shade similar to the lighter side of that boy’s hair as well; but the thing that caught your attention in this one was that pair of red eyes, just like the woman’s, with which he looked into the lens, to the photographer or to something beyond them. It wasn’t the look one would expect from a child.

Considering what Mito told you during the tea and what you thought of the arrangements, you were thinking that this kid had the highest probability of being…

- Oh.

Your voice escaped when you took a step ahead to observe the next photograph and found in it a figure entirely different from the ones you’ve saw until that moment.

The portrait was the same size as the one of the Hokage and it showed a young man in a blue armor, with his arms crossed, looking at the lens with the same perspicacity you sensed in the boy’s look. His armor was different from the one of the middle aged Senju who you supposed to be his father: around his shoulders there was a huge, white fur attached to his forearm protectors, all of them together creating the impression that his torso was larger than it really was; under the armor, he was wearing a black shirt that covered his neck and arms until his fists; he wasn’t wearing gloves. On his face, he had a gray happuri with the Leaf crest carved on its forehead.

The man had white, voluminous hair that would rebel against the steadiness of his general aspect, as a minor inconvenience that remained out of his control and to which he was already used; looking closer, you realized it wasn’t of a pure white, but of a slight shade of gray. His skin, only visible through his uncovered hands and face, was light, even pale if you compared him to other people who spent as much time under the sunlight as him certainly did as a warrior; was it a peculiarity of him or just the environment where the photo was taken? You had no way to tell. On his face, too, the light tone served as a white canvas for what you thought to be facial painting or tattoos: three red marks spreading over his chin and under his eyes as slits opened by a kunai; around his eyes, black, thin lines that would contour their natural form, already sharp, giving them the sensitivity of a hunter’s eyes.

Those eyes, you realized with astonishment, were as red as the eyes of the boy from the other photograph.

You went back to the children’s picture to observe his face with more attention, and didn’t need much time to notice the similarities between them. The mannerisms, the traits, the seriousness – they were the same person.

It was when you started to look for portraits of the other children and was unable to find anything except the one of Hashirama in the Hokage’s clothing. You already knew that the Senju head had lost his siblings to war, but just a few days ago you found out there was only one brother left for him. You looked at the blue armored man again…

- Finally I found you.

You startled, almost letting a scream out. When you turned, you found Mito smiling at you.

- If I was an enemy, you would be in trouble.

A glimmer in her eyes insinuated that she has been observing you for a while, waiting for you to notice her presence. You never cursed your lack of sensory abilities as much as in that moment.

- I… I am sorry for this – you apologized, looking at the photographs – I took the wrong corridor and ended up here. I wasn’t expecting to find these pictures, so…

You glanced behind, as if sensing the man’s image right over your shoulder. This didn’t escape Mito’s attention: she walked closer to its spot on the wall, looking in the eyes of the warrior. This gesture eliminated any remaining doubts about the identity of the man.

- You already guessed, didn’t you? – with her unaltered voice, she questioned you without taking her eyes off the picture.

You turned to the portrait too, facing his gaze again.

- This photograph was taken four or five years ago, but he remains the same – Mito continued – Not even a line of expression appeared on his forehead or in the corner of his eyes since then – and with a smile – The same goes to Hashi. Just another talent of the Senju.

You observed the portrait in silence, not interrupted by the princess: having familiarity with arranged marriages as much as you, she was aware of the time one needed to become accustomed with the looks of their betrothed under these circumstances.

You only spoke when you felt prepared to, and when you did, it was to point out that he looked even younger than you expected after all the things you discovered about him.

Mito laughed.

- I don’t blame you. If I didn’t know him or his brother and saw them together for the first time, I would certainly think that Hashirama is the younger one.

You laughed too; when your smile faded, you turned back to your contemplative expression. Now, the white collar and the aspect of his eyes just gave you an idea.

- I hope you don’t find it strange what I’m going to say, Mito-san, but he reminds me of a wolf.

Mito crossed her arms, looking at the picture; now that you were becoming used to her manners, you no longer found it weird to see her doing gestures like that while dressing in noble clothing.

- Nobody never said that about him before, at least not to me – she commented – But it makes sense, now that I’m looking at him.

You stood in silence for some time. You spent it training your eyes to get used to Tobirama’s sight, to the weight of his gaze, for you sensed that once you were together, you wouldn’t have such time. The funny thing was that, while you stood there, you didn’t notice how much time passed, only waking up when you heard Mito’s giggle beside you.

You turned, only to find her still contemplating her brother-in-law’s image.

- In his own way, he’s a beautiful man, isn’t he?

You sensed heat coming up your cheeks, mas didn’t refuse to reply.

- Yes. I dare say yes.

[shihalyfie]

02 and the question of “what a life is”

One topic more specific to 02 is the question of what exactly counts as being “alive”, which is initially brought up as a question when Ken discarding the Kaiser persona is directly caused by the revelation that he might have misjudged this, leading into the second half of the series where other issues reveal that it’s not as easy of a question as one thinks. In the end, 02 never gives a concrete answer about what constitutes the boundary between something that’s “alive” and “not alive” -- but, being a series that’s very much about pragmatism, gives a much clearer answer as to what one should do about it.

While it’s not named directly in the series itself (I’m not sure if this specific named concept was the intent, as it’s since expanded to become a fairly ubiquitous theme in sci-fi and fantasy overall), 02 deals heavily with a question related to a thought experiment called the “Chinese room problem”, which originated as a question related to artificial intelligence development and has since expanded into having philosophical and spiritual nuances (perhaps fittingly for Digimon Adventure, which is heavily about digital technology and sci-fi but mixes it with a lot of philosophical and spiritual imagery).

The Chinese room problem goes like this: let’s say you’re a person who has never learned, studied, or grown up with the Chinese language (or, really, any language you can’t understand or read; Chinese was only used as an example because the person explaining the thought experiment was using himself as an example and couldn’t read or understand it). You’re locked in a room that has a bunch of Chinese phrasebooks that give you instructions -- basically, they indicate common Chinese phrases, and sensible responses you can give to them (without actually translating it to a language you know). Someone slips you a piece of paper under the door with some Chinese phrases on them. You use the phrasebooks to write appropriate responses, and slip the paper back. The person outside the door reads the paper, sees what they gave you, and sees the response you gave them. It makes sense, of course, because the phrasebook told you to write an answer that made sense. But can you be said to actually understand Chinese? No, because you were just following instructions without actually understanding what they meant.

So let’s expand this to make it a bit more complicated: say you have an AI or a robot or something of the sort that accepts “input” -- people saying things to it, or showing it things -- and gives expected “responses” that seem sensible, through a bunch of complicated programs and processes in its programming. Can you say this robot is “alive”? One might say “no”, because, no matter how complicated and intricate it is, all of it is technically following a set of routine commands telling it to do certain things in response...or so you might say, but couldn’t you say the same thing about a human brain, which also takes input, processes it according to its own instructions (just caused by chemical processes instead of bytes and code), and creates output? After a certain point, this question is going to become far more of a philosophical, spiritual, and potentially even religious question than anything.

Adventure and 02 undoubtedly have a very spiritual element to it, given the heavy usage of Neoplatonic themes, the concept of “destiny” that hangs heavily over it, and the fact that Digimon themselves are heavily linked to spiritual things like Japanese youkai or other spirits and literally being part of the human soul. Digimon partners are treated as part of their partners’ human psyches, yet are also treated as individuals. And, in the end, it’s driven home that Digimon are made out of data -- but “digital technology” is treated as something that can communicate with such spiritual things. So here’s the question: At what point can a Digimon be called a living being?

Well, really, the first time this had really been brought up was the allusion to the issue in Adventure episode 20 -- when Taichi takes the revelation of the Digital World being a “digital” world a bit too literally and decides to treat it as a game, acting a bit too recklessly as a result. Koushirou himself buys into the theory of “real bodies” (which turns out to be false; this isn’t a Matrix situation where their bodies are sleeping somewhere, but they are actually being migrated here), but the point by the end of this episode is: just because everything is “data” doesn’t mean you get to treat it any less lightly. Do not treat the Digital World like a “game world” or something you can fiddle with at will.

Even if the technicals may make it seem like a computer, the reality of the situation is that everything you do has a permanent effect that you cannot instantly take back. It doesn’t matter what it’s “made” up out of; the issue is more about what you do, and the practical impact it has on what’s around you. (This will very important for later, so keep this in mind as we go.)

So by the time we get to 02, the first time this issue is brought up again is in 02 episode 20, when Ken, as the Kaiser, recognizes the kids’ Digimon Baby forms as the “plushies” he’d seen them carrying in real life during the soccer match back in 02 episode 8, which reveals a lot about his mentality in approaching the Digital World and Digimon -- he’d been under the impression that Digimon couldn’t leave it, apparently, and that they were therefore all part of a simulated game. Driving it in further is that Wormmon refers to the Digimon having “bodies” (as in, physical bodies), which trips Ken’s radar that there’s a lot more to this than he’d thought. There’s also a lot of evidence that Ken wasn’t just solely trying to buy into this concept for the sake of denial and self-justification; up until this point, he’d been noticeably hesitant to physically harm other humans, so he really did buy into there being a substantial difference here.

...But, funnily enough, we later learn in a flashback in 02 episode 23 that Ken didn’t necessarily always have this attitude of “Digimon aren’t living beings, so I get to do whatever I want with them” back during his original adventures with Wormmon in the Digital World. One could argue that maybe he “knew” that Digimon were alive back then and the Dark Seed just made him forget through trauma, but even Taichi hardly treated the Digimon badly back when he thought that everything was a “game” back in Adventure (rather, he was reckless with himself more than anything). Later in this very series, there’ll end up being a massive debate on what exactly constitutes a Digimon having a “soul”. No, the real issue is actually...

What tips Ken over the edge into discarding the Kaiser persona is empathy -- when he retroactively reflects on the implications of the Digimon being “alive” meaning that every single action he’d done had an impact on causing “pain” or “torture” on others. That’s why it didn’t matter so much to him back then, because he was willing to treat Wormmon with the respect of a living being, regardless of what he was made out of (and, really, humans are more likely to be kind to things than otherwise, even when they’re supposedly “artificial”; for an extreme example, see how people are inclined to treat their robotic vacuum cleaners like family members, or have a hard time picking rude choices in video games, and those are all things you have much less of an argument for there being any actual pain inflicted).

And, hence, the main reason why the kids rail so much on the Kaiser for suggesting the heresy of “resetting the Digital World”: because he’s treating something with the gravity of “reality” like it’s something he can just toy with for his own convenience. Who cares what it’s made up of? There are actual civilizations building a livelihood here and “living beings” that can feel pain or show emotion. Nobody ever gave the kids immediate knowledge that Digimon have souls or any higher answer like that -- it’s just that the Kaiser is a callous, unempathetic jerk who’s willing to toy with so many lives and living individuals for his own pleasure. And, most importantly, everything the Kaiser has done here is something he can’t take back, and has to accept the consequences of; this wasn’t a place where he could vent out his feelings of being unable to “take back” Osamu’s death and treat everything lightly.

It doesn’t actually matter what it’s made up of -- the fact is that they act like living beings, show obvious personal feelings and a propensity to feel pain, and thus have the right to be treated as such. If you’re practically able to observe this, then you should be respecting that.

Once Archnemon takes over the position as most prominent antagonist, the kids start dealing with her Dark Tower Digimon that she uses to indiscriminately destroy things. This initially creates a lot of confusion for the kids, especially when Ken and Stingmon so easily kill Thunderballmon and it looks to them like he’s gone right back into sadism after supposedly being reformed -- thus, this would provide an issue with Ken’s apparent lack of empathy if he’s allowed to keep going, because he (seemingly) hasn’t learned his lesson and will go on to keep hurting more victims.

When Golemon goes to destroy the dam, it’s repeatedly commented on how unusual it is for a Digimon to just go and destroy a dam for no reason except to ruin people’s lives -- even the enemies back in Adventure at least had a power-hungry motive, and the non-verbal “wild” ones back in File Island were ultimately territorial at worst, and certainly not interested in wanton destruction without reason. On top of that, in fact, only two people -- Iori and Miyako -- in this group of five are actually that vehemently in favor of trying to spare Golemon for the sheer reason of it being a living being -- Daisuke starts to consider the fact that it may become necessary to save potential victims before Ken is even brought into the picture, Takeru points out how close they are to push-coming-to-shove, and Hikari clearly laments the fact it may become possible but doesn’t take nearly of the strong “we absolutely cannot do this” stance that Iori and Miyako have. And, after all, Takeru and Hikari were there back in Adventure when killing some very sentient Digimon became necessary, and learned that it may be something you have to do if you want to prevent more victims, and Daisuke had personally been a victim of Vamdemon back in 1999 and also happens to be one of the most pragmatic in this group.

Thus, the reveal that Golemon is actually a Dark Tower Digimon confirms two things for them: firstly, that it’s very unlikely that Golemon is powered by anything but a sheer instinct of wanton destruction, and secondly, that Ken does, indeed, have a concept of empathy. The kids had already noticed that something was “unusual” about Golemon in that it seemed to be incapable of independent action, just an order to “mindlessly destroy”, and it being what the series refers to as “a Dark Tower in the shape of a Digimon” just happens to confirm that it may not actually be that capable of independent action or emotion -- which they then realize that Ken also realized, and thus that he wasn’t killing Digimon out of callousness. This is, also, effectively, the same reason they’d been okay with killing Chimeramon earlier -- because there was absolutely no evidence that it had been capable of sentient reason or anything besides “destruction on instinct”.

So, again: their judgment on the situation is based on a practical observation about whether the entity in question was capable of having emotions or independent thought, and, again, a question of empathy...

...because we learn that the same process, when applied to enough Dark Towers, is enough to create a Digimon who is capable of that kind of independent thought and doesn’t feel up to taking orders, regardless of whether Archnemon is his “creator” or not. So we’ve got a demonstration of a Digimon who’s clearly capable of independent thought in ways the other Dark Tower Digimon are not (he even voices “envy” for the other single-tower Digimon Archnemon creates for being unable to think about anything), and starts exhibiting irrational behavior and the concept of “emotions”.

Recall the issue of the Chinese room problem: if we’re talking about a room of phrasebooks that simply take one input and export output, you, in the middle of the room, can’t really be said to be “understanding” Chinese. But the more complex the inputs and expected outputs get, the more complicated and intricate and explanatory those phrasebooks are going to need to be, and at some point, given a complicated enough question you get, if you’re capable of answering that in the same way a human might be expected to, that information in the phrasebooks will have to be explanatory enough to an extent you’ll be said to understand Chinese. Exactly “how complicated” or “how nuanced” does a program get before we tip that boundary? Clearly there is some difference between BlackWarGreymon and the other Dark Tower Digimon, but what is it?

And when 02 episode 32 comes around and Agumon decides to have a little bonding chat with BlackWarGreymon, even he can't answer the question definitively as to what a "soul" or “heart” is -- nobody in this narrative can, and this series has no answer. There’s no real clear-cut rule as to the boundary as to when one can be considered sentient. But while Agumon may not be able to immediately yank out deep philosophy, he at least has a deep level of insight and understanding as to what it means -- you have feelings for others, you have emotions, you have things you want that aren’t necessarily what others expect you to do, and you can bring your own perspective to the table.

The debate over what to do with this also leads to the rift between Takeru and Iori that they have to work towards mending during their Jogress arc -- Takeru’s trauma regarding Patamon in Adventure has spiraled him all the way over into prejudice against anything related to the darkness, and Iori, who understands there’s more to the situation than that, but also happens to be on the other extreme of considering it immoral to kill anything regardless of whether it’s about to murder a ton of other victims while it’s at it.

Ultimately, Adventure and 02 is a narrative that prioritizes “pragmatism” first, and the moment it’s made clear BlackWarGreymon isn’t going to cause problems anymore, the kids all decide it’s fine to let him be. In the end, whether BlackWarGreymon is “alive” is a philosophical question, but...

...whether they should hold back in fighting just to “spare lives” really has no bearing on that question. Enemies like LadyDevimon and the other Digimon the kids are ultimately forced to end up fighting are clearly alive with their own emotions -- it’s just that those emotions do happen to be uncontrolled sadism and an active desire for wanton destruction. Miyako herself even observes that LadyDevimon is a “coward” -- but she’s also still emotionally torn by the fact they end up killing her, and the story also doesn’t give her grief for this, because there’s no sin for her to have empathy. She recognized what it meant to kill a life, but they also cannot be blamed for taking that life in the process of saving multiple others. The issue of “whether it’s alive or not” had always been a separate question from the morality of fighting said lives -- and, either way, it’s still valuable that characters like Hikari, Miyako, and the other Chosen Children aren’t necessarily doing this because they like doing it, because it’s still important to keep that feeling of “empathy” in their hearts, even if push did ultimately come to shove.

So when BlackWarGreymon does return, again, nobody has an answer for him on whether he has a soul or not, but in 02 episode 47, Agumon, V-mon, and Wormmon encourage him to embrace the concept of life by “experiences” -- happiness, sadness, pain, playing and enjoying life with those you care about. Because those experiences are “real”, and Agumon himself says that “those experiences have made me who I am”; regardless of the higher philosophical question of whether he has a soul or not, he’s still someone who’s capable of having experiences and acting based on his memory of them, and that’s what’s really important. And hence, when BlackWarGreymon sacrifices himself one episode later, it’s because he understands the meaning of “doing something for others”, and is also implicitly mourned by the other Digimon, who had never failed to see him as “someone they could have befriended”, regardless of what he had originally been made up of.

It’s also why the kids are so traumatized by Archnemon and Mummymon’s deaths in 02 episode 48 -- they had no reason to be personally attached to them prior to that, and Archnemon had even said that her personal goals were nothing but wanton destruction in 02 episode 29 (which had been the first time Iori had really considered that pacifism may not be completely possible here). All of the wacky hijinks between the two of them had largely been outside of their view. But even back in 02 episodes 36-37, the kids had understood that there was some degree that they were harmless if left alone, and in the end, they watched Archnemon die in unambiguous pain and Mummymon die in the name of true love, by dying in a suicide attack because of his despair over losing her.

Archnemon and Mummymon had ultimately turned out to be “artificial lives” on their own, created at the hands of Oikawa to be his minions, and also somewhat guided by “wanton destruction” and not entirely fully aware of what they wanted to do independent of him -- BlackWarGreymon’s existential crisis had caused them to question their place in the world in 02 episode 47...and quickly shrug it off again. Could you say anything about whether they were alive or not, or whether they had souls? Perhaps it doesn’t really matter -- whether or not they were able to fully have deep thought the same way BlackWarGreymon and the other Digimon had, they at the very least were able to feel attachment and pain, and that alone deserved to be respected.

In the end, you could say that’s 02′s answer -- or non-answer -- to the Chinese room problem. You may not be able to answer the intrinsic philosophical question of whether it’s got a “soul” or is “alive” or not, but if it’s clearly demonstrating an observable and practical phenomenon of showing emotions, acting on some degree of independent will, taking in experiences and acting on them, and being able to feel a sense of pain, then you should still treat it with the appropriate amount of empathy -- regardless of what it’s made out of.

Incidentally, we do actually get a very small revisiting of this topic in Kizuna, when Menoa creates a ton of Eosmon by “scientific” methods -- and, much like the Dark Tower Digimon, they’re not recognized as living beings by anyone in this narrative, because their behavior is clearly that of mindlessly following Menoa’s orders; Yamato won’t consider it a Digimon, and Menoa herself even acknowledges that this is in no way a real “partner” like her true one, Morphomon. What does get Menoa to recognize Morphomon within Eosmon is when it does one thing -- smile -- that’s clearly outside that view, and an obvious show of independent emotion, leading Menoa to realize that her true, living partner may be closer than she’d thought.

[emy-mystory]

Unit 3: KIDSNEXTDOOR

Probably a good amount of my childhood was dedicated to watching cartoons. I did have my fair share of drama shows on Nickelodeon but the cartoon shows that were shown on Cartoon Network were always the most intriguing to me. I'm talking about Chowder, Misadventures of Flapjack, Total Drama Island, Adventure Time, Regular Show, etc. I even enjoyed watching the older cartoons that the channel would show early in the morning which included classic Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry episodes. In fact, I've actually always have had a soft spot for older cartoons. For some reason, it gives me a sense of comforting nostalgia that I wished I had endured earlier. I currently feel the same about the older Simpsons episodes but that's not the case for this assignment.

The one cartoon that sticks with me the most was this very awesome, action-packed show called Codename: Kids Next Door.

If you have not seen at least an episode of Codename: Kids Next Door then you either did not have a TV, a great childhood, or both.

This show was so engagingly unique, that I would not mind doing a marathon of rewatching all of the episodes X2.

It was a show focused on these five friends that all lived in a rambunctious treehouse that acted as their headquarters for their sector V, Kids Next Door. Each kid is usually referred to as their number (1-5) and has a specialty that can range from smarts to fighting wit. In order to defend themselves from enemy agent sectors of teenagers and adults, they create and utilize wacky gadgets that can be made from odd materials such as bubblegum, old wood, spare tires, etc. They belong to a bigger agent organization of other sectors also filled with kids that have the same purpose. The universe of this show is so well-thought-out that it can easily become a world one kid would wish to live in. Overall, each episode consists of one goofy yet intense mission after another which leaves you with bewildering eyes while being on the edge of your seat every time.

I must admit, I have to give credit for the diversity given in this main cast. Literally, one kid is British (red) while the other Australian (orange). We have representation of POC (Black and Asian), and there's even body diversity from the heavy kid! (Blue)

I think it's pretty safe to say that almost every kid's dream was to make and live in a treehouse. Unless you have a fear of termites.

The whole show in general really did cater to kids. Whether if it was imagination fueled by the variety of weapons and missions or the distaste of teenage culture and embarrassing parents, it really was genuine to being level-headed with the perspective from a child's visionary point of view. To me, the show took on a genuine take on being made for kids.

It even covered a variety of topics that would have the affected demographic be children. But it did it in a way where it was not only creative but also obtain a more complex feature to it.  For the sake of keeping the storyline interesting while also making the lesson of the episode even more memorable for children to learn from. Whether it'd be out of reflection or relatability.

I'm talking about:

PINKEYE

(I actually related to this one because I would always get pink eye. Oddly enough, I think I had pink eye while watching this episode for the first time.)

LICE

BEING FORCEFED GRANDMA'S FOOD

A KID'S CURIOSITY OF HOW A TEENAGE GIRL'S BODY FUNCTIONS

Even though the storyline of these episodes would be rather dramatic, it still was fun to watch all the creativity unfold as a child. If anything, it helped lighten the mood of such issues with witty dialogue, ambitious fighting climaxes, and silly innocence. It gives allows children to feel relatability on certain issues they would go through in which can be whole-heartily comforting to a child's fear of getting lice or pinkeye for the first time. I know I was pretty comforted or at least felt accompanied to the pinkeye episode when I saw it for the first time. It felt cool to see some other kids going through the same thing all the while the episode takes a dramatic turn to help alleviate that common, boring topic into a story concept that's grander and intricate; something that will interest the kids. Overall, these episodes gave kids a distracting yet whimsical portrayal of life's struggles.

I would like to touch base back to the bra conversation. Basically in that episode, Number 1 and Number 2 thought BRAs stood for "Battle Ready Armor," which made them think bras were actually magical weapons to help them fight more efficiently. (I wish)

So they went to their friend's house (Number 5) who was sick at the time. While keeping up a front to "care" for their friend, they ended up sneaking into her teenage sister Cree's bedroom where they found her stash of bras.

And I'm pretty sure you can figure out how that went...

(Of course anything with bras is forbidden for children, right?)

((I really hope you can see this because this scene itself just defines the badass action sequences this show can hold))

Anyways, I wanted to point this out because it reveals also another theme that is prevalent in this show: Growing up.

As I said, this show presents agent organizations run by kids, teenagers, and adults. Well, it is actually all a tear-jerking cycle that is upheld within this universe.

The kids are kids until they are 13 where they are decommissioned and get transferred to the teenager agent organization where they stay until they are 18.

Even though this process sounds absurd, the sentimental value of it hits harder than you think...

Yes, they wipe any memories they have of being in the Kids Next Door.

This explains why teenagers can be so fierce and violent towards KND because they do not have any recollection to possess any empathy for the organization they partook in during their beloved childhood years. This heavy implication of agism can connect back to how as teenagers, we always think being a child is embarrassing. But that's probably because we barely take any consideration of all the fun that emerged in being a kid.

And of course, there are some goofy gags to this kid vs teenagers concept as well..:P

(The slapstick comedy and clever humor from both videos always gives me a giggle)

(I guess babies come from Philly...you heard the man!)

((I also want to point out how Number's 5 "knowledge" of such a provocative concept just added to her spunkiness because it implies that she's supposed to be that one friend that happens to know a lot more than you do. From that, I always thought of her as an iconic girl character whom I wished was my friend...she really did give out that Boss Girl energy))

But regarding the growing up issue brought up in the show, I can still say that topic is also relevant to me, even to this day. Especially when it came to graduating high school, going to college, trying to make a name for myself, etc. I kind of wanted to take some kind of gap year or break or SOMETHING from it all to stop myself from feeling older and proceeding to life's deeper void. But I know I should not view it that way. We should not view growing up as something so disgraceful. We, especially I, should start viewing it as a way to grow wiser, to sustain emotional strength, etc. because how else are we going to learn from life's values and struggles if we don't have the willpower to maneuver through it in the first place? How will we know we won't succeed if we don't even make an effort trying? We shouldn't let agism intimidate us with demeaning stereotypes as there is advice to be taken and lessons to be learned.

In conclusion, Codename: Kids Next Door helped kids feel known, reassured, and most of all, have fun.

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

In Defence of Team Purple Lion

Voltron: Legendary Defender and its final season remains as one of the most poorly received children’s shows in the past decade. The show was a reboot from DreamWorks of the popular Voltron franchise owned by WEP LLC (World Event Productions) who were responsible for the first version of the show Voltron: Defender Of The Universe (1984), an adaptation of the anime show GoLion by Toei Animation. It initially started strong when released in 2016, with a premise that of a typical mech-centric kids’ show; 5 pilots of 5 robot lions coming together to form one big robot (Voltron) to fight against a big bad alien villain in space, however despite the formulaic appearance it proved to be a captivating watch with detailed and beautiful animation as well as surprisingly deep subject matter. The themes and messages of the show touched on darker topics such as racism and genocide with the backdrop of a complex portayal of war while still balancing it with the light-hearted and goofy dynamics of the diverse main characters, played by a diverse cast. Produced by Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos, both of whom had worked on the acclaimed Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend Of Korra, the story set up promised an equally deep and intricate story for VLD as had been the case for ATLA and LoK, as a result the show attracted a large and varied fan base beyond just children, many fans adults eager to see how the story and darker themes would be resolved as well as how the minority representations would be treated.

The final season released on Dec 14th 2018 came as a great shock to fans, not only were they intensely dissatisfied with the ending, virtually no one from any area or sub fandom was happy with the season as a whole and at the time of this article’s writing it has lower than a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The show and its producers faced massive criticism over insensitive representations of minorities, an unsympathetic and condemning end for an abuse victim despite redemption for their abusers and a disempowering arc for the main woman of colour character in which she was sidelined and dismissed by her male counterparts up until her sacrifice. The core themes and messages of love, forgiveness and acceptance regardless of race were completely subverted, instead conveying to an impressionable Y-7 and above audience the opposite; heritage and race define a person rather than their own actions. As well as fans, many parents of kids who watched the show expressed unhappiness with the final season due to the toxic and regressive messages it sent. Soon after the season dropped a petition emerged to “free the original season 8 of Voltron” due to the belief that the final season was in fact an edited product of what the creators originally planned. This belief was sparked by visual inconsistencies in the season itself, the audio description not lining up with the action on screen (now fixed), one character not being played by her voice actor but her voice actually another character’s with the pitch turned up as well as comments from the cast and animators, now deleted. The strongest claims of edits were made by Tumblr user Leaking Hate in her initial meta Chasing The Ghosts Of Season 8 and the follow up, a more detailed breakdown, Seek Truth In Darkness in which she presented an alternative story that had been edited and cut down for reasons then unknown, with narrative and visual evidence from the season itself to support her argument. She and a few other fans officially came together in February 2019 to form Team Purple Lion, a team of analysts dedicated to finding the truth behind the disaster of the final season. However, since the fandom had had a poor history of harassing the show’s creators over ships (romantic relationships between characters) most attributed the poor story and resolve to an attempt to keep things neutral romantically between characters in a poor bid to please everyone. As a result the petition and campaign were merely linked to lack of shipping satisfaction for the fandom and dismissed as more toxic fandom behaviour that had been displayed previously by many fans.

Petitions and campaigns like these are not uncommon after a show or film’s ending, similar situations might be the HIMYM backlash in which fans were so unhappy with the ending of the show that there was a petition for an alternative ending, as well as the petition to Warner Bros regarding the Snyder Cut of Justice League. Both of these have actually succeeded with the Snyder cut of Justice League set to release in 2021 and the HIMYM DVD box sets containing the alternative ending, however what makes the Free VLD s8 campaign now led by Team Purple Lion unique is its claim that there’s an original finished product that the creators intended for release but was edited after completion to produce the poor final season that was released on Netflix. Often corporate meddling in creative works is common but it has not been documented before as a post production occurrence changing the finished work, it’s always taken place pre-production as was the case with Disney and Colin Trevorrow’s original script for ep. IX or during production, in the case of Justice League and Zak Snyder.

Since the start of the campaign in Dec 2018 there’s been continuous investigation and action taken by TPL to provide proof for their claims and the movement has evolved into a fight for creators’ rights, still active now a year and a half on. Their investigation early on resulted in discovering the IP holder (those who own the trademark) WEP as the ones with control over the show and therefore responsible for the released edited season 8. They’ve since defended DreamWorks and the showrunners from criticism in favour of requesting WEP and specifically President Robert Koplar, self proclaimed “steward of the property” for the original season 8 by the showrunners that was not released. There’s also been strong advocation from TPL to keep the protest against WEP’s interference with the creative team’s work peaceful to avoid dismissal and belittlement due to prior instances of the VLD fandom’s toxic behaviour that often included harassment of showrunners and toxic fan behaviour ranging from abusive remarks online to death threats, after the final season rumours were flying and the EPs faced abuse from upset fans so there was an active effort to stay civil on TPL’s part. 

TPL and the #FreeVLDS8 movement has continuously faced criticism and backlash since its start regardless, the response from fellow fans ranging from supportive to downright disbelief and even the showrunners stating publicly [March 28th 2019 Let’s Voltron podcast] that there’s no “alternate cut of Voltron” branding the idea as a “conspiracy theory”. Claims of harassment have been attributed to TPL and the legitimacy of their allegations questioned, one fan questioning the possibility of the edits’ execution as well as others categorizing them as fans creating a theory based on shipping fulfillment. The controversy and consistent campaign a year and a half on interested me greatly, therefore after being led back to the movement by the very comments discrediting them I approached Team Purple Lion for comment on the aforementioned claims as well as conducting my own research and investigation into them. 3 members of the team, Crystal Rebellion, Dragon Of Yang and Leaking Hate spoke to me openly about their campaign and my own research produced some interesting results as well. 

The basis of their argument is set on the show’s final season being an edited product, when I asked about what pushed her to this conclusion and writing her initial meta Leaking Hate explained that a mutual friend of Crystal and her’s drew their attention to it through the story saying: 

“It’s interesting, nearly ALL of the episodes had a moment or two in them where Lotor [male villain] COULD have reappeared, and didn’t. Do you think he was written in to be the savior all along, and it was the higher ups that said no, good boy Lance [one of the main characters]? It seems like, given the narrative, and even given this season, it should have been Lotura [Lotor and Allura ship name], and all that wasn’t just feels… off. And not as a Lotura stan, I mean in general.” 

“And YES I had. There was a narrative gap where Lotor should have fit, but for some reason wasn’t.” Hate said, “The initial conclusion we jumped to was that Lotor had been removed in the writing stage.” 

It wasn’t until another friend mentioned a key scene out of place in the story and she went back to view it that she started to suspect the season had been changed from its original state. The scene in question was one in which Lotor says “Follow me!” at the end of Allura’s dream sequence in s8 ep8 Clear Day, despite his death being established before and after this point in the story. “There was no reason for that Follow Me shot to be there,” Hate explained, “unless the action of the viewer following Lotor had been removed.” Having studied a Fine Art degree and therefore well versed in animation and visual art she was able to recognise scenes that had been edited unusually throughout the season once she actively searched for other visual evidence. The Follow Me scene as well as others she found are displayed in her Ghosts meta, all indicating a different story from the one told in the show, along with the evidence Leaking Hate presented some initial ideas on what the story was (a redemption arc for Lotor and several sub arcs for the main characters that resolved their stories and previously set up story beats).

[Image Description: A close up of Prince Lotor’s face from season 8 on Netflix, staring directly out of the picture at the viewer. There are subtitles showing his speech at the bottom of the image, saying “Follow me!” End ID]

After Team Purple Lion’s formation Leaking Hate went on to publish a part two to her initial Ghosts meta, a 21k word meta entitled Seek Truth In Darkness which contained all visual evidence of edits found in the season as well as an extrapolation of the initial story indicated by said edits. The original story appeared to resolve unfinished narratives and arcs that the released s8 dismissed and the treatment of the representations in the show better, from respect towards minorities to an empowering arc for Allura, the main female character. Despite the original season having a more positive story, negative feedback from fans has been more common than positive. When I questioned the team members on it Leaking Hate mentioned “most people who believe we’re wrong tend to think we’re wrong in our premise” Dragon of Yang confirming that “it’s usually the premise of “VLD was edited after completion” that people disagree with”. However the screenshots they present as visual evidence hint at some truth in their argument, the first screen cap shown below indicative of some poor edits made to the animation since 3 characters are essentially cropped out of the picture.

[Image description: A split-screen from season 8 on Netflix, featuring from left to right: an Altean pilot, Merla, Keith, Hunk’s shoulder, Pidge, the top half of Allura’s face, and the top half of Lance’s face. End ID]

Likewise this screen cap shows a split screen visually unbalanced with 2 characters at the bottom partially cropped out as well as the character on the left side with a much larger screen space than the other characters.

[Image description: A split screen from season 8 on Netflix, featuring from left to right: top left Shiro, below him is Keith in a larger section and Allura in a small triangular section below and to the right of Keith’s section. In the middle is a section showing Honerva’s mech stabbing the Voltron-Atlas mech with purple lightning shooting out. On the top right is Hunk, below him is Pidge, and below her the top half of Lance’s face. End ID]

Seasons prior to the final had always had visually balanced split screens with each character centred in their frames appropriately, indicating these and other s8 shots like them as an anomaly.

Hate reconstructed both screencaps based on what she believed they were originally:

[Image description: A split-screen from season 8 on Netflix, featuring from left to right: an Altean pilot, Merla, Keith, Hunk’s shoulder, Pidge, the top half of Allura’s face, and the top half of Lance’s face. On the top, right, and bottom of this screencap is dark pink background with the black lines of the split-screen extending to the edges of the colors, marking out where the rest of Hunk, Allura, and Lance should be visible if the view had not been cropped. With the lines extending out, Keith’s portion of the screen is also extended, leaving a completely removed section of the split-screen remaining, which is highlighted purple in this image. End ID]

[Image description: A split-screen from season 8 on Netflix, featuring from left to right: top left Shiro, below him is Keith, below and to the right of Keith is Allura in a small triangle section, the bottom of her face slightly cut off. In the middle is a section showing Honerva’s mech stabbing the Voltron-Atlas mech with purple lightning shooting out. On the top right is Hunk, below him is Pidge, and below her the top half of Lance’s face. On the left, right and bottom of the screencap is a dark pink background with the black lines of the split-screen extending to the edge of the colours, marking out where the rest of Lance and Allura should be visible if the view had not been cropped. Keith’s portion of the screen is smaller and a small dark pink section to the right separates his portion from the middle. Below him where his portion originally extended to is a section coloured dark purple that extends a little further to the left of Allura’s portion. End ID]

Other noticeable examples include scenes with the female lead Allura where her proportions do not match with any prior drawings of herself indicating that she was another character redrawn, Leaking Hate suggested Lotor as his proportions fit each instance. 

[Image description: 2 pictures of Allura in the Blue Lion from a front and centre angle side by side. On the left Allura has her eyes closed and her arms stretched out holding onto the controls, the entire cockpit is glowing blue. On the right Allura’s eyes are open with a determined look on her face, she’s slightly hunched with her arms gripping the controls, the cockpit is coloured normally. End ID]

The image on the left is of Allura from s8 ep13 and the one on the right from the same episode a few minutes later, scaled so the interiors (which are unchanging 3D models) are the same size. She is notably taller in the one on the right with her head reaching above the seat and her frame bigger, with wider shoulders and thighs.

These are just a few out of the many examples of edits made that Leaking Hate presents in her metas along with her reconstruction of the original season based on what each edit indicates. While the reconstruction is to some point subjective, the visual inconsistencies are clear and can be easily checked by watching the show at each point said to be edited.

The timeframe and possibility for the edits’ execution, called into question by a fan on a twitter thread (now deleted) stating “it’s not physically possible to make that many edits in 2 months and with leftover budget”, was also addressed by the team and their work. Leaking Hate clarified that “it wasn’t 2 months” that they took place in, “it was 6. The edits began in mid July”, a fact determined by voice actor Jeremy Shada mentioning in an interview released on July 23rd that he had gone in to record new lines at the time. Hate also said, “It’s less of a question of would they have time than it is, well. They did do it. It was nearly impossible. But the fact that it is done shows that they did.” She went on, “I think people misunderstand when we claim it was ‘edited’. They hear “it was reanimated”, but it wasn’t reanimated. There is NO new animation in the edited s8 at all. As far as I can tell, 99% of the edits are composed of tracing, clever cuts and sleight of hand.” This is backed up by all the visual evidence they present as well as their work, claiming absence of animation (making the story disjointed and incoherent in places) rather than new, additional animation changing it. 

Crystal Rebellion added, “One thing that strikes us (I feel pretty confident speaking for everyone in this case) is that Studio Mir [responsible for animating the show] is impeccably flawless with their work. Their previous work before Voltron: Legendary Defender, and even Seasons 1-6 and most of 7 are beautifully animated. Stunning. Season 8... is not. Studio Mir also had a viewing party for VLD: S8 - and they reported that they loved the final product; so the animators saw Season 8 after it was completed. The season, however, that aired, was really shoddy animation, rough transitions, music mistakes, and what appear to be alterations to still images - it isn't their usual quality of work, and moreover, the animators have stated that they don't recognize what aired. Often we've been asked something like 'Maybe they just didn't know what scenes they were animating' or 'Didn't know the intended finished product' but in this case, it is documented that they saw the final season and that it's different from what was aired. The poor workmanship in what we see from S8 - all the edits Hate goes through to find and explain, coupled with Mir's disbelief, is indicative that the animation studio had no idea this happened. That means it 1) Happened post-production and 2) It wasn't the Studio that changed anything. Dos Santos mentions in an interview [March 4th ABTV] that they were cut and pasting mouths and moving frames around - no time, no budget, and no staff left. It was all them, after it had been completed - after Mir had seen the original rendition and loved it, that all this happened. The parallel point to that to further support it is, had this been written in the script from the beginning, we would've seen a flawlessly animated season with a painful storyline. We don't see that.” 

Although Mir’s reaction to the season they viewed in October (before its official drop) has since been deleted, one animator’s response to the season 8 that was released on Netflix is still online, comparing the show to a house and stating that “every single brick of the last season is very upsetting” but “everything else is good” (translation can be found here), making it clear he was not pleased with the final product. Joaquim Dos Santos does also mention in the interview Crystal references that changes were made to season 8 after season 7 dropped, stating, “You can probably see it in the animation. If you really pay attention it’s like, it’s literally our editor cutting out mouths and puppeting different dialogue.” It’s documented that the epilogue was added to s8 late after s7 dropped however it does not have any dialogue, this statement paired with Shada’s about “still recording on Voltron” begs the question, what change was made besides the epilogue? Hate shows in her Darkness meta that Shada’s character Lance was used to replace Lotor as well as Allura in key scenes, if Shada was still recording lines (unusual since audio recording is done very early in animation production) then it would have been for these moments.

Not all criticism has been based on the editing premise however; the story they present as the original has garnered negative comments as well since it featured Lotor, a divisive character due to his moral ambiguity and previous condemnation as a killer, and predominantly focused on his redemption as well as relationship with Allura. The narrative makes it clear that Lance, the blue paladin and one of the main characters popular with fans, would not have been the focus as he was in the released season and would have been replaced by Lotor as Allura’s partner. When I brought up the claims of bias in their reconstruction Leaking Hate pondered on it. 

 “Do I love the story because it is Lotura, or do I love Lotura because the story makes me love it?” she mused, “I think it's all the same. I was able to pick out the original story because of my bias in favour of Lotor, Allura, and Lotura. Had I not been invested in those characters, and that ship, I would have had no reason to look. I am not reconstructing based on wish fulfillment, or what I want to see,” she asserted, “but the story I am finding happens to be a story that I love.” In regards to Lance and her analysis on him she stated bluntly, “I HATE Lance. Were I reconstructing based on wish fulfillment I would have him alone and miserable. But that is not a good story. The real story of OGS8 has Lance coming to love himself and to learn to accept Allura's friendship as equally worthy as her romantic affection. It has him grow into a good man, and it has him become Allura's right hand when he helps her save the man she loves. It is an uplifting and wholesome message for little boys and grown men alike. And I think it is equally important that we save S8 for Lance as it is that we save it for Lotor and Allura.” When I mentioned that some would find her dislike of Lance an argument against her she also added that “they are right to.”

“I would not trust someone claiming to have found the 'real' story if I knew they hated Lotor or Allura.” However she admitted, “I don't hate him all the time. I think, if the Lance we get in OGS8 is the Lance I believe is there, then I will find him tolerable, if irritating.”

While it’s true that Hate is critical of Lance and his character, the reconstructed story she presents in Seek Truth does reflect her words, giving him an empowering and sympathetic arc growing from his previous immature and womanising character into a selfless, respectful friend. The team have also put their efforts into creating and realising the story in their reconstruction of the original s8, Rise and Atone, and so far it has stayed true to what they’ve promised, addressing characters and their arcs, the only deviation made being a romance free conclusion in a bid to stay ship-neutral. Dragon of Yang explained the narrative decisions they made with R&A stating clearly, “If this was wish fulfillment, we would have stopped at one detail or another. Every character’s arc was halted and destroyed beyond reconciliation or catharsis. Every character deserves their story to be done justice, and open-endings give that catharsis VLD originally had while remaining respectful to everyone’s shipping preferences. VLD is a story of hope and growth, to deny that a character has grown since day 1 is to deny that there is a story there to be told, and that in turn denies a person out there - who likely identifies with that character - the feeling of being seen. The best thing we can do as scholars and as activists,” she concluded, “is try to recreate the vision the staff had originally made and do so with care and attention to the work they put into every line.”

As for the harassment claims attributed to Team Purple Lion by both fans and The Voltron Store on twitter, there’s not much to support them, and in fact a great deal to disprove them. The team has maintained a level of professionalism in both their work and in their conduct online, consistently citing sources and providing proof for claims as well as campaigning respectfully. Hate commented, “they seem to be conflating our protest with the general hatred being thrown around in the fandom. We've made a point to emphasize polite but firm protest and advocate reaching out through official channels.” While there is a lot of anger and hate from fans towards the show and the producers, none of it has been from Team Purple Lion. Their protest has continuously avoided and often defended the producers and voice actors, who have been regularly attacked by other fans during the show’s airing and since due to the poor conclusion, all of whom TPL have made clear are under NDAs and cannot comment freely (although it’s worth noting, they stopped actively promoting the show on their social media after the season 8 release). Instead their questioning has focused on WEP, the company who own the Voltron trademark, after discovering through a meta analysis of a VLD episode signs that they were meddling with the creators’ vision of the show and ordered them to change it against the producers’ wishes. While it was only a speculative piece, WEP’s quick reaction to the release of said meta by claiming through their Voltron Store twitter that they “do not have any influence over the creative direction of the show” despite ignoring fans for months after the season release suggests some truth to it. Twitter user Eros compiled all evidence of their involvement since then in a Twitter thread and the majority of it is damning, their denial directly contradicting statements from the voice actors and producers prior to and after s8 that confirmed they were the controlling party and had creative input, as well as the creators’ desire to tell a progressive and empowering story however not being able to because of “other controlling parties” outside of DreamWorks. WEP have also made contradictory statements to fans about the season, saying that “nothing was edited” yet agreeing with a fan that a lot was left out and a director’s cut would sell well, as well as mocking another who left a Facebook review (March 16th 2019) complaining of being hung up on, replying to them that an “imposter” answered their phones:

[Image description: A facebook review of The Voltron Store. Text from the top reads as: 

Reviewer (name coloured out) doesn’t recommend The Voltron Store. 

Review reads: Terrible customer service. They literally hung up on me mid sentence and it was clearly not a case of a call accidentally being dropped. Extremely disappointed by the lack of professionalism!

The Voltron Store’s reply to the reviewer: if you actually talked to us you would find we are very nice people! And we never hang up on anybody EVER - unless they make outrageous claims like Power Rangers is better than Voltron!

The reviewer’s reply: The Voltron Store I did speak to a woman who identified herself Stephanie briefly, but I will never speak to your company again. Thank you for the response but I don't appreciate being called a liar. Please see the attached screenshot for proof of my abruptly ended call back in January. I desire to have no further communication with your company now, I simply decided finally other people deserved to know my personal experience.

Below is a screenshot showing the reviewer called The Voltron Store’s number.

The Voltron Store replied: We do not have a Stephanie here. That must be the issue: you dealt with an imposter! We would review the security cam footage but it does not go back 2 months. End ID.]

In stark contrast to WEP, Team Purple Lion has responded to criticism and addressed it, as well as reaching out to media outlets to clarify and correct poorly sourced claims, however have been faced with no response. Their questioning of WEP and their requests for the original season 8 on social media have been civil; their replies to the Voltron Store posts on Twitter containing no insults or cruel remarks, the harshest only critiques on the company’s lack of tact promoting a show and its merchandise that many considered offensive and toxic due to the last season. “At no point did we set out as some kind of campaign to “attack WEP” or “demand a new season”,” Crystal Rebellion said. “We were a handful of people looking at what amounted to, to use a metaphor, a puzzle that had technically been assembled but most of the pieces didn’t match up properly. We eventually decided to take the pieces that didn’t line up and look at what the picture was supposed to be. There was no ulterior motive - we just wanted the truth. When we realised the truth and it became obvious early on that Mir had seen the original season, we became convinced there was an unedited s8, perhaps in Mir’s backup drives. People saw it, which means it was a completed product, so it became a campaign to ask for it, it’s what the fandom wants, it’s what is profitable.”

In the face of all the negative response and disbelief, Team Purple Lion have gathered an overwhelming amount of evidence to support their case, not only from the show itself but also corroborating statements from the production team and cast as well as WEP’s conduct in response to the campaign. As a result TPL have gained a great amount of support and followers from the Voltron fandom, and are still gaining more a year and a half later. “I gotta give a shout out to Cosmic Royalty,” Leaking Hate said, “a group of Russian fans who reached out to us asking if they could do translations of our work. We host their translations on our website now and there’s apparently a group 500 strong on the Russian social media site VK that supports the work we do together!” Violet Howler on Tumblr has also been a big supporter as well as new fans, recently revealing themselves in the wake of good news, the fight to get the original season seemingly won as Leaking Hate displayed in her most recent meta. In it Hate outlines evidence for the franchise’s ownership changing hands from WEP to DreamWorks and therefore the release of the original season, based on the recent repromotion of the show through articles, new merchandise from the store and the new store designs that all suggest the release, since there would be no other reason to promote a show that was a PR disaster, so universally hated. Regardless of all the opposition and discredit they have faced, confirmation of the truth of Voltron’s original season 8’s fate is expected this summer before the official art book is made available, in the form of the season’s release itself. Whether the fans will be happy with it is another story, however Leaking Hate emphasised firmly that fan satisfaction was not the point, or at least not entirely. “Nothing is perfect, and nothing will please everyone. Especially a show like VLD, with almost 35 years of legacy and fans behind it. There are people who will not like the original season, there are even some who will prefer the edited one - I’m sure the WEP executives are some of them. But it will be the season it was supposed to be, the one that was a labour of love. There is so much love and care poured into every frame of VLD, this was a story that the people working on it wanted to tell; it was more than just a job to them. It was created with love, and it was with love that we fought for it, and when it comes down to it that’s what VLD’s meta narrative was about: love.”

[fireflyhwufanficwriter]

My thoughts on Dr. Stone’s Chapter 181 (“New World Science”)

My thoughts after reading Chapter 181:

01. I approve of Kohaku speaking on the first page 😁

02. The petrification beam looks different this time – individual points of light instead of just one wave. I know why that is (the tiny Medusas), but was the beam ever shown like this before this chapter?

03. If I hadn’t seen somebody say that the color spread was a crossover, I might have thought that guy was Ryusui or Tsukasa 😆

04. Senku immediately dives (figuratively) into testing the Medusas… wow 😲

05. And after that, Taiju immediately dives (literally) into testing the Medusas… 😁

06. Taiju’s face when he talked to the others about Stone Taiju and the revival fluid, with those black vertical makes me think… this isn’t just Senku’s journey. I mean, obviously it isn’t; they’re all there and everything, but finding out who petrified the world isn’t just some Senku thing or protagonist thing; it’s a question that’s burning in the heart of every former petrified person (and every petrified and still conscious person). The scale of what, and most importantly, who, all the petrified people lost just isn’t something the stone age folks can’t comprehend, and this is everybody’s journey, not just Senku’s.

07. I loved Taiju’s bouncing/swimming all over as he yelled, “One meter, one second!” and Kohaku wanting to join him because it looked fun! 😆

08. ...How did they all end up there?? Shouldn’t they have been unable to reach Japan since Japan was the furthest point? Or did they rain all over the place before, then were drawn back here due to a special magnet and thousands of years’ worth of ocean waves? (Okay… probably not, haha.)

09. Wait, even if they all fell… shouldn’t we have seen billions of tiny pieces of metal in the first chapter of the manga? Or the first episode of the anime (although it would have been pretty spoilery)? Or when Shamil and the others saw the green light?

10. Dr. Xeno’s sneakiness is really interesting. Kohaku proved that when it’s just plain sleight of hand, she can see through anybody’s tricks, so I thought at first that it was weird that she didn’t notice what Gen did. But then I realized that distracting people by talking to them, trying to sneak past them mentally, is Gen’s specialty, so he would definitely be the one to notice Dr. Xeno’s mentalist/manipulation attempt. Good job, Gen! 😊

11. I love how Chrome is just tugging at Dr. Xeno’s arm and scolding him 😆

12. Good thing they showed Tsukasa’s metal knuckle before he gave that huge punch! When did he get that?

13. If they’re like the original Treasure Island Medusa, could they reactivate it once by tinkering with it like Joel did? Of course, even if they could, the only people they could petrify would be intricate jewelers and other microtool users… that’s a pretty small selection of petrify-able people, hahaha!

14. How are Ginro and Matsukaze eating? Have they been getting food from Stanley’s crew’s supplies?

15. It’s nice to see Ukyo use his special knowledge to give insight into what they’re making, and for him to be in the spotlight! 😊

16. Would somebody mind explaining how slanted sides prevent detection? There were two frames that illustrated the concept, but I still don't fully get it... Is it like water sliding off a slanted surface instead of... yeah, I can't even finish that sentence 😆

17. ...Is Inagaki allowed to tell us all this stuff about how to avoid being detected by radar? 😆

18. Since we were shown a full moon here, I wonder if that’s significant in terms of how long things have taken… when was the last time we saw the moon? That chapter with the relationship/killing chart, right?

19. That was some fast ship construction… which… well, all the science after Treasure Island has been way too fast, but I suppose in comparison, at least this took a few pages to build, not just a couple of frames…

20. Tiny Ukyo looks so happy with the stealth ship! 😆

21. It almost looked like the end of the chapter when they presented us with the stealth ship, because I’m too used to chapters ending with them acquiring something 😆

22. I thought they would build a second ship with that shape (what’s it called again? I know it’s not a mobius strip), but then Chrome had that brilliant idea! And before that, that was a great question he asked! He’s so intelligent! He doesn’t have modern-era knowledge, but his sheer scientific imagination and curiosity and creativity is incredible! 😁

23. They blinged out their ship! Hahahahaha! 😆 That is the most blinged out ship in the history of ships! 😆 What did they use as an adhesive? Rubber? Or did they make a huge net with the Medusas and cover said ship with it? (Probably not...)

24. Some of them will fall off for sure on their sea journey; wouldn’t that be bad? What if the ones that fall are activated, or recharged and THEN activated, somehow?

25. Why didn’t they cover the underside of the stealth ship, too? Time? Materials? Or maybe it was invisible enough as it is now?

26. Of all the characters, it’s so fitting and so satisfying that the first past-21st-century technology created in this story came from an idea Chrome had! 😁

27. Okay… so… as far as I understand it, a bazillion Medusas rained down all at once. Not all over the world, because we’d have seen them earlier and Senku would have found them after he woke up – so they all rained down on this exact spot on Earth. Since one wouldn’t be powerful enough to cover the planet, they must grow more powerful as a whole the more of them are together; synergy and all that. Am I missing anything?

28. What’s under the pile of Medusas? Flat land? A mountain? Some kind of special Medusa-attracting magnet?

29. What metal is the Medusa made of? I’d have thought this would be one of Chrome’s first questions… not just now, come to think of it, but way back when they got the first one. Why hasn’t this been brought up yet? Are they types of metal that exist on the moon but not on Earth? Could it be one of those? I hope the topic comes up in a future chapter! 😊

https://firefly-hwufanficwriterrrrr.tumblr.com/MyDrStoneEpisodeMangaThoughts

[the-desolated-quill]

It’s Summer And We’re Running Out Of Ice - Watchmen (TV Series) blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. if you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I’m not going to lie. I was incredibly sceptical going into this. This isn’t the first TV adaptation of a classic novel to go beyond the source material and try to continue the story, and they nearly always suck (see The Handmaid’s Tale and The Man In The High Castle). There’s a reason why books end where they’re supposed to end. If the author intended to carry the story on, they would have done so. This is why I get angry when the TV industry arrogantly oversteps the mark and try to continue a plot that has already come to a satisfactory conclusion. Doing a sequel to Watchmen, a story that hinges on the ambiguity of its ending, is just utter madness to me, and allowing Damon Lindelof to write that sequel borders on moronic at first glance. This is the man behind the TV series Lost, a show that ran out of steam within the first couple of episodes due to the fact that the plot was complete and total bollocks and the fact that nobody could be bothered to come up with satisfying answers for these ludicrous mysteries and series arcs beforehand. They were just making that shit up as he went along. Now you’re handing Lindelof the keys to one of the most intricate and detailed comic book properties of all time?! Fuck, why don’t you just let JJ Abrams direct the next Star Wars mo- Oh yeah, I forgot, he already did that.

Thankfully, judging by this first episode anyway, HBO’s Watchmen is nowhere near as bad as Lost. It’s certainly far more engaging and coherent. Does that mean I’m looking forward to the rest of this season? Well... I don’t know if I’d go that far. I’m definitely intrigued though.

HBO’s Watchmen is a sequel to the graphic novel (Lindelof called it a remix, but come on. Grow a pair and call it what it is. A sequel). Superheroes are still illegal, Robert Redford is now the President, Rorschach’s death has inspired a white supremacist cult, and it’s raining squid.

Yeah, the raining squid thing feels like the only egregious bit of fanwank in here, to be fair. Maybe they’re going somewhere with this, but I have my doubts. Are we supposed to assume that Ozymandias has been making squid rain for the past thirty odd years in order to keep up the whole alien invasion ruse? Why squid rain? And why is everyone so nonchalant about it? Shouldn’t people be just a bit concerned by this, considering what happened in New York?

Speaking of Ozymandias, we see him riding a horse and writing plays for his butler and maid in some fancy mansion. Quite what the significance of The Watchmaker’s Son is, I don’t know. All I do know is I’m not going to be able to sleep at night without thinking about Jeremy Irons’ thighs from now on, so thanks for that.

Putting my cynicism aside for a moment, I do like what Lindelof is trying to do here. He’s not merely cashing in on the Watchmen brand. There is a genuine effort to do something fresh and different with this material, and I commend that. Watchmen’s central theme has always been about power, but whereas the source material focused mainly on its relation to sex (Comedian’s hedonism, Nite Owl’s impotence, Rorschach’s mummy issues and the sexual objectification of Silk Spectre), the TV series seems to be zeroing in on race as a topic. This I applaud. Expanding on certain areas that the graphic novel only ever really touched upon is a great idea. This doesn’t feel like a repeat of the graphic novel, but rather a clarification of it, exploring areas and themes that Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons may have overlooked. This helps set this series apart from the outset. 

The opening scenes where we see the Tulsa Massacre of 1921 is a pretty harrowing way to start. I’m ashamed to say I had no idea about the Tulsa Massacre prior to this, and we could have a whole other discussion about why schools seem to have been avoiding teaching specific topics like this in favour of the broad strokes of the Jim Crow era, but now is not the time. The fact that it’s depicted here sets the stage for what’s to come. Some have criticised the show for the length of time the opening focuses on Tulsa, claiming that it sensationalises the pain of black people at that time. I personally don’t think it does. It’s not overly graphic or gratuitous, at least in my opinion, but it is a very shocking way to open a series. Some might say even upsetting, but I think it’s important that we saw this because it’s relevant in setting the tone for the episode and indeed the season as a whole, as well as letting the audience know that this show isn’t going to fuck around or shy away from more sensitive topics, and I can respect that. Unlike Zack Snyder’s overly stylised adaptation from 2009, Watchmen the HBO series is grounded very firmly in reality.

Let’s discuss characters. This episode mostly focuses on Angela Abar, also known as Sister Night. Regina King has given some terrific performances in the past and this is no exception. She’s simply phenomenal. The way she switches from light-hearted wife and baker to violent, no nonsense vigilante cop. The shift is noticeable and yet both personas feel like they’re aspects of the same character. It’s exceptionally good. It also helps that the character herself makes for a great protagonist. Having survived the ‘White Night’ four years prior, where the Seventh Kavalry attacked the families of forty Tulsa police officers in response to the government giving special reparations to the victims of racial injustice, Angela has become cynical and battle hardened. She has no sympathy for Kavlary members and is willing to skip due process by beating one of them to a pulp and bundling him in the back of her car. She’s angry and in pain, and yet retains the audience's sympathy. I’m interested to see what happens to her over the course of the season.

I also really liked her friendship with Don Johnson’s character Judd Crawford. Johnson is a charismatic performer and Crawford is a charismatic character. He really dives into the olde western sheriff persona and seems to be having a lot of fun with it. Crawford is the only other character, besides Angela, who stayed on as a police officer after the White Night, and the two characters seem to have a great relationship. They laugh and joke around and there’s clearly a mutual respect between the two. I genuinely like this character, which is what makes his murder at the end so much more heartbreaking. Not to mention all the little details that force us to realise he may not be what he seems. We see him sniff cocaine in private and there’s a photo on his desk featuring the kid from school who aggressively asked Angela why black people deserve reparations. It doesn’t necessarily mean that Crawford himself is racist, but there’s clearly more going on with him that we don’t know about.

The final character of interest at the moment is Tim Blake Nelson’s character Wade Tillman, aka Looking Glass. We don’t know anything about him yet other than he’s a human lie detector, which I find very intriguing and I hope will be explored further as the show goes on. There’s a lot to play around with there, and the moral implications are tantalising. A conviction based not on physical evidence, but rather on the observations of one man. Even Sherlock Holmes has to back his deductions up with evidence, and yet Looking Glass clearly doesn’t need to. That just raises so many ethical questions. What if he has a particular bias towards someone? What about burden of proof? What if forensic evidence contradicts him? If Looking Glass is supposedly that accurate, does that mean the police will side with him regardless? It’s a great premise for a character and I really like Nelson’s performance, giving him a cold and detached personality that contrasts beautifully with Angela’s.

The characters and ideas are solid, however where I feel the show is lacking is with the consistency of its world building. Let’s analyse. This is an alternate history where Nixon used superheroes to extend his term limits, but after the New York attack at the end of the graphic novel, he’s been kicked out in favour of Robert Redford (nice nod to the source material there by the way. lol). As a result, black people got reparations for the racial injustices their ancestors went through and police are now unable to openly carry firearms without special permission from Panda (literally a cop wearing a panda costume). However, after the events of White Night, the government agrees to allow cops to wear masks to protect their identities, hence why quote/unquote ‘superheroes’ like Sister Night and Looking Glass are around despite the existence of the Keene Act. These are, in effect, legal vigilantes. Except already there’s a problem with conflicting messages. I like the idea of masked cops. In the current age of Black Lives Matter and police accountability, it makes sense and could be interesting to explore. However this is hindered by the whole ‘no guns’ stuff. Again, not a bad idea. America’s current gun laws are, to put it mildly, woefully inadequate. What if we went the other way? What if not only was it near impossible to own a gun, cops couldn’t even use a taser without special permission. Both ideas could work... but not at the same time.

Cops being allowed to wear masks creates the effect of empowering them through anonymity, and runs the risk of officers overstepping the mark and normal citizens being unable to hold them to account. But on the other hand, we’ve also got cops whose lives are constantly at risk and who are hindered in their duties by an overprotective nanny state, which effectively depowers them. So... which is it? It can’t be both. I like the scene where Panda reads the law about how the use of firearms can only be permitted in extreme circumstances, and everyone just angrily shouts him down because it tells us how the police feel about this new system. The fact that they’ve made one cop the sole arbiter of these new restrictions and forced him to dress like some ridiculous furry demonstrates the sheer amount of disdain they have towards this policy. But having said that, with the masks on, they have the power and freedom to break into people’s caravans and basically kidnap and assault them without consequence anyway. So what the fuck are they complaining about? It just doesn’t gel together. Either have it that the rules and regulations of the police are the same as our world except that cops can wear masks now, which has led to an increasing problem of police brutality and corruption, or have it that the police are being too heavily restricted and so a few have chosen to turn toward more ‘unorthodox’ methods of crime fighting out of frustration. Pick one and go with it.

Then there’s the Seventh Kavalry. Again, not a bad idea. In fact I love it. A white supremacist cult that’s taken Rorschach’s journal as gospel and have banded together out of a fear of being sidelined in a more liberal world. Very relevant and very interesting. Except... well... there’s not an awful lot to it, is there? In the original graphic novel, there was no clear bad guy. Ozymandias believed he was doing the ultimate good by killing millions of people to save the world, and everyone reluctantly went along with it. It was morally complicated. This, not so much. They’re unambiguously evil. The end. So what? What is there to discuss? It just feels lacking compared to the graphic novel and it runs the risk of creating a conflict that’s too clear cut. Obviously we’re going to end up siding with the cops, regardless of what they do, because the alternative is objectively bad. Hopefully Lindelof is going somewhere with this, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t say I was slightly concerned.

So on the whole, would I say I enjoyed this first episode? Well... I’d say I did, but with reservations. There’s some good characters and ideas that could be interesting to explore and develop, but its execution feels a little shaky in places. Hopefully the episodes to come will offer further clarity.

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (11.20-11.26.19):

NEW MUSIC:

·     Blink-182 drummer, Travis Barker, revealed in a new interview that the band have recorded a new Christmas song. Last year, he posted a photo of his drum kit on Instagram with the caption “currently recording Christmas music,” paired with a Christmas tree emoji.

·     After teasing the “most political song Palaye Royale has released to date” early last week, the trio have dropped their new song “Massacre, the New American Dream.” Proceeds made from sales will be donated to March of Our Lives and Giffords: Courage to Fight Gun Violence.

·     Creeper launched a live premiere on YouTube for their new music video of the hot single, “Born Cold.” The band will soon be supporting BABYMETAL on the UK leg of next year’s Metal Galaxy World Tour.

·     The 1975 gave fans little waring with the music video debut of recent hit, “Frail State of Mind.” The track is set to appear on the band’s upcoming album, Notes on a Conditional Form, due out February 21, 2020.

·     A Day to Remember released their latest single, “Resentment,” just two weeks after postponing their seventh studio album, You’re Welcome. The band is currently wrapping up the Degenerates Tour with I Prevail and Beartooth before teaming up with Underoath in Florida.

·     Panic! At The Disco dropped a new music video for their rendition of “Into the Unknown,” taken from Disney‘s Frozen 2 soundtrack. The song was first released with a lyric video on November 4th.

·     A year and a half after his death, XXXtentacion‘s final album Bad Vibes Forever, which features blink-182, Lil Wayne and more, has a release date. The late rapper’s team dropped the title track from the album, along with the news it will be arriving on December 7th.

·     Twenty One Pilots’ new music video for their song “Pet Cheetah” offers fans a closer look at their tour set up with a virtual reality view from the stage. The video shows them performing live offering a really close look at the fire, smoke and lights they intricately use on set.

·     Neck Deep put two of their B-side songs from their 2017 album The Peace and the Panic on streaming services for the first time. They recently took to Instagram to announce that they will be taking the rest of 2019 off, they will be back in 2020 and will be playing at Rock for People.

·     Go Radio shared their first single since 2012 with upbeat new track, “Say It Again.” In July, the band’s fans were sent into a frenzy of hope and pure panic as they released a photo sparking rumors of their return.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:    

·     We Came as Romans revealed their plans for a 10-year anniversary tour in celebration of their album, To Plant a Seed. The band announced they’ll be hitting the road this spring in honor of the record with support from the Devil Wears Prada, Gideon and Dayseeker.

·     Post Malone revealed a second leg of his Runaway Tour, as well as that he is bringing along support from the first leg, Swae Lee and Tyla Yaweh. Posty will continue the run in support of his best-selling 2019 album Hollywood’s Bleeding.

·     The Wonder Years took to Twitter last Tuesday to announce a very special tour for the winter of 2020. The band will be performing two sets nightly, one acoustic and one electric, and will be supported by Free Throw, Spanish Love Songs and Pool Kids.

·     Coheed and Cambria are taking their progressive-rock, sci-fi hits on the high seas next fall on the S.S Neverender, and announced they are bringing Taking Back Sunday with them. The band partnered with Sixthman and Norwegian Pearl to bring fans an intimate cruise experience.

·     Post Malone and Ozzy Osbourne made their recent live debut of their newest collab “Take What You Want” on the last night of the rapper’s tour. The two also performed the Hollywood’s Bleeding track at the American Music Awards, alongside Travis Scott.

·     New Found Glory canceled the last two dates of their From the Screen to Your Stereo to Your Town Tour with Hawthorne Heights. The band tweeted that the cancellation was due to guitarist Chad Gilbert dealing with a “family emergency.”

·     Green Day celebrated 25 years of Dookie by performing “Basket Case” during the 2019 American Music Awards. “Growing up, there was no band more important to me or my brother,” Billie Eilish said while introducing the band.

·     Shania Twain gave a subtle shout out to Post Malone, Twenty One Pilots and more during her 2019 American Music Awards performance. The iconic country artist did a rendition of “Stressed Out,” “Rockstar” and more during her set.

OTHER NEWS:  

·     Bring Me the Horizon have released a behind-the-scenes look at the making of their latest track, “Ludens.” For the majority of the video, we see Oli Sykes and keyboardist Jordan Fish in a hotel room in Ukraine, while the former states how limited of a time they had to submit the song.

·     The nominees for the 2020 Grammy Awards arrived, with Billie Eilish up for Album of the Year and the 1975 up for Best Rock Song. Bring Me the Horizon are further in the running for Best Rock Album against I Prevail, who are also up for Best Metal Performance for “Bow Down.”

·     Oh, Weatherly vocalist Blake Roses took to the band’s social media accounts to announce their breakup. The band account shared the statement with the caption, “Love you all. Thank you for this journey.”

·     In the wake of the 15-year anniversary of her debut solo album, Love. Angel. Music. Baby., Gwen Stefani addressed accusations of cultural appropriation as it relates to single “Harajuku Girls” and more. Stefani recently sat down with Billboard to address the topic.

·     A new event on Facebook called “Storm My Chemical Romance Reunion, They Can’t Stop All of Us” was created last Thursday, and the event already shows 567 going and 1.2k interested. The page information isn’t joking around, but it also slips in some great MCR puns.

·     Vans added to their Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas inspired shoe line, with a pair appropriately named “Christmas Town.” For its design, they took imagery from the scene where Jack Skellington comes across the Holiday Doors while singing “What’s This?”

·     Kevin Jonas poked fun at his own band, the Jonas Brothers, when he joined in on a trend that’s making its way through Twitter with his own blink-182-inspired meme. The punk band responded to the pop singer with the iconic lyrics from their song “What’s My Age Again?”

·     Paramore opened up about a track off their most recent album, After Laughter, with Billboard. Frontwoman Hayley Williams recently sat down with for the outlet’s essays on “100 Songs That Define the Decade,” this time discussing their hit “Hard Times.”

·     Alternative Press put Panic! at the Disco on the cover of their Poster Issue, the publication’s seasonal 68-page collection. In addition, this year’s Poster Issue sums up the last decade of AP as they ready themselves for their 35th anniversary.

·     On a new episode of Bloody Disgusting‘s “The Boo Crew” podcast, Poppy revealed she is working on an original horror movie with frequent collaborator Titanic Sinclair. The artist also discussed everything from Texas Chainsaw Massacre being her first horror movie experience.

·     While The Umbrella Academy is preparing for its upcoming second season, the cast took a moment to appreciate their smaller toy counterparts. The cast shared a photo of them holding their Funko Pops all together, as well as a video showing their reactions to receiving the toys.

·     At this year’s American Music Awards, Billie Eilish won for the Favorite Artist in the Alternative Rock category and Halsey won for Best Pop/Rock Song for her track “Without Me”. Eilish also performed “All the Good Girls Go to Hell” and Halsey with “Graveyard.”

·     Twenty One Pilots updated their Trench logo on two social media accounts, causing fans to speculate new content and the possible end of an era. The logo has gone through several makeovers since the band’s inception.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[shreddedgalaxy]

just finished watching well-intended love on Netflix and I have so many mixed opinions...

non-spoiler version? the first half is perfect, the second half is.... problematic to say the least.

spoiler version?

the first half was amazing. seriously, I could not stop watching it. I spent seven and a half hours just sitting there and hanging on to each and every word. the chemistry between the two leads is undeniable, the supporting characters actually have plots of their own and are interesting and well-developed, and I’m a sucker for the marriage of convenience trope.... and then the second half happened.

now, immediately upon watching the episode that reveals that Ling Yizhou faked Xia Lin’s medical records, I was confused and concerned to say the least. I couldn’t figure out what they were doing with this plot for the life of me. and then she tells him she needs space, and he... does exactly the opposite??! it was creepy, possessive, manipulative, and problematic as fuck. but it was also 3am, I had spent all day watching this cdrama, and I needed to know how the fuck the writers thought they could fix this (because it’s a cdrama and it’s not gonna end without the leads getting together).

before delving more into the main relationship in the second half, a few things to mention before I forget- because this show has a lot of other aspects and facets besides the two leads. first, Chu Yan’s “death” made me lose my shit, because he’s an EXCELLENT character and I love him. thank god he came back so quickly, he brought so much to the show and i think without him I might’ve given up on this drama sooner. Jia Fei and Wen Li were incredibly cute together, and their relationship had the build up and tension that oftentimes are overlooked when creating a romance for the side characters. Nan Jin Tian was a decently intricate villain, although I’m not 100% sure if I ever fully understood his motive. Ling Yizhou’s mother was an incredibly complex character though, and I appreciated all the twists and turns she put the characters through, and how in the end, her actions are more morally grey than pure evil.

back into the main relationship- Ling Yizhou handles Xia Lin’s anger in an objectively horrible way. bodyguards to prevent her from leaving? that’s some fucked up shit. honestly, during that episode, I was about 0.5 seconds away from exiting out, leaving a bad rating, and going back to watching random YouTube videos in order to forget the whole ordeal. seriously, I felt duped by the whole show- the premise didn’t even hint at the idea of this happening. and then Yizhou gets the call about Chu Yan’s death.

the “death” of Chu Yan hit both leads very hard due to the friendship he had cultivated with both of them, and the leads ended up seeking comfort in each other, Xia Lin reluctantly so. now, this is still problematic as shit, BUT I think it was one of the more realistic aspects of this show. for any musical theater fans out there, it reminded me of Eliza and Alexander seeking comfort in each other after Philip’s death. however, that alone didn’t make the show much better, until we begin to see the change in Ling Yizhou.

his past is uncovered even more, and his family history brings to light an explanation for his possessive, wild behavior. it DOES NOT justify it in any sense, but it does provide some context. furthermore, the change seen in Ling Yizhou seen throughout the rest of the show is very good- he understands what he did wrong, he realizes the pain and suffering he has caused her, and he tries to do right by her in whatever way he can. he does not force her into reconciling with him, which is probably the most important development of his- before, when she was upset, he would do whatever it took to get Xia Lin to forgive him and forget his mistakes. at this point, he understands he has no right to forgiveness, and she doesn’t have to take him back or even speak to him again. he does take steps to make amends and fix the pain he caused, but for the sole reason of righting his wrongs, not trying to force her into forgiving him.

the most important aspect to the relationship between Xia Lin and Ling Yizhou in the second half of the show is Xia Lin’s actions and attitudes. I felt that she forgave but did not forget Ling Yizhou’s wrongdoings, which is incredibly important. she didn’t just forgive him and move on- she called him out on his bullshit, stepped away from the situation to come to her own conclusions about what to do next, and didn’t just let his amends influence her decision. in the end, she went back to him because she loved him, she needed comfort, and with the knowledge that if he ever tried any of that shit again, the relationship would be terminated for good and she wouldn’t look back. she gave him a second chance because she wanted to, not because he did, and she made sure to set up boundaries and make him understand that his bullshit would not be tolerated any longer. it is key to mention though- if she had not gone back to him, she would’ve been completely justified in doing so- his apologies and redeeming actions and characteristics do not at all negate the fact that he was incredibly toxic and even downright abusive towards her up until this point in their relationship, and she had every right to leave him and never look back.

throughout the rest of the show, Ling Yizhou is respectful towards her boundaries, is honest with her about everything he does and his intentions, and works to make her as happy, safe, and loved as she should be. he no longer takes their relationship for granted, and though he occasionally makes small mistakes (he is still human, and a total adjustment to his character would be unrealistic without a show of progress), he takes full responsibility for his actions and takes steps to ensure he doesn’t wrong her again. i think Xia Lin’s character also took a turn for the better, because she is more strong-willed in her beliefs, takes much less shit from not only him but everyone else, and is much wiser due to the whole ordeal. there were a few minor details that didn’t get touched on the way I thought they should (like how Wen Li probably knew everything that was happening the entire time Ling Yizhou was fucking up but faced virtually no consequences or reprimand for his actions) and there were a few other small choices the writers made throughout that I didn’t agree with, but overall, the story ended decently well.

i think the title of the drama itself, well intended love, speaks volumes to the core ideas of the show. Ling Yizhou’s love for Xia Lin, while “well intended”, was possessive, manipulative, and toxic in so many ways for a good portion of the show. no matter how well intended his love was, he still hurt her in unimaginable ways, and hurt the life of the woman he wanted to cherish and love. i feel the theme of the show overall, that good intentions don’t always justify the actions, was shown after having seen all twenty episodes. i feel for a lot of people who saw it and quit after the first half, this looks like a show justifying abuse, and i can completely understand why it looks that way. looking at the entirety of the show though, i believe the writers did not justify the abuse, but rather showed a combination of how the way Ling Yizhou was raised contributed to his character, the undeniable truth that love without respect and honesty is gross and harmful, and that a person’s character can change with proper consequences to their actions to help them understand the immorality of what they have done, regardless of whether it was done with good intentions.

was the show problematic? yes. do i think the writers could’ve shown their overall message in a much better way, preferably with less shock value and gross misrepresentation of what the plot of the show is? definitely. do I think this show glorifies abusive relationships? honestly, i would say no, but i of course am always open to reconsidering my points. but overall, i feel the show overall brought an important message to light about the justifiability of our actions, has well-developed characters, and the relationship between the two leads was much better developed by the end of the show than I anticipated. will i be watching season two, if/when it comes out? most likely, if only to see how the writers could continue the story.

i also think it’s important to acknowledge cultural differences- i am american, and might have missed some points through my ignorance and lack of understanding of chinese culture and the differences in social norms and customs. for all those who have been thoroughly hating on the show without watching it all the way through, that is your prerogative and i 100% respect that, especially with some of the jarring and upsetting behaviors shown throughout the revelation of Ling Yizhou’s actions. but i also do hope you acknowledge that you haven’t seen the show in its entirety, and don’t necessarily have the whole story of how the writers handled Ling Yizhou’s character and his relationship to Xia Lin.

i could’ve written a lot more on the topic, but i think i’ll end it here. if you’ve seen the show, feel free to drop into my messages and chat about it, whether you agree with my interpretation or not!

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider Zero-One Episode 17

The level of coolness has raised 1000%!

New year, new arc, new Rider! After that mess that was the final stretch of the last arc, Zero-One came this week in a fresher and somehow more low-key tone for the beginning of this new phase, which I appreciate.

We start with the introduction of one very interesting gadget that if it was real I'd probably buy me one, that is the ZAIA Specs. We didn't see a whole lot of it yet, but I'm really curious to see what bigger role this will have in the story - I doubt the only use will be to serve just as a product to compete with the Humagears.

Speaking of competition, this was the focus of the episode and will probably be the theme that will carry this arc. The idea of having small competitions between humans and Humagears seems a lot of fun and seeing that we'll continue the Ikebana plot next week I have hopes that each one of the 5 rounds will receive its mini-arc. I know it seems like something that would just drag the plot but if done right it's a good way for them to not lose themselves in the arc. Besides, judging from the way this episode ended, the plot WILL be moving forward even though the competition is going on so the problem of "dragging" this element of the story isn't a concern of mine.

What concerns me is the new antagonist force revealed at the end of this episode. As y'all know I have a problem with changing the villain mid-way, and I also think this series already has a lot of different factions acting as antagonists so for a new one to come around makes me a little scared. Now, of course, this may just be the final general of metsuboujinrai or another person being controlled by Gai so the hope is still there albeit holding hands with the fear of the unknown. One thing that got me really intrigued is that whoever this new interloper is they stole a Zetsumeraiser, that is used to transform Magias, and a Progrise Key, that so far has only been used by Riders, so I'm curious to see what will come out of this combination.

Speaking of villains, Horobi is fully awakened now and Fuwa was there interrogating him. The scene didn't have a lot going on for it but it was interesting seeing Horobi saying that it was because of Humanity's foolishness and malice that metsuboujinrai rebelled on Daybreak day. His line was pretty strong and being completely honest he wasn't all that wrong there, the Human Race is quite destructive when you think about it, I'd love if this debate was brought into the series as one of the core messages, but seeing that this is a discourse coming from a villain they'll probably just disregard this topic, which is sad because I think there are some pretty cool stuff you can do with it.

In any case, the main event of the night, Kamen Rider Thouser's introduction. It was cool as hell, I feel like the moment wasn't as big as it could've been, but it was still very nice I got really invested in it for some reason. I think Thouser is just cool as heck, first, he's gold, silver, and black, a great color scheme; second, he has those horns that simulate a crown; third, his design is very clean but also intricate, is definitely my favorite so far; and fourth, the guy just has some pretty damn cool powers.

I'm kinda thorn on his drive, but I think it's dope that he needs both a Zetsumerise and a Progrise key to transform, I also love his ability to steal data with his saber/spear thing, but above all else, the thing I like the most is the fact that in everything he does there's always a sound or a copyright mark stating that the Thouser is a product of ZAIA and that to me is just amazing. It also helps that the new Rider isn't someone who just appeared out of nowhere so I have my two thumbs up for Thouser.

If I have something to complain about is that the fight was very short? I know that it was this way to showcase how powerful he is, but again the moment of his entrance was so dim, I wish they had a bigger and flashier fight to showcase him more. Regardless, I liked what we got and I'm excited to see more of it, and more of Gai's past with Aruto's grandpa and how that led him to where he is now today.

And I think that's pretty much it for today. Before I sign off I wanna ask since official merch from the movie came out and in there they have Izu's name romanized as "Is" is it okay if I start calling her like that too or will it create too much confusion with the word "is"? I'm confused. XD Please let me know your thoughts on this episode AND the Izu/Is issue too. I'll talk to you all the next time, see ya~

[missgalaxtea]

WHO IS THIS MAN?!?!?!

So, as some of you may know, Damien is my favorite Seduce Me character. However, after doing a deep dive into some of the game-related questions Michaela Laws has answered on her Tumblr page, my interest in James was piqued. While all of the incubi have a brute demon father, their mothers are all different. According to her, the brothers’ genealogy was explained as such:

Sam: 50% brute demon, 25% incubus, 25% dragon Damien: 50% brute demon, 25% incubus, 25% shadow demon Matthew: 50% brute demon, 50% incubus Erik: 50% brute demon, 40% incubus, 10% dreamstalker demon James: 50% brute demon, 30% incubus, 20% unknown

I don’t like unknowns. Unknowns make me curious. So here we are.

I’ve done some digging. As the percentages show, James’ heritage stems farther down the maternal line, likely from his grandparents or great-grandparents. Based on the information in the games and the answers found on Michaela Laws’ page, I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities. One of these hypotheses has more evidence than the other, but at the end of the day it’s all speculative. Let’s jump right in!

James is 20% fae demon.

There is very little information about fae demons available, but there are some pieces of evidence that could lead us to believe that James is part fae demon. The most obvious trait to point out is James’ green thumb. He is good with gardening and has an affinity for flowers. According to the Otome CD, James says, “The first thing I did was go to a library and read all I could about history, culture, law, and other topics I believed were necessary to survive. A gardening book somehow got mixed in with the books I was reading, but I couldn’t bring myself to ignore it. I read through every page and found myself fascinated with it. Everything was so intricate and detailed. I couldn’t help but read a couple more books on the topic afterwards.” After being forced to learn all there is to know about ruling a kingdom, it’s no wonder finding his way back to nature would grab James’ interest. If I remember correctly, it was Matthew who sounded surprised by James’ ability to alter the wedding guests’ memories. This ability is one that fae demons have been known to dabble in. It is Fae who alters the protagonist’s mind after walking in on the secret meeting. And I know Michaela Laws has nothing to do with this, but when searching “fae seduce me” through Google, a minecraft skin and a sketch of James appears within six or seven lines. I thought that was interesting.

All of these points are all well and good, but there are some counterpoints to this hypothesis. James exhibits no form of specialized elemental magic. Of all the incubi, Erik was the one to combine flowers and magic in the first game. While incubi and succubi genes are dominant, all of the brothers can tap into their other demon powers, regardless of how connected they are to that part of their heritage. Damien, who is 25% shadow demon, can use doppelgangers and manipulate the darkness. Erik is only 10% dreamstalker demon, and can use his power with ease. The two other known fae demons, Twila and Fae, have elemental abilities. Fae can control plants and Twila has wind powers, much of which exhibit themselves when she has a magic flare. Both Fae and Twila have abilities that have to do with the air. They can fly and control wind. James levitates during his final fight with the angel, but apparently all of the brothers can do that. James’ main ability is his quick-learning. While fire and lightning are elemental, this secondary form of magic seems to be common among demons, as shown by both James and Diana during the final battle. This leads me to believe my second hypothesis over the first.

James is 20% angel.

I think this is more likely specifically because Michaela Laws was hesitant to reveal this information once she put it out there. If James were just part fae demon or some other sort of demon that hasn’t been mentioned, it might be a bit more obvious; perhaps even anticlimactic. Michaela Laws is always making connections to angels via James. His route is the only one in Demon Wars to include angels. In the final battle with the angel, James’ sword gleams with “an almost ethereal and god-like glow.” As she discusses why angels are antagonists in the second game, Michaela Laws uses James as the example. None of the other brothers are discussed in that post. Just like Saero, he has “supernatural golden eyes.”  Fae demons are more free spirited while angels are stoic and serious. This fits James’ character more. 

There are times where demons and angels are shocked by his abilities. Again, Matthew sounds surprised at James’ use of mind-altering powers at the wedding ceremony. During the final battle with the fate-keeper angel, James “formed a large wall between himself and the angel, pushing him back. The angel, unimpressed, tapped the wall over and over in attempts to dispel it, but found it to be impenetrable.” The fate-keeper angel is confused and infuriated by this turn of events. Angels are known for their ability to wipe memories, and holy magic is meant to defend and repel. It might be out of the norm for demons to be apt in these abilities. James is more powerful than his brothers because, whether he knows it or not, he can perform holy magic.

The red and blue indicators for pursuing Suzu and Naoimi in the first game represent chaotic and lawful choices. When comparing each path, we find parallels that lead to comparisons between two brothers: James and Sam. While Sam is hot-tempered, James contrasts his demeanor with a cooler personality. There is even a whole episode dedicated to the two fighting among themselves for the main character’s affections. This shows a clear match between a dragon and an angel. Much like Naomi and Suzu, they are two sides of the same coin.

Naomi & Suzu are the two friends whose personalities clash. Law & Chaos are two competing forces in the universe. Trinity & Dragons are company name suggestions, holy vs heathen. Angels & Demons are two opposing entities.  James & Sam are the two brothers whose personalities clash.

James has this inner conflict where his conscience fights between law and chaos. This manifests itself in James’ desire to be a gentleman. In the Otome CD, he says, “Miss, you are aware that I am a demon, correct? On top of that I am an incubus, a creature who lives and feeds on sexual energy from any creature it can lay its hands on. Despite this I maintain control of myself because I don’t wish to make you a meal to consume. I’ve devoted myself to being the perfect gentleman. Yet, I find my urges harder to control with each day that passes by while I live here.” James constantly has to reign himself in and fight against his demon urges. His chaotic desires offset his lawful tendencies. He has said many times that he wishes to be the perfect gentleman, but never goes into where that notion stems from. Perhaps James is unaware of it himself. Regardless, the inner struggle of demon and angel blood may be a catalyst to this behavior.

If that isn’t enough evidence, look to Queen Istorae, who in this instance would have more angel blood than her son. She is always described as cold and militaristic. Angels in this universe are merely agents of heaven, whose soul purpose is to protect and serve. The wise queen was described as an anarchist among demons. Rather than becoming a matriarchal ruler, she handed the reins over to the Demon Lord. If Christian mythology is at work here, then the angels are more inclined to follow a patriarchal system. Finally, a lingering question I had after playing James’ route in Demon War was why he was locked in a stone destiny to begin with. Why would his mother give up her life force in order to create it? He was already meant to rule, and most of his brothers were content to keep it that way. One of the reasons could be that James had nephilim blood, and would therefore be in constant danger. Locking him into a stone destiny would protect him from angels indefinitely, as only the barer of the destiny can break it.

I see you, James. I’ve got my eyes on you.

Shout-out to @sm-asks for archiving and tagging all of the Seduce Me answers from @thebunnyofevil. You are the biggest star! Also, I’d like to reiterate that these are all hypotheses. I adore the idea that James could be a niphilim, as that adds another layer to his character, but that doesn’t mean it’s positively canon. If there is something I missed, or you want to add to this in some way, I’d love to hear from you!

[yesvac]

Podcasting Dungeons & Dragons: How “The Adventure Zone” is Reviving Oral Storytelling

Topic: Podcasts, oral storytelling, “The Adventure Zone”

Date: 14 October 2019

Read time: 10 minutes

When I was young and visited my grandma’s house, I always asked her to read me Go, Dog. Go! by Dr. Seuss before I went to sleep. This was a reasonable request when I was little, but when I began to grow older, regularly reading chapter books on my own, I would still ask my grandma to read me Go Dog. Go! at the end of the night. It was something about how she sat at the side of my bed, squishing me up against the wall, and said those words that had been repeated many times before. And I am not alone in my fond memories of repeated oral story. People love repeated stories, ones told over and over: myths, narratives, family tales. We love these stories not only for their themes and the multitudes of love they contain, but because oral storytelling is a deeply human instinct: in 1998, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin described that “oral tradition… becomes story as it is retold, resung.” So where do podcasts of the modern age factor in? Podcasts are a medium of oral storytelling, and I plan to explore that idea through exploring the podcast “The Adventure Zone.” “The Adventure Zone’s” specific medium of storytelling and its enjoyed popularity teaches lessons about methods and mediums of story, and how they impact storytelling.

To understand how a podcast can do that, it’s important to know what “The Adventure Zone” is. “The Adventure Zone” is a series of publicized recordings (or, a podcast) created and recorded by the McElroy brothers (Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy), podcast-artists and comedians, with their dad. In it, they participate in and play a Dungeons & Dragons campaign they call “Balance.” “The Adventure Zone: Balance” has 69 episodes, and seven story arcs, amounting to over 75 hours. During the podcasts, the players not only play Dungeons & Dragons and fight monsters, but also develop each of their characters, and Griffin, the Dungeon Master of the game (for those who aren’t intimately familiar with D&D: he crafts the story and moderates the game), creates a web of story and plot throughout the 75-hour runtime of the campaign. There’s no way to tell how many people listen to “The Adventure Zone Podcast,” because there are dozens of podcast-streaming websites and no publicly posted number of listeners or listens; however, in the past few years, the show has enjoyed a boost of popularity and a geniune “following” of listeners. But why? What compels people spend dozens of hours listening to four men play Dungeons & Dragons? 

As I mentioned previously, podcasts are one of the newest and most explosive forms of oral storytelling. While not many of the younger generation watch news on the television (or watch television at all), almost all of them listen to public radio or podcasts through an app. As Nicholas Mirzoeff discusses in his piece “How to See the World,” the newly created “global network” has allowed us to “create, send and view images of all kinds, from photographs to video, comics, art, and animation.” Podcasting is an aspect of this new global network and may be counted as an image shared through it. Most people own technology that gives them access to podcasts through the internet, and consuming their shared images is easier now than ever. 

Through the medium of podcast, there is a certain shared experience akin to the shared experience of intimate oral storytelling. It harkens back to the days of shared story through oral connections, over a fire with friends or a family story not recorded in a written format but passed along through generations. As Juliette de Maeyer recognizes in her article “Podcasting Is the New Talk-Radio,” podcasts “bring you to places you’ve never been… give you the impression of sharing an animated kitchen-table banter... with a couple of friends. In that regard, podcasts are a “sensational” medium.” In “The Adventure Zone,” during long monologues by Griffin, the Dungeon Master, there’s often background music that recalls the musical theme used before in the campaign or arc, while Griffin narrates a story with meaningful themes of death, family, love, loss and loneliness. Certainly, “The Adventure Zone” is a sensational medium when it uses repeated music to elicit an emotional response. Additionally, this concept relates to Thomas Turino’s idea of artistic connections in his piece “Why Art Matters,” when he claimed that “the connections expressed through art flow from and create a deeper sense and a different type of understanding.” By using the repeated artistic expression of music in the podcast, the creators tap into a deeper level of understanding of the listeners. Many podcast creators do. 

What comes from this emotional response and formed connection is an imagined community by the podcast-listeners. In “How to See the World,” Mirzoeff discusses Benedict Anderson’s theory of imagined communities: that all communities are imagined, because people in it have not truly formed a connection with all of the other members. Anderson describes imagined communities of nations, which often result in patriotism, or imagined communities of readers of newspapers, who feel connections with the readers of the same newspaper. In that case, listeners to podcasts are certainly members of an imagined community, both with the podcast artists (those who record podcasts), in the case that they feel an intimate connection through the oral tradition of storytelling, and with the other fans, in “fandom.” Two fans of the same podcast who have never met can form bonds across boundaries of nation and language because they have an imagined community of being two people who both really, really like this podcast.

But let us rewind a bit, and understand more about the oral medium of storytelling. I want to talk about the oral medium in general and why it’s so persuasive now in 2019. It’s clear that the younger generation of people are less interested in big media the way previous generations have been -- big media meaning CNN, ABC, Fox News and CBS. Even big news outlets like The Atlantic and Washington Post and The NY Times enjoy less recognition and popularity from Millenials and Gen-Z readers. Most people in this age group do not watch the news but instead listen to NPR on their favorite podcasting platform, or any other podcast and talk-radio medium recordings. There is good reason for this. As a Maeyer describes “big news” in 2019, it’s often clouded with “hateful trolls, hysterical fake news outlets, a news agenda led by Russian hackers, and a never-ending spiral of conspiracy theories.” The oft-repeated mantra of “fake news” has led to the younger generation’s rejection of big news outlets with a lack of trust, and it could also explain the younger generation’s attraction to podcasting and oral storytelling as a way to strip the spread of information down to individual voices and intimately shared connections. 

If I allowed myself a paragraph to nerd out about “The Adventure Zone” in my article about “The Adventure Zone,” it’d go a bit like this: That’s not to discredit the importance of the creativity and outstanding qualities of “The Adventure Zone.” For my argument, it’s just one example of a podcast, when there are thousands of podcasts in the world, that connects to its listeners through the format of oral storytelling. But this podcast is the real deal for an example of how revolutionary podcasting can be as a contributer to storytelling. What other form of storytelling requires its consumers to listen and pay attention for almost 100 hours -- and they do it, quite willingly? And it’s not a bore -- “The Adventure Zone” podcast is carefully organized into seven different arcs, all with unique characters, different settings, connected through a complicated non-chronological plot. It’s an intricately woven story with fully developed and realized characters and relationships between them: romantic relationships, friendships, fully-developed and realistic portrayals of family. And one of the reasons why I think its portrayal of these relationships is so popular is because it is created by a family. This podcast is created by three brothers and a dad.  They know what sibling relationships look like. They know what familial loss looks like. And the result of it is something that is so rarely created: a collaboration between a family. And, when it comes down to it, it’s also just a really funny podcast. 

Justin: Uh, I’m, I’m playing, uh, a wizard.

Griffin: ‘Kay.

Justin: His name is spelled “T-A-A-K-O”.

Travis: So like “tay… tay-ko?”

Griffin: So like “tayko…”

Justin: “Tahk”… Well, I mean, the… It’s two “a”s so…

Griffin: Is your wizard named… Are you naming your goddamn wizard “Taco”?

Methods of communication and mediums of storytelling (or, more simply, the ways to tell a story) develop along with the rapidly changing world around us. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Podcasts are widely available to any person with an internet connection and a device to listen on. Creating friends and sharing connections with people who also love the same media is a beautiful thing, regardless of how empty the promise of an imagined community is. Also, one of the reasons I study humanities is because of its focus on humans and their stories. And from what I’ve seen, the shift from bigger, more corrupt and corporate-influenced outlets and big news to individual voices has simply resulted in more intimate storytelling, and a focus on stories from people.