#and i KNOW! i know okay that it was crystal’s choice to leave!!! and yes i loved kira!!! but!!!!!

[ginalinettiofficial]

i am. still just so glad i got out of teen wolf when the cast started falling apart. like season three was such a shitshow from day one and made me INSANE as it was airing and i just could not continue to watch for season four after they killed off or wrote off essentially half the cast and killed all the found family potential and i will admit!!! that seeing crystal reed herself on a new teen wolf story DID tempt me!!!! i am only human!!!! i am not immune to allison argent!!!! but truly i know myself and i know that the show died a horrible death for me over the course of s3 and there’s a lot of good reasons i stopped watching it and those reasons will sustain me through my decision to not watch this new movie

all that said. @ my loyal six followers. please do not be alarmed if i end up temporarily in a teen wolf revival moment. i am not immune to allison argent and the nostalgia of it all DOES make me want to go back and reread all the old classic pack fics from before davis decided to start killing kids left and right !!! i am not immune to the powerful energy of sterek writers, nor to the call of pack-fics!!!!

[alltimefail]

Okay gang, I noticed something super intriguing in my recent weekend rewatch of Dead Boy Detectives!

In Episode 4 when the night nurse goes into Charles' mind there's a consistent detail in his memories that I haven't seen anyone point out: not all of Charles' five schoolmates throw stones at him when he's in the lake.

Two boys are positioned slightly off to the left side of the screen, watching and making no move to stop the others, but they do not directly harm Charles at any point.

I know this doesn't seem particularly interesting in and of itself, but it quickly becomes more interesting when the Night Nurse asks Charles "What could possibly have made [his] friends turn on [him] like this," and we flash forward to the next memory, a visual response to her question. In this memory, we see Charles standing up to all of his so-called "friends" who are senselessly beating up on a boy from Pakistan and...

Wait - actually, no - not all of his friends...

Yet again, two boys have been intentionally set apart from the group and yes, it is the same two boys who stood off to the side and watched Charles be harmed (ultimately killed) in the previous scene. The juxtaposition of these scenes begins to feel even more intentional when the perspective flips and we see the scene how Charles was seeing it, with the passive boys on the left and the boys engaging in violence on the right.

This scene is much brighter so we get a really good look at their faces here, but both of them go through a myriad of facial expressions/reactions in quick succession that are challenging to discern with 100% certainty. But with the blocking for the group being the same in both shots and the roles the boys play being the same in both shots, I feel like this had to be an intentional choice made to convey something implicitly to the audience.

That leaves me to wonder - did these boys know, deep down, that what was happening was wrong? Did they want to resist, walk away, or try to stop the violence like Charles did earlier but felt powerless to do so? It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge how one of the two "passive" boys was black: did that otherness, the same otherness that Charles felt and that boy from Pakistan surely felt, keep him from speaking up out of fear for his own safety (a valid fear, considering what we know).

Whatever the purpose, it's a really sad detail to me. Heartbreaking, actually. Edwin is 100% right when he says that the living are messy, and Crystal is right when she says that she and the boys lost their lives to boys who went too far (hers temporarily in the form of her memories, the boys completely in the form of their literal lives) because that's just it, isn't it? This show is full of moral and ethical conversations surrounding the limitations of labels like "good" and "bad" people; about capability and willingness to change; and about how our actions, whether rooted in good or bad intentions, can lead to unintended or undesired outcomes. Perhaps none of Charles' "friends" believed they would kill Charles that night; perhaps they just wanted to "rough him up" or "teach him a lesson." Perhaps none of Edwin's bullies could have anticipated that the ritual sacrifice "prank" would do anything more than scare a boy they perceived as different, effeminate ("Mary Ann"), and they certainly couldn't have known it would lead to years of torture and suffering in hell for not just Edwin, but for themselves as well. But it doesn't matter, and it doesn't excuse what they did. The boys who stood to the side and watched Charles die, and who watched their fellow "mates" beat on another boy prior to that, may not have thrown a single punch, but it didn't matter - the damage was done. They still were complicit in that violence, and therefore played just as much a role in Charles' death as the boys who were throwing stones and punches. To be alive is to deal with mess, complications, baggage...to insinuate otherwise is to diminish the nuance and intention put into every choice not only in this show, but in some ways, the world at large as well. It may be a small moment, but it struck me as something that said so much without having to explicitly say anything at all. Art is a good mirror on society in this way; it makes us face the reflections of messy, complex characters and situations that we could just as likely find ourselves a part of (maybe as the "good" guy, the vicim; maybe as the "bad" guy, the bully; or maybe as the guys who just... did nothing at all. The ones who watched, who were complicit in the suffering of others for what could be a multitude of selfish or self-preserving reasons).

All that being said, the TLDR here is: considering it's the same two boys who behave the same way in both instances it feels like an intentional detail. I wonder if there's potential for one (or both) of these boys to reappear in Charles' (after)life in the future? They are likely both still alive today, in their 50s, just as Charles would be had he not been murdered. Perhaps one of these boys could die and come to the agency with regrets or unfinished business (directly involving Charles or regarding something unrelated). Maybe Charles will run into them, alive, through a different case or just on the streets of London and be overwhelmed with a sense of "That should be me, too. I should have gotten to live." I imagine he would recognize them, even in older bodies, and it would understandably affect him to have to face anyone who played a role in his death, whether they threw stones or just watched.

Orrrrrrer it could be a totally pointless detail! 😂 I'm always open-minded to the fact that after 30+ rewatches I could be overanalyzing at this point. Either way, it confounds me nonetheless and I so desperately hope we will get to explore Charles' trauma more in season 2 (🤞)... so I thought I would share my thoughts! 🖤

(Last note: please excuse the bad photo quality!! I searched meticulously for the exact screencaps I needed but couldn't find anything, so I just took pictures of my tv screen with my phone lol.)

[kaely1916]

NEVER AGAIN 🫂

Context: Edwin had to spend a few days with the night nurse to handle some paperwork needed to get his permit to officially work in the lost and found department. Charles was far from happy about it.

"So, let me get this straight. You're going with the night nurse to do some paperwork?"

"That's what I told you, yes."

"And you plan to go alone?"

"I was planning on it, yes."

"Without Charles?"

"I do think I understand the meaning of the word 'alone.' Do you, Crystal?"

"Very funny, but you know what I mean. Charles will freak out if you leave him here alone."

"He'll be fine."

"He certainly won't. You weren't here when the Cat King kidnapped you for hours, remember?"

"I understand that we're quite protective of each other."

"Codependent is the word you're looking for."

"Well, in that case, this will be a good exercise, won't it?"

"If you say so. Just mark my words, Charles isn't going to be happy about you going away alone."

"Edwin is going away alone to where?!"

"Told you so!"

"I just need to take care of some documents with the night nurse in her department."

"Okay? Then I'll go with you."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. She specifically requested only me, without any distractions."

"Come on, mate. You can't just leave me here alone. For how long?"

"Umm, it's a lot of paperwork, so let's say... like three—"

"Hours?!"

"Days, Charles."

"WHAAAT?!"

"Charles, do not overreact."

"dO nOt OvErReAcT? Mate, I haven't spent a day without you in 30 years, and I'm not starting now!"

"I'm afraid we have no other choice... Besides, maybe this will do us some good."

"W-what are you..."

"Being apart will give us time to think and breathe after... everything that's happened. Something I really need. Please?"

"...O-okay... if you say so."

"Everything will be fine. You won't even notice I'm gone."

"Y-yeah, sure thing, mate..."

Day 1

Charles definitely noticed Edwin's absence. During the day, things were manageable with Crystal and Jenny keeping him company, but at night, when the girls were asleep, Charles missed his partner by his side—reading to him, talking...

Man, he really missed Edwin.

Day 2

Charles was climbing the walls. Everything felt wrong. He should be with Edwin. What if something happened to him again, like the Cat King incident again, or another witch again, or hell coming back for him again again????

*Jenny watched as Charles paced around the room like a maniac.*

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

"He has attachment issues"

"I DO NOT have attachment issues!"

"Just ignore him. The separation anxiety makes him moody."

Day 3

Just one more day, just one more day and Edwin would be back. Yesterday, Crystal had almost locked him in the office to stop him from trying to find Edwin, making him promise he'd behave. He just needed to wait a little longer, just a little longer.

Day 4

Charles was a little disappointed that Edwin wasn't back at midnight. The three days were over, right? But no, instead he had to deal with a client that morning until Crystal's voice startled him.

"Oh, he's already here. Oi, Charles, Edwin—"

But Charles wasn't there anymore. He had just passed through the floor and the next thing Crystal saw was him sprinting towards Edwin, who was calmly walking to the agency.

But then, he noticed Charles and ran to meet him halfway. They embraced tightly, gripping each other with a strength that Crystal thought might hurt if they could feel it.

"What a pair of idiots"

Meanwhile, Charles buried his face in Edwin's neck, fighting back tears, while Edwin sighed in relief.

"N-never again."

"Hmm... Never again."

[yandere-romanticaa]

I need to talk about ADA! Dazai and Beast! Dazai because Beast ruined me beyond repair.

ADA! Dazai is like a beautiful red rose which caught your eye - you wish to have it, to pluck it, but it's so easy to forget that roses have very, very sharp thorns. Dazai has many people around him but a tiny few he can confidently say he trusts.

Which is why he might just be a bit prickly at the start.

Don't get me wrong, he is still the same old Dazai you first met. Confident, flirty, intelligent, a giant tease! Life is a breeze with him, there isn't anything in the world which Dazai can't do or crack wide open. It's so easy to spill all of your deepest, darkest secrets to him, so easy to open up and become dependent on him.

But just when you think you have him figured out, you're right back to square one.

ADA! Dazai, who does not know what to do with himself or you for that matter. How fun and cute you are, your crush is so obvious. He can't help it, he just has to tease you, you always give him the best reactions. He chooses to be careful with you in the beginning, think of dipping your toes in cold water for the first time.

Time passes and Dazai opens himself up to you. You are finally allowed to caress his scarlet red petals albeit with his thorns still in the way. They prickle and hurt, they may even leave a scar or two in their way but you don't care. Loving Dazai is like a drug, once you get a taste you can never get enough. The constant need for his attention and validation is just too intoxicating and Dazai is none the wiser.

Beast! Dazai though... Where do I even start?

This man and his love, to me at least, kind of feels like the lyric "Here comes the sun, she's the brightest star of them all." from the song Sonne by Rammstein.

There is absolutely nothing this man won't do for you and I mean it.

Beast! Dazai is terrifying and he knows it. He regularly uses and manipulates his authority and throws threats around like candy, particularly if his subordinates decide to question why on Earth would he settle for someone like you. You, his sweet, precious, darling, addicting little you, the reason why his heart beats and why he decides to take a breath and live the life he wants to live... As much as he can, that is...

Beast! Dazai uses your fear as a leverage and toys with you in a similar fashion to ADA! Dazai but there is a grim feeling to it, kind of like sticky black tar, it never leaves your person. He never allows you to breathe because he simply must be with you all day, every day. The sheer intensity of his stare alone is something worthy of the history books as even some of the most seasoned and battle hardened mafiosos can't help but to be off put by their boss. Everything is crystal clear right from the get go, anyone who messes with you messes with him, the Port Mafia boss himself and they will answer for their crimes no matter how miniscule they may be.

Beast! Dazai, who is desperate for you and your love but never manages to tell you. Instead he chooses to isolate you, to make you dependent on him so that you can have no one to turn to other than him. ADA! Dazai is at least sensible enough to understand that yes, personal choice actually does matter even if he will have it play out how he wants to in the end but Beast! Dazai does not have the time for that shenaniganary! He hides his despair and need for you like a true master of all lies and trickery. He tells you he could kill you immediately, put a bullet in your head and find someone else to screw with and you believe him.

How can you not?

Never in a million years could you predict that this man was ready to destroy the world for you and create it anew, that no one else in this world, this universe could ever replace you.

You, his sun, moon, star, his heart. His everything. And you will never know. But that's okay because Dazai knows. And he will always keep you close, forever and always.

🕊️ TAGS: @yanroma, @oneoftheprettynerds, @misdollface, @sxy0ung, @rosemary108233, @itssara-chan

[qqueenofhades]

I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable answering this, but my mind is spiraling out of control and you’re the only person I know with the level of knowledge to where I can feel comfortable asking this without getting some form of “bla bla we live in a safe state don’t worry.”

I’m sincerely wondering if I need to be making plans to leave the country in the event of November bringing the most horrible of outcomes despite our best efforts (and yes I’m planning to vote blue in everything I can); as a AFAB in CA?

I know about project 2025. I’m terrified. Forgive my pop culture reference, but I feel like a version of Princess Zelda staring down a barrel of possible doom while everyone around me is like “nah that future you literally had a nightmare about where they made it illegal for a woman to have a bank account without a guy co-signing it and took the money from everyone who didn’t comply by a certain date isn’t even a possibility!”

I’m just confused about my life and am trying to take it day by day, and exercising every right while I still have it to prevent this outcome, but it feels weird making plans and retirement accounts and just general Setting Up Adult Life And Future Things™️……while wondering if I even have a future in this place at all and I’m just making it harder to escape if need be.

I’m sorry I’m rambling, and I guess I don’t know what I’m asking since no one has a crystal ball.

But I guess, it’s stuff like how much can the feds effect state’s policies? Is it possible for them to immediately block international travel for all women practically upon inauguration? How much time would I even have to gtfo if the worst begins?

Bc honestly this whole thing feels like the lead in to a very nasty chapter of a history book, and even though I have hope we’ll have another blue tsunami, it can be hard to try and figure things out when it feels like there’s barely any historical precedent for any of it.

Welp. Okay. First of all, I am giving you a comforting hug, I am walking with you to your favorite coffee shop, I am paying for your favorite beverage and also a baked goodie of your choice, and we are sitting down in a corner where we can talk honestly. So that's where I want you to imagine us having this conversation.

To start with, yes, I completely understand this feeling of utter, paralyzing doom, where I am trying to go about my daily life and make plans for my career and carry out daily tasks and Be Responsible while there's still just this total void beyond the end of the year, the utter impossibility of knowing if we will have dodged an absolutely massive bullet and finally be safe (since if Trump loses again he is 100% going to jail in the next four years) or, well. You know. That is a very hard way to live, when you're wondering if anything is going to matter and you can't see beyond that black cloud of fear on the horizon. It sucks you down and tells you that nothing is worth doing now in case it just gets so much worse. I am not going to tell you not to feel that. We all do. We are all scared. That in and of itself is a perfectly normal way to feel.

However, there are things you can do both now and if (I repeat, if) God absolutely forbid, the worst was to happen (again). First of all, we have already lived through a Trump presidency once. It was terrible and scary and awful and demoralizing as fuck, but we can do it again if we absolutely Goddamn fucking have to (once, again, God forbid). Second, you are currently about as safe as you could be in California. Newsom has proven himself to be smart, tough, able to run rings around Republicans, and unwilling to comply with their stupid performative-cruelty directives. He's not a saint or a magician, but you don't need that; you need a shrewd politician able to fight back, and he has proven himself willing and capable of doing that. So as long as he is governor, you're going to be more safe than not, and I'd also like to ask all the shrieking Online Leftists if, should the shit go down, they would rather live in a state with a Democratic governor who will fight Trump 2.0 every step of the way, or a Republican governor who will just roll over and obey. (But that would destroy their BOTH PARTIES ARE THE SAME talking point, so you know.)

Next of all, even if the Republicans are doing their best impression, America in 2024 isn't Germany in 1934. There are different tools, different ways to fight back, and different awarenesses/social media/visibility factors. I also need everyone to remember that just as Biden can't just sign an executive order and fix everything everywhere, Trump can't just sign an executive order and fuck everything everywhere, just like that with no more discussion ever. He tried that last time, it generally didn't work, and trust me, at least this time nobody is sleeping on the danger he poses. His candidacy in 2016 was dismissed as a long-shot joke that nobody took seriously until it was too late, and for better or worse, people aren't doing that this time. He will be sued instantly, incredibly, and repeatedly with everything his band of wannabe fascists try, and since we have had four years of Biden fixing the courts from where Trump trashed them, that does mean something. There is no scenario where even if he does issue some outrageous order against women, LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, etc (which to be clear, I'm sure he would try) it would just be carried out completely, immediately, and with no feasible way to stop it. Evil is evil, but it is also stupid, clueless, determined to hurt people just for the hell of it without any regard for what is possible or which will be allowed, and there's a lot more grey area in there than just "Trump says something terrible and it's instantly done, the end."

Once again, I'm not going to say that the worst-case scenario is not possible, but I don't think it's likely, and even if that does happen, there are ways for us to survive and fight back (again). Nobody wants it and it should not have to be asked of us due to the utter collapse of the social, civic, political, and intellectual fabric of this country thanks to the TrumpCult, but once again... these people are so loud and dangerous and cruel and stupid because they are in the minority. Etc. etc. polls are garbage, but we did just have an interesting piece of empirical data from the Iowa caucuses. Trump -- in one of the whitest, most rural, most conservative, most religious, most Trump-loving states in the country -- struggled to break 50%. Almost half of a rabid Republican fully-Trumpized electorate, among the diehards sufficiently motivated to get out and caucus in extreme freezing weather, voted for someone else (Haley and DeSantis took about 20% apiece). Now, no, we don't know how that will translate to the general election, and if registered Republicans will flock back to the nominee even if it's Trump, but as almost half of Haley voters said they would vote for Biden if it was a Biden-Trump matchup in the general, there is some sense that Trump is an aberration to their otherwise ironclad party loyalty. Now, Republicans are the fucking worst and nobody should be relying on them to save us; we still need to get out and vote for Democrats with all our might. But Trump is no longer barn-burningly popular even in core Trump heartland, and it'll be interesting to see how things go in future primaries.

My point is: I know the feeling that evil is awful and unstoppable and all-powerful, and will crush our lives and our futures no matter what we do to resist it. I really, really do. But Trump is a terrible candidate, he's running literally only to keep himself out of a long, long prison sentence, and if he had crushed the Iowa caucuses regardless, we might be having a different conversation. However, we need to remember that it is possible, again (God forbid) in the worst scenario, to resist, to live, and to win. Everyone who is motivated to work for a better world will still be here. Everyone who can help you and all of us will still be here. And there are more of us than there are of them. Yes, I do understand the feeling that we need to have contingency plans in place, I do absolutely know that it could get very bad, and all that (as you say, nobody has a crystal ball). But for now, I want you to take a deep breath, try to take this day by day, and remember that this is not a crushing and inevitable future that will sweep over you and destroy you without you (or any other person of good will) having a say in the matter. You still have agency, you still have the ability to protect yourself, and you still have others who will protect you in turn. You're not alone. The bad guys want you to think that, because when you're isolated and terrorized, you're easier to pick off and/or recruit into their cult. But you're not.

In conclusion: "What are we holding onto, Sam?"

[m1sa-w1sa]

What do you think about my headcannons for characters who fit this song and who would you add

https://www.tumblr.com/ninjacomix/754842802243928064/but-ill-always-be-watching-cause-im-forever?source=share

(so i havent really listened to it in a while but i feel like blade would be a good choice, and hear me out)

TW:

Yandere Themes, slight talk of gore, Lil angst, not proofread, this is pretty long, brainrot?

Yandere HC for BLADE (Sahsrau and Reincarnation/One sided love au)

REINCARNATION/ONE-SIDED LOVE AU

•Before when you and blade were together, he was, happy something that he cannot say he is now

•He told you not to go out in the blizzard, you PROMISED him that you would be okay… •Your body silhouette, slowly walking towards him, crystal tears, trembling body hurt him •Catching you in his arms wasnt enough, kissing your lips one last time, once he pulled back, your eyes were dull… •Seeing your dead cold body, in the snow, your lips parted and slightly having a blue hue to them made his heart ache •Years, Decades has pasted, his S/O dying hasnt made him the same, until he saw you.. •It was you… his perfect darling.. his pain, his internal debt, washing away once he saw you, no his DARLING •Hes not the one for small talk but ye went up to you, starting up a chat, you two clicked almost immediately! •You wondered how did he know so much? When you asked, he said he ‘ assumed ‘ because he liked the hobbies and interests that you did too •That leading you both to become friends, very good friends, he saw you like his S/O, well I mean.. you ARE his S/O right? •When he confessed, he was thinking you would say yes, just like before, but you didnt. No… no no no! This isnt supposed to happen! Your supposed to love him back! •He left without a trace, you were confused, you tried to get him back but he didnt come back.. •You always felt someone watching you, but you were right, blade kept watching you from the sidelines, haunting you like a ghost •He didnt try to talk to you again… not yet, he waited and waited so long, watching and haunting you like a ghost, like a leopard creeping up on its prey •Any types of dating you tried to have the person would never come, theres something driving them away, was it you? Maybe you shouldnt have rejected blade.. •Seeing you second guess brought a long awaited smile to his face, no a smirk as he would walk up behind you, his hand on your shoulder, The two of you knew, after this, you might not see the light of day again •Maybe you just dont remember! You just need to snap back! Dont worry sweetheart! Your boyfriend will help you! Just like always, soon he will have you in his arms again, only HE WILL

SAHSRAU

•You just started playing Hsr when blades rerun came out, you thought he was pretty! So you pulled on him with your last golden ticket! •Surprise Surprise! You got him, you were so happy, giggling and clapping, when you opened his character menu complimenting him on his looks, voice, weapon, fighting skills, not thinking he heard you… Oh how cute you were… •To say the least, he was surprised when he heard you, he rolled his eyes, he knew what THOSE people thought of him… it was disgusting to him… •But overtime, you staying up hours just to get him up to level, he slowly started to grow attached. When you least expect it he was always watching you, more than you were watching him •He asked silver wolf, half asleep to make his phone be able to chat with yours, she didnt care she just did it asking him to leave so she would sleep •Anytime you would try to pull for someone else, he would always rig it, he thought it was… interesting cute when you were said when you didnt get the 50/50, its alright! You have blade still and you still love him.. right? •When he had ahold of more of your info, selfies, files, now your number he was going internally feral but also more defensive of his phone your HIS no one else needs to know that you exist… •He knows that you still have school/work so he pretended that he was someone that you met at school/work •For some reason, the feeling he has, it makes him feel happy, warm, maybe love? When you screen comes in contact with him, his eyes slightly look to the camera smiling ever so slightly •You thinking it was a easter egg you were smiling back as you were excited as well knowing that made him love you more •IF YOU DESCENDED no one knew, you hardly had any other characters, the only people who had a suspicion was Trailblazer, Dan Heng, March 17, Himiko, Welt, Pompom, Kafka and silver wolf, other than them no one really had the idea •Knowing that just made this easier for blade, just coming up and swooping you into his arms, I mean… you can give him this just one.. right your grace?

[haphazardlyannotated]

Okay, can we talk about this for a moment?

Rose's whole quote here is:

When a Gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then… that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment; you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power, the ability to "grow up."

So Rose states here that Gems are incapable of fundamental growth and change. Which is... Kind of an insane thing to say considering the Crystal Gems.

Every day Rose comes home to an Amethyst who seems to prefer food and shape shifting over fighting, a pair of different gems who choose to live as an illegal fusion out of love, and a Pearl who is both a swords- and spearmanship master as well as a tech expert. Not to mention, she herself has not only flipped her inherent skill set in the opposite direction from destructive to healing, she has lead a literal rebellion against her purpose of colonizing planets and using them to make more gems.

So why would Rose say that?

Regarding Rose herself, the explanation is pretty easy. Not even the most fervent, uncharitable Rose Anti hates Rose as much as she hates herself. I have no trouble believing that Rose would be able to convince herself that everything she's done as Rose is a pretty facade and she is still the monster she has made Pink out to be deep down.

But what about the others?

I find it a bit hard to believe that Rose would deny that they have deviated from what Homeworld thinks they are. But then I realised: While Rose might realise that they aren't what Homeworld wants them to be, she could feasibly interpret their actions as still holding on to some basic principles Homeworld instilled in them.

Yes, Amethyst is more interested in fun and relaxation than fighting, but other Amethysts tend to like those things too. And Amethyst is still fighting, just alongside the Crystal Gems instead of as part of Homeworld's army. It wouldn't be too farfetched to assume that the basic programming is intact here.

Pearl is lightyears away from the "stand around and look nice" ideal Homeworld has for Pearls, but Rose is all too aware that Pearl is still has the single mindedly devoted to her. Sure, Pearl's fantasy about her and Rose removes the ownership relation, but, whispers Rose's self hatred at the back of her mind, would a Gem as great as Pearl really choose Rose if her choice was truly free?

Garnet might be harder to explain, but still, aren't Ruby and Sapphire always together this way, just as a Sapphire and her Ruby guard are supposed to be?

If you think about it like that, I could see how Rose might talk herself into some kind of Gem determinism and decide that the only way for herself to truly change would be to stop being both herself and a Gem and be reborn as part of a human child.

But she's wrong.

We know she's wrong because Steven Universe showed us.

Amethyst leaves combat behind as soon as it's unnecessary and becomes a teacher. Ruby and Sapphire regularly do their own thing by SUF, and Ruby proposed to Sapphire to make being Garnet their own decision. And then, of course, there's Pearl.

All of the Crystal Gems reinvented themselves in the exact way that Rose didn't believe Gems ever could.

And in doing so, they also proved that Rose was wrong to think of her own growth as a lie. She didn't become a perfect person- nobody in this show was or will ever be perfect. But she became a genuinely kind and nurturing person who was loved and admired by many for good reason.

When you think about it, the only part of Homeworld that she couldn't let go of was the image she had of herself.

[saltsicklover]

Title: Vienna ☁︎

Master List HERE

Listen to Vienna HERE

A request based off of THIS prompt

Romantic Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x AFAB Reader

Small use of "Y/N"

Word Count: 3300+

Rating: T

Warnings: Medical Inaccuracy, Medical Terminology, Hospital, Passing out, light descriptions of pain, throwing up, heavy Billy Joel references, talks of children and having kids.

If it weren't for the lack of breathe crystalizing in the air, it could have been the dead of winter in those four walls, the world around them frozen. 

"You don't get to make that choice for me," Bradley speaks firm, tone boarding on pitiless. The way he rings his hands does nothing to quell the way Red shakes. "We are a couple, we work through shit together, and now you just want to walk away without any sort of reason as to why?"

Tears swim behind Red's eyelids; her breathing slowing in an fruitless attempt to calm down. 

"You want a reason?" The heels of her hands are pushed into her eyes, Bradley's eyes locked on her chipped nail polish, nails chewed down. Something is wrong. Red always has her nails done. Always shinning with a thick coat of colored lacquer; this is wrong. There are chips in the paint, her skin bitten, torn and red. 

The twisting in Red's stomach does nothing but make her sick, as if she hadn't been nauseous to begin with. It's unclear as to if it's the pain is from the cyst on her ovary that threatens to rupture at any moment, or if the the breaking of Bradley's heart is enough to take out her whole body. A gentle hand comes up to cradle her stomach though it's tender to the touch, protruding in a way that's only comfortable in familiarity. Bradley watches her hand cradling her stomach, letting his gaze follow the line of her arm up to her shoulder. 

"Vienna," Its the only word Red can stutter out, her eyes pressed together so tight it looks painful. 

"Vienna?" Bradley questions, the answer he begged for leading him no closer to understanding why he walked into their shared apartment to find Red packing her bags. 

She would have been gone already if she hadn't spent close to an hour on the cold bathroom floor, the rug scrunched up under her knees. Emptying her stomach in that very bathroom has become too familiar, yet never easier. 

"Yes Bradley, it's because you are the one Billy Joel sings about," Red laments like it's the most obvious thing in the world and that Bradley is just missing it. 

"You have all these goals, these aspirations, these dreams and you are working so fucking hard to get to them. And God damnit Bradley, you're so ahead of yourself that you're forgetting what you need, and I just know that I'm not it, okay? You'd be a fool if you're satisfied with me," 

A few salty tears escape between Red's tightly scrunched eyes, flowing down the wrinkled skin surrounding them. Bradley is exasperated at her reply, his words stuck on his tongue as he flounders. Maybe in some other universe this analogy would make sense, maybe he would be that lost kid Billy Joel is just trying to get to take a goddamn break, but here and now it's leaving Bradley with more questions than straight answers. 

The air around them stands still, neither brave enough to take a breath let alone make the next move. They stand four feet apart, Red scooching back every time Bradley takes a step forward. She is consistently just out of reach, his fingertips just a bit too far away to brush against her burning skin. 

Bradley tries to piece together the broken girl in front of him, wracking his mind for the pieces of her that have been slowly slipping away over the last six months. Red hadn't always been this way, tattered edges and fraying composure. When the pair met, Bradley swore she could stop traffic with her smile alone, from the way her lips curled up at the corners to the bright shade of red lipstick that he quickly understood to be her signature color. 

The first time Bradley sees her, she is sat atop her classic Cadillac with the hood popped, her legs crossed at the knee as she bobs nearly her whole body along to the radio that sits next to her. Bradley pulls his Bronco off to the shoulder, kicking up dirt as he throws his own vintage vehicle into park. The Cadillac is a red beacon just guiding him in, like a lighthouse in a storm. 

"Hey there, Sailor," She flirts from over the top of her sunglasses, the frames pointing out and bedazzled, as Bradley slides out of his vehicle, "Do you save all the pretty girls?"

Then he's laughing before he's even made it all the way to her, a raspberry hue of a blush creeping up over the collar of his uniform. That's Not Her Style by Billy Joel kicks through her little radio, the connection coming in with a handful of static. 

"Aviator, actually," Bradley finally matters as he closes the rest of the space between them, allowing himself to stand right between her newly uncrossed legs. "And of course I do, I am a gentleman after all," 

The comment is half assed flirting on Bradley's part, which is new for him. With a smirk playing on her pretty red lips, she twists the nob on the radio so the music sings just a little bit louder. There's something powerful in the way she looks down at Bradley, but it's him who feels like he is ruling the world with all her attention focused squarely on him. Her eyes drift across his nametag, before making their way back up to his pretty, flushed expression. 

"Okay, Aviator Bradshaw," Bradley fights back a laugh at the name, willing her to keep talking with a nod of his head. She leans forward, just over him and smiles, "Do you think all your airplane knowledge could help me figure out what's goin' on with my Daisy here?" 

"Daisy?" He cocks an eyebrow at her, completely smiting already. Any woman who names her car in a man after his own heart! 

The mystery woman pats the top of her car with a little smile, "Yes, sir," 

That makes Bradley flush deeper, a blackberry tint. He tries not to let his mind wander too far, but in front of this woman who seems to have an affinity for the color, he doesn't mind the intense blush that's rising up under his skin. 

"This is my Daisy, a 1956 Cadillac Eldorado, she's a beauty, isn't she?" The woman looks down at her vehicle but Bradley's eyes are firmly stuck on her. 

"Yes she is," He replies, eyes tracing over the bright red lipstick she has expertly painted onto her lips. "What's your name, sugar?" 

"My name is Y/N, but my friends call me Red," 

"I can see why," Bradley sends a wink up to her, causing her to giggle. "Let me take a look, you just sit up there and keep looking pretty, alright?"

Red brings two fingers up to her forehead, flicking her wrist in a mock salute, "Yes, sir, Aviator Bradshaw," 

All Bradley can do is laugh; he knows he should correct her and tell her that it's actually Lieutenant Bradshaw, but he doesn't dare embarrass her out of fear that she might not meet his eyes again and Bradley can't have that. So, he doesn't say anything, opting to round to the front of the car. As he peers into the engine, Red resumes her cross-legged position, listening to a new song thrum through the cheap radio. 

After a few minutes of staring at nothing in particular, Bradley catches her eye as he rounds back around the vehicle, a sheepish look on his face. "Looks like you need a new valve for your carburetor, nothing I can fix for you right now," 

"Can you drive me into town?" Red asks sweetly.

"Absolutely," Bradley is almost too quick to answer. He runs his sweaty hands off on his tan trousers, leaving behind dirt and oil, his once pristine uniform slacks now unwearable. Then, he reaches up to Red, taking her carefully by the waist, lifting her off the top of the classic car. 

"Thank you, sir," Red peers up from under her lashes, letting her hands slowly slide from around Bradley's neck and down his chest before pulling her hands away all together. It takes Bradley just as long to let go, enjoying the way her body squishes under his powerful hands. 

The ride into town is short, really, but the pair sit inside the Bronco in the parking lot of the auto mechanic's. The radio is playing that damn Billy Joel song again, and Red is humming along, the sound making Bradley's heart swell. Then, Red is sliding over on the bench seat, right into Bradley's space. 

She leans in, taking his chin gently in between her thumb and fingers, before planting a kiss right to his cheekbone. "Thank you," She whispers into his ear, then she's back on her side of the cab, throwing open her door. 

"What was that for?" He asks her, a cheesy grin adorning his face. 

"Just givin' the pilot something extra for a perfect ride," She throws one last wink his way before slamming the door behind her. Bradley watches her hips sway all the way across the parking lot and doesn't take his eyes off her until she is disappearing into the mechanic shop. 

Then, as he's throwing the Bronco into reverse with a glance in the rearview mirror, he catches the kiss print she left behind. It takes him six blocks before he realizes she quoted that damn song to him. 

But now, Bradley barely recognizes the woman in front of him. There is no longer that stunning read lipstick adorning her lips, instead her face is flushed with it's own rosy hue that looks more sickly and burning than it does anything else. Red cradles her stomach, her fingertips pushing into her lower abdomen. Bradley grimaces at the way she digs into the soft flesh of her stomach. 

There's a clear look of discomfort on her features from the way her face is pinched, expression sour. Bradley wants nothing more than to fold her into his arms yet he doesn't make a move. He watches her eyes dart between himself and her suitcase, then to the pile of clothes next to the bed. Red is calculating her next move and all Bradley can do is watch her. 

"Red..." It's a start, her name trailing off his tongue in a tone he has never heard himself use. 

"It's done, Bradley," Her vision is swimming, Bradley's body going fuzzy just beyond her eyelashes. 

"Can I help you pack?" It's a shallow attempt to keep her close just a little while longer, like he's pushing his cupped hands together to the last little bits of their relationship from slipping through his fingers. 

Red can't say a word, everything stuck in her throat all jagged and laced with pain. A couple tears slip from her lash line, streaking down her face as she nods to him. And so, gently Bradley sits down on the floor and begins folding her clothes. Each article is soft against the rough, seasoned skin of his fingers. 

Carefully, Bradley pulls all of her undergarments from the pile, straightening them out and laying them flat so they can be easily packed. Each pair stained with angry looking patches from blood long washed away. Each and every pair, Bradley notices, stained to some degree. Some are worse than others, sure, but not a single pair are left unmarked. 

The sight of it make's Bradley's stomach churn. So does the way Red is kneeling just a few feet away, her head to her knees with pain written into her features. Bradley's hands slow, the tee-shirt in his hands becoming nothing more than a crumbled garment as his attention is fixed slowly on his girl. He does his best to ignore his own tears that are threatening to take over. Red whimpers like she is holding back a scream. 

"Red?" There is too much panic in Bradley's voice. Then, she is slumping forward, her body going limp. Bradley's world moves in slow motion as he watches Red pass out, his mind replaying the way the tension leaves her body just as gravity takes her. It's a good thing she was already on the floor, her head not smacking against the floor or any furniture on the way down. 

There is a sort of  humanity in the way Bradley cradles Red in his arms, bringing her head up to rest against his shoulder, her back laying against his chest. He positions her right between his legs, wrapping a strong arm around her frame. It's the way so many have cradled their loved ones before.

With a quick phone call an ambulance is headed their way. 

As the paramedics haul Red down the hallway on the stretcher, Bradley can't seem to move from his spot on the floor. Here he is surrounded by her half packed suitcase and her collection of stained underwear. He knows there is still a half full glass of water with just a squeeze too much lemon sitting on her bedside table. Red's robe still hangs on the hook in the bathroom, just waiting for her next post bath routine. 

Here is littered with her, and Bradley knows he has to fight for her harder, because Red is his endgame and Vienna is only worth it if she is by his side. 

The drive to the hospital seems like a cloudy memory to Bradley, though he is sure he ran a red light. It's hours before a nurse guides Bradley back to Red's room and all Bradley can think about is the look of sympathy on that nurses face and the way Red looks so fucking small in the hospital bed. 

The nurse disappears not a moment later, leaving Bradley to stand and stare at Red's features from across the room. Slowly, he creeps up to her bedside, taking a seat in the uncomfortable chair positioned next to her. 

Bradley takes in the slope of her nose as he pushes hair back from her forehead. He brushes his knuckles over her cheek and in that moment he realizes this is the first time he hasn't seen her in pain for months. The realization hits him square in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. He doesn't know why it took him so long to notice, why he never realized that his girl was struggling, Bradley has no idea what's wrong with her. 

He knows he shouldn't do it, but Bradley takes the chart off the end of the bed. He flips through the thick pages of the chart, scanning for anything he can make sense of. 

PROCEDURE: TOTAL HYSTERECTOMY 

CAUSE: FIBROIDS

PRIOR DIAGNOSISES: ENDOMETRIOSIS, OVARIAN CYCSTS 

They are terms Bradley doesn't recognize, yet they make his stomach churn with anxiety. He spends the night at Red's bedside, one hand laced with hers while he scrolls through the internet with the other. He bounces from medical websites to reddit forums, they Mayo Clinic to a medical textbook he found the PDF for somewhere in the recesses of the internet. 

The information he learns is vast, too much for him to digest in such little time. The sickness Bradley feels is a mix of guilt and exhaustion, the feeling that he has failed as a partner hanging over him. 

Red finally wakes the next morning, groggy and confused as a doctor and nurse stand over her, checking her progress. A nurse carefully works at changing the bandages on her abdomen, an ache panging through Red as she comes to. 

"Wha-?" She tries, but the nurse is quick to sooth her. 

"It's alright, doll, Dr. Greene and I are taking good care of you," She coos as she works, her eyes fluttering between her work and Red's face. 

"You're in the hospital," The doctor begins, his bedside manner leaves something to be desired, "You were brought in after you lost consciousness. You had an ovarian cyst burst, and we had to operate. However, when we got inside, we discovered that your endometriosis had progressed rapidly and you had large fibroids. We had to take everything, so we preformed a full hysterectomy. I'm sorry I don't have better news," 

Bradley listens to the doctor from the other side of the room, his head swimming with information. He knew this explanation was coming, but nothing could have prepared him for Red's reaction to the heartbreaking news. 

"It's alright," Red manages, "I had an appointment to for my pre-op pap, anyway," 

The nurse looks so sympathetic, almost like there are tears in her eyes but Bradley can't quite make it out. 

"So you know that you will no longer be able to carry children, nor will you be able to have a biological child," The question is met with a tired nod, sadness written deep into the lines of her face. 

In that moment it all falls into place for Bradley. 

All he has ever wanted is a family of his own, and Red knew she wouldn't be able to give that to him. She wouldn't be able to carry his child, or any child. So, she hid it, the ability to face the man she loves and absolutely break his heart's just too much. That's why she was leaving. 

Not because she didn't love him, no. 

But because she loves him enough to make sure he had every chance to live out that dream. So he could get everything he wants, even if it's not with her.

"Oh, Red," Bradley sighs, tears slipping from his eyes. The doctor and the nurse slip out the door quietly, leaving the pair alone. 

"Bradley?" Red asks like she can't believe he is standing in front of her. "Why are you here?"

He tries to keep that question from breaking his heart, but he feels a bit more fragile as he takes his seat next to her once more. 

"I couldn't leave you," It's the truth, but there's more he has to say sitting heavily on his tongue. "I know why you tried to walk away," 

The way she sighs makes them both ache. She doesn't say a word, so Bradley continues, slipping his hand into hers. 

"Do you really think that I would throw away everything we have, the life we have built together just because of this?" 

"But, Bradley," Red whimpers, trying to pull her hand back. He squeezes it harder, not letting it slip from his grasp. 

"Red, I need you to hear this. I have wanted kids my whole life, you know that. I wanted them with you, because you are my everything, but kids have never been the end game. It's you and I, that's the endgame. A ring on your finger and a little house somewhere off the beach, maybe a little prop plane and a dog. God, Red, you are my endgame, and no ability to have children, or not have them is going to change that. I can't lose you, Red, you're it for me," 

They are both crying, ugly tears and snot slick across their faces. The way they clutch each others hands like they might drift apart if they let go. 

"I love you, Red, and Vienna waits for us both, together,"

"Together," Red manages through the pain, through the tears. Bradley stands, brushing her hair back once more before pressing an overly wet kiss to the center of her forehead. When he sits back down, he pulls his phone from his pocket. With quick fingers music slowly begins to pour through the speakers, filling the quiet of the hospital room. 

"Slow down you crazy child 

You're so ambitious for a juvenile

But then if you're so smart tell me

Why are you still so afraid?"

Bradley sings the words to her, his voice low and full of love. Red listens to him as her eyes begin to droop, sleep threatening to take over. She fades in and out for a few minutes with the verses. Somewhere between wake and sleep, Red pictures Vienna in the way Bradley described, the vision taking over her dreams. 

[samstclair]

Tommy Shelby's Barmaid

Tommy Shelby X Reader

Anonymous Request - 

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night Sammy Sammy yes I am! So check this out - I just saw Oppenheimer and came to the conclusion that I really miss seeing Cillian Murphy's face. So that night I began rewatching Peaky Blinders and am just in awe. So you know the point. I want to be his barmaid. No hate to Grace, love her, but let a girl just imagine. And that's where you come in. So yeah I wanna be his barmaid and sing to him. Maybe we're off to the races? Do your thing or else I'll might do a thing and report your account! :)

Word Count: pretty long

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And where are we off to, Miss?" 

"One ticket to London, please!" you told the airport cashier, (or whatever they're called I'm not sure tbh), with your gleeful, bimbo smile. "The UK, one, thought. Not the Ohio one! Can't have that happening again!"

The lady didn't respond, she instead gave you a soft customer service fake ass laugh pretending she knew full well what you were talking about and kept her eyes down on the computer, securing that flight. You no longer trusted yourself to use computers or laptops, thanks to those Benadryl pills you used to be addicted to. But now that you were evicted from your New York apartment, you lost those pills in the process, and honestly all of your personal shit, so you've been forced to quit cold turkey and was actually experiencing withdrawals at the very moment. But, you couldn't let anyone know this! You needed to leave America fast. 

"Okay, to confirm your name, Y/L/N, Y/F/N, correct?" 

"Yes, ma'am!" You passed her your credit card and she did her magic, charging you a fuck ton of money!

The printer pooped out your ticket and she passed both that and your card back to you. 

"Enjoy your flight. Safe travels," the lady wished you. 

"Oh my god, girl, you too!" you wished back. You turned around and found your terminal, buying an expensive Starbucks drink of your choice and plopping your big butt down on a chair. You sat and looked around, sipping your coffee like a mother, taking in your surroundings of this little JFK airport they got going on. 

"I'm really a world traveler right now...like, I'm on some Lewis and Clark shit right now," you thought to yourself. 

You looked down at your luggages, or perhaps, just luggage. All that remained after your eviction just filled one Hello Kitty-themed suitcase you bought from TJ Maxx. You also had your rare vintage Juicy Couture purse you bought from Depop, thats faux leather was literally peeling off like dead skin, filled with all your essentials - lip gloss, nearly dead Elf Bar, crumpled up two-year-Goodwill old receipts, wired headphones because that's what cool people use walking down the street, crystals, loose hair ties, a baby Calico Critter, wire-exposed phone charger, and more that aren't too important to mention. You did miss all your other knick knacks and items that were lost, but since you were traveling light you 1. saved more money since it was just carry-on and 2. looked mysterious, just a girl on the road on her own adventure. 

"After all, items are just like - items. Things." you thought, trying to convince yourself that all material items are just not real and people don't really need those things. This is what you repeated to yourself over and over but in all honesty it wasn't helping. You were fucking pissed you lost all your shit. 

With all your items was your go-to airport fit - a Juicy baby blue tracksuit. So now you resorted to old PJ's you had shoved to the bottom depths of your drawer, wrinkled to the house boots down and forgotten of existence. They were a pair of Nike shorts and a baby tee that read "I <3 Surfer Boys". You then looked down to your white Crocs with the knock-off Jibblitz - the ootd would just have to do. 

As you sat in your terminal, waiting, you thought about what adventures UK would bring to you. You wondered what people you'd encounter, what new storylines you'd get wrapped into, what NPCs would say to you - it really did feel like you were fast-traveling into another country in a video game. 

Safe to say, you were ready for liftoff! Whenever that liftoff! would be because your flight was delayed like three times cause that's just airport things! This was the start of a new adventure! New and humble beginnings! No more America and their never-ending obsession with you committing financial fraud or whatever the IRS loved to say! But never mind that don't ask don't PUSH!!!!!!

Some hours later, you were finally able to board your flight. By this time, let's just say - people were fucking pissed about their flight being delayed, but you didn't really mind it. Yes, you were in a big time rush to leave America as soon as possible, but all that time waiting allowed you to finish the only downloaded show on your phone: LPS Popular. Shit was finally getting heated, Savannah Reed was def the no nonsense type of girl you envisioned yourself to be. 

Anyway whatever you boarded on, took your window seat and went through the usual bullshit of waiting for everyone to board on and take off and turbulence and random ass baby crying and shitty food and whatever. 

About a half hour in the sky, you looked through the catalogue of movies available - none which caught your interest. 

However, after scrolling for another half hour - you found the one. 

"Oh my god, a movie about two lovers flying in the sky staring Cillian Murphy and Rachel McAdams?!" you thought excitedly. "That's some good shit right there."

You hit that play button, scooted deeper into that seat, propped your patas up, and was subsequently locked IN for the short ass movie Red Eye. 

The majority of the plot went over your head because you were to entranced with the Irish actor's cunty little face, sassy little attitude and blue big orbs for eyes, causing you to replay certain scenes over and over. (Specifically that bathroom scene. You didn't miss SHIT there). That hour and a half passed by and the movie had finished. Safe to say, you were NOT expecting any of that shit to go down.

"If that were me, I'd call that fucking hotel before he even told me to. Shit. I get Mark Wahlberg, if I was on that plane, things really would have gone differently," you thought, shaking your head. ]

After your almost seven hour flight, you had finally made it to London Town. It was indeed a stormy day, he was right, but you could go outside and roam around, contrary to popular belief. In order to prep for this trip, you stuck to just watching British films, trying to get an overall vibe of what those little redcoats were like. Pride and Prejudice (2005), Love Actually, Trainspotting, Little Women (Greta's version), Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon - let's just say, your Letterboxd was going crazy. You sobbed pretty disgustingly to all of them, except Trainspotting and Clockwork, which made you feel just icky. And Barry Lyndon just made you angry fuck that guy fr. 

A/N - I just realized that Little Women, both Greta's version and the older 90s Winona Ryder one take place, in FACT, America. Oops! So yeah disregard move on u horndog <3

You once thought you were well-rounded on what chaos was, after all, you've been 1. in theater school, 2. briefly in the Medellin cartel, 3. worked in corporate America - but all of those experiences looked like fun Sunday pastimes the moment you stepped your fat butt off of the plane into London's Heathrow airport. Nothing could've prepped you for this shit. Too many people all doing different things in different directions was NOT your favorite place to be in! Let's just say - shit was hectic. 

You boarded off, left your terminal and gathered your one Hello Kitty-themed suitcase and bolted the fuck out, running at your highest speed possibly, your Crocs locked in their sports mode, you just ran. It's what you did best, your superpower some might say. Maybe since Ezra Miller is canceled for being a kidnapper, you could possibly replace the Flash? Who knows tbh. 

You ran so fast, miles and miles, (kilometers here!), you didn't realize you were now standing in front of the Big Ben. It was, admittedly, pretty big. Too bad you couldn't read time like that. 

You looked down to your phone to see your receipt - you needed to be back in three hours for your next flight to Glasgow, Scotland - your actual destination. This London shit? Yeah it was only a layover. But you couldn't miss it. 

You ended up missing it. You fell asleep on the big red bus, thinking you could sneak a little tour in before having to return for your next flight. By the time you woke up, it was morning, and you were alone, just you and your carry on. 

"Ello Miss? Miss?" 

Your eyes fluttered, adjusting to the brightness. A big English dude with missing and fucked up teeth was poking you awake. 

"Bro what?" you muttered, pushing yourself up. 

"Miss, it seems you've drifted off to sleep," the man said.

"Wait," you collected your thoughts, looked around at your surroundings, then down to your phone - your flight was seven hours ago. You felt your heart fall to the acidic pits of your stomach - 

"Ain't no fucking way I'm stuck in London", you blurted out.  "AIN'T NO FUCKING WAY!"

As if you took ten shots of DayQuil, you jumped up, scrambled for your shit and rocked the bus side to side as your Crocs took you across it, out to the exit and back onto the cobblestone streets of London Town. It was cloudy as always. 

"Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no. NO I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T!" you yelled, running back towards the direction of that hell of an airport. You needed to get back. You NEEDED to get back to Scotland, you literally saw Trainspotting just for Scotland!

But alas, it was too late. By the time you made it back to Heathrow, there was no refunding. You would have to pay another fat BUCK to get on another flight. 

"Oh fuck that," you told the English lady. You walked back out, no way this little kingdom was gonna make a profit off of your ass. "I'd rather walk!"

And then you began to walk. Not run, you were a little hungry and needed some energy for that amount of dedication. 

You stopped by a tea place and thought that you might as well have a crumpet or whatever, which sucked ass. They charged so much for what?  A pastry with like three grams of sugar? Girl bye. 

You sat on the curb, looking down at your phone and opening a map, you could literally just walk to Scotland. Yeah it'd be a pretty fat walk, but you might get a crazy BBL ass for free from all the walking. 

"Babes? Are you alroight?" you heard a strong British voice call. You turned and there it was - a chav. A real fucking chav. 

"Oh my god, you guys exist?"

She furrowed her dark over-filled brows as she smacked her nude-lipsticked lips on a piece of gum. There were other chavs behind her, all bleach blonde, overly tan and red ass cheeks. It was like your friend group, but in an alternate universe. 

"Wot?" she asked again, more confused than offended. 

"Listen girl, I don't know if you can tell - but I'm not from here. I need to get to from the UK to Scotland. How does a girl like me do that?"

"Babes? Yor in the UKay, loike, this is London?"

"Huh?" you asked, like Trisha Paytas in the car. 

"Babes," another chimed in, "the UKay is loike, mooltiple places poot into one? Loike, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales -"

"Oh, so they're all like, the same?"

Their faces dropped with fear. 

"Babes, don't say that. I've just met you, but I'd definitely tell you loike, don't say that around other peepol," the main chav warned. 

"Especially the Irish, yeah," another said. "They'd be mentool."

"Oh, no worries here. I'm an ally to all," you assured, "so do you know where I can rest for the night?"

"Babes!" the chav said excitedly, "I've got family in Birmingham! It's up norf, already on the way for yor travels! I'll text me nana so you can stay there fo free!"

"Babes," you said, you're cheap frugal ass getting hyped, "you're such a babe! Thanks girlie!"

You ended up dropping some money to take an Underground from London to Birmingham, because you then really realized your Crocs could only momentarily take you so far. Also, tat withdrawal wasn't doing you any favors. Anyway you enjoyed the ride, drinking some complimentary tea with your headphones in and disassociating as you looked out the window into the cement walls. You started to regret not bringing some sort of sweater because who would've thought a baby tee and Nike shorts would be enough. Shit was chilly. 

You stepped off into the platform, feeling a strong GUST of wind rush past you. You first kinda enjoyed it like it was some sort of main character moment, but the moment that ghastly smell of smoke hit your nostrils - you went frozen like Mitch McConnell. 

"Jeeeeeesus CHRIST!" you bellowed, "who fucking farted?"

You looked around, but soon became even more confused. Everyone was giving you the hardest stares you've ever received in your lifetime. But it wasn't their stares, no, you've been stared at before for worst things, it was cause of their - fits. 

Everyone was dressed like some 1900s shit. It reminded you of the show Downton Abbey, the show your old boss Logan Roy used to binge. Little particles of what looked like dandruff floated around you and everything else just seemed gray. 

"Wait, are you guys filming?" you asked in your bimbo self, smiling, "did I just walk onto set?"

No one replied. They really thought you were insane. There you were - rough looking, mid-withdrawal, I <3 Surfer Boys, old high school Nike shorts, Crocs, Five Below socks, Dollar Store sunnies, Hello Kitty-themed suitcase and Juicy bag, Elf bar in one hand and your phone with dangling earbuds wrapped around it. They were petrified. 

You grew angry. You just stood there as they stood there too - both you and the Downton Abbey cosplayers were in a stand off.  

"Okay whatever," you said, rolling your eyes. "Stay hating!"

You whipped around and began walking down the pavement, calling, or as the English say "ringing", that chav's nana. However, it rang and rang, you dialed and dialed, the lady was not picking up. 

"Um, what the fuck?" you said looking down at your phone, "can this girl pick up?"

You continued to dial, your other hand to your waist like a Karen. You continued to look around as it rang, really impressed with the set. 

It had been very foggy, and the cobblestone roads led down between old brick buildings where people in their 1920's costumes walked along, smoking and dodging the occasional explosion from the coal-burning coming from inside the buildings. Horses were trotting, carrying hay and other shit. People were yelling in their crazy accents and the dandruff kept raining down. Pillars up in the sky let out dark clouds of smoke. That gross exhaust smell still lingered, and no matter how much Nicki Minaj body spray you put on yourself, there was no way to mask it. 

"Great. I'm homeless AGAIN!" you thought, giving up on that nana. "Whatever. I didn't even want a roof to sleep under anyway. C'est la vie honestly."

The stares did not cease. In fact, it got worse. You knew you were hot but like what the fuck can't a girl just walk and bitches mind their business?

Things were getting worse. The cobblestone ass road made it hard for you to pull your suitcase, so you were just essentially dragging it, you phone was on ten percent, you were hungry and thirsty because let's be real you did not eat much on that train, and honestly just over it. 

You passed all the workers, dodged some random explosions, evaded random running children, spit some of that dandruff out of your mouth. Safe to say, you were angry but needed to persevere!

Eventually it was nighttime. You couldn't really tell if it was night or if it was just the pollution in the air at first, but after asking a random man he assured you it was indeed nighttime. 

"I don't know how you guys live with all this dandruff," you told him, shaking your head. "You guys must be getting paid good as extras."

"Dandruff?" the man said, "that's ash, luv!"

"Thank god, that makes more sense. I was thinking I was gonna need to buy some Heads and Shoulders. I hate Heads and Shoulders."

He continued to look at you weird while he smoke his, what you were pretty sure in the span of you two talking, sixth cigarette. "Heads and shoulders? Fuck are they to do with your hair?"

"I know, horrible branding. I feel bad for the people in Pompeii. They probably thought it was like, a dandruff epidemic."

Eventually the man directed you to the Garrison, which was supposed to be this pub or whatever that all the locals hit up. You really just wanted a drink of water and like Taco Bell or something. Maybe a "Macky D's"? By the time you made it to the establishment, it was midnight, since you took forever cause you kept getting lost. 

It was situated in a weird spot, where several men would occasionally run out and throw up bad on the dirt floor. It sounded hella noisy and rough in there, which was something you were not looking forward to. But again, you're hungry. 

"I'm fucking starving," you thought to yourself as you pushed those heavy doors open, your suitcase getting caught in them. A surge of anger caused you to yank it past the swinging door, causing the it to slam against the wall and crack the glass. You got scared cause you didn't wanna pay for it, so you applied the "hear nothing, see nothing" tactic. It always worked <3

Nothing could've prepared you for when you entered. The energy was just not it. Heathrow vibes for sure. Hoards of drunk ass English men doing, well, things that drunk English men do. They were yelling, cursing, fighting, just being overall very annoying and overwhelming. It took you by surprise, you were just in awe that English were real. It was literally like a Call of Duty lobby but the English colonized it as they always do.  

"These motherfuckers are crazy bro," you thought to yourself, getting a seat at the bar. The bartender made his way to you, and after some hesitation on his end, he finally spoke. 

"Em, what can I get you, ma'am?" he asked, looking at you confused. 

"Y'all got a menu?" 

"I'm sorry?"

"Food, bro. I want food." You were not having it. 

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid there's just drinks here."

"Fine, fucking alcoholics," you said, holding in your hangriness, "what about water?"

"Huh," he thought, "no one ever asks for water. I forgot we served it!"

He turned around and as he began to pour some crusty water into a dusty glass, you felt a tap on your shoulder. But before you could even turn to ask what the fuck whoever wanted what, another big burly English drunk dude was all up in your face. 

"ELLO MISS! MIGHT I HAVE A CHANCE AT BUYIN' YA A DRINK?"

You were flabbergasted. Dude REEKED of some ale. 

"Uh, you stink," was all you could muster, pressing your fingers on your nose. 

His face fell into a very angry one. "YOU FOOCKIN' JEZEBEL!"

You weren't sure what 'jezebel' meant so you just rolled your eyes and turned back to the new glass of water placed in front of you by the bartender, and before he could walk off you downed the entire thing. He, too, like McConnell, was frozen at your abilities. 

"Sorry about that man, Miss," the bartender said as he poured you another. "You're very pretty. Must be getting used to it by now around here."

"Yeah, like, about that," you started, taking your time with the water this time because you didn't know how much they had left in this place, "why is everyone cosplaying? Like, people here are DEEP into their character, which, don't get me wrong - I respect. I used to be a theater major myself, so I get it. But this is like, crazy. I know the English love their theater, but god."

The bartender, with a hypothetical gun to his head, could not for the life of him understand what the fuck you meant. You kinda got that vibe when he didn't reply right away. He actually looked worried for your mental wellbeing. 

"Um, why did you just like, disassociate?" you asked. 

"I'm sorry, Miss," he chuckled nervously, "you've just confused me, is all."

"Yeah, all that alcohol is giving you that early onset dementia. Do you know where I can get food around here?"

"Hmm," he thought, "I don't really know, to be honest with ya. And it's quite late, so I'm not sure what's open."

You could cry. You hated being hungry and tired at the same time, added to literally everything else that was happening around you. You were able to tune out the drunken men yelling behind you, but only to a point - mama was close to blowing. 

"Oh my GOD," you started. "WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO TO GET SOME FUCKING FOOD AROUND HERE?!" you caught yourself. The bartender was growing more concerned. "I'm sorry," you cleared your voice, "it's just like, your queen for real sucked."

"Queen?" he asked. 

"Wow, you're really dedicated to the craft. Like I said, I respect." You continued to drink your water. 

"How'd you end up here in London, anyway?" he asked, leaning against the counter. You later found out his name was Harry, like Styles. 

"Oh, buddy," you said, "what a story I have for you."

You then began to blabber on about what brought you to this point, which helped because it made you forget about your current grievances. Soon, the entire pub went dead quiet, tuned in to your story time. You felt like Tana Mongeau, and these were your viewers. You get why the majority of YouTubers were lowkey conceited. (Not Tana though she's funny love you girl <3). It was like a big kindergarten story time. 

About half an hour later, you were mid-way through. 

"And so, when my boss literally fucking died, I was like, 'oh shit, I've like lost my job by like, proxy'? It was scary."

"How'd he pass?" one of the drunk men asked. 

"Dude, get this. He died getting his phone out of the toilet. Like, some Elvis shit," realizing they wouldn't get what you just said, you thought it best to move right on, "anyway, I was like, 'maybe this is a good time to move on, maybe America isn't the place for me.' I was also wanted by the Men in Black, too. They don't fuck around."

"Who's the Men in Black?" Harry asked. 

"The IRA were after ya?" another asked, in shock.

"I. R.S. It's not important. So, after he died, one of his kids had to be chosen to take over the company. Imagine like a Game of Thrones sort of thing. My on-and-off boyfriend, Kendall, is the oldest so you'd think it'd be him, right? Like, his name was underlined and everything. Or crossed out, you know, is the dress blue and black or white and gold? The day of, I snuck into the building for the board meeting. I wasn't supposed to be there, cause you know, I'm not a share holder or whatever, but I thought 'if I act like nothing happened, maybe technically I'm NOT fired cause my boss died, maybe nobody will say anything?' Confidence takes you a loooong way let me tell you! So at the board meeting, I voted Kendall, but his stupid home alone ass brother Roman was like 'oh YOU'RE still here?'. Then he told me to fuck off and that I should've died with Logan? Could you believe that?"

They were all in shock, muttering angry English curse words to each other. 

"And then I was like, 'no fuck you. What ever happened to democracy? I don't have a vote?'. But whatever, Kendall didn't win and he left the building. No, Horton Hears a Who Tom won, and while everybody was celebrating I was like, 'guys? GUYS! ALL EYES ON WINDOWS! WHERE DID KENDALL GO? All eyes on windows!'. Then I got like, kicked out or whatever. I kept spamming Kendall, texting him and calling him and nothing. Like 'Kenny, wya???'. He was ghosting me. Then I saw right after he put his phone on Do Not Disturb. Targeted, really. I saw his location at Central Park, facing the water, and this had me WORRIED. Kendall and bodies of water? Yeah they don't mix well. I needed to talk to him before he jumped! But when I got there, his new dumbass body guard was like, 'Can you leave? He's not seeing anyone'. I kept calling him, and he wouldn't turn to look at me. He was like, mega dissociating watching that horizon."

"Must've killed him that he's no longer the number one boy," a drunken English man said, somber. 

"Def," you said.

"So you and Kendall?" another asked.

"No more. He never picked up, so I thought we were done," the men in the bar were devastated. "Yeah, really sad. I already mourned, though. So, yeah, I was like, 'what do I do now?' Logan gave me some money, so I can really just do anything? I was walking down the streets of New York and saw a random man in a suit I thought was the IRS, and it hit me - I'm lowkey a fugitive? I need to like, leave. Logan isn't there to protect me anymore, you know? And then it hit me - I'll go to Scotland! In Logan's honor! Like, his hometown. Plus, I thought Scotland didn't have extradition, but it was actually Venezuela. But it's okay, same shit. And that's why I'm here."

"But this is Birmingham?" another man said. 

"Oh, yeah, don't worry I fully aware. But yeah, that's it."

Again, the pub had been silent. They'd been intrigued, captivated. You waited for someone to speak up and break the silence, but about two minutes later you realized that wasn't gonna happen. 

"Okay? Anyway, so nothing to eat here?" you asked Harry. 

He shook his head, stunned. You then slowly crept off the chair, gathered your shit and saw your way out. "Weirdos," you thought. 

You exited back out, it was now fully dark with few lampposts shining light onto the falling dandruff. It all reminded you of exactly where you were - stuck. 

You slumped against the wall, onto the ground where you didn't see any of the mud that splashed all over your shorts. You were too tired and over it to give a fuck. You pulled out your phone, and saw the battery on 2%. 

"Man FUCK!" you exclaimed, "I know damn well none of these Lin Manuel Miranda stans built an electric socket." 

You went on to scroll mindlessly through your feed, which barely loaded because of the lack of signal. You were in the middle of spamming the refresh button until you received a notification from Snapchat that read, "One Year Ago Today". You clicked it open, forgetting you still had that app downloaded, and its contents nearly pushed you over the edge to start balling. 

You clicked play. 

"Oh, don't be a pussy, Greggguh!"

"Mumusdsfjks," Greg said, shoving more marshmallows into his mouth, "Chubb Bunif."

"Sorry, buddy, couldn't hear you!" Tom said, giddy, shoving his own marshmallow down Greg's mouth.

"You got it Greg!" you heard yourself say. 

You wanted to cry. You wished you could just go back to Waystar in that moment, playing the Chubby Bunny challenge with gay lovers Tom and Greg. 

"Man, I miss them," you thought. But alas, that was all gone now...

You quickly closed the video, going to your bank app to see how much money remained. After all, Logan DID leave you with enough, but you couldn't help yourself on those McDonald's breakfast orders through Uber Eats.  

Your tears quickly evaporated like they were put through the snap of Thanos when you got a glance of your credit score though. Oh no. 

"OH MY GOD?!??! MY CREDIT IS AT 400????!!? I'M LIKE, FUCKED?!???!"

"What's a credit score?"

You nearly shit yourself at the deep, sullen voice. You looked up and let's just say - you were intimidated. It's the terrorist dude from Red Eye. He wore a flat cap and a tweed little suit type of fit. 

But it wasn't the tweed that had you transfixed - no, it was those eyes....they were familiar. The last time you felt power of being in a trance like that were those Furbies... it forced you to look at them, you had lost all ability of self-control. They made you question yourself, your purpose and whole life being. They were commanding you with their uncanny valley vibe. Their immense gravity caused all time to slow...

"Dude, put those away!" you yelled, forcing your eyes shut and looking away. 

He didn't reply. 

"I'm sorry," you giggled, realizing he wasn't gonna reply to you and instead just stood there. "I'm just really hungry. You got anything?"

He thought for a moment. "Actually...we don't eat." He had a little sassy, matter-of-factly tone of speaking you fucked with heavily. 

"Yeah, that's why your official dish is tikka masala," a glance of that dish popped into your head. "Man I could fuck that up right now."

"I can take you to my office, I might have something there," he said. You agreed right after, anything would have to do. Little did you know, this would be the man who would save you. Not in a self-fulfilling sense but he'd grab you something to eat. 

You two made it to his office, some ways away. It was just a big ass dark room with tables in the middle, which you would later find out the betting on his horse racing took place. 

You sat down and he took off his coat and goofy ass hat, then went to the back for a moment. You looked around, you felt like you were in a dungeon. You looked down to your phone - shit was dead. 

He came back moments later, with a single loaf of bread he placed in front of you. He then took a seat across from you, took out a cigarette and did what the English do best, smoke. 

You were a bit taken aback, and it definitely showed, since his little sassy face got more sassier. 

"Well?" he bellowed, motioning to the food.

"Honestly," you started, not wanting to offend cause he did scare you (in a hot way), "I don't know what more I was expecting. I know Panera bread when I see it."

You began to eat, he just watched you. You would be annoyed had this been anyone else, but man was too fine. 

Some minutes went by, and he just smoked while you ate. He was definitely a man of few words. 

"You're so mysterious," you said. "Is that your character?"

He took in a big puff and put his feet up on the table like he owned the place, cause he literally did. "You don't belong here."

"Yeah, no fucking shit. I'm supposed to be in Scotland."

"What's in Scotland?" he asked, tapping his cigarette into an empty whiskey glass. 

"Bagpipes, I've heard."

He then leaned to the side, grabbing his cigarette case out and offering you one. You declined. 

"It's okay, I don't like cigarettes. They're gross," you went inside your bag and pulled out your crusty geriatric Elf Bar that was on life support, "here, try this! She's my sidekick!"

He stared at it, not a thought behind those eyes. He then rose up. 

"What about a whiskey, eh?" He went to a table against the wall and poured two glasses. You shrugged at his decline of your Elf Bar, and took some shitty hits cause girl it's dead give it up. 

As he had his back to you pouring the glasses, you really thought about how manly he was, in a way all those Ryan Gosling Drive stans love. He reminded you of those mafia boss fanfics you used to read. The way he spoke was so low and serious, but it made your feet rock like crazy!

He turned back around and placed your glass in front of you. Before he sat, he took a swing of his and literally drank it all in one shot like an animal. Wanting to impress him, you did the same, but soon regretted it right after. You'd tried whiskey before, but that was just not good. It was so strong it burned your esophagus, causing you to feel like you had strep throat all over again. You nearly gagged and threw it up but you couldn't let Tommy see you that way. He was staring. 

"Jesus Christ," you said in a raspy, chain smoker voice, trying to smile through the pain, "that's some real shit right there. I'd much prefer a BuzzBall."

"What brings you to the UK?" he asked again, a little more interrogating. 

"Fine. I'm avoiding parole."

"Parole?"

"Have you ever been on parole?" you asked. 

He took a moment, your question hit hard. "Ever since men like me got back from France, we've always felt we were on parole under the king." He had a sadness to it, which then made you kinda sad. 

"Aww, you're a parole baby <3."

He rose his brows in a "yeah this girl off it" way. 

"Does France give you bad memories?" you asked, wanting to know both out of being a nosy bitch and seeing if you could break him. 

"Most nights," he said. 

"Don't worry, me too."

"You served?"

"I might has well have," you replied, thinking of that past life living with your old boyfriend. 

"I wasn't aware women served."

"We always do," you assured. You kept looking into his eyes like it was a staring contest. 

"What's it you're looking at?"

"You have a very, no-nonsense cunty face. Like BBL," you first smiled telling him that, but it then reminded you of when you told your old boyfriend Kendall the same thing. The thought of him made you sad, you wondered where your number one boy was now...

You didn't realize but Tommy noticed your change in demeanor, initially believing you were thinking about your time during the war in France. He rose and grabbed another drink, placing one in front of you as he killed his in less than a second. 

You snapped out of your sadness. "Oh, no thanks. I don't think I can have anymore. This trip will definitely be very detoxing for me."

You two then sat in comfortable silence for some time, as if you two were both mourning after the innocence lost before France. You were something different for him, a new comfort he couldn't find much else in that polluted ass city. And you found comfort in him, he really did seem like he needed fixing. But that's not what you do, no no, he's a grown ass man and can fix himself. You'll just watch from the sidelines <3. 

Eventually, you stayed in Birmingham. Once you were aware that your money had no value in the UK, you realized you needed to be employed again to save up for Scotland. Dollars, turns out, did not equal shillings and pounds or whatever. Tommy hooked you up after finding out your situation and generously gave you a job at the Garrison as a barmaid, along with Harry, who in time, became your BFF. It wasn't that hard of a job, these men never mixed any drinks and would instead have their alcohol straight like a bunch of monsters, so you kinda ate at this job. Another perk was that these 1920s bitches loved thin eyebrows, so your Y2K overplucked eyebrows fit right in! Full circle shit!

But perhaps the best perk was when Tommy would come in every so often and give you a little LOOK. Oh that shit made you rabid yes it did! It made you all hot down there and you couldn't handle it! You two barely spoke, as he would go into the side room for meetings and whatever mumbo jumbo he got up to with his brothers, but when you did you did your best to bring out that old femme fatale. You knew damn well he'd fuck that shit up. And let's be real so did you. 

You knew that you had Tommy in your CLUTCH when he was once lecturing you - basically there was talk about some Billy Kimber dude amongst him and his brothers and the members of the gang, but you couldn't get past how fun it was to say the man's name, especially in their wild ass accent. You kept incessantly shouting it, to what you thought was a joke, "BILLY FACKIN KIMBA" in every possible moment you could, but it would send all the men into a paranoid shock thinking Billy boy was just around the corner. Obviously, he wasn't, in fact you couldn't point out who Billy Kimber was in a crowd of English, but let's just say - it sent them for a sheer panic. They would constantly tell Tommy to get you to stop, since it was bringing back war trauma basically and never felt fear like that since the war. You personally thought they were being a bunch of pussies but whatevs. 

Anyway Tommy found you at the bar after closing and wanted to have a serious talk with you - no more random BILLY FACKIN KIMBA. As he was lecturing you on the dangers of it, you actually started to disassociate in those eyes of his. You then started to think, 

"What if I just grabbed his hat?"

Those intrusive thoughts grew stronger and stronger as the moments flew by and the more his voice became a bunch of muffled nothing. And they won. 

"GOTCHA HAT!" you spat before taking his flat cap off and running with it, jumping over the bar on some parkour shit and pushing those doors open onto the grimy streets of Birmingham, in an excited manic.  You ran for nothing, since you didn't notice in the adrenaline of it all he didn't move an inch and instead just stood at the bar, stumped. From that point on, he knew you weren't like other girls. Cause let's be real who in their right fucking mind would do that to Tommy Shelby? You did girl xoxo <3

But when your image with Tommy REALLY hit home for the guy, it was one night. One very special night...

You were working the night shift at the Garrison, again. It was another rainy day in London Town, and you were all alone cleaning up. You started to think about Gabbie Hanna, and how low key right she was. You continued to rap to yourself, 

"♪ Overwhelmed, overworked, overpaid. I'm on top of the world sitting pretty ♪ -" 

The doors flew open, causing you to jump pretty high up. You looked to the entrance, it was Tommy. And man was drenched and tired looking, your fave combo. 

He walked over, behind the bar and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He was always a little emo and to himself, but something about him now was really depressing, like man's definitely going through it.

He then took a seat at a table, and looked at you with dead eyes. 

"What's with the frown?" you asked, trying to lighten up the mood but was severely unsuccessful. (Unbeknownst to you he literally just had to put down a horse he thought was cursed :/ it's a canon event!)

He didn't reply. Surprise surprise instead he just drank his whiskey done. You chewed your gum, clueless. 

You just continued to clean, continuing Gabbie's rhyme in your head. 

"♪ Overwhelmed, overwork, underpaid ♪ -"

"Can you sing?"

You turned around again. He fr sounded sad asf. It shocked you, cause did he like, read your mind or sum? 

"Uh, yeah. You want me to sing?"

"Every barmaid knows how to sing."

"Okay, sure. Like acapella?"

He just stared at you, lost again with your mumbo jumbo. 

"Well, I know Lana, I know Nicki, my ex had a song L to the OG-"

"Lana. She sounds nice."

You nodded. "She really is, I love her. Okay, I think I know a song."

"Stand up there," he pointed to a table. You were a bit hesitant, the last time you did that you ate shit like that one girl on YouTube who was also singing on a table and ate shit. But it was for Tommy so you did so anyway. 

You climbed up, took out your gum, flicked it in a bucket, cleared your throat, moved your hair out of your face, and fixed your posture - this was your Pose moment tonight, and Tommy's Billy Porter. 

You then started to sing White Mustang by Lana, but the moment you got to the chorus, which was, well, White Mustang, he told you to stop. 

"Something else, please," he asked demanding yet softly.

"What? Too close to home? Don't worry, Lana does that," you assured, "here, I'll sing a song that hits close to me, it's called How to disappear, it's what do when I'm trying to run from the IRS."

You cleared your throat again and started to sing and girl you ATE THAT SHIT!!!!!

You hit those fucking notes, you were lost in your little own world envisioning yourself in a music video. You understood why America's Got Talent contestants were nervous, cause the pressure? Yeah it's real. And not only is Tommy Billy Porter, he's also Simon Cowell - a yes from that Brit would secure your spot.

Speaking OF Tommy, because momentarily you forgot he was there with you - the man was enthralled, ENCHANTED. He sat silently, the rainwater dripping down his face, as he was taking in every small gesture you made, taking in every musical note that came out of your BBL mouth, (even the voice cracks), and just taking, well, you in. At that very moment, he was in love. YOU were the femme fatale he needed in his life, the one that would complete him, make him feel whole, and would give him purpose. 

Once you were finished, you snapped back into reality and realized you actually weren't in a music video. You looked to Tommy, whose face barely made any other emote other than the one where he looked like he was annoyed, staring up at you. A wave of anxiety flooded over you - you were the center of his world right now, and that pressure was too hot!

You quickly climbed down, and flashed him a big smile. 

"So?" you asked, now LITERALLY feeling more grounded on the ground. 

He didn't respond at first. Moments later, he did. 

"Do you have something nice to wear?"

"Like what?"

"A dress?"

"Um," you thought, trying to remember the contents of your Hello Kitty-themed suitcase, "maybe. Why?"

He rose up, getting ready to leave from the fear and insecurity of the emotions he just experienced. "I want to take you to the races."

"We're gonna race?"

"Horses. Horse races," he corrected you, making his way to the exit. "Be ready by tomorrow, I'll collect you before noon."

"Oh my god, like a date?" you were too slow to come to the conclusion because by that time he'd already left. The excitement quickly mixed in with the anxiety, which wasn't the best feeling in the world. You knew in anticipation for tomorrow you were gonna need SOMETHING to take the edge off, so before closing up you snatched some bottles of alcohol to take to your flat. You weren't really sure what exactly they were, but what you did know was that it was gonna taste like fucking ass. But when mama needs her go go juice, she TAKES her go go juice.

The following morning you woke up at the crack ass of dawn to get ready - you knew you needed TIME. Not that it takes a while for you to get all pretty, girl you're already naturally stunning! but time and place - you needed to stunt today. Also, you already weren't a morning person so you didn't trust yourself to snooze. Actually, you barely slept at all last night since you were too caught up about what makeup you were gonna do, how you were gonna style your hair, what dress to wear and most of all, your ass was just asked out by Tommy. You wondered if this is how nervy the soldiers felt when they encountered bin Laden's bunker. 

You had already finished your makeup and hair, looking pretty snatched. Too bad your phone's been dead for the past couple of weeks and you couldn't take pictures. But anyway you did the usual 1920's makeup tutorial you remember watching on some Buzzfeed video a while ago, pretending you were doing a Vogue makeup tutorial in your mirror and talking step by step your process. You curled your hair into the 1920's bob they were obsessed with back then, packing on an obscene amount of gel just to keep that wave stiff. You struggled but nonetheless you got it girl. 

You were now staring at the remaining contents of your Hello Kitty-themed suitcase - let's just say, you had nothing. That's a lie you did have SOMETHING but was it appropriate for the time? No. Like if you're going to the Renaissance Fair, your ass isn't gonna wear some Skims ass dress. But guess what? That's actually all you had. 

It was a black, tight, spaghetti-strap slip-on dress that was above the knee - definitely NOT the vibe for the era, maybe a bit too revealing? But what other choice do you have? You're I <3 Surfer Boys tee? Exaaaaactly. 

You slipped it on and was taken aback - you know how you forget how good you look when it's been a while since you've dressed up and you actually surprise yourself? Yeah that was you right now. Kim would be proud to see you in that dress, in fact, she'd probably cheer you on to wear it proudly at the races. Even though she wasn't your favorite sister, you imagining her company right now really did help.  

You kept feeling yourself in the mirror - girl you looked GOOD. You put on some black heels, some perfume and that was it - you were simply that bitch now. 

"Oh my god," you thought to yourself, "Tommy's gonna flip. Shit, I'd get with me."

And just like that, you heard the honks of a car coming from outside your flat. You peered through the window, and there you saw some vintage, rinky dink ass car. 

"Oh, fuck!" you shouted, mainly to yourself, but they heard. "Coming!" you called out the window. 

It was actually happening - oh fuck he's here oh yes he is. Quickly, you grabbed one of the bottles you confiscated and took the fattest swig. It was the most horrendous, grotesque warm vodka you've ever consumed. But it would have to do.

You quickly made it downstairs, taking a moment before appearing outside to calm yourself down and make it seem as if you effortlessly just went down some stairs without a care or worry in the world. You made sure to grab a fur coat, faux of course, and your keys. 

Down by the car was Tommy in the driver's seat, with his two brothers, Arthur and John, seated in the back. They all looked at you in awe - they had never seen so much of a woman's legs in their entire life. 

"Bloody foockin' hell, Tommy! What do we have here?!" Arthur exclaimed. 

"Jesus, Tommy," said John, "I didn't think it was bloody possible for you!"

Tommy stared at you for a few seconds longer, a bit taken aback himself. 

Tommy ignored his brothers and exited his side, helping you into the passenger's. You got a whiff of his cologne that brought out an animalistic, innate horndogness of you that you remembered to keep in check. Now was not the time but it was admittedly hard cause the man just looked so good. 

He climbed back into his side, then started driving off, the cobblestone road causing you to feel even more nauseous than you already did. You didn't realize it, but you were mute for the first ten minutes from how disassociated you were. That vodka was hitting deep and swimming in circles in your empty tummy - you hadn't had breakfast, essentially raw dogging and running on nothing, because you knew if you munched on some Panera bread, you would've thrown it up from the nervousness. You were now really accepting the fact that it was a grave mistake. 

"Well, what's wrong with her?" Arthur bellowed, "is her bloody tongue cut off?"

Tommy gave you a quick little side eye, then fully turned to you after realizing you were, indeed, gone. 

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned with a TOUCH of attitude. Or maybe they were both the same you couldn't differentiate it when it came to Tommy. 

"Uh, yeah," you cleared your throat and sat up straight, "just really taking in the moment, you know? It's my first race."

Tommy turned back to the road. 

"You guys look great!" you complimented, wanting to move on. 

"Why thank you, Miss Y/N. I shall wear your kind words like a medal from tha war," said Arthur. "You look like one of them silent film stars!"

You blushed. "So, wanna listen to some music?" you suggested, hating sitting in quiet cars.

Tommy scrunched his brows. "What do you mean?"

You looked down to where the touchscreen on the car WOULD be, forgetting this car was quite literally just a box on wheels with an engine attached. AUX and Bluetooth are not in the vocabulary of these people's brains for another couple more decades. 

"Like, carpool karaoke," you suggested. 

"What?" John asked. 

"Bloody hell is that?" Arthur also asked. You also forgot, these English men wouldn't face the atrocity that is James Corden in ALSO a couple more decades. 

Tommy scoffed, a small little smile on his face but nonetheless a smile. He gets it. "Singing. She likes to sing."

"Is that right?" smiled Arthur, "wow, you've really done a number on Tommy boy over here! He's now a fan of the musical arts!"

The two brothers began laughing and smacking Tommy on the shoulders and head in a playful, men-in-a-gang, manner. He smirked. 

"I'll start, I have the perfect song - this one's called Off To The Races," you turned to Tommy, "also by Lana."

You two smiled at the little inside joke y'all had going on now. You then started singing, really into it like the night before. You were hitting those "scarlet, starlet" notes a little too good. Once you wrapped up, you left the three men in a silence that lasted for a couple minutes. Except Tommy, he was always silent. But his brothers were a little confused, but decided to just roll with it since you made Tommy happy. You thought they were just floored by your abilities. 

"Lovely," John finally said, hesitant and low to break the silence.  

"You've got yourself a bloody mental one here, Tommy," said Arthur. Tommy smiled, you were indeed a little unwell but it was okay to him. So was he <3

It had been about an hour after your arrival, you had been helping yourself to a shit ton of food by a table, stocking up like a bear ready for hibernation. You were literally the only one there, and you assumed so because the cigarettes and alcohol these Brits were fucking up were acting as appetite suppressants. Your fat ass wasn't complaining. 

Besides being the only one actually eating something of nutritional value, you were getting HEAVY looks and side eyes for your outfit. You didn't care, your ass looked good from all the walking around the pub you've been doing. Upon entering, Tommy noticed the looks to. You whispered in his ear, "it's cause none of these interbred Habsburg jaws know what a real woman a real BITCH looks like 💅." 

He didn't get exactly what you meant, but got the vibe and he liked it. He, actually, loved that you were the center of attention here, as you SHOULD be. Afterwards, he told you he had some business to attend to and knowing you were hungry, led you to the food table. He said he'd get you after he was done, and man was taking his time. But again you didn't care you were just munching away. 

"Try the scone, darling, it's absolutely dashing!" a rich, socialite said to you. Her costume was just as amazing as everyone else. 

"You know, I've been avoiding it but, maybe I will. Why not?" you smiled, grabbing one and taking a chomp. It tasted like actual ass but you have a great poker face. You moaned like Mark Weins, even hitting his crazy facial expressions. "It's great!" you mumbled. She smiled and talked on about something you didn't really pay attention to. 

Eventually, Tommy came up behind you and grabbed your arm gently. Had this been any other man, you would've pistol whipped them in the face with the rock of a scone in your hand, but it was Tommy so you just got all the butterflies inside. You turned and smiled, chewing your food and swallowing it almost hole to say something and not just stand there. 

"Fhey Tomyif," you mumbled through the dry scone. 

"Feeling better, eh?" he said in a low tone. He seem a little more cheery, which made you cheery. He was enjoying himself, as he should. And so were you, as you should. Let's just say, the vibes were good. 

"Omg, def," you said, finally swallowing the last bit of food, "you know, you should try eating something. I know you don't do it much, but, I feel like it can be a great experience for you."

He looked into your eyes. He loved that you cared. A soft smile came on his lips. 

"Not hungry."

You thought for a minute. "But like, I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten since France."

"Maybe later. Do you dance?"

"Do I dance? With a little spicy marg in me, Tommy, it's over." But alas, the bartender would have no clue what a spicy marg was, so you kinda had to retract your statement, "But no yeah I can dance sober too no biggy."

"Good," he said, grabbing your hand gently and leading you to the crowded dance floor. You turned back to wave at the socialite lady, who gave you a little wink. My girl knew you scored. 

All you knew was that the Brits LOVED their Charleston dancing, something that you definitely needed Just Dance to teach you. But she wasn't here. You were frightened at the thought, but when Tommy pulled you in, and you two just started going at it, it was as natural as your BBL ass. That one Pride and Prejudice dancing sequence had you mastered in the art. 

With his hand at your waist and the other in your hand, and your other hand around his neck feeling his buzzcut, there was no force on this earth that could stop you. You honestly just moved your legs around and were great. 

Up close to him, you were again in touch with his cologne. You needed to control yourself, but it didn't help that he was like three inches from your face. In this sea of people, it just felt like you two and no one else. 

As you two were fucking up that dance floor to that 1920s jazz music, you looked around at the other faces of people dancing around you. Some you caught staring, others pretended not to. You smiled at the fact your hot ass was intimidating. 

"Man, if I were to do the Woah here, they'd all lose their fucking minds," you thought. "What if I like, just started twerking? No, I can't. I can't let them win."  You knew those intrusive thoughts cannot get another W against you again. The last time that happened, you were expelled from theater school. You couldn't, you couldn't embarrass Tommy - but the urge was too strong. 

Almost as if Tommy read your mind, he pulled you aside the dance floor. 

"I want to introduce you to someone," he said. He then took you to a table where a man with the craziest middle part and mustache sat, beside another who looked like an owl with glasses and other carbon copies of English dudes. At the table was a fuck ton of coins and money, along with drinks and clouds of cigarette smoke from ashtrays. 

"Y/N, this is Billy Kimber. He owns the tracks here," Tommy said. Oh my god it's him, its Billy fackin Kimba...

You weren't sure why Tommy would introduce you, but you took it as a compliment. Maybe he just wanted to stunt on this guy? Who knows. 

The man with the goofy ass fucking name had a wry grin on his face that you did not like at all. The vibe was not good no more around this guy. He stuck out his hand to you, and you obliged very hesitantly. He grabbed your hand and kissed it. With that a wave of disgust flew over you, feeling as though you've been stained. Ew gross. 

"Lovely ta meet ya," the man said. He rose, "Mista Shelby, might I ask your lady for a dance?" 

"Oh, no thanks! <3" you said, a welcoming smile on your face. Tommy and Billy both looked at you as if you just said the most out of pocket shit. The owl man and English robots also gave you daring looks.

"Wot?" Kimber spat. 

You almost laughed. 

"Uh, yeah like, I don't wanna dance." you said, mimicking Tana Mongeau's "a bleach and tone".

Billy saw absolute red. He was livid. He turned to Tommy, who, too, was speechless. 

"The fuck are you on about?" Billy spat again. You really weren't sure what he didn't understand.  

You then realized - there was no getting out of this. You didn't want to cause a scene, cause you kinda already did. So you again invited those intrusive thoughts. 

"Fine," you said, clearing your throat and standing straight. "I'll dance."

You then pretended to throw something in the air, looking up in an anticipatory, worried way. They all looked up too, confused. 

"Oh my god, do you see it? Mr. Kimber, where is it?!" you said as if a bomb were to fall. 

He looked up and then to you, growing increasingly worried. He was too in shock to speak. 

"Where is it?! Where is it?! Do you see it?!" you kept looking up at basically nothing, but you knew it was something. You kept them on their toes, scared at this point. Your feet dancing softly, they were ready for impact. It was time to come down. "There! There it is and -"

With that, you pulled it down and committed the hardest, most nastiest Woah you've ever done. The last time it was that riveting was during middle school lunches. 

When you brought that down, the pose you ended on had your head down and body limp, as if you were Aang in the Avatar state during the episode where he was fighting Zuko's papa and had to unlock and harness such force.

You left them taken aback, disoriented. They didn't know what to do or how to react. You looked fucking insane. 

You took a deep breath and stood back up straight, satisfied. Once you realized that the room had fallen completely silent, even the musicians, you felt you needed to excuse yourself. 

"Um, so," you struggled to find the words. You felt the anxiety creeping up again, the lightheadedness arising. And most of all, it was time for you to empty yourself. "I've, uh," you thought harder and harder - "I'VE GOT AN ITCHY BUM!"

You split, running and running as fast as your pumps could take you. You ran and ran, it was always the most liberating activity honestly. All that dancing with Tommy, the nerves piled up along with the hors d'oeuvres - they lead to this very moment. 

You searched round and round, desperately for a bathroom. No where in this bitch was there a sign or indication, and time was running slim. This was some real Mission Impossible, Tom Cruise is on a time crunch, shit. You pushed through crowds of drunk, belligerent and yelling people, feeling your body slowly succumb to the intense body heat. 

Eventually, you spotted a familiar face. You ran. 

"Arthur!" you yelled. He spun and looked back to you. 

"Y/N! What is it?" he asked, worried. You looked a bit wild. "Are you alright? Where's Tommy?"

"He's fine, he's," you thought, "somewhere. Look, it doesn't fucking matter."

"The mouth on you -"

"Where the fuck is the bathroom in this bitch? Huh? The loo? The toilet? The washroom whatever the fuck y'all call it?"

"Well, I was on me way. It's just over there -" he pointed and you bolted. 

As you were entering, you literally ran full force into the socialite from earlier. She wasn't angry, just like Arthur, worried. 

"You look absolutely GHASTLY darling!"

"Girl move -"

You went into one of the stalls and laid your worst. Thankfully since it was a Skims dress, all you had to do was pull your Victoria Secret thong off and go. You felt bad for the ladies in their dresses and stockings and shit here - convenience was definitely not a factor yet. 

After you cleared your business, (and subsequently the whole bathroom), you stepped out of your stall, refreshed and effortless. You washed your hands, fixed your hair and makeup just a bit in the mirror, and felt yourself again. You took mental selfies, since it was all you had. 

As you left the bathroom, you heard the grunts and yells of men. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but it sounded like some shit was fr going down. You crept to the source of the noise, coming from the men's bathroom. At first, you thought someone was probably constipated, but instead it was Arthur, John and a few others absolutely rocking this guy's shit. They were beating him, cutting him with the razors sewn into their goofy caps, and curb stomping his head into the sink. So sink stomping? 

You made a gross face and walked back out. "Yeesh."

After all, it wasn't the first time you were so close to the mob.

 You remember your number one golden rule you learned from earlier during your time with Pablo: Hear nothing, see nothing!

After walking past the dance floor again, you were relieved to see that everyone and everything had gone back to normal - people were back to dancing, drinking and chatting - back to the script. You actually forgot this was supposed to be a horse race. 

But, there was no Tommy anywhere. You searched and searched, yet you couldn't find that 75% shaved head anywhere. 

You then walked back outside by the entrance, where you saw a woman smoking. You went up to her. 

"May I bum a smoke?" you asked in your best English accent, trying to speak their language. She turned to you and pulled one out, lighting it for you. "Thank you so much, you look lovely, darling."

The woman smiled. You loved hyping the girls up!

"You too. I must admit, I find your choice in wardrobe absolutely admirable and daring!"

You smiled, "Aww, really?" you quickly corrected your accent, "Oh dear, many thanks, many thanks yes."

You took a hit of that cigarette. Shit was gross. But when in Rome...

You and the woman spoke for some time, deep in conversation. It was refreshing to meet another girl here, safe to just talk shit and have a break from all the drunken men and oh no there's Tommy. 

You saw him approaching you and he looked again, upset and emo. It didn't exactly burst your bubble, you really liked Tommy, but were afraid that you possibly embarrassed him in front of the Bilbo Timberland from earlier. 

You bided the woman goodbye and walked towards Tommy. He then took you two back to his car and started off onto the road. By now, it was nearing evening. The car ride was pretty silent, you were looking out admiring the brief countryside. Shit was beautiful like a Microsoft Home Screen. 

"So, what's wrong?" you asked. "You're like, down in the dumps again. And where are your brothers?"

"They'll find their own way home," Tommy said, low and serious, the usual. 

"So is that it? Y'all got into a fight or something?"

He let out a deep breath. "I told Billy Kimber he could have a dance with you."

"Ew, why?"

"Well," he didn't want to say 'business', cause like okayyyyy shout out to 1920's gender roles!, "because you look...nice. You look pretty."

You blushed hard, trying to control your smile. Seeing this side of Tommy was like a sneak peak, it was so exclusive!

"Oh my god, Tommy, are you flirting with me? I didn't even know you had that setting available!"

He smirked, his frown OFFICIALLY being turned upside down. He chucked in disbelief of himself. He was falling. 

Once you made it back to the neighborhood, the sun had gone down and the streets were once again pretty dark. Smoky depressing England like what the Smiths wrote about you get the vibe. 

Anyway he took you to his flat, saying that he wanted to "show you something". You weren't sure what that something was, it could've honestly been like a dead body but actually it wasn't! It was dinner <3

"I've uh," he started, not crazy about the fact that he was falling for you, "I've prepared dinner."

You gasped and made a very soy ass face. How absolutely gentlemanly of him!

"Oh my god, no you didn't Tommy!" you said, "You're so sweet, that's like, so sweet! You shouldn't have!"

He smiled softly, in a "yeah I did that" sort of way. And he did just that. You were 90% sure whatever was inside he didn't cook, but it's the THOUGHT that counts!

He escorted you inside like the gentlemen he was, shutting the front door behind you two. The lights inside the flat were dim, and by the table were two plates. Upon closer inspection, you were absolutely FLOORED!!!!

"No way - tikka fucking masala?!" you exclaimed. He chuckled and it was hot. 

You walked closer and saw two very familiar, VERY FAMILIAR, colorful orbs. You turned them to the side. All this time since you'd last seen one, you forgot what they were or looked like. 

"AND FUCKING BUZZBALLS?!?!?!" you said. "Tommy, how the fuck did you even get these?"

He pulled the chair out for you, and you scooted your big fat butt in. 

"I know people. It's my job."

You couldn't help but smirk.

"It's so hot when a man has connections," your dirty Jezebel mind thought. 

He cracked the BuzzBalls opened and poured them for each of you, like it was some high end expensive ass champagne. You watched him, relishing in the moment - you had your GRIP on this man. Chivalry was in fact, despite popular belief, not dead. But it was also the 1920s so you forgot about that bit. 

You looked down at your plate - you were going to fuck. this. up. He'd never seen this side of you - the side that would tear your meal like a fucking ape cracking open a coconut with a rock for water. You thought if you should warn him, but told yourself - he needs to know ME for ME. 

You gripped that naan, grabbed a fat ass chunk of that chicken - and the moment it hit your lips, you had started giggling like Mark Weins again but subtract the poker face. You had forgotten the long lost love of spice other than pepper and salt. You could've cried if it hadn't been for the fact your makeup looked too good. 

You two dined and wined (there's no wine) for the next hour, talking and talking and chewing and chewing. Seeing him eat was hard for your mind to process, you just never thought he was capable of it. Anyway as he was talking you felt bad because you were zoning out looking at him as if he was another dish of tikka masala. He had such a sigma vibe to him, maybe alpha? (I don't know I'm not familiar with gym bro brain rot TikTok lingo but you get the vibe.) He was just so manly and yet so gentle and calculating, it kinda scared you because like he could literally have everything set up to kill you right now and you wouldn't know cause you were too charmed. But then you realized, he wouldn't have done all this shit for someone he wanted dead. No girl, he just wanted YOU! Your toes tickled at the thought, and those butterflies? They were fluttering. 

For the first time, you had anxiety but hadn't felt the need to shit yet. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol calming your nerves, or the chill vintage ambience going on, or Tommy's comfortable/intimidating presence. In other words, this felt natural and you were fucking with it. 

There were several times you needed to burp, but forgetting you weren't with your girls, you had to swallow that shit deep. After all, girls don't burp. You tried to keep your femme fatale composure. 

You were the light he needed in his very dark emo life. It had been a very long time since he had a genuine laugh, despite the fact he might have had no idea what the fuck you were talking about or saying half the time, but seeing you all bubbly and happy made him feel content. He was finally being vulnerable, letting go a little and just, well, living life. Being free. #livelaughlove

"What will you do? When you've saved enough for Scotland?" he asked. 

The idea brought you down a bit. You forgot about that shit. "Oh, well, I don't know. I kinda like the barmaid stuff, so maybe I'll try to find something similar there?"

You were eating his leftovers. He didn't eat much but liked watching you eat like it was a mukbang. He loved a girl who eats. 

"Why don't you stay?" he asked, avoiding eye contact with you as he poured himself another BuzzBall. You could tell he wasn't a fan but drank it anyway for you because you liked it. 

You again couldn't help but smirk. You loved seeing a guy CRACK!!!

"Do you want me to?" you asked, biting your tongue like the white mom. You hadn't done that in a while either, this English life didn't permit it. 

He took a sip from his drink. "Perhaps you'd be interested in working for me."

"Aren't I already, low-key though?"

"Garrison's not mine," he said. "Do you know anything about bookkeeping?"

He lit a cigarette and offered you one. You took it, not wanting to offend. 

"Well, I gotta tell you," you said, "math is NOT my forte. But oh my god yes babe thanks!"

You ran over and jumped to hug him, he hugged tightly back, he then threw you on the hard table, pushing everything to the floor and you felt his member pressed against your leg. He began kissing you, his tongue licking your lips for entrance. You let him in. Your tongues fought for dominance but you let him win. He eventually started going down on you, taking your Skims dress clean off, and started kissing your labia.

"This...this is a bloody fucking labia," he says. 

You lifted your legs as he began to eat you out, his wet breath on your cooter. He held your foot up and raised himself, ready to press his member into your entrance. Your eyes were closed, ready to take the boy from Birmingham in. This is it. No missed flights, no drunk men to call you Jezebels, no lung cancer from cigarettes and factory smoke, no IRS or IRA, nothing - just you and Tommy.

You and Tommy laid on his bed, in each other's arms. Since his bed was high-key smaller than a twin, it was pretty cramped, but neither of you minded. You two were smoking (him a cigarette and you your Elf bar), reminding you of that one band Cigarettes after Sex and how Tommy would've liked them, but they wouldn't drop music for another couple years in this time zone. 

You two talked softly as the rain patterned on the window's glass, some of the street lights peering through the curtain. If there was some incense on, it'd be a vibe. You originally thought his opium pipe was an incense holder but you were very mistaken. 

" - so yeah, that's why people picked team Jolie. But in all honesty, I feel bad for Jennifer, you know? Like, he literally cheated on her. Over what? A fucky boof ass movie? It was ass," you hit your Elf bar, refusing to accept it was dead. "I guess it doesn't matter now, cause NONE of them are together anymore. So what do you think? Aniston or Jolie?"

He took a drag of cigarette as he stared at the ceiling. He made an unsure face. 

"I'm not familiar with them."

"True. Fine, let me think of something you'd know. Like something English drama," you thought. "Okay, team Blur or team Oasis? I hear there was a lot of blood shed during the battle of Britpop."

He again took another drag of his cigarette. Anyone would be looking at this and thinking he found you hella annoying, but he didn't. He just genuinely thought you had a great imagination. 

"Neither, I guess. I don't have time to listen to music."

He was right, which was why he loved when you sang at the pub and most of all, to him during your private Lana concerts. 

As time went on, you were in DEEP. Scotland? Yeah never heard of her. Not only were you working for Tommy doing whatever bookkeeping is, but he had even introduced you to his family, which you KNOW damn well is a sign that shit is serious. 

You loved the Shelby's, even though they were a bit off their shit sometimes. But it wasn't anything new, you'd been well familiar with crazy families before. You loved talking shit with Polly, going to the 'cinema' with Ada, fucking with Arthur until he got mad, supplying John with his toothpicks and making little Finn believe in the fake number 'derf'. You got along with them well, they saw you as a perfect fit for the family - something different, vibrant and bright! You loved them and they loved you! Polly would even tell you in confidence that you made Tommy a happier person, something he lost after the war. Getting Polly's stamp of approval was literally it, that's all you needed. 

And you and Tommy? Yeah y'all were a thing. An item. During work hours he'd give you little looks here and there, and so did you, as if it was some secret office romance. But it wasn't secret literally everyone knew you were his girl. And that's power. 

You learned the ropes pretty fast, again it wasn't your first rodeo in the mob. It was like Colombia all over again, but we don't talk about that. Tommy fucked with you having a secretive criminal past, he thought it was pretty hot. 

Besides bookkeeping, you still worked in the bar. All the patrons loved when you sang Lana, it just went on to prove that she's indeed a poet. They eventually memorized them and sang along, which annoyed you sometimes cause you just wanted to hear yourself and they sounded like ass when they were drunk. But you just go along with it! 

Some of the songs you in the pub (and Tommy's room) sang included:

Bartender (cause hello? You're LITERALLY at a bar)

Shades of Cool (for Tommy's big blue ass eyes (you wished they could hear that guitar solo cause the acapella didn't do it justice :( ))

Cola (singing this for the fist time made you realize you had to censor a couple things, they weren't a fan of that intro)

Stargirl's Interlude (Lana's part obvi, but it's again for Tommy cause he's your starboy <3 he loved when you hit those high notes)

Brooklyn Baby (you avoided it cause it reminded you of your ex)

Video Games (hello it's for Tommy)

Love Song (this makes them all cry)

Money Power Glory (again hello it's Tommy, but this wouldn't hit until he's a member in Parliament)

National Anthem (being in England for so long made you forget the United States anthem)

Fucked My Way Up To The Top (literally you rn)

Speaking OF a bunch of drunk men, the gang loved you. You thought you were like the comedic relief of the little theater thing they had going on here. You had to admit, you admired the method acting everyone had done so far. It only, to you, proved that it worked, since you were GENUINELY left in deep in a psychosis where you're just a 1920's flapper girl. 

There was some rules and etiquettes you needed to remember, however. One, was of course, the "BILLY FACKIN KIMBA", and another was you finding out Tommy did NOT fuck with brujeria or anything dark magic related. You thought it was kinda funny, he reminded you of those Reddit r/atheist accounts but at the same time, he was low-key scared of zodiacs. Not that he didn't like it, he was paranoid at them. You literally asked his zodiac sign and he responded very sternly and seriously, 

"Y/N, don't."

You then said. "That's a very Capricorn thing to say."

Besides that, everything was great and chill.

It wasn't long before this annoying ass Irish inspector dude pulled up to the pub. Once he saw you, he locked eyes with you and approached the bar. You didn't like his vibe in the slightest. In fact, no one in the pub liked his vibe either. They all fell silent when he entered. 

"Excuse, me, ma'am," he said. You turned, not really wanting to talk. 

"Yeah, what?"

"Do you know about a Thomas Shelby?" 

"Yeah, what about him?" you didn't fuck with anyone who referred to Tommy as Thomas. Like?

"Do you know where I can find him?"

You were really starting to not fuck with his vibe even more. Something was def fishy. 

"You should really go back to being with the dinosaurs," you said. He didn't like that. 

He leaned in. "Do you know who I am? Who do ya think you arrrrrre?" the R's went very crazy. 

And just in time, as if he was your guardian angel, Tommy opened the doors to the little room beside the bar. Babes was hearing everything and he was NOT gonna let this dude talk shit to his girl like that. 

"You need to speak to me? Inspector Campbell, is it?" he said. "I've read about you in the papers."

Tommy then took Campbell soup outside to speak. Before leaving, he (Tommy) gave you a wink and you winked back. You knew that was code for 'let's hit my flat later'. Little did you know, this would be the last time.....

P.S. - when you asked one of the men at the pub who he was and someone replied IRA, you originally interpreted that as the Irish IRS and shat yourself. You didn't know how to tell Tommy your time was ticking, they'd located you - but you were not going down without a fight. 

You were both in his bedroom as usual, he was lying in bed smoking, you were hitting the Elf bar, rain pattering, English people yelling outside yeah you get the vibe. Anyway, he asked you to sing - a request you took quite seriously. You knew this was his only time of relaxation and you had to make the best of it before you break the news you needed to escape again.

You rose, sitting up and looking down at his BBL face. 

"Lana or Nicki?"

"Lana."

"Can I do Nicki? You never ask for her."

He took a drag and nodded. "Go ahead."

This, now this would be where you fucked up. Let's just say, you wish you could wipe out this night from your memory. Alas, all things need to come to an end, even the good ones, unfortunately. You'd never thought it would be like this though tbh. 

You stood up on the bed, as usual, cleared your throat all that bullshit. You thought and thought, "what's a good Nicki song? What's fitting?"

And then it hit you - it was definitely a deep cut. 

He had a soft smile on his lips, watching you as you were thinking. Little did he know, you were going to harness a part of yourself you hadn't seen in a while. This was a mode you unlocked that was such a release after, and you knew you had to go all or nothing. 

You cleared your throat. 

"Okay, so this one's kinda not AS well known, but it has British themes I think work well," you prefaced. "Okay, here I go."

The moment you opened your mouth, you let the spirit of Nicki come in. And once she's in, there's no going back. And Tommy was not prepared for that. You then started Nicki's verse in Sean Kingston's "Born To Be Wild".  

"♪ If you will die, then why would you try and if you reply, a suit and a tie is what I will buy then you will be mine because you and I were born to be wild, I am Martha you King Arthur who knew you would land me, I’ve been known to eat these rappers, cook em like chef Ramsey - ♪"

You were too deep to notice Tommy's rapid increasing worry and fear as you spat out those lyrics. It was too overstimulating for him to handle. You ate, but that was just want concerned him - he didn't know you were rapping. In fact, no one at this current time did. 

" ♪ - Mission accomplished, your my accomplice cover of vogue yeah ima go topless ima go bonkers ima go crazy ima get reckless then have a baby then hang the baby off the balcony teach him to moon walk tell em he's Japanese - ♪ "

No, he thought you were putting a curse on him. No, he was CONVINCED. 

"Stop! STOP!" Tommy rose from his bed, pushing the sheets off of him. 

You were shaken out of your trance, confused. You became worried, what happened? Did you miss something? Were y'all in danger?

"Wait, Tommy -"

"Enough! Stop!" you had never seen panic in that man's eyes. Never. And you didn't like it. He was looking straight at you, talking to YOU. 

"Stop what -"

"You're a bloody fucking witch!" he yelled, rubbing his hand through his hair while the other TIGHT on his hip. This was his evaluating stance. "That's what this is - that's what it's been."

"Uh, Tommy," you said, more annoyed that he interrupted your moment, "I'm no witch. I'm just, well, Y/N."

He took a deep breath, now facing away from you. He couldn't believe it. All this time, all that mumbo jumbo that came out of your mouth, all this time - they were just that. Curses. No wonder he didn't understand them, you were literally speaking in tongues this whole time. 

You walked towards him, slowly. This man needed that opium right now. 

"Tommy -"

"Leave. LEAVE!" he yelled, grabbing your messy bun, and doing what you didn't think would happen again for a very long time - he beybladed you. 

Spin. Spin. Spin.

"LET IT BLOODY RIP!"

And there it was. 

And there you went. 

He twisted you in the air round and round, ready for a different kind of liftoff. He flung you out the window, you crashed through and onto the cobblestone streets of Birmingham. 

That was it. All these months, all this rehearsing - it all came to an end. On a random Tuesday evening? The Tommy you once thought you knew was no more - after all this time, he never trusted you? Didn't he know who you were? Like dude he watched you be vulnerable at fuck up a tikka masala. TWO of them at that. 

Anyway, you realized maybe the entirety of UK just wasn't your vibe, anyway. With this 'IRA' now in town, your ass needed to be grass. Before leaving, you broke into his horse racing betting place whatever it's called and committed a little fun heist, taking all the money. What? A girl needed to sustain herself in this economy. Dog eat dog world shit. And plus, all your stuff was back at his apartment and you were DEF not gonna go back. Who knows? Was HE working for the Men In Black? Wining and dining you to gain his trust and he turned you in? Maybe he did you a favor in the end. 

And maybe you could upgrade to the latest iPhone when you got to London with all this horse money? With a shilling and a pound, the possibilities seemed endless. 

You walked down the streets, sad, but again more confused and a little relieved, onto your next destination, wherever that maybe. Anywhere Y/N went, it was all just a big adventure of a girl having fun being, well, just a girl having fun in this world. And THAT'S all that matters. 

Hope you enjoyed!

xoxo, 

~Sam St. Clair

[cupioromantic-simp]

Martin x spiral avatar

“Well it’s like… it’s called Michael but that’s not what that is it’s who he might have used to been but it’s also a real name that is called and when it’s called they’ve’d answer

You know? Like

it’s not it’s name because it is it’s ‘what do they call you’ because it used to be what they’ve’d whold have bean if it was he and he is Michael … does that make sense?”

Martin stands at the counter pouring tea the cup has been long since filled boiling water spills over as he stairs in to nothing not noticing the heater scorching his hand

“Good lord Martin!” you stand and rush over taking the cup and kettle out of his hands “are you okay?!”

The skin on his hand is already starting to blister and bleed

“P-pardon? What- ow oh my god! What’s happened?!”

“That’s not the problem these look like serious burns martin, I’ll drive you to the hospital”

“I- yeah that- that’s a good idea…”

“We should tell Jon before we leave, he’ll freak if we leave without telling him,” you Gide him out of the staff room “you can take a seat and wait for me if you need?”

“I’ll- yeah”

…

Knock knock

“Heyyyyy Jon” you close the door behind you “me and Martin might need the day or so off”

He sighs loudly and you can hear the faint whirring of a tape recorder

“I told you you can’t just take days of to go on dates with martin this is the second time this week and I-“

“No it’s not that, I need to drive Martin to the hospital”

“Why what’s happened? Is it those damed worms again! I said to be careful!” He sighs and mumbles something about how incompetent everyone is

“No, um it’s not that he um- burnt himself making tea spilled hot water on his hand, I was explaining Michael to him and guess he-“

“What?” Jon turns and looks at you

“I need to take him to the emergency room it’s pritty bad and-“

“No no I herd that I don’t care. You were explaining Michael? H-how”

“Well it’s really simple actually if you remember what he looks like it’s not it but it’s them because he is it but it’s not he and vice versa he’s full of nothing and so he’s empty because it’s everything which means they’re are something and they’ve are Michael Because that’s what he’s always been so that’s what it’s not choosing to be, it’s like vanilla flavouring a drop is vanilla and a bottle is vanilla the difference is the concentration even though it’s technically the same concentration the difference is just the amount it’s exactly the same but also extremely different, you understand right?”

He looks just like Martin did a few minutes ago completely frozen in place look around with his eyes trying to calculate something in his head

“I can’t deal with explaining things to you I need to get Martin to the hospital” you walk across the room to the door “huh? I didn’t know where ales to paint our office doors? You made a good choice on the colour though Jon, the yellow really brightens up the room”

Jon perks up “Wait do-!”

You close the door in front of you and turn forward to move to his left you run walk move wander continue stumbling for days which takes seconds to get confudelling to be interested

“This isn’t sensefull” you go in the top of the stairs and turn to you forward and walk out of a painting and are met with a person With curling eyes and panicked hair “oh hello what might you be?”

She turns forward and cocks her head at you “are you the.. thing.. that.. lives? Here”

“Hmm? Do I live or am I just an existence, I think I’m a person I still have existing so I’d say no… so yes I do-not live but I might do it here” your voice comes out crisp and warm like burnt tinfoil you have spoken in a long time so it’s rattling to hear a video and listen to the clear crystallized frames of your voice producing those pictures of words

“Is this it? What door do I take to get out” she shoves a map into you

“Shit! My map! God damn it!” She starts to scratch at your senter trying to grab you out of the map you hold her away from it with your hand

“That’s not vary nice, if you wanted to leave you could have just ask”

“Bloody hell? Fine? How do I leave?” She pops out of nowhere and in to somewhere away

“See all you had to do was ask” you whisper in to her ear

You stand up to the side you head just barely touching the floor no it’s not quite the floor it’s the inside of what what’s you before you whet it

“Ah.. that’s it I’m not Michael.. what am I?.. we should go find out” you walk out of the in and in to the out of the door in the middle of the archives

“Um.. h-hello is someone there?” A voice calls out of a door to and office with the label ‘head archivist’

“If it’s you me.Lukas I-I already told you my answer..”

you close the door and walk out

The man inside stars at you slowly and calls a name

“Is that mine?” You ask

“I-is w-what yours?” He looks around nervously and alert

“My… ‘name’… is that it? Do I own a part of that name, is sounds like a very stupid name,” you repeat the name over and over once

“M-mayby” he seems to be breathing heavily tears stabbing his eyes

You move a finger to his eye he is frozen in fear and you slowly smooth the tear out of his eye with your thumb

“Martin… you should’ve not done that… your much to pretty to be leaking from your eyes…” you stand up straight “hmm strange… how do we might know your name” you laugh like a whiny kicked puppy with four sharp inhales and a soft sigh at the end “how fun..”

White Smokey tendrils form in the corners of the small office as ‘Martin’ stares blankly at you

He sits down in his chair and blows a tendril of smoke of his tea

“Gosh! That’s a nasty burn there! How’d you get it?” He bites his lip and shakes trying to hold back tears but fails miserably as he grips his mug in his hands tendrils of smoke reforming on his tea as more smoke fills the room “what’s wrong Martin? You look upset?”

He shakes in place “leave.”

“Pardon?-“

“LEAVE!” His cup shatters in his hand spilling hot tea onto his hand “fuck!” He runs his hand over his face and chokes back a sob

“Are you alright? That looks like it might’ve been painful if it was hot did you do that on purpose Because if you did it on purpose you shouldn’t have done it at all beca-“

“Stop… just leave… please..”

“Hmm.. alright i suppose,” you walk through the wall in to your door “Good bye, have fun without me I hope”

(I fucking live for writing spiral content!)

[emberdew]

Be More Ghost Chapter 1: More Than Alive

Summary:

A Be More Chill AU where Danny gets a Super Quantum Intel Unit Processor (or Squip) to help him become cool and win over Valerie, but things don't really go as planned.

Masterpost | AO3 Link | Word Count: 2,804

Why can’t someone just help me out?  And teach me how to thrive, help me be more than alive.

“C’mon! C’mon!” Phantom flew towards his house, hoping he could get a few moments of sleep but knowing based on how light the sky looked he was likely screwed. 

This was confirmed when Phantom heard his alarm going off next to his bedside table as he dropped into bed after flying intangibly through his window. Sighing as he detransformed, Danny clicked the button to turn the alarm off and silently cursed the Box Ghost for keeping him up all night. 

“If I have to chase you all the way to the docks again, I’m leaving you in the thermos for two weeks,” Danny whispered to the Fenton Thermos still grasped tightly in his hand. He rattled it a few times for good measure before sticking it in timeout on his shelf.

He whipped around when his dad slammed his door open. Jack Fenton was clad in his usual bright orange jumpsuit and spoke with a booming voice. “Good morning, Danno!” 

“Morning, Dad,” Danny said, not matching his dad’s enthusiasm at all.

“Your mom left for the ghost hunting conference last night so I’m making breakfast! Want some Fenton Toast?”

Danny withheld a groan. “No thanks, I can just have cereal.”

“Okay!” Jack turned and ran down the stairs. Danny followed sluggishly behind him. 

In the kitchen, Jazz sat at her usual chair with a piece of Fenton Toast and coffee in front of her as she read her advanced psychology textbook. “Morning, Danny,” she said, not looking up from her book.

“Morning.” Danny grabbed his cereal, poured milk, and plopped into his chair. In front of him on the table was a new invention his dad was working on. He eyed it wearily as he started eating his breakfast.

“Look Danny-boy! This is the Fenton Ghost Freezer! It’ll stop a ghost in seconds at the push of a button!” Jack held up the device and Danny cringed as his dad pushed the button.

The device exploded in his dad’s hands, covering his jumpsuit in greenish-blue goo and ice crystals. 

“Welp, time to change into a new jumpsuit!” Jack carelessly dropped the remains of the device on the kitchen table and bounded up the stairs, leaving a trail of goo and white flakes behind him.

“I wish he would just wear normal clothes instead sometimes. What’s wrong with wearing pants instead of a jumpsuit once in a while?” Danny complained as he watched his dad leave the room.

“You’re really more concerned about the jumpsuit than the invention that could potentially harm you?” Jazz gave Danny a questioning look and put down her book.

“Yes Jazz, I can dodge the gun but not the embarrassment.” 

Jazz rolled her eyes and got up from the table. “Whatever you say.” She put away her dishes and grabbed her backpack. “I’m driving to school. You’re gonna take the usual route, right?”

Jazz made a very unnecessarily exaggerated wink and Danny knew she was assuming he was going to fly.  

“Yup,” Danny rolled his eyes, “cya!”

“Okay, be careful! Bye!” Jazz waved as she left. Danny waved back and continued eating his cereal.

A few minutes later, Jack arrived in the kitchen wearing a clean new jumpsuit the same bright color as before. “Want a ride to school?”

Danny cringed at the thought of his dad driving him to school in the Fenton Ghost Assault Vehicle. “No thanks. I’ll take the bus or walk.”

“Well, you better get going soon if you don’t wanna be late!”

Danny stood up. “Alright.” He slung his purple backpack over his shoulder and headed towards the door. “Bye Dad!” 

“Bye, son!” 

Danny slammed the front door shut, headed to a nearby alley, and transformed into Phantom. He flew to school, glad that he didn’t actually have to worry about choosing between taking the bus and walking. Flying was the obvious choice.

Usually flying helped clear Phantom’s head, but getting almost no sleep and having to go to school made his flight that morning unpleasant. He kept thinking about how he wanted his life to be easier. 

“Maybe if I was cool at school I would at least get some slack. Being a D-Lister is the worst.” He sighed. “Even though I’m the hero as Phantom it just stinks to have to deal with being freaky Fenton the rest of the time.”

He neared the school and dropped to a hidden spot behind a tree and detransformed. 

“I don’t even want to be special,” he muttered to himself as he walked to the school’s entrance. “But I guess I kind of am since I’m more than alive. Or half-alive. Or whatever.” 

Ugh, Danny’s weird half life was just so complicated.

___

“And so Ashley said Gregor told Dash ‘I’ll only kiss you if you beat me at table tennis’ and then Gregor lost the game deliberately!” Paulina waved her hands emphatically to make her point as she relayed the story to her best friend, Star. The two most popular girls in school stood in front of their lockers gossiping before classes like they did every day. 

“Dash and Gregor are both bi? I didn’t know that,” Star said.

“Star, that’s not the point!” 

“Oh right, sorry Paulina.” Star winced. Dash had just broken up with Paulina three days ago and Paulina was definitely not over it yet.

Ashley, who Star hadn’t noticed had been listening this whole time behind them, spoke up, “And then Gregor was all like-”

“I’m telling the story, Ashley!” Paulina shouted as she slammed her locker shut. “Ugh, I hate him so much.” Paulina glared at Dash, who had just arrived at his locker nearby.

Danny walked through the hallway, wishing he had remembered to turn invisible before he started passing by the A-Lister’s lockers. Since he was nervous about a confrontation, his foot became intangible for a second and he tripped into Kwan, the large football player who happened to be right next to him.

“Don’t touch me, freak!” 

“Sorry! Um, I didn’t mean to-” Danny stammered.

Kwan grabbed Danny and turned him around. Danny couldn’t see him, but he heard Kwan uncap a marker and write something on his backpack.

“Don’t wash this off,” Kwan said as he pushed Danny. He stumbled and hit his face against the wall.

Done with bullying, Kwan turned to Dash, who was getting a notebook out of his locker.

“Dash, my man! Yo, what’s the story with Gregor?” Kwan smirked at his friend.

“Oh, I shouldn’t say,” Dash grinned, “but it’s a good thing I’m amazing at ping pong.”

___

Eyes focused on the ground, Danny got away from the A-Lister’s lockers as fast as he could without flying. Once he was out of view he stopped to take a deep breath. When he looked up, he saw a poster that hadn’t been there the day before. He took a few steps closer to get a better look at it.

The poster was bright green. In bold letters, it said: “Sign up for Ghost Hunting Club and get extra credit!” There was a list at the bottom for people to write their names, but no one had signed up for the club yet.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Danny turned away from the poster. He didn’t need to give anyone more of an excuse to call him a freak.

He turned a corner and stopped in his tracks. She was there, just a few feet away.

“Valerie,” Danny whispered. 

The former A-Lister was wearing her usual yellow shirt and orange skirt. Her brown skin looked as perfect as ever.

“Valerie.” Danny couldn’t stop staring at her. Even though she broke up with him just a few weeks ago, his heart still stuttered every time he saw her. Even though he knew Technus had orchestrated the perfect dates he had gone on with her, he couldn’t stop himself from daydreaming about more dates they could do together like getting ice cream at Elmer’s Pharmacy or maybe spending a day at Floody Waters. 

Just picturing Valerie in a swimsuit made his brain short-circuit for a minute. He felt his cheeks heating up so he tried to distract himself by remembering what Spectra looked like as a snot monster, which was pretty effective. 

Danny blinked and looked around. Valerie still hadn’t noticed him, so he took a few more steps in her direction.

“Valerie Gray…” He swooned. He couldn’t help himself, even though he knew she still hated his ghost half. She was just so beautiful with her long wavy hair and her nice hazel eyes…

“Valerie.” He was just a foot away from her now.

“Oh, hey Danny. Did you say something?” Valerie finally noticed him. He jumped in panic.

“I- Uh- Hey…”

“Uh, I think someone wrote ‘BOYF’ on your backpack.” Valerie pointed and Danny saw that was what Kwan had written. The bold black letters were pretty hard to miss, but he didn’t have time to think about his backpack with Valerie standing right there. 

He couldn’t really think about anything.

“Um... gotta go, bye!” Danny ran away so fast he nearly fell on his face. He probably would have if he wasn’t basically immune to gravity’s effects most of the time.

Valerie stared after him in confusion.

___

“Ugh, nice going, Fenton.” Danny facepalmed after he got out of Valerie’s sight. “Real smooth.”

As he started trudging toward his first class, he shook his head. There was no point in dwelling on it. He really needed to accept that he’d never be good at flirting. He was a mess. But maybe if he wrote down his feelings he’d have a better shot? 

Yeah, maybe a romantic letter would work.

Instead of paying attention to Mr. Falluca’s lecture on the flora and fauna of the tundra biome, Danny started writing about his feelings for Valerie.

After class, he had made some progress on the letter but he wasn’t super happy with it. He was reading it over again when Paulina snuck behind him and grabbed the paper out of his hands.

“Is this a love letter for your boyfriend?” Paulina held the letter out of his reach. Danny wanted to fly and turn intangible to grab it out of her hands but he held himself back.

“No, it’s for a girl. I mean I am pan, but- I- um...” Danny studied his shoes. 

“Aw look, the freak is blushing,” Star teased. “Who’s the letter for then?”

“Please give it back,” Danny murmured, still avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah, who’s freaky Fenton got a crush on now?” Paulina leveled a cruel grin at him.

The bell rang, distracting the girls long enough for Danny to grab the paper back using a little bit of his enhanced speed. 

“Gotta go!” Danny scrambled out of the room and into the nearest bathroom. 

Well, that was mortifying. He read over the letter again and groaned. “I can’t do this.”

He lit a ball of ectoplasmic energy in his hands and the letter crumbled to dust. Sighing, he exited the bathroom and headed to the cafeteria.

___

Right as Danny was about to enter the cafeteria, he spotted his best friend’s signature red beret.

“Tucker!”

Tucker turned and beamed at Danny. “Danny! Hey man!” 

Danny rushed over and hugged his friend. Ever since Tucker stopped using Foley, by Tucker Foley Danny had noticed that he smelled... Really nice. He might have hung on to the hug a bit too long, but he was having a bad day and his friend’s embrace was really comforting, okay?

After a few more seconds he finally did let go, feeling his cheeks blushing a little. Hopefully, Tucker didn’t notice. Tucker was still grinning.

“Seems like you’re having a good day,” Danny said. “Listening to Dumpty Humpty again?”

“Yeah, dude! I’m listening to their latest album and it’s amazing.” Tucker tapped his headphones for emphasis. “Also, I just got a new PDA in the mail today and she’s gorgeous!”

“That’s great.” Danny and Tucker walked to their usual lunch table where Sam was already sitting and eating a salad. 

“Anyways, how was class?” Tucker asked Danny as they both sat down.

“Yeah, you look like ass. What’s wrong?” Sam added.

Danny sighed. There was a lot going wrong today. He took off his backpack and set it on the table.

“What does ‘BOYF’ mean?”

Tucker took off his backpack and set it next to Danny’s on the table. His had “RIENDS” written on it in black marker. 

“Oh, it says ‘BOYFRIENDS,’” Tucker said. Tucker and Danny both blushed and looked away from each other. Sam facepalmed, but neither of them noticed.

“Ancients, just because I’m pan and you’re bi it doesn’t mean we’re automatically dating, ugh,” Danny said. He and Tucker were just friends! Obviously! They were really close friends since they had known each other forever. It was normal to think about kissing your best friend sometimes.

“Yeah, they just don’t get that we’re just friends,” Tucker agreed. 

The three sat in silence for a bit as they ate their lunches. 

“Anyways, I wrote a love letter to Valerie during class today,” Danny said.

“Oh, how did that go?” Sam looked up from her salad.

“I, uh, incinerated it.” Danny cringed. “It wasn’t good.”

Tucker patted Danny’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I saw on Discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!” 

“Would being half-ghost count as an evolution? Like in Pokemon?” Sam asked.

Danny contemplated this. “I don’t think so. Being half-dead doesn’t really count as progress.”

“Forget about that!” Tucker said. “Evolution is survival of the fittest, so now we don’t have to be strong to survive.”  He elbowed Danny with a wide grin on his face. “That means there’s never been a better time in history to be a loser! So own it!”

Danny got what Tucker was saying, but he wasn’t really feeling it. He didn’t want to be a loser, because being one really sucked most of the time.

“Why try to be cool when you could be-”

Something caught Danny’s eye. His jaw dropped.

“Signing up for Ghost Hunting Club!” He felt like he should have expected this but he was still surprised. It was her!

“I was going to say getting stoned in my basement but-” Tucker said, slightly confused by Danny’s interruption.

“No, I mean look who’s signing up for the ghost hunting club!” Danny pointed and both his friends turned to look.

“Valerie? She is a ghost hunter, so that makes sense,” Sam said.

“You’re not going to-” Tucker started, but Danny didn’t hear the rest. He was already stepping away from their table. Without a conscious thought, he was already halfway to the sign up sheet.

Danny suddenly didn’t care what people were going to say. Valerie had signed up for the ghost hunting club, so he had to sign up too. 

He grabbed the pen hanging next to the poster and wrote his name on the sheet.

“Freak!” Several A-Listers nearby taunted him. They were laughing at him, just like he knew they would when he saw the sign up sheet earlier. He tried to hide his embarrassment and walked away without saying a word. 

“Are those bullies bothering you again, pal?” A familiar voice popped up next to him as he walked down the hall. Danny looked up and saw a sympathetic grayscale face as his ghost sense went off.

“Nah, it’s fine Sidney. Just the usual,” Danny shrugged, feeling resigned. Sidney Poindexter had become one of his ghostly allies at school ever since they got past their initial misunderstandings. Despite the fact that the ghost came from such a different era, they had a lot in common. “I know I’ll never be the cool guy, but it would be nice if someone could help me out, you know?” 

Sidney nodded. “I know how that feels.” 

The bell rang and students started to crowd the hallway. Sidney waved and disappeared and Danny was left alone again. The rest of the school day passed by and Danny barely paid attention. 

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and Danny met Tucker and Sam by the classroom where the first Ghost Hunting Club meeting was going to be held.

“You don’t have to do this,” Sam said as she peeked through the window on the classroom door. It didn’t seem like anyone had arrived yet.

“Yeah, but we’ll mock you forever if you don’t,” Tucker said, patting Danny on the back. “Good luck, dude.”

“Thanks, guys,” Danny said. “Cya later.”

“Bye!” Tucker and Sam both waved and walked away, leaving Danny alone in front of the door. 

“C’mon, c’mon,” Danny whispered and started to reach for the door. He slowly turned the door handle and opened it.

No turning back now.

[natriae]

chapter 9

<prev | next>

masterlist

3.4k words

"Is he my dad…is that why you called him?" Isa asked in a small voice, like he was scared he'd be yelled at for asking such a question. Isa was smart. You knew that he already knew the answer to his question, but he wouldn't have come to the conclusion himself. Someone told him, and that someone was still making his way over even after seeing Ushijima's nasty face glaring at him. Ushijima was stoic and it was hard to tell his emotions, but if you riled him up enough his eyebrows would draw together and his jaw would clench, unable to hold in his anger.

The two adults looked down at the child in his mother's arms, and you quickly said no out of indistinct. On the other hand, Ushijima calmly answered yes. So he does know. Someone told him too, and you're sure you know exactly who. "Who told you that," you asked Isa, knowing damn well who the answer to the question was; however before the boy could respond, another deep voice answered.

"I did," Sakusa stated, now behind you but to the side. Instead of looking at you he watched Ushijima in nothing but disgust. His voice. You can add that to the list of contrast between him and Ushijima. Although both men were stoic and confident in their actions, Ushijima's rich voice would have a guilt to it if he knew he did something wrong. Sakusa however held no remorse for his actions.

Ushijima's voice sounded like a waterfall that lead into a mystical area of the woods. Cherry blossom flowers falling into the crystal lake, and the most pretty flowers surrounding it. Sakusa's voice now sounded like the broken rocks falling down the hill, and then plopping into the water. The water would drown out the rocks. It was clear. Ushijima would always drown out Sakusa in your mind. Be calm in the pain, and protect you from harm.

Ushijima left a kiss on Isamu's forehead and then yours. Handing you his keys, and telling you to go quickly to the black BMW. "What about you?" you asked, not wanting to be alone.

"i'll be there before you know it," he told you, there was something in that statement that held so much more than what was said. I will always be there for you. I should have told you that a long time ago, and I know I can't change the past, but the least I can do is make up for all the lost time. You turned back and walked to the fancy car that was parked in between two parking spots. Hazards on, uncaring to everyone around it. You unlocked the car and hopped into the passenger seat. Isa was still on your lap with his head now hiding in your neck. His sobs were still strong, and you hoped Ushijima would be quick. So much has happened in such little time, and can't slow down now. You adjusted your arms so that one would hold his back while the other massaged his scalp. Leaving small kisses on the side of his face making sure not to press too hard. Everything will be okay. Let your mom and dad keep you safe.

At the front of the park, once Ushijima noticed the two of you were in the car he looked back to see Sakusa still standing there shaking his head. "I told you to stay away from them," Sakusa yelled. His anger was obvious, and Ushijima knew exactly what to do to piss him off more. He wouldn't do anything terrible to him. He knew Sakusa was able to compose himself enough that he didn't lose his job.

"Yeah, but she called me, so clearly she doesn't want you. She'll never want you," Ushijima stated standing tall, "I got an offer to play in Poland," Ushijima continued.

"Why are you telling me this," Sakusa asked confused.

"because I make much smarter choices than you. In more ways than one," You know she'll come with me. You know she wants our son to be happy. You know she would want to have joint custody. You know she would move to Poland even if she doesn't want to be with me. You know damn well that she will not let you get within five feet of her. Sakusa's face said it all. Ushijima had gotten to him with only two sentences. Turning around, Ushijima began jogging over to his car ready to prove to not only his ex-girlfriend but to his son that he is the man he should be. He will take care of them, and dedicate his whole life to them if that's what it took. If he had to leave volleyball then he would.

Getting to the car he quickly turned over to you after quickly buckling in his seat belt. Your eyes were still watering, but watched him in worry. Years later he could still read your mind, and you could read his. He nodded his head once at you and watched the worry disappear. He drove quickly to the hospital, and before you knew it Isa was admitted to a room to treat his wounds. When you guys were getting out of the car Isa had reached out to Wakatoshi, and let him carry him into the hospital. It was clear how much that affected Wakatoshi. From the outside his face remind unmoving, but if you looked closely enough there was a small twitch in his eye that revealed the love and sadness he had towards his son. That was the first time he got to touch his son. His son was already ten, and he just finally got to touch him. The guilt was eating at you knowing what a big deal that is as a parent. You thought about when the nurse brought you your son. 19 years old. You were 19 years old holding the tiny human you created in your arms. Nothing could ever replace the joy you felt in the moment. Something clicked on a spiritual level when you felt your baby boy's small hands reach out to you, and now 10 years later Ushijima is experiencing that for the first time. You couldn't help but imagine a 20 year old Ushijima in that hospital room with you. Would he have cried? No, probably not.

While waiting outside the hospital room to see Isa you grabbed Ushjima's much larger hand.

"i'm sorry," you said in a small voice. Immediately the lump in your throat built up, not allowing you to continue talking. Your eyes shut trying to stop the tears, and soon enough you feel buff arms wrap around your body and pull you into an even stronger chest. He still smelled the same. Tears started to flow more at the revelation.

"don't apologize. You did what you thought was best," I don't blame you for taking my son away. Knowing how I treated you I would never want to inflict the same pain on our son. Let all your tears out. I'm here now, and I won't let you out of my sight. He lifted your head up and leaned down a bit for his nose to bump with yours. Yeah he definitely got taller, or maybe you shrunk. You let a small smile escape as the tears dropped down your cheeks. He would always do this when you were in highschool. Every panic attack or cry he would move your head so your noses were touching, and you could look in his eyes and see just how much he loves you. The moment didn't last seeing as the two of you were still in public. Your tears started to slow, and you remember that there was still blood covering yours and Isa's clothes.

"i should probably run back to the apartment and get us new clothes," you said looking at the blood covering your shirt.

"I'll do it," Ushijima stated, "you should stay here, for Isamu," he finished. You hesitated thinking about what his reaction would be seeing your sad apartment. He drives a god damn BMW for god's sake, but he made a good point. You nodded your head, and handed him your keys. You told him your address and he walked out of the hospital not before telling you he'll make it quick.

At the apartment Ushijima opens the door to see a small open plan. A kitchen on his right, and a small living room in front of him. The first thing he noticed was the lack of decorations. The complete opposite of the y/n he knew. Your bedroom was always full of some nicknacks, and pictures of the ones you love. Taking a few big steps he was already in the living room, and saw one singular photo of you and Isa. Isa was much smaller and had big glasses that made his eyes huge. He smiled at the picture. You were kissing Isa's cheek while he had a big smile at the camera. A small tear had fallen from Ushijima's eye, and he quickly wiped it away. Turning around, the only thing in the living room was a beat up couch and one small table. To his left there was a door that he was sure led into another room. Opening the door he saw another small, white room filled a little more with small MSBY toys that were clearly from a gachapon. On the ground there was a power rangers coloring book with only 3 crayons. They looked to be from a restaurant. In the middle of the room there was a beat up twin bed. There wasn't any light in the room other than the window. There was a small lamp that was hooked on the wall next to the bed. Ushijima imagined you sitting there reading a bedtime story to an even smaller Isamu. Turning he walked over to the dresser to find several different Sakusa merch displayed on the dresser. He quickly found the trash can and put each different thing in there. Once he was done he opened the drawer to find very limited items of clothing. He picked up a red t-shirt, and then opened another draw to pull out black athletic shorts. Once he was done in Isa's room he walked out and turned down the small hallway. There was a door on the side that opened to a small closet. It had one blanket on a shelf and one pillow on top of it. Below the blanket there was a rack with two winter coats. One larger, white one and a smaller, black one next to it. It only took him two steps to reach the end of the hall. He opened the door to find a bathroom. 'Where do you sleep' he thought, 'and where are your clothes'. He opened the bathroom closet to find your also limited number of clothing folded up on the shelf. Your clothing took one small shelf up. He made a mental note to take you on a shopping spree. While looking for a basic t-shirt he found a familiar purple shirt folded up and seemingly hidden. Pulling it out he saw the 'Men's XL' on the tag, and when he was unfolding it he saw the big 'Shiratorizawa Boy's Volleyball'. This was his shirt. He spent years looking for it, wondering where he could have misplaced it, but all of that time spent was a waste because you took it with you. He smiled at the shirt, and left the apartment to head back to the hospital.

Once he arrived he noticed you were now in the hospital room holding Isa's hand. He contemplated knocking on the door or just walking in. It was now an open fact that he was Isamu's father, but he was still technically an outsider. Choosing to knock in the door he waited until he saw you signal him in through the glass. Walking in he held the clothes in his hands waiting to hand them to you. You immediately eyed the purple shirt lying under the much smaller items of clothing. Oh, he found it. You stood up and walked over to the man grabbing the clothes. Your demeanor has become much more awkward. You didn't know how things would go now that Isamu knew that Ushijima was his father.

When you first walked into the hospital room. Isa was lying on the bed with an eye patch, and a large band-aid on the side of his face. He turned to you, but waited till you got closer because he still couldn't see well. Seeing that it was just you, panic flashed through Isa's eye and his first question was if Ushijima had left. You shook your head no and grabbed his hand.

"momma…you're not mad at me right," he asked, not looking at you.

"Of course not baby. I'm not mad at you at all," You said while brushing some of his hair out of his face. You guys had continued to make small conversation till Ushijima had knocked on the door.

Ushijima took notice of your awkwardness, and thought it would be best to leave. Nodding his head once at you he turned around to walk out the door. But the sweet voice of his baby boy stopped him.

"dad…" Isamu called out, looking at Ushijima. The small boy looked over at you to see your panicked face and immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry i-i mean Mr. Ushijima," He said looking back down at his hospital gown.

Ushijima had turned towards the small boy and told him, "I don't deserve the title of dad yet, so let me work for it. Only if your mom is okay with that," At his last sentence he turned his head to you. He saw your face contort in thought and your mouth open slightly. Unable to believe everything that was going on.

Once your brain had caught up you had slowly nodded your head. "Good, now Isa, may I talk to your mom in private. I have somethings I need to apologize for," The little boy smiled and nodded his head once. Ushijima nodded his head once and began walking out of the hospital room into the hallway.

Your brain started lagging again seeing just how similar the two were. Seeing Isa jerk his head over to the door you quickly speed walked into the hallway. Ushijima had quickly gotten on his knees mid hallway and brought his body low to the ground to apologize. Still panicked, you looked around the hallway to see that yes Ushijima was in fact doing this in public, and everyone can see, and two, you brought such a large man to his knees. You decided you will take this as a small win.

"y/n, I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. If you give me the chance I promise I will be the best boyfriend. I want you to call me toshi. Hate me, please do. I deserve it, but please just let me prove to you I've changed. I will quit volleyball if that's what it takes. I've gone to therapy, and I've worked on my emotions more. Please," If he had lifted his head off the ground you would have seen his flushed face and the tears fall from his eyes. "There's so much I want to share with you and tell you. I want you to watch me grow, and I wanna watch you grow," Your heartbroke a little at his statements finally realizing just how much pain you caused him. That morning both of you remained with a missing piece in your hearts for 10 years, and if it wasn't for Isa you're sure you would have stayed stubborn and never heard his side of the story. "I spent years looking for you. I went to your parents house everyday for two years, but then Tendou told me I should move on... Did your parents not tell you?" He finally looked up and you could see his red eyes. All the emotions he had been holding in are finally being let out. Getting down on your knees too you grabbed his face, and explained to him that your parents cut off contact with you after they found out you were pregnant. They too didn't know where you were. You could tell there were too many thoughts going on in his head for him to handle, tears fell out of his eyes every few moments and he kept looking away from you. His deep voice no longer held confidence, but it was shaky. The fallen rocks had built up and began to block the water fall from flowing freely. "There were so many rumors about you, and I had to listen to so many people tell me such terrible things about you," finally looking into your eyes he said, "I'm sure you can guess who was the biggest one," his Adam's apple bobbed before he could continue. "So I convinced myself we never broke up, and the only one who fed into my delusions was Atsumu. He believed we would get back together," You hands tightened on his face so he had no option, but to look you in the eyes. You couldn't believe how much everything has destroyed him. Everyone successfully broke the one man you thought couldn't be broken. He looked like a kicked puppy. His big boba eyes stared into yours, and you could tell that he meant it. He doesn't lie. It goes against his morals. Leaning in you gave him a small peck on his lips.

"jima," he perked up at the name, and the little emotions inside your head went haywire, "i need to know, are you mad at me for not telling you about Isamu,"

He shook his head back and forth with your hands still holding it. "you did what you thought was best for your son, and that's all that matters to me,"

"our son," You corrected. He nodded his head once and brought his lips in to hide his small smile.

The two of you stood up and you wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. At that time the doctor had come over to tell you Isa could be discharged as soon as you paid the fees for the visit. Walking over to the desk the lady had told you the total for the visit and the stitches. You couldn't help but widen your eyes at the price. Ushijima took note of this and immediately stated that he would pay. Grabbing his hand before he could reach for his wallet you let out a soft no that you knew would be more than enough to convince him. Handing the lady your card, you bit your lip trying to think of a way you could pay your bills and not be thrown out of your apartment. "Miss, I'm sorry but your card declined. Do you have another," Taking it back you quickly grabbed your credit card for her to use. She swiped the card and immediately made a sorry expression. "this one won't work either. Usual credit cards don't work if you didn't pay for your last spending amount," Your bank had made accommodations knowing your situation, but it seemed they had enough. Embarrassed, you took the card back. He had already seen your apartment, but the last thing you need is your ex, or whatever he was now, to see just how poor you were. Ushijima quickly handed the lady his card. His black card. You had to quickly remind yourself that you will not become Ushijima's sugar baby. Even though it sounded so good. If possible another wave of embarrassment washed over yourself. He probably has never had to use food stamps before. Once the lady handed him his card back he grabbed your hand, and began to walk back to Isa's room. No words were spoken between you guys till you got back to the room.

"Isa and I should probably go home now," the little boy shuddered, probably thinking about how his room was decorated with stuff that would remind him of the man he was now scared off. Noticing this Ushijima was quickly reminded of how he threw most of the merch into the trash can but not all of it.

Without thinking, Ushijima asked, "Would you two like to come to my apartment? I have an extra room." Right away Isa perked up at this and started shouting 'please's at you.

Looking at Isa while he pleaded at you, you couldn't believe your day was just about to get longer.

" I guess so," you said quietly. In a much contrast to your voice the 10 year old boy let out a loud yes.

tags: @mineta-phobic @rukia-uchiha-98 @ssc7514 @megumuro

one more chapter guys 😭

[soobjvn]

TULIPS 🌷⁎︎° ✳︎ CHAPTER 25 : “ what a coincidence! ,, ( smau + written )

— cw: none afaik

[ prev. ✧︎ toc. ✧︎ next. ]

“UM, GUYS WHAT’S this?”

“yeonjun, i’m driving. i don’t feel like risking our lives to look at a tiktok again,” soobin replied, keeping his eyes on the road.

“very funny. i’m not talking about a tiktok, soobin. i’m talking about kai’s post.” he shoved the screen in soobin’s face.

“you are so lucky we’re at a red light, you freak.” soobin snatched the phone from yeonjun’s hands to inspect the post that was seemingly more important than their lives. “so… what’s the issue?”

“lemme see!” beomgyu chimed in from the backseat, taking his turn at grabbing the phone. “wait, yeah, what’s wrong? of course kai would bring them to the fair.”

“well yeah, i just… i dunno, i guess i just wasn’t expecting her to be there.” yeonjun watched as soobin gave beomgyu a knowing smile through the rearview mirror. “wait, did you guys know about this?”

“no!” they both responded in unison, making beomgyu giggle. “what a coincidence, junnie!”

“you guys suck, you know that?”

“what, now you don’t wanna go?” soobin asked, turning into the fairground’s parking lot. “alright, everyone say a prayer there’s an open spot.”

“of course i wanna go, but…” yeonjun sighed in defeat. “what if it’s awkward? guys i think she’s mad at me or something… what if she just doesn’t talk to me?”

“first of all,” beomgyu started, holding up a finger matter-of-factly, “what could she possibly be mad at you for, huh? have some confidence!” he gave yeonjun a pat on the shoulder. “secondly, she doesn’t really seem like the type to just ignore your existence. she couldn’t, anyways; we’ll all be hanging out together. she doesn’t have much of a choice.”

“oh great, so she’s forced to hang out with me.”

“can you shut up, my god- ooh a spot! thanks guys, your prayers worked.”

“yeah, no one prayed pal. that was all you,” beomgyu leaned back in his seat with his hands behind his head. “anyways, to complete soobin’s thought, you’re being annoying. just talk to her. ask her, if you’re so sure she’s upset with you.”

“yes. exactly what i was gonna say,” soobin agreed. “pull the stick out of your ass jun, we’ll have fun. you’ll have fun. with yn. chill out.”

“yeah, okay.” yeonjun ran a hand through his hair, and checked his reflection in the car’s mirror. “y’know, you could’ve told me she was coming so i’d put more effort into my appearance. or put on my good cologne.”

“ewww,” beomgyu faked a gag and soobin laughed. “you’re so… crush-y.”

“yeah alright, gyu. we all know you have a fat crush on win-”

“aaand, who’s ready to have some fun, yeah? woo! fair!” beomgyu nearly tripped as he quickly scrambled out of the car, leaving yeonjun and soobin to trail behind him. they watched as he purchased cotton candy at least two times the size of his head, not even five minutes after stepping foot in the fair.

“he’s an idiot,” yeonjun scoffed.

“yeah, not hard to miss that.” soobin put an arm around yeonjun’s shoulder. “hey, we can work on him and his crush after we get you and yn together, yeah?” soobin couldn’t help but chuckle at the redness that bloomed on yeonjun’s ears at the comment. “i’ll take that as a yes.”

TAGLIST 🌷 @bangchansbae @raehyun-byeoll @yyawnjun @junhuicosmo @n034sy @wintertxt @fanfangying1304 @crystal-jellies @gyuszie @lightprincess-world @hyuneyeon @tocupid @cookiehaos @222brainrot @choi-beomgyulvr @hyehae @yunwonie @you-make-skz-stay (bold couldn’t be tagged)

— pssst, feel free to use my asks / comment here if you’d like to be added to the tag list <3

A/N 🌷 fully written ch tmw!! + yn and yj finally meeting again gasp

[nonbinarykai]

Why I don’t think the ninja are going anytime soon.

Spoilers for dragons rising obviously

Listen I’ve seen a lot of concerns and rumors going around that ninjago is going to get rid of its main cast. And while I’d understand out of context why people would believe this. I want to list out all my possible reasons for why this WONT happen

This is a bit of a long post so, buckle up

It doesn’t line up with the ending of crystallized

Think about it. Don’t you think it would be a little weird if lego basically forced the writers to make the ending of crystallized return everything to the status quo, only to immediately throw that all away?

Yes I’m aware that the current view of lego as a company is not that great atm. Mostly in due to those fake leaks that basically portrayed lego as the big bad villain behind crystallized poor writing.

But I promise you, lego is not that bad. Sure there has definitely been some conflict between the writers and lego in the past. But if you look through what Tommy said in his post leaving q&a’s, it seems like most of the poor writing decisions were made by the writers themselves.

And example of this: changing oni Lloyd from having a big significance to only having 20 seconds of screentime. We kinda assumed that this was due to lego. However, Tommy claims that the reason oni Lloyd was on a thrown in his set, was because the set was based off of that early draft of the script. Which mean that lego must have been okay with it enough to make a set out of it. Which means it’s more likely oni Lloyd was a result of the writers choices.

However, there was one change that we know lego Forced the writers to include. And that’s reintroducing Nya and bringing her back. This was CONFIRMED by Tommy to be the case.

So then, isn’t it extremely weird that after lego forced the writers to bring Nya back, Their suddenly asking/okay with her leaving again?

And sure you can argue “oh but it looks like Lloyd is training Arin and Sora!” And sure that might explain why they can’t get rid of Lloyd.

But Nya and Kai have only had brief appearances. And as some people would suggest, means they don’t have that much of a role to play.

So couldn’t have nya stayed gone? What’s the point of putting so much effort into killing nya then brining her back when it would have been easier to just, leave her dead.

That is unless, lego does want to keep the original ninja around for the new series!

Same goes for things like garm and harumis redemption arc (atleast I hope that’s what it is). Lloyd still not having control of his oni powers, the ninja losing their own powers, the new ninja, etc. There’s to many loose ends that haven’t been properly tied up, in fact their just beginning.

In fact, if dragons rising really is supposed to retire the ninja. Then why not just make crystallized an actual finale?

A lot of the criticisms for crystallized was that it just returned the status quo. Why would they do that if crystallized was meant to be the last time we see atleast some of the ninja? Wouldn’t it be more impactful to show how the ninja move on from being ninja?

It contradicts the quest for lost powers entirely.

Seriously, why would the book even need to exist? The whole point of the book is to show the ninja getting their powers back (and in the case of kai) becoming ninja again. Why would that be necessary to show at all if the ninja are going to be out the door anyway? In fact, leaving it at just the ninja losing their powers in crystallized would be a great reason for why they would retire. The book kinda contradicts that.

Obviously, if there powers weren’t important in the next series then their wouldn’t need to be a book. The next series takes place after a time skip and deals with the realms merging together. That is ALOT of new information crammed into like 10 22 minute episodes. It would make sense to make a book explaining how the ninja got their powers back so that the show doesn’t need to explain for us and just get right into the mix.

If they think it significant enough to have to explain why the ninja have their powers back, then I think it’s safe to say that the ninja themselves are significant to this new series.

The book also took steps to try to canonize things like Kailor, implying that those things also needed to be explained before the series came out so that the series doesn’t have to waste time on it. So we might be seeing plot threads relating to the ninja as well.

What about the side characters?

Not only would it be insulting to just, get rid of the main characters that people have loved for over 10 years. But it would be borderline cruel to have the side characters not to have ANY send off.

The side characters are directly tied to the ninja. They don’t have any relation to Sora and Arin. So if the ninja go, there’s a likely chance the side characters go as well.

But the side characters haven’t gotten any send off, not from crystallized, not from the books, nothing.

Would the writers really be bold enough to get rid of all the side characters without giving them a proper send off? I don’t think they would.

Doc has shown alot of love for the fandom and the show. And we know some of the new writers actually like exploring the side characters.

Plus it would really piss of the fans, I’d imagine that lego is smart enough to not do that.

The marketing implies otherwise

Yes I am fully aware that marketing is often misleading and doesn’t always fully represent the series. But I think it’s important to dissect what we do know and how lego chooses to market the new season.

First and For-most: Arin and Sora aren’t really that involved in the sets. Or Atleast not compared to the ninja. The ninja have multiple sets with their names on it. While Arin and Sora seem to just have two, one for each. Also in the leaked Lloyd mech, Arin has a noticeably smaller mech. Implying that he’s not as important as Lloyd.

If the show is trying to have a fully fresh start, it’s a bit weird to have the sets convey the opposite of that is it not?

For those that don’t already know, dragons rising is the name of the whole series. Unfortunately, we’re no longer getting season titles anymore.

So it’s important to note: on all the dragon rising merch we see right now, the ninja are the front and center and the new characters are in the back.

So why in the world would lego promote the ninja as the front of the whole SERIES, only to have them show up in one season and then leave. That doesn’t make much sense.

And while most people brushed off the dreamzzz teasers; I want to mention something that I think is extremely important.

Lego is using the ninja for advertising.

That might not sound weird at first, but really think about it.

Lego is not only ACKNOWLEDGING that yes, the ninja are extremely recognizable and important, but also directly using them confidently to promote other series.

So lego is not only recognizing that the ninja are marketable, their doing so with the confidence that it can be used to boost their new series.

It would be an extremely big risk then, to get rid of that marketability in favor of new characters. Especially right after the friends reboot and before their introducing a new series. Ninjago has kinda always been the “safe show” for lego when their other projects were just picking up. Currently lego is taking a big change in its new themes, they’d obviously want something to relay on.

Next gen does not mean we’re losing the old gen.

I’ve seen a lot of people get concerned that since the Netflix series said that Sora and Arin are next gen. That the ninja are going to leave.

But, next gen does not necessarily mean that the ninja are leaving.

For example, lord and Garmadon are multiple generations before the ninja. Yet they’ve been with the ninja for almost the entire series.

Lloyd is significantly younger then the other ninja. Yet he didn’t replace any of them when he joined. He just became apart of the team.

I think that’s going to happen to Sora and Arin. I think that we’re going to start seeing the ninja have to take up a mentor position and how that changes the team dynamic.

And this isn’t really new, it happened with Lloyd, Nelson, Jake, and plenty of other kid characters. We’ve also gotten plots about wu dying and Lloyd becoming a master since s4.

I THINK what is most likely to happen is that wu and maybe Misako dies. And Lloyd has to step up and run the monastery. This way, the amount of people on the main cast stays the same, so it won’t get to crowded. But the dynamic changes enough to be new.

It doesn’t seem to match Doc’s direction for the series

There’s a reason why I call doc the “anti Tommy”, and that’s because he shows so much respect towards the show and the community.

The ninja aren’t just characters we love and enjoy. Their also characters that he loves and enjoys!

Doc has been on the series for awhile now. He’s probably grown attached to these characters even more then us. I find it hard to imagine he would let that go. Especially now that he has a chance to find a way to make the ninja new and interesting!

Look at these posts, does this really seem like something a person who’s not planning on expanding on the ninja would reblog.

The show is changing but that doesn’t mean it’s losing what made it great.

Yes, I won’t lie. The show is indeed going through a massive change right now. We’re going to get a new ninjago, both in terms of the show itself and the setting.

Doc does want to take the series in a new direction, that’s why he’s introducing these new characters.

But that doesn’t mean we’re getting a fresh new slate.

After all what’s the point if we could get a new direction with the ninja themselves?

The ninja have been the same for 10 years, some characters get lucky and are able to have arcs that impact their character, others (like Kai) are not.

The sad truth is that, the show can’t stay one way forever. Crystallized kinda proved that. Crystallized gave us what we wanted. It gave us the characters, it gave us the villains, it gave us the call backs and the Easter eggs. But when it came out, we still hated it. Why? Because the show was to scared to change. It was scared to keep Nya dead, it was scared to keep Lloyd and oni, it was scared to stray away from llorumi and say it was bad, it was scared to address the ice emperor. It was scared to address Kai’s feelings about his sister dying.

Crystallized stood there and told us that “no matter what happens to the ninja, things will stay the same” and we HATED it for it.

WE, AS A FANDOM, have been basically begging the writers to do something new with the characters, to take the series in a new direction. I feel as though it’s a bit cowardly to back out of that now that things are being changed. If we want the show to be better, we have to first acknowledge it has to change.

And you know what? If the new series sucks. Then it sucks! It’s not like simply changing the setting of the show will change the writing flaws in it.

But we’ve already spent years following this show even though most of us agree its poorly written. Why don't we just stick it out another month or two and give dragon rising a chance, even if there's a very small possibility the ninja might not be in it

who knows, maybe we'll find something we like.

[storytowrite]

When Fire meets Ice

Part 4

Paring: Hyunjin x Felix

Genre: BL

Word Count: 1249

Warnings: the content in this story may be +18, please consider it before reading; slight Minsung moment

When the cold hearted Prince of Fire meets sweet little sunsine, The King of Winter, everything changes.

Authors note: that’s the first BL story I have ever written in my life. I hope you would enjoy it. It’s not a long story it’s divided in six parts. There’s no Y/N here. The story is about Hyunjin and Felix. I was inspired by one TikTok I saw in winter.

<------------------------------------------>

Han was walking around the cold palace. He didn’t see the same beauty as Hyunjin. The whole building rather scared him than amused. Hyunjin has always sent him to do the worst, in Han’s mind, job. But he had no choice. It was better to just complete the task that Hyunjin asked him to do, than to defy him. When angry, The Prince of Fire was unpredictable.

Han stopped his walk, when he met another dead end. He looked around and suddenly felt lost. He didn’t know where he actually was. He lost his way back once again. The heavy sight left his lips.

“And look who we have here.” The sudden voice behind him, made Han shiver. He jumped a little and slowly turned to face the owner of the voice.

“H-hello.” Was the first that came into his mind. He was looking at the same man who welcomed them before.

“What are you doing here, hmm? Spying perhaps?” He asked, looking suspiciously at the smaller man.

“What? Spying? No! I would never spy! In fact I was just admiring the interior design. Yes, yes it’s really beautiful interior design. The whole palace looks more like a museum than…” Han started everything that came into his mind. He spoke very fast. He was looking at the man both frightened and intimidated by his presence.

The man standing in front of him raised an eyebrow and looked at Han a little entertained. It was the first time he met someone as scared and fast talking as Han was. He was curious what other surprises the smaller man had. He tilted his head a little to the side and smirked.

“Slow down sweetheart.” He said nonchalantly. “I’m Minho by the way. What’s your name?” Minho stepped a little closer to Han, who instantly stepped back, which caused his back to meet the cold wall behind.

“I-I’m Han, Han Jisung… but mostly people call me Han and…” Han looked at Minho with wide, doe eyes when Minho bent over him. He swallowed a big gulp that had formed in his throat. His breath immediately felt heavier.

“Shhsh.” Minho put an index finger on Han’s plump lips. Han’s cheeks started to instantly redden. “You talk too much, you know?” Minho’s voice was soft. He leaned over Han a little more and whispered in his ear. “But I think I like it.” He bit Han’s earlobe softly, which made the smaller man quietly whine.

“Minho, stop scaring our guests.” The men suddenly heard the tired voice of someone behind them. “Leave him alone. The dinner is ready and everyone’s waiting.”

“We’ll get back to that later.” Minho whispered to red-faced Han and stepped back. He turned around to face the man, who disturbed him and his new toy. “Why do you always destroy the mood Chan?” He asked.

“Minho, we’ve been talking about that. You cannot…”

“Yeah, yeah old man, I know.” Minho rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just go to the dining room, okay? The dessert you can eat later.” Chan said and turned to face the stairs, Han didn’t see before. His body was shaking after what he experienced.

“Oh, believe me Chan. I’ll eat the dessert with the most pleasure.” He said, winking to Han and followed Chan’s steps. Han blinked, looking after them. It cost him a lot to gather his gut and follow to the dining room.

—---------------------------

The dining room was big and bright, with a long, dark table in the middle with heavy chairs around. The walls were high with big windows, shaped into snowflakes. At the ceiling there were crystal chandeliers and gold ornaments. In the middle of the table there was a much more massive chair than the others. In the chair sat Felix, and right next to him, to the right of his most important guest, Hyunjin.

Han took his seat immediately as he entered the room. He didn’t expect Minho to sit right next to him. He swallowed hard, making a small sound, which drew Changbin’s attention, who was sitting opposite to him.

“Han? Everything’s alright?” He asked, a little concerned about the younger man. “You look terrified?”

“Hm? Yeah, yeah, everything's okay Binnie. I think I’m just… just tired.” Han stuttered a little, when Minho’s hand landed onto his lap and squeezed him a little.

“Yeah, you need sleep. The beds here are actually the best thing ever!” Said Changbin, didn’t pay much attention to his friend.

“Yeah, they are very comfortable.” Minho whispered seductively towards Han. “You’ll love them. And not only the bed…”

“Minho…” Chan, who was sitting next to Changbin, sent a warning look. “That’s enough for now, don’t you think?”

“Again Chan, you are destroying all the fun.” Minho rolled his eyes but didn’t continue. His hand was still resting at Han’s leg.

“Let the dinner begin!” The majordomus announced the beginning of the meal and opened the heavy door. The servants entered the dining room with trays and platters. The food was finally served, smelling better than the guests from the Fire Kingdom have ever imagined.

“Please, help yourself.” Said Felix towards Hyunjin, who was looking at the food curiously.

“It smells just good.” Said Hyunjin. “And looks very elegant.”

“It’s just food my Prince, you are supposed to eat it, not look at it.” Said Changbin, putting mountains of food on his plate.

“Forgive me for his behavior… It’s so… ugh.” Started Hyunjin.

“It’s alright. He’s just hungry I suppose. After all, you spend a lot of time in the carriage.” Felix smiled softly towards Hyunjin. “How do you find your bedroom? Is it comfortable enough? That’s the best I have for guests and…”

“The bedroom is very good, thank you, your grace.” Hyujin said, taking a sip of wine. “I haven’t tried the bed yet, though.”

“Please, call me Felix…” The King looked at The Prince and smiled.

“Of course, Felix” Hyunjin repeated his name, putting a strong accent on it. “So, tell me, what is the reason you invited me here?”

“I already told you. I think it's high time to reconcile our kingdoms anew. So that we can renew trade relations and more....” Felix started. “I am aware that our history is not…”

“The history of our kingdoms is difficult. A lot happened in the past, between our fathers, and then between your father and me. I'm not sure it can be fixed yet.” Hyunjin looked into Felix’s eyes. “But I guess we can just try…”

“I would like you to tell me what exactly had happened before. I won’t have a solution if I don’t know the truth… My father didn’t say anything about the past and I also couldn't find anything in the history books.” Felix explained.

“Hm… I have an idea then. How about I’ll paint you and then I’ll tell you about the past? Will you sacrifice one day for me?” Asked Hyunjin, resting his head on his hand.

“Paint me?” Felix asked, surprised. “But wh…”

“You just look too stunning to resist it.” Said Hyunjin boldly, which made Felix blush. “If you agree, I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“O-okay.” Felix agreed. “You can paint me…”

“Perfect! Come tomorrow before breakfast to my room, your highness. I’ll set everything up.” Hyunjin smiled at the young king and stood up, so as did his companions. “Oh, and Felix? The dinner was delicious. Goodnight.” He winked and slowly walked out from the dining room, leaving the King and his friends alone.

<- Part 3 | Part 5 ->

-> Masterlist

-> Main Masterlist

[call-me-tk]

Beetlejuice the Musical - an Analysis/My Favorite Parts

Prologue: Invisible

“Grown-ups wanna fix things. When they can't it only fills them with shame, so they just look away." 

The Whole “Being Dead" Thing

TRUMPETS

“Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein”

"How you doin'? Oh, not good! *scats*"

“If you die while listening to this album, it’s still gonna keep playing”

“Blah blah Bible Jesus Magic”

DIES IRAE

Ready Set, Not Yet

THE FAST BITS

When Adam waits a beat after his fast bit before saying “ready set” because he’s not as confident as Barbara ahhhhhhhh

When Barbara sings the word "terror" like "terra" 

“Hiding away so you don’t have to face being a bad mom” whoever wrote these lyrics is so mean

“Oh… NO”

The Whole "Being Dead" Thing: Reprise

The pause after “Hi!”

“Jesus I can’t spell”

“Eh, worth a try”

“I’m the bio-exorcist, giving houses enemas”

Dead Mom

“Daddy’s moving forward, daddy didn’t lose a mom”

“A plague of mice, a lightning strike, or drop a nuclear bomb”

Fright of their Lives

“Drop your panties”

“No. What fills you with RAGE”

“Being mean to a pet” MOOD BARBARA

BJ’s soliloquy, he’s so over it, so DRAMATIC

“WHY GOD SLASH SATAN”

“Uch, these dopes are both hopeless”

Ready, Set (Reprise)

You can just SEE the shoulder bump with “I’m sure we can haunt our own halls”

“I gotta get right outside my comfort zone” 😬

No Reason

“What’s happening, GURL”

“Buy more crystals”

The windchime during “put a little alright in the world”

“Where good people die” “NO”

“Cuz you’re bored” FLUTE SOLO

“Meaninglessness and alone” “NONONONONOOOOOOoooooo~” the talent it takes to pull off that vocal riff is ridiculous

“Is this still about me?”

The harmonies in the last note

Invisible (Reprise)/On the Roof

“Somebody’s on the roof” always has me cackling

“I, Lydia Deetz” *BIG SIGH* “will be gone”

“I’M GONNA HAVE A NEW BEST FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEND”

Say My Name

The musical style?!?!?!?

This is my favorite song in the entire show. And it was not an easy choice.

“What?” “Nothing”

Nice Moana reference

“Beetlejuice?” she says, like “what a dumb fuckin name”

LYDIA’S WHOLE SECTION LET’S GOOOOOO

Including the music change

BJ being like WHAT and SO frustrated every time she psychs him out

In the production I saw Lydia said “I just metcha” and I like that better

“I may be suicidal but Beetlejuice it’s not as if I’ve lost my mind” OOF

“That was possession” lol he’s so proud of himself

Love love love the rhyme: “Pretty much, any ghost’ll do, sure” “Then Beetlejuice, what do I need you for?” and the subsequent WOAH WOAH WOAH

The instrumental hit right after she sings “Yeah I got game” is my favorite 

This whole song just slaps idk what else to tell you

Day-O

“I’d have to… check my pay stubs”

“Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy” as he pops up out of the table he had to hide in the whole scene

Dad finally saying Lydia’s name as he’s swept away

“It’s our house now, kid”

Girl Scout

“Ooh~!”

The piano during “my heart is defective” A+ score writing

“Still”

*dramatic music* JAMBOREES

“Whee!”

*nervous laughter after meeting Lydia*

“By selling cookies *BIG BREATH* four dollars a box”

Also. FOUR DOLLARS A BOX?!??!?!?! Jealous.

“Pedophiles” 😇

That Beautiful Sound

“He is so weird”

Love the smooth jazzy style

“Time for a few OH MY GOD”

“How many… people… live here?”

Lydia’s laugh after “nice moves Lydia” is so pure

“Pfah, holy moly, lotta people come to this house”

“Yes, I hear that sooooooooooound” he’s so happy

“No more condescending adults hanging around”

“Daddy’s leaving me the hell alone”

Barbara 2.0

“It’s the stuff of our lives, and all of it’s shit.”

“Okay, that wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be.”

“Buhreak it”

“The new Adam is wiserrrrrrr”

Harmonieeeeees

What I Know Now

“I went to parties a lot…” *sniff* “You know?”

“Niche was right, you know? To live is to suffer, bro”

“Life is short but death is super long”

I really like this song because if you ruminate on it long enough it’s a good song to talk you into living life to its fullest even if things suck.

Home

I love that this is a reprise but also the whole theme of Lydia’s character - that her mom is home. But then she finds out that she can have a home with a (very dysfunctional) family and not forget her mom either.

Her little laugh when she says Delia’s name

Creepy Old Guy

“I’m a creepy old guy!!” 

“Girls may seem disgusted, but we’re actually just shy”

Shoobedowop

In the show I saw, Lydia goes: “Even on the inside, he- he’s disgusting” which I liked better than the recording

“A dance break on an album? Amazing.”

“L’chaim” is pronounced correctly, thank you Alex

“God be glorified” in a fucked up key

The whole company going “I can’t believe some cultures think this kind of thing’s alright” in unison

Jump in the Line/Dead Mom - Reprise

A perfect song to end a perfect show.

“I adore huh”

“Mama if you’re listening, doesn’t this just blow your mind?”

Shake shake shake senora in the background UGH MY HEART

DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN GO HOME

She’s home (I’m not crying you’re crying)

Overall thoughts:

Alex doing the Beetlejuice voice throughout THE WHOLE SHOW

The rhyming throughout the whole musical is just. A+

Lydia’s songsssssss

Honestly all the vocal parts are real hard

And so is the book for the pit

There’s like 8 different genres of music throughout the show and it just WORKS

I had no idea this show existed until the start of this year and now it’s in my top 3 favorite musicals. 10/10 amazing incredible perfect