#and i STILL have more to say

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Marina, Polin, and the False Narrative of Good Intentions

or: Fanon has Failed You

we're taking a real deep dive, babes.

bring a snorkel

Episode 1:

We are introduced to Bridgerton, Lady Whistledown first. She has the very first lines, talking about the new debutantes coming before the queen. Penelope expresses immense nervousness about this, even after Prudence faints and she writes of the blunder in her sheet, likely grateful she doesn't have to spend too much time on herself when she can highlight Prudence's fainting. In the very first mention of Marina, it's a conversation between Portia and Lady Cowper, about how Portia is taking Marina, a 'distant cousin of my husband's' in as an act of 'charity'. LC replies that she has always been quite charitable, which Portia exclaims is what Lady Whistledown should have written about, instead of 'erroneously writing that she shall only have three ladies under her care.'

That's when Penelope comes to Portia with a plea, using Marina's upcoming arrival as an excuse for her to defer.

"Unless you should like to have only 3 young ladies under your care, I should gladly sit this season out." "Penelope is nervous" "I am not nervous, Mama-" "What she is is two stone heavier than she aught to be." Phillipa: "Mmm, those blemishes on her face are quite difficult to conceal. Perhaps some lead and arsenic would help" "Should you allow me to defer but a year, just as Lady Bridgerton has done for Eloise, I may remain dedicated to my studies"

she is denied. Portia dismisses Marina to Lady Cowper, talking about how she couldn't be competition with her daughters. Marina walks in and Penelope, as though in relief, says "Oh, she's beautiful."

Because Penelope, as of this moment, only sees Marina as a tool with which to get what she wants: invisibility. We know that's what she wants based on her and Eloise's conversation in the daffodils, in which she tells her

Penelope: "No one truly notices me. I suppose that is what I like. When you are invisible, you can have all the amusement you want without any of the expectations popularity brings. It. . .frees you.” Eloise: “Do you think that is why Whistledown remains anonymous?” Penelope: “Perhaps.”

Lady Whistledown and Marina, in this moment in time, have the exact same purpose: they serve as shields. Shields that keep Penelope from being seen, from being noticed, and hopefully to give her more time. Penelope is grateful for this, LW starts taking shots at the Queen by taking shots at Daphne, saying she was falling from the grace of being named the diamond. Instead, she thrusts Marina to the forefront of the ton, declares her the true diamond, and sits relatively gratefully through Marina's flurry of attention.

Until it comes to Colin. The scene in the Featherington drawing room in which Colin comes to Penelope after calling on Marina and says it's a 'most dreadful sonnet indeed', to which she quips her famous 'Lord Byron he is not', thus making Colin laugh before he bids her good day, and she looks at him on his way out. This has often been discussed as a scene in which Penelope is starstruck that she made him laugh, but I propose something else.

This?

This is a look of concern and sadness.

What Lady Cowper had said had been foreshadowing, now Marina is literal competition for the center of Penelope's affections.

Which, let's give him some POV here

Let's talk Colin

Even in episode one, Penelope at the ball was watching Colin, a look which is mirrored later on by how Colin looks at Marina for the first time, asking who she is. He quickly joins the dance floor right next to her, clearly curious. Curiosity is a huge part of Colin's character that often gets overlooked, in fact. His wanting to travel is rooted in it. His room is FULL of Greek mythology, the first place he visits is Greece. Colin is drawn to Marina's newness, and also how pretty she is. He likes her pretty naturally. And she also clearly likes him. Even after the other suitors slough off, Colin stays.

Marina isn't pretending, here. Look at her. She finds him funny, he's turned toward her. We find out later that she's been there for about a month, at this point. As far as Marina knows, she was sent there against her will, because she doesn't WANT to be with Portia and her snooty high society attitude. Even still, Colin acts as reprieve. He comes to visit her and cheers her, she likes a lot about him, in fact, as we learn later, but let's go back to episode 1, the now.

And then we see Marina accept (and mourn) the fact that she's pregnant.

This is why she didn't come to the Vauxhall Ball, claiming illness, and Varley brings Portia the clean sheets. Portia goes to confront Marina, she'd been there for over a month and hadn't bled, accuses her of 'revolting recklessness', says she'll keep it under wraps only so her own daughters won't suffer, and when Marina informs that she doesn't want any of this, in particular her hoity superiority, Portia slaps her.

Slaps her.

As horrible as Portia and the Featheringtons are to Penelope, they have never once laid a hand on her.

Marina is made Other from the first moment she walks on screen. She is unwelcome in the Featherinton house. Even Penelope really only cares about her insofaras she's useful. In fact, episode 1 is Penelope's first taste of what her debut would be like without Marina, and in it, Colin comes to her rescue when Cressida is being mean. Penelope didn't dance at the first ball Marina was at, but she *does* when Marina's gone.

For Marina, this is a horrible night. For Penelope, it's fantastic. Simon and Daphne even became a thing, and Penelope is seen observing them. Not only did she get to dance with Colin, but she also got her gossip. This proves she doesn't necessarily need or can utilize Marina as a shield.

From Episode 1, we see the start of the divide, even before anything else, the show pits them against one another.

Which takes us to Episode 2

We open with Penelope remarking that it is 'disturbing' and Phillipa and Prudence telling on her to Portia by informing that she has questions about Marina's condition. And then

"How did it happen, Mama? Is there to be a baby?"

"Why is Miss Thompson to be kept away?" "Because her condition is catching!" [to which Penelope responds with silent astonishment]

We then have her with Eloise, walking arm in arm as Eloise complains about Daphne and Simon, talking about how being pretty and having nice hair isn't an accomplishment, and that going to university is, essentially: a lament of societal misogyny. Penelope is not only clearly disengaged with her, but even exasperated. Eloise remarks that Penelope did not listen to a word she says, which is true, and Penelope ignores that, too, except to grab her by the elbow, and tell her that she knows someone with child, and that they're not married.

This conversation is comedic, yes, but it's also interesting considering we know Colin and Marina are involved, and that Penelope's curiosity for how Marina came to be with child (outside of the obvious practical reasons for wanting to know for her own sake) doesn't stem from friendship with Marina, but rather desire and curiosity for how it affects Colin.

"She is not married" "How did she become with child if she's not married?" "I do not know. But I will find out." "You must! Otherwise, how can we make sure it never happens to us? We have accomplishments to acquire."

Penelope, even here, knows that they don't want the same accomplishments. There's a rift forming here, too. Penelope is a year ahead of Eloise, already out in society, and she's writing Lady Whistledown. As far as she's concerned, her accomplishments are to get married. Her opinion of being out in society has changed: she still wants to be invisible, but not to stay with Eloise, but instead to continue Lady Whistledown, and perhaps get married. She says so later in the series, in which she tells Eloise that people have mature problems, problems more important than some silly writer, problems like getting married.

But to who?

Three guesses.

Colin's next scene is when Eloise asks how babies are made, to which he gives his classic 'Have you ever visited a farm?' response, and cheekily teases that he and Benedict are off to take their sticks out, 'for a round of fencing!' and once again, though comedic, it's also meant to serve a second function: he becomes a suspect. That's a very dramatic way to put it, I know, but as of now, it's not revealed who the other half of Marina's bun in the oven is, and it very well *could* be Colin.

A fact Penelope likely suspects. So, she MUST know how babies are made, because she agrees with Eloise on this: she does have accomplishments to acquire. I propose to us that instead of the 'Penelope was so selfless! She would have let Colin marry Marina so long as Marina wasn't lying to him and trying to trap him' narrative, something a bit more complicated is afoot

Penelope wants Colin. She knows she can't get involved in his current romance with Marina, but she wants him all the same. The dance they shared solidifies that for her. They're friends, she's been in love with him since she met him, and now she's *able* to get married. And she wants it to be to him.

And all her actions from there are stained with that information, including the final reveal.

It's in the middle of Episode 2, well over a month that Marina's been in Mayfair, that we have our first scene of Penelope and Marina together. We open with Marina reading letters, tearstained in her hands.

She hides them immediately under the blankets and Penelope comes in saying she found some sweets and that Marina might be able to eat them when everyone else was off at the Ball. Marina, gratefully, invites her into the room so that they may share, to which Penelope is clearly pleased.

"I hear they have decided not to send you home to your papa." "I dare say he is relieved. I can only imagine how he will react to- "Your condition? Marina, may I ask- how did it happen?"

Penelope didn't come to Marina out of the goodness of her heart at all. She came to get information. Because curiosity is also an inherit part of Penelope's character, just as it is for Colin. Penelope's reasons for wanting to know are three fold: for the sake of knowing (it's good information to have, knowing how babies are made), for Whistledown if it's a good story, and for Colin.

Marina goes on a beautiful story about George, and we, at the same time as Penelope, realize Marina is still in love with her soldier boy, who she believes is in Spain, and in a moment of immense trust, passes the letters to Penelope for her to read.

But Penelope is only relieved. It settles two of the three, clears Colin from being the father and provides her good information for Whistledown, which she doesn't get publish, likely realizing that all the secrecy means it's a big deal, but she still doesn't know how one comes to be with child.

She laments this with Eloise immediately after. Snarks that Marina said it was 'Love' and Elosie informing that made no sense, to which Penelope agrees, saying her mama had 3 children and love had nothing to do with it. Eloise then asks, in a moment of empathy no one else has granted Marina,

"Well, what else did she say? Was she not frightened?" "More. . .sad, than frightened. But there may be a chance for her to have a happy ending yet, I suppose. She wants to escape to the country where she and her love may marry."

At this, Penelope is happy. She's glad that Marina will be out of the way and also that Marina will get to be with someone else. She isn't cruel, she wishes Marina well.

She just doesn't wish Marina well with Colin.

Episode 3 has Penelope running mail errands for Marina since Marina's in confinement. With no letter in hand, she delivers her the bad news, to which Marina clearly is despondent, wondering when a letter from Spain would arrive. Penelope soothes her by informing that he's on the front lines and it's difficult for letters. "If your love is as great as your previous letters state, surely he will write back to you soon. Or perhaps even better, he is already on his way back to you here, to come and take you home."

Penelope takes on her mother after she's caught with Marina and scolded, saying that Marina's been there for ages, and it isn't fair. She leaves, and Portia insists that Marina find a husband. There is no choice for denial, here, Portia makes that clear, and Penelope takes the news unhappily from the door.

Looks like she isn't out of the woods, yet.

Because even underlying Penelope's compassion, there's a second motive. Penelope is just like Portia: she wants Marina gone, too. She just has a different, very contrasting way of accomplishing that goal, but she's making strides toward it.

She writes of Marina rejoining society, that she will be at the new exhibit. When Portia tries introducing Marina to an older man, she silently pleads for Penelope to help her and she tries to come to her rescue. In the end, Marina tells him off herself, and Penelope and Marina are united against Portia. As of now, there is nothing that really contests them. Even still, Marina acts as something of a shield for Penelope, something she is sure to notice. With Marina in the house, Penelope receives less of Portia's cruelty, and even when she's scolded, Marina gets worse of it.

As of now, Marina and Colin were a brief flirtation that took place at the beginning of her coming to Mayfair. She enjoyed his company, but she's also not suffering without it, clearly uninterested in rejoining society or getting a husband who isn't George. Being pregnant has given Marina a new dream: one in which a man she loves will return from war to help her raise their family. Even if she was open to a new love at the start of the season, she clearly doesn't care or wants to find a husband who isn't George. She tells Portia as much, that she will not bow down to Portia's schemes. She has a man who loves her, and she intends to marry him.

Portia is the instigator here, even though fandom has made Marina the villain. PORTIA insists Marina go out in society. PORTIA writes the fake letter. PORTIA is who twists Marina's arm, verbally and physically abuses her, and locks her up until she can foist her onto some decrepit man and be done with her. PORTIA is who speaks aloud Marina's doubts of George not loving her back because he hasn't sent a letter to her.

Even though Penelope and Portia's goals are the same, their methods are MILES apart. Penelope *does* have compassion for Marina, wants her to have her love story with George, and she tries to help her because she recognizes it as the path of least resistance. Portia meddles far too much, which is her downfall every time.

When a 'letter from Spain' arrives, Penelope brings it to Marina and nervously asks what it says. She's excited for the confirmation that George loves Marina back and that he'll come to take her away or marry her. When Marina falls heavily to the bed, crying, Penelope asks if he'd been wounded. Marina tells her that he pretends there was nothing between them, that he desires nothing to do with "our- my situation."

Look at the expression on Penelope's face, here.

As Marina sobs, wails, Penelope picks up the letters to read them for herself and Portia congratulates her and Varley for their efforts, justifying that Marina had to learn the truth of men, eventually.

And then we're halfway through the season

Marina starts this halfway point as a new woman. When she mourned the idea of George, she mourned a failed love story, and she also mourned herself. When she said 'My situation' she accepted that the only person who would truly help her out of this is herself. She's inspected by Lord Rutledge terribly, he asks to see her teeth as Portia gives an elevator pitch, essentially making it seem that Marina was defective but, look, she has some good parts, too! Marina informs that she's had suitors calling all week (so we return to the romance situation at the beginning with a wide net) and Portia informs they'll take too long, considering so much time has passed. That she needs someone who won't ask questions when a baby comes out 3 months early, even if they married her the next day.

Obviously, Marina's in a horrible situation. This is nightmare levels of awful. She's been abused in so many ways, treated terribly. I don't think anyone could blame her for being upset. Penelope asks her if she'd like her to stay in, but Marina refuses, and Penelope doesn't push it. [Sidenote, this is also when Albion Finch comes to call on Phillipa, and we see Portia 'rewarded' (in her mind) for her efforts in keeping Marina out. She tells Mr. Finch that Marina isn't taking visitors, but he informs he's here to see Phillipa, to which Portia expresses wonder. To her, where her entire motivation is getting her daughters married, having seen Marina as an obstacle in such, she is vindicated through this]

Penelope and Eloise have another conversation, in which Penelope listens to Eloise talking about the house being abuzz w/ Daphne's prospects, to which Penelope says 'well, she *has* to marry eventually' after Eloise says she wishes Daphne would stay on the shelf forever so that Eloise doesn't have to be next in line [Eloise seeing Daphne very similarly to how Penelope saw Marina, in that way]. Eloise laments that she wants to fly, then praises Lady Whistledown as a brilliant woman of business, praise Penelope soaks up.

Penelope guides Eloise away from her attempts to rope her into schemes unmasking LW (who we now know is Penelope herself) and Eloise says she can tell her Mama she's sick and that she's caught what Marina has. Penelope informs that Marina is recovering, and that "It would be cruel of me not to be by her side when she comes back out. I shall cheer you on your endeavors, however."

The question is: has Penelope truly formed a friendship with Marina, or does she have a second reason, once again, for being beside Marina and keeping an eye on her when she re-enters once more?

Well, it surely means nothing that the next scene is Penelope and Colin having yet another moment. Surely.

Marina, being dangled about and clearly unhappy on the floor. Penelope, looking out to the ballroom. Colin comes behind her, to her delight, and talks about the host being fussy. "Do you think if he goes to bed, we all have to leave?" he asks, making Penelope laugh and clearly glad that he did so. To Colin, he likely imagines this to be the end of the correspondence, but Penelope surprises him. Like the first time, she opens up to him, shows him her wit, and they have a moment of snark, looking at each other for a beat too long after he compliments her with 'What a barb!'

Who breaks the moment? Penelope does. She doesn't continue. She doesn't take the compliment and run with it, she doesn't prolong the conversation. She looks down, and Colin changes the subject, sensing she's perhaps uncomfortable, or at least done with the moment, and says he's been trying to get in front of Marina all night, and Penelope says all Marina's interested in is a swift rescue, which inspires Colin to go after her.

This is their first moment together since her confinement, we know since he asks how she is, and from jump he gives her an out from a man who treats her like a piece of meat, and he makes a joke right away to ease her. Colin here is exactly to Marina as Colin was to Penelope when Cressida threw her drink on her: he's the knight in shining armor, and he likes it that way. Charm dialed up to ten, he and Marina re-hit it off immediately, and she's grateful to him. Tells him to spin her off and maybe she'll recover.

And Colin does. He spins her over and over again, in circles around the entire dancefloor, and Marina smiles, and Marina grins, and Marina laughs, something we haven't seen her do since she's thrown in confinement.

Can we blame her for wanting Colin? For falling for him? Very often we talk about how he was her only option, but the truth is that Marina liked Colin from the start, and she likes him here, too. She just found out that a man she'd been in love with is forsaking her, wants nothing to do with her. She's been inspected and slapped and degraded. And Colin is kind. Colin is genuine and earnest and fun. Colin brings her to life, again. She gushes about him to Penelope as soon as they're home.

And Penelope hates it.

Her problems are not that Marina is trapping Colin. She doesn't care about the logistics of the ruse. She tells Marina anyone but Colin. It isn't that Marina's pregnant, and it isn't that Marina lies.

It's that it's Colin. Penelope wants Colin and Marina wants him, too.

And that brings them back to where they started. It didn't matter what empathy and compassion they'd cultivated: Penelope is not Marina's friend. Penelope had *never* been Marina's friend. She was her ally insofar as Marina was going to live a story that left Penelope free for her own happily ever after with Colin, and as cruel as it is, it gives Penelope DEPTH. She is not just an altruistic darling willing to watch a man she loves marry her cousin. She does literally EVERYTHING she can to keep it from happening. That's her motive. He's her motive. It's Penelope's love for Colin and her hopes that they can be together that leads her to expose Marina.

In this conversation, she tries anew. Her hopes on George now dashed, and the confinement period over, Penelope tries to sway Marina by making Colin seem like a bad match. She can't think of negative qualities to counter Marina's compliment-fest (kind, funny, excellent with children), but informs that Colin is too young to marry. That she needs someone to propose soon. And Marina says he's not like other young men, that he's eager, that he saved her, that she thinks he will propose soon.

What Penelope never says is that everything Marina thinks of Colin, Penelope already knows. She knows Colin is funny, and kind, and an accomplished dancer, and excellent with children, and that he saved her, too, at Vauxhall, and that Marina opened up to her so she'll open up the same but she doesn't: she never once tells Marina that she loves him.

Because Penelope is not Marina's friend. But Marina *is* Penelope's. She says she'll be able to stay in town, gleeful that since Penelope is close to Eloise, so they will remain friends, as sisters. Marina doesn't see the secondary motives in Penelope's actions, trying to steer her away from Colin, nor does she assume anything of Penelope. How could she? Penelope has been nothing but nice to her in a house of cruelty. Penelope doesn't deride her, Penelope doesn't hit her, and Penelope helped her with George.

But Penelope doesn't want her there, same as everyone else in Featherington House. And she doesn't necessarily want Marina to be happy. She wants Marina to be out of the picture. She'd prefer if that was with her happy, but she doesn't need Marina's wellbeing. Just her absence. Or, at the very least, she's going move bitch, get out the way.

She begins thinking of how that will happen immediately after Marina leaves. She paces her room until Eloise throws rocks at her window, and this is when we get their fight.

Eloise comes with a theory about Lady Whistledown , going on and on about what she believes, and Pen cuts her off.

"Eloise I do not care! People have real problems, mature problems, problems that have nothing to do with the secret identity of some silly writer." "And you are so mature now?" "Well I am of age, I am out in society, therefore I have more important, mature things to worry about." "Like what?" "Like marriage," "You should not care about marriage.: "What if I do? I cannot expect you to understand, not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton!"

Eloise runs off and Penelope immediately regrets it, because her fury isn't at Eloise, but rather projecting her frustrations at Marina and Colin's blossoming relationship at Eloise. When Penelope says she cares about marriage, that is only a half truth. She cares about marriage to Colin. Very specifically to Colin.

Episode 5 sees more of the same. When Colin comes to visit Marina, Penelope is displeased. She looks on as Colin brings Marina flowers, and Marina finds them beautiful. This is not a woman who would humbly have allowed Colin to marry whoever would make him happy, a selfless woman who had nothing but the best intentions toward Colin and Marina's love story.

She doesn't care if Colin would be happy with Marina. She wants him to be happy with her.

And listen to me very clearly: I like her more for it. Yeah, I said it. Oh, it would be easy if Penelope was a sweet darling, an innocent doll who tragically falls on the sword, wanting nothing more than for her dear friend to live a beautiful love story with someone who would appreciate him. No. She believes, knows Colin would be happier with her (and, ultimately, she ends up being right in that regard) and she wants him to be with her, not with Marina. This is not an excuse for Penelope. She doesn't do good things. Her intentions are not noble. What she wants is self-serving and how she goes about it is underhanded and secretive and manipulative. And I. Like. Her. For. It. Enough of the narrative that Marina was a villain, an antagonist in Penelope's love story.

Penelope was the antagonist in Marina's.

But she is also the hero in her own. From the very beginning, the narrative made it a one or the other situation. Even when they were friends, they weren't really friends. But through it all, Marina had no idea.

Because Penelope never told her.

She spoke in circles, said Colin loved to travel, encouraged him to do so in front of Marina, said Marina didn't like tomatoes when Colin joked that he'd bring her some as a surprise to break up the monotony of bouquets. Both Colin and Marina are surprised that she's saying anything in this scene, Marina moreso than him, because she thinks Penelope is her friend and would encourage this. Penelope knows how much Marina likes Colin, and how important time is with her situation. Marina gives her the 'girl, what are you doing????' face when Penelope clearly encourages Colin to travel. Colin informs that some things in London he'd want to see more than the world, and looks at Marina. They share a moment and Penelope rushes off after her mother for Plan. . .is it D, at this point? Plan D.

Penelope recognizes Marina and Colin like each other, so she goes to her mum. asks if it's a smart decision. She feigns caring for Marina. That she is ONLY worried because Colin is young and he's years off from marriage (which she doesn't really believe, or she wouldn't be saying anything) and that Marina simply doesn't have that kind of time.

It does what she wants. Portia comes to Marina, doubling down on Lord Rutledge, saying she has until Saturday to accept his proposal. Marina refuses, clearly disliking him, and Portia admonishes her.

"Is this about Mr. Bridgerton?" "He likes me! He will propose to me, I'm sure of it." "That boy is barely out of leading strings, he has two older brothers and they're still running from the yoke. You are to cut Colin Bridgerton immediately, or I will lock you in this very room until Lord Rutledge makes you his wife."

Marina's smart, she makes a deal. She recognizes how a marriage to Colin could do a world of good for Portia's daughters, and she pleads for just a few days. Before Saturday. That he would propose. And it's only now, in this moment, that Marina makes a plan that has anything to do with Colin. Only after already liking him and envisioning a second chance romance with him, and having a good life with him.

It isn't that Colin's her only other choice. Marina had several unhappy choices. But Colin is the choice she *wants* to make. She has a time limit now, hence the deception, but it's rooted in her attraction to him. "You will seduce him." is what Portia says, but for Marina, it's not as dramatic as all that. She already likes Colin. and Colin already likes her. So maybe they speed it all along, but it's not made through falsification.

But for Penelope, who listens at the door, this is now the proof that it's becoming serious, and that this plan, too, won't work.

Plan E, it is. Chuck her off to anyone new. See what sticks. She points out multiple men at the next ball they're at as prospects. This is Marina's face when Penelope described him as pleasant.

and then that another has kind eyes. To which Marina replies, honestly, rather relatably. That she doesn't know them or care about any of them, and that she's looking for Colin.

Only now. In the middle of Episode 6, just about at the 11th hour, does Penelope ask Marina not to pick him. This is the first time. That she can do this to anyone else. She attempts Plan H: a plea for morality. That she doesn't want him to be tricked and deceived. That she's known him forever. That Marina shouldn't do this to a good man, but Marina asks if Penelope would rather she marry a bad man, then.

And the truth is, Penelope would. Penelope would rather that Marina marry a bad man than marry Colin, Penelope would rather Marina do anything rather than marry Colin. Because this entire situation is all born because Penelope loves him.

This is her way of fighting for him. It's not her way of being altruistic, it's not her way of wanting to help him, it's her way of ensuring her own happily ever after. And no, that's not a 'Penelope is such a darling angel baby' take, but it IS a human one.

And the worst of it is that Marina would have backed off of Colin if Penelope just said something earlier. Think about how their friendship was. Penelope could have informed Marina that she liked Colin when Marina was gushing about George. She could have opened up. Or when Marina was getting suitors again after her re-debut in society. Marina was rife with suitors. She liked Penelope. But Penelope never spoke up. There was an entire month and a half Penelope could have talked to Marina, and then another in her confinement.

But Marina only realizes Penelope doesn't actually support her after Penelope says not to do this to a good man. That Penelope isn't happy for her in the least. She assures Penelope that she'll be a good wife to him, that he'll be good to her in return, and that, really, it isn't Penelope's business. Which it isn't except for the fact that she makes it her business. Lord Rutledge gets engaged, and Colin becomes Marina's last way out. But, let's be real: he was was also the only one she wanted to entertain.

Oh, my sweet, darling baby boy. Earnest describes him to a T. He doesn't know he's the rope in Marina and Penelope's tug of war (hell, Marina doesn't even know someone else is pulling for him), and he gets denied a narrative in so much of this. When Marina says she's feeling faint and to find someplace more private, Colin doesn't even THINK she has alternative motives. He's concerned, takes her to a different room.

Watching this scene, you see how utterly endearing he is. He leaves the door open until she encourages him to close it, which he does post haste. He smiles at her and keeps a respectable distance. He's truly been raised to be a gentleman, and he clearly respects her. When she says they shouldn't be alone together, he finally realizes what she wants from him. When she takes a step toward him, it's subtle, but he leans back. Gets nervous. Steels his face, drops his expression. When she goes in for the kiss, he makes a few minute jerks forward, for a grand total of 2 and a half seconds, and then cuts it all off.

"You are a Lady. I must maintain your honor. And mine. No matter how. . .tempting, otherwise."

Marina, after hearing this, is stupefied. Tells him he's right. That she's a lady. She's unmarried. And he is. . .a gentleman.

And she knows Penelope is right. That he's good. She just didn't know how good Colin actually is. And in this moment, she accepts her lot. She walks away. Her last chance, her last option, and upon realizing that Colin is kind and earnest and a good, honorable person, she agrees with Penelope. She doesn't want to lie to him, to trick him, she's about to let him go. But Colin offers her to marry him, and she accepts.

Because wouldn't you? Wouldn't anybody?

Hell, her exact words are "I would be delighted to marry you." and she means it. Not as a last resort, but genuinely. We don't do Colin enough justice in this romance.

He goes on about how their long engagement is romantic, that she deserves a grand celebration, and you can tell she enjoys that, but also that she knows she'll never have it. This is where she realizes how different they are, that he's a dreamer and she's a pragmatist. And that she'll have to change his mind but can't ask for it outright.

Marina has affection for Colin. Even in season 2 we can see that, when she rightfully tells him they're in the past and that he should focus on those in his life who already make him happy. How could she not have affection for him when he's genuinely so fucking good?

And speaking of, the way he defends her to Anthony still remains one of the hottest scenes Colin takes part in. When he says he's marrying Marina for love, and not because he compromised her, he means that. When he calls Anthony an ass for insisting he go to brothels and that his interest in Marina is just lust, he's genuinely offended. Anthony says that Violet is distraught and that he won't give Colin his blessing,

"Sorry to disappoint you." "You have. In so many ways."

Colin goes to see his mum immediately after. He takes her hand and, without saying it, he all but screams 'why don't you see me?' Reminds he was courting Marina all season after Violet says she was glad she knew before Whistledown. That she was too wrapped up in Daphne to notice.

Colin wants to be seen, to be taken seriously, and it really is, as of that moment, that the only people who do so outwardly are Marina and Pen. The difference between them isn't down to looks or attitude or anything like that at all: Marina pursues Colin, she makes it clear she's interested, and Penelope doesn't. It's her greatest character flaw and the crux of her story, that she never says what she wants, that she doesn't speak up for herself. Eloise even points it out about her (and you know in friend fights they cut deep). only when she learns to speak aloud what she wants does she get her love story and happiness in society.

Penelope is near in tears when Colin announces his engagement to Marina. But the thing about Penelope is that she's persistent.

As she walks in to Marina, Prudence, and Phillipa talking about how all their fortunes are about to change with the new engagement, Penelope snarks 'Especially Colin's' to which Marina replies by complimenting her, saying she looks lovely. Penelope replies not to mock her, and Marina says

"Do not mock me." "It pains me you should think every compliment a mockery." "Do not pity me either." "I do not pity you, Penelope. I respect you. You have been a true friend since I arrived here, and I rely on your continued friendship and sympathy." "My continued silence, you mean? You think so little of me I cannot bear it. I never would have made my way through this awful tangle without your kindness. Please, do not tell me you regret it." "I would never bring scandal to you or our family if that is what you ask. But I cannot condone your actions." "I want you as my friend, Pen. Can you not try to understand and be a little pleased for me?"

Marina leaves for her modiste appointment and Phillipa talks about how they'd make beautiful babies together, to which Prudence laughs and reminds that he's not the father. Penelope snaps at them, saying Marina makes a fool of Colin already, but

but

does she not do the same to him when she outs the information later on? I like Penelope, and I ship Polin. In fact, I ship Polin exclusively, in the sense that I don't actually ship Colin or Penelope with anyone else, but this entire season is proof of Penelope's fuck ups with Marina and with Colin, both, and her justification for her actions, a thing Portia also does. She goes deeper and deeper into her disregard for Marina. Marina wants Penelope as a friend but Penelope doesn't care about Marina to that extent, even from the beginning. As Portia and Marina become more entwined in their joined ruse, Penelope sets her hopes on Violet noticing that Marina is pregnant, but Violet does her best to welcome Marina to the family, wanting to do right by Colin.

So, there goes plan G. Dire straits, then. Penelope finally has a moment alone with Colin. I've talked about the scene in which she tries to 'tell him' in a different meta, and this is already so impossibly long, but long story is that Penelope still doesn't say what she really means here. There's a narrative that Colin doesn't listen to her, but all season he listens to her. And all season, she never says what she actually wants to. When she tells him that Marina loves someone else, Colin assures he would be a hypocrite if it mattered to him that she had a romance before him. (good for you, bb boi) She doesn't tell him Marina's pregnant, which she writes in LW later on, but skirts around the subject until those precious few moments are gone.

And she lies. She says Marina loves George, still, but Marina has accepted that George wants nothing to do with her. Whether she loves him or not is outside of Penelope's knowledge. She just wants to throw whatever she can at the wall and see if it sticks, see if it breaks the engagement, and still have Colin look at her with fond eyes after the fact.

When Marina discovers them in the hallway, it's hard not to sympathize with her. She's soft when she tells Penelope Portia is looking for her, and she looks so tired. Colin apologizes for Anthony being so rude at dinner, and Marina confides in him. That her own father doesn't want her. That the Featheringtons cannot wait to be rid of her. That she thought she'd find acceptance with his family, but that was a foolish thought.

And she's right. Marina is, for all intents and purposes, fully alone. She has no one in her corner save herself. And save for Colin.

"Even your mother is just being polite." "I shall be your family, now. We shall make our own family, you and me."

And Marina wants that. So deeply, she wants that. With Colin, there's acceptance. She isn't trying to manipulate him, here, she's just hurt. Penelope has her own reasons, she loves Colin, he's a dear friend, and she doesn't want to see him hurt, and she wants him to be with her, but Marina's reasons are also poignant. Colin is the only person who made her welcome in the ton and continues to do so. Once Penelope turns her back on Marina, she just has him. And in his desire to do right by her, offers to elope.

When she says "I love you" to Colin, she's not lying. She's not trying to trick him, as is so often discussed. Is it an everlasting love? No. Is it a nonproblematic love? No. But she certainly loves what he's done for her, how he makes her feel, and she has admiration for who he is as a person. That's love, too.

This is the face of a relieved woman. Not a woman who just lied and schemed reveling in her success. This is a woman looking up to heaven, thanking God for this second chance. Just LOOK at her

We come back to Penelope, then, the day after, who feigns being sick and then runs to ransack Marina's room, looking for George's letters. (so to all the people mad at Eloise for rummaging through Penelope's room, well. . .I hope that same 'it's an invasion of privacy!' applies here, as well) Instead, she finds her duffel packed and knows they're going to elope. She searches more for George's letters and finds them, realizing one is forged.

So, Penelope waits for Marina, in her room, with the falsified letters (Plan I?), to inform her that the letter that broke Marina's heart was a forgery. She has proof that her mama faked the signature. Marina informs that it doesn't matter. George never replied to her letters.

"He has abandoned me. While Colin has embraced me." "I thought you loved him. George." "I was a fool. This changes nothing."

To which Penelope is aghast, watching Marina burn the letters, and when she asks what she'll do when Colin discovers, Marina is truthful. That she will live safe in the knowledge that Colin is a good and kind man, as he has proven to be, and that he'll take care of her and her baby. Which brings us to:

"What of him? What of Colin?"

And do I think some part of this truly is Penelope caring about Colin and his ultimate happiness? Yes. She does want what's best for him, and she does care deeply for him, but the truth of the matter is that in this, she's not doing it for him. Penelope is doing it for her. And that makes it more interesting. At every turn, every single one, Colin shows that he's infatuated w/ Marina. That he loves her, even. Nothing about his actions signify any different. And maybe it's not true love, and maybe it's a bid for him to feel useful, to feel listened to, to be taken seriously, but it's still how he feels.

The only person suffering, here, is Penelope. And Marina recognizes it for what it is. When she tells Penelope that her love is an unrequited fantasy, she has no reason to think otherwise. Penelope never opened up to her, all her criticisms are now revealed as her wanting Colin from jump, and Penelope all but said aloud she and Marina aren't friends. Marina told her to get out of her relationship, and none of us can pretend that we wouldn't do the same. Penelope is acting as though Marina is a scourge on Colin, but all Colin has done is make Marina feel cared for and wanted. We don't give him enough credit, I swear, because the reality is that how Colin is with Marina is a glimpse into how he loves. If he can forgive Marina lying to him for a good reason, he can forgive Penelope lying to him for a good reason. Marina was never Colin's endgame. Not once. It was always going to be Penelope.

And it's to show that Colin is a good man who fights for his partner, who listens, who has empathy, who wants to bring cheer, who jokes, who is wide-hearted and romantic, who puts his feelings in his hands and reaches out palms first. Give him his flowers. He was a real one with Marina. Through and through and he's gonna be a real one with Penelope. A real one to the max. This is Colin's baseline and it'll only dial up with Pen when we reunite in Season 3 but for now-

Marina says she'll be the executioner of Penelope's childish fantasy of loving Colin, but it's Penelope who's the executioner. Because even though she comes running to Eloise, even though she sobs and cries and did so much to ensure what she didn't want to happen wouldn't happen, in the end, ultimately, Penelope chooses herself. She doesn't choose Colin, she doesn't choose Marina.

Penelope chooses Penelope.

And she exposes Marina's secret. And she breaks up the engagement. By force. "Perhaps she thought she had no other option. Or perhaps she knows no shame." which is what Penelope wrote of Marina, also applies to herself in this case. When she sobs with Eloise, she's hurt by what Marina says to her, yes, but she's not weeping to mourn Colin and her one day maybe love story with him. Because she doesn't believe Marina, she doesn't think it's an unrequited fantasy. Why else expose Marina?

No, she's mourning herself. Mourning the person she one thought herself to be, and how that isn't the person that she is, that she would and can use Whistledown to get what she wants, that she has power, and how she would throw her own family and even herself under the bus for just the HOPE of her love story, and that all her intentions of fairness fly out the window because Penelope is human, and she was jealous, and she was mad.

And she continues to be. Further salt in the wound in Episode 7

"Miss Marina Thompson's recent fall from grace continues to echo through every drawing room in town days after it was revealed her engagement to Colin Bridgerton was nothing more than a sham. Of course, a Lady's disgrace does not merely tarnish her own name, like the tars on the Thames, it also leaves a smear on everyone nearby. While there is no parasol in the world strong enough to shelter a ruined woman, the fallen Miss Thompson can only hope she shall find a refuge somewhere."

Y'all

This is mean. This is twisting the knife. Portia knows it's game over. Marina is even refused from a charity room without a considerable donation. She's out of options. And it narrows and narrows around her.

And for Colin, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. He claims Lady Whistledown to publish lies and says Marina must be in agony, that he doesn't understand why he can't just visit her. Anthony informs that BECAUSE of Lady Whistledown, Colin is absolved from being the father, but if he comes near her, they will presume and he'll ruin the rest of the family for it. Even still, Colin goes to refuse, but Daphne interrupts. No one listens to him in this scene, and he's left to listen to how his family will fix what they perceive as his fuck up. He says he's sooo happy it's been settled, and storms off.

Once again, no one takes Colin seriously. He's right to point it out. Not even Penelope, as she took his decision from him just as everyone else did. In a way, Colin is also alone. I think that's what really tugged his heartstrings when Marina lamented no one wanting her around.

Colin's a hopeless romantic. In a way, he fabricated his own love story around what he wanted to hear and know. He says Leander swam each night in total darkness to see his love, and Daphne, now jaded, tells him Leander also drowned. She'll arrange a rendezvous, but she doesn't believe it'll be a love story, not really, not anymore. And Colin even though Colin seemed to be hopeful that it was a lie, when Daphne says that Marina's a stranger and that Whistledown knew Marina better than Colin did, Colin clarifies that Whistledown knew Marina's secrets.

Maybe he already knows it's true, believes it to be, but he doesn't want to see it.

"You must tell me that this Whistledown woman is mistaken, what she wrote, it cannot be true." "But it is." "You are. . .with child? I do not understand. We were to be wed. You- you said you loved me." "Colin, I hold you in the greatest esteem." "Esteem? You are a cruel woman indeed to stand here and talk of friendly affection as if you have not just committed a grave sin against me." "Speak not of sin, Mr. Bridgerton. I did not come here to be shamed by you, nor anyone else. I did not know better. You may think me a villain but I did what I thought I must. No one ever truly helped me or guided me in a different direction. I had no choice. I needed to wed. And you- you were the only man who offered me even a glimpse of happiness." "So I should feel flattered, then? Consider myself lucky that you chose me, lied to me, tried to trick me into a fraud of a marriage? I shall take my leave of you for the last time, Miss Thompson. . .You wish to know the cruelest part of your deception? If you had simply come to me and told me of your situation, I would have married you without a second thought. That is how in love I believed myself to be. But I see now that was all a lie."

This is such a fascinating conversation. It reveals more of Colin than a lot of other scenes he has does. For Colin, it's not Marina being pregnant or having come to the Ton already with child that bothers him, it's that she lied to him. He calls it a fraud of a marriage, says that she told him she loved him, and that he doesn't believe it now. One lie toppled the entire house of cards for him.

Which makes it all the more paramount that Penelope tells Colin that she's Whistledown. He shouldn't have to find out on his own, and in fact, finding out on his own would cause an IMMENSE rift between them. It would shatter his trust in her worse than learning about Marina lying to him. If Penelope instead, however, comes clean, comes to him with honesty, Colin would see that in of itself as an act of love and trust. For Colin, love is being honest. Love is being earnest. Love is being upfront. And even though Marina had every reason not to do so, to hide, to reveal to him after the fact, having lied to him is what really breaks his heart.

This is an opportunity for Bton to get some payoff in a reflection of a scene like this with Colin and Penelope. Because what so many of us Polin fans don't want to face is the fact that Penelope is ALSO keeping a life ruining secret from him. And what Marina says? Can we not also hear that in Penelope's voice? If the question is how they overcome it, the first part of that answer is by Penelope taking accountability. Coming clean.

And even though Marina has more that happens to her, this is the end of her and Colin's love story. From here, they don't really intersect. Marina does say to Daphne that Colin is a sweet boy, and for what it is worth, she is sorry, but they have very little beyond this. Until Season 2 when he visits her [we'll unpack that can of worms at a different time] Eloise comes to Penelope and asks how she's faring, Penelope says their mum swears they're ruined. But Penelope then asks about Colin, if he's in pieces, and Eloise assures that Colin will be fine as most men are, but that Whistledown has gone too far with the slander the sheet did to her family. The Featheringtons are asked to leave the luncheon, and Penelope walks off with them, realizing the true impact of Whistledown and what she's done for the first time.

One of which is Marina's brush with death. Disgraced, abandoned, and rejected, Marina drinks what she hopes is an abortive tea, and Penelope finds her on the floor after she comes to talk to her, perhaps to come clean, perhaps to make amends. Now that Colin is no longer a point of contention between them, Penelope can open her heart once more, and likely feels immensely guilty. In our final episode, Penelope is clearly feeling the weight of her actions, even when Marina apologizes to her after drinking the tea and recovering, is glad she can finally go home, and says Penelope was right. That Colin is a good man with a good heart. That Penelope was good to him, and one day, Colin will see it. It's the end of the season, now. Marina is more than ready to move on.

Enter Phillip Crane. The entire Phillip situation is tragic, how he has to tell Marina that George is dead, and how Marina has his letter as proof that George loved her, and that she thought him a villain. (Marina has a moment that I think will be reflected by Penelope in Season 3: 'I was wrong.' )

The next scene Penelope and Colin share is when he's singing for his family, his voice catching when he looks at her. Likely in gratitude or appreciation, but also this is another moment in which he looks at Penelope differently, their relationship subtly shifting. He realizes she was trying to tell him. He admires how good she is. He's touched by how she cares about him, how she tried to keep him from heartache. And she did. She really, really did.

She just also tried to keep herself from it, too.

But she couldn't. Because at the end of all of this, all these twists, these turns, and all the choices she makes 'for Colin'- he has to choose himself, too. And he chooses to leave, to escape, to heal, and to embrace his passions in travel. and this hurts Penelope, too, because it wasn't that she was trying to keep him from heartache, but rather to keep him for herself. Because she was trying to tell him she loved him.

Immediately following the end of his engagement that she orchestrated, she wanted to confess. In a way, Penelope underestimated Colin, didn't see him all season, the depth of his feelings or his gentle heart. Though she tried to keep him from heartache, heartache found him regardless. She denies his request for a dance, swallows her confession, and leaves. It hurts her that he doesn't want her, but she doesn't think of his perspective in it. To Penelope, Colin is not yet a person, but an idea. This is the first fragment in that image. Which is good. It has to shatter eventually, and it does so at the end of Season 2.

Daphne, the same woman Penelope tried to pit against Marina in the diamond wars at the start of the season becomes the only real ally Marina has. Her only true friend. And the reason Phillip comes and offers Marina marriage, thus keeping her from destitution. Penelope wasn't going to, even though she was sorry at the end. She cries after Marina walks past her without so much as a glance when she walks her way, stone faced, into a carriage with a complete stranger, her dead love's brother, to live the rest of her days in a completely new place.

And Penelope? Penelope engrosses herself into Lady Whistledown, and she continues correspondence with Colin from afar, as she is more comfortable doing, and she dreams of a someday, and she feels invincible, because at the end of the day, even though what she did was objectively not good, she got away with it. She leaves us with a smirk at the end of Season 1.

Which makes her even more bold in Season 2. Which will lead us up to her having to face actual consequences for her actions in S3, because in this entire season, not once does Penelope apologize, and in fact, the two people whom she causes the most harm to, both end up apologizing to her, completely unaware that the entire time, she'd been plotting to break them up from the very beginning

I don't think Penelope is evil, but Marina certainly isn't, either. To assume that Penelope felt betrayed by Marina, to pin the blame onto her, is to twist the narrative, and it has festered so long and so deeply into Polin, that we've seemingly completely forgotten.

Like it or not, the story with Marina serves important roles: it reveals the extent and sacrifices Penelope will go to and make for Colin, for herself, for her own happy ending, and for romance, it shows what a hopeless romantic Colin is, and how dearly he cares for others, how deeply he feels, and how desperately he wants to be heard. And, more than anything, it's the story of a woman who was thrust into circumstances that were bigger than her, that left her scrambling for answers, that revealed everyone else's cruelty in their interactions with her.

And that revealed ours, as well.

sometimes fanon festers for so long that it becomes what we swear is real, even if it isn't. it becomes a rot, in fact, manifesting in so many bad takes, particularly about Marina, in the Polin tag. we've all seen them. Penelope exposed Marina because she did it for Colin. Marina didn't care for Colin and only wanted to trap him. Colin was blind to what was in front of him all along. some of them are more cruel, people stating that Colin was an absolute idiot or that Marina was a heartless bitch.

It's enough of Marina being the Big Bad in Polin's love story. She isn't. Marina got dealt a horrible hand, and she navigated it with so much more grace than I ever could have. She endured physical abuse, verbal degradation, gaslighting, manipulation, derision, fake friends, and the death of her own love story to come out the other end a pragmatic woman with a kind heart, moving forward. Her experiences in Season 1 made her believe she had no Love Story to live. She loved, she lost, she tried again and it blew up in her face.

And she deserves our fucking sympathy

Her story is over in Bridgerton, but as Polin's love story continues, it's important to get a clean look at Penelope's intentions and how morally gray she truly is, which makes her all the more interesting and complex. It makes Polin's love story and their dynamics rich and nuanced and layered. Both Colin Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington said "I'll do anything for love"

we get to see just far that stretches

[xerith-42]

What are some of your rewrite ideas regarding religion in MCD regions, worship of Irene and her comrades, and of the relationship Irene herself has with others (the divine warriors, normal people, lords, etc).

Also just ideas of the Divine warriors in general? I find them very interesting

[picks up Kul'zak by the scruff of his neck and shakes him around like a chew toy]

I have a lot of reasons to throw hands with Jess on some very personal levels, but I want to throw hands with Jess on a creator v creator level over how bad the Divine Warriors are handled. We have exactly one picture of Kul'zak and one picture of Menphina. I started spelling her name with an extra n during my original rewrite and it's just a habit that I picked up because she matters so little that I didn't even notice. It's not like I was going to the wiki page to find information about her BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!

The fact that Shad and Irene have so much detail given to them, but the others get JACK SHIT will never not piss me off! Enki and Esmund get a little more, but it's still next to nothing!! These are key characters in her lore, and yet we know next to nothing about most of them.

So, I did some tweaks in my first rewrite that color how I view this world overall, so let's jump into it, starting with the most neglected of the bunch, Menphina and Kul'zak.

I believe Menphina was the Divine Warrior of Tu'la, and the first of the catfolk (oh yeah I call Meif'wa catfolk). The kingdom of Havas is the central kingdom and home to the primary church of The Furious, a warmongering kingdom that once controlled the main city and primary port, but over the years the King sought more and more power in the name of his divine. Menphina encouraged fighting for survival, not for conquest. Her Fury was not in the name of power, but in the name of fighting off those who backed her into the corner.

Much of Menphina's history has become lost on her people. They remember her as a fierce warrior, not the scared and cornered animal she once was. They remember her as a romance-less woman who only reproduced to continue her bloodline, the royal family. They've forgotten that she expressed love for Irene and Shad. They've neglected the pain that would have caused as Irene erased Shad from the story.

Her best friend was Kul'zak. They were akin to siblings, spending hours with one another around a lake in the Tu'la country side. A willow tree with rose vines climbs around it, and after the defeat of Shad, she turned it into a subdimension of Irene's (like the sacred tree Aph and Garroth met under). Her people know she was friends with Kul'zak, but few know the nuances of said friendship. They don't know how much these two would do for one another.

Kul'zak never had a kingdom, never had a church, the closest he gets is a following. Many wanderers and traders consider him a high inspiration, especially ones from The Gal'ruk Islands. Ru'aun has forgotten that he was a wanderer, not a keeper. He kept quite a bit over his travels, but lots of the treasures he gathered were meant for Enki. His closeness to Enki was well documented, if you could read their encoded messages to one another.

Historians call them best friends. If they remember Kul'zak. He doesn't lose sleep over whether or not the rest of the world remembers him, just that those who matter do. His friends, his fellow warriors, and his fellow wanderers. Those are who matter.

Kul'zak was at least a little in love with all the warriors (except Menphina, they're childhood friends and frequently call one another siblings). This isn't well documented or well remembered due to his... Odd expressions of love. The Divine understood it and no one else could.

Also here's a Picrew I did using Brights Picrew Hell of Kul'zak because he's my fave Divine Warrior (I held back talking about him so I can talk about the others)

Kul'zak lost his eye in the fight against Shad, and Menphina was also badly wounded, though details of her exact injury are unknown. She fled to Tu'la before any of her friends could see the real damage.

I think Enki used to be a man full of life and love, happily helping the islands he called his home. He's greatly remembered and highly revered by these people, though the details of his personal life aren't as well known. It's known that he settled down with a woman, and spent the rest of his days fighting the Demon Warlock.

As time wore on he became weary of his position and held resentment for all the knowledge he feels is now a burden. His extensive library started to feel like a prison. The only solace he got was whenever Kul'zak would visit. One day Kul'zak came and he just knew. He could tell by looking at both of them that this was the last time they would see each other. It was the happiest Enki had been in his entire life.

Esmund was also born in Ru'aun, but Ru'aun is only known as the birthplace of Irene. And as a protector, he doesn't mind at all. Some theorize that Esmund could have resented Irene for living in her shadow, but that's exactly what he wants. He wants to use his power to protect and uplift those he holds dearest.

There's no dedicated following to Esmund, but he and Irene ensured that the guard system was a success, and he lives on in the heart of every foolish guard willing to throw their life away for a lord.

Random headcanon that I treat as canon because there's literally nothing to contradict me: It was Kul'zak who suggested that they send Shad to the Nether. He first thought of it after seeing how sad Menphina got every time Irene and Shad fought. He wanted to see her smile. So he went to Enki and the two developed their method with the help of Esmund and the wyverns to seal Shad away.

After sending Shad to the Nether, Irene tried to erase him from the story. Obviously she wasn't able to erase him completely, people still knew who he was, but she spun a narrative that he became power hungry and betrayed them. She made sure there was no record of Kul'zak coming up with the plan, and solely took any blame for it. Afterwards Irene became far more reclusive, and far less kind.

Not that she was hostile, but she responded to the plight of mortals with a general "Learn to take care of yourself" statement. She would only step in if absolutely necessary. This caused many to become disillusioned with her over time, often moving to other regions out of resentment. They expected her to bring their fallen relatives and friends back to life. She never did that after Shad left, not even to her own loved ones. Death seemed like a luxury to them.

And Shad. Man, I FUCKIN HATE THAT NAME. Listen we love renaming shit in this fandom for very understandable reasons, and I think we need to rename Shad more. Like, I don't object to the cast of MCD calling the Shadow King "Shad" as a way to shorten his name in conversation, I think that's fine! I really wish it was that! But noooo, Jess had to be clever and make that the name of the Divine Warrior even though it's a really dumb fucking name. It's not sinister, it's not intimidating, it's not even a good name. It's just Shad. It's a sad Chad.

I'm personally a big fan of calling him Araphel (so much so that I forgot his name was Shad when I first got back into MCD), and that's what his name is always going to be in my brain and my rewrites. Now that I've gotten that out of the way--

I think Araphel is a truly sad, pathetic, broken man. One who once had it all, but it wasn't enough. He needed more, he needed to have something else, he felt he was owed the romance he desired with Irene. And while she reciprocated, it felt inauthentic. As if he loved her more than she could ever love him. Araphel was doomed not by a desire for power, but a lust for someone he could never fully have. Lust turned into desperation, desperation turned into anger, anger to rage, and rage to resentment.

During his rageful state was when he was sealed away. It was during this rage to resentment that he created the Shadow Knights. He knew exactly what Irene and Esmund wanted, guards who would lay down their lives for lords, and lords who would lay down their lives for their people. That's why regardless of your previous attachment, if you're a guard assigned to a lord, your calling latches onto your lord. No exceptions. No excuses.

The thing Kul'zak, Esmund, Enki and Menphina were fighting for was to stop Irene and Araphel from fighting. In the end, they failed. Araphel made his Shadow Knights, and Irene had her lords. And one day, a reincarnation of both were born and sent on a collision course towards one another without any hope of stopping it. In the end, they could never stop finding, falling, and fighting.

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[gatorinator]

“Walrus on your doorstop” this “fairy’s more unrealistic” that my professor just uttered the sentence “there was one day I found a real octopus in my backyard” this man hasn’t left Utah his entire life. How was there an octopus in his backyard in Utah. He then said “I do not have time to elaborate we need to cover a lot today in class” GIRL WHAT DO YOU MEEAN

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...

[reineydraws]

jason is a grandpa's boy and u cant take this away from me!!! they cook together, they discuss literature together, and when jay comes back, they clean their guns together haha. ofc they celebrate their birthday together too! 😌

✨️🎂 hbd jay & alfie 🎂✨️

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Mikes and Vanessas celebrate 10 years of FNAF!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[kittyprincessofcats]

ICJ Ruling

Okay, let's get into this.

First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.

However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:

The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.

The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".

The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)

The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?

In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:

He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".

And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?

This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.

We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.

(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)

So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.

[tubbytarchia]

so ranchers huh

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

[eaissilyy]

Unused crib.

I swear I am very normal about this. AU where Marika once cares but it's not enough and her priority lies elsewhere. Here's the inspiration I wrote in company time because my ass was not working.

She looked at her children and thought despite everything how could I still love you. Why was there a place in her numb heart for these two when they resembled everything she hated. She threw them into the pit below and tried not think about it. But how could she? When she looked at the empty space where the crib used to be and thought how can I forget them

(There's the second pic as a treat because ?? They don't exist? Marika has never had a twin with Godfrey? Godwyn is an only child? There might be a locked room in the Sanctuary where servants are not allowed to peak inside, the key is hidden and the room forgotten. But that's normal, isn't it? Every palace has a storage of abandoned things all the time. So what are you talking about? haha I am obviously NOT crying.)