#and i also have started work on the script for 5 :)

[iwillmissourtalks]

SEARCHING AO3: A (SLIGHTLY) MORE ADVANCED GUIDE

Disclaimer: This is very very geared towards finding fics about a particular character rather than a pairing. My favourite guys tend to be popular-ish women that appear in a lot of fics but only as supporting characters so I’ve had to become v good at combing for things that actually centre them <3

For this guide we’re gonna use my current hyperfixation: Mel Medarda & see what we can find lol

1. Use the tag filter system as your default! It’s superior in every way to the normal search except for the “any field” section which can be pretty useful but unless you’re using it for SPECIFICALLY THAT, don’t bother.

You can access the tag filter by clicking on any common tag (we’re gonna use “Mel Medarda”) and then hitting filters.

This thing is SO useful! Poke about in the dropdown menus; each of them will have the top 10 associated tags for that category. For example the top additional tags for Mel are Angst; Slow Burn and Fluff because,,, well. yk

+ it shows the number of fics with those tags under the “main” tag of Mel Medarda!

2. Keep an eye out for character specific tags! Now that we’re definitely using the tag filtering system we can start actually filtering through those tags <3

Most characters will have common but specific tags that both name them and imply something about their arc in the fic. A frequent example is something like “X character needs a hug”, or more obviously: “X character centric”.

These are my go-to tags for Mel! Most characters will have a variation of this set + some others (“BAMF character name” is also a pretty common one in older fandoms) and any one of these (INDIVIDUALLY, at most filtered in sets of 2) will lead to a few hundred results. It’s not 100% flawless because a lot of authors over-tag, but a solid 80% of the fics under these tags will at least heavily feature the character you’re looking for.

3. Filter by summary!!

At the bottom of the tag filters there’s a section called search within results. This is your Best Friend.

summary: “_”

^ for easy copy/paste

What this script will do is search for whatever you put in the quotation marks and then only give you fics with that thing in the description. I like to use it for character names but it also does a pretty good job filtering for tropes — try using it for vampires lol

Doing this with Mel narrows down her character tag from 7000+ to just under one and a half thousand fics, all of which at the very least include her name in the description.

4. RAREPAIRS ARE YOUR FRIEND! Canon but only semi-popular ships are infinitely more likely to get tagged in the background than say, for example — melvik (nobody is writing background melvik). This tip only works if you’re willing to multiship for more content of your guy but it is very effective.

5. Related to tip 4: Search by otp! If you’re locked in on a particular pairing that’s more popular, you can search for fics that ONLY include that ship.

otp:true

^ for easy copy/paste (again)

This is super useful and also the main reason I don’t tag side pairings in my own fics! Also remember to use this script with ship tag rather than just a character one — otherwise it won’t work.

6. Parent tags exist! This is less of a strategy and requires more trail & error, but lots of tags filter into each other. For another Mel-related example, filtering by the Only Meljay tag would also being up fics tagged with Jayce/Mel Medarda-centric — despite (potentially) not having the original tag you filtered by. This is because Jayce/Mel Medarda-centric is the Parent of the original tag, meaning ao3 has deemed the two tags related enough to appear in each other’s search results.

This is something done manually by ao3 staff so the consistency of parent tags are a little weird sometimes.

More practically, this is an interaction to keep in mind when blocking tags. If for example you were to exclude “Torture” from your search, ao3 would also automatically exclude —

Implied/Referenced Torture

Physiological Torture

Aftermath of Torture

And probably many more.

Even if the broad category of torture isn’t tagged in a fic, the specific referenced type of torture counts — to ao3 — as a tag of torture by itself.

Interestingly, the “sub-categories” of tag don’t feed into each other this way. You can block Physiological Torture and still see fics tagged with Implied/Referenced Torture or Aftermath of Torture.

Knowing this is useful in the sense that the more specific you get with a blocked tag, the less likely you are to accidentally filter out something you would actually be fine with (or inversely blocking a general category you HATE means you don’t have to obsessively filter out every possible iteration of that thing you don’t like).

You can tell tag is a Parent Category by searching for a Sub Category and blocking what you think is the Parent. This will result in 0 results.

Implied/Referenced Torture tag after blocking the Torture tag.

Each of these strategies are things to be done in waves or in combination with one another. Casting a wide net and then narrowing it down is really important, too many tags and you end up with no results.

Ao3 has an INCREDIBLY robust set of archival tools. It’s an amazing site and if a fic exists and you know what you’re doing, you should always be able to find it.

Happy reading <3

[bibi-the-pooh]

I just finished listening to Hunter’s iHeart podcast, and I’m fully convinced that they adapted Tyler’s storyline from The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It’s also worth noting that the podcast was released after they started filming Season 2, so by that time, Hunter had read at least some of the scripts.

Based on the book’s storyline- and everything we know about season 2-, here are the most plausible theories that come to mind:

1.Hunter said that by the end of Season 1, Tyler had "kind of lost all his humanity." I doubt Hyde responds well to solitary confinement in Willowhill. So, during Wednesday’s first visit, she’ll likely encounter the Hyde persona—not Tyler. Still, considering how deeply they got under each other’s skin in Season 1, it’s possible that something Wednesday says might trigger the real Tyler. That 'something' could relate to Donovan or Francoise.

2. Maybe I’m overanalyzing, but the way Hunter said, “Can you redeem someone who murdered some people?” was suspicious—he was literally giggling and kicking his feet while saying it. I genuinely believe that this question will be central to Tyler’s arc this season. I’d even bet money on it, especially since this season’s main theme is 'losing control'.

3. There has to be a nerve-wracking event in Tyler’s life to reawaken "the real Tyler." I’ve prepared myself for Donovan’s death, but I doubt they’ll kill him off so easily. If it does happen, it would require buildup—and once it happens, it needs to launch Tyler into a whole new emotional level. His mother is already presumed dead, so if he also loses his father, it could be the final blow that unravels him, this wouldn't fit into the agenda. That said, I’m pretty convinced Tyler won’t die—not yet. There's too much left to resolve: Morning Song, Willowhill, the stalker, and Tyler’s redemption arc. Plus, Hyde is too big of an asset for the show. Season 1 practically revolved around that violent little cutie. Tim Burton has built his entire career on making people empathize with morally grey—or even black—characters. I don’t think he’d let his hand-drawn "sensitive monster" go without a glorious send-off.

4. Either Francoise is still alive, or Donovan is in a situation where he needs to be saved. I believe this will connect directly to the people running Willowhill and the Morning Song cult. These two organizations are probably linked.

Willowhill definitely isn’t innocent. I believe the hospital is run by Morning Song cult members, elitist outcasts, or xenophobic normies. And all of them have a motive to abuse the outcast patients—especially someone like Tyler Galpin.

Laurel was just a pawn in a bigger game. Since she was able to access Francoise’s files, someone powerful must've been behind her. I suspect it’s the normies, but they likely lack Laurel’s personal vendetta. They don’t have strong emotional motives to oppose outcasts, they might even work with them if they see any benefit for themselves.

I think Dr. Fairburn might turn out to be a decent character, but Heather Matarazzo’s character is probably a sleeper-cell spy. Wednesday will likely uncover both her scheme and Principal Dort’s hypocrisy soon enough, and she may offer a quid pro quo to secure Tyler’s release. She wouldn’t risk being on the wrong side of history—if outcasts were abusing normies and suppressing their own kind, that would be a declaration of war in Wednesday’s book.

5. I’m still unsure how Wednesday would manage to keep Hyde under control, though. Maybe Bianca could use her siren song, or perhaps Hyde would choose to cooperate with Wednesday of his own accord. I pray the latter turns out to be true, because there’s something delicious about Hyde choosing to side with Wednesday while still being unreliable — and Tyler occasionally surfacing, messing with her mind just because he still resembles the boy she once knew.

6. And then there’s Karloff—that Frankenstein wannabe. How thrilling!

I have to admit, I have no idea how he'll come into play. I don't want to dwell on what the leaker said about him, I refuse to accept that bizarre "He accidentaly becomes Tyler's master" bs. For the second time, LET MY BOY LIVE ON HIS OWN WILL! (or Wednesday's...wait, who said that?). Though if he does get out and starts wreaking havoc around Jericho, I can definitely see why Wednesday would want Tyler on her side. You can only beat a monster with another one.

7. The stalker and the Addams family secrets also come into play. We know they’re trying to pave the way for a Fester spinoff. Maybe the stalker will turn out to be Debbie—but that’s just a wild guess. In any case, I don’t think this storyline will have a major impact on the season finale. It’ll more likely feed into the Red Death/Slasher/Camp episodes.

[immortalsins]

25 days until this is all over <- statement that should be the most motivating thing in the world but i somehow still can't do anything

[phoenix-clan]

Art Style Change

I mentioned in a previous post that I am unhappy with my current art style for the comic and am seeking a newer, more fresh art style to really amplify my abilities. Thing is, I have very shaky hands, a less than ideal set of tools, and only my own self-taught skills to go off of. I'm not a great artist nor am I an ambitious one.

The current style of my art for this comic, though, is not how I have currently been drawing art for other projects, and shifting back to this older style has started to become difficult. I can't really enjoy my art in this style, and truth be told, I wasn't really confident in it to begin with. It was burning me out having to draw in this style.

This is all to say that I will be switching the art style to a more easy, relaxed style that I can better draw without worry of burnout! I ask that you please understand where I am coming from with this change, and I hope you enjoy the new style. :)

This new style is looser and less focused on keeping within the lines, so I deeply apologize if you prefer my typically clean art style. I've always felt that the cleanliness of my art was a stifling thing, and I want to break free of that with a new style. The designs of the characters will mostly stay the same, save for certain changes such as ageing up or gaining scars, etc. I will also try to define the different body types more so the diversity of the designs can shine.

Example:

Below is the initial artwork I created of Slight upon first meeting her in game, on December 1st of last year.

and here is a new piece I created just now, January 13th, after drawing all of the major characters' new art in this looser style.

[dramas-vs-novels]

... mu university would have to pull weapons on a professor to get them to teach on a Saturday.

[stormte]

Not even 2 weeks into the final term and I’ve already been on the verge of a breakdown over all the shit I got on my plate

[sticksandsharks]

congratulations to the newly wed couple

thank you to everyone who has not only purchased the comic, but also had kind words to say in tags and through asks!! I am away for holiday for most of this month, and I have been/will be largely offline on account of this*-- but please know that my heart is incredibly full to know people like this story!!

(*any posts that go up here have been scheduled before I left)

A few recurring questions I'll answer here real quick:

Will Sacred Bodies have a physical print? Yes! I would like to self-publish this book after the fair is concluded and sell it at conventions and through my online store.

What are the Ba'It based off of? Their body/limb plan is based on pteradons!! with some bat and bird anatomy thrown in. Garaang are semi-bipedal so that makes the silhouette even weirder, but you see some quadrupedal stances in the comic and it might make more sense then. I don't want to post or talk too much about some of the minutae of their design, as it is part of the story itself. :}

What medium did you use for the comic? It's all digital; I used Clip Studio Paint to draw the entire thing. I use the base watercolour and design pencil brushes that come with the programme. How long did it take you to make the comic? It's a little hard to estimate-- initial ideas, visdev and writing drafts were intermitent at the start of the year; once I landed on the story, finalising the script would've taken no longer than a week of recurring writing and editing. It's the actual drawing that takes forever, unfortunately. I started thumbnailing around April, and pencilling, colours and painting were a 10-11 hour work-day commitment for most of June and July. (I lost a lot of work-time in May cause I fell ill, womp womp). I'd probably say it was 4 - 5 months of labour. Are you going to write more stories in this world? I would really like to! I have a lot of ideas rattling in my head for the Valley of the World-- the place that the folk of the Spire have escaped. That being said, I have a whole graphic novel to finish first! It has been pushed back on account (but not exclusively because) of me working on my SBCF entries the last couple years, and I don't want to neglect it any further!! (it's 350+ full colour pages though so it was always going to be a huge undertaking)

Thank you again for the outpouring of enthusiasm and support; it means the world!

[calebslittlecrow]

How To Assume

(stop being an overly anxious potato over manifesting)

Sometimes I see shifters asking “Oh, what should I do? Nothing is working :(“ and they get hit with the good ol “just assume” stamp and send on their way. And then, barely 10 steps later, they turn around and whisper “... the fuck do I even assume?”. Before I chew your ear off: assuming isn’t hard. Well, not really, but people tend to make it hard. We as humans just love acting like we need to turn ourselves into a pretzel every time we want something “big”. We actually assume every day - when we decide we suck, when we tell ourselves we’ll never shift anyway, when we confidently declare we are stuck in our 3D and shifting is just too good to be true and all those people in the reddit community saying it’s just astral projecting or deep lucid dreaming are right (what is even going on over there atm?). Guess what your 3D is doing with those assumptions? It grabs them, says “bet!” and starts running like it’s a race. Congrats ^-^ But hey, the good news: if you can assume all of that shit, you can also assume that you have shifted. Yeay! In the spirit of keeping it simple, I turned the way I see assuming into a neat little list. Enjoy, or not: 1. Just Decide That’s it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, exit is to the right. Okay, it sounds suspiciously simple and I know some brains will twitch a bit right now with “That can’t be it”. But it is. You sit down, breathe and say “I have shifted”. No begging, no pleading, no howling at the moon. You just decide, and that is where a lot of people crumble already by pleading for it to happen instead of deciding it has happened. You don’t need an approval stamp, you are the CEO of your own reality, not the intern grabbing coffee. Act like it. Deciding isn’t hoping or praying, it’s simply knowing. No matter if shit catches up immediately, tomorrow or next week. Doesn’t matter, let go of the need for it to happen right now. 2. Stop checking You said you shifted and now you are still checking your reality every 2 seconds like a teenager waiting for a message from their crush. Stop it. You’re rereading your script, watching shifting TikTok like the answer to all your problems will jump at you, poking your subconscious like “are we there yet?”. That’s not assuming, that is panic dressed up as productivity (or something like that). You are basically saying “I don’t actually believe this is done and decided”. Cut it out. Just go live your life. Play some games, touch grass with two hands and one face (beware of bees), breathe some fresh air. Your desire won’t implode because you stopped choking it out and stopped micromanaging everything. Obsessing doesn’t equal manifesting. Just let it cook. 3. You commit or you quit Assuming means you have to kinda commit to it. You’re not almost there, or halfway shifted. You are there. You have shifted, no more ifs and whens and buts and any other kind of spiraling. Take five minutes out of your day, relax into that knowing (or deciding). Feel your DR bed, hear your DR friends be loud as fuck for no reason, smell the DR air. Let your imagination drown out this reality like unwanted background noise. Similar to the fake arguments you rehearsed in the shower. You never needed help with those, did ya? 4. Yell at your doubts Maybe do this one internally, unless you are really feeling bold today. Every time your doubts creep in and whisper “What if it is not real?”, you turn around, embrace your inner main character energy and yell back “Shut the fuck up Brenda (sorry to all the Brendas out there), get back into the backseat. You’re not driving, I am.” Your doubts don’t get a say in what you want. They are not invited. You think your DR self is out there wondering if they are real or not? No, they are living the life you are telling yourself is unreachable.

5. Feeling ready is overrated, just do it Stop waiting to feel ready and questioning if your script is perfect or not. Your brain will rarely send you the green light you think you need to go ahead. You will feel silly, you will feel delusional. And you might feel like a clown. Embrace it, be the clown. Insist on what you decided until your 3D gets nervous and bends over in existential fear. You don’t wait to feel certain, you decide you are certain. And then go and act like it’s done.

TL;DR (how dare you, but fine T-T) Assuming you have shifted is like assuming the sun will rise tomorrow. You don’t argue with your friend about it. You don’t beg the sun to rise again. You just know and walk with the confidence that it’s happened, and with shifting you do so because you said so. That’s it. Stop overthinking. Assume and now go, I need to do some drawing stuff.

[lovebvni]

Reasons You May Not Be Shifting.

This post is not to ridicule you or say “you need to do this better!” No, this post is to help you recognize where you may be “falling short” or overwhelming yourself.

i want to start to say something that i got from @masoncantthinkofaname ‘s TikTok; you were born into a world where spirituality is made so small and seems immature or crazy and that is not your fault. you are forced to believe that everything you want in life is earned and nothing should be just handed to you. you are allowed gifts for being born, for persisting, for believing. people like this, in masons words, “believe they need to do do more to shift, more methods, more shadow work, more reprogramming their mind. the truth is, you don’t need any of this. [But] it can help if you believe it helps.”

this post is simply to help you realize and restore your own power in self, and giving you tips. these tips could include shadow work, reprogramming your subcon, but they could also be as simple as stop over consuming content, take a break, or be creative. with that out the way, let me list a few things that personally hindered my shifting journey and may be hindering yours.

not having your own beliefs and feeding off someone else’s. eating someone else’s leftovers instead of your own meal isn’t going to fill you up.

making shifting a job. shifting is fun, shifting isn’t your 9-5 cubicle work. it’s an activity that you get to choose to do.

searching for signs, and begging the universe for them. signs are not what make you shift. the first time i shifted i saw nothing, i just wanted to shift and i did it. all you need is that desire, not seeing 1:11.

holding onto and romanticizing your past. finding yourself in the destruction of the tower is not worth it. you are meant to leave the past in the past, so stop picking those wounds.

overscripting. first of all you don’t need to script. everything will be just the way you want it to be. when you focus on scripting too much, you take the fun out of it eventually. sure it will look pretty, but what about that one thing you forgot to script, if your style changes — WHO CARES?!?

feeling like you are not worth shifting. you, indeed, are. shifting slithered its way to you, not the other way around. it wouldn’t be on your mind still if it “hated” you.

i swear i had more to say but i cannot remember. reply with things that held or hold you back currently. acknowledging is the first step to freedom <3

[lascvitae]

WANNA MAKE YOU MINE³ ✵ YU JIMIN.

❀ ༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ alt. I WANNA STRING YOU OUT,

I WANNA MAKE YOU MINE .ᐟ

ᝰ.ᐟ y/n plans to flip the power, but karina’s silence isn’t part of the plan. and when she finally speaks, it’s not what y/n expects.

part one. part two. part three.

ᝰ.ᐟ pairing. karina x fem!reader ᝰ.ᐟ genre. angst, fluff, strangers to lovers ᝰ.ᐟ warning(s). cursing, arguing, underage drinking, obsession and possession, manipulation, not toxic if its hot (it’s toxic), y/n is ceo of i can fix her, it’s kinda dramatic for no reason

ᝰ.ᐟ wc 20k (sorry for yapping…)

ᝰ.ᐟ katty hiii guys it’s finally here (pretending like it isn’t 5 am) but i hope you guys like it <3 i rewrote it like 4 times bc i didn’t like it but i’m kinda satisfied w this ending (i lowk feel like its ahh 🥀) also we’re sooo back i graduate monday n i’ll be working on requests next ++ it’s so crazy how i’m close to 900 alr OKAY enjoy

masterlist.

FIRST PERIOD WAS ALMOST A BLUR. you slid into your seat beside minjeong, biting your bottom lip lightly. she looked over at you, brow furrowed in quiet concern. “you good?”

“do i look good?”

“you look like you got hit by the karina train.” she said, making you groan. you folded your arms on the desk and dropped your head. “i don’t know how much longer i can do this. she has a comeback for everything, minjeong. it’s like she studied me before i even got here.”

minjeong didn’t laugh. she just sat quietly for a moment before speaking. “she probably did.” you lifted your head up enough to look at her. “not helping.”

“i’m just saying. she has a phd in obsession but you know that by now. girl is trying to own you.” she shrugged and you sighed. “she’s already halfway there.” minjeong leaned in, resting her chin on her hand. “so… you’re gonna fold?”

you hesitated. “no. i wanna flip the script. i know she’s hiding everything.” that got her attention. her eyebrows rose. “you wanna make karina blush?”

“i didn’t say that. i just want her to… i don’t know. i wanna see what happens when she doesn’t have control.” you paused. “i need her to show me who she really is.” minjeong tilted her head slightly. “what do you mean?” 

you looked down at your desk, voice softer. “i want to know what happened. with jiwon. with yujin. with everything. i can’t ask her. she’d twist it or avoid it. but if i make her slip… maybe i’ll finally get the truth.”

“so you’re not just trying to win.”

“no. i just need her to be real with me. i think part of her wants that too, but she doesn’t know how.” minjeong’s expression softened. “that’s… kinda beautiful.”

“don’t get soft on me now.” you joked weakly.

“sorry— okay. then we flip the script around.”

“and if she falls?” you asked.

“she will. but when she does, you gotta look her in the eye and let her feel it.” minjeong said quietly. you felt your chest swell with something warm and electric. “i want her to actually like me. not just want me.”

minjeong watched you carefully. “she already does. she just doesn’t know how to say it yet.” you exhaled.

“okay.” you whispered.

“alright. if we’re gonna do this, you need to stop acting like you’re surprised every time she breathes near you.” you rolled your eyes. “i’m not that bad.”

“you stuttered when she handed you a napkin. first rule. don’t react first. let her flinch. let her look for your reaction and find none. you stay calm and mysterious like you already know what she’s going to do next.”

“you mean act like her?”

“exactly. be the mirror. let her see herself and it’ll drive her crazy. second, start giving her what she gives you. the little touches, the looks. but make it obvious that you’re doing it on purpose. following?”

“like when i fed her that one time?”

“yes, but crank it all the way up. you want her to be the one biting her lip this time.”

“okay. got it.”

“third, don’t be afraid to pull back sometimes. make her come to you. show her she’s not the only one who can leave someone wanting.” you paused at that, glancing down at your notebook full of notes. “you’ve really thought about this.”

minjeong shrugged. “i had to learn it the hard way.” you looked up at her. “how do you know her so well?”

“i used to be in love with her.” she said as if it were obvious.

“oh. right.” it kinda was. “yeah. it was back when she didn’t know what to do with someone who actually cared. i was dumb. thought i could be the exception.”

you felt guilt and understanding stir in your chest. “i’m sorry.” you murmured.

“don’t be.” the teacher begins the lesson before you can reply.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

the bell rings. you barely register it until minjeong nudges your arm.

“hey. study session at my place after school?”

you nod. “yeah. thanks, minjeong.“

you gather your things with calm, measured movements. no rushing. no nerves. you already know she’s waiting.

you step into the hallway and there she is.

karina’s leaning against your locker arms crossed and phone in one hand. her expression is unreadable but the second her eyes meet yours, the corners of her mouth twitch. you slow your pace just enough to make her eyes narrow. 

“hey, stranger. only took you one period to forget what i look like?” she says. you try not to smile, keeping your face calm. then you tilted your head.

“you’re hard to forget.” you said lightly. you stood in front of her now. closer than you needed to be.

“were you waiting long?” you asked.

“long enough.” her voice was smooth but something behind it had shifted. there was a pause and her eyes dropped to your mouth and you caught it. barely. before they flicked back up.

“walk me to class?” you asked, almost teasing. “…unless you have other plans.”

“no. i don’t.” she said slowly.

“then let’s go.” you started walking before she could say anything else. and this time, she followed. the hallway moved around you in waves. everyone was noticing karina but you both ignored it. she walked beside you, composed as usual. she always looked like she was heading somewhere important. even when she was just following you. you didn’t rush. you just walked steadily.

“you’re quiet. thinking about me?” she said, glancing over. you hummed. “you want me to be?”

“always.”

you turned your head just slightly, your expression unreadable. and then without a word, you reached over and slid your fingers between hers. you didn’t look at her, didn’t squeeze her hand. you just held it like it was nothing. karina’s eyes were on you now. you felt the sharp heat of her attention flickering across your face. she didn’t say anything.

you finally glanced her way. “no comment?”

“you don’t usually do that.”

“maybe you don’t know what i usually do.”

you felt her smile before you saw it. “is this a new phase?”

you looked ahead again, unfazed. “maybe i’m just tired of playing it safe.”

“careful. i might start thinking you’re in love with me.” she murmured.

you shrugged. “is that a bad thing?”

“for everyone else.”

you bit your lip. “good thing i just want you then.” karina let out a soft laugh. it was barely more than a breath, but it was real. then, like nothing had happened, she kept walking with the same pace, grip tightened just slightly around your hand.

“careful. you’re starting to sound dangerous.” she said again, her voice lower now.

"guess i’m finally learning from the best.”

“hm. so you admit it.”

“i never said i didn’t.” she hummed again, but it was different this time. it was warmer.

“don’t think i won’t test you.”

“don’t think i won’t pass.” and she smiled. but she didn’t let go.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

the lunch bell came sooner than you expected. aeri was sitting across from you, already mid rant. "i swear, i hate school. especially lunch. it’s always the same. same food, same people, same boring ass conversations. i’m ready to just skip it and go home.”

ning rolled her eyes dramatically. “you’re just mad because your salad is a sad excuse for one. i told you to get the chicken wrap but you never listen.”

aeri glared at ning. “whatever. i don’t care! i’m about to leave.” she searched for her car keys. karina didn’t seem interested in the conversation. she wasn’t even looking at aeri or ning. she was watching you with the same calculating gaze, the one that made you feel like she knew every thought in your head before you even thought it.

“every time i try to get closer, you pull back.” she said. her smile was barely there but it was undeniably sly. you could feel aeri’s eyes darting between you and karina. you leaned in slightly, enough to close the gap between you. “maybe i’m just trying to figure you out. you’re not exactly the easiest person to read." karina’s gaze flickered at that, but she didn't say anything yet. instead, she leaned back in her seat like she was studying you, waiting for you to make your next move. so that’s when you did it.

without warning, you slid your hand across the table to barely brushing her fingers. she raised an eyebrow. "nevermind. i take it back. i love lunch. god bless private schools.” aeri chimed in. karina was now looking at you with a little more intensity than before. there was something unreadable in her gaze. then after a moment, her curled into a subtle smirk. something in her was definitely interested now. and maybe, she was starting to wonder how far you were willing to take it. for now though, you’re gonna keep her guessing. just like she kept you guessing.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

the final bell rang but your brain had already clocked out twenty minutes ago. you barely had time to shove your stuff into your bag before you stepped into the hallway and saw her. she was leaning against the lockers like she had been waiting since second period. her bag was slung over one shoulder and her hair was perfect. expression unreadable but so her.

“walk with me?” she asked, already turning like she knew you’d say yes. you did. of course you did.

“i was thinking… you should come back to mine. we can study. or not.” she said casually as the two of you made your way out of the building. her tone was light, but her eyes? not so much.

“actually— i’m meeting minjeong. study session.” and there it was. the shift. it was tiny, but you saw it. the slight pause in her step. the lightest twitch in her jaw. it was jealousy. 

“oh.” she said, smiling like it didn’t bother her.

“she’s helping me pass, not planning my wedding.” you said half teasing, but karina wasn’t laughing. she was looking at you like you just slipped through her fingers.

“you can come by after. i’ll wait.” she said, reapplying lipgloss. you were about to respond when aeri popped up out of literally nowhere. “wait for what?”

you raised a brow. “karina invited me over.”

“okay? say yes.”

“i have a study session.” you said.

“she’ll still be minjeong tomorrow. but karina’s house has an elevator. have you seen it?”

“she’s not wrong.” karina muttered, arms crossed now.

“i saw i—“

“besides! karina can help you study. she has snacks too. gourmet ones. the fridge talks.” you turned back to karina, whose expression was neutral but her eyes had darkened just enough to make your stomach do a flip.

“fine. but i’m not staying late.” you said.

karina smiled. just barely. “you say that every time.”

“this would only be the second time.”

“and yet it’s starting to feel like a habit.” she said, already turning towards the parking lot. hou rolled your eyes but your heart was already racing.

yeah. you were in too deep. and you kinda liked it.

karina’s car was already purring in the lot, sleek and black. you had barely opened the passenger side door when a shriek came from behind you. “shotgun, bitch!” aeri shoved past you like this was mario kart and not a luxury vehicle. “are you serious?”

“deadass. my knees hurt.” she said, already buckled in and adjusting the seat. ning raised an eyebrow. “karina isn’t gonna let—“

“let her sit up here.” karina’s voice cut through.

“ugh, she really does get everything!” you slid into the passenger and aeri looked personally victimized by karina’s favoritism. “she’s not even trying and she still wins. i hope your spotify crashes mid song.” aeri muttered, dramatically slinging her legs over ning’s lap.

karina didn’t respond. she was busy driving like she had people to run over. but her hand was flexing on the wheel every time you leaned a little too close to the window. or when your phone buzzed and she saw minjeong’s name flash across the screen. you saw it too. she didn’t say anything, but her jaw did that thing again. and just as you passed the back exit, you spotted her. minjeong. she was talking to someone, her eyes locking with yours through the window just long enough to make your stomach twist.

“oh shit. that was minjeong, right?” aeri said under her breath. “she’s chill.” you muttered. but ning leaned forward between the seats with a smirk. “she looked mad chill. like she was upset or something kinda chill.” karina didn’t look back. just gripped the wheel a little tighter and hit the turn signal. the ride started off normal. well, as normal as it could be with ning trying to pick a playlist. 

“i’m playing doja.” she declared, phone already connected.

“if y’all make me listen to doja one more time—”

“respectfully, shut up. it’s woman hour.”

“i am a woman!” aeri yelled back.

“not like doja is.”

“karina! can we get cold stone?” aeri chirped. karina was just silent. her hand on the wheel and her eyes were forward, but you saw the faintest twitch in her lips. amused. or maybe something more dangerous.

“karina! cold stone? please?” aeri repeated, dragging out the please. karina still didn’t answer right away. she just changed lanes.

“wait— what about min—” you started, already pulling your phone out.

“i want cold stone too. and i’m not about to third wheel y’all studying about cells and shit.” ning cut in. “we wouldn’t even be stu—” you paused, caught yourself, and then gave karina a look. “we’re not even gonna study, are we?”

karina finally glanced at you, eyes sharp and unreadable. “i don’t know. depends if you’re a good girl.” aeri made a noise that might’ve been a gag. “oh my god. please send her to jail.”

ning cackled. “nooo, let her have her moment. let them be weird.”

karina’s hand slid from the wheel to the center console, fingers brushing yours like it was casual. it wasn’t. “so? cold stone?” she asked quietly. you exhaled, letting your phone drop into your lap. “fine. but nothing crazy.”

“that’s what victiorian children say before they try my order and see god.”

“you put gummy bears and marshmallows in it.”

“it’s texture.”

ning rolled her eyes. “it’s giving diabetes.” karina didn’t say a word, but when the turn signal clicked again, you realized she had already taken the exit.

and yeah. maybe minjeong would be pissed. but as you watched karina change lanes like she owned the road and felt her fingers barely grazing yours again, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. the cold stone parking lot was mostly empty, late afternoon sun casting long shadows over the building. karina pulled into a spot and looked over at you.

“stay close.” she said.

aeri was already halfway out the car, yelling something about birthday cake remix and how “cookie dough is a lifestyle.” ning followed behind her. you stepped out and felt karina’s hand brush yours again, then linger for just a second too long. you glanced up at her. “you always like this about ice cream?”

“only when you’re involved.” she said, walking ahead like she didn’t just throw you off guard. you caught up fast. inside, the cold stone was blaring early 2010s pop. aeri was already at the glass, pressed up against it like a child, pointing aggressively at mix ins.

“that. and that. and— yes, extra sprinkles.”

ning was pulling out her phone to take a picture of her nails in front of the rainbow display. you looked over at karina. she wasn’t looking at the ice cream. she was watching you.

“what?” you asked.

“what do you want?”

“me?”

“mmhm.”

“uh… coffee ice cream. brownies. fudge. maybe caramel…”

“why are you looking at me like that?” you laughed nervously. 

“just figuring you out. you give strawberry energy but you order differently.” she said, lips twitching into a smirk.

“is that a bad thing?”

“not at all.” you were about to say something back when aeri waved you over, two samples already melting in her hand.

“taste test. now.” karina just stepped back, letting you take your time. and when you finally got your cup — caramel dripping down the side and way too many brownies packed in — she paid without asking. you opened your mouth to protest but she just raised a brow.

“habit.” she said simply. you didn’t argue. not this time. maybe you were getting pulled deeper into something you didn’t fully understand yet. but you were warm, full of sugar, and karina was walking next to you like she’d always been there. and for now? you let it happen.

you stepped outside into the gold drenched dusk, caramel already threatening to drip down your wrist. aeri and ning were arguing about who would win in a cage match between taylor swift and doja cat, both talking at the same time. karina walked beside you in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. it was heavy. intentional.

you stole a glance at her as you walked. perfect posture. gaze straight ahead. one hand tucked in her jacket pocket.

and that’s when it hit you. this was the plan.

the detour. the ice cream. the quiet touches. the eye contact. even letting aeri and ning come along, keeping it casual. giving you space, but not too much. you were never going to study with minjeong today.

you paused mid step, and karina noticed. of course she did. “something wrong?”

you looked up at her, heart racing just a little. “you knew what you were doing.”

karina blinked, slow and deliberate. “elaborate.”

“you changed the subject. distracted me. gave me sugar so i wouldn’t be mad.”

she tilted her head. “did it work?” you stared at her, at the way her smile ghosted across her lips like she already knew your answer. and maybe she did.

“you’re insane.” you muttered.

“so i’ve heard.” you didn’t pull away when she brushed her fingers against yours again. because deep down? you already knew this was the plan from the moment she said 'walk with me.'

karina’s place was quiet when you walked in. the kind of quiet that felt designed. she casually kicked her shoes off by the door and you followed suit, already feeling the marble under your socks like it was judging you. aeri flopped onto the couch like she paid rent there. “okay so. what’s the plan.”

“we literally just got here.” you said, setting your cold stone cup on the table.

“yeah and i’m already bored. can we do something? like a movie? or a game? strip uno?” ning looked up from scrolling. “girl. we are not doing strip anything with y/n and rina.”

aeri rolled her eyes so hard you thought they might get stuck. “oh my god, i meant it casually. like not full nipple. just a vibe.”

“we’re not playing strip uno, we need a better plan.”

you settled into the arm of the couch, spoon halfway to your mouth. “what happened to watching a movie?”

“that’s what people do when they’re boring.” ning said, crossing one leg over the other. “we should do something new. like— break into the community pool?” karina, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke. “we’re not breaking the law.”

“ugh, fine. then…” ning sat up straighter, eyes flicking between the three of you. 

“let’s throw a party.”

“what?” you asked, spoon now frozen mid air.

“friday night. here. exclusive.” she said it like she was offering you a gift. karina didn’t even blink. “ning.”

“what? come on. you haven’t hosted anything since halloween and that doesn’t even count. i blacked out.”

aeri looked interested now. “i’m down. i’ll make a playlist. we can do a dress code. like hot but scary?”

“okay but—” you glanced at karina. 

“you’re just gonna say yes to this?” karina tilted her head like she was studying you. “you don’t want to?”

you opened your mouth, paused. “i mean. i didn’t say that.” ning grinned. “so that’s a yes. party on friday. hosted by our very own karina yu.” karina just leaned back into the couch, spooning a piece of your brownie into her mouth like this was exactly how she wanted it to go.

aeri clapped. “yesss. i’m texting people. hot but scary, byob!” you watched as karina used your spoon again, completely unbothered by personal space. “you’re just gonna eat mine?”

“you said you didn’t want anything crazy.” she said, chewing. “this is crazy.”

“you’re insane.”

“you like that.” karina smiled with her whole face this time. you muttered something under your breath that definitely wasn’t denial and ignored how aeri and ning exchanged a look behind you. and when your phone buzzed again, another unread message from minjeong, you turned it over without checking. because suddenly, friday didn’t feel that far away. karina fed you some of your ice cream and you were starting to realize everything always went exactly how she wanted.

friday morning, the school hallways were buzzing in that weird, overstimulating way they always were after a party was announced. and a scandal. and even though you hadn’t caused the latest scandal (yet), walking in next to karina still made you feel like a headliner. she was close. closer than usual. one hand brushing the small of your back like a warning and a claim all at once.

“you slept okay?” she asked like it wasn’t 8:06 a.m. and you weren’t actively trying to survive.

“barely. someone kept texting me party theme ideas at 2 a.m.” you muttered, adjusting your bag.

“aeri’s passionate.”

“aeri’s insane.”

“and you’re invited to be insane with us.” she said, glancing sideways at you. you were just about to respond when you saw her — minjeong. heading down the hall. she stopped a few feet away, eyes flicking between you and karina. “morning.”

you hesitated. “hey.”

karina was the one who stepped forward, expression unreadable but voice light. “you coming tonight?” minjeong looked confused. “to what?”

“party at my place. ning’s idea. hot but scary. you’d fit.” karina said, tone smooth. you glanced between them and minjeong raised an eyebrow. “you’re inviting me?”

karina smiled. it was tight lipped and dangerous. “sure. we’re all friends now, right?” minjeong didn’t respond right away. “...i’ll think about it.” and just like that, she walked off.

you turned to karina. “was that necessary?”

“completely.” she said, already walking again. and of course you followed.

first period felt slower than usual. maybe because you were hyper aware of the way karina sat next to you, ankle lightly brushing against yours under the table. your mind wasn’t on the teacher. it was on her. and the fact that today... maybe you were going to initiate the plan. so when karina leaned over, voice low against your ear, "you zoning out?" you didn’t flinch. instead, you turned your head just enough that your nose almost brushed hers and smiled sweetly.

"you’re watching me again."

“i am.” she said simply, looking back at the board. you glanced down at your notebook. “you’re not very subtle.”

karina didn’t look at you, but her pen stilled. “you think so?”

“i know so.” she hummed. you flipped to a new page in your notebook, letting your pen hover.

“you look very pretty today.” now she looked at you. briefly.

"mhm?”

“yeah. i really like your hair.” karina didn’t respond. she just glanced down at your hand resting near hers and went back to writing like she didn’t hear you. but you saw it. the slight curve in her mouth, the slow drag of her pen. it was amusement. maybe interest.

“thanks.” she purred, eyes flickering down to your lips. you didn’t push. and for the rest of class, she didn’t say a word. but she didn’t move away either. when the bell rang, she stood first. cool and unbothered. “let’s go.”

by the time lunch rolled around, you found yourself walking beside minjeong again, the two of you weaving through the courtyard like nothing was weird. like she didn’t disappear right after karina’s invitation.

“so. you gonna come friday?” you said, nudging her lightly. minjeong just looked ahead. “you want me to?”

you shrugged. “i wouldn’t hate it.” she let out a quiet breath. not quite a laugh. “that’s the most lukewarm invitation i’ve ever gotten.” you smiled but didn’t say anything. there was a pause. you were about to speak when—

“y/n.” her voice. smooth. always at the wrong time. you turned to see karina already approaching, like she didn’t just interrupted something. no, like she didn’t care if she did.

“hey.” you said, slower this time. karina’s gaze flicked to minjeong for a second, unreadable. “can i steal you?”

minjeong crossed her arms, subtle but still not that subtle. you glanced between them, heartbeat a little too loud in your ears. karina tilted her head, a small smile playing at her lips. “i brought you something.”

“what?” karina held up a small brown bag. “double chocolate muffin. the good kind. from the café off main.”

you stared at the bag, then at her. “you left campus?”

“i was early.” minjeong let out a low scoff just under her breath. not enough to cause a scene, but enough to register. karina didn’t react. just held the bag out to you again. “you coming?” you hesitated, but only for a second before taking it.

“thanks.” you said, voice quiet. karina nodded once. then you looked back at minjeong. she didn’t say anything. didn’t stop you. she just watched you walk away. and as you followed karina across the quad, hand curled around the still warm muffin, you tried not to think too hard about the fact that she always, somehow, pulled you back to her.

you ended up at the usual spot, half tucked under karina’s arm on the bench while aeri and ning fought over something across from you. karina wasn’t saying much. just slowly picking the chocolate chips out of the muffin she bought you like it was hers now. you didn’t call her out for it.

“okay, okay. tonight.” aeri said suddenly, slapping her hands down on the table. “tonight.” ning echoed, mouth full.

“i’m thinking. we start hot but scary… and end with hot and scandalous.” aeri continued, lowering her voice like she was about to reveal a fbi level secret. ning laughed. “girl. you just wanna make out with someone.”

“no shame in that.” ning shrugged. then looked right at you with a glint in her eye.

“you’re bringing a costume, right y/n?” karina’s hand stilled against the muffin and you just stared. “costume?”

“duh. you can’t just show up ‘normal.’ it’s gotta be scary or hot. preferably both.” ning grinned. karina finally spoke. “she’ll figure it out.”

but ning wasn’t done. “i’m just saying. people are gonna go crazy tonight. last year, someone hooked up in the upstairs bathroom.”

aeri fake gagged. “in the pink guest room?”

“yup.” you raised an eyebrow. “wait. upstairs?”

ning nodded. “you’re allowed up there... if you’re invited.” karina’s fingers tapped the table once. sharp. deliberate.

“ning.”

ning smiled wider, like she loved being warned. karina turned to you, voice softer now. “you don’t have to worry about that.”

you looked at her, curious. “why not?”

karina tilted her head slightly, a slow smile curling at the edges of her mouth. “because you’ll already be where you’re supposed to be. with me.”

ning let out a groan. “god. you two are insufferable.”

“you’re just mad you’re single.” aeri laughed.

“single by choice!” ning shouted. you just shook your head, laughing under your breath. but when you glanced back at karina, she was already watching you. and she didn’t look like she was joking. not even a little bit.

the rest of the day dragged the way it always did when something bigger was happening. you barely processed half your classes and aeri yelling something about "outfits" across the parking lot. because you were thinking about tonight.

by the time the final bell rang, you needed air. you found minjeong near the side entrance. she looked up when you approached, face shifting through about five different emotions before she settled on neutral.

"hey.” you said.

"hey.” she echoed. for a second, neither of you moved. then you both started walking at the same time, falling into step without needing to talk about it. it was easy with minjeong. easier than it should’ve been, considering everything.

"you should come.” you said, breaking the silence. it felt refreshing to finally have a conversation with her today. but your voice was too gentle. you heard it and you hated it. minjeong looked at you like you were impossible. like you didn’t get it.

"you’re not gonna be able to fix it. not with me there.” she said.

you shoved your hands into your pockets. "maybe not. but i don’t want you alone, either."

minjeong just shook her head, stepping back onto the path. "i’ll think about it." it wasn’t a yes. but it wasn’t a no, either. you stood there for a second after she left, staring at the spot where she’d been, feeling heavier than you should. and when you finally turned, when you finally made your way to the front of the school—

karina was waiting. leaning against her car with her arms crossed and eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. you almost laughed. almost. until she pushed off the car and walked over.

"busy?" she asked, voice casual. too casual.

"talking to minjeong."

karina tilted her head like she was pretending to think about that. "hmm." you raised an eyebrow. "what?"

"nothing. you’re loyal. it’s cute.” she said, stepping closer and lowering her sunglasses enough that you could see the glint in her eyes. you flushed, hating how easily she could still make you react. the plan wasn’t going very well yet.

karina smiled then reached out, tugging your backpack strap like a leash, pulling you one step closer. "don’t worry. you won’t be thinking about her tonight.” she said, voice low, only for you. and then she let go, walking around you to the driver’s side like she didn’t just set something on fire between you. you stood there for half a second. then you followed. because somehow, even knowing everything you knew, you were still walking straight into her arms. and maybe you wanted to.

the drive was quiet at first. but not the awkward kind. karina lazily kept one hand on the wheel, glancing at you every so often like she was thinking things she wasn’t saying. you stared out the window, pretending not to feel it. halfway to your house, she finally spoke.

"what are you wearing tonight?"

“what?"

"for the party. you can’t just show up in a hoodie.” she tapped the wheel once, nails clicking.

"thanks for the vote of confidence.” you muttered, crossing your arms. karina just smiled, unbothered.

"i’m serious. it’s a theme."

"i’ll figure something out." karina didn’t respond right away. she just kept driving.

"i sent something to your house."

you turned your head, eyebrows lifting. "what?"

"you’ll see." you stared at her but she just smoothly pulled up in front of your place, putting the car in park. 

"i’ll see you tonight." she said simply, fingers drumming once against the wheel. you hesitated, halfway out the door.

"karina—"

"tonight." her voice cut you off. soft but firm. "wear it." you didn’t say anything else. you just shut the door and stood there, watching her drive away. and sitting there on the doorstep like a warning was a black box, tied with a silver ribbon. your name in her handwriting. you untied it with shaky fingers, peeled back the tissue paper and stared.

lace. straps. the outfit wasn’t just hot and scary. it was a problem. and you were going to wear it.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

you didn’t text her you were coming. didn’t say a word in the group chat. just got ready slowly like you weren’t already an hour late.

you wore the outfit karina sent. every strap, every inch of lace. but you added your own twist. a little jacket she didn’t pick. cat ears. eyeliner whiskers. and a thin black ribbon around your neck like a collar. you needed a costume and that was the point.

the uber dropped you off just past 10:30. the bass from the house hit before the front steps did. lights flashing behind the windows. laughter spilling out onto the lawn. someone was already throwing up in a bush. you didn’t go to the door right away. you took your time. karina had made you wait before and you were returning the favor. by the time you walked in, the party was deep. and the moment you stepped through the door, people turned.

you were late. and you were seen. someone gasped — maybe ning — and somewhere across the room, aeri shouted “OH my god.” but karina was near the stairs. leaning against the wall like she hasn’t been checking the door all night. glass in one hand, with an unreadable expression. but her grip on the railing tightened the second she saw you.

you felt it, but you didn’t go to her. not yet.

you let her watch you walk through the crowd. let her see someone stop you to talk. and when you finally made it close enough, just barely within arm’s reach, she stepped forward — quiet but intense.

“you’re late.”

“am i?”

her eyes dragged down your body like she paid for it. and, technically, she did.

“you wore it.”

“you sent it.” there was silence before karina spoke again. “take off the jacket.”

you raised an eyebrow. “you don’t wanna say hi first?”

“hi. now take it off.” you held her gaze. then slowly tugged at the jacket on your shoulders. 

"holy shit." aeri said before you could even take your jacket off. ning was behind her, eyes wide with her drink in hand. karina disappeared in an instant. “okay, you were holding out on us.”

you shrugged like you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. “was i?” aeri circled around you like you were on display, grabbing the edge of your jacket sleeve. “karina’s gonna lose her mind.”

"you say that like she hasn't already.” you muttered, eyes flicking toward the stairs where karina had just gotten pulled into a conversation by someone too rich and too loud to ignore. her eyes stayed on you as long as they could. but eventually, she had to look away. ning noticed it too. “...you planning something?”

you turned, expression calm but playful. “depends. you two wanna help?” aeri smiled immediately and ning leaned in. “always.”

you glanced over your shoulder, making sure karina was still busy. she was. but not for long. “okay. so. karina. she always watches. but she never really moves. she stays two steps ahead. like it’s a game she already won.” you murmured, turning back to them.

“because it is. and she always wins.” ning said.

“not tonight. tonight she’s gonna chase. i don’t want any of that. just... her.” you said. aeri raised an eyebrow. “you sure you can handle that?”

“not the point. i want her to feel something. enough to drop the act.” 

“I’m in. what’s the plan?” you leaned in. “simple. we make her jealous. curious. we make her wonder. and when she’s finally about to snap? that’s when i pull her upstairs.”

“and then?”

“then we see who she really is.” you were three sips into your drink when aeri leaned closer, fake casual.

“you know she didn’t used to be like this.” she said like she was commenting on the music. “like what?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

ning leaned her elbows on the counter next to you, swirling the drink in her cup. “like… karina.”

“possessive. obsessive. scary hot but scary scary.” aeri added.

“she was always hot. but she used to be fun.” ning said.

“she’s not fun now?”

ning gave you a look. “i mean… she’s fun.”

“but not in a ‘would lose a game of truth or dare without threatening someone’ way. she used to let people win.” aeri sighed. you raised an eyebrow. “so what changed?”

they exchanged a glance. you caught it. “what?” you asked.

“nothing. just… you kinda right. she used to be different.” she waved a hand. “before freshman year?” ning’s eyes narrowed like you were too clever for your own good before shrugging.

“it’s just… she wasn’t always like this. before freshman year, she was—” she paused. “different.”

aeri shot her a look. “ning.”

“i’m not saying anything bad!” ning insisted. then looked back at you. “just… there was someone before. yujin. and i think she lost her because she didn’t show how much she really wanted her until it was too late.” you frowned. “what happened?”

“ask her. but maybe don’t bring up yujin’s name unless you want a whole thing.” ning said, suddenly breezy again. you took another shot and spun in a slow circle. “well now i need to know everything.”

“you’ll get your moment. because she hasn’t taken her eyes off you since you walked in. even now. especially now.” ning said, nodding towards karina. you looked at her.

“she hasn’t even moved. i thought she would come over by now.” you said, sipping whatever mystery drink aeri handed you.

“oh, she’s watching. she’s doing that thing where she pretends not to care.” aeri muttered, eyes flicking past your shoulder. “which is funny considering the way she acts like she owns you in public.” ning added. 

you raised an eyebrow. “does she?”

“babe. she bought your outfit, picked your earrings and threatened that one guy that looked at you. she’s claiming you.” aeri said, smiling. “well, she’s gonna have to prove it.”

you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or the music or the adrenaline from knowing karina could walk up at any second, but your skin buzzed. and you didn’t have to wait long. you turned your head — and there she was. karina. still in that dark wine colored dress that clung in all the right places, dipped low in the back and slit high on the side. her hair was pulled back, earrings catching the light. it was the kind of look that made everyone in the room aware of her without her saying a word.

she stepped in close. close enough to make your heart pick up but not enough to make it obvious. her eyes moved slowly. the cat ears, the black ribbon tied like a collar, the slick fabric of your dress that she bought, shortened and sharpened into a sexy little costume. she smiled. slow and warm. but not soft.

"where was i?" karina’s eyes flicked to your neck, then back to your mouth. “you’re a problem.”

“you like it.”

“i do. maybe too much.” she didn’t hesitate. a moment passed, heavy in the air. then her voice dropped softer, only for you.

“i can’t decide what i like more. that you wore something i picked or that you made it look like this.” she murmured, eyes dragging over you again. your skin buzzed and aeri cleared her throat.

“okay. we’re gonna go… anywhere else.” she said loudly, grabbing ning’s wrist. they disappeared into the crowd again, half laughing. karina didn’t look away.

“come find me later?” she said, like it was both a question and a guarantee. you raised your brows, voice light while you pouted. “you’re leaving me? what if i don’t wanna?”

her jaw tensed just enough. but then she smiled again, tight lipped. “don’t make me come looking for you.”

and with that, she turned and walked back towards the hallway, already being pulled into conversation by someone else. but you felt it. her eyes? they never really left.

you settled at the kitchen counter once more, nursing a cup in your hand while you allowed your head to shake to the beat.

that was when a guy slowly approached you, oblivious to the pair of eyes burning onto your skin.

he was tall. broad. the kind of guy who wore chains he probably didn’t earn and smiled like he expected the world to swoon.

“hey. you new around here?” he said, already sliding into your space like he was invited.

you raised an eyebrow, sipping your drink. “do i look new?”

“no. but you look like something i want.”

you laughed once at his boldness.

his smile widened. “i’m yeonjun.”

of course he was. you knew him. everyone knew him. 

you let him talk. let him compliment your costume, call you the hottest catgirl he’s ever seen, try and touch your hand while you adjusted your ribbon.

and across the room, karina was watching.

she wasn’t pretending anymore.

aeri and ning came in from the kitchen with drinks in hand, glitter everywhere, and both of them already yelling.

“hello?? did you get a fan club?” aeri shrieked.

“oh my god. is that yeonjun?” ning said, mouth open.

“it is.” you muttered, barely glancing at him.

“he’s so hot but so dumb. literally everyone wanted to fuck him last year.” aeri whispered.

yeonjun, entirely oblivious, smiled at you. “they your friends?”

“sort of.” aeri smiled, looping her arm through yours.

yeonjun tried to say something else but was immediately ignored.

“okay, now turn your head three inches to the left. karina is locked in.” ning said, sipping her drink dramatically. you didn’t even have to look. you could feel it.

“she hasn’t blinked in like a full minute. she’s either gonna die or commit a crime.” aeri said. 

“so same as usual.” ning shrugged.

you turned back to yeonjun. “so, what are you supposed to be?”

“uh, myself. ‘cause you know…” he said, flexing slightly.

“god. he’s so lucky he’s pretty.” aeri whispered behind her drink.

you smirked and leaned a little closer to him, letting your hand rest on your own hip. not his. not yet.

you were about to respond until you saw minjeong in the corner of your eye. 

leaning against the archway like she was standing there for a while. cup in hand and gaze fixed on you.

your smile dropped.

yeonjun was still talking but you couldn’t hear him. you murmured something to him, an excuse maybe, and slipped away before he could stop you.

the noise of the party dulled the closer you got to her.

“hey.” you greeted. 

“hey yourself. so this is what happens when karina plays dress up.” she said, eyes scanning your outfit.

you smiled faintly. “don’t start.”

“not starting anything. just making an observation.” she said in an amused tone.

you both stood there for a second, the party pulsing behind you. then she nudged your cup with hers.

“so. how’s the plan going?” minjeong said a little quieter. your throat tightened slightly.

“still intact.”

“good. keep it that way.” she nodded once.

you stared at her. “you sound like you think i’m gonna slip up.”

minjeong shrugged. “no. i know how she works.”

your silence said more than it should’ve.

minjeong offered a small smile. “i’m not here to scare you. stop doing that.”

“what did i do?”

“you keep going silent on me.”

“what am i supposed to say?”

“i don’t know. what are you thinking?” minjeong shrugged. 

“i want her but i want the truth.”

“i think you can get it. just be careful. i like you and i’d rather not watch her snap you in half just because you forgot she’s not playing fair.”

her eyes softened.

“just don’t lose yourself in her. not all at once.”

before you could reply, she was already walking away to the sound of someone calling her name.

you stood there for a moment, letting minjeong’s words settle.

then—

“HELLO? y/n??”

aeri appeared in front of you out of nowhere, cheeks flushed and glitter in her lashes. one hand on her hip and the other was holding a drink. 

“we lost you to hot boy #3. and then we lost you again to the corner.” ning added.

you blinked, a little dazed. “just… catching up.”

aeri raised an eyebrow. “with minjeong?”

“she gave me a pep talk.” you said, vague on purpose.

ning grinned. “that sounds fake but okay.”

“is she still in love with karina?” aeri asked bluntly, sipping her drink.

“no? i don’t know!”

they exchanged a look. one of those unspoken ones.

aeri leaned in. “whatever. we need more shots.”

“absolutely. and dancing.” ning added, grabbing your hand.

you hesitated. “i don’t know if—”

“don’t care. you’re wearing lingerie and fake ears, you gotta give into the sluttiness.” aeri said sweetly.

“and. you know she’s watching. has been. not even blinking.” ning sang, already pulling you into the living room.

your stomach flipped. but you didn’t stop them.

the music hit harder as you stepped into the crowd again and ning handed you something you thought was vodka. you downed it with the kind of attitude that came from being halfway in control and halfway over it.

you were laughing, dancing, spinning under lights you didn’t recognize when yeonjun reappeared, hand brushing your waist like he belonged there.

“miss me?” he asked.

you didn’t answer yet.

but you didn’t stop him either. one hand brushed your hip like he had a right to.

“i thought you gave up easy.” you said.

he smiled. “i don’t give up when i want something.”

you rolled your eyes but didn’t move away. the liquor hit harder in your veins and your body swayed, loose and untethered. you let your arms drape around his shoulders. not because he deserved it. but because you knew she was watching.

somewhere in this house. somewhere behind you.

you didn’t need to see her to know. you could feel it. it was like a thread winding tight around your ribs. pulling you in.

yeonjun leaned closer, bold now, mouth near your ear. “you’re gorgeous.”

you laughed. and just before he could speak again, something shifted.

you turned your head slightly, enough to catch her.

karina. at the edge of the room.

she wasn’t leaning. she was moving. her eyes were locked on you and didn’t stray. not once.

you smile twitched.

yeonjun noticed none of it. “come upstairs with me?” he asked.

you looked back at him. “you think I’m that easy?”

“what?”

you stepped back just out of his reach. “sorry. not interested.”

he frowned. “you were just—”

but you were already turning. already walking away. and behind you through the crowd, karina was following. you didn’t rush or run. you wanted her to catch you.

each room you passed, you felt her closer. then a hand caught your wrist.

you stopped, turned, and she was there. 

“don’t do that again.” her voice was low and calm.

“what, dance?”

“flirt with him.”

you tilted your head, feigning innocence. “you weren’t there.”

“i’m always there.” karina stood there, eyes locked on yours. too still. too composed.

you tilted your head, gaze tracing her silhouette. “you gonna keep staring, or were you gonna say something?”

“didn’t want to ruin the show.”

you sipped your drink, letting the music pulse between you. “but you like watching, don’t you?”

karina stepped closer. “only when it’s you.”

a breath caught in your chest but you didn’t let it show. you just rolled your eyes.

“you should be careful.” karina finally murmured, voice almost gentle.

you smiled. “everybody says that.”

“you didn’t listen to them.”

“because i want you, jimin.” you sighed, exasperated. 

you could hear her suck in a breath.

“then let me have you.”

you didn’t let the shiver show. but it was there. “not until you learn how to be honest.”

karina’s expression cracked just for a second. before she could speak, a voice called your name.

you stepped back without looking away.

“come find me later. when you’re ready to stop treating me like something you can keep in your pocket, jimin.”

and then you were gone, slipping back into the crowd.

but karina? she was still standing there. like she just lost something she thought she already owned.

“where have you been?” ning asked, stepping in front of you as soon as you entered the kitchen. you didn’t answer right away. just took the bottle from aeri’s hand and drank straight from it.

“y/n. what happened?” aeri tilted her head, brows furrowed.

“karina happened.” you muttered, tossing the liquor back. the burn was dull and familiar. 

“did yall fuck that quick?” ning widened her eyes. 

you choked slightly on the drink. “what—no!”

“then why do you look like you just got slammed against a wall?” aeri said, tilting her head. 

“she followed me.”

“duh.” ning muttered.

“what did she say?” aeri asked, stepping closer. you could smell the alcohol on her lips. 

“told me not to flirt with yeonjun.”

aeri stared. “that’s it?“

“she said she’s always there.” you muttered, grabbing the bottle again and drinking straight from it.

“the obsession spiral. she’s so back.” ning sighed, fixing your hair. 

you drank again. “i told her no.”

both of them stared.

“i told her she can’t have me unless she learns how to be honest.”

“she might lose it.” aeri said.

“she said ‘let me have you.’ you exhaled, remembering the words.

ning actually put a hand on her chest. “i love when she getd dramatic like that.”

“that ain’t drama, that’s delusion. and the way you walked back in here?” aeri corrected.

“she just looked at me.” you said quietly.

“karina doesn’t… deal with rejection. not from people she wants.”

“and she wants you.” ning said, no teasing this time. but you all knew that.

you stared down into the bottle. “so what do i do?”

aeri shrugged. “the plan still on, isn’t it?”

you looked up at her before shrugging.

“then you need to dance. right now. before she finds you again.” ning said.

you tilted your head back and downed another one. “okay.”

ning grinned while dragging you to the living room. the music thumped louder and you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

the moment you began to dance aeri shoved a drink in your hand. ning grabbed the other. you were being moved like a doll, but you didn’t care. it was no different than being with karina.

“she’s watching.” aeri whispered in your ear.

you didn’t have to ask who.

“good.” you muttered, sipping the drink.

“that’s the spirit.” ning spun you into the center of the crowd like it was a runway.

you danced. it wasn’t graceful. it was sloppy, confident, and all hips. you were letting the liquor take over. aeri pressed behind you, light hands on your hips. phones were out and 

for a second, you forgot about karina. you forgot about the way she said “let me have you” like it was a prayer.

ning cackled, slipping another shot into your hand.

“i think i’m already drunk.” you said. but you threw it back anyway.

you turned your head and there she was. she was across the room with her back to the wall, arms crossed, eyes locked on you. cold and possessive.

you smiled at her.

“she looks like she’s gonna murder me.” you muttered.

“she wouldn’t. you’re her favorite toy.” ning shrugged.

another shot. you lost count.

someone grabbed your hand. you danced harder.

karina was still watching you like she wanted to kill you. or kiss you. or maybe both.

you blinked up at ning. “i think i’m gonna throw up.”

“nah. you’ll be fine.” ning said.

“she’s coming.” aeri whispered.

you didn’t look.

“what do i do?”

“let her suffer. that’s the plan, right?” ning said. it wasn’t. 

but you laughed anyway. loud and drunk.

karina took one step forward. you took two back into aeri’s arms before continuing to dance. 

and when you felt a firm grip on your wrist, you knew it was karina. it wasn’t painful, but it was enough to remind you that she wasn’t asking.

you didn’t fight her. you were too dizzy. too tired. too done.

she pulled you through the house like a thread, past rooms full of people, eyes flicking towards you with quiet curiosity. a drunk girl was being dragged off by her maybe girlfriend. or maybe not.

the moment the door shut behind you, karina finally let go.

“you’re drunk.”

you laughed. “really?”

karina didn’t laugh back. she stepped forward, arms crossed and jaw tense. her expression was unreadable.

“you shouldn’t be drinking like that.”

“you shouldn’t be controlling.”

her lip twitched. “i’m not trying to control you.”

“bullshit.”

“y/n—”

“don’t ‘y/n’ me. can you just be honest? just for once? if you were honest and did this the right way, then we wouldn’t even be here.” you snapped, stepping back.

karina stood across from you, chest rising and falling. the room was too quiet, and the bass from the party outside thudded faintly through the walls.

“you’re drunk. you’re not thinking straight.” she said again, quieter this time.

“stop using that as an excuse. i’m drunk, not stupid.” you dragged your hands down your face. “god, you’re so hot it actually pisses me off.”

karina stared. “what?”

“you— you walk around acting like you don’t actually care and everyone’s telling me not to fall for it but then say shit like ‘let me have you’ and stalk me around parties and get all possessive. like— i don’t know what’s real.”

“it’s all real. everything i’ve said. everything i’ve done.” she said, stepping closer. her voice dropped, softer now. 

you laughed bitterly. “even the controlling part?”

“i’m not controlling—”

“you are. you want me close but only on your terms. you get jealous, you get weird when i talk to other people, you talk like i belong to you, karina.”

she didn’t deny it. she just stared at you, expression unreadable.

“i just want honesty. even if it sucks. even if it hurts. stop trying to play me.” you said, voice softer now.

“i’m not playing you. but you want honesty?” she paused. “then let’s be honest.”

you watched her warily.

“my mom told me. about the transfer.” she said.

your stomach turned.

“she said your dad’s affair got out. that your mom wants a fresh start. how quick they pulled you out.”

the silence that followed was suffocating.

your throat burned. “you had no right—”

“she’s the counselor, y/n.”

“yeah? and you had no right to use that against me. i don't have to tell you everything.” you backed up, bumping into the velvet chair behind you. “what, you’re just gonna throw my worst moment at me when you’re losing control?”

“i’m not trying to win or lose—”

“yes you are!” you raised your voice. “you always are. this is a game to you. a way to get people to obey you.”

karina’s jaw clenched. “no. you’re different.”

“then treat me like i’m different! you keep saying that but all i get is secrecy and obsession and manipulation. and— i think i like it. fuck, i think i like you so much it’s fucking me up, but i can’t keep doing this if you won’t give me anything real.”

the silence stretched long in between you. karina didn’t move.

“i could be good for you. if you let me.” she said, almost in a whisper.

you exhaled. “i don’t want the version of you you think i want. i want the real you. even if it’s ugly. even if you’re scared. i don’t want to be someone you collect and protect and keep quiet. i want to matter.”

“you do matter. that’s why i’m trying so hard.” karina said.

“then stop using what you know to control me. stop hovering. stop acting like knowing me means owning me.”

she scoffed. “i only know because i care.”

“and i’m telling you right now— you’re gonna lose me if you keep going like this.”

she didn’t respond.

“it’s been a month of being dragged, watched, and decoded like i’m just a new file in your brain. don’t you think i’m tired?”

and then quieter, you added. “i’m not yujin.”

karina froze.

your voice trembled. “i don’t care who she was. but i’m not her. you don’t get to rewrite what you lost with someone else through me.”

she stepped forward again, slower now. “i know.”

“do you?”

“i do. you’re not her. you’re you.” she said.

you shook your head. “then let me be me.”

“i keep trying to convince myself you’re just intense. that this is just your form of affection.” you said slowly, eyes on her. she stayed quiet.

“but sometimes i look at you and it’s like you already know how this ends. like you already planned ten steps ahead of me.”

her silence was confirmation.

“and that scares me.” you admitted quietly.

karina’s eyes flickered with shame, maybe. or guilt. or something colder underneath. the calculation that she always tried to hide behind softness.

“i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“maybe not. but you did. you treat me like a replacement for whatever you lost.”

karina swallowed. “i never wanted that.”

“then why do i feel like i’m being studied?”

she took a step forward and you took one back.

“don’t. not this time.” you said.

her head tilted. “then would you rather i ignored you? like your parents did? like your friends did back home when everything fell apart?”

you froze.

that was a low blow. and she knew it.

she saw it in your face. and still, she didn’t take it back. she only stepped closer.

“i’m the only one who’s seen the whole you and stayed. doesn’t that mean something?”

you stared at her. “you’re not staying. you’re watching. waiting to see how i break so you can catch the pieces before anyone else.”

her lip twitched like she wanted to deny it. but she couldn’t.

“i didn’t ask for this. i didn’t ask for the secrets or the way you make me feel insane or the fact that i still want you even when i know i shouldn’t.”

she moved again. you didn’t.

“you still haven’t told me the truth about yujin. about what happened. why you can’t let go.”

“i didn’t want to scare you.”

“you already did.”

the words hung between you, heavier than anything else.

karina’s voice dropped. “you think i’m too much now. but you didn’t seem scared when you kissed me. or when you stayed the night. or when you begged me not to stop touching you.”

you flinched.

she stepped even closer, now inches from you. “you weren’t scared then. you liked it. you liked being known.”

“don’t twist this.” you whispered.

“i’m not. you’re the one running because i care in other ways people can’t.” she said. 

“that’s not love, karina. that’s control.” you said, backing away.

“you call it control.”

you almost laughed. “karina. you’re on your own planet.”

but she didn’t answer. instead, she stepped forward. and then, without warning or hesitation, dropped to her knees.

you froze.

“karina.”

she looked up at you from the floor, eyes locked on yours like you were the only thing keeping her down to earth.

she didn’t look pathetic. she looked intentional. poised. like she thought about this before. she didn’t reach for you right away. just stared up, head tilted slightly like she was memorizing you from this angle. her eyes were clear. soft in a way that made your throat burn.

“you scare me.” she admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “the way you see me. the way you make me want to be different.”

you hated how that made you pause. how it made you ache.

“i know i come off cold. calculated. maybe i am. maybe that’s what happens when you already lost someone once and promised yourself you’d never feel that again. but you—” she looked up, slowly. “you make me feel like i don’t have to be that version of myself.”

you looked away, afraid of what was happening to your resolve.

“i don’t want to own you,” she said and her voice cracked just slightly. “i just want to keep you. to protect the only thing that’s made me feel real again.”

god. she was good.

you wanted to believe her. you almost did.

“karina…” your voice trembled. “i don’t know if you’re saying this because it’s true, or because you know i’ll stay if you do.”

her smile was sad and quiet. “maybe both.”

and somehow, that honesty hurt the most.

she reached up slowly. her fingers ghosted over your wrist like she was asking for permission without words. you didn’t pull away.

“don’t leave.” she said it so quietly that it cracked something in you.

you swallowed. her hands moved slowly, reaching for yours like they were something sacred. she waited, and when you didn’t stop her, she slid her fingers over your palm, lifting it gently. her lips pressed against the back of your hand, soft and slow, lingering like she didn’t want to let go. 

and for a moment, you almost faltered. you almost fell again. that was how she worked, sweet enough to confuse you, but sharp enough to keep you in check.

but before you could respond —

knock knock.

the door creaked. “yo.” ning’s voice cut in. too casual. “am i interrupting… something?”

you stepped back instantly. like you had woken up.

karina didn’t even turn to look. “leave.”

“okay damn.” ning’s voice faded as the door shut again.

but the moment had cracked. fractured in the way that all glass eventually does.

“i have to go.” you said, your voice small.

karina stood slowly, no longer trying to stop you. but she didn’t look surprised. only calm again. composed. a little sad. which made it harder to leave. her silence was the cruelest part.

but you did anyway. and your hands were already shaking as you texted minjeong.

you woke up slow. heavy. like the night before had pressed its whole body against you and never really left.

there was sunlight pouring in through the curtains, soft and too gentle for how you felt. the sheets were warm and unfamiliar  but they didn’t smell like her.

your throat was dry. your head was pounding. your chest? worse.

because it remembered everything.

you laid there for a long time in the quiet. wrapped in the comfort of someone else’s house and the ache of your own mistakes.

minjeong’s guest bed. in her extra blanket.

not karina’s arms. not karina’s bed. not karina.

you hated that that mattered.

the scent of lavender came from the pillow. there was a water glass beside the bed, half full, and two advil on a folded napkin. 

your phone buzzed under your pillow. you ignored her.

your body still remembered her. the grip. the way she’d looked at you like you were the most infuriating thing she had ever wanted.

you rolled onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. your body ached in strange places—your temples, your chest, the hollow spot behind your ribs where her voice used to echo.

you didn’t know what time it was. you didn’t care. you just existed in the hangover and the heat of her memory.

then the buzz came again. 6 texts. 2 missed calls. 1 voice message.

none from her.

but you opened it anyway. 

ning

ummmm she ended the party

literally pulled the aux mid song.

likeee everyone out

no yelling n no emotion

your chest tightened.

aeri

girl when i say SCARY…

haven’t seen her like that since the thing with yujin

she didn’t even say ur name but we all knew

the blood drained from your face.

aeri

she went upstairs after

didn’t even look at anyone

you stared at your phone. you knew she was upstairs probably replaying every word you said. probably memorizing the exact angle you looked at her when you told her she was controlling. probably blaming herself. probably blaming you more.

you imagined her sitting on her bed, scrolling through something that reminded her of you. or maybe nothing at all.

you could still hear it from last night:

“you weren’t scared then. you liked it. you liked being known.”

and fuck, maybe you did.

maybe that was the worst part. that she looked at you like she already knew how this ended. that she kissed you like she built the ending to your story herself.

“morning.” minjeong’s voice came soft from the doorway.

you turned your head but didn’t speak. she walked in, still in sweats while holding a mug of tea.

“i thought you might need something warm.”

you didn’t answer. just reached for it with a quiet nod. 

she sat beside you, watching the way your hand curled around the mug.

“you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” she said.

you laughed under your breath. “i think i might’ve dated one.”

minjeong tilted her head. “you didn’t date her.”

“i know. she ended the party. didnt say anything. she’s probably not even mad.”

“she’s probably hurting. in her own twisted way.” minjeong said. you finished the tea, feeling your body start to thaw.

you finished the tea in a few gulps. “she always been like this?” you asked.

minjeong leaned back, stretching her legs out beside the bed. “kind of. not always in the scary way. back when we were freshmen, she was… a lot more normal. we were close.” you glanced at her, the word close sticking.

“you know she was captain of the volleyball team. people liked her, but it wasn’t… like now. she was just kind of cool and serious and good at stuff. intimidating, sure, but not on purpose. she laughed more.”

minjeong smiled faintly at the memory. “sophomore year, she bleached her hair and suddenly half the school had a crush on her. everyone started looking at her different. like she was untouchable. even the teachers. i think she liked it.”

you tilted your head. “what about you?”

minjeong shrugged. “i liked her before that. when she still let herself be soft. when it wasn’t all about control. i guess i just fell into it? she used to let me hang around after practice. we would talk. sometimes she would drive me home. it wasn’t anything, but at the time it felt like everything.” you nodded slowly.

“i think i mistook her attention for affection. but karina gives her attention very… strategically. and you start bending around it.” 

“she hurt her shoulder junior year and stopped playing. she didn’t tell anyone at first. i found out, told jiwon, and i guess she figured out eventually.” minjeong continued.

“that’s why you guys stopped talking?” you asked, quietly.

“yeah. she doesn’t handle that very well.” she said, voice low. but you knew that. 

“but hey. i got a text from jiwon.” minjeong changed the subject, making your ears perk up. “she said that her parents couldn’t afford the cost anymore.”

“just like that?”

“yeah. she’s already packed and ready to leave wednesday.” there was a pass of silence between you two.

“she got on her knees.”

minjeong looked at you. “what?”

you stared out at the grass. “last night. when i told her she was controlling.”

you took a slow breath, unsteady. “she just… dropped. right there. like it wasn’t a performance. like it was a decision. like she knew what she was doing and still wanted me to see her that way.” minjeong was quiet.

“she didn’t touch me, not at first.” you said. “just looked up at me like… i don’t know.” your voice cracked a little. “and then she reached for my hand.”

minjeong nodded for you to go on, eyes careful. “she kissed it. twice. once like she needed to remember me. and then again like she wanted me to forget everything else.”

“and the way she said things… like she wasn’t trying to win me over. just trying not to lose me. she told me i scare her.” you let out a breathy laugh, bitter. “me. like i’m the one with power.”

minjeong looked down, biting the inside of her cheek.

“she said i made her want to change.” you said softly. “but it felt like a test. like she wanted me to forgive her just because she knew how to sound honest.”

you stared down at your hands. they still felt like hers.

“then ning came in.” you added, voice distant. “door cracked open like a fucking movie scene. she saw us and dipped so fast.”

“and you left.” minjeong finished for you.

you nodded. “i told her i had to go. she didn’t even stop me.” your eyes stung.

“i still wanted to stay.” you admitted. “i think that’s the worst part.”

minjeong looked at you then, eyes soft but firm. “no it isn’t.” 

“it makes me hers.”

“don’t go back. not yet." she said.

you leaned into her shoulder just slightly. and this time, when your phone buzzed, you didn’t look.

the second you stepped in the school building, you felt it.

that weird tension that came when something major happened and the walls were still pretending nothing changed.

students were moving around like normal, laughing, running to class, shoving lockers shut, but everything felt too loud. and then you saw her.

karina was leaning against the lockers, phone in hand. she was standing between ning and aeri like nothing had happened. like she didn’t look you in the eye three nights ago and say things you can’t unhear. like she didn’t ask you not to leave her, and then let you walk away anyway.

you didn’t even get a glance. not a twitch. not a blink in your direction. just her mouth curling at something that ning said. her arms crossing in that familiar way, eyes locked on anything but you. you slowed down.

“don’t.” minjeong said softly, already seeing the shift in your face.

you turned towards her like you haven’t been staring. “what?”

she looked at you for a second too long. then she opened the front door, holding it long enough for you to pass through. the main hallway hit you with a mix of perfume and the citrus floor cleaner the janitors used.

you barely noticed. you were still focused on karina. “she’s pretending like i don’t exist. did you see that?” you muttered once you were both inside.

minjeong walked in step beside you, adjusting her backpack like she was trying to stay casual. “i saw it.”

you passed a group of juniors huddled by the vending machines. someone laughed too loud and your stomach flipped.

“she didn’t even acknowledge me.”

“she’s doing what she thinks keeps her in control. that’s kind of her whole thing.” minjeong said, glancing sideways at you.

you kept walking towards your locker, not really focused on where your feet were taking you. “well it’s working. i feel like i got erased.”

minjeong sighed. “how do you actually feel?”

you leaned against your locker, the cold metal grounding you. “like i miss her. which is stupid.”

“it’s not stupid.”

“i thought that she really liked me. and now she won’t even look at me.”

minjeong gave you a long, quiet look. students passed around you, some bumping shoulders, some glancing curiously. but you didn’t care.

“she does. that’s the problem.”

you swallowed hard. then you opened your locker with shaking hands. 

“she’s just not good at liking people in a… normal way.” minjeong added softly.

you didn’t respond. you couldn’t. because she was right. and you still wanted to be destroyed. 

you weren’t ready for first period. you told yourself that you were, that you could do this — that it was just another class, just another morning, just another girl.

but it wasn’t. not when the girl was her.

you stepped through the classroom door like you didn’t spend the walk building yourself back up from the pieces she left you in. like you weren’t still thinking about friday. 

you looked up — and there she was.

karina.

already seated, back straight, posture perfect, like always. she was angled toward the window, sunlight catching the edge of her cheekbone, making her look carved from marble. her expression was calm and composed. bored even. her fingers tapped against her notebook, idle and distracted.

she looked like someone who had never broken.

who had never begged.

who didn’t kiss you like you were air and she was drowning in an endless sea.

and that was when the first crack formed in your chest.

you slowed your steps. something in you was still hoping that she’d feel you. tbat she’d turn. that some invisible thread between you might tug hard enough to make her look.

she didn’t. not even a flicker. just stayed there, perfectly still, like you were nothing more than another body passing by.

you took your seat beside her — the same seat you filled for weeks now, the one she used to glance at before class, used to lean toward mid lecture, and used to brush her fingers against like it was an accident.

now? nothing. she didn’t shift away from you. but she didn’t acknowledge you either. and that absence was worse than if she’d flinched. 

you glanced at her hands. you wanted to speak. you wanted to say her name. to whisper it the way she used to whisper yours when no one else was listening.

so you did. quietly. barely.

“karina.” she didn’t move. didn’t blink. didn’t even breathe differently. you felt your stomach drop. like something sacred had been lost. you said her name again. a little louder this time. like maybe she didn’t hear you. like maybe this was all just a misunderstanding.

still — nothing.

you sat there, hands folded in your lap, chest aching in that awful, familiar way. the one that doesn’t come from heartbreak, but from the silence that follows it. the teacher started talking. something about metaphor. something about illusions. something about how language can hide pain. it was almost funny. like the universe was in on the joke now.

you didn’t take notes. you just stared down at your paper, eyes unfocused, hands still. the urge to cry was heavy behind your eyes, but you didn’t let it win.

not here. and especially not next to her. not when she wouldn’t even give you the decency of a glance. your throat felt tight.

you turned your head just slightly, enough to see her in your peripheral. her mouth twitched at something the teacher said. the little smirk that was always on her face when she caught an inside joke that the rest of the class missed. you stared at her profile, memorizing it all over again. the sharpness of her jaw, the way her lashes curled slightly up at the ends, the way her lip twitched when she was holding something back.

but you didn’t know what she was holding back now. you didn’t even know if she cared anymore. maybe she never did. maybe she did too much.

god, you missed her. missed her so much you wanted to scream. but instead you sat there, painfully still, biting the inside of your cheek just to feel something that wasn’t her absence.

halfway through the class, your leg brushed hers. just barely. not enough to matter. not enough to be anything but coincidence.

but still. your heart stopped. but she didn’t move. she didn’t shift. she didn’t do anything. and that was the cruelest part. because even her nothing felt like a decision.

when the bell rang, you jolted. you looked at her before she could stand, desperate just for a moment. for something. for a glance. for a word. for proof that this wasn’t a dream.

she stood up, packed up, and walked away. no hesitation and no goodbye.

the second you stepped out of the classroom, you let out a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding. your heart had been holding out for a glance, a twitch, any sign — and you got absolutely nothing.

it was forty eight minutes of pretending you weren’t sitting right beside her. forty eight minutes of her not looking at you, not speaking to you, and not even acknowledging you existed in the same dimension.

and still. still, you found yourself staring at the way her fingers tapped the edge of her notebook. the way she pushed her hair behind her ear when she was focusing. you could practically recreate the sound of her sigh when she was bored. you hated how you noticed all of it. but you hated even more how you missed it.

you didn’t even realize you stopped walking until minjeong showed up beside you, sliding into your space like she had been watching you the whole time.

“you okay?” she asked.

you blinked like you were just waking up from a long sleep. “no.”

minjeong nodded once and leaned against the lockers. “she didn’t say a word. she didn’t even look at me. like i was never there.” you muttered, leaning beside her.

“she’s the goat at acting unbothered. it’s how she wins.” minjeong said, standing beside you with her arms crossed.

you scoffed. “well congrats to her. she’s winning.”

“i shouldn’t care this much. i really shouldn’t.” you said suddenly.

“maybe not. but you do.” minjeong said.

“i feel pathetic. i know she’s manipulative. i know she plays games. i know she’s probably never been in something real and i’m stupid for thinking it was.”

“i—“

“and i still want her.” minjeong hesitated, then nodded like she expected that answer. “i know.”

“it’s so dumb, right?” you laughed. “like, she’s probably already moved on. she has ning and aeri and her whole little kingdom and i’m over here acting like i just got ghosted by the girl i thought i’d get married to.”

minjeong turned fully to face you. “you’re not dumb. she’ll come back.” she said quietly.

“she already left.” before minjeong could respond, the classroom door behind you swung open. karina stepped out with her head high and face unreadable. she didn’t even scan the hallway. like she already knew exactly who was watching.

ning and aeri somehow followed behind. aeri was fixing her lip gloss in the reflection of the fire extinguisher case and ning said something that made karina smile. just barely.

you stood straighter before you could stop yourself and karina walked right toward you. your heart thudded. and then— 

she brushed past minjeong’s shoulder. it wasn’t hard, but it wasn’t subtle either. minjeong went rigid beside you. you just froze.

karina didn’t even glance at you. didnt slow down either. just kept walking. “wow.” you whispered. minjeong exhaled slowly, eyes on karina’s back. “she’s annoying.”

you didn’t say anything. because you were too busy thinking about how the smell of her perfume still lingered in the air like a ghost.

“don’t say it.” minjeong warned but it was too late.

“i still want her.”

minjeong looked at you like she wanted to throw something — but then her face softened. “okay. then we’ll figure it out. together.” you looked down the hallway again.

you knew better. but you still wanted her anyway. and that was the worst part.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

lunch felt like detention. you and minjeong sat at her usual table near the back where the sunlight filtered through the trees and made everything feel a little too pretty for how awful your insides felt.

your tray was untouched. you picked at your food but mostly just peeled the label off your water bottle.  minjeong was halfway through a fruit cup, watching you like you were going to die at any moment.

“okay.” she said finally, chewing slow. “what’s going on in that head of yours?” you didn’t answer right away. just stared out across the lawn where karina sat with ning and aeri. she had her sunglasses pushed up on her head and was sipping from a little matcha bottle. 

you wanted to scream. or cry. or maybe just lie down with your face in the grass.

instead, you spoke. “i want to talk to her.”

minjeong paused mid bite. “no.”

“just for a second.”

“no.”

“i just want to—”

“no.”

you tore your eyes away from karina to look at her. “you don’t even know what i was gonna say.”

“you were gonna walk over there and say something stupid like ‘can we talk?’ or ‘was any of it real?’ or ‘why are you acting like i’m invisible?’ and then she was gonna stare up at you with those bambi eyes and say something cryptic that makes you feel like you’re insane.”

you stared. “okay, that’s… exactly what I was gonna do.”

“i know.” minjeong muttered. “because i did it. twice. and both times i ended up crying in the art room and texting my ex from eighth grade.” you dropped your head onto your folded arms and groaned into your hoodie sleeve. “why is she like this?”

“because she doesn’t know how to just like someone.” you turned your head to look at her. “it’s not even that i want her to explain. i just— i don’t know. i just want her to look at me. like i matter. like i’m not some phase she already grew out of.”

minjeong’s face softened. “you do matter.”

“not to her.”

“that’s not true.”

“the  why hasn’t she said anything? why is she pretending i don’t exist?”

minjeong looked down at her tray for a second. “because she’s scared.”

“of what? me? i’m literally the one crying into my lunch.”

“she’s scared that if she looks at you, it’ll undo her. and she’s spent years building a version of herself that doesn’t fall apart for anyone.”

gou sat back up, arms wrapped around yourself. “so what? i’m just supposed to sit here and wait for her to be brave?”

“i’m not saying wait. i’m saying… don’t walk into the lion’s den. with raw meat.”

you frowned. “what if i don’t care anymore? what if i’d rather be hurt than ignored?”

minjeong shook her head slowly. “that’s not power, y/n. that’s a slow motion heartbreak.”

you didn’t respond. your eyes wandered again, almost involuntarily, back to karina. she was laughing at something that aeri said. her hand rested loosely on her knee. she hasn’t looked your way once.

“i miss her so much i feel sick.” you whispered.

“i know.”

you didn’t speak for a while after that. the wind moved gently through the trees, scattering cherry blossom petals onto your table.

“i think she misses you too.” minjeong added after a long pause.

you looked at her. “then why won’t she say it?”

“because if she does, she’ll have to admit she messed up. and yu jimin doesn’t apologize. she rewrites the narrative.”

you pressed your lips together. “i want her to miss me. but not like this.” you said.

minjeong reached across the table and squeezed your hand. “remember. don’t go to her yet.”

you hesitated. swallowed down everything desperate sitting in your throat.

“okay.” you whispered.

but when karina stood up a minute later, tossing her hair back and laughing at something that ning said, your eyes followed her all the way across the courtyard.

and when she didn’t look back? it hurt anyway.

the day dragged. it felt like being underwater. every class was a blur of muffled voices and moving people, and you were just floating through it. you kept checking your phone even though you knew there’d be nothing from her.

you were used to the intensity. the eye contact that burned, the touches that lingered, the possessive glances from across the room. even when she was being cold, it was calculated. a push and pull. a game.

but now it was absence. silence so loud that it made you ache. she hasn’t looked at you once. not in the hallways. not in any period. not when she passed by your locker with aeri, close enough that you could smell her perfume.

not once.

you caught yourself turning around too quick when you thought you heard her laugh. you stopped breathing every time someone said her name in passing. you wanted to hate her. but really, you just miss her.

by the time the final bell rang, your chest felt hollow.

you stayed in your seat after class, pretending to dig through your backpack just so you wouldn’t have to walk into the hallway crowd yet. just so you wouldn’t have to see her leaving without even looking back. again.

eventually, you forced yourself up and wandered down the hall with your head low and hoodie up. your phone buzzed once in your pocket, but it was nothing that mattered.

minjeong found you by the benches out front, sitting on the concrete with your arms around your knees like a sulking child. she didn’t say anything at first. just plopped down beside you with a loud sigh.

“is she still pretending you’re air?” you nodded. the two of you sat in silence for a while, watching cars pull in and students walk out. the sky was starting to go gold at the edges, the sun bleeding into soft pink. you used to love this hour. now it just made your stomach hurt.

“i thought maybe she would chase me. or at least try.” you admitted. “she will. but only when she realizes she doesn’t know how to win without you.” minjeong said.

you swallowed. “and what if she doesn’t?”

“then that’s not someone you want to spend your heart on.”

that sentence settled between you both. it was heavy and real. you nodded slowly. “okay.”

minjeong stood up and held out her hand. “come on. let’s get food before you start crying.”

you let her pull you up. you didn’t feel better. not really. but at least you weren’t sitting alone anymore. at least someone still looked at you like you mattered. you take one last glance toward the student lot. karina wasn’t there.

she left without you. again. and it still hurt. even though you knew it would.

two days. forty eight hours. one hundred and forty four thousand seconds. you weren’t counting or anything. it was terrifying how quickly pain could become routine. you walked into school with minjeong like nothing was wrong. like it was just another day. like the ghost of someone you used to mean something to wasn’t standing ten feet away, laughing at something ning whispered to her.

the worst part? you were still trying to get her attention.

you shouldn’t have put this outfit on. you told yourself that like three times in the mirror before leaving the house. you told yourself that it didn’t matter. that she wouldn’t care. that she wouldn’t look.

but you still wore it. your top was a little shorter than usual, hem brushing just above your waistband. your hair was done and you even had on makeup. it wasn’t full revenge dress level, but it was enough to make your pulse quicken when you walked past a window.

minjeong didn’t say anything at first when she saw you that morning. she just raised an eyebrow. “you tryna be subtle, or…?”

“shut up. i didn’t even think about it.” you muttered, cheeks already warning. she gave you a look. “mhm.”

karina looked good. of course she did. she always did when you didn’t want her to.

minjeong’s hand brushed yours as you froze halfway through the doorway. “keep walking.”

“i wasn’t gonna stop.” you muttered but your voice sounded fragile.

“uh huh.”

you forced your feet to move.

“she didn’t look at me.” you said once you passed by, low enough that only minjeong could hear.

“she hasn’t looked at you in two days.” she replied. it wasn’t unkind. 

“yeah. well… it still sucks.”

minjeong didn’t say anything for a moment. you could feel her glancing at you sideways, but you didn’t meet her eyes.

minjeong finally spoke, voice softer now. “you know this isn’t really about you, right?”

“what?”

“she’s not ignoring you because you did something wrong. well— i know for a fact she’s ignoring you because she’s trying not to fall apart in front of you.”

“then why does she look so fine?” you snapped, louder than you meant to.

a freshman walking by gave you a weird look. you bit your tongue.

minjeong touched your arm gently. “because that’s her thing. she controls the narrative.”

you stopped at your locker. “well she’s doing a damn good job.”

“she’s watching you, you know. she just waits until you’re not looking.”

you laughed bitterly. “i am looking. constantly.”

minjeong smiled. “i know.”

you didn’t say anything. you just leaned your forehead against the locker, trying not to feel every emotion pressing against your body.

“she’s ignoring me like i never meant anything. i feel invisible.”

minjeong’s voice dropped. “you’re not.” you pulled your books out and closed the locker too fast. the bang made you flinch.

“i just want her to talk to me. even if it’s just to say she hates me for walking away.” you said quietly, but minjeong didn’t respond. you walked toward first period with the girl you couldn’t stop chasing ignoring you like it was her job.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

first period was the same as yesterday. 

you wanted her to look at you so bad it hurt. you wanted her to lean over and whisper some sarcastic comment under her breath. you wanted her to bump your shoulder again and let it linger. you wanted anything. but she gave you nothing.

and when the bell finally rang, she stood up smooth and fast, like she was escaping a crime scene or something. she walked out without a single glance back. and you sat there wondering how the hell you were supposed to keep surviving this.

you didn’t even wait for the bell to stop echoing. the second the door opened, you were on your feet, grabbing your bag and slipping into the hallway like you could outrun the ache sitting in your chest.

but of course minjeong was already waiting outside, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and that quiet concern all over her face.

you didn’t even say anything. just walked straight into her side and sighed so hard it felt like your lungs gave up. she straightened a little. “that bad?”

you blinked at the ceiling. “she didn’t even blink.” minjeong nodded slowly then nudged your elbow. “wanna walk?”

you did. so you walked, blending into the current of students flowing through the hallway. you were pretending your stomach wasn’t doing somersaults every time someone passed by who even vaguely looked like her. it was stupid. but everything felt kind of stupid now.

you cleared your throat. “i’m even starting to miss ning and aeri.” minjeong laughed. “you hated ning. she scared the hell out of you.”

“she still does. but at least she talked to me.” you said. minjeong raised her eyebrows like she was trying not to laugh again. “talked to you or tormented you?”

you cracked a weak smile. “same difference.” there was a moment of silence for a while before you spoke again. “i don’t know. i just… i miss them. like, their weird dynamic. the whole table. it was dramatic and terrifying, but it felt like something. and now it’s just gone.”

“because karina made herself the center of it. and she’s decided to disappear, so that means everyone around her does too.” minjeong said. you didn’t respond. you couldn’t. because she was right.

karina wasn’t just ignoring you. she was deleting herself. from your days, your space, and your routine. like she was trying to leave a karina shaped hole behind just to see how long it would take you to collapse into it. and it was working.

the warning bell rang and you both slowed in front of your lockers. minjeong opened hers and looked over at you. “do you wanna skip lunch? just us. outside. behind the gym or something.” you looked down the hallway.

somewhere, karina was laughing at something ning said. walking too close with aeri. replacing you like it was nothing. and still, some part of you wanted to chase her down the hall and just ask her why.

“no. i think i wanna be here she can see me.” you said. minjeong looked at you for a second. “you sure?”

“no.” you admitted. but part of you still had hope. 

but now, walking into the cafeteria beside her, that hope felt heavier. especially when you caught sight of them. her table. karina was already there, leaning back in her seat like she owned the air. one arm was hanging lazily across the backrest, fingers tapping against the table in some rhythm. ning was mid story like always. karina didn’t look at you. but ning did.

her eyes flicked over your outfit, brows rising with an amused kinda interest. she leaned toward karina to say something, and you saw karina’s fingers still for half a second. her jaw twitched. but she didn’t turn. she didn’t look. you hated that it still got to you.

“she saw you.” minjeong said under her breath, walking just a step behind you now. “she didn’t.”

“she did. i know her. she noticed you the second you walked in.” minjeong insisted. you kept your eyes on the empty table near the windows. “then why won’t she look?”

“because looking at you would mean admitting you still have that effect.” you didn’t respond. just sank into the seat and tried not to look back. tried not to give in to that aching part of you that wanted to know if karina was still leaning back or if she had shifted forward. if her arms were still folded or if she crossed her legs like she always did when something made her tense.

you picked at the edge of your tray, your food untouched. minjeong watched you for a long moment before sighing. “y/n.”

“what?”

“you look hot. like hot hot.” you stared. “okay?”

“and you’re sitting here acting like the world ended.” you cracked a small smile. “it kind of did.”

minjeong didn’t answer. but a moment later, her foot tapped yours under the table.

“she’s gonna break. i don’t know when, but she will.” she said. you nodded like you believed her but your eyes drifted back towards karina anyway. just for a second. that was enough. because she still wasn’t looking. and you still couldn’t stop hoping she would.

lunch went on without her. without them. without ning’s loud laugh echoing off the walls or aeri’s sarcastic commentary. without karina’s voice saying your name like it was always supposed to be hers. you hated that you noticed the difference. that the silence at your table felt too huge in contrast. you hated that you were still hoping she would look over.

you saw karina shift in your peripheral. she was standing now. her tray was picked up and ning was still talking while aeri followed behind. karina walked slowly as if she had all the time in the world. as if you weren’t holding your breath without meaning to.

she passed by your table. and for a second — a millisecond — her shoulder barely angled toward you. you could’ve sworn that she hesitated. that her fingers clenched around the tray just slightly. but she didn’t stop. didn’t look. minjeong kicked you lightly under the table. “you okay?”

“i’m fine.” you whispered. you weren’t.

you waited five more minutes after they left before standing up, pretending to throw your trash away. minjeong followed and you both drifted towards the side hallway that led to the vending machines. and that’s where it happened. you turned the corner too fast. so did she. 

karina. it was just you and her. 

she froze a step too late, nearly walking straight into you. her tray was gone now. she had a bottle of water in her hand and a blank expression on her face, but her eyes finally landed on yours for the first time in days and everything stopped.

you felt your heart slam hard against your chest, like it forgot how to beat without her. like you weren’t just pretending to be okay minutes ago.

she didn’t say anything. but you didn’t either. you could hear minjeong’s footsteps slow behind you, like she was giving you space but not too much.

karina looked at you. not past you. not around you. at you. and you, pathetic, hopeful, and still down bad, looked right back. it was silent between you two. you opened your mouth, not even knowing what to say but just knowing that you needed to say something.

but she was already moving again. her shoulder passed yours like nothing happened and her perfume hit a moment later.

you didn’t turn around. minjeong caught up, her voice low. “y/n…” you just shook your head, barely breathing. “i’m fine.” you weren’t.

you stood there for a few seconds longer, staring down the hallway. “i literally can’t take another day of this.”

the final bell rang like an afterthought. you didn’t move at first. you just sat there, staring at the front of the classroom as people scraped chairs and zipped backpacks and sprinted into the hallway with that end of day energy. it all felt far away, like you were watching a movie of your own life, stuck in the scene where nothing really happens. minjeong gave your arm a light nudge. “you good?”

you nodded, too quickly. “yeah. yeah, i’m fine.” you stood up, legs a little too heavy, spending the entire day dragging around a version of yourself. one that still thought karina might look your way. one that still thought maybe you would brush hands in the hallway. or maybe that she would stop pretending. she didn’t.

not during first period, not in the hallway, and not at lunch — especially not at lunch when you almost walked straight into her and she barely blinked. and still, your heart jumped at the memory.

you hated how badly you wanted her attention. how you still checked the hallways for her. how you still remembered exactly how she looked leaning against your locker two weeks ago like she owned the air you breathed. now she didn’t even want to share it with you.

the walk through the hall felt slower than usual. you followed minjeong silently, walking on your usual route home until you both ended up outside on the bleachers behind the school. it was quiet out there.

you dropped your bag and sat down while minjeong sat beside you, breaking the silence first. “she’s trying so hard not to break. but she’s close. i’ve seen her like this before.” you hugged your knees to your chest. “why is she even doing this? i’m the one who should be mad.”

“she’s scared.” minjeong shrugged. “scared that she let you in and showed you too much.” you went quiet. then you let out a quiet, bitter laugh.

“you warned me.”

“i did. but i also get it in a way.” she said gently. suddenly, you felt stupid for expecting it to be easier for you.

“you think she ever really meant it?” you asked. “all of it? the way she held my hand and the late night texts. the stuff she said on the rooftop…” minjeong was quiet again. then she nodded. “i think she meant every word. i also think she’s terrified of meaning anything. so when it gets too real, she either pulls you in harder or pushes you away.” she added.

you swallowed the lump in your throat. “feels like she chose the second one.”

minjeong nudged her shoulder against yours. “she always chooses both. just never at the same time.” you didn’t respond. because even if that was true, it still wasn’t enough. you were still waiting for her to prove it.

you were so tired. not just sleepy tired. not just i stayed up too late tired either. you felt like your body was dragging itself through the morning on autopilot while your mind somewhere far behind. you barely remembered what you picked to wear. just that it was comfortable. not cute. not for her.

you made it through your front door and into the school building without looking around. no scanning the halls. no pausing at the entrance to see who was by the lockers. you didn’t want to see her today. well maybe you did, but not like this. not with your heart willingly cracked open and your face obviously drained.

minjeong found you by your locker. she didn’t say anything at first. just leaned beside you. “did you sleep?” she asked eventually, quiet enough that only you could hear. you shook your head in response. “kinda. not really.” minjeong studied your face. “you look like you’ve been thinking too hard.”

“i’ve been trying not to think about her.” you muttered. “i’m not even mad anymore. i just miss her. and that feels worse than being ignored.” you added.

minjeong leaned her head back against the locker, staring at the ceiling tiles. “missing someone who’s still around is the worst kind of heartbreak.”

the hall was slowly filling up. you didn’t look for karina. you told yourself not to, repeated it like a mantra. but your eyes still drifted down the hallway anyway. she wasn’t there. and that was somehow worse.

you sighed. “i feel like i’m dying a little.”

“don’t say that.” she nudged your side. “come on. we have first period.”

you stood up straighter, grabbing your stuff. the ache in your chest didn’t shrink, but it felt a little less harsh with minjeong beside you. you didn’t know how today would go. if karina would look at you or not. but for now, you followed minjeong down the hallway. and you didn’t look back, even though you wanted to.

first period felt like a joke the universe was playing on you. you walked into class a little later than usual and you didn’t even realize how much hope you still had until it immediately deflated the second you saw her already in her seat.

same posture. same blank face. same casual lean in her chair like nothing was different. she didn’t look up. you moved to your seat beside her, careful not to bump anything or make a sound, like she was a deer and you didn’t want to scare her. not that she was scared of you. she just didn’t seem to care anymore.

you sat down. your bag hit the floor and your elbow barely brushed the edge of her desk as you settled in, and there was nothing. she just stared ahead while waiting for the teacher, perfectly unaffected.

“alright. pair up. group work today.” your teacher said, clapping his hands once like it would inject energy into a room full of barely awake teenagers.

you didn’t even process the assignment. didn’t really care what the topic was. all your brain registered was pair up and the panic that immediately followed. because she was right next to you. because of course you’ll be paired with her. that’s how the seats worked. you’ve been next to each other for weeks. you’ve been sharing pens, stealing glances, breathing in sync. you kissed her. you slept in her bed. and now you couldn’t even ask her what page you were supposed to be on.

you glanced over. she was already turning towards you like she had been prepared for this. her expression was unreadable. it was blank, smooth, and calm. the kind of mask she wore when she didn’t want you to know what she was thinking. you hated how much you still found it pretty.

you sat up straighter, trying to match her energy. “page sixty four.” she said flatly, not looking at you as she flipped open the book. her voice hit you harder than you expected. you haven’t heard it in days. at least not directed at you, and not this close.

you tried not to react. “okay.” you said, as flat. just as empty. she slid her copy between the two of you without asking. your eyes flicked to her hand, resting on the edge of the page. her nails were painted the same shade they were the last time she touched your face.

the assignment was something about literary analysis, metaphors or whatever, but you couldn’t concentrate. you were still waiting for her to break. to say something. but she stayed quiet, jotting notes neatly in the margin of her textbook. you stared at the same sentence for a full minute.

“i can handle the first half.” she said without looking at you. you nodded slowly, even though she wasn’t looking to see it. “i’ll finish the second.”

it was silent again. the clock ticked too loud. your heart ticked louder. you leaned your cheek against your hand, slouching a little. it wasn’t fully because you were tired. you just didn’t want her to see the look on your face. you didn’t want her to see how much you missed her. 

you peeked at her one more time. and for the smallest second, she was already looking. your eyes locked. it wasn’t long. half a second, maybe. but it was enough.

enough to make your pulse trip. enough to see the tiniest crack in her expression before she looked away, jaw tightening. you stared at for her a moment longer, wishing she would do it again. wishing she would speak. but she didn’t. just kept writing like it meant nothing. like you were nothing.

so you turned back to your own notes.

  ──────────౨ৎ───────────

you didn’t even wait for the bell to finish ringing. the second class ended, you slammed your laptop shut and shoved it into your bag before grabbing it. minjeong was already waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall with that soft  look of concern she wore just for you now. you barely reached her before it all started spilling out.

“she literally looked me in the eyes for and a second. half a second, minjeong. and then nothing. just—cold air. like i’m delusional. like i imagined it.” minjeong started walking beside you, already nodding. “i figured. you looked like you were about to die.”

“i was about to die.” you huffed, crossing your arms. “she spoke to me once. one singular time. just to say the page number like we’re coworkers or something. she doesn’t even call me by my name anymore.”

minjeong side eyed you. “you want her to call you what? baby?”

you shoved her arm lightly but it didn’t wipe the frustrated look from your face. “i want her to stop acting like we weren’t all over eachother two weeks ago. like i didn’t— like we didn’t— god.”

“i’m going insane. i would literally take crumbs. a nod. anything.” you tugged on your sleeve. she didn’t say anything, but you knew what she wanted to say. you couldn’t survive on crumbs. but you still looked for them. you still watched the cafeteria doors just in case karina walked through first. you still wanted to be noticed.

you nodded along to whatever minjeong was saying now, but your eyes kept flicking to the door like they had a mind of their own. it was automatic and you hated that you were still hoping she would look for you too. then the doors swung open like some movie cue.

karina stepped through, light from outside catching on her hair, making it glow. ning and aeri trailed behind her laughing about something you couldn’t hear. karina didn’t laugh, but her lip twitched enough to tell you she was in it. existing fully in a world that did not include you. minjeong slowed down like she was bracing for it before it happened.

karina looked up and saw you. just for a second. a single second. her eyes flicked up and locked onto yours.

your breath caught. it was nothing but everything. she didn’t look surprised. she didn’t look angry. she didn’t look away. but she didn’t smile either. she just blinked and then turned. ning glanced at you mid laugh then quickly looked away.

“she saw me.” you said quietly, voice barely audible over the cafeteria noise. “i know.” minjeong replied just as quiet. you blinked hard and sat down before your legs gave out. you had no appetite and no energy to fake it. your heartbeat felt like it lived in your throat. you swallowed once. then again. “i thought maybe today…” you started and then shook your head. “doesn’t matter.” but you kept looking and karina never turned back.

first period felt louder than usual. the classroom was rowdy and your teacher was over it before 8:10. he vaguely waved a hand and told you all to “be productive.”

she didn’t look up when you sat beside her. just kept typing something on her laptop, hair tucked behind one ear and the sleeves of her sweatshirt pushed up to her elbows. her expression didn’t change. not even when your knees knocked gently under the desk.

“hey.” you offered quietly. “morning.” she replied without looking. it was already more than you got the day before. pathetic how you counted that as progress. she was still karina, though. you watched her scroll through a shared doc and for a second, your brain was like, this is the same girl who kissed you with her hand around your neck three weeks ago.

around the room, your classmates were already giving up on focus. someone was blasting tiktoks at full volume. someone else was recording them. karina finally spoke. “we should move.” you turned. “what?”

“it’s loud in here. let’s go the library.” she said simply, still not looking at you. you nodded. maybe a little too fast. “okay.”

she shut her laptop and slid it into her bag and you followed her out of the room without saying a word. the walk down the hallway was quiet. tension crackled between you like static, unspoken and unbearable. karina moved ahead of you and for a second you wondered if she was doing it on purpose. staying far enough that your shoulder couldn’t brush hers. you hated how much you wanted it to brush hers.

the library was half empty and you picked a table in the back, out of sight, tucked behind a bookshelf. she sat across from you and pulled out her laptop again like this was any other day. like she wasn’t breaking your heart in silence.

you opened your laptop and stared at it. karina didn’t say anything for a while. eventually, you broke. “i can’t focus when you’re like this.” her fingers paused on the keyboard then resumed. “like what?”

you looked at her. her face was unreadable, perfectly neutral, but her jaw was tight. “like nothing happened.”

karina didn’t meet your eyes. “we have a project.”

“karina.” that was when she sighed, finally glancing at you. her voice was soft but cool. “what do you want me to do?”

“i don’t know. look at me like you used to?” you whispered. her lips parted for half a second and then they closed. she leaned back slightly, watching you now. “i’m trying not to.” she admitted.

“why?”

“because if i start, i won’t stop.” the air stilled. her voice was too calm. like she was keeping herself from revealing everything she’s been hiding for the past five days. you stared at her, voice barely audible. “is that a threat or a promise?”

karina exhaled sharply. it was almost a scoff. but it wasn’t mean, it was just tired. “don’t tempt me right now.” and for a second, it was like the old current ran between you. electric, familiar, and addicting. you looked away first. she leaned forward, fingers tapping back at the trackpad like nothing had happened. “we need to finish the outline.”

you nodded, swallowing down everything else you wanted to say. but beneath the table, your feet brushed. and this time, she didn’t pull away.

this wasn’t fair. because she shouldn’t have been able to sit across from you like this, calm and composed, while your insides were on fire. she shouldn’t have been able to pretend like none of this was a big deal, like she didn’t know exactly how to get under your skin with one look. “i hate this.” you blurted again before you could stop yourself. karina tilted her head. “hate what?”

“you. this. the whole ‘barely speaking, but sitting two feet apart’ thing. i—” you stopped yourself, rubbing your temple like it might smooth over the emotional blowout. “it’s driving me insane.” her expression didn’t change right away, but something in her posture softened just slightly. her hand stopped hovering over the keyboard. “you think it’s easy for me?” she said quietly and you looked at her, annoyed now. “you’re the one acting like none of it mattered.”

“it mattered. that’s the problem.” she said, voice steady but low. she closed her laptop slowly, folding her arms on the table. “forget me and move on.“

“i don’t want to move on.” you whispered. she finally held your gaze and that was the end of it for you. you pushed your notebook aside and stood up before your thoughts could catch up. she looked up at you, confused for half a second until you came around the table and sat next to her. closer than you needed to. closer than you should’ve. her breath hitched. just a little.

“i know i shouldn’t.” you said almost to yourself. karina didn’t move. “then don’t.”

“i miss you.” you said and she closed her eyes for a moment, jaw tight. then she opened them slowly, eyes scanning your face like she was trying to memorize it. “you’re really not making this easy.”

“you were never easy.” you said and when she let out the softest laugh, you felt yourself fall all over again. you didn’t kiss her. but you wanted to. your knee pressed into hers beneath the table. and now, neither of you pulled away.

──────────౨ৎ───────────

you didn’t say much as the final bell rang. just packed up your things and let the weight of everything settle over your shoulders. outside of the classroom, minjeong was already waiting, leaning against the wall like she had been there for a while. she raised an eyebrow when she saw your face. you both stepped out into the afternoon sun, squinting a little. the light was too golden and too soft for how tired you felt.

the air was warm in that almost summer way, cicadas were humming in the distance, and minjeong nudged your elbow lightly. “you look like you just got hit by a truck.” she said, falling into step beside you. you scoffed under your breath. “it was more of an emotional car crash, actually.”

she laughed. “let me guess. she said one thing and now you’re freaking out.”

“she cares. she told me not to move on.” you said and minjeong made a face. “that’s so karina coded. saying just enough to keep you around, but not enough to actually say anything.” you knew she was right, but still. you couldn’t stop replaying the look in karina’s eyes when she said it. it wasn’t manipulative. it was like she really meant it.

you didn’t realize you were smiling like an idiot until minjeong groaned beside you. “oh my god. you’re literally happy about crumbs. like— dust. emotional lint. she gave you a vague ass sentence and you’re glowing.”

“i’m not glowing.”

“you’re glowing pathetically.” you elbowed her. “shut up.” but the truth was that you were glowing. just a little. it was embarrassing how much you missed her. how her silence felt like a punishment and a safety net at the same time. how the smallest bit of softness from her made you feel like maybe you weren’t crazy after all. you were halfway across the parking lot when you heard someone call your name.

“y/n!” you turned, blinking into the sunlight. it was sunghoon. he was standing off to the side near the bike racks, leaning casually against the metal frame like this was a totally casual encounter. he was obviously waiting. “hey.” you said in an uncertain tone, slowing your pace.

minjeong instinctively stayed close, watching him with an unreadable expression. he pushed off the bike rack, shoving his hands into his pockets. “i was hoping i would see you today.”

“oh?”

he shrugged. “yeah. i, uh… i’ve been meaning to talk to you.” you raised an eyebrow and minjeong shifted slightly beside you, silent but very much tuned in. “i just— look, this might be a little random… but i always thought you were cute. since, like… the first week.” he said, suddenly less smooth than usual. that made you pause. “what?”

“i mean, i didn’t say anything because karina was… you know. karina. she was clealy on you. i figured i didn’t stand a chance.” he smiled, but there was a flicker of hesitation in it. your pulse jumped. not because of him, but because you could feel eyes on you. you didn’t even have to look to know who it was. you felt the shift in gravity.

karina. you glanced over your shoulder, and there she was. across the lot, standing by her car with her keys dangling in her hand. aeri was saying something to her, probably teasing or talking about weekend plans, but karina wasn’t listening. she was locked onto you. not just looking — watching. like a lion behind glass. composed but far from calm.

sunghoon kept talking, oblivious. “anyway. i just figured… i don’t know, maybe things were different now. with you and her. are they?” he asked it so casually. but it echoed like a gunshot in your head. are they?

you didn’t answer right away. you could say no. you could say yes. you could pretend like this didn’t mean anything at all. but karina was still staring and your heart was beating in your throat. it made something inside you want to do something stupid inside you wanted to make her feel it. so you tilted your head before smiling. just barely.

“maybe.” you said softly. minjeong shifted beside you. sunghoon smiled like he just scored. but your eyes never left karina and hers never left you.

the hallway buzzed with post lunch noise. you were walking between sunghoon and minjeong and you could feel karina watching. you didn’t even have to look to know she was. sunghoon was saying something stupid about the vending machines always stealing his change and minjeong hummed beside you, arms crossed and suspiciously quiet. you tried to laugh along, nodding at the right times but your eyes kept flickering across the hallway.

she was leaning against the lockers, arms crossed and black sleeves pushed to her elbows. one ankle was crossed over the other. her eyes were unreadable from this distance, but you didn’t need to see them to feel the burn of her gaze.

so when she pushed off the wall and started walking — towards you — you genuinely thought she might just pass you by again. but instead, she stopped right in front of you. sunghoon faltered beside you, brows rising slightly. minjeong stiffened. “y/n.” karina said, like it wasn’t the first time she said your name a thousand different ways in her head.

“yeah?”

her voice was calm. a little too calm. “you wanna go to the library?” youstared at her for a second too long.

“right now?”

“yeah.” she paused. “for the project.” you glanced over at minjeong who just blinked once. it was one that said don’t look at me. sunghoon shifted beside you, awkward now.

“…sure.” you said. too quickly. karina nodded once. no thanks, no smile. just turned and started walking like she already knew you’d follow. and of course you did. you trailed behind her as the hallways noise faded behind you, the distance between you and the other two widening with each step. you didn’t say anything. you couldn’t. your heart was loud in your ears and karina’s silence felt heavier than anything you’ve ever carried.

she didn’t lead you toward the library.

you noticed the detour around the back staircase instantly, but you still followed. the moment you saw the door to the rooftop ahead, something in you twisted. “karina.” you said softly.

she didn’t look at you. she just opened the door and slipped through like this wasn’t completely, obviously not the library. you hesitated then stepped through.

the door clicked shut behind you, city buzzing quietly below. the rooftop was empty and the sky was a wash of soft blue and silver clouds. karina stood by the railing, facing away. her hands were gripping the edge. you didn’t speak. for a long minute, neither of you did.

you swallowed hard. “why are we here?” you asked finally. your voice sounded too small and you almost frowned when she didn’t turn. “because i couldn’t do it anymore.”

“…do what?” your fingers tightened on the railing. “pretend i don’t care.” she said, but her voice was shaky around the edges. the silence that followed was sharp and you couldn’t help but step closer. “then why did you?”

she was still facing away from you. “because i care too much.”

“i don’t know what you do to me, y/n, but you’re the only person who makes me feel like i don’t have control. everything is just a reflex with you and i— i don’t trust what i’ll do next.” you could see her posture shifting slightly, crossing her arms. your teeth found the inside of your jaw and pulled. 

“and seeing you with sunghoon? god, i really wanted to text his coach. i don’t know if he thought i was joking when i warned him the first time.” your eyes widened slightly. that’s what that one day was about. you tugged on your bottom lip.

“but i knew you wouldn’t have liked it and i didn’t wanna mess this up even more. not when i’m aching to hear your laugh again. and not just now, even when i’m trying not to. even when i’m lying in bed, forcing myself not to text you. even when i know i don’t deserve it.” she admitted and your throat burned.

you wanted to search her face — for guilt, for games, for anything that would make this feel safer. “i’ve never felt like this. i’ve never wanted someone like this. it’s terrifying. i think about you more than i think about anything else.” she said.

you exhaled shakily. “that’s not normal.”

“i know. but it’s you.” she said and your hands curled into fists at your sides. “why now?”

“because if i don’t say it now, i might see you with him again. i might lose someone who makes me feel something again. and i can’t.”

you looked down, overwhelmed. “karina…”

“i know i don’t deserve to ask you for anything. but i’m still going to.” she said, stepping closer. you looked up and her eyes met yours like it hurt her.

“come back. let me try again. let me do it right this time.” she whispered. she looked at you then and you didn’t think anyone has ever looked at you like that. like she was seeing something she’s been searching for in other people for years but never quite found until you. you wanted to believe her so bad. so bad that it hurt.

so you did, and she waited. not for a dramatic moment. not for control. just for you. and when you didn’t step back, didn’t say no, didn’t leave shut the door behind you and walk away, she smiled. slow and sure. 

“i win.” she whispered. your heart stopped. 

“what?”

“whatever game you think we’re playing.”

taglist — @saysirhc @m00nqvv @yuyuy90 (@spidrgamer @sh1ba100 @1800hotnfunn @hopeless-y)

[kianamaiart]

If you do end up going with a studio offer, will you be able to say after what studios were interested, even if you didn’t go with them? I’m super curious which ones are open to making shows with online pilots because the process seems pretty different!

Assume that it's most

It's not that different of a process. The process as I know it, is you go to them with a pitch. Usually a sample script, a storyboard, a logline or some visuals. It's pretty open and usually however much or however little you feel you need to pitch. If the development execs feel your work aligns with what they're looking for you move to development which can take anywhere from 2-5 years. In development you'll create a bible, discuss the format of the series (number of seasons, number of episodes, 11s/22s, etc.) From there you write the pilot script. Then go back and forth with notes for however long (I've seen people work on the same pilot script for years just because of how slow the development process is and how involved notes are). Then after that you get going on production of the pilot and start bringing on other artists/people to help. In some cases the pilot is fully animated but that's kinda rare to my knowledge. I believe there's some focus testing that happens in between as well. After that, the studio decides if you're greenlit or not and that's that.

My pilot acted as the pitch, script, pilot animatic, some of the general development process and also (limited) focus testing. Because it did well, there's more reason to believe it'll do well with a studio and there wouldn't need to be as much back and forth and notes and changes. It would still be subject to change (and maybe still a lot depending on the studio), but the success does give me a leg up in pushing back on notes.

Having a full pilot done doesn't necessarily mean you'll have it easier or that the process will be different. The only thing having an online pilot might change is how long the process is but that all hinges on how much the studio likes the pilot as is and if it aligns with what they're looking for

[itsrlymine]

heyy gurll it’s 🫶🏾🖤 and on 02/26 it was my birthdayyyy!! and i just wanted to give you a list of what i manifesteddd and l started deciding and persisting my ‘desires’ 2-3 days before my bday so i got all of it on the day of.

-a whole appearance change from head to toe

-my dream lifeee

-some qualities and talents i wanted to have

-the ppl who hurted nd wished bad upon me finally get their karma 

-my mom becoming very lenient, chill and fun

-having straight A’s in all of my classes even if i don’t turn in work.

-getting all A’s on every test and quiz i take even the ones i did in the past.

-hella desired clothes, shoes, jewelry and accessories 

-my ex from 2 years ago wanting me back and starting to text me again  (but come to find out this dude has a whole ass gf and i’m thinking about deciding me and him don’t talk cus it feels wrong 😭)

-knowing how to cook, bake, draw, crochet, and do hair really good.

-“illogical” things 

-high ass spice and pain tolerance

-my lipgloss and aquaphor lasting for 12 hours straight without me having to reapply lipgloss or put some aquaphor on my face every 5 minutes 😭

-always having my manifestations pop up in the 3d in the blink of an eye.

-skincare and makeup (lashes and highlighter) products 

-and many moreee

so what i did was just make a whole ass script about the things i wanted to manifest and just put them as like i actually have it instead of me wanting it, cus i already have it duh.

then i would affirm:

“i am so happy i have my dream lifee and all of my desires from my “season 1 list” (that’s what i titled the list)

“the 3d instantly conforms to all of my ‘desires’”

and every time i thought of something on the list i just say those and start persisting a lil so i can remind myself i got everything i ever wanted. but i would rarely think of the list so i barely said it and i would already act like i have my ‘dream’ life and all of my ‘desires’. so it would rarely cross my mind. and did i have some negative thoughts? yeah i did. did i just let them pass by and/ or tell them to stfu? yes tf i did cus who you think you is coming up in my head and talking bout sum “nah this shi fake, you wasting your time” like stfu with that shit, i said what i fucking said and i said “i have all of my ‘desires’ and i have my ‘dream life’” and that’s fucking final and just went on about my day!!

oh yeaaa i’m also manifesting that you’ll get a shit load of followers and likes on all your post and that your account becomes really huge!! cus your very very helpful and sweet!!!! i love youuu soooooo muchhhh!!!!! 💝💝💝💝🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

-🫶🏾🖤

omg hello 🫶🏾🖤 babe!!! happy belated birthday holy this was buried deep omg sorry. i love all these successes like we can really have what we want just by standing firm on it. that's it literally. don't accept anything other than what you want and boom you have it now. NO EXACTLY LIKE STFU I HAVE MY SHIII OMG not you manifesting success for my page babe that so sweet and it's been going up so you deffo manifested that. i love you so much and i'm so happy that you put your foot down bc this is your world for a reason!!!

[jawusa]

[4t2] Sixam - Secret Alien World for TS2 ^^

Remember my 4t2 Sixam project I started 2 years ago? Which I almost scrapped but revisited sometime last year? ... well, I've got good news for you then. It's finally out now! ^^

Welcome to Sixam!

Sixam Academy is a prestigious intergalactic university on the planet of Sixam that provides special training for aspiring students to become Birth Queens, Colony Drones, or even the latest innovation in alien technology: Pollination Technicians. The academy offers hands-on experiences, collaborative research, and cultural exploration, alongside interstellar expeditions, nurturing a community focused on curiosity, inclusivity, and innovation.

Yes, I recreated the secret alien world from TS4 for TS2 as a custom university subhood! Why as a university subhood you may ask? Well, I tried to keep the original vibes of Sixam of it being an "unlockable"/visitable place your sims can explore rather than a regular neighborhood your sims can live in!

Well, even after graduation, your sims can actually stay and live in the university subhood using Lamare's YAs can enjoy maternity (and all that) mod, as well as Lamare's Pets at University mod!

While technically it's a university, it could easily also be just a downtown or a main hood, as it includes quite a few urban city-style residential & community lots that a main hood/downtown would also otherwise have… just all in sci-fi/alien theme, of course! ;)

Download: MTS | Simblr.cc | SFS

More info under the cut...

Neighborhood Info:

Requires only Uni/NL/OFB EP and no CC were used to build the lots - I made this without Apartment Life EP, so TS2 Super Collection users can also use it, but in the future, I might also make an alternative version as an actual downtown with apartment lots!

No camera mod is needed, yet, still recommended for easier gameplay, especially since some lots were built on skyscrapers and can be hard to view with just the vanilla camera.

Number of Sims: 90 (10 playable sims in 4 playable families, 31 townies, 44 NPCs, 5 dead sims)

Number of Lots: 35 (7 residential lots, 2 Greek houses, 5 dorms, 1 secret society, 20 community lots, where 8 of which are owned businesses)

Gameplay Info:

Speaking of lots, I made lecture halls for every major, which you could use with beestew's Active Classes mod! These are community lots, featuring skill-building equipment and study spaces, with NPC professors (as lot owners) available for tutoring whenever your sims visit.

I also made an optional custom skybox and custom lighting file for Sixam that will make it always nighttime (Yes, you heard right! The sun never shines here on Sixam!) with subtle seasonal color changes - reddish in Autumn, bluish in Winter, and greenish in Spring.

While the empty version should be CC-free, the inhabited version requires the 3 alien skintones (blue/turquoise/violet) from my [4t2] aliens set to keep the TS4 alien characters like Aileen Rauvu authentic. As giving all these colorful aliens the default green skin instead felt as bad as white-washing, say, giving black characters like Olive Specter a lighter skintone for me. An alternative CC-free version with no CC skintones is also available for players who prefer to not have any CC skintones in their games, though.

I also recreated some characters from TS4, especially all the characters from the The Sims 4 Get to Work: Sul Sul trailer. Every character comes with a complete set of ancestors (at least parents) and customized memories, even townies and NPCs! Some also come with interesting lore! Even though, they're just... townies! Oh, and everyone has genetic infant faces! Yayy! XD

Speaking of characters, scripted events don't work in subhoods, but I wrote a text in each family description that somewhat mimic the scripted event notifications anyway. I think this is a brilliant and fun way of introducing new characters, even in university subhoods. All households should also have a complete set of family album pictures that show their lore a bit. ^^

Recommended Mods:

All notownieregen/antiredudancy/nodormiespawn/nossrespawn mods. All university townies/NPCs in Sixam are aliens.. or at least have a very good reason why they're there, but this can easily be ruined if you don't have these mods installed, lol.

bloodredtoe's Mannequin babies can be born mod. To have more variety, I used the mannequin skintone for some of the alien sims. While this mod isn't required, it's recommended to prevent crashes, especially when these aliens have offspring, as there's a chance they could inherit the mannequin skintone.

Squinge's No Townie Memory Loss. Again, townies and NPCs in this neighborhood are highly customized and I recommend getting no townie amnesia mods to prevent their lore from getting wiped out! As there are a few clues in the bios of some of the townies... including long lost twins!

lingeringwillx's Restore Default Names for Sims in Subneighbohoods . This is especially helpful, not only because the townies/NPCs are related to the playable sims, but also, it will help to maintain the alien atmosphere of Sixam with names like Pollination Technicians, Colony Drones or Birth Queens, etc. instead of having EA's default townie/NPC names.

Install Instructions:

This download consists of 3 parts:

Neighborhood itself:

Place the USXM folder into your PROGRAM FILES/EA Games/The Sims 2 University/TSData/Res/NeighborhoodTemplate folder

Note: If you have TS2 UC, it's PROGRAM FILES/EA Games/The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection/University Life/EP1/TSData/Res/NeighborhoodTemplate

Note: If you have TS2 Legacy, it's PROGRAM FILES/EA Games/The Sims 2 Legacy/EP1/TSData/Res/NeighborhoodTemplate

2. OPTIONAL: Custom skybox (& 3 new alien skintones):

Place the Sixam CC folder into your DOCUMENTS/EA Games/The Sims 2/Downloads folder

Note: If you have TS2 UC, it's DOCUMENTS/EA Games/The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection/Downloads

Note: If you have TS2 Legacy, it's DOCUMENTS/EA Games/The Sims 2 Legacy/Downloads

3. OPTIONAL: Custom lighting (for enabling 24/7 nights):

Place the sixam_lot.txt file into your PROGRAM FILES/EA Games/The Sims 2 Mansion & Garden Stuff/TSData/Res/Lights folder

Note: If you have TS2 UC, it's PROGRAM FILES/EA Games/The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection/Fun with Pets/SP9/TSData/Res/Lights

Note: If you have TS2 Legacy, it's PROGRAM FILES/EA Games/The Sims 2 Legacy/EP9/TSData/Res/Lights

Credits:

To EA for creating Sixam in the first place, even though it was originally created for the wrong game ;)

Makers of SimPE (especially with the newest version, allowing creation of customized NPCs!)

Mootilda for all her amazing tools, especially LotCompressor, LotAdjustor, HoodChecker, and her tutorial on how to create a custom subhood template.

Numenor for his AnyGameStarter, allowing for the creation of a Uni/NL/OFB only environment.

@lowedeus for his original skybox, which I recolored and modified to make the skybox season-friendly, as well as @criquette-was-here for the tutorial on how to make nhood objects glow at night.

Gwenke for the original ocean surface nhood deco, which I also recolored and modified to make it glow at night.

@catherinetcjd for all her inspring builds and also for being such an amazing friend. I recommend her Isosceles Apartments, Experiment 4.2, The Colony as well as her Pyramid Commune No. 9 Live, specifically as optional additional lots for this neighborhood. I learned a lot from you in the past few years of neighborhood and lot building!

Creusa Sims for her support and love while I was creating this neighborhood. It was fun discussing some of the lore in this neighborhood with you. XD

@lordcrumps for also being such an amazing friend! It was you who kept pushing me to actually redo the skybox when I wasn't happy with the draft version, lol! And also for your helpful inputs very early on. ^^

@lamare-sims for being such a talented modder and her amazing mods that make living in university subhoods possible in the first place! This concept wouldn't have otherwise made sense.

That's it for now I guess? I hope you have as much fun with this neighborhood as I had building it! <3

[love4ng1e]

༄ Some of the stuff I've manifested for 2025.

1. Unlimited money in my bank account.

My card never declines regardless if I spend millions basically.

2. Name never gets mispronounced.

My actual name gets mispronounced way too often, and I got sick of correcting people, so now I don't have to anymore.

3. Ability to read people's minds.

I don't even know how that works. I just know what people are going to say before they say it and I'm always correct.

4. Knowing how to Ice skate.

I didn't know how to ice skate, and now I can, and I can damn well too.

5. A Kwami.

My Kwami is named Lilaa, and she listens to me yap and fits in my pockets. Kwamis are from Miraculous Ladybug if you are wondering.

6. Long natural nails that never break.

I used to have very long natural nails, but they got damaged because of acrylics, so I manifested those back plus that they never break or get damaged.

7. Everyone in my family being kind to one another.

Self-explanatory. Also that we never argue because I'm tired of arguments.

8. Always having yummy food in the fridge.

I grew up in an ingredient household, and I was always starving so I manifested that there is always food in my house.

9. Racist, sexist, and homophobic people not exist in my school or my erea.

Self-explanatory. Eventually, I will manifest that they don't exist in the whole world, but I like starting off small so I can see the progress.

10. Ability to see people's auras.

It's cool. Also, I can see who's having a bad day so I can comfort them, and they hit me with the "how'd you know?"

There's at least quadruple more this list, so let me know for part two.

༄ How I personally did it.

Step 1: Scripting.

I used Notion, but you don't have to. Google documents, a piece of paper, or the Notes app is perfect too.

I didn't do anything fancy. Kept it simple. Feel free to do it the way I did it if you want to.

Step 2: Choosing an affirmation.

Next, choose an affirmation that would represent your whole script. Can be anything.

Step 3: Repeat that affirmation.

I repeated my chosen affirmation whenever during the day, but especially before sleeping.

Step 4: Assume and persist.

The way I assumed was that during my sleep, I was taking the train. The train from my current reality to my desired reality.

The way I persisted was if I woke up and I "didn't" have my desires, then the train just had a malfunction, and I'll arrive shortly.

Smart? I know 😉. Feel free to assume and persist the way I do or any other way you want.

Step 5: Celebrate!!

That was about it. I got my desires. If I can do it, you automatically can too. Just because it's 2025 doesn't mean it's too late, so go manifest!!

Also, let me know if you guys like the new theme for 2025.

[valent1neg0d]

THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS GETTING STARTED WITH THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION (AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN MANIFESTING FOR 5 YEARS)

1. the law of assumption is personal. considering how we have different sets of experiences, different environments, different upbringings, and even different languages, we have different assumptions.

because of this, we are affected by teachings and success stories differently. it's important to note this since a lot of manifestation coaches will teach you about the law in a way that worked for them (and the others they may have taught) but it's possible that their advice (even my own) may not be the best for you. even abdullah and neville goddard, two of the people who are known to start this discipline, may have ancient or varied belief systems and techniques. this is normal considering the world they lived in before is different from the world we live in now.

although, you should still read on abdullah and neville because they will teach you the basics and they will help you understand the foundations of the law.

as an example, you might manifest your dream career faster with simple affirmation techniques but a coach may have taught you to focus on visualization techniques.

even the idea that "dominant THOUGHTS manifest" or "what you BELIEVE in manifests" is entirely up to you.

note: notice how i said "may not be the best for you" instead of "may not work for you". any technique can, does, and will work.

how i learned this: when i was learning about the law, i mainly focused on neville's teachings because he was one of the most prominent figures in the practice. and though i liked his practical techniques (especially mental diet and inner conversations), there were some beliefs that i do not agree with e.g. divine timing, appointed hour, avoiding "does not" "is not" "will not".

when i was going through sammy ingrams' takes, she said that it's better to have concise affirmations/short list (non-verbatim) than a long list of 25+ affirmations. but going through affirmations without being specific about them doesn't personally resonate with me and that's just because i'm a detail-oriented person (also a writer).

what i can advise:

learn about different approaches

a. through scientific concepts. e.g. quantum physics, reticular activating system, cognitive reframing, cognitive behavioral therapy, the psychology of placebo effect, the psychology of affirmations, Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (a.k.a. the psychology of self-fulfilling prophecy)

b. through religious and/or spiritual concepts. e.g. passages from the Bible, passages from the Quran, deity work, spells and rituals

c. through self-development. e.g. identity-based habit

start the practice with an identity you like in the present or an identity that you resonate with (learning style, talents, interests, etc.)

examples:

-visual learner = vision boards

-loves writing = scripting

-words of affection love language = affirmations

take teachings with a grain of salt. do not limit yourself and do not allow other people to limit you. experiment with concepts, ideas, and techniques, and have fun with them.

2. techniques are only reminders. you are manifesting either by thinking, feeling, or acting out your desires. you are manifesting every second of the day either with your thoughts, emotions, or by embodying a state. you are only being intentional when you anchor techniques.

note: it is true that your dominant thoughts manifest. it is also true that what you believe in manifests, the same way that your inner knowing manifests. BUT these ideas are meant to empower you. they are meant to remind you that manifestation is as easy as thinking, feeling, acting, believing, understanding, deciding, etc. if an idea doesn't feel good to you, it doesn't have to be an ultimate truth you embrace and carry on with. this is the same with techniques.

what i can advise:

choose one technique and practice it for 7 to 21 days. it can be mental diet, affirmation tapes, sats, mind movies, etc. as long as you can persist with it. give it time. give it time. give it time. in other aspects of the world, you give change some time. when you're calcium deficient and you decide to drink calcium supplements, you realize that it's counterproductive to ask "why am i still calcium deficient?" as soon as you start your regimen because you know your body is changing with the supplement and you put your trust into it. after all, why would you choose a supplement you have no faith on? you just give it time.

note: you can still manifest changes to be instant. you can affirm "i am seeing results now", "results come immediately", "my manifestation is quick". the amount of time you're using a technique does not equate to the amount of time your results will come.

the reason why i encourage you to practice for maximum 21 days is so you can fully explore and master the technique you chose. with the abundance of topics and methods discussed in social media, switching and trying new things is tempting. now, there is nothing wrong with this. it's just that, you wouldn't be able to take a step back and reflect on what worked and what takes more effort when you change techniques every so often.

try a technique that is popularized in the media. a lot of the times, the reason why this technique gained traction is either because it's simple or because it has worked for a lot of people. now, here's the thing: if said technique wasn't for you, at least you can say "oh this is a tiktok/twitter/youtube/old/beginner technique, there are other techniques out there" and you can try another technique with less resistance. but, if it did work, then it did. congratulations.

you can invent your own. here are some techniques that i invented throughout the years.

a. "name is set and solid with the fact that..." - works amazing for sp, getting people to commit, getting people to pursue you

b. "okay! manifestation powers go brrr!" - funny but i do this when I'm spiraling; it also helps me surrender doubts and i think it's because it's so simple and unserious lmao

you can combine them. for example, you want to do sats but you cannot hold a vision for long, what you can do is montage photos or videos that is similar to the vision you want to manifest. you can also have affirmation tapes running in the background.

3. "concept" work can be such a banger. assumptions are basically the conception about the world, about yourself, about the people around you. hence, when you manifest and apply the law of assumption, you change or reinforce a conception.

these can be done through:

self-concept

what it is: your awareness about yourself; the way you perceive yourself.

how you can apply it: there are multiple ways to establish your self-concept but the best way, is to start reinforcing the universal truth: that you are inherently worthy. you deserve money and resources because you are worthy. you deserve love because you are worthy. you deserve ease because you are worthy.

other ways to grow your self-concept is celebrating the identities you have within yourself that you like e.g. that you are strong, you are disciplined, you are beautiful. be careful about strongly tying yourself into these identities though because these are not the reasons why you shall receive. again, you shall receive because you are inherently worthy.

why it works: by having a strong self-concept, you develop ease. you are less likely to rationalize or question the law or why you deserve the things you're asking for. and as you may think, rationalizing may be a form of resistance. questioning may be a form of resistance.

one of the ways i have seen this is when people receive incentives from work, instead of just receiving or saying "thank you", they say things like "what have i done to receive this?", sometimes completely rejecting this gift because of fear that they might lose something when they receive. this can be an example of a weak self-concept. consequently, the company starts questioning "did my employer really do enough to receive this?".

on the other hand, someone with a strong self-concept can take this incentive and buy the things they like because they know they deserve it. they can also take this incentive and say to themselves "oh it's because i worked hard these past few days". it's the knowing and confidence they have within themselves that everything around them has no other option but to recognize.

conception of other things (e.g. of love, of money, of a specific person)

you can work on your conception of other things the same way you work on your self-concept: choosing a narrative that is uplifting to you.

in case you have resistance to a specific object, you can also listen to people's success stories to start shifting to a more positive and desirable perception. one of the ways i do this is by going back to abdullah and neville's story. these two men lived at difficult times, through difficult eras, yet they manifested their desires. they managed to let go of the 3D.

4. practice some distance as you're starting. you were exposed to a different life before the law, it's only normal and human to have doubts or spiral once in a while. however, when you set distance on things that do not help you embody the state, you set distance on things that will feed your doubts and spiraling.

for example, if you're shifting to a state of wealth and you're affirming "i have 1,000 dollars". it's unhelpful and opposing to be constantly surrounded by someone else saying "you only have 10 dollars".

now, i do understand that not everyone can do this right away because of circumstances. but PLEASE do whatever you can to set this distance. find a voice to reinstate your truth.

a personal story, i am an asian girl living with a grandmother who was pessimistic about love because her two children (my mom and my aunt) struggled with it. because of this, she used to constantly remind me of how love is difficult. i didn't know this at the time, but this created a set of beliefs in my head. consequently, as a teenager, i only seeked and allowed love which was difficult because that was all i've ever known. that was all my assumption.

but around the pandemic, i went back to the countryside with my dad where i had a lot of time on my own. this was when i got deep into new-age spirituality and did shadow work. from here, i realized: this is not my assumption about love. before my parents broke up, my assumption was that love is easy. you only have to make the other person laugh. when i was busy in school and would spend most of the time at my friend's house, my assumption was that love is support and light. i started to get these epiphanies that a lot of my pessimistic perception was because of someone i was constantly surrounded with and that i have to build new assumptions.

but around august 2020, i have to go back to the city with my grandmom. i was afraid of the toll i might get into when i got back. however, because i already practiced distance and understood what are the assumptions that serve me, what are the assumptions that i want, i was more at peace. i listed down affirmations about myself, about love, about money, about being "deserving".

after this, every time she told me what love was, i can stop her and say no. i can tell her that it's not the universal truth, and certainly not mine. along the way, i started manifesting that she believes love is easy and supportive. i started manifesting that she believes i deserve love that is soft and tender.

then, when i got into my relationship, she was nothing but happy and supportive.

other ways i have practiced distance while manifesting:

unfollowing content creators who normalized hating men.

unfollowing content creators who were shady and negative about relationships.

unfriending highschool guy friends who do not make me feel safe about men.

unfriending relatives who make unnecessary comments about my looks, my studies, my relationship, and my earnings.

unfollowing girls who made me feel bad about also liking girls.

unfollowing manifestation gurus who romanticize struggles because "the more you struggle, the more you get blessed"

unfollowing manifestation gurus who say stuff like "if you want money, you have to take action to deserve it. not just manifesting"

now, you can totally manifest these people to change and be better, as long as it will make you feel good.

that's all i can share today (since this post is already getting long). i hope you learned a thing or two. thank you so much for reading. i love you and i appreciate you !

xo

[lilybug-02]

❤️🌸🌼 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞…. 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 🌼 🌸 ❤️

To get questions out of the way, yes, The Chara Timeline Comic will not be continuing… (mostly)

I started this comic back in November of 2021 on the simple idea of "What if Players possessing humans was normal?". I didn't think it would go beyond a simple page, but it did. It was an idea that blossomed into a 3+ year comic, spanning hundreds of pages, side art, fanart!!!, new blogs, and led me to meeting some of the sweetest and brightest Tumblr people I have ever met. ✨❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜✨ (I’m gonna shout u out eventually 😈)

But, I was doing this COMIC on my OWN and in my free time while juggling college, serious mental health issues, and many crazy life events.

So after so many years, I think it's finally time to put this comic to rest. I grew out of my Undertale and Deltarune love months ago and I am ready to look forward to other projects and interests. (Now... I am open to drawing more for it...but I am okay with telling the world the full story in case I don't ,:))

Because this comic means the ABSOLUTE WORLD to me... I want to give it a last hoorah! I am making multiple parts to this because I want to do my comic justice. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

I will be going over my favorite art, scenes, characters, deleted scenes and more. And at the end of it all I will go over what the finale would look like and give you guys some art of that :)

First off...MY FAVORITE SCENES!!! (and my thoughts on them)💕

The Beginning:

Still have this saved in my files, thank god. Man... my art has improved so so much!!!! Gone are the playdough hands and strange proportions! Though my faces and consistency always need work.... haha. I'm surprised how colorful and pretty this first page is :) It makes me happy to see it in a new light.

My Favorite Darkworld Page:

I put hours upon hours of work into each page (especially for the colorful Darkworlds), but none still makes me hold my breath as much as the first introduction of The Mayor! I loved drawing the perspective and colored background motifs in this page. And the way the emotions are on full display ~ Chefs Kiss. (I also loved the "Let's shoot out the lights" metaphor being a double entendre. Representing the Mayor's wants to kill/get rid of light-ners and also the term being an old saying for "completely dominating one's opponent" as he want's Kris to join him in his dastardly deeds.)

Backgrounds:

I put my heart and soul into the backgrounds of this comic. I hid details like eyes in walls, moss covered plateaus, spoon shaped rocks, tea kettle inspired trains, hidden characters, and wayyyyy more. Some of my favorite backgrounds have to be of the more subtle ones. But I’m very proud of the detailed ones like the computer.

Silly Kris to Chara Talk:

This one scene (part 8 and 9, which was 12 pages) took me 5 months to make. It was hell. But I did it. The script took me FOREVER to figure out. I have like 4 different drafts of this scene (which I'll show later). I was exhausted and a bit deflated at the time, so I wasn't as proud with it. I'm happy now, but I feel like it could have been easier to make. I'll never know.

All of the Weird Route:

THIS. I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS.🩸💔 I would love to say this is the magnum opus of the comic, but I am being very biased. Horror is my specialty and I was ecstatic when I made the decision to write and draw the weird route for this comic. The idea of having a THING control your body to kill while you’re conscious of your actions is a great horror concept and I loved delving deep into it. Obviously, I feel like some of the writing could have been more worked on (like the part where Chara is explaining HOW soul entities control the body) bc it's confusing, but I'm still so happy with it :) And even if I didn't finish the main one, I finished the weird route. So I made a conclusion somewhere!! (even if it's hella morbid lol)

Darkworld Train Fight:

I had been hoping to make this scene since week ONE of the comic. An epic train fight in a Wild West themed Darkworld? It was perfect! And I also really wanted to have a reference to the Alaskan Bull Worm 🪱🧽 from Spongebob for some reason. Because Sandy Cheeks (the squirrel) is Texan and somehow that all connects back to Rodger the Worm haha. I thought it would be fun, but it took me forever to figure out how the worm and train would combine in a fight scene. In retrospect, I think i spent a little too much time in the darkworld, as it took time and energy away from a more tight-knit story, but hind sight is 2020. 💖🚂🚋🚋🚋🪱

Shaker Sisters:

Just look at them. They are actual baby.

Chara's Crashout and Eventual Talk with Asriel:

This idea of Chara yelling at the Mayor was originally just one page of Chara making an offhand comment about how he was annoying. But it turned into a much more impactful, story changing moment. I wanted to highlight Chara's intensity and why they might have been labeled as "not a good friend" in Undertale. They have anger issues. They are unapologetically blunt. They are anxious and critical of their self worth. They echo their past abusers onto themselves and others and they believe they are justified in their actions. But Chara is human and I wanted to respect them as such.

...I also love Chara being silly <3 (That ice cream took 3+ hours to draw) 😭🍦🍪

Asriel Being Cute:

I just think this one drawing looks cute :)

Chara Finding Kris:

I love drawing comedy and this was no exception. I wanted it to be equal parts horror and funny. Chara's "F*Ck" being cut off is so funny to me 😭 And the horror of a literal Human organ just floating up to you?? Peak dark humor. I also think I nailed the panel layout here 😊

Kris' Confession:

These are my FAVORITE pages out of the ENTIRE COMIC. I feel like the writing, art, and scene layout is as flawless as it can be. I'm still shocked at how well it turned out. They were also a blast to work on ❤️

Silly Azzy 🥺 Face:

I knew people would love his droopy face, but literally so many people liked it, it became a meme. Thank you. I also think it's the funniest thing ever.

A Moment Between Friends:

I love Asriel and Chara's relationship in this comic. They care for one another so much even when they don't see eye to eye.

Breakfast:

This one panel took me 4+ hours. The perspective is wonky and there are 5 different characters. But man do I love how it turned out. Susie is chowing down on those detailed pancakes (yes, those are human and monster pancake faces :) 🥞🥞🥞).

Chara Kicking Stones:

idk why but this one panel scratches an itch in my brain. It’s detailed and colorful :3

The 7 Humans:

I guess we’re getting to some of the last pages I’ve done…. I’m really happy with this one. It’s spooky but gives a sense of intrigue. I also love the layout. Also Also- Frisk’s shirt is a reference to that one submarine guy from the Titanic movie. Idk why, but the happy face with a bullet in its head just fits the vibe.