I accidentally made today a cooking day
Which is something I really enjoy so I am in a good mood
But chronic fatigue syndrome is reminding me of my limits after passing them 🤡
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🔪 hello sweet faces !! i took a couple extra shift bc bills, bills, bills, but i'll be lurking today and tomorrow before i get my two back to back days off. if you wanna dm me here (or on discord if yall have it) to plot or chit chat, pls feel free !!
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uuuugdhhdhd post human interaction depression hittin different tonite ✌🏻
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My Grammarly subscription finally ran out in December, and I'm not renewing it (see my various past rants about their introduction of AI), but I just got my final "insights" email, which tallies up how many words you've written for the past week but also since you started using it.
I almost want to frame it as a fuck you to my "I'm not doing enough" brain worms because, since September of 2019, when I reinstalled Grammarly for a pro-editing job (required by the company, as many of them now do 🙄), I've written over twelve million words.
I primarily used Grammarly for my emails.
That's 12,834,172 words of telling people they're gonna be okay. Sharing resources, doctor information, and just general words of comfort. That MCAS isn't a death sentence. That MCAS from long-covid isn't the end of their life; it's just going to be different from now on.
And here I was, feeling guilty about setting up auto-responders with links to resources because I got too burned out to do it one-to-one anymore...
...Yeah. No. I did enough.
I did enough.
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Shaak Ti and her tiny charges join the Hades AU, complete, with colourful little highlights and a dialogue box this time (and an alternate version under the cut where I tried my hand at taking the shade/Force-ghost aspect a little further than I did with Fives)
"There is no doubt that Grogu is an exceptional youngling, but I cannot take him on as a Padawan no matter how much I may wish that I could. My duty is to look after the clones as they grow and learn - we cannot just abandon them once their war is over. As a Mandalorian you must understand this. However, I would gladlyassist in your quest in any other way I can."
Linear timeline who? Rex can have a mighty white beard and then look spry and blond simultaneously, there is teenager Omega and Boba sitting on his throne on Tatooine, so just don't worry about it XD Have three of my clone OCs as baby cadets and enjoy how cute they are instead.
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
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