#and i know it’s not gonna be canon but the IDEA THAT THE ABYSS COULD BE UNDERWATER???

[kaeyapilled]

trying to put my (mostly) child kaeya headcanons in one spot. brace yourself this is gonna be so long

first i think he was around 8 years old when he was left in mondstadt.

before that he lived with his father always moving from place to place. or maybe... i dont know honestly. they didn't live in khaenri'ah (whatever's left of it) because i like the idea that kaeya is the last hope for a place he's only heard stories about. for people he has barely met. and he yearns for it all the same, enough to run away as a stowaway on a ship just for the slim chance he'll get to meet it, to return to a place he only knows through other people's memories... yeah it's a thought i like to entertain. so anyway i dont know where exactly kaeya lived before my headcanons for this are really vague lmao. im torn between making him be raised in some corner of teyvat, or somewhere very abyss touched, or... a secret third thing i dont yet know...

i think his mother died when he was so young he has barely any recollection of her and it haunts him a bit. he cant remember what she looked like. to have an idea he can just look in a mirror though. he's her spitting image.

unsure about siblings... i think he didnt have any

i dont think his father was abusive. neglectful maybe. he was really awful at the father job but mostly because of how emotionally distant he was. he never hit kaeya or went out of his way to be cruel to him, he was just very stern. kaeya was a child who didn't really know comfort. all his basic needs were met, but his father just wasn't the type to hug or say words of encouragement, to calm him down from nightmares, to soothe a fever beyond just bitter medicine and leaving kaeya laid down on the cot alone. i think the closest they ever got to that sort of connection was when he taught kaeya their clan's history, which we know he did from canon. that piece of paper where the handwriting shows an adult guiding a child's hand on the paper makes me. Feel Things. he was not a soft man or a good father by any means but. *gestures vaguely*

and you know what. i think he loved kaeya in his own way. which is to say that he loved kaeya more as a means to an end than as a son. or maybe not. maybe leaving kaeya was more difficult for him than i give him credit for. i cant really decide. either way 2/10 for effort his parenting sucked and left deep scars in this poor poor child BUT he was not a heartless asshole is what im trying to say

anyway kaeya has very bittersweet very mixed feelings about him. he left his own son all alone in an unfamiliar land for unclear reasons. placed a burden nobody should ever have to carry on the shoulders of a child. he never embraced him or told him he loved him. but at the same time we see kaeya in game trying to understand his father's motivations for abandoning him there. that maybe a happier life could have been a factor. his safety. assuming this is, like, true. i headcanon that it is. it's not the entire reason by far. but it could have been part of it. maybe that's called "wishful thinking". we'll find out one day i hope

i don't really know what to make of the entire "you're our last hope" thing. as in, what exactly does that entail. what did his father tell him. im just kinda waiting patiently for them to actually tell us what's up. i can tell you it was a ridiculous amount of pressure on kaeya though. he might have been mature for his age and forced to grow up faster than he should have but a lot of it was simply beyond his comprehension. like, that's an entire seven year old child. he shouldve been playing with toys. anyway. kaeya who has felt guilt as his standard everyday main emotion since he was little

i think kaeya's father taught him to speak, read and write in common, so kaeya could understand people pretty well when he was left in mondstadt and could read basic stuff

an extension of this headcanon: i think each region has their own language besides just common tongue, and that in general people can speak both, especially in the big cities, while in rural areas people will probably only speak the region's mother tongue. i read a mutual's headcanon like this once and it rewired my brain so i borrowed it. also common varies from place to place because there are different dialects from mixing with the nations' other languages. to make it fun!

so when kaeya gets to mondstadt he can't speak mondstadtian specifically but he can speak common and the ragnvindrs can all speak both. eventually as he stays there kaeya learns mondstadt's language and loses the accent (a very conscious effort from his part)

more on the accent: if you listen closely to him nowadays, some word or other still sounds odd, maybe too stiff, the way he rolls his tongue on certain letters- but it's very subtle

kaeya hasn't spoken his mother tongue in so long he inevitably has forgotten certain things, and he was so young when he stopped speaking it that there are things he simply never learned. i think this haunts kaeya sooo bad. he's someone who's always trying to keep little pieces of his past, of things that have a lot of emotional value for him; he's someone who values memories, in particular physical, tangible pieces of memories. and we see him do this with his roots, like adding khaenri'ahn symbols and motifs to his outfits, saving slips of paper written by his father about his family's story, etc..

so anyway the fact he's forgetting bits and pieces of his mother tongue makes him grasp desperately at whatever's still left of it in his memory. i wonder if he writes what he can om scraps of paper, or maybe an actual notebook; i wonder also if he did similar things as a child too? though it's something he'd have to keep insanely well hidden and the paranoia about someone finding it out would absolutely eat him alive

okay back to his childhood. when he's taken in by the ragnvindrs i think he's very quiet and only speaks when spoken to. he is so unfathomably scared and lonely and everything is terrifyingly unfamiliar but any genuine manifestation of fear and anxiety and homesickness is saved for the dead of night when everyone's asleep and won't see/hear him cry. he keeps to himself, acts very polite, doesn't bother anyone with asking for help or for anything beyond what he's already been offered.

diluc was very happy about having another kid his age living under the same roof and almost immediately saw him as a little brother and kaeya simply could not match the enthusiasm. they took it as him just being shy, and to an extent that was part of it, but also he simply did not want to be there at all. no matter how wonderfully kind those people were to him, kaeya missed his father and his mother and the homeland he didnt even know in person but that was his biggest responsibility. it was such an enormous change and he missed the familiarity so much it made him ill. like literally. i think he spent his first or second week with the ragnvindrs bedridden

im very fond of the hc that kaeya took ill easily as a child.

kaeya had nightmares often. i absolutely cannot see him asking for comfort in any direct way. most of the time he'd just hold his own hand through it. other times he'd slip out of bed and see there was still light coming from the study. he'd sit on an armchair next to crepus, who already knew kaeya would hardly ever speak about what was making him upset, and watch him work until he fell asleep again.

i think kaeya was a very scrawny kid who looked a bit younger than he actually was. next to diluc (who im always torn between making just seven months older than him, or a year and seven months older) he seemed even tinier. while diluc was the picture of a healthy boy, all full red cheeks and bright eyes, kaeya was too lean, eyes too tired, sometimes distant, like he's not entirely present, lost in thought. you could see a sadness in him sometimes that seemed deeper than anything a child his age should know. kaeya was quiet not just because he didn't speak a lot, but because he seemed to exist silently. if he disappeared to be alone for a while and didn't want you to find him, you would not find him.

and anyway. i like the idea of him slowly allowing himself to be louder as he becomes more comfortable with the ragnvindrs. and revealing his more sarcastic side lol. he's always been quick witted, he was just too timid at first

child kaeya who was such a weird kid. he spoke in a way that often lacked the childishness expected from someone who's yet to turn nine. said odd cryptic things with zero explanation. banned from sharing bedtime stories after scaring diluc with overly fucked up khaenri'ahn folk tales. normalest child alive. i think he bit into a crystalfly once

oh and kaeya absolutely came up with the whole "i come from a family of pirates" thing as a kid. i think he read about pirates in a book once and was completely enamored with the idea. and one side effect of being a secret agent pawn spy is the ability to spin wild tales on the spot. so anyway did he convince diluc he was toootally a pirate. yes. diluc believed him for way too long

no wonder he's so good at telling stories to kids nowadays. he's had practice

about the eyepatch: i can never settle on just one headcanon!! option one: his eye was fine as a kid and he only wore it sometimes for the pirate roleplay, then he started wearing it everyday after The Fight because diluc wounded him; option two: he always wore the eyepatch because there is something abyss/khaenri'ah related going on with his right eye (don't ask me what exactly. though im fond of the idea that it's connected to his father and it's basically what allows him to fulfill the spy role, in some nebulous way.) and during the fight diluc aimed for it on purpose; there's probably a secret third option im forgetting about. i lean more towards option one these days i think.

okay im out of headcanons for now. i bet that the moment i click post im gonna remember ten more. but its ok. i can make another post if needed. never forget that i can speak about kaeya for literal hours and that, if prompted, i will do so

[ivestas]

Can I request some gus fluff or atleast hurt/comfort?? if you could, maybe do a part 2 to this?

the broken hornet nest

Part one: LINK 

Summary: You’re told to drive Fring back to his house. 

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: spoilers for BCS s6 (entirety), very mild canon divergence, yet another mental breakdown(?) 

Note: anon, I propose to you something even better; a hurt/comfort part 2 of that fic??? jhehehehhehe i think thats a good idea 

It was evening time.

“You think they killed him..?” Victor muttered to Tyrus, whose face remained contemplative—then again, he always looked contemplative and calm. “There’s no way they’d believe Hector? Right?” 

Tyrus exhaled, almost bored. “Who knows?” He shook his head. “Probably not, though. Hector doesn’t have anything. Lalo’s buried, and so are the cameras and shit.”

“Mm.” Victor seemed unsatisfied with the answer. He opened his mouth but clamped it the moment a car appeared from a distance. 

Its lights blinked, and it only took you a second longer to realize that wasn’t just any car, but Gustavo’s. 

Suddenly, the silent buzzing of your brain erupted in noise. 

But, you were conscious of how your body presented itself; masking a face of calm, you waited as the car drew forth into the lot of the chicken house.  The same one that his lackeys and he had forced you and Nacho into submission, to join. 

“You took what I wanted, and now, your lives are mine and mine alone.” The venom in Gustavo’s voice was unfamiliar but commanding, and it stuck fear into you—not for death, no. 

But him. 

He had stared at you for a moment too long, and when you looked into his eyes, an abyss of dark and fire reflected back. There was no kindred brush of humanity—this was not a man, but a being bundled together by blood-laden promises. 

Someone called your name.

Your head snapped up, and it was Mike who stood there. 

Mike was looking at you strangely, but his voice betrayed nothing; “Mr. Fring needs you to drive him home. He drank.” 

You saw that the car was neatly parked, and in the passenger seat, you could make out the vague silhouette of Gustavo. 

“Victor’s gonna drive your car back home,” he said. 

Ah. That’s why he and Tyrus were in your car..?

Why’d you not notice that sooner? 

“Just go, kid. He’s waiting.” 

You nod. 

Briskly, you walk past him and pause for only a second to see Victor drive your car off before slipping into the driver’s seat of Gustavo’s car. 

There was a hesitance that dictated your movements, making them a little jerkier than what you wanted, a little obvious. 

When you sat, you acknowledged Gustavo with a nod, quick to secure the seatbelt. “Hello, sir.”

He looked at you. “Hello.” 

And, like a nervous schoolgirl, you averted your gaze and set your hands on the steering wheel. 

You were hyperaware of every move, and you hated it, fuck—your breathing felt too loud, your face too fucking warm, and your heart?—God, he could hear it, couldn’t he?—

A deep chuckle paused your swirl of thoughts. 

“I don’t bite, you know,” Gustavo said. “No need to be so nervous.” 

You breathe, your knuckles whitening as you clutched the steering wheel and carefully turned it. “I’m sorry.” Guilt pressed against the back of your neck like the blade of a guillotine.

“Don’t be. I understand.” Warmth lined his words. 

“I’m forced to work with the man that killed him, just the way you are.”

Your foot pressed a little harder on the gas than you intended, shooting the car into the road. 

God, having him this close was madness—memories of Nacho, and then of Gustavo, they all slam against each other, hurling you farther and farther down an unclimbable pit. 

Self-hatred was what it has evolved to; you did well at pretending everything was normal and well back at home. Back where his presence didn’t burn you. Back where you could shove away memories of that night—

“I’m glad, because I feel the same.”

You nearly choked on the air. 

A part of you begged to turn away and hole out those sinful thoughts, each slathered in feelings of betrayal—Gustavo, Gustavo, Gustavo—

Nacho, forgive me.

Please, forgive me? Please? 

But that was merciful. Forgiveness, for you? You’re too far gone. Atonement came in blood, but you didn’t have the fucking heart.

“Something’s tearing you apart, isn’t it?” 

Again, your brain froze at the sound of his voice, pushing everything to a halt. 

But guilt lingered. 

“I…” Should you be honest? Or lie? Was there a ‘right’ to this? What do you even do?

“Just talk.” His words were gentle. “Say anything.” 

Your breath shakily. “Could we, maybe, park the car somewhere? I can’t—I might—”

“Yes. Just pull over here.” 

‘Here’ being the open desert field with nothing in sight. 

You didn’t care though. You were more than eager to pull over to buy time—time for what, you weren’t sure at all. 

But when you stumbled out of the car, you shut the door and lean against it for a second. Your body was actively working against you, sucking out all energy you possessed and leaving you heaving with unbreakable thoughts—and those thoughts compounding to hit your skull. It almost made you feverish, and the answer to why was there—

—just as that answer is the same antidote to your slow, proverbial destruction. 

The crunch of gravel makes your head turn, and you saw that Gustavo was approaching your side of the car. 

He, however, didn’t say anything, nor seemed irritated at your state; he quietly slid by your side, standing still and staring at the shadowed landscape. 

He only said one word: “Talk.” 

You hated how easy it was to follow that command—and you loathed the underlying flutter of comfort that shot through you, a warmth that washed the guilt away like water over a wound. 

“I… you said that you still worked with the same people that killed your brother.” 

He turned his head to you and nodded. 

It was hard to hold his gaze, but you did so. 

“Then, do you feel guilty? Because you’re working with them?” 

“No,” he smiled. “Because I plan to toss them away like stones.” 

“Oh.” 

You stare at the ground. When you spoke, your voice was small—almost pathetic. “I don’t think I’ll be able to function much longer. I—fuck, it’s hard to put into words, but…”

The words were scary, but you said them anyway. “But I feel as though he’ll never forgive me. As if, the longer I, uh, humor what’s between us, he’ll hate me more and more.”

The words became harder, and for a moment, you couldn’t help but freeze. Speaking so openly—it felt wrong. Especially to Gustavo Fring, of all people. 

But, strangely, it felt right at the same time. As if he were the only person in the world who could properly understand—or, perhaps, the only person you could…

Trust? 

“Sir?” 

“Just call me Gustavo—” 

“Could you tell me something? Please?” 

Now you looked at him, and what you saw was a dilemma. 

Betrayal, or atonement.

“If I trusted you, what would you do?” You fully turned to him. You decide. “If I gave you my complete and undying faith, what would happen?” Would I come to regret it? Or regret not doing so sooner? 

Gustavo regarded you with a strange expression, one you couldn’t decipher at all. 

But you just stood there, watching his face, watching emotion flash like a film reel—each emotion as unreadable as the next. 

And then, he extended an open hand, palm upward. 

“I would cherish that trust,” he said quietly. “As though it were my own soul.” 

In his eyes, at that moment, you knew what he said was no lie. It was truth, illuminated in the moon’s gentle light that cradled Gustavo’s face. 

You set your hand on his. Then, with your other hand, you hesitantly set it on the back of his. You glance at him. 

He smiled warmly, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“You’re mine,” you whispered. 

His smile grew. “I always was.” 

[lagncx]

Your face-wisp

summary: Miguel isn’t your Miguel (a second chance series small chapter)

you sat down in front of Miguel who called you in to talk you were happy to see him for obvious reasons. “If we’re gonna work together you need to understand this.” He started and looked down his hands on his waist “you know I’m not him. I’m not that Miguel he died and I have no idea how you two were together I don’t remember anything he did or anything”

You wore a smile but your heart was breaking you only tried to cope by using him as a alternative it was bad for you and for him especially since he couldn’t be that for you he doesn’t want you to hurt. Your Miguel was gone he drowned all because you broke your arm using your web and the pull of his weight snapped it you could’ve dove and caught him but shit. You’d be dead too. Worst of all it wasn’t a canon event.

Fuck spiders.

is this all real? You’re stuck in my head drowning. Is what you said to the Miguel who stood next to you in all your battles and decisions guiding you. Of course he was just a figment of my imagination then

“You look at me the same but I can’t reciprocate.” Miguel said a hand on your shoulder

“I’m sorry”

The dark and moody miguel had a sympathetic look but the one behind him was yours more lean and warm happy looking and they looked identical just small differences you won’t live with the thought that he isn’t here in front of you

your eyes dart to them both

fuck. fuck. fuck. All you can see is him

“I wish I could call you mine.” You said your voice breaking as you look up at him his hand falling off your shoulder back to his hip his head tilted to watch your face drop your eyes open tears falling

“I-…can’t be him for you that wouldn’t be real for you or good for you.” He shook his head “therapy is available for everyone here-…”

“not real for me? You are real for me.” You said looking up at him making him stop talking “but I’m not Miguel. I’m not. Your Miguel.” You shook your head before you felt a hand creep up your spine all to familiar.

-few weeks ago-

you had got an anomaly pinned to the wall and to be honest you weren’t pulling punches for some reason today was extremely bad maybe the fact you didn’t see Miguel as he was busy taking a break and going out with the spider gang? Which was really just Peter lego and Jess and Peter B. Leaving you with nobody to bother. Nobody to bring an empanada. Nobody to use to mask that your boyfriend was rotting at the bottom of an abyss of salt water being picked at by fishes and sea lice. The anomaly just kept pushing your buttons he kept trying kept talking and you just couldn’t take it. And if you weren’t stopped you would’ve killed him. Fingertips came up your back going to your shoulder you stopped your breathing stopped and you turned and there was Miguel. Your Miguel he wasn’t…real he was just your imagination but he smiled kindly at you taking your face in his hands (haha…your face get it)

your eyes closed the feeling almost heavenly as he pulled you towards him his face almost distorted like you forgot how he looked but quickly came back to you it all came back he was exactly as you left him the last good memory when you two kissed after wrestling. Everything was right oh and his smell the smell of him was perfect like home. He whispered something so soft you almost didn’t hear it

“It’s time to come back to me.” you opened your eyes and he was gone your hands shaking all adrenaline was gone and no anger just empty you didn’t feel the urge to fuck up anyone right now. So you just finished the job and got the anomaly back to The others you got your report done and went to go get your wounds cleaned. -now-

Those fingers you turned and there was your Miguel who smiled and shook his head his voice low and comforting you looked back at Miguel the alive one of course “sorry Mr O Hara. Won’t happen again” you went back to a smile and laughed “memory of my boyfriend is wiped- bee boop beep” you laughed and turned pulling down your suits hood over your head walking out before Miguel could say anything.

Miguel stood there his stomach was doing backflips worrying about how the conversation would go and you took it alright. He went back to his floating platform. He played the recording

“Shh shh their coming you guys. Mama get the candles ready” the recording said it sounded like his voice Miguel smiled a little footsteps approached the apartment door it going open you came in your face bruised and tired till a bunch of confetti and balloons got thrown at you “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” everyone screamed your face scrunched from the loudness and stuffed miguel running to you hugging you then everyone went to go get things ready for your cake miguel whispering to you “happy bir-…baby what happened to your face? Don’t say it was a door.” He said holding your face “agh-…fuck baby easy it burns a little.” You got scolded by Miguel in Spanish that you didn’t understand “Cállate, sabes que es mejor que hacer lo que sea que hagas para verte así….lemme see” he pushed your head up “is that glass?…baby-“ he said in a warning tone “Miguel I’m okay I fell at work it was a wet sign and ignored it hit a coffee table okay? Let’s not get upset you threw me a party.” Miguel laughed a little at the recording obviously you had spider business that didn’t go well. Miguel sighed annoyed “you owe m-“ you cut him off with a kiss which he just stared down at you “you owe me again for cutting me off” you smiled.

the recording went off and miguel shook his head…looking down ashamed as he played another.

[boy-above]

Venti for the ask game if he hasn't been asked yet? Or or Furina!!

i'll do venti here and i might do furina in another post later :3

favorite thing about them

Most Things. i love how cute he is and how gender he is. i'm ace Except For Venti (and xiao but especially venti). not only does he look cute but everything abt him is adorable, i love his laughs and yahoos. i also love that he's an angel boy thats Very much my aesthetic. i love his personality bc underneath the front he puts up theres just this like, wiseness about him? you can tell theres a lot of things he knows that he can't tell us, but he tries to give hints when he can. he's one of my favorite characters ever and if he ever died i'd cry.

least favorite thing about them

hoyo under-utilizing him!!!! i'm hoping its bc he's gonna play a much bigger part in late/endgame but i hate how he's only been showing up in events for a few minutes and hasn't had an event or story quest dedicated to him in Such a long time. all the other archons have two story quests except him!! (and furina but im certain shes getting one soon)

favorite line

i'm sure this is a lot of ppls favorite, it illustrates his concept of freedom so well. as well as "just because you shouldn't listen to the abyss doesn't mean you should listen to me" (or something along those lines) it really shows that he wants dvalin to choose his own life, even if it would hurt venti.

brOTP

does him and his dead friend count ASDFGH like he loved him so much that he took his face so his legacy could live on forever, that's true (platonic) love.

OTP

you already know its him and XIAOOOO i love xiaoven i eat sleep and breathe xiaoven i'm obsessed with them i would die for them

nOTP

venti/zhongli or venti/aether. i also don't particularly like venti with ladies but i mean, i don't like venti with Anyone but xiao so that doesn't rly matter.

random headcanon

venti can speak the language of the wind wisps which would be cute little squeaks and chirps. there is no basis for this in canon i just love the idea.

unpopular opinion

i think venti should be allowed to have more controversial opinions himself because it seems like hoyo doesn't allow him to have negative feelings about many things. like i think he should hate raiden, she's like the opposite of everything he stands for but his voiceline for her is just about sweets or whatever.

favorite picture of them

this horny birthday art of him like HELLO??? hello??

also honestly any panel of him from the manga he's soooo slutty its great

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Ok… quick question before I seep back into the abyss that is the world off the internet, has anyone put much thought into the Johnnys and Jenny’s being related in some way??

Because I know I really like the idea of Jenny Ghost either being Ghost’s cousin or the daughter of the first Johnny Ghost that had died. And just being pissed that he’s got the same name as her dad now.

And then Jenny Toast I usually headcanon as being Toast’s sister Jenny who just… decided to quit being a cop and moved instead to the paranormal investigator business because it’s basically a cop for the paranormal. Find myself switching between her being older and younger too. Idk.

Granted I don’t remember much about the Jenny’s aside from the fact that they were fanmade and then pushed into the lore during a stream (plus that weird Twilight thing with Toast and Jenny Ghost…?)

Idk. Thoughts?

- Blue Strawberry

(Also hi! Back for a tiny bit! Probably gonna fall back into the habit of not posting for awhile and then bombarding the internet for a day again as we work through stuff over here.)

Tbh if memory serves, it wasn’t a stream that introduced the Jennys into the world, it was the billion-year-war arc— there weren’t many conversations about genderbending Ghost and Toast in the circles i was in (which tbh weren’t very involved circles so i could be wrong ^^;). People I was with also didn’t think they’d be around past the BYW… but poof, they came back in one video and I remember exactly zero details from it. Gavin was fanmade and made canon through a stream tho. I didn’t even watch the Twilight thing so you might know more stuff than me lol—

ANYways— having the Jennys be related to Ghost and Toast— whether it be through family or history— would be a good way to explain why their names are so similar. It wouldn’t give us too much to work with to figure out dynamics and relationships since they were played by the same characters to we couldn’t ever see them interact. That could also be decided through headcanons though! Seeing as i hc Ghost being raised partially by the other Johnny Ghost, having Jenny be his daughter could be interesting. Also, seeing as Toast does talk about his sister being named Jenny, I could see her coming in and joining the team if the world fell into an apocalypse. Also if it helps, i remember someone I followed on DA giving Toast TWO sisters named some variant of jenny, one older and one younger.

… tbh i sometimes wish we got more out of the Billion Year War arc— so many characters were untouched or had very little time to be developed and then never got returned to.

Also hi Blue! Glad you guys are working through things, I hope you’re staying safe

[bahbzxxx]

Before anybody gets confused…THIS IS NOT CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST.

THIS. 👏IS JUST. 👏AN EXCUSE. 👏TO SIMP FOR VENTI. 👏WHILE MAKING IT. 👏AS COMPLICATED. 👏AND DRAMATIC. 👏AND CONVOLUTED. 👏AS POSSIBLE.

In short, this is just a silly little au.

👏

I did this all in one sitting so yes thank you my grammar is atrocious

So let’s consider harbinger Venti’s situation.

Because in BarbzLANDIA, He’s canon now. Don’t @ me he moved into my silly little brain with his thousands of suitcases that he stuffs in his hat somehow and I kinda need his rent money🙄🤌💸

So consider the following:

How tf are people going to react to lord Barbatos then?

- The fatui would be petty, sis. The more mondstadt thinks they’ve been abandoned by their archon of freedom in exchange for this new wackadoodle OP harbinger, the more people will loose faith in him as their archon and not only will he lose power, but he will gain disappointment.

We Venti stans already know this poot likely Carries way more guilt and truama and depression than he lets even the traveler in on…so this is why it pleases the higher ups of the fatui and abyss to see this happen, especially since HES now the harbinger who’s ruining everything.

(Don’t you just want to spit on them and hurl sheakspearean insults at them?) (I know I would!!!!!and that’s just the start!!!)

(Why am I so mad at fanon depictions of characters I am making I will never know, but in the meantime, we tread on)

Timing? - what’s mondstadt like? What about our favorite characters? Tf they up to?

Like, it already had fatui and stuff so it would all just be blown way out of proportion. Like, imagine the fatui have been in there longer…(I think I made an imagine post a few months ago where mondstadt is suffering because Venti got *officially infected*, and because he’s the wind, the weather and much more is affected…so the fatui…they kinda just…infiltrate casually over decades, at least until they can catch the anemo archon at his lowest and have that power over him)

For the most part, at the point that I’m thinking the story would take place… fatui soldiers and the knights of favonius have basically melded into one group. Those who didn’t like the change and could leave left…but some people couldnt, for the good of Mondstadt.

The church of favonius, as time goes on, gets a lot of flack for supporting a god who clearly no longer cares or maybe even exists, in the eyes of the people who have seen it’s fall.

(It’s been rumored that, though it is rumored he is of mondstadt descent…the recent lord harbinger in residence has not stepped foot in that cathedral.-could he be ashamed of his actions…or is there something bigger behind this?)

(Maybe I’ll get to my ideas for other characters in a different post but y’all know where diluc is goin’)

(He’s going to the swimming pool. He’s gonna go swimming, and then will get a slushie. What he doesn’t finish he will give to his pet bird. His bird likes grape. He doesn’t. They will feud. He will appease the bird and give him grape. He will then get a la croix. Then he will go home and stream BNHA and act like hes todoroki, only to stop for obvious, blaringly obvious, reasons. That will be all. We tread on.)

What is the extent of Venti’s power in this? Would he have any at all?

Though he knows they do it to taunt him, he actually does.

His wishlist is simple-

1. Mondstadt is safe.

And those with power over him know that. They also know he may be more powerful than them…but he actually has class, and thinks before he acts.

So…they actually kind of trust him to be a good harbinger. They let him run mondstadt the way he see fit…he can’t just leave and give them freedom…

It Iitersll sucks cause he has to be the tyrant so that nobody else will be the tyrant and do worse things…

As long as it serves the Tsaritsa and her plans. If not…trust he will be dealt with 😥

(More on that here maybe)

Though many statues of the seven have been defunct for a while, he would still be able to gain his own power from at least one…because technically, they already have his gnosis. It just so happens that it’s still inside of him. They have him wrapped around their finger by this point…

Misc: necessary to include

Venti would be so trusted by the fatui at this point that they put him in charge of Childe. No…childe does not bump up a place. He’s still 11.

You can imagine how interesting their interactions would be.

(You can imagine how offended he is)

Diluc is the token fugitive before the traveler and posse(posse being paimon and the Windblume in question) shows up in mondstadt looking for their sibling

[rhineposting]

I trust you on everything rhine-related more than Hoyo themselves. There is so much build up on this character, what do you think is the best/ easiest way the folks at Hoyo could introduce rhine to the main story/ archon quest? I am asking as most of the lore is sadly from limited events, so there is this clear disconnect from what the canon traveler knows and what players ( that have not been through every event ) knows. Thanks!

OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A RHINEDOTTIR RELATED ASK FOR SO LONG, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM - AND HEARING THAT SOMEONE TRUSTS ME MORE ON RHINE THAN HER CREATORS THEMSELVES???? I'm gonna combust, I think!! BUT! TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION...!

Before we even get into the writing of that possible scene, the most important thing is that she serves cunt. We're speaking astronomical, gagging levels of serving cunt. If it's not the most out of fucks to give, yet simultanously the most theatrical entrance of all time, then what's the point? None. Absolutely. Zero. You know how Signora was first introduced? Yeah, that, but serving even HARDER. There needs to be a soundtrack with the hardest beat drop known to man. Choirs. Synths. Bass. Everything. Big introductory caption all over the screen. A camera zoom on her eyes. You KNOW exactly what I mean. It needs to look like straight out of a movie and a TikTok edit to Megan Thee Stallion or phonk music at the same time. If she's not the star, the queen of her own big entrance after almost three years, then I'm quitting the game. She's a girlboss and she deserves a girlboss introduction. End of story. Okay, as for the actual lore, writing and stuff... I think it'd be a nice idea to introduce her during a Dainsleif quest, possibly branching off from the player investigating the Rifthounds around Wolvendom and meeting up with Dainsleif once he comes back from his nap in his cardboard box home. As the quest continues, we get more and more insight into the nature of the Cataclysm and how crucial Khemia was to Khaenri'ah. Eventually as the quest goes into a mandatory dungeon sequence with tons of notes dropped around everywhere, at the end of the dungeon we meet... Her.

She recognizes Dainsleif and Dainsleif recognizes her. The two exchange words. Preferably with Rhinedottir taunting Dainsleif, who in turn reminds her of what she had done. The player is forced to remember Paimon exists as she repeats what was said for the last five minutes and says something that's supposed to be funny. Eventually after an incredible cutscene, Rhinedottir makes her girlboss exit and leaves Rifthounds behind that we have to fight off or something. Maybe a boss-fight. Then we talk to Dainsleif, who explains even more again. He says something about going to investigate her to see if she isn't working with the Abyss Order by any chance. That of course results in Dainsleif disappearing for another year, leaving us with even more questions and girlboss vs manfail footage. Fin. That way, the player knows what they're dealing with regarding Rhinedottir, with the events being extra flavorings to that, so older players know she's extra messed up while the new ones can still appreciate her as a villain. However... Considering that tomorrow HoYoverse might release a Chapter Interlude trailer that likely features the Hexenzirkel, we might get her introduced Winter Night's Lazzo style. Which is just as good. Incredible, even. But yeah, that's about it!!! Thank you for asking and for your kind words!!!!

[featherlouise]

How does PK react to Hollow's death in the HFD au??

POORLY, to say the least

Like, we already know how WL and PK deal with grief in canon, with WL shutting herself in her gardens and PK fucking off to the dream realm with his palace in tow, and that's after the infection presumably slows down for a bit bc of the sealing.

In the Hollow Fkin Dies au (which is what I'm now calling it if I post any more about it so ty for that lmao) I doubt they'd really get the chance to properly react bc Radi just kinda goes apeshit.

I think maybe with the realisation that Hollow wasn't actually hollow would probably bring PK and WL together in their grief, at least enough for WL to end up staying in the palace, which ends up being a terrible fking idea.

At least her gardens were secluded, but the city is densely populated, and by the time she realises that pretty much everyone is infected, it's too late to make her way to her gardens, so she's effectively stuck. PK would be absolutely RACKED with guilt, and would probably shut himself in his workshop for days at a time, feeling every time one of his people's minds is ripped away from them (hc that he's the god of the mind I figure he can tell when his gift is torn away from one of his people).

He'd be constantly fending off assassination attempts from infected citizens, and it doesn't take long for him to be paranoid enough to bring a small squad of kingsmoulds with him everywhere he goes. With this in mind, I'm gonna retcon him being killed by a random infected person.

After Hollow's death, I figure he'd be haunted by the question of 'if the pure vessel wasn't hollow, who's to say any of them were,' and eventually would find himself venturing into the abyss for the first time since the pure vessel emerged.

By this point, any surviving vessels have either escaped or died, and all he finds at the bottom is thousands of children's corpses, and a bunch of very angry shades. Idk maybe he throws himself into the void sea or something, refusing to allow the Radiance the satisfaction of killing him herself. Maybe he's just a coward. Maybe the guilt becomes too much.

Radi doesn't really have any quarrel with WL, so leaves her to her grief, and she roots herself down inside the palace.

As for Hollow's body?? PK makes a fkin shrine snow white style, where their body is preserved. PK spends a lot of time just sitting in there, staring at them, trying to memorise their face, recontextualising all the little moments during their childhood where they let a sliver of their personality shine through, bc PK never really knew his child, and now he never will.

Alternatively: seeing his child succumb to infection could be the last straw for PK, and after centuries of burying his past as a Wyrm, he shows her what it really means to be an angry god. No I won't elaborate on the alt ending bc I've put exactly zero thought into it and have no clue where to take it lmfao

[epicfranb]

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS i got an idea for a new au 😅 BUT HEY i believe it's ,y first actual Life Series AU, and i called it: nth life_

The usual team, no new characters, no lizzie and mumbo (sorry lizzie and mumbo), they get 3 lives (tho that could be changed) and their goal is... to survive in the void. (inspired by this video lololol)

Initially i wanted them to have some time on the surface, they they have to go down and survive in the void for as long as they can. i struggled to imagine how that would go, so i uh... accidentally might've made a Made in Abyss crossover 😅

So, each session, the guys go down lower and lower in the world. first it's just caves, then it's the deep dark, then they start going deeper and deeper... the nether and the end are also layers, they can't just go there whenever they want. And i want to add some cool mc mods in there to spice things up (mostly so layers are cool and different, but also mods that let them find or make food where there isn't any in vanilla)

Now, i don't want to copy Made in Abyss in that going back to the upper levels has more negative effects the lower you go, but i do want some sort of drawback to doing so. I think the lower levels could be opened up gradually, so nobody rushes, and the lower you go, the better materials and equipment you can get, so players are discouraged from staying in one place for too long, and setting up permanent bases IS NOT ALLOWED. You do need materials from every level to survive the void though.

Void really fucks with people's heads. The closer they are to it, the more paranoid and anxios they become. Some wil also become aggressive, have hallucinations or derealization, thinking they're in previous season or in a different series bringing up things that didn't happen and people that aren't there (Grian searching for Mumbo? Etho paranoid that Gem is out to get him? Pearl and Cleo feeling like Lizzie and Gem respectively possess them?)

With that, i think it could start out silly,similar to how the normal series usually goes, but, as theygo down, it gets more serious in tone and even steps into the horror category. that could be neat.

I either don't want watchers there at all, or have a non-obvious interpretation from fanon? Something like in OFF, DDLC or Undertale, where the player is a separate character in the story, but here it's the reader. Idk yet if the reader will be able to make choices or not. Could intepret watchers in some fun way, but only if it adds something to the story. They don't need to be there and they're only canon to Martyn anyway im pretty sure

I guess the reader could make a choice of whose story to follow, mirroring how you choose POV's when you're watching the actual series. Like, Martyn and Cleo are doing something, and there's Joel and Scar somewhere else at the same time, and you choose who to watch. Could also add replayability/rereadbility (is that a word??)

I imagine the whole thing as a text adventure, with cryptic vibes like "breaking the 4th wall/they know they're in a game" and "liminal space/backrooms". there could also be puzzles for the audience to solve to make it more engaging and immersive :)

Maybe i could start out by deciding who teams up with who. I don't want to pair up people who i actually want to pair up, cuz that could make me focus solely on them (looks at clethubs), but i still want the teams to go well together and have fun dynamics.

Some brainstorms from 1 am me:

For Jimmy, i want him to team with someone as stupid+silly+goofy like himself. Current options include: BigB, Martyn, Skizz (i might go w him) and Ren. Any combination of them could also work.

The team i'm 100% decided on is... Etho, Pearl and Cleo. Girlbosses + a wet rag

Joel and Bdubs would be suuuuper fun. Tango, Joel and Bdubs? Do i want a team that just gonna yell at eahc other all the time? Perhaps yes,

But Scott and Bdubs... sounds chaotic.

I want Grian with Impulse!!

Scar and Ren are left? Scar and Joel could be a good combo.

Aaaand that's everything for now. It's not an au i believe i can work on by myself though. as much as i like this concept, it feels like one of those that i will abandon very quickly, especially seeing as i have other au's i'd like to work on... but i want to at least do a lil bit on this one!! so uh... if anyone gets the vision and wants to collab... i invite u :D

[misted-buttercup-enjoyer]

Everything We Know About The Void/The Abyss

Greetings, today I would like to discuss the void. The general fandom concept of the void is that Gaster, Chara, and Dess are trapped there together, where their main purpose is memes. That particular idea is (sadly) mostly fandom-made. In fact, Gaster doesn’t even seem to be trapped in the void. Despite this, the void isn’t entirely fanon. There’s canon ground for believing this “void” exists. So here we go: Everything we know about the void. And if I miss anything, don’t hesitate to point it out.

This is more of an archive then a theory or analysis. It seems to leave more questions than answers. But I will leave my personal thoughts at the end.

1: Undertale

There's a lot to unpack here.

The first time any of us would have been aware of the void was when the game spat us there just before the Photoshop Flowey fight. Flowey had absorbed the six human souls, and now we’re in this huge black expanse. Definitely not the castle anymore. Flowey himself does not comment on their surroundings, but isn’t surprised to be there. Did he put us there? Did he plan on being here? What’s going on?

Flowey is useless for any information, he just monologues about how he’s becoming God or whatever.

We fight Photoshop Flowey and when it’s over we either spare or kill Flowey. 

Either way, we’re now in the last room of the Castle, a patch of grass with sunlight streaming through and a purple door. So was all that blackness just the background of a battle after all?

After we leave the purple door, we’re in the black expanse again. Is this the void? Or the tunnel to the Surface that we seemingly use to get to the Surface at the end of True Pacifist? This is where we receive our Neutral Ending.

The way Flowey talks to us at the end of Pacifist suggests we may be trapped there. He talks like this is a hopeless and sad situation.

We do not know where we are, simply put, but evidence in Deltarune suggests this could be the void.

Finally, at the end of a Pacifist run, Flowey addresses us, again, in the seeming void, begging us not to reset.

And, if you do a genocide run, after you crush Flowey into pieces, you will meet Chara (or whatever you named the fallen human) in the void. After you reload the game in genocide, this is where Chara takes your soul. However you have also destroyed the world at that point. So there could be nowhere else for Chara to be talking to you. We can conclude that the void is outside of the physical world.

So is that it? That’s all we have about the void? Nope! There’s interesting information in Deltarune.

2: Deltarune

In a void-like area, a mysterious voice addresses you, speaking in a similar manner to Dr. Gaster while Another Him plays. (I’m gonna go ahead and assume this guy is Gaster.) This is probably where the idea of Gaster being trapped in the void originated. At first he’s addressing you in pitch-black, but then the screen goes a bit purple while you build your vessel, weird lines adorning the background. This place is called in the game’s code “The Abyss.” After your vessel is discarded, you go from the Abyss to your bedroom as Kris. Is the abyss the same as the void? Maybe.

Meanwhile, there's a Deltarune.com, which has existed for about as long as Undertale by the way, this is where various text used to appear (such as Gaster saying “This next experiment seems very, very interesting” years before Deltarune Chapter One released.) Now it's a much more normal website, but it used to have a dark background akin to the void. And the background is...still black, but not everything that's black is the void. Though you could make the case the background of Deltarune.com is the void.

If you type in deltarune.com/dess , this image of a red guitar will come up, and if you click on it, the song “Lost Girl” will play. There is a shadow–or is that a light? but nothing but blackness all around it besides that. But surely there's some sort of light, then, if there’s a shadow? Or, again, that might be a light shined onto that particular area? Maybe Dess had a flashlight with her, if she’s got that guitar with her. But then again, WAIT! Is that where Dess is? The void?

Well, it’s definitely a possibility. She does describe where she is “dark…so dark here.” She does state that she is completely alone, which would make sense. When we meet people in the void, it’s usually the Player and one other person (or a phone call.) Without us, it’s reasonable to assume Dess would be completely alone there. But we still don’t know a whole lot about Dess's disappearance.

Plus, if the place this guitar is really is the void, then Dess is probably there, since the guitar plays Lost Girl. This theme was at first associated with Noelle, but Toby stated it wasn’t necessarily Noelle’s theme and could play in scenes she wasn’t in. This could be Dess’s theme.

But, this isn’t about Dess. So we’ll leave speculation about the Lost Girl at that for today.

3: My Personal Theory

In Undertale, all the battles have black backgrounds, but it’s still clear you're in a particular place. For instance, when you fight Asgore, you’re still in the castle, since twilight is shining through. And when you fight Undyne, you’re still at Waterfall, because wind is howling.

But there’s a certain blackness around every area in the game, and characters seem to be aware of this, to some degree. For instance, in the Nintendo switch edition, Froggit tells you about borders and mentions that since there’s no frog-themed one, it’s just pointless. So wait, is that decorating the void????? In Deltarune, the border is based around where you are.

Maybe the void is just the blackness, the in-between, the mysterious glue that keeps the world together, that connects everything. If Dess is trapped there, that could explain why she reports hearing scratching sometimes. Maybe she’s hearing something from the normal world.

But hey, that’s just a theory, a [HYPERLINK BLOCKED!]!!!!

And I believe that's all we know about the void! If I’m forgetting anything, make sure to mention in the comments! Gimme the lore, gimme the lore. I don’t want a single shred of undertale/deltarune information slipping from between my fingers.

All right, I'm finished with this undertaking, let's call it a day. Reverse salutations, take care of yourself!

P.S. Thanks for all the support on my "Noelle and Chara Parallels" analysis, it really warmed my heart and encouraged me to keep making Undertale/Deltarune content! ^^

[kae-karo]

Maybe a weird one but what about Childe if he didn't fall in the Abyss and Zhongli? as a ship or not, up to you!

I know we don't know much about him pre abyss but I'm curious about your thoughts hehe

OHOHOHO now this is inch resting indeed 🤔🤔 for context (x)

i think this is gonna depend on how childe like As A Person and whether we think the battlelust comes from the abyss or from just...him? which i don't really have a good analysis on or answer for so for the sake of argument if childe simply did not have that battlelust, what would their relationship look like?

frankly i think he's a "face things head-on" kind of person, and in a very similar way as he is in canon, where he doesn't like manipulation or politics or anything like that. i bet he is SUPER good with kids partly for that reason, like. he isn't out here trying to manipulate kids into going to be on time or whatever, he's just straight up like 'look u stay up late ur gonna be tired and u can decide what u want to do'. big on letting consequences speak for themselves

this is going somewhere but by god if i have any idea where lmao

ANYWAY i think he doesn't cause the same kinds of problems without his battlelust, and doesn't join the fatui, and doesn't leave snezhnaya until his little siblings are chomping at the bit to go to some 'lantern rite festival thing' they learned about in school all the way over in liyue. and, well, they don't have a lot of cash (no fatui), but childe works his goddamn ass off to get them all over there the next year, and that's how he meets zhongli

i think that what strikes me about zhongli here is that i don't think he ever fell for childe (broadly speaking, ship or not) for his battle prowess lmao. like. i think it's every other aspect of him - things that probably still persisted without his battlelust - that zhongli appreciated? like, i don't think his drive or determination disappears without the battlelust, it's just pointed in a different direction (that probably involves making enough money to help support his family)

so i think childe studies. i think he's the smartest guy in the entirety of morepesok, i think he knows way more than any person has a right to know, and he's never really satisfied with that, cause smart people, they make money, so the smarter he is, the more money he can make (he reasons), but that doesn't happen in snezhnaya, certainly not in morepesok, but in liyue? the place is CRAWLING with opportunities for a good job, if he's smart enough to get one (and he damn sure is), so he sends his siblings back and stays longer, and gets a job where he can send money back i swear this isn't just a childe analysis here lmao

ANYWAY i think he finds zhongli not only impressive and hot but i think he has an even greater appreciation for the fact that zhongli is a walking liyuen encyclopedia? and (true to fanon canon-universe zhongchi form) he loves to just listen to zhongli talk. could do it for hours and hours, if zhongli wanted to talk that long

i think too that childe without the abyss and without the battlelust and without the fatui would give them time in a way they never have in canon, for their dynamic to actually evolve more organically in a way it never really had a chance to. but honestly fundamentally i think it rests on the same pillars it does in canon, with a childe that fell into the abyss!

send two genshin characters (ship or not) and i’ll give u my take on their dynamic

[riewritten]

24 HAVOC

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST | chapter directory

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you, no y/n | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Trigger warning: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues, trauma, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3

As much as you're accustomed to terror, you actually preferred having the sun peak at its highest during the times you have to face such. That way he won't be too hard to spot, not too hard to go to. His features are greatly accentuated that way as well— from the hues of his eyes to his voice constantly laced with anger and finality. But everything's dark right now, smokey even, and you pretty much don't have an idea of what's happening anymore. After confronting the Colossal and having it release steam enough to burn up the whole five squads including yours, your consciousness got hazy and everything went beyond comprehensible. You knew well that not even Erwin's intricacies of strategy would make this doomsday a little bit better, and you've pretty much registered that you're ready to see him die as much as you're prepared to face death yourself.

After a moment of floating in an abyss, you barely opened your eyes again and realized you're now lying on a rough asphalt surface, feeling as if boiling water was thrown all over your body. It was a minute until you realized the fight was over. You've readied yourself for this. Yeah, you pretty much did; you gently told yourself. Even though the last decent interaction you've had was when he leaned his head on your shoulders, you got the courage to accept that as the last. You know for certain that preparing yourself for the dusk preceding into darkness and having it for the rest of your days is always easier said than done, but still—

You abruptly felt Hange cover your eyes then you're shot back to reality again; your sobs tipped at its loudest despite your whole body staying unmoved. Your hands were trying to reach up, perhaps to crawl, towards a glimpse you didn't even recognize that much.

“Calm her down or knock her unconscious. She’s noisy.” Levi muttered with pain lacing his voice. Hange coaxed you to let yourself rest because everyone standing on this roof is literally the only ones who survived and they can't have you dead because of something like this. As your cries slowly went weaker, a vague thought rattled your last bits of consciousness: you're pretty much an empty shell again, but unlike before, you can’t deal with this anymore. Your mind’s not that clear to reason out why, but this is absolutely your tipping point.

But then the ground shook and your fuzzy thoughts were cut off. With Hange removing their hand and your eyes opening wide, the armored titan stood in his glory. You can’t believe the fight’s not yet over and everyone would indeed end up dead. He swayed his hand to crush all of you into pieces and so you shrieked for those who could to move out of here quickly. However, as confusing as it was, no one on that roof listened.

Then his hand came. Your vision blacked out.

"Hey," A palm rested on your head with your eyes closed. "It's okay. Nothing's gonna hurt you."

"Isabel…?" You pondered. "Am I dead now?"

She chuckled, "No! You're having a hard time but you're not dead. What’s bothering you?"

The armored titan crushed us. That's what was bothering me.

"Here. Drink some water first. You've been crying a lot since earlier." Furlan chipped in. 

"She clearly can’t hear us. Let's bring her to the hospital already." Levi asked from quite a distance.

Why? Do we still have the means to—no, wait. This is weird.

In a blink of light, you can see things again and this time it’s way more comprehensible. You're in Isabel's bed. She’s seated beside you. Furlan is standing in front, holding a glass. Levi's leaning on the door with arms crossed. 

After a moment, Isabel raised her hand in front of you. “What number is this?” You didn’t answer. Even if you can see clearly, your brain’s too distorted to even comprehend how many that was.

Furlan scooted towards you and rested the glass on your cheek; you instinctively flinched yet he didn’t remove it. “Is it cold or warm?” You didn’t answer. You don’t feel it at all.

This time, Levi walked nearer but quickly halted when you gasped. Oh god, you muttered as the ground shook. Is it an earthquake? You rested your hands on the bed to feel it and thereby rationalize. No, this is definitely not an earthquake. You glanced towards them again and the look on their faces was as horrified as you are. 

“The titans,” You released a shaky breath upon realization. “Have they finally come here? In this world?” You saw Levi open his mouth to say something but was cut off by huge stones being thrown all over the area. The overwhelming sounds made you shriek in panic. You even heard some land hardly on the balcony. With both hands gripping the sides of your head, you faced the three. “What are you waiting for? We have to move quickly! Are you planning to die here?”

“What is–” Furlan was cut off with another bang; you flinched again. It presumably landed in the dining room.

“The gears, we don’t have gears with us.” You panicked. “Maybe we can avoid the boulders if we crawled but–” Then tried to stand up and walk. “–if we stayed on the ground the titans might–”

You were cut off when Levi shouted out your name. He’s already in front of you with hands clasped on your shoulders. “Come to your senses! There are no titans here, no boulders even! You have to calm down!” Then silence came, not because you believed him but because you remembered his remark on that roof— “Calm her down or knock her unconscious. She’s noisy.” — It dreaded you for the second time; you're pretty much an empty shell again, but unlike before, you can’t deal with this anymore. You placed a palm on top of your head, gently this time, then messy sobs came out. Levi’s grip on your shoulder lightened. Your knees weakened. You let yourself fall to the ground.

“Erwin–” You huffed a loud sob. “Erwin’s gone.” 

“He’s what?” Isabel exclaimed in panic.

Levi sighed and then reached for his phone. “He’s not talking about that Erwin.” Before he went out of the room, he called for Furlan and Isabel. “Get the oil in mom’s closet and make her smell that. Wrap her up in a blanket and help her ground. Grab her meds downstairs as well.”

The fiasco pretty much ended after that, at least on the outside. Erwin arrived not too long after as well. You saw him walk inside the room, felt his hand when he cupped your cheek, saw his mouth open as if he called for your name; all that yet you can’t respond. Not only did the sensations feel so weak and your muscles can't be lifted, but you can also see and hear plenty of moments happening all at once. From Erwin sitting beside you as he asked how you are doing, your knife pointed to an old king with long hair and a thick beard, a little girl with light hair and a cloth headband running towards a huge tree that lit up moments after, and then—

"Here." Levi handed you a cup in his hand. "Have a tea first before we talk about the mess earlier." You were about to try lifting your hand to get it but then Levi's figure glitched, terribly so, as if you're watching a horror movie but it's from your own eyes and not a mere TV screen. 

"Have a tea first before we talk about you quitting the Scouts according to Erwin's will. He didn’t plan to deprive you of your job. He just indicated that you retransfer to the Military Police." He handed you a cup that smelt like chamomile. 

"I'm not quitting.” You scowled in anger. “Who the hell does he think he is, making me abide by orders without any ounce of rationality? He’s literally a corpse now. Cut me off some slack.”

Then it glitched again. It took you a blink to realize you're back being on Isabel's futon; Erwin and Levi were staring at you aghast.

"What was that? Who the hell gave you order without an ounce of rationality?" Levi remarked in shock. Erwin looked sidewards with eyebrows curled in worry, or guilt– you don’t know. Your brain's too foggy to comprehend it.

"I'm not… sure. Everything's occurring in my head all at once." Your voice tipped down into mumbles. “There’s a little girl, tree, knife, old man, tree…”

Levi nudged at Erwin, "Experienced the same?"

"No," Erwin muttered. "It never became as confusing as that."

Confusing as that…? You abruptly flinched as if realizing something and called Erwin's name in quite a panic. "This world's getting fragile. One snap then it'd crumble away only to get replaced with that. What if we're too late?"

“It won’t.”

“No! You must understand it more than anyone!”

Erwin scooted nearer and palmed your cheeks. "How do my hands feel?"

"Huh?" You ignored his remark with curled eyebrows, "We might have not much time le–"

"Feel it and answer me." He cut you off sternly with a hard stare.

It took you a couple of seconds to answer. "It's warm." Your voice broke.

"What do warm hands mean?"

"It means–" You bit your lower lip. "–you're alive."

"What's the difference in that world?"

Tears fell, "You're dead in there."

"So how would that replace this world if it got a completely different situation?" You got silent. Erwin, just as usual, slid his thumbs on your cheeks to wipe the tears away. After a while of not responding, his stare softened again. "See now? I told you over and over again. It can never replace this world."

When Erwin realized you're trying to register it, he removed his hands on your cheeks. You almost got the ability to ground yourself as they let you but you lost it again after attempting to explain what’s going on inside you. "But there are so many worlds existing in my head. Various events, different conversations, piling up and up and up–" Your temples throbbed again. You gripped your hair. It was only a matter of time before your vision blurred and your head felt heavy. Voices of Erwin and Levi asking you what was happening got weaker until you couldn't hear them anymore. Despite the attempts to not admit defeat, you lost your consciousness again.

When you opened your eyes, you realized you're now standing in the woods. It’s dusk. You can hear wild dogs roaring from a distance, footsteps in your direction, and a running little girl wearing tattered clothes and a headband. There was an arrow pierced in her shoulders. For some reason, you’re hearing a male voice in your head and you can recognize it despite not hearing it ever before.

What am I watching this time?

The owner of that voice, named Wahren, was hiding inside a bush as he watched the little girl desperately run for dear life. He was supposed to kill her, that’s what he was told, as he’s one of the soldiers tasked to hunt her down all because she released some livestock out of the pen. He also had no idea where his guts were coming from. He knew too well that the tribe’s ruler never got mercy. It can quickly kill a lowly man like him for not following through with orders. However, a thought was tingling inside his head; this little girl had a semblance and fate with his late little sister, killed by a silly mistake as well at the same age. Perhaps it was his grief, desperation even, to not see something like that ever again. Maybe sparing this one quite a little would calm his guilt for failing to protect someone most dear to him even for a tad bit; perhaps he's just projecting. But then again, it’s not like he has something to live for either way. If he got busted for it, he could just kill himself before they do. 

His thoughts and steps came to a stop upon seeing an uncanny massive tree with a crevasse at its base, and he was too aghast to even mutter a word. He often comes inside the woods to hunt but never in his life had he seen such a tree. Nonetheless, the little girl came running towards it and Wahren sighed in relief. The sunset just ended after all. She’d be hard to spot from hereon. As he turned his back to go back and feign ignorance at what he just saw, the tree was abruptly hit by a flash of lightning. The whole area burned up and unfortunately, he’s too near to even dodge it. Still, the last thought that came to Wahren’s mind was sheer relief. He could finally die and even if the concept of the afterlife never came across his mind, what he desperately wished for was to lose grasp of his failures, the trembling culpability of having every loved one dead while he remained alive. 

As much to his dismay, he woke up the morning after. The whole area wasn’t burnt into crisp, not at all. The plants nearby actually bloomed too quickly that he almost thought he was in a completely different place. The tree was gone and the little girl was nowhere to be found as well.

Most importantly, something uncanny was occurring inside his brain. He held on to his temples as they throbbed very hard; heaps of different events and possibilities were ensuing all at once— humans running from giants, giants running from humans, humans with unimaginable things that could explode and harm other beings, humans surrounded by the tallest of tallest structures, and different worlds materializing everytime a choice is made. It was constant that he almost lost his head; he even fainted only to wake up with the same feeling again. 

It was months-long of mind torture until Wahren fully grasped what was happening. After all, the little girl came back with a mysterious power at hand as well. Something must be up in that tree that caused his ability to see different arrangements beyond imagination. And one dreary night inside his hut, he realized that he wasn’t just seeing worlds to worlds, he could go beyond structuring one as well. It was perhaps the happiest moment in his entire life; he even almost went for it. Who wouldn’t? He had lost so much ever since this tribe conquered their land, killed his parents, cut his and his sister’s tongue, and eventually killed his sister afterward— he had no hope left and nothing to anticipate. He couldn't see any reason to have the world continue its existence.

As much as he was delighted, however, huge fear lingered deep inside his consciousness. If he ever came to use his power, what would happen to the world he resided in? Would it crumble, perhaps cause the end of the world? Can he carry such a burden in the new one he’s going to build? Would he be some sort of an ominous being afterward? His smile didn’t last long as dread consumed him of uncertainties. If he decided to never use his ability, the overwhelming existence of all worlds wrapped inside his head might last for a lifetime. If he used it, he might become a god-like being, kill everyone, and carry a big burden in exchange for such a huge power. And he doesn’t want that. Not everyone would.

His reluctance and cold feet stopped for good one cold night when he managed to save a woman who just birthed without anyone, aside from him, rushing to help. Her tongue was cut, too, and she looked like left alone outside to die with the infant. It was when Wahren realized that he still wasn't done projecting his guilt into protecting anyone he saw fit. And as he took in the two beings under his care, they eventually became his only two reasons to not risk this world towards banishment; the same ones that heightened his apprehension towards the newfound power. Not only did he need to protect his new family from it, but he also had to keep it from the threat of exploitation. Unlike the young girl, he doesn’t want to be at the disposal of the Eldian tribe. He has a will of his own and that is to safeguard the existence of those he deems important. Wahren didn’t deprive his descendants of this knowledge but he enclosed it as a silly bedtime story in hopes that they would never carry such a burden of existence inside them. As he watched them get older, he then realized that none of his children got it. Relieved at that fact, Wahren was able to die in peace.

But then again, perhaps any optimism towards a full-on curse will always be a futile struggle. Every single descendant of Wahren who’d end up in a fate similar to him, the tormenting grief leading towards hopelessness of having the world continue its existence, will have the same crosses to bear. 

Hundred years passed with the persistence of the titan war and Wahren’s descendants were obliterated all at once as collateral of a battle, only because they happened to live on the east border of Eldia. Verra, the lone survivor of the attack, was immensely covered in anguish after having everyone she grew up with stomped down into nothingness. A ray of hope struck her after a family of Marleyan farmers kept her in right after. They were kind and understanding, to say the least, that they didn’t mind having an Eldian under their wing despite the same race subjecting them to endless aggression. However, that only hope was shattered for good after the same farmers got massacred by Eldian forces years after.

On that ghastly day, not only smoke and dust from the carcasses daunted Verra’s vision but also the memories of every ancestor who got the same power triggered, as well as the fragments of different worlds coexisting all at once– something that’d wreak havoc inside her head from hereon.

After a blink, she saw herself lying down in a vast space. She was as if inside a thick straight line with transparent walls and grounds. Above her was a line as well consisting of what seemed to be a different dimension full of imperceptible animals and brown sand; below her was a civilization of humanity with silverish elements towering them. On her both sides, an abyss of darkness with twinkling lights stood in its glory. Despite being here for the first time, she completely knew what this place was as she saw it in the fragments of memories moments ago; she’s in the Parallel, a space where the first founder of this power resides. She gave herself a slap and the pain confirmed that she was still indeed alive. The screams of her brain that urged her to get out of this quick were all cut off when the aged man with tied-up hair and a long thick beard appeared. He was wearing a ragged brown robe. He’s not unfamiliar, not at all, for she saw his memories as well moments ago.

It was Wahren, the first bearer. He reached a hand at her so she could stand up, and as she followed suit, she heard him speak inside her mind instead of a voice coming out straight from his mouth. “This will not be a long talk for you’re already aware of the conditions.” He started as Verra examined him. “Now I must ask, do you plan to have the power at your disposal?”

She undoubtedly would. If she ever could make a world where Eldians and the same titans who wrecked her home would perish, she would use it without hesitation. She’ll have them at her mercy, crush all of them repeatedly until they’re all unmoveable heap. She’ll laugh at them, have them reminded of every single time they—

“You might be misunderstanding something here, young woman.” Wahren cut her thoughts as if he heard her just well. “I must apologize. The stipulation revolving the power of the parallel might be unclear to you as of the moment.”

“Then explain so. If I ought to do something that’d guarantee the ability all for myself then I’d be more than willing to have it.”

“I doubt you would.” He interjected in lament. Before she could retort, however, he added. “You only have partial access to this dimension because you’re one of my descendants. To have it completely, the bearer must voluntarily eliminate themselves in the world they are in and they must do so by dusk.”

Verra released a wry chuckle, “You think I can’t do that? I don’t have anyone in that world anymore. That’s the easiest thing I could do next time I wake up again.”

“After obtaining cognition on the existence of multiple worlds, you must know next that you can’t make a completely new one on your own. All you have under your ability is to occupy an existing one and impose two conditions under your privilege– one concerning physical laws and one in pursuit of your will, as the bearer, throughout your life.”

Despite not having the particular conditions in mind yet, Verra still had the certainty and taunt in her features. “So all I have to do to obtain it is to have myself killed by dusk?”

“The conditions the bearer must set upon their power must be pondered seriously.” Of course, I would; Verra interjected in her thoughts. “After all, those conditions would exist in exchange for the bearer’s existence.”

There, the smug look on her face was replaced with shock. “Does that mean I’ll…?”

“Right. The bearer will cease to exist in the world they plan to set conditions on.” Wahren quickly replied. “Do you think the conditions you had in mind are something so worth it that you’d risk your existence for it?”

She’s quite in denial, “My existence in that world, as a woman belonging in Eldia? Is that what you meant?”

The old man shook his head no. “Your existence in every world subsisting in space.”

That’s where the flash of memory ended. The last thing you’ve felt from Verra’s consciousness was immense reluctance. Perhaps if she could have such power at her disposal, she must have the privilege of relishing it as well.

And that’s what sets the line between the two of you; you never cared for your existence to begin with. If you’ve got the privilege to impose even the subtlest conditions on some world just so the people you deem important would live a relatively better life, you will never hesitate, not even at the expense of your being. Furthermore, months after you recovered from the catastrophe in Shiganshina, you were made aware that Hange is dismissing you from your post as a Scout. You’re not clear on the reason just yet and you even glowered the first time you heard it, but you started taking no mind of it after that vision came. If you can’t leverage your job as a soldier to die by dusk, you’ll do it yourself instead.

That is until Levi came banging on your door before evening came.

His eyebrows curled upon seeing the mess beside the barely opened door. “What the fuck? How can you live like this? Are you a rat?” He was wearing a white polo underneath a black blazer with his cravat displayed neatly. He was also holding a letter sealed in an envelope, presumably from Hange.

“Speak of your intentions or leave.” You groggily replied.

“This is about Hange’s order to make you quit–”

“I know it already. Go away now.” You quickly cut him off and were about to shut the door but Levi stopped it with a foot.

“You didn’t report for one month and two weeks already since your recovery, ignored every subordinate that came knocking at your door, and even left the hospital without decent notice.” He lowly remarked. “Now why do you think Hange forced me on an errand as silly as this?”

Still, you’re unperturbed. “Tell Hange I already accept whatever’s imposed regarding my job.”

“You didn’t even hear it properly. A soldier reported you were still barely rational when they brought the message and you even made a scene inside your room until the damn doctors sedated you. Have you lost some screws in the head? Do we need to recover it in Shiganshina, perhaps beside Erwin’s corpse?”

You’re still not used to the upheaval of existence swamped inside your head for a while now and you can’t deal with this without a ringing headache. You shut your eyes tight and hissed in pain. “Please, just—come back the next day. I just need to sleep this headache away.” And lied. You’re also quite in a rush right now as it’s a few moments away until dusk.

“It was on Erwin’s last will to have you quit,” Levi muttered then your eyes were shot wide. “That’s why Hange can’t go against it.”

Your hands started trembling a little and Levi took the opportunity to kick the door open so he could enter. “If you’ll keep on being a damn child right now then be my guest.” He grabbed your hand gently, much to your surprise, and ushered you to the dining table.

You sighed heavily as you sat, “Then don’t bother yourself. I need to be alone right now.”

He ignored you, and as much as you’re vexed at him randomly opening kitchen closets and bantering at how you descended from a noble soldier to a lowly rodent, you really can’t shoo him away. Not when your head is swirling. After a moment, he walked towards you. "Here. Have a tea first before we talk about you quitting the Scouts according to Erwin's will. He didn’t plan to deprive you of your job. He just indicated that you retransfer to the Military Police." He handed you a cup that smelt like chamomile.

"I'm not quitting.” You scowled in anger. “Who the hell does he think he is, making me abide by orders without any ounce of rationality? He’s a corpse now. Cut me off some slack.”

“Is that what you said to the soldier who came to you that day as well?” He stayed unperturbed. He rather walked around and sounded like grabbing up things randomly. It wasn’t long until you realized he was really about to clean your damn house.

“I told you to stop bothering yourself on this.” You grimaced. “I’m not in the headspace to register the things you’re about to say right now. I’ll just drop by the ba–” You paused as he walked past you to get a broom in the corner of the kitchen. “Levi!” You exclaimed.

“What?” He turned to you. “Is this what you’ll become after his death? And when you kept on retorting to my banters about you being a mere doll. Is that actually true? Are you as good as dead now that your owner died?”

“Get out of my house.” You glared at him.

“Then what? The only one who could take your stubbornness very well is buried inside a fucking basement. If you keep on being a mess right now then I might as well knock you unconscious and have soldiers bring you to the barracks by force.” Before you could shoot back angrily at that, however, he quickly cut you off. “Keep your words until I clean this crap up, or if you want this dispute to be solved faster then help me do so.”

You looked out the window and realized it was beyond dusk already. You sighed in defeat and let Levi do whatever he thought to do. Your head was also ringing worse than earlier and if you don’t nap it away you’d certainly explode and lose your cool again just like how you did back at the hospital.

When you woke up, Levi’s already sat in front of you with a grim expression. “You’re groaning while sleeping.” He quickly clarified even before you could ask why he didn’t wake you up.

“Sorry.” You muttered. Fortunately, the headache subsided quite a bit. “You might be right. I might’ve banged my head hard that day. It’s been a mess since.”

“Hange intended to schedule a debriefing with you after you recover but you never showed up since then. I never thought it’d be this bad.”

“Congrats on your discovery, little Captain. Now please give this lowly rodent a privilege to hear what you actually came here for.” You tiredly replied.

“I used to look at my banters as nothing but silly gestures to get under people’s nerves but it looks like some of it turned out right.” He started. “How dismaying. You really ended up being Erwin’s lowly marionette that's no use left because he’s dead. ”

You shot him a surly look, “Is this what you came here for?”

“Explain all the stuff inside the bedroom right now.” He lowly retorted and you felt your limbs freeze.

“What the fuck? You went all the way to my bedroom? Have you got no decency left in you?” Still, Levi stayed unmoved. His face just got angrier, even. You gently brushed a hand on your head to calm yourself down. “This talk is over. Leave now.”

“So everything will end like this? Even after witnessing countless deaths from our comrades?”

“Levi, I told you to leave–”

“Is Erwin that different from everyone? Was he the only reason why you kept on being a Scout? How about the countless soldiers who died before him that never led you to plot something like this?”

“Are you seriously asking me this now?”

“I am. At least I’ll have you blurt out your shallowness before the rest of us attend your funeral. That way the kids won’t have to grieve at you losing your life because one of them actually got to live instead of him; or have Hange burdened with further regret at attempting something in respect to that bastard’s nonsense but final wishes,” He gritted his teeth and clenched his hand. “–or me crippling down because of my own decision.”

Finally, the anger in your face subsided and was replaced with pain; the very same expression Levi was having in front of you. You understood that well, at least you’re being reminded that you should, but you’re utterly exhausted and you never planned to become like this. You never thought you’d be as good as dead after his demise because you have seriously prepared yourself for it— for countless times, for every moment you stopped your urges to give in, for the days you feigned ignorance at how he looked at you, or how he smiled whenever you agree to go with him during weekends, or how he frankly gave in by cupping your face and kissing your head— because all of it just gave you endless tremors on your limbs. The tormenting desire to admit out loud that for all the moments your eyes met and your skins came in contact, nothing was in your mind but the yearning to have it for yourself rather than a luxury. That you vehemently hoped for your affection to be something that’d keep both of you in solace instead of anguish. That you seriously regretted not consoling him in any way, not even a tight squeeze on his hand, because it was never his fault that you stayed beside him and it doesn’t have to hurt him more than the torture itself.

And now that you’ve got aware of a way to have him outlive just this moment just so he could see what he dedicated his whole life for, you ultimately can’t let that slip away even at the expense of your existence and the fact that you won’t see him again nonetheless. You were willing to brush off the desire to ever witness, even from afar, the look on his face as he finally proved his father right. To be able to grant him a world where he gets that is something you’d do over and over again. Perhaps at that moment, you’d finally be at ease. It might even be possible to have your brother grant his silly wishes as well without falling to death. You’re certain those were more important than you and you’ll continue looking at it that way.

You smiled at Levi apologetically. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry everyone like that.”

“I’m not asking for apologies. Answer me.”

“I don’t know what came to me. I’m sorry.” You lied and both of you got silent.

After a while, he stood up. “You don’t need to pay me back for cleaning your mess. I just need you to come to the barracks with me.” You turned to him and the subtle yet heavy guilt on his face was the last needed push to finally let the emotions out. “That’s the least I could do for making that decision.”

“I will never blame you for that. No one should dare so, not even you.” You bit your lip to avoid letting out a sob. He didn’t answer, he just entered your room again and disposed of everything he pertained to earlier.

After a while, he gave you your coat. “Then you should do the same. If he wants you to suffer until your last breath then do it, just like any other orders you’ve followed for him.”

previous chapter | next chapter

bonus: what verra saw below the parallel she stood in

[oogaboogaspookyman]

I also admittedly have a dumb little self,, uh forget the word, serving? Idk. but lmao its a silly little not Canon side fic idea I'll eventually write up where I basically go "but it was all a dream~!" except I don't I say actually what if this was a movie and they were all actors because lmao the idea of it being like a movie set and them sitting together in their actors chairs answering questions in silly little interviews idk sparks joy eases the Horrors of the actuality.

Mainly again this stems from my weird fascination with ??? and Mays interactions and relationship because lmao when torturing a girl for years like "what are we" because what is going on does he hate her does he become familiar to her view her with familiarity and as an acquitence does he see her as a potential ally even only temporary to use in whatever plan he has, a potential rival maybe? Is he trying to make a challenge for himself someone who could beat him someone for him to beat or is she just nothing to him but a pawn a stepping stone a toy. Who knows because he's never gonna fucking tell us is he.

So it's fun imagining them in this neutral environment without as much Canon baggage, I have the silly thoughts of them answering questions and he's like "oh yes working on set was amazing, well save for the physical abuse." and May just groaning into the abyss burying her forehead and face into his shoulder and lightly whacking his chest going "nuuh I said I was sorrryyyyy" and he just laughs because lmao he said it on purpose for that reaction and is like "okay I guess I should clarify, I told her for a scene to punch me as hard as she could to make it look realistic. And she did. And it fucking hurt" and starts laughing and she's just dying at the reminder like I'm sorryyyy you said I didn't meant tooooo. Just him bullying her a bit poking fun but like nah I said hit me and you did, I thought you'd hit like a kitten or something. And just lmao general actors on set vibes kinda dorks doing interview things talking about scenes backstage stuff bloopers ect, it's fun for me XD but it's incredibly Canon divergent but sparks joy

?????: Yeah i actually had tons of fun saying all of that and i don't even have many lines, like- deadass i was all like- "MOTHERLESS 🫵🫵🫵" and all, it was awesome.

May: you were a fucking bully you know that? Holy shit, you're MERCILESS.

?????: HEY IT WAS IN THE SCRIPT wheeeeeeeze-

[lostacelonnie]

Noelle is just gay as hell for lumine its a fact. You are correct both her hangouts are just them on dates. I always forget people use aether too & then see like. Hangout scenes with him or ayaka's forest scene with him in the inazuma story & go who tf is that oh yeah people pick aether & miss the gay shit. Abyss queen lumine supremacy real i know her jp voice doing abyss lumine is real good. I only know something about faruzan being in a cave for a long time. No context just that. They should give us a fish hangout i want my favorite weirdo to have one. Her & mona have been having real good interactions when they show up together. I read that comic in real time & it was a special kind of hell. I am also a dr fan but talk about it less. Ooooh nice! Ruin serpent isnt the worst honestly but it is slightly annoying. Cryo hypo was my beloathed now its rifthound boss. Had to fight it so much for yun jin & im still not done. Ahh thats entirely fair. I will look forward to your updates! Oh wait do you mean uh. Average avery on here when you mention avery? I dont think i saw a trailerbfor genshin but i did see ganyu & keqing & went alright ill play. & they keep adding hot women so here i am. Rpg style grinding is hard to focus on for me when i could simply not but i do it for my faves. Oh. Also glad to see you are a fellow rangers apprentice enjoyer

HI IM OFFICIALLY BACK FROM THE NORWAY TRIP SO UH. no more waiting 18395092895 years for a response. sorry about that. anyway rigghhhtttt??? its so funny that mhy by making the "canon" traveler male and trying to make his playthrough fanservicey to please That part of the fanbase they also made lumine playthroughs just. lesbian impact. THE AYAKA QUEST IS SUCH A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS YEAH. and SO true, gaslight gatekeep girlboss and yeah the jp va's are generally really good. yeah me too tbh??? and that she always calls herself "madam faruzan" and insists shes everyones superior??? no idea what thats about but she seems interesting. YES itd be so fun i can already tell. fish hangout when. SO TRUE i LIVE for the monafischl friendship. the way mona just. accepted that shes gonna get a Lot of weird nicknames. yeahhhh i uh. heard a lot about it. never had the motivation to venture in myself asjdkkgkjjskf. danganronpa rewrote my mind permanently tho. dark times. but i got a lot of friends from that fandom and even keep in touch with some of them. yeah ruin serpent is just kinda annoying, but i have personal beef with cryo hypostasis. the message ab the area round the ch being extremely cold is kind of a meme to me. OUUGH NOT THE RIFTHOUND...... RIP......... hate that one. tho i fortunately didnt have to grind it. and coming back to the trip, it was great! fed some reindeer. ate some reindeer. their meat is SO good btw. saw the northern lights. drove a dog sled. life is good. and yes i do mean average avery!!!!! shes my best friend 4 life. and fairrrrr tho for me it was uh. that one eula ad from a long time ago that got me into genshin? and now i main her so. lmao. i started grinding because of my everlasting love for bianka but now i have no life. rangers apprentice was my LIFE when i was younger omg. pretty sure it was one of my first ever special interests and GOD was it long. still love these books tho i havent read them in a While.

[ninjasmudge]

Random idea that I thought you might appreciate. The showrunners really leaned into the horror aspects of Macaque's powers in S3Ep4, and I can't help but think about how much nightmare fuel he would be with a more unhinged personality. Like say, transplant the personality of Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street into Mac and he would be truly terrifying, maybe even more than LBD. LBD at least operates on some sort of logic, but Mac would be motivated only by his own twisted sense of humor.

I LOVE THIS QUESTION OK IM ABOUT TO RAMBLE BUT I THINK ITS LEGIBLE AT LEAST

ok so part of the reason i love canon macaque is that hes literally Just Some Guy. his motives start and end at selfish 'ive been hurt, time to make other hurt' and thats it. like. everyone knew the story of DBK, and once DBK gained power again his plan was 'take over the city and rule'. same for spider queen, who wants to rule the city and LBD who wants to (control?) change the world but macaque doesnt want any of that, he has no higher purpose hes literally Just Some Random Guy that even MK doesnt know. so like him going off the rails? COMPLETELY unpredictable, noone would know what hes doing next, least of all him! its gonna come across much more joker-esque than evil warlord or controlling monarch (disclaimer- i havent seen with any media with the joker in since heath ledger and under red hood djdjdkddjd so its not a specific version joker im talking about) im gonna talk about the actual powers and then the horror part below a cut so it doesnt get too long

and, like you mentioned, his powers were done SO well in s3, the amount of times he dips in and out of the shadows, steps backwards into them, completely used to how they work, and how he changes the atmosphere when he turns up? MY GOD some of my actual favourite use of powers like that ive ever seen in media. hes COMPLETELY my aesthetic, and i LOVED how they used his powers in ep4, bathing everything in magenta and stark black, and the voice acting when he sings out 'its just you and me now~' WAS SO FUCKING COOL IM STILL REELING. NOW IMAGINE THAT SITUATION IF HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO HURT MK rather than just scare him. THATS TERRIFYING cause his powers are so so good for chaos, hes got bandages that can grab people, he can teleport, step in and and out of shadows, make whole buildings/vehicles out of clones, and while theyre in there he can just? drag them into the abyss?? and this is all stuff he did when he wasnt really hurting them that much, i dread to think what else he'd be able to do if he was out for blood.

and he already uses the scare factor quite a bit but like, the ability to separate people like that is really really good for horror. and hed think it was SO funny to do it. AND THE CONSTANT TALKING? hed watch some run through a shadow maze and just laugh at them and tell them all the ways they could die. i dont even think youd have to change his personality that much, just make him a bit more violent. (although im aware weve only seen him in the show at his very worst (around swk, the person who killed him, in s1&2, and then desperate and trying to escape an abusive situation in s3. this doesnt absolve him of anything but weve definitely only seen him at his worst times))

can you imagine? being stuck in the dark? void in all directions and the remains of the room you were in just cutting off in artificial darkness? you dont know where you are, you dont know where HE is, theres one light and youre staying under it in some illusion of safety because you KNOW he thrives in the shadows and maybe, just maybe if you stay in the light youll stand a chance. youre trying to stay quiet despite knowing he already knows where you are, trying to control your breathing and listen for him. is he circling out there just beyond where the light touches, waiting? can you bring yourself to step into the shadows or are you going to stay under the light until it- flickers. and flickers again. and then goes out. because it was an illusion of safety to begin with, and this was just a game for him, and he thinks is funny when he kills you. :D i love horror

[probably-haven]

Kaeya Alberich & Why his Failure is Inevitable

A theory on Kaeya’s reaction to- that event in his backstory.

take everything with a grain of salt , because it’s heavily based on assumptions, most of which are centered around his reaction to- backstory stuff, so gonna put that under the cut-. i actually originally said this in a reblog to someone asking the exact question awhile ago

im kinda in a content drought though so i might as well bring it back, hopefully some people find it interesting in this context though. Lol a lot of it is just seeing how angsty i can make it too so- ehe

actual content under the cut: (spoilers for kaeya’s backstory, diluc’s backstory, Khaenri’ah lore, and a bit of Childe’s backstory)

so the exact verbiage used in kaeya’s story for his reaction to Master Crepus’s death is: “Even someone like Master Crepus would submit to such a dangerous and evil power…” Sinister thoughts flashed through Kaeya’s mind, and he simply smirked— “This world is truly… fascinating.”

-

Now I’m actually pretty sure this quote ties in, not to the destruction of khaenri’ah, but to the cataclysm before it. Specifically, it deals with the Khaenri’ahn alchemist Gold who started it.

Canonically, Gold was an incredibly ambitious alchemist specializing in khemia 500 years ago. Their most well know achievement is corruption of the dragon Durin, but concealed much deeper in Teyvat’s history, a number of Gold’s legacies include incorporating the powers of the abyss into their alchemy(and eventually being corrupted by those very same powers, tho it might be a translation error), followed by the destruction of Khaenri’ah’s Eclipse Dynasty(including the royal family and the royal guards tasked with protecting the people of Khaenri’ah), and this was followed shortly by ‘using their talents to create an army of “shadowy monsters."’

these monsters, blood filled with the corruption of the abyss, would only continue pouring out of Khaenri’ah in waves until the fateful day that it was destroyed. The era of suffering these monsters caused would come to be known as the cataclysm.

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taking those facts into account, it could be a remark about how even someone as kind hearted as Master Crepus could fall to the temptation and corrupting aspects of power that caused his people’s fall so long ago, even without the naturally corruptive effects of power from the abyss. that’s sad- but if you get into the theory of it its even sadder the further you go.

Now theory wise its important to make a few connections- I am under the impression that the “fall of the Eclipse Dynasty” that Gold caused through abyssal power was actually the first instance of Khaenri’ah’s curse, and the monsters of the cataclysm- were among the curse’s first victims.

a bit sadder with the fact that his statement can now refer to his feelings of there truly being nothing that could have been done to prevent the very same exact curse that has caused him so much suffering through his life. There was no resisting the corruption of power, only delaying it. It hammers in the fact that the reason he was sent to Mondstadt truly might be the destiny he had many times been told it was. A cruel joke from Celestia perhaps?

but not sad enough. let’s pull out the big one. The Khaenri’ahn Royalty Kaeya theory. (there’s a lot- im not gonna cover the explanation behind that one here)

Gold, the most powerful alchemist in Khaenri’ah would likely have worked under the Eclipse Dynasty, so assuming the theory of Kaeya(and Dainsleif) being the last member of the Eclipse Dynasty, its reasonable to say he would have known Gold. Now whether Gold was a good person or not is irrelivant because it remains the same either way. Kaeya has twice seen the corrupting abilities that come with power strip him of all those close to him, shouldering him with an additional responsibility to carry out in their memory that he never wanted. Yes this hurts more if he was close with Gold and Crepus managed to make him feel safe enough to get close to people even after that- but I’m here to provide the facts and theories, not the emotions, though theres a lot

but…. its a stretch(like a big stretch)… but for the sake of going all out on a limb, we can take this one step further.

In Childe’s story it references the abyss by saying “this dark realm had sensed the burning ambition in this boy’s heart” and it can be assumed that the powers granted by the abyss, as the natural opposition to Celestia(natural as in abyss magic literally opposes the magic of Celestia by nature) might just opporate in a similar way to the gnosises. Kaeya has no knowledge of gnosises though so for now lets use the word visions.

The powers of the abyss that were given to Gold would likely have been favored over visions from the gods in a godless nation like khaenri’ah afterall. and if he knew Gold, a known genius, he likely wouldnt have noticed anything off until it was too late. A sudden fall from his perspective. Visions, delusions, power from the abyss, what difference truly is there to a child raised to shun the gods. All are granted through ambition, and all will only end in suffering

afterthought:

However the main thing behind the Khaenri’ahn Royalty aspect of this angst fest- Kaeya would have been extremely young during Gold’s corruption and Khaenri’ah’s fall… like i cant help think of that one tik tok audio “that must be so confusing for a little girl” but it really does fit because now i can’t shake the imagery of Kaeya, faced with the imagery of the man who raised him dead as a result of a power he chose to use. And he finally understands what he was too young to understand back then. the world is not fascinating in a way that he is interested in it or wants to know more about it, but more interesting in the way that people’s eyes are involuntarily drawn to images of tragedy. It’s an expression of cruel irony, of truths he was forced to face, of knowledge he doesn’t want to know, but that he needs to know- if he plans on carrying through with his destiny- siding against Mondstadt. but siding with Mondstadt would cause him to turn against Khaenri’ah as Gold had all those years ago, and is that not fulfilling a cycle of fate all the same?

It’s an expression of mourning. He is chained by the legacy of Khaenri’ah and there’s nothing he can do to escape it. Either way the cycle will repeat. This fate gives him a unique power and even he will eventually succumb to it, doomed to be viewed as a corrupted betrayer no matter who he sides with, to doom yet another civilization in return. Such is his preordained role as the last hope of Khaenri’ah. The unescapableness, the way it all becomes so sure and clear and nauseatingly relevant in that very moment are what drive him to say that as he finally realizes that he cannot win.

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of course a lot of this is a stretch and just theories, but the angst potential was there so i decided to run with it lmao

additional afterthought: this isn’t something kaeya would know, but the corruption of Durin by Gold was actually predicted by a priestess in dragonspine before Celestia destroyed it and made it like it is now.

just angsty because it reinforces the idea of a repeating cycle of foretold destiny that no matter hard hard Kaeya tries, he will never be able to escape. Really puts Mona’s “He believes he has made a clean break with his past, but one day fate will catch up with him” line into perspective.