#idk if this is hurt/comfort LMAO

[ivestas]

Can I request some gus fluff or atleast hurt/comfort?? if you could, maybe do a part 2 to this?

the broken hornet nest

Part one: LINK 

Summary: You’re told to drive Fring back to his house. 

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: spoilers for BCS s6 (entirety), very mild canon divergence, yet another mental breakdown(?) 

Note: anon, I propose to you something even better; a hurt/comfort part 2 of that fic??? jhehehehhehe i think thats a good idea 

It was evening time.

“You think they killed him..?” Victor muttered to Tyrus, whose face remained contemplative—then again, he always looked contemplative and calm. “There’s no way they’d believe Hector? Right?” 

Tyrus exhaled, almost bored. “Who knows?” He shook his head. “Probably not, though. Hector doesn’t have anything. Lalo’s buried, and so are the cameras and shit.”

“Mm.” Victor seemed unsatisfied with the answer. He opened his mouth but clamped it the moment a car appeared from a distance. 

Its lights blinked, and it only took you a second longer to realize that wasn’t just any car, but Gustavo’s. 

Suddenly, the silent buzzing of your brain erupted in noise. 

But, you were conscious of how your body presented itself; masking a face of calm, you waited as the car drew forth into the lot of the chicken house.  The same one that his lackeys and he had forced you and Nacho into submission, to join. 

“You took what I wanted, and now, your lives are mine and mine alone.” The venom in Gustavo’s voice was unfamiliar but commanding, and it stuck fear into you—not for death, no. 

But him. 

He had stared at you for a moment too long, and when you looked into his eyes, an abyss of dark and fire reflected back. There was no kindred brush of humanity—this was not a man, but a being bundled together by blood-laden promises. 

Someone called your name.

Your head snapped up, and it was Mike who stood there. 

Mike was looking at you strangely, but his voice betrayed nothing; “Mr. Fring needs you to drive him home. He drank.” 

You saw that the car was neatly parked, and in the passenger seat, you could make out the vague silhouette of Gustavo. 

“Victor’s gonna drive your car back home,” he said. 

Ah. That’s why he and Tyrus were in your car..?

Why’d you not notice that sooner? 

“Just go, kid. He’s waiting.” 

You nod. 

Briskly, you walk past him and pause for only a second to see Victor drive your car off before slipping into the driver’s seat of Gustavo’s car. 

There was a hesitance that dictated your movements, making them a little jerkier than what you wanted, a little obvious. 

When you sat, you acknowledged Gustavo with a nod, quick to secure the seatbelt. “Hello, sir.”

He looked at you. “Hello.” 

And, like a nervous schoolgirl, you averted your gaze and set your hands on the steering wheel. 

You were hyperaware of every move, and you hated it, fuck—your breathing felt too loud, your face too fucking warm, and your heart?—God, he could hear it, couldn’t he?—

A deep chuckle paused your swirl of thoughts. 

“I don’t bite, you know,” Gustavo said. “No need to be so nervous.” 

You breathe, your knuckles whitening as you clutched the steering wheel and carefully turned it. “I’m sorry.” Guilt pressed against the back of your neck like the blade of a guillotine.

“Don’t be. I understand.” Warmth lined his words. 

“I’m forced to work with the man that killed him, just the way you are.”

Your foot pressed a little harder on the gas than you intended, shooting the car into the road. 

God, having him this close was madness—memories of Nacho, and then of Gustavo, they all slam against each other, hurling you farther and farther down an unclimbable pit. 

Self-hatred was what it has evolved to; you did well at pretending everything was normal and well back at home. Back where his presence didn’t burn you. Back where you could shove away memories of that night—

“I’m glad, because I feel the same.”

You nearly choked on the air. 

A part of you begged to turn away and hole out those sinful thoughts, each slathered in feelings of betrayal—Gustavo, Gustavo, Gustavo—

Nacho, forgive me.

Please, forgive me? Please? 

But that was merciful. Forgiveness, for you? You’re too far gone. Atonement came in blood, but you didn’t have the fucking heart.

“Something’s tearing you apart, isn’t it?” 

Again, your brain froze at the sound of his voice, pushing everything to a halt. 

But guilt lingered. 

“I…” Should you be honest? Or lie? Was there a ‘right’ to this? What do you even do?

“Just talk.” His words were gentle. “Say anything.” 

Your breath shakily. “Could we, maybe, park the car somewhere? I can’t—I might—”

“Yes. Just pull over here.” 

‘Here’ being the open desert field with nothing in sight. 

You didn’t care though. You were more than eager to pull over to buy time—time for what, you weren’t sure at all. 

But when you stumbled out of the car, you shut the door and lean against it for a second. Your body was actively working against you, sucking out all energy you possessed and leaving you heaving with unbreakable thoughts—and those thoughts compounding to hit your skull. It almost made you feverish, and the answer to why was there—

—just as that answer is the same antidote to your slow, proverbial destruction. 

The crunch of gravel makes your head turn, and you saw that Gustavo was approaching your side of the car. 

He, however, didn’t say anything, nor seemed irritated at your state; he quietly slid by your side, standing still and staring at the shadowed landscape. 

He only said one word: “Talk.” 

You hated how easy it was to follow that command—and you loathed the underlying flutter of comfort that shot through you, a warmth that washed the guilt away like water over a wound. 

“I… you said that you still worked with the same people that killed your brother.” 

He turned his head to you and nodded. 

It was hard to hold his gaze, but you did so. 

“Then, do you feel guilty? Because you’re working with them?” 

“No,” he smiled. “Because I plan to toss them away like stones.” 

“Oh.” 

You stare at the ground. When you spoke, your voice was small—almost pathetic. “I don’t think I’ll be able to function much longer. I—fuck, it’s hard to put into words, but…”

The words were scary, but you said them anyway. “But I feel as though he’ll never forgive me. As if, the longer I, uh, humor what’s between us, he’ll hate me more and more.”

The words became harder, and for a moment, you couldn’t help but freeze. Speaking so openly—it felt wrong. Especially to Gustavo Fring, of all people. 

But, strangely, it felt right at the same time. As if he were the only person in the world who could properly understand—or, perhaps, the only person you could…

Trust? 

“Sir?” 

“Just call me Gustavo—” 

“Could you tell me something? Please?” 

Now you looked at him, and what you saw was a dilemma. 

Betrayal, or atonement.

“If I trusted you, what would you do?” You fully turned to him. You decide. “If I gave you my complete and undying faith, what would happen?” Would I come to regret it? Or regret not doing so sooner? 

Gustavo regarded you with a strange expression, one you couldn’t decipher at all. 

But you just stood there, watching his face, watching emotion flash like a film reel—each emotion as unreadable as the next. 

And then, he extended an open hand, palm upward. 

“I would cherish that trust,” he said quietly. “As though it were my own soul.” 

In his eyes, at that moment, you knew what he said was no lie. It was truth, illuminated in the moon’s gentle light that cradled Gustavo’s face. 

You set your hand on his. Then, with your other hand, you hesitantly set it on the back of his. You glance at him. 

He smiled warmly, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“You’re mine,” you whispered. 

His smile grew. “I always was.” 

[snekdood]

There are genuinely people online that instead of actually bringing people to the left, at this point, would prefer that anyone who was previously not on the left but who tries to be *stays* outside of the left, because i guess its just easier to comprehend when the world is put into little shitty boxes you labeled for them instead of actually thinking for once and having the nuance to understand them. Like thats wild to me that theres people who would prefer you not be on the left or not try to be. Yall GENUINELY do not care about advocating for your side politically in any capacity. Its LITERALLY just a clique you've found yourself in. And theres nothing progressive about that or being exclusive, wtf do you think this shit is, a night club? Grow the fuck up, honestly.

[medicbrainrot]

i don’t wanna be here when you lose control

An awkward silence had taken over the room Task Force 141 was occupying when Ghost and Jaguar (Simon and Artemis) had gotten into a heated argument during a briefing meeting for an upcoming mission.

Ghost gritted his teeth. “Why do you always go on these off-topic tangents?! This is important!” His icy cold stare went right through Jaguar, putting a bit of a chill in the air.

“I’m sorry, but sometimes I get off track!” She says defensively.

“That is not good enough! This is important!!” He stalks closer to her, still gritting his teeth. His eyes look as angry as ever through the mask.

“We are not continuing until you realize that what you are doing is disruptive and wasting time!” His tone is cold, and his stare is even colder.

As his anger builds, his tone becomes even more harsh, to the point where he is almost yelling at Jaguar.

“Sit. Still! This is important! Now, can we please keep focus here!?” He grits out loudly.

“I CAN’T HELP IT! I HAVE ADHD!” Jaguar shouts.

Ghost growls and steps closer, putting his face right in front of hers.

“I said SIT STILL. This is IMPORTANT.” He said furiously.

His words shut her up immediately, and Jaguar didn’t move a muscle or say a single word throughout the rest of the meeting.

When the meeting was over, Ghost turned to Jaguar one more time. 

“I trust you understand the gravity of this now.” He said coldly, before walking away without another word. He’s absolutely livid, but he needs to calm down.

The next few days, the base feels awfully quiet as the team prepares for the mission.

Ghost himself is as silent as ever, hardly speaking to anyone, and keeping mostly to himself. It seems like he’s mostly gotten over the argument with Artemis, but he’s still a little pissed off about it.

No one really knows what’s going through his mind, but they’re all keeping an eye on him in case he snaps.

Artemis, in a similar vein, has been more withdrawn than usual, and barely gives more than one or two word responses when spoken to.

Simon picked up on Artemis’ behavior, and realized that perhaps she’s feeling the same way he is: guilty.

He knows he shouldn’t have snapped at her the way he did, but he couldn’t help it.

After a brief moment of pondering, he decides to go find her and try to make it up to her. He gathers a few of her favorite snacks into a little bag, and heads to her room, hesitating before knocking on the door. “Artemis?” 

After a few more knocks, Soap pokes his head out from his own room next door. “Jaguar’s not here, LT.” He says.

Ghost sighs internally. “Where is she?” He asks gruffly, even though internally he’s feeling guilty. His body language still reads frustration, but he manages to calm himself down so he doesn’t snap at Soap.

“Last I heard, she was headed to the firing range.” He supplies helpfully.

“The firing range?” Ghost asks.

Soap nods in response.

“Okay.” Ghost nods, hanging the little bag of snacks on Jaguar’s door handle before turning to leave for the range.

As he approaches the firing range, he can hear shot after shot being fired, in an even, precise rhythm. He slips on a pair of hearing protection headphones, and enters the range to find Artemis there, firing at target after target in pure anger and frustration.

She’s got her own hearing protection on, and it seems like she’s settled into a rhythm of firing round after round into the targets, quickly changing the mag, then continuing to fire.

Ghost approaches Jaguar carefully, getting closer with each step. He finally speaks when he's close enough she’ll be able to hear him over her protective equipment.

“Artemis?” He says, trying to keep a sense of calm in his voice, despite what happened the other day. “I came to apologize.”

“It’s alright Lieutenant.” She says stiffly, without turning around.

His tones soften a bit, not having expected forgiveness so easily. “Are you sure?” He pauses and lowers his voice a bit. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that…We disagree sometimes, but you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine.” she says, equally as stiff as the first response.

Ghost stands in silence for a moment, before taking a deep breath. He’s not sure what else he could say to make things right between them, but he knows he has to do something.

“Are you absolutely sure it’s alright?”

She fires the rifle again. “It’s fine.” She says again. She has yet to turn around, and her voice remains awfully stiff.

Simon begins to worry that it’s not all fine. “I don’t like you sounding so stiff.” He says, notes of concern filling his voice.

He takes a step closer to her, his tone trying to remain soft and gentle. “Artemis…”

This time, she sets the rifle down and finally turns to look at him, slipping off her hearing protection. Her eyes are red and puffy, and now that she’s not holding the rifle, he can see that her hands are shaking. “I said it’s fine Lieutenant.”

An awful sinking feeling settled in Simon’s stomach, almost like he was sick. He knew immediately that he had to do something in order to fix this. All he wants is to comfort her, but he has to know where to start. He slipped off his hearing protection before speaking.

“No, it’s not. What’s wrong Artemis?”

“If you’ve come to yell at me to sit still again, don’t worry. I’ve been working on it the past few days.” She says, gesturing to the destroyed targets downrange. 

Simon looks at the targets, concerned by the mess, horrified by the realization that he was the cause. He takes a deep breath before speaking. “Artemis, I haven’t come to yell. I’m so, so sorry for snapping at you the other day.” 

He pauses for a moment, trying to put himself in her shows. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know…I might go on another tangent…” She says flatly.

His tone softens some more, he can tell that she’s very bitter. “Artemis, you can tell me anything you want. What’s on your mind?” He asks, trying to show that he is being genuine, and won’t criticize her for going on another ‘tangent’. 

“What’s on my mind? What’s on my mind!?” She exclaims, as she presses her hands tightly into her eyes. “What’s on my mind is I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks how to tell my boyfriend I have ADHD, only for it to slip out in an argument and then have him use it against me. That’s what’s on my mind, Simon.”

‘Oh god.’ Simon thinks to himself. ‘That’s what’s been keeping her up at night?’ Simon hasn’t felt this awful in a long, long time. He’s horrified that he’s done this to her. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine.” She mumbles, her hands still pressed tightly into her eyes.

“Artemis…” He takes a few tentative steps closer, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her to face him more.

“I didn’t mean to attack you like I did. I was wrong to do so, and I was wrong to not consider the consequences. I’m so, so sorry for my actions.”

“You’re not the first one.” She mumbles, lowering her hands from her eyes. “I’m surprised you haven’t broken up with me yet.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, his eyebrows raising under his mask. “Did I make you feel like breaking up is the only option?” He’s shocked at the possibility, a look of worry on his face. “Artemis, breaking up with you never even crossed my mind. Are you serious?”

“My last boyfriend broke up with me a few days after I told him, said I was too much to handle.” She says, a few tears escaping her eyes.

Artemis’ words cause Simon to feel another wave of guilt wash over him. He had no idea this wasn’t the first time she was treated this way, and it made him feel so much worse, knowing that he was one of the people who caused her pain. “He was wrong…” Simon starts gently. “He was wrong. You’re not ‘too much to handle’, Artemis.” He pauses. “You’re perfect just the way you are, I promise.”

“That’s not what you said when you yelled at me…” She says with a flat affect.

A look of guilt passes through Simon’s eyes, and he drops his head as he tries to come up with a response. “You’re right. I didn’t say that. I essentially said the opposite, something  cruel, that I shouldn’t have said. But, Artemis…” He pauses, his tone getting soft again. “What I said was wrong. You deserve to be treated better than that… I’m sorry.”

Artemis shrugs. “It’s my fault for fidgeting during a meeting.”

“No Artemis, it isn’t.” Simon sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “You have ADHD. It’s something you can’t control. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, and you shouldn’t have to be shamed simply because you don’t act how others might want you to.”

“I wish that conversation had gone differently.” She sniffles, as a fresh wave of tears fills her eyes.

“I do too, Artemis.” Simon steps forward and hugs her tightly, trying to comfort her. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?” He asks gently.

“I don’t know. My brain is so fucking scrambled.” She sniffles.

“Scrambled?” He asks gently. “Why? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel overwhelmed?”

“I don’t know what I feel right now. There’s too much going on in my brain.” Artemis says.

“It’s okay, It’s okay to not know, love.” Simon says softly.

“It’s not okay! I keep fucking up because I can’t get my fucking brain under control!” She yells, exasperated.

Simon flinches slightly when she yells. “What do you mean by that…?” He asks cautiously. “How have you been messing up?”

“I talk too much, I fidget too much, I annoy everyone around me because I’m too much. I have seventeen trains of thought going in my head at all times and I don’t know where any of them are fucking going!” She shouts.

It takes effort from Simon not to jump when she shouts again. He takes a deep breath before speaking, trying to calm his nerves, so that he doesn’t say something that might hurt Artemis further. “Artemis…If I might speak bluntly. It doesn’t sound like you’re the problem here. It sounds to me that your previous exes were too harsh to you…” He says gently.

“It’s not just my exes. My friends, my teachers, my parents. I feel like I’m gonna go crazy if I have to be still and quiet but there’s nothing I can fucking do about it!!” She tries to take a breath. “It’s always, sit still, stop talking, stop fidgeting, stop bouncing, stop shouting, you’re being too loud, you’re being disruptive. Everything about my existence is annoying and yet I can’t seem to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”

Simon’s eyes go wide at the outburst, but he manages to keep calm and keep holding Artemis tightly. “Artemis…” His tone remains gentle, and he realizes what he needs to say. His own trauma is screaming at him to not go near this, but he knows that right now that’s not the answer. He takes a deep breath and starts softly. “I think I understand what happens when you get overwhelmed.”

“What.” She says in a small voice.

He can hear the pain in her voice and it makes him feel even more horrible for speaking so harshly to her.  He rubs her shoulder gently, trying to comfort her. “Your mind feels like it’s being attacked by constant thoughts, and you feel like you might explode if you don’t do something…And you feel like talking and moving helps you, even if just for a little bit.”

“Pretty much. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 22, but it made so much sense.” She says quietly.

“Artemis, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this like that. Nobody should have to feel like they’re not allowed to speak or move. You have every right to speak and move around all you want. If anyone else tells you otherwise, they’re wrong.” His voice grows even softer. “You are not too much.”

“Even when it’s you telling me to be quiet and sit still?” She asks.

“That’s on me. That’s me being inconsiderate, and it’s me being wrong. I can’t apologize enough for that. I’m sorry Artemis, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He says softly, hoping she understands.

“It’s okay.” She says sadly. “You didn’t know…”

“Artemis, I still shouldn’t have treated you like that, regardless. I’m just…I’m sorry I didn’t realize something sooner.” He says gently. “If I could go back and undo what I said, I swear I would. But I can’t. All I can do is apologize and make sure I don’t do something like that again.”

“I wanted to tell you sooner… I just….didn’t know how…I felt like there was never a right time…” She says as a tear slides down her cheek.

“It’s alright.” Simon says softly, swiping away the tear with his thumb. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m the one who reacted poorly. It’s on me to learn, not on you to do something you aren’t comfortable with.” He holds her tighter, trying to express his love with the hug.

Artemis leans into the hug, burying herself into his chest. “I’m sorry for avoiding you.” She mumbles.

“It’s alright to ask for space after an argument. It just means you want time to cool down.” He says reassuringly. “If you need more time to process, I’m alright giving you whatever you need.”

“I don’t want more time to process. I haven’t slept in two days. I just want to go to bed.” Artemis says, trying not to cry.

Simon nods, pulling slightly back from the hug. He looks down at Artemis, still feeling guilty about how he hurt her. He can now tell how tired she is, and how desperately she needs sleep. 

“Okay, I can help with that. Do you need anything before you go rest? Water, a snack, anything?”

“A snack would probably be good. I’ve been here at the range since early this morning.” She yawns. “Maybe…maybe, after I’ve slept, we can talk some more about this?”

Simon gives Artemis a warm smile. “Of course, take all the time you need, love.”

He releases her from the embrace and turns to go get her a snack while she cleans up her stuff at the range.

“Simon, wait.” She calls out.

Simon stops in his tracks, turning around to face Artemis again. “What is it, Artemis? Was there something else?” He asks softly.

She steps forward and lifts his mask to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you.” She says softly.

Simon is caught a little off guard by the kiss, but he quickly recovers. He leans into the kiss, and pulls away after a few seconds, smiling warmly at her. “I love you too, Artemis.” He pulls her into another gentle kiss, holding her close. “I love you… more than you could ever know. Never forget that.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated!

Masterlist

[heldenherzchen]

wednesday, august 9 day 3: hurt/comfort (@benthan-week-forever)

Late at night, Benji sat at his laptop, frustration evident on his face. He had been working tirelessly on a complex task, and it seemed like everything was going wrong.

Ethan noticed the distress in his partner's eyes and approached him with concern. The brunette gently placed a hand on Benji's shoulder, offering comfort and support. He knew that sometimes all it took was a few sweet words and gestures to ease the frustration and bring solace to a troubled heart.

"Hey, Benji," Ethan said softly, his voice filled with warmth and understanding. "I know it's been a tough night, but remember, you're brilliant at what you do. You've overcome challenges before, and I have no doubt that you'll conquer this one too."

Benji looked up at him, his eyes searching for reassurance. Ethan smiled, his touch lingering on Benji's shoulder, providing a sense of stability and love.

"You're not alone in this, Benji," he continued. "We're a team, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and remember how capable you are. You've got this."

As the older spoke, his words resonated with Benji, easing the tension that had built up within him. He felt a renewed sense of confidence and determination, knowing that he had someone like Ethan by his side.

Ethan leaned in closer, his hand now gently cupping Benji's cheek.

"You're brilliant, talented, and I believe in you," he whispered, his voice filled with love and encouragement. "Don't let this frustration define you. Take a break, clear your mind, and when you're ready, come back to it. I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the way."

Benji felt a wave of gratitude wash over him as he looked into his lover's eyes. In that moment, he knew that he was not alone. With Ethan's love and support, he felt invincible, ready to face any challenge that came his way.

Together, they closed the laptop, leaving the frustrations of the night behind. They embraced, finding solace in each other's arms. In that moment, Ethan's sweet words and comforting gestures reminded him of the strength of their love and the power it held to overcome any obstacle.

And so, with renewed determination and the unwavering support of his lover, Benji took a deep breath, ready to face the challenges ahead, knowing that Ethan would always be there to comfort and guide him along the way.

[optiwashere]

Holy hell, I've finally updated this one with a full chapter. And quite a chapter it is...

More Asheera backstory? More heart-to-heart conversations? Realizing that your love shares similar traumas, if differently expressed? And the ending of the chapter as well... I wonder who that strange, new character could be?

Oh, and comfort sex smut, my beloved.

Rating: E for Explicit and Emotional, as Always

Category: F/F

Ship: Shadowheart/Trans Fem Tav

I've updated the AO3 Summary to better reflect the fic as it is versus the one-shot it was originally supposed to be!

No matter what one does to clean the blood from their hands, the stains remain. After leaving Baldur's Gate, Sharrans seek out Shadowheart to enact vengeance for what happened in the Cloister. Assassins hound her and Asheera along the Trade Way. They must fight against the darkness side by side, the darkness within and the darkness without, and hopefully find the comfort they yearn for after all this time. Or: Shadowheart and Asheera's fraught journey from Baldur's Gate to their happily ever after.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

thin skinned (skinsuit'd staffbot reader x Sun/Moon angst, no comfort)

“Y- you don’t understand,” your voice wavered and stuttered with static, your voice box protesting so much use, “what it. Was like, for me.”

“What is there to POSSIBLY understand??” Sun’s voice came through this time, high and nearly shrill with indignation, revulsion, outrage. “What could possibly have happened to you to excuse this!”

You shut your eyes, feeling your shoulders rattle. You wanted to shout, or throw something. Was this anger? It was hot, and it hurt, and it made every part of you tense. Was this what it was to be angry? Or... was this another kind of fear? You abruptly turned around to face them properly, trying hard to look them in the eye. Your hands were in fists, you realized- both the one that was bare, your brittle, metallic skeleton grinding against itself slightly, and the one still wearing a glove. The metal of your stripped fingers cut into one another, making the joints ache.

“You-“ your voice broke, and you had to wait a spirit second before the voice would work again, “you can’t understand anything about how- how scared I was-s!”

You grabbed at the neck of the coat you were wearing, feeling suffocated by it. Your voice box warbled and strained, letting out a staticky cough.

“You didn’t have to be afraid of b-being dismantled. You were loved. A-A-And I? I was nothing.”

Unable to stand the look they were giving you any longer, you whipped around and left the room, escaping to the fire exit. You grabbed fistfuls of your hood and pulled it down over your face, feeling the fabric tear slightly. You sat heavily, leaning against the railing and listening to the rain pitter-patter against the old metal staircase. For the first time in a long time, you found yourself wishing you didn't feel anything. You hated this, this hot, scalding feeling that made your fingers curl, that made you want to- to hit them, and blame them, and shout that it was all their fault, all their fault, ALL THEIR FAULT,

You pressed the thoughts down, down, down, tried to stifle them as much as you were able. You pulled yourself up by the cold, wet railing. Your legs rattled with the movement- when did you get so... tired? You shuffled back into your apartment. You didn't look at them as you walked across the room to flip the light switch. It was dark near instantly; your eyes had to adjust. The night-light plugged in next to the workbench they were sat on glowed, warm and yellow. You turned your back to them, hesitated.

"I'm, Going. To charge for the night. I'll s-see you, in the morning."

There was a long pause, then you started your walk to the closet you had converted into a sort-of bedroom for yourself- it was where you kept your clothes, and your make-shift charging station was there, anyway. It was the last sliver of comfort you had in this place right now.

You had crossed the room and grabbed the doorknob when they spoke.

"Goodnight."

For a second you considered not answering, in letting them sit and fester in your cold, angry silence. But you were tired. You didn't want to keep this up. You felt your shoulders sag.

"G-g-good night."

"Sleep tight," said Sun's voice. It was tiny and kind of mumbly, as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud. You felt a chuckle wobble out of you.

"D-d-d-don't let th-the bed bugs-s bite."

[puppiesandnightlock]

Link: Dear Younger Me, It's Not Your Fault

Summary: Damian gets blasted into a future where he's living his best life, and not to mention married. He doesn't think he deserves any of it. Future Damian and Jon help his think otherwise.

for super sons week bonus day 2: Magic and Mayhem

“Aw, I almost forgot how cute you were as a little kid, Dami! I just wanna squish his cheeks-”

“Tt, control yourself, Jonathan, if he’s as old as I think he is, he will not hesitate to chop your arm off if you so much as breathe in his direction.”

The child’s head was swimming, the two voices muffled as if he were underwater. He had a vague memory of being set on a bed, warm blue eyes setting him down and startled green hues tucking him in with the blanket still currently wrapped around him.

Instinctively, his hand went to the knife that was usually on the side of his hip. He grimaced as he realized even his most hidden weapons had been taken. 

Mother would be so ashamed of him, if she were to learn that he had been taken in so easily, not to mention the failure of hiding weapons. 

He sat up, struggling a bit, but managing to open his eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the light.

He was in a room, the bed set in front of a fireplace. The walls were beige, accents of gold and deep green painted along the sides. It was then he took notice of the figure in front of him. He blamed his disorientated brain on missing the key factors of the room.

(“Excuses.” Grandfather would spit.)

The person (?) was draped in a color matching the forest of the walls, poking the fire and making it leap to life.

Spotting a pair of scissors left on the bedside table, he carefully picked them up, moving to get up and sneak towards the figure.

“I know you’re awake.” The voice seemed more amused than dangerous, a discreet accent in the words.

The child startled, pushing the covers off and pointing the scissors at the person. 

“Where am I? Who are you?”

He got his answer as the person stood, turning to face the child. He wore an outfit similar to a thawb, deep green with gold accents. There was a gold cuff earring on his left ear, covering it and connecting to a dangling chain in his lobe. His skin was a caramel tone, tanned and weathered through the years. His hair was a soft brown, brushed but without gel. The eyes that met his held pain and trauma behind them, but were kind. 

(Kinder than his, he thought to himself bitterly.)

“You are safe here, please refrain from stabbing me with the scissors, although I doubt it would be an easy task.”

Damian opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off. 

‘’I assume you’ve already come to the conclusion that this is the future, and please be assured that we are working to send you back to your own time. You will most likely have all memories of this visit erased from your mind, therefore I will tell you that you are in my house, and the only other person is my partner, who is in the kitchen at the moment.”

His older counterpart moved to sit on the bed, and the younger scowled. 

“I expected us to be taller.” were the first words out of his mouth.

The older one snickered, muffling his laughter with a hand to his mouth. 

“Well, so did I. It's both hard and useful, you’ll get over it in due time, I promise.”

The door was kicked open, a much taller man carrying a tray with tea and toast on it. Both looked over in surprise, the smaller Damian immediately launching the pair of scissors at him.

To his surprise and Older Damian’s amusement, it bounced off his skin, bending as it did so and landing against the wall.

The raven-haired man grinned, dropping the tray on the bedside table.

“He’s so defensive and tiny!” 

An angry flush came over his cheeks, but instead of a retort, he asked incredulously, “Kent??”

“Aww, we’re still in that stage!” Jon cooed. “He must have just met me.”

“Do not patronize me, Farmboy!” Younger Damian spat.

Jonn squealed again, making grabby hands. “Look at how absolutely adorable you were bossing me around!”

“Do try not to antagonize him, J.” The older one chided gently, eyes sparkling with fondness.

The child took immediate notice of this, picking up the relaxed postures, the way his older counterpart held such reverence for the other in a way he never thought possible for another human being.

Similarly, this future version watched the older with admiration as if he’d hung the moon and stars himself.

His arm flailed between the both, mouth opening and closing as if speaking but no words came out.

“You–we–him–us-” 

Jon laughed aloud at the crisis the younger boy was having, shaking his head. “This is what went on when you finally realized?”

Both Damians scowled, the older one blushing a deep red.

The younger one seemed ready to scream. Both men tried to hide their hands behind their back, although not quick enough. 

The child spotted the glint of the matching bands of gold the moment they moved, his eyes going wide as saucers.

“fi 'ayi ealam lan 'afeal mithl hadha alshay'?!” He began ranting in Arabic, pacing on the bed. 

“I can’t believe you!” he finally declared, pointing at his counterpart as if he were accusing him of murder. “We married KENT?” 

“Like it’s such a bad thing.” Jon put a hand to his heart, mock offended.

“Can it, Corncob! What did Father and Mother think?” He pauses in horror. “What did Grandfather think?”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Damian grabbed his hands, holding them tight as the younger one tried to wrench them away.

“He must have tried to have him killed…” 

The younger was looking anywhere but the older ones. This was horrible, he was both Robin and a feared assassin, why, why, why was he on the verge of tears at the thought of any of this?

(Deep down, he knew why. This was the forbidden life he kept inside for himself under lock and key. He was a monster, a weapon, meant to take over the League and if not the league, his father’s mantle. He was not supposed to look this happy, have this life, marry someone who was too pure for the world he was born into. Not someone who loved him, who looked at him with the knowledge of his past and still seemed to think he was capable of love.

Happiness….

That was never the plan.)

Jon watched the smaller version of his husband go through a hurricane of emotions all at once, emerald eyes shiny. He watched the internal panic and fear flit through a face too young to have such worries and felt a pang in his heart. One so strong because how many times did he watch his Damian go through that? The tears that should never have been shed, the panic and sleepless nights that should have been replaced with sweet dreams and laughter.

“It’s too nice,” The child finally rasped. “Too nice for me. How…how do I end up like you?”

He directed his question to his older counterpart, hands still trapped in his. The tears made his long eyelashes framing his eyes stick together. 

“It’s all too good…for someone like me to have.”

The older one closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

”It took me a long time, with a lot of help to banish the thoughts. Lots of help from different people. I…i can’t tell you anything that will make you believe me, because at this age, i would have been the same.”

“But I can tell you the absolute truth, and it’s that after everything we’ve gone through, and the challenges you have yet to face, we deserve everything that we’ve been given and much more.” 

“You deserved a childhood with people who loved you and did not harm you or train you to death. And this future? This is what you deserve. We earned this future. You won’t remember this visit when you go back, but a part of you will know what I say is true.”

The boy sobbed suddenly, the three curling up on the bed and finding solace in one another.

Damian looked down at the paper in his hands. His counterpart shoving it in his hands and softly smiling was the only thing he remembered from his supposed blast to the future.

Dear younger me, 

You deserve every good thing you get. None of the mess that is our life is your fault. Go on and make mistakes, give your heart a break, even if only for a moment. It will serve you well to make some friends too. Till we meet again, as your future self.

Yours, 

                        Damian W.K.

The day after sending his counterpart into the portal, Damian was flooded with new, joyful memories, and a worn piece of paper with faded ink on the corner of his vanity’s mirror. 

Absent-mindedly he wondered how long it took for the younger one to realize that the initials were a hint to his future after all.

@super-sons-week

[depressedgaywriting]

8

"This is going to hurt." the civilian said. "Like, a lot. If you need to hold onto my hand, that's fine."

"I'm not going to-" The villain hissed in pain, gripping the civilian's fingers as they cleaned the burn on their shoulder.

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

[f1shart]

circusxlowkey (somewhat rendered). drawing this i was wondering like what do the beakers call nervous?? is that some cruel nickname they gave him as a child since they’re baddies or what. i was mostly curious if they always called him nervous subject or just nervous i mean saying his full “name” all the time has to get redundant cuz thats just a mouthful man but they’re not friendly enough w him to just call him nervous.... its 4 am whag am i doing

[trashlie]

Alyssa Cho: Sexuality and Fitting In

It’s been six months since we finished the Shinlyssa Flashback arc, can you believe that? And it’s taken me all these months to finally start putting together this post lol. 

During the flashback arc, one of the hotly contested theories was: Did Alyssa have a crush on Shinae? It’s easy to think we’re reading into things, especially in a story like ILY where we can’t always, in the moment, see something for what it is, or rather what it will become. It’s easy to overthink things, and sometimes we get focused on things that are red herrings. But, in this case, I think it’s not far from the truth at all. In fact, I think the possibility of Alyssa’s sexuality is a part of why she is so desperate to fit in at all. Especially in middle school, society isn’t always kind to lgbtq folks, and there’s a couple hints that it might be something her family is against, as well. 

Now I want to make it clear from the start: I don’t think we can specifically speculate on what Alyssa’s sexuality is, firstly because there’s a good chance even she isn’t sure and secondly because sexuality is certainly a part of a spectrum and it isn’t something that necessarily stays unwavering. I will also up front state that while my suspicions are that Alyssa leans more towards lesbian, that doesn’t negate the possibility of bi/pan/something less specific. But what I DO want to speculate is how her relationship with her possible sexuality, and thus her relationship with Shinae, heavily factors into her need to conform and fit in. 

I think the beginning of the flashback arc is where we see Alyssa at her happiest, and perhaps her most honest. She has a great time in math club with Alyssa, the teacher gets her excited about the math competitions and the chance to prove herself. But it also is where everything starts to go downhill. 

It doesn’t really need reiterated, because the story has made it very clear, but Alyssa is very driven by attention and praise. But I don’t think it’s blind praise she wants, because she often refutes it from Alyssa. It’s not anything special to her that she can play instruments because anyone can do that; writing music though? That’s special. Alyssa talks about wanting to be liked and popular, but what I suspect she really want is acceptance for who she is, and she quickly learns that it won’t be found here unless she starts faking it. 

She’s an intellectual girl, advanced beyond probably most of her peers, who has no favor for kpop and much prefers the classics, is heavily invested in STEM with a favor for bio engineering. It’s made immediately apparent to her that all of her interests will make her a target. It’s not simply that she won’t fit in - it’s that she sticks out in a way that will make people think her weird and outcast her, and it’s really clear that being ostracized is something she fears. I think it’s important to emphasize that this is a fear; it’s not simply being a preteen and wanting to be liked because you don’t know how to be alone but a fear that drives her to do really rash things and lash out. This fear is compounded by her anxiety. When confronted about the missing science project, when it gets out of her hand before she has a chance to stop it, when confrontation comes to a head, Alyssa goes home, feeling sick and miserable. 

She simply could not handle the confrontation or the ramifications it yielded. 

For Alyssa, fitting in a necessity. 

Early in, Alyssa admits to Shinae that she begged her parents to let her go to public school because she wanted to make friends her own age. I imagine she must have been lonely. I don’t think she was homeschooled with other kids - just her sister, and from the sounds of it, she probably didn’t have friends in her dance lessons. I’m willing to bet they were personal, one-on-one lessons, or else maybe she would have been more focused on making friends with the kids in her class rather than dancing? As it is, dance sounds like it was a passing interest of hers that she didn’t really come to love but was stuck continuing, because the alternative was to tell her parents and that doesn’t seem something she’s capable of. But she also admits to Shinae that she has seen what happens to kids who are outcast and ostracized. She doesn’t want that; it goes against the whole reason she came to public school! Why would she endure that if she could just go back to homeschooling and her loneliness?

Another thing Alyssa notes, though, is this. 

It doesn’t seem like much, in the moment. Alyssa has already talked about how overbearing her parents are, how she expresses interest in something and they shower in it, even it was just a fleeting idea. She seems to feel overwhelmed by them and wants an escape from them, lest they take another thing that interests her and put her through it in a way that makes her lose any fancy she possessed for it. 

But it’s a mantra that comes up again, later. 

For a while during the flashback, I waffled a lot on Alyssa’s sexuality. Was it, I wondered, just a red herring, meant to make us THINK Alyssa had a crush, but it was really more about her internal conflict with her feelings about hurting Shinae and trying to do what she wants? Alyssa (much like Nol does) struggled a lot with her relationship with Shinae vs what she wanted more than anything. She tried to make it worked - tried to find a way to be both Shinae’s friend AND to be popular and well-liked, and when it miserably back-fired on her, she made a choice. 

It was here, though, that I began believe that yes, Alyssa probably did have a crush on Shinae, that Alyssa may, in fact, like girls. 

Alyssa has a secret so deep that she doesn’t want anyone to know, not even Shinae. (Also, note the way she says she didn’t want anyone to find out, not even you, as if maybe, Shinae could have been separate person, who maybe she could tell her OTHER secrets to, if they ever got so far.) She especially doesn’t want the teachers involved, because that will get her parents involved - and they won’t be happy, because they’ll ask things and they won’t like what she has to say. That is, the truth was something that would upset them. 

It’s really important, too, to reiterate that Alyssa’s home life is far from perfect, too. We’ve seen just enough to start to wonder about them. Alyssa’s response to her dad was the most telling - the way she completely changed her whole personality and mood in response to him coming home speaks volumes. 

Shinae doesn’t seem to register what she overheard, but the jagged speech bubbles suggest yelling, Meg and her dad probably arguing loudly. We don’t see anything, so it’s hard to completely read the body language - is Meg just covering hear ear because her father is yelling? Is she holding her hand up because he slapped the side of her face? 

Moreso, when Shinae asks if everything is good at home, and finally brings up the complete 180 change of Alyssa’s, she lashes out again. 

Hiding an angry, controlling, potentially abusive father is probably first nature to Alyssa. She’s learning - she knows what kinds of things will ostracize you, what will make you weird to the others. Isn’t it better to not let them see that side of you? But honestly, further? It reads even more like she’s just not allowed to bring kids around, period, because of him. When Shinae called to check up on Alyssa after checking on her, she asked if she could go over and visit Alyssa again, and her mom told her that she couldn’t. Whether her dad is actually strict about people coming over or Alyssa is just using it as a line to not allow anyone else (and frankly, it feels more like the latter, since she’s still feeling out what is “normal”), the point is: they’re hiding something. 

So Alyssa has a secret she’s so desperate to keep, that she absolutely does not want anyone, not even Shinae, and especially not her parents to find out. 

The other thing that made me start to feel more confidently about this possibility was the language used by the boys bullying Alyssa. It’s language that is very pointedly anti-gay. 

It’s not just simple bullying - it’s not (completely) about the stolen project, it’s not about who she hangs out with or her socio-economic status or who her paents are, or anything like Shinae is bullied for. 

“You’re really cute, you know that? Such a shame it’s going to waste though... Nasty.” 

What else could they mean by “going to waste” if not that it’s a shame that she, a cute girl, would never date them/some guy, that it’s “wasted” on her going “against the natural order of things” or something equally gross. 

“You know they say people like you have brains that are damaged, right? That’s why you’re the way you are.” 

Homosexuality being written off as a mental illness, as something wrong with the brain, as something that can be converted out of them, as though it’s a defect still remains an argument even in this day and age. Anti-gay hate speech still tries to convince queer folk and especially those who hate or fear them that there is something wrong with them, that they’re defective, that it goes against all that is natural (a man should only lie with a woman). 

These boys are echoing explicit hate speech, and I think it must be tied to the notes in Alyssa’s locker. If they were the same things Shinae is being bullied for, why would she refused so adamantly to tell her about it? If they were bullying her about the same thing, wouldn’t she maybe instead just blame Shinae? But instead, she doubles down on it, because this thing, this thing she’s hiding that she doesn’t want anyone to know about, would ruin everything. Her parents would hate her, and if she were forced to tell them the truth about it, perhaps she’d face even worse consequences with her family. 

Alyssa reiterates that she just wanted to be liked and to fit in. And now, there’s no easy way out of her current situation. She’s conflicted about the choice she has to make. She doesn’t tell Shinae what she’s conflicted about - but I think it’s pretty easy to guess what it is. 

Alyssa’s conflict is: does she remain friends with Shinae who has been nice to her and has treated her so well and probably made her feel special, but also whose relationship has brought Alyssa strife and made others think she might be a weirdo thief in association; or does she do what she set out to and forsake Shinae in favor of the other kids’ approval, to fit in and blend in just the way she wanted? 

We know what choice she made, but despite how things go, I don’t think it was the easiest choice, either. When Shinae calls out Alyssa on things like ignoring her, Alyssa deflects, though not well, and she looks nervous or anxious. When the awful girls are messing with Shinae’s belongings, Alyssa (unsuccessfully) tries to stop them. The whole altercation leading up to Alyssa recoiling and accidentally pushing Shinae out the window seems very much like a battle for Alyssa of what she wants and what she knows is right. 

Shinae had a big impact on Alyssa! She was Alyssa’s first friend, and probably one of the only real, true friends she ever had. Shinae liked Alyssa completely for who she was - for her love for math and science, for her cool trips to cool exhibits, for her ability to play so many instruments. The things that made Alyssa weird to people, Shinae accepted her for. Most importantly, Shinae was a bright beam in her life. She was radiant and seemed so confident and strong and tough - things that Alyssa admired but did not herself possess. 

Sure, it could have just been admiration. After all, when Alyssa began blushing with Shinae, it came off the back of compliments, right? 

Alyssa seems so taken aback by Shinae’s very earnest compliment, by the idea of impressing someone with one of her skills, with the idea of being able to play something for her. But if it was simply about compliments, wouldn’t all compliments make her flush? 

Minhyuk’s compliment doesn’t get much of a reaction from Alyssa. If anyone, she looks a little wary, a little put on the spot. But when Shinae backs him up and reiterates it, she’s back to being flustered, mumbling something Shinae doesn’t catch. 

Something I think is worth mentioning is that quimchee definitely differentiates these kinds of reactions. Blushes are colored red and usually use the lines, but there’s a LOT more cases of the lines being used without a blush. I’ve always thought of that as being flustered - similar to when you embarrass, but perhaps not to the same degree. 

We’ve seen it many times between Shinae with Dieter (compared to Dieter very often going red with the lines). We saw it when Shinae pointed out that Nol’s face had healed by getting very close to him and he got flustered, and even far earlier in the story, when Shinae ran into him in the Hirahara Corp. lobby and he fell out of the chair he was spinning in. 

We even see a small version of the lines on Shinae’s face when she watches Minhyuk at taekwondo and she finds him really cool. 

Now, I’m not trying to say red blush = romantic feelings, although I do think they tend to trend that way. I just want to reiterate that when the red color enters, it feels like more of a flush, a deeply blushing, than just flustered. Blushing can be embarrassment - but we also see it often with the lines (see Nol) or sometimes a sweatdrop. Perhaps quimchee does have a more specific set of rules about this that we’ll one day hear about, but it’s something I try to keep in mind. 

That said, Alyssa blushing A LOT in a black and white flashback where her sexuality has come in to play feels very, very pointed. The flashback has selective color, so Alyssa’s flush stands out. I think it’s meant to. I think we’re meant to infer this. 

Her blushing isn’t simply limited to Shinae praising her, either. 

When Alyssa finds out Shinae was bullied at her old school, she apologizes, and tells her she never would have guessed, asks how she can be so strong. Shinae is nothing but honest, but it’s her brilliant smile that sways Alyssa. 

I think there’s something even more specific about this blush, too. The close up on her face, how we don’t see it all, her eyes withheld, her mouth quivering. Alyssa is so affected by this. It’s not Shinae paying her compliments or praising her. It’s Shinae. Her warmth and radiance and strength and positivity and the way she just shines. 

And that smile GETS to Alyssa!

Alyssa can’t run away this time, so she looks away, but the blush still happens. Shinae’s smile just seems to be so disarming to Alyssa! 

For a while, when I was trying to decide if I thought this was a crush or a red herring, I considered: maybe every time Shinae is so bright and positive, she feels bad because she’s lying to Shinae. She feels bad because she knows Shinae is a better friend than she is. And sure, I suppose that could be. Alyssa doesn’t like when she looks like she’s in the wrong. But given the context of the explicit things the boys said, the bullying that Alyssa wouldn’t open up about, the thing that she absolutely adamantly does not want anyone to know about, that she can’t speak of? 

It feels like it’s exactly what it looks like: Alyssa has a crush on the nice, tough, confident, weird, boisterous girl who is so nice to her and sees something in her. 

Alyssa is so affected by Shinae’s concern, by her expression of actual care. Telling her she misses her, going all the way to her place to check on her, her relief that she’s okay. Alyssa is so touched by the effort Shinae puts forth, so moved to be on the receiving end of it. She just can’t reconcile herself with it. 

Because Shinae represents the thing Alyssa is hiding, that she wants to run away from. She knows the other students think Shinae is weird, and that association with her only pulls down her own reputation. She’s in conflict over what she wants (popularity, so many friends, people to like her to) vs what her heart wants - Shinae’s affection and unabashed confidence and the way she looks in Shinae’s eyes. 

But she can’t admit this to herself. She can’t let her heart, her feelings, rule this conflict. 

I think Shinae hit the nail right on the head - just not in a way she realizes. I think Alyssa IS lying to herself. I think she IS in denial. I think her sexuality is something she’s yet to reconcile, that at this point in time she cannot make peace with. Because people think it’s weird, because they think it’s unnatural, because it’s “wrong”, because they think people like her perverts are monsters. There’s a part of her that she recognizes is not “normal”, in that it doesn’t suit the status quo, what society generally believes to be true, so she hides it. She stuffs it deep down and tries to repress it, to pretend it’s not there, pretend that’s not her, pretend she’s the very picture of “normal” middle school girl. 

She pretends to like the things other “normal” kids do. She starts to feel uncomfortable about the things she DOES like. She’s not embarrassed about math club - she’s just self-conscious. Because being weird makes you stick out. It makes people look differently at you. If you’re “weird” enough, it makes them bully you, ostracize you. 

Alyssa is so lonely and she just wants to fill that void. She thinks fitting in will make it better. She thinks fitting in will protect her. Look how quickly the bully girls change their beliefs about Alyssa, as soon as she pushes all suspicion from her. No longer is she the weird one, suddenly they wall want to be her friend, they think she’s so cool. Just like that. 

Fitting in will afford her protection, because if she’s “normal” enough, no one will suspect her, no one will find her weird, and no one will find out about her darkest secret. It will keep her safe. 

Obviously, this is a naïve belief. Especially in middle school, kids will turn on you for whatever reason. Alyssa is clearly rich, eager to please, and wants to fit in. She’s sold one project and suddenly kids wanted her to do all their work, to benefit from her. It wasn’t real friendship - they just liked her for what she could do to them. But Alyssa is convinced that popularity - that being surrounded by people, by being liked, will protect her. She’ll fit in. She’ll have friends. That aching loneliness that has eaten her up won’t be a problem.

Except none of it is real. The real friendship was Shinae. Shinae was the one who liked her for who she is, not just what she can do for her. Shinae was the one she didn’t have to fake it for, who saw her at her worst and still tried to be her friend. It was the price she paid to protect herself, and her secret. 

But for Alyssa, who may see a part of herself as “wrong” because it won’t be accepted, who is so lonely and just wanted to be liked and to make friends, maybe she hopes that being liked will make up for that “wrongness”. Maybe, if enough people like her, it will make her feel loved in the way she wants, but won’t allow. If she thinks something is wrong with her, couldn’t the love and adoration of the masses, make her feel like it’s not true, cover it up, make it feel like it doesn’t matter? 

I think even now, in the present, it’s possible that Alyssa’s sexuality may be a thing she hasn’t reconciled with. Is she still hiding from it? Is she still fighting to be seen as “normal”? Who was she, before Yui made an idol of her, when she was friends with Nol, Dieter, and Soushi. Did she crave that faux normalcy even then? 

I’ve considered, too, that perhaps Nol provides another benefit he’s unaware of. Again, as I’ve said, we can only speculate on Alyssa’s sexuality, so it doesn’t rule out that she could also like men. But could it be that Nol provides her the protection that she needn’t deal with her sexuality? She has a boyfriend, case closed. It doesn’t matter then, who she’s interested in. It doesn’t matter, because who is going to question anything? 

(Also, tangential, but fake-dating someone who so-very-much resembles young Shinae, with that bright, radiant smile that had a way of always undoing Alyssa? Listen. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence. Even if she’s never had feelings for Nol, I still think she was drawn to him because of how Yeonggi reminded her of Shinae, how he was like an echo of the only real friendship she’d had, and I think that was a big part of the draw. Shinae had such an impact on her that years later, she was shaken to her core by someone whose smile was just as radiant as hers.) 

I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Alyssa’s sexuality, either. It wouldn’t have been repeated so many episodes if not. I always thought that Alyssa’s career will fail at some point, because the whole point of her character is that she is constantly trying to chase love and affection in places she won’t find it, and her fans’ love for her is only conditional. It used to be I thought that bullying allegations would arise and that would cause her call. Claims that Alyssa was involved with a girl who got pushed out of her school window, that she turned on her. It’s so easy to take the truth and twist it up a little. Shinae saw her first bully again when she was buying comics. Who’s to say Sarah Lee won’t show up again to bring down Alyssa. As a former trainee, wouldn’t Sarah have the most jealousy towards Alyssa? But now I do worry that it could be rumors of her sexuality that could be her undoing. After all, how did the boys targeting Alyssa know what they did? Where did they glean the information they used against her? 

I know Alyssa isn’t a popular character with a lot of the choices she has made. But I do think it’s worth acknowledging how her potential sexuality ties into those choices she made, and the kind of pressure she felt to fit in, to be seen as “normal”. A lonely girl who wanted nothing more than to have lots of friends, who probably felt so empty despite her parents’ overbearing interest in her, but who also knew that there was something about her that is considered Not Right, and that it was something that could threaten the very thing she covets - being adored. Idk, I think in that context, her choices make sense. They’re still selfish, she still can’t face conflict, she still doesn’t get that being loved is not about a role but who you are. But I think if she could feel that part of her accepted, if she didn’t fear what her parents would think, if she knew she’d be supported no matter what, maybe she wouldn’t have made those choices. 

Like everyone in ILY, Alyssa has to contend with who she really is and she really wants. Now that she’s an idol, she’s come to realize that even this love is conditional. That it doesn’t fill that lonely void, that it doesn’t replace whatever it is she’s seeking - it just makes it worse. 

[asteralien]

i know i know relationships change and people grow apart but i don't think i'll ever forgive ofmd for making me wait 18 calendar months for an olu/jim reunion and. they. break. them. up.

[lavenoon]

Maybe, if they'd had time to think, they would have realized that one measly crossbow bolt wouldn't have (seriously) harmed a demon as powerful as they know their friend to be. But a protector at heart, when there was only time for instincts, they simply had to move.

@naffeclipse Vanessa being possessed is of course prime angst material, but I don't think we talk enough about freshly exorcised Vanessa seeing her best friend casually hang with a demon. Don't think she'd be in a talking mood, really.

[international-superspy-superspy]

Wicked ; Wolfstar microfic @wolfstarmicrofic

Words: 491

Warnings: Physical abuse (dw, only mentioned)

Sirius covered his ears as Walburga’s screams echoed throughout The Great Hall. She screamed like a banshee in the night, roars so loud that they could make ears bleed. Walburga was hellish whenever she was angry, and that was most of the time.

“Sirius Orion Black! You dishonor your entire family! You’ve no right to ever show your face back in this house!”

The howler ripped itself apart, leaving a shredded mess on Sirius’ plate. “Mate, you alright?” Remus laid a hand on his shoulder, concern laced in his voice.

“Yeah, just swell.” Sirius picked pieces of the shredded paper off his plate, continuing to dine on his food. Despite the cool exterior he showed off, he was quite embarrassed and ashamed to have disturbed everyone’s breakfast with his mothers screams.

Suddenly, he’d lost his appetite. A horrible feeling in his stomach. Sirius stood himself up, causing his friends to look up at him. He ran off to the Gryffindor common room, tears pricking his eyes. No, he wasn’t going to cry because of his mother, of all people. He isn’t going to give in to her threats.

He found himself curled up on his bed, under the covers, robe dangling off on the side. Then the door swung open. “Padfoot?” A familiar voice spoke, Sirius could immediately tell who it was, with his soft-spoken yet firm tone, and the warmth it brought. Remus.

“Hm.” There was a shift on the bed, as if someone had sat on it. “What’s wrong?”

“Think you could tell.”

“Mind talking about it?” Usually, Sirius would shake any other person off, telling them to piss off. But it was Remus, not any other person. So he eventually gave in.

He sighed, taking off the covers and sitting himself up to look right at Remus. “I just…” Sirius began, “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about! She’s always so intense, always yelling at me, ridiculing me, all of that. I can’t get a single break with her. It’s as if she never even wanted me as a son! I mean, I feel that’s completely plain obvious by now. I go through hell when I’m at that place. I’d get things thrown at me! Every night I go to sleep with a new bruise or two!” He paused his rant, staring right at Remus.

“Never mind that last part, I’m sorry. I know you have it worse.” At this, Remus cringed. It’d only been a week since the last full moon. Some effects were still lasting on him.

“Don’t compare what we go through, Sirius. We both have different messed up shit to deal with.” Remus reassured, placing a comforting hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Your mother… she sounds wicked. And not in a good way!”

Sirius chuckled, “Yeah, she’s a damn witch!”

“The wicked witch of Grimmauld Place.”

“Hah!” Eventually, Sirius calmed down and the dreadful feeling in his stomach was gone. Thanks to Remus of course.

[skunkg1rll]

when i love someone i WANT to learn abt their past traumas, their insecurities nd pain so that i can learn how to love them right. i want to understand how i should treat, reassure and comfort them. i want to learn their love languages so i can love them the way they need

[lazaruspiss]

not sure how i manage to be bad at making a self insert lmao, i always end up developing them into an entire OC in the end