#and i liked it more. so now that i feel genuinely miserable as opposed to like confused and only half miserable i think i need them again'

[bitegore]

very important question. what various decepticon teams could use one (1) frontliner speedster

eta: i need at minimum four of them for this to work lmfao

[iamnmbr3]

(First and foremost, pls write a canon-drarry guide so i don't have to ask your opinion every time lolllll)

Maybe you talked about it but What'd you think of Draco's feelings for Harry in 6th (esp when it comes to Harry being reason for his father's imprisonment) and 7th year each and did it change or he always felt that way? You think whatever his feelings were (esp in 7th yr) were one sided (at that time) and Harry's just sort of caring and pitying him cuz he understands him and draco's miserable and there's not much on Harry's side? (It's so many ppl's theory btw)

IMO Draco had some deep feelings - idk whether i can call it love specifically or not but there was some attachment and trust and care for Harry. Even before 7th year not genuine hatred to cause him real harm at all yk....

Hahaha well that's lowkey what this blog is turning into (and I do have a drarry in canon tag). But also I love receiving asks. Neither you nor anyone else should ever feel hesitant to send me questions. It's fun hearing ya'll's thoughts.

As to your question, I think JKR wrote a 7 book drarry epic by mistake. Right from day 1 they were orbiting each other. I definitely think by 6th year Draco has some (probably repressed and unacknowledged) feelings for Harry. Those feelings are of course complicated by the fact that he and Harry are now on opposite sides of the war, Harry is virulently opposed to the ideals Draco and Draco's side stand for, he and Harry have never gotten along, and now Harry is kinda responsible for getting Draco's dad thrown in prison (and for the task of Dumbledore falling on Draco). So yeah there's definitely resentment there.

Some people have argued that Draco's attack on Harry is a way to keep him safe and send him away from Hogwarts. Personally I don't buy it. Draco is scared and angry and upset about the situation he and his family find themselves in and he takes it out on Harry in an act of vengeance. However, although what he does to Harry is violent and cruel, it's really minor given that Draco is a Death Eater. Can you imagine if Harry was left alone and helpless at the mercy of any other Death Eater? Yeah. It would not end well. Draco doesn't take things very far, waits till his Slytherin buddies are gone to make sure he is in control of the situation and things don't escalate (even though this means being left without backup and potentially getting hurt by Harry instead), and never even thinks of trying to kill Harry or turn him over to Voldemort to be killed.

(I also headcanon that while he boasted about breaking Harry's nose, inside he found that it didn't feel nearly as good as he thought it would, and indeed he feels a bit sick with himself though he ignores it. But that's an aside).

I think those merciful impulses are partly due to Draco being much more averse to violence than his family would like him to be, but also due to the complicated feelings he has about Harry. He doesn't really want to hurt him and he certainly doesn't want to see him dead. Even after the Sectumsempra incident, it is Pansy and not Draco who vilifies Harry. Draco doesn't seem to blame Harry - probably partly because he already consumed by self hatred and perhaps guilt over having tried to use an Unforgivable on Harry, and partly because he and Harry can never truly bring themselves to hate each other. Also when Harry pursued Draco and Snape after the Astronomy Tower sequence (well, really he's chasing Snape but it certainly looks like he's going after all of them) Draco makes no move to hurt him.

The next time they see each other is at the Manor in book 7. Despite the fact that last time they interacted was the Sectumsempra incident Draco doesn't hesitate to risk everything to shield Harry and his friends - even though he intimately knows the consequences of Voldemort's wrath and that he is condemning himself and his family to horrific torture at the best and quite possibly death. He doesn't identify Harry or even Harry's friends. He buys them time. He doesn't report when he sees Harry and Ron have taken their bonds off. He barely puts up a fight when Harry takes his wand. And his wand feels friendly in Harry's hand. I think all that is evidence of not just feelings but strong ones at that. What he did was an act of love.

And again in the fiendfyre sequence he completely loses control at the idea that Harry could be hurt and actually tries to intervene to save him. (Full breakdown of that sequence here).

Similarly I think Harry has more than simple pity for Draco. He's also kinda been fixated on Draco since book 1. By book 6 we get stuff like Harry getting distracted by the sight of Draco changing, getting annoyed when a girl pays attention to Draco, ceasing his investigation into Draco just because it put him at risk, lying to protect Draco from blame after the Astronomy Tower sequence, and worrying about him afterwards. And then in book 7 we get more worrying about Draco, Harry not trying to attack or speak to Draco when he comes into the cell at the Manor, Harry learning to block out Voldemort when the alternative is watching Draco get tortured - potentially to death, Harry dropping everything to rescue Draco specifically from the Fiendfyre (x), and much more. So yeah. Not one sided.

I think by book 7 Draco is in love with Harry, and by late in the book he may not even be able to fully deny it to himself. I think they both had feelings for each other - which were very complicated and contradictory and difficult for them given the circumstances, but definitely mutual and not unrequited. It doesn't mean they'd immediately be besties or fall into each other's arms during 8th year. But there's definitely a mutual attraction going on.

[pitchcom]

soz if u guys arent here for this but these are MY personal grid A/B/O assignments + reasoning:

Max: alpha and i feel like i dont need to explain this one LOL

Checo: omega but i could be persuaded to see beta checo !! like take one long look into his beautiful big brown eyes n little freckles and motherly aura and tell me you dont see it ….

Charles: controversial but …. alpha. omega charles truthers i see you. i love you and hold you dearly. but to me charles is just a softer alpha u know ?? but he still has the bite too him … like hes all sharp teeth grin n you KNOW its all casual with him but you cant help but fall in love w him anyways ….

Carlos: DOUBLY controversial but I AM AN OMEGA CARLOS TRUTHER !!!! like again. look into his big brown eyes n plush lips … look at his quotes about how he was “too soft” when he was younger n just wanted to be friends w everyone … i will die on this hill

Lando: TRIPLY CONTROVERSIAL but alpha lando scratches an itch in my brain actually !! like chest puffed bravado rookie lando wanting to prove himself bc people always assumed he wasnt an alpha … now mellowed cheeky alpha lando whose gone through 2 older omega teammates (spoilers for daniel LOL) and learned a lot from them …

Oscar: alpha but i could be persuaded to see beta !! idk hes just so chill. so unbothered. people assume hes a beta bc of his attitude but hes just been raised so that he literally does not care abt designations at all

Alex: beta but i could be persuaded to others … like this one is not solid solid to me ?? but hes genuinely just so chill with everyone on the grid that hes like a stabilizing force … a calming presence u know … even though he absolutely has the capacity to be teasing n silly

Logan: omega end of sentence. look into those sad eyes and miserable aura and tell me you do not want to bundle him up. hide him away whisper sweet things to him. he would love it too the frat boy logan-ers are lying to you …

Daniel: omega LOL i mean i can see alpha danny n would not necessarily be opposed to it but his kind of mentoring of max n lando … his wide eyed curly hair braces when he came into f1 … also honey badger nickname speaks omega to me. it whispered in my ear and i saw the vision of danny stuck with angry baby alpha max n the two slowly learning how to coexist abd slowly becoming one ot the closest people ever to each other

Yuki: i actually dont have a preference LOL i mean i think the whole “shorter/smaller person is an omega” thing is a tired trope so i feel i have a little predisposed bias against omega yuki BUT i am generally open to all designations for him

Fernando: I AM ALSO AN OMEGA NANDO TRUTHER i am too hung up on his twink days w the old grid to ever really see him as anything more then a conniving little omega who absolutely kicks ass and proves the haters wrong LOL. you love to see an omega whose a little feral out there. like go forth and cause mischief or something

Lance: i wanna say omega but i could be persuaded …. like look at him. plush hair big brown eyes with fluttery lashes pouty lips. hes a little spoiled thing like hes so cat coded to me. lanky ol omega who knows what he wants

Pierre: omega !!! i dont rlly have an explanation for this one it came to me in a vision BUT i love omega pierre … pretty little bratty omega …

Esteban: beta but generally open to all interpretations !! he seems so like neutral to me … like big lanky guy whose trying his best to stand out n get his moment in the sun but gets a little overshadowed by other stronger personalities …

Lewis: alpha 100%. again hes calmed hes mellowed but this man has the calm quiet “i know im the shit. what are you going to do about it?” alpha demeanor to me. like he absolutely tore it UP when he was younger n was brash n confident (and was not the best alpha) but after the nico situation and teaming w valterri he rlly had his eyes opened and now he’s just chilling

George: alpha but i could be persuaded to other points of view … like this man was crazy n dedicated enough to powerpoint present why he should be in mercedes 😭 i think that he is deffo like hyperaware of designations/tries to do his best by everyone in the paddock tho

Kevin: omega BUT i could be persuaded for beta kevin. no real explanation again but i am once again influenced by rookie kev and also his fatherhood

Nico: alpha or beta. again no real explanation for this he just gives off cocky would-be-an-asshole-if-you-didnt-know-him-well alpha vibes but in an uncle way. like the guy who likes to tease you but goes too far sometimes and doesnt rlly apologize for it

Valterri: beta through n through 🫡 again influenced by his stint at merc where he was the perfect second driver and was also brought in to help smooth over turbulent emotions that were left from the brocedes divorce and nicos subsequent retirement. definitely grew into himself a little more post merc tho and now gives no fucks about what people think abt him or his designation. viva la vida

Zhou: i wanna say alpha OR omega. my narrative is that he was a shy rookie who’s not super comfortable in his designation yet when he first debuts but as he spends more time with “no fucks given” valterri he slowly becomes more confident and comfortable in himself. thats it sorry zhou fans im not well versed in the zhou lore 😭

[lady-maracas]

My saviour

Pairing: Angel Dust x M!Reader

Word count: 1,3k

Warnings: Swearing, Angel being his normal flirty self (we love him for it).

Masterlist

I’ll be using fluff prompts:

#8, “I haven’t laughed like this in a long time.”

#9, “Hold still, this might hurt a little.”

#10, “I just wanted to thank you, for saving me.”

Life itself in Pentagram City was usually out of the ordinary. In other words, sinners did a lot of weird shit, which could make oneself feel uneasy. Today was just like the days before: shitty. You worked from 9 to 5, felt exhausted, went grocery shopping for the weekend and as the cherry on top, being harassed on the street by a random sinner. Lovely!

As you were on your way back to your place, an annoying ringing snapped you out of your thoughts: your cellphone. Slowly, you pulled it out of your back pocket to see who the hell dared to call you now.

Angel<3

Your frown immediately disappeared when you realized it was Angel Dust, one of your best friends, your party buddy. You answered the call:

“Hey!” You joyfully said.

“Ow, ow. Too much joy! What is up with you?” The voice on the other line answered. “I thought you were supposed to work all day?” He added.

“I did! I feel like shit right now!” You kept your joyous tone, “But now that I hear your beautiful voice, my day is actually better!”

“I don’t know what is up with you Toots, but I really want to get drunk tonight. ‘You in?” Angel said.

“You just read my mind! I’ll meet you there at 10!”

“Alright, you better lose some of that cheerfulness before then, you’re starting to sound like Charlie, shit.” He nonchalantly said. You knew that act was making him uncomfortable, you lived to tease him.

“Fuck you! Goodbye!” You hung the line and practically skipped all the way to your place.

Tonight was going to be fun! Right?

///

When you arrived at the club, you immediately realized the place was packed tonight. You almost changed your mind and went back home when you spotted Angel in the crowd, slightly taller and most sinners.

You made your way to him, “Hey, party buddy! Are you ready to have the night of your life?” You extended your arms for a hug, which he returned.

“Absolutely, and I personally think it’d be even better if it ended with you and me in my bed.” He winked playfully, which made you blush, “I’m just kidding, but by the look on your face you wouldn’t be opposed to that!” He laughed while making his way to the bar.

You stood there, a bit shocked, trying to hide the blush that rose on your cheeks due to his comment, and decided to follow him.

“What can we serve you tonight, fellows?” The bartender asked.

Angel and you both looked at each other and said in unison:

“Something strong.”

///

Almost an hour later, or maybe more than that, who knows, you stopped tracking the time after your fourth drink, you still stood at the bar with Angel. You were telling him a story that happened earlier at work.

“-And then the lady left and I said ‘don’t let the door hit you on the way out’ and guess what happened! It actually did! She opened it the wrong way and crashed into it!” You wheezed at your own story, almost spilling your drink.

Angel’s reaction matched yours, he leaned across the bar while he held his stomach with one hand, trying to keep breathing but failing miserably.

“Damn,” He wiped the tears from his eyes due to laughter. “I gotta tell you Toots, I haven’t laughed like this in a long time!”

You knew Angel was going through tough times, mostly because of his deal with Valentino. Knowing you made his day better and seeing him genuinely laugh made your heart flutter.

“Fuck yeah! I laughed so hard then, the lady became red with anger! She must’ve been ashamed!” You added.

Then, your stomach started revolting itself and made you stop dead in your tracks. “I need some fresh air.”

You pushed your way through the crowd, trying your best to not hurt anyone on your way out. As soon as the outside air hit you, your stomach basically thanked you and settled down.

You walked a bit, making sure you were feeling better, before you saw an ugly sinner make his way up to you. ‘Ugh, no!’.

“What’s a lovely thing like you doing outside all alone?” He stood close to you, making you insanely uncomfortable.

“Okay firstly, I’m a dude, second, I’m not alone.” There it is, your stomach felt sick again, and you knew it wasn’t from the alcohol.

“It’s alright sugar, I’m into those things.” He tried to hold you but you pushed him away.

“Leave me alone, I don’t have the time for this.” You leaned over, getting ready if your stomach decided to finally get rid of the poison you’ve been drinking.

“Listen you little cunt.” He grabbed the collar of your shirt. You could feel his disgusting breath on your face. “You gonna get on your knees and do what I ask of you, understand?”

“Fuck no!” You resisted, there was no way this was happening to you.

That’s when you felt it. The sharp pain on your side, just below your ribs. You suddenly felt hot, burning hot.

‘The fucker stabbed me?’

Then, the sinner was lifted off the ground by something, someone taller than him.

Angel.

“That was a very bad choice, shortie. I suggest you leave this gentleman alone and fuck off!” Angel practically screamed at the sinner, trying his best to not murder him.

All the while this happened, your vision started to get blurry, and your ears ringed. And then,

Nothing.

//

You woke up from your slumber, totally disoriented. As you looked around the room you were in, you could see the old tapestry that covered the walls. Old wooden furniture, a light that dimly lit the run down room.

As you put all the pieces together, the door opened slowly, making a creaking sound that made shivers run up your spine. ‘Did I fucking get kidnapped?’

“Heya sleeping beauty, did you sleep well?” ‘Oh thank heavens’, it’s Angel. That means we’re in-

“No, nuh uh,” you tried to get up from the bed you took your little rest in. “No way you took me to your tacky Hotel Angel, I’m getting out.”

He put a hand on your chest, keeping you from getting any further. “Sit the fuck back down,” He pushed me back on the bed. “First, this isn’t my Hotel, and second, this is where I live now, whether you like it or not.”

You whined a bit, part of it because he was right, and the other part was because your side hurt like, a lot.

“We better get you stitched up, before it gets infected.” He settled down a first aid kit on the side table and pulled out of it a needle and some thread. “You’re gonna have to pull your shirt up, Toots.” He looked at you up and down.

You shook your head no. There was no way he was stitching your skin back together, ew!

“Don’t be a baby, I have done things multiple times, I know what I’m doing! ‘Cmon.”

You slowly lifted your shirt, making sure you didn’t touch your wound in the process. You tried to not look at it, but curiosity took the best of you. That was fucking disgusting.

“Hold still, this might hurt a little.” With that, Angel began his work, closing your wound stitch by stitch. You bit your lip, hiding the fact that it hurt like a bitch. When the work was done, you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“There you go! As good as new!” He closed the first aid kit and gave you a smile. “You can stay here for the night, while you get some rest.”

“Thank you, Angel.” You sighed, the entirety of the night finally pushing down on you. “I just want to thank you, for saving me.” You smiled up at him.

“Don’t mention it! And hey, I told you the night would end up with you in my bed!” He playfully smirked and left the room.

‘Oh this is the start of something good.’

\\\

Heya readers! This is my first HH one shot and the first one I’ve written in a while. I know I’m a bit rusty but bear with me! Thank you for reading and if you have any requests, feel free to ask me!

Seeya!

[dwter]

hey everyone, so ive had a lot of time at this point to ruminate and have had conversation after conversation about everything going on and i truly and genuinely mean this when i say i think so much of my thinking and immediate reactions were entirely based in fear, anxiety and grief that i didn't give myself the ability to view the situation as it is.

ill say from the beginning ive always chosen to view this in a worst case scenario perspective. not just for myself, but also i think dismissing the victim ESPECIALLY those using anything to dismiss her literally instantly is really icky and so ive always looked at this with the perspective of everything (more or less) being true. now with that in mind--i dont think this entire thing was nearly as black and white as i initially thought it was. im saying it straight to save everyone the time to try and figure out my perspective, but after talking with people and thinking about real life, how people irl would view this and DO view it and other instances of this exact scenario happening both online and in real life: this is truly just not the horrible morally bankrupt incident i thought it was.

i thought a lot about how i wanted to go about explaining my perspective or if i even wanted to bc i really didnt want this to he seen as "dream defense" or align myself with the people who have had that stance since the absolute beginning bc they are srsly insane, but this is more for myself and for anyone who felt like they didnt have a perspective they resonated with throughout all of this. this is one of the first instances where i felt a genuine dissonance between my thoughts and feelings and my friends in the community whose thoughts i have always always valued above anything else, often even my own, especially when i was struggling with feeling conflicted out of fear and grief. i always clung to the people whose opinions i trusted (and still do trust dont get me wrong) because it felt easier than having to sort my guilty and scared conscience into rationality that could possibly oppose the people ive always looked to for guidance in discourse. just that fear on being on the wrong side of history and such. but like i said, this long winded and horribly overserious essay is for me more than anyone else--if not for people who have struggled with the exact same shitty time.

ill say the absolute first thing: it was not grooming. i held this opinion literally the entire time and people calling it grooming are not only using the term wrong but genuinely causing harm to such a serious topic. we are talking about two adults in a relationship with an age difference of four years like holy shit. when the first girl dropped her story, almost everyone came to the conclusion that it just wasnt that serious because he thought she was 18. with the second girl, she was one month from 18 and the dms from before turning such were genuinely the driest conversations in the world that he never initiated or made any notion of pursuing. this isnt to say you cant be icked out--the point of me talking about this isnt to make you suddenly change your views on anything but to try and claim that it was grooming or a crime took place is just wrong and dishonest of everyone. this is such a large part of where my personal dissonance with everyone's takes came from bc the way people were trying to claim that liking an 18 year old as a 22 year old was something akin to literal pedophilia (<- bc people WERE genuinely saying this) made me feel confused but also deeply guilty because i really just did not understand. and now that im less miserable, i can recognize that that confusion wasnt just linked to parasocialism or whatever deep twisted thing i thought was in my soul, it was literally just not the big insane evil everyone made it out to be. again, this isnt to try and say you individually cant be like "i dont like this" or "this is icky to me" or "this was bad judgement on his part" (<- which is my personal view btw) but to pretend it is some strange insane act of an active predator genuinely boggles my mind. i dont want to chalk everything up to being covidbrained but i think its a huge part of where this dissonance to real life comes from because i really do think if most of you sit down with genuinely and utterly normal people, they will not give a fuck about this. ive SEEN people have conversations about this with noemal people irl and have them literally laugh in their face bc of how deeply unserious it is. and again, i want to reenforce that doesnt mean YOU dont have to care, but to act as if this isnt an objectively undeep incident between two people is odd, especially to the degree ive seen.

now i cant just say this and be done so lets talk about the next part that people had an issue with: fan and creator power dynamic. ill also say this very straight: when the stuff came out with both girls i had a much larger issue with the "age gaps" than i did this for so many reasons. ive always, even before all of this, had my own opinions and such about ccs and fans ever having relationships and it usually along the basis of "as long as there is consent and mutuality, i have no real issue." its not strange to me that people want to be with people they like and idealize and vice versa. to keep this as objective as i can with this perspective, i wont get into thoughts that for dream specifically it especially doesnt surprise me in the sense that his past relationship + facing vitriol from every corner of the internet but fans + overall paranoia could have absolutely reenforced the normalcy and reasoning in this judgement call but i digress. i mean just obvious examples of people wanting to get with celebrities, or groupies or even in platonic ways where fans become genuine and actual friends of creators--ccs having relationships with fans was never a big deal to me personally. and since its relevant to mention in this case, ESPECIALLY online ones. im not saying there cant be power imbalances among a fan and a cc/celebrity, but to get like theyre all inherently like that again just makes zero sense to me and never has even before dream. this applies especially online where power dynamics are significantly dampened from what they can be and just i mean logically, dream has been a full blown cc for like a little less than 3 years and only at this level for maybe 1 or 2 without experiencing it in real life too. the idea that he himself would not see an issue with this, especially because it was a mutual exchange of company, is so completely unsurprising. and at its core, there really is no real issue in it of itself. a bad judgement call from dream? yes and ill stand by that since he shouldve been better safe than sorry. morally bankrupt and manipulative? 😭 no, not after really assessing shit rationally. i also want to add that it was a mutual thing. i know people are really trying to tear everything amanda says apart (<- which is incredibly strange btw, especially if that was your instant reaction and you were doing it publicly too), but taking everything shes saying as true, we know that there was a MUTUAL exchange of things of a sexual nature and this wasnt some manipulative one-sided exchange where dream controlled everything and gave nothing in return. this isnt to say that amandas feelings are entirely invalid or anything along those lines, but those feelings stem from miscommunication and not morally bankrupt predatory behaviours. like seeing all of the info and looking at the situation as it is, its very clear dream saw and believed this to be a mutual relationship. i was so confused and scared and panicked seeing words like "groomer", "innocent", "guilty", "predator" and others being thrown around i didnt even want to try viewing it for myself. but now that i have and now that ive talked to others, this entire situation reads as a bad break up more than anything else, not a strange manipulative abuse of power where mutuality is nonexistent.

overall this entire situation was framed so horrifically and i was tearing myself apart so much about feeling confused, it genuinely did not hit me the extent of just how deeply unserious it was until a friend of mine told me how they went out with their normal, most unchronically online friend, told the situation in the most objective way possible, and they literally laughed in their fucking face 😭 i also started thinking about real life instances of this happening like if it was another cc, a random tiktoker, an actor and realizing i literally would not care--and significantly less people who are as up in arms as they are would care too. and that ignores the fact that it was ONLINE, compared to in-person where whatever power dynamic could exist would be amplified by a thousand.

this entire thing is just so entirely subjective and if your personal opinions and values find this all shitty, absolutely no one is going to try and say to feel otherwise, at least not me. but to completely ignore that its just that--personal--values and opinions that determine how you view this, and act as though it is objectively some morally bankrupt, impossible to understand, predatory situation just feels reactionary and disconnected from real life at best and just shitty and even virtue signalling at worst. and also dont get me started on what some of you twisted that charity event in technos memory into because fucking shame on you, but ill make a separate post on that later maybe.

this really isnt meant to be a form of "dream defense" because if i was taught anything this past week it was that the way i connected so much of my own conscience to my ability to defend dream and his pr was and is entirely unhealthy, and it was all a wake up call--just not towards dream. the level of miserable agony i experienced, not even mostly because of what dream did, but because i felt like i couldnt DEFEND it, was dangerously all consuming and i dont want that anymore. its just not a healthy way to engage with any media, the need to constantly justify it in every single instance, and especially not with a cc. i want to be able to just see drama and controversy ride out and not have it feel so utterly all consuming, even if i do choose to comment on it. im making this statement bc like i said, it really sucked to feel like there was no public voice i completely agreed with and i realized that i could do that role if i wanted. and honestly, its just been very cathartic for me to write all of this out after feeling like an echo chamber of other peoples thoughts and my own grief the last week.

this community disappointed me in many ways, both the freaks who jumped on any baseless thread disproving amandas claims, dissected her behaviour, was very strangely dream defensive and chose to do all that shit PUBLICLY too. but also the people who chose to use this as an opportunity to act in the most reactionary strange ways that felt so virtue signal-y it was nauseating. i know the people who held/hold the views i did also dealt with the guilt and fear i did too, and thus no one was willing to so deal with the mortifying ordeal of a) sorting through these thoughts and b) saying them in any kind of public space even with just close friends, but ESP on a public blog. i mean, that was literally me. but it really fucking sucked to have just these two extremely polarizing and extremely isolating opinions be the only available voices 😭 my thoughts are getting very rambley now and i apologize, but i hope my points are getting across.

this is already insanely long, but ill start wrapping up. if you disagree with me, obviously thats fine. like i said, this was never made with the objective to change peoples minds which arguably was what my usual dream discourse essays was meant for sometimes. this was made for me and for this specific perspective to have light for anyone who wants or needs it. all i hope is that if you do come out of this with anything, is some form of awareness. of either real life, your opinions or even just yourself i dont know.

i really did love my time on tumblr so so fucking much. and i loved the people here even more so. i think i owe it all to you guys and just my blog itself to say my thoughts on shit, no matter if any of you agree or not. plus i mean if this flops i surely never have to face the consequences if im leaving anyways so peepoClap. thank you all so much for everything, and if you made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read my bullshit. i dont know if after this ill still leave, but regardless, it feels wrong to not make some homage to such an impactful place in my life. impactful people too :)

thank u all for reading again, and good fucking night !

[iwonderwh0]

Here’s a take

And let for a moment ignore the dbh and think of androids in general, in a more realistic way

Humans don’t hate androids because they are “perfect” or some shit like that

But because they exploit human emotions and turn human sympathy and compassion for each other into a vulnerability.

Now on how exactly androids poison human connection by mimicking it. Think of how corporate world exploits positivity and makes it toxic, uses major key music and bright colours, smiles at you with a big smile while not actually being friendly or caring about you, something that a lot of people grew so sick of that being unapologetically unfriendly and grumpy became kind of an attractive trait that in comparison feels GENUINE. So what happens when a corporation becomes so good at imitating human connection that you can’t even tell the difference? You become suspicious to other people.

You see genuine human interaction through the prism of constantly comparing it with androids. You start to pick up the exact things androids mimic and start to run new versions of Turing’s test on everyone.

Imagine being fired from your job by what looks like another human, a pretty one, that looks genuinely sorry. Genuinely sympathetic. And what’s worse – you fall for it. You leave feeling this sympathy and only when you start to think about it logically as opposed to emotionally (you just got manipulated), you realise that no real human even cared enough to talk to you personally. Not only you got fired, your company manipulated you into thinking that they still genuinely care about you. The resentment that will grow in you the longer you think about it will only be amplified with each “genuine” android you see.

Now when you see another beautiful human you can’t even appreciate their beauty because they are too much like an android. People who are pleasant to be around suddenly make you feel uncomfortable because they are a little too much like androids. And the more “genuinely-looking” androids get, the less genuine humans who do the exact same thing will look in comparison. Their behaviour will be subconsciously registered as an attempt to manipulate.

Now, think of millennial “grumpy” response to toxic positivity multiplied by ten, the one that spreads into each human interaction you have. Everyone is a test subject. Nothing is genuine. When it looks like it is –you are being manipulated into liking someone who isn’t even fucking real. Suddenly being near assholes becomes weirdly comforting, because at least you can be sure that this is real. As a protest to androids becoming better at imitating love, you start to sparkle your casual interactions with hate. It becomes new way of assuring your humanity, authenticity, your real life “I’m not a robot” badge that you exchange with other people that are equally testing you for authenticity as you are testing them.

And living in a society where you subconsciously start to view interactions as only genuine when they are expressing negative emotions (to be more specific, egoistic and hostile ones) — this is hell. It will make you miserable. It will make you hate androids for stealing something so precious you didn’t know it could be stolen. And seeing people who fall for this emotional trap every time, going as far as defending androids, preferring them to real people — will only make you angrier. And there is nothing you can really do with this anger either, other than to gradually become more and more hostile towards the androids and the people who defend them.

Sure, you hate the company(ies) responsible for androids, but you don’t interact with their representatives every day – you interact with androids. The product. And under this angle, will people hate androids? Yes. Yes, they will. And if you are not delusional, you’ll learn to hate them as well. The hatred is justified, as androids are the walking embodiment of a dark pattern*. It’s not about them “stealing jobs” (company executives made a conscious decision of “optimising” their businesses), it’s not about them “being perfect”. It’s far deeper than that.

* dark pattern is basically psychologically effective manipulative design. As an example – infinite scroll, gambling games, fake close buttons that make you click the ad, etc.

[presiding]

Another question regarding the fic. I wanted to make it short but couldn't word it this way

I liked how you choose lethal elimination of Breanna in your monster in the hull fic. Was it done from Emily's character perspective or do you think that Ashworth is a lost cause herself?

Personally,i always felt conflicted on that matter. She's too dependant on Delilah.

Her whole freedom is about running away from an unwanted marriage with an old man to relationship with a woman.

And yet,was she truly free in a witch coven or Delilah made her a caged bird? I think that Breanna's feelings are genuine but they became twisted with time.

DH2 (to some degree) makes me feel as she could've had a normal life. She became a curator of conservatory on her own before Delilah started communication with the coup through the void.

And still...she returned to her again once she got an opportunity.

Such an interesting character and there surely something is up with Delilah's arcane bond.

BREANNA!!! BREANNA ASK WOO

tysm you're so kind 😭♥♥ you sent me another ask with a fantastic analysis and i'll publish that as soon as i can work out how to add spoiler warnings but! YES! YOU GET IT!

talking about breanna in canon - yeah i totally agree! yes yes yessss

i think breanna's feelings for delilah are 100% genuine. to put it entirely in metaphor, i can't see her as being a caged bird, i'd describe her as trap-happy instead! though --- she viciously defends her cage from anyone who gets too close. i like that she's dependent on delilah and i would argue she likes it too.

the main thing that bothers me is that in low chaos/canon, breanna, after losing her powers, seems to immediately give up. from memory she says deliiah will have no use for her now.

i know that's meant to reflect more on delilah, and breanna's deep understanding of what drives delilah as well as her acceptance of it (😭), but i can't help but headcanon that she wouldn't give up on delilah so easily. whether its, as you say, a return to some semblance of normal life (aka biding her time), or an obsessive hunt for delilah, i also don't think she'd ever get over it really.

the lengths breanna might have gone to find delilah again, are really interesting to think about!

(from a gameplay perspective i see why they wrote it so that she just gives up - it's a convenient low chaos ending for her to stop being a threat to the protagonist.)

talking about the monster in the hull - generally when i choose the fate of a character in a fic, my primary concern is, what am i trying to say with the piece of writing overall? as opposed to how i feel about the character specifically. i have been accused of being ruthless before when it comes to character deaths, but i don't like making anyone miserable unless there's a reason for it. i'm a softie who, unfortunately, loves themes ™ so sometimes i have to pick whose story i'm exploring, and how am i doing that, and then pare back from there.

though the monster in the hull is a Dishonored 2 rewrite, i wanted this to be primarily about meagan foster, and secondarily, emily's relationship with meagan (with a few other running commentaries/themes as well - namely monsterhood, power, guilt/regret, family).

i wrote it a year ago so my memory's hazy but the main things that made me decide on a lethal approach for breanna, was:

emily at the halfway point in the fic is a loose canon, and even if she has taken a genuine shine to meagan foster she still needs to be a threat

loose canon as distinct from high chaos - her heart is in the right spot but she's still lashing out. and she's still behaving fairly self-centredly - she wants to do the right thing but hasn't gotten her new powers under control.

all emily's attempts to crack meagan's facade... have come to nothing. meagan is keeping her mouth shut. so finding out the hard way that meagan DID have a relationship with emily's greatest enemy - delilah painted her! - and all this time she's said nothing - she's so pissed off she fumbles a mission that technically she could have ghosted through.

and by the time she gets back to the boat, she's eerily calm about it - which is why i went with the canon dialogue.

billie's prior relationship with the witches means she has a high investment in the outcome of this mission. but! she knows she was a coward by choosing to not say anything to emily beforehand!

so to find out that emily has been ruthless, and yet is acting like she's fine, is really to twist the knife of fear. meagan's been wondering this whole time what she's gotten herself into, and she just found out - not even breanna, who was both powerful and meticulous, was able to save herself from emily

but of course... there's still the assassin beneath her meagan mask, so they are both concerningly detached in a way.

not to mention! the implied jealousy <3 as a treat!

oh and from memory! i think later on sokolov was absolutely roasting emily for having killed breanna. you know you've fucked up when sokolov is the voice of reason.

there was a delilah plotline i was considering, but i ended up cutting, in which breanna would have played more of a role, but i realised it was going to blow my word count estimate out of the water. funnily enough every time i draft up something with delilah in it, she takes over really quickly. very on brand!

thank you SO much for the kind words again and thanks for letting me ramble in response here, its really really really nice to see that people are still reading the fics that held me hostage so it's super lovely of you 💓💓💓thank you for making my day!

[utilitycaster]

Threatened this once as a throwaway tag, so: let's talk about why "Justice for Adeen Tasithar" as an attempted criticism of Essek is absolutely wild as a choice.

Disclaimer: there are many deeply annoying fans of Essek who do not seem to understand that the narrative and the cast (and by extension, merch/official art/comics) will treat him differently for being an NPC, even if he is a very important NPC and a member of the Mighty Nein, and you are justified in being annoyed. There are also a number of equally annoying Essek haters, most of whom are bitter shippers who have (correctly) realized it's slightly more palatable to others in the fandom to openly hate on Essek than on a PC; or else they are the miserable souls who think that every minute spent on a character other than their personal favorite stolen and wasted time. I am a firm believer in this post; everyone is annoying and complaining on your own blog about it is your absolute right. Also, both in regards to the fans mentioned above and the characters mentioned below, it is possible for people on two opposite sides of a position to both suck.

The first issue is the phrase itself; it co-opts a statement usually used for victims of hate crimes or political prisoners in the real world, and makes it unironically about a pretend guy who had precisely one scene, which is certainly a choice. I'm not actually opposed to using "Justice for" jokingly in fandom, but it is weird to use it relatively seriously in fandom.

The second is that Adeen Tasithar is a member of one of the Dens of the Kryn Dynasty, and is a Taskhand, a term reserved for people with high-level military responsibilities, and is a member of the Bright Queen's Court. During wartime. Coupled with the fact that Essek, who, as described below, is never portrayed as particularly cruel nor petty despite his many flaws, thinks Adeen genuinely does suck, this means that at best, Adeen Tasithar is heavily involved in military operations at a very high level and is in some way personally unpleasant. At, frankly, not even worst, we're talking D&D Donald Rumsfeld. Now, we can debate whether Essek is a war criminal or merely traitorous (not on this post though, because I don't care and it's not relevant), but, while we know very little about Adeen Tasithar, it's not an overreach to say that this man has a pretty strong chance of being guilty of his own war crimes. In general, calling for justice is something I'd hesitate to use in an "the enemy of my enemy" manner, especially if it's well within reason to consider that you're talking about Ludinus Da'leth's Kryn counterpart.

The third is that while you're under no obligation to like Essek, he really is, in general, portrayed as a decent judge of character and a terrible judge of whether selfishly following his own ambition was appropriate and what the consequences might be. He detests the members of the Cerberus Assembly with whom he works; he likes the Mighty Nein despite them ultimately being his potential undoing. He has a few friends in the Dynasty and cares about his (unambiguously good) brother, and feels remorse about his father. Essek has done terrible things in the service of his goals; but directly throwing an innocent under the bus (vs. setting into motion things that will, as a side effect, lead to innocent collateral damage, which he obviously will do) isn't his style. Again, at the very least, Adeen Tasithar is someone whom Essek genuinely believes is a bad person (note that Essek, by this time, also considers himself to be a bad person, and Trent Ikithon to be a "fuck hole", which might help your understanding of scale here). This doesn't mean Tasithar deserves what he got, but frankly, in a campaign about people who got a lot of things they didn't deserve, it's a pretty blatant straw-grasp onto a side character with the briefest of appearances to decide he's your poster boy victim just so that you can go full spiked bat on a character you dislike.

The fourth is that there's never any connection to how Essek not being friends with the Mighty Nein (or entering a relationship with Caleb) would provide justice for Adeen Tasithar, who is in an Empire prison by the end following the exchange during peace talks. It's actually entirely possible that the Empire eventually figures things out re: Adeen, notably because memory modification as a criminal act is going to be really fresh in their minds following the Ikithon trial (and if they interrogate Trent, it's also possible the Empire finds out about Essek). Essek is already a fugitive from the Dynasty and cannot move freely through the Empire as a drow whom assembly members would recognize. The guy didn't get off scot free anyway, so really, he is going to suffer to some extent; you just want him to experience abject and total misery, rather than constant fear tempered with a small degree of happiness, like some kind of sicko, or megachurch member.

The final one is that "justice for Yeza Brenatto" or "I don't like that Essek worked with the Assembly even if he wasn't happy about it" would actually be far more reasonable statements to make. Yeza was, in fact, a simple alchemist who was forced to become a pawn in the game being played by, among other people, Essek, and suffered immensely for it. The Assembly does in fact suck. And yet, rather than admit Caleb also considered working with the Assembly for selfish reasons, or that Veth, you know, exists people jump to woobify some random NPC about whom we know basically nothing other than "Military guy, well-connected politically."

So anyway: feel however you want about Essek; but if you're on Adeen Tasithar's bandwagon, I don't think you actually are terribly bothered by hypothetical fictional war crimes. I think you just are too spineless and online to say "I dislike Essek" and needed to construct an elaborate poor reason why.

[mezmer]

Mention of death toward the end

Lately I've been thinking about how much pain my grandma was in during her last days and how she was opening up for years about the pain she felt, how she felt nobody was respecting her or helping her in her last years, how she felt like everyone hated her cuz that's genuinely how my mom kind of treated her. And I grew up yanno when I was old enough to handle it, with my mom telling me how bad my grandma was. And id ask her what grandma did and one thing that seemed to really bother my mom was my grandma having a breakdown and stabbing the couch with a knife. That's it. And stealing my mom's Ritalin. Idk that's a mentally ill woman. Maybe I feel bad looking at it from the granddaughter's point of view as opposed to a daughter. My grandma had a hard life. She was close to her brothers and lost them both in freak accidents when she was young. Both her parents also in freak accidents, separately. Swear to God. And my grandma had a good handle on life probably 90% of the time. She was a very funny and sweet talkative woman. And I've seen her cry, when I was very young, and it changed me, not in a bad way. My mom has huge resentments yet calls me "little sue", as in, she compares me to my grandma often, and I've gotten similar trwatment. My mom has chilled out a lot about her treatment of me since I moved out though.

Anyway, the point is, I feel that growing up with my mom whispering in my ear that grandma is a miserable woman, dramatic, always complaining, shaped me before I was able to take a step back and reason with those comments fairly. So while my grandma was growing more ill and weak in her last few years, my mom would make comments like "she's being so dramatic, talking about how she's going to die" well yeah. She is. And everyone is acting annoyed by her. Everyone is leaving her to cry instead of listening to her. Well it isn't easy to be there for somebody in that situation, I know.

But one thing my grandma taught me from a. VERY early age. Respect your elders. Respect your grandparents. And she told me that her own grandparents taught her that when she was very young.

I regret not listening to her and sort of gravitating toward whatever it was my mom said to me. But really, I never believed my grandma was being dramatic. I JUST COULDNT comprehend her suffering. Now I do. Now I understand. It was like blank space to me, and I would just avoid it. I never should have avoided it. Her final days, I was there about a month before she passed. Usually a month before old folks will still be lucid. God, she was in so much pain, crying out, still even on very strong opiates. In contrast, my maternal grandma was smiling and talking to me two days before her passing, similar situations and ailments between the two of them.

But lately I have been thinking about it so much. She moved to Michigan toward the end so my aunt could help her. She was living with us a year prior and that's when my mom was just a mess. I can't blame my mom too much, but I know it was wrong. I'm remembering all the YouTube links she was posting on my wall that I wouldn't always watch. Remembering her making a photo of me her profile picture before her last fall. And when she passed, it was her profile picture. My aunt went on and changed it back to a photo of her which I appreciate. It was hard seeing that. And she loved me so much. When I came to see her, she said "Maddie oh Maddie ..." And started to cry. After that, she did not recognize me or interact with me ever again. What I would do to hold her. Why didn't I embrace her and hold her in that moment? Why did I step back and watch? I am sickened by it. I regret it so much

[lakesbian]

Any thoughts on a fitting implement for Blake or Rose? Or for any of the Undersiders?

i will declare right now for my own sake that i shannot discuss the matter of the undersiders as practitioners presently or i will enter an autistic fugue state regarding alec vasil and we will never finish getting through all of the pact questions + resume reading the book. I will continue fermenting my opinions on this matter and return to it at a later date when i have more information to confirm my thoughts.

as for blake: The Stone. no i'm just kidding to make fun of him. it would really be helpful if i had more information on All of the most common implements but i get the gist well enough.

first of all i will state for the record that i do not think blake's aptitude with glamour (as of 3.5) is actually even remotely indicative of his approach to being a practitioner. he's not fucking confident at all with it! glamour is quite literally "fake it til you make it" but magic--if he was intuitively skilled at it, you would expect him to respond to rose's "haha i hope this works or you're fucked!" with "pshh of course it will work," but instead he nervously goes "i hope it works also :(" and then proceeds to sweat bullets the entire time. and despite being constantly paranoid that his glamour is going to be seen through, despite being a complete amateur with it, he gets so into it that it not only holds up largely perfectly but starts seeping into his cracks and emotionally effecting him. as rose put it, It's Not Supposed To Be That Easy. and the fact that it Is despite him...not really being very good at it, i think that indicates more of a weakness he's occasionally able to leverage as an advantage (albeit at intense personal cost) than a genuine talent. that man is getting Corroded. get corroded and subsumed by the violent expectations your family has set for what you were Supposed to be, you fucking nerd.

anyway. as for his actual approach thus far, he's like. hm. as i discussed some during arc 1, he's extremely willing to roll with the punches (& punch back) when he needs to. as much as being humiliated or acting violently upsets him, he can take it And dish it when it's necessary 4 survival. he really really really wants to climb to better circumstances and have a peaceful home and a family comprised of people who are good to him & whom he's good to in return. but ultimately he's extremely familiar with being homeless and beat down and viewed as less worth than dirt, and it's a misery he knows how to force himself through. which is to say his practitioner approach is Miserable Desperate Scrambling by a dude with a Scrambling Degree. he's exceedingly direct so far. he finds out how faeries work and then immediately fights a faerie by literally just telling her how faeries work. he's not, like, utterly lacking in self-preservation during negotiations, but he's pretty direct about attempting to State How Something Is in a convincing manner instead of attempting to mislead people. he responds to finding out that maggie killed his cousin by telling her to fuck right off instead of using her guilt to get a better deal like he could've. etc. ultimate move of Hit You With Pipe or Try To Call The Cops On You (Again) because he simply does not have enough of a knowledge or power base for anything more indirect or clever as of yet. not inherently opposed to trickery per se but thus far he's preferred to feel like all of his actions are some level of morally justifiable, and he's distinctly targeting people who have made the most notable moves against him.

i was sort of hoping that writing all that would make an idea magically pop into my head or brain but it did not. it would be cool if it ended up being a mirror. i can't defend that statement but i think it would be cool! let me see. i think something unique and somewhat decorative in a way that bolsters his personal identity would be fitting, because he stakes a lot on personal identity. he values his body being His to exist in and express himself with, he likes art, he likes having nice new things. i think an implement which bolsters his own sense of self & makes being a practitioner something more comfortable + confident would be a good balance to how thus far it's just sapped him and degraded his identity. something stabilizing, in a way. is that anything. but a talisman doesn't fit, because he Is pretty brash and concerned with the real. something unique and somewhat decorative but with a clear purpose and very direct/blunt application? still struggling for precise objects here, but i think talking abt the Idea behind an implement for him instead of just naming an object is fine.

[defira85]

Have some noodling Oracle/Unnamed/Lia thoughts because Touchstarved consumes me and there is no end in sight:

So when I saw the three origins for the MC in Touchstarved, and I saw that one of them was an Oracle, I knew that was going to be my main no matter what - because when I see the word oracle, I always think of 300 by Frank Miller (or the movie by Zac Snyder) and I have SO many feelings about that (under a cute for tw: rape/non-con stuff)

I should say straight up, I love 300. I also hate it. I have a lot of mixed feelings about Frank Miller’s work in general, because he’s such a titan of industry, and there was a time when I genuinely did love and devour a lot of his stuff. I am older now, and a bit more media/genre savvy, and I know now that a lot of the mixed feelings I have about his work is the knowledge that his stories are not for people like me and never were for people like me

Case in point, the oracles in 300

For those not familiar with the story, King Leonidas of Sparta goes to the Ephors (magistrates, essentially) to ask for their permission to go to war against the soon to be invading Persians. The Ephors consult the Oracle, and this is depicted as a heavily drugged young woman in flimsy, almost non-existent clothing writhing around in a drug-induced stupor. It’s heavily implied that the Ephors rape her while she is in this state, and Leonidas finds them disgusting for this, but is still bound by tradition and culture to honor their leadership even if he does not abide by their ruling

And in both the comic and the film, there’s such a vibe of “oh no look at this poor girl, who is so insanely sexual and writhing about sensually as if to tempt men, but who is also clearly doing this against her will and is drunk to the point of incoherence. It’s so sad that’s she basically being raped to death by these disgusting old freaks. Oh well, I’m sure that’s none of my business”

And that hit me, so hard, back in the days when wee young Defira devoured these stories. I didn’t know why it was hitting me so hard (I mean, I knew it was disgusting and I hated it) but I know now that coupled with the treatment of the one or two other women in the entire story (also raped), it was basically a big flashing neon sign pointing me to the door to tell me this wasn’t a story where people like me got to be more than set dressing. We were consumable props. Nothing else. Not even people.

Fast forward to now, with Touchstarved promising an adult, monstrous horror setting that plays with queer stories and queer notions of alienation and self-loathing and, let’s be honest, monstrous sexuality and sex, when I saw the Oracle origin I knew that was the one for me.

Because that girl in 300 has lived rent free in my mind for DECADES. What if the Oracle got a chance to be more than a prop, more than a set dressing? What if she was never rescued, like she was just shrugged and abandoned to her tormentors in the story, but what if she got a chance to be monstrous and turn the torment back on them? What does that girl become, once she’s escaped from the only place she’s ever known, a place of isolation and pain and horror at the hands of humans? What does she believe about monstrosity, when faced with people and creatures who defy classification, as opposed to the mundane humans who caged her and abused her and raped her and used her for the own financial gain?

Ophalia, or Lia, is my answer to those questions. Her backstory is bleak, but the setting gives me leave to play in that bleak, miserable space. She’s frightened and she’s angry and she’s so stupidly trusting and naive because she doesn’t know how to be a human! She doesn’t know how to relate to other people! She is monstrous because of her curse, but she’s lived a monstrous life and I’m excited to play in that space

[haleigh-sloth]

I think the reason why there's so many misconceptions of Tomura's character is because people refuse to consider AFO's role in his story outside of "he just picked him up and is slightly weird to him" Which stems from their dislike of AFO as many prefer if he just let Tomura have the reigns and retired in the background, they genuinely believed he was sincere when he said he wanted Tomura to take over his position as the symbol of evil.

They don't consider the grooming and just how much influence AFO has had over Tomura and how they take everything Tomura says at face value. I think a lot just underestimate AFOs role into shaping Tomura into who he is today, which is why we get all the "Tomura got cheated out of his rawness" or "he's an advocator for social justice!" takes.

I think if you refuse to consider AFO's role to the story and refuse to look at him beyond basic dislike of him then you're missing a huge chunk of the story and robbing yourself of an interesting character dynamic between AFO and Tomura. The body possession plotline doesn't come off as a surprise if you read more into AfO's character and Tomura's.

Yes I do think there was a wide-scale issue of people just...ignoring AFO.

He's one of those characters who was present throughout the entire story but in a way that he was haunting the narrative rather than directly participating in it.

The take you're talking about is one that I honestly don't bother debating with because anybody who thinks AFO is just some guy is...idk, not worth arguing with. But what puzzles me is the subset of raw Tomura stans who are fully aware of AFO's influence on him and yet still feel robbed by the body snatching plot...somehow.

Idk how you look at Tomura's development and be confused by the direction it went. AFO was never truly "gone" and if you look at MVA and look at the narration and the pictures separately it's almost like two entirely different stories are being told. You can EASILY see where the narration turns from a clear recollection of a memory to a distorted perspective that only JUST FORMED IN THAT MOMENT.

MVA for Tomura was the opposite of what so many people describe it as. It was not him stepping out of AFO's shadow. He literally stepped into the palms of AFO's hands and whether it was a take that formed because of weekly release of chapters at the time or not, we literally have almost all of the context surrounding MVA, so there's seriously no reason to continue thinking that MVA was a positive step forward for Tomura.

Everything that happened in MVA can easily be related to everything happening right now. Tomura broke out of AFO's possession (for now) but he didn't break out of AFO's narrative for him--that being that he's destruction incarnate with no other purpose for being alive. No, Tomura has not suddenly realized what he actually wants yet. That shit is still buried so deep, and his behavior right now rejecting the sheer concept of Izuku having any other intention besides forever opposing "his villain" shows that Tomura still views salvation as something so far beyond his reach, hence why he clings to the story AFO wrote for him because in that case, he knows the answer.

Openly crying out for help leaves room to be rejected and hurt again. Refusing to cry out for help and just forcing his counterpart to continue fighting him means he doesn't have to wonder what could be, he already knows the answer. That's why he's like this. It's because AFO convinced him that there is only one future for him, and it's a miserable one. The concept of possibly escaping it but being rejected that opportunity is too painful so Tomura clings to the story where he doesn't have to hold onto hope (even though he still is).

[thejesterstears]

So kind of wanted to talk on a point of the episode I had thought would go differently now that I've processed more...? And hope I don't get backlash haha.

I kind of wish Pomni had been more receptive of Ragatha’s attempts to reach out to her. It’s completely understandable that Pomni was in a bad headspace for it, having had a horrible nightmare after a traumatic first day in the circus, and that being cheered up or having the situation sort of sugarcoated for her didn’t sit well as opposed to just laying it out that she was miserable about it and being truly heard. And it was also incredibly important for Pomni’s growth and acceptance of her situation to befriend someone openly struggling with her same feelings who just outright stated how much it sucked, who helped her work through her own feelings as she helped him as well. But I just felt sad for Ragatha, the one who always seems to be ensuring that everyone but herself is being taken care of, that she was genuinely trying to connect with Pomni and help her feel better only to get such lukewarm responses that she actually believed Pomni didn’t like her, which hurt her because she clearly does care a lot for Pomni already even after what happened between them.

I do think they can form a solid friendship going forward. Pomni was much warmer toward Ragatha at the end, and accepting of the other circus members as she realizes she can depend on them. But I guess I kind of built something in my head I thought would be there or thought that Pomni would make amends by apologizing (which again, she was pretty out-of-it and still adjusting to her new surroundings, so I do forgive that—I think I just envisioned that to play out differently haha).

TL;DR I just think the jester and the rag doll should hug it out

[uncloseted]

Why do people hate media being 'woke'? I don't get the hate a show can get for telling strong female character stories or POC characters, or when games have genderless or queer characters you play as. It's like these people have never stepped a foot outside to see how diverse our world really is. Is it about keeping marginalized groups marginalized? I can't fathom how you could see a POC on a show and have people angry and calling it woke media. Are these people miserable in life?

There are a bunch of different reasons why this happens, some understandable and some less so.

For some people, I think it comes from a "they changed it and now it sucks" mentality. This is common in franchises that already exist- some people will always oppose any changes to the property, sometimes even if those changes are unimportant. I think there's kind of an inverse relationship between how invested a fan was in previous iterations of the franchise and how much they'll think the new thing sucks. For example, with Doctor Who, you get this pretty much every time the show gets a new actor playing the Doctor, even if they're both fairly interchangeable white men. Basically, "woke" = something about the franchise changed = "now it sucks".

Then there are times where the show changes and it does actually suck. Sometimes, a franchise decides to be "more diverse", but then seems to forget that it also has to write good stories in order to be successful. Going back to Doctor Who, I think a lot of people feel this way about the Thirteenth Doctor. It seemed like they decided her personality was "is a woman" and didn't really develop her further than that, and the writing for her episodes are often just bad. I think the all-female Ghostbusters remake may have also run into this problem (although I didn't see it so take this with a grain of salt). It wasn't as good as the original, and so people were mad about the drop in quality. This can also happen when a "diverse" character gets shoehorned into a property that otherwise is pretty homogeneous- the character's only trait is whatever makes them diverse, and it's annoying to watch. People who hate "woke media" for this reason basically think that "woke" = drop in quality = "now it sucks".

Then you have the group of people who hate wokeness because they feel like adding diversity is pandering to a small, vocal group of people. People who hate "woke" media for this reason basically believe that diversity is being included for monkeymaking or optics purposes and, as a result, impeding the artistic vision of the piece of media. Typically, these people will believe some version of "the woke mob is forcing diversity on us." There's a fear here that media is being used to "indoctrinate" people as opposed to "genuinely" wanting to include diversity (but no inclusion of diversity will ever be considered sincere enough by this group). I think for these people, there's also a feeling of, "I've been a dedicated fan since the beginning, why are you throwing out your lifelong fans to try and pander to a totally different demographic?" To them, I think it feels almost like a betrayal of all the time and energy they invested into the franchise/hobby.

Kind of relatedly, I think a lot of people feel like "this used to be a thing that was for people like me, and now it's not." By adding diversity, some people feel that their homogenized community is being threatened. These people are usually (but I'm sure not always) white men who identify as "gamers" or "nerds". They view being a "gamer" or a "nerd" as a core part of their identity, and I think for a lot of them, it connotes a very specific type of life experience - I think it's something like being bullied at school for being different and growing into a socially awkward adult who has difficulty making friends who aren't part of that same community. I think these people are essentially afraid that "wokeness" will change the makeup of the "gamer" or "nerd" community, forcing them to change how they act in the one social space where they feel comfortable and causing them to be ostracized. Basically, "woke" = "I'm going to lose my community" = "I'm going to be alone" = "wokeness sucks". And alongside this, I think there's also a feeling of, "I can't relate to these characters anymore". The characters that used to be in their video games or movies or TV shows were simultaneously relatable and aspirational to them. Now, they have a hard time putting themselves in the shoes of the protagonist and they don't see them as something to aspire to, so it isn't appealing to them anymore and they feel like they've lost something.

Finally, I think some of these people are just really uncomfortable with the fact that the world is changing. I think they know exactly how diverse our world actually is, and for them, that's the problem When a person is accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression. I think a lot of the cishet white men who are mad about "wokeness" feel like they're losing their status in society or that they were promised a future that never materialized. The changing demographics of people who play video games or watch TV or movies are a symbol to them of the way that times are changing, and I think they feel like if they can hold on to the position of privilege they have in the media sphere, they can hold on to privilege more generally. I don't think they would say that it's about keeping marginalized people marginalized- they would say that it's about maintaining "tradition" - but it amounts to the same thing. And yeah, I think these people are a little bit miserable in life. I think we're in a crisis of masculinity right now and a lot of cishet white men don't know what to do except to be loud and angry at the wrong people.

I'm sure there are other reasons, and I think for a lot of people that hate "wokeness" it's some combination of the above factors, but these are the ones that come to mind for me.

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

Restraints

woo hoo!! my first genuine piece of whump writing, hell fucking yeah! I've been lurking in amongst whump writing for oh so long, and I decided it was finally time to grow some balls and actually post a thing. so, without further ado, enjoy this absolute bloody mess featuring the skrunkly himself, the one and lonely, Rayan :D!!

Cw: immortal whumpee, multiple whumpers, mention of past torture, blood, stabbing, restraints, minimal swearing, whumper-turned-whumpee I guess??, whumpee-turned-whumper except There's Two Of Them Now™, slight manhandling maybe?? I don't know??, slight degradation. view with caution!!

(note: Foster (whumper) uses they/them. all other ocs mentioned (Rayan (whumpee) and Ezra (whumper) use he/him. Also note I have no clue what I'm doing, so some of this may not be accurate lmao)

- - - - - - - >

I had tried to cut the bonds long ago.

Ever since I had first acknowledged your pathetic little band of "survivors" hunting for my very head, I had tried to block contact with you — or anyone you knew, for that matter. I changed my phone number, multiple times, may I add, I considered moving to live with my sister and her fiancee, hell, I would've altered my identity entirely or even gon into hiding if I hadn't been told I was probably overreacting. But I wasn't, was I? Time and time again, I had tried to steer myself away from danger, but time and time again, you persisted. You wanted to make my life utterly miserable. And, I hate to admit this, but you succeeded.

But I could tell from that smug smile of yours that you knew damn well of this, and you relished in the fear in my eyes. I could tell from the scalpels, and knives, and bats, and hammers, and other godforsaken weapons you held in the very same basement you held me in that you would stop at nothing to inflict pain upon me. To give me a taste of my own medicine. You're all just kids with saviour complexes, aren't you? Pathetic.

Our pathways along life are forever intertwined. Though, mine may or may not be mixed with the blood of not only my victims, but of myself. Of guilt that weighs down on my heart, of burdens I am forced to carry on my now fragile shoulders. You have reduced me to a mess of a man. My very being is scarred and bruised from your relentless, merciless torture. I would say I deserve it — I did torture you all first, after all — but I'm not that harsh upon myself, now am I?

I despise you all. Though, I can tell from the disdain and disgust you try to conceal behind those grins and smirks that the feeling is mutual. We're all antagonists in the same story, only lacking a protagonist or better side of the story to oppose. I would say said side is, in fact, each other, but none of us can be deemed as good.

Despite all this, I remain in one piece. I have been humiliated, abused, drowned, suffocated, stabbed, bruised, cut, choked, starved, deprived of both sleep and my own senses. Though, somehow, I am still alive. Perhaps it's just sheer luck making my heart continue to beat, or maybe, just maybe, there's something more complex, more.. supernatural going on. Alas, you'll have to find that out on your own. Some secrets are best to be kept to yourself, after all.

- - - - - - - >

"You should be dead by now," Foster mused with a smirk that Rayan knew oh-so-well. "I stabbed you in the aorta minutes ago, yet you're still alive."

"Oh, yeah? And since when were you a medical expert?" Rayan spat back, craning his head to glare up at his captor. The latter merely chuckled humorlessly at that, guiding Rayan's chin back to face the wall, holding his jaw down with a vice-like grip. Their other hand was rested on his shoulder, which would most definitely leave a bloodstained handprint on his clothes — not that it mattered, anyway. Rayan squinted and stared at the wall before closing his eyes — well, more eye now; Ezra decided it'd be an oh-so-wonderful idea to slash a knife across Rayan's face, leaving him blind in one eye and in immense agony, as he described it himself — trying to ignore the flare of pain in his stomach and the press of ropes against his skin.

"This is boring," he eventually heard Ezra, speak of the devil, complain, his Texan accent cutting through the uncomfortable silence which had begun to linger in the basement. "Why don't we just.. kill him now? Leaving him alive'll do us no good."

"Be patient, Ezra." Foster leaned forward to Rayan's height almost mockingly and rested their head on his shoulder, the sudden proximity making the latter flinch. They smirked and added: "After all, leaving it alive means we can toy with it more, okay?"

Foster knew that would strike a nerve. Rayan absolutely despised degradation of any variety; they knew that perfectly well. Their smirk grew wider at the sight of Rayan's body stiffening and tensing, restrained hands balling into fists under the ropes, speaking through gritted teeth. "Don't you fucking dare."

Foster pouted sarcastically, patting Rayan's shoulder before stalking away. "Well, we'd best get going for now. Staying here is gonna make me die of boredom."

Rayan had his eyes closed still, so he couldn't see what they were doing, other than the fact he knew they were exiting the basement. His eyebrows furrowed in suspicion as he heard incoherent mumbles from in front of him, before hearing footsteps advance upon him. He had no time to react as he was stabbed once more, only letting out a strangled gasp, eyes shooting open.

Ezra's laugh startled him. "Never fails to make me laugh." He said, before twisting the knife in the wound, causing a small cry of pain from Rayan. He laughed again. Even Foster managed a light chuckle.

Ezra had opted to just leave the knife in the wound, which caused much more discomfort for Rayan. But it's not like he could care. Foster and him eventually left, even shutting off the lights in the basement as if Rayan wasn't actually there. Or, maybe as if Rayan wasn't a person, as if he were an item of furniture they had discarded.

Rayan managed a small scoff when he knew they were out of hearing range, rolling his eyes. "They're so fucking stupid..." He muttered, watching the wound on his body heal unnaturally quickly, the blood already beginning to dry out. They had all tried to kill him more times than he had counted, and all attempts had been unsuccessful. It was only a matter of time until they find out — it's inevitable, after all. Rayan just needs to use the amount of time he has left with his secret to his advantage.

[museenkuss]

Sorry if you've already answered this but bro can I ask wtf happened to shipping and incest? Like I have been around in fandoms for a long time now and I swear the change between shipping siblings and it being what helps dictate you are vile human happened like whiplash for me. One moment it was fine and another moment you were getting death threats for daring to treat Loki and Thor as more than siblings even though the mcu fandom was sorta chill with it for years. I'm not saying EVERYONE was ok with shipping siblings (like no one should judge you for that lol) but it WAS tolerated for a long time. What happened??? I felt like purity culture sneak up on me. Now shipping incest gets thrown in with 'wrong things that help show you are a bad person' such as a being pedo (no one is defending that hopefully...). I suppose I'm not trying ask if it's moral or not (it's shipping), but more so what the fuck happened and if I should feel guilty and bad about enjoying those types of ships?? Are they truly in the same line as liking gross pedo ships?? Apologies for if this ask stirs trouble, I am just genuinely confused about what happened and why the tolerance for those ships dropped so low and you get called a demon for doing so (everyone knows incest is bad, no one was ever agreeing it wasn't but none of it was real. It was just literally fun...)

You're really summarising some of my own thoughts and questions on the matter. Honestly, I wasn't actively involved in fandom back in 2013 or so, but I recently noticed that same change as well! For example, for the longest time I wasn't even aware that people were opposed to the Thor&Loki ship based on the incest factor and the most contact I had with wincest at the time was a gif set where apparently someone asked JP during a con what he thought of it and he said "I don't think they think it's real, it's just a hot fantasy" - I remember that post so vividly because I saw it and went "yeah, makes sense" and went back to my 2014 posting. In 2020, my first introduction to the spn fandom was a BLOCK LIST with blogs who post wincest content. A BLOCK LIST?! that was so absurd and laughable and honestly made me feel so bad about fandom in general. So, yeah. I definitely agree with you, there has been a huge shift in fandom culture as to what is seen as "approptiate shipping behaviour".

Firstly: I do of course understand why people might be uncomfortable with the topic. I understand that it can be triggering, too. This makes this topic a complicated and layered one, but I don't think it means we should erase the theme from all pieces of fiction. I also don't think making others feel miserable, sending death threads or other witch hunts of the sort to strangers on the internet is justified in ANY way. Now as for your questions —

What happened? Honestly, no idea. I wonder if it's a side effect of websites being made more and more "kid friendly", banning nudity and swear words and all that to appeal to advertisers. Maybe the kids being raised in this environment adopt those mind sets? I'm not sure.

Should you feel guilty for enjoying those kinds of ships? Absolutely not. Incest can be a very interesting trope for many reasons - it can be used in gothic settings, it can be used as a "forbidden love" trope, etc. Some people make it a point to say that they like it but ONLY if those stories are dark and evil and metaphors for abuse etc, they're not like those nasty creatures who think it's "hot". But, honestly, I always get back to JP and his nonchalant reaction. "It's a hot fantasy", and voilà. I don't like it when people insist on feeling shame or - even worse - making others feel shame for meaningless things like that.

Which brings me to the idea that enjoying incest ships (for whatever reason, be it because the relationship is intricate, rotten and terrible or because it'd be hot) makes you a bad person - that's ridiculous. "Incest harms real people", yes. So does murder. I hope we're not using this logic to hunt down everyone who likes fictional murderers. Enjoying a specific dynamic in fiction does not mean you would encourage this behaviour in real life. It also doesn't mean you'd put anyone in real life in danger or hurt them. It means you enjoy this specific dynamic for one reason or another, that's all. So please, don't make yourself feel miserable for something like this.

There is also the fact that incest porn (as in, real porn where real people are filmed acting out fantasies for other people to get off to) is so incredibly popular. In the logic of the purity culture fandom people (who seem to ignore this fact and focus on random people drawing or writing about fictional people btw), this would mean that many, MANY men (who those videos are usually aimed at) secretly want to fuck their siblings, step mothers, etc. I sincerely doubt that that's the case. Instead, I think it's a sign that sexuality is very complex and we can't just narrow it down to "you think this is hot = you're evil rotten and morally corrupted"

I also have to bring up one last point: This shift in culture is not limited to fandom, although fandom people seem to be extremely loud and ruthless about this with their witch hunts. I've seen people act this way about Lolita by Nabokov and other pieces of literature, for example. Frankly, it's embarrassing to see. It's sad, too. Can people not interact with fiction anymore? Not every piece of fiction is meant as a moral indicator, we aren't 10 anymore and not every piece of art has to be Dr Seuss or Aesop.

This got very long and I don't want to get too off track, so to sum up: I don't think you should feel guilty for enjoying incest ships or themes in fiction. Really, that's your personal business and not anyone else's - and I mean that in a positive way.

I hope we as a culture grow out of this phase soon and we can all go back to having a relaxed, healthy approach to shipping/fandom/literature/art by avoiding what we dislike and focusing on what we enjoy.