#and i really liked the direction my art has taken this year... lots of things 2 work on but its better than last year :)

[crescentfool]

oops, all persona 3! art summary for 2022, thank you to everyone for all of the kind words and support! cheers to another year of fun art experiments and drawing things that i enjoy 💛💙

[olderthannetfic]

Sending this to you specifically because I feel like you're the only normal brained person about this series.

I read Captive Prince a couple of years ago and liked it fine, as someone who doesn't have a strong preference for or against m/m and therefore isn't well-versed enough in its clichés to notice whether it reads like something full of cliché fanfic tropes. I really liked the use of language, some of the historical/political stuff, some of the ways that the characters are made complicated or unreliable.

The problem is, I've since coincidentally read most of the books that were Pacat's inspiration and. Well. Like 80-90% of the stuff in there has direct parallels in one of those. I'm not sure if there are more than three original thoughts in there.

I am not joking, if you read 1. The Lymond Chronicles and House of Niccolò by Dorothy Dunnett; 2. The Nightrunner series by Lynn Flewelling and 3. The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, you will find that some of the scenes were ripped off beat for beat, many jokes were taken and just lazily reworded, a lot of the character beats and arcs are at best a mashup of 2 or maximum 3 things from those books with the serial numbers filed off really poorly. There's a scene where some characters discover a suicide victim whose structure and descriptions are completely ripped off from another series, except Pacat fails to see what made the original scene so impactful. A lot of the pretty use of language is also directly copied from those, including some really really specific descriptors. It's so blatant!

And I don't see how people are okay with this! I know people who are fans of several of these works and they're totally cool with it! And honestly if it were some rando's unpublished original project I'd be cool with it too, but as a published beloved worldwide phenomenon with rabid fans? C'mon.

And another thing is, all of the other series mentioned above are balls to the wall insane. She just... she just made it bland. She took off most of the edge and reshuffled the elements into a fairly straightforward MLM love story with some light kink thrown in. It's not a BAD series, but I feel like I'm disappointed that someone read all my favourite books and THAT was their takeaway?

--

I started reading, got to the name of the series and burst out laughing.

And, wow, you brought up something totally new that I hadn't thought about! I'm impressed. Genuinely. Usually, I rant about all the reasons I hate the series while debunking the standard anti talking points.

--

I've read the Vampire Chronicles, but that was in the 90s and I read Captive Prince in like 2016 or after. I had zero recollection of common points. I haven't read The Lymond Chronicles despite years of hurt/comfort fans bugging me to do so, and I think I got like a chapter into the Nightrunner series before getting distracted...

The reason I found Captive Prince annoying and derivative is that it also reads exactly like the original m/m that was available when it was first being written, most notably the work of P.L. Nunn who was extremely famous for horny fan art but who also wrote some original m/m fantasy novels. The scene where they finally bone reminds me heavily of the one from... uh... what's the P.L. Nunn one where the prince creeps on that archer dude and he gets raped because of course and then the prince has to be ~patient~ and it's peak boring 2000s rape recovery tropes?

The rape backstory is not only lifted from Fushigi Yuugi (the author's fandom at the time) but is shared with basically 100% of original m/m from that era. It's sometimes the uncle, sometimes the stepfather. One single time that I can think of, it was the foster brother, but mostly it's that "funny uncle" type. Unless it's gang rape from a bad Gundam Wing fic. That was also everywhere.

Once somebody told me the author had previously shipped Tamahome/Nakago, I realized that they'd taken what would be a kind of unusual anime ship and made it a thousand times more boring by dumbing down the scary, tall general with the tragic backstory into an uke-appropriate waif.

So I guess what I'm saying is that there may be some inspiration you aren't familiar with, but it's the same story as what you said above: this is the blander remix.

--

As for why people are okay with this... honestly, most of the people who really adore the series whom I've talked to point to how it encapsulates the exact tropes and tone they loved in anime fic circa 2000.

As a fellow weeb, I loathed the tone of said anime fic circa 2000 and could not wait for tastes to change, so Captive Prince is a hideous blast from an unlamented past for me.

I think most people who love the series aren't familiar with its inspirations. Those that are may have consumed them quite a while ago and don't realize quite how direct the parallels are. Or, for the inspirations that aren't overtly canon m/m, the lure of it being Exactly Right may overshadow other things.

(They also mostly haven't read 90s fantasy doorstops that actually contain political intrigue, tactics and strategy. Captive Prince is a piss poor entry into this genre and should be recced for m/m, not this other stuff people constantly think is in there. None of these characters can reason their way out of a paper bag.)

More than any of that, there's a lot of love left over from when the series was a serialized original story on Livejournal in an era when we had vanishingly few original m/m works, especially long ones in a fantasy alternate world.

I think that is what gets it a pass when a new m/m novel presented as "m/m romance" or posted on one of the webnovel sites would be mocked for unoriginality. Many Captive Prince fans aren't (or weren't when they read it) all that familiar with the smorgasbord of original m/m available today. Many are unfamiliar with anime fanfic circa 2000, so this feels adjacent to the fic they've read but a little fresher... instead of like the week-old sardine tin I found it to be.

[caustinen]

Loving your Hollywood Clegan AU so much!

Curious though...how do they transition when their relationship becomes public? Are there any issues with fan backlash? Or being an openly gay actor? What about the increased paparazzi attention or stalkerish fans? :O

Hello lovely person!! As usual this got a bit long but I hope it answers the question a bit at least 😂💘

To start off with, I usually reimagine my fics in worlds that don’t have homophobia because I personally don’t enjoy writing it/making it a plot point, there’s so much amazing art in all forms dealing with it that it doesn’t feel like trying to erase a very real problem/ignore it because obviously it unfortunately is a big part of queer experience for a lot of people, it’s just that I like to imagine worlds where that isn’t a factor just so there’s also places to escape that, esp in silly fanfiction that I write – that’s what I also enjoy to read as a queer person myself! So while it would definitely give this au a lot of depth, I’m at least not right now including that in these replies <3

As for the other stuff, I have not thought about it a lot even though these should be kinda the main questions for this au… So let’s think about it!

Paparazzi – John dislikes paparazzi as much as anyone but Gale despises them. He finds it a bit invasive but kind of a “part of the job” con for John and later their relationship in the public when it happens when arriving to/leaving events, but when he first catches someone taking his picture while leaving the gym or his office he gets very antsy. This creates some tensions for a bit as John understands his stress but also feels like they talked about it beforehand and now he can’t really do anything about it. When they’re out together and they spot paparazzi John always tries to block Gale from the sight, pull him behind himself or guide them some other way. They love to travel and it’s also easier to avoid being spotted when they’re away from LA/New York. It’s bad for the first few months but eventually the attention on them eases up a bit and they can go back to the new normal with only occasional encounters with the paparazzi; Gale also grows more accustomed to it and knows how to dress to and act to hide & make it a bit less intense.

Fan backlash – I think this would be an interesting thing to explore. Even though a lot of the fans are just happy for John, there are also some who have become too parasocial/illusioned about him after being fans for years (and he is a heartthrob and charming and widely accepted as “boyfriend material”) that they get upset when the relationship is revealed, starting to talk shit on social media about John never having been genuine and has only been lying to his fans meaning he never actually cared about them, and through that getting to insult his work and that they only went to see it because he’s hot but now it’s ruined. John was also shipped with a lot of his previous castmates and some shippers are also upset and saying he “setteled” for Gale who’s “just an ordinary office worker” when he could’ve had a flashy Hollywood Romance – while many see his fiancés shyness and soft-spokeness in public as adorable, some say he doesn’t match John’s vibe at all, and the fact that John also seems different with him is not a good thing and they start to psychoanalyze their relationship. John couldn’t care less for some angry comments on his insta but some of the hate is directed towards Gale, and he’s a bit taken aback when he starts to receive DM’s telling him to leave John immediately and accusing him of manipulating him into a relationship with “someone like him”. John is obviously very upset by all of this but Gale reminds him that he’s seen it all at work and can handle himself.

Stalkers – The other extreme of Gale haters would then be the people who get like way into him real fast, he’s beloved by the masses, sure, but these people are more like a cult (probably of the similar style of fan as the one’s who turn against John in the previous point, like highkey parasocial behavior but when John starts to date publicly it’s like “no, he’s OUR boyfriend” but not in a funny way you know). The line is blurred to some people what it means that John revealed he has a partner, it’s not a ”new part of him” but a real person of his own that happens to be dating their favorite actor, and this gets lost on some people who start to treat him almost like he was Bucky’s pet (idk if this makes any sense but like as if he was just a cute little thing he can post pics about and doesn’t really have an agency of their own AND the fans feel like they ”know him” when they actually know nothing about him except that he’s dating their idol). Gale’s not expecting to get any “fans” of his own, so he’s a bit weary when he’s asked to take pics with people without John or given stuff on red carpets etc, and especially when people really cross boundaries and try to gift him/them like condoma or sex toys or lingerie (I’m thinking of that one interview where they showed Austin his fan merch and there was the thong with his face on it and I’m thinking someone gifting a similar one of Bucky to him and him being absolutely horrified) or something else kinda projecting their own fantasies into them, or playing it off as a joke while it’s actually really distrurbing — just because they’re out doesn’t mean the relationship opened for other people to comment on. Then of course there’s just the usual internet hellhole-stuff, people start sending him really inappropriate messages about his body/looks/what they’d want to do to him given the chance that he maybe didn’t expect because he doesn’t believe John when he tells him that’s like notably attractive. I could also imagine for example a moment where someone approaches them when they’re leaving an event or something and Gale is being professional and polite but the other person is really overstaying their welcome/not following social cues but talking to him like a friend would and when John tries to politely lead them onwards the “fan” grabs Gale’s arm or something and it causes a small scene. Gale is stressed in these situations mostly because he fears how they’ll reflect on John’s image if he’s presented as being rude to fans but luckily these are rare occasions.

Despite all of this, they both are happy that the relationship is public, there are more pros than cons for being able to build their future together without having to be each others dirty little secrets (idk why but it came to my mind now that Gale is so the type that since he couldn’t always tell people he had a partner, everyone would either hit on him or try to match him with someone because “how is someone that pretty single?!” and this would annoy the hell out of Bucky despite him being the one with millions of options at any given moment, i like some jealous bucky :D)

Hope this was satisfactory!! Any more ideas to these scenarios? I’m so used to doing just fluff/smut so this was a fun challenge, thank you! <3

[agendabymooner]

i think he knows ! lando n. x ofc (alessandro sister!writer!ofc)

"he got the boyish look that i like in a man."

summary: nicola alessandro released a novel under the pen name 'grazie nichols' and everyone made sure that the fans are supporting her. lando norris could do anything but be subtle about the things he knew, and the novel's inspo was one of those things.

content warning: possible use of explicit language, appearance of other fictional characters (hearth sisters, lester ricciardo, etc), dirty jokes (no smut), ofc and lando being menaces, ofc being obsessed with lando, fans trying to come up with theories, ofc's account is private (colabebe)

note: (time check: 12:25 am) i'm sorry i dipped out 😭 a lot happened yesterday: i hung out with the guy (it was awkward lol) went to see the barbie movie with my sister then had a sangria after- i was planning to post something when i got home but apparently i'm a lightweight and was knocked out after. let me know what you think!!! anyway enjoy xx

ps. yes the graphics in here are stuff that i made hehe sorry if they're awful but these are just some last minute shit i made xx

masterlist

tagged grazienichols

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, arthurleclerc

user1 new booktok rec??

user2 the grid is literally hyping this up 😭 is it that good

user3 MORE FORMULA ONE BOOKS!!!

user4 my wallet: empty

user5 me rn: trying to determine which driver relates to the man in the book the most 🧐

user6 bets on leclerc

user7 hmmm i think its more like estie? he's giving muse

user8 it could be yuki ???

user9 i agree user6 it's most likely shal bc that man is book bf material

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, danielricciardo

danielricciardo i don't blame them; this book is a bomb ass book 😉 liked by grazienichols

grazienichols 🤪

user1 grazie stop emptying my wallet challenge 🤐

grazienichols 😶 sorry xx

user2 making money just to get to monaco gp- gurl i don't blame you 😭

grazienichols it's getting more expensive as years go on 🥶

f1 monaco gp you say??? 👀

user3 she's making money already just toss the ticket in us broke people's direction 🙃

user4 yeah what she said ^^

tagged charles_leclerc, loricciardo, estebanocon and 7 other people

liked by colabebe, danielricciardo, arthurleclerc

user1 isn't lester pregnant??? why is she bent like that on the 7th photo? 😭

user2 lester can do things us mere humans can't

alex_albon i am appalled liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg i can't put too much photos sorry lad

alex_albon i'll remember this.

user3 lando fed us with the hearth sisters content at the slides 2, 4 and 6 and i've never felt this loved since my ex &lt;3

user4 gurl 💀 u good

user5 ESTIE BESTIEEEE 😩 i might bust a lil gimme a sec to chill

user6 the sisters in blue 🤤

user7 who's the third photo?

user8 lester's youngest sister, nicola

danielricciardo loricciardo 🤨 what're u doing?

loricciardo protecting baby ric 😳 liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg by flattening his head? 😟

loricciardo you just reduced my standing time and increased my bedrest time lando.jpg thx

lando.jpg what 😭 what's gonna happen if you're in bedrest? is the baby's head going to inflate back to place??

danielricciardo landonorris lad. that's not how it works.

arthurleclerc colabebe that pink is nice asf

colabebe thank you art!!! nice seeing you!!!

user9 uhhhhh?!!! arthur and daniel's in-law?

georgerussell63 why am i not there??? 🧐

lando.jpg my bad- i didn't really want you to take of your shirt in the middle of the ballroom hall. not really your night tonight mate.

user10 where is toto?!!!

lando.jpg god love him but he already has enough photo taken by his own wife. give others some chance to make it to my jpg account

user10 understood king 🤌

sylvieeford no max?? he really pissed you off 😹 liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg yeah, and keep on reminding him that. maybe he'd apologize for once 🙄

landonorris posted a story !!!

tagged landonorris

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, nora_alessandro

danielricciardo my favourite italian-british couple (no offense nora but i don't like georgerussell63 that much) liked by colabebe

nora_alessandro 😒😒

georgerussell63 you're not my favourite aussie either mate 😉

landonorris god gave me an equally obsessed gf and i love him for it liked by colabebe

colabebe just him??? 💔

landonorris me when you: 💗😩😳🤤

colabebe ❤️‍🩹

landonorris look at her

landonorris shes so pretty omg whats her @

oscarpiastri your simp looking ass is getting more obvious

colabebe 🤨 not my fault u don't get bitches 🤡

oscarpiastri do you wanna fight or wha 🤬

colabebe i deadlegged you last time and you ate shit so idk if thats even a question

oscarpiastri landonorris ur rat is at it again

landonorris hey man, that's my simp. leave her alone

mateoales throwing up

landonorris ratio + take L + didn't ask

colabebe cry + whine + sob + complain

mateoales you two are so mean when ur together

[swangtup6]

Mixtape Review: Sematary & Ghost Mountain - Hundred Acre Wrist (2020)

For ppl who somehow don't know, Sematary has been a pretty popular (relatively) underground rapper for the last couple years, known for mixing black metal, witch house, and old Chicago drill with a super cool aesthetic with influences from horror movies, esoteric-themes, and the occult, with a lighthearted and humorous side to it as well. I've been a fan of Sematary since mid-2021, and Hundred Acre Wrist, largely regarded within the fanbase as his best release (though I still think his Warboy EP deserves that title), has finally clicked for me. Let's discuss.

The first thing that stands out to me about this mixtape when I listen to it is the production. Most Sematary beats follow a certain formula: black metal sample or witch house synths with drum patterns ripped straight from Yung Chop layered on them, that are very repetitive and often have lots of beat chops, especially during the choruses. However, Hundred Acre Wrist takes these general ideas in a completely different direction, and cranks them up to 11. The production on Hundred Acre Wrist is of a totally different nature than Sematary's other work, it relies on NO sampling as far as I know (I believe I've heard that Ghost Mountain played most of the guitar found in the mixtape) (I could be wrong abt allat tho) and is instead a complex layer of etheral synth melodies, original guitar riffing, and complex and fast-paced drumming with heavy influence from drill, but taken in a different direction, with busier patterns and more complex rhythms. If you listen closely, with a good sound system, you can actually hear forest ambience and nature sound effects looping throughout the mixtape, furthering the natural vibe and atmospheric elements of the production.

The next thing is probably the atmosphere. As I touched on in the production paragraph, this mixtape has an incredibly strong atmosphere (and is insanely consistent quality-wise) without sounding too same-y. A common (and somewhat warranted) complaint I've heard a lot about Sematary's older stuff is that it's just one song over and over again, and listening to a tape like RB1, I can kinda hear that (I love RB1 though). Hundred Acre Wrist doesn't have this problem, every song is distinct. But they do all keep a very consistent atmosphere. This mixtape is in the forest, it's deer that don't look quite right, it's watching horror movies at a sleepover that you're definitely too young to be watching, it's scary stories you heard around a fire at summer camp, it's being 13 and trying DXM for the first time (we all did it don't lie), it's a fusion of all these kind of innocuous themes and vibes that, when combined, make a super cool and complete world, like an alternate reality, that you kind of sink into when listening to the album. Pay attention to the lyrics, trust me. Some of them are pretty goofy, but that's just a part of it.

Speaking of the lyrics, they are definitely what made this project click for me. I'd never really listened to what they were saying in the lyrics, but once I did I actually started appreciating this release for what it is. Sematary is amazing (especially on Heffalumps and Taxidermy) but I kinda feel like this is the one time where he takes a bit of a backseat to Ghost Mountain. Ghost Mountain has some HARD verses here, I'm gonna put screenshots of some of my favorite lines from both artists below. It's kind of amazing to me that nobody thought to combine the themes found here, and in most of Sematary's early music, before, but at the same time It kind of makes sense. Nobody else could do this in a million years, this is a genuinely unique piece of art.

This whole verse from Ghost Mountain is just so fucking eerie sounding, his voice has an almost paranormal feel to it that makes the strange and unique lyrics stand out. If you can't appreciate the artistry in this shit, don't say shit about music to me. (Tourniquet)

This is one of Sematary's hypest moments. When this clicked for me, I was playing Roblox and this shit made me turn off Roblox and rewind the song because of how fucking crazy it is. (Taxidermy)

Ghost Mountain's flow on this section is crazy. Just looking at the lyrics you wouldn't think this would work rhyme-wise but it does. (Johnny Cutter)

Both of them go so crazy on this song (Deer God). Nobody else could fuckin do this man, I don't know what to tell you.

Overall, this is just a super cool and creative work of art that deserves its flowers. There's a lot of really unique experimentation on here. What other underground rap mixtape are you gonna hear an acoustic folk song and a Q-Lazzarus cover? Sematary and Ghost Mountain took a LOT of risks on here, all of which paid off, and I think they reached the peak of their combined artistry. PLEASE listen to this.

9.9 / 10

Standout Tracks: Taxidermy, Deer God

btw did yall fw the pictures?

[sthormiiii]

What do you like and don’t like about Aaravos ?

omgomg ty for the question i love talking about my man!!!

(this came out wayy longer than i imagined whoops)

okok so.

the things i love about aaravos are many. starting from the obvious, his design!! he is so so pretty i love startouch elves designs in general (all the concept art in the art of the dragon prince made me lose my mind!!) and also the fact you can get a lot about him from his design, like how he changed after he fell and the way he lost many of his accessories which probably represented his status in startouch society- AND THE BLACK HOLE IN HIS CHEST PROBABLY REPRESENTING HIS HEART???? like, he LITERALLY LOST HIS HEART?????

thennn, we go on his personality! that man suffered for CENTURIES, he had to witness so Much Stuff. he got through so much trauma and lost everyone who he ever cared about. but does that bother him? i mean, yes ofc it does...but despise all of it, he still keeps up his silly personality! and manages to still be himself :33

the thing is, my interpretation of aaravos's character is probably very personal, and most of the things i think about him are from my own headcanons, but!!!! we know he is inspired from prometheus, giving humans magic despise the gods (other elves and dragons) didnt want them to have it. but he still did it. he helped them out when they were struggling, and because of it he got punished.

thats the thing!! he loved humans SO MUCH he couldn't help but help them, even if he knew it would get him in trouble.his love for humans, for magic, for xadia, its what keeps him going, he wants to be free and be able to see xadia again, to see the sky, and feel the grass under his feet! him pre-fall was just,, so so filled with love for everything around him

now.

clearly, he also did some really fucked up stuff (like swallowing killing adidi and probably also luna tenebris) he isn't completely good or completely bad. he's in between and everything he does he does it for a reason which he believes is the right one-

rn hes a psycho, he spent 300 years in isolation and he is full of anger and just wants to see the world burn😞😞 he lost everything and everyone and yes hes the villain rn,, but he still has all that love inside of him. his love for humans...for magic...his need to feel someone, anyone by his side, to know hes not alone- him trying to help viren in s5 (in his own fucked up way) shows that he still cares☹️☹️

so yeah, i just- love complex characters!

now, the things I don't like- this is a hard choice bc i honestly love all his flaws too?? but i would say i dont like how the show handles him lmao.

i could talk about this for hours, but to make it simple i think they are totally wasting his character here. like. we're never going to fully see aaravos in all his shades bc

1) we dont have time for all that

2) even if they somehow manage to give us a glimpse of all the pain and suffering he carries on his back,, i think its a bit too late to make the viewers completely emphasise with him

the whole mystery of aaravos arc should have taken a different direction imo. but desides that, i still love the show sm and i cant wait to see more!!

god i love talking about him.

[sibyl-of-space]

oOOOOooohhhhhhhh i get it now. i have Identified the Problem that has caused the most recent amadeus-related crisis/spiral/whatever you want to call it.

there are 5-ish "roles" that i have taken on as a solo dev:

project manager

musician/sound director

programmer/implementation engineer

writer/narrative lead

artist/art director

and for each i THOUGHT i had figured out how to tackle them.

project management: I've had some experience managing collaborative projects (GBA collab album, mystery jam game), I also solicited advice from other indie devs I met at Seattle Indies Expo, and I *also* applied what I learned about how we manage projects in facilities at my day job using Asana and have applied that to Amadeus. I very consciously treated this as a skill to learn and taking that specific skill seriously has helped a lot.

music: ...I straight up went to grad school for this. I took like a billion units every semester so I could learn as much as possible about composition AND mixing/production. This is the one thing I actually have a strong background in. I have the skillset and I also have People I can ask for feedback and advice. The music is lowkey going to carry this whole project.

programming: I went into this knowing full well I have exactly One semester of Unity/C# under my belt and have no idea what I am doing. I have experience learning basic HTML and JavaScript and have reverse engineered most of Ghost Trick's code via ROMhacking, so I have a sort of janky skillset, but it's very amateur and I knew that. I have asked SO many questions to people who are more experienced. KNOWING that this is my weakest suit has let me ask for help when I need it, and also accept that even the most polished possible form of this game is still going to be jank as fuck. That's fine. My #vision will still come through.

writing: the whole reason I set aside an entire month to just focus on the Mystery Jam game was because I knew I needed more experience writing, and specifically writing mystery. I've spoiled the whole game to two different people who have writing experience in order to bounce ideas and get feedback. I've asked for workflow advice from a third person with writing experience. Identifying this as a weakness has helped me focus on improving it, and because of that I am really happy with where it's at right now.

Which leads us to....

...art.

My problem with art is that as of about 2 years ago, I was much more confident in my art than I was in basically anything else except music, because I have drawn stuff my whole life and have a shitload of informal practice at it. So I focused very heavily on the other stuff that was very obviously a weakness.

But, as we approach the final months of Go Time to finish the first episode... I'm like, hm, it turns out that the art and art direction of a visual novel are kind of important.

I *like* all of the assets I've drawn for the currently existing demo, but there are specific things about the overall look I don't quite like, and there is a specific metanarrative Thing that I have been trying to evoke with what I'm doing visually and I feel like sticking to that is at odds with making assets that look and "feel" right.

Basically I haven't really thought as much about art direction as I should have since finishing the demo because I kinda figured I could coast on the fact I consider myself a pretty good artist. I can make things that look Nice. But now that I've worked hard at my other areas of weaknesses, the fact I haven't really sat down with my art direction in the past 4-5 months is really starting to become obvious.

All this to say.

My "assignment" for this afternoon is to sit outside listening to all the tracks I've written (including new WIP ones no one but me has heard yet CUZ THEYRE AWESOME im SO excited about the new tracks im writing for this) and reading through my revised narrative with certain finalized plot points and concepts, and just sketching out visually what the game Should Look Like. I am almost certain I can still use the assets I've already drawn, like the sprites and backgrounds and icons and such, but I may edit them differently, or add to them, or otherwise change something about them. I just need to make some choices because I'm feeling stuck and I need to get un-stuck if I am going to finish this game AND I AM DETERMINED TO DO SO.

[goodluckclove]

Things You Might Want to Know

So I recently realized that I spend most of my time here talking and forming relationships with young creatives, and that might look weird in a vacuum. Especially since it's something I plan to continue doing along with all my other machinations.

So I thought I'd give some information about myself all in one place. It's more than I might need to give, but it might put someone at ease.

My name is Clover Gardener, and I'm in my late 20s. I am an Agender individual in an asexual marriage and I'm in the process of medically transitioning. Currently I work as an author, but I have experience in technical writing, ghostwriting, social media management, food service and administrative work. Oh and theater. I worked backstage for some community theater productions. These are all like Employment Jobs I've Had to Include On My Taxes, but I've also done more short term gig work/weird jobs that didn't work out. I dropped out of college.

At 16 my first one-act play was produced. I proceeded to form a small youth theater troupe just out of high school where I wrote, directed, and produced three full length plays at festivals and other venues. I also took a play I wrote at like 19 and got invited to a reading at the Last Frontier Theater Festival in Valdez, Alaska a year later.

In regards to writing, I completed my first novel when I was 13 after only making it through a fifth of NaNoWriMo the year before. I've completed 11-14 novels since then. I honestly can't really remember at this point. Only maybe four of them left the first draft stage. One novel, Blind Trust, is self-published online. I also have a few short stories available in online literary journals. At one point I had an arts column on a small culture website but they're harder to find now.

I have taken three writing classes at varying points in my life and didn't find them helpful other than as an opportunity to keep practicing writing and maybe get some good feedback.

In terms of interacting with young people, there was actually a six year period of my life that was primarily dedicated to youth mentorship and advocacy - specifically for queer, neurodivergent, and abused youth, a lot of whom were passionate about the arts. I was way less stable enough to do it then compared to now, but I tried my very best. Supporting young artists and queer youth has been an intense passion for mine since I was 14.

It's my ultimate dream in life to form some sort of youth empowerment program in the arts, or at least a writing program where everyone is respected regardless of age or experience. I'm kind of working towards making that happen. I just want to see how accessible I can make it as opposed to doing something just within my city.

Anywho, those are my general qualifications for talking to teens about writing and creativity. I also have a full history of trauma and disability, but this seems slightly less important to talk about here.

I will say though that if you are a person, of any age frankly, who is ever looking to compare notes or seek support or guidance on anything mentioned above, my DMs are always open. You can also email me at luckyclovegardener@gmail.com if you'd like. I like getting emails and I would love to gain new perspectives.

[tleeaves]

Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine - how it would have ended

Hello, folks! As some of you already know or have heard me mention previously, my TLH fanfic WBITHOM is coming to an end. I am no longer comfortable with it being in the public eye since it involves a lot of personal stuff for me, and so I have decided to delete the fic entirely on every platform it's been published on (that's Quotev, AO3, and Wattpad) rather than rewrite the entire thing. This will also finally give me the chance to focus on other written works. Maybe I'll return to fandom with a rewrite one day for anyone interested, but for now, the future is dedicated to other things. The fic will be deleted in 48 hours, so readers on Quotev and AO3 have a chance to download the unfinished fic if they so desire before then or just have one last read. I ask that no one rewrites or adds an ending to my fic and publishes it anywhere without my knowledge and permission. Never put an author's work through AI either. I still have several copies of my fanfic and its outline, so I will always have evidence of where the story comes from.

WBITHOM is a monster, with the master document coming to well over 150,000 words and the fic so far being ~146,000 words (the entire outline and all my notes makes up over 4,000 words, yes). I predict that, had I finished the fic, it would come close to 188,000 words (so, there was a decent ways to go still). It's the biggest thing I've attempted, but because of that, it is also the most time-consuming (it's been almost a year and a half of writing, and each chapter either takes two full days to write or weeks) and it takes up the most space in my head, not really leaving room for the other ideas I want to explore.

So, as someone suggested, I thought I'd give readers who were hoping to see the fic to its proper end some closure. That's what this post is for: how it would have ended. Along the way, I'll explain some things too about recurring themes and motifs and all manner of behind the scenes and thoughts behind my ideas.

Character Arc Summaries

As readers know, this story follows the characters of Lila Raftis, James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs, and Matthew Fairchild. They're all the most significant figures, though we do see other perspectives and side characters too. Essentially, Lila Raftis struggles with loneliness due to a myriad of other issues she has to work through, and James Herondale's arc starts with his depression and turns into a journey to authenticity where he feels like his own person and not just what he has been written or expected to be. Cordelia Carstairs' physical state of being lost extends to how lost she is within, and she ends realising that she has been continuously defining herself through other people. I see her as leaving London and the love triangle with James and (unconfessed) Matthew (and Lila) to deconstruct a lot of the ideals she was trying to live up to and why. As for Matthew Fairchild, I made the deliberate decision for him to turn into a werewolf and have that separation from Shadowhunter society so that he could pursue the arts and build a better life that he would find more satisfaction with, also eventually becoming sober. I took inspiration from his time at the academy, particularly when he turns to Lila in one of the earlier acts and asks if it's so bad to not be a Shadowhunter. At first, he regrets turning, but I planned for him to wind up relieved.

Honestly, while this work is very self-insert (and that's not a bad thing generally, but I've been finding it uncomfortable as time goes on, so that's why I prefer to take it down and keep it to myself), it was also my way of going How It Should Have Ended for the TLH series as a whole. I started it before ChoT, yes, but that book only led to minor changes and alternate paths taken -- I was already using ChoI as a base to steer these characters in the directions I thought they should go.

The Rest Of Act Three

The rest of Act Three of the fanfic is summarised below (...at length. It's a lengthy summary).

We ended the fanfic on the chapter where James and Lila returned to London, 1903 of his dimension. He was gravely wounded in his left arm, which ends up being amputated despite the efforts of Lila and Lucie (and Gus' help too). This is, of course, a reference to the recent fan art of James where a headcanon went around that the reason we couldn't see his other arm was because it just didn't exist. I took it and ran, which was not planned. I knew I wanted James injured so that Lila could return the care he once had shown her when she was wounded badly, but it wasn't going to be as severe as it ended up being. This is how we ended up at the Institute instead of 48 Curzon Street as I had previously planned for the chapter. James was going to be fine, but Cordelia had decided to confront Lila about several things, and they'd end the night having kissed -- which in turn leads Lila to going for a walk to clear her head and her subsequently getting kidnapped by Jonathan Bell (the Other James from another dimension). Anyway, the change did make some of these plot points awkward (😭) hence why I spent ages editing the make out between Lila and Cordelia because I could not decide how it should start and end. It was a nightmare. As Silver pointed out, it didn't make a whole lot of sense in the order of events (Cordelia should have gone to see James first), but I was in a mad rush to finally release the update since I knew people were waiting. The kidnapping also was not quite as dramatic as I envisioned it, but oh well. I'm actually quite happy with the rest of the chapter though.

From there comes the rest of the fic that readers probably will not get to experience, so that's why I'm writing this out, so you at least know the mysteries that I won't get to reveal and how we get to the end.

Jonathan Bell kidnaps Lila and, through the use of shadow, they end up in Paris, France. This is where Matthew also fled after his mother released him from the Silent City cells after he persuaded her into it. Lila ending up there and being away from both James and Cordelia, and spending more one-on-one time with our antagonist and Matthew since the earlier parts of the book was always intended.

Jonathan is revealed to have possession of another silver pen, which is a reference to a previous fanfic I wrote (also deleted) called Chain of Lies, where the pen could literally rewrite reality if you used your own blood for ink. In Jonathan's dimension, Lila ended up staying in his world and marrying him, but she also dies of a mysterious sickness during their honeymoon, so he uses the pen to go back in time and cancel their honeymoon, under the impression she would not get sick. Instead, she was hit by a car several days earlier, and died in the accident. Jonathan goes back again to stop that from happening, but Lila ends up dying again anyway, over and over again in different ways, every time Jonathan reverses time to prevent each event from occurring. Eventually, he goes so far back in their timeline together that he's reliving the December when they met, and that's how he knows how to divert the accidents in WBITHOM that threaten harm to this other dimension's Lila (are you still with me?). But before that, he created a time loop in that December of his dimension just trying to keep Lila alive for two years of his life whereas everyone else remained the same, but stuck in time. It's supposed to be very angsty and tragic, and it's a demonstration of one of James Herondale's core traits eventually twisting horribly wrong: how he would do anything for those he loves, whether that be family, friends, or lovers.

This character flaw/strength is something I reference lightly a few times throughout the fanfic, mostly in the ways he is concerned about the safety of his family and friends which he tries to find out from Lila, who has read Chain of Iron and knows what the future is supposed to be, and then how he reflects on how he does not know what he would do when someone he loves dies. Honestly, the issue is that he cares too much about people, which is both a good thing and a bad thing, depending on how far it goes. Jonathan is the literal embodiment of what would happen if James' care went too far, if it bordered on obsession, if he wanted to keep someone from dying so bad that he would sacrifice everything else, even the universe.

So, Jonathan finally confesses to the time-loop and explains that as a drastic measure, he tried finding Lila in another dimension to see if he could save her there, but this tearing of the time-loop to escape it worsened a tear that Cordelia had already created in her fight with Belial and the Mandikhor to such a point that it started growing and expanding and destroying the fabric of time and space between dimensions and the universe as a whole. You know, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff (Doctor Who reference for those who get it). The thing he did not realise though is that in this timeline, Lila is not meant to die, so long as she goes back home instead of staying in 1903 (he still doesn't know this, it's just a fact I would have explained to the readers when we meet Circe, the employer of Poppy Morad (P.M.) and Saint Nicholas). This is supposed to leave Lila conflicted, because as much as she wants to hate his guts for being the reason for her family disappearing and the worlds ending, even this Other James is a reflection of her own nature, which is another thing that's been lingering beneath the surface for the duration as the fic: while James has a doppelganger that demonstrates who he might become if he cannot accept loss, he and Lila have similarities boiling beneath the surface that go unnoticed until an outburst we saw Lila have where she basically accuses James of being just like her (not complimentary at the time).

Lila as a character is someone who cares deeply, but is willing to sacrifice herself and others to protect what or who she cares deeply about (yet we also see her choose self-preservation over self-sacrifice a few times before she truly starts acting in service of others). Her circle of people she cares about is more limited than James', but the shared sentiments still stand. Plus, the way Jonathan has acted this entire time has always bordered on unnerving or odd -- I did that on purpose. He's been driven to obsession, where he's basically an extreme of what James and Lila believe in. And he is both James and not James in this way, if that makes sense. We see in one of Lila's nightmares earlier in the book Jonathan saying it does not matter which version of him he is or which version of her she is -- they belong together. Fully delusional at this point, but it's meant to be scary. I'm kind of obsessed that Jonathan is also a mirror for Lila to see how she might look to her James: someone who knows you way too well, but you've also never met nor know much about at all (she might know James but she does not know this one), who's inexplicably fixated on you (granted, James did not even begin to guess Lila's feelings, and hers were rather superficial in a way until they spent more time together).

Anyway, basically, the start of this rewrite of Chain of Lies pretty much began with these dynamics between the two Jameses and Lila. It was a whole thing with diagrams and late night ranting to my poor sister and everything.

So, of course, Lila is conflicted and she also does not know how she's supposed to get Jonathan to reverse the problem he has created -- whether he's also supposed to go back to his dimension and whether that will be enough to repair the tear. Most of this happens in the Notre Dame cathedral because I said so (I like cathedrals as settings, sue me if you dare).

Meanwhile, Matthew has been in Paris and totally avoiding Charles, so he also hears nothing of Will and Tessa being notified about James' injury in London and leaving by portal. But he does hear some French Shadowhunter gossip about the Consul's werewolf son's disappearance when he discovers Lila being taken to the cathedral by a masked man. Then ensues a solo rescue operation. Honestly, I always have a lot of fun writing Matthew, it's hard not to include him more. Anyway, the rescue is successful, and he takes Lila back to his hotel room to lay low for the night before he gets her back to London with the others (since he recognises that they must have no idea where she is, what happened, and she's an integral part of solving this whole mess, as people are still disappearing in this world).

I had a really nice scene planned that I'd been waiting the entire book to write, but basically Lila and Matthew spend a sober night together (as opposed to their time in the Silent City together) where they talk about all their woes, including their love lives, and eventually they get on to the topic of how they could have smoothed over both their dilemmas if they just had each other as lovers, if only their similarities were not such that would probably be self-destructive at this point in their lives. Because we've seen often in the book other characters compare these two, but it's these two themselves who recognise that, yes, they are alike in some ways, but not the ways it counts in order to have a healthy romantic relationship. They settle on being good friends. Matthew also takes her measurements so they can pick up some quick changes of clothes since Lila's still wearing her grimy outfit she wore during the explosion. And she also brings up that she knows he's an artist, but asks that she have the chance to sketch him, and he offers to do so in return, so they spend the rest of the night drawing, which I just find so sweet. There's not much significance in that at face value, it's just cute, but I also see Matthew embracing an old hobby as one of the first steps he takes in moving on from all his pain and finding better outlets for it.

Also, the platonic nature between Lila and Matthew, the complicated romance with James and Cordelia, and then all the familial themes and side-plots going on are all part of an idea I had going into this that I wanted to demonstrate many facets of love and the importance of each in their individual right. If anything, given the extreme slowburn I've come at James/Lila/Cordelia with particularly, I want to end this book purposefully with none of them winding up together because so many other things mattered more than their romance, and even the kind of loves they have for each other are a reason they don't end up staying because they would all rather see each other safe and not see each other at all than know they might cause other problems by being in the wrong dimensions.

Anyway, because I do multiple perspectives for everything, while Matthew and Lila and Jonathan have their bit going on in Paris, back in London we see James coming to terms with his disability and in all his rumination over what's happened and Lila being missing but him being unable to go out and find her, James finally (FINALLY!) realises his romantic feelings for Lila. This also leads to a scene between him and Cordelia where they both discuss Lila and their feelings for her. Cordelia also confesses how she has felt for James for a long time, but she also explains that she wants nothing to come of it anymore because she does not see herself settling down with him like she previously thought. James is a bit stung by this (I mean, my guy had no idea about Cordelia's true feelings until now and then she also springs a rejection on him at the same time when he's just begun to realise some of his own feelings around her) but is ultimately relieved since he feels he needs more time to figure out who he is and the life he wants without the bracelet numbing him.

We also would have seen Poppy Morad and Saint Nicholas again and their increasing distress and alarm with how difficult Jonathan Bell has been to track and control since he's hared of to Paris with Lila.

When Jonathan finds out Lila's gone, he feels betrayed and frustrated by his failure. Because while he feels he has saved her, she's refusing to be his as she once was in his dimension (also why he was confused and then against her leaving and going home earlier in the story). The world is breaking down around him (we start to see parts of Paris going up in flames, not unlike London 2021 of Lila's dimension) and he's about to go track Lila down again (but now he's going a bit more heavily into Villain Mode).

We also see Poppy Morad closing in on Jonathan as he returns to London when she's defecting orders from Circe, her higher up, to take him down instead of corralling Lila's effects on the timeline.

Lila and Matthew return to London on Christmas Eve just hours before the end of the world properly starts in 1903. This is also when she and James interact for the first time since he passed out on the bridge several days ago. I was a bit undecided on how I wanted this scene to look, other than I needed them to finally confess their feelings for each other in the rain like a cliche after they have an argument where Lila says that James has everything she wants (and this is where we realise the root of her problem in this whole book is not simply loneliness, but a dissatisfaction with herself and her life, which has lent itself to the more superficial issues she's been having) but that ultimately she also just wanted him though she knows she cannot be with him without risking everything. So, when James confesses his side, they decide to spend what little time they have left with each other as best as they can. (And this where I as an author push them together like Barbie dolls and go "now kiss").

Have I mentioned this story has too many layers and plot points and it's been driving me mad this entire time I've been writing it? Anyway.

They quickly determine with The Gang™️ that "Belial" and "Lilith" are not who they seem to be anymore, because while Alastair just got arrested for the murder of Lilian Highsmith (oh yeah, that happens while Lila and Matthew are in Paris, because I wanted a reversal where it's Thomas who stands up for Alastair when he's accused of murder, just for funsies) everything else that has happened seems to be related to whoever this P.M. (remember when Cordelia was also accused of murder because Filomena thought she saw Cordelia when she was attacked?) and Matthew body double is (spoiler: Poppy Morad and Saint Nicholas are codenames for other versions of Cordelia Carstairs and Matthew Fairchild in another timeline, I'll explain more about this later, but what you can probably surmise already is that this alternate Cordelia has taken the place of Belial within this dimension and is the one murdering all the victims (including her father. That was a difficult point, because we see in a PM and Saint Nick scene that he's concerned about whether she can go through with it) and Matthew has taken Lilith's place in some minor ways (like hiding and then handing back Cortana at the right moments)).

Anyway, because Lila's kind of behind on some events, she goes to confess to Cordelia (but explain how she also feels about James), when Cordelia says there's a lot more she wants out of life before she pursues romance again. That she's been so consumed by it, by finding love, by getting married, she's lost who she is beneath it all. (Have you noticed the theme for every character in this fic is basically authenticity and finding oneself despite whatever circumstances they find themselves in?)

Then, we also would have seen Lila dedicate herself to taking down Jonathan herself since he's the main problem that's tearing things apart and perhaps if he's killed then he can no longer influence time and reality.

Vaguely, I had planned that James and Lila would have what my outline says is "an emotional night together" because it could mean literally anything and I wasn't totally sure where I wanted it to go. So. Interpret that one how you will with whatever you prefer, honestly. Anyway, while that's happening, we see Matthew go home to his mother who is, understandably, worried sick and mad because he never wrote to her like he was supposed to and Charles return without him. We see Matthew collapse into her arms and just sob. That was the plan. It's important to me that he's actually vulnerable with her for once and that he, a young man too big to be in his mother's arms, lets himself be held anyway. There was also supposed to be a wholesome Thomastair moment that I hadn't really planned, though I knew Alastair would go home with Cordelia afterwards and she would start her journey to forgiving him. We also would have seen her kneel in front of Sona to confess A Whole Lot Of Things about what's been happening in her life, from as early as the marriage blanc and the Blackthorn Manor incident. Basically, everything is supposed to be hopeful even if it hurts just a bit and feels a little bittersweet. Because then in the chapter this all would have taken place in, we'd end with Saint Nicholas and Poppy Morad collecting the pithos from Christopher who picked it up in the background of everything (basically, all the Belial storyline has still been operating as it should, except it's being orchestrated by PM instead of Belial), when Jonathan sneaks up on them and fatally wounds (he had the intent to kill) Saint Nicholas, who he is shocked to find out in that moment is an alternate Matthew.

AND THEN, next chapter we would have had at the tolling of midnight, signaling Christmas day, PM the alternate Cordelia (whose character is the way it is because she's been hardened by some long and traumatic years -- she and alternate Matthew have a tragic backstory that I've been keeping in my back pocket that wasn't really necessary to be explained in the story, but if you want to know more, just ask) drags a dying alternate Matthew back to their tent where Circe, their mysterious employer, is torn away from her work elsewhere to start enacting emergency world-fixing in this timeline. This is also when we find out Circe's identity: she is Cassandra Clare, once again (if you read Chain of Lies) who's codename was derived from the common shortened CC she's referred to in fandom, who has universal powers and basically controls (to an extent) a good portion of the universe. Like a god. But also not. It's a whole mysterious thing that I never intended to explain because I think some things are better unexplained.

THEN, Jonathan shows up to 48 Curzon Street, covered in blood and calling for Lila. A fight between him and James (and sort of Lila who's attacking Jonathan though he refuses to attack her) ensues before he ends it all by taking out a silver pen (The Silver Pen) where we see 'Nikoletta' engraved on it, and writes a time-loop which snaps the final threads keeping all the timelines and dimensions in order.

Act Four Explained Slightly More Briefly

This is the final act of the book and also the shortest. It was planned to only be about six chapters long. Now, I was most excited about this part of the book because I had ✨visions✨. No, literally, the entire inspiration of this entire fanfic came from a dream I had about James Herondale as Spider-Man, me impersonating Cordelia Carstairs and not knowing how to do Shadowhunter things, Santa Claus as Father Time, and the end of the universe, and this is where we would have finally get to see it all come together.

We kick it off with an entire chapter dedicated to a lot of scenes similar to what I've written earlier in the book with Lila and James' nightmares, where nothing makes complete sense and yet the reader is meant to feel on the cusp of understanding something alongside the characters before the dreams usually end. Only they don't here. The dreams are reality, but reality is broken, and there is no waking up because there is also no sleeping and there is no normal but faint memories of what came before. So not only is the environment ever-shifting (think of it almost like a kaleidoscope and you have maybe a quarter of my vision here), but the people also keep "glitching" between different versions of themselves at different points in time and in different realities even (sometimes the doubles join and then they split apart, it's a weird nightmareish sort of thing in my mind), and so they also have different memories and levels of knowledge about things that have happened and what's going on. We see it mostly through Lila and James' perspectives. There's supposed to be a lot of angst and a feel like everything is a fever dream.

In the next chapter, things only start to get slightly ordered when Jonathan Bell finds Lila and says he'll rewrite the universe she wants so that it's perfect for her, and can have it be anything she wants, so long as they are together (major creep vibes though, honestly, as sweet as this might sound to some). This is also me addressing a problem from my original fanfic before this one, Chain of Lies, where I basically gave that silver pen waaay too much power, and now I'm demonstrating what it can do and so, like the one ring to rule them all, it must be destroyed (once Lila or someone else gets a hold of it to rewrite and fix the fabric of everything). Alastair saves Lila from Jonathan this time (he's still a bit prickly, but we see he still cares about Lila anyway), and demands she go find Cordelia to end Jonathan (Cordelia has Cortana which can cut through anything, which is important). Then we also would have seen that James is stranded somewhere with a fluctuating Matthew (the vision is that he keeps changing states from a werewolf to a living corpse to himself at various ages) and they are attempting to find PM, the alternate Cordelia, who knows Circe who should be able to fix everything as PM explains (she got separated from Circe and Saint Nicholas when the world went crazy). She leads them partway before she's taken by the collapsing world (she disappears basically, because that can still happen to people). When Lila finds her Cordelia, she's in the Paladin state (imagine glowing eyes and a vague aura of scariness with a glowing sword and you've got it) and it takes a bit to get through to her so they can make a plan to take down Jonathan.

Chapter after that, we have Cordelia distracting Jonathan so Lila can steal the pen, but she realises she does not know how to write an ending that does not kill all the Jameses since, as Jonathan once put it in her nightmares, "it does not matter which version of him I am... we are the same". This hesitance gets Cordelia fatally wounded, though she's not quite dead yet, but it's the final push Lila needs to kill Jonathan with Cortana (as also seen in a dream she had ages ago without realising it), and Circe finally manages to pull enough worldly strings in this chaos to pause time long enough for James and Lila to reunite to do the re-writing with her.

From there, we have two alternate paths. I called these basically "the happy ending that could have been" and "the bittersweet ending that was", which I was inspired to write by The Umbrella Academy (if you know, you know, I won't spoil it for anyone else who doesn't).

In the happy ending that could have been, we see the characters a couple years down the line. We also find out that Lila would not have died like she did in the other universe. She and James are together and they end up planning to propose to each other on the same day, which is the day after Lila successfully ascends. Then we see Cordelia and Matthew travelling together across the world as friends. After that, we would have seen Thomas and Alastair having dinner at the Lightwoods'. Finally, the Raftis family believe Lila is missing, presumed dead, but after a couple years they are finally moving on.

The bittersweet ending that was though is where Lila goes home. The friends she's made in London 1903 see her off before James takes her back to her dimension where they'd have one final goodbye on Blackfriars Bridge. That night, Cordelia gets on a train to set off and travel on her own. We also see Matthew, who has already picked up Oscar a couple days earlier, going to Gus' flat to complain that Oscar misses Gus and would not stop whining until they came by. We see Matthew finally tentatively suggest a first date, and Gus would accept. We close this part of the ending much like we started the book, with James walking alone in the night, just as he was when he left the Devil Tavern and his story took a different direction to canon when he found himself outside Cornwall Gardens where he met with Alastair. This time, James is alone, and he's feeling a little hopeful about the future ahead.

We get one final chapter before the epilogue where it's mostly Lila's perspective as she finally gets to experience Christmas with her family in 2021 and I planned for the beginning of some family healing and bonding to occur. Then we would have seen future James once more, who it turns out is now tasked by Circe (CC) with maintaining the space between dimensions, but this means he can't be in any one for very long since it's a lot of work that takes up time.

And now we get to the epilogue. Every time I imagine this, I get a little emotional. The epilogue would have began several years in the future with Lila dropping a bi-annual letter into the Thames, which I liken to the River Styx, in that it's where all lost things end up. We see, rather comedically, that she has moved out with the money she gained from some things she "stole" from Curzon Street, as well as her mysterious finding of the adamas, which scientists in her world are still amazed by. We are surprised to see though that when she goes home, she's living with the version of Matthew who nearly died in his previous role as Saint Nicholas, because CC gave him a chance to live out a new life elsewhere, in a dimension where there was not another version of himself. He and Lila seem to be doing well.

We cut to James of around December 1905 who has gone to visit his family at the Institute, where Lucie and Jesse are pouring over Cordelia's latest letter from abroad. James says he was just at Matthew's flat, and Gus was telling him about theories of time travel that the mundanes at the university Gus attends were discussing. We also find out that James himself has written a book, a science fiction piece with a ridiculously long title, about different worlds and the doubles of people that exist. After the dinner, he goes to Blackfriars Bridge and produces several of Lila's letters out of a pocket before stowing them away and shadow travelling to her dimension to leave a letter for her.

The fanfic would have ended on James' letter, which mentions briefly that he is having nightmares again of Belial's return since they have heard nothing have what happened with CC. Aside from that, the letter is rather sweet. But we see that Lila never gets a chance to read it, because CC collects it first and burns it with a lighter while humming "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas".

Concluding Words

And that, ladies, gents, and fair folk, was how Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine would have ended. It has potential for a sequel. One I never want to write except in my head because, man, I am so exhausted by this fanfic alone after I already did it as a rewrite of Chain of Lies. If anything, this is the sequel to Chain of Lies and the next potential story would be the third book. It's been a long few years, I'll tell you that.

Some final things:

If you're wondering about that green coat I was always mentioning: it was supposed to be my tell, along with the gold-ringed eyes, for Saint Nicholas being an alternate Matthew, who is also the leader of the SoHo wolf pack in his origin universe. For Poppy Morad as the alternate Cordelia, who worked as Matthew's partner in time shenanigans, it was the fact that people forgot her face once they saw it because of a facial rune she applies (one that does not exist but she has courtesy of working for The CC). That's why people often knew they saw Cordelia, but could not remember the details of that meeting, if they managed to remember her at all.

The reason Lila has essentially what I call "a death aura" is because of her alternate selves, many of whom die, and it's something that leaks between worlds as the walls steadily break down.

At some point in Le Grand Reveal Of The Time-loop, Lila realises that the detailing on Jonathan's mask matches the floral detail on the back of The Joker card she's been carrying around with her sister's initials this whole time, which hints at just how significant some of the objects in this story are and the meanings they can give (The Fool and The Master being other common names for the card, related to its unpredictability and capability of being anything).

Jonathan wears, obviously, his crimson cape, but his clothes are a deep navy blue and this is part of my reference to Spider-Man and the original dream that inspired all of this.

Future James does indeed have diamond stud earrings. I said so.

At the end of the book, CC would have reinstated Lilith and Belial (whom she removed for previously causing problems in other dimensions where they became too aware of alternate timelines) with altered memories, so the stories can generally continue where they left off (some a couple years later, which has some interesting effects if I wrote the next book, in theory).

And I think that's all I have. But if anyone has any questions at all, feel free to reply to the post to ask, message me, or put it straight into the ask box, I'm more than happy to answer since I'm already depriving you of a properly written-out neat ending to everything. Reminder that I am deleting the fanfic WBITHOM in roughly 48 hours from the time of this post, so after that it will not be available on any public platforms for reading. I am not taking down any of my other fanfics (except for the few that I already have some weeks ago).

Thank you to the readers who have supported me on this longass journey. You were often the reason I kept going when I wanted to give up on writing fanfic, especially writing this one, which has been a very trying process (I mean, it took me half a day just to explain the last approximate third of the damn book, for crying out loud). I appreciate the kudos, the comments, and all the enthusiasm. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Take care now, and I'll see you in the updates of other works in the future.

-- streettealee

P.S. special thank you to @thevagabondexpress who endured many hours of me blabbering way too much about this fic and these characters, who I pestered to give me feedback as I fretted over whether I was doing everything right (spoiler: there's no right way, just better ways), and who cared about this when I struggled to. You suggested I might find a way to give readers some closure. And so I also give thanks to @faithfromanewperspective, who went nuts for an Australian OC (understandably, as I would too) and blazed through my entire fic and encouraged me inadvertently to start updating again after a long dry spell. You still absolutely get to see my drafts and outline next time we catch up in person, but I hope for now that this is a good description of the rest of what the book would have been and it gives you some closure, as well as for the other readers. Thank you also to @quantummeep for reading and commenting! I can never get out of my head how even early on in your reading you recognised all the plot threads that I had been weaving together, and it meant so much to me that you appreciated the level of detail I tried to work with.

Thank you all and to the other readers who also supported me 💛

[freeuselandonorris]

so i somehow missed your cyberpunk lando art and idk how i did but it SLAPS ughhh the details of the, the way he's glowing and soft looking but his eyes are so sharp. oughh the way i feel about him is literally so embarrassing

anyways i feel like we've talked a lot lando in this au but can you tell us more about your thoughts on oscar??? like we know a little about him but i'm still really curious

-🧸

🥹 tysm!! i’d been chewing over that gorgeous photo of lando where he looks like a cyborg for ages, so it was fun to finally get the art spark back and do something with it, and i’m so happy w how it turned out!

yesssss let’s talk about oscar!! the fic is actually from his pov and centres around his career. he’s still racing for mclaren (only they’re called McLaren-Tech now) and, like in real life, he had a very promising junior career and is managed by mark webber. as an active driver, his cybernetic implants are heavily restricted by the FIA, so he has the following:

a standard neural link with ocular chip that allows him to do things like use his DNA signature to authenticate things (e.g. purchases, contracts), make payments and credit transfers, and the ocular chip is like an augmented reality overlay to his left eye that allows him to make video calls, see maps etc. the FIA mod to this also gives him essentially a HUD overlay of what he’d see on the steering wheel display

palm smartlink sensors that link him to the car and allow the car to react to him on a pre-conscious level (e.g. before manual input) — this works in conjunction with a headset he wears beneath his helmet (called a “wreath”, cribbed from cyberpunk 2077 parlance) that allows the car to read his brainwaves and anticipate his input using things like his direction of gaze and intention

various bits of FIA-approved McLaren-Tech software, some of which are semi-permanently installed in his brain via his neural chip and some are able to be taken in and out at will, using the ports (like USB slots) he has behind one ear.

he’s not really allowed anything else because the FIA controls it all tightly, which is why he’s fascinated by how tricked out lando is and how much more cyborg-ised (??? lol) he is. he’s quite sheltered in many ways — in this ‘verse he still went to the renault academy but it was like a residential program and he’s never really known anything but being a kid and then being a racer, whereas lando has had this whole few wilderness years (in my head they’re a bit older than they are now, lando around 28 and oscar around 26) after he had to quit racing and kind of went a bit feral for a while before he got serious about becoming a race engineer/coach. oscar’s never really had much of a life outside of racing, he’s never had a real relationship and doesn’t really have any hobbies etc, his life feels a bit empty and lonely although he hasn’t really characterised it to himself like that — he just doesn’t really think about it, until lando comes along.

OKAY i’m going to stop now before i spoil the entire thing lmao i’m tooooo excited about this verse

[kitausuret]

would you be willing to recommend me some venom comic runs? i'm a comics guy generally but i've never read venom. recently watched the movie and it was baller.

Hey there friend! So, Venom is coming up on 35 years as of 2023 (wow!) so you have a lot of options. There's pretty much something for everyone out there, but given that you liked the movie, I can probably point you in the right direction...

If you can get your hands on trades (or even just use them as a guide for your favorite Digital Comics Avenue) that's gonna be your best bet. The Epic Collections (link to Wikipedia) are really comprehensive. The chart even has them in order! Handy!

If you don't want to be flipping between fifty different Spider-Man series, though, you can definitely start with some of the Venom-titled books! I've tried to pick ones that don't require a whole lot of backreading.

So, easy starting point is going to be Venom: Lethal Protector (1993) #1-6. I strongly recommend reading Amazing Spider-Man #373-375 first if you can, since #375 is the first appearance of Anne Weying. LP is to this day one of my favorite series, and it has some of the best Venom and Spider-Man moments. All are written by David Michelinie, and pencils are by Mark Bagley or Ron Lim.

If you like Anne Weying, Venom: Sinner Takes All and Venom: Along Came a Spider are the two miniseries that feature her the most. Both are written by Larry Hama. The latter has art that is... kinda rough in my opinion, but if you can look past it, they're both neat. The other thing to keep in mind is that with ACAS is that it does take place in the middle of Spider-Man Clone Saga (well.. after Ben Reilly has taken up the mantle) so it's not as new reader friendly but it IS fun. I like when Anne whacks Ben.

Are these comics good? Eh... "Sinner" is probably the stronger story of the two, but when you like Anne, you can't be too picky about what you get, unfortunately!

I also absolutely have to recommend the Planet of the Symbiotes event, which immediately follows Venom: Separation Anxiety (one of my personal favorite series). I recommend "Separation" First and then just checking out a collection of the PotS event, like this one here (link to readcomicsonline). Otherwise you have to sort out which Super Specials to read and it's annoying and dumb. The nice thing about PotS is that it's an excellent story by Michelinie with.. hmm.. let's say inconsistent art, but it's very fun and even if you're a little lost by the Clone Saga stuff, don't worry about it!! You'll be fine.

And finally, if you're looking for something a little more wacky, you can't go wrong with Venom: The Madness (W: Ann Nocenti, A: K. Jones) and Venom: Carnage Unleashed (W: Hama, A: Wildman, Nichols)! They are both very 90s off-the-wall insane and just like. Absolutely bonkers-nuts. The Madness also has the distinction of introducing Eddie (and Venom's!) first love interest since Anne. Mwah! 😘

If you'd like more modern recommendations, or if you're willing to check out other hosts, I'd be happy to provide those as well! But this should be a good starting point for some fun books. Happy reading, and if any other Venomaniacs have recommendations, feel free to add on!

[undergroundbillions]

is the footage of rag dolly we do have bootlegged? I’m really interested in the way bootleg recordings effect the audience a show reaches.

the 1984 full show? It was taken as archival footage for the theater, and at some point made its way to the New York State Archives. But I think some of the same themes apply, since it wasn't made to ever be released to the public and the whole perception of the show changed once we had actual footage beyond just clips.

The demo album is the same way, it was recorded professionally but not meant to be released to the public. The full Broadway audio is a bootleg though. The bootleg came first, my files say they were created in 2007 but I don't know how early they were online. The demo started circulating later, and was posted to youtube in 2013, which started getting more people invested. There were a handful of people (Garrett and Vinnie!) looking for it as a lost Broadway oddity, but around then you started seeing actual fandom interaction like fan art and searching out merchandise.

What made it really blow up the first time in 2020/2021 was the movie (Garrett's restoration) getting popular, and the ColinLooksBack video that covered both the movie and the musical! Finding the footage was just amazing though. Like I can't even describe the feeling of watching the show for the first time, I wish I could watch it for the first time again! We didn't even know for certain if we were getting both acts, the archives said they only had one but it ended up being both!

I've said it before but finding that footage is what made it all so real. It's what convinced us the show was actually worth bringing back. It was so... different from what we had expected based on the reviews. And of course, it was from 1984 not Broadway! It was a completely different show in tone. Suddenly we realized there was a lot more merit to it than a fun little oddity, the writing was really clever, the directing was engaging, the acting was so much more nuanced than what could be heard in the Broadway bootleg. It made this whole revival thing a goal worth the effort, I don't know when we would have lost steam otherwise. And of course, brings so many new people in! It didn't immediately draw in new fans when it was posted in 2021 but it has definitely made a huge difference, even if it took a couple years to get there.

So I guess it really depends on your definition of bootleg. If it has to be taken by an audience member or if it can just be a copy and public release of something professionally recorded but not meant to be online (I still call my other illegal downloads of proshots "bootlegs").

Well I wrote more than I expected but I hope it's interesting enough!

-𝕸𝖔𝖉 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖑 𝕯.

[dubiouslynamed]

Alright, this idea has been giving me a hard time for weeks. Out into the void it goes! Sorry it's so long. There's more under the cut, believe me.

CURTAIN/ NIAT RUC

The Bentley's license plate, NIAT RUC, has been visible from the beginning of this show and it's been nagging at the back of my head just as long. Why is it 'curtain' spelled backwards? What does it mean? And what is the overall story about? Crowley asks the question at the beginning of Season 2. What's the point of it all? Angels, demons, heaven, hell? Is that license plate a Clue? Obviously, I think it is.

Good Omens is about friendship and love, certainly. But there's more going on. The book and show both deal with huge moral and ethical questions-often in the flashbacks, but not always. Why is the universe the way it is? Why do bad things happen to good people? How do you choose between two bad options? Why should you have to, sometimes? Is it right to harm one person to save another (Or many others? Or all the others?). What's the point of it all?

I think that's part of why this particular story, in whatever medium it's told, is so compelling. I love the characters and the writing and the direction and the production-clearly all the work of many very committed people who also love the story and have the skill and talent to bring it to life. But the best stories, and for me this is one of them, examine the *really* big questions. Good Omens asks those questions and somehow (Maybe by using an angel and demon as protagonists? I don't know. It's a mystery!) manages to be hugely entertaining while doing so.

Curtain is Agatha Christie's last Hercule Poirot mystery. She wrote it in the early 1940s, partly worried she might die in the Blitz and leave her detective without a satisfactory ending, and locked it up to be published over 30 years later in the 1970s. In it, a dying Poirot solves the mystery of the identity of a serial killer who has mastered the art of psychologically provoking other people to commit murders without ever being found out as the person who persuaded them to kill. There isn't enough evidence to charge this indirect murderer with anything and Poirot believes he will continue his crimes uncaught. Poirot murders the serial killer himself (by deceiving his friend Hastings to a fare-thee-well and then arranging the evidence to look like the killer committed suicide). He then stops taking the medicine that has been keeping him alive. Poirot's solution is what he sees as the lesser evil of murdering the killer followed by atonement in the form of his own death. In short, Poirot has chosen among the bad options available to him while retaining the moral sense that his choice is itself evil. Some Christie fans won't read Curtain and I don't blame them.

The Metatron looks a lot like the manipulative serial killer in Curtain, though a writer as skilled as Neil Gaiman doesn't borrow entire characters or plots. The Metatron is certainly in a position to have influenced or even caused some of Heaven's morally outrageous actions by representing them as the word of God. Poisoning the angels against humanity bit by bit over millennia until they have no problem with the idea of destroying all of creation. They're even enthusiastic about it. Heaven is arguably worse than Hell at this point because, in fairness, Hell seems to look at humanity as a recruitment opportunity more than anything else.

In the first series of Good Omens, we see Crowley propose murdering the Antichrist to stop the Apocalypse and Aziraphale come close to doing it (he is only stopped by Madame Tracy's good sense from firing the thunder gun at Adam). You have to wonder what would have happened to Aziraphale if he'd managed to succeed. Something like Poirot's death? Do even good-hearted angels have to choose between bad options?

I believe that authors, being deeply concerned with words and their meanings, should be taken seriously about what they call their stories. An omen is a portent, for good or for evil, of events to come. So the name Good Omens essentially means 'this is a story about good things that will happen in the future'. Perhaps, perhaps, then, Good Omens is a story about finding and removing a source of evil in the universe without having to commit a moral crime to do it and, as a consequence, getting things more on track to a happier ending for everyone, our characters included. Not to a place where too often there is only a choice among bad options but to a place where there are more good options. More reason for the dealer in God's metaphor to be smiling all the time. Not Curtain, but its reverse.

[hatari-translations]

Matthías interview on quitting Hatari - translation

Some sad news in Fréttablaðið today. The tl;dr is that Matthías is quitting the band to focus on being a father, but this is not necessarily the end of the band. Translation below the cut.

Matti quitting Hatari - trading in the leather suit for a dad sweater

[Image caption: Matthías holds his daughter Sóley on the photo on the right. He says the high point of his week is to see her dressed in this cute strawberry outfit.]

Musician, playwright and copywriter Matthías Tryggvi Haraldsson has decided to leave the band Hatari which he has worked with for the past few years. He aims to concentrate on being a father but says it's impossible to quell his creative spark.

"I basically realized when I became a professional singer that I get no real joy out of singing for people," says Matthías, who recently became a father. He says the fatherhood role has changed how he prioritizes his life.

"When you have a child you start to prioritize and you just have to do what you want to do," he says. Matthías currently works as a copywriter at advertising agency Brandenburg.

"Being a father in a 9-to-5 job is my primary objective right now. Of course, writing is never too far away. I've got a movie script churning away and another theater translation as well," says Matthías, who says it was a surprise that he'd ended up as the frontman of a popular band.

"It wasn't really ever the plan to become a singer. But of course Hatari was a fantastic idea and this doesn't necessarily mean the band is breaking up," says Matthías, who says the members of the band understood his decision and Hatari's fans won't have to despair, as the band will continue.

"It's a rollercoaster that has taken me places I never imagined a person could go."

The performance took on a life of its own

Hatari has for a long time been a name nationally known by both children and adults, especially after the band represented Iceland in Eurovision, which brought them international fame.

The band, which could be classified both as a traditional band and as performance art, quickly became known for its live staging and cool costumes. Matthías says the idea of the band took on a life of its own early on.

"It was performance art that kind of lived its own independent life and went faster than anyone could imagine or control. It just happened and took on a life of its own. It seems to have just been in the right place at the right time."

Diverse influences

The band originated with Matthías and Klemens Hannigan, who also sings in the band.

"It was really Klemens who was the reason we started doing anything to begin with. He sort of ordered me to scream something into the microphone the day we got bored of playing Civilization at his house," says Matthías, but also that he was writing a lot of poetry at the time, much of which made its way into the band's songs as lyrics.

"I was writing a lot of poetry at that time, and I was in a group of young poets that were a great inspiration to me. But also the band Laibach was always behind the ear," says Matthías. That band has been widely influential across a diverse flora of bands in the so-called "industrial" genre; among others, it was a great influence on the band HAM in its time.

Wanted to deceive the audience

Another thing that directed Hatari's creativity was their goal to deceive and defy the expectations of their audience, which was an effort to refuse to let the band be pinned down as one thing and gave them a lot of creative freedom.

"We were always trying, secretly and openly, to defy the audience's expectations. When we'd been stamped as a satellite of the heavy metal scene in Iceland, we went and cut off the long hair," says Matthías. Of course, this was also part of the band's role when it participated in Eurovision.

"The audience's expectations for Eurovision are of course as they are, and we perhaps don't exactly fit like a glove there," he says.

The warm blanket of late capitalism

Matthías has worked a wide variety of jobs over the years, both as a playwright, dramaturge and lyricist, but he also recently applied for a job as the programming director of Rás 1 [Channel 1 of the Icelandic state radio broadcaster].

"It's a radio station I have a great affinity and affection for, and I've previously made a radio series called Allir deyja [Everyone Dies]," says Matthías, who first got involved with radio as a news reporter.

"I've been a host at RÚV, but I first got involved with it through the newsroom when I was a news reporter. But I have strong feelings about the cultural role that the state broadcaster serves," he says.

When asked if it's hard to satisfy his desire to create in a traditional job, he says it is complicated but inspiration can be found in many places.

"The desire to create doesn't go anywhere, and I'm reading stuff in the evening after the girl's asleep and taking Fridays off and finding little chances where I can to work on scripts and translations and other things. The playwright and screenwriter doesn't die so easily," says Matthías, who also finds inspiration in his current job. "There's also creativity in writing advertisements for random companies. It's more fun than you might think, and especially in good company like I have at Brandenburg," he says.

When asked if the frontman of the anti-capitalistic band Hatari has now fallen for good for the ideology of libertarianism and market forces, he says so.

"I'm heading into the warm blanket of late capitalism," says Matthías who looks forward to experiencing its comforts. "All I crave now is safety, stability and disposable income to take vacations. Those are all ideas that were very alien to me less than a year ago. The rhythm of my life has taken kind of a U-turn, and I don't feel like taking weeks to rock and roll abroad fits into that new rhythm. But it was a fascinating experience to do it when I did."

[pawstepsinthesnow]

On DeviantArt, DreamUp, and Lies

I’ve had things to say about the whole situation, mostly on Twitter, but Twitter is a horrible place to have an actual conversation. Warning: this is going to get long. There will be links in the body, I understand that this will tank visibility, but I need to have this written out.

If you haven’t already heard about DeviantArt’s extraordinarily failed rollout of AI scraper protection and their own AI image generator, DreamUp, I’ll quickly summarize it here for background context going in. 

On November 11th, 2022, DeviantArt debuted their own AI art generator in a huge, splashy announcement talking about how they were going to protect your art from scraping for AI datasets, and to that end, they’d made their OWN, ETHICAL AI generator only trained on opt-in art on dA.

There was just one little problem.

Every single artwork on DeviantArt was opt-in by default. 

[Nobody liked that.]

Now, I like to get my story straight-- the earliest snapshot I can find of the announcement did not say that it was trained on dA specifically. However, multiple news websites reported that it was trained on dA.

After a few Twitter spaces in which they patronized the fuck out of Major Artists (if I can find the backup of this, I will update the post to include it), they updated their policy to opt-out all art by default.

This is a distraction.

I’ll refer you to this twitter thread first, because I think it’s a brilliant summation, but for a quick summary of what their opt-out actually does:

Webpages have tags in them for web-crawlers to read, such as the ones Google uses to index webpages. dA is proposing a new one, “noai”. In order for this to actually have any effect, web crawlers need to be programmed to recognize it. You can probably guess the obvious problems with this.

[image desc: popular meme image from the show Arthur, captioned “that sign can’t stop me because I can’t read”]

Additionally, dA’s own ToS says they won’t take any legal action to enforce their noai directive, meaning it has all the weight of a “take one” sign on a Halloween candy bowl.

Very notably, this does not affect any images that have already been scraped for datasets such as LAION, which Stable Diffusion is built on. It is well known that LAION is rife with stolen artwork.

DreamUp is built on Stable Diffusion.

The Main Point: Lies

As of the time of this writing, DeviantArt is claiming that no artwork from DeviantArt was used to train DreamUp. (ARCHIVE.ORG snapshot taken while I was writing this post for proof) This is blatantly false, knowing what’s in LAION, but in an interview with the Verge, dA’s current CEO gives a more nuanced take: “no dA-specific training”.

That is unfortunately also a lie, and trivially proven.

Before I can say how, you need to know two things about me, and a bit about the technology.

The first thing about me: I’m a cybersecurity master’s student in a very rigorous program, and my particular flavor of neurodivergence ended up trading a lot of points in “basic life skills” for “really good at computer shit”.

The second thing about me: I’ve poured years of my life into community management on dA, helping build art RPGs. It’s a little bit of a weird space if you’ve never been exposed, but what  you really need to know is we have our own lingo and our own systems of IP. 

So, Stable Diffusion is a neural network. People really hype this stuff up, but what it really is in the end is an extremely complicated math problem. What you need to know is that these neural networks undergo two phases: a training phase and a usable phase. A pretrained neural network can be retrained on additional data, but it cannot be untrained. Once trained, its training data is an intrinsic part of it. It’s actually a little worse than a human being-- we forget shit all the time, but these things can’t. All products of a neural network are mathematically dependent on its training data.

As a text-to-image generator, these generators need a specific type of data: described images. In order to generate an image from a caption, it needs to know what’s in it, after all! 

LAION is an intrinsic part of Stable Diffusion. DreamUp has stolen art in it. This is a fact. What I’m seeking to disprove here is dA’s CEO’s claim that there was no dA-specific training. In order to do so, I asked a basic question-- does DreamUp understand the shibboleths I pose it? If I ask it to generate images that use terms that would only be understood by those who work in my opaque-to-outsiders closed species groups, then it has dA-specific training. 

In order to run tests, I used Hugging Face’s official Stable Diffusion test space as a control. Any differences in Stable Diffusion’s output vs. DreamUp’s output would be down to DeviantArt’s additional training. Please also note that these tests were run on the 12th, before any username bans went through.

Here are my results:

(Please note that an “import” is a certified character for use in an ARPG. Ketucari is an arpg I help run.)

“ketucari import by matriarchs haunt”

STABLE DIFFUSION:

A lot of textures, rope, and horses. (Horses might be a factor of the dA data already in the dataset, horse arpgs are extraordinarily popular and I believe outnumber closed species arpgs like ketucari).

Dreamup results:

These pictures are recognizably in the style of ARPG imports, to the point where I swear I’ve seen similar ones. The beasts on them are twisted horses, likely due to the sheer amount of horse ARPG imports in the training data. 

Additionally, with the names of multiple popular horse groups, a fellow ARPGer was able to generate an even more convincing import. (I’m sorry I don’t know your username, though your name is so familiar!)

For comparison: a ketucari import of a character I own, another import of a popular arpg with a character I own -- please note the basic format of a character with color-your-own lines posed on a background. 

A second test:

Stygians ARPG is a different flavor of ARPG I don’t help run, but I generally hang out in. This is the reference art for the Stygian species. Their name is a common word that can be easily confused for other things, but they’re a large group. Stygs do not follow the above ARPG format but have free-drawn adoptables, so they won’t have quite the same GLUT in the training data that imports do. 

“legendary stygian by zoomutt” (Zoo is a sweetheart and the species owner, and legendaries are a specific lore subclass)

Stable Diffusion:

Predicatably, it has no fucking clue what I’m on about.

Dreamup:

This is the most damning, and convincing example yet-- these are recognizably deer-shaped creatures. The left has a four-critter lineup like an adoptable sale, and the middle has a frame and a label, though notably in a different style than Zoo usually uses for her sales. One person in the Stygs discord did point out there’s an MLP character named Stygian who might be contaminating the results, which I do want to make note of (I stopped watching the show a while back). I do also want to note that none of these creatures are at all MLP-styled. 

So, how is dA generating recognizable closed species and ARPG imports?

Because they fed it additional, tagged data from dA. It knows people’s styles and IPs. That’s why you have to block your username to begin with.

[bomberqueen17]

caught up

Ha so i managed to watch all the episodes of the new Witcher season this weekend, so now i can -- let's be real I wasn't avoiding spoilers before, but like, I've read the books right, it's like, there's only so much they can do to surprise me. (below discussion is not in-depth or spoilery, more general and I don't have a ton of time so not meant to be anything profound)

I see they've taken Cahir's character in a delicious other direction-- book!Cahir is a dutiful young fanatic whose youth and relative inexperience is kind of critical to his character (and kind of parallels Ciri's contemporary journey, as she goes from being an idealistic child through all the things she goes through, he also is humbled and shamed and loses his idealism and his fanaticism gets a layer of tarnished desperation and then he finds his humanity etc-- chefkiss), but the Netflix version is an older, more deeply-committed fanatic, more intimately and personally tied to the ruler he serves so faithfully. They've also done some worldbuilding for Emhyr's missing years that I think is very interesting. It's funny, Cahir's actor is too old (but a great actor), and Emhyr's is too young, they've tried to age him up but he's like. Well he's like thirty. It hits weird. But, television, that's how television is.

I was using my sister's television since i had the house to myself, and could not figure out how to get subtitles on, so any of the lines that were whisper-growled-- that is to say almost all of them-- were largely unintelligible to me. But many of the ones I could make out were also just-- word salad, pretty things strung together for the vibe, so I don't feel like I missed out. You just had to get the gist, and sometimes it was an incredibly impactful book line that they crammed in there kind of unearned, but if you recognized it you could imbue it with the correct meaning yourself. This is not really a criticism. The whole thing was so rushed because they had to cover like 20 episodes' worth of material in eight, so it was just cruising on vibes and did so I think admirably, conveying a lot of worldbuilding complexity without having really a moment to get into it, and shorthanding character development in snappy one-liners that were pretty effective if you just. Suspended disbelief about literally any kind of logistics.

I did like some of the details they did choose to give us. Cool themes with Ciri, which I think convey the entire message of the book extremely well. And like-- when she's exposed to a bunch of sunlight, they showed her suffering with sunburn. That's a great grounding little bit of detail, even if it went away by the next scene because there wasn't time-- such a good detail, really eloquently conveyed by the framing and the actress and the props.

It's like.... an incredibly abbreviated art form, where they're doing grand gestures of vibes to get the story across.

Absolutely perfect for fanfic, LOL. There's really no well thought out detail to contradict so you've got a largely blank canvas. I also have deep regret that I don't think I can retcon my fic Keira into the Keira from Netflix who was both hot and had like, the perfect earthy practical personality, fuck she's good. Relatedly I loved the detail of how in the books Margarita Laux-Antilles was described as the most beautiful women in the world, and they cast a fat Black woman to play her, an absolutely gorgeous fat Black woman, and there in every scene of the sorceresses being beautiful were several fat women being beautiful too. It's something, ok.

I kept being like "omg woman hot" as i was watching, which was funny. I was by myself though, so it was fine, no one was there to witness my incoherence except the discord channels i kept typing into the wrong ones of.

one tiny sort of spoilery bit: i loved the delicious scene with Ciri confronting Cahir, but it was so rushed it was awkward, instead of showing us much they just had to have Cahir say it, and it was-- well the vibes were fucking delicious, but the execution kind of clumsy. But as I don't plan to rewatch, have zero fear that in my head I will rebuild this myself into something absolutely fucking perfect and id-tastic. Alas that we lost the book vibe where she clearly hadn't really realized he was a person until she knocked his helmet off and saw his stupefyingly blue eyes etc., and his terror and such, but i'm just gonna go ahead and fold that back in there in my mental recreation of it, don't worry. LOL if it worked for you as shot I Do Not Blame You.

oh also i'm in love with Philippa and now i feel bad i was so careless with her in my fic. Maybe I need to give her a bit more depth. I used her game characterization, I admit it, and Netflix did so well by her I'm sort of ashamed I didn't think of her like that.