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#and idk how much time I personally have left
lenoraslament · 2 days
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Can you do one whee it's a threesome with mattheo, Tom and y/n and it is bdsm for the first time and they go ruff
Careful What You Wish For
Reader x threesome with Mattheo Riddle and Tom Riddle
Warnings: smut, 18+ Minors DNI!, bdsm, rough, oral (m receiving), fingering, dp, spanking, degradation, piv, anal, creampie.
Idk what demon possessed me when I wrote this but it’s pretty dirty so…beware? lol. Also I’m a little drunk. Also I’m sorry I forgot to do word count but it is long
“I want you both or not at all,” you said. Mattheo’s brows knitted together, his face was a wince. He had been infatuated with you for so long . Pined for you, maybe not your personality but certainly your body. Your mouth, your breasts. He couldn’t remember a day where he didn’t see you walking down the hall and try to imagine what was under the skirt that was always flirting with your thighs.
So he tried, and tried to get you to hook up with him. He approached you in the great hall, after quidditch games, in the library. Sure, you’d flirt back but always left him wanting. He wasn’t used to not getting his way and your resistance left him even more feral for a night with you.
Just another Saturday night of debauchery in the Slytherin common room. You were just drunk enough to give him a knowing grin when Mattheo sauntered his way over to you.
“God, you don’t know how badly I want you,” Mattheo muttered. His eyes slipping from your lips to your body. But his gaze wasn’t exactly what you were after. Thats not to say you weren’t attracted to Mattheo, I mean you had eyes. It was his big brother who made his way into your fantasies.
Tom riddle, godly handsome, aloof, cold. The only boy who wouldn’t give you the time of day if you begged. You watched him in the library, in his own world. What you wouldn’t give for a taste of what swam under his still waters.
So when Mattheo made his millionth pass at you, you were drunk enough to ask for the impossible
“I want you both or not at all”.
“Both?” Mattheo nearly choked on his drink, “my…Tom….at the same” he was about to say no. Hell no. But then you leaned forward and pressed your body against his. Your lips brushed up his neck to his ear.
“At the same time. However you want me,” your breathy voice tickled his ear, “however rough you like it”.
Hook. Line. And sinker.
Mattheo didn’t need anymore convincing. His rational thought was blinded by the throbbing need in his pants. He nearly growled, his hand on your waist as he sighed and finally said, “okay..,”.
With that he wasted no time to go to Tom. Tom was perched on a chair near the end of the party, he was sipping whiskey. Playing chess with Blaise. Tom appraised the anxious look on Mattheo’s face, the way he stood next to their game chewing on his lip trying to figure out how to approach it.
“What?” Tom asked curtly. When his usual obnoxiously confident brother began to stammer; Tom rolled his eyes.
Legilimens
That’s all it took. Tom’s dive into Mattheo’s mind, was intrusive. Months of Mattheo’s obsession. Tom knew who you were of course, he noticed you staring at him. He found you attractive enough but knowing his brothers obsession with you amused him. Both? You wanted both? Tom smirked at this. He would have never given you the credit to be such a little slut.
Tom dropped the spell as Mattheo winced and cursed.
“Ow fuck asshole,” Mattheo said rubbing the pinprick he felt in his temple. Tom was chuckling and finished his whiskey with a swig.
“Y/N huh?” Tom asked coolly as if he didn’t just see the whole thing played out inside of Mattheo’s mind. He nodded for a moment.
“Fine. Two conditions. I want her sober and you both listen to what I say,” Tom said not even looking up at him as he checked Blaise knocking another piece off the board.
Mattheo felt sheepish, he knew what he was asking for. He knew how Tom loved to torture him generally and how much knowing the girl he wanted, wanted his brother would play to Tom’s ego.
“Fine” he grumbled. Tom only nodded as Blaise groaned when Tom finished the game
“Tomorrow night. Go tell her”.
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You couldn’t believe Mattheo went for it. Or more surprisingly that Tom agreed. In the harsh light of morning, you felt nervous; nearly ashamed. When Mattheo had found you later that night at the party and told you the terms you were excited. Now there was a hot coal in your stomach.
Tom wanted you sober. Obedient.
It made you swallow and flush. All day you turned over the idea in your head like a stone. It was eight PM, when Mattheo knocked on your door.
“Ready?” He asked, he looked as nervous as you felt. Suddenly it got real and you nearly backed down. It felt like a dream as he led you down the hall to Tom’s private prefect room.
You had showered ahead of time and did you hair and makeup. You wore a sundress. When Tom answered the door he smirked appraising you. It was not lost on you that this may have been the first time you had his full attention.
He didn’t say hi, “you don’t look so brave now” he immediately mocked making your cheeks burn red. Mattheo walked in the room looking fidgety and sat on the bed.
“I…I’m fine…I’m ready” you muttered trying to muster a smile. Tom only kept smirking, his hand slowly cupped your jaw as he studied your face.
“What’s your safe word?” He asked, his eyes burning into yours. Eyebrow quirked with interest, you nearly trembled.
“I don’t need one” your attempt to be flirty.
Tom laughed as this, “nice try but believe me you will.” He squeezed your jaw a little.
“Don’t make me ask again,” his voice was still light and full of levity.
“Um…episky?” You nervously asked instead of stated. Tom nodded and walked over to Mattheo standing over him. His face dropped back into the usual stoic demeanor.
“You good?” Tom asked him, Mattheo looked over at you. How perfect and sexy you looked.
“Yea…good..”Mattheo said his nervousness was still there but he kept his eyes on the prize.
Tom patted him on the shoulder and made his way back to you. Like a switch was flicked his voice dropped, he was nearly sneering at you,
“So you’re the girl who’s got my little brother all keyed up?” Tom asked in a smooth voice. You opened your mouth to answer but nothing would come out. Five seconds later Tom’s hand landed on your cheek.
You gasped, the sting took you by surprise and if you had to be honest no one had ever hit you in your life. The startled whine only made Tom grin.
“I asked you a question.” He said in a warning tone. Once again you were stunned into silence as another heavy hand met the other side of your face in a firm slap.
“Ah, not so mouthy now. Apparently you only know how to use your words when asking for cock” Tom chuckled as he held your jaw now roughly.
Your eyes were tearing up, your mouth open slightly parted in surprise.
“Such a greedy little slut, Mattheo wasn’t enough to satisfy your needs?” He asked making Mattheo grimace in his seat as he watched the exchange. Tom’s hand slid down to pull you in by your throat. His lips moved to your ear so he could whisper out of earshot.
“Think you can handle me doll? You’re not even worthy to suck my dick. So why don’t you prove me you can be a good slut and maybe I’ll consider touching you” he hissed in your ear.
If you were flustered before, you were shocked now. You could barely speak as you struggled to keep from crying. His words hurt, his firm was grip and worst of all he was making you absolutely fucking soaked.
“What did I say about answering me?” He muttered as he pulled you back harshly to look at your face.
“Yes…yes sir,” you managed to squeak out. Tom nodded and shoved you away making you stumble.
“Get on your knees…crawl” Tom said gesturing over to wear Mattheo is sitting. Like a puppet on strings you dropped down to the floor. Mattheo’s nerves were morphed into lust as he watched you crawl over to him slowly. When you reached him, you sat up on the floor. He was sitting on the chair at Tom’s desk, your hands on his knees.
Suddenly you understood that Tom was in charge, you turned back to him. Tom nodded in approval noticing your submission.
“Suck his cock” Tom said. Mattheo sighed softly feeling your fingers working at this pants. He helped you until they were pooled at his feet. His cock was impossibly hard, dripping already.
Mattheo’s hand was gently stroking your red cheek as you licked the tip. Slowly you enveloped the head, letting him fill your mouth. He moaned loudly, eyes fluttering back as you bobbed you head halfway down. Tom stood watching with mild interest.
Tom made his way over, hand threaded in your hair softly at first. Then it balled into a fist and you could feel his tug guiding your movements.
“Surely you can do better than that Y/N” Tom said as he pushed your head down on Mattheo’s cock. You gagged loudly, the thickness filling your mouth and hitting your throat. Mattheo moaned louder as you deepthroated him.
Tom was unrelenting as tears ran down your face, mixing with your saliva. Mattheo began to reach for Tom’s wrist to take it easy on you but Tom gave him a warning look. It didn’t take much else for him to began to move his hips to match your movements, he could help it. Your warm mouth felt so good. As his moans increased, you gagged harder; Tom noticed Mattheo begin to get too close and pulled you off by hair.
You felt your back hit the floor. Mattheo was breathless, gasping in the chair. You looked up to see Tom standing over you, same smirk. It was humiliating, your lips were swollen, back of your head sore from hair pulling and cheeks red. You had the urge to say your safe word until Tom stooped down and held your cheek.
“Good girl,” he said and kissed you roughly. The kiss made you feel light headed, aroused. He bit your lip softly and flicked his tongue against yours. Then he stood leaving you wanting on the floor. Mattheo was undressing.
“Come stand in front of the bed,” Tom said. You got to your feet still in a daze and fully clothed.
“Undress her,” Tom said to Mattheo. Mattheo took no time at all. As soon as he reached you, his hands found purchase on your waist. His kiss was hungrier than Tom’s, needier. You let yourself get lost in it as he slid your dress down to the floor. Hands searching, stroking. He cupped your breasts softly before unlatching your bra. His lips went for your neck but Tom cut in.
“I said undress her. Stop touching her she hasn’t earned it,” he said. Mattheo groaned but backed off. His eyes hungry on you as he knelt and pulled down your panties.
“Move.” Tom said as Mattheo sat on the bed frustrated. Tom didn’t wasn’t any time to cup your pussy. Two fingers sliding into your folds so quickly it made you moan loudly.
“Mm dripping wet and we’ve barely even touched you,” he said as he slid them inside of you. They crooked and found that spongy area making your eyes instantly roll back.
“Pathetic,” he said and pulled them out. You whined and looked up at him, “please” you muttered. Tom only chuckled and shook his head at you.
“How many times has my brother asked you out in the past month?” Tom asked. The question struck you as funny but the look on his face was clearly not joking.
“Um….i don’t know…” you began but the movement of Tom’s hand made you quickly change your tune, “eight….eight times..sir”.
Tom nodded and undid his tie. He placed it around your wrists binding them together. He spun you around and making you face Mattheo were he still sat on the bed. Tom positioned you like a doll. Your tied hands looped around Mattheo’s neck and resting on his shoulders. Slightly bent over as you and Mattheo made eye contact. He leaned over and brushed your lips reassuringly with his, earning a soft smile from you
“Count.” Tom said before you felt his hand land on your ass hard. You cried out, the sting leaving you breathless. Your eyes met Mattheo’s, the pain made your head spin. When his eyes met yours, you felt lust overtake you. His lips found yours in a sloppy kiss.
“One.”
Tom’s hand caressed your ass before another rang out making you whine.
“Two.”
Mattheo’s breath shuddered. His face nuzzled against yours as you winced from another slap.
“Three”.
Tom groaned softly, your obedience making him show his first signarousal of the evening. His hand slid between your legs. Two fingers sliding inside you making you whimper softly. Tom’s voice was low and soft, it barely registered but the words still made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
“Such a good girl” he said as he delivered another firm spank.
“Four!” Your voice was louder and higher. Full of desperation.
Tom’s eyes rose from your reddened bottom to meet Mattheo’s heavy lidded glare that had been locked on your face.
“You can touch her now,” Tom said to him. Mattheo’s hands moved immediately to your breasts to softly cup and flick your nipples. You gasped and whined. His mouth greedily licking and sucking your neck.
“I still want to hear her count,” Tom commanded as he delivered another blow.
“Fi-five,” you found Mattheo’s mouth to kiss him back tongues fighting for dominance. His hand slid down your stomach to softly stroke your clit. The touch was lost from the vibration of another hit making your hips jump forward.
You pulled away from Mattheo’s mouth quickly, “Six”.
As you braced for another slap, Mattheo’s fingers thrummed over your clit again. The sensitive bundle of nerves feeling puffy and swollen from need. Another hit barely registered as the pleasure overtook your body.
“Seven” you whispered. Tom suddenly jerked your head back by your hair, “don’t get greedy”. He said sternly.
The last spank was so hard you groaned, but you made sure he could hear you. Mattheo’s fingers were moving over your nub slick with arousal.
“EIGHT,” you cried. Tom’s fingers slid into your cunt from behind. He immediately found the spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. Relentlessly he punched his digits into it. Mattheo’s fingers worked in union, making you nearly drool onto his lap. Your hips were keening against the movement, your moans were loud and rhythmic.
Tom pulled your head back roughly, “don’t even think about coming without asking”.
“Can I come sir please?”
“Don’t ask me, ask Mattheo” Tom said as his free hand wrapped around your neck.
“Matty, can I come? Please oh fuck can I come?” You were so close your legs were shaking.
Mattheo kept working his fingers over your clit, Tom’s slender fingers deep inside of you as he choked you roughly. Mattheo kissed you deeply, his tongue sliding over yours as your eyes rolled back.
“Come for me pretty girl.” Mattheo said. You let out a nearly guttural noise, your moans rhythmic and heavy. You could feel your cunt squeezing Tom’s fingers making him hum in approval.
“There we go, good slut. Come for us” Tom growled as his fingers didn’t show any sign of slowing. Mattheo’s fingers stilled so he wouldn’t overstimulate you.
“So pretty, so good for me, let go beautiful” Mattheo said as his lips brushed over your whiney cries. Of course, Tom wasn’t easy on you, his fingers relentless moving even faster making the coil in your snap even harder. You squirted onto his fingers as you let out a breathy scream.
“Look how you’re soaking me, what a needy girl, so sensitive” Tom mocked you as Mattheo only caressed your face watching your slack jawed expression with a mix of adoration and amusement.
Tom’s fingers left you, if it wasn’t for your still bound wrists around Mattheo’s neck you would have crumbled to the floor. Mattheo helped steady you, he kissed your neck softly and pulled you close.
“Doing okay?” He whispered in your ear with a smile. You were still gasping trying to come down from your high but you managed a soft yes.
Tom’s hand wrapped around the tie pulling you by your bound wrists off of Mattheo and onto the bed.
“I think you finally earned the right to be used”, Tom said condescendingly as he unbuttoned his shirt.
You watched as Tom began to slowly undress beside the bed. Mattheo was feral, no longer concerned about Tom’s directions or commands. He was on you in bed, pulling your thighs to wrap around his waist. Hitching you into position, his hand moved to pull your face away from watching Tom.
“Ready?” Mattheo asked softly, your face was smeary with bliss as you nodded. You felt the binds on your wrist being attached to the bed post as Mattheo thrusted in bottoming you out immediately. You mewled and arched your back, his hungry movements in time with his loud moans.
“Ah fuck you feel so good princess, look at you taking my cock so well,” he praised you as he thrusted slowly but deeply. Your breasts jiggled and his fingers dug into your waist.
Tom finished securing your binds, his hand finding you jaw pulling it away from Mattheo’s mouth.
“Open,” he said in a husky voice. You eagerly made room for him to stuff his cock into your throat. He was slightly bigger than Mattheo and immediately your eyes water. Tom thrusted into your mouth, at an untethered pace. Your gags and whines mixed as he clung onto your hair guiding the movements.
Mattheo kept rocking his hips into yours, eager to finish after being interrupted earlier. Tom’s head was thrown back, he looked lost in the moment for once. The pleasure abundant, but still Tom managed to choke out, “Not yet,” to Mattheo. Who groaned and cursed reluctantly pulling out of you leaving you on the precipice of a ruined orgasm.
Both of them pulled away from your body twitching with need, you gasped in the air that was now available to you.
“Knees,” Tom said his own panting breath cutting into his usual stern tone. It was hard to do with tied wrists but you managed to get on your knees in the bed. Tom slid himself under you until you were straddling him.
He wasted no time to fill you, pushing your hips down. Mattheo watched with a burn of jealousy as you bounced on Tom’s cock eagerly. Tom kept one hand on your throat as he let out a string of words.
“That’s right, ride my cock like the slut you are. So fucking needy for it, stupid whore.” He muttered as he cursed, his hips snapping to meet yours. You felt the heady lightness fill you as he cut off your airway. You could hear Tom say something to Mattheo but it was garbled to you.
Had you been in a more present state of mind you would have heard Tom say to Mattheo.
“What are you waiting for? She has two holes,” Tom said vulgarly. Mattheo climbed onto the bed, lining up. This time he didn’t completely listen to Tom, he reached over to move his wrist away from your throat so you could pay attention to his question.
“Is this okay?” Mattheo asked you in your ear as he hovered at your tight pink hole. You nodded eagerly, still needing release. Never in a million years would you have thought you wanted something like this but all of your inhibitions flew out the window long ago.
Mattheo spit on his hand lubricating himself before sliding in slowly. The feeling of being filled by both of them overwhelmed you. Your eyes rolled back as you felt your body stretch. Your mouth dropped open and you let out a high pitch whine.
Tom groaned feeling you get tighter, Mattheo was whimpering into your shoulder as he thrusted into your tight ass. Both of them muttering praise to you as they moved inside of you.
“Fucking good girl”
“Taking us so well”.
“So pretty when we use you like this”.
You could barely register who said what as they both rocked into you. The tightness in your hips and cunt spasmed and your entire body stiffened as you came. Hard. They both moaned in approval as they felt your contractions squeezing both of them.
“Let go, let go come on”
“There you go, fuck, so sexy when you come”
“Take it, take it beautiful”.
Then you felt heat. Both of them filling you as a chorus of pants and moans filled the room. You collapsed onto the bed breathless. Mattheo’s strong arms pulling you close. You shuddered and held onto him tight while he whispered praises and sweet nothings. Tom took a moment to compose himself before sitting up and getting dressed leaving you and Mattheo the privacy to do aftercare.
When you finally reached the ground, Mattheo grinned at you.
“How do you feel?” He asked softly stroking a hair from your face.
“Wrecked but amazing” you giggle and bury your face in his chest.
“Be careful what you wish for” he said grinning.
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thebearer · 14 hours
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i need more groveling from cligy carmen!! just the thought of him and reader getting pushed a few steps back bcs of the fight, it's a weird feeling because they're married and have a kid yet now there's this air of caution and careful that was only there when they started dating. reader despite understanding carmen and is willing to forgive him and move past this fight, she's more reserved now, quiet, and kept to herself. there's a different perspective on every little thing she does now; am i talking too much? he's working right now so i shouldn't bother him. she still loves carmen and will do anything to heal their marriage, it was just a harsh and an eye-opening fight for her.
yes yes yes!!!
that’s exactly the vibe.
almost awkward at times. like they’re trying to ignore it but then not but it’s the awkward kinda balance bc it’s like: you can’t ignore it and pretend like it didn’t happen, but he’s apologized and you’ve accepted it, but he still is having to work to regain your trust while also beating himself up bc he feels so guilty about it, and you’re both trying to move past it but it’s this uncertainty of how?? like it’s a foreign thing.
you’ve fought before, but it’s never been that bad, you didn’t have a baby, you’ve never left. slept in separate rooms? yes. gave him the silent treatment? yes. blocked his number when you went to work just so he’d freak out and come find you? immature and a little petty but yes lol.
he really is sorry. he really didn’t mean it. and deep down you know that but also… deep down it really fucking hurt and brought to light your own insecurities and anxieties. genuinely it scared the shit out of carmen and was his wake up call, but it does leave this awkward period.
he wants nothing more than to be the clingiest person on the planet. he wants to wait on you hand and food (acts of service love language carmen engaged lol) but also give you your space because he knows you’re still upset and he doesn’t blame you because he’s upset with himself. so it’s this weird thing of “oh let me do that” while also trying to stay out of your way, but also trying to prove he didn’t mean any of it.
looks like: getting up with teddy any and every time she cries, but when she needs to feed he’s so hesitant to wake you up and bother you that he almost just makes a bottle every time because he feels like a piece of shit for waking you up when you’re tired. usually wouldn’t hesitate to wake you up, let you feed her bc that’s the routine lol? like she needs to be fed, you gotta nurse her, it’s logic. but not now. he’s rambling and mumbling apologies while you’re half awake, trying to feed her. he’s hovering, hesitating between helping you (with what? idk but he feels like he should) and then wanting to give space bc he feels like he’s being annoying.
definitely a you having to initiate things. like you make the first kinda joke that lightens the mood. you cuddle him in bed so he feels like he can. you make a flirty comment that has him blushing and feeling like he can say one back. you kiss him goodnight, hold him in a little longer for a sloppy sort of smooch that has him blushing so hard.
those sort of vibes. once it’s back to normal, he’s good, but it’s getting him there
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winstonsns · 3 days
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hiii! could you do a johnny x reader in which johnny brings the girl he likes to the curtis house and the gang wingman him sorta? (He ends up asking her out and they end up tg?!?!🎀🎀🎀🎀 idk)
put your head on my shoulder (request)
authors note: i’m out of school!! sorry i’ve been replying to asks late, i do them in order of who asked first :3 i hope you enjoy!!
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johnny x reader
word count: 2.5k
warnings: cussing, joke about sex, mentions of abuse and hitting
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johnny and the rest of the gang were walking around town when steve asked, “hey, do y’all wanna go to the diner near that one dairy queen? the one up ahead where it has good hash browns and shit?” they all agree and headed towards the diner.
as they headed towards the diner, johnny couldn’t stop thinking about what he could tell his friends. he wanted them to know about the girl he likes, you, and to maybe get advice from them for what to do about the situation.
when they opened the door to enter the diner, a waiter asked, “hello, i hope you’re having a great day! how many people will be joining us today?” and dally with no hesitation, rudely replied, “the fuck does it look like? count with your own damn eyes.”
the waiter looked down and nodded, soda walked to him and apologized, “sorry about him… we have uh, seven people. thank you.” nodding and smiling at the waiter. he replied but didn’t look back up, “you guys can sit anywhere.” his voice flatter than how it was before, johnny feeling bad for him, knowing how it was to have his day ruined because of one small interaction.
as they passed the waiter, darry chose a booth and they all sat down, steve and soda on the inside of the booth on the left side while pony and johnny were next to them. across from steve was two-bit, darry and dally.
the topic of romantic partners and relationships came up, and johnny thought it was the perfect time to talk about you, just after dally was done talking and trashing on his ex-girlfriend. “man, i just realized sylvia was a fucking bitch, man. she two times me while i was in the cooler, like, who the fuck would think to do that to me?” he shook his head, almost as if he was replying to his own question, “i don’t know, man…”
the others in the booth began to agree, telling him he deserved better. ponyboy looked at johnny, seeing he was trying to say something but kept getting interrupted, so he said, “it’s okay, man. i’ll listen.” and turned his body towards johnny.
he smiled at the younger boy, appreciating that he noticed and observed more than others. blushing, he stated, “well, i’ve been talking to this girl… her name’s y/n and we’ve been hanging out… like, a lot. and she’s real nice, i just don’t know if she likes me—“
dally interrupted, “wait, you’re talking to someone, man? why didn’t you tell us?!!” the whole group started asking him questions, making johnny overwhelmed with too much attention. he muttered, “god, one at a time, man…”
they all started to become quieter, however, two-bit asked, “she a grease or a stuck up prick?” worried that johnny liked someone who wouldn’t be good for him. he hesitantly replied and looked away, “well… she ain’t a greaser but she isn’t stuck up… she’s got money and all that shit, but she’s nice!!”
silence overcame the group, he watched as they slowly started to turn their heads towards each other, wanting someone to say something yet not wanting to be that person. steve decided to speak up and stated, “don’t go for her.”
most of the gang started to agree, johnny feeling ashamed for even opening up to them, but he still really liked you. soda stood up for him, “hey, guys, come on. maybe she’s not that bad, he seems to really like her. you should bring her over to our house, johnny. that way we can meet her, and maybe you dickwads can see how she is before really judging her.”
he smiled at soda, thanking him silently. the gang started to nod and talk amongst themselves, speaking their own ideas to each other. darry stated, “you can bring her over to the house as long as you don’t do anything… bad. soda or someone can help you out, if you need advice for talking to her.”
johnny nodded at him and smiled, grateful for all that the curtis family had done for him. they later ordered their food and it was brought to them, continuing to talk about you and what the plan was if you came over. soda knew the most and had the most experience with girls, he had been in actual serious relationships, unlike dally and the others.
soda and pony would come in and start up a conversation if yours and johnny’s was dying down, eventually wanting to get to the topic of relationships or a vulnerable situation.
the gang had left the diner once they were done with their food, leaving in various ways as to not pay the bill. they walked in the direction of the curtis house, johnny was told to call you and ask you to come over sometime.
when they walked into the house, steve pushed him over to the couch, telling him to grab the phone and call you. johnny looked over to the rest of the gang, seeing them blocking the exits of the room, staring at him intently.
he murmured, “this better work.” and picked up the phone, spinning the dial to call your number that he had memorized. he held the phone up to his ear, hearing your voice and a, “hello? who is this?” his eyes went wide and he tried to keep himself from smiling, his friends quietly cheering him on and laughing softly.
“hey, uh, it’s johnny. do you think you wanna come to my friend’s house tomorrow? i could, um, walk you there. it would be with around six other people, but it’s mostly be us talking— if you’d want that, though.” he asked, his face turning into a shade of red, smiling at how your voice was in his memory.
you exclaimed, “johnnyyy!! i got nervous for a second, didn’t know who it was,” you giggled, “i bet i could go, i hardly have anything tomorrow. walk me there, you’ve been to my house before, you know the way.” he responded, “nice, i’ll be at your house tomorrow around… 2pm? we’d probably only be there around two hours, but um… oh, shoot, i gotta go, sorry. i promise ill be there, talk to you later!!”
you quickly stated, “bye johnnyyy!! i look forward to seeing you tomorrow!!” he hung up fast, he got too nervous when he was talking to you and thought he messed it up. he smiled at them and beamed, “she’s coming tomorrow!!!” all of them starting to talk to each other in happiness, looking forward to seeing you, the girl their friend talked so highly of.
as the day went on, he kept looking forward to being with you, as you wanted to be with him as well. even when he was talking to his friends and you were talking with your parents, you couldn’t stop thinking about each other.
when the day ended, johnny had stayed at the curtis house. he brought a few pairs of clothes, which included his pajamas and the clothes he would be in while he was to be with you. he was in ponyboy’s room, staring at the ceiling, still thinking about what to do when he would see you. ponyboy suddenly asked, “you worried about tomorrow?” and turned his head to johnny.
he thought for a second, not looking at him but stating, “a bit.” he paused, “i don’t wanna mess it up with her, man, she’s amazing…” pony looked into his eyes and knew johnny didn’t want to lose you, pony knew it would go perfectly tomorrow, it was just the way johnny was thinking that was wrong.
johnny fell asleep with you in his mind, and as he woke up, he immediately thought about you. it was in that moment that he realized he really needed that day to go well, he couldn’t handle it if it would go wrong. he got up from pony’s bed and walked into the kitchen, already smelling breakfast, darry, soda and pony already there.
“hey johnny, what took you so long?” soda asked, a little concerned about him. johnny looked to the clock to his left, realizing it was 12pm. he groaned, “shoot, sorry… i didn’t realize it was so late. i should go pick up y/n soon… i really can’t miss it.” putting his head in his hands and murmuring to himself.
he walked to the table and grabbed some breakfast, thanking darry for cooking. he continued talking to the three of them for an hour, he later got up from his chair and headed towards pony’s room, changing into his clothes he would wear to see you.
he walked out and brushed his teeth, talked to pony and his brothers for a few more minutes before the rest of the gang walked into the living room. “you excited, johnny? you guys gonna bang?” two-bit asked, dally laughing at the joke and johnny shaking his head.
“i know you guys just got here, but i gotta pick up y/n. bye.” he ran out of the door and walked in the direction of your house, arriving nearly ten minutes after he left. there was an open gate, seeing a well decorated two story house in front of him.
he looked around before knocking on the door, hearing footsteps and a, “coming!!” before the door opened, showing your happy face and your outfit, well accessorized and well dressed.
he looked at you up and down, thinking you were beautiful. “you look… amazing…” still in shock, not knowing someone could be as good looking as you. you blushed, smiling and him and closing the door behind you, walking towards the curtis house.
“you look real good, too, johnny. you always do.” you complimented, smiling at him. the two of you started up a conversation, still continuing as you got to johnny’s friend’s house. you followed him, watching him open the door and he stated, “don’t be nervous. my friend are real nice.” knowing it was half right and half wrong.
most of the guys were in the kitchen, eating and talking together. johnny introduced you, “this is y/n, she’s my friend i told you about.” you felt a little sad when he said that, wanting something more. and he couldn’t feel worse than how he did when he said that. soda teased, “uh huh, a friend…” the rest of the gang chuckling, you started to blush.
johnny led you to the living room, turning on the television and continuing to talk. he eventually asked if you had dated anyone yet, which you said no to, saying you didn’t think anyone who was up to your standards liked you. he replied, saying he felt the same.
the two of you began to switch the topic and talk about emotional problems that had happened at home or in the past in general. being that vulnerable with each other was something both of you weren’t able to do that often, you had to make people think you were careless yet careful at the same time. johnny didn’t have any reputation to keep up, he just didn’t want to open up to anyone.
as the both of you opened up to each other, he told you about how his parents acted. saying his father would beat him, his parents would yell at him constantly, both hated him. you felt bad, he nearly started to cry, tears forming in his eyes, him feeling embarrassed and biting his lip.
you put your arm around his shoulder and kissed his forehead, telling him, “i’m sorry that happened to you, johnny… you know i’ll always be here for you, right..?” rubbing his shoulder comfortingly and mumbling to him sweet words.
he looked at you with sadness and vulnerability in his eyes, you didn’t know if it was the right time, but you hesitantly leaned towards him. he leaned into you, too, and put his hands on your hips softly, kissing you lightly. when the two of you pulled away and looked to each other, you kissed once again.
then there was silence, one that you didn’t know if you dreaded or not. johnny told you, “i really like you y/n…” then asked, “would you, like, be my girlfriend..?” something he practiced after thoroughly thinking about the flirting signals you would give him.
you exclaimed and smiled with true joy, hugging him and giving him another kiss, telling him ‘yes’ over and over. the rest of the gang were too busy talking to notice the two of you were romantically together now. when it was around 4pm, you told johnny you had to be heading home.
as he walked you back, the two of you held hands and talked about your favorite moments together, times you had tried to flirt with him but he didn’t pick up on it and more.
by the time the both of you were at your house, you thanked him, “thanks for inviting me, talking with you was real fun.. we should do it again sometime. and um, thanks for asking me to be your girlfriend.” he chuckled at the end.
you walked a little closer to him, putting your hands on his chest and giving him a kiss goodbye, waving lowly and walking into your house, locking it behind you.
johnny was ecstatic, the two of you were boyfriend and girlfriend now, and he couldn’t stop smiling as he was walking back to the curtis house. when he opened the door, the whole gang was in the living room, waiting for him to come back.
they asked things like ‘what happened’ ‘did you guys kiss’ ‘are you together’ and more. he smiled widely and stated, “we kissed. and we’re together now too!!” the boys got up and started jumping around, congratulating johnny and cheering for him.
when you were at home, you were calling with your friends and telling them that johnny had asked you to be his girlfriend. they were happy for you, and when you hung up around an hour later, you were still thinking about him. kicking your feet and writing cute letters to him, drawing the two of you as stick figures and hearts around them.
johnny also continued to think about you for days until he saw you again, knowing he was the luckiest guy to ever live because he was with you. he felt a sense of pride, he had done all of that, kissed you and asked you out without any help. he completely ditched the plan and it worked out perfectly.
he would have it no other way.
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authors note: sorry i posted this really late! i took a nap LMAO
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Hii I just discovered your blog through your Sleep Token writings and I just have to say they’re really good!!! I love the way you write the boys especially iv in His Mark. I love when boys are like ‘quietly possessive’ I think it’s cute af.
Sooo which got me thinking about how the other 3 would mark the person they’re interested in/have a crush on..?
Their necklaces? Gift one of their Rings? Secret little gifts? Go slightly stalker mode? Idk but anyway would love to hear and read your writings and thoughts💕
Thank you for reading and being so sweet. I loved writing this🤍✨
Vessel
As I said, he is a quiet type of possessive in my eyes. His whole persona screams that he doesn’t need words if he wants to be intimidating. And while he’s calm about you interacting with other people for the most part, the moment he changes his mind or has enough with someone trying to shoot their shot with you, he is up and slowly walking your way.
His claim on you is in form of lovebites. Try to convince me that the boy is not into biting. That’s part of his love language. So a bruise on your neck or collarbones keeps all the lurkers away. He gets more creative in places that others might not get to see. But I wholeheartedly believe that he’s out there creating love hearts from his kisses on your thighs. Your skin is a canvas for him.
But he’s also pretty touch-starved so if there’s only the closest people on the team there he is holding your hand. Through it all. No matter what he is doing his palm is extended towards you and he won’t be settling until you either wrap your hand around his finger - that would make the wires in his brain spark - or just feel your much smaller hand pressed against his palm. So by all means most people would be more than aware that you’re his and his only.
III
Our little firecracker. He is a lot more expressive with his emotions so if this man feels like someone is getting a bit too close to ya, I would suggest that person looks over his shoulder for a day or two. All 6’4 of him that’s my lucky guess on his height would love it when you wore his clothes and found ways to incorporate something that is his into your outfit
A shirt of his you liked when you were on a date? Say no more. You would find it casually left in a place you would no doubt see it. Still smelling of him. A new hoodie the band was working on putting out? “Model it, baby, it looks better on you regardless”.
And now I imagine how he would halt when he saw you in his clothes for the very first time and how this need to see you in them was fueled. He’s trying to make breakfast. Simple pancakes that he had googled a recipe for. Part of him wants to make it special somehow cause it’s the first night that you have stayed over. He doesn’t hear you walking downstairs because he’s too focused on the amount of flowers he needs to use and the chunks that are forming. It is the light chuckle that slips past your lips that has him nearly throwing the spatula your way.
And then his whole body freezes, face going blank as he drinks in the sight of you. “I can change, I just didn’t find any of my clothes”, a light panic sets into you, not wanting to cross boundaries there might be. But III is quick to put everything that he’s holding and within a heartbeat, one of his arms is sneaking over your middle as he swiftly lifts you. You let out a surprised scream as he effortlessly places you on the counter. The biggest grin on his face.
“Do you know how good you look?”, his arms are on either side of you as he leans forward. “iii, I just woke up… my hair…”, you giggle but he cuts you off with a shake of his head, “Is perfect, you are perfect”, he leans in brushing his lips over yours, “Especially in my clothes, fuck me”, his hands move to run beneath the hem of the shirt, massaging your hips with slow circles.
II
He will forever be a secret to me. There’s something so mysterious about him. At times I feel like my INFJ ass can see right through him but then I’m like maybe I am so wrong. 😂
I feel like in a similar way to Vess, he doesn’t go around throwing punches if someone is standing too close to you for his liking. Cause similar to Vess there’s that sense of threat in someone’s silence. He’s a lot more private about his personal life even with people he loves and his affectionate side only comes out behind closed doors.
So if he wanted to mark you it would probably be something small. He wouldn’t go all flashy. Maybe a necklace he wears for most of the shows. Or a little II pendant on a chain. *cue TS I want to wear his initials on the chain around my neck* type of shit. He would love it too. Pulling at the chain ever so slightly when he wants to kiss you. Or simply when he needs a distraction. Slowly calming his racing mind.
I think it’s with quality time and gestures of love that he would show just how much he cares. So if you need a way to calm yourself his shirt is off, he’s laying on his stomach and you sit there, straddling his lower back as you color in his tattoos. He doesn’t let anyone touch them except you. And even if the pattern stays the same he still enjoys seeing the different color combinations you come up with. His little artist.
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mary-laib · 3 days
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I've seen a lot of people say that Mordecai is ocd and idk if Tracy has said something about it yet, but I feel like outside of people who are ocd or know a lot about the disorder, most people say it bc of what mainstream media has to say about it. But let me pose you an alternative: ✨Autism✨
As an autistic person who works with multiple ocd people, let me tell you that ocd≠organized. From my understanding, ocd is more of a compulsion-based disorder such as checking your locks multiple times, repeating words or phrases, and counting in certain patterns. Some of this can lead to being more neat and organized, but it is also just as often not the case. Autism can often be more driven by symmetry than ocd, though with less anxiety reactions.
As a neurotic autistic person who gets upset when things are not symmetrically placed on shelves or on counters and works with ocd people who constantly leave stuff wherever for days on end, but happen to be good at counting and making sure that reminders are made when things are bothering them, it is hell here.
Actually let me go off the rails for a second and complain about the disorganization of these people (and before I get accused of "mimicking" Mordecai, let it be known that I just got into Lackadaisy and have been complaining about this stuff since July of last year. I just like him because he's relatable):
• I have a huge issue with cans not being stacked forward and the labels not facing the correct way and empty boxes being left on shelves. I also hate it when cans are not the exact same size so when you stack them, you can never get them all exactly lined up at the top. I go into Walmart and organize their shelves, that's how big of an issue I have with this stuff.
• At the registers, I have very particular spaces that I keep everything so that everything is mostly hidden and all the square/rectangle-shaped items we have are pressed together like a tetris set. I will spend hours at the register minutely changing fhe exact setup and making sure everything is neat and lined up, including the pens.
• I like keeping my aquatics station organized with the nets neatly in the sink and tilted to the back so they're not hanging over the counter, all paperwork folded neatly on my little drawer set and underneath the cup where I keep my pens, markers, and thermometer, my square fish-catching cups stacked neatly against the wall, and blackbag folded between the faucet and the wall while I'm not using it. I keep my chemical bottles organized based on purpose (ex. Medical in back, plant food in middle, and contirioner/chamical water adjusters in front.
• In the wellness room, I like to keep carts and terariums pushed neatly against the wall, often between shelves. It there's space between the item and one of the shelves, I like to push it against one and find something that will neatly fit in between on the other side.
• It annoys me that the organization system in place is mostly just people throwing things on shelves and organizing them by wide categories, rather than neatly sorting things together based on stricter categories. Like instead of putting all the aquatic stuff mixed together on one shelf, we could be putting food to one side, then filters, then thermometers, then decor, etc.
• Everyone also moves stuff around way too much. Like just put stuff back where you found it. Why am I constantly having to move stools back to their designated sections from the same spot. Why do you need 3 stools for one area???
• Can we maximize space? Why are 10 pallets of new inventory on the floor when you can scoot them into one area, organize them based on what place they belong in the store and then move those boxes neatly onto the end of the aisle they belong? Most of what we have is food anyways, so if we can get boxes out of the way, that leaves room to take those pallets off the floor and those boxes can get done so much quicker so we can get them out of the way.
I'll edit as I find more things to complain about.
Edit:
Ignore the bad line work and weird perspective, but when I say that I value symmetry, this is what I mean:
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Things need to line up together
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Do you have a headcanon that you like so much that you practically automatically include it when you think of the character the headcanon is about?
i will try to list a few, as i remember best when i trigger an associated memory (i think-- i'd like to think my memory still works 🤣).
tbh i held off on answering this since i can't think of a good hc from the top of my head hahaha
it's not going to be substantiated by historical texts or information since i have very limited knowledge in those areas. these are silly little hcs i inferenced from the most random places.
Patroclus:
- he has very nice names for his dogs. he thinks of each one very well as he walks back to camp after rescuing the animal from destruction. he constantly thinks about it, and of course they have meanings, but i'm unfortunately not greek so i can't dive deeper into that :') something like "child of vast plains" (one word) as in free. like his wishes for each dog. "never suffering a lack of", such and such. depending on his observations of each dog's personality.
- tired dad but also playful piece of shit uncle vibes.
- i like to think he genuinely enjoys the adrenaline of high stakes (gambling- which totally started as a joke because i saw a post saying he 'killed a boy over dice #gamblingaddiction') but doesn't participate much when the soldiers play because he has his dutiful side lol. when he decides to come out and participate, he keeps winning.
- voice smooth as honey and chocolate but he's a little tone deaf.
※ also, grey eyes patroclus truther over here. and that he probably got his medical talents from his mother, whoever it was.
Achilles:
- stays in his tent most of the time. the longer the war went on, the more he closed himself off, save for a few of his own men and his close friends (patroclus, antilochus, automedon, ajax, teucer...) he does get out for celebrations but he tends to get sick of merrymaking easier than others so he retires early. would complain to patroclus about several things in his day as they tend to their body pains and weapons/armor maintenance. this says a lot about my general impression of his personality. i don't need to spell out that i think he's dramatic lol
- has a green right eye and a deep black left iris (from thetis). i made this on accident with a sketch but i really like the idea of him being *slightly* unsettling when they see him the first time instead of a flawless blonde child. sure he still is, but i'd like in-universe characters to have more of a reason to not approach him. and well... pay thetis a little bit of tribute hahaha. i deleted other appearance hcs for him and patroclus, realizing i can just add those when i post my wip character design sheets. but here's a zoomed shot of his face as a 12 year old:
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- likes theater. would have tried for it himself if he didn't have to be a warrior. has made several songs throughout his life especially in childhood but has never documented them. forgets them in the morning.
Odysseus:
- nearsighted. idk if there's anything to prove this otherwise, but i just slapped it on him. he doesn't recognize people super easily by their faces, but he goes by other things instead like height or voice, or their most prominent features. that's also how he hunts or kills. he doesn't really know this ofc, and has just been doing it his whole life. now he doesn't know his son's face very well, so i'd like to add this to the moral dilemma of throwing astyanax off the wall more than it already is.
- short king idk 5'1". 5'2" if he's wearing shoes hehe. has the same height with penelope. telemachus is 5'3" (without shoes). the genes are improving!
Menelaus:
- diomedes and odysseus second father figure. this probably has a lot of contradicting evidence, but let me sit with the funny image that it started as a joke at first then they found menelaus just has very basic dad instincts. has, on many nights, gotten drunk and cried about helen leaving him.
- has to watch his blood pressure (sorry).
Diomedes:
- values the concept of family higher than most. he doesn't spell it out in the open of course, but it's one of the things that sets him apart as well.
※ so i took a break, got curious about diomedes and looked up his future after troy. that hc does not bode well with his wife's status after his return 💀
Pyrrhus:
- has red hair (sometimes a "duh" moment for me considering his name is literally fire-haired/red-haired; I've seen blonde depictions of him).
- 5'6". slightly taller than average, but shorter than his father because his god blood is more diluted than.
- very cold and steadfast when he first showed up. i want to believe that he was not that all throughout. he learned to commune with other soldiers, although awkward and unsure. somehow, he became like another achilles; the youngest of the soldiers, the man who would spearhead the attack by proposing the idea of the trojan horse (i read somewhere it was him, and then some say odysseus, some say both). he would look quizzically at handshakes but would accept. he'd be so confused by whooping and hugging and cheering after battle, but didn't resist the warmth of it. he unfortunately didn't have time to explore that side of life before he died.
i think i'll end it there 🤣 i'm not that well-acquainted with other characters, but you yourself wrote about automedon and balius and xanthus being tamed by patroclus, so i also believe that now actually.
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kingv-theruler · 2 years
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TW
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ywpd-translations · 3 months
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Ride 768: Doubashi attack!!
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Pag 1
1: Orange....
“Less of a hero”? Ah!?
2: Nonsense!!
You've never been a hero to begin with!!
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Pag 2
1: Ha..... Hakogaku!!
Even Hakogaku caught up!!
2: Thick.... thick.....
3: A man like this holds the strongest of powers!!
6: I'm thin compared to him!!
That's not true, Oosumi-kun!!
7: Senpai, is he strong?
The Hakogaku member who last year defeated Sohoku's Kaburagi in the first day's sprint is
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Pag 3
1: him, Doubashi Masakiyo!!
Buah!!
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Pag 4
2: Buah...
So in the end you've decided to run?
3: “Chicken”
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Pag 5
1: We're passing by the sign the signals 5km until the sprint line!!
2: Hakone Academy.....!!
3: Ace sprinter, Doubashi!!
Ugh.....
6: We're at “5km left” until the sprint
7: There's not much left
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Pag 6
1: It won't take more than “10 minutes”!!
2: So you've come, Doubashi!!
It's “san”!!
San!!
How many times have I told you!!
3: Again!!
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Pag 7
1: You want to get revenge against me!!
2: That's how someone who won last year would speak, but you lost against me!!
3: Hahaha, are you being a sore loser?
I'm telling you you're the one who lost!!
4: Whatever, come at me!!
It's not whatever, what are you even thinkin when saying that!!
Are you that self confident
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Pag 8
1: We'll definitely win!!
2: Interesting, buah!! I came here to humble you!!
4: Ugh....
He's different.....!! He's much more dangerous now that he's running rather than when I met him this morning in the tent!!
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Pag 9
1: Hakone Academy's Doubashi!! He's so overwhelmingly intimidating!!
It's like the pressure of a huge raging bull that has its eyes on you!!
2: Just by looking at me he makes me feel like my hands and feet are restrained
Issa fought against someone like him last year!?
4: No!!
5: Calm down
Steady your breathing
6: Swallow your nerves, Danchiku Ryuuhou!!
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Pag 10
1: He moved on his own!!
Everyone is so overpowered by Hakogaku that they're not moving!!
For me, on the contrary
2: It's a chance!!
Nagoya's Komao used the curve and jumped ahead
He plans on going ahead alone!!
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Pag 11
3: The sprint line is 5km from here!!
Horse acceleration!!
I think I can aim for a breakaway victory!!
4: That guy has a reputation for running solo!!
Gallop!!
This is bad!!
5: Doubashi has an incredible pressure!? But isn't this kind of things
6: just fears that we create ourselves!?
7: I can keep going like this!!
Doubashi isn't worth fearing!!
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Pag 13
1: Where are you going?
3: Uaaaaaaagh
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Pag 14
1: I thought I was 200m ahead of him, and yet
2: I could have let you go freely, but if you keep wandering around in front of my eyes like that
3: I can't win comfortably!!
Wa-
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Pag 15
1: Hakogaku's Doubashi accelerated in an instant and passed Nagoya!!
Gallop!!
2: Together with Sohoku!!
3: Ah!? “Sohoku”!? Tch!! He reacted at the same time as me...?
4: You're the only one who can react at the same speed as me in this leading pack
Orange!!
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Pag 16
2: Chicken!!
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Pag 17
2: Orange is still behind!?
3: Did he give an order to this guy?
4: And he still managed to keep up with my speed of reaction!?
6: What, this guy's eyes, this running
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Pag 18
1: What happened, your expression has changed!!
So this guy wasn't a chicken!!
2: Sorry, Doubashi-san
We'll take this sprint
3: The two of us!!
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Pag 19
1: Garuaagh
2: After stopping Nagoya down, Sohoku number 5 jumped out from there
3: and attacked again!!
Tch
4: Hahaha
I told you!!
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Pag 20
1: “We'll definitely win”!!
2: Orange!!
Hahaha, what we're aiming for is to be
3: “Japan's number one”!!
4: I'll make you Japan number two!!
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plposting · 1 year
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After Azran Legacy Descole was left with a lot of clothes, personal items, and various souvenir trinkets left behind by the other former passengers of the Bostonious none of which was ever properly retrieved due to the groups sudden parting.
Rather than throwing it all out Descole has been trying to covertly return all items back to their original owners and because it’s Descole he’s probably returning the objects and whatnot in the most complicated way possible over a period of time.
Auroras stuff in particular remains safely stored in a box on the Bostonious.
#professor Layton#jean descole#desmond sycamore#gens musings#wowie headcanons :)#azran legacy#i was thinking about how everyone in the bostonious crew was suckered into buying one of those popono souvenirs#and how Des was ultimately left with a hoard of them because there's no way that anyone got to properly collect their stuff#before having to rush off to the Azran sanctuary#thoroughly amused by the thought of Des trying to offload some of this stuff for way longer than needbe bc hes trying to be sneaky about it#like maybe he could just throw it away but absolutely has this lingering sense of guilt especially with more of the personal items#that would've belonged to the various members that he would now have context for#like idk Des is just standing over the trash with like a teddy bear that Luke owns n he cant bring himself to properly toss it#and raymonds like why dont we just mail them back#n des is like “akshdkajshdkjahsdkhasdk its stupud little beady little eyes have won this encounter- u win this time sir cuddles-”#“had i not known the context of your origins you would have been in a landfill by now”#wonder if emmy wouldve gotten any photos developed on their trip bc oooh the evil thought of des having to review them b4 sending them back#I think there was no attempt to toss auroras stuff at any point i think the guilt would actually kill him#most of her stuff would just comprised of souvenirs gained over the trip#HELP HELP HELP I ELABORATED TOO MUCH IN THE TAGS SORRY
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needylittlegirl · 14 days
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crying is so stupid sometimes like pull yourself together whore
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lilaccatholic · 7 months
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how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?
#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk#i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting#it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like#ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing#the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more#i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy#but i dont know how to get there#and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me#all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself#i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do#anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol#im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM#lilac rambles
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puppyeared · 1 month
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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yonpote · 2 months
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ok i literally only did two prompts but thats it for now i will get to the ones in my inbox tomorrow ✌️✌️
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islanddboyy · 1 month
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hate when my dad calls me kiddo. love when my coach calls me kid
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todayisafridaynight · 2 months
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What do you think Mine’s reaction to Masato / Aoki be like?
tbh they'd probably be. amicable. at the very least.
#snap chats#like they have similar values its just that mine's more openly depressed about his belief system and doesn't take pride in it like aoki#i talked about this before omg thats so funny... but yeah no aoki's more proud of 'how the world is'. prob cause he's 'on top' of it#mine begrudges the fact he needs material goods to be useful to people#meanwhile aoki's happy to exploit others if it means he advances. for the most part anyway#he only really starts to show some regret when confronted by ichi. and get the shit kicked out of him for twenty minutes#wait i was rewatching the cutscene and started to throw up cause i got reminded of me in high school again aoki you're 42 stop this#Back On Track Though. mine and aoki had similar pursuits: attain power to be loved thats the core of it in simple terms#they went about it differently ofc: for mine money was power and for aoki popularity was power. Both Very True TBH but anyway#mine realized that even with money his person wasnt valued#and aoki realized that even with recognition people didn't value his character. sins the arakawas. fcukin dummy#i mean aokis a jackass so no wonder but thats not the point of this. fuckfest of tags#they wouldnt be friends. aoki's incapable of friendship and mine would probably quickly recognize aoki as being power hungry#i think mine's been in enough business meetings And Knows Enough About Politics to recognize Professional Fakerism when he sees it#actually do you think mine'd be swindled by any 'kindness' aoki expressed like when kanda left him and he thought he just went to get help.#that shit was wack LMAO BUT REGARDLESS idk i have to go to class soon so im not gonna spend too much time thinking of this#if they needed to they'd just use each other for whatever purpose they needed the other for. idk why mine would need aoki tho#TLDR mine probably wouldnt think too differently of aoki compared to any other power-hungry freak#we can revisit this topic when. im not learning about JP history vjERJALKJ
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a-passing-storm · 1 year
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Those were the big things, but I--OH MY GOD WAIT! Also, the way The Last Wish very plainly but not obnoxiously talked about toxic masculinity and how it’s good and okay to be vulnerable with other people and ask for help and be scared. Like! Oh My God!
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