#and if i did move out id move to a different country so thats just fucking with my mind soo much

[peterrrei]

I saw you said you were watching g gundam and liking it!! what do you think abt it so far, what is resonating abt it with u? it’s one of my fav shows and means a lot to me so im always excited to see someone else enjoying g fighter. I always feel like despite its silliness there’s a lot more There than ppl give credit for but that’s just my experience

hi!! thank you for this question!!

first of all, i only watched 19 episodes so im almost halfway through it. im really enjoying it! and i love seeing a similar art style to victory gundam ❤️ it gives me major afternoon cartoons on tv vibes… (idk if thats the case for other countries, but italy’s tv has so. much. anime. typical early afternoon of my childhood would consist of dragon ball z - early one piece - sailor moon - and some other 90s anime)

as im getting older i’ve realized more and more just how much seeing media created with passion moves me. id say that ive put my“critical” eye on the background. although of course i can be critical depending on whqt i have in front of me 🤷🏼 but g gundam just hypes me so much! some aspects feel very stupid sometimes (my bf always question “where did the shining gundam pop out from? it was just there waiting to be activated?” WHO CARES LETS GO WITH THE VIBES!!!!) but it has so much goodness. first of all, it’s pretty! not even just the art style, but the direction in general is very well done and interesting and it’s clear that the people who made it are cinema lovers. that i just admire so much!

it’s a good and interesting story that keeps you engaged. im amazed that it is sold as “the au gundam that has a fighting competition with all countries being represented by a gundam made of stereotypes” like… okay. but then it’s just not. that. well i can imagine there might be more focus on the competition later in the story but it went to kinda monster (country?) of the week to a manhunt to a martial arts movie to etc. theres so much variety and it flows SO WELL.

so yeah… i like the characters. cant wait to see more of kyoji (well i have suspicions that he is SXXXXXX… and i love that. i love chibodee and his girlies. i love RAIN and i was so 👀👀👀 during the episode with her ex. i thought master asia was a completely different character before watching the show. i like being surprised and this show makes me feel like a kid :3

[seyvetch]

A vent post of things that have been on my mind lately

I want to fucking die ;-; (I have no plans to act on that just need to vent)

Ffs everything is just getting harder, people can leave me at any time like the person I loved the most who left me a month ago and Im becoming a worse person and I wasnt that amazing in the first place. Everything is just going worse, I barely have hope for future and I cant even feel love properly anymore. Im overwhelmed by minimal ammount work I used to be able to handle and unsure I could even work to get money to sustain myself.

Almost all that I feel is despair anger and apathy. Last time I tried to medicate it caused me great loss of appetite and I almost starved to death bc I couldnt eat. At this point I just want my life to end. I dont know how Im supposed to live in Russia like this nor do I know how to escape it.

3 people who Ill eternaly be greatful to said they would be willing to let me stay with them if I wanted to escape Russia but problem is: one broke all contact with me cuz the host got themself a boyfriend so apperently they didnt like I had a relationship with their sysmate, one ghosts me for some reason despite actively reblogging my posts and me seemingly being on good terms with them when we talk and the 3rd one lives in Germany - a country which language of I dont know still.

Well even if I stayed with any of them Id probably just ruin my relationship with them. Im not that great in person.

One other thing thats been on my mind is the first person I talked about in the list of people who offered me to stay with. I loved them more than anyone probably. More than myself certainly. I thought we were soulmates. I just cant get over them no matter how much I try not to care. They even appear in my dreams though its more like nightmares of rejection. Why did it have to go this way. Is it bad that I still have hope everything will work out? Its probably futile. Im blocked instantly any time I tried to reach them. Whats the most cruel is how the breakup went it wasnt even them to my knowledge who broke me up with them it was their host or another sysmate despite the previous promise that I could still date them. I dont even know how they feel about the breakup. Maybe it was them and they got tired of me. Ill never know bc I havent recieved as much as a goodbye before being blocked. Not as much as a word. I only know that they have a boyfriend bc I looked at their tiktok in trying to decypher why I was left like that :/.

Whatever the painll probably go away with time. What wont go away is my disabilities which are getting harder to deal with in terms of my productivity. Its only getting worse. I can barely make myself do the minimum required of me. How will I find the job? How will I get enough money to move to a different country before I cant leave Russia anymore? Could I leave Russia now if I had money? Would that even be possible? Is it already too late? Had I never had a chance to escape?

No matter how I look at it all I can see in my future is being alone stuck in this hellhole of a country which will only get wose and more authoritarian with time. And then if Im lucky another revolution will happen and devistate what remains of the country leaving the poeple maybe not as oppressed but left in poverty just like the horror stories my parents told me of what happened last time a revolution occured.

Everyone will just leave me behind no matter what I do. It always happens. Its just the matter of time.

Well we will see how it turns out but for now all I can do is to move forward.

[dausy]

Still hanging out in our hotel. Despite my husband saying he feels cooped up we sure have been out and about a lot. I havent bothered to pull a watercolor set or sketchbook out of the car. It just feels like too much effort. I have GoW Ragnarok in the car too but same thing..too much effort.

I wanted to doodle something christmas related but Im apparently not in a christmassy mood. We a started watching the tv show 1883 yesterday because my mom warned me Tim Mcgraw was hot in it and I needed to see and she was right. So I doodled majestic lion guy and thats about all the creativity that I have in my bones. I dont know, in order to draw I need peace and good lighting and my own personal space and I cant get that here.

Ive applied to a couple jobs and even got a text back (which Ive never seen before) telling me they forwarded my resume. But it is really hard to apply for jobs on a phone or ipad. I packed my laptop but I packed it too well. Its smooshed underneith a bunch of things in the car and I cant get to it.

Otherwise we've been to a couple farmers markets. When we lived in columbus I said I hated living on a border city. Like it kinda makes me nauseous because people from Georgia and alabama might as well be from different countries but now Im on the border of Mexico and New Mexico and it is..interesting. But this little farmers market had this baker and Im all about the french cafe pastries lifestyle..one of the best crescents Ive ever had. I could have died. And the area was actually very aesthetic too for having broken trailers and chickens. I would totally go back another weekend when we are done scoping out other empty calories.

Theres a few other french bakeries in the area I want to try.

Also hit up the local rock wall gym. I love that its private and will be 5 minutes from our house when we move in. The gym is in another building behind it. And then this post has the fanciest on post shopping center Ive ever seen including a starbucks. My only regret is is there doesnt appear to be free yoga classes. There is another massive rockwall gym in the new part of town that we havent been to yet. It does apparently have a fitness center and yoga classes included in price. I would love to go (sorry local empty gym) but its like 800$/yr and I need to be several paychecks deep to think of signing up for that.

We also did a local escape room with some buddies who live here and they've never done one before. It was a good first one too. We had to escape a mental asylum and the doors would shake and scream. Was fun.

My only plans today are Id like to hit up the major mall in the area..probably wont happen..we may go climbing this morning first but we are scoping out daycare/boarding facilities for our dog in the future. Everyplace here has requirements that make me feel like Im sending her off to a private boarding school.

I still havent been to the local art store either but I was kinda waiting til we moved into our house.

[fuglyjeans]

1-35 faggot

Yay ❤️thanks fag ❤️

1. are you beating the uhaul allegations?

I moved across the country to live with my gf after 2 years long distance. So, kinda? We only visited each other I think 6 times before the move. Idk if that's fast or not

2. Do you identify as butch, femme, masc, and/or gnc?

I've been considering the label femme. I find a lot of joy through playing with makeup and fashion, and my style is very girly.

3. How did you realize you were Sapphic?

When I was a teen I always in the back of my head kind of thought yeah I'd do a girl. But that's cause of my sin nature! Then during college I fell in love with my best friend(thats u 42069gay), lost my faith... then tried to date some men but every interaction made me want to rip my eyeballs out. I started to ID as a lesbian after a date with this guy that went really well, but I just felt so uncomfortable thinking about becoming his girlfriend. We hugged goodbye and I felt so scared of the idea of him kissing me. I cried all the way home on the train... and that's when I knew in my bones. i was lesbo

4. Who is/was your most intense Sapphic crush?

My gf! :3

5. Do you consider yourself a dyke?

Umm ig that depends how you mean it, I'm not sure if that's a label I'm allowed to use tbh. I'm a lesbian. I'm not masc, but I rise and put my right hand over my heart when anyone mentions dykes supporting fags.

6. Are you good at picking up when people are flirting with you, or do you tend to be more oblivious?

I can definitely tell, but my anxiety causes me to second-guess it.

7. Have you ever crushed on a straight girl?

There was this girl I went to church with during my college years, who started making out with me whenever we got drunk. (That shit kind of hurt 😕)

8. What's your relationship status? Are you happy about it?

I'm in a long-term relationship 💕 Our 4 year anniversary is next week, and I'm very happy.

9. Do you have a "type"? If so, what is it?

I've always been most attracted to women who are very feminine, but have some kind of odd or punk edge. women with bangs energy I guess. Brittany Murphy, Bjork, Lady Gaga, SZA, Kathleen Hanna. etc

10. Did you do anything gay as a kid that makes sense when you look back on your childhood?

There was this time in middle school when I was sleeping over at my friend's house. we were lying side-by-side in her bed, tracing circles on each other's backs and I got super turned on. She kind of prepositioned me in a joking way and I flipped out, but for years afterwards I wished I had reacted differently and fantasized about how that night could have gone. I have no idea how I didn't realize this was very gay

11. What are some good Sapphic songs/music artists?

Chappell Roan is my fave. Bikini Kill, Lady Gaga and Hayley Kiyoko r also very special to me. Also check out suspected lesbian Connie Converse she's so cool. Here's 3 random wlw songs I love too: -> Kissing Lessons by Lucy Dacus -> Don't Try Suicide by Team Dresch -> Pynk by Janelle Monae

12. Good Sapphic books/poems/authors?

I'm the worst for this bc I don't read enough :( but: -> The Color Purple by Alice Walker ->The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall ->My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness by Kabi Nagata

13. Good Sapphic movies/shows?

-> Revolutionary Girl Utena -> Portrait of a Lady On Fire -> But I'm a Cheerleader -> Heavenly Creatures -> Jennifer's Body -> Steven Universe sorryyy

14. List five things you look for in a partner or five things you love about your current partner.

1. Her honesty. Our biggest strength is communication 2. Her creativity and excellent taste in all kinds of art. She reminds me not to worry about the things I can't control!! Which I really need. Repeatedly 3. She doesn't believe in cringe; she's the most non-judgemental person I know. 4. When we get delusional and insane over the same character 🫶💕

15. Are you the gay cousin?

Yes lmao and the gay sister and the gay aunt.

16. Do you consider being Sapphic a big part of your identity?

Yes very much so!

17. How many people have you dated? Talk about them if you want!

Like 2. I have really bad social anxiety and was a totally weird late bloomer. I went on a few different dates but only *dated* one person before I met my s/o. It was super awkward, she was sweet but we were both very inexperienced and shy and I guess there just wasn't enough chemistry. we kind of hung out for 6 months, never kissed or made anything official, then I moved out of state and we ghosted each other... v awkward time but I do have some fun memories

18. Thoughts on e-dating or long distance? Have you ever done it? How did it go?

I totally support it. I think anonymity is what some of us need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable... I met my partner on tumblr, it was the only place I felt safe being my whole cringey self at the time. I always used to think it was weird to date someone you've never met, but once I found her I said what the hell, I have nothing to lose. Luckily it went well!! It's unconventional, but so is everything about my life.

19. describe your fashion sense. do you "dress gayly"?

I would say no, most people assume I'm straight. I have a somewhat basic wardrobe... My fashion sense is much campier and more colorful than my wallet allows.

20. do you consider yourself to be a good kisser?

I have no idea. I try my best

21. are you generally "out" to people?

Most of the time I try to be. I'm not out at work, because the vibe there is rather conservative (like, Bible tracts on the wall) so I don't feel safe just telling anyone.

22. how do you feel about valentine's day?

I like it a lot more, now that I'm no longer an adult virgin :)

23. do you like being referred to with masculine adjectives, feminine adjectives, both, or neither?

She/her I'm very cis

24. thoughts on marriage?

I like the idea of having a ceremony, but I don't know if I'd want to be legally married. I would need to read up on the ramifications of that a bit more.

25. have you ever gone to a pride parade?

yes! I marched in my hometown once, and I went to Boston Pride in 2019. I haven't been to any since but I mean to

26. do you read yuri manga?

nope

27. do you fit any sapphic stereotypes / other stereotypes related to your identity?

I have short fingernails and too many cats

28. what's a canon sapphic ship you enjoy?

Petra Solano x Jane Ramos, from Jane The Virgin. It wasn't the best written imo, BUT I'm just a huge Petra fan, and I was so happy to see her find gay love.

29. how about a non-canon sapphic ship?

Hinata Hyuga x Sakura Haruno from Naruto. I will die on this hill. They would be so soft and encouraging for each other. I used to be so fucking invested in this, it was all I would ever draw in my sketchbooks

30. who's your favorite sapphic character?

Anthy Himemiya. She's just. a kaleidoscope of trauma and love and bitterness. also, this isn't canon but I truly truly see Bev Keane from Midnight Mass as a lesbian. She just reminds me too much of myself when I was younger and I feel for her and I love her lots

31. LEAST favorite sapphic character?

Molly Bolt from Rubyfruit Jungle. I guess she's not that bad, but I just fucking hated this book

32. tell a funny story about something really gay you've done.

convinced myself I was in a queerplatonic relationship so that I wouldn't have to confront the fact I wasn't straight

33. do you get crushes/fall in love easily?

not really, I've only had a small handful of those experiences

34. who's a sapphic person you look up to? they can be someone in your life, a historical figure, a celebrity, etc!

Lady Gaga. She's so smart and so weird and so HERSELF. even when I disagree with something she does/says, I appreciate her sincerity and her gumption.

35. if you could tell your younger sapphic self anything, what would it be?

Girl you are allowed to trust your gut. Your feelings are holy, don't hold yourself hostage. If there is a God, and if he really is loving, he wouldn't want that for you.

[skyburger]

oh my goddddd it makes me so mad that i am pretty much doomed to live in the united fucking states of america for the rest of my life because i seriously do not want to learn to drive. like it makes me so fucking anxious i get anxious on STAIRS how am i supposed to fucking drive. but because we live in the worst place on earth theres no other option. like i cannot afford ubers everywhere nor is there fucking public transportation. and like moving out of the country would be a hassle at best and undoable at worst from reasons ranging from "i use a lot of electronics / computers / video game consoles often and i do NOT want to deal with different power outlets / voltages again" (i lived overseas for 5 years and it was hell to get any consoles set up. but like im not fucking re-buying all my games and a british wii instead its a lose-lose) to "some of my medication (mostly adderall) is straight up not legal in most countries so that severely limits my options". hell on fucking earth! i do not want to live in this wretched country i genuinely do not like it here but anywhere else i would like to live usually has adderall as an illegal drug. like here are my top picks for where i would live if i could live overseas no problems (in no particular order):

japan. good public transportation, i speak some of the language and am working on learning more. however adderall is illegal there so it's out of the question

germany. good public transportation, i speak some of the language & am working on learning more, plus i have german citizenship which saves a lot of hassle. adderall is also not legal here so it's out of the question

england. have lived there before, good public transportation, have family i know and love there. adderall is legal here! however i already lived in england 5 years and i kind of dont really want to go back. like its a lovely country! id just rather live somewhere new u know

canada. adderall is legal here and i obviously speak english. however the public transportation situation i hear is pretty much the same (maybe SLIGHTLY better) so like whats the fucking point its a whole hassle for really no benefit

and like even if i DID move to england or canada. i think i'd have to get it re-prescribed and like it was enough of a hassle the first time i know theyre gonna want me to try every other adhd medication before i get adderall back like Please. i already spent years trying them all and this is the only one that works for me. so my current options (at least in my mind) are this:

live overseas and just have someone mail me my prescription. however this is very illegal and i would risk going to jail for this for up to five years in germany and up to ten in japan (and potentially being deported in the latter!), not to mention the possibility of being fined instead of or as well as that

stay in the US and continue to take my meds legally. and just Suffer. best case scenario if i can SOMEHOW afford to live somewhere walkable (a city probably) then i can do that

learn to drive. absolutely not happening! i am too much of a nervous nelly

like i seriously dont want to have to work out the best medication for me AGAIN in another country but at this point thats probably the best option. adderall i will miss you dearly. i think i was gonna say something else but i forgot what it was. idk. idk! ill figure it out eventually

[naughtystiel]

listening to hard rock on repeat means an ongoing breakdown 🤟

[lunarifie]

The hollow soulmate au #6

First / Prev / Next

(I kinda wanna write this bc I have it all figured out)

Adam was the first to break out of the trance, scrambling to stand up, leaving Kai’s helpful hand hanging.

They stand there for awhile neither knowing how to break the silence.

Kai always knew he was bisexual. Even living in a conservative household he knew he felt attraction to more than one gender. So it was a gamble on how his soulmate was gonna be presented.

‘No! Bad Kai!’ He scolded himself. Soulmates were a certain thing. This was the person you were made for. But very often soulmates have been platonic. He couldn’t jump to conclusions.

Its a weird thing to finally see your soulmate. Both of them searched for the other but its finally dawning on them that this is the person that the universe decided they would be perfect with.

Kai built up his courage. “The names Kai, I’m guessing you're my soulmate?” He gave a small smile, sticking his hand out for a shake.

He’s introduced himself multiple times as Kai. To people he’s met on his journey, to Weirdy, to the staff. But this was different. He was finally introducing his real self to his soulmate. A small part of him is glad they didn’t meet earlier.

“Adam. Its nice to finally meet you.” He smiled in return, shaking Kai’s hand. “That song you were playing, it was beautiful whats the name of it?”

They moved into conversation almost naturally. Talking about Kai’s performance on stage. The interests they shared, what they did in their free time and what they had in common. Easily slipping into teasing banter.

Adam wondered if this is what having a soulmate meant. Someone to understand you.

Then the conversation comes up of how Kai got to the town where Adam was living. “Okay, but I need to know, were you looking for me? As in me, your soulmate? I noticed my string was getting thinner but I wasn’t 100 percent sure. Did you move here or are you traveling?”

Adam waits expectantly, as Kai stumbles to create an response other than ‘I ran away from my family in search for you, I illegally crossed the border and also created a fake ID.’

He was luckily saved when Weirdy came sprinting to their table. “Kai! What the hell are you doing?!? You can’t just cut off a show like that? The Apocalyptic horsemen are trying to keep up the performance by themselves.”

Kai apologized profusely, explaining rapidly that his soulmate found him (or he found his soulmate) and that he wasn’t thinking.

Weirdy pauses, sighing he decides that Kai can spend as much time as he wants and he’ll step in for him at the piano. But Kai will be staying overnight to not just clean the restaurant but do the dishes.

When Weirdy walks away, Adam asks if that was his dad. With the way they spoke to each other.

A lightbulb seems to flash over Kai’s head. “Uh, actually! He’s my, um, Uncle. Yep! My Uncle! My um, parents decided to go on a loooong business trip (a half truth, his parents would often go on business trips, leaving him.) And left me with my Uncle!”

Adam laughs, “I knew you two were related! You act so much alike.”

Kai didn’t know if he should take that as an insult or compliment.

“So is it just by chance that you came to the same town as me?”

Kai contemplated on this. He could see Adam looked a tiny bit crestfallen. As if he thought that Kai went looking for him. Which would be correct.

“No, I kind of um saw that my string was directed south. In the direction of the U.S. I’m from Canada so I asked my parents if I could stay with Weir- my Uncle who lives here while they were away! I didn’t think i’d get it right on the nail!”

“Oh you’re from Canada? That’s why you were so far away. In a completely other country. Wow. I guess we really were destined to meet each other if we were this lucky.” Adams genuine smile had Kai’s stomach doing flips.

The conversation picked up from there until Adams phone rang. He picked it up. “Hey mom.” “yeah I found him!” “Nooo, mom it's not like that!” “Do I have to?” “Is it really that late???” “Alright..”

Just as he hung up Gustav popped around the corner. “We’re closing soon kiddo, wrap up, your meet up.” He chuckled “oooo that rhymed!”

“Ryming ‘up’ with ‘up’ isn’t a rhyme” Kai groaned.

Adam snickered “yep, definitely related.” Causing Kai to nervously laugh in guilt.

They stand up. “I guess this is goodbye- or more like see you later. You gotta close up and my moms kind of impatient on me getting home.” Adam chuckles, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

He jolts in remembrance. “Oh right! Can I get your number? I wanna stay in contact.” He takes out his phone.

Kai’s face falls. “Oh um, I'm sorry I don't have a phone yet...”

Adam blinks back in surprise. “Oh well, your email then?”

Kai winces, “no computer either...”

“Oh.”

A few seconds pass, “tell you what, I work on week days as a waiter and perform around nighttime on Tuesday's and Thursday's. If we meet up at the end of my shifts we can spend some time together!” Kai shows a face of determination. “I promise to work really hard to get enough money so we can stay in contact!”

Adam’s smile widens at the promise. “Thats perfect. Just don't overwork your self, okay?”

Kai nods, “it’s a deal then.”

“Deal.”

[kuipersorbit]

politics dont work on dsmp like you think they do: a badly written analysis

ok ive been seeing posts about techno being ancap because he teamed with quackity and purpled so I thought Id write something out to get my thoughts out there. (not only those, those are just the ones that felt like a punch to the gut) nobodys gonna see this but none of my friends are into this fandom (understandably) that i can talk to so here we go!!!

warning, this is p long!! there are 3 sections:

Anarchy v. democracy (differences to real life)

tubbo v. schlatt: minecraft governments

specific types of posts that we hate to see/dont make sense

Anarchy v. democracy (differences to irl)

So the fact that there are differences from minecraft rp to irl is pretty obvious, but i still see people talking like its not so heres some points. I see a lot of people defend c!tubbo and lmanburg for making a government, but I dont think they see the imact of government (even democracy) on the dsmp because it works for countries irl. so here you go: theres like 20 active members on dsmp. only half are in lmanburg.

why does this matter? because (as techno has mentioned in a couple of streams) thats a very small amount of people. lmanburg as a country could operate as an equal nation, as they could all fit at one table to talk. literally. Imagine someone in your household or in your friendgroup declaring themselves president and then actually having the power to make laws and exile people. weird right? It doesnt matter if the friend is well-liked or elected, they still have the power to control everyone else with no repercussions. Technoblade and Philzas perspective is this: nobody here should be given the power, because it always changes them and turns sour fast. they advocate for anarchy, which sounds crazy and violent, but what they really want is the friend group to be back on equal terms.

compare this to united states politics and then you open up a completely different can of worms. Those who argue for a system to hold people accountable and to make a system for orderly mass change are still justified. principles of anarchy built for large nations are still valid, but MUCH easier to achieve on a small minecraft server

tubbo v. schlatt: minecraft governments

SO. lets talk about tubbos rule. he seems to have good intentions at first, and is definitely not as bad as schlatt, but things start to go badly as he realizes he can get away with more and more. say we give him a by for exiling tommy because he was manipulated. (even though a government allows those systems to happen IN THE FIRST PLACE).

Technos execution is the first glaring red flag of his presidency. you could say that he was doing it as revege for?? two withers?? but then quackitys speech and the existence of a hit list immediately counter that. IF the execution was for JUSTICE they would have let him have a TRIAL. thats why its called the JUSTICE system. They have a pre-built courthouse and everything!! Another example of tubbos presidency souring is the destruction of phils house. they kept a man who constantly moves around in house arrest for the crime of?? being friends with someone?? as well as break his windows and loot his chests, the very same thing he condemned tommy and ranboo for. (ranboo is not innocent either btw, i have a whole nother rant about why i lowkey cant stand ranboos character, but thats for later.)

Not to mention pressuring ranboo to hurt people he didnt have qualms with, continuing to force a no-armor rule despite residents having reason to be wary, and selectively choosing who to be in his "cabinet", pushing people like Niki, who have been there since the beginning, to the side for QUACKITY of all people who has a very scuffed moral compass.

What did schlatt do again? he raised taxes, especially for niki (one of the only things he is very much at fault for), broke trees and buildings, enforced borders, killed tubbo, and exiled two of his competitors. Personally, I'd say tubbo and schlatt are equally bad here, schlatt just seems worse because he made his intentions known.

specific types of posts that we hate to see

we as in me. i hate to see em. Political compasses??? ew. bad. dsmp has only 20 people and no economy. (quackity wants to make one to gain power, purpled made a unsucessful real estate buisness for laughs early on.) People associating the syndicate/anarhcy with violence and chaos?? NO. BAD. they just want the friend group to be equal again. they just want a system where they cant be betrayed, ignored, and stepped on for no reason.

-extra snowchester point because this gets on my nerves. the syndicate was not expecting tubbo to be there. they did not go in any buildings without permission. they were very upfront about their goals and suspicions. not once was violence threatened, even after learning about nukes. also do not try me with "but techno has withers!!" EVERYONE can get withers. withers are a nuisance but destroy land maybe 4-5 blocks deep.

TUBBO and MANY OTHER SERVER MEMBERS have stolen and walked on technos land and he did nothing. He SAW tubbo, knew about connor, etc. and he did nothing. If youre upset about techno stepping foot on tubbos land, be upset at tubbo for doing the same to techno first.

conclusion

anarchy in a server is just "hey can we not?? dictate the lives of out friends??" and governments of ANY KIND have hurt people on all occasions. this is not the same irl. please know the difference.

IF YOU READ ALL THIS: holy fuck. thank you. this is my first long textpost here, i dont expect to get any traction or anything, i just wanted to put my thoughts in order.

[anime-alyssa]

purple scars. (d ragnvindr x reader)

i posted this on ao3 and forgot to move it here - so you get it super long and not 2 in parts. i’m thinking of continuing this, maybe?

thanks for reading and the support! i’m working on a xiao rn hopefully i can get my shit together 

warning: contains some emotional trauma, implied r*pe but nothing is overly graphic. the second half is smut, separated by stars if thats what you want to skip to. 

The bitter cold of Dragonspire finally started to fade away as you crossed over the bridge back into Mondstat for the first time in 10 years. You were bundled up to the extreme, having prepared for the cold, your sword on your back and jacket heavy on your shoulders. Your sword and your jacket were all you managed to steal away before you were able to escape your homeland, Inazuma. You were still dressed in the encampment clothes, your ID number splayed across the chest of the shirt and the boots too big for your feet.

You hadn’t wanted to be gone for 10 years - you wanted to only be gone for a few, to get your Electro under control. But when Baal placed borders around the country and started hunting down anyone with a Vision, life had become a living hell. You were placed in a prison camp and locked away from society shortly after, tortured beyond anything imaginable just for being born with a Vision. The only thing that kept you alive was the hope that one day, if you had gotten strong enough, you would be able to escape Inazuma to head back to Diluc, and Mondstat - were you really felt at home. 

Diluc Ragnvindr was a mystery to everybody, except for you. You found yourself more often than not sneaking onto Dawn Winery’s premises when his father was not around and exploring each other’s bodies, like the horny teens that you had been. Sometimes you thought you could still feel the ghost of his fingertips on your skin at night - and tried to imagine that it was him when the Bakufu would do unspeakable things to you and the other prisoners. It was painful, and left you scarred - would Diluc even want you?

It had been 10 years - you had last seen him when you were merely 16 and he was entering the Knights of Favonius. The two of you fell in love as teenagers - no one expected it to be anything beyond that, but the two of you were convinced otherwise at the time. For you, it was still the same - you thought of Diluc every single day while you were in Inazuma. You could remember the day like it was yesterday - his heartbroken eyes, the cries you let out as you told him that you would be leaving, the way he held onto you. 

“I’ll be back - I promise - I just - I need help that I can’t get here.” you sobbed into his chest. The Pyro users warmth was all around you as he held you in his room at Dawn Winery, his father out for the night, leaving the two of you bare in his bed.

“You better come back, or else I’ll go to Inazuma myself to get you.” his eyes looked down at you and your heart broke at the sight of him - Diluc was never a vulnerable person, but right now he was. One of his thumbs stroked your tears away on your cheeks as his lips peppered kisses up your neck. “I will never forget you. Ever.” 

“Neither will I.” you said with a gasp, as Diluc had given you a night to never forget. 

You had officially reached the other side of the bridge - the cold gone away and the warmth coming back to you. You thought about taking the jacket off, now way too hot with it on, but you didn’t want people to know where you had come from. You didn’t want their pity. There was a small camp with other adventurers and travelers around, the chef offering you food for free before you went on your way. It didn’t do much for you to quell the aching hunger you had and the shaky legs - you weren’t really the best fed and had been surviving off of fruit from trees. In short, you were in no condition to be traveling, clearly sickly and unwell. But you were not stopping now - you couldn’t. Not after all that you had overcome. You hadn’t forgotten about him. 

A series of snarls from the side of you caused you to jump as you saw about four hilichurls coming right for you. You shrugged the jacket off and grabbed your sword, standing your guard as the monsters attacked. You fought them tooth and nail until your vision all but blacked out - you had hit the ground and heard someone calling for you. 

“Hello? Wake up - Lumine - she needs help! Hey, wait - that’s an Inazuma camp uniform!” a high-pitched voice said to you. Your vision slowly came back as you saw a floating - fairy? You didn’t know what she was - but she was floating above you looking concerned next to a young blonde teenager. “Are you okay?” 

“I - I don’t know. Need food - water - Di -” you managed to weakly say, feeling your world spin around you. The blonde teenager ran to the water source across from you - a lake? - to get you a drink of water as the fairy thing fished out something for you to eat. You felt like you were going to die - you were starving, dehydrated, but Diluc, you needed to get to Diluc.

“Here’s some water! Drink this, please.” she said to you kindly. You took the cup and quickly chugged the water, then taking the offered food. “My name is Lumine, and this is Paimon.” You gave them your name back, as they seemed trustworthy, as they sat down next to you and watched you. Paimon looked at you with sad eyes, seeing your uniform.

“Thank you very much. It’s been…. a while since I ate anything. All I have is this.” you said to them, continuing to eat. You were already feeling better, but by the way they were looking at you, you could tell that you were still quite a sight.

“You’re welcome - did you escape Inazuma? Paimon and Lumine were actually trying to find a way to sneak in.” Paimon had announced to you. You froze on the spot and looked up to them.

“What - no. Don’t go there. It’s dangerous - the camps - ” You felt panic start to bubble in your chest, your heart-rate increasing and breathing becoming staggered at the flashes of memories that flooded your mind. Paimon started calling out to you again, trying to calm you. She and Lumine had started to talk amongst themselves, looking at you trying to calm yourself as they made attempts to as well. You tried to remember Diluc - what you could of him, and slowly you were able to calm down. “I’m sorry - it’s just - it’s awful. I was there for 10 years, I was a prisoner.” You sat in an awkward silence before Paimon spoke up again. 

“Hey - Paimon remembers that when you were talking earlier, you almost sounded like you were saying someone’s name.” she said to you. 

“I’m - I’m looking for Diluc Ragnvindr of Mondstat - the Knights - or Dawn Winery - I don’t know where he is, actually. When I left, he was joining the Knights.” you said to them with a sudden hope that you hadn’t felt in years. Even in your journey, you hadn’t felt hopeful. There was always the chance of the Bakufu finding you and bringing you back or dying. But suddenly, you felt some hope. 

“Oh - Master Diluc! Paimon didn’t know he used to be with the Knights of Favonius - that explains why he dislikes them so much now - but he does run Dawn Winery now!” Paimon said, floating happily. She paused for a moment - then looked like some gears had clicked in her head. “Wait a minute - you’re Master Diluc’s lost love!!”

“His what?” You asked. Lost love? Was that what the rumor was? But wait - if there was even a rumor, that meant there was potential that he still cared about you - still thought of you. 

“What Paimon means to say is that Kaeya told us stories about when Diluc was… not like he is now. That he used to be much happier - and it was because of you.” the blonde traveler said to you. 

“What - what do you mean? He’s changed?” You wanted to slap yourself - obviously he changed, it’s been years. But they made it seem like he was completely different - and he left the Knights? When Diluc was younger it was all he wanted to do, so he could protect people and help them. What had changed? You assumed you would find out. 

“Paimon thinks we should take you to him to find out - Kaeya made it seem like you knew him better than anyone, so you would know more. Let’s go check Dawn Winery to see if he is there!” she said happily. You gave her a nod as you shakily stood up, feeling like you had a little bit more energy and walked with the traveler and her companion. 

You learned about her on the way there. She woke up on the beach with no memory, but knew she was not from Tevyat. Her twin brother was missing and she was in search of The Seven to see if maybe that would be a way for her to find him, which explained why she wanted to go to Inazuma despite your warnings. But, she was Vision-less - a fact that shocked you as you could have sworn you vaguely remember her using Anemo during the fight. That little factoid made you feel a little better. 

As you approached Dawn Winery, your stomach started twisting into knots. All of your anxieties came flooding back - would Diluc even want you still? Would he be appalled at the state of you? Would he be able to handle the extra baggage you came with now? Your mind reeled at Paimon babbled on about how maybe you would be good for Diluc to be happy, and how she was looking forward to the food the winery always had for them. You felt yourself fidgeting with the jacket, having put it back on to cover your uniform. 

You saw his red hair from a mile away and froze in your steps. He had gotten taller, but god he looked the same. He pulled his hair back like he always had, muscles built out over the years. He couldn’t see you yet, talking to someone else across from him at the entrance of the winery. Lumine stayed by your side, the teenager having a big heart and concerned. However, Paimon floated on over to him. 

“Master Diluc! Master Diluc! Paimon and Lumine have someone who was looking for you!” she said excitedly. You couldn’t help but admire the creature’s happiness, despite your nerves. You and Lumine walked forward as Diluc turned around - eyes going wide seeing you. Your breath hitched in your throat as you two made eye contact. It felt like all air in your lungs had just disappeared and you were unable to breathe. 

Diluc slowly stepped towards you at first, not being able to believe his eyes. You could tell he was taking you in, observing your features and you to make sure that it really was you. You didn’t blame him for taking his time - you were unrecognizable from before. Your features had thinned out due to the years of neglect from the Bakufu, eyes sunken slightly inward and skin paled. You saw a flash of doubt flash in his eyes - or at least that’s what your brain wanted you to think - and you let out a sob. That seemed to do it for him as Diluc ran over to you in a flash, pushing anybody out of his way to wrap his arms around you. 

It finally felt like you were home, in Diluc’s arms as he held you. More sobs wrecked your now trembling body, overcome with emotion as tears spilled onto his clothing. His grip on you was snug, but not too tight, treating you like you were glass and frail. He was warm, as he always was, while he held onto you like you’d disappear into thin air if he let go. You felt your knees give out, exhaustion starting to hit you, Diluc picking you up to support you. You tried to say something - to say anything to him, but the shaking and the exhaustion was becoming to much and eventually, you blacked out in his arms. 

——

You woke up on a comfortable bed - so comfortable it almost didn’t feel right. You were sunk into one side with the blankets over you, body bare underneath. Had Diluc been the one to take your clothes off - did he see your scars? Your body suddenly felt good - there was no aching, you suddenly felt healthy? If that was the word for it. You shuffled in the bed, making an attempt to sit up, before you were promptly pushed back down. 

“Lay down - please.” Diluc spoke to you. You turned your gaze over to him, laying next to you, half asleep and half dressed. You covered yourself underneath the blankets as he threw an arm over you, pulling you close to him despite trying to hide. “Don’t do that. Stop trying to hide from me.”

“Diluc - I’m - I’m not the same.” you stammered out. You felt his fingers dance over your bare skin and you gasped, instinctively jumping back. He retreated his touch upon seeing this, examining you again. “I’m sorry.”

“What did they do to you?” he asked. Panic bubbled inside of you once more as you tried to find the words to speak. You wanted to tell him everything. He deserved to know everything if he was still going to be with you. But for some reason, you couldn’t find the words. “Did the Bafuku do this - give you these?” His fingers grazed over the discolored scars on your body, purple marks from Electro attacks embedded into your skin forever. 

“Yes - they would - they punished us when we fought back. All of us - but the females - they would - they’d come at night - ” Diluc let out a low snarl, understanding what you were implying without actually having to say it. “I tried to imagine it was you. Thinking of you is the only thing that kept me alive most days. It was awful - once Baal placed the orders to capture everyone with Visions, they found me in days. The painful part was that I was right at Liyue’s border - I was so close to getting out. That’s when I got this one.” You lifted your left arm, pointing to a series of purple numbers on your wrist. 

“I don’t want to hear where they came from. It only makes me angrier that the damn Knights of Favonius didn’t even try to do anything to help.” Diluc said, cautiously wrapping a bare arm around you, testing the waters. You allowed him the contact - knowing that you were safe. You were safe with Diluc. You just needed to convince your brain the same thing, which would take time that he didn’t seem to mind. “It’s the middle of the night, let’s go back to bed. You need rest.” he said to you. 

You gave Diluc a quick nod as you found yourself inching closer to his chest, resting your head on him. He was warm, as always, wrapping his arms completely around you and pulling you onto him. He never used to be one who liked someone on top of him, even you, and you had respected that - but now it seems like he wasn’t going to ever let you go again. 

You didn’t mind as you attempted to fall into a dreamless sleep - but you were unlucky. Diluc was out in five minutes flat, but every time you tried to close your eyes flashes of the past would come back to haunt you. You weren’t sure if you got a wink of rest at all, until you found Diluc looking down at you, the sun out behind him. Your throat was dry and your face was wet. Had you had a nightmare? You weren’t sure if you had, since you weren’t even sure if you had fallen asleep at all.

“It’s just me - you’re okay. You were having a nightmare, I think.” he said, trying to say it in his calmest voice he could possibly muster. You blinked up at him confused. 

“I - I don’t remember.” you said sadly, racking your brain to see if you could remotely remember, but having no such luck. Your brain was telling you that it didn't want you to remember, you think.

“You were screaming in your sleep. Almost shocked me, actually.” he said, throwing a light-hearted chuckle in at the end. You were not amused though, staring at him with wide eyes as you sat up slowly.

“I did? Are you okay?” you asked him. He looked at you like you had ten heads, confusing you until he spoke next.

“What - are you okay?”

“I think that answer is obvious enough.” You replied plainly. Diluc’s hand went to your chin, bringing your gaze to match his. His thumb lovingly and gently ran across your jawline, and you instinctively leaned into his touch. Slowly, you climbed up onto his lap, and he allowed you the comfort. “I think - I think I’ll be okay now, though. It’s just going to take some time.” You nuzzled yourself back into his chest as he hugged you snuggly, a hum leaving his lips. 

“I’ll be here with you until it is, I swear it.” Diluc pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and you knew then that he meant it just like he did 10 years before.

*********************************************************************************

Slowly but surely, you started to heal, and it was all thanks to Diluc. The nightmares started to slowly fade away and with time, you were feeling happy again. You lived with him at Dawn Winery and took on some responsibilities to earn your keep (though Diluc always insisted that you didn’t need to do so), like helping the staff keep the place running and making sure that Diluc was on time to everything he needed to be. Which was a challenge, especially once you started to feel like your old self again (or what you could of your old self). 

“One of these days, Charles is going to quit and then you’ll be stuck!” you said to him from on top of his desk, his lips on your neck as you let out a sigh. You weren’t quite mentally ready for much more intimacy, and he was okay with that, but you slowly had become re-accustomed to more touches. Diluc was letting you take the reins for what you were ready for and what you weren’t. 

“He threatens to quit every day. He never does.” Diluc spoke against your skin, grunting as you finally pushed him away - and just in time, as Charles walked in to look for him. You hopped off and ran to find Adeline to see if she needed any help. Later on that day, you saw Charles again and he said that Diluc had been in a particularly angry mood for the past few hours. With a sigh, you had hunted him down, finding him in your bedroom. 

“What’s wrong? Charles is going around saying you’re angry.” you said to him. Your partner let out a scoff as he turned back around to you, your eyes immediately going to his middle. You bit back a laugh. 

“Don’t.” he hissed through gritted teeth, face burning as you stepped closer to him. 

“It’s like you’re sixteen again.” you said with a small giggle. Before he could protest, you had him backed against the wall and his pants shoved down, solving the problem yourself. Charles saw you before he left for the night and had said Diluc was in a much better mood the rest of the day. 

You had found out about Diluc’s night-time hero work as The Darknight Hero a week or two after you had returned. Originally, you fought him tooth and nail against it, for selfish reasons - but once he explained what had happened to him over the past 10 years, you gave it a rest and let him go on. With the death of his father and everything that had happened with the Knights and his brother afterward, you almost couldn’t blame him. 

He had put a pause on it when you came back, but people started to talk and worry, and the Abyss Order picked up on it. He had to begin it again, and you worried every single night. Tonight in particular, he had been gone almost all night, and you were starting to worry. It was an hour or two more than what he was usually out, and you were alone in the Winery with your thoughts. To make things worse, it was storming outside so you couldn’t go out to look for him even if you wanted to. 

A crack of thunder caused panic to rush through your chest - it sounded too much like Bakufu punishment for your comfort. You were snuggled under blankets, bringing your knees to your chest as you tried to push the memories away - another crack making an involuntary whimper leave your lips as the shakes came on. You hadn’t panicked like this in months - but the conditions of the storm and Diluc being gone for longer than he said brought it on, and you were nearly unable to control it. 

The door opened and you jumped, not paying any mind to whoever it was that walked through the door as you fought to keep the memories at bay - flashes of them coming through in segments. You heard a curse and then running as you steadied some of your breathing, a hand coming to your face and forcing you to look at your lover. He wrapped his arm around you and brought you close to him, letting you soak up his warmth. 

“You’re okay - you’re okay.” Diluc chanted to you softly. You nodded against his chest as you wrapped yourself around him back, his hand gently rubbing your back. He was right - you were okay. “I tried to get back as soon as I could after the weather rolled in, I’m sorry it took so long.” he apologized from above you. 

“It’s okay.” you mumbled into him.

“No it’s not. I know how it gets - I should have known better.” he pressed a kiss to your hair after he spoke, guilt starting to rise up. Diluc had been overly cautious when it came to you since your return - within days he had memorized anything that sent you into a panic and was there to prevent it from happening. Until today, that is, hence the guilt. You let out a sigh as you relaxed into him. 

“I know you want to protect me, but you can’t always do it, on top of everything else. I’ll be okay.” you said to him, taking your head out of his chest and bringing your lips to his. 

He slowly reciprocated once his mind caught up to his body - realizing that you were initiating, something that hadn’t happened yet since you came back. His arms around you tightened as the kiss became deeper and more passionate, from a tiny little peck to open mouthed pants. Diluc was almost struggling to keep up with you, mind telling him to slow down for you but body betraying him, his need for you coming to the surface. 

Diluc almost lost his mind when he had dragged you closer to him and heard a soft moan leave your lips as you landed on top of the tent in his pants. The moan seemed to be the signal that flipped the switch in Diluc’s head, as he flipped the two of you over, placing your back on the mattress as he towered above you. 

“Are - are you sure?” Diluc asked, needing your complete consent before he went any further. A selfish part of him was hoping you’d say yes, but if you were to say no, he’d have no problem getting off you right now and going on with his night. It was all about if you were ready. 

“Yes. Please Diluc.” you said back quietly. It was his turn to let out a moan at your begging for him as his lips went to your neck, softly leaving pecks up and down both sides. 

“You tell me if anything - anything - is too much.” he spoke against your skin, coming back up to make sure that you understood. Diluc felt his cock twitch in his pants seeing your blissed out face, lust clouded over you from him. You let out a weak nod before he went back down with more vigor, sucking marks into your neck for all to see.

Fighting back wasn’t a thought in your mind as your body grew hot, clothes suddenly feeling restricting and your core in need of some friction. You hadn’t needed anybody in years, but right now, you needed him. Everything felt so right as his gloved fingertips pushed your shirt off your body, exposing your chest to him. The cool air made you shiver, but was soon replaced with the warmth of Diluc’s mouth pressing open-mouthed kisses to all the skin he could reach. 

You managed to get Diluc to shrug his jacket off once you started to push it over his shoulders, pulling at his gloves next and discarding those. His mouth went back to its attack on your chest, finding one of your breasts and gently beginning to tug. A moan left your mouth as you tried to remember that your next mission was to get his shirt off. Your body was giving into him more and more as sparks of pleasure started to zoom through your veins and down to your core, slick starting to pool. 

“Diluc…” you moaned out his name lustfully, spurring him on more. He pulled away from your nipple with a pop, panting as he almost ripped the rest of his shirt off his arms before going back down to pay attention to the other nipple. You continued to cry out, twisting underneath him as you filled with more and more need. 

You felt his hands moving down your stomach, one resting on your hip while the other tucked under the waistband of your pants. For a moment, your mind started to reel and your heart raced - flashes of the past coming in. You were able to remember that you were with Diluc - you were safe, and you wanted him. Diluc noticed, immediately popping off you and gazing up at you. 

“Should I - ”

“Don’t you dare stop.” you said, cutting him off. Throwing your arms around his neck, you brought his lips down to meet yours as he quickly continued what he was doing. Fingers dipped between your folds slowly, toying with your sensitive bud and making you moan against his mouth. With a small grunt back, Diluc slid two of his fingers into you slowly, beginning to pump. You sighed out his name as your hips ground into him, his lips moving back towards your neck as he panted against you. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby.” he breathed against you, hips rutting against your thigh. You used your free hands to push your pants off, kicking them down your legs and leaving you completely exposed. The purple scars on your body reflected with the lightning outside the window and the candle light on the bedside while your body twitched with desire. Another moan left your lips as his fingers curled up into you, his thumb circling your bud making your walls tremble. “I need you. I need you.” he chanted into your neck, trying to use his freehand to fumble with his pants to push them down. 

“Diluc…” you moaned as you started to meet his pumps, fucking yourself on his fingers trying to chase a high that you felt coming. 

“I need to be inside you. Let me - I need it.” he stammered, continuing to finger fuck you until you said yes. You let out a cry as you felt yourself nearing the edge, body hot and sweat collecting on your skin. “Please baby - let me - ”

“Diluc, yes - fuck - ” As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled his fingers out of you and finished pulling his pants down, kicking them off and letting them fall to the floor. You let out a whine at the loss before Diluc leaned down to kiss you again, gently using his knees to spread your legs wider and his hand that was in you to line his cock up with you. Nerves started to kick in ever so slightly, surpassing the need as you spoke out. “Be - slow - please.” you managed to say. 

“Of course.” he said back, putting his lips back on yours as Diluc pushed the head of his cock into your hole. He let out a moan into your mouth, checking your face for any signs of discomfort before pushing in more. A whine left your lips at the feeling of being split open - it had been so long since you had someone inside of you that it almost felt like the first time again. Diluc pressed kisses to you, as some form of a distraction, as he continued to seethe himself inside until eventually, he was all the way in. “Okay?” he asked, bringing his gaze back up to yours. Diluc looked like he was absolutely holding back, restraining himself because you had asked. His face was red and he was panting above you already, heart racing with desire. 

“Ye - yeah.” you said back to him. He let out a groan before he kissed you again, not moving inside just yet. His lips were warm against yours, swollen from all of the other kisses he had given you so far. Diluc wrapped his arms around you and brought you close to him, pressing your bodies together as you felt your need re-awaken. Your body was on edge, having him inside you but not moving - and you needed him yet again. “Diluc - you can move - please.” you begged. 

“Fuck, yes.” he groaned into your mouth as slowly he started to rock his hips into yours, cock sliding in and out of you with ease. When he started moving, everything from before fully woke up again and you felt your muscles start to tense up, gripping onto his shoulders desperately as your moans started to fill the air. He took that as signal to start going faster and eventually, he started thrusting harder, with more purpose. A cry left your lips at the change of pace, feeling your body react by trying to move your hips to meet his. 

“Faster Diluc - please faster.” you cried out. Your lover let out a loud moan at your plea, hiking your legs over his shoulders as he fucked into you harder, cock curving up inside you and hitting the spot that had you crying out his name. You started to shake under him, a warmth pooling in you that felt like it was about to bubble over. Diluc took your lips in his again, drinking up your moans as he pounded himself into you, the bed creaking and the sound of his hips meeting yours filling the room. You felt his cock growing harder inside of you with every thrust, your resolve close to breaking. “D - Diluc - Diluc!” you cried, tears streaming down your cheeks as pleasure started to overcome you. 

“So good - you’re so good to me - so - perfect - fuck!” he said to you in a haze, a wanton moan leaving his lips as he felt your walls start to flutter around his cock. You let out a cry as you felt yourself nearly there - the pressure was bubbling and you were about to snap as the length of Diluc’s cock hit you right every time, his moans music to your ears and making your insides shutter. “Ah - ah - come for me, baby - come for me!” Diluc begged, now chasing a release by making you get to yours. You let out a whine - feeling yourself getting towards that edge - then a scream, feeling Diluc bring his hand down between your bodies to start rubbing at your clit. “Fuck you’re gonna - come - come!” he moaned. 

“Diluc - Diluc - I’m - fuck!” you screamed out his name as white hot pleasure took over your body, feeling your walls finally clench down on him inside of you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your heard as you kept moaning, body arching against his and core still convulsing as Dilic continued to fuck you, now with a pace near brutal that had your orgasm being wrung out, overstimulation nearing. “Di - Diluc - ” you stammered as his fingers rubbed harder on your spent nub. 

“Fuck - I’m - I’m gonna cum - so hard - inside - baby - ” Diluc let out one last loud moan as his hips slapped against yours, his cock twitching inside of you as his seed buried itself deep. He let out moans as he bucked his hips up into you, your twitching core milking his cock as he all but collapsed on top of you. “Fuck -” he breathed out into your neck, dragging your hips close again so he could keep pumping his high in your body. 

You felt spent - exhausted. Eventually, you felt his cock stop twitching inside of you and Diluc pulled out, collapsing next to you. He brought the blankets over your bodies and pulled you close to him, pressing kisses to your temple. 

“Are you okay?” he asked you. You turned to look at him, eyes wide with concern. You gave him a smile and pressed a kiss to his lips. Even after all that, he was still worried about you. You could argue that's what you loved most about him - that under the facade of not caring, he cared a lot - he was an emotional guy. 

“More than okay.” you said back to him. He let out a hum as his hand trailed down to your abdomen - the area where you had the most scars from the Bakufu. Suddenly, you got what he was saying. 

“I - well - I came inside. Are you sure?” he asked again. You didn’t really think about that in the moment, honestly. You weren’t sure how you felt about that one hundred percent - but you knew that you didn’t entirely mind it. You had gone through hell to get back with him because you wanted to be with him - you wanted to be with him completely. 

“Yeah. I’m sure - I want to be with you, Diluc. That means… everything.” you said back. He nodded back down to you as he kissed you again, keeping his hand on you down below. When he stopped, he pressed your forehead to his lovingly.

“To everything.”

[chicagotvnation]

A Hurricane - Jay Halstead/Reader

Pairings:Jay Halstead x Reader / Jay Halstead x You

Warnings:  Shots fired, love, injured, mentions of blood 

Words Count: 1115

Prompt: A hurricane takes human form 

Summary: Your a hurricane, always coming in and ruining everything, at least thats what you thought. You were apart of intelligence on a buy and of course things went south because when did they not? 

Author Note:  This is the first time I have posted to this profile with my writing but you can check more of my writing out on both Wat pad and archive . I haven’t written anything in months besides essays so if you like this go check out my other work and let me know. im almost done with my degree and hoping to get more written. 

https://www.wattpad.com/user/AuroraBurrows

https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraBurrows/profile

You were a hot mess wrapped in an human. The past always followed you and no matter what you did you tried to escape it. To the point that you even became a police officer. The only thing that mattered to you was to find all the people. Growing up in Chicago you got to know the police force and one officer in particular. Hank Voight. He knew you were a good kid who was constantly put into a bad situation. He saved you, He helped you out of the trouble you were always tied too.

Years later after your father was arrested and put in jail, Hank got you a spot in the police academy and after working hard on the grind you found yourself handpicked for his unit. Not because he was like a father to you, but because you were one of the best of the best and you worked hard for that title.

You were young and hella good at solving puzzles which is why you were so good at putting things together. This case was no different. Your CO had some information which lead you to a dealer. You went undercover for a buy with one of your co workers Jay, Jay Halstead. The man you admired for the war he fought for his country, and well he wasn’t bad to look at either. Your informant introduced you “this is Sam, and Jake.” She introduced the two of you “they are were the ones I was telling you about” She started to explain and you went to try and ya know how much y’all were looking to buy. Some thing unexpected happened. One of the drug dealers associates walked up behind him and looked you right in the eye “y/n” he said to you. You tried to quickly play it off “I think you have me confused with someone else” you say to the man “I am sam and im just trying to do a simple deal here”

“She’s a cop” he said simply “I would know she is my daughter”. You closed our eyes for a quick second as you opened them you saw that guns were pointed at you and Jay “woah woah woah this man is crazy!” You said trying to back track the deal “I have never met this guy in my entire life.” You said holding up your hands

Everything was going south so you did what you had to do. You were a hurricane trapped in human form, always putting people in danger. You Shoved jay out of the way as you heard a gunshot go off and your informant went running off before you quickly jumped over another table and flipped it. In getting Jay out of the way you didn’t even notice you were hit. You quickly pulled out your gun ass the rest of the team came in clearing the bar and getting everyone to safety as you quickly fired back “come on dad you don’t wanna do this” you said out loud

‘Oh but I do” he said as he moved to see you and fired another shot, this time you felt it hit you in the shoulder “its your fault I spent the last 10 years in jail not being able to see my own son grow up, your such a bitch I should have taken care of you a long time ago” ‘fuck” you mumbled holding your shoulder for a second and taking a breath and shifting “thats not my fault you sold and did drugs and whatever else they got you for I had nothing to do with it. With a few more shots fired off you could feel that something wasn’t right. “Hey a/n, stay with me” Jay said as he stood over you. “Everything fine stay with me you are okay” He said putting pressure on your side the last things. You heard before you passed out because all the adrenaline wore off “5021 George I have an injured officer and need assistance now roll an ambulance to my location now” he said into the walkie. As the rest of the team walked over to where you were The ambulance ride was weird it was something you were in and out for. You heard the machines beeping and you saw jay riding with you as he was your partner and “Jay” you said to him before the machines started to beep and you were back out of it. They where able to pull you back and you heard Jays brother Will “don’t worry she will be okay, and maybe you will finally tell her how you feel, dr Roads is the best”

A few hours later you woke up to jay sitting in the chair next to you. “You got to stop doing that” he said back to you when he saw your eyes open ‘what saving your life because you have slow reflexes?” You wondered with a slight smile and a soft chuckle that hurt so you made a face

“No making me scared that I am going to wake up and you are not going to be there tomorrow your not indestructible y/n” Jay said back to you “seriously you should have aborted the mission, if you thought you were compromised” “he isn’t usually that smart” you said back to him “I kinda thought he would play along but I guess he has a grudge” you said looking around at all the monitors “wait Jay, are you okay is that your blood?” You asked seeing the bandage on his arm “Yeah guess you were not fast enough, apparently the bullet hit my arm and then went into your side” he said “My arm would have been better than I don’t know you loosing your spleen” he said back to you. “You don’t need a spleen anyways, but you do need an arm’ you said back to him with a wink. “Shut up, you know id follow you anywhere, but sometimes I I really can’t watch you get hurt again. Y/n I am better with you. You can’t do this to me my heart can not handle loosing you” “Actually its you who makes me better” you replied “its kinda why I pushed you out of a bullets path tonight” you said back to him as will walked into the room.

[insufferablelust]

Hi, I hope you're having a great day! I was wondering if you could write something for Hotch where the reader is one of the younger members and he always wants to protect her. She messes up on a case and Strauss yells at her and she ends up crying and Hotch takes care of her. Thank you so much, and it is okay if you don't want to write it!

Hi! i’m so sorry it took me awhile to write your piece but i hope this is worth it! and i also changed it a bit so i hope you don’t mind, but if you have any specific ideas just let me know! anyways thank you so much for requesting and waiting! much love!

This is an Aaron Hotchner x SA!Reader Blurb.

Warnings : Fluffs, angst, Mean!Strauss, Hotch is like your caregiver in a professional way like he guides you through the cases and help you etc because you’re new and young, Mention of Guns, Blood, Supportive!BAU, Mental disorder, and Abductions.

this blurb also have a special meaning to me since i’m diagnosed with the same Disorder the unsub has in this so i’m sorry if the descriptions are a bit too detailed. i still hope you like it and give me feedbacks or constructive criticisms thank you for reading❤️

———————

Being the youngest in every field has its own disadvantages, when you were at school, being the youngest would get you picked at, but you shut them up quickly with your bravery. When you were in college, most people doubted you even your professors, but you also managed to make them stare in awe when you became the top student of your criminal psychology class. When you were training in the academy, many underestimate you, but again— you came out on top, trainee with the highest score amongst others. So you never thought about being the youngest much,

No, not until you actually work— by work i mean becoming a part of BAU, Special Agent Y/n Y/l/n. It was easy at first, you received such a warm welcome from your new teammates that you already thought that this is going to be easy enough. The first time you met them were at the bullpen, they were all lounging and talking about a recent case as you stepped in nervously yet you put a stern smile. The first person who approached you was the wonderful Miss Penelope Garcia, who happens to be your friend, and then you shook hands with David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, Dr. Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, and got a flirty remark from none other than Derek Morgan— who you scoffed at and said “not going to work on me pal, Garcia has told me aaaall about it” which drew laughter.

Your assignments were quite easy at first, you were always the one to be confident, top of your class and all— so on your first day you got your first assignment with the team, a case in Virginia. You were told to follow Agent Hotchner, and you have to be honest that it couldn’t be any more easier for you. He showed you the ropes, how to analyze certain behaviors, even let you interview the family alone. He made you feel safe and comfortable to do this job, and you couldn’t be more grateful.

Now that you’ve gotten to several cases, you’ve felt like you earned your place here, not just as the new girl, but a profiler, an agent, and you couldn’t be more prouder— and you can’t help but to thank Aaron for it, he always guides you through all the horrible things that you just feel content to work on cases with him. Your teammates joked about it sometimes, saying how close you two have gotten, they noticed how Hotch never raised his voice with you, not once, it’s either you’re that good or as Prentiss likes to call it “He has a soft spot for you (Y/n)”

But not all paths are smooth paths, it was sunday afternoon, you were lounging with Emily, Garcia, and Sergio when you heard the call coming from Garcia’s phone. Upon seeing “HOTCHER” as the called id, you and Prentiss sigh deeply before preparing your go bag not even bothering for Garcia to finish the phone call.

Turns out it was a child abduction case, and the first thing to note about this is that time is of the essence and every second counts. The first abduction started in Virginia a month ago, where it was handled by the local police— but then the same type of M.O and Victimology appeared in some abduction cases all over the country, the most recent one is Los Angeles. So off to LA you goes with the team, only thing different this time is that JJ and Hotch was staying behind to talk to the police in Virginia—it’s your first ever case without his guidance and you haven’t decided if you like it or hate it.

———————————

12 hours into the abduction, and Y/n has messed up bad, bad enough that it put her own life in jeopardy. Y/n had gone to follow a lead, that she received from the hotline tip, she debated at first.. on telling the others about the call she received, all her training would told her to tell someone, you can’t go alone but the caller insist that you go alone. Something about this man is not right, you can feel it in your guts. But you know that if you were about to tell the others- they wouldn’t let you pursue, not because you’re incapable but because its not right to go alone, but you took the risk to save these children— the caller did mentioned you only have 10 minutes to drive to his address and if you don’t show up alone, the children will be killed— and you can’t let that happen. So you told the tip responder that you have told your team and that you’re under pursue before sprinting out of the LAPD.

When the team realized that Y/n was gone, it was an hour after she actually left. The second they found out about her whereabouts, they rushed to the location— already hoping that you and the kids are still alive. To their relief, you were found alive, but you were tied to a chair, face bloodied and its clear that you took some harsh beating. The unsub was holding one of the child, threatening to kill him.

He was a man who has Abandonment issues with severe borderline personality disorder, the reason why he abducts children is because he hated his childhood— he hated himself for being a fuck up, so he took the perfect children according to his judgment and kept them— it’s masochistic, he kept them as a reminder for himself of how worthless he is.

“Put the gun down, and let the boy go” Morgan’s voice rang through the abandoned building, causing the unsub to panic and move backwards “No! stay there! c-come any closer and i’ll blow his perfect fucking face off” He snarled, before you gained all the energy you have left and speak up,

“Adam, let him go please. I know how you feel, and let me show you that you are none of those things your mind is telling you. You’re not worthless and you deserve to be loved, a- a mother’s love.. don’t you missed it? Come here, i- i can give it to you” You coughed up blood as your vision gets blurry, The team gasped as the unsub let the boy go.. all of them and kneeled next to you, gun still in hand as he untied you, then lay his head on your thighs. Your fingers shakily move, to ran through his hair, and inching to get the gun from here.

“Shh, shh Mama’s here, give me the toy.. I’ll let you play w-with it later” You said holding back the tears as he slowly handed you the loaded gun before you tossed it and the team cuffed him.

You cried hard as you fell to your knees on the floor, the last thing you heard was Prentiss’s voice calling for medic and then you black out.

——————-

Its been a few days after the incident, you’re on your way back to Quantico. Some of the bruisings are gone but there are some scars that will be there forever, and honestly you don’t worry about it all— the only thing you worry about is what your superior is going to do with you. You knew you messed up bad and it doesn’t matter that you are the reason that those kids are free, you should’ve told your team. When Emily asked you why, you said it’s just gut feeling em. And when Spencer asked you how’d you know?

you told him, that The unsub told you about his young mother, the same exact age as your age, your hair color, and around your height. Thats why he wanted you to come, and the pieces clicked, All of the hesitancy to kill, He liked the pain, not inflicting it to others if not necessary but to himself. That’s how you know. Your answer seemed to please the young doctor as he smiled and whispered a small “Great job, Agent.”

All of them were understanding on why you did it, except Morgan because he’s like your big brother but he did said something along the lines of “You’re a damn good profiler but you’re still stupid” but the worst had to come from your superior; Erin Strauss.

As soon as you landed in Quantico, Hotch was there waiting for you, then escort you to his room, where Strauss was there also. You were nervous not because you’re wrong but because you knew you could’ve done better and it’s against the regulations.

Hotch had said to you during a phone call that he “understands why you did what you did but it certainly doesnt justify it.” The way he spoke those words calmed you down up until now.. standing in front of Strauss herself.

“Agent Y/n, sit down.” You sat down in front of her with Hotch leaning against his desk, you put on a smile as you keep eye contact with her, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling fine, Ma’am. Thank you for asking—i’ve completed the psych evals too and-“

“What you did was reckless and stupid, Agent. You put your own life in danger as well as your teammates. You let your own ambition to lead you into this mess—“

Taken aback at her words, you quickly replied, “Excuse me Ma’am, with all due respect i never have any intention other than saving the boys from the unsub. So i don’t understand how my ‘ambition’ led me.”

“Agent, you will not interrupt me. Must i remind you that you’re an intelligent, bright, and exceptionally young with a lot of great potentials but let me ask you this, Are you too immature that your ambition on becoming the one who caught the unsub is your top priority? The Director agreed that maybe you should take another year of training to successfully complete mature so you dont make mistakes like this.” and at that your eyes brimmed with tears, How could she? how could she compared your age to how you do your job? You were trying to save the kids and you did. Your age has no connection to any of this and certainly not to your abilities. You were about to say something when Hotch stand and put a finger up signaling you to hold it.

“Ma’am I know what Y/n did is incredibly reckless but she only did that because the unsub specifically asked for her— she reminded him of his young mother, their features are the same. Agent Y/n, does know the regulations and protocols, and she knows that if she tells anyone the risk of those boys dying is greater than any other. So with all due respect Ma’am, As her direct superior in this case, i’m asking you to back up and let me handle her penalty according to my professional judgment as someone who has seen her incredible work and sacrifices.” His voice is loud, ringing on your ears like you’re the only thing that mattered. It left you speechless as he give you the tissue box and then waiting for Erin’s reply.

To your surprise she didn’t say anything before leaving his office. You broke down once again, gasping for air as you feel the pain now, the ache on your shoulder and wrists, the dull pain on your face, the cuts and bruises on your stomach. You are exhausted, and It seemed that Hotch knows it too.

He sit besides you as he gently placed your head on his shoulder, so you can cry with a shoulder to support you. You were so exhausted, that you dont even care if this is breaking any rules or protocols. You just want to save people, you just want to be with your team.

“She won’t do anything, I promise you that ill protect and guides you, so hang onto my words.” He said, rubbing the back of your neck and shoulders as you let out tiny gasps, trying to form a sentence.

“T-thank- y-you, Aaron.” is the only thing you managed to speak before the exhaustion wipes you out, the last thing you heard was his voice, “Anytime Y/n, Sleep well.”

——————

Feel free to send me blurb ideas! give this a like and reblog, thank you!

[pigeonxp]

YGCMA songs and how they relate to c!Wilbur based off of yesterday’s lore (in my biased opinion)

This is so dumb and i literally don’t care. I can’t think about anything else other than doing this synopsis even tho like 28480329204 other people are going to do it. idc. 

(I listened to the songs earlier, and i’m also listening to them as i write the opinions. these are basically just my thoughts while listening tbh. im also not doing the full song, just some things i feel relate within each song)

- Jubilee Line

the lines at the beginning of the song, “hate to see you leaving / a fate worse than dying” could relate to how wilbur feels after tommy gets pulled back into the overworld. or, he could be referencing L’Manburg and how he hates to see his country leaving him (ouch). 

then we have the lines “your city gave me asthma / so thats why im fucking leaving / and your water gave me cancer / and the pavements hurt my feelings”. This could be in relation to L’Manburg as a whole. He put everything he had into L’Manburg and it only ended up hurting him in the end. yikes. 

now we have “shout at the wall / ‘cause the walls dont fucking love you” repeated. This could be in reference to when he said he was fucking kicking and screaming to get out of the train station. hes screaming and he doesnt care because it doesnt matter to him. it doesnt love him just like how the people of L’Manburg didnt love him. wilbur get therapy challenge.

so based on the lore from yesterday, we know that c!wilbur’s limbo was a train station (props to fanartists. i love you.), presumably the YCGMA album cover type deal. when he sings “Theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the tube line / theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the rails” repeated. if the train station looks like how they do on the album cover, there could be barriers where he is. maybe hes trying his best to just kill himself over again by jumping onto the tracks. just in an attempt to escape. jfc 

“theres a reason they fail”. he was still in the train station, wasnt he?

- Saline Solution

for this one, i feel like hes pretty far into the void and regretting his decision to have phil kill him. hes tired of being in a fucking train station for years on end. 

“i think this time im dying / im not melodramatic / im just pragmatic beyond any / reasoning for thinking ive got / fuckin rabies or something.” hes so fucking sick of being in this goddamn train station and he thinks hes dying. hes so pent up and sick of being there, maybe hes just in so much pain that he feels like hes dying. if hes been there for a while, hes probably bound to go crazy at some point, hence the “pragmatic beyond any reasoning.”

“I think ive lost my mind / blurring the fact and the fictions” this feels like he really does believe hes going crazy and is mixing up the things he really knows and the things his mind is creating for him. maybe this is when tommy first arrived and he cant tell if he real or not (thats a stretch but i figured id share it anyway.)

“I think ive made my choice / im a deceased playing victim / slip the face, slip the victory” he quite literally says that hes a deceased playing victim. hes literally saying hes dead HAHHAHAH anyway. maybe hes blaming himself again, because us c!wilbur apologists all know that hes very good at doing that.

“Sit secluded in hatred /.../” hes sitting in a fucking train station for god knows how long beating himself up over and over again and just hating himself. hes all alone. with himself. someone he fucking loathes.

this is honestly all i have for Saline Solution, but i will definitely add more later if i get different theories. 

- Since I Saw Vienna

This is my favorite song on the album and my comfort song so that could factor into this bit ahaha

im going to skip through this one a little bit and go to the line “The roads are my home, horizons my target / if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it / treating my memory of you like a fire, let it / burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on” this sounds like hes reminiscing on his home in L’Manburg and his presidency was something he relied on and he would fight to get it back, but now that hes dead and said that it should remain that way that he should just let it go. trying to move on from his symphony, forever unfinished. 

 “its been sixty weeks since i saw vienna / a bandage and a wide smile slapped across my face / ill pick up my hiking boots when i am ready / and ill put down my roots when im dead.” THESE LINES FUCK ME UP IN GENERAL BUT HOW THEY RELATE TO C!WILBUR RN IS JUST SUIBHYSBUSHDXNSKJDNHBD YK???? in the context that vienna is L’Manburg and he died, its saying that its been a long ass time since hes seen it and hes faking being okay about his death. he misses it but doesnt want to admit it. the picking up the hiking boots when hes ready is him moving on from his L’Manburg, and putting his roots down when hes dead is finally being okay with not living there/being an important part of it. he believed his death was the best for the people in L’Manburg and L’Manburg itself. it seems like hes still trying to convince himself. 

“Ill be gone then, for when you must be alone.” hes gone. hes dead. hes in the train station. he left the L’Manburgians alone and hes alone in his limbo. man. 

- Losing Face

this song is angry. hes so fucking angry. my thoughts are that this is about the following presidents after him. he feels like the L’Manburgians were happier without him and im pretty sure he believed that even when Schlatt was president. this is so evident in the lyric “Is he better than me?” Hes literally asking if the other presidents were better than he was. he doesnt believe he did everything he could to be the best president, even though we all know that he gave everything that he was into that country and then some. he broke himself for the L’Manburg but he doesnt believe hes enough. sheesh.

“Ive seen him / ive been him / ive felt the same way” even though he cant see the new presidents being president, he knows what its like. he knows that they might break under the pressure. hes been there. he knows how if feels. yikes. 

“Ive lost all meaning / ive lost my sense of hope” this feels like when he was nearing the end of L’Manburg when he blew it up, and that he feels like trying to win it back is pointless. he has no hope for it anymore, so why not give up? his mental state is already shit yk so i cant really blame him for feeling that way. 

“i dont care / i want you here / as long as youre happy, i dont care” this line. this fucking line. hes lost hope in being president, but he doesnt care. he just wants the L’Manburgians to be happy. that was his whole thought process while he was president. he didnt matter to himself, he just wanted them to be happy. he sacrificed his mental state for them. cries in wilbur apologist.

- Your Sister Was Right

this is my second favorite song on the album i think HAHAHAH

anyway

“I use everyone i ever meet / i cant find the perfect match / abuse those i love / while i ostracize the ones who love me / back.” wowie wow wow fucking ouchie. He feels like he uses his friends. this whole thing is a projection of his shit ass mental state rn fucking hell. he feels like hes abusive. thats what everyones been telling him. they tell him he was awful and a shit president and all that jazz even though hes been killing himself trying to be the best for them but its still not enough (pigeon projecting? more likely than you think)

“every time that i miss you / i feel the way you hurt / and i dont deserve you / you deserve the world / though it feels like we were built / from the same dirt.” man. hes dead lol. he misses the L’Manburgians. not only were they his supporters, but they were all his friends too. every time he misses his friends he feels their pain of when he first blew up L’Manburg. he feels like because he caused them all pain that they dont like him and that they never liked him and that he is undeserving of their friendship. he still wants to be friends with them. he still loves them. he still wants the best for them. he thinks theyre so much better than him even though they all created L’Manburg together. in reality they are all the same, but their actions impact each other and he feels that his actions make him worse than them or less than. fuckisonmdfnpbhife

“and i hate to say it / but your sister was right / dont trust english boys / with far too much free time” sister is dream mayhaps. fuckngeionsfjg that hurt sorry uhhh anyway yeah sister is dream?? he did say that wilbur would be a shit president and he believes that hes a shit president so he thinks they were all right about him being a shit president  fbhjebinfnejg. maybe sister is just everyone who didnt believe in wilbur. man....

“a fucking waste of time” do i even need to explain this one? he fr doesnt belive hes worth it anymore and that hes literally a waste of time. hjkfbhnfve

- La Jolla

this one feels pretty far into train station limbo to me as well. namely from “and im lonely / there i said it” this could either be him being lonely as president and feeling like he doesnt have anyone to talk to really because hes too busy trying to hold himself together for everyone. either that or hes lonely in the station and didnt want to admit it because this is what he wanted. he wanted to die. he wanted to be dead because he believed thats what everyone else wanted and he just wanted the best for them. 

“i could go away / i could pack my things and be gone before you wake” he could leave if they asked him to. he would do anything for them. 

“you know ive tried hard to love me too / it always seems to fall in, through” this line already physically pained me but now it hurts even more having to relate it to a character i love. we already know that his mental state was declining as his presidency continued, but this would confirm that hes just trying to love himself even though he can never seem to get it right. 

“my own personal sunset” this is just the ‘this is my sunrise’ line but different. my man misses the sun. fuck. 

- I’m Sorry Boris

this song is almost definitely from a long ass time in the limbo. 

“and im sorry / but, boris / im leaving / im not good for anyone here” boris represents L’Manburgians!! hes talking about how hes leaving the world by planning on killing himself. fuck. 

“we reached the end of a decade” mans been dead for a decade. sheesh. 

he then goes on to say that he cant believe hes leaving, he doesnt think he wants to leave them, but he thinks its whats best for them.

he talks about how they do all of these bullshit things before helping you and i know its in reference to london but for the sake of my sanity its about the presidency role and how it will fuck you up before bothering to help you not want to kill yourself.  

should i do a separate post about how i visualized it/about how i thought about the song in paragraph form like a lowkey explanation? idk how to explain it but in this one i wanted to just cover some of the lyrics of the songs and my thoughts on them. i think c!wilbur wrote these in the limbo after he died. i know this is also shit and Not Good, but i really just needed to get my thoughts out before it killed me. i also didnt reread this. its probably repetitive and shit yk. i do Not Care. id also love to hear thoughts on this if yall want to. if you made it this far i love you please hydrate and eat today and youre so sexy ahaha 

“and even though im finished / im not quite done with it” even though hes finishing his symphony by blowing it up, hes now realizing he wished he hadnt blown it up and that he hadnt killed himself. man. 

-

[surveysonfleek]

1587.

Does your family have any Christmas traditions? yup. its always xmas eve at my fiances house and xmas day with my family. its been that way for over 10 years haha

Have you been to Mount Rushmore? nope, i heard it was a lot smaller irl

How many of the United States have you been to? >> id say... maybe 10 or more?

Where’s your ideal vacation spot? id love to go to japan. thats the only place left on my bucket list. also nz!

What meal can you absolutely not stand? unpopular opinion buuuut pasta lol

Would you rather live in Idaho, Siberia, or the Australian outback? maybe idaho. surely theres a couple of different sceneries there

Do you get paranoid that someone’s looking at your through your window? haha no, my room is on the second floor

Do you sleep with the door open, kinda open, or completely closed? completely closed

What color would you dye your hair if you HAD to? black

What grade did you get on your last major test? i dont remember

What color was your Gameboy Color? i had a clearish purple one

How many piercings do you have? just two now

Mountains, oceans, or forests? its been a dream of mine stay in a cosy log cabin

Have you colored in a coloring book since age 10? yep!

How many times have you moved/changed houses? ive lived in four houses in my lifetime

When was the last time you “de-haired” your hairbrush? i do this every second day lol

Blistering cold or boiling hot weather? blistering cold. i hate the heat with a passion

Earbuds or headphones? earbuds What was the last movie you saw in theatres? tenet. omg that was so long ago lol

Do you have any friends that are from out of country? yes

Do you want Obama to serve a second term in 2012? old ass survey haha

What’s your lucky number? Does it ever grant any luck? i always choose 5 or 7

Do you take showers so hot, your skin turns pink? no lol

How old were you when you got chicken pox? 6 

Are you afraid that you’ll get swine flu? yep. old survey. covid has def taken over

Are any of your great grandparents still alive? no

Alex Trebek or Bob Barker? >> idk

Wii, Playstation 3, or XBOX 360? ps5!

What’s your sexual orientation? straight

How tall are you? 5′4

Who/what are you obsessed with currently? i just jumped on the ted lasso bandwagon, what a show! also squid game was dope

Have you had any snow days this year? no snow here

Do you need to clip your nails? nope

Could you go for a dip in the jacuzzi right now? no jacuzzi here

What’s your favorite TV show? the office

How much do you weigh? not tellin

Have you ever consumed alcohol? Do you still/are you going to? >> yes, i havent in awhile

What color are your eyes? brown

Do you have full or thinner lips? its somewhere in the middle tbh

Which of the Pirates of the Carribean’s was your favorite? >> the first one coz its the only one i remember tbh

Is Johnny Depp really the hottest man alive? >> haha no! i get the appeal but he doesnt do it for me

Do you have Windows 7? i have mac

Brownies or cake? it depends on the flavour of cake

What did you get for your last birthday? i got a givenchy handbag and a macbook. i got more stuff but those are the ones i remember for obvious reasons

Where’s your significant other? hes at home

Do you press the delete key or the backspace key to get rid of a mistake? backspace

How much blankets do you sleep under? in winter, two. summer one or none haha

[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

Over the moon very messy review (spoilers)

I wasn’t really planning on watching it today but it was so praised on my pot early on that i just had too

And..... I’m confused...

It has some VERY good scenes, plot points, characters, songs, sceneries and some VERY bad scenes, plot points, characters, songs, lyrics and sceneries

I wanted to start by being positive but this whole thing got mixed up

So here’s my thoughts:

- loved chang’e (i gotta google this cause i thought it was chungha like.... chungha the idol). Love her design, love her voice, love her attitude. Best character, never boring. Tall as fuck goddess. She’s right there with eris from sinbad. Muah kisses the chef. Her hair, makeup, outfits, facial expressions. Idk if the voice actress is the same for speaking and singing but the singer from Hamilton is so so good, she made me not mind the godawful lyrics. I wanted more screen time for her cause she honestly saved the movie

- the protagonist girl fei fei is a bit of a positive and negative of the movie. She’s cute but very cliche. There’s 273648 characters like her. Her problems are very real and relatable but u cant just help sigh and think of her as a dramatic teenager u know? I do feel bad and see my teenage self in her cause i do understand but.... shes super dramatic still. I mean.... she went to the fucking moon to avoid her father getting married shes crazy. She went to all that trouble to learn how to make a rocket just to avoid him remarrying... i understand the frustration one might feel, it never happened to me but if it did id probably have very mixed and selfish feelings about it too, but her and the father really should have just talked. A simple conversation would have let her know that he’s lonely but never ever would forget the mother. And the father had time, he just didnt do it so the fault is not all on her. But i guess there would be no movie if they talked, would there?

- the motivations in this movie dont make sense or are just weak.... fei fei wants to build a rocket to the moon to avoid her father from remarrying? Dumb. She wants a pic as proof? Dumb. The brother wants the pic to help the sister? Ok... but he’s literally an 8 year old, they dont give a shit about none of that specially one that just met u. Chang’e wants the gift which is understandable but... why the potion?? Literally just to give the bunnies a love plot thats dumb af. Also, did she really took both immortal pills or whatever it was? It was implied multiple times that she was selfish but idk if she cleared that out

-i loved the Chinese town. Super cozy and friendly. Love how the river is so integral to it like in real life i assume. It’s just so different from the ocident i love it. Please more movies featured in Asia cause they have many gorgeous cultures. I love the sense of community and family, the little details and the food aspect of it. I love how Asian countries combine modern with old so much so that atsome point i didnt really know what year the movie was supposed to be set in.

- the “pre meeting step mother” part of the movie was the best along with chang’e’s scenes. I almost cried even tho the moment the mother fell i knew she was gonna die. I’m getting very emotional with these scenes as i get older even tho both my parents are still alive but i guess those scenes just make me think about when the worse will happen and i dont wanna think of it of course. But the mother was so great and kind. I really felt their bond and love between mother and daughter. And father but u know.

- the bunny was so fucking cute!!!! Until...... it gained super powers and decided to stay with the ugly green love interest?? Wtf... like wtf that was so unnecessary??? A love plot for the bunnies?? Why??? Whyyyyyyyyyyy

- the moon city wasn’t anything special... apart from shiny it was very bland. I wish they had kept more of Chinese culture in it but i did see something on chang’e’s room i think

- every single comic refiro in this movie was BEYOND THE MOON ANNOYING!!!!!!! I understand, even tho i dont aprove it, the existence of the annoying ass 8 year old brother.... BUT THE GREEN DOG TOO???? WHYWHYWHYWHY AND HE SINGS??? NO SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!! He had a cute design but everytime he was there and opened his mouth i just wanted to shoot him I’m not kidding i hate him! NOT TO MENTION that he basically did the relationship development between the siblings in the brothers place!!!! Why does the dog exist????? Fei fei should have bounded in the adventure with the brother!!!! Oh i hated that so much..... I’m so mad.... without the green dog the movie wouldn’t have these weak as hell points

- the ending where the lover fades was ok but just ok. I feel like it was either too rushed and he was disappearing before i even noticed and before he even said anything meaningful or it should have been like the one in onward. It just had little impact imo

- the songs have GREAT VOCALS, the singers are definitely the best part, catchy instrumentals, even tho I’m starting to agree that these movies rely too much on pop songs and not actually musical worthy songs, and the lyrics are bad, really bad.... corny too. So basically about the songs: great vocals, ok instrumentals, bad lyrics. But I’m sure ill rewatch chang’e’s songs cause i love her. Maybe the songs will grow on me with time who knows

- the humor is very modern and i just dont think it fits these kind of movies... the same happened with Moana. It just doesn’t fit the epic adventure with gods vibe i think? It’s also just bad. The comic reliefs were annoying, there’s really no other word, but even the humor from other characters or scenes didnt work

- there’s some very inventive animation here, i loved how they used 2d art even tho i wanted more of it. I love glen keane and how his art style translated. I feel like we can see a bit of him on his disney work but here it just really looked like his art u know? Really good

- i dont like the “the movie had a good message so its good” kind of thought cause many terrible movies have great messages and many great movies have repetitive messages. I thought the message in this movie was a bit repetitive but what made it different for me was that both characters were grieving the loss of different loves, motherly and romantic, and yet they were feeling the same and had to help each other and move on. I dread the day that comes for me. It was nice for fei fei to feel she wasn’t the only one with that pain even tho she just had to move on if she was.

Ok so i think thats it

I think this review i came out too negative but I’m just really torn. There’s some parts of this movie that I couldn’t get enough of and, unfortunately, other parts that were making me wanna turn it off.... i could have ignored the cliches but the 2 very annoying comic characters were too damn much

But i think the positives outweigh the negatives even so

I think I’ll give it a 6/10 or 6.5

Klaus is still my fave animated Netflix movie

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 10 - Stir caused as Don Nomura uploads a photo of his father, Nomura Katsuya's corpse.

K: This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting another episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome.

J, T: Thank you *1

K: Can we have the topic for this episode, Joe.

J: Yes, 'Don Nomura uploads a photo of his father, Nomura Katsuya's corpse to Twitter. Twitter is on fire with calls to delete it.'

Well, the former baseball manager Nomura Katsuya died on the 11th of February, and the photo of his corpse...Well, we say its his son, but they are not related by blood right? Its Nomura's wife, Sachiko's son (*from a previous relationship*). Well, anyway, they are family right? He took a photo of the corpse (*at the funeral*) and uploaded it to social media. Many voices have been raised saying it looks scary or creepy, so 'please delete it'.  Well, how should we think about this? It was a theme which caught my interest.

T: In Japan, we don't generally do that, do we?

J: We don't. Even with the death of close relatives, we don't tend to take photos, do we?

T: Right, we don't take commemorative photos with everyone gathered.

J: No, we don't. I think we tend to give the deceased more of a solemn send off. But I have lived in America for a little while, I mean, not all American's are like this but, you could say for Christianity, they have quite individualistic funerals. Also, when they say goodbye, they sometimes kiss the corpse and so on. Thats normal, and some people even take photos, but the circumstances might change if someone were to upload a photo to social media for all to see. Kaoru, how do you feel about this?

K: Well, lots of people can see it, so maybe its ok to bothered about it...but i don't really mind.  I mean, its his relative, it might be different if it was a stranger...but he's not just some wierdo. Well..I have a feeling its....????*2

T: I've covered Noumra san while I was a sports journalist, and when I was shown this recent photo, in my heart I thought..hmm, his face looks nice, he looks at peace.

J: I see. Well, opinion is very divided on this, but another thought I had about this one photo is...For a while I was chief editor for the magazine Days Japan. Its a photo journalism magazine, and it quite often included war photos. And in that case, well, for war in the middle east etc, the bodies of people who had died were visible in them, so there was a lot of debate about whether or not we should run them. At that time, one line that we took was that, for example, we would not run photos of people who had died in natural disaters, but in relation to war, we thought we must think about why it happened, and that the bodies might hold a message in relation to that. Obviously, we avoided very grotesque photos, but we did run numerous photos of bodies for this reason. Another thing I also conversely thought is, well at this point I don't know if movies do this, but there is a documentary movie called, 'Utanohajimari', I went to see it recently and was quite surprised. At the beginning of the movie, there is a birth scene, and there was a message warning viewers about the scene, that it wouldn't be censored. It was written that you will be watching it uncensored. So I thought, oh ok, but at the same time, in relation to birth and death, the two biggest events in a persons life, the start and the end...in this country we can't quite express ourselves freely. Its essentially a culture of trying to hide these things...I vaguely thought about this. We can get whatever  information we need to live our lives from all sorts of places, and if we don't have that we are seen as falling behind. But, as humans we need to think about why we are here, why we die, where did we come from, where are we going...well, its getting a bit philosophical, but we are living in a comparatively blinkered fashion in this respect. If you upload a photo like this to social media in a country where this type of thing is always concealed, you don't know if they is gonna be a kind of allergic reaction to it. In music and the arts and stuff, there are themes of death, and other things that we should be thinking about, but I think community in this country is missing these expressions....I mean, this photo is not intended  as a work of art, is it, Nomura san's body? Ive kinda thought about that.

K: I thought so too, you don't see it often do you? There was that...???*3

J: Ah, yes yes

K: There was a lot in that. Compared to that, this is..

J: Well, its true, in this country birth and death aren't exactly 'taboo', but we deal with it....Well, we are not a particularly religious country, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Kami: As for me..

J: Oh, he's here.

Kami: I saw that photo, the photo of him wearing his uniform, and I was moved.

J: Oh he was moved.

Kami: Mmm, I though 'Ah, its Nomura san', and like, 'Oh, The Swallows (*baseball team) .

J: I see. Instead of Rakuten, right?

Kami: No instead of the Hawkes where he got a triple crown. Like, he was greater when he became a manager. Like with Yakult. He kind of raised those teams.

K: He was worldly.

T: If he'd been wearing Hanshin or Rakuten uniforms it would be a bit....right?

K: Yeah. He'd say, 'No, not those!'.

J: I really think so.

K: I think Nomu san had great power with Hanshin and Rakuten. Later Hoshino san also had a lot of success, but yeah, think Nomu san had great power.

J: He made them, right? The base for a winning team.

K: But of course, the Swallows...

J: Yeah, whatever you say, Nomu san was there, and raised Furuta. At that time, we didn't know how far the word 'ID baseball' would go.

T: Thats right.

J: I think its amazing how that penetrated the world.

Kami: Its amazing how he got a triple crown as a catcher. But he didn't really boast about that during his active years. People are thinking of the Swallows when they see him in uniform now right? Thats what i imagine anyway. He wasn't like 'Look at me!', he was more like one of the team. I feel it deeply, I feel the art.

J: Certainly I think it has that kind of message.  By the way, do you become a god after dying? How does it work? Are you born a god? I've always wanted to know this.

Kami: Gods?  Gods are there from the start.

J: Oh from the start? You are born a god?

Kami: No, we're not born, we just are.

J: Oh its like that?

T: Thats complex

J: I see, thats deep.

K: They already are, right?

J: Yeah

Kami: Gods don't have a beginning or an end.

K: Wow

J: Is that so?

K: I want to try saying that.

J: Right. ..He hasn't even proved once that he's real though.

K: But it means you must be around for billions of years.

Kami: Its not billions of years, iｍ ever-lasting. 

K: Oh, again.

J: Out it comes. He came out with that.

Kami: You guys just can't understand it.

K: No, we can't, not at all.

J: He always says it in a really cool voice too.

T: If i said that to my wife, she would laugh at me so much.

J: 'Im ever lasting too'.

*K laughs*

J: She'll usually say 'whats wrong with you?!'

This is really terrible. So, Kami, you don't die, you are not born?

Kami: Yeh, im timeless.

K: But you have an hourly wage, right?

*J laughs*

J: He has no concept of time but he works for an hourly wage!

Kami: Yes, thats right.

J: He's so stupid.

T: An incredible god.

J: I mean it. A god who needs money, like he needs to eat.

K: Its realistic right?

J: Yes, realistic.

K: He drops in just like that, doesn't he.

J: Im thankful for him...Well i have some sympathy for him, he's ever lasting, but he still has to eat, and earn a living. I don't know if im thankful or not thankful.

Kami: Thats why people call me a cheater.

T: He worries a lot about getting called a cheater.

K: We hear it a lot though.

T: Right, its hitting him where it hurts.

J: He says it everytime, I think if effects him a lot. But like Kami says..wearing a Yakult uniform...right?

K: Yeah

J: And his face looked really peaceful. I think perhaps, living in this country, we are a bit too indifferent towards birth and death.

K: There were probably quite a few young people who have never seen this kinda of thing before, so they won't be used to it if they are seeing it for the first time.

T: Its quite a complicated feeling coming into close contact with death or a dead body like that. When my relatives, or my grandma etc have died...I can't put that feeling into words, when you see them..what is that feeling. Do you have that experience, Joe?

J: Well, yes within my family, or friends. You can't put it into words...

T: Its a kind of lonliness, but not quite..and also a bit frightening. Its very difficult to express...the feeling when a person dies.

K: In those times, its like there is an atmosphere of trying not to say anything wierd. Like, there are certain set greetings like 'Im sorry for your loss'. There's this kind of pattern. I think that creates this kind of atmosphere.

J: Yeah, maybe.....I know a lot of people in bands, and when that type of person dies, thier funerals are quite individualistic..its kind of a relief to see. There are different ways to pay respects or connect with a death, and I think we ought to consider that more. I don't think its right to make death into a taboo.

T: Recently, Uchida Yuya san had a very 'rock' send off, didn't he?

J: Yes, he did! ...so I had these thoughts and picked up on this news.

K: Well, lets finish up here. Everyone please subscribe.

T, Kami: Please.

J: Thank you very much

*1 Im wondering what's the best way to translate 'よろしくお願いします/yoroshiku onegaishimasu'..

*2, 3 These bits frustrate me, as I can hear what he's saying, but i can't seem to figure out what he means. I feel like im missing something really obvious.

[planetjisungie]

lucky charms- h.rj

characters; ravenclaw! renjun x hufflepuff! reader ft. gryffindor! mark and gryffindor! jeno (sigh)

summary; with the exams coming up, you need a little help with your charms. well you dont, you just needed an excuse to talk to your long time crush, huang renjun

an; i literally changed this on the spot 🤡 plot holes here i come- (also id like to think jeno is more of a hufflepuff but idk man)

sigh okay this is a long boi

end of year exams were in just a few weeks

yay, your absolute favourite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarcasm

now, charms

in room 99, classroom 2E in the south tower

i did my research

you were pretty good at charms, not nearly as good as you were in the care of magical creatures and herbology though

still above averagely good

you know who else was good at charms?

huang renjun

the star ravenclaw prince boy, the pride of the house and a very beautiful boy

best boi renjun

if jeno was being quite honest he was SICK AND TIRED of hearing you two pine over eachother

jeno met you in first year, and you quickly became best friends and even ended up in the same house as eachother

despite having different friend groups (your friend group consisted of you and eunji), you stayed best friends until now aka 5th year

just go with it okay

so as he was saying before i digressed, jeno physically is pained as he watched the longing glances both you and renjun throw when the other isnt looking

but it isnt his business to meddle with your lack of relationship problems

best boi part 2

BUT! but! he will give you both a tiny! eensy! little! minuscule! nudge

that nudge being forming a plan with you

you were slightly reluctant when jenos very enthusiastic face greeted you at the table saying he had ‘a totally brilliant, spectacular, show stopping, wonderful, flawless plan’

this was jeno we were talking about

the same boy who planned the failed midnight snack run a few weeks before

and as soon as he mentioned renjun your eyes narrowed

"proceed."

the plan was for jeno to ask renjun to tutor his friend who was falling behind in charms

said friend was you

and you were ahead of the class

bUT!! you agreed because he wasnt in your class, so there was no way he could know that right?

wrong.

who was in your class?

mark lee. one of renjuns best friends.

also the boyfriend of eunji and the reason you wanted to gauge your eyeballs out everytime you turned around to talk to them

thats right eunji ditched you to sit next to her little markie. bitch.

nonetheless, you agreed because your dumb, spontaneous ass forgot that renjun even knew mark, because if someone said ‘whos mark?’ you would go ‘eunjis boyfriend’

so of course, when all the students were making their way to their class, jeno caught up with renjun seeing as they both had muggle studdies

"hey man, i have a favour to ask"

stage one of operation: stop the oblivious fuckers from pining over eachother (that name may need some revamping) was a-go

"depends what said favour is"

smart boi™️

"is it possible to tutor one of my friends in charms for the upcoming OWLs?"

oh? this piqued china pretty boys interest

"i mean, sure, i could do with some revision too. tell them to meet me at the library after school"

and so jeno walked away with a smug smirk, victorious

and when jeno told you he had agreed later in potions, you were yet you werent surprised

so of you trotted after last period, kinda nervous because youre about to be in the literal breathing proximity of renjun

like obviously youve talked to him before but this time it was just you and him

alone

no get those thoughts out of your head

n e ways u perv

renjun sat at the back table, textbooks and notebooks with his neat writing in both chinese and korean all over the pages

smart boi part 2

so seeing him not looking at you

attention whore

wow why am i so mean today

you sat down and cleared your throat, placing your blank notebooks on the table so the boy wouldnt get suspicious

you had to pray to whatever gods were listening for your cheeks not to flare up the colour of the strawberries you had for breakfast

healthy girl™️

and the gods apparently answered your prayers

because as soon as renjun looked up and into your eyes you swore you were too distracted for your blood cells to even think about moving towards your face

and renjun nearly had a heart attack (by aoa)

poor boy

jeno had NOT told him that he would be tutoring you

he was going to be choked later

"sorry im late"

renjun was nearly offended that you would even apologise to him for being late by

2 minutes and 48 seconds

"no no its okay i havent been here long"

that was a lie he had study period last and has been sat in the same goddamn chair for an hour already but your presence made his ass cheeks ache less

so he started teaching you, but ???

you seemed to fully grasp the concepts

confused boi

excuse me ma’am/sir/señor/señorita whatever you prefer to go by-

you need to brush up on your acting skills dude

appalling smh your drama teacher back from your muggle school would be completely distraught

so for the next hour renjun ‘tutored’ you

things you already knew but this was a dream-

and actually he was a funny guy

he was also muggle born, so you could both relate over things you experienced as a kid

this lead to a raging debate over dora the explorer

that bitch was shaded in said debate, fully annihilated

hola soy dora your asshole

but,, it was fun. because jeno was pureblood and grew up knowing about all his magicky stuff so he was kinda boring sometimes

no tea no shade

but you ended the session with smiles on both your faces, cheeks literally aching with how hard youd been laughing and smiling

so lads

the next day at breakfast renjun was all happy, plonking himself next to mark at the gryffindor table because

man does not give a SHIT about the looks he was getting. he is huang renjun.

"why are you so smiley this morning? and why didn’t you come to my common room last night"

the gryffindor common room was the dreamie hang out

no one dared tell THE mark lee to go somewhere else with his friends

"sorry, last night i was tutoring y/n in charms" smiley boy still

mark seagull eyebrows: activated

excuse him?? charms?? you?? the one who got an outstanding in your report card??

something smells fishy here

"renjun... y/n got an outstanding on her charms"

eunji who had magically appeared next to mark basically said what he was just thinking

confused boi part ??

"wait what?"

but later on he didnt question you about it

he silently observed you

he told himself that anyway

quite honestly if you were spending time with him he was not about to complain

he was staring at you, simply put

my leng bby (thats you, youre my leng bby)

so for the next 2 weeks every day after school you would meet up to ‘catch up’ on your charms

that being said it literally always, every time, ended up with you two talking about something unrelated

like the 5th day you had a conversation about which series of power rangers was better

"SPD, obviously"

AM I THAT OLD?? on god i hate it here

"no, y/n, we all know that dino force is better"

i agree with y/n on this one pal

on the 7th day you talked about muggle sports that you both enjoyed

"i played a lot of cricket"

"cricket? okay tory"

"i am NOT a tory"

on the last day when you should have been, you know, LEARNING

you were having a lovely old chinwag about the x factor

"simon cowell is a king"

"i agree"

legend behaviour if you ask me

wait does chinwag exist in other countries??? translation: chat

so of course the exams came up

but you were dreading them for a different reason

this meant the end of tutoring with renjun

this was super bittersweet, you wanted to spend more time with eachother

you literally could it wasn’t that deep both of you are so dumb smh aint nothing stopping you

jeno agrees with me too, mans pulling out his hair still as you had somehow not gotten together yet

it was like watching snails race, incredibly frustrating but you know that there is the finish line somwhere over the horizon

so you took your exams and both of you passed with flying colours, obviously

smart kids

and you ran right to renjun to celebrate

seeing as he had

not really helped you but you thought that he thought he helped you

oh no honey he knew that you didnt need help

but he didnt know whether to confront you about it?

rip your guilty conscience

so after a long discussion with mark, our china boy decided to ask why the heck you wanted his help when you were absolutely fully capable

unlike mark

and when you saw him approach you first in the halls your heart went

NYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

that was the sound of a fast motorbike

"hi y/n"

‘damn renjun, couldnt have thought of anything better than that?’

"uhh hi renjun"

awkward silence by stray kids

"i just wanted to know why you asked for my help"

okay where is the nearest shovel and what is the most efficient way to dig a large hole-

as if renjun sensed your panic radiating off you in waves

which he did

"not that it was an issue! i enjoyed spending time with you, it was just, you didnt really need help"

he was a pure boy

so you puffed your cheeks and decided to just come clean

somewhere, jeno felt his senses tingling

"genuinely i just wanted to spend some time with you because i really like you"

renjun froze and wanted to smack his head into a wall

bruh

you noticed his expression and panicked yet again

stop panicking man its okay i gotchu

"it was jenos idea"

blame jeno is always a fool-proof plan b

unless you get pregnant, that would not be a good idea

so i guess its not fool proof

BUT I DIGRESS

renjun face palms and groans

"youre kidding me! all this time we wasted doing boringass charms work when we couldve gone on dates"

confusion™️

but?? you felt hopeful??

"i dont think im on the same wavelength"

"i like you too dumbass"

oH so YOURE the dumbass??

yes, yes you are renjun is best boi, accept the L which is really a W bc renjun likes you back

jeno who had found his way to you, listening from around the corner sighed in happiness

"fucking finally!!"