#and if this isn't enough to work with (bc i realize i left it sort of at a passive spot) plz lmk! i'll be happy to add or change anything

[just-null]

YO, SUPER LATE SUPER LONG SUPER MESSY OCTOBER POST THAT I JUST SHOVED EVERYTHING INTO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO DO MULTIPLE. FUCK IT.

I forgot halfway that these were supposed to be costumes and not mini aus... SO REMEMBER IN MY PLACE, EVERYTHING IS HYPOTHETICAL. also. some have a bit of yandere elements to them bc its SO FITTING FOR NORITOSHI.

Happy late October, everyone. it's winter now. Let's get it, baby.

[Long rambles and doodles under the cut!]

Vampire!

I kept asking myself, "How sexy is too sexy.." and "How the fuck does a sexy vampire even look like without it being a shirtless guy w fangs or Edward Cullen....." I think I figured it out

Sure, sure, vampires are superhumans with sun allergies that can drink blood really hotly. They can also easily overpower you to feast and blah blah blah, but what if said vampire (Noritoshi) was too weak to do any of that? Not literally, but he craves your say. He wants not only your blood but your affection. He wants to get praised as he drinks you in. Are you comfortable? How much will you allow him to take? Do you want to get him back in return? Guidance with this makes him feel more at ease. It's still Noritoshi at the end of the day. He's going to find a way to be a little awkward about you because of his crush. He refuses to drink from anyone other than you, even if it causes his death. Therefore, he has to keep you healthy! For the rest of your lives..! Besides, he can't really go outside or else he'd.. y'know. So if you think about it, this is a very beneficial relationship for both of you!!

The only downside is that you're losing blood on the regular, and for some reason, more people are moving away... Probably nothing, right? Noritoshi is always there to keep you company and help you recover anyways.

Witch!

my attempts also bled into the witch design.... you got greedy with requesting two in one ask, but I'll spoil you this time bc I also wanted to see Noritoshi as a (sexy) vampire and witch. heh. AND I DIDNT REALIZE HED BE SO CUTE AS A WITCH..... WHAT THE FUCK?? rip momo, fight for your title of cute witch...

Noritoshi strikes me as one of those witches who'd rather be left to their own devices because they're running some important magic whatever in the background. though, he'll take some breaks and indulge you if you insist on having him around. Insist meaning you pass by and strike conversation, leaving him to neglect anything and everything to prioritize his time with you. He doesn't want to use magic on you unless it's beneficial for either you or both. Noritoshi likes a natural progression with you that he knows for a fact is true and not some product of some spell. Though it doesn't mean he wouldn't use charms and such to get you to interact with him more often to speed up the process!

Can't sleep? He has a remedy perfect for that! Bad luck? Oh no, take a charm. Nerves? A potion he perfected will help you ease your jitters. Annoying peers? With a snap of Noritoshi's fingers, they're gone! Just don't ask what happened. Enjoy yourself instead and come to him with any new issue. He's quick to resolve it.

Definitely has some sort of doll that looks suspiciously like you.. Noritoshi would probably talk to it and practice one liners that give you the strongest sense of nostalgia once he uses them. He's simultaneously giddy that the charm he put in the doll works but also a little annoyed that his hard work isn't surprising you, but leaving you with deja vu.

Idol!

i was crying the entire time bc what does an idol look like.... noritoshi is handsome enough to be an idol without actually being an idol... now i can confirm that idols are very well dressed though. thumbs up 100% but i had some thoughts...

[Idol]

Noritoshi would be the type to cherish his fans, but hold clear favoritism over you. he'd be those idols that look cold, but they talk, and they sound smug in a charming way. i don't know much about idols, but i know he'd be so fucking good.... he'd be the type of guy to sing to you amongst the hundreds in the crowd.... ahhh the interviews w these famous aus. they're just talking and acting like themselves. can you imagine Noritoshi getting asked the question if he has a lover or not? he can lie, im sure you're alright with that, but he doesn't want to!! he does have someone!!! someone he loves more than all his fans love for him combined!!! he just can't say it for the sake of your privacy and his career. so Noritoshi does what any charming guy who's good with their words does. he deflects the question. answering the question, but not really, that'd be something he's known for. fans online are split on why Noritoshi does this. some think he's trying to keep that side of his life private, others think he's trying to mess around, and others think he's hiding a secret lover!!! though the last one is usually seen as the outlandish one, sometimes it makes Noritoshi's heart drop bc they get some things right. "Having a lover is a complicated question hidden behind a simple disguise. If I had to answer, I'd say my lovers are my audience. they make sure i'm well cared for, some more than others." AND HIS FUCKING LITTLE SMIRK I CANT COUGHS UP BLOOD. IM A THEORIST TOO. SECRET LOVER. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

ON THE FLIP SIDE....

[Not an Idol]

An amusing thought where Noritoshi goes out in his casual clothes, and he's mistaken for an idol. No one knows who he is, but he just looks like he'd be one. bro's just trying to buy groceries, and now he has a fan group asking him to take pictures with them.. He'd tell them that he's just a guy, not an idol, but the group would still want a picture with him. it'd be a waste to pass by someone who's so naturally gorgeous, so with a sigh of defeat, he relents. It's just a photo, right? No harm done. Noritoshi'd go home and feel overwhelmed/embarrassed by the whole ordeal. later, he gets a call from someone in the kyoto group or you to inform him how he's all over social media, known as that handsome guy in the supermarket. HED BE COMPLETELY UNREACHABLE TO MEDIA OUTLETS BC NORITOSHI IS THAT GUY WHO DOESNT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA.... he'd have to make one to make sure no one pretends to be him online. "Hello, I don't use social media, but I've been informed I've been getting attention online. To prevent anyone from being fooled by an impersonator, this is my official and only account. thank you." P.R. STATEMENT WRITING ASS.. his single post gets flooded with likes, comments, and DMs. it almost blows up his phone..... he was just buying bread, dude...... people try to dig up and find him through the other Kyoto group's social media.

[bonus] my second in command requested to put him in a fem idol outfit bc he thought it was funny. after frothing at the mouth and coughing out blood, I complied.

Doctor!

THIS IS SUCH A STRAIGHT FORWARD ASK BUT IT HAS SO MANY IMPLICATIONS. MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER.. THOSE EMOJIS GIVE ME A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION BUT IM NOT SURE.

Noritoshi as a doctor...... apple sales would plummet. his little clinic's business would skyrocket. sick cases would peak in his area. getting your heart checked by his stethoscope would be so fucking embarrassing bc all he'd hear is THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

LIKE IMAGINE IF THAT WAS YOUR DOCTOR? BRO.

COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH COUGH.

Noritoshi would probably own a small clinic that he wants to expand. That or he opened one after working for a hospital for a while. He's a great doctor who's most likely respected but a pain in the ass to work with. Among patients, he's gotten the hot doctor reputation. Most want to be treated by him, but he's so professional, any chance of trying to flirt goes down the drain. Yeah, he puts his hair up to avoid it in his face even though his eyes are closed classic lab safety procedures. He seems like the type to have a soothing but authoritative voice during examination, so he gets his message across. it's a bit difficult when dealing with patients for Noritoshi. If he sees them too often, he firstly scolds you for not taking care of yourself, then feels guilty for not giving you the proper care. Keep yourself safe and healthy, or else Noritoshi will clearly :( Putting him in a yandere setting would be dangerous. He'd have a lot of control over you, considering he can prescribe medication, shots, visits, and other things.... he'd have a ball.... nothing that would cause you any harm, of course. he's only looking out for you and doing what's best for you..!

Pirate!

my second in command wanted a pirate. pirates are so fucking cool and i know damn well if this guy were a pirate he'd have a bunch of battle scars under that fancy coat.

Noritoshi as a pirate would be more than a little odd, but also fitting. He looks like the type of guy who'd be well put together, yet he's willing to get his hands dirty. Like the guy who got into the pirate life because of some personal issue that couldn't be solved fast enough through conventional means. Even as a pirate, i imagine he holds everyone to high standards. They're still pirates though.. so his expected standards aren't even that high. He has more freedom here, so even he himself lets loose once or twice. Especially with you. He's even able to get away with more violent actions for you, the seas are unpredictable, after all. While taking some treasure, Noritoshi'd toss you a gem or golden coin, just so you can say you were the first to claim it. Just so he can see that happy glint in your eyes when getting your hands on treasure. God forbid anyone try to get their hands on your hard earned goods. They'd be met with a bullet to the foot or a sword at their neck. Everyone and their mother knows how you're his favorite, but Noritoshi downplays it. Its not a crime to help out someone from his crew is it? Not in the seven seas. He leans more into his cold ruthless killer side here. He has goals and people to help keep in line whether hes captain or not. Yet when around you, he's almost adorable in how he shows you a pearl so entrancing that it reminded him of you.

Corpse Bride!

my submission to my Noritoshi Halloween costume closet.. CORPSE BRIDE, THIS MOVIE FUCKS. esp w the yandere elements.

Noritoshi 100% made you recite the wedding vows to him before accepting the ring. If you fumbled up, he'd correct you with SO much attitude and expect you to start from the top until you got it perfectly.

Hypothetically, in the chalice scene towards the end..

Noritoshi is the type to never be fully relaxed unless he knows for sure you'll be eternally his. In this scenario, YOU proposed to HIM but have to die to continue being together. Not only that, but someone in the living world is also after your heart. Someone who bleeds. Someone who's the obvious choice. Someone who can give you the life that you deserve. Someone who will succeed in their pursuits if you. remain. alive. Noritoshi's life was cut short, yet he still managed to lose so much and be abandoned a considerable amount of times. When he meets you and finds out about the possibility of having to go through that again even in death, it finally clicks in his rotting mind. He realizes he's been doing something wrong to keep constantly failing. Noritoshi revises his methods to a more.. selfish course. Why should he care about anyone else's wants or how his actions hurt them? You were the only one who made him truly fulfilled, to make him feel alive. The only one who deserves anything and everything good that comes from this world. Destiny is never done toying with him when he realizes your marriage is invalid because of your pulse and his lack thereof no matter how hard he'd try, but the opportunity arises. of course, he's ecstatic to give you an afterlife worth much more than what a silly beating heart can achieve. "All people die eventually. If you miss your living family or friends, all it takes is patience, darling. I'll wait by your side in the meantime." He weighs the pros and cons of everything, but when it comes to swaying manipulating your thoughts he only highlights the ones that'll get you on his side. in this case, the pros of dying to be with him! Honestly, the answer was so obvious that Noritoshi didn't know why he was stressing about it before. It hurts him to see you in any type of pain, but he reassures both himself and you that it'll only be for a moment. Afterward, he'll have the rest of your afterlives to make it up to you!! What happened to Till Death Do Us Part? Noritoshi thinks it's insulting that something as shallow as that could be so widely accepted. If your love were true, it wouldn't stop just because the world decided to take them away. "Till death do us part? Darling, don't be silly. 'Not even death will do us part' feels much better, doesn't it?" 

[nekrosdolly]

albert wesker hcs (re0-1)

hi!! first post! let me know if it's ooc or not, i'm trying. tysm for reading! tags below.

cw; fluff, angst, hurt/no comfort, follows the events of re1. boyfriend! wesker bc he's so sillypants and i love him lol. not proofread, written under the influence, whoops! somewhat clingy but mostly cold reserved bf wesker. jill and chris mentioned, valenfield implied.

petnames used; primrose, little dove.

boyfriend wesker!, who's not always the most affectionate but makes sure to always have a hand on you at all times, unless you're apart. he's always holding either your hand, your waist, or the back of your neck. his hands are slightly calloused, cold, and smooth from both his lines of work. you'd shudder upon initial comment, mutter something about his fingers being "cold as ice," and melt into his touch anyway.

boyfriend wesker!, who, when you're away, sends you updates on his day so you're not worried where he's gone. if he's reading a book, he'll send you a line that makes him think of you, be it a fact or something a character said. when he's working and you're at home, he's frequenting his Nokia 6150 in his office to see if you've messaged him. he's private about your relationship with all his coworkers, Umbrella or R.P.D.

boyfriend wesker! who hasn't told you about his job at Umbrella, and likely won't for your own safety. He can't risk getting his little dove involved, especially if you're not the science type. he only tells you things you'd want to hear about his position at the R.P.D.- stories of Chris being an astounding meathead and Jill's crush on him. he'd update you on developments because he knows you like that sort of thing, even if you say you don't. off-handedly, he'd mention Barry's family, and look at you with some odd kind of longing.

boyfriend wesker!, who is incredibly protective deep down, but refuses to act out or make either of you look foolish. if you're getting hit on, he'll intervene on your behalf and simply pull you aside. he knows it's not your fault. he could never be mad at you, his primrose.

boyfriend wesker!, who has a very big soft spot for you. while he's cold with anyone else, you are the only one he'll let some of his walls down for. he feels bad for lying to you about certain things, but he has good intentions- or so he thinks.

boyfriend wesker!, whose feelings are stronger than he thought they could be for someone. his heart yearns for you at all times, and though he doesn't say it often, he would kill for you. his own feelings scare him at times- when he wakes up in the middle of the night, you by his side snoring away, and wonders how he got here in the first place. it's those times he might pull away and try to close himself up again.

boyfriend wesker!, who pushes you away when he can't handle his feelings. he reprimands himself for not being in control of himself- that's all he really wants, control. he tries to keep himself at a good distance so you're content with him, so you trust him. he doesn't realize he's manipulating you, nor that he's hurting you. he doesn't think he can.

boyfriend wesker!, who, when you end up leaving him (as you should), doesn't bat an eye. although it does hurt, he knows better than to beg, god forbid cry, at your feet as an attempt to keep you for longer. he has never been that kind of man. instead, he wishes you well and helps you pack your things. of course he's curious as to why you're leaving and in due time, he'll make all your suspicions come to life. soon enough. he'll confirm your worst fears- that he's been hiding from you, lying to you, for your entire relationship.

ex-boyfriend wesker!, who, months after the breakup, isn't over you. still sleeps with a shirt you left behind used as a pillowcase for a pillow he hugs to get comfortable. he'll wake up in the morning at times and feel around for you, his heart sinking in his chest at the reality of your absence. when he gets ready and stares annoyedly at himself in the mirror while he brushes his teeth. imagines it's you slicking his hair back with a light-feeling gel instead of himself. if he thinks about it for too long, he can hear you making little comments about how long his hair has gotten or how soft it is. his lips press into a thinner line at that, and his jaw clenches.

ex-boyfriend wesker!, who carries out his plans to get rid of S.T.A.R.S. and wonders what you'd think of him now after he's tried to kill his employees (and almost succeeds. that damn Chris.) you wouldn't look at him the same, but the twisted and frankly delusional part of him hopes you'll tell him that it's okay. that you'll still kiss him how you used to, or touch his arm and reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong, that he's justified in his actions. although these delusions would only carry him so far, as he needs the real you- not just an apparition of you.

[quibbs126]

so I heard that you allow oc x canon fankids.. so erm, would you mind making a fankid for my oc Sour Butter Cookie and Dark Choco cookie?? no pressure though!

Sour Butter (they/them) was raised in the St. Pastry Order along with Pastry Cookie, however, after seeing the true intentions of the order and seeing the manipulation and indoctrination of young cookies by the order, they decided to leave the order in secret. They tried to convince Pastry Cookie to come with them, but Pastry Cookie wanted them to stay in the order together, so Sour Butter had no choice but to leave without her. Sour Butter Cookie now runs a "church" that serves as some sort of hospital and refuge for cookies, devoting themselves to helping cookies that feel under the false teachings of the St.Pastry Order. I ship them with Dark Choco bc they both are my precious little blorbos🥺🥺

I finished faster than I normally do, but here’s Butter Fudge Cookie

Okay, so I have to admit right off the bat, I didn’t really know anything about Sour Butter when I went to make her. I know I like the pictures, and I try to keep up to date with the designs if I know the artist who made them, but I don’t usually take the time to read them, I’m sorry. All I really knew was they were connected to the St Pastry but weren’t part of it, and the pictures gave me shady vibes

Also note for others that this is true of basically every OC that gets requested. I usually either have only seen them in the ask or I’ve haven’t taken the time to read their descriptions. Pretty much all I know about them is what is provided in the ask, so if the ask doesn’t have a description, I am only operating off of vibes from the design. And sometimes I don’t realize the asks have a description attached until I’m done. Sorry about that

Anyways, I got to the ask to post her, and I saw Sour Butter had a short blurb attached, and when I went and reread that I realized her vibe didn’t match, so I did a quick change of her character to better match. And also slight design tweak

Anyways, so on to Butter Fudge, so she lives in the church with her parents. She can be sweet and help out around the place, but also she can be a bit mischievous sometimes. Ever since she was a kid, she knew her parents and those around her consider her cute, and she sometimes will use that to either get away with things or do stuff she isn’t really supposed to. She usually doesn’t get herself into too serious of messes, but know that there may be shenanigans you didn’t sign up for if you engage with her

I’d say she’s somewhere in her teenage years right now. She’s not a kid (because I didn’t design her that way), but she isn’t entirely old enough to realize she probably shouldn’t use her charms to get her way

She visits her grandpa on occasions and she dresses more Dark Cacaoian since she just likes their style

Anyways, that’s about it for Butter Fudge. It’s not really much, but she’s got some character

Now on to her name. I don’t entirely know what butter fudge (or more accurately it seems, cookie butter fudge) is, but it was because of the two parts of the names. I wanted something that incorporates both chocolate and butter, and I remembered “oh yeah, fudge is commonly associated with chocolate, maybe there’s some kind of butter fudge” and lo and behold. Also, it’s a light brown color, which I thought was a good in between

Cookie butter fudge:

So I'm gonna be honest, I'm not too sure about her hair. It was what was giving me trouble in the rough sketch up top left, and all I really had was "symmetrical, but also not all over the place". Maybe she needs longer hair or something, I'm not sure. I think it looks better in the little sketch though

To be honest, there isn't really much to say on the design front. She has browns because the fudge was light brown and it works with it. She has squares because fudge is square shaped

I do wonder if maybe she should have had some contrasting color somewhere, since her design is pretty much all shades of brown/orange, but I don't know where or what. She did originally have some light blues from Sour Butter, but I thought the yellows worked better

Overall I think her design's fine, it works. Though I do feel like she doesn't live up to the bangers that are some of my other OC x canon fankids

And yeah, that's Butter Fudge, I hope you enjoy her

[zukkaoru]

Hi, same anon as before haha, could you ever make a post about visually impaired/blind dazai?

ooo yes i do love the idea of dazai being blind in one eye/otherwise visually impaired. personally i am biased towards him having a prosthetic eye but this is just because of an inside joke with my sister sfdgfhj anyway have some thoughts (specifically based off dazai being blind in one eye/having one prosthetic eye):

for a while, ranpo is the only one in the ada who knows bc dazai is very good at hiding it. they don't say anything bc it's not their business, but they do try to make sure they either approach dazai on his left or make their footsteps loud enough that dazai can clearly hear them coming

yosano is second to figure it out bc she's a doctor. but she only catches on to the fact that dazai is somehow visually impaired and doesn't figure out the specifics until later

kunikida figures it out after a case where dazai gets injured bc the attacker came at him on his blind side and there was too much other commotion going on for him to hear them approach

obviously he's like why would you not tell me this!!!! it's KIND OF IMPORTANT!!!!!

dazai brushes it off like "haha i just forget everyone else has two working eyes :P" but really he. didn't want to expose any weaknesses to the agency members until he knew they could be trusted

after that it's treated sort of like an open secret at the ada. no one really talks about it, but yosano, ranpo, and kuni all do their best to cover dazai's blind side whenever they can. even if 98% of the time he doesn't need it

for a while, junichirou, kenji, atsushi, and kyouka have no idea. bc no one ever talks about it, the older ada members sort of. just. forget the younger ones would have no way of knowing.

so probably they find out when dazai makes some dumb joke about it. and they're all like HELLO????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY HAVE ONE FUNCTIONING EYE!?

chuuya ofc knows and has known since they were like fifteen. they also always did their best to cover dazai's blind side when they worked with him (this i think is canon to some extent,, a lot of official art has chuuya on dazai's blind side during their pm days when his eye was bandaged)

most of the rest of the mafia had no idea what was wrong with dazai's eye (or if there even was anything wrong with it) but also,, no one was going to just ask. mori is the only other person in the pm who knows what happened

dazai likes to joke that he and kunikida have "one working eye total between the two of them" bc kunikida's eyesight is pretty bad without his glasses

most of the agency members walk loud enough that dazai can hear them coming so he isn't caught off guard regardless of which direction they approach from. the one exception to this is kyouka. she has scared him on multiple occasions by approaching from the right. once she realizes what the issue is, she does her best to approach from the left

ranpo does occasionally try to bribe her to sneak up on dazai bc they think it's funny to see him try to mask his surprise. she may have given in once or twice. but only because they promised to buy her crepes.

nikolai & dazai visually impaired worsties,,

^^ they both make jokes about it all the time, bouncing back and forth off each other. everyone around them is annoyed and no one thinks it's funny at all but neither of them care

okay this got longer than i was planning so i'll end here but. yes <3

[ursaspecter]

Charthur headcanons bc idk I'm evil

Arthur made the first move. Charles always had to be careful being both gay and black in the 1800s. One wrong move could've been disaster.

Arthur and Charles both quietly crushed on each other for a while leading up to the Blackwater Massacre, but right before shit hit the wall, Arthur was going to confess his feelings.

Of course Arthur is so emotionally constipated he only sort of gets his point across before they have to pack up and leave.

But Charles sort of catches on, leading him to offer Taima for Arthur to ride in Ambarino as a way to sort of tell him he at least feels the same somewhat

It's nowhere near them actually saying "I have feelings for you" but it's a start. At least now after The Aftermath of Genesis they know the other one actually likes them if only platonically.

Their version of flirting is the little displays of affection they show. And by little I mean little. It's how Arthur tells Charles he needs to rest because of his hand. It's when Charles helps with the wagon in Eastward Bound.

I personally think at Sean's return party, Arthur gets hammered and finds Charles on guard duty. Only he doesn't exactly recognize it's him. Thinks he's just a very handsome stranger. I may have wrote a little fic about it. He technically confesses his feelings to Charles, he just doesn't realize it's him until Charles makes him realize.

And yet AND YET it's not enough to really make them start a romantic relationship because again! They're not the best at communicating their feelings. Arthur was drunk, and Charles doesn't want to push things until Arthur says the same things while sober.

They take things painfully slow at first. Yeah they have the hunting trip together and they'd both be lying if they said they didn't find it hot when the other killed their respective poacher.

When they went to stake out Dewberry Creek, Arthur had finally built up enough courage to tell Charles. For reals this time. That he loves him and wants to be with him. But of course we know how that ended.

Things are tense between them for a while. Arthur only comes along on Uncle's job when Charles gets involved because he wants to talk to him about how they left things. He never gets the chance though, unfortunately.

It's not until they're sent to find Trelawny when they finally get a chance to talk. Dutch sent them together on purpose because he (and everyone else) noticed how close they'd been. It's when Charles saves Arthur's life when the air is cleared between the two of them. They're still not officially an item yet, but at least they're in each other's good graces again.

Then Blessed Are The Peacemakers happens. When Arthur doesn't come back from the meetup, Charles starts to worry. The others tell him he'll be okay, but it doesn't really help to calm his nerves. He just throws himself into his work to try to get his mind off things.

Of course when Arthur finally returns all battered and broken, Charles can hardly stand the sight of him. Ms. Grimshaw and Strauss won't let anyone but Dutch or Hosea near him for a few days while they monitor him. The first chance he gets, Charles visits him with a bowl of stew. It's about as good a moment as any for a deeply emotional heart-felt conversation about their feelings right?

I like to think there was a bit more time between Arthur's recovery and "A Short Walk in a Pretty Town" so that he and Charles can have more cute moments together before. The horrors.

And then the rest of the timeline plays out mostly the same just with the added context that Charthur Real. So here's a bunch of little things about their relationship I think about a lot.

Arthur isn't a big fan of PDA, but Charles will sometimes give him a little peck on the cheek in front of the girls to make him a little flustered.

In private though, Arthur is so clingy. He and Charles may as well be tied together at the hip. He gives Charles the biggest warmest bear hugs, and he's almost always the big spoon when they cuddle. When Arthur is holding Charles, there is no escape.

Which is great for whenever Charles is understimulated and needs the weighted pressure. Sometimes he'll just ask Arthur to lay on him when it's really bad.

When Arthur grows out his hair he gets Charles to braid it sometimes. Y'know when he needs it out of his face.

Arthur loves giving gifts to Charles. Whenever he goes into town he always picks something up from the general store for him. Or if he goes out on a ride he brings back some burdock root or wild carrots for Taima or some yarrow or oleander for Charles himself.

Charles likes making things for Arthur instead of buying things. He'll make him some arrows or some health tonic. Sometimes he'll whittle something for Arthur too.

Arthur LOVES to draw Charles. He gets a whole separate journal just for Charles art.

When they get drunk together the entire camp is graced with their wonderful harmony (they are both so off key it hurts)

Sometimes they'll just go on rides together to nowhere in particular. Just riding for the sake of riding and enjoying each others company. They'll often just ride in silence, only speaking when giving directions or something.

Though sometimes they stay out too long "on accident" and have no choice but to camp out for the night. Oh no whatever shall they do.

My idea for their best ending is after American Venom, they get a ranch somewhere in Canada. Maybe a cattle ranch in Alberta or something. They both got the family bug from watching John and Jack. Arthur is understandably hesitant at first seeing as how his last venture into fatherhood ended, but after a lot of talk they decide that when they're ready, a family might be nice. I headcanon Charles as trans, so their kids would be biologically theirs if they decide to have them.

(Listen, listen, I know getting married with kids is not necessary for a happy ending. However I really love thinking about Arthur and Charles being dads and I think they'd be great at it! Plus Charles literally said he wants to start a family and I think he should be able to get what he wants!!!)

[zukoromantic]

I don't actually think phoenix thought miles edgeworth was dead post aa1

- gumshoe must have been way too suspicious (and not crying enough)

- no funeral, nothing, no details, way too secretive

- he literally says that miles was dead "to him" and that he "never wanted to see him again"

- this just makes a lot more sense for his arc i am begging you, aa2 is NOT about phoenix being a poor little guy who is unrightfully betrayed by his friend, aa2 is about phoenix coming to terms with the reality of things and that not everything is always black and white

He WANTED to it to be black and white. He thought miles left me, he's dead to me. But it's NOT. He's in DENIAL, that's the point, that's the whole point. Miles managed to get by on his own. He managed to be okay. Without phoenix

Phoenix had his major i can save him attitude in aa1 and he NEEDED this reality check. He was kind of obsessed with edgeworth (wether romantically or not is entirely irrelevant) and he Literally said he's the only one who can save him. And while he was actually RIGHT, that wasn't the point. The point was that it's not that simple and while he changed miles' life, miles was able to continue living it on his own and phoenix needed to realize that

Yeah the way miles left fucking sucked, but i think they kinda needed that. Phoenix depends a lot on other people, he literally falls into a depression after maya leaves post aa1. Plus, his miles thing was sort of.... Done? Or at least on halt. This was the Reason he became a lawyer and now there was neither a goal (miles) nor someone to walk the path with (maya). This kind of dependancy is Not good. So miles leaving, while it was extremely harsh, way absolutely necessary

And i think erasing the psyche behind this in favor of a dramatic fake death is... Kinda sad

Phoenix was so MAD at miles, That was the point. He was heartbroken because he was left, because he felt betrayed and not because he lost someone. This is a big difference and you can see this SO CLEARLY in the game

Sure, phoenix has a right to be mad at miles, to an extend. But this wasn't about him having a right to be mad, this was about phoenix feeling entitled to miles' personal life and personal development. If you say he thought he was dead, then you erase the whole aspect of Phoenix letting himself be lead too much by his emotions and not thinking rationally enough. WHICH IS THE WHOLE POINT OF HIS ARC IN AA2.

Sure. Grief is also a theme in this game. And i'm not saying phoenix ISN'T grieving miles. And i know that it also parallels the cases in the way of grieving people being consumed by anger. But it's different with phoenix because he's mad AT edgeworth. So it only makes sense for this to be combined with the theme of phoenix Being Wrong because he's Extremely Emotional

If he ends up just being mad bc he fakes his death, what's wrong about that? Of course he's also entitled to being mad at miles for leaving like this, but like i said - it's not black and white (like it would be in a fake death scenario). Miles had his reasons for what he did, he wanted distance and even though the way he left wasn't nice, the idea was truly his right (not saying that miles is not to blame here. I'm just saying they do the weirdest shit but it just always Works)

It also parallels franziska feeling left behind by miles, but that's a different story

Basically yesh i think it's implied that he didn't really think miles was dead and also it would make so much more sense for their relationship and devlopment as phoenix learning to see things with more nuance is literally an essential part of the second game and his entire character arc

[acaciapines]

I just read all your deltarune fics and. I have to know. do you have playlists for each of the characters. and if you do. could you please share them. i’m so so curious about songs you attribute to each of the characters bc i love your interpretation of them so so much

oh!!! im glad you enjoyed them!!

i do have several playlists but not in any form i could share so. uh. instead i'll just make a list of all my most favorite songs i associate with these kids 'cause if i did every song we would be here for A Long While.

do feel free to send in another ask if you want me to explain one in more depth!!! im one of those people who cannot escape associating songs w/ characters/stories so i have a LOT more i could say if that is wanted lol.

Little Fang - Avey Tare's Slasher Flicks: literally The Most Kris Song Of All Time, like do I even have to explain it. its just Them.

Real Love Song - Nothing But Thieves: this is a newer one on my kris playlist but i think it really fits their relationship with dess--taking the 'love' part in a familial/platonic way, 'can i sing this to you / got a thing about you / and it won't go away' i think this song really captures the sort of...hold dess's opinion always has over kris's sense of self, and the way they feel about her isn't exactly returned equally. in a sense this fits more with my dess-raises-kris au but it does work for kris in my other works too.

San Cristobol - Mal Blum: this is the dess song of all time to the point where it's my voiceclaim for her and is half the reason the band au exists. one big part of my dess is that she leaves voluntarily, even if she might get stuck in a dark world later on--she leaves ON PURPOSE, because she wants to. and this song is like, leaving people behind, 'sometimes i think i left you just to see if i'd be missed,' and sort of wanting to reach out but also maybe not. in a world where dess sings this she is singing it to asriel.

My Tiger, My Heart - The Boy Least Likely To: another dess song of all time, if the last one is dess singing to asriel, this one is her to kris&noelle. this song has been on my dess playlist for so long i've scripted out an animatic to it. specifically i see this as being a song for the space after she sees the bunker but before she leaves--like 'my tiger my heart / we're growing apart' in regards to how she sees kris, and then 'and i think it would be / happier / being free' LIKE. GOD. ITS SO GOOD.

Wash - Floor Cry: noelle about dess...specifically noelle as i write her in the holiday-dreemurr kids series, her pov fic in there was named after this song, but its just about. how you idolize your older sister and then she leaves and comes back and maybe isnt as good as you thought she was and you realize you're going to pick kris over her and so its about 'i never want to / become just like you / it's pretty simple / wish i could tell you why' because noelle struggles with this because she should be happy her sister is back, right? and yet...

Sidelined - The Garages: this is THE RALSEI SONG OF ALL TIME.....like. oh my GOD just listen to it. it's ralsei all the way down, how she struggles with figuring out who she is, with being a darkner, with the prophecy and the weight it puts on her, and how she's supposed to be left behind and forgotten but she doesn't want that and how scary it is to try and be a person when the world never wanted you to be one.

Pluto - Sleeping at Last: ANOTHER RALSEI SONG....this one specifically is in regards to the dess raises kris au lol since i explore ralsei/susie/noelle there but it works for ralsei in all universes. like just listen to it. it's so ralseicore. its similar in theme to sidelined so im not going to repeat myself but just 'i've been worried all my life / a nervous wreak most of the time' to the chorus of 'til one day i had enough / of the exercise of trust / i leaned in and let it hurt / let my body feel the dirt.' LIKE

and these are most of my big ones! i have more around somewhere but most of these i dont even have in a playlist i just sort of remember whenever the song comes on njdfgdfg. sorry theres not so much asriel or susie here i just dont have as good songs for them.

once again if you (general) want me to dive more into one of the songs lemme know!!! i will always talk about these kids!!!

[gabessquishytum]

literally type in your url as ‘hobssqu- oh wait’ like 1/3 of the time bc you are THE big bear hob blog ty for your services

so I had some sort of waking dream that you answered an ask where they’d suggested a hob/(retired?) dream/cori triad where hob and cori are basically taking turns to knock dream up as much as possible and was devastated I’d imagined it! imma correct that:

the first time dream gets pregnant a surprise. the usual where hob never thought it would be possible and dream hadn’t considered the power of hob’s fantasies could manifest so powerfully. or that he’d be so soft for the realization that he’d be glad to carry hob’s children and even feels safer knowing hob wants him so bad and trusts him like this. this of course leads to some insane sex and a not so subtle jealous corinthian who decides he’s going to shoot his shot as soon as possible. hob has catholic peasant brain and is so turned on, he hasn’t left dream alone for a minute and starts imagining that he’ll give dream even MORE this time, that he’s done so well and now this time he’ll be so obviously His that it’ll make the corinthian crazy. it works and this time it’s twins barely a year after the last baby. hob and cori and dream end up have the most satisfying competitive sex and both have the goal of being the one to knock to dream up next, dream is pregnant and nursing so consistently it’s unusual to NOT either be pregnant or with a newborn in his arms (he’s so attached and so secretly embarrassed to be so tied down but loving it SO much). it’s slightly humiliating how old acquaintances treat him like some broken in barefoot housewife but. dream sort of is. (and that won’t be changing anytime soon if hob and cori have their way)

🌝 anon

Aksjdjgj I'm so happy to be of service!!!! Gotta make some more bear Hob content soon for sure.

Anyway YES I love this. Dream getting pregnant through the power catholic peasant horniness is VERY hot. And of course the added bonus of the Corinthian being soooo jealous is amazing.

Cori is literally rabid. Dream carrying another man's baby turns him on and infuriates him in equal measure. He's so determined to be the one who gets him pregnant next time!! Unfortunately he's going up against Hob’s mile wide breeding kink so he has to suffer another nine months of Dream being contentedly pregnant with Hob’s babies. The fact that it's twins is agony because Cori is so horny about how amazing Dream looks... but Hob keeps giving him smug glances and he has to resist the urge to bite. He loves all the babies so much though, and he's right there helping with holding and feeding and everything. Dream keeps giving Cori the softest looks and telling him what a good father he is, and he just melts.

Hob's super sperm are kind enough to give Cori a chance with baby number 4, and he FINALLY gets to knock Dream up, yay! By this point they've all settled into domesticity and Hob and Cori are as much lovers as they are rivals. If Cori isn't careful, he'll be the next victim of the catholic peasant breeding kink... 👀

[rollercoasterwords]

same anon who is fretting left and right abt r and s and everyone else ;_; i love having ur insight and thank u kindly for the long answer…. exactly what i wanted *evil laughter* but i have a follow up!

this might be too far into spoiler territory tho…. another Painful element of this beautiful fic is the lack of love between s and j it’s KILLING MEEEE (as always in the best way) not seeing them as they usually are… will we ever get any s+j friendship crumbs? or is this just not possible within the world you’ve created? i trust ur Vision either way i’m just gnawing at the bars of my prison cell thinking about the possibilities…..

hmmm yeah i feel like i can’t really talk abt like. what’s going 2 happen w them without getting too spoilery (although my usual like…wip policy applies here lol if you absolutely want them 2 be friends stop reading if u absolutely don’t want them 2 be friends stop reading be ready 4 it 2 go either way etc) but! i can talk a bit abt like. how james currently feels where we’re at in the fic & how his feelings have changed

what i've been trying 2 do w j + s in this fic is like. well clearly they hated each other at the beginning bc s sees this arrogant pigheaded order soldier whereas j sees this entitled foolish d.e. & that starting animosity is pretty intense, although it's a bit more personal 4 s--j is like. one of the first order members he's knowingly met + becomes kind of his warden in a way so he pretty specifically hates j whereas for j s is just one of many d.e. he's encountered before so he doesn't really hold a grudge in the same way once they start working together, although he also isn't quick 2 trust s bc unlike his brother s didn't join the order of his own accord (obv. reg didn't exactly join of his own accord, either, but that's pretty much how j sees it).

so when they do actually start working together j is like. well this guy's gotta prove himself if he wants me 2 trust him but once s does start proving himself he's pretty willing 2 put the old animosity aside, and he views s as part of their team--hence him risking his life 2 go back & save s, etc. s, on the other hand, is holding a personal grudge & specifically does not like j so even when j starts acting a bit friendlier towards him he's still like. hmph. bc while j is like "oh holding u prisoner was nothing personal obviously it was just what we had 2 do 4 the order" for s it was very much personal! lol

anyway despite the grudge etc. they do both mutually begin 2 realize that they have certain key similarities--specifically, the fact that they both feel responsible for the people they care about & would do pretty much anything 2 protect them, even if it's something those people wouldn't want them to do. so when we reach this point where they need 2 break into the dept. of mysteries, they both end up reaching the same conclusion abt how they're going 2 have 2 do that, and realizing that they've both reached that same conclusion kind of bolsters that mutual respect they're developing 4 each other. so there's sort of this truce struck while they're planning s's obliviation, where they still aren't friends exactly & probably wouldn't go so far as 2 say they like each other, but they're also like...the only people who can kind of understand what the other one is going thru + sacrificing (as in the convo in the james pov where s says 'they're all gonna hate us,' etc), and in a way it's nice 2 have someone who understands u in a way the others can't...also s going thru w this whole plan has made j respect him a lot more & view them as much more similar in terms of both being practical (and ruthless) enough 2 place larger goals above their own well-being + being willing 2 do things that will make their loved ones hate them as long as it keeps those loved ones safe. so j's feelings towards s have obviously changed quite a bit! of course now s has no idea who j is so. suppose maybe he'll have a chance 2 make a better first impression next time around lol

[timomoe]

Latvia for the character bingo!

I'm so glad you asked for Latvia. I LOVE Latvia.

Canonically speaking, Latvia has nightmares about Russia and the things he's done to him. But my hcs about these nightmares are that you can not go and comfort him when he wakes up from one, or if you realize he's had one. For anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, Latvia will be in fight mode, and anyone he perceives will immediately be labeled as a threat to his hyperactive, terrified brain, and while he looks little and sweet (and he is), when he is in this state of absolute panic and horror, he will start swinging, oftentimes grabbing whatever is closest to him as a weapon, and he will not stop swinging until you're out cold. Once he snaps out of this mode and realizes he is safe, then you can go look after him and make sure he is ok, but not a second sooner.

His favorite flowers are lily of the valley. 1. Because they're lovely, cute flowers, and 2. They're deadly poisonous if consumed, and he likes keeping them around... Just in case.

Latvia is one of a handful of characters I headcanon to be autistic. It is where his inability to control his tongue and read the room stems from. He also struggles to maintain friendships bc of it, as he doesn't really process friendship decay. If you're his friend, you're his friend, regardless if you've spoken to him in the last year. He's not good at reaching out to others to start conversations, either.

I did not color the sketch in, but when I do paint Latvia, I draw him with washed out skin and dark circles under his eyes. In a way, this sort of symbolizes how his youth and childhood have been stolen from him, and that despite being one of the only children in the series, he looks much older than he is. It is due to stress and fear and hunger and overworking his entire life, which is awful and certainly must have affected him. In a more literal sense, tho, it's because he has really bad insomnia and just can not sleep well, no matter what he tries, leading him to look pale, tired, and sometimes even sick.

And like before this gets too sad, Latvia is not a mopey, tragic boy. He is actually rather happy. He wakes up every day and strives to make himself happy however he can. He prioritizes self love, self care, and recreation. He, this child, takes better care of himself than his older "siblings", Estonia and Lithuania, who are notorious overworkers who use work as a means of not being left alone with their thoughts for too long. Latvia does not do this. He goes on walks and sits in fields making flower crowns, he sings out in public while walking down the sidewalk, he is a published author, he writes silly little fantictions, he reads heaps of romance books, anything he thinks will make him happy - whenever he wants to. He does not let the opinions of others keep him from doing this, either. In his mind, he has struggled enough. He deserves his happiness. There is no reason why he should deprive himself of it. This isn't to say that he does not struggle with mental health. He does. But generally speaking, he manages it pretty well (probably bc he's the only country that's not too proud to go to fucking THERAPY/hj)

[florallylly]

I agree with you on Nancy. She could have been a great character if canon wouldn't brush off her faults. Despite R/nance, I feel like all Nancy's relationships lack because she's such a stagnant character. To me, she's still the same person she was in s2 but with more experience in shooting guns.

I think it was such a huge mistake that the show only blamed Steve for St/ncy, letting Nancy off the hook, so she never reflected on her actions. Because if she would have had, we wouldn't have her emotionally cheat on Jonathan in s4 like she did with Steve in s2. Even if you think St/ncy was broken up when Nancy slept with Jonathan, she still was leading Steve on emotionally. She literally confirmed it that she chose Steve in s1 because Jonathan wasn't available and she couldn't be alone. Anyway, with her not really reflecting on her behavior and the people around her kissing the ground, she walks on despite being shitty towards them, she became such an unlikable character. Because as a viewer you see the way she acts but there are no consequences to her actions so you kinda feel gaslit by the show.

If they want to make St/ncy canon in s5, they better make Nancy work for it because Steve changed. Rn it would feel undeserving to just go back to him without serious reflection because he is available. (Sidenote I don't think Nancy takes the credit for Steve changing, rather Steve gives her the credit which again I wish we wouldn't have sat through St/ncy in s4 because he could do better than that. It made him look so pathetic thanking his ex who cheated on him. I also think if Steve would know about the cheating, I think he wouldn't be so pro Nancy. It's actually kinda sick that they made him so sensitive towards cheating because of his dad, put him through pseudo cheating in s1, and then have his gf actually cheat on him and he isn't allowed to react to it accordingly (in s2, s1 was just a bit too much))

R/nance doesn't work either because Robin wouldn't wanna be involved with her best friends ex and their personalities would clash. The whole library scene is proof of that. Instead of Nancy reassuring that it's not Robin's fault she's moody (after Robin literally telling her that she has trouble understanding social cues) she still left her in a state of panic and never apologized for it. They would have the most toxic fights ever.

thank you!!!!!!! i'm so glad you get what i'm putting down. i totally agree that the show tries to emphasize how people constantly keep supporting nancy, who COULD be a good leader and is charismatic enough to get people to listen. she's never been faced with the realization that sometimes she is, in fact, wrong.

and YES! she is sooo stagnant and any kind of character development on her part would have never allowed for the resurgence of st/ncy in s4. and it's so obvious that she's making the same mistakes that she did in s1 and s2.

personally, i don't approve of any kind of endgame st/ncy because i feel like steve has grown so much. and he DEFINITELY deserved some sort of reference back to him having experienced the effecrs of cheating from his dad, and how that made him reflect back on his relationship with nancy.

about nancy not taking credit for steve's change: i think that it's more of a subtle thing that i was interpreting as such. it may also be because i've been so frustrated with nancy that it made me look at her with a biased view when it came to that.

AND I AGREE. nancy literally hates robin and i don't understand a robin who would ever even consider being with her best friend's ex. plus, if we actually look into the characters and not who they were perceived to be/hung out with in high school, you can see how similar steve and robin are. and st/ncy not working out just shows how r/nance would not work out. bc robin is Steve and steve is Robin.

nancy sooo has the ability to grow and Mother, but canon restricts her and refuses to acknowledge that she's flawed. i blame the duffer brothers, but also the fandom slightly. it's very common to put characters on pedestals and act like they're always in the right. but it's possible to love and relate to a character, and still realize what they've done is wrong.

but thank you so much for your thoughts!!! i loved how well thought out and in depth it was <3

[amethystfox4]

Heres my tier list!

Explanations below the cut and thanks to @starrjoy for the blank list!

Note: every ship (excluding Knuxuge bc that is the only ship I have zero thoughts about other than "its canon") will have caveats to it.

Most of them being I do not have enough knowledge of the actual source(s) to have an opinion

My other one being I really don't care about the supposed canonisity of a ship so if you're wondering why theres only one ship in OTP its bc most of the others have some sort of hc attached to it (ex : All of Sonic's parings)

I love them!:

Hey look its the individual ships that make up SonAmyShad! In all honesty, I really like these three ships individually too, but I will gravitate towards the Sonic pairings more than Shadamy on an individual basis.

And I'm going to say it here Sonic as a character has two modes for me in a shipping sense- Hes either a disaster biromantic demiace or straight up aroace (no inbeween)

I like Sonamy in sense that yeah I can see yeah it can be cute but only if Amy isn't portrayed as an obsessed stalker. I know shes infatuated with Sonic and the idea of being with him, as shown in multiple games (I don't think its been a thing in recent years but I still feel the need to mention it), but I like to believe as Amy matures she realizes that putting Sonic on such a pedestal wasn't a good thing to do for either of them. I also like to think that as Amy mellows out her friendship with Sonic becomes a lot more solid.

Also if I was on a computer I would definitely put Sonadow between I love them! and I ship them for comedic value, bc you know those two idiots would not handle having romantic feelings in any normal way

Shadamy is interesting to me- I really like it I think its cute (Gives me Grease vibes now that I think of it) but I cannot see it being a thing in actual Sonic canon (honestly this is with most ship excluding a few). I see it in a "canon but to the left" kind of way.

So the next ship is Bunny x Antoine (I think). So my only and I mean only exposure to this ship (and these two characters) is from the fan comic TMOM (The Murder of Me) by Gigi and if their characterizations in there are anything like they are in Archie than yes!

Please do not comment asking for me to read the Archie Comics, I do not want to touch that monstrosity with a 10ft pole. (It scares me./j)

I purely ship them for comedic value!:

Infitgadet, I think is how that ship is spelt, is a funny crack ship that I just laugh at. Its stupid, its dumb, but I see the appeal.

Sonjet, a petty minor rivalry that becomes a bromance.

Sonic x Elise umm in canon: No. But outside of that...Ha ha, One!

Kinda cute sometimes:

Alot of these fall under "canon but to the left"

Shadilver and Sonilver, could work either way but in a similar but slightly different way to ShadSonAmy, I prefer it to be Sonadoilver over the individual ones

Blazemy, not much to say other than I like it.

Silvaze, I can see it better than the other three but not much else.

Tangle x Whisper, now I have not read IDW and I want to, so I don't much about these two other then sure, I'm cool with it.

Not for me but I can see the appeal:

Shadouge, I see Rouge as more as the older sister/wine aunt to Shadow more than anything else

Sonally, never watched Satam or read Archie but I do know of Sally through pop culture osmosis. If we're talking about how 90s American (cartoon) Sonic was than sure I see it. But for current Sonic (even Adventure Sonic) not really but I do see them as friends if she could exist again.

Espilver, dont know why I just like them a little

Sonknux, just a really good bromance, with Sonic being a little shit and sometimes flirting with Knuckles.

Not on the list but Sonouge is similar where I dont see them in a relationship they just like to throw flirty banter at eachother and it just confuses anyone who knows how Sonic normally reacts to being flirted with (even funnier if Sonic is aroace)

Sonaze, um its there, to me they'd just be friends with just a heavy meaning behind holding hands

I have never watched Sonic X but I can see the appeal of Tails being in a relationship but I really strongly see him as being aroace flat out, with strong platonic love for his brother and friends.

Not for me and I CANT see the appeal:

Shadknux, I see we are shipping the lancers together (Shadow and Knuckles are both lancers to Sonic in the five man band trope while Knuckles is the big guy/lancer Shadow is just Sonic's lancer imo). This confuses me I don't hate it I just don't get it.

Vanilla x Vector, huh? I'm not saying its bad just...

Silvamy, um what? I don't see them having romantic feelings for eachother like at all.

Wait this exist?!:

Metadow, Waveouge, and Blaze x Omega (?)...[Confused Laughter] What? Are these crack ships bc I can't wrap my head around them.

Surgeamy, now I have heard of this but why?

Sally x ???? (explains itself)

Shadaze, I see that picture is from Archie right? Uh...

Ian Jr. x Infinite, now thats a crack ship if I ever saw one!

Rouge x Topaz, uh I can't say I didn't know this existed just that I had no where else to put it since I have no idea what Topaz's character is like.

[browniefox]

The Final Crisis Core Playthrough Post!

Might end up making a video or something that kind of puts all my thoughts on the game together, but I'll leave it as this for now.

I feel like I'm always harping on the same things, but this game is always trying to get me to care about characters that it hasn't set up well before hand. I think there's something interesting about Cissnei, but there's not enough interactions with her for me to really care about her, and them trying to be like 'hey, don't you care what her read name is???' just makes me dislike her more tbh. I appreciate she's looking out for Zack, but there's just not a lot there for me. Who knows, maybe she'll end up being super cool in Rebirth.

It's also funny to me that she's like 'wow Zack, coming to Gongaga? Of course they're looking for you here' but Zack makes it sound like he kind of came here by accident.

Hollander and his dumb ass little wing. Also, in this light, Genesis is doing pretty well for himself, all things considered.

Genesis' goal is just... It's all over the place. I was sort of beginning to understand him, but this last section of the game I just stop being able to get a read on him. What I hate most is the lack of feeling like anything has changed for him. It's been four years, and sure Zack's life was at a standstill, but the rest of the world shouldn't have been. I'm glad the game let me finally kill Hollander, though, I've been wanting to do that for hours.

And I guess right now they've decided they need Cloud's S Cells? Why do they think S Cells will work? Are they just grasping at straws? I think they are.

How has nobody talked about Lazard???? I thought what happened to him was a mystery bc I've never heard anyone mention that apparently he became an Angeal copy to survive or whatever the purpose was again. It's so weird to see him with Angeal's face.

I think there's something interesting, though, with us finally getting to learn a little bit more about the connection between the copy and the original, with Lazard mentioning he's been feeling some Angeal emotions or whatever. We never get to hear what his deal was though. I know it's implied he's a Shinra bastard, but I guess I think it would have hit better as text rather than subtext.

I do think it's cool that the shelling of Banora was one of the first things to happen in the game, and now we're back here and we get to see the fallout. At least it looks pretty. I think there's only one Banora White tree left, from the looks of it? I'd love to be able to come here in Rebirth, though I have a feeling we won't.

Are you trying to tell me that Genesis was the first person to think of making apple juice??? Yeah, sorry, don't believe it. This party just feels... weird. Like, I think it's supposed to hint to something? Like, something about the juice? I was just too caught by surprise by Genesis the Apple Juice Inventor.

I realize he didn't invent apple juice but just, uh, was the first to decide to juice Banora Whites? Was there something stopping them from doing so before?

The dungeon in this section also does not have to be this long. Bull shit dungeon.

Okay, so now there's a weird statue that was under Banora. Okay. I believe it's said or implied that whatever this thing is is what gave Banora White's their special taste or whatever or special properties, I wish it was gone into before. Is that why the trees were fruiting at weird times of the year? At least Genesis seems to believe this is what he was looking for.

It's sort of interesting that Genesis looks and Zack and goes 'Ah, you have both Angeal and Sephiroth in you, and thus we are all reunited', but like, that makes it seem like Zack will then get some part of Genesis to me, but that never happens.

The armor looks cool, but it made me expect a much cooler fight than I ended up having. The fighting in this ends up being just spamming spells, which isn't all that fun tbh. I like that Genesis' face was kind of cracking as he was getting the power of the Goddess, but then he's totally rejuvenated after this which is soooo lame.

Why and how does he claim this power anyway? It's one of the more minor questions, tbh. This is going to sound weird, bc god I could not get thi guy to stop talking about loveless, but I wish there was more Loveless? Like, that we could get a better understanding of the epic to better see how it fits the story of Genesis, Angeal, and Seph.

I do kind of like that Genesis at this point is still fighting. Like, he doesn't seem to understand when to throw in the towel - it's why he's been trying to find a cure this whole time. I kind of see it as what was probably once one of his best qualities, but now has become one of his worst.

I think this is supposed to be, like, the Goddess from Loveless, right? But, is that the same as the Planet? Is she some Ancient from long ago? Something else? These aren't questions that I necessarily need answered, but if would be nice to know if, you know answers to them did exist. I do think this whole scene is very pretty at least, and you get the idea that Genesis might even be coming to some sort of revelation about like, his life and what all of this is, and I for sure thought he died here.

I also think it's sad that Zack keeps getting into this situations where people are essentially using him as a form of suicide. How mean, he's just a nice little guy! Stop being mean to him :(

Wow, reunion of the Firsts. You have Lazard as Angeal, Genesis as himself, and Cloud as Sephiroth, how touching. I just, ugh, I was so done with this story by the time I got here. Like it’s a nice picture, and you get the idea they’re going for something, but it falls flat to me. Also,  Lazard says that they were attacked, and I realize it would have been more work, but I wish they would have done something to the area to look like there had just been some sort of fight here. I could easily believe otherwise that Lazard just fell down and died bc he looks that shitty. No offense. Also damn, the dog dies too :( 

And also we all get to eat an apple? Do the apples have something special going on with them or not? I got the impression they do from what I’ve heard other people say, and maybe I’m just not picking up on it bc I’m going through the story too quickly or something, but the pieces are just not coming together for me. I’m planning to watch both the CC and CCR cutscenes after this to get some other opinions and also to try and get a better grasp on all of this, so hopefully that will help…? 

Oh my God, I do kind of like the detail that Zack had no idea it’s been four years. I mean, why would he know how long it’s been. That being said, however, why hasn’t anyone else mentioned how long it’s been? Maybe they don’t realize he wasn’t able to account for that time or something, but still. It does break my heart that Aerith has been writing letters this whole time, but just now she’s finally giving up. 

Bye bye Genesis, see you in Dirge or whatever. For some reason I thought it ended with him, like, encased in crystal? I realize that that Zack really only has room for one comatose friend, but you couldn't have put Genesis somewhere a little better? Then again, he is a little bitch, and where else would he want to be than as close to home as possible? Not that he stayed there very long, of course.

Again, we see that the Turks care at least somewhat for Zack, and not just Cissnei. Either it’s because Tseng likes Zack or because he cares about Aerith, and tbh I’d take either answer. I think it’s nice that he’s been holding on to the letters she’s tried to send to Zack, that Tseng hasn’t thrown them away but clearly has always planned to give them to Zack, should he ever turn up. I do like Tseng a little more after this game, at least. 

I know that this game expects you to have played FFVII before hand, but I wish some of the repeat cutscenes were done more justice, like this one in the back of the truck. For a game that deals with the time between Nibelheim and Midgar, I kinda was hoping for more of these moments between Zack and Cloud. 

Ugh, this moment is good though, Cloud reaching out for Zack, probably the most he’s moved in years, but Zack has his back turned and is walking away. We all know what’s coming. 

I didn’t take a lot of screenshots during the fight. I wish it had let you fight them until you couldn’t fight any longer instead of ending it earlier. The way the DMW breaks down over the course of the battle is heartbreaking! I think it’s cool to interpret it as, like, Zack losing faith in those people, his loss in hope of what they thought, they believed, or maybe losing the values that they thought were important or something. And the way that Aerith’s DMW held on so long. When I tell you I screamed the first time he’s came up, and I almost cried when the it finally disappeared. And that grueling end fight! Where it’s you against three simple infantrymen, but Zack at this point is so tired and exhausted he can barely lift the buster sword. Oh my god, at least they did this part super well. 

Okay, my switch wouldn’t let me take screenshots of the ending cutscene, boo, but here’s my thoughts on that. 

God that last scene is so brutal.

Zack bleeding out and dying, and it not shying away from showing the blood and how painful and sad this is. And Cloud, managing to crawl over. I already knew this scene, but it still hit super strongly. Like, how relieved must Zack hae been to hear Cloud talk for the first time in ages? To say his name? Confirmation that Cloud was still in there and still cared about him? And all he can offer him now is a purpose and a weapon to carry on. And the way Cloud SCREAMS at the end! And Aerith looking upward, and you know that she can feel that Zack is dead. I have just have one problem, and that’s that it becomes a music video??? Like, why the hell would you do that? 

I also like the detail that the post-credit scene is the opening to FFVII. Very nice touch in my opinion. 

In summary, I like a lot of the ideas and themes that Crisis Core says it's going to deal with, and most of the ways that it expands the FFVII universe, but i wish it was better and more thoughtfully written. Everything feels so rushed, and like it's going a million miles an hour, and I don't get the chance to get attached to people as much as I wanted to.

[slippery-minghus]

was thinking more about my feelings/thoughts about my mom's incompetence on the way to work. (and first of all, i'm pleasantly surprised at how fast it took me to sort all these feelings into clarity. two weeks vs the several months it took a few years ago is a huge improvement)

but i put clarity to the realization that it's like she's talking out of both sides of her mouth when it comes to *my* competence. from the corner of one, she's saying how proud she is of me for holding my own as an adult, for "being so domestic" - in that i'm keeping my home clean, my laundry done, myself fed (by cooking, no less!). she says she's proud.

but out of the rest of the other side of her mouth she's telling me that the way i do things is wrong. that because i don't do things the way she does, i couldn't possibly be competent. she just about followed me around turning off lights i had left on - in rooms i was going back to or wanted the ambient light from. there was no trust that i would turn off the light when i was done (and she complains so much about how she "has to" do this for her husband... and now i'm wondering if she even gives him the chance)

any time i gave her instructions on how to do something for me that *she asked to help with* she would make snide comments or give looks about how picky i was about how to do it. she cooked for me (didn't use salt) and froze the leftovers, but didn't fill the containers all the way. she used awkward sized ones that hold too much for one meal but not enough for two. i didn't leave her with instructions on how to package the food, because why would i have had to micromanage that? it would be intuitive, right? (as would be... say, putting leftover cooked rice in a sealed container, so it doesn't dry out and get gross? ....intuitive, right....?) (and nevermind the container she cooked it in oh god my poor dishes)

i was too exhausted when i got back from my trip and couldn't parse the feelings so i held my tongue, and settled on voicing my visible frustration as "we do things differently in the kitchen" leaving unsaid the part that the reason why i do things so differently is to compensate for her, to distance myself from the inefficiency and lack of attention to detail.

i'm realizing why it's always felt so hollow when she praises me - because it's always been so thoroughly backed by the subtlety of her telling me she's not proud, that i'm incompetent.

but all of her bullshit about calling the people around her incompetent is just so obviously a projection against how she feels about herself?? she's always making comments like "see, mom does know a thing or two" whenever she has some minor tidbit of information or method to impart. they're always small, insignificant things (and often shit i just nod along to bc again. i do things differently.)

and me trying to correct her or show her how to do something the way i prefer when she is doing something for me that she specifically volunteered to do, because she wanted to be helpful, is always met with such disdain. like me gently asking "can you do it this way" is slapping her in the face and calling her an incompetent loser. like i'm so overwhelmingly and maliciously picky and rude for having a particular way of doing things.

as if she doesn't. as if she isn't also neurodivergent as hell and full of specific ways of doing things and Rules about how they're supposed to be done. only she acts like her way of doing things, because she's so insecure, has to be the Word of God - or else, i guess, she's been doing everything ever wrong her whole life and her existence cannot be justified. (she built her whole identity around being a Mother, and if she can't be useful and Mother me, then she has no justification to exist).

so when i politely offer her tasks when she asks to do things to help me (which if i don't let her help she will take it personally and like i'm again slapping her in the face for incompetence), i have to submit to her doing them her way, which for me might as well not be done at all. (and nevermind the things that Her Way just isn't a localized or good fit for. like hanging laundry- she lives somewhere warm and dry. it's cool and humid here. hanging things Her Way at home will dry just fine, but to do the same with my laundry at my house will take so long things get mildewy) (so me asking Do It This Way is often just me knowing what works in the present circumstances. and these are often things i've already figured out through trial and error. My Way is not baselessly existing to Contradict Her Way. it's what works for me in my environment.)

i know i could be less rigid. and i know i am this rigid because of my neurodivergence and my trauma of compensating for my mother my whole life (coughcough walking myself to school even though it Wasn't Allowed bc otherwise i would be late to class). i know i'm not perfect and tbh with anyone else i would be more forgiving. i wouldn't even need to be forgiving. just grateful. i can appreciate effort from someone whose interaction isn't so steeped in trauma and reprimanding-me-for-existing. if my friend cooked for me and jarred leftovers like my mom did, that it wasn't-how-i-would-do-it wouldn't entirely override the kindness of the gesture.

(and i feel like i must be in the wrong if i can offer that grace about other people. like i'm taking up more space than is due. but i can't go back to denying how loaded every interaction with my mother is. i can't go back to being so dissociated i feel nothing and just roll over like a doormat when she wants to make a situation where she's offering me help into one where she's belittling me.) (stars. no wonder i never ask for help.)

and like. if anyone should get that there's a specific way to do things or else my brain hurts, it's my mom. if anyone should understand me on that level, on that level of depth, it's her. (oh no. time for tears. my shrink would be proud of me for considering this piece but this is the part that HURTS) but no she has to take that opportunity for connection and shit on it bc she can't release control enough to take one of the two hands she's gripping onto Her-Way-Of-Doing-Things and reach out to me. she has to have Her Way in a chokehold otherwise she feels like she'll disappear. so when i'm reaching out, taking one hand off of My Way to try to connect with her, she takes it as me trying to rip Her Way out of her hands and make her disappear.

so of course she keeps both hands tightly on Her Way and then turns to bludgeon me with it.

i'm asking her to stop existing, so why wouldn't she?

[igarbagecannoteven]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thanks so much @clumsyclifford , @allsassnoclass , & @jbhmalumm for tagging me in this! i'm gonna talk about my fics in all fandoms even tho this is my music blog bc i don't have anything separated into pseuds (i strive for chaos on my ao3 account) putting it under the cut bc i'm sure it's gonna be long lol

number of stories posted on ao3: 25! 18 in 5sos, 4 in hp, and 3 miscellaneous fandoms

word count posted for this year: 40,705

fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, hp, discworld, doctor who, & dungeons and daddies

pairings: lashton (4), cashton (3), muke (2.5) (bc they're background in one), malum (2), cake (2), mashton (1), penelope/percy (1)

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: burnt eggs & broken promises has the most kudos, do you wanna touch (yeah) and permanent jet lag are tied for most bookmarks, and fear the fever has the most comments

work i’m most proud of and why: i'm proud of almost all of the work i put out this year, and there are a couple ones that immediately spring to mind, but i'm going to really come out of left field here and say Being Hannah Abbott! "but megs," you might say, "why on earth would you pick the only fic that has zero kudos? it's definitely not your best written work of the year." to which i say, true! however, i have been trying to get this fic right since 10th grade! i'm now a senior in college! "but megs it's significantly less than 1k how did it take you that long" listen! listen. sometimes. you have to wait until you're good enough to finish a fic. this has more than 5 docs of different drafts saved to my laptop. also you're forgetting the fact that i'm insane

work i’m least proud of and why: okay listen. i know it's my most kudos'd work. i know that. however i am not happy with burnt eggs and broken promises. bella left me a lovely long comment on it recently that made me rethink my feelings towards it but i still think it isn't as good as it could have been so sorry folks

share or describe a favorite review you’ve received: i love it when people tell me i made them cry it's my favorite thing in the whole world best compliment to receive imo

a time when writing was really, really hard: you're assuming i remember what i was experiencing earlier in 2022 which is where you've made your mistake slkdjflskdjf ummmm i remember have a really hard time this fall semester, especially in september/october, i just couldn't get any motivation whatsoever (which tends to be my biggest problem tbh)

a scene or character you wrote who surprised you: goood question,,, you know, i really wasn't expecting to ever write a mcu au and yet pining is a strange sort of mcu au. i originally was going to write it so one half of the pairing got lost at sea and their bf was waiting on shore not sure if they were dead or alive, but the characters did not want to be like that at all which is how i ended up with poor post-snap calum (who may be getting a happy sequel someday shhh)

a favorite excerpt of your writing: i love the transformation scene in fear the fever. i just love writing body horror for some reason and i've always had strong opinions about what i think vampires & their transformations are like physically and it was a blast to get to explore that in this fic :))

how did you grow as a writer this year? i think a lot of my growth happens slowly over time and therefore is hard to pinpoint, but i took a creative writing class in the spring on opening a novel and that helped me rethink the way i start fics now. also i learned to think more about what i want out of my fic! thinking about why i write and why i post fic really helped me realize what fic writing advice to take and what to ignore (if you're like me and the goal of a fic is to write the concept the best you can, than posts talking about how it's okay to post random, unedited snippets are not actually helpful and can actually be counter-intuitive)

how do you hope to grow next year? i really want to write more often and be more disciplined about writing. as always i want to learn how to be better in the craft aspect in general (which is a goal i expect to always have, since i'll never be perfect at it) and i'd also like to be better with subtext & symbolism & ~themes~ bc i always forget to those last two and my subtext is, in my opinion, rather lacking at the moment

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? bella is the best live-in cheerleader/rubber duck a writer could ask for, and i would be royally screwed without her 💙 hazel is always an incredible virtual cheerleader/ideas bouncer and i am dearly in her debt, and meghna is wonderful for fueling my wacky ideas-mobile; i am incredibly lucky that they're just a discord dm away 🥰 also she's 100% not going to see this but my mom finished her mfa program this year and has been working on finishing her novel, and writing with her and talking shop together has been very helpful in keeping me at the keyboard and with more thematically technical details (little does she know it's for my rfp fanfic lol)

anything from real life show up in your writing this year? yep! lots! keep you safe (safe as i can), an hp fic, reflects some of my worries about my little bro growing up; Questions Involving Vampires & Skirts, while not reflective of my own gender, does reflect some of my weird gender-y fuckery; just dance (gonna be okay)'s michael shares my feelings regarding dancing in empty elevators; do you wanna touch (yeah) is inspired by me visiting a craft store with my fam and touching basically everything in the store; permanent jet lag is based off of flying international with my baby bro who is Very Tall; & glasses is based off of my truly awful eyesight and how i still feel like if i have my glasses off people can't perceive me lol (yes you heard it here first folks, megs has the object permanence of a toddler)

any new wisdom you can share with other writers? write! have fun with it! go to irl critique groups if possible! don't expect things to be perfect on the first draft, because most people's first drafts are shit and that's okay! challenge yourself! don't be afraid to embrace the cringe! it's okay to settle unless it's gonna make you miserable! eat your writing frogs! don't be afraid to ask for help! get a rubber duck!

any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i really want to finish tis the damn fic. i'd love for it to be ready to post by december. i'm kneeling at my prefrontal cortex begging it to get its shit together enough to finish it. i'd also love to finally finish my another place songfic bc that will mean my writing's reached the level where i can actually figure out how to write the dang thing which is the dream

tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: idk who all's done it/been tagged so if you've already done it just ignore me! and if you don't want to do it you can also ignore me lol but i'll tag @werewolfashton , @reveriesofawriter , @userbadomens , @calumthoodshands , @pixiegrl , @valiantnerdtm , & anyone else who wants to! (if you've been mainly writing for another fandom you can talk about that one as well/instead, all up to you!)

[lemonlovemeanslove]

Something that I've always found to be interesting about homophobia is that people who grew up more liberal seem to kind of misunderstand it. And they seem to misunderstand how conservatives view it, which I think can be quite harmful actually. Many liberals and leftist will point out how conservatives will on go on and on about the sex lives of homosexuals, and how much time and energy is spend talking about gay sex. And I notice that a lot of liberals will then go oh, that's because these conservatives are closet cases, they are gay, that's why they place so much emphasis on the sex part. And like, that could be true for some, but I don't think that that is really IT. And I think this misconception stems from the fact that liberals aren't taught how to homophobia the way that conservative are. When you grow up in these families, it is vital that you divorce gayness from love. Being gay isn't about love, or loving someone. It's about having gross sex, unnatural sex. Because it's so much harder to teach hate by telling people that you are against love. Gay people don't LOVE other gay people, they have gross sex with other gay people. Being gay is having gay sex. Which is gross. And the reason that this works so well is because conservatives already have such a tense relationship with sex, even the ’’normal’’ straight kind. It is so often seen as dirty, or simply just a biological function/necessity, not as an act of love or intimacy. When I was a kid, it was important for me to understand that gays were these permiscues, perverted people who wanted to have weird unnatural sex, and thats all they were. This is also how beastiality enters the conversation, which sounds really crazy when you don't grow up in this sort of environment. And like yes, likening gay sex to beastiality is of course crazy, but if you are taught that being gay is the same as having perverted sex, it isnt that far out for these people. My parents never looked at me and said, we don't want these two kind ladies to love each other. Don't look at that old gay couple making each other smile and laugh, look at them and think of sodomy. And hellfire. And then of course, I eventually realize that im gay, and kid me wants to shrivel up and die, because she think that this makes her a pervert. And I'm a kid right, so I'm not actually interested in sex, but still, I feel that I'm a pervert, a predator. That im sexualy deviant. And even if that's left me in the sense that I don't really think that being gay is perverted, I still FEEL that I'm being a problem, or being creepy if I like some girl. And it's not as bad as it used to be. Like at 15 I felt fluttery seeing a girl I liked smile and then immediately be hit with this sickness, as if I had just violated her, assaulted her. But yeah. Kinda wish that those who were lucky enough not to be raised like me and so many others would know more about how homophobia is taught. I mean like this is also why they don't want kids to know about gay people, bc how can you talk about gay people without going into intimate detail about how they have sex lol.