#and if you would why do you still cling to this failed friendship and this person who cries for your help

[yxami]

Happy nut or not November day 10

desc: desperate yandere x gn reader, slight hints of masochism/degradation, mentions of stalking, obsession, perverted habits, hint of nsfw if you squint

Desperate yandere that doubles his homemade lunches so the two of you could eat together in case you forget your lunch.

He’s the same guy that ties your shoelaces when you ask with a whiny tone, expecting him to say no at first until he pulls your foot on top of his thigh no matter how expensive his pants are.

He loves to spoil you with little affections but he’d never dare to make anything obvious. No way. He’ll only drop small hints and things that might have you growing a suspicion that he has deeper feelings than a normal friend should.

He’s too shy to admit anything directly, he’s just waiting for you to finally get the lit light bulb in your head about everything.

Desperate yandere that sprays his signature body spray on you that costs an unnecessary amount of money just so people get that you’re always around him even if he’s not already glued at your side to prove it.

Since there are times where he can’t stay right beside you he’ll resort to other tactics as well, either it’s convincing one of his stupid admirers to watch you or downloading a tracking app on your phone without you noticing, he’ll always make sure to keep tabs on you.

The day he gets caught is the day he dies of pure embarrassment.

And unfortunately for him today was the day.

“What is this?” You trap your beloved friend in the gymnasium corner behind the bleachers, the place were couples often went to go make out, but this situation was far from something like that. You were sure that your friend was hiding a certain secret but you weren’t sure what it was.

“Ha.. Um, your phone?” His throat croaks under the pressure as he presses his back into the corner, it should be illegal to be making him feel this hot and bothered, he’s trying to suppress the boiling feeling in his stomach.

“Don’t play games right now, what is this?” You click on a hidden app that was purposefully taken off your home screen, it seemed to be a tracker that people use to watch over their friends and families but you don’t recall getting this and the only other person was unnamed and directly above your profile on the map tracking you.

You clicked on a button that called the profile in the app and his phone started ringing, what a shocker.

“I—I don’t even know why it’s ringing..!” He dryly laughs, fumbling to grab his phone to end the call before you snatch it out his hands, he instinctively reached for it but you shoot a look at him that makes him let out a throaty whine with pink pouty lips.

“Why would you download this on my phone?” You sigh, holding his phone hostage by having it right on top of your phone as you look through his, trying to figure out what else he might have. You’re honestly surprised he hasn’t grabbed it out of fear that you’d find worse things.

“I just… um I don’t know!” His exhale stutters as it sounds like he’s ready to sob, glassy eyes evident as he looks up at you. He pushes his bottom lip even more as he reaches his hand out to cling onto you like he always did before pulling back incase you’d get mad.

“M’sorry..” He murmurs, never failing to stop looking at you, as if to prove his obedience even more than he already did during your friendship.

“Geez, what am I gonna do with you..” You fold your arms, phones still in hand as you lean against the other wall connecting to the corner. He still sits quietly against the other one, as if waiting for your command.

“Forgive me?” He frowns, daring to suggest something even if it rhetorical. He has a feeling from your words that you’re not actually pissed so he gets up and hugs you, pressing himself into you as he drops his head on your shoulder, inhaling your comfortable scent.

“Dunno’ I’ll have to think about your punishment” You feel for his back pocket to shove his phone into and he pressed himself more into you as if to give you more range to touch him, shamelessly enjoying your hands on him. He probably would’ve enjoyed you kicking his ass too.

“Okay, can it be at your house?” He says with too much of an eager tone than you needed right now. If he had a tail it would’ve been wagging at the idea too.

“Don’t think that this is a reward” You yank near the bottom of his hair when you feel him getting too cocky and running his hands down the small of your back. He lets out a filthy moan with blush pouring across his face as he looks slightly up, showing his adams apple.

“Sorry, I’ll behave..!” He submissively says, hoping you’d just attack his neck with kisses and bites to mark him but even he knows that’s out of the question right now.

Maybe you’d do it when he came over..?

[steddiealltheway]

(I have just hit a very nice (silly) milestone of 6969 followers, so I wrote this little ficlet to celebrate and thank you all for always being so supportive 💛 I hope you enjoy)

Everyone is shocked when Steve and Eddie announce they’re moving in together.

But, to Steve, it’s really a no-brainer. Robin is going away to college, the kids are starting to get their licenses and no longer need a babysitter, and Eddie desperately wants to get out of Hawkins.

So, Steve bought a map, measured the distance between Hawkins and Robin’s college, and marked a spot right in the middle.

Okay, so maybe it ended up being in the middle of a river, but there was a town near there that was perfectly not too far from Hawkins while being far away enough for Eddie to feel safe. As well as being far enough from Robin to give her space at her new school while being close enough that she could easily spend the night at their place whenever she wanted.

But distance wasn’t a problem for anyone, they were mainly concerned about how Steve and Eddie would live with each other and not kill each other.

But after a few weeks, Steve can confidently say that living with Eddie is… nice actually.

Really really nice.

Of course, he had been a little concerned about all their differences and adjusting to having someone always around, but Steve enjoys the company.

Actually, he specifically enjoys Eddie’s company.

Sure, he can be loud and a bit messy, but Steve loves that their small apartment actually feels like a home.

Whenever Robin stops by, she comments about how domestic they’re getting. Especially whenever Eddie randomly appears with a cup of water not even seconds after Steve mentions he was getting thirsty.

But what Steve fails to mention to Robin are all the little other things Eddie does, like when it’s late at night and Eddie brushes the hair off of Steve’s forehead and says, “It’s a little late for me to see those beautiful eyes still open."

Sometimes when they're watching a movie, Steve will fall asleep and wake up to Eddie carrying him to bed as if it's an easy thing to do.

And yeah, maybe Steve finds it overwhelmingly hot, and maybe he clings a little tighter whenever Eddie tries to put him down so they're stuck in a tight embrace that Steve can wave off as a result of being half asleep.

But sometimes Eddie's eyes linger on Steve a little longer than they should or Eddie will throw his arm over the back of the couch and let his fingertips lightly trace over Steve's shoulder or run through his hair gently as if he doesn't even notice himself doing it. And it makes Steve think that maybe, just maybe, Eddie might have feelings for him too.

But just when things are going great, and Steve is thinking about testing the boundaries of their friendship to push more into romantic territory, Eddie starts fucking with him.

The problem is, it's not anything big or obvious that Steve can just laugh off. Instead, Eddie starts messing with the thermostat. The thermostat Steve likes to keep strictly at 71.

But Eddie has decided to set it to 69.

At first, Steve just adjusts it, wondering why Eddie is bumping it down when he's always cold and wraps himself in a blanket, complaining that 71 is too cold.

After two days of back and forth, Steve wonders if the thing is just broken because he hasn't actually seen Eddie mess with it. So, he wanders to Eddie's room and knocks on the door lightly before opening it.

Eddie lays back on his bed with a smirk on his face that instantly alerts Steve that Eddie has in fact been messing with him.

He crosses his arms and leans against the doorway. "Have you been messing with the thermostat?"

Eddie shrugs and comments, "Maybe."

Steve frowns, not sure what the hell kind of game Eddie's playing at. "Well, can you maybe leave it at seventy-one?"

"And if I don't?" Eddie challenges, cocking his head to the side, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Change it back to seventy-one," Steve replies easily. He feels like he's missing something when Eddie's face falters a bit, but he hopes it's just him getting the message to not mess with it. And just in case he doesn't get it, he shuts the door a little more firmly than usual.

Only, two days later, Steve happens to notice that the thermostat is set to 69 again. He scowls and presses the button twice before going off to Eddie's room and knocking on the door again a little harder than usual, wondering why Eddie is trying to mess with him after they had been having such a nice day.

"Come in!" Eddie chirps.

Steve swings the door open and rests his hands on his hips. "You changed it again."

Eddie shrugs and leans back on his bed looking overly comfortable. "Just setting the mood."

"Yeah, you've set the mood, and you set it to annoyed. Stop changing it," Steve says as he starts to close the door. He stops as it's about to close and peaks his head back in. "Please."

With that, he thinks he's done with the whole thing. And after a few days pass, he's pretty much forgotten about the whole incident.

That is, until Robin comes to visit and suddenly asks, "Does it feel slightly colder in here to you?"

Steve groans and walks over to the thermostat, seeing the number 69 staring back at him. He's not sure when Eddie changed it, but he's not even currently there so Steve can yell at him. Instead, he just complains to Robin, "Eddie's been fucking with me and changing the thermostat."

Robin snorts. "Isn't he like perpetually cold all the time?"

"Yes! Which is why I'm so confused about him keeping it at sixty-nine all the time."

Robin pauses and glances over at Steve. "What is he keeping it at?"

"Sixty-nine."

Robin just cackles in response, and Steve glares at her asking, "What?"

"Sixty-nine!" Robin laughs again.

"Real mature, Robin," Steve says, rolling his eyes before the realization hits him. "Oh, Christ."

Robin only laughs harder, but Steve is stuck on the other conversations he had with Eddie which were... definitely miscommunications. Oh god, was Eddie trying to... proposition him?

Robin's laughter dies down enough for her to ask, "What's wrong?"

Steve gives her a look and sits down on the couch next to her, further realizing the thermostat incidents happened after days when the two of them got a little more... friendly than usual.

Steve sighs and explains the entire situation including the things he's left out before including his feelings for Eddie. He's glad that Robin holds in her laughter until after he's done.

"Stop laughing, it's not funny."

Robin manages to say through her laughter, "You both are disasters. But you're both so gone on each other that it's almost a little disgusting." She then stands up and grabs her bag, walking toward the front door.

"Where are you going?" Steve asks, following her.

Robin turns around and gives Steve a look. "I'm leaving before Eddie gets back and you two..." she gestures toward the thermostat.

Steve groans, "Get out, Buckley." He can't help but smile before he pulls her into a hug and digs some money out of his wallet.

"What's this?" Robin asks.

"Gas money for sending you away early."

Robin smiles and salutes him. "I guess this means I'll be coming back tomorrow."

"I'll call in case we're still-"

"Gross, dingus," Robin says with a laugh before she hugs him one more time and whispers, "Thank you for telling me."

Steve just squeezes her a little tighter.

After she leaves, Steve takes a minute to form a plan before Eddie gets back from whatever store he went to. He looks at the thermostat and sets it back to 71 degrees while he tries to think.

Unfortunately, he doesn't get far in his thinking before the front door unlocks and Eddie walks in with a few grocery bags in hand.

Steve just turns around and tries not to look too startled by Eddie's sudden appearance.

Eddie gives him a confused look and gestures outside. "Did I just see Robin leave?"

Steve nods but gives no further explanation, stuck on how the hell he's supposed to approach this subject with Eddie. God, now he understands the thermostat method.

"You okay?" Eddie asks before his eyes settle on the thermostat. "Oh, shit. Sorry, I did that late last night. Can we just forget that that happened? It was... dumb really."

Instead of forgetting it, Steve dramatically reaches up and hits the down button twice. "I think I finally get it." Eddie's eyes widen as Steve crosses his arms and continues, "Setting the mood, right? Or, tell me, what are you going to do about it?"

Eddie looks at him for a second then suddenly drops all the bags in his hands, practically racing down the hallway to Steve and cupping his face in his hands. "Am I reading this right?"

Steve slowly glances at the thermostat. "Well, it does say sixty-nine."

Eddie huffs out a laugh but quickly clarifies, "I don't just want that. I mean... I like you. And I just couldn't think of a good way to bring that up without it being some type of joke. Not that liking you is a joke, but oh god-"

"Eddie," Steve says firmly, stopping his rambling. "I like you, too."

Eddie's face lights up. "Yeah?"

Steve nods as his hands come up to Eddie's waist and pull him in a little closer.

"You like me enough to sixty-"

"Oh, shut up," Steve says with a big smile.

"Make me," Eddie replies, giving Steve an exaggerated wink.

Steve shakes his head and sighs before pulling Eddie into a sweet kiss, both of them smiling too much to make it anything more than a peck. When they pull away, Steve thinks he might murder Eddie when he whispers, "Nice."

But he wouldn't have it any other way.

[thelostmagicians]

Hugs | Steve Harrington

Summary: Steve Harrington hated hugs until you came along. [1.9k]

Fluff, comfort, slight angst, implied homophobia (against Robin)

♡

Steve Harrington hated hugs.

Hugs were meant to be soft and warm like ice cream on a sunny day, crackling fire on a chilly night, but to Steve they were anything but.

He blamed his aversion to hugs on the lack of affection he received as a child. He couldn’t recall a time when his father even gave him a simple pat on the back let alone a hug. And his mom, she tries, but when a rare ‘I love you’ slips past her lips it’s in the same tone she uses for the grocer at the store, so Steve can never tell if she means it.

Steve didn’t know the meaning of love until Nancy Wheeler broke his heart and Dustin Henderson nuzzled his way in with an unlikely friendship and demodog. Since then, he’s opened up his large and previously empty heart to a talkative Robin Buckley, Dustin and his group of ragtag friends, Nancy Wheeler (albeit it’s different now), a smidge for Jonathan Byers, and even Eddie Munson. Even though he loves his friends to the point of self sacrifice he can never seem to spare them a hug. He’ll give them an encouraging nod and an affectionate high five, but he’s never been able to engulf any of them in the warmth radiating off his chest. And Steve feels awful for this, he truly does. He felt awful when Dustin had to seek solace in Robin’s arms when Eddie was injured and when Lucas clinged onto Max’s hand while she was on life support. He knows they understand it isn’t anything personal, but he still wants to be able to show his feelings through a soothing hand hold or a comforting embrace.

The first time he sees you he's at Nancy’s house for a small gathering celebrating the completion of her and Jonathan’s internship at the big fancy newspaper in New York. You’re in the kitchen helping Nancy with the snacks, smiling wide at her full of sunshine and sparkle, a stark difference from the gloomy aura of Hawkins.

“I see someone’s caught your eye already,” Jonathan giggles, breaking him out of his trance.

Steve glances at you a final time before he turns to Jonathan and steals his drink.

“Hey, why can’t you just get your own?” Jonathan whines a little, the result of a smoke sesh with Argyle and Eddie slowly wearing off. Steve can tell he’s only got a few minutes left to question Jonathan about you before he sobers up and uses this to tease him in the future.

“Who is she? Don’t think ‘ve seen her here before,” Steve tries to act as nonchalant as possible, but he can tell he’s failing with the way Jonathan smiles.

“She’s mine and Nance’s friend. We met her at the internship and she wanted to visit here for a change of scenery. Isn’t that crazy, someone from New York finds a place like Hawkins interesting enough to visit?”

Steve nods in agreement, because why would someone like you, someone so full of light and everything good want anything to do with the drabby town of Hawkins.

“What’s her name?”

When Jonathan says your name loud enough for him to hear over Robin and Eddie’s loud chatter Steve gasps softly. He mumbles your name to himself thrice because it tastes sweet on his tongue, sweeter than the cherry popsicles he likes so much. You talk for the first time that night, nothing past basic introductions, but it’s enough for him to drive home with a smile on his face because he liked the way your lips looked when you said his name.

_

The first time you hug him he’s taken by surprise his body goes rigid and then pliant. He isn’t exactly reciprocating the hug, but he isn’t pushing you away like he would the others. He pulls back first taking a look at your disheveled appearance, Nancy had called him earlier frantically telling him you needed to be picked up from Creel House and he wasted no time coming to your rescue.

He brushes the dust off your shoulders as you huff in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry for this, Nancy told me to wait for her and Jonathan to get back but I wanted to see the house for myself. I thought I could handle it, but I guess it’s a little too creepy for me,” you explain sheepishly.

Steve chuckles awkwardly, still a little loopy from your hug, “Yeah this house isn’t for the faint of heart. We brought the kids here once to err- explore and we still have nightmares about it.”

Steve curses under his breath as you give him a curious look, pushing more details out of him. “There were just a lot of spiders, ya know and the history makes it creepy enough,” he plays it off like it was no big deal but he had an inkling you knew there was more to the story.

_

The second time you hug Steve it leaves him winded, but he decides he likes the feeling. He lets you hold onto him longer than last time and pulls back when you sneakily go to ruffle his hair. He pouts a little, hands swatting yours away while he tries to fix it the best he can without a mirror.

“Don’t worry Steve, you’re still the prettiest person in all of Hawkins,” you say giggling.

His cheeks heat up but he likes you too much to throw a fit about your teasing. You’ve gotten closer over the past few weeks, always bringing him and Robin lunch during work and he thinks he might just keep you.

_

Steve realizes you're a hugger when the first thing you do after you pick him up from the station is trap him in your warm arms instead of yelling like the others would have. He thought he was over high school bullshit, but he couldn’t hold himself back when Robin called him from Tammy Thompson’s house on the verge of tears because Tommy Hagan accused her for looking at a girl a little too long for it to be considered straight. He was fuming when he pulled up to the house, Eddie meeting him at the doorway trying to convince him to not make a scene. He tossed Eddie his keys telling him to take Robin home while he threw punch after punch at Tommy for making someone he loved feel unsafe.

He pushes you off gently trying to explain what happened but you shush him softly, eyes falling to Hopper as he claps him on the back a proud smile on his otherwise stoic face. Everyone’s waiting for him when he arrives at the Byers, Joyce with a first aid kit, Jonathan with a smug smile (probably reminiscing his first fight with Steve), and Robin with eyes full of love and gratitude. He lets everyone fuss over him that night before he falls asleep on the Byers’ couch with your hand holding his.

_

Steve lets you hug him often now, he rolls his eyes and huffs a bit, but allows it with the pretense of it being the last time. It never is, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

You’re on his kitchen floor passing a bottle of wine back and forth sharing core memories. The others have gone home already after the last movie ended but you seemed reluctant to leave, so Steve offered you the guest room and a pair of old pajamas.

“Do you have any happy memories, Stevie?” You ask gently.

Steve shakes his head, “Not really, didn’t really have much of a happy childhood I guess, the only one I can think about is going to my Nana’s for christmas, but she died when I was five.” Steve’s a little tipsy now absentmindedly spilling his heart out to you not thinking about the repercussions.

You smile sadly, “I know what you mean, sort of.”

Steve waves his hand urging you to go on. You sigh softly, “I’ve been almost everywhere and yet it feels like I haven't experienced anything. I have loving parents but I never feel like they love me for who I am, they only love me for what I am, you know? To them I’m more of a trophy, something crossed off on the path of life to show accomplishment. I told you I came to Hawkins to research small towns for a project, but I think that was just an excuse. When I met Nancy and Jonathan they spoke so fondly about everyone back home. They might’ve been in New York, but their hearts resided in Hawkins. I wanted to find that for myself and followed them here…and I think I did.”

Steve shoots you a soft smile full of hearts as your eyes fill with unshed tears. You try your best to scoot over in your tipsy state and fall into his lap resembling a clumsy hug. This time he doesn’t pull away.

_

It’s nearing summer break for everyone now. Nancy and Jonathan are heading back to New York in a few weeks to present a proposal to your guys’ boss in New York for a new paper about small towns with mysterious histories. They put together a portfolio with files full of research done by you, articles written by Nancy, and photographs taken by Jonathan. The kids are finishing up finals and making plans for junior year. Robin passed her first year at community college and he quit his job at Family Video to work at the station with Hopper. And you, you decided to stay back in Hawkins. Steve can’t find a better excuse than this to throw a summer party at his house.

The sun is shining, bellies are full, hearts are happy, and laughs are loud in Steve’s backyard. Steve opened up his pool for the first time since Barbara Holland’s death and he thinks it’s time he starts moving on. Everyone is in the pool having fun, everyone except you and Steve. You’re lounging on one of the chairs, Jane Eyre in your hand and a lazy smile on your face, so it was no surprise Steve chose to stay at your side.

Steve is terrified to bare his heart to you, to tell you how he really feels, he thinks he might as well hand you his heart and a hammer on a silver platter. But then he remembers the shy smile you had when you told him you were leaving New York for good and you were staying in Hawkins. He looks over to you, your book finally pushed aside in favor of watching your friends have fun and he can’t hold his feelings in any longer.

His fingers brush up your arm slowly making their way to pet at your soft cheeks.

“You know you’re the only one who’s allowed to hug me.” It’s a concealed declaration of love an I love you that only the two of you can decipher.

“I know.” I love you too.

Steve smiles shyly before gently cupping your chin and pressing his lips to yours in a much awaited kiss. He pulls back gently only to pull you into his chest. He squeezes you hard pouring all his love into the first hug he’s ever initiated.

Steve Harrington used to hate hugs, but not so much anymore, not when your arms feel like home.

[cosmicstarlatte]

Coconut (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

You got a coconut and need help opening it. You decide to ask your favorite guy. Does he fail or succeed?

»Characters: Demon Bros + Dateables

»Tags: Shitpost, Humor, Mammon's At It Again, Levi Is My Fave

Lucifer:

"Hand it over."

He's heard of coconuts but never seen one up close

Gently tosses it in his hand for a feel

Hmph this will be easy

ItWasNot.png

Had to pull out the old worst cursed magic he could think of

It didn't work

The many cursed tools in the dungeons also didn't work

Sweating angry mess...how's it not open!?

Angrily chucks it through the wall

It knocked out a poor unsuspecting Levi

"I will get you literally anything else you desire that's not that."

Mammon:

"Why's it furry?"

"What do ya mean you're s'pose to eat it?"

He didn't understand why you wanted this thing but he wasn't going to let his human down

Got upset that his attempts did nothing, however he hatched an idea

Got a booth at the carnival

"Pay up and test ya strength! How tough are ya!? HEY YOU! YOU'RE NOT A WIMP ARE YA?"

After hundreds of tries from monsters and demons, the coconut finally split open

He brought it back to you (wearing new bling and all)

"The Great Mammon never disappoints! Also...can ya get me more of 'em?"

Levi:

"Wooaahh a coconut!? I've seen these in so many anime beach episodes!"

The otaku was excited you came to him for help!

He was going to get it open one way or another!

He tried for an hour before sending you off

"I'll come find you when I open it!"

It would be years before he returns

(You lived in the Devildom after the program)

He journeyed through the Devildom in search of knowledge for his quest

He developed surprising friendships, suffered painful losses, but also discovered a new meaning to life

He did eventually find a way to open the coconut

He came back home wizard style

"I bring you that of which you requested"

"Levi no one knew where you went, you were just gone! We were worried!"

"I got your coconut open though! Quest complete!"

He thought the hugs and kisses from you were worth it, the coconut must've meant a lot to you!

I love him so much yall

Satan:

"A coconut? I've only ever read about them. Bring it here."

Gave it a few curious knocks

This will be easy 2.0

Tried to peel it and saw it did nothing

Tried to karate chop it, still nothing

He chuckled and a black aura surrounded him

I see.

He tried punching it and then clawing at it for a while

There is no god, just nothingness

He lost his shit in demon form

His rampage destroyed a chunk of the house

Coconuts are no longer allowed at the House of Lamentation

Like you can't even say the word coconut

Asmo:

"What is that?"

He did not want to touch whatever that thing was

He saw the disappointed look in your face and changed his mind

He tried to break it open in half with his bare hands but it was futile

Why is this thing so tough?

He was not having it, he was going to open your precious coconut!

"MAMMON!"

He could only think of one other way

A grumbling Mammon appeared

"Just stand there a second will you?"

He knocked the coconut against his head (HEY!) and the coconut split open!

It did break one of his manicured nails though but he thought the happiness on your face was worth it

Beel:

"Did you bring more?" (You did)

Was excited to try a human world fruit

Tried to break it in half with his hands

Was surprised when it didn't...but no worries!

He briefly bared his fangs and gave a sharp bite

It made a little opening and he was then able to split it with his hands

He was happy trying something new with you and was excited for future recipes

Yeah...no struggles here ajsjdlgkskdldk

Belphie:

"Huh? You want me to open that?"

He was surprised but flattered you'd go to him

He wasn't even sure what that thing was

He tried to strangle it but just couldn't get it to open

Then he tried to threaten it

Still didn't work

Was exhausted at this point and thought a well deserved nap was needed

You found him clinging to the coconut like a plushie

You never got it back

Diavolo:

"Oh what a cute little silly fruit!"

He thought it looked precious!

Of course he would open it for you!

After a few minutes of trying to get the thing open, he was getting flustered

This can't be from the human realm? It's...it's diabolical!

He gave a sad pout and tried a *different* approach

"Please little one, open up will you?" He politely begged the unforgiving fruit

It magically split open and he triumphantly gave you your coconut back!

...Still not sure how that works but it's probably just... a Dia thing LMAO

Barbatos:

"I would be happy to. Although can you pick it up in say 30 min? I have another task to attend to."

He traveled to the human realm and picked up some chopped coconut and fresh coconut juice for you

He's a demon of many talents

He's also a demon of many secrets

He's never mastered the art of opening human world coconuts but he wasn't going to let you or anyone else know that!

He gave you a beautifully arranged plate and fancy jar

Simeon:

"I can try."

He knew of coconuts but never touched one

He tried knocking it a few times but it didn't work

He tried to remain calm as he tried a few other methods

Burn it. Burn it Simeon.

No just ignore the voice

After one more attempt he lost his cool

He had quite a colorful vocabulary

Threw dangerous celestial magic spears at the indestructible fruit

Luke freaked out and knocked him out in panic

Luke was quite frightened and didn't trust coconuts after Simeons rage

Simeon hates when they refer to it as The Incident™️

Solomon:

"Sure! I will handle it."

He's opened a few in his lifetime

He found a way to get it open every time!

He gingerly touched the coconut

So we meet again

He took the coconut and chucked it fiercely against the wall

He smirked at the small shattered pieces

He thought back on the first coconut he ever had the displeasure of meeting...he will never be made a fool again

You decided to buy coconut juice instead

»Note: Imagine you ask Belphie to open a banana and he just immediately strangles the thing, like is that just how he opens things?? Yep, a new headcanon acquired!

⬦You might also like: Mexican Restaurant︱Waffle House︱Devil-Mart⭐

[kvrokasaa]

Friends to Lovers

cw: Isagi x reader, gn!reader, no pronouns mentioned, fluff, kissing, cringe, a mention of weed, I think that's all

wc: 766

a/n: lmk if you want to be tagged on each of my posts! No obligation whatsoever.

"He's cute, right?"

You were pulled out of your thoughts, interrupted by a random girl you've never met before. She had a bright smile on her face, her eyes tracing the boy you were looking at. "Isagi-kun is super cute," she continued. "He's so shy too, which just makes him cuter." She giggles behind her palm. You internally cringed at the sound of her giggle, she was getting on your nerves.

"And he plays on the football team," she sighed, her eyes full of love. You know that Isagi doesn't belong to you, you're both just friends. But you can't help the jealousy looming through your mind.

"Yeah," you replied curtly.

Isagi has been your friend for over two years, and somewhere along the way, you developed feelings for him. So, hearing this girl talk about how cute he is, even though she doesn't know him, makes you want to cry.

...

You don't know how, but over the next few weeks you've become closer to the girl. You've learned that her name is Yuki and she's in your class, which you never knew. But the most annoying thing since meeting her is that she never stops talking about Isagi. Isagi this, Isagi that. Every time she brings him up you internally sigh.

"Can you set me up with him?" The surprise was evident on your face, those words were the ones you never expected to hear. Set them up? Set Isagi up with a different girl? You were lost in your thoughts, but Yuki thought that no answer was a good answer.

So over the past week, you've been trying to help her out, much to your dismay. Most of the attempts failed, especially the one where you tried to get them in a closet together.

And over the past week, Isagi noticed how weird you were being. He noticed how close you were getting with this girl, and he has to admit, she's annoying. She doesn't stop clinging to him, laughing obnoxiously at stupid jokes, and nonstop coming to his practices. Isagi specifically only invited you to his practices. Yuki's nonstop cheering always made him lose focus. Isagi doesn't know how many times he's glared at her. If looks can kill, she'd be dead, he only hoped.

Isagi just doesn't know how to tell you that he likes you, not her. He doesn't want Yuki's affection, he wants yours. Isagi just never got the chance to tell you.

Until now. A party at Reo's house, someone he went to Blue Lock with. The music was loud, the smell of weed filling the house. Everywhere but the room you were in with Isagi, Yuki, and a few others.

The bottle spun across the floor for the nth time. It stopped in front of Isagi, you were too afraid to see where the other side pointed. But a simple giggle from Yuki made you open your eyes. Your heart dropped, you can't say you're surprised. But, Isagi got up, walked over to you, and grabbed your hand. His grip was tight and firm, leading you outside the room.

"Isagi, you're supposed to go to the closet with Yuki." Despite your simple protest, you still followed his lead. "I don't care," he gritted out.

After a few minutes, you both made it outside. The cold air made you shiver, but the tension radiating from both you warmed you up.

"I don't care," he repeated. "I don't care about Yuki, I don't want Yuki." You cast your eyes down. Did you make your friendship weird? All because of Yuki? "I don't understand, you've been hanging around me and Yuki all week. I-"

"I'm not hanging around you two for her! I'm your friend, why would I be hanging around a girl I don't know?" Hearing him ask that made you realize that, maybe you were being a little too,, dumb.

"Right, I'm your friend." His eyes softened. Do you think he only sees you as a friend?

"Yeah, I'm your friend, but," he sighed. It's now or never. "I want to be more than friends." Isagi blushed as he looked down. He likes you back? "Really?"

He nodded, happy that he finally got it off his chest. "Yeah, I really like you." But his happiness quickly faded when he remembered that you never responded to his confession.

"Do you like me?" You smiled and leaned in your lips meeting his.

"Does that answer your question?" Isagi opened his eyes which were full of love and desperation. "Yes, baby, yes." His lips chased yours, needing to taste you again. "Please."

Tags:

@priv-rose

[thequietkid-moonie]

Ok so I recently found your work and I. Am. In. LOVE. 😍 I was wondering if you could do Karma Akabane with a very cat-like reader? I'm talking someone who isn't fast to trust but clings to the few people they like. Or like constantly taking naps and yet is somehow always on top of their game when it comes to assassination or academics? If not that's cool though.😊😊

Karma with a cat-like crush

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Karma Akane ]

[ Assassination Classroom / Anatsu Kyoshitsu ]

Idk why but I got emotional haha

I ended up loving it, I hope you like it as much as I do

Karma is really smart and observant, is probably that since the start he had noticed you, although since at first he was more prideful and a little arrogant he didn't give you much importance, what could lead you to don't trust him at first neither

But as the classes pass by and the assassin training win more importance is where you get the oportunity to show your skills and true potential, however at first were everyone who where amased by your great reflections and elegant movements

Karma is competitive and rather prideful, specially at first so seeing someone that could be better that him it bother him (but he tries to hide it, he won't let you see him like this), he will try to approach you to challenge you, directly or indirectly, but accept is your choise, at the end he will still really interested on you (if you accepted and win it would be more out of frustration)

And when he start to notice how good you are with academics too your rivality just increase, you are getting in his prideful side and his challenging attitude increase. With this he isn't giving you a really good impresion, and you two probably were only related by the rivality for a while, but after some time he just start to get more curious about you wanting to know more outside of the challenges even when he doesn't express it, now more than a rivality he wants a friendship

He noticed how you seem more relaxed and even cling to the people you trust, contrary of how you act with others being just polite, even with him you just act either defiantly or just ignore him (depending on if you like challenges or not), so he knows that if he wants to approach to relate with you in a more friendly way he needs to win your trust first

The more you are bothered by his challenging and prideful attitude the more difficult will be for him to approach to you, and the more obvious will start to be for others his intention too, although is more probably that the ones who notice will be Nagisa and Koro-sensei, who offers to help him if he fails to get close to you

Although Karma is stubborn and since his personality is pretty charming it won't take much time for him to win your trust and become your friend, and with that he had the opportunity to get to know you better

Karma actually likes that you cling onto him, that means that you trust him the most, that flattered him and make him feel proud, and as the time pass by and he start to fall in love with you he just loves more that you cling onto him, he sometimes needs time for himself or maybe you just go with someone else but in those moments he end up missing your presence, he gets so used to you clinging to him that when you aren't with him he feels like something is missing

Also he can be pretty jealous when you cling to someone else, not matter if is someone of the group or not, he likes that you trust in others too but he can't stop himself from getting jealous, specially if you are affectionate, the first few times he got jealous by it he didn't hide it too well, those who pay close attention or know him well can easily see that something bothers him

He finds pretty funny that you like to take naps so frecuently or that you can fall sleep wherever, at first he just let you be and leave you alone, but after some time when he finds you sleeping he sits beside you and just make you company, he prefers when is just the two of you because that way no one will see how his expression softens, how his smile sweetly at the view of you sleeping peaceful or how he likes to play with your hair and pat your head softly from time to time

He doesn't mind if you wake up and see him there, he can easily came up with an excuse, saying that he is just looking after you since you are being so careless to fall sleep, and if you ever came to him because you wanted to nap beside him he will be so flustered but he hide it and let you do it, he says that he doesn't care but it actually mean a lot for him

He tease you a lot for your cat-like personality, always putting you nicknames that are relate to cats and making jokes like asking you to not purr

The rivality part never really goes away, but it lose importance after a while and just become a thing between you two, just challenging and making bets to each other as friends

With some time his crush become obvious and at first he was annoyed by it (specially when his classmates tease him), but after some time he just don't mind anymore, and even when he doesn't accept directly to others he doesn't deny it neither, and he isn't planning to confess right now mainly because he likes to play around

[crystal-crax]

A RANT

THE NEON LEON

(II) Why he needs to fail at being a leader

Inspired by Skulltrot's Leo analysis on Youtube (WATCH IT, IT'S SO GOOD, I LOVE IT)

What? Crystal! You're contradicting yourself-

Shhhh! This is poetry, listen to me

One of the reasons i've seen people complain about rise leo, is his overall "confidence".

They find him annoying or reduce him to "the funny guy", the one that messes everything up in the movie and deus ex machina's his way to the power of friendship.

But honestly, i think this is so far from the truth; Leo is integral to the concept and culmination of the rise turtles, he cements the message this version of the turtles has been trying to explain from the beginning.

You can't do everything alone; trust those who love you, and love those who you trust.

But honestly, i think a lot of people forget that we've all probably felt like him before.

Leo is quite a complicated character to understand easily (mostly bc the rise series got horribly cut down and omg i'm still hurting), because an important part of his character is he will literally never be honest about what he's feeling. The only thing he talks about? How he knows (bc he doesn't just think it, he's so sure about it) nobody trusts him or thinks he's capable of holding his own weight.

He comes off as uninterested and goofy because he so desesperately clings to that portrayal of himself because he needs to trick both others and his own mind that he's fine.

He doesn't think he's enough, he believes the team would be perfectly fine without him. He thinks he needs to prove he can do something so he can be valuable to the team.

And i think it's amazing

"Rise of the TMNT", the title already gives away the purpose of their different personalities and coping mechanisms on this version of the story. We're not meant to see an structured team of properly trained ninjas, we're here for the ride, we are walking alongside them as the team gets in line and learn how to be heroes.

Sure the other versions of the turtles had their own character arcs, you don't need to see something from the instant beginning to know the characters are growing, but rise has always felt more of a love letter to the turtle family itself. A complete exploration of an alternate universe where the mad dogz got to somewhat live as teenagers before earning the mantle as protectors of the world (and new york lol).

We're familiar with Leonardo's story in evey tmnt version, he's the leader. He's in charge of protecting the city and his family.

But the problem is always there, he fears he won't be enough, that he will fail to be the leader the world asks him to be. This is also something we see in rise leo but it's more...fresh? It feels naturally younger.

Were you never nagged about not taking things seriously when you were younger? Were you never yelled at for messing things up? Didn't you ever feel as if you had to prove to others that you were more they perceived you to be?

As someone that battles their own inferiority complex, leo feels...so easy to relate to.

He didn't ask for the responsability, and he kind of doesn't want it, but he learns to bear it properly.

He fails to be the good leader they expect him to be (i also have the theory he self-sabotages himself a lot?) but he learns to be more than what they expect.

To quote myself from my last post (yes i loved typing that) "a leader is not the one that orders, but the one that motivates and supports you". He learns how being a leader is not imposing or bearing every problem and responsability alone, but to motivate your team and guide them to never loose hope.

He uses everything he already knows about himself and his team to be better and guide them to a new version of the ninja turtle gang, one where family and trust is far more important than anything else (and it feels good to know we won't have the typical raph vs leo fight for leadership in the future- i mean there was a fight BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT THAT)

Someone stop me i might just start a tmnt rant loop of my own making and i'm enjoying it😭

[huachengeye]

Only Friends Episode 8: And they were all messy

Hello there! Episode 8 has been out for some days now, but after watching a reaction os YT and scrolling through the comments, I wrote this piece to add my two cents to the whole Mew victimization and Ray the supreme asshole (I don't actually think he is tho).

For organization and better reading comprehension, I'm going to separate this into sections, starting off with Mew going wild, then Ray, the fandom's favorite broken boy, and ending up with little about the relationship of the friend group.

Mew, one of the nasties.

First off, I'm a Mew apologist. He is, in fact, my favorite character as of now, but I'm down to criticize the hell out of him, because loving is caring <3

I want to start with the whole discourse around his and Ray's relationship. The fandom seems to be separated into 3 categories (and yes, I'm generalizing a lot for the purpose of making my point): Mew apologists, Ray apologists, and everyone else who thinks they are as messy as everyone else without needing to explain their behavior.

In contradiction with my very first sentence, I belong to the third category in the sense I think they all do bad things to one another. Starting with Mew, we already know that he puts himself on a pedestal compared to his fucked-up friends, but my boy was kicked out of his high horse and now is like us, failed humans. One of the discourses I've been seeing, and that some characters in the series agree with (Cheum and Top), is that Mew is being dragged down by Ray. I completely disagree. Mew is an adult, and although he is experiencing heartbreak for the first time, the way he is acting is very realistic. Mew's first honest conversation with Top was about how he is afraid of getting his heart broken. He confided that to Top, about how he lives through his books because of his fears of getting hurt. And it happened exactly as he feared. It would be weird if he just behaved normally after finding out his boyfriend cheated on him with his friend. So his way of hurting is not hurting at all, is numbing his pain and he does it in the same way as Ray because that's the way he thinks it works.

As the theories go for this BL, I've seen a lot of people saying that it is Mew that it's enabling Ray's substance abuse. Honestly, in my opinion, they are using each other. Mew made it clear that he doesn't love Ray romantically, he said it himself in this episode, Ray is the one he should love. I genuinely don't think Mew is using Ray with the idea of making Ray drown more in his addiction, I think the reason Mew is clinging to Ray right now is the same reason Ray clings to him: they were there when the other was going through his worst time. They are like lifesavers to each other. In this sense, they are mutually using one another, the difference is that Ray is also clinging to the idea that he is in love with Mew, when it's already clear to us, the viewers, that this boat has sailed. If Ray was certain that he wanted a future with Mew, and Mew only, he would've let Sand go. Because Ray didn't go after Sand only when he was under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, he also went when he was sober, actively trying to keep Sand in his life, even if their relationship was never a friendship, and was always sexual/romantic (for Sand, at least).

Still analyzing Mew, I saw this brilliant post by @wen-kexing-apologist (this post right here, highly recommend for you to check it out) where they analyze Mew, and his personality (or lack of, for that matter). As soon as Mew told Top that he decorated his place with ideas from Pinterest I felt bothered, especially with his whole introduction in the first episode, about how he is the table keeper (I honestly don't remember how he worded it). I felt bothered but I couldn't quite say why, so when I read Wen Kexing Apologist's analysis, it all made sense.

Lao Wen's (I'm sorry for the use of the cannon nickname of wkx, saying the whole username is a task lmao) thesis is that Mew has no idea who he is, and I completely agree with them. The thing that was Mew's whole personality is that he was a virgin, which was the thing that most set him apart from his friends. Yes, he is also a bookworm and a smart person, but these were secondary things when it came to who he was. Mew was the "pure" one of the group, the one that was waiting for the right person, for the person that was worthy of his virginity (just typing this makes me want to wither away). After Top, he is no longer a virgin, he is no longer that different from his friends. So once he found out about Top cheating on him, he had lost more than his virginity, he had lost his own ideals, because he wanted his first time to be with someone worthy, as I said, and well, Top wasn't worthy, but Mew didn't know that at the time.

Now, Mew doesn't have the one aspect of him that defined him, so he is utterly lost and is now mimicking the one person that offers him some type of stability, one person that he knows truly cares for him, Ray. I really don't know how Mew will react if he knows that Ray kissed Sand at the party, I don't if he won't care because he isn't in love with Ray or if that will only make him go down to the worst path. I think he will get mad if he finds out, especially because it's Ray, his best friend, the one who was there for him when Top cheated on him. Oh, the drama it's gonna be.

Now for Ray. I'm gonna be straight with y'all and say that Ray is the character I dislike the most in this BL, but also the one that I pity the most.

From the get-go, I knew Ray wasn't better than Boston or Top, but after this episode, I can't understand why people still treat him as the victim. He keeps on stringing Sand around as if he is his personal doll, even after Sand makes it clear that he doesn't want to be Ray's second option, that he wants Ray to let him go. Ray does not let him go, and more than that, he clings to Sand as a spoiled child clings to his favorite toy, not out of love, out of possessiveness. I don't really see Ray and Sand's relationship as one of love, Sand is basically Ray's parent, and for Ray, Sand is a thing he can own, just like he can own anything else with his money. For this topic, I recommend this post by @wen-kexing-apologist (yes, I might be a little obsessed with their analysis, sue me) and this post by @emotionallychargedtowel.

I saw some people saying that Ray doesn't know he is addicted, and that his substance abuse doesn't excuse his behavior but certainly explains it, I disagree. I think that Ray knows that his actions hurt others around him, and he knows because his friends and Sand already told him when he was sober. Sand said more than one time that he should drive whilst drunk because he could hurt someone. Sand in the hospital made it clear that he should take accountability for his actions. Mew keeps on chewing him about his drinking behavior (even if he doesn't in a very judgmental way). So he knows, he might not be able to control himself when he is drunk, but he never takes accountability afterward, not really. Even after his accident, what was his punishment? Community service, and even when it comes to that he tried to make Sand help him.

As for the idea that he doesn't know he is addicted, I think he does. I think he does, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. If I remember correctly (and I might not, please correct me if I'm tripping), when Ray and Mew kissed back when they didn't know Sand or Top, Ray says to Mew that if he hadn't found Ray in the bathtub, he would've joined his mother. At the time, I hadn't watched the flashback of his mother on the floor, but I got the impression that he meant that not because he would die like his mother, but because he would've joined his mother in the same way that she went. Now, I think that scene was Ray's way of acknowledging for a brief moment that he is going down the same path as his mother. Again, I might be way off here.

So my point is, I'm a bit tired of people trying to blame Ray's trauma for all of his actions. Of course, his traumas and mental issues are a big part of it, but he still chooses to hurt others, even when sober. Trauma doesn't mean you can treat others like shit. And as someone who grew close to a person that dealt with alcohol abuse and turned a jerk because of it, it's fucking tiring and emotionally consuming to have someone berating you. It doesn't matter at the moment that they are out of their minds, because in the end, you are hurting.

THEY ARE FRIENDS, BUT ARE THEY REALLY?

Now onto the Fantastic Four. After this episode, I saw some people talking about Cheum never actually caring for Ray or that neither of the friends did. I saw someone talking about how Cheum shouldn't have said that (her whole monologue) whilst Ray was being held down by a cop. I agree with all of it, except maybe for the part that his friends don't care. I think Mew does care, although he certainly doesn't look like he does now. But we need to remember that he was there for Ray when he tried to take his own life. And I believe that there are still things we didn't see from them because they are best friends. Before Top, before Nick, before Sand, the one that Ray could lean on was Mew and from the way Ray behaves around him, it seems as if Mew wasn't the worst friend around.

As for Boston and Cheum, it is VERY clear that the one person who keeps these 3 people (Boston-Cheum-Ray) as friends is Mew, he is the glue of the friendship. Things are starting to look bad for their friendship now that Mew is acting out, because even when Boston did what he did, Cheum-Ray-Mew were still together. We also have to take into consideration that maybe Cheum and Boston don't know the scope of Ray's problems, maybe they don't know that Ray tried to kill himself, because from what we saw that was something that only Mew knew. Cheum clearly knows that Ray still suffers from his mother's death, and that's why she walked away when he said that his mother is dead, but we don't know if they actually know why Ray behaves in such a way.

Let's look at the situation from Cheum's POV for a minute. She is watching her friend, Mew, acting the same way as Ray, when Mew used to be the one to try and make Ray stop. She sees that both of them are making decisions about the hostel that the FOUR of them worked on, without her (or Boston). She knows that Ray did the whole hostel thing because of Mew. She is feeling left out as if no one cares for her like Ray was feeling before he started going out with Sand. When it comes to their friendship and this scene of Cheum's explosion, we need to remember Ray did a similar thing to her on Mew's birthday. He told everyone about her private business, and for her, it doesn't matter that he was drunk, because it hurt her and could've possibly ruined her relationship (ofc if it did the blame wouldn't be on Ray, because he didn't lie about the things she said about her girlfriend). And as she was talking, she mentioned that she and Boston were always the third wheel, which makes me think about all the times Boston talked to Ray about how he needed to stop his bullshit and be real about how much he wanted Mew to stay away from Top - and he was so right about that, because what was the thing Ray did when Mew was heartbroken? He asked Mew for a chance.

For my last point, I just want people to try and be in the friend's place for a second. In everyone's place actually (except for Ray's). Would you be a pantheon of peace and calm when your friend keeps on doing things that hurt you? The series did a great job at showing how Ray's traumas hurt him, but it also did a great job at showing how Ray's substance abuse hurts everyone around him.

As I said, when you are close to someone who has an addiction, you want to help them because you know that it's hard, but at some point, you get tired because, in the end, you are putting your own mental and emotional health in line for someone else. Most of the time, the person doesn't accept your help. It's not that they don't know they are addicted (sometimes that's the case tho, not trying to generalize, but I'm using my personal example and Ray for this), is that they don't want to assume it, they honestly want to believe they are in control.

Ray doesn't have the best support friendship, but in the end, not a single one of his friends is well enough to help him out, not even Sand. Not one of them has the capacity to help him, so I think it's unfair to place them as awful friends for not helping Ray out every time. Again, you can't help someone who does not accept help, but that also doesn't mean that they should just leave him to go crazy and drink like a madman, snort like his nose is made of steel. That's not it. But I think we should stop minimizing his acts just because of his mental issues and substance abuse. As someone who has mental issues in a way that I had similar thoughts to Ray, it does not mean that I'm allowed to treat others badly because of it. And I know people ain't trying to place Ray (only) as a victim, but I feel like the bar is raised high for everyone that isn't Ray, just because of his traumas and addiction -- let me also remind some of yall, that Top snorts too, he looks like he may have or may have had an addiction to his sleeping pills, his house caught fire and his parents weren't there to help him because his parents don't give a shit about him. From what we know the thing that sets him apart from Ray is that his mother didn't die in a very traumatic way, but still, I don't see anyone trying to justify his wrongings by using his traumas (as it should be).

This whole essay is just to say that no one is fully right here. We have people messing up and people trying to better themselves. Right now, Mew and Ray are messing up, but I'm sure at some point they will get better, and hopefully Ray will get the help that he needs because now he is looking for the help that he wants (aka Sand and Mew).

[el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle]

Thank you so much for the long answer about Armando and Marcela's relationship! It's one of the things I noticed when I was rewatching, they weren't in love.

I also wanted to comment on Armando and Mario's dynamic because I notice that even on the first episodes nobody is totally on Armando's side? In the "you're the woman I need" incident Mario would rather spend time with Patricia than do the work Armando wanted him to do, Betty becomes exactly what Armando needs even so early in the show.

I think this shows how even if he was privileged Armando never has anyone on his side 100%, almost all his inner circle is with him in exchange for something? I was wondering what do you think about these two and if you think that Mario should come back as Armando's best friend in the new season like in Ecomoda.

(personally getting rid of mario at the end the og show was great to me, it really showed that Armando has truly changed)

You're welcome! I love getting questions jaja🥰

Oh, definitely. Mario is guided mainly by his dick throughout the novela lmao. Even in the worst of moments he still thought of women and sex (like when he tells Armando that they should watch the reinado because of the beautiful women lmao). His main priority is always himself and his pleasure and his gain, even if that means basically breaking Armando, his best friend, in pieces. Just look at how much he loves to tease and joke about Betty's appearence in front of Armando, even when he knows Armando is deeply in love and HATES those jokes. Or how he compares him to Nicolás and laughs at him when Betty is rejecting him furing the revenge arc, even though he's seeing Armando slowly going insane. Look how he laughs at his insecurities!

You can definitely tell Mario is there for the benefit and the fun of it. Maybe it's the status that being Armando's best friend gives him (I'm willing to bet that's why Mario is vice president, after all. We all know nepotism runs through Ecomoda's blood), or maybe it's truly that he enjoyed that Armando was as heartless as he was at first, just pursuing fun and pleasure and free of real compromise before everything went downhill.

In the same manner, Mario HAD to continue to cling to Armando's presidency and friendship because, had Armando lost the presidency before they wreaked Ecomoda and Daniel had actually become president, Mario would have lost his position simply for being on Armando's 'side.' Just like how Olarte lost his own position for being on Daniel's (we all know Armando wanted to get rid of him before the whole computer damage thing happened).

So yeah, Armando has no one unconditionally until Betty arrives! Armando is privileged in a lot of ways (rich and handsome, just for starters), but he's also very lonely and emotionally unstable because he's always trying to prove himself. He fails at it a lot because even though he CAN be good (at his job, as a son, as friend, as a partner) he tends to go about it very wrong lmao

Overall they're pretty toxic. Armando has these rage moments when he physically and verbally threatens Calderón (grabbing hin by the collar, telling him he wants to punch him, etc), but Calderón also never misses an opportunjty whenever Armando is down to make fun of him (saying Nicolás is pleasuring Betty more than he does, making fun of Betty's appearence, telling him it's disgusting and shameful to love her, etc). Mario pretty much tries his damn hardest to bring Armando back to his bad habits during ysblf and ecomoda (for what little ive seen of it lmao), like trying to convince him to cheat on his partners (Marcela and then Betty)

I'm not really a fan of the whole thing coming back lmao and Mario coming back to be Armando's bestie feels like such a big regression for Armando's growth. It almost feels like he learned nothing, especially if Armando openly accepts the friendship like nothing. But I've heard Mario is now going to be a villain, which equally excites me and disappoints me lmao this dude was always messed in the head, but "villain" is a word too strong and I fear it will make a morraly very dark grey into a full on psycho lmao

I'm sorry for the lonnnnnnng answer jajaja Ig I had a lot of things to say😀

[mewspeaches]

2:46am | what once was

pairing : kenma kozume x f!reader

tags : angst, hurt no comfort, empty relationship, post break-up

wc : 1281 words

you were never a big fan of games really, well, you were never a big fan of multiplayer games, to be precise. you were perfectly content with spending your free time roaming around the cozy landscapes of stardew valley or animal crossing, both which supplied you with plentiful in game friends. that was until you met kenma kozume. all of a sudden you found yourself booting up first person shooters and spending late nights attempting to improve your horrendous aim, with kenma in your ear trying (and failing) to help guide you through the tumultuous learning process. 

the late night gaming sessions with discord as your mediator soon turned into shy lunches together in the food court besides your university, which then led to hours spent besides each other in internet cafés, and before you knew it kenma began to monopolize both your spare time and your heart. then there was the one night spent in your apartment, where the line between friendship and something more had been blurred past recognition and the both of you shared a clumsy first kiss to the soundtrack of howl’s moving castle in the background. 

you can still recall talking him into starting his twitch streaming, playful boasts about how you could “impress the masses” with your gameplay and help his channel blow up, and blow up it did! kenma captivated the audience with his calm personality and intricate gameplay techniques, even sometimes letting his fans catch a glimpse of his softer side when he’d have you on as an occasional guest. of course tetsuro constantly begged to be featured, but he was always shut down immediately much to his dismay. something along the lines of how his ‘uncouth’ behaviour would get kenma in trouble, is what he’d get told. your heart swelled with pride, watching your beloved boyfriend do what he loves and succeed? there was nothing else in the world you could have asked for. 

so when did things start going wrong?

there was no major concerning issue within your relationship with kenma, but rather an accumulation of small things that continued to pile on until you were both suffocated under its force. he’d stopped saying ‘i love you’ as often, claiming that you knew so why did he have to tell you? your appearances on his streams became more and more spaced apart, until you just stopped appearing altogether. he barely had time for you in his schedule despite you rearranging anything and everything you could for a chance to see him whenever he’s free, and if you were able to make plans he started making a habit of blowing them off. on the rare occasion whenever you managed to get together, the littlest things seemed to strike a nerve and sour his mood, cutting the night short. you aren’t sure when, but at some point you were constantly walking on eggshells when it came to kenma. 

it’s fine, he’s just stressed, he’s tired, he has too much on his plate, i’m being too clingy, were the excuses you began to repeat to yourself over and over again like a mantra, desperately clinging onto what was left of your first love. at some point they stopped working. you stopped fighting. what hurt the most though, was it were as if he didn’t even notice the shift in your behaviour. maybe you weren’t as important as you thought. what remained of the relationship crumbled on one particularly chilly night, but you had the heat from the tears streaming down your cheeks to keep you warm. he left your apartment without glancing back. 

warmth encompassed your body from head to toe, a subtle hint of sandalwood invading your senses as you slowly arose from your slumber. your drowsy vision was met with golden feline-esque eyes pooling with adoration, “morning sleepy head.” kenma’s voice called out for you, a faint whisper as soft as the breeze that swept in through the window that was left ajar. the ghost of a gentle kiss brushed against your forehead, luring you back to the land of the conscious. “ken?” you murmured brows furrowed, an uncomfortable pit beginning to form in your stomach. with fluttering eyes you struggle to focus your sights onto the imperceptible silhouette beside you. 

“wait, why are you here?” your lips echoed the thoughts swirling in your foggy mind, unable to logically grasp at your current situation. he shouldn’t be here. “kenma?” you called out once more with intent, a cold chill shooting through your form as you abruptly sit upright rubbing your eyes with desperation. the previous warmth had all but vanished, and the lingering scent of sandalwood still playfully wafting around you as if to mock as you sat in your bed, alone. 

everything was a reminder of him–or rather, the lack of him. you were haunted by the memories of what once was, and even though it was cruel, you couldn’t help but hope he was tortured too. the stack of games you’d purchased throughout the course of your relationship now sat abandoned, collecting dust in some corner of your living room as you couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy them anymore without the one who’d introduced you to them. 

you no longer ate near campus, opting to reclude to your apartment with this week’s bag of cup noodles and other various microwavable meals. perched on the floor with your laptop set up on the coffee table you aimlessly scrolled through netflix for something to fill the silence surrounding you. it has been almost two months since you broke things off but he still frequented you mind, as you often found yourself wondering about little things, has he dropped out of that one class he hated?, has he reached his subscriber goal yet?, is he doing okay or is he just as much of a mess as you are, or, has he found someone new? you shudder at the thought and your heart pangs.

switching tabs as you fall victim to the curiosity, your search bar autofills and you’re met with kenma’s familiar streaming profile, looking the same as it always had since the day you helped him finalise the colours and overall aesthetic. a selfish part of you was glad that he left things relatively unchanged, for it served as proof of your previous presence in his life. there’s a red blinking button besides his username, signifying that he is currently live and you stare at it for a split second before clicking without a second thought. you make eye contact with your reflection on the black screen as you await with bated breath, once the screen loads you’re met with his face. 

this isn’t the first time you’ve let yourself peruse through his socials, but it is the first time you’ve been able to catch him live, able to glimpse at him in real time from the safety of behind your screen. he looks good. he’s smiling, ever so slightly, eyes cast down presumably at his phone. there’s a hint of tenderness in his expression that you’re sure only you can pick up on, as you were once the sole recipient of such soft looks, despite the fact that you were unable to recall the last time he had looked at you so intimately. suddenly your appetite escapes you as he addresses the audience, his golden eyes boring into yours as he announces that there will be a special surprise guest on next week’s stream. you foolishly hope with all your being that he had finally given in to tetsuro, as you shut off your laptop avoid finding out. you immediately regret snooping, as your miserable mind begins to run wild.

# ange’s comments :

omg? me? posting on tumblr? insanity.

this is a really old draft, i'm trying to get around to finishing my old work so i apologise if im a little rusty :')

but yay! hi! i'm kind of back, i've missed it here!

[kurapikas-fucking-pissed]

oh i also wanna say, I see people point out how selfish Gon is for assuming Killua will always be there for him, willing to risk life and limb for him. Which is true. People are right to point out that the "it has to be Killua" scene is indicative of darker things to come.

But no one points this out about the "Gon, you are light itself" scene, despite it being very much the same case imo. Killua there is feeling defeated, but he sees Gon's seemingly endless hope and optimism, and clings to it, wondering how Gon can do it.... without considering that one day, that light might run out, that even Gon may become too weary to be an unstoppable force of good.

He was still unstoppable, but.... well.

This is why I say neither of them are inherently bad people, nor necessarily bad for each other - They were making the exact same mistake. They both assumed the other would, infinitely and without question, have their back in the way they needed most, found most impressive, convenient, lovable. They both failed to consider that the other may one day not be able to do those things anymore, temporarily or not - And that's not either boy's fault. It was a bug in their friendship they assumed was a feature and thus failed to patch out before things got bad, which is a pretty understandable mistake for 12 year olds.

And it's a mistake plenty of adults make, too - It's likely any one of us is making that exact same mistake right now, because it's so easy to make. It's so easy to love someone for something specific, and you grow to love them for everything else - but fail to consider that the thing you initially loved might not exist in them someday. It's a painful truth for anyone to consider, let alone experience, it's so true to life and that's why HxH has a fucking vicegrip on so many people. The people you love will always be loved by you, no matter how much they change, even if what you loved about them is gone. You will always care about the people you care about, even when they change and become someone unrecognizable. Moving forward and deciding whether or not to continue that relationship is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but you will have to do it.

[princeblack]

regulus starts to realize he's failing to suppress his crush on bee diggory as soon as draco invites her to accompany the slytherins to hogsmeade over the weekend. he should be worried, either about her safety and well being or even about daphne's feelings. but instead his first emotion is excitement, thinking about how much he wants to spend time with her and listen to the warm sound of her voice as she talks about her day.

it's been almost exhausting, how much he's struggled with his crush on her, ever since he first laid eyes on her in first year. bee had started hanging out with the slytherins more the past year and a half, befriending draco and spending a lot of her time with astoria (who is now attached to draco's hip). it surprised him at first, how easily bee fit into their group of friends, just because many people seemed to be put off by his cousin's sense of humor and rudeness. but bee is sweet even to draco, charming him because it's impossible, even for him, not to like her. regulus still remembers when draco said he would sooner leave hogwarts than be sorted into hufflepuff, but nowadays he's close to bee and even friendly with cedric.

he's not so sure that daphne is charmed by bee, though, especially after last week when she deliberately asked regulus if he was attracted to the hufflepuff. he told her not to start, calmly redirecting the conversation because he didn't want to talk about something that was pointless to discuss. he already knew he couldn't control his crush on bee, and at this point it might be a mercy to break up with the slytherin girl. but his parents wanted it to work out, his mother still writing him letters asking about daphne on a weekly basis. he doesn't know why her opinion still has any hold over him, when he's already planning on leaving the death eaters and making her hate him eventually.

on saturday they all meet up, dressed in muggle clothing as if they're going out into the world and not just to the wizard village outside of hogwarts. both regulus and draco are wearing sweaters, but regulus's is earthy toned and casual, and draco's is decorated with a dress shirt beneath. the girls show up in dresses, both astoria and daphne wearing sweater dresses.

bee's is a dress too, but it's blue and short, showing off her thighs and cleavage, making regulus feel a little warm when he first sees her. "you look pretty," he tells her, giving a soft smile that reaches his eyes.

daphne doesn't seem to like it, clinging to his arm afterward as the group of friends go to various shops. he doesn't feel bad about complimenting bee; after all, regardless of his crush they're still friends and she does look beautiful.

it isn't until they reach the three broomsticks that things get more tense, daphne quickly drinking too much butterbeer. astoria tries to tell her to slow down, but pretty soon she's trying to crawl into regulus's lap at the table, causing him to gently turn her down. "daphne, stop," he murmurs, shifting her off of him. "hey, drink some water, okay?" he flags down the waiter, asking for some until they have a pitcher of it at the table.

draco smirks a little, like he thinks it's funny. "it's the middle of the day, daphne. you're going to have to join that hagrid in his hut if you're seriously getting wasted at this hour. have a contest over who can set his house on fire first..."

"don't be a dick, draco," regulus says, but his tone is too dull for it to be much of a jab. he's used to draco's comments like this, getting his superiority complex from his attempts to please his father. he doesn't take it too seriously, but he also understands that some do, including harry potter (which he hears a lot about, from draco).

his cousin rolls his eyes, but doesn't fight back. their friendship has always been like this, especially since regulus was given the death eater title and started commanding more respect with draco and the rest of the slytherins who knew. "whatever. i still think he's a bit of a savage."

regulus looks over at bee, meeting her eyes as if to share a knowing gaze, a flicker of a smile tugging at his lips. it's not the first time today he's caught himself looking at bee and talking to her over his own girlfriend, who is currently chugging a glass of water. "are you gonna finish that?" he asks softly, bumping his knee against bee's as he nods down to her glass, which still has a bit of golden liquid in it. "because, if not..." in the background he can hear astoria explaining to draco why hagrid is actually good at teaching care of magical creatures, which makes him smile again. / @devcted

[darkpoisonouslove]

I couldn’t decide whether to put these in alphabetical of numerical order, so I chose neither! Anyway, 11 for reluctant allies, 2 for CoL breakfast my beloved, 5 for domme AU, 9 for GxF enemies to lovers, and 10 for a WIP of your choosing 😊

Whatever works for you :D

11. Is there any scene you can't wait for people to react to when reading? Why? - reluctant allies AU

I'm going to have to go through a couple other scenes briefly first to explain the context of the one.

It's the portion of the story where Griffin is working with the Company but things are shaky with them because she and Valtor do have the habit of disappearing together (to make out) and things are shaky with Valtor because he feels that she's trying to earn the Company's trust way too hard. They are for once present in a battle with all of the other Company members and Valtor seizes his opportunity to kill Faragonda but Griffin saves her life and gets injured in the process. The Company extracts from there before anyone has a chance to react and Griffin heals slowly. The big development is that the Company now trust her because they are sure Valtor will never forgive her for what she did and she recognizes that fact as well so she has incentive to remain faithful to them and their cause.

Griffin sneaks out to meet Valtor and do damage control there. She explains to him that what she did wasn't out of remaining feelings of friendship for Faragonda but out of the necessity to earn the Company's trust. It's less trust in her than it is trust in his vindictiveness but if he remains mad at her now, he'll be doing exactly what they all expect of him. This is the perfect opportunity for him and Griffin to act without anyone suspecting them. Valtor concedes to her point but she can tell there's still indignation in him about her failing his plans to kill Faragonda. Still, they are on track with their plan so she'll have to deal with that later, when they've gotten what they're after.

However, when Griffin comes back to the Domino royal palace, Faragonda is waiting for her, fully aware of where exactly Griffin was. She is not fooled like the others and asks Griffin to leave. The argument pokes at Griffin's insecurities about her relationship with Valtor but she also figures out that Faragonda is hoping Griffin will leave because she herself cannot make herself expose her to the others and possibly put Griffin's life in danger. She still clings to her love for Griffin. Griffin uses that against Faragonda by pointing out (indirectly) that the situation with her and Valtor is the same. She challenges Faragonda to choose Hagen over her so as to lead by example. But if she does choose him and gives up on Griffin, how can she ask Griffin to choose her with a clean conscience? It's a Catch 22.

I can't wait to see people reacting to this purely for the angst factor. There's just so much juicy drama going on here and I want the readers to suffer with me. XD But this is also a really good representation of the balancing act Griffin (and Valtor but to a lesser degree) has to do to keep control of the situation. Plus, I feel that it really outlines the problems in Griffin and Valtor's relationship that will not be solved by them getting rid of the Company and the Coven, that they will have to consciously acknowledge first and work on to fix (not that I have any idea how I'm supposed to get them there but that is a hot topic in Griffin's mind).

2. How did you get the idea to write this? - CoL trying to have one normal breakfast

Because of this post that was in turn inspired by SotLK (I've written some context in the tags there). I just started thinking about the last line of the post and how they probably never had one single normal breakfast and I decided that it would be really funny if I wrote a fic about the guaranteed chaos that these people would cause while simply trying to eat breakfast and that's how the idea was born. And then I tried to figure out what would be best as chapter 1 and, of course, my brain turned to the gold mine of angst that Griffin's first breakfast with the Company has to be.

5. Is there any scene you're excited about writing? - Domme AU

All of them? This would be so much easier to answer if I had one single scene completely fleshed out in my head but as it is, there are still bits and pieces missing from the story as a whole and the characterization.

Anyway, to answer this, I am definitely excited about the scene where they discuss Griffin moving in with him because it's a complete accident. They were not trying to discuss that in the least bit. Valtor was being an ass by challenging her to "commit" to being the Domme by spending even more time with him at his apartment, which is causing some technical difficulties for Griffin. They have a fight about which one of them is more unwilling to spend their time together at her apartment and Griffin blurts out that it would be much more convenient if she were living with him. Before she can take it back, he invites her to actually do it (which she practically already has). He had reasons for not asking her himself but if she's the one suggesting it? He'll totally grab the opportunity. Griffin is not entirely sure this is a great idea but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it (obsessively). They are so stupid, Your Honor.

9. Is there anything in the fic you're not so excited about writing? - Griffin x Faragonda Enemies to Lovers AU

If we don't count the fact that I'm still mad this is even a WiP and we don't count all the stuff that I have yet to come up with in order to actually complete the storyline, it'd have to be the transition between chapters 1 and 2. It's pretty much the beginning of ch 2 that's the problem because I have to summarize what's happening and at the same time I have to convey the emotional impact of that time so I don't love this mix. Especially because the end of ch 1 is supposed to be somewhat cathartic but that still doesn't change the fact that the circumstances are very much working against Griffin here and her emotions are conflicting at best if not downright depressing at worst despite the relief she might be feeling as well. I didn't really spend much time thinking that through when outlining it, though, so it might just be that I wasn't paying close attention to what emotional payoff/buildup needs to happen there. I'll definitely have to revise it.

10. If unpublished, can you show a sneak peek of what you've written?

Fallen Love is the only WiP that has any text not formatted like a script so I'm going to give you an excerpt from that. I have actually added more to it since last time!

She had forgotten there was another side to his power. Only the taste of his volatile spells that singed and curdled the breath in her lungs lay heavy and bitter like ash on her tongue, prickled her nose and eyes like acrid smoke. But his Dragon Fire caressed her skin from inside now like sun rays, light and warmth infusing her flesh to repair all damage. She moaned into his mouth, appreciation and greed tangled into the sound.

Valtor felt generous enough to reward her for it. His fingertips mapped out a path for the magic – all the way to another hidden bruise at her shoulder blade. He’d gleaned its existence from her movements alone.

A gasp broke her away from his lips. Her eyes snapped open to find his locked on them. There was a hair’s breadth of space separating them and it hurt worse than the brute force of a spell-charged body plowing into her but he wasn’t in a hurry to remedy that.

Instead, his thumb brushed over her lips to erase even the cracks the cold had carved into them. A single blemish left on her–from the most indirect of spells the Coven had cast–was yet another reminder that she’d left his side. They wouldn’t have dared to touch her otherwise. He would have killed all of them for simply looking at her wrong.

She could let herself be flattered, leave herself to the arousal of being worshiped in blood – like a goddess. Now that she was dry again, the slickness dripping down her thighs was cutting, a flood that would have swept her away if not for the tear stains on her cheeks he’d missed. It would have cost him nothing to sacrifice the whole world to her but the blood she had spilled, the blood that had stained her hands and the inside of her mind had meant something. She could fight her own battles.

She reached for his vest, unsteady hands feeling up the way to the clasps. The metal yielded instantaneously, practically breaking under her touch. It would have easily melted in the whirl of swift, sizzling spells that he’d known he’d be walking into. It was too frail to be anything but a mockery.

Battles between them had been more frantic–lethal–during the last months, with more blood shed and more scars left that time and magic couldn’t erase. Enchanted armor had become daily wear, a habit even he had adopted. He had changed before he’d come to find her, when the threat had been neutralized, and it hadn’t been enough. He had to twist the knife further, make a show of how untouchable he was to her magic and any desire she kindled inside him. He could afford to help her when she wasn’t in the state of mind to make use of either.

Her fingers curled, hooked themselves into the silk of his shirt and phased right through it. Her nails dug flaming scratches into the skin underneath, revealed further by the fraying fabric. Strips of it shed off his torso and withered into nothing midfall. The raining buttons never hit the floor, instead dissolved into the waves of her magic splashing against the walls. Any other piece of clothing obstructing her access to his naked body would share the same fate. Nothing would come between their skin until she allowed it.

She had assumed he’d heal the angry red lines she left in her wake. A strangled grunt escaped her when his power lodged itself between her ribs, burrowed into the scar tissue there to stitch the old wound anew until there was no trace left of it.

She could have done that herself. It had been a deep but not fatal injury. Received in a battle entirely removed from Valtor and the Coven. Sometimes the seemingly unconnected thefts over the dimension happened to be just that – independent magic users seeing an opportunity in the rising panic and finger pointing. The sorceress she’d faced had breached her armor and had paid for her overzealousness with a life sentence. Griffin had kept the scar as a reminder of the change not just in her affiliations, but in her purpose as well.

In the blink of an eye, it was gone and Valtor’s fingers traced the next one.

P.S. I am going to include this here for absolutely no reason at all:

[kimstaana]

time is a monopoly : memory is a software

"moments later, i was all alone on a highway on pre-new year’s day thinking about what happened and hoping that that was one of those times we both lived in a state of self-regulating amnesia so that we can just forget."

does anybody feel the growing urge to take a trip down memory lane when the new year's approaching? the sudden feeling of going over how you spent the past 365 days of your life? and having void when you sense that you haven’t really taken enough time to fathom your recent memories or at least, grow past them? then, in an instant, you’re taken aback by how far you’re from moving on.

and does anybody ease the intensifying feeling by decluttering? by trying to fill the void in the act of both dumping and hoarding inanimate objects, may it be physical or digital? it can be old photos taken randomly in your memory card, expired negative film rolls you still used but didn’t bother to process, self-burned cds filled with illegally downloaded music and pirated films, hand-written letters from people you no longer talk to anymore, cake boards from your past birthdays, memorable and extremely tiring bus tickets, movie stubs from theaters you almost slept to, cringy high school slam book, and even failing grade school report cards.

i don’t know what got me into this high-functioning yet self-deprecating interest but truth be told, i’m a sentimental hoarder with ironic interest in decluttering. is it the self-reflecting facet? is it the fact that it brushes off the yearning? or is it because it reaffirms the need for a new start? i think it’s somewhere along those lines. i just know that there are times that i find comfort in decluttering anything lying around unused and projecting it as the better way to end the year—a restart to a clean slate.

the annual feeling clings to the overtly overused “new year, new me”, “new year, new beginning”, and “new year, new life” philosophy. surely, it’s about sentimentality but partly, it’s how it consoles the letting go and starts over the loop of life.

“you can't just throw out people the way you throw out things.”, protagonist jean says in nawapol thamrongrattanarit’s 2019 film, happy old year. it may come off as excessively dramatic but that’s how i ended 2021. not the usual decluttering, i was blunt and unfeeling as i throw out almost everything away, disregarding what they used to mean to me. i can reason that it’s because of the great isolation i was forced into that i began to pilot a general cleaning both literally and emotionally.

by the 1st of december last year, i was sorting every item that captured a moment in the past that hit pretty close to home. i knew my memory works as a self-defense mechanism, in its selectiveness, it archives my experiences that are most useful, regardless of them being good or bad that is why i made sure that i’d toss anything like it’s a done deal and that it will all be over if i throw things away already. but you know, sometimes, i feel like a lot of the things that i like to keep are from other people.

by the end of the month of the same year, hours between the 30th and 31st of december, i found myself declaring my love to my college best friend. it wasn’t rushed but it seemed totally abrupt. i’ve been thinking of confessing for the longest time but it was the admission of feelings that would outright stain the friendship that held me back. some people hold some memories dearer than others sometimes. i'm just like that and he's that memory for me. he is knotted to specific places that belong to the past even when it’s already been demolished. he is knotted to a specific time that belongs to the past even when it already happened. a still vivid memory that i’d keep. an intangible place that i’d go to. an irreversible time that i’d relive.

it was a long time coming, i told him i had feelings for him but i’m only doing it to let go of what feels like one-sided baggage i had to carry for a long time already. i don’t spill my guts to anyone and in his case, i felt like i already made it clear through my actions—he was my first confession and hopefully not the last. i told him not to say something or even react, he tried but i could tell he was overwhelmed and i was too devoid of departure.

that night felt like the longest night ever and it felt like we weren’t moving from the time and space that witnessed my confession. as we approach the terminal to call it a night, i didn’t let him come along with me like before, instead, i insisted to walk him up first so he’ll be the first to leave. moments later, i was all alone on a highway on pre-new year’s day thinking about what happened and hoping that that was one of those times we both lived in a state of self-regulating amnesia so that we can just forget.

the impermanence of things that used to remind me of him lets me translate what it means to “forget”—and why it isn’t bad if i still can’t get better while i’m at it. still, it’s not just about the bittersweet revelation that not everyone, even the closest people, can truly yield an ending they want, even if i pretend that that’s the case. it’s also the struggle with decluttering of relationships that we stored together in the things we shared.

sometimes, some things make me realize that moving on by decluttering is more than just throwing away things. it also means confronting the ghosts that come with it. from time to time, the mindless dumping reminds me to rue the day. to remember that a lifetime’s worth of very cluttered memories stands in the way and it’s not always about bypassing the painful parts—sometimes, moving forward requires a lot of attention and absorption.

it’s impossible to go full marie kondo or be out of our minds and just declutter things that don't spark joy anymore—to hurl things away without the slightest sign of hesitation but i felt like i did it that night. on the way home, i felt the inconsiderable regret of actually throwing something out, the heartbreaking reflection of something that cannot be changed. i know our own need to exonerate ourselves from feelings, regardless of the consequences for the other person, can sometimes ultimately be selfish especially when it’s all of a sudden—i’ll admit, my confession to him wasn’t for our friendship, but for my own closure.

oftentimes, i forget people and moments because there’s barely a physical totem to hold on but when sentimentality takes over, it becomes hard for me to let anything go, the least i can do is to remind myself that memories don’t live in things, it’s within me. everything that happened in the past had been recorded somewhere in my head already. after throwing some things, i’m going to remember what i’ve put into the trash bag one way or another anyway.

happy new year, friends!

[schoolbusgraveyard]

omg.. imagine the group having sleepovers or road trips.. taylor and logan making everyone friendship bracelets.. aiden making everyone wear matching halloween costumes(maybe aiden, ashlyn, and tyler as angels and ben, logan, and taylor as devils)..

pls just give me your heascanons on if they do anything together other then trying(and failing)not to get murdered every night

YES YES actually I started working on a fanfic where they were all having a sleepover/had it in my drafts for MONTHS and I was super happy w it, but I really need to go back over it/redo it tbh and then, y’know, actually post it somewhere. But ohhh my goddd oh my god all of the normal friendgroup stuff they could be doing............. adorable...... Esp the friendship bracelets made by Logan and Taylor tho, that just has my HEART.

I’ll use a few of your things for some of the headcanons, too, hope that’s okay! ^^

This is probably gonna get Really long

Okay so on the friendship bracelet note. Not really something they do, but when Tay and Logan hand them out, Ashlyn’s not really. Sure how she feels about it at first. She fidgets with it constantly, and literally only takes it off when she’s about to shower (or if it’s going to hurt her while she stretches) or get in a pool or something. She ends up fidgeting with it when she’s uncertain or thinking something over; it helps keep her grounded and also lets her do something with her hands.

Aiden is actually. Really careful with his. Like, scarily careful. If he’s about to do something where he’s worried that it’ll get broken or lost, he’ll actively put it on a lanyard or necklace under his shirt, in his bag--he’ll just take a single second to make sure it’s tucked away nice and safe somewhere before absolutely going off with whatever he’s gonna do.

God so the roadtrips thing; I feel like if they could drive (I know that the original Aiden could drive, and I’m not sure about anyone else’s skills atm) and had a vehicle they were allowed to use consistently, and the circumstances were... Different (aka not near-death every night), Aiden would pester the hell out of everyone to go with him on a long out-of-state trip. He and Ben would cover all of the expenses, and they could all just. Drive. Aiden, to me, seems like the kind of person who would just want to go, no real destination, no real place to be, just... Go.

Tyler kinda gives me the vibe of a guy that would just really enjoy just laying on the hood/roof of a car and staring up at the sky. He’d just get a kind of a “it’s calm and quiet and I don’t have to worry about anything right now” feeling?

On the note of sleepovers, I feel like the best place for it would probably be Ashlyn’s. Not inherently because of the graveyard, but where she has the murphy bed--they could all just spread blankets, sleeping bags, and pillows out across the floor and it wouldn’t be an issue, Mike/Emma would be constantly making snacks (they were being overdramatic and joking about ~pressing a cup against her door at like 3am to hear what she/her friends were talking about~ as well as sleepovers anyway) and checking on them, they’d be able to vote on a movie...

I feel like Aiden would immediately throw down like six horror movie DVDs that he brought preemptively, and half the group (specifically Ben, Logan, and Tyler would all just stare like “why? why would you want to do this? literally in an hour we’re going to pass out and see actual monsters and you want to watch a 45min ghost movie? and then after you want to watch another one?” to which he just responds with, “lol, yeah? perfect timing”). Taylor is kind of on the fence on it--I feel like she’d kinda lean away from a lot of ~haunted~ stuff after coming face to face with phantoms, but she still wants to try because, c’mon, they’ve all seen worse? they’ve lived through worse. how bad can one little horror movie be?

(Pretty bad, she probably ends up freaking out and clinging to either Ashlyn or Ben/hiding her face in one of their arms/etc. like, 2/3rds of the way through it if they even make it that far; Ben Cannot stomach horror stuff to save his life)

Aiden’s generally snuggly and physically affectionate (with a very weak understanding of boundaries) with everyone around him anyway--he would probably also be taking turns leaning against everyone, flopping down across them, or just kicking his legs up across theirs if they were all just sprawled out on the bed.

Taylor? Thrives off of this. As soon as he bumps his shoulder against hers, she’s immediately pulling him into a hug. Logan’s also pretty okay with this (and actually welcomes it! he’s just a little embarrassed), but he’s a little more reserved and withheld about it.

Ashlyn’s a little hesitant about it at first--moreso than Logan--but gets a little more comfortable after a little bit of the physical contact. She actually likes sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Aiden on her own terms.

Not relevant to the sleepover bit, but 3am Walmart trips. Aiden’s idea, mostly everyone was ready to go along with it. Logan was a little hesitant at first, but after getting into a Walmart at 3am and seeing how quiet and peaceful/not crowded it was, he was like “oh. oh no, this is perfect, actually.”

Goofing off in the toy aisle, seeing the absolutely weird shit that goes on in Walmart at 3am, getting the Specific Sensory Experience of a late-night walmart?

[buildinggsr]

Hello, I would like to know your opinion in the scene of Snakes 5x12 Sara tells him that he is more than a boss and that is why she left S.F... her motives are clear, but what about him? . In the 4x12 final speach, Grissom makes it clear that he can't risk everything so why does he want her in LV? It was clear to her that they couldn't go beyond being coworkers and that hurt both of them (promotion with Nick, Hank3x02...) Harming her not only professionally too personally.

Dear @floryugum,

thank you for your question.

Let's just begin by saying that in the inception of Sara Sidle’s character that Jorja Fox received when she auditioned was mentioned that Sara had a love interest for Grissom. This fact has to be complemented with William Petersen saying in an interview that “(w)hatever happened then it’s still a secret between Sara and Grissom”.

I point out that, as usual, I have an "unusual" opinion about this, in the sense that I think that before Sara arrived in Las Vegas nothing too "compromising" happened between her and Grissom. I think there was only a sincere and deep friendship, made more fertile by a mutual physical and intellectual attraction (this does not detract from the fact that they had already fallen in love).

Now, it happens sometimes that the bond of friendship turns out to be firmer and more sincere than that in a romantically united couple (especially when one element or both of the couple have already realized they are in love). In my opinion, it was this kind of relationship that set everything in motion.

Superficially, Grissom's trust in Sara was the reason that led him to ask her to join him in Las Vegas and entrust her with a very delicate task in the situation the lab was in at the time: after Holly Gribbs' death, to investigate what failings there had been on Warrick's part. This task is generally given institutionally to the Internal Affairs section, but Grissom decides not to involve them. So much of his personality, and even some of his refractory behavior toward Sara, can be inferred from this early behavior as the new supervisor of the forensic night shift team.

For as much as he is (or appears to be) always adherent to the rules, he feels that they can be broken in certain instances. This is especially the case when people close to him are involved/in danger: we see it with Warrick in 1x02, by his calling Sara instead of involving Internal Affairs and evidenced also by his decision not to fire him; we see it in 5x24, when during Nick's kidnapping he decides to take the ransom money to the kidnapper; we see it with Catherine in 4x15, when he sets aside the fact that she used the lab to establish a family connection of her own; finally, we see it in a more striking way in 5x13, when Sara risks being fired. The same is true in 7.23 when Grissom spends the night at Lady Heather's place. That he is able to do this only because of himself or because of the support he has among judges or other elements of the system is made more clear in episode 8x12, when District Attorney Madeline Klein tells him "If it weren't for me, you'd have no team".

Whatever the case, no matter how much Grissom denies it (to people around him and to himself), the feelings binding him to people play an important role in his life. He doesn’t know to what extent, though. Or perhaps he tries not to think about it.

And here we come to the point. Once the issue of Warrick has been solved, it is to be assumed that Grissom asks Sara to stay and continue working with Las Vegas’ team. He asked her to come to work in Las Vegas spurred by his "survival instinct": finding himself lost in a time of trouble, he clings to what he considers firm and reliable (Sara). He doesn't ask himself why he considers her "something firm and reliable," he just knows that she is. The relationship grown between them since they met has shown him that it is so. Thus, he suddenly finds this person whom he esteems and trusts (and whom, of course, he also finds attractive) moving closely around him everyday. This creates a short circuit in his mind, as Sara's continual closeness makes it increasingly clear where the roots of his trust in her go for nourishment - his heart and the love that unexpectedly sprouted the first time he met her at the Academy Conference. Since then, in a shadowy area of his mind, this feeling has continued to grow. When in episode 3x22 Sara asks him out to dinner, in fact, he says, "I don't know what to do about this": he knows very well that there is something between them, and he also knows what it is - love. In the shadows, that “something that has sprouted” time before has become a rose plant, full of beautiful fragrant flowers, but also many thorns.

The thorns protecting the beautiful flowers, the problems stopping him in the face of this dilemma, are various, but I think they could be roughly summarized in two points, which I would call: the sluice against the flood and the sheepdog instinct.

Regarding the first point, the sluice against the flood, one must consider the age difference. However much it may not be felt in certain circumstances, Sara still remains younger than him by almost twenty years. She is much younger than he is. Indeed, we see that Grissom has no problem approaching women closer to his generation - the lab technician in 1x01, Terri Miller, Lady Heather. The fact of youth is immediately brought to surface in Grissom's monologue that you mention, at the end of episode 4x12, in which he refers to "somebody young and beautiful." Grissom's tendency to want to keep everything under control, everything pigeonholed, leads him to realize the variables that come into play in establishing a relationship with someone younger, of which the main one is: what if I give in to this feeling and then she changes her mind? The same concept is presented by the culprit's words at the end of episode 9x02: "She promised me everything...and then she took it all away."

All these years Grissom has protected himself from this eventuality, keeping himself at a distance from everything and everyone. What could happen, then, if he opened the floodgates to the course of the deepest of feelings, letting it invade him, and then, instead of a nice placid stream full of little fish, the stream turned out to be a raging torrent? At work he sees it every day how destructive human passions can be. Also because of this, in episode 3x14 he says he doesn’t trust people. People are very moody, you know? Science is not. So, what would become of him if his relationship with Sara did not go as planned and she, once she knew all his weaknesses, left him? He would certainly come out of it with broken bones. As Grissom again says in the monologue at the end of 4x12, "and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else."

By the phrase "we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her" is meant not just a career, but one's whole person. It refers to the work that each of us does on ourselves to improve, to mitigate or come to terms with our weaknesses, to be able to cultivate our passions, continuing to be excited by them. The work each of us do in order to become a stable person, able to stand against the winds of life. Establishing a romantic relationship with Sara, for Grissom, means laying all this bare with her. And this is risky.

So, on the one hand there is this sense of self-protection, but on the other hand the mirror of the same feeling, the sheepdog instinct, can also be brought into play: he cares about Sara, wants to protect her, and does not want to hurt her. Approaching more mature women also means, in a sense, establishing relationships where the feelings involved may be less deep. Grissom knows that with Sara, instead, there is an important feeling at stake (on both sides), so why risk giving her hopes that he may not be able to honor? In 13x15 Sara informs DB and Nick of the end of her marriage to Grissom and when asked by Nick what the reasons for the separation are, she replies, "Ask him--I'm sure he had my best interests in mind." In this regard, for the sake of clarity, let me quote a passage from the "rollercoaster fic" (I'm almost done, I'm checking the third-to-last chapter) in which I deal with this stage of their relationship:

In the first phase of their romantic relationship, Grissom had touched Sara's heart, seeing it clearly, and deduced that she was a resource that had to be protected at all costs. Finding himself alone again, therefore, he decided to close his eyes and act as if he had not attained any knowledge up to that point. Survival instinct acted for him, throwing blind fists at the air and pushing him to leave the land, to drown himself in the immensity of the ocean, keeping away anything precious that could be broken. Only in this way would she be protected.

Sara is something precious to Grissom, and we have already mentioned that he has a tendency to defend what is precious to him, be it insects or people. And this inclination is exceptionally exaggerated in regard to Sara. His stepping aside therefore is a wanting to shelter her from harm that he might do. Perhaps, he also thinks that by remaining detached from her just a little bit, he would be able to protect her better from others.

Another reason that might prevent him from throwing himself heart and soul into the relationship with Sara is the fact that the two of them are colleagues and should not establish a romantic relationship. However, we have already mentioned that when something important is involved, Grissom doesn't give a damn about the rules, so this point doesn't matter.

So what is it that ultimately makes Grissom decide to let go of his moorings aside from Sara's being persuasive?

Not one thing, not the other, but a third secret thing.

There's a passage I heard recently in the movie "In the mood for love" that I think nicely renders the feeling that moved Grissom:

Feelings can creep up just like that. l thought l was in control. But l hate to think of your husband coming home. l wish he'd stay away!

Simply put, Grissom realizes that he needs her. Yes, he told her so, but saying it is one thing, accepting it is another. At some point, he realizes that he doesn’t like she to be too far from him, he doesn’t like other men being around her too closely, that Sara is so precious to him to such an extent that he just decides to try the thing, leaving aside all the doubts and fears. The process of arriving at the complete setting of the relationship, in my opinion, took some time. Let me quote another piece of mine, “As simple as an idea”:

So he faked it. He faked it until he made it. He faked needing her for a case, when he could have easily done without her. He faked that he happened to somehow be in the same place as her by chance, in order to show her something special. He faked that she had something in her hair, in order to touch it. He faked feeling like going home, in order to convince her to do the same. He faked that a flower was evidence for a case, in order to give it to her. He faked losing his balance, in order to put an arm around her shoulders. He faked having to say something to her while sitting in the audience in a courtroom, in order to get close to her ear. He faked a bravado he didn't feel in order to kiss her. And he prayed, he prayed, that she would give him a second chance.

That’s it. I hope I was able to explain my unrefined point of view and I hope you enjoyed the typos. Keep in mind that this is just my personal opinion. For more comprehensive and technically detailed answers, you might want to check/ask the GSR-biblist @addictedtostorytelling. There you’ll surely find answers to questions you didn't even think you had.

Take care and be safe.  Best, L