suicide cw
look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.
ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.
this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.
He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!
you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.
it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.
what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.
am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!
yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).
The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.
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【 abby anderson as a gf hc's 】
a/n: this is just super fluffy and cute <333 i wrote a lot so it's below the cut
first and foremost, lots of ppl make assumptions about abby and what she's like because of her appearance. she has somewhat of a rbf, and she's insanely buff, so many ppl are intimidated by her automatically.
that being said, abby looks to be understood and known at a deeper level, and wants to be treated like anyone else no matter what she looks like
i think she's the typical "intimidating but a huge softie" type like HEAR ME OUT
anyone can look at her and know that she's insanely strong and that she could easily take them out, and while true, underneath all that abby is extremely kind and caring
she may look scary, but she loves reading, she loves animals, she loves nature, she has a soft spot for lev, she's grown to understand the world outside of herself and that there is more than what meets the eye, she's learned from her mistakes, and she's deeply loyal
so while, yes, she is tough and strong, she is much more than that and wants to be seen for all parts of herself rather than the surface; she wants to be understood and she wants her partner to be someone who isn't intimidated by her and is willing to look beyond her exterior
so while everyone else avoids her and you willingly approach her despite what ppl say? and you treat her like a person—like she were anyone else? that immedately gets you on her good side and gains you her respect
you two begin to seek each other out more and more bc she enjoys your company and begins to open up to you
she lets you see every side of her, even the ones she typically wouldn't let others see
other ppl may be confused as to how you joke around with her so easily when they'd fear for their lives if they did, but that's simply bc you're close enough to her that you know how much of a huge softie she is
okay okay enough of my intimidating softie abby agenda and now time for more interesting stuff
im FULLY convinced that in a modern!au and college!au she'd be in pre-med studying to be a doctor or a surgeon; she'd do it bc she wants to help ppl but also bc she loves and admires her dad for his work
bc of this i also see her bragging to you all the time that she'll be your doctor wife who makes big money so she can spoil you
(and she lives up to that promise)
when she comes home late from work she's quick to make it up to you
ABBY IN SCRUBS
knowing her love of novels, i feel like she struggled to pick between pre-med and english as her major, but at the end of the day being a doctor called to her passions much more so she chose english as her minor
HOWEVER, i feel like her brain is so sexy especially when talking about novels she's read
like imagine her going on tangents about the book she's read and what she thinks the meaning is, then bringing up the story's historical context, and then interdisciplinary studies and just being like "omg she's so sexy i'm going to take my clothes off rn" bc of how smart she is
her book collection is HUGE and she lets you borrow whatever you want from her shelves, and you can see all the things she's scribbled in the margins, her silly annotations, small drawings in the corners, her cussing in her notes about the characters saying stuff like "what the fuck is wrong with you?" so seriously
she'll find poems she really likes and tell you about them especially the ones that remind her of you
i feel like she'd love emily dickinson and the bronte sisters idk i can see it
she's SO excited to introduce you to her dad
she's a huge family person and wants you to feel like a part of her family too
in a modern!au lev is probably a kid who lives next door to her that she babysits and tutors sometimes but she absolutely adores him and sees him as her brother
can you imagine how much of a hopeless romantic she is
she's probably so cheesy and loves romance and being cute with you where if it were anyone else it'd be cringy but its HER and she's just so sweet and so endearing how could you hate any of it?
asks you to be her valentine every year even if you're her gf bc she still feels the need to romance you
will make a spectacle of every holiday in order to treat you somehow
okay maybe gift giving would be a love language of hers too i can see it
but i feel like her top love languages are physical touch and acts of service tho
she's definitely the type to cherish any moment with you, and values being able to sit with you in silence in general but also while you do your own activities together (so parallel play basically)
.... i think she'd love to play video games to destress but not necessarily violent ones i think she'd play more calm games like animal crossing to relax or maybe minecraft where yall can build a world together and have a little farm bc she thinks its cute
teases you when you get lost or when you die in the games tho bc she's a bully (jokingly) like that
definitely the type to be like "only I can bully you"
very protective in general she wouldn't let anyone lay a hand on you and she'd take such good care of you
worries about your well-being (physical, emotional, mental) all the time and will do whatever it takes to make sure you're okay
if you need her at 3 am, she doesn't care she goes to your place right away
if you're sick she won't hesitate to buy you medicine, clean up your place, make you soup, whatever you want
when taking care of you while sick she calls you her number one patient and her favorite patient bc she's corny like that
there's nothing she wouldn't do for you bc when she's committed, she's committed
she's such a devoted and loyal person in general that when she cares about you, she cares about you, and there's no bluffing involved
just a very sincere and honest person who is willing to grow and learn, especially with her partner
i bet she's VERY open to communication and to talk things out with you she's the type to listen to you wholeheartedly and give you all the reassurance you need
she's the type of partner who's SO open to communication and good at it that you're like omg??? how are you so calm??? i'm screaming and crying and shitting my pants rn???
she's a huge softie and such a loving person who looks to be understood the way she understands others; she craves unconditional love and wants to give to others
she's just gf (and wife) material like come ON
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Biggest squicks with the nba fandom?
squick?? AW, that's a cute word!!!! im stealing that now, thank u anon! for squicks in the fanfom.. hm um probs colorism towards dark skins & its unseen seen effects . i feel this way toward Fandom in general and life lol. U'll see it everywhere of course.. huzzah..
anyways yea. i feel like the nba should have a way bigger Fandom on here as a sport, i mean. At least bigger than some. The players don't wear a helmet so u can see their emotions, their expressions! Everyone's taking high quality pics up close! The ball isn't the size of a pebble going 50 mph like in hockey lol. There's no helmets!!! U can see them!! Like! I love it! I love seeing faces! I love football but it's the celebrations that rlly make it, esp when it's a pretty wr who u just know is gonna take his helmet off and do smthing funny for the cam!
But that's also probably why it doesn't have a big tumblr Fandom .. u can see their faces .
Even if u couldn't, u'd eventually see most of them aren't white so. Yea .
And abt the colorism aspect, most of the players that do have a big Fandom are light skin. That's why im not the biggest fan for 'all x positions are x' bcs i feel like that's a big thing in football where all qbs are bttms. Which is funny, and i can see it! Im not trying to ruin ppls fun! But when u see how a majority of qbs are usually white for most of history.. and the ones that aren't get some attention if they look like Tua .. but if they look like lamar jackson.. good f'ing luck trying to find bttm fics for that even tho dude's got a bbl . Even tho i believe in switch supremacy for a lot of ppl (lamar included), i feel like i gotta fight for more ppl like lamar even being able to bttm at all.
Meanwhile ppl like luka or Joey b are just automatically always bttms bcs. Yea. They're 'pretty', so u just gotta apparently. But ppl will say jrue holiday is pretty! But does he have any fics at all of him bttming? Nah. Don't gotta for him. Hm. Wonder why ( I know) .
And with the rise of biracial nepo baby kids in the nba, some of them rlly gravitate to the pg position bcs it's like the head of the machine, and they think they can run that well with all the experience of their pops. So all pgs being bttms are kinda just gonna turn into that qb scenario where it's all light/white pgs are bttms and the other guys can be included thru spoken word sometimes but Def not on paper. And I hate saying this bcs i feel like a Debby downer or smthing. I'm not even trying to call out anyone or anything, it's rlly just a personal vent noticing thing that i can't point out specifics to, i can just say I've felt things.
Ppl go into Fandom to have fun! I'm not trying to police shit. This is all personal venting. But like im here to have fun too, and when u happen to be able to notice more stuff, u kinda just. Notice it. And it doesn't feel fun
And I'm not saying they're totally ignored, dark skin ppl in media. We're def modernizing somewhat . But when dark skin ppl usually ARE included, it HAS to involve a lighter sided person. And it's usually the lighter person bttming and the dark topping. And like i can get it, u know. Sometimes it's just the personality dynamic where the appearance happens to have that! But sometimes the appearance seems to overwhelm the personality aspect, or the personality just isn't showing that strength in the fic and it starts to feel. Weird.
I'm not saying all ships where the lighter one bttms are bad tho. I'm not. But I am saying that it fucking sucks to always have to fight hard against 'absolutes' when the absolutes are always against u . Like. Idk. When i had a luka ship with dennis (a black player whos not lightskin) and mentioned how Dennis was a bttm and all a sudden i got an ask abt how luka can't be a top . Like. Alright man.
U know, cus it's like. U'd never get someone defending idk. Jaren like that. Unless ure me Lol. But that's the thing, like it always has to be me or smthing against the world which is fucking stupid bcs i hate that thinking. It's so selfish! Which makes it less fun to be in the Fandom sometimes bcs it feels even more isolated in an already isolated space sometimes. But that's a personal thing. Anyways
Yeah. It's just tiring sometimes.
It's like the only ships that have white/black player where the white guy is a top.. the black guys GOTTA be a power bttm or SMTHING to explain it like. We have to explain why our beloved princess white guy isn't bttming to idk some black dude lol. But if u reverse that then the white guy bttm doesn't have to be a power bttm bcs no one blinks an eye bcs it already makes sense to them or whatever. Lol.
Lol ..
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if i see one more person say stuff like “i wish i had npd because the confidence” or if i see ANYONE ELSE put npd in a video called “disorders that are actually superpowers!” im going to kms (not actually but yk what i mean)
what’s so cool about not being able to feel empathy for your own friends, constantly feeling like you need supply, the trauma it usually takes to develop a cluster b disorder (npd included), the comorbidity of other disorders such as bpd wich i also have, the crashes (not so fun fact: one of them is literally how i found out i had npd), the envy, not being believed when you’re a self aware narc, being too scared to tell people about your illness because of how stigmatized it is, how angry and hurt it makes you feel when someone questions your status/superiority, the anger when you aren’t automatically seen as special/better, THE ANGER IN FUCKING GENERAL. I AM AN EXTREMELY ANGRY PERSON, IVE DESTROYED SO MANY THINGS AND WORSE. I GET SO ANGRY SO EASILY AND I HATE IT. FUCKKK! WHATS SO COOL ABOUT PEOPLE AUTOMATICALLY THINKING YOURE AN ABUSER BECAUSE OF YOUR DISORDER, OR THE DEMONIZATION (QUITE LITERALLY, PPL W NPD ARE BEING CALLED DEMONS BY SOME)
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🔥 jack
oh my godddd I have so many unpopular opinions where do I even start….HOLY DISCLAIMER BATMAN!
anyways so in no particular order or tier system:
✯ i don’t think jack would wear anything feminine im sorry spn fandom. for lolz he has same-outfit-pattern-everyday autism and for serious it’s like. Really weird how fandoms tend to HC/portray non-binary amabs (and men/transmascs in general) almost exclusively as GNC or fem-presenting…like DGMW that is a real and valid form of self expression but it’s not the Only type of non-binary expression that exists. and honestly…**dare I say that most fandom/queer spaces just need to realize that queer masculinity exists and it doesn’t always have to be a matter of breaking gender norms??
** genuinely do whatever u want idc I can’t stop you i don’t want to stop you yada yada. paint his nails and put him in a skirt all u want but Please recognize patterns yall 😭
✯ more headcanon complaints (see disclaimer above ⇧) but I promise to switch it up soon. anyways every time somebody on this lil website says something along the lines of “Jack can’t handle/doesn’t like [insert violence, scary or adult-oriented thing], he prefers [soft or blatantly childlike things]” I shrivel inward like a dead spider. It’s annoying, it’s completely inaccurate to his canon personality and interests, it’s annoying ˣ2, and whether ppl wanna admit it or not—it stems from infantilization. not necessarily ableism, as infantilization is not exclusive to disabled people, but still just about the same thing.
honestly all I see of majority jack headcanons are ones that set him back to just being a child or otherwise being treated like one. for example, the one about him being able to shapeshift is pretty cool...until it just becomes about him deciding to age regress, yknow, to an age set he canonically chose not to go through, showed no desire to be in, and is more offended than anything to be considered as such. all of his interests have to be some shit like bluey or animal crossing, and he drinks apple juice from a sippy cup instead of beer. BARF.
I’ve lessened on my keyboard warring over babyjack in the past year but I have not lessened in being a hater. and I’ve said this before, but the baby-jack au already breached headcanon containment a long time ago when it’s not only so widespread that ppl take it for canon and it makes having any intelligent conversation about him nearly fucking Impossible, but it also lead to harassment and accusations of being a fucking predator, to anyone who dared find a whole grown man attractive. any potential jack ship, like jackharper? automatic grooming case to them. it’s like the fandom is just so dead set on this idea that jack really truly is a child in every aspect you can think of, and for what? if it’s just a headcanon, something you know is not part of the actual show, then don’t go Travis the Chimp levels of apeshit when you see him being treated like he is canonically 💀
unpopular opinion numero 3 which is slightly connected to 2:
✯ baby-jack and a handful of the domestic au’s are BORING (see disclaimer again ⇧), not just on a surface level to my suiting, but also because I feel like it just ..misses the point of the show?
the ragtag untraditional found family is now as nuclear and traditional as the Atomic Age. Dean and Cas are the most heteronormative “who wears the pants in the relationship” gay couple ever, Sam is demoted to the uncle that gets written out of his own family, Jack is just there to make his gay dads look cute and emphasize that they’re a gay family (while still being very heteronormative), and at least 5 of them could be found in a California gated community. everything that made any of them unique or defined their personalities is just scrubbed off, even for an AU.
so much of the later seasons focus on Sam and Dean realizing that they don’t have to make a hard splitting decision between the lives they want to live; that they can find a balance; be happy and have good things—namely families—without giving up hunting (and vice versa, that they can have hunting without giving up on family or happiness). everybody loves the gay hunters from S10(?12?) and what they represented for Dean, but I almost never see that be put into practice in the fandom.
THEY’RE ALREADY DOMESTIC!!! AND WITH THAT PERFECT BALANCE!!!! Season 13 quite literally gave Team Free Will a surrogate son to raise and established them as a family; highly untraditional, largely dysfunctional, overall not fitting of a family family, and yet they are a family still. Dean wears an apron and cooks and bakes for everyone; he built himself a man cave and established two separate family night events that they all ritually keep up; Sam has a morning jogging routine and visits his girlfriend every so often; Jack was taught how to drive, has normal chores like washing dishes, and gets groceries. And they didn’t just have that while fighting monsters—they had that while fighting a whole fucking archangel. Even if it did go down the gutter by the end, they still had it: domestic familial bliss and violent messy hunting without having to trade one for the other.
✯ I truly genuinely think Jack’s relationship with Dean is the best, most interesting and most misunderstood out of the three, and I also think that the problems with his relationship to Cas and Sam are hugely overlooked by the fandom—granted they are very small, especially if you’re comparing it to Dean, but they’re still there and I think we should bully Cas and Sam about it more. I shan’t elaborate because it’s 5AM and this was an impulsive add-on ❤️
✯ getting normal now…his plaid pattern jacket from the first half of Ouroboros is ugly as SHIT i have never liked it and don’t think I ever will. but I cannot deny it; he got that shit on.
✯ most unpopular opinion of all, I wanna do insane shit to his cervix 🙌
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