#and im so relieved im sort of happy with it that im just hitting post at 7pm on a sunday in the middle of winter break

[raceweek]

// on alex and resistance

[ashessonfire]

listen here, you DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO RIP MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROW IT IN THE MUD AND STAMP ON IT WITH THAT LATEST KAZ FIC OF YOURS, GET IT? I'm completely… devastated. I never asked you for anything, please do a part two, I BEG YOU!

ps: darling, you write very well ♡

'Forgotten' Part two - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Prompt: Kaz slowly begins to remember your relationship, but what good is that if he has already tossed you aside? Can the Bastard of the Barrel save the one thing he truly loves?

You can find the first part of 'Forgotten' here!

- Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader (established relationship) - Warnings: A lot of angst, nothing too graphic, lots of emotion coming from Kaz + his crows, so much sadness, dont worry too much though ... :)

A/N: The amount of requests for this have been insane, once again i truly love each one of you, my heart is so full. I hope this is a good ending for the first part, im very happy with how it turned out!! P.S I am so sorry for the pain i seemed to have caused with the first post T-T ════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

Glimpses of you tormented Kaz, plaguing his every thought. His mind seemingly fixated on the one person he had deserted out of pure spite.

It had been two weeks since you were outcast, and Kaz had prayed to the Saints that it would relieve him of the weight gripping his heart, ever since his memory was ripped away from him. Yet they seemed to laugh in his face, spitting back a far more excruciating punishment for his actions.

Returning his memories.

The second you had left his office, tears spilling as they swirled in your shining eyes, Kaz had felt something deep stirring within him, something resembling dread. Since then, he had begged any higher being for relief as realisation began to flood his senses, engulfing his every thought and action.

Wounds scattered his already battered heart, with the rest of the crows seeming to crush it further each day. Ever since you had slipped carefully crafted letters under each of your friend’s doors, you had melted into the shadows of Ketterdam, not a single trace of your presence left behind.

You knew Kaz ultimately wasn’t to blame, yet the scars he had painted onto your soul were excruciating, physically pushing you away from him to escape further agony. You too, prayed to the Saints that your boyfriend, or perhaps ex-boyfriend, would regain what he had lost, and remember you as his lover.

Wind swept through your hair, salt spraying your glowing features as you sailed towards Ravka, choosing to allow the breeze to blow your pain along the wind, and back to Ketterdam. Pushing Kaz to the furthest corner of your mind, you stepped off the ladder onto Ravkan soil, determined to reap the benefits of your misfortune rather than wallow in them.

Taking the outstretched hand of a grinning sailor, you allowed the warmth of his smile and the welcoming of the group around you to bathe you in some sort of content.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

It seemed as if your prayers had worked, as each day wracked Kaz with a new memory or emotion, each one undeniably interlinked with you. His feelings overtook him, spewing out in rageful fits or harsh punishments for anyone daring to cross him, deepening the rift forming between the boss and his crows.

The moment each crow had read your letter, it instantly clicked into place what had happened, despite your deliberate attempts to remain vague about the exchange which had stolen you from them.

Sitting in Jesper’s room, the crew remained sullen, intense emotions clouding the air, becoming unbearable. The suffocating atmosphere was fractured when Nina suddenly burst out, “I am going to kill him. I warned him to be gentle, yet he pushed my attempts aside, and now...this. The hit could have been hard enough to at least remove some of his stubbornness.”

Nina huffed, rage coursing through her blood at Kaz’s actions, had she not been clear enough? “He can’t just send her away, can he? I mean, I didn’t think he would have it in him to do that, even before those two got together,” Jesper seethed, confusion lacing his voice but an unmistakable anger matching Nina’s.

Wylan remained silent, picking at the rotting wood of the floorboards, too overwhelmed at the loss of you to comprehend his emotions. Inej similarly remained quiet, eyes fluttering shut as she soundlessly prayed to each Saint that you would return, and Kaz would finally see sense.

Despite the varied reactions to their boss’s stupidity, a common thread held them closely together, pain. To each one of them you meant the world, a prevailing light penetrating through the dreary Barrel life which often consumed its inhabitants.

You lit up the darkness of the ruthless city, aiding Jesper in amusing pranks often against Kaz, in which you would take the blame for, knowing deep down Kaz could never hold it against you.

You consoled Wylan when whisps of his past would haunt him, taking him on walks along the canal or making his favourite tea and taking in the views of Ketterdam from the rooftop. The warmth of the suns beams and your words washing away his nerves.

For the usually reserved wraith, you encouraged her confidence, easing her fear of touch in a similar way in which you helped Kaz. Around very few other people Inej could say she felt the same comfort and unconditional love that radiated from your mere presence. Nina could positively agree with how Inej felt, intensely missing her gossip companion and partner in crime. You knew every detail about her, and the rest of the crows, in a way nobody else could ever counter.

On the third week of your absence, the crows had seen very little of their leader, the few signs of his presence being the scraping of a chair in his office, or the beat of a cane on the panels of the Slat, indicating he was finally eating before walling himself up in his desolate isolation again.

Paperwork scattered Kaz’s desk, yet it remained as untouched as it was when he had exiled you. His days were spent calculating finances, unable to bring himself to plan a heist without you, with a distinct and vital element of his crew missing.

A sudden echo of weighted footsteps sounded outside of his door, their ascent bringing a chorus of hushed voices as the crows burst into his office. It had been days since they had last encountered their boss, his previous sighting confining him almost indefinitely to his room. It was in the early hours of the morning a few nights ago that he had finally emerged to gather some papers from the common room, when his attention snapped up to a sight that he was utterly unprepared to face.

Before him, by a fireplace laden with dim embers, sat Inej, Wylan, and Jesper, all three bearing cascading silver lines down their faces. Wylan’s breathing was ragged as he sobbed into Jespers chest, the sight of which triggering the other two. Realisation slammed into Kaz, knocking the breath out of his lungs, startling him with the intensity of emotion that welled up within him.

Not only had he destroyed the one true tenderness in his life, but he had also destroyed his closest friends too.

By this point, he had figured that he had long been captivated with you, and the most recent flashes of memory brought his relationship barreling down on him. Although patches were hazy, he had decoded exactly what he felt.

He was in love with you.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

Before any of the group that had stumbled in could voice their opinions, the sight of their boss stunned them into silence.

Kaz remained hunched over his desk as always, but the ghostly paleness to his skin, the hollowed cheeks that protruded at sharp angles, and the grave circles etched underneath his reddened eyes deeply unsettled his crows. Nothing, not even Pekka Rollin’s greatest attempts to wound him, had ever resulted in Kaz Brekker’s complete and utter destruction.

Until now.

Inej quietly cleared her throat before courageously stating, “Kaz, we are going to find her. Not only are the Dregs seriously disadvantaged, but we also need her. Not just for jobs, even though you may not remember…” until she was cut of by a sharp voice.

Kaz’s head whipped up, glaring with a deathly warning at the people who stood before him. “I do remember,” he lashed out, voice deep and gravelly at the lack of use, “I remember everything now. You think I would have done that if I had known?”

His words echoed around the dim room, but it was something about Kaz’s face which caused the crows to collectively draw in their breath. A tear had freed itself from the confinement of his heart, snaking it was way down his ashen cheek, revealing to the group the torment he was being subject to by his own actions.

With a shaky hand, he procured a crumpled piece of paper from his waistcoat, holding it out to the group in a similar way in which he had done to you, the emotion in his chest pressing tightly against his lungs.

Jesper stepped forward cautiously, snatching it from his hands and unfolding the corners. The group peered over his shoulder to discover a meticulously thought-out plan to retrieve you from Ravka. Kaz glanced at the group, for the first time allowing them a glimpse of his true feelings, begging them silently to aid in his mission.

With a swift look to the others, they wordlessly agreed to Kaz’s plan, Jesper handing back the paper to his boss and giving a tight nod to Kaz, “Lets go then,” he declared.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

Through a thorough process of force, Nina had coaxed the reality of your conversation out of Kaz, pulling up rage from the group. However, they excellently withheld it, knowing you would never blame Kaz for his actions whilst his memories fogged over, despite the pain they had caused.

The air around them cleared as the ship sailed away from the port in Ketterdam, the grey of the ocean blending into cerulean as the voyage to Ravka proceeded. If Kaz’s calculations remained accurate, you would be collecting information within the small harbor you had first landed in, leaving little ground for the group to cover in search of you.

Once they reached land, they split off into six desperate individuals, Jesper searching the market, Inej scouring the rooftops, Wylan inquiring with locals, and Nina investigating the shops that littered the town square. Kaz stationed himself inside a cramped booth at the busiest of the sparse bars that lined the town, his informants assuring him it was the most popular with Ketterdam’s visitors.

For the first time in years, Kaz felt sick with nerves. He remembered how anxious he had felt when he summoned the courage to admit his feelings, but the sheer force of his panic now tied him down and drowned him.

Tears poured frequently from his eyes during the weeks of your absence, the dread of not knowing how you were constantly squeezing at his heart. The knowledge that if something happened to you it would be his fault ate at him until he was a mere shell of the man you had loved.

A voice pulled him out of his daze, like a siren inviting a sailor to dance in the depths of the ocean, Kaz was defenseless against you. As he turned his head towards the sound, you also glanced over at the dark figure in the corner, heart ceasing its movements in your chest the second your gazes locked.

It truly was him.

Frozen by the sight of you, Kaz couldn’t comprehend his own actions, remaining frigid in his seat as he stared at you, eyes once again being subject to the sting of tears.

‘Pathetic’ he thought to himself.

You gave a kind smile to the men you were conversing with previously, quietly slipping into the opposite seat from Kaz. You parted your lips to begin small conversation, not wanting the tension to grow too intense, but your words crumbled as he shot out, “I need you.”

Confusion flooded you, yet the desperation flooding his eyes signaled that he wasn’t done, the words were just slowly configuring inside. You knew him well enough to give an encouraging nod, letting him calculate his next words.

“I need you to come back. I remember it all, and” he stopped himself, breathing shallowly as his lungs refused to intake enough air, “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Tears leaked from his sunken eyes, his fragile appearance wracking you with emotion, the temptation to reach out to him becoming unbearable. Nobody but you had ever seen the Bastard of the Barrel break, yet he sat before you now, heart on full display for only you to see.

Yet you remained strong, answering his pleads by stating, “And how will that go? I know you lost your memory, but will you just push me away again if your feelings overwhelm you?” Before he could respond, you breathed out, “Kindness often isn’t free in this world Kaz, but when it comes to you, I would never expect anything in return. However, if you truly want me back, I need you to prove to me that it's really,” you paused,

“You.”

Instantaneously, Kaz reached for your hand, gloved fingers grasping desperately at your own, interweaving and caressing them in an iron grip. “I swear,” he started, “I will never let anyone harm you again in the way I have, my love,” a flood of emotion seeping into his words and gaze. “Including myself. I’m sorry,” he said, guiding your interweaved hands to his lips, the trembling a mere afterthought as he kissed your knuckles.

Smiling sadly at him, you tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, hearing a shaky sigh leave his lips at your touch, mere weeks leaving him in desperation for you.

“The others are here I suppose?” you questioned, earning a short nod from Kaz and a diversion of his gaze. Unwinding your hand from his, you stood up, glancing down at the sorrowful man, and offering a soft smile, “Lets go find them then,” heart fluttering as Kaz’s hand gripped your wrist, unable to go without your touch a moment longer.

Weaving your hand through his once more, your gaze softened as the tension carved into your boyfriends sullen face released, as the pair of you made your way out of the establishment, connected by the hands that gripped the other and the love that radiated between the pair. Once you had received at least a hundred embraces and kisses from the other crows, you embarked on the journey back to dreary city of Ketterdam.

Not once on the voyage did Kaz leave your side, exchanging soft touches in each moment, and gently whispering against your temple a breathy, “I love you,” as the sublime colours of the sunset bled into the ocean, coating the two in a golden haze.

Relief settled between you, having the other fully within their reach again.

As Kaz’s attention diverted back to the wide expanse of water before him, you pour all of your emotions into your next words.

“I love you too, Kaz Brekker.”

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

tag list: @cinnamon-bun47 @outlawqueen17 @s-corpionem @minstens @myheartfollower @cleverzonkwombatsludge @hopefulpeachnight @aesthetic0cherryblossom @thetargaryenbride @maisieisbae @natalia42069 @words-are-cheap @blancaster @caspianobsessed @lvmos-maximus @peotego  @rhyanna6012 

[princesachicana]

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 pt.2

a/n: it's finally here!! how long has it been?! first things first i want to say thank you to everyone who's been rooting for this fic!! I honestly hit a huge writers block and had no motivation to write!! but all the sweet messages from people saying they enjoyed my work has made me so happy!!! SO ONCE AGAIN THANK U AND I HOPE U ENJOY!! I tried my EXTRA HARDEST SO I HOPE THIS GIVES U THE CLOSURE YALL WANTED I LOVE YOU SM! ALSO THIS IS NOT PROOF READ SO PLEASE EXCUSE ANY MISTAKES!! I JUST WANTED TO FINALLY POST FOR U GUYS!!

It took a lot out of you not to stay in bed the next morning. The softness of your bed wrapped around your body gives you some sort of comfort. But of course, staying in bed would only make you feel worse. At least if you got up it would be easier to fake happiness. To no surprise, your phone was flooded with missed calls and texts from both Steven and Belly. Of course, you only responded to belly telling her that you'll explain your reasoning for ditching your "date" with Steven later.

Why did Steven even bother leaving you so many texts last night? If you were such a bother to him? Annoying. That's what he thinks you are. And what if you never heard those disgusting things he said about you? and went on the date with him? Would he just continue to lead you on?

Steven: waiting for you by the pool.

Steven: ur late

Steven: u look pretty even though i can't even see you. pls im starving

Steven: is belly holding you hostage?

Steven: it's been 18 minutes cmon.

Steven: the guys are going to laugh at me for being stood up I'm getting nervous.

Steven: did something happen are you okay?

Steven: belly is worried as well lmk.

You laughed at the messages blinking back angry tears that threatened to fall. Gosh! he was so fake. You could only imagine how relieved he must have been to not hang out with you.

Belly: have funnnn

Belly: no funny business!!

Belly: wait where did you go?!

Belly: Steven keeps pacing back and forth waiting for u

Belly: what’s going on?

Belly: just let us know ur okay

Belly: y/n ??!?!??

Y/n: hey, something came up last night sorry I had you worried. can u come over?

Belly arrived 20 minutes later. You spent the time together watching reruns of your favorite Disney show. “Do you want to talk about it?” Belly asked after a while, noticing something was bothering you.

“I overheard the guys talking about me last night.” You fiddled with the throw blanket that was on your lap. “At first it was just them teasing Steven about our date or whatever.” You took a deep breath upset that you felt like crying. “But Steven only agreed to hang out with me…” You paused blinking back tears. Belly moved closer immediately pulling you into a hug. “He only agreed to hang out with me…so I could stop annoying him! I honestly don’t know what I did wrong?” You pulled away from belly’s arms wiping your tears that had fallen.

“Maybe I was too forward? but I just wanted to see if he felt the same way…it was dumb.” You shrugged. Belly shook her head “Nope my brother is a fucking idiot!” she stood up taking your hand in hers and pulling you up. “I won’t let you mope around all day because of him!” You sighed “I don’t even have a choice do I?” Belly laughed shaking her head. “What do you say we go to the boardwalk? Taylor’s coming in today too” she smirked.

“And maybe someone would be happy to see you I don’t know” she whispered with a grin. “What are you talking about?” You questioned. “Well you know Xavier..the one that works the lemonade stand?” You nodded your head yes. “Well, he totally has the hots for you.” You cringed at her word choice. “He does not!” You laughed. “Oh, he does! you were too busy ogling my brother last summer you didn’t notice him ogling you.” she poked your side teasingly.

“Now let’s go!”

~

“Stay still before I poke your eye out” Taylor groans finishing up your eyeliner. You were now at the Fisher’s beach house getting ready to go down to the boardwalk. You laugh pulling away “I think that’s enough…if you make my eyeliner any thicker I’d cry!” Taylor playfully pushes your head away. “Sorryyyyy i want to make Xavier fall to his knees when he sees you!” You frown when she brings that name up. Sure, Xavier was a nice guy…and he was cute…but he wasn’t Steven.

You’d always imagined Steven being your first everything. First kiss, first date, first time. It was something you’d dreamt of all this time.

“Yeah…im going to get a snack before we head out do y’all want anything?” You ask heading towards the door. Both girls gave you a sympathetic smile shaking their heads no.

As you reached the kitchen you stopped in your tracks. Steven turned from looking into the fridge. You made eye contact for about 5 seconds before you beelined for the cabinets. “Hey,” Steven broke the silence as you pulled out a granola bar. You felt the warmth of his stare and turned finding him now leaning against the counter. “Hey…” you whispered looking anywhere but his face. “So you gonna tell me what happened last night?” Steven crossed his arms around his chest.

“Just didn’t feel up for it anymore ..” You shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s it?” Steven scoffed. “Yeah…that’s it” you whispered about to walk away. “What’s going on? I’m like so confused right now.” Steven gently gripped your arm. “Nothing just forget it…it’s not like you wanted to go anyways.” you rolled your eyes. “And what makes you think that?” He muttered eyes scouring your face for the truth. “Um, I don’t know let’s see …you quite literally ignored me this entire week!” You responded sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean to. I had a lot of shit on my mind alright?” Steven uttered softly. It almost felt genuine. The words he spoke just last night almost became liquid. “Yeah like what?” You whispered eventually looking into his eyes. “You can tell me..” You spoke gently stepping into him closer. No matter how much he’s hurt you. Steven would always make you melt. “Nothing let’s just forget about it…he pulled away opening up the fridge once again.”

It was like a switch was flipped. How he went right back to that cold shoulder he had been giving you all week. “You're a fucking asshole” You spewed, already ready to walk out of the kitchen. “Where are you going?” He abruptly spoke again. “The boardwalk…you know? so I won’t annoy you here.” With that, you left a confused and remorseful Steven behind.

~

“Hey, look y/n why don’t you go get a lemonade?” Belly suggested with an eyebrow raise. Shit. you were hoping they forgot about that. “Guys I don’t feel up for this..” You pouted looking between both Taylor and Belly. “Noooo go talk to him! you look hot as fuck.” Taylor gently grabbed your face giving you a mini pep talk.

“What if Xavier wants to hang out..I cant just ditch you guys?!?” You were stalling and they knew it. “We’ll be here waiting for you” Belly smiled. “Just try to have fun alright? But hey if you don’t really want to do it …we’ll back off” She narrowed her eyes at Taylor. “No…I’ll go” You laughed giving both of them a hug “Thank you guys.i really appreciate this.” You’d definitely still be moping around in your room about Steven if it wasn’t for Belly and Taylor. They both wished you luck as you headed straight for the lemonade stand.

As soon as he spotted you. The biggest smile spread across his face. “y/n? damn, it’s been so long” Xavier greeted you with a hug. “It’s only been a year!” You playfully ruffled his curly hair that sat atop his head. “That’s way too long…I enjoy seeing pretty girls year-round.” He spoke smoothly, he definitely knew how to talk to girls. “Shut up” You laughed pushing him away with not that much force.

“I have an hour lunch break…you up for arcade games?”

~

“So…you seeing anyone?” Xavier asked as he ate a scoop of his mint chocolate chip ice cream. You thought about it for a moment. Technically no you weren’t seeing anyone. But you knew you were still hung up on Steven. A day at the boardwalk with Xavier wouldn’t change that. “It’s complicated…I guess” Xavier sighed “I've been there…it’s rough” You nodded you were curious as to what he meant but you didn’t want to be nosey.

“Hey, look they have street fighter..” Xavier smirked. “Want to go a couple of rounds?” You nodded immediately pulling him towards the game. “Mhhm loser buys the winner a funnel cake!” You suggested with a chuckle. “Ouuu im so down y/n” Xavier squeezed your hand that held his quickly striding towards the arcade game.

Just two more steps, Just two more steps and you’d be fine. The rowdy yelling completely threw you off. You stopped in place looking behind you where the voices were coming from. You had no time to move out of the way, no time to prevent this from happening.No time to stop the trio of boys that you knew all too well. Suddenly a body collided with Xavier, the force immediately making your intertwined hands lose. “Dude, what the fuck?” Xavier groaned. It was then that you snapped back into reality. Eyes wide when you noticed Xavier’s ice cream now all over his shirt.

“What’s up? how are we doing?” That voice full of humor made you scoff. Steven stood tall a smile on his face. You hated that it kind of made your heart flutter. “Steven, what is your problem?” You gestured towards Xavier’s now ice cream stained shirt. “He’ll be fine y/n it’ll wash out.” Steven laughed, but once he noticed you didn’t find this funny at all he frowned. “I’m sorry man, I just came over to say what’s up..” You ignored Steven’s apology not believing he meant it. “Hey want me to help you get cleaned up?” You asked Xavier voice full of concern.

“No.I got it…I’ll see y’all later.” Xavier spoke nonchalantly as he walked away. When he was out of eyesight you brushed past steven heading out the door.

“Y/n” Steven immediately followed behind you. His long legs make it easier for him to catch up with you. “You embarrassed me” You stopped outside the arcade, letting him pull you to the side. “Embarrassed? sorry to interrupt your little date” Steven scoffed. “It's not a date we were just hanging out, why do you care?” You groaned running your hands down your face. “Maybe because just yesterday you were supposed to hang out with me?” Steven spoke definitively.

“Oh my god, just earlier you agreed to forget about it,” you said with an eye roll. “It was dumb, stop acting like you care just go home Steven I did you a favor.” He shook his head “What are you talking about right now?” Steven pulled you in closer, one of his hands placed on your waist. The other coming to the side of your face, willing you to look at him.

“I heard you.i heard everything,” you spoke up voice hoarse. Steven’s heart carried pain at the tears that stood brimming in your eyes. The realization was clear when he made the connection. “And you know..who cares what Jeremiah and Conrad think! what hurt the most was you.” You shrieked. You hated that you were crying in front of him. You hated that when he hauled you against his chest you felt secure.

“I'm sorry baby... I'm sorry” Steven sounded voice vulnerable. Leaving kisses atop your head. “Why would you say that?” you sobbed breaking down in front of the boy who caused it. “I didn't mean any of it” Steven brought your face between his hands once again. “But you said it..it still fucking hurts Steven.”

You wiped your face getting prepared to pull away and walk back home.

“Wait, please let me talk to you.” Steven begged. “okay” you replied being prepared to cry all over again. “My head has been all fucked up..and that isn't an excuse I know” Steven looked down as if he couldn't construct the next words. “Please don't shut me out.” you pleaded gently. “I want you...i have all this time.” Steve confessed for the first time.

“—And I didn't want to fuck anything up we've..been so close all our lives if I ever messed that up I would never forgive myself.” It's as if you were dreaming, the boy you loved stood in front of you disclosing his feelings for you. “And what? this whole week of you acting cold towards me, were you trying to avoid your feelings?” Steven bobbed his head “Yes, if I lied to myself it would make lying to everyone else easier because the fucking truth is I want you so bad” You didn't tell him but at that moment you forgave him.

“And you called me the annoying one?” You giggled pushing on his chest gently. “Right now we could have been making out on the beach….but noo you had to be a brooding boy” Steven tickled your side, causing you to squirm in his arms. “Yeah, my fault can I kiss you now? been practically wanting to my whole life.” Steven threw his head back fake pouting setting one hand over his chest. You figured you'd throw his words right back at him. “You're so desperately desperate”

Steven smirked “Yeah for you? I am” Those words welcomed a whole lot of beautiful feelings. At that moment is when Steven bent down bringing his lips down onto your own. As your lips moved together, butterflies erupted in your belly. You smiled against his lips when you both needed a breath. “Hey, by the way, your not off the hook.. I'm still sort of pissed at you.” You declared pointing a finger into his chest.

“Yeah, I figured” He laughed wrapping his arms even tighter around you. “How about I make it up to you this whole week? I'm taking you out on dates…ill even get on my knees if I have to. I'm going to follow you around like a puppy.” Steven rambled on. You laughed out loud covering your mouth with your hands. “Oh, it's funny?” Steven raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Yeah, you're such a loser.” You joked.

Before Steven could respond you tugged him into another kiss. Perhaps everything wasn't one hundred percent fixed. But you and Steven were finally here together. You and Steven were finally in each other's arms that's all that mattered. You’d figure out the rest together.

tags 🤍: @gillybear17 @snowsharkk @tesssastle @conradsupporterr @alyssa-cabrera @eranthisphiny @xoxoloverb @lostaurorax @lanisdreams @alexzluvz @lalaland-notfound @liltimmyst @unsaidjaelineose @buckys2thicc @lilygreennn @t8lzw @medusaslilsister @1-800-stilinski @yazmi710 @j-brielmalfoy @ashcannotwrite @colbysbrocks @exonct07 @multilover19 @mimisparkle12

@littlefreaksatellite @vintagebitc @lexi-2004 @melllinaa @xcallmetaniax @brizzlessizzler @haroldpotterson @livinginaglasspalace @delicatekidpeanut @queenanababy

@drinkawinchester @sarahbutnot @salvatoremikaelson54 @furiouscopsherduniversity @marrigold-2002 @angeliquelunasstuff @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @daphnen21 @ietss @imanaforever @itsreynasworld @she-is-a-happy-girl @joeybandthings

@kateisintrouble @stvrdustalexx @fictionisjustbetter @whezzy223

@conradssupporterr @clubmeredith13 @fatduck45 @trampstampz @fangirl-kimora

@just-let-me-fangirl-in-peace @reenfluffmarshmallow @kaz-mf-brekker

@yazmunson @bookg1rl @hockey-lover86

@just-a-pink-lady @moo-b1tch

[dairy-farmer]

So I've recently made a new AO3 account (completely separate from my main one, different email and everything lmao) bc I want to start writing porn, and I was wondering if I could have your permission to use some of your asks as like, prompts or ideas? Especially ones that were my own (this is PP!Tim Anon btw, and I've sent in. A lot of asks without signing them off as that, like I could make an entire list and it would probably hit double digits of which asks you've gotten that were mine lmao)!! I would ofc credit you and your blog! I don't know how to imbed links to the individual asks (I'll still try but I can't promise anything lmao), but I'll at least mention your Tumblr name and AO3 account!

I really wanna try my hand at some random, filthy oneshots without a bunch of world building or context, bc that's something I tend to get hung up on in my writing, and I wanna stick to some short and sweet smut oneshots about Tim being a pregnant, underage nympho slut, or a puppy factory, or a cocksleeve for the rogues of Gotham and their goons, all that good stuff!!

On that thought tho, do you have any pieces of advice for like, consistent writing, or motivation to write? Bc that's my biggest struggle tbh is sitting down to start writing. Usually once I start I can churn out a couple thousand words in one sitting, but I gotta start first, ya know? Any words of wisdom would mean a lot ❤️❤️❤️

answered out of order:

yes of course❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!!!!!! you don't believe how happy that makes me to hear!!!! so many of the asks i get sent are just so brilliant and well done and it would make me so beyond happy to know people started writing or got inspired to write out their ideas!!! and i'm sure that people who submitted other posts you get inspiration from would love to see others expand further on their asks ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!

one shots are a really great way to really get back into a sort of groove of writing because it can be shorter, the plot may be not as dense or complex as something from a multichap (though you can also write VERY long one shots that are incredibly detailed too), and it can be mainly composed of "fun" writing in the sense that you don't have to do buildup for bigger things like you would in longer multichaps or those that are heavily plot driven. i totally get struggling to get motivation to write, for me it was always like i had to wait for my brain to be turned "on" or in a working mode for me to get any writing for my fics done which meant it usually only happened when i was studying for exams or doing projects for school. however for me that meant when i was in the 'off season' like breaks from school it meant that even though i had time, i no longer had motivation to write. that's something i'm still working to break myself out of and i think one think that is pretty effective is thinking of a scene or piece of dialogue i'm excited to write and look forward to getting to so it motivates to write to reach it. that works sometimes, other times i think of a reward i'll get myself once i finally finish. something like candy or some snack or food i don't often get or go out of my way to get. and another thing that works for me sometimes is basically planning the fic, for a short one shot the major bullet points of what happen would be a short list and so it would pretty much trick your brain into thinking 'wow a short task list i can do all of these pretty quickly/complete them without too much hassel or procrastination!'.

ultimately i think writing one shots takes a lot of pressure off since as a single chapter there's basically no further commitment needed like it would during a multi chapter fic which can be very relieving for people who get easily stressed or pressured by commitments with no hard deadline.

im very happy to hear you'll be expanding on your tim ideas and look forward to them!!!!!! also if you need any help with embedding on aow the reference collection on ao3 is really helpful and its where i learned to embed links with this tutorial ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[xxxdreamscapexxx]

wow uhh you calling me cute made my brain melt ;m; thank you maam.

im okay, its late for me and i cant sleep :(( but your writing is a good comfort <3

but yeah! like i was saying— you are *excellent* at writing believable character dynamics, which is messy and frustrating to do well in a strict 24/7 dynamic like most of your stories are. a lot of the time it can feel forced or corny when people (me lol) write kink dynamics like yours? but you pair it so perfectly with this sort of… quiet domesticity that is SORELY needed to balance it out.

Im thinking specifically of your emphasis on cooking, in a lot of what ive read of yours but in this case with the new one, with the opening moment of the new fic being the reader running to her arms and burying her face in her domme’s neck, just to feel close to her and wrapped in her scent. it’s sensuous its tactile it’s warm, its a tiny detail but it really serves to balance out the scene, hinting at the much needed understanding that their dynamic is about more gentle and caring than the story’s scope, and since the story is sooo sex based you REALLY need that soft hit right at the beginning to prime the audience. its a really deft move that you pull often, like the way a dominant touches her submissive’s face in the heat of things, it’s grounding and stabilizing, re centering the reader and prepping us for whats next. little gentle moments to imply the broader relationship outside the sexual. it’s a really lovely touch.

ive also been thinking lately about your username, and how because your stories often orbit the same kinks and similar dynamics, it gives your broader library this lovely feeling like a recurring dream. i dunno about you but i get a number of recurring dreams, and with them its rare that the exact circumstance and narrative repeats, rather that there are a few central details or beats or images that appear in the same order, but the events of the dream between them shift and bend and warp as time goes on. for your writing it’s less that plot beats or narrative arcs repeat, and more that the central guiding points the rest orbits around are your kinks? if that makes sense?

the word mommy, the constant teasing and edging, the gentle lilt of wanda’s voice in the precise way you write her, the feeling i get in the pit of my stomach when the work presses my buttons… on a wide scale these become more than the sum of their parts, painting your blog into this alluring dreamscape where i find myself returning to the comforting sensation of your work, like a recurring dream that I’m relieved to return to, the consistent ebb and flow of tension and afterglow lapping at me and lulling me from sleep back to the waking world. it’s a really compelling feeling, and makes me appreciate your blog name for giving words to it. whether or not its intentional is irrelevant, the mere fact that i feel it when i see you post a new story is enough.

sorry for rambling so long maam i got a little absorbed…

thank you for letting all of us into your dreamscape <3 it’s no surprise i come here when I can’t sleep.

~ 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️ ~

Holy... I... I'm speechless! I've never, in my life, read a better, more flattering, more beautiful review of my work! I read it twice and I'm still in awe at how unbelievably alluring you make it sound! I love your attention to detail, and just the dreamy aura you wrap around the stories. I... I feel so flattered and so honoured to receive such high praise... Honestly, I draw so much of my writing from my own vision of a good, healthy, happy relationship, that I never knew how soft and sweet it must look from the eyes of the reader. I... I want to give you a hug and kiss your forehead, because I've never felt so appreciated! This is... Just heart-warming. Thank you for being so kind to me, dear!

[thevalleyoftriumph]

[ edit: end0s dont touch this post, thanks! please block me instead ^_^ ]

so! um. for those who Arent in the ava community group and thus havent seen these; 4 days ago i posted the first 4 images officially introducing a headcanon that ive had for 2 years. its a hc that is very very important and dear to me that i hold very close to my heart, as it is a MASSIVE projection of my own experiences with having a dissociative disorder and being a system.

huuuge huge ramble under the cut. ^_^

the headcanon, to put it at its most simple, is this; chosen is a system of 3, having himself and two others, killer and beast, of whom are sort of seen here via a visual design of their internal appearance/how they see themselves. thats about it.

theres more to it, obviously, and thats the shortest way i can explain it, but trust me when i say it is much much MUCH more complex than i make it out to be. a LOT of projection goes into this, so a lot of how i write chosen and his system are based pretty explicitly off my experiences with the disorder. thus, its actually a ... very detailed headcanon.

i have a LOT of thoughts about this headcanon as again ive had it for years now. you can actually kinda see little inklings of it in my ooold old art of these three! a lot of my thoughts have been posted in the community too, either in the replies of my posts or under a cut, so if anyone is curious and wants it to be rebloggable, feel free to shoot me an ask requesting i put it on here :] and if anyones curious about details to my headcanon, feel free to ask me about it!!! genuinely i adore talking about this one, it means the world to me and i love seeing people enjoy it!

i also just want to say, ever since i posted the original mini-comic, ive been seeing a LOT more system headcanons in the ava community here, and genuinely it makes me SO happy. i was very very nervous sharing the headcanon initially, since its something very special to me that means a great deal to me, and i didnt know how itd be recieved. i did in fact expect to get rocks chucked at me lol. but, seeing how much people ended up adoring it, and seeing others start to form their own headcanons, makes me feel a lot better about it! im so excited i get to share this with you all, putting this hc out public is like bearing a part of my soul in a way. nerve-wracking, but ultimately relieving. its really nice. so, thank you ava tumblr for being awesome ^_^

obligatory "im a system and im sick of seeing this in media" disclaimer however; if i see ANY of you pull the "evil alter" stereotype in your headcanons [or if you interprite my beast as one], i am legally allowed to hit you with a chair. if you genuinely dont understand what that means or why its harmful, you are okay to ask me questions! just please please please remember to do your research if youre gonna be making a did/osdd headcanon, especially if youre a singlet!! i LOVE seeing hcs, but theres a TON of misinfo online about these disorders. dont just use tumblr as your sources! use actual medical and scientific writings! obviously looking to see the personal experiences of systems is great, but pleasepleaseplease get your primary research from somewhere other than tumblr and tiktok. ok thats all obligatory disclaimer over lol

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Welcome To The Pack: Sing My Song

Part Two

Summary- 7.5k Steve Rogers x You. Having you back makes the Alpha very happy, and has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Which you don’t have any issues with that. Shuri continues her work with you, and making progress everyday, enough so Steve hopes to take you on a run through Wakanda. Bucky and his team are drawing in on Brock, but will they be able to take out the ex Alpha and his bitch for good? Warnings- Smut and Violence. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​

A/N- Im breaking this into 2 parts. Its long and I feel like its just a lot to handle all to once. So next chapter will be posted soon. As always, Thank you for sticking with me and The Pack, I hope you all enjoy. As always feedback and your thoughts are encouraged, I’m always open to hearing what you all think and would like to see for them in the future. Happy Reading 🐺❤️

Part One / Chapter 8 / Masterlist

Brock did nothing to fight back or defend himself. His eyes glittered malicious at Bucky, baring his teeth at Bucky. 

“Cassandra really had NO idea what you were. You were just such a good fuck and easy listener Barnes. You should have heard her screams when we showed her what you were, what we were.” Brock taunted, making Bucky recoil slightly hearing him.

Brock's taunts gave Alanna enough time to shift out of Bucky’s sight, for her to slink around the room and low to the ground and start to approach the White Wolf from behind. In Bucky’s mind the White Wolf paced, wanting to rip out Brock’s throat, lap at the hot spurts of blood that would spray. But then he noticed the silence, his ears flicking around but he heard nothing. 

<Where's the bitch?> the White Wolf snarled out.

 Bucky started to turn enough to see a rush of tawny fur leaping at him, and he spun to kick out, catching the Wolf in the ribs and sending her flying back. But it was enough for Brock to knock the blade from Bucky’s hand, and push him back to get out of the corner. He was hitting Bucky in enough different places that it was leaving Bucky too disoriented and a collar got shoved around his neck from behind. Bucky heaved his shoulders to dislodge whoever had come up from behind, and he sent Wanda sprawling against the floor. 

Brock was quick to back off once that collar went on him, barking out at Wanda who was just getting up to go for Bucky once more. “GIve it a rest, witch. We got him now.” Wanda subdued herself once more, that vacant look melding into something new, something controlled. 

“Wanda, you can fight this.” Bucky's hands went up to the collar tight around his neck, growling in anger and frustration, but doing his best to keep it together. Brock gave an amused laugh as Wanda continued to ignore Bucky. 

Alanna whined as she moved to a stand and shook herself out, not too injured from being kicked and started to shift back and get dressed once more. From the stairs, Pietro sent Clint tumbling down to land in a pile at the landing, unconscious now from whatever the twins had done to him upstairs. Bucky's fingers curled around the collar, trying to figure out how to get this particular one off. It wasn't metal like the one Pierce had used on him, no secret button to press. This was supple leather, molding around his neck like it was a part of him, thin, almost unnoticeable. He tried wrenching the leather against his neck to make it snap , but the leather never gave, and neither did the clasp holding it in place. 

“Don't even bother Barnes. That isn't like Pierce's contraptions. These are the real deal, you are ours now Bucky. You and your friends too. Teper' tvoya moya sobaka.” Your our dog now

“What the-” the man clammed up, Bucky and the White Wolf being pulled out of control of his body, and his eyes snapped from their usual friendly blues into cold steel. 

“Ahh, that's better.” Rumlow circled Bucky, leaning in close. “You will no longer answer to Steve Rogers, although I’m not sure why you ever did. You had the power to take the Pack from him. You now listen to me, Soldat.” Bucky stiffened more, and he too fell into the spell that the rest had. 

After Natasha left with Stark's Jet, Steve was able to borrow a jeep and took you out for the rest of the morning into one of the nearby markets. Once he parked the jeep, the two of you started down an open market lane. You and Steve were sure to pause and admire the carts of bright beautiful items Wakandians made for sale. Steve watched how you would pick up little trinkets made of the Beli wood and would sit the little trinkets to balance on your palm. Steve noticed you favored the animal shapes, little tree frog mid croak, then an elephant with its trunk curled over its head, one of a sitting  hyena pair, and a parrot that had spread wings like in flight. But the one you kept picking up was a little panther one that matched the cliff face carving that could be seen from the balcony of the room you shared. Curling your finger along its back before you set it down, you hummed happily as you wandered to the next merchants stall. Steve though stalled, watching you pick up a couple of scarfs, their colors vivid as you twisted to hold them up to the sunlight, the color seeming to meld on your face, lighting your eyes a whole new color. 

When you had stepped away, Steve picked up the small carved Panther, and subtly paid for it. Once it was handed back to him, he slipped it in his slacks out of sight when you came back to him, holding up a few scarfs. “I think I'm going to get these for Wanda, Sara and Natasha.” 

“They would like them, but what about one for you?” He asked, his hand moving to rest in the small of your back while you both went back into the stall to look.

You glanced at the colors, and then there was one that reminded you of your Alphas eyes that happened to catch your sight. It was a streak of blue and yellow and you picked it up to add to the arrangement you made. Handing it to the merchants owner, you gave a shy thank you. Steve wrapped an arm around you as the two of you continued down, and Steve happened to pause at another booth, overlooking some blades that had a unique sheen to them. As soon as Steve touched one, he was intrigued. The weight felt like it was made just for him, and he let his thumb trail barely along the edge of them. He was surprised with the immediate red beads of blood following along the barely there cut. “What are these made of?” 

“Vibranium sir. Each blade will fit to its owner's needs. The weight will change, absorb energy, be lethal to any target. These blades will never grow dull with use. I wouldn't normally sell these to any visitors, but guests of the Kings, feel free to choose from what I have to offer.” His hand swept over the collection, and you were fascinated watching Steve go through them. He obviously had a few people in mind as he set more aside to purchase, right along with several lethal looking arrowheads. 

The rest of the morning the two of you shared bites of food from samples offered, you would laugh at the occasional face Steve would make when he didn't care for the taste of something. Dropping his head to nip at your lips and growl against them that he prefers the taste of you instead. You glanced up at him and leaned up to your tiptoes, biting gentle on his jawline, before flowing to his ear. 

“I plan on finding out soon if you taste as good as you look.” 

Cerulean eyes widened as you sauntered away to where music was playing, your hips swaying back and forth, and joining in with others enjoying the music. 

<She got you that time.> The Alpha had a smirk to his tone, huffing with amusement at Steve's still shocked look. 

She gets me all the time, this time isn't anything new. 

When he finally reached where you were wandering while listening to the music, and engaged in several conversations with the Wakanda merchants. Steves wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips to your neck first. You arched your neck just a bit for him,  and he let his mouth linger against your temple, whispering just to you. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked as you watched some people weaving baskets nearby. The Wolf in him sighed in content when you nodded, and slid a hand under his shirt, pressing your hand against his back for the contact. “Yes, Alpha.” 

“We should probably get back, you still have a session with Shuri.” He didn't want to, but a glance at the time on the phone showed it was near noon and he wanted to eat lunch in the room before you two headed down for what he was hoping would be the final session for you with the Panther. You gave a soft nod, and he weaved his hand with yours, leading you back to the car. 

Driving back, it was a quick trip up to the room. The kitchen had already brought up a spread of crackers, fruit, cheese and some meats. In the heat the two of you shed your clothes, opting for something lighter and more airy before moving the tray out to the balcony, still in the shade, but able to enjoy the expansive view before you two. Pouring glasses of water, that Steve was sure to hand one to you while you leaned against the railing, looking over the view. 

“One day I would love to come back, if T’Challa would have us. Really explore.” There was so much they haven't seen, not with how tired you have been after your sessions with Shuri. 

“I'm sure we can Little One.” Steve rumbled, his sensitive to the light eyes squinting against the bright light. You nuzzled under his chin, and pulled him back into the shade to relieve him. Steve broke into a grin as he sat down, and wrapped an arm around your hip, pulling you into his lap. 

“With proper sunglasses next time, I promise.” He nipped at your shoulder affectionately, and you nodded, reaching forward for a piece of fruit, popping it between your teeth and chewing with a snort. 

“And all sorts of sunscreen. You burned a bit from that walk in the market this morning. There might be some aloe vera in the bathroom I can put on that for you.” Your fingers slide very gently along the back of his neck, where it has turned slightly red. Steve lifted his hand to feel the back of his neck, and sure enough there was a touch of heat.  

“Be gone in a couple days.” He assured you as he nipped against your jawline, rubbing a hand along your hip to steady you as you leaned for another piece of fruit from the bowl. Reaching for a piece of pineapple, you straightened and pressed it against his lips, so he would take it. 

“You know what they say about the pineapple, don't you?” You teased as you nibbled on a piece of cold cheese, smirking slightly. 

Steve's eyes shifted to yours, and you could see how your teasing was making them shine a bit more, as he tried to keep his voice as innocent as possible. 

Which really wasnt alot. 

“Oh something about tasting better?” He growled as his lips pressed to yours, pulling slightly on your lips before pulling away. You grinned when he did and nodded. 

“Mmhm, not sure what exactly? Maybe I will just have to take my time exploring to find out.” 

“You do that Little One.” He growled, even the Wolf started snickering at how the two of you were teasing one another. 

You nibbled your way along his bottom lip, the short hairs of his beard tickling you. A press of your tongue on the seam of his mouth asked for entrance, and when Steve opened to you, you were able to lap at the roof of his mouth, his own movements mimicking yours in that moment. You started humming at the sweetness the taste of fresh fruit left, his own tongue pressed against yours more demanding, wanting more of you. 

Hands started to match one another, yours cupped his face, and his braced against your back to arch you in closer to him. Sliding down his neck and to his chest, you started to tug at his shirt to lift in, needing to feel the spanse of his chest under your palms. All that power is just sitting there in your control. It was a head rush for you to know that the Alpha would do anything to keep you happy, and happily the favor was returned. Even though giving the bite scared you, if Steve really asked for it, you would allow him to mark you wherever he wanted his mark. 

Your fingers are curling against hard pecs, and burying in the dusting of hair, Steve’s grasped the curve of your waist and lifted you enough to straddle his lap, wanting you as close to him as possible . There was a growl against your mouth and Steve pulled away to place deep sucking marks against your neck. Your hips started shifting like they had a life of their own, grinding yourself against him for that friction his hard erection gave while straining to bury into your heat.

Steve craved the skin to skin contact, and his hands released you enough to reach over his shoulders to grasp his shirt and roughly pull it off. Yours too was in the way, grasping at the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head to drop it on the floor nearby. He marveled for a moment at the sight of you, and dropped his head to kiss the swells of the tops of your breasts in that similar way he was kissing on your neck earlier, your fingers clutched at him and a sigh escaped you at the coil he was building in your core. Fuck if he didnt have a hold on you, letting your body just lean into his hands, one pressing against the small of your back to hold you still while he removed your bra. Letting it fall to the ground, he nuzzled and kissed your breasts, bringing a nipple to his mouth, the hot lashing of his tongue, and pleased rumbled vibrating from his mouth through you to make you clench at the sensation. Your head fell back and lips parted to inhale deeply, sinking into the sensations of his hot lips and wet tongue teasing you while the brush of his beard brought its own tingling sensation. 

“You feel so good Alpha.” he heard you pant, and Steve bit down slightly before sucking you back into his mouth, his fingertips rolling over your other nipple before tugging it a bit, rolling and taunting till he could get his heated mouth over to draw you in, tease you till you were wriggling in his lap. He moaned again at the sweet taste of you. 

It was during all this his Wolf chose this moment to start calling your song, deep howls almost distracting him, you felt that bit of untamed wilderness in him when his body clenched, muscles tightening and rippling. 

Another roll of your hip ground you into his now aching, throbbing erection, and you pulled your hands away to work his pants open, reaching to take his cock out of the confines, and stroke him, palm him, run your fingertip over the head leaking precum. Steve growled and pressed his face into the softness of your breasts, before going back to kissing them, going back up your chest to find your mouth, growling against your panting mouth. “Get those shorts off.” 

There was no more thinking, or sense of you having to be anywhere in a certain amount of time as you scrambled off and started to tug the fabrics of your shorts and panties down, watching while Steve arched his hips to get more of his own pants down to give you room. It wasn't long till he was pulling you back to him, this time your knees found purchase in his chair and you reached between the two of you to press him against your aching entrance. Crying out as you started to bring yourself down over him. You knew that satisfied cry had to echo from your balcony, but you were beyond caring. 

A hunger for your Alpha over took you, and he was just as impatient as you because he lifted his hips to finish bringing you two together. 

“Fuck Y/N” his head dropped to bury back into your breasts, muffling the sounds of his groans as you flexed and clasped around him, whimpering yourself at how thick he felt at this angle, like it would split you to have him like this. But you were slick with need, and while he was still processing the intense feeling washing over him, being seated in you, and the damn Wolf howling over and over, you made the first move. Grasping his shoulders for leverage and arching up just enough to drag him through you, enough to sink back on him in a slow testing manner. “You're so damn tight.” Steve groaned against your skin. 

Riding Steve, you slid one arm around his neck, cradling against him. Your body knew what it wanted, and you let yourself go while he growled against you. He was back to kissing and nipping his marks into your skin while rocking his cock into your thrusts, meeting you with his own need to be inside of you, to feel you clenching him. “Just like that Little One, you are such a good girl to me.”  Your slick started to soak into his pants, the fabric friction burning against your thighs and cunt, but you wanted it and pressed a bit harder each time for that friction. 

Steve's hand flexed against the small of your back, dragging up to fist in your hair, wrapping it around his hand till he was able to pull your head back, swarmed with the desire to sink teeth into your neck and take you officially as his mate. You gasped when you felt the tug of hand dragging your head back, and he took over your movements.  His hand curled against your hip pulled you harder on his cock, scenting your neck and lapping over the pulse. You knew what he wanted, you could feel it with every angled thrust aiming to take you apart around him. 

He wanted to claim you as his, and you didn't want him to, not until your Little Wolf had returned. 

You whined out softly. “Not yet Alpha.” 

And that was enough, both Steve and the Wolf changed focus, turning soft nips into kisses, releasing your hair to dig fingers against your waist, and burying himself deeper, hitting that spot every time, and grinding your clit against him each time he filled you. It was enough to make your lower belly clench and your cunt flex and flutter around him. 

“Not until you're ready.” Steve promised as he claimed your mouth again, hissing against it. “Cum for me Little One, let me see you come apart.” 

Driving himself once more, snapping his hips up to bring you closer, a finger slipped between your bodies and pressing, rolling hard over your bundle of nerves to finish you. “Give it to me, your Alpha wants it.” he growled against your lips, sliding his tongue to fill yours, stroking and lapping at you till you started to squeeze him. Crying his name against the kiss, and eyes fluttering up to lose yourself in feeling anything but bliss. Steve gathered you close as his final thrusts sent him over the edge. He finished with the feeling of your cunt squeezing him tightly and milking him. It was just that much more incentive to brim you full with his cum. His balls tightened before his release and a burn in his belly snapped to crash you onto him, pumping himself deeper so you couldn’t forget that flood of warmth enveloping you. Whenever his knot would loosen and he could pull from you, there he would be dripping down your thighs, making him bury his head in against your shoulder with a groan, just thinking about it. Fuck how he loved that. Himself all over you, inside you. Everyone would be able to tell you were his. 

You felt Steve drift off in his own pleasure, his face buried in your shoulder and your nose traced his neck. You inhaled against his neck as his chest rose and fell against yours and you could feel his heart thumping wildly. Your fingers massaged against his upper back, and you leaned into Steve's chest humming softly in pleasure. 

“Thank you Steve.” brushing fingers through his hair, and you could feel him stir underneath you, lifting his head to press his lips against your temple, and leaning his forehead against yours with eyes still closed. 

“I promised you when you first found me that I wouldn't make you do anything you weren't ready for.” 

His hands stroked your back, and each scar his fingers slid over were no longer bringing memories of a time you fought to forget, but now they were now moments of touches and whispers in moments like these. Where both of you were coming back from the rush of being together. You arched into his touch and his hand flattened against the small of your back, pressing you into him harder, closing any space that might have been left between you two.  

The Wolf in Steve stirred, pushing once more to a stand and shaking out his fur after a few moments. His head cocked and ears perked as he was listening to something. Steve fully ignored him for now, still enjoying the post love making he just had with you.  

<She’s closer then before.> The Wolf's ears perked, picking up traces of your Little Wolf. The Wolf rumbled in anticipation of her arrival, and it passed through Steve and into you, making you press in closer against him. 

Call for her. 

The Alpha paced back and forth, listening for the Little Wolf till his head fell back and called your song once more. Steve hummed it himself while pressing his lips against your shoulder and in the hollow of your neck, lacing it in your skin and while you were relaxing from still coming down from your orgasm. 

You felt her, it was so subtle, a brush in your mind that you thought it would be nothing more then a glimpse once more. This time though it felt familiar as your own inner thoughts were, like before you were left all alone in your mind. First it was her soft sigh of content, like coming home after being away so long. Then the Little Wolf came from the very depths of your mind, each padding footfall bringing her closer to the front of your consciousness. 

Little Wolf, please tell me your back. 

She leaped into your mind with a graceful prance as she tilted her head back in the manner the Alpha had when Steve told him to call for her. She answered him with one of her own. 

<As if you could honestly could get rid of me.> She brushed up against your mind, feelings of warmth and affection radiating, and you straightened up suddenly in Steve’s hold. 

“Steve, she's back! She’s back, It worked!” You cried out, grasping his face and overwhelmed with emotion, you poured all what you were feeling into a kiss. Momentarily surprised, Steve was quick to tilt into it, inhaling your joy, relief and passion. When you pulled away, he grasped your own face, covering it in his own brush of his lips, a wide grin on his face. 

“I knew you could bring her back Little One, it was a matter of time.” He praised and you lifted your hands to cover his own, weaving fingers through his. 

“Not without Shuri, T’Challa, Natasha… You. I felt your Wolf, You.” You didn't know how to explain it, that connection you felt with him was what kept your Little Wolf searching for her way back. Steve’s brows lifted, searching your expression a moment, and let the corner of his mouth lift in a quirk of a smile. 

“Don't sell yourself short Little One.” He nudged his nose against yours gently and wiggled his brows. “Think we should go tell Shuri that you won't be needing her work on you anymore?” 

You bit your lip excitedly and nodded, in which he grasped your waist and was careful to help you pull off him and to a stand, moaning as he looked you up and down. “You also need to get dressed again. As well as drink some water.” 

You already were downing the glass on the table, giving him a snort as you set it down. The Little Wolf huffing in laughter at the Alphas bossiness. 

“You to Alpha, I wasn't the only one huffing and puffing earlier.” You poured him another glass and handed it to him before passing him to go get dressed, looking over your shoulder. “Are you going to let me keep these clothes on?” 

Steve drained the glass himself and worked on zipping his pants back up, following you inside, while leaning against the frame of the opening to the balcony. 

“Depends, The Big Bad Wolf is still hungry.” he smirked as you pulled a shirt over your head, wide eyed as you head poked through. 

“Steve Rogers, you really are an animal!” You huffed out happily. When Steve approached you, your hand smoothed against his chest and his arm came around you protectively. 

“I've never denied it, have I?” Biting your shoulder softly in play before he let you go, you both finished getting dressed and left the room to head down to Shuris lab. When they arrived, the woman had everything set up and Steve gave your shoulder a light squeeze of encouragement. 

“So I'm really hoping today Y/N that your wolf comes back with a bang.” Shuri said almost distracted, tapping on the tablet she was using. 

<Ha! I did come in after a bang!> The Little Wolf grinned with a swipe of her tongue around her muzzle. 

I think you planned it like that. 

<Maybe I did. I see now that I’m back you're not so shy around the Alpha. Straddling him while on a balcony in the middle of the day. Almost like… your back in heat.> She snickered. 

Shut up. You know I'm not. It was a lot quieter when you were MIA.

The Little Wolf huffed in laughter, settling down to let you focus. 

I’m actually so fucking happy your back. You confessed to her and the Little Wolf whined in agreement, happiness radiating through you. 

“Actually, she did. She came back just a little while ago. You did it Shuri. She's back.” 

Shuri gave an excited squeal, Steve momentarily tightening his arm around you in surprise before letting you go to meet the Princess. 

“I knew she would be back.” Raising her hand and you gave her a high five once you realized what she wanted. “Just a bit of some rewiring and bam. Good as new. You don't mind if I take a sneaky peek?” 

You shook your head no, and willingly got on the table, letting her pull up an image of the inside of your mind. Steve watched from nearby, admiring the way little sparks were doubled what they were before, an obvious sign that your Little Wolf was active. 

He did have a couple questions though. “Was it just the work you've been doing to bring her back.” Hoping for an answer that would prove to you that you called her back. 

“Some of it, but I genuinely believe that with time Y/N would have fixed this on her own. Just taken some time. I can't say for sure, as overuse of the herb isn't common. Honestly, I think once she felt at ease again, happy and content, safe. It was enough to bring the wolf back.” Shuri recorded images and took your hand to help you back up. Making you ponder on what she had said, glancing at Steve. 

Steve looked rather proud of you, and piped up once more. “Last question. She's back right, for good? No in and out disappearing on Y/N anymore?” 

You gave a stretch as you stood, curious now to Shuri’s answer, who prominently shook her head. “She's back where she wants to be. All those little electric waves, ones of content. She won't be disappearing again unless someone shoots you with a dose like that again.” 

“Yeah, that will not be happening. Fuck that time was more then enough for me.” You tuck back into Steve’s side, shaking your head firmly and the Little Wolf mimicked the action. 

Steve growled as well. “I'm seconding that, I’m bringing Y/N home, might never leave Pack Lands again.” 

Shuri laughed, folding her arms. “Right, just like T’Challa thinks I’m never leaving.” 

“Ha, you arent. I need my number one scientist here doing her work.” T’Challa strode in, nodding to the Wolves before arching a brow in surprise. “Starting late today?” 

“Actually Brother, we’ve done it. Y/N Wolf is back and just as strong as ever.” 

The King's expression widened, and he turned towards the two of them. 

“That is fantastic news Y/N!” Taking your hand, he enclosed it in both of his before lifting your knuckles to brush his lips against them. “I suppose I should set you both up for transportation home?” 

Steve looked down at you as he spoke. “Tomorrow morning perhaps? If Y/N is up for it, I would like to take her out for a run, if your offer still stands?” 

T’Challa nodded with a smile. “Of course Alpha, I wish it was a full moon but you two can go anywhere within’ Wakandas borders.” 

You couldn't help but feel excitement at the idea of a night run with Steve through Wakanda. 

Resting the remainder of that day in your rooms, You and Steve were lazy lovers passing the time, mostly talking about how good it would be to be home, as well as how you both wanted to stay a bit longer. A light dinner, and then when night started to fall, you both made your way down to the palace entrance to find T’Challa and Shuri waiting, offering to show you two around a bit. Steve’s hand rubbed against your back, kissing your shoulder while whispering. “Are you up for this Little One?” 

“More than you know Steve.” You stated while stepping away from Steve, shedding your clothing. The Alpha kept you blocked from anyone else while doing the same motions, and it was rather quick you had shifted into your Little Wolf, shaking your fur out and twisting to meet up with the Alpha, which he twined around you as well in greeting. His muzzle pressing against your ruff, and long swipes of a pink tongue cleaned your face, your ears, dragging down your neck while you nibbled back in his fur, rubbing against him momentarily. It was a joyful reunion for the Wolves as well as you and both of you started to play with one another until the two Panthers joined you with graceful fluid like bounds. They gave loud purrs as the two felines head butted each other and bright yellow eyes turned to the Wolves, flicking the tips of their tails, and rolling forward in the fluid way only cats can achieve. They ended up disappearing down the trail leading away from the palace, and the jungle started to come to life with the sound of monkeys giving out warning shrieks that the panthers were back in their domain. 

Your ears were perked after them, and you pushed to leap forward, Steve following right behind as you ducked into the heavy jungle foliage. 

Leaves slapped at the Alpha, making him growl and snap at the heavy foliage, missing the northern pine forests of home. But it started to thin, and he caught up to you as you slowed down, your head swiveling back and forth, inhaling for the panthers. Steve brushed up alongside of you, lifting his muzzle to locate the Panthers, when he caught sight of shadows moving in the jungle canopy. A loud roar made you tilt up as well, ear perked as the smaller of the two started dropping down till she came sailing through the air and landing lightly, she pawed gently at You, enticing you into a playful chase. You immediately sprinted for Steve’s side, and he settled in. Steve watched his Little Wolf and the Panther chase one another around vine covered trees and dart under giant leaves dripping water. First You would be on Shuris side, nipping at her shoulder when she would spin nimbly and tackle you till you raced with a quick burst, outpacing the Panther, back and forth you two twisted and turned to get away from the other. 

T’Challa jumped down alongside Steve, kneading the ground before sinking down, flicking his tail back and forth, watching as well. The Alphas head moved back and forth, never breaking eye contact, and when the two of you faced off, you growled and Shuri roared back at you, testing each other.

It alarmed the Alpha, who moved to get up, and T’Challa beat him to it, giving his own sharp roar calling his sister back when he sensed the Alpha next to him getting uneasy. Shuri snarled back at him, headbutting You in a goodbye before leaping back up into the canopy. The King bowed his head to the Alpha before joining his sister. Leaving the two of you alone. 

You sensed your Alphas unease at the moment, and you padded up to him, brushing up under his chin and nibbling at him to settle him back down. But he nudged at you, pushing you down the path you two had been exploring earlier, ready to keep you two moving. You both fell in an easy stride together this time as the jungle floor opened up, mossy and green. Everything seemed to cool off under the canopy, both the wolves comfortable. Little animals scattered, insects buzzing around with bright colors, that were a constant interest to you as you would snap at them and send them flying again to escape. Soon the Jungle gave way to tall grass, and the sound of animals surrounded you in the dark. 

Keeping close to your Alpha, you both ran up on a herd of elephants, their long trunks reaching out as you both stretched your necks, sniffing at them before leaping away when they tried to touch you. When one stomped her foot in warning, Steve had enough, and steered you away from the herd. Weaving back and forth through the grass, you both skirted low to the ground past Rhinos grazing, lifting their heads to watch you both pass by. Neither of you wanted to feel the edge of that horn, so decided to give a wider circle around. Steve was sure to keep himself between You and the massive beasts. They came up on leaping gazelles racing away from them, and both of you couldnt help but give chase to these. You both gave up after a few minutes, the deer like creatures much faster than you two could ever be, even Sam and Pietro would have a hard time pacing along with them. Once it was apparent neither of you were continuing, they set back to grazing. 

There was only one part of the run that turned Steve uneasy. They happened to stumble across a pack of Hyenas scavenging a carcass, and they all took interest in your unique scent. Their laughter echoing around the wolves in a menacing way. Steve nudged at you to lead you away from them when one skirted close to snap its jaws and push you two to back up. Steve turned on the pack of wild Hyenas, stepping over the carcass and started to descend on the two of you. Steve snarled deeply, the fur along his spine raising and his ruff bristling, turning his focus on the Hyenas Alpha Female as she stalked closer. Steve's fangs flashed in the dark, and his demands made her cower in surprise at the force coming from him. The rest of her pack stalling seeing their Alpha lower before him, to a male most of all. The laughter started to grow high pitched with unease at the situation. You ducked around the bristling Alpha, ears pinned back, rumbling back at her. The Hyena sensed they weren't just ordinary animals to be chased off. Wet dragging breaths overcame the scent of blood and decay from the carcass she had been feasting on, filling her lungs with ice cold sensations, unlike anything her kind had experienced before. They were similar to the Panthers that prowled their lands, except they weren't. Missing from the shifters was the muskiness of the jungle. Their scent was sharper, it stung her nose with a cold sensation. Even their bodies were not made for streaking across the sun soaked plains or traveling in heavy leaf cover. Too big, too much fur, muzzles long with fangs, yet not made to rip into thick animal hides like theirs was. They were just too different, and she didn't want to test what they would do to her. Shaking her head to clear their scent from her senses, she started sinking further back from the growling Alpha’s reach. Her laughing bark sent the wild hyenas scattering away, breaking their attack formation. Retreating back towards the carcass, once they fell back, she skirted away, out of Steve’s sight. 

Once she was gone, you brushed against Steve to ease him back to you, and the two of you turned away from where the hyenas were cackling out of sight, fighting once more among themselves over the carcass they had claimed. You headed back towards the jungle, avoiding the rest of the plains occupants. Which Steve was relieved, another reason for them to return home. At home, the forests belonged to them. There were no worries in what was lurking out of sight. In Wakanda it was all different, they were not the beast at the very top. Deciding it was enough for you both tonight, when you gave a wide mouthed, fang flashing yawn, you both returned to the palace, and made it up to your room. 

Once inside and the door closed, Steve backed you onto the bed, and settled over you, covering you in soft bites and whispered words pressed against your skin. “Are you tired Little One?” he let his tongue drag between your breasts while he lowered down your body slightly. Your hands roamed over his back, and rubbed the back of his neck while you arched into his mouth where he sucked a nipple into his warmth, lashing his tongue over the peak and then rolling you gently between his teeth. 

You hummed in satisfaction, letting your body roll underneath his while you turned your gaze down at Steve loving on your breasts, his hand had the other covered, kneading it lightly and using his thumb to tease the tip till it hardened. “Not too tired Alpha.” you admitted and he lifted his head with a grin. Leaning up to kiss you deeply while using a hand to spread your thighs open, in which you curled your legs around his waist. 

“That's good, cause I haven't stopped thinking about you wrapped around me like this all evening.” He said while he claimed you with a roll of his hips, filling you with him as his hands weaved with yours. It was soft and slow, taking his time to bring you to the point you were pleading softly against his shoulder for a release. Steve’s hand cupped the back of your head while kissing your temple, his hips starting to move faster in and out of you with a grunt of effort. It was quick when your pussy started to squeeze him and milk him, ready for his knot to lock you to him. Steve brought  you to the point of howling his name and clutching yourself around him, clinging to him and not able to let go. You settled on his chest, and let the silence bring a sense of calm and peace over both of you. When you two finally fell asleep, you were sprawled over his chest and sated. There was no need for words to end the day together. 

The dawn came to find you two still tangled around one another. 

T’Challa, Shuri and the Queen all waited for the two of you, the jet ready to be boarded. It was a teary goodbye for you and Shuri, growing rather close to the young woman in your time here, Steve firmly shook T’Challas hand with a thank you and bowed to the Queen. You let your hand slide up Steves' back as he rose once more, and you let your head lower, a flash of the back of your neck showing her your respect. 

“Thank you, everyone for your help. Should you ever need anything from us, please let us know. My Pack, and myself especially are indebted to you.” Steve said truthfully, and T’Challa smiled. 

“I'm sure we will see each other again Alpha, Y/N, have a safe travel home. Steve, I'm sure you are familiar with flying?” 

“Of course, we will have it sent back as soon as possible.” 

“That is all I ask.”

Finishing with goodbyes, you both stepped on the jet. You couldn't help the look of awe that slid over your face while Steve immediately fell into the Pilots chair, while you buckled into the co pilots. You watched as he leaned forward to flick on switches and the engine hummed to life. “Ready for home Little One?” He asked as his hands settled on the steering column. 

You wriggled in your seat and leaned in the window waving while speaking. “Absolutely, take us home Alpha.” 

When Steve heard what he wanted to har, he shifted the column, and the jet started lifting off. You squealed a bit as your heart went into your throat, laughing at the sensation. Steve grinned over at your reaction, taking your hand while he pointed the jet in the direction needed, and let it speed up. The flight home was filled with you questioning the dash of the aircraft, and Steve doing his best to teach you how it all worked. 

Of course T’Challa didn't send you all home empty handed, and once Steve landed the Jet just outside of the compound, and all the Pack came to greet Steve, you happened to stay inside a few more minutes. Exploring further, you happened to stumble on several crates in the back. “Steve? Come look at this.” 

Ducking his head back in, Steve went to find you, and located you kneeling next to one of the crates, trying to find how it opened. Steve was quick to pry open a top, and it was just filled with different items Wakanda specialized in. “Hey Sam, get some people up here, we come bearing gifts.” 

Fruity wine, dried food, clothing, weapons, if T’Challa could send it he did, and the rest of the afternoon was sorting through it together. 

Finally that evening found you pouring a glass of the wine for Sara at the island in Steve’s kitchen, telling Sara and Sam all about Wakanda. Steve now and then piped up, filling in the time you were unconscious to the world.

Once the questions died down, you cleared your throat. “Has anyone heard from Bucky, Clint, Wanda, and Pietro?” 

Sara sipped from her wine glass and shook her head, Sam at her side did the same motion. “Nothing yet. But Natasha was right out on their trail as soon as she got back. You know she wont stop till she finds something.” 

Steve poured himself a taste of the wine, and handed it to you afterwards to finish off. “She will probably check in a few days, let us know what's going on.” Glancing at the time and then outside, he nipped at your shoulder. “Ready for the Full Moon Run Little One?” 

You tipped your head back to drain the last swallow and set the glass down, hoping off the stool at the bar. 

“Yup, we will see you two out there.” You said to Sam and Sara, who waved you two off to give you a chance to shift in private. Racing out the door, you leaped off the porch, twisting on your toes to watch Steve, who paused to shed his shirt, grinning to himself at your enthusiasm. 

<We got lucky.> Your Little Wolf crooned, admiring the Alphas fit form as he started to stalk towards you, undoing his belt to slide out of the pants. 

That we did. 

You started to shed clothes, dancing just out of his reach till you started to run away, tossing your panties at him last before you fell into your wolf form, howling at him to hurry up. Steve made a show of inhaling against them before stuffing them in the back of his jeans pocket, quick to yank them off and toss them back towards his porch while you sprinted away, howling for him to come join you

<Welcome Home Steve. Now let's go get her before she is gone!> 

Welcome Home indeed. 

He shifted and paused at the tree line, his howl bursting through the night, signaling the start of the run, and he followed after You while you weaved among the trees, leading him deeper into their running grounds, back home where they belonged. 

[im-justso-bored]

Week 3 of clown theories and analysis

S3E03 - Meetings Have Biscuits

OH BOY. what a lot to unpack here. so im gonna save that Scene™ for last because i’ll never get to everything else if i don’t. i’m actually having to rewatch while writing this review because honestly what even happened other than The Bus Scene™??

The Tuning Fork Kills - i’m not a big fan of these kills, they were so unrealistic lol everything else about this scene was gold though. V going back and forth between the maid and the baby was hilarious. im disappointed we couldn’t actually see V steal the baby. does V even know how to properly hold a baby lol

I Have All My Best Thoughts In The Bath - Such a Carolyn thing to do here lol idk about anyone else but when Eve came into the bathroom, i got so excited, you can just tell when she walks through the door that she’s back to her old self. also this might be an unpopular opinion but i like Mo. i saw some posts about how unusual it is that Eve trusts the Bitter Pill team so quickly but i think it’s less a matter of trust and more a matter of resources. both Bitter Pill and MI6 need something from the other and Eve surely can’t do it all herself. Also each group is invested with Kenny working at Bitter Pill and then of course, Carolyn being invested as his mother. i dont think either group is really happy about the arrangement but they’re working with it to achieve a common goal

I’m Not Ready - i love how Dasha just casually puts the baby in the trash and literally no one notices lol. I’m actually really surprised that V didn’t hop on the next flight to London after processing that Eve is alive. i guess that really shows just how much V actually feels when it comes to Eve that she LITERALLY HAS TO SORT OUT HER FEELINGS BEFORE SEEING EVE, she’s such a gay mess and im here for it

6 Million Euros - so im a little confused by how willing Konstantin was to loan Charles 6 million euro that he doesn’t have. it seems that they’re old friends based on their conversation about their families but it sill seems a bit strange to me how Konstantin agreed to give him the money. Also if V was tasked with killing Charles, wouldn’t Konstantin know this if he’s supposedly still working for The Twelve? so why go through the trouble of looking for the money if he was just going to die anyway? This makes me believe that Konstantin is working for someone else entirely. what do you guys think?

Roman Centurion - can we talk about how V is literally everyone who has ever gotten their heartbroken? she gets to London fully expecting to see Eve and instead of putting on La Villanelle, she decides to go for a “powerful” scent to show Eve just how much she’s moving up in the world and has “moved on”. she’s so dramatic 😂

Poland - Niko is moving further and further out of Eve’s life and as much as i want it to be Eve who is done with him, i’ll take it at this point because finally.

Who Doesn’t Answer Their Phone On A Stakeout?! - what a GREAT scene. Other than The Bus Scene™, i think this is my favorite scene of season 3 so far. This scene really brought me back to season 1 with the music, the tension, the coldness and calm with how V carried out the kill. 10/10. this is also my favorite kill of season 3 so far. everything about this scene was perfect. This scene was also a great tribute to Killing Eve: No Tomorrow! the tension was sooooo good, this scene actually gave me chills. like i was pretty confident that Carolyn wasn’t going to die but they had me second guessing myself. also the way Mo reached out for Carolyn and was so relieved when she opened her eyes! Both of their performances here was incredible. Especially when Carolyn went home. We’re seeing so many different sides of Carolyn this season and Fiona is nailing all of them!

I’m Wearing Power - I love Villanelle and Konstantin’s relationship so much, i totally thought V was going to say something about how Eve kissed her and Konstantin would be the disapproving best friend who has told her countless times to stay away from her “ex”. im really curious to see where Villanelle’s interest in finding her family stems from. she said that in order to have power, you need knowledge and that’s why she wants to find her family which i believe is partly true but i also think there’s another reason. we’ve seen her having more feelings this season like when she was empathizing with Felix and then when watching the news with the father and the baby. Maybe she wants to know what that feels like? To have someone so happy to see you again after thinking you were gone? maybe she saw herself as the baby? Her family thinks she’s dead and maybe she’s thinking she’ll get that same reaction when returning to them. if that’s the case, that will reunion will end badly for her. im excited to see how much episode 4 dives into this storyline.

Admit it, Eve. You Wish I Was Here - okay so this scene was just as gay as The Bus Scene™, if not more so. Eve went through so many emotions here. Confusion as to where the voice was coming from, realization when finding the bear, anger at the thought of V toying with her again, and then ending with just pure fucking longing and acceptance as she replayed the voice over and over again. she’s so gay and i’m so glad she’s finally giving into it

The Bus Scene™ - it’s been 18 hours and i still haven’t processed that this actually happened. we were all satisfied with them beating the shit out of each other but they really went above and beyond with this scene. everything about this scene was perfect. the way Villanelle walked up Eve just radiated confidence and big dyke energy and i think i speak for all of us when i say, Jodie could step on me and call me a piece of shit and i would thank her. Eve was ON SIGHT and I STAN. Eve’s reaction was absolutely perfect. I love just how completely she caught V off guard and got a couple of hits in before V regained her composure and ABSOLUTELY TOOK CONTROL OF EVE AND MANEUVERED HER AROUND THAT BUS WHILE SMILING. Like godDAMN, that was sexy, the power struggle between the two of them is just perfect. and the wAY V FUCKING HOPPED OVER THE SEATS AND SO EFFORTLESSLY STRADDLED EVE. i don’t think i’ve ever been more attracted to anything else. and in the midst of all of this, V had the audacity to say “Smell me, Eve”, i love how unpredictable she is because that sure as hell caught me off guard but at the same time, sexy as hell, only V could make something so outrageous sound so sexy. and the fact that Eve kissed her is sooo important. V was never going to do it first, not after Eve stabbed her and i’m so glad the decision was made to have Eve initiate the kiss. it wouldn’t mean as much to us as fans and to V if V were to do it first. I love how all of V’s confidence and “power” just evaporated when Eve kissed her, we stan a soft Villanelle! and the way they paused to look at each other before EVE HEADBUTTS HER WHICH IS JUST PERFECT. Everything about this scene is so in character for both of them. As outrageous as this scene may seem for anyone from the outside looking in, it was fucking perfect for these characters and everything we needed for a first kiss from them. i’m really excited to see them together again later in the season. i’m really curious to see how or if this changes the dynamic for them. look out for a fanfic about this soon, i think that’s the only way im going to be able to fully process this

OVERALL - i really enjoyed this episode, the tension was just perfect, the plot is picking up and really seems to be going somewhere which im really looking forward to. as of right now, this season could really go anywhere and im really excited to see how it all plays out. i cant believe that after next week we’ll be halfway through season 3, it’s all going by so fast! thanks for letting me rant!

[comradekatsu]

“you’re dead to me.”

“I don’t know what you’ve been told,” Deku started, spitting the words out with malice, “See, I am not your enemy.” “Oi, what the fuck are you talking about, ner-” “But if there’s one thing that I know, it’s that you’re not a friend of me.”

a bkdk fic inspired by dead to me by kali uchis

word count: 1.9K

CW: anger issues, angst, not a happy ending, cursing, romantic if you squint

A/N: this is my first fic on here! i guess we could start off with a bang, huh? i also posted this to ao3, under the username greenolivetree. im looking forward to writing more in the future! i’ll probably do both ships and x reader stuff :) and maybe later today i’ll post a get to know me, haha. enjoy!

Bakugo can admit when he goes too far. He’s brash, stubborn as fuck, angry, and loud, but if he fucks up too much, he can recognize that. Perks of having human empathy mix in with your anger issues, you know when you’re in the wrong in the middle of an argument. His friends don’t mind, they know him. Kirishima would pull him aside and make him breathe. Kaminari will whisper something about not needing to prove himself all the time and to drop it. Mina and Sero deal with the aftermath of Bakugou blowing up on someone. However, sometimes, his friends aren’t there.

They had a plan. When given ten minutes of prep time, they drafted an intricate plan that would take less than thirty minutes to complete. It was sprung on Class 1-A, and anything that was not planned set Bakugo on edge. He already had Kaminari tell him to calm the fuck down the second he heard Aizawa explain the mission. The two were halfway through their plan, and Deku tripped on a piece of debris.

“Can you get it fucking together, Deku? Damn it,” He snapped, the tension in his chest building bigger and bigger by the second. If he didn’t say anything, it would physically pain him. When he’s angry and does nothing, it felt like a python squeezing his heart. Bakugou usually resorted to things like breaking hangers in his closet, but it was training, and there was nothing to break. “God, you can’t be this fucking incompetent. How’d you even make it this far in life?”

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He panicked, racking his brain for something to say that would soften the blow but not compromise his ego. Bakugo couldn’t come up with any. He froze, the pressure in his chest increasing, trying to think of anything to say that wasn’t harsh. His mind wasn’t merciful. All the ash-blond could think of was how easy, how fucking simple their mission was and Midoriya kept ruining his plan. It wasn’t fucking rocket science, so why couldn’t he get it? Was Deku trying to sabotage Bakugou? Why wasn’t he following the fucking plan? Katsuki just wanted the thoughts to stop, so he could say something--anything, anything that could not make him look like a vile human being for lashing out.

All Katsuki could do was stand dumbly in the middle of the training. They sent him and Midoriya to a makeshift building, paired together, with the instruction of saving hostages. The kidnappers were Eraserhead and All Might, with the hostages being general study course kids who wanted the extra credit. Midoriya looked at him, stonefaced. This was an unnatural reaction for Deku, who usually just rolls his eyes and tells him to focus on the mission. He was simply standing still, staring at Bakugo with wide eyes. Not the wide eyes of someone who was scared of him, no, someone who was tired. Exasperated. Exhausted by his actions.

“I don’t know what you’ve been told,” Deku started, spitting the words out with malice, “See, I am not your enemy.”

“Oi, what the fuck are you talking about, ner-”

“But if there’s one thing that I know, it’s that you’re not a friend of me.” Bakugo stopped breathing for a second. He went too far. What did Kirishima say about breathing? He tensed up, balling his hands into fists to relieve the rage that was burning inside of him. Kirishima said to breathe in for eight, hold for four, out for eight. He could do that. Breathe. Bakugo can breathe.

He considered Midoriya a friend these past few months. They’ve grown close, been nicknamed The Wonder Duo. They haven’t had a sole mission together before, and of course, that’s when Bakugo couldn’t control himself. High pressure, a low consequence for snapping. He just assumed that something like this could be looked past. Bakugo knows, when he’s not clouded with rage, that it is not anyone’s responsibility to cater to him. Bakugo has to hold back, not others. Sometimes it gets too much too fast and he just… can’t hold back. This was one of those times, as he stared into the emerald eyes he’s grown to be fond of. His childhood best friend, who’d fought and crawled his way into a soft spot in Bakugo’s heart, even if he didn’t understand Bakugo as Kirishima or Kaminari did. Deku was still someone he’d cared for. A little too much. 

Bakugo just wished anger had a filter. No matter the closeness, anyone was subject to it at one point or another. It made him weak, it made him cruel. People thought he was heartless. Maybe he deserved it. He didn’t like being vulnerable, only a few people at few times get to see him like that.  Calm down.

Bakugo breathed out. “What are you talking about?” 

Deku just stared at him. It was then Katsuki noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks, he hadn’t realized because his face was neutral, lips pressed in a line. Midoriya’s tears gave away what he was feeling. He took off his mask that hung from his neck, holding it gently in his hands. Midoriya’s eyes tore away from Bakugo’s to stare at it for a moment, contemplating. Bakugo’s chest was close to collapsing in on itself, anger inflating like a balloon. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted to pop the balloon, to get his mind to stop racing with insults and berating comments and intrusive thoughts for two fucking minutes so he could keep Deku from saying what he’s going to next. It doesn’t work that way.

He remembered the first time he realized that this was a problem. It was after Bakugo had fought those fourth graders (and won), but still went home with that now-familiar aching feeling in his chest. Bakugo ignored his mother and stormed up into his room, slamming the door shut. He replayed the scene over and over in his mind until his Quirk activated and suddenly he was punching a hole in his wall and the entire drywall crumbled where he stood. Mitsuki was thankfully outside his door, quick to take him and run before any debris hit him. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” She asked, softly caressing the dust off of his face. Mitsuki wasn’t mad, just concerned.

“They bumped into me, I didn’t bump into them. They bumped into me, I promise, why would they say that,” he mumbled, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Baby,” Mitski whispered, wiping the last of the dirt on his face. No hug. She stood up and walked away from him. “I need to call the police. We need to get you a new wall.”

Bakugo shifted back to reality as Deku cleared his throat with passive-aggression. He hadn’t meant to zone out. Bakugo had a tendency to dissociate when angry, to the point where he’d be lost in his daydreams in an attempt to calm down. This can last from minutes to days. Usually, Kirishima or Kaminari grounded him.

“Kacchan,” Midoriya whispered, realizing that Bakugo wasn’t listening, “You… you just don’t care… you… you…!”

“I what? Come on!” Now that he was fully alert, Bakugo was yelling at this point. “Spit it the fuck out! Come on, Deku, if you’re so big and fucking tough, say it!” He couldn’t control his words. Katsuki just wanted to shut himself up. “Not a friend to me… tch. Oi, at least I’m not so fucking sensitive I cry at a single fucking sente-”

“You’re dead to me!” Midoriya screamed, louder than Bakugo had heard before. His voice cracked on every word, denting his mask from how hard he gripped it. 

The balloon in his chest popped.

“You’re obsessed, you keep comparing yourself to me. I’ve never treated you like you treat me, Kacchan! You don’t treat Kirishima, Kaminari, Todoroki, no one! You’re so threatened by me, you think I’m out to get you. I’ve done nothing but love you for years, and you still treat me like I’m nothing! I can’t handle you anymore. Just because you can’t be fucking normal and nice to others, doesn’t give you the excuse to be a bad friend! For what? Class rank? You’re obsessed, just let it go,” Deku said, closing his eyes tight. It was as if he’d been thinking this for a long time. “You’re dead to me.”

Bakugo was suddenly hyper-aware of everything around him. He could hear every creak in the building, the hum of the AC, the way Midoriya’s feet shifted on the floor. His costume was too tight, too fucking tight, Bakugo felt like he couldn’t breathe. His wrists ached by being weighed down, something that doesn’t usually happen. He could smell the dust in the air, the fresh coat of paint that they’d put on the walls for the training. The ringing in his ears grew to the front of his head and it was too much, it was all too much. He put his fists to his neck, squeezing slightly.

“You’re just saying that,” he grumbled.

“I’m not somebody you know.”

“Stop it!” He yelled, hitting his neck with his fists. Angry tears fell down his face, but he was quick to rub them off. “You don’t mean that! I do know you, I do! Fuck!” Katsuki reached out his hand to grab onto Midoriya’s arm. 

“Could  you just leave me alone?” Midoriya yanked back, throwing his mask at the taller boy. He looked up to a camera watching them. “Exam over. We failed. I’m going to the dorms. Let me out.” 

“You can’t just fucking fail me! Over that?” What Bakugo wanted to say was that he was sorry, he wanted to make it up to him, he knows he fucking sucks-- but nothing of the sort came out of his mouth. “Don’t you dare fucking open up any doors!” He yelled to the ceiling, not really sure who he was yelling to. As long as it wasn’t Midoriya. “Fuck you! Don’t fucking fail me! Stop it! Stop!” Heavy tears pounded on his cheeks like rain.

“Let me out!” Midoriya said once more, and a voice sounded over the intercom. 

“Well… we can’t just keep students hostage. Follow my voice and you’ll be taken to the exit,” Gang Orca said. His voice was taken aback like no student had done this before. Especially not in the 1-A class. They usually just fought through their problems. 

“Don’t go. Please, Izuku, please,” Bakugo begged, his voice small. He didn’t feel mad anymore. Bakugo messed everything up. If he could control himself, it wouldn’t get to this. If he could just apologize, everything would be okay. But he can’t, and he has to deal with the consequences. One of the only times his mother consolidated him for his problems, the only piece of advice she gave him, was that no one owed him their patience. He has to overcome it himself, because she won’t take him to a therapist. How could the future number one hero have a mental health record? Bakugo had to deal with it. And, he was doing a horrid fucking job at it.

Midoriya smoothed out his hero costume and walked towards the door. The green-haired boy turned around right before he left.

“You’re dead to me, Bakugo.” Midoriya’s voice held some eery form of finality. He spun on his heel and left the building, leaving Katsuki alone. If Katsuki sobbed alone until he had to be forced by All Might to leave for the next pair, no one had to know.

[pbsc]

I was on my phone one evening when i discovered a new blog on tumblr, there were so many pictures posted, lovely women all at various stages of pregnancy, every one of them glowing, smiling, or making silly faces, they all looked so happy, i wanted that! As i decided to follow the blog i noticed a link under one of the images labeled “wish this were you?” i only hesitated for a second before clicking the link. A few seconds later an a new image loaded, a beautiful blonde haired girl, wearing an oversized white dress shirt and little more, she must have been at least 8 months along, because even the oversized shirt was unbuttoned to show her belly, but still she smiled happily as she snapped the picture of herself. The image was captioned “delivery 1 hour, return 24 hours” what could that mean? i wasnt really sure but i followed the blog anyways.

As soon as i clicked off of the image I felt my back begin to ache, i reached back to rub it hoping to relieve some tension, I twisted my shoulders feeling them too begin to be sore, “what is going on?” i looked around as i noticed the room was getting bigger, or was i getting smaller? I stood up and could now see more clearly that i was indeed getting smaller, by the time i stopped shrinking i was maybe 5′5 if i was lucky. “what the heck is happening to me?” i walked over my mirror and looked at myself, i looked different, not only was i smaller but my shoulders were narrower, and my hips were wider. Suddenly i felt my body begin to adjust again, as mass from my arms moved to my hips and thighs, softening out every edge i had until i was smooth, and rather curvy. my mind and heart were racing, what was happening to me? a strange warm sensation spread through my face as i watched it changing before my eyes, my once blue eyes turned brown as my eyelashes grew and my nose shrank, my lips became more pronounced as my cheekbones lowered and my hair changed to a blonde.

the face i now saw in the mirror was no longer my own “Im becoming the girl from the photo!” realization hit me as the voice that came from my lips was much higher. slowly the warm sensation moved downwards to my chest, where breasts began to swell outwards pressing out against my t shirt, stopping promptly after they had reached a solid D. Again the sensation moved, further down, between my legs. I could only watch as the bulge in my pants disappeared leaving the figure in the mirror fully female. slowly my clothes changed too, leaving me wearing the same white dress shirt i had seen the woman wearing earlier. as my boxers and pants changed into a bra and panties that cradled my new form well.

“that only leaves one thing” i said still trying to get used to my new voice, and just as i said it the warmth moved back up to my now flat and smooth belly slowly began to round out, a tiny bulge pushing behind my belly button. growing larger and larger with each minute it didn’t take much longer for my belly button to pop outwards as my belly began to look exactly like the photo had.

And there she was, I mean there I was. standing there looking at myself in the mirror, but it was someone elses body. i though back to the picture and its caption. “delivery one hour, return 24 hours” i quickly checked my phone, it had been an hour since i saw that post “i guess that is what it meant by delivery” i laughed and placed a hand on my new belly “thank goodness it didnt mean you!” i looked down at my new body “i guess that means that ill only be this way for 24 hours?” i turned back to the mirror to look myself over again “all i can say is that this is going to be a fun 24 hours”

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Thanks for reading! this is the ‘pilot’ of sorts for this series of transformation captions that i will post on this blog! if you would like to see more, follow! if you like what you see, heart it!

if you have any images you would like added to the list of images that get randomly picked from pm me with a link or submit it!

---

wish this were you?

http://shorturl.at/opqrF

(the link above will send you to a random image on one of my other blogs, enjoy!)

[chazzfox]

SO many thoughts on Frozen 2

So I've been doing a lot of thinking on Frozen 2 after reading a lot of other fan ideas, reviews, etc, and rewatching the first movie and basically obsessing myself into an interesting state of mind. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY. I accidentally wrote out a long, long, LONG post so uh, congrats if you read it. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SURE.

1. My biggest thought by far is in regards to people saying that Elsa found herself in the first movie, and why must she struggle through who she is again? Well...because you don't stop finding yourself, and especially at a young age. I'm 33. I think I got past hurdles in expressing myself and accepting who I am, everything from what were weird interests (to me) and even my own sexuality, three of four damn times. It was annoying. And fascinating. And each time there were deep emotions and investment in it.

Elsa found in the first movie she's not a dangerous monster and that she could exist with and love her sister. That's huge, don't get me wrong! But the anxiety was still there and we still see traces of it in the second movie. It didn't up and vanish no matter how many snow toys she might make children or how many times she skated with Anna. And with that kind of high anxiety, and after years and years and YEARS of locking herself away, she was just at the start of things I'd say by the time the first Frozen ended.

It's totally reasonable, imo, that down the road after finding some acceptance in herself and Anna, she would be wondering WHY she is what she is, where she came from, as there's so much mystery in her life. Her parents left her feeling guilty, lonely, ironically powerless, locked up, and with no damn answers for herself. She needs to find herself.

Arguably, so does Anna. Again, I can make similar arguments for her, lonely in the first movie, not much contact with others, striving so hard to be close to her sister. She achieved the latter admirably, and so her journey to find who she is with access to more of the world is a big deal. She always wants to open a door. And she wants to go through each one with Elsa, which is something that had to be handled at least a little.

Again, you never really stop growing, discovering, and questioning. Elsa may have found a huge, huge part of herself, found why she is there and who she is, but I'm sure she will still struggle a little with her new place in the world. This brings me to another subject -

2. Elsa and Anna now separated. There seems to be a lot of division on this topic, and I get it. I didn't really want them apart either. They really do belong in each other's company. And a note, I don't ship Elsa and Anna, so maybe I've lost some of you here ahaha (I don't really ship anyone though). I love their close cuddly sister relationship a lot and felt they were absolutely robbed of it for so long which is probably WHY they often hug, hold hands, touch each other, are somehow right with each other.

However...at least for the time being I think it's also important for their growth as characters. Elsa and Anna both care for Arendelle, but Elsa didn't feel she was 'meant' to be there, so to force herself there for her sister could be damaging when understandably, she would want to understand more about the spirits and the forest that gifted her mother with her. She is a part of the forest, of the Ahtohallan. And to force herself into a role she isn't dedicated to wouldn't be in Arendelle's best interest, so she wouldn't want that either. Elsa has shown she needs that understanding of her role, needs to be where she feels right, somewhere that speaks to her, and for now that is in the forest with the Northuldra people.

Anna loves Arendelle, loves the people, and to ask her to stay in a place where she doesn't belong wouldn't be right either. Sure, part of probably just nodded and said yes because Elsa proposed the split, but Anna also learned that she can do what can be done without her sister. Thinking her sister was dead, she still put on foot in front of the other and achieved her goal of destroying the dam. I do believe for now just the knowledge of knowing Elsa is alive and thriving is enough for her to feel happy.

They also see each other. That much is left clear to us and it's not a long journey for Elsa lol. Probably not for Anna either when Elsa can guide wind, earth and water to help. ...Fire too but yea lol.

They are apart just enough. Elsa can still drop in and have Anna cuddle her to sleep while Kristoff does...idk...talks with Sven. For as many cuddle nights as I imagine those two have had, Kristoff is a pretty chill dude.

3. The parents. Hooboy the parents. A very valid criticism is that Elsa and Anna's parents treated Elsa totally mcfreaking WRONG and yet so much centers around them, and then suddenly Elsa is dueting with her momma in Ahtohallan and crying.

Yea there's some confusing emotions going on there.

The girls loved their parents a lot regardless of if they really messed up. I am sure Elsa didn't know how to feel but didn't want to lose them as she already felt alone and hidden. The topic has come up that her dad knew the forest, her mom was FROM THE FREAKIN PLACE, so how did they mishandle so badly?

Panic, I think. I view it as a lot of panic, for many reasons. Anna being hurt was the primary one, but I wondered if they thought it could indeed lead to the forest waking up and causing trouble. They didn't expect magic outside the forest, didn't know what impact it could have and Iduna never exactly counted on having Elsa as she was.

I don't think they were bad people. Just unprepared and I kind of think this is how it went down with Ahtohallan as well. I posted about this before but I feel like...her parents weren't able to cross, not even her mom, because of how they squandered their gift. They took something wonderful and locked her away, made her conceal and hide from the spirits that wanted to connect with her. So when they decided to sail off and find answers and leave the girls alone, the spirits said "nope, you messed up, you don't get to come in here" and down went their ship.

But to complete Elsa there had to be something, they had to connect her with her mother's heritage and tie her to her meaning in the world. So, Ahtohallan showed her Iduna. Her parents loved her and if there's one major theme in these movies and characters it is the power of love along with self acceptance. Love is what brought Elsa as she was into the world! And that strong emotion and realization resonated, so we see Iduna as a large key.

Whoosh, Im getting tired, and I'm pretty sure I have more to say...but I'll craft that more later.

Some of my leftover thoughts right now are pretty short...I feel Elsa was displayed as ace, but that really depends on the viewer anyway. As much as I would love to see Honeymaren and Elsa, the brief snippets in the movie don't do it for me, but I am sort of relieved to see Elsa having a friend. She deserves a friend that isn't her sister or her sister's fiance or a...snowman. I'm not sure she really tried to bond with anyone in Arendelle, being that she was still sorting her life out after the events of the first movie.

But maybe there will be some more releases of official material, and we'll see. I just hope some of the absolute hate for Kristoff and Anna stops. I'm not overly into it, it's just kind of a boring dynamic to me right now, but not every romantic relationship is super exciting and stuff. They fit well and we see that Kristoff's first words to her after being lost in the woods are "I'm here. What do you need?" He's a good guy, stop hatin' on him.

Oh! That brings me to another thought though - I read a couple of posts where others felt he interrupted Elsa and Anna's moment at the end of the movie. I couldn't disagree more! Elsa didn't display any negative emotion toward it. I think she was happy for her sister, wanting her as happy as she could be in that moment, and the proposal added right in. Anna had felt alone and at her rope's end in the cave, then she got her sister back and after running off on him sort of, Kristoff proposing. Elsa saw her sister elated. And Anna got to have her sister as part of that momentous life event!

Besides, Kristoff is one of those Elsa counts as everyone she's ever loved within those walls. When they met again she embraced him too. I think Elsa was happy to have family again, have it fuller and to know someone she trusts will be there with Anna as she rules. Kristoff's a silly character and it's hard not to write him off when he's alongside such bright stars as Elsa and Anna, but he has a good, solid role. He belongs and so did that part of the moment.

Ugh, and I thought I was tired before...

Guess this is where I wrap this up!

Please, if any of you want to talk about this, even to disagree, don't hesitate to drop an ask or message. I don't want anyone to think I'm actively crapping on their interpretation - this is how it came across to me and after my third viewing I was finally able to get this written. If you didn't like the ending, that's okay, and if you ship Elsa and Anna, Kristoff and Ryder, Elsa and Honeymaren, Olaf and Gale, you do you and follow your shippy heart.

As for me I'mma hit post and get some cake.

[binary-colour]

Falsettos UK time

So I just went to see the UK production of Falsettos last night and kind of wanted to word vomit all my thoughts and key parts of it onto a post so that I can preserve the amazingness in my mind for as long as possible.

Basically, I’ve been obsessed with this show for a while now and it lived up to every expectation possible. The cast were incredible, the singing was outstanding and my mum sobbed solidly through the second act.

FYI - we had the male cover Matthew McKenna as Whizzer (I was a bit worried at first but he was incredible)

This is v v long so read at own risk ig. Also, spoilers!

Four Jews was portraying Jason’s birth (like, the ‘slavery’ was Trina going into labour). It worked really well actually, especially for people who had no idea what the show was about (ie 90% of the audience lmao) It was also Trina in it more than Jason, but there was this hilarious bit when they did the ‘I’m Mendel!’ etc. section and Trina went ‘I’m-‘ and got cut off Also Whizzer piggybacked Jason, my heart

Tight Knit Family - as you’d expect I guess, Daniel’s voice was 👌 Also Marvin did ‘friend’ in airquotes and Whizzer did this mega eye roll lmao

Love is Blind - I guess there wasn’t much else different, just that they all stood in the photo frames when Trina sung about them which was a v nice touch ¯\_(ツ)_/

Thrill of First Love - Whizzer was,, a lot more argumentative than I expected I guess? Like, almost a bit aggressive? But overall it was great, they were so snarky and less sexual than the revival (which my asexual ass didn’t mind) apart from one reaaaach. They also had v good chemistry to say it wasn’t Oliver performing.

Marvin At The Psychiatrist - the staging was pretty similar to revival. Whizzer was watching from the top and he made all these offended faces when Marvin and Mendel were talking about him (when they said he was ‘smarmy’ he did this Offended Gay expression it was great). Then Trina started unbuttoning her shirt in Pt. 2 and Mendel got really flustered, it was wild. Everyone was dying from laughter. Also, ‘it’s queer Mr Marvin… sorry, it’s strange Mr Marvin’ deserves its own shoutout

My Father’s A Homo/Everyone Tells Jason to See A Psychiatrist - Elliot is a star, what more can I say. His voice is soo good as well. When Whizzer arrived Trina and him did this 😒 face at each other.

I’m Breaking Down - I thought no-one could come close to Stephanie’s iconic performance in the revival, but Laura rocked it. She was setting the table for Mendel coming, and it had this mega chaotic energy where she threw the bananas around and screamed ‘shIT’ when they fell onto the floor. For the ‘fulfill his needs’ bit she really aggressively ripped the top of the banana off and peeled it lmao. Also, she was drinking from the wine bottle for one of the choruses and humming, it was amazing. 

Jason’s Therapy - Jason was definitely the most mature one in this scene haha. After Mendel did his first dance sequence, Jason just put a hand on his shoulder to stop him and sighed before he said the ‘is this therapy?’ bit.  Marvin and Trina sat drinking at the side of the stage the whole time lmao. When it was the second ‘is this therapy?’ line, they both held up their glasses for the ‘yES!’. Also, for the final bit Marvin, Trina and Whizzer all came on singing into glasses and slapping their legs with plates lmao.

Marriage proposal - I saw a few people saying that this was a bit ~creepy~ rather than cute, and I guess I see what they mean? But they didn’t do the weird vampire wrist grab like the revival, so I guess that’s a plus. Trina was very confused the whole time, bless her, and for the ‘start to cry’ she was like ‘I’m not??’ and then Mendel starting blubbering. Plus, Jason sang the ‘biblical times?’ first one rather than Trina, and Marvin did this Super Sassy ‘bIbLiCaL tImEs’ that was hilarious.

Trina’s Song/March of the Falsettos - This was staged as a nightmare sequence, which brought some sense to the madness of MoTF. Like, when she woke up she continued with the song, it worked really well. I also really liked that they reenacted the wedding scene from 4 Jews as part of it, it really showed Trina’s fear that something bad would happen again.

The Chess Game - Wow, this was... intense. Whizzer was super snarky, so Marvin got mad at him pretty quickly. It was so funny though, especially when it was Whizzer saying the ‘move a pawn’ bit and he sat in his chair like Marvin and acted all stern. Marvin was drinking solidly, so when Whizzer ‘won’ and knocked over a ton of pieces he lobbed the board off stage and hit a few things. Whizzer backed off pretty quick looking scared and Marvin was apologetic until the ‘Whizzer’s supposed to make the dinner’ bit, when he got Whizzer’s suitcase and packed it for him on stage before throwing it at him.  Also, the ‘this had better come to a stop’ was targeted at the liquor bottle.

Making a home – Mendel came on with only a house plant and it got kicked out of the house anyway lmao I relate. The dog bit Jason’s chessboard rip.

The Games I Play – this was performed so well my mum almost cried. It was much softer than any other version I’ve heard and more… spoken? But the notes at the end were belted and spot on, but he still had the slight tremor like he was tearing up. Your heart really went out for Whizzer, especially as the Motel projected on the screens on his side were mirrored by the homely ones on the other.

Marvin Hits Trina – Marvin didn’t tear up the invitation but he did hit a lot of stuff. Mendel also seemed a lot less angry at him when Marvin first came in then the revival – I guess Marvin was somewhat drunk in this. He also looked MAD at Whizzer whenever he sang his bits, apart from when Whizzer chokes up a bit when he says he doesn’t love him, and you see Marvin falter a bit then before he shouts at everyone. The lights went red when he hit Trina, which really added to the effect (although they were a bit late whoops)

I Never Wanted to Love You – Jason was crying and hugging Trina after Marvin hit her, and Mendel came and surrounded them in this big ~protective dad~ way. Marvin looked genuinely sorry as well, which was nice I guess.

Father to Son – The staging of this was really simple – they were just sat on the floor centre stage face-to-face. But it was so heartfelt, and Marvin looked like he was going to cry for most of it. And at first, Jason was a bit hesitant to hug him after what happened before, but you could see how relieved Marvin was when he did.

Falsettoland – Mendel pointed at the audience for the ‘homosexuals’ and ‘mother with children’ lmao. The tiny band was the wedding ring too. Whizzer was introduced back on with ‘homosexual’ and he did this offended ‘really’ gesture it was great. No Nancy Reagan punchbag unfortunately, but the lesbians came on holding signs saying Love Is Love <3. Marvin and Trina seemed a lot more friendly in this too, which was a nice touch!

Year of the Child – Mendel was Too Scared to really disrupt the arguments haha. Trina was fierce, Marvin suggested the caterers really sheepishly and she basically bit his head off it was hilarious. And when the lesbians arrived with the food, she literally said off-mic ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ to Marvin. At the end, Jason ran off because they were all too ~excited~ and the last part of the song was spent looking for him lmao.

Miracle of Judaism – ‘Jo… what’s the name of that bitch?’ im dead

Baseball Game – Jason had a pretty good swing before Whizzer even arrived to be honest. The lesbians fully got up and yelled at the umpire it was great. Mendel got up to sing his bit, and Marvin and Trina just sort of led him to sit back down and apologised offstage. Whizzer kept teasing Marvin back about the hairline comments, and Marvin just mournfully rubbed his head like ‘I know.’ It was hilarious.

A Day in Falsettoland – Charlotte and Cordelia were the patients and they were both amazing. Mendel wasn’t even sorry about the name. Charlotte literally spat the food back onto Cordelia’s plate, she didn’t even hide it lmao. ‘Maybe in a mile I’ll be okay.’ ‘a mILE?’ Same Mendel. Also, Trina runs with weights? Raquetball worked really well to say there was such little space on stage. It was nice to see the softer side to Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship, the occasional kisses throughout the game.

Everyone Hates His Parents – it was pretty similar to the revival, except Mendel and Jason both did a mega cartwheel?! I was shocked, it was perfect. Also, Trina cried ‘you’re killing me!’ to Jason after he said he didn’t want the bar mitzvah, which made the ‘kill you mother’ verse a bit more understandable lmao. Also, Trina kept giving Marvin these ‘seriously?’ looks during that whole song.

What More Can I Say - this was so sweet, so Domestic. Marvin was like this happy puppy. Whizzer basically fell asleep reading, and Marvin was taking his glasses off and putting the book aside, it was v sweet

Something Bad is Happening - lovely singing from the lesbians, extra runs! They were So Good together. When Whizzer collapsed (it was a proper keel over too), Marvin lifted his head and shoulders into lap and sang it straight to him. It was v sweet and sad, Whizzer was crying and apologising to him :’(

Holding to the Ground - this is such a beautiful song, and Laura sounded incredible. They were setting up the set behind her, but there were sirens and a heart monitor came on when they helped Whizzer into the hospital bed.

Days like this - Marvin brought this awful cheesy card, and Whizzer just held it up to the audience like ‘what’. But he kept reading the on Trina and Mendel brought and showing it to Marvin. The Whizzer/Trina solidarity was v sweet, he kissed her cheek and things when they arrived.

Cancelling the Bar Mitzvah - Jason started properly crying into Trina who cried as well. It was so raw and emotional, you really felt their fear for what is happening. My only qualm was that they cut part out?? It’s one of my favourite lines, when Mendel sings the ‘becoming a man’ bit :s

Four Unlikely Lovers - now this was heartbreaking. Marvin went and cried at the end of the hospital bed at the beginning, and he sobbed at Whizzer’s ‘our bed’. They were really sweet though, always kissing foreheads or holding hands and things - I don’t think they let go all song. Cordelia and Charlotte also came in holding hands <3

Side note! Whizzer seemed in a lot more pain in this!! Which made me really sad 

Something Bad (reprise) - Jason was watching Charlotte sing it instead of Marvin, I guess it was almost like her preparing him for what was going to happen to his Dad too?!

You Gotta Die Sometime - this was sooo well sung, it was pretty soft and then he started breaking down at end instead of belting the note :’’( Until Jason came in and he was like ‘um where’s your parents??’

Jason’s Bar Mitzvah - it had such a nice tight-knit ( ;) ) feeling to it which was really bittersweet. Mendel came in hiding balloons v unsuccessfully behind his back. The took the photo again, which was great (although not bitter they didn’t use the camera effect in that for the line in Everyone Tells Jason to See A Psychiatrist or anything). When Jason sung the prayer, he waved away the book and stood on table v proud. Then Jason sort of beckoned Whizzer over, which made him collapse onto the floor and Jason was taken off screaming for him. It was heartbreaking.

What Would I Do - the one that finally broke me. It was so so sad, Whizzer was still alive collapsed in bed so they sung it to each other and held held hands until he flatlined at end. On stage. My God.

At the end, the rest of the family all crowded around the bed and surrounded Marvin (who was properly sobbing). Mendel blew the candle that had been lit for the Bar Mitzvah out, and the photo they took came up on screen.

So, conclusion, see this show NOW before it ends its ridiculously short run. Honestly. You won’t regret a penny.

[thequeenofadream]

You (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Summary: You by Dodie Clark, but with a twist ;)

Words: 3676

Notes: TW: MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL DRINKING AND ALMOST GETTING HIT. angsty at first, but gets pretty fluffy uwu haha + swearing + lyrics are italicized 

A/N:  this is for @queens-n-roses 2k writing challenge anddd reading all the other entries got me thinking well shit so here i am in all my shittiness ha ha ha anyways this is also my first time doing a song thing so tell me what you guys think! also also this is late bc im on my last weeks of school so sorry but expect more fics during summer!! (march-june for all ur western people) sdfdjks u know what im gonna leave a seperate post for the a/n fic bc yall i have kwento bye love you all <3

☀ tagging: @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things

~~~~~~~~~

I told you I was looking for some empathy

Well, you fooled me

You slammed the door of the apartment you and Roger shared. You had just broken up with you boyfriend, Zach, as he was a misogynistic prick. He had insisted that you move out of your apartment with Rog and move in with him.

You had repeatedly told him no, especially since moving was expensive for college student. You had also only been dating for a month, and the whole thing seemed too fast. In response, he called you a ‘whore’ and ‘cheating bitch’, but the thing that took the cake was when he had punched a hole in his wall, which missed you by a mere inch.

You told him that you never wanted to see his face again, and got out of there, leaving him in a shocked state.You ran straight home, never looking back, tears running down your face. You couldn’t believe you didn’t see his nasty attitude before, but you were glad you got out of it before anything escalated.

Roger was sitting on the couch reading a car magazine, when the sharp noise caused his to dart up seeing you in disarray. You marched right over to your room and closed the door, leaving Rog completely clueless to whatever had happened. He followed you quietly, wanting to comfort you, but the door was locked shut.

He put his ear against the door, trying to make out anything from your sobs, but all he could hear was your crying. He’d seen you cry before, but not to the point that didn't even talk to him. It concerned him a lot, but instead of getting the spare key, he decided to give you some space for now. He told himself he’d make it up in the morning.

You were glad you had stashed a bottle of vodka in the dark corners of your cabinet. You were a shaky mess while the bottle sat in your hand. You placed the bottle between your lips, feeling the taste of alcohol rush into your mouth. It left a burning sensation as it made its way down to your stomach.

You didn’t know what you were feeling right now, but it definitely helped you take your mind off what had just happened.

You fell asleep on the floor with your back against your bed. Your mind wandered between fear, anger and sadness during your last moments of consciousness.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache. The soft pillow on underneath your head, made you feel the slightest bit better. Wait. You realised you were up on your bed, tucked in your comfy duvy. The light peered through your windows making your head throb at the brightness.

You looked away to darker parts of your room, seeing some pain relievers and a glass of water sitting on your night stand which only perpetuated your confusion. Nonetheless, you took them both, making you feel just a bit better. You were about to get up when your door swung open, hitting the wall.

“Whoops I’m sorry.”

You saw Roger holding a tray of pancakes. The stack of pancakes was adorned by powdered sugar and a trickling waterfall of maple syrup. It was such a heavenly sight, you had to restrain yourself from lunging at the sight of it. You couldn’t believe that Roger had made it for you. You couldn't believe Roger was responsible for it. He sat on your side of the bed placing the pancakes down.

When he had gotten a good look at you, he saw how distraught you were. You eyes were sore and puffy; Your hair was disheveled mess, sticking out in all directions. It was a good thing he left the pain relievers for you.

“What’s the occasion?” You practically drooling over the pancakes as Roger set them down.

“You seemed sad last night, so I head to the local diner and got some takeaway pancakes.”

“I knew you couldn’t have made them! and if you did, i guess that i’d have a big mess to clean.”

You both laughed. He’d been your best friend for five years now, and you both knew each other like the back of your hand. He handed you a fork as you wasted no time taking a bite out of them. It was a divine breakfast to say the least. You were devouring every piece as if it was your first meal in a hundred years. Roger could only sit back and watch, amused by how much happiness these pancakes. Little did he know it wasn’t necessarily the pancakes that made you happy.

“So were the pain relievers from you as well?” You asked, finishing up the last bit of pancakes. You laid your back against the headboard, the paper plate and plastic fork in hand.

“Yup, it scared me how much vodka you had drunk.” There was pity in his eyes as he said it. He saw how much was left in the bottle you held while you slept and it petrified him. For a second he thought you had died, but his worries were quickly washed away when he felt a pulse.

“Well yeah, you’ll have to remind me in the coming days.”

You trailed off, remembering your sorrow and pain from last night. You set down the now empty plate and fork onto the trail and took the glass of water from the night stand. Roger frowned seeing you still weren’t over what ever had happen. He thought that he might get punched for asking the question, but it was inevitable.

“So, what happened?”

You continued drinking your water, not really wanting to answer. You wanted to put it off for as long as possible, but Rog was persistent.

“You know you’ll have to talk about it sooner or later. It’s not healthy to keep it in, especially since you almost killed yourself over it.”

You stopped drinking and took a deep sigh. He was right.

“Zach and I broke up. He-” Your breath hitched and tears threatened to flood down your cheek.

Roger reddened, at the mention of Zach’s name. He always thought he condescending asshole. He’d always try to play nice around him just so you could be happy, but there were times when he couldn’t. He’d tell you that he was a dick or a pisshat. You’d always tell him to give Zach a chance, but deep down inside you agreed with every little statement.

“What’d the bloody wanker do?”

The anger in his eyes was terrifying. They were like lightning bolts that were about to strike at any moment, any where.

“He almost punched me, but he missed. He left a hole in the wall instead.”

You spoke softly as a tear rolled down your left cheek. You would have shrugged it off convincing Roger it wasn’t a big deal, but you couldn’t lie. You were horror-struck.

Meanwhile, Roger would have gone into complete hysterics if he wasn’t sitting on your bed at the moment. He tried to compose himself, but he couldn’t. He was ready to throw tables. He was ready to smack the Zach into the bloody ocean. He tensed up everywhere and you noticed his arms’ veins were completely evident. His gaze went dark as he angrily grit through his teeth.

“I’ll kill him.”

You put a hand on his arm, trying your best to get him to calm down. You stroke his arm gently, as he directed his attention back to you.

“Rog, I’m fine, no scars, no cuts. I’m just scared he might come looking for me.”

“I promise I won’t let that happen. I’ll always be there for you.”

He gave you a badly needed hugged, as he realised you needed to be comforted first and foremost. Despite the tight hug, it felt kind and tender. You sank into the hug as it was the first time someone had touched you with such affection and care. You truly felt loved.

Just a touch and a thought and I was gone

It had been days since the incident and you were relatively fine. You hadn’t seen Zach anywhere and you were starting to get back on your feet. Roger had really helped you get back to your normal self. He’d always speak out about his desire to “beat the shit and bullocks out the bloody cunt”, but you’d assure him, you didn’t even want to hear about him anymore.

Tonight was your first night out since, and Roger was accompanying you to be your wingman of sorts. He had thoroughly convinced you to get out and mingle and you had finally gave in. He had also invited Fred, Brian and John, but they all had turned it down last minute; something about them all going to the same meeting. It was a very bullshit excuse, but you and Rog didn’t really mind. It was high time the two of you had some best friend bonding anyways.

You were looking through dresses in your wardrobe, when you had finally found the perfect one. You went with a sparkly tube that ended mid-thigh; You thought it would do nicely with the white pair of boots you had bought the other day. You looked in the mirror, checking yourself out for a moment before you heard a voice from your bedroom doorway.

“I’d check myself out too if I were you.”

You looked back to see the blonde drummer himself, leaning against the door frame. A blush spread throughout your cheeks at his flirtatious comment; his flirtatious comments were quite regular, but you couldn’t help but blush.

Ever since he comforted you, you couldn’t help but feel more amorous around him. You’ve tried to brush it off, but your little crush on your best friend was growing stronger and stronger by the minute.

“Uh yeah well we should get going, before it gets too crowded.”

You hid your face behind your purse as you walked past him. He looked at you in confusion, wondering why you’d become so embarrassed all of a sudden, because you usually had some witty remark ready, but he followed nonetheless.

The walk to bar was relatively normal; you both talked about your day at university. You couldn’t help but stare intently into his eyes during conversation. You mentally scolded yourself for looking at him so love-struck.

By the time you had gotten to the bar, the chaotic atmosphere was in full swing. The pungent aroma of alcohol filled the air as you both stepped in. You both looked at each other knowing exactly what to do. He headed to bar to get some drinks while you searched for a booth. You pushed past the crowd to find a small booth by the corner of the bar. You slipped and looked around, really taking in the scene.

You toyed with the hem of the dress you wore, not really knowing what else to do. You came here feeling pretty confident, but now you really just wished you were home alone with Rog, playing scrabble. You came to impress the masses, but you were having second thoughts. You realised that the only reason you agreed to this whole night out thing was to impress Roger.

It seemed to always be about him.

You pressed your head against the table, realising just how strong you’d fallen in love with him. It was pathetic to say the least. You had fallen in love with a rising drummer who is known to steal the hearts of many. How could one compete?

You had barely spent five minutes in the pub, but you knew it wasn’t going to be a fun night. You decided you were gonna tell him this whole thing was too much for you and you were going to head home. You stood up from your booth and went to the bar.

When you got there, you found several girls fawning over him; You felt that he was the Queen Helen at times, just like Helen, his handsome face could start bloody wars.

You hoped that maybe he would accompany you home and you could hang out, but it was obvious he going home with someone who definitely wasn’t you. You squeezed through the crowd of females, before Roger noticed you and called out your name.

“(Y/N)! Sorry, I got a bit carried away.” He gestured towards the girls who cornered him into the tight spot.

“It’s fine. I’m just gonna head home, I remembered as assignment or two due tomorrow.” You lied, not really looking at him.

He was too drunk to hear you over the loud music, but he nodded thinking you said that you were going to head home with someone. There was a ping of jealousy that shot through his veins, but he ignored it. This was your night, he wasn’t going to stop you from having any fun.

You were a bit scared to leave all alone, but you quickly pushed those those thoughts away as you walked towards the exit. As you left the pub, rain started pouring. You rolled your eyes, sarcastically thanking the world for such great luck. You ran home as fast as you could but by the time you got home, you were soaking wet and too tired to do anything. You just changed into dry clothes and fell asleep on the couch whilst watching an episode of coronation street.

Why do all the red flags

Just look like so much fun, oh

I have a habit of searching for the damage

To share my love

You were out with your friend, Maria, having a chatting over some tea at cafe near the University. You were talking about random things that came to mind, until she brought up your love life.

“So, I heard you finally broke up with that awful douchebag, Zach.” She raised an eyebrow, hoping it was very much true. You just nodded in response, not really wanting to talk about it.

“Well, have you been out since?”

“Nope, but I did go to the pub with Rog the other night. I left early, but he went home with someone else.”

Your eyes lit up when you Roger’s name, but it quickly faded when you remembered he didn’t go home with you. Someone else ended up in his arms that night. Maria noticed this very clearly and did not hesitate to bring it up.

“Do you fancy Roger?”

She asked simply, taking a sip of her tea. You blushed, not really knowing how to respond. You hadn’t told anyone about your sudden intrigue towards him, so your mind was trying to find a response, before your friend answered the question herself.

“Oh my god, you have! You’re absolutely flustered.” She pointed at your cheeks that were as red as ever. She laughed at how embarrassed you were over it.

“Can you shut up! Nobody knows.” You scolded her, swatting her hands away. You drank some of your tea, to hide the increasing temperature of your cheeks as Maria calmed down.

“As much as I love your little friendship, that’s a really bad idea.” She said seriously. You put your cup down, listening to what she had to say.

“I mean no offense, but Roger’s well Roger. Literally everyone knows him as hot drummer you have to take home at the end of the night. You’re just you. You probably just fell in love with him, because you had no one else to love.

You were a tad offended by it. You could possibly in a relationship with infamous drummer, Roger Taylor, right? You thought she was probably just jealous that you had been friends since high school, while she was just another girl in the long list of girls that wanted to talk to him. You were also very sure loved him. You didn’t think of him as just some rebound that you’d stick with until you found someone better. You thought that he was that someone better.

You tried your best to assure yourself that you weren’t a pathetic loser who had fallen in love Roger throughout the rest of your meeting with Maria.

In the end, you didn’t really succeed and you were starting to hope your infatuation was just passing.

People will tell me that I messed up

And it wasn't love

And I'm secretly hoping they are right

“Hey (Y/N), I’m sorry I let you leave alone.”

Roger suddenly blurted from across the couch. You raised your head up from the book you were reading. You wondered why he had brought it up in this particular moment. You were both across each other reading books when he had brought up the subject.

This was the first time in a while that you were together, silent. You have been refrained from seeing him too much, because you were trying to let your crush on him die in peace, but it just wouldn’t. You decided today you’d have a lazy saturday and lounge around. It just so happened that you both decided to read a book in the living room right after breakfast.

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not really sure if he was talking about that night.

“I mean the first night you went out in a while. I thought you said you were going home with someone else.” He said empathetically completely putting down the book he was reading to join you on your side of the couch.

“It’s fine really, don’t worry about it.” You said going back to your book, continuing where you left off. That was when he stole the book from your grasp and tossed it aside, allowing you to focus on him.

“Ro-”

“It’s not okay. You were still recovering from asshat, Zach. What if he had found you that night?”

You just realised that possibility; you hadn’t noticed it with everything running through your mind that night, but you thought it was fine now. You were fire. Everything was fine.

“It’s fine I ran home, it was raining.” You said, looking away. Roger frowned seeing you weren’t going to budge. He scooted back the slightest bit and gave you some room to breathe.

“I just care about you a lot.” His whisper almost was almost inaudible, but you not absolutely.

“I really am fine. I’d tell you if I felt otherwise, promise.” You said looking back at him, meaning what you said. He sighed, before speaking up again.

“Then why have you been avoiding me the whole week? It’s like I barely even see you anymore and we live in the same apartment!” He said throwing his arms up. You bit your lip, wondering if this was the best time.

“Rog, I don’t think it-”

“Please.”

He looked at you pleadingly. He did not like not seeing you, he hated it. He missed the way you lit up a room with your smile. It was like his sun had been gone the whole week. He was starting to worry if he had done something wrong and that was when he remembered the night you both went out.

When he came back home in the morning, he saw you still sleeping on the couch. He realised he had misheard and you had actually gone home by yourself. He had been filled with guilt since then.

“I think I love you, okay?” You admitted quietly as you looked down, fiddling with your fingers.

“You think?” He asks. He was obviously ecstatic at the idea that you loved him, but wondered why you thought so. He wondered why you weren’t sure.

“It’s just that you’re you! I don’t know why I just fell for you all of sudden. I started noticing all these little things about you and they just made me fall deeper and deeper. I thought it would just go away, but it hasn’t. You keep me up at night, Roger Taylor.” You finished, taking a deep breathe.

“What if I told you I loved you too?”

“Well then I’d guess I’d have no choice, but to love you back. I mean this whole wanting to kiss you and everything isn’t going away.” You joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Well, I’ve loved you for quite some time, if you must know.”

“Yeah that’s funny.”

You laughed, while Roger did not really know how to respond. You thought he joking back, but he was dead serious. You realised this and stopped laughing abruptly.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, you’re really just oblivious aren’t you?”

You blinked once and pinched yourself to ensure this wasn’t a dream. You were surprised to find out it in fact was not. Your (E/C) eyes went wide as you looked at his blue ones, which were waiting for any kind of response.

“(Y/N)?” He asked waving a hand in front of you. You snapped out of your trance and tried to speak, but it all just came out as jumbled words.

“Me? Like? You? Too? Some Time?!” You mumbled as Roger laughed at the priceless look on your face. You seemed to be absolutely surprised to this revelation. Two people who have been best friends and living with each other for over 5 years fall in love? You thought it didn’t add up.

“I could just save you some and kiss you if you’d like?” He said as your stomach did backflips at the mere thought of it. You nodded as he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours.

You hummed happily at how sweet it was. Funnily enough, the kiss was what brought you back to reality; you started to kiss back. Your lips were both in sync with one another as if they had been aching to meet each other for such a long time. When you both pulled away, all you could think is about kissing him again.

“Yes I do love you.”

“Sure?”

“Positive.”

Oh, I really hope I don't love you

~~~~~~~~~

[feel199x]

fboy! lee felix, best friends to lovers

♡  a/n: okay i know y’all have seen felix’s pre-debut pics and i akdfdsjfh; just had to get this out of my system!

♡  summary: your best friend, felix, has a sudden change in attitude- leaving you baffled, why?

!! warnings: themes of anxiety n depression! but vv fluff towards end

♡  masterlist  ♡

♡  song rec: slow love - tender & nothing but thieves -  you know me too well

 You weren’t sure when it happened. It must’ve been gradual you think, slowly slipping away. Eventually disconnecting. It didn’t really hit you until Felix completely stopped answering your phone calls and text messages. He would ignore you in the hallways, never partnered with you anymore, and now you sat alone during lunch. Today, still confused and oblivious to the whole situation, you tried sitting with him and his friends. He had still been talking to you then- could one word replies once a week count as talking? You sat in the seat next to him, and asked him how he had been, commenting on how he seemed so busy recently. You remember the table going quiet, eyes all on you- almost pitifully. Felix looked at you like he’d never seen you before.

“What are you doing?”

“I just, ah,” you fidgeted with your hands, mumbling as you picked your lunch bag, “sorry.”

You sat on the floor of the bathroom stall, sniffling. It was unsanitary, yes, but it was better than crying in the library and being shushed. Maybe you should’ve known, lots of friends parted ways in high school. You just never thought that it would happen with you and Felix. He had promised he wouldn’t, and the way he was acting now wasn’t like him. He had always, always been friendly and chipper. He was exciting, unpredictable, and most notably, unbelievably caring and loyal. Lots of people changed, usually for the worst, but lix? Lix wasn’t like that. Maybe you had depended on him too much, and it finally pushed him away? Maybe you were too boring, maybe he had outgrown you in some way? You were trying to rationalize, justify his actions to himself. The bell rang, snapping you out of your dazed thoughts. You stumbled out of the stall, washing your face. You were such a crybaby, and here you were swollen eyes and lips, all screwed over because someone didn’t like you anymore.

You saw him in the halls as you walked to your next class, you thought he was looking at you, but he wasn’t. He was looking past you, through you. Your head hung in embarrassment and you sat at your desk. Your head was in your hands, pulling at your skin. It was senior year already, how were you going to make new friends at this point? Everybody had established friend groups, cliques, no one would invite you to tag along with them at this point. You were nice, you guessed, but that didn’t mean all that much. It was unlikely your niceness would get you further than acquaintances or mutuals. You could barely pay attention in your maths class, staring at the board with glazed over eyes. You were trying not to think about him, trying not to over-analyze the situation and make yourself even more upset. It was hard because that’s the type of person you were, anxious and jumpy. Felix had always been the one to talk you down, even when you insisted that you were being a burden and didn’t want to bother him. Maybe it had gotten too much, maybe that’s why he was acting the way he was.

The school hours dragged on, your attention and focus wavering and dwindling as the clock seemed to tick slower. Everything was getting to be too much, the ticking of the clock, the teacher’s voice, even the flipping of paper and scratching of pencils and pens on paper. You jumped out of your seat, making the chair squeak as you got up. To your relief, everyone was much too self-involved to notice, and you slipped out of the classroom. It was friday, and it was a tradition with you and Lix to have a game night, eat Chinese, and complain about whatever was on your minds that day. You would walk home, his small hand holding yours, and fall asleep on the couch together, his head resting on his stomach and his arms wrapped around you while you stroked his hair. It had been three months since your last game night, and the last time he had spent all his time on the phone with some girl.

That had been happening a lot recently.

It hadn’t bothered you at first, not really. Mostly because at the time you didn’t realize that he was flirting. But when he ended up skipping hanging out with you to fool around with girls. Still, it wouldn’t have bothered you if it was only girl, the problem was that it was many. But they never seemed to stick. You had tried asking him about it, not even really trying to lecture him- just wanting to understand the sudden change in attitude. That’s when it went downhill, and it went downhill fast. He had just stopped replying all together, maybe that was the turning point. Had you been too invasive?

Still, your heart sank when you didn’t see him by the school’s entrance, all excited and happy, ready to plant a kiss on your cheek.

Being close to him always made your heart beat faster, and not because of your anxiety, he just made you feel like- like, something. Today you ate Chinese alone, watching sad romantic dramas instead having your ass kicked in mortal combat. You had your notifications on, so you don’t know why you kept checking your phone. You felt guilty, maybe you were overbearing? You wanted to apologize, but would that be guilt tripping? Your hands were getting sweaty, and your rubbed it on your sweatpants, needing to fidget to relieve tension.

You: im sorry- You erased the message, and typed again, You: is everything okay? Your leg was bouncing, and you deleted the message again. Why was this so stressful?

you: im sorry if i was too much, i love you and i hope everything is okay

lixie! ♡ : . . .

You watched as the three little dots and bounced, holding your breath, but they disappeared. Your eyebrows furrowed, tearing at the edge of your eyes, ready to break the dam. You shut off your phone, doing your best to turn your attention the TV screen. At Least the romantic drama gave you an excuse to cry. You wrapped your arms and legs around the throw pillow, burying your head in it as your cried, just like you would do if he was here. And eventually, you fell asleep, to no new notifications.

Sometimes you forgot that Felix only lived next door, but you were always reminded when there was a car door slamming and shouting. His parents weren’t home so he must’ve gone out with his friends. You should’ve been mad at him, skipping out on game night and ignoring your text to do god knows what. This was happening a lot more recently, he would leave and stay out past curfew, but somehow he had never gotten caught. But you were just worried, he was going through something, you were sure. But you weren’t there to help.

“_____! _____, open the door!” he was elongating his word, were they slurred? Had he been drinking? You ran to the door, almost tripping over your blankets. Felix fell when you opened the door, and you nearly didn’t catch him when he flopped into your arms. He was heavy, and he reeked of alcohol.

“Hey,” he gave you a wink, “Hey there, ___!”

“Hey, lix,” you said softly, “Have you been drinking?”

“Lix,” he said bitterly, “I missed that.”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Mmmm, no!”

You sighed, almost dragging him to your bed. You were disappointed in him, he would never had done something like this a year ago. But a year ago, you still had an idea of who he was. He rolled on top of your bed. “Don’t you miss cuddling, ___? I do, I miss you,” he sighed sadly, “I like you, ___. I like like you. Mmm, I love you. Do you have food? I’m hungry.” You pulled a cover over him, tucking him in and he reached, cupping one side of your face. Instinctively leaning into his touch. “I love you, ___.” You nodded, placing his hand back down. “I’m just gonna get you some food and water, and advil, okay?” He nodded eagerly. “Okay,” he slurred, “But then you gotta cuddle, like always.” Your mind hadn’t really processed the words, and you weren’t sure you wanted to be thinking about him until he was sober. He was asleep when you came back in, not that you expected anything else. You put the plate on the nightstand and the glass of water with a tablet of advil by its side. You looked at him once, sighing to yourself before you shut the lights and closed the door.

You didn’t know what you expected. You closed the room to your door and flopped back on the couch. No new messages either. You were supposed to have therapy tomorrow, but you weren’t sure you wanted to go. It took you some time to call up the office and cancel, you knew it was a bad idea, but it was so incredibly draining. You just wanted to wallow for a bit, binge on Chinese food until your parents came back from the anniversary getaway they were on. You could hear music blaring from Felix’s house, and you fought the urge to look out your window. It was late already, the sun already high up into the sky. You ordered some more food and mindlessly binged TV, not really paying attention to what was going on. You shut off your phone, throwing it to the other side of the couch. Felix’s music was still blaring, and instead of raising the volume and ignoring you, you went back to your room and sat at the desk. He only did this when he was angry, overwhelmed with some sort of emotion. He was probably dancing too, but you didn’t want to peek through the blinds.

Except, Felix’s voice came on the track. You knew it had to be him because really- who had a voice as deep as him? It sent shivers down your spine, and it made you proud. Felix had always taken an interest in dancing, just music in general. And he was good at it too. He had posted about performing in a showcase, and you really wanted to go, but he hadn’t invited you. It was a public event, so you could’ve shown up if you really wanted to, but it’d be awkward.

You rolled away, pushing yourself from the chair. Maybe you shouldn’t have canceled therapy, you were starting to feel that dangerous feeling, and you needed someone to talk to. You tapped on the armrest, throwing your head back and closing your eyes. Sometimes therapy annoyed you, but at least the coping skills usually helped. It’d be better if Felix was here helping you though. You were glad you had finished your essays before thursday, otherwise you’d end up turning them in late. You were starting to feel numb and unmotivated. Your eyes fluttered open. You missed Felix, you missed his touch, his voice. You missed counting his freckled and sneaking out to drive around at night. None of this made any sense, why was he ignoring you if he loved you? Was it all just drunken babble? It had to be, you’d heard stories of people saying things they didn’t mean while they were drunk.

What had you done? You could understand if you were overbearing or too much, but what was the turning point? Why hadn’t he had just talked to you about it? You didn’t know, you didn’t have any answers. You went back to the living room, falling asleep with the background sound of the movie, reading old text messages.

lixie! ♡ : come out now!!

lixie! ♡  : ___! wake upppp!!

lixie! ♡: has sent you an image

lixie! ♡: please bb i miss u! lets eat junk

you: lix please it 3 am

lixie! ♡: what kind of best friend are you?

lixie! ♡: abandoning your best friend in his times of need

lixie! ♡: did you just shut off your lights

lixie! ♡: and turn off your ringer

lixie! ♡: oH MY GOD

lixie! ♡: wait seriously come out i miss u

you: fine, but you have to catch me this time

lixie! ♡: uhh no promises

It was Monday soon, and you knew you had school, you knew you had to get up, but you didn’t. It was stupid probably, but you had no energy, no motivation to go. You felt gross, stupid, but not enough to push you out of your bed. You hadn’t even slept, your eyes burning and heavier than you could manage, but it wasn’t enough to fall asleep. You should’ve gone to therapy, you shouldn’t have canceled and you felt worse and worse. You stared up at the white ceiling, it burned in your vision, and almost expanded, like it went on forever. The blinds were closed and your light was shut off, leaving you in an uncomfortable darkness. But still, the white was almost too much, but you couldn’t look away. You couldn’t move.

It was Tuesday now, and you moved. You looked like hell, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to pay attention other than short bursts of focus, but you couldn’t afford to miss anymore classes. If your attendance slipped, then so would your grades, and with you grades your health...and so on, and so on. You passed Felix in the hallway, and he looked in your direction. You would’ve stopped to talk to him maybe, but you were rubbing sleep out of your eyes, still not having slept. Your classes barely passed, the time for breaks seemed to dissipate the more you looked forward to it. And then you had enough, you were tired of waiting around for an explanation, tired of feeling guilty, tired of feeling like this. You snapped. You saw him walking to the cafeteria, laughing along with his new friends.

“Lee Felix!”

What were you doing? You didn’t know, but the words were already out of your mouth and you stopped in the middle of the hallway. It was emptying as people rushed to get lunch. Felix paused for a moment, almost turning around.

“Lee Felix!”

His friends shot him a look, and Felix finally turned around, hands in his pockets. “What do you want? I’m busy.” You crossed your arms, walking towards him. “Felix what the hell? He shrugged, giving you a blank look. “What do you want?” he repeated, “I told you, I’m busy. I don’t have time for you.” To say that stung was an understatement. Your voice grew softer, cracking. Your fist tightened at your sides and you looked down, trying not to cry, “I was going to say I missed you. I wanted to know what was wrong.” Felix frowned a bit, trying to keep his demeanor from cracking. “I don’t. I already said I don’t have time for you and your problems. Yes, you were too much. You are too much. Leave me alone.”

 Needless to say, you skipped the rest of classes that day. Your parents asked you what was wrong, wondering if they should make an emergency appointment with your therapist. You guessed it was a drunken ramble after all. Your bed was a mess, pillow stained with tears. How long has it been since you took a shower? When did you last eat? You watched the light in your room disappear and appear again, days where passing you knew, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t care, and it felt like no one else did either. There was practically a mold of your body in your bed by now, but still, you couldn’t find the strength to get up. You weren’t even thinking about him, actually, you weren’t thinking about anything at all. You couldn’t get up, you couldn’t will yourself to even brush your teeth. You felt gross, unsanitary. You were tired, only being able to sleep in short intervals, but always being snapped awake. You rubbed your eyes, still staring up at the ceiling. Why hadn’t you ever painted it? It stayed ingrained in your vision, even as you closed your eyes. You were able to turn around, even though your body felt heavy like molasses. But still, the white was in your vision. God, you were so tired, and you needed to move. It was beginning to hurt, your body numb and aches spreading through various parts of your body.

At some point, you felt a weight dip in your bed.

“Hey.”

You thought you were hallucinating, it couldn’t have been him. “Hey, look at me, please?” You felt his hand on your shoulder, brushing your hair to the side, it was all sticky from the stain of your tears, and he brushed them away too. “Your parents called me, they’re worried about you.” He rolled you around, fingers dusting against your jaw. “I’m worried about you. I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He looked at you sadly, looping his fingers behind your ear and playing with your hair. “I know it’s wrong for me to say now, but I meant what I said when I stumbled on your door.”

“You were drunk, lix.”

He smiled at the sound of your voice, somehow soothing him. “I was sober enough.” He pulled you into his chest, the side of your face pressed against his chest. “I was trying so hard to move on,” he murmured, “I wanted any excuse not to see you. I thought if I was mean I’d stop liking you. Sounds so stupid, I know.” He sighed deeply, you could feel his chest rise and fall. “You’re all that I want. You’re all that I need.” He laced his hands in yours, reaching up into the sky, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “You need to shower, okay? And get some fresh air.”

“I can’t. I don’t have energy.”

“I’m here to help, forever.”

He picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and you flopped around aimlessly, not having the willpower to fight him. He turned around as you undressed, leaving you only in your undergarments. The bath ran, the warm water giving you some feeling back in your body. Your knees were against your chest as lix washed your hair. You sputtered as some of the water streamed down your face. “Sorry, I’m doing my best.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to.”

He kneaded his knuckles against your back to relieve you of the tension you had accumulated the past few day, and you were beginning to relax. The water lapped against you as he help you take a bath. It was embarrassing in a sense, but it’s not like he hasn’t seen you in this sadder daze before. He let you towel off, and brought back clothes. His clothes.

Things felt like they were finally returning to normal, but you still felt weak. “Are you okay?” You hadn’t moved the past week, much less walked around. “I’m fine, my legs are just weak.” He smiled at you, and you had almost forgotten the butterflies you got when he smiled with his eyes. “I’ll carry you!”

“Lix-!”

Without another word, Felix picked you and carried you bridal style, your parents hooting playfully after you. Felix drove humming to a song  you didn’t recognize and you sat in the passenger’s seat, smelling his cologne on his hoodie. His hoodie swamped you, leaving you in a big lump of cloth. Your nose was under the collar, pressed against the texture. It had been so long since you stole one of his hoodies. It had just been so long. You sat in the mcdonald’s parking lot, screeching abba lyrics as you ate.

“Do you feel better?”

He put his food down, and looked at you intently, staring deep into your eyes. His head slightly tilted and a small smile on his face. “As long as I’m with you,” you murmured, “I’ll feel like I’m in heaven.” He was leaning now, still looking at you, dragging his thumb across your lips. “Can I kiss you?” You smiled at him, and his eyes brightened. He held your face as he kissed you, and even though he tasted like fries, you were glad that this was finally happening. His thumb rubbed your cheeks as he pulled away, still cupping your face, still looking at you. “I love you,” you whispered. 

“I love you too, baby.”

The thing was, he still hadn’t asked to be your boyfriend. It was a week now, and everything was normal again. He had introduced you to his friends, who were all incredibly nice to you, and Felix let you listen to his songs. He came over just to show you a new dance step he had come up with. You found yourself awake at night, fingertips ghosting over the outline of your lips. You sighed, letting yourself fall back asleep in lix’s hoodie.

It was friday now, game night. You had almost forgotten what it was like to see him bouncing around the school entrance, attentively looking at you. “I was worried,” he snaked his arm around your shoulder and walked with you for a bit before grabbing a hold of your hand. “I’m gonna kiss your ass on fortnite.” You groaned, “Can’t we play mario kart?” He shook his head, pinching your cheek. “No, ‘cause your good at that and I need an excuse to hold your hand while I teach you to play.” You blushed, turning away but he squished your cheeks. “You’re so cute you know that? Too cute.”

You had gotten the two of you killed multiple times, even after you sat in between Felix’s legs and he snaked his arms under your to teach you the controls. But to be fair, you weren’t really paying attention to his instructions. You were focusing on the warmth of his hands as he cupped your hands. He groaned again, the kill screen mocking him as it re-winded and replayed the death. “No offense, I love you, but seriously. You suck so, so bad.”

You bit your lip, and looked up at him. He put down his controller and looked back down on you, arms tightening around your waist. “What is it?”

“Lix…”

“Hmm,” he put his thumb on your chin, holding your head up, “What is it?”

“Why haven’t you asked me out yet? Was it like a one time thing or a joke or-?”

“That explains why you’re not wearing it, I’m so stupid.”

 One arm let go of you and he reached for his bag, fishing in it for a few moments before pulling a bag out. “Lix…” He pulled out a box, and opened it, both hands around your waist again. “It’s a locket, with last year’s prom picture. I was gonna ask you out then but I chickened out.” He pulled the necklace out, brushing your hair to the front as you toyed with the locket. It was heart shaped, but it was far from simple. Intricate engravings sat on the edge, gold and your favorite color gem. Along with it sat your birth stone and Felix’s it.

“So, ___, will you be my lover?”

“God, that’s my far the stupidest thing you’ve said.”

He smiled down at you, thumb brushing against your lips before he kissed you again. It was like you were in the car of the mcdonald’s listening to abba again, but different, more passionate. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” he breathed hard, pulling away but pecking you, “Please pay attention, because I’m only going to explain this to you one more time.”

[personashitposting-va4]

Ok ok so

Posts like this have probably been done before, but idc so I'm doing this anyways

I have a lot of.. Hmm Ideas on what they could do with Akechi's confidant in P5R

Now obviously, making his confidant manual instead of automatic is a must (since not only would you get to actually spend time with him, but you'd get to learn more about his backstory, and in a more natural way as opposed to infodumps like in P5)

So I was thinking:

Ranks one through seven would be manual, and you could start doing them soon after you meet him (I'm thinking anywhere from the tv station event to the end of the third palace arc). Maybe you can find him in the park? That seems like the kind of place he'd go to chill out, what with him liking to go biking and all. The confidant events could range anywhere from you two going biking, to rock climbing, or to any of the stuff that Ren and him do together in the anime. And maybe for like, the main "plot" of his confidant, you could be helping him solve cases? (I like how they handled my boy in the anime, could you tell)

If you're not up to rank seven by the time that the interrogation comes around? Events play out the same way that they did in P5. He tries to kill you, tries again in Shido's palace, and dies. But unlike P5, you wouldn't get to finish his confidant after 11/20 if you didn't have it to seven by then

If you do manage to hit rank seven before 11-20, then he'd spare you, but maybe he'd warn you to stay out of his way (and to stop getting involved with Metaverse things). After that, he'd hit rank eight and leave (and this is where his confidant would become automatic). You go into Shido's palace (of course), and this is where things get interesting. Once Akechi finds out that the PTs are going to change Shido, of all people? He's furious. Not only did he let you live, but he was the one who sacrificed everything to get here. His innocence, his sanity, all of that gone just so he could get back at his father for ruining his life. What right do you have, making him confess yourself? You're not the one who had to suffer in order to get here, and in his mind he's given up too much for someone to just... Take away his one chance to make him confess.

And like I said, Akechi let you live. If Shido had found out then he probably would have killed him, Black Mask or not. He risked his life to save yours, and for what? For you to just... Get right back into the jaws of death?? Did him letting you live mean... Nothing to you?

Look I know that the post is sort of chaotic, I'm just getting in character okay BEAR WITH ME

Anyways, the Akechi boss fight ensues, just like in the original P5... Only this time, he doesn't die. Everyone manages to take down his cognitive self, and once they're all in a safe place, drama and emotions that'll make you cry your eyes out take center stage. I'm thinking that my boy could cry and pour out all his feelings, about the Black Mask thing, about Shido, and about his feelings towards (and for) Ren. I want my son to cry okay

This is when he hits rank nine and officially joins the team. Once the PTs face off against Shido, even MORE angst and drama would ensue. They'd take him down and Akechi would feel... Relieved. His father can't hurt him anymore, and he wouldn't have to hurt anyone anymore. Now of course, since my boy is a drama queen, he'd decide to leave the team (and after just joining, too). He's grateful for Ren and co. for saving him, but he simply can't find it in him to stay. He doesn't think he belongs with them, especially after all he's done.

Only after appearing in the Velvet Room (probably after snapping him out of his wish/dream world) would he decide to help you guys again. You all would face off against Yaldabaoth, Akechi would hit rank 10, and... Bam! He'd have another awakening. You, him, and the rest of the team fight Yaldy, but instead of Ren summoning Satanael, it'd be Ren and Akechi.

Afterwards, I'd imagine that he'd go to jail in Ren's place, or he'd be put in therapy (god knows he needs it... Maybe Takuto could be his therapist? 👀 👀 ). You'd get to hang out with him one last time soon before leaving, and for the first time in years he's actually happy. He finally has people who care about him, who love him... And he's needed by these people, too. You two share a very touching and emotional moment together (and kiss), and then you leave to go home. You DO promise to come see him as much as possible, though.

Tl;dr, my ideas on how they can let Akechi live in Royal are this: make him a manual confidant up until rank seven; he dies if you don't get him to it before the interrogation, and lives if you do. If you're at rank seven by 11/20, he spares you, almost gets killed in Shido's palace (but gets saved), has a third awakening, and finally gets to have a happy ending.

Anyways... I know that this is really self-indulgent and a lot of this stuff won't happen in Royal, but I just REALLY hope that my boy gets to live and be happy this time around

[kingofthewilderwest]

im really glad i followed you tbh,. all this criticism and negativity about httyd3 has really bummed me out and even though you stated you'd probably be doing it too, i still stick in because i appreciate your positivity so much that got me to stay longer in the fandom. i only got to enjoy httyd on my own for years tbh! i got in last year after leaving a previous fandom (and during the trailer hype) but one year with that sort of content invading? it wore me out so much ; w ;

so yeah… even if you did wrote some httyd criticism its in a way thats not too judgemental and i feel relieved by that assurance. i know not everything’s perfect, but sometimes people tend to touch too much on some topics of it because it didnt feel right. and the more realistic it felt, the better sense it had, and the more frustrated i was into believing its true and i couldnt get to enjoy it the same as i did before. (still trying mu hardest to ignore but acknoeledge those thoughts, tho..)

so thanks for being here! youre a wonderful person, just like other httyd accounts out there that i really like >

Oh my goodness, thank you so much.

I understand what you mean about criticism being a bum out in fandom communities. It’s something that often lowers my spirits as well. Some critical conversations can sound extremely rude and negative, which I find spirit dampening. And even in more level critical conversations which can teach us lots about media imperfections, they can still take away from the hype and enjoyment we might want to have. As you said so well, it can make us feel worse, less excited, and less happy about something that has given us a bright spot in our lives… and that’s a shame when such disappointment sits in. I don’t like walking in on constant criticism of something my heart uses for emotional bolstering. There’s a place for criticism, but if that’s the only thing we see in a fandom community, it can be hard to be enthused about participating.

We don’t have to engage in critical sides of fandom. It’s no moral obligation. Just because we might not want to engage in critical analysis online doesn’t mean that we’re living in denial; it’s just the case that social is a recreational platform, and we can all choose to engage in it as we will. Some of us will want to analyze things through the pros and the cons because we enjoy those constructively critical debates. Other people just want social media to be that bright spot in their lives, that breath of fresh air where everything is good and energetic and happy. That’s okay, too - this is your free time, your way of boosting your spirits and making the best of life. Not to mention, it’s important - it’s the reason fandom is fun in the first place, is to go out and celebrate what we love!

In the HTTYD community, it’s important to have areas where we can simply scream excitedly! (and goodness are we blessed with so many good things to scream about)

I’m thankful to hear you find my criticism written in a balanced way. I might not agree with every decision in this film, but my intent is to write things in a reflective and analytical state, never being negative, but to contemplate pros and cons I saw and engage them in a way through which I can continue enjoying the film. It’s intended to be a way to recreate and interact with a franchise I dearly love, and to debate with interest with other members of the HTTYD community. I will be posting more reflective criticism, as people may know, but it’ll all be tagged under #httyd 3 criticism. 

It’s something to remind ourselves that criticism isn’t objectively true. It may hit on true thoughts or social issues, and some people may nail the truth on the head: but it’s analysis and at its core subjective. We can read an analysis and accept, partially accept, or politely disagree with someone’s content - not playing a denial game, but using our own mind and emotions to discern - or even choose not to engage (again, this is recreation over a movie; our social media experiences don’t need to morally be “focus on Bad Thing™”). We as fans all interact with media differently, and we all have different lenses through which we understand the content. There have been times where I’ve been upset over one analytical post or another in particular, where it eats away at me, so it’s important to remind myself that this one person’s word isn’t the end-all truth of the media. It may have truth in it, it may be valid, but it’s not the whole story, and I have a right to understanding fuller perspectives beyond it.

I want to reassure people that, while I may be analyzing pros and cons of the movie, this doesn’t make it a bad film. It’s NOT. At all. It’s stunning, it’s enjoyable, it’s worth seeing in theatres, it’s worth seeing in fucking IMAX, it’s worth seeing multiple times, it’s worth screaming about, it’s worth promoting, it’s worth giving DreamWorks our money and support for. We are so blessed to have The Hidden World. SO blessed. I’m looking forward to talking positively about the pros, too! Because lots of fans are extremely excited about what we saw, and there’s so much to love about the third film!

You’re a wonderful, wonderful person, too. May your day be bright and full of DRAGONS!