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#and in my heart of hearts i think that it doesn't necessarily even have to be romantic (even though patrick said that they're a love story)
kissimirrit · 1 year
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sometimes i think about how there's a route in shadow's game called "the miracle of love", where you do the dark missions up until meeting amy, then take the good route for the rest of the game—and i just really feel things for shadow. and in the ending when he goes over everything he did, he mentions how he had no reason to help amy, but did anyway, wording it in a way that implies he just wanted to. it's fucking called the miracle of love.
also there's a voiceline in team sonic racing where he says "you did okay, amy" in the gentlest fucking tone i have ever heard my god. and it's like the nicest thing he said to *any* of the characters in that game.
it's such a soft part of his characterization that kinda drives me nuts to think about sometimes.
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katierosefun · 9 months
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something i enjoy about suits is that these mike and harvey are literally drawn to each other because they both love a good adrenaline rush. like, mike was the one who talked harvey into giving him a job despite having zero qualifications other than his insane memory, and yet harvey already had at least 75% made up when he shook mike's hand. harvey talks about how life is like this and he likes living like this, and mike talks about how he got kicked out of a life that he's been chasing ever since. they're both scrambling after some kind of insane life and mike will say that he wants to help people (and he does! i think he really does!), but he's also the insane guy who tells himself he's helping people by also lying his way into the system in the first place. he's a guy who likes to bend the rules to get at his larger goals, and harvey's the guy who sees most rules as gentle suggestions more than anything else, so long as he just wins. they're both insane! they feed into each other's insanity! mike can play coy and pretend he'll leave harvey eventually, but then harvey wheedles his way back into mike's life with another offer or plan or suggestion and mike will go "no, harvey, i like my peaceful life right now" and then an episode later be like "nvm. what are we doing now". i'm sick to the stomach because they're literally always going to be like this. they aren't escaping each other because they recognize each other for the insane high they both want. they're literally obsessed with each other
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Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.
I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.
#But who would I be if I had not watched supernatural?#I wouldn't be on tumblr for one#not in the same way that I am#Perhaps I would like different shows because the part of Supernatural that still appeals to me now is the queerbaiting#The blatant queerbaiting#the fact that they never get together#the weird way that excessive misogyny creates homoerotic subtext#that's what captures my interest as a viewer#which is problematic or whatever idk i think the show would have been less interesting as a romance#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character#and part of his character when read as a suppression of homosexuality simply would not work if the show didn't queerbait#also fun headcanons i hold for characters (like trans/bi dean) are separate from how i would actually analyse the actions of dean#i don't think dean is trans i don't think his character reflects a trans narrative#but i make him trans in my fanfic because i can#and i enjoy exploring that potential interpretation of his character even if i don't agree with it necessarily#i'm better at explaining this in person but I watch hannibal and Supernatural over shows with actual representation in them#because it's frequently a more interesting dynamic as someone who doesn't actually enjoy watching romance#this is not to say i don't watch things with queer characters in them and that I don't love to see representation#i nearly cried when the doctor and rogue kissed#and i don't cry for tv shows#i get incredibly excited and happy to see queer representation in anything at all even if i'm never going to watch it#i'm so so happy that shows like heart stopper exist and are popular and mainstream#that's fucking awesome!#but i'm not gonna watch a queer romance for the same reason i'm not gonna watch a straight romance#it's boring once they get together#and i do want to mention that in my head there is a distinct difference between a romance and characters who are together#like hiccup and astrid isn't a romance they are two characters that get together in a story about friendship and standing up for yourself#and others and also it's about fucking dragons put whatever you want in there i will watch it if it's about dragons.#but stoic and valka is a romance BUT THEY DON"T END UP TOGETHER#spn
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lith-myathar · 7 months
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#so#here is the thing#when you've spent most of your life in a very happy relationship with fantasy#the idea of having a relationship in *reality*#well that may not be very happy. might result in feeling like your heart got ripped out your asshole. but even ignoring that#suddenly the amorphous idea of a partner (which can be anything) takes the shape of an actual person#which can very much only be one thing. this feels like doors closing. feels like getting trapped#part of the difficulty here is that i have difficulty not thinking in the long term (this is a defense mechanism apparently) so#even allowing the possibility of being with someone feels confining#because what if the reality is painfully disappointing (like everyone keeps telling me it will be#bc nothing can measure up to the fantasy) and then im trapped between a lifetime of disappointment and breaking somebody's heart#like. fantasy and Yearning leave one empty to a degree but they've kept me *alive*#and how could the reality ever have that same emotional high while also being Safe and in control#also it doesn't hurt anybody#my over the top desire for intensity feels like something nobody's ever going to want to match. too big. too much. unhealthy prolly#even if they did it wouldn't necessarily be a good thing#so. better maybe to quarantine myself to fantasy.#the Rewards of Being Loved tho. i want those.#realistic and rational part of me knows that Those are the Real Good Healthy Thing that will help the pain#but damn if im not attached to my little pet torments#what if i don't want to be healed? does suffering and trauma just sort of get you addicted to the intensity of emotion and then you're jus#chasing that forever? is anything healthy ever going to feel like Enough???#like how do you just ask somebody ''hey do you want to crawl inside each other's rib cages and take everything way too fucking seriously#so we can attempt to maintain a perpetual state of Desire and the subsequent altered state of consciousness until we both die?''#''but in like a chill way?''#like that's *insane*#im insane. is there any way to have both???#ugh. anyway. don't get crushes this sucks.
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dnangelic · 1 year
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what is the truth. schrodinger's normal abnormal boy
#i was going to write a meta but i deleted it all bc i got embarrassed and can't put woRDS TOGETHER IN A SMART/CLEAR WAY#RHGHHH#its in my brain though i swear#its just abt daisuke's juvenile sense of confusion#hes young. hes a lil lost! he goes along with his family's phantom thievery but he doesn't necessarily completely enjoy it#it's complicated. he truly genuinely from the bottom of his heart loves art. but he doesn't necessarily like the stealing aspect#and he'd never ever steal anything deeply precious to anyone. he refuses to hurt anyone's feelings#but also- he's a little out of touch with things too sometimes. he keeps convincing himself he's 'mostly' or 'sorta' or 'pretty much' norma#when hes NEARLY DIED PLENTY OF TIMES thanks to his training#nobody normal comes home to electric doorknobs pitfalls alligators rabid dogs and lasers#his whole family is literally a family of criminals! he has live artworks w bonkers powers in his basement!#his own weird pet rabbit can FLY AND TALK#ud think turning into dark he'd be like 'well this might as well just happen' but in a way dark rlly was the last straw for daisuke#and like. there's nothing normal about any of this oagbdkgfk ESP IN A MODERN AGE!!!#but daisuke a) is a little willfully ignorant of it and b) genuinely ignorant of anything outside of it. bc again. hes a kid!#he doesn't have a lot of friends! he's a loser!#satoshi bringing up the tamers' cycles too. dark and daiki both agreeing that even if things seem fine now#that in the future the niwa and hikari would fight again. the niwa would cause the hikari pain#over and over. daisuke can't stand it. everyone keeps trying to tell him that his life and future is fixed#but if it's not one he agrees with or wants for himself then he's going to reject it#and that goes double for people like satoshi who have to reject krad. their sorrow and pain#bc it doesn't actually produce any beneficial outcome. its just senseless#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.
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leatherbookmark · 2 years
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actually i have discovered the only true and correct reading of md/zs: wgxn are the true Evil Men of mdzs. just look at how they’re dealing with lxc post-guanyin
#'how' = not at all.#it's almost unbelievable how little wwx cares about lxc now that the whole case is over#it's just a fun puzzle for him to solve which isn't necessarily a criticism of him as a character because boy howdy do i Know that he's not#some kinda bleeding heart. but he just... basically explains everything at the end like a triumphant detective in a classic mystery novel#and you have lxc. having JUST found out that jgy was Obviously provoked into violence and that the only reason he went to the temple#instead of making a beeline to the nearest port was to pick up his mother's remains. he's heartbroken and confused#and even the narration is almost cruel in its 'well if jgy's best friend doesn't know then how could the others know?' and then wwx goes#'welp! gotta call people and take care of this coffin mess i think!'#AND THEN wgxn just casually decide not to reveal the VITAL (for lxc) information about jgy to him. because it would make him look#sympathetic. just tell him if he asks lz! i'm soooo tired of this bullshit u_u#what is he supposed to ask about you soggy banana. 'hey didi is there something you didn't tell me about jgy?' like this? like this?#bastards BASTARDS i say. and then they go on to fuck in the bushes without hearing the boring and annoying gossip from the jianghu!#brother? ah forget him. wwx's butt won't fuck itself we've got a busy day ahead#hashtag wgxn hateposting i do what i want it's my blog#like. i understand Dignity and stuff and lwj probably couldn't and wasn't even the type to hug his brother in public and go 'there there'#but he doesn't. he doesn't do a thing. at all#the only thing he says to lxc is 'jgy's killing intent.' that's it. at least in cql he leads him out of the temple and#physically supports him. here? nothing. lxc is repeatedly described as 'not realizing what had happened' 'lost in thought' 'startled'#and even 'in normal circumstances zewu-jun would have immediately understood it'. he is Mentally Unwell. but that's his problem because#he liked the guy we decided was a villain. 😬#shut up shrimp#(i know the bushes of love didn't happen /immediately/ post-guanyin (imagine that though.) but they're fucking haunting me)
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moonlight-prose · 1 month
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THE GRAVE OF LUST
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a/n: this is a very random idea i had of logan not necessarily being able to go at it as he used to. which like yes i love the thought of getting my back snapped by a more energetic logan. this version of him has my heart in ways i'll never be able to explain. it's short but enjoy! divider by the lovely @saradika-graphics.
summary: when his body doesn't work as it used to and the weary bones that poison his soul begin to ache, you take the lead in a dance you know well.
OR giving old man logan sloppy head that he'll think about in the grave and after.
word count: 2k
pairing: old man!logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, weary old man logan, domestic vibes, oral (m receiving), spit kink, cumplay, dirty talk, he may be older but he's filthier, unedited + not betad but we live and die by the fucking pen.
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He doesn't touch you quickly anymore. His hands don't shove clothes off your curves and grasp your flesh with a growl of impatience. No, he no longer holds the stamina of a younger him who could spend hours between your thighs. His bones are weary, old phantom wounds ache where they shouldn't, and he feels himself step closer to his grave with each day that passes.
His hands move at a steady pace, tugging the fabric of your nightgown up inch by inch. Sleep lingers at the edge of his mind. The knowledge that he'll have to get up early with the sun still hidden from the sky. Yet you'll be here asleep—dreaming of his calloused palms on your soft skin. How he burned himself into your ribs with a kiss.
"C'mere," he mumbled, eyes narrowed and lips parted with a deep withered breath. "Let me touch you."
Denial would be a false tale on your tongue. Depriving yourself of him wasn't an option anymore. When times like this were found few and far between and his touch became a lingering memory in the back of your mind.
You couldn't remember the last time you tasted him. The last time he sunk into your wet heat with a solid groan—the muscles of his back screaming as he held his body above yours.
Age was cruel to a man who used to be so virile. He could recall the hours he took to worship your body—mold you beneath the warmth of his palms. But doing that more often wasn't something he was capable of. He still longed for you. The sounds you made, the way your face twisted in pleasure as you came on his cock, fingers, face. He craved it some nights. He felt it eat him alive.
Tonight was no different.
"How?" you breathed, eyes wide and pleading.
You were so fucking sweet he didn't even have to convince you of this. So ready to let him bring you to that peak of bliss. He could smell the heady scent of your pussy—the way it called to him with shouts of need. And if he was a younger man...he'd have you pinned beneath him. He'd hammer his hips into yours until bruises formed beneath the skin—down into the very muscles of your legs.
His graying hair and weathered face did nothing to stop the lust that poured into your face. Your eyes still drooped, mouth open and chest heaving. And Logan was a fortunate fucking man that you were still here.
So unlike his younger self, he let you take the lead.
"Can I touch you?" you asked so nicely. He groaned at the sound of it, jutting his chin down in a nod as you grasped the button of his jeans.
Any other night you'd let him take you. Give into his languid touches until you came wherever he wanted you to come. This was a rarity the longer you spent bound together by the strings of fate.
Logan fucking loved it. He ached for it on days spent away from you—time he'd never get back. But when he'd find his way home and curl his body around yours, he found that sleep was a better option. You'd heartily agree. If it wasn't for the pounding ache between your thighs each time you caught his eye. Each chance you got to see the thick arms and sun kissed skin that lay beneath his white button downs.
"Been dreamin' about this." His voice echoed with a rasp you'd grown to love. One that screamed exhaustion, yet licked a line of heat up your spine. "Such pretty fuckin' lips."
His thumb dug into the curve of your bottom lip, pulling at it until your mouth popped open. Allowing his finger to press against your tongue—saliva building at the thought of getting him in your mouth. Of him using your throat to get himself off.
You didn't even care if you finished. You just wanted to feel him.
"You're my good girl right?" A moan spilled past your spread lips, eyes fluttering when his pants slipped down and cock came free. "Yeah you are."
"Logan," you sighed. He dragged your spit across your cheek; thumb and forefinger gripped your chin to tilt your head close enough to kiss him. Only to hold you there.
"Keep 'em open baby."
The feel of his length throbbing so close to your chest—precum dotting the tip—drove you mad. You wanted him closer. Wanted to feel the bruising ache at the back of your throat as he pushed too far. Your fingers wrapped around him gently, causing him to hiss at your cold touch. The reminder to take it slow, savor him, rang in your ears. Yet the way he looked at you with a feral hunger you felt in your heart shoved those thoughts to the side.
Within his life there's only been a handful of moments he wished he could go back to. Nearly all of them were with you on nights such as this. When the moon hung low in the sky and dawn felt eons away. If he was lucky he wouldn't have to wake up tomorrow, he'd get to wake up naked by your side and bury himself in your pretty cunt.
Logan was rarely lucky.
His spit landed on your tongue, splattering against the corner of your mouth. He led your mouth down with a firm grip until you hovered directly over his cock. The dark red at the tip made you clench around nothing—the ache spreading to the base of your stomach. Screaming for you to take it. Put your mouth on him and make him finish down your throat.
"There we go," he murmured, watching his spit and yours fall from your mouth—landing directly on his twitching cock. "Pretty ain't it."
"Yeah," you gasped, nails digging into the v of his hips. "Can I taste you? Please."
The deep echo of his laugh shot through your body like a bullet. You could feel it burrow deep within, spreading across each nerve ending and vein. Being so close to what you wanted felt like torture, but with Logan you knew it would be worth it in the end. He never left you wanting.
"'Course honey." His hand cupped the back of your neck, leading you with a soft touch. "It's yours."
Yours. Yours. Yours.
With a moan, you wrapped your lips around the head of him—tongue sliding through the slit. A ragged groan tore from his chest, his eyes boring a hole into the side of your face. The knowledge that he was so far gone for you left a pleasant thrill of warmth to grow in your stomach. This strong, capable man would bend at his knees simply to see you smile.
He was your devotee and you'd become his goddess.
"Fuckin' perfect." His words were a spit of need, fingers digging down into your skin with each flick of your tongue.
You merely held him there. In your mouth with spit coating the hand wrapped around the base of him. His taste flooded your mouth, each drop a nectar you would never have enough of. And he let you have your fill. He lay still on the bed, his breaths coupled with moans as you took your time.
Slipping him a bit deeper, you felt his thighs shift beneath you—a shuddered sigh echoing the small bedroom. You'd barely begun and yet he felt the high of dizziness begin to pull at his mind. Effectively killing whatever sleep called out to him.
"Take a little more for me." He sounded gone. Your lips spread into a smile, bobbing your head and swallowing a bit more with each small thrust. "Fuck yeah. Just like that."
He pushed at the back of your throat, your jaw strained under the width of him. Tears spilled from the corner of your eyes, slipping down your cheeks. And he caught them with his thumb, mixing the salt with what spit of his still remained along your skin. Tilting your head slightly, you felt him slip down your throat—your nose finding the graying curls at his base.
The loud growl that ripped through his body was all the reward you needed. He was on the fucking edge. Barely hanging on by the skin of his teeth. And he knew you could tell. His thighs jolted—stomach tensing—and when your hand slipped down to tug at his balls, thumb finding the spot between, he lost it.
Snarling your name, he thrust his hips up into your mouth and felt you choke on him. Your throat constricted perfectly with each cant of his hips down into you. He gave you the opportunity to push him off—get some air down your lungs. You let him keep going—eyes fixed on the way his face screwed up in pleasure. His teeth bared and throat extended.
Another push of your thumb sent him flying over the edge with a shout. The salty tang of him filled your mouth, spilling down your throat with rope after rope of cum. And you swallowed it all despite the searing burn that spread along your esophagus. You took every fucking drop of him and allowed some to remain on your tongue.
To prove that you could take whatever he wanted to give.
"I fuckin' love you," he breathed, cupping your jaw and grinning when you stuck out your tongue—a pool of his spend dripping down your chin.
His fingers scooped it out of your mouth before you could swallow. "Up." He slapped your ass, moving you up and into his lap. "Your turn."
"I’m okay."
The glare he gave you burned its way to your lungs. "Good girls get rewarded." His fingers dipped down beneath your nightgown—pleased to find you bare—and spread his cum along the lips of your pussy. "Don't you want your reward bub?"
"Yes," you whimpered, gripping at his hair. "I do."
"Then take it."
Refusing was no longer an option when the bliss you'd been searching for finally flared to life in your body. His fingers plunged into you, curling and seeking the spot he always found with ease. And with a sharp gasp—your hand yanking at his hair—he knew he'd found it. He smiled at the sight of you. Head back and eyes shut as you fucked yourself on his hand.
"Tell me," he said. Gripping your chin, his lips met yours in a messy kiss of teeth and tongues. He could taste himself in your mouth. His chest rumbled with a soft sigh.
"I love you." The base of his hand ground into your clit, fingers pounding up quicker—faster. And your words pitched high with each thrust.
"I know you do." He kissed your throat, the heat of your body rubbing against his made his cock twitch in interest again. "Love you too baby."
"Fuck!" The coil in your stomach began to unravel rapidly, your body shattering into pieces you'd never find again. And he clutched you tightly to his chest. He watched in rapture at the sight of you shaking, hips bucking against his hand in quick thrusts. "Logan."
Pride bloomed in his chest. "You're perfect."
You collapsed onto his bare chest, spent and exhausted. The final tendrils of pleasure began to ebb out of your body, suddenly replaced by the comfort of him there. You pressed your lips to the center of his chest, teeth dragging along the scarred skin. And he basked in your attention—his hand trailing down your spine to knead the flesh of your ass.
"We should do that more often," you teased, lips finding his in a soft kiss.
He huffed, his eyes falling shut. "I'm too old for that."
"Believe it or not, but you're sexier older."
"Yeah?" He stirred against your stomach. "You like me old and gray?"
"Absolutely."
He smirked, pushing you up his body with slow movements. "Prove it."
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augustinewrites · 4 months
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cw: pregnancy
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“when you said we were sneaking out to go for a ride, i didn't think you meant that,” you sigh, breathless but content as you slump against your husband’s chest.
“deep breaths, darling,” diluc encourages, fingertips brushing down your spine. it makes him think of before, of juvenile fumbling and embarrassment. he’s much less chaste now. confident in his touches and his ability to please you. “why let the horses have all the fun?”
“you’ve been spending too much time with kaeya,” you grumble.
“i agree. it’s why i had to sneak away from his party with you.”
“your party,” you correct, letting him twine your fingers with yours. just like he had earlier, when he’d convinced you to sneak out of the surprise birthday party thrown in his honour. “the guests are likely looking for you.”
diluc’s used to being the center of attention. he doesn't necessarily enjoy it, but his day-to-day is filled with employees searching for his signature or potential clients seeking his participation on new ventures. as the king of the wine industry, he’s possibly the most in-demand person in mondstadt.
but their attention is nothing compared to yours. you’re his favourite person.
“you didn't even make it to the cake,” you add, shifting in his lap. “which means they'll be looking for us soon.”
he brings your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss upon your knuckles and making your heart flutter. “i've already had dessert.”
your face warms considerably against his skin as he chuckles, releasing your hand in favour of slowly smoothing his palm down your side, resting on your hip. he’s more than content to abandon his birthday party entirely in favour of being here in bed, watching the sunset over the fields of your home and bathing you both in golden light.
“well, it’s your birthday party,” you say softly. “even if your actual birthday is two days away, i still want you to have everything you could possibly want. and if what you want is to sneak away from your party to bed me so thoroughly, who am i to argue?”
his heart starts to thump so loudly in his chest that he fears you can hear it. he does want something else, an answer to a question that’s been stifled by shyness, fear, and uncertainty.
“and if i wanted…something else?”
your fingers trace idle patterns across his arm as you hum. “i’d do my best to give it to you.”
he knows you would. which is why he’s been waiting, making sure you want this just as much as he does.
“kaeya said something to me earlier,” he starts.
“please tell me this doesn't end with you hitting him.”
“of course not.” well, not this time. “he asked when i would make him an uncle.”
your movements pause, and diluc wonders if he'd messed up, if it was too soon–
you sit up immediately, grasping his shoulders. “he told you i was pregnant, didn't he? i knew adelaide wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. she’s been knitting baby socks since last week.”
wait.
wait.
“you’re–”
“i wanted it to be a surprise,” you deflate, a frown tugging on your pretty lips. “on your real birthday. adelinde was the only one i told, only because she’d caught me throwing up in the rose bush she’d just pruned and insisted i get checked…”
diluc’s hardly hearing you, your rambling slowing to a stop as he holds your face in his hands.
he needs to hear you say it.
“we’re having a baby?”
you place your hands atop his, nodding. “we’re having a baby, diluc.”
he presses his lips against yours, one firm kiss before he rests his forehead against yours. you are and will always be his favourite person, the only one who could give him a gift as special as this.
_____
BONUS:
“lavender bisque. whispering peach. sweet potato surprise…” adelinde murmurs, hunched over a few sheets of paper.
“what is that? is that the menu for tomorrow’s party?” kaeya asks, peeking over her shoulder.
adelinde sighs, shaking her head. “they're sample colours i had sent over for the nursery.”
“nursery?”
“yes–” the colour drains from the poor woman’s face as she realizes her slip. “oh dear!”
the realization takes a few moments to sink into the cavalry captain’s “my brother had sex?!”
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for @mydiluc aka mrs diluc ragnvindr for listening to my endless rambles...and also diluc bday fic!!!
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seospicybin · 3 months
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TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
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ROUND 1
Lee Know x reader. (s)
Related chapters: Round 2.
Synopsis: Let's play two truths and a lie, and here goes the first thing about you: You want to fuck your roommate's boyfriend, Minho. (9k words)
Author's note: It's a quick one-shot I made like a year ago but pls enjoy it nonetheless 😊
Content warning: Infidelity.
This is how you play two truths and a lie. You share three statements about you, two being true and one false, and people must determine which is which.
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So here goes the first statement: You want to fuck your roommate's boyfriend.
A few months ago, you came to the city for your new job and were placed in a housing with a group of unbearable people. Since you've just started working, you tried looking at another option to get a temporary place to stay until you're financially stable enough to rent an apartment.
Long story short, a friend of a friend introduced you to Kim who happened to have an extra room you can rent. She owns the apartment and does not necessarily need the money, she offered her room for the sole reason which is to help you. You're aware that you don't meet this kind of that is to help you. You're aware that you don't meet this kind of person every day and for that, you're grateful for her.
After a week of living as roommates, you learn that Kim is just as graceful as her occupation, a ballet dancer. She's beautiful, kind-hearted, amicable, and ultimately, a very attentive roommate.
The room you're staying in was supposedly her private dance studio but she uses the living room to practice now and you have to adjust yourself to the huge mirror covering one side of the wall in your room.
Not long after that, Minho comes into the picture. A sharp nose, sharp jaws, and feline eyes, a beautiful face that only reminds you that the world is unfair to some people, including you.
"This is Minho," Kim introduces him with a smile
The second your eyes lock in a gaze with him, you feel an instant attraction and it intensifies as he stares back into your eyes.
"My boyfriend," Kim adds a little too late.
It's funny that the word boyfriend doesn't stop you from being attracted to him, if anything, you want him more than before.
Kim and Minho have been together for two years now and they met at the dance academy which explains a lot of things, including Minho's lean and toned body.
How do you know? Because sometimes he stays over and on more than one occasion, you found him walking out of the bathroom with nothing but a white towel hanging lowly around his waist.
That's also when you learn that this attraction is strictly physical, your uterus is acting up when you see him, and lewd thoughts rush through your head. It's all biological. There's no way you want to pursue him romantically, you couldn't even think of a person more deserving to be with him than Kim. They're both beautiful and talented dancers, oftentimes, you get so envious because they have such a lovely relationship.
Like tonight, you hear their laughter the second you step into the apartment, finding Kim and Minho in the kitchen just casually talking to each other while sharing a bowl of fruits. You love how simple yet endearing their interaction is.
"Hey, you're home!" Kim says with a sweet, welcoming smile.
You wave your hand at her and briefly at Minho, "Hi, everyone!" You awkwardly say, feeling like you're interrupting them.
"Have you had dinner?" Kim asks, attentive as always.
"Yeah, I grabbed dinner after work," you lie, but you can always creep your way to the fridge late at night for dinner.
"There's a pie in the fridge. Help yourself to some dessert," she sweetly offers then shoves a piece of blueberry into her mouth.
Without having to look, you can see how Minho looks at you, he has this deep, intense gaze that makes you the slightest bit intimidated.
"I will, thanks," you hurriedly respond, wanting the interaction to end as soon as possible, "I'll just... get into my room."
"Yeah, you should rest," Kim softly mutters.
You hoist your bag higher on your shoulder and head to your room, before you get in, you mutter to them, "Night, guys."
"Night," Kim cheerily says.
You hurriedly get in and catch a glimpse of Minho with his intense stare a second before the door completely closes and clicks in place.
The trick to surviving the night is to wait until they get into the bedroom and put headphones on as you come out of yours, not only to avoid hearing unwanted noises, but you reckon it's only right to take the extra measure to respect their privacy.
As you're listening and catching glimpses of the movie playing on your phone, you walk around the kitchen to prepare your simple, unhealthy dinner: a cup of noodles and a can of soda.
You're quietly eating your dinner by the kitchen counter with the headphones still on and once you finished, you treat yourself to a slice of pie, then put the rest of the pie back into the fridge.
It gets messy as you're munching on the pie while watching the movie on your phone. The cherry filling gets all over your fingers and you hurriedly lick it off before it gets—
"Oh, my God!" You shriek in surprise, seeing someone standing by the fridge. Once you realize it's Minho, you break into laughter.
"I'm just getting a bottle of water," he says, his face illuminated by the glow of the fridge lights.
"I'm sorry," you say while clutching your chest, and a second later, regret for saying it when he should be the one apologizing.
There's something different in the way Minho looks at you, he has one corner of his mouth raised higher than the other, giving you the impression that he's thinking of filthy things when he looks at you like that. He's giving you that look now and it does certain things to you.
He then stops leaning against the fridge, taking the bottle of water as he walks back to the bedroom, leaving his signature faint smirk on the back of your head.
The signals are there, they're subtle yet constantly pinging, asking you to respond. For now, you're going to ignore it like you always do and continue existing like you're not sharing the same space with him.
-
Statement number two: You believe Minho wants to fuck you too.
At first, you thought you imagined it, you want to fuck him so you started being delusional and thinking that he wants to fuck you too. Once you started paying attention though, you realized that what he's been doing to you meant something or some sort of message he tried to deliver.
The first occurrence that came to your realization is when the two of you were in the kitchen, you were enjoying your yoghurt and he suddenly came behind you to get something from the drawer that happened to be blocked by your body. Instead of telling you to step aside, he made you stand there as his hand curved around your waist to get something out of a drawer.
From there, you noticed a lot of things he did, the way he briefly rested his hand on the small of your back as he walked past behind you, his hand that would often brush a part of your body when the two of you are next to each other or the way he would speak close to your ear as if he's seeking to be close to you. Simply put, he always tries to make physical contact with you.
The scariest part of it is not the possibility that the two of you will eventually get caught, but how unfazed he is even when his girlfriend is there. Like that night where the three of you shared the sofa and somehow, his hand found your shoulder and instead of retreating, he continued to caress the nape of your neck with his knuckle.
However, what happens tonight is what makes you believe that he wants the same thing.
After making sure that you're the only one still awake in the vicinity, you make your way to the bathroom to take a nice, hot shower to help you relax and sleep faster. You skip on using the hairdryer since it'll make too much noise and tiptoe your way back to your bedroom.
In the middle of putting on your clothes, you realize that you left the door ajar and you notice Minho is watching through the reflection in the mirror.
Instead of stopping or rushing to close the door, you pretend to not see him there and continue, turning your body to the side, showcasing every curve of your body through the reflection in the mirror.
You arch your back as you put on the night dress over your head and slowly slip yourself in it, shimmying your body as you pull the dress down with your hands. Then you look at him through the reflection in the mirror and make it known that you're aware of his presence.
From the crooked grin on his face, you can tell that Minho is pleased to be caught watching you and you received his signal loud and clear: He wants to fuck you too.
But sadly, tonight's show is over so you walk to the door and close it.
-
Friday afternoon, Kim barges into your room and she rarely comes into your room without knocking on your door. Seeing that she's carrying a dress in her hand, you guess she needs your opinions on her clothing choices.
You sit on the bed and take your headphones off, "What's up, Kim?"
She stands at the end of the bed and lifts the dress with both hands, "What do you think?" She asks.
It's a mini dress with spaghetti straps in a deep purple color and it's a nice dress, you're just not sure if it fits Kim's style that well, she usually opts for dresses with flaring hem and floral prints.
"It's nice, Kim," you say but skip on giving her the detailed explanation.
She puts the dress close to her body and hugs it, "Do you like it?"
"Yeah," you shortly reply, even though it doesn't fit her style well, it certainly will look good on her.
"Good!" She shortly says, handing the dress to you, "Cause you'll be wearing it.
Somehow, you reach for it and awkwardly hold it in front of you, "W-why? Why me?"
Kim goes to your vanity table and flips open your jewelry box, she holds your earrings one by one to find ones that would match the dress.
"You're coming with me to this party," she says, leaving a lot of details in her answer.
"What party?"
"Party at my friend's," she simply answers, deciding on the gold small hoop earrings.
But that's against your plan, you want to steer clear of Minho and party at Kim's friend means that he'd likely be there too.
"Kim, I don't think that's a good idea," you tell her.
She then leans against the desk in your room and crosses her arm together in front of her, "These past few days you refused to hang out with me so you have to hang out with me tonight."
So Kim knows that you've been purposely avoiding her but you need to explain that it's not because of her, "But that's not—"
"Nuh-uh!" She quickly cuts you off again, "Tonight you're going to the party with me," she decides on her own, not accepting any more excuses from you.
"Is it okay though? I mean... it's your friend's party. I don't want to intrude," you meekly say while playing with the strap of the dress.
"Why would it not be okay?" She says, coming to sit on the edge of the bed, "Besides I want to introduce you to Gaspard."
Maybe you owe this one to Kim and hearing a guy's name piques your interest, "And who is Gaspard?"
"A cute guy," she shortly answers with a sly grin on her heart-shaped face, "And you'll like him."
It's not like Minho's presence would bother you that much and Kim needs you, she wants you there, therefore, as a good roommate, you should be there.
"Yeah, okay, I'm in the mood to meet a cute guy tonight," you tell her, not forgetting to show enthusiasm as well.
"That's the spirit!" Kim says with a wide grin dancing on her face.
Well, since you'll be there and possibly meet Minho, Gaspard better be a cute distraction for real.
-
The taxi pulls up in front of a house and you reckon it's where the party at from how many cars are parked outside and the faint thumping of the music playing inside.
The fact that you get here by taxi only means that there's no Minho so you can relax, for now.
Kim excitedly links her arm with you as you both walk into the house and you expect a party with laid-back music and endless glasses of wine but the second you step inside, upbeat music is blasting from around the house and everyone is having beers from red plastic cups.
The party is not what you imagined it would be, but it's what you need.
Kim cranes her neck to find her friends and once she finds them, she raises her hand to signal her arrival to them.
"Come on! Let's meet my friends!" She says.
Please, God, let him be a cute distraction! You repeatedly mutter in your heart as she drags you with her to meet her friends who are gathered in what you guess is a rec room in the house.
When Kim's friends finally come to sight, you put on a smile as you quietly guess which one of them is Gaspard. Kim goes to hug them one by one before introducing you to them.
"This is Ellie, Jena, Paul..." she introduces her friends back to you one by as the mentioned person warmly greets you.
"And Minho," someone adds from behind you.
You immediately look over your shoulder to see Minho standing there, Kim gently slaps his shoulder in response and laughs.
"This is not a roll call, honey," Kim says with a smile and then leans in to give Minho a quick peck on the lips.
Minho is already here and there's no Gaspard yet. No Gaspard means there'll be no distraction. You keep your smile on even though you're slowly descending into distress.
"There he is!" Kim exclaims, pointing at something behind you.
You reflexively turn on your heels and see a tall man with brown hair, striking green eyes, and a scintillating smile. This man will make the perfect distraction.
Please let this man be Gaspard, you deeply wish inside your heart.
Kim comes to your side and puts her arm around you, "This is the man I told you about," she says.
"I hope you only told her nice things about me," Gaspard says with a sly grin that makes his whole face light up.
The universe heard your plea and decided to make it true for you, this is Gaspard, the perfect distraction you want and need.
"Holyfuck..." you lowly mutter in disbelief.
"What's that?" Kim asks, hearing you saying something but doesn't quite catch it.
You've already forgotten where you are and what you're doing. And Minho? Who is Minho? You let out a chuckle and shake these silly thoughts away.
"So this is Gaspard, huh?" You say in all confidence.
"That is me," he answers, returning the confidence with a wide smile, "I'm better than you expected, I guess?"
Gaspard is confident and then gets shy in the next minute which you find charming, you smile at him and say, "I need more time to decide on that."
"That's fair," Gaspard says, offering his hand at you.
You think he's just going to shake your hand but he takes you into the crowd gathered in the middle of the room, dancing.
"A fair warning, I'm a bad dancer," you warn him as he takes your hands in his and makes you stand facing him.
"We still have time to decide on that," he pokes fun at you, taking you by the waist and pulling you close to his front.
Kim is right, Gaspard is cute and you like him already. He has just the right amount of facial hair and it grazes your cheek whenever he leans in to whisper into your ear, giving you a tingling feeling inside and outside.
After a few moments though, you find yourself panting from dancing with him. You should've known this would happen when you're dancing with a real dancer.
Since Gaspard is way taller than you, you have to put your arm around his shoulder and stand on your tiptoe to whisper to his ear, "Hey, how about we get drinks?"
"Drinks?" He asks you in confirmation since the mix of loud music and chatter is filling the room.
"Yeah," you answer while repeatedly nodding your head.
He doesn't say anything but takes your hand and leads the way through the crowd to the kitchen where bottles of liquor are strewn around on the kitchen island.
You intently watch as Gaspard is excitingly making you his special concoction. He finishes it off with a spritz of lemon before handing it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter in gratitude.
"Come on. Taste it!" He encourages you, curious of what you think of his drink-mixing skill.
Well, you've been staring at it long enough to give him the impression that you hesitate to drink it. You hurriedly take a small sip and you don't even have to lie, it's good.
"Wow!" You gasp, impressed with the drink he made.
"I know," he confidently says with a smirk and drinks his drink.
It's so refreshing and sweet like it has no alcohol at all, you hurriedly take another sip.
"It's really good," you tell him.
"Thank you," he says with a grin.
He then offers his hand at you, "Let's find somewhere to talk?"
You take his hand without question, letting him take you wherever he wants because it seems like he knows where he's going. He leads you to the backyard where everyone is hanging out by the pool.
"Hey, you!"
Recognizing the voice, your head snaps toward the source, and see Kim waving her hand at you from the long sofa that curved around a fancy fireplace.
You stop walking on your track and end up leading Gaspard there. You unconsciously let out a sigh of relief after seeing that there's no Minho there.
"Oh, hey," you greet back.
Kim scoots to the side to make space for you on the sofa, "Where have you guys been?"
"Oh, we were just dancing and he made me a drink," you honestly answer, not forgetting to show her the drink in your hand.
"And where were you going to take her, Gaspard?" Kim asks with eyes squinted at him.
"Anywhere but here," he jokingly answers.
"Well, since you guys just got here, it's your turn to play!" Someone says, you can't remember what her name is but she's one of the friends Kim introduced earlier.
"Turn to play? What?" You ask in confusion.
"Two truths and a lie," someone says.
You feel bad for not being able to remember their names, Gaspard's influence is that powerful on you.
"You know how to play, right?" Kim asks.
It's not about whether you know how to play or not, it's just so unexpected that these talented, gorgeous dancers like to play this kind of game at parties.
"Yes, I do," you answer.
Kim turns on the sofa to face you and looks at you in anticipation, "Okay then. Shoot!"
"Right now?"
"Yes," Kim shortly answers with a chuckle.
You admire their eagerness whether for the game or to know something about you, you rake your brain to think of three things about you and one of them should be a lie that would likely fool them good.
"Okay first is uhm... I'm allergic to cats," you share.
There's no response from them but you can see how they're looking at you and probably every detailed facial expression you make that will give away hints about whether you're lying or not.
"Second thing is my mom has a twin," you confidently share with a faint smile.
"Ah," Kim lowly gasps and you guess because you've shared this information with her before.
"Last thing is..." you look around as you think of the last thing to share with them.
You eventually turn to the side and see Gaspard smiling at you, "I think Gaspard is cute," you share the third thing about you.
"That's the one! That's the lie!" Someone excitedly guesses, and you suddenly remember his name as Paul.
You laugh because Gaspard looks so offended by his friend, "No, it's not a lie," you quickly defend him.
Gaspard shoots him a glare and triumphantly laughs, "Just drink, man!"
Paul drinks his beer in defeat.
"I must say the second one is the lie," the girl says again, still can't remember her name though.
"No. Her mom has a fraternal twin," Kim says, learning that information from you on the first day you moved into her apartment.
"Drink up, Jena!" Kim tells her that she guessed wrong and not wasting time but drinks her beer as a punishment.
"Oh, so you're not allergic to cats?" Gaspard asks.
"No, I'm not. I like cats," you answer.
He then sighs in relief, "That's great because I have a cat."
"Oh, wow?!" You utter in disbelief.
Other than being a great distraction, you share a lot in common with Gaspard and that says something.
"I also have cats," someone adds, joining in on the circle.
You can tell by the voice that it's the man you've been trying to avoid seeing tonight. You remain calm and have a sip of your drink.
"Yes, Minho, we all know you're a cat daddy," Jena says, finally knowing her name from Kim.
Kim groans and tosses a cushion at Jena, "Don't say that!"
Minho takes a gulp of Kim's drink and sits with his back reclined and his legs spread open, even his sitting position oozing with confidence and you eat that shit up.
You feel like slapping your face at that thought and have another sip to swallow that thought down.
"Is it my turn to play?" Minho asks around.
Jena shrugs since no one is taking the turn to play, "Yeah, sure, go ahead."
Minho softly scratches his chin before speaking, "I want to kiss someone tonight."
He starts easy but from the faint smirk on his face, you can tell he's brewing something in his mind.
"That someone is not my girlfriend," he calmly says.
Welp, there you go! Minho acts like he didn't just drop a shocking statement while his girlfriend is sitting prettily next to him.
You glance at Kim and she looks calm, but you can see that her jaws are slightly clenched. She's not happy so Minho should stop it.
But instead of calming his girlfriend, Minho looks at you and continues to share the third statement, "The person I want to kiss is one of you."
Your heart skips a beat because he keeps looking right at you and making it obvious for everyone to see who it is. All of a sudden, you feel the urge to exit this scene but walking out only makes it even more obvious.
Minho is sick of doing this to you and Kim, it's like he doesn't even care what it can do to either you or Kim.
"Oh, Minho, that's..." Paul hisses, not able to finish his sentence.
"Why, Paul?" Minho daringly asks him.
"Nothing," Paul says while scratching his head.
Minho leans forward and says, "It's you, Paul. It's you who I want to kiss."
Paul's tense face melts in a second and everyone bursts out laughing, "Fuck you, man!"
"It's you. I want to kiss you," Minho taunts him more, throwing himself at him and jokingly tries to kiss him.
Paul keeps pushing him away, sloshing his drink as he tries to dodge Minho's kiss while everyone else is laughing at them.
Even though it turns out to be a joke, you feel sick in the stomach and feel the need to get out of here.
"I need to go to the restroom," you mutter, getting up from the sofa.
Gaspard puts down his drink, "I can show you—"
"It's okay. I can go by myself," you tell him off, you regret being so crass but you're sure he'll understand.
"Okay," he says, sitting back down on the sofa.
While clutching the hem of your dress, you head back inside the house and find the bathroom to only queue to get inside, you decide to try on the second floor. You can easily find the bathroom as it's wedged between two bedrooms.
It's a party, you're sure the host would be okay with you using their bathroom, you don't even need to pee or something, you just need a space to vent.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you keep muttering to the reflection in the mirror.
When you touch your neck, you can feel a sheen of sweat there so you run your hands under the cold water and tap it to your neck.
This is the first time you realize what it'll do to you when it comes to following your desire. You'll ruin not only their relationship but also your friendship with Kim and she's been nothing but good to you.
"Fuck!" You mutter once again as you splash cold water on your face like it would help to put some sense into you.
Coming here was a bad idea!
But you're already here so you only need to stick to your plan, staying away from Minho and sticking with Gaspard. You allow yourself to spend a few more minutes just to compose yourself before coming out of the bathroom.
As you're about to climb down the stairs, the plan comes to a failure.
You see Minho is coming up the stairs and he seems to be looking for you as well from the way he stops once he finds you.
Instead of avoiding him as you planned, you feel the need to confront him about what happened a while ago. You grab the front of his shirt and take him into one of the bedrooms. The first one is locked so you try the other one and it's empty.
Once both of you are inside, you slam the door shut and push him against it.
"What the hell are you doing?" You aggressively ask, pushing his chest until his back hits the door.
"What? What am I doing?" He plays innocent but that smirk knows it all.
You slap his chest with both of your hands now but all you can feel is how firm his pecs are.
"You just don't care, do you?"
He puts his hands on each side of your waist and draws you closer, not hesitating to plant his mouth on your jaw.
"Minho!" You whine, ending up getting trapped in his hold with his arms wrapped tightly around you.
He glides his lips up and presses a kiss there on the skin under your ear, sending a tingling down your spine as his warm breath brushes your skin.
You helplessly dodge away from his lips yet somehow, he manages to capture your lips in a kiss and oh, you hate it so much! You hate how you like the way he kisses you, so passionately and hungrily, he makes it known that he wants it so much.
Okay, maybe the kiss is a slip-up and you hurriedly pull yourself out of it. You push him and pull away from the kiss.
"You know we can't do this," you mutter but you're looking at his lips, tempted to kiss him again.
He ignores your words and kisses you again, and you fall into it again. You try harder this time and break the kiss.
"Minho!" You whine, looking away to not let the temptation win again.
Using it as an opportunity, Minho plants his mouth on your ear and nibbles on it, peeling a layer off of your sanity which brings you to slip down the slope again.
Your lips are colliding again, harder and deeper, causing even more damage than the previous one as his hands go all over you and pull the straps of your dress down your shoulders.
The two logics in your head are clashing against each other, the one wants to satisfy this desire and the other wants to get out of this situation altogether. If you follow the former then at least, your curiosity will be fulfilled and if you follow the latter, then you get to keep the peace.
As you are caught in that inner battle, you blank out and stiffen against him.
"We have to stop," you mutter to him.
But is that what you want? To stop when you already have your toes dipped in the water?
Minho also takes a moment to assess the situation, he looks at you with his lips red and wet, "it has to stop," he says in agreement.
You take a step back and feel the sudden detachment as he lets go of you and you can't believe that he agrees right away that this is the better decision. You can't help but think that he doesn't want you enough.
He stays standing there, leaning against the door and looking at you with his eyes dark and wide with lust.
"So what do we do now?"
That's such a wrong thing to ask you because what you want to do now is be selfish for the night, for one fucking night, and if you're going to do it, you may as well go all in, right?
Take the chance or pass? Right or wrong? Continue or stop? Now or never?
"Fuck!" you heavily sigh and take down the straps of your dress, sending your breasts spilling out of the front.
"Suck my tits," you order.
It takes Minho a moment to process it and when he finally catches on that you've made up your mind, he goes for it. He comes at you full speed, hands off the brake and head first.
His mouth lathers at your breasts before sucking at them like you asked, taking them in turns, and leaving them wet with his saliva.
"Nibble on my nipples," you command.
You look down to watch him obeying you, using his tongue to nibble on your blossoming buds and alternating it with his teeth next.
"Oh, fuck," you breathlessly mutter as he sucks hard on your nipple.
While his mouth is busy latching on your breasts, his hands are snaking to the back and kneading at your asscheeks, caressing them with his fingers, and teasing your underwear.
This feels so wrong yet so good, you have your inner battle still but your logic is being defeated by your body's needs. You pull him by the shoulder and make him kiss you again so you'll stop thinking.
The rattles on the door startle you both and Minho immediately pushes the door with his back, then holds the knob to not let anyone in. Whoever tries to get it seems to figure out that the room is occupied.
"Sorry," someone says from behind the door.
Minho immediately locks the door while you take a step back from him, he gives you that look again, the kind of look that sees right through you and knows that you feel conflicted inside.
"Kim is my good friend," you tell him, feeling a pang of sadness in your chest that it aches.
He comes at you again and kisses you in which you're returning with the same eagerness. He seems to know that it's the only way to make you stop talking and thinking altogether. He pulls you closer than before his hands snaking to your rear, cupping the ample flesh in his hand.
"This is terrible," you mutter as you break the kiss so you can take your underwear off.
"This is terrible..." you mutter again, pulling him close by the waistband of his jeans and proceeding to unzip his fly open, "Betraying her like this."
It's like your body has a mind of its own, it's doing the opposite of what you're saying.
You impatiently take his semi-hard out of its confine and stroke it in your hand, "terrible," you emphasize the word and nail it deep into your head.
Minho doesn't say anything but follows what your body wants, he kisses you again, sloppily with his hands mindlessly roaming around your body.
"Touch me there," you whisper into him.
Without looking, his hand knows where to go. It goes to where you want him to be, going to the front to that wetness between your legs.
"Put your fingers in."
Minho runs his fingers down your slit repeatedly before inserting his finger into you. One digit is enough to make you moan in pleasure as he pumps it in and out of you.
"Add one more."
He draws his finger out and brings his index and middle fingers, shoving them into your mouth to wet them with your saliva. He brings them back to your entrance and slowly pushes them inside.
"Fuck, oh..." you moan, burying your head in his neck.
Two fingers are going in and out of you and you're already losing it. You start to think of what his cock would be like inside you as it feels hot and hard in your hand, pulsating with so much desire.
His lips nestle in your neck, kissing and lightly sucking on the skin as your body clings to him for support.
"Curl them— Oh!"
Minho knows what to do, he curls his fingers and carefully finds that spot that makes you whine and moan at the same time, and the lewd noise echoes in the dimly lit room.
You look over your shoulder to locate the bed and start steering his body there, walking backward without having to take hands off of each other.
He slowly pulls out and breaks the kiss only to pull your dress up, making the dress hunched around your waist. You plop down onto the bed and get on, you take a moment to continue undoing his jeans and pull it down enough to let his erection free.
Without thinking, you put his cock into your mouth, take him as much as you can and compensate for the rest you can't take with your hand. You lick and suck, alternating those two as you enjoy every inch of his delicious length with your mouth.
Minho tangles his hand in your hair and gently tugs at it, "I feel so guilty," he says.
Oh, so he's not that selfish after all but the thought of him thinking of his girlfriend with his cock deep in your mouth doesn't make you jealous at all, it makes you feel more aroused than before.
"Oh, so guilty," he says between his hoarse, low moans as he stares back into your eyes.
You slowly pull away and replace your mouth with your hand, restlessly pumping his swollen cock.
"You should be," you tell him, sticking your tongue out of your mouth and swirling it around the pink tip of his cock.
All of a sudden, he grabs your hand and takes it away from his length, he then takes your other hand to pin it against the bed. He hovers above you as he kisses you again, his tongue prying open your mouth to taste more of you.
You can feel him rubbing his length between your folds and you spread your legs open so he can do it more, making you drenched than you already are.
It's obvious to you now that you want him, you want him so bad and what you want is only inches away from you, and you can feel how much he wants you.
"Put it in," you breathlessly say against his lips.
Minho wastes no time to position himself between your legs. He then holds his cock, lubricating it with your essence and giving it a few pumps to finally aims it toward your entrance.
The more time he takes to be inside you, the more impatient you get.
"Put it deep inside me," you demand, opening your legs wider for him.
Yet Minho keeps teasing your entrance, heightening your anticipation and the tension in the room, making you arching your back at him.
When he finally pushes in, he only inserts the tip. It's just the tip but Gosh! It feels good already when he starts thrusting at a slow, steady pace.
"That's it," you say, keeping your waist afloat to take more of him, "all the way in."
Minho is just as impatient. He takes your wish as his command and pushes the rest of his length into you, hitting you deep inside that you blank out and you can't hear your own scream of pleasure.
It only registered to you now that it's all real once you take a look at how his cock is fully buried deep inside you and there's nothing like the feeling of finally having your desire fulfilled. Minho feels so good inside you, every inch of his length fills you perfectly like he was made just for you.
"Oh..." you loudly moan as he starts moving.
You're in and out of you at how hard he's thrusting into you that it reverberates throughout your body and in the middle of it, you manage to look at him, his face is masked with pleasure from the way his eyes are half shut and his lips pressed together.
Maybe the two of you want it so much that the sex feels rushed and a little rough, almost animalistic even. You can feel you're about to cum and so is he.
"Don't cum inside," you warn him before bringing his head close for a sloppy kiss on his lips.
In return, Minho goes sloppy with his thrusts that the bed quakes along with his movements and you're gripping the sheet to hold on to. He's twitching inside you and your legs are shaking. The knot in your stomach keeps tightening and you feel like exploding at any minute now.
He incessantly thrusts into you while you keep gripping the sheet, he probably senses that you're on the brink of climaxing and takes you there, sending you into your release with your eyes screwed shut, seeing white. He cums not long after you and keeps himself deep into you, completely forgetting your warning.
When it occurs to you that he completely forgot about your warning, you slowly push him away and force him to pull out of you.
"I told you not to cum inside," you whine.
Minho's eyes fixated on the way his cum drips out of you, pearly white and glistening wet, inviting him to taste. He finds a way to solve it by settling his head between your legs and licking your mixed juices off of your cunt and not hesitating to swallow it. He sucks on your gushing hole before using his tongue to insert it, he makes sure to not leave any drop of his cum in you.
Watching him eating you and swallowing his own cum is getting you off in the best way, you suddenly don't mind it that much that he cum inside you. If anything, you want him to fill you so you get to watch him do it all over again.
"Stop, Minho! Stop!" You tell him, tugging at his hair to stop him from diving further into your wetness.
He abruptly stops and lifts his head with his mouth and chin glistening wet with your essence. You grab him by the front of his shirt and make him hover above you again. You know you already got what you want and it's time to stop.
What are you going to do now? You ask yourself.
Seize the chance. This is probably the last time you ever had this chance and this could be the one and only chance. You roll him over and straddle him, thinking of having him again for the last time, selfishly.
Taking a moment for this could be the only chance you get to do it, you look at him and his beautiful face, and you allow yourself to kiss his lips. You're running your hands down his clothed chest and patiently unbuttoning his shirt, then part it open to reveal his toned upper half body.
It's only fair if you get to touch him all over too so you do it, using your hands and your lips next, it's just you and miles and miles of his warm, honey skin.
Minho lets you do everything as he lays on his back, watches you kissing every inch of his abdomen, and eventually has him in your mouth again. He props his hands against the bed to see how your lips wrapped around his cock.
After a while, you suddenly pull out and gasp for air, "We have to stop."
He sits up on the bed and puts your hair away from your face, "But I don't want to stop," he says, then continues putting your hair away to the back so he can kiss your neck, chest, and breasts.
They're just words, they've been just words that you say in vain and have no effect to make you stop whatsoever. You only say that just to remind you that this feels so wrong but it feels good to do it.
You sit on his lap and position his cock at your entrance again, slowly, you lower yourself on him. You let out a mewl as you take him in little by little, feeling his girth stretching you out.
"Do you want to stop?" He asks you with his hands cradling your head in between.
"We have to," you sigh with your eyes closed, overwhelmed by his cock that buries deep inside you.
"I don't want to," he breathlessly says, holding you by the waist, guiding you to start moving.
Putting your arms around his shoulders for support, you're switching between pulsating and rolling your hips around him as he latches his lips on your neck and chest.
Somehow, he feels bigger and harder inside you, and he fills you better, therefore, you just want to keep feeling his length around you. However, in the middle of it, your logic fights to come out of you.
"This is wrong," you breathlessly mutter.
"Mmh-hmm," he hums against your lips, mindlessly answering to you.
"This is so wrong, Minho," you say again as you keep moving to chase your high.
If this is wrong then why it feels so good? If this is wrong then you never want to be right. If this is wrong then you want to be a sinner, forever.
"Oh, I can't do this anymore," you cry, it's unclear whether it's the body or your conscience speaking.
"Keep going, keep going," he repeatedly mutters through his gritted teeth, watching you bouncing on his cock.
The sex is more intense and harder than the previous one, you keep holding your breath even though you're running out of air. Your nails dug into his skin, your mouth locked with his lips, and you feel a sheen of sweat forming on your skin.
It all comes down to the one moment when everything hits you all at once. Other than the wave of dopamine and oxytocin that surge through your body, you feel good, you feel light and happy, but underneath that, you feel that bitter feeling, guilt that is gnawing and eating you alive from the inside.
You open your eyes and find Minho looking at you with a soft gaze and it feels tender that you feel like crying, or you're about to as you feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
"Oh, God! What have I done?" You roughly brush the hair stuck to your moist forehead.
"It's okay," Minho says, trying to justify this act of betrayal.
"Oh, my God!" You press the heels of your palms to your eyes to stop you from crying.
Minho gently holds your chin and softly presses a kiss on your lips as if he's trying to take the pain away but that's useless because you caused this yourself and he's a part of the problem.
But his kiss no longer holds the same effect, you feel restless the more he kisses you so you slowly pull away and keep a safe space between you and him.
"Let's just stop," you say with a sigh and then rush to get off his lap. You lowly gasp from the sudden emptiness and once your feet touch the floor, you're staggering backward.
Then, you feel it, his hot cum that drips out of you and down your inner thigh.
"I can help you with that," Minho offers.
You immediately hold your hand up at him and firmly say, "Just stop!"
You start fixing your dress, putting your arm in the straps, and pulling them to your shoulders. You look around for your underwear and once you find it, you put it on.
"Kim can't know about this," you meekly say as you pull the hem of your dress and smooth them down.
There's no looking back at it now. You've got what you wanted and now it's time to move on. You turn the door knob and head out without saying anything else.
Rejoining the party downstairs, you immediately head to the kitchen to get a drink but on the way there, someone catches you by the hand.
"Come, dance with me!" Kim says with a grin, pulling you with her to the middle of the room.
"Kim, I–" you can't find anything to say to her without the guilt clogging your throat, "I need a drink."
"Here. Have mine!" She hands you her cup.
"I'll get us drinks and get back to you, okay?" You kindly refuse her but she won't let go of your hand.
"Oh, come on, it's my favorite song!" She pleads with her puppy eyes, making you feel worse than you already are.
Seeing her and how oblivious she is to what you and Minho have done is breaking your heart.
That brings you to the third and last statement: That will be the first and the last time you've had sex with Minho.
-
Things are going back to normal. Or that's what it seems to you.
You're still roommates with Kim and she's still oblivious about what you and Minho did behind her back which means he keeps true to his promise.
And yes, he still comes to the apartment but it doesn't bother you as it used to. You learn that your friendship with Kim is far more valuable than his boyfriend's cock, in fact, you've been taking her kindness for granted.
So for these past few days, you've been trying to avoid them as much as possible. You purposely come home late from work and if you do find them together in the apartment, you make excuses to stay in your bedroom.
Fewer interactions means fewer chances of this guilt from bringing you down further.
The new plan is to get your own place as soon as possible and for that to happen, you have to start looking for it.
Today, Gaspard offers to help you check a few places and it's also the perfect getaway than staying in the apartment. You quietly get dressed and slip out of your bedroom to find Kim catches you while dunking her teabag into her cup.
"Where are you going?" She asks.
You don't want to tell her about it yet that you plan on moving out soon so you make up an excuse on the spot, "Just getting a few things for work, yeah," you lie.
She tosses the teabag into the trash and uses a spoon to stir it, "Just getting a few things for work, huh?"
"Yeah, I need new work shoes," you lie again, seamlessly this time.
"And you think you don't need my help?"
"No, no," you hastily reply, "I just know how much you like staying in on the weekends."
"I would to go out on the weekend too."
Kim keeps misunderstanding you so you decide to tell her, "I'm going out with Gaspard," you admit, but keep the details from her.
Kim lets out a laugh and puts down her cup of tea, "Oh, my God! Why did you lie about it?"
"I don't know. It feels weird," you awkwardly answer.
"Why would it be weird? Cause he's my friend?"
"Yeah..." you meekly say.
She laughs again and comes up to you, "Why would it be weird that my roommate is going out with my good friend?"
That's true, this is nothing compared to fucking your roommate's boyfriend. You swallow the guilt that crawls out of your throat.
"I can lend you my shoes to match it with that cute dress?" She offers, kind as always.
"No, it's fine. It's comfortable this way," you say, opting for the sneakers you're wearing since you're going to do a lot of walking today.
"As long as you're comfortable," she says, fixing your hair as she speaks.
The front door opens and the two of you are turning your heads to see who's coming, it's none other than Minho. You hurriedly sling your purse around your shoulder and ready to leave.
"I'd better get going," you tell Kim, giving her a quick hug.
"You can come home as late as you want," she jokingly says as she hugs you back, "Actually, don't bother coming home tonight."
You laugh it off and pull away while ignoring Minho who walks to the kitchen to get something out of the fridge. You head for the door and wave bye at Kim before getting out.
-
The search for a new place comes to fruition, you have two potential living spaces but the only problem is you can't afford the rent, yet.
You end the day with a hearty dinner also as a treat for Gaspard for being so helpful and patient with you. He's simply a great guy to be with and you wonder why didn't you want to fuck him instead of Minho.
Oh fuck, you think about Minho again and it reminds you that he's in the apartment now so you stay out as late as you can. You consider Gaspard's offer to come and visit his place but you don't want to give him the impression that this is a date.
It's too casual to be counted as a date in the first place but you make sure to promise him a proper one next time.
"Maybe next time when I'm not sweaty and the day is not as humid as today," you kindly refuse the offer.
"I agree," he says as his hair turns a lot curler in this humidity and shyly brushes it to the back.
He walks you to the entrance of your apartment building and you turn on your feet to face him, "Thank you for today," you sincerely say.
"No worries. I had fun today," he coyly says with a smile.
You know he wants to kiss you and you want to kiss him too because he's just so attractive and fun to be with, he's a great guy... you can list so many reasons why you should kiss him so you muster up the courage to do it.
You stand on your tiptoe and press a kiss on his lips, putting your hand on his shoulder for support and Gaspard returns the kiss with so much gentleness with his hand cupping your jaw.
In the middle of it, you come to a realization that you kiss him for so many reasons but not because you like him. You slowly pull away from the kiss and quickly put on a smile for him.
"Goodnight, Gaspard," you mutter.
He allows himself to place a gentle caress on your cheek and smiles back at you as he says back, "Goodnight!"
The walk back to the apartment feels like a punishment. At least, it's late enough that you're sure Kim is already asleep by now so you quietly unlock the door, pushing it open without making any noise, and walk through the living room until you get to the safety of your room.
You kick your shoes off, throw your purse onto the bed, and take off your jacket, just standing there in your dress facing the huge mirror with your reflection staring back at you.
"Do you need help with that?" Minho asks through the cracks of your door.
You hate it that he's still here and you're happy to see him, you're not answering but he comes to your aid anyway. He stands right behind you and slowly unzips your dress for you.
It must be intentional the way his knuckles graze your skin as he pulls the zipper down your back.
The memories from that night come back to you and unlock all the feelings that you try to keep at the bottom of your heart.
Minho then places his hand on your shoulder and looks at you through the mirror, "Do you need help with anything else?" He asks with a voice so low it's almost like a whisper.
You turn your head to the side and meet his gaze, "No."
All sorts of thoughts come rushing through your head but it's the same contradicting questions: Take the chance or pass? Right or wrong? Continue or stop? Now or never?
Those questions going around your head and won't stop bothering you until you make up your mind.
You turn around to face him and notice how close he's standing in front of you, so close that you can feel the heat his body is emitting.
"But I'll help myself," you say and then kiss him.
Well, you guess people can tell which one is the lie now.
-
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ceilidhtransing · 3 months
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I've cropped out the username because I have absolutely no desire to start drama or make a personal “callout” or have people go harass someone or anything like that (and if you take this kind of thing as an opportunity to go and be horrible to another Tumblr user then that is terrible and you should stop), but wow, I have never seen such a clanging example of amatonormativity. I don't think OP necessarily meant it this way, I don't think they meant any harm, I don't think they're consciously arophobic or something - it's far more likely that they're simply unfamiliar with aspec issues, and I always prefer to assume good faith - but I want to talk about this post anyway because it provides a really good and explicit example of the way society just sort of... asserts the centrality of romantic attraction and entirely forgets aromantic people exist.
I do want to first say that I actually agree with the initial point this post is making. Romance as a genre is unfairly derided as some kind of “lesser” form of art, and this derision very frequently comes with generous helpings of misogyny. I totally agree that romance is not at all an unintellectual or superficial thing to write about, and it's bad that it gets treated that way and that readers and writers of romance get so often mocked and condemned. Romance is a totally valid genre and enjoying it doesn't make you vain or stupid or superficial.
HOWEVER. As an aromantic person I find the rest of the post just... I don't know, it's just so perfect as a probably unwitting expression of baked-in cultural amatonormativity. It's brilliant. It's so funny to me. I can almost do a line-by-line breakdown of the way it so completely forgets the existence of aromantic people. In fact, let's do that.
It is so fundamental to us. The issue here should be pretty obvious. The assumption that romance is some integral part of The Human Experience and that it's fundamental to All People is pretty much amatonormativity 101. It reinforces the idea that people who don't experience romantic attraction are “lacking”, forever sitting apart from The Human Experience, and possibly in some way not quite fully human, since we don't experience the thing that is apparently so fundamental to humans.
To want to love and be loved. The post seems to be incorrectly equating “romance” with “loving and being loved”, when in fact there are many people who don't experience romantic attraction yet absolutely love and want to be loved. (And of course loveless aros, aplatonic people, various folks who don't “want to love and be loved” also exist, and it's important to emphasise that this desire, just like romantic attraction, is also not necessarily integral to all people.) “Love” is not automatically “romantic love”, but this post seems to imply that romance is the only, or default, form in which love can exist.
If you don't think every great work of literature. philosophy. metaphysics. was ultimately about romance. I don't think you were paying enough attention. OK this is the line that elevated this post from “sigh, more casual amatonormativity to scroll past” to “I just have to respond to this”. Where to even begin with this assertion. This is a level of “assuming romance is central to everything humans ever do and ever create” that I've almost never encountered before. It feels like a manifestation of the tendency for alloromantic people to declare that, because romance is very central for them, it is thus central to Everything. And I'm homing in on “romance” because the post doesn't say “ultimately about love” - which would still be a reach, but less of a reach - it specifically says “ultimately about romance”. As an aromantic person who is an academic at heart and highly educated in the humanities and social sciences, the idea that my ability to understand literature and philosophy and metaphysics is somehow greatly hampered by the fact that I don't experience or relate to romantic attraction is just... what??? This idea is really very funny to me but also genuinely pretty insulting, even though I'm sure it wasn't meant that way. Not only does it feel like the summation of every patronising “oh, you couldn't possibly understand” directed to aromantic adults who are, in fact, entirely capable of understanding, but it also flattens the incredible breadth of human intellectual experience into “being about romance”. I sometimes find myself wishing that alloromantic people would peak outside the bubble of amatonormativity and realise that actually, there is an enormous swathe of human experience and intellect and creativity and expression that has nothing at all to do with romantic attraction and romantic relationships. And no, stating that, I don't know, the Book of Job is not actually about romance has nothing to do with our society's misogynistic denigration of romance as a genre; it has everything to do with the fact that the Book of Job is not actually about romance. (And if you aren't familiar with Job or for some reason don't consider it a “great work of literature”, replace with whatever other example you can think of; there are many.) It's insulting to imply that aro-spec and/or ace-spec people are somehow less able to participate in art and literature and philosophy etc because we might bring a perspective that doesn't include romance or sex at all and we're just not capable of understanding that Actually Romance And/Or Sex Is Central To Everything. It's genuinely absurd to argue that all the pinnacles of human intellectual achievement really, at their core, come back to romance, and it speaks to our very blinkered society's tendency to declare things like “everything is really about sex” or “everything is really about romance” or “everything is really about breakups” or whatever and then look at aro-spec and ace-spec people like we're aliens and go “but like... how do you even live?” Newsflash, there is so much more to life than romance and love and sex. You can live an entire, very fulfilling, very meaningful, very thoughtful life without these things being at all relevant to you. That's not to dismiss those things as minor or unimportant - they are indeed very central to a lot of people's lives, and they're not “dumb” or “shallow” or whatever - but they're not central to everyone's lives, and they're hardly The Only Things In The World.
And if your response is something along the lines of “well OK there's a tiny minority of people who don't engage with romance and/or sex, or relate to it in the same way most people do, but that doesn't mean that romance isn't still at the core of humanity, or that all the most important things don't still have romance at their heart”, imagine telling a woman that “well, you can focus on a career if you want, but what's really fundamental to being a woman is being a wife and mother - in fact, motherhood is the most important thing in the world, it's fundamental to women, it's what all women's literature is about”. Or, hell, telling a person of any gender that “parenthood” is the central pillar of all of humanity and that every great work of art ever produced is ultimately about parenthood and obviously parenthood is fundamental to everyone's being - forgetting that actually some people will never be parents, and implying that their childlessness makes them less able to understand The Human Experience. That might give you some small idea of what it's like to be an aspec person and be repeatedly told that feelings you don't experience and relationships you don't have and attractions you don't relate to and acts you don't engage in are somehow Fundamental To Humanity and are what lie at The Core Of Everything: how excluding that is, how alienating that is, how oppressively stifling that is.
Feeling that love and/or romance and/or sex are very important to your own life is totally valid, but I wish alloromantics and allosexuals could be more capable of opening their minds and imagining and empathising with an existence for which these things aren't central. Our lives aren't lesser, or emptier, or sadder, or shallower for lack of romance or sex. Our experiences are part of The Human Experience. Our perspectives on art and life and relationships and philosophy and humanity and everything else are just as valid. We are just as capable of profundity, of creativity, of insight - because romance and sex aren't “at the core” of any of these things. We are here, and we're tired of being forgotten, ignored, sidelined, dismissed, erased, talked over, talked past. It would be great if society at large actually remembered we exist once in a while, and that our lives are just as beautiful and important as anyone else's.
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darkbluekies · 6 months
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OMG SILAS WEDDING? YES PLZ THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD
Saying 'I do' is like a death sentence
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Yandere!mafia OC x reader
Sumamry: Silas gets you to marry him
Warnings: threats, mentions of murder, guns, forced marriage, dubcon kiss?, violence, mentions of punishment, trauma from said punishments, possessiveness, jealousy, family drama
Word count: 3.5k
Things have been awfully quiet these last days and you've noticed a certain spark in Silas’s eyes. You didn't think much of it before seeing his second in command — whose eyes are normally dead — light up. But no one has talked to you.
You’re sitting in the window, looking out over the front yard and the houses down the street. You’ve seen school children come home from school and their parents join them with grocery bags. They’re living so … normally.
There's a knock on the door, which makes you even more confused. Silas doesn't knock on his own bedroom door. His second in command walks in.
“Y/N, you're going to come with me”, he says.
“Why?” you question.
“You will see. Come.”
You hesitate. Silas has told you countless times to never listen to any of his men, never walk somewhere with them. The only one you should listen to is Silas, the only one you should ever walk somewhere with is Silas. He has tested you before to see if you would leave the house with any of his members … and you’ve been greatly punished for it.
But Silas’s trusts his second in command … you know that he would never betray Silas.
“You don’t need to be afraid”, the second in command says and waves at you to come over.
“I don’t want to be punished …”, you whisper.
He takes a step forward. You press yourself closer to the window. It’s another trap, you’re certain of it. Silas is standing outside the room, waiting for you to take the bait. This is the final level, to see if you would listen to the man he trusts the most, one that you think that you can listen to. You shake your head quickly.
“Y/N, you can trust me”, his second in command says and puts his hand on his chest. “I swear on my mother’s life that I won’t get you into trouble.”
“Has Silas told you to get me?” you question carefully.
“Yes.”
Slowly, you get down from the window and walk over to him. He puts his hand on your back to guide you out of the room, into the corridor and down the stairs. Your heart is beating loudly against your ribs. What if the second in command is lying?
“Where is he?” you ask as you make your way down to the first floor.
“I am taking you to him”, the second in command says calmly.
You stop and turn to him. “Please promise me that this isn’t a test, and that I’m not going to get punished.”
“Y/N, I’m not lying to you. Silas have asked me personally to drive you to him.”
“Why?”
“You will find out once we get there.”
“Okay …”
You follow him out to a car. He holds the backseat door open and lets you jump in.
“Put on a seatbelt or else Silas will kill me”, he tells you.
You pull the seatbelt over your body and clicks it into place while the second in command walks around the car to sit down in the driver’s seat. You watch the houses as you drive by.
“I really thought that this was going to be one of those tests …”, you admitted hesitantly while scratching your nails. “I really don’t want to go down to the basement again.”
“I understand that.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Depends.”
“Don’t you ever feel bad for … what happens in the basement? To any of the people unfortunate to end down there?”
“Not necessarily. Most of the people that gets thrown down there has done something to deserve it. You see, Y/N, Silas never hurts anyone without a reason. If he could have it his way he wouldn’t hurt anyone, but people are stupid enough to cross and challenge him.”
“What would he do without it? Isn’t that how you’re supposed to survive and climb the ladder in this world?”
“He would do his business and trading without hurting anyone. In a perfect world, people pay on time and doesn’t try to steal territory. No human likes hurting anyone else — unless they’re psychopaths, but that’s rare. Even the most gruesome killers have guilt.”
“But how can he hurt someone he loves? I could never do what he does to someone I love.”
“I won’t meddle in your relationship, because that’s not my business, but things aren’t black and white.”
“I wish things could be colorful for once.”
The second in command sighs and turns on the radio. You listen to the music as the landscape outside the car swishes by. You don’t recognise anything, except for a supermarket chain that you used to shop at. Soon, you start to think that the silence between you two feels sickening. You can’t stop thinking about what awaits you once the car stops.
“I know that you’re not allowed to actually conversate with me, but can we just … talk about anything?” you sigh and shrug while trying to find a suitable conversation topic. “Could be about the weather.”
“The weather?” the second in command scoffs and smiles in amusement. “Fuck no.”
“How far is it left?”
“Around fifteen minutes.”
“You don't talk much normally, don't you?”
“I talk when I have important things to say. Otherwise, why should I? I get paid to act, not to talk.”
“I don’t get paid at all.”
The second in command tugs at his smile. “You still have it better than the majority of us.”
When the car finally stops, you look around to see that you’re by the beach. The second in command opens the door for you and helps you out. You look around and feel your heart sink when you see where Silas is, and what’s surrounding him. Candles and flower petals. You stop right in your tracks as you go stone cold. You’ve feared for this day.
“What are you stopping for?” the second in command asks and gives you a small push. “Come on.”
You notice a gun in his hands. On stiff, frozen legs you stumble towards Silas. The sand feels heavy under your feet. Silas smiles and takes your hand.
“I think you can guess what I’m going to do”, he says cheekily and takes up a small, black box out his pocket.
You shake your head, but Silas doesn’t seem to notice — or care. He gets down on one knee. You try to pull your hand out of his grip, but he tightens it.
“I don’t think words can explain the amount of love I feel for you”, he starts.
It’s not love. It simply can’t be.
“I know that I want to spend my entire life with you”, he says, looking up at you in awe.
“N-No … wait-”
He opens the box. “Will you marry me?”
You can’t breathe. You know that if you answer no, you might get to taste the gun in the second in command’s hands and you’ll definitely end up in the basement. But you can’t answer yes. If you do, you will be bound to Silas for all eternity. You will have to wear a ring claimed by him, take his name, officially be his. You will be known as his husband/wife forever.
“Y/N, I think that you better want to answer ‘yes’”, he whispers warningly, “for your own sake.”
You hesitate, going through every possible scenario. Every scenario where you decline him ends in physical and mental pain — not only to you, but probably to your family as well. If you accept his proposal, you will trap yourself deeper into his spider web and get tortured for the rest of your life, but you won’t piss him off. You can’t win, no matter what you choose.
“Okay …”, you whisper in defeat. “I will.”
Silas’s face lights up. He shoots up from his knee, wraps his muscular arms around you and devours your lips with his. He pulls your hand to him and places a ring on your finger. The ring is made of a shimmering gold and multiple glistening diamonds. You can’t help but stare at it.
“Congratulations, boss”, his second in command smiles. “You’re going to have a marvelous wedding.”
“Let’s go to a restaurant to celebrate this”, Silas smiles and start to walk with you in his arms. He gives his second in command a tap on the shoulder. “You too.”
The man smiles and follows.
You eat at his favorite restaurant, but you can’t seem to swallow any of the food. A lump has formed in the back of your mouth, preventing anything from passing it. Silas conversates with his second in command, only noticing your sulking after finishing his own food.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, touching your cheek. “Are you not hungry?”
You shake your head.
“That’s okay”, Silas says softly and caresses your shoulder. “Do you want to take it in a togo-bag?”
You nod.
That evening when you get back home, you’re allowed to sit at Silas’s place at the end of the long rectangular table in the dining room with your heated food. You can hear Silas’s men move through the house. Silas and his second in command are in his office to plan the wedding.
You notice that someone is about to sit down on the first chair of the long side of the table. A man you have never spoken to before.
“Hi, care if I keep you company?” he asks.
Too shocked to answer, he takes your silence as ‘yes’ and sits down. You glance at the open door towards the hall and swallow thickly.
“You shouldn’t-”, you try to tell him, to warn him about Silas, but he cuts you off.
“I heard that you got engaged today”, the man says slowly and looks down at your ring. “I guess that I have to say ‘congratulations’.”
“Yeah … thanks …”, you mumble dreadfully. “But you really should-”
Your sentence is cut off by the man in the chair getting ripped up by a harsh force. You hadn’t heard Silas and his second in command leave the office.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Silas questions and pushes the man away from you. “Do you have a death wish?!”
He signals for his second in command to get rid of the man. Silas sighs heavily, runs his hand through his black hair and sinks down on the same chair he had ripped his worker from. You avoid his eyes.
“Are you okay, little thing?” he asks and you can hear how he’s trying to stay calm. “Why didn’t you tell him to walk the fuck away?”
“I tried”, you mumble. “Twice.”
“He knows better than to talk to you. Seems like you’re even more irresistible now that you have a ring on your finger.” He sighs and rubs your back. “You’re mine, and soon they all will know.”
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Days go by. Silas’s second in command takes you to try dresses/suits, but for the most of the time you’re in your bedroom, waiting. Every day takes you closer to your wedding day, that horrifying moment.
And finally, one day, it’s time. Silas’s second in command has taken you to a venue where you’ve gotten your own room to get ready in, but when the time is due for you to walk out and say your vowels, you refuse to come out of the room. There’s nothing you want less than to get married in front of people that you hate. You can’t imagine anything more humiliating.
“Y/N, come on”, the second in command says as he opens the door. “Everyone is waiting!”
“I don’t want to do it!” you burst out, full on panic.
“Silas have spent a lot of time and thought about this for you. He has even invited your family. Would be a shame if they came here for nothing, don’t you think? Don’t you think that they want to see you again? Don’t you want to see them one last time?”
You give the second in command a glare. He walks over and grabs your arm, helping you up on your feet.
“Come on”, he says. “We don’t have all day.”
He’s going to walk you down the aisle to deliver you over to Silas, as planned and try to pull your arm away from the second in command, but his grip on you tightens. The second you get into the venue and see the rows of chairs filled with Silas’s men, his family and your family, you stop, eyes tearing up when seeing your parents. Realization hits you again. You’re not only getting married, you’re also saying goodbye to your old life — a life that you will never get to live again. The second in command drags you past all the guests, over to Silas. You stare at your family, taking them in. Haven’t they changed since last you’ve seen them? Aren’t they looking older? Do they think that you’re different? Do they still recognize you as their little boy/girl? Silently wishing that they would stand up and object to everything happening, you continue your way down the aisle, towards Silas. Surely they have to understand that you’re not doing this by your own will? You would rather be at home with them.
You feel how the second in command moves you over to Silas. The ceremony seem to go by in a fuzzy daze. Words are being said but you're not sure who says them. You're brought back to reality when you hear Silas say ‘I do’. Your first instinct is to pull yourself away from him, but he doesn't let you.
“Your turn, Y/N”, he whispers with a tilted smile. “Tell everyone how you're giving yourself to me.”
Time seems to have stopped. You look out over the audience, at your poor family. They look nauseous. You wonder what kind of threats they have been told to keep them silent in their seats.
And you notice someone else — someone you never thought Silas would invite. Ares. You know that he hates his little brother with all his might, why would he invite him to his wedding? The day that's supposed to be his best day ever. You guess that the older couple by him are Silas's and Ares's parents. You have never met them before, but it's clear who Silas’s has gotten his face from. He's a spitting image of his father. Ares resembles their mother more.
Silas opens up his blazer to show you a gun, which you don't have to doubt is loaded.
“If you — or anyone — tries to object in this marriage, Y/N”, he starts with a dark voice, dangerously close to your face to make sure that no one will hear, “they'll die. Do you understand that?”
You nod unnoticeably, too mortified to do anything else. You understand him very well, and you believe him.
“You better say ‘I do’”, he whispers, voice even darker. “You belong to me. You are mine. Do not ever forget that.”
“Promise me that they won't get hurt”, you whisper as quietly as you can.
He takes your hand.
“I promise”, he says and kisses your knuckles harshly. “Say it.”
You clear your throat to make sure everyone will hear you, so that you don't have to repeat yourself. Giving yourself to this man once is enough.
“I do”, you say.
Everyone but your family and Ares claps. You're puzzled by the look on Silas's parents faces, as if they're not happy but still want to support their son. The rest of the cheering guests wear bright smiles, happy for their boss. You don't dare look at your family.
A new, bigger and more flashy ring gets placed on your finger and you put Silas’s new ring on his with shaking hands. You try to pull the collar of your clothing to the side, to be able to breathe.
You've kissed Silas’s before, but never like this. Never in front of so many people. You don't have time to think before his lips are on yours and you accept it, knowing that you've already signed your life away, refusing to kiss him won't change a thing.
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The afterparty goes on without you. You don’t want to see everyone celebrating you when you never want this in the first place. You are allowed to go back to the room where you had gotten ready and sit in your solitude. You can’t help the tears running down your cheeks in silence. What have you done? Could you have done something differently? No, you couldn't. If you did, your family would get hurt. Instead, you’ve trapped yourself in a venomous spider’s trap.
You hear the door open and hurry to wipe your tears.
“Uh … hi”, a familiar voice says.
You turn to watch Ares close the door behind him. You freeze. If Silas finds him here, your wedding will be even worse … and frankly, after everything Ares have done to you, you don’t want to be alone with him either. You stand up and try to leave the room, but he stops you.
“Wait, let me talk to you”, he says.
“Don’t touch me”, you hiss.
He pulls his hand back and sighs.
“It shouldn’t be you and Silas”, he says in defeat. “You didn’t want to marry him, I saw that. We can run away now and you’ll never have to see him again.”
The proposition alone makes you scoff.
“And why would I want to go anywhere with you?” you spit angrily. “You’re as sick as Silas! I don’t want anything to do with any of you. It’s bad enough that I’m stuck with one … I don’t need the other. Leave.”
Ares twitches his black eyebrows and pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Alright then. Guess I’ll have to force you with me.”
“If you touch me I will scream.”
He gives you a glance as if he’s weighing the outcomes. In a quick motion, he grabs you, trying to pull you over his shoulder. You scream and hit him, causing enough commotion for the door to swing open and for Ares to be ripped off of you. Your vision is blocked by someone dressed in black.
“Get the fuck away before I kill you”, you hear the man in front of you say. “I mean it.”
You expected it to be Silas, but it’s his second in command.
“Touch my boss’ wife/husband again and I’m breaking your neck”, he warns and rolls up his sleeve.
“Why don’t you get the fuck away and let me do what I want to do, hm?” Ares responds harshly.
“You’re really asking for it, aren’t you? This is a wedding, don’t be stupid like usual, Ares.”
“I’m stupid? Have you seen my brother?!”
“Leave, Ares. I don’t want to cause your parents any more pain.”
“What’s going on?”
Silas’s voice makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out again.
“What have you done, Ares?” Silas asks coldly.
“You’re just going to assume that I’ve done something, huh?” Ares growls.
“Why would my man waste time talking with you unless you’ve done something completely idiotic?”
“I heard Y/N scream and found Ares trying to kidnap them”, the second in command says and reaches back a hand to make sure that you’re still there, or to console you.
Silas turns his face towards his brother, his black eyes burning with anger. Before Ares has time to defend himself or throw an insult, Silas has hit him. Hard. You watch how blood seeps from his nose.
“Don’t think that you can ever try to take them from me”, he warns. “They’re mine. See the ring on their finger? Belong to me. I have all the legal rights to say that now. Don’t fucking think a thing.”
Silas puts his arm around your shoulders.
“The only one that gets to touch them is me, so put your greasy little hands away before I cut them off and force you to eat them”, Silas warns him coldly. He turns to his second in command. “Let’s go home, I don’t want to sabotage the after party.”
You’re pulled along out to Silas’s car.
“I should have known that this wedding would have drama”, the second in command sighs. “Why did you even invite Ares from the start?”
“Because I wanted him to see Y/N giving themself to me”, Silas smirks. “To annoy him.”
“You’re supposed to be older than him.”
“Oh shut up, let me have some fun.” He turns to you, growing softer. “Are you okay, little thing? Did he hurt you?”
You shake your head. If anything, you hurt him when clawing at him.
“Good”, Silas smiles and caresses your cheek. “Let’s go home.”
In the car, he takes your hand, inspecting the ring with a cocky smile.
“Now you're officially mine”, he whispered, looking at you with intense, dark eyes. “Forever. And there's nothing you can do to separate us.”
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lxvebun · 5 months
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A millennium of unsaid I love you's
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Synopsis: love is the most twisted curse of all. Yuuji wonders if it's twisted enough to have even Sukuna in its grip.
Content: Sukuna x gender neutral reader. Fluff+little angst. Lovesick!sukuna, I repeat, Lovesick!Sukuna he's so in love with you it shows in everything he does!! Mentions of character death but its open for you to decide. Slight mention of canon violence. Around 1k words♡ eng is not my first language, lmk if there are any annoying mistakes♡♡
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"Have you ever been in love?" Yuuji wonders out loud, not necessarily expecting a serious answer. It's a little past midnight if he's reading the blurry red numbers on the digital clock correctly, and despite sleep clouding over his eyes, he can't seem to find rest. Blankets are carelessly kicked to the edge of the bed in an effort to relieve himself from the summer heat but it doesn't do much to help him ease into that sleepy state either.
(Talking to Sukuna seemed a lot more interesting than counting sheep)
The question hangs in the air for a moment, silence twists around it like a vine, and just before it completely swallows it up, the answer floats across his mind similar to a thought but eerily spoken in a different voice.
"Yes"
It's said quietly, almost as if trying to maintain the tranquility of the summer night, but this is Sukuna we're talking about. He doesn't take others into consideration. There's something else that keeps him from voicing his answers out loud.
(Perhaps it's the way he can't talk about you without sounding like a love-sick devotee)
"How!?" Yuuji blurts out before thinking, not realizing the question is rather rude until a sharp flash of pain surges through his body, a little corrective behavior sent from Sukuna, no doubt. "Sorry, sorry. I just didn't expect it, that's all.
It's quiet for a bit. Yuuji takes the time to admire the stars and moonlight shining through the sliver of the curtains. It feels like the moon is extra radiant tonight as it spills a wonderful illuminative light across the room. 
"I don't know"
There's not much he doesn't know, but to this day it's still a miracle to him that you weaved yourself so effortlessly into his very being. Managing to do so without an ounce of resistance from him. Partly believing you were some kind of heavenly punishment sent to bring the king of curses to his knees. To rid the world of a darkness that never should have existed in the first place.
(He'd let you)
"I just was"
There's another part of him that theorizes that maybe you were something that remained of his human self. A soulmate to complete his when his soul wasn't half as dark and twisted as it is now. Born from the same star, hearts carved from the same moon. A red string binds you to him, regardless of the form he takes. How cruel of fate to tie you to a monster and keep it that way.
Quietness tunes back in as Yuuji's thoughts drift elsewhere. For a second, Sukuna thinks he's done with his late-night interrogation.
"What were they like?"
He's not indulging Yuuji, really. But his heart beats back a little warmth into his soul every time he thinks of you. Every time he thinks of your voice, how his name sounded so syrupy and sweet falling from your lips, a stark contrast to how it's usually uttered.
Every time he thinks of your touch, how you always handled him with a gentleness he probably doesn't deserve. As if under all the scars and cursed markings he was made of the most delicate porcelain. Even when you were angry, it never bled violence into your touch.
Gods, your entire being shined so brightly he could pick you out from among the stars. You dug yourself into his chest, ripped out his darkened heart oh so deliciously, and buried yourself in its place. As if you always belonged there.
Just thinking of you stains his mouth all too sweetly, a millennium of unsaid I love you's building up in the back of his throat. He swallows it down.
"They were beautiful" he speaks aloud this time, voice booming around the room. Yuuji flinches a little at the intrusion "And that's enough of your questions tonight, brat"
"Just one more, please"
.....
Yuuji takes the silence as compliance.
"Are they gone?" He puts it into softer terms. Sukuna's a little annoyed at the consideration.
He doesn't know... and he's not sure what hurts more, being oblivious to your fate, or assuming that you have passed. Surely, Uraume would have taken care of you. Then again, are they even around still? A dullness grows in his chest, splinters its way through his ribs, and weighs down into his lungs suffocatingly so at the uneasiness of not knowing.
Looking through Yuuji's eyes, he catches a glint of a star beaming down into the split in the curtain. Shining an ethereal light so brightly he has to avert his gaze.
( he could pick you out amongst the stars. He refuses to believe it's you)
The ache lessens again as the starlight seems to clear his head. You're bound to him by a string of fate, there's not a single universe out there where you're not with him. Even if it's cruel of fate to do so, even if those thousand years apart have turned him into someone almost unrecognizable. You'll be together again. Perhaps your soul is just waiting for the right moment to appear.
"they'll be back" is all he says, and the finality in his tone urges Yuuji to keep his mouth shut despite the whirlwind of questions still racing through his mind. Memories that don't belong to him flicker through Yuujis's mind as Sukuna seems to dream off. They're blurry and foggy and disappear all too quickly for him to make sense of what he's seeing, but he can feel the overwhelming presence of love dripping from the edges. He doesn't question why his heart starts to race too.
Sukuna has been a rot in his side from day one. but if there ever exists an opportunity to save everyone, if he could give him his happy ending should you come back, he thinks he'll grant it to him.
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Thank you for reading angels!!♡ i had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you enjoyed this too!
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juniperdugong · 2 months
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Relationship Quirks 95s ver.
Aka habits I can see the boys doing in a relationship || 95s || 96s || 97s || Maknae line ||
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Scoups Calls you his "wife" while you guys are still dating
NOT AROUND YOU... at first but I doubt that the guys wouldn't secretly take video of him whining during practice talking about, "I miss my wife..." all pouty and everything (he saw you this morning), and NOT send it to you.
He's awkward when you bring it up because he doesn't know if you feel that way about the future of your relationship but once he knows you do feel the same way WHEW you do not hear the end of it.
Suddenly, all the reservations he makes are preceded by "Well, me and my wife...", anytime you're brought up in a conversation dude glitches out and HAS to mention you as his wife at least once (especially if it's to someone he thinks might be interested in you), and the yearning only gets worse! He'll leave for tour and after he texts his customary airplane goodbye message to you your phone will be blowing up with texts from the boys complaining about having to hear their leader practically sobbing about how much he misses his wife.
Jeonghan Steals your stuff
Has big "What's yours is mine" mentality, but don't worry! What's his is yours too! He swears it! Despite the drastic difference in how much he's using, borrowing, or straight up taking your stuff...
Let's be clear though, he never takes things he thinks you'll miss and if he finishes something of yours he always makes sure to replace it pronto. If you do get upset he makes a mental note to not mess with that particular item ever again.
Have you noticed a suspicious amount of your clothing (mainly hoodies, hats, and bags) go missing and suddenly see your boyfriend wearing them during a live? Yes. Has there been multiple arguments about this behavior? For sure! Does it absolutely warm your heart when you're at a concert and see a staff member run on stage to hand Hannie his current comfort item (a childhood toy of yours that you didn't even know was missing from your room)? Absolutely, it does. (Apologizes profusely once you find out...doesn't mean a single word of it and you know it because he's giggling the whole time)
Joshua Buys 2 of everything
Since the dawn of your relationship, Shua has gotten 2 of every item he buys. His initial reason was to get to know one another better by trying out things the other liked. This then spiraled to him doubling every single grocery item, clothes he buys, and pretty much anything he orders. Could be an insanely valuable item worth thousands that he's getting paid to promote but if there isn't a matching one for you then it's off the table. And no, he doesn't necessarily want to be "matching" all the time but he likes knowing that you guys could match whenever you wanted to.
He also gets extremely offended if you question why there's so much of everything, seriously he doesn't even want to hear it, like "Because it's ours! And we share! So we need double! Do you hate me or something!?"
"Babe, why do we have so much shampoo..." "I'm promoting it." "There's 2 of every type in here." "Yep." "We don't ne-" "We do need it." "It's too much." "I don't understand what you're saying to me right now."
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A/N: The brainrot I have for these men is so real rnnnnn. I just had to separate these by years bc it was getting too long :( I'll have 96s up by today too, so stay tuned for that 96 line OUT NOW!! (Have to do it for my babe Nonu) Reblogs and Comments are much-appreciated lovelies!!
TAGLIST (open): @bemybabiibish
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byuntrash101 · 3 months
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realistic sex with san
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san x f!reader fluff | smut | mdni a/n: welcome to this series. where i'll try to imagine how each member would actually fuck, as ✨realistically✨ as possible. happy sannie day. enjoy ♡ disclaimer: i say realistic but lets be honest this is pure delulu behaviour and total fiction. everything is solely based on the vibes the boys give off.
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i feel like san isn’t the pursuing kinda guy. he’s really shy at the beginning, especially if he’s crushing on you. since he’s a cancer baby ♋ he would actually avoid you/ignore you. 
At first you would just think he just does not care about you, not necessarily hate you because he would seem so laid back about it but in reality his heart is racing when he sees you and it’s just easier for him to avoid you
so why doesn’t he just go for it? what??? no! you’re crazy? what if you weren’t interested? he would never be able to accept the rejection. so he’d rather have this crush stay as it is. unless you take actions into your own hands? (spoiler it's what you’ll have to do to score this man)
at some point the others are tired of seeing san snob you when you’re around then gush about you when you’re away so one of the member just spills the tea (spoiler alert it was either joong or woo because they were sick of it or yeosang but he didn’t mean to)
so with that new knowledge you’ll just have to make your move
i think he has a careful/cautious nature so he doesn't fold immediately because you could be playing games we never know but he definitely doesn't take long before he gives in because he’s head over heels and can't resist you
after a while, if your actions and words are consistent things change. he gets confident and he’s all over you all the time.
he’s pda line with mingi and woo
he just loves to have you near him, he wants to feel that you are near.
if there’s people around he wont care he just wants to hold your hand or for you to sit on his lap (if he’s feeling naughty he will even sneak his hand on your ass, give a light quiet little spank or just squeeze it in his large gym rat hand because this man just loves your ass)
he’s perfectly fine with you doing your own thing. he doesn't require to be doing every single little thing together but he wants to stroke your thigh when you’re reading and he’s watching his cheesy romantic kdrama. because yeah san is a whole ass romantic. the hopeless kind.
but he’s also realistic. he knows loves comes from trust and communication and oh boy he just knows how to talk to you. even if he’s a little susceptible sometimes (i think he is a sensitive boy thats who’s hiding being the muscle mountain) he always communicates with you effectively. and that's because of his nurturing nature (cancer baby ♋)
At the end of the day san wants to coddle you, cherish you, LOVE YOU.
he has so much love to give. i mean he said it himself he grew up receiving a lot of love so he knows how to receive it and give it
speaking of it love isnt san’s only infinite resource 
i feel like san has also a lot stamina probably the highest out of all of them doesn't mean he has the highest sex drive (that’s probs mingi or joong) but when he’s in the mood he can go for a looooonnng time he is tireless, he is relentless
for instance he never taps out first. when your body is exhausted and your shivering and trembling and he’s came thrice already you have all the rights to assume he is done but then he folds your legs up on your chest again and you whimper because you don’t know if you can take it anymore so he whispers “please baby i just need one more, okay? will you be my good girl, just one more time?” you moan and arch your back as he slides in and he shivers from slight overstimulation. but nonetheless you look up to him through your wet lashes and nod. so he instantly starts to sharply snap his hips against yours, making you whimper meekly. “that's right baby. I knew you could do it, you’re doing so well” he whispers as he gently holds your chin up to bend down and kiss you.
that would be a common occurrence if he’s domming BUT! san is a switch especially with you he likes to hand out the reigns once in a while because he trusts you.
and if he subs that stamina becomes your greatest ally. you can just tie him up and work him with a fleshlight for hours, milking him so many times that the last orgasm has his cock twitching but nothing coming out anymore. You make him cum so much that you both lose count at some point. if he finishes and he softens a little sloppy kiss, a little teasing of his nipples (i feel like he has sensitive nipples idk why kdslmfkdfdmlskf) and then boom he’s hard again. that man just can’t resist you. and he whines for you to stop, to continue, he’s not sure. you can just make him go insane and he loves that.
ok so i teased it in yunho’s part but i think san has a size kink. big one. 
the reason behind it i think is actually an insecurity of his. i don’t think he’s satisfied with his height you can kinda pick up in his body language that it’s a sensitive subject whenever it’s brought up by the other members and i think it’s also part of the reason why he works out so much. sure he will never be tall tall but he can definitely be big. so i think san would be into a partner that’s smaller than him (rip us tall girlies)
so he loves to tower over you, he loves that he’s able to hide you behind him, completely conceal you.
if he’s fucking you missionnary he loves to really emphasize that. “look at you, so small down there?” he loves taking the overly sweet and condescending tone when he doms (it makes you melt every time). “you’re doing so well for me baby. your tiny little body is taking my big cock so well” and he would lay his weight on you, really making you feel small.
also quick side note regarding 🍆 size. i don't think san is really long i think he’s average BUT he’s definitely girthy. He’s got some width to him and i also think he’s slightly curved upwards and god does he take advantage of that. if he fucks you missionary the angle is just devine and he loves to push down on your belly making sure you really feel him (dont mind me screaming rn because of san’s secret bulge kink)
he also loves when you tend to his size kink while he’s subbing. that could sound counterintuitive at first but hear me out
if he’s lying on his back on your shared bed and you are riding him and edging him he would keep his hands to his side not to influence your rhythm. he goes absolutely insane when you say “look at you big boy?” giving a particularly harsh bounce. “you’re suffering quietly? why aren’t you flipping me over and taking me exactly how you'd want” at this point he would beg and squirm so perfectly. “i know why because you know you must not. because you’re a good boy and you’d anything keep it that way right baby?” maybe teasing his nipples a little bit making him grit his teeth. “yes yes i wanna be good for you. i wanna be your good boy. p-please. ah fuck… pleaseplease”. so there you turn around and aim for the finish line he just can't get enough of seeing your perfect ass bounce on his cock. it’s his favorite position he just loves it whether he doming or subbing he loves it and it doesn't take long before he collapses and stuffs you full of pipping hot cum with grunts interspersed with small whimpers.
then when sexy time is done i feel like san is the kind of guy that has to hop in the shower he doesn't stand being sticky especially to bed. if you’re too tired it’s okay because he’s strong and he will carry you to the bathroom and wash you and then he’ll tuck you in bed and spoon you 
he’d rather be the little spoon because he’s a big pouty baby after sex. but he’ll settle for anything if he gets to sleep curled up with you
bonus: i think san’s special kink would be recording you, making a sex tape with you. then watching it together. he would actually love to see more clearly how good he makes you feel or how small you actually look next to him. something he cant really see when he’s in the heat of the moment. he would also definitely tease you about it. “look at you, love. you’re shaking. i guess i must be that good” he would get so cocky about it but if you retort anything his wits go from 100 to 0 real fast. “what about you? look at you fucking moaning and worshipping my pussy? you really can’t get enough of it can you?” then he pouts for a second. Then he wraps his strong arms around your waist and pulls you close to him. “you’re right i can’t get enough of your pretty little pussy.” gives you a kiss on your nape and breathes heavily against your skin “i love how wet you get for me.” an other kiss and another sultry whisper. “can you show me again?” (circle back to the stamina thing… he’s INSATIABLE 😵‍💫)
IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤
a/n: finally back with this series! san was so fun to write actually. who will be next jongho, yeosang or hongjoong? just request them in the comments hehe <3
realistic sex with seonghwa, with mingi, with yunho, with wooyoung
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coquettepascal · 23 days
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purpose on earth
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summary: joel loves to take, you love to give.
tags: 18+, smut, angst(ish), jackson era!joel, cold!joel, grumpy!joel, innocent!reader, dom!joel, implied age gap (reader doesn't remember pre-outbreak), corruption kink, joel takes your undies, humiliation, oral sex (m!receiving), allusion to thigh riding, a feeling of helpless/hopeless-ness permeates this fic, reader is pretty pathetic, use of "sweet girl", objectification of reader, unrequited obsession, this fic isn't necessarily sexy, just mildly sad.
a/n: i literally wrote this like an hour ago while i was supposed to be outlining my next project, but @hellishjoel told me to listen to my creative demons... so now this is being posted.
(1.1k, just a baby)
Nothing in this world has ever, or will ever, belong to you. Faint memories glaze your mind sometimes, when you lay down to rest. Not your own memories, but things you’ve read in books and seen in abandoned family photo albums. White wedding dresses, cars that drive, Sunday night family dinner. An American lifestyle that was sucked away with the cordyceps, something only they could clear out. The bombs the government used, the ones you can’t remember anymore, they never wiped mother earth clean the way she has done for herself.
She’s infected, and not yours. Nothing outside of Jackson’s walls belongs to your human hands.
You’ve never known ownership. The clothes you wear belonged to people before you, the ground you walk on cannot be sold. Maybe in another life this would feel fulfilling, but something in you wants to know what it is to own, or even fit in. Your skin, flushed and healthy, skin full of life and blood and organs. A heart that thumps in a world of disease, disorder, death. What a weird purity you hold, something you want to ruin. 
A person like you isn’t meant to own anything here. It feels like you have to belong, if you wish to take.
He will do it for you. 
Joel knows greed, remembers the world before. His hands have taken food, land, lives, anything you can imagine. It isn’t something you realistically think about, more infatuated with how he has the ability to do all these things. Not that you hadn’t committed your own sins, but to defend yourself isn’t wrong, at least that’s what he says. Something in Joel smolders the way only a primal fire can, he is from a world whose memory of a flame will extinguish soon.
He doesn’t help with any of your wants, your need to own or belong. But Joel shows you what it is to take.
You don’t understand the fascination he has with you. The memory of the night he first led you back to his house is blurry, a fleeting moment in comparison to what has happened since. There was conversation of music, of you having a tape you wish you could play. 
His hands were slow when they slid your underwear down your legs, you hoped he wasn’t looking. Nothing about you felt sexy or womanly, you felt dwarfed when he was so close. Again, you wished you could belong, so maybe you could hide. There was a stain in the gusset and you remember how he pulled the garment off your ankles when it dangled there.
“Lemme see,” he had demanded, “lemme see what I did t’you.”
Joel had smeared his thumb through the sticky wet mark, huffing in surprise. He knew it was for him, knew there was nothing else that could have made you do that. Humiliated, you had tried to yank back your underwear, but he refused.
“S’mine now,” he laughed, cheeks rosy.
That was the first time Joel took from you. 
Now you seek him, the ache for belonging in the world twisting to a yearning for him to take from you. If you could not belong to this world, if you could not fit, at least you could fulfill him. Joel doesn’t like it when you seek him out too often, hates when others notice it. You’re not his, never his, just a moment of gratification for his consuming greed. 
Once, you waited in the early morning at the stables for him. Crouched near the barn door, you waited and watched the dewy grass grow. The crunch of his boots, the yawn he let out as he passed by you, it was enough. He said nothing to you, took off on his horse with some other man trailing behind him. 
“Joel’s so responsible,” you thought to yourself, “he’ll need me later I bet.”
Of course, he did. You relished in the small victory of him stealing from you again. Purity leaks from you in the form of drool on your chin, when he pulls you off his cock. Joel’s thumbs push the spit back in your mouth and you suck it down willingly. Praise rumbles off his tongue and into your ears, a southern rhythm you find sanctuary in. Pushing his dick back into your mouth is all pleasure to him, but it’s a taste of greed for you. 
“Sweet girl, that’s a good mouth f’me, ain’t it?” Joel asks, head tilting back.
He never takes his pants off, but he strips you naked. His eyes arguably take more than his hands ever will. The bob of his Adam's apple hypnotizes your eyes as you garble a response to his question. Scarcely do you make sense around Joel, or even speak. You don’t think you can remember the last time you held a proper conversation with him, he usually just waits for you to come around.
It all starts the same, standing on his porch and waiting until he opens the door.
“Missin’ me?” He asks every time.
Joel doesn’t miss you, he doesn’t need you. He just likes how much you give. But you miss him, as soon as he pushes you out into the cold again you miss him. His greed is your purpose.
And so with your purpose, you push yourself down to the base of him. The waterline of your eyes is welling up fast, distorting your vision of him. You blink up at him like he’ll look down, like you’re more than a mouth. You aren’t, not to him, but you get to admire him like this. The puff of his chest, the swell of his throat, and his hands when they come to rip you off him.
He never pulls your hair, just grasps your face in his worn-down palms and pushes you away before jerking himself onto your naked body. 
“S’nice, you’re so nice t’me,” he grumbles. 
Under the yellow light in Joel’s living room, you feel useful. You’re doing more than surviving in this world. You have a purpose, even if he seldom needs you. He uses the sleeves of his flannel to wipe away the tears that slide down your cheeks, still mumbling about how sweet you are. Naked, smattered in him, you smile. Glittery eyes meet his and he snorts. 
“You were missin’ me, huh?” He teases. 
Joel rubs his thumb across your cheek again, the closest thing you’ll get to his lips on you. In his post-orgasmic haze, he almost looks fond. 
“He almost likes me,” your mind whispers, your stomach fluttering, “it’s almost like I belong.”
And once you’ve nodded in response to his question, messy mouthed and gazing at him, your purpose, he taps his thigh. Blood rushes to your head as you stand, crawling onto him. 
In your obedient mind, you define your efforts for Joel as a purpose, but you think you can taste a hint of belonging each time he spreads your legs. 
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ashwhowrites · 1 month
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eddie x reader, where reader isn’t necessarily popular but she gets along with everyone and is friends with everyone, and eddie is his dorky self, but him and reader start hanging out more and there’s rumors that him and reader are hooking up but they’re not they’re just friends, but eddie realizes these rumors are making him more popular so he doesn’t try to nip them in the bud but the rumors are causing issues for the reader, if u can make it end nice and fluffy id appreciate it, hope this makes sense
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Rumor has it
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Y/N doesn't consider herself popular; she is just someone who can hold a conversation with anyone. Which is why no one questioned why she started talking to Eddie.
Eddie knew he was not popular, and he was fine with that. He also didn't see Y/N as popular, and he thinks that was why he loved being around her. She was the only person that was nice and honest.
But since most people knew her, people talked about her. All it took was one wrong person to see them together and start the rumor that they were sleeping together.
The rumor impacted them differently. Eddie was congratulated and got his name on the map. Boys high-fived him in hallways and girls became interested in him. Eddie didn't understand why "sleeping" with Y/N would be the talk of this school, but he enjoyed the attention he got.
It was the opposite for Y/N. Boys began hitting on her now that she had given it up. No matter how many times she said no and that nothing happened with Eddie, no one believed her. She didn't like being seen as someone boys wanted to hook up with. She missed when they were polite and friends with her. But now all they wanted was the same treatment Eddie got.
Y/N sighed as she got in Eddie's van. She ignored the eyes of everyone watching as they drove out of the parking lot.
"I like your top today, by the way, baby," Eddie said, shooting her a smile as he focused on the road.
Y/N felt her face burn and a smile appeared on her face. She muttered a small thank you. But cheered loudly in her head. The more she spent tutoring Eddie, the more she liked him. She wanted his attention and his compliments.
She bought a few new shirts. Some tight and a little low cut to show off her body. She loved the way his eyes never left her when she was near. She was happy that her new clothes seemed to be doing just what she wanted.
~
"Can we be done now? My brain is going to explode," Eddie whined, throwing his head back.
"Yes, we can be done," Y/N laughed as she closed the book.
"Good because I would rather be doing this," he said, then she felt her body being shifted onto his. She bit her lip as she sat in his lap, hoping he couldn't hear how fast her heart was beating. He leaned in and softly pressed his lips against hers. It wasn't their first kiss, but it made her stomach flutter just the same.
He pulled back and moved his lips down to her neck, loving the way she shuddered.
"This perfume I think is my favorite so far," he muttered against her skin. She moaned as he bit her neck, she would definitely wear this perfume every day.
~~~
"I saw Y/N left school with you yesterday," Jason said as he nudged Eddie with a wink.
"Yeah, we went back to my place," Eddie said, his words were honest but his smirk left a lot to the imagination
"Never would have thought sweet Y/N would get down and dirty with the freak of Hawkins," Jason chuckled as he walked away.
Yeah, the rumor even got bullies off Eddie's back. It was like he was living a dream.
~
"Can you believe she finally lost her virginity? I heard it was in the bar bathroom after Eddie's set. So trashy" a girl snickered as Y/N walked by in the halls.
Y/N ignored her words, sadly getting used to it ever since the stupid rumor started. She denied it over and over, yet no one seemed to believe her. She wasn't understanding why everyone truly believed it happened when they had no evidence at all.
Well until she finally saw it with her eyes.
"I think I brought her home maybe like midnight?" Eddie laughed as he shrugged, a group of boys surrounding him.
Y/N stopped walking, trying to remain unseen as she listened.
"Is she good?" a random voice asked
"Amazing," Eddie replied
"Y/N freaky? Is that why she picked you? Does she like it rough and dirty or something?" another voice asked
Y/N froze as she realized they were talking about the rumor. She waited anxiously for Eddie to respond
"I don't want to share all our details, but she can tire a guy out," he said, she scoffed at his proud smirk and the way the guys cheered.
She thought Eddie would have been different, but he was just as pathetic as the rest of the boys in the school.
"Oh? How so?" she spoke up, her voice catching all their attention.
Eddie went pale as she came into view, the boys looked between them.
"Maybe you can show me tomorrow night, gorgeous," a boy said, throwing her a wink
She cringed and felt uncomfortable under his stare. His words sent jealousy straight through Eddie. Eddie snapped to look at him with heat in his eyes.
"She's not interested," Eddie said as he butted in
"I think I've had enough of you speaking for me" she snapped, her attention on Eddie. "Maybe I should tell these guys exactly what has been going on between us."
"We already know you opened your legs the same night you met him. We all know you are a whore" the boys snickered as Y/N felt the blow of the words.
"Don't call her that. She is not a whore." Eddie demanded, shoving whoever said it against the lockers
"How is she not? She's all snobby and a stuck-up good girl, now she lost her virginity and makes you go for rounds and rounds. She started wearing more revealing clothes and wearing a new perfume. She wants the attention, she loves it."
Eddie gulped as he slowly turned around to face her. His heart dropped when the tears were already falling down her face. She looked horrified and sick.
"You-you are a virgin?" Eddie stuttered, the guilt was already in his bones but now he felt like he couldn't breathe. The regret and guilt piled on his chest.
Y/N felt her face burn in embarrassment and ran off before anyone could say another thing.
"Shit!" Eddie cussed to himself and ran after her. She was quick but he was faster. She barely made it out the door when he caught her arm. The door closed behind them as they stood at the front of the school.
"Y/N I am so sorry," Eddie said as he turned her around. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she cried.
"Bullshit, Eddie," she scoffed as she wiped her cheeks, "You loved every second of your fake story. I mean I am so stupid for thinking you were different."
"I know, I fucked up. I didn't know people were saying those types of things about you. I'm sorry for being an asshole. I got clouded by all the attention it gave me, and I didn't think to ask why it was such a big deal to everyone and I'm so fucking sorry," he pleaded
"Yeah, it is a big deal! Especially to me. I was shamed for never liking a boy enough to have sex with, then I'm shamed for having sex with you. Which was a rumor, and a rumor you could have shut down with a simple explanation. But no, you wanted to seem cool from all the jocks and enjoy all the attention from girls who never looked your way otherwise. I am sick and tired of being shamed, and it hurts a whole lot more knowing it's because of you."
"Because of me?" Eddie asked, "Why?"
"Because I fucking like you!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth once she realized what she said. Eddie felt his eyes widen.
"I didn't know," he said quietly
"Why would you?" she scoffed, "I forgot that I'm just a plaything in the eyes of boys. Just a good whore."
"You are way more than that," Eddie defended, "Don't talk that way about yourself. You mean way more to me than a plaything."
"But didn't mean enough to protect?" She argued
"I didn't know you were a virgin! I didn't know that a rumor of us sleeping together would do any of this. If I could take it back I would. I like you and I liked knowing that people thought we were together" Eddie tried to defend
"I-I just don't know if I believe you. I think you like how people view you because of me."
"I would have never kissed you if I didn't have feelings for you," Eddie fought, rushing to move his hands on her face. "I wouldn't have noticed new clothes and new perfumes. I'll clear everything up and I'll kick anyone's ass that speaks about you. But please believe me when I say I'm sorry and that I like you."
"I need time," she said softly, he sighed sadly as she removed his hands and walked away.
~~~
The next day at lunch Eddie got on the tables and cleared everything up. He demanded people apologize for the way they treated Y/N and threatened anyone who had the nerve to say anything about her again.
Y/N appreciated he stood to his word and cleared the air. People did apologize but she didn't bother to forgive them. They didn't deserve her forgiveness, and she wanted this situation under the bridge.
A few days passed and Y/N was relieved that everyone moved on. She wasn't as popular anymore, given that she hated everyone and didn't bother to talk to anyone. She was nice to everyone and it got her stabbed in the back.
And for the boys who still decided to speak to her, Eddie handled for her.
"Now that you and Freak called it quits. What if I show you a good time?"
Y/N didn't have time to say anything when Eddie had the boy slammed against the lockers and a huge right hook against his face.
"I thought I made it clear that no one talks about my girl like that."
She wasn't Eddie's girl but the sound of him saying it made her heart race.
A full month passed and Y/N was starting to miss Eddie. She still tutored him, but no more breaks to make out. She kept them focused on school and she went home the second they were done.
She couldn't let herself be weak around him because then she'd be around his finger all over again. She hoped her feelings would disappear within time, but it seemed to still take over her world.
"Alright, think we are done!" Y/N cheered as she closed the textbook. "You should ace this test tomorrow, no excuses."
Eddie smiled as she pointed a finger in his face
"What do you think I'll get?" he asked
"A C plus, but I have faith you could score a B."
"Does the offer still stand if I get my first A?" he asked, chewing on his bottom lip as he nervously waited.
Y/N sighed to herself. She wanted to smack her past self for making the deal
"If I ever get an A, can I ask you to be my girlfriend?" Eddie asked, they both knew he was joking by the way he smiled and laughed
"You just met me! How do you know you want me to be your girlfriend?" she teased
"Because I've never seen anyone more beautiful"
He looked at her as she thought about it in her head.
"I guess we'll see if you get an A," she said, smiling sadly as she got up.
"I'm not going to stop until I get that A, sweetheart," he said with a smile, watching as she made her way out of his trailer. She looked over her shoulder and let out a small laugh.
It was a small moment, but Eddie thought about it all night.
~~~
Eddie knew he would never score an A, the best he could get was a B. But he refused to lose his only shot to win her back. It was wrong, but he didn't care.
He shifted his eyes to look at his neighbor's paper. It was a smart kid who always scored high, so Eddie was confident he was cheating off the right paper.
He answered all the questions he knew and cheated on the ones he had no slight idea of.
He turned his paper in with his fingers crossed and walked out.
The next day he rushed into class, tapping the table as he waited for the teacher to pass him his test.
~
Y/N was at her locker when she felt her body being turned around and familiar lips placed on hers. Her body gave in before her brain could fight it. Her lips moved with Eddie's as she tasted his mint gum, his hands on her body sent shivers down her spine.
Once she regained control she was quick to pull away
"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she touched her lips
"Celebrating my big A with my soon-to-be girlfriend," Eddie said with a proud smirk. He held up the test, a huge A written on the top.
"No way," she gasped, grabbing the test. She looked over his answers, all proving the test was correctly examined.
"What do you say? Can we give this a real shot? I promise not to be an idiot with your feelings this time." He promised as he bounced anxiously on his feet
"I still don't know Eddie," she sighed as she handed him the test
"Just a date, one night and we can take it from there?" Eddie asked
"Alright, fine. One date and we go from there," Y/N said. She watched Eddie's face lit up and a huge smile covered him.
"Yes! Thank you!" He cheered, kissing her cheek wet before he raced down the hallway.
His excitement made her smile, maybe a date wouldn't be horrible.
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