#and it's not FAIR that they're harder

[colorisbyshe]

i remember when someone was complaining about their partner being late for shit allll the time and someone was like ‘oh they MUST have adhd and they just can’t help it,’ so i was like ‘hey, yeah, i have adhd, i get this, here are some things other people with adhd can do to help with this problem’

and like five different people just went ‘um time blindness is REAL and you must just not have a severe enough case :/ but there’s no fixing this’

and it’s just........ is this how we beat ableism? by just pretending that we aren’t in control of our actions at all?

that instead of having conversations about maybe offering more leeway and empathy for people’s struggles while ALSO equipping people with better tools to help themselves

we’re just gonna go ‘yeah, actually, neurodivergent people are wholly incapable of personal will and are ruled by their neurodivergence and can’t be expected to help themselves or other people in any way.’

like i get that some things are truly harmless or truly cannot be helped but... some things... can be worked on. maybe not “cured” or “fixed” but like... worked on. and maybe we should make that info more accessible rather than pretending like its ableist to like... offer tips or  maybe not let people entirely off the hook for behaviour they can manage

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) what if like. going into rut was as physical as it was emotional. like, of course the hormones spike, but in turn physical effects include temporary spontaneous muscle growth (which then makes me think...... stretch marks..... wow,,,), higher sperm count, hair that ruffles easier (like how animals bristle to look bigger and scarier, but since humans evolved to not be covered in hair anymore that one is now just a sillier, annoying symptom) etc

i bring this up for the sake of the mental image i wish to bring to the table...... wilson working one more day until he goes on leave for his rut, his hair fluffy and messy despite his best attempts to tame it, his nice ironed shirts straining a little when usually they fit just fine...... he gets flirted with more often than usual and it makes him feel GOOD, being desirable is His Thing, especially right now

[goodshipskypirate]

You know in Disney's Beauty and the Beast, we, the thirsty fuckers that we are, collectively all agreed that the Prince's Beast form was super hot and once he turned human, he was a 1000000% less hotter?

My shallow ass is feeling that right now. ...Sorry, man, I usually don't find blond dudes hot. Put the mask back on, sir.

Also, I'm disappointed. You give Resh'an West Asian-ish clothing and decided on BLOND hair?

[devotedlittlefreak]

A song for the End of the World

Song : Lhasa - Para el fin del mundo, o el año nuevo (For the end of the world, or the New Year)

In Behind the Line, Lady Founder nearly took Odo away from everyone. She had his soul in her hands, the fate of the quadrant, just a few inches away. Odo the friend (who is to become more, for Kira) , and Odo the officer, both are losing themselves, both are getting manipulated.

Kira nearly lost him. It's not the first time. She had grounds to give him up after that. But she clings on to him. She makes it clear how much he fucked up, how he betrayed her. She doesn't sugarcoat him, and for her own sanity she keeps a certain distance, but she hangs on to him.

I nearly hated Odo after I saw Behind the lines. I think it took me to the end of the show to forgive him. At the same time I felt bad about it, because it's a bit unfair. I think that was the point. There's a reason Kira forgives him, it's not just to make place for the romance. She sees him. She understand.

[meirimerens]

What's your nsfw sideblog??

you're gonna have to either find it yourself or come off anon/into the DMs to ask me my love. for obvious reasons.

[gourmet-trash]

i know i'm not the first person to say this, but i've been seeing more of it than usual lately so it feels like it bears repeating:

don't put things like "this is so bad" or "i suck at summaries" or "sorry this is terrible" in your fic tags or summaries.

even if you FEEL like what you've written is bad, don't advertise that! even if you think your summary isn't good, don't call that out! you are convincing people that's the truth before they have even been given a chance to make that decision for themselves!

something i learned in a few public speaking courses/workshops i've been in over the years that i find oddly relevant to this topic is: do not apologize. specifically if you're giving a presentation and you say something incorrectly or you skip a data point - don't apologize! when you notice it, just calmly correct yourself or go back and cover the point you missed. you shouldn't say "sorry" if you can avoid it.

why? because people don't NOTICE that you've flubbed a lot of the time UNTIL YOU CALL IT OUT. they don't even think twice about it unless you make a big deal out of it. but when you make a big deal out of it, then it becomes A Thing. then that's something people remember about your presentation.

when you highlight that something is wrong or needs to be apologized for, you're putting that frame around the situation. saying "this is bad" out the gate primes someone to agree with you. saying "this is OOC" tells someone to be looking for the things that are OOC that they may not have really noticed at first.

i know for a lot of people who are new to writing, getting some positive feedback or a little validation on their work is the thing that makes you want to KEEP WRITING. but tags like "this is awful" make a lot of people automatically scroll past your story. you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to get that motivation if you're shoving your readers away before they ever show up! and you're steering away people who may genuinely enjoy your work by convincing them before they've even started reading that it isn't worth their time.

stop fucking doing that, little writerlings.

and if you're REALLY worried about it?? you're REALLY afraid people are going to hate what you wrote and leave flames in the comment box (i am so fucking old)?? make a burner account. post that shit anonymously. you might be surprised by the feedback you actually get.

[swan2swan]

Most sobering revelation of today is watching the final half-hour of A Few Good Men and realizing that the movie is....certainly a movie...and then having Office Space come on and understanding just how vast the disparity of quality is between them.

[rindemption]

@katsigian and I decided to up the stakes in project zomboid. We're using the Project Russia map, cryogenic winter, random zombie speeds, and a myriad of other mods.

We've both nearly frozen to death, a sprinting zombie got the jump on me (I got a scratch but it healed), and most of our time is spent in a tiny rv trying to stay warm between supply runs and exploring. And the power and water shut off soon

The game plan at the moment is to be nomadic in winter, scavenge and explore from a truck and camper trailer setup, then in summer find a place to set up base, to grow crops for preserving and do prep work for the winter again. I'm pretty excited for this run, the game has been getting too easy.

[commissionsdarian]

Who do you think would be the most upset if you died?

Me, because I would've had to waste a lot of money on making it look realistic

[mikesbasementbeets]

hi :D i found ur bi max masterpost a while ago (this one: https://www.tumblr.com/mikesbasementbeets/696412509960323072/ive-been-thinking-a-lot-about-elmax-recently-and)

and in the beginning u said that there u were focusing on max, but el has a lot of queer coding too (which i fully agree on btw). i wanted to know if u have made a post about her queer coding or if u are working on one? bc i really enjoy ur posts in general :]

hi! that's very sweet, thank you. no, unfortunately i've not done any analysis on el's queer coding (but i saw that you found someone else's post about it which i think is a good read). i think i wrote that bi max analysis in like september? (yes) so it's been a while since i've revisited those thoughts, but eImax is still so dear to me and i would love to have the brain space i had back then to analyze both of them again... but maybe i will think some more on it actually if there's interest....

[problemswithbooks]

So, I think I just saw one of the worst takes for ch. 390--that being that Enji is being his asshole self because he's talking over Touya in his last moments.

I understand hating a character but I really don't know why people have the need to read everything they do from the most malicious angle possible. I get that Enji was a bad father, and even now makes mistakes, but it's really unfair to see him apologizing to Touya who has already been aloud to use what little breath he has left to speak, as him talking over him.

And the thing is people were shitting on Enji for not apologizing earlier, but now that he is, they have to find some other reason he's being terrible. I'm 100% positive that if Enji had just listened to Touya rant about hating everyone and wanted them all to die, these same people would say he was bad for not saying anything/apologizing.

Touya was barely coherent before Shoto froze him and now he's freezing from the inside out. He's charred to the bone and it's clear he's having trouble speaking the few times he did. For all the family knows, including Enji, Touya is dying. Does Enji really have the time to wait to apologize? And it's not like we see Touya trying to speak but getting cut off.

Saying Enji is making everything all about himself and speaking over Touya is overly harsh and clearly not the point the story is trying to make. It's just Enji finally apologizing to everyone, including Touya. The apology may not be enough, but even if it's not, it won't be because Enji talked over him and more that it came to late, or that words don't speak as loud as actions.

[thatiranianphantom]

I just reported my neighbors to animal welfare.

Am I expecting a lot? No.

But I'm going to at least follow up on Wednesday. This dog is left outside day and night 12 months a year, barks for hours (I am not exaggerating, 6 hours of nonstop barking yesterday) and the owners do shit all. Like they'll hear hours of barking and do absolutely zero.

So I reported them. Because at the very least, the dog is being neglected.

[tyrannuspitch]

why am i as a fanfic writer who mostly deals with prequels, canon divergence and retellings so concerned with trying to surprise my audience. i think i'm cursed

[bunnyboy-juice]

do any other autistics struggle with family because you want so desperately to be understood by them but, even when they mean well, they just Fundamentally Misunderstanding what u are saying? like u could literally tell them "i am not feeling upset or angry, i want to do this thing, there is just a little resistance mentally because it is a stressful task/behavior/thing. think of it like doing an exercise but adding a resistance band you know? like it just is taking extra effort i didnt account for but i will be okay!" and they interpret it as you saying"i am triggered, this is upsetting, this has to happen right now or never, i am going to cry from stress" and then try to comfort you but its like!!!! im not upset!!!!! but im Becoming upset bc im trying to explain my perspective and being treated like im broken and need gentleness when i dont really need ANYTHING other than like "alr cool sorry ur struggling" (and i can say this all Explicitly and even give a demo/mock convo of what feels good for me when sharing and its like in one ear and out the other)

[mxbitters]

the old care bears stuff could’ve been so fuckin cool if they just maybe werent patronizing about it and actually tried to understand that kids’ emotions and stuff like friendship/social isolation are really nuanced but they really just .  mm. cool fuckin demons though 

[buysomecheese]

I'm so confused by high schoolers wtf. Literally no one is every mean to me but my best friend has people telling them that other people hate them just randomly for no reason?? Makes no since we are basically the same-