#and it's.... it looks a way and it talks a way and it expects certain kinds of approval

[scribblesofagoonerr]

under pressure | katie mccabe x teen reader x caitlin foord

thank you to the anon that requested this one. it's been fun to write it!

i think i'm gonna plan a part 2 of this maybe, depending on what reaction i get from this one...

pairings: katie mccabe x teen reader x caitlin foord

summary: there's a lot of pressure that comes with being the next big thing in women's football sometimes

warning: talks of a eating disorder and angst

It sometimes felt like you had the world at your feet. You were well aware of the word on the street that you were the next big thing in women’s football. The headlines were quick to label you as a future star, comparing you to legends like Marta or Sam Kerr, but of course being the youngest to sign a professional contract sometimes came with a certain level of expectations, and that was something that nobody could really prepare you for the weight that would follow.

Living alongside Katie McCabe and Caitlin Foord felt like a dream in itself like it would for any football-crazy teenager and you were no different, you moved in with them after your own parents couldn’t travel to England with you. 

Caitlin and Katie were quick to become more than just teammates or mentors, they became family.

It should’ve been perfect– It mostly was.

At least until the pressure started to become too much for you, the media scrutinised everything about you: your every move, every game, every slip-up. There felt like there was never any room for mistakes and it started to take its toll on you.

The expectations suffocated you and you started to believe the medias’ words, not only the media but the pressure of fans as well, you felt like you were weighed down by an anker of harsh criticism.

Maybe if you were smaller– lighter, you could be faster. You could be better.

It only started small, barely noticeable in fact, just skipping meals and convincing yourself that you were just too busy. The comments on how lean you looked pushed you further, but it didn’t take long for the innocent excuses to morph into something darker.

The hunger pains were a lot easier to bear than the suffocating pressure, but you should have realised that it would be harder to hide, and before long, it wasn’t just you who had noticed the toll it was taking on you.

“You seem a lot quieter today kid,” Caitlin was the first to pick up on your bitter mood as you made your way out of the London Colney and headed in the direction of where Katie had parked her car earlier on when you all arrived for training, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m all good,” You gave her a weak smile and kept your shoulders slouched as you opened the car door to climb in.

Are you sure, kiddo?” Katie noted the exhausted look on your face as she opened the car door and climbed in, “Cait’s right, you don’t seem like yourself today.”

“I’m fine Katie,” You all but growled in response and slumped down in the backseat of the car, “I’ve already told you I’m fine, so just leave it, will you?” You hadn’t meant to be rude but you really do hate all the persistent questions being fired at you.

You hated being the centre of attention, despite what the media said about you.

It didn’t take long for you to begin feeling the weight of guilt, “Sorry, didn’t mean to snap like that.”

“It’s okay kiddo,” Katie replied, glancing in the rearview mirror and giving you a reassuring smile, “How about when we get home, we order pizza. My treat?” She offered.

Your smile faltered at the mention of food. Your stomach was hurting from the hunger, but couldn’t give in to the temptations, “Um, it’s okay, I don’t really fancy pizza, thanks,” You respond, biting your bottom lip.

You missed Katie and Caitlin sharing a glance with each other, catching the hesitation in your voice. It was subtle, but they both knew you well enough to notice.

At one point, you used to jump at the chance for pizza nights– especially after a long day of training and now you barely even showed an ounce of interest.

“Okay,” Katie simply nodded and started the ignition of her car up.

The drive back home was quiet, too quiet. The hum of the engine mixed in with the quiet volume of noise in the car filled the silence, but your thoughts were still loud. You couldn’t help but stare out the window, feeling the familiar tightening in your chest.

You hated the fact that they were starting to notice more, it was easier when they didn’t and you could still pretend that things were fine, even if they definitely were not.

You couldn’t ignore the way that your hands trembled slightly from exhaustion or the pounding in your head that had become all too familiar lately.

You just had to pretend for a little while longer.

Back at the house, you immediately make a beeline for your bedroom while muttering something about needing a shower. As soon as you closed the door, you leaned against it and took a deep breath. 

The initial feeling of hunger gnawed at you but you try to shove it aside, heading into the bathroom to splash cold water on your face all while ignoring the mirror, knowing you wouldn’t like what you saw.

“Hey kid! We’re gonna watch a film, do you want to come and join us?” Caitlin shouted upstairs to get your attention and you jolted slightly in shock.

“Uh, yeah, I’m coming!” You respond, turning the tap off and dabbing your face with a towel before making your way back into your bedroom, you shove a cosy hoodie on and shove your hair up in a messy bun before you head back downstairs to join the two of them.

“Here she is,” Katie exclaimed, gesturing for you to join them in the living room, “Where just deciding what film to watch, do you have anything you’d like to watch?” She questioned.

“Um, I don’t mind. I’m fine with anything,” You told her, plopping down on the sofa beside them as you listened to the two of them argue about what to watch.

Usually it was pretty comical when that happened, but you didn’t have it in you to laugh this time round.

The tension in the room was thick, and you knew it was only a matter of time before they brought it up again.

After what felt like an eternity, Caitlin broke the silence, “Y/N, we’re worried about you.”

Your stomach dropped and you should have known this was coming, but it still felt like a punch in the gut.

“You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping,” Katie leaned forward, her expression soft but serious, “You don’t seem like yourself, and we know that the pressure is a lot, but you know that you don’t need to carry it all by yourself.”

“I’m fine,” You shook your head, feeling the familiar panic rise in your chest, “I just have a lot going on right now.”

“We get it kid, but starving yourself isn’t the way to handle things,” Caitlins’ tone of voice was gentle but still firm. “There’s better ways to cope.”

You couldn’t help the tears that pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them away and refused to let them fall, “I’m not starving myself,” You whispered, trying to convince yourself more than them, “I just… I need to be better. I’m not good enough.”

“Y/N, you’re more than good enough,” Katie’s heart broke at your words as she scooted closer and placed her hand on your knee, “You’re incredible, and not just because of football but because of who you are, okay. You can’t do this to yourself, you can’t push yourself to the point where you’re hurting, kiddo.”

Your resolve was crumbing, you suddenly felt the weight of everything that you’d been holding in starting to break down, “I just… I don’t want to let anyone down,” You admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Hey, come here,” Caitlin reached over and pulled you into a tight hug, “You’re not letting anyone down, kid. We’re so proud of you– so proud. We just need you to take better care of yourself, and we’re not just talking about football here either. We care about you.”

Burying your face in her shoulder, the tears finally spilled, “I’m scared,” You choked out, “I… I don’t know how to stop.”

Katie soon joined the hug, her arms wrapping around both you and Caitlin, “You don’t have to do it alone,” She paused, “We’re here, we’ll help you, but you need to let us in.”

It felt like for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. To let them see just how scared and overwhelmed you really were, with all the added pressure of things.

It now made you realise that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to face it all on your own after all.

You could let them in.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[chiscaralight]

being roommates with kinich!! but you swear he hates you. he’s such pretty thing! but he almost never talks to you. he’ll do all the dishes, take out and fold your laundry and leave it on top of the washer dryer for you, he’ll clean when you’re not home and even leave food out for you when you get back late! but he just. won’t. speak to you!!!

and it’s driving you insane. you just want to get to know him! he’s gorgeous and he seems really sweet. he’s also built just the way you like. slender and toned, with the strongest gaze you’ve ever felt. is it so much to want to talk (and maybe fuck) your absolutely perfect roommate?

it’s driving you insane! so insane, that you start to miss when certain articles of clothes don’t come back from the laundry you pick up on top of the machine. maybe you didn’t actually put those panties in the bin this time, but who cares? kinich is shirtless while he does dishes this time, it’s the exact moment you need to pretend to watch something on tv!

and your sideward glances are not as slick as you think they are, because he knows exactly what you’re doing. it’s a ring from the doorbell that has you rolling your eyes, going to see who’s disturbing your peace while he licks the fork you used to eat the food he cooked a few hours ago. by the time you return, he’s already done, wiping down the counter and making his way back to his room wordlessly. you sigh in exasperation, you didn’t even get time to think about what fake story you could cook up to get him to talk to you! but as you groan at your misfortune in the living room, his fingers are wrapped hard around his cock, nose pressed into the underwear he’s stolen from you this time. It doesn’t take long before he’s making a mess around his hand, traces of your scent flooding his senses. but this pair is starting to lose its smell and he’s getting more and more fed up. how much longer can he keep this up before he breaks?

for you, it’s not much longer, because your fingers are deep in your cunt, thrusting in and out while you try to silence your sounds. you can’t even help the way his name slips from your mouth, you can’t even control it! it’s not your fault he’s been all over your mind for the past few weeks, at work, in classes, in the shower, it’s just too much for you!

and maybe you were just a bit louder than you expected, because your door is cracking open a few moments later, the afformentionef problem staring down at you ask you freeze up. he’s still deathly quiet as always, but he's practically jumping for joy in his mind. this is like a dream come true? you’ve basically been served to him on a silver platter, and he’ll make sure to not waste a single bite.

maybe a bit too literally, because your neck and chest are covered with love bites from his lips. one hand is holding one of yours above your head, the other very slowly brushing against your clit, big difference in the way he’s absolutely drilling into you. and you swear your seeing stars, moans morphing into cries as he angles up just the slightest bit, cock prodding against the walls of your cunt. it’s almost like magic, the way you feel. and he’s much less quiet now, because once his lips are on yours, he’s groaning into your mouth, teeth clashing with yours as he drags his lips downwards to sink his teeth into your skin again.

his build isn’t just for show either, because he’s flipping you over with such ease, holding your hips just where he needs them to be as he bullies his cock right back in.

kinich who now realizes how much power he holds over you, because whenever he even just as much passes by you, he can see your body tense up just the slightest bit. and he used it to his advantage! riling you up throughout the days with weird looks and soft touches, before ultimately deciding to bend you over the counter because he misses that cunt so much already </3

he’ll leave the door unlocked when he gets back, settling on the couch with speed so he can drag you onto his lap and have you ride him because it’s all he could think about in his classes.

and kinich that will beg you to let him cum in that sweet pussy just once, but between the two of you oh both know he’s lying. he’ll keep fucking his cum into you over and over, until he’s cumming inside you once again. he just can’t help it! you’re sucking him in so good like this, what did you expect him to do.

just like the way he took care of the little things, when you’re spent, on the verge of passing out on his cock, he’ll scoop you up and take you to his room, cleaning you up and wrapping you in his blankets so he can stay with you the entire night.

[merakiui]

This is so exciting! Please, more ideas from police officer!Darling and prisoner!Floyd

Maybe the prison has made an exception for Floyd because he's such a dangerous criminal (and they're trying to prevent as many injuries/casualties as possible). They allow him to spend an hour with you, one day per week. Of course this is all under your supervision (and the supervision of security cameras) and you're not afraid to cuff him if he does anything out of legal line that poses a threat to you or the other officers/inmates. But Floyd behaves very well during this time (and most times when it comes to you). He would never do anything to risk losing precious Officer Shrimpy time.

Most of the time you sit in a room and chat, or you'll play a board game. Maybe you'll doodle alongside him. Whatever Floyd wants to do, really. But one day you show up to the usual session looking...not so happy. Floyd can tell your entire mood is off even though you try to mask it. He's ready to defend your honor, make the small fry who made you sad pay (in broken teeth and blood), cheer you up, do everything and anything for you! He tells you you can talk to him about it if you want. He'll listen. You give him a weird look. Why would you ever confide in him? He probably just wants to see if your story will be interesting enough to keep him entertained for the next hour.

Floyd insists that's not it. Can't he just offer his ears? Why does there have to be some sort of ulterior motive? He's a criminal, but he's still a decent guy (or so he tells you). He just wants his favorite officer to feel better.

Perhaps the day has been particularly rough on you, or you're just tired and emotionally drained. Whatever the case may be, you end up confiding in him about your troubles. And, just as he promised, Floyd listens and provides verbal comfort in his unique Floyd way.

Afterwards, you apologize for taking up his hour with your personal problems. That was highly unprofessional. You're certain your coworker Riddle will nag you: "He's a criminal! He's playing with your pathos to lower your guard. That's the whole point." After all, the deal was that you'd spend time with him so he wouldn't cause trouble. Not...whatever that impromptu therapy session was.

Floyd simply smiles. "Nothin' to apologize for," he says, shrugging casually. "I'd rather spend an hour makin' sure you're okay than doin' a puzzle that can be done any other day. Shrimpy's more important than that."

Oh. That...was actually very sweet of him. You weren't expecting that.

[colorful-bees]

One of the many parts of N's character that makes me a little unwell is the infantilization of him done by Ghetsis. I think about it so often.

N is twenty years old at the time of Black and White and he still uses his childhood bedroom; we know he still uses it in recent times because when interacting with the train set inside during the final stretch of the game, the flavor text say the trains look recently played with. There is no doubt that this is the room that adult N stays and lives in.

The first thing that really sticks out to you is that N is an adult and his room is clearly not fit for one. The second thing you might notice is that it doesn't really look like a bedroom, it looks like a playroom. You get a sense of discomfort from the room and that's partially due to knowing who it belongs to but I also think it has to do with the fact that it doesn't even look like a bedroom; it doesn't look suitable for a child to necessarily live in.

N's room ties back into the themes of "innocence" surrounding N; children and childhood often represent purity and innocence, things N is expected to be. It's like he's expected to remain in this state of childishness as a way of him "staying" pure.

And it's not only within the environment that N lives in that you see this, it's with Ghetsis' dialogue towards N as well. There are a few instances where Ghetsis refers to N when he's not around; saying he once "set up a certain man as king" but when he's talking to N after he loses at the end of Black and White? He's belittling him and only calls him "boy". He's being condescending, he's telling N exactly how he feels about him and while berating him, that's the choice of words he uses.

Ghetsis doesn't see N as a human being and he also doesn't see him as an adult. It draws to mind the kinds of adults who view children as lesser than, people who don't have thoughts or autonomy of their own. And at the end of the day, it all ties back into Ghetsis' manipulation of N. He needs him to remain naive and unquestioning; he wants him to be that same child he found in the forest. It doesn't do him any good if N is a free thinking adult. It's just easier to force him into the role of a stupid, malleable child instead. An adult gets to have their own thoughts and feelings, gets to be their own person and those are privileges N isn't afforded.

It fits in perfectly with all of N's themes of inhumanity and lack of autonomy. No one ever sees him as simply a person. He'll always be a stupid child, a glorious leader, a freak without a human heart, a traitor and people are always telling him what he needs to be or what he already is. Ghetsis refuses to let N be fully human, to have full autonomy over himself whether that's treating him like an inhuman freak or a stupid child who doesn't know any better; he'll never be a whole human being.

[thevanillerose]

LEATHER | DABI x BLIND!READER | MY HERO ACADEMIA

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

Coarse. Soft. Plush. Hard.

Your world was defined by these words. It always had been. Blind from birth, you were used to being steeped in darkness, but because you had never known anything different, it wasn't something that made you feel bad. If anything, you weren't sure why people felt so sorry for you. Why they would express such pity towards you when they found out about your affliction.

You were getting on just fine, right? So truly...there were people out there who were far more deserving of their well meant concerns than you were. You didn't need anyone to worry over you.

Perhaps the only thing you wished you could have sight for was to know what you looked like. Somehow your parents were a perfect image in your mind, it was as if you could envision them anyway, despite your own impairment. When it came to you personally though, well...you didn't have the faintest clue.

Were you ugly? Pretty? People always claimed it was the latter, but how were you to know if they were lying or not? There was truly no way of telling.

So that was maybe the one thing that did bother you. The rest of it though, you could deal with. You would be alright.

In fact, you were so brave with it that you would walk home alone at any time of night, no qualms about it. Sure, there had been talk of a mysterious killer on the loose lately, but the most you had heard were vague rumors that you strongly doubted held any actual water.

Like hell you were going to get scared!

Once again, you were out in the early hours. Your senses were always on max settings anyway, so if someone happened to be pursuing you, you would pick up on it in a split. However, it wasn't what lay behind you that you needed to worry about.

A few steps forward, and suddenly you bumped into something. Staggering backwards, you immediately registered that it was a person, and instantly doubled over into a respectful bow of apology. “Sorry! Excuse me...I didn't see you there...” It was quite amusing to use a line like that, given that it was rarely so literal.

The fellow turned and cast his piercing turquoise eyes upon you, observing you in silence. The air was immediately tense.

Dabi hadn't been expecting you to run into him out of nowhere. The streets were usually quiet at this time, he'd go looking for trouble in certain spots sure, but those were usually the obvious ones, like your sketchy backwater nightclubs and 'massage parlors'.

One look at you, and he was confused. “...What are you doing out here alone?”

Male...I figured. Judging by his voice...he's probably around my age...

 “I...I usually come out at any time, really. I was just picking up some supplies-”  You held up the plastic bag filled with goodies from the 24 hour mart. He stared at it for a moment, before letting his eyes flicker back to you again.  “It's dangerous.”

 “Well-” you lowered the bag and shrugged, “-I know that's what they say but...if I stayed inside just because I was scared, it would be like handing over control to whatever bad guys are out there. It would be like they were already winning.”

 He quirked a black brow. Interesting take.

 “...You're brave.”  You heard him take a few steps forward, around your side, behind you. Shuddering, you could sense his fingertips gliding ever so lightly against the back of your shoulder, across the nape of your neck and to your other arm.   “How do you know you've not just run into an enemy though?”

 Well now you were really wondering.    “...Because...you're standing out here on the pavement, right by the road. People like that usually lurk in the shadows...”  “It's dark enough out here though.” he stated, as he circled around to your front again, and you could sense him standing closer than before, “There's nobody else around...no cameras watching...just you and me. I could get away with anything.”

 Now the fear was setting in. He was certainly talking like a killer...so could he really be? You swallowed uneasily and tried to step around him, but his hand caught your side and pushed you back, prompting you to drop the bag as you jolted. Those cartons of chocolate milk you'd bought were scattered.

 “Please, I don't want any trouble!” you insisted, and he tilted his head.  “Maybe you should have watched where you were going. Maybe you shouldn't have been walking out alone at night.”  “I-I'm entitled to!”  “So am I.”

 “...You're the killer they've been talking about?”  “Maybe.”

 This was insane. Even you felt like you were being reckless now. However, you needed to find some way to excuse yourself or run from him. You'd worry about calling the police when you were somewhere safe.  Then again, what would you even tell them?

 “Look...I...if you let me go I won't say a word...” you promised, but he simply scoffed.  “Yes you will, don't lie. You're going to file a police report at the first chance you get.”  “No! No I won't because, because I wouldn't even be able to in the first place!”  “...And what is that supposed to mean? You've seen my face, my location, I basically admitted to you that I'm the killer. Of course you can file a report.”

 “...” Telling him this seemed like as much of a bad idea as a good one...but you would do it.

 “...I...I don't know what you look like. I can't see you.”  There was a long pause. Dabi stared at you, blinking a few times, before leaning in just a little bit.  “...Excuse me?”  “I-I said I can't see you. Because I'm blind.”

 That threw him for a total loop. He hadn't been expecting it. Though now that he really looked at you, he supposed that your eyes weren't really focusing on anything in particular, and they certainly weren't looking at him. So, well, he believed it.

 What now?

 “...Okay. So you're blind. I suppose that...removes the problem for me.”  “A-are you still going to kill me?” you dared to ask, and there was another frightening pause, before he sighed.  “...No...There's little point in it. Just another mess I'd have to clean up.”

 Instantly you were almost bowled over by a wave of relief.  “Th-thank you!” you gasped out, and quickly crouched down to find the items you'd dropped. Dabi watched you fumbling for a moment, your hand patting the ground as it tried to find what it was looking for.  

 He didn't quite know why. Perhaps there was just something tender about you, either way, he ended up crouching down to pick up the carton.

 At the very moment he reached out though, so too did you, and for a split second, your knuckles brushed.

 Instantly you recoiled and gasped. What you'd just touched, it was unexpected.  “What was that??”  “Hm? Oh right...you can't see it.” Dabi sighed and put the carton back in the bag but remained crouching there in front of you, examining his own hand. “...My skin isn't really what you'd call regular.”

 Admittedly, you were curious. He seemed to be behaving more calmly and rationally right now too. Would it really be so bad if you asked?

 “May I...touch it again?”    “Huh?” Dabi quickly looked at you, brow furrowing. “...Why?”  “Because I...I suppose I'm just curious. I won't if it bothers you...I've just...never felt anything like that before.”

What am I doing? What am I doing!? This guy's a killer!!   ...Why am I being nice to him?

 Perhaps the better question would have been vice versa. For Dabi actually conceded, brushing your hand with his again and allowing you to gently run your fingers up his wrist. You didn't even know his name, and yet you were crouched on the ground with him, caressing his arm and feeling how rough, tight the skin was...like it had been burned to a crisp.

 “...What happened to you?” you had to ask him, noticing there were hard staples plastered in there too, as if he were some zombie that had been stitched up. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you reached up with both hands this time, laying them gently against his cheeks and cupping his face.

 His jaw was much the same. It felt similar, like he was damaged. But you could tell his face wasn't unpleasant. He had a good structure, you could tell-  “What are you doing?”  His voice suddenly sounded, a little sternly so, and his hands took your wrists just to guide them down again. Hesitating, you lowered your head.

 “I'm sorry...I act a little rash sometimes...”  “...It's fine. I can tell.” he uttered, but he hadn't let you go just yet. “...But I think I'd rather know about you. How did you become blind?”

 This was such an odd situation to be in. Confessions on a dirty pavement, and confessions to a supposed killer no less. What if you said the wrong thing and he just ended you right here and now? This scarred man did seem to have a cold disposition...but for some reason...you wanted to open up to him anyway.

 “I didn't really 'become' blind, I've been like this from birth.” you explained, and though you couldn't see it of course, his eyes widened.  “...Oh?”

 “Yeah, so...hah...I don't even know what I look like. Sometimes I imagine I must be the scariest thing walking around out here.”

 Dabi's hands slowly slipped away, making you worry. He laid them in his own lap, and watched you. The concerned emotions flickering across your face, like you were suddenly fearful you'd admitted too much. You were obviously nervous around him, but it was like you didn't want to deter him either.

Is he really the killer? I want to run, and yet...I don't.

 His hand slowly extended towards you again. That unmistakable touch against the skin of your cheek, as he let it rest against your face. You could feel his thumb, gently rubbing in a circle. Your hammering heartbeat slowly calmed. You found yourself sinking against his palm.

 “You're a curious one. A bit of a weirdo.” he added, and cracked a smile you couldn't see. Maybe you somehow knew it was there regardless.

 “But...you're pretty too.”

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS!

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I love adamsapple, like it's probably my favorite ship. Which is saying a lot because I have so many- but we're not here to talk about my shame.

I'd love to see more fanfics or rps touch on how Lucifer leaving Adam behind in Eden and taking Lilith with him, and eventually Eve, would have affected Adam.

Like, that's fucked up! And even though we don't know when Lucifer got with Eve, but let's say it was when he offered her the apple.

You just know Adam was reeling after Lucifer and Lilith got together. I like to think that Adam and Lucifer were best friends, or at least, Adam had a crush on Lucifer. He was technically a baby, even though he was born an adult, I like to think he had a child-like mind. All innocent and curious. Just, new.

I couldn't imagine having limited conciseness, basically under the control of Heaven and putting your trust in someone who then just crushes that and you're heart. Adam was probably being emotionally manipulated, I could only imagine the type of shit the angels would tell me. Telling him how to act, how he needs to love Lilith and create more humans.

This part goes for both Lilith, Adam and Eve; how could Heaven expect basically adult-baby humans to raise new humans effectively?

Back to Adam. The amount of pressure he would have been under because he was the man, he was made to be the protector and provider. But how was he ment to do that when not even Heaven told him how?

Lilith wouldn't listen to him, he probably spoke many times about what Heaven was saying- and she more than likely dismissed him or took that as Adam trying as him trying to control her. Which, yeah sure, maybe. But he wasn't controlling in the way we see controlling behavior now.

He was scared. She wasn't listening, and Lucifer was no help because he's Lucifer.

I like to think Lucifer was the only person Adam actually formed a bond with. Their personalities just meshed so well. To have the only person that understands you start dismissing you, spending more time with your wife- without you and then abandons you because you don't think the same as them? Then seeing them under the forbidden tree, doing whatever they were doing (lets say they were fucking). And you just know Lilith said some Absolutely ruthless shit to Adam. Thats absolutely brutal. That would fuck anybody up, but being a few weeks/months old? With Heaving drilling constant fear into you? Realizing you failed at your one job? The only person you ever connected with leaving you for someone you were made for?

People always say Lilith was made for Adam, but Adam was made for Lilith. He lost that part of himself.

Then, to have a bone taken out of your body, which was probably non consensual. Then there's a new, random woman there? And then the fucking pressure from Heaven is 10× worse than before because you failed your wife?

I don't think he would have been able to form a bond with Eve because of how terrified he was. I've been in situations where I was shit scared of a certain person coming to my house, into my home, and i was constantly on edge, trying to see if that random person is actually them, or making sure no one is waiting for me to get home. Its just pure paranoia. He was constantly looking for Lucifer, trying to make sure he didn't get to Eve, because of how much he hurt Adam, he basically damned Adam in the eyes of Heaven.

He would have experienced new emotions, without having to bite the apple. In a way he could have been the first person to feel hate, anger, self hatred, paranoia, anxiety and depression. Imagine having no answers to how you're feeling? Even worse, it doesn't fucking matter because all you're good for is breeding and protection, both of which you've failed at.

THEN that fucker you've been paranoid about gets to your new partner. Seeing Eve under the same tree with Lucifer and Lilith- then realizing they didn't even try to convince you to eat the apple because you were a lost cause? You're on Heavens side? Which wasn't the case- Adam was petrified of them!

So he was bad for Heaven, and he was bad for the people who hurt him. So what was he good for? So far, nothing.

I'm sure he would have loved his kids, but I think he would have resented them in some way. They were all he was made for, nothing else, not to live, not to experience, not to grow.

I think Adam wouldn't have bitten the apple, not by choice anyway. Either he was terrified of being left along again, and he wanted what Lucifer, Lilith and Eve had, maybe then he'll understand them. Surprise, he didn't. He hated free will. There was somehow more pressure on him to make decisions that not only benefitted Eve but now also his kids.

And Lucifer was mad that Adam bit the apple for Eve. Why for her but not me? He was immature so of course Lucifer would be selfish about this and not see how much taking the apple destroyed Adam.

I love Adam and Lucifer as a couple, but I know it wouldn't be canon, as much as they would be such a sweet relationship, I know Lucifer has hurt Adam way too much. Who knows what went on in those meetings before Lilith left. But I bet they would have been complete assholes to Adam, especially Lucifer, Lilith would have been a fucking cutthroat. And as much as her words would hurt Adam, it would be seeing Lucifers hate for him that would tear him down and break his heart all over again. In. Each. And. Every. Meeting.

Lucifer maybe a victim in the sense that all he did was fall in love. But other than that, he's just reaching. He's not a victim. "Oh but Adam slaughtered my people!", you let him, you let an army into Hell, you signed the contract, you never cared for sinners, in fact you probably hated them. And for what? Following in your footsteps- basically going against all the Heaven stands for. "He tried to control Lilith!", did you see him? Or did you forget what Heaven and the Angels were like?

I feel like if Adam fell, it would so long for them to get back to being friends again, or to a place where they could stand to be in the same room as each other.

Adam deserves so much love, not from a partner made from him or for him, not from the angels. But just from someone that sees him as Adam, and not the first man. I know he's made that as his whole personality, but I think he hates being the first man. Time and time again he would have been introduced as the first man, not as Adam. Him being made was all that mattered. Everything on earth was glorified, no one knew the shit he went through in Eden. The angels wouldn't understand and there was no way in hell we was going to open up to a random winner for them to eventually leave him.

Adam is such a heartbreaking character that I think a lot of Hazbin fans just gloss over. He was portrayed as a one time villian- and not even a villian, he was just a pawn of Heaven.

He's such a funny character, but I'd love to see more of him, to see who Adam actually is. Not the dickmaster or the first man, but just Adam.

Lucifer and Adam would have such a funny friendship if they sorted shit out, I can fucking see it. Who cares about some weird rivalry Alastor and Lucifer have- I want to see some fucking banter between Adam and Lucifer. Them just being a menace, could you imagine the type of shit they'd get up to in Hell?

Adam finally being able to get to know himself for the first time ever, and getting to know this new Lucifer- who has now gone through heartbreak because of Lilith. Fuck. Give me two dad's, on the roof, sharing a beer having a good ol bitching session. And about anything!

That's my rant done, I could go on lo ger but I need to actually become a functioning adult.

Okay- bye!

HOLY SHIT!!

That was a lot but I completely agree with you on all of that Adam really got the shit end of the stick in the beginning.

No wonder he became an asshole, everyone he ever tried to get close to just hurt him over and over again.

And yes I would love for Adam to come back and him and Lucifer to sort out their shit and be friends again because how fucking cool would that be?

[shadowuponstorm]

You're Gonna Get Us in Trouble

Reader is the newest member of the 118 and is a huge rule follower. So what happens when her secret relationship almost comes to light when a certain Diaz can't keep his hands off of her? Oh, did I mention that the reader is Bobby Nash's niece?

I'm not sure if this should be a warning, there are some spicy sentences (regarding f!oral receiving and squeezing of the ass), but they don't qualify this as smut fanfic, in my opinion! If I'm thinking incorrectly, please tell me in the comments or message me.

I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating on the nightstand. Reaching my hand over, I turn the phone towards me to see the contact name, "Uncle Bobby," taking over the whole screen. I silently curse before answering with a "Morning, Uncle Bobby. Did you need something?"

"Sorry to be waking you up before shift, but I was wondering if you could run by the store to grab some essentials for me," Bobby says as I feel the other body beside me starting to move.

"Yeah, sure. Do you have a list?" I asked as I felt a pair of lips kissing a trail behind my ear and then stopping at the one spot that makes me shiver, "Actually, can you text it to me? I still got sleep on my mind to remember all of it."

Once Bobby told me that was completely fine, I hung up the phone after we exchanged love you. I turned to face Eddie and slapped him on his bare shoulder before scolding him, "He could've heard you!"

"It was worth the risk," Eddie said as he leaned closer to kiss me, "When are we eventually going to tell people?"

"It's bad enough that he keeps overhearing Buck talk about the bruises on my neck. It's going to become worse if he finds out I'm dating one of his 'boys' after he warned me not to," I respond as I sighed before telling Eddie it will be soon.

Eddie and I have been dating for six months, which has been the best months of my life. He has all the qualities that make him amazing, sweet, funny, always knows how to take care of me when the situation calls for it, and he's attentive.

"Amor, keeping us a secret has to be eating away at you. It can't be good for you," Eddie whispered as I remind him how I'm a follower and nobody expects me to start bending the rules just because I'm dating a fellow firefighter, "Well, I've got an idea that will help keep your mind off of it."

"Edmundo, no, we only have 15 minutes before we have to report for a shift," I said as Eddie smirked before pushing up the shirt I was wearing, making my lace panties come into view.

"I only need 8 of those minutes," Eddie whispered while his head disappeared under the covers as his fingers trailed my underwear down my legs before moving them back up to spread my folds.

"Eddie-" I started to laugh before letting out a moan from feeling his tongue enter me and I run my hand through his hair before balling into a fist to pull at it, which in turns, makes him groan out into me.

Let’s just say, it took exactly 7 minutes and 20 seconds for Eddie to make me come from just his mouth. After I “finished”, we got our showers, put on our uniforms, and left my apartment in our separate vehicles before he heads to the station while I head to the store.

“Wow, your mystery man certainly is a leech,” I hear Buck shout as I rush over to him and slammed my hand over his mouth before telling him to shut the fuck up.

“Is this the same guy or a different one?” Howie asks as I explained to him that I’m not that type of girl, “I’m just saying, no judgment here. Buckaroo here knows what it’s like.”

“Hey, come on, that was years ago! I’ve now since quit that,” Buck complains as I laugh and told him that I knew that he has since changed his ways.

I head over to my locker and started putting my stuff in there before I feel someone tap my shoulder and whisper, “Why is Diaz on your shirt?”

“Wait what?” I asked in a panic as I try to look in a mirror before I hear Hen laughing and I groaned before saying “Real funny, Hen.”

Hen is the only one who knows about mine and Eddie’s relationship, since she caught the two of us getting a little too close for comfort at an event for the department. Turns out, she has a bet going with most of the boys that Eddie and I would end up together so she offered to keep the secret if I help her win.

“So, you were a little late this morning, I take Eddie took his sweet time?” Hen teases, making me laugh before explaining that Bobby called asking for me to grab some essential for lunch or dinner, “Wait, did Bobby hear him?”

"Almost, can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if my uncle has heard his niece ‘getting some loving’?” I said as Hen snickers and starts to laugh before I smack her arm, harshly whispering, “It’s not that funny!”

“What’s not funny?” I hear Uncle Bobby asked, so I swiftly responded nothing before he gives me and Hen a concerned look.

“She was just telling me about how she’s embarrassed she burnt herself with the curling iron again,” Hen responds as Bobby shook his head and said “You’ve been getting quite a lot of those bruises lately, try to be careful next time alright?”

“Of course Uncle Bobby,” I told him as he walks away, before I turned my attention back to Hen, “I’m going to murder Eddie.”

Hen laughs again as she walks away towards upstairs, leaving me alone in the locker room. A few minutes go by before I hear the door open and footsteps enter.

“Hola Amor,” I hear Eddie whisper in my ear as I feel his hand move down to my ass to squeeze it.

“Eddie,” I warned him while I reached back and removed his hand, “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

Eddie then moves me around, facing him before putting his hands on my hips and whispering, “With who? Everyone’s upstairs and we’re alone.”

“Even if they are upstairs, this room is like a glass house,” I whispered back as Eddie shook his head and leans in to give me a kiss.

“You worry too much, maybe your uncle will be happy you finally found a handsome man who swept you off your feet,” Eddie says, making me smile, before he continues with, “And maybe he won’t be too mad that his two firefighters happen to be dating.”

“You don’t understand how overprotective Bobby can get, especially about family,” I respond before sighing, “Ever since he’s lost his wife and kids in that fire, he’s been beating himself up mentally. Heaven forbid, something happens to me, to Athena, to May, to Harry, to anyone in the fire family under his watch, I fear he’s could go back into that spiral that made him fall off the wagon.”

“While I can’t exactly say I’ve been in your shoes witnessing that part of Bobby, I do know what it’s like to be overprotective about someone you love,” Eddie says and before I could say I know he’s meaning Christopher, he continues, “I never told you this but before I was to re-enlist to provide money for Christopher’s medical bills, Shannon left us to go take care of her mother. She begged me to go with her, but all I was focusing on was making sure I could give Christopher everything he wanted or needed. She called me selfish for doing so.”

“Edmundo Diaz, nothing about you is selfish. Your son was born with complications and has cerebral palsy so he’s bound to have medical expenses at some points of his life. That kid is so lucky to have you as his father and don’t forget, you had an army standing right behind you helping you out with whatever you needed while you were working various jobs to sustain a living,” I reminded him, which made him give me the biggest smile I’ve ever gotten from him, before he kisses me again, but this time with passion.

“Damn it!” We heard someone shout before we pulled apart and jerked our heads to the sound, Buck.

“Pay up gentlemen,” Hen says as Eddie and I exited the locker room, “Thanks to you two, I’m now $40 richer.”

“How long has this been going on?” Chimney asks before glancing his eyes over to my uncle.

“Are you mad?” I asked, nervous for his reaction since like I told Eddie, he’s overprotective about family.

Bobby then starts making his way downstairs and walks toward me before pulling me into a bear hug.

“There is no way I could be mad about my niece being happy with the man she loves,” Bobby says before I squeezed him back, “But really, how long have you two been together?”

“6 months,” Eddie and I both said before Buck asked if Christopher knows, which prompts Eddie to answer with, “He knows, he’s been very excited about the two of us.”

“When did you tell him?” I asked, curious how Christopher has managed to keep the secret.

“He actually drew a picture of the three of us and when I asked him why he included you, he said you were like a second mom to him. Always there when he needed you or there if he wants to talk to you. He also had suspicions when he saw my contact name for you on my phone,” Eddie responds, making me laugh before I ask him what it is.

Eddie takes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up the contacts before scrolling to the name he has for me, which made my heart melt.

“Mi Amor Por Siempre, which translates to ‘My Love Forever’ in English,” Eddie explains as I try not to cry about the meaning in front of everyone.

“I wonder what your contact name is for him,” Buck pipes up as I laugh at the random outburst.

“Mi Soldado, my soldier,” I said, making Buck confused and he then asked me if it would’ve made more sense for it to be my firefighter, “Eddie may be a firefighter, but he was a soldier first. Still is even if he’s in a different profession, he soldiered through single parenthood, war, and especially soldiered through fire. I couldn’t be any more prouder of him.”

“Now you two are perfect for one another,” Hen says as Eddie dips me and kisses me, making everyone hoot and holler at the scene.

Suddenly the alarm rang and the voice came on to tell us where we were needed. While everyone is hustling and bustling to get ready to leave the station, Eddie whispered, “That wasn’t too bad, was it?”

I smiled before saying, “Definitely not,” as I put my hand in his and we start racing toward the truck, with not a care in the world who’s watching us be in love anymore.

[housecow]

Would you recommend getting fat to others? I'm on the fence about it so I'd appreciate anything you have to say

this is very hard to answer, but i’m going to be honest. and keep in mind i have been big most of my life—being fat is all i’ve known and most likely all i will ever know.

you WILL be treated differently by people when you’re fat. i cannot speak to this as i don’t have a reference point from being skinny, but plus sized ppl always talk about these things. you will be treated worse. people won’t look at you in the eye, they won’t hold open doors for you, you may get dirty looks and comments. if you’re used to getting attention in a certain way, that may cease. if you have anxiety and insecurities based on how you look, you’ll think every whisper between passerby are about you and how fat you are. your family may make comments if that’s who they are. this can all be incredibly difficult to handle.

that being said—i haven’t experienced this all too much. i used to be insecure about myself and my body, but that’s fading as i get older. i’m also “lucky” enough to have a figure that holds the weight “well,” according to some people, and that combined with living in TX (many fat ppl) means i haven’t experienced much of what i described above. im also lucky enough to have a family that doesn’t comment on my size.

you need to be confident in yourself and your decision. i want to say you should get fat, but it’s something you need to decide for yourself. does it match your lifestyle? can you see yourself happy in a fat body several years down the line?? it is hard to lose weight, if you decide to, and you should always just look to be comfortable with yourself, imo. if that means gaining weight and getting fat, do it!

[believaeu399]

this is kinda nsfw I think but um

Do yall think Jin and Nokto have mastered the art of pulling out? These two sleep around non stop and I’m sure they don’t want any mini versions of them running around. I know in a certain era they use something that’s almost like a condom but it’s made from an animal and I’m not sure they had it in the era that Ikepri takes place in

[thedroloisms]

What’s really frustrating is seeing people say “Tommy should’ve known”/“How did Tommy NOT know about his behavior” and it’s just not something you say? Ever? It’s like asking Shelby how she didn’t see the warning signs. When you’re deep in it— when you’re THAT close to someone— you’re going to not see the red flags that someone on the outside might be able to see. Tommy’s an immature guy and he fucked over Dream, yes. However he’s probably reeling over the realization his “big brother” abused someone.

god, for sure. ive also seen people talk about how "if you saw him manipulating you and your friends why didn't you SAY ANYTHING!!!" and it's just ... i'm sorry uh. do you guys not. understand. like there's a power dynamic? there's a power dynamic here people. that's ,,, part of how manipulation in this manner works. like, i know people are saying this because they don't like the person in question, and while i'm not exactly their biggest fan either, being a shitty person doesn't prevent you from being a victim, and vice versa. like, just because you might not like this person or think that they're a shitty person bc of various reasons doesn't make victim blaming suddenly okay, you know.

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Dorian Pavus

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Metalheads who don't like/respect Babymetal bc their "look" isn't, what? Traditionally metal? are so cringe. Like bro it's an alternative music scene we're supposed to say FUCK tradition????? What's wrong w y'all... Embarrassing

And also they are missing out bc Babymetal fucking rules

[plutosoda]

hello, you are cool person and I wanna talk to you more, but I am NERVOUS to DM you

i also get nervous about responding 👍so

[rindomness]

BTW I genuinely love that night in the woods does not, in the end, tell you if it was all real or not. It does not even explain whether the goat was real. It gives you mundane explanations - mae's mental health history, gas leaks, the strikes and structural instability in the mines - but also it's juuust legitimately supernatural enough that you end the game going... well. was that all imagined? how much of that was legitimate? the cultists all talk about getting abilities from the pit, and mae's friends are there and are confirming this is actually happening, and I think that was the first time in the game I actually approached the idea that there really was something else going on and it wasn't all just things we the player are experiencing because we're getting it from mae's perspective and mae is a truly intense unreliable narrator.

But: how much does it matter if there's actually an eldritch goat god underneath possum springs, or if it was all just a delusion on mae's behalf, or if it's a gas leak? that isn't the point. that was never the point.

also that maintenance guy is a ghost im 90% sure

[sherlock-is-ace]

Obviously plastic surgery is about the person getting the surgery and nobody else. They can do whatever they want and I truly hope they're doing it for the right genuine reasons and not societal pressure and shitty beauty standards. And I hope they feel great and confident and in love with the results. But the way some people change everything that made them unique and interesting looking in order to look like Generic Rando #5 is so weird to me...

[hotmess-exe]

a few of the jokes i heard at this small stand-up joint the other night were unfunny in that confused, ""edgy"" way when people try to jump on the bandwagon of [x subject] joke but have no actual personal relation to or opinion of the subject.

so basically they need me.