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#and its sad because i do really like him and i dont want to move on but i need to.
sakkaira · 2 months
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『あなたは、星のように美しい。しかし、すごく遠くて辛いから、真剣に好きになるのは愚かなことだ。だから、もしあたしを掴まなかったら、美しい思い出だけを通じてあなたのことを覚えているよ。』
Romaji ¬ Anata wa, hoshi no you ni utsukushii. Shikashi, sugoku tookute tsurai kara, shinken ni suki ni naru no wa orokana koto da. Dakara, moshi atashi o tsukamanakattara, utsukushii omoide dake o tsuujite anata no koto o oboeteiru yo.
Translation ¬ You are beautiful like the stars on the sky. But it's so painful that you are far away, so it would be foolish of me to fall for you hard. Thus, if you won't seize me, I will only remember you as a beautiful memory.
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penisbilt · 5 months
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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heatmiiiiser · 4 months
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Ggrrr I wish disenchantment was better. I binged it all because I'm sick somebody talk to me about this.
#the groening show on netflix#it had so much potential#and i did enjoy it!!! plenty of the characters were awesome#but it tried to be too big. wanted to incorporate too much. i didn't like beans magic. it got really repetitive#it felt like a lot of the movement between “lands” was super unnecessary. and took up a lot of time that could have been used in narrative#development#and you know the most fucked up part is that there was a Canon wlw couple that was end game AND I DIDNT EVEN LIKE THEM TOGETHERRR#and the last seasons egregious hyperfocus on love specifically romantic love like#it was cringe im sorry!!! not great writing#im glad beans relationship w her dad got better but i didnt like how instantanious it felt#also obv. i hate the whole thing with prince derek and his pixie gf. ew. really weird#but there was so much good and it couldve been great#i still enjoyed it but it fell short in so many ways#HOW DO YOU HAVE A QUEER GIRL COUPLE THAT I DONT LIKE!!! ME!!! QUEER GIRL NUMBER 1!!!!!!#i like EVERY WLW SHIP#and mora x bean had potential but like#it seemed a lot of the time liek they didnt even really like eachother. they aggravated tf out of eachother and not in like a hehe gay ppl#who bicker type of way. it was very much lesbian couple written by straight man feeling. idk if thats true but its the vibe i got#to the end im sad elfo never really actionably got over his weird thing about bean. he just said he did#and him and miri/mop girl. ehhhhh#i like her but she should have had a more gradual introduction into the main cast because she really feels like an after thought#glad zog moved to the woods that seemed like the right move#bean kinda handing the kingdom off to the elves kinda felt like a cop out after thought#like she got all weird about this is their kingdom we stole it from them and then only rwally gave it up after she got something that she#wanted more#please let me remake this show!!!!!!!!#also steam land!!! i like the concept but the execution and the travellimg back and forth between the two#the biggest issue this show suffered with though was repetition.#animation was fun. i enjoyed the use of 3d especially in later seasons#a lot of the jokes were funny but a lot just fell short.
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476b · 10 months
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#ooouuuugghhhhhhh ive spend the last hour making myself sad :(#whyd i have to go catch feelings for someone who Could Not Give A Shit lol#its a blessing that im moving or i would probably just slowly kill myself for the next year#watching him Very Obviously like someone more than me lol#worst part is everyone knows im just some sadsack sidepiece#and like we were never 'together' so idk wtf im upset about!!!#i could go out and do just as much as he does!!!#but i guess i just wish it had been different and that i had gotten closer w everyone else before i had to leave :(#because now i really feel like i could have been spending way more time w everyone if i had stopped waiting for him to invite me to things#he never invited me to shit anyways!! i was ALWAYS the one to ask 'hey are you free sometime'#EVERY SINGLE TIME#killing him with hammers in my mind#i deserve so much better and i KNOW that but hes hot and smart and has such cool friends#and i just really wanted to be part of that group so badly#and i dont have any relationship expirience i dont know how all of this is supposed to Work i just#i dont know i guess i thought it would be different#anyways im seeing him again tomorrow for what might be the last time#and i wont tell him any of the things i should bc ill see his stupid beautiful face and forget everything i wanted to say#you know this mother fucker wont even help me move? more than an entire year together and he flat out says no to helping me#and i know for a Fact he'll never come visit me#and ill probably drive my stupid little ass down two+ hours just to see him#you know hes got at least two guys willing to drive hours just for him#i need to meet this other guy so we can unionize#cus i guarenteeeee hes probably treating this guy not much better than me#and i say probably the last time bc now itll be reliant on him actually making a fucking effort to see me lol#or itll just be at shows and stuff#not like itll make a big difference cus we onky saw each other once or twice a month ANYWAYS#actually makes me so angry why did i spend so much mental energy on this guy#ILL FIND SOMEONE IN ALBANY WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKES ME JUST YOU GUYS WAIT#btw if i know you irl... ignore this... its shameful...
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day
#the bin#i hate knowing why i feel so bad and not being able to do anything about it#im scared that ill never ever feel better. its been so long since i felt ok. im worried that ill make friends and still feel horrible all#the time and it wont matter. i cant keep doing this. im so tired of being all alone. im so tired of the constant inescapable dread#im going to figure something out. in a month ill be moved and i can start figuring everything out then#i hate not being able to focus on anything besides how bad i feel. i cant enjoy anything. theres so many shows i wanna watch but i cant#because im so distracted by this. theres so much manga i wanna read and i cant.#literally the ONLY thing that has been able to make me temporarily forget this for any amount of time is dungeon meshi#its so fucking good and it sparks so much joy that it does help but not enough. i get sad again really fast.#well. im trying really hard to manage my stress. i did the math on how much i should be getting. i know that i will have rent at least.#there are 2 weeks that i dont know what my hours will be but assuming i get 13 hours at least then i should have an ok amount for#moving. its possible theyll be worse and its possible theyll be better. im really hoping theyre better. my hours have been SO BAD recently#i dont know why. i know im not bad at my job or anything. i sont think my manager dislikes me either. he does this whenever someone#hasnt been feeling well and hell do it for a couple weeks and i think its him trying to be considerate but i have bills to pay man#technically there is a shift i could pickup but the store has a drive thru so im nervous to bc idk how that works and if im asked to do that#then ill have no idea so ive been avoiding taking any shifts like that#hopefully enough will pop up in the coming weeks and i can get some more hours. i know i can cover moving vehicle cost but idk how much#gas is gonna be so im suuuuper worried abt that. hhhh. hopefully my sister and her boyfriend can get me back the $300 they owe too#honestly idk how they werent able to afford rent but immediately after they were able to afford a 40 hour roadtrip and yimw off work#whatever. it doenst matter.#i wish i could deal with the other stuff messing me up rn but i cant fix the loneliness thing without not being alone and i cant fix that#it doesnt matter how much i tell myself ill make friends eventually or if i believe it or not. i feel bad because ive gone way too long#not hanging out with anyone and my brain cant handle it.#im gonna see if maybe i can play a game with my sister soon. or maybe i couod play smth with my younger sister even#i pkayed roblox with her for a little while. maybe she would want to again. i miss her :(
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southislandwren · 8 months
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no im fine its just the way i saw my friend who's mutual friends with mr. boy, and she was like 'I've been meaning to ask you about boy, what's happening??' and i had like no information to share because nothing is happening !! and i saw him at work today and among other conversation, i was like you havent texted as much this week as last, everything okay? and he went yeah. and then stopped talking and left the room. but im fine, it's fine, i'm not getting impatient or frustrated or anything
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michellejwhp2719 · 1 year
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#gonna rant here a bit abt nothing much but just because I have no one to talk about it with#i kinda like this guy and honestly. its not that big of a deal. but i do think he might like someone else and i have no idea who and its#making me a bit insane. Like. im not too bothered by it bc i think of it more as a whim than anything else. and im not going to cry if he#doesn't like me back. Like. im 18 dude I have no business in worrying too deeply aboyt those sorts of things yk? but i do miss the feeling#of someone liking me back. I do feel like I haven't gotten that in a while and it does make me a bit sad. Yk the whole 'what is so-#inherently unlikeable about me' sorta thing. Should I keep waiting or should I do something or what. like. what do I do. Im trying to stay#focused on uni and my professional future but I cant help thinking about all these other things#I feel like its the being a young adult of it all. that if I wasnt maybe I wouldnt be thinking about it too hard. I already have so much on#my plate as it is. I cant focus on everything and I feel like I cant focus on anything anyway#I thought I was a bad person for thinking about making a move when I had JUST found out that he had broken up w his gf just a couple of#weeks prior to me finding out. but apparently for him it was a long time coming. And now he's completely moved on and likes someone else#and its driving me mad not knowing who it is. Because I also cant fathom the possibility of it being me. I really cant. And its gonna sound#so stupid and superficial but god. he has so many pretty girls in his life and Im just here. Im just me. How could it be me.#when it never is#like I said. its dumb. and im overthinking it but I cant help it. I dont even think I want an actual relationship or anything. but I do#want to be selfish about it. I want it to be me#And I feel terrible because I know this isn't about him. its about wanting someone to like me. and he doesn't deserve that.#I dont know what to do
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kim-jongin-s · 1 year
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#my only associations with real life romantic relationships are that its 1) sth i cant have and 2) sth that takes away the ppl i have#im close with my sister but since she got into her relationship (thats about to turn into marriage this year) we barely spend time together#just the two of us#my ex bff who i thought was my platonic soulmate fucked me over bc of her boyfriend & asked me to move out bc she wants to live w him#my current closest friend knows my loneliness & abandonment issues and i support her relationship bc ive seen her go through such dark ti#-mes and i have been having stressful 3 weeks and all i want is human contact and to just meet up w someone and talk about sth thats not#work but she told me she wont have time#and all i wish for is to to be someones first choice and not get left alone all the time#yeah independence is cool and all but rn i just wish for some quality time for each other and i have no one to reach out to#im really sad and dont know what to do#i hate the preaching about how you need to enjoy your alone time and feel good by yourself because bruh i just need support#and some affection#i think i deserve better but i dont get why things never get better#this was a heartbreak moment#esp because my ex bff abandoned me like that and my current friend was with me through that#and when she got into her relationship she tried to calm down my anxiety and promised me she's not gonna leave me#and she has important plans this week i get it but why does life make it be like this where i still get abandoned
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miya-rin · 2 months
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“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”
shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.
“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.
“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.
“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.
“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.
“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”
“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”
“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.
“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.
“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.
you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.
“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.
“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.
“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”
“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”
“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.
“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”
“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”
“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3
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slvttyplum · 5 months
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Okay this isn’t mean to be like those weird requests you’ve been getting but ik it’s kinda difficult. Bu readers throat hurting and Gojo being like “I have something that can fix that😏” yk how guys be saying and reader actually accepts. IF ITS WEIRD IM SORRY I DONT MEANT IT I JISY THOUGHt IT WOIOD BE FUNNY
for some reason this is really short… sorry
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your throat has been hurting for days, and there was nothing that was helping. you had to just wait it out, but satoru couldn't stand to let you sit there in agony, so he had to do something about it. standing in front of you, rubbing down your hair and slowly lifting your chin, and his other hand unbuttoning his pants. 
was satoru sad because your throat hurt? yes. was he using that as an excuse to get you to suck his dick? also yes. satoru wasn't the perfect guy; sometimes he was selfish, and this time he just wanted to be selfish a little while longer before pampering you.
"open your mouth, baby." your mouth opening wide, your tongue out as he pulls down his pants and briefs, his dick landing on your tongue, and his hand sliding to the side of your face, grabbing his dick and sliding it into your mouth. your hands on his hips as he slides himself in deeper, the tip of his dick touching the back of your throat, a little bit of his cum rubbing against it. 
his eyes watching every little thing you were doing, tracing over how your tongue slides around his length, then sliding your head back to lick over the tip. his thumb rubbing over your hollow cheeks, sucking in his stomach, holding himself back from slamming himself into you, the taste of his dick lingering in the back of your throat.
there was no pain but immense pleasure, your throat tingling as you kept sliding down on his dick, licking everything and making sure he could feel the way your cheeks hollowed out whenever you went down. satorus eyes squeezing shut as you keep going, your breath sucking on as you throat down deeper on him.
the pain that was lingering in the back of your throat for the last couple of days was slowly disappearing the more his dick hit the back of your throat. you would rather have this feeling of gagging over him than that pain.
"are you starting to feel better?" satoru looked back down on you, olacing his other hand on the side of your cheek as he pushed himself deeper into you. he couldn't hold out anymore; the more your spit was covering his dick, the more he felt like he was going to cum.
his hips were moving on their own as satoru kept going, his eyes squeezing shut as he finished, his cum leaking down your tongue and down your throat, sliding his dick out of your mouth as he watched you swallow. 
"good job."
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goldsainz · 3 months
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❝ SO LONG, MONACO ❞
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MASTERLIST!
pairing . . . charles leclerc x reader
◦∘。゚. warnings . . . use of y/n (once, i think), cursing, a whole load of angst, charles is an asshole, rushed ending, barely proofread.
◦∘。゚. summary . . . you love monaco, but it has run its course just like your relationship has.
◦∘。゚. note . . . i am obsessed with ttpd, i don’t care what anyone has to say, it was a masterpiece and i will not take criticism about it. this is based on so long, london i really recommend listening to this while reading, or just listening to it in general if you need a good cry. i have been writing this for months now, so i hope you guys like it and please dont mind the ending it was the best i could do 😔💙
[ word count: 3,4k ]
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You walked through the streets of Monaco, mystified by how bright the city looked even in the night. The street lights were enchanting to witness, and the chatter of people made you appreciate the small country even more. So private, yet so lively, like a hidden spot you had loved so much you just had to make it your home. 
The walk to Charles’ apartment is more calming than expected, you’ve come to terms with the fact that you’ve been pulling at a thread that is almost undone. No matter how hard you tried, there was no use in pulling him tighter when he had already pulled out of the relationship.
You were, in all honesty, tired. 
You swore your back almost hurt from all the efforts you made to keep him with you. It’s like you both had settled for conformity, for the monotony of not bothering to do anything. You were together for the sole sake of how harder it would be to separate, but not because of the love you had for the other, simply because of the aftermath of breaking up after 6 years of relationship. Moving out, telling your friends and family, the whole world scrutinizing what went down when really nothing had gone down. There was nothing that could go down, to begin with. 
Your relationship had become more of a commodity, one that was draining you while your boyfriend continued his life like nothing was going on. Maybe that was your problem, you simply cared too much. 
And so you stopped trying to make him laugh. Stopped making those small efforts that had amounted to hundreds of gestures that went unnoticed by him. Maybe you were selfish for that, for wanting his undivided attention to things that weren’t that great. After all, he had his own things to wallow over, things that were simply greater than you.
You tried to blame Ferrari. Ferrari that always was the topic of conversation. “Can you believe they made pit so late?” Yes, I can. “Do you think I’m putting to much faith in the team?” Yes, you are. You don’t tell Charles all the things you should, you share his sadness and give him a shoulder to cry on, just to receive that small amount of affection. 
His sadness gives you the taste of what once was and now isn’t. You can’t find in yourself to blame him for becoming dependent on Ferrari, because haven’t you become the same way for him?
It isn’t long before your walk is over, and you have to face the moment you want to dread, but instead there is relief that surges in your heart. A feeling you resent but equally embrace. 
You step into the elevator, pressing the button for his apartment that you wonder when you decided to let everything go on for as long as it did. That is something you incriminate Charles for. Did he really think you’d be willing to stand in the rain for him forever? Eternally condemned to wallow his sadness, were you supposed to be sad for as long as he was? And for a while you did, you shared his sadness but you didn’t have much more in you to give him. There was only so much pity you could feel, so much empathy you were willing to subject yourself to. 
The elevator rings, a sign that you should get off and take whatever is yours and get away from Monaco.
You put the key in the keyhole, and enter what once was your home and now looks almost like a staged apartment, ready to be shown off and sold to the highest bidder. It feels eerie, what once was so familiar is now a distant memory you’re ready to get over.
Most of the boxes are all closed and ready to be sent away, with a few things left in shelves and drawers. You remember calling your family and asking if you could stay with them a few days, you felt ashamed at how you left everything behind just to come back to it so unexpectedly. 
“Chérie, you don’t have to leave. I can stay with Joris until you find your own place.” no more ma chérie, just chérie. It seemed you’d both unconsciously already made the graves for your relationship. 
“This is your place, Charles. I’m not going to kick you out of it.” you smoothly respond, trying to focus on taking whatever is left on the shelf by the TV. 
Your hand brushes against an old photo of the two of you. His hands around your waist, you looking up at him with a huge smile on your face, with Monaco as the landscape behind you. 
“This was our place, I don’t even—” he stops himself, like it pains him to say whatever is on his mind, resigned he sighs and changes his answer, “I might have to sell this, it’s too big for just me anyway.” 
The implication of his words would have sent you down a spiral a few months ago, now you don’t even reminisce on the what-if.
“Either way, I’ve already arranged a place to stay. I really don’t want to inconvenience you, this is your home not mine.” you say, and you watch as his jaw clenches and his eyes dim, but it is too late now to go back. You’re both too far gone. 
“Okay, then.” he sighs, and although you’ve made peace with the end of your relationship you want him to fight for you. It is his nonchalant way of going about life that makes you mad, and what sealed the fate of whatever remains of your relationship were left.
You’ve fought so hard and for so long, you want to make him feel what you felt. Retribution comes to you in his resignation, and yet it is simply not enough for your greedy, broken heart.
It pisses you off how so much of your youth he got to witness, how he got all the special moments of your life and now you cannot even recognise the girl you once were. All those dreams, all that naïveté, has long since died and is now buried in Monaco.
“It’s late and I’m really tired, so tomorrow morning I’ll have them pick up and ship off my things.” 
“Where are you staying?” he tries to be casual, tries to hide the desperation in his voice, but fails to do so because you know him too well. He fears you know him better than anyone ever has. 
“A hotel nearby,” you easily answer, 
Don’t let me go.
A beat passes, he opens his mouth and closes it shortly after, like he’s not sure what to say or how to act.
Please, don’t let me go. 
“Do you need me to take you there?”
“No, I’m okay, it’s a short walk from here.”
And so you put away the few things you were holding, brushing past him like he’s a stranger in the street. You’ve seemingly packed up your whole life in a few boxes, and you feel oddly calm about it. Hopeful about the future, all resentment you could have has turned into motivation. 
You seal the last open box, and it’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. There are no scores to settle, no need for revenge, this chapter of your life has been sealed and you are ready to continue with whatever the story of your life has prepared for you.
“Text me when you get to the hotel, yes?” you pause at his words, and a part of you wants to curse him out for being the way he is, because despite everything he is a kind man. You just wish he could've been as kind to the old you as he is to the current you. And you wonder why you're given all this kindness, when you have both your feet out the door and every single remainder of your love has been tucked away. It is not fair, but nothing really is when it comes to love.
“Sure,” you say as you nod, a small smile gracing your face, though you're sure it looks close to a grimace. 
You walk out of the apartment, leaving your copy of the keys on the table next to the door. As it closes, you let out a sigh and go out the same you came in, calm and collected. With the broken, bloody pieces of your heart in his hands and you with the same blue heart of his you know so well.
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You don’t text Charles when you make it to the hotel. 
You twist and turn in your bedsheets, not being able to sleep once again. You can't remember the last time you had a good night's sleep. And so you do what you've been doing for months, you go over every step and stone of your relationship.
Although sleep doesn’t consume you, the memories do. Those unforgiving, wretched memories about the downfall of your relationship. As you lie awake, the weight of your thoughts presses down on you, each recollection sharper and more painful than the last. 
You reminisce on the brighter days, filled with laughter and pure love, where every touch was like electricity on your skin and every word a promise of a future together. You recall all those moments you fought to make him laugh, to bring back the warmth that had once been effortless. But those bright memories are quickly overshadowed by the darker ones— the fights that grew more frequent, the silences that stretched longer, the love that slowly turned to resentment. 
Every detail is vivid in your mind— he look in his eyes as he drifted away, the chill that settled in your bones each night he didn't fall asleep beside you. You replay the conversations, the accusations, the desperate attempts to salvage whatever was left. But despite your efforts, the spirit of the relationship was long gone, leaving behind a shell of what once was.
As the memories flood back, you feel the anger and sadness welling up inside you. You gave so much of yourself, your youth, your energy, only to be left with the empty shell of a broken dream. You think about how he swore that he loved you, yet the proof was never there. 
You recall that last fight, by then the stitches of your relationship had come undone, the fabric of your shared experience torn beyond repair. There was nothing left to cling onto, nothing more than your delusion and the memories you held close to your heart. 
“Mon amour, why did you stay awake? You know how long I take at the factory.” he whispers, almost cooing at you but also filled with exhaustion. Like you being awake is another burden you're placing on him, now that he has to deal with your awakened mind. 
“Couldn’t fall asleep, I guess.” you answer, playing with the ends of your hair, not daring to look at him. 
You watch as he places his stuff on the ground, taking off his shirt and entering the bathroom to wash his face and prepare for sleep. It is quite a shame you have no intentions of sleeping, or to let the misery you're living through go on.
“I’ll join you in just a moment,” he calls out from the bathroom, his voice muffled from the ajar door between you.
“Okay,” is all you come up with, all you can muster to respond.
The silence in the apartment grew heavy. The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed to echo through the room, each second stretching out into eternity. 
As you listened to the sound of water running, you traced patterns on the bedsheets with trembling hands. You couldn’t shake the feeling of suffocation, of being trapped in a life that wasn’t quite yours. The dreams you once nurtured seemed distant, obscured by the everyday struggles and compromises.
When Charles emerged from the bathroom, the lines of fatigue etched deeper into his face. His eyes met yours briefly before he turned away, pulling a worn t-shirt and slipping under the covers beside her. You could feel the warmth radiating from his body, yet you could see the coldness that he seemed to reserve especially for you. He made no effort to kiss you, to hold you, those miniscule actions were like finding gold nowadays.
It was now or never, you had decided. You had gained courage all day to finally speak your mind, the least he could do is listen and try to fight for you. For the remains of your love that hadn’t yet dusted away.
“You know,” you begin tentatively, your voice almost shaky with emotion, “it feels like we’re drifting apart. I miss us, Charles.”
He turned to you sharply, eyes flashing with something like shock and annoyance. “I’m tired, Y/N. Can’t we talk about this tomorrow?”
“But we never talk about it!” you exclaimed, frustration boiling over. “Every day, it’s the same thing. You come home late, exhausted, and we pretend everything’s okay. But it's not okay! It hasn’t been for a long time, and I need more than this.”
He sighs heavily, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. “I’m doing the best I can.”
“Sure you are,” you retort back, voice tinged with bitterness. You knew he would dismiss your feelings, but it still stung.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m always second, Charles.” you retort, “I stay awake each night wondering if you still care, if there is even some part of you that misses me like I miss you.”
“You always find something to complain about, don’t you?” he turns to you with his eyes narrowed, “You know how much I’m dealing with Ferrari, I thought you’d have some empathy for me, at least.”
“I’m not complaining, Charles. I’m trying to talk to you!” your frustration has now reached its peak, “I miss us. I miss the days when we actually talked, when you actually listened.”
“I’m exhausted,” he says, ignoring your words once more. “Do you think this lifestyle pays for itself? Because, news flash, it doesn’t. You signed up for this, don’t put this on me now.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” you ask, resigned to your situation and the emotions that have overtaken you, “You're never here, Charles. I feel like I’m living with a stranger instead of the man I fell in love with.”
“Well, maybe if you didn't make everything so difficult,” he snapped, his patience wearing thin. He doesn't dare to look at you, he can't bear to see the expression on your face.
You feel tears stinging in your eyes, a mix of anger and hurt washing over you. “I’m not making things difficult. I’m asking for us to work on our relationship, to make time for each other.”
“I don’t have time,” Charles shot back, his voice cold and distant. “This is the life we have now. Deal with it.”
“Is this really what you want?” you demand, your voice rising. “A relationship where we just coexist, where we’re barely holding on?”
He turns away from you again, his silence cuts deeper than any words ever could. You feel the despair, the realizations sinking in that your relationship might be beyond repair.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you whisper, voice cracking with emotion.
“Then what do you expect me to do?” he retorted, his frustration matching yours.
“I expect you to fight for us, Charles!” you exclaimed, a tear slipping down your cheek. “I expect you to care enough to try.”
He doesn’t respond, the silence a stark reminder of how far you had both drifted apart. You wiped your tears away, feeling the weight of your crumbling relationship pressing down on your chest.
“If you can’t even talk to me, then maybe we’re already done.” you say quietly, the finality of your words hanging in the air.
He doesn’t protest, doesn’t reach out to you. You turned away from him, curling up on your side of the bed, feeling the emptiness of your once vibrant love surrounding you. As you stared into the darkness, you wondered if you had reached the end, if this was all the closure you would get.
As you laid there, enveloped in the silence that now seemed thicker than ever, you realised that something inside you had shifted irreversibly. The pain of his indifference cut deep, but so did the clarity that you couldn’t continue living forever like this, forever under the blue of his days.
The weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air, you couldn’t bear it any longer. With a shaky breath, you gathered your resolve and spoke softly into the darkness, voice trembling with both sadness and determination.
“I think… I need some time,” you began, your words tentative yet resolute. “Time to figure out what I want and what’s best for me.”
He turned to you then, his eyes reflecting a mixture of surprise and resignation. “What are you saying?”
You struggled to find the right words. “I’m saying… I’m saying that I’m done, Charles. I can’t keep pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. I deserve more than this.” 
His expression hardened, a flicker of frustrations crossing his face. “So that’s it? You’re just giving up?”
“I’m not giving up,” you shot back, “I’ve been fighting for us for so long, but you… you're not even here, I can’t keep begging for your attention, for your love.”
Charles doesn't respond immediately, his silence echoing loudly in the room. You felt a wave of sorrow wash over you as you realized that your love had turned into a battlefield of neglect and misunderstanding.
“I thought we could fix this,” he finally murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Maybe we could have,” your heart breaks with every word you utter. “But it’s too late now, I’m exhausted, Charles. I’m exhausted from trying to pretend like you care and for trying to fix something beyond repair.”
He sits up at your words, finally looking at you, the weight of your failed relationship heavy in his eyes. “I’m sorry, mon ange. I never meant for it to end like this.”
“Neither did I,” you replied softly, “But I can’t keep living like this. I deserve happiness. We both do.” he reached out to touch your hand, but you gently pulled away, the gesture feeling hollow now.
You sat there in silence, you knew that walking away would be the hardest thing you had ever done, but you also knew it was the only way forward.
Without another word, you stood up from the bed. Looking at him, the man you loved with all your heart but who had drifted away from you.
“I’m sleeping on the couch,” you tell Charles, and he doesn’t fight you, just wordlessly nods and longingly looks at you as you step away and into your living room.
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You stood at the window of the hotel room, staring out at the city that had been your home for so long. The cobblestone streets, the azure waters, and the gentle hum of luxury. This place, once your sanctuary, now felt like a prison of memories that had soured with time. A reminder of a love that couldn't withstand the weight of reality.
Outside, the familiar sights and sounds of Monaco stirred memories that tugged at your heart— lazy afternoons by the beach, candlelit dinners overlooking the harbour, stolen kisses beneath the starlit sky.
But today, as the plane ticket lay on the table beside your suitcase, you knew it was time to leave Monaco behind. Despite the love you once felt for this place, you couldn’t ignore the ache in your chest, the realisation that your time here had run its course.
As you walked out of the hotel and down the winding cobblestone streets towards the waiting car you had called, you allowed a tear to trickle down your cheek because despite everything you really fucking loved Monaco. For so, so long.
But you’ll find somewhere new.
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bkgml · 1 year
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i absolutely LOVE your works!! could you write about y/n and bakugo having a argument and y/n sleeping on the couch? i dont mind if its gonna be a sad or happy ending ;D
(feel free to ignore this ask!)
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WOOOO I GET SUCH A BOOST WHEN PPL COMPLIMENT MY WORK is that shallow idk but like even if it is you can’t blame me 😚
“leave me alone katsuki.” you frown, tears in your lash line as you walk into the kitchen.
“stop acting like a child yn.” he calls after you.
you stop before inhaling sharply to regain your composure. you’re not in the mood to argue, you had a really long day today and you just wanted to cuddle katsuki and go to bed.
you continue walking to the fridge so you can make dinner.
“now you’re fuckin ignoring me? it was one date.” he says coldly.
that pushes you over the edge. whipping your head to glare at him.
“one date?! katsuki you’ve missed 15 dates. you’re constantly prioritizing me over your job and i get left behind to pick up the pieces. i’m sick of it!!” you scream.
he walks toward you, caging you into the counter and you frown because you know what he’s looking for.
“you can’t kiss me and expect this to all go away katsuki. it’s happened too many times!” you frown, pushing him away.
he lets you, taking the hint.
“you know i need to go into work when they call me, you’re being selfish!” he yells and slams his hand on the countertop.
you jump away from him and your eyes fill with tears.
“don’t yell at me.” you frown.
“i’m gonna go to bed. i don’t want dinner.” you mumble, rushing past him to go to the family room.
“you’re not sleeping on the couch.”
“don’t tell me what to do!!” you snap.
he purses his lips and turns to leave.
“i’m sleeping on this couch before you decide to do the proper thing and apologize like an adult.” you call after him.
his fists clench and he stoms into the bedroom.
you force yourself to sleep. you’ve forgiven him way too many times.
katsuki lies awake in his room. counting how many minutes have passed without you coming to bed. he didn’t know you were this mad, he wants to spend time with you so badly. unfortunately hes trying to save up for the perfect ring and has taken on too many shifts. hes hoping he hasn’t fucked up bad enough for you to leave him.
at that thought, he makes his way to the living room. peeling back the warm blankets in exchange for the cold air of a girlfriend-less night.
he finds you in a light sleep on the couch.
“baby.” he says, brushing your hair out of your face.
“baby come to bed please? ‘m sorry.” he says, lowly.
your eyes flutter open and you frown at him.
“i said im not coming to bed, suki.” you pout.
he grunts in frustration.
“fine.” he says, standing.
you think he’s on his way back to bed so you shut your eyes once again.
only to feel your body get crushed by his weight.
“katsuki.” you groan, trying to shove him off.
“not moving.” he says while wrapping his strong arms around your waist.
“i’m not done being mad at you.” you whisper into the silence.
he removes his arms in favour of pulling up your shift to press soft kisses to the spot on your tummy that sends butterflies to flutter around your stomach.
“i know.” he replies in between kisses.
“but i’m done with you being mad at me.” he says while putting your shirt down over his head.
you sigh, attempting to pull the shirt back up so you can see his face.
he doesn’t let you though, preferring to nose at the soft part of your tummy.
“i know you’re hiding a blush under there.” you say.
“no you don’t.” he replies, resuming his kisses.
“alright.” you say softly.
he pops his head out now, thumbs starting to rub circles into your hips.
“hm?” he questions.
you sigh before reaching to cup his cheek.
“i forgive you,” you mumble and he smiles softly, leaning into your palm.
“i guess.” you grin and he bites your hand.
“ow! don’t push your luck.” you frown.
“sorry,” he mumbles.
“i guess.” he says and your grin drops.
he cackles loudly before standing and throwing you over his shoulder.
you laugh with him and bite his waist.
“hey.” he grunts and throws you on the bed.
you giggle and open your arms.
he shuffles up until his entire body weight is on you and his face is in your neck.
“don’t sleep on the couch ever again.” he mumbles, lips grazing your neck giving you shivers.
“don’t do dumb shit ever again.” you mumble back and he frowns.
“said i was sorry.”
“i know.” you smile, brushing his hair off his forehead and pressing a lingering kiss to his skin.
he hums in content as his eyes flutter shut before he falls asleep.
“miss another date and i’ll fucking kill you.” you whisper.
his eyes snap open.
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licensedproldier · 3 months
Text
highlights from the brennan hank interview (aka taking notes on things that i liked or didn't know)
HE STARTED ATTENDING COLLEGE WHEN HE WAS 14?????
immediate jump off topic from hank to ask him about d20 (this happened while fhjy was airing)
"and the greatest project of all, my wonderful family with my wife isabella roland"
bonding over their children
brennan and hank's son both corrected their father's bedtime stories 💀
many elaine lee shoutouts
"his dad met my mom and fell in love" "you did that" "we did that, parent-trapped them"
was pulled out of school in 4th grade for homeschooling because the bullying was so bad....
started a company when they (he and his brother) were fifteen?? called Bootleg Adventures
hank's little awed hiss of "what" to the above piece of information
GOT PART OWNERSHIP OF THE WAYFINDER COMPANY AT 15
"knowledge is something that, when you share it, there's just more. there's no scarcity"
hank staring off into space slightly looking like brennan just blew his mind (we're 11 minutes in)
"we were 14 year old philosophy majors, if you can imagine anything more normal than that"
brennan unable to resist doing fun voices for the people he talks about
he wouldve loved to work at wayfinder full time and said back then hey maybe ill become a famous internet comedian or something and that's how i can help camp. now he's got texts from the staff saying how a bunch of dimension 20 fans have joined and its been a huge boon for them that way 🥺
"it's funny when a really bad plan works. dont make that plan."
"every new community-- is this too sad? no its true" THOSE THINGS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE
anyway "for every new community i start with the presupposition that someone is going to pick me up and put me in the trash can" 😭
hank sniping him through the duplex door with "[when you do that] you kind of imagine yourself to be the value you're delivering rather than yourself, or that your value is in what you deliver and not who you are" and brennan going 😐 "that's a great point man"
both of them turning to do pained smiles at the camera 😭
"i think the value is in who you are" "that's really sweet i appreciate that" "but i also love that you deliver"
brennan quoting mary oliver
im starting to feel a little called out guys
robert mckee "stories are not about their premises they're about their conclusions"
brennan also staring off into space slightly thinking about what hank said
the REAL college advice brennan is giving is reportedly "put an egg in your ramen" because thats how you stop your eyes from going "matte finish"
shoutout to vanessa's dumplings for keeping this man alive
"i am ozymandias nerd of nerds, gaze upon my banner and despair"
the moment he felt like something changed was walking into C2E2 and seeing that the biggest hanging banner in the convention hall was of fantasy high. or, as brennan put it, "my dumb face"
"my friends moved in with their partners, the apartment i had with them scattered to the wind, the woman i was dating dumped me after three weeks, and i won a bunch of money on Who Wants to Be a Millionare" "wh- what???"
he taught emily, murph, siobhan, and zac how to play dnd 🥺 and was running a home game for lou at the same time
got hired at um, actually because his name was getting around for being a big dork
zac stepped down from troopers and sam liked brennan's character from a previous casting call (tim curry eating pizza) so he brought him in
its very charming the detail with which brennan remembers these important moments in his life
became a full time cast member in the same week he started dating izzy! "hard to beat week gang!"
"they told us they were launching dropout and everyone had to make a show, which, if you're been trying to make a show your whole life, that's like saying 'bad news guys, there's 24 birthday cakes in the break room and everyone has to eat a whole birthday cake'."
brennan was making a document for a market pitch on an actual-play show when he was called into office and THEY pitched HIM the idea of an actual-play show
"i guess i have tumbled through life to end up here ready to do this"
truly like. one of the guys of all time.
"some of the things that didn't make sense about you make more sense now" hank talking indirectly about how amazing he found all the moving parts of mentopolis and now getting to hear about how long and how many time he's done storytelling it makes sense
"yeah its the one skill"
"i wanted to tell stories before i was anything else"
🎉anti-capitalist rant🎉
"people used to say 'is ucb a cult' and i'd say 'in a cult, somebody is making money'"
HIGH FIVE!!!
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bangchansgirlsblog · 8 months
Text
Keeping up with the Bhangs
This is a one shot from the little series. Read it if you would like it’s on my master list :))
Warning: Angst
Pairing: Bangchan x reader
Summary: Being a mum is hard when you have to constantly play good cop, bad cop.
**
"Chan?" She called for her husband. "Chan come look at what your daughter did!" Y/n called again. The sight infront of her was painful. Her little girl was stood in the middle of the room looking so innocent but she had created a huge train wreck around her. She couldn’t believe it.
She tried to keep her cool, she really did but she couldn’t. She heard the quiet footsteps making their way up towards their daughters room. Her anger was being tested and she felt like she was about to blow.
"What is it Y/n? I have a really important-" he paused when he looked up from his phone as he stared at the sight in front of him. "What the hell?" He let out a gasp.
The room was a mess. There was paint everywhere and crayons all over the wall. The collections of toys chan had gotten Soo-min where spread all over the place and her clothers (Soo-min) was covered in dirt, paint and crayons as she stood there looking innocent with the crayon in her hand. 
"Chan look what your daughter did!" Y/n raised her voice a little causing Soo-min to jump. She took little steps quickly to hide behind her father who was now standing fully in the room. It had been obvious she was scolded before this because her little hands were shaking and her lips were quivering.
Chans eyes soften as he loosened the tie that wrapped around his neck and unbuttoned his shirt. He was determined to keep his wife calm and fix whatever was going on. If he had time of course.
"Hey, Y/n calm down. Don’t stress out baby. Its okay," He picked up his little girl with one hand trying to remove the paint of her face. Her eyes on the verge of tears as she pouted. "We can just get the cleaners to clean it-"
Chan being calm about the whole situation pissed of Y/n to the fullest because why was he so put together? Why was he such a good calm dad.
"Chan! you dont get it! this is not okay, she constantly disobeys, this is a huge mess! i left her for only a few minutes!" Y/n groaned frustrated as she threw the cups she had collected from the ground into a basket. 
"Y/n, its fine. She's a baby-" the glare Y/n gave him instantly made him shut up and look at his little girl that was basically holding onto his shirt for dear life. 
"M' sorry," Soo-min chocked on her sobs as tears started to spill and she Sniffed. She didn’t understand why her mum was being so scary. She only wanted to draw to make her happy cause she knew how sad she had been.
Chans heart melted at her little pout.
"Its okay mama, no need to cry. Daddy's got you," Chan wiped the tears from her cheeks and grabbed the crayon and paint brush from her tiny little hands. "Y/n look what you've done, now she's crying."
"Chan you cant honestly think this is okay-" Y/n was buffled. Chan didn't think this was okay, did he?
"she's a kid! kids make mistakes, she's still learning. You don't scold her, you teach her," His voice was now loud aswell. He was getting frustrated. He didnt want his children growing up in a toxic enviroment where they get yelled at or abused. That was his worst nightmare. 
“Then fine! You raise them if ur such a good teacher,”
“I don’t have time for this Y/n I have a big meeting coming-“
“Of course you fucking do, why don’t you just move into your office and abandon your kids and pregnant wife!”
Her blood was boiling. It was like she was getting everything off her chest and she needed it.
“Y/n that’s enough. Your acting like a child in front of her!” Chan growled. “You can’t even control this situation without calling and crying for me,” his chest was moving up and down as he was huffing. Trying so hard to control himself but he was stressed and tired and it was like she wanted to pick a fight every chance she got.
"Chan! why do you always have to be good cop. Why cant you see this is wrong? Stop being a bad parent and-'
"Bad parent?" He scoffs and looked up at her buffled, "I'm the bad parent? just cause you were abused when you were younger doesn't mean you have to put your trauma on my children..." His eyes go wide. He didn't mean it. He was just angry. He didn't mean any of it. 
The tension in the air wise thick. The shocked gasp that left her mouth was painful. Her head started to spin. Her eyes turning red as her body started to overheat. The emotions she felt were overwhelming. A panic attack was coming on. Her eyes landed on her daughter, the little girl was covering her ears trying to cover her face in her fathers chest. Was she a monster?
"Papa? no fighting," The little girl squealed as she still continued to cover her ears. This made Y/n's heart break. was it true? was she becoming her toxic mother. 
 "It's okay mama," He comforted her shivering body, "I-Im going to get her changed so i can go back to my meeting. I'll tell the maids to come clean up," he so badly wanted to hold his wife and apologize but with the way she stood in one place he knew he couldn't have the conversation, well not right now. 
The door closed behind him as her little girls sniffles slowly faded in the distance. Y/n was in shock. Her brain was taking long to react. Her hands were cold and all of a sudden she couldnt hear anything around her.
Was she the problem? Was she being hard on the kids? she never yelled at any of them unless they did something horrible, she never intended for the father of her kids to call her toxic. To embarrass her like that.
It was too much, she was done playing tough guy. she was tired of the constant fight of depression. She was tired of her husband degrading her as she stayed home while he was out all night partying doing God knows what. 
She wanted her life back. she wanted to be fun again. She didnt want to be tired all the time. She was tired of being pregnant.
Her face felt wet. Her hands automatically covering her eyes. Heart wrenching sobs leaving her body as she placed a hand on her belly. The doubt of being a mother was creeping back up. The sudden urge to run away and dissapear haunted her conscious. Truth is she was tired of the fake smiles and the big parties and important business people.
Yes, she loved the big house her husband built for them, she loved the grand cars and the golden credit cards but she wanted to feel again. She wanted to be loved again. By her husband. She wanted to be a teenager again, falling in love and being young and free.
She laid on the called floor. Her arms supporting the heavy bump she was carrying. The tiled sending shivers down her spine. The tears still spilling from her eyes until eventually she grew tired and fell asleep.
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princessbrunette · 9 months
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just imagine beings jjs innocent gf and youre really inexperienced and it makes you so insecure and like hes not stupid he notices how you tend to pull back when things get heavy but he thinks its because you dont wanna go farther when its like you DO but you want him so bad its overwhelming and you dont wanna disappoint him but one day he reassures you its okay and to ease you into it he sits you on his lap and talks you through your first orgasm while you cum so prettily around his fingers :(
omg working yourself up to near tears because you want him to bad :( attending a lil pogue get together at the chateau, everyone getting drunk around the fire with music playing and it’s sm fun but all you can think about is how badly u wanna pull jj away from everyone and have your way with him… you just don’t know how :(
you haven’t done this before! so you don’t even know how to propose the idea, eventually the blonde picking up on your shaky and hesitant vibe when you ask him to come inside with you to get more ice from the freezer, even a few people wolf whistling as he lets you lead him by the hand inside.
he’s standing there shucking ice into the bucket, turning and looking at you when you slowly approach him with a softness to your expression you only gain when you want a kiss. so he stands to his full height and brings you in with cold hands on your cheeks, allowing your lips to meet.
mostly due to you, the kiss gets hot and heavy quickly, tongues needily dancing over eachother as you blindly found the couch, JJ pulling you onto his lap. your heart starts hammering like it always does and you pull away, a little panicked and frustrated, dropping your head to his shoulder with a sad sigh. “sorry.” you whimper.
“why? hey?” he lifts your chin with his knuckle, brow creased in concern. you don’t say anything, just climb off his lap— and you don’t miss the way he tugs his tshirt down a little trying to hide the bulge that had formed between his legs. after a slightly tense silence, he chooses his words carefully. “babe… y’know me, i don’t wanna come across like some pushy asshole but… am i doing something wrong? i dont wanna scare you, like— we can totally move at your pace it’s just… it seems like you want it and then you pull away and im just a little… confused?” he turns his body to face you, keeping his body language and voice gentle as to let you know you’re not in trouble with him.
you blink up at him tearfully through your lashes anyway as if he had yelled at you, letting a long sigh through your nose. “i… i just panic. i want you so bad it hurts but… dont know what i’m doing, just get so overwhelmed ‘n embarrassed and—” you start working yourself up and he shuffles closer, cupping your jaw.
“hey. look at me. that’s… what im here for, you know? to teach you stuff? we can take it really slow like…” he places a hand on your thigh, watching for your reaction, seeing the way your lashes flutter needily and breath catches in your throat. poor thing, so touch starved. “really, really slow.” he whispers, rubbing the skin there, fingers dipping a little up your skirt. “you okay with this, hm?” he tilts his head, dotting kisses down your jaw.
“mhm.”
“atta girl… you wanna stay right there or do you wanna sit on my lap?”
“on your lap, please.”
“polite, i like it.” he grins, pulling you up and getting you situated as his hand disappears up your skirt, tongue finding yours once more.
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be-good-to-bugs · 6 months
Text
hey what if i like, didn't have a headache right now. that idea sounds cool we should do that idea.
#the bin#ack. i cant like. do anything.#i want to draw right now but i cant cause of this :/#the screen hurts my eyes and the leaning over makes it worse. and the leaning from traditional art is SO BAD.#hhh. i hope it will go away soon but i dont think it will. im feeling stomach sick too so i cant take ibuprofen either. sad.#i didnt end up getting to call my mom yesterday. i was SO tired probably because i had a 2 hour panic attack and it was past when#id been going to sleep anyway so i fell asleep. today should be more idea bc i stayed in bed till kinda late.#im really nervous. theres other stuff stressing me too like lending a bunch of money to my sister again. i dont have a lot right now and i#will need some extra for moving costs regardless of if i stay here or get to go home. supposedly she will return it in a week#its not for her technically. its for her boyfriends rent. if it was for her i probably wouldnt have tbh bc she sucks SO MUCH about this#stuff. i do have the money and i get it. i dont know him but its not a problem for me as long as i get it back very soon#ive lent a couple smaller amounts to him before and he was quick to get it back. and he always offers to send back more which i dont care#about but like. he gets that im not REALLY in a position to be able to do this. im still stressed the fuck out tho.#my body hurts so bad all the time. im glad i get time off this week but god damn.#i was gonna use it to clean but idk if my body is gonna let me. well. at least one of the days it will have to.#i hope i get good news today when i talk to her. i wanna stop having to stress so bad about this
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